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splendsay · 12 days ago

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Gale Dekarios (Baldur's Gate) x OFC

oh hi lol it's me I started another one I KNOW I'M SORRY LISTEN I CAN'T HELP IT OKAY

this one was supposed to be a one shot but I just...love them sm. I couldn't do it. idk how long it'll be, how complicated, we'll just ride this train till we get to where we wanna be, how's that?

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Evergreen // Chapter 1: Blue Ink

Rating: 18+ Chapters: 1/? WC: 1,787 Pairing(s): Gale Dekarios (Baldur's Gate) x Original Female Character

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword had never held a sword. Of that, and many other things, Alecto Bombarda was certain.

She was well familiar with both. And, in her experience, she'd learned each had its own list of merits. Its own risks. Its own wielding potential.

"You've really never had anyone read your work before?" the man across from her asked again. The wizard.

She shook her head no, her long hair sliding off her shoulder like a silken river of snow. Everything about her was frosty. Frigid. Skin the color -- and temperature -- of ice. Eyes like a frozen lake. Even the horns curling up out from her head -- white as bone.

Most people that managed to get close enough to know her would tell you that her personality was perfectly aligned with such an appearance.

She was cold. Unnaturally patient. Still.

But she knew no other way to be.

If she ever felt a surge of something strong -- Unnamable. Uncontrolled -- she'd wield one of the weapons at her disposal.

An errant poem, scribbled hastily in the margins of an abused little leather-bound journal -- an ancient, hideous relic of younger days.

Or -- calculated violence.

Sharp. Quick. Lethal. In either alternative.

"No one's ever asked," she replied simply.

The man's face crumpled in disbelief. "Well, that's...that's just appalling!"

Alecto didn't think so. People were reliably uninterested in anything that didn't concern themselves. Few bothered to speak to her at all, let alone ask to read her innermost thoughts spewed onto parchment. And she wasn't one to volunteer exposure.

"I'd be happy to have a look at them, if you'd like," the man said suddenly, over the rim of his still full stein -- as though he was only pretending to drink from it.

Alecto paused.

"You want to read my poems."

"Why not?" the man smiled -- bright and broad. He was handsome. Human. So very earnest. His chestnut eyes glimmered in the low light of the tavern. He was sincere. Alecto could practically taste his ardor. It was sweet. Like honey. "I've a nose for these sort of things, you know. Scholarly as I am."

Alecto allowed her gaze to pointedly rake down to his toes and back up again. It was true, he exuded a somewhat scholastic nature. But there was an underlying sense of adventure there too. He smelled, not just of parchment, but of ocean air. Wild and open and beholden to possibility.

"So you've said."

He reached out a hand, then, palm facing the ceiling. An invitation. A friendly offering. One stranger to another.

"You haven't much to lose, if that's what troubles you. We hardly know one another, after all."

Alecto narrowed her eyes -- a look that usually earned her several hours of solitude. But this stranger merely cocked his head, watching her. Studying her.

His theatrical arrogance belied the true intelligence beneath. This man was sharp. Seasoned.

And, for some reason, interested in her.

He'd been the one to sit down across from her, uninvited. He'd been the one to badger her with questions, unprovoked. He'd been the one to buy her a drink only to refrain from drinking his own.

Alecto wasn't inclined to let down her walls. She'd built them with her own bare hands. Brick after brick of solid ice. She'd bled for those walls. Killed for them.

"What's in it for you?"

For the first time, the man appeared -- confused. Again, genuine. Alecto, a rabidly discerning creature, could detect no deceit from him. Not an inkling.

He retracted his hand, brow furrowed. A small crinkle appeared on the bridge of his nose. His smile faded, the corners of his lips turning downward.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean," Alecto said coolly. "What about reading a stranger's poetry is worthwhile to you?"

The man thought about this for a moment, stroking his bearded chin. "I suppose," he said finally. "All of it."

There was a beat of silence -- filled with Alecto's bewilderment.

"All of it?" she asked, demanding clarification.

He nodded, further adding to the perplexity of his position. "I've always found it thrilling to partake in the art of others," he said. "Whether through reading or simple observation. Art is inherently designed to be enjoyed, is it not?"

Alecto found herself frowning thoughtfully. "I...I had not thought of it that way."

The man's eyes widened. "You hadn't? How...how, then had you thought of it?"

She focused on the tawny hue of his irises as she replied, working through her thoughts as she spoke. "It's an exercise," she mused. "An effort to make sense of what's happening -- to ground myself in the moment. But also to -- appreciate the moment for what it is."

"Ah," the man affirmed, setting his glass on the wooden table between them. "By rights, I suspect you must be an astonishing poet, just from that evaluation alone."

"Your flattery is egregious."

"Is it really flattery if it's rooted in truth?"

"I suppose that's a question for the scholars."

"Aha! Was that a joke, madam?"

"Another question for the scholars," Alecto hummed, choosing that moment to take a long, dignified pull from her stein.

The man chuckled, clearly quite pleased with himself. And, despite a decades long track record, she couldn't bring herself to snuff out his light. If anything, it felt nice. The unexpected warmth he'd brought to her evening.

She wasn't usually one to welcome such a thing. Warmth.

It didn't mean she didn't want to. She did. She just -- never quite knew how.

But now -- she had a sense that wielding anything but her open mind with this man would not only be fruitless, but would bring upon her something like unhappiness.

He intrigued her.

She turned her head to observe the space around them. It was crowded -- had been for some time. Had only gotten more-so as the sun had dipped beyond the horizon line. Easily a few hundred people, sitting and standing and dancing, all in various stages of inebriation.

She understood now, why he'd sat across from her. Her table was at the far end -- away from most of the other patrons, by design on her part. But it had also probably been the only vacant seat in the place.

She turned back to find him watching her, the corners of his eyes crinkled slightly.

"Very well," she said softly, dropping his gaze. "You may read one."

She pulled the little leather-bound book out of one of her many pockets -- always in the same one. Just over her left breast. Just above her heart.

She thumbed through it, but it didn't take long to find what she wanted. She'd opened the book to that particular poem so often that the spine was cracked right to that page.

It was her favorite.

It had been a memorable experience. Writing this one. Painful. But -- transformative. Like taking needle to skin to sew up an old wound.

She handed the book to the man, thumb marking the page.

"The one in blue ink," she murmured. He nodded, silently taking it from her.

Her heart thudded in her chest. A sensation she was used to associating with physical exertion. She couldn't even admonish herself, captivated as she was by him in that moment.

She recited the poem in her head as she watched him read, the words long ago embroidered onto the fabric of her being. I am evergreen: Destined to outlast the perpetual cold. Prickly spines protect my insides, Vulnerable, sticky sweet. The sun casts me in warmth I cannot feel. It's quiet up here; Surrounded by trees My branches don't quite reach. The sparrows are my only friends. Fleeting and flitting and using me For the safety of my essence. Stoic and sturdy and everlasting. Won't someone kind cut me down? Release me from these roots, Free me of the confines of this birthright. Bring me home, String me with lights, And let me die having been in the presence of love.

The man sat quietly for a moment, absorbing. Alecto's thumping heart transformed into clammy skin. Tingling fingers. They twitched involuntarily. As though searching for a spear -- dipped in ink or blood -- either would do.

"This is a beautiful metaphor," he said finally. Gently. "Sophisticated and -- vulnerable -- all at once."

Alecto's lips tightened. She knew that. That's why she always went back to it. The vulnerability.

It wasn't something she could effectively produce very often.

A tenseness crept through her shoulders, drawing them back. An already stiff posture became rigid. Her claws pierced her calfskin leathers with ease, digging into the skin of her thighs.

The sting didn't register. Not above the palpable apprehension. Like stones in her stomach.

"You know, it's fascinating," he continued. "Most poets that use such a metaphor do so to portray resilience or fortitude or even power. What you've done here is...far more interesting. Suggesting such a birthright, as you say, is, in fact, a prison, of sorts."

Alecto blinked, surprised at his analysis. At the -- compliment. Entwined with genuine understanding.

"There are a few moments that are striking to me," he said. "That you chose to use the word 'kind' to describe the theoretical woodsman, chopping the tree free of its confines. Opposite of expectation. And that your tree," he paused, swallowing audibly. "Still so viscerally yearns for connection, despite the circumstances of its life thus far. And despite the -- lethality of such a longing."

Everything in her softened. Melted. Like a pad of butter over flame. She felt hot. Loose. Unburdened. But oh, so exposed.

He scanned the page again, reading her words a second time, before sliding the journal back to her, eyes returning to her face.

"It takes remarkable courage," he murmured. "To acknowledge such a desire. Even in metaphor."

She accepted the journal slowly. Tentatively. The pale of her fingers stark against its obsidian bindings.

"Thank you," she replied, her voice all but a whisper.

"Ah," the man chided. "No, my dear. Thank you for allowing me to bear witness to your art. A privilege, truly. It will stick with me, I've no doubt."

He leaned back then, the wood of the bench creaking delicately, like a sigh.

"You know, I never asked your name," he ventured.

"I never asked yours."

He chuckled. And she found herself affixed to that honest smile.

"My name is Gale. Gale of Waterdeep."

He thrust a hand forward, closing the table's distance between them. She took it, not at all surprised by its warmth against her own cool skin.

"Alecto Bombarda."

His grin widened.

"I should've known yours would be legendary."

She cocked her head. "Yours isn't?"

He squeezed her hand. "Ah, I intend to make it so."

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years ago

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Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha.

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos.

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok?

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished.

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways.

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing?

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out.

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”.

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

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God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

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pyrefell · 4 years ago

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Helllo!!! I’m loving your headcanons so far!!!

Do you have any general personalities descriptions for your boys yet?

a of all, bsdaifjkbfjkowp thank you!!! b of all, im sorry this took so long?? i rewrote it like 3 times & it still might change bc im indecisive. also it turned into a lil bit of a headcanon post. i hope its understandable?

once again i am struck with the fact that the boys need nicknames. hmm.

UNDERTALE:

Sans: Guy who is deliberately and unabashedly Cringe. Overall, fairly laid back. However, he still prefers to maintain distance between himself and most people. It was already a natural facet of his personality but it was exacerbated by the Timeline Jank. People tend to forget he’s as smart as he is, they don’t think he’s stupid, they just mostly know that funnyman side of him. If you're a dick to Papyrus, he's gonna be a dick to you.

Papyrus: Things are so exciting and fascinating to him, even the most mundane things. Despite seeming completely oblivious to things that seem completely obvious, he's very smart and deceptively cunning. Even though he knows how people see him (a big loud child) and he doesn't get quite the reception his brother does, he knows he'll win them over one day! He tries to avoid thinking about how lonely he actually is. It’s fine. He knows Sans is dealing with something (he won’t tell him what) but he figures he doesn’t need much else on his plate.

UNDERSWAP:

Sans: In this post, I mentioned that he's kind of always naturally been the more outgoing brother and that he's taken on this much more outgoing and bubbly persona as a result of the impact the timelines have had on him. He's competitive in a more aggressive way (maybe not quite the right word to use but), by which I mean he's kind of a sore loser sometimes. Also? He's a huge flirt, he's pretty skilled in the art of flustering.

Papyrus: Also in this post, I said that he's pretty chill until the conversation turns to something he's passionate about, then he reaches True Papyrus Volume Levels (and Chaos Levels). He is fairly relaxed, yes, but part of it is compensating for how awkward he can be. He gets embarrassed really easy, even something as small as misunderstanding something that was said. However! He’s a pretty popular artist online! Though he uses a pseudonym, being recognized and talked to by a stranger in public is not something he would look forward to.

UNDERFELL:

Sans: He’s cruel and crude, that’s kind of his whole thing. He’s not really the best at keeping a hold on his temper (though there’s a few other factors at play there). Keeping up the whole tough guy persona is the number one priority thus he doesn’t deal much with his emotions or inner turmoil or any of that other crap. Like US!Sans, he’s a flirt, except his flirting is mostly crude comments and jokes. And yet, somehow it works? Guy who is a disaster. He’s oddly nostalgic, mostly about his relationship with Papyrus. He wishes he could have been a better brother, but it seems like their relationship is too far gone.

Papyrus: He also doesn’t have the best control of his temper but he has an image to keep, one of a cruel and cold Royal Guard Captain. He didn’t used to be like this, but it’s necessary for his survival. He’s still surprisingly empathetic, something that could never really be beat out of him. HUGE perfectionist nearly to the point of it being debilitating. He oscillates between hating how weak he is and desperately wanting to be able to be weak. While he acts prideful about his ‘work’ int the Royal Guard, he is genuinely prideful about things like his cooking. Often to the point of arrogance.

SWAPFELL:

Sans: He’s seen as very cold and calculating, well-spoken. But he also knows when and how to turn on the charm. That’s how he’s even made it this far in life, it’s vital to his survival. He can also be very prideful, particularly in his position as Queen Toriel’s right hand and in his ability to remain cool in high stress situations. He’s well aware of how overprotective he is with Papyrus, he’s terrified of how cruel the world is and terrified that he’s stunted him to the point of not being able to cope with it.

Papyrus: He’s deathly shy. If it were safe/a good idea to use his own brand of shortcuts to get out of situations, by god would he. He, like his non-Fell counterpart, thrives in the relative anonymity of being online. Past that barrier of shyness, he’s excitable and surprisingly jovial. He tries to find some reason to be at least content, he thinks it helps Sans worry less (even if it doesn’t really). He’s actually pretty mischievous, though only dares to pull pranks on his brother.

HORRORTALE:

Sans: Horribly cynical and jaded. He’s working on it, even if he doesn’t particularly want to sometimes. He’s not home, so to speak, most of the time. He’s easily frustrated by the gaps in his memory, then he forgets why he’s frustrated and gets even more upset. He’s naturally very wary of everyone else and again, very much prefers to keep distance between himself and most everyone he comes into contact with.

Papyrus: He definitely tries to hide everything behind a happy demeanor, he tries to fix everything for just about anyone (especially his brother) without any fuss and tries to make it seem like he’s totally fine. There’s also this sense of jadedness, he tries to curb it but sometimes it still slips out. He still tries to act like himself, like he’d been before the Famine, but it’s exhausting and he’ll eventually come to terms with the fact that he’s no longer the same.

HORRORSWAP:

Sans: His competitive nature has morphed more into him being more of an aggressive hothead (though not quite to the level of UF!Sans). He’s really self-conscious about his new stutter and bringing it up frustrates him the same way treating him like a child had before. He has terrible mood swings, he can ruin his own day over nothing and it kills him. He’s really trying to get better, but he still has a hard time being honest with people.

Papyrus: He’s gotten pretty cynical since the Famine, he puts part of the blame on himself (if only he'd just been brave for once), even though he knows there's not really a whole lot he could have done. He’s even quieter than he used to be, he’d prefer if he could just fade into the background. He hates how much he stands out in any crowd and tries to avoid going out at all costs. The only one who can get him out is Sans because at least they can ignore everyone else and concern themselves with each other.

