#but i also heard positive news back from the other apartment which is good!!! hope to god i won't have to make a decision
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girl i had another apartment visitation today and i effin broke the fucking door of the kitchen cabinet lmao bury me bury me bury me bury me bury me bury me
#txt#saskia talks#tho this time i spoke a lot more and got along well with the realtor#who's nice!! a bit racist but nice!! i guess they're all a bit racist here anyway it's the vibe of this city tbf#it's a nice apartment he said it's no issue i broke it but like what else is he supposed to say lmao#tbf it's not that broken and it's not even the original door i'm just embarrassed#this mainly means he'll remember me tho this can be good#then again he might remember me from when i got out my compass is this strange btw he looked very amused by this but like why not#let me know which direction the windows face i want to know where the sun is bestie#not sh#but i also heard positive news back from the other apartment which is good!!! hope to god i won't have to make a decision#but making a decision would be unrealistic anyway bc there's hundreds of people who want those apartments fr#so i need to stop focusing on this unrealistic scenario but who here can control their head!! certainly not me#that crack is going to play in my mind for a WHILE tho
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Together (IX)
Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, injuries, abuse, kidnappings, shootings, swearing and scary men.
Summary: They're finally together and nothing's getting in the way... maybe.
A/N: So this is the second final chapter before the epilogue. This has been so much fun to write you don't understand. This is like my baby that I've had since January and I'm so proud. You guys have shown so much love for it that it makes me upset it's all coming to an end. So I hope you enjoy and cherish the last two chapters of this series!!
I'm not a professional so ignore any medical inaccuracies. Also, for my sake, let's pretend that all these characters are still here because I can't be asked to remember who left and what season is which. Everyone's just going to exist happily together ;))
Previous Chapter / Series Masterlist / Next Chapter
The gunshots reverberated through the warehouse, despite being cut off from the outside world it sounded like a battlefield where thousands of bullets were being shot when in reality it was probably under thirty people shooting back and forth at each other.
You’d been awake for a while now, your body curling around Will’s as both of you shivered. He tried talking, telling you stories that you somehow never heard before but talking became too hard at one point and his pain doubled resulting in staying in silence.
The silence made it easy to get lost in thought, getting carried away in the thought that maybe this was it. It daunted on you that no matter how hard you fought, how hard your brothers fought, none of it was enough at the end of the day because look at where the three of you ended up.
Half an hour later, Will was dragging you and himself towards the door as soon as the gunshots went off. He murmured how when the door was eventually opened, you’d be hidden behind the door and it’d taken just a few seconds longer to be found, giving Will hopefully some time to come up with a very last-minute plan.
Holding in your breath, you waited anxiously on the floor with Will crouched besides you, pain evident on his face from the new uncomfortable position. Just as you were going to tell him to sit down, footsteps could be heard stomping downstairs and across the corridors.
You and Will shared a glance, worry written boldly on both your faces. This was probably it and that thought of this being the end made the pit in your stomach grow. All this pain and suffering only ending in death, it was kinda pathetic. You prayed Jay mourned healthily, prayed Kelly wouldn’t lose himself and moved on, prayed that everything stuck together, and no one let this tear them apart.
Will gripped your hand as tightly as he could, his body shielding yours as best he could because if this was it, then he was going to go down protecting you and putting up some sort of a fight. You squeezed his hand back as tight as you could, expressing words that you were too scared to say in the silence that was interrupted by stomping feet and shattering bullets.
With a watery smile, you squeezed Will’s hand one more time for good measure, maintaining eye contact for just a little longer, having a silent conversation where you both said everything necessary with simply your eyes; eyes that you shared with Jay and eyes that he shared with your dad. Merely the thought of it made a tear slip from where you were pushing it back.
Will softly smiled back at you, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles comfortingly. This minute of silence shared between you two wasn’t enough, you wanted, scratch that you needed more time.
The sound of struggle was the next thing you heard; someone was trying to get into the locked room. The sudden banging overtook your thundering heart that was already having a tough time.
The door burst open; it happened so fast that it hit Will’s back whose face scrunched up in pain. You squeezed his hand tighter to hopefully offer him some comfort, but he only adjusted his position so that his crouched body was fully covering yours from outside eyes.
“Please, please don’t touch her.” Will begged, urgency dripping as it heavily coated his words. He would rather they did all the damage on him than you, you’d been hurt enough, and he could handle a little more violence. You argued he couldn’t since he was barely stable while on the ground. If he wasn’t being so hypervigilant and took the time, he’d realise he was worse off than he thought.
“Thank fuck.”
That didn’t sound like Jackson or Ezra, neither did it sound like any of their bulky lackeys.
You slowly peeled your eyes open, watching as Will froze from shock. All the oxygen left his body as he lay eyes, finally, on Jay.
“Shit, what the hell did they do?!” The fear and anger mixed as Jay took in the sight of his siblings. To see them again took off all the weight on his shoulders, relief replacing it but soon it was gone because you and Will looked worse than he could’ve ever anticipated.
“Help me up Jay.” Will ignored Jay’s question and instead held out his hand. Jay complied easily, pulling Will up onto his feet but as soon as he stood, he crumbled back onto the floor.
“Shit okay, never mind.” Will groaned, eyes screwed shut as he caught his breath, arm protecting his abdomen. “Leave me for now, you gotta carry Y/N, there’s no way she can walk.”
“Dude, neither can you or are you also blind now?” Jay scoffed; his eyes wide in bewilderment at his older brother's insistence. “Kevin’s down the hall, he can help.”
You and Will hummed in reply, neither of you having the energy to properly reply. You felt bad because you barely did anything while Will did all he could and more despite being incapacitated.
“Seeing your ugly mugs makes me want to cry.” Jay said, a smile appearing on his scabbed lips as he looked down at the two of you. There were no lies in his words, relief flooded his body at the simply seeing his siblings even if they were injured beyond human capabilities but being separated for so long, it did things to men.
“Come on Halstead’s, let’s get you outta here.” Kevin said, suddenly appearing from out of nowhere, making you and Will jump in fright. It would’ve been funny had your responses not been a result of the trauma you just experienced.
Jay scooped you into his arms, expletives spilling from your lips from your body being jostled around. His whispered apologies and tried comforting you, trying his best to quell your pain with just his words but it could only do so much. Behind you was Kevin holding Will around his waist, the pair being much slower as Will struggled mightily on his feet, but Kevin was a godsend, being the most patient and kind person as he supported Will.
The bright afternoon sun blinded you as your finally entered the outside world, being met with fresh air, natural lighting and the company of people who had pure intentions of helping. You briefly saw members of intelligence surrounding you, acting as a shield as they guided Jay towards the ambulance waiting.
The familiar faces of your favourite paramedics soon came into view causing a smile to break out on yours. As soon as you approached the ambo, Jay gently lay you on the awaiting stretcher and stood back, letting the professionals do their job while keeping watch.
“Oh Y/N.” Sylvie said sombrely, gingerly pushing your hair back before connecting to a bunch of wires that you couldn’t remember what their purposes were. “We’ve got you, you’re going to be just fine, okay?”
The question was rhetorical, but you still nodded drowsily in reply. You were aware of the two pairs of hands working on you, Violet and Sylvie were very likely panicking on the inside from the state you were in, but their concern took over. They could panic later once you were properly treated.
From the corner of your eyes, you could see a new group gathering around the ambo and you could hear voices rising, getting louder the closer they got to 61. If you had it in you, you would’ve looked for the source, but Sylvie reassured you that everything was being handled.
Violets hands suddenly disappeared as she suddenly exited the ambo, rushing with things in her hands. It took a while for you to understand why, your brain all muddled up, but it only now registered that Will was behind you with Kevin.
“Will.” You mumbled, your voice scratching as your panic increased. “Will-”
“Violet's with him.” Sylvie said, her undertone giving it away that she wasn’t confident deep down. “Another ambos on the way for him, don’t worry.” Yet, despite her own words, Sylvie didn’t believe in them. She saw Will for a brief millisecond when he appeared, the ruckus catching her attention, but he somehow looked worse than you under the blaring sun.
Before you could insist on being told what was happening to him, the ambulance doors were suddenly being slammed shut as Violet drove with all lights and sirens.
*****
Maggie couldn’t believe her eyes.
It had been two days since the Halstead’s disappeared. Everyone was informed on day one about their disappearance and it was news that everyone found difficulty in swallowing.
Everyone had been on edge for the 48 hours. While on shift, multiple people from intelligence and 51 made an appearance into the ED and their solemn faces were all identical. The tension was high, and it only got worse when Jay was randomly dumped outside of Med.
Around an hour ago, Kim called in saying that Will and Y/N had finally been found and that they should be prepared for the worst. And so, Maggie did what she does best.
61 Was the first to arrive with police escort, Hailey and Adam drove in front with Kim behind with Jay. They almost formed a protective circle as Sylvie exited along with Violet who helped pulling out the stretcher.
Laying eyes on you for the first time made the charge nurse sick. No matter how long she’d been working in the emergency department, nothing could ever make her get used to this.
Sylvie relayed shakily what she knew about your condition, Crocket and Natalie listening intently with April’s assistance as they got to work as soon as they entered a trauma bay. Maggie stood with Ethan and Connor by her side, watching as chaos descended in the bay. The three of them were waiting for Will.
“Jay, how about we finally get a good look at you, huh?” Ethan said, remembering what happened yesterday as he caught sight of the green-eyed detective at the back of the group who refused to look away from his baby sister.
But the man in question looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“Will’s not going to make it.” Jay stated, his voice strong and firm as he spoke. He looked away from where you were being treated and looked at everyone almost robotically. “Will’s not making it.”
Before anyone could say anything, the bay doors were opened and everyone flooded out, pushing the gurney towards the elevator. Crocket stayed back from the rest, slowly walking backwards as he explained, “We’re taking her into surgery, but all things considered, she’s looking okay.”
And with that, the surgeon was speeding off to basically save your life.
“How about we look at you Jay? You promised me, remember?” Ethan asked rhetorically, guiding the stoic man towards a different, cleaner trauma bay so that he could properly treat him, giving him everything he desperately needed yesterday.
“I don’t have Will.” Jay retorted but followed the doctor anyways.
Maggie and Connor watched the two men enter another bay before all they could hear was the sounds of the bustling yet peaceful ED. They didn’t know what to make of Jay’s words, but the man seemed hopeless and on the verge of breaking down. He looked awfully similar to the time when his dad died.
They turned to the paramedics and the three members of intelligence but the look on their faces told them everything they needed to know.
*****
Jay finally broke down when he was left alone, your sleeping body being the only thing present in the room with him.
Crocket fully led Jay through every procedure that they did, explaining what they did during the surgery and what exactly your injuries were. Usually, that was Will’s job, but Jay tried not to think about that when the surgeon gently spoke to him.
You had several broken ribs, some even fractured, and it’d been very very close to puncturing your lungs - it was apparently surprising you didn’t have a pneumothorax. You had quite the concussion, multiple lacerations that were both superficial and that needed surgical fixing. There also had been some damage to your spleen that was repaired, a fractured left hand and an out of place bone in your foot.
Overall, everyone had been expecting much worse, but they did explain to Jay that recovering would be the worst part of all of this. They weren’t sure about neurological damage nor how bad your vocal damage was. Once you woke up, there was plenty of testing to be done.
Seeing you alive and breathing, even while connected to a bunch of tubes and wires, Jay felt relief but oh so overwhelmed at the same time. So much happened in the last two days and now that he finally was left alone with his thoughts and feelings, the sounds of beeping machines and you sleeping painlessly, everything came crashing down on him.
It properly dawned on him that the three of you had been kidnapped, you’d been hurt and hurt time after time. He was left to fight and get you back home and he’d been so close. For a while, Jay thought everything was done and he did it but then, but then Will happened.
Jay harshly wiped away the tears on his cheek, his eyes catching sight of his bandaged knuckles and the IV in his left hand that he was itching to remove but then a voice sounding like Will warned him against doing so.
Ethan did an x-ray on him, stitching his bullet wound and thoroughly wrapping it. He plucked several butterfly stripes and many cotton swabs to get rid of any and all blood stains. All in all, Jay would be off work for a few weeks, maybe some physio depending on how his leg felt but he was in pretty decent shape given the circumstances.
Jay bitterly laughed, shaking his head at the thought that he was expecting to have a full recovering with barely any long-lasting damage. He hated to admit it aloud, but this was going to stay with him forever, there was no way he was ever going to get rid of your gut-wrenching screams, they were forever engraved into his mind.
And well, if Jay didn’t see Will at least arrive at Med, then nothing was ever going to be the same again.
And so, what if Jay cried himself to sleep in the chair at his sister's bedside, at perhaps his only sibling's side.
Jay drowned out his thoughts as he sobbed, hand curling around his mouth to muffle his cries as not to alert anyone of his emotional state. But, when Maggie walks in later to find the two younger Halstead’s gone to the world, she pretends not to see the tear tracks staining Jay’s cheeks.
Series Masterlist:
@mads-weasley @sowrongitslottie @elite4cekalyma @senjoritanana @hufflepuff-blackwidow @mrspeacem1nusone @kmc1989 @goth-cowgirl-03 @daggersquadphantom @photographerkaiya0306 @jamie0515 @samanthavitale @iamasimpingh0e @lanea-1 @swidkid
#one chicago x reader#one chicago imagine#jay halstead x reader#onechicago#chicago fire#chicago med#chicago pd#will halstead x reader#halstead sister#halstead brothers#kelly severide x reader#jay halstead x sister!reader#will halstead x sister!reader
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ghostin
chapter two: year one
read chapter one here
this chapter is short, but we're going by years. so this chapter is year one after the blip. next one is year two.
Year One
Every day feels like a war inside your mind. Constantly trying to figure out why this happened, why so many people had to perish. Why is the world so cruel?
Just when you let yourself jump and fall in love, let your walls down, bring your emotions and baggage to the forefront, he disappears.
New York is in disarray after the blip. Wilson Fisk has taken the position of mayor for the time being, which Matthew would hate. He would also hate who you are right now. You took a job under Fisk to take out any of his enemies and make sure the city is set for him to take over. Your nights are filled with fighting and watching people you've never met lose their soul to Fisk's wants.
Every night you return to Matt's apartment, running your hand over his side of the bed. His smell is almost gone from the sheets. The coffee stain is still on the floor along with the pieces of the cup. You refused to pick it up or disturb the pieces.
The world's heroes, 'The Avengers' haven't done shit about the blip. From what you heard when you were perched on a rooftop, a monster named Thanos initiated the blip and got rid of half of the universe. You watch Steve Rogers constantly try to reassure the city that they will fix this.
"Tch." You suck your teeth as you watch Captain America try to console New Yorkers. "You will never understand what we're feeling." You turn your head, trying to reverse the tears that are flowing out of your eye. Sometimes you feel like this is all a cruel nightmare and that Matt will come back any moment.
Every morning is torture. His touch, his smell, his voice, everything is gone. You think about his laugh every single day to make sure you don't forget the beautiful sound. You can't bring yourself to sleep anywhere other than his bed.
You try to put up a facade that everything is okay. That you're okay. Foggy calls you every now and then, checking in on you. If it wasn't for him, no one else would.
"Hey, Fog." You press the phone to your shoulder.
"It's been exactly a year since the blip." Foggy's voice was shakey. "I thought they would've fixed this by now."
You shake your head. The hope Foggy has in the Avengers is admirable, but you are quite pessimistic about the whole thing. "Tony Stark has gone into hiding basically with his wife, and he's the smarts of that team. I don't know."
"Damnit Stark." Foggy says. "How are you, though?"
"You know the answer to that." You look down at your black combat boots as the New York wind flows through your hair. "I'm the same as I was when I watched Matt evaporate."
"Hey, it's gonna work out." Foggy tried to reassure you. "I believe theres still good in this world."
"I admire you for that, Foggy. But right now every day feels like constant torture without him."
Foggy doesn't know you're working for Fisk. He thinks you're taking odd jobs to keep yourself afloat. He would be so disappointed in you and say Matt would hate what you're doing.
Matt would.
But Matt's not here.
No one is here.
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#matt murdock#daredevil#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil fanfic#marvel#marvel mcu#the blip
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Afraid- Ellie Williams (1)
Afraid- Ellie Williams (Part 1)
PART 2 -> PART 3
Backround infos you need (THIS CONTAINS TLOU 2 SPOILERS!): This takes place after Joel died, and Ellie´s revenge already started. Dina and Ellie never had a thing going on, they are just good friends, and Jesse is still alive. Still- Ellie doesn´t have contact with them- since they did not accept her leaving. (Dina and Jesse are not a couple though)- also the reader aka your perspective is described as she/her but there is no use of Y/N!
A/N: This will be a series! I hope you enjoy Part 1, and I´m terribly sorry if something doesn´t make sense, English isn´t my first language! Tell me what you think and help me to let more people see this! Enjoy now...
Chapter warnings: Mention(s) of death, mention(s) of guns/shooting, overall it can be brutal,... I think that´s it?
It was dark outside. Through the broken window I could look a bit into the distance, but without any new discovery. Never did I, or anyone, think the world would end like this. Shattered, possessed, and above all: controlled. It is difficult to explain how the world was before. I, myself, do not know. This has always been the way life goes for me, this is how it began, this is how it ends. In the midst of an apocalypse that finds no end.
I decided to get out of "my" bed. It was probably midnight, but I didn't care. As I crawled out from under the covers, I felt goosebumps brush over my body. Stupid broken window. I hated it here. I don't know about the other QZs, but I hope for everyone's sake it's better than here. Vancouver. I was born here, I live here, and I will die here. I've never seen anything else. If someone asked me now what my greatest wish is, I would probably say to finally get out of this shithole. I'm sitting here, living in a small apartment. Not mine, but my friend's. He's always working… and is almost never around. Work is also one of those messy things here…. I think FEDRA has and never had anything under control. Anyway, I got up and put on shoes. Also my dark gray jacket, the only one I own.
Just as I was about to go into the kitchen (which can't even be called a kitchen, it's way too small for that), I heard a loud scream. I quickly ran back to the (broken) window and looked out. Down on the street people were shooting. Probably the fireflies. Ironic, isn't it? I actually had hopes of becoming a part of them once. Just to get out of here.
"Turn around right fucking now." An unknown voice. I turned around and looked into the eyes of a tall brunette girl. She had a tattoo on her forearm and a gun between her hands. "I really don't want to hurt you, but I need you to tell me where your dear friend Liam is." Her words sounded harmless, however the tone of her voice could tell me that she wouldn't hesitate for a second to kill me. I took a deep breath, I didn't want to die yet despite the circumstances. "He's working," I said dryly. This answer apparently didn't please the girl at all, because she came a few steps closer. "Stupid. Who do you think he is working for right now? At this hour? For FEDRA? They're busy enough taming the fireflies." Oh. Kind of makes sense. "FEDRA doesn't care about annoying 20-year-old men who want food. So, tell me, where is he? I still have a bullet, believe me."
Automatically, I took a step back. "Leave me out of this. I hardly ever see him, I just live in an apartment with him- I don't know anything." I didn't like this situation at all. "Get on your knees," the girl said, and I obeyed- not ready to take a bullet. I knelt on the cold floor and felt goosebumps rise again, but probably it was the whole position I was in that scared me. So helpless and close to death. Yes, I wanted excitement in my life, but not like this….
"And now you listen to me. Your friend, or whatever, is working for someone who killed a person who was very important to me. So maybe if you do want to tell the truth, now is the last chance to do it." I stared up into her eyes. Her whole stature looked so frightening in the darkness. I could tell by the look in her face that she did this every day. Not sneaking up on random girls in apartments, no, killing people. Maybe she had already killed 20. Or hundreds. Or thousands… "Now fucking say something!" she screamed as she pulled on the gun to load it. Shit. I swallowed. Now I had to act smart.
Suddenly the wooden floor creaked. Steps. "What the-" Both mine and the girl's eyes darted to the door. Liam. Fuck. The brown-haired girl in front of me didn't hesitate and shot him. I saw the bullet go through his left shoulder and blood gush out of him. "NO!", I screamed. I quickly ran over to him and knelt down. "It had to be done." She wanted to leave. She pushed past and wanted to leave. No. Quickly I ran after her and grabbed her. "No. You can't barge in here and scare me to death and kill my only friend!", I cried. The tears were just running down my cheeks now. "I don't have anyone else! No one. What am I supposed to do now? You took away the only thing I had, and I thought that's how you felt, too?"
