#but honestly thats just a bigb thing

[little-flowers]

When the insomnia hits hard, my rambling hits harder.

Things that have happened to BigB or he has done on secret life that make me wondering what it up: a list

1. The red secret. Now for the people who have not watched BigBs videos his secret is red. Compared to all the rest that are white. And even beyond that the name of his secret book has red letters. Its definitely very intentional. Because theres no reason for it to be red. Scars hard one wasn’t red, only BigBs.

2. The lies. BigB has lied a fairly decent amount and not the ‘Im just protecting myself lies’, but lies about a lot if things. Its very evident in the first one, with the whole conversation with Grian. Especially since theres no reason he shouldve lied!! He turned in his task, he could’ve just said his task was to dig a hole, nobody would’ve been like ‘thats a weird task’ because its the first session. I mean even grian barely knows how the tasks work. He left it all up for everyone else to decide scars fate. Nobody would’ve batted an eye.

3. His tasks in general. Now while something as small as the task ‘dont say any mobs name for 30 minutes’ seems mundane and basic. The whole point of the series is to push everyone together, while at the same time keeping them all apart. Almost every single task involves to some degree interacting with other players. But both of BigBs were very solidarity, he didn’t need anyone else’s input in order to complete it. Theres maybe 2 tasks? (don’t quote that number) That aren’t BigBs that don’t require other players. And don’t get me started on the wording of the 3x3 hole one- its so long and complicated and so oddly specific. I could dedicate a whole point to that task alone. But back to the point, his tasks are just so out of character if you compare them to everyone else’s.

BigBs character i feel is gonna be so crucial to the future of secret life. I’m excited for future sessions, and so so curious to figure out how BigB ties into everything. I have my own ideas (hes gonna go a bit crazy/manic when red) but thats for another day. So many characters are so so interesting and im just really excited.

[mumbeau]

I think the thing about sub one club that makes their dynamic so. *that* is that for once mumbo isn't being judged. Like, ok this is NOT dissing grian or calling him abusive or toxic I wanna clarify this right now, but ALSO. He's a bit of a judgmental person.

He's uptight, he wants things to go a certain way, he's meticulous and precise and has a lot going on in the way he thinks about himself and other people. A lot of the time it almost seems like he thinks of the others as characters with roles to play? Which is supported by three things:

1. He doesn't really let people change in his mind. We see this in his reasoning for teaming with bigB behind scars back, and generally his reactions *to* scar. Once he gets an idea of someone in his mind, that's it forever.

2. A lot of his actions are more... ah. Poetic? I feel? Than they are while actually taking people in to account. It feels like more often than not he does what's best for whatever the narrative in his mind is, and not so much the people around him (because in his mind they'll be fine right? Depending on what headcanon, they'll either be just like new next session, or they'll forget)

And

3. He gets shocked VERY easily tbh! He gets very very shocked at others actions when they're something that goes against their "character archetype"! We see this a lot in the way he treats scar once again, but also in how he treats some of the others.

NOW. The reason I feel this contrasts so heavily with Skizzle is that skizz is grians polar opposite. He's up beat, he's all for people growing and changing, he loves to help people but would rather them come to him, he's completely content to stay in his own lane! He's confident in who he is, and he's always happy to bring a fella up, but hes also underestimated. He's VERY smart, and he's very observant, and he will stand up for himself and others when he feels it necessary. Which I think is so jarring for mumbo, going from being around grian so often (who's such a little control freak) to being completely and entirely alone with skizz for an extended period of time (who isn't actively chastising him who honestly thinks his ideas are good and encourages him!)

AND. THATS NOT EVEN BRINGING IN THE FACT THAT SKIZZ ISNT NEARLY AS MUCH OF A BUILDER AS GRIAN OR MUMBO! He's a very very casual player, which makes mumbo actually feel like he's good at something because of both the attitude and the difference in level of skill. Idk I think about them all a lot and could go on for hours but I don't want to clog your ask box. Anyway hope you enjoy my take! -🌼

OHHHHH this definitely plays such a part in what makes them interesting i definitely do enjoy your take ive had similar thoughts running through my head :D.. mumbo and skizz' dynamic is so Different from mumbo and grian's while also having that air of familiarity and lightheartedness about it and i think that plays a lot into why at least in ep 1 so far mumbo has been so paranoid about grian cheating on them (in addition to everything else. hes just a very paranoid guy of course)... skizz is so different from grian in the ways you mentioned and being with skizz from minute one mightve set this high standard in mumbos head too, even if he doesnt really realize it, that skizz' super upfront sweetness and friendliness is The Norm. mumbo is SO obsessed with having a tight knit group and grian going out on a whim goes so against the security he needs and that skizz has been providing and its already lead to this rift forming between them. this is all over the place and theres a ton of nuance to this i cant get to form in coherent sentences but i like them. sorry i strayed from your ask a little bit i dont know how to talk like a normal person. basically cheating drama on day one is awesome and i hope they get better and i hope they get worse it feels like watching a car crash in real time

