#but i assumed they would just be labeled 'soundtracks'

[scumgristle]

album of 2025

‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ Score, a Noisy Gem, Will Arrive at Last

Fifty-one years after the smash horror movie, its groundbreaking and unconventional music — long a “holy grail” — will arrive on vinyl.

In 1996, years before helping to found the experimental rock institution Animal Collective, David Portner and Brian Weitz were Baltimore high school pals who diligently hunted for the soundtrack album that perfectly meshed their love of the unorthodox sound worlds of musique concrète and the thrills of horror movies: “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.” “It wasn’t really till years later that I found out that it had never been released,” Portner said.

“The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” changed the horror business when it splattered out in 1974, turning a spartan budget into a $30 million juggernaut and laying groundwork for the blood-soaked slasher genre that dominated the 1980s. Among its many innovations was its unconventional score, an abstract suite of bone-chilling scrapes, metallic clanks, ominous drones and mysterious stingers.

This symphony of discordance, recorded by the film’s director Tobe Hooper and the sound man Wayne Bell, emerged three full years before the first commercially available industrial music from Throbbing Gristle. It anticipated the tape-traded noise music underground that flourished in places like Japan in the 1990s and the American Midwest in the ’00s. But with the master tapes ostensibly lost and Hooper seemingly uninterested in an official release, the “Chain Saw” score survived mostly as a bootleg, often just the entire 83-minute film dubbed to audio cassette from a VHS or Laserdisc.

That half-century of tape hiss and YouTube rips will end in March with a vinyl release on the boutique soundtrack label Waxwork Records. (Pre-orders start this week.)

“It was kind of like a holy grail. Was it even possible to do it?” said the Waxwork co-founder Kevin Bergeron, who had been doggedly pursuing the release for more than a decade. “Everyone has asked. Literally every label from Sony to Waxwork. Major labels to independents to randos living with their parents. Everyone wanted to release it. What would it take to make it happen? No one had any sort of intel, like what would it cost or what would it take.”

Bell had held on to a few of the original tapes, but a majority were assumed lost. After the success of “Chain Saw,” Hooper left Austin for Hollywood, leaving behind a storage shed full of personal effects. But the “Chain Saw” tapes were not absorbing water damage or rotting away in some hot Texas garage: They would be quietly donated to the Harry Ransom Center at the University of Texas at Austin, lovingly archived alongside Albert Einstein’s notes, a Frida Kahlo self-portrait and a Gutenberg Bible.

“Suddenly they’re artifacts,” Bell said in a recent video interview. “Sometimes you need to wear gloves to handle this stuff. So the idea of threading it up on a machine and listening to exactly know what you’ve got? I just had to go by what little notes I had in 1974 and, by eye, just recognizing my handwriting and remembering what tapes we had.” He finally got to hear the digitized version of their audio this year.

With $16 in his bank account, Bergeron first reached out to Bell in 2013, before Waxwork even stamped its first LP. After years playing guitar in horror-centric punk and thrash bands, Bergeron started Waxwork with his girlfriend, Sue Ellen Soto, with the idea of becoming the “Criterion Collection of soundtracks” by releasing albums with newly commissioned artwork, liner notes from the filmmakers and whimsically colored vinyl. Bergeron sent almost-monthly correspondence to Bell for a decade. All emails to Hooper, up to his death in 2017, went unanswered.

“A big pitch of mine was, ‘Look, there’s a lot of parallels between how we conduct business and how you guys conduct business,’” said Bergeron, who sees a corollary between Waxwork’s D.I.Y. ethic and the spirit of idealistic hippies in the desert cobbling together a horror movie. “I would hate to see this precious thing that they’ve guarded for 50 years get in the hands of a major or someone that’s going to do some Hollywood accounting and rip people off.”

Getting the requisite tapes and permissions was an odyssey, but making a coherent album from them would prove a different challenge entirely. As an editor, Bell, 73, is now a seasoned veteran with credits on more than a dozen Richard Linklater movies. He said the estimated 10 to 12 hours of sound on the “Chain Saw” tapes was of good fidelity and would allow the listener to “really hear into this music.” However, nothing was mixed down. This meant a three-month process of reconstructing the familiar cacophony from the original raw materials, hand-scrawled notes and 50-year-old memories.

“It’s putting together a thousand-piece puzzle of very similar-shaped and similar-looking pieces,” he explained.

The tapes contained the sounds as they were originally recorded in the 1970s: Bell and Hooper experimenting and laughing on the carpeted floor of a spare bedroom belonging to the director’s then-girlfriend, Paulette Gochnour. The body of an upright bass was used as a reverb chamber and its metal bridge served as a mount for a mobile made of can lids. Cymbals were scraped against the strings of a lap steel guitar. Lithography plates were flapped around like dish towels. Children’s percussion instruments were chimed and rattled. When Bell heard Gochnour cooking with an 11-inch sauce pan, its bell-like tone inspired him to fill it halfway with water and strike it with a timpani mallet.

“Just because the sound comes from a stringed instrument, you could torture it such that you don’t know that that’s a string instrument or it doesn’t necessarily sound musical,” said Bell, who had already honed these techniques in playful jam sessions with Hooper. “Clearly these sounds had emotional properties, they made you think this or that, would trigger the mind. So it was a fertility that was right there already for us.”

After these sounds were pieced together and matched with the grainy footage of Leatherface’s murder spree, they took on a life that extended far beyond the borders of Texas. In ’80s London, where “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” was banned outright, the Iphar label sold cassette bootlegs of the score alongside first-generation extreme noise artists like Ramleh, S.P.K. and Consumer Electronics. Alternative metal bands in the ’90s including Nine Inch Nails, White Zombie and Marilyn Manson peppered their albums with “Chain Saw” dialogue and sounds. The fleet-fingered oddball guitarist Buckethead professed that he would solo over the drone feast that follows the actor William Vail getting bludgeoned to death with a hammer. The director Nicolas Winding Refn pushed the composer Cliff Martinez to put more “Chain Saw” influence in the game-changing synth soundtrack to “Drive” from 2011.

Aaron Dilloway, a solo artist and onetime member of the noise band Wolf Eyes, called the “Chain Saw” score “ground zero for noise music.” He recorded the entire film to audio cassette and would play it in the van on Wolf Eyes tours, and once accompanied the rest of the band using “Chain Saw” audio played on a variable speed cassette player. (He accidentally concluded the set with an incredibly spooky recording of the actor Paul A. Partain’s disembodied voice calling out for Jerry the van driver.)

“Nothing sounds like that. Nothing,” Dilloway said of Hooper and Bell’s score. “I mean, there’s little bits and stuff here and there, but nothing’s been able to get that screech like that — eeeeeerrrgh. There’s nothing else like it. And it’s always just been stuck in my head. You want to strive for that. Make something as scary and as unique as that sound.”

Portner, who records as Avey Tare, spent Animal Collective’s earliest days in New York without a practice space or much room to hold instruments. “It was a way of seeing that you could make music with anything,” he said of the score. “You could have as much of a dramatic effect or emotional effect just banging on pots and pans if that’s all that was around.”

With the official Waxwork release — complete with two never-heard-before cues — the “Chain Saw” score’s legacy is secure, though its story may not be finished. Bell estimated that he had 95 percent of the material, but said there was still a single missing tape he would like to incorporate to complete the picture.

“There’s a cue that I knew I didn’t have,” he explained, “and I didn’t want to do an ersatz version of that. ’Cause it’s very important that it be what ‘Chain Saw’ fans expect. I’ve felt a big responsibility to deliver this. A responsibility to myself and to Tobe and to the film, but also to the fans.”

Starting in 2022, he even started appearing at horror conventions. He found the gaggle of cosplaying “Chain Saw” fans to be interesting and likable.

Said Bell with a laugh, “I’ve never been around so many Leatherfaces in my life.”

[differenteagletragedy]

one of my olba mcs is so taylor swift-coded it’s unreal and it was a total accident despite me a fan, but it’s been in my brain for a while. and it’s even better that that mc was for baxter. and then i got to thinking… like how would he be with a mc who’s Basically taylor swift (assuming miss swift doesn’t exist in the ol universe)? like teen singer icon turned global superstar who plays the guitar and piano, writes and sings almost solely about love and her love life, and even wrote a few songs about them.

personally, i think baxter would Not Have A Good Time (tm), since he left in step 3 and did his best to forget about mc. and now mc’s breakup songs (one which was Definitely written about him) are plastered on the radio and their love songs are being played at weddings and their face is all over the news and social media, he can’t escape them LMAO!

and you know mc would show up to jude and scott’s wedding and sing some of their songs (acoustically) cause if you have a global superstar at your wedding, it’d be a little foolish not to have them sing (also cause they probably wrote a cute lil song for jude and scott and wanted to perform it). and i can just imagine mc making The Most Intense eye contact ever with baxter as they’re singing a small set of their popular songs (love songs and break up songs included) LMAO

but what do you think? it’s been rattling around in my brain for a long time and i like Have to talk to someone about it LMAO!!!

Honestly, I don't think I'm the right person to ask for this, I really don't ever imagine any of my MCs anything like this ... PYSCH. I have actually thought about this a lot because it's very fun, so hop in, OP, we're going for a ride!

-- So the way I picture it is that MC has always been good with music, always written songs and played some instruments and sang. After they graduate high school, they decide they don't want to go to college, they want to pursue a career in music and they're making some steps to get there when Baxter shows up.

-- They let MC play at the country club sometimes because the family has been members there so long, but also MC is just really good too. Cove always comes along to see MC perform, and so do Miranda, Terry and Derek when they can. This is how Baxter first sees MC sing and he is MOVED.

-- Since MC is Taylor coded, they can pop out songs like nobody's business, so by the time Baxter sees them perform they already have a cute little early romance song about him. Depending on how bold MC is, they could play it, or not! But it exists.

-- So sort of as the relationship gets more intense, MC starts getting more opportunities to go professional. I like to imagine that Baxter takes MC to LA to meet with a record label, because even though he's not a city boy he's well traveled, and he would just handle himself well in that kind of situation I think. Also, road trip!

-- And yeah, then Baxter leaves, and he's like "out of sight, out of mind," but not so fast mister man. It may take a couple of years for MC to get the amount of mainstream success that makes them a household name, but they get there and yeah, he is having a Very Bad Time indeed.

-- This is not an original thought, but "Cruel Summer" is about Baxter so.