Ellie Williams POV I looked down at her, since she was quite a bit smaller than me. Pain was in her eyes…what had I done. Killing people- for Joel- had been easy. At least until now. But this time was different. I saw a girl standing in front of me who had lost the most important person in her life - just like I once had. "No." I- I was no better than Abby. "I'm- I didn't know-", I tried to continue, but I was interrupted. "Would it have made any difference if you had known? You're a murderer!" Ouch. "Believe me, whoever is the person you lost, I don't think he or she would have wanted you to be like this. You're a monster." Now I couldn't hold back my tears either. I was standing here, in a strange girl's hallway, and I was crying. Not very Ellie of me.
Reader POV Wow. I had managed to make a murderer cry. That was definitely not on my checklist. I turned around and walked back to Liam. His eyes were staring off into nowhere. We almost never talked, yet he had been important to me. Taking in a stranger just like that, as a roommate and friend, was certainly not a normal thing. I wiped the last tears from my face before simply accepting it. Sure, this may seem mean… like "Why is she getting over it so quickly?" Well… when you're used to losing everyone, eventually it doesn't surprise you anymore. Of course, the grief will always be there, but it becomes easier and easier to suppress it. I couldn't turn around and look at the girl. I couldn't. "I don't think we'll ever see each other again, and that's just fine. I don't want to see you anymore. Look, I don't even know your name. Forgive? I won't- I don't want to, but I'm going to try anyway. You don't deserve it, but I don't know your exact history. Which doesn't justify what you did, but maybe I just don't understand you. Now just go, FEDRA will be here soon, they must have heard the shot."
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#tlou#tlou spoilers#tlou x reader#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#fanfic#the last of us#last of us#fireflies#fanfiction#writerscommunity#abby tlou2#the last of us 2#popular#lgbtq#wxw#wlw#sapphic
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There Was Heaven In Your Eyes
Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)
Word Count: 3358
Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Threats of Non-Con, Threats of Violence
Notes: Here’s the first official chapter! Thank you for all the feedback so far. Javi isn’t in the next two chapters as much, but we’ll get there. Also in case anyone missed the tags, the reader is plus sized. She is mentioned as having curves, and later on there is discussion about her weight and clothing issues and whatnot. Other than that the only description of her is that she is female presenting.
Masterlist
Chapter 1
Two Years Earlier
“Fuck,” I groaned, pressing my fingers to my temples.
I had been searching for teaching jobs everywhere, and I meant everywhere. My hands were shaking as I struggled to sort through the piles of ads on my kitchen table, while I tried not to let the mix of sweat and fear bother me while it stuck my hair to the nape of my neck. At that point I didn’t care where I worked as long as I could get out of Canada. Fast.
The idea of starting over scared the shit out of me, but it had to be done. I had worked so hard to climb the financial ladder in order to get to the top of my position, which was huge for a woman in my field, and I had married a wonderful man. My future was laid out for me and wrapped with a shiny bow. Until…
I shook my head and resumed searching, as there was no point strolling down memory lane thinking about what could have been. I had to think about what was going to be.
Finally my eyes landed on an ad.
‘Wanted: Teachers with any experience, preferably English speaking.’
“Any experience?” I thought aloud as my eyes further down the page.
It was short, but sweet. Due to political tensions there was a lack of teachers in Colombia, so they had begun looking elsewhere. The one that specified English speaking ones happened to be in a place called Bogotà. I hadn’t really heard of that place before, but I kept my eye on the news enough to know what they meant by political tensions in Colombia. Everybody knew what they meant.
I didn’t have much time to weigh the pros and cons, and instead rushed to my room to pack my life into the only two suitcases I owned before I could rush off to the airport. I couldn’t seem to fully breathe until I was seated and the airplane finally took off toward my new life. It was a long flight, but I welcomed the newfound safe space where I could finally close my eyes and rest for the first time in what felt like forever.
With my newspaper in hand and my luggage tucked away in a seedy motel, I marched up to the front doors of where I hoped would be my safe haven. Turns out the school wanted to know even less about me than I had been comfortable telling them. They just wanted someone who could keep their head down, remain non judgemental toward the students and their parents, and could do their best when teaching a new language while trying to learn theirs.
It sounded too good to be true, but I couldn’t afford to turn back. I sealed my fate that morning and went about the rest of the day finding a cheap apartment that was within walking distance to my new job.
Within a few months I had started feeling more and more comfortable with my new role as an English teacher in a school that needed discretion and hope more than I did. Many of the parents were involved in situations that I didn’t even want to begin to think about, but their children got to escape and be with their friends while in my care. The only childcare experience I had previous was babysitting my younger sister's children. She was my only family after our parents had died in our teens, but unfortunately life had gotten too busy and outside forces prevented me from seeing her much. It had been at least three years since the last time we had spoken.
My heart ached when I would recognize my nieces faces in the joy and sorrow of my students, but I poured what love I could offer into them and helped them as much as I could.
One of the children in my class had a father who only showed up every once in a while, but the rumours that had spread throughout the faculty were terrifying. He seemed non-threatening, just a little too comfortable talking to the teachers, including myself, at a very close range. Personal space clearly wasn’t his thing, but apparently working for the cartel was. There were whispers that he was one of the higher ups, but I tried to keep my head down and focus on just getting by.
Until one day when he came to pick up his son. He was acting particularly flighty, his eyes shifting every which way. I usually got the chance to tell him how his son had been doing in school, even though I wasn’t sure he fully understood English, but that day he barely said hello. Almost as soon as his car sped off another vehicle pulled up just outside the front doors of the school.
From my classroom windows I could see two men getting out and making their way inside. One was a tall blonde, who looked like he came straight from the states, considering he stuck out like a sore thumb. The other was also tall, though didn’t look it next to his partner, but he definitely fit in more with the locals with his dark brown mop and matching mustache nestled above his plush lips. As they walked through the doors it was hard not to let my eyes linger down the second man’s loose button up that was tucked deliciously into jeans that fit him like a goddamn glove. I definitely didn’t miss the flash of a gun that was held snugly into the back of his pants.
I shook my head the second the door closed behind them, and made my way back to the front of my classroom. I felt ridiculous practically drooling over another man especially after everything that happened, but I just couldn’t help it. Just as I had my thoughts gathered there was a knock at the door. I turned my head and standing in the doorway was the second man I was trying to forget.
“Perdón por la interrupción, Señorita.” (Sorry for the interruption). The mustache was even more impressive up close, as were his lips, and his deep chocolate eyes that I felt could see right through me.
“Lo siento, no hablo español,” I muttered. (I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish). I was used to the phrase by now, even though I had picked up some of the language by now I certainly wasn’t anywhere near fluent. But even with this practiced sentence I felt as though my tongue was too thick to wrap around the letters, especially after watching the way his lips formed around each word. My knees felt weak, and not just because of the badge he held in his hand.
“Of course, my apologies,” he said, his voice smooth like hard liquor, with a hint of smoke and gravel, I was almost waiting for the bite. He held up his badge so I could see he was official. “Agent Javier Peña, DEA.”
I felt a weight I didn’t know I was carrying melt off of my shoulders. Drug Enforcement, which meant he wasn’t here for me. At least not in the way I was worried about.
“I’m wondering if you could confirm whether a certain student is in your classroom,” he spoke so gently I felt comforted, but I wasn’t going to give in.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give that information away.”
He smiled and leaned against the doorway, bringing his head down closer to me. At the nearly intimate movement I could feel a heat creeping up my chest that I knew would blossom into a blush. He knew what he was doing.
“Please, Miss, call me Javi.” I was almost expecting a wink to punctuate his sentence.
“Well, Agent,” I bit back, “I cannot give any information about these students to anybody who isn’t their caregivers.”
I didn’t want to be on this guy's bad side, but I also wanted to keep both the children safe and my job. They weren’t just pawns in the ugly game their parents and government were playing. It was rare that my students had a voice speaking up for them, an advocate for them. When I signed up for the job I was signing up to be just that.
He nodded and dragged his eyes down my body before snapping back up. His jaw was working with frustration over my refusal to back down, but he finally stood back up to his full height.
“Alright then,” he spoke firmly, but still gentle enough that I knew he was more frustrated than angry. “Have a good day.”
He turned to walk away but not before pausing and reaching into his pocket. In between his fingers was a thick card, which he then held out to me. I took the card with his full name stamped along the top, and what I assumed was his number printed along the middle. Even though I had grabbed onto the card he still held it firmly in his fingers, causing me to look up and once again be lost in his dark eyes.
“If you need anything, ever, please do not hesitate to call.”
I bit my lip and nodded. I didn’t miss the way his eyes left mine for a split second to glance at my lips before returning. He nodded back and left. I finally took a deep breath, feeling the stretch of my lungs inflating fully for the first time since I laid eyes on the man.
I returned to my desk and sat down to finish up marking while the remaining students continued their steady chatter while they awaited their parents. The card felt heavy in my hands, but I knew it wasn’t because of the actual weight of the paper. I reached over to the garbage can but hesitated, wondering if it really was the smartest idea to throw away what might be my one lifeline. Almost as if I could sense his eyes on me I looked out the window and saw him watching my classroom before climbing into the passenger seat of his vehicle. With that last glance of Agent Javier Peña I decided better and took out my wallet. I folded his card up as small as I could and tucked it away. I hoped I would never have to call that number, but something told me I couldn’t get rid of it yet.
That evening as I was leaving work I realized I didn’t have a lot of groceries at home. Unfortunately that meant I had to stop at the market, even though it was later than I had wanted. I took too long marking and ended up doing some more stuff around the classroom than I usually get the time to do, but that meant I got carried away. By the time I left there was only one other car in the parking lot other than mine. Everyone else had gone home, I assumed the other car belonged to one of the cleaning staff.
The market was pretty empty, only a few other shoppers moved around with glazed over eyes clearly exhausted from their workday. I absentmindedly threw ingredients into my cart that were easy to prepare quickly that night. I was too exhausted to even think about putting effort into a full meal, grateful that at least the weekend was in a few days.
All of a sudden a cart bumped against mine. I went to apologize even though it wasn’t my fault, but the words died in my throat when I saw who the person was.
“Hola.” The father of one of my students, Luis, the one in the cartel, stood barricading my cart against the shelves in the aisle. His smile was slimy, almost oozing against his face. I didn’t trust him one bit.
“Hi, sorry, I didn’t see you there,” I said, flustered. I tried to move back to get away but he stepped forward with me. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
“Where do you think you’re going?” His smile grew bigger, taunting.
I shook my head and stepped away from my cart. He stepped to the side of his and pulled back his shirt enough to reveal a gun nestled into the front of his jeans. My hands started to tremble and I found I couldn’t focus on anything but the hint of metal in front of me. He nodded his head toward the exit, and I found myself following him without a second thought, leaving my cart abandoned in the aisle.
He led me out to a car in the parking lot that I recognized immediately as the one that had been at the school when I left. I mentally kicked myself for not recognizing it before, but it was too common of a car to have pinpointed exactly who the owner was, especially since I hadn’t seen anyone inside of it.
I was shoved into the backseat before I had time to think about what was going to happen to me. Luis slid into the driver's seat and took off, tires squealing against the road and into the night. I sat up and tried to get my wits about me, but the sound of a gun cocking drew my attention back to the driver.
“Keep your head down and your mouth shut, mi amor,” he spoke harshly, the nickname making my stomach turn. “Eres toda mía.” (You’re all mine)
I did as I was told, but considered whether getting shot would really be the worst thing, especially compared to whatever he had in store for me. Before I could come to a final decision the car lurched onto a dirt road, away from any street lights or other cars. We were truly going to be alone.
Tears sprang to my eyes but I refused to let him see me cry. It was obvious I was helpless and doomed to whatever fate he had in store for me, but I wouldn’t let him see any amount of weakness. I would become a fortress if I could not fight.
The car finally came to a stop and Luis jumped out, running to get to my door. He threw it open and wrenched my arm out, pulling the rest of me to the ground. My skin stung where it made contact with the rough surface, but he had pulled me to my feet before I could think about it any further.
Before us laid a house that was not modest in the slightest. I had to wonder who it belonged to, considering he would probably wear nicer clothes if he could afford a mansion.
“Vamos mi amor,” he snarled, still tugging me along by my wrist, his grip bruising.
My heart was beating in my ears and I couldn’t feel my legs as they carried me closer and closer to the large wooden doors ahead of us. When we got there Luis pushed the doors open with a bang, startling the men behind them. They turned to us, raising their guns before sighing and lowering them once more.
“Oh, Luis, hija de puta,” one of the men said. (Son of a bitch/whore).
Another stepped over and looked at me. I struggled to keep my head held high under his examination and Luis' powerful grip.
“El Patrón no le gustarà está,” he snarled. (The Boss won’t like this.) “¿Dónde encontraste éste?” (Where did you find this one?)
Luis gripped my arm even tighter, in a punishing amount of strength.
“¿Por qué?¿Estás celoso?” He sneered and pulled me off to the side, toward an open door leading into a dark room. (Why? Are you jealous?)
In the middle of the room was a small bed that clearly had only been used for what I was assuming he wanted to do with me. He threw me onto it, the mattress so thin I could feel the springs under my body, and then he slammed the door. I could no longer hear anybody on the other side.
“Finally, it’s just you and me,” he nearly slurred. His accent was thick as he punched out each word. He climbed onto the bed and over me, pinning my wrists above my head. My nose wrinkled automatically as his pungent smell of body odour and bad breath invaded my senses. “Do you know how bad I’ve wanted this? To touch these curves?”
I was surprised by how strong he was as he held my wrists in one hand and stroked his other hand over my waist. I twisted my body, trying to get away but his hold was like iron.
“You don’t get to get away, I’ve worked hard for this,” he growled and slapped my cheek causing my head to turn sharply toward the thin pillow it rested on. I gasped in shock, my body suddenly going pliant. “Stay still, puta!”
The next thing I heard was the drag of his zipper as a tear slid down my cheek, and then the door busted open causing us both to jump. A gunshot rang through my ears before I felt a thick, warm liquid drip onto my face. My eyes had squeezed shut and refused to open while my whole body shook in fear.
I felt lighter once the body that had been pinning me down had dropped to the side, then onto the floor with a wet smack. I couldn’t stop shaking even then, still not opening my eyes. My breaths were ragged, ripping through my throat and getting caught in choked sobs that I couldn’t hold back any longer.
A hand landed gentle and warm on my cheek.
“Abre los ojos. Open your eyes.” The voice that spoke was unfamiliar, and surprisingly gentle. I obeyed and immediately felt a new flood of fear. I recognized the man, the monster, that knelt beside me stroking my cheek.
Pablo Escobar.
I remember seeing pictures of him in the paper and on my television before moving to Bogotà, and then seeing his face on almost everything else after. Then, he was right in front of my face.
I scrambled to the edge of the bed, trying to put distance between us, ignoring the dead body that was still lying on the floor.
“No hay que tener miedo,” his voice was rough, and rumbled through the room.
“He says there’s no need to be afraid,” another voice, higher and not as threatening, came from the corner of the room. One of the men who had been standing by the front door was still holding his gun, keeping his eyes on Pablo.
Pablo smiled at me, but I didn’t believe him. There were many reasons to be afraid, one of them was still warm and lying on the floor.
“Siento que este idiota te haya traído aquí,” he said looking in the direction of Luis.
“He’s sorry this idiot brought you here,” his translator said.
“¿Que hago contigo?” He looked at me once more, almost waiting for my reply to his question. (What do I do with you?)
I furrowed my brows and looked to the man in the corner.
“He’s unsure about what to do. Luis didn’t follow protocol. One of our lookouts could see that you were in the backseat without a blindfold, meaning you know where this place is.” He took a step toward me, his gun still held tightly. “You’re a liability.”
I shook my head frantically. “N-no I promise I won’t tell anybody, I didn’t really see much. I was too scared and it’s nighttime and I’m new here.” I could feel myself growing more and more hysterical.
Pablo reached down to the floor and lifted up my purse. It must have fallen when I was pushed onto the bed but I hadn’t even noticed. He handed it over to me.
“I heard you’re a good teacher,” he said, hesitating over a few words.
I nodded.
“Tal vez hay un uso para usted después de todo,” he smiled.
(Perhaps there’s a use for you after all.)
#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena x reader#javi pena x reader#javier peña#javier pena x plus size reader#plus size reader
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None Shall Sleep
Summary: Bucky comes to the aid of his neighbour one night when he hears her crying after breaking something in her apartment.
Length: 5 K
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, named but not described OFC, minor OFC, Pepper Stark.
Warnings: Description of eye surgery (personal experience), trust issues, Bucky feeling inadequate, health insurance company assholes.
Author notes: Inspired by this video of a tenor who sang Nessun Dorma (from the opera Turandot) accompanied by a flash mob orchestra in a German bookstore. The video showed up on my FB feed but I’ve always loved this piece, as it’s full of passion. My description of the opera is taken from the internet. https://fb.watch/pE60YHrtsM/? I’ve been to one opera in my life (La Boheme) which I enjoyed. Bucky is a big softy in this one shot which ends very romantically.
👁️ 🎶 🌖
Sam carried the last box into Bucky's new Brooklyn apartment, taking note of the high ceilings and windows this place had, compared to his old place, the small studio apartment. With the settlement for his back pay, and damages for what had been done to him awarded from the now unfrozen assets of Alexander Pierce and several other high ranking HYDRA officials, James Buchanan Barnes was finally in a position to live in a manner that he deserved. Buying this apartment was the start of his new beginning. He also had plans to take some college courses so that he could prepare for a life that didn't involve using just his physical attributes.
"This is really nice, Bucky," he said, as his friend came out of the bathroom with an empty box, pulling the tape off the bottom so he could flatten it. "Pepper found this place for you?"
He looked around. "Yeah, it is nice. Still has enough of the old features like hardwood floors and finishes, vintage claw foot tub in the master ensuite bathroom, mosaic floor tiles in both bathrooms. Feels familiar but it's mostly modern so it should last a long time. Not sure how the other owners feel about me living here but no one's said anything yet."
"Why would they?" Bucky scowled without answering. "Hey, your money is as good as theirs. You're quiet, you're not a criminal, and honestly, it will likely make criminals think twice about trying to break in. I'm sure you'll be attuned to everyone's coming and goings pretty quickly."
"You calling me a busybody?"
At least he said it with a grin. It was true. His bad sleeping habits meant he was often awake at night, watching out the window for anything out of the ordinary. Knowing his neighbour's habits came easily to him but wasn't always understood or appreciated by them. Still, his previous landlord and Pepper Stark wrote character references for him when he first applied to buy in the building.
A week later he had met several neighbours, finding most of them quite nice. It surprised him on the one night when he heard crying from his nearest neighbour's apartment, a woman he hadn't met yet. At first, he listened carefully for any sounds of fighting or abuse, but it sounded more like frustration than anything else. Then he heard the sounds of something breaking and jumped out of bed. Approaching her door, he listened carefully again then knocked before speaking.
"Hello? Is everything alright? I heard the sound of something breaking."
He could hear the sounds of someone approaching the door.
"Who are you?" Her voice sounded both anxious and upset.
"Bucky Barnes. I just moved in next door. I could hear you crying but tonight sounded like you broke something. I can help."
"Fuck." He could barely hear her swear. "Hope he's not an asshole."
With the sound of her locating the locks and turning them, he waited, only to be surprised by the sight of a woman with both eyes heavily bandaged.
"I'm sorry if I woke you," she said, extending her hand outwards, not quite in the right direction. "As you can see I have temporarily lost my sight. I'm supposed to have someone to help me but they haven't showed up for the past two nights and that's left me trying to fend for myself."
He took her hand gently in his, squeezing it then releasing it.
"Well, I'm here and I can help you if you wish."
"I know I broke something, and I stepped on it." She lifted one foot, that seemed cut open. Spreading her hands helplessly, she began to cry again. "Could you just help me?"
"I'm going to pick you up and carry you to the bathroom," replied Bucky. "You have cut your foot. I can take care of bandaging that. Then I'll clean up what you broke. After that, we'll see what more I can do for you, okay?"
She allowed him to pick her up in his arms, carrying her into her bathroom, where he placed her on the counter. Returning to his place for his first aid kit, since she only had a kit of bandages for her eyes, he gently cleaned her foot in the sink, then checked the wound for any pieces of the broken glass.
"What's your name?" he asked, as he applied some antiseptic to it.
"Roberta," she replied.
"That's a pretty name," he smiled. "How long have you lived here?"
"About a year. I sublet from the owner. You just moved in?"
"Yeah, a week ago. If it's not too personal, may I ask about your eyes?"
