#but i cannot be sure because i wasn't paying attention to any of his appearances until the end >:((

[rainbowsillz]

“That guy is my pookie, so stop touching him—!”

Pairings: Multiple Characters X GN! Reader.

Warnings: Unwanted affections, discomfort, etc.

-*-

RIDDLE was aversed by the event, he doesn't know what he should do, he shouldn't lash out at them. He disliked it, being interacted by a stranger unfamiliar to him. They were seemingly intent on speaking to him. Curse his situation, it wasn't good for him. Before he becomes any more uncomfortable, your voice pulled him back to reality when you then rushed to him. The red head scrambled to call you over and get away. He looked okay mostly, except with him forgetting to compose himself as he took your hand into his. Cuddle him and he will be in a pleasant mood!

LEONA could care less or doesn't notice in the beginning since he was taking care of his nephew. He has instinct, yeah sure, but he wasn't always paying attention to his environment, he was keen on waiting for you to arrive from your shopping items and whatnot. So there was someone, they presumably? Asking questions to him, and he was a jerk he usually was to anyone, he didn't answer back to them. And that escalated when they were hitting on him! Needless to say, he was somewhat glad that you showed up before he beat them into a pulp or worse with his hands...

AZUL was smiling maliciously at them. Oh my, what a stupi- he meant fearless individual, one does not hop away unscathed after it. Do boundaries mean nothing to them? How sorrowful! I think he can dissolve this himself, and like Riddle, he doesn't enjoy physical contact too much from nameless civilians in particular. A pity that Jade and Floyd was at Mostro Lounge today, he adjusted his glasses in a thoughtful manner as he pondered about this. How will he resolve it? His train of thoughts was intercepted by your appearance, you drove them away shortly and checked on him.

KALIM was oblivious, he was too nice to understand it, he did keep his distance because he was going on a date with you. And you were looking forward to it as he does! He blanched and shoved them away the minute they attempted to kiss his lips. And by a miracle, you popped out sooner than he anticipated, shielding him behind you as you scolded them and threatened them to leave or else, you whisked your phone out and said you informed the headmaster of their crimes, and they'll be facing consequences. The grin on your boyfriend was ear to ear as he thanked you.

VIL was having a headache, he should have expected it, as if school work wasn't a chore, he had to be worrying about this? You weren't there yet, so he will have to settle it himself, you can be scary if you have to be after all. And him as a renowned celebrity can put you in a tight spot, so he doesn't want that to occur. His vice was at his dormitory, Rook wasn't there with him, what a great time for him, he thought sarcastically to himself. His fortitude can't be that generous with his dilemma, to imagine how you ran straight in to rant at them for him. How gallant of you.

IDIA was screeching internally, he couldn't believe it, why would anyone t-t-talk to him??? He was not happy, this was why he was against coming out of Ignihyde, he should have brought Ortho with him. Because he was out of place and eek..! W-what?! Did they flirt with him? This was weird, he cannot handle this anymore. The almond shaped eyes dorm leader was gripping his tablet like it was his hope. Prefect, where were you? Fortunately for him, you were back from your exploration and headed to him. Much to his relief, they were gone when you gave an energy drink to him.

MALLEUS was fazed by it. Confusion and dread vibrated in his mind. Was this ordinary for humans? The fae was disturbed, more so abhorred with the overwhelming senses of anxiousness as he moved away. He doesn't wish to seem radical. So he resorted to cautioning them to not pet him like that with firmness instead. You were done with your groceries, and walked toward him and it dawned on you what was happening with him. His gaze landed on your form, and the housewarden of Diasomnia beckoned you. Although it made him unnerved, you were there to cheer him up.

[dia-souls]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Analyzes [ Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato]

Original title: ワガママ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki

Analyze by: Admin Afra

Admin's note: I'm not a big Kanato fan so I wasn't too excited about this CD. With all due respect to all Kanato fans, I never expected much character development from this guy. I mean, you can't expect much from a boy who screams and shouts all the time. But I congratulate you. Despite being creepy, Kanato appeared really well at the end of this CD, and at least he can express his true feelings, which should be appreciated. Because there is this Kanato in every sort. Right?

What could be more beautiful with Kanato than a tea party with dolls? To be one of the dolls.

I think this can be expected from Kanato. I mean, Kanato has turned a lot of brides of previous victims into dolls and he's happy with that, but playing and drinking tea with Yui's corpse is different for him.

Why doesn't Yui show him any reaction? Why doesn't he smile or say thank you? The answer is very simple, a doll or a dead body cannot smile and say thanks.

This is something that bothers Kanato. Why is Kanato upset about this? Wasn't Yui's blood the only important thing for him? So what does it matter if Yui dies and doesn't smile at him?

I like to think of these flashbacks as a Yui-less life experience for the boys. We can clearly see how Yui's absence bothers them.

The flashback ends and Kanato and Yui's daily life begins with Kanato's bad mood. Are you surprised?

For Kanato, Yui's ruling is an asset. The property that belongs to him completely and no one should touch her. So if Kanato sees Yui with one of his brothers, even if nothing special happened between them and it was just a simple conversation, it means the end of the world.

This small issue makes Kanato angry and I must warn that this boy's anger is playing with fire. He can simply express his anger in the most brutal way possible and I really wonder how Yui handles this. You have to be very smart and brave to deal with a nervous Kanato because there is a 90% chance of death.

It's not really surprising that Kanato punishes Yui after seeing her talking to Reiji. The first thing that comes to his mind is that Reiji has sucked her blood.

Therefore, it is natural that if Yui says that she is feeling sick, Kanato will think that it is due to anemia and think that Reiji has sucked her blood. He likes to make Yui look guilty all the time. Or rather, Kanato cannot believe Yui's innocence. Maybe he doesn't trust her, and this is understandable for him and all his brothers. Their past has made them see all women as the same and cannot trust them. Even if Yui screams that she is innocent, Kanato doesn't want to believe her. Maybe even Kanato himself knows that Yui is innocent but he is afraid of making her look innocent. In my opinion he is not a simple character and it is impossible to understand what is going on in his mind. While he can act like a spoiled child, he can also be extremely clever and cunning.

Somehow I'm sure Kanato knows Yui is innocent, that's why he forgave Yui with just a simple apology. Well, if you want my opinion, I would say that if Kanato is sure that Yui is doing something against his will, he will punish her severely. This is Kanato's way of mastering Yui. Kanato just wants Yui's attention and he used this issue as an excuse so that Yui would pay more attention to him to make up for a sin she did not commit.

Something Kanato had never seen from his mother was motherly love. That is why he asks Yui for this love. He asks Yui to hug him and pat his head like a mother and bake him sweets. This is exactly what Kanato wished to experience with Cordelia. But he could not, for this reason, he returns his harshness and mistrust to Yui and asks for her love.

So we understand that all this is an excuse for Kanato to experience with Yui what he wished to experience as a child.

Poor Yui. She certainly tried her best to please Kanato, but surely she cannot please him all the time with the bad situation she is in. Yui is so strong that despite her illness, she decided to make sweets for Kanato.

But in the end, illness is something that, unlike Kanato's anger, Yui cannot overcome, and in the end it kills het. But does Kanato understand this? Of course not. It's as if Kanato didn't care what happened to Yui, he just wants whatever he wants to be prepared as soon as possible and doesn't care about Yui's bad condition at all.

Kanato doesn't want to believe Yui's illness and wants to blame her anyway even for getting sick. For this reason, he again relates her illness to anemia and sucking her blood to others.

But how will Kanato react when he finds out that Yui will die soon? Like the rest of his brother, Kanato is not mature enough to look for a solution and tries to just deny it. Well, we can analyze this as Kanato is afraid of Yui's death and doesn't want to believe it. It's a simple solution to deal with something that you're terribly afraid of.

Kanato has realized that he needs Yui and he can't live without her, but he doesn't want to accept this, so instead of showing how much he needs Yui, he tries to pull Yui to a path where Yui admits that she needs Kanato. This is what Kanato fears. He is afraid of being dependent on another person. That's why he doesn't even allow Yui to talk about death. Because it is easy to understand that this is a truth about Yui. Even if the disease doesn't kill Yui, she will die one day because she is human and not immortal like vampires.

So when Yui says she's going to die soon, Kanato yells that Yui has no right to talk about that.

But will Kanato find a solution to cure Yui? Of course not. Kanato goes on a new hunt to prove to both Yui and himself that Yui is not special to him. Neither she nor her blood therefore seeks someone whose blood is as sweet as Yui's and Kanato makes sure that he is not even dependent on Yui's sweet blood.

It is clear that Kanato has accepted the truth without realizing it and is now trying to deny it. Kanato is not honest with himself.

As Kanato himself admitted, he closed his eyes and ears to the truth and imprisoned him so that Yui would surrender and deny the truth.

Kanato asks himself why did I do this? Why didn't I try to do something despite the abnormal condition of her heart? Because even he did not want to accept the truth.

Kanato also asks Yui to lie. He asks her to say that she is not going to die. Kanato simply asks her to pay attention to no one and nothing but him. He wants Yui to tell him that she is by her side forever, even though he knows it's a lie.

Yui could never have imagined that Kanato's love for her is so great, and honestly, I give her the right. Because if someone keeps telling me that your value is only in your blood and not more, I will come to the conclusion that my only value is for my partner is only blood, not myself.

That's why Yui said that Kanato can easily replace her. Yui has no idea how much Kanato hates the idea. She simply wants Kanato to be happy and not worry about losing her prized prey.

It bothers Kanato why Yui thinks Kanato wants to replace her. Kanato is mostly annoyed by the fact that he thinks Yui doesn't need him at all. He wants Yui to be in need and love him and even jealous of the thought that she is going to be replaced. Kanato doesn't want to show Yui that he is the one who needs Yui. That's why he decides to stay away from Yui for a while so that Yui pleads to him that she needs him even if it means that he himself will suffer from this separation.

Kanato's restlessness after leaving Yui is completely understandable. He left her without his heart's desire and just to deny his need for Yui, but he can't bear to be away from her.

Yui only cares about his partner's happiness. That's why she's not afraid of her own death and her only concern is Kanato's happiness, that's why Yui smiles instead of being jealous when Kanato tells her there are many alternatives for you. Yui's heart seems to have calmed down and she is relieved that her loved one is happy. Because this is the only thing that matters to her.

But that doesn't make Kanato happy. He can now clearly see that Yui doesn't need him at all, but that he is dependent on her, and he can't bear to live without Yui.

This might be the hardest thing Kanato has to do, but this distance doesn't make Yui turn to him or admit she needs him, it only makes Kanato more mad. Because as he said, Yui is the only thing he has. Yui is the only burden left in this world for him.

The tea party was for Kanato to finally confess to Yui. He admits that he needs her and doesn't want to live without her, but it was too late because Yui had decided to end her life with poison.

It is understandable why Yui decided to commit suicide. It means Yui was alive with love for Kanato. But she only wanted Kanato's happiness and when she was sure about this, she must have come to the conclusion that she has no more duties and responsibilities in this world and it is better to end her life as soon as possible.

But this was not what Kanato wanted. Kanato wanted Yui to admit that she loved Kanato as much as Kanato loved her. There are thousands of people like Yui, but none of them are Yui. Kanato can't imagine a world without Yui and that's what he finally admits.

Cordelia's heart brought Yui back to life and now it took her life. Many people say that Cordelia's heart kept Yui alive but let's be honest. If Yui's special personality and kind and golden heart, none of these boys, especially Kanato, would have ever admitted that I can't bear the world without you. Preys can be replaced, but not Yui. Because Yui is not prey for them. She is their love and life.

We can see why Kanato never turned Yui into a doll. Yui was a sacrificial bride and the prey was worthless to them just like the previous sacrificial brides. None of the previously sacrificed brides were important to Kanato, so Kanato turned them into dolls.

But why didn't Kanato do this to Yui? Yui was also a sacrificial bride and a worthless prey. Why didn't Kanato do that?

You can clearly see it in this section. Kanato is playing with Yui's motionless corpse just like a doll. But this doll does not smile at him. She does not speak his name and cannot make him happy with the warmth of her love and caress him in her warm arms.

Yui always smiled at him no matter how hard she was but this doll couldn't smile and make Kanato happy. The only one who could do that was Yui.

This is the karma that Kanato received. The girl who always begged him and he never listened and now it's Yui who doesn't listen to him.

Kanato apologizes to Yui because now he can understand how much she's been in pain, although it's too late and I doubt Yui can forgive him, but he hopes for Yui's kind heart.

Yui's return to life is a miracle for Kanato. He no longer wants to lose the reason for his life.

I'm glad to see a mature behavior from Kanato at the end. This brat boy has really improved and I am very proud of him. I'm sure Yui is a very special person who was able to change even Kanato.

And finally we hear Kanato's confession that Yui and her life are precious to Kanato and Kanato doesn't want to lose Yui.

Yui used to be a prey for him, but now this prey has become his most valuable possession. Kanato and she both lived in the same world, a world that Kanato used to see as ordinary, but thanks to Yui, he now sees it as beautiful. Because Yui is with him and as long as Yui is with him, his life and the world he lives in are beautiful.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 8 time

and again, doing it from tower so we can have panels, so that also means a cut to save dash space

bwahahaha idk but that over the top warning box just had me burst out laughing. i sure hope some karen complained that this storyline was too over the top pointlessly graphic (ok i din't really, because again i do enjoy bloody fights, but this is all just edgelordy nonsense for the sake of being unpleasant)

anywhos, onto our story in progress proper

i already mentioned the preview pages, and commented that i liked the parallels in the storytelling, and the Holly Bright/Bonnie Hale things. but the fact that Victor's admitting that he's a victim...has that ever happened before?

aw crap, Savage is dead-dead. i was hoping maybe she wasn't, like how Capt wasn't for an issue, since she wasn't decapitated. but nope, we can't have fun here.

Laura tauntsGraydona nd jumps out a window. he says screw it all.

Logan's getting patched up by Oya and monologing internally about how it;s so great to have no powers and could die at any moment...didn't we do this song and dance years ago before you died dude? also, you're not gonna be able to move very easily with that super heavy metal skeleton that your body won't compensate for properly without your healing factor. you know the adamantium poisoning is gonna get you. we've done this before; stop being so blasé about it.

Nekra thinks Logan's plans are dumb. Mr OC tries a psychic tap and freaks out because Graydon is so much worse than Victor? uh...wut. wiener boi, even in new shiny tinfoil mode, is not as large scale of a threat as you're making him seem. i'm sorry, but no. you cannot excuse taking the spotlight off of a main character because the wieners secondary (tertiary even) character is now the big bad and final threat. i'm just...uhg. Graydon is a wiener, and he has his purposes, but this isn't one of them. "extra dimensional tech will make this easy' yeah, uhhu, sure. you know what would've made this make sense; us seeing HOW we got this cool maybe. because you give the wiener a shiny gun doesn't mean we will immediately think he's cool and capable; it just makes him look like a wiener with a gun and make we should duck because he's probably doing to accidentally shoot himself with it.

and how do you know about that! you weren't part of the Pit Gang conversations. bad writing!!

so Logan takes the Pit Gang (trio really at this point) to his apocalypse bunker. and they fight bears. this is padding.

no it wasn't, stop lying Logan

cut to teh Greenhouse...

THE BOI IS BACK!!!!! where was he? what's he been doing? IDK AND IDC!! he's not dead, he's still here, he's in a panel. i'm not even paying attention to the rest of the page, what's going on...

Black Tom is making them a vegetable plane to go help Laura cause the them got her help texts. mk. and Cuckoo is getting a text from Quint-head that Vic is breaking out of the Audrey Two

and cut back to Logan and friends, and he's in adamantium armor with a Muramasa blade. yeah...lame. if this was to sell action figures maybe, but we don't do that anymore these days. so this is just uhg. also, didn't Laura have one of these getups? are we now repeating the OTHER Wolverine because we don't have enough new ideas???

whelp, this one wasn't so bad (why'd it warrant such a comedic warning idk lol). we progressed a bit, we got some flashbacks, we got a lot of dumb padding/stretching. but Arkady is confirmed still here, and in part 8, so i'll take it. (still not convinced my conspiracy theory that he was originally supposed to be dead in part 1 and it was changed last second isn't true...he has no lines in these 2 pages and could've been added in after the fact...he still isn't in the opening lineups yet Aurora and Northstar are and they haven't appeared in a couple issues)

[sweeneytoddblog]

Review of 2023 Sweeney Todd cast album

The other day I noticed that this was revival was announced a year ago now. I have been waiting so long that I had to remind myself not to have impossibly high expectations.

Overall, it's a decent album and it gets the job done: good performances, good orchestrations, and stylistically is more similar to the original show than any of the other cast recordings. However, I am not sure I would consider it the definitive album.

This is going to be a brief and not-super-detailed review, just wanted to get down all my major thoughts!

For me, the highlight is Josh Groban. No, I haven't seen him live, but I cannot imagine disliking him on vocal performance alone. If I go back to listen to this over the 1979 album this fall, it will probably be because of him. My other favorites were John Rapson as Beadle Bamford (so over the top it was amazing) and Nicholas Christopher as Pirelli.

With the amount of times that somebody said "26 piece orchestra" when promoting this show, I made sure to pay special attention to the instrumentals. The orchestrations were beautiful, but I was also disappointed, because I remembered hearing several new orchestrations in the live recording, and I was excited to hear them professionally recorded for the first time. Sadly, they didn't make an appearance.