-- He does his best to avoid it. He won't listen to the radio, he won't look at magazine covers. But eventually MC just gets to be unavoidable, and that's no fun.

-- Like to the point where he's just overhearing people gossip about MC at work, can he not get a moment's peace?

-- No.

-- He does his best, but hearing some songs and some facts about MC's life is just going to happen. Maybe he's watching a movie and one of their songs is on the soundtrack, something like that. It's hard because he still thinks they have the loveliest voice, and it would be so easy to just do a deep dive on all their songs and throw a big pity party, but he tries not to.

-- At one particularly low point he'll give in though. He'll just lay on his couch listening to the latest album with a bottle of whine, so deep in his feelings.

-- He will never ever ever talk about it though. No one knows he knows MC or about his secret pain.

-- They just think he's a hater, which is fine by him.

-- Baxter is a professional though, so if someone wants one of their songs to be their first dance song at their wedding, then that is perfectly fine. He can cry in the parking lot after.

-- After MC's presence gets to be so much, he might sneak a peek at a magazine, just out of curiosity, not because he still has any feelings, definitely not. If it's about someone breaking their heart, he'll be miffed about it but then realize he has no right because he also broke their heart and cue a downward spiral. But if it's about them being happy in a new relationship, he'll be sad that it's not him, so a downward spiral is happening either way.

-- If he really wants to hate himself, he'll google them. He's not brave enough to go for social media though.

-- When he meets back up with them for Jude and Scott's wedding, he'll try to ignore them, but when they force him to talk he'll act like he has no idea that they're a Big Deal.

-- And THEN if MC performs at the wedding, oof. He'll avoid it at all cost because while he's the planner, he also just cannot deal. They'd do a love song during the reception and what a coincidence, that's when Baxter has to do something outside for just a quick moment.

-- Ok, but then they get back together and MC is all in, and the fans are going rabid over Baxter. He's so pretty! He'd a wedding planner, how romantic! Is he just with MC for their money? Let's hope they don't find out that they actually dated for the first time five years ago, because then fans would be on the hunt for clues that old songs are about him. Baxter would be a little scared, but he can handle it!

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

Brother's Keeper AU:

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How did Caleb live so long? How can he still be here after 400 years?

A: Belos wanted him to stick around and so he made it happen. As for specifics: *shrugs* your guess is as good as mine! This is something I've preferred to leave up to the readers. I will simply confirm that he isn't hiding any goop powers or OP palisman-given magical abilities. He is, for all intents and purposes, a regular human who is somehow really, really old.

Q: If Caleb is still alive, where did Hunter come from?

A: The full story here hasn't been told yet, but you may notice Caleb is missing quite a few bones...

Q: Caleb's ears are pointed! Did Belos cut them??

A: Correct

Q: Does Caleb know about the Collector/the basilisks/Belos' plans?

A: Probably! He's been Belos' sounding board for 400 years. Access to things that could "further corrupt him" or provide him a tool for escape, however, are off limits, so there are many things, like the Collector, that he's heard about but never seen for himself.

Q: Where's Flapjack/Amity/Darius/etc?

A: This is basically a canon divergence. If you haven't seen a particular character, it's safe to assume for now that they're up to whatever they were doing in canon.

Q: I don't get it. Why is Caleb insane?

A: I suggest you reread the first few story posts, my friend! You have fallen for Belos' lies.

Q: Do you have a posting schedule? When will the next part come out?

A: There is no posting schedule. I draw (mostly but not always) traditionally in my free time, for the fun of telling a cool story, and some posts are longer than others. That means the timing of the next post depends on how long it is, how much time I have, and whether or not I'm at home with access to my scanner. Sometimes this means I post quickly. Sometimes it means you'll see me next month. Sorry about that.

Just know that if I know there's going to be an extended wait, especially one where I'm not actively working on the next drawing, I will make an announcement about it. If you haven't seen an update in a while but I also haven't said anything, it's almost definitely because I'm actively chipping away at a part of the story that's taking me longer.

Q: Why do some of the story posts have a letter after the number? Are these less important than the regular story posts? Can I skip them?

A: No, I Do Not Recommend skipping them! They are just as important as the others. They have a letter on the end because they were added later and I use letters as a way to avoid renumbering everything. If you see story posts labeled something like "3, 3A, 4", they are meant to be read the same as you would if they were "3, 4, 5".

Q: Can I make art/fic/cosplay of this au?

A: Knock yourself out! If you post it somewhere, please include credit, but otherwise I don't mind, and actually love seeing what you do with it! If it's NSFW though, please keep it in appropriate spaces with proper warnings.

Q: Wait there's fic/fanart?? Can I see?

A: If you look through the tag on my blog "BK fridge gallery" you can browse any content shared with me that I've reblogged. :) People are free not to share it with me too though, and there are some I don't reblog, especially if its gorey or suggestive, so you might be able to find a bit more elsewhere under the Brother's Keeper AU name if you look for it.

You may also notice I have a featured tag called "BK Soundtrack." That's for songs that people have suggested to go with the AU. You are welcome to browse or suggest songs of your own ;)

Q: :( I sent an ask but you didn't answer. Did you get it?

A: Probably, yes. Sometimes it takes me a few days to get to it. However, if it was theorizing about future plot points, I may actually be holding onto it with plans to answer at a more appropriate time. I like to keep many of my plans for the story close to the chest, so don't be surprised if your theory ask disappears only to show up many months later when the story has progressed to a point where I can give you a more in depth answer.

[elisysd]

10. Way Down We Go

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Way down we go - KALEO

Stepping out of the taxi, in front of the airport, Julia took a deep breath. She was supposed to be excited. She was flying to Baku, in Azerbaijan, for one of her favorite races of the season.She always had good memories there from the time when she was going, with her mom to watch her dad racing there. He knew the corners like the back of his hands and she did too. Baku had always been her favorite track to race on her dad’s simulator. She liked the narrow corners and how there was no room for mistakes. It was fast and precise. She knew that qualifying was going to be important there as, like on every city track, it was hard to overtake.

She dragged her suitcase to the check in before heading towards the security and then the gate where her dad was waiting for her. Although she was dreading to see him, she had hoped he would be alone and was slightly disappointed to notice Elijah and Martin were there. She didn’t want either of them to witness her conversation with her dad. When she saw him on the tarmac, she felt like a little girl all over again. He was looking at her with his blue green eyes and she swore she could feel a certain coldness in them, one that she was never the one to receive. She gulped and braced herself.

“No boyfriend around?” Charles asked.

“Dad…please can we talk about it?”

“I’m listening.”

“I’ve never meant to hide it from you. It happened so fast and I’m still not sure if we can put a label on what’s going on between Ethan and I. I didn’t want to say anything to anyone before being absolutely sure of what I was feeling.”

He nodded but his jaw was still tense.

“I want to see him.”

“Dad…”

“I just want him to know that I’m not giving my daughter away to the first guy that comes around. He will have to prove he is worthy of you.”

“And here we go… What are you going to do?”

“A karting race? Him against I. He wins, I back off and leave you alone. I win, he will feel my breath on his neck for the foreseeable future.” Charles explained, a proud grin on his face.

“You know he has no chance against you.”

Charles shrugged and smiled brightly. He was proud of his idea. And even if Julia hated how her dad was acting all over protective with her, she couldn’t help but smile. She would pay good money to witness something like that. They boarded the plane and Julia decided to sit at the back, wanting a little peace and quiet to work on some data and prepare the best setup for the cars. She put her headphones on and as she was logging in on her laptop, she saw a shadow towering over her. Martin was there, two coffees in his hands, one she assumed for him and the other for her.

“Cappuccino?” he asked with a sweet smile on his face.

“Is it oat milk?”

“Well, no.”

“I’m lactose intolerant. Sorry. But my dad is not, I’m sure he could use a coffee.”

She was not. She loved coffee and she hated oat milk. But even if she hated the idea to admit it, Ethan was right. She couldn’t get too close to other drivers especially when there might be underlying feelings other than friendship in the mind of the Ferrari's driver.Entertaining whatever there could be between them was a bad idea and a very dangerous game to play. She knew that it took Martin by surprise, probably did he expect a warm smile and thank you. But even if she appreciated Martin, she had to set some limits. She refused to look at him, knowing full well that she wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to tell him to sit down and to talk to her. She wanted to be his friend but she also knew that people around them and the media would never interpret it that way. Better not risk anything, she thought. She put back her headphone on and tried to forget the world around her.

On the opposite side of the plane, Charles couldn’t help but look at his daughter, so engrossed in her work as if nothing could phase her. She was growing up. She was not his little girl anymore. He was proud of her; she was everything he had ever hoped she would be. She didn’t need him anymore, she didn’t need his approval and admitting it felt like ripping his heart open. He was not ready for that. And he knew that his behavior was only making her drift further away from him. Guilt was eating him inside, he already had a difficult relationship with his son, he didn’t want to let down his daughter. So he did what he usually did when he felt unsure about something and needed help, he called his wife.

“I was wondering how long you would take before calling me to complain.” she said to him after he finished sharing his thoughts about Julia and Ethan.

“I’m not complaining. You know how much Julia’s happiness is important to me. I want what’s best for her.”

“She has a boyfriend Charles, you act like your world is falling apart. Let her live her life.”

“I can’t help but feel the need to protect her, Lya.”

“She is not a kid anymore, Charles! You don’t have to protect her from all the cruel things on earth anymore.” she argued.

“She is my little girl, Lya. She is my baby.”

“And she will always be. Always. You will always be the first person she will come to whenever there is something wrong. You are her dad. But you have to let her grow up.”

“I don’t want her to grow up. I’m not ready to let her grow up.”

“I’m not either. It scares me. But the good thing is, we can be scared together.”

“I don’t like Ethan.”

“You like Ethan. You don't like the fact that he likes Julia.”

“True,” he confessed after a short while.

After a few hours of flight, Julia was happy to exit the plane as soon as it landed. She needed to escape, she needed some air, she needed to be far away from her dad, and far away from the guilty feeling she was getting when she was near him. So as soon as she left the Baku airport and said her goodbyes to the Ferrari’s Team Principal and teammates, her head was set on trying to make her mind forget all about the guilt and the lies. Her plan was to drop her suitcases in her room, put on some gym clothes and go for a run. But feeling how hot Baku was, she had to rethink it. She wouldn’t last ten minutes under the bright sun. Thankfully her hotel had a gym that had a view on the whole city. It was almost six in the evening and she was not expecting to see anyone. So when she stepped in the room and saw that it was occupied she almost wanted to go back to her room. It was not for nothing that she hated going to the gym and was avoiding it whenever she could. She hated the judgemental look some people could give and she hated having to think about giving space on the machine to others. Running was a way to quiet the voices in her head and to calm her down. Gyms were stressing her out.

