#but i also understand that it kinda undercuts a lot of whats currently canon

[jocelynmakenna]

Ok who wants to hear my luxon/moon gods theory?

Wow you're still here? Okay let's get started.

Theory: the luxon (a being of light) and some unnamed being of darkness are the two gods locked in the moon prison.

"That's not a hot take" you say. Yes, correct. I have a lot of evidence though (because I'm fucking insane).

Let's start with what we know from Matt's explanation from the C2 wrap up (3:33:00ish). I will note, he specifically says this is a creation myth, so I am cherry picking data to fit my theory because it's a myth and I think it's fun. ANYWAYS!! Matt says the luxon is a being of light, born with the universe, and wants companionship. The luxon finds a cold rock and embraces it with its light etc etc. The one thing I will note here specifically, is that Matt notes that the luxon desires to bring life to this cold dead rock (exandria) but when it does so, the elements erupt into chaos. So, my thought is that when the luxon/this being of light shows up to exandria, the cold darkness it is met with is some other being, a being of darkness, and once it embraces the world, the clashing of the light and the dark is what causes the elements to erupt.

For a more sane (and probable) ending to this set up, the light and the dark are fighting. The luxon creates life by giving sentience to the primordials, but life isn't good because 2 opposite forces are at war. So when the wandering gods show up and kick start the founding, the luxon and the darkness are still fighting and they are threatening their precious creations/paper dolls. So the gods lock up the gods in the moon to save their creations.

"But what about the beacons!?!?" I hear you screaming and crying about. Well, the kryn believe that the luxon split itself into the beacons in hopes one day sentience would form and reassemble it so it could have an introspective moment. I simply think that's a WILD FUCKING PLAN so let's talk about some theories. First, we need to establish a timeline of WHEN people got the beacons. According to the kryn, it's implied it's pre-founding, but I don't think that's right. See in the exu intros, the stained glass only show events that have already happened. In exu prime and kymal, the beacon glass floats above a pair of hands, as humans have the beacons. BUT in the calamity intro, the beacon floats on its own, no hands. Through everything I've seen, the beacons may not have gotten into human hands until the calamity started! (If u look at aeor's timeline, it fits. Their experimentation with it could have started post calamity kick off). So assuming that I'm interpreting the beacon imagery correctly, humans get the beacons during the calamity...

I think there's two options for the beacons.

1) the kryn were more correct in timeline. When the luxon and the darkness were locked in the moon, either both of them or just the light, split themselves (or got split up) into beacons that were then hidden from the people as they were just too powerful. They weren't found until the calamity because the gods had Other Things to deal with.

2) the kryn were less correct in time. This has less evidence but man it's fun. Imagine, if you will, a being of light and a being of darkness, trapped in a prison with a city of your most loyal followers. And you look upon the planet you once called home and you see these invaders. Gods that were not from here, that locked you away to play with their toys, destroying your home. What do you do? You break parts of your power, just small enough to get through the gate that surrounds your prison. A gift to the people who call your planet home. A way to literally rewrite the fabric of reality, to change time, to change the odds in their favor.

Does option #2 make sense given what we have? Not entirely, but it doesn't break canon at all. But I do want to keep going on this thread, if the kryn and vasselhiem and the collective history of exandria is fundamentally different than what we know. Do I think what I'm about to type is going to happen? Probably not, because narratively, it probably won't be as satisfying, but it would certainly be something.

Let's start at the beginning. Darkness on exandria, luxon shows up, fighting between the luxon and the darkness causes elements to go sicko mode and perhaps the creation of the primordials via the luxon's influence and want of sentient life. Here's where we get into the red thread conspiracy theory: the luxon is also responsible for the founding. The humanoid species of exandria come into existence at this time, with the only divinity being from the luxon and the darkness. The world isn't great, the primordials are stirring up shit, the gods are constantly fighting, so a bunch of people form a cult of some kind (perhaps referring to each other as brother and sister). They use an apogee solstice to ascend to godhood and lock the old gods into their own prison.

I'm sure you think there are plot holes here but let's walk through some stuff. First off, this idea came from zerxus's line in calamity that said basically that humans were always here (on exandria), that the gods never created, they just came and shaped. That humans/humanoids weren't created by the gods, perhaps by something much older. But if you think that the most kind gods would know enough to know that their story is a lie and perhaps give hints to followers about the truth should it save their lives, I offer you a different line from calamity. Brennan says as the Lord of the hells, that he no longer remembers his brother (the old god of death's) name. That somehow, the power of ascension of a mortal was enough to rewrite the memory of a god. This could mean that when the pantheon ascended, that they literally rewrote EVERYONE'S memories, including their own.

Do I think that these theories I have word barfed here are correct? Maybe? I don't think all of them are off base, though some probably more than others. I think a mix of things could happen, ie the luxon and darkness being the ones to kick start the founding and the pantheon was a later addition to exandria. Or that the beacons were later additions but the gods were humans and ascended.

Some fun stuff to theorize about I'd love to know y'all's thoughts (aka the 3 people that are actually gonna read this I'm so sorry this is so long).

[sovereign-of-shipping]

@infinadow-week Day 3: Fear/Happiness Word Count: 4750 words Pairing: Infinadow, Shadfinite Summary: After being taken into custody, Infinite contemplates on who and what led him to where he is now. A/N: Hey, I kinda feel like some of us just kinda ignore how canon implies that Shadow might have killed the Jackal Squad, so I just… *soft shoes away awkwardly* There are mentions of death in this, so reader discretion advised. I can’t call this shippy, but I felt like it had to be addressed between these two before I could move onto the other prompts. Also this one is... long, so buckle in.

