#but i am SO tired of these stupid little games im supposed to play

[southislandwren]

Actually I take it all back. I don’t want one or the other I want to pass repro AND I want boy to like me back. Law of equivalent exchange I know. Just take something else from me. But I want both and I want to know what’s going to happen

[1800duckhotline]

im new here and missed your bg3 phase entirely can i hear what makes the game so sucks for you (or ill go look in the tag! fine too). i love to hear people bitchin about games everybody else doesnt wanna criticize

omg hello... first of all welcome to my twisted mind etc. my blog is an array of a completely random agglomeration of interests so im sorry if i shift from posting from x to y at the speed of light LMFAO. my bg3 obsession phase was definitely a strange exception but i guess it is what it is

and def i can give u the sparknotes version of my criticisms for the game, which are both rational and not and you're free not to agree and so forth, i'm just one guy expressing an opinion which i think i'm entitled to since i've played this game for over 200 hours almost i am fairly sure. i was not okay.

obviously i'll be mentioning spoilers fyi. i got long here but i promise this is just the Resume of my actual opinions

i hate the fact everyone sounds british except minsc or jaheira. i just dont like it. like a few characters here and there its nothing that bothers me but i'm tired of british accents in fantasy media. it makes things more of a snoozefest

for a game that prides itself on characters being reactive and interactable (esp companions) more often than not the companions reactions have been disappointingly lackluster and straight up Sad because they're so Nothing. i.e. durge reveal

i think not having tav/durge voiced was stupid. my onion!

the game is not as revolutionary as people make it out to be when it comes to character design and good lord the character creator to me is offensive. the companions are all EXTREMELY SAFE when it comes to 'conventional beauty standards', and while i'm not surprised nor did i expect any less, the lack of body diversity to me is just so... boring. it's so nothingburger. like i love projecting hcs and shit but i wish i didn't have to do that

wyll having so little in terms of content and writing and reactions in the game compared to astarion (and let's also say shadowheart bc on a technical level she's the second favorite of larian) is genuinely the worst thing to me because his concept is charming and interesting and larian just decided to do nothing with him. players that are black and/or poc obviously have said this a trillion times, i'm just echoing the sentiment because i also hate how blatant it is, esp when i read up and watched how he used to be in EA. like not to say the writing there was stellar but he had dimension. larian just does not give a fuck abt him and it is irritating lmao, esp since astarion has tangentially 0 actual involvement with the game's main plot in his arc WHILE WYLL LITERALLY GETS HIS ARC SIDELINED BY THE EMPEROR I FUCKING HATE THAT STUPID TURN OF EVENTS SO MUCH

act 1 is probably the best optimized out of all the acts, with the optimization being probably up to midway of act 2. then it alllllll goes downhill. i said it so much but i never get tired of saying it: act 3 is so poorly organized, so many good ideas all smushed together in an indigestible slog of an act with too many quests flattened in one single serving making it so fucking hard to want to get it done. which is awful, because a lot of poignant plot events and fights happen in act 3. i'm still of the firm belief they should've made an act 4. considering this ties in with the aforementioned issue where wyll was supposed to get more content... and it got cut out 'for time'.

i fucking hate astarion fans. i trust like 2 people that do like him. i genuinely was so indifferent to him in the game. like he's fine as a character. i just dont like him much because of the fans. Again ties in with the wyll issues too because people love to pretend astarion would be in wyll's place in the dancing scene when astarion would call you slurs and kill you if he could

also like think what you will of minthara but i think it's criminal that she's a companion and alongside wyll is left to rot at the bottom of the game's code. it's definitely more egregious for wyll imo but like. idk i also am not a fan of this esp since i discovered halsin was added as a companion because THE FANS begged them to. seething

again, there's people more well equipped to discuss this and i did reblog and share posts abt this before on my main account but the embarrassing fantasy racism is there and it's an innate problem of dnd. i think it should be mentioned and kept in mind regardless if it's done well or not (which i don't think it was).

this is less abt the game itself and more abt the fandom but i genuinely cannot fucking stand people who are so aggressive at users who have sexuality headcanons for some of the characters of the game. i've seen people have SO much fucking vitriol towards lesbians having lesbian hcs, specifically, gee i wonder why. this hasn't happened to Me but i have witnessed it.

i think that's more or less the Issues i have with bg3. you're free to ask anything in specific but like... i dont hate the game. or i wouldnt have played it so much. but it should not have been GOTY to me. sorry. like there's so much i just think is wrong... but im just one guy.

i usually prefer completely different types and genres of games, so obviously i'll be more dissecting towards a game i tried out of curiosity and Liked, but with many grievances. the type of stuff i usually like is also far from perfect but i judge a lot of those things in bg3 because of how the game presents itself as in advertisement and social media posts, as well as just like, the steam page. i have plans in the future to try similar games to bg3 to see if it's a common problem within that genre or if it's the black sheep (for me) but for now it is how it is

anyways i did also like a lot of parts of the game, it's just, i can't really reccomend it without mentioning what i didn't like you know?

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part eleven) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt + BIRDS OF A FEATHER by Billie Eilish

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: innuendos, lots of talk of sex (it's Richie), cursing, brief mention of toxic relationships, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: The Aftermath !!! Also am I angry that Chris Pratt voiced both Mario and Garfield??? Yes I am, and I think Im allowed to be. Enjoy :))]]

Richie Tozier is not a coward. Not really.

He's impulsive (brave some say) and just does shit. Which is why he was here, staring at his phone. Staring at the three words he hadn't necessarily wanted to say but couldn't stop himself. It just... He just always did stupid shit.

And then his phone lit up.

e.kaspbrak

What

Richie Tozier is not a coward. But sometimes shit was scary, and sometimes you run away.

So, without another word, Richie muted his phone and slid it onto his nightstand. He stared at his phone guiltily for just a spare few seconds, before slipping off his glasses and rolling over to his other side. Promptly ignoring the way the ceiling lit up, knowing that it meant he was distinctly ignoring messages from... Eddie. His Eddie. Eds.

He'd deal with it in the morning. He just needed a night, yeah, a night.

And maybe a morning.

He stared at his phone with too early tired eyes, got up, made some frozen waffles, sat down, ate them, and stared at it some more. Fidgetted with his hands, he debated looking at the messages. (Would there be calls, texts? Would Eddie try and get everyone else to harass him too? Would he tell them what had happened? That Richie had just... said that shit. And... And ran away?) Instead, he spun on his heel and busied himself with his comics or maybe his figurines (or maybe both. Probably both).

It doesn't distract him though, not really. It was in the tap of his foot, or the flex of his hand. He was almost completely panicking, but at the same time, there was no fucking way he could look at what Eddie had sent him. It just wasn't... He didn't want for it to come out this way-

Richie was currently on his couch (it was way past lunchtime at this point, he'd been ignoring his phone for hours), death glaring his bedroom door. His eyes set somewhat to the location of his phone, like he could maybe erase the problem if he stared at it hard enough.

Because of course, after Eddie made this genuine speech about wanting Richie. Only wanting him, and all his fucked up pieces. He'd give him another reason not to.

He knows that not all the options are bad, in terms of Eddie's response, but the bad ones are so fucking scary. Richie was in love with him, how was he supposed to handle (potentially) scaring Eddie away? Or maybe he thought he was just moving too fast? Or maybe Eddie just didn't see it that way yet-

Richie threw his head back on the cushion, groaning. This is going fucking nowhere. You're only making it worse.

Maybe Eddie was good with the whole 'in love with him' thing, but now, you've ignored him for hours. He could be fucking pissed. And what the hell could you do about it? Say sorry?

God, he was so fucked. There was no good fucking outcome from this. Trashmouth Tozier is fucking at it again, ruining hi-

There was a knock at the door. Well, if he was honest more like a bang, it was a pretty hearty fucking knock actually. So much so, that Richie almost didn't go move to see who it was. Who the fuck could it be?

Wait.

"Richard fucking Tozier-"

That was one Beverly Marsh. An angry Beverly Marsh.

She got the kind of mad that was all internal, all glares and frowns and just fucking... like you'd brought home a failed test. ("I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.") Bev was a good friend, a fiercely good friend who knew how to call Richie out on his shit. And god, did she have something to call him out on now-

"Richie," she leveled, maybe a little concerned, "-I'm so serious. Open this fucking door."

He might as well bite the bullet, yeah?

With the drag of his feet, Richie pursed his lips and pulled open the door. He was met with a new type of Bev.

She looked particularly ruffled, if he was fucking honest, and her lips pulled into a tight frown. A frown that he distantly recognized... maybe once. And her eyes? Fucking cold blue steel.

"What the fuck-" she pointed a finger into his chest, "-did you do?"

Richie blinked.

"Eddie has been texting me nonstop about you, that you're not answering him, so I-" she stressed it out, pressing her finger into his chest -it stung a little, "-called you and got the same shit. I called you five times in a row-"

"Bev-" he tried, but she only moved forward.

"-and you didn't answer. I was so worried, Rich, and I can't imagine how Eddie felt all the way in New York-"

"Bev-"

"-And I get here, and you're perfectly fine. So that means something is wrong, and that means that you did something, Richie. So, what did you do?"

Richie gnawed at his lip -reluctantly, closing and locking the door, before questioning, "Eddie didn't tell you?"

Bev's mouth flattened into a straight line, eyes turning somehow fucking colder, "Richie."

"Look, Bev, I just... I fucking panicked, okay-" Richie scrambled a little bit -anxiety in his stomach snapping, "-I didn't mean for it to go on all day-"

"What did you do?" Bev repeated, stern.

"-I just... I don't know, I freaked out. And I needed a minute, I guess-"

"Richie," she tried again, this time grabbing his face -setting his eyes to hers, "-I swear to god I will get Stan to fly his ass here from Atlanta, if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on."

Shit, those were the big guns. Stanley cannot know about this, it would fucking disappoint Patty so much. And Richie could never fucking disappoint Patty-

It burst out of Richie just like it did the night before -rushed and impulsive.

"I told Eddie I loved him."

Bev paused, eyes softening and eyebrows pulled together -confused, "Eddie told you that he loved you, and you ran away?"

"No, I-" Richie let out a heavy breath, clarifying, "-I told Eddie that I loved him, and I ran away.

Beverly scrunched up her nose, dropping her hands from his face (all he could read was confusion), "What?"

Richie furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean what?"

"Well," she let out a sigh, "-normally, when someone runs away after a love confession, it's not the one who confessed, Richie."

Richie pursed his lips, what's that supposed to mean?

"Wait," Bev deflected, grabbing her phone, "-shit. Eddie's probably freaked the fuck out right now."

Richie's stomach twisted, bile rising up his throat, "This is exactly what I wanted to avoid, Bevvy. I fucking knew it was too much-"

"Shut up," she raised a finger to his mouth, silencing him, "-That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then, what-"

"Eddie is probably worried about you," she clarified, flicking his nose, "-because, you overthink things. And you didn't even hear him out-"

"I saw his message after," Richie reasoned, maybe a little for his own conscience, "-he just said 'what'. I mean, how was I fucking supposed to take that-"

"Knowing you, Rich," Bev pointed out, carefully, "-you probably said it out of nowhere. So, I give him a pass about being shocked."

"Well, I just thought-" Richie tried, but his side didn't really seem to make sense anymore.

"No," she shook her head, "-no more thinking. Go answer your phone."

"But," Richie decidedly didn't move, "-what if-"

"Richie," she glared, hands smoothing down his shoulders, "-you don't know shit until you see it for yourself. So, for the love of all that is holy, go fucking answer your boyfriend."

Richie pursed his lips, hesitant to take any steps anywhere. He was so fucking scared-

"You know he's probably stressed the fuck out about this," she commented, accusing, "-about you."

Richie frowned. Eddie was probably fucking scared too, had been all night. Fuck-

"I don't want him to be stressed out, fuck-" he breathed out, burying his head in his hands, "-God, I'm so fucking stupid."

"Hey," Bev softened, moving to pull his head down to her shoulder, wrapping him into a hug, "-I think... I think Eddie knows that you were scared. That's why he's losing his shit-"

Richie breathed in her Bev smell (it was a more like feminine smell with a hint of a masculine musk, like a flower just after some rain), and leaned forward into her. It was kinda what he needed, maybe for the past few days. He just needed a fucking hug.

"-because you're scared, and he can't help you."

Fuck.

Richie let out a shaky breath, heart racing in his chest, "Fuck, Bevvy, what if I... What if I fucked it all up? What if he never even-"

"What did I say?" Bev pulled back, leveling his face to match hers, "-No more fucking thinking. You want answers? Go ask Eddie. It helps no one to speculate shit."

"I know, but-"

"No buts, Richie," she shoved him toward the direction of his bedroom, "-go answer your fucking boyfriend, and figure this shit out."

Richie turned back toward her.

"Like now," Bev snapped, pointing toward the door.

Richie smiled at her, a little tight (but to be fair, his anxiety was through the fucking roof), "Thanks, Red."

She lightened slightly, smiling back and stepping toward the door, "Tell me how it all goes. I love you, Rich, but don't test me again though, seriously-"

Richie near immediately chimed back, actually smiling, "Love you too, Bev."

She rolled her eyes and motioned him through the door further -eyes glinting in a way he didn't want to test. Richie obediently did so.

That brought him to now, staring at his nightstand and that dreaded fucking phone.

It was just as overwhelming as it was the first time, staring it down and not quite being able to grab it. Like he physically couldn't. Like everything in his body was fighting it. But, now, now there was something else in his mind.

Eddie, in his tiny apartment, clutching his shirt like he always did when he was anxious and tapping his foot so much that it shook the coffee table. Big brown eyes staring at his phone like it could get up and walk away. Like if he looked away it would disappear and he really didn't want it to disappear. Richie remembered when his breaths would get so fast, and he'd talk himself up-

Richie didn't hesitate to grab his phone.

He was confronted with a growing list of notifications, spanning from a range throughout the night. Missed calls and texts every hour or so. Had he even slept last night? He thumbed through the notifications, calculating the time difference in his head.

Richie frowned again, No. He did not. Or at least, not more than like an hour.

God, Eddie-

His hands moved to Instagram, instinctively. Throughout a slew of missed calls (and videochats), there were just a few messages.

e.kaspbrak

What

[missed call from e.kaspbrak (x2)]

Richie, answer your phone, dickweed.

[missed call from e.kaspbrak]

Rich, seriously, this isn't funny.

I know you didn't just fall asleep in two seconds.

[missed call from e.kaspbrak]

Richie, you're freaking me the fuck out.

If this is some sort of joke, I'm going to be so pissed.

[missed call from e.kaspbrak (x3)]

Come on, Richie. This isn't fucking funny.

[missed call from e.kaspbrak]

Are you okay?

[missed call from e.kaspbrak (x4)]

Richie felt like fucking vomiting. He didn't text any after that one, it was all calls. Just call after call. God, he was such a dumbass. Eddie was up all night, fucking paranoid. Because what? Richie was scared of rejection? That he wasn't even sure he'd get from Eddie. It was so fucking selfish, and he felt like shit.

He wasn't gonna make him wait anymore.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

hey eds I'm sorry I didn't respond

I was really fucking scared and I didn't want you to end things and I just panicked

and I'm sorry

If you don't want to talk to me, I get it

Richie let a breath in through his nose and out his mouth. He wasn't sure if he should even expect a response at this point. Maybe he was sleeping, which would be good, actually so-

e.kaspbrak is calling

He was scared as fuck, but there was no way in hell he wasn't answering it. Not after all the calls he missed already. So, with a breath, he accepted and pulled it up to his ear.

It was silent for a second, so Richie spoke instead. Eddie had done enough already, anyway.

"Eds?"

There was a shuffling, and Richie held his breath.

"Look, I am unbelievably fucking mad at you right now," his voice echoed through the line, and it was a little shaky and too fast, "-but I can't fucking articulate that properly because I'm so fucking happy to hear your stupid ass voice."

"I'm really happy to hear you too, Eds," Richie laughed a little, eyes a little teary, "-And you should, you should be mad at me, I'm a fucking idiot-"

"Did you mean it?" He interrupted, and he was definitely sniffling.

Richie flexed his hands once, hearing Eddie cry because of him made him want to throw himself off the nearest bridge. Or maybe book the next flight, and hug him until he physically couldn't anymore.

"Mean what, Eds?" Richie asked, gently.

"Do you actually love me?"

Richie's heart twisted in his chest (he didn't think I meant it?), "Yes, yeah. Of course, I fucking love you. What do you mean?"

"I was-" Eddie started, before clearing his throat, "-I thought it might've been a stupid joke, I don't-"

"What?" Richie whispered, "-No, I know I'm a fucking idiot sometimes, but I wouldn't... I wouldn't do that."

"Well, I just-" Eddie let out a breath, and it was much slower (Richie hoped it was somehow because of him), "-I don't know. I just got fucking scared. And then you weren't responding. And I thought that you might think I didn't-"

"I'm so fucking sorry, Eds," Richie interrupted, "-I fucking hate myself because of this whole thing. I love you, and I just stressed you out, what kinda bo-"

"Don't fucking say that," Eddie hissed out, "-I am mad as shit at you, but you're still you, Richie. You're my boyfriend, you can't shit on yourself. Because if you were anyone else, I would beat the shit out of you."

Richie barked out a laugh, loud and sharp. He heard Eddie laugh a little too, like he couldn't help it. It made something stir in his stomach, and it just slipped out.

"God," he spoke through laughter, "-I fucking love you, Eds. You're such a little shit."

Eddie's laugh got louder, it might have even changed to a giggle if he was honest. It made Richie fucking giddy; I love you, Eds, love, love, love-

Richie's mouth opened, and he just let him say what he wanted to. Eddie already had his dramatic confession, it was his turn anyway.

"Eds, I really fucking love you," he spoke, tone genuine and he was smiling (Eddie wasn't running away), "-and I know I talk a lot of shit. But this... I'm being honest. There's no fucking shitty joke. I feel like I've been in love with you my whole life-"

"Richie," Eddie breathed out, but it was a little shaky and quiet (maybe like he was crying).

"-which I don't know how that fucking works, because we've only known each other for months so-"

"Richie," he tried again.

"-but it feels like that. It does. Like Richie Tozier is supposed to love Eddie Kaspbrak. Like it's the fucking Earth turning-"

"Richie-"

"-and every time you talk, it just rings through my head. Because you're so... you. And I love the fuck out of you. So, when you said all that shit to... to reassure me, and then you were just... Eddie telling me that you were pissed off at them, on my behalf, and I just... I couldn't fucking stop it."

He took in a big breath, but he wasn't scared. Eddie deserved to fucking hear it. Even if he didn't love him back, right now, he'd still tell him everyday. Until he died, probably. Even if they broke up (which the thought made Richie want to shrivel up and die), his last words would be: I love you, Eddie Kaspbrak-

"You're making it really fucking hard to hate you, right now," Eddie spoke, in what Richie knew to be frustration (the kind where he puffed up his cheeks a little).

Richie laughed, shuffling his feet a little (like he had energy he couldn't let out which he always fucking did), "I try."

Eddie brought on this whole new side of himself like he couldn't stop fucking smiling and he fucking loved someone. And god, he had never loved someone like he loved Eddie, or maybe never loved at all-

"I wanna say-"

Richie somehow immediately knew where it was going, "Eds, you don't have to say anything. Seriously. If you're not ready, there's no rush. I'll fucking be here as long as you need me to be."

"Richie," Eddie leveled, "-that is sweet as fuck. Probably the sweetest thing you're fucking capable of saying. But I need you to listen to me-"

"I dunno Eddie baby," Richie teased, "-I could go sweeter."

"Richie," Eddie tried to say seriously, but he was laughing through it, "-shut the fuck up."

Richie politely cut it back. He could always tease him until he nearly blew a blood vessel later (it was kinda his favorite thing to do, honestly). Preferably on a video call, so he could see the red go all the way up his face-

"I think I want to come earlier."

