#but i always felt like it just made sense ever since the existence of diamonds was hinted at

[drakonovisny]

i love it when my theories end up being correct

[symphonyofthewrite]

If These Walls Could Talk 

Freaking GORGEOUS cover art by Junki Sakuraba on Instagram and Deviantart!! Definitely go check him out!! His art is incredible, and from what I can tell he’s really nice dude. He absolutely went above and beyond with this prompt. 10/10 would commission again. (And probably will once I save up enough money XD)

The wonderful art later in the chaper is by niuan_ on instagram!!

It wasn’t made/commissioned for this fic--(though I’ve since commissioned her to make cover art for me, so stay tuned for those!)--but when I saw it I couldn’t believe it!! That’s one of my favorite images in this chapter, and I couldn’t believe another artist made a piece for the same idea independently!!

I'll put the links to their profiles either in the replies or a reblog (since tumblr is dumb about links)!!

Also, FYI, I'll be using this post as my "reblog post" meaning I'll reblog this post with the later chapters of this fic, so they're all in one place. So if you want to read more of this fic, check the reblogs on this post, chances are more chapters will be there!!

Comments and reblogs are MORE than appreciated!! If you have a spare minute you will really make my week, and motivate me to keep writing!!

Fandom: Castlevania Netflix

Summary: Vampires do not have reflections, and castles do not have hearts. But Dracula is no ordinary vampire, and Castlevania is no ordinary castle. If castles can fight, maybe they can think too.

The series, and Adrian’s childhood, told from the perspective of the castle.

Chapter Summary:

“My mother’s name was Lisa, and she was mortal…She actually showed up at his front door. She found the castle and banged the door with the pommel of her knife…She was remarkable. She beat on the door until my father let her in, and then demanded he teach her how to be a doctor.”

Chapter 1: "Lisa”

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

The castle doesn’t like children.

Well, maybe that’s too strong to say. It simply isn’t the place for them. Its existence is a signpost: leave me alone. It is not used to having company—much less a family—inside it, nor is it ready to welcome for a crying, puking, giggling thing into the world. It does not intend to be a cozy place to coddle him into adulthood.

The castle itself pierces the sky, its turrets and towers the dripping stain of the sun’s blood across the moon.

The bare walls hold no colorful tapestries for a child to enjoy, no paintings of its many inhabitants to tell of—for there was only ever one (and maybe that ought not change. It is safe to say the castle doesn’t like change). The royal red and gold carpets are more suited to kings; not designed for spit-up, mud, and scuffing. ‘Don’t play with that’ would be a motto around here; so many contraptions either easy to break, or which could break the child. The fireplaces, while almost always lit, only ever coughed warmth onto the floor before them—they provided no snug space to curl up on a winter’s day. Even the mirrors here are empty, holding nothing but a reflection of the bare walls they sit upon.

There are certain people who were seemingly born as they are; they never owned toys, never crawled on the floor, never walked with clumsy steps—their footfalls were always this calculated count—never burped on their mother’s nice shirts, and surely never had anything so dull as a childhood. They were always just…here, on the world. There was no innocence, and no losing it. So it was with Dracula.

The very thought of Dracula ever owning toys, even in some nice cottage far away from here, with a doting mother and an absent father, with a funny last name like Cronqvist, defied sense to the castle. So no, no toys here, nor any simple charts for learning; the books divulged their secrets to more mature minds. Just blood and books, gold and gears, forgotten magic means, mirrors that reflect nothing, and a pile of prayers to a good God they used to justify their ungood, and ungodly deeds.

All these things—or their absence—do not make for the picture of a baby-proof home.

The castle has grown accustomed to being cold and dark, and listening to one master alone. It’s not a quaint place lovers look on and think we’ll raise our kids here someday.

Its master isn’t the ideal father either—after all, the castle only reflected its king. Its master knows only of blood and nails, fangs and wails, words too big for a child’s mouth, and worlds too dark for a child’s heart.

Can he be soft? Can he be gentle? Can he keep those claws, which have ripped out better men’s hearts, from piercing a child’s—his child’s…how could one who killed so many have a child?—skin? He knows many spells, but is there one that can turn those screams into laughter?

He has been soft before. Once. And that is with this woman.

Many women have walked the castle’s halls: shivering, shrieking damsels at his feet; cold and calculating queens; fragile bodies on the floor, that he broke with the same regard a child does a vase that matters to someone else.

Those ordinary people who do come often have pitchforks in their mouths, and fiery words in their closed fists. Curses stacked on the end of stakes, banging like the castle is the church bell signifying their own funerals.

It is for this reason that the castle does not like outsiders, does not open its doors easily. But it cannot deny anyone entry. Unlike the humans’ doors, which find his master guilty until proven innocent.

They always came at night. At night, when the loudest sound is your own breathing. At night, when their fires echoed loudest, and their shouts burned brightest.

They came when the flowers were closed, when only the most eerie and vicious of animals played with the skins of their prey, and the moon waxed the world in cold, drunk shine. The sun could not watch them, could not show their blood-struck hands in their full glory.

She came at sunset. When the sun still glazed her deeds in sanguine auburn, but was just deciding to turn its gaze and let the kids have their fun. Not quite day, when the sun would kill things like Dracula, but not quite night, when the hours are named after witches, and lust is strongest—be it for the body, or the blood within it. Somewhere in between death and life, violence and peace.

This woman came with a knife in her hand, yes. But a knife, at least, was not a sword. It was not a pitchfork, a spear, a whip, or a stake; all weapons that signify, if the fight wasn’t there, you were bringing it with you. Not a war-starved weapon, pointing with mal-in—and -con—tent towards the castle doors and all the things inside it. Not a thirsty thing. Something that by default faced the other direction. Something that can start a fight if it wants to, but doesn’t crave it.

The golden woman came at sunset, with a knife in her hand, and looked upon this thing, this castle that others called ‘ugly’, and ‘monstrous,’ and ‘grotesque,’ looked upon it with awe, and gasped in wonder.

She knocked. She didn’t bang her fists upon the stone, didn’t ram pitchforks and assorted insults against the innocent doors, like how-dare-they protect their master.

She knocked, and the doors opened before she could raise her fist a second time. Maybe, just this once, not because they didn’t have any other choice.

The doors—foreboding, menacing, and all the other spooky -ings one can think of—opened to a world strewn in light; the demon’s castle looked brighter, more beautiful, more alive, than half the churches she’d been to.

Her footsteps were gentle against the castle’s floors. Not a slow, forced gentleness, but also not a piercing, purposeful march. There was no apprehension to her footsteps; her feet carried her as if anxious to take her to as many rooms as they could.

At first her steps were the only sound, enough to fool some into thinking they’re alone.

And it became clear both that she was not alone, and not a fool.

But when she saw the demon, she put the knife away, and used her words.

She used her words to repeat those she herself had heard: stories. But not the kind that make monstrous men run at the doors with naughts and crosses, the kind pious people buried along with all evidence that the world wasn’t made of black and white.

Not all the stories told that this place was cold and dark and full of death.

Amongst all the stories about death, there were others that said Vlad Tepes brought this castle to life with science, forbidden knowledge, and a little bit of lightning. Stories that say there is life here.

And, in exchange for proof that these life-stories true, Dracula asked for a trade, a trade that would prove the other stories true too. He gave up the killing a while ago—(the castle has been in one place a very long time)—but he was still not used to giving for free, and definitely not used to getting for free. Vampires trade in blood and names, not diamonds and declarations. Vampires trade in things they can swallow. This castle, too, had been a gaping hole set to swallow the world and everything that entered. Never once had it given.

And she dared to say, that this place, its master, should learn to give, when the humans have done nothing but take from them—or try their best to. He ought to be the one to invite her in, to ask what she would like, to dispense pleasant words and kind actions, when the humans forgot they invented hospitality, and showed no invitation for him to even enter their homes.

But she didn’t come with a mouth full of garlic, and hands full of superstition. Her feet did not drill holes in the floor with their sharp toll, they wandered the scenic route.

She was used to being cheated. Dracula and his castle were too. But that was not why she was there. She was not there for cheap tricks, or death. She wanted something real. A little bit of the life the castle has to offer.

Her defiance wasn’t that of a terrified citizen, or angry queen, either; rather the calm resolve of someone who is asking for something they know in their heart is good, and knows they will get it. The kind of person who believes there is good in everyone, and that this good will ultimately always win, and who won’t leave until they convince this good to show its face.

The castle has watched countless men and women cower at the foot of count Dracula. Some, do have a measure of god-sanctioned defiance; they come with whips and scourges to defeat him. The castle and the king are bound together in their resolve against them.

Except one. Except this woman. One human whom both master and castle found themselves reluctant to deny, cast away, or kill, maybe even…taken with.

She may be human, but she was not like the rest; she did not light the night on fire with her thirst for blood.

So maybe, just maybe, they could let one ray of sunlight slip through the cracks.

She was also not devoid of life, and maybe that was the key.

‘Devoid of life’ was an accurate portrayal of the castle. Bats flying out of blackness is a good description of a cave, and caves don’t usually come with the brochure ‘teeming with life’, or ‘great place to take your kids!’. The castle had a soul-sucking quality to it; those who entered often found themselves leaving less alive than they arrived. It took after its vampire master. Those who didn’t actually lose their lives within its walls, often remarked upon leaving that the flowers bloomed brighter, the birds sang louder, the grass was greener, and that they missed the sunlight.

Sunlight. Such a base thing; vampires don’t need the light or warmth to be happy.

Sunlight. Such a base way to die; wanting to get out of the cold and the dark.

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

Castlevania was alive once. Once Dracula set the pumps, and its heart began to beat. He turned the gears, and its lungs inhaled. He forged the lightning, and it began to think. Once the books, full of unknown knowledge, jumped off the shelves to get the vampire king’s attention. He filled the bottles and beakers, and they bubbled, as if laughing at a joke only they shared.

They were both alive, once.

That waned, with time. The gears got arthritis, the books caught pneumonia, the experiments atrophied. The castle ached before she came.

And Dracula, alone in the halls, picking up books and putting them down again without so much as a polite glance through them, because he read them all before. Dracula looking into fractured mirrors that could take him anywhere, but deciding there wasn’t anywhere he wanted to go. Dracula, looking into old mirrors that don’t reflect him—like there was never anything to reflect, nothing alive here to begin with, and there isn’t a master for this castle after all. Nothing but a grave. Dracula sitting alone in his study, staring into the fire. No one to talk to. No sound but flipping pages and crackling fires—nothing alive. Alive but dead. This castle. Its master. Undead is the proper term.

The other women who came through here reflected the castle, or else the castle took the life out of them the moment they entered. Queens with malice-stained past, and cracked, icy future in their eyes. Just as cold as the walls. Subjects, humans throwing gruesome insults, silky flattery, or fluttering pleas at his feet. Just as empty as the mirrors.

Only one refused the castle’s bite. Only one walked in looking for life, rather than death. Looking for a thing no one thought existed here. Already presumed dead. Put six feet beneath the ground. But maybe it was here all along; maybe the light hid in the castle’s corners while the dark came out to play, and she just had to coax it out of its hiding places. Maybe the bell was ringing all this time, she was the only one who came close enough to hear it; the only one who came to put flowers on the grave.

Maybe when she felt the machinery pumping she knew the rhythm was a heartbeat. Maybe when she heard the gears clanking she knew it was the sound of inhaling and exhaling. Maybe when she saw the lightning, she wondered what it was thinking. Maybe she looked at these books, these instruments, and saw what the vampire king saw once; something alive. They weren’t dead yet—un- or otherwise. Just sick, and in need of proper treatment. She was a doctor after all. Maybe her first subject was the very books she learned from.

Lisa, who looked at this blotch on the sky, with Death in its towers, and darkness splattered on its walls, and thought that’s where I’ll learn to heal people. Lisa, who gaped in amazement at the beast of a building. Lisa, who didn’t shudder upon entering. Lisa, who didn’t scream when its master touched her, but turned to him with calm resolve, and told him she’d teach him to be more human. Lisa, who’s life eclipsed the undeath in this place.

And there was a trade that occurred that day. For Dracula’s immortal knowledge, Lisa would teach him how to live a mortal life. To travel the world as a man, to walks as a man, to eat and drink, laugh and cry, as a man. Immortality for mortality. They gave each other the world, as so many lovers promise to do. Vlad would make her immortal, and Lisa would make him mortal, with no exchange blood.

(Except to create a thing with both their blood running through it.)

So maybe, after all this talk of life, it is fitting that she wants to create life inside this castle.

Fitting, maybe. Fitting for her. But the castle is not mortal yet, and wishes it could protest that it isn’t the right size, refuse to try on the idea.

Dracula is apprehensive as well, for the castle and he are used to each other, they take after each other, because the cold, and the dark, and the death, and the alone does something to you after a while; you start talking to the walls. After the cold queens and quaking colleens leave, or leave their bloodstains the floor. After the beasts and their silver-stained bullets turn back into righteous men in the sun. After he simply outlives everyone else. When all the living things hate, fear, or else betray you, when all the living things can die, and you, who are undead, cannot, it’s the lifeless things that stand firm by your side. When the day ends and the shadows come out to play, when you’re the only one left, in the end you still have the walls. And then…the walls are all you have. And if you talk to them long enough you make a sort of pact, spoken or silent, with those speechless stones: ‘you’re the only one I can trust.’

Dracula speaks to them one day, says he wonders if he can do this, be a father at all, not to mention a good one. The castle cannot reply. But something deep inside the walls wonders if it might be nice to hear Dracula laugh. It might be nice to put on some different clothes. It might be nice for someone new to listen to from time to time. It might be nice to live again.

The castle is concerned. Used to doing things one way, being one way, and only hearing one voice. But that doesn’t mean it is unwilling, that it intends to kill the child.

It never kills anything—Dracula does that. It cannot do anything on its own, and that includes change.

The castle doesn’t like change.

…But that doesn’t mean it won’t.

And if its going to change, its master must change first. They must change together.

Vampires do not have reflections. But Dracula has a castle, and that castle will be damned if it isn’t his mirror.

Reflections are simple to change; put on some makeup, some war paint, a new change of clothes, get a piercing somewhere. Simple, yes, but not easy, to change completely, because that doesn’t mean anything’s changed inside.

The castle did not come equipped for child-rearing; there are no rooms full of toys and cradles and school supplies.

So if this is to be, they must build their son’s world themselves.

Together they set aside a room for the child’s arrival. Just one, single room. And the castle too knows, from the start, this room will be different from all the rest. They will put paintings on the walls, and banners in the halls; things to interest him, to tell him of his parents, at least, even if there are few other relatives to spend Christmas with. The carpets will be darker, instead of the stringent red, and they will make their words smaller, the books easier to understand. The rest of the castle is warm in color, but cool in atmosphere. This room will be cool in color, but warm in atmosphere. The fire will always be set in its place, and they will try their best to make sure the warmth reaches him; if the fire fails, they will knit blankets; if the blankets fail they will make him tea, or warm milk with honey; and when everything else fails they will hold him. If there are tears here, scornful stares will not greet them, instead, kisses and lullabies will be behind door number three. If this room lives, it will be because of something much softer than pounding metal and lighting.

If a child is to live here, they must change that reflection. Everything Dracula’s castle appears to be, this room will be the reverse. Separate. Something… other than the castle.

This room will bottle all the laughter had in this castle. This room will be made of and for living, not the death the rest of the place is steeped in. So much so that this room will not stand for bloodshed.

Lisa brings in supplies from her town; color and cloth, boards and brushes, needle, and thread, and paper; all the things one needs to build a universe.

It is Dracula who takes the paint, who changes the color to something other than the blacks and reds of the rest of the Vampire’s world, cementing on the walls themselves You will not be dark here, my castle. You will be kind to him, Castlevania. The castle doesn’t know its master to work with his hands like a human, but Vlad is not the same within this room either—this room is part of the trade. He doesn’t use magic, or science, as if he is telling himself with every hammer that they are going to change together, the way one does when talking to the mirror.

Lisa sits in a chair and stiches together cloth and fur to make little creatures, toys for the boy to play with. Soft things, not sharp. They are reflections too, littler, simpler ones, of the creatures howling and prowling outside the castle’s walls, or scurrying within them.

But it is the ceiling that is the crowning jewel of the room. Something they paint together—splashing it onto each other’s clothes and noses.

His parents love the stars. They often walk outside the castle walls, fingers knit into each other’s, to gaze at them. They are scholars at soul, and have charted the constellations. They want their child to be able to do the same, to watch the stars, even if he’s not outside. At the end of every day they want him to be sung to sleep by the symphony of the night.

For them, maybe, but to the castle, one of the most interesting things about this room, is the mirror. This is strange, as, while there are other mirrors in this house, they are nothing more than a silver decoration; they have no purpose here, unless they float in shards and possibility. This is an ordinary mirror. It does hold something now, however, and that’s Lisa—only giving more credence to the idea that she is the only living thing in this castle. The castle wonders if they think it will reflect the child, as if they are hoping he will take after his mother and the room.

The mirror, and the windows. In the rest of the castle, the windows are always closed, curtained, or too small to let any real light in. But here they are big, and inviting to all the wiles of the day. Dracula protested—fearing he would burn. Lisa insisted—hoping he would shine.

The mirror, the room, are empty now. The windows closed. The books and charts dormant as the rest. It is not dead, but it’s not alive either. Not even undead. Just a question. An almost.

The room lays on Frankenstein’s table; just one lightning strike—(or one child’s laugh)—away from breathing.

[missyasf]

Game Of Hearts

| 2 |

↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 7k

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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together! 

“So...you beat a 6 of diamonds by yourself on your first try?” 

..what the fuck was your sister doing. No really. What did she think she was doing? She had this...look on her face ever since she had been formally introduced to Chishiya and you didn’t like it one bit. Akari had exchanged glances with you several times as you wanted to wilt in embarrassment while your sister continued to parade with this act.

“It was a game of Blackjack, I wasn’t familiar with the rules but after one round it was easy to pick up.” If anything this was a good stroke on his ego which he had to know was getting on your nerves. 

It was painfully obvious your sister was trying to make an effort to show some sort of attraction to him to get his attention? You weren’t sure, truthfully all you knew was that if you knew it had to be clear to Chishiya as well who as always kept that same stoic expression on his face, not the slightest interest besides potentially making you mad, “Losers were hung and cheaters were shot.” 

You scrunched your face as you watched his eyes flicker to yours briefly, a glimpse of a cheshire smirk on his lips that vanished instantly making your eyes hone into a childish glare. He knew you didn’t like this! He knew it! You just knew that he did! 

“Hey, not to come off strong or anythin’ but…” Akari scrunched her nose, “Is your sister a virgin or something? She seems like she really wants to hop on that guys dick.” 

You didn’t mean to flail at her words but they were just so jarring to hear. Virgin? Dick? Chishiya? No way in hell should those three words ever be in the same sentence. This drew his attention briefly despite not hearing what Akari had said- thank god.

“I don’t fucking know…!” You whispered harshly to her, “And it’s none of my business but…” you rubbed your neck as you sighed, “She probably is.” You relented making Akari howl laughing as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “She’s always had this thing with being insecure and feeling like she’s never enough for guys…personally I always felt the opposite.”

“You’re extremely attractive and no man is worthy of you?” Akari tilted her head as she shrugged, “I can see it.”

“No!” You replied a little flustered, tugging on a strand of hair, “I mean I feel like if she was just confident in herself she’d get laid as much as she wants…” you had decided to not continue your original words with what you had intended. Which was, Nanami always compared herself to you. Nothing made you feel worse than knowing she constantly beat herself up because of you. 

Many considered it pretty privilege. It existed, sure.

Did you experience this? More than your fair share, more than you ever wanted truthfully. To the point of feeling dehumanized in a way. Particularly in your line of work as a prostitute before all this happened. Or maybe it was before then? You can’t remember anymore. 

Regardless, you often found that while people were much nicer to you. They are always extremely insincere. Particularly men. Watching Nanami get a little closer to Chishiya made you immediately stand up as you gave her a menacing smile, “Nanami, can I talk to you for a second, alone?” 

….

“What’s the problem with it!” Nanami had that sour pout she always sported when you call her out on something that wasn’t typically considered- but she also knew- wasn’t a good idea either, “Sure he’s not a prince charming but…” She tugged on a strand of hair as she let a tiny girlish smile tug on her lips, “He’s still pretty cute, and besides we almost just died tonight! I feel like I earned it.”

Shifting away from her, you facepalmed as you sighed, you understood. You did, you all almost died and now what better way to celebrate then getting finally losing your virginity in celebration. No you couldn’t relate to that in particular but you understood. Still...couldn’t she have picked someone a little more… “I just...don’t think it’s a good idea talking to him. That’s all…! I mean seriously, look at him. He’d probably stab us in our sleep if it meant he got an extra charge on his phone.”

“What? So you’re saying I can’t talk to him?” Nanami crossed her arms as she glared at you ungratefully, as you wistfully sighed, looking out to where the other two sat, they were a good distance away where they both sat talking at the fire Akari had built.

You glanced away from her as you puffed a breath, not sure why she was getting such a sour attitude, did she seriously like this guy that much already? Because that wouldn’t do, at all, “Look I’m not saying you can’t talk to him I’m just saying...stop...whatever you’re trying to do! Chishiya is...Nami…!” You cried out in frustration as you grabbed your head, “A guy like that is only going to gaslight the fuck out of you! Take it from me, no amount of skill in bed is good enough for that! He’s trouble Nanami.” 

“Then why did you ask him to come with us?” Nanami accused you as she glared at you even more sour than before as you groaned. To be fair he did decline at first. Initially you had asked Chishiya about the beach just as a start to figure out what the guy Ryu was talking about but all of sudden Chishiya said he changed his mind and he wanted to stay with you all. Probably out of curiosity of what the Beach was. You couldn’t blame him. 

“He wanted to come with us regardless of me because of looking for the Beach!” You retaliated, why was she getting so defensive!? You just had her best interest at heart here! Whatever if she really wanted to sleep with him that much it wasn’t your business but you didn’t want to deal with her crying when he busted one and conveniently found a reason to leave again. You paused your thought as you glanced at Chishiya who was looking up at the sky.

Would he really do something like that though? Brief hesitation passed through you, you didn’t know. You didn’t know anything with him. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know. And it put you on edge. Severely. What was his intention here? A part of you doubted he’d even sleep with Nanami, just because of who he was. 

Regardless of what happened, you still weren’t sure about him. Just because you had been partnered with Chishiya, you had the distinct feeling, it would be wise to not trust him completely. Not yet at least.

Nanami groaned as she stomped her foot, “Why are you always like this Y/n! Can't you just let me do what I want? I am an adult now.”

Yes that’s right, she was an ‘adult’ now, making very adult decisions. Sighing you rubbed your forehead, deciding to just give up for now, “Yeah you are, clearly. Do whatever you want.” You didn’t have the energy after tonight to try and do this right now. And maybe Chishiya would leave on his own, he seemed pretty intended on that before you had brought up your search. 

Puffing a breath you watched as Nanami stomped away as she crossed her arms and headed back for the camp. You couldn’t believe her right now…! Out of all the guys she had to choose she wanted to choose the most lifeless guy possible…?

You knew why she was doing this, well you couldn’t know for sure but you had the sneaking suspicion it was because when you both were younger it was because guys always tended to linger around because of you. Perhaps that’s where that sense of insecurity came from…? 

Truthfully you never wanted a rivalry between you and your sister, in some ways you considered yourself her caretaker, when no one else was there for her you made sure you were. Every, single, time. You wished she’d just be a little more transparent when it came to things like this and you could work things out without so much emotional stress. Especially now that your life hangs in the balance between life and death constantly. 

Wrapping your jacket around yourself you let out a soft sigh shaking your head before turning to face the car parking building, it spiraled upwards and suddenly an idea struck you. Rather than going back to the camp you entered it, pushing into the small room of staircases where you walked up. 

Your legs ached by the time you pushed the door open to the top floor that overlooked the night sky. A smile slowly crept on your face as you inhaled the cool night air, you used to love doing this back when you were still in school. Climbing up here all by yourself to listen to some music and overlook the city lights. 

Grabbing onto the ledge that overlooked the city you frowned again looking over the wash of black, all the venues must’ve been finished tonight, where some had a game clear or game over would never be known to you. But still, just the notion made you feel nauseous, who could ever do something like this? You tried tracing your memory back but you drew a blank.

Hoping up you sat down on the ledge letting your legs swing out over the blank unknown, looking down you came to the conclusion that if you leaned just a little too far, you’d probably die from falling. Who would’ve thought that would be a kind death compared to other people here. 

Hearing a loud blast you jumped as you looked up at the sky only in horror to watch red lasers shoot from the sky all in synchronicity. Your stomach churned once more at the sight that was straight out of a horror film and within a brief second, suddenly it was gone. 

“It happened last night too.” 

You jolted once more at the cool toned voice as you grabbed your chest, “Jesus do you want me to just slip to my death!?” You chastised as you turned to Chishiya, when did he even get here? Heaving a breath you grabbed back onto the ledge as you leaned back on your hands, “...I guess we know what happens to those who don’t participate in games…” 

How horrid, really...how could this even be reality at all? Was this really some kind of simulation or...experiment? A cruel one? Your mind drifted to the Beach again where Ryu must’ve hoped you’d go with them...His girlfriend though...you weren’t sure you trusted her either to be honest. 

“...Where do you think we’ll find the Beach?” You turned to Chishiya, his hoodie covering his head as he leaned onto the railing overlooking the city that was engulfed in darkness, his eyes however cast out to the sky where those constellations from before only became more vivid. 

He snorted, “Over a body of water, clearly as the name suggests. An actual beach would be too literal otherwise a full name would’ve accompanied it. Perhaps a ship or a hotel? I’ll need a map tomorrow and we can narrow it from there.” 

Tucking your tongue into your cheek you heaved a breath, “I’ve known you less than a day but...I get the feeling I’d hate to be your rival.” It was the truth, Chishiya if anything, was not someone who was considered all bark and no bite. Something about those eyes looked so cold and ruthless. As if he genuinely held no concern or resolve for anyone but himself. You frowned as you watched him carefully, what a sad life to live if that was the case. 

You watched something akin to a smirk twist on his lips, as if he was proud to hear those words despite it insinuating some amount of fear in you. Which you’d say was partially true, not that you truly feared him but...If he was an enemy? You were simply glad he wasn’t. Especially if he was as ruthless as he appeared.

“So you don’t want me to talk to your sister?” 

Your eyes immediately shot open from their lazed state as you twisted to face where Chishiya leaned on the railing, something so annoying about those smug eyes of his as if he was just talking about the weather. Tucking your tongue into your cheek an annoyed smile appeared on your lips, “Oh, so that’s why you’re here? What did she tell you.” 

Chishiya didn’t say anything only looking at you with that cocky smirk and dark eyes as slowly your expression faded as you realized she didn’t tell him anything he just took a guess as to what happened between you both and you just confirmed, “You are very annoying you know that?” Your voice lowered a little as you leaned a little closer to him, your expression dry at the realization you fell right into his trap. 

He shrugged, but you could tell in his demeanor even when you weren’t meaning too you were still feeding that massive ego of his, “Now that you confirmed it, what’s the problem?” You weren’t scared of him in terms of confrontation. Even if you felt the internal voice in the back of your head tell you that you should be. 

“It’s nothing personal against you,” You shrugged, deciding that regardless, it would be best if you were careful with your interactions with him, “Nanami is just…” You pressed your lips together, looking out over the night sky as you spoke, “This world doesn’t deserve someone like her, and someone like you?��� A lopsided smile twisted on your lips as you laughed a little, “Be honest with yourself, I shouldn’t have to even explain that.” 

“Someone like me?” Chishiya challenged much to your surprise as you looked at him, it was your turn to be amused as he waited for an answer that you didn’t want to give. Why would you? And personally, it was as you said, it was nothing against him. 

You had no problems with him, “What about someone like you?” His expression turned smug and cold as he spoke, “I get the feeling you just infantilize your sister to the point she feels suffocated, if she chooses to do something stupid it’s only to get away from you. So what does someone like me have to do with this?” His expression became all the more sinister at your face darkening, “It shouldn’t be me you should be worrying about.” He shrugged, that calico smug smile of his on his lips as he shrugged, “So by all means, explain your wording, I’d love to hear you blame shift to ignore your own problems.” 

You glared down at your shoes, infantilized? You didn’t…! Anger simmered in your veins as you took a shaky breath to calm yourself as you let out a short laugh, suddenly looking up with a strained expression as you spoke, “Alright, I was going to be nice, but since you have no social ethic I’ll tell you why. I took one look at you when we first met and all I see is someone who’s completely hollow on the inside. Someone like you?” 

