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lyss-sketchbox · 4 months ago

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Ok coming off anon because I'm trying to conquer the constant social anxiety lmao (same person who sent you Longass Thoughts on Natlan AQ) - SO YEAH personally I like Ei's character but foaming a bit at the mouth because I feel like my favorite parts of her character (namely she was NOT ready to be the archon when makoto kicked the bucket, she's got that good ol' warrior-weapon mindset knocking around in there- having her actually confront the ugly truth of the consequences of her actions was such a missed opportunity. it would've been SO good to see her actually get confronted personally without any sugarcoating. i think her learning to be less of a shitty archon would've been so much better then)

also like. im sure there were a lot of ways to improve Inazuma's story but personally i thought it would've been cooler if kokomi was a bit more. morally grey lmao. like willing to do not-so-nice things to fight god because that's what they're doing. mortals attempting to defy the god that holds dominion over their land (bc the electro archon isn't really Watatsumi's god specifically!! bc uh lmao ei killed him lol)

but yea for real in natlan every "serious problem" was severely undercut by "actually it's all good now" like "kachina is totally fine after being chased by the abyss in the afterlife, she was protected by the wayob so it's all good and she's also mentally ok" and it's like what. what are you talking about.

AND THE ARchON thing i feel like im the only one who has a gripe. tbf the story is not done yet BUT MY QUESTION IS CELESTIA ALLOWED A HUMAN (MULTIPLE EVEN) TO ASCend to the divine throne???? Like what??? IT feels like it runs counter to everything-

and like uh feels like we got really really far away from like. when you talk about the archon war in liyue it was a literal bloodbath. sacrifices upon sacrifices were made, the modern day liyue was built upon the corpses of friend and foe alike because there was no other choice. you couldn't abstain, you would die.

but in natlan???? no gods??? what???? im just losing it more than a bit over here that natlan is trying simultaneously to be a grim land of constant war but also sunshine friendship and rainbows.

at this point im prepared to be disappointed and just crossing my fingers the good writing comes back for snezhnaya's AQ bc if they fuck up snezhnaya i will literally never forgive them

Its all good man, youre so welcome to debate and talk off anon, we may disagree but never hate.

Im putting all my ramblings under cut since its gonna be as equally long and spoilery hdjsnsn

About Ei

I completely forgot about how Ei was originally a kagemusha, a weapon for her sister, her sister did all the archon work while Ei simply stood by her side. Its makes perfect sense that after the death of her sister, she would make very bad not thought out decisions and because she is an archon now, those bad decisions has really really bad aftermaths.

I personally do not have any gripes about her being basically clueless about the outside world. Grief manifests in different ways and locking yourself away and justifying it as a twisted way to gain enlightment of eternity the way your sister did, it can make sense. It is a consequence!! She is clueless of how to be an archon and what is going on in her nation, her SQ could have been used to show her trying to understand and emphatize with her people to be a better archon. NOT A REASON TO MAKE HER AN uwu sad defenseless waifu cant cook and doesnt know anything. Brother she fucking killed people and almost destroyed her nation.

About Kokomi

I like the idea of morally grey kokomi actually. It makes alot of sense. Kokomi and the watatsumi people might have some vishap descendance but they are still humans, even less so with visions. Theyre also lacking the supplies and expertise needed to continue a war with an entire nation and its archon. It would make sense that she would accept the fatuis help since they share the sentiment of 'getting to inazuma and its archon'.

But it was shown she wasnt even aware who the anonymous donor is, hell she wasnt aware people where using delusions until people starts dying. And for a girl who wrote an entire guide book with 100 different alternate plans, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING...............

About Natlan's system

Yeah they really brushed off the dying part and potentially being stuck in genshin limbo if you dont get out in time too casually. The tiny child you retrieved from limbo also is... very chill and not mentally scarred or anything, she wasnt putting up a brave face, she was simply unaffected?????? One on kachina's voiceovers is gonna talk about her death but im not friendship 4 with her yet. I hope it explains SOMETHING.

Yeah the first time i heard that the archon was human and has been replaced multiple times had me gawking too, i can excuse that Celestia has been strangely inactive FOR NOW.

I wanted to bring up how the hydro archon throne being broken and Neuvi regaining his sovernity didnt even call Celestia to action but GUESS WHAT??? I DONT KNOW IF NATLAN HAPPENED BEFORE OR AFTER FONTAINE BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO LOWER THE REQUIREMENTS TO DO NATLAN AQ!!!!!!! But well if it happened after (since Neuvis end dialogue told us to go to Natlan next), well... Celestia isnt called either so theyve just been inactive for 500 years of Natlans weird system ig.

About the """Nation of War"""

Yeah man. Sacrifices and war was dealt better in liyue. Same as Natlan, it is a nation built of war. There was war in the past, sacrifices were made to built the liyue we know now. But the sacrifices in liyue was not brushed off or belittled, those sacrifices had meaning and the people of liyue hold very high regards for the fallen. In Natlan? Its treated like some sort of sick hunger games event, they made war into entertainment.

Oh but they need the tournaments to keep the natlan fire alive. THEN RUN A SEPERATE FUCKING TOURNEY?????? MAKE EVERYONE WHO HAS AN ANCIENT NAME HAVE PROPER TRAINING AND GO TO WAR IN ARMIES PROPER???? THIS SHIT DOESNT NEED TO BE ENTERTAINMENT AND YET YOU DID. Maybe the flames are small BECAUSE YOU PICK ONLY 5 PEOPLE EVERYTIME WHEN THERES LITERALLY NO REASON VETERANS LIKE KINICH AND MUALANI TO SIT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE THEY LOST.

Oh but the ode of resurrection only works on limited people THEN SEND OUT THE BEST PEOPLE THEN???????? MUALANI, A 3 TIMES VETERAN, LOST TO KACHINA. CLEARLY THE TOURNEYS ARENT RELIABLE TO PICK WHO TO SEND.

While i can understand that while Liyue is past war and Natlan is still in war, this is... not how people in war act. The entertainment the happiness the hospitality. Its not efforts to keep morale high its literally just... happy people, sometimes they get attacked by abyss monsters yeah cool but otherwise theyre completely happy just living like that. Thats why the Nation of War thing isnt working at all, these people are not how people STILL IN WAR act. Theres no anxiety no uncertainty no worry at all, not even a smidget. These people live like happy prospering people.

You know what happened to people tryna be happy prospering people while still in war in liyue? Havria.

I hope they bring back the high AR requirement for snezhnaya so snezhnaya can be chronologically correct. I hope they take snezhnaya seriously. I hope Natlan atleast wont pull an inazuma and tripped at the very end

NONE OF THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BS EITHER I didnt believe it when mualani fucking knocked it over our heads over and over and over again and its not gonna work now.

#maybe twitter is right and i should turn my brain off and consume product #the only time i was tuning in was when the capitano vs mavuika fight happened #i hope the fatui plot is alot stromger than the actual nation plot actually #lyssten to my rambles #spoilers #genshin spoilers

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yanderecrazysie · 2 years ago

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here me out yandere! erasermic with shy!reader who has tendency to have nightmares and doesnt sleep well-

[this has been on my mind like all week for some reason😭 but anyways have a great day/night and take as much time as you need/want its healthy for you!]

Just a little heads-up, I write multiple characters as working together and not as poly, so I hope that’s okay!!! You can technically think of it as poly if you want, since I’m not super specific on it lol.

And you have a great day/night as well!

Title: Circles

Pairings: Eraser Head/Aizawa Shouta x Reader; Present Mic x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, drugging

Summary: Eraser Head and Present Mic’s new darling is adjusting well in every way except sleep. Is there a way they can finally give her the rest she needs?

“Sleeping peacefully

The girl I used to be

Until I fell so deep

A neverending tragedy.

You haunt me in my dreams

But it's all I want to see.”

-from “Circles” by KIRA

You had been here nearly four months, and your sleeping had only grown worse.

It took forever for you to fall asleep and, whenever you did, your slumber was plagued with nightmares and heartbreaking memories that had you waking with a start and crying before you even opened your eyes.

Your captors grew more and more stressed at the sight of you withering away from the lack of good sleep. The rings under your eyes were larger and darker than even Aizawa’s, and the sight alone had their stomachs twisting with worry.

“What do we do? Why won’t she go to sleep, Eraser?”

“It’s not just a matter of falling asleep, Mic, it’s a matter of staying asleep too.”

Your captors were kind throughout the months you’d been here, but they still terrified you. So many of your nightmares twisted their happy expressions into evil ones and used their soft voices to scream obscenities, until you awoke more afraid of them than on the day you’d been brought to the isolated cabin you resided in.

Not a single night went by without turning into a sleepless night or one packed full with night terrors. At this point, you were afraid to sleep. Afraid to see what your unconscious mind was ready to traumatize you with further the minute you successfully drifted away into dreamland.

Your captors were there for you as you fell asleep and whenever you awoke screaming and crying. You could see their faces lined with worry as they reassured you that you were safe. You welcomed the comfort, even if you knew you shouldn’t trust the people who kidnapped you.

One of them, the dark-haired one that the other called “Eraser”, seemed to understand your inability to sleep. Probably because he always looked so tired himself. He also spent the most time with you at night, pulling all-nighters sometimes to make sure you were okay.

A strange part of you appreciated that.

“Summer break, finally! Now we can spend some time with our favorite listener!”

Your head perked up when you heard them both enter the house. You had learned that they both worked as teachers during the day, so they often had to be away from you… Was it really summer break already? Had you really been here long enough for school to let out?

Your blond captor, who the other called “Mic”, was much more energetic than his companion, and he quickly came running into the living room, searching for you. He beamed when he spotted you on the couch.

“(Y/n)! Let’s have a movie night!” He said, seeming very proud of himself for coming up with the idea.

“A movie night?” Eraser entered the living room after him, one eyebrow raised, “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

You agreed to it, even though you weren’t sure you had a choice in the first place. They were kind enough to let you pick your favorite movie, one neither of them had seen, and pop it into the DVD player.

With the lights off, your favorite movie playing, popcorn from Mic and soda filling your stomach, you weren’t too surprised that your eyes were beginning to droop. After days of barely getting any sleep at all, your body was finally at its limit and ready to give you what you truly needed.

You saw Mic give Eraser an excited look, which was returned with an indulgent smile (perhaps the happiest you’d ever seen Eraser). You couldn’t help but smile yourself a little, both in happiness and relief. You had a feeling there’d be no nightmares tonight.

You were sleeping peacefully between them on the couch long before your movie was over. The two were beyond glad that Mic had proposed a movie night, as it had done what they needed it to do and given their precious darling the gift of dreamless (and nightmare-less) sleep.

That, and the pills they slipped into your soda.