One issue I had was the accents, and hey, NO ONE'S accent is perfect in this. But in the case of Annaleigh Ashford, it is a major distraction. Her bizarre pronunciations actually take away from her singing at times. She also came in at lower energy than I was expecting, and I suspect she was focusing too hard on the dialect (I cannot say how this compares to her stage presence). This being said, she still has a better voice than a lot of Mrs. Lovett's, and definitely a unique take. And I will say that there were still times I felt I could understand what she was saying better than Angela Lansbury.

Personally, I don't think authenticity to Cockney accents is really that big of a deal with this show, especially with such an American cast, so I could have done without (I mean, Len Cariou and George Hearn don't even attempt British accents to begin with, and I usually don't notice.) This is also something I noticed with Maria Bilbao, who is an excellent Johanna other than her weird vowels.

The lowest point for me is Jordan Fisher, who really sticks out like a sore thumb among the rest of the cast. I felt he was noticeably lacking in vocal power. On a more personal level, I also am just not a huge fan of Gaten Matarazzo's voice, and I dislike Ruthie Ann Miles' characterization of Lucy.

Overall, the album feels like it was designed as a collection of singles rather than a comprehensive recording of the show. There were several choices that tipped me off to this:

The arrangement of songs such as "Johanna" and "Not While I'm Around" to make the lyrics flow more seamlessly as a "stand-alone" song rather than a piece of the plot

Omission of plot-relevant dialogue and sound effects

Absence of some shorter ballads, "Wigmaker Sequence," and most of "Parlor Songs" (which REALLY sucks because we rarely even see the full version that appears in this show anymore)

When I listen to Sweeney Todd, I usually listen to the whole album in one go (or maybe just Act 1, or just Act 2.) So for me this direction wasn't what I wanted or expected. Personally I enjoy all the dialogue on the 1979 album as it helps to immerse me in the story, and I also think it would be helpful for anyone unfamiliar with the show.

The more glaring issue is that Judge Turpin's role is greatly reduced. Without any of his scenes with dialogue or "Mea Culpa," I feel like I barely know who the character is based on this album. He appears a few times, lacks his big solo, and we don't really hear anyone talk about him that much. I don't know, I'm tempted to go back and see what his presence is like on the other cast albums now? But he seemed to be somewhat forgotten amongst all the characters.

I have listened to the whole thing twice now and I can't say for sure whether I will come to prefer it over other albums and casts. But I definitely found it to be worth revisiting, and Josh Groban's Sweeney in particular has me in love. However, I have a feeling that the 1979 album will always be first in my biased heart.

[callioope]

fencing update ~ equipment rant

I have three assembled practice ("dry") blades and three electric blades. (The "dry' blades just mean they have a rubber tip at the end and they do not have a wire running through them, so they cannot be connected to the scoring equipment.)

I also have several spare blades (three again, I think?) that are not assembled with a guard or grip.

At the new school I joined, they fence electric for the whole class. Not how my previous instructor back in the day used to run things, fwiw, which may be relevent in a second.

So, of my three electric blades, one is broken. When I audited my equipment back in November 2020 (when I first started writing the rebelcaptain fencing AU!), I found it that way. I don't remember if it broke at one of the last classes I went to 15 years ago, or if it broke at some point during storage, but that's how I found it. (After that I invested in some PVC pipes to protect my blades moving forward.)

Another blade is this kind of fancy one that I won at my last tournament at my club. (Not an official tournament, just one that my instructor ran for all his students.) It is very pretty; the blade has this blue tint iirc (I haven't looked at it since 2020). It hasn't had much use because it was a prize. But also because it has a slightly different angle to it than any of my other blades, and a part of me is like, "is this legal*? was this assembled correctly? was this assembled intended to be used or just a showpiece?** assuming it was legal when it was assembled is it still legal?"

*legal in regards to fencing rules

**i'm sure I knew the answers to these at the time i received it but have i mentioned it's been fifteen years?

So in other words I'm just a ittle weary of using it.

Finally we come to my last blade. This is the one i've been using the past four or so classes I've attended. Now, all my blades are old, and I couldn't say how much use they've gotten since originally purchased/received. I can guess the fancy blue one that I'm afraid to use ... wasn't used much back in the day either. But this one? No clue. I've been perpetually worried it could break at any moment.

Compounded with this worry is the fact that it just is slightly bent at the end in the wrong direction. Fencing blades usually have a slight bend and for me, as a right-handed fencer, that's usually a little towards the left, but this bends a little right. And I am fighting this bend every time I fence.

Last Sat the instructor kept telling me to fix my blade, "you'll hit more if you fix it" like yes. i know. this blade will not Bend. and i'm afraid if i work it too hard it's going to break.

so he was helping me with the lesson and he's repeating himself that it's not bent right and goes to fix it himself and I'm like, "yeah, I'm afraid it's going to--"

*crack*

"--break."

We examined it and it didn't *appear* to be broken and it functioned okay -- still scoring correctly and such once I hooked up to the scoring machine. But. I'm also a little worried that the moment I untape it, it WILL fall apart. (Typical to tape the... idk 5 or 6 inches at the end of the blade.) and I do need to retape it bc the tape is peeling.

All this to say -- I'm fast approaching the period where I will need to change out these two broken blades (assuming the last blade is broken) with my spare blades. AND. I. DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT! I don't know if my former instructor taught me and i forgot, taught me and I didn't pay attention at the time, or didn't teach me.

I'm a bit nervous about doing it right bc I'm sure it's complicated. I mean basically you have the button at the very tip of the blade, the spring that goes behind it, the wire that connects the button to the socket in the guard, the blade, the guard, and the grip. And like. also. I am not even sure if -- like I think you're supposed to make sure the blade you have will fit the grip and that the end point of the blade that screws into the grip doesn't poke out the end of the grip and. ;aksdf UGH

all this to say that I REALLY need to audit my fencing gear again and i keep intending to do it after my kid goes to sleep at night and EVERY NIGHT. it's like. 'but i'm cold and sleepy and want to snuggle under the blankets' and then here i am. like. UGH another night i did not audit my equipment. if i do not fix what i have I am going to have to use the fancy prize blade and hope that it is in fact allowed.

[tarnishedxknight]

Ashelia listened attentively to Faegalad as she spoke of the various afterlives her people and others believed in. She was quiet, taking in every detail and wondering at them all, for they were different than her own. She did not know what Dwarves or Hobbits were, nor did she know what Elves were, save for Faegalad herself. She had never heard of Arda or Mandos or any of the other names the other mentioned, but Ashelia did her best to keep up and pay attention. It wasn't until Faegalad had finished that she finally responded.

"The... Gift of Men..." she repeated. "Forgive me, but I do not see how leaving forever is very much of a gift to those left behind. Perhaps the gift, the luxury of that freedom, is meant only for the dead to embrace," she mused. "The living must continue on to suffer without the comfort of their loved ones." In that way, she could see how it was a gift... to eventually be released not only from body and this earth but also from the burden of things like grief and guilt.

"There are-... were cultures in Ivalice who believe in reincarnation for the virtuous, or in a place of honor that warrior souls would spend their eternal rest, or in the persistence of spirits after death as they wandered the earth. In Dalmasca, we believe we live on through our children, that our spirits are carried down through our bloodlines. My own is-... was... traceable back some seven hundred years. But now... I suppose it may end with me. I am the last of my line, and my husband perished before we ever had the chance to have children. I've had no thought of taking another. I fear he would meet with the same fate if I did." But that was perhaps too personal and she ought to move from this topic.

"I wish, instead, that things were as you described them, that that is what I could also believe. That men leave and are freed from this earth when they die. I was tricked once... One of the gods appeared before me, but not as itself, not at first. No, it stole my husband's visage, made me believe it was his ghost... and I foolishly fell for it. 'Twas Basch and others who had to pull me from my guilt and naïve gullibility, and only then did the god show itself. Even though I know that was nothing more than cruel manipulation, ever since that happened, I cannot help but wonder... Was his soul wandering the earth, unable to rest? Is it still?" She shook her head and turned away for a moment, as if to physically shake the thoughts from her mind.

Ashelia wasn't sure she fully bought that was just as good as anyone else at comforting others despite her young age. "I had a dear friend in my own time. His name was Basch. He was my father's knight captain but I've known him all my life and he was sometimes charged with my protection. Basch was far better at comforting others than I," Ashelia said with a soft smile. "He had done so for me many a time over the years. I wish I had half of his patience and quiet wisdom. Most days, I feel like a screaming child, raging and flailing clumsily at things she cannot control, and all the while I think of how steady he remained. How measured." She glanced back at Faegalad. "You remind me of him, with how calm and noble you are. Is... is that something learned, or must one be born naturally with it? If it can be learned, then I hope to someday." She wanted to learn it before she became queen, but... now that was never to happen. And what a great sadness she would always carry within herself because of that.

Although she would never say it for fear of prying into matters much too personal or perhaps even insulting Faegalad, Ashelia wondered if she really would be fine as she said she would be, or if it was merely something that was said. She'd known Basch for many years before coming to this time, and during those years, she'd known him to say he was fine more times than she could count. But... he wasn't really. She could see that, for she'd known him so well. Was that true of Faegalad as well? If so, Ashelia was most definitely concerned for her, knowing full well the pain of her situation. But if not, well then she would be rude to assume.

All this talk of grief had Ashelia feeling as though all her carefully restrained emotions might burst out at any moment. And when Faegalad said she wasn't drowning, that struck her in just the wrong way and her eyes flooded with tears. "I am, though," she said, a little sob escaping her before she slapped her hand over her mouth and turned away. "It is too much to lose, all at once!" she blurted out. "I had lost so many, so much already... and then to lose all that was left, including my hope and my purpose..." No, no, no, you cannot fall apart now. Are you some sniveling child or one of royal blood and bearing?

She kept her hand over her mouth, physically trying to hold in what emotionally was now pouring out of her. It was not until she felt she could speak normally that she turned back and collected herself. "Forgive me, I forgot myself for a moment," she said. "I shall not burden you with my troubles, for the gods know you have enough of your own," she breathed out softly. "And it is as you say, that we must carry on and bear this burden, no matter how heavy it becomes. We bear it because we must," she said with a nod. That... was a belief Ashelia could get behind. It reminded her so much of Dalmascan stubbornness and determination. Dalmascans were not ones to yield easily, after all.

"Yes, a friend, I would like that," she said with a smile despite that her eyes were still red. "I've not a friend in the world, right now, so..." It was not that the Avengers were not kind, but Ashelia did not label one a friend easily. Acquaintances, yes. Perhaps something more later on. But right now, she felt quite alone. But Faegalad understood her in a way no one else of this time period did, and that alone made her a definitely candidate for friendship. Her smile widened and she felt a twinge of pain in heart as Faegalad said she was stronger than she gave herself credit for. "Basch used to say the very same to me, whenever I would doubt myself. Perhaps when you say it, I can believe it, as I did when he did as well."

"Immortal...?" Ashelia asked, her eyes widening a little at the idea. "I thought only the gods were immortal. But I suppose there is much of this world that I do not understand," she said with a humble sadness. She had seen and heard more in the past couple months of waking up in this time period than she ever thought was possible, so why not immortals as well? "I shouldn't think I would like to be immortal," she mused. "Twenty years has left me more of pain and loss than of joy. If that is what life is, then I do not need an eternity of it. One lifetime is more than enough."

She merely had been thinking aloud, however once she said it, Ashelia realized how rude she was coming across. "Oh, I... I did not mean to imply that your immortal life was... not worth living." She winced. "Forgive me, I have been misspeaking and stumbling in my words for weeks now. I suppose I have yet to steady myself since I awoke in this time, and so my mind remains scattered." It was no excuse, but it was an explanation. Even so, she felt rude and regretted her words.

Faegalad looked so... solemn. Wise. Forlorn. Ashelia's brow gently furrowed as her lips pressed together briefly in consideration of all the reasons that could be. She had lived a lot longer, and so had lost so much more. Ashelia could not fathom all that Faegalad had lost, or all that she could not return to, or all that she could no longer find or have. It must be... an insurmountable amount of pain. Or perhaps it would be... for a mortal. "Would that I could offer you some words of comfort to help at all with what you must be going through, but... I fear the words of a mortal as young as myself would fall so short of the mark of adequacy as to do more harm than good," she said quite honestly, at a bit of a loss.

She was embarrassed and ashamed of having prattled on for so long. Surely this woman - this immortal being - had better things to do than listen to the ramblings of a child... for surely that is what Ashelia was to Faegalad. But she'd felt a kinship with her, because no one else here understood what she was going through. Even the one called Steve Rogers, who had supposedly suffered a similar fate and was from a time approximately a century ago, she felt did not quite understand. He'd lost much, yes, but... he could read in books how things had turned out. He could go to museums, visit those still living, browse archives... and know what became of loved ones, cities, and countries he cared for. But Ashelia's world was lost to time. No one here had ever heard of Ivalice or anything within it. It was as if it had all never existed. Although Ashelia was sorry that Faegalad had the same problem, it was comforting to not be the only one.

But as Faegalad told Ashelia that she should allow herself to feel her sadness and loss, she shook her head. "That is just it, though. I am afraid that if I do let myself feel it, if I really stop to allow my thoughts to take hold and lob the full extent of their cruelty at me, that I shall never recover. You say that I have survived, but perhaps that has been because I do not permit my grief to find footing within my heart. Perhaps I am not as strong as I once thought, but if I do not allow myself to dwell on my grief, then I shall never have to find out." And...? There was one more reason she shied away from letting herself properly mourn. "I... I am afraid to let the pain in."

It was such a simple answer that Faegalad gave in response to Ashelia's question. She endures because she must. And must I not also do the same? Ashelia listened attentively as Faegalad spoke, now feeling even more shame that she had been wallowing in her own self-pity while this regal being pressed onward with such dignity. She was the last of her people, and so she must continue on for them. Was the same not true of Ashelia? She was the last Ivalician, the last Dalmascan, the last of those of Dynast lineage. If she succumbed, then she did so not only for herself... but for all she held dear.

She nodded. "I am, almost certainly, the last of my kind," she said. "And so I, too, must endure. I shall let your proud and brave example of such perseverance inspire me to do the same, to do as I must. Thank you for speaking with me. I hope I have not wasted too much of your time," she said politely, hoping the other understood how much this conversation had been needed and appreciated. "I shall endeavor to be stronger in the future, for I cannot go about sulking and sobbing like a child for the rest of my days."

[terpia]

I'm so mad. I just got to the end of Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery and Other Stories' and I didn't realise until the second to last story that the name 'Harris' isn't just a recurring name by accident, but that 'Jim Harris' was in fact the central, titular character of the second short story in the collection ('The Daemon Lover') and that all the other Jim Harrises in the book are probably thematically connected to him (or maybe even the same character??). All the symbolism I misseeeeeeed

[livingalifeofasimp]

☘️𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖓 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖈𝖙

𝕴𝖓

🎀𝕴𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖎 𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖆🎀

You got teleported into a Novel called Love or Hate, where a villianess of an influencing family gets jealous of people around Crown Prince and tries to kill everyone especially his beloved and meets unfortunate death.

𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕡𝕒𝕕 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥

Click on the link for more information, If the link doesn't work then please be kind enough to inform me, Thank you💮💮💮

🖤 𝓩𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* On getting into the novel as Villianess and not being able to go back to your world you decided to stop going down the path of original Novel Plot but make your own and live a life in luxury away from all the characters. Your first step was to break the engagement with Crown Prince, who was surprised when he heard you say that to him, you were just so in love with him and then after being unconscious for almost a week you decided to break off the engagement.

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* Zhongli could not understand why you would do such thing and you knew he will fall in love with the Heroine when she appears, you told your father to annual it, since you understood that the affection holds no value in Crown Prince's eyes, but Zhongli wasn't able to digest this piece of information, when he tries to approach you, you run away, avoid him at any cost, he realizes how important you are to him, so he rejects your request to annual the engagement even after you nearly begged him and promises you that he will cherish you now on, leaving you thinking what went wrong.

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* You sat with pen and paper tried to sort everything out, although Crown Prince was trying to win your favor back by sending you gifts, letters and asks for your audience only to get ghosted by you, getting involved with him will give you nothing but a miserable fate, no matter how handsome the Characters are you refused to acknowledge them any further. Now it felt like Zhongli clingys to you more than anything.

💛𝓐𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

ﾟ･:*༻*:･ﾟWhen your carriage stopped infront of your state you saw Aether was there waiting for you, he told you that he heard you were trying to annual the engagement, for a minute you forgot how fast news spread in this era, Aether had a happy glow on his face, he told you that you deserve better. At some point you knew that Aether grows distant from Villianess in Novel Plot but the case here was totally different now he invites you or comes to you uninvited.

ﾟ･:*༻*:･ﾟYou don't stop him tho, he became your bestfriend, he taught you horse riding, sword fighting and helped you in all those things you were interested in. Thanks to Aether your bad dancing got better, you always wondered how he never go tired dancing with you, when you step on his foot unintentionally during practices. Physical touches increases slightly, you don't doubt it since it's normal for friends to hug a second more right?

