#but i am a sucker and tried to romance her every game only to have my heart crushed into a pulp

[yugocar]

emily is away part 35 game dev still wont let me marry emily and be gay. homophobia :(

[miusato]

I was wondering, do you have a ranking for Kotone ships? I assume Shinjiham is number 1, but I'm curious since you mentioned you liked them all

HMMMM maybe? I mean like I pretty much like all kotone ships since I'm biased and I like her althoughhh honestly some ships I just see more on platonic side but I salute anyone that ships her with a rare pair (provided its just not something entirely weird or borderline illegal lol)

Anyway, here's pretty much my ranking and thoughts for each ships lol:

1) Shinjiham - First of all, god Atlus doesnt FUCK AROUND with his SL route and it's so out of their fucking mind for Atlus to not let the girlies write for the romances in other persona ever again cuz WHAT THE FUCK???? They really fucking cook with his and Ryoji's SL its fucking sweet yet so tragic I just cant fucking take it anymoreeee 😭😭😭 and it fucking hurts me that even when you ended up not dating him, you can clearly see just how in love he is with Kotone like fuck man it hurtss

I am just such a sucker for the broody bf x cheery gf trope but they had me in my tits when they laced it with angst it had me bawling by the end of it. I really appreciate how in femc's route we finally get to see his true character like god before P3R we really only know him as that mean looking guy with a tragic broody past and he tries to make things right before its too late but we dont also see him trying to be better other than tiny mentions of it so when he is gone we dont feel bad other but P3P hooo boyyy shits fucked me up I miss him I miss my wife and even when I get to save him, even when he finally gains the reason to survive and have meaning to live, when the person that gives him that reasoning is gone, it fucking hits me like a truck man and that truck decides to reverse and run me over again. Absolutely spectacular shipping 11/10 dont fucking do that ever again Atlus I have inherited hypertension from my dad

2) Akiham - This is actually my initial otp before I blasted and fried my brain with foolmoon content. I was actually surprised to see this side of Aki where instead of him looking like he gets thing under control and cool all the time, he is just so clueless socially and every rank of him had me go "Holy shit he's autistic he's just like me frrrrr" like I didnt expect him to have awful social cues like me hskskssksk I also love how really cute the entire rank is like this boy is 18 and never dated anyone yet he is so sweet and thoughtful I almost forgot he probably learned this from the seventeen magazine in his room lmfaoo I love them they're the most tamed yet cute pair but also bittersweet and sad thinking that he lost everyone that he loves even after he proclaimed he will protect her ugh im in painnn

3) Theoham - I love how silly the entire route is! Its fun and relaxed and oh god what is up with everyone with white hair has autism in this game??? His lines are fucking bonkers it had me in tears and I cant even believe this man also manage to make me feel things about exposing one's hand after seeing it gloved for so long. Again Atlus please let the girlies cook again for the new persona i am begging you

4) Hamugis - idk if it was Atlus intention or not to make her pan but god I love this so much! Her entire route is her adjusting to being human and gaining human emotion gradually and I just really think its so beautiful when she said she doesnt even care if Kotone's a girl or a man she will still love her (Im sure she really meant it to be platonic and she pretty much mixed romantic and platonic but also that confession at the roof doesnt help at all I genuinely think she's in love with femc) and towards the end when she cried I can hear how human she is briefly like oh god I cant believe Atlus invented yuri

5) Yukaham - they're besties and she mentioned she wants a bf before okay whatever BUT I just refuse to believe she's into men honestly and she probably just wants a bf because thats what she believes girls should be (like obsessing over boys and such) and shes a girly girl so she should like boys, right?

Im not forcing anyone my HC at all so just ignore this if you want. Im writing this because the worm in my brain tells me to do it and i am also projecting myself here but like I just like the idea of Yukari feels conflicted about her sexuality because she's a girly girl and her liking girls doesnt fit the status as a girly girl but when she meets Kotone and she is feminine and likes girls stuff too but also a tomboy and doesnt really care much about the identity of being a girly girl and finds herself enamored towards her, she admits to her one day that she's having conflicted feelings about her and the other girls she finds oddly attracted to and Kotone's probably like "You should try to kiss me and see if you feel anything about it" and AKXHEIQPAUSQPAJQL oh god the thought of Yukari not knowing she's a lesbian and struggling to accept her identity as a lesbian is just so AAAAAAA i need more Yukaham content maybe I should draw them together

6) Mitsuham - I totally understand people's vision with Mitsuham. Actually at this point, you guys can see how Kotone brings impact to everyone in the team and towards the end of the game, everyone either finds a meaning to live or finally able to open up to each other but anyway shhh lets ignore the overall grim lore of this game and just focus on Mitsuru as a person instead. I really love the idea that Kotone introduce a lot of new things to Mitsuru since despite how rich and influential she can be, due to the responsibility and burden she has to hold at a very young age, she didnt get to experience what life is as a normal teenage girl so I just love the thought of Kotone teaches her what it feels to be a normal teenage girl like and gives her a glimpse of what it feels if she wasn't a Kirijo in the first place. Again, just a HC but like I think it would be so fun of Kotone and Mitsuru just sneaks out at night after she convinces her to forget her responsibility for a moment and loiters around town until it's the dark hour and Mitsu just freaks out because she was too distracted by having fun and being distracted by her duty and she was like I cant afford being normal, not in this world and not when she bears the name of Kirijo and oh god did I accidentally turn this into angst???? ANYWAYS yes I understand Mitsuham

7) Ryoham - Okay I have to admit, as much as bittersweet and tragic their whole relationship is (like the fuck as going on in Atlus' HQ when they wrote "Please touch me. Make sure I exist." Like ????) I'm just not into Ryoji much because of a personal reason but also like I love it when people draw them in an alternate universe where they meet again like I really believe in another life, they really do would fall for each other again ;w;

8) Juntone - Honestly I just see them as platonic but I saw this one Juntone shipper on twt before and I cant stop thinking of them whenever I have to think of this pair. Like okay shh imagine if Kotone isnt dead in the end but both of them still lost Chidori and Shinji, I know they both understands the pain but like if lets say they find confort in each other and down the line they do fall in love, I just think its really beautiful. Maybe not immediately but when years later theyre reunited and open up about their grief and still having a hard time to move on, I know they would clung on to each other just to feel absolutely alright because nobody can understand the circumstances they fall into.

Anyway, that's pretty much my ranking. I really do love and understand why people would love her with other pairing like I am all game but the ones I am pretty much very obsessed with is Shinjiham and Akiham while the others are more of an afterthought to me.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

5, 16, 20?

Linking the original ask post cause it took some digging to find it again lol

Something you see in fics a lot and love:

B-boysss... kissing :3

lol okay uh the overwhelming majority of what I read is jaytim that's rated Explicit, so there's, ya'know, a lot of patterns in there that I've self selected for, but attempting to get into a more meaningful answer, I really like the way that fanfic repeatedly digs up old shit and uses it as a catalyst for characters to gain greater intimacy with each other. The constant reinvention and re-contextualization of Jason and Tim's various fights is neat to me

A tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate:

Oooh I'm gonna throw up the post I already made about the guy Jason manipulated into playing puppet for him

But that feels like cheating so I also want people to appreciate the asymmetrical aspects of the OG spoiler outfit, because I adore it so. I am a SUCKER for shoulder pads/spikes and 80s asymmetrical outfits.

Your very first fandom:

That's... actually pretty hard to answer.

The first online community I truly got involved with is City of Heroes. Loved playing the game when it was live, and I role played in the Homecoming servers for fourteen hours a day, seven days a week, for about five years. I still play every once in a while too! If you see Dread Captain Bones, David Drakal, or Cowboy Cline around, those are me :3 The only issue I have with saying it's this one is that I'm not entirely sure this counts as a fandom?? It really is more a role playing community than anything like a fandom for the game itself, most people only very lightly engage with the setting and it's considered a tad crass to get any of the named canonical characters involved with your character's story lines.

We could very technically count Naruto simply because that was the first one I ever tried to find fanfic for but uhhhhh... I started with ff.net with a super dark E rated fic because I thought E meant for Everyone and bounced off it so hard. I'm very sorry geisha AU naru-sasu fic I read when I was like thirteen, I tried so hard to like you, but my PTSD was not having it lmao

There's also half decent arguments to be made for Marvel comics, Doctor Who, or Vampire the Masquerade simply because my parents are/were such massive nerds lmao

Both of them did a lot of LARP and one of my favorite pictures of my mom is her as either the Sheriff or the Prince of our city ripping someone's heart out via a sponge soaked with fake blood :3 so yeah I def grew up learning about the clans and the lore and such

And this is very much a Marvel household lol My parents used to do story time with me about the X-men, and like they are completely accepting of my metal head and queer stuff, but I feel like it hurts my dad's soul just a little bit that I ended up being so into DC and so uninterested in Marvel. Whenever we talk about some of my (not romance related) plotlines for my DC fics he'll substitute in vaguely equivalent Marvel characters because he simply cannot be asked to dedicate braincells to DC characters lmao

Me: "I'm really looking forwards to writing out how the super geniuses and stuff push the limits of what Jason and Tim did to the diseases."

My Dad, knowing FULL WELL that I am not including any Marvel characters in this fic: "Oh yeah, Reed Richards would go nuts trying to figure that shit out."

My dad also collected Doctor Who episodes, like the ones from 1963 all the way to modernity, I grew up watching the black and white stuff, and for sure tumblr did expose me to Superwholock, through I never felt like I was a part of that.

It might actually be DC comics itself that's my first fandom! I just never really interacted with any sort of online or fandom space directly until Boostle dragged me into DC fandom's sphere of influence.

Anyhow I hope my ramblings were interesting/entertaining and thank you muchly for the ask! :3

[lizbotw]

hi!! can I ask for some shouto headcanons with a s/o who has frequent nightmares? ty! ily

Todoroki With a S/O That Has Frequent Nightmares

hi! wow, i really loved this request and enjoyed writing it! once again, it's a bit on the longer side and more scenario-like than just plain headcanons, so i hope you like it! tysm, ilyt!!! ♡

Todoroki Shouto

Everyone knows school is just plain hard and going to the top hero school in the nation meant things were… less than easy for you and your classmates.

All-nighters were common, especially now that everyone was living in the dorms together and were up to antics at all hours of the night, even despite the scolding of Iida (Aizawa admitted he couldn't care less what the class did as long as they kept it down and didn't cause too much trouble—just don’t interrupt his sleep and everything is all good).

It’s not like it was unusual for someone to complain offhandedly about being tired one day, or for your classmates to be spotted with eye bags, so no one ever thought to point out the sleepy look you seem to sport regularly from being kept up all night.

Everyone was basically kept up later than intended one way or another, whether it be finishing an assignment last minute or staying up to finish a movie, so they sympathized with your plight, assuming that it was similar to their own—but what they didn’t know was that the reason you were up was much different than any of their reasons.

While they slept peacefully only a few floors away from you, or sometimes even a few doors down the hallway, you were plagued by dark images, the type that twisted around in your mind, growing in ferocity and coiling around your heart with sticky, inky blackness so tightly that you felt as though you couldn’t breathe—any attempts against them that you took seemed futile and you always woke up gasping for air, a cold sweat breaking out across your forehead as your chest heaved, heavy with emotion.

You'd gotten used to hiding it, having been dealing with them for quite a while now, and while you eventually learned to brush them off due to their frequency, in the dead of the night, whenever they struck you, you felt as powerless and hopeless as the very first time they arrived.

It was only in the light of day that you were able to be reasonable with yourself and in which the fears lost most of their power (they were never completely gone though, the thoughts lingering in the back of your mind and causing you to mull over them whenever there was a dull moment in class and your attention started to drift).

Perhaps it's because you had these nightmares that you made the most of the energy you had during the day, fighting in your own way in the light to prove that you were still powerful, even if you were stripped of that power every night.

You'd adapted to running on only a few hours of sleep and tried to take short naps throughout the day to make up for lost time (although it was still hard after particularly difficult nights where you got almost zero relief from the terrifying images), so by the time life in U.A. came about, you were able to tough it out and focus on your training.

Speaking of training, you were vicious in class battles, taking many by surprise and were able to render several of your weaker classmates immobile in capture exercises and swept them off of their feet relatively quickly in one on one fights, including a certain “IcyHot” boy (although the way in which you swept him off his feet was much different—it was hard to beat him in normal fights anyway, but when it came to matters of the heart he was forced to surrender).

Your pure power may have caught his attention at first, but it wasn’t until Shouto spoke to you more and your personality came out that he was truly faced with the fact that he was falling for you hard.

A series of mishaps and a fair share of intervention from the rest of Class 1-A later and you two were miraculously dating and even could finally rest easy—they definitely had their work cut out when it came to getting you two together, but they ultimately bit the bullet because they could not stand the mutual pining and hopeless romanticism that continuously went on between you two.

It may take a while for Shouto to realize that spending the night at each other's dorms is a romantic™ thing couples do and that he should offer that up. That would be a great alternative actually versus the current are arrangement of that whenever you come over to study during the afternoons with him (which quickly turns into night because wow, time sure flies when you're being tortured by textbooks), and once it gets late enough, he comments about what time it is and how both of you should start getting ready for bed—effectively forcing you to leave his dorm. Don't blame him—the thought just never crossed his mind.

It was actually Mina, wanting to pry in on all U.A. relationships and resident sucker for romance, that probably brought the idea to his attention.

Something about asking how you two spent time together turned interrogation when she realized he could be clueless about certain things and made it her personal mission to school him on all things romance.

And then came the question, “So, have you guys had a couple’s sleepover yet?”

“A what?”

“Mina, please stop, just leave the poor guy alone,” came Jirou’s chiding from somewhere in the background. Mina had dragged her along with her for unknown reasons, but Jirou had made it very clear that she did not want to be there, slowly distancing herself from the conversation and discreetly trying to slip away.

While Mina took up arguing with Jirou about the “necessity” of these questions and Jirou facepalming and asking Mina why she didn’t just bring Hagakure (second in command on all things romance) with her, Shouto took the chance to mull over Mina’s words.

“And what does this... ‘couple’s sleepover’ entail exactly?” he interrupted their bickering after a few moments of contemplation and being unable to come up with an answer himself.

Mina absolutely lit up at that and turned to him once again, scuffle with Jirou long forgotten. “I am so glad you asked! Well, first of all-”

“She just means spending the night at each other’s dorms,” Jirou interrupted before Mina could go off on another tangent. Shouto turned to look at Jirou now and found her boredly examining her nails before then switching to nervously clinking the ends of her earphones jacks together when she noticed he was watching her.

“Then why-”

Jirou interrupted him this time. “Why did she call it a ‘couple’s sleepover?’ I don’t know, why don’t you ask Mina herself?”

It only took her a fraction of a second to realize her mistake when Mina opened her mouth to unleash the lengthy explanation she had prepared and Jirou immediately cut her off again before the damage could be done.

“Actually, never mind, don’t ask her. I don’t think I have to explain the sleepover part. Just spend the night doing fun things, like playing games or watching a movie or something, I don’t know. Typical sleepover things. And the couple’s part is because… well, you’re dating aren’t you? Bam, a couple.” She did unenthusiastic jazz hands at that. “Hmm… and I guess that means the sleepover activities will be more romantic than a typical sleepover too.” She scrunched her nose at the idea, not even wanting to imagine what that sort of description would entail.

Mina was getting antsy next to her, desperate to jump into the conversation with her own input and Jirou finally seemed to notice it. “Looks like Mina wants to go-” (“What? No, I don’t-”) “So see you later, Todoroki.” She grabbed Mina’s arm with one hand and gave Shouto a small wave goodbye with her free hand—one that he returned—as she pulled Mina away. “Oh, and don’t worry too much about it,” she said over her shoulder, “It’s literally just spending some time together and you do that already, right? The only difference is that this time it’ll be overnight, so just act natural. It’s not some big fancy event despite what Mina’s name for it might suggest.” And with that the two were gone, disappearing down the hallway in a fit of distant, mumbled bickering about how Mina is no longer allowed to give unsolicited love advice and how Jirou needs to learn the ways of love to truly understand, leaving Shouto all alone with his thoughts, trying to decipher what the fuck just happened.

Truthfully, he was always sad to see you go after a day of hanging out, wishing he could spend more time with you. For some reason he thought that as soon as night came, you deserved to head back to your own dorm for a proper night’s rest. He was just being concerned for your well being, isn’t that what proper boyfriends did? He considered the idea once of what if you spent the night together?, and despite that literally addressing all of his issues from before, he still brushed off the idea because it was preposterous. Shouto, where are your thinking skills???