Richie nearly dropped his fucking phone, "What?"

Eddie continued, almost bashfully (Richie added the new tone to one of his Eddie files), "I hate New York. The people here suck, the streets are loud, the whole place smells so fucking bad-"

Richie snorted.

"-and you're just in San Francisco, fucking waiting. For what? For money I can't even get to? I mean, it's practically fucking invisible-"

Richie was smiling way too big for his face.

"-and I'm just fucking sitting here in a shitty apartment because I already paid rent. And you, my boyfriend who fucking loves me, are across the fucking country in a fancy ass apartment-"

"I wouldn't call it fancy, Spaghetti," Richie interrupted, going into a 'fancy' accent, "-It's not like butlers are waiting on me, or there are fucking... marble floors. It's just got a nice kitchen, and is in a nice walkable part of-"

"That's not the fucking-" Eddie let out a sigh, recentering himself, "-It's got you, dipshit. That's what I mean. You're there."

Richie grinned, "I mean... so is Bev-"

"You are such an asshole," Eddie huffed out, unsuccessfully hiding a laugh, "-didn't I tell you to shut up? I'm trying to fucking say something."

"Yes dear," Richie responded, flatly.

"Oh my god, Richie-"

"Okay, okay," he let out a laugh, putting his hands up in surrender (even though Eddie could not see him), "-I'm done, I'm done. Go ahead, Eds."

"I fucking hate you," Eddie retorted, with no bite.

"Agree to disagree," Richie remarked, before adding, "-Seriously, I'm done. Scout's honor."

"That means fuck all if you weren't an actual Scout, dickweed."

"How do you know I wasn't?" Richie proposed -curious.

"I just know," Eddie responded oddly. Like he was-

"Oh my god, Eds-" Richie almost jumped in fucking place, "-were you a fucking Boy Scout? With the cute little uniform and sash and hat-"

Eddie huffed out, "It's a really good program, asshole."

"-Please tell me you have pictures, Eds, you don't understand. I will print it out and frame it on my wall."

There was a pause.

"You have pictures?!"

"Well, fucking yeah," Eddie spit out, maybe a little embarrassed, "-obviously. And they're already fucking photos, they're in like a baby book-"

"Eddie baby," Richie cut off, "-please tell me you're packing that."

"Of course I am, asshole," Eddie retorted, "-It's all my fucking memories, why wouldn't I take it with me?"

"Thank god," Richie raised a hand, silently thanking somewhere in the sky.

"If you're gonna make fun of me-" Eddie started, prickly and defensive.

"Eds, no," Richie clarified, laughing (which was not helping his case), "-I would physically sacrifice myself to see your baby photos. You are so fucking cute now, I can't imagine you as a baby. Especially in a lil Boy Scout uniform-"

"Yeah, okay, well," Eddie blew out a breath, and Richie could tell he was flustered, "-I'm bringing it. So."

Richie processed that for a second (and maybe he did a physical fist pump, no one really knew) before his mind flickered elsewhere. And his mouth was off like a rocket, like it always was.

"How soon?" He spoke, palpably excited -grinning way too fucking bright, "-How soon do you want to come?"

"Maybe if you hadn't fucking distracted me," Eddie reasoned, "-you'd know that."

"Eddie baby," Richie spoke (yes, he was pulling that card), actually apologetic, "-I'm so sorry. When do you want to move in with me?"

There was a silence, and Richie could nearly hear his resolve weakening (bingo). He probably had his arms crossed and was rolling his eyes-

"It's like supposed to be two months, right?" Eddie asked.

Richie was totally not counting the days (nor had he bought a physical fucking calendar just to write Eds in a heart on the day he was supposed to get here), "Give or take."

"Well," he paused, mulling it over, "-I think at most a month. Maybe."

"At most?" Richie asked -blankly.

"It'll probably be as soon as I can sort out all my shit," Eddie stated -plainly, like he wasn't changing Richie's whole life, "-I have to pack, talk to my shitty landlord, and buy the plane tickets-"

"Aren't you afraid of flying?" Richie asked genuinely.

Eddie seemed to pause for a second, processing, "How did you-"

And then he stopped.

"-Forgot about your fucking Eddie files."

Richie snorted again.

"Yeah, I am," Eddie addressed, "-but the trip is like fucking 40 hours long-"

"43," Richie instinctively corrected. Shit.

"Have you-" Eddie seemed to process for a second, "-Have you searched that up?"

Richie gnawed on his lip for a second, trying to figure out how he wanted to go about this. Eddie already knew that he loved him, to be fair, so it probably explained any of his behavior enough for a pass.

"Well, you were talking about moving in, and-" Richie breathed out -hesitantly, "-you're afraid of flying, so I.. So I looked into it."

"What were you gonna do? Drive to me?" Eddie laughed a little.

Richie was definitely not laughing. Eddie's laughter cut short, and there was a second.

"Rich," Eddie echoed out, disbelieving,"-are you serious?"

"Well, I just," Richie pursed his lips, before relented, "-Yeah, okay, yeah. I was, Eds. But if you... If you just want to fly though-"

"No," Eddie interrupted, "-No, I'd rather drive."

"The whole 43 hours?" Richie asked, genuinely.

"Well, it's fucking different," Eddie offered, most definitely a little flustered.

"How exactly?" Richie laughed, "-The trip is the same amount of time, Eddie baby. Well, I guess I could shave off some time if I-"

"Shut the fuck up," he cut him off, directly, "-You're not doing shit."

"Sir yes sir!" he chimed -instinctively.

He could nearly hear Eddie roll his eyes, it made him grin.

"It's different because it's with you, dickweed," Eddie answered, "-I wanna do it with you. Obviously."

"Yeah, well," Richie was smiling, "-I did tell you I'd do anything you wanted, Eds."

"Well then, okay," Eddie paused, "-come and get me in a month."

"Just a vague month?"

"No, fucking of course not," he automatically responded, "-I'll give you a specific day, and time. And on that point, you better not be late."

"Ah," Richie sighed, "-there's my Eds that I know and love."

"Yeah," Eddie spoke softly, maybe in disbelief, "-you love me."

Richie smiled, eyes falling to his feet. This was something he never wanted to forget, even though he'd be here so soon. He didn't want to forget these calls, ever. He hoped he could recount them until he was old and gray.

"Fuck yeah, I do, Eds."

In retrospect, Richie didn't realize that Eddie hadn't said it back. But, he didn't really care. Eddie would say it whenever he wanted to. Frankly, as long as Eddie kept dating him, he didn't need it. Don't get him wrong, if Eddie said 'I love you', Richie could probably die happy. Or maybe never have another bad day in his life-

Today, Richie was streaming. It was a boring one, a Q&A but he was kinda tired so, it would work. His subs actually liked Q&As because Richie would wholeheartedly answer all kinds of things. It was limitless, the mods really only stepped in on super serious shit.

"Hey motherfuckers," he chimed, grinning brightly (his subs were used to his new smile by now), "-how are we today? Anyone have shit to share with the class?"

Richie skimmed through the chat.

"Pretty sure my Mom slept with my boyfriend," he read, raising his eyebrows, "-Shit, dude. What the fuck? I'm not even sure what to say to that. My condolences...? Is that like shitty of me to say-"

stan.the.man donated $1: no I think that's fair

"Stanthony, hey," he smiled, shooting finger guns at the camera, "-welcome to the stream. No good birds to watch?"

dizknees: a q & a in this economy ???

girlie-pops: hey trashmouth

elite._.gamer: started with the games ended with the streamer

too.tough.to.cry: how do we submit questions

trashy.tozier: @/dizknees I know I'm scared of what these questions are gonna be

stan.the.man: fuck you richie

trashmouth-for-me: @/too.tough.to.cry the link in the description

benny.boy: hey rich !!!

babey_boy: this is going to be so fucking cursed

"Hi Ben," Richie chimed again, "-I'll give it a few minutes for all your questions to come in-" his eyes darted to the submissions (it was growing exponentially), "-Actually, we're pretty fucking full as is."

Giving chat one last glance, Richie turned to the form, skimming through the submissions -this was going to be a total shitshow. But hey, that's what the trashies loved so... he was here to deliver.

"Who do you think tops, Luigi or Bowser?" He read out, pressing his lips together and furrowing his eyebrows, "-Are we talking about Mario? Like big turtle monster and Italian plumber?"

trashy.tozier: yeah it's from the movie

"Oh, the new movie?" Richie asked, which chat confirmed, "-Yeah, I won't watch it, fucking hate that Chris Pratt got it, honestly-"

trashmouth-for-me: say less king

ghostie_girl77: no bc exactly

cryingandscreaming: so reallll

bouncing-baby-boy: I liked it 🤷‍♂️

the.losers.are.better: I like him as star-lord and in parks and rec

girlie-pops: @/bouncing-baby-boy red flag

flying_froggerz900: I only watched it for jack black

toziers-trash: say that

your._.mom: period

gnarlybabes: peaches peaches peaches peaches

"I mean, it seems kind of obvious...?" Richie brought himself back to the question, thinking, "-Bowser is a fucking monster king, and Luigi is like a more... fragile character. Unless he has another side to him, but I don't get those vibes, and fucking trust me, I know them-"

Honk, honk!

reddy.bevvy donated $1: hi love you but shut up :)

"Bevvy! Love you too-" he grinned and blew a few kisses to the camera, before refocusing, "-I think Bowser is my final answer. Alright, next question-"

He clapped his hands once, peering over the list and reading, "What is the sexiest finger?"

"Oh, easy," Richie waved it off dismissively, "-middle."

dizknees: EXACTLYYYY

an_idiot_sandwich32: no bc there's literally no other answer what

hunterz-dream: if you disagree think again

babey_boy: obvi

trashy.tozier: anyone seen 🍝 ?

girlie-pops: the only other valid answer is maybe ring

elite._.gamer: this makes no sense but he is right

It went on like that for a while, with somehow both questions he'd expected and questions he most certainly did not (some about Minecraft, and also asking if he preferred Coraline's mom before or after spiderization, typical stream really). And then, he saw it.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Richie read out, licking along his teeth -debating (they had talked about this, but he didn't want to cross any boundaries).

He mulled it over for a second, before deciding to answer, "Yeah, actually, I do."

trashy.tozier: WHATTTT

tell_me_a_lie: there goes our single rep

reddy.bevvy: 😉

dizknees: 🍝 ? 👀👀👀

babey_boy: we lost another one ✋️😔

too.tough.to.cry: wait fr

girlie-pops: let's go gays

trashmouth-for-me: @/dizknees reddie real ???

toziers-trash: real or imaginary

your._.mom: trashmouth lore drop

genuine._.disappointment: imma die alone

stan.the.man: @/toziers-trash tragically real

girls.girl: tell me more

Richie promptly didn't say anything else about it. Mostly so he could figure out specifics with Eddie later. He wanted to tell them, honestly, but he wasn't gonna do anything without talking to him. Richie's life was already public, Eddie deserved the choice -he stood by that solidly.

And so the stream moved on, well, until it didn't.

"I'm not really sure about the-"

Bzzt, bzzt.

Richie paused, cutting himself off. His eyes dashed to his phone, eyeing the screen. It was an actual phone call-

💞 Eds 💞

He furrowed his eyebrows, a little concerned, before turning to the camera.

"There's the man now, folks," he chimed, happily, and moved the screen over to the break one -promptly muting his mic, "-Gimme one second."

He spun in his chair, facing the wall, just in case, and answering.

"Eddie baby, what's up?" He asked, in a casual sort of concern.

Eddie immediately responded, bristly (maybe because of concern on his part too), "What's up? I've been trying to call you for fifteen fucking minutes-"

"Eds, relax," Richie laughed, "-I had my Instagram notifications off."

"What, why?" Eddie asked -innocently (it was really fucking cute).

"Well, Spaghetti," Richie added -carefully, "-I'm streaming right now."

"What?" Eddie asked again.

"Don't worry about it," Richie quickly amended, "-I'm muted and have my little break thing up."

"No that's not-" Eddie seemed to pause, voice more distant like he was looking on his phone (maybe had him on speaker), "-I didn't get a notification. Since when are you streaming today?"

"I told you this morning," Richie replied, laughing, "-It's just a Q&A. They actually... They actually asked me if I had a boyfriend."

"And...?" Eddie questioned, plainly. It made Richie want to squirm, because he couldn't tell what the right answer was.

"I told 'em yeah," he answered, slowly, "-but I didn't say it was you or anything so-"

"Why not?"

Richie paused, pressing his lips together, "You... You want me to?"

"Well, yeah," Eddie clarified, a little flustered, "-I already told you that."

"It was actually more kinda implied," Richie noted before pointing out, "-I didn't just wanna say shit without your fucking... approval, Eds."

"Well, I'm giving it," Eddie replied, sturdily.

"Okay, so-" Richie laughed a little, "-I'm just gonna tell chat that we're dating?"

"I don't fucking know, dipshit," Eddie bit back, "-it's your stream."

Richie gnawed at his lips, trying to think. Could he just work it into the conversation? Would that be forced and awkward? How the fuck did he want to do this?

He took a deep breath in, trying to think. He could hear Eddie shifting through the phone, and he thought his mic might actually pick it up if it was on-

Wait.

"Eds," Richie grinned, "-how do you feel about being on stream?"

"On stream?" Eddie questioned.

"Yeah, like your voice," Richie clarified, "-through the phone."

There was silence for a second.

"They already know I'm on the phone with my boyfriend," Richie explained, "-all I have to do is call you Spaghetti, and chat will connect the dots."

Eddie was slow to speak, but it came out a little frantic, "What the fuck am I supposed to say? I don't-"

"Just hi," Richie soothed, stopping the Kaspbrak spiral -effectively, "-Nothing else."

There was another pause.

"I'll be right fucking here, Eds," Richie said, gently, "-You know that."

Eddie let out a big breath, "Okay, yeah. Let's do it."

Richie gave him a little warning, before unmuting the mic and changing it back to the camera. He watched for a second as chat seemed to acknowledge him, and the grinned real big -putting the phone on speaker.

"Alright, everyone," he chimed, dramatically, "-say hi to Spaghetti."

"Hi," Eddie's voice echoed out, softer than usual (Richie thought it was both the cutest thing in the world and nothing compared to what he knew to be his actual voice). He actually seemed fucking nervous, which was new -Richie promptly added it to the Eddie files.

genuine._.disappointment: EDDIE ???

girls.girl: 👋👋👋

bubblingbabz: hi richie's bf

hog-inthebog: hiiiiiiii

younganddumb: reddie exists??? love wins

toziers-trash: no fucking way

powderpuffdonuts: 👋👋👋

stop.it.bruv56: 🍝🍝🍝

minecrafter.on.main: eddie stream when

dizknees: HOLY SHIT

babey_boy: 🍝 ???

trashmouth-for-me: I FUCKING KNEW IT

girlie-pops: no bc my gaydar was off the charts with those chats

trashy.tozier: @/trashmouth-for-me REDDIE CONFIRMED

tozier_babeyyyy: somebody clip that I gotta start a comp

elite._.gamer: 👋👋👋

harness-safety19: 🍝🍝🍝

only-here-for-trashmouth: @/tozier_babeyyyy 10 times trashmouth mentioned eddie and eddie told him to stfu

bevs.boa: hiiii spaghetti 🍝

trashy.tozier: @/tozier_babeyyyy @/only-here-for-trashmouth JSJKISNSJHSBSH

grumpy_frog: 👋👋👋

Richie smiled, eyeing the chat (Reddie, huh?), before pulling his phone back and turning off speaker phone. He was honestly giddy, of all things.

"Chats going fucking bonkers," Richie laughed into the phone, "-They really fucking love you, Eds."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked -maybe a little nervous.

"You should see it," he assured, "-They're all like saying Reddie confirmed. Apparently, they were clued in already, Eddie baby."

"Reddie?"

"Our ship name, Spaghetti," Richie chimed back, "-obviously."

"They do that for fucking real people?" Eddie remarked, and he could almost see the nose shrivel, "-Ew, what the fuck?"

"Oh, Eds, my sweet summer child," Richie hummed, "-I have a lot to teach you."

"Not that," Eddie emphasized, sharply, "-anything but that."

Richie promptly ignored him, teasing, "What if I got it tatted? Reddie forever, right above my heart-"

"You wouldn't fucking dare," Eddie chastised, "-I'd rather stay in New York than see that shit."

"Oh my, my, my-" Richie fanned himself like a damsel, "-Spaghetti is expecting to see me with my shirt off? How scandalous-"

"Shut the fuck up," Eddie replied, and Richie knew that he was getting flustered (God, he loved him), "-You're an idiot, and I can't stand you."

"Yeah, well," Richie hummed, "-I'm in fucking love with you, so looks like you're fucked, Eds."

Eddie laughed that time, and Richie felt it all the way down to his toes, "That makes it so hard to fucking argue with you, you know that?"

"What does?" Richie asked, almost forgetting he was on stream.

Eddie paused for a second, it came out in a huff of breath (flustered again), "You saying you love me."

Richie grinned, and wondered why he was so nervous about it in the first place. All of that seemed so stupid now.

"Well, Eddie baby," Richie breathed out, "-ya better get fucking used to it."

[xseizure-candyx]

*tries to be mean- fails*

Dan x reader

(Introductory chapter, thats all)

---------------------------------------------------

the sun was bright, the sky clear and the breeze was cool, all this to say that i was having the worst day of my life atm. my dad was being the biggest dick head in the entire world and because he cant handle any kind of emotion or female at that he kicks me out in the blink of an eye, im sorry but im not a maid. i had to pack in a day, be out and hunting the next, and just yesterday was i approved to move into my new apartment, my own space that i can dominate to do what i want, i should be happy to be on my own at my big age of 21 but for some reason i feel bad for leaving an old man alone, but then again im not dealing with his yelling and commanding for any longer. at this moment i am moving in, i have to carry each, and every, LARGE BOX, up stairs and into my apartment MYSELF. i make my way back down to the moving van and so happen to see someone standing by it with two other people i don't know, i got a little anxious because i wanted to be a bit more on the down low but damn, three people at once. as i got closer i was able to register the people, a tall built blonde, an average sized purple haired woman and a short dark haired man. they seem friendly from afar but as i got closer and into their bubble the small mans energy makes me a little more on guard, i didn't say a word as i got closer because all i heard was the smaller man ranting about how no one was allowed to move in because its only ever an inconvenience to him and how all people are stupid and problems only come from new people. i just stood behind him and listened, by the time the other two noticed me but he was facing away from me, they looked at him and pointed in my direction. He was mid sentence when he glanced my way "OH, AND I SUPPOSE YOUR THE-" he abruptly looked me over and clasped his hands behind him and straightened his back "ooooh, you must be my new neighbor! im dan and this is my best friend Chris........and his wife Elise" he gestured to the other two people who were waving at me "hello, and welcome to the neighborhood i hope you're not moving all of this in yourself" Elise said, i smiled and introduced myself "its nice to meet you, im (y/n)". dans eyes haven't moved from my form at all but i act like i don't notice how weird he is to not hurt his feelings or embarrass him " uuuh, yeah. im kinda on my own but ill be ok" i smiled tiredly. Elise and Chris immediately volunteer to help me carry boxes into my house but i deny it to be nice, though i really do need help "dont worry (y/n) its not a problems at all we wouldn't want you to tire yourself out on your first day in your new apartment" Chris said. i smiled and looked at all of them " thank you so much, you guys are some of the kindest people I've met so far" i purposely didn't make eye contact with dan when saying that, and it caused him to to quip in " i can help, im nice too!" feeling bad i looked at him and smiled " of course id appreciate it, and maybe i can make us all dinner when we are finished" the blonde man with a box already in his arms snapped his head in my direction "yes please" and i giggled at that, hes funny and his wife is really sweet, i might want to consider a friendship, but dan is.... i don't know right now but we'll see.

