#but i cannot pick favorites cause i’m indecisive

[silverwasafukintrainwreck]

who is your favourite mutual? tag them if you want, or not

god that’s hard. i really appreciate all my mutuals cause i don’t have a lot. i think there’s like five of them total. but if i have to pick i’ll go with the ones i interact with the most, which would be goshdangronpa and junkotheultimatedespair!

[mellowwhumps]

MELLO!!! in regards to what you said about haley being your favorite to put into Situations.

what are some of you favorite situations you put that skrunkly in?? i need to know more about him he so silly and special to me

HIII HELLOO i’m not very good at explaining it’s all in my head for the most part LMAOO,,, i’ll try though so long post ahead

for the most part i use haley to try out different tropes so it’s just anything tbh!!! both physical and emotional whump this guy gets it all... mainly i enjoy putting him in interactions and Situations with other characters because the main problem with this guy is that he simply cannot open up and is constantly being dealt a questionable hand in life (could even say he was born unlucky since fun fact! he’s from the destroyed city in twelve and verrill’s main storyline. though that’s not relevant)

so i think the best approach would be to further summarize his dynamics with some others!! because i think it would be more helpful to one day do a fully written work rather than summarizing the things i already want to write + i am indecisive and cannot pick favourites so why not. all

else, in which i get majorly sidetracked from your ask:

halcyon - essentially, they’re kinda like a really tense sort of brother-sister r/s because for one, haley did murder half her men in the war that broke out between their two homes. but!! while she’s trying her best to try and get closer to him and ask him to open up, he’s so conditioned to doing just the opposite and resisting. however, he does respect her as a person and they are both mutually beneficial minus the dubious mental health part !! she helps him, he helps her in return

another situation that kind of just. happens is one that occurs with her quote-on-quote girlfriend (nora) because my god would she absolutely disagree with him even if halcyon agrees, simply because she doesn’t believe haley should be forgiven for causing major injuries to halcyon, no matter how much halcyon just wants to reconcile and put the past over with. and then after that haley’s r/s with her ends up benefitting her and halcyon’s r/s in return

ria - something something he wants to give her a better childhood because he never experienced that… they are very much reliant on each other and are each other’s savior. ria, who admittedly has attachments to him much closer than he’d like, is constantly trying to help as much as she can while dealing with her generally rowdy and impulsive self, contrasting with haley’s closed-off persona. they both have that lingering fight-or-flight response but man do they subtly care so much about each other…theme of home is so strong on this one

elowen - while all the other dynamics previously mentioned are mutually beneficial, this one doesn’t particularly fall into that category!! not a math geek but they’re very much like a graph to the asymptote; they cannot fully understand each other. no matter how close haley gets to him, he always falls a little bit too far. one stagnant and stationary, the other trying too hard to ask questions. they love like a person’s reflection in the water, love like a dog to its owner; handler to weapon, father to son. but they do love each other. that will always be how it is <3

my story focuses on the after, so it’s mostly haley dealing with faded memories of that past with elowen as well as his feelings, because a “person” cannot possibly let go of something in a day or month. he has to deal with the actions that caused elowen to be deceased, because he caused it firsthand, he caused it and doesn’t regret it at all. that four letter word runs more deeper than it should, to reasons and all things human.

and of course, as a bonus, himself !!

he does not hate himself. he hates the things he’s done. he hates the things he could do. but the him of the present, he accepts because ‘this is how it is, this is how it is going to be’. the theme that is always present in any of his works is the theme of fate, the one thing he can neither fight off nor decline. because of this, he blames himself for not being able to change anything, just like he failed to stop the war, just like he failed to avoid injuries, just like he failed. he cannot see himself as a person because of his actions, despite his actions proving the exact otherwise. to be contradictory is to be human.

that’s it for the current canon relationships for the main universe he’s in! but unfortunately!! he has a ton of aus because there are too many ideas rotating in my head!! i love exploring dynamics with characters who have realistically never met so here i will once again focus on the main AU i write with my friend!!!! (his role in here is much different from the original, to clarify) 

twelve (AU-exclusive) - empathetic lil guy (gender neutral) and absolutely knows what’s up with him. haley enjoys their company a lot, and so do they, since first impressions are much more important than they seem. both of their themes include a longing to be normal, so then why not be abnormal together, yknow? i don’t have too much about them together (though i might develop on this) however, it’s their arrival that impacts haley’s relationships with others

verrill (AU-exclusive ) - platonic relationships ftw. friendly banter, annoyances and mutual support, but deep down they will always have issues neither are willing to talk about. this is very much doomed but for now they are very good friends. they get whumped together every once in a while. they also get whumped alone every once in a while. sure they can play pretend for a little longer

(silly little thing i did at some point) (it is not romantic!! there just aren’t platonic r/s sheets to fill that would describe them well…)

and twelve joins the both of them together because verrill is twelve’s caretaker as always, and also their translator!! i think they deserve credit too because previously 

1) haley and verrill had zero interest in each other 2)twelve Did Not Like verrill 3) twelve kinda screwed up haley’s relationship with certain other members before verrill took them in and 4) highly questionable backstories so!! all three of their dynamics are deeply interwined and if any one of them were to get into trouble the other two have no intention of giving up (such a shame! <3)

elowen (AU) - i think this too deserves an extra section because he is vastly different in here as i’ve mentioned before (and also alive i think that’s a very important fact and makes ALL the difference). to explain this i will not be talking about their relationship directly, but instead other dynamics that have led to such a relationship: (of course, all the dynamics below are AU-exclusive)

elowen & naeri - naeri is the catalyst of this story! without her absolutely nothing would have happened, they would have all gone about normally and elowen would be much more similar to the original universe. elowen overturns his old life to escape from the lab he works in simply because he got Attachments for her and it spiralled. and then, because there will obviously be something that goes wrong, he is unable to save her. so, he starts the syndicate all these characters work for and meets haley.

but he cannot let go. he cannot let go, because there is no medium for him to do so, nobody he can tell, because what he saw was nothing short of unbelievable nor does he have any decent relations with anyone else. when he looks at haley, long since matured under his care, he sees nothing but that child of his past, the one thing tethering him from moving forward. years pass, he lets go a little bit more. tiny bit. but when all that was buried away, enter:

elowen, to haley & caius - it repeats. of course it was going to repeat; an endless cycle. the place he escaped wasn’t gone, it never was. he didn’t manage to change anything there. doesn’t help that the one chasing after caius was the exact person he wanted to avoid. they’re coming for the place he played a part in and ruining everything he strived to work for. so no, of course he doesn’t support haley’s choice, has already seen the predetermined outcome with his own two eyes. 

it doesn’t happen.

the only way out is forward, into the light. secrets trail from his shadow; scattered truths appear. it’s a start, and he’s had enough of running from haley and anyone else he ever cared for, full stop.

alright!! elowen’s section is FINALLY finished thank god. here are some old works relating to them i suppose

the main syndicate members and twelve - final part!!! i originally wasn’t going to add this but i think this is a good conclusion and also an actual named scenario so i do answer your question semi-properly ksjhfdkjhfs

as i’ve mentioned, the decision to let twelve join was absolutely not easy in the slightest. so here it is in semi-decent detail !!!

verrill proposes making self-sacrifices (which is very much uncommon to someone like him) in order to accept twelve into the team. elowen is much too logical to accept something that would bring negligible advantage to the syndicate, and even though he suggested offers it was only the bare minimum of offering shelter. halcyon, though understanding both sides, opts to be the tiebreaker and chooses elowen’s side because she takes into consideration their current plight of lack of resources, no matter how guilty she feels. 

at this point in time, haley, who had originally chosen to abstain from voting, is the only one who doesn’t view twelve as an asset. twelve, who doesn’t understand anything that’s going on without a translator, is quite visibly conflicted, confused and panicked. he sees it. he points it out, and casts his own proposition to support everyone’s stand, and nora who previously abstained from voting agrees with him. he gets the support of the majority and twelve is let into the syndicate.

in the end, all four other members change their viewpoints. verrill treats twelve as a brother rather than something to be used, halcyon learns to choose from her heart once in a while, elowen understands that people have other uses other than simply being useful and nora recognizes that things don’t go differently if no action is taken. unlike the original universe that deals in fate, this story deals in destiny and the act of changing + moving forward, centering around none other than haley himself. but changing also causes problems, and now everyone’s a little more tense after the choice, and this tension carries over to the start of the AU’s main timeline.

so yes! character interactions are my favourite Situation

this was fun to do!!! thank uu for the ask i love talking about ocs they r also very silly and special to me💥 ask questions or smt if you need because i am very incomprehensible at times

[rillils]

RILS, my love, how have you been? its been so long since i left an ask, honestly.. what do you think our boys are doing rn for valentines??

anyways, HAPPY VALENTINES!! I LOVE YOU <333 💛💛💛 😘😘😘

HONEYYYYYYYYY MY DARLING MY PRECIOUS, ILYSM!!! 😍💖😍💖😍 I cannot tell you how HAPPY I was when I logged in today to find one of your asks!! First things first, happy Valentine’s Day to you too, darling! 💕💕💕 I hope yours has been lovely :3 Second, I just wanna say you’re the sweetest cinnamon roll that ever cinnamon rolled, and whenever I see your url/icon around, my little heart just goes “!!!!! FRIEND!!!!! I LOVE YOU FRIEND!!! 💕💕💕”, so there’s that :3

Lastly, and I think I should warn you here – I’ve been thinking long and hard about what Steve and Bucky must have been doing today, and because I’m the most indecisive scrunklekadoodle out there and I can never make up my mind about anything, I thought I might offer you not one, but a few little scenarios :3 They’re just a few of the infinite possibilities, but they also happen to be a few of my faves, and I hope at least one of them is to your liking, honey!! 😘😘😘😘😘

ALRIGHT NOW TIME TO PUT MY CHEESY GOGGLES ON, LET’S GO

one.

I think there’s at least one timeline out there, where they get to do something like this before the war, and like–

end of the night, they’re coming home – just the two of them, just on the right side of tipsy, you know, warmth in their chests and a sweet buzz under their skin, and while Steve’s fishing for their keys in his pocket, Bucky meets his eyes for a moment and damn but he’s been a fool to go looking for stars up in the sky when they’ve been shining so bright right here in front of him.

So key turns in the hole, door swings open for them, and maybe tonight even their apartment is feeling good – maybe their old radio chooses to crackle back to life for a change, and they pull their curtains closed, they only leave the one lamp on, pick their little corner away from the window just in case.

And they’re supposed to be dancing, see, just a little box step like Becca taught them for laughs the last time the Barnes’ had Steve over for the holidays, but then. But then their eyes meet. And their noses, so softly – and their lips, and that’s so much softer somehow – and Bucky’s hand’s travelling up Steve’s spine, and Steve’s sliding his fingers in Bucky’s hair, and they were meant to be dancing, but they just end up making out for twenty-seven minutes straight instead.

two.

alright, there’s definitely a universe out there, in the always blessed post-CATWS timeline where CACW never happened, and just-- please consider:

Steve’s been planning tonight for so long, ‘cause he wants it to be special, wants Bucky to have a Valentine’s Day just like the stuff you see in the movies; and since he can afford it these days, he has precisely 1107 red roses (one for each day they have been together in the new century) delivered to their apartment, with a hand-scribbled note that reads, Hope to send you a million more.

He’s made a reservation at Bucky’s favorite place, and when Bucky steps out of their bedroom that night, with a fresh shave and his hair carefully pulled back, in tight-fitting black pants and that deep burgundy button down that hugs his shoulders just right and brings out the natural red of his lips, Steve nearly falls to his knees in religious worship.

He fits both hands around Bucky’s slim waist, heart drumming out a crazy beat in his chest, just where Bucky’s hands choose to rest awhile.

“You look like a million dollars, honey.”

Bucky smiles that one secret smile of his, the one that so rarely appears outside the safe walls of their home. His metal hand slides up to stroke at the nape of Steve’s neck, slipping tender fingers under the collar of Steve’s shirt to brush, kiss-soft, against his bare skin – and his touch is thrill and gooseflesh spreading down Steve’s spine.

His voice rumbles deep and warm, just a whisper away from Steve’s lips. “You clean up nicely too, doll.”

And I mean, maybe they make it out the door, or maybe they don’t.

three.

But like have you considered the possibility of Valentine’s in Wakanda, because I mean–

catch these boys living it up in their blissful little bubble like they’re on their own special kind of honeymoon, okay, making total goo goo eyes at each other all the time, and there has to be, there HAS to be a little moment somewhere in there, okay, like

it’s February 14th and- and I don’t think they’ve even checked the calendar in like a week, because who needs to know what day it is when they’ve been savoring their time together like this? Content to explore life on their little farm, going from one meal to work, to the next meal, to more work, and so on and so forth, and measuring their day in how many kisses they managed to sneak in between?

Come sunset, they find each other in the kitchen, and Bucky pulls Steve in by his beltloops and captures his lips all sweet-like, like a greeting and like a promise all at once, and Steve tells himself it’s well worth sweating all day long and chasing after stray goats and getting his work clothes all nice and ripe, if at the end of it all he gets to be kissed hello like this.

Bucky chuckles against his mouth, and Steve tastes the sweat off his whiskers, and the faint sweetness of the dried apricots he knows Bucky keeps on him these days.

“You smell like goat,” Bucky pulls away just enough to say to him, his whole face scrunched up with laughter, his eyes screwed shut, all happy crinkles and them mile-long eyelashes and if god has any mercy at all he won’t let Steve’s heart stop dead in his chest the way it feels like it’s going to do, nope, ‘cause Steve’s got so much more of this to bask in yet, so much more of it, so much more.

“You smell like goat shit,” he tells Bucky, and there’s a story somewhere in here left in the trail of clothes they strew across the floor, and a plot twist for sure where they knock over a lamp and a book and almost trip over Steve’s old boots, but the epilogue sees Steve hoisting Bucky up in his arms and stumbling into the shower with him, same way he keeps doing a little too often lately, and nowhere near often enough.

What they start in the shower, of course, they can finish in the bedroom; and if Bucky moves slow and languorous on top of him, and teaches their hips the old rock ‘n’ roll once more, just to make sure they both remember it still, well Steve has always loved to learn.

four.

Now I was thinking– how about a little bit of a romantic getaway? Maybe a long weekend out of town, perhaps in the mountains, to make the best of what’s left of winter. They spend the whole day going for walks around the local village, sipping on a cup of hot cocoa, playing in the snow just like they used to when they were kids, building a sadly short-lived snow dick together, sledding, until they’re tired all the way down to their bones.

That’s when they go back to their private chalet, proceed to slip out of their damp clothes and climb together in a nice hot bubblebath, where Steve sits himself between Bucky’s legs and lays back against Bucky’s chest, and they alternate between trading slow, lazy kisses and feeding each other the fancy chocolates they brought back with them, until the water’s gone lukewarm.

and I could honestly keep going, but it's getting late and I need to get up early tomorrow, so for now, happy valentine's day to both you and our favourite boys!!

