#but i am very ashamed
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Hate doing promo and shit and I’ll only do this for the first review and then the first essay. I decided to start a substack to yap about stuff. It’s not paid at all bc stripe hates to see a bad bitch winning, but if you guys wanna hear more non fandom stuff from me then please consider checking this out ❤️.
#substack#shameless self promo#but i am very ashamed#writeblr#analysis#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#review#bridgerton review#my substack
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bro fuck it im workposting. i did illustrations, i storyboarded, i directed. I did many cool things in 2024 and millions of people all over the world saw em. that has to count for something
#brawl stars#marcia#i dont workpost because i am deeply aware nobody here is here for brawl stars but on god i#i work and i create and its real#and there is a part of me thats ashamed because i know that brawls is not. like its not league of legends you know?#league of legends is something you post about#about the skin you helped create or sculpted#or the splash art you painted#its has that... value that is obvious even in the eyes of a person who has never played league#its a very mature visual language that historically calls for respect#meanwhile presenting brawl stars art feels like showing my anime girl oc to an art teacher#even mentioning an illust i created for a skin announcement for brawl stars feels so#so dollar store#so laughable#like noone would take me seriously#it feels like when you say you're an artist and then a person asks to see your art#and you show them and they get that soft soft look in their eyes that informs you that they had an image of who an “artist” is in their hea#and that you did not live up to it but all they'll say is 'oh thats nice'#bro help me im doing art elitism to myself#how can i simultaneously believe that art can be anything and yet only neoclassical realism has real value#i want to be creatively free yet all i do is fear the unimpressed looks of strangers
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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Moodboard - Copia Thighs .𖥔 ࣪ ˖ (Shameless !)
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Day 25: Pinned
Posting a day late because I had an exam yesterday. Inspiration (aka the Narilamb demons) struck and I immediately locked in on making these
Also I changed Lamb’s outfit a little
#narilamb#cotl narilamb#narinder x lamb#cotltober#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb fanart#my art#narinder’s robes gave me so much trouble while drawing this I truly considered leaving him naked#however I cannot post more shirtless narinder I am too ashamed#also lamb woulf NOT be making eye contact if narinder didn’t have clothes on#resisting the urge to make a very suggestive joke rn#sorry to tag readers I am very sleepy right now and I get extra silly when tired#sorry for being a little less active my arms have NOT been cooperating with me#narilamb will fix me#narilamb in my brain narilamb in my veins narilamb in the soul#fatal faith au
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🚨 TW limb(s) missing 🚨 (yes, it's not that graphic - no blood, raw meat or shattered bones poking through flesh, but better put a warning just be sure)
I give you guys ZERO context of what is going on here, so you can go wild with the guesses in your heads :)
#domestic family dynamic within a criminal group my beloved#geometry box >> furniture#screw furniture >:((#darkwing duck#dwd#fearsome four#fearsome five#negaduck#(don't be like me kids - leart to draw furniture 😪)#(and backgrounds.)#(those are tricky too.)#megavolt#quackerjack#you can tell I don't draw quackerjack that often I mess up the very basics of his design like the sleeves pattern#and I AM ashamed of that#bushroot#liquidator#dwd spike#doodle#silly men doing silly stuff in not so silly situation#my fanart stuff#my post 🤙#if you somehow managed to read all the way to this point I'm truly impressed here's the star emoji for you pookie ⭐🤏
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asahi kept ruining his polycule's attempted photoshoots, so as an apology, he booked one at sears (:
Carrot (Viera) belongs to @reverend-spines + Arodaeus (Miqo'te) belongs to @ectojyunk ❤
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#gposers#asahi sas brutus#zenos yae galvus#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#yes i'm putting this in the tags#i don't care i am not ashamed#very proud of these in fact#my gposes
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Purifying my sketchbook before putting ‘em away with the others.
#off the game#off game#off mortis ghost#off batter#off the batter#off dedan#off enoch#off zacharie#off judge#also I am very ashamed at how I drew judge the first time#I don’t draw animals that much as you can tell 😭
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i love these two so i decided to doodle them hsjfhskfj
tiny bit of style experimentation
#pastel doodles!#sun and moon show#tsams#the sun and moon show#tsams forkface#forkface#ruin monty#tsams ruin monty#forkface x ruin monty#as an added note i'd like to think their relationship is relatively simple#they just like each other-like being with each other-enjoying one another's company#ruin monty talks and forky listens#it was basically a 'i like you' 'so we dating now?' 'cool'#they love each other on a very simple and sweet level#am i talking about a relationship that has never fully been onscreen? yes and im not ashamed of it#i love them hjfhsf#still sad that ruin monty died before we could see them together :(
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I love you pretty girls on tumblr who seem like bots at first glance, you are beautiful.
