#but i HIKED on a fucking MOUNTAIN for an HOUR and was COMPLETELY FINE

[fuckosexual]

my gramma took me to a 'healing waters' spa and at first i thought it was bullshit marketing like how is this chlorinated pool gonna heal me but then i went on a hike, for an HOUR, and didnt have ANY body pain while it was happening or the day after. so it fucking worked but it hasn't been long term which is to be expected but it also means like it actually is 100% possible with the right treatment for me to not actually fucking be in pain so thats a fucking win hell yeah

[mystery-moose]

DEATH STRANDING (Feb 27th)

In my quest to write down thoughts about art this year, I recently completed Hideo Kojima’s Death Stranding for the first time! I had started it twice already, but stalled out both times because I got distracted or moved onto other things.

Kojima has always been a problematic fave of mine, but Death Stranding might be my problematic favoritest of his work.

The raw gameplay loop is as perfectly calibrated, engaging, and compelling as it was when I first played it back in 2019. It is, as Tim Rogers put it, the Gran Turismo of walking simulators, though I would probably put it more accurately as “the world’s best hiking and logistics simulator.” Trekking across Icelandic wastelands and haunted volcanic plains and up and down mountains is alternately so meditative and so tense that even after a cumulative hundred hours in my save file I was still doing optional deliveries just because I enjoy traversing the world. It’s so singular and unique in the thing it’s attempting to do, and in particular with the atmosphere it’s trying to cultivate, that I can say honestly that I’ve never played anything like it. And that’s a wild thing to say about a game with a big budget these days!

But that’s what you get with Kojima. Especially with Kojima these days, unfettered by corporate oversight or monetary concerns. He wants to communicate something, and by god he’s going to do that whether you or anyone likes it or not. That’s a big reason he’s gotten the reputation he has today. And we can argue about auteurship and how it’s bullshit in collaborative mediums all day (and that’s a fine argument to have) but it’s not like Kojima didn’t put in the hours -- the dude’s been making games since 1986, and been a project lead since ‘87. We can say he got lucky once, maybe twice, but we gotta say he’s worked for his pedigree at this point.

I mean, the man made an entire game about nothing but fetch quests, and he made it fun! What the fuck, right?

That’s to say nothing about the use of music, which introduced me to some tunes that still live on my phone! Or the stark, utilitarian-but-inventive mechanical design of Yoji Shinkawa. Or its story, rooted in absurdist silliness, Tarkovsky-esque surrealism, and bizarre metaphysics, bluntly hammering its central message home even as it weaves numerous other threads (heh) into its narrative through its use of visual symbolism, textual analysis, and iconography.

Of course the pacing is a nightmare, though -- so much of the story is backloaded in the final few hours of the game, including numerous revelations that would be better served earlier in the story. And his treatment of female characters, while much better here than Metal Gear Solid V, is... well that bar is beneath the floor, frankly. I do like the women of Death Stranding, in particular Fragile (yes that’s her name, every character is named like that) but the way the camera treats Fragile in one scene that would otherwise be really powerful, and the way Mama’s subplot goes and what Kojima’s even trying to gesture towards, and then the whole deal with Bridget and Amelie... it’s all just kind of a mess.

Which is basically the story of the story of Death Stranding, really! It’s a mess! A frequently fascinating, rarely insightful, occasionally quite powerful mess, but a mess all the same. Whether or not you can look past the stuff that doesn’t work to examine the stuff that does, or are equally interested in failures and fuckups as successes, determines whether you’ll enjoy the story here. That’s how Kojima rolls, though, has been since Metal Gear Solid 2, though that game probably remains his high point for thematic fascination, if not dialogue or character writing. (Including women! Seriously, he’s only been good at it like one time!)

I’ll say, too, that if you care little for story and want to run purely on vibes, then Death Stranding might very well be for you! The vibes here are totally unique and absolutely immaculate, particularly in the audio-visual department. There is nothing quite like when one of those Low Roar songs kicks in while you’re descending a mountain toward a new city, or Silent Poets coming in as you march across a blasted plain. And again, it all feels so personal; you are listening to Kojima’s personal mixtape, a set of bands he heard that he loved and which he associated with this game he was making, and getting that kind of truly personal touch from a big-budget experience is almost impossible to find in games.

Everything in Death Stranding, for better or for worse, is the product of one man’s mind, a snapshot of the things that move him, scare him, fascinate him, make him think and feel and wonder. And they’re all things he wants YOU to think about and feel and wonder. Some of them are stupid, for sure! Others are obvious or shallow. But more than anything, they’re all honest. Death Stranding is one of the most earnest, sincere artistic expressions I’ve seen in any big-budget media, and if that interests you at all (or you’re really into traversal mechanics in games) I’d absolutely recommend it.

Or if you like to point and laugh at the man who put a guy named “Die-Hardman” into his story. Rest assured that Kojima is absolutely laughing too.

[transdike]

In response to a completely not serious cohost prompt, i wrote a 2600 heavily gundam inspired piece about 2 mech pilots hiking up a mountain.

I like it so im cross-posting it here!

Attachments Must Be Less Than 10mb!

We stopped at the base of the mountain and I checked my read-outs. Stuck into the cockpit with a wooden frame and held together with duct tape, the communications equipment that normally sat in its own tent next to the commander’s was blocking me from maneuvering my mech’s left arm. Luckily we’d stuck it in the correct position, holding the antenna ready to extend when I reached the summit. Twelve hours left until the elliptical satellite came into wide scanner range. I’d have twenty four seconds to transmit the data.

Cracking open the hatch, I swung the thick glass plates out. While I wriggled out of the cramped seat, my onboard radio squealed to life.

“Cap, everything good in there?” The Minutehand had stopped a dozen yards behind me. Jingo’s boxy stock unit had turned its head up towards me, facial sensors shielded from the harsh midday sun by its free hand. She’d spent so long fine tuning the thing that it ran almost silent, even next to a stealth model like mine.

The Minutehand models were entirely humanoid, matching the look and style of our spaceflight uniforms, with a bit of extra armor. The standard green and white color scheme that most of the Minutehands adhered to had been worn down on this unit, and the remaining white was yellowed. The cockpit glass was freshly replaced, standing out against the well traveled plating. Despite the paint, the mechanics were well maintained, joints freshly scrubbed and all the sealant was fresh.

“It’s a nine hour hike to the peak. Just taking a moment to double check the external equipment.” I ducked back inside the cockpit, out of Jingo’s sight-line.

“Okay, but are you alright, captain?” Oh god, she wanted to talk about this. I slammed the glass shut and started my mech walking. “Look, I’m real grateful for you stepping in back there, but it’s totally alright if you’re pissed at me.” I buzzed back the code for radio silence.

Forty minutes later, we were picking our way through the ruins of a village. The main road twisted up the mountain and was relatively clear of debris. Luckily, the cars were already moved off to the side, so Jingo just had to walk ahead and cut the power lines for me to pass through. My Lachrymal Actuator Stealth and Recon unit was technically capable of reducing its height, but it did so while raising the active camo, which was a drain on my power cells that we’d need to broadcast.

Getting the lines down was slow going. We had to cut each cable and make sure that it was moved clear before the LASR could pass through. With the heavy gear weighing down my left side, any slip would be catastrophic. I reopened the radio channel.

“This is real shit work, Jin,” I tried to come across as conversational, but probably couldn’t keep out the bitterness. Her Minutehand tossed the last cable onto a nearby roof and we moved up to the next pole.

“I’m not about to apologize for kicking his ass.” She cut the thinner three lines in one motion. The last line flashed with residual power that made her radio fizz with static. Sparks shot everywhere and she stumbled back, arms wheeling. I moved away, out of range of her flailing.

“Didja kill yourself, Jingo?”

“Who the FUCK is still routing power up here? This place is ancient.” I heard her coughing over the line. “And don’t give me that ‘you kill yourself?’ bull. I keep my shit properly sealed AND grounded, unlike a certain jackass we know.”

“He’s a jackass that got us stuck up here all day. Also, I distinctly remember that a lack of ass kicking was your entire problem in that exchange. If anything, you were the ass kickee,” I said as we resumed our slow march. At the next pole, the Minutehand smashed the power converter box on the side of the pole first. She didn’t respond again.

Later, deep in the tall forest that ringed the middle of the mountain, Jingo re-opened the line. We’d picked up the pace, as the higher we got the less ground level vegetation there was to worry about. I was busy monitoring my in-built visualizer, which was throwing spectrographs over the glass. We were a lot closer to the enemy lines, and they'd been known to push their patrols out this far in the past.

She opened the line, but didn't say anything for a moment. By the time she'd worked it out, however, there were three repeated spikes on the visualizer, so I buzzed for silence and brought us to a stop.

I transferred the spectrograph down to the sub-screen array that was set past my knees. It kept up the pulsing irregularity. Working fast, I added a local radio scan and a low pass decibel display next to the spectrograph. The radio scan moved steadily through bands, emitting a rhythmic static pulse through the cockpit. On the main display, I added a seismic readout. While I reached into the net pouch above my head and pulled a map, Jingo had her Minutehand crouch and ready its primary gun. That thing really was quiet, if she'd been much farther away I might have not picked up the movement.

Two, then three minutes passed while I did nothing but listen to the radio search through fuzz. The spectrograph kept picking up the same random spike, but nothing else happened. Slowly, I dialed my local radio's broadcast power supply down to essentially nothing. The signal would be too weak to pick up after more than twenty feet at most, just close enough for Jingo. I made sure our band had already been searched by the scanner and opened the channel.

“Getting an anomalous reading on the spectro, just waiting it out.” Standard Operating Procedure for this class of reading was a fifteen minute wait. I'd give it that long, but we had to keep moving.

“That's the real finicky one, right? It'll freak out if a big enough bird flies overhead,” said Jingo. That was true, but only because a big bird took up the same space on camera as an air carrier. When I'd first gotten to Earth, I had been stationed up north where geese migrate overhead in the fall. The enemy had taken to flying in a similar V shaped pattern, which meant that twice an hour we had to stop and scout for approaching mechs that weren’t coming.

I kept the line between Jingo and me open while we waited. “It really should be McArthur up here. That bitch,” I said into the air. It was stupid of her to try and attack him, but McArthur had seriously fucked up the operation with his shitty mistake.

“How do you even miscalculate seventeen hundred miles?” Jingo opened her cockpit, which was significantly smaller than mine, and was perched on the edge, stretching her arms and back. I could hear the wind coming through the radio. “It’s literally his only job. Doesn’t have to fight, doesn’t have to scout, doesn’t have to take a fucking cleaning duty. All the man has to do is math. No, but he fucks it up and we’re all out in the cold on the wrong side of the continent.” She’d swung her legs out to dangle and was chugging a canteen.

“Instead, we have to climb this mountain to get the briefest upload. If it was going to be cloudy tonight, they would have canceled it entirely. The only reason that the antenna can reach the satellite from this far off is because of some quirk in the magnetic field.”

“Did they give you the full lecture on it?”

“Naturally. Three hours with the commander and then a field test in broadcast calculations.”

“At least it was the commander and not McArthur.”

“The commander doesn’t like everyone the way she likes you, Jin.” She looked up at me. There were new lines on her face and her skin was still darker after spending the summer on the high desert campaign. I still wasn’t used to it.

“I’m simply without fault.” She grinned at me, toothy and the exact same as I remembered it.

“Then this must be a high honor, and not a tedious punishment that's making us miss the good soup day,” I said as the timer started to ring. Fifteen minutes were up. I shut down the extra sensors, Jingo closed herself back inside the chest of her Minutehand and we started again.

We chased the sunset up the peak, cresting with just enough time to see it fall below under the earth. For a second, the world was painted in a deep, full red. When it changed again to an ever cooling purple, I held the LASR’s free hand out in front of me, spreading the four fingers as wide as they’d go. Under the first finger was the woody valley where our forces were camped. Between the second and third fingers, I saw the brown speck that was the town we’d passed through. Above the third, was the last battlefield where I’d fought, when we claimed this territory. There was still a scar in the earth from the fires that had started that night. I held up my smaller hand, where the wounds I’d gotten then were fresh pink scars.

The LASR had been stabbed through, an errant lance deflected by one of our massive Hourhand units. It had swept it’s shield wide and the lance was redirected into the copse where I’d been stationed in secret to assist with coordination efforts. The lance slammed into the cockpit, stabbing metal through the flesh of my arm and pinning me to the chair. My outer casing had been shorn into three pieces, which had become tangled in a pine tree. Unable to move my hand, I couldn’t untangle the mech from where it was stuck.

When an enemy mech found me, The Lachrymal system was attempting to increase the maneuverability, but it wasn’t working fast enough. The enemy unit, what we called a Trident, raised its sidearm to me. Weeping and unable to find traction, the LASR slipped and scrabbled trying to flee. The trident’s white metal shoulders tensed as it readied to fire— when it was slammed into by a silent Minutehand. The second convoy, returning from a long campaign in the south. The paint had been sandblasted off along the edges, and its cockpit glass was cracked in a long line.

Under my last finger was Jingo, picking her way carefully up the rocky slope. With her shorter legs, the rocks took longer to navigate, and I had to stop every few dozen meters to wait for her. Lowering the LASR’s hand, I took out the map and compass. It wobbled and twisted before pointing north, just like the Commander had shown me. We were there. I marked the spot on the map with a marker for later reference. The sun finished setting and it was suddenly dark. I switched the radio on.

“We’re here.” I stabilized the legs and set the map back in its pouch, removing a bundle of papers. The instructions for running the comms equipment was long, but we had very carefully labeled everything at the camp.

“Finally. Good if I climb out, stretch the legs a bit, captain?” I assented and Jingo lowered herself the twenty feet from the cockpit to the ground with a field winch. “My fucking legs… how do they expect me to sit in that thing all day if there’s not even leg room?” She bounced on the balls of her feet, talking into the handheld. “Hey, I could send in a complaint to central command, get the design division on it— oh wait, no we have to wait months before the next upload. Damn McArthur.”

“It wouldn’t be months between uploads if the enemy wasn't so fond of blowing our satellites out of the sky.” I hit the green series of switches to extend the antenna mast. The grounding spike inserted itself a foot into the dirt. “We have to use the elliptical satellites because of them, since they aren’t around long enough to get a stable target-lock on.” One more green switch locked it in place.

“I know that. Fuck those guys too,” said Jingo, laying back on a rock with her arms behind her head. I flipped the page to the yellow label checks. Main power, auxiliary power, and distributor came online. Gauges swung into position and the backlights turned on.

“You plan on fighting the whole world?”

“Just anyone who keeps me from talking to my kid.” Shit. It was so easy to forget that Jingo had a daughter back on her home station. Even after the summer campaign she was so lively that she seemed younger than most of the people they fought with. Now, I remembered that her entire family lived aboard the distant Lagrange-4 Helen Station.

“If they hadn’t encrypted the file already,” I said, pausing at the last yellow label toggle. The Commander had given me the file, compressed and encrypted enough that we could get the whole report broadcast in the short window.

“It’s locked in. I get it.”

Next page, red labels. Prep the scanner and fine tune the range. Start a ping-broadcast to confirm connection. I looked down at the paper. Next on the list was to set the connector to the temp-server that housed the file.

“I doubt they even got many images in there, let alone video.”

“Whatever it is, they sure needed every last byte.” Jingo sighed. I pulled up the file on one of my auxiliary screens. Ten Megabytes reporting on half a year's military action. Usually, they all got to record video to send home, alongside any personal letters. I hovered the cursor over the file, staring at the file size. Huh.

“Hey, Jin… Hey, I have a bad idea.”

After the broadcast, we ate dinner. The Minutehand dug out a pit for us to light a fire and we roasted our meal over the coals. I poured a little boiling water over my dehydrated meat and added an excessive amount of salt in a sad imitation of the stew we were missing back at base camp. Jingo let hers soak cold and then fried it on a hot rock using the fish oil supplements no one ever took.

Far, far above us, a tiny little metal can was busy processing the file it had received from the terrestrial complement. In another twenty hours it would leave the earth and again sail back out into space. Returning to its apogee, the satellite would transmit the data on to the waiting battleship. Whereupon, the ship would carry the file to the closest station, L-2 Webb. The decryption tech would have it ready for them at their desk when their shift began. Someone along the way would have to care, beyond just to punish us, and take the time to remember the name. Maybe while the high councils were reviewing the decrypted information the tech would be making a directory search, curious.

I swung the keyboard out to face the open hatch of the LASR, where Jingo had climbed up to meet me. Her face was lit by the screens that surrounded us. She was slow on the keyboard, and wasn't using all of her fingers. When she was done she handed the keyboard back to me and I hit enter. Red label, connect the wire to the server. The Ping came back and started the upload. The lights dimmed as the antenna surged with electricity.

“It’s a long shot that anyone will actually find her.”

“Worth trying for?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Captain.”

Happy_Birthday_Lauralie_Jino.ENC finished its upload to the stars.

[kittykatinabag]

Cab driver today asked if I had any plans for Christmas. I told him I don't and he was a bit flabbergasted.

The only thing I could respond with was "I'm used to it"

But that's a lie. I'm not used to it. I'm really quite bummed about missing another year of Christmas. I haven't seen any of my family's faces beyond the occasional post or picture sent. I guess we could video call but I don't like video calling because (probably autistic) reasons.

And I'm fighting the urge to blame myself for not thinking ahead and making plans way earlier in the year. But I was kind of in the midst of a depression slump. Still am, I can feel it in my mind and body. At least the anxiety is not that bad, and when it is bad I know how to control and get through it rather quickly. I just wish those techniques worked with the depression at a more consistent scale.

If there's anything that's settling into a bitter taste on my tongue about this last year and few months, it's that I'm both coming back in one sense with nothing physical to show for it (I don't care about this but this seems to be the lens most people understand the world through), but I'm also not coming back with some big ass trauma like I had after undergrad was done. There's some trauma there, but it's more of an extension of past trauma or a continuation of the constant trauma of living in a capitalistic society/the calamities of this reality. It's nothing world altering in my eyes right now.

That kind of annoys me. If I'm going to fail, at least let me have another god damn mountain to climb up and over. I've done this hike before, multiple times. Part of me wants to be able to shake a manifestation of the last year and few months scream "just let me get hurt, just let me feel the fucking pain!"

That's probably something I should go deeper into if I ever get the will to go back to therapy. But fuck after the shit show that was my therapist here, the thought of not only finding another person but also having to sit through what seems like 6-8 weeks of bullshitting around to figure out if they're actually a decent therapist or not sounds like a waste of everyone's time (but mostly mine).

I don't want to keep blaming my environment for how I've been feeling for the past however many months. But fuck, do I currently hate the dwelling I've been living in. I'll go into the city or somewhere and feel completely fine, good even. Then I'll get tired because walking around outside, it's windy and chilly, lots of people about- the usual. So I get back on the fucking hour tram ride back to this apartment that's in the middle of no man's land, only to get back to a dirty apartment (that I cleaned the previous day, so not even 24 hours of cleanliness), sometimes my flat mate's kid(s) are there and I lose psychic damage every hour they're in the place, and sometimes my other flat mate will have her friends over (they're nice enough on the surface but they're also mostly heavy drinkers, extroverts, and not my crowd 95% of the time). But there's always people here. Even when I'm home alone, it doesn't feel like a good place to just relax. Because by the time evening rolls around, people are back, and my flat mate slams every fucking door when she's back. She was this way at the university dorms too, and I get so fucking stressed when doors slam because it reminds me that for both me and my family, being loud is how we end up being when we're angry and hurt and the sounds of slamming doors is one way that comes out. Also sudden loud noise = stressful in most circumstances. She does this at any time, even at like 1am. It's almost as infuriating as her shit dishwashing skills.

I won't even get into the constant annoyances that is my other flat mate because he is simply summed up by the fact that he's in his early 40s, divorced with two kids from two different women and still single, and is less competent in cooking and cleaning than most of my friends when they were 20. Also he's misogynistic and a functioning alcoholic who does not recognize he's a functioning alcoholic.

I have had the patience of a deity, but even a deity ends up smiting some people. I'm just surprised and a little proud that I haven't blown up on them. But yeah I might cry when I get back to my parents house to see that the only thing not clean is the cat hair that kind of never goes away fully. And I'm okay with that because it's cats.

[cali-holland]

Under the Stars- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: When you invite Tom and Harrison to go to a cabin in the woods with your old college friends, Tom devises a plan to finally confess his feelings for you. Little does he know, the cabin belongs to your ex-boyfriend, and he’s also seeking your attention this week.

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: slow burn (ish), swearing, sexual themes (jokes/references), the reader kinda gets sexually harassed (nothing actually happens), fist fight + some blood, tom being a simp

A/N: this was a nine month process, so i hope you enjoy :) also thank you to @duskholland​ for being so supportive and reading through this fic and editing it. love you hannah! + Also reposting this because the tags didn’t work the first time :/ and tag list will be in a reblog!