[wisteria-lodge]

lion or badger primary + lightly burned lion secondary (& intense badger model)

Hello there! I've been diving into the Sorting Hat Chats system lately, which has led me to your blog. I love reading how you type characters (Umbrella Academy and Anakin and Obi Wan were some of my favorites, with Scooby Doo getting an honorable mention), and I saw that you had been helping some people figure out their own sorting. I was hoping you might do the same for me, if you have the time/mental energy? 

I'm pretty confident in my secondary. I'm not charge-y like a Lion (but I can be bossy and relentlessly pursue my goal once I've decided on something). 

I dunno friend, that sounds kinda liony to me. “Charging” is a misleading term.

I do take time to analyze and organize things, so I guess that could be a point in favor of a Bird secondary? 

Or a Bird secondary model. 

And I'm not the adaptive Snake, I'm pretty much myself around everyone (unless previously burned by a person, then I'll retreat into myself and keep my distance). 

That’s REALLY lion. 

The reason I think I'm a Badger secondary is because my first instinct is to help. If I walk into the kitchen and see dishes in the sink, I do them. If someone at the store drops an item, I pick it up. I save the comfy chairs at the cinema for my friends because they're always late. That's how I make friends, really! Consistent acts of service, volunteering to help. Some on the outside looking in say that I'm smart, or that school is so easy for me, but they don't see all the work I do. Anyway, that was a long way of saying that the hardworking, community building Badger definitely suits me.

Interesting. Because yeah, that does sound very Badger. You’re either a Lion or a Badger secondary, and whichever one you don’t have you model. My guess is that you are probably a Lion who models Badger, just because I honestly cannot picture a Badger secondary saying “I'm pretty much myself around everyone (unless previously burned by a person, then I'll retreat into myself and keep my distance).” That is so distinctively Lion.

Now I'll dig into the primary, which is where I get stuck. The Sorting Hat Chats quiz usually narrows the choice down to Lion or Badger. I think that my morality is too "felt" to be a Bird, but it encompasses too many people to be a Snake.

Just a reminder that Snakes with huge inner circles absolutely exist.

Which, as previously stated, leaves me with Lion and Badger. For Lion... I like the idea of it. I always wanted to be a Lion (they were the main characters in the books, after all), but I don't feel brave enough.

Ugh, “brave” is such a nebulous concept. Annoying.

When the quiz asks me to choose between my family and the world, I choose the world, because my family is part of the world. And other people's families, just as important as mine, are part of the world too. So, I could be a Lion? Maybe I just don't have a cause yet.  

That’s either Badger or Paragon Lion (which looks super Badger a lot of the time.) 

There have been a few real life scenarios where I've had to choose between the community I'm part of and the right thing. When I was in public school, I ended up losing my entire friend group because I stood up to the girl who was gossiping and backstabbing people. In an experience much closer to home, I've lost an entire side of my family because I learned a secret. And once I learned it, I couldn't go back. I couldn't look at that family member the same way again, couldn't be silent. I couldn't keep my head down. So when they asked me to choose-- my reality, or theirs-- I chose mine. I chose the truth. I wouldn't go back and change it, but it still hurts. These situations and choices all feel kind of Lion, don't they? 

They sure do. Very publish-and-be-dammed. Actually it’s so Lion that I’m counting it as another point for a Lion secondary. 

But I only make decisions, walk away, etc. when I'm extremely pressed. Most of the time, I'm too indecisive

This could be evidence of a little bit of secondary burning. And if you have an extremely strong Badger secondary model (as I suspect you do) I would actually be surprised if you didn’t build it to augment a slightly charred secondary.

 or the issue isn't important enough to say anything. 

Ah. The Morally Bored Lion. Also known as the Chill Lion. Totally a thing. Some Lions get an intense gut response about pretty much everything they go up against, and some just... don’t.

Moving to Badger now (I apologize for how long this is). 

An apology. But a small one, quite a long ways down. A burned secondary, but you know. Just a little bit burned.  

I kind of like the idea of being all soft and sweet and dreamy, though I'm aware that this is definitely a Badger stereotype. 

Yep. Badgers are scary. 

I think that it's important to contribute to my community and volunteer to do service, give donations, clean up litter, etc. Sorting Hat Chats says that Badgers tie their self worth up in their communities, which might be true for me. I do hang some of my worth on being a good friend, so the fact that my friendships are limited right now due to circumstance does make me feel like a failure/loser a lot of the time. I wouldn't say that I'm loyal to tradition, however. Badgers prioritize the people who need them most, right? And I like helping people, I feel guilty when I don't have money to give beggars on street corners. 

This all Badger secondary stuff, and we know that you have one hell of a Badger secondary [model]

My goal in life is to help people and bring peace, which seems Badger? 

Or Paragon Lion.

Again, I'm sorry for how long this is, and if you're not in the headspace to answer it, I totally understand. Any insight you can give would be fantastic, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Happy New Year, wish you the best :)

[ficsilike-reblogged]

Blood In the Rivers: IV

A/N: I’m sorry. (But, on that note, chapter V will be out soon, because I had parts of that written long before I thought of actually posting this fic.) Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, commented, and read the last chapter. You deserve nice things.

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Ellaria Sand x F!Reader (Tully)

Rating: T for brief suicidal thoughts, canon typical sexism, my overuse of italics

Word Count: 7k (I have lost my chill, apparently) 

Read Chapters I-III here! Or on Ao3!

Chapter Four: A Pentoshi Heart

Her mother once said, “You may have your father’s name, little one, but you have a Pentoshi heart.”

“What does that mean, Mother?” Y/N asked, eyes wide in childlike curiosity. Her little hands had grabbed fistfuls of her mother’s deep blue skirts as the wind rushed by, carrying the scent of evergreens.

“It means,” she paused and cleared her throat, words warbling on her tongue in her beautiful, Pentoshi accent, “it means that you fling yourself into adventures without thinking of the consequences. That you destroy what you cannot control.” Vaella bent and held her daughter’s face in her hands. “You must take care, little one, that you do not lose yourself to someone who will drive you to your worst impulses.”

The words meant little to young Y/N, but she nodded and smiled at her mother. “I will try, Mother. To not lose my heart.”

Perhaps she had been given too much time to think. Or maybe thinking was the only thing from teetering over the edge into despair. It had been almost two weeks since Tywin had announced that Loras had been raised to the Kingsguard. The second royal wedding was the day after tomorrow and she…hadn’t seen Oberyn since he’d kissed her in the Small Council chamber.

Ellaria had been scarce in her visitations, too. They’d met only twice in the gardens for a few brief moments. There was something Ellaria was hiding, Y/N was sure of it. But she was too sad to question it. To ask for answers. To ask where Oberyn had gone.

And the last time Ellaria had held her close, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against her lips, she whispered, “you must be strong, My Tully.”

The sound of the nickname on Ellaria’s tongue almost relieved the weight she felt on her shoulders. She was Ellaria’s. She had been Oberyn’s, too. But that had been nearly a week ago. She’d only caught a glimpse of them at Tommen’s coronation celebrations. A single view of their golden and yellow skirts and robes and then they were gone and she was left to swear her fealty to the new king by herself. Little Tommen seemed too kind to really be king—but she knew he had been king before that silly crown was placed on his head. As soon as Olenna had shared the news of Joffrey’s death, she knew Tommen was king. Everyone had referred to him as king the day after Joffrey’s funeral anyway, the ceremony seemed redundant.

Y/N was suddenly brought back to the present as something sharp sunk into her shoulder. The Maester had the good grace to look apologetic as he continued to haphazardly pull the stitches from her skin. “Nearly finished, my lady.” Daisy was standing at her back as the maester worked, trailing comforting fingers up and down her spine to distract her from the strange ache the procedure created. “These have been some of my finest work. The scars shall be minimal compared to what it could have been.”

Y/N wanted to tell him that the scars were still ugly no matter how “fine” his stitching may have been. It twisted from the edge of her collarbone to just under her arm, raised and discolored like a beacon of her misstep. There was a matching scar on her back. They’d had to cut her open to clean the wound properly, pouring firewine into her flesh to stop a possible infection. It was a small solace that she had been unconscious for that.

To keep her mind from focusing on the pincers in the feeble hands of the Maester, she tried to think of anything else. It was a bit of advice her Uncle Hoster had taught her when she was still a girl and she’d fallen off her horse and into the rocky bed of the Tumblestone river, earning herself a nasty cut along her leg that required stitches. Uncle Hoster, she thought, dead and gone now—he’d died when she was on the kingsroad to represent the Riverlands at court and ask for the Crown’s protection against the raiders. Word only reached her after she’d settled into her chambers at the Keep. Gone. Just like that. Then there was Eddard Stark, calm and strong and if not a little sullen at times. He always had a kind smile for her. He was gone, too. Bran and Rickon killed by Theon in a coup at Winterfell. Catelyn and Robb dead as well. Arya was in the wind, as was her father. Edmure was a captive of the Lannisters and Sansa was in hiding in Dorne. Jon was at the Wall. What a mess. They’d been scattered like sand in the wind.

This obviously was not a productive train of thought so she tried to focus on the dark but happy reality that Joffrey was dead. Dontos, too. Dontos who had tried to lead Sansa away from her teachings and plan.

“Dontos said he has a plan to get me out of King’s Landing,” Sansa whispered as they pretended to pray. She had told her of the note Dontos had placed beneath her pillow, swearing his fealty to Sansa’s cause as recompense for her saving his life. “He says he has a friend with a ship that will get me out. Take me home to Winterfell.”

“Do you believe him?”

“He seems to believe it.”

Y/N pushed out a long breath through her nose and tightened her clasped fingers. “Has he said anything else to you? Mentioned who this friend is?”

“No.” Sansa shuffled closer on the stone.

The older of the pair paused for a moment. The knight-turned-fool was easily manipulated. There was no possible way he could formulate a plan—the fact that he managed to smuggle a note beneath Sansa’s pillow was suspicious enough. “Tell me what else he says.” She reached out and tugged at the end of Sansa’s loosened braid and a small smile finally touched Sansa’s pretty, pink lips. “But you trust me to get you out of here, don’t you?”

“You’re my family. The only family I have left in this terrible place. Of course I trust you.”

The maester finished and she thanked him before he toddled out of her chambers. Silence stretched for a few moments, tense and sad.

“What can I bring you, my lady?” And poor Daisy continued to fret, noticing her lady’s dour mood. “There are fresh lemon cakes in the kitchens. I watched them bake this morning.”

Y/N nodded and stood from her chair. “That sounds lovely. And any juice you can find.”

Daisy nodded and scurried away, happy to see that Y/N was eating. Her meals had been sparse the last handful of days and had taken to only drinking water. It would be good for her to have something in her stomach.

As the door closed, Y/N caught Daemon watching Daisy as she walked away and smiled despite her own melancholy. They would make a handsome match—and as Daisy was the fifth daughter of a Landed Knight, it wouldn’t be a preposterous one either. Perhaps she could speak to Daisy when she returned. But, for now, she rolled her shoulder and felt the pinch that came with disuse and the presence of new scarring. The blades she once sewed into her dresses and hid throughout her chambers had been hidden away at the bottom of her chest and covered with chemises and underclothes to keep any prying eyes from discovering them. She pulled two from the depths and carried through the familiar steps Ser Maegyr had taught her. One position into two and then the third and then back again, swinging and stabbing the blades through the air. “Aim for the eyes, the throat, and the upper thigh, My Lady. All men bleed.” 

Her shoulder continued to pinch and quickly ached as she persisted in her steps.

“Move fast and sure. Indecision will cost you your life.” 

She turned and did the steps across the floor, moving with each new pass. Thoughts trickled by as she tried to think of only Ser Maegyr and his training—but the thoughts came just the same. Of Tywin and his proposal. Of Ser Gregor and his threats. Of all the ways her family had been betrayed. Of Oberyn and Ellaria and their soft lips and beautiful words. She arced the blade in her left hand down and buried it into the soft wood of her vanity. The wood cracked and splintered as she yanked it out.

She hadn’t meant to do that.

A knock at her door had her stashing the blades beneath a pillow and throwing on a dark blue dressing gown over her chemise before she opened it just a crack to see who was there—it was just Daemon. His light eyes searched her face as it was revealed, worry coloring his features. “My Lady? Are you well?”

He must have heard the noise and thought something was amiss. “I am, Ser. I am sorry to have troubled you.”

His dimpled smile appeared and he ducked his head. “You are never any trouble, my lady.”

Before she closed the door, she briefly thought of asking Daemon of Oberyn and Ellaria’s whereabouts. Daemon had been knighted by Oberyn himself—and of course, there had been whispers that Oberyn then took the young knight to bed. And where Oberyn went, Ellaria always was. Could she ask him? But her proper manners reared their head and quieted her tongue. “You are far too kind, Ser. Daisy should be back soon with lemon cakes. Please, take some for you and your brother in arms.”

His smile widened. “Thank you, my lady. They’re my favorite. But are you sure Daisy will not mind?”

“If you ask nicely and say I gave you permission, I suppose she’d be agreeable. Your dimples can work wonders, I’m sure.”

A pretty pink filled his cheeks and she laughed for the first time in almost two weeks. She smiled at him and they said their goodbyes before she shut the door again and she picked up her blades and started to resume her steps. But then there was another knock at her door and she once again hid her blades away under her pillow. She smiled, thinking it was Daemon again or Daisy with the lemon cakes, but her face fell when Bernadette, Cersei’s handmaiden, stood in her doorway.

“My lady, the queen has requested your presence in her chambers.” Her dark eyes slid down Y/N’s hastily tied gown and chemise. “Shall I help you dress?”

“No. I can do it myself.” She closed the door and scowled before pulling open one of her chests and retrieving a simple, pale blue gown that tied at the sides instead of the back. She dressed before pushing her feet into soft-soled slippers. Y/N opened the door to see Bernadette eyeing Daemon and his counterpart with unmasked contempt and she stepped in front of them. “If you’re done eyeing my guards, you may escort me to Her Grace.”

Bernadette flushed and dipped her head. “Yes, my lady.”

The walk was tense and quiet and Bernadette’s heeled shoes slapped against the stone floor and the sound echoed through the halls, grating on Y/N’s last nerve. It was a strange relief to see Cersei’s apartment door.

Bernadette knocked and glanced at Y/N before opening it, “Lady Tully, Your Grace.”

Y/N cast one last look at Bernadette before stepping inside and making sure the maid stayed out in the hall.

“Sit,” Cersei said, pointing at the chair on the other side of her desk without looking up from the parchment and ink she was focused on.

Y/N did as she was told and watched Cersei write, scratching away at the parchment with a subdued flourish. It was a silly little power play. One she knew well. But she still knew how to play the dutiful loyalist and could sit still for hours while Cersei pretended to not see her.

After a few moments, Cersei set down her quill and looked Y/N over. “You are healing well.”

“Yes, Your Grace. The maester relieved me of my stitches this morning.”

Cersei hummed and sat back in her chair. “There has been such whispers about you, Lady Tully. You just cannot seem to stay out of harm’s way.” Cersei’s cold green eyes stared at her shoulder, knowing where she had been injured. “It seems being aligned with my family has given you scars.”

“Nothing that can’t be covered up, Your Grace. Scars fade with time.” 