She stayed in the opening of the door trying to see if the guy that was working out was going to leave at some point. She didn’t take long before recognising Ethan. Of course, who else would work out without a shirt on. She rolled her eyes and shook her head more by reflex than true annoyance. A part of her couldn’t help but stare at him as he was doing core strength exercises, all his muscles contracting. He was good looking, Julia couldn’t deny it. Being a professional athlete definitely changed his body for the better. Julia suddenly felt hot and it had nothing to do with the outside temperature. And as if he felt her presence, Ethan finally looked up and straight in her direction. She felt herself blush.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer Joolsie.” he finally said with a half-smile.

“That line is outdated, you know. It has been unanimously decided by the entire women population.”

He silently laughed and took a step towards her, looking her straight in the eyes as if he was the hunter and she was the prey. He bent down and Julia could feel his breath on her. She slightly gasped when she felt his left arm brushing past hers.

“Can you move Joolsie? I need to take my water bottle.”

It was enough to pull her out of her trance. She moved to the side and headed for the treadmill as far as possible of where Ethan was working out. She still felt his gaze on her and she was sure he was smirking. She could feel it. She tied her hair tighter and started to run. If she closed her eyes hard enough she could almost swear that she was alone. But it was without counting on the idiotic Maserati’s driver who decided that annoying her was much more interesting than sticking to his workout routine. She felt his presence next to her and soon, as she opened her eyes and stared in the window’s reflection, she saw Ethan running next to her, his gaze fixed on her, grinning.

“Don’t you have other exercises to do?”

“I need to work on my cardio.” he shrugged.

She shook her head and tried to focus again on her run but it was pointless, with Ethan next to her it was almost impossible. She moved on to some stretching as Ethan took place, again, next to her. He was in a mood to annoy her.

“Julia?” he asked after a while.

“What do you want?”

“I need to do some lifts.”

“Go ahead.”

“Can I lift you?”

She almost tripped and fell. She looked at him, an eyebrow arched and saw that he was completely serious.

“I need some challenge.” he added as it was totally normal.

“No. You are not going to lift me.” she simply answered.

“Lovely how you seem to think that I’m giving you the choice.”

She didn’t have the time to reply that Ethan caught snaked an arm around her waist and the other behind her knees and effortlessly lifted her as Julia tried her best to wiggle her way out of his grip.

“Strengthen your core Julia for fuck’s sake!  I’m going to fall!” warned Ethan.

“I’ve never asked for that! Let me down!”

“Stop moving so much! Stay still.”

And what was bound to happen, happened. Ethan lost his balance and his grip on the young woman. As he tried to soften their inevitable fall, he felt his right elbow hit Julia in her ribs, eliciting a yelp from her. They were both on their asses, now and Julia was grimacing, rubbing her left side in order to soothe the pain. Ethan felt immediately guilty and was quick to get up, stretching his hand so Julia could take it. She was still holding her left side and Ethan gulped. It was a stupid idea and a very good way to introduce himself as Julia’s boyfriend to her dad. Sure, he would score points with the Ferrari’s team principal that way.

“I’m sorry Julia. I didn’t think…”

“Yeah! Maybe that’s your problem, Ethan. You don’t think and you don’t listen. Shit, that hurts.”

“I think I have some cream against bruises, in my bag.” he said as he ruffled in his sport bag, desperately trying to find what he was searching for and letting out a victory cry when he finally got a hold of it.

“I think you did enough.”

“Take it, apply it as soon as possible if you want to prevent the bruise from appearing. I always have one tube with me. My mom insists on it and it’s very effective you’ll see.” he explained, apologizing once again.

Julia ended up taking it and thanked him before leaving the room. She was mortified and the only thing she wanted was to crawl in her bed and forget the incident.

The weekend was going to be really hot, Julia thought, arriving early in the paddock for the Free Practices, a box of pastries under her arm. They were her dad’s favorites and she hoped that it would make him less angry and disappointed in her. She made her way towards the Ferrari’s hospitality, in search of her dad. It didn’t matter that she had her Skoda’s jacket, the team let her through without questions and Julia thought that she really had to talk to her dad about that. Even if everybody knew she was his daughter, she was still from another team and she shouldn’t have easy access to the garage. She found her dad talking with the director of strategy. She didn’t want to interrupt and so she waited in a corner. As soon as Charles saw his daughter he stopped his conversation and walked to her. Julia only had the time to put the pastries on the side before being engulfed in a bear hug.

“Dad…”

“I’m sorry, Ju’. I don’t want to be that kind of dad. It’s just…”

“It’s fine, dad. I’m not mad.”

“It’s not fine. You are an adult and you can make your own decisions and I should be here supporting you, it’s just… admitting you are growing up is admitting that I might not have the same place in your life and it hurts.” he confessed.

“Thank you. For telling me that.” she didn’t know what to add, she had never been one to express her feelings.

“I’m just scared. I’ve started to read things in the press and…”

“I don’t care about the tabloids, dad. I know my worth and nothing they can publish will change that. I’m not even reading them.”

“It will be worse when they will know that you are dating Ethan.”

Julia shrugged. She knew that it would be bad but it would be a cross she would cross when she would get there. She didn’t want to think about it. She would be forced to, soon enough.

“I just don’t want to see you mad at me. I don’t like it.”

“I could never be mad at you, Ju’. Never. That’s your mom’s job, not mine.She is the bad cop and I’m the nice one.”

Julia playfully punched her dad’s shoulder to which he reciprocated a little too hard, making Julia lose her balance. In the attempt to stay on her feet, she moved her body a bit too fast, waking up the pain in her rib. She had applied Ethan’s cream and it made wonders, there was a bruise but it was light. She definitely expected worse. But it still hurt. Seeing her daughter’s face and her hand going automatically to her left side made Charles frown.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“All good. It’s just that Ethan and I have been stupid and my rib is hurting a little bit and… wait dad? Where are you going?”

She saw her dad making his way towards the exit of the garage and followed him. He was heading to the Maserati’s garage, of course, she thought, and she regretted mentioning the incident. She tried to stop him, telling him that it was not bad, that they were just playing and had not been careful enough. Ethan felt bad enough about it, he didn't want Charles to scold him or go full dad’s mode on him. But Charles didn’t care and didn’t seem to listen to her.

As they approached the Maserati’s garage, Julia tried to make huge signs with her arms in an attempt to catch Ethan’s attention and to warn him. He finally noticed her as he was talking to his race engineer. He excused himself and went to her, his hands in his pockets. And then he saw how Charles looked grumpy and he knew that he was screwed.

“Charles? Julia?”

“It’s Mr. Leclerc from now on for you Ethan. Did you really think that I wouldn’t learn about you and my daughter? Did you sincerely think that you could go behind my back and date her without my permission? And most importantly, how dare you hurt her?”

“Dad! Leave him alone!”

Ethan would have laughed if he had not had so much respect for Charles. Instead, he suppressed a smile that was threatening to form on his lips. Right now was not the time.

“I’ve been careless, I’m sorry about that but Julia shouldn’t have moved so much. It wouldn’t have happened.”

“It shouldn’t have happened indeed.” confirm Charles.

People were starting to look at them, making Julia uncomfortable.She stepped in front of Charles and asked him to take a step back. So much for wanting to control the narrative about her and Ethan’s relationship. Charles abdicated unwillingly and before leaving, looked Ethan straight in the eyes.

“What do you think about a karting race, Ethan? Just you and me?”

“I’d say I would love that but aren’t you a bit too old?” replied Ethan, making Julia mentally facepalmed.

“I’ll show you on the track that I can beat you Ethan Verstappen and I promise you that I will sweep this little arrogant smile off of your face.” said Charles in a low voice, pointing his index finger at him.

Julia couldn’t help a laugh to escape her throat, catching her dad’s attention.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just funny how tables have turned now that we are dating. I remember vividly how we had a conversation about me being an adult and being mature with Ethan. Look at you now.” she said sarcastically as Ethan couldn’t refrain his laughter anymore.

“It was before I learned that he was dating my daughter!”

And just like that he left, leaving the two young adults laughing together.

It didn’t take long before the word spread out in the paddock about Julia and Ethan. People were prompt to get that they were more or less of an item after the way Charles ran to Ethan. In a way, it made things easier for Ethan as he didn’t have to hide or sneak away to get to the Skoda’s garage. It was way easier. After both of the practice sessions and his helmet under his arms, he went to see her and didn’t forget to smile as he passed by Niels and Noah who looked at him weirdly. Julia was talking with another engineer, watching the screen as she was pointing back and forth on a curve and something on her notebook. She seemed frustrated. It was in the way she was carrying herself, her back stiff, her lips tied and her emotionless look. One he knew all too well, that was the look she was always giving him.

He waited, alone, for her to pack her stuff and leave and when she finally did he was welcomed with a little smile.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, genuinely surprised to see him there.

“I thought we could leave together, you know for the rumors and all. And I wanted to know how you were doing? Your bruise and your dad… just thought I could be nice.”

“Who would have thought that you could be?”

“Hey! I’m not a total asshole.”

She stopped, as Ethan kept walking. When he noticed she wasn’t next to him anymore, he paused and looked at her.

“What?”

“You are not a total asshole. That’s true. Excuse me, I need a little time to process the information, the realization just hit me. It’s weird.”

“Sometimes, I wonder why I’m bothering talking to you… It was better when we were hating each other.”

“Well you have only yourself to blame. It’s you who asked for my help. If you had not been so careless with this girl…”

“I was not careless.” he was suddenly serious. “I’m innocent Julia. Believe me.”

And for an unknown reason, she believed him.

Ethan woke up the next day with a smile on his face. Today was his birthday, he was twenty-four and he was happy to celebrate it on the tracks. He hoped that the qualifying would go well for him, that would be his best birthday present. A part of him couldn’t wait to go back home and celebrate it with his friends and his family, properly. Hundreds of notifications were wishing him a happy birthday. From strangers on the internet to friends, to distant cousins and relatives. He took a few minutes to answer some of them before opening his mom’s text. It was short, just a simple happy birthday with an invitation for lunch as soon as he would be back. But the last few words struck him. She invited him with his girlfriend and Ethan could feel his own trap falling on him. He had to talk to Julia, he couldn’t lie to his mom anymore, not when Charles knew about him and Julia and paparazzi pictures were on the internet. He just hoped the young Leclerc would be fine with it.

