#but honestly that applies to both sides about just about any of this stupid online discourse shit

[demi--human]

So, we've been thinking about this a lot, and debating whether or not to post about it, but fuck it, we're gonna say it.

If someone tells us they experience something, we're going to believe them. Who the fuck are we to tell them what they do or don't, can or can't experience. We're not them, we don't know their mind, their feelings, their personal experiences.

[This is primarily about syscourse, in case that wasn't obvious, but applies to a shite load of other things that are commonly targets of discourse.]

If someone tells us, "I am a system, my system formed without/ unrelated to trauma," or "My orientation is complex, these labels may contradict each-other, but they best describe my experience," or "There's a disconnect between what I am according to my brain and what I am according to society / 'real life,'" or-- Alright pal, thanks for sharing, we believe you.

Obviously, there's certain things that we have problems with, there's some whacky-ass shit that people will claim that we just can't get behind. However, we can disagree with how they label it, how they go about presenting it to the world, without claiming that they couldn't possibly ever experience that thing, because how the fuck do we know what's going on with them? We don't.

Existence is fucking weird, brains and minds are fucking weird, so obviously there's going to be people who are just fucking weird - hey, we're definitely pretty fucking weird. So when others tell us about their fucking weirdness, we're gonna believe them. Simple as that.

[For the love of puppies, please don't go in the comments/reblogs going "what about XYZ," or stir shit. This is just our personal opinion, so take that with a grain of salt and leave us alone, yeah?]

[simpleskull200]

I will never understand DNI lists, unless they're for NSFW accounts trying to keep underage people from interacting with them and are actively monitoring who follows them as a result. The concept of trying to bar people from trying to enjoy the work you create as an artist just because some people with similar mindsets as them is shitty.

As far as things go what does it matter who interacts with you if they're not bullying, harrassing or otherwise treating you badly? I mean, as far as things go it takes less effort and energy to hit the block button on people who interact with you that make you uncomfortable than it is for people to make secondary websites or posts that they expect people to read that is just there to gatekeep who can or cannot interact with them.

Not everyone is going to read DNI lists and a lot of the people who do read it probably don't give two shits and are going to interact with you anyways because they obviously either enjoy your content or are intent on trying to harass you.

This whole "DNI if you're..." Thing is honestly just helping cultivate a more toxic environment in fandom spaces as the vocal minorities on both sides of stupid controversial a d trivial things in fandoms argue endlessly back and forth over something that really isn't complicated or need to be fought about.

One example that comes to mind can be solved by people understanding the following:

1. People have freedom of creative expression, so long as it's within the limits of their country's respective laws.

2. Art can be used as a way for people to express things and explore things from a creative lens.

3. Not everything people create is going to be savory, and people have every right to be uncomfortable or block that person.

4. People have different life experiences and traumas, sharing dark and potentially triggering stories or art online means you should be tagging your work appropriately and putting in the correct warnings.

5. Nobody deserves to be harassed, attacked or doxxed. If someone is genuinely breaking the law, report them and encourage other to do the same, especially if the safety of others is genuinely at risk.

6. Not every piece of art or work is going to be good for you, and you don't need to interact with it. You're under no obligation to continue reading, scrolling, etc. and that's okay.

7. Not everything needs to be made to your standards, art would be meaningless if it did.

8. Be a respectful person, don't attack people on the internet just because you don't like their art, writing, beliefs. Just block them and carry on, there's no need to potentially trigger someone else or cause others distress. (Two wrongs don't make a right)

9. The block button is free.

10. Don't interact with posts you don't want to see and you'll see less of them. The internet is massive, so it's up to you to tag your posts accordingly to help tailor your own browsing experience and make it easy for others to do the same.

These 10 simple things can apply to any social media or website you use, these can be applied to most things on the internet, not just fandom.

Healthy interaction is a two way street, it's not fair for you to expect people you don't want to interact with you not to, when you go out of your way to harass other people.

This is not directed at anyone in particular and is rather a culmination of the frustration that has built up as I've seen the same dramas time and time again happen online, especially in fandom spaces. The current mentality in fandom spaces is genuinely a toxic one that needs to be stopped before it starts to have genuine real life issues spring up because of online faces starting to attack people offline too.

Tha k you for coming to my TED talk

[killingitreservoirdogsstyle]

OMG!!!! I am so excited in regards to your update! My first smiths request from you, if you’re willing….could I get an HC of what sex would be like with Mr. Orange? If not, I totally understand! 🌸

I’m glad you had a good birthday! ♥️

Hi again, anon!! Thank you so much for your kindness! How are you doing today? And I am absolutely willing to do this request, its perfect! I might be a little less detailed than other writers at first because I'm so new, which I hope isn't an inconvenience in any way. But yes, I would love to do this! Oh god, I'm blushing right now for some weird reason, probs because I'm going to show my inner simp on the Internet, lmfao. Y'all have been warned, oh my god. Anyways, let's get right into the smut!!

Quick note, for people who are triggered by smut, please don't read this, I don't want to offend or hurt you in any way. And minors DO NOT INTERACT, if I catch you, I will block you! You have been warned!

FANDOM: Reservoir Dogs

GENRE: Requested headcanons, smut!

SYNOPSIS: You are Mr. Orange's gender neutral s/o in a romantic relationship with him, and you see his sexual side come out.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Smut, swearing, implied sex, romantic relationship, and me being stupid and awkward!

Orange is actually one of the sweeter fucks in regards to the Dogs, certainly the most selfless lover of the gang. He doesn't push you around, tease you too badly, or subject you to anything you deem to be out of your comfort zone. Honestly, he's a real cinnamon bun about it. He just loves you, and is so grateful that you two even have a sex life together. So of course he won't force you into anything you don't like.

Let me say though that his kindness does not translate into him being less horny than the others. Nope, his libido is just as through the roof as theirs is, if not more so because he's the youngest of the group. His stamina is formidable, he's like a bucking and kicking colt, bred to race.

However, I reiterate that he won't push you into sex just because of his horniness. A relationship is built on respect, which he understands applies to everything you two do. Freddy isn't about to violate your trust or love for a moment, not even a millisecond.

I hope that it's okay for me to insert a quick little smutty headcanon here that is kind of off topic, but I wanted to add it so badly. Plus, it actually fits Orange very well. I'm not sure if any of you are on TikTok or not ( I'm not, I just watch clips online from it ), or if you guys keep up with trends, but there was a hilarious series of videos where girlfriends/boyfriends would walk out naked on their lovers to pull them away from their video games. You do the same thing to Freddy, which obviously benefits the two of you in more ways than one, ha ha.

Moving on though, typically sex comes after a long period of foreplay through making out and teasing each other. He's so tender, kissing you with all his gusto and hands roaming free across your body. He loves the feeling of you under him, pinned below at his mercy. And you love it too, touching him without restraint too.

Laying on the sofa in your apartment, you two are right in the middle of kissing. Both your shirts lay discarded on the floor, his sweats hanging low around his waist, and your jeans unbuttoned. He groans when you clamp your hands on his ass, his bulge pressing against your crotch taut and rock-hard. Grunts and groans spill from his lips, curses pouring out.

After you two get off the remainder of your clothes off, you don't hesitate to get right into the actual dirty deed.

He's a great lover, rowdy, playful, like an excited puppy. His thrusts are deep, a little stabby, but calculated and controlled for both of your pleasure.

Freddy always tries to make sure that you're in as much bliss as he is, putting your pleasure above his first. You always cum first, he makes sure of it, and then he follows suit.

I swear to you the noises that come out of his mouth are unholy and filthy. He's animalistic, almost a completely different person.

" Ohh fuck, Y/N... God baby, just like that..."

" Goddamn it, you're sooo tight..."

" Ah, Jesus Christ, Y/N! Look at what you're doing to me, shit..."

" Yeah, you like that? Tell me, tell me how much you like it when I'm fucking you like this..."

He's a king of aftercare and I won't hear otherwise! After you two are finished, he will run you a bath if you need it, grab you a soda or some chips, and then pull you close in a warm cuddle. The blankets create a sort of cocoon for you two, soft and toasty for your naked bodies. He kisses your head, praising you and complimenting you the whole while. As you two fall into sleep, you take each other's hands and let yourselves be together.

I'm sorry these were so short and I hope that these were okay for my first smut post on this blog. Thank you so much for your request anon, I super appreciate your continued support! Have a great Easter weekend all of you, if you celebrate it, and stay tuned for more posts!

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Writing smut without cringing the whole time? How do you do it.

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame

CONTENT WARNING: NSFW RELATED CONTENT BELOW.

The short answer, nonnie, is: you don’t. 

That is to say, writing smut is always kind of cringe—especially if you’re new to it, or simply “not in the mood” to write. 

But rest assured, feeling embarrassed is completely natural. The trick is learning how to overcome the cringe when it does happen, instead of letting it deter you.

I’m going to break this up into a few sections: 1) Why you might be feeling this way, 2) How I, personally, combat the issue, and 3) Some more tips that might help you get the ball rolling.

1. Why You “Cringe”

It’s important to find the root cause of any form of writer’s block so you can pull the weed out instead of just trimming it back. Smut writer’s block is its own special brand, and generally, the main issue writers have when it comes to smut is stigma.

Speaking openly and honestly about sex, in Western society, is still very much a taboo.

No matter how “progressive” we like to think we are, the inherent shame surrounding pleasure-seeking experiences, and the detailing/consumption of them, has been ground into us since we learned how to understand the concept of gratification.

And I’m not just talking about sexual gratification. This applies to everyday things, as well. Eating, shopping, relaxing (or doing virtually anything in capitalist society that does not directly contribute to capitalism).

So it makes sense that you would feel any amount of embarrassment, awkwardness, or “cringe” when writing smut. It’s something our society teaches us is wrong to want. Unfortunately, that shame translates to writer’s block when we sit down in front of the computer.

A lot of this blockage might stem from not giving ourselves permission to write the thing.

We’re staring at the blank document, knowing we want to write smut, and suddenly the thoughts start streaming in: This feels wrong, is this wrong? What if someone comes in and looks over my shoulder while I’m writing? Am I describing this right? Is this too unrealistic? I have NO idea what I’m doing, and everyone is going to know it.

These are all perfectly normal thoughts, and definitely ones I still have from time to time. But they’re also probably the direct cause of why you feel so blocked. Luckily, I have some bits of advice to give you on how to unblock yourself.

2. How I Combat Smut Block

✦ First, when the intrusive thoughts occur, instead of ruminating on them, think of each one as an impermanent object. You can use any metaphor, but I like to use the imagery of leaves:

Each negative thought is a leaf floating down the river of your mind. If you focus only on the leaf, you’ll exert a lot of energy running to try and keep up with it, consequently miss everything else around you. But if you acknowledge that leaf as a temporary part of the scenery, and let is pass, you can process and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings a whole lot better.

Remember: you are separate from your thoughts. You are not defined by them. The things you think sound stupid might be incredibly exciting to someone else. 

If you can string a sentence together, you can write smut. This is all part of giving yourself permission to write the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

✦ Second, I’d suggest giving good thought to how you personally experience embarrassment, how you experience excitement (of the sexual variety), and how those two might sometimes commingle or feel similar.

For me, they are very comparable, like different shades of the same emotion—but there are differences which are important to note. 

If I’m making myself blush from excitement, this is a very good thing for writing smut. It means that what I’m writing feels real enough to evoke something in the reader, even if the reader, like me, knows what’s going to happen.

If I’m making myself cringe, however, it may be time to take a step back and readjust my perspective.

✦ Third, ease yourself into it! Don’t jump straight in the deep end and expect to know how to keep your head above water if you’ve never swum before.

The way I eased myself into smut was first by writing “Steam”—a category of fic I made up because the current vocabulary lacked an efficient term for fics that straddled emotional romance and explicit content. 

Essentially, steam is smut-adjacent but not explicit, and here’s a step-by-step example of how I transitioned myself smoothly from one genre to the next:

I first wrote my fics Wicked Game and You Are (both of which feature either a heavy make out session or teasing + lots of sexual tension) with this “steam” concept in mind.

I wrote the first chapter of Fine Line, which has brief but explicit descriptions of fantasies, framed by a very sexually charged scene.

I released my fic Crashing, which is probably more of a bridge between Steam and Smut, and features soft-focus fingering. Nothing in it is explicit—it focuses more on the emotions than explicit detail—but it’s very clear what is happening.

After I wrote those, I felt just confident enough to make that final stride over the threshold into smut. I wrote my fics Holy, King, and the second chapter of Fine Line all within weeks of each other.

And trust me when I say, once you get the momentum going and receive that validation from people who’ve read your work, it becomes SO much easier to sit down and start writing. 

You just have to finish that first piece.

✦ Finally (and I know I’m going to sound cliche when I say this), just like any other skill, the more you practice the more confident you will feel and the better you will get. 

So practice, practice, practice! 

If you’re nervous about posting smut for the first time, have a trusted friend/mutual Beta read it for you. It’s the online equivalent to someone holding your hand before jumping off the cliff, and works wonders for the nerves.

3. Keep The Smut Rolling

Now that you have some tools to help get you past the blockage of writing smut, here’s how to keep the inspiration flowing.

✦ Start by incorporating smutty fanfiction/erotic fiction into your regular reading rotation- 

Of course AO3 is a fantastic resource for smutty fanfiction. 

If you’re a fan of TFOTA or ACOTAR and want some of my personal fic recs, visit my fic rec masterlist.

In terms of erotic fiction, my personal favourites are anything Anais Nin (specifically Henry & June and Delta of Venus), The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone, The Godwicks series by Tiffany Reisz, and The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz.

There are also sites like Literotica and sexstories.com, which play host to explicit short fiction (not fandom based).

✦ Next, I’d recommend having a designated digital space for smutspiration- 

This can be a list of “smutty” words/phrases kept on a separate document on your computer, for those days when you just can’t think of the right way to describe something. 

Or you can create a private side-blog or Pinterest board for your favourite smutty fanart or other kinds of visual smutspiration.