She lowered her head. "I was mugged, hit my head pretty hard on the pavement. It gave me a concussion and partially detached the retinas in both eyes, so I had to have surgery to fix them. It sounds kind of gruesome, but they had to empty the eyeball of the vitreous gel to do it, then used a laser to seal the tears, and then a bubble of gas to reinflate the eye was inserted to keep the retina in place. As the gas is absorbed into the body, the eye replaces the gel with new liquid, but it takes about six weeks for it to heal properly. This past week I had to sleep on my stomach at the hospital, face down so that the bubble stayed at the back of the eyeball and kept the retina from detaching again. I had an aide to help me at night for the first two nights when I was released, to make sure I didn't flip over onto my back, but she didn't show up last night or tonight. Since I can't see, I can't call my insurance company to find out what happened to her and the woman they got for the daytime doesn't speak much English. She just cooks and cleans for me."
He listened, fascinated by the medical process that would restore her vision, knowing that during the 1930s the success rate for repairing that was abysmal.
"When were your eye dressings last changed?"
"Two nights ago," answered Roberta. "I was trying to do it myself because it felt gross, but I knocked something over and it broke." She lowered her head as if she was looking at the floor. "I just feel so helpless. I'm sorry I woke you up."
Once again, he took her hand in his.
"I'm a lousy sleeper and was already awake. You stay here while I clean up then I'll see if I can help change your dressings. Is that okay?"
She nodded, waiting patiently for her neighbour to return. At least he sounded nice. Bucky wasn't a common name, perhaps it was a nickname. Carefully, she listened as she heard him sweep a broom over the floor and into a dustpan. The running of water was followed by the sound of a cloth being wiped over the floor, presumably to clean up the blood from the cut in her foot. Then she heard the sound of footsteps approaching.
"Just me," he said, before he entered. "Everything's cleaned up out there. Now, how do I take care of your eyes?"
She told him to boil some water first and let it cool, then add a little salt to help with cleaning. He left coming back a few minutes later. He washed his hands, then unwrapped the larger bandage which released the plastic eye shields that protected her eyes. Under them were gauze pads, which he carefully peeled off. All she saw was the light of the bathroom, and the bubble of gas inside her eyes which kept her repaired retinas in place. Everything else was blurred or distorted.
"It's pretty red," said Bucky, his face close enough to hers for her to smell his aftershave. "Is that normal?"
"Well, it's pretty invasive eye surgery so I guess it is. If you could take some clean gauze and dip it in the boiled water, as long as it's not too hot, you can clean the guck off, gently."
Patiently, she waited as he did as he was told, slightly surprised at how gently he cleansed her damaged eyes. She noticed the sound of whirring and that one of his hands was warm and the other cold, which she brought up.
"I have a prosthetic arm and hand," he explained, hesitantly at first. "It's a very high tech one. I'm kind of the only person in the world with one like it. It functions almost like normal, but they can't make it feel warm, or mask all the sounds it makes. I'm thankful for it but I worry about how people see it."
Roberta smiled. "Good thing I could only hear it and feel it then," she said. "Although, I bet it's impressive looking. Is it a prototype?"
"I guess," he admitted, then she was aware his face was further away. "Okay, that looks better. What's next?"
"There's a tube of ointment," said Roberta. "If you pull the lower eyelid out, you can squeeze a small portion into each one and distribute it a bit. That's to heal the incisions." She waited while he did it. "Okay, new gauze to cover my eyes, then the shields over top. Just check that the shields are clean. They can be cleaned with soap and water if they have anything on them."
She smiled as she heard the sound of water, assuming that the shields needed cleaning. Then they were placed over her eyes, and she held them in place as Bucky wrapped the bandages around her head to keep them there. By his silence, other than his breathing which seemed to shift slightly as if he was moving his head, Roberta assumed he was checking his handiwork.
"How is that?" he asked.
"Feels great," she answered. "Thank you."
"Is there anything else I can do for you? I'm guessing anything involving the eyes are out."
"I wouldn't mind listening to some music," she answered. "My phone is around here somewhere. If you could open the playlists, I could choose one. You're welcome to stay if you're not sleepy."
She felt his warm arm circle around her waist as he helped her off the vanity, then he placed her hand on his arm as he led her out to the living room, telling her when they were a couple of steps away from the couch. He joined her a moment later, as he placed her phone in her hand.
"Needs to be unlocked."
"Oh, it's set to Face ID which won't work with these bandages. If I give you the code, do you promise not to go snooping?"
"Scout's honour." She could just feel the smile from him.
After giving him the code she waited while he opened her playlists, then he began listing them off. When he got to her guilty pleasure one of opera, she told him to choose that.
"I'm a bit weird, I know," she joked. "Not many people my age like opera but it was something my dad and I would do every time the Met put on a new one. We always had discount tickets, would go for dinner, then to the opera. Dad loved it and it was time well spent with him before he died."
"I'm sorry. You must miss him."
"I do. He died of cancer just five years ago."
The sounds of La Traviata came on and he smiled as she relaxed, slightly leaning into him. She quickly told him the plot of the opera and encouraged him to close his eyes and lose himself in the singing. There were several other arias from other pieces that played then another came up and she straightened a bit.
"This is one of my favourites," she said. "It's called Nessun Dorma, from Turandot. A disguised prince falls in love with a princess who is indifferent to him. To win her hand a suitor must solve three riddles, but if he gets any of them wrong, then he will be executed. The prince succeeds but she still refuses him, so he challenges her to guess his real name, which would allow her to put him to death. If she doesn't then she must marry him."
"Does she?" asked Bucky.
"That's the mystery behind this opera," said Roberta. "The composer, Puccini, didn't finish it as he died, so no one really knows if he meant this to have a happy ending or a tragic ending. This piece, Nessun Dorma, means none shall sleep, as the princess commands everyone to put aside sleep and find out the prince's real name. Whether she found out and chose to reveal it or not is one of the great mysteries of Turandot. Both endings have been used, written by other composers."
He listened with her, finding it a stirring piece of music. As they listened to several more, he became aware of her breathing becoming deeper and more regular. Roberta had fallen asleep. Gently, he extracted himself from beside her then remembered what she said about sleeping with her repaired eyes. Going to the linen closet he pulled out some towels and rolled them into position on her bed, to surround her face, keeping it off the surface of the sheets. Then he returned to the couch and gently lifted her into his arms. She whimpered a little and buried her face in his chest.
"You smell good," she whispered, sleepily. "I like it."
"Thank you," he whispered back.
Gently, he positioned her face down, making sure that she was set in a way that was comfortable but allowed her to breathe. Then he covered her up with her bedcovers and turned off the light. Returning to his apartment, he laid on the couch, falling asleep until the morning.
Knowing that Roberta wanted to phone the insurance company about the aide not showing up, Bucky woke up early then listened carefully to any signs of the young woman getting up. When she did, he went over and knocked on the door, waiting as she approached. Instead, it was another woman who opened it and he looked at her a little surprised. She spoke Spanish, identifying herself as Maria, the daytime helper who cooked for Miss Roberta. Addressing her in Spanish, Bucky identified himself, waiting while she checked with Roberta before she let him in.
"I thought you might want me to help phone the insurance company," he said when she came out of the kitchen. "Find out what happened to your night-time aide. I also speak Spanish if you want me to tell Maria anything."
"Yes please, to both," said Roberta. "Thank you for putting me to bed last night. I actually had a good sleep because of how you arranged the towels. How did you know how to do it?"
He shook his head. "Just seemed right."
She gave some instructions for Maria, which he passed on, then dialled her insurance company for her, placing the phone on speaker so she could talk to the agent. When she told them the aide hadn't shown up for two nights they disputed her account, saying the woman had clocked in. Bucky frowned as he listened then asked if he could speak.
"Hi, I'm Roberta's neighbour," he started. "I can't say about Monday, but your aide was definitely not here last night because I heard Roberta crying after she broke something and cut her foot open. I looked after her, cleaning her eyes and changing her dressing. She wouldn't be phoning to complain if your employee actually showed up, don't you think?"
"Well, our employees are very professional and whose to say that you aren't lying on behalf of Miss Paxton?" said the woman on the other end.
Roberta's face reddened when she heard that, and Bucky felt his own irritation grow at the insinuation.
"Well, why don't I give you the name of someone to verify my identity," he said. "If you would be so kind to contact Pepper Stark at Stark Industries, I'm sure she can vouch for me."
"Your name, sir?"
"Bucky Barnes, currently one of the Avengers. My full name is James Buchanan Barnes."
There was no sound from the insurance agent for a moment. Then there was a little cough, and she came back on.
"I will make that call and get back to you, Mr. Barnes," she said. "Will you be at this number?"
"Yes, I'm not going anywhere."
He hung up and placed the phone on the table. There was silence between them until Roberta extended her hand towards him. Gently, he took it and held it.
"You're really him? I didn't quite hear your last name when you came in last night."
"Yeah, I'm him, the former Winter Soldier. Once we get this cleared up, I won't come around anymore, if my presence makes you uncomfortable."
"No, I mean, I would like it if you came over. I enjoyed your company. You were kind to me and let me talk about opera and never once interrupted. That's more than most men have ...."
She coughed, then began to cry and Bucky reached into his pocket for his handkerchief, then looked at it, realizing her eyes were still bandaged. Maria looked at him, whispering in Spanish that perhaps an arm around the young woman would be acceptable. With a slight smile to her he did just that and pulled Roberta close.
"I'm sorry. I'm kind of predisposed to being rejected and kind of jumped the gun on your reaction to who I was."
His phone rang and he fished it out of his pocket, seeing that it was Pepper. He explained to her why the insurance company was calling, smiling as she expressed dismay that they would leave a woman without home care when she was basically helpless because she couldn't see.
"If they don't send anyone, I'm happy to help her," he said to Pepper. "Roberta is very nice, and we got along just fine."
"Well, if they don't send someone, or if no one comes, you let me know, and I'll hire a small team myself to help her out."
He passed on the message to Roberta, who thanked Pepper profusely, then hung up, expecting to receive a call from the insurance company. When it still didn't come an hour later, they phoned again, were put on hold then the call was dropped. At that time, Maria came out of the kitchen with her phone, looking like she had bad news. With a halting voice, she told Bucky she was laid off, as Miss Paxton's insurance policy had been cancelled. Worriedly, she looked between Bucky and Roberta.
"Hold on, Maria," he said in Spanish. "You won't be laid off, I promise. Wait with Miss Paxton while I make another call."
After telling Roberta he had to make a private call he headed out to the hallway and called Pepper to pass on what he had learned. She swore profusely, then he heard a large exhale of breath from the executive.
"Alright, I'm assembling a team to take over Miss Paxton's care, and you tell Maria she now works for Stark Industries starting at twice the measly pay they were probably giving her. Then I'm calling my lawyer and getting them on the sudden cancellation of her policy. They can't do that, and I won't let them get away with it if I have to buy the company myself. Don't you worry, Bucky. We'll take care of Miss Paxton while you're on mission." She hesitated for a moment. "Okay, I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you'll be getting a call shortly."
Returning to the apartment, he broke the news gently to Roberta, then assured her that she would be looked after. He also told Maria she still had a job, with Stark Industries, sending the woman into her own joyful expressions that someone would do that for her. As she thanked him enthusiastically for his help, he received his mission alert from the Avengers and looked at the readout. He had six hours to report for duty.
"Well, I have some sad news," he stated. "I'm being called out for a mission, but you can take Pepper Stark's insistence on a team to look after you as the complete truth. She'll make sure you're taken care of while I'm gone."
"How long will you be gone?"
"I don't know but we can talk whenever I have a chance," he replied. "Give me your phone and I'll put my information in."
He entered his information in her phone then did the same to his. Then they sat together on the couch. Her hand slowly inched its way towards his and he held her hand while they waited. An hour later, the doorbell rang, and the first member of Roberta's care team, Julie, arrived, along with a contract for Maria to sign that she explained fully to the woman. He stood up, then began to walk towards the door.
"Bucky, can I see you privately for a moment?" asked Roberta, then she blushed and grinned. "You know what I mean."
Julie took Maria into the kitchen, leaving the couple alone. Hesitantly, Robert lifted her hands towards Bucky, and he took them, holding them in his hands. She stepped closer, until there was barely any space between them. Raising one hand to his face, she cupped his cheek as he watched her intently.
"Thank you for taking care of me," she murmured. "You're a very nice man." He began to protest but she placed her fingers on his lips, and he instinctively kissed them, bringing a smile to her lips. "You are a nice man and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. When you get back, I would like to see you again. I don't know many nice men and I kind of want to keep you around."
If she could have seen it, his smile likely would have dazzled her. With his free hand he brushed some hair over her shoulder then leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.
"I would like to see you again, Roberta," he answered. "You're a very nice lady and I don't know many. You let them take care of you while I'm gone, okay?"
She nodded and they kissed again, for longer and with some feeling. Then he caressed her face and left to get ready for his mission.
Two months later.
Carefully, Bucky looked at himself in the mirror of his apartment, satisfied with his haircut and the trim of his beard. After making sure his tie was right and that there were no white cat hairs on his black suit, he turned towards the window. Alpine, the stray kitten he found on the mission and brought back with him, watched from her cat tree in front of the large window. He confirmed he had his wallet and his car keys, then checked the inside pocket for the tickets, smiling at how excited Roberta would be when he told her where they were going.
"What do you think, Al? Do I look good?"
A cross between a meow and a trill greeted him, confirming that he did indeed look good. Leaving a light on in the living room, he gave the kitten a quick stroke on the head, then left, locking the door behind him and walking to the apartment next door. He could hear opera playing in the apartment and smiled, then knocked loud enough to hear the music stop and footsteps approaching the door. It was opened and for a moment he was dazzled at the vision in front of him. Roberta was in a form fitting black dress that seemed to glitter like the night sky. Its open neckline highlighted her collarbones, and a hint of décolletage completed the top part of the dress. A long slit on one side showed off her shapely leg, along with the strappy-heeled sandals she wore.
"Wow! You look amazing," he said, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. "Pepper helped you get that dress, didn't she?"
Roberta blushed. "Maybe. We've become good friends, I think. So, we must be going somewhere fancy because you're looking good as well."
"Darlin' I always look good," he grinned, then his face grew soft as he came closer. "I mean it. You look like a dream and I'm the luckiest guy alive."
They kissed and she used her thumb to wipe off the lipstick that transferred to his lips. Taking her lipstick out of her clutch she reapplied it then waited as Bucky approached with her coat, helping her put it on. They held hands on the elevator down to the parking garage, where Bucky held the car door open for her until she was belted in, and he got in behind the wheel. As they passed over the Brooklyn Bridge, he told her to close her eyes so that it was a surprise. When he pulled up in front of the Metropolitan Opera House, he reminded her to keep her eyes closed. After helping her out, he handed his keys to the valet, then whispered in her ear.
"Open your eyes."
She opened them, ignoring the camera flashes from the paparazzi and seeing they were in front of the Metropolitan Opera House. A big smile appeared on her face, and she looked up at him.
"It's Turandot, isn't it?" she asked. "You got tickets?"
He nodded, then took her hand into the crook of his arm and began to walk to the entrance. There were several calls of his name, and he stopped once, to the sounds and flashes of multiple cameras going off, then they turned away and continued inside. After dropping off her coat at the coat check, they went up the staircase to the Parterre, where they were shown their seats, two in the front row of the left center box. Two programs were already waiting for them, and he watched with an amused smile as she excitedly read it through. When the music started, she watched the performance intently, occasionally glancing at him and squeezing his hand.
At the intermission, they went out and ordered champagne for her, bourbon for him, sipping it as several celebrities approached them, introducing themselves. Bucky was polite but reserved, his attention directed all towards Roberta. The second half of the performance was just as enthralling as the first, especially when it came to the performance of Nessun Dorma, which drew a standing ovation and cries of "Bravo" for the tenor who sang it. Bucky watched Roberta's face as she sat, enthralled at the whole experience. When it ended and the theatre started to empty, she sat bright eyed, still staring at the stage until she turned to him.
"That was amazing," she enthused. "I've never seen it before, and it was everything I ever hoped it would be. Thank you."
"You're welcome," he smiled, standing and offering her his hand. "Now, we can go to dinner, or we can pick up some takeout and have it at your place. I'm good either way. Which do you prefer?"
"You really don't mind takeout? These sandals are beautiful, but I'm not used to them, and I wouldn't mind changing into something more relaxing."
"Takeout it is," stated Bucky, as they approached the coatcheck and he helped her on with her coat.
On the drive back to the apartment building, they held hands, stopping only when they picked up some Chinese food. They were both quiet on the elevator ride to their floor. Inside her apartment, Roberta left Bucky to open the containers as she disappeared into her bedroom, coming out in a pair of leggings and a soft tunic. He took his jacket off, draping it over the back of the chair, then slipped his shoes off. They both ate a good portion of their food, then Roberta winced when she stretched her one foot, noticing she had a blister forming. Putting his food aside, Bucky switched positions on the couch and gestured for her foot, gently massaging it. As he ran his hand over her foot, he rubbed her ankle then her calf muscle, watching her intently.
"Stop," she whispered.
He stopped. Carefully, she shifted closer to him, ending up on his lap. Looking at his tie, she loosened it enough to raise it over his head, then unbuttoned several buttons on his shirt, placing one of her hands on his upper chest.
"Stop," he murmured.
She stopped, still perched on his lap, close enough that she was well aware of the warmth of his body radiating through his shirt and the hands that rested on her thighs, in addition to the bulge already forming in his pants. They gazed at each other then Roberta leaned closer.
"None shall sleep," she said softly.
"You're sure?"
"Very sure."
Slowly, he ran his right hand up her body to her neck. Placing his hand at the back of her neck he pulled her closer then wrapped his arms around her as they kissed passionately. They explored each other's lips and mouths thoroughly, before pulling away, each of them a little breathless. Lifting herself off of Bucky, Roberta went over to her phone and brought up the opera playlist then turned off the light and stood in front of the couch, offering him her hand. He kissed it, then raised himself off and picked her up in his arms.
"You smell good." Her eyes were luminous in the dark that was lit only by the moonlight coming in the floor to ceiling windows. "I love you."
He smiled softly, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, too."
To the sound of her favourite arias, Bucky carried Roberta into the bedroom where neither of them slept until much, much later.
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One shots Masterlist.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#buckybarnes original female character#sam wilson#bucky barnes oneshot#opera#Turandot#Nessun Dorma#romantic bucky#eye surgery
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Happy Friday! For DADWC, how about "severely wounded during battle" for Varric/Solas? 👀
okay so this is a post-trespasser fic that’s very loosely inspired by a scene from the missing (which tbf i have Not read). shouldn’t spoil anything tho. working off the idea of a slowly developing relationship for them that hasn't quite become established yet @dadrunkwriting 698 words cws: gut wound; enemy death; no other character death
Shit. How’d he always end up in these messes? His hand was pressed against the hole in his gut and he was just… wishing that Cassandra had come with him. She’d needed to look after the new Seekers, though. He understood. It was selfish to want her to drop everything, but he rather thought he was allowed to be selfish in the privacy of his own mind while he was dying.
Not really the way he thought he’d end up going, either. Solas might have killed him, but this? Some random Venatori? This was just a sad way to go.
The Venatori was dead. It was a cold comfort, but he supposed there was some small pride to be had in that. The man had run Varric through, but Bianca had cored right through him. Fuck. Bianca. He supposed he should try to destroy the crossbow, wary of letting it fall into enemy hands, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Partly because he was exhausted on account of bleeding out, sure, but also because he couldn’t.
It didn’t hurt much, at least. He knew it should and it scared him that it didn’t, but at the same time he was grateful. If he had to go, at least he could go with some kind of peace.
He heard something and opened his eyes – when had they closed? – blearily watching someone approach. He figured it was another Venatori, but the armor didn’t quite make sense. But he couldn’t focus enough to figure out who it was, not until he crouched in front of him.
Bald, pointy ears, a gentle expression… “Solas?” He rasped, the other man smiling faintly and nodding.
“Shush, my friend.” He wanted to question that, wanted to protest. Who was Solas to be calling him friend, after having abandoned them all? But he didn’t have the strength to argue. Besides, it was kind of… nice. “Let me take care of you.” Sure, that sounded good.
Things were blurry, then, and if asked he wouldn’t have been able to say how much time had passed. All he knew was that he eventually opened his eyes and saw Solas seated cross-legged before him, looking somewhat drained but otherwise normal. Aside from his fucking armor. What kind of mage wore shit like that?
It took Varric too long to realize that his hand had been moved aside, that the hole in him had been patched. It still ached horribly, but it wasn’t bleeding anymore. “Am I…?”
“Going to live?” Solas finished for him, with that same, gentle smile. “Yes, Varric. You’ll go on to write many more books.”