❤️𝓓𝓲𝓵𝓾𝓬

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Since there was nothing better to do, you started to put your hands on family business and was sent to pay visit to the business partner. To your surprise when you saw Diluc, he looked just like the Novel described him to be, stern, stoic and cold. His presence was intimidating but you had to win this opportunity so you confidently placed your views even when your legs were shaking under the gown you were wearing, you put your hands together and pursued him.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Diluc seemed so lonely, he had no one to worry about him, just him and his thoughts. So you decided to greet him with smile and ask about if he ate his meals properly because he skipped them for one or two days due to his loads of work, which was bad for his health, if he needed to fight with Crown Prince for Heroine then he should be healthy, so you took care of him while you were staying in his Mansion.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ At first he was wary of you but he eventually warmed up and when Diluc laughed in one of your jokes, you felt grateful to witness that because no one saw him smiling other than Heroine, he looked really beautiful. He said you were way too different than what the rumours described you to be, you were perfect. 

💚𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥ Bandits attached your Carriage, it was difficult to defeat them but with your escort and Aether's sword fighting training it became quite easy, even though you are not much of a sword fighter than Aether but you could protect yourself for once. When Crown Prince heard you were attacked he immediately assigned you his Loyal Knight who later becomes Imperial Knight respected by citizens, to which you obviously rejected but as persistent as he is you were made to accept the Knight for the time being since all the knights in your family are either afraid of you or not want to serve you and you had no fetish with working with someone who is not willing to be with you.

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥Xiao was very quite and skilled Knight so he was very attentive to your needs, and once caughted you, when you tripped on your gown while climbing staircase, due to which he got on his one knees and asked for your forgiveness. It left you speechless why would he do such thing? Ask for punishment instead of a thanks for saving your bones, you couldn't help but ask him, Xiao's answer made you clutch your fingers, he thought you, a noble lady would get disgusted by his touch since he is lowly born.

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥ You asked him to stand, Xiao is your favorite character who suffered so much and was never able to voice his love for Heroine, you holded his hands in yours, ignoring his body flinching and told him how he should not look down on himself, he is equal, everyone is equal since you all are humans and that you cherish him, he put his life to protect you. You said him all those things you wanted to when you read the Novel, not everything really but it left him blushing while you laughed walking ahead of him what a tsundere.

💙𝓚𝓪𝓮𝔂𝓪

☽༓✮･*˚ A handsome Mage Master kept on disturbing you, the smug looking guy who you meet in Local bars when you were out exploring about the Novel world, he helped you with your case to find out the solution to obtain the land for the project with Duke while giving you many riddles that exhausted you but seeing a worried Xiao was worth it when he says I don't care after nagging you for hours.

☽༓✮･*˚ You doubted if this guy was the one of the Male Leads who was owner of Mage tower because he was exceptional handsome, for a side Character to be so good looking is quite rare, but he debuted after the Grand ball so it couldn't be him, you debated. In Original Novel Plot they never described how he looked, but it was for sure he was popular among ladies. The guy introduced himself as Kaeya, who sometimes requests your presence in Mage tower, only VIP guest were allowed and when you asked him how he managed to get the permission he says it is one of his ways, suspicious enough.

☽༓✮･*˚ You eventually spend more time with him than required which sometimes anger Aether since your time with him reduced, of course you haven't told anything about him to anyone. To save himself, he once introduced you to the group of women flirting with him as his girlfriend. Kaeya sends his familiar in butterfly form for the most stupidest message through your window to which you react differently depending on your mood. 

"How are you my Lady?"

"Am I allowed to miss you?"

"When will you visit me?"

"Have you been using me all this time?, I am heart broken T_T Heal me!"

🧡𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓭𝓮

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* Strong hand holded you securely, as you danced with him, who was wearing black laced mask in Masquerade ball organized by King for a yearly festival which you were forced you to attend by your Father and Crown Prince. One of the guys asked for you to dance with him, as per tradition one cannot reject the another requesting party, otherwise you would have been eating the food served for guests, imperial food is on another level, Zhongli sometimes tries to lure you to spend time with him by making such excuses.

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* The stranger pulled you even more closer saying that you are looking much more prettier than before, your first meeting but you did not recognized him or so you thought, and he told you that you are known as the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom, neighboring Kingdoms takes interest in you. You do remember the guy who helped you in fighting with Bandits both of them have the same hair color and playfulness in their voice.

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* When you asked him about it, if he was the guy from before to which he replied maybe, leaving you in the middle of the dance and bended in the crowd, Mysterious as Childe you thought, whoever he was, you hoped for him to not bring more problems than you already have. A groaning voice of Crown Prince from behind made you turn around questioning you why you danced with other guys than your fiance, you never thought a composed man as Zhongli would whine to you for such a small thing.

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳all the king's men ♡ ☾

in which all the king's men couldn't put the pieces of y/n l/n together. we all have the days where we're insecure and broken, this is one of hers.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±1.8k

tw: insecurity, bullying

please if you are having overly harmful thoughts about yourself, talk to a friend or a professional. you are perfect the way you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

it's so sad that the best people tend to think the worst of themselves

all the king's men

y/n, for lack of a better description, was feeling like humpty dumpty. she had seen herself in the mirror last night, and felt positively traumatised. she had come back from a quidditch practice session, and the results were quite terrifying.

she didn't understand. quidditch made the guys more toned and even a few of her teammates had abs. what did it do to her? well, it made her shoulders broad, which she thought was highly unattractive to anyone, and not at all slim! sure, it was fun and kept her fit, but terribly horrible, in her opinion, in trying to fit in to the beautiful girls that went to hogwarts.

she admired angie johnson and cho chang and ginny. she really did. y/n knew how hard it was to be beautiful, and she liked when other people were so beautifully beautiful. it just made her feel terrible, because what was the chance of her keeping her boyfriend in fred weasley when fiercely pretty girls were dancing elegantly around her?

there wasn't any time to be mopey and sad, so she gathered all her books and immediately went to breakfast. she didn't even bother going over to fred and greeting him. she saw how happy he was laughing with george and lee. surely she wouldn't bother him. instead she plopped down next to alicia.

"you ok?" alicia spinnet asked her.

she nodded, "fine."

"you sure?"

"no."

"wanna talk about it?"

"do you think it's too early to get plastic surgery?" y/n joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"what the fuck, no. what's up?" alicia's eyes were lit with concern.

"i don't feel pretty," her voice was but a whisper.

alicia caught it.

"why? you're literally adorable."

"you're my best friend, you're supposed to tell me that."

"hmm, nah, i truly believe it."

"well i don't," y/n said miserably.

"oi, l/n, your hair down today?" adrian pucey snarled, "it's gonna give me aids."

a few students snorted.

"you can get aids then. shut your mouth," y/n retorted back.

the whole school look startled. was this the same, prefect, goody-two-shoes y/n l/n?

adrian pucey opened his mouth.

"i said shut. your. mouth."

fred weasley watched in a mixture of furiousness and pride. he knew that pucey had a crush on y/n too. he was just terrible in expressing it. fred didn't like the way y/n's eyes sadly flitted to alicia afterwards. and she hadn't come up to him and given him a kiss today. maybe she just wanted a bit of space??

"see?" y/n sighed, "not even my hair is pretty." she tied it up.

alicia laughed, "adrian just wants your attention."

that made y/n laugh. "why? why?" it was a rhetorical question. she got up, and smiled at adrian in the most menacing way that he shrunk.

"miss l/n, your outburst was quite rude-" snape began.

"my apologies professor, of course, i was in the wrong. adrian pucey brought the topic surrounding my hair up, called it ugly. now what would you do if a student called your hair ugly?" y/n said, eyes burning with fury but conscience too good to lose her temper.

"i-i would give them a scolding."

"likewise. good day, professor."

"fucking hell, he is such a sh-" alicia muttered as she got up and followed y/n out to class.

"ali, that's enough," their retreating voices could be heard.

fred kept his eye on y/n through the day, giving her the space he thought she needed.

she looked very like her normal self, until she encountered pucey again.

"l/n, nice squinty eyes," pucey laughed.

y/n's shoulders sagged. her eyes dimmed and she let her ponytail fall in front of her face.

"ponytail won't fix them," he laughed meanly, "can they fix your dumpling body?"

fred frowned deeply, "fuck off, adrian," he angrily said, "that's my girlfriend you're talking to."

"oh, you have someone like weasley to save you? i don't even think you deserve him as a boyfriend."

y/n didn't answer, fearing that tears would spill out of her eyes. she had just been feeling worse and worse about herself. instead, when the bell signalled the end of classes, she hurried quickly off to wherever, trying to pull herself together.

she felt like she was at the bottom of the earth. her eyes finally let go of the tears that needed to be spilt. she leant sobbing against a stout tree in the forbidden forest, head slumped gloomily against the trunk, eyes trying to find anything, anything, that could be remotely comforting and hands fiddling nervously with the flowers that bloomed happily around her. her whole body shook in anxiety. she wished she had her mum or dad here to help her. but they were back at home.

how did fred love her?

she wished she didn't have stupid hair or squinty eyes or a dumpling body. but she couldn't ignore the mean, yet so true, remarks about her body adrian made. they were morally wrong and he deserved to be stabbed, but they were factual. she used to just laugh and joke about him too, but now she realised that maybe she should pay more attention to the way she eats and works and the way she talks and looks and presents herself and put more makeup on and-

fred found her crying there, by the little pond, shrinking away from the mere sight of her own appearance. he didn't get it.

well, he did, but he didn't know why such a beautiful girl like his girlfriend was crying.

"y/n?"

she flinched and stopped crying.

"sorry, i'll leave. i don't think you want a dumpling of a girlfriend sharing this nice space," she attempted to joke, but it fell short. she wasn't joking anymore. her tone was serious and genuine. the unexpected good nature pucey's remarks were received in usually was gone, and for good reason. it had broken her into the tiniest little pieces.

fred felt it. he felt his heart stop.

"is this about what pucey said to you, lovely?" he asked gently, cupping her cheek, and pulling her close to him.

she nodded, feeling immensely better already. the smell of him made her calm down insanely.

"so you don't want space?"

"n-no, i was just..." she trailed off uncertainly.

"mhm?" he looked at her and waited.

"it's silly."

"well, it's got you crying, i don't think so."

"the stuff a-adrian says is true," her voice was quiet and small.

fred frowned.

"i'm not cute or elegant or even hot," she continued, "i-i'm not as pretty as anyone here."

"well, my little love, if my opinion even matters, you are stunning. i think you're the prettiest person in the world, both on skin and in here," he patted his own heart, "do you know how long i pined after you?"

"no?"

"i'm still pining after you, gorgeous."

"d-do you mean it when you say gorgeous?" her eyes were broken and teary.

"of course. it hurts me when you are upset. because you are gorgeous and much more because you are so nice and good to me and to everyone else too. pucey's a complete shithead and when i next see him i will bash his head in. i'm so sorry i didn't notice, love, i thought you were mad at me."

"no it's fine, i just don't understand. you're fred weasley. so many girl's want you and you-you choose...me?," a sad frown was etched on her face, her tone confused.

"y/n, you're my only choice. i don't want the other girls. i can see the appeal of you. i-i know i'm not the best with words like you, but i really care about you. i love you, i adore you, you're the bestest person i've ever met."

and he knows he's brought the happiness back in her. she giggled. he felt relieved, because he knew he wasn't good at all at comforting people and y/n was so special to him- why didn't he say that earlier to her?

"bestest isn't a word, freddie."

"well you get what i mean, right? you're really special to me," there it was.

she nodded slowly, a small smile forming on her lips as she kissed him on the lips, before snuggling closer to him.

"darling, wouldn't you rather go back to the castle to cuddle?"

hesitantly, she shook her head.

"why?"

"'drian's there."

"adrian cannot hurt you, okay? whatever he tells you is wrong. he's wrong," he gently says, pulling her close to him, "besides, if he does, i'm here, and you're strong."

"i just cried about it, i can't be strong."

"crying doesn't mean you're weak, darling, sometimes we all cry and that's okay."

y/n nodded.

"here, i brought this for you, maybe it's a comfort??" he blushed as he handed her his quidditch hoodie.

she grinned and put it on.

he couldn't stop blushing at the sight of her, so he tilted his face away to save himself the embarrassment.

noticing and mistaking his turned away head for disgust, y/n took the hoodie off, downcastedly handing it back to him.

"sorry," she gave a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as fred looked at her in confusion.

"y-you can have it back, yeah, there's no need to hide your shame, here, s-sorry," she stuttered out.

"shame?" he asked, looking worriedly down at her.

"mhm," she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, "sorry."

he finally understood.

"angel, look at me."

she reluctantly looked up at him.

"i wasn't feeling disgusted at all. i-i was actually embarrassed because i was blushing," his cheeks heated up again, "like i probably am right now. you're too beautiful. i was blushing too much."

"oh."

"yeah. now put it back on," he demanded, as he cheekily tugged the jumper over her head, blushing again as he saw her standing there in his jumper.

"c'mon!" he said, carrying y/n's school bag as they made their way to the castle, his arm wrapped protectively around his waist and the bright gold letters on the back of his sweater shining for anyone and everyone to see.

they didn't see pucey, thank goodness and they ended up talking with george and katie bell and angie and alicia by the fire.

as y/n smiled and giggled with katie over something highly scandalous, fred had his eyes on her, not so much monitoring her, but he couldn't keep them off of her.

when he had noticed her words start to become short and slightly slurred by tiredness, he lead her back to her dormitory.

"feeling better princess?"

she nodded, "you're so good to me, freddie. i love you."

it made his heart swell with happiness.

"i'd go to the moon and back for you, y/n."

she smiled drowsily, "and i, you."

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Anonymus asked: Skimblegus + Asparagus’ POV (tumblr ate the ask)

So I, for fear of trust, forget to say

The perfect ceremony of love’s rite,

And in mine own love’s strength seem to decay,

O’ercharg’d with burthen of mine own love’s might.

- Sonnet 23, William Shakespeare

As with most of his acquaintances, Asparagus meets Skimbleshanks through Jennyanydots. 

Jenny is, bless her heart, a walking, talking social club. And who Jenny knows, Jellylorum knows (of course), and who Jelly knows, Asparagus, ultimately, gets to know as well. That’s the way it’s always been, to varying levels of success. It wasn't that he was incapable of going out and making his own acquaintance - he was perfectly capable, thank you - he just had little desire to. He already had enough friends that he enjoyed being around. Why bother going out and making more when all he really had to do, if he really did want new ones, was wait around until somecat appeared? 

That's how it happened when Jennyanydots came back to the Junkyard one morning dragging an unfamiliar tom behind her. He looked vaguely perplexed - as though he wasn't sure how he'd gotten there. Knowing Jenny, that was a very likely possibility.

They had made their introductions. Well, Jelly had anyway; if Jennyanydots was President of their social club, Jellylorum was just a step under. Asparagus didn't have to do much other than nod politely and reach for his paw. Skimbleshanks had bowed his head and reached his paw out in turn. It was warm, he recalls, and slightly shaky. Or maybe that was his own; hard to tell. 

"Didn't I tell you - such a nice tom. And very handsome, too," Jenny had whispered to Jelly, though Asparagus had only caught the tail end of it. He was too busy trying to keep the details straight as they all chatted, and trying to politely avert his eyes when Skimbleshanks turned on him, lest he think he was staring at him. 

Which he wasn't. 

Not with any alternative intent anyway - just curiosity.

For whatever reason, when the girls finally step back, Skimbleshsnks takes an interest in Asparagus. Whether it was genuine or just polite, he couldn't figure, but they got to know each other regardless. They had to - they were presumably set to run in the exact same circle. It would be awkward otherwise.

Asparagus has been told, more than once, that he’s rather eclectic in the conversation and social department. And he could see their reasoning; he was very much in the habit of flitting from topic to topic in a way that only seemed to make logical sense in his own head. But then, that was perhaps less so eclectic and more because he wasn't in the habit of talking often enough to practice his turn of phrase; usually Jellylorum did enough talking for the both of them, and he got away with nodding and listening. That is what he did best, after all: listening.

And he does plenty of listening to this new tom, who is bright eyed and quick witted and, quite frankly, could charm a snake right out of a basket. 

Skimbleshanks, he finds out, is not just new to their Junkyard, he's new to the country entirely. Asparagus, having grown up around cats from various different places, takes the information in stride with interest but little fanfare. When asked if he were just visiting, Skimbleshanks had made a vague, uncertain noise and left it at that. He instead listens to polite exchange, his flights of fancy, the extent of his trip, various nothings that transpire between them, and Asparagus takes it all in, nodding and, occasionally, prompting him further. 

Eventually he speaks to him, as he does any other, and he cannot help but note how Skimbleshanks listens intently to what he says in turn, even as his knee bounces with what he presumes to be nervous energy. Skimbleshanks seems full of nervous energy, should his darting eyes and twitching tail be any indication. But he never once stops paying attention, even as the topics ping-pong back and forth. He parrots back what he's told, he asks questions, he smiles and jokes and follows along. And Asparagus indulges himself in conversation, if only for the joy of being listened to; he seemed a very nice tom indeed.

-*-*-

Having apparently made a good impression, their first meeting becomes a prelude to many, many, many meetings afterwards. Exaggeration notwithstanding - it very much goes from not having known the tom before, to knowing just about everything about him in the span of several days. 

My, how he liked to talk, and my, my, he was difficult to fully keep up with. This Asparagus has come to know well. And, strangely, he doesn't mind at all.  

Skimbleshanks, Asparagus has also come to know, is always and constantly on the go. At all hours of every day - there is always somewhere he needed to be.

“I’m afraid I have to go," Skimbleshanks says at the tail end of the first week of their budding acquaintanceship, looking genuinely remorseful. 