“Indeed they do. But, you have been remiss in keeping your maids beside you. Wandering the halls like a servant, unaccompanied.”

“I only have Daisy, Your Grace. I found it more timely to have her run to the markets or the kitchens for me than to follow me around the Keep. I did the same at Riverrun. I have never cared to have a shadow.”

“But you care for the Dornish guards outside your door?” Cersei asked, head tilting just so.

Y/N offered an easy, sad smile. “Prince Oberyn insisted, Your Grace, after the…wedding.” She pressed as much false sadness into her tone and dipped her head. “I have tried to tell him it was not necessary—that the Keep is safe. But who am I to argue with a prince? And the one that helped save my life, at that. I’m sure they will depart soon. I am terribly sorry if they have caused a fuss for the Kingsguard.” 

“I would have them replaced. Two of the finest knights from the Westerlands outside your door.”

Another scheme, it seemed. Another move across the board. “That is a very kind offer. But I am afraid I must refuse. The finest knights should be guarding King Tommen, should they not? But I shall send the Dornish knights away today. It is not a matter to me.”

“His Grace has the King’s Guard.”

“Of course, but surely his protection is paramount to mine. Dontos-”

“Is dead, Lady Tully. Have you not seen his head on the spike at the gate?”

Y/N shook her head. “I’m afraid my injury has left me inside the Keep’s walls aside from the coronation and funeral. I’ve not had the opportunity to venture out otherwise.”

Cersei took a sip of her wine and arched a blonde eyebrow. “I offer you a great service, Lady Tully. And you refuse it. Father told me you tried to refuse sitting at our side at the wedding. Have we done something to insult you so?”

Cersei’s hidden meanings and loaded questions had not dulled with the death of Joffrey. If anything, Y/N saw that the queen had started to lean more heavily into thinly veiled insults or threats. A tired game, to be sure. “Of course not, Your Grace. Your family has been far kinder to me than I feel I deserve.”

“And you feel you are not right to marry my father?” Cersei asked point blank.

“I am not sure if I would be a worthy Lady of the Rock,” she said simply. “I am the only daughter born to a second son and a foreigner. One is dead. The other is a traitor. I am not quite the match a man of your father’s station should require.”

“And yet, he’s inclined to choose you still. Despite your…shortcomings.” Cersei almost smiled and took another drink of wine. “You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you?”

Y/N stayed silent, watching Cersei watch her over the rim of her chalice.

Cersei set down her chalice and steepled her fingers atop her desk. “I’m going to give you advice. The same advice I gave that bitch Sansa before she disappeared.” She leaned forward in her chair. “The more people you love, the weaker you are. You'll do things for them that you know you shouldn't do. You'll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe. Love no one but your children. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” 

“I do, Your Grace.” And she did. The advice was cruel but kind in equal measure, a way to survive the perils of marriage to man you could not love in any capacity. It was easy to see that bit of advice had seen Cersei through her marriage to Robert Baratheon. It was another crack in her armor.

Cersei nodded and sat back and took another gulp of wine. “It’s just as well, you know. Father loved Mother with a fierceness that can never be replicated.” The Queen Regent fixed her green gaze on the younger woman. “He will never love you. All the stories you’ve read in the dark of your rooms as a girl, of dashing knights and love, they do not exist.”

Y/N straightened her shoulders. “I never cared for fairytales or love stories, Your Grace.”

Cersei smirked. “And of what did you care to read?”

“War.”

Cersei pushed out a short laugh through her teeth. “Perhaps you are more suitable than you think, Little Lamb.”

A knock at the door broke the tightly wound atmosphere of the room and Bernadette stepped in. “Lady Olenna, Your Grace.”

Olenna then barged into the room and her dark eyes swept from Cersei to Y/N. “Ah, I was told you were here. I need to speak with you.”

Y/N turned to Cersei who had pursed her lips. Of course, seeming to look to the queen regent for guidance was just another way to masquerade as someone who cared about what she said. Cersei paused and then nodded.

“Come, Little Fish. I don’t have the virtue of time.”

Y/N sighed and rose and followed the Queen of Thorns back out into the hall after quickly curtseying. Bernadette started to follow when Olenna turned and eyed her up and down. “You can stay here.” Olenna looped her arm through Y/N’s. “We are perfectly capable of walking on our own. Thank you.”

The handmaiden essentially shriveled up into herself at that and curtseyed before retaking her place outside Cersei’s doors, red in the face. But all Y/N could see was the hulking mass of The Mountain now standing guard in the shadows. His dark eyes raked down her form as they had hundreds of times before and he actually licked his lips like a hungry dog. Thankfully, Olenna didn’t seem to notice or did not care and continued to pull Y/N along. Two Tyrell handmaidens followed several paces back.

“It is as if they don’t trust me,” Olenna said loudly.

Y/N wordlessly thanked her companion with a gentle squeeze to her arm and let the older woman lead her out of the Keep and into the godswood without much passing between them aside from trivial conversation about the preparations for the second royal wedding. As they were firmly planted within the shade and greenery of the godswood, Olenna pulled them both to a stop. The two handmaidens had stayed at the gate, surreptitiously turning their backs to give the two high-borns privacy and to keep others away.

“You are quite the challenge, aren’t you, Little Fish?” Olenna chuckled and they settled on the stone bench Y/N and Sansa used to favor. “Everyone thinks they want your loyalty. Everyone thinks they have it.” Olenna patted her hand. “You would have made a fine Lady of the Reach.”

“No longer wanting to marry me to Lord Willas? I’m almost insulted, Lady Olenna.”

Olenna chuckled. “The Lions have their games, we have ours. But, no, Little Fish. It seems as if you are not meant to be a Tyrell.”

“A shame. I have heard Highgarden smells much more pleasant than King’s Landing.” She bit back a sigh. “Why have you requested my presence? We no longer have anything to offer one another.”

A titter escaped Olenna’s lips. “Abandoning hope already? I must have mistaken you for a fighter.”

Y/N turned and tried not to glare. “Tywin Lannister has essentially proposed marriage. There is no fighting him. No other man in this damned city would dare stand against him.” But the anger she’d felt bubbling slipped out of her like a wave and left her sagging in her stone seat. “I’m going to be his broodmare and provide him with another heir and then I can only hope that my second son will become Lord Tully. My home in the clutches of lions. I’m almost tempted to leave it to the Freys. They’ll never hold it.” Y/N closed her eyes and sat straight to angle her face toward the sun, trying to feel its warmth instead of the turmoil in her stomach. “It’ll be besieged and seized over and over again until they abandon it. It will become a mess of rock and rubble in a handful of years.”

“Are you a witch, too? Such terrible visions you have, Little Fish.” The tone of her voice was as close to sympathetic as Y/N had ever heard it but she did not pull away from the sun. “But I, too, would rather see Highgarden in ruins than in the hands of the lions.”

Y/N nearly startled as Olenna gently touched her cheek. Her eyes opened to see Olenna smiling softly at her, a look she had thought reserved for Margaery. “You offer something very precious. In time, you will see.” She tapped Y/N’s cheek and then stood. “It seems you will make allies of us all.” Olenna paused and fished something from the pocket of her dress and handed it to Y/N. “For your scarring.”

It was a small, green jar about the size of her palm. Y/N twisted the top of the jar off and the scent of mint and roses hit her nose, filtering from the white paste carefully spooned into the jar’s depths. That was the closest thing she would get to an apology for being maimed.

“Let us get you back to your rooms. You need your rest.”

Y/N stood and let Olenna once again wrap an arm around hers and they walked back into the cold shadows of the Keep. As they neared her chamber door, Y/N noticed that only one guard was standing sentry—and her door was ajar. The guard’s eyes widened just a fraction as she neared with Olenna at her side. Y/N arched an eyebrow as she stepped from Olenna’s hold and pushed the door open completely, letting the hinges squeal.

Daemon and Daisy were half dressed on the silk rug beside her bed, obviously in a heated embrace. Crumbs of lemon cakes and droplets of juice littered the rug as they continued to kiss and tug and haphazardly try to get each other’s clothes off.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Olenna said, fighting a smirk as she peered into the room. Her handmaidens were on their tip toes behind her, trying to steal a look, too. She waved them back and patted the remaining, fully dressed, guard on the shoulder before the door closed.

Even then Daemon and Daisy did not separate.

Y/N tilted her head to the side as she watched them, half amused that they hadn’t noticed her, half heated at the sounds they pulled from each other. Little gasps, muffled moans, as hands slid across skin and slipped under armor and cloth. It took Y/N a moment to gather herself before clearing her throat.

That was what finally did it.

Daisy’s eyes opened and she gasped and shoved Daemon off of her and he flopped onto the stone with a slap. She shot to her feet and curtseyed, “My lady.”

Daemon was slower to rise, a smirk already pulling at his lips as he bowed, uncaring of his bare chest or half-tied breeches. “Lady Tully.”

Y/N reached out and righted the strap of Daisy’s chemise. “Did you at least save me some lemon cakes?”

Daisy’s shoulders dropped. “No, my lady.”

Y/N turned to Daemon before bending and grabbing his tunic from the rug and handing it to him. “When I said to ask her if she’d share lemon cakes, this isn’t quite what I had in mind, Ser Daemon.”

He pulled the tunic on and then reached for his outer robe which had been rolled into a ball near her vanity, as if it had been shucked off in haste and then forgotten. “She is a master negotiator, my lady.”

Daisy looked like she was trying to scowl but a giggle slipped out instead. “I am so sorry.”

“You both are very lucky no one else noticed your indiscretions. Will you be a bit more cautious in the future?”

“Will there be a future?” Daemon asked softly as he looked to Daisy, eyes open and hopeful as his small smile pushed his dimples to full display.

Y/N felt the urge to look away and she was thankful she did as she heard Daisy whisper, “perhaps, Ser.”

Both of them redressed as Y/N settled on the soft blankets of her bed, a little selfishly happy that they hadn’t used her bed. The pair avoided eye contact with each other (and Y/N) before Daemon slipped out. It was quiet for a beat and then two.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

“My lady, I am so sorry-”

“You deserve to be happy, Daisy. I’ve told you that. If Ser Daemon makes you happy, I am pleased.” She reached out and touched Daisy’s hand with a smile and fought the urge to tease. “But please, take care to be a bit more discreet next time.”

Daisy’s blush continued and she nodded. “Of course, my lady.”

                                                       **

The ceremony came and went and Y/N felt her cheeks hurting with how long she had to press a fake smile to her lips. Kevan Lannister and his wife were once again at her side during the ceremony and Lady Dorna had taken it upon herself to link arms with Y/N as the group walked from the Sept of Baelor toward the Keep for the festivities. Dorna prattled on about her life in Lannisport and Y/N managed to interject a time or two to make it seem like she was listening but she begged off as they reached the grounds.

“I must admit I’ve worn the wrong shoes, my lady. If I am to dance, I must change them.”

“Oh, you must!” Dorna agreed. “But do not be absent too long. Your presence shall be missed.”

Y/N smiled again, teeth near rotting, and hurried away. But she did not stop at her chambers. Did not stop at the Holdfast. She raced as fast as she could to the top of the west turret and only drew in a full breath as she touched the rusted railing and the door slapped shut behind her.

Sleep had evaded her the night before. Every time she shut her eyes, she saw Tywin’s face, Gregor’s face, Cersei’s face. All of them snarling and slobbering and growing pointed teeth to devour her whole. The fleeting happiness she had found in teasing Daisy or Daemon for their newfound fondness for each other was short lived when she realized that she would never be held like that, kissed like that. The Prince of Dorne and his Paramour had not looked at her as they walked by when the ceremony was over. Ellaria’s arm had been tucked into Oberyn’s and they spoke softly to one another as Y/N craned her neck to try to get them to notice her. They didn’t.

And as much as she had said that she had not cared for stories of romance or fairytales, she did. She had wanted what her mother and father had: an all-consuming, passionate type of love that stretched into the grave.

It had been a childish dream to think she had tasted it on the tongues of the Dornish couple. She realized that now. All she had been was a game to pass the time. Surely that was all she had been. A childish game.

And it had been childish to run up here, thinking the air and wind could ease the pain in her chest or the slow constriction she felt about her throat. All it did was give her a view of the city she hated and a small reprieve from the stench.

“Lady Tully.”

She turned at the sound of the voice and was surprised to see Jaime Lannister standing near the door leading down into the Keep. The wind caught his white Kingsguard cloak and it fluttered in the wind, giving him the appearance of some roguish prince. His golden hand glinted in the sunlight. “Ser Jaime.” She dipped her head. “I thought His Grace would have you at his side.”

“It is for His Grace that I am here. King Tommen has asked where you were.”

Sweet Tommen. And the small smile the knight gave her reminded her of the smiles the prince, now king, had happily shared at Joffrey’s wedding. “I just needed a moment, Ser. Just a moment.” There was no chance she was going to start confiding in the Kingslayer—even if there had been rumors he’d been much changed since his captivity and the loss of his hand. He was still a Lannister. 

And it was because of his refusal to leave the Kingsguard that she had even come into this position.

A future at Casterly Rock. Unloved and used for the prize between her legs.

“You are standing close to the edge, my lady.” There was actual concern in his voice. How preposterous!

“I would not give anyone the satisfaction of throwing myself off a turret. And I would not spoil another royal wedding. Air, Ser, is all I needed. Away from…this.”

“Then I shall stand here until you are ready.”

And it was said with such soft conviction and that damned concern that it snapped in her chest. Maybe she should throw herself from this turret and be done with her warring emotions and the frivolity of wanting to be loved or thinking she could make a smidge of difference in this wretched world. To end it before it began. It would be a hollow victory, to be sure. She’d rob Tywin of another wife for a moment but he would find another. The Freys would hold Riverrun for a time but it would be destroyed and returned to the mud from whence it came as the riverlands devolved into infighting. The Crown would have to deal with that, again. But she would not see it happen. And Sansa would still be alone in Dorne, without an outside ally.

She was crying in earnest before she could stop it and the metal groaned under her tightening grip. Y/N heaved under the weight of it all. How stupid she had been. How optimistic. The only good thing she had done was save Sansa.

And, as she looked up into the clear, blue sky, she knew that had to be enough.  

Y/N sucked in a breath and calmed her tears, wiping the salt away from her skin with the dark blue cloth of her bell sleeves. The wind dried the rest. She took a calming breath, then another, before turning and looking at Jaime. “Shall you be my escort to the festivities, Ser?”

He looked like he wanted to say something, mouth open and expectant, but he closed it and nodded. “Yes, my lady.” He held out his arm for her and she took it and let him lead her back into the fray.

“I would…I would prefer if no one else knew of what transpired on the turret, Ser.”

“No one will.”

She nodded, almost believing him, as they entered the grounds. Once again, it was awash with Lannister red and gold and filled with food and people and entertainers. The famed knight led her through the throngs of people and toward the head tables reserved for the Tyrells and Lannisters and her stomach sunk at the sight of the empty chair at Tywin’s side. The smirk on the old lion’s face when he saw her only confirmed it: she would be sitting beside him.

“My son, you are kind to deliver Lady Tully to us.”

