#but i also think it's a good conversation to be had because so much of everyone's understanding of alcohol addiction

[gffa]

When it comes to Jedi discourse I think a lot depends on the amount of sympathy behind a statement there is. For example, "The Jedi have been corrupted by this war." is something Lucas has said, but it's in the context of how they were drawn into a trap, they were forced into roles that they were never meant to be, there's sympathy there for how the only choices here are shitty ones. "Do they compromise their morals (to fight in this war) or does everyone die and it's pointless anyway?" is basically what he said. I agree with that! But I have seen many people say, "The Jedi became corrupted by the war." and they mean it as the Jedi no longer cared about people, only themselves, they were only looking out for themselves, they were making selfish choices. There's no sympathy for the rock-and-a-hard-place situation the Jedi were in, and I disagree with that and I think that's what a lot of people are arguing back against. "They allied themselves with a corrupt government!" is another one--like, yeah, the Republic government wasn't great! But, when I say that the Separatists were worse, it's not because I'm refusing to admit the Republic had any fault, I'm saying it because that's basically the choice laid out in front of them--either you help the Republic or you let the Separatists take over, who were committing war crimes on screen. I do think the Jedi were hamstrung by their connection to the Republic! I just also think the alternative was worse, that the whole structure of Star Wars as a story was designed to hem them into this impossible choice (in as much as Star Wars is about the Jedi, when they're very much not the core of the story), that they couldn't find better options because the story wasn't set up to allow that. Could the Jedi have handled Anakin better? Ehhh, I think that's hard to say because the story itself doesn't present that, so making hard proclamations about what they did/didn't do wrong is reading into something the story didn't address. The story is about Anakin refusing to emotionally accept Jedi teachings--can we read beyond that and say there were ways the Jedi failed him? I think you can and some of them are fair (and some of them aren't), that it's a fun conversation to have, but that it's not what the narrative intention is, if we're talking about actual narrative intention. The narrative intention is that Anakin, though very human in his failings and Lucas clearly has so much affection for his Blorbo, failed to learn what he needed to learn. But there, too, I think a lot depends so much on how much sympathy comes across for the choices being made. I don't think we're meant to see Anakin as someone we can't relate to, Lucas even says that Anakin is a victim in TPM (of the Hutts and Watto, to be clear), I don't think criticism of Anakin can come without that he was trying, that he did genuinely love people. The ending of ROTJ doesn't work without us wanting for Anakin to find the good in himself! That we knew had to be there all along. So much comes down to how much sympathy there is in the criticism, how much sympathy there is for the reasons why any given character chooses the paths they do, and that's where a lot of disconnect comes from. So much Jedi criticism is done in the vein of saying, "They failed." and meaning it as an accusation of how a better choice was super obvious. But if you say, "They failed." in the sense that there was no way out of the trap that they could have possibly forseen, given the circumstances, that they did their best and they shouldn't have to be perfect to be good, then I'm all the way onboard! It's about how much sympathy there is for the context around a given character's choices and what the story allowed for them. I have no issue with saying the Jedi failed in the war, that they became corrupted by it, that their connection to the Republic led to their genocide, because I don't think the Jedi were bad for it, I think they made the best choices they could in the worst situation.

[relicsongmel]

Iris, Miles, and their mutual "secret"

The Ace Attorney fandom is no stranger to discussions of homoerotic subtext in the game's script—pretty much everyone who's spent more than five seconds here will be able to tell you that. Screenshots of lines that imply romantic tension between same-gender characters are all over the place, to the point that many fans are drawn to the series purely by its reputation as "the gay lawyer game." Some scenes are more well-known than others, but one I find brought up fairly regularly is this conversation between Miles and Iris:

This is optional dialogue that can be triggered by presenting incorrect evidence on Iris' Psyche-Lock during the Investigation portion of Bridge to the Turnabout. The argument here is that the "secret" Iris is referring to is the same as her own: that being, a romantic interest in Phoenix Wright. Which is definitely hilarious when you consider that Iris has known Miles for less than a day and she's already reading him for filth (granted, she could have been clued in by the similarly infamous "indispensable friend" line, and she's also exceptionally good at reading people despite Miles thinking otherwise). As a Narumitsu shipper myself I am not immune to enjoying that interpretation; however, I feel like there's a lot of nuance in this scene that isn't often addressed by the fandom at large. Which is unfortunate because watering it down to just Iris calling out Miles for being the gayass he is (to be fair. she's not wrong) does a MASSIVE disservice to both of their characters, and I'll explain why.

My bone to pick with the usual analysis of this scene is mostly centered around the larger conversation to be had regarding the treatment of female characters in fandom spaces. All too often they tend to play second fiddle to the male characters, and a similar principle holds true for ships with their canonical male love interests: mostly ignored in favor of the the more popular M/M ship(s). At best these women are sidelined, at worse they are flattened into wingmen for the boys (as is frequently the case with many AA girls and Narumitsu, Iris included), and at the absolute worst they are demonized for their perceived "competition" with whatever gay ship is most popular and therefore the Only Valid One for the male characters involved (as exemplified by some very "passionate" fans that I generally try to avoid interacting with). Whenever this scene gets brought up, the focus is almost always exclusively on Miles and what the interaction says about his relationship with Phoenix; Iris is only relevant insofar as she's the one initiating Miles' Homosexual Moment™—you could replace her with almost any other character and there'd be a similar level of neglect for their role in the interaction. Only very rarely will you see attention given to what Iris' question about Miles' secret means when she is the one asking it, and what it can tell us about her relationship with Miles/what she thinks of him, and vice versa (absolutely wild how even Miles himself is often flanderized despite being the fandom's golden child). It's all too characteristic of the systemic misogyny that has plagued fandom since its inception, which is deeply frustrating to me as someone who adores Iris as much as I do (if that wasn't obvious by now). So that said, let's dive deeper into what I think the missing link is here: namely, the Iris-Miles dynamic as it pertains to their relation to Phoenix.

Iris and Miles is one of my favorite relationships to explore in the whole series—but as I've described above, unfortunately a lot of people get it wrong in my opinion. Discussion about the two is frequently centered around Narumitsu Love Drama—which is a conversation worth having, don't get me wrong—but the elements at play there aren't always represented the way I envision them, which again, is frustrating. Take the idea of potential jealousy, for instance: it's pretty standard love triangle fare that can be (and often is) quickly turned into demonization when it's used in a shipping context, character assassination be damned (re: Narumitsu fanfic authors that project their personal dislike of Feenris onto Miles via his jealousy of Iris and/or how they tend to portray Iris unfavorably). However, it's not inherently a bad thing to explore: personally, I do believe that there is mutual jealousy between the two of them. Miles might not have the full context of Iris' history when this conversation takes place, but he's emotionally intelligent enough to pick up on what Iris means to Phoenix, and vice versa. And him being a jealous hoe about it isn't out of the question when you consider that he's a bit of a loner by nature and doesn't have many close friends or outlets for socialization outside of his job. The crucial element that's sometimes missed, though, is that Miles not only lacks the self-awareness to realize he's a jealous hoe...he's also a self-sabotaging jealous hoe.

And the same can be said for Iris, who is similarly introverted and doesn't often leave her home at Hazakura Temple.

The whole reason Miles is peering into Iris' heart in the first place can be found in this exchange, after he breaks her Psyche-Lock:

Miles uses the Magatama in order to gain the answers he needs to bring the truth to light and get Iris acquitted, and he does so for the express purpose of reuniting her with Phoenix so they can find closure—in fact, he reiterates this to her multiple times. He obviously recognizes how Phoenix is suffering from what happened between them (I'd argue he sympathizes with Iris' plight as well) and has resolved to do what he can to help him heal, but there's no reason for him to be so insistent that she rectify things with Phoenix when it does nothing but harm his own chances with him. Unless, of course...that's the whole point.

To convince Iris to reveal her secret so he doesn't have to face his own, because he thinks himself undeserving.

And Iris, noticing this because she empathizes with that feeling of unworthiness, calls him out on it in an almost uncharacteristically forward manner when she asks him what he's hiding.

Takes one to know one, indeed.

Iris highly respects Miles for taking on her defense despite the risk to his job as a prosecutor. She's willing to trust him after hearing he's a friend of Phoenix, hearing him out and letting him reason with her. She still keeps her cards close to her chest in some regards, but she's more honest with him than she's been with anyone else in her life apart from her sister. She sees his commitment to the truth and how it starkly contrasts with how she's lived her life to this point, and thinks that this is the type of partner Phoenix deserves—not someone like her, who only knows how to survive using lies and deception. She sees so much strength in him but still recognizes the insecurity lurking beneath his tenacity, which is why when he falters in his logic, she takes a leap of faith and gives him one last chance to examine his reasons for pushing the burden of his unspoken affections onto her, as if to say: "Look in the mirror. Is this really for me? Or is it for you? Do you really seek the truth for its own sake, or do you merely hope to find one truth so you might run from another?"

Her question to Miles is a gamble—a coin flip of self-sacrifice. If she loses and he presses on, she has to face the secret within her heart she's been suppressing for five years. But if she wins and he gives in to the truth in his, she has to live the rest of her life watching it unfold and knowing she threw away her chance to finally stop living in fear of her own love.

Either way, there's no escaping heartache for her anymore.

Miles and Iris both want what's best for Phoenix and prioritize their vision of his feelings over their own. However, they are also both deeply emotionally repressed people who find difficulty in being direct with their feelings, and are predisposed to self-sabotage due to childhood trauma. These tendencies may manifest in different ways for both of them, but the fact remains that such people would likely not compete for a person's affection in the traditional sense, which is exactly what we see with how Iris and Miles deflect their feelings for Phoenix. These selfless, lovestruck idiots toss that man around like a game of hot-potato because their mutual self-hatred for the ways they've harmed him has rendered them terrified of the reality of what he means to them, and desperate to find a way out of admitting to it. It's the most compelling explanation I can think of for why the usually unassuming Iris makes such a bold judgment about what Miles might be keeping locked away, and why Miles goes to such lengths to make sure she talks to Phoenix and tells him the truth—his agreement to defend her was conditional on that exact promise. They go through this whole song-and-dance of playing wingman to ignore their own feelings while still trying to bring Phoenix the happiness they think he deserves—and then they wonder why seeing Phoenix give the other one attention burns them up inside.