---------------------------------------------------

After placing a few things that need to be put in place, i sat chris elise and dan in the living room and allow them to pick what to watch and even play games, but dan was consistent on getting in the kitchen to stare up at me and ask questions every 5 minutes like a toddler. I give up and sigh "look dan if your going to ask so many questions then you might as well put on that apron and help" it was silent, but seconds later dan has a stepping stool pulled up next to me and is wearing a frilly pink apron, i giggled at how willing he is to help me all of a sudden, hes been quieter ever since hes first saw me, almost like hes thinking constantly but about what, its not like hes not enjoying my company, i show him what to cut and how to cut it and he listens, him helping is making the process quicker. We both go to grab the last tomato and our hands touch, his on top of mine, even though i did jump a little he didn't move away at first, as if he liked the contact, when he did pull his hand away he was furrowing his brows and blushing "I-I FORGOT I HAVE TO GO FEED MR MUMBLES" and ran through the door and im assuming to his apartment. 'hm....whats all this about now' I shrug it off and scramble to finish the pasta i was making and go to sit with chris and elise with our plates "hey wheres dan" i shrugged my shoulders and sat his food in front of him and elise and sit with my own "something about feeding mr mumbles, i suppose its a cat or dog but ill head over and give him his food later im hungry right now" and with that we all ate, and after we ate we talked and even played games, and when it was time for them to leave it was late, i walked them to their car and hugged them both "thank you guys for all the help, i couldnt have asked for a better first experience and i hope we can become good friends" i say and smile "well with that meal you just cooked us consider us buddies!!!" Chris said out of his window "yea well be sure to keep in touch and maybe we can help you seek out stuff for your apartment too!" Elise had quipped, and after all of our goodbyes they drove off. After i watch them drive off i make my way up stairs and back to my apartment, as im passing each window i stopped by dans because i heard what sounded like ranting but it wasnt like earlier, where he was angry and sporadic but more low and gentle, sounded like he was kinda disappointed or sad. An idea pops into my head, maybe hes just alone and doesnt like when he feels left out, so i headed to my apartment and got two slices of cake and his dinner and went to dans, i will share this cake with him and hopefully become best neighbors and even friends, maybe then he wont be so awkward, i knocked on his door and smiled for hospitality, but for some reason it took a short while for dan to answer. i go to knock again when the door is swung open and dan is standing there looking a little down, not sad but not too enthused either "hey dan....i noticed you missed dinner so....i thought id bring it over for you, also i was hoping we could share dessert and you know...talk, get to know each other?" For a split second fear was shown on his face and while his eyes darted around his apartment he wasn't looking too sure"i-i would be honored to enjoy dessert with you, its just- my apartment is a mess" and he held his door wide open in shame. i peer in with no visible reaction but holy hell was it cluttered, usually people with depression or deteriorating mental state cant clean or notice when its too dirty, they just dont process it the same. I frown dont at dan with sympathy "dan im not one to judge but have you ever consider asking for help, i mean im sure no one wants to see you like this" his eyebrows furrow and he clenches his fist "NO BECAUSE IM NOT WEAK I CAN HANDLE THINGS ON MY OWN" aah there it is "what if i offer to come over and help ill even make us lunch" i say sweetly, purposefully sounding cute, he groans and blushes, then fidgets with his hands "ok but......dont mock me or use this against me, ill ruin your life" he said the last part as a threat, i smiled

[dadkisser15]

Im craving this boy in so many ways

I wanna feel him so bad and just hold him close. My head is aching and I feel like the only thing that could soothe this ache is the sound of his intensely sweet voice, his precious laugh and how I would do almost anything right now to just hear him. It makes me almost emotional how much I miss it, maybe it’s the fact that I’m a little tired and probably going to be menstruating soon but even if those things weren’t in the picture I’d still be feeling this way! I’m probably just being dramatic but god it feels like it’s been ages, like literal fucking decades and I just need him. I don’t wanna bother him or anything with my whining because I feel as if it’s staring to get annoying but sometimes I really cannot help myself, I’m a very expressive person in so many ways and I also don’t like lying so when I do It’s kind of obvious that I am; so I can’t lie to myself and just PUSH this feeling inside of me and just not do anything about it!!!!!!!! Oh, which reminds me I was overthinking so bad earlier while I was just playing some stupid game and well firstly, the overthinking stunted my performance greatly and it just made me really sad. I wont write out what I was thinking of but I’m still kinda worried about it I’m trying really hard to just brush it off because it isn’t like a big deal but I’m a jealous girl and this is eating me up. Like, I can’t really complain to anyone about it because in my opinion the problem is so minuscule that it would make me appear as just CRAZY or just super dramatic which I know I am but I don’t wanna FEED into that ! I wish I didn’t feel this way at all because it doesn’t feel normal, well it’s the norm for me but I know this isn’t a normal thing. Am I suffering from some sort of mental illness? Oh, we will never know. All I know is jealousy isn’t a pretty look yet I wear it constantly, can I help myself? No, I cannot. Sadly, I cannot be nonchalant and just not care about stuff because I care about everything and more. I wonder if he ever feels like this, probably not because I don’t think he HAS things to be jealous of ! (I have like no fucking friends) He’d probably claim that I wouldn’t either but ☹️😭 oh gusy I can’t even ufkcing say it I wanna cry

LIKE DO YOU SEE THIS I DIDNT even write it out or anything but thinking about it is bringing me to tears. WHY AM I SO DRAMATIC 😭!!!! Like what is wrong with me, I wish my brain was like a sponge so I could squish all of this feeling out and just be a clean sponge again because I hate this feeling so much, Ihate jealousy it is literally the worst feeling EVER. In my stupid what if scenario I made up in my head earlier while overthinking I was like, “oh, if this happens I could just pretend like everything is okay and act like how i normally act!” And yeah I can do that but it’ll make things hard for me, when I get upset about something i usually just cannot stop thinking about it so the longer I pretend everything is just fine and dandy the harder it is for me to eat, sleep or just feel like doing stuff that I’m supposed to be doing. I just think about this often, why do people lie about unnecessary things? I don’t understand what’s the point!!! It just annoys me when I’m painfully aware of something but I have to pretend as if I’m ignorant to the truth, it really just upsets me. I feel like I’m going to cry right now because I’m thinking about this stupid thing again OH AND GREAT I AM CRYING!!!!

I feel like all of this worry and anxiety is also just tied down to the fact that I am so incredibly insecure about myself. I constantly tell myself not to compare myself to others and I even give that advice to others but I do it so often, I do it to the point I feel sick of myself and just everything about me. Why can I not follow my own advice and why do I put myself in positions where I can compare myself? I don’t know, it’s not like doing those things will better myself. Maybe motivate but there’s better ways to do that. Envy is not a great way to motivate yourself, it makes me feel sick. Sorry, tumblr for my self deprecating tangent but I’m just writing what comes to mind and I guess that right now I’m just really feeling it, I feel like need to be reassured but who’s going to reassure me ? What do I even need reassurance for?!! That I don’t even know either but I crave comfort and reassurance and it makes me sad knowing I don’t know who to rely on for things like that. I think I’m a bad person for feeling this way, for feeling envious of some girl who could literally care less. It probably means nothing yet I am so jealous and I’m overthinking about it. It makes me mad that I’m so worried over some random when they’re literally happily living their life like what the fuck is wrong with me. Genuinely.!! I want to just extract this from my mind and forget about it and I wish I wasn’t so curious at times because I’d be better off just being oblivious.

Guys I’m probably going to cry myself to sleep over some dumb shit again so I’m done writing 😜

[orgrimmar-archive]

putting under a cut so nobody hates me

But I just. I feel so useless all the time. I wanted to apply for a fucking phone answering job, had my boyfriend half lie that i only needed crutches, and somehow Im not able to do it. It's answering the phone.. I just..

And his father told me to my face outright that nobody cares about me, nobody will believe me, he'll never waste resources on trying to medically help me, and ill never ever get a job unless i give up on my mobility aids. I don't have a diagnosis, i cant get one, and im stuck walking when i should be in my fucking wheelchair. I want to go outside but i cant unless i want to be in excruciating pain and misery. I want a job so im not so useless and broke but no remote options near me are entry level. I just.

What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? I feel so utterly suicidal about it all. I feel so insecure and ugly and broken because I can't take care of myself. I haven't been able to eat consistently in months, because theyre trying to force me to walk more when i cant. I fall to the floor every day. I crawl like some kind of animal. Im losing all bits of being a person i ever had. Im so tired.

I wish i was ablebodied so badly. I wish I could go outside and do things normal people do. I would give so much just to have a job. Im considering just.. selling pictures of myself but im so fat and covered in scabs and acne and whatever else that nobody would ever even pay for that. But its all i can even think of. My art makes me lose followers. My writing is unbelievably vapid and droning. My boyfriend's dad was right and it just makes me so.. hopeless.

I just. Im starting to wonder why i even try waking up. Im so tired of waking up to filth and misery and pain and sadness. Im so tired of seeing out the window and knowing that outside is so.. so close but I cant even make the distance to the bathroom next to our room without carefully considering if i should just hold it until i cant take it anymore and have to crawl or limp because its that bad. I hate the scabs on my scalp that refuse to go away. I hate how much hair ive been losing. I hate my belly that juts out so unbelievably far i look pregnant. I feel so sick to my stomach even just imagining what i look like.

Why can't i be like everyone else? Why can't i work and have a little apartment and make things i care about on the side? Why do i have to be such a disgusting, ugly little cockroach that skitters on the floor only to be tucked underneath the rug when appearances matter? Why have i had to go through so much with nothing good? Why? Why me?

I try so hard to escape it but nothing fucking works. Nobody looks like me in the games i play. Heroes arent people on wheelchairs. People with wheelchairs are evil or useless or stupid. In the case of wow even so many fucking wheelchair paladin bullshit has been in my youtube recently and I just. Im not useless. I promise im not. I promise. Im trying so hard to be just like you. Why does wheelchair mean useless? Why?

I just.. I wish someone cared. Someone who had the ability to take care of me. Someone with the funds and the experience and the kindness. My boyfriend can only do so much and i just.. im so neglectful and horrible. I cant do anything. I just lay in bed and play games all day like some lazy fucking asshole.. i dont deserve anything good at all

[callimaria]

the little things in life

warnings: idia lol

characters: ..idia, yuu!reader

after getting used to your boyfriend’s lifestyle, your own routine has changed somewhat to fit in time for him.

you two would even spend hours gaming together — due his request of course — when you weren’t busy.

recently, you remembered a game you loved to play back in your own world, telling idia about it. it was a nice little story game, and had a multiplayer function.

you had no clue about something just like it existing here too, idia recommending it after seeing how joyful you looked talking about your own game.

(the tips of his hair go pink when he thinks about how you were literally glowing, but he’d never tell… too bad ortho would.)

that was a couple weeks ago, and the two of you have taken the time to start playing together. though, he’s had to progress alone the past few days; for you were absolutely swamped in work.

you couldn’t even stop by ignihyde as much as you could before, disappointing you, but idia much more. ‘how am i supposed to play the game without my gaming buddy??’, he’d complain over text.

however, there was nothing you could do about it except to suck it up and finish all those stupid chores before you drop dead.

you’d come back to the ramshackle dorm with grim, exhausted, tired and sweaty; aching to the bones and wanting nothing more than to go to sleep, even if you craved food.

you did notice that you’d receive one notification from the game on your phone every day though, and it piqued your interest, despite having been unable to log in at all.

through further investigation, (logging in) the notifications were all gifts sent to you through the mail feature, all from idia. if you weren’t so drained, you’d be flustered, but instead you were grateful, and even a little amused.

looking at the gifts more closely, the last one appeared to be a flower bouquet, decked out in all shades of blue. you remembered the mail feature also had a letter system for players, and one of the gifts was a short note.

”i need my player 2 back… pls come back when ur not busy :(

BDJDHE

WAIT

IS THAT WEIRD

OR CLICHE

IM SIRERJE”

you snorted. of course, he started off so well, and then eventually devolved into a crisis.

..how’d he spell ‘sorry’ so wrong, though?

i actually wrote this 18 days ago

i edited it just now bc i wanted to share it w my other twst post too fufufu

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

[yayeetsonny]

Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader

Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)

-N

Previously...

“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”

I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.

“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”

Present

After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.

After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory

“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”

“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.

That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.

“No, I don’t remember doing that.”

I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.

“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.

My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?

I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.

Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;

“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali

“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T

“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen

“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash

“where r u?”- Mal

“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex

And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.

Meanwhile back at the Hotel...

CHRISTEN PRO//

“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”

“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”

“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”

“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”

“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”

“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”

“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”

“I have no idea but we have to try.”

“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

“You’re right.”

“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”

“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.

“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.

“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.

I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.

“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.

We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.

“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”

“Right, you’re right.”

“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.

“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.

“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”

“It’s possible.”

“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”

“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said

“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.

“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly

“Kid...”

“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”

“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”

“Y/N... we need to talk.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.

“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”

“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”

“No.”

“Y/N, please just...”

“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”

“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”

“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.

“Well... that went well.”

“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”

//End

Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.

I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.

-N

//

Not edited.

[monsterenergysimp]

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader 

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you 

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.  

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

    shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

    i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

    NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats  super cool actually

    i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and       youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

    [link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

     No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

     I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?  

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

    xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

[dangan-writing]

I need a n g s t

Kokichi, Nagito and Shuichi with a s/o that’s really forgiving? You could make them end up in the hospital and they’d forgive you

So what if they accidentally kill them and their s/o still forgives them?

If you want, you can do a happy ending where they live! Your choice! :)

╔═══════════════════════════╗

*__ i pick different endings if that's okay Anon, And i picked it to be in the killing game, please tell me if you want it to be changed Anon.

*__ and i apologise if it seems rushed, it's hard to write for 3 character's. And also because you were probably waiting for so long. you can still request for me to remake it Anon, don't worry ^^

*___ Tw -> Ch/king, po/soning, Ka/de, caps, violence, curse words, f/re, injuries

*___Mod Miaya___*

»»———————————- ♡ ————————————««

*___Kokichi Oma___*

When somebody hurts you Kokichi will be fucking rude to them since they don't deserve respect since they hurted you

"Ah Kokichi! Calm down, it didn't hurt that much! I'm okay, see?" You try to move around, but gasping because of the pain "O-Oh.." "See! You got really hurt! That person is gonna get it!!" Kokichi wails "H-hey, i forgive them.. it's not like they murdered me or anything! I'm still here, with just some small injury!" You giggled "Are you that nice?" Kokichi mumbled, before getting up "Hey c'mon! Let's go to Keeboy and have fun with him!" Kokichi smiled mischievously, you laugh "let's go."

That was actually to distract you and go to the person who hurted you and prank the fuck out of the person-

He's concerned about you, i mean. A forgiving S/O? He'll be watching out the people who talks to you, he's a liar. He'll know if they're lying or not. It's impossible for them to hurt you since you have a liar by your side! Impossible he says as he didn't realize they lied in front of his face as you and the person walked away together

After a few minutes passed, he was concerned. Why were you two taking so long? You two must not have been- no, that can't be. Unless...

Shit.. he ran looking after you "S/O!!~ where are you?~ we better not play hide and seek! You'd know i win easily~" he tried to keep up his facade, not wanting to freak himself out... then he saw you tied up, with blood and bruises all over you, with you breathing heavily.

"S/O!" He ran towards you, not even noticing the trap beneath him. As he tried to remove the ropes around you, as he turned around, the door was closed and fire started appearing "Oh shit, t-there was a trap?" He was trying to remove the ropes but it was too tight "Aha.. Don't worry we'll get out of h-here S/O! And we'll get that bastard later for doing this to you dear!" He started to breathe heavily, some smoke blocking his vision. He started to grow weaker "H-ha.. S/O i'm t-truly sorry.." he passed out, luckily people started to bust the door open. The people.. Gonta, and Kaito. With Tenko and the other people "S/O, KOKICHI!" Gonta yelled "Is there any water to put the fire out?" Tenko asked, she doesn't even care if the males save them she just wants them to be saved "I have it here!" Kaito yelled holding some fire grenades with him, he passed the fire grenades to everyone and they started to throw it in the fire

After some minutes, the fire stopped. The others rushed in there finding you two, they picked you two up and put you two in the dorms, Kirumi offered to heal you two. 1st degree burns.. a lot of bruises and blood on you. It took you two two days to wake up.. Kokichi woke up first "nghn.. uh what happened?" Kokichi asked, confused before realizing "ah!- is S/O okay! They better be okay!" Kokichi pouted, looking at Kirumi "they're okay, they just needed more rest then they'll be fine, no need to wory Kokichi. I attended to their injuries quickly after everyone pulled you two out of the fire, they are right next to you Kokichi." Kokichi looked next to him to see you beside him resting peacefully "oh damn, nishishi~" Kokichi looked at Kirumi "Can you leave? I have something to do, like a leader would do!" Kokichi just want to cuddle you actually. Kirumi did as he said, but she knew that he wanted to cuddle you after seeing you there beside him, she smiled.

Cuddling..

After some cuddling you woke up aswell due to his constant moving

"Mmmm Koshi..?" You groaned, half asleep. You rubbed your eyes for a bit "Heeeeey your awake noow! You take too long to wake up!" Kokichi childishly pouted, it's too adorable to be guilty with it, you laugh "That's not going to work in me, that's too adorable y'know?" Kokichi tried his scary face, it's a little intimidating. But it's still cute "still cute-" "Man can't you be scared of me!?" Kokichi cried out! Shaking his arms like a child

After you two were okay now, everyone besides one was trying to find the person who almost killed the both of you

It took 1-2 hours to find the the person who did this

It.. was Angie?

"Uhm.. Why did you try to kill S/O and uh, Ouma-san?" Shuichi asked Angie, who was tied up in a chair "Ahhh~ S/O wanted to give their blood to Atua! That's what Atua told Angie!~" Angie was cheerful as always. Almost everyone didn't believe that "Hey you almost killed me and my dearest S/O!" Kokichi wailed trying to attack Angie, but Gonta was holding onto him as Shuichi said, Angie laughed "S/O offered me some of their-" Shuichi isn't having none of it "Listen.. uhm, you almost killed S/O and Kokichi, how is that uh- related to Atua? And you started a fire for hell's sake...!" Shuichi yelled at Angie, Angie didn't smile. It sended chills on all of their spines.. it wasn't normal for her to not smile, since she always smiles. Seems like she isn't gonna talk for the time "Guys, please don't worry, i forgive her." You jumped in "WHAT? She almost killed you y'know!?" Kaito yelled "Yeah! The idiots right! Angie killed you!" "She's not dead you fuckin' brat!" Miu yelled at Kokichi "h-huh? That w-was uncalled for!" Oh dear now she messed up "W-Wai-" "WWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Kokichi wailed, annoying the others, especially Korekiyo, Kaito, and Maki. They left as soon Kokichi started to cry, except for Kaito-

"Like i said, i forgive her. I'm still alive anyways so that's good right?"