“Hey, Solas?” The other man made a low, encouraging noise. “What the fuck?” For a moment there was absolute silence, then Solas laughed, bright and loud. Clearly Varric had startled him, but Solas had startled him right back. Shit. “Gonna give me a heart attack after all your work…” he grumbled, but he was smiling as Solas’ laughter slowly subsided. Eventually the other man settled down, his countenance becoming a little more somber.
“I can’t answer your questions, my friend.”
“I know,” he said, and he did. He knew how this was going to go. And he wasn’t really in any position to prevent it. “You’ll leave again, won’t you?” Solas nodded.
“And you need to stop pursuing me,” he insisted. “It’s too dangerous.” Varric snorted.
“Like letting you tear the world apart is safer? Sorry, Chuckles, but you’re stuck with me.” Solas sighed and Varric grinned, but he didn’t feel it. “Did you really think I’d just pack up and go home?”
“One must have hope…” he trailed off, apparently unable to keep up the back and forth. Or unwilling. “I do not wish for you to die, Varric. You should go back to Kirkwall, live your life in full. Stop pursuing me.”
“Not a chance.” Solas stared at him for long moments, then sighed again before rising.
“You’re healed enough. Rest for the day, you’ll be safe here. And please, reconsider. You will gain nothing by following me.” With that, he turned and left.
As soon as his footsteps faded, Varric levered himself upright with a grunt and followed.
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Thank Heaven for Little Girls
We hosted a shower for one of our daughters on the weekend. It also included a reveal which is something new to this millennia and a first time attendance by me. After a buildup (but I at least got to eat before it happened) a balloon and two small cannons went off showering the hall with pink confetti. I am hoping that both the doctor and Party City got it right because I am not going to sweep up another mess like that again any time soon. I can only imagine how bad the mess would be if it were twins and it was a boy and a girl.
Back to the good news: we have a granddaughter on the way. This will give us one of each (through two different daughters) so any future babies coming our way will not be something different unless the aforementioned twins pop up. I do have some of those in the family.
It was a gala affair where I heard some of the stupidest questions possible.
Are you happy it is a girl (What idiot would say no?)
Now that you know it is a girl will you try for a boy next time? (Let this one be born first please. I do not think any expectant mother has 'next time' on her mind.)
Is there more shrimp? (Get away from me now)
There were people there that I hadn't seen since the couple got married five years ago so I had to do the old 'long time no see' without calling them by name. For the record I did know my wife's name, the daughters and son-in law and a couple of other random people so all in all I did pretty good.
(Side note. I am allergic to coconut and apparently everyone knows it. I asked what was in the one dessert I was eyeing up and a chorus of 'COCONUT' echoed in the hall. One of the women put me in a hammerlock and led me to a bowl of salad)
Here are some things you should know about having daughters.
They will not pee in your face when you change them. I am positive baby boys do it on purpose just because they can.
I told my son-in-law that having a daughter or daughters will help you lose your hair. He looked at my own bald pate and I saw a flash of terror in his eyes.
Since we found out a baby was on the way my wife always seems to steer me into children's wear so she could look at dresses and the possibility there would be a little girl to buy some for. I have an appointment with my financial advisor tomorrow to look at moving some money around to accommodate the upcoming expected expenditures.
I know this little girl will own my ass and there is nothing I can do about it. They live across the street from us so I expect to see her quite a lot.
I will have to buy my son-in-law a sword or Bowie knife. Not to use but they are very effective if you just happen to be sharpening one of them when a boy comes by to pick her up for their first date. You do not want to go the gun route in case your wife decides to test it on you.
This might sound sexist but I believe many girls are born with a shopping gene. This is something you cannot fight so go with it or move to a cabin in the woods with no internet.
That's all I will say about that.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: If you are going to teach your children anything make sure it includes respect, manners and politeness. It will set them apart from their peers.
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FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2007 Life in this little room is basically the same. Sometimes the noise is annoying, other times it’s quiet. Nothing utterly maddening so far, thank God. Same with the car stereos. They get annoying, but not as maddening as up in the Klam, the freezing, cold, snowy miserable Klam. It’s pretty cold here at night too, though.
We like the money all the overtime brings, but it sucks too, because he has so little free time to “horse around.”
Although I’ve been continuing to pray for the things we want and especially the things we need, God obviously isn’t going to let us have Satish’s house. Is He doing us a favor somehow? We’ll never know. I can’t believe, though, that He did us a favor by denying us the Citrus Heights apartment we initially tried to get into since it would’ve saved us a ton of money. Not unless one of those extremes we always seem to get (with the exception of Kim) would’ve been waiting next door for us.
The next prayer we hope He grants is letting the truck pass emissions. Tom got the part he needed today and also had the truck weighed. I have no idea why they require this. What, do they think the truck will break the roads? He has a permit to drive to the place on Monday after work. Let’s hope it passes! Tom thinks it will since the carburetor has improved. Before it was too smoky. Because of the California smog, they’re really picky about that.
I won 5 Playtex bras, but don’t know if I’ll receive them. I don’t even know if I’ll really like them that much since I prefer sports bras cuz of the way the straps of regular bras slip off my shoulders. It’s just that I can’t remember whose name I entered! I asked them but never heard back from them. Therefore, I went ahead and emailed back the form, assuming I entered in my name.
I heard from Mary, just to wish me a happy birthday and a happy holiday season. She says she’s doing well.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2007 Paula called and left a message yesterday evening and I called her right back. She sounded a little down, understandably, but was still her usual self at the same time.
She said she had to stay at a motel for a week before the housing people placed her where she is now, which she says she doesn’t like either. I guess the people below her get noisy. Getting a quiet place outside of an adult community is getting harder and harder to find. There are more and more rude people obsessed with getting attention, more dogs, more stereos, etc. We got someone next door last night who can’t sit still for long, so hopefully they’ll leave today.
Anyway, she said Justin’s been depressed, has dropped out of school now that he’s 16, and is spending most of his time shut up in his room. Her sister Brandy wants to get him a puppy. I hope for his sake he at least gets his GED.
They still don’t know who started the fire, but it was definitely arson. It happened in the middle of the night.
She said my old building on the corner of Locust and Woodside is gone, but when I checked via satellite, I found that it’s still there, but the building on the opposite corner is gone. The satellite pictures are never up to date, though, so it could be gone, too.
Her husband left her and is filing for divorce. She said his new girlfriend called her claiming to be pregnant, which she doesn’t believe (or want to believe). She also wonders if she’s in jail.
Whatever. That girl is forever cursed in that department!
Things are as bad in the East as in the West with those of color getting special treatment on the job. Jessie hadn’t gotten a promotion in the 5 years she’s been where she works. She told them she was going to leave and take a job that offered her 6 more Gs, even though the benefits wouldn’t be as good. That’s when they said they’d match that pay and give her a position as an analyst, but she has to wait till her position’s filled first. In other words, as soon as they find the perfect little black or Puerto Rican, she can finally move on.
I hope Tom can finally move on himself to second shift soon since they’re not going to hire him on or give him a raise. But he’d prefer second shift till he got something better (or the horses raced us rich) for the bonus and the fact that it’d free up some time during business hours. Like today he had to go in an hour early so he’d have time to play truck later on. He’s been searching for this part which he needs before he can take it to emissions.
I still worry that we’re just being teased yet again about having money and that the horseracing thing isn’t going to work out. He’s always getting “closer than ever,” but I haven’t seen any money yet. It’s not ready to be raced for real, though, and the question is when? When is it going to be ready? I really think we’re heading for an apartment and that we’re still not meant to live where we want to. I don’t think we ever will either. It hasn’t happened yet. That was a hell of a coincidence that the housing market changed right after I first spoke with Satish. Obviously, that would’ve been a hell of a house for us. Probably as close to perfect as we could get for being in the city.
Maybe Mary’s only half right. Maybe alienating God makes things worse, but praying really isn’t that helpful. At least not to Tom and me.
So Satish and others will live where they want and we’ll get into an apartment if we can ever get the truck taken care of first, and I’ll listen to their TVs and their stereos and their slamming doors and their pounding footsteps and whatever extremes are around us, but I’ll enjoy the security while I’m at it, cuz I’ll hate it too damn much to be evicted!
Then again, we may be forever trapped in this room. We may never ever make get out of here.
I saw Josephina and the Indian bitch both as Tom and I were returning from Carl’s Jr. the other day, but the bitch was smiling brightly and was just as polite, so maybe she really was just in a bad mood the last time she did this room which was quite a while ago. Josephina said she thought we moved. “Maybe some century,” I told her.
We’re on for housekeeping tomorrow. Hopefully, it’ll be Josephina or Thay.
For just $25, Tom got a computer stand and it really comes in handy in this little room. When he’s not using it, he stores it in the closet area. When he is, he wheels it over to the recliner. He always thought the chairs were so uncomfortable anyway, and having the stand frees up half the table space for eating and writing.
Since we’re doing better and since he thinks the horses are going to spit out money while I think we’re going to end up saving money in an apartment, I did a little incense order. I wanted to get some old IG favorites, but they still can’t get their shit together. I guess their main server crashed, so I ordered from Silksplash. I’m trying some newbies too, to add to the variety and make it more fun. I got 54 10-packs, 9 of them being newbies.
Later…
They’ve been banging on and off all day next door. Yeah, I figured they weren’t checking out today. They’re noisy, so why would they check out anytime soon? You know the noisy ones always stay. Usually, if they’re still noisy after 20 minutes or so, then that’s pretty much how they’re gonna be the entire time they’re around. That’s the pattern I’ve noticed anyway. The quiet ones stay quiet and the noisy ones stay noisy.
Satish still hasn’t come to tell me what I don’t want to hear, but he may never. Some people have a hard time saying “no” to others. And as Tom pointed out, he probably feels bad. It sure would be nice, though, if he could at least point us in some other direction, even if it wouldn’t be as ideal. God may’ve let us escape with our lives a couple of months ago, but that still doesn’t mean He’s ever going to let us go where we want to, and if He is, I have yet to see it. So I know I really need to start focusing on the good in having what I don’t want and being where I don’t want to be. How could I have to worry about ending up in an apartment like I have been if I’m already there?
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2007 I did end up hearing from my folks after all. I guess I’m not surprised. It was a blank card written by Mom. She said she hopes we’re on the path to success and that she and Dad were married for 56 years. Tom and I must seem like a weekend fling in comparison! As she forgot to tell me, Boo and Max are also gone now. She wished me a happy birthday and us a happy holiday season and said to forget about paying them back and that the money was their gift to us, which was very nice of them. Also, she promises they won’t divulge our address to anyone.
I’ll probably give it till just after the new year then I’ll send another letter.
It’s been colder here. Still ok during the afternoons, but down in the 30s at night. It actually froze once or twice.
No one came to join Thay, the tall Asian housekeeper when she cleaned on Wednesday. She works nights at the casino we go to. I guess she’s a blackjack dealer. We went there early Thanksgiving morning but didn’t win shit.
Also, we still don’t know when he’ll have the giant file split into lots of tiny ones for the horses. He’s been trying to think of a way to speed things up. As I told him, though, as long as he’s still sure it’ll work, then speed isn’t as important. I don’t care if we have to play rental until we can own something, just as long as it’s not attached to others. That’s the problem, though. I still feel as if something’s trying to either trap us here in this room or steer us right back into an apartment or duplex. If we could find a duplex with garages between the two and without a shared yard, that should be pretty comparable to a tooth house.
Right now I just hope there won’t be any problems licensing the truck and that it’ll pass emissions ok. If not, that could be as bad as it crapping out altogether. But California’s tough on smog cuz of all the people and pollution here.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2007 The housekeeper, whoever she is, is next door right now. So someone was in that room last night and I slept through their arrival. They sure let me know it when they left today, though. And while they were packing earlier, too.
I hope the housekeeper isn’t that Indian bitch I’ve come to dislike, but whoever it is will be joined by someone else at some point which I hate because they distract the first housekeeper. They always seem to forget something and I have to check their work and ask for whatever they forgot. At least I’m here to catch whatever it is so Tom doesn’t have to make extra trips to the office.
Anyway, there are only 5 housekeepers here. So it’s gonna be either the tall Asian one, the short Asian one, this other really short one who may be Indian, the bitchy Indian, or Josephina. I hope it’s Josephina, but we’ll see.
I hit two instants in a row this morning. Coke and Pepsi have codes under their caps that you can input for prizes. I got a shirt and a DVD.
I’m also getting free books in our names, but slightly misspelled names, from a few clubs that give you some free books just for signing up. I used to do this like crazy when I lived on Oswego St. in Springfield. I can’t believe they set themselves up to be ripped off like this. But I also can’t believe I’ll get all the books, either. We’ll see.
Although it sucks that we won’t be getting Satish’s house and could be trapped here for still some time to come, it eases my mind to know that if the truck’s engine failed, we could now grab another junker for as little as $500. He’d probably still have to miss a few days of work to do it, so we hope we won’t have to and that the truck will hold out till we can get something better for around 5 grand.
I just peeked out and saw the tall Asian one going to lunch. She’s nice and I like the way she does the floor because she sweeps it first. I never heard her vacuum next door, so maybe she’s not even finished over there. I didn’t think it was Josephina or the bitch. They clean rather aggressively compared to both Asians.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2007 And so begins another day of alarms blaring, mowers whirring, doors slamming, and God knows what else around here.
I’m also beginning to wonder if we’re being teased yet again with money and a peaceful place to live. I mean, it’s a hell of a coincidence that the housing market had to change right as we were so close to getting what sounded so ideal. I should’ve known better, too. After all, it just sounded way too good to be true. When am I going to learn that I’m one of those who just aren’t meant to live where she wants to, and just settle for an apartment? An apartment would have blaring TVs and stereos and rowdy kids which aren’t a problem here (yet), but other than that I don’t see how an apartment could be much worse than this. So we may as well get it over with and learn to settle. An apartment would be the quickest, easiest thing to get into. Then maybe – just maybe – we can escape the chaos in 5 years when he’s 55. Of course, if the horses could just come through for us we could go just about anywhere, but I can’t believe that without seeing it first, despite how knowledgeable Tom is. It’s just that the poor guy only has so much time he can work on it.
So since Satish is obviously going to come back in a week or so just to tell me he won’t rent his house to us, we’re not sure what to do about a place. Tom said he should have a better idea of where the horses will take us by the end of the weekend after the latest kink has been ironed out.
If the horses don’t come through for us our only choices are going to be to either stay here, get an apartment, or try to find another house somewhere, but that would be so hard to do and would take so much more time than he has. Especially while he’s still on 1st shift.
At least Subway screwed up in our favor. Or Tom’s anyway since I don’t care for deli-type places. They accidentally sent two $10 gift cards when I was supposed to get just one, as far as I knew.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2007 OLS is down right now for the upgrade I hope won’t fuck things up too bad. I made a point of backing up ‘my sweeps’ at the end of each day.
To give a general update, things are still going well. Our shower drain is clogged again for the second time since we’ve lived in this little room, thanks to my hair which now stretches just past the middle of my ass. So hopefully things will be even better when I call Satish up to fix it later on today. I’m hoping I can get a better timeframe from him as to when his house will be available. I’m going to at least get the street it’s on so I can check it out by satellite, even though the picture may be old.
With the horseracing program looking more promising than ever, we’re hoping all the more not to have to settle for a rowdy apartment until the money builds up enough to buy something somewhere, so it doesn’t make us act in haste. If we’re truly going to be given another chance to own something, we want to take our time and do it right. But living where I get woken up constantly and can’t hear myself think when I am awake would only make us desperate. It was our desperation to escape Phoenix that helped us make the poor choice we did in Maricopa, and our having to leave there in a hurry helped lead us to screw up in Oregon, too.
The programming has been going slowly but well, which is better than fast and bad. Tom said he doesn’t know why he didn’t think of this before, but he got the idea to split the files containing all the information about individual horses. When he had everything in one giant file and it would get confused for some reason, it would automatically insert a bunch of garbage which was too hard to weed out being such a huge file. Now he can debug things easier in the smaller files he’s creating. He thinks that if it can have a 50/50 accuracy rate while it was confused, it ought to be much better if it’s not nearly as confused. Of course, I don’t know what causes it to be confused in the first place or how it all works. I don’t know programming like he does, and wouldn’t write about it if I did. The fewer people that know about this, the more money it can make us.
As an influencer, the success he’s been having with the programming has got me racking up points like crazy at Netwinner cuz I’ve been more hopeful. I got a record 14,000 points yesterday. I also won a $100 Best Buy card in an instant. Tom pointed out that the reason I’m not winning as much is that the piddly wins are still going to Oregon since you usually don’t get your prizes for a few months after the sweep ends. At least we know they aren’t getting anything big at my expense since they notify you of big wins via phone or express mail.
Tom just got up to tell me there was a setback with the way the program communicates, but he should be able to get it ironed out. He should also have more time this week to work on it with my schedule being on days again, and with Thanksgiving giving him a day off.
The guy on the end did move out, and the rooms next to us were vacant all weekend and so it was wonderfully quiet. Someone in back got a little bangy at times, but that was about it, other than when they were cleaning on the end.
I got a letter from Mary who was as glad as I figured she’d be to hear that I finally got the message where God’s concerned. She also called my parents helping to save us a miracle. Yeah, but while I’ll be forever filled with profound gratitude towards them for rescuing us, miracle or not, I mostly hope they blow me off on my birthday.
I ended up renewing my Webshots membership after all. As pissed as I am that they went from giving us 4 new photos a day to 2, I do love all the cool pictures. Most of them anyway. I also like the storage space for my own pictures, plus there are a lot of cool community pictures as well.
The weekend before last I heard a bunch of sirens approach that cut out close by. I figured it was either an accident or a hold-up at one of the convenience stores. Then yesterday when we were on our way to Walmart, we saw a cross, flowers and notes attached to a utility pole at the Northgate intersection. After Tom looked it up, he found that a 28-year-old guy was killed instantly when his pickup hit the utility pole.
It was incredibly foggy yesterday, but at least it wasn’t snowing like where Jessie is, or down to 15º like it’s been getting at night where Liz is.
Later…
Satish fixed the clogged drain. Although he promised to let me know either way by the end of this month, I can already tell the answer’s going to be no. I don’t understand the housing market, so maybe you can make sense of what he told me. He said something about being undecided because his realtor said that the cost of houses is dropping, so he should hold out a bit longer. Yet he’s already in the process of buying this other house which he says is just 7 blocks away. So what’s he to hold out for?
I told him I didn’t mean to sound pushy and that I understood he had to do what he had to do, but explained to him that living in one room with most of our stuff stuck in storage and having the outrageous costs we have is rough. He seemed sympathetic, though I don’t know if that’ll change anything. Especially since he wouldn’t say what street it was on. Just that it was in Sacramento and off of Diablo. I didn’t think to ask if that was a street or avenue or what. When I checked the map I got a street and a drive. The houses and neighborhoods in both areas looked bigger and ritzier than where we lived in Phoenix. It sort of looked like Carmichael, yet they were also tooth houses. Without knowing exactly where his is, since lots of streets are off both Diablos which means devil, I can’t see if there are any exceptions space-wise.
The big question is where to go if he doesn’t come through for us. Do we try to find the time to get another house? An apartment, hoping it won’t be any worse than here? Stay here and maybe even jump into the end room if the horses really do work out? Either way, those horses have got to come through for us. They’ve got to. If they don’t we’re gonna be where we’ve been for years now – where we don’t want to be.
Hmmm… are the prayers really working as well as I thought they were?
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2007 The guy on the end hasn’t left yet after all but plans to tomorrow. So after 10 long, but miserably interrupted hours of sleep like I had today, I’m sure I’ll get even less tomorrow and be tired as hell by the weekend. The inspector still has to come tomorrow or the next day, the housekeeper’s coming Thursday, and I’m sure the guy will let me know it when he moves out. I’m also sure the housekeeper will let me know it too, when she comes to clean, which will probably take quite a while as long as he’s been there.
I had opened the door to see how the weather was when he was coming up the stairs. I commented that we made it through the storm after all and was sorry to go begging for his help as I did. He smiled and said it was ok and that he was sorry he couldn’t help. Then he said something about not being able to make it here and going to live with relatives.
Fortunately, the quiet people on the other side are still here. They came in shortly after midnight. I heard a few subtle bumps and bangs, then nothing.