Infinite awoke in a hospital bed, his wrists bound to the railings. Not that he was much of a threat in his weakened state, but he supposed he couldn’t blame them for being cautious. He had nearly destroyed the world as they knew it, after all.

The room he was in held no windows or other beds, but there was an abundance of monitors and equipment that surrounded his bed. Everything in the room was a sickening shade of white, from the ceiling to the floors to the sheets he was tangled in. The lamp behind his bed was the only thing that illuminated the room.

His aches returned, causing him to wince again. Infinite attempted to bring his hand to his chest, but was cruelly reminded of his restraints. He growled angrily before he leaned towards the right rail where his wrist was bound. Once he was close enough, Infinite used his hand to grip the collar of his hospital gown.

Infinite peered down his gown to gaze at his chest. The Phantom Ruby remained, but it was not glowing as brightly as it once did. He supposed it had to do with his weakened state and lack of power supply to keep it charged. Still, it was a wonder that it glowed at all.

His thoughts were interrupted by another wave of pain and his hand gripped his collar tightly as he let out another cry. Once the pain subsided, Infinite released his hold on his collar and fell back against his bed. Another twinge of pain caused him to suck in air through his teeth sharply, but he didn’t cry out again.

Infinite had grown so used to the unlimited power of the Ruby that he had forgotten what life was like before it. The strength that once coursed through his veins was but a fleeting memory, and some part of him wished he could recall it in its entirety.

Aside from how he was rescued by Shadow and his team, he was having trouble recalling what had led him to back to Dr. Eggman’s Mystic Jungle base. Was it the Phantom Ruby trying to save him? Or was he lulled there by some other, unknown force? He had no clue.

Infinite didn’t like not knowing things.

He may not have been traditionally educated by any means, but even he knew that knowledge was power. He liked to know what he was getting into, what kind of threat he was up against. It was through his study and analysis of Sonic that he was able to defeat him in the first place. Not that it did him much good when Sonic and his companion defeated him, of course.

Infinite clenched his teeth. That was the last thing he could recall before finding himself in the Mystic Jungle base. He still didn’t understand how it happened. Infinite had the Phantom Ruby and just a few months before, he had brought Sonic the Hedgehog down to his knees. Yet, when their final battle was over, Infinite was the one to fall to his.

It just didn’t make sense.

“Your mask can’t hide how sad and lonely you are!”

As much as he hated to admit it, the blue rodent’s words had struck a chord with him. Sonic couldn’t have had any way of knowing who he really was or what had happened to him that fateful night in the Mystic Jungle. He couldn’t have known about what happened to his squad.

Ra, just thinking about it made him seethe.

After hearing of his squad’s defeat, Infinite’s fury had blinded him to the power his opponent held. He knew how strong Shadow was. He knew who he was and just what he was capable of. He just didn’t care.

In the moments after his defeat, Infinite was shaken. He had spent years building himself up, building his squad up. He led raid after raid, stealing and bartering their way through to get better, stronger, fiercer. He was their leader, the ultimate mercenary, and they were proud to follow after him.

When Shadow defeated him, it brought him back to a time before that. Before he was as strong as he was, he had been so incredibly weak. He thought he rid himself of the person he was before. He thought he had gotten better. He thought he had gotten stronger.

That night, he realized he wasn’t even close.

It took a lot for Infinite not to break down at the memory of what came after his defeat. While he was furious at how easily defeated he had been, his anger multiplied when he recalled the swift defeat of his members. However, that anger was undercut almost immediately upon reconvening with Dr. Eggman.

The doctor had been so furious in his call to Infinite. He had called his squad-- his own squad-- worthless. However, when Infinite returned to the lab to meet up with the doctor, his whole tone had changed radically. All of his rage had evaporated into something more somber, almost mournful. When he received the news, Infinite soon understood why.

“When I heard that your squad had been defeated, I wasn’t aware of how serious the damage was,” Dr. Eggman told him, his voice grave, “I sent out a couple of bots to gather them all up, but…”

At first, he was certain the doctor was trying to pull something over him. When Dr. Eggman said his squad had been defeated, he didn’t consider anything beyond what he had been subject to. Instead, he learned that his fate was a luckier one than his squadmates.

When Infinite asked to see his squad, Dr. Eggman had been reluctant. He hadn’t understood why at the time. Then, Dr. Eggman led him towards a section of the lab that hadn’t undergone such serious damage. At their arrival, Infinite immediately took notice of the four forms that laid beneath ghostly white sheets.

“There was… nothing we could do,” Dr. Eggman sighed. He dragged a hand down his face. “I am so sorry, Captain, but not even my medic-bots could save them.”

For a long moment, the world stood still. Infinite was certain his heart had stopped beating along with it. This wasn’t right. It was a trick. It had to be a trick. His entire squad, his pack that he had known for years, were gone, just like that. It felt like an awful joke that he wasn’t in on.

Before Dr. Eggman could stop him, he sprinted towards his squad. Infinite pulled the sheet back, hoping to find a misunderstanding, a mistake, anything that would tell him what he heard wasn’t the truth. He pulled back the sheets that covered the rest of his squadmates and felt his heart sink further and further as he confirmed his worst fears.

Gone. They were all gone.

Infinite closed his eyes to keep the tears back, but all it did was bring the recollection of that night back to the forefront of his mind. When he opened his eyes again, he could still see them, still and lifeless.

The aches in Infinite’s chest were a painful reminder of his failure, not just to the doctor, but to his squad. He wanted to bring them justice, to bring that accursed hedgehog to his knees. He had everything taken from him; Infinite would see to it that the same would be done to him. But he would have never stand a chance against him in a rematch. He barely stood a chance when he had his squad with him and now, he was alone.