After a while of back and forth with himself over the wisdom Mina and Jirou had bestowed upon him, he made the decision that next time things would be different.

Another late night study session had you packing up your things once you noticed the blinking alarm clock on Shouto's desk had stuck 11 P.M., the process routine at this point and you no longer waiting for your boyfriend to end the study session himself.

You rose and starting gathering the papers sprawled across his floor into a neat stack in your arms, absentmindedly talking about the things you had to do tomorrow as you went—it was like you were just inputting some closing remarks before calling it a night and Shouto fell easily into the conversation as he slipped stray pens and highlighters back into his pencil case.

You two usually cleaned up amongst the quiet hum of your words—discussing how you felt about the upcoming test, subjects either of you needed more help on next time, and what you were looking forward to eating for breakfast in the morning—but this night had Shouto's eyes straying away from the mess at his feet to you. Your back was to him most of the time, but even when you were facing him as you gathered up your books, your attention was focused on said objects, rather than him.

You guys didn't look at each other much as you cleaned, he realized—it was an obvious observation, but he still had the thought as he watched you, taking note of how this was just the perfect chance to admire you.

When you turned to him at one point though, gaze piercing, he quickly averted his eyes, shifting them to a highlighter that lay in front of him in your general direction, reaching to pick up. He ran his thumb over the smooth, bright yellow cylinder of it as you walked over to him, crouched down, hands planted on his shoulders, and leaned in to brush your lips against his. His eyes fluttered close and he leaned into the kiss, pushing back against you. He moved to deepen it, about to grip onto the fabric of your shirt for leverage, the highlighter rolling out of his grip, but the kiss was over in a matter of seconds and he opened his eyes, finding your smiling face right in front of him. You gave him a brief kiss on his cheek, as though to sign it off, and he had to admit that the heat of your face against his felt nice.

“Night, babe,” you said as you got up and turned to walk over to your bag that lay by the door.

“Night…” Right, that was just one of your normal goodnight kisses. That was also part of the routine but… something about the idea that that was the last kiss of the night didn’t sit right with him.

Shouto studied you once more, tongue in cheek, as he watched you stuff the papers and books you had gathered up back into your bag. The contemplative look never left his eye—it seemed as though you hadn’t noticed his staring from earlier so he was a bit more bold and confident about doing it now—and he almost lost himself to a trance of watching your methodical movements of picking something up from the pile of books you had lain at your feet and slipping them into the bag one by one.

When you slung the bag over your shoulder and moved towards the door, turning back to give him a final wave goodbye, he stiffened, remembering his plan.

“Wait-” He scrambled to his feet as you watched him in confusion, hand already on the doorknob. “Um… do you want to stay the night?” He flinched internally at the unsureness in his voice and straightened up, crossing his arms to create some semblance of nonchalance. “I mean, only if you want to. We don’t have to keep studying. I have a… movie? If you want to watch that together?”

Shouto’s eyes carefully tracked your movements, trying to gauge your reaction.

You tilted your head in bewilderment at the sudden offer, but then you grinned brightly and dropped your bag back at your feet, it landing on the ground with a thud from all of the heavy books inside. “Okay,” you beamed and Shouto was sure he was about to faint.

He followed Jirou’s advice to a T, or at least he tried to. He meant to ask if you wanted to play Monopoly but Kaminari had stolen it from the dorm’s game closet and refused to hand it over because his plans for the night included kicking Sero’s, Kirishima’s, and Bakugou’s asses at the game (Mina was there to be the unbiased banker because the boys were so sure that one of them kept stealing money out of the bank whenever no one was looking and Jirou was just there to bask in the chaos that was sure to ensure—when Mina and Jirou caught sight of Shouto, they both gave him a knowing look).

The loss of the Monopoly board meant you two instead played with the dingy Uno card deck Shouto found buried in his school supply drawer (he was pretty sure it was Midoriya’s and in his mind sent him a silent thank you—as for if he was going to give the desk back or continue “borrowing” it… well, that depended on how much you enjoyed playing with him).

You won three times in a row, but also Shouto seemed to keep getting distracted by something (spoiler alert: it was your smile) and you realized he wasn’t even playing his best cards most of the time so you easily crushed him. You clapped your hands in celebration at every victory and Shouto noticeably increased his speed while shuffling the deck whenever you did that (oh yeah, he was definitely keeping these, sorry, Deku).

You two eventually got around to watching the movie he had brought up before on his laptop, you slotted comfortably under his arm while it hung around your shoulder, and even had a late night snack run per your request (snack run = sneaking into the kitchen and stealing the plate of hot pockets Kaminari was making to supplement his game night—better yet, you made Shouto do the stealing with him timing his crime perfectly and waiting for Kaminari’s back to be turned.)

(You supervised the whole thing by peeking around a hidden corner, barely containing your laughter, and then jumped in to distract Kaminari right when he was about to turn around before quickly taking your leave once Shouto was out of sight. Kaminari’s screams once he realized what had happened could be heard down the hallway as you two rushed back to the elevator, stolen goods secured and you laughing freely.)

(You’re pretty sure you heard Shouto mumble, “How’s that for Monopoly, you electric bitch,” and while you’re honestly not sure what he’s talking about, you support his energy nonetheless.)

Soon it was time to actually sleep and you two were curled up under his blanket, limbs tangled together. You had taken brief naps together before so this wasn’t exactly anything new (even though it was, judging by what a big deal everyone had made of it, including you two), but you found yourself appreciating once again how Shouto was the perfect person to sleep against—he regulated his body temperature exactly how you liked it and you found yourself nodding off to sleep easily in between the quiet whispers about nonsensical late night topics between you two.

The brief concern about your nightmares had completely slipped your mind at this point—you found that short naps meant that they didn’t have much time to strike and since said naps were what you were used to with him, you forgot that this was a full night ordeal. When he had first proposed the idea of a sleepover, you had thought it would be good to have someone else there to comfort you, but then felt guilty about being selfish and wondered if your reaction to the nightmares would scare him off—although you eventually pushed those thoughts to the side because no way would you turn down spending some quality time with your boyfriend, and the night of fun had led to never returning to mull over that internal conflict.

You two fell asleep at some point without even realizing it, peaceful in each other's arms—that is, until a few hours later when disaster struck because of course something just had to ruin your perfect night.

Shouto blearily blinked his eyes open, confused at the sound that reached his ears and brain slow to comprehend what exactly was going on. It took him a moment to suck in a breath to clear his mind and decipher the situation, shifting in place—that is, until his arm brushed against yours and he stilled, mind suddenly clear as it recalled the events of the last hour he had been awake. You were spending the night with him.

Carefully, he sat up, head pounding a little. He brought up a hand to rest on top of his head, fingers curling around his hair and massaging away the beginnings of a headache. And then he heard it again—the sound that had woken him up. A quiet whimper maybe?

He was back to being confused, except now his eyes were darting around the room suspiciously, ready to go on the defensive, especially because you were next to him. U.A. had a proper security system, didn't it? He shouldn't be worried. Although, then again, his mind kept returning to those thoughts of uncertainty and how villains had been able to endanger his classmates time and time again recently.

The shuffling of blankets and a sharp intake of breath had him refocused within a second and he looked down at you. Eyes now adjusted to the darkness, he could make out your face against the backdrop of his pillow, your features twisted into a troubled expression, teeth pulling on your bottom lip. Your hands gripped the blanket in a tight fist, your arms shaking a little.

You continued squirming under the blanket until you eventually kicked most of it off of you, almost as if there was someone there that you meant to hit. Your mouth curled into a silent scream, ragged breaths coming out in huffs as your chest rapidly rose and fell. He could tell you were mumbling now, voice low enough that he couldn't exactly make out what was being said—the syllables coming out in quick bursts and half formed as your focus seemed to jump from topic to topic, each of them bringing you increasing distress.

Shouto had been watching you in horrid fascination, unable to take his eyes off of you as much as his mind screamed at his body to just fucking move, but when a sliver of moonlight coming in from his window—peeking out from behind a gap in the drapes he hadn’t pulled together close enough—caught the glint of tears brimming your eyes, he was quick to react, gripping your upper arm and, as gently as he could while still being firm, shook you. "(Y/N)!" he hissed, not wanting to startle you, "Wake up, please. What's wrong?"

It took a few tries—him wanting to snap you back to consciousness right away, but also afraid of hurting you or making things worse—but before a minute had passed you were coming back to reality, forcing your eyes open as you realized the images plaguing you hadn't been real. You sat up quickly, almost bumping your head against Shouto's (not that you even noticed he was there), your breaths coming hard and fast.

You completely forgot where you were for a moment, just focusing on calming down, and it wasn't until Shouto managed a quiet, "(Y/N)?," concern clearly lacing his voice, that you whipped your head around to face him.

And then your eyes slowly traveled around the rest of the room, recalling where you were. If he hadn't been there, the unfamiliar environment probably would have made you feel alarmed when you came to and make you start wondering if you were stuck in another nightmare again.

You heard Shouto clear his throat as he looked at you curiously, and your eyes snapped back to him. Just the sight of him had your eyes watering and before you knew it, you had flung yourself into his chest, fingers finding purchase in the loose fabric of his shirt.

He easily managed to steady you two from the momentum of you crashing into him and wrapped his strong arms around you, squeezing you to him as you sobbed into his chest.

It would take a little while for him to calm you down and although he was incredibly concerned, he made sure to be the rock you needed and let you take all the time in the world to stabilize yourself.

You would probably be a little embarrassed to tell him about your dream, especially now that you were more lucid, and may even start apologizing for your behavior earlier until he cuts you off because you had every right to react as you did.

After a bit of coaxing, along with you realizing you felt comfortable around him and that you shouldn't worry about him judging you for something as trivial as this, you opened up and told Shouto about your frequent nightmares. He would play with your hands as you talked to let you know it was okay and a silent kiss—soft lips against yours—would confirm that he loved you no matter what.

Shouto wouldn’t mind staying up late into the early hours of the morning with you if you wanted to talk about what you had experienced and may even suggest that you two sneak down to the dorm kitchen and get something to eat and drink (now that was fun—teasing him by pretending to be on a spy mission and forcing him to glance around all of the corners with you, as though you were suspicious about someone catching you? absolutely gold).

Just laying together and talking because you didn’t want to go to sleep would be fine with him, even if you insisted that he should get some rest. He didn’t want you to feel bad about the situation or think that you were a burden, so he did his best to take your mind off of it.

If you wanted to stay up longer, you might watch another movie or even play a few more rounds of Uno (Kaminari, the bastard, still had Monopoly locked in his room for some reason and hadn’t returned it to the game closet—now not to say that Shouto considered leaving an anonymous tip to Iida about the blonde breaking the unwritten rules of the dorm by not returning the game as soon as he was done with it but… yeah, he definitely considered it).

Expect sleepovers to become a lot more common between you two from then on, especially after you admitted that having Shouto there made things a lot more bearable. Whether it be in your dorm or his, both of you were always open to falling asleep in each other's arms whenever the other person asked.

At your next late night hang out session, you two even played Monopoly!

(Shouto had frozen Kaminari’s feet to the ground when he saw him running towards the game closet to snag the game again, and then calmly walked off with his prize after plucking it from the shelf while Kamianri wailed in distress and tried to unstick his feet and pull them free. Shouto couldn’t help but crack a small grin to himself in victory as he walked away.)

Per your request, you two invited some of the other students to play Monopoly because it was always fun with more people (for some reason, Shouto expressly stated that Kaminari was not to be invited and while you were confused, you just shrugged and agreed, even when you heard him say something about forcing the blonde go through “Monopoly withdrawal” as a punishment—you decided not to question him on that point), and a few of those who didn’t want to play just came to watch as well.

(Midoriya was one of those who came to play and while he was glancing around the room, his eyes landed on Shouto’s desk and he squinted in confusion, scrutinizing the little deck he saw tucked in the corner.)

(“Hey, Todoroki, are those my Uno car-”)

(“Nope. Oh look, you just landed on Boardwalk and Uraraka has a hotel there. You only have $200, right?”)

(“Wha- oh, fu-”)

Shouto had to deal with his fair share of nightmares as a child and if you ever want to talk about what the latest disturbing image that had haunted you was, he’ll always be available. In turn, he feels ready to open up about his own fears to you, all while soothing away yours. Talking with him feels natural, just like anything else involving him, and not keeping everything bottled up has definitely helped you more, causing your performance both in class and out in the battlefield to improve.

Your chest definitely feels a lot lighter these days and your dark circles seem to be fading. You probably owe those to your wonderful boyfriend turned portable heater (what? he’s perfect for when you want to take naps and now that he knows about your nightmares during the night, you no longer have to explain to him why you like to sleep so frequently during the day).

Shouto is nothing short of supportive and if there’s anything you ever need to ease the nightmares and lull you off to sleep—whether it be him buying you a diffuser you saw online, getting you a custom sleeping mask, or just you needing him to whisper sweet nothings into your ear and pepper kisses along your temple to help you fall back asleep after being jolted awake again—he’s always there to provide it.

[sooibian]

Nia! A game for you! Which one of the Exos would you ship with your mutuals and why?

thanks for this, anon! i needed the distraction 💗 

i tried not to pair my mutuals with their biases but...idk if i did this right haha anywayyy let's go!

Minseok:

@sooghostwriter: melissa is strong, determined, and unapologetically honest. i see her with someone who is equally strong, and secure with himself and is at the same time dorky and fun. i can see the two of them bonding over skincare too *heart eyes*

@kyoonqs: everything about flor is pretty. she’s got a beautiful, creative mind and a soft heart and she has a keen eye for aesthetics and detail. i see minseok and flor - this is very specific haha - coming together to collaborate on a project which turns out to be a process of self-discovery and they eventually end up falling in love with each other.

Junmyeon:

@vampwrrr: i just want someone to take care of this bebe like she deserves to be taken care of. in a precious, gentle, and loving way. it will be a quiet kind of love but i can count on jun to whisk you away to exotic locations every now and then...and bring you breakfast in bed. he’s the kind to listen and understand and he’ll make sure to never make you feel alone and to always make you feel secure. i can’t stress on this enough i just want someone to love and cherish piper forever and i think jun is that understanding and steady partner.

@mel-loves-kdramas: i’ll keep this simple. mel and junmyeon are a match made in heaven. mel is loving, gentle, understanding, and kind. exactly the kind of partner junmyeon needs.

Yixing:

hardworking. passionate. artistic. ambitious. my three friends @kyungseokie @xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme and @diveinthebluewithyou are the embodiment of these qualities which i feel is the kind of energy that yixing would be attracted to. it would be an everlasting and healthy relationship in which both the parties involved support the others dreams and aspirations but at the same time they do not lose their sense of self. power couple vibes maybe?

Baekhyun:

@j-pping: jae is intuitive, intelligent, level-headed, and strong-willed. at the same time she’s fun and a positive person who makes everyone feel comfortable and welcome. with these qualities i think she’d get along really well with baekhyun. i see their relationship progress in a friends to lovers kinda way.

@royal-aeris: aeris! my fellow pisces friend! i think you're witty and hilarious! but you're also sensitive and very much in touch with your emotions. i think baekhyun is the kind of person to understand that kind of emotional depth as well as complement the fun side of your personality beautifully.

@his-mochi-cheeks: my dearest dearest ari deserves someone who isn’t shy with their expression of love and baekhyun is exactly the man for her. he’s someone who is intuitive, strong, and protective. he also possesses a natural ability of making people feel better and understood. ari deserves this fun kind of love!

Chanyeol:

@littleflowercrown13: melissa is endearingly awkward and shy but at the same time she seems like someone who's strong-willed and level-headed. i think melissa and chanyeol would help balance out each other's energies in an opposites attract kinda way. it will be a fun but a meaningful relationship in which they complete each other!

@jenmyeons: moa your tags never fail to crack me up. when i think you and chanyeol i think idiots in love haha. childhood friends who’ve always been together drift apart in their uni days only to find their way back to each other again <3

@lovelysehunie: ninni is a biiiig animal and nature lover. she’s also the kind of person who is deeply passionate about her interests. maybe chanyeol and ninni bond over something they’re both enthusiastic about and as they say...the rest is history.