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

*Moodboard is mine, pics used are not *

~~~

When you walked into Tom and Harrison’s house, you weren’t expecting to hear odd grunts coming from the living room. You’d heard many strange noises made in that house— a good amount of their sources were still unknown, but you’d never heard such aggressive grunts. For a moment, you considered slowly backing out of the house and knocking on the door. It would be easy to pretend like you didn’t have a key so you didn’t have to walk in on anyone doing anything gross in the other room.

But then Harrison walked into the entryway, smiling at you as a greeting, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey,” You replied, closing the front door hesitantly behind you. You pointed towards the living room, “Do I wanna know what’s going on in there?”

Before he could reply, there was a loud bang from the living room, followed by a string of curses. Forgetting all worries of what may or may not have been the cause of the noises, you hurried into the other room with Harrison trailing behind you.

Tom laid on the floor, groaning in pain as he clutched his foot. Tessa, who had been checking up on her owner, popped up happily when she saw you, rushing over to greet you at your feet. Tom looked up at you and Harrison in the door, forcing out his best smile. You stared at the large tent that was currently taking up most of the space in the living room, questioningly.

“Why do you have a tent set up?” You asked. Tom hopped up off the floor, standing beside the tent.

“Well, our camping trip is this weekend, so I thought I’d make sure it’s still durable.” Tom said proudly. He put a hand against the tent in an attempt to be smooth, but the tent came collapsing down, making Tessa bolt behind you from the sudden loud noise.

“And he wanted to make sure he could actually set up a tent, which clearly he can’t,” Harrison stated, and Tom glared at him in response.

“Were you going to tell him?” You laughed, turning to the blond beside you.

“And miss the opportunity to see him struggle setting up a tent for forty minutes? No, I didn’t tell him.” He smirked, only making Tom more frustrated and embarrassed.

“Tom, it’s a cabin. You don’t need a tent unless you don’t want to stay with everyone else.” You explained. “I just said camping because it’s easier to call it that.”

“Fuck you, mate.” He grumbled to Harrison, flipping him off before starting to put away the mess of a tent. You stepped in to help him, and Harrison just laughed to himself before leaving.

“I really thought you would’ve known. Did you really think I’d invite you and Harrison to spend several days in the woods with me and my college friends in tents?” You joked, “Besides, I didn’t think you’d come if it was actual camping.”

Tom paused his movements, but you continued to undo the poles, taking no notice of his action, “Why wouldn’t I go if it was actual camping?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, looking at him with your usual charming smile, “You’re not the outdoorsy, camping type. You don’t exactly go out and rough it in the woods on the weekend, like Will or Tyler; you play golf with Harrison and your dad.”

While your words were well-intended and teasing, Tom couldn’t help but take them to heart. He took everything you said to heart.

It was hard for him to be so helplessly in love with you, his best friend (besides Harrison) from BRIT school, for the past few years while you were completely blind to it. Normally, he’d do little things to impress you because he still wasn’t sure if he wanted you to know about his feelings— if you knew, there was a chance you’d reject him, and Tom wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that happened. Recently though, he’s started to feel like his heart was going to explode if he didn’t tell you soon, but that didn’t mean he knew how to tell you.

So when you asked if he wanted to go on a camping trip with you, of course he said yes right away. His mind told him that, no, he really wasn’t the outdoorsy, “roughing it” kind of guy, but his heart told him it was a chance with you. He was a sap and thought that maybe he’d pluck up the courage to tell you how he felt under a moonlit campsite, maybe even the two of you could share a tent, maybe he could kiss you in the lake— god, did he want to kiss you.

That had all come crashing down when he’d realized it wasn’t a romantic camping getaway. You’d invited Harrison and a few college friends, friends that neither Tom nor Harrison had ever met. And there was one friend in particular who Tom never wanted to meet— Will, your ex-boyfriend. You two ended things mutually, but Tom couldn’t stop himself from feeling like he needed to compete against Will, especially when he discovered it was Will whose family owned the land you’d be camping on; Will who took you on hikes all around your college town; Will who taught you how to fish and how to kayak with the lakes nearby; Will who one time got bitten by a rattlesnake and sucked out the venom himself; Will who could climb any mountain and come back unscathed. Will was an outdoorsy “roughing it” badass fucker that Tom despised.

And now, you had just furthered proved that Tom was a delicate flower compared to the lumberjack prick that was Will. He didn’t care about being compared to Will’s best friend, Tyler, who (from what you’d told Tom) was in a serious relationship with your other friend, Jane. Besides Jane, the other person accompanying you all to the cabin was Rose, your best friend and Will’s sister. Needless to say, Tom was very grateful that Harrison was coming along too— he didn’t think he could handle a Will-centered week alone.

“We can just leave this for now. I know I promised you Nando’s before we leave.” Tom said, getting up from his spot on the floor.

“Are you sure? We can just get it on the way to the airport.” You said, looking at the tent mess before you.

��Come on, it’ll be fine.” He held a hand out to you and you took it, so that he could pull you up. Before you two could make it out the door, Harrison arrived downstairs with a loaded hiking backpack in hand.

“I know you’re not trying to sneak to Nando’s without me.” He said, and Tom glared at him from behind your back. Harrison was very well aware of Tom’s feelings for you— everyone was except for you, and he took every chance he could get at being a little shit about it, which included ruining quality time for Tom to spend with you.

The three of you left to grab your last meal in the UK before heading back to their house. Tom finished putting away the tent, and Harrison loaded up Harry’s car with your bags as well as his and Tom’s. Harry (through bribery from Tom) drove you all to the airport for the first step in your camping trip.

Since you went to school in the US, all of your friends would be meeting you across the pond. Will’s family cabin was located in Maine, so the flight wasn’t too bad for the three of you— though Tom wished it was longer so he could devise a more accurate plan to impress you this weekend. He had to prove that he could be the outdoorsy badass guy you wanted. He had to outcompete Will.

“Why would you have to outcompete him?” Harrison asked Tom after hearing his dilemma. Fortunately, you were getting the rental car for the three of you to make it to the cabin.

“Because it’s clearly a competition.” Tom stated, nervously fidgeting with his fingers as he looked over at you across the way. “She told me I’m not outdoorsy like Will- that makes it a competition and I have to beat him.”

As much as Harrison loved to see his friend fail at keeping it together around you, something felt wrong about telling him, ‘yeah, it’s totally a competition, so go beat up her lumberjack ex’. Instead, he tried, “I don’t think that’s what Y/N meant. You do golf more than you go camping.”

But Tom took no notice of his advice, “Just watch. I’m going to be the manliest man this weekend.”

“Hey guys,” You smiled, coming up to them, making Tom jump very unmanly-like in the process. “You ready to go?”

The journey to the cabin was a fairly long one. After a couple of hours of driving, you parked the car in one of those reserved parking lots off the side of the road. Tom and Harrison both looked around in confusion, spotting nothing but trees and a gas station.

“Why are we stopped?” Tom asked you as you got out of the car. Tom and Harrison followed you out of the car.

“We gotta hike in.” You replied. “The cabin’s down by the lake, so there’s no actual road to get there. It’s only about a mile and a half hike in. Be ready for lots of hiking. I think tomorrow we’re going to hike 12 miles.”

By the time you three got to the little a-frame cabin, it was already dinner time, which was great because that meant you three could sleep soon. The five hour time difference was already starting to hit. Before you could even step inside the cabin, your best friend met you with a bone-crushing hug.

“You’re here!” Rose smiled, stepping out of the hug after a moment.

“We made it.” You laughed. Your other friend, Jane, stepped up next to hug you. “I missed you two so much.”

“We missed you too.” Jane replied. You caught their eyes trailing over to Tom and Harrison behind you, and you remembered that they hadn’t met before. 

“Oh, girls, this is Tom and Harrison; guys, this is Rose and Jane.” You introduced the two parties with a smile. After a polite exchanging of handshakes, you looked at the two girls curiously, “Where are the boys?”

“Will wanted to get in a light swim before dinner.” Rose laughed, and Jane made her way back to the kitchen. “Come on, I’ll show you your rooms.”

Rose gave the three of you a little tour of the cabin. The front door had placed you all in a little entryway room with a simple, wooden staircase taking up most of the room; a fireplace sat beside the stairs with a small loveseat across from it. Besides a rather large bookshelf, it was relatively empty, but elegantly simple nonetheless. There were four doors downstairs, all intricately designed with the same light wood color as the stairs. The first door on the left was explained to be Will’s room, and the second was Tyler and Jane’s. The third stood as the main bathroom, as Rose described it. The fourth door led to Tom and Harrison’s room.

It wasn’t very big— neither of the rooms were according to Rose, but that was the a-frame style of a quaint log cabin. A bunk bed sat on the side of the room with a small wood dresser across from it. There was enough space for the two boys to coexist, and Tom was just grateful he didn’t have to bunk with Will of all people; he was glad he had his best friend with him.

The upstairs of the cabin held the open space of the kitchen and the main living room. With large glass windows covering one of the walls, the living room had a magnificent view of the woods outside, and three couches were set in place to overlook it. Under the couches sat a large bear rug, one which both Tom and Harrison eyed suspiciously at first before Rose laughed it off, reassuring them that it was fake. Behind the couches, the dining room was situated beneath a beautiful antler chandelier and set for eight places, completing the rustic vibe of the cabin. The kitchen, while it was small, seemed to be just as well put together as the rest of the cabin, complete with a breakfast bar. The smell of Jane’s favorite lemon salmon filled the air, making you even more excited for dinner.

Next was your own room, which was just past the kitchen. A queen bed was pushed in a nook with only the foot of the bed accessible. Unlike Tom and Harrison, you and Rose didn’t mind sharing a bed, which is why they got the smallest room downstairs. Right beside your bedroom door was another bathroom.

“You brought stuff for s’mores, right?” You asked Rose as you walked with her, Tom, and Harrison off the cabin’s porch to the nearby shed where they kept all of their hiking and lake gear.

“Yes, absolutely!” She eagerly replied, a happy skip in her step.

“S’mores are a real thing?” Tom questioned in disbelief.

“Of course! You can’t camp without—” You let out a shriek as you felt cold, wet arms wrap around your waist, picking you up and spinning you around. You laughed, immediately knowing it was Will. “Oh my god, Will! Put me down! You’re all wet.”

Will chuckled, setting you back down on the solid ground, “Well, if it gets you wet.”

“Fuck off.” You scoffed, smacking his chest playfully. It was then that you realized he was shirtless— shirtless and dripping wet from the lake and gloriously tan and somehow more built than the last time you saw him. Tyler, on the other hand, was still Tyler; still an attractive young guy, but not attractive to you and that most likely has to do with him dating Jane for as long as you’ve known him.

“Ty!” You smiled, hugging him tightly, not even caring if your clothes got wet and gross anymore. You’d just change later when you could.

Tom straightened up a bit, already feeling uneasy about Will’s presence. Will looked like the lovechild of Zac Efron and Chris Evans, with a hint of Scott Eastwood; he was perfect, there was nothing wrong with him. It made Tom question why you two broke up. Even though Tom knew you’d said it was mutual, he also knew it took a lot for girls to walk away from guys that look like that. Meanwhile, Harrison just bit his lip to keep from commenting on his friend’s ridiculous territorial issues. 

“So, you two must be Tom and Harrison.” Will held out a hand to them, smiling politely. Tom took his hand, trying to subtly shake it sternly as if to prove he was better than Will— childish, Tom knew it, but he already hated this guy with his six pack abs and perfectly white smile. Will didn’t back down though, squeezing Tom’s hand equally as hard. Noticing both guys tensing up, you looked between them awkwardly, having never seen either of them put on the tough guy act.

With introductions out of the way, you all trekked back inside the cabin. While Will, Tyler, and even you changed into dry clothes, Rose helped Jane finish dinner, leaving Tom to frustratedly rant to Harrison in their room.

“God, he’s so annoying.” Tom scoffed.

“He said two words to you.” Harrison stated, “Try to play nice. I don’t think Y/N wants you two to keep having a ‘my dick’s bigger’ contest.”

“But mine is and I know it!” He exclaimed, before realizing he didn’t know how thin the walls were- and how odd that implication was, “Whatever. He’s stupid. This trip’s stupid.”

Harrison was too busy laughing  to even attempt a response to his friend. Instead, there was a knock on the door, pulling both of them from their conversation. Tom opened the door and immediately softened when he saw you, clad in one of his old sweatshirts that he didn’t even realize you still had. It gave him a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t need to worry that much about Will this week.

“Nice shirt.” Tom commented with a smile.

“Thanks,” You smiled back, “I’ve actually been meaning to give it back to you.”

“What? Why?”

“Is dinner ready?” Harrison asked, cutting off the two of you and reminding you both of his presence. As if on cue, his stomach growled loudly.

“Yes, it is.” You laughed, almost embarrassed from forgetting why you had been at their door in the first place. You tugged on Tom’s hand, pulling him out of the room. Harrison grumbled something dejectedly, but you paid no mind to it. Tom sent his friend an apologetic look, though he made no attempt to make Harrison any less of the unofficial third wheel on the journey upstairs to the dinner table.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Tom how you sat beside Will, even if Tom got the free seat beside you. Harrison slipped into the seat next to him with Rose to his right. The dinner of salmon with potatoes, salad, and bread seemed simple enough, but it was still quite possibly the best fish you’d ever had.

“Did you get a bone?” You asked Tom, seeing him awkwardly moving his mouth like his tongue was fishing out a hard piece of salmon. Blushing from you calling attention to his struggle, he held up a napkin to cover his mouth, trying to spit out the bone without it looking too gross.

“Yeah,” He admitted sheepishly, muffled by the napkin.

“I thought you got them all out.” Jane said, looking at Tyler expectantly.

“Don’t look at me, that was Will’s job.” Tyler laughed as he used his friend as the scapegoat.

“Must’ve missed one.” Will shrugged, before joking, “You’re still welcome that I caught these.”

“You caught this salmon?” You said, “I thought you only did catch and release?”

“I still do, for the most part, but this salmon was too good of an opportunity to pass up.” He explained. Tom was already boiling with embarrassment, and now he had jealousy bubbling over- of course this perfect fish was caught by the perfect outdoor man beside you.

“So, Tom, Harrison, we were talking about going for a run around the lake tomorrow morning. Want to come?” Tyler asked.

“Sure. How far?” Harrison replied, and Tom nodded in agreement.

“The loop’s about five miles.” Will answered.

“Are you going to run with us?” Tom asked you, knowing back home in Kingston you’d sometimes join Harrison on runs. Tom wasn’t the type to just go out for a casual run like his best friend was, but he wasn’t about to back down from this.

“Nah, you two can keep up with the cross country runners.” You joked, “I’d much rather save my energy for the hike.”

Once dinner ended and no one choked on any more fishbones, you all migrated to the couches. Much to Tom’s chagrin, you sat in the middle couch between Will and Rose, while Tom and Harrison sat on the couch opposite a very cuddled up Jane and Tyler. The fireplace in the corner crackled, keeping the room comfortably warm. When Rose suggested you all play charades, the entertainment for the evening was decided, especially considering the cabin had very weak cell-signal and no television.

“What are the teams?” You asked, sitting dead in the middle of everyone with three friends to your left and three to your right.

“Let’s do 3 against 4, so you choose who you wanna be with, Y/N.” Jane suggested as Rose stood up to get a boxed set of charade cards from the game cabinet near the kitchen. You looked between the two sets of friends. You wanted to lean towards Tom, Harrison, and Rose, because the two boys were incredible at charades, and Rose was your go-to partner for Password at least.

“Come on, you know you wanna be with us.” Will teased, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

“Just for that, nope.” You laughed and took his arm off you. You stood up from that couch and squeezed in between Tom and the arm. To make room for you and to mock Will, Tom casually put his arm on your shoulder and you made no effort to take it off.

Rose returned with the box of cards and the game began with you and Jane pantomiming first. The words ranged from silly ones like centipede to more inventive ones like lapdance; either way, you all were laughing and enjoying the evening. Tom was highly appreciative of the humor because more than once, you laughed so hard that you fell into him, clutching his knee or completely falling over into his lap. It wasn’t anything out of the usual for him to see you so effortlessly happy, but he enjoyed all the little touches.

“Okay, okay.” You breathed out, doing your best to compose yourself. You stood up from the couch with Tyler so that you two could read the answer and continue the round. Reading over the card, “Catch 22”, you began to think about what you could do to act out the card. As if it wasn’t impossible enough to describe it with words, you had to act it out. But then the lightbulb went off- you had a secret advantage and he was sitting right in front of you, as long as he could figure it out.

“Ready?” Tyler asked you nervously, and you nodded. Tyler started with the usual way of beginning: how many words and what it is. You immediately pointed at Harrison.

“Me?” Harrison spoke in confusion, and you nodded before pointing to your stomach, doing your best to act his death from the series.

“Catch 22?” Tom offered, and Harrison looked at him dumbfounded, still trying to connect how it was him as your main clue.

“Ah, thank god.” You smiled, cheering as he guessed it right. Tyler and the others sighed.

“How the fuck did you get that?” Jane questioned.

“Haz, here, was in the show.” Tom replied, proud of his friend. You were surprised by your college friends’ collective shock, but you were most intrigued by Rose’s reaction.

“Oh my god, I thought you looked familiar.” She said, impressed.

“Wait, you actually saw it?” Harrison asked.

“Yeah, I think I might have cried when you died.” She admitted, brushing a loose hair behind her ear, and that’s when it clicked for you- she was totally into Harrison.

“And you’re an actor too, Tom, right?” Will spoke up, casually taking a drink of his beer. You eyed him skeptically; he knew Tom was an actor. Back when you two were dating, you’d talk about your best friend’s accomplishments, so why was he now asking? Your only answer was it would clearly get a rise out of, at least, you, if not Tom as well.

“Yeah, only been in little indie movies. Nothing anyone’s heard of.” Tom played it off jokingly, causing you to smack him on the arm a little, your hand resting on his bicep.

“My mom loves that movie you did with Ewan McGregor.” Rose commented.

“Ah yeah,” Will laughed, “The one where you’re like 12.”

“I wasn’t 12, but thank you.” Tom replied sarcastically, and you could tell he was biting back a scoff. 

“Well, we’ve all seen the Marvel movies so you can brag a little about those.” You teased, making him blush.

“I know I cried when everyone was getting dusted.” Jane stated in a way to poke fun at Rose’s previous words.

“Never saw them.” Will shrugged carelessly.

“Yes, you did.” You corrected him immediately, and you felt Tom tense a little under your touch. While Tom liked that you were being supportive about this, he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.

Will acknowledged Tom’s clenched jaw and decided to press it a bit further, “Babe, if you’re talking about Infinity War, then, no, I didn’t pay attention.” He chuckled, “Don’t you remember we were in the middle of something?”

Tom wondered, at first, what he meant exactly. You dropped your hand from Tom’s arm and covered your face in embarrassment, but before you could comment, Rose let out a whine, “Gross, I was right next to you two.”

“Not like you’ve never gotten it on in a movie theater.” Tyler joked.

“Can we please not talk about this?” You groaned, getting up from the couch. “I’m going to bed. I’m tired.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Jane stated as she stood up with a yawn. You closed your door, escaping to the privacy of your room, not wanting to think about how your ex just told everyone about that night- in your defense, you’d already seen the movie before so you weren’t missing anything.

Tyler and Will followed after Jane, leaving Tom, Harrison and Rose as they cleaned up the few cards that were left out. Feeling the awkwardness radiating off of Tom, Rose delicately spoke up, “Will’s just being a dick.”

“It’s fine.” Tom reassured her.

“Did you really cry when I died?” Harrison asked her the question that’d been on his mind since the second she’d made the comment. They started talking about the show, and Tom took that as a sign to leave. He thought for a moment about knocking on your door and checking in on you, but then he realized it might be too uncomfortable for you to talk about. There were times, like tonight with charades, that Tom considered maybe you liked him back, based on all your little touches here and there, but then, with Will’s comments floating around his mind, his thoughts were plagued by the doom of the friendzone. Tom didn’t know if he’d be able to sleep tonight knowing that you and your annoying ex ‘got it on’ in the theater during his own movie- what if he was dying on screen but you were too enraptured in Will to cry like Rose had cried over Harrison dying?

Tom only had a few minutes to himself before Harrison came back into their shared room, asking him, “How’re you feeling about the run tomorrow?”

“It’s going to kill me.” Tom sighed, and Harrison shrugged before climbing into the top bunk.

“Should’ve been running with me.” He laughed, “It’s not even that far.”

“I haven’t run five straight miles since Jake nearly killed me at the gym.” He replied, tidying up his bag.

“Why are you cleaning?” Harrison asked, looking down at his friend. “Are you worried Y/N’s going to come into the room or something?”

“Shove off.” Tom grumbled. Harrison took off his sweaty socks that he’d neglected to remove before getting into his bed and threw them down at his friend. One missed Tom completely, and the other clung to his shoulder. “That’s fucking gross.”

“If you’re cleaning, then clean them up.” He snickered. Tom threw the sock back at his friend, but it missed and weakly fell to the ground. A knock came from the other side of the door, and Tom opened it, smiling when he saw it was you, his absolute favorite person on this godforsaken trip. While you looked rather cute in your casual summer pajamas, he frowned when he saw his sweatshirt in your hands.

“Are you returning it?” He asked, and you laughed.

“It doesn’t smell like you anymore.” You said quietly, hoping Harrison didn’t hear your words. You held it out to Tom, “I figured I can give it back to you for a time, and then steal it once it smells like you again.”

“Wait a second.” Tom took the sweatshirt from you and disappeared into the room, rummaging through his once neat backpack to grab out another sweatshirt. He handed it to you, “Maybe this could suffice for now?”

Smiling, you sniffed it a little before tugging it on, “Thanks. It’s so cold upstairs, I don’t know how I’d sleep without it.”

“You could always bring your own.” Harrison said from the top bunk. Tom turned and chucked the other sweatshirt at him. You rolled your eyes at his words.

“Watch it, Osterfield, or your mattress is going to end up in the middle of the lake with you still sleeping on it.” You playfully threatened.

“I’m quaking with fear.” He laughed, laying down on the bed out of sight.

“Well, I should go.” You told Tom, “Thank you for the sweatshirt. Good night.”

“Good night, Y/N.” He smiled softly at you. As you walked away, he slowly closed the door, pleased with himself and his choice in sweatshirts. He turned to finish getting ready for bed, just in time for Harrison to throw the sweatshirt back at him.

“I will kick you out of this room.” Tom grumbled.

“I’d like to see you try.”

You didn’t sleep well that night. Even with Tom’s sweatshirt, your room was unbearably cold, and it didn’t help that Rose snored. With only a few hours of sleep under your belt, you woke up the next morning to the sun streaming in through the large window behind the bed and Rose already up and out of the room. You padded into the kitchen, making yourself some tea with the rustic teapot that was set out on the counter. Spotting Rose and Jane standing out on the balcony, you made your way outside.

“Good morning.” You said through a yawn, coming to stand beside Rose.

“We were wondering when you were going to wake up.” Jane teased. You looked at your two friends quizzically, taking a sip of your steaming tea.

“You already missed part one of the gun show.” Rose joked, sitting up straighter to look over the edge of the balcony, “They should be back any second.”

“Oh God.” You laughed, remembering the boys and their run this morning.

“I know I’m with Tyler, but damn, Y/N.” She teased, and Rose nudged you playfully. “Here they come.”

Seeing motion through the trees, you looked over at the runners. It was obvious they were racing the last bit of the run, considering how triumphant Harrison looked when he arrived first with Will right on his tail. And then came Tyler, and finally Tom. There was probably only a few seconds between their arrival, but it was still amusing to spy the looks on their faces. They were all shirtless and glistening in a layer of sweat, and they hadn’t noticed the three of you on the balcony at all- not that you were complaining. You’d rather not have them catch you all checking them out so unabashedly.

“Look at that. 24 abs right there.” Jane let out a small sigh. While her comment was for all four boys, her eyes stayed trained on Tyler. Rose, on the other hand, had her eyes on Harrison’s figure, which you noted to tease her about later. But you, you couldn’t help but check out Tom’s bare torso- there was a reason you didn’t watch either Spider-Man movie with him- you always ended up a little too focused on his shirtless scenes.

“Enjoying the show?” Tyler called up to the three of you, a cheeky smirk on his face, as they all made their way up to the cabin. You could’ve sworn you saw Tom blush a little when he met your gaze before Harrison playfully shoved his friend, making Tom lose focus on you and shove him right back.

“Boys.” Rose laughed quietly to you. You bit your lip, nodding in agreement.

“I’m glad I didn’t miss part two.”

The boys made their way into the kitchen, seeking out some water and gatorade as you and the girls went back inside to greet them. The sweet smell of salmon from last night was gone, overthrown by the ever lovely smell of sweaty men.

“It smells like a gym in here.” Rose gagged in disgust.

“I would’ve gone for sweaty ballsack, but yours is much nicer.” Jane laughed.

“Janie would know.” Will teased, clapping Tyler on the shoulder as he drank from his water, making the other choke a little.

“So how was the run?” You asked Tom as he and Harrison came over to you, Tom’s bottle of gatorade almost gone already. The other four got engrossed in their own conversation.

“Just a small workout, nothing too bad.” He replied, brushing it off.

“He was dying.” Harrison stated, making you laugh. “I told him he’s got to run with me more.”

“Well, you won, Haz, so congrats.” You replied.

“How did you know we were racing?” Tom asked. His ears turned pink from thinking that you knew he came in last.

“The four of you act like teenage boys; of course you’re going to make a race out of a casual run.” You teased.

“We should probably go stretch before our muscles tighten up again.” Harrison said, already backing up towards the stairs. Tom made his way to follow him, and you spoke up.

“I’ll come with.” You offered, setting your mug of tea on the counter. You followed them downstairs and out to the patio, feeling like you might as well spend some alone time with your two closest friends.

“You two think you can make it on the hike today?” You teased, already seeing Tom walk a little funny.

“Yeah, yeah, we got this.” He reassured you, sitting down on the solid ground to start stretching his legs. You started to stretch with them, and Harrison looked at you funny for it.

“Why are you stretching?” He asked with a laugh.

“It helps with flexibility.” You shrugged, switching legs as they did, all three of you mirroring the same poses. “How was the lake?”

“It was nice. We weren’t exactly looking at it though.” Tom replied with a chuckle.

“I don’t know, you were going so slow, I thought you were.” Harrison joked and Tom kicked his foot out, hitting Harrison in the leg.

“It’s shit like this that made me believe you were racing.” You laughed.

“I don’t do long distance running. I like focusing on my abs a lot more.” Tom defended himself. You flicked your eyes down to his abs, nodding a little, but Tom was so focused on his stretching that he had missed your small action, whereas Harrison fully caught it. He laughed, sending you a wink, and you flipped him off. Tom caught that exchange though, “Did I miss something?”

“Nope.” You replied quickly, only making Harrison laugh harder, “He’s just being a dumbass. Onto hamstrings.”

The three of you laid down to stretch your hamstrings, and you heard Tom let out a small groan from beside you. “I can’t do this. I fucking hate leg day.”

“Need help?” You offered. Before he could protest, you were already on your feet. He held his leg up as high as he could, and you pressed on his foot to stretch his hamstring even more.

“What if I need help too?” Harrison pouted, even though he was stretching his leg just fine.

“Sorry, Haz, it’s just you and your hand.” You joked, making Tom laugh.

“I see how it is. Ha ha, it’s me and my hand, and Tom and your hand, Y/N.” He sarcastically replied, as you dropped Tom’s leg and he bent his knee for you to lean on his shin. You helped him to deepen the stretch through his leg.

“Someone’s jealous.” Tom said, before grimacing a little.

“Was that too far?” You asked, loosening your hold on his leg, not wanting to overstretch his hamstring.

“A little.” He replied.

“God, Y/N don’t be so rough on him.” Harrison piped in, still having no issue stretching on his own.

“Haz, if you’re going to be a pouty baby about not having a stretching buddy, talk to Rose. She was totally checking you out earlier.” You stated, trying to change the conversation off of Harrison’s unnecessary innuendos. You let go of Tom’s leg and reached for his foot to stretch his other hamstring.

“Wait, really?” He asked, dropping his leg to peer at you with a serious look on his face.

“Yeah, why would I lie to you about that?” You laughed, “Besides, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her read a book, so I think she was lying about Catch 22.”

Flustered, Wide eyed and blushing, Harrison mumbled something about grabbing a shower before bolting off. You exchanged a curious look with Tom, but he followed after his friend.

You made your way inside after them and went to fix yourself another cup of tea. When you saw Will alone in the kitchen, you momentarily considered changing your mind and going to your rook, but it was too late, as he had already seen you.

“Want a cup?” He asked, holding up the coffee pot after he finished pouring himself a cup.

“No thanks.” You replied and made your way to the kettle.

“Enjoy the show earlier? Tyler and I started this new training routine that’s supposed to help with bulking up.” Will said. It took everything in you to not roll your eyes at his words.

“And how’s that working out for you?” You asked, not even trying to hide your disinterest. You still hadn’t forgiven him for his immature comments last night. Plus, the more you saw Will interact with Tom, the more justified you felt with your annoyance.

Will stepped closer to you. Slowly, he took one of your hands in his and pressed it to his abs, and you’d be lying if you said you couldn’t feel every part of his toned stomach. As much as you hated to admit it, you felt like you were falling under his trance again. “There’s more where that came from. Why don’t you come by my room tonight?”

He dropped your hand, and you were pulled out of your foggy state. You stepped away, turning away from him to continue getting yourself some tea. You felt his body envelope yours from behind. His head rested on your shoulder and his hands smoothed over your waist. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he murmured, “I miss you.”

At his words, something inside of you snapped and you jolted away from his embrace, slapping his hands away. Firmly, you said, “I don’t miss you.”

Will left the room without another word, and you were left to ponder what the hell just happened as you stood alone in the kitchen.

It wasn’t until a few hours later that you all left on the hike, trailing through the towering trees to make your way to a nearby peak. You all stopped a few times for water and some food, and to even just enjoy nature. Between Jane’s ornithology degree, Tyler’s botany background, and Will’s forestry knowledge, identifying the different birds, plants, and trees around you was relatively easy.

“Can you imagine if we studied something environmental too?” Rose joked, nudging you in the shoulder as Jane mindlessly went on about the bird that had flown past nearly ten minutes ago.

“God, it would never end.” You laughed.

“What did you study?” Harrison asked Rose, making you look at Tom and roll your eyes at your friends.

“I’m a nurse.” She replied, and the two got swept into their own conversation.

“You sore yet?” You asked Tom, poking him in the side as you all continued the hike uphill.

“Me? Sore? Never.” He laughed. He shook his head to try to hide the slight hurt from the question. First, you didn’t think he was outdoorsy enough and now you think he can’t handle doing some mileage. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Oh sure.” You smiled at him. Tyler pointed out a specific plant as you all passed it, talking about the intricate properties of the shrub.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused about nature.” Tom mumbled to you quietly. Since you two were far enough behind Tyler, Jane, and Will, they couldn’t hear his comment.

“Don’t worry. I have no clue what he’s talking about either.” You reassured him before letting out a small yawn.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” He asked, looking over at you in concern.

“Someone was snoring a bit too loud for me to sleep.” You said, loud enough for Rose to hear. She stopped and spun around to face you, face red in embarrassment.

“It’s a nasal condition! You know how I get when it’s cold!” She defended. As much as she tried to sound angry, she still had a small smile on her face.

“Love you, Rose.” You blew her a kiss, laughing at her reaction. She and Harrison turned back around and continued their conversation about who knows what.

“I think Harrison’s got a nasal condition too.” Tom whispered, making you stifle a laugh to not draw attention back to the two of you.

“Rose doesn’t even snore that loud.” You admitted quietly, “Even with your sweatshirt, I was still too cold to sleep.”

“I can give you another one when we get back. You can double up.” He offered, “But it was pretty cold last night.”

“Thanks. I’ll probably take you up on that.” You smiled softly at him. “You know, I’m really happy you came.”

“I’m happy I came, too. Thanks for inviting me.” He replied, and you nodded in response. Tom paused after a moment, stopping his tracks to look at you with furrowed eyebrows, “Wait, did you not expect me to come?”

You looked at him in confusion, before answering, “I mean I did, but-“

“But I’m not outdoorsy, so you didn’t think I’d actually be here.” Tom grumbled in agitation, beginning to walk again quickly to catch up to the group. You ran up after him.

“Is that what this is about?” You questioned, your voice unintentionally raised, “That I said you weren’t the camping type back home?”

Harrison and Rose turned to look at the two of you, and Tom just bit his tongue to keep from exploding about the sensitive subject. He knew he shouldn’t have asked, but he just felt so inadequate with Will going on and on about trees and shit.

“What is going on with you?” You questioned with a huff of frustration.

“It’s nothing. Let’s just keep going.” Tom stated, shaking his head.

“I’m not going one more step until you tell me what the hell is up.”

“What’s the hold up?” Will called back when he noticed the stop in your hike. Tom went to step forward to continue the journey, but missed his footing on a particularly slick patch of leaves. 

A collective, concerned shout came from you and Harrison as Tom hit the ground. He groaned in pain, and Rose came to his side. All frustration at him slipped out of you as worry flooded your system.

“Tom, oh my god- are you okay?” You asked.

“I think I rolled my ankle.” Tom said, cradling his ankle in his lap.

Rose looked at it briefly, no noticeable swelling or bruising yet. “Can you stand on it?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He replied before pushing himself to his feet. He bit back a grimace, standing on his ankle as normal, and you didn’t seem to be the only one to notice it. “Let’s finish the hike, yeah?” 

“You’re not hiking on that.” Rose shook her head with a small laugh.

“I don’t want to hold you all back. I can manage it, really.”

“It’s fine. We’ll continue on. Y/N can lead you back.” Jane spoke up, a little smirk playing on her lips.

“I’ll go with.” Harrison offered.

“As the house nurse, I feel obligated to walk back with him.” Rose added, and you caught the blush that touched her cheeks.

And just like that, it was settled. You, Rose, and Harrison would walk back with Tom, who was doing his best not to limp, which everyone saw through. Rose and Harrison made conversation the whole walk back, while you and Tom just stayed awkwardly silent. By the time you all made it back to the house, he still hadn’t spoken to you. You went to put away your hiking gear and found Tom a few minutes later, sitting on the porch as he looked at the forest before him, an ice pack on his elevated ankle to help with potential swelling.

“I meant what I said.” You spoke up quietly as you sat in the chair beside him. When he just continued to look straight ahead and not physically acknowledge your presence, you continued, “I am really happy that you’re here, Tom. I didn’t say that because I didn’t think you’d want to come. The only reason I wouldn’t expect you to come is because you’re always busy. I guess what I really meant was that I’m grateful you were able to make time for me this week, especially because I know the countless other, more fun things you could be doing right now. It really means a lot.”

After another brief silent moment passed between the two of you, he looked over at you with a small frown on his face. “Why would you think I wouldn’t make time for you?”

“Like I said, you’re busy. You do one movie after the other, and I feel like we hardly see each other anymore. It’s,” You trailed off, searching for the right word, “comforting that you’d want to spend your free time with me.”

“You’re my best friend. Of course, I’d want to spend time with you.”

You knew his words were sweet and that he meant every single one of them, but you still felt a small, subtle twist in your gut.  Another unnatural silence fell between the two of you until Rose came outside like a true savior.

“We’re planning on making s’mores tonight, are you down?” She asked, a cheery smile on her face.

“I’m offended you’re even asking me that.” You stated, and she rolled her eyes at you. You turned to Tom, smiling, “You’re going to love them. Just don’t burn yourself.”

“Burn myself?” He looked at you as if you were crazy, making you laugh.

“Don’t scare him.” Rose teased, “Besides, my money’s on Harrison burning himself first.”

“I heard that!” He called from inside the cabin through the screen door.

Just as Rose was about to leave to go back inside, Tom spoke up, raising his hand a little, still confused, “How do you burn yourself on s’mores?”

Several hours later, he got his answer.

“Ow, fuck, shit, ow.” Harrison cursed, dropping his burnt marshmallow into the dirt.

“That’s how.” You laughed as Rose clinked her s’more against yours.

“How do you know when it’s ready?” Tom asked, eyeing the marshmallow at the end of his stick. He slowly rotated the stick in his hands just as you had told him to do.

“Golden brown are the best, but they’re tricky to make because you can burn them instantly, which is what Harrison did.” You teased your blond friend beside you before taking a bite of your perfect s’more and turning back to face Tom on your other side. “Burnt ones aren’t bad, they just have a more burnt flavor, obviously.”

“So is it ready yet?” He questioned, but he was looking at you not at his roasting marshmallow.

“No,” You giggled. You finished off your s’more with another bite and scooted closer to him on the log. You placed your hand on top of his on the stick, twisting it so that the marshmallow was a few inches above the flame instead of right by the firewood. “And you just keep rotating it. You can see there’s already a gold hue to it.”

You smiled, looking over at him to find him already gazing at you with a soft smile of his own playing on his lips. The light from the campfire made his brown eyes sparkle with specks of gold.

“It’s burning!” Jane exclaimed, and you quickly retracted the stick and marshmallow, blowing out the fire on the now burned marshmallow.