HORRORFELL:

Sans: He’s...mean. Like. He tends to be a major jackass. He can’t help but think well, humans aren’t exactly gonna wanna know a monster, much less him. And hey! Might just help keep his newly expanded family safe! He ain’t complainin’! He’s really just bitter about how things have gone for him and his brother (and about how things will likely go in the future). For as many dark jokes he makes to Frisk and Aliza, he’d be the first one to come to their rescue, he’s just that kind of friend.

Papyrus: He’s fairly quiet these days, but don’t think he’s not going to find some way to give you some kind of attitude. He’s been putting a lot of work into taming his anger, which is no small task considering everything. He still has his moments, but he prides himself in being able to cool off and keep himself somewhat calm. He still hasn’t been able to do much about his perfectionism, in fact it’s gotten worse, but he’s trying. And he, like his brother, is extremely protective of his little family, and god help anyone who dares try anything.

A B-Bonus????

UF!Comic Papyrus: (he’s the only one with a nickname...lol) Reggie here struggles a lot with who he is as a person, is he more Sans? More Papyrus? An even 50/50? Or is he someone else entirely? He’s introspective and hyper aware of his mannerisms, particularity in the ones he deems too Sans-like or too Papyrus-like. He’s not exactly the nicest, partially as a mechanism to keep people away (it’s just...easier that way). Reggie keeps to himself most of the time. He’s not shy though, he’s more than willing to speak his mind, even if it comes out more crass than it was intended.

#undertale headcanons #undertale #underswap #underfell #swapfell #horrortale #horrorswap #horrorfell #sans #papyrus #comic papyrus #ratsoh-writes #as always im not sure im happy w this but im not letting myself fuck w it any longer lol.#i was gonna add the bros from my own au but. ive never talked about them #maybe youll see them some other time

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dragonboydominicc · 4 years ago

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Ok this maybe just me being autistic and unable to control my emotions yet again however I've seen some small discourse over Sherlock's autism being portrayed as sociopathic. And in the show itself this view is indeed proven with the infamous "I'm a high functioning sociopath" quote and this somewhat saddens me- having autism myself- as we already get dehumanised in our own day to day lives.

I cling onto the canonical fact that Sherlock has aspergers (I myself have been diagnosed with autism straight up) just for some representation in a piece of media I like- same with Will Graham, glad the creators of Hannibal handled his better.

And just to have that trait of his stripped away by the creators (or at least I've heard) never confirm or act like "hey our character has autistic traits but he isnt autistic lol" really hurts on an intimate level. And to frame that as sociopathic??? Hurts even more.

I suppose you could look at it from the angle of Sherlock saying he's a sociopath to somewhat deflect owning up to the fact he has aspergers but he doesn't seem the type of person to be like. Sure you can argue also this is him assimilating to the persona the public have put on him as a cold, calculating man but from my perspective hes the type to just go "hey I am this way. Who care what you think, this is me, take it or leave it".

So yeah. Sherlock Holmes has autism. No matter what the creators say. Pry that fact from my cold, dead hands. You won't be able to.

I'm gonna go read fanfiction to distract myself from all this.

#sherlock meta #meta #bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #tjlc #autistic sherlock #autistic sherlock is canon thank you very much

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cheri-translates · 4 years ago

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[CN] Gavin’s Galloping Date

🍒Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers!🍒

Many thanks to @stehkotori for the HD pics! <3

The morning sunlight faintly encases the awakening town. The aroma of coffee mixes with the sea breeze, ushering the start of a new day.

I stretch, looking at Gavin, who is seated in front of me.

MC: This is how a vacation should feel like.

Gavin: It’s very relaxing. The weather and scenery are nice as well.

Over the past few days, Gavin and I have settled in this town, backed by a cliff which faces the sea.

Gavin: We’ve stayed here for a week, want to change locations?

MC: Sure. Although it’s comfortable to stay here, it’s time to have a taste of our next destination.

I nod my head seriously, playfully looking at him.

MC: The most beautiful scenery will always be in our next destination!

Gavin: Already found it.

MC: What?

Gavin looks towards me, his eyes as direct and cool as the gentle wind of an early Summer.

His words enter my ears – clear, with nothing to hide, and without any embellishment.

Gavin: The best scenery is already in front of me.

MC: Gavin…

Gavin: Do you have any ideas for our next destination?

Gavin flips open the map, using an indifferent tone to shift the topic back to our usual casual chat. At the same time, he reaches out and gently places the back of his fingers onto my cheek.

Gavin: Why is your face red? Did you catch a cold because the wind was too strong last night?

MC: I… I’m fine. Let’s eat - the food wouldn’t be nice if it gets cold!

I lower my head, pushing the plate towards Gavin. My heart continues pounding from Gavin’s words earlier.

After breakfast, I sip my coffee contentedly. Lifting my head, I see a smile in Gavin’s eyes.

He is currently studying the map on the table. There are several scribbles and markings on it.

MC: This shop’s limited-supply croissant is truly perfect as it claims, as expected of something that’s handmade.

I split the final croissant into half, handing a piece to Gavin.

Gavin: Mm, I like it too.

Gavin takes the croissant from me while writing something on the map using a pencil.

Gavin: This island still has a few small towns worth visiting, and we don’t have to rush to leave.

Seeing us, the shop manager gives us a familiar wave – this kindly old man has remembered us just after a few times of patronizing his shop.

Looking at the map on our table, he seems to think of something, and searches for something behind the bar counter.

After a moment, aside from the bill, he also brings over a thin stack of papers, his eyes crinkling in friendliness.

Gavin: This is… a travel pamphlet?

The cover of the pamphlet showcases a watercolour drawing of a small peaceful town lined with two rows of lemon trees.

MC: This small town is beautiful…

Gavin: The map states that the lemon wine in that town is very well-known. I’ve checked – it isn’t far, and it’s convenient to go from here.

I lean over to have a look, and realise that apart from lemon wine, the town also has a restaurant that sells citrus-flavoured pasta.

MC: I want to try this!

Gavin: If we leave now, we’ll reach in the afternoon. Shall we go?

MC: Yes!

Gavin: I’ll go rent a car. I’ll have to trouble you to pack the luggage.

This trip has been very casual, and there is not much two people need to carry. Even after packing the luggage and waiting at the side of the road, Gavin has not returned.

MC: I wonder when Gavin would arrive. Should I buy some fruits nearby…

While I’m thinking, I suddenly hear two “honks” from a car. I respond with a lift of my head, only to see a red convertible in front of me.

Gavin: Get in.

Gavin is wearing sunglasses in the driver’s seat, a hand casually leaning on the steering wheel. He nods his head towards the passenger seat, looking valiant.

The pale golden sunrise encases him without reservation, outlining his frame.

For a moment, I am unable to avert my gaze.

It’s as though the breeze is ushering in the early Summer, caressing the green leaves, urging the Summer flowers to grow.

Gavin: What are you looking at?

Gavin lifts a finger, gently tapping the steering wheel.

MC: [blushing] You.

Unexpectedly, I blurt out my thoughts. Regaining my senses, I turn completely red.

Gavin blinks, then opens the car door. The corners of his lips are turned up slightly.

[Note] The EN translation used “wink” which is technically correct because 眨 can mean both “wink” and “blink”. But I just can’t imagine Gavin winking LOL

MC: I-I’m getting in… eh? What’s this?

On the passenger seat rests a bouquet of varying flowers. There are a few water droplets on the petals.

The colours are simple but elegant, yet bloom vibrantly and somewhat wildly. It exudes the aura of a Spring which has yet to morph into Summer.

Gavin: I passed by a florist and thought you’d like it.

Gavin picks up our luggage and stores it in the car. After that, he straps on his seatbelt again.

Gavin: Ready?

MC: Mm, let’s go!

With a slight movement, the engine of the race car starts up and propels down the road in a low growl.

The cooling air sweeps over the car, whistling in my ears. The city is left in the background, blurring into a block of colour.

The road gradually opens up, and the buildings are replaced with the vast blue sea. The sensation of flying accelerates my heartbeat, making me feel excited.

Although the car is going very fast, the windshield reduces the wind to a gentle breeze.

I sneak a peek at Gavin, who is concentrating on driving, and realise that he is quite similar to these types of machines – There is a certain inhibition deep in the bones, yet there is also meticulousness and gentleness in other areas.

Gavin: Is the car going too fast?

Noticing my gaze, Gavin asks.

MC: No, this is good.

Gavin: The journey will take around four hours. You can play some of the songs you like.

Gavin drives steadily, turning the steering wheel as we make a turn.

There are a few clouds in the clear blue sky. There should be good weather today.

While we appreciate the scenery of our destination, the small town is cloaked in the gentle glow of the afternoon sun.

The lush lemon trees and tangerine trees line the sides of the road, the green leaves sandwiching white flowers on quiet display.

MC: It’s just as pretty as the pamphlet! Picking this place was the correct decision!

Gavin: It’s still early, let’s walk around.

MC: Then… let’s start from the markings you made in the map? Our Officer Gavin’s “investigative skills” are top-notch. I’ll just follow you mindlessly.

I half-jokingly say this while alighting from the car and stretching.

Gavin: Sure. From where we are now, the shop selling lemon wine is nearby. We can buy some things first. A few streets after that, there are a few shops worth visiting, and the scenery is not bad.

MC: Mm, you have the final say today.

Similar to the small town earlier, there aren’t many tourists.

Next to the Central Plaza, Gavin and I stop at the entrance of the well-known shop selling lemon wine. On the wooden signboard is a plump pigeon taking an afternoon nap.

The shop has a small stall set up next to it, with lemon-related items atop it, such as handmade lemon soap and dried lemon biscuits.

Gavin: It’s here.

Gavin shakes the bell, and it resounds clearly.

Store owner: Salve che cosa volete?

The store owner comes out from the store and pauses for a moment after seeing us. He proceeds to greet us in broken English.

Store owner: You are welcome, good afternoon. May I ask what you two need?

MC: Hello. We want to buy lemon wine.

I gesture while smiling at the store owner. Gavin follows, gently tapping on the wine rack at the side.

The store owner nods his head, and takes a few bottles from the rack.

Gavin: Is there a difference between them?

Store owner: They are different. This one, sweet. This one, sour…

It is rare to see tourists during this season, but the store owner is incredibly patient, even introducing and explaining the uniqueness of the different types of lemon wine.

Interested in what the store owner has to share, I look at the wine in my hands, paying full attention to the store owner’s “Lemon Wine Seminar”.

Gavin doesn’t speak, but his gaze on me is passionate and tender.

The pale golden sunlight gradually lines the Mediterranean coast. Along with the century-old stone road, the scenery is a romantic one.

MC: Gavin, should we get this refreshing one, or something sweeter?

I raise the two bottles that I have difficulty deciding between, asking for “help”.

Gavin: We can get one of each. We can drink the sweeter ones over these few days. When the temperature goes up, we can open the refreshing one.

MC: That makes sense… I’ll take these two bottles then, thank you.

The shop owner tosses us a thumbs-up, pressing a few numbers on a calculator to show us the price. He takes out a few sheets of oil paper and starts wrapping the bottles.

Just after counting the cash to pay the shop owner, the sound of shattering glass breaks the silence of the small town. The blare of an alarm follows.

In an instant, Gavin steps forward in front of me.

MC: What’s going on?

I get a fright and look towards the source of the sound.

Three figures emerge from the jewelry shop opposite. They’re holding on to a few bags tightly, and entering a car that is stalled at the side of the road.

Following them, the red-faced, enraged, small-built store owner shouts after them.

MC: It’s… a robbery?!

The car drives in a callous fashion, even going up the pedestrian pathway. The street suddenly becomes extremely chaotic. The people who are frightened by this sudden display run amok. Someone even trips on the stall outside the lemon wine shop.

The stall is knocked over, and the items are splayed on the floor. Aside from the stall, even our bottles of wine are broken. I rush to help the person who tripped and ask whether he is okay.

Gavin immediately takes the paper and pen off the counter, writes a series of letters and numbers and hands it to the store owner.

Gavin: Car plate number.

Initially in a fright and frozen to the spot, the store owner regains his senses and hurries to call the police.

While waiting for the call to get through, the store owner looks worriedly in the direction of the robbers.

Store owner: This place is too remote, they will get away…

The perpetrators of this chaos grow smaller in the distance. Along with the words from the store owner, I frown.

Gavin looks towards the escaping car, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Gavin: MC, get in!

As he says this, he walks briskly to where our rented car is parked. I follow him and jump into the car, strapping on my seatbelt.

Gavin: There are too many people here, so it isn’t convenient to use Evol. We’ll chase them directly. Ready?

MC: Mm!

Gavin starts the engine, enters the main road, and goes in the direction of the escaping car. After a while, the car of the robbers comes into view.

Gavin: This is an island, it’s not far from town. They’re probably taking the highway to the pier, then leaving via boat. There aren’t any high-speed cars, nor a speed limit. As long as we can close the distance, it wouldn’t be difficult to stop them. But it’s clear that they’re more familiar with the road…

MC: So what’s most important now is that we can’t lose them, and try our best to find suitable roads to close the distance. Then we’ll chase them on the highway, right?

Hearing my words, Gavin gently smiles as he nods.

Gavin: MC, help me with navigation.

He hands me his phone. I look at the car in front of us and the digital map in my hands, and embark on my first experience as a “Navigator”.

MC: They’re going against the one-way traffic regulation. We have to turn left, take the fork, and go around the small alley!

Without a single shred of hesitation, Gavin follows my directions and turns into a small alley. Because of the change in roads, the escaping car disappears from our line of sight.

MC: Turn right at the second exit, then keep going straight.

My palms are sweating slightly as I do my best to find a plausible route that can close the distance.

Since we can’t see the escaping car, I don’t have much confidence on whether we can succeed.

MC: Make another right turn at the next exit and enter the main road!

Gavin: All right. Got it.

In contrast to my tense and anxious self, Gavin confidently and assuredly follows my directions, putting his entire trust in me.

After passing the fork, the escaping car re-enters our line of sight, and the distance between both cars has indeed closed quite a bit.

MC: That’s great…

Gavin: Don’t worry.

Gavin’s voice says this assuredly – somewhat relaxed even, a huge contrast to my flustered self.

Gavin: We’re doing well so far.

Even as the distance between the cars continues to lessen, Gavin’s driving remains extremely steady.

Sitting in the passenger seat, I never would have never expected to experienced such violent movements as we give chase, making a few more turns and reverses in direction.

MC: There is still 800m to the highway. With our current distance, can we reach them?

Gavin: It’s enough.

Gavin steadily lowers the speed as he makes a turn. The car speeds up once it re-enters a straight path.

Gavin: Leave the rest to me.

Both cars speed down the highway bordering the sea. The scraping of the tires and the roaring engines tears the peace and quiet of the road.

On one side of road is a cliff, and on the other is the clear blue sea. While it is obviously a pleasant scenery, we have no time to appreciate it.

Another bend is ahead, but the escaping car remains stubbornly in front of us.

My heart is thrumming violently, and I grip the inner handle of the car door tightly.

Gavin remains utterly confident, leaning his hands on the steering wheel in a relaxed manner.

In a few seconds, the front of the car rubs against the cliff, entering the same lane as the escaping car.