You spat out as your brows furrowed, “Has no remorse or care for others and after trying to figure out why I realized it’s not out of a bad life or mistreatment of any kind. You're just that kind of person that really doesn’t care. You’re the worst kind of person Chishiya, you don’t have any reason for the way you are, and I think you know that more than anyone else. This isn’t me trying to blame shift, I’m very well aware of my own problems, this has to do with someone like you manipulating and taking advantage of anyone, in your own words, stupid enough to fall for it.” 

You shrugged, your expression dim as you had hoped maybe Chishiya would’ve intervened to counter you and dispel your argument, but the more you spoke, the more you watched his expression become more cold and the more your own words were confirmed to you, “And you know what I think?” 

You frowned a little now, somehow saddened by the fact that there was obviously some truth in your words, “I think deep down, you're envious of people like us who can at least outwardly muster the attempt to be kind to people. Where as you?” You laughed a little, “You're so empty, you can’t even fake that. Every time I look at you, I see nothing. No concern, no care, not even anger. Just, nothing.”

The silence between you both, for the first time, felt very loud. Tapping your lip you hummed, deciding to shove even more salt into the wound, a bitter aftertaste about his words previously making you speak, “You know…” You turned around as you hopped off the ledge, now looking up at Chishiya’s figure that was still outlooking the city, “I’d diagnose you as a sociopath, but well...typically they’re charismatic. So I really don’t know what you are. Other than an incredibly sad existence.” 

Walking down the steps by yourself you felt the silence loud as your footsteps echoed. A part of yourself was licking your own wounds at his words, infantilizing…! You didn’t...you paused at the bottom of the steps, your expression wavering as you rubbed your neck...did you really do that to your sister…?

Looking back up at the steps you suddenly felt the urge to go back up and apologize to him, you were incredibly honest in your assessment, but...he did ask for it. Even after you tried to be polite about it. And if you could get anything from that, it was the assumption that he just genuinely thought you couldn’t read him or anyone else that well. 

You shook your head as you went back to the camp, whatever...It’s not like you’d be in contact with this guy for long. Once you all figured out what this Beach was, you’d simply part ways afterwards and you would no longer have to deal with him. Laying down on the taller grass wasn’t a great bed as you looked up at the sky. 

Still...it seemed like you were fire and ice together. You starkly remembered the look on his face, similar to now but something was different when you had both heard the words Game Cleared...you groaned as you rolled onto your side. 

Men were so frustrating.

“Are you sure this is it?” You felt a little reluctant at the sight ahead, there were certainly a lot of people but...it was as if they were far, far away from the reality of the Borderlands. And then it became apparent. Escapism, at it’s pure finest, if you had seen anything like it before. 

Chishiya’s eyes scanned over the map as he nodded, “If it’s anywhere, it’s here.” He confirmed as you all looked ahead as you curved a brow before shrugging as you sighed, it was better than nothing and you could use some answers. 

Strangely, it was as if last night's conversation didn’t exist between you both. You had woken up this morning and continued on as you had before, it was...very strange. You had anticipated he’d either leave or he’d alienate you. Maybe both? But then it occurred to you, he probably just didn’t care what you thought. 

You thought back on his expression which lead you to assume that no...It wasn’t that he didn’t care, granted he definitely didn’t care what you thought, that was a give but it wasn’t that he didn’t care in another way...That expression, it was dark and cold, not angry but...something bitter...How strange. You couldn’t pinpoint it. You were just glad you could, at the very least, co exist for the short while you’d be together.

“Well! Let’s go say hi then! I’m sure they’ll take us right to the leader or something...right?” Nanami leaned over to you in confirmation as you gave a weak smile before shrugging. You didn’t see any weapons and everyone was too busy playing around in the pool for you to assume otherwise. 

“Well shit let’s go! That looks like a lot of fun!” Akari was the first to bolt and Nanami was quickly after her as you and Chishiya walked behind them both and upon someone seeing you they had called out, “New comers!” 

And it was as if the whole party stopped. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you rubbed your neck, “Talk about party crashing...” You mumbled, immediately feeling unwelcome. 

“Hey…! You guys made it!” Ryu had pulled himself out of the pool in excitement as he ran up to you all, a boyish grin on his face in awe, “You found us surprisingly fast! It usually takes most people a week at most.” Well most people didn’t have a brainiac in their group...You briefly glimpsed at Chishiya who stayed just as stoic as always. Had it not been for him it probably would’ve taken two weeks to find this place. 

“Well if you’re here to join us I’ll take you to number 1!” Ryu nodded as he gestured to you all to follow him as you carefully looked around as you frowned, this place almost felt too good to be true...What even was it? 

Opening the doors to the upper level where all the higher ranked...members? Stayed you weren’t sure what you were expecting, “Welcome to Utopia! The Beach!” The man held up a bottle and his frizzy blonde hair swished around with his eccentric waving hands. It was the wall behind him that first you noticed. 

Playing cards had been drawn and only a little more than fifteen were X’d off? Was this supposed to be a whole playing deck? “Number 1! This was the group I told you about last night…!” Ryu waved a hand to you all in excitement, “I think they’d be a great addition to the Beach and it’s search for the cards!” 

“Cards?” Akari echoed out as she crossed her arms, flicking her hat up a bit to see better as you looked between both men.

The man let out a hardy laugh that made you wince a little...why did it feel like he was more than just...eccentric…? “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves Ryu.” The man slammed him on the back a little to hard making him jump as he rubbed his neck sheepishly, “Allow me to introduce myself! I’m Danma Takeru formly, most know me as the Hatter. Here in this paradise we foster hope for all! Drink as much as you’d like, eat to your heart's content do whatever pleases your soul!” 

This was way too good to be true. It had to be...

Something about Hatter seemed absent but you couldn’t figure out what only for it to immediately strike you, it wasn’t that he was eccentric, no...He was definitely neurotic, you weren’t sure how or in what way, but your professor had made your class do a project based on the signs and symptoms of neuroticism based in serial killers that could be attributed to the lead up in their crimes. Not that you assumed this was the potential for Hatter but...well it was the Borderlands and surely it had taken a toll on everyone to a degree...some more then others...

“There’s only three rules to allow you to stay here! The first being when on Beach property, swimwear is required!” He pointed a finger before lifting a second, “The second can be considered quite important.” Hatter turned around as he waved at the large wall, “It’s quite simplistic and I can’t leak my source. There’s only one escape from this hell, and that’s by collecting all the playing cards!” 

All potential problems aside your chest fluttered a little at his words, escape…! So this really was real, and you all were experiencing it and the only way out was through collecting a whole deck? Hatter madly grinned as he spoke, “A team of players is created each night as a group of three or four with balanced strengths in their respective game type where the chances of death are lowered significantly! The way this works is simple, rule two is to give up all your cards.” 

Really? That's all it took, this was…! This had to be full proof, a part of you still felt this was too good to be true, and you were sure part of it had to due with Hatter, despite his obvious signs of some sort of mental illness, he was quite the charming and upbeat person, it would be hard for anyone to not want to match his energy, “That’s right!” Hatter crossed his arms triphumantly, “Once we collect a whole deck a single person will be chosen to leave!” 

What…

Just…Just one person! “But…wait- how does that work? I don’t understand.” You immediately spoke up, pushing forward a little bit as Hatter’s gaze turned onto you, that wild grin of his showing as he chuckled. 

“We have a whole ranked system here! The more cards you collect the more your rank moves and the value of each card contributes to your rank. Creating one full deck is impossible for one person but the impossible becomes possible when you band a whole crew together, we have a lot of repeating cards so once the first person leaves more will soon follow after. That’s the goal of our utopia The Beach!” 

“I can’t believe we’re actually a part of something so…! Hopeful!” Nanami squealed from behind the barrier, she had finished changing faster than you but she was too excited, a brief smile tugged on your face as you glanced at the barrier before back to your dilemma, “I’m gonna go lay out at the pool! Catch up later?” 

“Yeah! Don’t wait up for me I’m...probably gonna be awhile…” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, you never really liked swimsuits all that much…

Nanami hurried out of the room as you sighed, picking up the bikini top in dismay...did they really expect you to wear beach attire the full time? Grabbing the halter top you hummed...beach attire! Okay you could make this work.

It had taken a little longer than you expected to find something that didn’t make you feel so exposed but in the end it worked out. Pulling up the high waisted shorts you ignored how far up your ass it pulled. You’d make it work! Pulling up the sheer beach cover you nodded in affirmation. Still somewhere in your mind lingered an important question, was this really worth it? 

Much to your surprise after Akari had agreed straight away Chishiya was the one after to agree, he didn’t seem thrilled...hardly excited either. It made you briefly wonder if he was only staying because this place had electricity which Ryu explained on the way to the dressing room that was fueled by a mass of propane tanks.

Regardless you wouldn’t be picky...It didn’t seem too terrible here. Just cards for free stay to food and a warm bed? It’s not like you’d get a full deck on your own, much like Hatter said you’d prefer to just live out your days at least in functional condition. And hey maybe if you gathered enough cards you’d move to a higher rank. You still wanted to chat with Ryu but just how the Borderlands worked. 

Closing the door the room you decided you’d search for him immediately.

The hotel was massive and not even all the floors were in use, looking down at your bracelet that was slated with 52, there was only currently what…? Forty members? Maybe a little more? Stepping out onto the terris your eyes scanned the large crowd that was all laid out, some in the pool and you could spot your sister surrounded by three guys, clacking your tongue you shook your head as you watched her giggle. It was hard to believe she had a complex some days but men not liking her...Honestly. 

Close to the middle of the pool you spotted Ryu and Hiroko, who for once had a smile on her face as she splashed him with a giggle. You felt brief hesitation, not wanting to interrupt but...you did want to hear a more detailed explanation about...well everything and Ryu seemed the most approachable…

Shifting a little as you looked down at your attire as you sighed in exasperation, finding a pool chair before shimmying your pants off and kicking off your flip flops before sitting at the edge of the pool dipping your feet in, “Hey Ryu!” You waved over, “Hiroko! Can I have a minute?” Hiroko frowned immediately upon sight of you but with a few whispered words from Ryu she adhered. 

“Hey…! I never did get your name. I really am glad you made it! Hatter has been asking us to go out and find people to bring it to help keep growing the Beach.” 

You offered a small smile as you kicked your feet in the water, it was the heat of july after all and the water was perfect for swimming, “Y/n, and that's my sister Nanami over there.” You nodded towards Nanami who was giggling over two highscool boys who kept shoving each other in hopes of getting her attention, “Thanks by the way, for last night. Honestly if it wasn’t for Chishiya it probably would’ve taken us weeks to find this place. It’s nice here.” 

“You mean the sour blonde?” Hiroko snorted as she glanced over near the pavilion they had set up, turning to follow her gaze you had spotted where Chishiya now was, sporting a pair of white swim trunks and his jacket still zipped up only with his headphones in and on his phone. 

“Is there even a wifi signal here?” You frowned as you tilted your head in wonder, he did look pretty sour sitting there, “Ah- anyways, yeah! That’s him, unfortunately he does live up to expectation.” You rolled your eyes a little as you returned your gaze back to the both of them before offering a weak smile, “What I wanted to ask was...God where do I even start, what are the playing cards, and what do they represent? Given we’re supposed to collect them I’m sure they have some significance, that’s a given.” 

“Playing cards are awarded for each game you play, the numerical value determines how long you’re allowed to stay at the borderlands on your visa, so if you were to complete a game at a value of five, you’d be allowed five days of stay” Ryu explained carefully, “Much like in a regular deck there’s four suits. What we played last night was a Clubs game, it stands for team building, meaning the game is usually associated with needing to work as a team to clear the game. Spades are related to physical activity- ah...not really my strong suit…” He rubbed the back of his neck feeling a bit sheepish. 

“He’s great at them!” Hiroko boasted, obviously proud of her boyfriend as she wrapped an arm around his waist, “He’s just modest- Diamonds stands for intellect and wit, typically anything that has to do with puzzle solving or use of logic and reason. Hearts though….” She winced a little as her nose wrinkled making you tilt your head in confusion, “I’m not sure to be honest, many say it’s a game of psychology, playing with the players minds to make simple game clears a lot harder. I’ve never experienced a heart game though. We’re still missing a lot on the board.” 

You tapped your lip as you hummed, “That doesn’t sound too terrible, I did notice they only have the 2 of hearts and the Ace up on the board...The most they’ve collected is spades and clubs?” 

“They’re the most common from what I’ve seen.” Ryu shrugged, “I’ve also never had a heart game, I had two diamond though and a lot of clubs and a few spades.”

You thought about it for a moment before nodding, alright this made sense, “And I’m guessing numerical value is the rating of difficulty?” 

Ryu brightly smiled as he nodded, “Yeah! We haven’t gotten anything past a seven though! And only one person experienced it and that was a Clubs too…” He rubbed the back of his head in thought, “Well things here only took off a few weeks ago to be fair…” 

“Just a few weeks ago?” Your mouth dropped in surprise before looking around in awe, “I never would've guessed! I thought it would take longer to build up such a crowd honestly…” 

“Not a few weeks-” Hiroko smacked Ryu on the back of the head as he whined a little, rubbing the sore spot as she spoke matter of factly, “It’s been a few weeks that we’ve been here...I think it’s been going for about a month altogether though...Things have been a little...tense…” She looked reluctant as she glanced away, a shadow cast over her face as you frowned, turning your head a little. 

Ryu and Hiroko exchanged looks as she nodded a little, “Well…” Ryu rubbed his shoulder as he lowered his voice, “Hiroko is in the top ten right now because of how much she participates in games, so one day she was with Kuzuryuu, Mihiru and An number 3, 4 and 5 right?” You nodded as you brows scrunched a little, wondering why Ryu seemed a little flighty as his eyes darted around as he lowered his voice once more, “Keep this between us alright? But when they opened the door with Agni- number 2 to a room full of slaughtered people. Apparently Hatter killed them all because they were hiding cards from him.” 

...Oh...so you were right? In assuming Hatter was definitely neurotic. Your professor would probably be proud but somehow you had a hard time taking pride in your assessment.

Hiroko winced a little at the memory as she looked away reluctantly, “...Hatter hasn’t really been the same, he only just created rule number three last week…” Right, rule number three. 

Death to all traitors. You had definitely suspected something was up with Hatter when he had explained that one but...you always tried your best to give the benefit of the doubt to everyone until you could no longer defend their actions by logic.

That one had admittedly caught your attention when Hatter explained that anyone with holding cards would be killed or if they tried to desert the Beach, a little scary but...again it wasn’t like it was possible for you to create a deck by yourself...But know knowing the story behind why that rule was put in place did make you feel a bit...Uneasy.

“That just happened?” Your face twisted a little as you wrapped your arms around yourself, both Ryu and Hiroko nodded. 

“Mhm, just last week. Things are slowly getting back to normal, there've been a few people resistant but I try not to think about it, word of advice? Just stay away from the militant sect, follow the rules and you’ll be fine.” Hiroko, for the first time offered a weak smile, despite her cool disposition she wasn’t too terrible. 

“Coming through y’all!” All three of you turned to watch Akari running full speed at the pool before jumping in making you jump as you covered the droplets of water that sprinkled you, “Whatcha talkin’ about over here? Secrets?” Akari swam up, floating on top of the water with a dorky smile, “I love secrets!” 

You couldn’t help but giggle as you splashed Akari with your foot as she yelped, flailing to stand up right, “Nothing that concerns you, did you abandon Nanami by herself.” 

“No offense but I think she’s doing pretty fine by herself.” Akari snorted as she nodded to Nanami, still yet again surrounded by boys but now had at least three drinks untouched sitting on the glass table next to her. Puffing a breath you rolled your eyes with a smile, typical. 

“They’re back!” Someone screamed before you heard more cheers making you straighten up as Hiroko puffed a breath, laying her arms on the edge of the pool as she rolled her eyes, “They went out to gather supplies because that snake tongue freak kept joking about using Ryu as target practice. I told Agni we were low on dry foods and alcohol so it worked out.” 

“W-well he wanted to set stuff on top of my head to um…” Ryu coughed a little as he looked away bashfully, twisting around you frowned as you watched several men walk in making your expression further contort. They all had guns. Like all of them. How has there not been a mass shootout? 

“We got all the liquor you could need! Get it fresh in the back everyone!” Your nose wrinkled at the sight of several piercings and you immediately knew who Hiroko was previously referencing to. 

“That’s Samura he just joined a few days ago,” Ryu spoke up as he nodded towards the guy with a fucking katanna on his back and tattoos all over his face, “People uh, just call him Last Boss though, he kinda looks like the end boss of a game that takes ages to beat. I think it suits him to be honest, a bit weird though…He immediately joined the militant sect as soon as he joined.” 

Hiroko rolled her eyes as she spoke, “Yeah Niragi apparently took a liking to him or something- I try not to keep up with them, they give me a headache. Plus that guy looks like a total shut in before he got dropped into the Borderlands, he has zero social skills.” You weakly smiled as you rubbed the back of your neck, that was a bit harsh...although you would say Last Boss did seem...there was something so focused yet...absent about his eyes. 

He in a strange way almost reminded you of a toddler that was still working on coordination between completing an action with someone's speech. 

The sun was suddenly blocked and a shadow casted over you as a raspy voice shouted out, “Well what do we have here? Fresh meat.” You glanced up to the tall dark haired figure, oh it was...snake tongue freak? As Hiroko had previously said, you would’ve in any other situation snapped something but this guy was carrying a sniper rifle like it was a loaf of bread. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself as you looked a little away, unsure of what to say as Hiroko suddenly stood all the way up, pushing herself out of the pool to stand up fully as she gave him a sneering glare, “Niragi go fuck with someone else.” 

The man- Niragi leaned back a little as he took a few steps back, cackling as he held up his hands, his tongue sticking out showing off the piercing briefly before he spoke, “Well excuse me miss bitch, I wasn’t talking to you.” A twisted smile appeared on his lips like it was some sort of sick amusement at Hiroko’s darkening glare, “Lemme see you kitty.” 

You made a noise similar to a yelp as you were suddenly dragged up to your feet and way too close to guy for comfort, his tongue sticking out and you were for a half a second wondering if he intended on licking you, “What a nice little body here, and such a pretty face too.” He cooed out sickeningly as he squeezed your face harshly, as you looked away from him, “I bet you and me would have a great time wouldn’t we.” 

You had dealt with a lot worse truthfully, and somewhere deep inside you were grateful you had otherwise you’d probably be in tears at how terrifying and semi psychotic this man was, “Sorry…” You winced looking up at him with an unappreciative look, “I only fuck people like you when they have a good paycheck.” 

Niragi howled out laugh making you briefly relax for a moment, offering a weak smile, at least he had a sense of- “Hey!” You screeched, suddenly being hauled against him as you squirmed to push away from him as you felt his hot wet tongue on your neck, “Let go!” 

His hands crawled their way up your waist as you squirmed, his tongue dragging up the lobe of your ear as he growled a whisper, “Why deny a good time huh? It’s okay, they’re always more fun when they resist.” He couldn’t get further when you jammed your knee between his legs taking the brief moment of his pain before harshly shoving him into the pool where a loud splash covered everyone who didn’t even pay any mind to the scene which obviously happened often much to your disappointment. 

Hiroko was immediately at your side, something motherish about the way she held you close as you watched Niragi flailed before getting his footing in the pool as he snarled, “You bitch!” Hiroko immediately brought you both back, her chest puffed as she glared him down as he crawled out of the pool, now towering over you both. 

What happened next baffled the both of you, something- No...a rock? It smacked straight across his head, not enough to cause any damage but enough to gain his attention, “These are quite useful for short range,” 

You whipped around in shock at the familiar voice, Chishiya had thrown a rock up before catching it as he glanced at the small thing, holding it up in examination, “Throw it hard enough and it could probably take out an eye,” He looked up at Niragi with perhaps the most frightening smile you had ever seen, his eyes in that classic cold sneer as he spoke, “Looks like you could use it given how blind you are.” 

You stepped away a little uneasy at the tension in the air that suddenly spiked as Niragi glared him down, Chishiya’s lips quirked into a smirk as he shoved his hands back into his pockets, not looking the least bit concerned. 

Wasn’t this just perfect? 

Note: I am by no means a Niragi simp but like,,,he lowkey kinda fun to write when Chishiya is constantly baiting this man into violence. Next chapter is v fun!! lemme know what you guys think so far! :)

[monsoonblooms12]

Kjæreste (King Liam x f!MC)

Summary: They have a day all to themselves full of love and cute moments of togetherness🧡

Kjæreste: (Norwegian) Dearest, Beloved One; Term of endearment for one's romantic partner😍

A/N: This is the giveaway prize for my lovely @parkdoesthings who won a place in my followers and birthday celebration giveaway. Wren, I hope you like it and the way I used the prompts you gave me. Writing them for the first time made me nervous as well as happy. Really hoping that you like this🧡

Prompts used: @parkdoesthings gave me the prompts "I missed you, so much" kisses + dessert. In addition to these, I have used Prompt 3, 14 and 16 from this prompt list by @creativepromptsforwriting. Feel free to send in more requests, I am always accepting!🧡

If you enjoyed the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going🤎

Pairing: King Liam Rys X f!MC (Odette Dawson)

Word Count: around 2K

Rating: General

Category: Fluff

Triggers: A few curse words (Just 1 or 2)

OTHER WORKS

The golden hues filtered through the strains of the satin drapes, filling the place like the aroma of a freshly brewed cup of coffee. The birds taunted each other playfully, all lost in their plays. A few of them beckoned her to join them.

She certainly would have, if she had those mystic spells, radiating sparkles on clicking her fingers, turning into an appealing blue jay, adorning herself in the summery blues and whites, just like the sky right now.

She had been lying awake for quite some time now, sleep being a long-lost pal. The silk of her covers ran like water under her fingers, and if it were someone who had not been accustomed to it, the sensation would have been enough to cradle them into a deep siesta.

Finally, she pushed herself to get up. The gentle sloshing of water around her as she gently placed down herself into the dreamy tints of the bathroom soothed her senses. Closing her eyes, she felt as if she was in a pond amidst a forest, all alone enjoying the tranquillity, as the woody scents dazzled her senses and the solitary rose petals caressed her skin.

It was unwinding and comforting, not to live by a schedule, blabbering all day around with stupid dignitaries or argue about some variety of apples.

Ugh, Apples! 

The only downside of marrying the king of Cordonia that she could think of. She could go on about her list of grievances she had with apples, but right now, if she thought about them for a second more, she would throw up.

And when in Loire Valley, never think of those gross little piece of mischief, she made it her motto.

Especially when they make you vomit.

The soft pink fabric fluttered in the merry breeze, the net covering her hands, making her look as elegant as the chandelier that now adorned her majestic room, every thread glowing like diamonds on a bracelet.

She gives a twirl, she wants to feel the fluffiness of the holiday, but yet she couldn't.

Not when there is someone she has been waiting for, eagerly, unabatingly.

Now and then, she would pick her cream-coloured cellular, glide to the balcony, leaning down to make out the appearance of a car, her chestnut brown locks dancing joyfully.

A shrill cajoled her out of her reverie, and her heart leapt to a beat of joy.

The soft music playing in the room seemed even more melodious to her as her feet lead her to the doorway with a swift dance-like motion.

She opened the door, the dazzling smile brightening up her face like a 100-watt bulb.

Only to find the waiter standing there with her breakfast.

Her face fell as if it was not a royal buffet, but trays full of apples in front of her.

And when the waiter blushed thinking that he was the reason for her joy, her anger built up like the pressure in a pressure cooker.

She knew a stream of rudeness would escape if she opened her mouth, hence she sealed her lips, put on the exercised smile and stepped aside for him to enter.

Breakfast was other-worldly. She had quite forgotten the sheer deliciousness a classic French breakfast carried in itself.

Her mouth was an adobe of butter, chocolate and coffee, and all her objections vanished with a bite of that melt-in-mouth croissant.

The weather showed a solemn change as the white were replaces by greys and the golden slowly muted down.

She didn't really love rains, any season for that matter, but she could deal with everything. She decided to go down for a stroll, deciding that she had little to do in this room all by herself.

The softness of the Earth under her shoes, the multitude of colours in front of her soft brown eyes, the splendid fragrances filling her nostrils, the melody of nature playing in a loop in her ears and the sweetness of the solitude making her heart flutter.

All her senses were enamoured as she twirled around the gigantic flower garden.

A golden yellow butterfly greeted her by landing on one of her fingers, wanting to hold her finger and take her on a tour around her adobe.

Both of them silently exchanged a few words, and Odette happily agreed to get enamoured by the fluttery beauties and silky petals.

But she hadn't taken a step when two palms softly covered her eyes. She was startled but knew better than to scream. Her heart told her that it was someone she knew and not someone who would try to harm her.

As if someone would even be able to get past the heavy security

Her ringed hand gently reached for the hands which were still placed on her eyes. She felt them, a metallic feel of a ring, gave her a serotonin boost. Her heart danced and the smile that was waiting for its chance finally spread on her face, making her look like a goddess.

With a gentleness equal to the one when they were placed, Odette removed the hands, didn't even bother to open her eyes and kissed the person behind her with so much love that one would have melted into golden honey by its power.

But he didn't.

Their love wasn't cancelling out each other, it was multiplying to become so powerful that it would engulf them forever.

Placing the foreheads together, Odette finally opens her orbs, which shone like brilliant diamonds, to look up at the person whose arrival she awaited. The blush that spreads on both of their faces is automatic.

He twirls the stray lock that adorned her beauty around his finger, his hand, the ringed one, tightly wrapped around her silk regalia.

"I missed you so much! You know how impatient I am, and yet, you made me wait." Odette whines lovingly, the smile never leaving even through her complaint.

"I am sorry, Ette! There was an emergency apple-themed event-"

Odette's eyes narrowed, and an unamused pout took the place of the preceding grin.

"Can we please skip the apple talks, please? I did not come here to escape about those vomit-inducing pieces of shit."

All the while, Liam chuckled, always amused by the thought that out of everyone, he fell in love with that gorgeous lady who hated apples.

"Soo... Now that you are finally here, what are we supposed to do? Just stand here staring at each other?"

"I mean, that wouldn't be bad either."

"C'mon, Li! I didn't travel all the way to here to stand and stare at you. I already do that, every time, at Cordonia." Even though she had spoken it matter-of-factly, it made him blush and grin.

Even more because he had been doing the same, every moment she had been with him, right from the day he met her.

But he had always been a hopeless romantic, she had not.

Whenever Odette told him that he was the one who had made her realize that love and soulmates actually exist, his heart would start running a marathon in his chest. He still couldn't comprehend how someone like him had ended up getting someone like her as his queen.

Every poem, every romantic song, pales in front of the hues of their love, and since words were not enough to express it, he made sure to show it to her, every day, every time, every moment of his life.

"We will do whatever you want to do! This vacation is all about you, after all." He said as she linked her arms into his, but not before she made a wordless promise to the butterfly that she would come back and go on the tour.

As Liam led them towards the car, Odette pulled him back.

"Not the car, Mr Rys. Loire valley has enigmatic forests, and if we are not doing a forest trail, we will seriously miss out on the greatest beauty, the beauty of nature."

And he was in awe, again.

This is the side of Odette that makes her the queen he wanted by his side. How much respect and appreciation she has for everything, especially nature. He happily gave in to her demand.

The soft crunch of some dried leaves and the earthy scents enveloped the area. It wasn't secluded, now and then, the excited chirps and melodious tweets of the feathered beings spread through the air.

Odette's eyes joyfully travelled all around her, the multitude of chrome spreading a happy surprise through her heart.

"My Queen"

She looked up at him, their browns dissolving into each other.

"You know what these hues remind me of?"

"What?" She asked in a silent whisper.

"You."

"Your colours. The multi-chrome of your attributes, and the elegance they add to your persona. They make you charismatic"

"Liam, Yours is the only colour I want to get painted in."

Their lips meet like muscle memory, without any initiation. It was a reflex registered in the record book of their cerebrum.

Their thoughts entangled, arm around each other, the trail ended before they realized. They were now standing in front of the eight o'clock café.

"It isn't eight o'clock yet, but there is something special I've got arranged in here for you." Odette winked, pulling him in.

A few silent whispers later, Odette took Liam to the secluded first floor of the café, only for him to get the surprise.

The arrangement was a large table with his favourite board games, Carcassonne and Scrabble, neatly arranged on it. If he had been a kid, he would have screamed up and down, and circle danced with her.

No one had ever done something like this for him, and he doubted someone ever would.

Well, except her.

The next hours were filled with mindless laughs, funny fights, fake waves of anger and joyful screams.

The voids between those were filled with delicious coffee and melt-in-mouth gelato that had been specially arranged, again by Ette.

She had ordered flavours he had not heard of, and with the constant consumption, he had become a fan of the chocolate fondente flavoured one.

Utterly tired of the endless rounds of gameplay, they finally took their leave while thanking the people their generously for bearing their shenanigans.

Who would have guessed that board games would be so much fun even after years of not playing?

Not them, definitely.