#yandere #yandere one shot #one shot #yandere x reader #my hero academia #yandere mha #yandere my hero academia #yandere aizawa #yandere present mic #eraser head #present mic #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi

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phasewashere · 9 months ago

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dutch van der linde thoughts and feelings and the human condition,,,

like. i think that dutch being a good guy who is capable of compassion and kindness can like. coexist with his skewed view of the world and his place in it. hes just as capable of saving and cradling those less fortunate than him as much as he is at using them for his own gain.

and like. the facade to me. is more in his psyche than anything else

its a mask of strength and intelligence for his own sake

and his relationship with molly is meant to show you how negligent and mean he can get. it also shows you that hes insecure and lashes out whenever somebody tries to help him

he doesnt like being wrong or being ridiculed in any sense because it reflects back on what i think he feels he is at his core. a nobody. a two bit outlaw. and when thats pointed out he gets defensive

i want to be able to explain that yes. he wants to help people and he wants a better world but that wanting has become twisted over the years and now that hes backed into a corner that thought becomes second place (and micah encourages this) and hes willing to throw people under the bus

he thinks everyones out to get him and that he can only trust himself

i also think that stems from the fact that hes so scared of everyone leaving him or everything going wrong that hes come to the conclusion that nobodies really sticking around for him

and i think this can also exist at the same time as his moment of narcissim cus. thats how mood swings and especially bpd (whether or not he has it) is like. part of him being all over the place is because of this

he can be a kind man while also being a hypocrite of all sorts. the human condition allows this

his words and his actions do not always match up for good and for bad

and i think thats like. the core of it all is that hes meant to show a part of the human condition which allows for so many possibilities and shows how these choices can go beyond what you think or what you feel. dutch was going to get backed into a corner no matter what happened. but he jumped the gun and assumed (in actions rather than words) that he was already doomed and acted accordingly. throwing people under th bus and assuming that he had been duped

he was so caught up in looking for the problem he couldnt see it righth in front of him

because by his perception why would someone manipulating him be kind to him?? why would they encourage him and soothe his fears and inflate his ego?

also him and molyy are such like. a good relationship. writing wise. obviously in game they are terrible for one another but

molly and dutch are similiar to me. in a psychological way. they are easily consumed by the idea of love and being wanted but. molly isnt a conman or a killer like dutch is. and i feel like molly doesnt hide behind the mask as much as dutch does. i think its still there for her. but to a lesser extent. mollys kind and caring nature always struck me as being given much more freely than dutch's. and in such a way it feels more genuine. whereas dutch has the intention but must make it flowery and grand even though hes capable of the smaller goods

ansd the tragedy of the both of them is that all molly wanted to do was help him

she loved him. i dont think dutch loved her the same. dutchs love was quick and dependent completely on how he felt at the moment. dutchs mode was survival and her comfort or him caring for her wasnt top of his priority. i dont think he loved her in the way molly loved him

molly thought she had found true love in him. dutch wanted someone to woo. someone to care about him for the brief amount of time. it was fleeting. and conditional

also dutchs whole deal with the wapiti tribe is the real killer for him morally. the whole point of helping them was to prove a point. and not for the tribes benefit but for himself

sure it was a "distraction" but he gave no plan for it afterwards. he wanted the rush of it. he was hurt and scared and therefore angry. he recognized eagle flies righteous anger and eagerly encouraged him into a death trap and when eagle flies dies. he backtracks. says that it was all according to plan. at that point he's grasping at strings. he's chewing off his own leg to escape the trap and that leg is all he is as a person

he's casting off the ideals and the dreams because he has convinced himself they are obsolete. he has nothing left to lose and to him nobody wants him anymore. and he's violently bitter about it. the way hes so shocked that micah was duping him. the vulnerability of his ignorance in that moment. the realization of his failure in that moment was destroying for him. he did all that for nothing. threw away everything he had known and tied himself into a knot trying to escape the trap he was led into. and then he was forced to reckon with the only leg he has left and the fact that he's bleeding out

but even more fascinating is how adamant he is that he was betrayed. admitting to his failure is too much for him. it would make everything they ever said about him true and he can't handle that. but also the way he runs back to micah for revenge. he cannot let go no matter what. he drags the trap along with him in a spiral of bitterness that quite literally lasts until his dying day

he kills micah for himself. to soothe the failure of killing his son

and then he goes on to create a new gang. with the people he admires. people who are full of righteous anger. it feels as if he's attempting to relive his life through all of this. this time he's not going to fail. this time he won't take any chances

dutch's greatest malady is that he cannot let go. but he also cannot look

he cannot obtain his redemption because he can't face down nor let go of what he's done

he's stuck in limbo fighting for the sake of figthing

he says it himself. all he's ever done is fight and he continues to no matter what. in the littlest of ways like snapping at the hand that wants to help him to killing men by the droves to slay the unseen enemy thats in his mind

it all circles back to the vicious cycle that red dead redemption is meant to be

it's meant to be a cautionary tale. and dutch is the prime example. he doesn't want to look at he what he's done but nonetheless cannot let go

even if he never wanted to continue the cycle he continues it anyways through never facing it

and he would rather throw himself from a cliff rather than seeing it. dutch was tired of fighting. but he never stopped running

#phase weeps #dutch van der linde #terrified to post this #this is not molly or eagle flies slander or anything else #this is purely an analystical work #uhm. please be nice or else i will cry. not really. maybe

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melancholiaenthroned · 3 months ago

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ok its been a few hours here r my absolute batman thoughts...

starting off with what immediately stood out: that man is not blond. we have spent weeks either bemoaning or defending blond bruce wayne, only for him to appear, not blond. when was the choice to unblond him made? neither of his parents are blond, perhaps then? he also doesnt appear to have his gay little dog, but he havent seen much of his home life so im still holding out hope.

the first thing i will say that jumped out to me, and something ive already commented on, is how much of a scott snyder batman book this feels like. which it is, but god i missed this feeling. snyder writes batman a bit more lone wolfy than other writers, but with a very well defined ensemble cast when the need arises. snyders alfred is one of the only ones ive ever actually had, like, any opinions or feelings on, and so having him (even a very different version of him) star in the opening issue feels right. speaking of snyders alfred -- julia! julia mention, julia graduation photo! julia:-) seeing alfred call her in one of the first pages was my first sigh of relief like oh were gonna be okay... theyre estranged, which makes sense considering any alfred but especially this one, but i do wonder why/for how long considering alfred does appear to have been at her college graduation, and i assume shes around the same age as bruce.

bruce who, speaking of, is 24 and born in... 2004. setting this comic in 2028 but also! thats fucked up! what do you mean batman is the same age as me? that gives me four years to bulk up and learn how to do. whatever bruce did with that massive gun to make it "non lethal" (comic books....). its very weird to have a gen z batman but also makes sense considering snyder said this book represents more his thoughts on the mindsets of his children rather than his own (as was the case for his original batman run). bruce is an idealistic young person now! with young person friends... also weird to think that in this universe, killer croc, the penguin, two face, and catwoman were probably also born in the 2003-2005 range (they appear to have been childhood friends, i assume they went to the same school and were maybe also at the zoo that day?).

this is disorganized and i dont have a transition into this section but: the main "twist" of the issue, which i was not expecting at all. martha is alive. bruce lost his father, but he never lost his mother. it makes sense why he seems a little more idealistic (or maybe thats just Alfred's pov skewing events), he really does have like. a whole life. he has friends and a mother and a job, hes not a sad boy left alone in a manor. really not much to say about this considering its only the first issue, but im really excited to see where it goes. it does make this batman feel a little like superman in an interesting way. hes a lot more ingrained in the city by working a job that actually touches its core, hes a mamas boy, he (or at least his social circle) is involved enough in local politics to be going to town hall meetings. and of course. his main villain appears to be this weird ultra rich guy...

which leads me to other main snyder-ism of the issue: we gotta get the joker in here, and he is NOT funny. in classic snyder fashion the joker is SERIOUS now. he wears muted colors and never laughs and is a brunette (which could all change when/if he gets dumped in acid).i really wasnt sure if he was gonna do it, after all snyder has already pretty extensively covered the joker in his old run, and while i think hes literally the best joker writer ever, i wasnt sure if hed been interested in tackling the character in what is essentially a new batman origin. but here he is! and the tables are turned -- bruce is friends with all the jokers old compatriots, and the joker is alone and insanely rich. i honestly really have no idea what to expect from this plot going forward, obviously the current focus is black mask and his gang, but its clear the joker is going to have some part to play. im excited about it, im not one of the people who dislikes joker stories on principle and i was really hoping for snyder to introduce him into this world so its a win for me if nothing else.

anyway! not sure how to conclude this, but these are my thoughts! its been a while since ive been this excited for a bat run, and this will probably be the only thing keeping me going for a while considering weve got tom taylor on tec now. but god. im just so happy. remember being excited about batman comics? if any of u guys read absolute batman plsss lmk what u thought...

#poison.txt #dc #wednesday spoilers #long post

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frightmaresandscreamscapes · 2 months ago

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presidential election 2024

ok so the dust has not quite settled, there are a few things that still have to be done. but as it stands it seems some how this country messed itself up very badly. if the popular vote holds and its possible for it not to. let me say that four years from now we will regret this decision. this country's majority really said that they were the party of law and order and voted for a 34 time felon. a man who thinks women are second class citizens. that if you are not "American" then you do not count. and i dont mean born here. a man who has said some of the most rascist and vile things out loud at campaign rallies. he is not suited for office. and before you get it twisted understand i dont think that haley joel osment rip off he found wandering target is either. i think what people who voted for him did not consier, you cant convince a dictator that his plans are going to hurt everyone because he doesnt care about that. he cares about nothing really but getting his way. or maybe they are hoping it wont be that bad. it cant be right? we are the united states of america that means something right? Right??????

i get it. harris and walz were not the best candidates either. tbh we have had a shortage of those for quite some time. but i heard some republicans say the reason they would be willing to vote for them was because she could be reasoned with. and that is actually something to think about. the fact that these people would shift their political beliefs in the moment to consider the concept of reason is crazy. that you would have to do that to make sure your home does not get destroyed by unreasonable thought process that condemns anyone that does not fit into a box is crazy.

also two of my blogs on here are very clear about my political stance. in the event that my opinion becomes illegal i stand by my thoughts and ideas. i am not sorry i decided to voice them. i do not regret and will not regret to continue to voice my opinion on public forums. freedom of speech remember, that if this makes any one mad. you did it not me.........

#donald trump #president trump #trump #trump 2024 #trump vance 2024 #trump vs harris #2024 presidential election #presidential debate #fraud #presidential #voters

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cartoonrival · 2 years ago

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3, 11 and 13 because I love drama and violence

3. (worst take you've ever seen): im sure these arent what you were looking for because theyre not actually affronts against nature theyre just affronts against me specifically, but i saw someone say amy would watch a lot of youtube poops and i literally havent slept soundly since. it made me so annoyed. no she fucking wouldnt???? its part of the whole thing where people who don't like how amy is in canon try and give her generic 12 year old traits without any actual consideration for whether those traits even suit her or not. its def not the worst take ive ever seen but its one that haunts me. another one that haunts me is someone saying surge would like illuminati hotties and i KNOOWWW that one just bugs me because i have a hyperspecific vision of what music surge likes but like be for fucking real. no she would not. she listens to music that makes her feel evil and like she could kill people.

11. (number of filtered fanon related words): 8, which i dont feel like is THAT much but since i have an immunity to the "i've seen this thing so much now i hate it on principle" i dont feel the need to filter stuff toooo often. except for one of them its all ships i dont like, specifically ones that lead to the worst mischaracterization

13. (worst blorbofication): its amy and silver. ive talked out it so fucking much so i wont go super into detail but it is absolutely amy and silver. ik a lot of people would say shadow and i think thats true to a Degree but the thing about shadow is that people tend to understand his general VIBE. he's the most frequent victim of getting his arm twisted so people can draw cutesy template ship art but like. outside of that. theres a general consensus about how his past impacts his current relationships and how he interacts with (MOST) people. might not be always perfect but it doesnt make me want to kill anyone. but with amy and silver people really do not even know where to begin. with amy, no one is pleased with the way she is in basically any canon so they make shit up about her then get mad when it isnt true. you all need to come to terms with the fact that amy is written poorly everywhere all the time. and with silver people have zero sense of middle ground. im actually WAAAY more annoyed by people making silver tough and ruthless and "SILVER MUGGED TAILS" than i am by people making them sweet and cutesy, though obv being too overkill with the Too Sweet Too Pure For This World is also annoying

#asks157 #sth

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chloeangelic · 1 year ago

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Hey there! I’m not sure if this is a weird way of asking this, but I was wondering if you are BIPOC? I’m black and I absolutely adore your writing, always feels very inclusive in the way you describe your main characters :) Whether it’s conscious or not, I really appreciate it!!!!