✦ For that matter, try following some smutty/18+ blogs (ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) here on Tumblr-

Many of them have a plethora of what I like to call “lemony snippets”, a.k.a. short text posts that describe (usually in conversational language) explicit scenarios. 

This is useful because it will normalise the concept of sexual fantasies in your brain, making it less weird for you when you try to come up with ones of your own to write into smut. 

Not to mention, your dash will be rife with inspiration.

✦ I would also suggest checking out 18+ ASMR on YouTube (AGAIN, ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+). 

My favourite account is Professor Cal Official, but Auralescent also has some good content. 

Headphones are highly advisable for this, as their stuff is very dangerous for work.

So, nonnie, I hope this has provided you with at least one helpful tip. Whether you took anything away from this or not, just know that the feelings of embarrassment when it comes to writing smut are entirely normal. And the best way to keep those feelings at bay is to confront them head on. 

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Advice Masterlist

Writing Masterlist

2K Celebration!

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Goodbye Paris

Marinette is 17 and the other 18 in this Au.

Marinette's parents fall under Lila's spell as well. She starts filling them with lies about Marinette and soon they start believing her. 

Lila accuses Marinette of sneaking out and hanging out with the wrong people. Sabine and Tom start believing her, especially when they notice she wasn't there one night. She was out patrolling as Ladybug.

Soon Marinette is on lock down barely able to leave her house. She struggles to even get out as Ladybug.

Her parents become more and more distant, soon not even talking to Marinette. No goodbyes, hellos, I missed you, or I love you, just silence. Marinette tries to combat the lies but her parents won't listen. She slowly gives up focusing on Hawkmoth, school, and designing. 

Halfway through the year she opts to graduate early forfeiting walking at graduation. She doesn't even mention it to her parents, just focuses on getting money together for her own place while applying to colleges overseas. After she stops attending Chloe reaches out to her apologizing for everything she had done and asking for a second chance. Chloe moved to America with her mother, their junior year unable to handle akuma anymore. Marinette tells her their relationship will be rockey and first but she agrees to a new start.

It's right before the end of the school year when Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat Hawkmoth and get the two missing Miraculouses back. Chat gets mad when Ladybug refuses to reveal her identity and attempts to make her. She stops him and takes his Miraculous back as well revealing Adrien. 

"This is goodbye Chaton. If you had taken this more seriously. Perhaps you could know it, but you never did."

She leaves him there returning home and safely putting the peacock and butterfly miraculouses away. After his defeat she stops patrolling as Ladybug and instead plans her move, not wishing to be with her parents any longer.

Once she stops patrolling petty crime begins to pick up again. The city starts crying out for Ladybug to return but Marinette wont. She can't be there for everything, it's time the police start doing their job again. After a month the city is outraged that Ladybug is nowhere to be seen. They take to Adrien who admits to being Chat Noir, he apologizes to Paris saying that Ladybug took his Miraculous. He tells them that he wants to help but she won't help him any longer. After his display Paris begins a smear campaign against Ladybug. Tired of this Marinette transforms and heads to the Eiffel Tower broadcasting to all of Paris her goodbye.

Marinette- I have heard the out cry at my disappearance, and I find it deplorable. I have been fighting since I was thirteen. Did any of you think of that? You have had a child fighting your battles for you with another child that never took it seriously! Now, now you smear my character, saying I am a villain after I have taken down Hawkmoth. All because I stopped patrolling and taking down petty criminals. Instead of looking at me you should be looking at your police force. I am done, I thought of coming back after college but after all this, no. This is goodbye Paris, for good.

After her speech Chloe video calls her asking her if she is okay. Marinette plays everything off saying she is fine until Chloe tells her that she knows she is Ladybug. Marinette hesitates trying to think of a cover but just sighs asking how Chloe knew. Chloe smiles and tells her that she grew up with the girl only and the imbecile would not be able to tell that their 'Everyday Ladybug' was their actual Ladybug. Soon after the girls get a request for Luka to join. Once he is on the call he offers his own word of comfort causing Marinette to groan and Chloe to laugh. Luka simply tells her that her song is the same beautiful piece in and outside of the mask. Marinette grumbles teasingly about Metas being annoying, causing Luka to chuckle smiling at her. She tells them that she is leaving Paris for good now that Hawkmoth is gone. Chloe encourages her to move to America and go to Juliard while Luka simply hums strumming his guitar. When he opens his eyes he tells her to follow the path that calls to her, causing Chloe to groan. Snapping at him Half heartedly he simply smiles at the two girls before saying he needs to get to bed, the girls smile saying goodnight and wishing him good luck with his show the next day before they hang up.

She is really thankful that she changed her designer name shortly after Lila came to her school. Now known as MDC she has a thriving online website and even has a few designers that follow her designs down to every single stitch. While she also helps them get their own lines started. She even begins to employ models, Chloe begging her most popular. Her clientele extended even more and she had a lot of famous musicians commissioning her. She was even commissioned by Megan Markle before she and Prince Harry got married, and was even invited to the wedding she attended with Kaalki's help.

Marinette applies to a few different colleges all in America knowing that staying in Paris was no longer an option. She is accepted at Juilliard, Harvard, and Gotham University, she wants to go to Juliard but something calls her to Gotham. She can't stop going back to Gotham's acceptance letter and ends up researching Githam and talking it over with Chloe and Luka. She doesn't make a decision until Luka tells her once again to follow the call. So she confirms attendance, not telling her parents as she leases an apartment in a safer part of Gotham. She gets in contact with one of her employed designers, Taylor in America and requests her help. 

Taylor is the in-between for Marinette and interior designers in Gotham. Helping both sides design the and decorate the penthouse so its move in ready.

Soon after the penthouse is finished Marinette packs everything in her room slowly shipping out boxes to Taylor. A couple nights later when Marinette has everything except necessities shipped her parents request she moves out saying they don't even know her anymore.

"Don't worry I already have an apartment and everything set up near my college. I leave in three days. And you don't know me huh? Well I guess that's because you two haven't really been parents in a while. Now if you'll excuse me."

Tom and Sabine are shocked especially since Lila told them Marinette had decided not to go to college at all. They confront Marinette telling her not to lie about it. She simply sighs sadly and pulls out all three acceptance letters, telling them she isn't telling them which one she decided to go with because they'll no longer be a part of her life.

The day she is set to leave Jagged and Penny are outside in a limo waiting for her. Marinette walks out of the bakery smiling brightly as Jagged gets out hugging her tightly. She thanks him for coming to America with her till she gets settled in. The driver takes her suitcase, putting it in the trunk before opening the door once again letting Jagged and Marinette in. Before getting in and driving to the airport to take Jagged's private jet to America.

They meet Chloe and Audrey at the Gotham airport, both women wanting to welcome Marinette to America. They follow the three to Marinette's penthouse. Chloe is in love with the place and practically begs Marinette to let her live with her. Marinette smiles laughing and tells her she was going to offer her a room after a month or two. Audrey agrees, telling Chloe to just make sure and call her, so she knows they're both safe.

Marinette's penthouse is big! It has two guest rooms, specially for Jagged, Penny, and her designers, when they come to visit. However now one has become Chloe's room. A kitchen her great uncle would be jealous of. A personal gym. A living room with a ping pong table and flat screen tv. 3 bathrooms. Marinette's own designing room, and the Master suite. The Master suite had a loft bed with stairs leading up to it, not a ladder. A large area set up for gaming consoles and a flat screen tv. Underneath the loft was Marinette's desk and desktop. One wall was a complete window showing Gotham from above, and against the other wall was a large luxury dollhouse decked out with hand made furniture. Something Marinette had requested was special for the Kwami to not have to remain in the box twenty four seven.

Marinette has the entire summer to herself and she doesn't have to deal with her birth parents ignoring her. She and Chloe can't wait to explore Gotham, and although Mari wishes she could patrol like she used to. She knows that this is Batman's city, and she doesn't want to get on his bad side. Instead she'll explore on the ground, and fly in her gym, which she had specially fitted with the ceiling covered in bars and ropes.

She even agrees to teach Chloe how to use the rope nest, with a net underneath them of course.

That next day Marinette, Chloe Jagged, and Penny ended up in the Gotham Gazette. Everyone wanted to know why Jagged was in Gotham and who Marinette was. Penny ended up scheduling a video meeting between Jagged and Gotham's main news station. 

Jagged- I am not moving here, nor am I here for a show. You see my honorary niece. I have to say honorary because we arent actually related which is stupid! Anyway! She is my personal designer MDC, I only wear her clothing. She just graduated high school and got accepted at Gotham University. So she moved here, and Penny, Fang, and I wanted to spend the beginning of the summer with her! Mari! Come say hello!

Marinette- Uncle I swear if you want dinner you need to stop distracting me. Hello Madame, Monsieur, I'm Marinette more popularly known as MDC. Pleasure to meet you. I'm actually in college for my business degree!

Chloe- Don't forget me! Honestly you two can be ridiculous together utterly-

Jagged and Mari smiling mischievously at her- Ridiculous!

Chloe huffs before turning to the newscaster- Chloe Bourgeois, I am Marinette's main model and top female model. I moved here with Marinette as well, though I won't be going to college, you will see me around the city doing photoshoots.

Penny takes over after Marinette and Chlke give quick interviews. Once the food is done both say goodbye and get excited to eat. However before Jagged hangs up everyone watches Marinette picks up Fang like he is nothing and cuddles him to her chest. Jagged burst into laughter and the interviewer's shocked face.

For the next couple weeks Marinette eagerly explores the city with Chloe, meeting people and unknowingly creating a name for herself. Orphans know that they can come to her for food or clothes and never have to worry about her turning them in.

A few weeks into living there they get an invitation to Bruce Wayne's upcoming charity ball. Marinette quickly gets to work making their outfits in time for the ball. While making sure the Kwami can handle Fang and that Fang knows not to eat them.

The three make waves when they arrive. Penny and Jagged wear matching outfits however they are drawn back and more muted than usual, still capturing their rock n roll vibes. Jaggeds favorite part is the music notes hand stitched on the arms of his jacket and the train of Penny's dress. Meanwhile Marinette's outfit is made to resemble the night sky and when she moves in the light her dress twinkles in the light. Chloe's is made to resemble the sun. It's a layer with yellow and orange tulle.

Jagged and Penny talk to the people conversing while Marinette talks to a few people before being able to edge herself away. While Chloe immerses herself with the other model at the gala. Marinette makes a sizable donation, the money a combination of her own and her designers making sure their names are also on the donation before making her way to the food table and snagging a few cookies eating them slowly while observing the people around her. 

Damian stumbles upon her when he finally finds an excuse to slip away. He doesn't speak to her at first just standing there sipping his champagne. They are both silent before Marinette snorts, placing her arm on his shoulder gently and leaning closer to whisper.

Marinette-look to our right the man in the terbile green suit is about to get slapped by his wife

Damian glances over and watches as Mr. Tennor gets slapped hard by his wife causing everyone to go silent as she berates him for thinking he could get away with bringing his Mistress to a charity event. Only for his Mistress to turn on him slapping him as well. Saying that he told her they were finishing their divorce. The Mistress huffs, turning to Mrs. Tennor and apologizes before storming out.

Damian turns away from the facing Marinette as he struggles not to laugh while the room is still silent. Once the talking picks back up Damian introduces himself and Marinette does the same. A little amused by the stars in Damian's eyes when he confirms she's MDC. He admits that her album covers are his favorites of Jagged's and that he has even attempted commissioning her but was unable to get in. Marinette apologizes telling him that recently she's been keeping the same clientele since she was planning on moving. She then pulls out her phone unlocking it and giving it to him. 

Marinette-Put your number in and I'll contact you tomorrow about what you want to commission.

The two spend the rest of the night talking and pointing out things about those around them. Marinette's hand remains on his shoulder and soon she is leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder and his arm around her waist as they whisper back and forth. Pointing out different things to each other and hiding the laughter as best they can.

At one point Damian notices his father starting to walk over and quickly asks her to dance. Marinette is surprised at first but she notices Mr. Wayne makes his way towards them and smirks before nodding. Damian takes her hand leading her to the dance floor. Marinette smiles at him and starts teasing him asking if he didn't want his father to see her with him. Damian quickly tells her that's not it before realizing that she was joking. He rolls his eyes huffing at her saying that his father would make a scene. This causes Marinette to snort before agreeing to help each other hide from him for the night, and they do so successfully. The only one to catch the two is Chloe who gives Damian a quick one over before deeming him good enough for her Marinette. At the end of the night Jagged and Penny find Marinette and return to her penthouse. Marinette says goodbye to Damian kissing his cheek softly before leaving with them.

When Bruce finally catches up to his youngest he huffs wrapping an arm around his shoulder declaring that they were going to have a long talk on the ride home.

The rest of the night his entire family won't stop teasing him about actually dancing with a girl and not getting her number. They keep bringing it up until he smirks holding up his phone.

Damian- That's because she got mine instead. 

He leaves the room leaving his brother in slight shock while Alfred holds up a camera and asks if they want to see pictures of the two together.

A week later Marinette meets Robin for the first time when Marinette is cornered in an alley. When Robin drops down startling them Marinette jumps into action stomping on one guy's foot getting him to release her before flipping him over her shoulder. Then she attacks at the two closest to her she flips over one's shoulder dropping behind him and kicking his legs out from under him. Punching him hard in the face. After knocking him out she jumps back as the other guy attempts to hit her. She dodges and blocks his punch before flipping back and crouching launching herself forward and punching him in the gut hard. She steps back breathing hard as she watches Robin take out the last guys. Robin turns to her and looks her over making sure she isn't hurt. Marinette thanks him softly leaning against the wall trying to catch her breath. Once she is calmed down Robin escorts her home.

The next day Damian messages her asking her on a date. Marinette teasingly asks if he's just doing this to convince her to give him a discount and he just groans. Marinette laughs telling him to pick her up at 6.