"Just one more spot, and then we will go back, I promise." Odette winked, again.

He doubted if he would ever be able to refuse to her enigma even if he wanted to. One look and he would do anything to make her smile the way he likes.

The surprise that emerged in front of him posed such a stark contrast to the one before that for a moment he felt like he had got a tour of the polar opposites.

His eyes travelled up to the dazzling Ferris Wheel, standing majestically up before them.

"Just executing my idea of experiencing opposites in a day, that's it."

He wanted to kiss her as his life depended on it. But before he could get hold of her, she was already rushing towards the ticket counter, and he followed.

It was the last ticket, and gladly, they had managed to get it. They rushed to enter their cabin, hand in hand, adsorbing the cheerful air around.

The view that met their eyes was heavenly, like a piece of God's adobe fixed neatly amidst the man's land. Their eyes shifted once outside, and the next minute they found themselves staring at each other, eyes sparkling like stars of the endless sky.

She was his flower moon, the happiness and love she brings to his life matching with the fertility and flowers May brings with itself, which is what the Flower Moon symbolizes.

She shines differently from everyone, a unique sight for anyone who lays their eyes upon her, dazzling brilliantly.

The brilliance that pales every obstacle, every pain with the power of her love, she was destined to stay with him forever.

The wordless promise he made holding her hand, that he would fight with the worst if it was to keep her in his heart's labyrinth.

She was the one who made his heart beat, after all.

PS: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day ahead! Love, Manamee🧡.

Tags (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed or if I forgot you):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @jessiembruno

Liam x Odette: @anotherbeingsworld @ao719 @hopelessromanticmonie @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002

[krreader]

aurora.

pairing: kim taehyung x reader ; jeon jeongguk x reader ; jeon jeongguk x iu fandom: bts ; solo artists (iu) warnings: language genre: angst ; fluff word count: 6k+

summary: dawn comes after the darkness, and with it the promise that what has been torn by the sea is not lost. - lisa wingate

a/n: you read that right. 6k. this escalated so hard. but anyways, let me say the biggest fucking thank you to my lovely friend @belovedcherry​ who actually commissioned this and was kind enough to let me post it. I am beyond grateful for you, seriously. I truly hope this is everything you wanted and more and thank you again for being such an amazing person. I love you, boo ♥

“What are you doing? It's too early,” you turned around when Jeongguk opened the curtains, the sunlight hurting your eyes this early in the morning, so you tried to squeeze them together tighter.

He started chuckling and jumped back into bed, wrapping an arm around your middle and pulling you against his naked chest, “It's 11 AM, (Y/N).”

“Too early,” you whined, but started giggling when he began to kiss your shoulder, then neck. His hand rested on your hip, but slowly traveled up until he could hold your hand.

His thumb brushed over the back of it, then over the diamond ring that he put on your finger only last night. Then, you finally opened your eyes, smiling at the memory of the simple, yet beautiful proposal over dinner. The most wonderful things he had said last night, about you, your future..

“I still can't believe it,” you whispered.

“Believe it. Believe that you're going to be the lucky Mrs. Jeon (Y/N) soon,” he chuckled into the nape of your neck and pulled you yet again closer, breathing in the scent of your shampoo.

“I really am the luckiest woman alive.”

It was a memory that used to give you joy, of course. How couldn’t it? A proposal was supposed to bring happy memories with it. 

But it seemed as if everything went downhill from there on. Thinking back on it, that was the last good memory that you had of your time together.. of him. And if you could.. you’d gladly erase it from your mind, just so you’d finally stop your heart from hurting so much and the tears from flooding.

But how could you have possibly known? After four years, you obviously had trusted him blindly and believed everything he told you. Every promise and every 'I love you' was a genuine one, you didn’t even question it once.

So how could a person that promised you the world, throw you away like garbage in less than five seconds, when you were ready to give up everything for them? How could the person that promised you their name replace you so easily and give it to someone else only five months after your broken engagement?

Like it meant nothing.. like you meant nothing.

“I don't.. I don't understand,” everything was.. fine. Everything was perfect, this made no sense, why was he saying these things? Why was he suddenly talking about IU again when he hadn’t mentioned her name in years?

Was this because.. she broke up with her boyfriend?

“I'm truly sorry, (Y/N).”

“You're.. sorry?” you got up from the couch, your eyebrows furrowed, “You're telling me you're sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry that you want to throw away everything you and I built for the last years for the chance of being with someone else? You're replacing me for the slight possible of being with.. someone else?”

Being broken up with was a horrible feeling in itself. But the reason for it being that he wanted to replace you.. now that was something that would leave you scarred forever.

Jeongguk tried to look at you, but he failed miserably.

He felt mad at himself and so utterly ashamed, but it's what his heart wanted.. it's what it always wanted. So he couldn't pass up the chance of finally being with her now that he got it.

“She already approached me, (Y/N).”

“So you already cheated on me,” it wasn't a question. It was a statement.

“No!” he quickly yelled out, “No, we didn't, we only.. we agreed to meet.”

“You fucking asshole,” you let out a humorless laugh, your head shaking, “You fucking asshole,” you repeated, but this time you screamed at him, pulling the engagement ring off your finger and throwing it at him.

“I'm sorry,” he repeated, his voice barely audible.

Jeongguk and you used to be so happy that even the thought of you eventually breaking up with each other was not something you could have ever seen happening. He was your soulmate, your best friend, your ride or die. He was the one who was always there even when he was far away, the one who you saw as the father of your children.. well.. that one turned out to be kind of true.. but only kind of.

“Miss?” you jumped a little when the lady working at the airport stood in front of you with an unsure smile, but quickly put on a smile as well to show her that you were ready to listen now that she already ripped you out of your thoughts, “I'm really sorry, but there's no seat left in the front row, all passengers that sit there paid extra already.”

“Ah, I see.. thank you for trying anyways.”

The only reason why you wanted that seat was that you would have liked to stretch out your legs a little more. Ever since your pregnancy began you were having trouble with your legs swelling, something completely normal, but on such a long flight you would have appreciated it if you have had the chance to stretch a little bit.

Your hands rested on your belly, a sigh escaping your lips, “I hope you'll be more comfortable than mommy, little bean.”

This wasn't the life you had wanted for your child.

You had wanted your child to have a happy family once it was born, a happy father and mother who were more than excited to finally be able to hold him or her in their arms. But what would they get instead? A scared and lonely shell of a person who was struggling mentally and financially..

But no matter the financial problems that you had, you couldn't stay in Seoul.

Not with their pictures being plastered everywhere you went. Not with the ‘Congratulations on your marriage!’ slogans in every subway station.

“Flight L730 to Sydney is now ready to depart. We ask our passengers sitting in first class, as well as our gold star members and senators to..-” the lady started to announce. Most people had been lining up for a while already, so you decided that you'd get up and get in line as well, especially because it wasn’t as easy for you anymore to just get up and walk somewhere, despite you only being five months pregnant now.

You were minding your own business, when two girls in front of you started talking about a subject that you really had enough of hearing about.

“Did you see their wedding picture? IU looks breathtaking, don't you think?”

Your jaw began to clench, your eyes slowly looking up and seeing the picture that one was showing the other through the gap of their shoulders.

“I'm so happy for them. He's tried so long, I'm glad he finally got his happy ending with the woman he loves.”

They didn't know.

They couldn't know.

You weren't even allowed to be angry at them, because they were oblivious to what had been going on behind closed doors. No one had known about you. Four years he had kept you a secret. Fuck, even Bangtan didn't know you existed for the first two and a half years. And even after that you rarely saw them. Jeongguk never told you the reason as to why he didn't like you being around them, but you had been alright with it. You weren't dating him for his group, after all.

Still.. you often wondered what people would think of Jeongguk if they knew the truth.

If they knew how he had handled the entire situation.. especially in regards to the baby.

“(Y/N).. you need to stop calling me,” he let out a heavy sigh, his fingers massaging his temples.

“You need to listen to me,” you let out a sob, the pregnancy test between your fingers shaking due to your trembling hand.

This just made everything ten times worse.

A broken heart was one thing, but a baby.. fuck. This complicated matters.

“No, I don't,” Jeongguk looked to the sleeping IU to his right, then pushed the covers away and walked into the living room so he wouldn't wake her up, “I've apologized enough, I can't do much else than that. You need to accept it, as hard as that might be. I truly am sorry.”

“Jeongguk, I..-”

“No. We're done,” he said a bit more sternly now, “Goodbye, (Y/N).”

You had sent him countless of messages afterwards in which you told him about the baby, but the messages were never opened or read. After a while and after a few more calls that never went through, you realized that he probably blocked your number.

And that was that.

Because you didn't have any other way of contacting him.

He had moved out of your shared apartment after the break-up and you didn't know where he lived now. You also didn't have phone numbers of any of his band members.. you had no way to tell him that he'd be a father soon.

But now, after five months and the wedding picture that you saw on the phone of this girl, you once again realized that even if he knew, he probably wouldn't even care..

..because it wouldn't be her baby.

Just like you didn’t matter anymore, because you weren’t her. 

“Flight L730 to Sydney is now ready to board for all passengers. Please take out your passport and flight ticket for us to scan and we hope you enjoy your trip.”

Your hand once again rested on your belly, your thumb gently brushing over it.

This was it.. you'd finally leave that part of your life behind that once brought you so much happiness but had left you with a shattered heart.

It was for the best.. maybe you'd even find your happy ending there.. someday.

                                                  three years later

“I love Sydney,” Jimin sighed happily, leaning back in his seat and enjoying the sun shining into his face.

“You say that about every country we tour in,” Taehyung chuckled and wiped his mouth with a napkin, “But I agree.. it's beautiful. Especially the architecture.”

“If you end up talking about architecture again for an hour straight, I'm going to leave,” Jimin warned, but with a smile.

“I mean, come on, how could I not? It's such a beautiful mixture of old and new architecture, forming something so unique and special that..- hey! Come on!”

But Jimin stayed true to his word and actually got up, “No, I'm sorry, I can't listen to another one hour ramble about some architect that’s already been dead for years, I already did that in New York and London. You pay, I'll be back at the hotel.”

Taehyung let out a disappointed sigh. He should have simply asked Namjoon hyung to go to lunch with him. At least he would have listened.

“Uh, sorry? Pay?” he asked when a waitress passed by, then quickly looked down to pull out his wallet from his pockets.

“I hope the food tasted good?”

“Ah, very good!” and when he turned around to look at you with his boxy smile, both you and him instantly froze.

You recognized each other within a second, despite you not having seen each other in years, and even then, only briefly.

He knew who you were and you obviously knew who he was, not just because of the fact that his face was plastered all over town because of their upcoming concert, but also because of your history. Your history, that you successfully managed to forget about.. or at least.. that's what you wanted to believe.

“You..- (Y/N)? What the hell are you doing here?” he instantly switched back to speaking Korean, his smile reappearing on his face. He even got up and hugged you tightly, despite you and him never having been that close to each other.

But maybe he was just happy to see a familiar face in a foreign country.

You just stood there stiff as a tree, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“Man, it's so nice to see you again! It's been.. what? Three years? How have you been? What's new?”

You couldn't have this conversation.

Not here and not now, because you couldn’t predict your emotions.

You hadn’t talked about what had happened to anyone ever since you left and you didn’t want to do that now after you successfully locked that part away and threw away the key.

“Do you want to pay with cash or card?”

Taehyung was taken aback, but the surprise of meeting you so suddenly made him completely forget about the reason why you left in the first place.

Maybe seeing him didn't bring back the best of memories.

“Card, please.”

He took that moment that you walked away to get the machine for his card to gather his thoughts and really think about what he'd say next. He didn't want to overstep any boundaries, or more than he already had.

And so when you were back and inserted the card, he said, “I never got to say that I was sorry about everything that happened between you and Jeongguk, but..-”

“Don't,” you whispered, your eyes firmly on the machine.

“What?”

“Don't pity me,” you handed him the machine, “I don't want pity.”

He gulped down hard. He hadn't said one good thing to you, apparently. And he felt bad about that. So he quickly typed in his PIN, but before he handed you back the machine, he said: “When are you done here? Do you.. want to go grab a coffee? Talk about.. something? Not.. him. Just catch up?”

“I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Please, (Y/N). You live here now, right? So maybe.. you could show me around a bit? I only have today off, so I'd love to see some secret spots that only the locals know about,” he grinned.

“I'm not your tourist guide,” you said bitterly and handed him the receipt, already wanting to leave again.

“I know you're not,” he got up and wrapped his hand around your wrist, quickly letting it go again when he saw the way you looked at his hand, “I want to know how you are. I truly do.”

It was the sincerity in his eyes that made you actually think about it. A part of you told you not to fall for it, that he was just like Jeongguk and that you'd get nothing good out of having an actual conversation with him, even if you'd never see each other again after today. But you had always liked Taehyung those very few times that you saw him. He always treated you well, respected you and took good care of you when you were out together for dinner.

So because of old time's sake, you said: “I get off in two hours. So 5PM sharp,” and with that you turned around and walked back into the restaurant, leaving a smiling Taehyung behind.

“Hyung!” Jeongguk ran after Taehyung when he wanted to get into the elevator, “I've been looking for you! Do you want to go out? Do something?”

Should he tell him? Probably not.. not even for his sake, because Taehyung knew that he didn't care, but for your sake. You probably wouldn't want him to know that you were here.

“I already have plans, sorry.”

“Huh? With whom?”

“See you tonight for dinner!” Taehyung pressed the button and watched Jeongguk's eyebrows draw together in confusion when the elevator doors closed.

He was a little early when he arrived back at the restaurant, so he just stood outside and watched you work for a while.

You were still pretty.. he always thought you were beautiful, but the Australian sun illuminating your skin and smile.. it suit you. Taehyung could never quite understand Jeongguk on why he rather wanted IU than you. If anyone were to ask his opinion on the matter, he immediately would have chosen you to be prettier than her. But maybe that’s just personal preference..

“You should just ask her out, mate,” a guy nudged his side, making Taehyung jump a little.

“Sorry?”

“(Y/N). She's single. Actually, would do her good to have someone by her side,” he only understood half of what he was saying, especially because of the accent, but this guy seemed to know you. When he walked into the restaurant he realized that he must be your co-worker since the two of you started talking casually.

It was only when you approached Taehyung after you got off that you confirmed it, “My co-worker thinks you have a crush on me.”

“I just.. I wasn't.. I was just..-”

“Relax,” you chuckled, “I told him you're an old friend,” you shouldered your bag, “What did he tell you?”

“Honestly? I don't know. The accent was a bit.. much.”

“Yeah,” that made you laugh as you two started to walk away from the restaurant together, “It takes a little time to get used to it. But people are nice here, you know?”

“So you're happy?”

You didn't answer right away, really thought about your words, “I'm.. okay. It's easier here than it was in Seoul. And it's getting better every day, you know?”

Taehyung nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, “I thought about you a lot, actually. About whether or not you were doing okay. Some of us thought about contacting you, but we didn't know how.. and.. well, we didn't know whether or not we should get involved.”

“I'm glad you didn't,” you admitted, “I needed space and.. time. I needed to be alone to really cut that part of me off, as hard as that sounds.”

“No, I understand,” he nodded, “Still.. it can’t have been easy, moving here all on your own..”

“I wasn't alone.. not really.”

“Oh? Then you..-?”

Taehyung must have thought about a man, a boyfriend maybe. A past one, since that co-worker mentioned you were now single.

But that's.. not really what you have had in mind.

Before Taehyung even knew it, you had led him to a child care center. Only a few children were out playing at this time, since it was already rather late.

He was confused for a moment, thought you might just wanted to pass by, but.. you walked in.

And he followed.

“MOMMY!” a little girl, not older than three, ran into your arms with her black pigtails, you picking her up and spinning her around.

“Ah, I missed you so much,” you showered her face with kisses, loving the giggling sounds she made, “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeeeeah! We made a lot of drawings! I’ll show you!”

“Okay,” you gently put her back down with a smile, “Then hurry, get your bag and paintings. I'll wait here for you.”

She ran back inside, past the child care worker who waved at you to greet you.

For a moment you had completely forgotten that Taehyung was even there, only when he spoke did you remember, “Oh my god..”

“I told you not to pity me.”

“I'm.. not, I'm just..- does he know?! He never said anything?! Oh my god, he knew and didn’t say anything? Or did you never tell him? I don’t..-” his eyes were wide, plainly speaking what he was thinking. Which.. didn’t make much sense.

“I tried telling him, but he blocked my number. He was.. too busy,” you shrugged, “I don't care anymore, Taehyung. I made a promise to myself when I gave birth to her that I won't let him ruin my life any more than he already had. I got two jobs to provide for my girl, I got us an apartment that is big enough for the both of us and I'm doing the best I can to give her everything she needs and wants. I don't need him anymore and I will never need him again.”

He was.. glad to hear that, really. He was actually even a little proud that you got your shit together like this, but it still pained him that Jeongguk would do this to you. To him, it almost felt like he was a little bit responsible, even though that was bullshit.

Taehyung couldn’t have changed any of this, Jeongguk was his own person and you knew that. 

So you didn’t hold a grudge against him or any of the other members. This wasn’t their fault.

When your daughter ran back out she finally saw Taehyung for the first time. He thought she may be shy, but not at all. She actually extended her hand to him, “I'm Zoe.”

“Zoe, my friend Taehyung is Korean.. can you introduce yourself in Korean?”

Her eyes widened, even beamed a little and Taehyung couldn't help but grin and kneel down when the little girl bowed and introduced herself in Korean.

“Wow! You speak Korean?”

“Mommy taught me!”

“Your mommy is a very smart woman.”

“The smartest,” the little girl giggled and leaned against your leg.

“Oh wow.. did you paint these?” Taehyung pointed at her pictures and your little girl instantly showed him with a proud smile, “These are.. amazing!”

“Mommy he likes them! Did you hear? He likes them!”

“I heard,” you grinned and picked her up, brushing down the skirt of her dress, “Let's go home, though. You need to eat something and so does mommy.”

Taehyung didn't move when you walked up ahead, he didn't think you'd want him to come, but..-

“Hey.. you coming or what?” you smiled at him and even Zoe waved him over, “Come on, Taehyungie!”

"We need to talk about honorifics, I think,” he chuckled.

Taehyung remembered the old apartment you used to live at with Jeongguk. It had been luxurious and big, too big for two people actually.

Your apartment now was a lot more cozier.

It was a one bedroom apartment, small, but still nice. It felt.. like home. Like what he always wanted to experience when he was a teenager and thought about moving in with his girlfriend eventually.

“Look,” Zoe struggled to climb up on the couch, her tongue sticking out in concentration, but once she sat next to Taehyung, she proudly showed him all her favorite paintings that she made, “This is mommy and this is me.”

“Wow.. your mommy looks so beautiful here. And you look so cute!”

“My mommy is the beautifulest person on the planet,” she proudly said.

Taehyung raised his head and watched you make dinner in the kitchen. You had put up your hair, but some strands kept falling into your face. He watched with a smile as you pushed them back again and again, letting out more than one annoyed sigh because of it.

“She really is,” he whispered.

Zoe might only be three years old, but kids were a lot smarter than adults gave them credit for.

She looked the same direction that he looked at, then looked back at him, “Do you like my mommy?”

“Huh? Oh, I..- well, your mommy is an old friend, you know?”

She was quiet for a moment, then she asked, “Are you.. my daddy?”

Oh god.., “I'm.. uhm.. just a friend, sweetheart.”

“Oh..-” her shoulder slumped in disappointment, then she pulled out a paper from the very bottom and showed him. It was of her, you and a man.. but the man didn't have a face, “I don't have a daddy, you know? All of my friends do.. but I don't.”

It broke his heart.

It absolutely shattered it, actually.

And he wanted to punch the living shit out of Jeongguk and that had never been an emotion he felt before.

“But you have your mommy.. and she loves you so much,” Taehyung tried to console her.

“I know,” she nodded, slowly beginning to smile again, “I love her most.”

“Okay,” you walked into the living room and put two plates down in front of Taehyung and Zoe, “I'm sorry, love, I didn't have time to go grocery shopping today. I hope this is okay..”

“PASTA!” she screamed in excitement and sat down on the floor, “Thank you, mommy!”

You gently brushed through her hair, then handed Taehyung a fork, “I know, not what you're used to, but I hope you like it nevertheless.”

“It's perfect,” you stared at each other for a moment, you being the first to break the eye contact when your daughter started to tell you about her day.

But you still caught yourself staring at him more than once throughout the dinner.

Maybe it was the way he talked to Zoe that made you feel this way, the way that Zoe looked at him.. or maybe it was just that you've been so lonely for so long that it was nice to finally have someone like him here again. Someone from your past? Someone that you once liked and got along with? Or just.. anyone older than your daughter?

Maybe.. maybe it was the fact that it was him.

And you knew that was stupid. 

Because what the fuck did you think was going to happen?

He was still a BTS member, he was currently on world tour and he'd leave in what.. two days again? Getting attached was a stupid thing to do and you were not stupid.

Not anymore.

“You need help?” Taehyung peaked his head into the kitchen after dinner to see if you needed help with the dishes.

“I'm good, thank you,” you smiled at him from over your shoulder.

“Mommy, can you read me my bedtime story?”

Zoe squeezed past Taehyung to stand in the kitchen, already in her pajamas. 

“Can you give me ten more minutes?”

“I.. can do it. If you.. want to and if that's okay with you?” Taehyung looked at you to await your approval, but it seemed like Zoe decided before you could.

“YES!” she jumped up and down and pulled him with her into your bedroom.

It seemed like you shared your bedroom with your daughter. There was only one bed here, so he assumed you and her slept in one bed.

And he was correct.

She tried her hardest to climb up onto the bed like she had tried with the couch earlier, but she had no chance with the bed, it was simply too high for her.

Taehyung grinned and gently lifted her up, then sat down next to her, “This is my side,” she proudly said as she got under the covers, “Mommy sleeps there.”

“That's so cool!”

“Mommy says that once we have enough money to move, I get my own bedroom!” she squealed in excitement.

And once again, Taehyung's heart started to hurt.

Jeongguk had so much money.. and you were here sharing a bed with your daughter because you could barely afford this apartment. How was this fair?

News flash. It wasn’t.

None of this was.

And that was Jeongguk’s fault right from the start. But it was only now that he realized just how much of his fault it all was.

Nevertheless, he didn't want to show his emotions to the little girl.

Instead, he read her the bedtime story that she wanted to hear, doing his best to deliver it in a way that children would find entertaining.

Only that.. she really didn't care about the story. At least not when he was much more interesting.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, love,” he closed the book but kept his finger in it, in case she wanted to hear more of the story later on.

“Do you know who my daddy is?”

Oh god.. what should he do? Lie to her? 

Yes. Absolutely. You had your reasons for not telling her about Jeongguk, he would not be the one to tell her about him if you hadn't so far.

“I don't.”

And once again, her shoulder slumped.

“I think about him sometimes.. maybe he hates me, so that's why he left mommy..”

“No,” Taehyung immediately shook his head, “Don't think like this. You are a wonderful girl. You're beautiful, you're smart and,” he picked up one of her paintings from the night stand, “So talented. Whoever your dad is, wherever he is, he’s an idiot for not seeing that.”

She giggled, “You said a bad word.”

“Don't tell your mommy, okay? I’m scared she won’t like me anymore if she finds out.”

“I promise,” she giggled, then quickly pushed the covers away and cuddled against his chest, closing her eyes for a moment, “I hope you visit us more often. I really like you..”

Taehyung slowly wrapped his arms around the little girl, but he didn't say anything. Because he didn't want to make her a promise that he couldn't keep.

It took five more minutes for him to come out of the bedroom, smiling at you when he saw you leaning against the wall opposite of the bedroom.

“She's a cute girl,” he whispered.

“Yeah.. I got really lucky.”

Taehyung completely forgot that he had dinner plans with the rest of the boys and his managers tonight. He hadn't checked his phone for hours and wasn't planning on doing it now as you and him sat in front of the couch with glasses of wine in your hands.

“I don't ever really bring men over.. so this is all new for her.”

“What.. no sexual adventures?”

“I know this might be hard to believe, but it’s not exactly easy to do that when you have a toddler sleeping in the same bed as you,” you both chuckled.

It was quiet for a moment, you staring into your glass, when he asked: “She seems to be thinking about her father a lot.”

“It's hard for her to understand why everyone else has one and only she doesn't,” you took a sip from your wine, “But I can't bring myself to tell her the truth. Not now. She wouldn't understand anyways. So I just don't tell her at all.”

Taehyung didn't say anything.

And you noticed that.

“You disapprove.”

“It's not my place to have an opinion on this, (Y/N). This is your child and your child only.”

You liked that. That he didn't acknowledge Jeongguk's role in this, because that's what it was to you now. He was only the one who made her, but he had no place in her life.

Still.. you thought about him every now and then.

And it's been three years.

You were over it.

“How is he?”

“No, I'm not talking about him,” he shook his head.

“I'm okay, Taehyung.”

“I don't care. He doesn't deserve for you to even so much as think about him.”

“He's still your best friend, just because of what happened between him and me doesn't mean that you have to hate him too.”

“I didn't hate him. Not before. But..-” Taehyung gulped down hard, “If I have had the chance to have a girl as beautiful as Zoe as my daughter.. I'd be the happiest man alive, (Y/N). And he..-”

“He doesn’t know and I stopped blaming him a long time ago. I realized that I’m a much happier person if I don’t focus on what went wrong in my life and just appreciate what went right. I used to hate him, but at the same time, I am so grateful that he gave me Zoe. She’s everything to me.”

“Still, I'm sorry for what he did to you. And there is no way that I can.. undo what he's done.. but maybe I could.. I don't know.. come by every once in a while?”

“Sydney isn't Busan, Taehyung. You can't just get in the car and be there in two hours.”

“BigHit is giving us more breaks nowadays and.. we're thinking about a hiatus anyways. Nothing is set in stone, but we all need a break. Maybe one year, maybe two, maybe more, maybe forever,” he then realized what he just told you and his eyes quickly widened, “But.. don't tell anyone about that. That's actually top secret and I shouldn't have told you about it.”

You chuckled and nodded, “I won't tell. Promise.”

“So.. what do you say? Would you like that?”

Your smile slowly faded, then you shook your head a little as your eyes fell onto the picture of you and Zoe together, “I trusted Jeongguk with my entire being and he broke me for having done that. I can't be this naive again. Not when I have Zoe. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, I understand you. But I’m going to prove it to you.. that I’m not him,” he made a promise to himself that night. Jeongguk might have abandoned you, but he wouldn't. He had let you go so easily back then, but he couldn't again, not after all this.

You didn't say anything. You just continued drinking your wine with him in silence.

Nothing happened this night.

You just talked about his life, about your life, catching up like old friends. And it really felt like that's what you were, despite you not having talked a lot back in the day.

Taehyung completely forgot the time and boy, everyone was so mad at him for coming back so late. They thought something might have happened.

And that was true.

Something did happen.

He had made a decision and a promise on where he'd be five years from now.

And he kept that promise.

                                                 five years later

A hiatus that already lasted almost two years, but they needed that time.

Bangtan was drained and they all needed a break.

However, they all went their separate ways, all doing things they were passionate about. But not with each other.

Jeongguk, who had just signed his divorce papers after his marriage with IU had slowly but surely been falling apart for the last three years, was incredibly lost. Normally, he'd just spend time with his hyungs and they'd pick him up again like they always did, but with the way they were all scattered around the globe, that wasn't so easy anymore.

He ended up taking a flight to Sydney.

Him and Taehyung weren't as close as they once were and he never found out the reason for why that was, but he could really use the one that he once called his actual brother.

Maybe this would even bring them closer together again.

Taehyung had once told them the address he'd be staying at while he'd be in Sydney for emergencies, so that's where he was going now.

A.. surprise visit.

Only that when he got out of the car, he didn't see Taehyung, but someone he had only recently been starting to think about a lot again.

And what a surprise it was indeed.. but for him.

“Why are you so bad at admitting it?” you laughed happily as you got out of the car, Jeongguk staring at the girl, not older than eight, who looked.. exactly.. like him, “I know you like him.”

“Mom, stop it,” the girl giggled, “I don't like him, boys are disgusting.”

“You're such a bad liar.”

The girl sprinted into the apartment building, while you walked to the trunk of the car to get the groceries out.

He just stood there in shock, watched you unpack everything, not being able to move or say anything.

But it was as if you knew.

Knew, that someone was staring and watching you.

You stopped moving momentarily, then you turned around and looked around until your eyes fell on him. The man you hadn't thought about in five years. Because you really had no reason to anymore.

He didn't look good. He looked like he hadn't slept in ages and the man you once thought to be a god now looked so mortal and human.

He reminded you of you when you first came here, actually.

Both of you stared at each other for a very long time, before he was the first to approach you.

“You're.. here..?”