[nameification]

okay so in response to a comment by @waterfall8484 put into a separate post bc i have Thoughts

Hang on, trying again... The teammate/soul mate thing sounds like a really fun idea! Depending on driver vibes you could have non-teammate alliances like with Cleo and Scott, lone wolf drivers like Pearl... oooh, what would a 5am Oscar be like?? There was also the secret thing going on between Grian and BigB, and you have reluctant team/soul mates like Grian with Scar.

oh there will be a Lot of non-teammate alliances in this hypothetical double life. i have so many thoughts actually on how some of the teams would work. if i get any of the dynamics wrong do know that i have not watched double life since it first aired

ferrari [55&16] - i think they'd be similar to a joel and etho dynamic (tho i think they'd have the same kind of history as desert duo). one is obsessed with the other, they both are Not Normal about each other, they both would absolutely try to kill each other. the base is made of wood (the car is shit) but hey at least it looks pretty and is honestly pretty practical (they get a few wins in that thing). they die together in lava (taken by circumstances out of their control)

haas [27&20] - very similar to impulse and bdubs. insane about eachother. would murder everyone else whilst living the suburban family life

mclaren [4&81] - THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY SCOTT AND PEARL CODED...oscar going lone wolf YES

okay so for this one im thinking moreso for like. rancher duo as a basis for how they would work and imo this works for two diff teams. mercedes [44&63] OR williams [2&23] (yes logan. hold on a moment). they wanna just. raise livestock together and live peacefully on their side of the hill but no. they are doomed by the narrative. one is doomed to die first (and thus take the other with them) and the other is doomed to die a meaningless death. i feel like it could work with either merc or williams

now some non-team dynamics... ehehe

33&16 - i had to. I HAD TO. they absolutely meet with each other in secret and help each other more than their teammates. they think it's a secret but everyone knows

yknow how scott was always reaching out to jimmy. do you think george and alex did that to each other.

pierre and yuki are absolutely teaming

i can see lewis and fernando in like. a reluctant allyship sort of position? dont ask how they get there i just. see it

all for now i think...yeah this is about it for now. there is honestly so much material to work with. if/when i write the fic for this im gonna upload the chapters every tuesday bc thats when they used to upload each pov

[braxiatel]

Hi hello hi I just caught up on equinox and it's making me insane I have so many thoughts I'm just going to throw all of them at you beloved mutual. Also I listened to the Hades ost while reading this and I think it rewired my brain chemistry. Also Equinox spoilers below dear readers.

QUITE FRANKLY I do not know enough about Ancient Greek myths because it was never an area of interest for me but never the less I have been GRIPPED. Atherix was like "I hate cheating stories and I am Making An Exception for this one" so of course i had to read it and now I am simply perched like a bird staring down at this it is fantastic. Oh my god I cannot wait for everything to run through the fan here.

Scar and Grian are SUCH a mess and it is a DELIGHT. You have truly captured the Vibes here my lord. The fact that Scar remains loyal for SO LONG after Grian stops paying attention to him and keeps a shrine to his husband and grian is just. GOING BEHIND HIS BACK. AUGH. MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS. and then SCAR being like "you know what i deserve it" far be it from me to cheer on someone cheating on their spouse but FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS MAN YES YOU DO. ESPECIALLY considering how Grian vs Scar's cheating parallel each other like Grian is LYING to himself and hurting both himself AND bigb in the process whereas Scar is FINALLY happy with Mumbo while S T I L L feeling the pull back to Grian and the way ALL of it parallels double life and how Grian and Scar see alliances and contracts as completely different and play the game different can anyone HEAR me I am SCREAMING

GOD I WANT TO SHAKE THEM ALL IN A JAR!!!!

And the fact that Mumbo is Etho's son [I think. I think I understand this dynamic correctly] is going to make me GNAW MY OWN ARM OFF ETHO MY BELOVED!!!!! AUGH HIS CHARACTERIZATION IS SO GOOD IM GONNA GO INSANE. I AM THROWING MYSELF OVER A FAINTING COUCH.