Marinette and Damian spend the summer getting to know each other and going on dates. Meeting Damian's family was an adventure for her, she loved getting to know the boys, Stephanie, Barbara, and Cass. (Dick and Barbara are definitely married in this one.) She also found it extremely easy to figure out her Damian was Robin, who she always caught stopping by on the roof across from her building.

Chloe bonds phenomenally with Stephanie; the two girls are practically glued at the hip. They spend almost all their time together, and while they don't voice it, the majority of the family had a feeling they were dating.

Soon after Chloe discovers their secret as well. They both decided not to tell them they knew because both girls knew how important secret identities were. The only people that knew Marinette was a hero was Cass and Alfred, and that was because Cass had noticed Tikki and Alfred was Duusuu's holder a long time ago.

The three bond phenomenally well, so much so that Damian is worried Cass may steal his Marinette. 

Soon the end of summer is on them and Damian finally asks Marinette to be his girlfriend and she agrees. They are now Gotham's power couple. Pictures and videos of them are everywhere on the news and Twitter.

There are even Tiktoks of them while they're out in public. Marinette's favorite is them dancing in the rain one day both laughing and smiling brightly as some kids join them.

Marinette is named Gotham's new Princess and is praised by Damian's old classmates for breaking through and making the 'Ice Prince' smile and laugh.

Soon after Chloe and Stephanie announce that they are dating as well. Both couples are all over the news and papers.

Halfway through their first year of college Lex Luthor is named President of the United States. This causes the heros to panic however they make no moves instead they begin building a case against him. This comes to a halt when the entire Batfamily is cut off from them. An earthquake wreaks Gotham killing millions and destroying the city and the bridges giving them access to the rest of the states. President Luthor locks down Gotham essentially giving up on the city and allowing no outside contact or help.

It's during this period of time that Marinette and Chloe reveal they know their identities by crashing a meeting in the Batcave.

Marinette- Yes, yes, we know and will explain later, but right now I have a plan on how to get Gotham back on its feet.

Marinette's plan relies heavily on her and Bruce's businesses. The Wayne family and Marinette are going to rebuild Gotham from the bottom up. She tells Bruce that publicly Batman is going to hand over the only way of communication outside of Gotham over to Bruce Wayne during a press conference. Then Bruce will announce their plans of using this resource to continue to bring money into the city through him and Marinette. The family is going to be hiring clean up crews, medical workers, and construction workers to rebuild their city. Marinette and Bruce focus mainly on bringing in money. Jason's focus is on helping orphans, street kids, and newly made orphans. Setting up better Orphanages with better staff and making sure no kid is a meal ticket. Dick's focus is on getting the police force back up with Gordon's help and weeding out as many corrupt cops. Tim focuses on hiring construction workers and clean up crews getting Gotham cleaned up and starting reconstruction. Cass is the one helping find more medical personnel and working with getting hospitals up and going. Damian personally spoke with Gothams bigger villains in Arkham explaining what happened and what Luthor is trying to do. Thanks to him Arkham is pretty much guaranteed no breakouts. In fact many were surprised to see henchmen from different villains joining in on the clean up. Kate also helps out working hard to get electricity back up and running with electricians  while making sure no down wires are active. Stephanie and Chloe are praised for getting out and helping the clean up crews as well as the police with finding bodys of missing citizens.

It takes over a year but the Wayne family, Marinette, and Chloe get Gotham back on its feet better than ever. And they use Luthor's abandonment of Gotham to get him impeached. After they've finally reopened Gotham to the rest of the states, Bruce throws a city wide party. He even sends special catering to Arkham asylum as thanks to the villains for not just remaining there but sending their henchmen out to help. 

Bruce gives a big thanks to everyone for all their help with rebuilding their beautiful city.

It's shortly after his speech Damian and Marinette are enjoying the small fair that Bruce paid for. They are walking through the game area sharing cotton candy when Damian gets lost in the moment and asks her to marry him. Marinette laughs pulling him into a deep kiss causing citizens around them to start cheering. She waits until they've quieted down before pulling back.

Marinette-Yes Damian, I'll marry you!

This causes citizens to burst into cheers again. All of them giving their cities power couple their congratulations. While Damian is embarrassed saying that he doesn't have a ring for her. Marinette just smiles and kisses him softly telling him not having a ring isn't a big deal because she would have said yes either way.

A few minutes later a soft spoken Hispanic woman exits her jewelry booth giving them two small rings.

The woman-This is for until he finally gets you one Miss. Free of charge, consider it a thanks for helping my city and a congratulations present. 

She squeezes both their hands smiling softly at the two and congratulates them before leaving them.

After the city party, they finally address Marinette and Chloe knowing their identities. It happens at Marinette's rebuilt penthouse. Marinette smiles telling them that it was the Kwami that really pointed it out to her. While Chloe tells them she caught Stephanie in her outfit one night and just pretended she had been asleep the entire time. Everyone but Alfred is confused about the Kwami until Marinette asks them to come out. The Kwami fly in spreading around the room, Duusuu sits calmly on Alfred's shoulder, Pollen resting herself in Chloe's hair, while Tikki and Plagg float by Marinette's shoulders.

Marinette-Let me introduce you to Kwami. Gods and Goddesses that grant their chosens their powers. Tikki and Plagg are the two most powerful Destruction and Bad Luck, Creation and Good Luck. I'm Tikki's chosen, I am-

Tim-Ladybug...you're Paris's missing heros.

Marinette sighs softly nodding thinking about her last day as Ladybug

Chloe- I was Honeywell for a short while until I moved to america. Pollen and I were a great team.

Pollen petting her hair gently-We were the best my Queen.

Marinette-Paris started relying on me for everything. The police stopped doing their jobs and when I finally defeated the villain that was plaguing them, it wasn't enough. I loved being a hero but they expected me to do everything. You all know that it isn't possible to do everything.

Bruce asks why she never went out as Ladybug. Marinette smiles and tells him that while she misses it she knew that this was Batman's city and that metas weren't allowed.

Marinette-I know technically I'm not one, but Tikki gives me powers.

After that Marinette begins to train with Bruce so that she can hit the streets with them, without the Miraculous. Chloe while learning how to fight with Stephanie declines becoming a vigilante with them. Marinette loves every second of it, she loves actually having a mentor to teach her. And it felt nice to have a father figure in her life once again. Six months later she is joining the family for her first night of patrol as BlackBird.

Blackbird spends most of her time with Batwomem, on patrol and missions. Her first big villain was Riddler, however before he could even utter a riddle Blackbird tore into him for his terrible outfit. To the point that Riddler practically threw himself at Batman in tears crying and telling him his new protégé was mean.

Blackbird is a rising hero in Gotham and the hero community. Soon she begins attending Justice League meetings with the others considering joining. It is there she meets Wonder Women, and asks how her mother is doing. Diana realizes quickly that she is speaking with a Guardian and finds out later that Blackbird is the current Ladybug as well.

The family also begins planning Damian and Marinette's public wedding and their private wedding. Stephanie is the one that asks her if she wants to have the private wedding in Paris, everyone only a little surprised she straight out refuses.

Marinette-I said goodbye all that time ago, and I don't think I wish to return.

That night she asks Bruce to walk her down the aisle along with her grandfather. When asked about her own parents Marinette smiles sadly telling them that they no longer consider her their daughter, so they were not invited. Bruce smiles softly brushing Marinette's hair down gently with his hand before agreeing to walk her. She asks Chloe to be her Maid of Honor and Kate, Cass, and Stephanie to be her Bridesmaid

Three weeks later they are sending out invites to people for their private wedding in 6 months and the public one in a year.

Marinette asks Jagged and Luka to be the entertainment for both nights and they agree. Sabine and Tom are not invited; they find out when Gina shows up excited asking why they never told her Marinette had met someone in America. They are even more surprised to find out Rolland is closing up shop and going to the wedding as well. Gina is upset to find out they kicked Marinette out and tears into them. At this point Lila comes into the bakery and tries to sway Gina onto her side. Gina just scoffs and shakes her head, telling her she'd never believe another girl over her granddaughter.

Gina storms out of the bakery refusing to talk to her son or daughter-in-law. After she leaves they google their daughter trying to find out who she is engaged to, they find out everything about Marinette helping rebuild Gotham out of her own pocket with the help of Bruce Wayne, and her engagement to Damian Wayne.

They try every attempt to contact her even going through old friends only to find she changed her number. They don't hear anything more of her until a year later when their wedding is broadcast from Gotham. Tom cries when Marinette is escorted down the aisle by her Grandfather and Bruce Wayne. She stops hugging them both tightly before taking Damian's hands, their eyes unable to leave each other, as they say their vows.

Marinette- Before I even had colleges lined up one of my best friends told me to follow the call. A few weeks later three colleges accepted me, but only one kept calling me back, Gotham University. I couldn't stop researching the city, I couldn't get it out of my head. It was like something was waiting for me here, so I decided to accept Gotham University. I moved here with one of my friends expecting an adventure. I didn't think my adventure would lead me to the love of my life, but it did. I love you Damian, with all my heart. My next adventure is standing by your side till the end of time.

Damian- Marinette Wayne, no I did not mess up. Marinette, you have been a part of my family since the moment you placed your hand on my shoulder and pointed out Mr. Tennor was about to be slapped. Our entire first night together felt magical as cheesy as it sounds. Every day after was amazing, I couldn't believe I met someone as amazing as you. When the earthquake happened and you stepped up helping my family rebuild the city, I knew I wanted you by my side for the rest of my life. So much so that I proposed to you spur of the moment in the middle of the fair, I will forever be grateful that you agreed to marry me. My heart, body, and soul belong to you and solely you Marinette till the end of time.

 When the priest pronounces them husband and wife and announces the kiss Marinette grabs his face gently pulling him down into a deep kiss.

The reception is also broadcast to the public with many famous people offering their congratulations to the happy couple to the camera before heading into the party. Marinette and Damian are the last to arrive and while they don't talk to the camera they stop posing together for the camera. Both unwilling to even leave the other side. Throughout the reception all the speeches are broadcasted. The final speech is from the newly married couple. Both of them thanking everyone that came to the wedding. Telling them that they wouldn't be where they were without their friends and family in the room. They share a sweet kiss in front of the crowd at the end of their speech.

Chloe moves into an apartment with Stephanie, while Damian moves into Marinette's penthouse. They are hardly seen separate from each other, pictures of them together are all over the internet and news.

Damian also leaves the title of Robin behind becoming Redbird becoming partners with Blackbird. The two partners are soon dubbed the new Dynamic Duo of Gotham.

They both graduate college together, Damian going into Wayne Enterprises taking over as Ceo with Tim when Bruce steps down. While Marinette built her own fashion empire soon rivaling Audrey's. Her fashion is known around the world, but out of all the cities the most of her sales come from Gotham. Gothamites still not forgetting the young adult that spent billions to help them rebuild.

Soon Marinette and Damian discover that Marinette is pregnant. The two are ecstatic to be parents, Marinette begs Bruce to hold a big family dinner with everyone, and he agrees. Halfway through dinner Bruce finally asks why Marinette called all of them together. Marinette smiles softly before announcing that she is pregnant.

The family burst into cheers, everyone extremely excited and talking with each other about what the baby's name would be.

A few months later they find out its twins. One boy and one girl. They agree on the names Thomas John Wayne and Mary Martha Wayne. This causes both Bruce and Dick to tear up when told.

When the twins are born they are all Gothamites can talk about. The new Wayne twins, everyone can't wait to watch them grow up.

In Paris their grandparents hold on to pictures they find online, knowing they'll never get to know them. That they'll never get to see their daughter again either.

[hyenahunt]

Conquest: Epilogue - 1

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt & haranami 

Nagisa: …I have still yet to become God, so all I’m able to do is sing and dance atop this stage and hope I bring even the smallest amount of happiness to everyone’s lives.

[Location: Conquest Stage]

Ibara: (At long last, the big day is finally upon us.)

(After the incident, Eve went on what can only be described as a rampage…)

(And, as per His Excellency’s orders, Adam carried out a vast array of jobs and a countless number of performances to keep up with them.)

(Consequently, His Excellency — who’s now gotten a taste for this “God Mode” or such — declared on TV that he would “expel” Jun and I as well if we didn’t obey him…)

(Amongst other inflammatory statements.)

(I was planning on following his every command, anyways; there was no need for him to resort to threats.)

(Although, I have devised a plan that would allow me to break away if worse came to worst…)

(But that will be much more difficult to execute now that he’s made such a grand, public declaration.)

(Aghhh, he’s so infuriating. What on earth is he planning? Why has he chosen to behave in such an unhinged manner—)

Nagisa: …Fufu. This is fun, Ibara.

…I was always jealous. To me, it seemed like you were the only one who got to do what you wanted.

Ibara: Saying that I was “the only one” doesn’t quite reflect reality.

Those ES idols have been following their every whim lately — Trickstar especially, although this can even apply to His Eminence Eichi now.

Nagisa: …Yes. What was it that they did… “Tempest Fest”? That looked like lots of fun as well.

…It seemed like a very important event to Eichi-kun, or perhaps the entirety of fine . So naturally, I wasn’t able to join at the last minute.

…Not even those who found the event pointless would enjoy watching someone ruin it with a smile on their face, after all.

Ibara: Yes, it’s exactly as you say.

In fact, I’m sure that the reason His Highness Hiyori was so enraged after hearing this plan was because he felt that his bond with you was being severed for the sake of mere entertainment.

It’s aaaall about feelings… Every last one of you just acts based on your feelings and nothing else! I, for one, am trying to actually work here.

Nagisa: …Yes. However, “work” and “torture” need not be synonymous; if we can enjoy the work we do, that is naturally preferable.

Ibara: If everyone started affirming and agreeing with that, this world would become one wherein no one would work if they didn’t feel like it, and the economy would collapse.

Modern society is but a castle of sand. It is only able to remain standing because we all devote our labor and money to it, distributing burdens amongst ourselves.