“I think the better question would be why are you?” your voice was so strong compared to his.

“I.. well, Taehyung.. hyung, he gave me..-”

“Mom, can you hurry..-” Zoe stopped when she saw you talk to a man, “Oh.. sorry.”

And you could tell that he knew instantly.

Maybe it was the age or the fact that she looked just like him. Probably the latter.

“Hi,” he managed to say in a high-pitched voice.

“Uh, hey,” she furrowed her eyebrows, “Should.. I get.. dad?”

“Dad?” Jeongguk looked at you in confusion.

“It's fine, love. Just wait upstairs. I'll be right there.”

She left, even though she seemed unsure of whether or not she should leave you alone with this guy. He seemed.. weird.

“Dad?” he repeated, “She..-”

“I tried telling you, Jeongguk. I called, I texted, I did everything I could. But you were too busy chasing after your happy ending that, from the looks of it, didn't work out in the end.”

“Who is dad?!” he asked once again.

“That's none of your business. It's not you, that's all that matters.”

“But I am! I am her father! You just said it, she’s my kid!”

You let out a laugh, “No. You really aren't. You might have been the sperm donor, but that’s all you are.”

You wanted to walk past him, but he quickly grabbed your arm, “(Y/N), wait..-”

“No, I know what you're going to say. You're going to apologize to me and you're going to tell me that you made the biggest mistake of your life. You're going to tell me that IU wasn't the one for you after all and you're going to ask me to forgive you, maybe even for the sake of my daughter. Is that about right?” when he didn't answer, you knew you were on the right track, “So let me tell you right upfront, Jeon Jeongguk. The times of me crying over what could have been are over. Because for the first time in over five years, I am finally happy. Completely and utterly happy. And I'm not like you. I'm not going to throw away my happiness like you did.”

He slowly but surely let go of your arm, his shoulders slumping.

“You were wrong back then, you know? It wasn't me who could have been lucky to have you,” you smiled at him, “It could have been you who would have been lucky to have me. But that's your loss.. not mine.”

He came here for Taehyung, but he didn't even think about his hyung after this encounter.

All he could think about was regret.. his body was full of nothing but regret.

You, on the other hand, got into the elevator with a proud smile and entered your apartment with an even happier smile as you saw your son waddling towards you. 

Completely naked.

“Hey, hey, hey, why are you running around with no pants again?”

The little boy giggled and hid behind you and a moment later, Taehyung slid into the hallway with his socks.

“Oh! Hey! You got him!”

“Did he run away again when you wanted to change his diapers?”

“I swear it's not my fault,” he laughed, quickly kissed your cheek and then picked up his son, “Come on now, I know changing diapers isn't your favorite, I don't like it either, buddy, especially after the last time you peed in my face, but it has to be done.”

You walked into the kitchen with a grin to put away the groceries when your daughter joined you.

“Who was that guy, mom?” she sounded worried, but you still smiled at her.

“Just.. someone from my past.”

Maybe she knew. If she did, she didn't say anything. 

Life changed as much for you as it did for her. 

She wasn’t the three year old anymore who was yearning for a father, because she had one now. And even if she knew that Taehyung wasn’t her biological father, it didn’t matter to her. He raised her. He loved her. He cared for her.

She hugged you from behind like the angel that she was and held you tight, whispering, “I love you, mommy,” into your back.

Your life used to be so broken that you felt like it would never be okay again.

But as you could hear your son scream from happiness and your husband making airplane sounds and as you turned around to properly hug your daughter, you once again realized that you’ve finally passed the stage of darkness.

“I love you too, Zoe Kim.”

[k-s-morgan]

Hi! This isn’t an ask, but more of a rambling that I deemed too long for the comments, that stems from your post claiming Book of Circus as your favourite Black Butler episodes. and to that I say - YES. Book of Murder is a masterpiece. It houses one of my favourite scenes - the one where Sebastian says: "This wasn't a scenario decided by God or fate, but one decided on by my master, with timing decided by my master. I was killed by the criminal expected by my master, by the Hione who came to torment my master", which really captures the essence of whole 'Ciel vs God' dynamic that's woven into the duration of the show.

Throughout the plot, there are three major instances in which an offering is made to Ciel - offerings of redemption. The first is from Angela - a chance to purify himself and have an afterlife - which he so vehemently rejects in the knowledge that he quite literally *is* his darkness, and therefore refuses to rid himself of it.

The second is comes from Abberline in his death, where in his final words he tells Ciel he has a chance to take back his future. And Ciel has to watch him die with the knowledge that he has already made up his mind about his fate. I don't think he's so affected because he regrets selling his soul. I don't think he suddenly wants to live, or no longer wishes for revenge. But I believe the reason he is so affected by Abberline's death is because he holds a sentimentality for him that is not dissimilar to the one he feels for Elizabeth. Ciel is cruel, I don't think he regrets the steps he has taken to get to this point, nor the ones he knows he must take in the future. But though he is cruel, I believe he has a sort of fond curiosity for the untainted goodness that characterises those like Abberline and Elizabeth. Like you said before, he feels condescension towards the man perhaps due to the naivety his blind heroism implies, but I think his attachments to him come from an underlying curiosity to see if such goodness can exist in such a corrupted world - a silent hope to be proven wrong in his cynicism. When Abberline dies, that very hope he didn't even know he had gets shattered. It brings about a sort of forced perspective that makes Ciel question himself in ways we haven't seen before.

Abberline's death had been avoidable and it was certainly in vain. Abberline had died for someone who had already made up his mind - someone who had rejected God once before and would do it time and time again as proven in the anime. Ciel is such an interesting character because, although he is dark, he still values the light and makes some sort of effort to preserve it in spite of the contempt he feels for them. It is the thought of dying in vain that seems to bother him so greatly, not death itself. No, Abberline dying isn't enough for him to want to live again, or to even think about throwing away his revenge - that was never in question. But it is enough to extinguish the lingering flicker of hope he had for humanity (despite being so distanced from term himself).

This, combined with the disappointment he feels at Sebastian's actions, causes the existential haze of uncertainty that leads to the third and final offering. And the most surprising thing is that this offering comes from Sebastian himself. He senses the doubt in Ciel and, like every thought the boy experiences, fails to understand it. He mistakes it for him second-guessing his revenge and decides to discontinue their contract. But he isn't angry - that much is clear. Instead, he wishes him to "forget everything and have pleasant dreams", with a rather wistful expression on his face. What this line ends up reading as is a bittersweet  goodbye from the demon - an offering for Ciel to let go of his revenge and find happiness in the afterlife with his now soon approaching death.  There is almost a strong disappointment in him, but is not resentful of it - Ciel is human and he can't keep expecting him not to be. His offering almost acts as a thank you for the moments of excitement their contract had given his monotone life and I believe that is why he makes it.

He sticks around to see if Ciel accepts his offer, though already expecting him to, and is there to witness the very moment the boy rejects it. Gone is the uncertainty of Abberline's death and the Paris crisis, and Ciel, the Earl of Phantomhive, returns to him - sharper, colder, more ruthless than ever. Sebastian realises his misjudgement and returns to his side, ready for the final battle. Killing an angel. It's laughably symbolic.

The rejections of God, the evasion of the Hope Diamond's curse (where he even wore two rings as if to taunt the fates), the references in Book of Murder - they all depict this metaphorical sort of battle between Ciel and God. And the ending of Kuroshitsuji II is the depicts how he triumphs over fate, claiming his rightful place as an immortalised creature of Hell.

I know I've gone on a bit of a tangent here in your inbox, but that one quote from Book of Murder is so symbolic to me in the way it sets up the comparison between Ciel and God (in which 'God' represents power over fate).

Before I sign off, though, I just want to make light of the existence of the show's final offering, occurring in the last few minutes of the series. This last offering has nothing too do with God, nothing to do with any complex battle between the Phantomhive and fate, but is much simpler than that. In fact, the final offering of the show comes from Ciel, and he gives it to Sebastian - it's almost poetic, is it not?

"Are you sure you don't want to pull it any tighter?"

In this single, unassuming line, Ciel is asking Sebastian if he wants to kill him, and release himself from the eternal contract they've found themselves in. Such a noble and dignified soul as Ciel would always be sure to make through on his word and, despite the loophole that now extends their contract, he would still be willing to let Sebastian kill him should he wish to do so. The man may no longer be able to take his soul, but the boy can still give the order to kill him and free himself. Ciel's respect for Sebastian is complex and contradictory at times, but what never changes is his willingness to die by his hands and see through to his side of the contract.

“Is it over? The one who plunged me into bottomless darkness… I don’t even know why she did it.”

In the episode where Angela is crushed by the Church, Ciel offers his soul to Sebastian. Even when unsatisfied with the result, his unwavering nobility led him to make good on their deal and fulfil his end of the contract. The earl faced the demon, his expression calm, and with a steady voice said “A promise is a promise. Take it.”

This unwavering dignity and nobility he holds in himself I believe is the reason for this offering and Sebastian's turn to reject it is almost a 'love confession' (as you have brought me to see it) in itself.

As a final sort of note - I just wanted to let you know that, since reading your reply to my comment on TGSTLTH (from a while ago), I brought myself to rewatch Kuroshitsuji II with your interpretation in mind and ended up really enjoying it. You've singlehandedly made me do a complete 180 on a season I previously hated - looks like I had just watched it from the wrong perspective. So, for that, I thank you

Hey! Sorry for getting to your ask just now. I absolutely loved it :D And yes, Book of Murder is a masterpiece - I still remember watching it for the first time. It was late at night, I had to go to bed, everyone was sleeping, but I kept watching because stopping just wasn't an option, I had to know what happened next.

Ciel vs God is such an interesting topic. In some ways, Ciel and Sebastian exist in their own universe where there is no place for anyone else. There is a God aka Ciel and a demon aka Sebastian. And they are both allies and adversaries at the same time - they are tormenting each other and uniting to torment others.

I agree absolutely that Ciel holds a fondness for certain people, with Lizzy and Abberline being a good example. He has a degree of contempt and irritation for them, but they do mean something to him. Ciel's curiosity is a big and detached thing, and this places him on Sebastian's level in such an interesting way because sometimes it's almost like Ciel isn't human himself - humanity intrigues him as if he doesn't belong to it. His fascination with the light just underlines his affinity with the darkness.

I have many thoughts about Ciel's behavior during the days following Abberline's death, and you certainly introduced many excellent points! My general opinion on Ciel's motives is... complicated. I agree that he never felt like really giving up his revenge and trying to live a 'happy' life - he knew it's not for him at that stage already. However, I feel like Abberline's parting words affected him a lot, even if briefly. When Abberline tells him that he can start everything from the beginning, Ciel sounds absolutely heartbroken when he confesses, "I don't have a future." The way he acts later, telling Sebastian to stop and not kill the angel, hesitating, reinforces this idea to me. I think you described it best - Ciel is having an existential crisis. It's not like he suddenly regrets his decisions, but he's temporary unanchored and unsure what he wants and what he should do. Having a dream where Abberline urges him to give up his hatred also seems to affect Ciel, but it's so telling that he wakes up and immediately says, "Sebastian." It's a fascinating arc and I can't wait to explore it.

I love your words about three offerings - so true. And I'm so happy you liked S2 when watching it from a new perspective! I used to be so confused as to why people hated it: it's not perfect, but I thought it was amazing in many ways, especially its bittersweet ending.

[novantinuum]

Hi, I was just wondering if you had ever thought about what would have happened in your story "Hollowed Moon" if you had continued it. I always thought it was such an interesting setup that could have gone in so many different directions. And there really aren't other stories focusing on Stevonnie and Spinel, so it was unique!

Hiya!

So, I do have some half-written, half-plotted out material to share. I gave this story some consideration the other day, and came to the decision that I don't have the desire to finish it out, alas- I have far too many other active WIPs to add it to the list. There's a few good reasons why I discontinued it, anyways... intimidation over the huge surge of attention it was getting back in 2019, some rude comments from overzealous Spinel fans, (I know everyone isn't like this, but a certain segment of the Spinel side of the SU fandom kinda burned me over time, hhh), and a future chapter containing a sensitive topic that I wasn't in a good headspace to write about at the time.

But! Anyways! Below the cut is all the existing material I have for Hollowed Moon past chapter 14, consisting of a mixture of descriptions, sketchy dialogue, and prose. It honestly feels nice to finally be able to put this story to an official rest.

__

Chapter 15

“I... I saw her.”

“Who-?”

“I saw Pink Diamond. I saw you, in this exact garden, in a dream. I- it was like I was experiencing everything through her. She explained your game, tapped your nose and told you to smile, then warped away—“

“That’s it, that’s what happened, almost exactly! But how could you even know that, I never—“

“I don’t know,” they blurt out. “I have empathic abilities, and sometimes that makes dreaming a little weird, but I have no idea how or why I saw any of this.”

[Pause for Stevonnie to think]

“Spinel, I’m so, so sorry,” they whisper brokenly. “But I think... she left you here.”

“What...?”

“She said she’d return, but before she warped away she whispered goodbye, like she didn’t actually intend to make good on that promise. She was lying to you,” they choke out, voice thick.

“No. No,” she says in clear denial, “no she’s not. She can’t be! She told me she’d come back! I can wait! I just have to wait—“

“But she’s not! She... she can’t, because Pink Diamond is gone. She- she was shattered, Spinel. Five thousand years ago, on the Earth. I- I should’ve told you this from the beginning, and I didn’t, and I- I’m so, so sorry—! But she left you behind, and now she’s never coming back.”

[Silence. Tears brim in Spinel’s eyes. Her eyes grow dark, pained, and then she glares at Stevonnie with such venom it almost knocks them backwards in alarm. ]

“NO!” she screams, tears streaming down her faded pink cheeks.

[She tears her feet up from the roots and runs away, using her arms like an orangutan to vault herself forward super fast so Stevonnie can’t catch her.]

___

Chapter 16

AN: Content warning for self-shattering attempt. Part of the reason why I had to stop writing this story at the time. I considered pushing the plot another way, but it didn't feel authentic to how I believed this scenario would play out for Spinel when she didn't have a direct target for her anger. Without someone to actively be jealous and upset AT, I could only imagine her breaking inwards instead of outwards, feeling that she's utterly failed in her life's purpose. Nothing more than a description for this chapter... and it'd be a short one.

[When Stevonnie finds her, she’s smashing her fists against her gem in her sheer anguish. She’s already cracked it. She’s glitching. It looks terribly painful. She’s about to strike her gem again when Stevonnie intervenes.]

___

Chapter 17

[Post timely intervention. Spinel is still cracked at this moment, though... her form glitching as she cries.]

“I was... her best friend,” she cries, fat, glistening tears streaming down her cheeks. “I was supposed to make her happy! Why wasn’t she happy? Why didn’t she come back?“

[Spinel reasoning that maybe if Pink came back for her, she wouldn’t have been shattered in the first place]

“What did I do wrong?” she whispers hoarsely, gazing pleadingly into Stevonnie’s eyes. “Wha- what am I doing? Why do I wanna hurt myself so badly?”

“Shh, now,” they reply, tears of their own brimming at the crease of their eyes, and pull Spinel’s head to their chest. “I’ve got you...”

___

Chapter 18

They know their throat is tight, and their voice scratchy. They know they’ve never sung this song in front of another living being, since it’s something personal they composed alone on one of their late nights back on Earth, thinking about all the difficult days Steven and Connie have had to face over the months. Pair this with their active crying, and there’s no way their singing will be anything pretty.

But pretty doesn’t matter right now.

Stevonnie opens their lips, and— clutching the broken hearted Gem close, rhythmically rocking with her back and forth— lets the wandering melody emerge from within.

“I guess I have to face That in this awful place I shouldn’t show a trace Of doubt...”

“But pulled against the grain I feel a little pain That I would rather do Without...”

“I’d rather be Free, free Free...”

[Hoarse, Spinel starts singing with them.]

“I’d rather be Free, free Free...”

“Free, free Free...”

“From here...”

[Stevonnie holds her tight while crying, their tears healing it back up.]

___

Chapter 19

AN: Don't have anything but a single bit of dialogue in this chapter note- I'm assuming I intended it as being a good few hours after the events of chapters 16-18... when Spinel has calmed down a little and has a moment to reflect on the upsetting news she's just received.

“I think... I always knew,” she says, voice hoarse. “In a way. It was so obvious how she felt about me.

___

Chapter ?

AN: From here on out, the plot hasn't been split into individual chapters.

[At some point shortly after chapter 19, Lars and his crew locate Stevonnie in the garden, and pick them and Spinel up. The next few bits of dialogue and description takes place on the ship.]

Rutile twins: “I haven’t heard of Spinels being produced in over five millennia.” “Me neither!”

Rhodonite: “Yeah, I heard they stopped making them entirely after the rebellion on Pink’s colony.”

[A bit of overwhelming conversation later, no one really noticing Spinel's conflicted emotional response to so many Gems hovering around her at once.]

Padparadscha: “I predict that you’re both going to make Spinel feel very uncomfortable aboard this ship.”

Rhodonite: “I’m sorry, we don’t exactly meet new Gems every century.”

Rutile twins: “Yes!” “It’s just been us until we met our captain!”

Fluorite: “Our new huuuuman friend helped us escape the tunnels on Homeworld. Now... we’re slooowly making our way back... to Earth.”

Spinel: “Earth?? You’re going to Pink’s world? But why? I heard she... was shattered.”

___

[Spinel feeling a sense of kinship with the idea that there’s other Gems who didn’t serve their rightful purpose and are now escaping their life on Homeworld to be free of that. Because now, without her Diamond, since she was unable to keep her happy, she’s an Off Color too. She failed her given purpose same as them.]

[Discussion of Earth, and the rebellion, and how there’s Gems living free there. And how Pink’s colony was siphoning life away, and that’s what these Gems were fighting to protect. Stevonnie points out all the plants and wildlife that used to live in the garden, and asks her if she felt happier when it was around. Spinel says yes. Stevonnie says that this is what the Diamonds are destroying, with each lifeless colony they forge. Everywhere they go, dead wildlife lies in their wake.]

Spinel: “I... guess I never thought of it that way.”

[(Stevonnie adds...) And while they’re very sorry for the personal connection there, and can’t imagine how painful that must be, that’s why Pink Diamond was shattered.]

[Spinel is given an open choice... Lars gives the invitation to stay with him and the Off Colors, and Stevonnie offers for her to come with them back to Earth. It's not a hard decision for her in the end, though. She's always dreamed of seeing what was once Pink’s planet, ever since she heard the Diamonds bequeath it to her.]

___

Stevonnie: “Okay, so… before we go, I need to be honest with you about something." [deep breath] "I’m actually a fusion of two separate people who are close friends. You... know what fusion is, right?”

Spinel: “Duh, o’course! What, d’ya think I was made yesterday?”

[...]

Stevonnie: “But even with that, I can’t be together as me all the time. Steven and Connie, the two who come together to form me... they love hanging out with each other so much, but they also have their own lives! Other friends, other hobbies, their own families. They still talk when they’re apart, but they know it’s okay to do things alone, too. Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

Spinel: [shakes head no] “No...?”

Stevonnie: [sighs] “I understand you’ve been left behind. Believe me, I know how bad that feels. So the last thing I wanna do is make you think I’m doing that too.”

Spinel: “Y-you— you’re going away?” Stevonnie: “Unfusing, yes.” Spinel: “But Stevonnie, you—“ Stevonnie: “Spinel. No matter what, you are my friend. Steven and Connie consider you a friend, too. And my hope is that you’ll keep making a whole bunch more on Earth, so you’ll always have people around who know and love you. But that can’t always be me, okay?“

___

[At home... on Earth. There's a bit of a close call for Pearl when Spinel arrives, and recognizes her as Pink's second pearl. This is news for Garnet and Amethyst and Steven, the first of which had somewhat suspected that Pearl used to be in the diamonds' service, but never knew for sure. Pearl, of course... can't say much on this due to her gag order... not that anyone else knows about that yet... but does manage a very concise and PD=RQ free explanation about her past in Pink's court, and her transition towards being a Crystal Gem:]

Pearl: “Rose Quartz set me free, and I’ve been a part of the rebellion ever since.”

___

[At some point between the last scene and the next, mention how Spinel had a bit of a relapse... she ended up poofing herself, and reformed differently. A little bit closer to the smudged mascara and frayed pigtails look of canon, but no rotated heart. Unlike in canon, she has a solid support system amongst the Crystal Gems, and she's working hard to recover from the heartbreak of Pink's abandonment.]

___

[Final scene is set post A Single Pale Rose. Steven and Connie fuse, and Stevonnie goes to find Spinel to check in on how she's taking the news. The final line of the fic is as follows:]

Spinel: “I know you’re not her, not really. And I know you’ll always be a better person than she ever was. But in some silly cyclical way... back in that garden... it’s almost like Pink came back for me after all.”

[tinysidestrashcaptain]

It's Only Logical - Chapter 22

Chapter 22: The Big Day

First chapter Previous Chapter

Pairings: Logicality/Prinxiety

Warnings: None, this is all fluff!

Virgil’s eyes scanned the jeweler's case with an increasing sense of frantic paranoia. The wedding was literally two days away, and Logan had physically dragged him from his house to finally find Roman’s wedding ring. Perhaps the notion that he could find the perfect ring was one he should have deleted from his brain around jewelry store number three, but he really hadn’t expected it to be this difficult to find a damn ring! And he hadn’t MEANT to put it off this long, LOGAN, but nothing that he saw was really right.

“There are literally ten rings that Roman would wear right in this first row, Virgil. You’re getting married in 48 hours, and you can’t do that without a ring, or so I have been told.” Logan arched a brow at Virgil, who shot him a frustrated glare.

“It can’t be just ANY ring! I need a ring that’s at least as good as the one currently sitting on my left hand!” Virgil held out the hand in question, the ring of red and black melding together in a perfect mix of himself and Roman. “Standard diamonds and gold just aren’t going to cut it here.”

Just as Virgil was about to write it off as yet another failure and melt into a small puddle of panic, Logan spotted a ring in the back of a small case. It was black with a twisting motif of purple, Virgil’s favorite color. “What about that one?”

The ring that Roman had given him sat heavy on Virgil’s finger, and he looked closer at that one ring. It was...him. It would be his favorite color on Roman’s finger, for always. “Excuse me, can I see this one, please?”

“Of course, sir.” The jeweler smiled as she opened the case and pulled the black and purple ring out for Virgil to inspect. As he turned it over in his hands, he thought about how it would look on Roman, about how this flash of dark and color would gleam against tanned skin.

“I’ll take it.” Virgil’s soft smile melted into a put upon scowl as Logan heaved a great sigh of relief. “What?!? It had to be perfect!”

“I’m just relieved that perfection actually exists. What kind of best man would I be if I let you face your future husband without a wedding ring? You’d be dead before you were married.” Logan grinned as Virgil playfully smacked him.

“Yeah, yeah, you saved the day. Now let me pay for this so I can finally check the one thing I’m responsible for in this wedding off my list.” Virgil handed over his credit card with no regrets, taking the small bag from the jeweler with a grateful smile.

“That’s not true, Virgil. You’re also responsible for showing up.” Logan followed him out of the shop, giving the amused jeweler a friendly wave goodbye.

“Nah, that’s what you’re responsible for.” Virgil winked at him as he got into Logan’s car.

“Oh, so I have to add “wrangle Virgil” to my list of matrimonial duties? Thought you were looking forward to this.” Logan laughed as he started the car and drove them towards the cafe.

“Oh, I am. Probably not as much as Roman, if the sobbing over his wedding binder last night was anything to go by.” Virgil shook his head fondly at the memory. “I don’t know, I just don’t see the point of all the fuss, you know? We love each other. We’re in this for life, until we’re old and wrinkly and gray. That’s the headline here, everything else is just window dressing.”

“Don’t let Roman hear you say that! He’s worked very hard on this wedding and it means a great deal to him.” Logan shot Virgil a warning look, arching a brow as his best friend put both hands in the air like he was surrendering.

“I know, and that’s the only reason it matters to me at all. You know me, I hate all the attention, but Roman wants this. He’s been dreaming of this, and I want to give him that one perfect day, you know?” He looked out the window, face flushing at the admission.

“Yeah, I know. Why do you think I agreed to turn Roman’s backyard into his dream garden? Roman wanted to get married at his house, where we all had so many good memories with us and Mom, and I couldn’t say no even if I’d wanted to.”

“His puppy dog eyes should be classified as a lethal weapon, I’m telling you!”

“Oh, his have nothing on Patton’s, let me assure you. Seems to be a family trait.” Logan chuckled as he remembered the way Patton and Thomas had ganged up on him last week. “And Thomas isn’t far behind. I truly stand no chance.”

“Wow, two Sanders Puppy Dog eyes at once? You are well and truly fucked, Lo. There is no escape.” Virgil gave his arm a sympathetic pat as they parked. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the rehearsal dinner. You're still good with all of us crashing at your house for it, right?”

“It’s not like I don’t have the room, Virgil. Go, have fun. Enjoy your last night as singles together, since Roman already asked me to have a guest room made up for you so you won’t see him before the wedding.” Logan laughed as Virgil groaned loudly in protest and threw his head back against the seat.

“Great. Can’t wait. I’ll see you tomorrow, Lo….and….thanks. For everything, you know?”

“You don’t ever have to thank me. We’re family, this is what we do for each other.” Logan’s face softened at his best friend’s quiet words, and he knew why Virgil had said it. Not many people would have given or done as much as he had, and his best friend hadn’t had the easiest life growing up. Of course he’d feel the need to express gratitude, even if it was totally unnecessary. “...Did you ever decide? About your mother?”

Virgil froze, his whole face shuttering like a switch had been flipped. “Yup. Not changing my mind. She may have given birth to me, but she isn’t my mother. My mom is buried out in the cemetery, and my brother is my best man. I don’t need any other family than that.”

Logan felt sentimental tears sting his eyes at that, and he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. “Alright then. Your family will be right there with you, every step of the way. For what it’s worth, Mom would have been very proud of you. She always thought you and Roman would make a good couple, so she’s probably giggling into her tea right now.”

“Goddammit, why did EVERYONE figure us out before we did?!?” Virgil shook his head as he got out of the car, leaning down to meet Logan’s eyes. “She would have loved all this. Like to think she’s still watching, you know?”

“She is, Virgil. And she’ll definitely be watching on the big day.” He watched Virgil nod once before closing the door and heading into the house, leaving his purchase with Logan for safekeeping until the ceremony.

__________________________________________

It was a perfect day for it, tailor made with candy blue skies and balmy air scented with flowers. Everything that Logan had planted with Patton and Virgil’s help was blooming in an explosion of shapes and colors. There were white chairs set on the lawn, and a shimmery drape of fabric tied with bunches of fresh flowers marked the aisle that Roman would walk down.

Patton turned away from the window, smiling as he watched his mother and sister fuss over Roman’s gown. It was a stunning dress, an elaborate white ball gown with beading and a train, dyed red just at the bottom. Roman had foregone a veil in favor of fresh flowers woven into his hair, and Val had done his makeup in red and gold with lashes that made his eyes look stunning. His brother looked beautiful today, and he could feel himself getting a little misty. “You look incredible, Ro.”

“Damn straight he does! God, I wish I had your cheekbones.” Val giggled as she applied just a touch more highlight before stepping away to let Roman inspect her work. “Virgil is going to absolutely die. I can’t wait.”

“Oh honey, there is nothing straight about today! But I do look spectacular, if I do say so myself.” Roman laughed before giving Valerie a fond hug. “Thank you, menace.”

“You’re welcome, brat.” Val mumbled, blinking back some tears.

“You always were a queen, sweetheart. Today you just look the part.” Lydia grinned as her children laughed, then gently reached out to take Roman’s hand. She placed a beautiful bracelet of sapphires and diamonds on Roman’s wrist, fiddling with the clasp until it sat just right. “Logan asked me to give you something today. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, isn’t that the old saying? He said it was his mother’s set, so now you’ve got the borrowed, blue and old all in one.”

Roman took a deep, shuddering breath, one hand gently tracing over the bracelet with shaking fingers. “I wish you could have spent more time with Minny, mom.”

“I do, too, sweetheart. She was a special woman, and it’s so sweet of Logan to think of this. And all the work he did to put this together just how you wanted? You’d better say thank you.” Lydia smiled as she straightened Roman’s train, fluffing it a little. “And Patton, you’d better hang on to him.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, I intend to.” Patton laughed as he gave Roman a hug. “Now, you ready to get out there and wow the crowd?”

“Aren’t I always?” Roman laughed as he took his bouquet from Val, straightening his shoulders. He knew it wasn’t traditional for a man to wear the dress, but he’d always wanted a gown and his family and future husband were more than supportive. He felt beautiful, regal even, and he couldn’t wait to see Virgil’s face.

Out on the lawn, just underneath an arch that was decorated with red roses and purple wisteria, Virgil fidgeted as Logan straightened his tie for him. “Not getting the jitters, are you, Virge?”