Or, so he thought.

“With the power of the Ruby, you can reach strength that no one else has ever known,” Dr. Eggman had told him. “Not even the ultimate lifeform can fathom the power that comes from this.”

Infinite could still recall how shocked he was. “You want me to use the Ruby?”

“Yes,” the doctor replied, “I know you think that you’re weak… but if you take this power, then that weakness will be but a thing of the past. Everyone will know your power.”

“How can you expect me to use that kind of power?” Infinite challenged. He closed his eyes. “I’m… I’m nothing without my squad.

“Perhaps…” Dr. Eggman held the Ruby up to Infinite. “But with this, you’ll be infinite.”

Creeeeak.

Infinite’s ears perked up at the sound. He opened his eyes and he turned to see the door to his prison open. A figure, shrouded in the darkness, stepped inside. Infinite narrowed his eyes in focus on the figure, and, as his eyes registered who he was seeing, his heart froze in his chest.

“You,” Infinite breathed.

His visitor did not give any sign of acknowledgement and stepped over into the pale light. He looked just as he did the last time Infinite saw him, bringing yet another stab of fear. Infinite wanted to act unafraid, but he was helpless in his current state.

“You’re awake,” said Shadow, his arms crossed, “that makes this easier.”

Infinite seethed quietly. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here because I need to ask you some questions,” Shadow replied, his eyes fixed on him. He gazed at Infinite’s wrists. “How do you feel? Are the inhibitor rings working?”

“Don’t pretend that you care about how I feel,” Infinite spat. The fear within him quickly turned to anger. “You just think you can just waltz in here? After everything you’ve done?”

After a brief moment of silence, Shadow stepped towards the side of Infinite’s bed. Infinite steeled himself with his anger, his hands gripping the rails of the bed tightly. He hoped Shadow wouldn’t see them shaking.

“You’re lucky you’re alive,” Shadow said simply, “I’d be acting a little less angry and a little more grateful, considering I saved your life.”

He winced when his aches returned. Shadow’s hand went to grab his wrist, but he jerked it away. “Don’t touch me.”

Shadow’s eyes narrowed. “Take it easy. You’re going to make your condition worse.”

Infinite opened his mouth to shoot back a reply, but the pain took over once more. He clenched his teeth to avoid letting out any sounds of discomfort. It would be a long time before he let anyone see him so weak, let alone Shadow.

“Why are you here?” he managed to grind out.

“I told you,” Shadow replied, “I have a couple of questions and it looks like you’re the only one who can answer them.”

“I’m not telling you anything,” Infinite snarled.

Shadow narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be making threats, Zero.”

The air left Infinite’s lungs and his eyes went wide. “H-How…?”

“I work for the government,” Shadow snapped, “you think we don’t have access to a worldwide database that could help us find out who you really are?”

Infinite went still, his mouth agape.

“Cut the crap,” Shadow demanded, “I need you to talk, so talk.”

Infinite clenched his teeth. “Go to hell.”

Shadow inhaled sharply. “Zero, look at yourself. You lost. Stop fighting and just talk to us.”

“You want me to talk?” Infinite felt something in him snap. “Fine, then, I’ll talk.” He sat up in his bed, pushing himself forward with his hands on the railings. “Back when you attacked the doctor’s base in the Mystic Jungle, you took on a team with four members of the Jackal Squad.” His eyes narrowed, his gaze intense. “My Jackal Squad.”

Shadow was silent, which only made Infinite angrier.

“Do you remember them, Shadow?” he questioned. When Shadow didn’t respond, Infinite shook his head. “Of course you don’t. You didn’t even remember me, so why would you remember them?”

When Shadow didn’t stop him, he continued. “After our fight - if you can even call it that - I was ordered by the doctor to come inside the hideout. I knew my squad had been defeated, but… I didn’t know just how bad it was.”

The anger inside him stayed strong, and it only grew when Shadow continued to stand there, silent. Infinite shook his head. “You don’t even know what you did, did you? You still think this was just a matter of pride? That I joined the doctor for the fun of it?”

He had been so angry when he saw what had happened to his squad. He had trained them to be the best, and even that hadn’t been enough to save them. He had failed them. And now he was being interrogated by their murderer.

“When I came into the base, Dr. Eggman gave me the news,” he said gravely. Infinite closed his eyes and shook his head.

“What makes you think I was the one responsible?” Shadow asked, finally breaking his silence. When Infinite opened his eyes, he faced Shadow with renewed anger.

“They had been killed in a chaos blast,” Infinite said finally, his voice tight. “It was totally fatal. Overkill, if you ask me.”

Shadow’s eyes widened. “What?”

“My squad,” Infinite said, his voice rising, “died because you killed them with a chaos blast. And now, you have the nerve to just stand there and act surprised about it? How dare you?”

“That…” Shadow tried to say, “that shouldn’t be possible.”

“It was a chaos blast!” Infinite screamed. He raised his arms up, but his restraints cut them short. “You used your chaos powers and you killed all of them!”

“Did Dr. Eggman tell you that?” Shadow questioned. The fact that Shadow was able to remain so calm after being faced with the fact that he committed murder brought forth another wave of anger Infinite didn’t think he was even capable of feeling.

“Tell me about it?” Infinite almost laughed. “I saw it for myself! I walked into the base and I saw their bodies with my own two eyes! It’s a damned miracle I could even tell who was who!”

The walls he had built within himself, the walls he built to keep himself from falling apart, came tumbling down. The anger that he used to build a shield around his heart came burning out of him like an inferno. The pain in his chest felt like a brand, searing and hot, but he didn’t care.