Hey!! <3 Not a weird way of asking at all. I'm so glad to hear you say this cause I am white as hell and I really do my best to make my characters as inclusive as possible! I have a picrew of myself included in something I have coming up, and now I feel like my cartoon appearance is gonna be a jumpscare for my followers HAHA but maybe thats a good thing??

Back to the topic tho, cause it's something i've thought a lot about as someone who writes reader insert fics - I'll put all my thoughts under the cut to save peoples dashes

It seems like blushing and describing the ways joel touches the readers hair, or how its styled, is where a lot of people get nailed on characters seeming white coded specifically, so

I've made a conscious effort to use language that can apply to all hair types - even if they all do have medium-long hair to get the dramatic effect of Joel's actions - like hair being swept/brushed aside, tucked behind her ear, clipped up w/ pieces left out. he might "play" with the MCs hair but he doesnt typically "run his fingers through" it like she does with his, cause i know that's annoying or even impossible when you have wavy or curly hair. I generally talk about hair pieces (which could mean anything, could be lock of straight hair, a wave, a curl, a braid, a loc, or anything) or her entire hair length, instead of "strands". I always think to myself like okay, does this make sense for different hair types? and if i can picture it in my head then i green light it, haha. i have a fic coming up where the MCs hair is styled as "the little pieces in the front of your hair, twisted and clipped back while the rest fell over your shoulders" and i think that can apply to all long hair as well

i never describe the MC as blushing in terms of how it looks (blushing pink/red), i more so describe her being flustered or feeling a blush/flush creeping up cause there's a very physiological aspect to that. As for someone looking flushed, it's my nice and dainty way of saying they look SWEATY hahaha

eye color wise, i do compare the MCs eyes to crystals and stones from joel's POV, and that's because there are crystals/stones/gemstones of all diff colors, so it's just the sort of sparkle in her eyes when she looks at joel that i'm referring to

In terms of other types of inclusivity, i think the one thing people get nailed on is their MCs seeming small/skinny/petite, like skinny little reader who's 5 ft tall. my readers are p much always described as being curvy (i sometimes tag "reader has hella tits and ass" haha), and i think that can mean a wide range of body types. I'm 5'8 and curvy+muscular irl so my MCs are, in my head, on the taller and thicker side, whatever that means to the reader. I pretty much always mention something like ass jiggle, ass/thigh recoil, joel grabbing or squeezing ass/hips/flesh etc, all of which i think imply that the MC is thick to any degree.

another thing is that many of my fics have a size kink aspect to them, and the emphasis here is not on the MC being small but rather on Joel being VERY big, broad and strong. many many of my smut scenes include the MC being on top and joel moving/tossing/flipping her around, and thats him being strong and physically overwhelming. i also describe his hands are big, his shoulders being broad etc to emphasize that HE is big, not that the MC is small. i am not small, dainty or petite in any way irl so i dont think im even capable of writing MCs like that haha

this was a lot of text, sorry - if you have any questions feel free to lmk but this is basically my whole thought process!

thank you so much for reading <3 <3 <3

#chloe's word voms

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rexhya · 10 days ago

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a court this cruel and lovely ˚ପ⊹⭐️ 2/5 stars

I wanna preface by saying that this 'reveiw' is simply an opinion and its most definitely just for fun, I like talking about things I like talking about—and this—is one of them, thats all.

contains spoilers !

reading time length: 2 days

⭐️ Things A Court This Cruel And Lovely Did Well

1. Concepts

The whole, fae, enemies to lovers, male obsession idea is tea, I like the magic in the world, its not over the top but it's not boring either, I really was hooked when Prisca was described the Taking ceremonies and how the baby was screaming ( implying that is was horrendously painful despite the priests saying otherwise ) but it didnt end up leading to anything bigger which was a bit disappointing.

2. The Mercenaries Relationship to Each Other

They're funny, and somehow they feel close to each other, like Lorian says they are, I think it's worth mentioning this is a series and we'd probably see more about the past in book's 2 and 3 ( not sure if I plan to read it though ) but despite that they're probably the only relationship in the story that I feel like is genuine.

⭐️ Things A Court This Cruel And Lovely Did not So Well

1. A FMC that is Forgettable

Prisca is boring, she's boring and she's confusing. Her immediate goal to get revenge on the mercenaries is strange if she wanted to stay away from all danger and simply find her brother, it doesnt make any sense if your litterally being chased by the entire kingdom that you would want revenge on a bunch of bug burly men that coukd have done way worse than save you then leave you alone, like lets be so completely honest here.

2. Painfully Predictable

It's so obvious what's going to happen next in the story line it's like Stacia didn't even try to think of a plot twist anything would have been better than Prisca being a hybrid and being the heir to the Fae Kingdom, oh and also her boyfriend is a Fae. Sigh, I think it's worth mentioning these things coukd have still occurred it's just how it was written made it so painfully obvious it was bad. Which brings me to another issue,

3. The Writing Style & Pacing

It's pretty awful, it felt like reading really bad fanfiction and thats saying alot. I feel like my 12 year old self would read this and love it because I would fail to notice how horribly the enemies to lovers really was, like the balance between Lorian and Prisca was so haywire and uneven it just wasnt cute. The way it was written, every action scene happened so face I couldnt even imagine what was happening anymore and it was exusating to read the prison scenes because they took so damn long. Considering it now, it makes no sense on why is took so long for her to save all the prisoners in the first place if it took like two sentences for her to get in the castle.

4. The "Chemistry" between Lorian and Prisca

There is none and that's the thing, like in the beginning of the book when Lorian is supposedly still heartless and cruel, why is he immadeatley attracted to Prisca and her body, if your only goal is so restore your Fae power, why would you even care about the lost woman you barely wanted to save. The up's and down's between them were also way to stark, it was either pure hatred and annoyance or unbridled lust and "love", it felt like reading about a pair of horny teenager's except their an on and off couple so you have to deal with their breakup every other week. Also they both kill people, which brings be to ANOTHER things I don't like about this book,

5. Murder is Easy

I get it, it's a fantasy world in which people die everyday, you kinda have to get used to it in a way but, Prisca being able to kill the man that was attacking her ( despite being small and petite by the way ) so early on in the book, it was just like...okay. Not only that, but how easily she was able to get over it, I feel like there was no time to dwell ( even later on ) on really what she had done, ( which could be Lorian's influence ) but even then it's still desensitizing to read.

⭐ Overall ;; Despite it all, I can't seem to give it a 1 star rating and I think it's because the concepts and idea's were there it's simply the execution that was bad, which is why it'll stay at a 2 star rating which to me is what it deserves.

#rexhya's reveiws #a court this cruel and lovely #book review

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pesterloglog · 1 year ago

Text

John Egbert, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Vriska Serket

Act 6, page 7487-7492

JOHN: so tell me about your ridiculous meteor journey!

DAVE: um

JOHN: the dave from the bad time line told me some funny stories when we got together on the grassy hill planet

JOHN: but we weren't actually hanging out for that long, so i didn't hear much.

JOHN: also, i'm MOSTLY sure vriska wasn't alive during their trip.

DAVE: oh well let me tell you

DAVE: vriska was most certainly alive during this one

DAVE: like almost

DAVE: extra-alive, if thats possible

JOHN: haha.

JOHN: i think i know what you mean.

JOHN: i spent some time with her when she was a ghost, and uh...

JOHN: let's just say whatever her mortality status is, she makes her presence hard to ignore.

KARKAT: YES. YES!

KARKAT: I LOVE THIS.

KARKAT: CAN WE SPEND OUR WHOLE REMINISCENCE JUST DESTROYING VRISKA, SLIGHTLY ABOVE AUDIBLE LEVEL?

VRISKA: Slightly?

VRISKA: Karkat, you only have one volume setting.

KARKAT: WOW, FUCK YOU?!

DAVE: ok dude maybe lets not spend our paltime trash talking serket if only cus theres no way youre not getting repeatedly trounced exactly just like that

KARKAT: FFFFFFFFFFFFFYEAH.

KARKAT: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

KARKAT: OK, I'LL CHILL OUT. YOU'RE RIGHT DAVE, AS USUAL.

JOHN: wow.

JOHN: karkat, for a funny shouty guy, you backed down on that really fast.

JOHN: i'm almost... a bit disappointed?

JOHN: i was looking forward to more of your patented ravings!

KARKAT: HEY, JOHN FUCKBERT, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M A LITTLE MORE MATURE AND REASONABLE THAN THE LAST TIME YOU SAW ME.

KARKAT: I'M A LOT MORE THAN MR. HOLLERSPONGE ONE-NOTE, AND ANYONE WHO DISPUTES THIS CAN CORDIALLY INVITE ME TO PLAY THEIR DIRTY SEED FLAP LIKE A DISCOUNT HARMONICA.

JOHN: oh. well, i'm sold.

KARKAT: SERIOUSLY THOUGH, IT'S PRETTY COOL TO FINALLY MEET YOU. I MEAN, UNDER MORE CIVIL, RATIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES.

KARKAT: UNLIKE WHATEVER THE *FUCK* THAT BRIEF ENCOUNTER WAS THREE YEARS AGO WHERE YOU KO'D VRISKA AND THEN POOFED YOUR FLIMSY ASS INTO THE FUCKALL CONTINUUM.

KARKAT: I KNOW I SEEMED REALLY MAD ABOUT THAT AT THE TIME, FOR WHATEVER REASON.

KARKAT: BUT REALLY, I'VE HAD SOOOOO MANY BORING HOURS ON THAT METEOR TO SPEND BARELY REFLECTING ON THE ROUGHLY TEN THOUSAND WAYS I DON'T GIVE THE SLIGHTEST FUCK ABOUT WHATEVER IDIOTIC TWIST OF FATE TRANSPIRED BACK THERE.

JOHN: heheh. ok?

KARKAT: I'M COMPLETELY OVER IT.

KARKAT: I'M OVER A LOT OF THINGS ACTUALLY.

JOHN: ... you are?

KARKAT: YEAH.

KARKAT: LIKE, REMEMBER BACK WHEN I WAS YELLING AT YOU ALL THE TIME FROM MY COMPUTER.

KARKAT: BACK THEN I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE FELT NERVOUS OR AWKWARD ABOUT THIS ENCOUNTER.

KARKAT: BECAUSE OF... WELL, YOU KNOW.

JOHN: no?

KARKAT: I WAS HITTING ON YOU BRIEFLY, AND IN A VERY CONFUSING NON-CHRONOLOGICAL WAY, WITHOUT EVEN QUITE REALIZING HOW BADLY I WAS SHOVING MY STRUT POD DOWN MY OWN STATEMENT TUNNEL.

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: I MEAN, UNTIL YOU MERCIFULLY AND WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF TACT SHUT ME DOWN.

KARKAT: DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

JOHN: uh...

JOHN: maybe?

KARKAT: HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT?

JOHN: i dunno, it was a long time ago!

JOHN: and we had a lot of ridiculous conversations...

KARKAT: OK, WELL MAYBE IT WAS A BIGGER DEAL FOR ME THAN IT WAS FOR YOU.

KARKAT: I MEAN, *OBVIOUSLY* IT WAS, THAT'S SORT OF THE WHOLE POINT.

KARKAT: BUT THE *REAL* POINT IS, OR THAT I WAS *TRYING* TO MAKE, IS THAT IT *ISN'T* A BIG DEAL ANY MORE.

KARKAT: BECAUSE I'M OVER IT!

DAVE: karkat what the fuck are you doing

KARKAT: WHAT!

KARKAT: I'M TALKING, QUITE CASUALLY, ABOUT SOME SHIT THAT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

KARKAT: AND THE *POINT* IS THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL ANYMORE, SO I'M JUST CASUALLY SAYING THAT! GOD.