Ethan had never been a huge fan of city tracks, that’s why he approached the Saturday qualifying with a reasonable amount of confidence, but his focus on the maximum level. He just wanted to have a position that would not make him far from the points. The second sector was the most tricky part for him with the successive corners and he had to admit, he was a bit apprehensive. It was going to be hard but he would give his all. As expected, he struggled a lot with sector two, losing too much time and ending up in the traffic that almost cost him to get eliminated in Q1. The Q2 was not as bad as he could have expected and he was going to start P12 right next to Martin and his P13. The start was going to be tricky; he hated being in the middle of the pack where everyone was always aggressive, especially since he was next to a Ferrari that would try everything to go back to the top as fast as possible. He would need to be extra focused when he would enter the first corner.

The surprise of the qualifying was coming from Skoda who managed, Ethan didn’t know by what miracle, to place both of the cars in Q2 taking the P14 and the P15. A part of the young Maserati’s driver couldn’t help but wonder if Julia’s ideas about the upgrades were finally showing results. He hoped it was the case and that unexpected thought surprised him.

Finally, race day came by quickly and with it a beautiful surprise from his team. A huge strawberry cake had been cooked for him and twenty-four candles were displayed on him. His birthday’s song could be heard from outside the doors of the hospitality and it warmes Ethan’s heart. After all, they didn’t hate him entirely and even Harun, his teammate that didn’t like to mingle with other people and that Ethan was sure hated him, was there. But the festivities turned short as it was soon time for the driver to take their place in their cars. Once his visor was down, Ethan was not fearing anything. It was as if something switched inside him. He was another version of himself, focused and determined on one thing only, the win.

As expected, the start was messy and Martin tried to close the door for Ethan in the first corner to avoid the undertaking. Ethan anticipated his move and tried to force an opening. Both of them didn’t want to let the other pass through to the point that it came close to a contact.

“Ethan, don't fight. Stay in Poleck’s trail and wait for the opportunity.” said his race engineer on his radio.

“Copy.”

“Just focus on what’s in front. We are not scared about the Skodas and we expect a Safety Car at some point. Let’s wait for it and in the meantime, manage your tires.

“Copy.”

And that’s what Ethan did. For a few laps he worked on putting pressure on Martin’s by staying in his rear view mirrors, hoping that at some point the Polish guy would break and make a mistake. It ended up happening in sector two where Martin locked his wheel in one of the trickier corners and put his Ferrari front wing first in the wall. Ethan managed to avoid him, just in time before the red flag was raised.

In the Ferrari’s garage, a collective sigh of disapproval was heard. It was not the first time that something like that happened with Martin and everyone knew that it was going to cost a lot of money, considering the damage. But they still had one driver to focus on, thought Charles as Martin was coming back, his helmet still on his face and walking angrily to his room. They had a few minutes before the restart and Charles decided to go and see him. He knocked on the door and waited for it to open. Martin was getting rid of his suit and was in a bad mood.

“Do you have five minutes or would you rather be alone?” Charles asked.

“I keep on making stupid mistakes, you can be mad at me Charles.”

“It could have happened to anyone, even Elijah. This corner is not the easiest. I know one thing or two about it. I hit it too when I was a rookie too in Ferrari. It didn’t prevent me from being three times World Champion. I learned from it, worked harder to not make the mistake twice and eventually I won there. We will rewatch the crash to understand where it came from and what we could have done collectively to prevent it.”

“I locked the wheel and then I lost the rear, I was keeping an eye on Verstappen and I lost my focus. But maybe it wouldn’t have happened if the car was actually driveable. I can’t keep going like that, it’s a pain in the ass to drive it on city tracks.”

“We will see what we can do to help you. The car is not what we hoped it would be, that's for sure.” confessed Charles, feeling sorry for Martin. He knew all too well what it felt like to drive a car that was not suiting your driving style.

In the Skoda’s hospitality, it was celebration time. Both drivers had done their best race up to date. Sure they were not yet in the points but they had been so close. Everyone was happy and it gave Julia the confidence she needed to go to Wilhelm and talk to him about the upgrades she had thought about. Everything was ready, she even had simulation data along with a list of the benefits and how much it would cost. She breathed in and breathed out a few times before confidently going to him.

As for Ethan, he managed a P11, not the birthday gift he was expecting but he knew it was the best he could achieve with his car. He just regretted to not be able to bring some points to the team. But still, overall it was a good race. Not one to remember but not one to forget. He was sure they could extract information from it to help them make a step forward. And on a more personal level, he felt an improvement in his driving. So it as a good Sunday and he was looking forward to his one week break before starting the Asian part of the season. As he was making his way out of the media pen, ready to get back to the hotel he saw Julia sat on the border of the starting grid, her head lowered. It was starting to be a bit late and he knew most of the teams had already left. Intrigued, he got closer until he heard sobs coming from her.

“Julia? What are you doing here? What’s wrong?” he said as he sat beside her.

“It’s nothing. It’s just… it’s stupid. And you shouldn’t be here, I wanted to be alone.”

“So no one could see you cry. Do you want me to get your dad or Romy?”

“I don’t want anyone to see me like that.I’m fine, I promise.”

“No offense, Joolsie but you look like shit.”

“And you know exactly how to cheer on someone…” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes with the back of hand.

“I could do it better if I knew what was happening.”

“I told you, it’s nothing. Working for Skoda is not what I expected, that's it. It’s just that I’m making a big fuss out of it when in reality it’s okay… I thought that I could be useful and I wanted to help so I designed some upgrades. I had this whole thing ready and I was so happy just to be turned down by Wilhelm. I’m here to execute orders not to think. He threw everything away… all my work.”

It angered Ethan more than he thought it would. He hated injustice. F1 was first and foremost a team sport. If you wanted your team to perform you needed the help of everyone. All suggestions were worth to be taken into account and no one should feel disrespected or deserved to be talked down to. He threw an arm over Julia’s shoulder before forcing her to lean on him.

“Wilhelm doesn’t deserve your tears. It’s his loss. I’m sure your ideas were amazing.”

“They were. They really were.” she paused, deep in her thoughts “But you’re right. If Skoda doesn’t want my ideas, maybe my dad and Ferrari will.”

She got up and straightened her tee shirt, before looking right in front of the Ferrari’s garage with a determined look on her face.

Author's note: What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[alexissara]

Quick Review: Stray Gods

Stray Gods is among the rare, the few, the musical video game. This is a visual novel/musical that reinvents Greek myth and provides a modern story about reincarnation, trauma, pain, murder, mystery and romance. The games gameplay is very simply put, making choices, there isn't more to it then that but the choices feel impactful.

I played one run with my GF and my Metamore romancing Persephone. After that run I did listen on youtube to more of the outcomes and possibilities [in particular the rest of the Freddie romance] but have not replayed it or anything like that. I feel like I got everything I wanted from the game with just that alone but maybe one day I'll revisit. We had a play time of roughly 8 hours but a lot of time was us talking over choices together or on a pause menu the game is fairly shorter than that if your playing it solo. Especially if you just lock in on one person you wanna grab romantically. Even more so in further playthroughs where you aren't going to need to ask as many questions.

The games music is good but I don't think there is a lot of stand out banger songs. Like I am not really belting these songs out in my head or wanting to rewatch the song over and over like with many other musical moments in animated series or from proper musicals. I really love You and I (Reprise) and that is the one song that atm has returned to my head. I think a large part of why the songs aren't super sticking with me though is that the tone of the songs are mostly more somber and mellow where I prefer a more action packed or upbeat song from my musicals. I do think the songs can feel a little weird because their designed in pieces to fit together by player choices but when you listen to them on the soundtrack they do pretty much all clear.

The queerness in Stray Gods is better than average, a progress pride flag exists in Freddie and Grace's room but that flag is a generic pride flag not putting a particular label on Freddie or Grace's sexuality. As far as I can tell no character uses any labels one can assume Grace is bi in so much that she can romance 2 men and 2 women but perhaps they want you to self insert your sexuality into her. Still it would have been nice to talk more about sexuality in this game especially when talking about passing down Eidolons and stuff. Perhaps it's too messy of a topic but it was something in my head. We do some a touch of unavoidable queerness with Persephone having a past lover who is a woman who as far as I know is not at all optional to miss. That said Freddie's feelings for Grace are pretty unavoidable but I know straight people aren't very smart so I do think they could somehow miss it. The game also sadly lacks polyamory despite being about Greek gods and that not making any sense.

Overall, I think the game is really well voice acted and good experience. I recommend listening to a song or two online to see if the music clicks with you because you probably won't want to play the game if you don't enjoy that since it's the main event. It's a fun time with a good cast and fairly simple. The story can get fairly dark with suicidal ideation, PTSD, Abuse, etc all being themes but for me they were all handled well but perhaps that was how we handled choices. I really like the game overall and I will probably be on the hunt for Grace X Freddie and Grace X Persephone art for however long people keep drawing it.

If you enjoyed this review feel free to check out my Patreon or Ko-fi for more stuff like this.

[viscerax]

Video Tapes (from when we were happy)

Jay stares down at the tape in his hand. He recognizes the messy and smeared sharpie handwriting on the label.

"Birthday :)"

He's hesitant. But he doesn't really have a choice. He tells himself he has to scour all of the tapes for more evidence and that includes the ones he is sure will be unimportant. 

"You know we can take a break if you need to. It's hard... watching these. And I don't even remember most of my time with him." Jay's brought out of his trance-like state when the man beside him places a hand over the tape in Jay's grip (which Jay only just then realized was shakey).

"No. I don't wanna prolong this any longer than I need to. I have to go through them at some point." Jay sighs, and avoids Tim's pensive stare that seems to see right through the walls Jay holds up. 

"I can go through them for you-"

"I said it's fine, Tim." Jay responds, tone a bit more sour then he originally intended. There was a bit of silence, before Jay sucked in a deep breath. "Sorry." He refused to look at Tim as he finally shoved the tape into the tape player, eyes glued to the screen. 