“I saw what you did!” Infinite continued, his voice rising. He raised his arms, but they were bound to the bed. “They weren’t just drones or bots; they were alive and breathing! And you took all of it away!”

He was shaking again, but it wasn’t from fear. There was pure, unadulterated rage bursting from within him, barely contained within his frame. For months, he had pushed down the anger, convinced himself that he was stronger on his own. Now that he was weak and alone, he had nothing left to hold him back. He had no one left to hold him back.

“You took all of it away!” he screamed again. “You didn’t care about who they were or what their lives meant! They were my family, you son of a bitch!”

Once he said it, the room went silent. Shadow stood there, eyes wide, while Infinite sat up in his bed, breathing raggedly. Infinite’s hands were on the railing of his bed, shaking. He gripped onto the railing in a vain attempt to gather himself, but the damage was already done.

“They… were my family…” Infinite whispered. He felt tears start to fall, and for a moment, he wondered if they had been in his eyes the whole time. He wanted to cover his mouth to smother any sounds that might come out, but his restraints prevented it. Instead, he screwed his eyes shut and bit down on his lower lip, trembling like a leaf.

In that moment, Infinite realized just how alone he felt. His squad had been there for him, and without them, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He wasn’t strong enough to protect them; and now they were gone. They never would have died if he hadn’t brought them to the jungle that night. He brought them to the Mystic Jungle, to Shadow, and they died because of it.

His squad… His family… was dead. There was no one there to save Infinite from the hell he had created for himself. He was going to suffer the consequences of his actions alone, and he had no one to blame for it but himself. He wrought destruction upon the world, and all for what? His squad was still dead.

It had all been for nothing.

“Zero.”

Hearing his name -- the name he once called himself -- brought him back to earth. Shadow stood still and watched him for a moment, then took a deep breath.

“I came here because I needed to know what happened that night,” Shadow said finally, “because truth be told, I had a hard time remembering what happened the night we met.”

If Infinite weren’t so tired, he would have started yelling again. But, the look on Shadow’s face left more to be told.

“I knew about your squad before coming in here,” Shadow told him, “they’re listed as affiliates in your file. When we tried locating them to learn more about you… we couldn’t find anything. So, we decided to comb through the Mystic Jungle base and…”

Infinite sat impatiently when Shadow paused.

“...We found the burial site for your squad members,” Shadow admitted.

“So you knew.” Infinite had to swallow the lump in his throat.

Shadow closed his eyes. “When I saw them, I asked myself… Did I do that? Because I didn’t remember. I thought that the doctor lied to you to turn you over to his side, so that you’d hate me, hate Sonic, but...” He shook his head. “I knew I used my chaos powers that night, but I didn’t think it would… It was just supposed to…”

He went silent. Infinite gripped the railings of his bed. Was he trying to say it was an accident? That he didn’t mean to destroy his squad? That Infinite supposed to feel sorry for him?

“When I realized what had happened, I told the Commander about my involvement,” Shadow continued, surprising Infinite, “and they decided to go through the base to investigate.

“If that’s the case…” Infinite said slowly, “then why are you interrogating me? Shouldn’t you be the one being interrogated?”

Shadow closed his eyes. “Here’s where things get complicated… When we looked through the base, we some found security tapes from the video cameras around the hideout.” He opened his eyes to look at Infinite. “Those tapes had audio and visual recordings of you and your squad while you were down at the base.”

“What?” Infinite exclaimed.

“We also found some files on you and your squad members on his computers. The information predates your employment under him.” Shadow crossed his arms. “It would seem he knew a bit more about you and your squad than he let on.”

“What?”

“That’s not all,” Shadow continued, “we decided to review the tapes and we found some rather interesting information in regards to your… employment, under the doctor.”

Infinite was silent, in total disbelief.

“You were planning on betraying him.” Shadow’s gaze seemed to pierce right through him. “After you joined forces with him, you were planning on taking him down and turning him in for the bounty… weren’t you?”

“I… I didn’t think he…” Infinite trailed off.

“He saw the tapes,” Shadow told him, “he had to have.”

Infinite’s mouth remained open. For the longest moment, he couldn’t speak, think, or even breathe properly. Then, finally, he managed to get out one word:

“Why?”

Shadow arched a brow. “Why what?”

“Why… would he offer me the Ruby if he knew that I was…?”

“That’s what we wanted to figure out,” Shadow told him, “and the Commander believed that it called into question of whether or not I was responsible for what happened to your squad.”

Infinite felt like he had been punched in the gut. His squad… the reason why they were… it was all because of…

He gripped the railings of his bed shakily. “Eggman killed my squad.”

Shadow closed his eyes again. “My guess: he decided to get rid of you all before you could get rid of him.”

“But… why keep me alive?”

“That’s the part we had trouble with,” Shadow admitted. He shook his head. “None of us understood it. If he wanted you all dead, he could have done it easily. Instead, he decided to keep you alive, and, most confusing yet, offer you the Phantom Ruby.”

Infinite glanced down at his chest. “But why?”

Shadow looked down. “In order to answer that… we had to find out what really happened to your squad. So…”

“So, what?” Infinite questioned. His patience was growing thin.

Shadow turned back to him. “We… decided to exhume your squad for investigative purposes.”

Infinite seized up. “You dug up my squad?”

“We had to be sure,” Shadow told him, as if that was supposed to make it better.

“You dug up my squad,” Infinite repeated, a growl rising up in his throat, “how dare you?”

“I know how upset you are.” Shadow sighed. “It’s just…”

Infinite growled. “Just what?”

“...We didn’t find anything there.”

Infinite went still. “What?”

“The burial site,” Shadow clarified. He closed his eyes. “There… weren’t any bodies buried there.”