“I needed to change shoes if I was to dance, My Lord.” She smiled. “I apologize for my absence.”

“Think nothing of it, my lady.” Tywin stood from his seat. “If you would join me.” He held out a hand toward her as he reached her side.

And she left Jaime’s hold and slid into Tywin’s without blinking. There would be no fight. “Thank you, Ser Jaime. For escorting me.”

Jaime dipped his head and glanced at his father before standing beside the other members of the Kingsguard, hand over his sword’s hilt.

Tywin wordlessly led her out into the couples already dancing and pulled her close as he began the steps. The familiar scent of leather and clove swept under her nose and it took a concentrated effort not to wrinkle her face in an attempt to get away from the smell.

“Cersei has said you refuse to send your Dornish guards away.” The tone was reminiscent of Hoster scolding her as a girl when she would not eat the fish on her plate for supper.

“I only thought it polite.” Thankfully, the steps of the dance were easy and the turns kept giving her opportunity to slip from his grip, if even more a moment.

“Yes, you seem very polite with Prince Oberyn.”

“He saved my life, my lord. I would not repay his kindness with enmity.”

Tywin pushed out a long breath through his nose as he stepped back to let her turn under his arm. “You are overly concerned with politeness.” 

“It is a woman’s duty to make sure guests are respected and cared for. Prince Oberyn has a seat on the Small Council and is a renowned warrior, I would not deem myself above him in any circumstance. If he feels the need to put guards at my door, it would be rude to refuse him, would it not?”

Tywin’s thin lips pulled into a smile and she had never been so terrified. “A fine lady you are, Lady Tully.” The dance ended and they clapped but Tywin did not move from her side. “But Prince Oberyn has said he will no longer fill Dorne’s seat at the Small Council. He leaves in three days’ time to return to Sunspear. He has promised another will be elected to fill the seat.”

Tywin did not care if House Martell filled the Dornish seat on the Small Council. She knew it. He thought he had won the game against Oberyn and his quest for vengeance against the Lannisters and the Mountain. Perhaps she did not know Oberyn as well as she thought. But how well did she, could she, have known him? What were a handful of conversations and stolen kisses?

Nothing. They were nothing. And something cold and broken settled in her bones then. They were leaving. Even if they had not spoken to her in weeks, she still felt the news like a slap to the face. And perhaps that is what it was. She was tossed aside in the end, a sad little thing to be scooped up into the paw of a lion.

After another dance, Tywin excused himself to speak with Mace Tyrell and Y/N curtseyed as he left her side, thankful to see Margaery waving her over. It was an easier distraction, the fake smile was almost real. Tommen was smiling beside his new queen and their hands were clasped together, nearly hidden under the table cloth.

“It is good to see you well, my lady,” Margaery said.

“I am happy to be able to fully enjoy the festivities, Your Grace.” She turned to Tommen. “And you look happy in married life.”

Tommen’s cheeks pinked and he looked at Margaery who smiled sweetly at him. “I am. The Seven have blessed me with a fine wife.” His blush only grew as Margaery pulled their clasped hands up and pressed a kiss to his hand.

“You must ask your fine wife to dance then, Your Grace. Keep her happy.” Y/N winked as Tommen paused and then scrambled to his feet and held out his hand for Margaery to take. She did with a wide smile and the crowd parted for them as they made their way closer to the bard and minstrels. Y/N watched them dance, Margaery smiling as she coached Tommen through the steps. They were a pretty picture.

Tyrion stepped to her side and handed her a full chalice of wine. Y/N took it with a soft ‘thank you, my lord,’ and quickly drained its entirety. “You are not well, Lady Tully?” He took the chalice from her and signaled for it to be filled again as he led her closer to his table at the far end of the raise dais and away from some of the crowd.

“I’m waiting to be shot again, my lord. The last wedding I attended was much bloodier.”

Tyrion’s brow furrowed. “You are safe here,” he murmured.

“Is anyone truly safe anywhere?” She took the refilled chalice and took her time sipping on the burgundy liquid as she turned to look out over the crowds, half-hoping to see the Dornish prince and his paramour. She took a hearty gulp when she didn’t see them, in relief or sadness, she did not know. “But my feelings should not spoil your fun, Lord Tyrion. I thank you for the wine.”

Just as his brother did before, Tyrion looked as if he had more to say. But he didn’t and dipped his head. “I am at your service, Lady Tully.”

The rest of the festivities slipped by. Tyrion danced with her twice and then Kevan Lannister asked for a turn, too. Margaery pulled her from her seat when the minstrels played a tune and called for a dance for only the women to enjoy. She ate roasted boar and honey-coated carrots and drank wine and smiled when she needed but kept quiet in her seat for most of it. Tywin did not offer any conversation and she glad for it. Simply sitting beside him was exhausting. It was as if she was constantly waiting for him to do something, say something. But, as the sun started to set and painted the grounds a soft pink, a knight from the Westerlands approached their table and whispered something into the Hand’s ear.

Tywin’s lips pulled into a thin line and he stood. “Excuse me.”

Y/N watched him go and briefly wondered what had caused him to leave so abruptly. But soon calls for the bedding filled the air and Margaery and Tommen were carried away by a riotous crowd and the festivities were quickly devolving into more lecherous frivolity as they usually did at weddings—the dances were closer, the music faster and heady. Wine was gulped and kisses stolen as the shadows grew darker. Y/N let herself enjoy being a voyeur for a moment and waited until the sky was a beautiful, deep purple before she excused herself. Daisy was waiting for her near the gates to the grounds and they quietly walked back into the Keep, both tired for different reasons. They spoke softly of their time at the festivities, vastly different experiences glaringly apparent. Y/N thought Daisy must have managed to sneak away with Daemon by the blush still touching her cheeks.

They rounded the corner toward her chambers and froze as they watched servants carrying her belongings out of her room. “What are you doing?” She reached out and pulled a dress from a bundle in a girl’s arms. “Where are you taking my things?”

“Lord Tywin has said your rooms are to be moved to the Tower of the Hand.”

“No!” Y/N barked out, pulling more and more of her belongings out of the strangers’ arms and Daisy quickly followed suit. “I have not accepted this move. You cannot just take-”

“Of course they can. I ordered them to do so.”

Y/N spun to face Tywin, clutching her chemises and dresses to her chest like armor. “You overstep, My Lord. I have not accepted your proposal. It would be indecent of you to put me in such a position.”

“Accept my proposal and it would not be indecent.”

“I must have time to think.” She hated how weak she sounded, how desperate. “I have to speak with the Grand Septon, for guidance and prayer before I can make such a decision.” She didn’t and she never would but she hoped playing to his sense of chivalry, no matter how skewed it had become, may work in her favor. She felt her arms starting to shake with how tightly she was holding her mess of fabric to her chest. It felt like there was a hand over her throat, squeezing the air from her lungs as she stared at him.

Tywin stared at her, eyes hard. Then, he held up a hand and the flurry of movement ceased. “Bring Lady Tully’s belongings back to her original room.” There was a murmur of acknowledgment and she watched as they filed back into her room, like a group of soldiers from the corner of her eye. But she did not take her gaze away from Tywin as he stepped closer. “This will be the only time you defy me.” He then stepped away and disappeared into the shadows.

It wasn’t until Y/N was alone in her room with a chair against the locked door, did she collapse, struggling to pull in air as she wept into her blankets. Daisy had quietly left after helping her to refold her dresses and chemises and placing them back in her chests. Y/N curled into a ball on her featherbed and tried to remember something Oberyn and Tywin and Cersei couldn’t touch. Everything was slipping from her grasp.

“Let me be your champion!” Jon’s voice echoed, followed by Robb, “I am your Dragonknight!”

But where were her Dragonknights now? Dead or wearing a cloak of black. She had no knights. Not anymore.

“You must be your own knight,” she whispered into her pillow. But she knew she wasn’t a knight. She was a fish out of water. Surrounded by lions.

A/N: The next chapter will probably be up some time this weekend. Please let me know what you think! 

Beautiful people who asked to be tagged: @roxypeanut​ @lostinwonderland314​ @fandomreblogsnoshame

[rantceratops]

Just gonna get some of my Little Nightmares 2 thoughts out and under a spoiler tag. Need to get it out of my system. SPOILERS BELOW CUT.

First, a Fun Fact: I went into Little Nightmares 2 fully expecting Mono to die. Yet I still got attached to him. I was expecting him to die, but I was NOT expecting him to get the fate that he did. I knew that Six was a morally questionable character from the first game, but tbh it never crossed my mind that she’d be responsible for his demise. At least, not until the bridge collapsed between Mono and Six in the Signal Tower. I immediately knew that either Mono was going down with the bridge, or that Six would drop him. But it still hurt like a bitch.

1) My least favorite theory is one of the more popular ones I keep seeing, which is that the Secret Ending somehow proves that Six dropped Mono because she “knew she was just going to eat him anyway”, so she dropped him to “save” him from herself.

This one is a big NO from me. That is not at all what I gathered from the Secret Ending. First of all, I’m not sure in what universe that dropping your friend into a flesh void to rot in hatred and betrayal for decades is somehow “saving” them, even if you were planning to cannibalize them. If you really wanted to “save” them, pull them up and then just run away from them or tell them to stay away from you, etc.

Secondly, it was clear that Six’s stomach growling at the end of the Secret Ending was meant to be the FIRST time she ever felt the Hunger. Six goes the entirety of Little Nightmares 2 without once feeling the Hunger, whereas in the first game she seems to barely be able to go a couple hours (or in game terms, she can’t go a single chapter without it happening) without having to eat, so I highly doubt she could go the entire second game without eating.

This theory is just not sound to me, and I refuse to subscribe to it. I obviously like to hear most theories because it’s always interesting, but this one straight up makes me roll my eyes every single time I read it.

2) I also don’t much like the theory that because Six saw Mono without his paper bag on for the first time when holding him on the edge, she was able to study his face for several seconds and realized that he was the Thin Man. Unfortunately, I as much as I don’t like the idea of this, I can’t exactly debunk it, as Six does indeed spend several seconds just holding him there for some reason or other. Whether it was in pure indecision, or pure malice as she relished his helpless state before she dropped him(I hope not), or whether she was absorbing his power to leave through the TV*, or whether it was in fact because she was somehow able to put two and two together... idk.

My main issue is that Mono and Six are like 9 years-old, how could she look at a 9 year-olds face and tell that it matched a man that appears to be in his 40s? Just seems a bit far-fetched. But again, as much as I’d like to, I cannot debunk this one.

*This is something that confuses me. Six was able to leave through the TV, but Six was never able to travel through TVs. That was Mono and the Thin Man’s power. Six was not there for the defeat of the Thin Man and so couldn’t have taken his powers, so was she absorbing Mono’s powers before she dropped him? Usually she seems to need to eat her victims to gain their powers. The lack of visual cue that she’s taking his power is also strange. I’m starting to think it was just a weird oversight on the Devs part. There is no logical reason Six should have been able to leave the Tower unless she somehow stole Mono’s powers. (earlier in the game we even see Six pressing against a TV trying to escape from the Thin Man, but she cannot, and it’s not until Mono reaches in and grabs her hands that she is able to start phasing through.

3) Mono = Thin Man = Hanging Man is also a strange theory. Though there is a certain uncanny resemblance with not only the door with the eye on it and the chair, but the pants and shoes and long-limbedness of the Hanged Man himself. However, as far as I recall there are several doors with eyes on The Maw(correct me if I’m wrong please!), so I don’t really consider the door that big of a deal unless I’m wrong. Eyes are kind of a big motif in these games.

My biggest question with this theory is why or how would Mono be on The Maw? How did he get there? Why was he there? Which version of Mono is this? I have so many fucking questions with this one it’s not funny.

4) Time-loop theory is the most popular. I’m on the fence. There is evidence to support it’s a Time-loop, but my initial reaction to the ending was that Mono was replacing the Thin Man, not that he was the Thin Man the entire time. I largely just accept Time-loop as it does seem more likely at this point... I’m not sure how Mono being a replacement would change the narrative... hrm.

5) I really just want Mono to be okay. :’(

6) I already reblogged another post and ranted about this but: People are overthinking why Six dropped Mono. There are one of two reasons that she dropped him, and imo it’s not hard to pick up on.

Reason One (Least Likely): Six was perhaps using Mono the entire time, and simply decided to drop him at the end once he’d served his purpose. To me, this seems less likely of the two, even though Six can be very selfish and sadistic, this just doesn’t add up to me. If this one is true, then the question becomes what was Six’s goal? What was her purpose, and what means to what end did Mono serve? Because imo I am not seeing a dark purpose here with Six... which leads me to the second and more likely reason Six dropped Mono--

Reason Two (Far More Likely): Six felt betrayed by Mono. This was my FIRST thought when I realized Six was going to drop Mono. My immediate thought was that it was out of pure spite from Mono not helping her when the Thin Man grabbed her. To me this is so painfully obviously her motive.

Six and Mono spend the majority of the game helping each other; opening doors, boosting each other, catching each other across gaps. There are so many times Six could have been selfish and left Mono to his fate, but she didn’t. She pulls him out of the TV again and again because she knows something is wrong.

Mono saves Six so many times; she gets captured or separated from him and every single time without fail, Mono comes back for her, he does everything in his power to save her. When Mono finally unintentionally lets the Thin Man lose, Six tries to get Mono to run with her. She stays next to him trying her damnedest to get him to grab her hand and run with her, before she runs off alone because Mono isn’t listening to her. Then, she trips and reaches out for Mono, but Mono is scared and cowering under the bed and does not grab Six in her most vital, vulnerable moment.

Six sees this as a betrayal of trust. Despite the fact that if Mono had come out to help her they might have likely both been caught, and despite the fact that the Thin Man’s presence generally seems to hurt and slow down Mono, and despite the fact that Mono STILL comes after her to save her. Mono tries to pull Six out through the TV, and even after he defeats the Thin Man, he goes to the Signal Tower to save her. He NEVER EVER gave up on her.

But for Six that obviously wasn’t good enough. Mono, however unfairly, lost her faith when he didn’t grab her hand in that room. And to add icing on that cake, Monster Six tries to let Mono play with her music box because she obviously has some memory that she trusted and liked him, and then he smashes it with a hammer. In her twisted state, that was another heinous betrayal stacked on top of the previous one, and I think even after she was reverted back to normal the resentment of Mono smashing her music box remained. Six began to see Mono as the cause for all her problems and a betrayer at that. Regardless of whether the theory that she also saw in his face that he was Thin Man before she dropped him, I still very much think the main catalyst here was the perceived trust betrayal.

Mono never really did anything wrong; in fact, he did everything right, but in the end he still got his undeserved fate.

There is no world or theory which makes Six dropping Mono justified in my eyes, but it is interesting to see how things got all twisted and dark for her to the point that she felt dropping him was in her interest.

I’ve never hated Six, but I’ve also never been fond of Six even before LN2. But I do honestly hate her in that moment that she lets go of Mono. It was fucked up. It was disgusting to be frank. Mono got one of the most horrible fates I’ve ever witnessed such a pure-hearted character get. It was fucking heartbreaking, I get sad all over again just listening to End of the Hall on the soundtrack and remembering the scene and what happened to him.