"You forgivable cutie.." Kokichi mumbles

»»———————————- ♡ ————————————««

*___Nagito Komaeda___*

He's a bit protective, you forgive people so easily. He doesn't mind if it's the hopeful people but, the despairful people?? Fuck no he won't let them go to you ever again, he has a quick eye. He'll catch them if they are looking at you

"S/O! Why do you forgive such despairing ugly humans, they hurted you!" Nagito spoke, angrily confused, you are filled with hope thats what he loves but you are a bit too considerate about *everyone's* feelings, even if it's a inanimate object you still refuse to break it.. you really are filled of hope.. too much hope "Huh? Why i forgive people all the time? Uhm... it's just my nature to forgive them, i am aware of how forgiveful i am. I forgive them, but that doesn't mean i like them, listen.. i forgive people but i stay away from them. I can understand when i forgive someone when they hurted me for so long, that's why you never see me with the people i know that hurted me Nagito." You try to give an explaination, of course. You know it isn't all but you decided to give an answer for him to know "S/O.. i.. i understand, how stupid am i to question such hope!" Nagito please calm down we care for you-

You saw him walking, bringing some stuff. Is.. is that poison? Spear, rope, speakers... what is he planning again? He walked inside the warehouse, you need to stop him from being reckless again. But you didn't move from your spot, you waited for a little while. Then you heard fireworks? Then.. running, everyone? They walked to the warehouse, Akane trying to bust the door open. You still stayed im your spot, trying to see if someone is doing stupid. Eventually Akane busted the door open, then you heard

Fire. What the hell? Wasn't Nagito in there? Shit.. You run in the warehouse

"NAGITO!!" you yelled, trying to get the fire canisters and threw them on the fire, it only made the fire more bigger? It's a fire canister.. isn't it suppose to put the fire out? Soon everyone moved and threw the individual fire canister's

Soon enough, the sprinklers put the fire out. You stood up "NAGITO ARE THERE!?" You tried to run in but Monokuma stopped you "Uh-Oh! Unfortuantely you can't be in here for now! Now get out so i can fix this damn warehouse!" You all got kicked out, after 6 minutes Monokuma appeared "Yahhoo, now it's finished now go in there you damn kids!" it's finally done.. honestly it felt like forever. But no time for that, you all ran in the warehouse "hmnn, i smell somethin'.." Akane's nose twitched like a beast when she said that "...That's probably because of the fire earlier.." Chiaki said, and Chiaki pointed out the there was space in the curtains from here, Hajime walked next to the curtain. You felt sick, it can't happen to him plea-

Ding dong bing bong! A body has been discovered! After a certain amount of time, a class trial will begin!

Screams, Kazuichi, Sonia.. and of course you.

You ran to his body begging that this isn't real "plEASE THIS ISN'T- ISN'T R-REAL" You sobbed, the others felt pity.. They tried to drag you away from his body, of course they did take you away from his body.

You eventually pass out from crying, too tired to investigate for the trial. They dragged you in the trial room, you wouldn't wake up so they had no choice but to drag you in the trial. Few minutes later you woke up

"N-Nagito.. set one of us as the killer..." what? Set one of us?

"Huh? What do you mean he set someone as the murderer..?" you asked in disbelief, Hajime explained what basically happened while you were asleep, you just stood there. You tried to focus, you threw a fire canister in the fire, but it only made the fire larger than before.

What...? This.. is unfair unfair- no.

»»———————————- ♡ ————————————««

"I know who did it." You spoke, interrupting their panicking which they snapped out of it when they looked at you "You only decide to talk now!?" Kazuichi yelled, obviously scared for his life "yeah" you nod "uhm.. may i ask who it is?" Sonia nervously asked, you sighed heavily "uh, it's me."

"W-what!? That can't be true! You saved me when i was starvin'!' Akane yelled out "Huuuuuhhh!? What the hell? S/O bought you some food?! That w-wasn't supposed to be allowed-" Monokuma looked dumbfounded until he was cut off "Who the hell cares!? They still saved me.." Akane looked down, it felt like Nekomaru's death all of a sudden..

Hajime and others felt like crying, you were like a leader trying to protect them even though you forgive people too easily "..." Chiaki didn't said anything, she just looked at you. You smiled at her "Do... do you forgive Komaeda-san for what happened S/O?" Chiaki asked "of course not! He set them up as the culprit you kno-" "Yes." You answered, ignoring Kazuichi's comment "hnm, you still forgive him? After he set you up S/O?" She tilt her head "yes, i know he must have a reason. He wouldn't kill someone for his own benifit, that's what i deduced, i believe he has a reason for this. He loves hope, he thinks me as his hope. He wouldn't just throw me away without an explanation, why would he call me a despairing person? I.. yes, i forgive him.." you lowered your head, you didn't understand any of this, why would he kill himself and you?

"Alrighty! Time to vote! Who would be chosen as the blackened?" Monokuma butted in the conversation "Goodbye everyone.. please remember me and everyone in this damned killing game." You smiled, looking at everyone. You are terrified of what kind of execution you have, but you tried to forget it.

This.. is goodbye for me.

S/O has been found guilty, time for the execution!

Right.. goodbye.

I forgive you all for..

*___Shuichi Saihara___*

The same with the two guys, he'll be pretty protective of you since you are so forgiving, there's a high chance you'll get killed because of your friendly nature and he doesn't want that to happen, not ever

"S-S/O, please try to be less considerate.. N-Not that you should be r-rude to anyone! I mean.. you s-shouldn't forgive p-people that easily, even if they are s-sorry. They hurted you uhm, S/O you don't have to feel o-obligated to forgive them." He hugged you, making you feel protected. You laughed

"Ahah, Shuichi. Thank you, i understand that i shouldn't forgive people that easily but, we really are just like that. No matter how many times they hurted us we forgive them. we people, are like that." You tighten the hug, smiling onto his chest

"S-S/O!" He screamed as he rushed towards you, you choking. He didn't realize he put in the poison instead the water.

"S/O DON'T DIE YET PLEASE" Shuichi was panicking, he is gonna murder his own S/O because he was losing sleep that he didn't realize that he put poison in your drink.

'Please pleaee please please please please please please please please please please please please pleaee please please please please please please please please'

..it....

..It was too late? He looked at your dead body.

"S-S/O.. I.. I'm so sorry... i'm such a failure.." he caressed your face. Sobbing, Before.

Ding dong bing bong! A body has been discovered, after a certain amount of time, a class trial will begin!

"WH-WHAT THE HELL!?" Miu screamed out, she rushed to hide in Kaito's back "EEEEEEIIIII, POOICHI IS THE MURDERER!" "What the hell Shuichi!" Kaito stumbled back a bit. Their screams of terror alerted the others, making Kaede, with Tsumugi and Rantaro on her trail.

"H-huh Shuichi!?" "Aaaauuuhh! The killing has started! It's much more different than Sakura's death on Danganronpa trigger happy hav-" "S-Shuichi.." Kaede, Tsumugi, and Rantaro reacted altogether, Rantaro ran towards Shuichi pushing him and trying to do something so he couldn't move "Anyone here have any rope? We need to tie him up first before questioning whats happened." Rantaro stated, looking up at the others "I-I'm sorry.." Rantaro looked down at Shuichi "you will have to explain yourself later, we don't know if you are the culprit, but be honest later on aight?" Shuichi didn't reply

Korekiyo walked in the scene, with a velvet colored rope in hand "i heard that you will be needing this, and so i give this rope to you Amami-san.." Korekiyo handed him the rope " Thanks Kiyo." Amami tied up Shuichi but didn't question on how Korekiyo found the rope but he isn't complaining "Kekehehe.. it is no problem Amami-san..." weirdo..

After they tied him up, they investigated the crime scene first before talking to him because that will waste their time, as they all went to the trial grounds, with Shuichi still tied up. Kaito guarding so he couldn't run away.

"So.. Shuichi, Why did you plan on killing your S/O. Your S/O." Rantaro said. Even if he is not your S/O he cared abiut you deeply, to just see your dead body fuels him with rage "Y-yeah.. Why Shuichi, you guys loved eachother so deeply, i don't understand why you k-killed them." Kaede tried not to sob, but horribly failed "I... i-i didn't mean to kill them, i was tired, stupid.. just vote me out already, i don't care if i die." .. Nobody tried to argue against him, he already admitted it, no point of arguing anyway

"Man you guys got it right! That was boring. an accidental death! Woohoo surely they wouldn't forgive him, he killed them. They wanted to live, yet. You.. killed... them! Puhuhuhu..lets get with on it, i have a special punishment for the ultimate detective, Shuichi Saihara!" Some of the people were clenching their fists, the ultimate detective.. was going to get executed "Let's give it everything we've got! It's... PUNISHMENT TIIIME!"

...

..

.

Huh? What..

What? Why is he, in a pod? He saw someone outside of the pod..is that? No way, S/O?

You opened the pod, smiling at him "well hello there Shuichi, it's so good to see you again." You held his hand, he looked dumbfounded, soon tears started to build up "S-S/O!" He hugged you tightly, not wanting to let go "I'm s-so sorry.. i didn't mean to kill you! I-i... you can hurt me, anything to make you satisfied with what happened.." Shuichi begged you to do it.. he's sobbing, he's so sorry "it's okay dear, i know you didn't mean it! I forgive you! I don't care how many times you hurt me, i'll always forgive you Shuhara. I love you too much for me to not forgive you, or anyone." You caressed his face, smiling softly at him.

"A-ah.." he looked down before smiling, you standed up and he followed what you did "Now, let's go and watch the others now Detective Shuhara."

"Of course."

╚═══════════════════════════╝

[burnedbyshoto]

I really hate you

— Shinsou knows he shouldn’t trust villains. Especially villains who make his mind spin and stomach twist in joy. But there’s something about you that keeps him coming back for more.

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pairing: pro hero!shinsou hitoshi x villain fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, a little bit of juicy plot, pro hero!au, reader is a villain, betrayal, biting, marking, collaring, cursing, hate sex, rooftop sex, body liquids, angst

word count: 8,180

a/n: i like deception :) being a chem TA is pretty fun, except when im in lab for 8 am until 4 pm. listen,,, I also really liked this prompt I made last night because the one I had before wasn’t spicy enough for me anymore. I hope you enjoy though! like comment and share for the algorithm (jk been watching too many tikytokys)

kinktober day 8 main kink: collaring

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When the sun sets, and the moon is high in the sky, and the chill of the bitter cold winds raise ceaseless goosebumps on your arms, and the only people who are up are drunken businessmen and tiresome students, it is a common belief that this is when the freaks come out.

The freaks come out to play at night.

You are one of these freaks.

Heh.

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Shinsou nodded at his friends as he walked through the doors of the agency he worked at. Despite the power of his quirks ability, he was an underground hero (unless the ultra-rare occasion where they needed his quirk in the limelight); he was stationed within a large, well-known agency and was one of the founding heroes there at that. His ability to be hidden from the bright lights of the world were both easy and challenging; most of the world knew him as the kid from UA’s Sports Festival that went toe to toe with nearing number one Pro-Hero Deku. It both irked and embarrassed him when that event was brought up; on the one hand, it was true! He had nearly beat Midoriya during that final stage. Yet, on the other hand, their memories seemed to recall some crazy quirk-fueled fistfight where Midoriya had broken his entire body in the duration of their fight. 

‘No,’ he often found himself responding back to the gentlemen and ladies who would awe at his school-day adventures, ‘there was a fistfight, but Midoriya handled it without using his quirk except to snap him out of my quirk.’

They always looked embarrassingly horrified by their faulty memory when they pulled the clip up on Youtube, their bows quick in apology before they made off. 

But people recognizing him from that was rare as it gets, fortunately even with the large agency stapled to his alias, he was quite good at his job—a shadow in the night, an urgent whisper to the villain freaks who roamed the night.

“Ah, Shinsou-chan!” Kaminari pouted, his body draping over his purple-haired friend as Shinsou moved to change from his regular clothes into the black triple-weave kevlar of his hero suit. He had once sported a black cotton-like costume akin to Aizawa, but after many, many gun shootings and stabbing incidents, he figured he needed something sturdier. 

“What is it?” he asked, rising up from his bent position so that Kaminari couldn’t take advantage of his slouched form. 

Shinsou’s tired, purple eyes met the exhausted pair of Kaminari.

“Today was so hard,” Kaminari sighed, his lip still put into the stupid pout, and he slumped onto the bench behind Shinsou. His feet were spread before him, fingers drumming onto his directional equipment. “Since it’s winter, the night comes sooo much earlier now. I swear some weirdos really appear out of the woodworks when the night comes! Like just before I was going to make my way back here, I swear I saw Aizawa-sensei hanging out on the rooftops like some super-secret ninja, right?”

Shinsou frowned. He knew his mentor turned friend was actually on vacation at the moment in Hawaii. Something he thought, at the very least, was long overdue. 

“Aizawa is in Hawaii right now,” Shinsou quickly spoke, his hands buckling the belt on his pants, before moving to lace up his boots. 

“Oh fuck, I told Todoroki he was in Seoul,” Kaminari cursed, the palm of his hand hitting his forehead. 

“Good going, who knows what weird message or gift he’ll end up sending to Aizawa now,” Shinsou couldn’t help the small smirk from spreading on his face at that note.

After being accepted into the Hero Course over in UA, Shinsou couldn’t help but be initially disappointed when he was placed within Class 1-B — Class 2-B at that point — simply because his mentor was with Class 1-A. The initial disappointment didn’t last very long when he got to know the rest of Class 2-B better, and he saw that while 2-A possessed raw talent, 2-B were more well-defined with a much bigger take-no-shit mentality that he appreciated more. That and 2-A were being strangled by a new villain of the month far too often, and Shinsou just wanted nothing more than to graduate from high school. 

Still, his lack of enrollment in Class 2-A didn’t mean that he didn’t see the rambunctious, nearly intolerable group of twenty in class 2-A. As a matter of fact, he thought he saw them a bit more than he’d like. Aizawa was his mentor, so he understood seeing him around, but for some reason, 2-A was never too far away. As soon as Shinsou was admitted into the Hero Course and the two hero classes had weekly meals together, which meant that to him, just the slightest bit, 2-A felt like an unwanted, annoying, ugly stepchild.

So no, Shinsou could not tell you 2-A’s inside class jokes, but he knew a lot more about the forty other hero students than he’d ever like to admit. 

And through his knowledge, he knew that the ever so powerful Todoroki Shouto was an idiot, probably a bigger one than Kaminari.

“I hate that you call Aizawa-sensei just…” Kaminari trailed off, a disgusted shiver running down his spine as if it sickened him to remove the single formality.

“Aizawa,” Shinsou said once more.

“Stop.”

“Aizawa.”

“Hitoshi!”

“Aizawa.”

“PLEASE!”

“Shouta.”

Kaminari hit the floor, his chest heaving with fake, bitter sobs while Shinsou couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of his over-dramatic friend on the ground. He had to admit, Shouta felt weird on his tongue too.

“Stop making a huge deal about how Aizawa and I are closer than you are,” Shinsou half-joked half-told-the-truth.

He was more than well aware of his mentor’s former students trying to become even closer to their beloved homeroom teacher. All doing it in their own ways, all relatively unsuccessful because unknown to them (but not Shinsou), Aizawa already loved them all thoroughly, not that he’ll ever tell them.

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO SHAVE OFF MITTENS FUR!”

Oh yeah, that had lost a lot of love points for Kaminari.

Sighing softly, Shinsou placed his newly replaced coiled capturing weapon around his shoulders, and his artificial vocal cords mask onto his chest until he was off on patrol.

“Why’d you think you saw Aizawa?” he asked again, trying to finish the conversation so that he could leave. It felt like it was going to be a long night if Kaminari confirmed where his thoughts were already trailing. 

“Hm?” Kaminari finally looked up from his puddle of tears on the floor, tears streaking all over his face, small charges of electricity humming off it. He blinked once, twice, his eyes shooting to the ceiling as if the answer was there before his fist came down to hit his open palm in a flash of realization. “Oh, I remember! There was this person, obviously not Aizawa-sensei, standing by the edge of a building watching everyone below. Hair whipping in the wind and his capturing weapon fluttering around them!”

Just as Shinsou thought.

“Where did you see her?”

“Her?!”

“Where, Kaminari?”

“Uh… well, I guess by Gramps convenience store. Don’t tell me this is some super sexy megafan of yours! Wait… do tell me, or… no, I’ll get jealous if you’re having rooftop sex with — eh?! where are you going?! Hitoshi?!”

“My shift started two minutes ago,” Shinsou explained, one of his hands lifting in a wave as he exited the locker room, his heart hammering quickly, knowing just who he was going to need to track down tonight.

…

..

.

It was dark.

Shinsou’s eyes squinting as he hopped from one rooftop onto the other, his capturing device assisting him in clearing the dooming crevice. He wasn’t exactly the most physically threatening, and unfortunately, that also meant he wasn’t exactly the greatest at parkour type movements, although he was getting better. Maybe had he started to ask for earlier shifts, where he would be out when the sun was, he could get better faster.

It was tricky with only the moonlight to guide him, but that’s what he could get at the moment.

As he scuffled through the gravel rooftop of one of the abandoned buildings, Shinsou found himself squinting at the figure in the distance. The one perched near what Kaminari oh so fondly refers to as Gramps convenience store.

He studied the form of the picture still person, noticing if it wasn’t for the slight wind through your hair and twisting capturing weapon around your neck, he would think you’re a statue. But he knows better now, he’s known better for quite some time now. 

“What’re you doing out here, y/l/n?” Shinsou found himself speaking the moment he stepped behind you, hands shoving into his pant pockets.

You didn’t move, nor did you respond, your body still completely still while peering down at the empty world fascinated on who knows what.

“Y/l—”

“How can I help ya, Mindjack-senpai?” you interrupted him, your gaze still not removed from the world below the building. “I hear it’s supposed to be a busy night tonight.”

Shinsou paused, his brows scrunching at your words.

It was plain to see to Heroes that you were a villain, you did what you wanted when you wanted, whatever the price, but if there was one thing Shinsou had learned with this rather weird cat and mouse game the two of you played time and time again was that you didn’t lie. 

What was happening?

“A busy night?” Shinsou questioned, his quirk still unactivated, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to Brainwash an answer out of you anyways. “Where at?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Mr. Hero?” you teased slowly, and Shinsou had to deny the way that the way your head finally turned to lock eyes with his made his stomach clench.

It meant nothing.

Nothing at all.

“You know what happens when you slight me,” Shinsou couldn’t help but warn, the bandages on his neck rising under his command. But your eyes blinked slowly, lips spreading into a lazy, cunning smile.

“And you know what happens when you underestimate me,” you returned, fingers gliding against his old weapon — yes, old weapon. Just two months ago, just before your last arrest, you had viciously stolen it from him, your foot crushing his vocal cords while you managed to pry the weapon from his broken fingers. “Anyways, Mindjack-senpai, it’s a bit unethical of you, a hero, to be threatening me in such a way! I’m just a poor girl waiting for the love of my life to show up.”

“And have they?”

You blink, a soft giggle escaping your lips as you nod, “I got him right where I want him.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Shinsou snapped despite the lick of warmth against his chest and cheeks. “I’ll have you arrested again.”

Now, this has you turning from the edge of the building, you sit on the ledge of the building, fingers supporting your head as you stare at him without fear. Shinsou really fucking hated how fast you riled him up.

“Arrested? But Mr. Mindjack-senpai, didn’t you know?” you ask, the taunt evident in your voice, the twinkle in your eye devastatingly bright. “I’m a changed woman. I’m what you call a hero now. You wouldn’t arrest an innocent heroine, could you?”

“You’re hardly innocent,” Shinsou responded back smoothly and deftly, not at all yet entirely impressed by you. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” 

He blamed his deep impressions of you on the stupid black and purple attire you wore.

“Well, you know as well as I do that I just got out, but I feel like except what happened two days ago, I’ve really changed,” you emptily promise, pushing off the ledge, sauntering closer to Shinsou until he felt the tip of your nose brush against his. “I’ll make sure to think about you whenever… bad feelings come up.”

He prays you don’t see the scarlet flush on his face.

You’re already back at the ledge when he blinks, and he watches you raise two fingers to your temple in a mock salute as you wink at him.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but two blocks east, seven blocks south from the heart of Tokyo is where you’ll find trouble,” you inform him, dropping the salute as you turn to run.

But Shinsou wants his damn weapon back.

“Y/l/n, wait!”

“Yes—?”

You froze at the ledge, your eyes spacing out, and Shinsou sighed, moving to collect his weapon from you until you suddenly dove off the building, a burst of cheerful laughter on your tongue.

“Oh, I forgot to tell ya!” you screamed from the next building over, your fingers threading through the alloy metal cloths. “I got some earbuds just for when you’re around! They make your voice into electrical signals just for me! So guess what?!”

Shinsou didn’t need you to complete that sentence in order for him to realize what you had just gotten your hands onto.