_

The camera is out of focus for a moment, but Jay can tell who the subject is from the blurry shape of his brightly colored side-swept fringe. 

"Alexxx! Come here, birthday boy!" A much younger sounding Jay coos from behind the camera, and Alex's head perked up, his face finally coming into focus. 

Jay assumes this must have been around Alex's nineteenth, right in the midst of his scene phase. (The Alex they see on the tape would have cried if someone called it a phase.)

As Alex's face comes into focus, Jay takes note of the messy guy-liner and snake-bites. Jay missed those piercings, even though he complained about how dumb they looked, Jay thought they were totally hot and Alex knew that. 

As Jay gets up from his spot on the couch, nursing a bottle of alcohol that he definitely was not allowed to have, Jay meets him halfway in the living-room, holding out a poorly wrapped CD case. Alex takes it, meticulously pulling at the edges and unwrapping the paper without tearing it. 

"Can't you just rip it open?" Jay complains, and Alex shoots a playful glare at him. 

"It's my gift, I can open it however I want to." Alex shoots back, before finally freeing the case from its terrible paper cage. He admires the case as if it were an ancient relic. The typically clear case is replaced with a picture of the two boys holding onto eachother and holding peace signs behind eachothers heads. Alex's tongue is poking out, and Jay notices the tongue piercing that he also missed very much. 

"It's us." Jay points out, and Alex snorts. 

"Yeah, no shit." Alex playfully retorts, and Jay let's out a dramatic whine from behind the camera. 

"Whatever, don't be an asshole. Open it up, there's a track list on the inside." Jay urges, and the excitement is practically evident in his voice. 

Alex opens the case, finding a CD with the words "A+J's epic soundtrack" and a few simple stick figure drawings, very clearly done by Jay. Alex was always the better artist. 

Alex read over the track list, his grin growing wider by the second. 

"Oh my god, Jay. You got like... all the jams on here. I could totally kiss you." Alex gently closes the case and looks up at Jay. 

"Then do it." The smirk was audible in the voice, and he moves to set down the camera, making a point to angle it towards him and Alex. The footage cuts a bit, but it catches them leaning in and crashing their lips together, hands starting to roam like the horny adult-age teens they were, before the footage began to distort and Jay quickly ejected the tape. 

_

Jay sighs, staring down at his hands. They were still shaking. Tim seemed to notice, and reached a hand forward, grabbing one of Jay's hands perfectly intertwining their fingers together. 

Jay doesn't realize he's crying until a tear falls down on his and Tim's intertwined hands. 

"What... what happened to him..." Jay whispered, voice cracking. 

"People change, Jay." Tim, replies, trying his best to soothe the other, although he's not the best at doing so. 

"Yeah but, not like that! He... I don't get it. He loved me... I thought? I just... I don't understand how he could do... all this!" Jay hiccups, and Tim uses his fee hand to turn Jay's office chair so that he's facing him. He pulls Jay into a hug, and Jay doesn't have the mental or physical strength to refuse. 

"He's still... he's still there, you know. I know it. When he tried to shoot us... I... I saw it. In his eyes. My Alex... hes still in there." Jay babbles, and Tim just takes a deep breath, shushing Jay and rubbing his lower back. 

"Yeah but... Jay. It's gonna be hard to... get him back. Trust me. I'm not saying its impossible but... fighting that thing isn't easy." Tim wants to comfort Jay, but he can't lie to him. He deserves to know the truth. 

Tim expects Jay to get angry at the statement, but he doesn't. He just curls his fist into Tim's shirt, nodding and hiding his face as another hiccup breaks loose. "I know... I just... I just miss him. I celebrated his birthday, even after he left. I never stopped." 

The statement makes Tim feel almost upset that Alex could do so much harm to such a kind-hearted man. Tim makes a silent promise to himself that he's never gonna hurt Jay like that. 

He just holds him, let's him cry until his voice breaks and he complains of a scratching throat. They sleep in the same bed that night, mostly because everytime Jay tried to close his eyes on his own, he was plagued with visions of Alex before he even fell asleep, and he crawled into Tim's bed before he could even protest. Not like he was going to anyways. Tim holds him, comforts him, and listens to the steady rhythm of his breath before they both drift off to sleep. 

[dangan-kagura]

Three Danganronpa Characters the Fandom Ruined for Me

I know I've shared stuff like this before, but right now, I'm having a really shitty week and felt like writing this. These are characters in Danganronpa that I feel like that fandom has ruined for me and have got me thinking just how toxic the Danganronpa fandom can be sometimes. Two of them are characters I do enjoy, while the other one is a character that makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

Shuichi Saihara

Shuichi is one of my favorites, but sometimes, I don’t like it when people call characters like Shuichi “emo” all because he dresses in black and has a very dark or negative personality. It’s not that I don’t like emo, it’s more like, I feel like people are using it the wrong way. I feel like when it comes to characters that have tall, dark, and mysterious personalities and dress in black and have eye-covered bangs, people just assume they’re emo, but I just think that’s really stupid.

Here’s something that I’ll share, during my research about what the emo stereotype is like, one fact I found was that emo claims to glorify suicide. Now in terms of music groups that carry the emo label, do you really think that a band like Fall Out Boy would sing songs about expressing suicidal thoughts? Let me share this, I’m a bit of a fan of the American Pie movies, and in terms of what songs are in the series’ soundtracks, the majority of them come from bands that carry the emo label. And let me ask you this, do you really think the cast of American Pie are emo? Would Jason Biggs’ character be any similar to how the Danganronpa fandom portrays Shuichi? Moreover, when I was doing research about a list of songs that are about suicide, only about a few songs I was familiar with came from bands that carry the emo label, the remaining songs I was familiar with came from bands that don’t carry the label.

To me, I don’t personally use the term emo, instead I use subgenre terms like pop-punk or post-hardcore. I just think that depending on the theme of a modern rock band, people could just slam the emo label on any music group even if they aren’t part of that subculture, and I don’t want to be doing that. In fact, back when the emo backlash came out during the late 2000s, I had assumed nu metal bands like Linkin Park were emo, boy was I wrong. And I would be damned if I met someone who was dumb enough to believe that the reason for Kurt Cobain’s suicide was because Kurt Cobain was influenced by emo. FUCKING FALSE!

Okay, sorry about that last one. I just feel like people should be more careful with how they use the word emo, and at this point, I feel like emo is dead. I just think that characters like Shuichi shouldn’t be treated like this.

Ibuki Mioda

If you’ve read my really long blog on why I don’t like Ibuki, you’ll know that it’s because I don’t like both Ibuki’s music and her popularity in the fandom. Having to see Ibuki make references to death metal or any similar subgenre, whether it’s in the games or the fandom, just feels like a red flag for me.

But here’s something that I will explain that I never got to fully explain. There are fans that do seem to headcanon Ibuki as being a fan of music groups that aren’t death metal. The downside is that some of them aren’t music groups I would approve of. While most fans headcanon Ibuki being into punk, I’m a little disgusted from seeing headcanons that have Ibuki being a fan of emo/screamo shit, that kind of music is just fucking disgusting for me. In fact, I find it unfortunate that most fans don’t headcanon Ibuki as a fan of hard rock and metal bands with female lead singers, examples are bands like Halestorm, Otep, and Kittie. Moreover, it’s worth mentioning that Ibuki has a FTE that references the song “Freak on a Leash” by the nu metal band Korn, and out of the three bands I mentioned, Otep and Kittie also play nu metal. I’m not saying fans should headcanon Ibuki as a fan of that particular subgenre, I just never met anyone in the fandom who likes these bands. I actually do enjoy certain nu metal bands every now and then, so I can tolerate Otep and Kittie’s music, although I’m personally more of a fan of Halestorm’s music and I think that band has a few songs Ibuki might like. Nu metal aside, I also find it unfortunate that fans don’t seem to headcanon Ibuki as a fan of kawaii metal, which is literally a fusion of metal and J-pop idol music.

Getting back to the fandom, I really don’t like seeing Ibuki make any sort of reference to crap genres involving death growls. It’s just not cool or funny, it’s just seriously dark, and I’ve never met anyone who feels the same as I do. Read my long blog for more info.

Kirumi Tojo

I’m gonna admit that there are times where Kirumi can be a comfort character for me. There are times where I’ll cry over her death, and her love suite event is comforting sometimes. The downside is that I don’t like what fans are doing to her, namely the 2B jokes. I’ve already posted a blog about why I don’t like that and that characters like Kirumi shouldn’t be treated like that.

Obviously, the reason this bothers me is because I’ve failed to see the big deal about Nier and don’t really find it to be an interesting game. In fact, I’m more bothered to see how massively popular it’s become, to the point where the game's soundtrack is apparently one of the top soundtracks on iTunes, literally. But I won’t get into too much detail as to why I don’t like Nier, I just think it’s ugly, overrated, and the fandom is probably toxic.

Getting back to Kirumi, when I first met her, she actually reminded me of the Touhou maid, Sakuya Izayoi. Earlier in the year at the time (like, mid-2021) I was already getting into Touhou after learning about Sakuya and the fangame Koumajou Densetsu II. Afterwards, I fell in love with Sakuya after learning more about her. At least Sakuya is a fan favorite in the Touhou fandom whereas Kirumi is only acknowledged for being a gothic maid that believes in selfless devotion and being the prime minister. And at least I’ve never seen anyone pull off that 2B meme on Sakuya and frankly don’t want to see that.

I just feel like my opinion about Kirumi is different from the majority and I’m sick of seeing how the majority sees her, and the more I see it, the more likely I’ll lose interest in Kirumi and I don’t want to let her go. Is it wrong for me to like Kirumi? I just don’t want to let her go because I felt something for her death and I don’t want to forget about her. But I honestly just don’t get what the big deal is with Nier, what is it about that game that everyone loves so much?

And just as I don’t like seeing people make Kirumi look like 2B, I also hate it when people make jokes about Ibuki looking like Twilight Sparkle, but that’s a different story.

In Conclusion

Overall, seeing how Shuichi, Ibuki, and Kirumi are portrayed in the fandom just bothers me. I don’t like it when fans call Shuichi emo, I don’t like seeing Ibuki sing in death growls and act like an idiot who thinks she has her shit together, and I don’t like seeing Kirumi wear a blindfold. Having to see all three of them like that makes me realize just how toxic the Danganronpa fandom can be sometimes, but that’s just my opinion.