AND THEN BIGB'S NYMPH...TIE. BRANCH. THING BEING INSIDE GRIAN'S GARDEN BUT THE ONLY PRE-RELATIONSHIP THATS TAGGED IN MUMSCARIAN!!!! I AM SO SCARED FOR BIGB OH GOD

Oh my god and the way redstone works here has my heart. Delicate devicess that can blow up and be made big and complex its just so. Mwah. Mwah mwah mwah. I love redstone so much.

AND THEN ALL THE SOFT REDSCAPE WHERE MUMBO IS WORRIED BECAUSE HES A DEMIGOD THIS POOR MAN IS GONNA HAVE LIKE. 3 IDENTITY CRISIES TO GET TO THAT MUMSCARIAN TAG HUH. "I hate the gods I am a demi god i love a god I love two gods oh god[s]". My poor mumbo jumbo. Whump on him some more I love it.

AND JUST THE DESCRIPTION OF THE UNDERWORLD AUGH ITS SO!!!! The way you describe it is so vivid and yet also like ever shifting in my mind which tbf is how I would picture the actual underworld anyway and I just DLKFHSAFHKLADFKLHA I AM GOING MAD

AND CUB!!!! CUB MY BELOVED OH YOU HAVE CAPTURED HIS 'WAY TOO CHILL' ATTITUDE SO WELL GOOOOOOOOOOOOD. The scene between cub and grian i was just like GET HIS ASS!!!! GET HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH THE FACT THAT IM OUT OF EQUINOX STUFF TO READ NOW. SOB. I CANT WAIT FOR ME

Hello beloved mutual Stitch <3 Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I spent all morning being excited about this ask!

Thank you, yes! Double Life was the first life series I got to watch live, and I am just. I'm not over any of it tbh? at least 1% of my psyche is at all times devoted to screaming about this canon soulmate AU.

And honestly? I feel the same about cheating stories. But then cc!Grian said "I want to hang out with my bestie, so I'm gonna make my little guy be into his little guy" in double life and was then like tragedy! pain! despair! and I ate that shit right up.

Scar really did go "I can have a little gay summer flirt for myself, as a treat :)" and then turned around and fell Hard for Mumbo. Way harder than I think he thought he'd be able to with a mortal. Not that that's something he thinks about much, of course. Mumbo is just Mumbo to him, he doesn't care about what he is. Scar you really should tell him you're a god. You really should do that my dude.

Yes Mumbo is Etho's son and it was entirely accidental 😂 I was like "Well this is who Mumbo is in the AU and then a couple of days later "Oh I know who Etho is" and then it took me like an hour from there before I made the connection.

Top 1 reason I need mumscarian to become canon in this au soon, btw:

[ID in alt]

me in fic: redstone is so cool I love it so much redstoners my beloved me in mincraft: *sobbing, weeping, wailing as I rebuild an item sorter for the third time*

Honestly? Yes. Mumbo is just here trying to live his life meanwhile a tidal wave of god politics is building in the background. He's gonna have A Day when everything gets brought into the light. I'm sure he'll be Fine about his boyfriend of many years being something he's terrified of, though... right?

I am looking very hard at Cub's current lore, because that could be relevant for a future equinox thing and I badly want an excuse to bring him back.

Thank you < 3 I wrote a sentence on my WIP just now, just for you.

[ID: she grins, teeth like jagged shards of iron]

[bluiex]

I'm so glad others brought up Bigb being part of the polycule. I had the thought when it was brought up that Mumbo didn't love Bigb he loved Grian and Scar. But I forgot to drop the idea And someone else brought it up bless you So imagine, DL starts. Grian and Scar find out they are soulmates, and Scar notices how he looks at Bigb. Scar liked Bigb, ever since he stole his cookie in 3rd Life. He was a nice guy, easy on the eyes. And he just always had such a nice personality too But feeling Grian's feelings toward Bigb. Scar starts getting Very interested in Bigb too. Feelings start coming quick for Scar, and Bigb is very nice to the Jellie pandas too. And that really helps his feelings So, Grian and Scar hatch the secret soulmate thing together. Grian would get close to Bigb, but he also talks up Scar too. Sure they are "secret" soulmates but only really secret from Ren if we are being honest here Bigb flusters knowing that both Grian and Scar have a thing for him. Grian was one thing but Scar? Bigb realizes he has feelings for Grian first. But he finds his feelings for Scar when he's hanging out with him and the Jellie pandas, helping feed them. Scar gives him a hug smile that makes his heart just flutter. And then Scar laughs, this loud joyous happy laugh when one the Jellie pandas bump inot him knocking him into Bigb who catches him. And that laugh just does something to him, he feels so warm and happy, realizing he'd love to hear that laugh more He falls and he falls so hard for Grian and Scar. Seeing them both in a new light he didn't ever expect. And if he smiles everytime he thinks of them. Well thats his business I feel like if they are dating Cub and Mumbo too. They wait until the series is over and has Bigb over so they can all talk and make sure they are okay with Scar and Grian dating Bigb. Which goes over well and all things are talked out. Mumbo knows Bigb so he knows how he is. Cub I feel like is more the type to vet Bigb cause he doesn't want his partners hurt But he learns quickly that Bigb is not the type that would purposely hurt anyone and agrees. Even if Mumbo and Cub don't date him they just earned another friend, a good friend at that And honestly if people don't want Ren left behind, we've had Scarian and Ren before so honestly they have more than enough love to them to give so yknow just grow the polycule -@spacecatdet