As long as you wore those, his quirk was useless against you.

Despite knowing that a villain held the key to his demise as a hero, he chuckled, running a hand through his short purple hair.

You really were something.

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Shinsou never took himself as an especially suspicious person.

He figured he had days where he was suspicious of some people the correct amount, especially when they had the most painted on emotions he’s ever seen. Some days he was overly trusting and blamed tight smiles on something acute to nerves. Without meaning to brag, he felt like he was healthily suspicious of people, unlike others he knew who wouldn’t dare to interact with anyone new or would spill their darkest secret to anyone who would listen.

But there was something entirely, conspicuously suspicious with how you were behaving.

Winter had long passed, the long winter nights and graveyard shifts of endless freak encounters had worn a hole in his patience and boots. The spring season was beginning to end, and the warm days and nights of summer were setting on his skin.

Six full months of you, the first-ever villain he had fought as a Pro Hero, the first-ever villain to have openly flirted with him and to have him flirt back, being suspiciously… kind. 

Every shift of his, he would find you waiting for him on one of the regular rooftops. Every time he would check in with the database to make sure you weren’t wanted for some crime to find that you were innocent. Every time he would feel pissed off because you wore those earbuds that rendered his quirk useless and you somehow mastered the capturing weapon within weeks.

Now Shinsou didn’t pout, he really didn’t, but there were moments where you would appear from behind him, finger swiping down his spine as you effortlessly twirled around him, a stupid sly grin on your face as you held onto the collar of his hero costume.

“Don’t pout, Mindjack-senpai, I’m here now,” you’d purr each and every time.

He loved the dangerous purr to your voice, the way your eyes hooded over, peering at him through your eyelashes, but he knew better. He had to know better. It wasn’t that villains were terrible people per se; he’d learned a lot of villains were just thoroughly sick of being mistreated (and he had wondered what would have happened if he had been denied from UA… would he be one?). He knew that for the most part, you were quite harmless, merely sticking your nose where it didn’t belong, living a life to your personal laws and rules.

It didn’t make you evil, merely dangerous.

But he had a job to do where even if it was justifiable to beat the ever-living shit out of your sister's abuser, nearly murdering him in rage and refusing to calm down when Shinsou had arrived on the scene with the use of his quirk didn't hold up well in court. It had started this long chain of events where you had absolutely hated him for a time as you were forced to stay overnight in a jailhouse. And many horrible days afterward where you performed what Shinsou had thought to be illegal actions only to find that no, they weren’t. As a matter of fact, entirely legal because Japan had yet to update their codes. 

Long after he had discovered this, you had returned to actual crime, your physical ability growing by leaps and bounds as he ran after you after catching you doing something dangerously illegal. Shinsou was a proud hero and was incredibly proud of the impact he made as a Pro Hero, but it was clear as day, even to him, that he often let you slip through his fingers. Like a child opening their cupped fingers and wondering why the water had left.

He wasn’t sure what it was about you that made him act this way, but he certainly didn’t wish to find out.

“So what’s on the schedule today, Mindjack-senpai?” you asked, appearing from the shadows of the rooftop, not scaring Shinsou in the slightest as this was always where you greeted him. “Are we saving the Prime Minister today? Stealing — I mean, protecting those stupid bedazzled eggs in the museum? Perhaps solving an unsolvable case?”

“Smooth,” Shinsou snarked, his tired purple eyes piercing through your bright ones that seemed undoubtedly excited. “How many times do I gotta tell you that there aren't that many actual case assignments? Besides, most team-ups happen in the morning when I’m asleep.”

“Being a hero is so boring!”

“You’re not a hero.”

“Am too!” Shinsou snorted, turning on his heel and began walking away, listening to your footsteps running after him to keep up with his long paces as you cried that out.

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No.”

“Yes!”

Shinsou stopped, his eyebrow raised in slight forced annoyance but much more amusement, when you spun in front of him, hand on his chest, cheeks puffing with your heavy breathes.

“Look!”

Tilting his head back, Shinsou grunted when your phone was shoved in his face. “What is this?”

“Hero Commission Regulation Handbook, page fifty-four, Article three, sub-article twenty-three,” you chirped, turning your phone back to yourself so that you may read it correctly. “It states that besides attending hero school like a bunch of nerds, civilians have the option of securing internships with approved Pro Heroes and work side by side with them for six months! Once finishing their internships, said Pro Hero must simply sign my licensing papers and bam, a hero I’ll become.”

“And which sniveling hero did you get to do your dirty work?” Shinsou scoffed, not at all buying the notion that you of all people wanted to become a hero. A vigilante at best, an anti-hero much more realistically, and staying a villain as default.

“You,” you smirked, winking at him before turning on your heel and sauntering off, knowing full well the patterns of his routines. 

Shinsou sighed, but he let a familiar smirk fall on his face as he walked after you, enjoying the way you glanced back at him with your wide clear eyes. But that suspicious, gut feeling didn’t leave his core, no matter how sweet and beautiful he found your smile. 

“So, Mindjack-senpai, who are we apprehending today?”

“You want me to sign your paper this entire time, and you’ve been addressing me as senpai?” Shinsou commented, his weapon shooting off to a nearby building, snapping straight in his hand when it was ready. “Where are your manners? It’s Mindjack-sensei to you.”

He didn’t wait for your response, choosing to swing off the ledge of the building with no hesitation, but a part of him wished he could have heard the sound of your laugh he only seemed to hear through the streaming, far away air.

…

… 

While usually, Shinsou didn’t have actual cases during his patrols, this job, after all, was much more spontaneous than anything else, today was different.

Today was different altogether, really.

First off, he showed up to work when the sun was still up just to get his meeting intel down in time for him to be out on the scene in time. He had nodded plenty, silently taking in Creati’s information on the drug cartel they wanted to in the next few weeks take down for numerous charges. The creation of dangerous, illegal drugs, prostitution rings, robbery, and murder being the main ones. It was some bigger stuff, so they needed all the evidence they could get.

Shinsou stared at the faces of the more prominent names of the cartel, studying every crook, nanny, and scar on their faces as Creati simply ended with where they focused down onto where their drug creating facilities were at, but still needed confirmation. “They’re pretty difficult to get to without knowing where they are,” Creati admitted, handing him a GPS. “You’ll need this.” He would be the first to start evidence gathering; after all, his old classmates would begin tomorrow.

So he had left, going to the first hideout and finding out it was completely empty. Not a single spec of evidence remaining, not a secret door or trap to get him to where they could be hiding from sight.

So was the next.

And the next.

And the next.

Something sat weirdly in his stomach as he began walking towards the final one on his list, and he froze when he saw lights shifting and moving from around the building. Quickly, Shinsou hopped to higher grounds, his phone already out, ready to take pictures. He lay low to the rooftop, practically army crawling to get to place to place as he neared the windows on the rooftop, allowing him to peer in onto the building he was scouting to find precisely what he needed. 

The entire building was a drug production spot.

His eyes scanned the building floor, singling out ten of the twelve main heads on the cartel, and he smirked. Perfect.

“Whatcha doing here, Mindjack-sensei?” your voice whispered millimeters from his ear, and Shinsou bit his tongue harshly to keep the instinctual scream from ruining his covert operation.

He snapped his head over to you, eyes slightly furious, eyebrows knitted tightly as he looked to see you leaning toward him. You were in a different outfit today, completely black, drowning you out in the night. He blinked; even the capturing weapon he had still been unsuccessful in stealing back from you was pitch black.

“What’re you wearing?”

“Do you like it?” you asked, straightening up and twirling for him as if you were wearing a magnificent dress and not personally created ‘hero’ clothes. “Ah, I hoped you would! Sorry, I had to get rid of the purple. I just felt it made me look too cute, right? I know I can’t have villains falling for me like you had me falling for you!”

Shinsou did not blush, no he didn’t, “shut up.”

“So what are we looking for today?” you asked, pressing down onto the floor beside him. Your arm touching his as pressed your face towards the glass. “Is this a stakeout?”

“Less stakeout, more information gathering,” Shinsou grumbled, typing some needed notes onto a file on his phone. It seemed to him that there was plenty here for the drug making charges. “We’re trying to get their bigger names caught in the action.”

“Oh, I thought heroes just burst in whenever they wanted, that’s what they do in the movies. Plus, you always threaten me with being arrested with no evidence,” you giggle, shifting closer to the glass, smile wide on your face.

“After saying that, say goodbye to me signing off that paper of yours,” he grunted, slipping his phone back into his pocket while you scrunch your nose at him. Shinsou couldn’t help but stare at you as the palms of your hands supported your chin as you hummed some song he couldn’t recognize.

“Ne, Mindjack-sensei, did you get the big boss?” you asked, your finger pressed against the cold glass, and Shinsou frowned, returning his head to the glass.

Right where you were pointing was, in fact, the head of the cartel. He was horrendously scrawny, holding no sense of fear or malice, and Shinsou wondered what his quirk could be that he was in charge of an operation such as this one.

“Oh, his right-hand man came too! All twelve are here!” you cheered quietly as Shinsou took documentation on his phone, and that suspicious rock in his stomach finally made sense at this second.

“Y/l/n?” he asked, head turning toward yours, tired eyes glinting with emotions he didn’t know how to handle.

“Mhm?”

“How did you know there were twelve main members, and how’d they look like?”

Silence.

Shinsou’s lips pulled back into a snarl, his canines glinting as he locked eyes with yours that were wide with shock and disbelief.

“How’d you find me—?”

He watched you lean away from the glass, fingers shooting to your earpieces. And with the inkling of suspicion sprinting through his veins, the purple-haired hero still found that he moved too slow. 

BOOM!!!!

He blacked out when his body flew with the explosion.

...

..

.

Ringing.

Pain.

Numbness.

Shinsou could only hear ringing in his ears as soot and ashes fell down from the sky, falling on his body, coating his gaping, open mouth as he tried to breathe, trying to calm himself. Was he bleeding? Was he dying? Where was the explosion from? Were you okay?

His eyes blinked heavily, altogether so irregularly that Shinsou couldn’t help but feel he was out of his body when you reappeared in his sight. Your hand pressing to his cheeks sympathetically, eyes truly hurt as you shook your head, hand grabbing into his bloodied pocket to take his phone.

“I’m sorry,” your voice seemingly whispered, just loud enough for him to hear you through the ringing from the explosion. “You weren’t supposed to be here, Mindjack… these are the scumbags that hurt my friends and family. I couldn’t let them live. Plus… I didn't have a choice, they were competition.”

He spluttered, the warm goo of blood and saliva choking out of his mouth as he convulsed on the ground, his eyes watching as you went.

“See you later, hero.”

He tried to yell at you to come back, that you were a coward, a fucking menace that he would destroy the next time he saw you, but his voice failed to work. Nothing was working except his pain receptors, his heart that kept shoving blood into his lungs that he kept spitting up, but he saw flashing white and red lights as unconsciousness sank its jagged teeth into his neck.

An ambulance was here.

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It took four months to recover from the accident.

His hearing had been fucked up. Not even medical quirks had managed to save his hearing entirely. But hey, it did get him the chance for Bakugou Katsuki to come to his room, called him pathetic, and showed off his own hearing aid that he had needed since his quirk had damaged his own hearing. Not to mention that for the past four months, he had been teaching him sign language just in case.

He wasn’t alone, it seemed.

But it was four months, and he had recovered fully.

The hearing aid he required in his left ear still made his ear ache in pain, and he found that he liked it much better shoved in the back of a draw than anything else. But he knew it was dangerous to be a hero without his full hearing. If it hadn’t been for Bakugou’s trial through this all and the help of Hatsume Mei to create a more appropriate hearing aid for heroes, he wasn’t sure if he would still be here — working that is.

But today — or well, night — was a new day, and he was going to push ahead. He could do this, no sweat, no problem. 

Well, that was until an all too familiar figure sat perched on a ledge on his usual route, legs swaying in the air as uncontrolled rage bubbled in his chest. It wasn’t entirely your fault, but a large part of Shinsou was embarrassed to have been caught up in all of this because of you. He had trusted you above all else even when his instincts yelled at him not to because he knew what it was like to be painted as a villain, and he had hoped by letting you in more, you would have changed. He thought you had.

But you hadn’t.

Not one bit.

…

…

You sat at the edge of the building, already having heard the loud crunch of Shinsou’s shoes against the gravel rooftop, but you didn’t turn around. You didn’t know how to face him, how to tell him that you were both sorry that he got caught up in your schemes, but that you weren’t sorry for what you had done. Those bastards had it coming.

“Give me one good reason not to push you off the building,” Shinsou growled, probably much louder than he intended. 

Instead of answering, you shrugged.

You hadn’t brought the earbuds that would keep you from being immune to his quirk, and you slightly feared what would happen if you gave in to the whispers of his words. Would you blackout in a daze before coming back to normal only when placed in the prefectures jail? Would he actually attempt to kill you? You had no idea.

But you turned on the ledge, looking at his tired purple eyes that shook with his anger and betrayal. You had done a number on him.

“So, now you can’t seem to respond back to me?” he laughed bitterly, his teeth bared into a way too fierce smile, one that made your heart thump and sent a shiver down your spine. “What game do you think you’re playing?”

You still didn’t answer as you planted your feet back onto the rooftop and stood up, watching as his binds flared to life. Dancing and weaving around him in a dangerous coil of fabric, like a frilled dragon lion lizard extending its skin in a warning.

“Should’ve taken you down with that first time I found you,” he spat, his eyes narrowing as you took steps toward him, and the weapon seemed to snap at you. “Did your sister pull the same bullshit on him as you did me? Is that why he became ‘psycho?’”

Now that one nearly got the response out of you as fury thrummed through your veins as you were suddenly nose to nose. You couldn’t help it, but you knew there was no point in explaining your reasoning for doing what you did because he would never understand; he couldn’t. 

So as his eyes flashed dangerously from your eyes, his breathing coming down harshly against your upper lip, the hatred he had for you (that was probably reignited from a year ago and make it double) simmered between the air between you and him. You couldn’t resist.

Your lips pressed against his in a simmering hot kiss. 

Shinsou shoved you away, as quickly as you had pressed your mouth against his, but you were back on him before he could utter a word. Only that this time, he kissed you back with scalding, burning heat. 

You never really knew how much smaller you were to Shinsou until you were on the tips of your toes to kiss him, his hands practically burning you as they gripped onto your hips, pulling you so close there was hardly any room to breathe. His kiss was hateful, spiteful, and full of unspoken passion the two of you had never addressed during the period that was good. It had been so good, but he was a hero, he would never understand.

His teeth bit harshly onto your lower lip, and you hissed, your fingers burying into his hair and tugging at the root of his hair as his tongue came and pressed dangerously against yours. His tongue was hot against yours, he was undoubtedly much more hotblooded than you were, and with his emotions heightened, he exhausted what. 

Tongues clashed against one another, but it wasn’t even a battle of dominance; it was a battle to find who surrendered. There was to be no joy or excitement for whichever tongue prevailed, just the burning of the tears falling down your face and the acid taste on your tongue as he suckled on your pink muscle.

Your eyes were partially opened, watching his angry yet blank purple eyes meet yours, neither one of you allowing yourself to give in to the pure elation and sensation this was bringing. No, he wouldn’t allow it, and you wouldn’t have it.

The stubble of his beard scratched into your skin repetitively, feeling like sandpaper against your own skin as the kiss deepened, consuming the both of you on a whole new level as your crotches ground roughly against one another. Hisses and groans couldn’t stop pouring from your collective mouths, both of you hating yet craving more from this all. You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he spoke to you like this, would he do something to you while you were like this? So when his massive, thick hand made contact with the underneath of your ass, scooping up your leg so that your covered cunt could now correctly grind into his hard cock, the weapon you stole from him a year ago bound around his neck, choking him, collaring him.

“I like my bitches chained up,” you mocked against his lips, but somehow, someway, Shinsou liked it. 

You groaned loudly at the way Shinsou gasped for air against the makeshift collar, your grin widening as you nodded your head, pulling away from his mouth as the grin became a smirk. “Didn’t think you wanted to talk when we were fucking?” you lied, teeth biting onto his lower lip and sucking on it as your hips oh so artfully bucked against his covered cock. You could feel the growing slick in your panties beginning to feel uncomfortable with the lack of proper friction, and your head lolled backward when he slammed your core against his, devilishly grinding against you.

He picked up your other leg and dropped the both of you to the floor, the uncomfortable gravel stone floor digging painfully into your back, but you could care less. Shinsou’s mouth was already back on your body, scratchy, scraping kisses placed on your neck, making you moan out, legs wrapping around his waist as you cant your hips upward to grind into him.

Unamused with the lack of his hands on your body, you took his arms that were planted at your shoulders and pressed his heavy palms on your breasts, avoiding the pissed look in his eyes as his teeth marked you painfully. You actually shrieked in pain. The feeling of his teeth tearing through the skin on your neck, while his finger kneaded and pulled at your covered breasts. It was unashamedly painful with how he played with your breasts. He seemed to grow happier with every sound of distress you made.

Fisting your hands back into his hair, you pulled him back to your face level, your eyes fluttered at the way his clothed erection carded perfectly between your sopping wet cunt. Blood stained his mouth, making his teeth slightly orange in tint, and you clicked your teeth in partial anger and pain as your neck throbbed. Slamming your lips back against his, you almost gagged at the taste of iron that soared through your senses as his tongue wasted no time to seek yours out. His lips and fingers were so ardent, manipulating your every body movement, cry of pain and pleasure as thrumming hatred for the stupid, stubborn hero above you still coursed through your veins. 

Sweat began to form at your temples as your lips gilded against his, your hips snapping up to meet his grinding hips, and an airy response keened from his mouth as you moaned loudly.

His incessantly grinding hips were making your legs shake with stimulation, your whines and whimpers for more opening like a flood gate as you finally stuck a hand between the two of you and shoved his pants to his knees. You dropped your legs from around his waist, and he assisted you in ripping your pants off from one side of your body, the fabric still clinging to your right leg, but you could hardly care. All you wanted was for him to plant his cock into your blazing heat and to fuck you, to claim you here on this rooftop that started and would end it all. You wanted him, his cock, and him.

“Fuck me,” you begged into his ear, and his back shivered with your words. You hooked your leg around his waist, carding his hot, throbbing cock against your soaked pussy, as you rolled your hips. “I want you to fuck me, fill me with his cock, and cum deep within me to show me just how much you fucking hate me.”

You cried out when his hand shot down to his cock to line it up with your squeezing, dripping hole, his mouth once again covering yours, kissing you aggressively, fueled with an emotion you could taste as bitter hatred. Your legs trembled as the tip of his cock continued to press against your entrance, not entirely entering it, not giving you friction to send you into a euphoric end. You could help the snarl that passed through your lips, your eyes angry beyond repair as the head of his cock continued to deny you. Whenever you tried to grind down, to force your walls around his cock, he went down with you, he wouldn’t allow it, and your cunt clenched against nothing as he gave you nothing.

Shinsou wheezes out a bitter chuckle, his hand raising his cock from between your soaked folds to slap his heavy, thick, and long length against your throbbing clit.

Hatred and desire soak your body, and you needily rub your clit against his cock, your hands shoving up his shirt to feel the scarred pattern of his back as you give him new ones that were produced by your nails.

“Don’t tease me, hero,” you snapped, fingers tearing into his skin to draw blood. “You fuck my pussy so good, right now, or I promise next time you’ll go out with that bomb too.”

That seems to do what you want because before those words settle on your nerves. His cock penetrates deeply within you, bottoming out entirely as your head thrashes back against the gravel of the floor, throbbing pain from that entirely ignorable because fuck, his cock was stretching you out. He was so thick, so fucking veiny that you could feel the pulsating veins on his cock pressing against your puffy, sensitive walls. You scream his name as the pleasure-filled pain pulses within you, your hips thrashing, wildly bucking in your attempt to calm from the sudden placement of his cock.