Because they’re dumb. And I love them.

TL;DR the Iris Psyche-Lock scene in BttT is so much more than just "haha Miles gay" and I wish people talked about it more. Also Iris and Miles are way more similar than they appear at first glance and if I think about it for too long it makes me physically ill thank you for coming to my TED talk

[rosenclaws]

Could I pleasssse request a smut/fluff fic with Logan where he secretly likes the reader and doesn't like the readers bf? The reader is in their early to mid twenties and has been best friends with Logan for years and he snaps one night when her bf is being an asshole 👀 thank you so much 😭

warnings: Angst to fluff, asshole boyfriend, he's mutant hating low key, threats, fighting

a/n: Hehehe i fucking LOVE a good jealousy fic, also I based the asshole ex on multiple asshole exes of my own lol.

Things were well and truly complicated. You always knew what being a mutant meant for your relationship life. Having to dip your toes into the water to see if they the kind of person who wanted your kind dead or if they were more open to the idea of mutants.

Even then you ran into all kinds of assholes. If you could even get past the first date then you'd have to drop the bomb that you work at a mutant school with mutant children. Safe to say your dating life was pretty empty.

"You here again sweetheart?" You roll your eyes when you hear Logan's voice. It's Friday night and you're sitting in the living room of the mansion with a root beer.

“Yeah, so are you.” You bite back. He just chuckles and takes a seat next to you. Spreading his legs until his knee knocks into yours.

“Weren’t you supposed to go out with that kid, what was his name Jacob or…”

“Jason. Yeah he canceled when he saw the pick up address.” You remember the absolute terrified voice he spoke to you in, afraid you were going to melt his bones through the phone or something.

“You really know how to pick em.” You shove Logans shoulder as he laughs.

“Fuck off, I don’t see you getting any action lately either.”

“That’s because I’m not interested in dating some stranger.” He grumbles.

Truth is Logan hasn't been interested in anyone except for you for a while now. Its been years and as pathetic as it sounds Logan was too afraid to say anything. But there's no reason to mess up a good thing right? Plus it's not like you've been showing any interest in him.

“Look, any guy would be lucky to have you sweetheart, you just need to find the right one."

"Feels like I've been searching forever. Feels like I should make a marriage pact or something." You say with a groan.

"A marriage pact?" "Logan questions.

"Yeah you know, if we haven't found someone by the time we're forty we just, get married."

"We?" Your eyes widen and you start to flounder. The last thing you want is for Logan to think you're a creep or something. It's not like you fantasize about Logan or anything. Totally not.

"Not you, I mean if you wanted to then sure but I was just talking hypothetically you know. I mean god could you imagine you and I?" The words tumble out of your mouth with no filter. You just can't stop yourself. Logan cocks and eyebrow and you pray for something, anything to happen to help you shut up.

"Yeah...hard to picture you and I" Logan's face hardens as he talks.

Like he thought before, you don't want him. You could just burst into flames right here and now. The tension is palpable. Logan has been your friend for a long time but he never fails to make you a little nervous. He shouldn't have this hold over you but god he's just so big and intimidating.

"You know what? We should go out." You say abruptly.

"What? Hey give that back!" You grab the beer out of his hand and he looks at you confused.

"It'll be fun please, I'll buy the first round." You offer and he thinks for a second.

"Fine."

You don't really know what drove you to want to come here. It was loud and crowded and you and Logan had gotten separated after the first drink. Maybe you just wanted to avoid the odd feelings you get whenever you're alone with him. Plus that last conversation was awkward as hell.

You sigh as you swirl your drink around. You spot Logan across the room. He's leaning against the wall while a very pretty red head is all in his space. Your heart clenches as you notice the cocky smile on his face and how he's not pushing her away. Guess someone is getting lucky tonight and it isn't you.

"Hey, couldn't help but notice a beautiful girl all by herself." You look to your side to see a guy slide into the seat next to you. He seems nice enough. He's cute and all.

"Oh I'm here with a friend." You say looking back at Logan.

"Yeah, he seems busy to me. The name's Carter. Let me buy you a drink, no strings attached I swear." He offers. You take one last look at Logan, that woman's hand snaking up his arm. Fuck it.

"Alright deal."

Things since that night have been, a little off. You went home with Carter after Logan had disappeared. Carter was nice enough, at least he was at first. He treated you nice, bought you flowers. He didn't care you were a mutant or that you worked at a mutant school. He was the perfect gentleman. For the first couple months.

It happened so slowly you didn't even notice at first. You spent less time at the mansion, instead now spending it with him. The kids started to miss you and so did your friends but you were happy and they were happy you were happy.

You rarely saw Logan anymore. Ever since you came home from the bar he had been avoiding you, or something. Carter would come by the mansion but his nice guy persona seemed to fade the more he spent with everyone. It didn't help that one of your students accidently lit him on fire once. That's when the fights started.

He didn't trust the kids there, said they were dangerous. He would tell you that he liked mutants but h was worried for your safety. And he really didn't like Logan. The first time the two of them met it ended in a fight on the car ride back to his place. Logan was a strong personality and the two men clashed.

Soon every time your job got brought up it ended in a fight. He'd talk bad about your students, about your friends, about Logan. Carter wanted to keep you away from there because he loved you but they were your family.

He loved you, you had to believe it was all because he loved you. I mean you had spent so long looking for a man who didn't care about your job or your mutant abilities and Carter was that guy. At least you thought he was. You won't find anyone better. Carter liked to say that. It's hard to come by someone who's okay with what you are. So you just had to believe he did it all because he loved you.

"Do we really have to go to this stupid thing? Can't we just stay in..." Carters hand snakes up your leg but you bat his hand away making him huff.

A pissed off look on his face as you drive to the mansion. It was a simple staff party but it had been too long since you got to relax with all your friends. Carter had insisted on coming along but right now you wish he had just stayed home, especially if he was going to complain the whole time.

"This is really important to me. We don't have to stay long I promise." You say in a cheerful tone but Carter just rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." It was exhausting. To Carter anything he wanted to do was fine but as soon as there was something you wanted to do it was a chore.

"Don't understand why you're so obsessed with being around these...people." He mumbles under his breath. Not this again. You plaster on a fake smile as you pretend you didn't hear him. He loves you for who you are right?

The party was in full swing by the time you get in. You greet your friends, trying to hide your feelings as Carter says something about getting a drink.

"You finally made it." You turn to see Logan standing behind you.

"Logan! Didn't expect to see you here." You tease. Parties were never Logan's thing.

"I heard you might show up, can't miss that now can I?" He opens his arms and you don't hesitate to hug him. You missed this. Your nights used to be filled with movie nights and late night snacking with Logan. It's been so long since you got to do any of that.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Logan clocks the fake smile immediately. He's noticed the ways you've changed. You're deflated, tired. It's all that assholes doing and he knows it.

"Yeah every things fine," Logans hands rest on your arms, he's about to press you a little further but Carter comes back.

"Hey man get your hands off my girlfriend." Carter almost seems to puff out his chest as if he was trying to appear bigger than Logan. Logan rolls his eyes.

"Calm down bub, just saying hi to my friend."

"Well she's my girlfriend."

"Yeah she's also a person not a fucking object." Logan growls and you step to get in between the two of them. The last thing you wanted was a fight right now.

"It was great seeing you again Logan." You smile as Carter wraps his hand around your wrist.

Logan reluctantly lets go of you as you're taken away by your boyfriend. He feels this anger burning inside of him. Every time he sees that bastard touch you he wants to rip off his damn arms. Every time he sees your smile fall or hears your fake laugh.

"Jealous much?" Scott comments, a smirk on his face as Logan turns to glare.

"I ain't jealous." Logan snaps as he stalks away.

Yes he is, he's very jealous. He's jealous that asshole is your boyfriend and not him. He's jealous that he's not the one who gets to hold you at night and call you his girl. But he was too late. So he's got no one to blame but himself.

Carter hadn't left your side since your moment with Logan. Normally you'd be happy about this but he was doing nothing but complain every chance he got.

"Can we just fucking go home already. You saw your little friends."

"It's barely been an hour Carter. All I asked for was this one thing! These people are my family would it kill you to try and act interested." You snap, finally fed up with his attitude. He scoffs and crosses his arm.

"I am trying. It's not my fault your family are freaks! Especially that fucking monster." He says with an extra glare towards Logan. Heads start to turn as he raises his voice.

"They're not freaks and don't call Logan that! He is not a monster!" You hiss. You've had it up to here with Carter. Everything you thought about him was crumbling down. If this is what love was then you'd rather be single.

"Of course you come to his defense. What are you fucking him on the side?" He spits.

Logan looks ready to pounce but he's being held back. If he could he'd maim this guy until he's nothing but blood and bones. He doesn't care what insult this guy spews his way but the second he disrespects you, all bets are off.

"He's my friend that's why I'm defending him. I will not let you talk about anyone of these people like that! You are nothing but a hateful asshole. You can go home and don't wait up because you're done."

You're seething with anger but there's a sense of relief that washes over you. You can feel every ones eyes on you but you don't care. You turn around to walk away but Carter grabs onto your wrist.

"Don't fucking walk away from me!" You wince at how hard he grabs you and that's when Logan snaps. Like an animal he's on Carter in an instant. Claws out and a murderous look on his face.