Asparagus tilts his head, curious; slightly disappointed. He does not ask him why- perhaps he fills in a few blanks unfairly. 

"But I'll be back in a few days," he continues, tail perking up. "I've been invited back to your Junkyard, did you hear? Jenny's been quite insistent. And I think I'll take the invitation up - I quite like it here."

Of course he'd been invited to stay. Skimbleshanks had slotted neatly into their group like he'd been there the entire time. How he seemed to get on with practically everyone he came across was a feat in itself, but hardly a surprise. He was polite and agreeable - if a bit fussy - and had a way of endearing cats to him instantly. The girls love him, the kittens love him; even Old Deuteronomy loves him, according to Jenny's report (though he loves all cats). Him staying on wasn't so much of a question of them, but of Skimble himself. And, as luck should have it, he was more than happy to stay.

Asparagus barely catches the next words, too hung up on how pleased he was that the other tom was staying. "I do hope to see you again! You're an interesting sort and I'd like to continue this, if you would."

Almost bashfully, Asparagus glances down. "I won't be far."

When he looks back up, Skimbleshanks has disappeared. Marvelous, Asparagus thinks, bemused - he's a magician, too.

-*-*-

Skimbleshanks makes good on his word; Asparagus is always one of the first cats he seeks out when he comes back, and often the last he greets before flying off again. They've become such fast and good friends, Asparagus feels as though he'd known him all his life.

Being with Skimbleshanks had become…comforting in a way that Asparagus couldn't quite describe. As a creature of routine and habit, it became a familiarity he often fell back on, and it fit so well in his week to week that he welcomed it with open arms. It had become so comforting, in fact, that he found himself more so with his guard down than up. Odd. Usually it took him a lot longer than that to open up.

"Have you ever been to a picture show before?" Asparagus finds himself asking one day after his latest return, out of the blue, staring at a spot just above the wire fence. They had been talking on where they grew up - at least Asparagus thinks that's what they had been talking about. There had already been six tangents and they'd barely gotten past parentage. How he had gotten on the topic of film now, Cat only knew.

"You know?" Skimbleshanks trails off, clearly trying to remember. "I don't believe I have. Never had the chance. Not many theatres in the barn, you know?"

"You really must try it," Asparagus says cheerfully, feeling his tail tick as it did when he reached a topic that particularly interested him. "Remarkable things, they are. My father calls them new-aged rubbish, but there is something about them."

"I would love to, certainly." Skimbleshanks stretches, delicately adjusting his ear. "When are you available?"

The metronome swaying of Asparagus' tail paused, thrown off its rhythm. He glances towards his companion. "Pardon?"

"When are you available?" Skimbleshanks repeats, minding to annunciate. He laughs a little, though Asparagus wasn't certain what he found amusing. "I rather hoped you would come with me." 

Asparagus felt very much like a fish caught in a net, opening and closing his mouth dumbly, practically choking on his surprise. The other tom seemed to realize that he may have made an error the longer the silence stretched, and shifted on his haunches. "That was an invitation, wasn't it?"

Was it? Had he meant it as one? "I…I suppose?"

"Wonderful," he says, looking…tentatively relieved. "Tell me when is best for you, and I'll make time."

Asparagus struggles to keep the stammer from his voice. "I…alright."

"Alright!" the other tom echoes, clasping his paws together. "Apologies, but speaking of punctuality, I must be going. It was nice chatting with you, Asparagus, as always."

"Likewise."

Skimbleshanks turns on his heel with a grin and bounds away, leaving Asparagus staring after him, wondering what had just happened. Usually, when he brought up such things, it was treated as a passing fancy, maybe a brief flicker of interest. Not an…outing? Was that what this was? An outing?

Asparagus clears his throat, bewildered. Well, then. 

-*-*-

Skimbleshanks stifles a yawn as the two toms sneak out from the theatre's rafters and onto the roof next door. "That was rather long, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Asparagus returns, amused, carefully hopping down.

"Are they all that long?"

"Not all," Asparagus explains, leading his companion through the broken door and into the building. "Mind your head - they're a bit like live theatre in that they vary. The difference is that it's visually the same each time. But the music changes, depending on who's playing."

Skimbleshanks nods at the explanation. "I'll be honest - I don't think it's quite for me. At least not at that length. Next time maybe let's try a shorter one."

"Next time?" Asparagus echoes, watching as the other tom pauses in the sun filtering through one of the windows and closes his eyes. To be honest, Asparagus had hardly noticed the length of time that had passed since the two of them had settled in to watch; he'd been far too preoccupied.

"Aye, I like to give things a fair shot." 

Asparagus can't help the smile that tugs on his muzzle. Another admirable trait of his. Perhaps they'd skip the drama next time. He wondered what he'd have thought if he'd taken him to a live epic instead - wonders if he would have preferred that.  "Alright then. Thank you for coming with me this time."

"Thank you for taking me!" Skimbleshanks returns brightly, opening his eyes to face him. They seem to sparkle when they catch and Asparagus finds himself shifting under their intensity. "I do enjoy your company. You light up, you know, when you talk about these sorts of things."

Asparagus blinks, ears suddenly hot. "Do I?"

"Tremendously so. It's very charming."

Before he can think of how to respond to that, the other tom continues quickly:

"And thank you for reading the cards to me - I think I would have been more lost without them." He shakes his head and clasps Asparagus' shoulder. "You're very clever. You'll have to teach me to do that sometime."

"I'd…be happy to."

"Another time of course. Now, we must be going and I am not sure of the way. Walk me back, won't you? And maybe explain that plot once more; I've almost got it."

Asparagus exhales, trying to calm the tightening in his chest. "Certainly."

-*-*-

Asparagus feels…funny. 

That is not at all the appropriate terminology for the current push and pull playing tug of war with his insides, but all he can muster in his vernacular is "funny"; he feels awfully and truly funny. 

There is a reason for this sudden persistent feeling that has him even more distracted than usual, and Asparagus wouldn't classify himself as so scatterbrained that he didn't have an idea of what it was. But it wasn't so much the logic or reasoning that was shying away from the pinpointing, oh no; it was Asparagus himself. Asparagus himself second guessing and questioning every possible angle and motive, twisting himself in knots as he tries to convince himself that it was all just a…a coincidence. That's what it must be. A coincidence. Skimbleshanks is just a nice tom; he was nice to everyone. He wasn't paying Asparagus any more attention than he would any other cat. He wasn't being any kinder to him than he was to any other, telling him such things as he did. That was it, surely. Everything he'd said or done is just what friends did - and the two of them had become very good friends, hadn't they? The best of friends. He hadn't ever met anyone like Skimbleshanks before, who cared so much for what he had to say and seemed so interested in what he did, and Asparagus was very thankful for his company. 

He doesn't want to…hope too much - project too much - lest he ruin that entirely.

However, there is that inkling that scratches persistently at the back of his skull, just at the base where it's hardest to reach. And…he doesn't know what to do about it. It's all very confusing. 

In the end, he does what he always does: he calls upon the advice of the only cats he trusts enough to ask. Shame that they're the same cats that will have the news clear across the Junkyard in less time than it takes him to ask, but such is life.

He waits for an afternoon when it's just the three of them (four counting the surprise but always welcome visit from Hathor), as it had been for longer than he cared to remember. Asparagus sits amongst his friends, enjoying the warmth of the summer sun on his back, trying to figure the least conspicuous way to go about this as possible. Then again, Asparagus was anything but inconspicuous. It ran in the gene pool. The only way he could think to do it was simply ask.

"What is one to make of being complimented ad nauseum without reason?" 

"Speak plainly, Pan." Jellylorum rolls her eyes, not looking up from the frayed costume hem she was mending. "This isn't a monologue."

Asparagus wrinkles his nose, having half a mind to shove her if she didn't have a sewing needle in her paw. Hathor snickers, and he feels the heavy weight  of her tail hitting his side.

"I mean," he corrects, crossing his arms. "If somecat says nice things out of the blue all the time, what exactly does that mean?"

"Never received a compliment before, Asparagus?" Jenny teases, tightening the knotted cords of her fishing net with a crisp snap. 

"I have, but usually there was a reason for it," Asparagus clarifies, ear twitching. "As in I've done something worth complimenting." 

"So you haven't ever been complimented before, then," Jenny affirms cheekily.

The queens giggle in their shared amusement. Asparagus frowns at them. "Honestly, you three are terrible."

"You very much love us," Jenny coos, tossing her length of finished net behind her, leaning over to balance her chin in her paws. She grins at him, batting her lashes, and Asparagus rolls his eyes.

Jellylorum snips her working thread between her teeth and shifts her project aside, tucking her tail around herself and turning her attention fully towards him. She very much reminds him of their father then, sharp eyed and curious. "Alright, what's this about then? What's got you in such a tizzy?"

"I'm not in a tizzy," Asparagus insists.

“You’re in a something, don't think I haven't noticed!" Jelly points out, wagging a claw in his direction. "Go on: what is it?"

"I just…where's the line between simply being nice and being overly complimentary with an ulterior motive?"

"An ulterior motive? Come now, Pan," Jellylorum clucks. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Why else?" Asparagus points out.

His sister sighs in return, pressing the bridge of her nose between her paw pads. "Okay, I'll play along: what sorts of nice things?"

Asparagus picks carefully from his memory, plucking things here and there that made his insides feel particularly mushy - the comment on his eyes, the admiration of his coat, his voice, his stories - trying to paint a broad enough picture without exposing the entire composition. He'd prefer to keep some of his cards to the chest, lest things take a turn for the awkward when the cat in question came back.

When he finishes, the three queens exchange a raised glance and giggle once again. Suddenly, Asparagus is all too aware that he'd not been privy to several chapters in this particular book. They were near the end and he hadn't even cracked the spine yet. "What's so funny now?"

"Sounds to me that someone likes you," Jennyanydots teases, whacking Jellylorum's shoulder with the back of her paw knowingly. Hathor nods her agreement, eyes falling closed.

"I would certainly think so," Asparagus says sarcastically. "Otherwise why would they keep talking to me?"

"No, no, they like you, Asparagus," Jellylorum corrects, emphasizing the word slowly as she did when teaching kittens to talk. "You know, in that other way. Enamored. Infatuated. Charmed and besotted and all the rest."

Asparagus quiets, suspicions confirmed.

"I…see. You think so?"

"Are you really so surprised?" Jelly asks, tone amused, though it doesn't quite hide the note of pity in her voice. "You're very charming when you want to be."

"Problem is you don't want to be," Jenny pipes up, avoiding the scolding poke Jelly aims at her ribs. Her eyes sparkle with mischief. "But Jelly's right. Now your turn, tit for tat, who is it?"

Asparagus stands and shrugs casually, trying not to let on how the confirmation had sent him into more of a tizzy than before. "None of your business, but thank you for the clarification." 

He chuckles at the chorus of indignant protest that echo behind him as he turns heel and walks off. Simple pleasures. 

He finds out later that they very much knew who, nosy nellies that they were. They knew who and they were, by all accounts, thrilled. Turns out, he wasn't the only one confused and overthinking; a sign, perhaps, that they were a better match than he had initially thought. 

Too bad for them, then, that if their confirmation has done anything, it's stalled it further

-*-*-

Asparagus has been skittish most his life, and it is no different in matters that involved any sort of emotional vulnerability. 

That's why several months pass, completely uneventfully and exactly the same as before, and he still hasn't been able to admit to himself that perhaps…perhaps Skimbleshanks did, in fact, like him, just as Jelly had said.

What utter school-boy nonsense. Liked him. Asparagus scoffs.

Still, the thought itself is…not at all an unwelcome one. Not at all. Just an anxiety inducing one. Coupled with the possibility that Asparagus himself lo…likes…hmm. 

No, none of that, now.

Skirting the issue does give him the chance to get to know Skimbleshanks even better than he did before, which he is more than happy to oblige with.

Were it not for all of these extra thoughts tangling together in the corners of his mind, he would be in no doubt whatsoever that Skimbleshanks is perhaps one of the best friends he has ever had. He is so bright and eager and willing, always on the go, always on to something new and interesting, always whistling or humming or jingling the tiny bell around his neck. There were times he didn’t understand a single word coming out of the other tom’s mouth, fast talker he was (Often, Skimbleshanks would prelude his chatting with a: “Do stop me if I’m haverin’, won’t you?” and Asparagus ignores it wholeheartedly), but that was, quite frankly, a joy in itself. Their sensibilities matched in so many ways and their opposites complimented each other well enough, that Asparagus occasionally finds himself wondering where he’d been all this time. It was a shame he was gone so often, but perhaps that only upped the intrigue - made him appreciate his company more when they were together.

Better than all of that, Skimbleshanks seems to enjoy his company in turn. He must, considering; even as polite as he was, Skimble had proved himself to have a limited well of patience. When he didn’t like something, he told you so, no nonsense and straight for the jugular. Skimbleshanks enjoys his company and doesn't seem to mind anything else. He doesn't mind that Asparagus is clumsy and has two left paws, when he himself is possibly one of the most coordinated dancers Asparagus has ever had the pleasure of watching. Doesn't mind that he isn't nearly as interesting or exuberant as some of the other cats around their age he could be spending his time with. Doesn’t mind his dramatics and turn of phrase and lower energy and the humming of the same four bars that had been stuck in his head all morning as he tries to figure out their continuation; doesn’t mind his long stretched silences, doesn't mind his offbeat sense of humour, doesn’t mind reminding him what day it was even when he asks three times in the same hour. Doesn't mind any of it - or at least, he didn't seem to.

When Asparagus apologizes for any of these things, Skimbleshanks shakes his head and smiles, silencing it with a: “No need” or an: "I wish you wouldn't" or, stranger and more preturbing still, a request for him to continue whatever it was. 

And Asparagus is nothing but grateful. For his companionship. For his patience and his indulgence. For the serious tilt of his muzzle even as his eyes sparkled with mirth. 

For making him feel…some sort of way every time he was around, the bother.

-*-*-

Like any good story, it does eventually reach its pique - its dramatic climax. Or, at the very least, it reaches a point where Asparagus cannot avoid it anymore. As said: Skimbleshanks had a limited well of patience, and it had been slowly drying up as the months went by. 

Skimbleshanks had come back on a Sunday morning in autumn (though maybe calling it a morning was too generous; it was still dark out), and, quite out of character for him at this hour (he was a very particular tom about his sleep windows, and Asparagus could hardly fault that), had sought Asparagus out first thing. Luckily (or unluckily), he happened to be awake, sitting atop an old chair, and thinking on his name. 

“Walk with me, won’t you?” Skimbleshanks asked, jaw set in something that looked to be a determined line, though it was a touch hard to tell from a distance. 

Asparagus saw no reason not to agree, and so finds himself walking alongside his friend in near silence, noting, carefully, that Skimbleshanks seemed distracted, but willing to wait until he was ready to tell him why. 

Their continued silence prompts Asparagus' own wandering mind, caught back on what he had been for months now, exasperated by how close the other tom was to him.

Like with everything else, he is overthinking it. It was simple: Asparagus is taken with Skimbleshanks, and he wanted Skimbleshanks to be taken in turn. He wanted a confirmation that he was taken in turn, not just an assumption or a hope. That's all. He could tell him right then; ask him right then. Throw his caution to the wind. What’s the worst that could happen? 

He could lose him. That was always the worst case scenario. He could lose him forever. Would the moment of relief it would bring have been worth it then? Was it not better then to just keep quiet? When I have plucked the rose, I cannot give it vital growth again.

And how would he do it? He hadn't even thought that far. Longing still for that which longer nurseth the disease - Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Would waxing poetic even work? Skimbleshanks wasn't much for such things. What did cats even say in these sorts of scenarios?

Asparagus puzzles over this, getting so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice how Skimbleshanks reaches his paw out and -

Ah. 

He finds himself stopping abruptly, throwing off their forward momentum, unable to look up and at the other tom. He just stares at where their paws are now joined, the constant clicking and over turning of his mind that had no perceivable end, now settling almost instantly. Remarkable, how that's all it had taken. 

…Well, this was certainly an instigator. There is a decision to be made in the limited time he has - no more dilly dallying. Skimbleshanks had always been the forward sort, at least with most things. If he went looking for an answer, he expected to find one. 

Asparagus hesitates a second too long,  stares at it a second too long, because before he knows it -

"I'm…I'm sorry,” Skimbleshanks stutters, moving to pull away.  “I just - I didn't mean-"

Asparagus clutches hard, preventing his departure, and Skimbleshanks goes very still; more still than he's ever known him to be. 

Now…what to do with it? How to show him that, should this mean what he thought, that he understood? That he understood and…and reciprocated. He knew what he wanted to do with it, but Asparagus feared being too forward - such gestures were better reserved for later. He settles for tucking it in the crook of his arm, pressing it close and secure. He wonders if the other tom can feel how his heart is pounding.

Taking a deep breath, Asparagus finally looks up and tries to smile. 

"Oh…oh, thank goodness," Skimbleshanks sighs, playfully hiding his eyes behind his other paw, peeking back out at him from between his fingers. "I thought I had misread and was making a fool of myself." 

Asparagus feels so relieved he almost starts laughing. Almost.

"You were," Asparagus says plainly instead, amusement still bubbling in his breast. "But then, according to unanimous consensus, so was I."

Skimbleshanks looks slightly confused, slightly wary, but he thankfully glazes over the latter statement. Instead, he grabs his other paw and turns him so they are facing one another and, briefly, they are bridged. Connected. Asparagus thinks that perhaps he's never been so happy in his life thus far.