It sucks that Satish still hasn’t called, and Netwinner is late on sending me my cash card with $50 on it, saying that they’ve moved and all that and are oh-so busy. This is no excuse, and I’d like to move too, and so I could really use the damn money! We’ve agreed to have Netwinner be more or less the “furniture and appliance supplier” for now. The $50 that’s on its way is for the incense I got a while back, and the $50 I’ve got accumulated right now is waiting to be put on the card once it arrives. So I’ve got half a new microwave. Meanwhile, we still need a new hot/cold water dispenser and desks. Lower on our list of priorities are things like a new bed for him, a long dresser for me, shelves, and I really like these cool new digital photo frames they have now. They’re like portable screensavers, and of course you can use your own pictures to display. If we do have money again it’d be nice to send one to my folks, preloaded with pictures I’ve taken over the years, as well as Webshots photos.
My birthday coming up in a few weeks will be a good test as to where they stand. They’ll either send a card saying not to pay them back, or just send a card, or send nothing at all.
On the bright side, Tom’s been working like crazy and so we’re doing ok financially. The lady who had foot surgery isn’t returning for another week or so, so they can’t start 2nd shift till then.
For now, I have been praying every day for God to let Satish come through for us, along with his racing program. I also ask that He safeguard us from problems with our health, truck and money. If He hasn’t been keeping a fine ear tuned to my requests so far, then it’s a hell of a coincidence!
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2007 Still no call from Satish, which sucks. Tom said he wouldn’t assume he’s not going to rent to us unless we don’t hear anything for 3 weeks, since he said a month or two.
I still fear we’re still not going to be allowed to live in a peaceful place and that we’ll get stuck in an apartment. This motel and an apartment may be better than the streets, but both are still bad enough. All I want are these 3 things: A peaceful place to live, a reliable vehicle, and 5 grand saved up for the emergency we hope to never have. Maybe there’s a chance we can get the last two.
I still intend to use our clogged shower drain as an excuse to lure Satish up here to see if I can see if he’s still serious and to get a better idea of when we could move into his house if he still is. If he doesn’t happen to be here that day, then I’ll have the office have him contact me in a couple more weeks if he hasn’t called us first.
I’m still not sleeping well when trying to sleep during the daytime. They failed their inspection so now I gotta deal with a repeat episode of that shit waking me up, along with the housekeeper, door slamming, plus all the other shit they do around here. The inspector will be here within the next few days.
I’m pretty sure the guy on the end is gone. Someone checked in on the other side and so far they’re wonderfully quiet. I’d rather quiet neighbors than no neighbors, since it couldn’t stay vacant on either side of us forever, and since having good neighbors keeps the bad ones away. But the good ones don’t last long, so I’m sure they’ll check out tomorrow. I didn’t hear any telltale drawers opening and closing.
Despite wanting out of this room so badly, Tom started coding his racing program again in a different way that seems to be working well so far. He thinks that by the end of the week, he’ll have a better idea of how effective it’ll be.
They’re talking about opening an email account for him at work, but he still doesn’t think they’re going to hire him on. He thinks they’re cheap and will keep him forever as a temp without ever giving him any raises for as long as he’s there. They do this so they don’t have to insure people.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2007 The lady who was out having foot surgery hasn’t returned to work, so Tom won’t be starting 2nd shift next Monday. He said it won’t make much difference either way. He’s still working tons of overtime and making tons of money. More so than in Oregon, but it doesn’t feel that way when all the money’s going to this damn motel! It’s like in Maricopa where we were rich, but we were broke, cuz all the money went to the house. Still, we’re in the position to pay for two weeks here for the first time ever, but we’re not going to.
I just wish I knew when we were leaving and where we were going! I’m sick of not knowing. This is the glorified version of being unsentenced inmates, we just have a fancy, more luxurious cell in which we’re free to come and go as we wait out our sentence.
At least Tom was right in saying he’d make more money faster if we came here rather than to Merced. I really thought he’d make shitty money for quite a while. Now if only he could be right about fine-tuning those horse numbers, too!
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2007 There are these huge wild turkeys running around here, strangely enough. Tom said he’s seen them beating their heads in people’s cars. He’s seen dead turkeys and raccoons on the roads on the way to work early in the mornings.
Today we’re having our coldest day yet. It’s to be in the mid-60s all week. I’m surprised we’ll have the same lows in the 40s as we had when we were having highs in the 70s. At least it’s not going to drop to the 20s like it will in the Klam and where Jessie is tonight!
I had what felt like the start of a cold trying to grab me by the throat, so I burned it away with hot tea.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2007 And the annoyances go on! At least we’re not homeless, but even so, Netwinner’s having technical problems like crazy. Big changes bring big headaches. I’ll be going through that with OLS soon enough, too. Why can’t people leave things alone for more than 5 minutes?! Although I do love their multiplier. It’s what’s been upping my points like crazy lately.
It’s also been a zoo here in the mornings. They did the door on the end today. Hopefully, that’ll get him out of there more often. He seemed to be hanging around more often because as I’ve noticed before, he obviously doesn’t want anyone in the room when he’s not there, and he must’ve known they were coming soon. He hasn’t been “noisy,” but I’ve heard things that do get a bit annoying at times. The main annoyances are still all the damn door slamming. That’s 95% of what I hear around here.
It was a zoo this morning from 6:30 - 11:30 but has been dead quiet ever since. Wish it could be that way all the time!
I was stressing out again cuz the truck leaked some water yesterday. Tom epoxied it but wasn’t sure how it would hold up. I started getting all paranoid again, wondering if our being close to death as we were a month ago was actually to prepare us for having to kill ourselves for real. It’s just scary to know that if something craps out with the truck that we couldn’t afford to fix, we’re totally screwed and as good as dead. We’d be like cars without gas, and without gas, you simply can’t function. Whoever said money isn’t everything is a fool. Being rich isn’t everything, but having money for the necessities is definitely everything or else you can’t live.
Oh, to have peace and security! Why are those two simple requests such an impossible dream? Just a peaceful place with two vehicles and 5 grand saved up for emergencies, and if he ever did get the luxury of working for himself before he retired, then we could have just one vehicle to go with the peaceful place and the 5 grand.
Tom might start 2nd shift on Monday. He says he won’t be working as much overtime, but with the 5% bonus, it won’t make much difference pay-wise. He’s been working an incredible amount of overtime to get us into a place if we don’t get into Satish’s house. I just don’t know if it’ll be someone else’s house or that dreaded apartment. Not that Satish is lying, but what he told me sounded too good to be true. At least for us personally. It just sounds too much like what we want, and we’re not in the habit of getting what we want when it comes to where we live.
I was surprised there was nothing but junk at the mail place when he stopped today after work. I’ve been sweeping more and more, but you’d never know it. I’m surprised there was nothing from Mary, and still surprised there was nothing from my folks, either, if only to tell me not to bother to pay them back. Maybe they really are hurting financially, although $500 is a lot to shell out for someone when you’re hurting. Tom thinks they’re just waiting till we get settled. I think either something came up or they’ve decided that returning to silence is better, something we can agree on for once.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2007 Today’s annoyance was one of the housekeepers taking a broom and swatting spider webs outside the rooms. And of course this meant swatting the doors and windows as well. It’s a good thing I wasn’t asleep, although I don’t expect to sleep well tomorrow. The guy on the end is on for cleaning tomorrow, someone’s below us, and we have new people next to us who also aren’t going anywhere too soon. I could tell by the drawers I heard opening and closing. People don’t usually fill dressers if they plan to turn around and take off in a day or two.
Oh, how I hope Satish comes through for us!
Jessie said her house is a small two-bedroom house built in 1930. She said she really likes not having a nosy landlady knocking on her window every time she walks by. I’ll bet!
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2007 God, they just can’t take a day off around here to save their lives! It’s so typical of apartments and motels of the West, too. Always gotta be mowing, blowing, painting, cleaning, etc. Even if it doesn’t need it. I guess they wouldn’t feel like a real Western motel if they took a day off to sit on their asses and do nothing.
I just hope Satish comes through for us and that the place is as good as it sounds!
I’m glad we haven’t had to go camping so far. I not only hate to camp, but to me, it’s just a fancy state of homelessness, and well, glorified vagabonds are nothing we need to be.
Our worst fears of losing everything like we nearly did happened to Paula, I was dismayed to read. She sent a letter about a week ago saying that in late August her apartment building burned down. She said they thought it was the neighbor, but didn’t say if they thought it was arson or not. Then the place got looted afterward. I tried to find information online about it, but couldn’t. She said her son was taking it really hard, that he cut himself, is threatening suicide, and so she may have him committed. She said all the dolls I sent got burned, but she did manage to salvage her wedding dress. On top of all this, she had a staph infection under her arm and misses her husband. She’s now in a new apartment which I guess is also in Chicopee. I wonder where she stayed until she could move into the new place. She says she’s on the second floor and that the landlords live on the first.
Both Tom and I feel bad for her and her son. That really sucks to lose your stuff to a fire, or to anything. I remember her telling me she wouldn’t move to Florida for fear of losing everything to a hurricane, too. I’ll be adding her to my prayers.
She also lost the bracelet I won and sent her because it was so her in shades of green and frost white. I’m going to one day surprise her with not only some porcelain dolls I’ve been sick of for quite some time but with a necklace she’d no doubt love with jades and clear beads.
Fortunately for us, we’ve been doing much better. I ended up getting over 10,000 points on Netwinner a few days ago, and next week he’s going to be getting a $600 check with all the overtime they’ve had him doing. If things could continue to go well with the truck and we could get into Satish’s house and find it to be all he says it is, then we couldn’t get much better than that! That’d be one hell of a stark contrast to how hopelessly miserable we were a month ago.
He doubts they’ll hire him on when he’s been there 3 months on the 14th because all the people that started off as temps say it takes 18 months to get hired on, and all they got were little piddly raises along the way. I’ve been uninsured long enough, and he doesn’t think this place has much potential for him, so as soon as we get settled somewhere and he can get a new birth certificate, he’s going to look for something better.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2007 To say that October came in like a lion and went out like a lamb is an understatement! I’m so excited that I can barely compose my thoughts in order to write! I think I know why I had that 50K dream! Nothing’s etched in stone yet, but given the dream, the fact that Susie was only wrong once, and knowing Satish, the maintenance guy from the beautiful Fiji Islands, it sure seems quite promising. Especially since Satish isn’t “thinking” about buying a new house, but is buying one. There’s also the fact that I never vibed us being here in ’08, and haven’t had dreams where we were actually living in an apartment. This pretty much stamps out any remaining doubts I may’ve had as to whether or not prayer works, too! And did God do us a favor in denying us that Citrus Heights apartment? Yup! Especially if this works out, and if it does, there’d also be no doubt that this is the best motel!
Just when I thought he’d totally forgotten, Satish came to do the door a few minutes after I got up just before 11:00. We made small talk as usual and at one point I casually mentioned that we were looking to rent a house, preferably in the Roseville/Rocklin area. This is when he asked how much we were willing to pay. I said that, of course, the less the better, and that while we’d prefer to pay around $800-$900, we knew we may have to pay over $1000. I explained we were looking to rent from an individual we knew since management companies can be a problem, and since we’d absolutely hate to end up in an apartment. He said he’s never lived in an apartment and would never want to with all the noise, lack of privacy, vehicle worries, etc. He also agreed that no matter how good you leave an apartment you’re moving out of, they always rip you off.
So it turns out that he has a 3-bedroom, 2-bath house that’s about 1300 square feet heading towards Roseville in a beautiful neighborhood that he says is quiet. He says the house isn’t set too close to others, and that he hates those tooth houses, too. He said the only reason he bought another house was that he wanted a bigger place with a bigger yard. He said it’s an early 80s house. Brand spanking new compared to the 40s dump in the Klam.
He asked if we were looking to rent long-term, and I assured him we were. I told him the idea was to buy a house in a retirement community when Tom’s 55 in 5 years, but that until then we were hoping to find an affordable, peaceful house.
I told him Tom worked at Comtek and he knew where that was. I pointed out that since he’s new here and is only making $10 an hour, and I’m home entering contests, we couldn’t afford anything too expensive, and were in the process of saving up for a place since we figured the person would want deposits and all that. He said he wasn’t worried about deposits, and that he’ll call us once he’s worked out exactly what his own payments are going to be with his loan officer. He doubts it’ll be over $1000 a month, though, and said something about throwing in a few hundred himself, if possible. Also, two months would be the most it could take, but it would more than likely be one month.
To think that I not only saved us by calling my folks but that I may get us home too is a way awesome feeling! Maybe I’m not so worthless after all.
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content notes: long post, personal life, strained family relationships, bad choices?? (neglecting self care, seeing people that are bad for me), thanksgiving, but positive stuff at the end.
Life update!
I've been ill all month, still not recovered because I am working despite my illness. (first of the "bad choices"). So, that's fun. I tried to chill and drink tea today. I've had a week off because my workplaces are closed on thanksgiving day, I get 1 designated weekend off which was last weekend, second job slashed hours, and it just lined up that way. At least for this little break, I've done pretty good with the house cleaning goals I set, but not overdoing it. That's something!
THE HEAVY STUFF:
I am trying to emotionally prepare myself for thanksgiving day. Going to visit the extended family. Every time I see my family, I feel stressed, sad, and hurt. I'm really on edge the whole time, then I come home exhausted and I fall apart. Or go numb. So seeing them is the second of the "bad choices." But this year, my wife and I are driving ourselves, so we can leave when we want to. Yay agency!
I'd really like to find a way forward navigating family pressures and obligations and all of my feelings on it with a professional. I liked my past therapist a lot, but I thought her advice about family was...incomplete, and didn't quite fit my situation. I'm hoping to feel comfortable plainly saying when I'd like to look at other options or from a new angle, with my next therapist. But for now, I am going to "celebrate" the holiday I loathe with the people who do not understand me, again. I'm going to try to be kind to myself throughout the day and afterward, even though going at all is not very kind to myself. My friend said his house is open for people to hang out on thursday, so I think going there instead of straight home will cheer me up.
Idk, I posted about my cousin's wedding back in July, and being the only queer there without my wife and no one to even acknowledge how hard it was on me, how disconnected I felt, was part of what made it suck so bad. I am going to reach out to folks this time instead of keeping it in.
So yeah, this time of year is rough. I generally feel I have to trudge through a bunch of stuff I hate when all I want to do is curl up and hibernate until February. I am at least Making Good Choices in small ways. Hydrating, eating, folding the laundry, going for walks, reaching out to friends. Listening to sad music but not ONLY listening to sad music and shutting the world out. It's a process! I think I am staying more, um, recovery minded than backsliding? Overall. Mental health wise. I'm really trying!
Also, this is very obvious but when transphobia gets you down, listening to music by trans artists helps 1000%. It's so healing. I'm gonna have my playlist at the ready.
THE BRIGHT SIDE:
I have some creative project ideas cooking. Still working on that one story I mentioned a while back! The multiverse one. I'm learning more about the inciting incident in the story and I like how it's developing.
I also made some preliminary sketches tonight for a zine I want to make. Just a cute little fan zine. I have a lot of zine making pals but this will be my first one!
Also! Today I just heard back about the date for session 0 for a TTRPG with cool new friends. I can't wait to try roleplaying again. I'm gonna look into the mechanics of the system before then so I don't feel lost and I can focus on having fun.
Also, after all the thanksgiving day nonsense...on Saturday, I get to see my amazing friend who is visiting from the other side of the country. They're having a party which I'm sure will be amazing. And next tuesday my friends and I are going to the movies. So. thursday is one crummy day, I will survive it, and there is the warmth of friendship on the other side. I got this. Have a great evening, y'all.
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I finally finished The Phantom Agent! I'm gonna try to write down my impressions and hopefully make up a somewhat coherent review. I played with male MC and and romanced female agent Gray, so it's going to be from MLW perspective. TL;DR version at the end.
When I first started reading TPA, I was quite intrigued - an action-adventure book with a confident seasoned spy as a main character. Seems like a perfect recipe for a simple man like me. The further I kept reading though, the more the book began to fall apart sadly.
Firstly, I'd like to start with the strongest aspect about the book for me which was the dynamic between the MC and his new partner, agent Samara Gray. We got a masculine leaning MC and a more feminine LI which is a rarity. Even in the game's dialogue files their default pronouns reflected that intention. So I have to thank PB for daring to try it out. I think it worked quite well and I've not managed to find anyone complaining that the MC acted too masculine or the LI too girly, like we, the guys, usually like to whine 🙊. So, I really do hope that however the book itself performed, it won't discourage PB from trying this in future books to change up things a little, even if it's just a casual romance story more oriented towards female readers.
Gray started off ice cold towards MC based on what she'd heard of him, so it seemed like a fun challenge to make her warm up to MC. I enjoyed the constant witty banter between them and that Samara always managed to fire back with her razor sharp tongue. The angst when they began catching feelings for each other was also quite pleasing. Of course, it's another single LI book where you can never fully escape the romance, so for those who don't like Gray it would feel like a chore to read through TPA.
Vivian was also a fun character. As a team member who always followed us on our mission, it seemed like a missed opportunity to turn her into an LI as well. She probably would have been more sidelined but still a great alternative for those who didn't feel the chemistry with agent Gray. When was the last time we got a nerdy weirdo LI anyway, especially a male or GOC one?
However, that's kind of where the positive stuff mostly ends. When I first heard the book's title, I imagined a serious and gritty spy book. A "phantom agent" sounds like a rogue spy who's been framed for a crime they didn't commit and now has to clean their name in a high stakes cat and mouse game. Unfortunately, TPA turned out to be more like a mix between the campiest James Bond movies and the later Fast and Furious movies. On steroids. It was so silly and weird, it sounded like the writers were trying to fit in every imaginable spy story cliché. I almost thought it was a parody like Austin Powers or Johnny English but the book tried to take itself too seriously for that comparison.
My biggest gripe were the action scenes. PB has never been good at writing that stuff but in a book that's all about fighting and chasing bad guys, it really stood out like a sore thumb. There was some silly physics defying action like MC turning around a motorcycle and keeping it moving in reverse or Gray using a falling billboard as a ramp. Then there's fighting scenes where the main characters always had time to run towards heavily armed enemies as if time had stopped. Like those stupid robots near the end who were pointing guns at us and had been tasked to kill us but for some reason they allowed us to run to them and easily knock them out. This all came off as a lack of care from the writers' side. It was weird that MC almost always preferred hand to hand combat, preferring to knock out his enemies instead of using firearms. I guess our spy didn't have the license to kill. It's not like this was a family friendly book preventing to write a main character who wouldn't shy away from shooting a bad guy's brains out (damn, now I miss the gore from WTD). Near the end I didn't even bother buying extra action scenes and just wanted to get over with that part.
Besides the usual action, I wasn't the biggest fan of the overreliance on otherworldly and futuristic tech. As a kid I always eagerly looked forward to Q showing Bond cool gadgets but I've long grown out of it. In this day and age when everyone can learn to create CGI robots at home, it's difficult to be amazed by this stuff. And while Vivian is cool as a character, her inventions played a too important role in my opinion, often acting as deus ex machina to save us from another sticky situation.
At first I was glad like most of us that we'd gotten a professional MC who's great at what they do for a change not another young and stupid rookie. Sadly, I was a bit disappointed by the end. He was supposed to be a seasoned spy, hardened by dozens of life threatening missions, yet during the story he was often stupidly clumsy, short sighted and forgetful of his surroundings, letting enemies to easily best him, one moment of which I talked about in a separate post. I guess he's another victim of writers making MCs do stupid things for the sake of the plot because they don't know other ways to make plot move, in the end ruining the immersion which is very important for interactive fiction.
When it comes to the big bad of TPA then the Architect wasn't the worst one PB has come out with lately (though the bar is extremely low). However, the way he's portrayed is too reliant on players buying diamond scenes to learn more about his character. Without them he'd probably be another one dimensional hateful villain. You really need to buy the extra scenes for him become more multifaceted, even almost compassionate because his backstory really is a sad one. He's still too much of a text book supervillain with a heart of ice and a hunger for world domination but that paywalled information adds some important depth to the Architect's character.
Let's also not forget every supervillain's compulsory sidekick, which in this book was the Contractor or should I say our dead but not actually dead (how original, right) ex-partner Rowan Salazar. I'm very conflicted about her character. She was supposed to be our MC's love of life, yet the story did nothing to make us love her more and when it was time for the "big" reveal, she acted all cold and cocky like she had never loved our character, as if it had all been stupid lie. Her character arc feels very underdeveloped. The story should have given us many glimpses to their past romance to make us feel more compassion towards Rowan, or reignite the love. Like with Vivian, it would have been another great opportunity for a romance path, a one more a kin to enemies to lovers. However, while the players have practically no chance to get to know her, we're forced to watch how MC is still weak for this seemingly despicable and unredeemable stranger and they kiss and we're given a chance to hook up. *Sigh* whatever, let's give the superficial horndogs a chance to screw another hot sprite, because 💎💎💎.