Kyungsoo:

@rosetvler: rose you’re a feisty go-getter. you are witty and hilarious but you also have major indoors-y energy. i see kyungsoo and you as the kind of couple to cancel plans with friends just cuz y’all are too bored and lazy to step out of the house. maybe he’ll cook for you and you can watch a movie together before drifting off to sleep in the comfort of his arms ;-;

@leewalberg: unnie, you and i are so similar in so many ways. you’re hilarious!!! laidback and easy to get along with and this is the ...sort of uncomplicated (??) nature that kyungsoo could possibly gravitate towards? he also seems like a no-fuss dude so i see this as a smooth sailing, rock-steady relationship.

Jongin:

@baekberrie: in my limited interaction with you i thought you are a really, really sweet, soft, kind, and a friendly person. also, my dear, your blog theme is so comforting and beautiful!! i’m thinking first date at the amusement park..both of you in comfortable clothing... neutral/pastel tones..shy giggles...hand holding...sweet treats..sugar rush...soft kisses.

@xiusoomygod: dee you’re so so so soooo adorable and cute and bubbly and creative!!! i can see nini (specifically dressed in his gucci bear collection) getting attracted to these aspects of your personality. it’ll be a soft romance in which you guys bond over make up.. and fashion too! maybe even create your own brand in the long run!

@ninibears-erigom: i’ll keep this plain and simple, i just don't see ayla with anyone other than nini i'm sorry i tried but, again, this one is a match made in heaven!!!!

Sehun:

@thedeviousdo​ stephanie is intelligent and someone with strong opinions at the same time she’s non-judgemental and is willing to consider ideas that are new and different. these are the things that i believe would bring sehun and steph closer to each other. conversations leading to platonic affections will soon pave way for “the romantiques” in this relationship !!!!

i am a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope lololol *grabs popcorn* the trajectory of both my neo brained bebes @changshapatrol and @is-that-baekhyuns-shirt falling for sehun looks something like this: denial, guilt, anger, sadness, acceptance :P

get ready ahead of time to go out are you ready? i’m gonna rule the city today and bring the sparks. you’re already out, why are you so shy, my boo. don’t stutter, you don’t have to feel awkward, don’t bring anything, just hold my hand my lady. every road we walk on is a red carpet and a runway. the way you walk is so unique match the speed now, tempo!

also i think their personal styles really complement sehun’s really well? sooo...which stage are we on now, lolo and olivia? :P

[lerr-writes-fic]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

Tagged by the wonderful @whiskynorocks

I am a fan since… 2021. I tried playing Mass Effect 1 when it first came out since I was a huge fan of KOTOR, but ME1 literally killed my computer. I bought the Mass Effect games on Steam as they came out, hoping to play them one day. I did not have a machine or console that was able to play Mass Effect until the Legendary Edition came out for PS4!

Favorite game of the series: Mass Effect 2. If I've said it once, I've said it 1000 times. ME2 really said "we know what the people want in the next Mass Effect, and that's checking your email, playing dress up, filling the gas tank, and forgetting to feed your pets."

and guess what, THEY WERE RIGHT. I love all the little things they added to ME2.

MaleShep or FemShep? FemShep, but I've played both MaleShep and FemShep.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? Earthborn all the way.

Paragon or Renegade? Paragon, but I do love adding in more renegade actions in ME2 and ESPECIALLY in ME3. To me, it feels natural that Shepard would become less idealistic and go more rogue the longer she has to deal with the entire galaxy's bullshit. (Looking at you, Council and Quarian Admiralty)

Biotics or Tech? Neither: Soldier all the way, babyyyyyy (although I've been trying to switch it up, and I finished ME1 as an adept. I'm trying Tech next!)

Favorite class: Soldier! I love blasting my way through enemies, and the multiple weapon/ammo options are incredible. I've recently been playing ME2 hardcore with soldier class and reave as Shep's extra power... fucking unstoppable.

Favorite companion: Garrus, he's the first companion I pick up in each game, and he comes on every mission with me, start to finish. I also love Wrex, Tali, Grunt, Vega, Legion, Mordin, and Miranda.

Least favorite companion: I barely took Javik anywhere in ME3 because he was so cruel and mean!! He made a comment about how little he was picked in the ME3 Citadel DLC

My squad selection: ME1 - Garrus and Wrex, ME2 - Garrus with either Grunt or Miranda, ME3 - Garrus and anyone.

My favorite squad set up was in ME3 with Garrus and Kaidan for the Horizon mission. I had Garrus with me on the ME2 Horizon mission (and I had accidentally romanced Kaidan in ME1, but we became friends in ME3). It was a lesson in friendship ♥️♥️

Favorite in-game romance: Garrus, hands/talons down. I love that the Garrus romance stems from their solid friendship and being the only other person that they can trust ♥️♥️

Other pairings I like: FemShep/Tali, FemShep/Garrus/Tali, MaleShep/Tali, Jack/Miranda, Cortez/Vega, Kaidan/MaleShep, Kaidan/MaleShep/Vega. Also, Legion should be a romance option imo.

Hmmmm a lot of queer ships up there...

Favorite NPC: Anderson and Victus ♥️♥️

Favorite antagonist: Sovereign and Harbinger have some nice voice/sound effects, but I really think The Illusive Man makes the whole game. Such a great character and antagonist. I love that your actions through out all the games influence his story as well.

Favorite mission: The suicide mission in ME2 is incredible. V intense, lots of Big Decisions, and the music is great.

Favorite loyalty mission: I really like most of the loyalty missions, actually. I enjoy Grunt's in particular especially because it's like helpingyour tank baby krogan son go through puberty. Also Garrus has a great line there: "Adolescence? Can't we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?"

Favorite DLC: Citadel DLC. I am a sucker for all of Garrus' lines about how nice FemShep looks shooting guns in her cocktail party dress 🤩🤩

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? Destroy. It's what Anderson would have wanted ♥️♥️

Favorite weapon: All assault rifles: ME1 - HMWA VII, ME2 - M-96 Mattock, ME3 - M7 Lancer

Favorite place: The galaxy map bc the music pops off every time. But my fave place to visit in Dark Star Lounge in ME2 Citadel bc the music is great there too.

A quote I like: “It's so much each easier to see the world in black and white. Gray... I don't know what to do with gray."

^this quote means a lot to me in Garrus' loyalty mission bc my FemShep has gray/silver hair, and I love the double meaning :)

I also smile whenever Garrus shouts "I love this rifle" during a field mission.

I’m tagging in @nicolasadrabbles ♥️♥️ (not sure if you've already done this, but better safe than sorry!)

[rabdoidal]

i know you listen to a lot of podcasts and ive found some of my favourites from hearing you talk about them! do you have any favourites?

under the cut! my top 10 podcasts at the moment:

Alice Isn’t Dead Genre: horror, thriller, drama, Lovecraftian, Americana Episode count: 30 (completed) Description: A truck driver searches across America for the wife she had long assumed was dead. In the course of her search, she will encounter not-quite-human serial murderers, towns literally lost in time, and a conspiracy that goes way beyond one missing woman. Thoughts: This podcast is, to me at least, completely flawless in every way. I would consider myself a person that listens to a lot of horror podcasts, but Alice Isn’t Dead takes the cake for its depictions of liminal middle America, the horror that is capitalism, and the most tender, realistic depiction of lesbians in any podcast. Anything else I could say would spoil it and for this, I don’t want to spoil it because I want every person alive that can stomach horror to listen to this.

Archive 81 Genre: horror, comedy, sci-fi, Lovecraftian Episode count: 35 (ongoing) Description: Archive 81 is a found footage horror podcast about ritual, stories, and sound. Thoughts: The latest podcast I’ve tried, and it’s definitely one that grows on you. The audio mixing is some of the best I’ve heard in any podcast, and every bump and scratch and hum of frequency weaves to form moments that are truly and viscerally gory. Season 3 and Left of The Dial are my favorites because again, I love Americana horror, and anything that involves family!

Artificial Ghost Radio Genre: non-fiction, discussion, comedy Episode count: 75 (ongoing) Description: Our Sisyphean music recommendation challenge with hosts Miles (he/him) and Jupiter (she/they) challenge each other to find songs based on arbitrary themes and to spin the WHEEL OF DISCORD to talk about a random song from their library! They can be found on twitter @artghostpod. Thoughts: Gotta plug my own podcast! We’re still small, but the people I’ve met from doing AGR has made my life richer and fuller, even through the ups and downs. I recommend starting with #58: Songs about Aliens ft. our friend Liz (@thescaryjokes)!

EOS 10 Genre: medical drama, comedy, sci-fi Episode count: 34 (ongoing) Description: Doctors in space, a deposed alien prince, a super gay space pirate and a fiery nurse who'll help you win your bar fight. Thoughts: It’s been a hot minute since I listened, but as someone that inherently loves things like Star Trek and procedural comedies, EOS 10 is a quick and hilarious listen! Fair warning some of the earlier stuff is a little bit ignorant when it comes to their LGBT characters, but it gets a lot better over time.

King Falls AM Genre: horror, comedy, Lovecraftian Episode count: 100 (ongoing) Description: King Falls AM centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants Thoughts: I’m a bit behind, but again, gotta love some Alpine American horror! King Falls AM perfectly captures the feeling and sound of listening to a small late night radio show with two bros, but it really goes from typical dude dialogue to heart wrenching found family alien conspiracy real quick. Same as EOS 10, fair warning for some ignorant language and LGBT stereotypes, but they address it and it gets better as it progresses.

Not Another D&D Podcast Genre: actual play Dungeons and Dragons, TTRPG, comedy Episode count: 128 (ongoing) Description: Welcome to the campaign after the campaign! Three unlikely adventurers attempt to right the wrongs caused by a party of legendary heroes who screwed up the world while trying to save it. Thoughts: I’m only like 40 episodes in because they’re thick, meaty ‘sodes, but god is NADDPOD fucking hilarious. I’ve tried a fair few TTRPG shows, but the chemistry and care that the cast has together is unmatched by others in the genre. I’m a complete sucker for shows that are so funny and so tragic in equal measures, and the entire concept of a D&D game set after the world has been so drastically changed by a different D&D game is so unique!

The Faculty of Horror Genre: non-fiction, horror, philosophy, sociology, feminism Episode count: 86 (ongoing) Description: Tackling all things horror with a slash of analysis and research, horror journalists and occasional academics Andrea Subissati and Alexandra West are your hosts for brain-plumping discussions on all things that go bump in the night. Thoughts: A little non-fiction in this list of fiction podcasts! The Faculty of Horror is a concise and educated intersectional feminist podcast, and it’s a breath of fresh air to listen to anyone that isn’t a cishet white guy talk about horror. I highly recommend the episode on Cabin in The Woods or Jennifer’s Body!

The Magnus Archives Genre: horror, office comedy Episode count: 180 (ongoing) Description: The Magnus Archives is a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organization dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join new head archivist Jonathan Sims as he attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of supernatural statements up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. Thoughts: TMA is, similarly to A81, a bit of a slow burn to get into, but I think once you listen to a few episodes you’ll know if you want to continue. It’s a pretty standard prompt for a narrative, but the sheer amount of individual short horror stories they’ve managed to write is insane! And I love the slow break down between recording statements and the stuff happening within the archives. Also one of the best redemption stories in a character that starts off as such a grumpy fuck!

The Penumbra Podcast Genre: sci-fi, neo-noir, romance, comedy, found family, magic, medieval fantasy, adventure, mystery Episode count: 75 (ongoing) Description: At the Penumbra, you might follow Juno Steel, a brooding, sharp-witted private eye on Mars, as he tangles with an elusive homme fatale, tracks dangerous artifacts of an ancient alien civilization, and faces his three greatest fears: heights, blood, and relationships. Or you might enter the world of the Second Citadel, where the merciless Sir Caroline must corral a team of emotionally distraught all-male knights to defend their city against mind-manipulating monsters...even the ones they’ve fallen in love with. Thoughts: On god TPP was a life changing podcast for me. Having creators that are genuinely concerned with accurately representing minorities with care and dedication makes me feel spoiled when I try listen to anything else. The two main universes are so different with their own set of histories and cultures, but I love them both so completely. If you want LGBT+ representation, this is the seminal podcast for everything non-binary, trans, queer, and people that aren’t afraid to change and have that change be known! I haven’t listened to another podcast that actually depicts transitioning like they do, absolute king shit.

Wolf 359 Genre: space drama, comedy, action Episode count: 61 (completed) Description: WOLF 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Set on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus space station, the dysfunctional crew deals with daily life-or-death emergencies, while searching for signs of alien life and discovering there might be more to their mission than they thought Thoughts: Wolf 359 is like if you fell down the stairs and at the bottom of the stairs was a bear trap, and then after you step in the bear trap someone helps you take off that beartrap, but then they kick you in the nuts. Just replace physical pain with emotional pain. It can be so funny but also so fucking stressful and sad – w359 isn’t afraid to kill its darlings, and it will break your heart but you will still say thank you.

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Kingdom Hearts

Favorite character: On the villain side: VEXEN IS BEST ORGANIZATION XIII MEMBER. Shoulda stayed evil, though. I like it when he complains and screams about everything and hates everyone. He's one of my favorite villains, just, like...in general. So fun to write. Also attached to Demyx, but I actually liked him more in III than II because it reminded me of my rawr lolspeek weeb days when I f/o'd him without knowing what f/o'ing was and then transitioned this to shipping VexDem like heck. On the hero side: MY GIRL KAIRI! But honorable mentions go to Sora, Riku, Aqua, Ven, Terra, Xion, Roxas, Lea, Ienzo, any Disney character I loved beforehand (this is way too fuckin many to list), Merlin (OKAY I WILL SINGLE HIM OUT), Yen Sid (I'LL SINGLE HIM OUT TOO), you know what let's also single out the Mickey+Donald+Goofy power trio...just...any KH hero who isn't part of the Yozora stuff or the KHUX stuff. ...Except I also LOVE Strelitzia, and she is the only KHUX-exclusive kiddo I care about but I care about her MANY. (Oh, and there's a least fave I have who's a "hero" but that's a debatable label). I would go on about why I love all of them but...that's too many characters to elaborate on

Least Favorite character: See, I think the real answer is Yozora, but the thing is I just tend to forget about him or not care (unless I'm doing a weird AU where he's Noctis' bratty Nobody, don't ask). He kinda represents the Shark Jump and I don't like watching that scene where he literally petrifies Sora for not being strong enough. But again, I can just kinda forget about him if he's not fed to me through a social-media unit. The one I LOVE TO HATE is Master Eraqus. The man actually triggered me back in the day. He is purity culture. He is the overbearing parent who will not accept you unless you are perfect. He is by and large the reason VAT didn't communicate with each other properly. He was the one who taught Aqua to think in absolutes. He lied to Ventus for years and then insisted to kill him was the only option, and then, when Terra tried to defend his brother figure/friend without knowing WHY Eraqus was doing such a thing, Eraqus didn't offer an explanation and instead switched targets to Terra citing that the problem was Terra's lack of OBEDIENCE. Eraqus is just very "my way or the highway" and uses his moral high horse to justify doing things that utterly lack compassion in any regard, which is something that GETS to me on a deep level, and let me tell you, I hated him for so long until I realized he was actually a super fuckin fun guy to imagine as a Bigger Bad in AUs that either have the KH protags teaming up or have villain protags needing a "greater good lawful evil" figure. And I just have found too many good memes about him cheating at chess and killing children. I have to laugh. Making fun of him is fun. He's a ridiculous character. That said, this recent trend of "erase everything bad he ever did and paint him as the ultimate hero of the saga" makes me raise eyebrows for SEVERAL reasons

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): VexDem, SoRiku, Kairi x Jaune Arc (RWBY), Aqua x Rosalina (Super Mario Galaxy) x Bayonetta, IsaLea, Ventus x Papyrus (Undertale), that was six but they all needed to be mentioned

Character I find most attractive: Ienzo. HOO BABY he is adorable. I saw someone make a Valentine's Day gifset of KH and FF characters shortly after III dropped and seeing his smiling face paired with a romance quote made my heart FLUTTER

Character I would marry: Probably Ienzo, see above. He's also a very kind guy. Favorite redemption in the modern era.