“Well, it’s golden on one side, but burnt marshmallows are an essential part of the s’mores making business.” You said as you passed the stick back to Tom. You gathered the two parts of a graham cracker as well as some Hershey’s chocolate and set it up for a s’more.

“I think I need help with this part.” Tom admitted with a chuckle.

“So you put the marshmallow here.” You pointed at the graham cracker topped with a piece of chocolate. He moved the stick to put the marshmallow in its proper position, and then you put the other half of the graham cracker on top. Grasping the two graham crackers with the marshmallow in the middle, you finished, “And now pull out.”

“Hah, pull out.” Tyler laughed at the innuendo through a face full of his double stacked s’mores. Tom did as told, his eyes lighting up in excitement when you presented him his very own s’more.

“Ta-da. It’s real rocket science, isn’t it?” You joked, and Harrison elbowed you, still grumpy that he had lost his first marshmallow and burnt his hand trying to catch it.

“Burnt and fallen marshmallows are just casualties of s’more making.” Rose said.

“S’mores have to be the thing I miss most about living here— the U.K. just doesn’t do camping quite as well.” You stated, shaking your head a little in disbelief.

“How could you miss s’mores more than us?” Will asked, a playfulness in his voice, but you could recognize the serious undertones of his words.

“I’d miss s’mores more than I’d miss you.” Rose teased, saving you from having to actually think of a response.

“Hand me a marshmallow. I’m ready to try again for a golden one.” Tom said to you, and you reached over into the marshmallow bag beside you, slipping him the soft treat.

“Good luck.” You encouraged him with a laugh.

Tom’s second attempt ended up burnt as well, and you gladly ate it while he made his third one. By the time it was golden brown and ready to be eaten, Jane, Tyler, and even Will had retired for the night.

“That tastes so much better not burnt to a crisp.” Tom said, impressed by his own marshmallow-roasting skills.

“Camping heaven.” You agreed, finishing off the s’more he’d burned earlier.

Rose stood up with a small sigh, stretching her arms. “I think I might head to bed.”

“Me too.” Harrison stated, getting up after her. Tom looked at him questioningly, and you bit your lip, giving Rose a teasing look. She rolled her eyes at you, smiling to herself as she turned to head towards the cabin.

Noticing how Harrison’s hand caught hers once they were a decent distance from the campfire, you called out to them, “Good night!”

“Night!” They chorused back.

“Haz and Rose seem to have hit it off.” Tom commented once they were inside. Your eyes drifted from the dying fire up to the starry sky overhead. 

“Yeah, they really have.” You nodded, caught up focusing on the twinkling lights above you. Quietly, you admitted, “I’ll never get tired of looking at the stars.”

“I bet your neck will.” He joked, making you shake your head.

“They’re just so beautiful.” You mumbled.

“Really beautiful.” You heard Tom murmur under his breath. Your eyes flickered over to him, noticing how he was definitely staring at you and not the stars in the sky. When he turned to face the campfire, your eyes diverted back up to the stars, trying your best to suppress how fast your heart was racing.

“I used to know all of the constellations too. Will and I used to camp a lot, and I’d just study the stars until I fell asleep.” You confessed, attempting to strike up a conversation to keep you from your thoughts. When Tom said nothing in reply, a small sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes trailed back down to Tom beside you. Staring right into the dying campfire, he looked deep in thought.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked him, nudging him a little with your shoulder.

“It’s nothing.” Tom shook his head, but his attempts to play off his thoughts didn’t work on you. After a moment, he spoke up, barely meeting your eyes as he did so, “Did you and Will really— you know— in my movie—“ he trailed off, not wanting to finish his question. He was already apprehensive about the answer, and yet he couldn’t help himself from asking.

“In Infinity War?” You asked, laughing lightly at his question, or lack thereof. Looking up towards the sky again, you replied, “Unless you count the fastest handjob ever, no, we didn’t.”

Tom was silent, making you look back over at him. His shoulders were shaking as he bit his lip, doing his best to stifle his laughter.

“Shut up.” You scoffed, playfully hitting his arm. “It wasn’t like you were dying in the scene or anything. You weren’t even on the screen.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He insisted, before breaking into a fit of laughter, unable to contain it any longer. In that moment, you felt complete tranquility. Tom’s laughter broke through the silence of the atmosphere, making your heart flutter in happiness. His eyes were shut, and you could count every crinkle by his eyes. With the fire illuminating his features just right, he was positively glowing. If you wanted any moment to last forever, it was this one. Tom settled his laughter, “Sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing, but it’s just-” He paused, and his smile faltered momentarily, “It’s a relief.”

“A relief?” You repeated before you could help yourself, and Tom realized his words.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, thinking on his feet of an explanation, “It would’ve been really awkward if I was dying, and you and Will- yeah.” He stopped himself short, and a comfortable silence overcame the two of you.

“How’s your ankle feeling?” You asked, not wanting the conversation to end. If it ended, then that meant the night was over and your precious alone time with Tom was over.

“It’s fine, now. Honestly, it didn’t hurt that much.” He replied with a bit of a nod. You watched as he sucked in a tight breath, “I’m sorry about what happened earlier on the hike. I got frustrated and a little jealous. I was so determined to prove that I could be like Will that I just ended up being a dick.”

His words took a moment to sink in, but you found a small smile breaking over your face as you understood the layers of their meaning. You reached out and touched his knee. Softly, you admitted, “You have no reason to be jealous over Will. I’d never want you to be like him. The main reason that I broke up with him was because, well, he’s not you.”

You could see Tom think about your words for a moment before, ever so slowly, he started to lean in. Tom’s lips seemed to fit perfectly with yours, tenderly moving in sync as you both caved into your suppressed feelings. With one hand cupping your cheek, Tom’s other hand moved to your waist, pulling you in closer to him. You paid no mind to the uncomfortableness of your position on the log, too lost in the kiss to think straight. For the second time that night, you wished that this moment would last forever.

But it came to a quick, bittersweet end as Tom pulled away. His face stayed close to yours, his breath fanning over your face. A smile crossed his lips, “That took us way too long.”

“Way, way too long.” You agreed. He went to pull you in for another kiss, but the sudden cold of the dying fire pulled you two back to reality. Almost reluctantly, you said, “I guess we should probably head inside.”

It was far too cold for either of you to want to stay outside without the comforting heat. Gathering the food and putting out the last of the fire, you two walked back to the cabin, hand in hand.

“Thank you for the s’mores.” Tom said quietly to you, aware that most likely everyone in the cabin was sleeping. He placed the last couple bags of marshmallows and graham crackers on the kitchen counter (the chocolate was all eaten long ago), and you made a mental note to take care of it in the morning. 

“Any time.” You joked softly. Tom leaned in to give you a quick, but just as sweet good night kiss.

As he made his way over to the stairs, he spoke up again, “Don’t get too cold tonight.”

“Good night, Tom.” You laughed lightly, turning towards your bedroom door.

“Good night, Y/N.” 

With one last exchange of soft, sleepy smiles, you both turned to go your separate ways.

When you entered your quaint cabin room, you were met with Rose’s snores, a sharp contrast to your favorite sound that was Tom’s laughter from moments ago. You quietly maneuvered around the room, getting ready for bed. A smile ghosted your lips as you tugged on Tom’s hoodie. The familiar warmth and scent enveloping you comfortably.

You waited for sleep to overcome you on the cold bed; it felt like hours (when really, it was probably only ten minutes) before you finally decided to get up. With a small sigh, you shuffled out of the bed. Maybe the couch would give you more peace than your shared room.

As you made your way out of your room, you heard a door downstairs open. Curiously, you peeked down the staircase to see Tom emerging from the bathroom, in nothing but basketball shorts.

“What are you still doing up?” Tom asked you with his voice just above a whisper. You silently made your way down the stairs until you were in front of him.

“Couldn’t sleep. The room hasn’t gotten any warmer since last night.” You admitted, subconsciously crossing your arms.

“Come here.” Tom slowly uncrossed your arms, taking one of your hands loosely in his. He led you to his room. The door creaked open and shed some light into the dark bedroom. Wordlessly, he brought you over to his bed and dropped your hand to shuffle the blankets.

“What about Haz?” You whispered as Tom slipped into his bed, laying sideways and as close to the wall as possible to make some room for you.

“It’ll be fine.” He reassured you. You slid into the bed, finding comfort under the blankets. You laid on your side facing Tom, and it was then that you realized just how small the twin bed was— you two were close enough to each other that you could feel his minty breath fan over your cheeks, which still made you nervous even though just ten minutes ago he’d kissed you.

“We’re never going to fall asleep like this.” You teased softly. Tom let out a quiet laugh, shuffling so he was flatter on his back, giving you room to lay in his arms. With your head pressed to his bare chest and his strong arms circling around you, you finally found warmth.

“You’re really warm.” You mumbled into his chest, snuggling into his embrace and letting your legs tangle comfortably with his. It wasn’t the first time the two of you had cuddled, but it was the first time the two of you have cuddled on a tiny bed and with him being shirtless.

“Makes me the best cuddling partner.” Tom mumbled, his chest shaking lightly underneath you as he chuckled. You hummed in agreement, a smile forming on your face.

“Do you two ever shut up?” You heard Harrison question from the bunk above you.

“Do you always have to ruin a perfectly good moment?” Tom replied, and you subconsciously snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“I better not wake up in the middle of the night to noises.” He grumbled. The bed shuffled as he flipped over in his bed to get comfortable.

“Haz, that’s just you snoring.” You teased. He muttered something incoherent and you whispered to Tom, “Let’s wait until he starts snoring and then move his mattress to the lake.”

“Deal.”

Unfortunately for you but luckily for Harrison, you drifted off quickly, listening to the sound of Tom’s heart beating underneath you. You couldn’t help yourself; he made for the best pillow and the best heat source.

The next morning, you woke up with a start, hearing a loud thud from right beside you. Blearily, you leaned over the edge of the twin bed to find the source of the sound; when you saw a groaning, half-asleep Tom on the floor below you, a fit of laughter overcame you. The blankets were falling off the bed, all tangled up in his legs.

“Did you fall off the bed?” Harrison asked, even though all three of you already knew the answer, and you looked up to see him peering over the edge of the bunk bed.

“It’s not funny.” Tom muttered, frowning in faux annoyance at your continued laughter.

You held your hands out to him, offering to help him up even though you were in an impossible position to really help, still laying in the actual bed. Teasingly, you asked, “You got an owie?”

Chuckling, Tom reached up and grabbed your hands, pulling you off the bed. You let out a yelp as you landed on top of him, in a similar position to just last night. Your legs subconsciously fell on either side of his to somewhat straddle him, and you lifted yourself up on the palms of your hands to look down at him properly, a smile etched on your face. The familiar intoxicating pull from last night returned; you almost forgot Harrison was in the room— key word, almost.

“Get up before I come down there and join in.”

And with that, you quickly got off of Tom, and he scrambled to his feet. As Harrison came down the bunk bed ladder, you and Tom put the blankets back onto the bottom bed. You pondered where last night left the two of you, and you weren’t sure how to approach the subject. You were clearly more than friends, but were you more than friends in front of the others?

“What’s for breakfast?” Harrison asked, cutting you off from your thoughts. 

Over the course of the next few hours, you tried to somehow be alone with Tom to talk things over. It felt odd how things ended last night— not a bad odd, but odd nonetheless. Between the guys going for yet another run and you all spending time at the lake together, it just seemed like the opportunity would never come.

“God, I can’t believe it took you that long.” Rose teased, a giddy smile on her face as she cut off your recounting of last night. The boys were outside chopping some firewood while you, Rose, and Jane prepared dinner.

Jane winked at you jokingly, “What was it like?”

“What was what like? The kissing?” You asked, and she nodded.

“We want all the details!”

“In all honesty, it was the best kiss of my life.” You admitted, the butterflies you felt last night returning at just the thought.

As the three of you continued to talk, coo, and gossip about the four boys outside, they were hard at work. The late afternoon summer sun was bearing down on them, and they had stripped away their shirts earlier. Tom decided very early on that he didn’t like chopping wood, even if Harrison was somehow worse at it than him. While Tom and Harrison mainly kept to themselves, Will and Tyler had their own conversations going, despite the others clearly within earshot.

“You and Jane— I don’t know how you do it. One girl for all those years?” Will commented, and Tyler laughed with a shrug.

“It’s been so long, I don’t know what I would do without her. Plus, she’s the best fuck I’ve ever had.” Tyler said crassly, making his friend laugh.

“Mine was by far Y/N.” He stated, loudly, as if to ensure that Tom would hear it. At the sound of your name, Tom and Harrison both began to listen in on the conversation.

“It’s been years. Surely, there’s been someone else.”

“Nope.” Will protested, stopping his work to lean on the axe handle, “She was supposed to come over last night, but she must’ve gotten lost.” Tom couldn’t stop himself from scoffing at his words. Hearing the sound, Will turned to face Tom, “Got something to say?”

“Yeah, I do actually.” Tom said, dropping the axe. Holding himself up straighter, he made his way closer to Will. Harrison hesitantly stepped closer to Tom as the brunet continued, “She didn’t get lost, she just had a better option.”

“Better option? You mean you?” He bit back. “Yesterday, you couldn’t even do a simple hike without hurting yourself, and you’re shit at chopping wood. You may think you’re hot shit in London, but this is my turf, movie star. I’m the one who gets the girl here.”

Harrison went to grab Tom’s balled fist, but he was too late as Tom had already swung, nailing the surprised Will right in the nose. Will responded quickly, throwing a punch back at Tom. Tyler and Harrison exchanged questioning looks, silently wondering if they should break up the fight or just let them go at it, but the pair decided the former was probably a better idea.

Aware of sudden commotion outside, you, Rose, and Jane all rushed to the balcony, wondering what could possibly be happening. The fight between Tom and Will was ending as Harrison and Tyler both successfully pulled their respective friends away from the other. Even from the distance, you could see the new bruises on Tom’s face and Will’s bloody nose; it was most likely broken, but you didn’t have it in you to care. The boys were unaware of you and the others, until Harrison looked up at the balcony. He gave you a sad smile, and Tom was next to look up. Ashamed, he didn’t dare to meet your eyes and, instead, grabbed his shirt from a nearby log and trudged his way down to the lake.

Your eyes flickered to Will, and a pit of anger flamed inside you. Just by the look on his face, you didn’t even need to question who was the antagonist. Not bothering to say a word to Rose or Jane, you marched downstairs and out to where Will, Tyler, and Harrison remained.

“What did you say to him?” You questioned Will angrily. 

“Nothing he didn’t already know.” He replied nonchalantly.

“That’s bullshit, Will. This is all just bullshit. Every chance you get, you bring up something to antagonize Tom and embarrass me. And, every time you do that, you just remind me that you’re half the man Tom is.”

“You’re acting like I was the one to start the fight. News flash, princess, your man threw the first punch.” Will said, bitterly.

You stepped closer to him, your eyes hardening, and you swore you saw fear flicker in his eyes. “Believe me, if Tom hadn’t broken your nose already, I would break it myself.”

Without another word, you turned on your heel and headed down to the lake. You knew they were all watching you-- Harrison, Tyler, and Will from the ground and Rose and Jane from the balcony. The sun was already starting to line the tops of the trees across the lake, and you felt your anger slowly dissipating as you saw Tom sitting on the dock. With his legs swinging off the edge, he looked at peace, but you knew him better than that; a storm was brewing in his head.

You didn’t say anything, and Tom made no effort to look away from his hands in his lap as you approached. Silently, you sat down right next to him at the end of the dock. Now that you were beside him, you noticed the bruise forming on his eyebrow and the cut on his lip. Will definitely got a few good shots at him, but you could tell Tom had gotten him worse. Your eyes trailed down to his hands; his knuckles were red in agony. Slowly, you reached your hand out to grab his injured one.

“It doesn’t hurt.” Tom mumbled, but you could tell he was holding back the truth. You tenderly placed a kiss on each of his red knuckles before intertwining your fingers.

“Wanna talk about what happened?” You asked him quietly, fearing if you spoke too loud the fragile moment would somehow be ruined.

“He was talking about you like you were just a good fuck and nothing more.” He replied, his voice just as soft as yours.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, your heart fluttering at the thought that he was defending you. You let go of his hand and turned to properly face him. The smile never left your face as you cupped his face in your hands. Confused, Tom asked through a laugh, “What are you doing?”

You kissed his bruised eyebrow before responding, “Well, I’ve got to kiss it better, don’t I?”

“I think you missed a spot then.” Tom pointed to his lips with a cheeky grin. You pressed a chaste kiss to the cut on his lip, before teasingly pulling away. You didn’t get far as Tom’s hand went to the back of your neck, bringing you in for another, deeper kiss. Caught up in the moment, you somehow forgot about his cut; it wasn’t until you nibbled on his bottom lip, accidentally catching the cut, that you remembered and Tom pulled away with a quiet groan.

“I’m sorry.” You said through a laugh, though you were still genuinely concerned about him. Your fingers traced lightly over the agitated cut.

“It’s okay.” He reassured you. One of his hands trailed up your arm to your own hand, and he brought it to his lips, kissing it just as gently as you had kissed his knuckles. “You’re cold.”

“Guess my personal heater isn’t working.” You teased.

“Come here.” Tom beckoned you closer to him. You slid into his side, snuggling into his warm embrace. With his arm hanging around your shoulders, you slipped your fingers through his, smiling at the ease of it all.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” You mumbled, looking at the beauty of the lake and the sunset before you. It was like a scene from a painting, a scene you wanted to memorize forever.

Tom pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling you in closer to him. “We can stay here as long as you’d like, darling.”

[hookingminor]

ilyana! congrats on 2k!!!! 48 from list 2 with our favorite man to scream about, mr. tyson jost :-)

48. “We’ve known each other for years and I don’t think we’ve ever had a proper conversation.”

two / three

-

Your brother’s friends could be described as one thing: annoying.

For years you had to deal with obnoxious boys overcrowding your home and eating all the food in your pantry and teasing the shit out of you. You were just the irritating little sister they had to put up with, and one older brother had actually turned into five with how often they were at your house.

Thankfully, when your brother went off to college, the chaos calmed down and you could finally eat through an entire bag of chips by yourself without worrying one of them would snatch it from your hands. Then, you went off to college and the guys became nonexistent. Now, your parent’s home served more as a vacation spot rather than home, but that also meant you had to go back to sharing spaces when your brother brought his old buddies over.

You knew the only reason they spent so much time at your house was due to the large pool in your backyard, but the summer time was almost unbearable with how much they were in it. Every turn around the corner you were met with one of your brother’s friends.

They whispered about you behind your back, and especially your brother’s back, among themselves. Mostly, they were brief comments about how your figure had really filled out since you were sixteen. It was a complete one-eighty from when they saw you last, but they’d rather be dead than caught trying to flirt with you. It was simple bro code, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t look and appreciate your body.

You weren’t oblivious to their stares. They probably thought they were inconspicuous or not noticeable, but you weren’t dumb. The extra attention was flattering even if you weren’t going to do anything about it. If you were to get with any of your brother’s friends, it was going to be Tyson Jost, but he hadn’t spared you a second glance since seeing you again.

Tyson had been the only one of your brother’s friends to ever catch your eye. He was always handsome, but beyond that, he was so fucking nice. He didn’t partake in the teasing the rest of your brother’s friends gave you, and he didn’t think you were a burden every time you needed to catch a ride somewhere. He never went out of his way to speak to you, but he never treated you badly.

And you wanted him so bad.

He was just as respectful now as he was back then. Even after years of playing in the NHL and making millions of dollars, the fame hadn’t changed him. His arms had gotten bigger and his thighs more muscular, and his scruff was doing nothing to cool your sinful thoughts, but he was still just as kind.

Out of all your brother’s friends, he was the only one that didn’t irk the shit out of you. If anything, you kind of wished he would say something stupid so you could kill your stupid crush.

It was another hot day, the summer sun beating down on you at what felt like a thousand degrees, and you were taking advantage of the nice weather by lounging by the pool when a chorus of deep voices sounded from the sliding door.

You peeked one eye open under your sunglasses to see five idiots in swim trunks try their hardest not to let their gazes linger on you as they filed outside with a case of beer in hand. Your brother wasn’t with them, presumably still in the house, but Tyson pushed past all the guys and pulled out the lounge next to you.

“Beer?” Tyson asked, holding out a Coors can, and you thanked him as he slid the cold metal into your hand.

The other guys were still looking at you from afar, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling behind your sunglasses.

“Tell your friends they’re gonna catch flies if they don’t close their mouths,” you said, flipping over to your stomach.

You weren’t expecting Tyson to respond, but you were happily surprised when a hearty laugh sounded from his throat. Your head rested on your arms, face turned towards Tyson, and you let a smile quirk at the ends of your lips.

“I’m sorry they’re idiots,” he apologized half-heartedly.

“Not your fault,” you said. “I hope the company in Colorado isn’t as idiotic as the one you keep here.”

“Hate to break it to you, but guys of all ages are stupid,” Tyson explained, glancing over to you. His hair was curly and looked so soft you were half tempted to reach over and run your fingers through it. It was much longer than the cut he used to keep in high school, and you were a fan of this current length.

“I hope they don’t play beer darts at least,” you commented, referring to the night before when the guys sat out back for two hours playing that dumb house party game and progressively getting more drunk throughout it. Nick had taken one straight to the shin, and you could see the bandaid over his leg from your view across the pool.

“Not that stupid at least,” Tyson chuckles. “College boy stupidity is a different kind of stupid.”

“Don’t I fucking know it,” you groaned.

You watched the guys, now joined with your brother, shotgun a beer and jump in the pool in quick succession.

“You know, we’ve known each other for years and I don’t think we’ve ever had a proper conversation,” Tyson says after a minute of silence, and you peer at him over the rim of your sunglasses. He leaned back against the chair, sunglasses on and beer in hand.

“I don’t think I’ve had a conversation with any of you that didn’t consist of whining about how you had to drive me to school or to the mall,” you teased.

“Hey! I never said anything,” Tyson said in defense.

“True,” you conceded. “You were the only one that didn’t piss me off back in the day.”

“I tried my hardest not to,” Tyson laughs.

I wish you would’ve tried harder to talk to me.

“Tyson! Get your ass in the pool!” Your brother interrupts, causing both of your attention to snap back to the crowd in the water.

“I think we’re good out here,” Tyson called back, and a few of the guys took the time to splash water at you.

There were loud boos shouted your way, but they left you alone after that.

“How’s school going?” He asked.

“It’s fine,” you answered cautiously. “Stressed about what to do after graduation this year, but other than that it’s all good. How is Colorado? What are the mountains like?”

“Believe it or not, I don’t do a lot of hiking,” he grins. “You should visit some time though if you’re into that. I’m sure I could scout out a few trails to take you on.”

“Really? I’d love that. I’ve barely traveled,” you admitted with a sigh. Being broke and in college with loans to pay off didn’t leave you much opportunity to do much sight-seeing.

“Of course, you can always crash at my place too if you need a place to stay,” he offered, and the gesture warmed your heart.

“Maybe I’ll make a trip later this summer then,” you thought out loud.

“Yeah?” Tyson smiled. “I think you’d love Colorado.”

“If it’s good enough for you then I’m sure it can’t be that bad,” you mused.

“Tyson!” Your brother shouted once again. “Stop flirting with my sister and get in here.”

You knew he was joking, but that didn’t stop the heat from flooding your cheeks in embarrassment. No one would be able to tell since the sun had your face feeling hot all day, but Tyson only laughed and set his empty beer can on the ground beside him.

“Why don’t you text me later if you’re still serious about Colorado?” Tyson suggested as he sat up to his full height. “Oh, and maybe we can just keep this between us?” He looked a little sheepish then, asking you to keep quiet about a possible trip where you’d see him, but it sent tingles throughout your body.

“Of course,” you replied. “I’ll text you later.”

Hope filled your stomach at the thought and tucked your face further into your arms as you tried not to ogle Tyson’s tanned, and very fit body, climb off the chair and jump into the pool.

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Camping

Prompt: You, Fred, George, Ginny and the trio decide to have some fun over summer break and go on a camping trip, except without the magic tents. Just some friends and some nature. Well, except for you and Fred, who are both pining over each other while thinking the other doesn't share their feelings. That is until you get particularly cold one night.

Warnings: SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!, Camping, Swearing, Fluffy ending, I think that’s it.

A/N: Oh, to be fucked in a tent by Fred Weasley. The dream really. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! LMK if you have any requests!

You let out a sigh of relief as you let your heavy backpack fall to the ground. The hike had been long, almost three hours, but the scenery from the mountain top where you and your friends were currently standing made it worth it.

It was Hermione's idea to go camping. She had talked about how fun it was when she had gone with her family, and thought it would be a good way to get out and spend some time together over the summer, and the twins only having been wizard camping with magic tents wanted the full muggle camping experience.

You were looking over the view when your eyes landed on Fred’s as he was looking at you, a smile on his face.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer” You joked to the older red head.

“Don’t mind me, just enjoying the view” He replied

You only smiled and rolled your eyes, moving to unpack your bag and start setting up the campsite. You and the twins were in the same year, and had been friends ever since your first day at Hogwarts, but you only saved your flirty jokes for Fred. 

“How in the bloody hell does this work?” Ron mumbled to Hermione, stretching out the fabric of the tent he would be sharing with Harry.

“You have to put the poles through it” Hermione explained, taking the fabric from him and showing him how to set up the tent, Fred and George watching from the side.

You and Hermione's family's had both had some camping supplies, so you brought everything you thought you would need, including four tents. Three doubles for Fred and George, Harry and Ron, and Ginny and Hermione, and a single for you. You honestly didn’t mind the solitude though, in fact you were pretty excited to get some uninterrupted sleep.

A few hours later, and sleep was the last thing that you were expecting to get. The temperature had gone down with the sun, and your sleeping bag was doing little to protect you from the cold that filled your tent.

You were just about to see if you had packed another sweater to put on, when you heard shuffling from outside, causing you to freeze up. You clenched your teeth to stop them from chattering as you strained your ears, trying to hear what the sound could have been before-

“Hey Y/n, you awake?” Fred’s voice whispered from outside the tent, causing you to huff out a breath, opening your tent flap to glare at the red head.

“Fred! You scared the shit out of me what's wrong with you?” You whisper yelled, backing up as Fred came to sit inside the tent with you, his sleeping bag wrapped around him.

“Oh stop it you love me” Fred shot back, now fully inside the tent and sitting cross legged across from you. “George wont stop snoring, can I bunk in here with you?”

“Fred... It’s tiny in here you wont fit” You tried to argue.

“Just scooch over, it’ll be fine” He said back, already moving to one side of the tent and pushing your sleeping bag over to lay his down, unwrapping it from around himself to reveal he was shirtless underneath. 

You averted your eyes, trying to hide the blush on your face.

“Fine, but I swear if you kick me-” You started.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise” Fred joked, causing the light blush from earlier to now heat up your entire face.

You shifted a bit, making more room before laying back down, facing away from Fred. A few minutes past and the cold had seeped into your bones, causing you to start shivering again. You pulled your knees into your chest, trying to preserve your body heat until you fell asleep, but you were interrupted.

“Y/N...” Fred whispered from behind you.

“What?” You whispered back a bit angrily, irritated that the cold was keeping you awake.

“Are you cold?” Fred asked, completely ignoring your tone. 

“No it’s a fucking sauna in here” you replied sarcastically.

“Come here” Fred said after a moment, causing you to roll over to face him, your eyes widening.

“What?” You asked

“Come here, I’ll keep you warm” Fred said simply. 

You looked at him dumbly. The possibility of somehow embarrassing yourself in front of your longtime crush was very real, however, you could already feel the heat radiating off of him, and your toes were practically numb-

“For Merlin's sake Y/N, your teeth are chattering, would you just come here so maybe we could both get some sleep?” Fred asked, lifting the edge of his sleeping bag.

“Fine, but no funny business” you said, trying to be casual, like you weren't about to practically cuddle your long time crush.

“You insult me, I’m a gentlemen” He replied

You opened your sleeping bag and carefully shifted yourself until you were in Fred's, turning so your back was once again facing him. Once you were inside, Fred lowered his arm, encasing the both of you in the sleeping bag before wrapping his arm around your waist, causing the butterflies in your stomach to erupt.

A few minutes had past, and you were still shivering a bit, Fred's body heat taking its time to seep through the three sweaters you were currently wearing.

“You know” Fred started “If you took your clothes off you’d get warmer faster” He said suggestively, causing you to roll your eyes.

“If you’re just going to make fun of me I can go, I’m sure Hermione and Ginny could make room” You shot back, your nerves getting the better of you.

“I’m serious!” Fred defended, any hint of joking from his voice leaving “Your feet are freezing and you’ve barely warmed up at all, but if it makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to” Fred finished. 

You pondered for a minute. Fred sounded genuine, and it was unlikely either of you would get any sleep with you practically vibrating from the cold. So without saying a word, you sat up and began to strip the layers off your body until you were only in your bra, underwear, and socks, laying down again, with your back facing Fred.

“Bra stays on” You mumbled, causing Fred to chuckle from behind you, before returning to his original position with his arm wrapped around you, this time his skin coming in direct contact with you.

You warmed up fairly quickly, both from body heat, and the fact that you and Fred have never been this close and your heart was racing at a trillion miles per hours. You had just started to get a hold on your jitters, when Fred moved his hand, trailing his fingers up your side and making small patterns on your arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake.

“Is this ok?” Fred asked, a gentleness to his tone

“Mhm” You mumbled, the action starting to lull you to sleep, before you felt his hand move from your arm to your shoulder, then to your neck, then to the side of your face, his feather light touches almost tickling your skin.

“Is this?” Fred asked once again.

“Yeah” You replied, a bit more awake now, then again, you could be dreaming. However the possibility of this moment being in your imagination was quickly whisked away when you felt warm lips connect to your shoulder, before moving up toward your neck, leaving short wet kisses in his wake, he finally landed just below your ear.

“Is this ok?” He whispered, 

You turned in the sleeping bag so you were now facing him, “Yes” You said before moving your hand to cup his face, and closing the space between you. Fred took no time to react, moving his arm to wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him, your chest now fully pressed against his.

Without breaking the kiss, you moved your hand from his face down to his chest, when you gently pushed him backwards, so he was now laying on his back, and you were straddling him, Fred's large hands coming to rest on your thighs. 

Fred gently bit your lower lip, and you opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to intertwine with yours. As the kiss deepened, your hips began to rock against his, his hardened member now painfully obvious.

You trailed one of your hands up his chest, landing on his head before entangling your fingers in his hair and giving it a light tug. This sent Fred over the edge, gripping your legs to flip you over so you were now laying beneath him, a started yelp escaping your lips.

“Shh, darling. We need to be quiet” Fred rasped into your ear, placing open mouthed kisses along your jaw and down your neck, causing a chill to run down your spine, before his reached around behind you, unclasping your bra which you quickly discarded

Fred continued to kiss downwards, his hand coming upwards to grasp your breast as his lips met the other, nipping and sucking at the sensitive flesh, before continuing the attack on the other, most likely leaving marks for the morning.

He continued kissing downwards, stopping once he reached the elastic of your panties, looking up at you and kissing the inside of your knee, your thigh, your hips, everywhere except where you needed him.

“Fred please stop teasing I- oh god!” You started, protesting his slow pace before quickly moving the fabric to the side, licking a long stripe from your core to your bundle of nerves.

Your head fell back against your pillows, one hand moving to cover your mouth while the other went down to run your fingers through his hair, Fred moaning as you pulled on his fiery strands, sending the vibrations straight to your core.

As Fred continued to eat you out, you struggled to remain quiet, the hand covering your mouth doing almost nothing to contain your moans. You were just about to reach your high, your head rolling back and your toes curling when Fred pulled away.

“What the fuck Fred?” You almost sobbed, frustrated that he had stolen your orgasm. Fred crawled his way back up your body, quickly pulling his wand out from beside the sleeping bag, and casting a silencing charm on the tent.

“I want to be inside you when you come, and I want to hear you screaming my name” Fred whispered into your ear, causing your eyes to widen at the boldness of his statement. Your surprise was quickly overcome with lust as Fred leaned down to re connect your lips, allowing you to taste yourself on him.

You broke the kiss and quickly kicked your panties the rest of the way off, Fred moving to remove his pajama pants, freeing his cock which slapped against his toned stomach. You gasped as Fred guided himself to your core, teasing your folds before slowly pushing into you, his size stretching you perfectly.

He waited a few seconds for you to adjust, only moving when you nodded that you were ready. He pulled out half way, before slowly thrusting back, bottoming out completely before repeating his movements, gaining speed with each thrust.

Fred brushed past your spot with each snap of his hips, making it impossible to contain your moans. Your hands moved up his back, digging your fingernails into his back desperate to bring him closer.

“So fucking perfect, you take my cock so well” Fred practically growled, sucking marks into the crook of your neck as his high approached.

“Oh fuck Fred, I- I’m close” You gasped, the coil in your stomach getting tighter with each trust.

Fred reached down and lifted your leg over his shoulder, creating a whole new angle that hit that one spot perfectly every time, before moving his fingers to your core, making small fast circles around your clit.

“Cum for me baby” Fred said, and a few seconds later the coil in your stomach snapped, your back arching as you rode out your orgasm.

Fred’s thrusts became sloppy as he came shorty after you, helping you to ride out your orgasm, before finally slowing to a stop. You stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath as you came down from your high, before Fred pulled out of you, causing you to whine from the empty feeling. 

He laid back in him original spot, the both of you staring at the ceiling for a moment, before a chuckle escaped your lips, causing Fred to look over at you.

“No funny business” You quoted yourself from earlier, “That was a fucking lie”

Both you and Fred erupted into a fit of laughter, the sudden realization of ‘I just fucked my best friend, and it was awesome’ setting in.

“Bra stays on” Fred quoted you from earlier “Also a fucking lie” 

“Would you have rather it stayed on?” You asked through giggles

“Oh hell no, in fact, get rid of it I never want to see it again” Fred replied, sending you both into another fit of chuckles.

“That's what I thought” You said once the laughing had died down, suddenly becoming a bit self conscious about the whole situation as a thousand questions went through your mind. Was this a one time thing? Does he actually like me or did he just want to fuck? Should I move? Should I-

“I think I’m in love with you” Fred suddenly said from beside you, your head snapping to look at him, his eyes already on you.

“What?” You asked, not sure if you were hearing him correctly.

“I think I’m in love with you. I have been for a while actually” Fred started, causing your brain to short-circuit “Your so funny, and kind, and smart, and fuck you're so hot, but you’re also so beautiful and I just-”

You cut off Fred’s rambling by connecting the space between you once again, connecting your lips to his, one to show that you felt the same way, but to also double check to make sure you weren't dreaming. 

“I think I love you too” You said after you broke away from the kiss, a smile crossing the red heads face.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah” You replied, smiling back at him.

Fred leaned down and kissed you again, before wrapping his arms around you pulling you closer to him, your head now resting on his chest, his heartbeat beginning to lull you to sleep.

“Y/N?” Fred asked, whispering so he didn’t startle you.

“Hmm?” You mumbled back, already half asleep.

“Are you still cold? Because if you are we could always go for round two?” Fred asked jokingly, laughing when you smacked his shoulder.

“Fred!”

Needless to say... there was a round two.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: SMUT WITH PLOT??? In this economy??? 

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed! I don’t write smut very often so I hope it was ok! Feel free to leave any requests or comments if you’d like. Also i have a taglist now so lmk if you want to be added! Love you all!

Taglist:  @levylovegood​

[pitterpatterpot]

Can you please write a prompt when Aedion and Fenrys do something stupid but Gavriel and Vaughan catch them doing it, or shortly after with 114, 115, 116, 148 and 152?

Ah. When a family has the reckless members and the tired members.

114. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

115. “I mean, it could be worse.”

116. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

148. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”

152. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

From a similar ask:

214. “Don’t you ever do that again.”

217. “H-How long have you been standing there?”