"Get your fucking hand off her before I slice it off." Whatever arrogance Carter had was gone in an instant. He lets go of your wrist and grabs at Logan's arm but Logan is unmoving.

"Listen here bub, you're going to get your sorry ass out of here and never come back." Logan leans in, just close enough that Carter is the only one who can hear his next words.

"If you even think of contacting her again I'll find you and I'll rip you limb from limb." Carter scrambles out of Logans grip and falls to the ground.

"You're all fucking insane." He yells as he runs out the door.

There's a weight that falls off your shoulders the second he's out of your sight. You let out a sigh as you turn to face everyone. Some of them were looking at you with pity and others were happy he was finally gone.

"I am, so sorry for ruining the party."

"You didn't ruin the party sugar, we're glad he's gone. Now we can really party." Rouge says with a smile, you're grateful for her as this breaks the awkward tension.

Things seem to go back to normal but you slip outside, not really feeling a party mood anymore. You hear the door open and foot steps behind you. A root beer is placed in front of you and you gladly take it. Wordlessly Logan takes the spot next to you. Man you can't remember the last time you got to sit down with Logan.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry." You say. He shrugs and throws an arm around you, pulling you closer.

"Nothing to be sorry for sweetheart, asshole had it coming." He takes a sip of his beer and you sigh, leaning a little closer to him.

"How could I be so stupid, things went south way before tonight. I just...didn't want to see it."

"Hey, you're not stupid. You were in love." Love makes you do a lot of things. Turn a blind eye or in Logan's case. Pretend like the feelings aren't even there.

"No I wasn't. Not really. I think...I was so afraid of never finding someone that I latched onto the first guy to give me an ounce of attention." You groan. What's so wrong with wanting to be loved huh? Nothing. But you deserve a guy who isn't a complete asshole.

"There will be other guys, anyone would be lucky. to have you"

"Yeah? Like who?" You say with a snort.

"Like me." Logan says simply. Your eyes widen as you taken in what he just said.

"What?" You ask in disbelief.

Logan shifts where he sits. Fuck this isn't how he imagined telling you, in fact he thought he never would. But Carter made him so angry and he'd be dammed if he let another dick come and take you away again.

"Like me, I want to be the lucky bastard."

"I...Logan how long have you felt this way." You ask, a hand coming to rest on his chest.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Yes it does, please. I need to know how much of an idiot I've been." You beg and Logan frowns, he doesn't like it when you call yourself an idiot.

"Years sweetheart, I've been in love with you for years." He confesses.

All this time. He's been there. As your friend, as something more. Too wrapped up in his own shit to say something at first and then by the time he worked out some of it, it was too late. He hates to admit it but that asshole did one thing right, it pushed him to stop hiding how he really feels about you.

"Logan..." You whisper as your lean in close to him.

His hand snakes around your waist and pulls you closer. Your lips ghost each other for just a moment, before he leans closer and kisses you. Your lips move together slowly. Logan groans against your lips as he pulls you even closer, if anyone were to look outside they'd see you practically crawling onto his lap.

His other hand cups your cheek, keeping you right there for him to kiss over and over. A part of you is kicking yourself for not saying anything to Logan sooner. So much pain and annoyance could have been avoided had one of you just confessed, but the other part of you is too happy to care. Too happy knowing that he felt the same way and that he was finally yours.

"I wish we had done this sooner."

"Me too sweetheart, but you have me now." He says as he kisses you again. A thought lingers in your mind and you pull away from Logan much to his dismay.

"Fuck, I need to get my shit from Carters place." You say with a groan.

"Don't say his name ever again," Logan grumbles and you laugh.

"I'll take care of everything so you never even have to think of that asshole." Logan buries his face in your neck, kissing every bit of skin he can reach.

"Now, lets ditch this party and make up for some lost time." Logan purrs.

God there's so much time to catch up on, you mourn what could have been but Logan taps your cheek. Snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

"You alright sweetheart?" You nod, shaking your head free of those thoughts. That's all in the past now, it took a while but you found your way to Logan and that's all that matters.

"I've never been better. Now, take me home."

[maladaptivewriting]

since the tiktok ban, i've been seeing a lot of stuff where people blame americans for jegulus and i can't stop thinking about it. i don't know why people feel this way, but i am prepared to make an argument. so please allow me to make my case.

[also this is completely based on generalizations. i know americans that hate jegulus and love jily, and i know british people who hate jily and love jegulus]

so i've never been a jily girl. even years before i found jegulus, i never cared about that ship. i straight up didn't even know that people wrote fics about them specifically. (i actually still don't know if people do write fics about only them because i would never seek out something like that).

originally, i'd thought it was just because i only cared about the golden trio characters and occasionally sirius and remus, but the more i got into the marauders era, the more i realized that james and lily together were the standouts, i just really didn't care for them.

it got to the point where i only read fics that referenced jily if they were extremely background to the story (which they almost always were bc there is just not that much to say about them) or preferably if both of them were already dead and it was just remus, sirius, and harry who remained.

shortly after i really started getting into the fandom and writing for jegulus, i spoke to someone who hated jegulus and loved jily, and i told them that i'd always felt like james and lily were on the road to divorce before they died. this person was SCANDALIZED. they could not understand why'd said that.

now granted, this person was in their early twenties and in my experience, if you haven't lived long enough to see a lot of your friends go through divorces, then the idea that james and lily might divorce may seem crazy.

however, and this is where the american thing really comes in, i realized after this conversation why i felt that there was no way that james and lily were going to make it and that was specifically because of growing up a conservative christian bible belt ass place.

do you know how many couples i knew in high school who started dating their senior year even though they seemingly had nothing in common, had sex one time and didn't use protection because sex education is extremely limited down there, got pregnant, and had to have shotgun wedding?

so. fucking. many.

do you know how many of them are still married?

only one.

so when i see jily, two characters who have nothing in common beyond being gryffindors, get together, have a kid, and get married (not necessarily in that order) all within like two years, i know that the odds are not in their favor. those two aren't staying together. don't play with me.

now i don't know how people feel about young marriages in other parts of the world, especially in the uk, but i've spoken to a lot of americans, especially ones from the south, and so many of them have had the exact same experiences with their peers. i just can't help but wonder if that lends itself to less people being interested in jily.

i have other arguments to this, like that jily is not as entertaining as almost every other ship that james or lily could be involved in and americans being partial to entertainment above all else, or the american (and christian) obsession with the concept of redemption and self sacrifice making regulus a more compelling character than one that lived and died good (lily and james), but this was the one i wanted to focus on today.

[dutchs-paisley-vest]

Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.

Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)

The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].

Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”

Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.

Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.

The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the ��perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.

The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.

[charmac]

Danny did a little interview for AARP Magazine in December. I haven't seen it copied anywhere past the paywall and I enjoyed reading it, so wanted to repost here

(Article is pasted as text below the cut)

Noisemaker I was born in Asbury Park, New Jersey. I was the baby, my sister Theresa was 10 years older, my sister Angie was 16 years older, my mom had two sisters, and none of them shut up, ever. It’s an Italian family, so the decibel level is out there. A little smart aleck I went to Our Lady of Mount Carmel School, because if your mother and father didn’t know what to do with you, they gave you to the nuns. … and still a smart aleck I remember when Peter, my nephew, was born. I was 7 years old, and I went over and looked into the bassinet, and the first thing he did was pee on me. It was great! I don’t think there’s a conversation I’ve had with the guy over all these years where I don’t bring up the fact that he peed on me. Also an old softie Do anything you can to keep on an even keel with your family and friends, no matter what happens in your life. That’s all we have. Don’t hide things. You’ve got to get up every day thinking about how you’re going to make it easier for the people that you’re working with or that you love or that you eat breakfast with. Because it’s infectious; everybody starts feeling good. Falling into the business Growing up, I’d spend the weekends at the movies, but I actually wasn’t even thinking about doing it. I got introduced to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in a roundabout way, took a couple classes, and I got the bug. And I thought, I’m not like Cary Grant, but I got a feel for this thing. So I studied, and then I went and started looking for jobs in New York, like every other actor does. I didn’t care what the description was—“male, 6 foot 4, 250 pounds”—I’d go out for the audition. Once I got in the room, I’m going to do what I’m going to do. Becoming Louie I wanted that part, Louie DePalma [in Taxi]. I walked into the room to audition in front of the four guys who created it, and I said, “One thing I want to know before we start. Who wrote this shit?” And I threw the script on the table. And I had a nanosecond of, did I screw everything up? Then they fell on the floor. Louie walked into their lives. Sudden fame I went to the market the day after the first episode aired, and people are stopping me on the street: “Hey, Louie!” They weren’t calling me Danny. After a couple of days of this, I called my publicist, and said, “This is really crazy. People are chasing me down the street.” He says, “Danny, you don’t have to worry until that stops happening.” Now it’s all, “Frank, Frank, Frank!” because of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is good. The fans are all you have. Still evolving I think I’m bolder than I’ve ever been—I don’t monitor myself as much. I do say things that are, like, pretty far out, that are really weird, and sometimes I’m inappropriate. But I am always respectful, and that’s because of my two sisters, I swear to God. You have to respect other people’s space.

My happy place Since my two grandbabies have been born, I am just in- corrigible. You gotta tamp me down in the joy department, you know what I’m saying? I’m just so lucky. Blessings have been showered down on me. I wish that for everybody.And the thing is to be aware of it. Don’t let it go. Rhea [Perlman, DeVito’s wife, from whom he is separated but with whom he still spends a lot of time] and I were always able to see those little, incremental changes when our kids were growing up. And I tell my kids that, with their babies: Don’t miss a thing, don’t look away. A sudden case of holidays I’m in the movie A Sudden Case of Christmas with my daughter Lucy, who plays my daughter. It’s just a real warm, wonderful movie, and I loved doing it. As far as the actual holidays go, we have family dinners. Basically we’re Italian, so you know, anybody who’s around, we grab. We get to celebrate all the holidays, because Rhea’s parents were Jewish, so we did all the Jewish holidays, and we do all the Catholic holidays or Italian holidays. My mantra It’s always a good thing to be positive about life, and always get out of bed thinking today’s the day you’re really going to kick its ass. That’s the way to do it

[kazuhahalol]

▹ Jeff the Killer Headcanons

Basic NSFW & SFW headcanons of my favorite creep! I’m so sorry I’ve been out for so long, I’ll try to post more!