From my vantage point, I can see that the person driving is a man in his thirties or forties. Seeing that we have almost reached them, he flashes us a glare and loudly curses while leaning towards us, wanting to force us into a dead-end.

MC: Be careful!

Gavin: It’s fine, I can handle it.

Even before Gavin finishes speaking, he has already brought the car closer to the cliff, not forgetting to flash a signal.

The sudden acceleration makes me squeeze my eyes shut instinctively. The gusts of wind sweeping past my ears seem to be confidently declaring its victory.

Gavin: Hold tight. It wouldn’t be as steady after this.

He shoots a glance into the rear-view mirror, his eyes flashing in a predatory manner.

I hurriedly lean on the car door, gripping the handle tightly, and also pressing the flowers Gavin gave to me to my chest.

Gavin slams on the brakes. The tires rub on the asphalt, letting out a harsh noise.

The high temperature generated by the friction causes smoke to rise from the rear of the car. I can even smell burnt rubber. The body of the car skids and turns along with his movements, stopping in the middle of the road.

The robbers are unable to react in time, frantically slamming on the brakes. The car leans along the cliff and jerkily comes to a halt.

The cover of the engine is deformed from the impact, emitting a thick cloud of smoke, unable to operate any further.

MC: We’ve succeeded!

I can’t help but exclaim.

MC: Gavin, you’re amazing!

Gavin: Their car type wouldn’t have been able to keep up, and…

Gavin turns to me, tucking my hair behind my ears, his lips unable to suppress a smile.

Gavin: I have the best partner by my side.

Before I can respond, I hear the sound of the robbers cursing angrily and slamming the car door.

Despite their circumstances, they still come out of the car, holding their stolen items and wanting to escape.

Gavin frowns, and a strong gust of wind whips up, moving towards them.

The continually rising air current sweeps the robbers up mid-air. Even the fierce-looking driver goes pale as he kicks his hands and feet in the air.

Only after Gavin sets them back on the ground does he remain in place, trembling.

Gavin: Call the police. I’ll deal with them.

I toss out my phone while smiling and pointing at the bag in our car which stores camping materials.

MC : There are ropes in there!

I never thought that our items meant for camping would be used in such a situation.

Gavin nods. Before the gets off, he turns and leans towards me, reaching for the side of my neck. The calluses on his fingers are slightly ticklish.

He carefully fastens the ribbon I was wearing on my neck. This poor “necklace” has become crooked from the wind.

Gavin: I’ll be back soon.

He gently touches my forehead, then gets off. He lifts the robbers one by one, tying them up.

I look at the smoke rising from the front of the car and the battered engine cover, gauging the situation.

After detailing our current location and the situation to the police, Gavin sweeps dust off his hands as he returns to my side.

MC: How is it?

Gavin: They’re all fine.

Gavin pauses, turns back to look at the car, then shrugs.

Gavin: The front cover is beyond repair though, and there are several places that need repair.

MC: [deadpanned] I hope they bought insurance.

I look at Gavin, and he laughs knowingly.

The bouquet in my arms remains just as eye-catching as they were before, with not a single trace of that intense car chase. It sways lightly along with the sea breeze.

Gavin: Let’s go back. We haven’t finish what we planned to do today.

Gavin pulls the door open for me. In the sunlight, his fringe blows gently with the sea breeze. A faint smile graces his lips.

Gavin: Let’s hope the store owner helps us wrap the bottles of wine properly.

By the time we finish walking through the town to our heart’s content and drive back, it is already sunset.

MC: That citrus-flavoured pasta tasted very unique, but it’s really not bad.

Gavin: Want to go again tomorrow afternoon?

MC: Mm… it’s fine. I want to try the shop we passed by earlier – the one with the ham and smoked cheese.

The setting sun dyes the clouds a soft warm colour. We chat casually, driving leisurely on the highway.

Now, we finally have the time to appreciate the scenery along the coast.

MC: This hotel is pretty far from town…

Gavin: It’s fine if it’s a little far. Look.

As Gavin says this, the car slows to a halt at the side of the road.

I follow his line of sight. Like an open space of an observatory, I am able to see the entirety of the town we just left.

The small town is quietly nestled in the arms of the cliff, overlooking the expansive sea. Everything in front of me has been dyed a layer of faint gold colour.

MC: Wow, it’s beautiful…

Gavin doesn’t say anything, and only holds my hand.

He leans back in a relaxed manner, a hand on the back of the seat, as though encircling me in his arms. His breath softly and overbearingly overtakes my senses.

Whether it’s due to the warmth of the setting sun or the body heat from Gavin, my face starts to heat up.

Gavin: The weather should be good tomorrow as well.

At the sound of his voice, I turn to look at Gavin, who meets my eyes at the same time.

I always find that even the most brilliant and colourful sunset cannot compare to the reflection of the sky in his eyes.

MC: What are we going to do tomorrow?

I unconsciously lean closer to him.

Gavin: We’ll talk about it tomorrow.

Gavin shifts, taking me into his arms.

When I lift my head towards Gavin, he leans down.

A gentle kiss, like a lemon flower petal, descends on my lips.

The touch of sea breeze, the faint scent of leather, the breath that only belongs to Gavin - all the beautiful things one can imagine surround me.

I open my eyes, gazing directly into a pair of shimmering amber eyes.

Gavin: Shall we continue our journey?

I smile and reach out to rub his neck.

MC: Mm, yes!

Gavin removes his jacket and places it on me. He turns on the music, and the song I picked out earlier flows into the car.

MC: Gavin, let’s try the lemon wine tonight!

Gavin: Sure. Let’s hope we can find the small bites you mentioned you liked the last time.

Gavin steps on the pedal. With low purr, the engine starts up. The sports car once again sets out on the road.

The town and the sunset are left behind us, and flickering stars can be faintly seen in the sky - A new scenery is already awaiting us.

Wind sweeps past, and the sunset elongates our shadows.

Our journey has only just begun.

🎐

Phone calls: First l Second

#mlqc #mlqc spoilers #mlqc cn #mlqc gavin #love and producer #my heart is full and my soul is cleansed

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alexhziee · 3 years ago

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Review: Perfect and Casual

STORY

So the drama focuses on the love story between clumsy and optimistic Yun Shu and her cold and “overly perfect” professor of Mathematics Zhang Sinian.

In the early episodes, it kind of annoyed me that Yun Shu was really gullible. I hate that people kept on taking advantage of her and she has little fighting spirit. She does have a great support system but I somehow feel like it made her dependent, she is unprepared to face the outside world of college. I mean like its only episode 4 and she was scammed twice! I kind of viewed her as careless, impulsive, indecisive, dependent, immature but loyal, kind and compassionate.

My first impressions were 1. Professor Zhang is too cold, borderline Stiff but he is extremely good looking while our female is his exact opposite. When he is perfect, responsible and very logical while she is more casual, careless, irresponsible, carefree, and more in touch with her emotional side.

2. Our female lead has a really good support system, from her overly supportive friends and her protective older sister. 3. No matter how perfect Professor Zhang may seem when it comes to his grandfather, he becomes desperate and impulsive and last 4. This drama will definitely have quite a number of clichés.

I’m conflicted with this drama. I love that Yun Shu eventually matured in the end, it had a good happy ending, not too annoying supporting cast (namely those who wanted to split our Prof Zhang and Yun Shu), really good lines, and adorably sweet couples. Good lines like the following:

“Quantum Entanglement. I dreamed of two quanta, one was in forward rotation and while the other was in reverse rotation. Even if they were apart, they were closely linked together in the unseen world due to some principles which cannot be explained by modern science. In the same trajectory and frequency, they formed a pair”

-Grandpa Zhang

“We’re married first and then fell in love… I’m old fashioned and not humorous but one thing I’m sure of is I really like you. So I hope we can get to know each other more.”

-Prof. Zhang

“He forces me to do math with a cold face every day and criticize me. I never heard good things from him but. Although he looks school, he is actually a warm person. Its him who has always been encouraging and supporting me. He made me who I’ am right now”

-Yun Shu

Then that time that someone wanted to get in between them, I’m so happy when Yun Shu finally stood up for herself and somewhat protected what was hers. She was not gonna be bullied lol.

“Thank you for worrying about me. Indeed you are older than me and have riched experience than me but I hope you can know that I’m Zhang Sinian’s wife. I’m already a married woman”

My heart was like Yes girl!

“I’m not that childish. I want to be a better half of you not your stumbling block. Although, I don’t quite understand your world view but at least, I can try my best for your life plan”

-Yun Shu

Then grandpa Zhang always has amazing pep talks.

“You don’t have to worry because they’re so much alike. They’re like two parallel lines and never intersect with each other. They’re elites with common interests and they’ve known each other for a long time, but if they’re together, they can only become like-minded friends”

-Granpd Zhang

And of course the highlight of the last 2 episodes is when Prof. Zhang was in a business trip and someone was snaking her way in which just irritated me to no end but Prof. Zhang’s confession is one for the books.

“I counted the times we get along with each other since I met Yun Shu for the fist time to the building of our contractual relationship and to this business trip. The number of times we get along with each other during this period is 821 times. In the process of contact, the percentage she showed happiness to me is 83.33%, amid this, 12% wasn’t caused by me. So the process of her getting along with me shows happiness generally. I also calculated my feelings about Yun Shu. Happiness and joy accounts for 73.33% so the date of the two of us getting along with each other is quite big among general couples.”

-Prof Zhang

Someone who is as stiff as him, this is one of his best lines. His brain isn’t like any guy who could come up with something so sweet, cheesy or corny, instead his brain functions with numbers, probabilities, data and conclusions so this line was such a sweet way of telling the other girl that Yun Shu is the only one who can make him happy and no one else.

Now for some of things that I was not exactly a fan off (don’t worry I’ll try not to spoil too much but if you really don’t want to hear about it, then skip and head straight to Characters) I was not fond of the beginning of the drama, I found the female lead really annoying, weak and immature. Then most of the story is quite predictable but I wasn’t really mad at it, I was just hoping for something more.

For a 24 episode drama, it took me a while to finish this, not that long but longer than I expected to watch this drama. I took a break at first half and was really leaning into dropping it but decided to still give it a shot and I’m happy that I did. The story, despite its very common clichés and predictability, got better during the second half of the drama.

CHARACTERS

Yun Shu

a graduating student who is almost half way through her last year but was set back when she failed her defense, got fired from her job and ultimately became homeless. She is loyal, kind and compassionate but at times can be naive/gullible. She can be indecisive and at first quite dependent to her friends but she is very compassionate and has high EQ. Even though it took some time but eventually she matures into a woman who will fight for her loved ones and make mature decisions.

Zhang Sinian

A “perfectionist” Professor of Mathematics. He is aloof and cold genius. He doesn't have friends as he mostly focuses on his work and is quite insensitive. But despite being cool and distant, when it comes to his grandfather, he loses his control and becomes impulsive. I love that despite falling in love and the major changes in his life, his character didn’t change that much. I love that the writers really stick to his stiff and blunt personality and instead of changing his character they just improved him. I love that he didn’t become soft or weak.

Characters to mention:

Yun Lan

Yun Shu’s smart and workaholic older sister. She is the exact opposite of Yun Shu and probably like a more affectionate and protective female version of Sinian. She has her life set but she gets flustered because of her “encounter” with Lu Yu. She is your typical over protective sister who really dotes on their baby sister without realising that may sometimes become overbearing cause they think that that they know everything about the world and that they have to have a say in everything (why do I sound like I’m talking about something personal? LOL) but truly, she is definitely one of my favorite characters in the drama.

Gao Zhi Yi

One of two of Yun Shu bestfriend. She offered lots of good advice to Yun Shu and was always there whenever Yun Shu needed someone to talk to. I don’t remember what happened with Lin Nuo in the past ‘cause her overall love life is a mess (lol) tbh, I was not her biggest fan at the beginning ‘cause she sometimes acts like (not to be rude but) always desperate to have a “rich/good” boyfriend but somehow she kind of grew on me. I love that she was always a good emotional support to Yun Shu, always there to offer her shoulder and advices. She was always loyal and never demanded anything in return.

Lu Yu

Prof. Zhang’s famous childhood friend. He is a popular actor who fell in love with Yun Lan and continued to pursue her despite her cold refusals but his persistence is really cute and funny.

Lin Nuo

one of Yun Shu’s bestfriend along with Zhi Yi. like Zhi Yi, he is extremely supportive and loyal to his friend. Although, the way he acts with Zhi Yi is definitely more than a friend would and I noticed even at the beginning that his feelings has not changed. He is the guy friend that every girl wants, the type that will always be there for you.

CAST

I’m definitely gonna search for more of Miles Wei’s (Zhang Sinian) projects, I kinda like him. I don’t really have much to complain about the cast.

FINAL THOUGHTS

RATING: 8.5/10

The drama didn’t really hook me in immediately and was on the verge of dropping it since I was not fond of the first half of the drama but the second half was definitely better (definitely better since I actually finished it lol). Even though I was a bit reluctant with the drama, it definitely has its moments. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I was expecting on my first watch but when I re-watched it again, it definitely grew on me and could definitely say that this might get into my pick me up drama list.

ABOUT THE DRAMA

Synopsis:

This story revolves around the cold and icy "male god" professor Zhang Sinian and the calm and sunny Yun Shu.

After a fractious first meeting, where Yun Shu dressed down the especially finicky Sinian, she was shocked to find out that he was her university lecturer. Through a series of coincidental encounters, the two agreed to engage in a contractual marriage. As the feelings between them grow, how will they keep their relationship from those around them?

Country: China

Episodes: 24

Aired: Sep 28, 2020 - Oct 20, 2020

Aired On: Monday, Tuesday, Saturday, Sunday

Original Network: Mango TV, Mango TV

Duration: 45 min.

Director: Li Shuang

Genres: Romance, School, Drama

Source: https://mydramalist.com/54889-mr-perfect-and-miss-almost and google

WHERE TO WATCH

I watched it on YT, 99% subbed (with only episode 7 as raw) but it is fully subbed on DC and FD but unfortunately not available on KA, VIKI and Viu. Its available on iQiyi and WeTV as well.

#Cdrama #Chinese Drama #Drama #School #Miles Wei #Xu Ruo Han #Dai Yun Fan #Romance #contract marriage #Drama Review #Review #Drama Rec

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quiet-onset · 6 years ago

Text

No One

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3,810

TW: solitude?? Brainwashing, violence, and google translated Russian lol

A/N: I wrote half of this in my constitutional history class instead of paying attention lol. I still got an A on the midterm though, so who’s the real winner here? I hope y’all like it!

The dark is comforting in a way.

You were taken from the light and put into darkness against your will. You were scared then, terrified. The feeling bubbled up in your throat as the doors were closed, and the darkness swallowed you. You remember banging on the doors, calling out for help with no answer. In the beginning, the men would slam the door open, hitting and beating you until you quieted down. Later on, they’d just let you scream until you tired yourself out.

You knew better now.

You embraced the darkness for the better part of five years — it was your home. You only saw the light a handful of times since being forced into the darkness. It was never very eventful; you’d much rather be left alone in the dark. But the last time, unbeknownst to you, something changed.