“Why are you so fucking big?” you splutter, a whining pitch to your voice as you clawed at his back, trying to separate your joined bodies but also trying to get even closer. “It’s so big, my walls feel like! Oh fuck, Shinsou, it feels like Imma split in two!”

It seems that Shinsou holds some great pride over those worse, because he growled deep in his chest, and his hips begin to fuck into you. It sends your hands to the base of his neck, clutching onto his skin with hope as you scream in pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head as the wet squelches fill the air and tickle your ears. The head of his cock keeps dragging against your spongy wall, brushing over your g-spot over and over again as if he knew where it was, as if it was common knowledge as he fucked you further into the gravel floor. It didn’t even hurt anymore, your skin singing with joy as his cock fucked you stupid.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck me!” you whined, and Shiinsou made an approving noise. 

He grunts as your cunt flutters and clenches around him, his balls hitting your skin in possibly bruising force and speed. And his pelvis crashing against your stings ever so slightly, but has you begging for more, sobbing for more.

Your vulgar words and moans are unstoppable at this point, your legs and thighs trembling as they are still circled around him, sometimes assisting you in coming up to meet his driving, drilling hips. You whine into his ear, your mouth pressing blind and sloppy kisses against his slick with sweat neck.

It’s when both his hands bring your hips up to him, his cock finally bottoming out entirely within you, does the most primal moan rip through your mouth. You convulse underneath him, trying to move as the head of his cock buries against your cervix, poking your womb with power and speed that has you swearing behind the blackness of your vision that this sensation brings. You can see the entire galaxy, the world lighting up when his cock leaves the thin wall, and you gasp, shocked that the heat and slick of your cunt is still going. You tremble underneath him, wordless cries pittering from your mouth while he bites on your earlobe.

You soon readjust to the numbing pleasure, the bruising pleasure, and pain that comes with his cock slamming against your cervix. The way that he thrusts up into you, stretching out your walls far more than you were ever used to.

 A pathetic cry escaped your lips when he rolled over so that you were now on top, your body bouncing as soon as it could against him. You keened and whined, feeling the top of his cock licking your cervix, and you spluttered.

“Fuck this angle, this angle and your cock!?” you stammered, fists curling into his collar as you rode him, his hips snapping up into yours with that same animalistic power and speed.

His pace is irreplicable, near maddening with every successive thrust of his hips. Each snap, each wet noise sends you close to the edge, your inner walls clenching and milking his length with greater power as your senseless cries fill the night sky. His grip on your waist will leave purple bruises later tonight, you just know it, but the fire in his eyes as you lock fazes is enough for you to be okay with it.

Its intensifying, deepening, fire erupting in your core as your cunt throbs.

Sweat, tears, and spit fall from your face, and Shinsou surges upward, kissing you with everything he can. It's a maddening escape of lust and need and hatred being exchanged, saliva spreading between you, covering your hot faces with slimy coldness, But you keep him close, your mouth drinking him in more, begging for more as your tongue sinks into his mouth.

His fingers rake down from your back. Past the curve of your clapping ass and onto your powerful thighs that helped in your action to claim his cock. Your joined mouths, both parted in silent screams, wordless begs for more, branding curses that spoke of his hatred for you, your hatred of his job.

Fuck this, fuck that, fuck, fuck, “fuck!”

You held each other impossibly close. Despite the barriers of shirts and armor separating your chests, you swore you could feel his hammering heart flush against your chest. A steady, consistent beat reminding you that this was a one-time thing, that this was yet another bomb with only one explosion to it.

“S-Shit!” his voice finally managed to escape from the makeshift collar, and you nearly sobbed at the sound of his gravelly, husky voice. 

You still hated him, you really hated him and his stupid deep voice. 

Your back arches as the control you had on collar suddenly slacks, as if you had never had it there, and his own noises of sex, of hatred, of pleasure fill and echo in your ear. You can hear him mumbling something in your ear, your head pathetically nodding, tears streaming down your face only you can’t seem to figure out why. The throbbing pressure in your stomach made you near uncomfortable as his cock sank and disappeared from your cunt, your walls' vice grip becoming tighter and tighter and tighter.

There’s vigor, untapped lust, pent up frustration as he rolls you both around, pushing you back into the gravel and dives his length into your wet, loud cunt without mercy. You were overworked, over thrilled, the pressure of your coming orgasm snapping into your every fiber of your being, your toes curling, and drool seeping from your lips as he growled. 

The noise seemed to resonate deeply in your own chest, and he pressed his sweaty forehead against yours, pathetic, needy noises escaping your lips as you stared into his angry, lusting eyes. And as he buried his teeth into your bottom lip, his nose scrunched in an aggressive snarl, he spoke with finality:

“Cum.”

You weren’t sure if you had suddenly fallen under the persuasion of his brainwash, or he just knew you were overfilled with pressure, but you went rigid in his hold, your eyes rolling backward, and your vision going white. You came in powerful waves, electric stimming vibrating through your entire body as your spongey, wet walls clamped around him, and Shinsou came in a guttural groan. His hips snapping into your with five last, robust, resounding thrusts until your trembling abdomen and thighs were stilled with his crushing weight.

 You could feel his hot cum pulsing and thriving deep within your cunt, and you panted heavily, your body feeling alarmingly weak as the both of you lay there. A puddle of cum, tears, drool, pain, longing, and hatred.

He lays on top of you, his chest heaving with his breathing, and you felt frozen beneath him. The pain of the gravel roof no longer adds to your pleasure but rather is stabbing you in pain. It’s quiet as you lay there.

He’s quiet.

You’re silent.

“Why’d you do it?” he asked suddenly, interrupting the silence that you hated.

“I can’t tell you,” you admit, voice thick and heavy with untold emotions.

“You know I’ll have to arrest you, right?” Shinsou spoke softly, but he didn’t move to capture you, and you didn’t move to run.

What was the point? It wasn’t as if there was ever a fighting chance for the both of you. The world would have never allowed it, so why bother?

“I don’t think you hate me enough to arrest me right now, sleep on it,” you softly chided, your eyes staring up into the universe, begging to know why they made you a freak?

“Not right now, you spent all my energy,” Shinsou admits, rising up from you, his soft cock removing itself from your humming core, and you looked away to keep from staring. “I really hate you though, y/l/n. I don’t like liars or pretenders.”

“Convince your cock of it next time,” you couldn’t help but fire back, your upper lip curling in your anger and hatred at the sound of his zipping pants.

Silence and a beat follow your words.

“I’ll tell you this now,” Shinsou spoke, turning on his heels, his tone was cold, distant, like a stranger who could care less for you. “Don’t let me see you again. If I do, I promise you, I’ll send your ass to Tartarus. We’re no longer on good terms.”

Anger, hatred, and fury course through your veins as you stand up, legs weak, but spirit wounded as you pull up your pants, uncaring of his cum leaking from your slit. 

“Don’t you dare show your face to me again! Next time I won’t save your fucking ass when I blow something up!” you snapped, the tears running down your face uncontrollable although your voice never gave it away. It didn’t have to though, he turned around one last time, and his eyes met yours, and the two of you glared and simmered. 

But, he didn’t bother to respond back as he disappeared into the shadows of the night sky.

You collapsed onto your knees, exhaustion finally catching up with you, and you realized his capturing weapon you had stolen was finally taken back by the rightful owner. You fell forward, the tears and silent sobs muffled by your bitten lip as you stayed on that rooftop for an hour. Crying like a freak.

Truth be told, you weren’t even sure if you ever hated him.

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[wincore]

vixen | nakamoto yuta

pairing: kitsune!yuta x female!reader

words: 5.1k 

summary: every year, you visit the fox who claims to know everything about you. 

genre: fantasy/folklore, fluff, angst(?)

warnings: suggestive, mention of past bullying, one excessively flirty nakamoto yuta

song rec(s): clear and sunny - sou (cover)

a/n: this is for all you furries who aren’t quite furries yet muah (im joking) but aaaa love exploring folklore and also i should put in a disclaimer that not every aspect adheres to the original tales of the kitsune <3 i did not proofread btw and i am very sorry

Some things never change.

Examples: boys, shitty friends, death, and the scent of nostalgia. To you, that very scent happens to be the earthy smell of chrysanthemums and a faint waft of spices from the kitchen in your parents’ house. To you, October is not just another month. To you, there is one more thing that never changes and it is not your belief in old ghost stories. 

Around this time of the year, the autumn festival begins in a flurry of vibrant red smudges and a whiff of excitement, in streets suddenly brought alive. The skies are candied orange, and it’s the only time you aren’t tired of home. This time is also when you find yourself right in the clutches of the one demon you swore you’d avoid for the rest of your life. You swore. It’s not your fault that said demon is a little, let’s say, tempting. 

Tempting in the most vexing, infuriating way possible. Bewitching, cruel, seducing—all that foxes are and all that you’ve heard of them could not have prepared you for an encounter. Folklore runs deep through you. The memories of a certain fox-boy run deeper. 

It is not the festival you are here for. 

You yawn, leaning against the wooden door frame of the shop. It would be inappropriate to fall asleep on the job, especially since there are a bunch of children staring idly at you. You close your mouth quickly, resting the back of your hand against your lips. Late afternoon is an easy time to fall asleep. You have half the mind to snarl at the kids to scare them off, their gaze getting on your nerves and when you think you will, you turn the other way. Manners come first to you, no matter how temperamental you get. 

The procession has gathered a crowd. Some shouts and squeals from the children make you slump further. At least they’re having fun with whatever stupid game they’re playing. You breathe in the autumn air. A part of you wonders if you simply let your feet lead you down the stairs, you’d be free of this entire ordeal. You shake your head. Temptation has always been hard to resist—never meant to be resisted but you’re much older now. There is dignity to be answered.

October is mild—your grandmother’s shop is still on the verge of collapse, your mother still yells at you for misplacing kitchen utensils and your old friends from school still gossip about who you’re dating. It’s like the script never changes; people change the meaning, twist their words in the same old pattern. If you were a little less behaved, you would have poured your drink over their heads yesterday. 

You clench your jaw. It’s always an ‘Oh, you’re so attractive’ and an ‘I wish I could date as many men as you do but I’m loyal to my boyfriend’, or even a ‘Must be nice being surrounded by boys all the time’. You know what they mean. It’s not the first time you’ve been called a fox, and you don’t think it’ll be the last—at least until you decide to stop letting your hometown suffocate you. Maybe you’ll accept what they say. You have heard of what hatred left unchecked can do.

If you’re honest, you haven’t been with too many men. If you’re a little more honest, none of them have ever made your heart race.

You watch the children play with a keen eye, their painted masks ridiculously large for their faces and in brightly coloured clothes contrasting well with the town. You might not be allowed to fall asleep, but there’s nothing against closing your eyes for a second or two.

The image of glinting yellow eyes and a fanged smile pop up and you quickly open your eyes. You don’t know why your heart beats so loud at the mere thought of him, thoughts in which his lips are full and painted red, and his bright smile is stretched upon them. Sometimes, the thought of him is in gentle washes, his hand fixing your hair, or a flirty smile when you dare stumble upon him on a particularly sleepless night. You shake your head to get rid of the thought. That is not love. Some sort of embarrassing attraction, maybe. However, the friendship you have is worse.

“I see you’re a slacker as always.”

Your grandmother’s voice breaks you out of your cycle of thoughts and you’re almost grateful.

“I sold approximately zero sweets,” you snort. “Why can’t we just do away with the shop?”

“You’re starting to sound like your mother,” your grandma calls from behind one of the counters, distaste ringing clear in her voice. 

You sigh. “Fine, but… you work way too hard to make these for them to not sell.”

“Maybe they would sell if a certain little lady would stay and help.”

You groan, leaning your head back. “You know I have work in the city.”

Your grandmother waves her hand about, dismissing your reasoning. She fiddles around in the shadows for a bit before coming forward with more boxes than she should be able to hold.

“You don’t have to feel too guilty. Yuta’s been helping out,” your grandmother informs fondly. “You could learn a thing or two from him.”

You’re not the superstitious sort and yet still, your heart beats faster. For him, or for the bad omens foxes bring to a household—you don’t know.

You scoff instead. “He’s not as great a guy as you think, grandma. He can be really mean too!”

“Oh, I doubt that. Have you seen his smile? Impossible.” Your grandmother waves it off before drawing nearer, voice hushed without reason. “Have you thought about it then? He is handsome, isn’t he?”

“Grandma.”

You’re not sure what old women go through in their youth that makes them something of a matchmaker in their later years. You think the whole ordeal is messed up. There is no way you’re going to stick your nose into your grandchildren’s love life; it’s gross.

“These should be enough for the children, no?” Your grandmother asks and you look up.

“You’re giving them away for free?” you question, furrowing your eyebrows. “And you talk about bad business.”

She places her hand on her hip, pointing an accusatory finger. “You’re going to lecture your grandmother?”

You raise your hands up in defeat, standing up to help her with the red boxes of acorn candy and paper wraps of roasted chestnuts. You end up with the entire load in your arms, your grandmother happily shuffling about as she locks up the store.

You turn sharply at the surprised sound behind you. The evening has settled in and glowing lanterns bring forward the evidence, the darkening streets flooding with round droplets of light.

But it is not the festival you are looking at.

Yuta looks somewhat serene, your cheeks heating up despite yourself. You look at him with bated breath, hoping the boxes obscure your face enough to make the vaguely positive emotions less evident. The dark red jacket draped over his shoulder does not look out of place—in fact, he fits in so well you would’ve mistaken him for another face in the crowd if he weren’t stupidly gorgeous. He looks at you with no strong emotion in the eyes before breaking into a smile; and when his hand strokes the top of your head as a greeting, he seems fond. He always does.

“Grandma,” he calls with his best smile, turning to the old woman.

Your grandmother doesn’t need any more convincing of his character. 

“Oh, there you are! Did I tell you (name)’s back? I wanted to break the news to you earlier. Ah…I must have forgotten.”

You glance from Yuta to her. Is this another one of her tricks and tests?

“She’s always here this time of the year,” he responds, laughing politely.

“Ah, you remembered,” she says, eyes crescent as she smiles back. “Help her with the boxes. The city has made her so frail.”

“I’m good,” you choke on the words, hurriedly moving away and almost dropping one of the boxes.

You slip on your sandals and scurry off faster, wishing he’d just stay behind. He always has. The air makes you shiver but you’re adamant; and it’s not the only trait of yours to make relationships fail.

“You know, you should be nicer to old friends.”

You try not to react when Yuta takes the boxes from you, matching your pace almost effortlessly.

“I thought foxes ran away once they’re found out,” you snap, reluctantly letting him take the packages.

Yuta rolls his eyes. “I see you still aren’t very fond of me.”

“Not when you’re tricking my grandmother like this,” you hiss.

“You call helping trickery?” he retaliates.

“Foxes bring bad business,” you mutter.

“I’m the reason your grandmother’s business is somewhat above the water.”

You sigh, exasperated. There’s no point in wasting your breath. You look away, crossing your arms as you walk, the silence between the two of you suddenly awkward. Even so, you’re not going to open your mouth for him.

“Would you two slow down?” your grandmother calls, voice weary. “We’re already there.”

The two of you halt in your tracks immediately, taking mellow steps back to her. She looks over the two of you with furrowed eyebrows and you try to think of an explanation when she starts laughing.

“Oh, I don’t mind the two of you flirting,” she says, littered with slow laughter. “Just make sure the food is where it’s supposed to be.”

You’re about to refute when Yuta laughs, the sound still boyish and lively. “Of course. (name) missed me so much this year, she couldn’t help herself.”

You give him a pointed look which he ignores, deliberately or not. “We- I wasn’t—”

“Grandmother, if you’ll give us permission,” he interrupts, settling the packages on the table by the food stall and smiling wide. “We’ll go enjoy the festival now.”

She bobs her head in affirmation and Yuta grabs your hand to pull you into the bustling street, your silent plea for help ignored by your smug grandmother.

“What are you doing?” you ask, slipping your hand from his. “You aren’t- You aren’t trying to eat my liver, are you?”

“Why the liver? Can’t I have the rest of you too?”

It’s not like you were particularly alarmed but his response makes you feel a flush of embarrassment.

“It’s been a year since I last saw you,” he says before his voice turns a shade cooler. “Have you thought about my proposal?”

You fall silent. The overthinking started last year too. Your thoughts and dreams, so easily pervaded by him and all it took was one sentence. 

“We should get married.”

“Why did you even think I’d agree to that?” You try not to get too flustered. He knows all your petty weaknesses and you’d rather not have them on display for him to stare and pick at. “What the fuck would I get out of marrying you?”

Yuta whistles. “I like your tongue. But—yes, to answer your question, you’d get a very handsome and capable husband. Your bed will always be warm and oh, speaking of beds—”

You clamp your hand over his mouth at the suggestive look he sends, worried about being spotted by one of your school friends. Ah, right—friends, the very same people that smell of jealousy and won’t miss any opportunity to throw a jab your way. Friends. You can’t believe you’re still afraid of their judgement.

“And why do you want to get married to me?” you ask, looking into his eyes.

There’s a pause, filled with the chatter of the crowd.

“You look like you’re afraid of finding someone,” he speaks finally, ignoring your question. “Or is it the other way around?”

You roll your eyes, ready to walk off when he grabs your wrist to pull you closer to his chest. It draws some looks from nearby people, your eyes darting from face to face in fear. You take a deep breath and look at Yuta again, almond eyes distracting. 

“People will think we’re lovers,” you whisper, almost a hiss.

“What’s wrong with that?”

You breathe out in disbelief. “You’re really something.”

“What? Why did you always come to meet me then? Behind the keyaki tree?”

“It wasn’t for you,” you lie quickly. “I had nothing better to do.”

Pining after a fox? You could never have feelings for him. Even so, your answer comes off childish and silly, and somehow he’s the only one to be able to draw that side of you—the you that is messy and unprepared.

Yuta smiles in return. “You think people can’t fall in love with us the same way they fall in love with most everything.”

It’s a statement, not a question.

“How conservative of you,” he leaves with an airy remark, but not before urging you to follow him.

The sizzling sound of food being fried and the knocking, clicking sound of children playing games, all these forgotten sounds grow louder and for a second, if only you let yourself, you could close your eyes and it would be just like your first date. 

No. It’s different. You look up, eyes trailing over Yuta’s back, his golden hair, how his figure moves with ease and confidence.

It is different.

You raise an eyebrow at the box of takoyaki Yuta shoves towards you, an expecting look across his face.

“You like this, don’t you?” he asks, an uncharacteristic hesitation in his voice.

You hum in response, taking the box from him and saving yourself the trouble of asking whether he paid for it or simply charmed his way through. 

“Eh, no thank you?” he complains. “How polite.”

You scrunch your nose to accompany an exaggerated smile and he laughs, the two of wandering over the asphalt streets. Your hands are close enough to brush—and if a twenty-something year-old woman can feel jittery because of it, hands truly are meant to share warmth. The smell of candy and caramel fills the air, making you smile. You’ve saved enough for the taste of home, you think. 

The taste of home. 

Inevitably, the thought of kissing your companion crosses your mind and you stop in your tracks. Whatever. It must be natural when someone as attractive is beside you. Those aren’t feelings. You curse yourself for feeling like a teenager again.

The festival grounds aren’t as shabby as you expect them to be. The city,—if you could call this one—stops here and the earth spreads out to the forest behind. The crowd also thins, and you take a fresh breath. They’re selling old books in the corner, but no one seems to be there.

“The raccoon dogs,” Yuta whispers in your ear, with an arcane smile. “Want to visit those rascals?”

You roll your eyes. He knows you’ve heard one too many folktales for a lifetime, seen one too many. It’s time to go home, especially now that the thought of thanking him crosses your mind. You’re about to turn when your shoulder crashes into someone else’s. A surprised, syrupy smile greets you, which you cannot return for the first few moments. Yui’s smile wavers and you flash her a quick smile. A friend. Her arm is looped through her lover’s, the one she never shuts up about and suddenly the urge to pour water over her head returns.