Warnings: kidnapping, murder, nsfw content

Disclaimer: Everyone is welcome on my page and I will not turn you away. However, it is your fault if you’re uncomfortable or peeved with my writing because I give multiple warnings prior to my content. thanks!

Appearance

⇀ I will not lie and say I grew up seeing Jeff as an accurate representation of what a burn victim would look like. I grew up with the skinny anime looking boy that most of us know as “Jeff the Killer”. Here are a few ways that I see Jeff different than how I used to see him when I was younger.

⇀ I honestly see him standing at around 5’7-5’9. I don’t expect him to be super tall like LJ, but not super short like BEN.

⇀ His skin is less of a white pigment and more pink since his skin has been burnt off and exposed. His skin has healed over time, making it look more like shitty patchwork over what a good recovery should look like.

⇀ I doubt he’d have hair but for the sake of fan service, if he did, it would probably be greasy. If he’s not living at the Wisconsin Sanctum for Wayward Boys (slendermansion) he’s not able to shower so he’d look dirty. No shower = no washing hair = greasy hair, scalp buildup and hair loss. In reality, Jeff would looked chopped AF.

⇀ His style hasn’t changed much from when he was 13. White hoodie and his black dress pants. He wears what’s practical and what he can get his hands on. If he did take the time to actually find clothing he approves of, I’d see him mostly being into something edgy.

⇀ Would have piercings but it would hurt like a bitch because his skin and tissues didn’t heal normally. He doesn’t mind because he likes the pain.

⇀ His glasgow smile heals overtime and he doesn’t mind it, but will occasionally carve it back open if he feels like it since it’s his signature look.

Personality

⇀ Edgelord.

⇀ People may say this is overdone, but I also see him as an arrogant asshole. There’s just something about him that screams, “I have a big ego and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem”.

⇀ Gets really pissed off when you call him his government or first name, “Jeffrey”, “Jeffrey Alan Woods”. He would tell you to shut the fuck up and to never say it again.

⇀ His sense of humor is twisted AF. He could be chatting with you and he’s suddenly bringing up how he tortured this poor school girl he kidnapped a few days ago and how much she was screaming, then laughs about it obnoxiously. The topic of the conversation was strawberries.

⇀ Doesn’t matter if it’s a person, place, or thing, Jeff is going to be obsessed with it if it catches his attention because he can’t like something like a normal person. One night he had ran into a girl that had managed to escape him, so he decided to stalk her to entertain himself, and now she’s all you hear about. “I can’t wait to sink my blade into her throat”, “I can’t wait to kill that fucking bitch. She kicked me in the balls”.

⇀ Has street smarts but is really dumb academically because he went crazy during 7th grade. He also mainly works off of impulse and never thinks before he speaks. All bite and bark.

⇀ Has a big ego. He’s obsessed with his own appearance and it’s hard for him to find anyone he deems attractive because his ideal type is basically himself.

⇀ Being completely serious, his type would be someone feisty and strong. Someone who can put up with his shit. He doesn’t like timid people or pushovers. He likes it even more if they can come up with run-on insults on the fly. He might save one of those for later.

⇀ Thick thighs, boobs > ass

Relationships

⇀ He’s toxic as hell and don’t even think for a second he’s not.

⇀ Gaslighter and manipulator.

⇀ Would never outright say that he “loves you”. His love language is acts of service, so he’d do small things for you like pick up something from one of his kills that reminded him of you and leave it at your door. He’d never willingly show the affection he has for you.

⇀ While we’re on that topic, he can be quite…different when it comes to romantic gestures. Gift giving was one thing, but he might even go the extra mile by carving your name into his own skin or random objects.

⇀ If you’re one of the creeps, he’d most likely loathe you at first but become attracted to your power. If you’re a normal person, he might’ve found interest for you while he was out on one of his kills and stalked you enough to feel something for you.

⇀ He is extremely obsessive and protective, often “marking you” so none of the other creeps lay a hand on you if you’re also a proxy living in the mansion. If you’re a normal person, he’s often stalking you. If he witnesses you getting bullied or harassed, the attacker ends up dead later that night.

⇀ Gets very jealous very easily. Be careful with him because it can get really ugly.

⇀ Platonic or romantic, everyone has to be careful around him. Jeff can go from being chill to being hotheaded in only a few seconds. Arguments often happen because of his low patience, leading to wavering trust and security in the relationship.

NSFW Beyond this point

⇀ Doesn’t usually call you pet names, but when he does it’s usually “Babe”, “Doll”, “Sweet Cheeks”, “My Girl”, “My Bitch”. (Girls, if your man is calling you “his bitch”, leave him immediately!!!)

⇀ Very rough in bed. He doesn’t hold back when it comes to marking you, leaving any spot untouched bruised and covered with hickeys.

⇀ His kinks are rather…questionable. You guessed he’d be into bondage, choking, and role play, but you weren’t expecting him to hold a gun or knife to your head or throat mid blowjob. He thrives on seeing your scared and confused expression while you suck him off.

⇀ Doesn’t care for aftercare. He cleans you up with a towel then slumps for the rest of the night. He could blow your back out, have you screaming all night then leave you shivering on the side of the bed with no blanket, snoring obnoxiously.

⇀ Before he met you, he would usually find one lucky girl whenever he’s in the mood to fuck. He wouldn’t force her, obviously. He’s a killer, not a monster. He would then leave without another trace, not caring enough to go back to her. It depends whether or not he’s in a good mood if he’ll kill her right after or spare her. He’s probably gotten someone pregnant and is unknowingly a deadbeat dad.

⇀ Six inches is all I’m going to say.

[haveihitanerve]

This brilliant little backstage scene deserves to be shared with the world and because i am who i am i also have to add my thoughts- once again, ignore them and just watch the vid if you so please :)

Tim casually sprinting away, what a delightful man :) 

The way they have like… feet on either side of the stage, lots of space, but Tom and Sam are sitting right next to each other, absolutely not even an inch between them, legs and arms touching, talking about best first dates??? My heart😭

“Mainly… balance.” Both Tom and Sam’s shoulders moving in the same way when they laugh- 

The way Tom is looking at Sam while listening-

“That would be amazing!” “that sounds awful.” the dichotomy lmaooo

“One of us? There's four of us?” Sam i love you so much- he automatically thinks of the other two not present they are like so close i'm gonna cry-

“I always think of the collective.” 😭💗💗

“How do you not understand how basic conversation works?” ribbing each other, the way true friends do, beautiful

Sam: *makes unidentifiable noises back to mock him*

“Tom!” The way Tom’s head snaps over to look at AJ, and Sam peters out to look over too. So responsive 😭

“I'm so glad we’re committing to that.” Tom i love you-

AJ just being the Tech King while Sam casually helps. Idk its domestic and cute ok leave me alone..

Tom’s “oooooh.” as AJ changes the lights- while casually not helping and being on his phone as Sam and AJ figure out the lights (jk hes probably doing admin stuff but its funny)

Joe: *slams into a chair* ow. Sam: *snickers* its a bit dark in the room AJ: *scoff laughs back*

The way they debrief is just amazing idk why but its so cute to see, they're supportive but still critical, but like constructively critical, and still supportive of each other. Plus the metaphors are great, and the laughing at each other

“Each of their… utterances.” The way AJ is smiling at Tom i cant-

“JAMES was a good man before we lost him.” “killed him.” XD

Gotta be honest maybe they were just showing the best clip, but the A-Z game is pretty fucking good. I think its the audience’s fault tbh, they're not hype enough

The explanation of how games come to be and how they figure it out is sooo good, im always nerdy and want to learn the thoughts/plans/processes behind it all so thank you!!!

“He says softly. Lets go get you onto a mechanical bull.” Sam contemplating what on earth to do with that. “NI HAO!” aaaand there comes AJ out of left field, perfect. Sam now utterly baffled, glorious

“That was joyous! That was good!” Sam coming in saying it was good when AJ and Tom were just complaining- but the way he immediately catches that they didn't feel exactly as confident about it as he did and going “no?” to just check and make sure, looking between both and not just one- brb crying they're such good friends he picks up on that-

Aj’s look at the camera lol “👀do you see this man?”

“Did that go alright?” the immediate reassurance they gave him-

“It feels like you have to start fucking-” “rowing.” finishing each others sentences and a good metaphor- i'm fine

AJ and Sam arguing as DaVinci and Michelangelo gives me life-

“It turns out i just made up a word.” idk who cameraman joe is, but i love him. Real

“Thats the straight white guy philosophy. Say it with confidence and keep walking.” I love how they address it and yet can joke about it, really refreshing 💗

“Stay safe, stay sexy.” thank you Sam, thats my life moto from now on

“And AJ anything from you?”... “I had a really fun time!” Yay!!!

“I’m pissed off. My clues.. were fucking genius. And the audience.. didn't get ‘em” Yes Aj, you tell ‘em!