I teeter back and forth on whether or not Six is even meant to be a true protag or not. She certainly feels rather anti-hero. I also sometimes can’t decide whether she truly did care about Mono or not, but I do feel like there’s a lot of evidence pointing to the fact that she did at some point.

IDK. All I know is Mono was just a good boy and I really wish he could somehow get a happy ending at the end of all this. T_T

[kylermalloy]

What is(are) your fave Haylijah moment(s)?

Christina! Oh, girl. When I saw this ask, I had two reactions to it:

Indecisive me: why such a hard question? I am incapable of picking favorites! 😫

Evil me: Aha! You’ve fallen right into my trap. Now I can talk for HOURS about Haylijah and no one can stop me! 😈

Since I can’t pick favorites, here’s a long list, in some sort of order, of my fave Haylijah moments. Strap in, don’t hold your breath, and get ready for a long ramble. 😊

Inherent spoilers for TO ahead!

All their scenes in 4x03

This is as close as we get to Haylijah as a happy couple. They’ve had a five-year timeout, and they might have been a little cautious around each other, especially since Hayley’s world has changed so much since the last time they were together. But for this episode at least, they fit right back together perfectly.

Elijah listens to her worries, her musings about the past five years. And I like his line about her not having a Mikaelson heart. Even though I know this line is there to ultimately break them apart, I still like the sentiment. Hayley is an honorary Mikaelson—she’s part of the family, but she’s also not. She’s set apart from them in a way. This is a continual theme between Hayley and Elijah—he constantly elevates her, venerates her. Hayley’s not perfect, but the sentiment again is sweet. And very Elijah.

Their first meeting in 1x01

This one is just funny to me. Purely physical. When they meet for the first time, Hayley is a few months pregnant, Elijah is tasked with catching her up to speed on the millennium of Mikaelson family drama.

So he has to invade her personal space and give her a rather intimate recap. Basically, I imagine Elijah’s thoughts in this scene to be: I’m gonna be an uncle!must...touch...pretty...girl.

Okay, there’s a lot more to it than that but I am first and foremost a shoddy comedian. Hence the shoddy joke. Moving on.

The sex scene in 2x09

I generally prefer the soft fluffy moments to the sexy moments, but this one is just...

It’s very sexy. x

On a more analytical note, this is like a goodbye for them. Hayley’s about to make a huge personal sacrifice, and whatever she feels about Jackson, she has strong feelings about Elijah, too. This is her confronting and releasing those feelings all in one fell swoop.

x

They’ve clearly been wanting to do this for a while, but life and death and angst kept getting in the way. This? This might be their only chance. And boy, do they take it.

(I’m not sorry.) x

The hug in 1x09

x

I love their hugs. This one is very special to me, and I included a gif to show everybody—look at the vulnerability! Look at the way she holds her arms out for him, ducking her head shyly. Hayley’s not shy. Why is she so soft here?

Let’s review—here, Klaus is at his most despotic. He’s taken over Marcel’s vampires, dragged Hayley to the compound, and ordered the wolves in the bayou to be killed. (yes, yes, he has reasons for doing so, but Hayley doesn’t know—or care) Elijah has gone against Klaus to protect the wolves at Hayley’s request—even when he told Hayley just one episode ago he had to choose Klaus over everyone. Hayley desperately needs an ally, and here’s Elijah with his pretentious overcoat and soft little smile. I’d hug him too.

The end scene in 3x11

x

I want to clarify, I don’t really see this as a romantic scene. But it still blows me away—there’s a depth to it, an understanding between the two of them.

First of all, Phoebe’s acting here is heartbreaking. She’s finally allowing herself to break down about Jackson, who died just for loving her. Because she couldn’t protect him. Because he was close to her—and ended up in the way.

Loving any of us is a death sentence. I think this is the first time Hayley’s truly understood Elijah’s hesitance in season 1. She doesn’t say it outright, but now she’s the one choosing the dead over the living. Now she understands what it’s like to have innocent blood on your hands—even if you didn’t put it there. This is the cost of being a Mikaelson.

Elijah hasn’t come to rekindle their relationship, to undermine her grief, or to make any kind of proposition. He has no expectations; he’s simply there to listen and be there for her.

The pool scene in 1x06

x

There’s nothing more appealing than one half of the otp caring for the other half when they’re sick. As an added bonus, they’re both wet and he’s holding her. I am a simple woman with simple needs.

Sick!Elijah in 1x08

x

I’m a sucker for this trope, okay? This time it’s Elijah who’s sick, and Hayley—instead of investigating the wolves literally right outside the door—stays with him.

This is Elijah at his most undignified, and oddly enough I think it’s a draw for Hayley. She’s not the nursemaid type (she spends the entire season telling us what she’s not) but this is a chance to care for him the way he’s cared for her. He means something to her, and this is one of the first times she gets to express that. It’s soft and sweet and I’m weak.

The end scenes in 1x22

Logically, this should’ve been the turning point for these two. While Klaus leaves with a newborn Hope, Hayley and Elijah stay behind to sell their grief. The tiny scene of them going out in public, coming to the vigil to pay their respects? Hurts.

That alone warrants a place on my favorites list. But I’ll always be bitter that the little scene between them (after that?) was cut, where she expresses concern over what she’s become. And he assures her he’ll be there to help her through whatever comes next. And then she feeds on him. O.O

The car scene in 1x08

Okay, so I am painfully slow on the uptake, and this was legitimately the first scene where I picked up on their romantic tension. Granted, this is the first scene where Hayley implies that she actually sees Elijah in that way—the mental block of “she banged his brother” kept me from seeing it before. But it’s there—she’s interested, she’s seen his tragic past, and she wants to hold his hand.

x

This Pride-and-Prejudice-esque hand hold! Elijah straight up tells her that they shouldn’t pursue a relationship—because he fears for her safety. And then he proceeds to squeeze her fingers with as much graceful repression as a slut like Daniel Gillies can manage. These two will be the death of me, I swear.

Their goodbye in 3x22

This entire episode just bleeds angst. It begins with Hayley and Elijah in bed together, finally having begun their relationship anew. They’re happy, so of course per TO regulations, it cannot last. Elijah is bitten and will either die or be put to sleep in a day. Hayley’s time with him, as always, is painfully short.

He hides his pain from the poison well, brushing off Hayley’s concern, even coming to help hold Kol down when the two of them were bitten just seconds apart. But when she comes to him, hesitating at the door of the bedroom where he’s hidden himself from her, he tells her what he wants for her. And the venom has caused him to think their happiness together was just a dream. My heart.

The forehead kiss in 1x15

This isn’t a big explosive moment in their relationship—pivotal, in a way, but not hugely dramatic or developmental. I have to put a gif of this one, because—

x

just look at them. This is one of their several near-kisses in s1. It’s graceful, sensual, and almost as erotic as a full-on makeout session. It melts me.

Not to mention, this is kind of an angsty moment between them—Elijah has chosen to let Hayley cure her wolf family, which will, according to Celeste, rip her away from him and his family for good. He knows this, and he doesn’t care. He gives her the cure freely, with a smile. He doesn’t just want her, not unless she wants him back. Like he says just a few episodes later, “what I want...is for that girl to be happy.” That’s his endgame. That’s what he wants out of this. That’s why he steps out of the way for Jackson—Hayley tells him it’ll make her happy. That’s why he steps away in season 4–he thinks she’ll be happier that way. Except they totally reconciled, because that’s what would make ME happy.

And that’s why none of season 5 Haylijah exists for me! Even the cute flashback of them in France. None of it happened.

And those are my favorite Haylijah moments! Thanks for asking this, Christina—I had a lot of fun revisiting the show and these moments! Now I’m curious—what are your favorite moments?

[forehead-enthusiast]

A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)

tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah

tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)

One:

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu

Two:

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine? ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss

2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed) one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now

3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing? oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me

4. what is your comfort food? am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo

5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive? i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,

6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book? i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy) 

7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be? ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!

8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed? funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.

9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean? oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing

10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?

my questions:

what is your go-to feel good movie?

are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?

do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?

what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)

do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?

what do you do to unwind?

what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)

what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?

what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?

do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people. 

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better! 

PERSONAL

name: sarah

nickname: bells

birthday: april 17th

zodiac: aries

nationality: chinese american

languages: english, some spanish, some korean

gender: female

sexuality: baby bi bi bi~

height: 5′10

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops

meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.

blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think

followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol

FAVORITES

favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins

favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD

favourite colour: pink and purple!!

favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)

favourite flower: sunflower

favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria

favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly

cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate

current time: 5:29pm

dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?

dream job: actress

hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics

hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?

last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)

last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9

no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2

random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength

SIX

10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

love me 4 me- rina sawayama

cherry- rina sawayama

in & out- red velvet

crush culture- conan gray

manic- conan gray

the king- conan gray

summer- pentagon

told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)

fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama

someone who loves me- sara bareilles

[toloveawarlord]

can you tell us a bit about your ikevamp ocs?

*crackles knuckles* Alright, but hear me out. I have currently 15 ocs (13 of them being children but is anyone surprised?) I will certainly be creating suitor specific ocs, but those typically come knocking at my door whenever I am playing a route so it’ll be a few days before I get any of those. 

This is gonna be long so strap yourselves in fam.

I’ll start off with the first OC that I wanted created and that is *drum roll*

1. Amelia Earhart! 

I wanted to have at least one oc that is history based like the rest of the bitey boys, and through my research, I settled on her. Or rather, she flew her airplane right into my oc pile and said “pick me! pick me! I am amazing!” and thus she was the first oc for Ikevamp. 

Amelia or “Melia” as she goes by at the bar she owns in town, was plucked from her time by the Count after her final flight when she disappeared from time itself. In this story, she crashed at her destination but was seriously injured. The Count turned her into a vampire and then took her back to the mansion

I won’t spoil too much or there won’t a reason to write the story, but she ends up moving out of the mansion some time later and opens her own bar, which Arthur frequents as she assists him in finding women who won’t cause a fuss if he drinks their blood. Why did she leave the mansion? Guess I’ll have to write that story soon. 

2. Alara Bayar 

I’m a sucker for kids ending up in the care of the suitors, so I have my little baby Alara. Originally hailing from Turkey, her mother was forced into a marriage with a French noble and Alara came with the two to France. Her step-father barely acknowledges her, and is very cruel to the two. She witnesses an argument that ends in her mother’s death. Attempting to escape her feral step-father, she runs away and finds herself at the mansion late at night. Long story short, they vampire boys take her in as their own child. She was 6 years old when they met her and she has just turned 16 at the present of the game.

And now to get into the kids. Unlike my Ikerev Kids, I’m not planning on doing an origin toddler story for this bunch. I don’t want to run it into the ground. So instead, I’m going to focus on them as teenagers and have some one-shots of them from their toddler days or maybe do some headcannons about them. It’s up in the air at the moment.

Vanessa “Nessa” Bonaparte 

As a child: Generally a happy and good “sister” to the other kids. She typically followed the rules and doesn’t argue with her dad or “Grandpa Count” when asked to do something. 

As a Teenager: Loves swordplay more than any other hobby, sparring and training with her dad is her favorite thing. Attends a public Academy for school and is considered a social butterfly. She has plenty of human friends and cares for them deeply, despite knowing that once high school ends, that she will have to cut them off.

Lyric Mozart (Twin)

As a child: Intimidated by his father’s brilliance and cold nature, he struggled to learn to play the piano. He played the best when doing duets with his twin sister. Began violin lessons at the age of 8. Timid and soft-spoken, he was often left out of play because of his indecisiveness.

As a teenager- Prince Charming, according to his classmates. He solely plays the violin now, accompanying his sister as she plays the piano. He won as President of the Student Council as a second year student at the Academy. He is kind and thoughtful of his fellow students, but keeps the humans at arms length, afraid of rejection because of him being a vampire.

Aria Mozart (Twin)

As a child- Innate talent with the piano, reading musical composition was easy for her, but she struggled to play with how small her hands were. Much more outgoing than her brother, dragging him along with her when playing with the other kids. Vies for her father’s approval more than her twin.

As a teenager- More introverted and focused on her craft. She has a strained relationship with her father, feeling inferior to his skill and pours her energy into catching up with him. Tends to be a loner at school, spending most of her time in the music room, practicing. She struggles with her own identity as a musician.

Emery Newton

As a child- Overly curious and sneaky in nature. She blamed any and all accidents that happened in the mansion on Vanessa, knowing that if she played the cute and innocent card that she would not get in trouble. This only fueled her behavior to play pranks and cause mischief in the home.

As a teenager- Currently suspended from the academy for blowing up the science laboratory. She did it to spite the teacher who she claims is ill-qualified to teach them. She is currently studying along side her father, preferring this to school as she finds school dull and boring. Skips class often whenever she does attend.

Owen Da Vinci 

As a child- Ring leader of the kids. If they all played together, he made the rules and was the only one who could change them. Hated losing and would bend the rules so that he could win. Could be a bit of a bully if things weren’t going his way.

As a teenager- Exudes charm and is always surrounded by both girls and boys. He competes in horse races and is the captain of the school team. He drinks the blood of some of his classmates but uses a drug to put them into a fog so that they don’t remember. 

Alaina Conan Doyle 

As a child - Cried all the time for attention. Thick as thieves with Emery. The two were practically inseperable.The biggest troublemaker of the girls. Even as child, her blood lust was hard to control. She couldn’t enter a public school until high school. Her thirst was easy to quench as a child, since she couldn’t drink that much blood. 

As a teenager- Attends the academy but has to take a bottle of blood with her to sip on throughout the day. she calls them her smoothies to help with a “health condition”. In her first year of school, she killed a classmate by accident and was nearly banned from returning. Loves to play around with humans, especially timid boys. She cuts them to drink the blood without biting. 

Clarisse Van Gogh

As a child- Pure flower child. She loved being outdoors and in nature. She would often get lost in the forest chasing after a butterfly and would have to constantly be watched when outside. She likes to play with her dad’s paints and would rather spend time with him than playing games with the other kids. 

As a teenager- Still a pure bean. Her classmates refer to her as an airhead and gullible. She makes good marks in class but is typically doodling or daydreaming during lessons. She is willing to help anyone out no matter how busy she is. Paints a lot of abstract things, simply adding color and strokes based on her feelings. 

Malachi Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child- Big brother to his twin and his cousin. He often bumped heads with Owen if the other child ever tried to pick on the other two Van Goghs. He especially cared for Clarrise, because he could tell she could not fend for herself at all. 

As a teenager- Wary of humans. He did not attend the academy until Clarisse did, joining a second year when she was in first. He has no interest in art, but has a deep love for baking. He makes the lunches for all the kids attending school.

Knox Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child - Constantly felt like he had to compete for his brothers attention. He could be intentionally mean to Clarisse but regretted instantly because of her soft nature and she never got upset with him. He cried easily.

As a teenager- Bad boy, loner. He is the only child not attending school. He tends to wander at night, getting close to humans. He finds them fascinating in how they don’t sense danger lurking around them as a vampire would. He sometimes steals Clarisse’s art and sells it for cash.