At this point it is just polyhermits with other mc ppl /pos

No but like this is perfect. They both begin "courting" BigB during DL and by the end of it they successfully got him into their relationship and back home to Cub and Mumbo to talk further <3

[gammagoop]

@3000-200-grains-of-salt

well first of all, thank you so much! i'm really glad, because thats exactly what i strive to achieve :D

and also thank you for letting me talk about these things because i loooooove rambling

here's the list (the last life members were added manually so sorry if they look a bit odd) ->

all of these rankings are subject to change, but this is where i'm at right now!

the second tier might seem like a bit of an odd distinction from the first, and it is, because it describes a kind of abstract 'vibe' i get from them that i'm not sure how to communicate to other people :p

here's some more in-depth thoughts about a handful of these:

under the cut because it got looooooooongggg

these are in reference to how i see their 'base state', basically just how they are most consistently. beef is human even though he became alien-ish in season 8, whereas cub changes visually because i think he just does that regardless of season or lore. (can't pin him down! one episode he is a normal man and the next theres something Different)

i also am not taking into account the empires server, because unlike hermitcraft or the life series, those guys are specifically designated as characters in a story-- so it doesnt have bearing on that 'base state'

i've tossed around hybrid ideas for false before (eagle is popular in fanon i think, but i also thought it would be cool if she were a bat [mcc9 is close to my heart]) but i think she works best to me as a human

i debated where the last 4 people in the 'normal human' tier should go tbh. impulse and skizz read as normal guys to me but i also haven't completely settled on that with them. bigb is like. the sweetest person ever which made me thing hrmmm maybe he's *inhumanly* nice but no i think its important he's human because inhuman kindness is actually extremely human and beautiful. and jimmy..... jimmy.... let me make another bullet point for him

if anything jimmy would go in the second tier. i know the canary curse thing is popular fanon and i think that's fun but honestly, in a similar way to bigb, i think thats just the way humans can be sometimes (obviously, since jimmy is actually a real human) and im so attached to the concept of people being 'supernatural' in extremely natural ways. i always find a way to bring in my philosophies when i talk about this stuff........ anyways . what i mean with jimmy is that you might think he is cursed and doomed but actually its just a bad string of events and he will thrive despite them

etho...................................................... my etho thoughts are so lengthy idk if i can put them all here

honestly keralis could be anything. i think keralis is hilarious because no one really agrees on how to draw him, and it's highly dependent on any one artist's style. because his skin is cartoonish and irl he's just an adult man with a big grey beard and i feel like even his voice is a wildcard. i can't pin keralis. i never could

joel. joel. i am a joel fan 5ever. i dont have much else to say about him...... other than i think we as a people should start giving him more facial hair. i'm doing my part. are you?

everyone in the 3rd tier from the top except stress is like. they are completely visually human but they're not *actually* human and i, me, mason, haven't decided on what exactly makes them inhuman. its just their aura

whereas stress (the exception) is completely visually human but she has a bunch of weird beady eyes under her hair swoop (you can kind of see them in my hermitaday stress). hence, stress monster. but she's not a 'monster' in terms of personality. she's full of joy.

cub and pearl are similar in terms of i think they change appearance sometimes. cub moreso than pearl. i think it just kind of.... happens.... with cub. he's like innately tied to supernatural happenings (not just through convex) so he's just kinda visually unpredictable. personality wise he is always the same, though. wheras pearl is like some sort of celestial body who you would genuinely believe is human until like a full moon or something where she can't keep the appearance up. that's my pearl lore. she's very grounded and human in terms of personality though

scar. scar? idk. similar to cub except he changes appearance for like. 'roles'. i dont even Know with scar. he's like mostly human but sometimes he got elf ears. what's up with that guy. idk that's scar.