Nagisa: …That’s right. If only there were a God who’d be able to shoulder everything.

…I have still yet to become God, so all I’m able to do is sing and dance atop this stage and hope I bring even the smallest amount of happiness to everyone’s lives.

Nagisa: …I do not find that painful at all. On the contrary, it is a joy, and I am extremely fortunate to consider it so.

…Ever since I was a young child, completely ignorant of the ways of the world, that has always been how I’d understand and communicate with him.

Ibara: “Him”?

Oh, good ― you’re finally here.

Hiyori: ......

Jun: Heya. Sorry we wound up cutting it so close...

Ohii-san's been taking on a stupid amount of work, so he'd put off everything else and let it all pile up to the point it was getting crazy outta hand.

Hiyori: Hmph, I'll hold onto anything and everything as much as I please and whenever I please, thank you very much.

And if I can't, then it's your duty to carry it, Jun-kun, so basically the fact that we're starting late is on you.

Jun: Goddamn. Honestly, sometimes... it feels like you reached out to me all for the sake of getting me to lug your bags around.

Hiyori: Even if that were the case, the fact that you even caught my attention should be a reason to rejoice, no?

Hiyori: Be it a simple bag-carrier or anything else, I aspire to pick out only that which is beautiful and lovable.

Jun: (Mm~... As I thought, Ohii-san still seems to be in a bad mood.)

(He may be talking normally with me and all, but he won't even look in Adam's direction.)

(This is supposed to be the final performance of Conquest and he's still acting like this — it's really not looking good.)

(The plan was for Adam and Eve to stand side-by-side despite their apparent fallout, and sing all together as Eden—)

(As a grand finale where we reconcile with the power of song, or love, or something...? That's how the outline for this goes, anyway.)

(The only songs we've got prepared are four-person numbers, too.)

(So if he doesn't at least patch things back up before the start of the show, we're gonna have a real problem on our hands...)

Ibara: (—That’s likely what Jun is thinking at the moment.)

(After all, our fans online have decided to take baseless rumors as official information for some reason; they’re all rather riled up at the moment.)

(Adam and Eve will both strive to earn as much L$ as possible for the duration of this performance…)

(And the subunit who earns the most will gain the right to henceforth lead Eden.)

(Of course, we’d never make such a change in reality. We’re simply adjusting to how the general public is viewing this event.)

(Well, we could have simply declared the rumors false and ignored them completely.)

(But that would diminish the fans’ excitement; it would be a poor business strategy, and as such I’d prefer to avoid doing so.)

(There will be nothing to worry about if Adam ― if His Excellency ― wins. There would be no need to relinquish leadership.)

(But Eve got something of a head start, so it appears that they’ve got the edge over us, if only by a bit.)

(As such, there was another last-minute announcement.)

(We’ll have all the fans gathered here vote for either Adam or Eve, whoever they think gave a better performance.)

(The administration will be the ones to calculate the number of votes, so I can simply have them make up some figures arbitrarily in order to ensure Adam wins.)

(Adam and Eve are supposed to have a true confrontation here in order to reconcile, so this isn’t the smartest way to do things…)

(If the fact that we forged the numbers was found out, the public would lose all trust in us. There’s simply no other way, though ― I can’t think of any other feasible tactics.)

(This is but a necessary evil. That’s all it is.)

Hiyori: ......

Nagisa: ......

Ibara: (It appears that there’s still a rather frigid atmosphere between His Excellency and His Highness. I’m sure the audience will be able to believe this more than a forced reconciliation―)

✦✦✦✦✦

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[mostlycompetentwriter]

Pacemaker

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Bang Chan (SKZ)

Warnings: Let me be clear: this is a very dark narrative. I have lots of warnings for my readers, including explicit smut, vulgar language, toxic relationships, voyeurism, choking, sadism, smoking, and drinking.

Word Count: 8.2K

Genre: Sugar Daddy AU; Established Relationship

Summary: Y/N had made a lot of bad decisions throughout her life, but signing up for that stupid Sugar Daddy website? The worst of them all.

A/N: The title makes more sense in the end, but I can tell you that pacemaker’s are used to control arrhythmia's - and Seungmin might just function that way for the reader! Also, I’m really sorry for making Chan such an asshole.

Seungmin was a good best friend, even if he was determined to ruin his lungs with expensive cancer sticks. 

I had once tried to help him break the bad habit - stealing the cigarette boxes that he bought from the store and tossing them into the trash. But Seungmin made it rather difficult to break his addiction, and when I found him digging through the trash one evening, trembling fingers bringing the lighter up to his lips, I stopped trying to help him. And it might seem like a shitty thing for a best friend to abandon, but I was really tired of seeing my efforts die in vain when Seungmin made it loud and clear that he wasn’t willing to relent.

However, I was probably the worst person in the world to preach against his vices, especially when mine were far more consequential. Ironically, if I was to compare our biggest slights, then I might find a lot of similarities between our horrible habits. For instance, we were both prisoners to something toxic, and it was hard to push out those dark shadows when they had already snuffed out most of the light.

But at least Seungmin still had some control over his autonomy whereas I had allowed a single man to dictate every aspect of my existence. He decided the clothes that I would wear to his fancy office, and the things that I was allowed to do to my own person. He enacted so many rules that I could barely keep up with them, and he frequently reminded me that I was supposed to comply with whatever he demanded because I signed a foolish contract.

In the end, it was my fault for becoming so involved, but I could always rely on Seungmin for companionship when I felt another bout of existential dread. Because Seungmin was a good listener, and he made an effort to understand my problems even when he didn’t agree with my decisions. It was one of the things that I liked most about him, and I watched him with indifferent eyes as he stomped out his cigarette against the sidewalk.

Thereafter, his breath vaporized against the frigid air, and it was the only reminder that it was cold because my body had already grown numb to the sensation. “What happened this time?” Seungmin asked, raising a brow in question.

It was a deceivingly simple question because there was no straightforward answer that I could offer him in response. Instead, I shrugged while trying to collect my thoughts. Because I still wasn’t really sure how I felt about my latest rendezvous with him, but I knew for certain that it had affected me more than the other times.

“It was different,” I replied, and Seungmin nodded.

“Did he hurt you?” Seungmin asked.

“Yes, but not the kind of hurt that you’re thinking about,” I said. 

“Well, that’s still fucked up,” Seungmin said. “Tell me everything.”

Oh, but there was so much to tell him, and my mind instantly brought me back to the very beginning when I signed my name on a contract that promised so much only to deliver nothing but pain.

Six Months Ago

The worst decision of my life was predicated on my desperation for cash, and I was almost at the point where I would do anything to see another zero on my bank statement.

When I first moved to California, I had a lot of big dreams, and I was so excited to secure a scholarship to a highly-accredited University. It seemed that the world was finally on my side, and I left my home on the east coast to start a new life with more opportunities. Everything was going according to plan, and there was nothing preventing my success.

Except for me, of course. 

And it happened during the events of a single evening when I decided to attend a fraternity party on campus that my roommate recommended. The music was loud, the alcohol was unlimited, and any prior inhibitions had been thrown out the window much to my own detriment. I forgot all about my responsibilities, and I made one careless decision after another until I ended up in bed with a stranger.

I don’t even remember his name, but he was just one of the students who got busted by the police that night. Apparently, someone next door ratted us out, and they discovered a bunch of under-age students drinking alcohol without any supervision, including myself. But when the University found out, my scholarship was taken away, and my parents refused to send me extra money for tuition because they were determined to bring me back home.

But I wasn’t about to let one night ruin everything, and it was my roommate’s idea to suggest the stupid website. “It’s like a Sugar Daddy thing,” my roommate giggled. “All you have to do is sign-up, and then they’ll email you if there’s any interest.”

“Interest?”

“Well, they’ll probably want something from you in exchange for money.”

“How much money?”

“I guess that’s up to you to decide.”

Tragically, I was too desperate to consider the consequences, and I signed up without even thinking about the potential for disaster. And within a week, I got several emails from old misers offering me loads of cash in exchange for services that ranged from a private escort request to more explicit favors. But none of them stood out to me, especially in comparison to the young CEO who claimed to only be 28-years-old, but I could hardly believe his profile.

Still, I decided to entertain him, and I organized a meeting at a neutral location just in case anything funny happened. But I was still shocked to see the same man from the pictures waiting for me inside the coffee shop. And he was just as handsome as he appeared online: long, curly blonde hair, deep brown eyes, and a broad smile that took my breath away.

“Y/N?” he asked when I cautiously approached the table.

“Mr. Bang Chan?” I returned, and he laughed while rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to reveal strong, muscular arms.

“That’s me,” he said. “You can sit down if you want.”

“Of course,” I said, feeling rather foolish after standing there for so long. “I’m sorry, but I was really surprised because I honestly thought you might by lying about your age.”

“Why would you think that?” he asked, and I easily detected an accent carrying his words.

“Uh, considering the circumstances,” I said with a wince. “I feel like you could have any woman you want.”

“Oh?” Chan asked while raising one brow suggestively. “Maybe I just want you.”

“R-really?” I stuttered while wondering if I had made a good decision when I wore a skirt that afternoon. “You can probably tell that I’ve never done this before.”

“That’s alright,” Chan reassured me. “I don’t have much experience either.”

It seemed too good to be true - like there wasn’t any logical explanation for why this incredibly sexy businessman had signed up for some Sugar Daddy website when all he had to do was blink in my direction and I was already falling for him hard. “So, I guess you expect something from me.”

“I like how you do business,” Chan remarked. “We can skip all the formalities, then?”

“If you want,” I said, still feeling a bit sheepish as I glanced down at the table.

“From you, Y/N,” Chan continued. “I want a partner.”

“In what sense?” I asked. “Are you talking about something...sexual?”

“I’d really like that,” Chan said with a seductive smile. “But only if you’re interested.”

“Definitely,” I quickly agreed, throwing all caution to the wind as I surrendered to his ridiculous charisma.

“In return, you can have whatever you want,” Chan said. “Money isn’t an issue for me.”

“I really just need money for my tuition.”

“Is that all?” Chan scoffed as if he was in disbelief. “There’s got to be something else.”

I hesitated for a moment, wondering why it was so hard to ask him for those extravagances when the entire premise of our meeting rested on the basis of one exchange for another. “My apartment,” I said. “I plan to get a job in the future, but I’m struggling with rent.”

“Fuck the job,” Chan said. “I don’t mind paying your rent.” He smirked as he leaned back against the booth with a sigh. “I used to be a college student, Y/N, and I had problems paying for those things too.”

His attitude was nothing but nonchalant, and our terms were settled without a single complaint. Eventually, the deal was finalized when I met him later that evening at his lavish penthouse apartment, signing my name at the bottom of an exclusive contract that I hadn’t even taken the time to read. 

“It’s done,” Chan declared, and I watched his forearms bulge as he applied pressure to the official stamp. “We can have some fun together,” he added, and the look he gave me was nothing short of predatory. “Tell me, Y/N. Are you a virgin?”

“No, sir,” I said, watching him throw the contract aside onto the coffee table. 

“Good,” he purred while slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “Do you take birth control? I hate fucking with condoms.”

“Yes,” I whispered, and there wasn’t an ounce of shame in my entire being when I studied the hard planes of his upper torso once his chest was exposed to the room. 

Did I really just a sign a deal with a real-life Adonis?

“I’m gonna have a taste of that sweet cunt tonight,” Chan said, and one hand palmed himself over the front of his pants. “Bend over the couch for me, and keep your legs spread.”

“O-okay,” I agreed, hesitating because I wasn’t expecting him to move so fast, but I also knew that it was a foolish thought. What else should I have anticipated? There’s only one thing he wanted from me, and it’s not like it proceeded a romantic dinner or a long walk on the beach.

But it was still jarring to feel someone else’s hands on my hips - someone older and far more experienced. And his hands were proof of that confidence, perfectly assured in their motions as they drug my panties down my legs, fingers prodding against the folds of my labia. “You’re not wet enough,” Chan remarked, and I blushed because I was afraid that I had been doing something wrong. “We’ll just use lube.”

I flinched when I heard a loud POP! echo throughout the room when he opened a bottle from behind me. Then, I startled when something cold penetrated between my thighs because I wasn’t used to the overbearing sensation, and the flex of his fingers were incredibly thorough as they explored the private walls stretched around his intrusion. It felt nice, though, feeling him moving around, brushing against sensitive zones that had me moaning against the cushions.

“What a good slut,” Chan said, and I found myself whimpering at the derogatory term. “Let me use my cock instead.”

I gasped when his fingers disappeared in the middle of my approaching orgasm, leaving me clenching desperately for something to fill up the places that had left empty. But the sound of Chan shuffling out of his pants was reassuring, and he was nothing but teasing when he slid the head of his cock up and down my entrance. Spreading his pre-cum while prodding against me with the tip of his erection. 

If I hadn’t been wet before, then I was positively drenching from the surprisingly playful foreplay. “Please,” I whined, and he must’ve been feeling merciful since it was our first meeting because he pushed himself the rest of the way inside between my walls with a grunt. Satisfying that persistent ache which demanded some sort of satisfaction from the fat cock splitting me with every aggressive plunge against my g-spot.

“There we go,” Chan hissed, and his fingernails dug into my skin while he rolled my hips back onto his cock - repeating the motion with a sensual rhythm that was slow but fulfilling. Deep and full. Pounding into my hips with every thrust and chanting obscenities into the air while the smell of sex hit me with as much force as his thighs knocking against mine. “Feels so good around me.”

I moaned at his husky tone, and slid further down the armrest of the couch because my clit was rubbing deliciously against the furniture that he had bent me over, and I focused on the addicting friction and the impression of his cock drilling inside my pussy until I came with a loud moan. 

“Shit,” Chan cursed when I clenched even tighter around him, and the pleasure was like a dramatic rise - a climactic high - and I fell back into the moment with my heart pounding against my chest while Chan continued to plummet his cock into the stimulated entrance of my cunt before I felt his cum trickle down the inside of my legs. 