[desirepathzine]

The Magic of Sara Landry

As a tween, I was so fascinated with electronic music. Nothing could bypass the television static in my brain and get me through tasks and trials like those methodical beeps and boops. My first brush with it was The Social Network soundtrack, composed by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. I didn't know music could sound like that, elicit that sort of feeling.

This grew into a love of industrial, EBM, and aggrotech as I grew into my dancing years, going out to clubs that would play the sledgehammer hits of Nitzer Ebb and the mesmerizing arppegiations of VNV Nation.

"Techno" when and where I was growing up was largely relegated to blasting "Sandstorm" over and over again and the occasional Skrillex remix. In my classically trained family, why would you be interested in someone whose job was to stand at a Macbook and press a few buttons? I didn't really think of the aforementioned

But in the last year, as I look for new horizons to make my nascent workout plans hit a little harder, I discovered so many amazing DJs and electronic wizards who curate incredible sets and bring the energy that can carry me through even the laziest of days. HORSEGRL, Brutalismus, Dana Montana, all amazing, but my favorite and most admired is the inimitable Sara Landry.

Sara first came across my radar thanks to a dear friend. They both have ADHD, and my friend loved her openness and approach to living with the challenges that ADHD can present.

Sara is sincerely open and honest about how her particular bag of neurodivergence affects her work and music, something her growing legion of fans connects with, deeply. One of my favorite pictures of her is during her incredible all-night Knockout set where she is surrounded by sweaty dancing patrons holding a sign that reads, "WE'RE HIGH ON ADHD". She is very playful with her audience, even as the music she spins is breakneck, intense, hardcore, noisy, techno.

And what beautiful noise it is. It's always a treat to both hear something new, whether just a song that was not on my radar or a Sara original from her Hekate label, and the familiar classics flipped through her own vision in her sets. Landry gained attention on TikTok for playing Noise Mafia's insane edit of MIA's Paper Planes during a Boiler Room set, as well as her Perfect (Exceeder) flip that emerged on the internet just as that track resurfaced for the smash SALTBURN soundtrack. Good timing? Yes. But would we have noticed even if that song wasn't rising back up into the charts? I think so.

Techno fans and followers are often talking up 'the energy' of going to a rave or a DJ set. Such woo-woo hippie talk can sound maybe even a little corny to those of us who have been outside of it, but after watching a Landry set, I totally believe in it. Sara even says as much in her various interviews, noting that she likens her performances to reiki, “where people are taking in my energy and releasing what does not serve them.” (DJMag, April 2024). She's here to serve as a conduit, taking us to higher, heavier, and more chaotic places.

Her aforementioned Boiler Room set has over five million youtube hits, and I would warrant about 15 of those are mine. My room has never been cleaner, my workouts have never been easier, and my Apex Legends competitive ranking has never been higher. The last twenty or so minutes of that set are spellbinding, a live looping segment that takes the already high energy so high that you assume the roof of the Boiler Room must be somewhere in the stratosphere.

Within all of the witchy aesthetics and breakneck beats, here is someone living with their neurodivergence, finding what works for them, being open and approachable about how their mind works, and thriving. Some might find it counter intuitive that such a light worker plays such chaotic music, dresses exclusively in black with dark dramatic eye looks, and makes silly TikToks in their downtime, but Sara Landry is bringing a searing white light of energy wherever she goes.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Elvis Presley - The Sun Sessions

This is the Elvis that had teens swooning and parents in fits. It's not hard to see why Sam Phillips got dollar signs in his eyes after hearing this Elvis. He's got energy, it's a little rough and rowdy while still being commercially viable (read: white). Elvis on these tracks has something that later recordings lacked: heart. Elvis sounds like he's having fun and it makes them pop more. Makes it so they are his own interpretations of songs instead of just being good but inferior attempts. I'll go to bat for Elvis' Sun Records recordings any day.

The Who - Who's Next

After the success of Tommy, Pete Townsend got really, really wrapped up in an incoherent rock opera, multimedia... thing called Lifehouse that might have involved living in a commune with concert attendees. This obviously didn't go anywhere, but Townsend did have a nervous breakdown trying to explain his idea and then they just released the songs they had written for Lifehouse as a regular album and that's what Who's Next is. Who's Next is an incredible album, but it really is about opener Baba O' Riley and closer Won't Get Fooled Again. The middle of the album is great, but honestly I think this album is overrated among rock critics. The songs are memorable and catchy, but a little hollow. Don't get me wrong it's still a 9/10 but Tommy is an 11/10 so I'm not sure why Who's Next is consistently rated above it.

Curtis Mayfield - Superfly

There are a lot of good film soundtracks out there. And there are a lot of film soundtracks that ate very listenable on their own as albums. But Curtis Mayfield blew the concept of the film score as album out of the water with Superfly. The funky grooves and crisp falsetto are standard for Mayfield but he knows where exactly to keep the vocals in the background and when to pull them forward, where to keep the groove low and when to bring in the horns or guitar. Songs like Freddie's Dead and Pusherman sound like they could be any funk single from the era, but knowing they're songs from a film soundtrack lets you hear how it works as both things.

Aretha Franklin - Lady Soul

Aretha Franklin was a champion at just styling on other artists songs. An incredible gospel rendition of Curtis Mayfield's People Get Ready, an even more biting version of James Brown's Money Won't Change You, an more authentically soulful version of The Rascal's Groovin'. But honestly two originals on this album blow everything else out of the water: the Goffen and King penned (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman and the masterpiece Chain Of Fools. Two of Franklin's best songs.

Kanye West - The College Dropout

https://youtu.be/wvgehVhF9D4

https://youtu.be/e7e5BFJa-Ug

Once upon a time the now infamous Kanye West was an up and coming kid in corny polo shirts producing for Jay-Z and dreaming of having his own rap career. The tecord label higher ups were reluctant to give him a shot until his debut single Through The Wire. Kanye rapped with his jaw wired shut after a car accident and that determination comes through. Roc-A-Feller gave him an album deal and nothing was ever the same again. Mythologizing aside, I think this album is obviously inferior to Late Registration. When I saw that album on the list I naturally assumed they would just skip The College Dropout. It's still a masterpiece though. Kanye is an incredibly yalented rapper, but since production was his first love he obviously has beats that elevate his style in a way that other artists can't touch. Before College Dropout we just didn't hear beats like the ones on The New Workout Plan, Jesus Walks, or We Don't Care.

[nommeaddique]

Hey, you.

07/22/2024, US time -- as where you are now.

Obviously, I'm at work (nothing too significant is happening at the moment) and I just wanted to take some time to tell you how much I am thinking about you these days.

I'm still focused on my day-to-day but at the back of mind I'm always curious about how you are, what you are doing, whether you've had lunch or not... well, you get it.

You know, it's been like this these past few days -- my body's doing something productive but the thought of you has always been in my subsconscious. Surprisingly, you always initiate a call at the perfect moment, right at the peak of me missing you, just when I was about to give up, call it a day and just look forward to missing you again the next day. It happened twice already -- yesterday (just before I slept when you were driving to Target) and today (while you were working). And that's your strength. Telepathy? Magic? Fate? Not sure. But whatever it is, let's leave it as is and to tell you honestly, I like it.

Also, do you remember you messaged me asking for a picture so you can pin me at the top of your inbox? Right at that moment, my playlist happened to play this song called "Only Wanna Be With You" which sounds pretty much like every 90's rom-com official soundtrack. And true enough, at that moment, I could picture myself like being in a rom-com episode finale. Imagine this: (cue music) I receive your text, me smiling after reading your text, then the scene cuts to black then credits would roll, leaving the rest for the next episode.

<Break>

And a perfect case in point: you called me again just now when I obviously miss you (which is the very point of why I am writing this piece). Well, in case I leaked this tumblr account to you and you're reading this n months from now, this was when you called me before you went inside Costco (your first Costco trip after arriving back to the US).

</Break>

These days I also happen to realize what your language of affection is. I tried recalling all those nights you showed up in front of the office to hand me some coffee or food. As I was too dense to realize that it meant something, I initially thought that you're just being too generous. But just today, I'm thinking it might have meant something else. I'm not bold or assuming enough to label it as the "L" thing as in the word that usually comes before "language", but I'm sure the gesture means something significant -- significant enough to have you spend some time and effort for someone whom you've just met for a couple of weeks.

I tried looking back at similar instances when we were together. It seemed as if you find genuine joy in sharing whatever you have with someone else and none of the faces you made screamed "burdensome" or "annoying". You were just so happy to share things with others, which, to me, admittedly, at first seemed suspicious, but whenever I remember your face and your tone during those moments, I felt that it was out of pure intention and that to you, that person in front of you meant something.

I get it now, CJ. And forgive me for the slightest bit of me thinking ill of those gestures. Some instances I dare not to mention because we're already way past that (thanks to us discussing it in the most mature manner we could), and yeah, I had some doubts back then. But now, all I could think of is how to reciprocate that in a language you could feel how much you mean to me.

And at this point all that's running in my head is how I can communicate the same feeling back to you consistently for the years to come.

[haechoxo]

OKAY SO FUNNY STORY (kinda)..

i stayed up until 5 am edt for the release of walk by nct 127 (because i knew i would love it and decided to watch the livestream that started at 2:50 in the MORNING.. gotta love living in the east of america i guess..) and i went to sleep and woke up to an update from you at like.. 11 am-ish (i think).

i read the chapter, realized i couldn’t process anything, and then took a nap and reread it when i woke up an hour later and finally comprehended it. i like how theres so many asks of people in shambles while i have to sleep on it and then read and be like “well damn that sucks for you haechan..” because when will he learn LMAO

also have you listened to walk yet? how do you feel about it? i absolutely LOVE it! honestly, there’s no skips for me (personally) on this album and it was definitely worth the wait :-)

enough of me rambling though, i hope your day is/was amazing!! definitely looking forward to how urs goes from this point! it’s so well written!! <3

omg east coast twiiinnnn :pp thats so silly it happens to me too sometimes ill wake up wanting to watch or read something but it was waaaayy too early so i just leave my phone unlcoked and go back to sleep so i dont forget to go back to it when i wake up again 😭

I DID! i completely forgot it was even dropping today, im not usually one for comeback lives and whatnot, usually just the cb itself and variety shows maybe (horribly short attention span😭) i actually really liked walk it feels a little more chill imo for a 127 title track but its sooo good?? like walk and fact check kind of have movie soundtrack vibes and i LOOOVE that about them, i waited through the whole album for the one bside sister of bring the noize skyscraper parade etc those are usually my favs off the whole album and im assuming its gas, but i also surprisingly love wall to wall (i rarely enjoy intro tracks) and rain drop, the instrumental is soooo cute and summery

I LOVE THE RAMBLES!!! i think i talked ab it like once but i would looove to eventually have regulars in my inbox and labeled anons its such a cute way to get closer and chat w mutuals and followers ughhh😖 my day has been okay, as okay as it could be in the ridiculous eastern us heat rn...🙄 i hope ur day is going well too bae!! and thank u so much, im glad ur enjoying it <3

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Room (2003)

When my friends suggested we all see a screening of The Room together, I was excited but also a little worried. The last time I went to see a movie with an audience that was “in on the joke”, it was 2018's Mandy and we weren't seeing a cult film, it’s that people in the theater got it into their heads that because we were seeing something with Nicolas Cage, it was ok to just go wild and assume the movie was bad (it isn't). I didn’t have a good time. This wasn't the same thing. Everyone knows The Room is awful. To my delight, not only was everyone “respectful”, the comments yelled at the screen actually made me see the film in a whole new way.