“And the guys.. *voice crack/half sob* didn't even bother to try and like- *near tears* fucking- make a thing like-” *laughs* oh AJ, poor baby XD

“They just looked at me and then went: “i have a different clue!” Great!” sadness AJ, its ok, they still love you lol

Tom and Sam both in the same position watching AJ’s “genius clues” -Sam’s face of utter confusion and Tom just watching in interest trying to understand it at all

“You know, I also have a clue-” AJ’s slight smile. “I’m very glad because I have no idea what the fuck that was-” AJ having to laugh slightly at that

“Fucking shit im out of here!” *tries to do the cool storm out, but is also checking to see if he left anything behind, kinda ruining it XD*

“I have to know about the Nazi chinchilla-” firstly its wonderful explanation??? I guess, kinda makes sense- but let me just point out to you lovely people that Aj, in the background, downs his beer, steps up right behind Sam, and then takes his beer and also drinks his, and Sam just watches and nods- they’re too fucking cute what the heck-

Also AJ’s face mocking Sam in the background as he starts to explain- idk what prompted it, but it was hilarious

“What was the rant about?” “My clues were fucking great-” Sam: *starts cackling like ‘sure buddy, sure’*

“I got that one! I said that!” defending that he understands his friend- 😭

“I got it. I appreciated that one.” Calms AJ down slightly, so cute

Sam: *slips in advertisement as AJ casually blames the audience*

Aj and Sam’s hug at the end😭 cuties

Anyway thats it :) they're cute and yeah. 

also! where was luke??????

[b1asho]

Erm, oc comic? Just click on the images idk how to change the image position formatting here yet :(

This is what I've been doing all this time, I need to practice putting these things together. I like some things and had fun, but it also looks kind of yucky.

Oh well

Featured here are Rinshi, a muttreazik, and their boss/sister Maro, a Sundyne who's been (violently) ousted from her extremely politically important clan (for terrorism and attempted assassination :D )

The two are hiding from authorities in the SEZ, and not having a great time in general.

Here's a buncha other info, aka i want to talk about my wretched ocs :

-Rinshi is a mancer, meaning they're a muttreazik with a degree of control over matter around them (think telekinesis). Their blue eyes aren't the result of my choice of coloring, thats the color they are all the time (a highly highly unusual color for muttreazik, even in the 'other' color category).

Rinshi is also a 'they' in the same way you'd call an animal an 'it' rather than a 'he' or 'she' if that makes sense. They don't think of themself as nonbibary in the human sense, instead it's more of an "outside of the binary and therefore a nonperson" way that Cerest use for xenos. It's the only option that's not male/female/he/she that they're aware of in this point in their life

Maro is a she (and VERY upset that it means she can't ascend to God emperor)

Rinshi is hunting with a nail that they’re controlling with their mind because that’s a lot easier than chasing down the alien rats yourself.

Normally this would be very easy for them but they’re kind of going through it right now, thus the major space-out and eye-bleed at the end (which normally happens to mancers who either overextend themselves or try to do stuff without any energy support from the body)

Not all Cerest-homeplanet animals have a decentralized nervous system like Cerest themselves do (such as these two animals, who have all their thinking meat in their head), but either way a shard of metal through the face isn’t good for anything

There are pockets of Cerest wildlife in the SEZ if you look for them hard enough, which Rinshi has to do because they’re currently in the outer reaches of it away from any inhabited districts where you could just buy/steal meat products. They're spending a considerable amount of time doing this since they're trying to keep a large hypercarnivore alive right now.

Maro got her face and torso cut up pretty bad during her.uh. Incident. Luckily Cerest heal fast, though infection and only eating rats has complicated and prolonged things. They’re currently living in an old habitat pod, which she can hardly leave thanks to the healing process (which has left her pretty much unable to walk. If she could, she'd definitely be the one doing the hunting because she has fewer qualms about killing things than rinshi does.)

This conversation is pretty out of character for her, but like she said, it's boring spending most of your time asleep in a garbage heap rather than pursuing your ambitions of ruling the world. Thankfully, she can always just ask her trusty retainer about things they don’t want to talk about.

‘et kerusit’ is just the Cerest version of like ‘my liege’ but specifically in the Sundyne female context and specifically for someone in Maro’s (former) rank/position in her (former) clan. "Princess" is also a pretty close analog but neither really sounded right so I made up some words. "Retainer” is the closest word I could find for what Rinshi is to Maro, and it fits fairly well (there is probably a better word out there but i like the old-timey knight vibe) they were originally employed to her clan as basically her little assistant and mandatory friend/bodygaurd/ally/etc. This happened mostly as an insult to her because that role should normally fall to a fellow sundyne and not a 'lesser species', but she has made it work.

I'm still testing this out but the Cerest language conventions are also why the question marks are out front most of the time, they don't change tone to indicate a question and instead just say an "I'm asking you a question" word at the start.

Rinshi also has a sort of stutter no matter what language they're speaking, with different words and sounds causing prolongations or repetitions. They didn't have any kind of support for the issue growing up, so theyre not great at managing it. So that's why some of their words are like that

The aforementioned rank difference is also why Maro gets 2 << instead of 1 when speaking (she's using a different enunciation of words to indicate her status, as is Rinshi. Basically ï for royalty i for commoner, or something. If they were speaking a Drecu dialect rather than a Sundyne one, their words would be in these things -> [[ ) .

As I’ve mentioned up there, they see each other more like siblings in their own mini clan (but she definitely calls the shots in their relationship )

Muttreazik think rebirth is real and they’re kind of right (at least within their own species). Rinshi does NOT want to dwell on where they used to live but those ideas were drilled in at a very young age.

[genderqueerdykes]

“Oh you’re just angry when the disgusting trannies you secretly think are men in dresses are standing up for themselves instead of letting you treat us like doormats” is a thing i see a lot, like no. I wish i had the guts to say “You can stand up for yourself and assert yourself without being an absolute bellend about it, and also way to make hard fast (and incorrect) assumptions about me and my thoughts on my trans sisters just because I said you should not immediately jump to assuming harm or being a standoffish bellend when you can handle things with more tact and emotional control than immediate aggression if not for yourself then for your reputation and those around you” aloud without being so afraid of being labelled a bitchy whiny “tme” (see: one slip from saying the quiet part aloud and calling me a hormonal woman) “upset he’s not the centre of the universe for once” by people who intentionally and maliciously misinterpret what I say for the sake of finding a devil in the details that isn’t there.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I’m just overall tired of the rising culture of “you can be an asshole to people right out the gate if they’re wrong about something or say something hurtful” that’s prevalent not just in trans spaces but in the internet as a whole. People have conflated assertiveness and self-assurance with being an outright jerk and it makes it next to impossible to communicate anything with anyone without being fucking terrified of a bad actor or coming across wrong and not being given the room to elaborate.

Thank you so much for sending this. I really appreciate it because I agree 100% with this. I've had this exact same feeling for a long time as well.

My issue right now with our communities is not the fact that other trans women are speaking up for themselves, but rather that we've created and environment where being transfem and/or a trans woman means you have the right to be an actual asshole, and that you don't have to hold back from being cruel to other people, even other queer people, if something makes you even slightly emotional or upset. It's gotten to a point where so many transfems will instantly react by screaming and telling other people to shut up and to stop talking and that they are speaking out of turn. it's the default at this point. So many transfems are struggling with this right now. I understand it comes from a place of hurt, but it doesn't make it right.

It's happening in REAL LIFE, too, this is NOT isolated to online communities. A lot of transfems and trans women are fairly heavy internet users, so this behavior exists in both realms. I have experienced this in real life, in person, so it's a huge deal. I've had transfems scream at me for no reason other than I was crying. I've gotten screamed at for crying and being emotional.

We have to call it what it is finally and admit that we're allowing certain transfems and trans women to go way too far and hurt and shut up other people for literally no reason. We're allowing transfems and trans women a pass to be rude assholes for no good reason. No one should be getting a pass to do that. No gender or other queer gives you a pass to be an asshole. No gender or other queer identity gives you a pass to refuse to listen to other queer people and quite literally talk over them. being an asshole doesn't win people over, it just isolates you even more.

By constantly complaining about how transmascs and trans men and intersex people are "talking over us" and trying our hardest to shut them up so we can keep talking, we are the ones who are silencing other people and making the conversation about us all the time. We really are going through an "I am feel upset when we are not about me?" crisis right now in the trans community, and I'm going to break it to every other transfem and trans woman, but it's not trans men who are doing this right now. it's just not. sure there are trans men on a small scale who do it, but we are seeing a large scale effort to actively silence trans men. We are the ones talking over people, and yes it matters. Yes we have to accept criticism for this. Attacking someone and instantly telling them to shut up because the conversation shifted away from yourself is talking over someone else. We are literally talking over trans men and mascs right now. We are the ones doing it on a large scale.

“You can stand up for yourself and assert yourself without being an absolute bellend about it, and also way to make hard fast (and incorrect) assumptions about me and my thoughts on my trans sisters just because I said you should not immediately jump to assuming harm or being a standoffish bellend when you can handle things with more tact and emotional control than immediate aggression if not for yourself then for your reputation and those around you” aloud without being so afraid of being labelled a bitchy whiny “tme” (see: one slip from saying the quiet part aloud and calling me a hormonal woman) “upset he’s not the centre of the universe for once” by people who intentionally and maliciously misinterpret what I say for the sake of finding a devil in the details that isn’t there.

Thank you for this. It's not all transfems and trans women doing this, I will gladly say that. But those who are are showing these behaviors and these behaviors are not only toxic, genuinely damaging, but projection. It's all projection and it's genuinely painful to watch because these specific individuals do not realize that's what they're doing.

The behaviors in question that are genuinely a problem & danger are:

Instantly making negative assumptions about transmascs & trans mens' opinions on transfems and trans women, forcing the transmasc and/or trans man to have to defend themselves, instantly creating hostility and tension from the start of the interaction. This is negging, catastrophizing & black and white thinking.

The transfem and/or trans woman in the situation is expecting the other party to regulate their emotions for them. I've spoken with my therapist about this on a grander scale outside of just transfems and trans women and she told me most people expect others to validate and regulate their emotions for them. This is an extreme example of that behavior.

