#but i aint fixen it
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Paradoxical - Chapter 7
~~~~~~
Toast is sitting in the living room, spacing out, when he feels the shift. The air in the room seems to get thicker with impending doom, the unsettling dread hitting him like an oncoming train. He sits up straighter, looking around.
Heâs home alone. Spooker and Colon left a bit ago, and are yet to return. He hasnât seen Ghost since yesterday, the thought of that alone wringing his heart out with sandpaper. The feeling doesnât go away though, the dread.
A sound from the other room spurs him into motion. He walks slowly, grabbing his gun from the coffee table on his way. He doesnât remember setting it there, but thatâs where he found it.
He moves towards the room. Some part of his brain finds it unsettling, walking like he does on the job where there could be a dangerous entity around any corner, but in his own home, where heâs supposed to be safe. He brushes it off, approaching the door to the room quietly. He gets into position outside, hand on the handle. He counts himself down.
3âŚ
2âŚ
No time for 1, he turns the handle, bursting into the room with his gun up.
Thereâs no one there. The sound persists.
He takes a deep breath, slowly wandering further in, keeping his guard up. He knows better than to relax when you hear odd sounds. He quietly tracks down the source of the sound, tense the entire time.
Eventually, after poking around several things, he finds it. Buried in the corner with the other outdated equipment, is the wigglegraph. Toast stares in confusion, watching the little arm dance up and down, recording readings that should be impossible in this day and age. He doesnât understand it.
He hears a noise outside the window. His head snaps in that direction, and he walks over.
What he sees is something that makes him question his sanity. That makes that sense of dread grip him tighter, preventing his breathing for a moment.
Outside his house, slowly shambling their way towards him, is a horde of undeads. Itâs not a small one, either. Thereâs an impossible number of them out there, all shambling towards him. Slow and easy to pick off in small groups, but a large crowd like this can be devastating.
Toast panics. He canât deal with this number of undeads on his own. So he does the only thing he knows will help him.
He runs for the control panel of the Emergency Security Systems, aptly named by Johnny Ghost. A few years ago, when Ghost was dealing with a lot of paranoia after a particularly bad job, he insisted that he and Toast put in a security system on the house. It took forever to set up, and later on Colon helped enchant it a bit more, but eventually it was made. Itâs basically a giant forcefield that goes around the house, preventing any sort of paranormal entity from getting in. Itâs the only thing Toast knows will help.
He rushes a bit in his panic to get to it, nearly falling on his ass as he turns a corner, but he does manage to get there in one piece. He fumbles with the controls, his palms already beginning to sweat. The many hours of Ghost forcing him to repeat the steps until he could do it perfectly several times over escape him for a brief moment. Muscle memory takes over, guiding his shaking hands through the steps.
The sound of the system coming to life, the green lights blaring, seem so distant. So far away. The sound is muffled as he falls to the floor, his hands pulling at his hair.
He has no idea how long it will hold, if it will at all.
He does know that if it fails, heâs dead. Toast is thankful for the umpteenth time in his life for Ghost. Sure, he can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes. Heâs too stubborn for his own good, and sometimes he gets right on Toastâs nerves and makes Toast feel like pulling his own hair out, but he can also be genuinely wonderful at times.
Sometimes.
Those moments are rare, sure, but that just means theyâre more special. They stick out more in Toastâs memory. He remembers fondly that time he and Ghost were younger, and Toast was walking across a room in an old second story when the floor gave out. Ghost freaked out so much, he didnât stop to think what he was doing. Toast just remembers Ghost yelling his name and then both of them were lying on the splintered remains of the first story floor they just crashed through, the dust settling around them. Ghost had meant to pull Toast up, but had moved too quickly on the already weak wood, sending them both through it. Ghost started genuinely laughing at how absurd it all was, and the sound was one of the most beautiful ones Toast has ever heard. He rarely hears Ghost genuinely laugh, especially these days. Toast had laughed too, too caught up in Ghostâs laugh to worry about their wellbeing for a moment.