While we're at the topic of pounding sexy pixels then, like every proper Bond movie, our MC was also given chances to hook up with side characters. The first one, with nurse Lou, came out of nowhere, the proposition was like an intro from a p0rn movie. I prefer a longer build up and that's where hook-up with Alexis really shined. The wait and anticipation through the two chapters totally paid off. And like agent Gray, these two fling partners also seemed to be written in a more feminine way.
All in all, TPS was a book with great potential but ultimately didn't live up to the hype and fell a bit flat. The action was silly and over the top, lacking the sense of urgency and high stakes. The MC wasn't quite as competent as a seasoned spy should be. The enemies weren't the worst but still left a lot to be desired. The book still had plenty of fun moments to keep me invested but I wish it had been more like Mission Impossible and less like a parody on campy James Bond movies. For me the story was mostly reliant on the relationship with agent Gray who I quickly grew very fond of and I could say that despite TPS's shortcomings, my dear Samara definitely earns a spot among my favourite LIs.
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Hey, look! It's GENEVIEVE HERNANDEZ. Did you know they WORK as a LAWYER at LEGAL LIGHTHOUSE ? I guess they're from NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK and have been in town for TWELVE MONTHS , living in HAWTHORNE HIDEAWAY. I also heard they're a little HARDHEADED, but also very GRACEFUL which definitely makes sense.
Born in the "city that never sleeps" to District Attorney Andre Hamilton and renowned stage actress, Eileen Debose, there was no doubt in the world that their little Genevieve would grow up to be anything less than 'ordinary'. Contrary to the stereotype place on those living in the dual-arenas of politics and the arts, Genevieve couldn't have asked for a more picture-perfect childhood. With no other siblings in tow, she was very easily the apple of her parents' eyes, especially her father's who always saw her as his perfect equal. The pair were inseparable, always going on trips together and sharing too many inside jokes, much to the amusement of the rest of the family.
It wasn't until Andre was let go from his esteemed position, after a string of scandals and allegations, that things weren't as idyllic as they first appeared. Turning to the only solace he could find; a bottle of aged whiskey or two, the Hamilton patriarch was a shadow of his former, doting self. The vocal battles between Genevieve's parents seemed to become a part of their almost daily routine. The fights always ended the same — with her father, regretting the venom in his words and promising to be better and her mother, tired and weary, vowing to leave. Months passed until it wasn't hard for the littlest Hamilton to feel like the loneliest girl in the world, immediately jumping into her studies as a means to escape.
College gave her a means to both hide away from the world and learn about it. She would spend most of her collegiate hours stalking the library's vast, spreading shelves in the hopes of somehow outdoing her father's legacy as well as dulling the darkness his downfall had caused. It was on a dreary Tuesday afternoon and on her usual quest, Genevieve tripped and fell, quite literally, head over heels for someone who looked unusually out of place amongst the law books of Honoré and Dickens. Shaking hands, he introduced himself as Cristian Hernandez.
With his cool, calm exterior, Genevieve was immediately entranced by his surprisingly gentle demeanour. To her, his outward features juxtaposed those inside, to her, he was exactly what she needed. Piece by piece, he collected her, he made her see her worth and seemed to love every inch of her and they were intoxicatingly happy. Naturally with this new and exciting plans for the happy couple; marriage, babies, careers. Months passed before the young moved into a small, shoebox-sized apartment, Genevieve could make peace with her decision of falling so hard and fast in love and she had to quickly as without a word as another wrench would be thrown into the works.
Sure enough, there came a call from her mother, her voice barely above a whisper and her tone mournful. It was her father. Despite his best efforts to make amends and cut back on the drinking for his family, it was his heart that finally betrayed the rest of his body and her mother found him in his favourite armchair, having passed away in his sleep.
Since her father's funeral, it seemed as if her life had changed forever. She had never felt alone yet so together with her family and Cristian by her side. They'd come through so much together, good and bad, and she was sure he was 'the One'. So it wasn't much of a surprise to anyone when wedding bells sounded and she could finally take his last name.
Before arriving in the picture-perfect town, Genevieve and Cristian had tried everything to finally achieve their goal of becoming parents and raising a family of their own, with no success until the couple decided to take things easier and not think about it for a little while. Sure enough, those little pink lines gave them everything they could possibly imagine and they were soon blessed with a beautiful baby boy, Samuel. Four years later, and completely surprised once again they were lucky enough to become parents again to another son, little Marcelino.
With her career flourishing and her family thriving, Genevieve couldn't ask for a happier, more picturesque town for her boys to grow up in. Though she can't mistake the feeling of wanting to expand their brood a little further, perhaps with a little girl like herself, who is the apple of her father's eye.
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Heaven and Hell // (Stranger Things) S.H. x reader x E.M. smut
requests: @ami-is-hungry -- Omgg okay- hear me out-- So, we're at a party y'know we have been dating Steve for aaa few months, and we're not really into parties like that so we invite our best friend Eddie the hot Munson. Steve gets jealous and boom threesome?? jkjk unless 😩✨
@ anon: PLEASE CAN WE GET A THREESOME W EDDIE AND STEVE!! I BEG YOU I NEED IT SO BAD
a/n: you ask and you shall receive!! I had a lot of fun writing this and thank you both for sending in the request as I really needed it to get back into the writing game- also saying that I haven´t written anything in ages and I haven´t written any ST stuff since... season 2 came out??? so I might be a bit rusty. none the less, I hope you enjoy!! Also, in my mind, Eddie´s closest friends (aka reader) call him Munchy, so yeah, that will be coming back in any other fics i write i think. Also plot might be a bit iffy, but let´s be real, no one is here for that.
Please support your local content creators with reblogs and comments <3
word count: 6022
warning: jealous boyfriend!steve, female reader, drugs, drinking, smut (characters are 18+, minors DNI!) -- mmf threesome, blindfold, sex under influence, unprotected sex (no-no), oral (f/m receiving), hair pulling, one ¨slut¨, face sitting, cum stuff. no specific dom/sub dynamic but Eddie kinda takes charge, it just kind of happened.
Big black shape with eyes of fire Telling people their desire - Black Sabbath
‘Oh god, what is Munson doing here?’ Steve muttered into your ear. You sat next to your boyfriend, practically on his lap and entangled in his limbs, while sipping some stale beer from a red solo cup. Then, at the sound of your friend’s name, your head spun in the direction of the door, where you could see his uncombed mop of hair stick out above the masses of hairspray and gel.
‘I invited him,’ you said matter-of-factly, waving Eddie over. Steve’s eyes bulged in confusion.
‘What? You… invited Eddie the Freak Munson? Why?’
‘Because he’s my friend and now, besides you, the only person I can actually stand in this shithole.’ You got up from the couch to hug Eddie. His arm wrapped themselves around you in a tight and warm embrace that felt nothing but like homely comfort to you. It was a gift which he was very generous with to others.
‘I’m so happy you could make it, Munchy.’ You said mid-hug, squeezing him a little bit tighter.
‘You know I can never say no to that gorgeous smile, M’lady. And the number of people I could score a deal with here, I’ll be able to feast for weeks!’ With his arm still around your shoulder, he looked in search of a new investment, someone looking for a good time. Then you also noticed he was carrying his, to say the least, iconic black toolbox under his arm.
‘Alright, let’s break this up, shall we?’ Steve got up from his seat, popping his head between you and Eddie, pushing you slightly apart. ‘Let’s not get too comfortable, yeah, Munson?’
‘Don’t worry, Harrington, I’d never dare steal this lady from you.’ Eddie’s smirk didn’t go unnoticed by you or your boyfriend, which probably wasn’t helping the situation. You had known for a long time how jealous and overprotective Steve could get– well, you had heard about it from the girls he had dated in the past, yet never had experienced it first-hand yourself, as you had never found yourself in a situation where Steve would have felt threatened. Indeed, you had never expected this to finally happen with your best friend. The idea alone was ridiculous.
‘Yeah, well, we’ll see about that, ok?’ Steve grabbed you in an embrace, stating his position clear to everyone, specifically Eddie.
‘Whatever, man.’ Eddie rolled his eyes, then looked at you, ‘you’re still up for it later?’
‘Mhm, totally.’
‘Later? What’s up later?’ Steve, already feeling three steps behind, looked at you for clarity, so you explained it.
‘Was going to go outside for a bit, smoke some of Eddie’s good stuff… you can join, of course. If you’d like to.’
‘Sure.’ Steve didn’t even hesitate. He glared quickly over at Eddie, who giggled behind his hand at the thought of Steve Harrington smoking a joint for, what probably would be, his first time. He told you he’s meet you out back later after he’d make some sales with the people on the part. So, already looking forward to catching some fresh air, you took Steve by the hand and led him out to the backyard. It was surprisingly empty, with most party-goers still inside the house. You found two declining garden chairs and pushed them into a far corner of the garden, where you would be less likely to be disturbed.
Steve sat down on one chair, and you were ready to sit on the other, but he grabbed you by your hips and pulled you down to sit on his lap.
‘Hey there, sailor,’ you kissed his cheek.
‘I’d really prefer for you to not call me that anymore.’
‘Hmm, I know but “sailor” is so much better than “home video man”,’ you giggled.
‘Oh god, stop.’ Steve groaned, but you kept coming up with job titles to call him, even when he started leaving sloppy kisses across your exposed skin.
‘Rental boy?’ He kissed your neck. ‘Hmm, I can’t come up with anything better. So, sailor, it’s.’ Steve’s mouth moved down to your collarbone, which peaked out of your shirt.
You weren’t sure how far you would have taken it on that garden chair if it wasn’t for the voice you heard behind you.
‘Don’t mind me, you two,’ followed by a flicker of a lighter and an orange spark of light.
‘Shit. Eddie, sorry.’ You pulled away from Steve and wanted to get up to face Eddie, but Steve had different plans, keeping you fastly seated on top of him. With his arms around you, you had nowhere to go.
‘No, it’s fine. I had voyeurism on my try-out list anyway,’ he put a neatly rolled up joint between his lips, flicking the lighter on again. The flame lit up his face as he hid it from your vision with his hands, needing to protect it from the soft wind blowing around you. The flame caught on and burned the tip of the joint. It already had a strong smell, but the smoke that Eddie blew out only made it spread out faster and with more intensity.
‘You’re disgusting,’ you laughed and watched Eddie let himself fall onto the other chair next to you. He then winked as he took a long drag of the joint.
He exhaled and was finally able to speak. ‘Mmm, you know it, baby, whoo!’ The smoke came out with his words, and he cheered for the effect it already had on him. You didn’t want to miss out on any more of it and took the joint out of his hand. Steve had not said a word yet, but you felt his eyes on you as your lips touched the rolled-up paper. The smoke filled your lungs quickly, slightly painfully, with the overcoming burning sensation that you had grown to love so bitterly.
Not wanting to let the smoke out, you couldn’t talk, just hum to get Steve’s attention.
‘What?’ He tried to ask, but you were quicker with pressing your lips onto him. Like that, you let the smoke travel between you. Knowing it would be the only way for Steve to get high and not pester you with complaints afterwards, it was a strategy.
‘Oh shit,’ he coughed after you let go. ‘That is disgusting.’
‘Just let it do its magic, Harrington,’ Eddie put his arm behind his head as he looked at the dark sky above you. The stars were mostly hidden behind even darker clouds, but some shined through. Steve coughed a little bit more.
‘Shit, Steve, I’ll go get you some water.’ You would get up, but Steve didn’t let you go.
‘No, I’m fine, y/n. It’s fine.’
‘Ok, then I’m gonna get myself some water.’ You pulled his hands away from your waist and got up, quickly striding back inside. You found some water bottles in the fridge in the kitchen, grabbed three, and walked just as quickly back. With the only two people you were interested in talking to sitting outside, you had no business staying in the room. You wanted to get out of there before some drunken asshole started to talk you up, or someone would spill their drink on you.
You managed exactly that and got back outside to find the most unusual image. Steve and Eddie passed the joint between themselves, giggling like two school girls.
‘What did I miss?’ you asked curiously, handing them their own ice-cold water bottle. Steve immediately started drinking his, but Eddie filled you in on the last few minutes.
‘We were just talking.’
‘About?’ You decided to sit on the ground. The freshly cut grass smelled so much better than the grass being smoked up by the three of you.
‘You.’ Steve said, which made you raise an eyebrow, so he added: ‘and how pretty you are.’ It really took him that fast to be out of it, huh? You couldn’t help but laugh. There was no way those two idiots had just spent the previous five minutes gushing about you. Well, maybe Steve, but why would Eddie…
‘No, it’s true,’ Eddie said, nodding lightly and handing you what was still left of the joint. ‘You’re like… insanely hot.’
‘Dude!’ Steve said, ‘that’s still my girlfriend you’re talking about.’
‘Yeah, believe me, I know.’ Eddie kept his head up on his knuckles. You couldn’t tell if the hazy smile came from the drugs or something else. You also started to feel that “insanely hot” comment slightly too literally as your face heated up. Hearing Steve compliment you as he does was still something you weren’t wholly grown used to, but now Eddie was sitting next to you, looking at you the way he does with those big brown eyes of his, not to mention the weed was hitting all the right spots… you were getting dizzy.
Or maybe you had inhaled it for too long because suddenly, you were coughing. Finally, one of them unscrewed the cap of your bottle, and you downed the contents.
‘Fuck- thanks,’ by your own voice, you had still gone a bit sore, but at least you weren’t choking on smoke any longer.
‘Are you ok?’ It was Eddie who asked; he had come off the chair to sit on the ground next to you, his hand on your shoulder. His face was full of concern. Steve had the same expression on his features, just a few feet away. And then he registered Eddie’s position next to you, and some anger overtook him.
‘You see she’s fine, Munson. Back off.’
‘I’m not doing anything, man.’ Eddie laughed, and his words were echoed by you: ‘he’s not doing anything, Steve. Calm down.’
‘I want to but it’s really hard to do when this guy wants to fuck you this bad.’
‘Woah! Woah! Woah! Take a step down Harrington!’ Then, as if you were burning up, Eddie jumped up and stepped back. ‘No one– there is nothing– No.’
‘We’re just friends.’ You went in to defend your best friend. Here it was; Steve’s jealous side was showing its true colours.
‘I believe you, y/n.’ Steve said, ‘it’s the Freak that I don’t trust.’
‘Steve,’ you weren’t enjoying where this was headed and wanted to break it off before it would go too far and someone would get seriously upset. But Steve’s words didn’t have that effect on Eddie, apparently. He laughed, actually.
‘No, it’s alright, y/n. I get it. I would be jealous too if I had a girlfriend like you, an unmatched ego without any skill to please a woman.’
Steve didn’t hesitate, nor did he waste a second to get up and press himself up against Eddie. They were ready to fight, you could tell as you were trying to pry yourself between them and keep whatever was happening in check.
‘Guys–’ you tried, but it all fell on deaf ears. There was only one other thing you thought of, but it felt ridiculous to say out loud, and it had a significant chance of making things even worse than they were, but the drugs were working their natural magic on you, and your verbal filter was shut off for the moment. So, you said that slightly intrusive thought when it popped up in your brain.
‘So prove it!’ You shouted while both of them were yelling something vague about being really good in bed. Those three words coming from your mouth were enough for them to halt their silly fight and look at you dumbfounded.
‘What are you talking about?’ Steve asked.
‘You’re both trying to outdo the other and you’re both saying how great you fuck, so… prove it. Both of you. Fuck me.’
‘No way.’ ‘Okay.’
They glared at each other at the sound of the other one’s answers.
‘What do you mean, “okay”?’ Steve said.
‘What, are you too pussy Harrington?’ Eddie was probably taking a greater enjoyment out of annoying Steve than he would have by having sex with you. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, and it only grew in size as he got under your boyfriend’s nerves.
‘Seriously, cut it out.’
‘I’m just following the lady’s orders, man! Can’t say no to lady!’
Steve looked at you, then at Eddie. Then back at you. He sighed slowly and wildly exaggerated before rubbing the bridge of his nose. ‘What exactly did you have in mind, y/n?’
‘I– hadn’t actually thought that far ahead,’ you admitted, ‘just thought… you guys could figure it out. So play nice and fair, and all that, figure out your own problems amongst each other.
‘And what? You would just be… doing what, exactly?’
‘Enjoying myself.’ you couldn’t keep back the smile on your face. How ridiculous it sounded; you kind of wanted it to happen now. Steve and Eddie were standing in front of you, looking at you with most likely very similar thoughts running through all your heads. Or, you hoped that while you were thinking of what they could do to you, they were thinking of what they would do to you.
‘This is insane. Actually insane.’ Steve suddenly turned around and started talking to himself. ‘I can’t believe I’m— and you’re ok with this?’ he faced you and looked you dead in the eye. The lump in your throat went down slowly, but you nodded.
‘Say it. I gotta hear you say it.’
‘Yes. I’m perfectly ok with it, Steve.’ You both looked at Eddie, who seemed, then confirmed, not to have a single issue with this plan.
‘Ok,’ Steve let out another sigh. He was about to say something before changing his mind quickly. ‘Actually, no, can you give us a moment,’ he asked Eddie and then took you by the hand and led you a few feet away from where you were standing. It wasn’t the actual privacy, as Eddie could still most likely hear what you were talking about, more so the idea of privacy while you discussed everything.
‘Right, so, seriously, what was you idea for this?’
‘I really had not thought you’d consider it, Steve,’ you laughed out of nerves, ‘I mostly just said it so you wouldn’t beat each other up. There’s no need for you to break your nose. Not again.’ That got a little smile out of Steve, but it faded with his next question:
‘This isn’t some weird scheme to just hook up with Eddie, is it?’
‘Now I want to punch you. No, Steve it really isn’t. I would have so many more and easier ways to hook up with him, and you wouldn’t even have had to know.’
‘Ok, well… wait, what?’ There had been a slight delay in Steve’s mind. You had already been walking back to the chairs when he let your words form entirely. You blew him a quick kiss.
‘Everything figured out there?’ Eddie asked when you came back.
‘Mostly, I think.’
+++++++++
You were the first one that walked upstairs. Everyone knew Steve, and Eddie stood out in his own little way, so you were the most inconspicuous of the three of you. You looked around the upstairs corridor and searched for an unoccupied and reasonably clean room. It felt wrong to be scouting for a sex room in a stranger’s house, but the adrenaline and the weed were taking over your morals that night.
The last room on the left had a made-up king-sized bed and a dresser in it; the unpersonal touch in the interior indicated to you that it was, in fact, a spare guest room, the best possible out of all them.
You sat down at the edge of the bed, ignoring the nerves coming up inside. Should you get undressed or let them have that fun? Was sitting like that ok? Or maybe they expected a little show? You had no idea what to do.
Then there was a soft knock on the other side of the room. Nervous, you jumped up to open the door yourself and, to your surprise, both men were standing in the corridor, even after you had decided it would be best for them to come in separately to not draw in any nosy bastards that were also at the party.
‘We were thinking,’ Eddie said while stepping inside the room, already making you regret leaving the two of them alone for the second time that night. ‘And we want you to put this on.’ He showed you the bandana that he had hanging from his jeans.
‘Don’t worry, it’s clean.’ He added and handed you the piece of material. It was soft and, indeed, looked clean.
‘What am I supposed to do with it, exactly?’
‘Nothing, really,’ Steve came up from behind you and took the bandana. He gently draped it in front of your eyes and tied it by the two ends behind your side. ‘It’s just for you too look pretty.’ His words send shivers down your spine. They wanted to blindfold you. Take away an entire sense for the night that would most likely end up in a lot of overstimulation.
‘We thought this would make things a bit more fair,’ Eddie sounded much closer to you than initially, his words whispered right into your ear. ‘Besides, it would calm Harrington down knowing you’re not only with him for his boyish charm and looks.’
That pulled a laugh out of you that Steve probably took slightly personally. But if so, he didn’t let that be heard. His hands, for you’d recognise his touch at any time, moved over your body as he spoke. ‘We’ll undress you now, alright, sweetheart?’
‘O-ok.’ you didn’t know where the shake in your voice was coming from.
‘And as we keep going, we’ll ask you how you feel, so it’s important you be honest with us, got it?’ Eddie was on your other side; you felt like your little Devil and Angel were talking to you, except both were absolutely filthy, and neither had much pureness in them planned for the night.
‘Yes.’
‘Good girl. Keep it up just like this.’
You didn’t know if Eddie was talking about the blindfold or your willingness to give into them. Then, both of them took a step back from you. The light was dimmed in the room, so you couldn’t see anything from behind the blindfold even if you tried. With one sense taken away from you, you tried to focus on everything else, and you could hear them shuffle around a bit, but it wasn’t possible to figure out which one of them had positioned themselves on your left and which one on your right.