"Come - let's sit here."

The two sit hip to hip, as they usually did, but something about this time felt different; exponentially better. 

After a moment, Skimbleshanks hooks his long tail loosely through his own and Asparagus about stops breathing. He feels practically giddy, like a kitten tentatively touching tails for the first time. How ridiculous it all was. He feels like he could sing.

Scratch the previous script note; this is the happiest he's ever been in his life thus far. 

He senses Skimbleshanks watching him intently for a reaction, but he is too flustered to return it. "Is this alright?"

"It…is."

The words themselves are not exchanged, but they don't need to be. Asparagus knows what it means. Any cat worth their whiskers knew what it meant.

Still…

"Were you waiting on me? All this time?" he asks, watching as the dawn begins its slow saturation of the horizon.

"I had almost given up," Skimbleshanks admits, almost shyly. "I thought maybe you just weren't interested and you were trying to ease me off. But then you would do something to contradict that. I thought perhaps: 'Oh, he's bashful, of course, you need to be patient, that's all.' Then you would do something else to contradict that. 'Oh, he's not bashful he just doesn't think of you that way.' And you didn't say anything either way!" he laments, gesticulating his paws in the air. "You're a difficult nut to crack indeed."

Asparagus hums. "I've been told."

Skimbleshanks thought a moment more, eyes widening, his mouth running ahead before his head could catch up. He jostles his shoulder. "Not that I would have minded! Of course not, I would still enjoy your company regardless! Always. You're very much my friend and I would have hoped to keep it that way. I just thought that maybe -"

"Skimble, it's alright," Asparagus soothes, patting his arm. "I understand."

The other tom exhales and laughs. It's such a lovely sound, greeting the dawn that way. "Good, because if I wasn't before, I am making a proper fool of myself now.”

"Not to worry," Asparagus remarks dryly but he cannot keep the affection from dropping into his tone. "Lucky for you, I happen to like it."

-*-*-

From that moment on, everything is, as Skimble would say, full steam ahead. It's a wonder it had taken them so long when now it was practically a whirlwind in comparison. 

Skimbleshanks, bold and forward as he was (particularly now that he knew his attention was welcome), quite literally demands the heart from Asparagus' chest with every smile, every wink; every casually placed touch to his shoulder, his arm, his back; every interesting little trinket he brings back for him; every soft, doe-eyed look aimed his way (and he still needs to tell himself that those are, in fact, for him). And Asparagus gives it to him piece by piece, until the other tom holds it so tightly in his paws, he is certain, should he choose to crush it, to drop it, he perhaps may never recover. 

Such melodramatic rubbish it all was. 

And yet…and yet…

"Why me?" Asparagus asks quietly one evening, immediately regretting the question as it left his mouth. The embarrassment he feels creeping up his spine is strong, and he finds himself fearing the answer - or perhaps he was fearing the potential lack of answer more. He isn't certain.

"Honestly?" Skimbleshanks returns eventually, picking his head sleepily up from his shoulder. He doesn't need to ask for clarification; he knows. "I couldn't tell you - I couldn't describe it. There's just something about you, Asparagus, that I like very much."

There was that word again: like. Skimbleshanks does not mince words. His genuine honesty was one of his most attractive traits, and one that Asparagus valued more than most. Skimbleshanks had been nothing but honest with him since the day they'd met; Asparagus felt he owed him honesty in return.

"Can I be frank?"

"Always."

"I still can't quite believe it."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"All this time I was in a state trying to figure out if you were flirting with me, or if I were just filling spaces in myself because I…wanted you to be. Because I…I have a very good imagination, you know." Asparagus pauses, considering the extent of his next confession. He feels a thread of tension crawl through his companion, but he doesn't turn to confirm it. "Worse still: I thought you weren't serious about it - that you treated everyone that way. That it wasn't…special for me more than any other cat. And I wanted to know if I needed to come to accept that. But the thought that that could be a reality deterred me."

The wrinkle between the other tom's brow furrows. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"My ego is very fragile and I thought you may laugh at me," Asparagus chuckles, though it fizzles out with less humour than it began with.

"Oh, dear," Skimbleshanks murmurs. "If it was - is? - causing you so much trouble, why did you-" 

Asparagus shrugs, falling back on his remembered words. "'Tis better to have loved and lost…'"

"'Than never to have loved at all,'" Skimbleshanks finishes in co-narration, wrinkling his nose. "Yes, I know that one. How perfectly fatalistic of you, dear."

"My outlook on these things hasn't really ever been the best."

"Evidently," Skimbleshanks agrees, tilting his head so their whiskers just barely brushed. Asparagus suppresses a shiver but does not move. "No matter- we're here now. And for the record: you wouldn’t have lost me - and you never will, so long as I have something to say about it."

-*-*-

It is, certainly, not the first time Skimbleshanks has left on his adventures in the year Asparagus has known him now, nor would it be the last, but it was the first time he felt…wary at the concept. It was the first time he had actually come to watch him off, braving the bustling crowds of people swarming through the station like hoards of bees. Skimbleshanks had practically beamed when he'd asked to tag along. 

It was the first time the idea of him leaving, even for a day or two, sent pangs of legitimate upset through his body that were undeniably troublesome. 

He wonders forlornly if he would stay if he asked; thinks, just as quickly suffocating that thought, that he would never ask him to. He would, after all, need to get used to being the second love of Skimbleshanks' life, if his words were anything to go by.

Asparagus chews nervously at the inside of his lip as Skimbleshanks runs his paws over the front of his vest to smooth out any invisible wrinkles. "You will be back, won't you?"

He carefully refrains from the questions he wants to ask afterwards. You aren't going to run? You aren't going to leave me? You haven't changed your mind?

"Of course. I always am, aren't I?" Skimbleshanks shifts focus from himself and reaches to tuck a hair behind Asparagus' ear, brush the dust from his shoulder. He smiles in that heartachingly simple way of his, as though there were nothing in the world to be worried after. Asparagus wishes he were half as optimistic as Skimbleshanks always seemed to be; everything would be so much easier then, he was certain. 

"And perhaps," he continues, straightening his spine and tucking his paws neatly behind his back. Ever the picture of a proper tom was he, in direct contrast with the words that proceeded, whispered mischievously under his breath. "When I return, I will kiss you senseless. Right on this very platform, I think."

Asparagus blinks, feigning surprise. "In front of your Station Master? That's rather presumptuous, isn't it?"

"Is it?" Skimbleshanks tilts his head innocently. "Would you not want me to?"

"Now, now, I didn't say that."

The other tom grins again, shameless and unbothered as always, and leans forward quickly.  Asparagus feels the scratch of whiskers and the cool damp of a nose pressed to his cheek, hears the soft jingling of an open faced bell, and if he wasn't flushed before, he was practically aflame now. He wonders if anyone was paying them any mind; what they were thinking if they were; finds, very quickly, he doesn't care.

"Goodbye," Skimbleshanks says quietly.

"Good luck," Asparagus returns, resisting the urge to press his paw pad to the spot Skimble had just been, trapping the warmth against his skin just a little while longer. Asparagus finds himself at a sudden loss for words for what he wants to say; everything he wants to encapsulate in the seconds they have left, judging by the clock he sees just out of the corner of his eye. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes through.

There's a moment, just a moment, that Skimbleshanks seems to hesitate before he briskly steps away. 

"Do stay out of trouble while I'm gone."

Asparagus sighs.

"I'll try my best."

The whistle of the departing train pierces the air in a single, long bellow, and Asparagus does not hear whatever it is Skimbleshanks says next. The sound leaves his ears ringing, and before he knows it, before he can ask him to repeat it, Skimbleshanks has saluted and turned to saunter his way down the platform. Asparagus watches as he gets smaller and smaller; until he finally waves his tail behind him and disappears.

Whatever it was, he'll have to wait and find out; finds himself looking forward to it.

The urge becomes too strong for him as the train begins its departure, and Asparagus drops his face directly into his paws, warm and trembling. He exhales sharply, smiling like the infatuated fool he was.

Asparagus, old boy, he thinks, already counting the minutes down to when he would see the other tom again. You are well and truly in love, aren't you?

[wickedw3asleys]

JUST LIKE HEAVEN (Pt.2)

Fred x female reader (mentions of George)

AN: it is 5am i cannot sleep i need help oh my god i am SWEATING, FRED WEASLEY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME. he's a dom and i do not accept any kind of criticism. Okay but more seriously, thank you so much for the support for the 1st part! I truly appreciate it and I hope you'll like this one as much as the first one!

WARNINGS: smut smut smut smut and more smut... unprotected sex... and cussing

A few days had passed after your talk with Fred and George.

And still nothing had happened.

And you never thought you'd be so eager for one of them to reach out to you to fill his needs. But you weren't going to be the one to give in first.

And they knew what they did to you, because the first moment they saw you after the big talk they started teasing the shit out of you, and you were too easy to piss off, way too horny to have patience with them. Could be an accidental brush of George's hand on your thigh; Fred whispering things in your ear that weren't necessarily explicit; or again, George finding any kind of excuse to touch you, even the slightest... And that drove you crazy. And the fact that they exactly what they were doing, only made it worse, them making clear that they wanted you.

And today was the day that your patience was at its limits. So you were going to play it reverse on them, and make them suffer a little bit.

You decided to just play it cool, not to look to hard for them, and just let the big boys come to you, as they liked to call themselves. So when you least expected, you saw them appear with the biggest grins on their faces.

You were hanging out with Hermione and Luna at the library, and once again you were going crazy with your studies. You already have had 2 exams, and you could feel your brain slowly dying from all the information it was absorbing.

So obviously, when the twins saw you in such a frustrated state, they knew once again how to play their cards.

"Oh, darling... You look so stressed...", Fred came behind you, "and those shoulders! You're way too tense..."

He winked at his brother and put his hands on your shoulders, slowly massaging them.

Hermione looked at you with an interrogating gaze, not really sure if she should say something or not, to what you unconsciously shrugged your shoulders.

Fred dominantly put his hand on the back of your neck, applying a slight pressure to the sides of your neck, "Keep still, sweetheart..."

You could feel the blood rushing up to cheeks and to other unholy places on your body.

"What. The. Hell.", Hermione mouthed to you, Luna getting more and more confused about all the situation, since she was way too preoccupied reading her Astronomy book.

"I. DON'T. KNOW.", you mouthed back.

Fred continued to massage and apply pressure on your shoulder and the back of your neck, and you felt like you were going completely mad. And when you saw George glancing at his brother, you knew this was another one of their games; so why not join in?

You sighed, mouthed a quick "sorry" to the two girls and started playing.

"Freddie! Oh my god! You're so good!", you softly moaned, stretching your back and neck. You could catch a confused and nervous look on George's face, who was once again looking at his brother, expecting a reaction from him.

"Mmhhh... you like that?", he whispered down to your ear. Fuck, he was a way too good player.

You turned your face to his, just to be a few inches from his lips. "Yeah, I like it...", you said, trying to sound convincing; when you knew that you were affected by him to your bloody core.

You could feel his breath shake as he straighten up, leaving a satisfied smile on your face.

"And what about you, Georgie?", you asked, looking at him with puppy eyes, "How's my favorite Weasley?"

"I'm fine...", he said, smirking, "Why? You missed me, darling?"

You couldn't see any type of nervousness in him, he never answered wrong, always continuing the game.

Not wanting to leave poor Hermione and Luna alone, you decided after a while to semi ignore the twins, and go back to your conversation with the girls, including the boys in from time to time, and when you could feel Fred being totally distracted, you made your killer move.

"OH! I'm so sorry, Fred!", you said, looking how your ink pot just had fallen on his lap.

"Damn it!"

Everybody had taken a few steps back, not wanting to have ink all over them, and when Hermione got up to go for some tissues, you got on your knees and started wiping Fred's thigh with your robes. Fortunately you knew a spell that would make these stains go away, otherwise you wouldn't have sacrificed yourself like that.

The sight of your on your knees, a hand on his upper thigh and the other one wiping the ink stains that were dangerously close to his dick, almost made him cum in his pants. He had spent too much time without doing anything and you being you didn't made it better. You've always drove him completely mad, and the fact that you've actually accorded to be shared between him and his brother was all he could have ever asked for.

He dominantly grabbed your hand, "Bloody hell, Y/N! Stop!", he groaned between his teeth, making sure no one else but you could hear him.

"What's wrong?", you asked innocently, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Shit", he groaned.

He quickly got up, took his brother by the arm and left the library.

"Oh... Where did they go?", Hermione asked with the tissues in her hand.

"I don't know...", you couldn't help but smile victoriously. You've beaten Fred Weasley at his own game. You've put down one of the two twins. You still had to win against George, and from what you've been observing, he'd be the harder one to play against; fooling everybody with his innocent looks.

"Am I right saying that there was completely an unsolved tension in here for a second?", Luna asks.

"Y/N, what the hell was all this?!", Hermione says, clearly aware of what's happening.

"It's just a game! Nothing harmful! Don't worry", you smile, blushing.

"I don't know what kind of games you're playing with them but when I saw Fred going through that door he looked like he could spit fire...", Hermione points out, "I just hope you know what you're doing..."

"I do, Mione... I've talk to them..."

"What do you mean you've talked to them?", Luna asks, curious.

"Oops...", you say as you start getting up and taking your books with you, earning a gasp and shocked laugh from both of them. You winked at the girls and got out of the library.

There wasn't a lot of students out in the corridors at this time of the evening. It was almost bed time so everybody was either in their common rooms or still at the library, just like Hermione and Luna.

So when you felt a hand on the back of your neck again, you felt relief that no one was there.

"Good night, Freddie...", you smiled, his hand adding pressure.

"I hate you", he says between his teeth.

"Oh... Why is that?", you pout. If he'd thought he was the only one able to play this game, he was damn wrong.

"Don't play innocent here, you knew what you were doing"

"Just how you knew what you were doing to me for the past days. Both you and your brother. Am I wrong?", you tried turning your head, but his grip on your neck didn't let you, "Didn't your mother tell you to not play with your food, Freddie?"

The smirk you had on your face the second you pronounced these words could have killed Fred in an instant. It was the weirdest, yet most erotic, thing a girl have ever said to him, and he felt those words resonate through his whole body, specially under his pants.

"Fuck...", he groaned. He grabbed your arm and started leading you. You didn't knew where but you wanted to follow him so bad right now, nothing could have stopped you. You wanted him and you knew the feeling was reciprocal.

You turned a corner and arrived at the second-floor girl's bathroom. Fred quickly opened the door, making sure no one saw them go in and the second the door closed, his pressed his lips against yours. Almost with anger. He was so eager to kiss you...

Neither of you took the time to completely undress the other, you just stayed there, him pressing his body on yours, devouring your mouth.

Without breaking the kiss, he started leading you to the sinks, where he lifted you and sat you. Your skirt almost lifted to your waist and his hands fiercely groping your thighs.

"How DARE you come snog in MY bathroom?!", a whining voice made you both jump, trying to regain your breath.

"Mimi!", Fred breathed out, "Sorry! W-we..."

"Oh... Hi, Frederick...", Moaning Myrtle slowly approached Fred, not even paying attention to you, "You're looking good tonight...", she says.

"You too, Mimi, but we're kind in the middle of something right now...", he says, awkwardly.

"Oh... I see that...", she says, glaring at you in anger.

"Hi, Myrtle..."

"Come on Myrtle, please... I promise to make Harry come visit you tomorrow, but please, please, let us stay here...", he pleaded. You could hear the desperation in his voice and that only turned you on even more.

Moaning Myrtle was taking his proposal in consideration, and quickly ended up agreeing. "Tell him I want to see him in that grey shirt he always wears, he looks so good in it...", she says before completely disappearing in the darkness of the bathroom.

"Wow... So Moaning Myrtle too, huh?", you teased Fred.

"Yeah, yeah, don't start", he quickly cupped your face with one hand and started kissing you again, this time with more passion, more fire. He was kissing you as his life depended on it, his hands always groping your skin; your thighs, your stomach, your waist... He was like an animal, so eager and needy. And you loved every bit of it.

Fred pulled out from your lips and started going down, kissing your jaw... You neck... Licking it and making sure to leave at least two or three visible marks for him to admire the next day. You moaned when he started kissing that sweet spot of you, just behind your ear, as he started slightly pulling your hair. That combination would be the death of you.

"Fuck, Fred...", you moaned in his ear. He raised his head and took a second to finally admire your messed up state, which only made him want to go rough on you.

He leaned in again and started kissing you while unbuttoning your white shirt, not losing a single second. Just as he kept unbuttoning it, he started kissing your chest until it was completely at sight. He groaned to himself when he saw the black lace bra you were wearing that day.

This time, you were the one to not lose time. The second your blouse was unbuttoned, you started attacking his pants, taking of his belt and lowering it a little so you could play with the elastic of his boxers.

"Wait...", he suddenly stopped.

"What? What are you- FUCK!", you loudly moaned as you saw him going down on his knees before you and taking your clit in his mouth. Your hands directly went to his hair, pulling it gently.

You could have come by the simple sight of what was happening, Fred on his knees eating you out, his hair all messy and his arms strongly around your thighs.

"Oh my-... Yes, just like that", you moaned again, making Fred chuckle against you, sending vibrations through you.

He started placing little kisses and kitten licks all over your pussy, licking every inch of it, making it his.

"If you keep... FUCK! Doing this... I'm going to cum... Oh my god, Fred..."