“Good girl,” Chan said, and he landed a sharp slap to my ass before he was walking out of the room, stuffing his cock back into his pants while I looked down at my hands and wondered what I was supposed to do next.

And several long minutes passed before I realized that Chan wasn’t coming back, and I tried to ignore the sensation of his cum drying on my skin as I pulled my skirt back on over my sore hips. 

Is this how it would be every time? 

I grimaced at the thought, but I knew it was still a better alternative than returning home to my disappointed parents. Because Chan would at least help me stay in school, and he wasn’t really asking for that much in return. 

Right?

But my heart was aching when I left his penthouse around midnight, returning to the shared apartment with my roommate and slinking into the shower while doing my best to remain quiet. Unfortunately, my thoughts were starting to become more rampant - louder than the prevailing silence - and I couldn’t stop thinking about the encounter with Chan. Because it was the second time that a random stranger had fucked me without consideration, and I would never forget how I felt in that moment, scalding my skin under hot water while scrubbing insistently with my fingernails scratching across my arms.

And I went to sleep that night thinking about the future for the first time since I lost my scholarship. For instance, how long would I have to keep doing this? Can it really end after my graduation?

Needless to say, I was unable to reacquaint myself with the familiar comforts of sleep, and I woke-up the next morning feeling like a much weaker version of myself. It was both a literal and metaphorical description for my current state of mind and physical being, and I forced myself to endure my regular routine so that I could leave for class on time.

But even as I was starting to feel better again, savoring the cool air of the morning as I walked through campus, everything was ruined when I received an unanticipated phone call from Chan around lunchtime:

“Can you come into my office today?” Chan asked, and I checked my watch.

“I can be there in twenty minutes.”

“Perfect,” Chan said, and I hung up the phone before jogging to the bus stop.

The Voyeur

Chan’s office building was extravagant, and I had trouble finding his company because it seemed like there was no end to the numerous corridors. Thankfully, a polite worker was willing to steer me in the right direction, and I greeted Chan’s secretary with a nervous exhale of my name.

“He’s waiting for you inside,” she said with a bright smile. “But make sure to lock the door behind you.”

“Oh, sure,” I said, puzzled by the strange request, but I entered the room with a dismissive shrug, glancing back to turn the lock before stumbling in my steps when I realized that someone who was not Chan stood in the middle of the room.

He was a younger associate, and his hair was slicked back with some kind of product as he observed me with the faintest hint of a smirk. “You must be Chan’s newest plaything.”

I gasped at the stranger’s words. “Chan-” I attempted to call for him, but cold fingers wrapped themselves around my throat in warning.

“Shhh,” Chan whispered into my ear, and I trembled when one of his hands went down to the waistband of my skirt. “You’re right on time, Y/N.”

“Sir,” I said, trembling when he found my clit through the fabric, applying rough circles with a growl.

“Go sit on top of the desk for me,” Chan said. “Take off your skit and panties.”

“But there’s someone else-”

“Did you not hear me?” Chan interrupted, and there was an intimidating warning in his eyes that I found myself unable to ignore.

“Yes, sir,” I said in compliance, and I tried not to think about the situation unfolding in front of me. Instead, I carefully walked around the unfamiliar man without making eye contact, even though his gaze was focused on me the entire time. “Is this what you wanted me to see?” the newcomer asked, and I startled at the sound of his voice as I slipped out of my clothes.

“I think she’s your type,” Chan said, and he nonchalantly strolled through the room with his hands tucked into his pockets. “This is what you like, Jisung? Sit back and relax.”

Jisung pursed his lips as he found a comfortable position on one of the futons, and I gasped when I realized that he had unzipped his pants, fishing out his cock while casually stroking the full length of his erection, gaze fixed on the place where Chan was standing in front of me.

“Bend over, whore,” Chan growled, and I turned around in an instant, shivering when he forced my legs to spread even further apart, applying pressure to my lower back as I arched even higher for him. “Have you ever seen a prettier cunt?”

“Finger her for me,” Jisung requested, and I closed my eyes when Chan penetrated three fingers inside at once. Because it was a distant shout from his treatment the previous night, and I found myself enduring the pain from being aggressively handled. 

“Is this to your satisfaction?” Chan asked, and he was moving lightning fast, thrusting his fingers so fast that my body wasn’t sure how to process the rapidly growing pressure building with every curl of his wrist.

“Fuck her then,” Jisung said, and I could hear the slick sound of his hand moving on his cock to match the pace of Chan’s motions inside of me.

“No problem,” Chan said, and his cock replaced his fingers with one harsh plunge, forcing my hips to collide with the side of his desk as he started an unrelenting pace, hands holding tight to my waist as he treated me as nothing more than his personal cock-sleeve.

My pleasure wasn’t a concern, and I could tell because he never once asked me if I was feeling good. Instead, he panted like a dog into my ears, groping along my chest while rolling his hips up into mine - grinding his cock as deep as he could manage. 

“Chan...” I trailed off at one point because there would surely be bruises once he was done with me.

“Is there a problem, Y/N?” he asked, and I quickly shook my head even as he started thrusting even harder, forcing his cock even deeper inside my gaping core - brushing against previously untouched places that awakened something almost feral.

“No, sir,” I managed, choking around a moan when his fingers tightened around my throat again.

“He likes to watch,” Chan whispered, slowing down to a sensual grind while he spoke to me. “It gets him off every time.”

“I didn’t know,” I said in return, even though no response was really warranted.

Especially when Chan leaned back once again, picking up from where he had left off from before, and there was a stuttered hiccup to the way he moved - like he was nearing his own breaking point. His fingers curled themselves into my hair, forcing my head to the side to meet Jisung’s unwavering gaze.

“Jisung,” Chan said, and the voyeur himself looked up at the two of us with lust reflecting in his eyes. “Is it everything you wanted?”

“Keep going,” Jisung simply said in return, and Chan was laughing in the moments preceding his orgasm, spilling his seed between my convulsing walls before pulling out with a groan.

“You did good, Y/N,” Chan said, and he reached down for my discarded skirt.

Meanwhile, I glanced around Chan to see Jisung reaching for the tissue box on the table. “Thank you for the show, Mr. Bang.” Jisung said, and he cleaned off his cock before tucking himself back into his jeans.

The Sadist

That unexpected situation should’ve been the first and only sign required for me to break off the engagement with Bang Chan, but I was starting to grow addicted to the ostentatious gifts that he sent me.

Because on that same afternoon, I returned to my apartment to find a brand new SUV waiting for me outside my complex. It was the newest model, and my roommate was hysterical with excitement as she jumped around the front lawn and told me all about how a random man had brought the car to our apartment asking for me. 

“I don’t know who you’re seeing,” my roommate remarked. “But if he keeps doing this kind of thing...”

“Yeah,” I agreed with a faint smile, and there was still an active part of me that thought I could put up with Chan if it meant receiving things like this in return.

Plus, I somehow deluded myself into thinking that everything was fine, and I guess my lectures on argumentative writing must’ve worked too well because I convinced my stubborn brain to endure the arrangement for a little while longer. 

It also helped that Chan hadn’t spoken to me much in the week following our little date in his office, and I was able to forget about the encounter with Jisung. Plus, my tuition was paid, my bank account was full, and there were always expensive things allowing me to take advantage of a lavish lifestyle.

It was hard to argue against the current trajectory of my situation, but there was still a painful reminder of its price when Chan eventually called me the following Friday with another request:

“I’m having a guest over tonight,” Chan said. “And you’re the entertainment.”

I swallowed hard at his brusque tone. “Entertainment?”

“It’s nothing to worry about,” Chan reassured me, and I could only process his words while the dial tone played in the background.

But maybe I could handle the addition of a guest, especially if it was just Jisung or someone watching again. That hadn’t been so bad, and the worst part was the initial shock of seeing another man in the same room. 

Maybe I was just overreacting, and this would be a regular night where Chan would fuck me in his bed and I would limp home and sleep on the brand new satin comforter he had bought for me.

Unfortunately, my initial enthusiasm was dulled when I knocked on the door to Chan’s penthouse, and he answered my summons with another man lingering in the background. But the other man wasn’t Jisung, and a single chill rolled down my spine when Chan’s guest turned around to look at me for the very first time. “You’re early,” Chan said with a pleasant smile. “We were just pouring ourselves some drinks.”

“That sounds nice,” I said, allowing Chan to take my coat before he led me into the living room.

“This is my associate, Lee Minho,” Chan said, nodding in the direction of the freshly identified man who was unreasonably handsome as he sat down across the room.

“The pleasure is mine,” Minho said with a smirk, and I had no words to match his arrogance, but Chan pulled me into his lap and I took some strange comfort from his embrace.

“Minho and I have been friends for years.”

“What a tragedy,” Minho remarked, and the simple jest was met with a chuckle from Chan who wrapped an arm around my waist.

“He was really excited to meet you as well.”

“Especially after listening to Jisung run his mouth,” Minho said, and I froze at the mention of the other man because that was the moment when everything started to plummet, and I could see the change in Minho’s gaze as he lowered his eyes to my chest.

“Can I see her tits?” Minho asked, holding his glass of scotch in one hand while the other disappeared down the front of his pants.

“Of course,” Chan said, and he didn’t seem to care at all about his friend’s vulgar request, pulling me back against his chest as his fingers worked apart the buttons on my blouse. “She doesn’t mind. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

I shook my head, paralyzed by Minho’s impenetrable gaze as he inhaled sharply when Chan removed the shirt from my arms. “Those are nice.”

“Aren’t they?” Chan agreed, and his fingers tweaked my nipples. But I shivered at the pressure, nearly jumping in his lap from the sudden stimulation as his thumbs rolled across the hardening buds.

“You ever fucked them before?” Minho asked, parting his lips around the rim of his glass.

“No,” Chan said, and his tone reflected his disappointment. “I guess I’ll have to try that in the future.”

“They’re a good size,” Minho remarked, and I couldn’t help but feel humiliated because they were talking about me in such a vulgar manner - like I was just a piece of meat on display for them.

“I like her tits,” Chan agreed. “But I think her ass is my favorite.”

Minho scoffed at that. “Isn’t that always your preference?”

“Why do you think I like fucking her from behind?” Chan laughed, and Minho smiled before draining the rest of his alcohol.

“Where did you get her?” Minho asked, and I watched as he removed his expensive suit jacket.

“Do you remember that website Jisung showed me?” Chan smirked. “It’s probably the best idea that he’s ever had.”

“Mhmm,” Minho agreed, and his lecherous eyes continued to openly stare at my breasts. “Has Changbin seen her yet?”

“No,” Chan said, and then he sighed. “I’m afraid to introduce them.”

“She’s exactly his type,” Minho remarked. “He’ll want to fuck her for sure, and I doubt you’ll tell him no.”

“He’s convincing,” Chan said, and he smirked while his lips pressed wet kisses against my neck and his hands massaged my breasts. “What would you want to do with her?”

“Me?” Minho chuckled, and his dark eyes were appraising. “I’d probably fuck her mouth, and then maybe cum on her tits.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Chan said, and then he was shoving against me from behind. “Get on your knees,” Chan growled into my ear, and I shivered at the guttural sound before falling from his lap and into the floor.

Meanwhile, Minho continued to watch me while stroking his cock, tongue darting out to wet his lower lip. “Is this an invitation?”

“Take her mouth,” Chan said, and he reached out for his discarded glass of brandy. “I don’t think she’ll mind.”

Minho smirked in response, and he pulled the occupied hand from his pants long enough to stand up from the couch, taking another step forward until his crotch was level with my face. “Is that true, little girl?” Minho asked, and I held my tongue when his fingers traced across my lips. “Do you want to suck my cock?”

I could feel Chan’s eyes on me, and I knew better than to disobey. “Yes,” I whispered, and Minho closed his eyes around a groan.

“Channie picked a good little cocksucker,” he said, and he quickly undid his pants, pulling them down his thighs along with his boxers. I inhaled when his cock was freed from the confines of his underwear, slapping against his stomach with a bead of pre-cum waiting on the tip. “Go ahead,” Minho said. “Let’s see what you can do for me.”

I swallowed hard, and I decided to start with a few strokes of his hardening erection - feeling the length of him under my hand because I knew that it would be painful to fit him inside my mouth. “Don’t tease,” Chan said, and I shivered at his harsh tone.

“I’m sorry,” I said, and I decided not to waste another moment before I was parting my lips around the head of Minho’s cock, tasting the gathered pre-cum on his tip. It was bitter because it was overwhelming, and my jaw was already aching as I hollowed my cheeks and tried to prevent my teeth from scraping across the sensitive underside of his erection.

“Harder,” Minho growled, and he reached down to grab fistfuls of my hair while forcing the remainder of his cock down my throat - triggering my gag reflex with the sudden motion. 

“I guess she’s not used to it,” Chan remarked - like it wasn’t a big deal that I could barely breathe around the intrusion, and spit was dripping from my lips as he proceeded to use me like I was nothing more than a warm space to fill with his cock.

“I’ll teach her for you,” Minho said, but it wasn’t a kindness to feel the tip of his cock hit the soft palate of my mouth, dragging between my lips as he ground his hips while moaning around a curse. 

But I still tried my best, sucking at the skin and using my tongue to trace against the ridges. I also kept my hands firmly behind my back, trying my best not to reach out for his thighs because I was afraid that he wouldn’t appreciate the feeling of my nails digging into my skin. Not that he seemed to be extending the same courtesy - fucking my mouth with loud grunts and tugging on my hair with enough force that my scalp was screaming for me to intervene.

“Does it feel good?” Chan asked.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Minho said, and his eyes were glossy from the alcohol settling into his system and the approaching orgasm which I could taste as I tried my best to swallow around him.

And it was almost disorienting when he pulled himself free, keeping one hand in my hair while the other stared to stroke the length of his erection with rapid jerks. “Look at me,” Minho growled, and I forced my gaze to meet his own. “I’m gonna cum on your tits,” Minho snarled, twisting my hair as I did my best to nod around the impossible hold.