Character I would be best friends with: I hope the Destiny Trio would adopt me into their friend circle the way they've tended to do with every other inter-world denizen they've come across. I would love to have them as my positivity squad. Or, y'know, two positivities and one "it's okay to screw up" guy. Just. I would love to hang out with them. I often worry that I'm unlikable to my faves, but even though I would usually prefer to hang with the villains, I can pretty much guarantee these three would be open-minded about me. (Do I kiiiiinda wanna be friends with Vexen though? Of course I do. He'd hate me but maaaayyyyybe he would see me as one of his pet idiots who makes him look smarter, and we could bond over our fragile egos?)

a random thought: You ever think about that one NPC lady in Traverse Town who refused to tell you where she was from because it was none of her business? You ever wonder where she WAS from? What her world was like? How she ended up being the survivor of the Ansem Apocalypse when it hit her? All I know is that when I read her lines out loud (I used to read KH speech balloons out loud all the time), I gave her a Southern accent for no discernible reason and I stand by it. That woman has a twang.

An unpopular opinion: I don't want KHUX to be canon because I feel it's smaller-scale and takes a lot of mystery out of the worldbuilding. I always assume that the KHverse just includes ALL worlds in fiction, and that includes their thousand-year histories, meaning the Age of Fairy Tales should've happened long long long LONG LONG LONG ago and not five generations. And whatever screwed up the world should've been more than just five people having a fight, and whatever saved it should've been more than just five people getting along, and Daybreak Town really suffers from having to stick to mobile-friendly graphics and therefore is the least aesthetically attractive KH town ever, and I don't like that Lauriam and Elrena used to be such selfless people. I do still love Strelitzia because she's shy and relatable and quirky (sitting on the roof) and she questions authority and if you go with shipping subtext she's probably bi (or pan?), but I don't like the "Lauriam's dead sister for his arc's drama" bit. I liked when Marluxia was angry because he wanted to run Organization XIII but it was in the hands of an idiot who wasn't him. And more than anything I just like imagining that the Age of Fairy Tales was something bigger, further in the past, and more mysterious than something designed for a mobile game. Scala ad Caelum, however, I like a lot better because there IS a lot of mystery there and also it's a very pretty town with an amazing design.

my canon OTP: I really only count the Disney couples as the "canon" ones, so this is a question of picking my favorite Disney couple that shows up onscreen. I hope I'm not forgetting an important one, but I think the title has to go to Aladdin/Jasmine, which is always perfect in everything. (This would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY if KH had ever adapted Treasure Planet, and if it ever gets the mind to adapt Treasure Planet then even if I don't care about that game I will immediately declare that Amelia/Doppler takes the KH canon OTP crown. *taps watch* Get on it Squenix)

Non-canon OTP: SoRiku, which I counted as "basically canon" after DDD until III decided it wasn't sure. But I'm just a sucker for how DDD is the two of them all "HE'S GOT MY BACK AND I'VE GOT HIS AND I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM SO LONG AS HE'S HAPPY." It's just the best kind of Friends-to-Lovers, except when you take all canon into account it's Friends-to-Rivals-to-Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers and that's a very juicy dynamic. BUT ALSO: VexDem, which is a nostalgia ship SO STRONG I had to accept that it eclipsed my former Vexen ships by a mile and I wanted to go back to my roots. That one, I have a much longer essay about that I'll just have you refer to so I don't repeat myself for pages. To make a long story short, their scene in III was JUST DELICIOUS.

most badass character: OOF THEY'RE ALL BADASS but in the end it's between Sora and Aqua, because Sora gets the widest RANGE of abilities across the series that he masters while Aqua gets the most POWERFUL abilities due to her Mastery (Command Styles seem like they'd be the most OP things ever in-universe and I'm here for it because flashy battle moves make brain go brr).

pairing I am not a fan of: SOKAI, Xehaqus, RikuNami, Vanitas/anyone not evil

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): OH BOY. KAIRI THE MOST. YOU ALL KNOW WHY: lack of screen time, Fridging for drama, forced romance to invite death flags (they really wanted to milk that death to get people talking didn't they?), giving Alyson Stoner ZERO direction to actually follow up on Hayden Panettiere's performance. But then I remember that they made Vexen redeem and lose his entire personality and I just...uuugghhhh. I can't believe he died twice in this series. And then Demyx is FUN but also I know he's flipped sides as well, which means he won't be fun much longer! Xehanort seems to switch motivations to whatever makes him the biggest threat (and several of Eraqus' old flaws seem to be mysteriously glued onto him), Sora isn't a motormouth anymore, Riku just doesn't get anyone who cares about him anymore because everyone's distracted by Sora and Kairi, IS ANYBODY GOING TO ADDRESS THE ACTUAL ISSUES THAT DROVE THE WAYFINDER TRIO APART, oh God Marluxia and Larxene you're good guys now what have they done to you

favourite friendship: I really like each of the trios. But you know what's even BETTER than the trios? If you put...all of the trios together...meaning Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Aqua, Terra, Ven, Roxas, Xion, Lea, Hayner, Pence, Olette...and then you added Isa back in there...and you gave them Ienzo...and you brought back Naminé...and you say that Subject X is Strelitzia and you have her turn back up so she can have justice done...AND YOU HAVE AN ULTRA KEYBLADE GROUP OF FRIENDS. As for Vexen, any purely platonic relationship I have for him is a crossover but trust me I have many crossover pals for he

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: See everyone I listed above in the friendship question. They can either mentor me or let me be their big sis/mom. But also, I will GLADLY be Merlin or Yen Sid's daughter. (But also would I kiiiiinda wanna be a VexDem daughter? This is the worst idea. Still wanna try)

[starkerintheparker]

starker reclist - canon based fics

Hi Starker fam! To celebrate my 900 followers I decided to finally start posting my humble and very personal reclist. I’ve been planning to do it for a while now but it got way bigger than I anticipated so I decided to split it in 4 parts and will share the first one today. I’ve been around for less than a year and there’s a lot I haven’t read yet so my plan is to update this list as I go. 

Under the cut is part I, solely is dedicated to canon-based fics. I’m a sucker for angst so most of my recs feature guilty!Tony, miscommunication, porn with feels and all that jazz. Hopefully you’ll be able to find something interesting according to your preferences. Oh and don’t forget to leave kudos, comments and spread the love for these authors :) Cheers!

Last updated: 2020/04/18. All new fics added will be marked with ***

• 10 Ways to Woo Your Boo by @darker-soft-starker (NR, 6k, completed)

Summary: By twenty-one Peter Parker had graduated college, scored himself a post-grad job and was a full-fledged member of the Avengers. He had his own apartment, paid his own bills and juggled his time between being a superhero and working enough to cover his rent. So long as Peter was armed with his ID, he was a full-fledged adult in the eyes of the law. Perhaps foolishly, he’d assumed it would make him an adult in the eyes of everybody else too. Keen to be seen as worthy of Tony's heart, Peter enlists the help of his friends and the internet in courting his former mentor.

Review: We all love Ash’s fantastic AUs but this lovely canon-based fic may be one of my favorite works by her. I will never know how she manages the fine balance between angst, humor and romance, I just know it hits me good and takes my breath away. Oblivious!Tony and Peter being a bisexual disaster at wooing, what do you mean this wasn’t in the movies? Sounds canon to me.

• 100-Point Restoration by Destina (T, 8k, completed)

Summary: Tony needs a happiness upgrade; Peter wants Tony. These goals might be compatible. (This story is set roughly five years post-Homecoming).

Review: I just realized this was the first Starker fic I’ve read, and it was back in 2017! I didn’t ship Starker at the time but this author must have done something right because for some reason I couldn’t take my eyes away. This fic is gorgeous. Tony’s voice is amazing, his dynamics with Peter are spot-on and organic - but nothing’s better than watching their feelings unfold, like a soft and warm humming just awaiting for disclosure.

• adult supervision by doveslayer (M, 20k, on hiatus)

Summary: Peter Parker should not keep drunk-dialing Tony Stark after midnight. But more pressingly, Tony Stark should not keep answering. In which Tony tries to convince himself he's doing nothing wrong. warning: underage!Peter tho pretty vanilla imo                                                                                        

Review: My favorite “everything is happening while nothing is happening” fic. Their voices are spot on, the dialogues are clever, and you can almost touch the tension with your fingertips. It’s been a year since the last update but even if this fic never gets finished I promise the read will have been worthy!

• Attached by @paspleurer (E, 7k, completed)

Summary: Tony gets it, he really does. As far as rebounds go, sleeping with your childhood hero isn't half bad. And if what Peter wants is this— just sex, with no strings attached— then Tony will give him this.

Review: Pleurer and Learned Foot have seduced me with the rebound trope. This is a lovely Tony POV with the good old pining + miscommunication combo, plus enthusiastic sex and sweet domesticity. What else could I ask for?

• Covet by RTC anonymous (E, 34k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a new boyfriend. Tony starts drinking again, for unrelated reasons.

Review: I read this fic when I was still warily lurking around the Starker fandom and it blew me away. The sexual tension is so palpable you can almost taste it. There is jealous, guity Tony failing at mentoring and a vulnerable, smitten Peter Parker trying to make sense out of it. RTC anon is a religion.

• Ephemeron by @ramblings-from-elsinore (E)

Summary: "Being around Ned, Peter's reminded how out of place he is. For Ned, the second ever appearance of aliens over Manhattan is the stuff of excited hallway chatter, of where were you when—? Ned’s world wasn’t blown apart and stitched back together. Because Ned doesn’t remember. No one does, except the ones who were there, who fought." AKA, "Tony's relationship with Peter may be unconventional, but they’re unconventional people who have had some pretty fucking unconventional experiences." In which Tony can't stop touching Peter to make sure he's real, and Peter dreams of being in Tony's arms and not disappearing.

Review: I started reading this fic before I joined the fandom and man, what a way to get pulled into this ship. Brace yourself for hardcore guilty!Tony being all over the place plus unhealthy codependency and touch deprivation, all the good things. Reading this is a spiritual experience but fair warning: this is not a happy story, at least not for a long while, so please mind the tags.

• Expiration Date by @learned-foot​ (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Tony knows exactly what this is. First big breakup, go for a fling with a completely inappropriate person. It’s basically a cliché. He kind of thought Peter was better than that, but apparently being brilliant and one of the bravest people on the face of the planet doesn’t mean he’s immune from being a stupid college student who makes stupid college student mistakes. AKA Tony is sure this is just a fling, and he deals with that about as well as you’d expect.

Review: Ahh my beloved rebound trope and my first rec (out of many) by LF! Between a pining, insecure Tony making all the wrong decisions and a young and confident Peter unwilling to let him go, this fic makes your heart ache in the best ways. Good thing LF only works with happy endings!

• From Thy Bounty by @ibby-writes​ and feyrelay (E, 31k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

Review: I’ve lost count of how many times I reread this insanely hot and ridiculously well written fic. Besides the A+++ characterization, there is delicious food porn foreplay followed by a breathtaking cat and mouse game that culminates with no less than 13.5k of intense and unapologetic sex with feels, my favorite kind. Enjoy the meal! ;D

***Gift of Choice by tuesday (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark had a thing about giving Peter stuff.

Review: This is my favorite fic by tuesday and the PERFECT rendition of our beloved sugar daddy trope. Great pacing, amazing dialogues and a breathtaking build up that makes you both smile and sweat in anticipation. They’re so in love I almost can’t handle when they finally get together. Sexy, hot and very sweet.  

• here is my hand, my heart by belatrix (E, 16k, completed)

Summary: Mostly, Tony had tried not to look. He still does. Try, that is. It’s just― it’s getting a little bit harder every day.

Review: I have a HUGE soft spot for this beautiful masterpiece, because it was the fic that finally made me join the Starker fandom. I’ve reread it so many times and it never fails to amaze me. Through an atmospheric non-linear narrative, this shows a guilt-ridden Tony Stark trying and failing to resist one determined Peter Parker who won’t take bullshit for an answer. Hot, and angsty, and breathtaking.

• I know that you got Daddy Issues (And I do too) by feyrelay (E)

Summary: The one where Peter’s blue balls save the world. Because, yeah? That meandering, blooming thing between him and Mr. Stark? That relationship that continues to be maddeningly legal, platonic, and above-board, but still somehow haunts Peter’s wildest wet-dreams? That might just be the key to Strange’s endgame.

Review: This fic is a love letter to those who appreciate an angsty and nuanced slow burn like me. Possibly the best character study I’ve ever read combined with a clever, well researched and intricated plot. Reading this will make you fall even more in love with Tony and Peter as individuals, before wanting them to be better together. Make sure to also check all related fics under the tag DIEU (Daddy Issues Extended Universe) - the Starker verse we fucking deserve.

• if I am the river, you are the ocean by sadonsundays (E, 7k, completed)

Summary: The one where Tony can't sleep and Peter can't stop his hands from shaking.

Review: This is a gorgeous recovery fic, painful and heartbreaking, yes, but still very gentle as Tony and Peter’s relationship quietly unfolds. Pepper is an absolute treat which was refreshing to me. I just love the quiet and angsty undertone that guides their journey until they finally find home in each other.

if you’d grant my love a pardon by belatrix (M, 2.5k, completed)

Summary: The first time, it goes something like this: “No,” Tony says, but it’s tired, half-hearted, not quite a denial.

Review: One of the reasons why I love this ship is that there’s always room for angst, even when they’re already together. This lovely yet heartbreaking fic mirrors Tony’s fragile heart as he realizes that as much as he should, he just can’t let go of Peter, not quite yet. Belatrix writes guilty!Tony’s headspace like nobody else and I just can’t recommend her writing enough.

• in the light of a dying star by @areiton​ (M, 6k, completed) fix-it

Summary: Extremis isn't a guarantee. That's what Pepper told him, as they took him off the bloody, dusty field. It was just a chance. A desperate gamble.

Review: I’m so glad I read this right after Endgame because this is the fix-it Tony and we all deserved, this fic is so comforting and beautiful. I really love the quiet, ethereal atmosphere and how it shapes our perception of time and character development. Peter is beautifully written and their get together made my heart ache in peace.

• In the Morning by @cagestark​ (M, 6k, completed)

Summary: Peter's pretty stressed. He isn't understanding physics despite all the extra time he is spending with Bruce. And underneath it all, something is wrong with Mr. Stark.

Review: Heart wrenching and painfully honest fic, where Tony is a jealous mess and Peter is his usual earnest, sweet and good self. They meet in the middle, and it’s quiet, beautiful and sad.  

• Kiss Me by @ironspi​

Summary: Five times Peter and Tony almost kiss and one time they did.

Review: This fic was such a lovely surprise! It begins unpretentious and it builds up to quality pining and unresolved sexual tension. Chapter 4 is particularly awesome, so charged and intimate. Kudos to the author for exploring Peter taking the lead and making Tony melt in his arms.

• Landslide by spqr (M, 8k, completed) fix-it

Summary: Peter jumps into the quantum realm with his heart in his throat. He steps out in 2018, on the edge of a lake he still has nightmares about. A hundred yards away over the water, the lights in the lakehouse are on.

Review: Morally ambiguous characters + angsty time travel? Count me in. This fic has a very interesting (and darker) take on Peter post-Thanos, in his raw and desperate grief over Tony. Bonus points for amazing dialogues and a fix-it plot so clever and believable I’m surprised I didn’t see it on screen.  

• lean on me now by @areiton​ (G, 9k, on hiatus)

Summary: He’s so tired, and he hurts, the kind of screaming pain he’s struggling to ignore now, and he wants to go home. But he can do this. He can sit and watch, and keep them safe. A wry smile tugs at his lips because he knows how ridiculous that sounds--a kid keeping Avengers safe.

Review: One of the best canon divergence fics I’ve ever read. It’s quiet, angsty and Peter’s voice is simply amazing. My heart breaks for Tony, but I’m so here for Peter & Rhodey’s brOTP, the fandom deserves more of it.

• noticing by @areiton​ (NR, 2k, completed)

Summary: “You deserve to be happy,” Rhodey tells Tony once, when Tony is drinking and conflicted and Peter is sleeping unaware on the couch. Tony watches him, eyes bright.

Review: How could I ever resist seeing Tony and Peter’s relationship development through Rhodey’s protective and thoughtful gaze? Any Tony stan should read this fic because this is the kind of love, friendship and support he deserves. Reading this put my mind at rest, knowing Tony’s cared for, and safe.

• Obvious by @learned-foot​ (M, 14k, completed)

Summary: When Peter wakes up, several things become very clear all at once: he’s underground somewhere unpleasant, something is messing with his powers, and his entire body hurts. A lot.

Review: WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP *victory dance* god this one is brutal, but we can trust LF to bring on full angst with an intriguing plot and A+++ characterization. I’m so here for protective!Tony doing whatever it takes to keep Peter safe, including all the confusion and heartbreak his problematic decisions may bring.