Toast flinches a bit as he hears the cries of the undead outside the barrier, upset they canât get in. He covers his ears with his hands.
Another thing he appreciates Ghost for- His ability to distract Toast, even in the most painful or terrifying moments. Toast isnât exactly the boldest of men. He finds it hard to talk to people, which is why he and Ghost work so well together. Ghost does all the talking.
Toast remembers one time when they were young adults, just starting out in the business, when he had broken his arm. It was his own fault, really, he wasnât quite looking at where he was stepping in a particularly rickety house. Fell down a rather large hole that he later felt really stupid about missing. The pain was searing, but he can barely remember it now. All he remembers is Ghost running over to him, his face white with panic. As the two made their way back to Ghostâs old truck, Ghost would not stop talking. Not that Toast ever wanted him to.
He talked about anything and everything. Told Toast stories from his childhood- Though, Toast knew most of them already- and from the time they spent apart. Talked about people heâd met. Stupid things heâd done. He talked the whole way home, never running out of things to say. It helped Toast to forget the pain.
Itâs one thing of many Ghost is good at. Talking endlessly, to the point that you could even forget your own pain, just clinging to every word he says.
Toast thinks itâs less about the subject of the stories, and more the way Ghost speaks. He speaks with a sort of importance, demanding your attention. He has a way of sounding like he knows exactly what heâs doing even when he hasnât the slightest clue. Heâs so sure of himself at all times. Toast wishes he knew how he did it. Especially when telling stories, the demand of attention always manages to have Toast holding onto every word he says, unable to tear his eyes away. Ghost could tell Toast the sky was green and Toast would just smile and nod along, unable to disagree simply because it was Ghost, and Ghost just knows how to talk.
Toast wishes Ghost were here right now, to talk to him. Help distract him from the horror outside. Not even Spooker and Colon are here.
Heâs alone.
Endlessly alone.
~~~
âWell, that sucked,â Spooker sighs as they walk back to the car.
âIt always works in cop shows!â Colon frowns, bummed out.
âMaybe we couldnât see the records because weâre not cops?â Spooker suggests.
âMaybe, but still, Iâm sure itâs gotta be a storage unit. A house just doesnât sound right to me,â Colon says as he unlocks the car for them both, getting in.
âMaybe we should come back in cop uniforms?â Spooker shrugs, getting in as well.
âThatâs illegal, Spooks,â Colon says with a smile, starting the car.
âItâs only illegal if you get caught,â Spooker reminds him, also smiling.
âTrue,â Colon nods, starting to drive.
The two continue to talk about nonsense on their way back to the house, only stopping when Colon doesnât respond to Spookerâs last quip.
âColon-?â Spooker asks as the car comes to a sudden halt.
âSpooks, look,â Colon says quietly, staring dead ahead. Spooker looks, his eyes widening in fear.
All down the road are undead. All around the HQ, too. Theyâre everywhere.
Itâs an impossible number. The few closest to them turn towards the car lazily. Colon throws it in reverse.
âColon- Wait!â Spooker yells as Colon turns, starting to get the fuck out of there. âWhat about Toast?!â
âOh- Dang!â Colon puts the brakes on again, now a lot further. âCall him??â
Spooker nods, pulling his phone out, dialing up Toast.
Toast jumps at the sound of his phone ringing, yanking him out of his pleasant memories. He fishes it out of his pocket quietly. Upon seeing the name SPOOKER displayed, he picks up.
âSpooker?! Where are you, are you okay??â Toast asks. Without Ghost around, all Toastâs worry is being directed at other people.
âYeah, Iâm fine!â Spookerâs voice answers. âWhat about you??? There are⌠So many zombies!!â
âYes, Iâm aware,â Toast says, trying to put his calm persona back on. Itâs hard though, considering the situation heâs in.
âTheyâre all down the street- It's terrifying!â Spooker re-emphasizes.
Toast sighs. âSpooker, please- Just- Get as far away as possible, okay? Go find help.â
âHelp? We donât need help, weâre PIE!â Spooker says proudly.