“Shit, that’s hot,” Chan whispered, and I closed my eyes when Minho finally came, spraying his hot cum across my chest as his thighs trembled from the effort.

“Damn,” Minho said, and he took a strategic step back to survey me from afar. “She looks better this way.”

“I definitely agree,” Chan said, but I only felt disgusting as I sat there on my knees with their eyes observing my wilted figure. 

The Participant

For an entire week after my encounter with Minho, every time I spoke, or did something as simple as drink or eat with my friends, I was reminded of him. 

It wasn’t necessarily the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and I couldn’t deny that there was a small part of me that had been aroused at the idea of Minho’s rough treatment. But the problem emerged from the lack of disclosure from Chan because he seemed to take impressive liberties with the contract. And I didn’t mind having sex with the older man since I gave him my full consent, but these surprises that he sprung on me when I wasn’t expecting them? I wasn’t entirely happy about those.

In fact, the more that I thought about the incident with both Minho and Jisung, the more infuriated I became, and I couldn’t help the brusque tone that I used to greet Chan over the phone when he randomly contacted me the following weekend.

“Someone’s having a bad day,” Chan said, and I didn’t appreciate his accompanying laughter. 

“It’s just my classes,” I offered as a response, pinching the bridge of my nose to try and prevent an oncoming headache.

“I hope it’s not too bad because I’d like for you to meet me in the office,” Chan said, and I agreed without really thinking about the consequences. Because the last time I went to Chan’s office, I found myself being fucked on top of his desk with an executive watching in the background.

But I guess this was what I had literally signed up for, and Chan couldn’t possibly know that I hated our most recent encounters because I still wasn’t able to find the confidence to tell him. And maybe it was better this way since our arrangement was nothing but a superficial agreement between two consenting adults - we were both getting something out of it, and I didn’t want to risk losing the invaluable funding that he sent to my stunningly healthy bank account.

Instead, I put on my best smile for him when I walked into his office, greeting him at his Secretary’s desk as she offered me a courteous welcome. Does she know what’s going on? I wondered to myself when Chan took my hand and led me to the giant executive desk where he worked.

He chuckled when he patted his lap, and I dropped my bag onto the floor before dropping myself down between his strong thighs. “There you are,” Chan said with a smirk, tracing the pout of my lips with his thumb. “You look sexy today.”

“Thank you,” I said, and I hated to sound so timid in front of him, but he was still beyond intimidating, and I never knew what to expect from someone who continued to surprise me.

“I’ve missed you,” Chan said, and I hesitated when his hands found the hem of my t-shirt, crawling along the skin of my torso to hold me in place. “Last time was really fun.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, but it wasn’t very convincing. Thankfully, Chan didn’t seem to notice, and he brought me in for a sloppy kiss so that I could taste the mouth wash on his tongue.

“Let’s take a walk around the office,” Chan said, and I agreed because it seemed relatively normal in comparison to what he usually asked from me.

It was also startling domestic to hold his hand as he walked me through the maze of cubicles, talking about taxes and the stock market and whatever else he found interesting. In response to most of his conversation, I found myself nodding because I couldn’t comprehend his big text jargon or the complicated explanation when it involved his return on investment numbers.

“How about some lunch?” Chan suggested, and I agreed even though my stomach had twisted itself into knots during the ride over here.

However, when Chan reached out to hit the button to call for the elevator, he paused when he made eye-contact with someone walking out of the conference room. He sighed as he turned me around. “This is awkward,” Chan said, and I noticed that the tips of his ears were bright red. “I may have shown Changbin some pictures of you and....” Chan trailed off with a smile. “He really liked what I showed him.”

“Changbin?” I questioned, and Chan jerked his head to the side to indicate the exceedingly handsome gentleman who was lingering outside of the conference room with his eyes glued in our direction.

“Changbin really likes you,” Chan whispered, smiling as he allowed one hand to fall down and palm my ass.

I heard a sharp intake of breath, and I felt my entire face flush when I realized that it had come from Changbin. He was brazenly eye-fucking me from where he was standing, and I couldn’t even imagine the dirty thoughts running through his mind.

“He wants to fuck you,” Chan continued as if we were having a conversation about something as casual as the weather. “And I kinda want to see him pound this little pussy.”

He then audaciously cupped the heat between my legs and I squirmed around in his arms because we were in public. “What are you doing?” I asked, and there was every reason to panic when anyone could see us like this - when Changbin was already looking at us like we were incredibly interesting.

“He’s got a really big cock,” Chan added like that was supposed to convince me. “But I know that you’ll do it for me, right?”

I hesitated at his request, glancing back over my shoulder at Changbin who was still watching the two of us with a predatory gaze. “When?”

“Tonight,” Chan said before pressing a surprisingly gentle kiss to my lips. “I’ll have something nice sent to your apartment. Wear it for us, won’t you?”

“Of course,” I agreed, and the response sounded robotic even to my own ears.

True to his word, Chan had sent over a rather scandalous pair of lingerie to my apartment - a matching set of underwear that included a red thong and delicate bralette with lace elegantly lining the comfortable padding. There was also a very short black shirt in the package and a thin camisole which wasn’t meant to cover much of me. And I grimaced at my reflection in the mirror when I realized that I looked like someone out of Chan’s wet dream.

But instead of walking through campus with such an appearance, I had wrapped my scantily-clad form in a long coat when I greeted Chan that night outside of his apartment, hoping that he wouldn’t question my desire to ride the bus in something more appropriate for public viewing. But maybe he was too turned on to scold me, dragging me inside his apartment and closing the door before opening the front of my coat.

“Fuck,” he growled when he saw me in my outfit. “You look so good in this.”

“Thank you,” I whispered in return, and Chan tossed aside my coat while reaching down for my hand.

“There’s no reason to delay tonight’s fun,” he commented. “Changbin’s already waiting in the bedroom,” he said.

I swallowed hard the mention of the other man, trying to piece together my disorganized thoughts when Chan invited me inside the lavish bedroom that was the exact same size as my entire apartment. But I also wasn’t surprised by the ostentatious reminder of his tremendous wealth, especially when I realized that there was someone waiting inside just as Chan had promised. The same man from earlier at the office was sitting in a chair near the corner of the room, dressed in his work suit and looking at me from beneath a fringe of blonde hair while his fingers tightened around his whisky glass.

“You were so patient, Bin,” Chan remarked as he reached down to remove his shirt. 

“I think she’s worth it,” Changbin replied, and I tried not to squirm too much under his impenetrable gaze.

“What do you think of her outfit?” Chan asked, and he smirked while squeezing my ass through the skit.

“I’d rather see what’s underneath,” Changbin said, and his attitude was so nonchalant that I couldn’t deny that a small part of me was attracted to his eagerness.

“That can be arranged,” Chan agreed, and I held perfectly still as he removed my tank top before jerking my skirt down my thighs. 

He didn’t even need to tell me to step out of the offending piece of fabric, sliding it across the floor as I stood in front of Changbin in nothing more than the skimpy lingerie that Chan had chosen for me. “Damn,” Changbin grumbled, and one hand slid down his chest before settling on top of the obvious bulge in his pants.

“Shall we start?” Chan grinned, and I watched as he walked over to the bed to make himself more comfortable on top of the mattress before holding out his arms for me. “Come here, Y/N.”

I nodded, crawling over the silken sheets while Chan whispered compliments into the silent bedroom. “She’s so fucking hot,” Changbin remarked, and I held my breath when Chan used his raw strength to turn me around - bringing my back flush against his chest as one arm wrapped itself across my chest. I shivered in response to his impressive muscles, pressing myself even closer to him while his other hand crept down to remove my panties

“Look at this,” Chan whispered, ripping the fabric and exposing my bottom half for Changbin’s eyes. “Such a pretty cunt.”

Changbin inhaled sharply at the exposed skin, and he stood from the chair to walk over the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes because he was shameless, palming his erection over his pants while his eyes glued themselves between my thighs. “Spread her legs for me.”

Chan nodded, and I could feel the way his fingers parted the wet folds of my labia before he drug his thumb along my sensitive clitoris. 

“Oh, fuck,” Changbin growled, and his eyes were bright with lust as Chan continued to tease my throbbing sex while mouthing kisses against my throat.

“Do you see something you like?” Chan asked his friend as if the question was even necessary.

“Let me fuck her, Chan,” Changbin snarled, and I watched as he unzipped his suit pants before dropping them to the floor along with his boxer shorts, fisting his cock in one hand while the other worked at the buttons on his shirt. 

“I don’t know...” Chan trailed off with a teasing tone. “I’m not really in the mood to share.”

“We both know that's a lie,” Changbin said with a humorless laugh. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

I bit my tongue to hold back a moan when one of Chan’s fingers penetrated my tight walls, putting on a show for Changbin as he maintained eye contact with his business partner. It was like they were engaged in some sort of competition over me, and I was melting from Chan’s ministrations, feeling him move around with his fingers curling against all the right spots. He also started to scissor his fingers to stretch me out in preparation for whatever else might happen, and Changbin whimpered as he continued to stroke his hand up and down the impressive length of his throbbing cock. 

“I guess you can have it,” Chan said, and I yelped when he shoved me off his lap, tossing his legs over the side of the bed. “Hands and knees,” Chan barked, slapping my ass for good measure before he walked over to the same chair in the corner of the room. “You’ll be a good slut for Changbin.”

I whimpered at the rough treatment, and I tried to avoid Changbin’s gaze as I positioned myself on the center of the bed, dropping down onto my forearms while I raised my ass high in the air. I was breathing hard against the sheets, feeling my pulse skyrocket when the bed dipped beneath Changbin’s weight as he mounted me from behind. 

“Are you ready for me?” he asked, and I shook my head when he started to grope my ass, pulling apart my cheeks as his fingers prodded against the dripping entrance to my cunt. “Say my name, slut!”

I nearly screamed from the force of the slap he landed on my ass, and I took a deep breath to manage the pain. “Please, Changbin,” I sniffled, and there was nothing but blinding hot pleasure when he rubbed the tip of his cock up and down my slit.

However, he wasn’t nearly as patient as Chan, and I was shaking around the abrupt intrusion of his cock. He also wasn’t gentle, holding my hips with a bruising grip before he fucked his cock inside my wet heat, leaving me no room to breathe before he was driving his hips against mine like there wasn’t enough time in the world to split me open for him. “Shit,” Changbin hissed, and I was powerless when he shoved my face down into the pillows, forcing me back into an even deeper arch. 

“Play nice, Bin,” Chan said, and I could barely spot him from the corner of my eye. “You know I don’t like it when you break my toys.”

“Can’t help it,” Changbin grunted, and I could feel the fat head of his cock brushing against my cervix. 

“She feels good right?” Chan asked, and I finally located him, following his voice to see that he was rubbing his erection through the tented fabric of his pants.

“Her cunt is tight,” Changbin agreed, and he wasn’t even thrusting anymore; instead, he was manhandling me up and down his cock, slamming his hips against mine and filling the room with the sounds of wet slaps and crude moans as he chased his own pleasure.

He was fucking me like a madman, breath hot on the back of my neck. Everything was fast and hard, and the sound of the headboard hitting the wall was especially loud. “Fuck,” Changbin muttered, and I thought he might be slowing down, but he just adjusted his grip and set a brutal pace and fucked me even harder.

It was all too much, and I wasn’t expecting to come, but when he lifted one of my legs for a better angle, I felt a sudden wave of arousal drip around Changbin’s thick erection because he was scraping across my G-spot with every stroke. I moaned at the direct stimulation, and it felt like there was an impossible pressure building at the center of my abdomen, stretching and stretching until my vision nearly blacked out from the intensity of my orgasm.

“Yes!” Changbin groaned when I inadvertently squeezed around his cock even tighter, providing enough pressure to trigger his own orgasm. And I could feel his warm cum as it decorated the cavern of my pussy, escaping the place where we were connected with a squelching sound when he eventually pulled out.

“What a mess,” Chan groaned.

“Such a good little whore,” Changbin purred, reaching down to stuff his cum back inside where it belonged. I whined at the over-stimulation, but Changbin growled in response and slapped my ass hard. “I want one more round,” Changbin declared, leaving me lying on the bed as he rolled over to the side. 

“Sure,” Chan agreed, and I felt his hand soothing along the side of my face as he wiped away my tears. “How long do you need to get it back up, old man?”

“Shut up,” Changbin muttered. “Give me ten minutes.”

‘Well, that’s all I need,” Chan remarked, and I whimpered when he took his turn to mount me from behind, twisting his fingers into my hair as he slid his cock inside with one hard thrust, grinding his hips in long, sensual circles while whispering the filthiest words into my ears.

Present

It wasn’t very much like me to reveal all those intimate secrets, but something about Seungmin’s presence was safe and comforting. “What an asshole,” Seungmin remarked, discarding a fresh cigarette that he hadn’t even bothered lighting before returning his attention to me. “You deserve so much better than him.”

“He pays for everything,” I said. “He pays for my tuition, and he sends checks for the rent...”

“So?” Seungmin scoffed. “I can help you get a job at the diner where I work. You can make enough money to pay for those things without him.”

“It’s just so hard...” I broke off with a sudden exclamation, and my emotions were spilling out despite my attempts to suppress them, holding Seungmin even closer by the collar of his jacket as I sobbed into his shoulder. “He owns me.”

“No, he doesn’t, Y/N,” Seungmin said with a firm tone. “Do you understand me?”

I shook my head. “I signed a contract!”

“Every contract has a loophole,” Seungmin said. “And I’m sure it expires at some point, or you can negotiate your way out of the terms!”

“He’s a businessman,” I argued. “There’s no way I can win.”

“Not with that attitude,” Seungmin said with a fierce look. “You’re not alone, Y/N. I’ll even help you figure out how to leave him, but that’s what you need to do because this relationship is not good for you!”

“I kept telling myself that I didn’t care,” I whispered, sighing when Seungmin carded his fingers through my hair. “I guess I cared too much.”