Katsuro Dazai

As a Child- Quiet and introverted. He prefers to read books and play alone. He questions everything in his path, trying to find the meaning behind it. His favorite things to play with was sand. 

As a teenager- Still relatively quiet. He spends most of his time with Clarisse, either reading or writing while she paints. He follows her around at school, not conversing with other classmates. He finds her light to be so blinding that he can’t help but be near her.

Nina Shakespeare 

As a child- Nina was locked away in her room until the age of 8, not allowed out or allowed visitors other than her father. Developed an imaginary friend that she kept even as she grew older. When she was finally allowed out into the mansion, she hated the other children out of jealousy and lashed out often.

As a teenager- Aloof at school and unapproachable. Many of classmates are afraid of her. She absolutely despises discussing her father’s works as she blames him for her horrible and lonesome childhood. She creates dark and tragic stories to reflect her own feelings towards the world. Nina cannot connect with her classmates because she fears them rejecting her and leaving her alone.

Nico Moreau (The Count’s Son with his mother's maiden name)

As a child - Curteous and inclusive, he always tried to keep the peace among the kids. Never a fussy child. He did whatever was asked of him and thoroughly respects his father. 

As a teenager- Keeps up with all the happenings at the school, especially anything related to the other vampires. He is the one tasked with making sure that Alaina doesn’t kill any other students. He is suspected to be the next student council president after Lyric graudates as his classmates find him to be gentle and kind and very smart. He hides his own bloodlust well. He falls only 3rd behind Alaina and Owen in thirst level, but he has the most self control.

Lucien D’Arc

As a child- A follower of the other kids. He never stood out, and was called lazy most of the time. The only game he ever excelled at was hide and seek, and he  loved to be the seeker, feeding off the others fear of being found. Had a tendency to harm small animals. 

As a teenager- Learned sword play but finds it tedious and dull. Has a sadistic side. He loves human girls because of the smell of their blood when they are frightened. Rarely follows through with drinking their blood, finding satisfaction in bringing them to the brink of breaking from their fears. 

The kids are all going to the academy under the family name Moreau so that no one questions their original surnames. 

The kids are not set in stone fully, as they might get more siblings or they might slightly change. 

And there you have it! All my current ocs for the game! 

Let me know which ones you are most interested in! ^_^

-Ruka

[oracles]

"kindaaaa wanna do this but i don't have enough kpoppies following me .. sad" *rubs hands together* alright here we go, challenge time. EXO, NCT, BTS, Red Velvet

kendra omg … I APPRECIATE YOU 😤💖 thank you! most of these will be under the cut probably

▷EXO

my first bias: kai. he was the first one that stood out to me in call me baby

your current bias and why: honestly i don’t really know. i love their music but don’t really stan the group like that. chanyeol maybe? he’s really talented and i admire that. perhaps kyungsoo for the same reasons

favorite song: oh boy …. they actually have a TON of amazing songs, so it’s really hard to pick. ‘promise’ and ‘sweet lies’ are just two examples of faves

favorite mv: i’m gonna be biased and say ‘call me baby’ since that was my first song that i heard by them (back when it came out too actually)

otp: i don’t ship members in groups, and also i feel like i don’t know the members well enough to say who has my favorite dynamic. maybe baekhyun/sehun?

member you think has the best smile: generally, i love all smiles but if i had to pick one … maybe i’ll be biased and say chanyeol?

favourite choreography: part of me wants to say call me baby since i’m biased, but overdose and growl are also pretty iconic

favorite era: call me baby. im 100% biased and what about it?

do you own any merchandise?: nope

have you seen them live?: i haven’t

favorite voice/singer: chen and kyungsoo, probably, if i had to pick

favorite dancer: kai

SEND ME A KPOP GROUP!

▷ NCT

my first bias: different from the first members i knew, but lucas

your current bias and why: if i had to pick one person, still lucas. frankly, lucas was the reason i really started properly stanning nct in the first place. i watched the knowing brothers episode he was on and i kinda caught feelings since then. he’s so kind-hearted and hard working while also making me laugh and being just a general ray of sunshine, i love he ;-;

favorite song: this is IMPOSSIBLE to choose … considering the fact that there’s so many subunits to the group too omg … but here’s just a few per unit (and by no means a complete list of my faves). ummm a few include limitless, the 7th sense, 1 2 3, la la love, dream launch, no longer, back 2 u, and like a Ton more

favorite mv: i have to say cherry bomb because it was the song that got me into them (musically) in the first place. i saw the teaser pics for cherry bomb and that was what got me intrigued

otp fave dynamic: there’s a lot to name (considering there’s 21 members) but can i just say that overall wayv is my emotional support nct unit

member you think has the best smile: i wanna say ALL of them, but because i know answers like this can get exhausting i will give a special shoutout to mr nakamoto yuta . the healing smile king himself

favorite choreography: idk why cherry bomb keeps coming to mind again, but the way that they did that death drop and the leg splitting move? im shaking so hard just thinking about it dhdbjdg baby don’t stop and boss also get special shoutouts bc im biased

favorite era: this is hard …. this being such a huge group makes things infinitely harder but some of my faves include: go (nct dream), boss (nct u), cherry bomb (nct 127) but i pretty much love them all, even though firetruck was … a mess stylistically

do you own any merchandise?: i don’t, but i’ve been thinking of getting an album or two someday. idk which one though

have you seen them live?: no, but i hope to one day! hopefully with envi

favorite voice/singer: all of vocal line? hghghdfg but i will give a special shoutout to jaehyun for absolutely hurting my feelings with ‘try again’ and his cover of a whole new world 

favorite dancer: ten and jisung

▷ BTS

my first bias: yoongi! the first significant foray i made into bts was actually having agust d sent to me by envi

your current bias and why: haters envi will say it’s hoseok and i will deny those rumors. im ot7 biased ONLY. if i had to narrow it down a bit, MAYBE i will let bein rapline biased slide. but honestly, all of the bts members are not only so amazingly talented but also good people in general so it makes it hard for me to put one person over the others bc it makes me feel bad (though i know there’s no reason to be, since having a bias doesn’t mean you like the other members any less)

favorite song: i absolutely cannot and will not pick just one song. but i will put it out there, for the record, that baepsae was the first song of theirs i heard so it’ll always be special to me for that reason

favorite mv: if i had to pick, i have a soft spot for spring day and blood sweat & tears

otp fave dynamic: because they’re a group with so much good synergy, i could name any duo, but from the beginning, i’ve been especially partial for yoonseok

member you think has the best smile: ALL of them but in the spirit of being less indecisive, special shoutout to hoseok and taehyung

favorite choreography: again, this is hard. in part bc suddenly my brain decides to go proper blank. it’s not my favorite per se, but baepsae deserves a spot here because of how hype that song and its choreo is till this day, years later

favorite era: run era will have a special place in my heart bc of the Looks but the sheer power that bs&t had ….. can she ever even be topped truly?

do you own any merchandise?: i do! officially, i have all of the love yourself albums (two are from kendra) and i have a bt21 mang doll (from envi). unofficially, i also have a 2018 bts desk calendar (also from kendra)

have you seen them live?: no, but one day i really hope i can!

favorite voice/singer: ALL . but if i remember in my early stanning days, i had a special spot for taehyung’s voice. if you listen to singularity, then you know

favorite dancer: hoseok (give him more choreo in the center) & jimin

▷  RED VELVET

my first bias: joy

your current bias and why: still joy, but rotating through all of the other members now as well except for wendy. i honestly don’t even know why joy is a bias, but i guess she just chose me (also me gay)

favorite song: there’s quite a few honestly. i can never really pick just ONE song for any group, unless i barely listen to them. two of theirs that i’ve been listening to quite a bit is ‘cause it’s you’ and ‘kingdom come’ 

favorite mv: peek-a-boo. it was my first music video/comeback with them and the concept of it really changed my life and was what motivated me into stanning them in the first place

otp fave dynamic: i’m biased so i just wanna say joy/seulgi. but also, i feel like while i listen to them a lot, i also am not super knowledgeable in the group’s dynamics to definitively say

member you think has the best smile: im biased so i’m saying joy. irene too bc she’s just so beautiful so how could i not

favorite choreography: not necessarily THE favorite one for me, but be natural’s choreo? i kinda felt that

favorite era: peek-a-boo, bad boy or red flavor. honestly probably some of their best recently comebacks as well. the others have fallen kinda flat for me

do you own any merchandise?: nope

have you seen them live?: i have not

favorite voice/singer: sad to say it .. but wendy has some pretty great vocals. also i really love seulgi’s voice

favorite dancer: seulgi, by far. her stage presence outsold as well

[raohlimewrilah]

.:Getting to know - Raoh’li Mewrilah:.

► Name ➔ “Raoh'li Mewrilah,” he says with a slight bow.

► Are you single ➔ “No.” Raoh'li plays with a bit of his hair and looks away with a soft smile. "Thraes Lavoie and I recently became partners."

► Are you happy ➔ “I find myself happier with each passing day, as of late.”

► Are you angry? ➔ Raoh'li looks confused. “No, I can't imagine why I would be--Oh Gods, I didn't say something rude to make you think that, did I?”

► Are your parents still married ➔ “Nicholaux has never been married and I suspect he never will. As for my birth parents... I doubt it. I'm not even certain if they're alive.”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “The Twelveswood.” ► Hair Color ➔  “Plain black.” ► Eye Color ➔  “Dark purple, too blue to be violet and too red to be indigo.” ► Birthday ➔ “My actual birthday was lost when I was, er, rescued as a child. I simply remembered it was in the middle of the First Umbral Moon and picked the 16th.” ► Mood ➔  ”Hmm, contented, excited for the future, musing.” ► Gender ➔ Raoh'li shrugs his shoulders a bit. “Male.” ► Summer or winter ➔  “Winter, definitely. Summer has absolutely no business being so hot.” ► Morning or afternoon ➔ “Afternoon. I don't... Function in the morning.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “Yes.” His soft smile returns as he looks away.

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “No, 'love at first sight' always struck me as one person forming an idea of what the other person could be to them and that sounds... Exceptionally selfish and decidedly un-romantic.”

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “Well I--I haven't really... This is my first relationship.”

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “I've never had the opportunity and hope I never do.”

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “That's a bit broad. Depends on the commitment, I suppose. I am not currently engaged in any that frighten me.”

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yes, I hugged Thraes just moments ago and have plans to do so again soon.”

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “Ahaha... Oh, you’re serious. No.”

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Not romantically.”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ Raoh'li's bluish-grey skin blushes a dusky violet. “Er, I don't--I haven't--I supposed the two can overlap--Um, I choose love.”

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Raoh'li responds immediately. “Iced tea, hold the ice.”

► Cats or Dogs ➔ Raoh'li again responds without hesitation.“Cats. Dogs are... I know they mean well, but they are far too rambunctious for me.”

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “I would prefer to have a few best friends. Having more fringe friends to mingle with has been nice, but I find myself wanting to get to know them better.”

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “A romantic night in, with good food and tea. I've heard of some of A'div's 'wild nights' and I'm just not sure I'm cut out for it.”

► Day or night ➔ “Night. Stargazing, dreaming, the quietness of the world... Definitley night.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Only a handful of times. Come to think of it, I've only ever been caught by my father. He always seemed to be able to find me no matter what lengths I go to.”

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Frequently.”

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Oh, all the time. I've a list of upcoming book releases that positively torment me any time I think of them.” He sighs. “As for people... There is a kind of pain of longing when Thraes is away for too long.”

► Wanted to disappear ➔ “Not anymore.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “Is it too indecisive of me to say 'smiling eyes'? When people smile genuinely, the way the smile causes a person's cheeks to make their eyes to scrunch up with joy... That's my favorite.”

► Shorter or Taller ➔ “I'm rarely the shorter person in any given interaction so there is a certain novelty to being the shorter one. However, I've recently made the discovery that Thraes is the absolute perfect size. So shorter, without a doubt.”  

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ “Both, with an emphasis on intelligence. Intelligence can lead to attraction, but attraction cannot fabricate intelligence. However, intelligence does not guarantee attraction; its what people do with it that can.”

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “R-relationship.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “My father may be difficult, but we love each other and always find a way to work things out. I just wish he would get along with... Everyone else.”

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ Raoh'li blinks, surprised. “No, not at all. If anything, I'd say I've been quite fortunate, all things considered.”

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Yes. I ran away from the Conjurer's Guild frequently as a child in Gridania.”

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Goodness, no!”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ Shaking his head, he seemed shocked. “Gods, no! I enjoy all of my friends... Even A'div.”

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “I consider most of my friends good friends, but not all.”

► Who is your best friend ➔ ”Thraes; he was my closest friend before we got together and I still consider him so now.”

► Who knows everything about you ➔ “My father knows perhaps the most amount of things about me, even if he does frequently ignore them in favor of one of his baffling narratives. However I would say Thraes knows me the best, at the present, and has the best opportunity to know more.”

Tagged by: @lavoie-less-travelled, THANK YOU!!

Tagging: I think everyone I know has been tagged, so if you see this and haven’t done it yet I’m tagging YOU! Please tag me so I can read them!