Toast wishes he had the same confidence. âSpooker, please. Go. Get. Help. Do you understand me?â
âOf course, Toast!â Spooker says.
âGreat! Please do hurry though, I donât know how long this will hold,â Toast says, allowing a tiny bit of worry to slip through.
âWe will!â Spooker says, hanging up. He looks at Colon.
âSo, what did he say?â
âDoesnât matter, I have an idea on how to get in there,â Spooker says, smiling.
âWhatâs the plan?â Colon asks.
âWell- You know how in all those movies they act like zombies?â Spooker says.
The first part of the plan was pretty unpleasant. They had to smother themselves in unscenely things. To mask their âhuman smellâ, Spooker said. âThey always do it in the movies!â
Now smelling like literal garbage, they rough themselves up a bit in dirt and mud before slowly approaching the crowd. The undeads barely acknowledge them.
They continue moving through the crowd painfully slowly, doing their best not to disturb the undeads around them. One of them actually turns to look at them as they approach, but they just stop in their tracks until it turns back around.
Itâs kind of eerie, all these undead just stood calmly around the HQ. Part of Spooker thinks they should be doing something at least, but heâs glad theyâre not.
Eventually the pair make it to the barrier. They went around back, in case anyone was watching the front. They can be smart sometimes.
They reach the door, opening it and rushing inside. Once the door is closed behind them, they allow themselves to celebrate quietly. The house is dark.
Their celebration is cut short by the sound of someone cocking a shotgun.
âTurn around,â a very angry brit sounds. âSlowly.â
Spooker and Colon turn ever so slowly, shaken with fear.
When Toast sees their faces, his anger dissipates. Itâs replaced with utter disbelief.
âSpooker?? Colon?â Toast says, pointing the shotgun down.
âHi,â Spooker says quietly.
Toast is suddenly full of anger again. âOh- God da- Canât you two listen for ONCE in your lives?!?!? I told you to go get help!! Why do you NEVER listen?!!â He yells, his calm persona cracking a bit under the pressure.
Spooker shrinks a bit out of fear. Colon takes a step back. Toast never yells, unless itâs to be heard across a large distance.
âI⌠I thought weâd be stronger togetherâŚâ Spooker says quietly, trying a small smile, âYâknow⌠PIEâŚâ âSpooker-!â Toast yells, but then stops himself. He closes his eyes, balling his free hand into a tight fist. The anger seems to melt away, and he takes a deep breath. âSpooker. Thatâs⌠Sweet, honestly, it is, but I told you to get help. Now weâre just all stuck in here.â
âOhâŚâ Spooker says quietly. âI uhm⌠Didnât think this through.â
âI didnât think you did,â Toast mutters, turning away. âGo shower, you two smell horrid.â
Spooker looks at Colon, the two scampering off to the bathroom. ~~~ this is probably bad but ooh welll
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WIPs go brrr
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Yous Got My Heart
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Native American! Reader
Warnings: Minor cussing, pregnancy, mention of drugs
Summary: Two enemies sworen to hate each other for eternity until one falls for the other. Will they both totally lose themselves to love?
Jamesâs pov
Yeeeeeeehhhhhhhhaaaaaawwwwwwwwww paaaaarrrrrrrtttttttttnnnnnnneeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr *tips me cowboi hat as i ride me pony* lets get em stranglers *yeehaws a rope around seven of the guys* immma burn you folks like yous witches! Youll be nothing but ashes! Hahaha! *ties up bad guys and pours gasoline on them so theyll burn nicely* yum yum love that burnt flesh smell, am i right bois? *other cowbois yeehaw in cheer* *a sniper shoots the rope holding the bad guys together* *i look where the shot came from and itâs a lady standing there, all high and mighty*
Ur pov
This is the last yee youll haw! *my guys that were tied up start to take down the white manâs army of bois of the cow* you come on our land and slaughter OUR people! YOU will be the one getting death! REEEEEE! *my people ree back at me in cheer as the white manâs army falls back* what pusses they are! White man, your army is weak!