DAVE: ok its not an unreasonable conversation to have but like

DAVE: we JUST started friend-jamming about past anecdotes to get us all up to speed or whatever

DAVE: and youre already trucking out these guns

KARKAT: GUNS? WHAT GUNS!

DAVE: just sayin, it doesnt sound that casual and no big deal if you keep saying its casual and no big deal oh and also its the first fuckin thing out of your mouth to john in three years

KARKAT: SORRY!

KARKAT: I'M SO TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I FORGOT THERE WAS SUCH AN OUTSTANDINGLY SMOOTH PILE OF SHIT IN A CAPE WITHIN MY JUDGMENT RADIUS!

JOHN: no, i mean, i think i remember.

JOHN: i think you were um, "black flirting" with me or something, but in backwards order, and while constantly yelling.

JOHN: and i didn't really even know what that was.

JOHN: and then i told you i wasn't a homosexual, so it was kind of a moot point, but also, you didn't even know what that was either?

KARKAT: YES!

KARKAT: THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENED

KARKAT: AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS *TRYING* TO SAY I WAS OVER, AND WASN'T A BIG DEAL ANYMORE, BUT NOW IT'S A BIG DEAL AGAIN I GUESS?

KARKAT: THAT'S FUCKING GREAT! THANKS DAVE!

DAVE: yo im hardly one to talk here since i am a goddamn geyser of hilariously self-pulverizing freudian bloopers

DAVE: at this point i cant even pretend to keep a lid on any shit ive got in me cause i know sooner or later during one of my rad soliloquies ill just pratfall butt backwards into an embarrassing admission and i just have to be like yeah... yeah ok thats my shit thats what im about lets just get the fuck on with our lives

DAVE: so when johns like hey man and youre all locked and loaded with some stuff about how youre 'over him' and go on and on about it its like some way obvious protest-too-much shit and everybody knows it so i dont see how it salvages any of your dignity or whatever to pretend thats not whats happening

KARKAT: OH MY FUCKING GOD...

DAVE: so what im saying is if youre so eager to push this out there-

KARKAT: I'M NOT "PUSHING THIS OUT THERE"!

DAVE: if youre pushing this out there which you are then maybe we should rap about it

DAVE: i mean discuss it critically and earnestly not drop ill rhymes or anything tho that could be sweet too

KARKAT: UEHRNGH.

DAVE: so are you SURE you still dont have these unreconciled blackrom feelings about john

DAVE: i say we air this out before it ferments into some rank and hella unexamined feeling sauce

JOHN: dave, i think you're making karkat uncomfortable!

JOHN: are you being a wise guy and trying to make us uncomfortable?

DAVE: no!

DAVE: i dont do that to bros thats huge uncool

DAVE: i dont see what has to be uncomfy about chattin out our true ass thoughts and emotions

KARKAT: YEEUURHNGHGHH.

DAVE: dude you clearly had a spades thing for john but i dont recall you ever bringing it up

DAVE: is this something you been thinking about all this time or

KARKAT: NO!

KARKAT: NOT... NOT REALLY

DAVE: yeah we coulda talked about this

DAVE: i have all KINDS of shit to say about john seeing as he was my number 1 dude for approximately the majority of 13 years

DAVE: the main dead end here man is like, nothing personal at all its just that he is literally incapable of hating anyone

KARKAT: I KNOW THAT!

KARKAT: THAT IS THE *EXACT* FUCKING THING I KNEW AND UNDERSTOOD, AND WHY I FELT SO STUPID ABOUT IT IN HINDSIGHT!

JOHN: well...

JOHN: not that i really want to egg on this train of thought, but i dunno if that's quite true.

KARKAT: IT'S NOT?

JOHN: i can get really angry and hate stuff too, just like you. but i think only in extreme cases?

JOHN: the skull guy in suspenders i got REALLY pissed off at...

JOHN: but i am a hundred percent sure that hate was platonic!

DAVE: gettin pissed off at a suspender dude sounds like just the sort of yarn i wanna be all ears for some time

DAVE: but ok thats something to work with

DAVE: hey karkat maybe theres some hope yet maybe its not a total lost cause

KARKAT: NERGH!

JOHN: ok, dave, it definitely sounds like you're trying to own us now!

DAVE: own

DAVE: what

DAVE: no way

DAVE: im being real as a motherfucker

JOHN: being able to hate things i think is...

JOHN: the smaller part of that equation?

JOHN: what about the other part? don't you think that's, uh...

JOHN: a little more significant?

DAVE: what part

JOHN: the part about not being a homosexual!!!

DAVE: john

DAVE: dude i gotta say

DAVE: when you talk about being or not being "a homosexual" you kinda sound like a corny old man

JOHN: what! why?

JOHN: no, that's a normal way of putting it!

JOHN: i mean... it's a pretty normal thing to say, right? when that's... how... you are?

KARKAT: SOMEBODY FUCKING KILL ME.

DAVE: what does normal mean though

DAVE: normal was some crap that ruled our dead civilization

DAVE: we left that behind years ago

DAVE: its all a huge pile of shit that doesnt matter anymore

JOHN: oh. kay?

JOHN: so then, you're saying...

JOHN: what are you saying?

DAVE: im not sure i guess

JOHN: ...

DAVE: ok i guess what im saying is

DAVE: i dont think its all as simple as you think it is

DAVE: or maybe not like ACTIVELY think it is but continue to assume it is on account of NOT thinkin about it much

DAVE: due to a lot of junk about the subject that gets shoved into our brains from movies and stuff while we were just dumb kids

JOHN: i,

JOHN: hm.

DAVE: im just saying it probably isnt as absolute or simplistic as the way youve been framing it

DAVE: or maybe it is for you personally i dont know

DAVE: im just guessing you havent spent much time thinking about it if only cause all the stuff we read and watch suggests that like even examining your honest thoughts about it is perilous road to go down

DAVE: cause if you actually think too much about it without always having that undercurrent of haha nope nope nope THEN what happens

DAVE: what if it turns out youre like...

JOHN: ...like?

DAVE: like not exactly the way you thought you were

DAVE: or maybe not so much that, as old presumptions about what you were turn out to be not that relevant?

KARKAT: (WHY. WHY ARE THESE WORDS HAPPENING TO OUR CONVERSATION.)

DAVE: i dunno man

DAVE: not sure what youve been doing the last 3 years all riding a large boat, then saving everyone from apocalyptic whatever

DAVE: but ive had a fuck ton of time on my hands to think about stuff

DAVE: about stuff ive said and done in the past why i said and did them

DAVE: a lot of things i once would have insisted were like part of my brand and helped me come across cool and smartassy

DAVE: but now im not so sure

DAVE: we used rip on each other all the time for being gay even though we knew we werent which of course is what made it "funny" remember

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: i dunno, it was pretty funny, sometimes.

JOHN: it was just a lot of joking around!

DAVE: yeah i know

DAVE: it frankly IS funny to say how gay something is sometimes and lets face it sometimes someone or something is just flat out REALLY fucking gay and theres no two ways about it

DAVE: its more like that through the preponderance of all that jokey shit is an underlying implication that its all lame stuff for pansies but not like us no were not lame and ha ha thats the joke

DAVE: which thrives on this like double-buried implication that the REAL COOL SHIT is founded on this absurd wanky ideal about masculinity which if you think about it is 1. dumb as fuck 2. the male adulation of masculinity to that extent TO BE HONEST is pretty fucking gay unto itself and 3. was always some totally impossible shit for us to live up to anyway

DAVE: i think all thats mixed up with the same phony ideals about heroism

DAVE: like living up to the storybook idea of what a hero to me feels almost interchangeable with living up to societys snapshot of what a hard manly dude should be

DAVE: i stopped pretending i could ever live up to either thing a while ago

DAVE: and mainly have spent time looking back on the sheer magnitude of all my "joking around"

DAVE: i used to lambaste fuckers left and right grinding them into the pavement over how gay they probably were and how much they were quite possibly jonesin to kiss some dudes or such

DAVE: and i dont really feel bad about it in the sense that it was jerky or like "insensitive" necessarily even though i guess it maybe was

DAVE: more that i feel like it was probably transparent

DAVE: a massive front of outrageous snark to disguise a lot of insecurity

DAVE: like a fuckin coverup

DAVE: as long as i kept clowning hard about it i didnt actually have to think about it or face my actual beliefs

JOHN: dave, um.

JOHN: all that's cool and all, and...

JOHN: i think i mostly agree?

JOHN: but...

JOHN: ummmm, how do i put this.

JOHN: are you...

JOHN: are you gay now?

DAVE: what no

KARKAT: (THE WORDS. WHY WON'T THE WORDS STOP. DEAR GOD.)

JOHN: i dunno, it sounds to me like you're trying tell me something here!

DAVE: man no look

JOHN: i mean, it's ok if you're gay now!

JOHN: that's totally cool, if true.

JOHN: i just think...

JOHN: you turning gay would be kind of a weird consequence of me changing the time line around?

JOHN: ok, not "weird"...

JOHN: just, unexpected!

JOHN: i dunno what i did that would account for that.

JOHN: maybe saving one of terezi's plush toys did some goofy homosexual butterfly effect thing on you?

JOHN: jeez, who knows!

DAVE: dude you arent listening

DAVE: although a gay butterfly effect is a pretty funny idea lets not dismiss that as a concept altogether

DAVE: anyway maybe what im tryin to say is sorta getting lost in the weeds here

DAVE: the fact that you were wondering if i "turned gay" makes me think maybe youre still not quite on the wavelength im tryin to ramble on here

DAVE: maybe we should wrestle this topic to the ground another time, theres a lot more id wanna say but this is probably not the venue

DAVE: i mean not literally wrestle to the ground because that is maybe literally the gayest course of action we could possibly take but you know what i mean

KARKAT: (YES! LATER! TALK LATER, BECAUSE THEN THE WORDS WOULD STOP! OH WOULDN'T THAT BE LOVELY.)

JOHN: that's fine, we can talk about anything you want, any time.

JOHN: i'm just still confused about what you're getting at, is all.

JOHN: like, what is the bottom line here?

JOHN: are you actually attracted to boys now?

JOHN: do you...

JOHN: um.

JOHN: did you...

JOHN: like, date any boys?

DAVE: uh

JOHN: but there weren't even that many boys on the meteor?

JOHN: well, there's the clown guy, but i don't really see you and him...

JOHN: that really only leaves...

JOHN: um, were you and karkat...

JOHN: ARE you and karkat, like.

JOHN: hmm.

KARKAT: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

KARKAT: I RETREAT TO MY SAFE PLACE, AND YET THE WORDS. THE STUPID FUCKING PRATTLE JOCKEYING LIKE ROWDY BARNBEASTS UP AGAINST THE PARTITIONS OF GOOD FUCKING SENSE AND THE MOST BASIC OF PERSONAL BOUNDARIES.

KARKAT: THE GOD DAMNED BLITHER OF TACTLESS NINCOMPOOPS, HOW IT CONTINUES TO HAUNT MY WRETCHED EARS. THE WORDS SPILL OVER THE SIDE OF THIS ENCHANTED METAL FROG DISCUS, LIKE A BABBLING SPRING IN A MYTHICAL FOREST GOVERNED BY A GUILD OF GOSSIP-HUNGRY LOBOTOMY HOBBITS. THIS DELUGE OF WORDS, LEAKED FROM THE INCONTINENT CREVICES OF TWO BRAINLESS GUSHING YAMMERTWATS, IT OVERFLOWETH, OH HOW IT OVERFLOWETH, SOGGING MY GRAY, PRACTICAL PAIR OF PANTS, THE LEGGINGS OF A SIMPLE MAN. A HUMBLE MAN. IT THEN CONTINUES ITS DOWNWARD TRICKLE, DOUSING MY UNREMARKABLE SHIRT, THE SERVICEABLE GARMENT OF YOUR AVERAGE ALTERNIAN "JOE", CHILLING THE FRAIL TORSO BENEATH, A PATHETIC DUFFEL OF MEAT WRACKED WITH HEAVY SOBS, SOBS CAUSED BY WORDS, WORDS WHICH CONTINUE TO DRIP. AND SLEUCE. AND SPILL. THREATENING TO DROWN ME. PLEDGING TO. PROMISING! AND YET I WILL NOT DROWN. WHY WON'T I DROWN? PLEASE LET ME DROWN. LET ME DROWN SO THE WORDS WILL BE NO MORE!