It had been maybe two years since the last time anyone besides your guards had seen you. You were somewhat of a legend there, you noticed. When they saw you from the practice room, your wrists and ankles bound together with a heavy dust-red metal chain, they began to whisper among themselves.

A pair of steel blue eyes followed you from one end of the hallway to the other. He studied you, the worn out clothing, the way you walked with your eyes closed, relying on the guards to tug your chains in the right direction. You were completely docile, beaten into submission. You were the only person in Hydra more mysterious than him.

He realized he was staring when the recruits’ whispering turned into outright conversation. He felt the eyes of his overseers on him as he turned back to the recruits. “Внимание!”

He watched as they jumped, fearfully returning their attention to him. When his cold eyes looked back up, he was met with Y/E/C eyes, curious and calculating. He blinked hard, a strange feeling overcoming him. The look in your eyes was familiar. It reminded him of himself. All those years ago, when Hydra had finally succeeded in installing the Winter Soldier. Your eyes had the same look that he did just before it happened.

The moment ended as soon as it began when the guards tugged roughly on the chains.

When you were returned back to your cell, you went back to the darkness. Much more comfortable there, you sat on your mattress and brought your knees to your chest, simply reviewing your surroundings. There were the toilet and the sink in the back corner, your empty cup sitting on the edge. The small hole in the wall where they’d slide your food in every so often. The mattress against the wall, with the thin, useless blanket thrown on top of it. It was quiet and familiar.

Then, you heard a scrape against the floor.

Your head snapped up as you watched a small sheet of paper slide under the door. You looked at the door with narrowed eyes as if the steel could feel your suspicion. You jumped a bit when a pencil followed, rolling against the stone floor. You crawled over and placed your ear to the ground as you watched a pair of boot-covered feet step away from your door.

You knew better than to reach for it. You knew it had to be a game, a trick to throw you off. But your body worked against you, and your hand snatched up the paper. You slowly unfolded it, reading the simple words scrawled in Russian.

кто ты? Who are you?

Your lips pursed and your brow furrowed as you grunted in annoyance. Your guards knew who you were. Why ask pointless questions? You scribbled your response and roughly pushed the paper and pencil back under the door.

Уходи. Go away.

You turned to return to your mattress, but there was that sound again: paper against concrete. Your head turned slowly to find the same paper on the floor. The pencil rolled back under, only stopping when it hit your toe. You picked up the paper and read it, seeing nothing new. Just the same words, underlined.

кто ты? Who are you?

You sighed as you ran your tongue over your bottom lip. Perhaps you were stupid for playing into this game, but you couldn’t help it. Human contact is a necessity for survival, and you certainly weren’t getting enough of it. You hesitantly picked up the pencil, scribbling your response and pushing it lightly under the door.

The same steel blue eyes you’d met earlier read your response with a crease in his forehead.

я никто. I am no one.

His ears perked up as he heard footsteps approaching from the opposing hallway. He knew better than to be there. If he got caught there, he would be punished severely. He doesn’t even dare to imagine what they’d do if they found out he was communicating with you. It was against everything Hydra had drilled into his head. Yet, the look in your eyes seemed to pierce through all of that programming. So he stood there, holding his breath until whoever it was passed the hallway and the footsteps faded. Letting the breath out, he snatched the pencil off the ground and wrote his next question.

On the other side, you picked up the note.

Все это кто-то. Everyone is someone.

You scoffed at the words on the paper. It seemed too idealistic, the thought of you having an identity. You knew you had one at some point, but whoever you were disappeared five years ago when you were thrown into the darkness. The ever-inviting yet petrifying darkness.

When the note was slid back under the door, he heard your footsteps pad away from it. It was clear that whatever conservation you were having was over. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset when he swiped up the paper and pencil and began walking down the hall. He unfolded the note and read your message.

Не я. Уже нет. Я никто. Not me. Not anymore. I am no one.

—

Two weeks had passed before you received another note.

You were laying on your mattress, staring at the ceiling. Relaxing was easier that way. You could lose yourself in the darkness. Forget all your feelings of dread and regret, of fear and suffering, and just be. Part of you could barely remember the appeal of the light. Then, the familiar scraping sound perked up your ears.

You sat up and looked around as if anyone could see you engage in this unpermitted communication. Then, you quickly walked over and picked up the note.

Почему они хотят тебя? Why do they want you?

Finally, a question you could answer. You’d spent so much time in that dark and dank room that you’d forgotten who you were. (Or maybe you chose to forget.) The one thing you did know was the reason Hydra kept you locked in that room. They never let you forget; it was the only reason you saw light every now and then when they’d take you from the room.

On the other side of the door, the Soldier stood with his arms crossed, impatiently waiting for an answer. He’d waited two weeks to return, opting to figure out your guards’ schedules before making the trek back down to your cell. He had a million questions but was afraid to ask them. In his experience, questions equaled punishment.

The note was slid out with force, causing him to look down when it hit his shoe. He bent over to pick it up and read it eagerly.

У меня есть силы. Они хотят использовать их. I have powers. They want to use them.

His brow furrowed as he considered your answer. He thought Hydra was done with powered people. They’d created him, their perfect super soldier, and had a few more in the making. What other powers could they need?

When the note slid back under, you had moved to sit against the wall. You found yourself waiting in anticipation for a response. It was the first time someone had spoken to you like a person and allowed you to respond. You were careful not to let that anticipation turn into happiness. There was no room for happiness there.

Какие полномочия? What kind of powers?

You felt your defenses fly up at the question. You suddenly rethought your choice to trust this person, whoever they were. Everyone you’d met in that godforsaken place wanted to use you, so what made this person any different. Instead of answering him, you wrote a response of your own before roughly sliding it back out.

Кто ты? Who are you?

He picked up the pencil and began to write his response when something told him to stop. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was strong enough to make him reconsider his answer. The Soldier didn’t know how long he had existed, but he just then realized that he was not always the Winter Soldier.

Зимний сол Я не знаю. The Winter Sol I don’t know.

Your head tilted at the answer, confused as to how he didn’t know who he was. You knew who you were deep down inside, but you were just too afraid to say it. If you did, Hydra would just try to beat it out of once more. You chose to forget, to have no identity, to avoid that. But this person? This person didn’t know, and that caused the small bit of empathy you had left to swell.

You wrote a response and slid it back under.

Может быть, вы никто. Мы не можем быть ни с кем вместе. Maybe you are no one. We can be no one together.

When the Soldier’s eyes scanned over your response, he felt a strange feeling in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it was. It was different from the usual beating of his heart, which was beating just a tad faster. He felt heat creep up his neck as his hair fell into his eyes. He didn’t know if there was a word for the feeling, but he liked it. He liked the feeling and wanted, needed to feel it again.

When the paper slid back under, you felt the corner of your lip twitch like you wanted to smile, but couldn’t.

Я полагаю, мы можем. I suppose we can.

The notes continued for the next few months. He was careful to avoid your guards, listening for them and keeping track of any changes to their schedules. Eventually, after an incident when the tip of the pencil broke, he brought two pens; one for him and one for you to keep. You hid it under your pillow at night, brushing over it to remind yourself that someone remembered you.

You hadn’t learned much about each other’s past. In your case, they were memories that made you sad and angry. Memories that you’d rather not relive. In his case, they were memories that were buried under a ton of Hydra programming. Memories that were there, but just out of his reach. He would tell you when he could remember little bits and pieces of who he was trying to crawl his way back into his brain. Still, you built a foundation of trust, of friendship even.

Sometimes, you even wondered if it was more than that.

Sure, love seemed inconceivable for you both, but you couldn’t deny the feeling. The anticipation of his visits. The way you grasped the pen tight in your fist when the darkness suddenly seemed a bit too dark. The way your heart jumped when he knocked four times, the code to let you know it was him. There was no other way to explain it.

You decided to ask him once if he could love. His brow had furrowed at the question as he had never thought about the possibility of love. Love wasn’t a part of his programming, yet the feeling in his stomach as he approached your cell with a pen and paper in hand said otherwise.

Я не знаю. Что чувствует любовь? I don’t know. What does love feel like?

You weren’t sure how to answer him. Putting your feelings into words was difficult, but you knew you had to. You had to tell him how you felt, even if he didn’t or couldn’t feel the same way. It was something you had to do for yourself.

The Soldier unfolded the note slowly, unsure of what to expect.

Когда ты все время думаешь о ком-то. И вы взволнованы или нервничаете, чтобы увидеть их снова. Когда вы чувствуете, что можете сказать кому-нибудь что-нибудь, потому что знаете, что он все еще будет там. Это любовь, я думаю. When you think of someone all the time. And you're excited or nervous to see them again. When you feel like you can tell someone anything because you know they'll still be there. That's love, I think.

Suddenly, he felt a shock rush through his mind, a feeling he was beginning to become accustomed to. Something had broken through his programming. He gasped at the short pain before leaning his head on the concrete wall behind him. He took a deep breath and blinked hard, caught off guard by your response. You had described the feeling in his chest down to a tee.

You, on the other side of the door, finally let out a breath when he slid the note back under.

Если это так, то да. Я могу любить. Я люблю. If that's what it is, yes. I can love. I do love.

—

A year later, the notes were coming less frequently. He had assured you it was because Hydra had him on longer and more frequent missions. So you were surprised by his last visit. You’d heard his footsteps, loud and heavy, as he practically ran down the hall. You were worried it was a guard coming to take you, but he knocked four times. You grabbed your pen and sat by the door as he slid his note underneath.

На мосту был человек. Я узнал его. There was a man on the bridge. I recognized him.

Your eyes widened as you wrote your response and slid it under the door.

Вы узнали его откуда? You recognized him from where?

As he wrote his response frantically, he knew his handwriting was becoming messier. He knew he might’ve spelled something wrong, or it might not have made sense. But he was running out of time, and he had to tell you before they found him.

Из моих воспоминаний. Я помню. Он во всех них. From my memories. I remember. He’s in all of them.

You hesitated when you picked up your pen. What did that mean for you? If he remembered, then you were back to being alone. You were back to being no one all by yourself. After knowing how it feels to be with someone, even if you’re not really with them, you didn’t know if you could handle being alone again. He’d brought a sliver of light into your darkness, and you cherished it.

Так кто ты такой? So who are you?

Just as he hesitantly picked up his pen, you heard them. They were coming down the hallway, and there was a lot of them. You knocked against the door, trying to alert him, but the blood was pounding so loud in his ears, he barely registered the noise. Then, there they were. Coming down the hall with powered handcuffs and heavy duty tasers of the highest degree.

“So this is where you’ve been, Soldat.”

Karpov. His voice made you cringe, recognizing him as the man who’d been poking and prodding at you for years on end as he tried to discover the extent of your powers. He shouted for his men to detain the Soldier and stood back as they followed through.

He tried to fight them off, but with the tasers, it seemed impossible. You flinched and covered your ears as you heard him shout in pain. The smell of burning flesh started to seep under the door, tears welling up in your eyes. You could hear him continuing to grunt as he weakly fought back, now with the powered cuffs secured on his wrists.

Suddenly, light flooded your eyes as the door was thrown open. You scurried back and attempted to shield your eyes, but two men simply grabbed your arms and hauled you to your feet. Your eyes landed on the Soldier, on his knees and at the mercy of Karpov. Still, he grunted and attempted to lunge at the men holding you.

“Leave her alone.” He growled.

Karpov tased him, making him groan in pain, and leaned down as he tugged on the Soldier’s long hair. “You’re not in the place to be giving orders, are you?”

The two of you were dragged from the cell through a maze of hallways. You didn’t recognize the room you’d arrived in, but the Soldier seemed to. He began to fight back with more strength without success. Even as he was strapped to a chair with a strange contraption hanging over his head, he attempted to break the restraints.

“Calm down, Soldat. This isn’t for you. At least not yet.” Karpov started, making you flinch once more at his voice. He walked up to you, and you shied away from his touch but didn’t dare to move. The Soldier tensed as Karpov raised his hand to your cheek, just barely grazing over your skin. Your heart was beating in your ears, but it wasn’t loud enough to keep you from hearing what Karpov said next. “Put her in that chair.”

Suddenly, the Soldier started wildly fighting his restraints and the tasers pressed into his ribs, shouting for him to leave you alone. He screamed at the top of his lungs as he tried everything he could think of to make them stop.

“I’ll kill you all!”

“Don’t you dare touch her!”

“Just take me and leave her, please!”

But none of it worked. He was forced to sit and watch as they reprogrammed you, just like they did to him. Your screams were muffled by the mouthpiece, and you were only allowed a second to breathe between each shock as they read what would soon become your trigger words. “Synonym, highlight, courtyard, nickel, potent, insipid, twenty-three, erosion, eight,” Karpov paused, sending a smirk to the man still bound to his chair. “Soldat.”

Then, he saw it. That look that was far too familiar. The blank look in your eyes that was just waiting for a command. They had finally broken you. Karpov spoke once more, his lips close to your ear. “Your new name is Creator. Understood?”

“Understood.” It was the first time the Soldier had heard your voice.

“Back to your cell, Creator.”

Everyone watched as you walked out of the room and back to your cell with no coercion or force from anyone. The Soldier felt a new feeling in his chest, a feeling he was desperate to get rid of. He wanted to reach into his sternum and pull out his heart if only to make the pain stop.

His wish was granted within a few seconds because Karpov wiped him next. Everything was back to square one.

However, it wouldn’t be long until the Soldier remembered everything. He was fighting his target, Captain America, on the roof of some building when the hero said something that cut through his programming like a knife. “I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”

Just like that, he was no longer the Soldier. He was James Buchanan Barnes, affectionately known as Bucky. He was Steve Rogers’ best friend. He was an older brother, a member of the Howling Commandos, and he remembered you.

A year or so had passed when Bucky walked back into that secret Hydra base with Steve on his right, Natasha on his left, and Sam scouting the outside. Shuri had invented some new tech that would erase the programming from your mind in mere moments. After hearing his story about you, she realized it was part of the guilt he had been carrying around since it happened and immediately got to work.

“What do I do when I find her, Shuri?” Bucky asked nervously, speaking into the comms.

“Just place the device on her temple, and I will do the rest.” She replied as she looked at the schematics of the building. “I’ve got you, White Wolf, don’t you worry. By the way, someone tripped the silent alarm so expect a fight.”

“Guys.” Bucky hissed.

“It wasn’t me,” Steve said defensively. “Had to have been Nat.”

“Yes, the trained assassin and spy obviously tripped the silent alarm.” She replied sarcastically.

“Can you guys just get in and out, please? Damn.” Sam interrupted the two. “Y’all give me a headache.”

The resistance was heavier than expected but nothing the team couldn’t handle. Bucky left Steve and Nat to hold the line as he fought his way through to your containment cell. When he saw you, it was like nothing changed, yet everything was different. Your eyes still had the same blank look as you stared at him. “You are an enemy now, Soldat.” He watched your eye twitch as you said the word.

“I won’t be for long.” He said. “Just trust me.”

“Who are you for me to trust?”

“I’m no one. And so are you.” He looked down at you with wide, careful eyes as he attached the device to your temple. “Now, Shuri.”

“On it.” She replied.