“It’s alright,” Seungmin said, holding me close as he spoke reassurances into my stubborn ears.

“I’m scared, Seungmin,” I told him, and he nodded.

“I’ll give you all my strength,” he promised, and the sincerity of his words triggered a fresh wave of tears, and I cried while thinking about the difficult situation that I found myself in. 

The idea of Chan’s arrangement had once been enchanting because everything he promised seemed like a dream come true. But the reality was nothing short of a nightmare. And I was suddenly desperate to escape.

[thebestsandiever]

Regarding the chaos and aftermath of the Verstappen crash at the 2021 British GP

Before I begin, this is solely my own thoughts on the crash and aftermath of it, resources and intel being from various news reports, articles, interviews, social media reactions/on track fans reactions, commentators, careers etc. Also important, this post was made around 11 PM CEST, so other news after that or in the midst of this, I haven’t considered.

  Comments and discussions are welcome, though remember to keep the tone guys. I rarely comment on anything on Tumblr, but looking at this chaos, I felt like sharing a bit.

  Starting on the incident that happened, I don’t believe that I can clearly decide what happened and who caused, and the only comments I have is that I believe it was a racing incident that has no bad intention. We hear in conclusion from sources (there was an after analysis) (e.g. also Lewis’ Sky Sports interview) that both could have given each other space. Lewis trying to get in, and Max defending his position. People who think Lewis did it intentionally clearly have no common sense, no one wants Max to end up going to the hospital (but he is fine so no worries). Of course, nothing excuses that a crash happened, and it’s a big shame.

  All the hate Lewis is getting should tone down, I think it’s fair to be critical in perspective of racing which consists of the crash and his comments regarding it, but anything that comments on something other than that with negativity, shouldn’t be.

  Something that many F1 fans have brought up and Horner I believe (slightly) is Lewis 15+ years of experience in Formula one and numerous of championships. Which I think in any sport or topic isn’t a fair argument, because mistakes happen to anyone, no one is immune to that, though this is not me calling the crash a mistake, because I don’t believe that is the right word. It’s more Lewis knowing the danger of closing in and Max of course defending himself on track, and this is the end result. And if anyone was a viewer of the Euro 2020 Football Cup Finals, it’s a bit like the Southgate criticism on the penalties.

  This also applies to all the fans who bring up Max’ aggressive and old nickname “crashstappen” from his early F1 career. Whether you have your impression from Netflix’ Drive to Survive or the fact that you’re new, anyone will agree that Max has matured greatly both on and off track, in my opinion one of the calmest drivers on the grid considering the amount of criticism, hate and burden that he gets/has. The fact is that there have been some people on Twitter (when I now and later comment on fans and reactions, it’s usually the very chaotic Twitter), that mentions Verstappen’s past, the infamous Baku and this season’s races where Lewis is the one who, in their words, “has backed up and gave space” (the reason I say their words is because I can’t quite remember so I won’t say that I know for sure). But again, as I mentioned, this is not valid, because it doesn’t excuse what happened today. Every track is a title fight, and previous races and tactics doesn’t apply to this. What I mean is that because Lewis gave space previous races, does it mean that Verstappen should crash? Or worded differently, because Max didn’t give space like he has previous times, that “it was coming” or that he should crash? Biggest takeaway from this is that past and future shouldn’t mean more than what happened in the present. This leading me on to a bit of the hate Max got which I think was quite undeserving, especially under his circumstances, which is f1 fans (mostly Twitter) calling it “karma” and using his young past to somehow “justify” the crash.

Also I really disliked the videos of “British fans” (we can’t actually determine that all were British, but it was home track) cheering when the crash happened, but in general I think cheering on a crash will always be awful even if you’re favourite driver gains position. Gladly though, it quickly died down on the stands as they realized it was hard impact. Very Euro 2020 vibes, though a much better English crowd- Just kidding, maybe you can see I’m not happy when any kind of fans act out of order (also I don’t hate English football fans, but sadly, the ones who make stupid actions overshadow the rest).

  Now I also want to comment a bit on the drivers and teams’ comments and the PR.

  So regarding Max’ social media post about the race. I honestly think it’s fair for him to be upset, no one wants to be taken out on the first lap considering that he is leading while a VERY good and competitive Lewis is trailing behind. My first reaction was that it was quite an aggressive post and the part about him unfollowing Lewis (if that is correct, I haven’t seen it myself yet) was obviously implying that he isn’t happy. Though, emotions run high as well does Lewis’ celebration reaction. I know his mind is to win on track and he has always been outspoken about that fact. Also I don’t quite believe that Max’ comments were full heartedly himself, but the PR team considering he’s just been at the hospital. I’m not happy with his post at all, but I understand both from a PR perspective and a driver’s. I believe almost any driver on the track would have said something like that in an interview if it happened to them. This just happened to be online because of health circumstances.

  Regarding Marko and Horner, I must disagree with their aggressiveness or at least the way they decide to comment on it. I do understand the anger, considering the championship but also concern for Max (anyone who knows their relationship knows that they care about him.) Again, I have to say emotions run high and if anything, managers are good at, and this is not specifically only attacking Horner, but it’s stirring up tension. I would say it’s fair for him to say, and quite expected, not saying I think it’s fair for Lewis to receive though (hopefully you get what I mean).

  Commenting a bit on Lewis’ Sky Sports F1 interview, we can confirm he didn’t know about Max going to the hospital before celebrating. Anyone who wins has the right to celebrate, especially at home, so props for his win, though unfortunately through a crash (this meaning Verstappen was his biggest threat on track). Though I wasn’t pleased about the commenting on Max. This leads further into the interview.

  We get Lewis’ insight on the incident and where he sees Max as the aggressive one, both not giving each other space and having the crash as end result. So in conclusion, Max trying to defend his position and Lewis trying to get in, fair. Please watch the interview, because it clears up a lot of what is spoken about in the media.  

My thoughts on Lewis’ response both before and after hearing about Max going to the hospital in the Sky Sports interview, is that he probably could’ve/should’ve toned down on Max being the aggressor, as they were both considering what the crash led to, and him saying that it was just about who was going to give space until it was too late. It kind of goes against what he just said. But I do agree that Lewis has the right to celebrate because he simply won. I also liked that he had championship spirit saying that considering what happened, it didn’t take the shine away from his win. It may sound disrespectful, and I do still kind of think it is, but on the other side, it’s him being competitive, and both drivers have each other’s respect on being able to fight on track. So he’s got the spirit, just maybe not the right interview to show the most competitive spirit (I think the most competitive spirit/response he’s shown this 2021 season)

  A bit more on his spirit and fighting on track is seen from Lawrence Barreto who tells us that Lewis has the “game on” spirit and is ready for attacks on track but there needs to be respect on track “and if not this will happen more often I guess.” - Lewis. Just a bit more closure from another source, I like that he is more responsive, but this does make it sound like he blames Max for it. I think any driver who are up against each other have the right or it makes sense to give the majority of the blame to the other, they have their own rear mirrors (see it from their own perspective when they drive, quite literally), but it isn’t the best comment to be honest. Since he says himself, both could’ve given space.

  My biggest disagreement that I must mention is the penalty Lewis got, which was the 10 second penalty. Assessing the severity of the crash with high speed, 51G impact, first lap etc. I think the penalty didn’t really serve much of a penalty, but this is also me being critical of the penalty system. These 10 second penalties don’t really make you lose that much of position (depends on car), also this is not a blow at Lewis but just the system. Afterwards, he was also given 2 penalty points. I think compared to someone like Yuki who also got 2 penalty points for crossing the white line twice while entering the pits and George yesterday at the Sprint Race (1 penalty point + 3 place grid penalty) are quite different but looking at the number, there isn’t a big difference in what’s given. But all of this penalty talk is on the stewards and system, so nothing against Lewis and he did take his penalty that was given.

  I did not comment much on the actual incident as I have a hard time really deciding (I can admit I see Lewis unintentionally drift a bit in + this being a very fast turn, I believe just a misjudgment but so many fans think it was intentional), so therefore do read and watch the current and coming interviews and articles to get some racing perspective. It keeps updating and even drivers like Riccardo, Leclerc, Alonso etc. have given their comments, and who better to listen to than professionals themselves. So I encourage you to get perspective there, because I know not all of us are the most technical fans, and we tend to comment by being led through a bias and crowd.

  But if we’re feeling a bit tired from today, so far the drivers are leaning towards a racing incident. They speak of it as quite unclear to determine, basically saying that both drivers could’ve done and were doing something --> could’ve given space.

  We all have to remember this situation is a big deal since it’s the only two to be fair at the moment, who are competing for the championship. Both mad talented and on each other every track. Media blows it out more than them and before we know it, they’re back to what they do best, which is drive.

  Heart goes out to Max, it was quite an impact and if not his worst crash so far in his career. His team radio was quite scary to listen to, I’ve never heard him so shook, but he is doing quite fine at the moment, and he will hopefully recover well enough for the next race.

  As well for Lewis, emotions are running high and people are quick to assume and accuse without using common sense that Lewis wouldn’t endanger Max or himself. He has every right to celebrate a win and props for him winning.

  In conclusion to those who has taken the time to read, don’t let my thoughts be any decider, but more so a way to understand and be a bit more open minded. We are all subjective in the end and I try to see from both perspectives and to be critical as well, not being led by others’ opinions. I’ve stated my sources, and this is only my overall thoughts at the very moment, so remember, as drivers evolve and move on, we do too.

  I again encourage you to watch and research with an open mind so not being led on bias, especially if you’re willing to spread anything on the topic. It serves a greater outcome than sprouting from emotions and lack of information, as we have well seen from this sport. Because media does influence and we as an audience is a part of it. So I must remind again, that this is simply my thoughts.

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 7)

Previous / Next (8)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N:  This delay wasn’t planned everyone. My computer had enough from online classes and decided to crash on me a couple of days ago. I had to send it for repair, but we are back now. I will post a bit more often from my usual schedule for a few days to try and compensate. Hope yall like this, sorry for any mistakes made. Enjoy.

Tag list: @vicmc624  @yasminwashere​  @darkacademic2​

Word count:  4,301

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name                            

Y/L/N- Your Last Name    

                                         --------------------------------------

“ I am sorry to cut this lovely reunion short, but we are still in a HYDRA base and honestly I am sure I hear a clock ticking.” You pointed in the direction of the gentle muffled clicking sounds

“Guess they plan to level this place to the ground just in case.” Bucky pinched in

“The way it sounds, I plan to watch the fireworks from inside the car on our way AWAY!”

    Peggy still in Steve’s arms, felt being lifted off the ground again like she was made from feathers, as he dashed through the now missing doors towards the premade exit. She kept silent for most of the escape, seeing how the situation was confusing as it is, there was no need to fuel the adrenalin more. The bomb was enough for now.

 The grip Cap had on Peggy loosened, letting her jump in the backseat with his shield. Bucky’s big frame settled next to Steve in the front seat, but not before he threw you towards Agent Carter, less gently than his friend did.

“I am not a bag of groceries Barnes!” you kicked his seat, yet ended up getting ignored for the most part

  With determination, Steve’s foot hit the gas making the car roar out – snow creating a cloud behind the tires.

 The empty space filled with loud beating hearts, skipping and missing beats, going one over the other – starting to calm down only after some distance was put between them and the building.

“Guess I misunderstood the tiking sou-“ the whispers coming out from your lips were engulfed by the huge explosion following the thankfully small pieces hitting the rear of the vehicle. You and Peggy ducked your heads for safety measures. The men in front seemed too immersed in the road, couldn’t even notice the musical notes coming from Bucky’s metal arm, his body leaning out the window, as particles ricocheted off it .

“Barnes!” your fingers reached over to grab onto his weapon belts, pulling him back inside. This man had no regards to his life, making one stupid decision after the other. It didn’t help that Steve wasn’t even noticing it all. Sometimes it felt like they both shared the ‘stupid’.

“Calm down doll. I am trying to see through the dust cloud. Wouldn’t want Stevie to throws us off a cliff.”

“I. Can’t.Believe.You.Are.Joking.Right.Now!” each hit perfectly timed thumping off his broad shoulders

“Stop it you two! Call Stark.” The blonde man demanded, pulling Bucky’s attention from you and onto the earpiece. The deep stern voice of authority cut your upset streak immediately. 

“Hey ladies, how was the ball?” Tony’s playboy tone rung through the car, presumably while he was twirling onto his work chair.

“Delightful.” You hissed between your teeth

“What is wrong Cinderella? Lost a shoe?”

“No, but we gained a member.”

“Calling Barnes a dog isn’t nice now.”

“Stark!” Bucky launched towards the dashboard, but Steve stopped him with his free arm, before clasping the gear stick again.

“HYDRA were doing something in there that might have worked.”Cap began talking “ Tony, we don’t plan on stopping at a safe house. I am driving us directly towards the compound. How fast can you meet us there?”

 The mic picked up on Tony’s shifting body guessed by the screeching sound of his work chair “ I don’t know. How far are you from there? Fuck, I will call Happy to get me from Stark tower.”

“I am sorry to intrude in this discussion, but do you by chance mean Stark as in Howard Stark?” Peggy placed her hands onto Steve’s seat, pulling her body closer.

“Usually people don’t think of my father first thing when they hear my name.” Tony huffed out, a bit of pride bubbling in his long blood of geniuses.

“You are Howard’s son?!” she gasped audibly

“Umm, I thought people knew that about me already, as well as handsome, playboy, genius, billionaire. Google gives a good explanation too. Steve is this our new addition? I would be worried if the answer is yes.” The car fell silent for a couple of seconds “I will take that as my answer.”

“We are close.” Cap didn’t know how to deal with all this still, he just had to cut it short till everyone was gathered and maybe ignore the problem for the time being. Very bad coping mechanism.

“How many vodka shots do I need for this?” Tony’s equivalent to pre-workout when it came to Avengers related work. Maybe the only thing keeping him sane most of the time.