JOHN: dave, i'm pretty sure we're making karkat uncomfortable now.

DAVE: yeah maybe we should drop this

JOHN: ok.

DAVE: i dunno if you ever picked this up from him but hes a pretty sensitive guy

JOHN: what?? nooooo.

DAVE: its true

DAVE: hes pretty much the easiest dude to rip on and makes for an irresistible target but you also have to know where to draw the line

DAVE: really dont wanna actually you know like

DAVE: upset him

JOHN: yeah, me neither.

JOHN: um...

JOHN: what the fuck is he doing?

DAVE: man i dont know

DAVE: thats just his regular shit

DAVE: like, an every day occurrence but with different bodily positions and geographic configurations

JOHN: i see.

DAVE: bro will you get the fuck up here

KARKAT: NO!

DAVE: k suit yourself

DAVE: um anyway

DAVE: as you can see ive been spending probably way too much time with trolls

JOHN: ha ha.

DAVE: it messes with you

DAVE: gets you thinkin about... stuff

DAVE: you know?

JOHN: i can imagine.

JOHN: i think life was a lot more boring on the ship.

JOHN: but we talked about you all a lot!

JOHN: we would always wonder how you and rose were managing to get along with all those crazy trolls.

JOHN: i think mostly we pictured a lot of arguments.

DAVE: thats not too far off

JOHN: i'm still getting used to having such insane, limitless powers that let me go anywhere i want...

JOHN: it's tempting to go to time periods like yours and find out what i missed.

JOHN: but i don't want to mess with too much anymore, since it seems like i got the time line to a nice stable place as it is.

JOHN: so i guess i just have to do what any regular guy does, and imagine fondly what it would be like if i got to travel with you guys.

JOHN: i wonder if i would have gotten like... absorbed in troll culture too? or troll ways of thinking.

DAVE: its really inevitable

DAVE: you pick up the lingo they pick up yours

DAVE: its like a stupid cultural melange after a while that barely makes any sense from either frame of reference

JOHN: i wonder if i would have learned to understand black romance?

JOHN: it's such a goofy idea, but it seems pretty important to trolls.

DAVE: they take all their quadrants pretty seriously tbh

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: years ago when we first met the trolls, i remember being pretty fascinated by all our cultural differences, when karkat and vriska were telling me about them.

JOHN: i remember really sincerely trying to understand it all from their point of view! it's hard though.

JOHN: i still think about the idea of black romance sometimes, and try to imagine how that really works... or "feels"... i don't know.

JOHN: do you understand it?

DAVE: yeah ive spent enough time talkin about it where i think i "get it" but

DAVE: ive never had cause or any real inclination to put it into practice or anything

JOHN: mainly the idea of hating somebody, and translating that into attraction, or some kind of romancey feeling... it feels so alien to me.

JOHN: and you're right, i have a really hard time even hating anyone in the first place!

DAVE: word

JOHN: i mean, i get ANNOYED by people, sure.

DAVE: like who

DAVE: me?

JOHN: no, not really.

JOHN: well, sometimes, but not much. i always tended to exaggerate my grievances with you, for the sake of laughs.

DAVE: heheh

JOHN: a better example is, more recently, when i was doing my retcon mission...

JOHN: i was getting REALLY annoyed with terezi and her mind games.

DAVE: yuuup

JOHN: it definitely never crossed the line to "hate" though, because we were working together to try and fix a dire situation, and even though she's weird and insane, she's otherwise a pretty good friend.

JOHN: but all her needling and japes at totally inappropriate times, when there was so much on the line...

JOHN: argh, it was SO FRUSTRATING.

KARKAT: EGBERT, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.

DAVE: whoa hes back!

DAVE: all right side up and everything

KARKAT: I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT QUADRANTS, SO I DECIDED TO PAUSE MY TANTRUM.

KARKAT: JOHN, ALL YOU'RE DOING HERE IS DESCRIBING THE SUBTLE FEELINGS WHICH PLANT THE SEED FOR HAVING A CALIGINOUS CRUSH ON SOMEONE.

JOHN: what??

KARKAT: YOU HEARD ME.

KARKAT: YOU ARE NAIVELY ADMITTING TO STRUGGLING WITH SOME BLACK FEELINGS FOR TEREZI.

KARKAT: SO, THERE YOU GO. QUESTION ANSWERED.

KARKAT: TURNS OUT YOU ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF BLACK ROMANCE.

JOHN: n... no!

KARKAT: A FAIR REBUTTAL. HOWEVER, CONSIDER THIS COUNTERPOINT:

KARKAT: Y... YES???

JOHN: but i don't HATE her, and i'm sure i never will!

JOHN: i'm just saying i find her, like, somewhat annoying, and REALLY aggravating a lot of the time, but that's it!

KARKAT: BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE FEELING IS!

KARKAT: IT DOESN'T START OUT AS FULL BLOWN ANTIPATHY, AND IT RARELY EVEN REACHES SUCH AN EXTREME LEVEL OF HOSTILITY EVEN OVER LONG TERM BLACK RELATIONSHIPS.

KARKAT: THERE ARE PEAKS TO IT, BUT OTHERWISE A GENERAL EBB AND FLOW TO THE DARK FEELINGS, JUST LIKE WITH FLUSHED RELATIONSHIPS.

JOHN: ok, but...

JOHN: i don't know if i'm expressing myself clearly.

JOHN: i felt aggravated by her a lot, but that doesn't fully describe...

JOHN: like, there were those "negative" feelings, but also...

JOHN: but...

KARKAT: YEAH, THAT'S IT, RIGHT THERE!!!

KARKAT: THE "BUT" IS ALWAYS PART OF IT.

KARKAT: WHAT YOU'RE *TRYING* TO SAY IS, YOU HAD FRUSTRATED, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARD HER, BUT THEY DON'T COMPREHENSIVELY ACCOUNT FOR YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD HER.

KARKAT: MEANING, THERE ARE SOME THINGS ABOUT HER YOU ACTUALLY LIKE, BUT THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS MAKE IT HARD FOR YOU TO PUT YOUR FINGER ON THEM, OR EVEN WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM.

KARKAT: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY STANDARD. WHAT GOOD WOULD IT BE HAVING A KISMESIS WHO DIDN'T POSSESS QUALITIES YOU ACTUALLY ADMIRED ON SOME LEVEL?

KARKAT: THAT WOULD BE BORING, AND IT WOULDN'T EVEN WORK. THERE'D BE NO TENSION, NO PUSH AND PULL IN THE TURBULENT EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE. THE SUBTLE POSITIVES ADD FUEL TO THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, OFTEN GIVING THEM A REASON TO EXIST AT ALL. THEY INFLAME THE AGGRAVATING FACTORS, REMINDING YOU DEEP DOWN HOW MUCH YOU WOULD LIKE AND ADMIRE THIS PERSON IF IT WASN'T FOR ALL THEIR INFURIATING FLAWS, AND THE INCREDIBLE SENSE OF FRUSTRATION THAT CAUSES ALONG WITH ALL THE ASSOCIATED HOT-HEADED FEELINGS, THAT'S THE ESSENCE OF BLACK ROMANCE.

KARKAT: AND THE POSITIVE QUALITIES YOU SEE DEEP DOWN IN A KISMESIS ALSO SERVE AS THE BASIS FOR RED FEELINGS TOWARD THAT PERSON, ASSUMING THE RELATIONSHIP EVER STARTS TO VACILLATE.

KARKAT: IT'S ALL PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, REALLY.

JOHN: no... this is messed up!

DAVE: i dunno john it all sounds pretty logical to me

DAVE: karkat knows his shit when it comes to quadrants

JOHN: argh!

JOHN: it can't be true though...

JOHN: it feels so fucked up!

JOHN: what if you're right though... erg! no...

JOHN: no, no, no, no...

KARKAT: THAT'S PART OF IT TOO!

KARKAT: THE "NO NO NO" IS ALL PART OF THE FEELING. THAT'S HOW IT *ALWAYS* GOES.

KARKAT: THIS SENSE OF SELF INCRIMINATION WHEN IT'S DAWNING ON YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE CONFLICTING FEELINGS TOWARD SOMEONE WHO BUGS YOU SO MUCH.

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, THIS WHOLE REACTION IS SO FUCKING TEXTBOOK. IT'S HILARIOUS, REALLY.

JOHN: it's fucked up though!!!

KARKAT: IT'S SUPPOSED TO FEEL FUCKED UP!

JOHN: aw, man. :(

JOHN: i just wanted to have a nice catch-up chat, not get so transparently owned at the trollmances.

DAVE: it happens to the best of us sooner or later

DAVE: this crap is kind of old hat to me by now but i get why youre kinda freckling at the implications here

DAVE: you didnt have years of livin with trolls to kinda normalize this stuff

JOHN: i don't think i want it to feel normalized though!

JOHN: i'm not ready to...

JOHN: like, admit that... i have some warped spade crush on her, based on...

JOHN: some feeling i don't understand and makes no sense to me!

JOHN: oh god... what if it's true??

JOHN: i have to try as hard as i can to suppress this feeling and make sure i never think about it again!

DAVE: ok sounds like a weenie thing to do but sure have fun with that

JOHN: fuck.

JOHN: yeah, probably.

JOHN: just...

JOHN: please don't tell her about any of this, ok guys?

KARKAT: JOHN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND US ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL STATUTES OF THE BRO CODE, WHICH IS PRACTICALLY FUCKING SCRIPTURE ON MY PLANET, DATING BACK HUNDREDS OF MILLENIA.

KARKAT: DAVE AND I FUCKING SLEEP AND BREATHE THE BRO CODE AND ALL OF ITS CLAUSES, NO MATTER HOW FINE THE PRINT.

KARKAT: FEEL FREE TO COME AND TALK TO US ABOUT THIS ANY TIME. YOUR SECRETS WILL ALWAYS BE SAFE.

DAVE: dude that sentiment is well and good but

DAVE: when youre pledging a vow of secrecy maybe you should try to keep it down a little

KARKAT: DAMN. YEAH.

KARKAT: SORRY.

JOHN: this is really confusing though.

JOHN: assuming you're right, and i am "busted" on having those feelings... and i'm not even saying you aren't.

JOHN: but...

JOHN: i thought humans weren't supposed to be able to feel stuff like that?

KARKAT: LIKE WHAT EXACTLY?

JOHN: like, perceive and feel romantic stuff, in the same way trolls do.

JOHN: because we're aliens to each other!

JOHN: well ok, humans can feel the gay stuff pretty often, i guess.

JOHN: i didn't think we could feel the spade stuff, though.

JOHN: i dunno, i just thought it was some screwy biological difference?

DAVE: nah i disagree

DAVE: both humans and trolls are emotionally versatile sentient beings that can feel many hells of different things

JOHN: you're probably right.

JOHN: you would know better than me, at least.

DAVE: thats always a smart fallback position btw

DAVE: especially on rap

DAVE: i could school you on rap too are you confused about rap

JOHN: no dave, i think i'm pretty squared away on rap.

JOHN: at least for now. :p

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: this has been a hell of a reminiscence so far

JOHN: yeah...