• Permission by @cagestark​ (E, 16k, completed)

Summary: During drinks with the Avengers, Peter admits that he enjoys orgasms more when someone is giving him permission, though since he's single, there isn't anyone in his life to offer it. Generous Tony offers to offer it.

Review: This fic is unique and so very hot, but don’t let the smutty summary fool you. There is also tenderness and FEELS in capital letters. Despite their arrangement, pining!Tony is so vulnerable and so completely in love with Peter it kinda breaks my heart a little, but thankfully Cage is a big fan of happy endings like me, so we’re all safe in her hands.

***Post-Endgame NYE by @darker-soft-starker (M, completed)

Summary:  Five years after the events of endgame Tony is resurrected. Months after that, he's still trying to find equilibrium

Review: Hands down the loveliest ‘flirting on a bench’ I’ve ever seen, and my top favorite NYE Starker fic. I love to see Tony facing an existential crisis while he navigates his new life post-resurrection, including the violent realization of ‘oh no, Peter’s an attractive adult now’. Gentle and gorgeous get together, kudos at Morgan for being a little devil and playing matchmaking.

• Proxy by @cagestark​ (E, 11k, completed)

Summary: Peter wants to know if Mr. Stark knows, like, anybody who’d be willing to make out with him. Things escalate from there.

Review: I have such a big soft spot for this fic because “by proxy” is one of my favorite tropes and Cage explored it masterfully. Again, this is pining!Tony at his best and Cage just has this ability to transform what once started as a sexy little thing into this soft and gentle love story, the kind that gives you butterflies in the stomach.

• Radar by @intoxicatelou​ (M)

Summary: Peter could say that he’s officially approached desperation, but he wants this, wants Tony, and he’s willing to do everything it takes. Or the one in which Peter tries to become Tony's celebrity crush from 2009 in order to seduce him.

Review: This is one of my favorites self-indulgent fics, I just can’t resist the good old “Peter’s seduction handbook” trope and intoxicatelou delivers it beautifully. This story is sweet, super fun and relatable af. There’s A+ pining, Peter being a bisexual disaster and MJ being the queen we all stan, shocking absolutely no one.

• Revelations by RTC anonymous (E, 127k, completed)

Summary: “I still don’t get it,” Ned says. “How you just... keep being ordinary in spite of all the craziness you’ve lived through. You were in space. You helped Iron Man save the universe. And nobody knows it was you.” His tone softens, becomes almost sad. As though he realizes that what he’s saying is so completely alien to him that he will never be able to understand this part of Peter’s life. “Peter, don’t you want people to know you for who you are?” An AU where they get the Gauntlet off of Thanos that first time, on Titan.

Review: I feel like I don’t need to justify this choice – almost everyone in the fandom has either heard of or read this masterpiece, it’s safe to say this fic is part of the Starker Training Wheels Protocol lol. If you have just arrived or is just exploring the fandom and enjoys slow burns I suggest you start right hee because it doesn’t get any better than this. There’s A+++ characterization, breathtaking pining, insane sexual tension and a very satisfying ending if I may say so. Definitely among my top 3 Starker fics. RTC anon, wherever you are, please know you are loved and appreciated. I’ll literally build an altar for you.

• Reversal by @learned-foot​ (E, 4k, completed)

Summary: Sometimes, Tony is the one who needs to be praised.

Review: For once Peter makes Tony just lie down and take 😊 the fucking 😊 praise 😊. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this fic all my life. This is the praise kink Tony (and we all) deserve, genuine, gentle and powerful. If you’re a big sap for their love like I am, you’re in for an emotional ride because this is overwhelmingly sweet to the point it brings tears to your eyes. LF is such a gift to this fandom.  

• Settling by @cagestark​ (E, 5k, completed)

Summary: Peter really wants to be taller than Tony. Heels help.

Review: One of my favorites by Cage, I still remember how happy and giggly I felt when I first read it. There is A+++ characterization, amazing dialogue, Avengers domesticity, praise kink, the hottest blow job and my favorite Starker first kiss. Oh, did I mention Peter in heels and Tony loving every moment of it? You’re welcome :D

• Stipulations by RTC anonymous (E, 70k, completed)

Summary: Peter Parker’s long term dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in... And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

Review: Another fandom classic by our irreplaceable RTC anon, this fic is SO GOOD I keep coming back to it and just recently I realized I’ve built all my personal Starker headcanons out of it, lol. A+++ characterization and hot, delicious pining is a given with this author, but I’m really here for that senses-dialed-to-11 trope, and RTC delivers it masterfully.  

• subtle by @areiton​ (T, 1k, completed)

Summary: Peter is not subtle. He wears his emotion, his excitement, like a flag waved bright red and teasing for a bull—impossible to go unnoticed, impossible to ignore. It’s adorable and it’s Peter, and it’s—in hindsight—why Tony misses the context clues.

Review: This fic is like reading poetry, a balm to the heart. Peter wears Tony’s colors and by the time Tony finally gets the context clues they fall together in the gentlest, softest way.

• Take it slow by tuesday (E, 13k, completed)

Summary: There were a ton of reasons dating Peter was a bad idea. Tony loved bad ideas. He was going to do it anyway. In which Tony thinks they're dating, and then they're dating undercover.

Review: This fic is so endearing it’s basically impossible not to cheer for these two, despite their usual infuriating communication issues, lol. But I promise all the angst and wait are worth it, because there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing how they (finally!) get to be on the same page.

• the record spins on the trails we blaze by @darker-soft-starker​ (NR, 5k, completed)

Summary: Years after the events of Homecoming, Peter thought all of the bad memories were well and truly behind him. After all, so much has happened since then - and he's happy now. Everything is kinda perfect.Turns out nothing stays buried.

Review: Hell yes! I agree HoCo’s events were particularly traumatizing and this trope is not as explored as it should be. To put it simply, this fic is something I didn’t know that I needed and Ash delivered it beautifully. It’s incredibly gentle, cathartic and honest, not to mention the lovely domesticity and understanding between the characters that will make your heart swell.

• Under Someone Else by @learned-foot (M, 7k, completed)

Summary: Peter realizes he’s just a rebound. And he’s okay with that, really. Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

Review: FEELS, FEELS EVERYWHERE. It’s so hard to choose a favorite fic by LF but this is the first that comes to mind because it introduced me to the amazing rebound trope. It’s so refreshing to see this ship’s potential for angst and miscommunication playing into the “fuck first, talk later” scenario. Warning for vulnerable boys being idiots and breaking our hearts but P.P.P.S they do eventually get their shit together and it’s glorious!

• Up for Anything by tuesday (E, 8k, completed)

Summary: When it came to Tony Stark, Peter would take what he could get. In which Peter believes he's just a rebound. (Not Endgame compliant.)

Review: Of course there’s yet another gorgeous rebound rec because I can’t get enough of this trope. Honestly, LF and Tuesday writing for each other have provided some of the best fics this fandom has, God bless them. This is another treat featuring pining!Peter and the usual “I can’t communicate properly how much I fucking love you”, but there’s also bantering, delicious dirty talk and so much affection that you’ll read it all with the biggest smile on your face.

[kawaiikatchi]

My Thoughts on Case 4 for Great Pretender (Part 1 of 2)

SPOILERS FOR CASE 4(EPISODES 15-23) PLEASE GO WATCH BEFORE READING

-------------------------------------------------------

For some reason, I have a very complicated relationship with Case 4. Whenever I think about it, it feels like two parts of myself are having a debate with one another, and I can't decide who is winning because they're both right.

Let's just start from the beginning. Keep in mind that I've only watched this chunk of episodes once, so this will be my honest first impressions of how I think the show concluded (does anyone know if we're getting a season 2???).

THE GREAT

To start off with a lot of the positives for this case, I LOVED the heart to heart moment that Edamura and Laurent had at the beginning. It felt very necessary, considering that it was rare that these two would sit down and talk about something serious. It was nice, even if you're not looking at it through a shipping lense like I am (yes, I ship Laurent and Edamame, and no I will not feel ashamed) that Laurent could give him advice considering that they both fell into becoming con artists because they had no real path in life. As we learn more about Laurent's backstory through this arc, it becomes a lot more obvious that Laurent sees a bit of his younger self in Edamura, but his comment about doing what Edamura thinks is right shows that Laurent, at least on some level, recognizes the fact that Edamura isn't Laurent, and he has the freedom to be whatever person he wants to be despite what the blonde confidence man may want for him.

I also enjoyed this case when it explored Edamura's charcter (even though it kinda came at the expense of Laurent's character, but we'll get there). He definitely has been through the most highs and lows (actually mostly lows) of the series, making his decent to the darkside all the more interesting. I wasn't all that worried that he would betray the team or die when it was time to put the last phases of their plan into motion, (heck, we had two boat scenes where four people in total seemingly "died" yet they all turned out to be alright) but I was definitely worried as to how all this was going to affect Edamura's mental state. Throughout the series he has repeatedly gotten the short end of the stick, attempting to make his own life decisions only to find out Laurent was one step ahead of him. Then in one of the most crucial moments of the show, Edamura's good deed unintentionally gets two of his closest allies killed, making him go into a murderous rage and killing his own father. At least, that's what it looked like on the surface. Until he finds out that that too was a part of Laurent's plan, and once again it seems as if nothing Edamura does will ever be of his own free will. There is one line in particular that kinda hits different after now finishing the show, and it's what Edamura says to his father after finding out the truth of what's been going on behind the scenes.

"Everything Laurent had me do until now was a practice run for this, wasn't it?....I'll do it...Just like I'm told." (Episode 21)

At this point in the story, Edamura has completely given up control of his own life. He tried at one point to write his own destiny, but it got people hurt in the process. Even hearing the fact that the deaths were staged just reaffirmed the idea in his mind that nothing he ever does will truly mean anything. It's all just a game where someone else will always be the one pulling the strings. I think this is also one of the main reasons he stayed so close to Akemi Suzaku. He knew that all he could do is play the part they told him to play, because he had no more fight left to go against it. That and they'd probably kill him if he tried to leave again, and he may or may not have viewed her as a mother figure after his mother passed away. In the case of switching sides and betraying Suzaku Akemi, his life wouldn't really be that much different than what it already was. Sure he wouldn't be helping with illegal trafficking anymore, but he'd still be following someone else's plan for his life. It would just be a matter of which plan he's going to follow, Laurent's or Akemi's. Either way, he loses.

This is when I think the advice that Laurent gave Edamura at the beginning is the most applicable (funny how Laurent was giving him the solution to the problem that he started without even realizing it). The advice from earlier is also emphasized to a higher degree by Abby when she says:

"You're no longer trapped by gravity. Malice, envy...You can be free from everything. That's what you said. Who you decieve or betray is totally up to you. Do what you like. Just...forgive yourself. That's what saved me." (Episode 23)

This speech that Abby gives to Edamura is perfect in every sense of the word. Instead of saying something like "hey you better not betray us", she communicates to Edamura very eloquently that the problem isn't whether or not he'll betray Akemi, Laurent, Abby or Cynthia, but rather if he will choose to keep betraying himself. Will he keep giving up what he wants for the sake of others? He needs to decide that on his own, and once he finds his answer he needs to forgive himself.

At first glance, I thought "well Makoto ends up contributing to the success of Laurent's scheme, so what's the difference this time?" The difference: Makoto is in the perfect position to betray Laurent, plus he has every reason to do so, but he doesn't. Because that's not who he is. He's not Laurent. He's not his father. He's not Akemi. He's Makoto Edamura. For probably the first time in the series, Edamura is able to make Laurent follow his plan instead of the other way around, outsmarting him and showing everyone that he is the only one in charge of his destiny. He's not helping with the con for his allies, Akemi or Ozaki. He's doing it for himself.

Changing subjects completely to another thing that I liked about episodes 15-23, is that I did enjoy what we did get of Laurent's development. Despite the fact that later in my review, I'm gonna kinda complain about Laurent's story (more of just from a story structure perspective), Great Pretender KNOWS how to make a charcter's backstory engaging. They also seem well equipped to write romances, as I thought that Laurent and Dorothy had some definitive cute moments together. It was intriguing to see how the ever confident Laurent got his start as well, and how he grew to become who he is today. In addition to that, I loved how the show was able to bring us back to the first episode by showing the important events that led up to it (especially how Laurent met Abby and Cynthia). For some reason, I'm a sucker for when shows try to pull the "remember when it all began" nostalgia card for their own show. Very well executed.

Finally, the last great thing that I'll mention about the Great Pretender finale, was the ending. I wasn't sure how I felt about it upon first viewing, but after some deliberation, it just makes sense. The group ends up going their separate ways while still staying somewhat connected. Abby looks like she's become a bit of a traveler, while Edamura is journeying to taste a bunch of different coffee (fitting). Cynthia is taking care of a kid named Kawin, who looks like he might be considering becoming an artist (Cynthia will always be surrounded by artistic people, she has no choice lol), and Laurent is working for the president of the United States I guess???? All of these life decisions are just believable enough for me to buy it, so I won't complain. I guess I just have a bit of bittersweet emotions towards the ending, since the characters seem so content with where they are now, but I was kinda hoping for a another season of their shenanigans. I really need to stop getting attached to shows right before they are about to end. However, if this was truly the end of the Great Pretender series, I'm glad it ended in the way that it did. I feel conned.

Next time: the not so good, but still decent things about Great Pretender Case 4.

(Continued in Part 2 of 2 (Coming Soon))

[anna-sofia]

wedding day memories ( james potter x reader )