~~~

“This is, by far, the best and worse idea you’ve ever had,” Fenrys grumbles, looking down from their perch on the snow-slicked roof of Vaughan’s mountain holiday home.

“I’m a general, I’ve commanded an army,” Aedion reminds him, calculating the distance between them and the ground. “I think some of those decisions were pretty good and bad.”

“If Gavriel finds out about this, we’re dead.”

“Gavriel worries too much.”

“About you? Yes. About me? Only how he’ll kill me when he finds out I went along with this.”

“You bought the sled!”

“For the mountain! To go sledding down the mountain! Not the damn roof!”

And there they are, perched right before the slope of Aelin’s roof, Aedion on the from of the sled with Fenrys on the back. Fresh snow from the night before layers the roof and the ground below.

“I’m telling you, Aelin and I did this as kids. We were always fine. Her father would cheer.”

“I’m taking your word for it.” Fenrys huffs. “We have until the others get back from their hike.”

“You can pretend you’re against this all you want,” Aedion shuffles the sled closer to the slope, “but you were still the one who spent an hour looking for a way to fit the sled through the manhole.”

“I have to at least pretend to be against this,” Fenrys grumbles as a smile tries to fight it’s way through. “I’m supposed to be the elder here. Did you shovel extra snow at the bottom?”

“No, I’m an idiot who wants our bones to break,” Aedion huffs. “Yes, there’s extra snow at the bottom.”

They shuffle close together on the sled, a smaller model meant for winter fun. They stare down at the end of the roof, both grinning maniacally as they contemplate the small drop. Nothing compared to facing an army. Fenrys wraps his arms around Aedion, the younger of the two braced at the front. With one precarious movement the front of the sled is tipping forward.

And they’re off.

They both release a cheer as they fly over the icy surface of the roof, Aedion pulling up on the reins when they reach the edge as to avoid a complete nose dive. Yet the back of the sled catches on gutter, causing both of them to yelp as they fly off the sled in different directions. Both bodies land in the snow, a deafening crack sounding out.

“Aedion?” Fenrys gasps as he hauls himself up, looking in the direction of the sound.

He unwinds at the view of Aedion groaning just next to him. Then he freezes, eyes fixating on where the porch guardrail is cracked and ripped apart. And even worse, the scent of blood perpetuates the air.

“I mean,” Aedion mumbles from beside him, “this could be worse.”

Fenrys says nothing.

“Things don’t always turn out the way you want them to,” Aedion groans, rolling onto his back. “At least, not the first time. We can try again later.”

“Aedion-“

“What?”

“You have a shard of wood sticking out of your leg.”

Aedion looks down where he, indeed, has a wedge of the rail pierced through his calf muscle. He hums.

“Well,” Aedion sits up, “this wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“Gavriel is going to kill me,” Fenrys hisses, shifting to his knees and immedtaleaning over the injured leg. “Fucking hell, he is going to slaughter me. I can’t heal this! I’m not as good at healing as he is!”

“Just try and we won’t have to tell Gavriel!”

Without warning Fenrys grabs a pile of snow and shives it on top of Aedion’s leg, causing him to hiss and jerk in irritation. Fenrys ensures the small puddle of blood is covered in record time, grateful that the snow helps muffle the scent. Aedion stares at Fenrys in disbelief, annoyance dripping off him in waves.

“What the hell-“

“Aedion! Fenrys!”

Aedion stiffens, turning to see Gavriel and Vaughanwalk towards them from the forest clearing.

“Gavriel! Vaughan,” Aedion clears his throat. “H-How long have you been standing there?”

“We headed back early from the hike,” his father explains, making his way over to them. “By the way, I thought I heard you say you had something to tell me? I heard you as I was arriving.”

“Fae hearing!” Fenrys declares loudly, laughing and sending Aedion a warning glance. “We sure can hear from far away!”

Vaughan and Gavriel share a befuddled look.

“I know? Fenrys, what’s going on, are you- my gods!” Gavriel’s expression turns to one of shock. “The railing! What did-“ he glances at the sleigh, then the roof, his expression turning thunderous.

Both Aedion and Fenrys shrink under his gaze as he turns back to them, golden eyes on fire.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Gavriel asks, voice low and slow.

“Shit,” Vaughan mutters, wincing at Gavriel’s growl, turning away examine the broken rail.

Both males swallow at the gaze and tone. They share a look, silently fighting between themselves as to who will speak.

“Please, don’t rush,” Gavriel crosses his arms. “After all, we can just stay here until someone confesses.”

Fenrys winces and his eyes twitch towards Aedion’s leg. Gavriel catches the action.

“Aedion,” Gavriel says, “stand up.”

“Ah,” Aedion pats his thighs. “I would, but I’m quite comfortable.”

“Really? You’re comfortable?”

“That’s right.”

“Sitting in the snow?”

“Reminds me of my childhood.”

Gavriel inhales a large breath, closing his eyes to steady and calm himself. After counting to three he turns to Fenrys, pinning the younger male with a look. Fenrys begins to squirm. Aedion grits his teeth and sends him a warning glare. Gavriel narrows his eyes. Aedion does the same. Fenrys avoids looking them both in the eye the best he can, sweat gathering on the back of his neck and father and son both send him equally threatening looks.

“Why is Aedion pale?” Gavriel questions Fenrys.

“I’m cold,” Aedion interjects.

“Lies. You were raised in this climate,” Gavriel barks, then turns back to Fenrys. “I want an answer from you.”

Fenrys bites his lip.

“I will call Aelin back,” Gavriel lowers his voice further, “and she will wonder what happened to Aedion. Are you willing to withhold that information from her?”

Fenrys swallows.

“Just tell him,” Vaughan advices from the porch, looking up to where the gutter is cracked.

“And what about me?” Gavriel continues. “I trained you. Will you deny me information of my only precious child?”

“Oh, gods above!” Aedion chokes, reaching out to grasp Fenrys’s shoulder. “We’re fine! There’s a reasonable explanation for all of this! You can stop with the guilt tripping crap.”

Gavriel ignores his son. Instead, he continues to focus on Fenrys.

“Seriously, Gavriel, we’re fi-“

“Aedion and I sled off the roof but tipped forward too much and broke the railing and Aedion has a piece of wood stabbed through his leg!” Fenrys pauses and heaves in a deep breath, finally relaxing from the strain.

“You what?!”

“Well, fuck.”

“You bastard.”

Gavriel whirls on Aedion, immediately crouching and removing the snow on his leg. Aedion grunts as his father accidentally nudges the shard in his leg. Gavriel swears when he sees it.

“I’m fine,” Aedion drawls as Gavriel examines the wound. “If I can handle being stabbed I can handle a bit of wood.”

“You’re lucky this was so thoroughly polished and varnished,” Gavriel braces Aedion leg with a hand on his knee. “Otherwise you’d have to worry about splinters. Take a breath.”

In a swift movement Gavriel yanks the wood free of Aedion’s flesh, his son barking a curse at the splitting pain before Gavriel’s warm magic seeps through him, his father’s cedar and sage scent potent with anger. Aedion goes to thank him but freezes with the way Gavriel’s eyes are already pinned on him, dark with anger and his jaw twitching.

“You’re pissed,” Aedion sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Gavriel says nothing, focusing on the leg. Aedion squirms at the lack of response, Fenrys looking away and choosing to walk up to Vaughan, the two of them awkwardly standing to the side. The last of Aedion’s skin stitches together and Gavriel turns away, picking up the largest section of broken railing and setting it against the wall of the holiday house. He then commences in picking up smaller shards, ensuring they’re all out of the snow and settled on the porch. Fenrys and Aedion watch him do this, the earlier helping the later to his feet.

“Inside,” Gavriel says, not looking at them as he enters the cabin.

They follow after him, standing awkwardly to the side as Gavriel fills the main fireplace with wood and begins striking the flints. Vaughan drags in the sled behind them, scowling as he does so.He jerks his head towards the couch, clearly indicating for Fenrys and Aedion to sit. They both do so.

Once the fire seems steady Gavriel makes his way over to them. He sits on the low table in front of the couch, examining the two of them. Vaughan leans against the fireplace, dark eyes simmering as he takes everything in.

“So,” Gavriel begins, anger still thick, “who wants to explain what happened?”

“It was my idea,” Aedion immediately interjects, ignoring Fenrys’s frantic look. “Aelin and I used to sled off the roof of her old holiday house as kids. I didn’t factor in the issue that this house has a guardrail to avoid or that Fenrys and I would be heavy.”

Silence stretches between them. Fenrys cringes at the way Gavriel pins them both under his stare. Aedion shifts at the silence.

“What I’m thinking,” Gavriel begins slowly, “is that you two must have the combined maturity of two children to have ever thought sledding off the roof would be a good idea.”

Aedion and Fenrys share a concerned look. Gavriel narrows his eyes as they look away.

“Do not,” he growls lowly, “look away from me as I am speaking to you.”

Aedion’s eyes widen, turning back to his father. Fenrys seems less shocked at the severity of the anger and more apprehensive of it.

“Not only did you engage in a completely ridiculous and childish task,” Gavriel begins, “but you damaged the house and Aedion injured himself in the process.”

“I’m fine,” Aedion scowls. “You healed me and there isn’t even a scar.”

Gavriel narrows his eyes. Fenrys winces.

“That is not the point,” Gavriel begins. “And the fact that you don’t realise that isn’t the point is even worse. You shouldn’t put your own health and safety at risk and you, Fenrys, should be mature enough after all these centuries to automatically know that sledding off a roof is a bad idea!”

“You’re right,” Fenrys agrees, sitting straight. “I apologise for indulging in such an immature act.”

Satisfied, Gavriel turns to Aedion.

“I’m sorry for endangering myself,” Aedion admits. “Especially over something so stupid.”

“Good,” Gavriel huffs. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Trust me, it’s not on the list,” Aedion promises.

Gavriel nods. “While you two may be grown males and I can’t ground you, I candemand that you help me with cutting and moving more lumber tomorrow.”

With that Gavriel stands and stalks his way to his room, the door closing decisively behind him. Both males relax at the sound of the click, Fenrys releasing an audible breath.

“My gods,” Fenrys groans, sliding down the couch and rubbing at his face, “I thought for sure he was going to kill us. Cutting up timber is nothing, becoming a father must have softened him.”

Aedion nods. But they both stiffen at a barked laugh, snapping to attention as Vaughan stalks toward them. The look on his face suggests he knows they forgot about him and will regret it.

“He’s not giving you a harsher punishment because he knows you’re going to be working your asses off all night helping me fix this railing,” Vaughan narrows his eyes, jerking a hand towards the door. “I worked hard on this house. Now get off your asses and get ready for some woodwork. Be outside in five minutes.”

Vaughan slams the front door behind him as he exits the house, Aedion and Fenrys still able to hear him grumbling as he trudges his way through the snow to a shed with supplies. They turn at the squeaking of hinges, Gavriel sticking his head out of his bedroom.

“He’s a perfectionist,” Gavriel dryly informs them. “Get ready to redo the whole porch railing.”

With that he closes the door once again, leaving the two males to wince and wilt, dreading the night of work ahead of them.

[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Two

a/n: here we are! a little shorter than part one, but there’s some good stuff in here I think! enjoy! (also reblogs/feedback is super helpful) not proofread

warnings: fluff, slight smut (but not with who you think) 

words: 10K

masterpost

You groan heavily when your alarm goes off at 5AM Tuesday morning. You wanted to make sure your body had time to go to the bathroom before Harry picked you up. You knuckle at your eyes, and then get out of bed. You make yourself a quick iced coffee, and then get dressed. You decide on a cropped pair of leggings and one of your t-shirts that wicks away sweat. You pack an extra pair of socks, another shirt, and another sports bra just in case you get really sweaty. You make yourself some trail mix, and throw an extra water into your pack. Harry said he would bring actual sandwiches for the two of you. You get your ponytail through your hat, and use the bathroom again before waiting him.

Harry: here

You grab your pack and head out to his car. He had similar attire on as he did when you hiked with him the last time. Shorts, a sleeveless top, bandana and clip holding his hair back. You both nod at each other. It was still too early to speak. When you get to the trailhead you both spray each other with bug spray and begin.

“How long do you think it’ll take?” You speak up.

“Why, you in a hurry?” He smirks at you.

“No.” You nudge him. “Just wondering.”

“It’s about two and half miles up. It’s gradual, but there are also some really steep parts. If I were jogging, it would only take a couple of hours, but we can take our time. That’s why I wanted to leave so early.”

“You’ve…you’ve jogged this?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “It’s just running uphill.”

“Big nope from me.” You laugh. “I like the idea of just taking our time.”

“You get a fuller experience that way, I think. Don’t be afraid to tell me you need a break too. Some of the steeper parts are killer.”

“Will do.”

You both talk about your fall courses, what you plan to do differently, if anything. You talk about how you’re actually excited to have some student advisees, and how you might approach the meetings.

“It’s okay not to be super serious. Most importantly, you just need to listen, which you should have no problem with. You’re a good listener.” He says, blushing slightly.

“Sort of trained to be one.” You chuckle. “But I get what you mean. Now that I know the curriculum and the course sequence a little better, I definitely feel more confident to lead them in the…wow…that is steep.” You gulp as you look at the area ahead.

“We’ll just take our time.” He smiles. “It’s not a race.”

You make it up the first steep hump, and you tell him you need a water break.

“Christ, and here I thought I was in shape.”

“Hiking can be pretty humbling.” He uses a rag to wipe some sweat from his forehead, and takes a drink of water as well. “All set?”

“Mhm, let’s keep going.”

Every so often you stop to take pictures, and there is a moment where Harry veers off so he can have a “wee”, as he would call it. You had drank half your bottle of water and you definitely needed to pee too, but you were too embarrassed.

“Are you sure you don’t need to go?”

“I’m fine.”

“Look, that’s a flatter area, you could-“

“What if I get a mosquito bite…down there?” You whisper.

“It’s not mosquito season.” He laughs. “Did you bring some T-“

“Yes.” You mumble.

“So, just go, it’s fine. You’re being silly. I’ll stand right over there and keep watch.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” You groan and take the bit of toilet paper you brought out of your bag. Your eyes stay glued to the back Harry’s head while you do your business. You stick your rubbish into a plastic bag and stuff it away, then you use some hand sanitizer. “Okay.”

“All set?” He turns to look at you. “Not so bad, was it?”

“Not something I’d like to make a habit of, but no, it wasn’t terrible.”

It takes about two and half hours to get to the summit. You both were sticky with sweat, but it was worth it from the view alone.

“Oh my god.” You say slowly as you look around. “This is incredible.”

“Isn’t it? I feel so lucky to live here.”

“I’m starting to feel the same way for sure.” You take a few photos before sitting down, letting out a sigh.

You look over at Harry who’s taking his shirt off and your eyes widen. You knew about the birds on his collar bones, but the butterfly and the ferns were a complete surprise. Harry had such a nice body. He was toned, but still had a softness to him. He notices you looking at him and he blushes.

“Sorry, I’m soaked.”

“No, it’s okay…sorry, I just…your tattoos, I haven’t seen those ones.”

“Oh…” He looks down at himself. “I got these so long ago. Got a few more you haven’t seen.” He pulls up one side of his shorts so you can see the tiger on his thigh.

“Didn’t those huge ones hurt?”

“Eh.” He says sitting down next to you, grabbing a sip of his water. “Some did and some didn’t. The trick is to get a little tipsy beforehand.” He winks at you. He leans back on his elbows and closes his eyes for a moment before looking out at the view again.

“You know, I think you had the right idea about the shirt…do you mind?”

“What?”

“Well, if I took mine off for a bit. I packed myself a spare, but-“

“Oh! Yeah, um, I don’t care, uh, do what makes you comfortable.”

You nod and peel your shirt off. You lay it on the ground next to you, feeling better already from the breeze hitting your hot skin. You were glad you thought to wear one of your cuter sports bras. Your heart was racing slightly, mostly because it had been a while since you had last taken your clothes off in front of someone, but it was just Harry, after all.

“I brought some peanut butter sandwiches, are you hungry? I know it’s not exactly lunch time, but-“

“That sounds amazing, I’m starving. I didn’t eat beforehand.”

“You didn’t?!” He sits up fully.

“I didn’t want to have to…really go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, Y/N.” He laughs while he gets the sandwiches out of his pack. “Here.”

“Thank you.” She notices his eyes drift to her cleavage. It was only for a moment, and she didn’t mind it.

“No problem.”

If Harry were twenty-years-old he’d probably try to make a move. Kiss you, press you up against a tree, fuck, put his hand over your mouth so other hikers wouldn’t be able to hear you moan. But he wasn’t twenty-years-old, he was thirty-two, and he had an eleven-year-old son who he wouldn’t want to treat a woman like that. He wanted to set a good example, to show him how a respectful man treats a woman. So, he eats his own sandwich, trying to keep his eyes anywhere but your body.

“Do you want some trail mix?” You take it out of your bag.

“Sure! Thanks.” He reaches his hand in the bag and takes some out.

You guzzle down some more of your water and stand up. You didn’t want to sit too long and get stiff.

“Harry, would you take my picture?”

“Of course.” He stands up and takes your phone. He smiles at your smile as he snaps the photo.

“How about a selfie?”

“Of the two of us?”

“Yeah.”

“Like this?” You made him so fucking nervous, he was never like this with anyone else.

“I don’t care if you don’t. I’ll just stand here, and you can stand in front of me to get the shot.”

“Oh, right.” He thought to maybe put his arm around you, but that clearly wasn’t happening. You both smile and he takes the shot.

“Do you two want a picture?” A woman says. She was with a couple of other people. “I’d be happy to take it for you.”

“That would be great!” You snatch your phone from Harry’s hand and give it to her. “Are you still sweaty?” You look up at him.

“I don’t think so.”

“Good.” You put your arm around his waist, and he puts an arm around you, hand on your shoulder.

“Alright, I took a couple.”

“Thank you so much, would your group like any?”

“Would you mind?”

“Not at all.”

You take a few photos for the group and then you look over the photos of you and Harry.

“These are great.” You smile and show him.

“You’ll send those to me, yeah?”

“Of course.”

“I’m walking down like this, I don’t wanna get my spare shirt sweaty. I was thinking we could grab a real lunch after this…if you don’t mind me taking up your entire day that is.”

“I would love nothing more than to stuff my face after this, Har.”

You decide to just go down in your sports bra, not wanting to get your spare shirt sweaty either. The way down feels like it takes no time at all. It was definitely easier to hike down a mountain than to hike up a mountain. That is, until you got to one of the steeper parts.

“Just step down on the side and take slow steps. Don’t go straight down.”

“Would, um, hold my hand? I’m a little nervous.”

“Of course.” He looks back at you and takes your hand, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

He helps you down the steeper parts, taking your hand each time until things get more gradual again. You feel incredibly proud of yourself once you’re back at the parking area.

“That was amazing, Harry. I feel amazing.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“Andy’s done that with you before?”

“Oh, sure. Plenty of times.”

“Incredible.” You chuckle as you grab your spare bra and shirt from your pack. Harry dabs his chest with a rag before putting his t-shirt on. “Shit, where should I change?”

“Um…backseat?”

“I’ll just be a second.”

He nods and waits outside the car while you quickly change. You feel so much relief letting your breasts free, giving yourself a second to cool off before putting your fresh bra on. You pull your t-shirt on overhead and get out to sit in the passenger seat. Harry hops in the driver’s seat and off you go.

“I can’t believe it’s only 12:30.”

“Another benefit of getting up early. Did you see how full the lot was? People are so uneducated. I’d never start a hike now.”

“I know! There were so many people going up when we were coming down. I couldn’t believe it.”

“And now they’ll have to rush.”

“Have you ever hiked at night before?”

“I have, actually. I used to help lead this moonlit hike thing during move-in weekend for first year students. It was a lot of fun.”

“How come you stopped?”

“Not a junior faculty anymore.” He shrugs. “I just didn’t feel like it after a certain point. I still help with other things, but I definitely don’t give up all my free time to the school anymore.”

“I volunteered for that casino night last fall. I was on campus until almost midnight, I was pooped. Sometimes those kids make me feel so old.”

“You’re not old.” He chuckles.

“I mean, I know, I just feel out of touch sometimes.”

“How can a person who studies social media feel out of touch?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“It’s more so the lingo. I was giving a lecture, and I made a really great point, and when I was done one student shouted ‘period’ and everyone laughed. I had to look it up on urban dictionary.” You both laugh at that.

Harry drives into town, and parks near the local diner.

“How do you feel about brunch?”

“Sounds amazing.”

You both get out and head inside. The morning rush was gone already, so you’re sat right away. You both inhale your food. Greasy hash browns and omelets. And coffee, a lot more coffee. You split the bill and Harry starts the drive to your apartment.

“So, you’ll hike with me again?”

“I’ll hike with you again.” You nod with a smile. “Do you think Andy will be jealous?”

“Nah, he already knows. I’m sure he’ll be expecting lots of details.”

“About what?”

“Um, just how the view was and all that.”

“Right.” He pulls up in front of your house, and you both look at each other. “One of these days you’ll let me pick you up.” You unbuckle your seat belt and he nods. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime.”

“I’d hug you…but I’m a little gross, so…”

“No worries.”

“Well…” You weren’t sure what the next time you were going to see him was.

“Sometimes, while Andy is still in school, I’ll use the library on campus to work on things. It’s got a/c…less stuffy than our offices. I usually only go on a rainy day, but-“

“Cute, we can study together like classmates.” You giggle. “I’ll let you know if I decide to use the space.” You smile and get out of the car.

//

Harry was enjoying his shower, it was quick, but it was good to clean off. He throws on some comfy clothes and nearly dozes off on the couch.

“Dad, I’m home!” Andy shouts, immediately waking him up. “How was the hike?” He plops down on the couch next to Harry.

“It was good, Y/N had a nice time.”