He chuckled again and stopped his movements to look up at you. Fuck, you were looking so pretty, already all fucked up.

He got up, never breaking eye contact with you. He was literally towering you, you sitting on the small sink, your legs around his waist.

He was going to start kissing you again when you stopped him, putting your soft hand on his clothed chest.

"Wait... My turn...", you seductively said, slowly kneeling.

He instantly knew what you were about to do, so he helped you lowered his pants down a little.

"Bloody hell, you're so big...", you whispered.

"Well, wait are you waiting for?", he said, lifting up your chin.

Your mouth instantly started drooling the moment you took him in your mouth. You slowly lowered your head down his shaft, taking all you could of him in your mouth, and then up again.

You started licking his tip and his sides, trying to get it as wet as you could.

"Y/N... Fuck... You're so good at this...", you felt his body lean against the sink you were previously sitting on, and saw his hand grab the edge of it to gain support. "Keep going please, keep going..."

You did as he pleaded. You slowly started to bob your head up and down his dick, both of you making the most sinful sounds. You could feel him throb in your mouth as your lowered your head more and more, and you loved it.

Suddenly, he grabs you by the hair and lifts you up again, helping you sit on the sink again.

"Legs up for me, will you sweetheart?", he says, caressing your inner thighs.

"If you ask so nicely...", and you lifted your legs to wrap them around his waist.

Fred sucked his thumb and lowered it to your clit, drawing figures eight on it, slowly.

"Mmmhhh...", you moaned, throwing your head back.

"Are you ready?", he asks, his thumb still on your clit.

"Yes", you smiled back at him, locking eyes with him and not breaking contact when he entirely slid into you.

"Merlin, you're so tight...", Fred moaned in the crook of your neck.

You grab him by the shoulders and let him start thrusting in and out of you; first at an awful slow pace, making him bite your neck.

"Come on, darling...", you encouraged him. And with that, as if something lightened up inside him, he straightened himself, towering over you again, and roughly putting one of his hands around your neck and the other one around your thigh. That made him gain stability, so he started thrusting deeper and harder tan before.

"YES! Oh my god... Yes...", you put your forehead against his and closed your eyes shut, lost in the feeling.

"Yeah... Like that...", he says, going even faster, hitting that special spot of yours that made you almost scream. "That's it, darling... Show me where I am..."

You clumsily took his hand and tried to find on your lower abdomen the spot that Fred was hitting so you could show him how deep he was buried in you.

"Oohh, yes... There it is...", he says, feeling his tip brushing against his hand. He applied more pressure to your abdomen, making his dick hit that spot again and again.

"FUCKKKKK! YES!", you screamed, eyes almost rolling back in your head.

"Look at me, sweetheart, look at me...", Fred took your face and started to thrust deeper and harder just to watch your reaction, to which he wasn't disappointed. Your swollen lips, messy hair and the spots he had been leaving along your neck and chest were the most beautiful view ever.

He started massaging your breast through your bra as he once again increased his speed.

All you could do was messily breathe and loudly moan as he trusted in and out of you. He was so big. Stretching you so good. And the fact that he was being so rough yet so gentle with you was insane.

Once again he brought his hand to your clit, slowly massaging it and making you moan even louder.

"Ssshhhh... Sweetheart, do I have to remind you how to be quiet?", he says, his hand against your mouth.

You remembered the moment he first pressed his big hand on your mouth, all the thoughts that were crossing your mind and all the fantasies you've created because of that specific moment, and now all of them where becoming reality.

"Do I reckon you like my hand on you like this, right?", he smiled, thrusting deeper.

Your screams were now muffled by his hand, but he could see your eyes starting to water, which only made him increase the pace.

You were a moaning mess, your nails going to his back, his arms and chest, also leaving your little marks.

"Come on, I want you to see yourself when you cum...", he says before slipping out of you and turning you, now facing the mirror.

He put his hand where it belonged: your neck. And started to kiss you again, looking at you through the mirror's reflection.

With no previous notice, he slammed into you from behind, making your face contort in pleasure.

"Oh my god...", you say, trying to grab the edge of the sink.

He pulled your hair again, leaning your head back on his chest.

"Look at you...", he says, "so fucking... pretty..."

He brought his free hand to your clit again, the new angle making it easier for him to massage it in the correct way.

That made you scream again, feeling your legs fail you.

"I've got you, darling... Come on...", he whispered, tightly holding on to you.

He continued his relentless attack on your pussy and clit, making the pleasure almost unbearable for you.

"F-Fred... I-I'm c-cumming... SHIT!"

He smirked at your reflection and didn't stop his thrusting until he felt your inner walls tightly close again his cock. The feeling of you cumming with him inside you made it impossible for him to hold any longer, so as he was helping you riding your orgasm, he chased his own one, both of you moaning loudly in the other's ears and clinging to each other as your lives depended on it.

He stayed inside you a few more seconds, trying to regain his breath and strength.

"I think that deserves a big high five...", you say, lazily raising your hand.

He weakly moaned, trying to high five you, but terribly failed.

He finally got the strength to pull out of you with a hiss, slowly pulling his dick out and letting a pool of both of your fluids form in the sink.

"Thank you", he breathed out, kissing your forehead.

"No! Thank you!"

"I knew this was a good idea!", he says, proud of him.

"The most brilliant idea you've ever had...", you say, helping him putting his belt back on.

"What are you doing?", he asks.

"That, my friend, is a souvenir...", you laughed, patting the panties you just put in his pocket.

"Oh, you're a nasty one... Very, very nasty...", he smirks.

"You have no idea...", you say, kissing his neck again. "Let's go, before the others start asking too many questions"

"We're definitely doing that again, I hope you know that...", he says, entering the Gryffindor common room.

"Isn't that why we've talked about it, you git?" you laughed.

"Hey, where were you two?", Hermione asks, "We've been waiting for you for almost two hours!"

"Oh, we just quickly went to visit Moaning Myrtle...", you say, eyeing how George was looking at the marks on your neck, "Harry by the way, she wants you there tomorrow with your grey shirt. No discussion!"

You hear Harry groan and throw his head in his hands, "Why? Why did you this to me? Why do you hate me so much!?!"

"Come on, she's not that bad...", you say, sitting next to George.

"How does she even know I have that shirt?!", he starts whining, but soon enough, your attention was turned to George, who was playing with the back of your skirt.

"Looking good...", he whispered, "Who would have thought you're such a dirty player?"

"You have no idea...", you smirked.

He looked at you and chuckled, "You'll show me soon enough...", he said, discretely placing his hand on your inner thigh.

You looked up trying to see if anyone was looking at you, but for your luck, they were too busy hearing Harry whine about Myrtle. And then, you crossed Fred's gaze. He winked at you and raised to you his plastic bottle and drank a sip, that making George chuckle again.

For Goddrick's sake... These two were going to drive you completely mad...

[kaisa-ryo]

Attention deficit (pt. 1)

jujutsu kaisen

Characters: Itadori Yuji, Satoru Gojo, Megumi Fushiguro, Inumaki Toge, Sukuna Ryōmen, Nanami Kento, Suguru Geto

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

Itadori Yuji

Itadori in this situation acts, oddly enough, completely primitive. The less attention he sees from you, the more he tries to get him back. In other circumstances, this might even seem exaggerated, but here and now this is the most critical moment. What does he do? Yes, everything in a row: drops the book, turns its pages, rummages in the bag, humming softly to himself, and so on ... And all this continues until it comes to stroking the hips and lightly squeezing one palm, while the other rewrites the abstract ...

- I miss the old y/n. - he gives out with sadness in his eyes.

At this moment, the game of interest begins: you feel how simultaneously there is a feeling of spontaneous and purposeful manipulation, how you are gently and imperceptibly pushed towards the long-awaited goal.

In such a situation, one could easily succumb, but you, resisting this, answer:

- Yuji, I'm very busy right now.

It would seem that a strong guy fights curses, trains with the strongest shamans, but with ordinary words it is so easy to break.

It's hard for you to realize that right now he is depressed because of you. It's unusual to see a sad Yuji almost always smiling and making others do the same. Especially you.

And so you compromise, intertwining your fingers, frowning slightly and pretending to listen to something inside yourself ... After that, Yuji remains in this position for a long time, as if afraid to frighten you off, because now such closeness between you is too valuable to miss out.

Satoru Gojo

It turns out that sometimes even acting like a fool doesn't help you pay attention to Gojo. First, the way you constantly focus on the same thing, so that the words in your speech get confused, takes on a comic character, and he comes to the idea that, for no reason, for no reason, you decided that work is more important to you than himself. Then you stop paying attention to him altogether. You no longer look at him from under your brows, do not frown at the idiotic jokes with which he is trying to distract you, as it was yesterday. Satoru notices that you are much smaller. He is puzzled and even confused. Finally, it occurs to him that you just have nothing to do, and comes up with the craziest idea to entertain you.

- What are you doing? - a voice of a man sounded nearby, who had been watching you with interest for some time.

There was no answer. However, it is not surprising.

- Okay, okay, you don't have to answer... - He looked away.

This was his usual technique. After asking several meaningless questions, he suddenly fell silent, as if giving you the opportunity to think over the answer properly, and he himself imperceptibly removed, leaving you in complete confusion. But this time, due to the circumstances, the technique had to be slightly changed.

In the next moment, he was already pressing you to him and, taking advantage of this, with his other hand began to explore the curves of your body. The reaction was as if you were doused with boiling water or doused with cold water.

- What are you doing? - You asked in a trembling voice.

- Checking to see if you got fat after we lost sex. - still clinging to you, he answered. You were taken aback and began to push him away from you.

- I have not grown fat, let me go! You barked, feeling his arms tighten. - Let go! Fool! Let go!

Hands rested on your back, and he began to rock you slowly, stretching the moment when you finally stop resisting.

- It's okay, y/n. You just need to calm down. - he whispered, not hearing your words.

There is a mess in my head, the goal of your resistance has fled somewhere, and you start desperately hugging the man while he grins at the fact that he managed to do what he wanted.

Megumi Fushiguro

Megumi is not one of those who will behave like a child, attracting attention to herself when you do not even know the reason for her loss. He will speak to you as soon as he notices it.

- Do you want to talk about it?

You rub your eyes with fatigue, but you shouldn't ignore Fushiguro's question, because it concerns the two of you. No matter how serious his intentions are, he will always be there to remind you that you can talk to him about what worries you.

- I... will hardly give any good advice, but I will try to make it easier for you after the conversation. Megumi continues after a minute of your silence.

Even such a seemingly small detail as being able to talk to someone else significantly reduces stress and other not-so-good emotions. And the guy knows it.

- You can always count on my help. - already with a drop of confidence he says, and it's like the touch of a soft, pleasant hand on your shoulder. Of course, he does this primarily because he is worried, but this is only a secret cover for the fact that he is upset that you turned away from him, without noticing the real reason.

"Fushiguro, if I do this, I don't know... I... will feel like this..." The words elude you. It’s hard to even think about what you’ll say next.

The guy spreads his arms to give you room to hug and apologize, but you just put your head on his shoulder. You don't want to talk about anything else. The chest against which your head is pressed turns into a pillow. And then a quiet voice is heard:

- I'm not mad at you. You can stay here as long as you like.

But here you won't need anything as long as Fushiguro is around.

Inumaki Toge

Not surprisingly, the first thought that comes to him is "it's all because of the damned speech."

Does he talk to you too little? Maybe he is too quiet and invisible for you? Perhaps you are afraid that someday he will take control of you? From such questions echoing in my head, my jaws come together and a lump appears in my throat. But the worst thing is that Toge begins to doubt his right to meet with you, because he cannot even talk to you with dignity, as a person to a person. Even your sweet persistence, which sometimes breaks through the boundaries of ordinary attempts to turn the conversation back on track, does not help. As a result, when it comes to your attention deficit, he begins to think that all this time you did not notice him, as if he was one of those whom you forgot on the first day.

- Okaka? - the young man has been trying to attract your attention with his eyes for a long time, but it seems that even words cannot help.

- Sorry, Toge. I'm not in the mood today...

The guy was actually a perfectionist and would rather have your smile shine every day. I wish he could turn back time right now, scroll to the moment when something went wrong and fix it at any cost.

Inumaki tucked a lock of your hair behind his ear to see your face behind it. He knew you had flawless skin and plump, sensual lips. He would admire your face for hours.

The next second, the blond rested his head on your lap, looking into your eyes. You liked such cute things from him. They weren't vulgar or inappropriate. They were what she needed.

You smile faintly and stroke the hair on the back of his head, touching his cheek with your fingertips.

Sukuna Ryōmen

This is the case when Sukuna uses passive aggression. Slightly wrong, some small sign of ignorance - his speech turns into direct pressure on your relationship with him. He can really hurt you a lot if you don't appreciate his efforts to make you even a little happier. Most often they are small and insignificant, the kind that anyone would do, but for the King of Curses, this is really something grandiose. And since he has many ways to destroy your relationship, if you think he made a mistake, remember how it hurts him.

- Will you ignore me again? - Sukun asked with imperious anger, the last pieces of despair were dying in his soul. - And where is your mercy? If I have become disgusting to you, why do you continue to need me?

There was nothing to answer. It was not pride that tormented him at all, but an ever-deeper regret that with your equanimity you just caused another outbreak of rage in him. Most of all, the thought that you, perhaps, does not even notice it, and your eyes clouded with pain glide over something that is very dear to him, terrified him.

The dead silence continued, and my chest ached more and more. Then there was a soft groan:

- Y/n, I love you.

Tears ran down your cheeks, but did not brush them away with my hand. You knew it wasn't going to help. Bitter emotions generated by the word "love" are not able to be burned out on the face, like the sun on clay. You can't stop feeling. And all the same, looking at you was as painful as seeing your motionless glazed gaze.

He hugged you from the back as soon as he felt that you were repenting. Like the time you forgave him for calling you your own. He had strong hands - you can be sure. He was very gentle. You felt less pain. Maybe in the future it will be difficult for him to remember this, but now he tightly squeezed you in his arms and was so affectionate that you wanted him to never let you go.

Nanami Kento

He begins to suspect that something is wrong very early. First, morning kisses disappeared somewhere before leaving for work, then sincere conversations at the table, and then completely short meetings with glances. Moreover, the last remnants of intimacy are gone. Nanami began to think that something had happened to you. He always tried to protect you from any problems. And so you found yourself right in front of him, so closed and detached, he could not so easily take away the comfort and peace that he had been creating for so long and skillfully. And first of all, of course, he will lend you a helping hand to make it easier for you as quickly as possible.

A perplexed look will appear from under dark eyelashes after a man touches your forehead with his palm. It seems that the whole thing is not about health.

- You don't have a fever. He began.

- I know, thanks.

But Kento was clearly hinting at something.

- So what's up? - then you know what Nanami means. But she said nothing.

- Y/n, I do not want to impose anything on you, I just need to know what is happening to you so that our relationship with you does not suddenly go downhill.

The man took your hand and brought it to his lips. Nanami felt that if he said something now, he would commit tactlessness. And so he was silent, waiting for your answer.

- Sorry... - Tears began to burn my eyes. - I am very, very ashamed. I... it's just hard for me now, but it will pass by itself. I'm sure.

You pressed as tightly as possible to the man, hugged him and buried your face in the chest. He put his hand on your head encouragingly. I already didn't care about the problem as a whole. Now for you there was only what you felt - his soft stroking, the smell of a strong male body, warmth and care, and there was nothing but that.

Suguru Geto

He will take it calmly, without intention. But she won't ignore it. Often he will offer tea or something else, just to get at least one word out of you, in an attempt to bring you into conversation. He will not touch you without asking, because he knows about the value of personal space. And yet, for a while, it can fiddle with spontaneous statements in order to simply take away the soul and break a long silence.

- I see your day is going well... - Geto smiles with restraint. - Lots of news for me?

Guessing that he is once again trying to create a dialogue between you was almost nothing. But you are, of course, silent.

- I see. - Suguru sits down next to you, as close to your side as possible, not giving a damn if you don't like it.

- Maybe I offended you in some way? - he continues. - Or are you just not too open in your thoughts?

- Nothing. It's okay. - you throw.

- But it seems to me that no. - he takes your hand in his, as if trying to make you smile. “I think you have something to tell me, don’t you? He raises his eyebrows, expecting your reaction. Instead of answering, you grimace with a shrug. Suguru repeats the question:

- So what happened? Why don't you want to share your thoughts with me?

- What would you like? You ask. - Would you be happy to know that there is a perfect girl with great manners, beautiful and intelligent, whom you deserve?

To be honest, Suguru did not expect such an answer. You can see that he is a little dumbfounded, but quickly comes to his senses. And then he starts laughing - so sweet and sincere that you start to feel embarrassed and blush with shame.

- And I was already expecting something more terrible. He laughs. - Okay, be it your way. I'm not a particularly sentimental person. I do not know what to say.

- Tell me you feel terribly in love. - grabbing his wrist, you say.

The brunette makes a startled face again. But you do not retreat - you hold him for a few more seconds, forcing him to surrender. - Only from the bottom of my heart ...

- Y/n, I feel terribly in love with you and will never fall in love again next time. So? He asked, grinning.

Wiping away the tears of happiness, you hugged him without words, while he, hugging you with one hand, exhaled with relief.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

[igotanna]

Is this a bet??

Summary: Jinyoung takes your words seriously. And he loves proving his point. You should think twice before teasing him again.