Yuta glances from you to her before pressing his lips together, as if suppressing laughter. You’re almost offended when Yui laughs flippantly.

“You’re on a date too? I knew you couldn’t stand spending the festival alone,” she says, tugging her lover closer. 

People have always told you who you are and what you do. As if they know better.

You smile awkwardly. “It’s… actually not—”

“Oh, don’t be shy.” She gently pats your shoulder before leaning in. “He’s a real catch. As expected from you. You can never leave the boys alone.”

You know what she really means. You’ve heard the same words in high school when she was shoving you into a wall behind the school. The sickening smile is still on her face.

You gulp, feeling sixteen again. The lack of people around somehow makes it more awkward and you’re about to excuse yourself when suddenly, Yuta bumps into Yui and his warm drink spills over her left shoulder. Your eyes widen, more in confusion. When did he leave? You don’t doubt his ability to sneak past people, but surely you couldn’t have been so enraptured in your own feelings that you barely noticed.

“I’m so sorry,” Yuta says, voice honeyed with surprise.

Yui looks like she’s about to explode when she looks at him, her expression dropping to a calmer one almost immediately.

It’s an easy look to recognize. They always have it when they first meet Yuta, whether it’s the smile that’s too dazzling or the pretty round eyes. 

How persuasive, those eyes.

“Ah… I must have not seen you,” she says faintly, and Yuta’s smile widens.

Before he can stir up more trouble, you slip your arm into his and pull him away, not caring for another polite apology to an old, almost nameless face.

“I was having fun,” Yuta complains, voice still smug and calm.

You glare at him and it only seems to add fuel to the fire, to whatever cold fire dances at his fingertips. 

“You’re happy, right? Don’t look at me like that. You should reward me.”

You don’t respond, looking away and hoping to get at least a word in about how troublesome he is every single time you visit. Yuta has other plans, however. Leaning his head to look you in the eye, he maintains a distance which looks perfectly decent but feels less than so.

“How about a kiss? I deserve one, don’t I?” He moves his head closer to yours, making you shy away.

You grab him by the belt and pretend to not catch a glimpse of the pleased look on his face as you drag him into a secluded part by the forest.

It’s quieter here, so much that you can almost hear your own heart drumming in your chest, and the faint light of the distant festival grounds doesn’t help much at all. It’s dark as dusk, and you can only make out Yuta’s jawline and a faint smirk over his lips. You think that if a fox ever wanted to eat your liver, this would be the perfect spot.

“You did something,” you finally utter the words. “You did something to me.”

“Why do you think I did something? Do you mean love?” he responds with a cheeky smile. “This means you’ve been thinking about me? How cute—”

“Yuta, stop it,” you warn. 

“Or what? You should stop me yourself.”

You grab the lapels of his jacket, the cloth bunching as your knuckles turn white. The anger you feel isn’t the first of its kind—it’s just a little funny how it’s always Yuta every time, making you remember the burning feeling time and time again. You find yourself unable to respond. 

“Oh, don’t hold back,” he provokes, leaning in.

You push at his chest in exasperation, but he grabs your wrists before you can retract your hands.

“Scared?” he whispers.

You pull apart anyway, a scowl over your lips. “You’re as annoying as ever. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

“Ooh! Sharp claws. You’d be lovely as my fox-bride.” he teases. 

Your face flares with heat. “I’m not your… I’m not a fox.”

“I didn’t say a fox, I said—”

“I know what you said,” you snap, massaging your wrist so you don’t have to look at him.

Yuta falls quiet for a moment, voice lower when he speaks again.

“Is it so nasty to be called a fox? There are worse things, you know.”

You scoff, growing increasingly annoyed. “Of course you’d say that. I hate it. I hate this town. I hate foxes and I hate you.”

Yuta places a hand over his chest, gasping with no emotion. Your eyes linger over his long, painted nails a little longer before you meet his eyes. A part of you regrets saying the words but you couldn’t help it. The shroud choking your hometown makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs every time you’re here. You hate this place.

But you don’t hate him, after all. 

You try to clear yourself of the thought. A gentle gust of wind brings you back to the present, Yuta still glancing at you with no giveaway to what he’s feeling.

“You wouldn’t make a terrible fox though,” he says, eyes sharp. “Don’t they know you’re a vixen already? How many livers will you eat?”

You suck in a breath, tears stinging at your eyes. However, it’s not like you to get so easily affected by him. No. No, somehow that doesn’t make sense either. Those words do hurt from Yuta and you’re not sure if it’s just because he's the only one you didn’t expect them from.

“You…”

“What? Aren’t you going to lash at me again? You’re so predictable.”

His voice is calm despite your obvious annoyance and you feel flames lick at your heart. Your hand moves before you can think, about to meet his cheek when he grabs your wrist. You struggle, trying to pull free but to no avail and you use the other hand to hit him in the chest. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t bother him and that same feline smile curves up his lips.

You feel something you haven’t before, a warm growl at the pit of your stomach.

You push with all your strength, catching Yuta off guard and he stumbles backward but not before pulling you into him. Consequently, either of you lose footing and land on the grass with a sudden thud, Yuta’s side pressed against yours. His hands still clutch your wrist, and he shifts to hover over you.

“We used to wrestle like this as a litter,” he says, erupting into full laughter. “Ah, memories. I don’t even know if they’re alive or dead now.”

Yuta is much stronger than he looks, and he’s taken your tantrum as a source of amusement much to your infuriation. He has your hands pinned back, eyes unaffected as he scans over your face. You try to shift but there’s just too much weight on you. You breathe slowly, chest rising and falling in time with his. His earrings sway gently in the wind, dangling a few inches above you—he’s pretty, so pretty. Admitting defeat has never been your forte but now that your senses are gathering again, you feel a flush of embarrassment for losing your temper. 

Or perhaps, it is something else when you register the lack of distance between your noses.

“Playtime’s over,” Yuta coos. “You’re kinda cute when you’re losing.”

He tilts his head, an adoring smile over his lips. For a moment, they’re all you see.

Can a fox comfort you? Can a fox make you feel loved on the darkest of nights? Your mind races with questions your heart does not want to answer. 

Yuta leans in to close the distance and despite every nerve in your body, you turn your head away. You can hear him gulp, the following moments painfully quiet before he gets up. Your breath is soft and shallow, lying on the ground till you get enough courage to sit up. 

You almost gasp. His tails are clearer under the dim moonlight, all nine of them golden and luxurious. The light hitting his face isn’t any less flattering and once again you are reminded of how handsome he is, fairytale or not. 

Yuta looks uncomfortable, and that’s a first for you.

“I’m sorry,” you say, though you don’t know why.

He waves his hand dismissively, annoyed.

“Yuta,” you take a step forward.

“I see the way you look at me,” he says quietly, “Is it not want?”

You fall silent, biting your lip so you don’t retort violently. He doesn’t look particularly malicious when he says that but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of an answer yet.

He quietens for a moment before a look of curiosity flashes across his features.

“What is it then?” he asks. “Is it a secret? Foxes love secrets. Tell me.”

Despite every bone in your body burning up, you find it in yourself to laugh.

“I don’t think I could keep a secret from you if I tried,” you finally say, before bursting into soft laughter again.

Yuta looks at you puzzled, lips parted while he stands frozen as if he were a painting. A daunting, reckless, heavenly painting.

“It’s not want,” you answer quietly. “It’s more than that. Even if I hated it. I like you.”

Yuta’s ears perk up at your confession. “So- so you admit, then? You are interested?”

“I could blame you for this, you know?” You shrug, hugging yourself once the night starts to feel cold again. Yuta begins to take off his jacket when you stop him, gently pressing your palm against his chest. 

“You’re a fox, after all,” you whisper. “Like me. What they think of me.”

Yuta purses his lips. “Does it really hurt you? No, wait. Did they- did they—”

“Now, you tell me,” you cut him off. “Why do you insist on getting married—to me?”

There’s a pause. The crickets chirp a merry tune despite the leisurely darkness of the night.

“You’re not terrible,” he says, nonchalantly.

You glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. He looks wearier the more you look at him.

“I want to grow old,” he mumbles after a long pause. “Properly.”

You hold your breath.

“And you want to do it with me?”

Another flower blooms in your chest, as if he hasn’t planted a garden in there already. The lights from the festival flicker down, the lanterns burning brighter in the distance. He glances at them for a moment, your eyes still fixated on him. 

The tails glow even brighter in the dark, as if gold in broad daylight. You’ve always been curious about him and his kind, all the stories; but he says he’s too old to remember if you ask.

You reach out to touch one of the tails, wondering if the fur is as warm as it looks. They’re pale and captivating, but they look so soft—they shouldn’t belong to an animal so vicious. Is he, though? Is he all that you think he is or have all these years failed you? If anything, he’s quite probably not as much a fox as you are, you think bitterly.

The fur is warm, but the realization is short-lived.

A short growl leaves the corner of his mouth. Yuta glares at you like he was stolen from and yet, you do not move your hand. Some part of you wants to aggravate him further.

“I’m not a pet,” he snaps. “Stop that.”

“You should stop me yourself,” you mimic his voice.

Yuta’s shoulders relax, and he looks down but you can still see the trembling smile on his face. It’s the way he looks at you, you think to yourself, maybe that's the reason after all.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you say, feeling warmer than the autumn night should allow.

“Like what?” he asks, still smiling.

You look away. 

“You’re not too fox-like, you know?” you mumble. “You’re just annoying. And flirty. And annoying.”

Yuta chuckles, before pressing his palm to the top of your head. 

“And you’re lovely.”

You give in to the gesture of affection, leaning your head to press against his shoulder.

“Why do you even do all this? What do you get out of it?” you say, voice muffled. He hears you clearly, however.

“Because I love you,” he responds, as if coming to terms with it himself. “More than you think.”

There is no joke, no flirtation to his tone, no decoration upon his words. It’s plain, and laid bare. And sometimes, simplicity is scariest. 

You pull back, lips pulled into a frown. The air is cold once more; the longing for warmth flowing into you. The silence is worse.

“You don't believe foxes can fall in love,” he states softly upon a wavering smile. “I knew that. Of course.”

A part of him believes it too.

“I…” you begin, and for the first time, you are afraid of promises in the name of love. You are the one making them now.

“I’ll believe you,” you whisper, “I’ll believe you so please… please take care of me.”

You place your palm against his cheek, his skin bewitchingly warm. 

“Only if you take care of me,” he whispers back, leaning in.

This time, you do not move.

The lovers’ kiss you’d been searching for—lovers’ warmth, lovers’ comfort—all of it comes crashing down once Yuta tightens his arm around your waist, the other hand resting gently at the base of your neck. He kisses with the right amount of pressure, the vague taste of sweet berries in his mouth.

You used to fear his touch, like he would eat you whole; even if they have been gentle, always. This time, you might as well let him. He presses his lips from your cheek to jaw to neck, lingering at each spot enough to make you clutch at his shirt tighter, taking in short gasps of breath. You kiss for a little longer, like time means nothing.

“We should go back,” you whisper, pulling apart.

Yuta kisses you again, the distance unacceptable. 

“Yuta—”

He kisses you once more, your calls falling on deaf ears.

Finally, after another long kiss, he pulls apart enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.

“It must have been hard for you,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” you scoff.

“Foxes are faithful lovers, you know?” he insists.

You laugh. “What do you mean?”

“It means I’ll follow you everywhere.”

He stands up straight, his thumb stroking your cheek as he bites back a smile.

“I don’t think we should get back tonight,” he suggests all of a sudden. “We could book a hotel. That’s the place you use these days, right? I’m sure your grandmother will understand your absence��”

You groan, resting your forehead against his shoulder and he presents a delighted laugh in return. It is warm by his side; he is warm. You find it easy to forget the failures in love, the loneliness of a lover that isn’t meant to be yours. Folktales are just long tales, after all. You smile to yourself. 

You should’ve known—it was the fox all along. 

[dirtyoatmeall]

All it takes is one moment (Atsumu x reader)

A/N: uhhh sorry for dropping off the face of the earth!! I have a million WIPs I’ll hopefully be posting here shortly! I was reading a bunch of cheesy hurt/comfort fics last night and decided to make my own hehe, tbh it got me thinking of doing another one but no comfort and it turning into a slow burn with another character :0 Please read the warnings, this is Post-Timeskip, so spoilers for occupations. Everyone is probably like 25ish here? Also I apologize in advance for their accents, I tried in a few spots, I’m still getting used to it. (also @spiritofthescarletwoods I know you wanted to be tagged in the midoriya angst I promised a million years ago, but here’s some tsumu angst for now!)

Genre: Hurt/comfort or Angst with a happy ending

Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader (uhmm pronouns I believe are gn but I do not proof read as we all know)

Word Count: 4.?k

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationships, insinuation of cheating, slight misogynistic vibes for a moment, crude language, Atsumu is mean :( (Probably OOC Osamu and Atsumu), Post-time skip ((Let me know if I need to add something!)

_

You and Atsumu have been together for about 3 years now, and it was great. The two of you were very much in love, supported each other, and rarely fought, as you tried to be as open and communicate as much as possible. The last relationship you were in was toxic and abusive, it took a long time for you to be yourself again, and Atsumu had supported you along the way, he knew what had happened, and he swore to never make you feel like that again. And he stuck by that, until today.

Even though you rarely fought, when you did, it was resolved quickly, but this time was not the same. It had started off small. You had an important event coming up for work, you would be presenting on your year long research project, having made big findings in your field work. It was a huge deal for you, but when you brought it up at dinner, Atsumu did not have the same opinion.

“What do you mean you can’t make it? Everything I’ve been working on had led up to this, this is a career changing presentation, and you don’t want to go?” Hurt was clearly evident in your voice, as was frustration. Atsumu sighed, he’d had a horrible week, there was a big game coming up with the Adler’s and he needed to be prepared. “Like I said, I have practice that night, You can tell me all about it when you get home. I don’t see why you’re making a big fuss ‘bout it, ‘s just a presentation babe.” You furrowed your eyebrows looking at him incredulously.

“Did you not listen to anything I just said? It’s not just a presentation, this is my career Atsumu. I consistently put my own work aside to support you, why can’t you do the same for me? It’s not like I’m asking you to miss a game, it’s a practice.”  You could tell he was getting frustrated, but so were you, you made it a point to make every single game of his, missing out on work opportunities to come support him, him refusing to come to something so important was hurtful, and made you feel like you were less important than him, but before you could voice your feelings Atsumu spoke.

“This isn’t jus’ any practice. We have a big game comin’ up, it's important I’m there, ‘m the setter. Let's be real here, we both know which of us is the bread-maker in this household. This is basically a little hobby of yours, you can come back to it at any time. I’m a professional athlete hun, there’s only so much time I have before retirement.” He spoke in a condescending manner that baffled you. He’s never spoken to you like that before, is that how he really felt about your work? You scoffed, rising from the dinner table.

“Are you fucking kidding me, do you know condescending and frankly, misogynistic that was?” He sighed and rolled his eyes as he followed you with his plate, dinner half eaten and cold much like yours. “Here you go again” He muttered, though loud enough for you to hear. You dropped your plate in the sink and you looked at him, eyes wide, and furious.

“What did you just say to me? Here I go again? What the fuck does that mean Atsumu?” He set his plate on the counter, looking at you from across the island as he gripped the countertop. “What I mean is that yer always playing the victim, we get it, you last relationship was shitty, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like this all the time, I thought you got over it?”

You balked at him, was he serious right now? “Oh my god really? Are you seriously asking me if I got over an abusive relationship, after everything I’ve told you about it? After everything I had to do to get where I am now? We are supposed to support each other, I didn’t realize it was one sided.” Atsumu sighed, growing more frustrated, he tried to interrupt you, but you kept going, 

“All I wanted was for you to come to one dinner, after the years we’ve been together I haven’t asked you to miss any games or practices for my work, you know my coworkers have asked if I’m single? They didn’t believe me when I told them I was in a relationship, and you know what? I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t believe me either, since they’ve never seen you, and I take all this time off to travel and support you, all of your team know who I am, why is it so hard for you to do the same?”

As you kept going, his anger only grew, he tried interrupting you again, but it was like you weren’t paying attention to him, just spouting off whatever came to your head, and he was tired of it. 

He slammed his hand on the counter, the sound reverberating throughout the apartment. You flinched, hard, but Atsumu didn’t seem to notice. “Can you just shut up for one moment? God, all you do is go on and on nagging on how what I do isn’t enough, I pay the bills here, why isn’t that enough for you? I could care less about what’s going on at your job, I have absolutely no interest in it at all, when will you get that through your fucking skull? I. don’t. care.” By the time he was done his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the counter, and you had tears in your eyes. You sucked in a breath, steeling yourself.

“Ok, I’m going to remove myself from the situation, I’ll be at your brothers, you can come get me when you pull your head out of your ass.” He rolled his eyes as you strode past him, getting your purse from the hook and going to slip on your shoes. “Yeah go ahead, you gonna wet his dick for ‘im too? ‘m sure he’ll love that.” You stiffened for a moment, putting your shoes on before looking at him, tears making your vision blurry.

“Y’know I tell myself that this isn’t like last time, that you’re not him, but at times like this-“ Your voice cracked as a sob bubbled into your throat and you shook your head, turning and heading out the door. Atsumu flinched at your words and the soft click of the door latching, he would’ve preferred to hear it slam.

Your walk to the elevator was blurry but you knew the way by heart after living there for so long. You wiped at your eyes as you pulled out your phone, tapping on the contact before bringing the phone to your ear. It rang once before it picked up, a tired “hello?” coming from the other end. You let out a quiet sob as you loaded the elevator, trying to get the words to come out. Upon hearing you, Osamu spoke again, “(Y/N)? Are you crying? What’s wrong.” You cleared your throat and took a deep breath before speaking, your voice tight. “Hey ‘samu, can, can I come to your place? ‘tsumu and I- we-'' you broke out into another sob, and you could hear Osamu close a door.

“Where are you? I’ll pick you up, I’m just leaving the restaurant I’m close.” After telling him where you were, you stayed on the phone, walking in the direction of the restaurant. Not long you see Osamu’s car pull up, he quickly gets out and looks you over and sighed as he brings you in for a hug. You sob into his jacket for a moment while he rubbed your back gently. He knew about your past as well, and figured it must have been bad for you to leave in tears. He leads you to the car and makes sure you’re strapped in before heading to the drivers side and getting in, double checking your seatbelt before driving towards his apartment.

The drive was short, though to you it felt like it lasted hours. You tried to quiet your sobs, not wanting to bother him. He looked over at you every so often, worry evident in his gaze as he tried to figure out just what his stupid brother did.

After arriving at his apartment, he sat you down on the couch, wrapping a blanket around you and giving you a box of tissues before sitting next to you, gently asking what happened. You try not to cry as you retell the events of the evening, though it got harder and harder as you told him what Atsumu said to you. By the time you were finished you were crying again, and Osamu was furious.

“I-I just don’t understand ‘samu, the things he said, did he really m-mean them? And-and when he slammed his hand on the counter, the look on his face, it, it was like I was back there all over again, like I never left. I-I know he’d never hurt me,” You sobbed out, throat getting tighter as you go on, “But at that moment, all I could think was that he was gonna hit me, and I, I had to leave, and what he said before I left,” You hiccupped and cried into your hands, not able to finish.

Osamu rubbed your back as you cried before getting up to make some tea. While the water was boiling he went into the other room, trying to calm himself down before calling his brother. The line rang three times before it was picked up, a frustrated “what do you want?” coming from the other end. It was enough to dwindle Osamu’s patience into nothing. He tried to keep his voice down, not wanting to distress you further.

“What do I want? Do you know how badly you fucked up? (Y/N) is here crying on my couch right now, do you know what she told me ‘tsumu? She told me she thought you were going to hit her. Are you fucking kidding me? Did you even think before you spoke, because from what she told me, it sounds like you didn’t. How dumb are you, after everything she’s gone through, the first big fight you have you send her running? Over a dinner? Really Atsumu?”