“Is she going to come camping with us?”

“I’m…not sure.” He sighs. “That’s not something just a friend would join in on, you know?”

“I don’t, but…”

“I’m not going to press her about it, I think she’s thinking it over. We’ve got time yet…” He sits up a little straighter. “When Mum comes to get you on Friday she’s going to come in for a bit and chat.”

“About what?”

“What you want to do this summer.”

“I spend summers with you.”

“Yes, but usually you spend the school year with her, that’s why you get me over the summer.”

“You don’t want me this summer?” He leans into him to rest his head on Harry’s chest, and Harry puts his arm around his son.

“Of course I do, but your Mum wants you too. I don’t know, I’m going to propose she get you for July, and I get you for August, I think that’s a good compromise, but she may not see it that way.”

“What about June?”

“Well, you have school for most of June, so you could go be with her end of June through July. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it? I wouldn’t hate having my own lake to swim in every day.”

“I guess that’s true…and Noah’s boat is pretty cool.” He sighs.

“I just wanted to give you the heads up.”

“Thanks.”

Harry was up reading in bed later that night. The rain had started and he could hear it tapping on his window, almost starting to lull him to sleep. He heard his phone buzz and his eyes lit up when he saw it was you.

You: hey! Almost forgot to send these to you!

You sent along all of the photos from the day.

Harry: thanks! Really glad that lady was there to take these of us

You: me too…so when exactly is this camping trip?

Harry: middle of June…when Andy gets out of school…June 20th I think

You: if I really won’t be intruding, I think I’d like to go. I’m trying to do more things to get out of my comfort zone

Harry: are you serious?! He’ll be so excited…I mean, I’m excited too.

Harry: I think he wants his friend Brandon to come so having another adult there would be a huge help

He didn’t want his first text to sound too eager.

You: lol well I’m happy to help how I can ;p you’ll tell me what to pack and all that right? I literally have no idea what I would need for overnight stuff

Harry: if you can get yourself a sleeping bag you’ll be all set, I have two tents and a ton of camping stuff. You would just want to bring your own food, clothes, etc.

You: alright sounds good :)

//

Harry hadn’t told Andy about you coming on the trip just yet. He wanted to save it as good news in case the conversation about summer with Paige didn’t go well.

“I guess let’s just start.” Paige says after eating a quick dinner with Harry and Andy in Harry’s home. “Ideally, what would you prefer?” She asks her son.

“To not go back and forth a lot. It stresses me out, I feel like I need to remember every little thing I don’t have two of.”

“Do you have any vacations or anything planned?” Harry asks, looking at his planner. “Right now for us it’s just the camping trip, and that’ll only be the weekend he gets out of school.”

“I was hoping to have him for the fourth. The Barrett’s are coming to staycation at the rental two doors down.”

“Really?!” Andy perks up. “I like when they visit.”

“So…why not spend the rest of June with me,” Harry begins. “You could do July with mum, and then come back to me mid-August.”

“That actually sounds good to me.” Paige says.

“What about Brandon?”

“It’s only a thirty minute drive, I’m sure his dad won’t mind it when you two wanna hang out. Hell, I’ll even come pick you up and bring back here if need be.”

“And if there’s a weekend you wanna just come see Dad in July, you can. You won’t be held hostage.”

“It’s just…you work during the day, Mum.”

“I know honey, but Noah’s got the home office. He can stay in with you and Rachel, and you two could go swimming and have fun at the lake. He could take you on boat rides too.”

“Okay.”

“Really?” She says.

“Yeah, I think all that seems fair.” He looks at the two of them. “I know…I know I can be sort of difficult sometimes, and I’m really grateful that I got to spend the school year with Dad, and I really hope I get to do it again…”

“I think that can be arranged.” Paige smiles. “You’ve never done so well in school, we’re both so proud of you.”

“Yeah, bud, I think this school was a good fit for you.”

“So…I’ll be able to do it again next year, I can keep living with you?”

“If that’s what you want, Mum and I are okay with this new arrangement.”

Andy shoots out of his seat and hugs the both of them.

“Go on and get your things for the weekend, sweetheart.” Paige smiles.

“Okay!” Andy races into his room.

“You’re surprisingly cool with all this.” Harry says to her as they both stand.

“I want him to be happy, and if he’s happier here then what can I do?” She shrugs. “Are you alright continuing to take all this on?”

“Yeah, plus he’s getting older. He can be home for a bit before I am.” Paige hums her response. “How, um, how did you feel about my friend?”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah.”

“She was really nice! She seems sweet, why?”

“She’s going to come camping with us.” Harry whispers. “And I just wanted to make sure you felt comfortable with it.”

“Oh, Harry.” Paige smiles. “Thank you, yeah, I’m perfectly fine with it. Andy seems to really like her.”

“Who?” Andy says, coming out with his backpack and duffle.

“Y/N.” Harry says. “I told her how you wanted Brandon to come camping, and I’ll need some help, so she’s coming camping with us.”

“She is?! Oh my god, we gotta work on your flirting then, Dad. You need help.”

“Excuse me? I’m great at flirting.” He scoffs. “Back me up.” He says to Paige.

“It’s true, Andy.” She chuckles. “Your dad can really turn on the charm when he wants to.”

“Well, you didn’t see him trying to ask her to come to my birthday party. I thought he was going to wet his pants!” He laughs.

“Oi, I was just trying to play it cool before you blurted it out.”

“So, what, you have a thing for her?” Paige asks.

“I like her, yeah.”

“Does she like you?”

“She must if she’s coming overnight with us, right?”

“You know, I’ve never really known you to hold back with a woman you liked before…” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“I work with her, it’s a little more complicated. She’s mentioned a couple of times how she doesn’t think dating in the workplace is smart, just offhand, so I’ve been nervous.”

“I think you guys should hang out again before the trip.” Andy says. “Oh! You could go to her place to help her pack.”

“I’m not gonna invite myself over!” Harry rolls his eyes. “Alright, that’s enough. Go have a good weekend with Mum.”

Andy laughs and gives his dad a hug before leaving with Paige.

//

“God, you feel so good, it’s been way too long.” Ray grunts in your ear. “Should have never stopped doing this.”

Ray was an old flame from your previous institution. You decided to go home to Boston this weekend because your brother had some new recipes he wanted you to try. You happened to bump into Ray at a bar, and went with him back to his place for some promised fun. He was a decent enough fuck, he knew how to scratch your itch, and that was good enough right now. Although, you didn’t feel the need to answer his dirty talk. You just grunt and moan and try to focus on what you’re after.

You’re close, but you’re not quite getting there. He was fucking into you from behind, and hitting the right spots, but it wasn’t…it just wasn’t…

Harry.

Your fingers slip to your clit, and you rub harsh circles into yourself as Ray continues to fuck into you. Your eyes pinch closed, and suddenly there are tattooed arms around you. A raspy, deep voice in your ear.

“Come on, you can do it. Show how you make yourself come.”

Your eyes snap open and roll back when you feel your release. You cry out and collapse onto the bed after Ray spills into the condom. You get up after catching your breath to use the bathroom. Ray watches as you put your clothes on.

“Going so soon?”

“Yeah, I’m staying with my brother…be sort of weird not to come back tonight.”

“It was great to be able to do this again.”

“Yeah.” You smile and kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for the fun.”

On your uber ride back, it starts to settle into your mind that you just had to fantasize about your friend, Harry Styles, to get off while having sex with someone else. This wasn’t an accidental dream, this was on purpose.

“Shit.” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. This camping trip wasn’t going to be easy.

//

Harry: hey! Was wondering if you want to come out and have some ice cream with Andy and I? He got straight A’s! Think it’s worth celebrating.

You: oh wow! Sure, I could definitely meet up for ice cream. Just at the place down town?”

Harry: yup! 6:30PM work?

You: sure! See you soon :)

Harry: :)

“Andy…”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Wh…what’s this?” He shows Andy the text conversation on his phone.

“Oh…I, uh, asked Y/N to get ice cream with us while you were in the shower.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me to ask her?!”

“Does it matter? She said yes.”

“Of course it matters! Ugh, I can’t believe I’m gonna have to change my passcode again.” He reads over the conversation again. “I should ground you or something…no toppings on your ice cream.”

“But-“

“Sorry, thems the rules.” Harry smirks and grabs his keys.

You were waiting patiently outside of the ice cream shop for the two of them. You smile when you see Harry’s car pull up. They both get out and greet you.

“Congratulations, Andy.”

“Thanks!” He gives you a quick hug before going inside. You and Harry follow.

“Hey, uh…” He grabs your wrist. “Not that I’m upset or anything…but he actually stole my phone and texted you.”

“Oh!” You start laughing. “Glad I didn’t say anything naughty then.” You wink and walk up to the ice cream counter. You all get your ice cream and sit at a table across the street in the town common. “No toppings, Andy? I’m surprised you didn’t get a sundae.”

“Dad said I couldn’t.” He huffs, and bites into his mint chip ice cream.

“That’s what you get for stealing my phone, you little bugger.” Harry jostles the hair on Andy’s head, and Andy swats his hand away. “Did you have a nice weekend with your brother?”

You nearly choke on your ice cream. You clear your throat and nod.

“Yeah, um, yeah it was good. He came up with this new sauce for his raviolis, it was delicious.”

“Do anything else? Must be nice to go to a city that has things open past 9PM.” He chuckles.

“Um, yeah, I mean I went out, but nothing too exciting to report back.” You were blushing slightly. “So, Andy, straight A’s, how’d you manage that?”

“Brandon and I call each other to do homework a lot. He’s really smart.”

“So are you, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve worked hard this year.” Harry says.

“Yeah, but Brandon’s, like, really smart.” You furrow your brows a little as your lips curve up. It almost sounded like Andy was swooning. “He’s really excited to come camping with us this weekend. Are you excited too, Y/N?”

“I’m…excited to see how it goes.” You laugh. “Should be interesting to say the least. Instead of you coming to get me I could just meet you at your house so we can leave from there.”

“That would be great. Brandon’s sleeping over the night before so we can just get up and go.”

“You should sleep over too, Y/N.” Andy says.

“Andy.” Harry says to him.

“I’ll need all the sleep I can get before camping, and in order to do that I need my own bed, but thank you very much for the offer.” You smile.

“I could swing by the night before, though, and pack everything up in the car.” Harry says.

“Now there’s an idea.” You say with a grin.

//

“Okay, I’m trusting you both to be good while I’m gone for a bit. I shouldn’t be out too long, but still. Please be good.”

“We’re literally watching a movie then going to sleep, I don’t think we’re going to burn the house down.” Andy says, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, Mr. Styles, go see your girlfriend, we’ll be fine.”

“She’s not my…” He sighs. “I’ll be back soon.”

Harry drives to your apartment, and you buzz him in when he gets there. You had gotten caught up all day doing research, so you were running around in a tank top, shorts, and socks. Your door was open for him. It was the first time he had ever been inside your place.

“Y/N?”

“Coming!” You yell from your bedroom. “I’m so sorry, I’m not quite all there yet.” You say, dragging out your pack. “I can’t seem to get the sleeping bag on here without it unravelling.” You look up at him and pout.

Harry was sweating. Even though he had seen you in just a sports bra and leggings, this was almost more revealing.

“I can, uh, get it to stay on there tighter for you.”

“You’re amazing.” You go back into your room to pull out a couple of more things. “I definitely over packed…it’s going to be too heavy.”

“I kept some room in mine in case this happened, no worries.” He gets the sleeping bag tied on correctly. “There we go.” He stands up and is suddenly only inches away from you.

“Let me give you the tour.” You step back. “It’s a two bedroom, I use the other one as an office. It’s way too much of a mess to show you but, that’s the living room.” You show him. “Got a half bath over there, and full bath down the hall, kitchen…and that’s my bedroom.”

“It’s really nice.” He walks around with his hands behind his back. “You’re really good at decorating. Are you sure you didn’t go to school for interior design?” He raises an eyebrow at you, making you giggle.

“No, but it’s certainly a hobby of mine. It relaxes me to look through magazines and go to stores to get ideas.”

“Your office at work has the perfect balance. Mine must look all over the place.”

“No! I love your office, it’s very inviting.”

“Thanks.” He looks you up and down. “Are these the, uh, pj’s you packed for camping? You may get cold.”

“I’m not an idiot, I packed sweats.”

“Oh…good.”

“What are the sleeping arrangements going to be like?”

“Well, I have two tents. One for the boys, and then I have this larger one I figured we could, um, share…if it’s not too buggy I may sleep outside. Would you feel comfortable being in the same tent?”

“Sure.” You shrug. “I was going to make some tea, would you like some, or do you need to get back to them?”

“They should be fine on their own for a bit longer, a cup of tea sounds great.”

You nod, and his eye grows when he notices a park on the back of one of your shoulders. It looked like a fading bite mark. He glares at you without you seeing. Who the fuck did that to you? He wonders. It should be him leaving marks on you.

“So, when you went to Boston, you really didn’t do much?” He asks as he sits down at your kitchen island.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly going to get into it in front of your son.” You chuckle and turn your electric kettle on. “I went out to an old bar I used to go to when I was living in the area, ran into an old friend.”

“And how was that?”

“Okay.” You shrug, and put two tea bags into a couple of mugs. You pour the water over them and put one in front of him.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So…you and this friend…” He just wanted to confirm if his suspicion was true. “Did anything happen?”

“Like what?” Harry rolls his eyes at you. “Oh! Harry…”

“Come on, you can tell me.” He was trying to pal around, he just needed to know the truth.

“He was an ex-boyfriend…and…yada yada yada.” You sip your tea. “I don’t know why I did it…guess I just wanted to feel close to someone, and it was easy with someone familiar.”

“Right, I get that.” It stung to hear. “Paige and I hooked up a few times after we ended it. Sometimes you just wanna be with someone who knows what you like without you having to say it.” He thought he’d sting you a bit too.

“Mhm.” You didn’t want to think about Paige getting to fuck Harry. Perhaps if you had been drunk you would have asked him what he liked.

“Well, I should probably get going. Early day tomorrow and all, thanks for the tea.”

He grabs your pack and you walk him to the door.

“I’ll be at your place for seven. See you in the morning.”

“See you in the morning.”

//

You drive to Harry’s house in the morning, and the kids burst outside with a little too much energy for you so early. Harry says hello to you, and you notice he’s not wearing his glasses, something he rarely did.

“Morning.” He mumbles.

“Morning.” You open the passenger car door and get in. The boys climb in the backseat.

“Alright.” Harry turns to look at them. “I had to listen to you two hyenas all night. I’d like a nice, quiet ride to the trail head, got it?”

“Yes.” They both say at the same time.

You smile at Harry and he winks at you as he pulls out of the driveway. It’s about a forty-five minute long ride to the trail head. Harry parks and gets everything out of the car. The boys walk a few paces ahead of you and Harry like you expected them to.

“So, they kept you up?”

“You have no idea. I must have told them three times to knock it off.” He groans. “Little…twats.” He says under his breath and you can’t help but laugh.

“I heard that!” Andy says without looking.

“Good, you were supposed to!”

“Are you his father or his brother?” You tease.

“He’s just trying to act cool in front of his friend.” Harry nods toward Brandon. “Which I get, but I can’t let him get away with too much.”

“So, how come people tend to do this overnight?”

“Well, it’s about five miles up, and that’ll take the majority of the day. It’s not really safe to hike at night, so we set up camp, have dinner, hang out, and then once the sun goes down we’ll set up a campfire and stuff like that.”

“I’m excited to see the sun rise.”

“Yeah, that’s the best part. I taught Andy about sun salutations so we’ll be doing that too.”

“And you’ll teach me too, right?”

“Of course, you can follow right along.”

You smile at each other and keep walking. You all take your time, enjoying the scenery around you. An hour or so in you all stop to take water and snack breaks. The boys go off to have a wee, and then you keep going.

“So, you said there’s no shower at these bathrooms, right?”

“No, there’s not. But you can use the sink, and they do have men’s and women’s separate restrooms, so you’ll have some privacy.”

“Okay, great. I just didn’t want to feel gross when we go to sleep.” Harry nods at you. “It’s such a beautiful day. I’m really glad I’m here with you.” You clear your throat. “With all of you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

At one point you needed to stop to pee. Harry got the boys to not giggle and tease you, somehow, as you took a few moments to get yourself situated. You were about midway, and Harry knew the part of the trail where you could see out just a little bit. It was nice and flat, and the perfect spot for lunch. They were light lunches, veggies, nuts, and more water. Harry explained it wouldn’t be good to fill up too much because it would make going up a mountain that much more difficult.

“When will you two know what class you’re in next year? Sixth grade, that’s pretty wild.” You say to Brandon and Andy.

“Next year they’re putting us on teams. You either still have two teachers or four.” Andy explains. “We wanna be on the four team.”

“Why’s that?” You ask.

“Because then you’re not stuck in the same two classrooms all day.” Brandon says. “It’ll make the day go by faster.”

“That’s what a kid on the basketball team told us, anyways.” Andy shrugs. “We heard the four team has nicer teachers too.”

“I just hope they don’t put one of us on the four team and the other on the two team, that would be the worst.” Brandon says.

“Is it by last name or anything?” Harry asks.

“We have no idea, when we asked our fifth grade teachers they didn’t really say there was much reason behind who gets what.” Andy says. “I’ll worry about it in August.”

“Yeah, I don’t even want to think about school right now.” Brandon says.

“Y/N, do you still do work over the summer like Dad does?” Andy asks.

“Yes, I’m still technically in school. So I do research like Dad, but mine is so I can become a doctor like him, he just does it to keep his name out there.” She nudges him playfully.

“Oi, my work is more than just for vanity, thank you very much.”

“I don’t know Dad, I think Y/N has a point. I’ve seen you do your research.” Andy grins.

“Oh, this I’d love to hear.”

“Dad watches really sad romance movies, cries, and then pauses the movie to take notes about how he’s feeling.”

“I do that to compare to the books that the films are based off of, and I see how I felt while reading the book versus watching the movie. I also make notes about the cinematography and mise en scene, because music-“

“Mr. Styles, you lost me at the cinnamon tography…” Brandon says and everyone laughs.

After lunch you get going again. You’re amazed that the boys don’t need a lot of breaks and don’t seem tired. They get excited when they see certain critters or flowers. As you get closer to the top, you notice it getting a little steeper. Harry had the biggest pack on, and you were fucking floored that he wasn’t huffing and puffing his way up. He was sweating for sure, but he was in no way struggling. Impressive, to say the least.

“Dad! I recognize this part, we’re almost there!” Andy exclaims.

“Yeah! Shouldn’t be long now!” He calls ahead. “How are your feet doing?” He asks you.

“Not too bad, I’m glad I changed my socks when we took our last break. I’m sure I’ll feel it tomorrow.”

“After we get to the top and everything we’ll make sure to stretch. Your legs will tighten up too much if we don’t.”

“Makes sense. Has Brandon gone hiking with you before?”

“Oh, sure, tons of times. Never overnight, though, so this will be nice for them.”

A few more paces, and a few sharp turns, and you’ve made it to the summit.

“Holy shit.” You say to yourself. Mountains and greenery as far as your eyes could see. No lake this time, but you didn’t care.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Harry says to you.

“It’s…incredible.” You were still in shock.

“Congrats, it’s your first 4,000 footer.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and gives it a squeeze before getting his pack off. You all get your packs off.

Dozens of pictures are taken. You take some of the boys with Harry, and Andy uses your phone to take one of you and Harry, and he even wants one of just you and him, it was sweet.

“So…where’s the campsite?”

“Oh, just down that way a bit. Figured we could hang out here while we stretch and stuff. Just chill and take it all in before we go to set up the tents.”

You all sit on the ground and stretch your legs. It felt good to just take some time to breathe slowly and let your legs relax. You all walk to where the campsite is and claim your territory.

“So over there are the bathrooms, and then that hut over there actually has a snack bar in it and a few forest rangers.”

“That’s so cool! Do you need help with the tents?”

“Have you ever set one up before?”

“Never.”

“Then you can watch. It’ll be easier if Andy and I just do it.”

You nod and take a step back with Brandon as Andy and Harry work to get the two tents situated. Andy and Brandon get their sleeping bags set up the way they like inside their tent and then they head off towards the bathroom.

“Alright.” You say after tossing some of your things inside yours and Harry’s tent. “I’m gonna go change.”

“Okay, I’m gonna get the firewood together. Gotta get cooking soon.”

“What are we having?”

“Regular hot dogs for the boys, vegan ones for us, that work?”

“You had a cooler in there?”

“And a cast iron pan. Ain’t my first rodeo, darling.” He says cheekily, but you blush anyways from him calling you darling. He had never called you that before.

You grab the things you need for the bathroom, and you’ve never been so thankful to see a clean, working toilet in your life. There were some other people around setting up their own campsites as well, it wasn’t just your group. You use a washcloth to freshen up and then put on some new leggings and a long sleeve shirt. You take your hair out of its hat and put some dry shampoo in before putting it all up in a messy bun. You sigh happily now that you feel a little cleaner.

The boys, and Harry, had changed into some comfier clothes as well. You notice that Harry is wearing his glasses once again. They were all sitting on different blankets around the fire Harry had just gotten started.

“How many would you like?” He asks you as he takes out the different types of hotdogs.

“Two would be great, thank you.” You say, sitting down near Andy.

“I also have some other veggies, I cut up some bell peppers.” Harry takes the baggy out of the cooler. “I figured beans wouldn’t be such a great idea.”

“Dad, can I have two hotdogs?”

“Same here.” Brandon chimes in.

“Of course, boys.”

Harry makes up the vegan hotdogs first, and then makes the boys. They all munch on the veggies and other snacks that Harry packed. He even made sure to bring Oreo’s, Andy’s favorite. Once the sun sets, and everyone bundles up a bit more, Harry breaks out the items to make s’mores.

“Brandon, do you think your dad will coach basketball again in the winter?” Harry asks him.

“Yeah, he said he should have the time. I like him better as a coach than the guy I had a couple of years ago that’s for sure.”

“I like the way your dad coaches, he’s not mean.” Andy says. “I had one guy one year that just yelled and drilled the whole time, it wasn’t any fun.”

“You’re just kids, why would anyone yell at you?” You ask, biting into your own s’more.

“Some of these people are just looking for excuse to be aggressive.” Harry sighs. “This was a much better year all around for everyone I’d say.”

A light hearted ghost story or two is told before the boys both call it a night, their long night before finally catching up with them. Harry makes sure all their trash is thrown away and secure, and he reminds them of the buddy system for if they need to wee in the middle of the night. He also gives them a flashlight so they’ll be able to see everything.

“I think they had the right idea.” You yawn after coming back again from the bathroom. “I’m pooped.”

“Same here. Go get settled, I’m gonna put the fire out.”

You nod and go into the larger tent Harry set up for the two of you. You roll out your sleeping bag, and use one of your spare sweatshirts as a pillow. You get settled in and sigh. It was sort of nice to be unplugged, away from screens and research. Harry eventually crawls in, and gets settled into his own sleeping bag. He sets a dim lantern on his side so he could read a bit.

“What are you reading?”

“The screenplay that was adapted to make The Notebook…” He mumbles.

“You’re working?”

“Sort of…I usually bring books like these camping. They’re easier to read.”

“Should I be offended that you were about ready to read instead of staying up to chat?” You smirk.

Harry’s eyes grow slightly. You wanted to have pillow talk before bed? Is that it?

“Um…well…I just figured you were tired, and I usually read to fall asleep-“

“Harry, relax, I was just teasing. You can read if you want.” You smile at him and turn over, nestling into your sleeping bag. “Night.” You say, looking over your shoulder at him quickly.

“Night.”

Part of you wanted to whine or complain that your makeshift pillow wasn’t comfortable so he’d offer to let you lay on his chest. Maybe he’d caress you and even read to you for a bit. Maybe you would have done that if his son wasn’t in the tent right next to you.

Harry couldn’t concentrate on his book. His eyes kept glancing over to your curled up body. You looked so soft and peaceful, and he just wanted to wrap his arms around you. He wanted to keep you safe and warm all night. And because Harry usually sleeps holding onto a pillow of some kind, he felt a little fucked. He sighs and turns the lantern off. He lays on his back for a while until his eyes eventually flutter closed. You both were exhausted from the hike.

//

You wake up feeling warm and cozy. You weren’t sure why you had woken up. It’s not like the sun was shining yet, the whole point was to get up and watch the sun rise. No, you woke up from feeling small puffs of air by your ear and a strong hold around your stomach. Harry must have rolled over in his sleep and started cuddling with you. You almost wish you were in a shared sleeping bag so you could get even cozier. It would be like one giant sleeping bag burrito. You feel his arm pull you closer into him, and his breathing changes.

You shift and turn on your back so you can look up at him, and he keeps his arm around your waist. You gaze at each other, and he moves his hand up to smooth some hair away from your face before letting it caress your cheek. You both look like you’re about to say something when-

“Dad, come on! The sun’s gonna be up soon!”

Andy startles Harry so badly, it’s like he wakes up all over again, like he didn’t realize what he was doing with you. He nearly jumps away from you and sits up.

“Okay, one second! Go get washed up.” He sighs, and then looks at you. “I-“

“Let’s get to it before they find a way to get in here and drag us out.”

“Yeah.”

Harry unzips the tent and you both use the bathroom before heading out with the boys to the summit again.

“Alright everyone.” Harry says, and he starts doing some simple yoga moves. The boys follow and so do you.

It was amazing to actually do sun salutations as the sun came up. After sitting and looking out a while longer you all head back to the campsite breakfast. You drink water instead of coffee in fear of really needing to use the bathroom later. You each have a granola bar, and then start to clean up the tents. You get changed in your attire for the day, as done everyone else, and you all start working your way down the mountain.

“What did you think of the sunrise, boys?” You ask.

“It was so cool! I can’t wait to show my parents the pictures I took.” Brandon says.

“Must be nice to have a phone that actually takes decent pictures.”

“I took plenty of pictures on mine, Andy.” Harry says. “You got two more years, I think you can wait.” He chuckles as Andy looks back to give him a pouty face.

“How’d you sleep, Y/N?” Brandon asks.

“Oh! Um…” You and Harry look at each other briefly and then blush. “Pretty good, slept the whole night through, I think. How about you two.”

“My mom gave me some melatonin, so I slept good.” Brandon shrugs.

“And I’m used to camping, so I was fine.” Andy says.

“Good, that’s really good.” You say and clear your throat.

You both knew you’d have to have a conversation about the way you woke up, but now obviously wasn’t going to be the time. Finally, after hours, you make it all the way back to the trailhead, and get everything into Harry’s car. It was an incredible couple of days, but you couldn’t wait to get home to take a proper shower. Hell, you may even take a bath just to relax your sore muscles. Harry drops Brandon off, and Andy helps him with his things. They hug goodbye; it’s awfully sweet.

“Dad, can I shower first? I feel gross…”

“Sure, just don’t take too long.”

“Okay! Thanks again for coming Y/N.”

“Thank you again for inviting me.” You smile as you all get out of Harry’s car. He waits for Andy to go inside before speaking up.

“I’m sorry about this morning, I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable…when I sleep I usually have a pillow or something and-“

“I wasn’t uncomfortable.” You say as you grab your things out of his trunk and put them into your own. “In fact, I can’t remember the last time I felt so comfortable.” You look at him and close your trunk.

“Oh.” His eyebrows raise and his cheeks grow slightly red. “Um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I have him for the rest of this week until I send him off with Paige for July, so I wanna spend as much time with him as I can, but-“

“Call me when you’re free. I don’t mind waiting.”

Harry was chilled to his bones from your words. He watched you get into your car and drive off before going into his house. You said what you said because you had a feeling Harry had been waiting for you to get your act together a bit. You’ve known him for almost a year, and he’s been a great friend, but there’s something that’s been brewing between the two of you. Probably since the day you met.

//

“Is that everything?” Paige chuckles as Andy brings another bag into her house.

“I wanted to make sure I had options.” He grunts as he gets inside.

“He’s just like you, I swear.” She shakes her head at Harry.

“As if we needed more proof that he’s mine.”

“So…I heard the camping trip went well, what’s next for you and Y/N?”

“Not sure, I’m gonna give her a ring the second I’m on the road.”

“Did anything happen between you two in that tent?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“No.” He mumbles and kicks some dirt at his feet. “Not much I could do with two eleven-year-olds right next door.”

“Harry.” She laughs.

“We woke up…very close together, that was about it. Bottom line is we need to talk, and now I’ll have the time to do so.”

“You know you’re going to need to fill Andy in on everything when you have your chats on the phone.”

“Please, it’ll be the first thing he asks me instead of how are you…”

“Okay, that’s everything.” Andy says. “Love you.” He hugs Harry and Harry sighs as he wraps his arms around him.

“Love you too, call if you need anything, and be good, promise?”

“Promise.”

Harry waves as he gets into his car, and he calls you right away just like he said he would. The phone goes straight to voicemail, which makes him feel like he got kicked in the gut, especially because it rang twice first. Suddenly, a couple of texts come up on his screen.