A cold hand reached out for you, making you shiver from the suddenness. They moved slowly over your body before reaching for the buttons on your shirt. It was Steve’s shirt actually, an old one you borrowed before going to the party. You had been at his place, too lazy to head back to your own house to change. Never in a million years had you thought then that you would be being undressed by Steve and Eddie four hours later. The shirt was pulled off your arms, and you could hear it fall to the ground in a corner. It was thrown back there. Then either of them made a start on taking off your trousers. It was a slow, fumbly and awkward process, making you giggle as it went on, but the kisses he (whoever he in this scenario may have been) left down your leg as he pulled your jeans down made your laugh just that little bit shakier.
You were left only in your underwear then. There were moments when you could have sworn it sounded like more clothes were coming off, but in the darkness, everything got more confusing, and you couldn’t be certain of anything.
‘I really hope I’m not the only one getting naked,’ you asked nervously. They didn’t respond, verbally at least. Instead, they both took you by the hand and guided you forward. Then you felt it, two chests, skin soft and much warmer than the icy cold hands that had teased you earlier and were still holding on to you. But they let go soon after, leaving you to explore what was in front of you on your own. So you did; moving your hands up and down, you could feel both men had taken their shirts off.
Your hands moved down, expecting some kind of layers, but nothing was left. A soft belly, a hip dip– ‘Oh god, I’m sorry,’ you pulled your hands away when you realised what you had just touched.
‘It’s ok, baby,’ Steve reassured you. You took a deep breath, but it only got harder to breathe when Steve whispered his following words: ‘did you feel how hard I am for you?’
‘Yes,’ you whimpered. He was still standing there. Too far to actually be touching you, maybe just an inch or so, but you felt his presence near you. A warmth radiating off his body onto you. His breath on your shoulder. You wanted to look into his eyes, kiss him, but that wasn’t what the guys had planned, it seemed like, so you stayed put.
‘Are you gonna fuck her, Harrington, or are we just gonna stand around?’ evidently, Eddie was getting restless.
‘Way to ruin the surprise there, Munson,’ Steve groaned. Right. They didn’t want you to know who was doing what to you. That way, you’d be able to “judge” fairly. Without knowing who was doing what, you’d be able to say what felt better without feeling the need to be partial to either of them.
‘I’m sorry, was the surprise to bore your girlfriend to sleep? Is that the “freaky” shit you two are up to without me? Jesus,’ he sighed out the small curse. Then he, you assumed it was Eddie, at least, guided you over to the edge of the bed. You sat down on the mattress while the guys shuffled around a little bit, and the idea of them trying to figure out a position to stand in while naked was quite amusing to you.
Then, Steve said from the other side of the room: ‘y/n, why don’t you lie down for us, baby.’ And so you did, already anticipating what would come next– and you could feel the anxiety through your entire body. Waiting for either of them to finally touch you.
And one of them finally did. Soft and slow kisses on your thighs as hands kept you steady between him. He spread your legs gently but still let his lips trail over your legs, teasing you effortlessly.
‘Please,’ you said after what felt like an eternity. ‘I need you.’ You hoped that by saying this, you would find out who your torturer was, but not a peep came out of either man. It was a confusing situation, not being able to see the man that was pleasuring you the way that “he” was. You wanted to be able to praise them, tell them properly how much you enjoyed it, and for selfish reasons, you wanted to see it happen. The image of one of those incredibly handsome men worshipping your body– but all you saw was pitch darkness.
‘C’mon, please,’ you tried again, and it was slightly more successful this time. Your panties were pulled aside, and a little puff of air blew over your sensitive skin, hitting the nerves of your clit. And then their fingers, you still didn’t know whose fingers they were, but the feeling of them on you felt like a little piece of heaven. Maybe it was Steve, which wouldn’t surprise you– he always loved to take his time with you and use you as his little plaything– but perhaps had Eddie taken off his large rings to not give himself away too quickly. But, as much as you wanted to use logic to figure it out, it was too much. You couldn’t concentrate on figuring out who the person hovering above you was when their fingers were moving over your soaked slit.
They moved faster, rubbing circles, then slowed down, and then moved deeper with each tender stroke until you felt him stretch out your walls. A moan escaped you, too loud for your own liking. Not ten minutes had gone by, and you were already giving them this kind of satisfaction… but how could you not when they fingerfucked you so well. He sped up with each moan you made.
‘Oh my god,’ the heat that overtook your body could have come from plenty of reasons, but it was most likely the feeling of that perfect mouth between your legs. At this point, you didn’t even want to ruin the mystery, and instead of grabbing at their hair, you reached for a clump of the sheets to drag your nails over.
Apparently, that disappointment in action was shared because the person taking care of you quickly reached for your hand and placed it on top of their head. Your fingers immediately rooted themselves in their soft hair. Soft, long… different from what you were used to…
‘Fuck, Eddie,’ you moaned and, being able to say his name, slightly untied the knot in your stomach. ‘I’m- ah, fuck.’ The blindfold had little effect now, so you pulled the material off your face with your free hand. The light in the room, still dim, wasn’t blinding but took a moment to get used to. But once you did, you were greeted with the gorgeous image of a pair of deep brown eyes looking up at you, his casual smirk temporarily occupied with your slit as he sucked on it, pulling another moan out of you.
You looked around for Steve and didn’t need to search far, as he had taken a seat in the chair in the corner, his hand on his dick, and his head was thrown back.
‘Steve,’ you called out your boyfriend’s name as casually as you could while another man was eating you out. He immediately met your gaze, surprised to see your eyes uncovered. He had probably made his way over to you in less than a second, perhaps thinking you were in pain or some other discomfort, ready to help.
‘Babe–’ You didn’t let him finish his sentence. Instead, you opened your mouth and looked up at him as innocently as you could.
‘You’re gonna be the death of me,’ Steve chuckled, getting on top of the bed. ‘Absolute menace.’
‘You know it,’ you winked, and at that moment, Eddie decided to insert his fingers back into you. You moaned, looking down at him in a bit of confusion.
‘I’m feeling left out,’ he said with a faux pout.
‘I’d never forget you, Eddie.’ the smile on your face was already becoming more and more sheepish, but the fire in your stomach was far from getting blown out. Precisely because of this, you got up on your knees, startling both of your men, and sat up.
‘Something wrong?’ Eddie asked.
‘Not at all,’ you patted the spot on the mattress next to you for him to sit, and as soon as he did, you kissed him. It felt very peculiar but not wrong in any way to kiss him. The fact that Steve was right behind you didn’t shoot any alarms either, unlike you had expected it to. It should have made you feel off that you were making out with Eddie, but the worries evaporated out of your mind once you felt Steve’s hands on you, and he started kissing your neck from behind. While you cupped Eddie’s cheek in one hand, your other moved down to stroke Steve’s length, and it didn’t take long for him to moan out against you.
In the meantime, Eddie was growing harder by the second. Finally, when you looked down, you saw his dick against your leg, tip painfully red.
‘Mmm, ok, how do we want to do this, boys?’ you straight up asked them, knowing they would have their own preference to what to do. Meanwhile, you just wanted that hollow feeling between your legs to go away, not really caring who would be the one to do it.
‘I’m sure Harrington wouldn’t appreciate me using up your pussy the whole night,’ Eddie slapped his hand lightly over it, making you jump, which in turn made his smirk resurface. ‘Besides, I’ve sort of fallen in love with that mouth of yours.’ He took your lower lip between his teeth, pulling just the slightest bit before letting it go and saying, 'an’ I’m dying to find out what else it can do.’
You looked over at Steve, needing to be sure he was fine with it since he hadn’t said much. You made eye contact, and he smiled his lovely grin.
‘Are you ok with this?’ He actually asked you, ignoring your unasked question to him.
‘Absolutely.’ Your eagerness was undoubtedly high and didn’t go unnoticed.
‘Alright, calm down there,’ Steve chuckled, slapping your ass playfully, ‘I don’t think you want to show Munson just how much of a slut you are, right of the bat.’
‘I think we’re way past that point,’ Eddie joined in, and you rolled your eyes at both of them, and not wanting to continue this teasing of yours, you decided to take small control of the situation. You got down on all fours without saying a word, facing Eddie. That shut them both up fairly quickly.
Steve was the first to take action, putting his hands on your hips and aligning himself at your entrance. He loved to take his time going in, and while it usually killed you, you had a view to look at this time. The time that Steve took to tease you, you spent teasing Eddie. Fluttering your eyelashes every now and then at him with a sweet smile, biting your lip, all that dewy stuff guys drool over. You didn’t really have much experience with other guys, so you stuck your tongue out like Steve liked. It was just a bit too far to reach Eddie. Now, you would lie if you said you didn’t want him there and then, but sometimes waiting it out just a little bit could make things better.
Eddie, in the meantime, started to clump up your hair in a makeshift ponytail. He was careful and very gentle, ensuring that he didn’t pull too hard (yet) on a loose strand of hair or didn’t lose any of it from his grip.
‘Steve, please,’ you needed him to hurry up, already knowing that you were practically dripping for him.
‘You heard the lady, Harrington. Get a move on.’ Eddie’s dark eyes were practically black at that moment, filled with the need for you.
‘Don’t tell me what to do, Munson,’ Steve groaned, finally letting himself slide inside you. He did it in one swift move, stretching you out. And once that happened, he didn’t waste a second and started to move with all the strength he had in him, and through that, he managed to hit your deep spots with every thrust. His hands dug into your sides, and the way his hips met yours through his movements, you knew you’d get sore from it in the best way possible.
But Steve definitely, maybe purposefully, made it hard for you to stay up on your hands and keep your head up for Eddie.
It was like a chain reaction. First, Steve would thrust into you, and in all that ecstasy, you’d moan around Eddie’s cock, which would send all of those vibrations like electricity through his entire body. Then, either as a treat or punishment for it, he’d pull that ponytail he had worked so hard on to keep neat. He’d pull your hair, and you would tense and squeeze around his length. And just like that, in the perfect little circle of it all, Steve would respond with his pretty moans.
‘Fuck baby, you’re doing so good,’ he panted, slowing down. Eddie, however, kept up his own rhythm. It was sloppy, and you couldn’t imagine it was attractive at how he made you drool, but he kept going, hitting the back of your throat.
‘So… good,’ Eddie responded to Steve’s earlier statement. A tear rolled down your cheek, and he was quick to wipe it away with his thumb. He cursed under his breath when, once again, he managed to hit the back of your throat and make you gag. His grip on your hair tightened even more, and to add to it, Steve started to slow down his movements. Slow down, but he used all his energy to make you feel it with each move. Slow, but hard and precise. They were both close; you could feel it.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ Eddie, being new to your body and limits, pulled out.
‘It’s fine, Eds,’ you smiled at him and opened your mouth again for him. He hesitated, looked at you, then at Steve, who must have given him some kind of green light that you couldn’t see from behind you. But it wasn’t enough for Eddie, who still looked for another confirmation in you.
‘Come on, Eddie, I know you want to do it.’ You licked his tip, and it was almost enough for him to burst. Then, while Steve pushed out his last strong thrusts, Eddie spilt inside of you. Maybe it was what Steve had been trying to hold on for, as he didn’t come much later. It was by far the dirtiest moment in your life, being filled up by your boyfriend and best friend, taking in their cum like it was made for you.
Finally, they slowed down to a moment of halt. Some of Eddie’s cum spilt out of your mouth, and the realisation hit you that you were in a stranger’s bed, who would probably not be very excited at the image of those strains on their covers.
‘Ah shit, wait,’ Eddie moved away and jumped off the bed in the direction of what you presumed to be the bathroom. Steve then took on his usual “caring boyfriend” role and helped you lie down comfortably.
‘Did you cum?’ Of course, those were the first words that came out of his mouth.
‘Steve-’
‘Did you?’
‘Honestly, I don’t know. I was too occupied with the whole “two dicks inside of me” situation.’ That was probably the dumbest way you could have phrased it, but because of that same situation, you were too tired to think and sound more poetic.
‘You didn’t, did you?’ His eyes saddened immediately at the idea of neither him nor Eddie actually managing their goal. But as quickly as the spark disappeared, another kind of glint emerged in his eyes. ‘C’mere.’
‘What?’ You looked and sounded confused as he tried to pull you up.
‘Just hold onto the frame.’ He shuffled down the mattress to lie down. ‘I’m promising you, you’re not walking out of this room until you’ve come… at least twice.’ He wanted to make it up to you, clearly.
You sat up like Steve told you to, laughing to yourself, with your legs on either side of his face. The sound of your laugh was already plenty of fuel for him to get going again, and it all started again with a kiss to your core. Steve wanted to prove a point, and he was sure as hell gonna do it well.
‘Round two already?’ Eddie had just walked out of the bathroom, cold and wet towel in hand just for you and the sight that greeted him was of you sitting on Steve’s face. Something he had not prepared for but now would never want to forget. You tried to reply, but Steve was much too distracting. You were mid-moan when Steve said from between your legs:
‘This is still round one, man.’ And Eddie didn’t need to hear another word. He was just as ready to make it up to you for the rest of the night.
The End
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Love Sonnet
Pairing : Wonwoo x fem!reader
Genre : fluff, domestic, established relationship, gamer!wonwoo
Word count : 1,6k
Warning : no proof-read
Author’s note : Just another fic I wrote in one sitting on impulse. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Positive criticism, feedback, and comments are always welcome! Have a nice day or good night wherever you are!!
*****
The moment you entered your shared apartment, you walked directly to your boyfriend’s working slash gaming room, knowing very well he spent 80% of his time there when he wasn’t with you. Under normal circumstances, you would usually wash yourself, change to comfy clothes, prepare or order food for dinner, and then you eventually called him to sit and eat with you. But on occasions like today, you went home exhausted after a rough day, you only want to feel the comfort and security he never fails to provide. As you’ve expected, his eyes were focused on the screen when you entered the room. The door was left open and his back was facing you that he didn’t notice your presence until you called his name. “Won..” He instantly caught on the hint of tiredness in your voice even only from the way you called his name. Without hesitation he turned his chair to face you, leaving whatever game he was doing as he opened his arms to welcome you. “Hey, baby. Long day?” He asked with his gentle voice, pulling you to sit on his lap after you gave him a weak nod.
Jeon Wonwoo was a man of few words and might seem cold in a glance, but you knew best that he’s one of the warmest, most loving people you’ve ever known. He might not talk much, but his actions always speak louder than his words. With your face buried on his chest, he gently patted your head in the hope it would make you feel better. The two of you stayed like that in silence for a good ten minutes before he asked you softly what do you want to eat for dinner, to which you reply, “I don’t feel like eating..” Making him frown slightly. “Y/n, you had a long day, so you need to eat something to replenish your energy, you know,” he spoke in a way as if he was talking to a kid while his tender gaze never left your form. After years of dating you, he knew that you tend to lose your appetite whenever you’re stressed and tired, but he also knew how bad it is for your health, so he always tries his best to persuade you or feed you in a way or another. Not that he should be the one to say it, considering he tended to skip his meals too when he was too immersed in his game, still you appreciate his effort. “You can choose, then. I’ll just eat a bit from yours,” you muttered as you adjusted your position to nuzzle him better. “That sounds about right,” he smiled at you fondly before placing a kiss on top of your head, then wiped out his phone to order some food.
You saw a lot of memes about men complaining about their girlfriends stealing their food and you never understood because it never happens in your relationship. Wonwoo was always generous with you whether it comes to food, his clothes cause you love sleeping in his shirt, even his babies a.k.a his gaming equipment. It was a complete accident when you accidentally dropped his Nintendo switch when you were playing with it and the screen ended up getting broken from the fall. In all honesty, you’ve anticipated him to at least get annoyed by it, but you’re wrong. He was surprisingly calm as he casually took the console from you, examining your hands while asking you whether you got hurt. It was that one time, but there were other occasions where you and your clumsiness caused him problems, like that one time you accidentally deleted the progress of this new game he was working so hard to finish, still, he never gets annoyed, let alone mad at you. Now that you think about it, in five years of dating him, never once he raises his voice at you. You heard him yelling to his friends while playing a game, even cursed, which you secretly found quite hot, but none ever directed to you. That doesn't necessarily mean you never argue. Even during an argument, he chose to say nothing, which during the heat of your emotion, only annoyed you more. Yet, after a while, you casually asked him about it and he simply said that he didn’t want to say something he’d regret out of anger because hurting you is the last thing he ever wanted.
Even after he finished ordering the food, he allowed you to stay in your position while still petting your hair. The calm comforting silence and his gestures eased your stress, made you relaxed that slowly you grew rather sleepy. “Don’t sleep on me, yet. We haven’t eaten,” he chuckled lowly, tapping your cheek lightly with his gentle hand. A small whine left your lips and it only made him smile even more. Cupping your face in his hands, he made you look at him. “If you can survive until after dinner and shower, I’ll read you to sleep. How’s that?” He offered, knowing how much you love it when he read you to sleep. One thing is not only that your boyfriend is very good-looking and has a great body with tall stature, but he also has such an attractive voice which honestly is your weakness. Your eager nod made him laugh, eyes crinkled, nose scrunched adorably. “What will you read tonight tho?” You asked, looking at him with a glimpse of curiosity in your eyes. “It’s a secret,” he replied, placing a soft kiss on your lips before he stood up with you still in his arms, causing you to yelp and reflexively wrapped your arms around his neck. He held you by the back of your thighs as your legs snuggled against his waist.
Knowing how much you liked being in his arms whenever you were down, he opted to carry you around with him when he went to your door to get the food the delivery guy left. After dating for a while, Wonwoo developed this habit of carrying you around randomly, even when you weren’t having a bad day. The first time it happened, you were concerned and asked him to let you go, thinking that your weight would only tire him, yet ever since he told you that he liked the warmth and your weight in his arms with the fondest smile on his face, you couldn’t complain and allowed him doing what he likes. Besides, you enjoyed being so close to him too, so it’s a win-win. Other than sometimes he just picked you up out of the blue and it caught you off guard, you love it. During dinner, he made you sit on his lap as he ate while you would take his food from time to time. Occasionally, he would feed you too. He joined you in the bath after diner, giving you a relaxing back rub while at it as you talked about your day.
Once both of you were done brushing your teeth and slipped into comfy pajamas, he carried you to bed, this time princess style. At this point, your mood has improved significantly as you found yourself laughing along with him when he attacked you with playful kisses all the way to your shared bedroom. The moment your back met the mattress, you let out a small moan, knowing that finally you’re done for the day. He laid on his side next to you with one hand supporting his head, the other ran through your hair gently, and his eyes were lovingly observing your face. It was really comforting that you found yourself closing your eyes. “You have yet to read me tho..” You mumbled with your eyes closed, obviously sleepy but you seemed determined about having him reading you to sleep. “Okay, okay. I’ll recite you this poem,” he said, a small smile playing on his face. “Poem?” You repeated softly. “Yea. It’s a poem that reminds me of you,” he replied, placing a tender kiss on your forehead, making your lips curl up into a rather sleepy smile as you nodded.
“I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire..” He begins with the softest tone of his voice, his adoring gaze never leaving your pretty face. “I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul..” Perhaps it was his presence or simply your fatigue finally took over your body, with the first sentence he recited, his voice became more and more distant as you drifted into slumber, almost as if you fell under a sleeping spell. “I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself, and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose from the earth lives dimly in my body..” Halfway through the poem, he noticed your stable breath, smiling at the way you smiled in your sleep. Even though he knew you were no longer listening, he leaned closer to you, and with the gentlest softest whisper to your ear, he finished reciting the poem to you. The poem that he found to be summarizing his feelings for you so perfectly.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams.
―
After Note : the poem is Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda, English translation by Mark Eisner ^^
#seventeen#seventeen fluff#carat#seventeen fic#svt#svt fluff#carat writer#svt x reader#svt x you#caratblrclub#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#seventeen wonu#seventeen wonwoo#svt wonu#svt wonwoo#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo x y/n#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo x you
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𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲
Vi x reader
Sevika x reader
Warnings: violence
Words: 3.1k
Summary: You must make what seems like the hardest decision of your life, help your first love or be loyal to the lady you have mixed feelings for, all while trying to stay alive.
Note 1: My infinite thanks to @eexphoria, who is always willing to help me with English grammatical errors and makes my day with her comments every time she edits
Note 2: I swear to you that in a short time I will finish the requests that I have pending, I am slow but I comply :,(
I sincerely hope you like it, the likes and reblogs are always welcome
You ran the palms of your hands over the newly made bed trying to remove every wrinkle, until it was completely smooth, like a sky clear of clouds. It conveyed peace to you, even momentarily, as if you were not locked in a dark forbidden city of the sky and fresh air.