Virgil smiled at him and shook his head. “I’m not nervous anymore, not even a little jump in my belly, Lo. He’s a good man.”

“Yes, he is. A very good one.”

“I made him wait for so long. Years, when you think about it.” He let out a laughing breath as the music struck up. “Time’s up.”

Logan chuckled and took his place by Virgil’s side, feeling his heart absolutely melt at the sight of little Lily toddling carefully down the aisle in her dress, tossing flower petals, then little Thomas in his suit carrying the rings. He gave Thomas a thumbs up before taking the ring boxes with a smile. Patton entered next, his blue eyes alight with joy as he took his place opposite Virgil, Logan and Thomas, gently holding Lily’s hand.

It was sweet, watching Roman walk down the aisle to Virgil. Watching Virgil’s face light up in awed delight at the sight of his future husband. The ceremony was perfect, soft and lovely with a gentle breeze wafting the perfume of the floral blooms through the air. They had wanted to get married in the garden they would tend, in the home they would live in together, and it struck Logan as a perfectly romantic setting.

Virgil’s vows were earnest and heartfelt, prompting Roman to blink rapidly and fan himself to avoid crying. Roman’s own vows were poetic but heart wrenchingly honest, and Virgil kissed his hand after they exchanged rings. It was perfect, Virgil looking handsome in his suit, Roman looking flawless in his gown, and the crowd broke into spontaneous applause when Virgil swept his husband off his feet and twirled him around before kissing him. Barbara topped off the ceremony by popping the first bottle of champagne to toast the happy couple.

“You do good work, sweetheart.” Patton said as he clinked a champagne glass against Logan’s.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“It’s like a family tree. They two of them sprung from a branch on your tree. You aren’t family by blood but it amounts to the same, really. It’s their connection to you that brought them together. They did the rest, but the connection started it,” Patton said softly, watching his brother beam from Virgil’s arms as the photographer snapped pictures.

“That’s a sweet thought. I’ll take it.” Logan sipped his champagne and blinked back the sting of sentimental tears. He’d been mentally wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings lately, and watching the joy on his best friend’s face today was settling his heart into the comfortable acceptance that this was something he might just want for himself. “I wanted to talk to you about something, actually. It can wait until after Roman has his big day. By rights, a wedding day should belong to the bride, after all.”

“Oh? What did you want to talk about?”

“Let’s just say it’s about connections.” Logan gave Patton’s cheek a fond kiss. “I need to run back to the house really quickly. With all the excitement today, I forgot the very special bottle of champagne I had for the bride and groom.”

“I can go get it,” Patton offered, running one hand down Logan’s back with a smile.

“It’ll be faster if I do it. Fifteen minutes, tops.”

As he walked to his car, he was stopped when Barbara called out to him. “Hey, Logan! Hold up!” She paused by Logan, slightly breathless with a crying Lily in her arms. “I’ve got a cranky little girl here who won’t go down for her nap. Car rides always put her out. We can take mine, it has the car seat?”

“Sure. It’s going to be a quick run, though.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter. She’ll be out like a light in a minute.” Barbara gave him a grateful smile as she expertly wrestled Lily into her car seat and started towards Logan’s house. As advertised, the baby’s head started to droop and she quieted before they even got out of Roman’s driveway.

“Works like a charm.”

“From what Patton tells me, it does the same for Thomas, too. She looks so sweet in her little pink party dress.”

“Everything looked so beautiful today! If Shir and I ever renew our vows, I want it to be just like that. Flowers, family and friends. I always thought I’d want a big church extravaganza, but this was so romantic.” Barbara said softly, smiling as she drove.

“It was just perfect for them. So nice to--wait. Slow down! Stop the car!”

“What? What’s the---oh my god!”

They both stared towards Minny’s Garden. Logan had closed for the day to allow everyone to enjoy the wedding. But someone, he could see, had been there. Someone still was. Several of the outdoor displays were overturned, and a car was parked sideways on the grounds, crushing one of the flower beds.

“Go. You and the baby, get back to Roman’s right now.” Logan said, reaching for the door handle. “Call the police as soon as you get there.”

“Don’t! Don’t go in there right now.” Barbara gave him a horrified look.

“It’s my place.” And he was already running.

A/N: Okay, here we are. This is the second to last chapter, and I'm so sorry I made you all wait this long. I hope the ending lives up to everyone's hopes. I'm sorry to say that I lost my tag list, so I apologize to everyone who was on it. :'( Also, there is no difference between this version, the Wattpad, and the Ao3 versions for this chapter and the next.

[calpops]

forever | c.h.

A visit from you during tour and a stop inside a jewelry store put images in Calum’s head that harbor questions and set him into motion—but the distance his plans entails makes everything mended start to feel like it’s breaking again. One question has the power to bring everything back together with the hope of forever.

4.2k words

dates with cal masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).

<< >>

Sunrise on the other side of the world leaves you wide eyed in wonder; the soft pink glitters against water surrounding your hotel. Calum still sleeps, sheets dipped down to his waist as the warmth of a summer night settled into the room. The band is on tour and you flew out to surprise Calum for a visit; no longer wanting distance, the aches of being away from each other a reminder of a time you’d much rather forget. Ashton had helped coordinate the visit as a surprise and Calum welcomed you with shock and adoration in his eyes; arms wide and open for you to throw yourself into. It felt like coming home though you were far away from your house.

“Mornin, sweetheart,” Calum mumbles, morning voice raspy and low.

You turn back to him, abandon the sunrise in favor of him rising in bed, sheet pooled around his waist and sun kissed skin glowing in a morning glory. You smile, stalk over to the bed and settle back in at his side, head resting against his chest as his arms envelop and welcome you. You don’t want to waste a minute of time you have together; want to explore the city you’d never seen before, take in the sights and see a piece of Calum’s world created by music. But his hold is warm and his heartbeat is rhythmic and it doesn’t feel like wasted time to stay in his arms. Not after time without them.

“Do you have anything to do today?” You ask, bite your lip and hope he has time for you.

“Only showing you around, taking you out, showing you off,” he answers in a sly tone and sends shivers of excitement up your spine.

You had hidden your relationship with Calum from fans and media for as long as humanly possible. But a picture spoke words neither of you said and the world suddenly knew you and all that you are to him. Inhibitions and hiding ceased to exist. You could roam free now; show each other the world and show the world each other. You prop yourself up, hand melting into the mattress to maneuver so you can look into his eyes.

“Can we… go now?” You ask and Calum grins at the excitement you can’t hide or put away. He simply nods and it’s enough to get you to your feet and rushing around the hotel room. He’s a bit more leisurely in his pace, eyes watching you with admiration.

The day of exploring begins on the sidewalk just past the hotel. Breakfast is served outside, the sun shining and warm past a fall breeze, the food is delicious and filling. Your eyes scan the city you’d never been to before, take in the people and the sights of old stone buildings standing tall with ivy covering facades. Calum watches you instead of the world around you. He grins unknowingly when you point at things he’s seen before. He reaches for your hand when your eyes sparkle from the light of the sun and collides with the beauty of the day. When breakfast has come and gone you wander the streets, go into shops and stop to marvel at everything. An antique store brings wonders of time past and Calum keeps an arm around you as you stalk through the aisles. A park is a good resting place with benches by a fountain that sprays sparkling water, colorful autumn foliage donning the ground and falling from branches to swirl through the air.

“I wish we wouldn’t have to leave,” you admit as bliss hangs over you, Calum’s arm around your shoulders and his jacket wrapped around you as the day grows colder. “Except I already miss Duke.”

“Yeah?” Calum asks and feels it too. “And did you miss me before you got here?”

“As soon as you stepped out of the house,” you admit around a sigh and try to push down the ache that distance always seems to awaken.

Ever since your break it’s been harder to live with the uncertainties of Calum’s job. If he’ll be home at night or if the studio will tie him up until odd hours of the morning. If a weekend promo trip will turn into a week with added interviews. If your schedule will allow for a visit when he’s off touring the world without you. You’ve found ways to combat and jump those hurdles. Reading together at night. Cherishing every little moment you’re granted together; from making sure breakfast is together and not in a handheld rush out the door, to teasing him into getting in the bath fully clothed with you. But the start of the tour brought pangs of pain to your heart. Watching him walk out the door was reminiscent of watching him leave the house when it was all too much and your head and heart needed a break to find yourself.

“I missed you too,” Calum says and you hear the waver in his voice, the broken syllables punctuating the fractures that still exist and are on the mend. “Don’t think I’m gonna let you go back.”

His voice and the mood shifts as he teases you, holds you closer and tighter as if to make good on his words. You laugh and feel those aches start to ease as it feels a promise to stay in his arms. He doesn’t let go of you once you leave the park. Keeps you in his hold as you stroll the streets once more and duck into shops you haven’t yet seen. A jewelry store with stones and gold and silvers leaves you in awe. You scan necklaces and Calum finally looks past you, past the necklaces and bracelets and towards rings that lay under glass and spark thoughts and desires plainly through him.

He has pondered it before, has had dreams veiled with white and fences and a lifetime playing before his unconscious mind. He wants to drift over to the rings but stays with you, merely letting his gaze skirt to the display as you wander the shop and bypass symbols of commitment without a second glance. Diamonds dot the case, put promises in his mind, but leave something to be desired. They’re beautiful, finely cut, glimmering under the display lights and shining for all their price tags are worth. But they aren’t you. It's an opal inset to a silver, thin and looping band that truly takes his eye as you pass. He swallows down the thought and the words that seem to want to make an escape. It’s fleeting. Something to think on. And he will.

Rings and white veils and picket fences stay in his mind through your entire visit. He can’t see you without picturing one of the glimpses made of dreams. He can’t fathom a world of distance ever again—doesn’t want to say goodbye as your flight looms in the distance and the airport is packed with people departing their loved ones. He clings to you and you to him, a few more weeks of tour putting a wedge between you.

“Call me when you land?” Calum asks, needing to know you make it home safe. “And send pictures of you and Duke when you’re home?”

You smile and promise to do both. “I love you.”

He says it back in place of goodbye. Both of you unknowing of the others vow to keep goodbye off your lips. I love you was a much better last sentence to hear; a much better sentiment to hold onto during distance. Calum watches you walk away, watches your plane take off past sunset and knows you’ll be landing in time for another. Knows that he’ll get a voice memo of a chapter out of the book on the bedside table you read together at night when sleep isn’t happening for one or the other, sometimes both. He has his own copy with him, so he can send the same for you next time. Your departure leaves him with only his thoughts and time to sink into them. Rings flash before his eyes. A dream of the future lingers. Plans start forming in his mind and though they aren’t feasible in the moment and deserve more time and dedication to think over they stay with him until he’s back home to you.

His homecoming is all that you both could want. You and Duke and solace in the quiet and warm house. The moon accompanies him up the front steps and into your arms, the door flinging open the moment headlights light up the driveway. You had been waiting; wanted to pick him up at the airport but he insisted you stay safe at home and not have to brave the crowd of fans that might flock. You waited and waited on the edge of your seat, eyes out the window and Duke in your lap. As soon as his familiar hold settled around your waist and his cheek pressed to the top of your head you finally felt like you were home again, though you’d been back at the house for weeks.

A sense of normalcy and routine returns to you as you both settle back in post tour. Moments of bliss come back to you. The house feels like a home again. The break you both endured to find yourself feels long lost as days turn to weeks and everything feels right with each other. You wish it could stay like this forever; wish his homecoming was permanent and that tours and trips and time apart weren’t so demanding and often. You wish for something like forever.

Calum is consumed with images of rings that float through his mind as he comes back to you. He’s caught in a whirlwind of white and questions and future uncertainties. He knows all he has to do is ask, he knows that since the very first day he met you it was all building up to this. He needs to talk about it, to mention it and get the images in his mind into words and a plan. He can’t confide in you, needs it to be a surprise. He finds himself at Ashton’s, speaking his desires aloud for the first time since a dream woke him and prompted the words to fall from his tongue.

“You’re sure?” Ashton asks and it’s not said with doubt but with a need for certainty. “You’re really going to ask?”

Calum nods and in that moment it’s all solidified. “It’s been in my head for weeks. Maybe months. Is it stupid? Too soon after the break?”

Ashton shakes his head no quickly. “I’ve never seen you two so happy. As bad as that break was it was good for both of you, good for your relationship. You both know who you are now. Together and apart.”

Ashton grins and Calum shifts, still so caught up in his own mind. “How’re you gonna do it?”

“I have a plan. But I don’t have what I need yet,” Calum admits, the lack of a ring and reservation looming in his thoughts; disrupting the perfect picture he conjures up almost every time he looks at you.

“You know the answer will be yes. No matter how you do it,” Ashton reminds him and while Calum believes it he’s convinced you deserve a moment as special as you are.

His talk with Ashton sets him into motion. He goes in and out of jewelry stores, talks with consultants, makes reservations and finds his pocket empty. It’s the tenth store he’s gone into in half as many days when he decides he can’t do this on his own. He needs help, a woman’s taste and knowledge. He needs his sister and her wisdom. You stay oblivious to all that he’s done and stay happy to have him back, still reeling in reunion and all the moments made of bliss that they create.

It all gets rattled when Calum announces he needs to go to London—he squabbles to explain it to you, something about family and then the band and it’s convoluted and confusing—but you wait with hope and eager opportunity to be asked to go with him. When the words never fall from his mouth you shrink into silence and bid him a hasty goodbye. He leaves with Ashton, tells you he loves you and you watch him walk out the door without you. You can’t help but wonder why he didn’t ask you to go. If there was a need for distance settling into his mind and heart the way it once had yours. You agonize over it, let it keep you up at night and note the lack of his voice in your ear or through your phone speaker. The ritual of reading together crumbles and you remember a time when everything started to shatter.

Calum breezes through jewelry stores with Mali at his side; his sister commenting on his jovial steps and the grin that never seems to leave his face as rings flash before them. He tells her that he hasn’t been this happy in a long time and she assures him that she can tell. That she knows you’re the reason why. Ashton tags along a few times, makes comments about the things that catch Calum’s eye.

“That’s not a diamond,” he says when Calum gravitates towards another opal ring.

“No,” he agrees and peers down through the glass anyway. “But this has the colors of both our birthstones,” he notes and points at the swirls of garnet for January and the color of your birth month colliding across a smooth and white opal. The band is silver and thin but it loops into an infinity symbol, just like the one he saw that put the notion of marriage back into his mind. “What do you think, Mali?”

His sister scurries over from the other end of the counter and peers down at the ring. Ashton stays quiet—seemingly for once—as Mali inspects it.

She looks up at her brother and warms, brown eyes scrunching as she smiles and nods. “It’s perfect. It’d never be a no, but how could anyone say no to that?”

“Let’s hope,” Calum says under his breath though he agrees with Mali. He knows in his heart that this is the right one and you are the right person. He calls over an employee and leaves the store with your ring in a deep red velvet box, a secret until the perfect moment came along.

You turn pages of the novel Calum gave you on a rainy night and wonder where he is. Calls since he left for London a few days ago have been scarce and it leaves you worried. You had taken time away, needed to step back, the distance imposed thoughts that maybe Calum now needed that too. You gripe over it as you toss and turn through restless nights. His homecoming does little to put your mind at ease. He’s receptive to the welcome, his arms still feel like home and you hold onto hope that all will go back to normal now that he’s back. But the distance stays present. He works late nights at the studio; is too tired for reading or talking or anything by the time he crawls back into bed with you.

Mornings are quiet. What would usually be a breakfast filled with laughter and teasing, feeding each other and trying to spend every last second together before you headed out the door are now somber affairs. Calum doesn’t say much, has a nervous energy that fills the kitchen and sinks into your gut. It puts you on edge but you say nothing; too scared to know what’s going through his mind. You can’t gauge his reactions to anything anymore. He stays stoic yet hardwired and nervous. There’s fleeting but present worry and doubt invading your mind and heart as time ticks on and nothing changes—nothing goes back to the way it was—everything changes. You mention it to your friends and they try to calm your doubts and fears but it does little to quell all that is building broken walls around your heart.

Calum knows he’s acting strange; that the weight of your ring he carries in his pocket as you’d find it hidden anywhere in the house has started to wear him down. His thoughts are tangled and planning the proposal comes with late nights away from you. He doesn’t enjoy those nights, knows that when he finally gets home there’s a cut of disappointment in your words and heartache in your eyes when he says he’s too tired to read or talk or do much of anything. But he’s running thin; between the band, the proposal and life at large he comes home empty. He hopes, as he puts some finishing touches on his plan with Ashton, that it will all make up for it in the end.

He has an entire day and night planned. It starts inconspicuous, a small trip to the coast where he hopes you think you’ll be spending another day in the sand and waves as is usual for day trips. But there will be more, a venue with soft lighting and music, petals of your favorite flowers scattered on the floor, your favorite food, the ring and his knee meeting flowers as he keeps to tradition and hopes you’ll say yes. His plan gets stalled when he comes home and you’re silent—the first night since he’s been home that you don’t ask about his day, offer to read or even greet him with a hello. A lump forms in the back of his throat and his chest heats with uncertainty as he realizes you’re not happy.

“Sweetheart,” he says to try and catch your attention, to try to get you to look at him.

You’re sat on the edge of the couch and it brings back memories of the talk that led to fractures and a break. You don’t say anything in response to his term of endearment for you. You don’t smile and your eyes don’t shine with happiness at his voice the way they usually do. A taut frown pulls at your lips and your eyes glisten as you fight back tears. He goes to you but stops when you stiffen.

“What’s wrong?” Calum asks, again trying to get you to talk.

“Do you need a break? Do you not want to be with me anymore?” You finally spit out and it sends Calum into a wave of shock. His heart rate picks up but he can’t feel it beating against his chest. “You gave me time if you need it I’ll do that for you but please don’t just drift away from me. If you need space I’ll go—I have some bags packed already—you need to talk to me. We can work it out. Or… or if we can’t—if you don’t want me to come back; if you don’t want me”—Calum cuts you off with a shake of his head and that final step towards you.

You’re in tears by the time he reaches you. He doesn’t know why, he can’t stop it, but he laughs as he pulls you up from the couch and into his arms. Your explanation is a bittersweet relief to his ears; your tears and panic and explanation your own mind concocted for the distance tugs at his heart and hurts but your resilience and wanting to work things out keeps him going strong. His laughter dies down as you pull away from him and balk—a broken breath leaving you as you shake your head and your lip quivers.

“Are you seeing someone else? Is that it?” You ask, a new panic overriding the sadness that rips at you.

Calum laughs again and shakes his head ‘no’. He scrambles, trying to think on his feet and offer an explanation to smooth out all the damage that’s been done.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you plead and it breaks apart the hysteria that led to the laughter in the first place.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to laugh with you forever,” he says, hoping it would help to quell your newfound fears. He tries for subtlety, a notion of forever trying to ensure he’s not leaving, he doesn’t want you to leave—wants to stay with you for the rest of his life.

You squabble on, still caught up in anxiety and Calum tries to explain himself without revealing the ring still in his pocket or the plans he had hoped would be fulfilled by this time tomorrow. He talks in circles and none of it is convincing enough to calm you down.

“Sweetheart, please just trust me,” he begins after finally having gotten you back down on the couch.

“What am I to trust when you won’t tell me anything? You don’t even talk to me anymore…”

Calum feels a slice of guilt cut through him at your words. He knows it’s true. His silence has been heavy, his plans needing time, time needing silence. Every night he comes home he has to bite his tongue to make sure he doesn’t pop the question at eleven at night on the bedroom floor, every morning you wake he has to push down words so he doesn’t ask for forever in the kitchen. He knows you’d say yes in either scenario but a question with the waves and sunset and flowers spilled all around is more worthy. But he’s not sure you’ll make it to see the waves and sunset and heard his question tomorrow; he fears you’ll walk out the door under moonlight and distance will come back in broken shards of silence and miscommunication.

“Alright,” Calum says slowly, conceding to the fact his knee will hit the living room floor and the opal will shine under stars and not the sun. He can only hope that your answer will be the same with tears of frustration and sadness in your eyes rather than happiness and shock. “I have to ask you something. It was supposed to be so much more than this.”

He sees the confusion sweep through your eyes at his whispered words said in a timid voice. His hand reaches into his pants pocket and his fingers find velvet, the smooth feel he was now accustomed to helping to ease the nerves. He can’t count how many times he had reached into his pocket and felt the box, how many times he had to stop himself from bringing it out and asking you in the dead of the night. He does that now. Watches confusion turn to shock, sees the tears in your eyes spill over and drip down your cheeks as he slowly gets to one knee, a velvet box popped open and your eyes blown wide.

“I’ve been planning this out for weeks, ever since we went to that jewelry store and I couldn’t get the picture of you wearing a ring out of my head. It was like that dream but every moment I was awake. I flew off to London so Mali could help me pick a ring. I came back and avoided you so I could plan everything. This was supposed to happen with flowers and music and an ocean sunset behind us. But that doesn’t matter. All that matters is your answer.”

Calum takes in a deep breath as he lets his gaze linger on you; commits your image in that moment to his memory as it dramatically and quickly shifts from breaking pieces to heart on your sleeve, in your eyes, in the way you reach for him and nod minutely without the question even being asked yet.

“Marry me? I want nothing more than to spend the rest of our lives together. I want you; forever.”

You fall to your knees, eyes not even looking at the ring but staying steady on Calum as you close all the distance that lingered since a shattering break. He wraps his arms around you, velvet box dropping to the couch in favor of holding you. He feels you nod against him, hears and feels the small whisper of yes against his skin and holds you closer when a small sob wracks your body. He pulls away, just enough to see your face and wipe the fallen tears from your cheeks.

“I’m sorry it happened like this,” Calum said but you shook your head and his fears away. “We can still go tomorrow. To make up for tonight.”

You nod and finally cut a gaze at the ring discarded on the couch cushions. Calum reaches for it but you don’t offer him your hand when he brings it back.

“I’m sorry I ruined your plan,” you say, voice hoarse and tired. Your hand envelops his hand that holds the ring. “We can save that for tomorrow, but know that my answer is yes today and tomorrow and forever.”

<< >>

If you’d like to be added to my tag list just let me know!

***

This one is all because of @outerspaceisbetterthannothing messages (put here at the end so as not to give any spoilers) 🖤

Okay, getting back to dates with cal. Let's move several months forward. Boys are on tour, final leg somewhere in europe and the reader flew out to finish it with them. So they with cal explore some city, she's excited practically about everything cause it's her first time in europe. Cal laughs at how she gets happy over grey buildings or pigeons or sth. And that moment the idea hits him unexpectedly. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He doesn't say, just thinks it through for now

Okay,getting back to dates with Cal. They’re back home after tour,some weeks pass and Cal is really wrapped up in this idea about asking his girl to marry him and even confides in Ashton,who’s beyond happy for his friend. He wants to go ring shopping,but in the very first shop he realises he can’t do that without Mali. So he packs and leaves for London with Ash under some ass stupid excuse,as she’s left home wondering what she did wrong that he left so abruptly and didn’t ask her to go with him

Cal’s having the softest time in UK with Mali, finds the perfect ring and gets home, where she feels him being distant. But he’s only distant because he’s afraid to spill the beans unintentionally. So it’s a lot of late night coming home and not talking because too tired, which makes her upset. They with Ash prepare the perfect proposal and Cal tells that they need to hurry as she obv feels sth’s up. Meanwhile she’s talking to her friends about him and works herself up over all of it.

So one night when Cal comes home late and tired, she calls him out with sth like ‘are you gonna break up with me?’ And Cal so shook he doesn’t answer straight away so she goes with how she’s tired to wait for him to pick up his courage and already packed, so he can just easily do it rn, it won’t take long for her to leave. Asks him if he’s seeing someone else. And Cal laughs nervously, cause he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but she thinks he’s cheating on her.

But this snort of his only proves everything to her and she asks not to laugh at her at least. And Cal goes with ‘i’m gonna laugh at you for the rest of our lives’. And he tries to work his way out of this somehow, cause he doesn’t want to propose on his own kitchen floor. Tells she’s gonna regret that for the rest of her life. But she’s so persistent, so proposing on his kitchen floor is exactly what he’s eventually doing. ‘You’re my one and only, silly’

Tagged: @rosecolouredash @irwinkitten @golden-hood @who-do-you-love-5sos @caswinchester2000 @wildflowergrae @empathycth @cuddlemecalx @malumsmermaid @babylon-corgis @outerspaceisbetterthannothing @mariellelovescupcakes @xhaileyreneex @goth5sos @gosh-im-short @feliznavidaddycal @loveroflrh @findingliam-o @flowerthug @g-l-pierce @talkfastromance4 @cashtonasfuck @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer @wastedheartcth @calumscalm @notinthesameguey @lukesfuckingbeard @myloverboyash @treatallwithkindness @haikucal @wiildflower-xxx @calum-uncrowned @egyptiangoldhood @drarryetcetera @another-lonely-heart @megz1985 @idk-harry @dinosaursandsocks @wildflower-cth @idontneedanyone @everyscarisahealingplace @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505 @karajaynetoday @333-xx @calumshpod @calumsphile @calumrose @justhereforcalum @grreatgoog @calumance @mantlereid @hemmingslftv

[votederpycausemufins]

Well, I realized that the hermits I had left fit into a rainbow so now I’m doing that. Red, orange, yellow, lime, green, and brown as a treat.

au by @hermitcraftheadcanons and tagging @helleborusangel as always because 💖!

Welsknight jumped to another crimson tree, clinging to what was there instead of leaves. Any time he felt like he was about to fall, he was given a push in the right direction by the hoglins below waiting for him to fall. As if he hadn’t already fallen plenty.

He really needed to take the wart blocks he was tearing up and make himself a safe path. But the nether wasn’t really safe enough for him to get a chance to do that. At the very least he had a full set of wood tools in a chest. Said chest was still further ahead, but it was also the safest area he had right now.

Wels heard the familiar sound of a ghast crying out trying to find him. He immediately tore up some of the wart blocks from the tree he was on to give himself some cover. As he waited for the ghast to fly away, he worked at some of the hyphae. The knight made sure not to get too close to the ground in case a hoglin tried to knock him off. Getting back up involved turning some of the stem into planks to tower back up to the treetops, but he still had plenty of wood for crafting anything he would need.

Once he got things set up, he would start scouting out for a fortress or deltas to get better gear. He was also thinking of setting up an area to attack Ziglins from to get some gold nuggets so he could eventually trade with piglins for some desperately needed gear. But for now, all he had were the trees or giant mushrooms or whatever these were.

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Cub whacked away another stray cave spider that found him. It had been, what, four days at this point? And he still hadn’t found this second spawner in this mesa. It also didn’t help that he was starting to hear things. It was just little whispers, quiet enough he couldn’t tell what was being said, but just the fact that they existed, or at least theoretically existed was enough to put him on edge.

He munched on a bit of beef he had gotten from some cows roaming just outside the mineshaft exits. Compared to how bad it looked like some of the other Hermits had it, Cub was doing well. Sure, his health was low due to the spiders attacking him, but he hadn’t gotten too badly poisoned. Then he had a good amount of food and the cobwebs gave him plenty of string for beds, which was thankfully able to let him change his main spawn.

It was getting closer and closer to the point Cub was thinking about trying to head towards what he hoped would be spawn. For all he knew, absolutely no one was actually at spawn and when he finally reached there, there would be nothing. That being said, if there was absolutely no one there, he could start setting up. He had full iron gear, a number of diamonds, plenty of food and other supplies, and of course, lots of wool for beds.

Cub killed another spider before it could bite him, but wondered if that was really the best idea. No matter what happened, he couldn’t manage to heal himself at all unless it was through respawning.Theoretically he could start towards spawn at three and a half hearts, but it wasn’t really the wisest decision. So for now, he would just prep as much as he could before he respawned again.

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XB fanned himself with a hand. Even underground in the cave it was still pretty hot from the desert outside. He could theoretically go further down, but his resources were severely limited due to having no wood. XB had a little luck with getting creepers to explode near coal, so he at the very least had torches, but it wasn’t very many. There was also the fact that every time he died, he ended up back in the middle of the desert and had to trek back to the cave.

A few respawns here and there, XB had considered trying to escape the desert and find a slightly better biome, one with trees or wood or something to help him. But most of them ended up with him dying before he could even spot the edge of a biome, so his one cave of safety was the best he had right now.

Still, even then, there were a few times XB faced the hot sand, and not to find an escape for himself. In one of his attempts to escape, he had come across someone else. At first, he had some sort of hope that he had been found and might get a way out. But that changed when he watched the person collapse. XB ran over to the other person and recognized Iskall through the sand that clung to their body from sweat. Neither of them had anything currently on their person, so all they could do was stay by the other until one of them, likely Iskall, died of dehydration.