the only one in the 'nonhuman/hybrid' tier that i dont have a set 'species' for is tango. he could be like an elemental or something.....? or he's just a weird humanoid. ? shrugs. cave beast this season.

all the others there are p obvious though. cleo zombie gem deer ren dog jevin slime (i dont actually watch jevin that much but he was an obvious pick for this category soooo)

doc gets his own tier because he has so much going on. not a fiber of his body is human. god bless

i think? thats all

if i made any typing errors in that just ignore it pls... if it bothers me too much i'll edit the post to fix it once i get the energy to read back over these . passes out

saw your ask for the canon/fanon/your design challenge, have you done skizz?

tempting because i love drawing skizz but honestly my design for him isn’t all that different from canon or even fanon

i know the fanon right now is that he’s an angel/part angel but recently i’m not the biggest participator in hybrid designs :p

(i answered this ask and then proceeded to use this ask as an excuse to ramble about some of my design process….)

i do think its really cute though, especially when paired with demon impulse, because their personalities don’t perfectly match what would be expected from angels and demons typically.

skizz is wayyy more chaotic and impulse is betrayed more times than he betrays other people, just as examples, yet i still find the designs fun as a duo!

(begs the question though — angel and demon from what? the christian heaven and hell? the minecraft heaven and hell? is this a watcher lore thing that i don’t know about because i don’t keep up with the watcher lore? probably none of those actually, it doesnt really need explained [like how theres no explanation really needed for how cleo’s a sentient zombie, its all for fun])

i don’t really do hybrid designs as much as fanon does because my goal with designing them is to capture their vibe, or how i perceive their personality. like a person who’s watched a lot of hermitcraft but has never seen hermitcraft fanart could look at my drawing and say “i’m almost certain that’s bdubs”. and doing hybrids doesnt always fit in to that for me! you’ve probably noticed i’ve gone super back and forth on my zed design, particularly whether he should have long or short hair and whether he should be a sheep hybrid or not. i’m partial to the ‘not’ but i havent really decided yet— we’ll see!

though if a person’s mc skin is already a hybrid or if that just fits well with their energy (ren the canonical dog ; gem just reads as a deer/similar to me) i do draw them as that! i just don’t always hop on fanon hybrids, like grian is never an avian or any other hybrid in my recent drawings, and etho has become more and more human as well, etc.

i should make a chart or something of how i choose these things. like a tierlist— human to nonhuman. would anyone want that. would anyone be interested. leave a comment below if you are intwrested and dont forget to subscribe and smash that. fucking like button 🫡

[stargod]

Ok ok im tired of seeing every mention of bigbs betrayal being all the same takes over and over about either cleo and/or that he could have asked, so here are some other thoughts:

- the point of boogeyman, and technically the game at large, is to get people to trust u so theyre less of a threat. Technically bigb did exactly what the role was intended for, he basically just played the long con. The fact that he caught feelings cause he didnt Realize he was playing a long con just makes it that much juicier

- also how many people can say they Actually gained Cleo's trust? Bdubs. And MAYBE tango. And even then was it her trust they got or just her affection? Technically i think that makes bigb one of the best boogeymen so far.

- After all what better way to gain someones trust than to genuinely deserve it. Up. Till. The very. Last. Moment. (Not great for cleo's future trust endeavors, but that kind of works seeing as thats the one thing she doesn't need anymore...) (also another great foil moment to ren, who also gains trust thru actually deserving it- imo)

- consider why the fairies ultimately decided to stick with him. Theyve all been boogeymen. They Know the itch. They kno, even tho they Started by trying to kill outside the alliance, if push came to shove, EXACTLY how it did for bigb (he didn't immediately decide to kill in-ranks, he struggled the whole episode to find Anyone), they wouldve done anything as well.

- yes, if he'd told them, if he'd ASKED for help, push might Not have come to shove for bigb, but consider why he didnt. He was Terrified. He isnt like Lizzie, he specifically mentioned he doesnt kno how to build traps and there were several moments he Could have pvped that Could have failed. And he's not ren either. He doesnt have the leverage ren has, he doesnt have the repor that would help him trust others to Trust him. And hes not cleo, shes never been the boogeyman, she has no idea what she'd do (or wouldve done) let alone anyone else knowing.