Demanding control of the situation due to thinking that they/all transfems or trans women are smarter than men, which is just bioessentialism copied and pasted.

Instantaneous misogyny and bioessentialism the second the transfem and/or trans woman finds out someone is a trans man, transmasc, AFAB trans person, AFAB genderqueer, nonbinary, gnc or other gender non conforming person, or intersex person with a vagina. This is one of the biggest issues we are facing in the community right now. A lot of transfems & trans women have tons of internalized misogyny and bioessentialism to get over, and this is an extreme example of that. Not all trans women and transfems believe these things, but the ones participating in these behaviors are struggling hard with internalized misogyny and bio/gender essentialism.

Instantly jumping to calling an AFAB trans person, trans man, transmasc, or other ""TME"" whiny or bitchy is deeply misogynistic. Viewing people with vaginas or who you perceive to have a vagina as bitchy or whiny is an extremely common form of misogyny that's present in cis women as well. Cis women who speak up for themselves are called bitchy. Cis women and trans men who have strong emotions are called whiny. As you pointed out, the logic is quite literally one step away from calling the trans man, trans masc, or other queer person in this group a "hysterical/hormonal woman".

Believing that one is smarter than the other if they have a penis, and the other person has a vagina. The tendency to treat people with vaginas as too stupid to think for themselves, weak, or lying stems from misogyny and toxic masculinity, and yes, transfems and trans women can still hold toxic masculine beliefs and behaviors. No one is immune to toxic masculinity. This is also bioessentialism.

When I moved into a local punk house because I was homeless, a lot of the people who came there frequently and lived there liked me a lot. Flirting with me, trying to hang out with me as much as they could, listening to everything i said, asking for my opinion on things. People had no issues with talking to me and were not rude at all. However, once my trans GF at the time found out I don't have a penis yet, and I have a vagina, she instantly started treating me different. The news spread and soon everyone was treating me differently.

I was now getting talked down to. I was now having my gender mocked and questioned. I was having my disabilities questioned. I was being questioned if I was faking my DID or Schizophrenia even though that never came up before. suddenly, out of nowhere, I was being told by the cis gay man and the amab trans girl i lived with that t hey had "never seen me in a psychotic or dissociative episode" before and that none of my alters are distinct and that i didn't present like i had DID, but the amab trans girl she was dating had "super obvious DID" that "wasn't anything like mine". She would go on and on about that girl's alters and how she obviously noticed when they switched, but then never spent enough time with me to notice when I actually did switch. My GF at the time did at least acknowledge my DID, but other people were challenging it left, right and center.

I could tell I Was being treated like a cis woman. It was painfully obvious. The atmosphere instantly turned sour. There was way more tension than before. The cis gay man I lived with was very misogynistic and seemed to see most trans men as cis women. It's inescapable. This isn't something that just happens online. A lot of transfems, trans women, gay men, and other queer people just do not view trans men as men at all and view us as cis women, no matter how hard we pass or no matter how far we progress in our transition. You can't be a man without a penis, and if you get a penis through surgery it doesn't count because it's "not the same".

People genuinely do treat you worse when they find out you have a vagina or think that you have one. They will start treating you different the moment they find out. And yes, this includes trans women and transfems. It's rampant behavior. I dealt with it with other transfems who showed up as well. There were a lot. It was very painful to feel like an outcast in a very trans space. The reason so many transfems and trans women think that it doesn't happen is because it gets dismissed and erased constantly. Some people genuinely do go out of their way to cover up this behavior. It's not every transfem or trans woman, but this behavior is happening in every corner of the queer community right now.

I don't know if the people who say these things realize, but we see what you are doing. It's really obvious. We seriously aren't as dumb as you think we are. Please get over the internalized misogyny and bioessentialism that tells you to hate people assigned female at birth and people with vaginas. That's just textbook misogyny and bioessentialism.

[bitingdrivers]

bones au!! max tells daniel another new fact about himself - maxiel, 1.1k words - read on ao3

The Founding Fathers is busy tonight. The vintage interior of the bar is bathed in warm orange light, the chatter of people and soft music creates a gentle background to conversations. 

It's Friday evening, most people are here to relax after a stressful week of work, meet up with friends or celebrate. 

Max and Daniel aren't here to celebrate – their case isn't solved yet, but it hasn't been stressful either. Truth be told, Daniel is not sure why they're here. 

They were in the lab discussing the details of the case – the body was found on a demolition site, the victim turned out to be a stripper, who also worked in a financial firm. Max had said that he and Carlos found the cause of death – apparently someone punched the guy and he broke his neck on a corner of a bed frame when he fell. Daniel had decided that tomorrow he will talk to the victim's girlfriend. 

After that, they were both reluctant to end the evening, and instead decided to go have a bottle of beer at the bar. 

It's very noisy here so they have to sit close to hear each other. 

“You know, I don't understand why he was stripping,” Daniel says, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Well, a lot of young men become strippers because they need to pay for college,” Max explains before taking a sip too. 

Daniel cocks an eyebrow. “But he already had a job. He was a stock broker.”

“Then he simply liked doing it,” Max shrugs. “I understand it, the victim was handsome and he was probably doing it to feel powerful.”

“You think he was handsome?” Daniel smirks, taking another sip of his beer. He hopes it's not weird talking about a dead guy like that. 

“Yes,” Max hums. 

“I mean, you could be an exotic dancer too, with your alluring personality, muscular build and symmetrical features,” he adds, gesturing to Daniel. 

Daniel almost chokes on his beer. 

“Hah, thanks, Bones. But a good bod is not the only requirement to get into stripping,” he chuckles, rubbing his neck. “Оtherwise you'd be a stripper too,” Daniel ends, shaking his head at the ridiculous thought. 

As the evening marches on, the bar only gets busier, and louder, so it’s only natural for the two men to move in even closer to each other. Their shoulders are touching now, and Daniel can see the individual lashes on Max’s eyes as he studies Daniel before speaking. 

“I actually had once,” he admits.

“Had what?” Daniel asks, puzzled. 

“Stripped.”

Daniel almost chokes on his beer. Again. 

“Wh-For college?” Daniel falters. 

He doesn't expect Max to laugh. And it's not a chuckle either, it's his full-body laugh that makes him bend to the table. 

Daniel suddenly feels much drunker. Maybe this beer is stronger than he thought. 

Max wipes the corner of his eye, still shaking from laughter. “No, no, not for college. I wrote an anthropology paper on stripping in grad school,” he explains, grinning. 

“And you had to,” Daniel pauses, looking for the word, “participate for it?”

“Of course. I wouldn't be a scientist if I hadn't,” Max answers, taking a sip. His bottle is half empty. 

Daniel can see a slight blush on his cheeks. He decides it's safe to take a sip too. 

“What…what was your act?” Daniel finds himself asking. 

He feels a weird feeling rising in his chest, but he quickly pushes past it. There is nothing wrong with asking Max – his friend – about this. Daniel had had far more personal conversations with his mates. Maybe it's because Max is such a private person. 

Max raises an eyebrow. “My act?” 

“Yes, your stripping act. You know, a firefighter or a– a policeman…” Daniel trails off. 

“Oh. I didn't have an act,” Max replies, shrugging.

Daniel hums, picking up his beer – it's almost empty. It's getting late, but maybe they can have one more round. 

“I just used glitter,” Max drops. 

Daniel is starting to think that Max invited him here so he could kill him by making him choke. 

Max seems to take his silence as encouragement to continue. 

“One of the men there gave me this body glitter that you can put on your skin,” he says, rubbing his arms. 

“The next month I kept finding that glitter on all of my things,” Max frowns, shaking his head. 

The beer is definitely strong, Daniel thinks. He can't stop his mind from wandering – to pale skin covered in sparkly glitter, dotted with small freckles and soft hair. Max sits beside him in a simple white t-shirt and blue jeans. In his mind’s eye Daniel can see the way Max would peel off his shirt… 

He shakes his head to dispel the thoughts. No, they shouldn't do another round.

“Maybe if this anthropology gig doesn't work out you can pick it up again,” Daniel jokes, acting normal.

Max makes a face. “No, it was for the paper,” he pauses, “And I didn't like it.”

Daniel suddenly feels the need to stand up and do…something – shadow box or jump around or stand very closely to Max and growl at anyone who approaches them – but he's not sure why. He takes another sip instead. 

“The others of course loved it. But I don't think I was good at it. I am not used to acting like that,” Max says, looking away.

Like what, Daniel almost asks, but doesn't. His mind supplies an answer already. Jesus. 

Maybe he should go on a date or something. 

“I'm sure you looked great, Bones,” Daniel admits, trying to end this conversation. “But I think it's better for you to stay a scientist… less glitter,” he grins, wiggling his fingers. 

He can practically feel the mood lightening. 

Max groans, “Ugh, Daniel, don't even tell me. Sometimes I think I still find glitter in my apartment!” he exclaims and drinks his beer. The blush on his cheeks is even brighter now. 

They chat a little more, finishing their beers. When they get up and put on their jackets, Daniel reaches for his wallet to pay, but Max has already put a few bills on the counter. 

Daniel chuckles. Max grins at him. They somehow developed this game of who can pay the bill faster. Tonight Max seems to be the winner. 

Sometimes, very rarely, Daniel doesn't try to win because he wants to see Max’s pleased smile. And a few bucks wouldn't make a difference to him anyway – being a forensic anthropologist definitely pays more than being an FBI agent. 

As they say goodnight to each other and Max’s taxi drives off, Daniel pulls out his phone to look through his contacts – he needs to find a woman to go on a date with.

[coraniaid]

Standard disclaimer that I understand themes and motifs and I'm aware that the reasons characters do things in fiction is because the writers have decided it will drive the plot, rather than because of those fictional characters (who do not in reality exist) being inherently "good" or "bad" people.