Summary- while you're preparing for your wedding you think about all the good times TW- none :) A/N- this is my first fan fic pls be nice! Months of planning, picking flowers, and cakes out, fittings for dresses and suits had led up to this day. I had been telling everyone around me that I wasn't nervous and everyone believed me, except for James. James had always known me better than any of my friends even before we started dating in 5th year and he was chasing after my best friend, Lily Evans. I remember the day he proposed like it was yesterday: It was our last day at Hogwarts and we decided to spend it by the Black Lake with all of our friends. “Love,” James called out for me with a smile on his face, “ I have to grab something inside, come with me?” I nodded my head “yes” and put my hand out for James to pull me up with. Remus, Sirius, and Lily all shared a knowing look from behind us. As we walked towards the castle, James became more visibly nervous. “James, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale, do you want to go see Madam Pomfrey?” I questioned him while turning my body towards him. “ Love I’m okay” He responded, voice still full of fear. A few moments of comfortable silence passed as we walked towards the Gryffindor common room. Just steps before the common room James stopped, “You know I love you right?” he asked timidly as if he was putting his whole heart out for everyone to see. “Yeah of course I do, you tell me every day,” I replied, you could almost hear my eyes roll in my words. He looked at me intently, as if he had something important to say to me, staring into his eyes, I wondered what he was thinking about, “James, what’re you thinking about?” James snapped back into reality when he heard my voice, “Oh, uh, you, us, our life,” he responded “ Mum and Dad have been diagnosed with Dragon Pox, the doctors say they don't have much longer.” he said sadly “Oh James I’m so sorry,” I said with a frown “Is there anything I can do to help?” words laced with sympathy. “Yeah, actually there is,” his voice perked up at his words, “You could marry me.” "Langman?" Lily called out "Oh, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you, where have you been?" she asked "I've just been here, thinking," I gestured to the chair I was sitting in near a window, " Remember the day James proposed?" " Hell yeah I do," Lily said with a chuckle, " I've never seen two people crying more in my life!" She said with a solemn smile, she knew that this was a hard decision for both of us with the war and Jame's parents, " Well come on now Langman, now isn't the time to think about James! You have the rest of your life to think about him, lets get you ready for your wedding" Lily called back towards me as she started walking towards my bridal suite. As I started walking towards the suite I couldn't help but think of me and James' first Hogsmeade trip: He asked me to Hogsmeade the morning of our trip. Typical James right? Yes, but this time there was something different with him, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Our trip went the same as it has since 3rd year, we went to Zonkos, then to Honeydukes and lastly to the Three Broomsticks. I only realized that this wasn't a normal outing when he tried to kiss me after we finished our butterbeer. I panicked and ducked out of our booth and rushed back to Hogwarts. Did Remus tell him about my feelings? Or was it Sirus? Either way, this was bad, James was known for playing pranks on people, I just hoped that he wasn't playing one on me. A week after our "date" I had taken to avoiding him and it was so much harder than I thought it was going to be. Going from being with someone practically 24/7 to leaving the room when they entered was a big shift. James was fed up with the silence between us so he decided to do something about it, he started it so he was going to finish it. So one day after the school day was finished, James spotted you in the corridor walking with Marlene and Lily. Pulling your arm and leading you into an abandoned classroom, he turned towards you after locking the door. "What the hell Langman? Why have you been avoiding me?" He barked at me, still holding my arm "I think you know why James," I responded crankily, "James can you let go of my arm? I've got to get back to my dorm." "Langman. We need to talk about what happened at the Three Broomsticks," James said sternly, "I thought you liked me but I guess Sirius was wrong" "No, Sirus was right. I've loved you for so long and I just never expected you to like me back since you were so caught up on Lily," I said pulling my arm out of his hand and reaching up to frame his face with my hands, " I backed away because I was afraid this was a prank, I never expected this to be real" "It's very real and I am all yours" Memories of James and I quickly fading when I heard knocking on the door. Lily and I's head turned towards the direction of the noise, Lily promptly burn the back of my neck, Sirius's head popped out "Hello ladies, are you close to being ready? Prongs is being impatient as always and is asking for Langman" Sirius said with a light chuckle, you couldn't see but he was 'just bought a motorcycle' happy for James. "We'll be ready soon Sirius, Langman just has to put her dress on" Lily responded, Lily was just as excited as Sirius was. As soon as Sirius left the room, Lily looked as if she was about to burst into tears. "Lily, what's wrong?" I said as I started to reach up to her face to wipe away the tears, "Is something the matter?" "It's just, I-I'm not ready to let you go! I've known you for so long and I'm so happy that you're marrying James, but especially after Marlene died you've been my only best friend." Lily cried out into my hair as she hugged me so tightly one might have thought that I was dying. "Oh Lily, you daft woman, you don't have to let me go! You mean just as much, if not more, as James means to me. Our house is always welcome to you. Now stop crying and help me get into my wedding dress!" My voice laced with fake anger. Once my wedding dress and veil were on, it was time to start heading towards the hallway before the chapel. My nerves were all over the place, but I knew that once I said "I do" all the nerves and burns would be all worth it. Minutes, that felt like hours passed, my music started playing, which was my cue to grab my father's arm and start walking down the aisle. As I was walking down the aisle, I couldn't focus on anything other than James. All over his face were signs of just pure joy, I hadn't seen him this happy since Gryffindor won the House Cup back in 7th year. Once all of the prayers and words were spoken had gone by quickly and it became time for the vows, James and I decided earlier that he would go first so that I could laugh at the crying mess he would inevitably become. James cleared his throat in preparation "Langman and I met when we were both in our 1st year of Hogwarts. She was the best friend of the girl who I thought was the love of my life, sorry Lily. When I first met her I never thought that I would be standing here today about to marry her. I have a short story to share about our first kiss. The first time that I ever kissed Langman was in 5th year, it was right after a quidditch game. She was on the Hufflepuff team, a beater, and I was on the Gryffindor team, a chaser. I ran up to her drenched in sweat, still holding my broom and I kissed her. But I missed it, so I tried again, and I missed it again, but on the 3rd time, I did it. You would think that I James Potter Star Chaser, would have been able to make a goal on the first try, but alas you if you thought that then you were wrong. No matter the fact that you ran away from me on our first date or that we missed the first time we kissed, you still manage to be the love of my life. I can't wait to call you my wife" as James finished his vow, he looked up to see his future wife wiping away tears. After the wink that James gave me, I decided that it was my turn to start my vows, " Like James said just a few moments ago, we met in 1st year. But what he fails to mention is that we didn't formally meet until we were in our 3rd year. I only met him because Lily was complaining about him so much that I took it upon myself to go and try and set him straight. So I guess I have Lily to thank for everything. Anyways. James and I didn't always get along, in fact, we still don't get along that well. Throughout the years that I have known James here are the main few things that I have learned about him: 1. he is the MOST loyal person you will ever meet, he will always stand up for you no matter the cost, 2. James LOVES muggle romance movies with a passion, he says that the romance is almost "magical" 3. James says he's a dog person but in reality, he's a cat person, don't let his facade of a dog person fool you he is a SUCKER for a kitten. James, thank you for loving me when I felt I didn't deserve love or was worthy of it, I truly cannot wait to call you my husband." quickly after the end of my speech I heard a few sniffles in front of me, looking up I saw my soon to be husband with a few tears rolling down his cheeks. "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. James Potter!" Sirius said as we sealed our vows with a kiss and started running down the aisle, starting our new life together. ~The End~

[laketaj24]

Sew Lovely

Author’s Note: Yay! Got another! Firstly, I am a sucker for small-town romances; they genuinely make me happy you just don’t know! Lol! I hope you enjoy this ship love!!

Warnings: Mentions of Smut

M A S T E R L I S T

Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader

Info: My three hobbies: I’m currently learning how to sew on a sewing machine, I loooove gaming and I also love working out! I was going to the gym 4-5 a week before everything. Three things I love about myself: my bubbly personality, my ability to empathize, and my lips (lol) I don’t have kids now but I want them! Can you make this ship between Henry and all his characters?

I ship you with Clark Kent/Kal El

Reasons:

Clark Kent has a charming, soothing personality, but he also has the prowess to dominate if he needs to, he’d instead let someone else control the reigns. I feel that he would allow you to take the reigns and step forward only when he needed to.

The Meet:

Your one-time hobby had melded into full-blown artistry, in the window of your new shop swung a single dress. Now, this dress, in particular, was essential to you because it wasn’t perfect. The sleeves were uneven, the hem was crooked, and neckline plunged so low it could never be worn, but this was the first dress you ever completed. Perfect or not, this dress was an accomplishment. You stood in front of Sew Lovely with your hands planted firmly on your hips and smile gracing your face.

“Took you long enough.” Your new neighbor said across the street. “Looks good.” He said before he waddled back into his restaurant.

Smallville was beautiful, you hadn’t lived here long, but you refused to pass up the storefront and the allure of the town. It was charming, and you had charming things to offer. Plus, three months here and already, you had made new friends, and that was all that counted.”

“There she is! The woman of the hour.” Martha Kent made her way down the sidewalk with someone in tow, carrying more food than she had brought over an hour earlier. She was determined to make this grand opening grand, and for that, you were grateful. “Clark, place the food down, would you and say hello to Y/N for me.”

Her son was not what you expected. In your mind, you picture a young teenager, unruly hair, and an attitude to match, not this bulking tall, strapping sex pot in front of you. Clark, you assumed, sat the box on the table and then made his way over to you. The tight gray shirt accentuated every curve he had.  “How are you?”

Your heart fluttered against your chest, but the words still somehow bounced out there. “I am…” you flourished the store. “Sew Lovely.” You grinned.

He snickered. “Curious question, hope I’m not evasive, Is that an example of what’s inside?”

You laughed and shook your head. “No, but it’s some of my best work.” You watched as his face flushed red, and his brows raised. “Are you judging me, Mr. Kent?”

“Not fair, I don’t know your name.”

You shrugged and grabbed one of the sandwiches from the table. “Guess you’re out of luck.”

Clark’s eyes looked you over, and he smirked. “And here I was thinking I was just starting to have some.”

The Ship with him includes:

Clark is not very open at first, but that’s fine because you do all the talking, and he loves it.

He likes watching you hold conversations with yourself. Finding the problem and the solution then congratulating yourself.He especially likes watching you doing this while gaming. Doesn’t even play himself... he just watches you perfect the craft

He is not the first one to make the first move for the first kiss, you are, but he follows your lead well pinning you against the barn and making you breathless

Clark does not interfere with your dreams, and he is very persistent in making sure you follow yours.

Even though Clark doesn’t have to workout, he does workout with you, at your pace and encourages you.

His favorite thing about you is your lips too, he likes the way they feel when they touch his spot, the line of his shoulder.

Clark opens to you after he knows he can fully trust you, which is after the first time you too have sex. It was in the back of his truck and was highly unexpected for both parties.

Sex with Clark was intriguing, he tried to be gentle but as excited as you two were it was near impossible… accidentally reveals he’s superman when you two start to damn near float during sex.

Random trips around the world just because

Being the only person that genuinely understands, Superman is not quiet. He was at first, but now he can talk about hours, and you often fall asleep to the sound of his voice.

His mother is one of your best friends, and because of that he loves you more

He doesn’t tolerate people messing with you in any way, and though he seems docile, he will fuck them up if he has to, even if it means randomly destroying their shit.

Though he’s an alien in ways… he’s traditional as hell… will for sure ask you to marry him on one knee on the Smallville water tower.

You better say, yes.

Clark would want kids too!

One boy, honeyed skin dark hair dimpled boy and a girl but it would not be New York in your future

You and Clark would lead the Smallville life and there everything would be so lovely!

 Side Note:   So my ships are not open unless they are commissioned! For Ship requests, they can be submitted via Asks if paid by Venmo (laketaj30) Cashapp (laketaj30). If you prefer to use Ko-Fi HERE is the Link. Ko-Fi will then tell you the same guidelines below! The ships I create will be 500-700 words and specialized for you. Guaranteed within 7 days, and I keep open communication during that time. This is helping me get back to school, and I appreciate all donations.

[couslandofhighever]

1,42,101 for the da ask, please!

Thank you so much for asking! I’m excited to interact in this fandom.

1. How did you get into Dragon Age?

I got into Dragon Age last month. My best friend bought Dragon Age Origins for me when Steam had their summer sale. She has been pretty heavily into Dragon Age for a couple of years now. I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but I feel like it has to have been at least two years.

Actually, her getting-into-Dragon-Age story is a lot more interesting and dramatic than mine. It had something to do with being overworked around Christmas, and I wasn’t around to help alleviate the stress/boredom or something, and so she just pushed all her work aside and tried DAO again. She told me she had tried several times before and hadn’t really gotten into it, but that time it stuck. Then, for months and months pre-pandemic, she would come home and play one of the Dragon Age games while we interacted with each other online. It was a bit of a running gag.

Anyway, if it weren’t for her, I would never have taken the leap. I’m not that much of a Game Person. Often, I feel like video games sort of steal my time without giving me much to show for it outside the realm of the game itself. I think Bioware games are, for any faults they may have, pretty good at avoiding that particular pitfall. A few years ago, I also played the first Mass Effect game because my best friend liked it. I really enjoyed it, but I think that when I started Mass Effect 2, I got distracted and also found the gameplay a bit harder than I found DAO once I got into it on easy. I am... not a skilled gamer, nope.

Friendly fire is absolutely terrifying to me.

My best friend says I should at least try the minimal amount of friendly fire the next time I play, and she is trying to persuade me to play DA2 on normal when I start.

Dragon Age has come along right when I needed something. I’m a multifandom type person, and I never really disavow a previous fixation unless it left a really bad taste in my mouth. But I am very cautious at first about which things I let myself get fandom-level involved in. But at the same time, I sort of feel the need to have a hyperfixation (I’m not diagnosed with anything in particular to explain it, but I do think I have legitimate hyperfixations) to feel mentally healthy. I feel like having a mental escape actually helps me focus when I manage to find an equilibrium, even if it can sometimes become a tad disruptive.

Especially with the lack of things going on in my life right now, the escapism is especially helpful. My world is the same almost every day beyond real life stresses, so having Thedas to escape into is giving me much needed brain stimulation and chemical variety.

I’m also a big fan of sort of franchise-format stories. Sometimes franchising out hurts narratives more than it helps them, and the sprawl can be a bit dystopian on a real-world level, but I’m still a sucker for interconnected stories.

It also really appeals to me that the player characters in this series are semi-defined but also leave room for self-determined characterization. I love writing, but I don’t like original worldbuilding on my own. It gives me a great opportunity to practice characterization when I usually feel more confident about portraying canon characters only in fic and stuff.

Dragon Age is kind of like an otome (which is too boring), an eroge (with both the appeal and the cringe), and a Bethesda game got together and had a baby. It gives me the best of all of these and something more, too.

I am a bit nervous about the fact that the next game is going to be different, and I’ll have to mentally adjust, but this is a mechanical concern more than a narrative one.

42. Who do you wish you could romance that you can’t?

Since I’ve only played DAO and most of Awakening, it’s hard to say if there are others yet. But my answer for this one is that I refuse to believe that Morrigan is straight. Let her be bi!!! Please. I’m sure there is a mod to do this, since I know there are mods that will make Alistair interested in men, but I am more passionate about the fact that there is no way I actually believe that Morrigan is only interested in men. It’s okay to be straight, but she is not no matter what they say.

Even more ideally, let my Warden date Alistair and Morrigan in some world state.

I plan to be male characters in the next two games my first time around, which is exciting. If I were gonna be female I would probably be upset that I couldn’t date Dorian, but I don’t want them to make canon gay characters bi for that reason.

101. If you could meet your Warden, what would you say?

I would probably have a conversation with her about her concerns about being a mother, or more about becoming one being very difficult for her. Since I have outsider knowledge that this may be fixed someday.

[treya-barton]

It’s a bit late but @ragewerthers tagged me for this list of fic preferences so I thought I would give it a go 😊

Rules: Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences and tag some more people!

———————-

Slow burn or love at first sight? 

I’m definitely a fan of slow burn.  Both when it comes to writing and when it comes to reading.  I just love seeing characters getting to know each other and building up that trust until they suddenly realize what their feelings mean. I think also since I need to get to know a person first before I truly find them attractive it’s harder for me to get into love at first sight.

Fake dating or secretly dating?

I’ve definitely written stories where characters are secretly dating and haven’t revealed it to their friends yet, but I’m kind of a sucker for the fake dating and then fall in love trope in movies/dramas/fanfiction…  It’s just so fun to see them fight it at first and have all the sexual tension until the feelings arrive.

Enemies to lovers or friends to lovers?

100% friends to lovers.  Most of my pairings are childhood friends or best friends.  I sometimes do a rivals to lovers but even as rivals they’re still best friends or nakamas.

“Oh no there’s only one bed” or long distance correspondence?

Out of the two options the there’s only one bed scenario is a tried and true for a reason.  There are so many different ways to handle it and you can have very different types of stories each time.  I think I’ve read too many stories where the long distance correspondence was handled in a way I didn’t like which makes me wary when it comes to those stories.

Hurt/comfort or amnesia?

I am a total fan of slight angst with a fluffy ending.  I’m not usually a fan of amnesia.  

Fantasy au or modern au?

This one is a hard choice because I’ve written several fantasy AUs but I think reading wise I often like seeing characters in a modern or normal day to day setting since I love slice of life.

Mutual pining or domestic bliss?

Again while I’ve certainly written mutual pining which is bound to happen for a slow burn, I really enjoy established relationships with a domestic setting.  

Smut or fluff?

I write a lot of fluff and enjoy seeing characters just being happy with one another. I’m also more particular about what I like in smut.  Well written smut is amazing though and I have a lot of respect for people who write it well.

Canon complement/missing scenes or fix it?

I definitely have re-written endings *coughs*FFXV*coughs* so I fall more within fix it.  Honestly though I usually write post-story stuff exploring what happens after the game/series ends and how things progress.  I’m not usually as interested in rewriting scenes or adding to scenes in the game/series unless it’s specifically as a fix it.

Alternate universe or future fic?

Uhhhh…see above.  I pretty much exclusively write future fics and AUs.  So I can’t choose ._.

One-shot or multi-chapter?

I realized that I’m kind of treating this like a writer instead of a reader for a lot of these haha  I enjoy writing multi-chapters because I get to do more with plot and characters and love coming up with world building and an outline tying everything together.  Same thing with reading really well-done multi-chapters – I love seeing what will happen next. That’s not to say that I don’t love one shots and don’t sometimes just look for one shots when I don’t want to invest time in a multi-chapter (I tend to binge them so I have to be in the right mindset).  I also enjoy one shots because I’m usually doing them for ask prompts so I get to try to write something creative around a theme which is a good writing exercise for me.

Kid fic or road trip fic?

I literally played FFXV because it was centered around a road trip.  I will choose a road trip every time.  There’s just something fun about going on a road trip with friends/family and the weird conversations you’ll get into, singing along to music, and the different places you get to stop at and see.

Reincarnation or characters death?

I don’t think either are really ones I typically go for but I have read some good FFXV reincarnation fics.

Arranged marriage or accidental marriage?

I actually prefer fake marriage just like the fake dating earlier XD  So I’m just going to make up my own choice here.

Neighbors or roommates?

Like half my Souyo stories are them being roommates in college so…

High school romance or middle-aged romance?