Jamesâs pov
They aint an army and they certainly ainât weak, lady! *i punch one of the âbadâ guys knocking him down* if anything youâre tribe is weak! You got taken by my people like it was nuthing! With your leadership, lady, youâre all bound to fail!
Ur pov
Just bc iâm a woman donât mean shite! iâm as much of a leader as you are white man!! *i ree again before shooting a warning shot at the man* leave my land now and you and your white army will still be alive! if not i will have my people slaughter and eat you!
Jamesâs pov
We will leave but that doesnât mean we wonât be back! *i whistles at bois* come on letâs go back to town! *i get onto my horse and lead my cowbois group back to town* WEâLL BE BACK
a few years later
Ur pov
So we meet again white man, but now youâre helping? we have not asked once for your white hands to taint our dirt. *i yeet some ca ca at him* Go away!
Jamesâs pov
How can i stay away when all i can think about is you? iâve thought about you everyday since we last met. youâre a strong woman and you lead with much pride. iâve already come to an agreement with chief of your tried and he said i have ur hand in marriage as long i donât spill anymore native blood.
Ur pov
My hand in marriage?!?! NO!! I will NOT be marrying a white man who has killed my people multiple time! *i hit his chest, shaking me head at the thought of marrying a white man* i will not leave my home for a settlers like yourself!
Jamesâs pov
I WONT MAKE YOU MOVE DAMNIT!! *i take in a deep breath calming me self* iâll move here for you and the buffalo. i will help protect you and the tribe. i care about youâŚ
Ur pov
Y/N. my name is Y/N and iâm sorry but i really donât think i can marry you.. *i sigh VERY loudly that it makes Shiyta(She-ya-ta) cry out* No Shiyta, my beautiful buffalo, donât be upset.
Jamesâs pov
Why would Shayuhte be upset? he is an animal and they do not have feelings. does your tribe do drugs? is that why you think Shayuhte has feeling? *i looked at her with very much confuzzled ness*
Ur pov
We donât do drugs and itâs Shiyta! white man⌠*i roll my eyes* animals do have feelings just like we do.
a few hours later
Ur pov
*i sob as i get out into the ceremonial wedding gear* I donât want to marry him! he insults us and our tribe all the time! he is stupid! Y/B/F you must halp me!
Y/B/F pov
Y/N, the white man isnât so bad..! he smells nice AND heâs willing to move here! White men never do that! i think he will take good care of you and Shiyta!
Ur pov
ughhhh he says yeehaw though. we say ree! theyâre both different! him and i are different and we will end up killing each other! *i wipe away my tears* i will kill him..
Later that night
Ur pov
*i smoke the weeds with the priest and forget about marrying the loser white man* this is soooo good man. i feel groovy! woooOoooOOooO!
Jamesâs pov
mr priest sir i think sheâs high enough. marry us pls. *i reach for the weeds and smoke a little myself as the priest marries us* this is good.
Ur pov
Jammmmmeeeessss, make out with me pls and i will marry you. i just want somebody to love me~! To love me~!
Jamesâs pov
Oof yeah okay dats enough weeds for you, Y/N. *i smooch her face* MWAH! i love you girly and not just because youâre hot but cause yous a bad bitch!
Ur pov
IMMMA BAD BITCH!! *i yeet the weeds into the priestâs face and dabs* REEEEEEEEEE! *my people ree back at me in celebration for the marriage is finally settled* WHITE MAN TAKE ME TO GROUND!!
Jamesâs pov
To ground? dontcha mean to bed cause iâm sure thatâs more comfortable and more sanitary.. buuuuuutt whatever my wueeeeen wants! *i pick her up and toss her onto some grass*
2 months later
Ur pov
Y/B/F, James got me pregnananant! DX I canât have his child! I donât wanna!!! *i sobs*
Y/B/F pov
Hey Y/N itâs gonna be okay. iâm sure heâs gonna be a good baby daddy so yous fixen to be okay. *i pats get back reassuringly* yous will be okay.