Additional disclaimer that I don't think there's any one single reason that Faith ends up spiralling after Finch's death and siding with the Mayor, that the necessary dominoes started falling years before Faith was even Called as a Slayer and that by the time Faith had lost her first Watcher and been living out of a motel room for months and been tricked and betrayed by Gwendolyn Post and accidentally killed a man there probably wasn't anything anyone could have done to stop her from doing all of that.

One more disclaimer: I do not, despite what the rest of this post (or any other posts I may have made or fanfiction I may have written) might suggest, think that Faith's story in Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be somehow improved if she hadn't had the character arc she has in canon. I do not think it would improve the story if Faith hadn't ended up making a series of terrible and short-sided and selfish decisions which ended up making not only her own life much worse but also many other peoples' lives worse [and a couple of other peoples' lives much shorter]. I do not think Faith's fall and eventual redemption is a problem that somehow needs to be fixed.

That being said though ...

Why on Earth, when Giles realizes Faith is lying to him about who really killed Allan Finch, does he decide the best course of action is (1) to pretend to believe her, and (2) make a big show of acting as though Buffy's in a lot of trouble before sending Faith back home to her motel room? In Consequences itself the only excuse he gives is that he "needed [Faith] to think he was on her side" but .. well,

First, newsflash, Rupert: you are meant to be on her side. That is the job you signed up for and are still insisting on doing despite nominally being fired!; and furthermore

This only explains why he pretends to believe Faith. Why does he make a show of throwing the book at Buffy, something that can only help to convince Faith she was right to lie? ("If this is what he's saying to Buffy, his first Slayer and obvious favorite, imagine what he'd be saying if he knew it was me?")

Why not pretend to believe Faith, reassure her she did the right thing by coming to tell him -- and that he's sure she only did it because she knew Buffy needed help -- and then give her the speech he later gives Buffy about how "this isn't the first time something like this has happened" and he "has no plans to involve [the Council]"?

Why not tell Faith that this isn't the first time Buffy herself has been accused of killing a man and questioned by the police? Why not tell her that he himself once accidentally killed a man, and that's something that he and 'Buffy' now have in common? If possible, he could even take Buffy aside and explain the truth to her, and ask her to play along with the charade for now?

Surely if Faith sees that Giles isn't prepared to throw Buffy under a bus, and that he acknowledges that "the Slayer is on the front side of a nightly war" and that "accidents happen", and he's more interested in making sure both of them get the help they need than meting out punishment, she's much more likely to actually admit the truth eventually?

Even if she doesn't want to do that, why not just ask Faith to "sit in" while he talks to Buffy about what "she" did and asks her to explain how she was feeling, so that Faith is in earshot for any advice or suggestions he makes about what to do next? Giles says out loud in this conversation with Buffy that he's worried about "scaring [Faith] off", so ... why is that exactly what he decides to do?

Again, note the disclaimers above: I know the real answer to my question is "that isn't the story the writers wanted to tell". It is necessary for the short-term twist that Faith seems to have convinced Giles to blame Buffy for Finch's death, and for the longer term plot that Giles be unable (or unwilling) to offer Faith any help. I understand that.

But -- in-universe, pretending Giles and Buffy and Faith are all real people -- is there an explanation for this that doesn't boil down to "Giles is a pretty lousy Watcher and should probably not be acting in a mentor role at all?". Why has he decided that the number one priority before anything else must be for Faith to admit it was her, and not the girl Giles can't help but see as a daughter, who killed Finch, when he accepts that -- whoever did it -- it was entirely accidental? If he's not telling the Council anyway and nobody is going to be sent away to be punished, what is the actual issue here?

"There is no help for her until she admits what happened." Okay, Giles, but why have you decided to unilaterally invent this rule, and why do you never use it for anyone else? We saw way back in Faith, Hope & Trick that Giles has no problem at all lying to people who aren't willing to admit the truth in order to help them. If, that is, by "people" we mean "Buffy Summers". Why can't you do the same thing for a girl you don't personally like?

[whentherewerebicycles]

my baby is eight months old and every month of his wonderful little life has been better and more joyful than the last (which is saying something, because every month has been so good). he is still very Baby but he is also suddenly blossoming into a little kid before my eyes and it’s so much to handle 😭 he has always been an expressive talker but these days he has the most delightfully animated little conversations with himself, full of complex baby feelings like surprise and delight and shock and glee and of course spluttering indignation (you would not BELIEVE the wrongs done to angelic little babies these days! they have to take naps in their CRIBS!!). he laughs and gasps and hoots and fake coughs, and then he looks at you with a sly little expression to see if you think he’s funny. he is silliest with me by far (he still gets a bit shy and reserved around new people) but he also absolutely adores Liz & A and his nanny and breaks into the most bashful gummy little grin as soon as they walk into a room. he is still bald as an egg but NOT FOR LONG, as he wakes up every morning with more dark fuzz on his big round noggin. this month he learned to sit up and now he wants to be sitting up playing with his toys all the time (he is over the moon to have discovered a mother-approved alternative to accursed tummy time). he has developed strong preferences for certain toys along with the motor skills to select the objects he wants, and he is quite discerning—last week’s toys are so last week and he gets an impatient expression on his face if you try to entice him with formerly beloved objects that are just like sooooo over, mom, pleaseee don’t embarrass him in front of his friends (the dogs). speaking of the dogs it is his most cherished desire to pat them but they give him a wide berth except for the occasional facewash sneak attack. he spends a lot of time bouncing up and down in his seat reaching longingly for them while they ignore him completely. he has the chonkiest most solid little baby feet you have ever seen in your life and little fat bow legs that curve down to his chonky little feet and perfect fat little baby hands that he loves to slam repeatedly against his tray or his mat or your face. he has one little razor-sharp sliver of a front bottom tooth and I genuinely CANNOT handle it, it is just too much, he gives you his square little gummy smile and then you see the TOOTH and you’re like that’s it, I’m dead, this killed me. he had perfectly shaped little orecchiette ears when he was born and I am delighted to report that they remain absolutely perfect and when you nibble on them he acts like you’re tickling him and does his little turtle-in-a-shell teeheehee reaction. I would say that his basic temperament is the same but perhaps tends more towards a happiness default than the reserved watchfulness of previous months. he is still quite watchful—in all the daycare videos I get he is sitting with the big kids observing them play with a totally focused expression—but he is also delightfully silly and laughs a lot, especially at home. if he’s not hungry and has napped reasonably well, he is easygoing, adaptable, and game for pretty much whatever. he is such a good sleeper I can’t tell anyone in my offline life about it except liz whose baby is also a unicorn sleeper… but honestly I think that’s probably the root of his default good mood (if I slept 12 hours a night I’d also be the best possible version of myself). let’s see what else… idk this month has just been so fun. he’s just a little person now and I genuinely enjoy hanging out with him. I just think he rocks.

his favorite toy in this exact moment: his stacking cups, especially when you put a plastic ball inside of them for him to tip out onto the floor. his most beloved object: his squishmallow, of course, which sends him into transports of delight when he sees it. his favorite food: with the exception of arugula this child has never met a food he didn’t like. he LIVES to EAT. words his daycare teacher most frequently uses to describe him: “Owen is SOOOO hungry!!!” other favorite activities this month: kicking in the bath or in the pool, watching trees go by on car rides, slamming his hands as hard as he can against his high chair tray, watching the dogs wrestle, being swung slowly back and forth like the pendulum in a giant clock, gazing at his beautiful reflection in the mirror, kissing his beautiful reflection in the mirror, having mom make his squish swoop down from high above to CHOMP him, chewing on the edges of plastic bins, and scritch-scratching the rock wall outside of our house. he’s perfect. my beloved little kiddo.

[lqtraintracks]

Writing Interview

Thanks so much for the tag @starquestingfordrarry! <333

how many works do you have on ao3? 337

what's your total ao3 word count? 1,454,047

your top 5 stories by kudos

Right Hand Red (with freakin’ 40,662; sorry, I just noticed that it had ticked over the 40k mark and I’m flabbergasted and so grateful as well <3 )

Hung Like a Horntail

Slip Into My Lover’s Hands

Weeds or Wildflowers written with sdk / @unmistakablyoatmeal

check this hand ‘cause I’m marvelous

do you respond to comments? Er… yes?? Like, very. verrrrry. slowly. But I’ll admit that some will never get answered because I lose steam and then when I start trying again, I start with the newest ones. This might sound horn-tooty, which is not how I intend it, but with the number of stories I’ve written, I get a lot of comments. I’ve found it impossible to keep up, but I do my best, even if my best is sometimes a bit crappy. I do read and appreciate every comment I get though!

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? I don’t really do angsty endings often. When I do, it’s usually a Prongsfoot or something. Of the Drarry fics I’ve written, I have one open ending but it’s still pretty hopeful, and that’s Burning the Ground. 

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? All of them. :D My goal in life is to get readers (and myself) to cry with joy at the end of my stories. Some standouts just from memory are Heart Like Neon, Bolts, Take You Home, Jasmine in Bloom, Right Hand Red, Blood and Fire, and The Most Splendid Thing. 

do you write crossovers? Maybe one or two over the last 25 years. So, statistically, not so much. 

have you ever received hate on a fic? LOL of course. :D But I don’t linger on those comments. They’re quite few honestly. 

do you write smut? No, never. 

have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. 

have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Quite a few have been. Not even sure how many languages, but I know there are several in Russian, Chinese, and I think both Spanish and Portuguese. 

have you ever co-written a fic? Yes! With the incredibly talented sdk, @the-starryknight, and @nv-md! (And one round robin with like 552 people lol.)

what's your all-time favorite ship? Drarry, my beloved. <3

what's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I don’t really have wips. I’m a chronic finisher. I did start something last year for a friend’s birthday and then pooped out. I ended up writing her a completely different pairing months later. And then I took some of the vibes and ideas from that unfinished fic and wrote them into other fics that I *did* finish, so… Cannibalism. Yeah. 

what are your writing strengths? LOL finishing things! :D Also: smut, for sure. Humor. Sort of achy, hot romances? My trademark is writing tenderness and filth simultaneously. I’ve gotten good at pacing things well, so that beats and arcs feel well-rounded and satisfying, I think. 

what are your writing weaknesses? Ugh, plot!!! Specifically non-romance-or-pairing-based plotlines are difficult for me. Heavy angst. Also stakes. I struggle to up the stakes for my characters enough to give a big payoff. I struggle to make my characters change enough or to effectively write that change in a satisfying way. (This applies more to my original writing than to fic, I think.)