“What?” Infinite shook his head. “N-No, that’s… not right. I… I had to… I was the one who…”

“Zero,” Shadow said, his voice gentle, “when did you bury the squad?”

It hurt to think about it. When he saw them lying there on the ground, lifeless and cold, Infinite couldn’t bear it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I… I carried them outside,” Infinite began.

“Alone?”

He shook his head. “No. Eggman and some of his bots helped me carry them.”

“Did you bury them alone?” Shadow asked.

“No,” Infinite said again, “they stayed and helped me.”

“So Eggman was with you the whole time?” Shadow questioned, his eyes staring intently at Infinite.

Infinite furrowed his brows. “What does it matter? He was with me when I had to bury them, just like he was when I had to identify their bod--”

Infinite’s eyes went wide. A slow, horrifying chill overtook his body as the realization dawned on him. He slowly looked down at his chest, still hidden by his hospital gown. The Phantom Ruby pulsed silently.

“Shadow…” Infinite began. He looked back up at Shadow with terror. “Are you trying to say that…”

Shadow didn’t reply.

“No.” Infinite shook his head. “No, that can’t be… that can’t be right. I saw them. I saw them!”

“Zero,” Shadow said quietly, but Infinite could hardly hear him.

“I-I saw their bodies,” Infinite breathed, his eyes still wide, “I had to bury them! Why would the doctor… why would he trick me? Why? What could he have to gain from it? Why would he do that?”

“Zero,” Shadow repeated, a little firmer than before. Infinite looked at him. “I don’t know why he tricked you, alright? For all we know, it could have just been a sick game for him to play to get back at your for planning to betray him.”

He turned away from Zero, his hand going to his face. Shadow dragged his palm down slowly. “Now we know how he did it…”

The room was silent for a long moment. Infinite was still reeling. How could this be? Why would Eggman trick him? Why would he go through that much trouble to just to trick him into being on his side? And why did he have those files on him and his squad? Had he been planning it from the get-go? Or had he gotten the files to better understand him, to better understand how to manipulate him into working for him?

It was all so much to take in. He had so many questions, and he knew the answers wouldn’t come to him in that moment. However, one question came to the forefront of his mind and pushed all the other ones away.”

“But… if it was a trick…” Infinite began. He swallowed. “Then what really happened to my squad?”

For the longest moment, Shadow didn’t say anything. His back remained turned towards him, so Infinite couldn’t see the look on his face. Finally, he turned around.

“Once we realized what had happened, we started looking into where they could have been taken to,” Shadow answered slowly, “we started by checking some of Dr. Eggman’s known hideouts and bases, then extended the search to cities and towns where he held control until the final battle of the war.”

Infinite almost forgot the war had even happened, that’s how overwhelmed he was. “And? What did you find?”

Shadow’s expression softened. “They were being held captive in one of his bases. By the time we got there, they had already started to tear the place apart.”

“They’re alive?” Infinite whispered. He felt like he was going to choke.

“They’re alive,” Shadow repeated.

“Where are they?” Infinite tried to move, but his restraints prevented him. “I have to see them! Are they alright?”

For the first time since he walked into the room, Shadow smiled. “Why don’t you ask them yourself?”

Before Infinite could fully process what he meant, Shadow brought his fingers to his lips and whistled. “Guys, you can come in now.”

The door to the room burst open and light flooded in from the hallway. As Infinite’s eyes adjusted, a form broke through the light and into the room.

“Boss!”

Right as he heard it, he felt arms swing around his body and squeeze tightly. He looked down and saw short, messy hair tied up in a green bandana.

“Jay?” he whispered, looking down in disbelief.

Jay looked up at him with a wide grin, tears shining in his eyes. “Hiya, boss. Long time no see, huh?”

Then, another pair of arms wrapped around him. Infinite looked to his left and saw a red beret pressed up against his shoulder. “Pierce?”

“You’re alive!” Pierce exclaimed. They looked up, tear stains on their cheeks. “You’re alive!”

A lump rose up in his throat, but Infinite didn’t have to do anything about it when he felt someone climb into the hospital bed with him. He turned. “Lance?”

Lance smiled warmly at him and slung his arm around Infinite and the other around Pierce, who was still crying. He buried his face into Infinite’s neck, his arms enveloping both squadmates tightly.

“We missed you,” he said quietly.

Infinite didn’t get to reply when he felt another person hop onto the right side of the bed. He turned and his heart nearly stopped. “Tempie?”

Tempest didn’t hug him right away, but her expression was soft. Her hair was down from her usual ponytail and hung loosely around her. Her eyes shone. “Hi, Zero. Did you miss us?”

Infinite’s eyes began to burn and he felt his lip begin to quiver. He closed his eyes and felt the tears run, but he clenched his teeth to stifle his cries. Tempest wrapped her arms around him and Jay, who was burrowed into his chest. He didn’t care how much it hurt.

“You’re OK,” Infinite whispered, “you’re all OK.”

Jay pulled away. “Yeah, we are! And it’s all thanks to Shadow!”

Infinite blinked and he turned towards Shadow, who remained standing at the bedside. Shadow merely nodded, as if that was all that needed to be said.

“He brought us here as soon as he found us,” Pierce explained. They wiped their cheek fiercely. “He knew you had to see us.”

Infinite glanced back at Shadow, but saw he was on his way out of the room. He looked down at the squad, who were still snuggling up to him and hugging him fiercely.

“Shadow,” he called out.

Shadow paused at the doorway and turned his head. Infinite swallowed the lump in his throat and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, then exhaled and opened his eyes.

“Thank you.”

It hurt to say it, not because he didn’t want to, but because of how raw he felt. He spent months shutting himself away from feeling, from grieving. He thought he was alone, and that he was going to have to brave the consequences on his own. Now that he could see that wasn’t the case anymore, he wasn’t afraid.