I think because I’m an adult now I like to read stories about characters going through adult life.  Goes along with enjoying future fics and their life post game/series.  Also domestic bliss and just the every day to day life.

Time travel or isolated together?

I don’t feel like either of these are things I’ve typically gone out of my way to read?  I choose isolated together because of stuck in elevator stories, stuck in a cabin in the snow etc.  I guess those are forms of isolated together stories although they’re very much short term isolation.  

Sci-fi or magic au?

While I’ve definitely read and written both I am totally a sucker for sci-fi. Star Wars is my favorite movie series and while I read both fantasy and sci-fi growing up I’ve always been drawn to the whole space exploration and visiting new planets genre.  What’s fun is when you mix both together and have magic and technology 😊

Body swap or genderbend?

I’m going with genderbend as in the way it’s used in shoujo or kdrama stories where a girl dresses up as a guy for whatever reason and the guy falls in love with her.  I’ve definitely enjoyed several series with that theme, with Coffee Prince probably being my favorite.

Angst or crack?

Only if it’s angst with a happy ending and doesn’t go too dark.  Sometimes I’m in the mood to write/read angst. Crack fics on the other hand are a lot of fun and sometimes I just need a good laugh.

Apocalyptic or Mundane?

I love slice of life/domestic bliss.  What can I say lol

And now to tag some other players:

@livefreeordie13

@romeo-and-antoinette

@skye-maxwell

@thermopylod

[justalittlelitnerd]

By A Thread by Lucy Score

We weren’t touching. But it felt like the space between us was charged with something. It was acting like a defibrillator on my heart.

This book had everything I want in a romance: a sassy, non-damsel heroine and a hero with soft boi vibes (I am a complete sucker for assholes covering up soft, warm centers). 

Don’t let the office romance aspect dissuade you (it’s obviously a common, but controversial trope in romance b/c power dynamics and whatnot), this is not ~in my experience~ a conventional office romance. 

First, Ally only ends up working at Dominic’s company after he gets her fired and his mom (who’s also his boss at the magazine she also owns) makes the job offer in reparation.  

Second, in addition to the two characters being completely at odds from the first meeting (he got her fired after all), Dominic is staunchly against an office romance not only because of his own values and awareness of power dynamics but because of his father’s history of sexual harrassment and assault. When they eventually fall into bed together (because duh this is a romance) he immediately offers to quit his job so the power dynamics of the office wouldn’t be an issue. 

That being said Dominic is an overbearing, and at times straight up controlling, son of a bitch (sorry as Ally would say his mother is lovely) and it made me want to throat punch him sometimes, but at the same time so did Ally’s stubbornness and pride. 

Score has a talent though for balance because any time Dominic started to get out of control, Ally wouldn’t hesitate to go head to head with him and speak her mind and the honesty and directness was refreshing. 

The ending felt a little bit rushed because clearly Dominic was trying (although in ways that were grossly overbearing and were exactly what Ally didn’t want him to do) and she made it clear that she couldn’t forgive him and I wanted more of a conversation or thought process to why she finally did aside from “that’s what love is.” 

This book was fun and funny and sarcastic and their banter made the story flow and is definitely the main reason I would consider rereading this romance.

Keep reading for some top notch quotes!

It wasn’t out of the kindness of my heart. I had neither kindness nor a heart. I considered it atonement for being an asshole.

Clearly, she wasn’t intimidated by an asshole in Hugo Boss with a haircut that cost more than her entire outfit. I basked in her disdain. It was miles more comfortable for me than the terrified glances and “Right away, Mr. Russo”s I got in the hallways at work.

It had been too long since I’d squashed a disrespectful underling. I itched to do it now. She looked not only like she could take it but that she might even enjoy it.

“Fine. But if she poisons me, I’ll sue her and her entire family. Her great-grandchildren will feel my wrath.” My mother sighed theatrically. “Who hurt you, darling?” It was a joke. But we both knew the answer wasn’t funny.

I knew he felt it, too. That unexpected jolt. Like taking a shot of whiskey or sticking a finger in a light socket. Maybe both at the same time. For one moment of pure insanity, I wondered if he intended to take me over his knee and if I’d let him.

I’d assumed they’d all get used to me. Apparently I’d assumed incorrectly. I was the beast to my mother’s beauty. The monster to the heroine. When they looked at me, they saw my father.

Her tone was steely and anger all but crackled off her. I hoped she got the guy’s balls in the divorce.

“You know, you’d be a lot prettier if you smiled once in a while,” she mused, fluttering her lashes. No wonder women hated it when men said that.

It was fucking cold. February was right around the corner, and if there was anything colder and damper than January in New York, it was fucking February. Of course, fashion didn’t heed below-freezing temperatures. No. Fashion made its own rules outside of time and space and temperature.

I, on the other hand, didn’t trust myself to survive even basic contact. Ally was only safe, my soul was only safe, as long as I didn’t touch her.

He was looming over me, but rather than threatening, it felt intimate, careful, almost safe. Like I wanted to be exactly here with exactly him.

Tell me the top five things you hate STAT. (This is the secret to finding out just how bad a person is in case you need it for interviewing future wives or human sacrifices.)

Somewhere along the line, she’d started talking to me like we were friends. As if that moment of honesty in the bar, those emails exchanged, had somehow made us friendly. And while I craved her next confession, I also couldn’t handle the intimacy. I was ripped down the middle. Torn between wanting to know everything there was to know about this woman and wanting to forget she existed.

I hated it when she walked away from me. It always felt like she took the light and heat with her. I added that to my Hate List.

Those blue eyes weren’t cold now. There was a victorious fire burning in them. And I was acutely aware that I was in immediate danger.

My heart was trying to blast its way out of my chest. I didn’t know where the organ had gotten actual sticks of dynamite, but that’s what was happening. My insides had turned to lava… or magma, whichever metaphor was most appropriate.

“Lots of people dance for money. Prima ballerinas, Jane Fonda, Laker Girls, back-up dancers, Rockettes. All women who make money by moving their bodies. There’s nothing remotely shameful about it,” Faith insisted. “You aren’t doing anything wrong. And anyone who tells you that you are is—” “Part of the patriarchy.”

I hoped to God security was up to the challenge tonight. Because if anyone laid a hand on her, one single finger on her, I was going to lose my shit.

I wondered if I was leaving a trail of body glitter behind me like I was a Questionable Life Choices Tinkerbell.

If mystery bothered him so much, this son of a bitch—wait, no. His mother was a lovely human being. This alphahole was going to suffer. I’d make sure of it.

I wanted to believe in my bones that he was doing this as some stupid mind game, that he got off on playing puppet master with my life. But deep down, I was worried that it was something much, much worse. Dominic Russo was trying to take care of me.

I was so pathetically happy that she was speaking to me in multisyllabic words I would have let her slap me across the face with the folder.

I walked back into the room feeling like Cinder-freaking-rella. If Cinderella’s fairy godmother had given her a sexy, skin-hugging gown the color of crimson or, as I liked to think of it, Dominic Russo’s crushed heart.

Everyone was hitting the open bar like it was last call, and those little appetizers were doing nothing to soak up the liquor. It was entertaining, but I had a feeling this is how bad things happened at office Christmas parties. Inhibitions lowered, tongues loosened, and shit went down.

Oh, boy. I’d heard rumors of Drunk Dominic. But they hadn’t prepared me for the reality of him. He was adorable… and in no way capable of functioning as creative director right now. I needed to get him home.

Damn it. My shattered broken heart was trying to knit itself back together just so it could fall for him all over again.

I hooked my pinky around his and tried not to fall in love with the idiot when he pressed his lips to our joined fingers.

Nights like these changed lives and were retold as stories for years to come. But I didn’t know what my story would be. Would it be the time the up-and-coming designer made me temporarily semi-famous? Or would it be the night I finally realized my heart belonged to a man I was never going to be with?

Tacos and home renovation supplies with an entrepreneur, a male exotic dancer, and a drag queen on her day off. Just another glamorous day in the life.

I spent the rest of the day on the couch, which delighted Brownie. We watched the entire first season of The Great British Baking Show and then three episodes of Queer Eye. I was inspired to order and to eat an entire sponge cake from the bakery three blocks over and pondered growing a beard. Then I pondered what Ally thought about beards. And the shame spiral began again.

“I’m not hiding this,” Dom said quietly. “I don’t think I could even if you asked me.” Okay, coming from Dominic Russo, maybe that was kind of a swoony thing to say. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was real. These feelings felt real.

“I don’t need to be saved.” Dalessandra and I blinked at each other as the words came out of both our mouths in unison.

I wanted to take care of her. I wanted to take her worries and concerns and problems and solve every last one of them so she could focus all of her attention on me. And Brownie of course. I wasn’t a completely selfish monster.

I didn’t want her drawing lines when I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to redraw them properly. She would live here. She would have anything and everything she needed. No one would ever take advantage of her or lay a hand on her ever again. End of fucking story. I was her Prince Fucking Charming.

“Dom, of course people are going to talk. Trying to avoid being a topic of conversation is a pretty lame way to live life. Sometimes, accepting the discomfort is how good things are earned.”

It was disconcerting to wake up one day and find myself… well. Here. Making plans for two instead of one. Looking forward to sharing things like beds and weekends and closet space. I’d dated before. But I’d never gotten this deep, this fast. I’d never made space in my home for a woman before. Change was happening, and I didn’t know how I felt about it.

Ally didn’t bitch-slap, but Faith did it like it was an Olympic sport and she was a gold medalist.

“Everyone has baggage, Russo. Most of us are just smart enough not to hurl full-sized suitcases at the people we love.”

But sometimes an inch might as well be a mile. And I didn’t know how to cross it. I didn’t know how to ask him for what I needed. Because I didn’t know what I needed.

[lovemesomerafael]

Others Like Me                                  Chapter 10:  Spain

Chapters 1-5     Chapter 6     Chapter 7  

Chapter 8   Chapter 9    Read it on AO3

Most of the team sleeps on the way back to the Compound, but only Bucky gets on the plane, takes a seat, and sleeps until they hit the tarmac in New York. Actually, he doesn’t sleep the entire time; he wakes up a few times, blinks, remembers, and forces himself to go back to sleep again.  He knows he can’t just sleep until he feels better, like he used to back in Brooklyn when he had the flu.  But it’s working for now.  

He doesn’t dream, at least that he can tell.  Too exhausted, maybe.  

It doesn’t escape him that, every time he wakes up, Steve’s sitting next to him. Sometimes he’s asleep, too, but mostly he’s reading or talking softly to Clint or one of the soldiers.  Bucky wonders if Steve knows how much that helps.  Probably.  But when he can, Bucky’s going to tell him, anyway.  He can’t, right now.  But he can reach out and take Steve’s hand where it’s resting in Steve’s lap.  So he does.  Bucky closes his eyes and goes back to sleep, so he doesn’t see Steve spend the next hour staring at their clasped hands, or feel the tear that escapes to fall onto Bucky’s fingers and then roll down onto Steve’s.  

Back home, it’s morning and Bucky can’t sleep anymore.  He looks around for something to catch his interest, but he doesn’t want to sit still, he’s too tired and sore to work out, and his stab wound isn’t healed enough yet to go for a run.  So he just prowls the compound like a tiger in a cage, restless and melancholy. He’s glad there’s no one around. Steve and Clint are here somewhere, but Tony, Bruce, Natasha, and Sam have all stayed behind to help the Troops figure out their next steps.  Scott’s gone back wherever he came from.  It’s quiet, and there’s no one to be bothered by Bucky’s edginess and constant roaming.

Eventually, he unpacks his gear and works on cleaning and repairs, just for something to occupy his hands.  His mind’s kind of fuzzy, which he figures is probably a good thing.  In his mind, he’s replaying the operation to destroy the bunker and free the Troops, like he always does after a mission, but mostly he’s trying not to think about anything.  He doesn’t want to think about Marya, and he’s not ready to think about Steve.  

The next week goes kind of like that, although every day’s a little better than the last.  Tony gets back and he’s full of ideas for the Troops.  The twelve who are staying together have chosen to live in Spain, in the Basque country west of Bilbao, and Tony and the other Avengers have an idea for a compound sort of like this one, if a little more self-sustaining.  The first thing the Troops did was to choose names for themselves, real names, rather than their number designations, which Natasha thinks is a good sign.  She’s helping them start figuring out the real world, and Sam’s helping them begin to process what they’ve been through and done in their years as Hydra captives. Bruce is working on plans for the compound, which Tony is, of course, financing.  

Steve explains to Bucky that there’s more to this than mere altruism.  The Troops are still dangerous as hell, yet extremely vulnerable.  It’s critical that The Avengers keep in close contact and on good terms with them so that they don’t just become the pawns of some other organization like Hydra, or worse. Besides which, they’ll be great allies if needed in a fight.  

It hurts to hear about them.  Bucky wants to be there; he knows he’s their “brother”, and he should be there.  But he simply can’t.  Tony is full of funny stories about the Troops misunderstanding common turns of phrase, and it reminds Bucky so much of Marya he feels it like a knife in his gut.  He’ll get there.  He knows he will, and it won’t be that long.  But not today, and not next week.  Nobody’s rushing him.  

Steve’s not rushing him into anything, either.  For the first month, that suits Bucky fine.  Their friendship was in such tatters a short time ago that it’s nice, for now, to start simply.   When Bucky had first been rescued from Hydra, he’d been a mess, and Steve had simply been present, letting Bucky set the tone and speed of their reunion.  After that, when Bucky was fully Bucky again, he’d tried as hard as Steve had to recapture the easy intimacy of their friendship and, for the most part, they’d succeeded for a short time.  But things had fallen apart when they’d tried to rekindle their romance.  The romance wasn’t the problem – God knows that wasn’t the problem – but every time he’d tried, Bucky had found himself unable to keep from pulling away, so shamed and disgusted by himself he couldn’t bear to let Steve get close.  The more Steve had pushed, the further Bucky had retreated, until he’d finally decided the least painful alternative for them both was to give up on ever being able to let Steve love him again.  They’d both been so frustrated that they were barely speaking even before Bucky had been abducted and met Marya.

Things are different now.  They’ve been repairing their friendship since before the bunker, even when Bucky was with Marya.  And when she’d told Bucky that she wasn’t coming back with him - that he was ready to be with Steve again, where he belongs - Bucky had known she was right.

It’s taken Bucky this long to get over the shock and initial grief of Marya’s death.  These days, however, he can think about her and smile.  It still hurts like a bitch, but the truth is, she’s been gone almost as long as she was in Bucky’s life.  And Steve’s here.  

They’ve started training together again, which is what they’re doing right now. The serum lets them beat the crap out of each other if they want to, knowing everything will be pretty much healed by the next day.  But Bucky’s been noticing that, lately, he wants to tackle and wrestle Steve a lot more than he wants to punch or kick him, and he knows exactly what that’s about. It’s time.  He thinks Steve’s there, too, but he won’t make a move.  Every time Bucky tries, Steve gives him this “let’s take it slow” speech, the exact opposite of what he did when Bucky really needed to take it slow.  It just wouldn’t be their relationship if they didn’t fuck things up ten ways to Sunday.

Steve’s just thrown Bucky over his head to land with a thud flat on his back, knocking the breath out of him for a minute.  Bucky’s smiling.  He would be laughing if his lungs were currently working, and Steve’s being a complete smug dick about it.  When Bucky catches his breath, Steve makes the mistake of reaching down to help him up from the mat and gets his feet swept out from under him.  In less than a second, Bucky’s got him pinned and his legs trapped with his own.  

“You’re such a sucker!”

“It’s called manners,” Steve huffs.  “You should try it.”

“Make me.”

For the next few minutes, Steve tries to do that, but Bucky’s having it all his way. The end result is a lot of writhing around while Bucky’s lying pretty much fully along Steve which is, of course, Bucky’s entire intention.  

“All right, fine,” Steve sighs disgustedly.  “You win this one.”

“Uh-huh.  Now gimme my prize.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kiss me.”

Steve’s instantly on alert.  He frowns and goes all concerned.  Bucky rolls his eyes.  “Shit, Steve, it’s just a kiss.  I’m not askin’ you to marry me.”

“I know, Buck, but I’m trying to do things right this time.  Tryin’ to take it slow.”

“Fine.  Kiss me slow,” Bucky grins.

Steve’s uncertain, but Bucky’s not, and he also happens to be kind of a shit. So he starts rubbing against Steve, leaning down to within a fraction of an inch of his lips, and not letting him get away.  “C’mon,” he purrs.  “What’re you afraid of?”