He watched as your eyes shut tight. You threw your head to one side then the other, grunting at the intrusion in your brain. He could see your eyes moving rapidly under your eyelids as you struggled to keep up with whatever Shuri was doing. “Shuri?”

“Almost done.”

Seconds later, you stopped moving. Your head fell forward, and your body went limp. Bucky rushed up to you, kneeling in front of your chair. After he removed your restraints, with his hands protectively resting on your thighs, he looked up as you started to gain consciousness once more. “Hey,” Bucky said softly, moving one hand to cup your cheek. “Hey. Do you know who you are?”

Your brow creased as you looked back down at him with a confused look on your face. He held his breath as your lips parted to answer. “I’m… I am no one.”

Bucky let out a breath of relieved laughter, as he saw your smile for the first time, “Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

“I’d rather you call me Y/N, though.”

“Y/N.” Your name was sweet as it rolled off his tongue. “What do you say we get out of here, yeah?”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #wintersoldier!bucky barnes x reader #wintersoldier!bucky x reader #marvel x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction

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codevassie · 6 years ago

Note

Hi (ノ^o^)ノso i saw ur post about accepting one shot request and i was hoping if you could make a fluff one where Ash and Eiji are somewhat internet friends and their friends made a plan that would make them both see each other for the first time. :3c btw love your works ☺☺

CV: I don’t know what I wrote. Please, just take it.

I’m so sorry this took so long!! School is destroying me but I’m trying to do things that I enjoy so I can keep stable. Hence, this one-shot was So Much Fun to write. This turned out nothing like I thought it would though, tbh. I don’t think I’ve ever written anything like this. Which is weird bc I’ve wanted to do internet friends au for a while, and now, with the chance, I turned it into a crack fic. RIP. I hope you enjoy it anyway. Thank you for the fun request!

And, thank you so much! It’s so funny to see when people find me who already like my stuff lol. It warms my heart

Bringing his phone’s camera up, Ash took a quick picture of his shoes, kicked up on the table, to send to Eiji. It wasn’t anything special, anything significant. It was a conversation starter, because Ash was bored out of his mind and, hopefully, Eiji wasn’t too busy with class to reply.

“Nadia’s not gonna like that,” Shorter said from the table next to his in the Wong’s family-owned restaurant. His table, in contrast to Ash’s which held only his dirty red converse, was scattered in papers, covered in an incomprehensible jumble of symbols in light and harsh pencil, two different handwritings. Surprisingly, the lighter was Shorter’s, while the heavier, harsher handwriting was Sing’s, the kid from Shorter’s neighborhood he was helping with homework.

Ash shrugged, but slid his feet off the table, glancing toward the boy next to Shorter. He was frowning down at his paper, scratching his head with a cheap mechanical pencil that had the tip almost chewed completely off. He was short and had a billowy-looking jacket on. It was hard to believe he was a high school student, to be honest, and Ash wondered what it must be like to see him in his university classes. He dual-enrolled at one of the colleges close by. Sing was a smart kid. It made him wonder why he’d go to Shorter, of all people, for help. Most people didn’t typically see Shorter as the “smart” sort.

But Sing had known Shorter for most of his life, apparently. And he looked up to the guy a lot. Not that Ash, as Shorter’s best friend, knew him that well because of it. To be honest, Ash could count on a single hand how many times he’d met the kid over the years.

The kid was weird too. He didn’t really talk to Ash, and refused to look at him when Ash tried to make eye-contact. The second Ash looked away, though, he could feel the kid staring. It was a little unsettling, but he could tell Sing didn’t mean any harm, so he pretty much ignored it.

Ash’s phone buzzed where it was still safely clutched in hand, and his eyes snapped away from the two at the other table. When he looked at the screen, he confirmed his hopes with a slight leap in his heart, and clicked eagerly into his messages where a picture had been sent in response. It was of a pair of tennis shoes, walking along a sidewalk, going by the slight blurriness of the picture. Surprisingly, it was a pretty ugly picture.

Ash: i thought you said you were a photography student damn

Eiji: Meanie! For your information, I am carrying twelve hundred pounds of textbooks in my bag rn so leave me alone >:(

Ash: >:P

Eiji: >:P

Ash chuckled, about to reply again when Shorter’s voice carried over, sounding amused.

“Hey, dude, stop making kissy faces at your phone and come help with this problem.”

Ash looked up, a frown on his face. “I was not making kissy faces,” he said, defensively, shutting off his phone anyway.

“Oh, really?” Shorter asked, voice teasing. “So that wasn’t Eiji you were texting?”

Sing looked up, curious now and suddenly able to look at Ash. It took him aback for a moment. “Eiji?” he asked.

It was Ash’s turn to avoid Sing’s gaze, getting up to move over to the table. He pulled the paper toward him, looking at the problem in question while Shorter took it upon himself to explain.

“Eiji is Ash’s online crush,” he said. Ash sent him a death glare. “Online friend,” he corrected, not sounding too serious about the correction, truthfully. Ash gave up, taking a pencil and scratching out the steps to the problem on a blank sheet.

“Really?” Sing asked, sounding surprised. Ash’s pocket vibrated and he reached for it immediately. Shorter laughed.

Eiji: Natto for lunch! I know how much you like it!

Ash rolled his eyes and got to work typing out a reply. He didn’t notice the contemplative look Sing had adopted as he watched him.

-/-

To tell the truth, Eiji really didn’t like his statistics class. Math had never been his forte, no, but that wasn’t even the worst of it. His professor kind of sucked. In that way where he goes insanely fast through the material, doesn’t work any of it out on the board, and gets irritated when a student has a question. Eiji usually tried to keep an open mind about people, especially math professors, who get bad reps just for being math professors, but this guy really got on his nerves.

But, at least he had friends in this class. When Eiji entered the lecture hall that day, Yut-Lung was already sitting in his usual spot, carefully unpacking materials from his bag and placing them one-by-one on the table. When Eiji approached, he greeted Yut-Lung with a big smile.

“Good afternoon, Yut-Lung!”

Yut-Lung looked up, already sighing. His shoulders were both tense and resigned at once. With an annoyed eye, he observed Eiji moving into the seat, Eiji’s usual spot as well, beside him.

“Eiji Okumura,” he greeted, nothing but cordial. He placed a few pens neatly beside his notebook, then a calculator.

Eiji wasn’t stupid. He knew Yut-Lung wasn’t his biggest fan. But Eiji thought that maybe with a little patience and respect and kindness, he could crack that cold exterior. He wanted to be friends with Yut-Lung, and, believe it or not, he’d already made tremendous progress. It was a little dissuading at times, especially when it was almost the end of semester and Eiji couldn’t think of any reason Yut-Lung would continue seeing him when this class was over, but he wouldn’t give up.

“Hey, guys,” another voice joined and Eiji perked up. When Sing took the seat on the other side of Yut-Lung, Eiji waved. Yut-Lung even spared a ‘hello’ for the boy. Sing was, apparently, a lot better at getting to know Yut-Lung. Instead of dissuading Eiji further, however, it gave him hope. Yut-Lung could be befriended. This was the proof. Plus, Sing was a good friend of Eiji’s too and he couldn’t be mad at him for something like that.

“How are you today, Sing?” Eiji asked as Sing plopped his bag onto the table in front of him and unzipped it. Before Sing could respond, however, Eiji’s phone went off. Though he knew it was rude, Eiji couldn’t help but take it out immediately. It was a text from Ash.

Ash: good luck in hell class today

Eiji beamed at the message as his heart warmed. He’d complained about stat to Ash plenty, who even helped with his homework and studying a lot. The guy was some kind of genius with his double major, double minor, and insane knowledge in the STEM field and politics. If only he could pick what he wanted to do and stick with it.

“Who’s that?” Sing asked and Eiji looked up, blinking, having been too immersed in the phone to pick up what he’d said.

“Huh?”

“He asked who you’re texting after you asked him a question,” Yut-Lung explained, raising a single eyebrow in his direction. Eiji’s cheeks colored.

“Oh, it’s just Ash,” he explained. Yut-Lung rolled his eyes, but he could see a certain softness to them. Eiji had told Yut-Lung about Ash before. It was one topic that seemed to amuse him enough to carry on a conversation with Eiji.

“Ash?” Sing asked, sounding a little off. When Eiji looked over, there was a strange, thrilled look to his face. Eiji furrowed his brows, confused.

“Yes? He’s a friend online. I met him through my blog,” he explained. Sing laughed incredulously. “What?” Eiji asked.

But Sing just shook his head. “Nothing.”

Eiji, confused, looked over at Yut-Lung, but he ,himself, was looking at Sing with narrowed eyes. Eiji opened his mouth to ask again, but, just then, their professor spoke up, starting class. Frowning, Eiji sat back and accepted his fate. He’d just have to ask again later.

Out of sight, Sing began typing on his own phone under the table. Beside him, Yut-Lung’s phone went off in his bag. Elsewhere, Shorter’s buzzed to life.

Sing: Yut-Lung, Shorter, I think I’ve discovered something great.

-/-

It was odd how receptive Yut-Lung had been towards him lately. In class, he nodded a lot more when Eiji spoke to him. He walked with him after class until they had to split, asking questions and even calling him just ‘Eiji’ instead of the dreaded full ‘Eiji Okumura’ which made his name sound like a sin. Yut-Lung had even asked him to lunch a couple times these past few weeks.

He was a huge gossip, Eiji came to find, and used to his advantage in conversations. Eiji could gossip, and Yut-Lung loved hearing it all. For someone who liked to keep to himself, he sure liked to know everything about everyone.

One topic that Eiji already knew was a favorite of Yut-Lung’s came up quite often. But, of that, Eiji was a bit more reluctant to talk about. Ash was… special. He was Eiji’s friend. He trusted Eiji with all he told about himself. But Yut-Lung didn’t seem too interested in the personal stuff. Mostly, well…

“You haven’t told Ash how you feel yet?”

“What? How-” Eiji had squeaked, eyes wide, but Yut-Lung had waved it off.

“It’s very obvious,” he said. “Painfully.”

So. There was that. But there was also a lot of questions about the two in general. How did they meet? Did they know where one another lived? Did they know each other’s full names or what they looked like? The answer to most of these was no. Eiji and Ash didn’t talk about the surface personal things. But, they had shared pictures of themselves once before.

“So he knows what you look like?” Yut-Lung had asked, looking very interested.

“Yes?” Eiji had responded, feeling like he was missing something from the look in Yut-Lung’s eyes. But it was never explained.

As odd as it all was, Eiji was mostly just happy that he was finally getting through to Yut-Lung. And sometimes even without Sing around. Eiji was finally allowing himself to believe that maybe their friendship could survive past the semester.

So, when Yut-Lung invited him and Sing to lunch after yet another horrible statistics class, it wasn’t a surprise. Eiji cheerfully packed up his things and they headed out, walking to a simple cafe. It wasn’t Yut-Lung’s style but, having gone to lunch with Eiji and Sing, two horribly broke normal college students, he’d learned to adapt.

Today, Sing was very excited for some reason. Even Yut-Lung allowed a small smile as they walked along the sidewalk of busy lunch rush Manhattan. When Eiji had asked them about it, however, they brushed it off, leaving Eiji a bit put off. He frowned, but allowed them to continue on, walking without conversation.

When they arrived at the cafe, they approached the line and Eiji scanned the menu above the counter, outlined in chalk. Usually, Eiji just ordered a soup, but he might go for a sandwich today.

Eiji was standing directly behind someone who was taller than him, with a yellow hoodie and purple mohawk. It was a pretty cool mohawk, but Eiji knew better than to stare, so he shifted to the side in order to look up at the menu. The movement, though, was enough to bring the guy’s attention to him.

His eyes lit up as he took him in. When Eiji noticed, he looked behind him, wondering if it only looked as though the stranger looked… excited. To see… him. Eiji, however, didn’t find anything behind him to warrant the reaction. When he turned back, the guy was giving Sing a thumbs up. “Heya, Sing.”

“Shorter, what’s up, man?” Sing asked, looking behind and around the guy for a second, as if for something specific. Something missing.

“Nothing much. Just stopping by for lunch with my bud,” Shorter said, and somewhere in Eiji’s mind the name sounded familiar. Maybe Sing had mentioned him before? “He stepped into the bathroom, but he’ll be back.”

“Perfect,” Sing said. And that was a weird thing to say. But then Eiji’s phone buzzed and, for a second, he hoped it was a text from Ash, until the buzzing continued, signaling it was a call. He slipped it out of his pocket, checking the caller ID.

“Crap,” he cursed, pressing answer immediately. “Hi, Ibe. I’m sorry; I forgot I said I’d help you today. I’m on my way right now.”

Listening to Ibe’s reply, Eiji nodded, reassuring the man it was no big deal - that he could make it. He hurried to get off the phone, embarrassed at his blunder, and ready to rush over as quickly as he could.

When he did get off the phone, he turned to apologize to his friends. He was surprised to find they were already standing, watching him. Sing looked a little panicked. Even his friend Shorter looked like he had swallowed something whole, the uncomfortable feeling stuck in his throat. Eiji, however, didn’t have time.

“I’m really sorry, guys. I totally forgot I had something scheduled.”

Yut-Lung, ever the quickest and most snappish, immediately spoke up. “Now. It has to be now?”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys,” Eiji said, already backing away and checking the time. He could make it if he hurried. The shoot would be starting soon. “Bye, guys!”

And, with that, he darted out the door.

When Ash came out of the bathroom, he took in the scene. Shorter, Sing, who he hadn’t expected to see there, and one other guy he didn’t know, staring blankly out the door, a large empty gap between them and the register, and the employee behind it looking irritatedly their way.

“What did I miss?” he asked.

-/-

Ash was content to scroll through his phone for the rest of the day if he could. Over and over again through the same five photos. Because Eiji had uploaded new pictures to his blog, and Ash loved Eiji’s photography. It had been the reason he’d first found Eiji’s blog, spamming his own with reblogs enough that Eiji had actually reached out to say thank you. It had been a little embarrassing, but one of the best decisions of his life. If he hadn’t gone all stalker mode on Eiji’s beautiful photos, they probably would have never talked and then where would Ash be?

Not only were the photos beautiful, though, but they were completely new. Since coming to university in America, Eiji hadn’t posted anything. These were the very first, and they were of a city so alike New York that Ash held onto the tiniest hope that it was. Hence, why he seemed to determined to stare at them all day. Why he scanned them for anything familiar; why he took in every detail he could. It was a stretch. He knew that. There were plenty of cities Eiji could have gone for university. But it didn’t stop that incessant little hope.

One picture was of a tree in a city park, framed with green grass below and grey buildings above. Another was of a bakery display, the colors of each pastry popping with Eiji’s brilliant use of angles and light. Ash didn’t know much about photography, but just by how pleasing it was to the natural eye, he could tell Eiji was good.

“Let’s go out to lunch,” Shorter said.

“Are we going all the way across town again?” Ash asked. When Shorter hummed, Ash sighed. “You own a restaurant. Why do you want to go so far to grab a sandwich?”