- remember bigb telling etho he wouldnt kill anyone? That he thought maybe he'd just go to red? He almost did. Do you think he thought of that in those final moments? Why do you think he changed his mind? Maybe being boogeyman made him realize how impossible winning on red might be for him. Maybe he realized he'd rather take the risk losing a friend on green than not having the option of friends on red...

- And can we talk about his main ally being cleo? Cleo who, even when she had absolutely 0 reasons not to trust ren, refused to trust him. Shes willing to drop people. Shes willing to drop Anyone. Even when she Swore she would Die for tango and bdubs, she said it because she Believed they might ask. Because when the name of the game is last life, the only person you can Trust is yourself.

- I do believe that, in the last 5 minutes, if bigb had told her, cleo would have let him kill her. But if he'd asked for their help from the start the way ren did? If he'd told her on that ladder, or on the bridge, or maybe even standing over the pond having listened to them all jump aboard to help ren. I dont think it would have been the same.

- And maybe, maybe bigb didnt want to ask. Maybe in spite of the curse, in spite of every instinct to survive. Bigb might hoped, believed even, that he might fail to kill Cleo.

- Lizzie didnt think to disavow bigb. I personally think it just genuinely didnt occur to her, because real time rping and what have u. But she could have condemned bigb. It wouldve made sense. Cleo was angry that she was betrayed, if Lizzie had simply said i am also angry you got betrayed (and she seemed like she honestly was) if she had said why would i want someone i kno will betray their closest allies on my team (and why would she) she might have won cleo back, and cleo wouldn't have gone over to scott and pearl's and she wouldnt have gone red...

- martyn trying to exile bigb from the fairies without being a part of them

- the way martyn is trying to use ren to control the fairies, but he crossed the line. He's never been boogeyman, he didnt think ren would side with a traitor, maybe he should wonder just how much he Does kno about ren. Just how much power he really has.. (also, just, ren being the one to stick up for bigb And against martyn one of the people actually like the most 🥺🥺) (also martyn overstepping- over estimating what he can get away with >:3 get lost stinky boy!!)

-the shadow fairies are now entirely composed of people who have been afflicted by the curse

- not only did the only person to not experience the curse end up being the one to abandon ship now shes a red name

- (listen, writing isnt my strong suit, but i feel like red names v boogeymen make for an interesting dichotomy, like red names are almost more "natural" and harder to come back from, where the boogeyman is practically a virus and people who have it are still green names, they still have the chance to "remove" the curse and being red is still the most terrifying threat)

- mix that with cleo's general self-riteousness (affectionate)- "i have the RIGHT to kill, now, youre all just TRAITORS"

- i think cleo pointing out to ren that she knew if push came to shove ren wouldve betrayed her or bigb was really important to ren sticking up for bigb afterward

- yes theyre perfect foils for what happened- the difference between being transparent with ur allies and having help v not and ending up being Forced to betray.

- But Cleo Was right and ren Does grant that if skizz hadnt worked he wouldve been short on time and even Lizzie may have requested he kill one of their allies rather than lose her guard dog

- even tho bigb was in 3rd life he was forced to make way less difficult decisions, mostly cause he was just less confrontational, he has less experience with that that than ren, he was SCARED

- he was Scared his allies didnt care enough about him to help. He was scared he had the one ally on the server most likely to drop him for even being remotely a threat. He was Scared that he didnt have what it took to pvp or trap or beguile!

- and if u just take even a moment to consider "why DIDN'T he tell anyone after they spent literally the whole episode Helping ren", u realise the answer couldve very well been.. "well, im not ren" maybe he felt like more of an outsider than ren, more expendable.

-bigb cast himself out of the alliance before they ever had the chance to. By staying on the outside, he never had to know if they would turn their backs on him. And the fact that they decided to stick with him after it all, when he thought they might really cast him out. Looked inside themselves and realized that bigb was Not an outsider- Not a Betrayer- that he was in fact, just like them- scared and afflicted and feeling completely alone. I think this could make their alliance way stronger than the others, and possibly even make ren more resilient to martyns whispers (although evidence points to no on that one)

- i do think, tho, bigb needs to find something more substantial to tie himself to them fast though. "We have all had to deal with the fear of betraying our friends now" is not exactly the most substantial post to tie your bonds to. But i think just making that idea stronger by Being more transparent moving forward could do the trick. Making it less "we all have almost betrayed our friends" and making it "we are not the curse that made us do that" maybe? Might could help? And by being honest- not vulnerable but honest- moving forward could have that desired effect, exactly...