#i was in a voice chat with kenn the other day and i just remembered this happened#i was so ashamed of myself for almost blocking one of yous bc i thought you were a bot#YOU ARE VERY PRETTY THOUGH#i am not tagging any names thats inappropriate#just know that i was like 'NOUGHHH'
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happy 1st yellow! ⭐️🍀⭐️🍀
i meant to finish this by the anniversary, but i had finals—woe is me.
(/half lie finals never fully stopped me before; i just kept pausing halfway to cry and wallow over clover. then, like a genius, forgot all about it (ᵕ—ᴗ—))
#undertale yellow#ut yellow#uty#clover undertale yellow#clover ut yellow#uty clover#ut yellow clover#luckypatch SNEAK#too ashamed to tag it w utyversary#i am Way too late#but yes#this ending is so very dear to me
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🌿 DAY 13
I don't know what to tell you, I've got nothing.
#im so sorry#moomintroll waking up in cold sweat : what in the world is a Pikmin.#moomintroll#moomin#moomins#moominvalley#the moomins#snufkin#this counts#the 100 pikmin drawing is taking longer than I thought#“hey mun. didnyou draw pikmin snufkin more detailed than moomintroll-” yes#yes i did.#i am very ashamed of it. i am sorry.#i will givebyiu a better moomintroll cameo art soon. one day. inswear.#sponsored by moomintroll's nightmare
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kind of irritates me a little bit when people act like it's weird or wrong or ooc for sy to have internalized homophobia as if that isn't probably the most realistic thing about the plot to begin with. he's a chinese man who grew up in the late 90s - early 00s and spent all his time online i would be frankly more surprised if he had ZERO hangups about being gay. this is explicitly presented as a character flaw so i'm not sure why people act like mxtx is homophobic for writing a guy with internalized homophobia. also he like gets over it in volume 4 anyways you gotta give him some time dude he died like 3 times and he keeps getting force-fed blood he's got a lot on his plate
#i don't know if you know this but in real life gay people are way crueler to each other than this all the time#go on grindr for 5 minutes and you'll see a million NO FATS NO FEMS NO ASIANS profiles#if anything sy is fairly progressive all things considered#you must remember this is a time in the internet where you called anyone you didn't like some form of faggot to imply how lame they were#you got called a fag for any damn reason. i feel like people do not respect how far progressivism has come#in terms of gay rights over the past decade alone. yeah he's gonna have to take some time to get over it#because in MOST PARTS of the world (even 'progressive' areas) being gay was still viewed as something to be ashamed of#or at the very least to hide and never talk about#on one hand i am of course GLAD that people have never been assaulted or tormented by their peers for being faggy#but also like. don't come online and say it's homophobic for a gay chinese man in 2014 to have some hangups lmfa#t#svsss#f
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The difference between Draken and Hanma is that Draken would turn your plushies around when he fucks you, while Hanma has you clutching the teddy bear he got you on your first date
#what does this mean? welllllllll#draken hates prying eyes. he's very much into fucking you in private where no one can walk in on you two#in a way turning the plushies around is an extension of this + he lowkey doesn't wanna look in the faces of the plushies becauss they're#a symbolism of innocence to him. to him it's like having a child walk in if that makes sense#Hanma on the other hand is an exhibitionist. he's not ashamed to fuck you publicly and doesn't mind people seeing you two either#it's risky + seeing you two fuck is like the most obvious form of marking his claim over you#yes typing it all out in the tags bc I am shy uwu#hanma shuji#draken#ken ryuguji
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After many hours of work… it’s finally here
Shane isn’t the most verbally affectionate person, but when he is it’s one of Callum’s favourite things- even if Cal can’t take compliments very well ;)
I might do this in full colour at some point but I was really fucking with just the simple shading 😌
(simpler version under cut before extra detail cause I like the colours better):
#oranges art#I took my sweet time with this one folks#like three or four days with lots of breaks#but#genuinely one of my favourite things I’ve done so far#it just feels so them#and what their intimacy looks like a year or two into ‘officially’ dating#I love these two freaks so much#also I am very aware Shane is in nothing more than boxers#I’m not saying that was intentional#however#it was absolutely intentional#and I’m not ashamed#think of it like post showers after a long day#both getting comfy for bed#nothing more…#>:)#n e wayyyyyy#gonna stare at my own drawing for the next five to ten business days#sdv shane#stardew shane#stardew valley shane#sdv farmer#stardew farmer#stardew valley farmer#sdv oc#stardew oc#stardew valley oc#farmer callum
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I AM ignoring everything that is happening in real life f1 and concentrating on this:
https://x.com/technorodrigo/status/1865337939590279224?s=46&t=3kuJpIflntq1xyG7Xbw8Sg
me at 6:20 am trying not to kill myself from the results of fp3… it was the only thing i was concentrating on as well
#the pussy shame pose is so common with sharl#HE IS ASHAMED OF HIS CHUSSY! VERY SAD NEWS!#all the bracelets too and him playing with his hands#he is so girly#and nobody ever dare try and he’s a man with cock and balls me about this#i am head femininzer and omegaifyer
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