“We don’t serve sandwiches!” Shorter protested. Ash continued to examine the photo he was on for the umpteenth time, committing it to memory. It was a street corner. No street signs. It actually looked like a dump, to be honest. It showed an alley with some trash and crumbling brick walls, but the color in the setting sun was vibrant. The red of the bricks and paleness of the sidewalk. Somehow, Eiji had directed a unique lens on the scene, as if he was looking on it all with a tender gaze. How he could see the alley with such tenderness mystified and enthralled Ash.

“The place up the street serves sandwiches,” Ash responded absently. The picture was so like New York. Ash hoped it was New York.

Maybe he should just ask Eiji…

No. That was a horrible idea. Why would Eiji trust him with that information? He was just some random dude online.

“I told Sing I’d meet him after his class, though,” Shorter argued and Ash sighed, giving up on the image for now. He put the phone in his pocket and stood up.

“Fine,” he conceded. Shorter whooped and they left. They took the bus and chatted a little. Shorter told him they were meeting Sing at a food stand, then heading to the park to meet with some of Sing’s friends. Ash grumbled a bit about meeting people, but mostly looked out the window for the ride, watching the Manhattan landscape slide past.

That was when he saw it.

He jumped to his feet, hand on the rope above their heads and calling for a stop. Shorter was already asking what the hell was up, but Ash just darted off the bus when it stopped, hoping his friend would just follow. He couldn’t explain until they were there. He didn’t want to say his suspicions out loud until he knew for sure.

It probably wasn’t anyway. He was getting his hopes up.

Ash ran until he stopped in front of an alley beside a shoe store. It wasn’t sunset, the trash had shifted and changed a bit, but, if he stood just so. Yes. That was it.

“He’s in New York,” Ash breathed.

That was when Shorter caught up. “What the hell, man?” he yelled, out of breath, but Ash was still standing, transfixed.

He was right. Eiji was here. He was right.

But he still couldn’t bring himself to tell his friend. Suddenly, the knowledge felt too big, too much. It was real, so real, but it was too big for him to speak of. Shorter was his best friend, but he couldn’t bring himself to share his elation.

Because this brought on a whole new dilemma. Was he going to say something to Eiji?

“Ash, come on dude,” Shorter begged now. “I told Sing we’d be there. His friends are going to be waiting at the park.”

But Ash shook his head. “I’m not going.”

“What?” Shorter asked, voice suddenly strangled.

“I have to go,” Ash said, tearing his eyes away from the alley.

“But- Ash!” Shorter protested, but Ash was already walking away. He felt his friend keeping pace beside him, hand gestures wide and voice incredulous, demanding to know what was up, trying to persuade him to turn around, to come with him. Ash shook his head again and again.

In the end, he got Shorter to go without him. He had told Sing he’d meet up with him; he should go.

When Ash boarded the bus headed back to their end of town, Shorter cursed.

“Damn it,” he sighed, watching the bus pull away.

That night, Eiji posted a picture of a park full of people and a grey sky.

-/-

“I’m getting real tired of their shit,” Sing stated one evening when the three of them - him, Yut-Lung, and Shorter - met up.

“You’re getting tired?” Yut-Lung cried. “You don’t have to deal with them directly. Do you know how many times Eiji has looked the wrong way at the wrong time? Had to run off? Been lost in his thoughts? They’ve stood three feet apart on the subway and there was nothing I could do to get them to actually see each other!”

“And they haven’t even been texting each other all that much lately,” Shorter said. “I ask about Eiji and Ash gets really weird these days.”

“Do you think they know?” Sing asked, looking alarmed. Sure, that was their goal, but they’d worked so hard for it to be a surprise.

“Eiji is oblivious. I ask him constantly for updates on Ash. He doesn’t tell me much either, but he does say enough that I know he doesn’t get how close they are.” Yut-Lung said, flicking a piece of hair out of his face.

Shorter just shrugged. “Like I said, Ash gets weird when I ask about Eiji. I don’t know anything.”

“You don’t think something happened between them?” Sing asked, looking back and forth between Yut-Lung and Shorter, gauging their reactions. The two looked at each other, frowning.

“Time for more sleuthing?” Shorter asked. Yut-Lung gave a flat look, then shook his head.

“I say we continue. Seeing each other’s stupid faces will be enough to solve whatever petty feud they have.”

“Our plans aren’t exactly working though,” Sing pointed out, to which Yut-Lung sent a less than pleased look.

“It’s time for a more direct route then,” he said, whipping out his phone. “I am done with this scheme.”

-/-

Eiji: Hey! How are you today?

Eiji spent a tremendous amount of time looking at their chat after sending this message before giving up and putting his phone away. He looked out the window of his apartment, noting the soft light and gentle sky. It really was picturesque. It was one of the reasons he had gotten the apartment, other than the fact that it was close by the university and was kind of affordable-ish. He wasn’t in the mood for photography at the moment, though.

It had been a week since he’d had a real conversation with Ash. He supposed it wasn’t that long, really. He didn’t even contact home weekly. But, when it came to Ash, the absence was like an ache in his chest - in his heart.

He tried to reassure himself that it was just because Ash was busy. It was close to midterms, after all. It wasn’t anything Eiji had done. It wasn’t… right? Or, worse, Ash couldn’t have been getting tired of him?

Eiji shook his head, ridding his mind of the thoughts. It wouldn’t do him any good to lose himself in them. Instead, he stood and grabbed his camera bag and wallet, heading for the door. Maybe he was in the mood for photography. Just not here.

He wanted to calm down and forget the world through the lens of his camera. He wanted to stretch his legs throughout the city of New York. New York was beautiful, from its most beautiful buildings to its most rundown alleys. Everything there had character, had a story, and Eiji wanted to discover that story.

So, swinging his camera bag over his shoulder, Eiji stepped into his shoes by the door. He shrugged on his cardigan, patted himself down for his keys and phone - his hand rested on his phone, imagining the annoying chime lighting up his day with a reply from Ash.

He hoped he heard from Ash soon.

Then Eiji stepped out the door. Before he even heard the thump and click of it shutting behind him, before he could turn to lock it up and be headed on his way-

Eiji saw black.

-/-

Ash wasn’t putting up with this shit. He didn’t know why Blanca was even here, but it was bullshit that he could still subdue Ash so easily. When he came to in a strange place - elaborate decor, but not of the fashion Ash was used to; he really had no idea where he was - he was fuming when he saw Blanca’s face first. The bastard had made the mistake of leaving him unbound, though, and he was about to learn exactly how much of a mistake that was-

But then-

“What the hell, Yut-Lung?” a familiar voice exclaimed and Ash’s head snapped in its direction. Shorter was walking into the room, straight for Ash. “This is not what I had in mind when you said a more direct route.”

“This way there’s no chance for them to not see each other.”

“You’re insane,” Shorter stated, turning back to him suddenly, but Yut-Lung just rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to squabble further until Blanca cleared his throat, silencing them both.

“He’s awake,” Blanca announced. They both turned suddenly to Ash.

“Ash!” Shorter exclaimed, rushing up to him. “Are you hurt?”

Instead of answering, Ash blinked once. Then twice. “Shorter,” he said. “What. The. Fuck.”

“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know that bastard was gonna-”

“Excuse me?” Yut-Lung exclaimed from not too far away. Shorter turned back ready to argue again. While they were arguing, Ash had a short stare down with a blatantly unamused Blanca. He sat forward in the chair he had been thrown into, a simple fold-out one - not very comfortable.

That’s when a new voice joined the mix. And this one was one Ash had never heard before. He turned toward the door where two figures had come in, Sing and another boy, looking groggy and rubbing at his head. Ash furrowed his brow, examining the boy. Something about him looked familiar.

“What’s going on?”

All faces turned toward him. All went silent. Then, there was a lot of back and forths, shaking heads. They seemed to be looking between him and the boy. Ash, puzzled, looked again at the other.

The boy, too, seemed to catch on, looking to where everyone else was, and his eyes connected with Ash’s. Suddenly, Ash could piece together why the boy looked so familiar. How could he have not seen it before? This was- This was-

“Eiji?” Ash asked, incredulous. Eiji’s eyes widened and something clicked in his eyes too.

“Ash!” he said, rushing forward. Ash leaped up just in time to catch Eiji in his arms. “Oh my gosh! How are you here?”

“How are you here?” Ash asks back, setting Eiji back down to look at him, to really take in the fact that he was here - right in front of him. Eiji still looks surprised, but he’s beaming up at him, laughing.

“I- I don’t-” he laughs, then turns back to Sing. Ash looks towards Sing too, one eyebrow raised, while Sing rapidly starts to turn dark and darker shades of red.

“It- it was Yut-Lung’s idea!” he exclaimed.

“You said it was fine!” Yut-Lung argued.

“You said what?” Shorter asked, looking betrayed.

“I thought he was joking!”

“Wait,” Eiji suddenly spoke up, and everyone looked over. He was looking right at Shorter. “You’re Sing’s friend from the sandwich shop!”

Everyone went silent. Shorter’s eyes went a little wide. Ash looked between them all, his own gaze landing on the one occupant in the room he probably knew the least.

And- that guy-

Yut-Lung must have noticed his stare, because he looked toward him with a raised brow. He looked like he was waiting for something.

Then, it clicked. Oh.

“Oh my god.”

“Twelve different attempts to have you two meet,” Yut-Lung said. “You’re welcome.”

Ash and Eiji looked at each other. Something seemed to pass through their gazes and they burst into laughter. The rest of the room looked on, Shorter smiling, Sing looking a little shocked. Yut-Lung sighed, but there was the smallest trace of a smile on his lips.

“Can I go?” Blanca asked from the corner.

#requests #asheiji #bf #banana fish

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thelazyenvironmentalist · 6 years ago

Text

So Now I’m Back, From Outer Space

(Kidding, but I did go to The Kennedy Space Centre and I’m obsessed.)

I stopped writing this blog over a year ago. The last two posts here weren’t even originally written for this page, but were op-eds for the school paper that I’d written, once I’d returned to university to finish my undergrad. You see, I’d left school for two years -- largely as a result of being able to reckon with what it meant to study at an institution that cared so little for my future, and that of my fellow students.

(For a backstory you can control+F “Divestment” and skim any number of pieces I’d vomited forth whilst desperate/angry/disillusioned with the lack of action said institution was taking on climate change.)

There are a myriad of reasons (is this the correct way to use “myriad”?) why I stopped writing as “The Lazy Environmentalist”. Not least among them was that, for a while, I wasn’t sure if I should be speaking up at all -- even if it was just to an audience of a casual dozen. As douchey and self-righteous as it sounds (is) I refer to myself as a climate justice activist or organizer, and a couple years back, I realized I was showing up to climate justice spaces in a pretty shitty way. I figured because I wanted to be there that I should be there. I thought that because I wanted to speak up that I should speak up-- somehow not realizing that my being there meant that I was taking the place of someone else, or that in speaking up I was speaking over other voices. I needed to learn to be quiet. Not silent necessarily, not absent by any means, but simply more aware of my surroundings-- who was missing because I was taking their space, who wasn’t being heard, because I’m so fucking noisy.

In this way, it was good that I took a break from writing for a little while, because it helped me to see that sometimes (most of the time) my voice isn’t the one that needs to be heard-- especially when it comes to discussions regarding climate change and climate justice.

I also need to acknowledge that because this whole exercise is largely self-indulgent, when I stopped writing I was really just letting myself off the hook. This blog, like it says in that gross yellow font at the top of the page, exists so I can hold myself to account, and that still rings true. Did I pull out my laptop in a frenzy tonight because I’ve decided that I once again need to stuff my trash in a mason jar and make my mom feel bad for taking me to restaurants that send home leftovers in styrofoam? No-- behaving like that was pointless at best, and harmful otherwise. Me toting around my trash in an instagrammable jar does nothing to reduce the amount of plastic choking a baby Laysan Albatross, and my saint of a mother doesn’t need to carry the guilt of the lack of plastic materials regulation around on her shoulders simply because I don’t feel like finishing my zimarika at our favourite Greek restaurant.

No. When I say this blog exists to hold me to account I mean that the act of writing is one of the best things I can do when it comes to working against the forces driving climate change. Not because anyone reads this-- we’ve already established no one save my big sister (hey, Kayla) does-- but because its through writing that I force myself to sit with my thoughts and digest the literal constant deluge of terrible news about human-inflicted damage on the planet and all of its inhabitants. When I stopped writing I gave myself permission to be intellectually lazy (not cute, contrary to my chosen moniker). When I say I’ve been in a cognitive fog the last few years I’m not even being that obnoxiously hyperbolic-- I honestly feel like I’ve retreated into a world of podcasts and quickly skimmed news articles-- I’ve eschewed my own ideas and feelings because when things are as desperately, existentially terrifying as they are in the year of our lord (lol, there is no God) 2019, its easier to let someone else, someone smarter, tell you what to feel, what to worry about, and how to think. I think when I opened my laptop 21 minutes ago it was on a whim that maybe thats not what’s best for me anymore. I think if I want to devote my time, my brain, my heart to saving what I can of my home that I need to push myself to dig a little deeper into the recesses of the ole’ lobes (ew?) and try to figure out why I’m here, doing this fucking work in the first place, and also what I fucking mean when I say “this work”. “This work” sounds vague and self-aggrandizing and I’m in a time of my life where I think I need specifics and tangibilities.

Finally, I stopped writing as “The Lazy Environmentalist” because I wasn’t sure . if that’s who I was anymore. I’m definitely a fucking lazy individual-- even at this moment I’m lying in bed at a somewhat cramped and awkward angle because I can’t be bothered to shift myself into a seated position (lol @ the misfortune of my neck). However, I don’t like the idea of letting myself take the easy way out because I’ve accepted that I am fundamentally a lazy person. Is my aversion to accepting my habitual sluggishness perhaps rooted in questionable puritanical christian societal values? Like, ya probably. Does that mean that it’s a good thing to watch 6 hours of Criminal Minds and tell myself that its okay to buy that dress from Zara because there’s no such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism, so fuck it? No. Obviously. Criminal Minds is gross (though Reid is still hella cute) and fast fashion is terrible for both people and planet (so props to me for actually putting that dress back on the rack last week even though I didn’t look terrible in it and honestly I could use another shapeless sack in my wardrobe).

As for the “Environmentalist” part of “The Lazy Environmentalist”I also feel more than a little weird about that too. The term is fucking loaded, and carries a lot of terrible history with it. The environmental movement has and still does a really god-awful job of caring about people (despite people being animals - woah who’s really eschewing anthropocentrism now, Tim*?!) But for real, forgetting the fact that from the purely cold, calculating, strategic reality that we can’t save the planet unless we have more people on board with the concept, and that we can’t do that effectively if we don’t speak to those in marginalized communities (those always most at risk to climate catastrophe) environmentalism has been not only ineffective and alienating for a fuck-ton of people over the decades-- environmentalists have been intensely harmful to people -- there are still environmentalists who think the best use of our time is to devastate Northern Communities by rallying against the seal hunt, and pushing veganism in communities that it simply doesn’t make sense for from a cultural/historical/geographic standpoint. Old school preservationist environmentalism is based in super gross settler ideas of manifest destiny, and protecting an “untouched” wilderness, ignoring the fact that Inuit, Anishnaabe, Mi’kmaq, Tsleil-Waututh, Cree, and hundreds of other Indigenous Nations lived QUITE HARMONIOUSLY on this land for EONS (and still do) before we settlers got here, thought of ourselves as separate from the land, parcelled it up, sold it off, decided to ~protect~ a fraction because God said so or whatever, and generally started fucking shit up.