[sunflowerstache]

1 & 6 for the HS asks! ♡

omg thank you for asking i literally never get anything wow ilysm💛

1.) okay so i don’t have 1 absolute fav outfit cause i’m just a harry fashion hoe lol: Madrid, Singapore, Nashville, Vancouver, San Jose, and LA night 2 i literally cannot pick🙈

2.) my favorite tattoo is a tie between 2… i’m very indecisive okay… the ship on his bicep (i just think it’s well done and i love clean tats) or the anchor on his wrist (idk it just really gets me going for some reason¿)

[lildirtbike-blog]

At least you're not my problem any more I don't care bout you so why you worried about me Starbound You niggas ain't got shit on me You can leave but you can't forget You can't forget us It's 3 AM and im thinking about you My niggas been with me since day one My nigga I been a1 since day 1 So pretty but but so hard to catch Shooters on deck all of em boba fett yah I wanna bih I just want a bitch Got ny shades on in the club All of my shootas wearing camo so you won't see shit coming I honestly just wish I could be, like you I make money not friends Bih we do not play pretend I wouldn't have you any other way I swear I love every single inch of you Like why you worried bout me hoe mind ya own damn business Id love you any fucking way You was rubbing your fat little ass on my dick I let you be you and you let me be me She cuddle me harder, I gave in With her i never win She the only one that knows my sins Fuck what they say i'm the best Truth is I always liked you more I know I fall in love too quick, but this time I think it's real I see a little bit of me in you and a little bit of you in me I wanna play with you I done waited way too long for this You niggas played enough it's my time Feeling fine I'm feeling Feeling fine I'm feeling myself I'm feeling myself Homeboi a shooter Tagteam on my tutor Shawty go down for the team Touch her you gon bleed I want us to be something more Get off work so I can love you We could've got caught but that only makes shit more fun You might be the one Tear down her walls I kinda feel bad for the next nigga I gave you my heart now it doesn't even beat I'mma have to pick up every broken piece I'm with my bae she so poppin Hop out da coupe everybody stopping I wanna spoil you Ou damn she like sneakers more than me Got yo bitch on lock With my glock You're my heaven You make everything seem alright For s moment until I open my eyes I just wonder how high we can gouuo I don't just wanna fuck I also just wanna make you mine I know this shit take time But just rolllll with it But gooo with it I still see you when I open my eyes And I swear, these niggas talk to you just to talk about you All they want to know is how much you are of value I'm in the mood for taking a nigga bitch He don't care about you He don't treat you right You don't know what you do to me So nice to look at even better to touch/fuck I'd give you the world if I could too I'd give you everything if I could too I'm sorry if I upset you We ain't getting any further Fuck you/blow out your back and kiss on her freckles After cuddle the fuck out you and eat fruity pebbles I wanna cuddle the out of you I just wanna know you Fuck them other niggas they don't deserve you Stomp a nigga out in my Jordans shit I let my girl get too thick I mean there's just something about her What's happening to me unknown powers We talked for hours Hide n seek They/you don't even know my like that I won't cry over you I want you now I miss you so fucking much I'm so damn impatient But you're so damn important Leave that nigga he a loser and you know that It's wrong but it feels so right I'm sorry I'm too indecisive I can't choose Is it you or is it you I do it all for you So what you wanna do Do you even love me anymore? A lot can change in a year I wonder were we're going from here He don't even deserve you I got a lot on my mind She said she was thinking about a kid I'm like shiit Then she said she wanted to know what it would be like I'm like psych You get me/ the most You're the only one that gets me Sorry in advance if I get clingy Don't give a fuck about what they say they say I chase bags not bitches Rags to riches I chase money not bitches cuz all that shit will come later I wish I never opened up to you because you're just going to use it against me anyways I don't wanna wake up from this dream Now I gotta clean up the mess you made Fuck trying to fit in/ fitting in Why does my heart still beat for you when you destroyed it? Why you so worried bout me mind yo business You live in my head You live in my head Even though you probably want me dead I need you to pray for me cause nobody else is Whats it like on the other side Fuck them other guys Being with you is bliss even in the silence Tell me is there a bright side to all of this? I don't think I'll ever get over you Why do I feel this way You make my bad days better Strangers - Accin like you don't know me that was my fear Now we're just strangers Back to square one I was just a fool in love It wasn't even love You were my angel Now you can burn in hell You really weren't shit Going my own way Doing shit my way fuck what they say She said be gentle I said I'll try Oooh she make me nervous I'm tryna make you mine I'm running outta time You know better than to come around here Bitch niggas on my back Get the strap She knows what she's doing Killing it with my bestie/best friend I'm tryna be my best me Iloveeverythingaboutyou You know how to get under my skin I miss you already I'm trying I really am I'm holding on Hold on Bear with me I'm picking up the pieces Just let me know how you feel Be real I see/saw you in my dreams You were the only one for me It just keeps on going and it never stops Life's what you make it Don't take shit for granted I'm just tryna make it out alive I just want a bitch that get my vibe She's trouble/ but I don't mind Hate only makes me go harder All we know is bands can you really blame us? Keep a thang up in my camo pants bitch you can't tame us She sat on my lap She jumped on my dick almost bent that shit She gave me head relieve me from my stress For a little while, straight outta work and she undress (Daddy's bday flow hook) I go hard for you you go hard for me I can be anything you want me to be I want to kiss ur freckles She sent me nudes ion even know her tho Bitches talk and talk I'll be here when you come home Don't know why she got so wet Ion even think I did shit All she did was see me Split her like a kiwi She called me her husband Shawty I ain't buying no ring Kill4me Would you kill for me? Keep it real I miss/the smell of your skin I need someone who's on my level You moved on but im still here Still ain't gonna waste my tears You was just using me to pass the time You was just using me to fill a void You're my favorite part/the best parts Cuz mama told me no no no no I fucked her first you was kissing Dip on a bitch and go missing I got some Molly she itching Young Ramsay with the wrist in the kitchen Girl don't play with me Bitch don't play with me yah I'm trying not to get to used to you Cuz they always leave Just/not for you And I forget how to breathe when I see/with you Ooh you make my mouth water I can't explain it I just can't explain it Just love me honestly Love me responsibly Keep it real Im hungry for you I'm hungry need some food What do I gotta prove You cannot come to the crib I want more I want more I want more You know I gotta have it Bad habits I love her flaws and all She love me flaws and all You never tell me you love me anymore They think I'm crazy for loving you But I don't care / Jason Joseph Password : lilnibba666 Apple ID : lildirtbikeboi@gmail.com Password : lilnibba6 / Eyes - Brad Pitt, X Nose - Billie Eilish, Cindy Kimberly Forehead - Mehki Alante, X Jawline - / Eyes - Brad Pitt, X Nose - Billie Eilish, Cindy Kimberly Forehead - Mehki Alante, X Jawline - / Shorty gave me top in the movies Put frosting all on her boobies Reach under the seat grab the toolie For any nigga tryna act a foolie Fuck what they say I'm doing shit my own way I could do this shit all day Tear that ass up when we stressed Straight outta work made the biggest mess Fuck what they say I'm the best Well these niggas plottin i know that I ask () where the fuck that pole at You don't got cheese but you still a rat I'm doing shit my own way Nigga get fold like clothes / You can't catch me Nigga you can't catch me ( 21 Savage - X melody) Oh that's your girl she fuck with me Oh that's your girl think imma keep Pull up mobbin 30 deep Talk your shit send you to sleep Hop straight out the fucking jeep Hit up yo bitch then i dunk Bitch im dualied up, pop the trunk Nigga you lame you a chump We got lotsa bricks, we got lotsa skunk Its not for the using tho Shawty be a lil hoe, but she always stay ten toes We smoked dope then hit the store Dicked her down she want some mo Bitch ill flex on the pope Chop a kilo McDonalds I feel like Pablo / You know my boys gon go all out You niggas gonna know Pull up you home alone Air force 1s on my toes Whipping foreign like im grown Whipping foreign like im grown Main bitch whip the stove Side bitch whip the pole Whipping foreign like im grown Whipping foreign like im grown / White converse white socks Plaid long sleeve shirt down to shoulders Black spaghetti strap crop top Black shorts or skirt Dark skin Asian or Hispanic White Nike tennis shoes Long white Nike socks Black shorts Black hoodie Black Nike hat Pink hat Blonde long kinda wavy hair Black shorts White label shirt White Nike tennis shoes / Them drugs hit the spot Kiss me in that spot Them drugs hit the spot Kiss me in that spot Pull up finnesse on the whole lot Some feelings were caught Won't hold back on you tonight Get at my baby you might meet yo plight Won't hold back on you tonight Get at my baby you might meet yo plight / You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed Nothing will ever be the same If you don't love me no more you could've just said it I made you happy at least give me some credit We ain't getting further Cuz I ain't tryna hurt her Your love was just a lie Do you got better niggas on the side? I can see it in your eyes You switched up you changed sides You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed Nothing happens when I touch you there Shit got cold I can feel it in the air / Remember when we stayed up all night That was the best night Promise ill always be by your side But baby will you be by mine Ijusthopeshitwillturnoutright

[sweeeetnothing-blog1]

to the boy who destroyed me

I’ve written you tons of letters since June. Each time I write one, I hope it’s the last.

It’s been a little over a month since our last conversation. This whole “saga” has been a roller coaster for me.

I heard you’re leaving. I heard your last day is Friday, September 29. And I guess it hit me that the likelihood of ever seeing you again is pretty low.

You already know that I hate leaving things left unsaid. There’s a lot I want you to know. Don’t be scared–but take a deep breath.

I felt very consumed by my feelings for you. You had my undivided attention every time we talked or spent any time together. I thought you were sweet, kind, smart, funny, and charming. I think we had amazing chemistry, and I was dangerously attracted to your mind and body.

I want to remind you that I told you I couldn’t kiss you unless you were single. And we both acted on our feelings. And as stupid as it was, I do not regret anything that happened. But I told you that if there was any hope for a future together, I didn’t want things to start off sketchy. I wanted it to be healthy. I told you I didn’t want you to have to live with or carry any guilt. But you kept telling me that I wasn’t complicating your life. And I was so crazy about you that I was willing to go against my morals and values. And I knew things wouldn’t end well. But the way I felt about you blinded me. I knew what I was getting myself into. And it was incredible. You made feel really special and safe. You made me forget about the whole world whenever I was with you. But it was also horribly confusing and exhausting.

You broke my heart into a million little pieces. And I let you. But just because I knowingly let this happen, doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I fell in love with you. I wanted you to let me love you with my whole heart because I fell in love with your words, your smile, your hands, your wrinkly ear, your perfect kisses, your laugh, your lip dot, your touch, your sense of humor, with the lime green post its you hid at my desk, with the birthday card you wrote me, with your smell, with your curls, with the way you shake your hair off like a shaggy dog in the shower, with the way you begged me for hugs and kisses (soft ones, big ones, wet ones, slow ones), with the way you talked about my body, with the way you sucked on my bottom lip, with the way “you and I interact in a way that’s easy,” with every single mind match. I fell in love with the idea of what I thought you and I could become, and with the type of person I thought you were.

You told me it broke your heart when I cried. You told me you thought about me the entire time you rode the local train on my birthday to Yankee Stadium. You told me you wanted to kiss me goodnight on my baby hairs. You told me about all the place you wanted to take me, and that you could see yourself “getting lost in crazy parts of the world” with me. You told me you loved my companionship.

But I knew I would never be yours. I knew things would never work out. I knew you were too good to be true.

There were so many times your actions made no sense to me. You told me we should reel things in and focus on our current situations regardless of how we felt about each other– and the next day, you asked to join one of my meetings and then “put one on for tomorrow just because.” Three days later, we kissed. I apologized. You looked me in the eye and told you knew you would end up kissing me. And in between forty more minutes of kissing me, you pulled away, looked at me, and said, “I just really like you and I’m scared I’m making the wrong decision.” Then you agreed to work on things with her, and kissed me.

After ten days of not talking, you told me you were feeling better about things with your relationship, and then we kissed until 4 AM. And then you came over twice. I let you into my world, and brought you to my favorite spot. And then you went home to Indiana. I was frustrated and confused because you told me you wanted to talk while you were home but weren’t very chatty. So I took two days of space, and amid my lack of responses to your texts and instagram messages, I woke up to a text from you at 5 AM because you couldn’t sleep and “just wanted to say hi.” You told me you missed me and how much you enjoyed hanging out with me. We spent more time together when you came back. You asked to hang out, and after we fell asleep on each other countless times, you told me you thought we should stop. But then you slept over, practically had sex with the next morning, told me how much you didn’t want to leave, and then spoke to me a little later that day. But then you disappeared and completely ignored me for three days. You called things off. I told you I understood, but didn’t believe that it was what you wanted. And in between our forty minute goodbye hug, I felt you kissing my arm through my sleeve. I asked what you were doing, you said “I don’t know.”

When you called everything off, you acted as if this whole thing had no negative effects on my life or feelings. I never in a million years thought I would find myself in a situation this shitty, confusing, and against everything I stand for. We both knew this “saga” was more than just physical attraction. But for some reason, I looked past the anxiety it caused for me. I think it’s because of all of the glimmers of hope you provided. There were so many times I thought things might actually work out– despite having accepted the fact that I would never be able to trust you.

You, by far, have been the biggest disappointment.

You are, quite possibly, the most selfish and indecisive person I have ever met. The only thing I am 100% sure I know about you at this point is that you have absolutely no idea what you want. But before we entered round 5 of our “saga,” I asked you what you wanted, and what you wanted from me. You were very honest and told me you wanted me to keep talking to you and playing with you. And I went with it and gave you precisely what you wanted for those three week.

Did it ever occur to you to ask me what I wanted?

If you had bothered, I would have told you that all I wanted was you. I wanted you to pick me. I wanted you to let me 100% of the way in and be your person and make you feel special, validated, supported, and appreciated. Despite all the sadness, confusion, frustration, and anxiety, I wanted to try things with you.

I knew it would never play out that way. I followed my heart anyway. And I’ve hoped you might show up at my door. And I’ve resisted the urge to call you more times than I can count. I walked myself into three weeks of hell with you, and I was not prepared for the effect you had on me. You destroyed me. And I’ve spent so much time being upset and deeply sad about you.

My heart still hurts. This summer was really difficult, and this past month at work has been 150% unbearable. Life is too fucking short for games and space and time.

But you are so manipulative. The last time we spoke, I told you how badly this all hurt and how much I needed it to be done. But, like always, you sucked me in, and we chatted. And you had the nerve to tell me the past month had been shitty for you, too. You told me that you still needed space. You told me that you still think talking to me is a bad idea. And you told me you miss me, too.

I had literally just told you that I was in so much pain and that you couldn’t talk to me anymore and you thought it was necessary to imply you still had feelings for me. You left things open ended. And it’s infuriating.

You were the one who said you couldn’t talk to me the month before, and I was very respectful of that. But you admitted to finding several excuses to talk to me. All you ever do is fuck with my head. It feels like every time I try to move past this, you get in the way.

There is so much I don’t know about you, and so much I will never understand. I cannot tell you how badly it hurts to be your secret. I am so exhausted from trying to work this whole thing out in my head. And I am trying hard to fix what you broke. That’s why I wrote you this letter. You are poison and I cannot let you suck me in one more time. I let you hurt me, and I let you break me. I won’t let you anymore. I deserve so much better than you, and you know that. I give 100% of myself to the people I care most about, and you do not even deserve 50% of that. I know that you and I want different things and I find comfort in that.

You toyed with my heart, and the way I felt about you blinded me. You have a lot of soul searching to do.

You need to stop compartmentalizing. I truly do think you want more out of life and love, but you don’t think you deserve that. And quite frankly, you don’t.

I hope one day you’ll figure out what you want.

I have felt your eyes on me a few times in the past couple of weeks. Others have noticed, too. I wish I could’ve called you out.

So, my last ask of you is to please never do this to anyone else, ever again.

Please do not hurt someone else the way you hurt me.

Please do not let someone miss you the way I have and still do.

Please do not give people false hope.

Don’t let people believe in you if you have  no intentions of making serious changes.

Don’t divide your attention among people.

Don’t let others believe you have a seemingly perfect life and relationship.

Don’t build people up just to let them down.

I changed my entire life because of the way I felt about you. And it saddens me to think about how amazing of a person I thought you were, only to be so incredibly disappointed.

We both let this happen. But we handled things very differently. And that alone confirms that you are not the person I thought you were.

[hannahchronism]

OC Tag -- 25 Questions

Tagged by: nobody, I do what I want (but obviously taken from @tellingscarystories )

Let’s have some fun and talk about our OCs! If tagged, pick the best/most developed OC you have and fill this out!

Rules:

Post these rules.

Answer the questions about your OC below. Go ahead and give more info than just a one-word response!

Tag at least 5 people! (If you don’t have an OC, you should make one and then fill this out *winky face*). You don’t have to be tagged to do this, if you want to do it, tag me so I can see! :D

// I think Tech still stands as my most developed (but it’s only because I’ve had her the longest of any of my currently (semi)active characters.) I might do this again for Lu later?