Johnny (Tommy Wiseau, who also writes, produces and directs) is engaged to Lisa (Juliette Danielle). When she begins an affair with Johnny’s best friend Mark (Greg Sestero), the consequences will be beyond their imagination.

Labeled as “one of the worst films ever made”, The Room has been retroactively sold as a black comedy by its director. I’ve seen a lot of movies. This isn’t even close to being the worst movie ever… but I can understand why you’d think that. If there’s something a movie can mess up, The Room does it. Across the board, the performances are unconvincing. In the non-Wiseau actors' defense, no one could spin this material into gold. The dialogue sounds like it’s been written by an alien with only a semi-complete understanding of human language and behavior. The set design is obviously amateurish, the score/soundtrack unintentionally hilarious, sex scenes gratuitous and the story is so clumsy that even if the film hadn’t been plagued with technical difficulties there’s no way it could’ve ever been destined for anything but ridicule. It sounds like I’m making an argument for why this IS one of the worst movies ever made but what I'm actually listing are the reasons why the film is entertaining. Not in the ways it intends to be, but entertaining nonetheless.

Whether you’re counting the times someone leaves the apartment’s front door open for no reason or keeping an eye out for the infamous framed pictures of spoons in Johnny’s living room, there is so much to see in The Room. It easily lends itself to inside jokes or the kind of running gags that will spread through late-night screenings with a crowd. If you’re watching the movie by yourself you might wonder what you’re doing with your life so the best way to see The Room is with a group. It doesn’t matter if they’ve all seen it before or if they have no idea what bombshell you’re about to drop onto their heads; the collective bewilderment is sure to turn into delight.

This is a memorable film. The brain-dead score has lyrics so predictable you can probably start singing along on your first viewing and no matter how bad your imitation of Tommy Wiseau might be, everyone will recognize what you’re referring to when you yell out the words “You’re tearing me apart Lisa!”. In many ways, The Room is the ideal bad movie. The few scenes that go on for too long are so aimless they become hilarious. Every line of dialogue is puzzling or sure to make you giggle. Tommy Wiseau is more creature than man and seeing him wriggling beneath bed sheets while Juliette Danielle pretends to be in a state of euphoria would be stomach-churning… if it wasn’t so obvious that the sex was simulated. This movie does not know how to do the sex in any of its many sex scenes.

The Room is the gift that just keeps on giving and it actually gets funnier with every viewing because there’s no way you can catch every mistake or meme-worthy decision in one go. If you’ve never seen a movie that’s so bad it’s good before, this is a great way to introduce yourself to the “genre”. (Theatrical version on the big screen, October 10, 2022) 

[duncanstewartsblog]

Ugetsu

The film this week was Ugetsu by Kenji Mizoguchi. Up until this point in the class I’ve never actually heard of this film but when hearing about it being a ghost story I was intrigued. There have been many other ghost story films I’ve seen that aren’t trying to necessarily be horror but rather a story that just happens to have ghosts. Before getting into the film that can either be a good thing or a bad thing as having ghosts within the story can either make the film feel like its message is lost behind all of the theatrics of it all but in my mind I think this film held up pretty well against that critique of films similar to this one.

Starting off, the main thing that caught my eye, or in this case I guess my ear, is that of the soundtrack for this film. Before this film in the class, soundtracks were used in a multitude of ways however, they really started to blend all together for me where I couldn’t label one film’s soundtrack over the other. I think it’s important for the film to make their soundtrack unique while also making you feel the necessary emotions it wants you to feel. So in this particular case, the soundtrack was perfect. In certain scene I would feel like the creepy sounds around me alluded to the overwhelming feelings people were going through throughout this film, and to add on even though these ghosts aren’t necessarily scary ghosts they are still ghosts and that is scary so to convey that the music has to step in and including the makeup and special effects department. 

I think the film’s makeup on the ghosts convey this perfect mix of making the men feel dread throughout the film but also remember their beauty as they haunt them around the place. It allows for the audience to distinguish her from the rest while also once again to not be distracting in the slightest which I like. There are too many films where I believe the ghost design can become so intricate that the film's main message once again gets lost rather than just having a ghost-like lady within the film. Overall, the special effects team did a good job highlighting this difference while also I’m assuming on a smaller budget which they had to work with.

Overall, this film wasn’t entirely for me. I liked it but it by no means was my favorite of the class. I feel like I could see it being remade as an A24 film just with how it's unique and artistic that the average audience may not particularly be interested in and that’s definitely okay. I think my overall grade for this film would be a B.

[confessionsofananxiousbisexual]

110 in the Shade (1992 OBC) Explained Only Through the Soundtrack

For context of what this is see this post. (also will have masterlist of musicals listened to)

Broadway musical from 1963. Revival in 2012 with Audra McDonald

I had not heard of it before. 

Music by Harvey Schmidt

Lyrics by Tom Jones

Book by N. Richard Nash

Stars: 

Inga Swensen - plays Lizzie

Robert Horton - plays Mr. Starbuck

Stephen Douglass - I’m assuming plays the other love interest, but no idea.

Setting: Definitely somewhere in the South in the United States. Based on the Southern accents. also the first song is “It’s Gonna be Another Hot Day”

Genre: Romance, Slice of Life

Character Names: Lizzie (First named in Lizzie’s Comin’ Home. Female Lead), Jim (brought up in Poker Polka), There’s a dude named File?? (First named in Hungry Men. Lizzie seems interested in him coming by so prob one of the male leads), Mr. Starbuck (First named in Rain Song. One of the Male Leads)

Plot: It’s a very hot day in a very small town. Douglass’s character (we’ll go with File) is complaining about the heat. All the guys in town sing about Lizzie as she comes back into town? Lizzie is kind of bummed out because she’s worried she’ll never find a man. This other guy named Mr. Starbuck also just got into town and he convinces some of the townsfolk that he can make it rain on Sunday if they pay him $100. Lizzie thinks he’s full of shit. Starbuck uses toddler logic and says “no you’re full of shit” to her which makes her pretty mad. Lizzie then runs in File who sings about how he thinks relationships all end too quickly, though she then sings about how actually they can last a while, and File starts to wonder if maybe she’s right. File seems into her. But after File leaves, she sings ANOTHER song about how she’s so lonely (I think she thinks she doesn’t have a chance with File). Mr. Starbuck also seems to like Lizzie and calls her his Melisande, saying he’d find the golden fleece for her if she asked. (Maybe Starbuck had been showing Lizzy how he cons people and she had fun doing it?) Lizzie is also a bit into him too, but ultimately decides to go with File as her normal self than go off with Starbuck as someone else. It’s Sunday now and it actually starts raining. Mr. Starbuck leaves the town, all the people in awe.

Other notes

At the end Mr. Starbuck says “For the first time in my life, rain” so it’s most likely a coincidence. Potentially hinting at the fact that Mr. Starbuck tends to bullshit but when it came to Lizzie, she made him feel something true?

Toddler logic: “I’m sad about you. You don’t believe in anything, not even yourself” Mr. Starbuck. He says this because Lizzie doesn’t believe he can make it rain, between that and being named Starbuck. I did not like this dude at all.

It was made in the 60s so all the women just want to provide for their poor men who have been working hard all week and finally have a day off. Lizzie’s whole thing is about how she wishes she had a man to take care of.

I heard Inga’s voice say “File” and I just thought damn, any other singer and I would have treated it as a throwaway name but the female lead just said it so probably one of the guys from a previous song.

I didn’t fully comprehend that it had been a love triangle until like the last song tbh. Douglass didn’t have a super distinct voice and Spotify didn’t label him as a singer on half of his songs (For example “A Man and a Woman” is just listed as a Lizzie song, even though it’s a duet). I had realized there must be two different guys, but I think I started to wonder if it was Starbuck and a Bunch of Other Guys.

Poker Polka has a fun name to say but wow those lyrics are a pretty good representation of depression. It’s a dude (ohh, must be File, he seems like he isn’t having a good time) singing about how he doesn’t do a series of things he enjoyed doing anymore. Poker, dancing, picnics. all things you’d do with groups of people.

Would I listen to it again? Nope. This is not my vibe of musical in the slightest. Listening to the Audra McDonald version is tempting, but I didn’t like the songs in general.

Next Show 13 (2008) - link will be added after I listen to it

[pasta-pardner]

lol.....

[welcome-to-hawkins]

The Terrible Eddie Munson

Part one Part two Alternative Ending

Summary: Eddie wins the campaign, and gets to keep you as his prize.

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: 18+, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), fingering, sex, p in v, vaginal intercourse, missionary, cowgirl, multiple orgasms, cum, multiple orgasms, slight nipple play, I think that’s it 🤣

If you didn’t know any better you’d say the rest of Hellfire knew about the little promise between Eddie and you.

The room was buzzing with excitement, literally, since Eddie had decided that the campaign needed to end with the perfect soundtrack; Black Sabbath.

He had it cranked up so loud that the bass was shaking the walls, the boys huddling in small groups discussing their strategies for todays session.

Well, that’s what they were supposed to be doing. They kept sneaking glances at you and Eddie, like they had been all week, clearly suspicious about the amount of time you two had spent together recently. It made sense, I mean you two weren’t exactly a secret, Jeff had walked in on the two of you in the back of Eddies van and made quick work in telling all of his friends, but given that you and Eddie hadn’t put a label on it yet, what were you supposed to tell the kids?