You heard Mr. Gogh leave a generous tip on the table near the door before leaving, he was one of the last customers of the day, at this time only the wealthiest regulars visited you, the rest didn't have enough money to squander. You adjusted your mask so that it didn't obstruct your vision and began to put everything in order in the room. If you were lucky, no one would come at the last minute and you could go home early so you could sleep on your own sheets, the ones you knew hadn't touched any body other than yours.
"Honey, the bathroom is free if you want to take a shower!" One of the girls who also worked here called you from the door. "You can get in before you leave."
You simply nodded, tempted with the idea of cleaning your body. Although you had to do it quickly, you had the advantage that the brothel had hot water, which your little apartment lacked.
It barely took you five minutes to bathe before someone knocked on the door to remind you to hurry. You walked to your room praying that no one had thought to visit you at the last minute, but unfortunately there was a small red ribbon hanging from the frame of the door, indicating that someone had already taken it. Quite heavily you adjusted your mask before entering the room.
The client was sitting on the bed that had been so carefully arranged, his back to you and hiding his head with a hood. It was not someone you have attended before, you were sure, the vast majority pounced on you as soon as you entered the room or were anxiously waiting for you on the sofa in the other corner. You didn't give too much importance to him, maybe he was a pretty shy Piltie and new to these things.
"I'm sorry if I made you wait darling," you spoke hoping that he would turn so you could see his face, but he remained in the same position, just a little tenser. "You don't have to be nervous, I assume it must be your first time in a place like that."
You used the sweetest voice you had, the one you only used at work. “ Do you have a name or would prefer a nickname?"
You climbed up the opposite side of the bed, cautiously approaching from behind. The last thing you wanted was to scare him more, but the sooner you get up your courage the sooner you could finish and go home.
"Well," He began to speak, by his voice you realized that it was a woman and not a man as you had assumed. "Most know me by Vi, but I know you have called me an idiot a handful of times."
You looked at her confused until the pieces fit perfectly in your mind when she pulled the hood down, letting you see her face.
Her hair gave her away from miles away and her face, no matter how changed, you could recognize it anywhere. But it couldn't be real, she was dead, they all were, it had to be a damn dream.
Your entire facade trying to be sexily decayed, you were petrified, you could not move a muscle or move forward in bed, you had so many questions but they all got stuck in your throat for not finishing processing what was happening.
"Wow…" she spoke again. "I admit I expected a more friendly welcome, although I'm not complaining about the clothes. You look good cupcake."
Even her way of words hadn't changed at all. "
Oh no, don't cry cupcake, I swear it was a joke — don't take it the wrong way... " You hadn't even noticed the tears escaping from your mask until she highlighted it.
You saw her get up from the bed to position herself in front of you, she must be a few inches (taller/shorter) than you, she was so different, but in a way, she retained part of her essence, like that old cut from her childhood and her eyes that remained intact. Has it really been that long since the factory explosion?
"Where were you?" Barely whispering. You watched her face crumble slightly.
"Believe me it was not my fault, I was in prison, after the factory I… I would never leave, I wouldn't leave you or Powder."
You had so many questions to ask her, but she looked so fragile, neither did the years have given her a truce. You scrambled to the edge of the bed and hugged her waist, burying your face into her chest. It didn't take long for her to reciprocate, laughing lightly at the tickle you caused her. "I also missed you so much, little one." There was a silence between the two of you. "I don't want to think about everything you had to go through alone..." Her arms tightened even more, the mask felt uncomfortable so you tore it off, your cheeks were soaked by the tears.
Vi released one of her hands to rest it on your chin, forcing you to look at her. "I promise you won't be alone again. We will be together, we will get Powder back and we will be fine." She left a kiss on your lips. "I promise." Another kiss.
You were so intoxicated with her return and the sudden affection that you didn't stop to think about her words. Powder? Fuck. It was about Jinx.
That beautiful cloud that you had climbed on with your childhood sweetheart completely burst, making you fall back on your bed and your disgusting reality. You turned your face away from the young girl with pink hair who looked at you strangely for ending that moment.
"I see there are many things you should know… Powder… Your sister..."
"Yes, I know," she interrupted you. "Silco has her, I know. That's why I need your help."
You cursed under your breath at how difficult it would be to make her aware of everything that was really happening in the lanes.
"Babette told me that Sevika is one of your most frequent clients, that you can know where to find her."
You felt a slight pinch in the heart knowing that she had not come only for you, but for the information you could give her, but you understood, after all, Powder was her little sister.
"I see, I ..."
Sevika was strange. It generated such confusing feelings, it is true that she was one of your most common clients, she visited you at least four times a week and she was the one who paid the best. You liked to pretend she wasn't a customer, when you finally convinced her sometimes she would stay in bed with you, she didn't talk too much, well she didn't really say a word, she just let you lie on her chest and listened to your everyday problems, grunting in affirmation from time to time or giggling when you rant non-stop.
Those moments felt strangely warm like you weren't working for her, and like she wasn't one of the accomplices in what happened to your family. As if she wasn't Silco's terrifying lady and right-hand man, but just Sevika.
"I don't blame you for that cupcake," Vi leaned her forehead against yours, brushing her nose. "You did what it took to survive... Like everyone else... That's why I need your help darling, tell me where I can find her."
You closed your eyes tightly to avoid looking at her, afraid that she would discover the truth, if she discovered that you had feelings for the person who had betrayed her father and been part of all the disaster in her life… She would hate you forever.
"No, you don't understand, if I tell you something she would kill me." Your whole body began to tremble, in a certain way what you were saying was real. If Vi was back, threatening Silco's reign and rumors spread that she was with you, Sevika wouldn't hesitate for a second to assassinate you.
"No, no, no, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, little one." Her strong arms surrounded you, hiding you against her again. Breathing hard, you were truly terrified, her "return from death" not only brought back your first childhood love but also returned the spotlight on Zaun's past, one in which Vander was in charge of controlling the lanes and you knew that those who were in control wouldn't like that. "Please cupcake, help me get my little sister back."
You looked down again, the sheets were scraped and crumpled on your knees, the past had appeared to wreak havoc. You were between a rock and a hard place for helping your old childhood sweetheart or being loyal to your best client for whom you had started to have feelings.
"Your sister is not a prisoner… She is with Silco because she decided so." Your old lover's arms slowly released you, then the scarcity of clothes did its job and you felt how the cold slipped through every bone of your body, although you didn't understand if it was because of the low temperature or the distanced Vi.
"She did what was necessary to survive… Like you sleeping with the one who betrayed the man who took care of you."
The second prick, this one hurt more than the previous one as it was more direct. Vi's expression softened instantly at the way you looked at her.
"Sorry, it wasn't my intention," she muttered an apology quickly. "I know I have been absent for a long time and I have no right to claim anything, but I really want you back Y/N, just like I want my sister back... You are the only ones I have left." She took your hands in hers. "Help me regain a part of my life."
You couldn't take your gaze off her eyes, they were also flooded, although they refused to let any tears escape, she looked so sincere, and the deepest part of your heart told you that she was right, they had taken everything and the least you could do is to give her a hand.
"Tomorrow," you said. "She always comes with extra money that she wins in the cards, a hidden alley a few meters from the Last Drop— I'm sure you know there, we used to hide there frequently." You felt dirty for betraying Sevika, but you knew that Vi deserved your help, after all, you were alive thanks to her and Vander, you owe to both of them.
Vi's lips returned to crash against yours with gratitude, it felt so nice, you wish you could've kept her there for hours, in your little cloud where nothing bad could happen.
"Come with me," she asked you. "Let's ..."
“No” You stopped her. “If any of Silco's men see me with you they will come here immediately, they will hurt my friends.” You caressed her face with your thumbs, stopping especially on that tattoo of her name. “I think you owe it to yourself to meet again with Jin- Powder." You corrected yourself. " You will know what to do when you see her.” She only nodded resignedly, leaving a kiss on your hands.
“I'm going to get you cupcakes again, I promise. We will be a family again."
"I know you will." You felt her lips against yours again, but this time her lips moved firmly but slowly against yours. It was still a bit rough, just like a few years ago, but it didn't take away the charm at all.
Reluctantly she separated from you before heading to the door but not before caressing your face one last time, you nodded supporting her and she ended up leaving, hiding her hair with her hood.
You were extremely shocked, too many things in a very limited time, the hope of being able to return to her side, something that you thought you would never have a chance of, but something kept hammering in your mind.
Did you really do well ratting out Sevika?
…
The next morning you continued normally, you trusted Vi's promise that she would come back for you, but in the meantime you needed to act normally as if you didn't have a knot in your chest because of that “betrayal” and you had the creeps because someone will break your face for it.
"Baby, you have a client waiting in your room." One of your companions said. You walked fearfully to the room to find what you feared the most, Sevika was there, sitting on the floor doing repairs to her arm on the small table on the side.
"For a moment I thought you wouldn't come", she welcomed you.
You repeated for the last time that you should remain calm, you gave your best smile and walked slowly to where she was, sitting next to her, supporting your body close to her healthy arm. You saw her move the fingers of her metal hand in an attempt to check if everything was in order, you also wondered if Vi had managed to find her or… if she had lost against her.
Bruises weren't abnormal for her, you really wanted to ask her about them, but you were afraid of being too obvious.
"How have you been this week? You didn't come the other day." Her body shook slightly with a slight laugh.
“A week of shit, doll.” Her arm wrapped around you, pulling you even closer. It didn't bother you at all, it was usual for your clients, but this time it felt strange. “How have you been? Did you receive any special visitors?"
All your alarms went off, your first survival instinct would have been to get away from her, but you knew it would be a certain death sentence.
"Not at all..." You lied. "The same clients as always, but they don't even reach your heels," you tried to joke. You ran one of your hands close to her face and neck but it was stopped abruptly by her metal claw, causing some discomfort to the skin, she had never used that arm when she was with you.
"You are really pretty." She complimented you, turning your hand close to her face, leaving a short kiss on the back. "And I don't think you are aware of the effect you have on me ... Which is best for both of us" You remained silent, watching her cautiously. "I ran into your old friend, Vi, I remember you two were like nails and flesh back in the old days." She rambled without looking you directly in the eye.
"Saw her? Did she come back from the dead?" You tried to lighten the atmosphere, you were fully aware that with little effort she could break your arm into pieces.
"Apparently. And I have no idea how the bitch found me." Her grip tightened, completely immobilizing your hand and cutting off blood circulation.
"Vika, y-you're hurting me," you said, but she didn't let go.
"If I ever found out that you had something to do with this… I'm going to break you darling… And it won't be cute… You're special — But I don't tolerate snitches." With that last word she released your arm to let you attend to her. It had a large dark stripe that would soon evolve to purple. You didn't have too much time before her hand, this time the flesh one was close to your chin forcing you to look at her. "I would hate to have to hurt you again, don't force me," she kissed you, "please."
"I had nothing to do with Vi, I swear," You lied to her, she didn't take her eyes off yours, for a moment you feared that she would retaliate against you, but finally her face relaxed.
"I believe you," she said.
That terrifying aura that surrounded her slowly faded away, leaving room for the woman you were used to dealing with. The one that had begun to awaken feelings that you needed to turn off. Violet was back, you didn't need Sevika, right?
“What I said before, about you being special. It's real, doll." She wasn't looking at you, but at her metallic arm, you were still a little scared to approach her side again. "I've never met someone like you... And that scares me a little. That's why if it had been you who told the bitch where to find me or Silco it would be painful."
It was the first time you heard her talk so much, normally it was you who did the talking and she listened, but at this moment you wouldn't dare to interrupt her, afraid that she would stop talking at all. "Silco would never allow snitches and if nostalgia wins him he will also come looking for you." She paused. "That's why I want you to come with me."
You held your breath with the proposal. "I have no idea what you did to me, I just know I don't love you far."
Everything froze again, living with Sevika, the idea did not displease you at all and perhaps in other circumstances they would have accepted instantly, but your recent betrayal of her and Vi's return to the city put everything in a different perspective. Not only did you run the risk that the terrifying lady would end up learning about the information you provided to your former girlfriend, but if Vi found out about this she would loathe you forever.
"I… I don't know what to say… Sevika, I have to think about it." It was the only thing that occurred to you at that moment. You saw her nod before getting up on your side, but not before leaving a bag of money on the table.
"You don't have to pay me, we didn't do anything," you told her.
"For the inconvenience, wrist and this ..." She took out a small sparkling vial under her cape. "It's for the pain." She pointed to your already slightly swollen arm. "If you end up accepting my proposal, you know you'll be much better than here, you know ... Just think about it."
And finally the great lady left, leaving you alone with a million thoughts in mind.
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HEY BESTIE I HOPE YOUR HAVING AN AMAZING DAY
CAN I GET SOME GENERAL HEADCANONS WITH SUNG JIN-WOO WITH A FEMALE S/O
FEEL FREE TO IGNORE BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
>:)
general relationship headcanons of sung jin-woo with his beloved s/o
- warnings: none! just a tad bit of nsfw implications
- audience: I made this gender neutral, i do hope that’s okay!!
- a/n: hello >:) anonnn (may i call u that? lmao-) here’s your request love!! thank you for your kind words <33 stay heathy, stay hydrated, and always rest up okay? hope you have an amazing day ahead too!!
also idk who jacob is-
-•-
: pre-awakened jin-woo (before entering the carthenon temple)
> he was always cautious, he didn't want [you] to hear the whispers going around about how you could've chosen someone better, about how you could've loved someone that was not him. thus, he was very shy and timid, always on edge when he feels the piercing stares from his batchmates -most especially when you try to initiate physical contact with him in your school or in public, you'd see him uncomfortable and so you'd immediately stop (because you respect him, ily). behind closed doors though he would always go above and beyond in pleasing you and making you feel loved, although he always doubts himself so you always make sure to give him praises and assure him that he is the one you love (not that jerk jacob from the class next door).
> he always wears spare hair ties or hair pins around his wrists in case you forget or lose yours. in fact when its weekends -and when he's not out infiltrating dungeons and positively offering his life on a silver platter- he always tries to study new hairdos and hairstyles so he can have more variations and choices when he ties or pins your hair for you. he'd always kiss the top of your head after and you'd feel his smile as he nuzzles your hair, smelling your shampoo. since his hair is also long, you'd also return the favor and tie his hair for him. his favorite would have to be the classic apple look with a pointy lock of hair erect in the middle -he really looks like a shih tzu, adorable-
> he.blushes.so.easily !!! he is very weak to praises and your lil kisses that pepper his face. you can see him glow and you even see his smile evidently becoming wider despite him shying away from you, looking downwards to avoid your loving gaze.
> he may be sht but he is also very playful towards you, teasing you and throwing pillows at you when you’re in his room, what a baby.
> often during dates he'd always need to leave early because he really needs to earn money and g to the dungeons. although you try to offer him some of your savings or your help during the dungeon raids, he'd always reject your offer, thinking of how it may burden you or the dungeon raids may possibly hurt you. you don't listen to him though, you give some of your savings to his sister when you cross paths in your school, and you'd always register after him in raids or call up someone you know to have you join in.
"(name) why are you here?!"
"angel face, i can handle myself just fine. it's my choice to help you and whether you like it or not, i've also been called for this raid. come love, we're going in."
> you'd always take his blue hoodie and wear it. he gets so shy when you smell it.
he gets frantic when you take his hoodie and start sniffing it, exclaiming; "stop! i smell weird."
you raise an eyebrow at him, "woo, you smell fine. i like it."
he tries to stutter a remark but was silenced by your smile.
> you always try to visit his mother with him and his sister, jinah. you always talk to their mother out loud and you'd see jinah smile gently at you and jin-woo trying to stop sniffles from escaping his lips by biting them and covering his face with his hoodie.
jinah: u simp
jin-woo: shut it
> he loved cuddles! but he really likes kissing your cheeks. he loves how soft they are and he loves feeling your cheeks move when you smile or laugh at his cute antics.
> he loves you so so dear
: post-awakened jin-woo (after the events of the carthenon temple)
> oh, dear it's the monarch-
> you weren't with him when he raided the "d-rank" dungeon that then turned out to be,, well pretty much a bloodbath, so you were very worried when you heard word of the news. you and jinah basically ran to the hospital and when you caught sight of him you almost fell down from relief and pure shock in seeing the state he's in. well, not long after though suddenly he's all buff and you were really trying to make sense of what's happening.
you: hello there good sir, what in the name of fck are you doing in my boyfriend’s room all sweaty and half-naked😀
jin-woo: (name) it’s me
you: haha yes, sir ‘it’s me’ that’s a pretty weird name but i don't judge, anyways my baby boy is not here uhm haha please get out of my boyfriend’s room
jin-woo: (name) it’s really me!
you: no sir, my woo radiates baby energy, you on the other hand radiates big dilf energy, haha i do not like what i am sensing so please for the life of me leave-
(jinah had to convince you that it is indeed jin-woo, you had her stop you from trying to hold his tiddies)
> you were very happy in seeing how confident he’s become, and you were even more proud with how he still says so humble despite his new accomplishments and title.
> it was obvious that he has become distant with others and have set a boundary between him and other hunters, you accept that part of him though since you know just how much he has gone through. he may act aloof towards others but he’s still very playful and comfortable with you.
> you have also noticed another thing though, he has become a bit possessive or much protective over you and jinah. he’d always have you bring a shadow with you to guard you when he can’t be with you. also, when someone stares at you for far too long, he’d step in and go, “hey there pal” and oh gosh was that enough to get the guy running (pretty damn hot)
> you still visit his mom with him, he doesn’t cry now though.
> when he trains, you’d insist on lying down below him when he does push-ups. you’d kiss him every time he swoops down and you’d hear him laugh which then makes you giggle as you hold his cheeks between your hands
> jinah is sick of the two you, always screaming about how on earth did her brother get an s/o before her, the audacity!
> his shadows adore you, of they’d always try to impress you or get head pats when you tell jin-woo to summon them for you. you live them to bits and always thanks them for a job well done in helping jin-woo with his raids. on the first time you accompanied him for a raid -you had to bribe him with more cuddles- and you were shocked with how his sweet adorable shadows turned a full 180, becoming ruthless towards the enemies. quite a show you’d say. after though, they’re back to flocking over you, even dismissing jin-woo lmao
jin-woo, watching you give each shadows head pats: i hate it here
you: get in line then
> it may be due to his newly acquired talents and his current mental and physical prowess but he has become more perceptive towards you. he can always read you and know just what your mood is and he always tries to make you feel better by giving his whole attention to you.
> of but of course, since dear jin-woo has become quite the looker, you also notice how girls flock over to him. and especially miss hae-in (she’s very sweet yes, but hey that’s your man so like—). the moment you discovered that she left her guild to join jin-woo’s, and then confessed (well basically she did) to your man, well you were upset but really who could blame her? instead of taking your frustrations out on her and your boyfriend, you decided to just talk it out with jin-woo and ask him about how it went. the two of you cleared it out and you got kisses and maybe even more after that ;))
> you and jin-ho are menaces to society when you are together, he hates how endearing and annoying you two can be. i mean, does he really hate it? nope, he absolutely loves seeing you two interact, although his head always throbs when you two start screaming to britney, gaga, and doja.
> a tease, he has become the master of being a tease, you hate it and love it at the same time. he’d trail kisses down your neck to your thighs and leave some marks then he’d suddenly walk away while asking you what take-out you want. rude, that’s what he is. ofc he always finished what he starts tho oop-
> he always randomly bites you now, you don’t know why but it’s really cute when he starts nibbling so you let him be.
> so extra when he tells you that he loves you. he professes it in such weird but adorable ways. one time he had printed out ‘i love you so much’ on a big-ass tarpaulin and had his shadows hold it for him while he’s kneeling down smoldering at you. you hate him so much (you don’t-). or that one time he bought a bouquet basket and had a ring tied to one of the flowers, you had to take the bouquet apart since the damn ring fell to the very bottom.
> sometimes when he gets back to the agency after his dungeon raids you and jin-ho would see him all grumpy and you immediately know that either he wasn’t able to make the enemy his soldier or his coat got ruined.
jin-woo: *sad noises*
jin-ho: that’s okay, you can kill and slaughter the others and take their souls next time
you: jin-ho couldn’t you have worded that better-
over-all, he’s the bestest boyfriend, such a sweet and handsome pretty boy much strong and reliable we love him<333
-•-
- a/n: i can add more to this if you’d like!! just hit me up again lmao it’s too long now so-
#sung jin woo x reader#sung jin woo#solo leveling#solo leveling x reader#manhwa#jin woo#jinwoo#sung jinwoo#winamikobabbles#sung jinwoo x reader
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