Shadow merely smiled back at him. “Anytime.”

A/N:

I’ll take this warmth within,

And send it up above.

Goodbye to dark and fear,

Let’s fill this world with light and love.

I’m here surrounded by a family at last,

We’re never going back,

The past is in the past.

...Y’all know I couldn’t leave you guys without a happy ending. Have a nice little two-in-one prompt!

[tumblunni]

Ok so.. I feel really ungrateful as fuck saying this.. but it kinda bugs me how much perrin being nonbinary just.. isn’t really shown at all.

At least, in what i’ve seen so far, yknow? I watched the first ep of someone else’s let’s play to see if i was gonna like this game, and i like this game SO MUCH that I stopped right there and am downloading it at the speed of light yo!!! My hype is maximum and I really don’t want this to be seen as a hate message or anything, it's just a mild opinion piece about something that bummed me out a little, as a nonbinary person.

Ok so.. again, this makes me sound like an ASSHOLE but I have to say it.. Perrin looks like a boy. 100% of all LPers I have seen have assumed they were a boy. I, a nonbinary person, assumed they were a boy. (And felt like absolute shit afterwards, man I still have to work on my internalized gender stereotypes!)

Now in real life I absolutely wouldn’t go around being some douchebag who tells other NB folk they aren’t dressing ‘right’, or whatever. In real life people can feel very different ways about being outside of conventional gender norms. Some people feel like “both at once” or “neither” or “something else entirely that doesn’t touch either side of our society’s current binary stereotypes”. And regardless of whether you’re agender/bigender/genderfluid or any other type of genderqueer person, your fashion sense doesn’t have to fit any strict rule to “prove” it to people. Some people try and dress in androgenous stuff, some people try to mix parts of both gendered fashion worlds, some people like to wear very neutral baggy stuff as a different way of being androgenous, some people like to wear wild and fun stuff that never had any gender stereotype in the first place/because it helps them feel confident in themself if they have a big brave kind of fashion, yknow? (that’s why I dyed my hair at least, and why I think a lot of lGBT people do) And of course, some people just prefer ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ clothes regardless of not being that gender, and if we can accept that cis women can enjoy ‘tomboy’ fashion then we should accept that trans people don’t have to fit into even more rigid fashion rules in order to ‘earn’ their gender.

BUT this isn’t real life, it’s a videogame

We have a lot more context here, with the context that this is a character designed within a fandom whose previous attempts at NB representation have kinda started setting up a trend. In that context, this is a bit worrying that it’s happened again, and maybe future fangame creators are feeling like they have to do it, or something?

Like the NB protagonist Pluto in Pokemon Uranium.

They’re still someone I deeply love, but their design looks incredibly masculine aside from a side ponytail. If anything their design communicates more that they’re a younger option compared to the other two, or something?

And the two NB protagonist options Ari and Decibel in Pokemon Reborn

Their designs look like more traditionally masculine and feminine-leaning ways of being nonbinary, ykno? And that wouldn’t be bad on it’s own, but let me try and explain what I mean...

A similar issue occurs in the unrelated dating sim Hustle Cat:

Which is generally incredibly progressive and actually the first dating sim I’ve ever seen that lets you play a nonbinary protag! But you still get only two character models to choose from.

Like it’s great that they had two options to aknowledge how not all trans people are the same, but it starts to look a bit.. odd, when those two options are ‘feminine and masculine’ and no form of androgenous is ever an option. or even like.. someone with a ‘masculine’ body build but a ‘feminine’ fashion sense. That would be kind of a stereotypical way to depict a trans character but it wouldn’t just be making a random design that could fit amoungst the already existing gendered protags and then just saying they’re trans. And a lot of people found it weird how these ones seem to be drawn as like.. both on the far masculine end, just a cis man and a trans man.

Like.. even as a nonbinary person myself, I wouldn’t have known these characters were nonbinary if you hadn’t told me. And that leaves me feeling horrible about myself that I judged them on first sight, but I mean this is within a genre of entertainment that’s literally never had any Me in it and i’ve got used to being all ‘no you’re just reading too much into it’ whenever i headcanon anyone as genderqueer...

And just.. I feel like if you’re gonna just draw another two masculine and feminine looking characters, or just a second masculine one (or a weird two masculine ones that’re labelled male and female with no option for in-between...) then couldn’t you have saved time by just letting us choose our pronouns for the two you already had? like I already play a lot of games headcanoning the protag as just a masc-fashion version of my enby self, I feel like kinda the point of adding a third design would be to make it something the others aren’t already delivering. Look at it this way, you already HAVE two nonbinary characters who look masculine and feminine, just like the player could also play them as a trans boy and trans girl. Pronoun selector box is the greatest invention of our time! So what I’m really saying is not “don’t have super masc NB protags” but just “can we have another option too?”

Oh, but then that’s also been done not-so-well by certain games too.. Awesome amazing multiplayer party game dating sim Monster Prom let’s you choose your pronouns!