XB was able to tell Iskall that he had a cave for them to stay in if they could make it back in this direction and go a bit further. Iskall nodded and asked if XB had made the tower of sand, to which the answer was no. XB took out his comm to check the death messages and see if anyone else was dealing with dehydration deaths. Scrolling up, he couldn’t spot any, but if he hadn’t made that tower and Iskall hadn’t, there had to be someone who made it.

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Hypno continued to follow a bee that had been pollinating flowers around him. For being stuck in a lush, green, flower forest, there weren’t really many trees around. But he knew that bees went to nests, and nests were connected to trees. At this point, he just needed to find one. He could get a sapling from the leaves and grow more and then he would be set. Well, he would need to find his way back to his spawn again, since his comm wasn’t giving him any sort of coordinates. Though, that was probably because it was filled with pollen, and every time he shook it even a little, yellow powder would come out of it.

He looked back to the bee and was glad it hadn’t flown too far out of his sight. There was just one tiny problem. It didn’t have any pollen on it anymore. Hypno looked around, hoping to see a nest and tree nearby, but there was nothing. Just flowers, flowers, moving flowers and more flowers. Wait, moving flowers?

Hypno snapped his head back to look at the moving flowers. They looked to be just on the other side of a hill and weren’t swaying in the breeze or anything, but actually moving like they were walking along. He started walking toward the flowers, climbing up the hill, and then he stopped. The flowers were on the back of a cow that should not have been there. He knew that mooblooms weren’t really supposed to be around yet. Something about the gods waiting or something. But no, here it was, right in front of him.

Hypno didn’t have a sword or even a stick, but he didn’t really have many options for food, so he rushed towards the animal to get some sort of actual food other than just chewing on dandelions when he was desperate. Besides, if there was one cow, there would probably be more, so he wasn’t too upset about getting one of them killed.

Before Hypno fully reached the cow, he watched as it noticed him and stopped moving, almost like it was curious about what he was doing. It made him feel just a little regretful about what he was going to do, but right now, survival was more important than guilt. He heard the cow give a moo, and he was ready to hear if any others responded. After a moment, there was a single moo in reply, but it was much younger and right in front of him. And then Hypno realized he was about to run into a calf.

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Cleo kicked the door of the house she had been trapped in. It was a bit therapeutic, but it didn’t really help her frustration, especially since she could easily look out the door and see the iron golem staring her down. So what if she were green from being a zombie? She wasn’t going to go around killing villagers all willy nilly.

At the very least, she got very lucky with the house she claimed as it had a chest, crafting bench and bed all in one, so she had basic resources. But she also had an emerald from the chest which the villagers were very upset that she had ‘stolen’. Cleo tried to explain that they could have it back, but none of them really wanted to listen to a zombie. Especially not one living in their village.

So Cleo kicked at the door again, this time along with a punch. It felt right and therapeutic in a sense. Maybe it was a zombie thing, they were always breaking doors. But that made Cleo pause. If she really wanted to get the village to trust her, breaking down a door was not the way to do that.

Looking out the window, it looked like the sun was setting. Soon would be the sweet spot where she could get out of the house and grab supplies while the villagers were all inside and it wasn’t quite dark enough for things to be spawning. The iron golem also went on patrol at that time, so he wasn’t at her one exit blocking her off. Once she had enough wood for ladders and a pickaxe, she’d start digging down to make herself a mine and a way out of the place, but for now, it was just sneaking in and out through the front door.

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Beef’s gathering up more dirt. He and Joe have found a few more areas which could be patched up. Normally they wouldn’t be too concerned with keeping things neat and completely safe, but with the current situation everyone was in, safety was a big priority. Joe was likely working on more tree farming or gathering stone, then the two of them would meet back up as the sun was setting.

Spawn had been lit up pretty well, so nothing was spawning much nearby. Because of that, the two of them worked on building places for people to stay, some sorted storage to help people get gear, and finally near the end of the night they would take a nap so that phantoms would stay away the following night. Technically they could skip a night here or there, but making it a habit was a better thing to do.

He tries not to get distracted by the death messages in chat, but it’s a little hard. Ever since Etho died and didn’t show up again, Beef had been on edge, worried about him and Joe dying and suddenly being elsewhere. For all he knew, the three of them were supposed to be spawning elsewhere from this mess, but they had shown up before whatever was causing this activated and their deaths would change that.

And speaking of that, he glanced as his comm buzzed with another message. He looked, expecting it to be a death from Impulse, TFCl or Xisuma, who were having frequent deaths, but instead his heart sank when he saw Joe’s name.

Beef immediately stopped digging, leaving some dirt behind as he ran back to spawn. He needed to know if Joe was really gone too. And if he was, Beef needed to come up with a new plan for setting things up. But he really really hoped that maybe, somehow, Joe was still there.

As spawn came into view, Beef scanned the landscape for Joe. Every second he didn’t see the hermit, he lost more hope, but then finally he spotted movement. “Oh Joe, thank void you’re okay.”

“Yeah, thought I was gonna be in a heap of trouble for a couple of seconds there, but looks like I just respawned in bed. I’m sure as long as we got our beds in a nice safe place, we don’t need to worry too much about dying and ending up somewhere else.”

“That’s a relief. Going to collect what you dropped?” Beef asked, and Joe nodded.

“Yeah. And I think tonight we might want to move our beds a bit.”

Beef tilted his head slightly. “Why’s that.”

Joe didn’t answer immediately, just staring towards exact zero zero. “Just got a feelin’ about it. Like it’s a disaster waitin’ to happen. I know it’s not much to go on, but-”

Beef just stops Joe. “No, a feeling like that is fine. Right now we really need to listen to little feelings like that with everything going on.”

Joe nods and then heads off to gather the supplies he dropped. Beef stores his dirt in some chests and then grabs his bed, moving it to a different building before tucking himself in and making sure he’s linked to it for respawning. When Joe gets back, he can do the same, and then they can get to building now that the sun is setting.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

For the Best (Marcus Volturi x Reader)

WARNING: dark themes!

"No.” You grumbled in protest. “I’m tired.” Marcus chuckled. “I know, my sweet but it’s just for a little while.” Marcus’ fingers ran up and down your spine soothingly with a soft smile.  “I’ve been doing this for a week!”  “It’ll only be an hour.” Marcus responded and you huffed in defeat.  “Fine!” You sighed moving towards Aro and Caius. 

You had a gift similar to Aro’s and there had been much discussion as to whether they wanted to help grow it. Finally Aro’s curiosity seemed to overpower Marcus’ reluctance. Yourself and Caius were rather indifferent about your gift. You were content with the brief glimpses of memories that you’d have. Unlike Aro, you didn’t need physical contact, only eye contact. Aro could see everything in a persons life but you could only see random memories. It was exhausting and tedious. Although there was always light hearted moments to witness. 

When practicing with the guard, you saw through Jane’s eyes, witnessing the day she tossed a book at Felix’s head. You made your way through them all one by one, day by day, a random memory for your eyes only. Despite your exhaustion, your gift was clearly growing. Snippets of visions and inklings of what had happened had turned into scenes like in a movie. They were growing longer and more meaningful. 

Looking into Caius’ memories was uplifting, surprisingly so. You were met with Caius and Athenodora arm in arm, smiling adoringly at one another in the gardens. The sunlight dancing across their skin, erupting in diamonds. You returned to the present with a smile on your face. 

However, you wanted to stop after one incident. You went far in Alec’s head, further than you had before and into a very early memory. Alec and Jane whispering in hushed voices about their new lives as vampires and their difficulty trusting Aro. The twins promised one another that they’d never be apart. No matter what it was always be them, always and forever. After that you had wanted to stop. You had suddenly realised that you wouldn’t just see the good in people’s lives, you’d see the bad. It had taken a lot of convincing and finally you were willing to try again...after Marcus’ prompting. 

As always you were met surrounded by Caius, Aro, the twins and Felix. You rolled your shoulders. “Who first?” You asked.  “Why don’t you try on Felix?” Aro tilted his head. It made sense, the younger the vampire, the easier and Felix was younger than the others. You offered Felix a smile and he nodded, permitting you. You looked into his eyes. After a brief moment of concentration, you were in the throne room. It was apparent you had went back into the at least 1700s, judging by Demetri’s clothing as well as what you could see of Felix’s. The two had a solid grip of a vampire you didn’t know, a man with dark brown longer hair. His eyes glazed over as though not present despite his body being there. Aro smiled down at the man before placing his hands on either side of his head. Nothing was said yet as soon as Aro pulled the mans head off, Felix and Demetri ripped off his arms barely a second later. You staggered back slightly, returning to present day.  “Delightful.” You mumbled, wincing at the scene still very clear in our memory- much to your dismay.  “Are you alright?” Caius asked in a monotone voice. You nodded and hummed. “It’s different than before, much more context.”  “It’s adapting.” Aro’s eyes lit up with glee. You didn’t have the same enthusiasm.  “Now, Jane.” he grinned, eager. You straightened up taking a deep breath. The exhaustion already hitting you.  You concentrated on Jane and slipped into her mind. There was fire everywhere, a village in ruins before her. Barely two feet before her, stood a little boy, blonde hair and bright red eyes. Jane tutted, wagging her finger at the boy before lifting him into her arms and onto her hip. Within a second a blonde woman with the same red eyes, clearly destressed in dated clothing runs out, crying out in terror and reaching out for the boy. Suddenly she fell to her knees in agony. Aro and Caius leaned in to one another, speaking lowly.  “This one is longer than the previous ones.” Caius noted and Aro grinned. “Yes. A sure sign of improvement.”  “Jane? Are you still alright?” Aro asked.  “Yes.” She said passively. “I don't know what they’re seeing.”  “How fascinating!” Aro’s eyes gleamed.  Suddenly your breathing changed, as though something made you panic. However, you didn’t break eye contact. 

You gasped, recoiling and breaking out of the vision.  “I-She- the boy-” You panted.”I don’t want to do this anymore.” You looked frightened but Aro couldn’t stop here and Caius was in agreement.  “(Y/N), this is the furthest you’ve ever gone and like it or not, improving your gift means to go beyond your comfort zone.” Caius said.  “Why did he...? Marcus?” You rambled.  “It’s in the past!” Caius said sharply.  “Now me, my dear.” Aro grinned almost manically.  Your eyes flickered up to his, as you shook slightly. You had no idea how much time had passed doing this but you felt exhausted and weren’t sure you’d be break through to Aro’s mind. 

As soon as you were in, you knew you had done too much. The rooms were the same but the interior was not. You were walking into a bedroom where a woman with dark hair sat, her back to you, although her red eyes caught a glimpse of you in her reflection. She brushed her hair, eyes glued to the vanity mirror. “Brother.” She acknowledged, continuing to brush her hair despite there definitely not being a tug on the section of hair she was working on. She wasn’t familiar but you quickly remembered you were in Aro’s head. You would have felt your stomach drop if you could. This was Marcus’ mate who had died. This was Didyme, Aro’s sister. Aro’s greeting was sickeningly sweet as it always had been, a false pleasantry in your eyes. Perhaps this would be a nice or meaningless memory. You could do with one of those after Jane’s memory. Aro’s ran his fingers through the ends of Didyme’s hair. “Might i speak with you, dear sister?” “Is this about Marcus and I’s departure?” She smiled at him. You grew wary, was this Aro’s last memory with his sister before she was killed.  You couldn’t escape the consequences of that day, even if you hadn't been born until many centuries later. It still impacted Marcus to this day. Marcus had always insisted that now that you were around, he felt more alive than he had in years. He hadn't felt that since Didyme died.  Now you felt like you were intruding on a precious moment between brother and sister. One of the final memories he’d ever have with his sister.  “It will only take a moment.” Aro smiled back. 

You were very still, the vampires watching over you as minutes past by. You were completely expressionless and the two leaders were intrigued to notice that this one was much longer. Your breathing picked up ever so lightly but nothing seemed to happen. The twins cast a glance at one another, neither able to decipher what you could be seeing. Suddenly, your eyes widened at your head jolted back as though you were trying to pull away from something. After another second you jolted back again. The movements were new and violent but only your eyes were showing complete terror. However the present Volturi weren’t sure what to do. 

Just before Aro moved to reach out to you, you let out a very loud scream, staggering back and covering your face.  “What did you see?” Felix asked in confusion as Demetri asked if you were alright. You weren’t even sure when Demetri had arrived. 

Your hands were trembling. You knew you’d have to say anything to keep their curiosity sated. You needed a lie and you needed it fast.  “I-I saw...a battle.” You said hurriedly. “The-I recognised two. I think it was the Romanians? I tried to get out! I couldn’t get out!” You cried out.  “Ah, our battle with the Romanians.” Aro nodded. “A brutal one indeed.” 

You felt like you were going to be sick. The truth was worse. You had seen something you were never supposed to see. / You watched as Aro killed his sister and he and Caius got rid of Didyme’s body, vowing no one could know about it. Finally you had been able to break free from the vision with a scream. This had been the worst betrayal you had ever seen. After all this time, they had watched as Marcus suffered. They said nothing as they watched Marcus slowly succumb to grief and they were even the reason why. That was when you realised you had to tell him. You couldn’t keep this a secret. He had to know the truth. 

“I think that will be enough for today.” Aro said tearing his gaze from you towards the other Volturi. “Alec, Jane, why don’t you take (Y/N) back to Marcus? They’ve had a difficult session today.” With a gentle touch, Jane and Alec took a hold of your arm, lightly guiding you out the room. As soon as you saw Marcus, you quickly moved your arms out of the twins grip and ran to him. You held him tightly and Marcus was immediately concerned.  “What’s wrong?” Marcus said immediately worried. Marcus tried to gently pull you off of him to see your face clearly but you wouldn’t let him, blocking his view with a lump forming in your throat. He looked to the twins for an explanation.  “I’ll tell him!” You cried out before the twins could say anything. Marcus looked between you and the twins before dismissing them. 

“You’re worrying me, sweetheart. What happened?” Marcus asked.  “I-I need to tell you. I just...” You trailed off. “Oh hell, how do I say this?” You whispered, eyes wide. How could you break the news to Marcus? This would without a doubt, shatter him. He spent centuries of his existence, barely surviving the loss of Didyme. All this time he had thought it could have been the Romanians, never really knowing who in the end. Never would he have thought that his own brother in law was the culprit and now you had to be the one to let out the centuries old secret. You had to be the one who would destroy everything...and you weren’t ready. “Say what? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Marcus looked at you with worry, taking your hands in his. You could only feel more guilt. He trusted you with his emotions, with his everything and now you’d have to knowingly break his heart all over again. You didn’t even get to avoid it by not telling him.You’d break his heart if you didn’t tell him. 

You suddenly felt a tear run down your cheek and a lump in your throat.  “My love...” Marcus pulled you closer to him, even more concerned his eyes searching yours for a reason that had gotten you so upset.  “I love you.” You said finally. “I love you so much more than I could ever describe and that's why I need to tell you something. I am so so sorry, I didn't waste any time when I found out but I am still so so sorry that i’m the one who has to tell you.” Your voice quivered. 

You guided him to sit on the marble bench and he quickly pulled you to sit beside him.  “You can tell me anything.” Marcus said quietly and the look in his eyes told you that he was being sincere.  “There’s a chance you might never look at me the same again.” You whispered.  “Tell me.” Marcus said quietly.  “You know about my gift? About practicing it?” Your voice continued to tremble.  “Yes.” Marcus nodded.  “Something happened. I went too far. I don’t know how i did it. I...” Your heart began to race as you began to panic and Marcus was quick to settle you.  “It’s alright. Take a deep breath. Did you get hurt?” You shook your head. “Marcus...i saw in Aro’s head and I saw everyone. You were dressed different but i recognised everyone, everyone but one.”  “A memory of Aro’s perhaps?” You nodded. “I’m sure of it but... what I saw. Marcus i shouldn't have seen it.”  “Aro has a dark past, we all do.”  “No, Marcus, this is worse!” You shook violently. 

Marcus was quiet before he slowly nodded squeezing your hands gently. “I didn’t know who she was. I hadn’t seen her before but the longer i was in there I realised who she was. I saw her with you.” You began to cry.  “Who?”  “Didyme.” You whispered. Marcus looked slightly surprised before nodding, despite his evident unease. “If that’s the case then you went quite far, my dear.”  “I’m just going to come out and say it.” You’re voice quivered another tear running down your face. “I saw Didyme die. I was there, I apologised and I-I pulled her head off! C-Caius helped me get rid of the body and i was so scared! I couldn’t stop myself!” Marcus began to pull away slightly, evidently in pain by the detail alone.  “But it wasnt me!” You sobbed. “I remembered that I was in Aro’s head, watching his memory and it hit me that he...it was him.” Sobs escaped you. “Im so sorry, Marcus! Please, please believe me!” Marcus shook his head. “No...no, you misunderstood. You-You’re still learning, mistakes can be made.”  “No!” You said hurriedly. “Marcus, I know what i saw! You have to believe me! Aro killed her! I saw it!”  “No, he wouldn’t. Didyme was his sister, he- he gave us his blessing, you had to have gotten it wrong. It was an intruder most likely, even Caius and Aro put their mates in the tower, to protect them. Why would-?”  “Why wouldn’t they!?” You cried out. “Aro can’t lie to himself! He-He wanted to keep you in the Volturi and figured he couldn’t with Didyme still alive!” 

Marcus stood up sharply. “No...you’re wrong. You have to be.” Marcus covered his nose and mouth in shock, turning away from you. You carried on weakly. “He got Chelsea...t-to keep you here and Corin-”  “Corin was being kind with her ability and i refused it.” Marcus said quickly.  “Marcus, you know i wouldn’t lie to you. I know what I saw!”  “Ah, I knew you had seen something you shouldn’t have.” A difference voice interrupted.

You jumped out of your seat finding Aro and Caius in the doorway, looking at you.  “I suppose it shows the improvement in their power.” Caius said nonchalantly, his eyes narrowing on you. Marcus was silent and still, his back still towards you.  “Marcus, do you believe me now!?” Your voice quivered. “I know what I saw! I know what he did!” You pointed toward Aro. “Caius helped!” You cried out. Finally Marcus turned, to look at you in despair. His eyes pitch black.  “You weren’t supposed to find out like this.” Marcus said. You felt the blood drain from your face.  “They weren’t supposed to find out at all.” Caius rolled his eyes. Marcus growled at Caius, glaring at him. “What?” You asked, beginning to shake with fear. “What are you talking about?” Your eyes widened at Marcus’ words.  “I know what happened to Didyme.” Marcus said. Caius smirked. “He knows what happened to Didyme and he was an accomplice, little human.” Caius seemed to actually enjoy your reaction whilst Aro, wore a smaller smirk with a predatory gaze.  Your eyes shifted to Marcus and suddenly you pin pointed his despair. It was for you. You took a step back. “You said no one knew.”  It was directed towards all three and any other Volturi that could hear you. 

They all said it was a mystery. So much so even other covens thought it to be a mystery. Before your very eyes, you could see it was a cover up, orchestrated by these three men, one of which was the love of your life.  “Everyone knew?” You whispered.  “Everyone important knew.” Caius smiled sadistically.  “Other than our mates, they can never know.” Aro added. 

Slowly you looked at Marcus. “What did you do?” You asked quietly.  “Yes, what did you do, brother?” Caius grinned earning another louder growl from Marcus.  “Caius, stop talking!” Marcus snapped.  “What did you do!?” You said loudly. You didn’t want the answer but you had to know. It was like a car accident, you wanted to look away but could do nothing but stare. You needed to know everything.  “We burned the body.” Marcus said after swallowing. You took a step back. “It was a lie.” You said breathlessly. “Everything, you...you did nothing but lie. This...this is what you’re capable of? The vampire world fear the Volturi but they don’t even know half of what you three are capable of. She loved you and you...tricked her. None of it was real and then I...” You immediately bent down to the floor, nausea hitting you. You were almost certain you were going to throw up. He had pretended with her and he was pretending with you now. Marcus’ eyes narrowed, looking angry almost immediately. “You’re wrong!” He yelled, startling you. “I loved Didyme! My love for her was never a lie! She wanted to leave everything we built behind! I couldn’t do that! Not after everything we had done! This is what we wanted! Didyme’s loyalty wasn’t with the Volturi! There was no other way, she’d have been killed as soon as she was out the door!”  “So the best option was to kill her yourself!?” You sobbed. “Kill her before someone else did?”  “I didn’t want this. I couldn’t witness what was going to happen and I didn’t want to live after she died!” You slowly rose to a stand, unable to look at the trio.  “Then I met you.” His tone soften suddenly and panic surged through you. What had this meant for you? Suddenly you and Didyme had something in common, Marcus’ love was not going to save you.  “Which is sad, I had hoped you’d mend our dear brothers broken heart, and you almost did. Perhaps with more time you could have.” Aro pondered. “I’m afraid you don’t have anymore time, my dear.” You began to fully cry, your suspicions confirmed.  “The secret must stay a secret.” Caius agreed.  “No!” Marcus suddenly said taking a step between you and his brothers.  “Brother, gather the guard.” Aro said lowly to Caius who wasted no time. “Explain yourself.” Aro pressed Marcus. ”It’s not too late for them.” Marcus turned to look at you over his shoulder. “What if they stay?”  “What?” You asked dumbfounded, your voice still shaking, now in complete fear.  “Stay with me.Stay with us. I don't want to lose you. Perhaps i don't have to if you never speak a word of this and you stay with me.” “How could you ask of me something like that?” You said in disbelief. “For all i know, I could end up like Didyme! You said it yourself, if you really loved her, then what does that mean for me!?”  “What?” Marcus looked at you in confusion.  “She was your world, your everything, even now, you supposedly are affected by her death and you could have stopped it. You don’t love me like that. You’ve proven it. I-I knew for twenty minutes and i spent those minutes getting to you to tell you because i couldn’t bare keeping that from you. I was there, I gave my all to you...and you weren’t even honest from the beginning.”  “To keep you safe and happy. I protected you from the truth even when you begged me to believe you, I tried to tell you that you must have been mistaken. Perhaps it wasn't too late because it was evident that you hadn't seen far enough to even know I was there! I did that for you because i know what it’s like living with it! I loved Didyme just as I love you!” Marcus snapped. “I’m trying to give you a way out of that and...” Marcus trailed off with a look of sudden realisation. “...how could I expect you to take it?” His eyes ran up and down your body. “Look at you, you’re falling apart. The very thing I had feared. I never wanted you to feel this way.” Slowly Marcus nodded, oddly calm. “So i’ll help you.” Marcus turned to Aro. “Send Chelsea.”  “Brother?” Aro turned to look at Marcus.  “Send for her. Now.”  “Brother-” Aro’s words were cut short. “Send her here now, Aro!” Marcus spun to look  Aro in the eyes, finally breaking his eye contact from you. “I have done more than prove myself to this coven! I have lost things important to me for this coven- for you! You will send for Chelsea and you will send her now because I am not losing another!”  “No.” You shook your head, creating more distance between you and the Volturi leaders. 

Your protests went ignored by Marcus and Caius returned with the twins, Felix and Demetri. Aro seemed to battle with himself under Marcus’ deadly stare before giving in.  “Someone retrieve Chelsea.” Aro said quietly. Caius frowned and much to your horror, Chelsea slipped in between Felix and Demetri along with Afton. Seemingly the two had been out of your line of sight.  “Marcus, no!” You yelled. “Don’t!” Marcus finally turned to you, taking a few steps forward. “Promise me,” He said calmly. “Promise me, you’ll stay.” You would have said anything in that moment. So you did.  “I promise.” You said shakily. Marcus looked into your eyes. “I’m sorry, my dear but I know you’re only saying that. I can see it in your eyes. That’s why this has to be done.” Marcus grabbed you firmly and you screamed. You hadn’t even noticed him inching closer.  “Chelsea, you know what you have to do.” Marcus said flatly, pain in his eyes. Chelsea moved closer. You screamed and cried in attempt to deter him. “Don’t do this to me!”  “Sweetheart, this is for the best.” Marcus assured you, kissing you on the forehead before stepping away. 

Chelsea moved around him, looking innocent and full of sympathy for you, another lie you had no doubt.  “Shh, it’s alright darling.” She said lightly.  “Stay away from me!” You shrieked.  “I won’t hurt you, darling. I promise. I know this is really hard for you right now. I feel awful for you really, I do.” She slowly moved forward her hands outstretched as though in surrender. “I’m gonna help you figure all this out. You just need to let me help you.” She said smoothly. You shook your head tears overcoming you once again. Chelsea’s hands wrapped around your upper arms. “I know, darling. I know, this is difficult. It’s okay now. I’m here. We’re all here for you.” She slowly moved to your side, wrapping her arms around you in a hug.  “You’re missing the important part.” Chelsea whispered. “You told me that you read a book once, you read that every family has its secrets? That’s true and we’re no different.”  “Family?” You managed out. Chelsea nodded, her copper coiled hair bouncing slightly. “Yes. We’re a family really, perhaps not in the same ways of a human family but...a family no less.” She squeezed you gently. “You’re a part of our family, (Y/N).” She smiled gently. “You’re just as important as the rest of us. We love you. Although, no one more than Marcus.” She looked at Marcus, leaning closer to your ear. “You know, the wives were telling us just how much he loves you. They can see it written all over him. We all can. You’re the light in his life, you know.” She hummed. “He wants to protect you and spend so much more time with you. Remember all the wonderful times together?” 

You did. Every last one of them, clearer than ever in that moment. Slowly you realised you had begun to calm ever so slightly. You’re breathing beginning to even out, the tears finally stopping.  “You two are going to have so many more times like those.” Chelsea said with a sweet smile. “Forever. You can be so happy here, (Y/N). Just as you have been before. Nothing has to change because every moment you had with Marcus was very real.” 

You felt as though you needed Marcus more than ever. You couldn't imagine your life without him. Even to the little things like the memory of his fingers in your hair, you craved more of it. His smiles, the peaceful nights you spent together, the embraces and kisses. Every last one made your heart soar. 

Marcus could see the bond between you grow with every passing minute that Chelsea spoke. He felt guilt that it had to be this way, but you needed to see beyond the past. He needed you to see the bond between you and him. The bond you share with him regardless of the past. You had helped him feel alive again and he couldn't let you go on not knowing that. He could fix things with you, he knew he could. You were his second chance. He was too attached to you to have ever even considered letting you die. 

As soon as it was brought up his mind was racing, thinking if every possible solution and outcome. This one was for the best.  Marcus watched as you slowly began to visibly relax, your breathing beginning to slow.  “Won’t you stay with us, (Y/N)?” Chelsea lightly begged. All eyes were on you. Your puffy eyes slowly lifted from the floor. Your gaze turned to Chelsea. 

Marcus turned to you, just as he had been doing for the past couple of hours. You were in the throne room with him, Aro, Caius, the twins, Felix and Demetri. You looked tired after a couple of nights of difficulty sleeping. It wasn’t surprising. Since that night, you struggled to relax and Marcus could live with that. You had agreed to stay with him and so he could show you that in the end, you had nothing to fear. Even if it took the whole of eternity, he’d show you. Your eyes were glued to the floor and then Marcus heard you stifled cries fighting their way out of you. Tears began to drip down your face, catching the attention of all three leaders. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me.” You managed out. Marcus rose from his throne moving towards you and pulling you into a hug. “Do not worry, my love. Everything is alright.” Marcus kissed the top of your head. “Why don’t you go and gets some rest, hm?” You slowly nodded. “Yeah, I’m probably just tired.” You agreed and Marcus kissed the top of your head again. 

Truth be told you felt the moment Chelsea’s ability began to work. You could feel your free will, your repulsion for the situation, slipping away. Instead it was replaced by the want to make sure Marcus was alright. To keep the coven together. Complete forgiveness. The knowledge that you couldn’t change the situation some how made it easier for you to dismiss it. Somehow that was the worst. You were completely aware of what Chelsea had done but you couldn’t fight it or even try to care. Knowing that, is what made you so emotional. Knowing you could never break free or even want to. The solution seemed to be simple, if you kept the secret, everything would be fine. It was for the best.  “Jane, why don’t you escort (Y/N) there?” Jane nodded. “Yes, Master.” Jane wrapped an arm around your waist as she guided you out of the room. Marcus waited for the doors to shut. “Alec?” Alec turned his head to look at Marcus. “Send Corin to (Y/N). She knows what to do.” Alec nodded before taking his leave. Aro and Caius watched Marcus who returned to his throne. Marcus looked to his brothers. “It’s for the best.” He said quietly.

[chilling-seavey]

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - 11

A/N An absolution 

Warnings: This story is centered around a murder so there will be graphic descriptions of blood, death/manslaughter, dealing with corpses, possible domestic abuse (physical/verbal), crime/covering up a crime, shock/grief, and other possibly heavy or triggering topics. Please read at your own discretion.

The sun was setting over the hills as I drove Jonah and myself out of Los Angeles and towards the desert. It was already getting later in the day so we decided to take the route through Palm Springs to stay there for the night and then make the straight shot to our shared ski lodge in Utah early the next morning.