DAVE: seriously though i wasnt actually intending to fork this like instantaneously in the direction of some like

DAVE: legitimately sincere dialogue on fuckin sexuality and romance

DAVE: i didnt plan on this dude you gotta believe me

JOHN: i believe you!

JOHN: it's been cool though.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: did we cover everything

JOHN: um...

JOHN: probably not?

JOHN: oh, right.

JOHN: you dated jade for a while, so there's that.

DAVE: whoa what

JOHN: i mean, dave sprite did.

DAVE: oh

JOHN: and of course i mean, the one from my time, obviously not the one from this time, who died i guess before that happened.

DAVE: right

JOHN: man, that still just seems... so sad.

JOHN: i guess even when you fix things, not everything can be perfect.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: so

DAVE: howd that go

DAVE: me and jade

DAVE: or...

DAVE: him and jade

JOHN: ok, i guess.

JOHN: my sense was, it was kind of dramatic overall.

JOHN: i'm not sure it was the best relationship, probably because of dave sprite's uh...

JOHN: "unique issues".

DAVE: hmm

JOHN: but there were a lot of fun memories.

JOHN: i'll tell you about them some time. maybe when jade is awake, because i'm sure she'd want to know too!

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: hey

DAVE: um

JOHN: ?

DAVE: the girl you came with

DAVE: roses mom

JOHN: roxy?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: whats she like

JOHN: she's nice!!!

JOHN: really nice.

JOHN: she is fun and easy to talk to...

JOHN: it almost feels like she has always been one of our friends, you know?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: how uh

DAVE: how long have you and she actually been traveling together

JOHN: umm...

JOHN: not too long.

JOHN: we only met like a day ago, i mean, from my perspective.

DAVE: huh

JOHN: she's been through some really difficult stuff recently.

JOHN: well, we both have, actually.

JOHN: but i feel like it was all... a bit more personal for her?

JOHN: being on her adventure, then suddenly losing all her friends, and watching rose die right there, while she'd been kinda viewing rose as a version of her mom...

JOHN: i was just some goofball drifting randomly here and there between realities, so i was mostly just confused by everything.

JOHN: but for her, i could tell it was all really devastating.

JOHN: i'm so happy she gets to be with rose again!!!!!!!!!!

JOHN: not to mention all her other friends!

JOHN: for some reason i feel happier for her getting to reunite with people she lost than i do for myself.

DAVE: it sounds like you like her

JOHN: i do!

DAVE: no i mean

DAVE: actually like her

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: ... uh, hm.

JOHN: i don't know.

JOHN: maybe.

DAVE: wow dude after one day maybe you should slow your roll

JOHN: i didn't say i did though!!!

DAVE: im joking its fine who cares

JOHN: oh, ok.

DAVE: shes my mom isnt she

JOHN: man.

JOHN: i'm not sure if we should keep thinking about all our relations that way.

DAVE: why

JOHN: it's kinda weird!

DAVE: is it

JOHN: ...

DAVE: do you feel weird about dating my mom is that it

JOHN: i'm not dating her though!

DAVE: but if you did

DAVE: then you wouldnt wanna think of her like that because of like the familial weirdtimes it invokes

JOHN: jeez.

JOHN: i don't know. i...

JOHN: i don't know if i'm ready for every single "deep" conversation we can squeeze into this wacky rapid fire session of fun pal-talk!

DAVE: ok

DAVE: but

DAVE: i think i like thinking of her as my mom

DAVE: even if its a lil weird

JOHN: you do?

JOHN: why?

DAVE: not sure

DAVE: i never even stopped and thought about it before

DAVE: the idea of what it would be like to have a mom

DAVE: instead of a hyper-aggressive lunatic of an adult male guardian

DAVE: i never let myself give it a second of consideration

DAVE: but now

DAVE: seeing her actually here even though shes just some teen girl i never met

DAVE: i like the idea

DAVE: its nice

JOHN: ...

JOHN: ok, that's actually kind of cute.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: yeah i guess it kind of fucking is

JOHN: alright, well.

JOHN: no matter what happens, it's ok with me if you want to think of her that way. :)

DAVE: sweet

#homestuck #john egbert #dave strider #karkat vantas #vriska serket #homestuck act 6 #page 7487 #page 7488 #page 7489 #page 7490 #page 7491 #page 7492 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5

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moisummertime · 2 years ago

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I am not done changing Out on the run, changing I may be old and I may be young But I am not done changing

John Mayer - Changing

the past few days I've been rereading my old blog. I tried to see what I went through all those days where all I did was just crying every night, torturing myself with the thought that no one would never makes me happy like he did and blah blah blah. And reading that from the perspective of I am now feels weird and strange. I felt bad for what my old self had to go through, and all those days where she just had to be trapped in the idea that she doesn't deserve love was damn... I somehow glad I am right here, right now, in this state where I just surrender to whatever the universe put myself into. If I'm not fine now, I'll be fine later. I always be.

Revisiting those days somehow also make me feel more empowered and confident. Like I saw I went through those shits, I'm confident enough that can go through everything in this life. It wasn't just me, if things go wrong, everything take part in make that plot twist. Life isn't just suddenly feel jealous of you and want to see you suffer. Earlier today I had a talk about how uncomfortable changes can be, but change is just the only thing that is constant in life. Change of age, change of place, change of heart, change of emotion, the wheel of life will keeps going around, the earth rotate, and everything constantly developing and evolving. There's always new way of every part of life.

Comfort is temporary, and it's the only thing that disillusion people. Thinking that good days stays, but suddenly a tornado just destroy everything entirely and you have to start over. again. And the cycle never stops.

On the other side, the catastrophic days isn't gonna last forever. good days come, you'll see the sun again. You'll find yourself in comfort again. But then again how you respond to changes matter. So when things change, I'll just accept it. Okay, so what's next? Whether I divert my focus or embrace that change for a bit to feel the sense of it, that's def depends on me. I probably panic first for sure and getting some anxiety attack but it's not gonna last that long. My confidence ass knows what I can do better in such situation.

Having a priority.

Am I sad and anxious with the recent change at work and my personal life? Sure? Am I gonna drown it it? maybe a little bit. What I can do to make my life get better? Take my ass into that driver seat and start driving to the direction where I can and confident to go.

I'm for sure right now is too old to just seek temporal validation from men through social media, online dating, and even bar/club. I like when recruiter just spamming my LinkedIn messages and even asking me connection. Like it's so fucking noisy these days omg get in line people *blushed*

What's important to me now is to advance my career and get a lot of money. Thanks to my parents who never spoil me and my mom who always said that I shouldn't rely financially on anyone especially men (Thanks Dad for making my mom feel that way). So yeah, that's why although I met a lot of rich men, they're too boring for me. Like I need passionate person who chase his dream, fun, kind, and smart. The least thing I expect from their kind is money. Personality goes first ;) And def, the most important is connection. I might dated a lot of guys. I can count with 1 hand fingers how many men I have connection with. It's that rare, yes. That's why I appreciate it when I get one.

But then again, although love isnt my priority right now. Id welcome it if I were blessed to have it. Just because I have priority doesnt mean I neglect the other things in my life. Its like juggling. Everything takes turn to be on the top. You dont just spend 1 day focusing on work. Theres time to eat l, to chill, to spend time with your loved one, to get some quality me time. With some practice, we can do it.

I mean any radical shift that happen in life, it's definitely better to ride along with it. You see the wave comes, you surf. Always have a surfing board with yourself so you know what to do. Experiences is like a surfing board. Let's be honest, we all have gone through so many radical shifts in life. Breakups, covid, cheating, relocating, new job, death, etc. I don't know how people handle changes, but I always try to learn from it and add the experience to my library so I can use the reference to move forward in life. And the learning never stops. Of course, Im still well and alive so it will never stop. def gonna stop once I die hehe.

I remember I had this Tarot reading back in early 2021. Tarot reader is my best friend in navigating life. They don't predict your future, they just give reading of the card and help you be more mindful in navigating your present life in so you can be better in future.

Some psychic can see future but well, no one knows exactly. Because if you watch avengers and the ancient one explained how timeline works, your choice will determine it. So I got several interesting card in that sessions.

Seven of Swords, Page of Swords, Temperance, Empress, and Queen of Swords.

A lot of Sword cards. Sneaky, agile, nurturing, feminine, and Independent.

Im reading that again and see myself now. This woman was fucking right. I forgot about this reading and I was like... mindblown. My sad ass in 2021 seems like following her advice to navigate my life those times.

And the intuitive message that I got... maybe that's not that I'm "Spiritually Sensitive." I just read patterns better ;)

Growing older never feel this empowering. Wait, is it what it feels like when they said about someone who got their shit together? 😂

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deliciouspirateangel · 2 years ago

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Finished season 5 of PLL so I have to ramble

it felt like it took us about ten years to get thru this season. some of those eps were dragging and i think i zoned out more during this season than any other

i knew mona was still alive so that twist didn’t get me but it was still a lot of fun to see it play out

SPEAKING of mona. how on god’s green earth can you be on trial for murder when they NEVER FOUND A BODY??? also how are they going to arrest the other girls as accomplices when they weren’t even the ones on trial??? like as soon as they decide ali is a killer they have grounds to immediately send the other girls to prison??? ok

but the absolute stupidest moment this season. was all four girls signing up for a blood drive. to willingly have blood taken out of their bodies and put in lil vials where anyone could snatch it up and use it to fake dna evidence. and you’ll never guess what happened??? like yeah sometimes they make dumb decisions and you’re like “well it wasn’t the best choice but they dont have all the information” or “well they’re like 16 sometimes you do dumb things” but MY GOD this was the idiot moment to trump all idiot moments. this was just downright stewpid. it was five seconds into the episode and we had to pause so i could rant about how idiotic it was aksljfsldfs. especially bc hanna and caleb KNEW there were ziploc bags full of bloody clothes that were evidence for mona’s “murder” and ???? she still gave blood???? maybe she deserved to get arrested alksfjdklsfjdlsfjsdk

but anyway speaking of hanna and caleb they really are like That Ship like they were so fucking ride or die for each other turned up to 11 this season. caleb was like “if you get arrested then im getting arrested too idgaf” and in the dollhouse hanna tells A “if i see caleb in here i will Kill You” like holy shit i love the devotion, i love them so so much

toby was... a cop. he started out with good intentions and the whole “this town is full of crooked cops so you could at least have a crooked cop thats on your side” was sooo true bestie but he kind of got lost in the sauce after that oops. he started to come around and wise up so hopefully he gets better

the relationships this season had me tearing my hair out. paige gets put on a bus which, yay, get out of here. and then two seconds later a grown woman is trying to get with emily. and the second spoby is on the rocks there’s some weirdo living in spencer’s barn that’s trying to get with her. and im still not sure what his age is but that receding hairline they tried to disguise with his stringy bangs tells me he’s too old for her. oh and adam from glee i almost forgot him. and aria doesnt have any time away from ezra before she’s hitting up her tutor. at least he’s her age. but goddamn these girls cannot take a single breath without being involved in ten different kinds of relationship drama at the same time. its exhausting. it would not kill them to be single for one damn episode

speaking of disgusting age gap relationships. we had to pause the show again just so i could scream about ezria for about the 9184930th time. bc. ezra is mad at caleb over mike, talking about how mike’s just a kid and if he makes the wrong decision then it could fuck up the rest of his life and he’s way too young to do that. mike is sixteen. so ezra views a sixteen year old boy as a kid but a sixteen year old girl is a viable romantic option? ok... ezra deserved to have his dick chopped off, his skin flayed, and be thrown in a vat of acid. minimum. it’s the least he deserves aklsjfskldf

anyway big picture i liked a lot of aspects of the mystery unfolding?? but as a whole this season felt sooo draggy like hurry it up already. the finale was fun and im actually looking forward to starting the next season. two left, we’re sooo close to the end!!!