Atsumu groaned on the other line, “Exactly ‘samu, it’s a dinner, I have practice for the game against the Adler’s you know how big that is. She’ll have plenty of dinners for me to go to in the future. I don’t see why she got so upset over it. And she knows I didn’t mean the things I said, I was just frustrated.”

Osamu scoffed into the phone, “Did you even hear what I said, are you hearing yourself? She is the best thing that has happened to you, the least you could do is support her, this is a big deal for her Atsumu, even I know that. Honestly I don’t know why she is still with you after the shit you just pulled, did you hear me? She was scared of you, y’know like that last relationship she had? Where she was sent to the hospital multiple times, she thought she was right back there, that you were just like him. Do you know how bad you have to fuck up for that to happen, after all the counseling she’s done? You know how much trust you just broke? I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to hear from you again, and I’d agree with her. God I have half a mind to tell Ma what you did, You need to sit and stew on what you just lost. And I mean it, I don’t want to see you here tonight, she needs a safe space right now. I’ll let her stay for as long as she wants, but I’m not gonna stop her if she leaves so you better get your fucking head on straight and get on your knees begging for forgiveness you don’t deserve.”

With that Osamu hung up the phone, exhaling as he pinched the bridge of his nose, was his brother really that stupid? He shook his head and headed out of his room, only to open the door to see you standing there, eyes holding an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “Is he coming?” Osamu sighed and led you back to the couch before finishing the tea he forgot about. He placed your cup on the end table next to you and took a seat with his own. “No, I told him to stay at your guy’s tonight. You need a safe space right now to calm down and sort your thoughts. You can stay here as long as you’d like, but I don’t want you to feel trapped, you can leave whenever, if you want to go to your folk’s, hell even our Ma’s place, I’ll drive you there. You just need to focus on you right now ya hear me? And if you don’t ever wanna see my ugly brother again, I’ll help you get a new identity.” You giggled slightly at the last part before you took a sip of your tea, shoulders relaxing. You turned to Osamu and smiled.

“Thank you ‘samu, I really appreciate it. I’m a little more calm right now, I think I’ll go home tomorrow, apologize and get us back on track.” You did a little nod as you said it, but Osamu just furrowed his eyebrows. “Apologize? There is nothing you need to apologize for doll, You were completely justified in your frustration, Atsumu is the one who needs to apologize, not you. Don’t settle just so things will go back to normal, because they won’t.” You sighed sadly, he was right and you knew it. You were falling back to old coping tactics. Your therapist would not be happy with you right now.

“Sorry, you’re right. I’m still gonna go back, hopefully after we’ve both had some sleep we can work it out.” You smiled again, feeling more like yourself. Osamu nodded in agreement and helped you set up in the guest bedroom before turning in. You sighed as you laid in the bed, not used to sleeping by yourself, but the events from the night took its toll, and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

Back in your apartment, Atsumu was having the opposite problem. He laid in your shared bed, staring at the ceiling, did you actually think he was going to hit you, that he meant the things he said? To him, it didn’t seem like a big deal, he was loud when he was angry, and sometimes said things he didn’t mean, which should be obvious, since you knew how much he loved you…right? He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, looking up the museum you worked at. Honestly he wasn’t really paying attention when you told him about the event, he knew it had something to do with your research, which he knew a little about from the nights you’d info dump your findings to him. His eyes widened when he looked at the upcoming events, when he clicked on the date it was scheduled for he winced.

It really was a big deal, curators from all over the country were coming to hear you give a presentation on your recent fieldwork findings, you’d been at this site for the majority, if not all, of your relationship only now having a big discovery others spent their entire lives chasing. There were going to be donors, curators, archaeologists and other anthropologists from all over Japan and other countries as well. You were right, this was a career changer, no, this was a life changing presentation.

Guilt started to seep into his bones as he thought again about what he had said, how he had brushed you off and then got mad at you for voicing your feelings, something that took months for you to be able to do with him. He thought back to when he slammed his hand on the table, the way you flinched, the look in your eyes right before you left. His stomach felt like it dropped out of his body, chest constricting as the guilt flooded him as he kept thinking back to every expression you made, how you were crying when you left, that you were scared of him. He pushed his palms against his eyes as he groaned, how could he be so horrible to you? Osamu was right, about everything. You were the best thing that’s happened to him, and he broke your trust, trust that took so long to build, over missing a practice. He rolled onto his side, pulling one of your pillows against his chest. He inhaled, the scent of your conditioner still lingering, as he tried to think of how he could possibly make it right.

```

The next morning, after a relaxing shower and breakfast, you were ready. Osamu grabbed his keys, ready to drive you back, when there was a knock at the door. You had a feeling on who it was, so you set down your purse and went to sit on the couch, taking a deep breath. After a few moments Osamu came to the doorway, followed by Atsumu, who stood awkwardly for a moment before Osamu spoke to you.

“I need to be at the restaurant, there’s a key on the counter, if you could lock up if you leave that’d be great. Call me if you need anything.” He turned and left, and when you heard the door close you finally met Atsumu’s gaze, smiling slightly in greeting. Neither of you were sure what to say, but after a minute of silence he comes over and sits on the other end of the couch, obviously trying to gauge your reaction to his proximity.

You sighed through your nose, gaze turned to the floor as you fiddled with your hands, trying to sort out your thoughts. You wanted to just apologize and move on, but you knew you had to talk it out, this wasn’t something you could just pretend didn’t happen. You needed to work through this if you wanted this to work. You bit your lip, thoughts running a mile a minute. You were so deep in thought you didn’t realize Atsumu had moved until you felt his hand rest on your forearm. You jumped slightly, startled at the sudden touch and when you looked at Atsumu, who had moved to the place next to you and hovered his hand over you before bringing it back to his lap, guilt evident in his features, eyes raw with emotion.

“(Y/N), I don’t even know where to begin, I fucked everything up and I am so sorry. Sorry for not listening, for brushing you and your achievements off, for making you feel lesser and unimportant, for scaring you, please, you have to know, I would never lay a hand on you, I never meant a single thing I said last night, I was frustrated and let the week get to me, which is no excuse for the way I treated you. I broke your trust, and I’ll spend forever and a month trying to earn it back. You are without a doubt the best thing that has happened to me, and the way I treated you after everything that’s happened, it- it makes me sick. I love you so much, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. But I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want, I-I just- I need you to know that I love you, and that I never meant it, I’d never mean it.” His voice cracked at the end,  and he wiped his eyes before looking up to meet your gaze. You were crying, biting your lip to keep it in but failing as you took a shuddering breath that turned into a half-sob. His heart broke even more seeing you like this, and he reached out to comfort you before stopping, hand curling back into his chest.

“Can, Can I touch you?” He asked shakily, scared of the answer, shoulders slumping with relief when you nodded and he quickly gathered you into his arms, pulling you into his lap and holding you tight, like if he let you go you’d disappear. You were crying louder now, hands fisted into his sweatshirt. He nuzzled his face into your hair, quietly apologizing over and over, tears starting to fall from his eyes as well, kissing the side of your head.

The two of you stayed like that for what seemed like hours, though in reality it was about 10 minutes. Your sobs had died down, you were just sniffing occasionally, and Atsumu’s eyes had cleared, no longer obstructed by the water wall of tears. He pulled you away from his chest slightly, cupping your cheeks, wiping at the tear tracks staining your face.

“’M sorry, ‘m so sorry. I’ll say it for the rest of my life darlin’, I love you so much and I am so proud of everything you do. I hope that one day you can forgive me, but I understand if you can’t, if you won’t. You mean th’ world t’ me angel, I want nothing more than for you to be happy, for you to feel safe and loved. I promise I will support you better from now on, no matter what. I’ll make good on my promises from all those years ago, I swear.” You nodded at his words, hands coming up to cup his own before one of his moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, stopping right before your lips met, breath mixing as he looked at you for signs of hesitance, of fear.

“Is this okay?” Instead of verbally confirming you closed the short distance, hands gripping his shoulders as your lips moved against his slowly, taking time to enjoy each other. He pulled away after a few moments before kissing your forehead, hugging you tightly once again. “Let’s go home.” You said quietly into his shirt, squeezing his shoulders before standing on shaky legs. He nodded, getting up after you, lacing your fingers together.

Weeks later~~

 You smiled nervously at Atsumu as you rose out of your chair, giving him a quick kiss before heading to the stage. You squinted briefly at the bright lights, exhaling and smoothing out your clothes before smiling at the audience as you introduced yourself. You tried to keep your gaze evenly over the crowd, but your eyes kept finding themselves locked with Atsumu, who grinned brightly and gave a thumbs up whenever you did. Your smile grew, nerves slowly dissipating as you lost yourself in your presentation.

Afterwards you answered a few questions from the crowd, thanking them again before heading back to your table. You shook hands with the host as they walked past to continue to the next topic and thanked your tablemates who congratulated you. You snorted at Tsukishima, who said it was a little boring, like he didn’t have a page of notes from the presentation in front of him.

You turned to your boyfriend, smiling as you laced your fingers together. “Wow babe that was amazing! I don’t know what half those words meant but you did great, I’m so proud of you.” You flushed at his praise, squeezing his hand while you kissed his cheek before turning back to the host, who was announcing the next speaker. You don’t know what would’ve happened if you didn’t work things out, and frankly you don’t want to think about it, the two of you are slowly building this back to where they were, but this time your relationship is stronger. You’re happier than you’ve ever been, and that’s what matters.

[whatgaviiformes]

The Personal Trash

Okay, I needed the catharsis of writing this out, but I am throwing it under a read more because I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this. Family shit below

I feel like before I start I have to say first I love my husband very much and am continually excited by the life we are and have been building together, and the only goddamn constant in these circumstances is that he is my best friend always. 

The second part of this before I jump in is that his mother, my mother-in-law lives with us, and there are parts of this story I can’t tell because it’s her story and I am not that kind of person.  One of the things I love about him is his loyalty to family. I am the same way. Living with elders does not make me bat an eyelid - they’ve taken care of us, it feels comforting that we can take care of them.

But I need to share the context of our home - it’s a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse with the three of us, three dogs, with almost every space shared. One kitchen, one living room. It’s a small place. My husband purchased the house in September 2014, and it was around when we started dating. One of our first outings was his housewarming. It was, and still is, a starter home. 

So since he’s had the home, I’ve been around - starting with a weekends, back and forth, and finally a moved in in 2017, married in 2019, and now we are here. Four years later. 

We’ve talked upsizing, getting an in law place if we can. But the housing market is a sellers market at the moment, and things have been good. For four years. 

For four years, the family unit has been the three of us. We’ve all contributed in different ways, and in that time, MIL has retired, husband has switched jobs a few times, and mine has been constant. And I *adore* my job. But it keeps me incredibly busy, overwhelmed often. Work-life balance is a bit of a joke for sure. Like anywhere there are days that I’ve gotten off work and cried. Or, checked out mentally that I couldn’t engage in other things. It’s can be intense, but its rewarding. And there was a period through the past few years where I was the source of income keeping our heads above water. And we were - we were fine.  But it put a lot of stress on me.

In the meantime there have been some health issues - which I will gloss over. Not my story. But MIL has had few different things, on top of us worrying about COVID. We’ve taken her to some different appointments and such.  

We had one such scare two weekends ago, and it kind was a catalyst to a bunch of other stuff that I’ve been dealing with behind the scenes lately. So on Sunday, husband and I went to the grocery store (she was supposed to go on a trip for four days or so) so we were going to use the opportunity to cook a few things together, and we needed to replenish. We were about to grab lunch, and called to see if she wanted anything, and she told him then she wanted to be taken to the hospital. She told us a few days earlier she was having some problems, but only mentioned to my husband that she was worried this might happen. But to me this forewarning was not mentioned, and I was only told because he advised her that she needed to be upfront of what was going on. (For the record, she still was vague). 

This ^ will be a theme.

So we skipped lunch, came back home, I unloaded the food and started putting stuff away because he and I agreed that’s what we do and I told him to keep me updated, and she left without saying anything to me or vice versa.  Husband comes home because COVID means you can’t stay with anyone. Also no beds, so it took awhile (F*CKING GET VACCINATED PEOPLE SO PEOPLE WHO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT AREN’T LAID UP FOR YOUR STUPIDITY  -alsoyesiknowthereareotherreasonspeopleareinthehospitalforcovidjustgivemethisimfrustrated)

11:30 PM that night we picked her back up. It was late, I was tired.  A few days later she tells us that she had a lot of time to think while at the hospital, and tells us she is going to move out. 

First - you know what we did while she was in the hospital? We freaking worried.  Okay - so all of that is facts, details, and I’ve gotten you caught up to the this-happened-then-this-happened. The rest of this is feelings so buckle the fuck up

Husband  - immediately lashes out because he doesn’t like the reasons (still doesn’t) and I find out that there was a conversation the day before between the two of them I wasn’t a part of  - and he felt because she was not being honest with me, he was forced to have to lie to me, his wife, and didn’t like that feeling. 

Me -  feeling confused, a little like this is out of left field, and only not completely surprised because this has happened before with husband telling me, and then it never happening, we misunderstanding. and more times than not it never made it from her mouth to my ears. Also it was never for *this* reason. See how this escalates more  below.

Husband- “I had to learn to live with strangers, and you just can’t stand not being in control” Me -  so wait I am a stranger now?

Husband - do you even like my wife...

and so on. So apparently everything I thought I knew about our home changed in the course of this conversation. What I was able to get out of the cacophony of chaos is that I am insensitive because I don’t interact with her the way she expects me to? And she feels like she’s intruding all the time, despite us assuring her she’s not, inviting her to game nights, and in general sharing in the things that you do as a family like vacations and dinners.  And the more we argued, the more little things came out and little clues.  She’s mentioned leaving before, almost on a 6 month cycle, and the last time was this one -  

So like... when we got Della, and three days in she was like “If they don’t get along I’m going to take Dino and my own place” and so   like... hold up, you can’t just throw away a comment like that. They’ve barely gotten a chance to know each other. (they are fine by the way. Della is a puppy and gets in his face a bit, but she’s still learning. They play, sleep together fine, and we are constantly taking care of the fur kids).

And from what I get from the comments to leave  - because shit there’s still so many pieces to this I feel like I am missing -she will rationalize other reasons like the dog example above.

So when this happens it sends my husband in a spiral, he tells me because she won’t say anything, and the one time we did try to have a conversation about it, she shut down and made it sounds like he misunderstood and made him out to be the asshole. Then in the same breath tell him its not his job to fix everything as a stab at me, but like continue to talk only to him when it involves everyone.

I don’t know if that makes sense. A lot happens without me involved.

So then  - those clues - the hints that all of this is really about me: 

health - i stopped asking because she stopped telling me things, so how am I supposed to know what she can and can’t do. but im at fault for like... not asking.  but she’s not telling.

home - apparently my understanding and my husbands understanding about the stuff she does around the house  - some cleaning, groceries (we pay for) and loading dishwasher, cooking sometimes,. We thought she liked doing them to help around the house, and she’s never told us differently. EDIT- no, she’s told us she likes to help. Cue - you can stop right there, I am an adult and I never asked you to clean up after me.  

I feel like whatever feelings she has for me started a long time ago, and  she continued to let them harbor instead of talking to me about it, until it got to the point where it couldn’t really be solved.

I mean, I am not lacking the self-awareness to recognize that, yeah, I can be messy, and yeah, I can be single minded. There are days where my husband is talking me and I just space answering him because I can’t or or I just mentally lose it in processing.

I am seeing this mirror reflected back at me of like - I have all these expectations for you, and you are a problem and, but like.... it kind of goes both ways? And I feel like you’ve made these circumstances yourself? And if  you want to leave that’s fine, but its not from our doing? 

And so in the end *I* feel like I am the one under scrutiny for everything I do or say and how I interact in my home. And it feels like selfishness, and self-victimizing behavior that I’ve seen time and time again, and I don’t really see a way out. 

So husband just wants to keep the family together, he’s taking this to heart - its his mom, and there are feelings there about how they’ve provided for each other. He would feel differently if they got the house and she moved in with him under the notion that she was going to save, get her own place. But it wasn’t, and so he has this weight on his shoulders for it, for failing in some way.

And I  - well. I didn’t really realize the family unit we had wasn’t working... at least to that extent and that it stemmed from me and I’m really hurt by it. Aside from the stuff above, I am really easy going - I try to give everyone space, and make everyone happy. I shut down if I am processing something. I’ve never intentionally tried to make her feel unwelcome. I’ve invited her to my family vacations, we’ve all equally enjoyed dinner’s out. 

And though I’d be willing to try to do better, i am absolutely livid that this conversation waited until it was at its worst. So now I don’t really want to try to do better because I am mad and hurt, and don’t feel like my sacrifices or contributions are being acknowledged, nor do I think she will do the same thing to be self-reflective and recognize her own part of all this. And above all things, I truly hate to be misunderstood. And I will completely shut down under that kind of self-victimizing behavior and thoughtlessness to other people. I don’t want to lose myself over this, in my own home.

So neither path is really an easy or right solution. She moves out, husband loses a bit of respect in her and the relationship they have.. She stays, recognizing your own part in lack of communication is a long term thing, and I have to feel this awkward limbo for that whole process.. if it  even gets there.

I feel like I am walking on eggshells constantly. 

I should never have to question if a “Hello” will be taken the right way and that’s how i fucking feel. 

[pbandjesse]

Well the market got canceled today. So we had a lot of time together to fill and that was really nice. Though it was annoying that we didn't know it was canceled until we got there.

But it was fine. I slept well and woke up in a good mood. It was cold in here but nice outside. Unseasonably warm. But also windy. Which is why the market got canceled. They felt lit was unsafe, which was fair. But I wish they had made the call before the set up time. Ah well.

The girl down there who was in charge felt really bad because it wasn't her decision. But it was for the best.

So me and James loaded up the car again and headed out. James asked what I wanted and I asked if we could get panera. We also wanted to get more wrapping paper. We headed to target and got some christmas stuff. Wrapping paper and snack gifts. And James got a chirstmasy nail polish. And then we went to have lunch.

I got a bread bowl and it was really good. James got a flat bread pizza. And it was a nice time just hanging out and eating warm food. Love soup.

We went home and talked to Mr Will and Ms Tina. They are trying to get the heat fixed before Christmas which is very appreciated. Will put up some plastic over the hole in the ceiling. And me and James got to work cleaning up the apartment and doing some more Christmas stuff. We got a cute little tree skirt so I took the tinsel off of the bottom and wrapped that around the tree and some of the mantel. And then we worked on sorting out a box I want to use to store some stuff after the holidays.

James would start setting up a little train on our table. And then Meghan texted me we could get the ladder we leant her the other weekend. So we would walk over there to get that. Her new place is so cute! And she is only like 2 minutes away so that's nice. Having a friend in the neighborhood.

We came back here and I watched James build. Eventually they would go work on their podcast and I played animal crossing for a bit. But I started getting really cold and tired so I went and laid in bed and watched videos until the sun went down.

Around 6 we got ready to go out for dinner with Gabe and his girlfriend Hannah. We went to R House. They are vegan so they had fancy salads. James got a chicken sandwich. And I got a sushi burrito. Which was stupid expensive honestly. But I will get another 2 meals out of it so Im not that worried really.

It was fun hanging out but it is always very loud in there so it was slightly hard to have a conversation. But it was still fun.

It started to rain so we all headed out to get home safe. It was nice to see them. But I was happy to go home.

It started storming pretty hard. But we got home and were safe here. I got washed up and James played a game with friends. I picked out some Christmas week outfits. I am very pleased with them. I want to actually pack but I am going to wait until next week. I might wear some of these looks for the Christmas parties this week so we will see.

I am in bed with James now. We are supposed to have the market tomorrow again, so lets hope it goes on and goes well. I hope you all have a great night. Take care of eachother!! Goodnight!