Warnings: smut, sort of orgasm denial

Genre: fanfiction, smut

Pairing: reader x park jinyoung

Rating: 18+

A/N: pic is mine

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"Please tell me you didn't just eat that popcorn that fell into your bra..." Jinyoung sighed as he heard you munch again after a long time. He sat in his favorite armchair and didn't bother to look at you. The movie was more interesting.

"Shut up I can’t hear it now."

One would say that after three years of dating and living together, you two would stop bickering. But that was the dynamics of your relationship, and you still kinda enjoyed it this way. But sometimes he got on your nerves with his lecturing.

The movie ended and Jinyoung got up to stretch and to put the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Y'know, it was really goo-"

"It was bullshit." you cut him off.

You scrolled through your phone and didn't really pay attention to him when he came back to look at you with his 'what did you just say?' face.

"Come again?"

"I said it was bullshit. It was absolutely unrealistic during the sex scenes," you explained and sighed like him.

He frowned and sat down, now actually interested to hear your thoughts "What do you mean?"

"I mean c'mon! One could never make woman cum without touching her clit - when they were together for such a short time! You couldn't do that and we’ve known each other for quite some time now!"

You were so serious, and didn't really see the shadow of deep shock that flew over his face. He blinked a few times in disbelief. "Do you really think that?"

Putting the phone down you looked at him "Yes, it's really hard - maybe even physically impossible for a woman to cum completely without touching her clit. It's the most ac-"

"Wait," he stopped you, picking up his words and thinking your statement through "is this a bet?" His eyes pinned at your face.

You had to laugh - this was more of a "scientific" discussion for you and here he was dirty minded as usual thinking you're teasing him.

"I'm just saying,-"

"Is this a bet?" he repeated, voice lower. Now it was you blinking quickly to adjust. When he said it out loud you were even more sure - it is impossible.

"What would be the prize for the winner?" you narrowed eyes suspiciously. You knew he was able to pull your leg all the time.

"Anything." he said deadly serious.

"Anything?"

"Anything. Completely free options. If I don't make you cum without touching your clit you can make me do anything you want. One time. Make me go up on stage and do stand-up comedy, make me say something stupid in front of your mother. Whatever you say."

"And if you do make me cum?"

His expression darkened, a low-key sadistic smile flitting across his face. "Anything as well."

You laughed again, shaking your head "This is too.. too much you. I don't trust you."

"What? Whyy?" he looked at you like a surprised puppy with his big round eyes.

"Because!" you exclaimed and got up, almost shoving him off the couch. He followed you with his eyes and regained confident expression. He already knew you're in.

"Because games like these never end up in my favour!"

"Well, if it won’t end up in your favour now, I don't know when it will!" he laughed and left to take a shower. Jinyoung was well aware to give you some space to consider his proposal after presenting you a new idea or assumption.

While he was showering, you had a moment to consider your options - either way you were going to have some solid sex. And that was all you needed to head to the bathroom and lean on the shower door.

"Alright."

Jinyoung laughed and looked to where he heard your voice "So is this official?"

"Yes." you sighed, almost like he pushed you into doing it. Which he did. In his own way. "It is a bet. If you won't make me cum without touching my clit-"

"But I can be inside." he demanded

"Of course, that's not the point. Apart from touching my clit you can do whateve-"

"Careful with your words," he smirked.

"You can do almost whatever might help you make me cum." you finished strongly.

The water stopped. A muscular torso appeared next to your face and with it Jinyoung's fresh scent combined with the soap.

He looked at you, satisfaction written all over his face and dried his hair like nothing happened. Continuing to your bedroom he put the towel down and raised his voice as if he was looking for you "Are you coming?"

You walked to the room like if you were about to do a job interview, even your stomach was slightly squirming with excitement and partly with nervousness.

Jinyoung was busy adjusting the light and pulling down the curtains.

"So," his voice was low and muted, intimidating.

"I don't know what game are you playing...you simply cannot win this." you laughed and started to unbutton your shirt.

"Ah-," he stopped you before pointing at your hands – you were obviously stealing his job "Don't." his eyes found yours and he tilted his head a bit "But do repeat what you just said. C'mon."

You laughed as he got near you and slowly touched your arm with index finger sending a shiver down your spine "I said you won't make me cum."

"That's it." he whispered to himself.

You felt his body behind you, heard his breath, your hair swinging in its rhythm. By stopping you from undressing yourself he was showing you who’s in charge. You wanted to stay strong, not willing to submit to his methods you knew all too well. Something in Jinyoung’s demeanour changed, he’s going to outperform himself today you were sure of it. He's going to come up with something new, trying out stuff he always wanted to but never did. And most importantly - he’s going to take advantage of this.

His fingers moved inch by inch up to meet the inner elbow and to the hips.

"Say it again." he muttered through gritted teeth, daring you. As if searching for reasons to punish you. His warm hand roughly pushed the shirt fabric aside, forcing its way between the buttons by stealth.

"I said you can't make me cum." you said clearly, but it was undermined by the breathless gasp that escaped your mouth unwillingly. At that very moment, his hand undid the buttons and your shirt landed next to your ankles like snake's skin.

Despite the intensity he barely touched you yet.

His arm rested on your shoulder and with tips of his fingers he drew over your chest up to the collar bone. His face was so close to your ear you heard every breath and even movements of his tongue in his mouth.

The goosebumps raised across your skin excited him so much, but he kept his head clear. He knew exactly what to focus on. Having a mental list of your erogenous zones he needed to use, and saving few new ones to try out. He dug his face in your hair and kissed you below your ear. Your body reacted faster than you wanted. You crumbled into him as if he pushed some button, your knees bending a bit. But he didn't want it to be this fast.

He bit your earlobe in warning.

Surprised by his nip, your hand went up for revenge but his was quicker, smacking yours away like annoying insect.

Sliding his palms down to your panties he slowly pulled down. You felt a sudden gust of coldness as he kneeled down and your back were left unprotected. His heart started to beat faster as your panties revealed your bum. He couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips on your left butt cheek. It took you by surprise – he never was this gentle. Still only with the tips of his fingers on your sides, he got up. Parting your hair and putting them on one side he uncovered his most favorite part of your body – the nape of your neck.

He pushed you to the bed.

Enough of warming up.

"However bad it's going to be..." his voice was dark, wild and almost aggressive because of the long silence "Rule is- you can't touch your clit either." he said locking eyes with you.

"It's either me making you cum," he continued and leaned on his elbows above you, only inches above your face, "or nothing." you opened your mouth to kiss back, but he pulled away. Pressing lips on your neck and going down, between your breasts, your belly.

You felt yourself getting wett, heat pooling in anticipation.

The thing is - it was usually never this slow - Jinyoung was more of a rough, fierce sex type. He didn't need any time to prep and wasn't really a fan of foreplay. Lube was always there to fix everything.

But now- he was careful, sensual, paying attention to details - dancing with his fingers on the inner side of your knee. You almost forgot this place was so sensitive. He harmonized the feeling with his lips on your thigh, temptingly close to the clit.

Closing your eyes you didn't watch what he's doing - just bathed yourself in the feelings.

He was already almost rock hard, given the sight of you closing your eyes with pleasure. He had to focus on the edge of his limits. It was so tempting to imprison you in his arms, to thrust into you, deeply and fully.

But a bet is a bet, and he had his plan.

You felt like you were ready for him, so much so you unknowingly spread apart more. His hand moved your leg up to rest on his hips, facing you again. Still not opening your eyes, you turned your head a bit to make him space for more neck kisses.

As his hands pulled yours up above your head, his fingers intertwined with yours.

Jinyoung left the best for last – he finally pressed his body fully on you, and inch by inch dived in you. You heard him smirk as he found it amusing how easily he could slide in as you were already so wet and open for him.

He moved slowly. Not just because he knew it’s stimulating, but because he focused on your nipples. He knew you were sensitive, and it helped him on many occasions to make you cum. Kissing, licking and carefully biting them he took you on the edge of pain and pleasure. Your fingers found his hair and you wanted to pull it, to participate somehow. But he was the leader here and immediately put your hands back in place – above your head.

It was all so good.

His breath so close to your neck, the heat from his body. The precision he moved with, how much attention he paid to you. How he held your jaw like he needed it to breathe.

But something was missing, the tension just kept cumulating and piling up, peak nowhere in near sight. You could even feel yourself stretching your arm up, as if to grab the orgasm that was just inches away.

But apparently your other hand headed down again because Jinyoung smacked it angrily "Don't even try it." thrusting in over and over.

"Fuck the bet, I want-"

"Rules!" he hissed as his movements quickened. Placing hand on the concave of your neck and shoulders, he squeezed a bit as a warning.

You bit your lip in frustration and pleasure. He bend down and kissed your jaw, following with his mouth parting yours, being dominant even now. Leaving you only to wait for his next move. Pulse racing, he repeatedly broke the kiss to look at you, to burn this exact picture of you into his mind.

Feeling him inside, holding your hand up, your breasts on his chest... everything felt like a flash of a fire, but the flame didn't appear. You almost fell his heart beating in your own veins.

He was close, so close.

Face next to yours, his lips found the spot below your ear again, biting the earlobe.

Breathing faster you knew it was coming.

Was he right? Can he do that? C'mon just a bit more- it's so close.

But he suddenly stopped moving, head buried in your hair heavily breathing. You tried to keep up with the wave of pleasure that was inside of you, waiting to be released, you tried so hard to slide it on your own. But it was gone. He was gone, leaving you in the water searching for a way out.

As he rolled down from you letting you alone with the helplessness and frustration he propped on one hand and looked at you "You were right." he caught his breath and put away lock of hair from your neck.

"You did it on purpose! You knew I was close!" you cried out loudly, hands rubbing your face.

"Yes." he admitted, glad you revealed the truth.

Looking directly at you like a teacher wanting his answer he asked "Lesson?"

After the minute of silence you gave to spite him, you felt a quick, light smack on your thigh. "Never. Try me out again."

[atrixfromice]

This is the saddest thing that have happened to me ever.

Hi my folks!

Hey...

sorry about my lack of art lately! I owe you an apology... I wasn't sure if talking about this, but I imagine that sooner or later it will reflect in my art anyways, so, I thought I'd talk about it a bit.

I think I've spent a lot of time trying so hard to befriend this guy I found last year's December and I fell in love with, that I've spent the very few free time I have (when I wasn't looking for a job) trying to befriend him. But things didn't really turned out well for me.

I imagine you would like to hear the end of this story... though.

Well, time passes and I thought I had at least catched his attention, because he started to follow me on Twitter. So I felt myself lucky and I thought to take the advice that my mom and Faikel gave me, and to try to get closer to him to form a good friendship and after that to tell him about my feelings for him.

So that was my plan. And I thought it was a good one...it seemed like a good plan.

...But today I went to see what was new on my social networks, and saw on his Twitter a post about him meeting a girl a couple of days ago, and announcing they were dating.

Which it's strange to me cos it's a person who appeared from nowhere, recently joined to twitter and has only 1 tweet O_O And if you look for her on other sites on the internet, there's nothing. In my case I know him since last year's December.

In any case. As you can imagine...this is probably the end for this story.

And the end of my hopes to find a true love...

Cos you know, I'm one of these peeps who, when they fall in love, their heart belongs to only one person. So this probably means...

...that I'll be all alone for all the rest of my life.

I feel devastated! This news broke up my heart into very tiny pieces, and I think they cannot be repaired...

And honest to God I don't know what to do!

What I should do now? Should I keep following him and trying to cultivate the friendship? Or should I just unfollow him and remove him from my social networks, to not suffer in the future?

Why God let's these things happen?

What I can do to take away the pain?....

Also... I can't help but wonder, if I picked up the wrong advice, I mean, if I was too slow and I should have told him my feelings like @chateaudecoolette advised me, instead of waiting, like my other friend, my mom and Faik advised me.

I wonder if I'd have had any chance with him, too. I mean, seeing how much I struggled to make him notice me, maybe I wouldn't have had much chance with him anyways. I think if he was in love with me whe we met, he would have payed me attention since the beginning and talked to me...and that didn't happen.

One doesn't choose to who you fall in love with...it just happens.

...But one can choose what to do if things don't come out well for you and you're not loved back.

I do love him, with all my heart! And I only wish for him happiness and that all his dreams come true! And of course, I'd like to become a good friend of him one day. And I'll always love him and support him, even if he never love me the same way. Bev's that's how true love is.

So I pray right now... I pray for God's wisdom.

I pray so he can give me the strength and the wisdom to do the best thing for him and for me...the one that would help me to find peace and solace in my heart...

[digimonloving]

okay! in that case, could i request a ficlet? uhh basically a nsfw one of andromon and his female tamers first time, but like, andromon being how he is hasn't really experienced anything like it or even thought about it. maybe recently evolved from a guardromon so these fleshy feelings are new? that kinda thing. also yea take your time take your time honestly, i know you get a loooot of requests.

Andromon and his fem Tamer's First Time /Nsft Ficlet

Andromon had recently Digivolved from Guardromon, and from that evolution came new feelings and ways he started to view things. One of the main things? His Tamer. He's not sure what this feeling is, but now... whenever he glanced towards you, he felt something surge through him that he didn't understand. Maybe he had a wire loose? But this felt like it more came from the humanoid body bits he had rather than the machine parts.

He found himself staring at you more often. Analyzing and paying attention to the things you do. Taking in when you smile. When you laugh and when you go as far as to cry from your laughter. He's tried to understand what these feelings are, but nothing in his database or multiple checking of his system could tell him what it was all about.

Andromon was sure that you noticed how he stared at you. His look was always surprisingly soft, and he couldn't help but to smile when you did now, being the dork of a cyborg as he was. It wasn't tough to see the signs, but as his Tamer, you did need to be certain about it. It could have just been wishful thinking on your part, but always best to check, no?

"Andromon?"

A moment of silence before the Digimon turned to look to you over his shoulder as he was setting a bedroll down, head tilted slightly to the side, "Yes?"

The two of you had just set-up camp in a rather secluded part in a building of an abandoned city in the Digital World, one that had machine Digimon every now and then appear as they made this place their home. They were friendly, especially to Andromon, and so there was no need to worry about them as they also stayed a bit away from you two. Perhaps scared because Andromon was far stronger than any of the Digimon that lived there -- them being only Rookie levels or Champion level.

"I'm rather curious," you began, capturing your chin between your thumb and pointer finger, your other hand resting on your hip. "Have you been feeling anything... different? From when you were a Gaurdromon?"

Andromon was silent, staring at you over his shoulder before he turned to fully face you, his expression a little lost and clueless as to why you were asking him such a thing. "Yes. To put it into a simple answer." he muttered, casting his glance downward, as if suddenly shy.

You perked up some. Okay.. a good start. You stepped a bit closer to him, looking up at him, "Anything specific?"

You had to admit, ever since he Digivolved, you began to think perhaps.. thoughts you shouldn't have about your own Digimon. But you couldn't help but to be curious about him in more ways than one. He wasn't half bad to look at, and you wondered if he was curious as well. Judging from the small look he gave to you... maybe?

"Feelings I have been unable to identify correctly," he answered after a few more moments of silence, "The only thing I am aware of is that I care about you more than I used to, in another way I cannot directly describe..."

Bingo! A ray of hope for you in the department of horny progress. You did need a bit more, though. And so you leaned a bit closer to him, which caused him to blink as he stared down at you, a bit dumbfounded.

"With these feelings... did you want to do more with me?" you asked, slowly grabbing his left hand between your own which you noticed caught his attention immediately. You knew that look he was giving you now. He was scanning you, trying to understand what you were going for. He always looked like that when he was trying to understand something. To you, it was always incredibly endearing and so cute.

"... Elaborate?" he asked, more whispered, as he watched you. Letting you lead this little dance it seemed. You figured you'd have to do a little bit of the work, after all, he was clearly clueless and needed a bit of guidance since he never could have experienced these new feelings with anything else.

"I mean... do you want to touch me? Have you ever found yourself staring at my lips or... more of me?" You asked, innocently enough to see his reaction as you fidgeted with his fingers, long and smooth... They'd be able to reach places you couldn't with your own.

"..." He blinked a few times before he once more looked away. You couldn't help but to giggle a little. It was clear he had by the look he wore on his face. Seeming a bit embarrassed, and now he was being all sorts of shy and not wanting to fully respond. You patted his hand then gestured for him to sit down. He did near immediately, and then you moved to practically sit yourself between his legs, kneeling and looking him in the eyes as much as he'd let you as he wasn't making direct eye contact.

You moved your hands to rest on his cheeks, and his near immediately moved to your sides out of reaction which did surprise you a little.

"Is it okay if I kiss you, Andromon?" You had to ask, after all, it wouldn't be cool to just do that without informing him and probably overloading him with the new sensation as well if you didn't inform him first. After some intense staring from the Digimon, he finally nodded to you. You pressed your lips to his, gently, to be careful with the thought of overloading his system with it.

His lips were slightly chapped, but they were warm and nice. Actually, his whole body was warm. He wasn't cold, no, even the mechanical parts of him were heated but not enough to accidentally burn you as you touched it. Perhaps because he was trying to process things he was experiencing a little too much. It made you giggle at the thought of him sounding like a computer trying to load up something that was almost too much for it.

Andromon's hands seemed to become curious, hesitantly moving from your sides to your hips as he clumsily attempted to kiss back. Clearly he was trying to get a feel for it, it sort of wasn't working too well for him which you could only smile in the kiss at. He was too adorable, but this was his first time experiencing something like this, so you tried to no put too much pressure on him. You really didn't expect him to be perfect for your first time together.