Ur pov
What if I ainât okay? what if itâs too soon to have a baby? we legit just got married eight weeks ago! *i let out a stressed filled reee*
Y/B/F
Girl. you can do this. out of everyone i know, i know that youâre the one that can do it! yous gotta believe in yourself and James. now that thats said⌠JAMESSSSSSS COME HERE!!! QUICK ITâS Y/N!!
Jamesâs pov
*i run really quick to get to my wifey and her bestie* WHATS WRONG?!?! WHAT HAPPENED!?!
Ur pov
Oh reeeeâŚ. it ainât no big deal.. Iâm just keksixkdnskdix
Jamesâs pov
Youâre what? come on girl speak my language since i have yet to learn yours. *i yank her towards me and comfort her*
Ur pov
HmmmâŚ. Iâm pregnanananant⌠NOW LET ME GO WHITE MAN! *i screech and throw a punch at him*
Jamesâs pov
O-M-G! Yous preganananananant with my baby?? Youâve made me the happiest white man ever to live in your tribe! YAAAAWHOO!!
Ur pov
Wait⌠yous happy that iâm preganananananananant? why? we havenât even been married for that long⌠doesnât this feel wayyyyy to soon?
Jamesâs pov
I am happy and it ainât too soon! yous prego with me child!
A week after having the baby
Jamesâs pov
Y/N, my son is perfect. just like you. thank you, wifey for delivering me a son.
Ur pov
O-M-G be quiet yous son is trying to sleep. *i huff loudly as i check on my son*
Jamesâs pov
*i kiss her cheek and my sonâs forehead* sorry.. I love you honey
Ur pov
I love you too, James
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER
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I disagree with that for reasons including but not limited to:
Pregnancy as a result of:
Incest
Child exploitation
Entrapment
Domestic abuse
Lack of education
Rape
Pregnancies that exacerbate:
Disability
Financial instability
Abuse
Body dysmorphia
Pregnancies that interfere with:
Religious freedom
Identity
Financial stability
Family
Economic opportunities
Safety
Etc.etc.
Love. It aint just about sex or babies or adoption. Ive know people who've had their babies, lost their babies or aborted their babies.
Having a baby is not simple. Going through a pregnancy is not simple. Its a traumatic experience, whether you want kids or not. The physical, mental and hormonal changes caused by pregnancy can be debilitating, without being deadly. And what constitutes medical necessity is subjective. And thats why women, i.e human beings with hearts and brains just like you and me should make that choice, not a government.
No one, is a loving doting mother waiting till the last second for an abortion. Having a uterus doesnt make you a vindictive self centered snake. Abortions arent easy for anyone. No one is waltzing into a doctor's office ready to choke down pills or go under anesthesia with a skip in their step. Every human alive whos had an abortion understands the consequences.
Some people shouldn't have babies. And thats it. They shouldn't have to seek your approval either. Forcing people to publicly justify medical operations is a disgusting invasion of privacy and a deliberat attack on their character.
Y'all need to shelve your sexism and hatred for women and stop treating them like they vile brainless demon spawns. This aint the garden of eden and women are not a bunch of eves fucking around for fun or spite. These are people making choices with their families and doctors. Quit projecting your insecurities onto them.
Little kids shouldn't have to forced to give birth just cuz they'll live.
Poor people shouldnt have to give birth just cuz they'll live.
Mentally or physically ill people shouldn't have to give birth just cuz they'll live.
Adoption is not a one size fits all solution to the millions of reasons an abortion is had.
And fyi since yall cant read. Poland banned all abortions. Even medically necessary ones. So can it sugarpuss. Restricive body regulations always go too far. Yall crying about some abortions always start crying about them all.
Too many people and children have suffered under bullshit conservative restrictions. Knock it off and read a fucking book. Your blacl and white glasses aint fucking fixen anything for anyone. Go fucking talk to people your creeps.
Solidarity with Polish Women.
Keep fighting the good fight.
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