“Not you, that’s for sure.”

“Then fuckin’ kiss me, punk.”

Steve does.  Bucky can feel that he’s into it, and he’s breathing hard, but he keeps the kiss gentle and almost chaste.

“What am I, your sister?”  Bucky growls. “I said kiss me.”

That works.  The next thing Bucky knows, he’s the one lying under Steve, who’s straddling him and kissing him for real.  It’s about time.  

It feels glorious to have Steve’s hot mouth on his, kissing him hard and invasively, all tongue and moans.  Bucky keeps trying to grind against him, and it works for a few minutes, but then Steve pulls back and rolls off of Bucky.

“What the hell?  Come back here,” Bucky groans, reaching for Steve, who moves a little away.

“Can’t help it, Bucky, you’re just so damn sexy.”

“Which is a reason to come back over here, lame-brain, not move away.”

“No, but, I just don’t wanna start something we can’t finish.”

“Why the hell can’t we finish it?  I want to finish it.  That’s kind of the point I’m makin’ here.”

“It’s too soon.”

“Buddy, it’s been too long.”

Bucky reaches for Steve, who stands up and moves a few steps away.  He pulls his fingers through his hair, clearly troubled. “C’mon, Buck, stop it.  You know I can’t resist you.”

“Then don’t!”

“Dammit, Bucky, this isn’t a game.  I love you.  I’m tryin’ to do right by you.”

Bucky sits up, sighing in frustration.  “OK, OK. Look, I know that.  I just…  I want you, Stevie.”

“Yeah, I got that message.  And I’m right there with you.  But I’m playin’ for keeps here, Bucky.  I pushed too hard before.  I’m not makin’ that mistake again.”

“Even if it kills me?”  Bucky’s voice is half-shriek, half-whine.

“If it didn’t kill me before, it won’t kill you now.  Quit bein’ such a baby.”

Bucky smirks up at Steve from where he’s sitting on the mat.  “I’m not gonna quit tryin’.”

“Good.  Don’t. Because I’m not always gonna say no.”

 As good as his word, Bucky continues to try to seduce Steve.  Steve’s maintained his boundaries so far, but Bucky’s been steadily eroding them.  Steve’s willing to make out, shirts optional, and he’s OK with them getting a little handsy sometimes.  Bucky’s even been able to get him so worked up he agreed to mutual hand jobs a couple times, but so far he hasn’t been able to get Steve’s pants off.  It’s been frustrating in the extreme, but it’s also been the right thing to do.  Bucky’s never going to give Steve the satisfaction of telling him that, but he knows it’s true.  

Three months after the bunker mission, Bucky goes to Spain.  Natasha’s experiences are similar to those of the Troops in many ways, and that’s already proved to be a very good thing on a number of occasions.  They’re free and adapting much faster than anyone expected, but they’re still traumatized and living in an alien world.  Natasha has some things she needs to take care of, and she thinks Bucky needs to be there in her absence.  It’s definitely time for him to help out, and he feels ready.  

In the hangar, Steve kisses Bucky good bye and they agree they’ll see each other in two weeks, either at the Compound or in Spain, if Bucky’s still there.  

“I been thinkin’ maybe, when you get back, we could talk about makin’ some changes around here,” Steve says, holding Bucky close and whispering in his ear.

“Yeah?  Like what?”

“Like, maybe… sleeping arrangements.”

Bucky pulls back, completely surprised.  “You son of a bitch!  You say that to me now, when I’m leavin’ the country?”

“I thought it’d be good for us to, you know, think about it first.”

“Oh, I’ll be thinkin’ about it, all right.  C’mere, you.”

Bucky kisses the daylights out of Steve for a full five minutes before the rest of the crew making the flight begin to be obvious about their impatience. Smiling into Steve’s eyes, he says, “I love you.  I’ll see you in two weeks.”  Then he wiggles his eyebrows.  “Naked.”

“You really know how to ruin a romantic moment, you know that?”

Bucky hugs Steve again, chuckling, and Steve whispers, “I love you, Buck.”

 Marya’s brother, now called Dmitriy, meets the Quinjet with a truck, to take Bucky and the others, and the supplies they’ve brought, back to where the Troops are building their Compound.  They won’t find it without an escort, and even if they did, they wouldn’t make it past the perimeter that’s been set up.  

Dmitriy and Bucky introduce themselves, never actually having spoken before.  It’s a solemn moment when they first stand in front of one another.  It’s a little jarring when Dmitriy speaks Spanish; Bucky had just assumed he’d speak Russian.  When he asks about it, Dmitriy shrugs and says they speak the local languages for everyday.  They’ll stand out less, and there’s something symbolic about choosing to live their new life in a language other than Russian.  

Bucky nods, and mentions that he’s been on missions in this part of Spain and speaks Basque in addition to Spanish.  Dmitriy smiles.  “I thought you might.  You are our brother, after all.”

“I haven’t been much of a brother up to now,” Bucky admits, chagrined.  “But I’m here now.”

“Sergeant, I never had the chance to talk to Marya about you and her.  There was no time.  But I’ve been told enough to appreciate the fact that you mourn her. I understand and, if it makes any sense, I’m thankful that you care that much.”

“I do.  I loved her, Dmitriy.”

“Then we have that in common, along with everything else.”  

Bucky doesn’t quite understand why the hard hug he and Dmitriy share feels so healing, maybe something about knowing that Dmitriy feels Marya’s loss as much as Bucky does.  But he knows from that moment that he wants to make a friend of Dmitriy.

“You can call me Bucky, you know.”  

“No, Sergeant,” Dmitriy says with a grin he doesn’t even try to hide.  “I can’t.”

That gets a belly laugh from Bucky, even though Dmitriy’s resemblance to his sister when he says it hurts like hell.  He supposes he better strap in for a lot of that while he’s here.

 As promised, when Bucky’s been in Spain for two weeks, Steve comes to the Compound for a few days.  Bucky’s part of Dmitriy’s work crew framing the first building of the Troops’ Compound, now that they’ve dug and poured the foundation, so he can’t be there to welcome Steve.   He’s more than a little aware of what time Steve’s arriving, though, and he sees the truck arrive.  

Dmitriy has proven to be every bit the smartass Marya was, and insists that the crew can’t do without Bucky until they get done with the section they’re working on and break for lunch.  His shit-eating grin tells Bucky he’s well aware of the situation, but he refuses to relent. As they work, Bucky keeps expecting to see Steve come walking out of the grove of trees where the Troops are currently housed in a large grouping of yurts, but he doesn’t.  By the time noon arrives, Bucky’s pretty much bordering on blue balls and about ready to give Dmitriy a demonstration of what his left arm can do.  Finally, he hears Dmitriy give a shrill, melodic whistle and jumps, rolling as he lands, from the building’s ridgepole to the ground.  As he strides rapidly toward the yurts, removing his toolbelt as he goes, he hears Dmitriy’s deep laugh follow him.

Steve’s not in Bucky’s small yurt when he tears the door open, but to Bucky’s utter joy, he sees that Steve’s dropped his bag on the end of the bed.  Bucky feels another jolt of arousal as he realizes that means Steve’s staying here.  With him.

As he stalks over toward the biggest yurt, where he thinks Steve must be, Bucky belatedly realizes that he was so anxious to see him that he’s forgotten to put a shirt on or wash up.  He can tell that a lot of his hair’s pulled free of the elastic at the back of his neck, because some of it is in his eyes. But he immediately forgets again when he finds Steve deep in conference with Bruce and Sam, going over blueprints and details of the water system they’re building. Once Bucky sees Steve, he doesn’t see anything else.  He only dimly realizes that Steve’s practically drooling, staring at Bucky’s sweaty, dirty bare chest and flushed face.

They just stare at each other long enough for Sam to roll his eyes and groan disgustedly.  “For fuck’s sake, you guys, I’m gonna get pregnant if you keep lookin’ at each other like that.  Go be alone, and remember yurts have fabric walls.  Damn.”

Bruce blushes and looks down at the table covered with blueprints, drawings, and plans.

Bucky and Steve are in each other’s arms instantly, and they hold one another tightly for so long that, when they let go, they realize that Bruce and Sam have left the yurt without their realizing it.  Their mouths meet hungrily, greedily, and that takes a long time, too.

“I saw your stuff on my bed.  You stayin’ with me?”  When Steve opens his mouth to answer, Bucky says quickly, “And you should know that the only answer I’m gonna accept is yes.”

“Yes,” Steve smiles widely.

It’s hard for Bucky to kiss Steve the way he wants when he’s smiling so much, but he’s also suddenly way too horny to kiss much, anyway, without ending up fucking Steve right here on the floor of Bruce’s office.  

“I made us a picnic,” Bucky says breathlessly.

“Really?  That’s what you wanna do right now?”

“Sam’s right.  Yurts have fabric walls.  And it’s beautiful here.  There’s a hill about a mile away with a clearing.  Sunshine, blanket on the grass… You… Me…”

“Fuck,” Steve gasps.  “Sign me the hell up.”

They practically run to pick up the packed picnic supplies Bucky’s stashed just inside the door of his yurt and get to the clearing.  Steve doesn’t spend much time smoothing out the blanket, just shakes it out in front of him and then pulls Bucky down onto it.  Bucky doesn’t mean to literally tear Steve’s shirt off, but he also doesn’t give it a second thought when it happens.  Feeling Steve’s bare chest against his, the solidity of his muscular body in his arms, the heat and need in his kisses, is like air to Bucky.   He doesn’t know how he’s going to let go long enough to get Steve’s jeans off.

“I love you.  I love you so much, Stevie.”

“I love you, too, Buck.  You’re mine.”

“Yeah.  Fuck, yeah, I’m yours.  Always been yours.”

As it turns out, Steve’s not able to let Bucky go any more than Bucky can let go of Steve.  They end up clasping desperately at one another, mouths open to each other and tongues stroking each other when they remember, grinding painfully hard cocks together until they both come, hissing filthy praise and their love for each other.

“Jeez, Buck, we haven’t done that since we were seventeen.”

“’Bout time, then,” is all Bucky has to say between kisses down Steve’s jawline.

“We’re gonna be a sight walking back into the Compound.”

“There’s a creek,” Bucky mutters, moving lower to take a nipple into his still-greedy mouth.

“Fuck.”

At long last, after months of hot but frustrating make-out sessions and heavy petting, Bucky pulls Steve’s jeans off and takes all of him in for the first time. The sight is enough to make Bucky’s own jeans uncomfortable again, and he quickly peels them off.  Steve’s already hard again, too, and he makes a sound that’s almost a whimper when he sees Bucky reach into the picnic hamper and pull out a bottle of lube.  

“Planned this all along, huh?”

Bucky snorts.  “Sweetheart, I’ve been thinkin’ about fucking you pretty much nonstop for the last two weeks. Damn straight I planned this.”

Steve cries out as Bucky softly touches his hole wit warm, slippery fingers. “I ever tell you how fucking sexy you are?”

Bucky’s smile is almost too happy to be the predatory leer he’s going for.  “Tell me now, while I make all those dirty thoughts come true.”

“I love you,” Steve begins, his words broken and breath hitching as Bucky begins to lick lightly at the head of his cock.  “You’re so gorgeous.  I saw you in Bruce’s yurt just now and I just about lost it right there- oh, shit, Bucky! Fuck, your mouth is a lethal weapon…”

Bucky chuckles and begins a slow but definite rhythm, sliding his finger in and out of Steve while he continues teasing him with his tongue.  Steve’s moving his pelvis, letting Bucky know how fast to go.  “So fuckin’ good,” Bucky murmurs, sliding another finger into Steve as he relents and takes Steve’s cock into his mouth.

Steve’s shout of pleasure is a definite reason to be a mile away from the closest other people.  

“Oh, fuck, Bucky…  You feel so good.  I’ve wanted you for so long.  I…  Oh…”

“You gonna come, Sweetheart?  Yeah, come for me.  Oh, I would love that…”

Bucky barely gets the words out before Steve’s fucking into his mouth and screaming – there’s no other word for the sound he’s making – as he shoots down Bucky’s throat.  Bucky could easily come from watching that, just rubbing against the blanket on the soft grass, but he wants to be inside Steve when he comes next.  

By the time Steve’s starting to relax a little, Bucky’s got him fully ready and, although he just came, Steve’s still hard.  Gotta love that serum.  

“Fuck me, Buck.  Please, Baby, I need to feel you – us together – it’s been so fucking long…”

Bucky feels like he’s been waiting for this moment forever, and when he raises up on his knees, lifting Steve’s thighs to give himself a little more room, it feels like here, pushing his cock gently into Steve is the place he’s always supposed to have been.  He’s surprised to feel tears burn at the back of his eyes.  Despite the awkward stretch it takes, he leans over and kisses Steve’s lips, buried completely in the man he loves.

“Stevie…”

“Ungh...”

“I’m yours.  Always.”

“Mine.”

“Yours.  And you’re mine.”

He has to grit his teeth a little, but he wants to enjoy this moment, stroke after stroke, for as long as he can.  The sun is warm on his back, and there’s a sweet smell of green in the air, and Steve looks absolutely perfect lying beneath him, eyes boring into his, glowing with exertion and pleasure.  When he comes, Bucky doesn’t shout.  He whispers, breathing hard, “I love you, Steve.  I love you.  I’m yours. I’m yours…”

It’s dusk before they wander back into the Compound, holding hands and smiling quietly.  When they enter Bucky’s yurt, they see that someone has laid out supper for them on the table. Bucky knows they’re welcome at the communal evening meal, which makes this gift all the more thoughtful, especially because there’s nothing Bucky and Steve want more right now than to be alone together.  They can hear voices outside, and see the warm, flickering light of a few campfires, but it’s just a comforting backdrop for the small, blissed-out world inside the yurt where only the two of them exist.

 One of the reasons Steve’s at the Compound is that they are going to finish the mop-up of their destruction of Hydra.  On the day they’d taken the bunker, the team had purposely allowed Hydra the opportunity to call for help, to see who would answer.  Sam and Tony had destroyed the three helicopters that responded and, with support from Natasha, the Troops had traced them to a group The Avengers hadn’t known existed.  The Troops learned all they could about them.  It was as bad as they’d feared, and not something they could allow to grow.  

With the Troops, Steve and Bucky spend a few days destroying the group and its facility.  Bucky sees what Steve meant when they’d discussed this earlier.  The Troops are far too dangerous and naïve to be abandoned to their own devices, and they’re invaluable allies.  Besides caring deeply what happens to them, Bucky sees the wisdom of making sure their little community succeeds, and that The Avengers are the foundation for that success.

It’s an opportunity for Bucky to bond further with Dmitriy, and for Steve to get to know him.  Sitting around a fire back at the Compound the night they return from the raid, the three get as drunk as supersoldiers can, mild and temporary as alcohol’s affects on them are. They speak English, because the U.S. Army has never had Hydra’s focus on languages.  Steve could learn them ridiculously easily, as they all can, but he hasn’t bothered much.  They talk about a lot of things, enjoying each other’s company and making informal plans for the future.  

“I gotta ask, Dmitriy, about that scar on your face,” Steve says, slurring his words just a little.  “How’s someone who got the serum develop a scar?  I never do.  Bucky doesn’t.”

“We don’t, either,” Dmitriy answers.  “I think I must have had this before the serum.  I don’t ever remember not having it.”

Bucky asks, “Are you guys gonna work on that?  Your memories, I mean?  Bruce has some theories.”  

“We already are.  More with Sam than Bruce, though.  Nobody’s very comfortable with the idea of doctors, period, and we’ve had about enough of people playing with our minds.”

“Amen to that, Brother,” Bucky mutters, and downs the rest of the vodka he’s drinking.

“We’re more focused on the future.  As you know, we don’t really know what the serum does long-term.  We want to build a life here, which means we need to know some basics about what we can expect.  Our life spans, whether we could ever have children, those kinds of things. That’s what Bruce is working on, when he’s not designing septic systems.”

They enjoy a quiet laugh about that.

“And you two?  It’s not much of a secret that you’re having some sort of reunion, and it’s definitely not a secret what kind.”  Dmitriy smirks.  “What’s in your future?”

Steve looks at Bucky like he’s pretty much perfect and Bucky finds himself expecting a twinge of pain and shame that doesn’t come.  

“Whatever it is,” he says, squeezing Steve’s hand and looking into his too-blue eyes, “It’ll be together.”