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’m not sure what the hot take here is and if there is one I’m missing it. My original novel has a Spanish speaker and he will sometimes slip into Spanish during conversation. I wanted to get that right, so I had a native Spanish speaker (hi @capipuff!) read it to correct my bad Google-translated Spanish. So I guess my thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic is, do your best to get it right?

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?  If I want to write something, I write it. :D 

what's your favorite thing you've ever written? Oof. Wow. I want to say my original novel, even though it’s also more flawed than my fic tends to be. It’s certainly one of the things I’m most proud to have written. <3 Usually my favorite fic is the last thing I’ve written and that’s true right now as well. I love The Most Splendid Thing. But before that, my favorite was probably Jasmine in Bloom, and before that it was Take You Home. Bolts is for sure in the running. Heart Like Neon is way up there as well. As is My Name in Your Mouth, because I love that Teddy Lupin with all my horny heart. 

Okay I'm going to tag some of you fine folks now: Ali, you're it! Also, @writcraft @shiftylinguini @phoebe-delia @wholahoop @saintgarbanzo @academicdisasterfic @citrusses @corvuscrowned @lettersbyelise and @magpiefngrl

[angelpuns]

Night thoughts time.

The way I genuinely was shocked and surprised today when I realized that the transition to living with my grandma did not in fact have negative impacts on my mental health. Like at all. I was doing better in December anyway ( for some reason??) And then after I moved here its like. Wow. Is this how it feels to not hate where you're living??? Like most of my mental woes lately have been work related and I wouldn't even call them woes. Last year I would get so genuinely upset all the time at what felt like nothing but GODDAMN maybe it was something and I wasn't being overdramatic??? Idk.

Maybe I just haven't lived here long enough to cause turmoil who knows. I also had a brief period of genuine happiness and good mental health back when I first got an apartment with an ex friend, but obviously I realized later that it actually was awful. So maybe I'm just in the honeymoon period. But also not having to see my parents every. Single. Day. Is such a breath of fresh air. I haven't felt this good in a while. idk what that says about me or them but who cares :) I'm doing well for now :))

I actually prepared so much for this move ( not packing stuff, I mean like preparing myself mentally and checking and double checking stuff that was important to me, stuff like that ) that maybe that's why I haven't been totally mentally destroyed by it. But I do genuinely think I'm no longer in fight or flight mode. Like I used to come home every day and not be able to do anything cause the mental strain of the job AND dealing with my parents was just too much. And I thought I was being overdramatic and lazy. But now that I don't live with them I find it pretty easy to come home and have actually nice conversations with my grandma and then I'm still able to do a significant amount of things before bed. Like my day isn't over at 5 anymore because the mental strain isn't there ( as far as home stuff anyway )

Also! I totally overdid it again today and I am in p a I n :) unrelated to the parents thing haha

[peachhcs]

Maybe some gabe and emma angst🫣🫣

honestly i don’t even know if they’d have angst tbh😭 they’re so nonchalant and chill with one another. i guess we could continue to build off of the slight angst i wrote the other day about emma feeling out of place around gabe’s friends.

i think in their first year of dating it’s something that takes her awhile to get used to and really integrate herself into the group. like she knows samy & hannah & julianne all love her, but it’s like her own mind telling her she doesn’t kind of thing. like an anxiety thing i guess.

part 2??

au masterlist

the huge women’s soccer game against the university of michigan was this weekend and after hearing about it nonstop from gabe the past week, emma was tagging along with gabe and the guys to go watch samy, a michigan friend the blonde’s also heard a lot about since she started talking to gabe back in september.

she’d never seen the guys so excited for something that wasn’t hockey because the walk to the stadium was rowdy between the seven of them. they were talking over one another, poking each other with the signs they made, and of course, slightly tipsy from the few shots they took before to get themselves hyped up.

emma lingered near the back with gabe who was shouting along with them. she really tried joining in with them, but seven guys against one girl never ended well. even ryan’s girlfriend was in town for the game which told emma how important this was to all of them.

she found it really endearing that they all cared so much about samy like this and emma was pretty excited to meet the infamous girl.

“you doing okay?” gabe wondered for a moment as he unattached himself from what was going on in front of them.

“yeah, i’m good. never seen you guys so excited before,” the blonde giggled.

“yeah, we get pretty hyped for soccer. just wait till you see hughesy play. she’s a beast,” the dark-haired boy gushed.

emma had done a little research last night when she couldn’t sleep. she saw the old news headlines about samy winning back to back to back state titles in high school and winning 2 gold medals back when she played hockey. the youngest hughes was the real deal and it was no wonder that all of her brothers were the same.

everyone scanned their tickets as they entered the stadium and emma tried keeping her grip on gabe’s hand so they didn’t lose one another or she didn’t lose them. ryan and will were in the front leading the way to the stands and julianne was up with them too. emma talked a bit with the girl, but she always got pulled away by one of the guys so their conversations were a bit short lived.

emma quickly learned that there was a set way the boys always sat in the stands together when they went to soccer games. ryan, will, and gabe took the front while drew, vote, aram, and jacob sat behind them. because gabe was in the front, emma got to be too and julianne was beside her.

“i see hughesy,” drew pointed down to the field where samy and her teammates were warming up on the farther end of the field. her matching #6 with will spread across her back and her braided ponytail swayed back and forth as she moved.

emma felt like she was in the presence of some celebrity or something.

“hughesy! hughesy! hughesy!” the guys started chanting all together which grabbed the girl’s attention.

she quickly smiled and hurried her way over to where they were. will was leaning over the railing to say hi. emma smiled at the couple’s affection and then observed the way the others took turns greeting samy.

just the way they interacted and hugged her showed how close they all were. it warmed a part of emma’s heart but the other part didn’t feel as warm for some reason.

was it jealousy that everyone was so close with samy and emma’s never really had a close group of friends before? or was it because her boyfriend was close with a very insanely popular girl?

now, emma never considered herself the jealous type. she hardly ever got jealous, but for some reason there was this tug in her chest and a weird feeling she couldn’t shake.

“oh my god, are you emma?” samy finally turned her attention to the blonde. she flushed.

“yeah, i am..” emma said.

“i’ve heard so much about you!! it’s good to finally meet you,” samy was a hugger by nature as she wrapped gabe’s girlfriend into her arms.

“it’s good to meet you too. i’ve also heard a lot,” emma laughed a little.

“gabe, you picked a real good one. we’ll have to all talk after the game, but i’m so glad you guys are here!” samy said a goodbye before hurrying back down to the field.

the boys and julianne were now talking over one another about the brunette. they started talking soccer logistics which unfortunately, emma didn’t know too much about. there was also talk about thanksgiving break and winter break—and then also something about world juniors?

emma wasn’t really keeping up.

and for most of the time, she didn’t really keep up. the guys were shouting things next to her and behind her the whole game. ryan was the loudest and grumbling whenever the refs made bad calls that sometimes got boston’s student section yelling back at him about cheering for the other team.

all emma could really follow was samy down on the field where the soccer player proved just how good she was by scoring 3 of the 4 goals michigan earned that gave them an easy win.

when the game finished, they all lingered and waited for samy to come back out so they could catch up. emma stuck by gabe’s side who had his arm wrapped around her waist, but he was in deep conversation with drew and aram about world juniors coming up.

that feeling emma had since the beginning of the game only got bigger.

she knew she didn’t know everyone that well yet and that they all spent two good years together in michigan, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was always missing something whenever she was in their world with them. like she was on the outside looking in or something.

will was on samy first when she came out finally. he was hugging her and kissing her and the guys started chirping at him for it.

“yeah, we get it. you’re together,” drew teased which made the others laugh.

will just rolled his eyes while samy seemed un-phased by it. emma wondered how she let the teasing roll off her back so easily because she always got embarrassed when the guys teased her and gabe.

“honestly, i’m so glad we’re adding more girls to this group. julianne and i always feel overpowered,” samy chuckled and glanced at emma.

“hey, we’re not that bad. us being at boston is actually probably the greatest gift you could receive from us because you don’t see us everyday anymore,” drew quickly cut in.

“a true blessing, yes. it’s so nice not getting to see you everyday,” samy teased.

“hey,” will pouted and emma watched how the brunette pinched her boyfriend’s cheek.

she glanced at gabe who was staring at the two with a look that was hard to read. that pinch in her stomach became harder to ignore and maybe emma was a jealous person.

the group talked for a bit longer before samy needed to go. they let will have the last moment with her in private. emma walked with gabe back to the dorms, her mind racing with different thoughts about the look he was giving samy and will and how she’d probably never reach the level they all were with one another.

“dinner later?” gabe hummed, smiling as he glanced at his girlfriend once they were inside.

“yeah, sure. i’m feeling kind of tired though, so i’ll text you,” emma mumbled a half lie because she was pretty tired from the game.

she tried not to read into gabe’s expression when she said that, “okay. well, let me know. i’ll see you later?”

“yeah, see you,” she let him kiss her forehead before emma headed towards the stairs. she lived on the 3rd floor so she never needed to take the elevator whereas gabe was up on the 8th floor with will.

needless to say, emma didn’t text gabe later.