spencer, caleb, and hanna are still my faves, in that order. toby fell off a little but i still like him. emily is okay it’s just her relationships that are rotted. and aria’s relationships are rotted but i also just dont like her as a person. i dont trust ali and quite frankly i dont believe a damn thing she says ever. mona is a queen and im so glad she’s back. literally everyone over the age of 20 on this show can fuck off and die bc they’re all nasty lmao. thats my thoughts on all the characters <3

#pretty little liars #pll #my thoughts #angel watches stuff #angel watches pretty little liars

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shenanogram · 4 months ago

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one guy said yay so here!!!! "the first thing that happens is that on the week the great twisting is happening, michael is in hospital because of appendicitis. instead gertrude takes sara carpenter and emma harvey to the great twisting instead. emma believes she can make it out and orchestrate saras suffering, but they are both caught and made into the distortion together, bound with the same webs emma used to cause fiona laws death. when gertrude returns, she tells michael they got "lost" gertrude than makes her focus on gerry and stopping the unknowing, leaving michael alone in the archives for months at a time. Later, gerry dies too, and gertrude shortly after. Keep in mind, he has no idea about any of the fears. he just thinks he has really shit luck

jonah decides michael would make a good enough archivist. His curiosity is not anything above average, but his trust was exceptional. He would believe, or perhaps be willfully ignorant of things to the contrary, you told him. Jonah decides that if he plays his cards right, if he places his assistants in enough danger and set them up just right, michael could be marked by every fear and become a vessel for the eye it didnt hurt that he was already plenty marked by the end, with his own near death experiences and all of his friends and coworkers dying within just a few years. so Jonah promoted him. He could, in theory, say no of course. But he couldnt quit. and why not get extra pay from his shitty job

Jonah picks his assistants, Jonathan sims, Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker, and Sasha James. Almost all already working in research and marked by a fear of their own. he would usually leave the choice of assistants to the archivist, but he doesnt trust michael to pick the right ones

when the assistants first meet michael they do NOT have a good impression. Michael is now in his mid thirties and no less awkward than he was before, along with this, he has become quite jaded. He doesnt want to admit he cares about these employees for fear of them ending the same way the others did. He mostly stays in his office all day, reading statements and doing research, only popping out to give statements for the others to research, or even more rarely to go to the breakroom

i think his journey with the statements is actually pretty similar to jons. at first he questions them all fiercly, as surely his friends in the archive would have told him if something more sinister was going on. When Jane Prentiss locks martin in his flat for 2 weeks, he can no longer deny it this starts causing him to start rethinking his relationship with emma his old colleagues, but not gertrude, not yet. (side note: as an assistant jon is a little more open to the idea of the supernatural, he doesnt feel the same need to put on a brave face)

soooo jane prentis shit gos mainly unchanged? the big thing that is changed is that sasha lives. but its not very. wholesome. she still comes across the table, but instead of the not!them taking her, she recognizes the thing locked in the table as something like her. The not!them seems to recognize this too, and they have a moment of silent recognition before sasha runs in terror, she thinks the familiar fear of the worms is better than the unfamiliar pull of herself toward this other creature. she is the first in the archive to begin a journey as an avatar.

also! character developement! during the whole incident the assistants learn that while michael doesnt like to show it or even admit it to himself, he cares about them quite a bit! this doesnt last long tho because he gets the paranoia in s2 like jon does,,,,

i think he wouldnt stalk his coworkers,,, i think he would shut himself off more. of course the murder of gertrude robinson was not great for him, but his fear of death paled in comparison to the fear that his assistants could be lying to him. could lie like emma and sara did. maybe to him they deceived Gertrude too. after the vulnerability he showed durring the prentiss incident it was like whiplash. he starts not even coming in during the day at all, only communicating with his assistants through email. they dont know when he sleeps, as he sends them during the day too,,,, i think a lot of the season 2 plot would be the assistants trying to convince michael to maybe sleep sometimes and not work all throughout the night also polyarchives they r actively falling in love btw sorryyyyy

i think michaels behavior concerns the archival assistants but it also pisses thm off. like we all went through that why are you being so difficult about it? why wont you let us help? while all this stuff is happening a random researcher is not!them'ed. someone irrelevant idk also!!! he meats emma and sara distortion! it traumatizes him horribly! end goal is michael+polyarchives btw. they kill jonah magnus and stop the apocolypse and are gay together web martin, spiral jon, stranger sasha, and tim escapes"

do we wanna hear the archivist michael brain dump. yay or nae

#tumblr fucking hated this one #would not let me post #its from a brain dump to a friend so sorry if it doesnt make sense #tma #michael shelly #michael distortion #the magnus archives

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marunalu · 2 years ago

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Remember how Hori made us think Hakagure was the traitor and he left it as a cliffhanger only for it to be revealed that Aoyama is the real traitor? What if he makes us initially believed All for One is Izukus dad only for something else to happen?

Honestly anon, you cant really compare this two situations with each other and I will explain why. First of, hori never hinted in any kind of way that hagakure is the traitor. She NEVER acted suspicious or weird around others. She always was a cheer- and joyful young teenage girl around everyone else. Never did or said something that could be considered sus. The ONLY reason why a lot of people suspected her to be the traitor is because of her QUIRK. She is invicible, that was the only reason why people thought she is the traitor. Compare that to aoyama: from his VERY FIRST introducion in the manga something about him seemed strange. Me and a few other people like @psychomurderz startet to believe that he is the traitor LONG before the reveal happend, because at one point the hints hori gave us were just to obvious. In fact a lot of people who were certain its hagakure said: "aoyama is just to obvious. There needs to be a twist, otherwise its just bad writing or boring." And what was the result? Exactly the most obvious choice was the right one.

If a chicken looks like a chicken, makes sounds like a chicken and walks like a chicken, you can be sure IT IS in fact a chicken and not a dog!

Hori planted the hints that aoyama is the real traitor already at THE VERY BEGINNING of his story, people just claimed there needs to be a twist for a twists sake. The moment hori making it look like as if hagakure is the traitor was not so much a cliffhanger but nothing more then a red herring. It would be foolish of us to think that hori isnt aware about what his readers think or what theorys they make up. He was simply teasing hagakure as the traitor without the story showing any hints or evidences for that, because he knew most people would eat it up and revealed the real traitor right in the next chapter. Personally (and I hope that doesnt sound arrogant) I KNEW it was a bluff! Maybe its because I have already read a lot of storys and was part of many fandoms and at one point you just get when an author is serious about something and when not. I knew hagakure was a red herring, I knew severus snape was in love with lily potter since reading book 3, I knew in yashahime it was adult rin inside the tree and not kagome and so many people called me delusional and crazy. Guess who had the last laugh in all these examples 😏😉

So you see, dfo has pretty much nothing to do with hagakures fake reveal, because there are tons of hints and evidences for dfo while there was NOTHING that backed up hagakure as the traitor, except that people found her quirk fitting for a villain (poor girl) and that aoyama was to obvious. Like I already said, sometimes the most obvious choice and easiest route is the right one. Really good authors dont do twists for the sake of it, they plant the seeds throu out the whole story for readers to pick them up. Subtle enough for readers to question it, but still with enough evidence for it not comming out of the blue and people realizing that something is going on with that specific character or that specific situation.

So dfo has way more in common with the aoyama traitor reveal (and interesting enough people claimed with both theorys its to obvious to be true), because hori planted the seeds for both theorys from the very beginning. Aoyama was portraied as sus from his very first appearance in the manga and chapter 1 gave us already the first dfo hint, with introducing us to izukus quirk doctor, who a little bit later is revealed as afos minion and most trusted follower. Hori wove a connection between izuku and afo by connecting them with the same doctor.

Also garaki doesnt take everyone as his patient. He is the best quirk doctor of whole japan and only takes patients with a lot of influence and money like the todorokis. Inko and izuku dont fit that image AT ALL, except if hisashi is someone way more then just a normal business man with a normal income. An other hint we already got very early is hisashis name. The meaning of hisashis name no matter with which kanjis you write it, all fit all for one so perfectly like a fist on the eye. Hori will NOT make his readers initially believe afo is izukus father with putting (espicially if we remember how many people still deny it or say its way to obvious) so much hints in the story since chapter 1 just to make a twist for a twists sake. He is a better author then that! And now in the latest chapter even hawks realizes that something weird is going on with afo and it has nothing to do with rewind. Hawks realizes that afo doesnt trust afomura around izuku and afos silence about that matter speaks volumes. He is not worried about being rewinded to nothing, he is not worried about afomura, he doesnt even trust him. Afo is in a hurry and worried, because of izuku. Because remember izuku was never supposed to be part of that battle.

#bnha #bnha dad for one #hagakure #aoyama #bnha all for one

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arllenn · 3 years ago

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SEVERANCE

Severance: 1

the action of ending a connection or relationship.

the state of being separated or cut off.

In which the relationship between teen mc and the brothers is severed.

TW - self deprecating thoughts, contemplation of self harm, general angst, abandonment, mentions of violence

Mc - it’s briefly mentioned that they have nothing for them in the human world, implying that they don’t have friends or family and ik that’s doesnt leave room for projection in the family sense but I still felt like it was necessary to add to the story.

Your back slammed into the lockers behind you. You gasped out, lungs clawing and veins burning begging for the air that was knocked out of you to be returned. This was so stupid. You had no idea what these demons had against you, and even less of an idea as to why you didn’t fight back. You had the seven avatars of sin at you beck and call and you still did nothing to defend yourself. Why- why didn’t you call on them? Why couldn’t you just open up your mouth and say even a syllable of one of their names?

A hand scraped through your scalp. Claws digging into the tender skin there, drawing blood. You wanted to scream out in pain. But you also didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt you. You weren’t sure how long the assault went on but eventually after only getting gasps out of you the demons seemed to grow bored after not being able to witness the pained reactions they wanted from you. You sat there leaning into the lockers, wishing the metal would mold around you and swallow you whole.

Eventually, mechanically, you got up, a simple machine running through its tasks. Picking up your school items that had been strewn about, nodding politely to those who acknowledged you, and likewise being sure to advert your eyes from those who you had a bad streak with. Walking back to the house of Lamentation, a place you would've once considered a second home but, was nothing more than a suffocating cage to you now. Making sure to leave an extra few steps in-between you and the alley ways that seemed ever so prevalent in the Devildom, hugging close to the walls of the gothic buildings when anyone passed by you. You were close now, your pace slowed considerably, to the kind of pace that even a snail would be frustrated with. Maybe it was then, when you started thinking of the house of Lamentation that you regained your senses. You felt stinging in the back of your eyes, and a lump lodged itself in your throat. You wanted to scream out your frustration, hating the pins and needles feeling that settled itself behind your eyes and skimmed along your tear ducts anytime you thought of the brothers. Humans are foolish weak creatures, easy to sway with sin, and in this moment your pride quakes and with it the fragile feelings that you've tried so hard to ignore. Somewhere deep within your mind you remind yourself that it's ok to cry, that its ok to feel emotions and show that you aren't some unaffected stone wall to those around you, that you're a real living breathing person. But then your pride crushes that thought, your ego not allowing you to show any weakness, for even the concept of someone laughing at you, no not even that, the mere concept of someone knowing about the twisted darkness that touted about your mind was horrifying. Making your gut twist with nausea at the thought.