...except these are your only character options! All of these are very clearly intended to be read as masc or femme, you’re probably gonna feel dysphoric as heck if you play them as trans, and none of them work super well as nonbinary either. I think pretty much every NB player has always gone for Oz (yellow one), cos he’s the one that’s most capable of fitting that headcanon just by virtue of being perpetually shadowed. Tho still his default is “he” pronouns, his fashion sense is masc and his voice is masc. Still I’m really fuckin proud of the fandom for collectively latching onto NB Oz and using “they” all the time in fanworks, and then the developers being okay with it, like holy shit man you healed my goddamn heart... <3

Still, it makes me feel a lil like this would have been easy to fix? like I’m not saying redraw everything to have them all change bodies/fashion style depending on your pronoun choice, but like.. maybe just not draw them with such super disparate body styles in the first place? like in this style every girl is hourglass and has weird legs out arms out pose, and every dude is a chunkfest with twice as big hands and feet. Like you could have maybe just made two of the characters be a very curvy girl and a very buff boy, and then the other two be more neutral in appearance but still retaining the same designs. Like I think if you just gave the blue girl a baggier shirt that doesn’t highlight her boobs and hips so much, she could easily be my favourite ‘most NB-able’ design! maybe also tone down the eyelash and lipstick effects?

I think probably a similar thing could have been done with the Reborn protagonists? like there’s nothing inherantly feminine about wearing a tanktop and having a fancy undercut hairstyle and such, its just the way they drew Ari that makes them look feminine. I guess maybe that’s a necessary evil of fangames, since they usually use edits of already existing characters from the games? Then again the games have plenty of androgenous characters already, even if nobody is canonically confirmed as LGBT. *shrug*

Anyway

I absolutely am not trying to nitpick and attack the game for not being perfect in this one aspect. i’m still super excited to even see someone like me in a videogame at all, and I’m definately not one of those people who’s like ‘I’d rather have nothing than have something flawed’. I already admire you greatly for what you’ve done for the inclusivity of this fandom, and I hope that my discussion of this stuff doesn’t discourage you from continuing.

And I guess my point is, in summary

What I mean is not “there are no nonbinary people who prefer to dress masculine instead of androgenous”, but instead that when you’re designing a nonbinary person as the only option a nonbinary player gets or the only nonbinary person in the game, with no playable option, it would probably be a little better to draw them androgenous.

Like, you’ve put that NB character into the role of representing all nonbinary people ever, to the hypothetical audience of people who’ve never heard of the concept before and aren’t super educated about the intricacies of gender presentation. And then also rather than using traditionally gendered outfits to aknowledge that NB people have many ways to present themselves... you’ve given us less ways to present ourselves.

Also it’s a little bit odd that you have an NB rival but said “we’re not ever considering an NB player option in the future”. Sorry but I cannot understand the logic? Like.. you know NB people play your game if you wanted to put NB representation in it, but you didn’t put it as playable because... reasons?? I hope maybe that interview was just taken out of context and you meant something more like “it’s not planned for now because it’s a lot of work and the game is still in its demo stage”, which is absolutely an understandable reason and how Uranium and Reborn did it. But Uranium and Reborn were kinda odd for being a world where literally nobody else aside from you could ever be NB, so I am really grateful that your game did add an NB character. And one in a big role!! This is what i mean about how grateful I am and how I feel awful that my bad internet typing skills are making this post come off as more aggressive than intended.. *sigh*

OH and also maybe a tip for Periin? just.. like.. mention their pronouns. It’s really frustrating to watch everyone doing let’s plays of this thing and constantly assuming Perrin is male because their design is very masculine. Even me! Even me was assume! :( So like... maybe just have Perrin actually tell the audience that they are nonbinary at some point, during this introduction? or have the protagonist’s inner monologue mention it, or another character mention it on the way towards meeting Perrin? like I dunno, maybe a Perrin fan npc?cos it would seem a bit more natural to talk about gender if it’s someone saying “wow I admire Perrin’s androgenous fashion sense” rather than like.. a stranger saying “i can’t tell if you’re a boy or a girl from your face”.

I can understand how it can be tricky to figure out how to introduce a LGBT character’s LGBT-ness without having them go around saying it to every new person they meet, it’s something I’ve had to fix in the editing process even as a trans person writing trans characters. But just having their gender only be mentioned on missable promotional material outside the game means that a lot of players won’t ever hear about it, and it like.. has zero impact of actual inclusivity on the game. It’s why people were angry about DUmbledore only getting revealed as gay after the series already ended. Him being gay missed all of its chances to make gay readers of the series feel welcome, or have any part of his character be informed by his sexuality. like the plot between him and grindlewold could have been way more effective if it was him losing a boyfriend to the dark arts, just sayin...

anyway whatever, bunni is bad at writing coherant posts in summary thanks for perrin and sorry for whining about perrin, aaaaa

[zenosanalytic]

Reply-Replies to Purified-Zone: Wonder Woman Replies

purified-zone said:

I don’t think her destroying a church was necessarily pro-pagan or anti-church, it was just a casualty of warfare like any other because the setting was that: everything is being destroyed anyway. This is why I was fine with there being so much killing unlike in BvS where it’s not really “justified” at all  

Yeah they probably didn’t mean it that way but I just got a bevy of chuckles out of the sheer preponderance of imagery in that direction. I mean: sniper hiding in a church being a danger to the whole community, literal(in the movie at least, I’m pretty sure she’s not in the comics though I don’t really follow them) Olympian goddess smashing said church to rid the community of danger, then standing atop ruins of said church as the towns people cheer her and heavenly light streams down from behind her. That’s bordering on heavy-handed.

all the Olympians being “dead” (or better—never actually existed, the TRUE mythology being a mystery instead) would be more interesting than Ares being responsible for WW1

Ehh. Though, yeah, I agree with the idea of Ares being responsible for WWI being pretty asinine. Though the movie’s a bit confused here too: he says he’s not responsible for the war and he’s not making people fight, only suggesting weapons and tactics that they can choose to use to make it more horrible, but then the moment he’s dead those German soldiers pull off their masks, surrender, and everyone stops fighting. So which is it: was Ares just capitalizing on human nature to suggest ways people who’ve already decided to do terrible things can be worse, or was his influence actually causing people to fight, and by defeating him Diana ensured the armistice would succeed? Diana’s conclusion is that people suck but they can also be pretty great too, and you’ve just got to believe in that pretty greatness, and work to promote it, not that Ares was behind it all and that without him the war wouldn’t have existed. Like I said, I think they could have done something more interesting with an Ares storyline, but the movie would have been more consistent if there was no Ares, or if “Ares” as just war-itself, was the real villain, and preserving the armistice that allowed WWI to finally end the real victory she achieves. I get that Ares is her actual nemesis in the comics series, but how they included him here just didn’t work for me, and he looked just silly in that final fight.