Like, “Hey Dusty! Just so you know i’m boning Eddie, Dungeon Master and positive male role model in your life, hope you don’t mind!”… not likely.

You didn’t realise you’d been lost in thought until Dustin was clicking his fingers in front of your face.

“Earth to Y/N?”

“Sorry Dus, are we starting?” You looked around to find it suddenly quiet.

Dustin only nodded, filtering into his place at the table solemnly. They were all waiting for you as you took your seat in the middle of the table. You looked to Eddie where he was squatting on his throne, forearms resting across the tops of his thighs as he folded himself into the dramatic pose. He stood suddenly, thick boots scraping across the wood of his seat.

And just like that the campaign begun, and with a wide sweep of Eddies arms the sweet cheesy boy you knew disappeared, replaced with the Dungeon Master.

“Fireball him!”

“Shit, roll again!”

“I need a 14!”

The session was a blur, and before you knew it the party was down to the deciding move. If Dustin could roll a ten or higher they’d defeat the monster and be able to rescue the Princess. If not Eddie… ahem, the monster, would keep you, her. You weren’t sure which thought you enjoyed more.

Eddies eyes locked with yours. Dustin rolled.

Three.

It took the boys fifteen minutes to stop screaming at each other and calm down, all while Eddie sat there with a smug look on his face not bothering to help settle the situation.

That was until Dustin started suggesting that the die were rigged and Eddie looked like he might kill him.

“Are you suggesting that I cheated?” He spat, “that I would EVER break the sacred rules of Hellfire?” Eddie stood, hands braced on the table. Even Erica had the good sense to look scared.

“Okay, that’s enough. Time to go home boys” you said finally, stepping in before Eddie actually killed one of them.

“And I assume you’ll be staying here, with Eddie, again?” Dustin sassed.

“Yes. Now less talking more walking, go home” Eddie asserted.

You did wonder what exactly Eddie had over Gareth to turn him into the clubs personal taxi, but now wasn’t the time to question it.

When the hellfire room finally cleared, with the exception of you and Eddie, the calm was a welcome reprieve from the chaos of the night.

Eddie plopped back into his seat, “So…” he started.

“So”.

“I won” his cheeky grin was back, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been dripping wet all day just thinking about what might happen tonight.

“You did, I do believe that means the terrible monster gets to claim his prize.” Your eyes glimmered as you stared at him, the way the dim coloured lights glowed like an aura behind him.

He hummed, “so eager”, a breath and then “but i’m not taking you for the first time here, as much as I might want to” he moved toward you, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger, “come home with me, Princess”.

And you did.

The atmosphere on the journey home had been tense, both of you too wound up to make small talk. His hand had gripped your thigh like a life raft, only really serving to dampen your panties.

Eddie led you into his trailer and through to his bedroom, fingers interlinked. He turned to you and threaded his fingers into the back of your hair, tilting your face up to look at him.

“Look, I know what I said about tonight but if somethings changed, if you don’t wanna do this anymore or if you wanna wait, that’s fine, okay? I want you to be comfortable”.

The way he was looking at you, like you hung the moon, made your heart clench. You smiled.

“I believe that if you won I was promised a, how did you put it again? Terrible monster?” Your words were clear, face unwavering, as you told him what he was so desperately hoping to hear; that you still wanted this.

“That’s right, Princess. Thing is, you’ve already met the monster. The only real question is whether you’re actually gonna let me keep you”. His teasing words were laced with doubt.

“Good luck getting rid of me now, Munson” you snuck your arms around his middle, under his leather jacket, “now are you gonna do something, or do I need to go find myself a knight?”

He returned your smile, a moment of tenderness before-

“He rolled a three”

“Yes. So?”

“Three.”

“I’m not following”

“Three orgasms.”

Oh. Oh.

In contrast to the heat his statement has created between your legs, his kiss is soft and slow. His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you grant him access. Your kisses are usually passionate, eager, teeth bumping together and tongues clashing. Always hurried moments together desperate for release. You thought tonight would be the same, tearing each others clothes off desperate for release, especially since the only action Eddie had had until this point was his own hand. Instead he was taking his time, enjoying you.

After all, he won. Why rush the claiming of his prize?

He moved the two of you backwards until you thighs hit the edge of his bed. You shuffled backwards as he climbed on top of you, slotting his body over yours like puzzle pieces.

Your hands grabbed onto his broad shoulders as he peppered kisses down your neck. He sat up on his haunches and tugged his jacket off, you followed his lead starting to discard excess clothing, both of you kicking your shoes into random corners of his room.

You caught his eye as you were both stripping your own clothes off. He was shucking his jeans down his legs and you were tangled up in your shirt, the tension breaking with laughter, both of you realising how ridiculous you looked.

You finally pulled down your jeans, leaving you both only in your underwear, and turned back to him.

He laid you back against the pillows and covered your body with his own. Dark hair fell around your face like a curtain. You ran your hands across his naked chest, tracing the outlines of his tattoos. Naked with the exception of his boxers and cold rings you could truly see him in all his glory; slim but soft, pale skin and toned arms from the constant guitar playing.

Gentle kisses trailed down your neck, stopping briefly at your chest as he pulled your bra off and pressed a wet kiss to each nipple, down your stomach before stopping at the band of your panties.

He sat back, spreading your thighs and keeping them apart with his own. Now resting back on his calves Eddie smoothed his palms up the back of your legs, folding them up over his elbows, and buried his face in your pussy with a wink.

Eddie kissed your sensitive bud through your panties, dropping a hand from your thigh to trace the damp patch on your panties. He tugged them down and threw them onto the pile with his clothes, you debated telling him off before he licked a broad stripe up your centre and you lost all ability to speak.

Eddies tongue buried in your pussy paired with his hands digging into the flesh of your thighs was addictive. Your moans were no doubt echoing around his trailer but you didn’t care, not as long as he kept doing that.

You almost cried when he moved, wrapping his lips around your bud and sucking. He was harsh, unforgiving, and you felt your legs start to shake as they tried to close around his head.

“Ed, fuck, m’gonna-”

And you did. Pussy clenching around nothing, head thrown back, crying his name.

“That’s one”, he kissed you, “so good for me baby, so perfect”Eddie climbed back over you, reaching down off the bed to fish a condom out of his jeans pocket.

“Eddie, please” you looked at him, chin glistening with your juice, hair slicked to his face, “fuck me”.

He grinned, tugging his boxers off. You’d felt him through his pants before, and had some idea of his size, but seeing it bare before you…

Eddie was huge. Seven inches and thick. You reached down and gave him an experimental stroke, doing it again with slightly more pressure when his head dropped back, eyes screwed shut with pleasure.

“Fuck baby… if you do that i’m gonna cum and after all this you best believe i’m gonna cum whilst i’m inside you” he groaned.

He rolled the condom on and lined himself up with your entrance. He kissed you as he slid all the way inside, sloppy and all he could muster with the feeling of your walls clamping down around him.

You clung to him, your arms looped round his neck and legs locked behind his back. Eddie dropped his head into the crook of your neck and gave an experimental thrust, both of you moaning at the feeling.

“Fuck baby. So hot and wet. Feels like heaven”

The pace he sets is slow, pulling out almost entirely before sliding back in. Your skin sticks to his, damp with a thin sheen of sweat.

“Eds please… more” you whine, and for once he listens to you.

He balances his weight on his arms either side of your head and starts to go harder. Not faster, harder, hitting a new spot inside you that makes your back arch like a cat in the sun.

You can see him better in this new position, his face directly above yours and the sight is almost better than the feeling itself; Eddies face is contorted in pleasure, his eyes shut and eyebrows drawn tightly together, lips dropped open in a silent gasp.

“God, baby. Can feel you tightening around me, you close? Huh, gonna cum all over my cock?” He teased

“Feels so good, wanna cum for you” orgasm creeping up on you as Eddie sped up, pelvis grinding against your clit with each powerful thrust.

As you clamped down around him and clawed your nails down his back you felt his thrusts start to loose rhythm, a sign he was close.

Your own orgasm triggered Eddies and you watched from beneath him as he came undone. Eddie slammed into you once more, body shuddering as he came, the noise burned into your brain. His forehead dropped against your own, panting as he opened his eyes and said “two”.

Eddie flipped the two of you over, you now sat upright on his lap.

He was still hard, hair fanned out on the pillow below him angelically. You took him in, covered in sweat beneath you, and began to move.

His hands flew up to rest on your hips, teeth dug into his lip, as you set a torturously slow pace.

Your head was flung back as you rode him, tits bouncing hypnotically. He sat up to capture a hard peak in his mouth, sucking and biting.

You felt your slick coating his thighs as you rode him. He lay back and braced his heels against the mattress. Your eyes widened as you realised what he was about to do.

He tugged your hips down harshly at the same time as he thrust upwards, head of his cock hitting your g-spot. He set a punishing pace, tugging you up and down on his cock like a doll.

Your eyesight went fuzzy as you felt your third orgasm approaching. Eddie felt the now familiar tightening around his member and moved his thumb to rub tight circles on your bud.

You exploded, gushing around him as you squirted.

Your body went limp as Eddie flipped you again, fucking your through your orgasm and chasing his own.

As Eddie came for the second time you squirmed, sensitive and exhausted.

He flopped onto the mattress next to you, flat on your backs, and said “that’s three”.

You just about registered him standing to discard the condom and fetch a damp cloth to clean between your legs.

He tugged his boxers back on and pulled his Hellfire shirt over your head.

When he was finally satisfied that you were comfortable he dropped back into bed and tugged you against his chest.

“You did so good for me, Princess”.

You snuggled deeper into his side, throwing a leg across his and looking up at him.

“Hey Princess…” usually confident, Eddies voice was suddenly filled with doubt.

“Yeah?”

“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?”

You chuckled, heart squeezing at the sweetness he was showing compared to the so called ‘monster’ he fancied himself as.

“I told you, Eds. I’m yours.” You smiled at the idea, and leaned up to kiss him, short and innocently, a press of your lips against his.

“So… is that a yes?”

“Yes, you dork”.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading these!!! Alt ending in my Masterlist and linked at the top of post as soon as it’s out.

Let me know if you liked it or wanna see more!

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Parts one, two and the alt ending are linked at the top!