Your DDD buzzed from within your pocket, a message from Mammon on the screen: "Hey MC I can't make it to movie night today, promised Lilith that I'd take her out on the town y'know." This was the third week in a row Mammon had blow you off, lately it seemed like all the brothers only spoke to you to tell you that they were cancelling your plans with them or it was them asking you to lend them something they had gifted you, only for you to see Lilith with it a few days later boasting about how much her brothers loved her. At first you had rained on her parade, telling her just who that item she loved so much belonged to, shoving her brothers misdeeds in her face, you reveled in the way that her face twisted into a frown, the smallest and meekest of apologies slipping from her lips. Was this why Satan constantly terrorized Lucifer you wondered, it truly did feel good to tear down the one who everyone thought of as the better you, to see them crash and fall, watch them sink into he depths that you practically lived in. Eventually Belphegor had caught on and during a fight between you and him about it, Lucifer had walked in. The rest is long since history, now you and Lilith aren't allowed to be alone together.

Clutching your DDD in your grasp, briefly wishing that it would crumble under the force of your grip and blow up, a feat that was beyond something that your feeble strength could ever manage, you cursed your selfishness under you breath. What right did you, a nobody who stuck their nose in places where it doesn't belong, have to feel this terrible about the situation you currently found yourself in.

Maybe it's because you weren't the same age as them, well no human could ever be, Solomon excluded, but you still weren't mentally as developed as them. Maybe it's because you were never truly a part of the family, a replacement that took the place of the real thing until it could return to its original place. You knew that wasn't true, once upon a time you all had truly been close, had an, in your opinion, unshakeable bond. But now... you couldn't stop yourself from second guessing those times. Had the brothers ever truly seen you as your own person? Had you always just been a descendant of their precious younger sister to them? You clutched your lips in-between your teeth, slightly reveling in the stinging pain it brought. Why were you so selfish? You should. be happy for the brothers. After so long they had finally been able to meet their sister, you had been the one that made their reunion possible. So why did jealousy claw at your chest and make your throat burn with bile? You constantly pretended like you were some kind of always virtuous saint, but in the end you were just a dirty person who only thought of themselves. In the end you were the real demon. You couldn't do anything right. You couldn’t keep up with work, you couldn’t keep their interest, you just weren’t good enough for them, and the fault lay with you for ever thinking that you were good enough for a true role in their family. You were never a permanent fixture in their family, just some human brat that they had to deal with for the year. Who were you to them anyways? Some random weak human who managed to con their way into their interests and, as though your hard work to get them to look at you with anything other than cold disdain didn’t matter, you had slipped straight out of their interest all over again.

Lilith was everything you pretended to be and so much more, you bitterly had to admit that to yourself on one of the first nights of her return. Lilith was almost like an idealized being, someone who you looked up to and also wanted to tear down, a feeling that you hated experiencing. You and her had been close pre-reanimation but now you could only glance at her from across the house, desperately wishing that in you were in her place, that you were the beloved little sibling the brothers were doting on, just as you had been back then.

The shrill tone of your DDD ringing broke you out of your stupor, causing you to jolt back in shock nearly dropping the expensive device as a result. You truly did wish it would just destroy itself and you alongside it. Would they look at you then? Spare you the time of day for even a single glance at your mangled body? A twisted satisfaction bubbled in your gut at the idea of them feeling bad, possibly even guilty, upon discovering that you'd been hurt. A sick, twisted and euphoric drew your vision to your veins, bulging out of your arm because of your death grip on your DDD, which had long since stopped ringing and had switched to vibrations as you were bombarded with messages. Maybe they would toss Lilith aside just as they had done to you. Maybe she would drown in the feelings that you currently are. Eventually you acknowledged that train of thought as beyond wrong, but it still hung on in twinges within the depths of your sick little mind. You began to walk forward again, waiting until the buzzing of the messages slowed to look at what you had been sent. Apparently you had missed a call from Mammon, not surprising considering the fact that you didn't respond to his original message, and Mammon hates to be ignored, though he seems to have no regard for how those he ignores himself feel, but that's neither here nor there you suppose.

Most of his messages are junk like:

"Oi human is this because of what I said earlier"

"don't be such a big baby its not that big a deal"

"HEY DON'T IGNORE ME"

"D'YA REALLY THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IGNORING THE GREAT MAMMON?"

You may or may not have skipped the rest of his ramblings after that. But his last message made you pause:

"Sucks to be ya Lucifer wants to see ya as soon as ya get home."

Heaving a sigh you pick up your pace, briskly walking the bitter air of the Devildom stung your inner ears, causing an uncomfortable itchy feeling on your skin. Shrugging your bag further onto your shoulder you walked up the steps to the house of lamentation, sucking in a deep breath to calm your frayed nerves, it didn't work, it never truly did. As soon as you entered you were greeted with none other than Lucifer himself, the same scowl he always seemed to wear directed at you. You couldn't help but think of the time before all of this had started. He never would've looked at you like that, it was only a look you had ever seen him cast at the demons who he thought were worthless blights to the Devildom. He had never cast it at Mammon even on the days when he generated the worst of issues. So, seeing it directed at you like this, it made you want to curl up and shrivel away. Your stomach seemed to have the same idea, creating wave after wave of nausea. Your legs seemed to go rigid, your calfs tensing.

He seemed to be surveying you at first, before finally pounding the tension in between you two into a brick and slamming it in your face. "Mc we need to speak in my office, now." You didn't need to be told twice, scurrying after him your ears picked up on Asmo's giggles from the sofa, looking over you two made eye contact. He allowed a vindictive smile to spread across his lips, marring his features and creating an aura far different from the bubbly one you were used to. He raised his hand in a greeting, bursting into further giggles at the sight of your eyes widening.

You hadn't even noticed you had come to a full stop until Lucifer growled your name from the top of the stairs. You panickedly looked from Asmodeus back to Lucifer before flying up the stairs muttering apology after apology. Lucifer grabbed you by the arm, pulling you towards his office walking at a brisk pace that left you stumbling and awkwardly being essentially dragged. You wondered if you were slightly more delusional if you would be able to convince yourself that he was holding your hand tenderly. Eventually you two made it to his office where he gave one final tug on your arm, causing you to slam into the door frame, your arm buzzed like tv static and it briefly went numb. He didn't even look down at you to see if you were ok, simply walking back to his throne that took the form of some old victorian style chair sat behind his desk. You knew exactly what was going to come next, a lecture of some kind or if you were really unlucky you'd end up being strung up from the chandelier.

He pressed his gloved hands to his temples, briefly managing them before clasping his hands on the desk. Even though you were taller than him with your current positions, you standing and him sitting, it still felt like Lucifer was looking down at you. "I understand that you're a child, and as such I've tried to be more lenient with you then I am with my brothers. I decided to not severely punish you for your behavior because I thought you were just acting out and needed an adjustment period but now, it's time to start acting your age Mc. You can't keep throwing tantrums or saying harmful things to Lilith simply because you dislike not having everyones attention on you at all times." You knew exactly where this was going, you were going to spend the next 3 hours listening to Lucifer put you down while praising Lilith for doing nothing more than breathing. But even then, you hadn't done anything to Lilith as of late, so you had no idea where this lecture was coming from.

"Lucifer what- I haven't done any-"

He immediately cut you off. Raising a flat palmed hand up at you. "Mc I am not in the mood to hear your excuses." You bit the inside of your cheek holding in the sigh that you wanted to let out. As Lucifer continued on his lecture you grew more and more frustrated. Everything you had done to Lilith amounted to nothing more than being alive when and where she was.

Lilith tripped and you didn't help her up? Blasphemy

Lilith ate something she couldn't and you were in the same room? A crime against humanity

Lilith asked you for help with lifting something that it was more than obvious your undeveloped human arms wouldn't be able to even get a good grip on, and you told her to go ask Beel for help? You must be the real demon in this house.

Lilith didn't take into account that her new body was far more fragile then her previous one and ended up getting a bruise? Diavolo forbid a cut? You obviously had it out for her or else you would've told her what is and isn't safe to do.

Maybe that's why you didn't think ahead, maybe that's why you just said the meanest thing that came to mind. If you're going to get into trouble just for existing around Lilith then you'd give Lucifer a real good reason to be mad at you.

Now it was your turn to cut him off, "Lucifer if I'm being completely honest I really don't care. Like at all." You watched with a sick satisfaction as he did a double take, obviously not expecting that out of you. However, when it did register he gripped the desk in the same way that Belphegor had gripped your neck. You briefly worried for your own safety, wondered if this would be where you die. But then that same line of thought from earlier came back, would Lucifer eventually fall into despair when he realizes what he'd done to you? Would his brothers hate him for it? Lucifer exploded, shouting and ranting about just how big of a mistake it was to bring you here, how had he known that this was your true nature he never would’ve allowed you to come into the Devildom, in fact he never would’ve allowed something like you to defile someone like Lilith’s bloodline.

You wanted to cry. All of the bravery and oomph that you had earlier had long since shriveled up and died. You regretted ever opening up your mouth. You should’ve just sat there silent and listened to what Lucifer had to say. Now you were questioning if he really was right. Maybe if you had been nicer to Lilith, been more welcoming, been more like her instead of a cheap imitation. Maybe then you would’ve been loved. Maybe then you wouldn’t hear Lucifer tearing into insecurities you had confided in him about. You hated having your trust thrown back in your face like that. And… you snapped

“LUCIFER JUST SHUT UP!” The power of the pact flowed through the air uncontained ripping into your bond with him and choking it. His mouth instantly snapped shut. He slammed his fist down on the table starling you. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes dangerously promising to overflow. Before you could turn tail and run away a sob escaped your mouth. You quickly covered your face, desperately kneading at your eyes with your fingertips wishing that you could’ve just walked away with your head held up high. Instead you were breaking down in the office of one of the people who you never wanted to seem weak around. You swiped at you face over and over again trying and failing to calm yourself down. When you felt a hand connect with your shoulder you paused for a few seconds before immediately dashing out of Lucifer’s office and to your room.

You crashed through your door, slamming it shut and locking it. You tripped over nothing and ending up colliding with the edge of your bed. Clawing at the sheets you muffled your sobs into the sheets, biting into them. Because of your tugging the blankets ended up falling off the bed, burying you under them. A frustrated scream clawed it’s way up and out of your throat lingering in the air of your room. You ended up crying yourself to sleep just like that, hiding under the covers wishing that Lucifer would just let everything go for today.

You were in your room, sitting in front of your vanity, head resting on the wooden desk of it. Looking up into one of the mirrors that make up the entirety of the walls of your room you’re met with your reflection. It doesn’t look right, when you open your mouth the inside is just slightly too dark, your features just the tiniest bit more stretched out than usual, light shadows dance under your gaunt cheeks. Then it speaks, “What do you wish for?”

Your head and arms are glued in place, you can’t move, your legs thrash from their place under the vanity, your mouth is almost sewn shut. You shivered the cold hands of your reflection reaching from within the mirror to touch your face. You had never been so uncomfortable with your own reflection.

“I’ll ask you again, what do you wish for?” You pulled away again, this time you flew back, the wooden floor shattering like glass splintering into your back. As you feel further and further your reflection burst into a shadowy mist rushing towards you.

You awoke with a start in the middle of the night at some unholy hour. You couldn’t be bothered to crawl out from your place under the covers to check the time instead opting to just lay there. Your heaving breaths being the only sound within the room. You’re uncomfortably hot underneath your covers but also covered in a cold sweat. Leviathan banged on the wall you two shared shouting something about Ruri-chan and you interrupting his and Lilith’s together time. You contemplated yelling back before remembering earlier that night. Maybe you could be nicer, maybe you could be better. If that happened maybe they would live you again, maybe you could go back to being their younger sibling. Maybe then…

Your first mistake was ever thinking things could go back to the way they were before.

The entirety of the credit for this idea goes to @victoirey specifically this post. Be sure to check out their blog and show them some love.

#angst #fanfic #writing #obey me #obey me main character #obey me shall we date #obey me teen mc #obey me replaced mc au #replaced mc au #obey me brothers #i hate tagging #gender neutral mc #ik its not the best rn but I promise this chapter was just to flesh out mc's current situation

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