Our drive was reasonably quiet, Jonah had connected his phone and was playing music quiet through the Bluetooth speakers in the car but neither of us were really focussed on the songs. That was a first, honestly.

I was too busy in my own mind; two Advil deep and still sporting a persistent headache while trying to piece together the events of the day. It had been both the fastest and longest day of my life. Did everyone always have it out for Avalon or was I just disgustingly dense? The way my brother spoke about her made me sick and the way Zach left our conversation with that sly dig made my blood boil. Avalon and I may have argued a lot but she was still my wife and I was supposed to protect her.

Right?

I’d be a complete asshole if I didn’t follow through with the one thing I swore to do in front of a whole congregation of our family and friends ‘til death do us part.

Goddammit.

It was dark by the time we pulled up to the resort in Palm Springs and the desert mountains were smudged into the starry sky in hues of black and dark blues. The city seemed quiet as if nightlife was non-existent. Normally, Jonah and I would complain about that – always ones to thrive off good nightlife, especially on a vacation – but right now, the quiet was perfectly ideal.

The sign out front of the resort read Riviera in curling letters and was lit from two spotlights on the grass below if beckoning us towards it. The parking lot didn’t seem too crowded, so we figured it was a safe place to stay. I parked the car near the entrance and pulled out a bit of the cash from the glovebox before we stepped out into the humid air.

Palm Springs felt far stickier than Los Angeles despite only being a two-hour drive away and I tugged haphazardly at the front of my black t-shirt to try and cool myself down a little as we headed for the doors. The burst of air conditioning that tumbled out of the building when the sliding glass doors opened for us was such a relief, even if our walk from the car hadn’t been that far. The lady behind the desk welcomed us with a smile and chipper hello and Jonah and I shuffled over quietly.

“We’re looking for a room for tonight. Two double beds preferably.” I said, keeping my voice down.

Being quiet felt necessary, even in the near empty lobby at the mere hour of 7:30pm.

The young lady typed away into her computer, her calm smile making me feel only more on edge than I already was. What was there to smile about? I drummed my fingers impatiently on the front desk and glanced back through the large windows to the direction of my car.

Her voice brought me back around, “We have a room available for you! It will be $185 for one night. Two double beds. Is a view of the pool alright with you?”

“Yeah.” I answered quickly. Pool, mountain, who gave a fuck. Honestly, dear reader, I never knew how much people can annoy me until I didn’t want to be around them.

“What’s the name for the booking?” she asked, glancing between Jonah and me expectantly.

“Seavey.” I answered and she typed it into her computer.

I figured since I told Christian we were going on a road trip it would only make sense to use my honest name if anyone came after us. God, I hoped no one would come after us.

I paid in full in cash – much to her surprise but she didn’t argue – and she passed us each a swipe key to our room.

“248. Second floor right past the pool on the other side.”

“Is there a Tesla charging station around here?” I asked.

“You’ll see it across the lot. Closer to the middle entrance doors!”

The hotel was built in a circular shape with the pool in the open courtyard centre and the two storeys of rooms in a pinwheel around it. Our room was at the far end of the building from the lobby and I drove my car down to the Tesla charging stations by the centre entrance to plug it in while Jonah pulled our bags from the backseat.

“What are we going to do with…the case in the trunk?” he asked me softly.

The quiet desert night made for ease of eavesdropping. Who could one trust at a time like that?

“The ice should keep it.” I whispered.

We opened the trunk and Jonah stood close to me for privacy as I unclipped the case and opened the top. The southern California heat had melted most of the ice on the drive and Jonah and I sighed in unison.

“Can’t keep her out here in this humidity.” Jonah whispered.

“I know.” I closed the equipment case and locked the clips again, “Bring her in with us then. It’ll be safer anyway.”

Jonah and I each draped our own bags over our shoulders and then each took a side of the case to lift it out of the trunk and onto the pavement. It was much heavier with the bags of melted ice and we found ourselves staggering a little down the hotel hallway with the weight of it. Of course we had to be on the second floor meaning we had to wait for the elevator.

Have you ever waited for the slowest elevator in the country with a dead body in your suitcase in the wide open? Didn’t think so. It is probably the most torturous thing one could experience. Or…one of the most torturous things one could experience.

I wonder if Avalon suffered.

The room was, of course, the lightest colours possible; the walls painted a light blue and the furniture and sheets all a crisp white. Jonah and I set the equipment trunk on the light brown carpet between us once we stepped inside and we took a second to look around the perfectly clean room. Where was there a place to put a bloody body that wouldn’t raise suspicions from housekeeping the following day?

Jonah peeked into the washroom that was directly to our left and he flicked on the light. The white tile floor was lit by warm pot lights along the ceiling and framed with white walls and a wood toned accent wall behind the dual vanity. The stand-alone tub was against the far wall and sat empty and perfectly clean.

We exchanged silent glances before letting the hotel room door close behind us and we lifted the equipment case into the ensuite. With equal soft huffs, we set it down on the tile and I unclipped the lid to open it up. Each melted ice bag was drained down the tub and the plastic packaging was left on the tile while we situated ourselves on either side of the case. I slid my hands under Avalon’s arms and directed Jonah to take her ankles and we lifted her up together and carefully set her in the tub. She was getting stiff so we tried to keep her in the same position we needed to put her back in the case come morning.

Jonah stuffed the empty ice bags into the bottom of the equipment case with the stained towel from home and he pulled it out of the bathroom and into the corner of the main room to keep it out of the way. I sat on the side of the tub and silently eyed the body of my wife that was lain in front of me. She seemed paler than when we left home and I sat there, afraid to touch her like she was stranger again.

“I’m going to grab some ice from the machine down the hall, okay?” Jonah said.

I glanced over at him and simply nodded before turning back to Avalon.

“Are you alright here?” he questioned.

I nodded again.

He hesitated in the doorway but left the room anyway.  

I felt numb when I first found her and I felt numb staring at her now, only hours apart but at the same time it felt like months. My God; my heart hurt.

I got up from the side of the tub and went back into the main room to where my laptop case was left on one of the beds. My hoodie and jeans were still inside it and I pulled out my sweater to take back into the ensuite. I carefully slid Avalon’s arms in it and then tucked it over her head and down her torso before resting her back against the side of the porcelain tub. The light bloody handprint over the chest was easier to look at than the gash across her neck and the completely dark red colour of her clothes. She looked nicer in my clothes anyway.

I sat back on the side of the tub and let my eyes study her face again. She was staring at the wall with that eery blank expression and I carefully reached over to close her eyelids. She looked like she was sleeping. I liked to think that’s what she was doing anyway…seemed to feel a little easier that way.

I let out a soft breath and reached my hand down to brush my fingers over hers, feeling the coolness of her once warm skin. She was unfamiliar now but, at the same time, still nothing less than the supposed love of my life. I ran my thumb over her knuckles and across the diamond ring on her left hand.

The glass fell and shattered on the kitchen floor between us, silencing our screaming match except for our heavy breaths and Avalon’s sniffled tears.

I sighed at the realization that the whole confrontation went on too far and I tried to reach for her, but she pulled her hand back and moved away from me, “Aves.”

“Don’t.” she snapped.

“Avalon, I’m sorry, I-”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.” she retorted sharply, yet I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. “I’m sleeping in the studio tonight.”

I swallowed thickly and nodded, glancing to the ground with a heavy heart, the pieces of broken glass shimmering in the kitchen light between us. She went to step around me but I instinctively reached out a hand to her to keep her back from accidently stepping on any broken glass, “Careful.”

“God, Daniel.” she huffed, “Please don’t.”

I didn’t make a move to stop her as she walked around me to storm across the living room and to the back door. She didn’t look back as she opened the sliding glass door and slipped out into the darkness that the falling night brought. I watched her disappear out of the house and into the backyard, her form fading from view like she had been a figment of my imagination the whole time, the cruelest most perfect kind of dream.

Oh, how I loved her. And I was so, so stupid.

I swallowed back my tears of realization as the pieces of the night came clearer to me. How I let her leave to the studio so easily, our last words spat in hatred, and how I could never truly apologize for not being the husband she wanted and deserved. I was too much of a coward and she was too good for me.

My tears came suddenly, breaking my breath in my chest with a shutter and I clenched my jaw to try and keep myself somewhat composed as the grief washed over me in heavy unbearable waves. I clutched her hand in mine and brought it up to my lips to press a soft kiss to her cold skin through my tears.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered shakily to her, only hoping somehow she could hear me. Wherever she was. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee​ @randomlimelightxxx​ @stuffofseaveyy​ @hopinglimelight​ @tempus-ut-luceant​ @br4nd1s​ @xkelsev​ @hiya-its-amber​ @sexyseavey15​ @the-girl-who-cried-wolf​

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

Hello! Can I request the companions reacting to a cute, sleepy female sole who suddenly becomes affectionate (through words or actions)? Pls make them have a huge crush on the ss ^.^

so cute! i love all your requests! (i’m not proud of this(?)) ❤️

-

“how much farther is diamond city?” sole whined loudly. she didn’t mean to complain, really, but the fact that she’s been on her feet nonstop for 3 days and getting only 4 hours of sleep every night had been killing her. of course, he noticed this and wanted her to catch more z’s but they were definitely vulnerable and short on time, so they had no choice but to keep pushing. he shot her a glance and noticed how exhausted she looked, sole looked like she could barely even hold a gun properly. “we can always stop by a shack or something.” hearing this, soles head shot up, a relieved sigh escaping her mouth. “well, what are we waiting for then?” he yelped as sole grabbed his hand, running to the nearest building they could find, “h-hey! slow down!”

soon enough, they had both settled down in a small house they had found not even a mile away and dusted off the beds that had been laying there for god knows how long. sole stretched tiredly as she made her way to her companion, who gazed out the window for any nearby enemies. he felt his bed sink as she sat next to him, letting out a yawn. “you should really be getting some sleep,” he muttered, “ill keep watch for tonight.” he was expecting her to head back to her own bed but little did he know, it was the quite opposite of what she was told to do.

Danse:

danse felt his body stiffen as sole rested her head on his shoulder, a choked sound escaping his mouth. “hey, w-what are you doing?! this is inappropriate..!” flustered was an understatement this man was feeling. his heart was thumping inhumanely loud, and he felt like he was gonna pass out any minute. “sorry,” sole sleepily murmured, “i just like having you ‘round me..” he wanted to chide her so bad, but something in him wanted to push her to say more, “i-i, um,-“ he cleared his throat, embarrassed, “am i able to know w-why?”

“i dunno,” god, her voice was so soft when she was sleepy, “i feel safe around you.” he felt his face flush 50 different shades of red as he stuttered, “i-i’m glad i make you feel that way..” he allowed his shoulders to relax as she began to drift off to sleep, her voice getting quieter by the second,

“you make me feel more than that, yknow..?” danse felt his body grow rigid as her words repeated in his head, “what do you mea-“ before he could finish his sentence, sole had fallen asleep against him within no time. as bad as he wanted to wake her up to find out the real meaning behind that message, he decided it was a conversation for another day. for now, her words imprinted on his mind, keeping him wide awake for the rest of the night.

Deacon:

he observed how sole laid on his bed and moved into a somewhat fetal position, her eyes not budging from a certain spot in front of her. out of curiosity, he followed her line of vision and realized that she had been staring at his hands, which were currently fiddling with the gun. with a confused look on his face, he joked, “what? are you into hands or something, charmer?” sole let out a soft chuckle as she used an elbow to prop herself up and punched deacon playfully on the arm. “you’re so stupid deacon,” she bantered, a soft smile playing on her face, “but i can’t lie, you do have nice hands.” deacon let out a dramatic gasp as his free hand covered his mouth, “and what about the rest of me? i’m hurt.” rolling her eyes, sole lightly brushed her fingers against his knuckles and soon rubbed his fingers with her thumb. “well, i never said anything bad about the rest of you.”

“heh, guess you can’t get enough of me.” he was beyond nervous, and was more than grateful that his sunglasses hid it. he hadn’t felt this kind of feeling since barbara, and knew there was no escape to his attraction for her, no matter how hard he tried.

“yeah, i guess i can’t.” she said as she continued to draw figures on his hand, her eyes growing heavy. he noticed how sole kept waking up, trying to keep her hand on his as she (unsuccessfully) fought her sleep. with a small smile, deacon laced his fingers with hers as she slowly fell into a deep slumber. his eyes fixated on their intertwined hands, wanting to take in the sensation just a little longer. oh man, he was so ready to tease sole about this the next morning.

Hancock:

he felt arms wrap around his torso from behind and was nearly shocked at the sudden affection. “sunshine?” he felt her grip tighter onto him, “is there something wrong?” sole shook her head and only spoke softly, “nothings wrong, i just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” she nervously tapped her fingers against his abdomen, “i know i’m not the easiest person to travel with, let alone, help every single day.” hancock smiled softly and let out a chuckle, putting his hand on top of hers. “you’re the best person i’ve ever met, and i’d do anything for you. besides, there’s nobody else i’d rather have as my partner.”

“i hope you know i’d do the same for you.” he took in the silence that followed right after, only staring down at her arms that were enveloping him. he enjoyed the feeling of her body against his, and how her arms fit so perfectly around him. after what seemed like forever, sole broke the stillness of the atmosphere. “can we stay like this for a little? i just-“

“no need to explain yourself sunshine, take as long as you please, i don’t mind.” sole only muttered a small, ‘thank you’ as hancock hummed a little tune of approval. he felt soles breath slow down, and he carefully turned around to face her, taking sole into his arms. hancock let out a grin as he moved a piece of her hair out of her face, he never really had the chance to see sole up close, but was glad he was blessed to have that opportunity. hancock placed her onto the bed nearby and sat by her side, her touch still lingering on his torso.

Maccready:

he felt his heart race as he noticed sole staring right at him, a inquisitive look on her face. “uh, what’s up, boss?” maccready began to feel anxious as sole continued to eye him, “um, earth to sole, are you still with me?” sole tilted her head cutely, making maccreadys cheeks turn red. “sorry, it’s not everyday i get to look at you up close,” her eyes fluttered tiredly, “actually, i never had the chance, we never really have time.” she was right, they never really got to see each other eye to eye and this was the very first, and hopefully not the last, time that he’ll get to experience it. he took in her features, and knew that the commonwealth barely had anyone as attractive as sole. sole was really beautiful, almost too beautiful to be existent in the commonwealth.

his train of thought was cut off by soles soft voice, “you’re really attractive,” maccready felt his ears heat up in embarrassment as sole took in the view, “i wonder how you’re still single. i’m surprised i haven’t caught a girl checking you out yet.”

normally, maccready would make some snarky remark or say something like ‘quit it’, but his undeniable and obvious crush for sole told him otherwise. he felt his confidence skyrocket thanks to sole, it really wasn’t everyday maccready received a compliment, especially from the girl he admired. “thanks boss.. it really means a lot coming from you.” he rubbed his neck sheepishly as sole stretched, getting up on her feet to head to bed. oh how maccready wished he could grow the balls to say the same to her. “of course mac, i wouldn’t be lying to my favorite partner!” he watched as she laid on her bed, giving maccready one final stare before closing her eyes. “goodnight, mac.” “night boss.” he felt his heart jump in happiness as he realized how lucky he was to have someone like sole by his side.

Nick Valentine:

of course, nick being the sweetheart he is, had set the bed for her as she changed her clothes in the other room. the bed was in the living room where he was sitting peacefully at, so it wasn’t hard to hear some turning and tossing against the hard mattress. he took a peek at sole who was staring at the ceiling wearily. “having trouble to sleep, doll?” sole nodded as she saw nick stride over to her in no time. he sat beside her bed and opened a book next to the counter, but before he let a single word out, sole had slowly shut the book.

“nick, i wanna talk to you and get to know you as a person. all this time i’ve been your partner, i haven’t really asked about your personal life.” nick sent her a surprised look, “and why would you want that?”

“well to be fair, i have told you a lot about my life so far,” she spoke shyly as she fiddled with her fingers, “and you’re an interesting guy, nick. you’re just so nice and caring towards others. i really do look up to you. no one in the commonwealth has a reputation like you do.” sole was way too nervous to even stare up at him as she continued talking, “well to me, at least.” if nick had a heart, it’d be melting at the words that shot out of soles mouth. he knew damn well that she meant every word of it and no one could tell him otherwise. nick let out a content grin as he spoke with a hint of joy in his voice, “well i guess great minds think alike, don’t you think? i suppose i can do that for you.” he felt so at home with her and he couldn’t place a finger as to why, but he decided to wave it off. nick rambled on about his life as sole felt a sense of tranquility, her eyes slowly closing at the sound of nicks soothing voice.

[couchpotatoaniki]

Gentleman (A Valentine’s Special)

A mysterious stranger ends up at your door, looking for a place to stay. But is he who he says he is? More importantly, what is he doing to you?

Pairing: Special Agent!Jungkook x Famer! Fem!Reader Genre: Greek God AU, 1950s AU, fluff, minor angst, suggestive, suspense Warnings: Creepy behaviour, slight yandere behaviour, coercion (?), implied smoking Word count: 5k+

NOT EDITED

14th February 1955 Britain Ten Years After World War II

“Hey! Come back here!”

Your yelling could be heard throughout the massive coop as you chased one of your rebellious chickens. The hen clucked back at you, running away--talons ready to fight--as her wings beat the air with such vigour, some feathers came off her body.

Clutching your knees and holding the side of your waist tightly, you paused where you stood to catch your breath. Intense pain began to subside slowly, but you thought it would be better if you do not push yourself, seeing as though toady’s activities were more taxing than usual.

Making eye contact with the devilish chicken, you glared hard at her. “You may... have won the battle, Leslie... but you will not... win the war.” Stretching your back, you began to walk out of the coop--but you turned around to give one last warning. “I’ll get you one day.”

She clucked in response, as if the bird was taunting you. You decided not to go further and left, making sure to lock the coop well so she didn’t escape.

Looked up at the setting sun to see that it was almost six-ish, meaning that your own dinner was about to start... right after you feed the rest off the animals.

Thankfully, you saved the best for last. You own pet--a Scotch Collie with kind eyes and fuzzy fur. She was actually your parents’ parting gift before they had to leave for the war. Called her Pepper because she always made Papa sneeze badly, from his terrible allergy.

She barked, running in a circle in anticipation for her meal. You never really understood why dogs were o excited to eat the same food for the rest of their lives--especially now that you had begun to appreciate different foods after rationing for years.

That’s why you were thoughtful enough to try and at least mix things up, feeding Pepper diverse foods with flavour since your farm definitely had the facilities to do so.

Leaving your dog outside in her doghouse so she could play for a bot after her food, you went inside to start making your own dinner with almost every ingredient grown at the farm.

Chicken tetrazzini, Mama’s recipe.

Best part about it, was that it had made enough for a midnight snack too, as well as covering for tomorrow’s lunch and dinner. After all, it was made for four people.

Everything was set--the food on the table, plate and cutlery set out, even went one step further and put some fresh flowers in the clear glass vase. Huff escaped past your lips as you sat down, finally feeling the stresses of the day melting away.

Apparently someone else had a different plan, since when you were just about to take a bite of the meal you had spend almost two hours cooking, a knock on the door had interrupted.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake! What can a woman do to get some peace?!”

Another knock beckoned her, hast in its rhythm, begging for attention.

“Alright, alright,” you signed, chair screeching against the hard wood of the floor and you pushed away and stood up.

Was a short walk from the table to the door, but it felt long now that your body had gotten a taste of relaxation before it had to move again. Obviously, you would be grumpy. Who comes this late in the evening anyway?

Opening the oak door, it revealed a dashing young man, around your age, in an expensive-looking black suit with a matching hat and beige trench coat, small leather suitcase in his hand.

Almost blended in with inky night sky, a full moon already high in the sky.

His expression was blank as he held up a badge--an officer’s badge. Golden surface sparkled under the soft lightbulb, displaying letters that spelt ‘National Crime Agency’.

‘Straightforward,’ was the first impression you got.

The ring on his left hand, which he used to hold the badge up, did not go unnoticed either. Gold with diamonds sewn into the thick metallic band.

‘Filthy rich,’ was the second impression.

His hair was ebony, silky and smooth--as was his skin, by the look of it. To say he was handsome was an understatement, not like you paid much attention to such trivial matters.

“I am Special Agent Jeon Jungkook,” he introduced, voice deep and soothing. Took you off-guard, for a reason you did not know, but your tiredness took over.

“Usually, you'd greet a person with ‘hello’.” Jungkook grunted under his breath--now just as annoyed as you were, from your brazenness, but was about to comply until you sucked in the air through your teeth, making your chest rise and fall. “What can I help you with today, Agent?”

Glancing inside your abode without seeing too rude, he glided his tongue against the inside of his cheek. “I need to stay here for the night.”

The sudden request frim the stranger took you by surprise. “Pardon?”

He clicked the muscle in his mouth and sighed, “you heard me, Ma’am.”

“Why can’t you just stay somewhere else?”

“Because, when you’re out here in the countryside, you don’t find many places to stay nearby. The only only inn around here told me to stay here since they were full.”

You suppose it made sense--the nearest inn was usually swamped with tourists passing by, not to mention the owner was your brother’s brother-in-law. Seeing someone as important as a special agent, well it would be common sense for him to send the important an to you.

A notice would’ve been nice, however.

“Okay then.”

Sliding to the side, you let your home become subjected to a stranger who had an air about him you couldn’t shake off. Each step of his as he glided behind you gave you a heavy feeling.

Like every single time his polished obsidian shoes collided with the wooden floor, her heart pounded along side it.

Something was wrong about him; it was a feeling you couldn’t shake off. Even your soul was sending off warnings that this man was not who he claimed to be--not entirely. 

He was perfect... too perfect.

Though his personality was horrible and manners, close to non-existent, he held himself with confidence and elegance. Even spoke in a way that had her knees quaking ever so slightly--

You scolded yourself mentally. No. This was not okay. Jungkook is a married man so having such scandalous thoughts were wrong.

But you had never felt anything close to this for a man you had just met. Naturally, you suspected him.

Luckily, your brother worked in the same place--the National Crime Agency. Could check if he is who he says he is.

“Would you like something to eat? You look famished.”

He paused in the middle of the living room, dropping his suitcase in the corner after taking his hat off. Nodded slightly, his onyx hair bouncing ever so gently. “Where’s the master of the house?” he inquired as you made your way to the dining table in the kitchen.

Jungkook sat patiently at the foot rather than the head, kind enough to assume that it was a taken spot that was not for him. Despite the fact that you had faced inequality all your life, you were still irked by this question. “I’m the master of the house.”

You opened one of your cabinets and took out another ceramic plate that matched your own. As you put in some food for him, he continued his questioning. “So you own this whole farm?” Curtly, you nodded. “But what about your parents?”

“Mama and Papa died in the war,” you causally dropped as you set his place like a good host. Despite your delivery, the event was in no means trivial.

You could still remember the day Hoseok came knocking on your door with a grey, ashen face. The day your older brother had to tell his little sister that their parents were never going to come back home like they promised.

The only reason he could even deliver the news himself was because he worked at the NCA HQ in London for his ‘excellent skills’ and ‘brilliant mind’. That was the reason he was not drafted. That was the reason you were left in charge of the farm.

Not that you hated it, no; you loved these animals you grew up with, the sense of home and of childhood. Familiarity.

Mama and Papa were part of that warmth that made it bearable to run the place and when they had turned cold, you cried up a storm. Damaged your health to the point Hoseok and his wife had to nurse you back to health for a month and help around.

“Sorry, ma’am,” Jungkook mumbled, snapping you out of the trance you were in. “If I may be so bold as to ask...how? I understand your father would have been conscripted, but your mother...?”

“Mama was a nurse out in the battlefield.” Thinking about it made you chuckled a little, a small scoff laced within it. “Stayed together throughout the war and died together. Always  said they loved each other too much to live without the other. Looks like God made that wish come true...or the Germans. Whatever one you believe has more power.”

He too laughed at your little venomous comment, very much amused by the way his smile grew and eyes crinkled at the corners. “Germans are still somewhat powerful, and so is God... or Gods and Goddesses, depending on beliefs.” Elbows on the table with one hand enveloping the other, Jungkook rested his chin on his knuckles and cocked a brow. “So which one applies to you?”

You let out a long exhale, you returned to you seat to take that much needed bite while you thought on it. “I... The Germans aren’t all bad. A lot of them were brainwashed or threatened.” You toyed with the food on your plate, finding that you were not feeling all that hungry anymore.

“As for ‘God’... Well, I gave up that belief a long time ago,” you whispered, painfully taking in another morsel. anything to full you mouth with anything other than bitter words that burned your throat.

“And ‘Gods and Goddesses’?”

“I’d be open to the idea, though I’m not very fond of it either from my studies of them,” you mused. “Religion just isn’t my thing. Hasn’t been for a long time.”

Humming, Jungkook took a sip of his water. Failed to notice that he was already halfway done with his dinner. “And your husband?”

“Never had one,” you answered nonchalantly, like it was normal for a 25 year-old woman to be single and living in a household all by herself, working too.

This would have been a shocker to the agent had he not known about your status. You were a woman with much potential, who could have anyone in the world if you wished. Even him.

Especially him.

Only him.

“So, why are you here?” You figured it was a good idea actually ask the man why he was staying in your house in the first place. 

But Jungkook was not biting. “Classified.”

He bit his lower, plump lip softly, the simple action having your mind run around. Exploring the idea of a touch from the pair against your skin, having your own lip to be between your teeth instead.

You shook the thought the moment you realised it had entered in your mind. He’s married, he’s married, he’s married.

Breaking the intense eye contact you had, you quickly excused yourself, needing to check who this person was. Never had you felt an attraction to someone you never met and that itself had set off alarms in your head.

You trudged up the creaky stairs to your bedroom, where the rotary dial telephone was out of Jungkook’s earshot. Once you put in the number, you had the earphone pressed against your skin, fingers tightening around the red handle.

“Come on... pick up,” you muttered. Your payers heard by the click that was followed by the high-pitched voice of your sister-in-law.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Elise? It’s Y/N.” Your volume was still kept relatively low, despite no one being around you.

The voice at the other end sounded very pleased to hear from you. “Y/N! It’s been so long! How are you?”

“Good, good. What about you and the little baby bump?”

“Both of us are as fine as dandelions in spring!”

“That’s wonderful!” Your eyes sifted momentarily to the door. “Listen, I’d love to continue chatting, but I need to speak to Hoseok. Urgently.”

“Oh! Okay, let me catch him!”

“Thank you, you angel.”

As Elise went to retrieve her husband, you couldn’t help but think about your wonderful friendship with her. How perfect she was for Hoseok and vice versa. Unfortunately a forbidden thought--’forbidden’ by your standards--creeped in.

What if you yourself had found such perfect love?

What if it was with Jungkook?

The weird sound in your head was not familiar or normal. Beyond odd. The mere idea of being with a married stranger sent shivers down your spine. Ones you did not like.

Something was awry.

“Y/N?” your brother’s joyous voice spoke from the other end. “I miss you!”

“I miss you too, Hobi,” you giggle a little, forgetting your worries momentarily. Between your tiring day and his busy one, time for themselves was rare, nevermind calls.

This felt like a wonderful opportunity to talk to him, one you had to sadly decline due to a more pressing matter that you believed was sat at your dining table downstairs.

“So, Hoseok, I need to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you know anyone called ‘Jeon Jungkook’ where you work?”

Silence overtook the line for a few seconds. “Yeah... Cold but kind. Massive flirt, though. Wears a ring but isn’t officially married to anyone. In fact, no one’s ever heard him talk about a significant other... weird.”

For some odd reason, happiness began to swell in you chest upon hearing that. No matter how hard you tried to push it down, it was still there.

“N-Nothing. Just... he showed up at the house. Wanted to check in to see if he was telling the truth.”

“Did he not show you his badge?”

“He did, but I wanted to double check.”

A soft hum could be heard, then the tone of your brother’s voice became much more serious. “Quick question. Why is he at the house?”

“Wouldn’t you and I both like to know... but a part of it is that apparently John’s inn is full.”

“...Alrighty, then. Was there anything else?”

“N-No...” you trailed off, eyes shifting to the door. She could feel a presence on the other side, listening in. Must have been Jungkook, though you certainly would have heard him coming up the creaky staircase. “Call you later.”

“O-Okay, b--”

You immediately ended the call, focus narrowed on the strong wood as you crept towards it, careful not to make any noise. Fingers wrapped around the doorknob, blood rushing from the adrenaline coursing through your veins, heart pounding. Swinging it open, the hinges squeaked from the sudden movement.

Empty stretch of corridor.

When you returned back downstairs to the dining room--stairs creaks as they normally did--you found Jungkook sat in the same position you felt him in, plate empty.