Speaking of the brainspace part, the entire time I was hoping for a Nolanian (for lack of a better word, I don’t know film very well. Insert appropriate synonym for psyche-out) mindfuck where it turns out the entire battle was a hallucination. I was hoping Ares was a hallucination the moment he disappeared from the window in that one scene

I don’t think him being a hallucination would have worked, but that fight did feel kinda weird and off. Like, nobody but Steve and his team seemed to be paying any attention to it and they’re setting off these massive explosions and tearing the place apart. I kinda felt like the Germans were interpreting it as a bombing raid or sabotage or something, which how could you do that when there’s two people flying around flinging stuff at each other and telekineting the runway into projectiles? So the idea of it being not entirely physical, or something slightly outside mortal comprehension which people not in the know couldn’t entirely perceive almost seemed a bit implied with how it played out, to me. Who knows, maybe they batted around an idea like that but then decided to go for a conventional superhero final showdown, or maybe that sort of reaction was just convenient plot-wise.

I don’t enjoy there being One True Pantheon (the greek one) because that’s less interesting than a world where all religious beliefs have some chance of being considered. it’s less interesting than a world where it is still a mystery where Themyscira REALLY came from 

similar to how it is more interesting for us not to know where the Space Jockey came from rather than they inexplicably making the Alien universe infinitely smaller by making them the creators of humanity                            

I’m not saying “One True Pantheon”. Never at any point in their history did the Greeks ever say their gods were the “only REAL” gods, and including them in a fictional setting doesn’t bar you from including any other god you like, or even making them something other than divine(or “top tier” divine) beings(ala Marvel’s Asgard... And their Olympus and Olympians, to be honest), so that you can leave space for an ultimately ambiguously Abrahimic/atheistic universe like DC and Marvel have conventionally done. I’m just saying I didn’t feel like having them killed off served any purpose storywise for the movie(and I’d add it also hurts her chances for solo sequels, since most of WW’s enemies are associated with myth, Ares, and the Olympian pantheon in someway or another). The same effect could have been accomplished in other ways, and the path they chose -getting close enough to WW canon to preserve aspects of her origin, throw others into doubt(like her fabrical creation), but veering away from it where it might suggest something other than a currently monotheistic cosmology- was just... Meh. And I fully realize that this is the sort of complaint very few people are going to have, so no surprise that the filmmakers didn’t give consideration for this particular sensibility pride-of-place in their decision making.

I forgot to finish my thought on the hallucination part! Whoops! The point I was trying to get to was that one part where Diana rewinds her memories mid-battle to what Steve said—I was hoping so hard that was a psyche-out retconning the battle as something of a mental projection by Diana meant as a mental battle of ideas To Learn A Lesson so as to change the outcome of Steve Dying

Oh! Ok. HHHHHHMMMMMMmmm idontknow. I feel like that would have been super gimmicky and led to a lot of “it was all a dream” complaints. And -though I guess this undercuts all such psychedelic conclusions like the one I mentioned- I don’t think the movie really established its world and setting as the sort of place that kind of thing would happen in.

also why did Steve have to die I don’t understand why that was necessary 

Honestly, I think it’s because Steve Rogers “died” heroically flying a plane away from where it could do any harm in First Avenger. It was such a callback. Like really, the whole ending was pretty superfluous, but that aspect was especially bad. Like, if the flammability of the gas allows them to blow it up safely with no poison possibility, then why couldn’t they just blow it up on the ground with a grenade? Why couldn’t he just jump out with a parachute after flying it high up? If it’s effective range of threat was 50 miles centered on the point of release, then why didn’t they all die anyway considering the atmosphere does not extend 50 miles up? Like I said, I feel like you cannot make a WWI movie that doesn’t deal with loss since SO MANY PEOPLE died in that war and the sheer volume of the dead was probably its most remembered impact, and in that context I can see justifying Steve’s death, but having him die a heroic martyr, and therefore a war-glorifying one, like he did in the movie wasn’t necessary, and also undercut his character. Like, the whole point of it was just to include your conventional war-story sacrifice glorification, and it’s premise is literally an anti-war one, so that’s kinda ill-done.

But, having said all that, I still liked the movie. It wove action and humor together excellently, and I enjoyed the sensibility of it a heck of a lot more than that found in most action blockbusters. It wasn’t a cruel movie in anyway, it didn’t make fun of or belittle people and, while I did feel the treatment of them was rushed through, it acknowledged the downsides of violence and conflict through Charlie, Chief, Sameer(I mean, it’s not stated, but he’s probably North African and in Europe because of how inhospitable colonialism made his homeland), and the suffering of the civilians we see. The camera work was non-skeezy, the bath scene with Steve was So Good, playing on the humor and awkwardness in the situation, and in Diana’s curiosity&lack of physical shame(and thus obliviousness to Steve’s), without being objectifying or creepy; presenting Steve as vulnerable without being creepy or denigrating or acquisitive about it(again, most other action movies when it comes to women).

It’s a good, entertaining movie it’s just that philosophically, and aside from its a++ peopleing and gender politics, it left me a bit dissatisfied.