You: hey!

You: sorry, I’m at the library getting some work done. I’ll call you later

Harry sighs, but he completely understands. Not too long ago it was him using every free moment he had to get his doctoral research done. He had his own work he should be doing, so he goes home and gets settled up in his office.

He was getting some incredible work done on his latest manuscript, the journal that publishes his works will definitely be pleased. He blinks and sees it’s already 8PM, and you never called, or texted. He hoped you were alright. He stands up and stretches, and decides to grab a quick shower. The house was quiet without Andy, and he didn’t like it. He flops down onto the couch in just a pair of boxers and turns the TV on. A ring on the doorbell startles him, and he gets up right away. He peers through the window to see you, holding a box of pizza and a bottle of wine. He cracks the door open so you could only see his face.

“Hey! Sorry for just dropping by. I got really busy earlier, and I thought this would be better than calling. Hungry?” You smile brightly at him.

“Yeah, that sounds great. I was actually feeling pretty-“

“Um, Har…”

He had opened the door more just out of instinct, revealing his mostly naked body.

“Shit, let me, uh, come in, I’ll go throw something on.” You giggle as he basically scurries to his bedroom to change. He comes back out in a t-shirt and joggers. “Thanks for bringing all this.”

“I planned to come by earlier, I know you dropped Andy off today…how are you doing?”

“I’m okay…work distracted me, but it’s hitting me now. It’s really quiet without him already…I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” You pop the box of pizza open. “Wanna get this bottle open?”

“Yeah.”

He grabs his wine opener, two glasses, and two plates. He gets the bottle open while you set the pizza out. He pours you both a glass and you sit down at the table.

“So, you got a lot done today?” He asks you.

“You have no idea! I was on fire.” Harry laughs at that.

He listens to you talk about what you got done. He couldn’t help but watch every movement your lips made, and how your eyes got brighter and brighter at how excited you were.

“Sorry, I’m going on and on about my thing, what did you get done today?” You say, sipping your wine.

“Worked on my manuscript for the journal.” He shrugs. “Nothing special.”

“Oh, don’t say that, you do incredible work. I love reading your articles. I actually think I used to read your work when I was still in grad school.” You start blushing. “It’s sort of cool knowing the person you’ve been able to learn so much from.”

“Just sort of cool, huh?” He scoffs playfully and you nudge him. “Wanna move outside, I put up a screen around the perimeter for bugs, or are you still hungry?”

“No, I’ve had plenty, but I’ll be bringing this bottle with us.” You grab the wine and you both head outside. “When did you even have time to do this?”

“Andy helped me. It wasn’t too difficult.”

You imagine Harry doing handy work, and it makes every part of your body flutter.

“I wish I had outdoor space like this, it’s my one complaint of my apartment, no balcony or anything.”

“Yeah, we didn’t like it much either, we didn’t stay there long.”

“We?”

“It’s where Paige and I lived when we first came here. I got my master’s from the university first, then my doctorate. Her grandparents lived in that big house, so they helped babysit Andy a lot.”

“Oh.” You didn’t have any problems with Paige, but she didn’t love being reminded that they were once together and in love.

“Were you sore after the hike or anything?” Quick to change the subject, maybe he felt the same way.

“Um, only for a day or so. I didn’t stretch as much as I should have when I got home. Thought the bath I took would have been good enough.”

“Would you ever do it again?”

“I would! I had more fun than I thought…but I’ll only go to the mountains that have working bathrooms.”

“Deal.” He smiles and takes a sip of his wine. “Maybe we could do something like that later this month.”

“With or without Andy?” You raise a playful eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind an adults only trip.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.” He finishes off his glass and pours another. “Refill?”

“Please.” You hold your glass out for him and he pours some more. You take a sip and lick your lips. “And why exactly would you like it to be adults only?”

“Perhaps…I wouldn’t have minded not being interrupted that morning.”

“Andy really startled you, huh?”

“I almost forgot he was there…” He plucks at his bottom lip. “It was…an interesting how we woke up.”

“Very interesting.” You sip your drink. “I was sort of…hoping you were going to cuddle me or something.”

“You were?!” His eyes widen.

“Yeah, it was sort of cold, even in sweats and a sleeping bag. I felt so cozy when I woke up.”

“You didn’t even flinch when you looked up at me…”

“Why would I have?”

“I don’t know…sort of weird to wake up in a friend’s arms, isn’t it?”

“Not so weird when that friend is you.” You look at him. “You back peddled when you tried to explain why. It’s okay if you wanted to hold onto me.”

“I literally sleep with a body pillow, you can check my room.” He defends. “I’ve always been like that.” He mumbles.

“So it wasn’t about me?”

“No…I…I wanted to cuddle you.” He wanted to do more, but again…his son was there.

“Well…I’m glad you did. It’s nice being the little spoon once in a while, and your cologne always smells so good, no complaints here.”

“You…you like my cologne?”

“Love it, actually.” You finish off your glass and you grab the bottle to pour just a little more in. “It’s nice when the person you have to see every day at work smells good.”

“Let’s see….” He holds his hand up to count on his fingers. “You like my work, you’re happy I cuddled you, and you enjoy my cologne.” He looks at you. “What should I be thinking of all this?”

“I…” You swirl your drink around. “Do you remember when I had that really awkward dream about you a while back?”

“Yes.”

“That was a complete accident, a freaky thing that happened that I didn’t want to have happen.”

“Is this one of those compliment sandwiches?”

“No, I’m…please…” You look at him. “The last time I went to Boston, as you know, I hooked up with someone.”

“Yeah.” He rolls his eyes.

“But…I was having trouble getting there…and…well…” You look away from him. “You popped in and I was happy about it. I…thought of you…and…”

“And were you able to get there, Y/N?”

“Yes.” You say just above a whisper. “I wanted it to be you.”

“I thought you didn’t want to date colleagues?”

“I don’t, but…” You look at him again. “I think I like you too much to care about that anymore.”

“God, I…” He gets up and kneels in front of you, taking one of your hands. “I like you so much, you have no idea.”

“Well, I have a small idea…woke up with you pressed against me.” You smirk.

“No way you felt anything between two sleeping bags and all the layers of clothes.”

“Little bit.”

“Christ.” He groans.

“Again, not complaining, it’s flattering, actually.”

“So when you let that guy leave that mark on the back of your shoulder, were you hoping it was me who did that too?” He stands up now.

“You saw that?” You gasp as you look up at him.

“I did…when you were running around your place getting everything together.” He pulls you to stand up, and he tucks some of your hair behind your ear. “You were wearing a pretty flimsy tank top.”

“I don’t exactly get dolled up when I’m home all day working.”

“I guess we have that in common.” He pushes his glasses to the top of his head, and cups your jaw with one hand, and hooks his other arm around your waist to pull you closer.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

Your eyes flutter closed as he leans in, and you tug at his shirt as his lips meet yours. It’s soft at first, he’s just getting a feel for you, and then it turns needy. His hand slides to the back of your head, tugging softly at your hair to crane your head up more. You gasp at this, and he takes the openness as an invitation to nip at your bottom lip. You moan softly, and your tongue peeks out to meet his. They mold together like they were supposed to all along. Suddenly, he takes a step back.

“Wh…what’s wrong?” You wipe the small trail of spit from your mouth that he left behind.

“Nothing, I just…I told myself I wouldn’t do this while we were drinking. There have been a lot of times I’ve wanted to kiss you, but I haven’t because we were drunk or something.”

“I’m not drunk, are you?”

“I’m a little tipsy, yeah.”

“I, okay, yeah, so am I.” You chuckle

“So, I think we should stop for now. I wanna do this right. I wanna take you on a proper date.”

“I’d like that.” You smile, and then chew on your bottom lip. “It’s the right thing to do anyways, we shouldn’t jump into this too quickly. I have some different trips planned this summer, and I’m going to be busy working on things, getting my classes together…not exactly a whirlwind summer romance we’re looking at.”

“I have a conference in New York later this summer, so I’ll be busy as well getting my lecture ready.”

“Wait…I have a conference to go to in New York later this month too!”

“Really? Is it the CMT?”

“Yeah! I went last summer too and had such a good time. I had no idea you were giving a lecture, the itinerary doesn’t come out until next week.”

“I’m presenting some research about my wellness course…I’ve been collecting some data over the last three years I’ve been teaching it.”

“Ah, so you’re not going to be discussing the complexities of Pride and Prejudice?” You smirk at him.

“Nope, saving that for a rainy day.” He smirks back.

“Wow, well…that’s sort of exciting…we’ll be going to the same place for a few days.”

“We could, um, drive together if you wanted.”

“I was just going to take the bus…”

“I get free parking at the hotel since I’m part of the conference.”

“It’s a four hour drive…that’s a long time for you to be stuck with me.”

“Was stuck with you overnight not too long ago, and I didn’t mind it one bit.” He puts his hand on your shoulders. “Are you staying at the hotel where the conference will be?”

“Yes.”

“Great.” He smiles. “It’s, um, it’s a date then.”

“Yeah.” You smile at him. “Although…might be nice to go out before then…make sure we still like each other, and all that.” You joke.

“Yeah, I could easily not be into you in just a couple of weeks.” He jokes back and you can’t help but laugh.

“Let’s go inside, I need some water before I go home.”

“Good idea.”

He leads you in, and after a two glasses of water, and giving you a mock-sobriety test, he lets go. Well, not before giving you another steamy kiss by your car after you promised to text him when you got home. It was just as needy as the first kiss. He didn’t press his body up against yours, but from the way he was sucking on your bottom lip, you could tell he wanted you desperately. But like the responsible adults you were, you ended it there, and called it a night. A very good night.

[petri808]

A Bond Built Through Adversity

For @itafushiweek bonus day

Bang Bang Bang “WAKE UP!!” Gojo cackled in the dorm’s hallway. Bang Bang Bang “RISE AND SHINE!!”

Slowly, but surely two grumpy faces shambled out from their rooms, each using the doors threshold to hold themselves upright. The sun had barely cracked the horizon, and neither were thrilled by the early morning wakeup call!

“What the fuck do you want?” Megumi spat out as he rubbed his eyes. “It better be good!”

But Itadori…

“Oi!” Gojo clapped his hands loudly in front of the man. “Wake up!”

… Itadori was sleeping where he stood. “Huh?” One eye cracked open. “Ye-yeah I’m up. What’s up?”

“Today we’re going on a special field trip to the mountains!” Gojo clasped his hands in front of himself with a mischievous grin. “You’re growing too soft, so a lo—ng hike is just what you need.”

“Are you crazy!” Megumi snapped to attention.

“Of course, I am,” Gojo’s smile never faltered. “Isn’t that obvious by now?”

Megumi crossed his arms in a huff. “Well, I’m not moving until you give me a damn good reason.”

“Megu—” Gojo reached out with a whiny voice, and pulled his hand lose, throwing on his saddest, please, for me smile. “Be a good boy for me, Megu…”

Yuuji quickly straightened up stiff as a board in annoyance and smacked Gojo’s hand away from Megumi. “Stop it with that cutesy stuff, just answer the question.”

“My, my, Yuuji, such a morning grump,” Gojo teased knowingly. “Fine. It’s a bonding exercise, so dress for a hike, pack a backpack with water, a towel, and be out front in 20 minutes.” But still when nobody moved. “Chop, chop!” He clapped his hands condescendingly. “It’s best to get an early start before the sun is high.”

Through the muttered swears and slams of dresser drawers, the students gathered the things their teacher had told them to pack. Megumi was the closest to a morning person of the pair and even he was fuming over being awoken at such an early hour. If it were for a mission, fine, but not some stupid hike into the mountains! They each had their reasons for being annoyed with the whole situation, but for Yuuji it was different. Frankly, he didn’t care about going on a hike, or a bonding exercise. The moment Gojo grabbed Megumi’s hand it woke him up and not in a happy way.

“Oh, hell no!” Megumi snapped as his eyes trailed up the steep, long, narrow stone steps leading through and disappearing into the thicket of pine trees. “You’ve got to be kidding us!”

“There’s a prize at the end,” Gojo wrapped an arm around Megumi’s shoulders, taking his time to lean in and whisper close to the man’s ear. “I promise you’ll like it.”

Seeing his friend’s fist ball up, Yuuji pulled Gojo off Megumi. “Come on, come on, let’s get this shit over with.”

Yuuji did his best to stay between Gojo and Megumi as they walked up the stairs, but it wasn’t easy. The incline was quite steep, following the side of a mountain, with dense brush along the edges. It was certainly a very old, worn trail and one not used very often in modern times. Could anyone be blamed for not using it? First off, it was in the Hakone national park, half a kilometer off a hidden trail, and up a ridge. Park rangers probably didn’t know it existed, so how Gojo knew of the place Yuuji had no idea. He assumed this would lead to some ancient and abandoned mountain shrine once used by jujutsu sorcerers. Maybe Sukuna would know of its existence?

‘I don’t, so don’t ask,’ the voice in his head answered the question. ‘I’m old, but I don’t know everything.’

‘Surprising,’ Yuuji growled back at Sukuna for eavesdropping on his thoughts.

‘Oi, pay attention,’ the voice growled back.

‘To what?’

‘Your boy.’

‘My—’ Yuuji cut off his response when he saw what was happening ahead of him. He’d been so focused on the natural surroundings, he forgot about the unnatural one taking place. ‘That damn, irritating!’ Yuuji walked faster to catch up with Gojo and Megumi, cutting in between and forcing Gojo to step backwards. “Less talking, more walking.”

“But Yuuji,” Gojo wrapped his arm around the man and forced him to line up with him. “How are we supposed to…” he leaned in with a grin, “bond without talking to each other.”

Ugh! Gojo’s voice was so irritating when he whined and acted childish. “You can talk,” Yuuji shoved the man off. “But talk doesn’t involve hanging all over us.”

Gasp! Gojo feigned surprise. “Yuuji are you jealous of me touching Megumi?”

“WHA— what?!” Yuuji caught himself quickly before Megumi would hear him. “I am not!” He spat back through gritted teeth. He crossed his arms. “I’m still annoyed you dragged us out here so early.”

“Oh…” Gojo chuckled. “Mmhmm, I guess that would account for your behavior today.”

For two hours the back and forth continued. Yuuji watched with a locked jaw in frustration when every chance Gojo had he took to touch Megumi. Playing with the man’s hair, hanging on his shoulder, talking so closely as if the man was deaf and it was necessary. And each time, Yuuji would cut between them. Oh, Megumi fought back too, snapping at Gojo, and pushing him away, but the man never took the hint. What was up with their teacher today! This was not the norm for Gojo. He never showed so much interest in either of the students before! So, why now? Why bring them here? ‘And what was with the obsession with Megumi!’ Yuuji snapped in his head.

It took almost three hours, but the trio finally reached the top of the stairs and breached the tree line. Okay, Yuuji had to admit the view was quite spectacular from this vantage point. On one side Mt. Fuji rose like a Goliath ready to smite any who dared to disturb it. On the other side, they could see the expansive blues of the Pacific Ocean stretching out to the horizon. And lastly, a handful of steaming hot ponds in various sizes. A couple of them were small, enough for maybe two people to be comfortable in, and one was large, almost the size of a residential swimming pool.

“Surprise!” Gojo’s arms raised above his head as he cheered. “A secret onsen! Isn’t it cool! Geto and I found it years ago by accident while tracking a curse.” He pulled the two students close, one under each arm. “It’s perfect for a little bonding time.”

Megumi shoved Gojo away. “I can’t believe you dragged us up a mountain ridge just for this.”

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Gojo flung himself onto the man in a tight hug from the back. “I wanted to share something special with you,” his voice whined.

“That it is!” Megumi completely snapped. He wiggled out of Gojo’s hold and swings a fist at the man. It misses, but that didn’t stop him from continuing his tirade. “You damn perverted teacher! Go flirt with someone who wants your attention, cause I don’t!” Without waiting for a response, Megumi grabbed his back and stomped away to one of the smaller hot ponds further away with Gojo only standing there watching him leave, with a big grin in his face.

That’s when Yuuji, who’d had enough as well, followed the energy left in Megumi’s wake to confront their teacher. He whipped Gojo around, grabbing the front of his shirt with his hand raised to strike. “Talk! What’s your deal? Why are you acting like this?!”

Gojo shrugged, his trademark cool grin never leaving his expression. “Someone had to push you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Yuuji screamed.

Gojo simply flicked the hand of Yuuji’s holding onto his shirt causing the man to let go and wince in pain. His simple strikes were always so much harder than they looked. He then smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt left by Yuuji. “Two weeks ago, do you remember the day you were supposed to be mopping the dojo?”

“Yeah.”

“Mopping the dojo,” Gojo reiterated, “as in cleaning and not dancing…”

“Yea— oh… maybe…”

“It was adorable, really, and that dip— I was impressed that you knew how to dance like that Yuuji. Your partner was a lucky… mop,” he snickered.

“Ha, ha, funny,” Yuuji pretended not to care. “So, what if I was dancing with a mop? As if I don’t do weird things sometimes.”

“Oh, that’s certainly true,” Gojo chuckled again, “but I heard you thanking your partner…” He wrapped his arms around his body in a reenactment, adding exaggerated kissing sounds for effect. “Thank you for a lovely dance, Megumi. smooch, smooch, smoo—”

Yuuji slammed a hand over Gojo’s mouth to stop him. “Shhhh!! I get it! Okay, you caught me!” His ears burned and heat dusted his cheeks in embarrassment. “So, you were actually trying to make me jealous.”

“Yup! As if it was hard to do.” Gojo jabbed a finger in Yuuji’s chest. “Now, run along young one and go bondwith your love interest.”

“Ugh,” Yuuji groaned. Did Gojo have to be this transparent?! “You’re not cute.”

“Yes, I am.” Gojo turned away to leave. “Oh, and by the way, Nitta will pick you up at the bottom road at 6pm, so don’t be late. That gives you…” he checked his phone, “at least 4 hours of cuddling time.”

“Bastard!”

Gojo winked in a side-eye with a two-fingered wave. “See you back at campus!”

‘Wanna kill him?’ Sukuna laughed in Yuuji’s head. ‘Push him off the cliff?’

“No…” Yuuji sighed, and shoulders slumped.

‘You’re so not fun.’

“Hush!” Yuuji snapped at Sukuna. “Go back to sleep or something!”

‘Pfft, suit yourself loser!’

And just like that, Yuuji was alone again. Hopefully. After dealing with Gojo, the last thing he needed was an annoying Sukuna in his ear constantly teasing him too. He had a much bigger issue to deal with now. Megumi. What to do about Megumi?!

He followed the same trail around a sheer cliff face and found the man already submerged in a hot pond at its base. It was a cute little tucked away spot, and under other circumstances the perfect place to relax away from society. But not today, and for probably the first time in Yuuji’s life he was embarrassed to undress in front of another person. He’d never been the shy type about his body, at least when it came to other men, but this wasn’t just any man he was facing. Yuuji took a deep breath with an even longer exhale in preparation.

“Hey!” Yuuji waved as nonchalantly as he could under the weight of emotions circling his brain. “Mind if I join you?”

“I don’t care.” Megumi responded. He looked around. “But where’d Gojo go?”

“Oh, um… he left.”

Megumi sat up in the water. “Seriously?! He dragged us up here only to ditch us?!”

“Yeah…” Yuuji scratched his head nervously. “Said something about giving us time alone to bond. Nitta’s gonna pick us up at the bottom road at 6pm.”

Megumi groaned and slumped back into the water. “Guess, nothing else to do but forget about him then.” He closed his eyes and leaned back. “Actually, the peace and quiet is a good thing.”

Yuuji chuckled nervously. “Oh, yeah, that’s true.”

He removed his clothes and slipped into the water adjacent to Megumi. The water was the perfect temperature, not overly hot but bearable on this light snowy day. It was deep enough to where the water almost covered their shoulders too and wide enough with legs stretched out not to hit the other’s feet. Yuuji does his best to relax, closing his eyes and letting the steamy waters melt away the torment brewing in his heart. Gojo had put them in this situation for a reason. He knew the answer, but did Megumi suspect anything? Kami he hoped not! It was his fault for getting caught in the first place. Gojo wasn’t even supposed to be on campus that afternoon, off on a mission a few towns away outside of Tokyo. In fact, none of the other students had been on campus except him. So, he’d thought, why not have a little fun? ‘I got carried away,’ Yuuji groaned in his head.

Several minutes pass by in relative peace and quiet. The only sounds were of the water anytime one of them shifted, occasional birds risking the winter air, or just the natural sounds of the forest. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Their profession could be daunting at times and breaks like this one a luxury. Yuuji couldn’t remember the last time he’d been to an onsen. Was it before he’d even become a jujutsu sorcerer? But now that he thought about it, this spot was also romantic in its own way. The natural beauty bathed in the shadow of Mt. Fuji. The random, wispy little snowflakes that fell around them, to the instrumental music of the forest lulling them into a comfortable mood. Even the heat played its role, soothing their muscles and warming their bodies. A great way to hide the emotional heat stirred up on his skin for sure! If Yuuji stopped controlling his mind, his cheeks would certainly be marred by a cherry finish.

“By the way, thanks back there,” Megumi broke the silence. “You know, with Gojo.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. He was being overly annoying today.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand what his problem was. He’s usually not this bad.”

Yuuji chuckled nervously. “Yeah, that guy is something else.”

Catching the anxiety-laden tone in Yuuji’s voice. Megumi opened his eyes and stared at the man. “Do you know why he was acting like that?”

“What?! Me, ehrm, no!”

“Now I know you lying, cause you suck at it. Yuuji, why was Gojo being an idiot?”

“He, um… It’s because he, you know, notices things.”

“Uh-huh? Like what?”

“Things.”

“What things?!”

“You know, like about people. He’s perceptive.”

“While I don’t disagree, I’m sensing a specific thing is the reason. So just tell me what it is.”

“I told you. He said we needed to bond more.”

“Bond? As in what? We already work together just fine, what more bonding do we need to do?”

“Um… I don’t know… he’s got weird ideas sometimes; you know that Megumi.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, then fine.” Megumi closed his eyes again in a huff.

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Yuuji cringed all the way down until his nose barely treaded water. He could tell plain as day Megumi was irritated with him by the inflection of the man’s voice. This wasn’t good! Ugh! It was going so smoothly too! Tell him? Don’t tell him. Tell him? Don’t tell him… the choice flipped back and forth in Yuuji’s head.

‘For fucks sake just tell him you damn virgin!’

“Shut up!”

“What?!”

Oh, fuck! “N-not you!” Yuuji waved his hands to clear the air. “Sukuna. H-He won’t shut up in my head.” He watched Megumi’s eyebrow raise slightly before he closed his eyes again, seemingly satisfied by the answer. Yuuji breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Let me run my own life!’ He screamed at Sukuna.

‘Fine. Virgin boy, I’m just trying to help so you’d shut up about it.’

And again, silence once more in Yuuji’s mind. Oh, how he wished he could reach into his own head and strangle the cursed user! ‘I’m gonna enjoy killing you,’ Yuuji spat back a final retort.

But both Gojo and Sukuna were right. Yuuji had a choice to make. Tell Megumi how he felt or forever bury his peace and learn to live with the pining… which would include not getting jealous— ‘that’s not happening…’ Yuuji sighed internally. Lately it’s been getting harder and harder to curb those tendencies. With Gojo, well, it’s Gojo, so he’d reacted on instinct. But others, the public, victims, fellow students… Yuuji might develop TMJ if kept his jaw locked any more times just to stop from reacting. He didn’t want anyone too close, especially men. Things were getting out of hand. ‘This isn’t me! I’m the nice guy!’ And yet here he was acting like a fool.

“Yuuji, why do you look so tense now?”

Eek!! Yuuji sat up quickly. “No, why do you ask?”

Megumi narrowed his eyes. “Because you looked constipated. Talk.”

“I—” Yuuji started ready to make another excuse, but his mouth slammed shut when Megumi’s brow raised with his ‘no bullshit’ look. “Okay,” he sighed. “I’ll tell the truth.” Yuuji shrunk down as his voice lowered and eyes turned away. “I… like someone… like, a lot and well, you know how Gojo kept bugging you, he um, was actually trying to rile me up about the… person… but yeah, so that’s why I was acting weird.”

“I already know you like me idiot.”

“Wait! You do?!”

“You’re not hard to figure out. That’s why I never said anything when you kept running interference with Gojo.”

“I can’t believe you knew all this time… now I’m so lost.”

“Also not surprising, good thing I don’t mind.”

“Don’t mind?”

Megumi rolled his eyes. “Will you just ask me out and get it over with. I’m trying to relax.”

Yuuji moved over tentatively until he was sitting next to his friend. “Megumi, will you be my boyfriend?”

Megumi chuckled under his breath and simply closed the small gap between them, leaning his head against Yuuji’s shoulder with a contented sigh.

Oh, this was perfect! Yuuji sighed too and leaned his head against Megumi’s. His heart still raced, but for a new reason. It was an exciting rush to have his best friend at his side, in a new relationship built on trust and bonded by experiences. Yuuji felt invincible at that moment.

‘You’re still a virgin idiot.’ Sukuna laughed.

‘Tch. Not even you can ruin this for me,’ Yuuji spat back and closed his eyes with the biggest smile of his life.

[jaskierswolf]

I’ve got a prompt for you! 💜

Ok, I have no idea why I got this idea just now but it opposed into my head and you’re my fave for Modern AUs so I’m passing it onto you! So like modern college au ski trip where Jaskier twists his ankle on the slopes and has to stay behind while everyone else does a moonlight hike or something. Geralt also stays behind and we get some fireside cuddling. Maybe Lam, Eskel, Aiden, and Coen are there to tease or ship it or something when everyone gets back ☺️ Unsure if it’s happening in a cabin or hotel/resort lobby. But yeah. I’m placing it at your feet, do with it what you will 🤗

(geraskier-trashh)

I’m sorry this took so long!! But here you go my darling!!

Ships: Geraskier and Lambden. Also on AO3

Warnings: Minor injury, and sexual references. _______

Geralt was pacing in the lobby of their hotel. It was nearly half past five and Jaskier should have been back by now. They were in different groups for their ski lessons, Geralt being a more advanced skier than his friend. All the other ski school groups has returned over an hour ago. Only Aiden and Jaskier remained uncounted for. The sun had crept behind the snowy peaks of the surrounding mountains. The ski lift had stopped working and yet there was still no sign of Jaskier and Aiden.

Lambert was lounged out on one of the sofas by the bar, tossing a stress ball into the air and catching it again in a never-ending rhythm. “Relax.” Lambert sighed. “They’ll be fine. They probably just decided to après-ski”

Geralt growled at his brother. “No, not tonight. Jask knows that we’re night skiing tonight. He hasn’t shut up about it all week. He’s been looking forward to skiing to together for a change.”

Lambert snorted. “Don’t know why you’re letting him. He’ll slow you down.”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “And you’re willingly skiing with a snowboarder.”

Aiden was learning to ski in Jaskier’s intermediate group after lunch but Lambert’s boyfriend’s real skill lay with the snowboard. He tore up the slope when he was on his board and spent most of morning in the snow parks doing tricks and flips off the jumps and rails that could be found there.

Lambert grinned dopily. “The things we do for love, white wolf.”

“How come you aren’t more worried? Your boyfriend is missing too.”

Lambert shrugged and ran a hand through the thick red curls on his head. “Ski school said all the groups were back. You know what Aiden and Jaskier are like when they’re together. I’m surprised they’ve not been arrested yet. Our boyfriends are terrible for each other.”

“Not my boyfriend.” Geralt sighed. No matter how many times Geralt said it, Lambert still insisted on calling Jaskier his boyfriend.

“Their phones probably died.” Lambert suggested, completely ignoring Geralt’s protest.

Geralt shook his head. “Jaskier would never let that happen, besides he has a portable charger.”

Lambert rolled his eyes. “They’ll be fine, Geralt.”

Geralt continued his pacing in the lobby and Lambert restarted his game of catch. The thud of the ball landing in his hand was driving Geralt mad. Every catch was a second passed that Jaskier hadn’t returned. He was having visions of the pair of them being lost off the side of the mountain. The idiots had probably decided to take the lift back up without their instructor and gotten injured as a result. Not even the picturesque hotel could calm his nerves. It was warm and bathed in a soft yellow glow. There were paintings of the ski resort hung on the walls. Some of the paintings showed the resort as Geralt knew it, but there were several of the mountains with luscious green grass. Edelweiss flowers were often found engraved into the wooden frames. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself, the warm scent of hot spiced wine filled his nose but it wasn’t enough. He needed the startling blue of Jaskier’s eyes and his gentle chamomile perfume.