Questions:

OC’s name: Madelyn Fae Magson / Techno Havoc (/ The Radio Ghost) Fandom (if any): Danger Days Age: Assuming current year as 2027, 22 [can you believe...she was 13(?) the first time I wrote her. My bby. All grown up :’)] Occupation: professional loudmouth Freelance hacker / Rebel

1: Any nicknames?

Oh god, so many. Madelyn naturally got shortened to "Maddy" a lot when she was younger, as well as "Mads" and occasionally (sometimes with negative connotations) “Mad Mags.” Some of Jack’s friends, because they were so used to calling each other by their surnames, just called her “Mags” for a diminutive.

When she first got out to the desert, she picked up the habit of picking up little odds and ends, and with it, the nickname/first callsign "Magpie." (She had always had the tendency to horde things, really, but in-city I feel like clutter is probably frowned upon (at least in higher class places) and then, she spent those years where nothing belonged to her, not even really her body, so I feel like it probably was way worse after she got out.) After that, she named herself Techno Havoc, and from that "Tech", "Techie", and the occasional "Havoc" were born. DK called her "Rusty" (or maybe "Sparky"? I forget. Somebody called her one, someone else called her the other.) Weasel sometimes calls her “Spyro” for? some reason, I don’t even know if I had a reason when he started that. Jack has been known to lovingly refer to her as "Miss Mess" and then Grave almost exclusively calls her "Lil Miss" because he enjoys testing her patience. Then there's the classics: "Firebug" "Spitfire" "Firefly" etc. (cause of her hair. And, y'know, that whole temper thing.)

And then there's the "Pretty Bird" "Little Bird" thing that Mouse took up (from Kobes & DesertMomMouse respectively) but I mean? Those are like those "exclusive" kind of nicknames she definitely wouldn't tolerate from anybody else. Also "Kitten" falls in this category [Try it. I dare you.] but that was technically me who did that.

2: What is ‘home’ to your OC?

The desert, in the very broad sense of the word. Yeah she's got her designated corner of the Haven, and she can drop into the Trade Station more or less anytime she wants, but she's got that thing where staying anywhere too long starts to make her feel trapped, and she sort of struggles with naming a location as "home" in general since her only real "home" she had fell apart so spectacularly, uprooted by her own dang mom. Which, then, you might think her the type to think of people as her home, and I guess that's not wrong? necessarily?? But she struggles with that too thanks to those massive trust issues and a nice (un)healthy dose of C-PTSD. Really, it mostly just boils down to knowing where she doesn't belong, and where she doesn't want to be: home (used just.../so loosely there) is anywhere that isn't those places.

3: Favorite food and drink?

I have said this before but her favorite food is cranberry sauce! (Er, I think it's technically called "jellied cranberry" but we've always called it cranberry sauce.) The canned kind, because it's probably the only kind she's ever had tbh. I don't think she has a favorite drink, though. She's always been sort of... neutral (?) about food/drink in general, to the point where she often considers it annoying/a hassle to take time out of her day to remember to eat & drink. When it comes to alcohol, she’s just as non-picky. (I mean, she’d prefer the kind of ‘shine that won’t leave you blind, but that’s just common sense.)

4: Any scars/birthmarks?

She's got a birthmark on the back of her left shoulder! Just a lil oval, nothing special. She used to have those crazy 'signature' scars on her chest and mouth, but she lost those in ReEducation- partly to reinforce the conditioning, and partly because of BLI's good 'ol "Everything has to be beautiful" obsession. Since hitting the sand for the second time, she's picked up a few scars here and there, mostly concentrated on her outer left thigh (those are self inflicted) and her knees (she cannot, for the life of her, keep them unscraped tbh) but nothing too notable - with the exclusion of a brand stinkin' new one on the back of her right arm. (It's gonna fade a little over time/as it finishes healing completely, but it's there forever now. She's gonna fuckin' treasure that scar, too.)

5: What does your OC do in his/her free time?

She likes to tinker with makking tiny little robots that don’t really do anything besides crawl around, and she’s also got this side hobby/fascination with insects (beetles are her favorite because “they have the most personality”) And y’know how they say “if you love what you do you never work a day in your life” and she does so love to dig and disorder, so she’s got that going on a lot of the time too. And, of course, there’s the matter of expanding her collection of junk, little hoarder that she is.

6: When does your OC think killing is ok?

I wouldn't say she ever thinks it's "okay" so much as "occasionally slightly justifiable." Queen of indecision that she is, I'm sure this fluctuates, but she generally frowns upon the deaths of 'innocents' or anyone otherwise "uninvolved." Directly/physically confronted, if you threaten her life she will fight back and she won't pull punches.

7: Biggest fear?

mmmmmmmmm I wanna say something like losing herself again or being used or people she loves turning on her, but I think all of those really and truly link back to a root fear of being imprisoned again, and all the pain/circumstances around it.

8: What does your OC think is his/her biggest accomplishment?

Not being dead? Most of her loud fronting is that, fronting, and while she knows she's good at hacking (and, to a lesser degree, her engineering) but she has never really assigned much significance to her accomplishments. It's just, all to keep living y'know?

9: How clean/tidy is your OC?

She's a mess honestly. She's got this "system" of "orginization" and it is something that works for her, she can find things, but it looks like/is just a frickin' big ol mess honestly. Things all over the floor, amassed into little piles just everywhere. Expect to get an earful if you move anything up, though.

10: Favorite smell?

Smoke smells of the cigarette and wood variety. It definitely has nothing to do with her brother smelling like those things a lot, obviously.

11: What does your OC smell like?

Sun-baked sand and copper and that weird plastic-rubber smell that hangs around places where there’s a lot of wiring; also maybe a little like a cat, because she’s never more than about two feet away from Glitch. Also sometimes (depending on the availibility & her stress level) cigarette smoke, because she does occasionally smoke+ she also just burns them for the smell. (Plot twist, she's been Neil Josten the whole time. No seriously, there's this post on her blog from way the fuck back where she was like "I burn them for the smell" and I tried so hard to find it in her archive but I can't or I'd link it.)

12: What kind of clothing is your OC the most comfortable in?

She's never really uncomfortable in clothes unless they're a particularly awful texture/stiffness (but I mean..how often does that happen in the desert? everything's old and ratty and worn) but also she's low key most comfortable just ... not wearing any. And this absolutely links back to that thing I talked about once how she kind of never grew out of certain "childish" mentalities. She doesn't generally give any thought to how put together her outward appearance is, and she sheds any "unecessary" garments at the first given opportunity. Sometimes even when she should be wearing them. And then she gets sunburned. ‘Cause she’s dumb.

When clothed, however, she gravitates towards shirts/tops that are too big (plus a few tank tops she basically uses as underwear), and then she has a minor preference for shorts for some reason, but she really won't object to any pair of bottoms that won't fall off her skinny little butt (though, to be honest, most of her pants/shorts end up at least slightly too big as well.) 

She's also a known clothing thief - all of your t-shirts are forfeit if she manages to get her hands on them.

13: What do your OC’s living quarters look like?

When she's not in full vagabond mode with the grey tarp, she's got her little unit at the Haven. It's not super super full of anything, because of tendency to flitter around, but she is amassing a bit of a collection in there, as messy and "organized" into chaos as it always is. Some day I’ll sit down and describe all of the occupied units in greater detail, but not right now.

14: Is your OC impulsive?

HAHAHAHAHA YEAH

15: Most treasured possession?

I wanna say the cat? Does the cat count? He's technically a living thing and not really a "possession" because he's got a bit of a feral streak, but .. ?

OH OR - that fuckin stupid silver hard drive/her mom's will. She will not let that thing go, she put it on a freaking string and wears it as a necklace and it makes me (and Jack) so mad. But, she's attached to it, it's so valuable to her.

16: What does your OC consider to be good entertainment?

A nice good shouting match, honestly. She's just... so contrary and  really loves to argue. 

She's also fond of, like I mentioned above, studying insects. Not from like, a scientific point of view, she doesn't pull them apart or anything, but sometimes she'll catch them and keep them in a little jar for awhile before turning them loose again. Also he doesn't do it much now, but Jack used to write a lot (stories, some songs) and she's always loved to listen to those.

General radio chatter doesn't necessarily always fall under "entertainment" but she does often enjoy it. At the very least, it staves off the silence, and really anything that does that is good.

17: Most noticeable physical characteristic?

Uhhh... used to be her scar(s) but obviously that's a non thing anymore so.....50/50 between her natural hair color (and I mean...I guess even her dyed colors are technically still a physical characteristic) and her slight stature, especially when compared to her brother & parents. She’s pretty damn short and verges on alarmingly thin, even for the desert.

18: You OC is going out somewhere. Where is he/she going and what time is it?

When is she not "out" honestly?

(But, if going somewhere with the thought of social contact in mind, probably Tess's sparring ring or, even more likely, some cozy sunning rock where you'll find a snake and the time of day or day of the week becomes completely and utterly irrelavent.)

19: Did your OC enjoy his/her childhood?

Depends on where, exactly, you want to say "childhood" cuts off. Pre 10-years-old, hell yeah. 10-14, well, not exactly. I don't have much to say about either section right this second though because I tned to spend a lot of time talking about it in relation to how she is now, so it feels unecessary right here.

20: What would your OC die for?

...Love? to be general about it? I can't really imagine her going down in the name of a cause, or.. much else, really? But, if it came to it, I feel like there's some people she loves she'd be willing to meet death in the mosh pit for.

21: What does it take to earn your OC’s respect?

She's got decent respect for anyone who treats people with basic respect to begin with, but the way to get really really high in her sights is most definitely grand gestures. Swallowing your pride and abandonning all you've worked for to bust her out? Great, so great. Doing a death-march into the heart of the city in the name of protecting someone you love? Incredible. Giving the middle finger to the afterlife/death deity for the sake of coming back to your brother? Hi, welcome to the top tier.

And maybe that's a bit more like admiration / love but those tend to blur together a bit in my opinion.

22: Pet peeves?

I'm not even gonna try, the list is so long and so dependent on her moods anyway. Biggest, probably, I guess, is being called rat (but that's...honestly a legitimate trigger rather than a pet peeve.)

23: How forgiving is your OC?

I won't lie, she's got a thing for grudges, and sometimes they can be really easy to invoke with her, but she's honestly just as likely to forget she was mad at you. Not that you were explicitly forgiven, but that she  just...forgot to remember.

If you betray her trust though you're done. For like, the rest of forever. (Also: fuck you she has so many trust issues don't make them worse???)

24: What does your OC sleep in?

A cuddle puddle with Vi & Foxy

Typically, just whatever she was wearing as clothes that day. That's part of why she gravitates towards large shirts and such. She's very prone to wearing the same clothes a few days in a row before cleaning/airing them out because of this.

When she’s out wandering, she might actually throw an extra layer on because of how cold it gets at night, and the fact that she’s not so big on blankets, for some reason?

25: Biggest secret?

You know for all her self-isolation and walls-of-defense, I can't really think of any actual secrets she keeps? Obviously she doesn't just dump all of her life on you and she's less inclined to talk about things that upset her, but she's really just an honest person.

Tagging: @jediiwrites @kenziecarrion @wiscowrites @azianxpersuasionwrites & @theichthyostegawrites (but zero pressure to actually do it yo)

[dowoonscookies]

qn&ans tag

hi so this might be a bit late... but uhh i was tagged by the amazing @6ungjin​ and @jyplovesday6​ much thanks guys for tagging me but now i have no one else to tag lol  but here goes

okay so here are @6ungjin​‘s questions:

1. What are 5 unusual things that you like about your bias?

uhhh well to be fair dont exactly have a bias but since my url is dowoon i’ll just go with that

red ears the difference between him performing something like dance dance and hunt is all cute and shy but actually lowkey smooth af the fact that he considers how to bridge the gap between a studio track and a live performance drinks striaght from the teapot

2. Favourite lyrics from any of your bias groups’ songs?

this is from Naked by SPYAIR

“I don’t want to meet anyone”, I’ve experienced such night it’s not that I like being alone it’s just that whoever I’m with, I don’t feel like we understand each other I wonder why, I feel so lonely, yet inside of loneliness I feel freedom

3. A song you wished Day6 would cover/hope to cover soon?

I had thought this from the first moment i heard it... but i would die if they ever sang james bay’s craving... something about their voices/style seem like it would fit.

4. Would you prefer to have a talent in singing, dancing or rapping?

singing... i guess? so i dont feel so terrible in front of my aural skills class lol

5. How did you first find out about your bias group(s)?

jae on instagram a bit before their debut. i thought he had to be some sort of special person to edit their own wikipedia like that

6. Have you ever had a personal encounter/any interactions with your bias groups? (Be it on internet or in real life) If so, describe it!

haha unfortunately no T_T the closest i’ve ever gotten to an interaction was that one time when ichika liked one of my instagram comments lol

7. How would you imagine your life not being a fan of your bias groups?

a world without color. a life without meaning. a life not worth living. lol but real talk music is all i’ve got in life right now

8. The chance to be able to hang out personally with your bias group for 1 day or get unlimited concert tickets to your bias groups’ concert?

uhhhh well since i’m a potato and dont want anyone to hate me i’ll take the unlimited concert tickets because lord knows i need one

and here’s @jyplovesday6‘s questions:

1. What is your favourite comeback month by far?

bro you picked the wrong person to ask.... i cannot give you an answer each one had its charm

2. What kind of person are you? boy groups or boy bands?

ummmm both?? i have a blog for each so... wow im a really indecisive person arent i

3. When do you get the feeling of “i h8 you” toward your bias?

i dont ever feel this way toward day6 but with toru..... yeah i get that feeling alllll the time

4. What is your current jam?

Sorry by The Rose... and lowkey jjp’s icarus. stuck in my head 24/7 rn

5. Do you listen to western bands? if so, who’s your favourite?

i don’t really listen to them anymore but uhhh once upon a time i liked fob

6. What is your favourite song in the Daydream album?

HUNT goddamn that song is my fucking jam no one ever talks about it enough

7. What do you do with a bias wrecker? Do you surrender or do you fight?

tbh since im indecisive i rarely bias one person to the extent that most people do so i dont really know how it feels to have a “bias wrecker” or having to “stay loyal” lol

8. How is your life going recently are you stressful or is everything going well cause i’d like to know

new semester is about to start... havent practiced the orch excerpts... college apps coming up.... dont know how to study for tests... im somehow not feelin the stress yet lol

so my questions (im not very creative forgive me):

1. What’s a genre or concept that you’d like to see a bias group doing that they haven’t done yet?

2. Favorite airport(or any type of commute) look?

3. Most iconic thing your bias has ever done?

4. Would you rather have a studio album of all the covers day6 has ever done or a studio album of all the unreleased tracks (eg pandora, you, eyeless...)?

5. Favorite unreleased day6 track?

6. One wish you hope your bias/group would fulfill?

7. Two songs that you think would sound great as a mashup

8. Have you listened to royal pirates before? Have you saved your soul yet?

uhhh i guess i’ll tag @ftday6 @noa-noa-noa @so-na-gi @dowoonbiasedtbh ofc only if you want to no pressure