So yeah, the term Environmentalist kind of makes me feel uneasy, as it should, because it carries with it a history of violence-- a history that is still being perpetuated today.

That being said, the term environmentalist also makes me think of my Grandma (cute, right?) I don’t necessarily think she would have considered herself an environmentalist, but she was the single most compassionate, loving person I’ve ever known, and yes I idolize her and hold her to a standard that no one else will ever meet but that’s okay, because she was my Grandma and I’m supposed to think she was perfect and magic. I mention my Grandma (her name was Lecetta) because she’s who made my into a little lazy environmentalist. She took me on trips to see Manatee rehab centres in Florida, walks through the Carolinian forest near her house, and swimming in Lake Huron. On the days we were inside we watched PBS nature documentaries and read books about wildlife in North America and on Saturday mornings she’d sit with me as I sobbed during WWF infomercials in what I realize now was a pretty weird weekly self-flagellation ritual. What I’m trying to say with this bizarre tangent is that the term “environmentalist” still holds some pretty earnest intention for me, and I’m remiss to entirely abandon the roots of what compels me to defend our home.

So, circling back to what I’d initially tried to start saying with this post- I think I’m going to start writing here again. I think I’m going to see if this helps me be the sort of person I want to be: the still sometimes lazy, but still earnest environmentalist- trying to figure out what my place is- in the movement, in my community, on the planet, and simply within myself.

*There’s no one named Tim

#climate change #climateaction #climate crisis #climate justice

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robbfrankland · 6 years ago

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1-30 go go go

1. How old were you the first time you fell in love?

I think 13 lol bless me

2. Name the first person who broke your heart

sophie

3. How many different best friends have you had in your life?

five I think

4. Do you have a best friend?

I have two!

5. Do you have any specific talent?

Guitar, drums, I’m getting a lot better at singing. I’m excellent at making cocktails.

6. Do you fit into any stereotypes?

Not really actually, I guess punk rock dad, without being a dad

7. What’s your sexuality?

Bisexual

8. What’s your favorite animal?

I think it’s finally time to address the fact that over the past couple of years a great shift has occurred in my life and I am now, unbelievably, a cat person.

9. What are your favorite pet names?

I’d love to be called darling but nobody ever has. I like sweetheart as well. I’m soft.

10. What do you think love is?

love is life itself and all-encompassing of emotions, we feel it constantly in different amounts. It’s like heat... coldness isn’t a thing in itself it’s a lack of heat energy. Hate is a lack of love.

11.When did you discover your favorite band?

2014 I think? Yeah. It’s Counterparts by the way.

12. Do you want to get married?

Big YES I’m going to be a groomzilla

13. Do you want to have kids?

Yes I get VERY broody lol

14. When did you have your first kiss?

uhhh year 7! Cuuuuuute. Hey @ Rowan kiss me again babe you’re adorable.

15. How did you lose your virginity?

Ahaha I was 14 and we were messing around and it just happened and then she finished and rolled over and said “oh shit I’ve just shagged you...” hahaha we’re still quite good friends

16. Have you been cheated on?

Uh-huh! Not fun :)

17. How many times have you fallen in love, requited or not?

hahaha pass me the calculator

18. Have you ever rejected anyone?

yeah last time I did I got slapped lmao dramatic

19. Have you ever cheated?

it depends on whether you consider the fact that I tried to break up with the person I 'cheated' on and she completely refused to acknowledge it

20. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

Yeah the first time I believe I was in love tbh she was and still is an absolute sweetheart (u follow me lets chat)

21. Do you prefer the romantic or sexual aspects of relationships?

romantic, i’m a fuckin water sign what can I say

22. What’s your favorite thing about your significant other?

he’s really good at catching tennis balls and he never bites

23. Do you have a significant other?

yeah even better he’s got a tail!

24. What’s your favorite thing about your best friend?

Liv is the most intuitive person I’ve ever known, she gives perfect advice which is always always correct and she is a joyful beaming ray of soulful sunshine. We connect on so many levels, my platonic soulmate. Nic is the best conversationalist, always listens and invests in a conversation and gives a very insightful and well constructed opinion, a very eloquent man amongst his other qualities that make him so very interesting, intelligent, funny and charming.

25. Do you want a significant other?

I do but also I think I need to improve my relationship with myself and my family first.

26. Do you like anyone?

I have little crushes, I have a slightly larger more prominent crush, and then there’s the fact that I am somewhat sexually attracted to almost all of my friends. Not in a weird way though guys don’t worry I don’t wank over your selfies. x

27. Who was the last person you loved?

soph

28. Do you have a celebrity crush?

Alison Brie, Antoni Porowski, Natalia Dyer

29. Name a song that makes you want to fall in love

Symphony of Skin by I The Mighty

30. Do you think you’ll be happy later in life?

Damn right I do I fuckin deserve it anyways

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suryanwesha · 3 years ago

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Hard to choose from all those questions haha. But here it goes 100, 83, 82, 76, 71, 55, 48, 42, 37, 28, 26

Las~🥺 thank you so so much for stopping by and sending me these asks!! I'll now see how much you got into my business lol 😂 since it's long, I'll add the 'keep reading' cut!

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

I think all my secrets are getting out tonight! Annyeong my well-hidden secrets~

So this happened in 2018 ig (or maybe at the end of 2017), I got into a fight with my ex and I was pretty pissed off so on impulse I got dressed and went out of dorm alone at night (not really late though). And my dormmates were asking where I am going but I just showed them my angry face and said idk. After going out, I wandered around the streets for a bit and then went to a restaurant. There I ate one full plate of crispy chicken (that had like 20 something pieces of large chunks of chicken nuggets kinda thing) and a tall glass of cold coffee.

Now the actual thing is that my anger had subsided while I was getting dressed and I was just left sad. So when I went to the restaurant I thought of taking a takeout BUT I changed my mind bcs if I took it back to dorm I had to share it with everyone. So I just ate all of it alone! Sorry my chingus, I lied and ate all the chicken without sharing even a single piece (╥﹏╥)

83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?

Nope. I did apply glue on my palm to relish on the fun of peeling it off! But never glued my hand to anything else.

82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?

If the question is about the dreams we dream after falling asleep then probably not. But I have had daydreams about marrying my crushes and of course BTS members lol.

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't?

Multiple times, lmao🤣 the most common would be eating fast foods. But also on a more serious note, I have answered and talked to my first ex even though I told myself that I won't and I shouldn't.

71. Have you ever been lost?

Mentally, yes. I am lost rn in case of where my life is right now. But on a materialistic way, I got lost once but I was with my family. So we all got lost together lol, trying to get out of a village for a long time during night. 😵‍💫

55. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Not really. But I have sat down or just stayed standing for long time and watched them go by, and tried to figure out which cloud resembled which shape. Watching the clouds go by is so fascinating. It reminds me that we are moving with the earth at such great speed, not once stopping, just advancing.

48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

The answer is sadly, no. I never got to skip school since I used to stay in hostel. 🥲

42. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?

Yes, many times. My high school teacher, my classmate... anime characters🤧

37. Have you ever been dumped?

Nope! I am a somewhat calculative person, so I always make sure that the other person has feelings for me before confessing mine. But, also, I have never proposed someone. I have been proposed to. So, I guess that saved me from the pain of getting dumped lol

28. Favorite ice cream?

Chocolate and milk bar, sundae and mango ice cream!

26. What's one thing you regret?

Out of all the things if I have to choose one then I would say getting into my first relationship... I was young and a poor judge of character - both mine and my ex's. If I hadn't then probably I would have figured out a lot of things about myself and probably, just probably, I would have been at a better place...

I had a really great time thinking about the answers, haha. Thank you again Las, for this love!🥺 Love you 💜🌼

#las(｡♡‿♡｡)#shrimpmsg #moot alert #ask game #answered

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ainaindou · 7 years ago

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1feb2018

gosh executive dysfunction is gonna kill everything i try to do whether out of love, passion, or necessity. even projects where i am invested 100% voluntarily slowly decay in my hands due to the lack of a drive, and it’s so disappointing.

spotify is probably the best thing ive ever subscribed to 10/10 would recommend

concerning pasts. i’m not sure if i’m healing at all or just just really good at slapping another bandage on. most days it’s all very numb and it feels as if i’m merely processing information as an observer from the outside, sifting through memories and “feelings” that are definitely mine, yet they don’t seem to really affect me anymore. rare moments come when i have more time and quiet and suddenly my mind spins into overdrive and suddenly i’m me again, which is great but also feels immensely awful bc those “feelings” turn from cold information back into actual active ongoing emotions- god knows how awfully i process those things.

considering the amount of failed attempts at securing a traditional career path it’s probably time to explore other alternative options but i have no real idea where to start. i could idle where i am a bit with no real issue but boy my parents are fking annoying about their passively suggested disapprovals concerning many different aspects of my decisions despite all the support they claim to have.

concerning present. context is actually super important and there’s never really enough. a habit of mine, for comfort and ease of mind i love to set clear and concrete definitions as to what certain relationships between myself and other people, and lock it as such inside my head. but relationships are organic and they grow and change and even sometimes decay. so it happens a bit too often that suddenly something happens that’s completely out of my expectation and calculations one way or another and i have to redefine exactly what is my standing with another person. sometimes adaptation is very easy and of little consequence, but other times, the complete relationship becomes rotten due to this. part of it is on me, whether or not i want to invest further energy to try and salvage a disconnect. part of it is on the other side, whether they want to be patient with me or not. as a side, i’ve only met two people in my life so far that share my exact social dynamic, one in which we can comfortably hold our relationship in indefinite stasis for whatever length of silence just so happens to transpire between us, and then easily pick up momentum wherever we left off and develop things mutually at our convenience. that’s super precious to me, and very comforting to be fairly honest since i know i’m not the only one who functions in this way.

i’m not super sure what my next big purchase will be. i do want a full-powered workstation/gaming rig, and i also want a cintiq. but i’m functioning fine with the tools i have right now. i could finally invest in the doll collection i’ve been thinking of, but where the fuck to i even start lol. my living arrangements are very temporary anyways and to invest in a physical item collection right now might not be the best.

i’ve migrated partially from tea to coffee. not like a full migration, but more like i just guzzle both now 24/7. tea at work and coffee everywhere else.

concerning future. ambitions grows slightly dimmer every year bc reality becomes more concrete. there’s also a really weird thing where i “know” what is optimal to pursue, but the arbitrary scale of effort vs reward makes it so that i don’t bother to optimize. this is a statement that applies to so many aspects of my life, and the end result is my life is mediocre. not great, but not horrible. vaguely i thought about seeing if i wanna find a way to become a tattoo artist bc for one thing im super interested in meeting and working with (on) people that normally wouldn’t be in my field of sociability. in any other context ofc i wouldn’t even bother bc my social energy level is like below negative but anyways i should look into that. it’s something, at least.

about actual romantic relationships. it almost feels weird to me that i have any sort of experience at all. and it also feels super alien to me (for most part) that i even care about this aspect of my life still. predominantly, i can’t be bothered. i spend almost all of my available effort and energy just barely holding myself and my life together and afloat, how the fuck am i gonna even be able to spare some for another whole living breathing person? my emotional state is super stale too, and it’s not like i have a desire or desperate need for intimacy (quite the opposite sometimes). yet, i think my own situation is somewhat akin to having acquired the taste of a forbidden fruit. i know what i could have, and i crave it so. even full well knowing how poisonous it most likely could become. my past experiences all ended up kinda suck, and i always kinda hate the things i did/didn’t do that made it that way. (except the very first one. we were young and completely naive and stupid some of what she did was fucked up too lmfao so) i kinda crave a very simple sort of distant intimacy and i have n o fucking idea how to describe or define what i want or if anyone else in the world is compatible with what i’m looking for. language fails me for sure bc i’ve tried at least once with this definition with someone else and the end result was we both figured out we said and agreed on the same words but we had very different definitions. our original friendship has been strangled also as a result. which is one other thing that i am exasperated with myself for.. it’s pretty much impossible for me to consider an intimate relationship of any kind with someone unless there’s a pre-existing friendship as a foundation. yet in the pursuit of a deeper relationship it just puts the friendship at risk and i don’t know if this is ever worth it. should i just be happy with the friendship now and like not fuck up shit again? is this also parallel to my tendency to not pursue optimization in my life? but friendship isn’t a mediocre thing either. super confusing and will require further thoughts definitely

ashmute has godly music for whatever’s left of my soul i hope they make another album soon bc there’s not enough.

my nose bothers the fuuuck out of me. not appearance wise, but the fact that the cartilage inside just isn’t properly attached to my skull and so slips off-center all the fucking time but idk if i wanna get surgical procedure done either. same thing about lasik bc i’m actually tired of glasses but laser eye surgery is not perfect and my vision is invaluable to me and my livelihood. idk idk idk.

anyway.

#journal

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shift-shaping · 7 years ago

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Top Five vs. Bottom Five Meme

Rules: tag the person who tagged you, always post the rules, answer the questions, and add the date

What are your five most popular works? What are your five least popular works? Are you surprised? Why? Optional: If you want to calculate this, what are your works’ average number of notes? Today’s date, so you can see how your results might change if you do this again in a year.

Tag six people to do this next!

I was tagged by @tel-abelas-mofo and @nerdanel01 :D

I’m pretty sure Ket already tagged everyone who posts stories on tumblr. Maybe @ladylike-foxes??? have you been tagged?

Top Five

1) Or the Wolf’s Gonna Blow it Down (Ellian Lavellan x Solas) - 66 notes

Solas lets his darker self take over when Ellian tempts him, going so far as to ‘roleplay’ as Fen’Harel and test his own dominant side. (Explicit)

2) You Will Recover (Yvelle Lavellan x Solas) - 49 notes

An assassination attempt on Yvelle’s life forces Solas to confront his feelings for her. (Mature)

3) Lonely Elf in the Corner (Eirwen Surana x Solas) - 48 notes

Solas pays beautiful exotic dancer and good friend Eirwen to give him a ‘private dance’ -it does not go as well as he hoped. (Mature)

4) From the Beginning (Yvelle Lavellan x Solas) - 43 notes

Yvelle is small enough that staying anywhere alone gets cold fast. Thankfully, she doesn’t need to be alone for very long. (General)

5) Lady Solas (Ellian Lavellan x F!Solas) - 38 notes

Sort-of self-explanatory: what would Solas be like as a woman? (General)

Bottom Five

1) Croak (Yvelle Lavellan x Solas) - 1 note

The age difference between Solas and Yvelle makes Varric uncomfortable enough to comment -which Solas happens to overhear. (General)

2) The Rabbit - 1 note

Inspired by Alice in Wonderland, this story explores a young Surana’s early relationship with the Fade and its more... questionable inhabitants. (General)

3) Escape (OC x OC) - 1 note

Part of the ‘Parentage’ series. After having her life threatened, Eirwen’s mother, Nia, flees Rivain for Kirkwall with the help of a handsome, mischievous Dalish man. (Mature)

4) The Seer - 2 notes

Part of the ‘Parentage’ series. This story follows Eirwen’s mother, Nia, as she seeks the help of the High Seer of Dairsmuid for advice on how to handle her unwanted pregnancy. (Mature)

5) The Better of Us (Eirwen Surana x Solas) - 2 notes

A mission in the Western Approach quickly finds Surana and Solas in great danger, surrounded by enemies and with only each other to rely on. (Mature)

Are you surprised? Why?