The hotel was gorgeous and it was expensive, too expensive but Jaskier’s parents had insisted that Jaskier and his friends had needed a break. The trip had been paid for in full before any of them could protest the cost. The gang insisted on paying for their own drinks though. They refused to let Jaskier’s parents, no matter how rich they were, foot the bill on that one. The hotel overlooked the main slope, a blue run that ran all the way into the village, ending by the bubble lift and a collection of ski rental shops and bars. The best bar for après-ski though was half way up the mountain. Everyone knew that. From their hotel they could often see the drunk skiers and boarders trying to make their way down the hill, at least they could when they weren’t amongst them. Geralt always tried to remain alert enough that he could help Jaskier down. His friend always seemed to forget the steep hill that lay between them and their beds. If it was too bad they would take the snowmobile shuttle back down but Jaskier called him a party pooper when they tried.

From their hotel they could ski in and out of the boot room. It was a luxury Geralt had never known in all his years. He was used to trekking through the snowy villages with his skis on his back, and Jaskier’s too in recent years. The brunet would always whine and pout until Geralt helped to carry his skis. He didn’t mind, not really.

The doors opened letting in an icy breeze. Geralt’s eyes snapped up and the noise of Lambert’s stress ball stopped, bouncing across the tiled floor. Geralt heard the shuffle of fabric but he didn’t look round. Aiden was half carrying a limping Jaskier through the door. Jaskier’s arm was around Aiden’s neck and he had his ski poles in his other hand as a support. Geralt rushed over to help.

“Jaskier!” He growled. “What the fuck happened?”

“We went shopping after skiing. I thought I would be able to buy that painting of the horses you like… as a gift.” Jaskier whined. “But I slipped on some bloody ice. I sprained my ankle. It fucking hurts.”

“Nothing’s broken.” Aiden noted, his soft french accent coming through more strongly like it always did when he got emotional. “We’ve just got back from the hospital.”

Geralt was furious. They’d been all the way to the fucking hospital and no one had said a bloody word.

“Now before you say anything, wolf.” Aiden said sharply. “He landed on his phone and it broke.”

“And yours?” Geralt asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lambert snorted. “As if he charged it last night. He’s a fucking nightmare.” Lambert patted Geralt on the shoulder and then wrapped his arms around Aiden’s waist, burying his face into the snowboarder’s neck. “Hey kitten.”

Geralt hummed and he scooped Jaskier up into his arms. His ankle was clearly hurting him and it would help to take the pressure off of it. Geralt watched his brother for a few seconds, noting the way he melted into Aiden’s embrace, and felt bad. Lambert had been worried…. very worried. He’d just hidden that from Geralt because Geralt had been a fucking mess.

And Jaskier was only his friend.

Friend.

The word felt bitter on his tongue.

How long had it been since he’d thought of Jaskier as a friend? He’d been completely gone on the man for at least a few years now. It had been a completely daft revelation. Jaskier hadn’t been doing anything special or even particularly charming at the time. He’d been asleep on Geralt’s bed after Geralt had gotten back from a pub night with his brothers. The brunet had been drooling all over Geralt’s pillows and wearing one of his shirts as he sprawled like a starfish over the bed, and he’d been snoring.

Geralt had watched his friend sleep for a few minutes before he’d realised the snoring wasn’t even irritating, hell he even found it… cute?

And with that the epiphany had hit him like a truck. He was in love with his best friend.

He’d grabbed a spare pair of boxers from his drawers and gone to sleep in Jaskier’s room. It had taken all his self control not to slid into the single bed next to Jaskier.

He’d been in love with him ever since and stoically ignoring it the best he could. Jaskier was very open in his feelings. If he loved Geralt then Geralt would know. His friend wasn’t exactly subtle.

“Are you alright?” He murmured as he carried Jaskier over to the sofas by the large open fireplace in the lounge area.

Jaskier’s arms were wrapped around his neck and Jaskier snuggled up against his chest. It hurt in some ways. It could be so easily interpreted as something more than it was. Geralt wouldn’t change it for the world. As much as he wished for more, he lived for the calm moments of intimacy that fell between them.

“Yeah.” Jaskier mumbled, his face red from the cold. “It’s sore but I’ll live.”

“You won’t be able to ski tonight.”

Jaskier pouted and groaned. “Geralt! We never get to ski together.”

Geralt chuckled and dumped Jaskier onto the sofa before sliding down next to him. Jaskier shrugged out of his bulky teal ski coat and pulled his snood over his head. His hair messed up completely but Geralt thought it looked endearing. Jaskier dropped the layers on the floor before curling up against Geralt’s chest.

“If it’s alright by the morning then we’ll skip ski school.” He suggested.

“Hmmph.”

“That’s a whole day together.” Geralt draped his arm around Jaskier and pulled him closer.

“It’s more romantic at night.” Jaskier sighed.

Geralt’s heart stammered in his chest and he felt the heat rising in his cheeks. “Romantic?”

“I meant… fuck.” Jaskier tried to shuffle away but Geralt grabbed his arm and then brought his hand up to Jaskier’s cheek.

“Romantic?” He asked again, his voice low and unsure in his words.

“Ah well. Freudian slip.” Jaskier bit his lip and his soft blue eyes were looking everywhere except at Geralt.

“Jaskier.”

“Yes, darling?”

“Did. Did you want it to be…”

“Yes.” Jaskier answered too quickly. “Of course I do. The whole world knows that, Geralt.” He covered Geralt’s hand with his own and his cheek pressed into Geralt’s palm. “But I know you don’t and that’s alright, dear friend.”

“I don’t?” Geralt asked with a smirk.

Jaskier frowned. “You don’t… Do you?”

Geralt tilted his head and brushed his thumb along Jaskier’s cheek. “I. I do yeah.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened. His face flushed even darker than before. Geralt usually would have said the soft glow of the fire was to blame but he was starting to wonder.

“This could. Well, I mean.” Jaskier gestured to the fireplace. “This could also be… romantic?”

Geralt let out a shaky breath and rested his forehead against Jaskier’s, his eyes shutting on their own accord. “Yeah?”

“Hmm.” Jaskier agreed and Geralt could feel his warm breath against his skin.

“Careful. “ He murmured. “You’re starting to sound like me.”

“God forbid.” Jaskier laughed and captured Geralt’s lips in a kiss.

Geralt hummed against Jaskier’s lips, still cold from the icy weather outside. Jaskier’s hands slid into Geralt’s hair and Geralt couldn’t resist pushing Jaskier down onto the sofa so his back hit the soft cushions. His lips brushed from Jaskier’s lips along his jaw and he nipped at the soft skin of his swanlike neck.

“Geralt…” Jaskier gasped quietly and a hand squeezed his arse.

Geralt gave a low growled before sucking hard at the pale skin under his lips, biting gently until a dark bruise began to form. Once he was satisfied by the mark he kissed the tender skin before pressing their lips together once more. Jaskier moaned into the kiss and one of his legs wrapped around Geralt’s arse.

“Oi!”

They broke apart, panting and red faced. Jaskier groaned and buried his face against Geralt’s shoulder. “Fuck.” He muttered.

Geralt smirked at Lambert, not caring that they’d been caught. He was too happy to care. “Brother.”

“You have a room.” Lambert snapped. “Use it.”

“Darling, it’s young love. Be nice.” Aiden purred and pressed a kiss to Lambert’s cheek. “We were going to see if you were still coming out skiing tonight but I see you’ve finally got your head out of your arse instead. Have fun boys, be safe. Don’t do anything I would do.”

Geralt laughed. “Isn’t that supposed to be don’t do what you wouldn’t do?”

Aiden winked. “There isn’t much I wouldn’t do, white wolf.”

Jaskier finally emerged from Geralt’s shoulder and held his hand out. Aiden high-fived it with a smirk before Lambert dragged his boyfriend away towards the stairs. “We need to get ready kitten.”

“But darling.” Aiden said loudly, making sure everyone in the lobby could hear. “I’ve been waiting all day to get you out of those clothes.”

“Fuck.” Lambert cursed. “Little shit, upstairs.”

“You love me!”

“Fuck knows why. Come on.” Lambert gave him a shove up the stairs.

“Stop acting like you’re the one in charge, wolf.” Aiden sang sweetly. “Everyone knows how much you like to beg for—”

Aiden’s words were cut off by Lambert’s hand over his mouth.

Geralt grinned before turning back to Jaskier. He gently brushed Jaskier’s hair out of his eyes and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “You wanna take this upstairs?” He asked gently.

To his surprise Jaskier shook his head. “Not yet.”

Geralt raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t get me wrong, I am very interested in continuing this upstairs.” Jaskier gently thrust his hips up to make his point. Geralt groaned softly as he felt Jaskier’s erection rub against his. “But I’d like to enjoy the fire a little longer first. It really is rather romantic. A warm fireplace in an alpine hotel with snowy mountains outside.”

“Romantic bastard.” Geralt laughed and bumped their noses together gently.

“Yes, but I am your romantic bastard.” Jaskier paused and licked his lips. “If you’ll have me.”

Geralt sat up, his legs straddling Jaskier’s waist. He rested his hands on Jaskier’s chest. “Mine.” He said softly. “And I’m yours, if you’ll have me?”

Jaskier laughed, his blues eyes crinkling in the corners and Geralt’s heart felt warmer at the sound his melodic laugh. “Of course I’ll have you, you daft idiot.”

Geralt grinned and leant back down to rest his head on Jaskier’s chest. “Hmm.” He replied, hoping Jaskier would understand his words. If anyone could translate then it would be Jaskier, but he was suddenly feeling almost overwhelmed by the emotions in his chest, the happiness. Words just didn’t seem like enough.

Jaskier’s fingers gently combed through his hair and he let his eyes close as he focused on the steady flutter of Jaskier’s heartbeat. “I love you too.” Jaskier murmured. Geralt smiled against Jaskier’s chest. Jaskier heartbeat raced a little faster.

“Mine.” Geralt repeated in a whisper.

“Yours.” Jaskier agreed. __________

Tag list: @alwenarin @slythnerd @davidtennan-t @flippinfricks @awitchersbard  @innocentcinnamonpun @marvagon @elliestormfound @geraskier-trashh @panerato @moonysourenza @artistsfuneral @victorieschild @hailhailsatan @wherethewordsare @havenoffandoms @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @electricrituals @geralt-of-riviass @00qtee @kittynannygaming @stinastar @caspertheassholeghost @feraljaskier 

[quillsink]

thing is back in seventh grade i was an absolute madlad when it came to school. catch me at any time i’d be studying for one subject while in another class while doing homework for another one, i completed homework and projects the second they were given and studied for hours and made neat study guide and took neat notes in every fucking class like i got fantastic grades 

then my dad told me to stop and “just relax it’ll turn out fine” so i stopped doing it. everything. and i got shit grades on assignments and i didn’t understand anything in class so i pulled my shit together and somehow got all As (by somehow i mean multiple crying breakdowns)

and then i’ve been unable to study or do work ever since and everything has felt like hiking up a mountain and even the simplest thing made me cry and now?? it’s all gone??

like yesterday i think because of the terrible anxiety that i have like nine ten exams in the next few weeks, i just fucking SNAPPED and went super focus super energy mode and studied for two hours with no breaks? and now i’m completing all my assignments and homework on super speed and paying attention in class while also doing homework H O W

why is my brain either crying over everything or super human why 😭 

[wienerbarnes]

The Electrifying Mind Reader (1/2)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 3,186

Warnings: violence, capturing, angst👀, drugging, reader doesn't have fun in this one but i don't wanna spoil it yall know i always end w happiness so part 2 will fix things

A/N: hehehehe i had this idea but im still trying to see where it goes depending on how fatws ends, how the loki disney+ series goes, etc, etc, but ugh i never wanna stop writing these two so imma just make shit up forever also don't let the warnings scare you lol yall know im soft on the inside

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

The mission was rough, to say the least.

Another HYDRA base found in Eastern Europe. One you’d worked for for a few years. Making you have both a personal connection to the mission, and be the only person on the team who knew this base intimately. This specific location arose after Bucky’s time, but during the prime of yours. So, you, Bucky, and Sam took it upon yourselves to go out and investigate while Sharon helped from the tower.

Until it was occupied with more HYDRA soldiers than any of you could’ve imagined.

580 soldiers. 580 Nazi’s all in one building. You wanted to blow it to shreds as soon as you landed there, but Sam went against that idea; there was too big a possibility that there were innocent people in there, either those brainwashed or those being held hostage. Neither you nor Bucky could argue with him there, the two of you fell under those categories yourselves.

We can take 'em, Sam said. With him in the sky and Bucky and I on the floor with the brawn and mind control powers, we can totally take ‘em.

What a fucking lie, that was.

The three of you got separated fast. And it didn’t take long after a few fights and punches that your coms broke and went offline. You think they would’ve made better com devices that were better adapted for this kind of stuff. They make arms and shields out of vibranium but not tiny coms to go in your ears?

Being separated from your teammates with no way of contacting them while still not being completely confident in your powers was not good for you, especially considering the history you have with this place. You want to hope that your handlers aren’t at this location anymore, but there’s really no way to know. The last thing you need is to run into one of them and for them to recognize what used to be their favorite play toy.

Except somehow, something worse happens.

A bomb goes off. Not necessarily blowing you to pieces, but with you being placed next to a window, being hurled a few stories into the snowy woods didn’t exactly put your body in good shape.

It takes about twenty minutes to orient yourself again. For your ears to stop ringing, for your body to stop shaking, for you to look around and have some kind of a feel for your surroundings. You don’t see the quinjet you arrived in anywhere, nor Sam and Bucky. But you know with the tracker sewn into your stealth suit, someone will find you eventually.

So, you start walking.

The shoes on your feet aren’t exactly made for the snow; you didn’t imagine you’d be hiking much on this mission. But the boots are thick enough to keep your toes from getting wet, which is good enough.

You stick close to the trunks as you walk on, planning to make a large circle around the perimeter and hoping to run into the quinjet, wherever it is. You hope they waited for you, at least.

Meanwhile, Bucky yells at Sam on the ramp to the quinjet, engine already purring as Sam is telling him to get on, that we’d come back for you with Sharon and better equipment to help them look.

“I’m not getting on the fucking plane, Sam!”

“It’s a jet, not a plane.”

“I’m not leaving my fucking girlfriend in the snowy woods alone outside of the Nazi base she used to be held at! Come back later, I’ll find her myself!” Bucky yells, vein popping out of his neck in anger.

If it was any other agent, he would’ve agreed. To go back to the tower, to get more equipment, to bring more people. But this isn’t any other agent; it’s you.

So, he starts walking.

He figures you’ll walk a few miles out, keeping your distance from the base in case anyone who survived that blast goes looking for any one else in the area. He begins heading west, planning to go a few miles straight and then start rounding the area, he can clear by nightfall, but hopefully he’ll find you before then.

Bucky doesn’t think to look for you in the treetops, though.

You hear a voice, and you panic. There’s nowhere to hide; only tall trees and mountains of snow around you, so the only way you think to go is up. You quickly hoist yourself up into the tree, balancing on a branch and hoping you’re covered enough by the snow covered branches.

It’s quiet again, and for a moment you think it was just the voices in your head; that there was nobody actually in the area. It’s hard to get a peek out with the blanket of snow clouding your vision in this tree, but you think you see a flash of metal. It could either be a gun or it could be Bucky’s arm. You cross your fingers and take your chances.

Wrapping your hands around the branch, you slowly bring your legs down to swing a bit before landing on the ground, prepared to greet your boyfriend and joke about engaging in monkey business.

Except it’s not Bucky.

A tall man, both arms made of metal, one with a shiny red star on the shoulder and the other with a skull and tentacles, turns to face you, drawing his gun and aiming it at your head.

“Oh, fuck.” Is the last thing you hear yourself say before a shot is heard and you see black.

Bucky hears a shot from the direction in which he was walking from. That could either be someone from HYDRA shooting at someone or you shooting at someone. He doesn’t like either option.

He breaks out into a sprint, gaining momentum and speed as he flies through the snow, charging back in the direction he came, hoping he can figure out where the shot came from in time. There was only one, so either it was a warning shot, or a lethal one.

When is Sam getting back? The longer he imagines your bleeding body on the white floor, the more he feels his anxiety spike and his heart race. You have your gun. Even if that shot was for you, you don’t go down without a fight. You’ve been training with your mind control with Wanda. You’re fine.

Surely, you’re fine.

The next time you wake up, it’s to a sharp slap across the cheek.

Your eyes open to see two men in front of you. You ignore the stinging in your face and the ache in your arm and glance between the two soldiers before you. You former handlers. Two of them at least.

“Sorry, boys,” You begin, glancing down at the bandage wrapped around your right bicep, where you assume a bullet was a while ago, “I’m unfortunately taken and only like it when my boyfriend slaps me around.”

You try to rub at your shoulder with your opposite hand, by there tied behind your back to the chair you’re sitting in. There’s also ties around your ankles and the fold of your knees.

You take a moment to stare at them to see if there’s a way to tap into their heads, get one to shoot the other, or untie you at least before they do that. But nothing. 

They both giggle. “Just as feisty as ever, aren’t you.”

“Yeah, yeah, listen, great catching up and all, but I actually have a doctor’s appointment I need to get to and I do need to get going -” Another smack, and then two hands vest the collar of your top.

“You’re not going anywhere! You left once, but now that I have you again, I’m not letting you leave my sight, my Mind Reader.” He tells you.

“...Can’t read minds. Can control them! But, can’t read them, sorry, no dice.” You correct, hiding behind your fear with a plethora of jokes and teases.

“We’ll see about that.” He looks deep in your eyes.

You smile drops and you look over your shoulder, realizing the room you’re in.

A large, black, metal chair sits above a few steps of concrete. Dark screens and bars surrounding it. There are open brackets for your arms and legs to be restrained, and the infamous headpiece that sends painful shocks to your brain. The man with two metal arms who shot you earlier stands beside it.

You remember the first time your powers manifested. Hours of drowning and waterboarding, followed by hovering candles and fires around your skin, poking and prodding you with needles to make something, anything happen. The goal was to send you into such an overdrive, overwhelming you to the point that your body to work with whatever poison they were putting in you.

“You wouldn’t,” You tell them, “You’re not stupid. You’re evil, but not stupid. You wouldn’t risk me in good ole’ Sparky.”

“Wouldn’t I?” The two men hoist you up and begin to drag you towards a heaping pile of metal. You try with all your energy to tap into their minds, tap into anyone’s mind, but to no avail.

This is it, you think. Who knows what will happen next, what you’ll remember. I hope Bucky doesn’t find me, I don't want him to see me like this. Two metal arms hold you down, one choking you hard and the other sitting heavily atop your injured shoulder while the machine powers up. The ties around your limbs are cut and the brackets automatically close, locking you in by your wrists, biceps, and ankles.

“See you on the other side.” He tells you maniacally, a syringe being pushed into your neck by the man with metal arms and the head piece coming down over your face before the worst pain you’ve ever felt courses through your body.

You scream.

Bucky has spent the last couple of hours running around this stupid forest with only failure to show for it. His last option is to go back to what’s left of the base. Sam’s about to land again, this time with Sharon and an extra agent or two.

He’s tossing the pieces of rubble around, looking for something, anything, to show him that you’re around here, that you’re alive.

Until he sees it. It almost perfectly looks like a metal rod sticking out of the ground. But it’s a handle. He pulls on it with all his strength until the lock and chain from the other side snaps, the door swinging open.

He climbs down the small ladder barely hanging against the wall before his feet thump on the ground again. He doesn’t like the nostalgia he feels slowly walking through the dark room, the distant groaning of a body, and smell of just pure evil.

He finally sees a slight glow coming from around the corner at the end of the hallway he’s ended up on, and he speeds up his pace, desperate to find someone, desperate to find you.

And he’s sorry he does. He’s sorry that he’s seen what he’s just seen. A door, on the opposite side of where he’s entered, left ajar and slightly swinging, signifying that someone’s just gone through it, and you, sitting slumped in that fucking chair, groaning and using what little strength you seem to have to weakly pull at the restraints around your wrists and ankles.

It’s his worst nightmare. You, stuck in that chair. He doesn’t waste a second running over to where you are, latching his hands on the headpiece that still sits on your face. He grabs a hold of the two pieces of metal and props a foot to the back of the chair, using all his might to snap it apart. He lets out a yell as he pries it off, bending the metal handle that connects to the main body of the machine.

He pants, reaching for the other restraints and prying those apart too, the sound of metal on metal making his ears hurt, there’s no way his metal arm isn’t wrecked after this.

He grabs a hold of your face to get a good look at you, to make sure you’re still alive. Your pupils almost completely cover the iris, the whites tinted pink. There’s also drool staining the corners of your lips and you're mumbling something to him that he can’t understand.

“Baby? Baby, I’m here, we’re leaving now, okay? I need you to stay awake for me while I get you to the jet, okay? Can you walk?” He coos and speaks to you softly and calmly, gently lugging your body into a standing position, but all you do is slump against his frame.

He can still hear the silent whirring of the machine, and from the subtle shakes in your body, he can guess the chair wasn’t used on you too long ago. He remembers having to be carried by two guards larger than him after a session in the chair, and he's about twice your size and strength, no matter your powers; he can’t imagine what your body’s feeling right now.

You whimper as he catches you, and he’s quick to slide an arm between your legs, the other grabbing a hold of your good arm and slinging you over his shoulders. The metal in his left arm is pinching into the skin of his shoulder, letting him know the plates are messed up from his pulling apart the machine.

Kinda went full Banner on the chair, didn’t I.

“Sam should be here, love, okay? So, just stay awake for me and you can rest on the plane. Huh?” He tells you, trying to engage and hoping you’re awake as he talks to you.

Another groan from you, which is good enough for him. He finally climbs back out of the basement and doesn’t see a jet in sight.

“God damn it, Sam,” He mumbles, and you whimper above him again, your breathing turning into panting and he senses your panic rising.

“Babe… Babe!” Bucky, sets you down gently, trying to capture your attention. A sharp call of your name forces you to look up at him.

You see three of him, and every color you see is much more vivid than you’ve ever seen before. You feel yourself shivering but also feel like you’re burning from the inside out. You know he’s talking to you, but you can’t focus on a single word he says because all you’re thinking about is how you don’t want to feel like this.

“Put me to sleep, knock me out, make me not feel this,” You interrupt him, but by the look of utter confusion in his face, you don’t think you’re speaking clear enough for him to understand you. Which only makes you panic more.

His eyes travel around your face and neck, observing the bruising on your forehead from where the headpiece of the chair rested and the finger-shaped marks on your neck. He also takes notice of the small hole on the side of your neck, about the size of a needle.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop it, to protect you, like I’m supposed to. But, I need you to be strong right now, I need you to suck it up until I can get you on that fucking jet and in a fucking hospital, okay? Please! Please, baby, just tough it out for a little while longer, can you do that?” He cradles your face and head with both of his hands.

Bucky’s on the brink of a panic attack himself. The only thing keeping him from breaking down is the fact that he’s the only one here to make sure you stay awake.

A distant purring of an engine is finally heard and his head darts up at the sky to see the quinjet come into view.

“Look, babe! See? Already here! Just the short trip to the tower, okay, love? You can’t die on me, please,” He trails off.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you try to bring yourself up into a kneeling position to stand up, and a cry escapes you as you feel an utter lack of control over your body. Your brain is trying to move your arms and legs but they feel so heavy that they just don’t move.

Suddenly, Bucky’s hoisting you up again, bridal style this time, and he’s running to the quinjet. You don’t even feel the pain in your shoulder and chest when your arm bounces around because you feel like your insides are melting.

Your brain and head haven’t stopped buzzing since sitting in that chair. You only remember flashes; flashes of black, flashes of the room, flashes of those bastards’ faces while they stare amusedly at you writhe in pain.

You don’t realize you’re on the jet until your body is laid on a cold table, the only table on the quinjet that’s attached to the wall. You look around to gauge your surroundings; you see a blonde head of hair and two other taller figures. Your hand twitches, wanting to reach out for Bucky, but he’s not looking at you. You whimper again, but it must not have been loud enough because he only continues to speak to the two other people, who you guess are Sam and another agent.

You straighten yourself on the table as your heart speeds up faster and faster. You brace yourself for a panic attack but it doesn’t come.

Nothing does.

Bucky tries to tell Sam everything as quickly as possible while the jet takes off. He can only imagine how hysterical he looks right now, and how much explaining he’ll have to do to the other agent on the jet with them; he’s pretty sure he might’ve slipped in calling you his girl by mistake once or twice.

He glances over his shoulder to check on you but does a quick double take. You’re not moving. Your eyes are open, but you’re not moving. Not shaking how your body was before from the electricity, not groaning or whimpering from whatever was wrong with you.

He remembers going on autopilot from there. He strains his ears and can’t hear the rapid beat of your heart, he doesn’t hear anything coming from you. His own heart feels like it stops when he climbs on top of you, straddling you, and leaning his head over your mouth to try and catch your breathing - which he doesn’t - and raising a hand to feel your heartbeat - which he also doesn’t feel.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” He starts CPR immediately, pumping his fists roughly against your chest, counting in his head among all the other chaos floating around in there.

“C’mon sweetheart. Wake up. Wake up, baby.” He continues.

“Bucky, you’re going to break her sternum!” Sharon tries to warn him.

He pauses only for a brief moment to turn his head towards her, “Sharon, shut up!” He snaps, this probably being the first time he’s ever screamed at Sharon. He turns his head towards Sam and Agent 36, “Sam get this fucking plane to the tower, now!”

“Please, please, please don’t do this to me. Not now. Not because of them.” He resumes the CPR while mumbling to himself, leaning down to breathe air into your mouth.

“Can’t lose you, can’t lose you.”

He can’t lose you.

[mothicalspoken]

TA DA!! remember that Drabble u asked for??? Cuz I do!! Here it is, like always, didn't edit :)

“Okay, hear me out—”

“Anne we have been callin—”

“The good news, no one died.”

“Anne, what the fuck does that mean?”

Anne cringed at her mom’s shouts, she was going to be in so much trouble.

The three had decided to go hiking together for the day. They had arrived in Sasha’s red jeep together, grabbing their waters and setting off on the trail. It was going well, all three laughing and teasing each other while music played from the blonde’s phone. Then, an hour into their hike, just as they reached the top, overlooking the entire range all around, a mountain lion jumped in front of them all.

As they were trying to take a photo, at the edge.

Anne had been the one to startle, heart leaping in her throat as she took an alarmed step back into the open air. The tiniest gasp escaped her. In the split moment Anne had noticed a lot of things, just how far the fall was, the lion growling, Sasha’s eyes watching it, and Marcy trying to grab her.

Both of Anne’s hands had shot forward, grabbing her friends, but instead of her being caught, everyone fell.

Anne screamed as the world spun, then her head collided with something and she blacked out.

When she woke up, Marcy and Sasha were above her. The blonde’s jacket was torn and she had scrapes all over her legs. The most pressing concern would probably be how she leaned on one leg more than the other. Marcy herself was covered in dirt, cuts littering her arms. She didn’t seem to have anything worse than some nasty colored bruises.

“Are you okay?”

Anne had nodded but the warm liquid travelling down the side of her head said otherwise. Both her friends frowned at it, “It’s fine,” Anne laughed it off, “I don’t even feel it.”

Somehow, neither looked convinced.

“You understand how that’s worse right?” Marcy mumbled as Anne tried to stand.

Her legs were a little wobbly, but it wasn’t that bad. If she could just stay on her fee— the world moved.

Sasha lunged forward and caught the Thai teen, wincing slightly. Anne just smiled, “Thanks.” The blonde glared at her, turning her attention to Marcy who was looking around. At three identical hills…

Shit.

“Any ideas?”

Anne watched as Marcy studied the pair, pursing her lips. “Who’s got service? We aren’t completely surrounded so we should theoretically be able to contact someone. I can’t tell where we are from down here and the sun will be setting soon.”

Anne turned to face the sky, the sun was lower than where they started.

“My phone’s broken.” Anne looked at Sasha, the phone was nearly split in two. Guess that took the brunt of some hit.

“Anne, call your parents. I can handle emergency services.” Marcy didn’t wait for a response as she walked a bit away.

“Chief Ranger Wu has made an appearance.” Sasha snickered. Slowly she leaned on her too, each supporting the other.

Anne grinned, “Leave her alone. She’s probably just a little worried. Now help me see if I can even call my parents.

“We kind of got lost hiking.”

Her parents went silent. Anne curled in a bit more on herself, this was easily worse than the shouting. She should say something to fill in the silence, “Marcy is calling emergency services. I was tasked with calling you guys, I think it’s cause you’re the only parents we figured would care.”

Sasha nodded her head. Marcy was looking around again.

“Are you three okay?”

Anne smiled. This was an easy question, “Yeah. We are mostly fine.”

“How is it with emergency services?”

Anne shrugged, only to realize her parents couldn’t see her as Sasha snorted.

“I’m not sure, let me check.” Anne covered the mic, hissing a quick shut the fuck up at Sasha, who only errupted in laughter, before shouting at Marcy, “ANY LUCK?”

Marcy looked like she needed about ten years of sleep in about the last five minutes, “THEY THINK IT’LL BE ABOUT AN HOUR!!” And just like that she turned her attention back to the phone.

Lovely.

Sasha sighed as she lowered herself and Anne to the ground. This will not be fun to explain.