“You should really fix those stairs,” he smiled, having your heart somersaulting in your chest. “Don’t sound very safe.” Running his tongue over his lips, which was of no help to your current condition, he stood to place his plate in the sink. “May you show me to my room?”

You moved to grab his suitcase, ready to bring it upstairs, until his hand reached out quicker, grabbing it. How did he move so quickly? More importantly, why was he so close?

And that scent of his, strong, like bourbon, but a citrusy hint to it. Faint scent of cigarettes on his breath that brushed against the nape of your neck.

It feels warm.

Tumbling away, you sucked in a sharp breath, too aware of the dangerous proximity. Jungkook simply chuckled at your reaction as he lifted the suitcase, muscles popping beneath the fine material of his blazer.

You could not help but notice it, nor could you help but imagine seeing it without the cloth in the way. Even toyed with the image of that very arm holding you up as the pair of you did unspeakable things. Things that--if others found out--would have your respectable position within society lie in tatters.

“What’s happening?” you whispered to yourself, trying to get a grip, yet Jungkook managed to catch it.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing,” you waved off, subtly narrowing your eyes onto him with suspicion. You kept silent after that, walking up the stairs with him following shortly behind you. Under the weight of both of you, the stairs did, in fact, groan loudly, showing that there really was no way he could have come upstairs without you hearing.

What if you were hearing things? What if you were going mad?

The two of you stopped at the end of the corridor, the window behind you letting the moonlight in. Jungkook did not mention it, but the soft glow illuminating your figure made you appear like an angel.

You were his angel.

You opened the door to your right, letting him see inside. Quaint, nice décor, homely. “This is your room. Sorry if it’s a little dusty, I haven’t had a guest in a long, long time. This door opposite is the powder room.” You pointed down the hallway, to the door at the end. “My bedroom’s over there. Don’t be afraid to knock if you need anything.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Corners of your lips quirking for no reason, you remarked, “name’s Y/N.”

“Okay then, Miss Y/N. I’ll see you in the morning...”

Nodding, you watched as he took his suitcase inside. Eyes locked onto each other, only breaking when the door finally separated the two of you.

You looked out the window, shoving both hands in your back pockets as you looked out the window. Harsh winds and dark clouds rolling in fast.

Rain looked likely... and heavy.

“I should probably get Pepper inside.”

What you did not know, was that Jungkook heard you, was looking out into the same scenery as you, then down to the dog house, fenced up with a fuzzy dog inside.

You turned around and walked downstairs, old boards still whining under every step you took with your brown boots.  Opening the back door, you were met with a surprise; Pepper was already waiting in front of it.

You never forgot to lock the fence around the dog house, not when a person had tried to steal her shortly during the war.

Regardless, you moved back to let the dog in. “Sorry, girl.”

You pet her fur, a little cold from the vast wisps of air travelling at a faster rate than usual. Shut the door, then beckoned Pepper to follow upstairs, not like she needed to be told twice, since the eager animal sprinted tot he second floor, all the way to Jungkook’s room and started barking aggressively.

“Pepper, you can’t...” you trailed off mid-sentence when seeing your dog’s behaviour. Crouched--ready to pounce, ears bent and pointed down, two perfect rows of sharp teeth in a snarl. This was beyond the norm; she was usually very friendly.

The brass doorknob twisted slowly and retreated.

An unpleased Jungkook stood in front of her with dishevelled hair and in a plain black shirt paired with plaid pocketed pants, scowling.

You had to admit, he was exceptionally... good-looking in his night-wear. All you wanted to do in that moment was to run your finger through his dark locks, wanting to feel him beneath the tips of your fingers. Finally, you got to see his veiny arms in the short-sleeved top and faintly see this well-built torso under the tight fabric.

Snapped out of it when you saw how Pepper heeled in submission as she whimpered once she saw his annoyed face. Made Jungkook grin and stroke the fur atop her head, going down on one knee. “Good dog...”

Never had you seen such a drastic change in the behaviour of Pepper, and you actually began to worry.

As if hearing your thoughts, Jungkook looked back to you once he stood up. “I’m good at making things like me.”

With a final smile, he shut the door and you took that as the que to retire for the night yourself. Tail wagging, your Scotch Collie happily trailed behind you and settled at the foot of your bed.

You locked the door, double checking that it was secure since, at the end of the day, there was still a stranger staying under the same roof as you. No matter how attracted you were, you could not ignore that fact.

Nothing sat well with you, your mind running wild as you tied your hair into a braid and changed into your nightgown. Was a little showy, but it was fine since no one would come in, not to mention that it was comfortable too.

All of a sudden, a headache formed. Felt like your brain was being torn into two, but the pain spread to your heart as well.

Why is it so warm?

Stumbling, you sat down on your bed and gulped down the glass of water that was on your bedside table. A bit of water dribbled down the corner of your mouth from how hastily you drank it, but it did not help the extreme discomfort you were in.

Heart almost jumped out of your chest from the phone’s loud ‘ttttrrring’ out of nowhere. “Hello?” you said, trying not to make the panting audible.

“It’s me, Y/N,” Hoseok said. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“N-No. I was just about to hit the hay,” you whispered into the earphone, not wanting Jungkook to hear through the walls, no matter how thick they were. “What happened?”

Eyes darted around the room, suddenly more paranoid than called for.

“I thought it was a little weird that Jungkook went to the farm instead of finding another place to stay.”

“He said he couldn’t.”

“I know, but something felt... off.”

You could feel it again, that presence behind the door returned. Pepper got up, couching as she had done earlier and growling at the door. There was someone there. It was not just your imagination. “So? What did you do?”

“I called John and asked him if he met someone from the NCA. He said he didn’t.” You gulped, now feeling the presence behind you, in front of you, all around you. “Then I asked him if he had any rooms available.”

“And?”

“Apparently he did. A few, actually. Been vacant for weeks now. not peak travelling time because of the storm that’s hitting tonight, and front he look of outside, it’s here. So what I want you to do, is I want you to be very damn careful around him.”

“I thought he was your friend.” You still had difficulty trying to process it, especially from how you were feeling, but you tried your best to pay heed to your brother’s words.

“He's a colleague and besides, he lied. I can’t get there for two days since the storm’s really bad. Be wary of him and everything he does until then. He tries anything, you leave immediately and go to the inn.”

“Is he really that dangerous?”

“Yes.”

So you had to spend two days with a man you barely knew, a man whose intentions you did not know. “Okay,” you breathed, starting to get a little light-headed. “Than y--”

In an instant, you stopped talking. You could not hear any growls anymore. You shifted your line of sight to the door, only to find your furry companion gone.

You felt a pressure on your shoulder.

A hand.

No one was in front of her, so they must have been behind her.

“I’ll... I’ll have to call you later.”

“Be safe, okay?”

“Okay. Bye--”

Another hand pried the earphone away for your frozen body and ended the call within a second. Warm, cigarette-scented breath fanned over your exposed neck, triggering goosebumps to erupt all over.

One large hand rubbed up your arm, while the other squeezed the side of your waist. The touch felt familiar despite the fact you had never been touched like this before.

A name came rolling off your tongue so naturally, as you tried to supress an unholy sound. “J-Jungkook...”

“Call me Eros, my love. That’s my real name.”

Confusion and pleasure twisted your face, his lips hovering over the crook of your neck, over the one spot that gave you the most... feeling. He knew it just like that, like he knew your body better than you did.

“Wh-What?” Took all the strength you could muster not to slur your words.

Clearly, it failed.

Your body had detached itself from your hazy mind with nothing commanding it but Jungkook, your neck stretching to the side to grant him better access.

“It’s true.” His head lowered further in, the soft skin of his lips doing wonders. “I’m Eros.”

You tried so hard not to make a noise, your breathing heavy heavy to try an stabilise your palpitating heart. Thighs pressed together for some friction to ease the burning need in your lower body.

“My Psyche... my beautiful Psyche...”

You snapped up, trying to gain control over yourself once more. Turned to face him while he sat on your bed, licking his lips as his eyes racked over your figure, once again basking in the glowing moonlight that entered through your window.

“Did you wear that for me, my love?”

Your face turned as red as a tomato as you tried to cover yourself from his preying stare.

But why did you like the attention?

“No, I didn’t,” you cleared your throat, relaxing your muscles as you recalled Eros and Psyche’s story from your personal studies of mythology.

Seeing as how strange the entire evening was, how nothing was as it was meant to be, you certainly had believed it. Especially when the pain had began to subside only when Jungkook was touching you.

“Wait, I though you had a child; that you were married to Psyche.”

“First of all,” he got of the bed, “that never stopped a God or Goddess. Secondly, what the humans teach is wrong. I never had a child.”

He began taking slow steps towards you, like you were his prey.

“Thirdly, what the humans didn’t tell you, is that when Mother--Aphrodite--granted immortality to Psyche, she only gave it to her soul. The ability to be reborn.” Jungkook looked saddened by it, though the feeling momentarily flickered through his eyes, it was gone just as quick. “Now that I have finally found you, my love, I will grant your body immortality too. So you can stay with me. Forever.”

By now, there was no such thing as personal space, your bodies so close that there was no room left to breathe. Not like this man--or God, technically--had granted you ‘breath’ from the moment you laid eyes on him.

His hand slithered with no shame up the side of your hips, your waist, your chest, and around the back of your neck.

“I know you want to, my love.”

Your mind went blank, numb to everything but his words and his warmth.

“I know you can’t think when you’re with me like this.”

Your eyes fluttered closed, bringing down your defences with Hoseok’s words long discarded.

“I’ve always had this affect on you, you know? From centuries ago to even now.” Jungkook’s lips hovered over the lobe of your ear, soft air very gently stroking the skin as his tongue lightly caressed the skin to make you shiver.

Chuckled to himself as he saw how responsive your body was.

His face moved to the front, to see your heavy-lidded expression, eyes clouded with lust.

Hair dropping over his forehead, bundled-up stands casting a shadow over one eye with the over glimmering under the moonlight that peeked through the raining clouds which pattered against the window.

“Do you love me?”

What little bit was left of your conscious tried to say ‘no’. Tried to protest, that you were your own person and not his long-lost love. But something inside you kept silent.

Jaw tightening, flexing ever so slightly under the soft beam, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. Movement against each other was so familiar, like you had done it before. But you had not, not with him or anyone else, for that matter. His tongue against you own was like a dance you knew from your heart.

Jungkook broke away--too quickly, in her opinion.

“Tell me. Do you love me?”

The only thing that came out of your mouth that second was, “yes.”

Your eyes were glazed over, like you were now an empty shell, yet not empty in any way whatsoever. Brainwashed, yet full of free will.

“I love you.”

Jungkook grinned at you, holding tightly onto your waist to make sure you were not dream. “I love you too.”

He stepped backwards, taking you with him. Just before he reached the bed, he sup you around so that you were the one walking backwards. The mattress hit against the back of your knees, making you fall; your arms tangled around him brought him down with you.

Faces an inch apart, Jungkook dug something out of his pyjama pocket.

A gold ring with small diamonds encrusted onto the thin band in a beautiful and intricate way. The matching pair  to the one wrapped around his ring finger.

Jungkook slipped it on you, and it fit so well, like it was mean to be there.

“There. Now you’re almost complete. We just need to do one last thing, my love.”

With that, he kissed you much more roughly, hungrily, than before as he slipped of the straps of your nightgown.

Pepper, still quiet and hidden in the other room, watched the rain hammer hard and fast against the glass of the windows for the rest of the night.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sophia Jirafe

Seven of Sophia Jirafe’s fics are at Gossamer, but more of her X-Files stories are at AO3 (as sophiahelix). I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Stones and Bones. She was active in the fandom during the show’s run and has never strayed far from fandom in general. She co-founded Glass Onion, a great multi-fandom mailing list that now has nearly 1,000 fics from 100 fandoms at AO3. Big thanks to Sophia Jirafe for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It did initially, but so many old shows are on streaming now and getting discovered by new people, it makes sense.

I did get a comment from someone who said my first story under this name, posted in early 2000 when I was a college freshman, was older than her by a couple of months, and THAT took me aback.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was my first fandom, discovered when I was 17 and searching for info about the show on the school library computer, and it really shaped my whole life! I met a lot of people I still know today (mostly in non-fannish venues like FB, though I do still have some connections in fandom), and learned a lot about writing and just life generally, since I was younger than most of fandom at the time.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started off on a tiny forum at a website called Squirrel’s Nest, but I kept seeing people thanking Scullyfic in fic headers and eventually I was able to join the mailing list (which was capped to 500 members). Scullyfic was everything to me — I made friends, betas, discussed the show, learned about all kinds of things on Off-Topic Fridays, etc. A lot of those friends, I would email with or more often chat on AIM (individual or these sprawling group chats that would go on all day), and then at the end of 2001 we started migrating to Livejournal. I was getting into Buffy more by then, but it was still mostly the same crowd of people I knew from Scullyfic.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I feel like it started me on a whole life path really — finding that my deep obsession with fiction could be channeled like that and shared with other people, as well as deepening my writing. Online fandom has been a major part of my social life for over 20 years now, and I love the mix of getting excited about things with friends and also the creative outlet.

My corner of X-Files fandom in particular was just very calm and enjoyable for the most part, full of older professional women who were happy to be friends and give me advice about all kinds of things, and it really set the bar for me with my online interactions. Now I’m almost 40 and trying to be that person for my younger friends, as well as having no patience for toxicity and in-fighting in my fandom spaces.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

A combination of the creepy conspiracy angle and just adoring Scully. I remember how mysterious and fascinating the show seemed when I discovered it right before S5, and there was no way to find out more except to keep watching and hoping they explained. Scully was so smart and tough and beautiful and interesting, and as a teen I was just captivated by her (and the UST, though I didn’t care about Mulder as much).

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I ran across it a couple times early on but felt embarrassed by the concept, but then I read the first in Karen Rasch’s Words series and suddenly it clicked for me. After a while I started daydreaming my own conversations between them, very similar to what happens to me now when I’m getting into a new pairing, so after reading tons of recommended fic by big authors, I started writing my own (the 3-4 stories I posted in high school are all wiped from the internet now, though).

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good memories, though because it was my senior year of high school and college, I know a lot of it is just tied to that time in my life, and also being in my very first fandom. I will rewatch episodes from time to time, but I basically never revisit former fandoms because they’re kind of like exes, even if I finished on a good note. I also think my taste in fic has changed (and there isn’t the same novelty of “characters I like getting together omg!”)

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

So many! None of them had quite the same combination of excellent central architecture (especially pre-AO3) and a really high level of discussion and friendliness without being enormous, but I’ve loved them all in their own ways. I’ve done fandom on LJ/DW, Tumblr, Discord, and now on Twitter, and I think I miss the mailing list days the most. You didn’t have to repeat yourself so much in multiple conversations, you weren’t character limited, and the discussion was all in one place, with personal stuff more confined to your side conversations. Discord is a little like that, but it moves too fast and there’s too much noise for my taste.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Heh, after X-Files I went through a whole phase of faves in the Scully vein — Buffy, Aeryn Sun, Kara Thrace, etc. Like many people I’ve shifted primarily into m/m in the last decade (Sherlock, YOI, and recently The Untamed have been my major fictional fandoms, along with a lot of sports RPF), but for non-fannish shows I’m always looking for awesome new female characters, like Elizabeth on the Americans, Peggy on Mad Men, Nadja on What We Do in the Shadows, etc. And I do LOVE Killing Eve and have written a little f/f over there.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I’ll rewatch favorite episodes occasionally, and I keep thinking about a full rewatch but it takes so much time! I never saw the second movie, and I didn’t finish the first of the new seasons because I was hating it, so it’s a little hard for me to think fannishly about them when I disliked basically everything after “Je Souhaite” so much (as far as I’m concerned the show ends there).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

X-Files no, but yeah I’m still very active in fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I lost all my saved fic several computers ago, but I recall loving “Blue Christmas” by Plausible Deniability and “Diamonds and Rust” by MustangSally (obviously everything she wrote was great).

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Looking at my X-Files fic, I can’t believe how short it is and how comparatively little of it there is (I have lost track of a few ficlets). It felt like such a big deal to finish anything back then! I think my favorite remains Alphabetum, which involved a tricky structure and 5 elements given by people as part of the Scullyfic Improv challenge, where you had a week to write a story around those elements.

My favorite of my recent fic in fictional fandoms is probably the GoT/YOI crossover novel I wrote a couple years ago, for a completely opposite experience to this (and proof you can grow as a writer with a lot of effort!)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

It’s honestly hard to imagine going back (like I said, I usually don’t), but I guess I could get inspired by something.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I certainly still write, and I do have to give credit to XF fandom and Scullyfic in particular for giving me the start I got, where I really wanted to be writing good fiction. The few things I wrote in high school were just me jamming out romantic cliches, but the people I was lucky to know in XF fandom showed me that “just” fanfic can still aspire to be high quality. I am a much, much better and more disciplined writer than I was back then, but I might never have started on this path without fandom friends encouraging me.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Usually just daydreaming about emotional dynamics between characters/people, but sometimes something specific in canon or real life (I write a lot of RPF) gets me going, or maybe something I read.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I wrote for X-Files, I picked “Sophia Jirafe” combining my favorite first name with a fancy spelling for my favorite animal (I was 18! Don’t judge!) Over on Livejournal, my friend Jintian and I initially shared an account with the same name as our website, double_helix, and when she got her own account I changed to sophia_helix, which is now sophiahelix just about everywhere. A little clunky, but I like the continuity (and I do run across old friends who remember the name).

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The friends I’ve known for a very long time know about it, but we have never talked about it in depth. My husband, who I met not long after getting into fandom, also knows about it, and he’s encouraging and also a writer so we talk all the time. I told my mom in college and she was pretty dismissive, so we haven’t talked about it since (but my younger sister knows and is cool about it).

When I was younger, it was something I shared readily (I bonded with a new friend in law school I saw looking at LJ), but now I don’t really bring it up with new acquaintances.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I just made a Carrd the other day with all my various fannish addresses (Twitter, locked fannish Twitter, AO3, Tumblr)

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that it really was a high quality fandom — so much excellent long casefic, so many cool down to earth people, just generally a great launching place for a young fan. The friendships I made with older people were really important to me, and it makes me sad to see a lot of younger people now getting upset about the idea of anyone over a certain age being in their fandom spaces. I hope someday fandom can get back to appreciating that people of all ages can be the fandom type, and that everyone brings something different to the community.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 1, 2020)

[babie-jeno]

no longer.

genre: fluff-ish, angst, non-idol, female reader, cupid au

warnings: prolly some inaccuracies in the origins of cupids, major character death, su/cide

word count: 2200

synopsis: Every baby born under the Venus bloodline were assigned a cupid and a soulmate. Cupids would care for the Venus babies and guide them to their soulmate. Once they fell in love with their soulmate, the cupid would have to bid their goodbyes and move on to the next Venus baby in line. Cupids are incapable of love. Despite being the epitome of love, they themselves are unlovable. Jeno has been a cupid caring for countless Venus bloodline babies since the beginning of their time. Jeno enjoyed all of his Venus bloodline babies he has cared for but he was always envious of his Venus babies. They would always grow up to live a happily, lovingly, and long life with their soulmate, something he longed for but was supposedly incapable of. Then he took care of you...

_______________________________________________

Since the beginning of their creation, Jeno has been a cupid caring for countless Venus bloodline babies. He enjoyed his time with all of those he was assigned, but he always nursed an envy of them. They would grow up to live a long happily loving life with their soulmate, something he longed for but was supposedly incapable of. Then he took care of you...

_______________________________________________

Jeno stood on a cliff stretching his beautiful long white wings and adjusted his crooked and dull gold halo. He was about to fly home after bidding goodbye to his Venus offspring named Chen, who had just hosted his wedding and was getting ready to go on his honeymoon with his pregnant soulmate. Jeno had spent 28 years preparing, planning, and perfecting Chen’s love story.

When he arrived home, he had expected the gods to give him a break, as he has been working back to back on Venus bloodline babies for quite some time. 127 years to be precise.

As usual, the gods summoned his presence and demanded his technical works to be put to use for the next Venus offspring. They informed him the offspring was a female. Jeno tilted his head, confused. He had worked with only a handful of female Venus offsprings. He was only assigned them once every blue moon because he specialized in males. The gods dramatically laughed at his confusion, “Trust us, you would not be our first choice either, but Wendy failed her mission with a female baby. Nature is replenishing herself, and Wendy is now sentenced to 145 years in the garden. No cupids are available, so you can take it, or you can leave it and serve the 145 years for Miss Wendy. You wouldn’t want that, though, am I right?” Jeno scoffed and glared at the gods.

“I’ll take it.”

_______________________________________________

Your loud cries and your mother’s pants filled the labor room. “It’s a girl!” the doctor shouts. Jeno looked down on the room and smiled. You were absolutely precious.

_______________________________________________

Every night, Jeno would watch your crib to protect you from any lurking danger. He would tuck you into bed after your mother left. Before that, though, your mother would tell you every night before you went to sleep, “Angels are watching over you.” Little did she know, she was correct.

______________________________________________

You were only 8 years old when you encountered your first bully. Jeno watched from afar, and his heart clenched at the sight of your glassy eyes threatening to spill. He had decided to take form of a younger boy to protect you. It was a risk for cupids to actually participate in their Venus baby’s life, but he simply couldn’t bear another moment in the presence of your sadness. He took into form, fought off the bullies, and comforted you. You felt so small in his arms; you felt right.

Jeno had only expected to protect you in the human boy form this one time, but you didn’t socialize much after getting bullied. So, he took it upon himself to be your companion because it would be easier to protect you, right? Changing his appearance to seem human took a lot of his cupid energy, but he endured it for you. You were so lovely and kind. He couldn’t understand why the humans didn’t fancy you, but the humankind was always confusing him, so he wasn’t surprised.

_______________________________________________

You had invited him over for a movie marathon night at your house, a tradition that you guys have religiously done since you were 8. You had put on your pjs and were patiently waiting for Jeno to show up. You heard 5 hard rhythmic knocks, a code the two of you had created when you were 10. You ran to open the door to greet him and spent the night eating snacks and watching scary movies in his arms. Jeno watched as you fell asleep. He caressed your face and your nose scrunched at the sudden touch; he couldn’t help but giggle. You were so cute. He picked you up bridal style and tuck you into bed, just like he has every night since you were born.

_______________________________________________

When you were 16 you experienced your first real crush named Chan. Jeno was petrified. He knew Chan was not your soulmate, as his halo didn’t glow brightly to indicate a Venus soulmate. He knew the moment you introduced Chan to him that there was potential for your heart to be broken. For years, Jeno had managed to subside small childish crushes, but you were gonna be an adult soon and your feelings were slipping through his fingers. His also knew his job was to protect you and guide you to your soulmate, so he demanded you to quit seeing this stupid waste of a crush.

“Y/n, are you out of your mind? He is no good for you! What do you gain from this stupid boy?!” he yelled at you.

You were greatly astounded by his harsh tone. He had never once used such tone towards you in your many years of wonderful friendship. Was this the same boy who protected you from bullies, babied you, cuddled and tucked you in all night every halloween? Your eyes became glassy, just like the first time you met him. Looking into your eyes, he realized how he had hurt you. How could he? He questioned himself. In that moment, he understood he wasn’t doing his job. Yes, he was trying to protect you, but you ignited this fire in him. You made him feel pain, in the sense of love? He had feelings for you. Impossible, he thought. Cupids were practically feelingless beings who provided the feelings. Then, he said the 3 words cupids were forbidden to say.

“I love you.”

The air was thick, and your glassy eyes softened. You took a big step towards him and pecked his lips. Jeno was alarmed but was distracted by your soft lips against his. You cannot love him; it was no good for you or for him. Your life would end short if you rejected your soulmate and loved another, especially a cupid. For Jeno, he would spend 100+ years in the garden, and the gods would torture him and strip his memories of the mission he failed. Which means he would forget you. He couldn’t risk that. He wants to remember you. Jeno pushed you off and stormed away.

You laid in bed that night sobbing. Jeno watched from above, waiting for you to sleep and tucking you in.

_______________________________________________

Countless failed attempts of contacting Jeno lead to many missed calls and pathetic voicemails. You eventually gave up, and you never saw Jeno again. You went to your dream university that Jeno granted with the snap of his fingers. You lived comfortably, and every morning you went to the same coffee shop around the corner. You were standing in line when someone bumped into you, spilling their iced americano all over your white t-shirt. He panicked, “Omg, I’m sorry! Here’s my sweater”.

You only laughed. He was tall and extremely handsome. “It’s okay, my name is y/n,” you said and took his sweater.

“I’m Johnny,” he smiled. Jeno stood above, halo shining brightly. You had met your soulmate.

_______________________________________________

Years into dating Johnny and you were beyond happy, but something in you still thought about Jeno. Jeno knew you still thought about him, but he still needed to accomplish his mission. You needed to marry and accept your soulmate. Johnny stood in the jewelry store looking for a new watch when he glanced at the wedding rings. Jeno took the chance to whisper little persuasive words in Johnny’s ear, “Do it.” Johnny blinked and bought a beautiful diamond ring. On his way to his car, he texted you. “Babe dust off that red dress. We’re going dancing”. You replied with “so sudden but ok babe lol”.

_______________________________________________

You were in your red dress, slow dancing with Johnny. You were simply just enjoying the other’s presence, when Johnny got on one knee and proposed to you. Of course you said yes, Jeno made sure of it. He watched as his plan worked from above. Not his best delivery, but it succeeded. His time with you was running out.

_______________________________________________

The day had finally come, and you were finally getting married. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, and you started to get the jitters. Do you want to marry Johnny? Are you ready? Why was Jeno on your mind; it’s been years? You panicked and started to pack your stuff. You grabbed a pen to write a letter to apologize to Johnny.

You weren’t the only frantic one. Jeno panicked and showed his true form. He grabbed your wrist before you could begin to write. You looked up and were taken back by his halo, his lack of clothes, and his huge wings. “J-jeno?” He cupped your chubby cheeks and looked dead into your glassy eyes. Oh was he was gonna miss those dazzling eyes. You were as gorgeous and beautiful as ever, he thought.

His eyes glowed a bright pink, and he began to compel you,

“I love you, but you need to marry Johnny. You won’t remember me. You fought your bullies alone, and every year you spend Halloween alone, your first crush Chan rejected you, and Jeno never existed, and you love Johnny so, so, so much. You’ll forget you tried to ran. You’re gonna walk down that aisle, get married, go on your honeymoon, have kids, and grow old with Johnny. I’m gonna kiss you and you’ll forget everything associated with me.” You were overwhelmed, and you were about to speak when Jeno kissed you and disappeared.

Your memories were wiped. You looked around. Why were your things packed? You could’ve sworn you had already unpacked. Why was there a pen in your hands? What were you gonna write down? One of your bridesmaids walked into the room, “You’ll be walking down in 10.” She looked at your lips and pointed at her own, “You have a little smear here.” You awkwardly laughed, looked in the mirror, and cleaned up. You could’ve sworn the smear wasn’t there a moment ago. Jeno watched and smiled at your confusion. Johnny is one lucky man.

______________________________________________

Again, he stood on the same cliff stretching his long white wings with a crooked and dull halo. Was this all to his life? Mission after mission with no love to share? He flew home and again the gods called for him. They were probably wondering why was he home early. His mission wasn’t finished until you said those 2 bonding words, but he couldn’t bear it anymore. Instead of going to the gods, he went to the garden, where they held prisoners and golden arrows. Cupids are immortals beings, but magic always has a loophole. Every cupid has their own golden arrow capable of taking their life. It’s what the gods used to threaten cupids into working in love labor. He grabbed his arrow when the guard was not looking and flew back to the cliff. Jeno opened a portal to watch you walk down the aisle and say your vows. God did he wish it was him you were marrying. The priest began to say his line,

"Do you, Y/n take Johnny Suh as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

“I do.”

You said those two words that bonded you to life with your Venus soulmate. Which meant Jeno had officially finished his mission.

“She no longer needs me,” Jeno spoke before he pierced his heart with his golden arrow.

_______________________________________________

2 years after your wedding, you and Johnny began to try to start a family. You were happy to find out you were pregnant and that your due date was Halloween. You don’t really know when it began or why, but Halloween has always been your favorite holiday. You had expected for a baby girl, so you chose the name Yeeun.

Like clockwork, you began to go into labor Halloween morning. Johnny rushed you to the hospital. You were emitted to a labor room and gave birth. “It’s a boy!” the doctor shouted. You and Johnny were confused, since you had been expecting a girl.

“What would you like to name this baby boy?” the nurse asked. You were in deep thought.

“Oh we haven’t thought abou-.”

You interrupted Johnny with, “Jeno, J-Jeno, yeah Jeno his name is Jeno.” You don’t know what compelled you to say such an uncommon name, but it felt familiar, comfortable even.

_______________________________________________

this was based off a dream I had so like dhjdfnnsdk