The bottom five do not surprise me. Three of them are very old and focus on Surana’s backstory, with particular emphasis on her poor mother. The only romance in these stories is between two OCs. Croak is a more recent story, but was posted along with much more popular stories and so was likely overlooked. The Better of Us is not explicit and is mostly an adventure story, which traditionally lag behind in notes. It also has a shitty title.

My most popular story is not surprising, as it seems to fill a fairly common kink for Solas. Personally, I feel this story and ‘Lady Solas’ are both very weak, as the former is somewhat OOC for Solas and the later is more or less a copy of the in-game script. So while I’m not surprised, I am a bit... annoyed lol.

You Will Recover and From the Beginning are both pretty classic Solavellan fluff, so their success isn’t very surprising. Both of these are great and I’m happy with how they’ve done. I’m definitely most proud of Lonely Elf in the Corner, as it is the only one in my top five with Surana and I put a lot of work into it. In general, that series is doing very well and I’m so happy with how it’s coming along!

Overall, this is encouraging. I have a relatively large body of work here, most of which have between 10 and 30 notes. This is great, but of course I would love more notes, particularly on the works I have with Surana x3

Average number of notes: ~15

Today’s date: July 20 2017

#dragon age fic #solavellan #solas #lavellan #warden surana #dadrunkwriting #memes #very cool #this was definitely helpful #thanks for the tag!!!

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topicprinter · 8 years ago

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Edit: WOW! I can't believe how much traction this got - I'm so blessed that this resonated with all of you! I've been getting mad amounts of requests, phone calls, PM's, LinkedIn invites, and more. Feel free to connect with me on Twitter for more of this stuff. I'll definitely be following this up for you guys with a detailed post of how I did so well with business networking events due to the amount of requests I got for it. Thanks for the Reddit Gold, and thanks for being so supportive!Hi guys,I run a small/mid-sized web development & online marketing agency. I wanted to share my process that brought me from 0 customers to a solo-entrepreneur making about $120k/year with you all, because there are a lot of people out there looking to start a business or keep it going! I told some others in r/Entrepreneur that I would give a write up on how I used cold calls to get started and push through the first 2 years of beginning a business from nothing.I have since incorporated and grown a lot, and don't cold call very often. However, I still get into big companies through cold calls, and had a meeting last week with one of the biggest fish I've ever sat in front of as a result of a cold call - I just hate making them and so use this strategy infrequently. I love referrals and people calling me!Author’s note: I finished writing this post, and it is nearly 3,100 words. I put my heart and my soul into writing this for you guys. Maybe there is a person out there that will be inspired to take this even further than I did. If that is you, don’t forget to share! All glory to my savior Jesus Christ for leading me to where I am. Without God showing me the path, I couldn’t share it with you!First, the (short) story:I was an EMT and volunteer firefighter in California back in 2010. I was working in the emergency room of a hospital and had a really tough Monday - lots of death, blood, and more. I decided the only reason I wanted to be a firefighter was because of the retirement (residual) income. If I could do it faster another way, my mind just opened to it. Queue my brother-in-law coming back from a trip to the east coast and telling me about a business opportunity. I started selling websites for another company (which is a really terrible summary of what actually happened, but it's short).When I started, I didn't have ANY money to spare. I had about $5,000 worth of "emergency fund" that I could live on, and my wife worked and brought in about 1800/mo after taxes. Our bills cost about 3000/mo, so I needed to come up with at least 1200/mo to survive by selling websites. I ended up resorting to the only thing that costs no money: Cold Calls!TL;DR: Make cold calls, even if you're terrible like I was. Use my script (Link below). Record data. Follow up. Profit.The idea of picking up a phone and calling a stranger to solicit them to purchase something I was selling made me feel sick. I was also scared of the rejection, and justified my position with every "logical" argument that I could think of. But when you're on a time clock that ends in homelessness and starvation (or failure), you've got to man (or lady) up and do it.Some stats and info These are my statistics based on what I recorded. I don’t have excel spreadsheets of data to link… Only my company’s existence and some old notepads with my first call logs to prove these things, lol. My current URL is NextLevelWeb.com, though we are currently in the middle of a re-brand and the website may not be fully functional for anyone that goes to see it yet!I talked to a person about 70% of the time, so if you want to base my stats on actual people I talked to on a cold call, it’s actually 3.25%. This means that for every 100 conversations, I made 3.25 website sales. My conversion rate including non-answers was 2.5%. I counted all non-answers in my daily calls too.I tried to make 50 calls per day in a 4 hour time-frame, which calculates out to 250 calls/week (assuming Mon-Fri only). The actual number was around 150-200 in action, because I got lazy some days and hurt feelings other days. In addition, making follow-up calls (which don’t count towards these “50 calls per day”) got to be pretty time consuming eventually. Sometimes I’d make 15 of these in a day, and they took even more brainpower than a cold call sometimes due to them being a longer call.The best time to call was the hours of 9AM – 11:30. The hour of 10-11am was the best. I’d typically make calls from 8am-noon.My time to closing my first sale ended up being 2.5 months. I think the 17th call I made eventually led to my first sale. I made it in November, and it didn’t close until mid-January. I eventually shortened this cycle to 2 weeks - 1 month, but I really sucked at calls, talking to people on the phone, etc. at first, so I needed more time and more numbers to start. If this proves anything, you can be absolutely horrible at this like I was and still make it happen!In all the time I did calls, and it must’ve been thousands of them, I made 0 sales on the first call. I wasn’t trying to make them on the 1st call, which is a part of my process outlined below (small commitments leading to larger commitments).My market area is San Diego County, California. While there are a ton of big businesses here that make money, there are many small businesses that are 1-5 employees, and these people were who I was trying to target at the time.I was selling a website product for another company at this time (MLM/Network Marketing deal). The average ticket price was between $1,200 – 3,000 each, and my take was around 70% of that. So, assuming an average take-home of $1,050 (Which was common), that meant that each 100 dials would eventually net me about $2,625.Every time I was told “no,” I assigned a value to it. I’ll save you the math, but at first, each time I heard that word, it was worth about $10 to me. When I got going, each “no” was worth closer to $35 each, because every no led me to someone that says yes! Not every call ended in a yes or no – sometimes it was the dreaded “send me an e-mail and give me a week to think about it” which is not yes or no.I was closing the deal myself, because people wanted to know that they got to deal with me – The idea that I was some salesperson that wouldn’t care if the product I sold worked or not is an appalling idea to a business owner. They wanted to know I was their account manager, too, which is something I carry forward in my agency now. If a salesperson sells, they get to maintain the relationship and ensure the client is satisfied, too.Where I found my list to call:The local Chamber of Commerce websites. They always have a business directory that includes the business owner's name, their current website, the correct phone number, etc. Very good and current source of info, you can start local, and you can use the fact that you found them through the Chamber as a positive thing. Just search for the site on Google -- [city] + chamber of commerce (i.e. - San Diego Chamber of Commerce). Often times, there are 300-1,000 businesses right there, and every one of them has the business owner’s name, a phone number to call, and website address to investigate further.Local free/low-cost networking meetings/groups. I actually wasted a LOT of precious time at local meetup groups - most people were poor like me, and they were only looking to sell (not to buy or refer)! I found these through [http://ift.tt/1nANsPt. I’d actually recommend against going to these if you’re purely focused on trying to sell stuff. There are other, better networking events you can attend (I have an entire process for networking events that has made me even more than cold calling – maybe I’ll share that next?)!The local business directory book that gets delivered. You can even use one from last year.Local magazines delivered to communities.Googling things like “Chiropractors in 92008.” Some people have more money than others, and so I’d spend some time creating a list from googling a profession + zip code. Often times, it produces some decent results.How I qualified my list:This is going to be a bit specific to my niche, which was selling websites (and later online marketing services) to businesses. However, you can also qualify your list so that you are talking to more of the right people and spending less time calling/talking with the wrong people!I looked at their website. If the website looked old or had an old date at the bottom of the site (aka ©2012 when it's 2016), that was a good candidate for calling. If the website was newer, I'd pass on it (though if it was somewhat new, this was a good candidate for online marketing services).They had to be local places/people. I didn't want to be that call you get from an out-of-state number, because those calls get ignored. Local calls get answered.How I documented calls & results:A note on this: If you don't record who you called and what happened, you won't be able to follow up, and consequently won't make it anywhere. You need to be able to follow up on people and call numbers that didn't answer the first time or you’ll run out of decent numbers to call.I opened up a word doc on my computer, numbered a list, and copy/pasted the info if I found the info online or typed it in manually if it was from a magazine/directory/business card. My first notes were actually on a yellow legal pad. I'll get a pic of them, because I still have them somewhere, but digital is best. CRM systems are great, but it's more important to make the darn call and be marginally organized than to be highly organized and sit around doing CRM optimizationlike a poor idiot trying to avoid making his/her calls.I determined my KPI's (Key Performance Indicators) to be: # of calls made, # of people that answered, # of decision makers reached, # of requested call-backs or e-mails, # of appointments set, # of sales made. I made a mark next to the corresponding number on my list for each of these things occurring.I recorded the meaningful points of the conversation (aka what to remember if I talked to them again), and the next step. If they said “not right now,” I’d write to call back in 6 months. I didn’t call many of these people back.The Goal of a cold call and any necessary follow-up activity is to get to a Yes or to a No.Don’t try to convince people of your product’s value. That takes more effort and isn’t what you should be doing. Explaining is required, but convincing is something altogether different – I didn’t have the time or patience to try to show that there was value in a new website. If they didn’t see it, then they didn’t have any money or they were old-school and likely going to be tons of work to convince.Small commitments lead to larger commitments. I didn’t ask for the sale right away. I didn’t ask for an hour of their time. I didn’t ask for them to meet for coffee. I asked for 5 minutes of their time over the phone. If they liked what I had to say, then I’d ask for 30 minutes of their time to show.Don’t leave voice mails for people unless they know who you are. Only leave voice mails for follow-up calls.It is okay to call as often as 5 times per week (once per day), but only leave one voicemail per week in follow-up. It is safer to call only 2-3 times per week, and you should call less often as time goes on so you’re not annoying. I’d say up to 5 calls the first week, 3 calls in week 2, 2 calls in week 3, and 1 call per week after that for follow-up. Just a general set of guidelines.The most important concept I learned on my own: The Three BoxesPeople have three boxes in their head that need to be “checked off” before they will allow you to pass. The receptionist, the business owner, or the office manager will reject your call and not even give you an answer if you don’t give them these three critical pieces of information!– Your name. You don’t need to give your company name. Sometimes it’s even a bad thing if you give your company name. It doesn’t add credibility – It just tells me that I don’t know you. Most times, I’d only give my first name, and this was almost always fine.– How you found them. This tells them if you have something in common or not. If you found them in the Chamber of Commerce, for example, this tells them that you’re local and immediately differentiates you from a random cold call. Look to leverage anything you can to show that you are “like them.” If you can somehow connect on any level, you get a check on this box, because you seem human.– Why you’re calling (and it better not be to sell something!). This one is really the crux of why I am different. If I told someone that I was looking to sell them a website, they’d get rid of me as quickly as possible. “Ugh, not another sales call…” I needed to give them a different, but still valid, reason for calling. My reason was because I saw “a potential fit between our businesses, and was calling to talk to [insert name here] about it.”I do tell them what I am selling afterward, but once I addressed the third box in this new way, something magic happened. People started listening! I was no longer selling snake oil to make money, but was offering to talk about something that would be mutually beneficial. Often times, they would identify with me, and I would get people to give me respect and honest answers. Many times, the answer was still no, but I got my answer! And guess what? Sometimes the answer was yes and I made a sale!The Script (Finally)Link to the script in Google DocsUPDATE: Link to the conversation script in Google DocsHopefully by now, you have read this and can understand why my script is this way.How I followed upThere is a difference between following up and moving prospects forward. It’s a lot simpler than you might think – Start your follow-up call with a goal in mind, remembering that small commitments lead to larger commitments. For me, I always had the same goals in my prospect funnel:Cold callAsk for a 5 minute conversation (to determine if there is a fit)Schedule a 20-30 minute demo (even if it ends up being an hour… 20-30 minutes is easier to stomach for a “busy” business person)Ask for the sale after a website demonstration (Go over pricing – 3 pricing packages are important. Don’t do this for custom quotes… Custom quote requires a modified process from what I shared)Meet in person over coffee, buy their coffee, thank them for their business, get to know them and their company more, and ask for referrals.The end result (Recap)I went from being ~5 months from bankruptcy to making just over $120,000 by myself (using the same company I sold for as sub-contractors for the work, which their cut wasn’t included in the 120k) in my 2nd year of doing this. I also supplemented this work with focused business networking after a while, which is a whole other 3,000-word post in and of itself.A few final notesI made a commitment to making 50 calls per day, 5 days per week. I know others can supposedly bang out 100-300 calls a day, but I don’t know how you do it with any brain power. My brain power was gone after about 50 calls. I would make 50 calls in 4 hours or less. That is a good benchmark, especially when starting out. I was also given that advice by other successful sales professionals. A note is that I counted every time I dialed, whether I spoke to a person or got a voicemail.I bought a pack of small beads at Wal-Mart and put 50 of them into a cup. When I dialed a number, I would move 1 bead over. It was motivation once I was 30 calls in and didn’t want to finish. I even wrote cheesy motivating blurbs on the cups like “you can do it” and “keep going!” Whatever gets you to keep picking up the phone.Don’t let yourself get distracted. You will stop making calls – I guarantee it!Don’t start doing this without an emergency fund (shoutout to [r/PersonalFinance](http://ift.tt/1defSDb) in place. I recommend keeping 6 months of expenses in an emergency fund account. I needed mine to make it happen.You need to have the memory of a goldfish! You have to just forget or leave behind the negative experiences and focus on doing your best now. I did not get yelled at very often, which was due to the way I conducted calls (explained below), but it hurt a LOT when I did. Also, there were entire days that I failed on myself. A few times, I remember making less than 5 calls, putting on headphones and playing Elder Scrolls: Oblivion for 8 hours straight because I let a mean person get to me. Nothing against gaming, but this will kill your dreams – I was not okay with failing on my wife and potentially losing our home, but I failed that day. I would pick up and continue on the next day as if nothing happened – It’s a new day, and a new chance to succeed! Don’t get down on yourself for failures.Feel free to post any questions you may have in the comment section. I will answer them as best I can. If you want me to do an AMA on building a marketing agency from scratch down the road, I can if the mods want me to do it.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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