"So," Anne began, already bracing herself for the shouting, "we might not be found for an hour."

The silence was defeaning.

"Mom?"

Anne spared a glance at Sasha, the blonde looked tense. Well, that didn't bode well. Marcy hung up and began walking over.

"Anne."

"Yes?"

"I'm talking to all three of you when you get back. Do not kill this phone until I am with you."

And just like that, the call was ended. Sasha hardly looked as if she was breathing, Marcy had plopped down, "I take it that went as well to be expected?"

Perhaps, they won’t go hiking for a while after this.

***

"Y'know this was more frightening over the phone." Anne said exasperated, a grin on her face. Her dad was currently giving the three girls a lecture on how to not fall off a cliff.

Her mom just kept hugging the trio, refusing to let go. Anne's mom glared softly, "Would you prefer we yell?"

"Nope!" Sasha cut in a little panicked, "This is better."

Anne just rolled her eyes before paying attention again. Her dad was going over what the edge looks like and how to stay away from it.

(Surprise, it involved not getting close.)

Only for Marcy to raise her hand, nearly causing everyone to roll their eyes. Her dad took in stride though, "Yes Marcy?"

"You do know we didn't mean to fall off a mountain on purpose right?"

£\|\£~?|!|€ THIS HELL YES

[seizethecarpe]

Know By Hart || Solo

Timing: Current Summary: No matter how practiced he was, Dave had never been good with grief. Triggers: Somehow… none. Contains grief.  Author note: Before you read this, I want us all to remember that I’m completely innocent please file your complaints to the local mime ungulate 

In 2004, José De Nueves had walked into Dave’s life. He’d had an easy smile and slightly glassy eyes. It had taken a rusalka, a Swedish fortune teller, and three drinks for José to hold up his hair and reveal in true depth the feathery scars that framed his face. He grinned with two teeth missing as he’d explained the tendril like creatures he’d hunted for one night. “Made me the perfect soldier,” He’d said with a laugh as he downed his whiskey glass. “I don’t give a fuck about anything.”

When Dave had followed his scent to a crypt a year later, he’d found a spawn chewing on José’s drained neck, a stark reminder of how the smallest mistakes could make even the routine hunt a death sentence. He’d wondered that night if José had even cared as they’d ripped his guts out in front of them, felt anything at all as they’d dragged it out of him until his intestines had torn all over the cemetery lawn. Or if he’d screamed and begged for his family anyway, right at the end, his soul returning to life only when it was too little, too late.

Unsure which fate was worse, Dave’d raised a glass in the man’s memory, and chose to forget. 

——- 

In ‘11, there had been Jasmine. Her honey warm skin highlighted the feathery scar that tucked under her jaw. Her bar, her spare room and her bed had all been Dave’s home for a little. But she’d always been clear that when push came to shove, he wasn’t her priority, he wasn’t human enough to risk her life for. All the same, they’d talked for hours under the thick cover of clouds as they waded up mountains to find the monstrous beast contaminating the local springs, they’d talked through her thick cigarette smoke, outside the fading wooden sign of her bar. They had talked more than Dave had spoken to anyone in years. She bared his soul, little by little, and in turn one day she told him about the nest nearby that she sent her friends too when they had lost one thing too many. Dave had listened intently, harder than he’d listened to anything, until the glass in his hand had shattered. 

Not too long, she’d warned. You could lose too much of yourself too fast, and end up more ghost than man. The next day Dave had hiked five miles, peering into the edge of a dried out lake, and saw the silvery creatures there, languidly floating through the air with a dozen tentacles. Dave thought of José, all light gone from behind his eyes, and Jasmine whose grief sometimes sounded wrong, like an untrained actor on the stage. Dave turned and left, hungry tendrils chasing after him fir half a mile.

Two years later, Jasmine had insisted she was retired at forty two, but there hadn’t been another slayer for a hundred miles, so she had come when he’d called anyway. Some cruel unnatural winds had extinguished their fires, and when the aipaloovik wrapped its arms around her and pulled her underwater, Dave made just one attempt to get her free before he told himself there was nothing he could do. 

The white polyps she’d told him about haunted his thoughts longer than she did. A quiet, gentle what if. 

——-

Last year, Dave had met a boy wearing a grin like armour and who considered his enhanced healing another weapon in his arsenal. Dave had saved him from drowning, the kid had saved his life with the penance for the murder of Winn Woods. And then the saving had happened again, over and over, until it became as routine as the wise cracks and eye rolls. 

He loved you. It rattled around in his head. When he’d seen the words on his phone in what had obviously been a final goodbye, Dave hadn’t let them ring any more true than the promise that they’d go fishing with beers. Now, the caster’s voice was stuck in his head, sneaking up on him when he was elbow deep in the bowels of his van’s engine, as he garroted a fish to eat in his human form, when he covered his body with slime to slide into his seal pelt. Sixty feet of ocean above him and he still wasn’t safe from Nell Vural’s voice. Thanks for that, Adam.

It was worst in the mundane moments, like folding laundry, because his mind churned while his hands were busy. See, Dave found it easiest to associate with hunters because he always knew they were destined to die. Everyone agreed there were things no one talked about because there was the deep undercurrent of knowing that Dave probably broke most of their codes, but as long as they didn’t know, it could go ignored. It was an emotional barrier that suited everyone just fine. Until now, apparently.

Dave smoothed his fingers over the edge of a shirt that had seen better days, folding it down as tight as he could before putting it away in a drawer that clipped into the wall of his van. His van was a mess, fishing gear scattered across the floor, seaweed drying on a bucket he hadn’t cleaned out, photos hanging skew on the wall. He wasn’t ever perfectly neat because how humans took care to keep their possessions perfectly in line was alien to him (the sea was never tidy), but he damn well knew he could do better than this. 

Humans considered it a sign of intimacy to show someone their living spaces. Dave couldn’t remember the last time he’d let anyone in here that he wasn’t giving a ride elsewhere. Adam hadn’t known him, not really. Hadn’t seen the emptiness in Dave’s heart, that the fire that kept him going ran on fumes. Who the hell was he to speak of love, when Dave hadn’t let him deeper than his second skin? That there was so little left in Dave worth loving. 

He looked down at the shirt he was folding, the collar pressed down skewed and the sides lined up at angles, and realised at some point he’d picked up the wonkyphoto from the wall, and the cracked, bloody compass Nell had given him that Dave had put on his bedside table and not looked at again. In the photo, three toothy sharp smiles were yellowed with age, teenage boys tussling in the sand. The photographer’s shadow stretched across the sand beside them, and even twenty five years later he could see the impatience behind the boys’ expressions at the doting woman behind the camera. The brass of the compass offered no such warmth, and filled the interior of the van with the scent of the last blood Adam had ever spilled. He flicked it open, and saw it pointing south west again. How could he forget, his home wasn’t a house but an underwater grave.

Fucking ironic, that each grief pointed so sharply to the other, blurring the lines of his most defining pain. Dave didn’t know how long he stared between one and the other before he returned to folding his shirts, and putting them away. He hung the photo back on the wall, and carefully put the compass away along with the rest of his fishing gear, tucked into fabric so that the scrapes it had taken in Adam’s final moments would be its last. When he was done with the laundry, Dave’s mind was set. 

His grief had always been a call to action.

--------

In the hours of hiking since Dave had set out, White Crest becoming a distant blip on the horizon, Dave hadn’t changed his mind. More doubts should have crept in, but they hadn’t once, his mind clear of thought and feeling already. Just one step past the other, past the purple heather fields and overflooded lily pad ponds, under canopies drooping with pine needles and summer chirping birds. 

White tiny flecks began floating past his face through the trees, which slowly grew as he walked deeper into the heather moors. White floating tendrils extended out, brushing against his clothes and hair. The deeper he walked into the cloud, the more the air felt like water, as if the trees had become kelp forests and he was swimming through clouds of chrinoids. The only thing that made the masses of them different than a mist was that Dave could not feel his way through it. They pulsed around him like Jellyfish, glowing under the setting sun.

In the densest part of the mist, he turned instead to an ethereal white creature at his side, as large as an old TV. Its mass of white tentacles fluttered against Dave’s skin curiously. Shame prickled in his veins, flinching away from those delicate touches. The sick, sinking feeling that this was wrong finally set in, worse than most vices that people leant on for their grief. If Adam could see him- but Adam couldn’t. He wasn’t a single damn person’s role model, and didn’t owe anyone his grief. Not even for a good man whose connection to him had been skin deep and yet reached him to his core. Dave swallowed, and turned back to the town for the first time since he’d made this choice, but all he saw was the clouds of white as he weighed the same thing as so many others had before him. 

Grief had always been a call to action. He stepped a little closer, and didn’t flinch as the tendrils brushed against the side of his face, then latched on.

The tendrils were as gentle as a kiss. He’d expected it to be like the time he’d gotten tangled up in an octopus, suckers bruising his skins for days, but if he hadn’t felt the white static encroaching on his mind, this wouldn’t have been unpleasant at all. Tendrils which hadn’t attached traced over the planes of his face, lulling his eyes closed. Peace spread from those pinpricks deeper into his mind, and he could see the appeal of staying here for eternity. Let them clear him out, until there was nothing left except his mission. 

Dave sighed quietly as he felt himself become lesser. He pulled away, and the tentacles let him, and Dave couldn’t even feel the absence of whatever they had taken. That was good, feeling the loss would have been too close to more grieving. The flickering tendrils of the hartvlinders trailed after him as he hurried away, through the clouds of gentle creatures until he burst out into the dying of the sunlight. 

Dave tested a memory like he might tongue at a broken tooth. Deep in a swamp with the rotting corpse of a giant fish clogging up his nose. Dave gave a countdown before lowering Adam into the cleanest water they could find, working quickly to wash off the last of the acid gunk. Adam had been weak kneed and badly burned after his adventure in the monster’s stomach, but he had shut his eyes dutifully and held his breath as Dave washed the worst of the acid out of his hair with exceeding care. As soon as he was out of the water, he’d cracked a joke filled with post hunt exuberance, one after the other while they waited for their stamina to return, until holding back his grin made his cheeks hurt. They hurt again now, hot tear tracks prickling his face. Dave sagged against a tree, and then down onto his knees. Something was gone, he was sure, but not this. The hartvlinder hadn’t been so goddamn kind as to take away his newest, sharpest grief. Or even what he’d really wanted gone: the regret of words left unsaid, the guilt of outliving another kid, the shame of envying a good man for a life where he’d completed his mission and saved everyone.  

Dave would have to learn to wear it until it became another ropey scar on his heart, another line on his death-weighted net. 

[charincharge]

Cruel Summer, Part 22

cruel summer masterlist

AN: Sorry this took forever. Life has been strange (as I’m sure you’re all well aware). I have so appreciated hearing from all of you, and I’m sorry for the torture I put you through. So, I won’t keep you any longer. Without further ado... Enjoy! 

Harsh daylight pierces through Rowan’s eyelids, and he groans and buries his nose into his pillow, feeling exhausted. He has barely slept a few hours, and already his body is waking him up, ruining the paltry amount of rest he was able to get. He’s surprised when his pillow sighs softly and twitches beneath his extended arm. Some time during his limited sleep, Rowan has returned to his default place; wrapped around Aelin. For a brief second, he forgets that anything is amiss as he breathes her in. But when she moves beneath him again, it all comes rushing back, and he feels like there’s an arrow piercing through his chest.

He stiffens and pulls his arm back slowly, not wanting to wake her. He holds his breath, hoping she remains asleep as he extracts himself from the bed. The starched sheets crinkle loudly under his movements, and he listens nervously for Aelin’s breath to change. He’s relieved when she stays unmoving, and he creeps into the bathroom to shower and change into his clothes, needing a few more minutes alone before being forced to deal with her pitying gaze again. He’s never felt so small or pathetic.

The shower does nothing to lift his mood – the soft trickle of water barely able to cover his body as he tries to wash Aelin’s soap from his skin. He knew he should have brought his own toiletries, but she insisted it was more practical to share. Now he’ll have to smell like her the whole fucking day on top of everything else. He scrubs his skin roughly, turning it red, trying to claw out of his own body. But it’s useless. He’s stuck there.

When he makes his way back out to the room, Aelin is awake, pulling her rumpled hair up into a messy bun. She turns when she hears him, and his entire body freezes upon locking eyes with her. She looks like she’s about to open her mouth, but Rowan isn’t ready to hear anything else she has to say right now. Unless it’s – I love you, too. And he has a feeling it’s not. He gives her a stiff nod, dismissing her, and averts his eyes, the crunch of the carpet deafening as he steps across.

She takes the hint and goes into the bathroom without instigating any conversation, and Rowan releases a shaky breath. At the sound of the shower turning on, he gathers his few things and clears out of the room.

The bus is already waiting in the driveway, though no one but the driver is on it yet. Rowan doesn’t care – he’s grateful for the silence. He takes the first seat and leans his head against the cool glass, letting his eyes close again.

He doesn’t open them again until the bus starts to fill up. The excited chatter from his coworkers drains him further, pushing him into an even worse mood. Their happiness has never made him feel more alone. He’d been looking forward to this weekend for so long, and now he’s thinking about the quickest way to make an escape. He wonders if he could fake an emergency sickness and get out of the day. But he knows he has to stick it out and be braver than that. If only he could erect walls fast enough, thick enough, to keep her warm gaze and soft laughter out of his head. He stares out the window, his head tilted away from the aisle, so as not to inadvertently make eye contact with someone he’d rather not. He exudes a – stay the fuck away from me – vibe, which he’s grateful everyone picks up on, and the seat next to him remains blissfully empty.

He focuses on his breath as Aelin and Elide pass him. He smells Aelin’s soap on her freshly showered skin, and it takes everything in him not to turn his head toward her. But he keeps his gaze firmly rooted out the window. He doesn’t need to see how beautiful she looks this morning, and he definitely doesn’t want to see her smiling with Elide, pretending like everything is fine. He’s not ready yet.

Lorcan gets everyone’s attention and explains the day to them. Rowan looks up at the man, catches one glimpse of his twinkling eyes and buoyant smile, and has to look away. It seems like he and Elide didn’t let their shoddy location ruin their plans. Lorcan’s happiness is blinding, and Rowan hates the way his stomach churns with jealousy.

“Rough night?” Lorcan says with a small chuckle as he takes the empty seat beside Rowan, and Rowan grunts his response. “Didn’t get much sleep?” Lorcan prods, and Rowan simply nods, not wanting his voice to break and give him away. Lorcan is too happy to notice, though. “Me neither,” he says with a wide smile, oblivious to Rowan’s despair. Lorcan slaps Rowan’s knee. “Don’t worry. We’ll get some coffee in you, and you’ll be good as new.”

Rowan forces a smile in return, wishing that were true. If only caffeine could fix a broken heart.

The drive to the lodge is far too short, and they get off and are greeted by their retreat leaders, Petrah and Imogen – an elderly lesbian hippie couple with long unruly hair and tie-dyed t-shirts and tevas. Petrah shows them to their breakfast spread, an incredible buffet that overlooks the shimmering lake. She encourages them to eat their fill because it’s going to be a long (but fun!) day.

Rowan wishes he were feeling better, because he would photograph the shit out of this place. The sun reflects off the smooth surface of the lake, glinting gold across the deep blue-green expanse. It reminds him of Aelin’s eyes. He sighs and grabs some scrambled eggs and half a bagel, avoiding the sugary pastries he know will make him feel ill if he tries to eat right now. As it is, he can barely shovel a few bites of eggs into his mouth before he starts feeling nauseous.

The cloying smell of icing and sugar hits his nose as someone takes a seat next to him. He doesn’t have to look to know who it is. Every time she’s around him, his skin starts to prickle and his heart starts to race. Rowan takes a long sip of his coffee and keeps his eyes trained on the scenery in front of him. He takes in the clear blue skies scattered with puffy white clouds, and the pine trees dotting the banks of the lake, looking like a Bob Ross painting – lush and happy. He manages to finish his entire bagel, somehow, despite the feeling of Aelin only a few inches away. He’s grateful for the silence, despite her proximity, because he’s not sure what he would say to her. Or what she would say to him. He needs more time to lick his wounds, preferably without her sticking her fingers into them, making him bleed out slowly. He’s about to stand and throw away his plate when she breaks the silence.

“Are you really just not going to talk to me anymore?” she whispers, her voice low, and Rowan finally looks over at her.

She looks just as tired as he feels, dark circles prominent beneath her eyes as she brings her mug of coffee to her lips. Her hair is down, still half-wet from her morning shower, and her tanned skin is on display in a white tank top and jean shorts. He watches her fingers grasp at the necklace hanging at her chest, needing something to fiddle with as she looks at him nervously. Her brows are furrowed, waiting for his reply, and he hates the way his heart thuds in his chest just from looking at her.

“I don’t know what there is to talk about,” he finally replies. He knows he should bite his tongue and leave it at that, but he can’t resist pushing, reminding her of why this is all happening. “You didn’t want to hear what I had to say.”

Aelin’s lips tug down as she swallows her coffee. She stares at the pastry on her plate, frowning.

“I thought…” she begins and sighs deeply, twisting her necklace around her fingers again. “I thought,” she repeats herself, a large crinkle forming in her forehead as she attempts to say something. “I thought we’d still be friends,” she finally says and looks over at him, her blue-gold eyes stormy with emotion, and it pains Rowan to see it. He hates that he has to be cruel to make her stay away, but he suddenly feels like he’ll suffocate if she keeps looking at him like that.

“You thought wrong,” Rowan snaps, just wanting her to leave him alone to his misery. He has no interest in being Aelin’s friend. He’s never been Aelin’s friends. They’ve fucked and fought, but they’ve never been friends. Not really. They really skipped over the friend part of friends with benefits. This is what he gets in return.

Aelin opens her mouth and closes it again. He watches as fury burns in her eyes, the cold blue melting into molten gold.

“I didn’t peg you for an asshole,” she says, and Rowan has to laugh at that. His laugh is loud and hearty, and it surprises Aelin, whose eyes widen.

“I’m not an asshole, Aelin,” Rowan laughs again. “I’m a sad sap, who got sucked into some pretty rich girl’s orbit and was told he wasn’t good enough to stay there.”

He stands, not wanting to watch the guilt flash across Aelin’s face. It doesn’t escape his notice that she doesn’t refute his statement, though. Not that she could. He walks away, and she doesn’t follow. She simply sits, staring out at the water, completely still. It gives Rowan a moment to breathe. But just barely. Because the day is starting, and he fears he won’t be able to escape her.

They split into smaller groups for their hike – randomly selected as they count off by six. Rowan is relieved when he somehow manages to avoid being in the same group as Aelin. He can’t be around her right now. He needs space to clear his head. And nothing clears his head as well as physical activity does.

The hike is less grueling than he wants it to be, but it’s a fairly steady incline for a solid two hours. So, Rowan pushes himself, staying with the group leader – a young woman named Rhiannon – maintaining their swift pace up the mountain. As he walks, Rowan tries his very hardest to silence the angry thoughts pushing at the sides of his consciousness, begging to be listened to, but it’s impossible. All he can hear is his own berating voice telling him how inadequate he is, how of course Aelin wouldn’t want to be with him. Why would she? He’s a loser. A nobody who’ll amount to nothing, despite his greatest wishes to do something with his life. His own father didn’t even love him enough to stick around, how could he have been stupid enough to think Aelin would feel something for him?

Rowan pushes his sweaty hair from his forehead and tries not to let that thought choke him. It’s the one that’s buried deepest inside him, under layers and layers of thick skin and avoidance, and the only way he can function is if it stays there.

His head pounds, so he takes a seat on a nearby rock while he waits for the rest of his group to catch up with him. He barely has a few minutes to collect himself before they’re walking across the mountain peak. Rhiannon explains the history of the mountain and its lore, but Rowan catches sight of Aelin ahead of him and stops listening.

It turns out he should have listened because it becomes clear that his group is combining with Aelin’s for the rest of the day. They’re going to complete a team building ropes course together. Of course. So much for avoidance.

Aelin’s group leader, a skinny, nerdy looking guy named Ravi, leads them to their first ropes activity – a tall pole they’ll have to climb up, and then cross an unsteady bridge, made of floating planks. Once they all cross that, they’ll have nine more “challenges,” he explains, until they reach the final one – a zip line, which will bring them down to the bottom of the mountain. He holds up a harnesses and explains how to put it on, using Rhiannon as his model, pulling each of the flaps tight.

“These harnesses are what’s going to keep you safe all day,” he holds it out for everyone to see, “So, after putting it on, grab a friend to test it and make sure it’s completely secure.” He tugs at the harness around Rhiannon’s waist, motioning everyone to follow.

Rowan grabs a harness and climbs into it, pulling the legs tight and then the waist. He knows he needs to find someone to test it, and his eyes inadvertently seek out Aelin’s. She’s just stepped into hers too. He briefly considers walking to her when he’s interrupted by a short blonde, who he’s sure he’s worked with at some point, but he struggles to remember her name.  

“Hey, Rowan,” she starts, her voice high, almost as if she’s purposefully talking like a small child. “Mind checking for me?”

She pulls her loose top up to reveal her pale skin, and bunches it in one hand. She looks up expectantly at Rowan with wide blue eyes, and Rowan has to bite his lip to stop from laughing at her overzealous blinking. He’s sure she’s trying to bat her eyelashes or something, but it really just looks like she’s gotten something in her eye.

He gives her harness a quick tug. It stays, and so he takes a large step back. But the girl doesn’t seem to get the hint.

“I can check yours, too,” she says, and without a second thought, shoves her hand under his harness, grazing Rowan’s crotch as she goes. She takes a step closer and places her other hand against Rowan’s stomach. He cringes away from her, trying to escape, but he finds himself trapped. “Why haven’t we hung out this summer?” she asks, and Rowan, as politely as he can manage, removes her hands from him and takes another step back. The girl pouts, clearly unhappy with Rowan’s reaction. But as his eyes lift, he can’t help but smile.

Completely unaware, over the girl’s shoulder, Aelin glares, her eyes practically lighting a trail of fire to where they stand.

“Remelle!” she calls out, far too loudly, given how close she’s standing. Remelle, right.

Remelle turns away from Rowan, annoyed, to see who’s calling her name, and frowns upon seeing Aelin approaching.

“Think you could check me?” Aelin asks, her eyes dancing dangerously as they flicker between Remelle and Rowan.

“We’re kind of actually in the middle of something—” Remelle replies, and Aelin’s eyes flash with fury again.

“Really?” Aelin asks, and Remelle makes the grave mistake of nodding. Aelin stops when she’s immediately in front of the girl and smirks. “Cause it kind of looked like you were making Rowan really uncomfortable with your unwanted advances.”

Remelle’s jaw drops, and Rowan has to bite back another laugh at Aelin’s sheer audacity. Remelle juts her chin out as she motions to Rowan.

“I think he can speak for himself. Can’t you, Rowan?” Her voice is cloyingly sweet, and Rowan struggles not to shudder. Instead, he rubs at his chin, grateful for Aelin’s intervention.

“No, she pretty much said it.”

Remelle huffs and walks off, swishing her hips from side to side exaggeratedly. Aelin and Rowan laugh simultaneously at the display, but when their eyes meet, Rowan’s smile falls again, remembering he’s supposed to be staying away from this girl who twists him into knots without a second thought.

Still, when she takes a step forward, he dutifully tugs at the harness around her waist. His knuckles brush against the soft skin of her stomach, which is exposed underneath the short hem of her tank top.

He stills when she places her hand atop his and gives him a sad look. “Rowan…”

The pain in her voice shakes him out of whatever trance she’s placed him under, and he removes his hand quickly. “You’re good,” he says roughly.

She clasps her hands in front of her waist and sighs softly. “Rowan, I’m—”

“Please don’t say you’re sorry,” he rushes out in a breath, and she nods tightly. “I need some space.” And he does. He can’t bear this closeness. It hurts way too much. He knows he’ll just keeping getting pulled in over and over, and he made a stand last night. He finally stood up for himself and his feelings, and he needs to keep that boundary secure. It’s the only way he’ll be able to live with himself. She nods again, but she can’t hold herself back from replying.

“I leave in a week,” she says softly. “How much space are you going to need?”

“I don’t know,” Rowan says. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Aelin nods, and Rowan is relieved when Ravi calls the first person to come forward and start the course, directing everyone’s attention to the tall beam.

Surprisingly, Rowan is able to concentrate on each ropes challenge, and is actually good at them. He crosses the unsteady bridge with ease, is used as the anchor for their giant ladder, hoists everyone up and over the cargo net, scoots up the fallen log beam, and glides across the single line bridge with ease. He impresses even himself, and by the end of the day his body is sore from effort and his skin is slick with sweat from exertion, but he feels better. The crisp mountain air feels cool against his skin as they make their way to the final platform.

Ravi clips his harness to the carabiner, and gives Rowan a large push. He zooms down the side of the mountain, the zip line giving him the best view of the giant peak and mountain in the distance. As Rowan speeds down, the air rushing across his face, he has a moment of clarity  -- that he’s going to be okay. He has to be. He’s survived much worse than a broken heart.

By the time he’s back on the bus, Rowan feels oddly lighter. He dozes most of the ride back to Terrasen, and he’s surprised when the bus pulls to a stop in the Playland parking lot.

It’s already dark as they pile out of the bus and make their way back to their cars. As Rowan reaches his truck, he hears Aelin’s voice calling out for him.

“Rowan, wait,” she pants.

Rowan turns and steps closer to her. He can see her throat bob as she swallows, readying herself to say something he’s sure is going to wound him to his core, so he stops her. Rowan needs to say something first.

“Chaol once told me that once you fall in love with Aelin Ashryver, you never stop.” He recalls the conversation with a wistful smile.

“He said that?” she says, and Rowan nods thoughtfully.

“I’m never going to stop loving you, Aelin,” he says, his voice tight with a sudden frog in his throat. “And I need time to deal with that.” Rowan breathes deeply. “So, unless you suddenly change your mind about me, I think we probably shouldn’t talk.”

Aelin’s breath stutters as she looks at him. “But I’ll see you at the park, right?”

“Yes,” Rowan nods slowly, and he’s shocked to see Aelin’s eyes fill with unshed tears.

“And I can say goodbye to you before I leave on Saturday?” she asks. As she blinks, waiting, a small tear escapes her eye, but she swipes it away before Rowan can question if it was even there at all.

“I don’t think so,” he says, and Aelin rubs at her eye again. Rowan’s chest aches. “Goodbye, Aelin,” he says.

He’s about to step away and into his truck when her arms latch around his neck and she flings her body at his. She presses her face against his chest, and he lets his lips skim across the top of her hair. Her hands clutch at his neckline, and he allows himself a tight squeeze around her waist as he inhales her floral scent one last time.

“Bye, Rowan,” she mumbles into his shirt. And before he can say anything else, she’s gone, disappearing into the dark.

When Rowan arrives home, Manon takes one look at his face and stands from the couch. “I’ll get the whiskey,” she says, and Rowan waves her off.

“I don’t need whiskey.” His voice finally cracks under the weight of the sadness he’s been pushing down for the last twenty-four hours, and his eyes fill with tears.

“Oh, Rowan.” Manon tuts with her tongue. “She’s an idiot.”

“No,” Rowan shakes his head. “I am.”

He collapses onto the couch and tilts his head back. He can feel his eyes burn with unshed tears. The couch sinks beneath Manon’s weight, and Rowan falls across her lap easily as she tugs his arm toward her.

“You can’t tell anyone that I cried,” Rowan stutters as the tears finally drip down his face and onto the thick fabric of Manon’s ripped jeans. She smooths his hair out of his face, running her long nails across his scalp, petting him gently. He releases the tears in droves, not stopping them from pouring from his eyes. He doesn’t bother swiping them away. He just lets himself feel. He’s so incredibly sad.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Manon whispers, stroking his hair calmly. They sit in silence for a few minutes, with Manon soothing him as he cries. The only sounds are Rowan’s sniffles, until Manon’s voice finally breaks in. “So, now would be a bad time to tell you that I’m moving in with Nimi, huh?”  

Rowan shoots up and looks at his roommate. She bites her lip, her eyes filled with guilt as she examines his splotchy, tear-stained face.

“Isn’t that kind of fast?” he asks, and Manon can’t help the small smile that tugs at her lips.

“I’m here to teach you your final lesson about lesbians,” she says with a small laugh. “You now get to witness U-hauling, up close and personal.”

“I’m happy for you,” he says and slinks down to rest his head on top of hers. Manon lets him. “Guess I’m moving home,” Rowan sighs and rubs at his cheeks.

“Your mom will be thrilled,” Manon chuckles, and Rowan groans. This was so not the plan he had in mind for this summer. But, life plans change, he guesses.

Manon pats her lap again, and Rowan doesn’t resist putting his head back down. Manon continues to run her nails across his scalp as she prattles on about the things they need to do before the end of the month. He sighs and nods in all the right places, but he can’t help as exhaustion overtakes him. He’ll think about everything else tomorrow.

~*~*~*~

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