You pulled away from him and began to remove your clothes, to which he watched intently. Still looking so lost yet highly intrigued as he took in your body as you removed your underwear a bit teasingly. It is incredibly clear he doesn't understand how to react to you stripping yourself, as he's frozen in place and doing... well, not much for himself really. Which, again, you could excuse. This WAS his first time. You knew better than to push it. So, maybe you'd just try for some light stuff, see if he could follow.

You sat yourself back down, leaning to kiss him again as his hands went right back to your now nude form. His hands were warm, and trailed along your body slowly. Taking in every detail of you as he did, lightly groping where he could as he let out a sound that could have been considered a sort of moan into your lips as he shut his eyes. He was starting to get a bit into it, which was good. Andromon was finally relaxing.

"You are... very soft," he muttered when you pulled away for a moment to breathe, "I do apologize... I--"

"Andromon, you're fine... this is exactly what you should be doing, but... here, let me..." you grabbed his hands, which were resting on the small of your back, guiding them up as you placed his hands upon your breasts. That look of dumbfounded curiosity was so cute as he took a moment and examined what you had done. Slowly he began to move his hands to caress your chest, thumbs rubbing over your perked nipples which caused you to moan softly, slipping a hand down to your core to touch yourself as you arched your back slightly to press your body closer to him to let him touch you more.

Andromon examined you with ever increasing interest. His eyes following your hand as he continued his ministrations to your breasts.

Though, now you began to wonder... did Andromon even have a cock? You never really thought about it beforehand, and so you got a little bit worried this would be completely one-sided between the both of you. You wanted him to feel as good as you were with him touching you and with you massaging your clit. In your wondering, your question was quietly answered when you took a moment to glance down after hearing a soft sound that was like a click.

It turns out Andromon very much did have one, finally slipping out from a hidden mechanism that opened to allow him to be freed. He looked a bit embarrassed when it finally released, looking away as he stopped his motions. You could only giggle as you moved to kiss his cheek, which was burning with heat.

"Andromon, this is normal, you know," you muttered to him, "this is a good thing, it means you're liking what's going on, which I'm glad you are," you smiled, trying to reassure him softly. He was quiet, only giving a shy nod as he swallowed hard. "I'm going to touch you a bit more, alright?"

"O.. Okay..."

"... Do you want me to stop?" you asked, a bit worried if it was too much for him. He quickly looked to you and shook his head.

"No! Please... please, continue to touch me..." he whispered, which made you blink and giggle as you pressed your lips to his once more to gently calm him down. Which worked, as he leaned into it. He had already improved with that, which was a bit surprising to you. Perhaps he was taking the information and storing away how to properly perform... Oh.. that would be exciting for later.

You removed your fingers from your core, having both tried to rub your clit and finger yourself to prep yourself, your fingers covered with your own slick. You moved the hand to gently touch his cock, which made him jump slightly where he sat, his hands slightly gripping on your chest harshly, which you quickly backed away and slapped his hands.

"S... Sorry..." he mumbled, which you could only sigh and nod your head in forgiveness for his actions. Even if he was expecting it after you told him, it was clear he didn't know how else to really react. At least it wasn't too harsh, it just surprised you a little too much out of fear he might actually hurt you. His grip could be quite terrifyingly strong when he needed it to be.

You guided his hands to simply sit on your hips as you went back to touching what you could of him. Trailing your hands down his torso as you returned your hand back to his cock, slowly wrapping around it as much as you could as he was a rather tall Digimon, and so he was almost proportionate. It was radiating heat, and was human enough. Although, you did notice that there was something going on with the underside of his cock. It felt like a soft silicone or some flexible material, ribbed as well. Andromon had shut his eyes as he leaned his head back some, clearly these new sensations were something he didn't know he could feel. He was both enjoying it, but didn't fully know how to react.

You tried to spread yourself so that when you took him into your pussy it wouldn't hurt. You knew it would sting some, since he was pretty big, but it was best to try and prep yourself as much as you could as you also tried to get him accustomed to feeling of something rubbing along his cock. Slow, steady movements applied to him and he was practically trying to hold back his moans as he had his eyes screwed shut nearly.

He twitched in your hand, pre-cum beginning to leak from him to which you only grinned and moved a little closer to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat once more, daring to peek at you as you nipped at his neck some playfully.

"Are you ready, Andromon?" you asked, once again, making certain that he was prepared for you to go further. You had to ask along the way, it only felt right for someone who never experienced such things before. He seemed to think about it as you removed your hand from his cock, moving your hand to spread your nether lips in trying to get yourself a little more prepared.

"Yes. I believe I am... properly prepared for this experience. I will tell you if I am not if the feeling arises.."

You nodded and used his shoulder to support yourself as you lifted up, guiding his cock to your slick entrance. You rubbed him along you, trying to cover him a little more so that his penetration could be a bit easier. He moaned a bit louder than he had been, once more shutting his eyes as he actually shivered, metallic bits rattling as he did.

You eased yourself onto him, biting your lip as he stretched you more in a lovely way. The heat he was radiating rather nice as you lowered yourself down inch by inch, trying to let you and him adjust to the sensations. Andromon applied a bit more pressure as he held your hips, but it wasn't crushing. It was clear he didn't want to hurt you, and so he was trying to control his strength as you finally managed to take him fully.

"God, Andromon..." you moaned, your walls twitching around him as you adjusted to having him inside of you. It felt marvelous, and he was so warm. Now this was better than any fantasy you could of had with him in your mind. Of course, in your fantasy, he was always the one who lead and would take you instead of you sitting and riding him now as you were. Maybe you'd work him up to that if he enjoyed this enough.

And judging from the soft panting and moaning he was letting out, he was very much enjoying you around his cock. You felt amazing to him, and he couldn't hold in his noises anymore.

Especially when you finally decided to start rocking your hips. He let out a louder moan, gritting his teeth, his lower fangs protruding out more than they usually did. You raised a hand to place to his cheek as you caught his lips with yours as you began to set a soft rhythm with him. Not fully raising yourself up, only barely moving yourself up and down on his shaft, going slow as to not make him short-circuit, which it looked like he was close to being.

He moaned your name as he pulled you to him, wrapping an arm around the small of your back as he placed his head against your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you continued on.

His metal fingers dug into your hip as he tried to buck into you. Desperate. You hushed him, gently kissing his neck as you began to rock your hips a bit faster, still trying to not overwhelm him. You let out a yelp as he pushed you to be laying on your back, his hands now back to your hips as he pressed you down onto him, groaning as you felt a sudden shot of warmth inside of you. The sudden rough action causing you to cum along with him, moaning as he held you so close to him.

Andromon panted, still spilling into you far more than you thought he could. Digimon did have a bit of a different biology to them, and so perhaps that was the cause for his excess amount that was now trying to leak out of you. It certainly was able to once he backed away, looking down to your form.

"... Can we... do that again?" he asked, hands now resting on either side of your head as you only stared up at him, gently placing your hands to his cheeks once more as you leaned up to kiss him.

"Only if you think you can handle that again, Andromon," you laughed. He smiled down to you.

"I've learned a lot from that... perhaps another round will help me understand more?" he asked, a little bit shy, "maybe next time I will be able to lead...?"

"Again, Andromon, only if you think you can handle it.~"

[indestinatus]

The Reunion

(Cairo - chapter 2/4)

chapter 1

The streets were long and broad, carrying illustrious names. They’re macadamed and crowded dwellings were located on both sides, with terraces and decorated gates beside long colorful windows with shutters and intricate tapestries swaying in the wind.

The smell of burning fuel and perfume filled the air, as well as strong spices, coriander, cardamom, cumin, and chili, coming from hidden stalls. Vendors shouted various prices and foreign names, and people were busy buying jewelry, clothes and other goods to pay too much attention to anything.

Faint exotic music could be heard from the distance if you trespassed the main market limits and went deeper into the old streets of the city. Sand covered the cobblestones and the heat hugged your body, worse due to the crowd and limited space.

A woman crossed the market plaza swiftly, a blueish cloth protecting her face from the heat and sand. Her dark brown eyes were the only thing visible, and if you looked closer, they were sharp as a knife. She kept her head down as she walked, but her pace was confident and fast.

She'd just took down three men sent by the woman who wanted her dead.

Her name was Sahar.

Loud bells rang from the main chapel, marking three in the afternoon.

It was the 21st of November 2016. Cairo, Egypt.

Ziva David was afraid.

All she could think about was if Tony had seen the message she left on the back of the photo of them in Paris along with Tali's things six months ago.

If he did, he would've already been here. He would've already contacted her. And they would've have one last chance. A chance for her to explain everything, or at least try to.

If he didn't, it was already too late. Since she faked her death in Tel Aviv back in June, everywhere she went, she'd sense she was being watched. Just this week in Cairo, she'd tracked down almost fifteen killers sent by Sahar.

Tonight was her last chance of seeing Tali.

She spent the whole day wiping out the remaining men so that if her family came tonight, they'd had a small hope of safety. Time was running out.

Ziva crossed the street which led to the hotel she was staying. She'd only chosen it because the rooftop was the highest one nearby. Easier for her to take watch, worse for snippers to do their job.

She entered the main hall in a hurry, eager to get to her room. She'd already disposed of the knife but wanted to watch from above if there was any commotion on the streets.

If there was any sign of them.

"Ms. Rainier!" a voice stopped her just in front of the elevator. Oh lech tiz-day-en, what now?

She turned around slowly, the cloth still covering half her face, but the concierge sure saw the deadly haze her eyes carried.

"I-I'm so-sorry, miss, I know you've asked for the utmost disc-cretion," said the short man, sweat covering his forehead, "but there's a gentleman demanding to see you. His name is Jean-Paul. He says he's your husb-band."

Jean-Paul. Jean-Paul Rainier.

"Of course, thank you."

Jean-Paul and Sophie Rainier were the married assassins they portrayed in the undercover operation, a lifetime ago. Ziva always joked with him that if they had another life, perhaps they'd have a chance together. She never knew if he'd remember that.

Apparently, she was wrong.

"Where is he?"

"He's right there, miss. With the stroller."

Ziva turned around. Their eyes met.

It's strange. When someone's very important and you haven't seen them for a long time, as soon as you do it's easier to breathe.

Tony swayed Tali's stroller slowly, a duffel bag hanging from his shoulder. He looked older, more mature. For a moment, they only stared blankly at each other, the world slowing down.

Then Tony looked upwards and sighed heavily, shoulders going down. He looked back at her again, and his eyes were different.

There were tears.

"You sure are difficult to find, sweetcheeks."

Ziva let out a harsh laugh, but her feet couldn't step closer.

Why is that the more you have to say, the harder it is to speak?

"You look tan," she said.

"You look tired," he answered, "almost as if you just came back from the dead."

His eyes looked hurt for a second, "sorry, I had to-"

"Is she-"

"She's sleeping."

Ziva nodded, she didn't know where to start. Even after rehearsing again and again what to say to him, her mind was now blank.

Tony motioned with his head to the elevator, pushing Tali's stroller that way.

Ziva's breath caught in her throat when she saw her daughter sleeping in it. She was sucking her little thumb and holding Kelev tightly.

She was safe. She was cared for. She was loved.

"Yeah, I know," said Tony, "she snores so peacefully, doesn't she? Just like her mother."

Ziva's eyes shot up at that. He was smiling, that boyish DiNozzo smile. Her heart plummeted with the sight.

"You said I snored like a drunken sailor with emphysema."

"Oh, she remembers. Also, you got worse, you used to understand sarcasm in the English language."

They shared a brief laugh when the elevator doors closed, but it didn't last long.

"Sophie Rainier, really?"

"I did not think you would remember."

"I remember everything," his eyes were watching her as if he wouldn't let her leave again. Ziva was looking at Tali.

"I know."

They arrived at her floor and she tried to open the door, but her hands were trembling. Too many meds today.

"Here, let me help," said Tony, grabbing the keys from her hand. His fingers touched hers lightly and her breath caught again. Ziva had dreamed for too long about this moment. Seeing, touching him again. Both of them.

He noticed.

Tony opened her door and let Tali's stroller inside the room. It wasn't big, there was a closet, a bathroom, a double-sized bed and a small suitcase in the corner. The windows, however, were huge, with a beautiful view of the market streets of Cairo below and the pyramids in the distance.

The atmosphere was heavy. Tony gently took Tali out of the stroller and laid her in the bed, putting the duvet over her. She didn't even move, it was like he'd done that many times.

Ziva also wasn't moving. She was as still as a statue, paralyzed with the image of Tony taking care of their daughter. Yes, she'd seen photos of them quite frequently, but she didn't want to think so much about how he would manage to do that.

Now she knew.

It is my job to protect you, Ziva.

Handle with care, contents priceless.

I know you want to change. I can change with you.

He loved Tali just as he loved her all these years.

Ziva kneeled on the floor, hot tears spilling down her cheeks, hands trembling along with her whole body rocking back and forth. Everything was darkness, and she suddenly felt very cold. Her chest hurt as if her heart was ripped from it and shoved back in right after.

Panic attack. Panic attack. Her mind roared.

"I'm sorry, Tony, I'm so sorry," she said again and again.

"Shhhh, it's okay. Hey, it's okay," he answered, whispering softly in her ear as his strong arms held her close to his chest, "we're okay, Ziva. Me and Tali, we're okay, just like you said. Breathe."

Her breathing slowed down after a couple of minutes, his arms still holding her against him, his hand caressing her hair. They were still at the ground.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her chin and lifting her eyes to look at him, "I know you, Ziva. I know you better than you know yourself."

Brown eyes blinked when green ones didn't look away.

"I just need to understand," he said, kissing her temple and still cradling her gently against his chest.

Ziva took a deep breath and let her body relax in his arms. She looked at Tali, sleeping in the bed. She couldn't face him while telling this.

"One day... One day I was ambushed in Israel, Tali was home, and I was in the streets to get her a new crib. Two men attacked me. I managed to bring them down, and learn from one of them they were sent by a woman to kill me. Her name was Sahar. That same day I packed all Tali's things and contacted Adam..."

"Adam? That Adam, the same Adam?"

"Yes, he's helping me. He's the only one who knows about Tali and Sahar."

"He knew about Tali?"

And Tony didn't. Ziva didn't let her own father know.

"He knew once I needed help. He helped me to get Tali to Ori so she could give her to you. You're the only one I trust to keep her safe, Tony."

Ziva could feel his chest go up and down, sense him processing all her mistakes.

"Okay. Go on," was all he said.

"I left a message in the back of a photo of us in Paris. It was all I could do without anyone suspecting that I was still alive."

Tony let out a sharp laugh, "I almost didn't read it in time."

"But you did."

"But I almost-"

"Tony," she said, looking up to him again. His eyes were troubled as if losing her was worse than betrayal, "they still follow me, wherever I go. She wants me dead. She's watching me like an eagle."

"Hawk."

"What?"

"Nothing," he appeared amused.

"Tali... Tali can't stay with me. She needs you. And before you ask, you cannot. You cannot help me, she needs at least one of her parents..."

"Alive."

"Yes."

Tony sighed heavily, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you come to me when you found out about her? Why didn't..."

"I didn't deserve you, Tony. And you deserved more than a broken woman with a horrible past and a difficult future. I was terrified you were going to be furious and time passed and everything turned more complicated and...

"Ziva...," he said, one hand moving to hold her face and his eyes closing, chest heaving several times, "Ziva, if I knew you were pregnant, I would've been there in a second."

She let her forehead rest on his, eyes closing as well. Silent tears ran down her cheeks again, as she started to think about all that didn't come to pass.

"Tony, I-"

"Abba...?"

Ziva's body tensed again.

"It's okay, sweetcheeks, come here. Someone wants to see you."

Sweetcheeks. The term of endearment he used with her was the same he used with his daughter. Their daughter. It was like a hard slap in the face.

Tali hopped to the ground, still holding Kelev. Ziva gaped at her silently, not daring to breathe. She didn't know if she'd recognize her.

Tali drew closer, her little fingers going up to Ziva's face. She traced her nose, cheeks and mouth, going down to her hair and her bare neck. The necklace she used to grasp as a baby was not there.

Tali pulled something from inside her shirt and squeezed, then framed Ziva's face again. The Star of David. Tony gave it to her, Ziva's necklace. Tears continued to stream down her face.

"Ima...?"

Ziva let out the breath she was holding and wiped her tears swiftly.

"Yes, Tali, it's me. It's Ima."

"Ima!" she said, arms gripping Ziva's neck, demanding to be pulled to her chest.

"Oh, mon Coeur," her mother answered, kissing her hair, nose, cheeks, everywhere she could. She missed her so much, too much.

Strong arms embraced both of them, and Tony kissed Ziva's hair.

"Zee?"

"Hum?"

"How much time do we have?"

Ziva sighed, brought back to reality, "Tonight. And maybe tomorrow morning."

To be a family. A few hours to finally be a family, was all they had.

"Are you going to the opera?"

"Yes."

"Can we come with you?"

Ziva kissed Tali once more as she giggled sweetly in her arms.

"Yes."

Tony smiled as a weight lifted off his shoulders. She'd let him in. She'd finally let him in. He had both of them for the first time. He had the love of his life and the proof of their love in his arms, if only for a moment. He had a family.

"Then it's a date."

chapter 3