“Grab a bottle for me too.” You voiced loud and clear from the leaning position your body was resting in

“A bottle?! Fuck my life.” The earpiece cut off the conversation making Bucky place it back onto his ear. Silence laced the atmosphere once more, this time with no sound, but the motion of the car to keep company. Your eyes laid over everyone inside one by one, scanning them and their calm exterior. The drive was long and a bit suffocating to a point, where you had to open the window on your side to let some fresh air in.

“Ah, sorry.” You sighed out looking at Peggy’s scattering hair “I should have asked before opening it.” Her hand gently pushed the flying strands behind her ear flashing you’re a smile.

“It’s ok. I know how much you hate tight spaces, we used to find diners with tables next to open windows because of that.” There it was again, a chunk of true information about you throw directly out of the 40s at you in the 21st century. Steve’s gaze focused onto the reflection in the car mirror switching between his love’s soft gaze and your confused look thrown back at her.

“Calm down, we are almost there” Bucky’s fingers Morse coded a quick message to his ,on the edge friend, earing a nod and refocus back on the street.

 The moment you entered the city again, Peggy’s eyes darted towards her side of the car scanning everything happening. The buildings were huge, people were dressed so different, their manners and way they carried themselves, it felt weird not what she grew up with and knew by memory. It felt lonely maybe, or sad that she had no means of going back, yet the man sitting in front of her was a dream come true. Something she had wished for for years now.

“I am not…home anymore am I?” no one answered her, giving just enough information to make her own conclusion. With a small flair Steve drove the car into the compound, parking it at its usual space. The blonde soldier opened the door slowly, reaching his hand out for the agent to take, as baffled as she still was at this point. You found it so sweet how he was showing his feelings towards Peggy without saying a word, still lost in the mission. While Bucky was fixing himself up, he noticed the way your gaze laid over the two lovebirds in a longing stare. A gentle smirk pulled on his lips, before pushing out of the car and gripping your door handle. An unlocking sound shot your head, throwing your hair in the opposite direction.

“What are you doing?” you asked him, tripping over the end of the question lightly

“Something you will never admit you want.” His flesh arm reached out for yours to take, letting you marvel at his huge stance for a moment. The hesitation dissolved with the reflection of yourself inside his ocean blue eyes.

  An old melancholic memory blew over you like a ghost, pushing your hand into his palm. Even though Bucky was the one who offered this, his body froze when you accepted his touch. His eyes ran over your hand, up your shoulder to your face, locking with you. His fingers slowly pulled your hand closer, clapped gently as he ran his thumb over your knuckles.

“I am glad that at least you brought my car back, for once.” Tony’s figure, standing next to the elevator with spread hands, pulling you two out of the time capsule. For a moment, for just a split second you saw in front of yourself a man. Short messed up dark brown hair, his smile reaching up to his eyes, shaping them slightly into crescent moons. His shirt unbuttoned tinted a dirty olive green letting his chest show – a metal chain laid upon it. His pants were messed up, his face muddy at places. It went like it came, a mist like whisper of the past.

“Tony we need to gather everyone.” Steve pushed the keys into the billionaire’s chest, letting them drop in his hands

“Already did-“ it didn’t take much time for him to notice Peggy “Is that?”

“Agent Peggy Carter.” She walked up to him with a confidant stride leaning for a handshake, which Tony didn’t hesitate to finish “Well aware of your identity agent Carter. Stark, Tony Stark.”

 She flashed him a smile with a small nod before walking into the elevator.

“F.R.Y.D.A.Y. conference room.”

   Yes Sir

   The doors slid open causing the confused agent to jump a bit. You made sure to grab onto her, stopping a potential injury inside. The big almost ceremonial hall sized room revealed itself in front of Peggy, adding to her list of amazing and possibly impossible things.

“How did the first mission go Y/N?” Nat swung her legs jumping off the table, just to be stopped in her track by the unexpecting young lady behind Steve

“Everyone take your seats. This will be a long one.”Tony rushed to pour himself a drink, downing it faster than he could refill it. Peggy took Steve’s spot as he requested of her, taking his big frame to the front of the room.

“The HYDRA base was active. Except the usual goons there were 3 men, one of them was a scientist. Y/N.” he pointed towards you, directing the attention at you for a moment “Was able to retrieve the information, hopefully all of it, from them.”

“May I?” you asked, coaxing a nod from Steve. He turned towards your empty chair ,as you took his place in front of everyone. Taking over Tony’s tech you inserted the USB, but didn’t project anything yet to them. “They are trying to re-activate plan Winter Soldier and I am worried that they are pretty close to doing that.” Bucky’s body tensed up after he heard that name uttered from your lips “ I am guessing that they are opening a portal back in time using the tesseract. I don’t know if they plan to steal the serum, but it won’t be as simple as we think. F.R.Y.D.A.Y. the projector please.”

   As you wish Miss

    The wall became illuminated by different pictures and texts meticulously organized by you on the screen under your fingers. “I found old files, but no matter how much I scan them, I can’t get any information out of them.” Your head moved from the wall over to the tablet between your palms “All I can tell you is this Phase2-“

“Winter Soldier Phase2 The Return.” Peggy spoke out, her body rising slowly from the chair

“Everyone.” Your hand let go of the tech and turned the palms up pointing at her “Agent Peggy Carter, the one who walked through that very light ring a couple of hours ago.”

“She traveled through time?” Clint looked at Rhodey shaking his hands in front of his body “Is that something we can do now? Doesn’t it mess up some time space stuff?”

“Yes, basically. Just don’t tell Strange, we should be fine” You explained 

“Noted.”

“Well since she seems to know something about this, let’s let her explain.” Tony swung his whiskey in the expensive crystal glass, the ice hitting the walls melodically.

“Before this all happened, I was on a mission to retrieve the second half of that exact document.” She began

“You have read the first part ?” Steve asked earning an positive answer from her

“The experimented soldiers were cryo-frozen for future use, I am guessing in this day and age. The first file spoke of the process and the scientists involved in the whole operation by name. They planned to use one of these men to make a super soldier embryo.”

“HYDRA wants to mingle some of their soldiers to make a baby? Wouldn’t want to be that poor girl.” the playful note was easily distinguished 

“They could inject the serum inside a pregnant mother.” Vision leaned his body onto the table offering his two cents on this already sadistic topic 

“ This whole ordeal could be a way for them to try and retrieve the lost files. Going back in time is a big thing on its own. Guess they are very confidant in this operation to begin with.” Wanda jumped in with an idea following a lead

“That is an option, considering that their plan with unfreezing those popsicles ended up with all them dying in the first place.” Tony pushed off his desk, leaving the glass to rest on the coaster empty. “What else did you find on that USB?”

“That two soldiers survived that time difference.” Pressing the screen Bucky’s file popped up on the wall “James Buchanan Barnes, as we know went through the cryo freezer, but the second soldier doesn’t have any intel on methods of survival. Yet the more I looked into it, the more information I found about him. The files are much fuller than those of Bucky, almost like they had a personal deal of sorts, which got me thinking. So turns out this mystery soldier was in HYDRA as a family business. Him and Bucky were the best duo they had, almost perfectly engineered team. Taking orders and finishing the job. Our Mr.2 didn’t go under the memory eraser as much as Bucky did, only 5 recorded cases in here.  ” You tried to dig for a picture to offer them a face, but you could only find a burned one of a dog tag with a missing name, only the numbers left “ It is almost like he had been in the organization since a child.”

“What a family.” Nat commented “Basically we have another Barnes running around out there and we don’t know what he is capable of or who he might be?”

“I don’t remember any of this.” Bucky rubbed his head, either a headache creeping onto him or the anger of not being able to be of help.

“The problem might go deeper than that.” Steve rolled his shoulders back, hands crossed in front of his chest “Peggy seems to know Y/N.”

“Pardon my French but what the actual flying fuck?” Sam laughed out “ You can time travel of something now?”

“Not that I know of.” You shrugged “I am as confused about this as you all are.”

“Peggy?” his blonde hair flew around his head, as his eyes focused onto her figure

“We, me and Y/N are friends. Both of us met awhile after Steve’s….disappearance. Probably a couple of years or so. We used to go out from time to time and enjoy some food or a casual walk. Nothing suspicious. ”

“You said we haven’t seen each other since a few months now?” you asked her

“Yes, last time we met you had to leave earlier because of family problems with your uncle. It was pure coincidence, but I saw that the man who picked you up was James.”

 It felt like something snapped your head towards Bucky, eyes meeting in a mix of shock and confusion. The whole room couldn’t take a breath in until their brains calculated all that just got released as information. Tony frozen in one place as his eyes began to widen.

“I think I will be saying the thing we all are thinking about but…” Bruce trailed off trying to delay this as much as he could this rough interruption “ If Miss Carter is 100% sure she knew Y/N, the one here right now that we see and she also has seen her and Bucky together during that time. The information we got from that USB can lead only to one possible conclusion.”

“Are yall saying I am 100 something years old!?” your exterior was mirroring your inside state “We don’t know if it is a woman or a men, but you can’t just start pointing fingers like that.”

“I am sure it was Y/N. I followed you back then. After recognizing James I thought…” her eyes looked at Cap softly “ If he was alive than maybe Steve was as well.” The atmosphere was dark, heavy, but also like thunder crackling, hitting you with buzzes of something.

“What we are saying is that you could be working for HYDRA and we would never know.” Tony took a few steps towards you, his finger of the suit trigger button “A few years off your daily life are missing under the alibi that you were living with your uncle. You show some interesting symptoms from time to time to.”

“I don’t work for HYDRA!” agitating words and lack of memory began taking a tole on you “Wanda, Wanda look inside my head. Tell them I don’t work for HYDRA!” you were shaking her body vigorously, hoping for assistance maybe at least from Vision, the walking infinity stone.  

“Ok, calm down.” You took a seat while Wanda began gently entering your mind. She was gentle, taking her time going past one memory and into the other. Seeing thoughts and unsaid wishes. After what felt as an eternity she pulled her fingers away from your head and her presence out of your mind.

“She is telling the truth.” You slumped into the chair, taking a sharp breath in after what she said. For a moment you thought you heard faintly Tony disengaging the repulsion canon on his suit.

“But…”

“But what?” eyes wandering over Wanda in expectation

“You have missing memories, not exactly forgotten maybe suppressed or hidden. Things just don’t feel natural in some places in your head. They seem periodical.”

“Now that we have calmed down.” Bruce walked over to you, helping you get up and shielding your body from Tony’s sight “Let’s take her to Stark tower. Tony your lab there is much bigger we can figure this thing out.” Everyone in the room waited for the ultimate decision, which he took his time on making.

“F.R.Y.D.A.Y. prepare the lab.”

  Yes Sir

 “Thank you, Tony.” You whispered

“Don’t mention it kid.” His hand landed onto your shoulder, giving you a reassuring squeeze, that he himself might have needed at that moment  “Barnes you will be in a car with Steve, Clint and Peggy, Y/N will be with me, Bruce and Natasha. We don’t need you two that close for now. Wanda, Sam and Vision can just fly there. Rhodey grab Happy and wait for us there. You.”he pointed at Thor “Go ask your messed up brother if he worked with HYDRA or lost the Tesseract for sometime before we made Vision .”

  Thor summoned Bifrost off Midguard, Wanda grabbed onto Vision disappearing into the wall. Everyone else headed down to the garage. The elevator was packed, the silence felt like a rope around your throat choking you with each floor passing. The space seemed tighter than before. It felt like the elevator was slowly filling with water, the pressure crushing your bones. Your body warmed up going past the normal temperature, when an icy like cooling sensation rolled up from your waist. Jolting threw you slight back hitting something soft yet firm.

“Calm down, it is me.” A deep voice whispered letting your body sink into this hold turning into pudding. He was the only thing keeping you standing, melting away the worry. Your hands crept up grabbing onto his vibranium arm, holding tight almost like he might disappear if you let go.

Sir, the garage.

   F.R.Y.D.A.Y. ‘s voice echoed sliding the metal doors open. Tony threw a pair of keys over to Steve, unlocking his own.

“I got her.” Natasha smiled at you, showing Bucky that he can entrust you to her from here on. As much as you didn’t want him to let go, you felt his body leaving yours. “ It will be ok. No one really thinks you are on their side.” She told you “We just have to make sure that if this is all true they didn’t mess with you in ways they did with the metal fossil.”

“Nat.”a jingle like giggle left your lips, tapping her arm post joke. She knew what to say at any given moment. 

“Ladies mind having your giggle fest in the car, we are busy people.” Tony snapped his fingers in a flashy way, ushering you both on the back seat.

“What is the plan then?” worried or not, there was no point trying to change something outside your grasp. You were still scared, worried but sometimes wearing adult pants was needed. You worked hard to reach this spot, there was no way you could let go of your future like this. Determination was unlocking something inside you, strength in situation most people wouldn’t be able to be composed in.

  Tony threw a look at you before continuing to drive towards Stark tower “Glad to have you back agent.” Nat rubbed your hand in partnership with Tony’s words “ These are all theories, but having Peggy Carter so sure in knowing you could have revealed something about you and or HYDRA.”

Sir, a message incoming from Falcon

 “Put him through.”

“Hey Tony! Sorry to cut your show short. I am getting a police report of a road shut down by some black jeeps heading up on yall.” Sam was flying over the cars

“Check on it.” The big metal wings shadowed over the road and flew in front, almost disappearing between the clouds.

“Who would have guessed that someone would try and stop us from going to the lab.” Bruce laughed at his comment, but Tony and Natasha seemed too serious

“We shall see how much of this was the job of a little fairy.” The car slowed down coming up on the barricade of cars standing, tinted windows not allowed a correct assumption of human number

“Smells fishy to me. Someone let the octopus out.” Natasha pulled out the gun from her case sitting calmly next to her leg. Tony prepared his bracelets.

“Dusty, you get ready too.” He shot you a serious glance “I don’t think these fine gentlemen want our autographs.”

 No one made a move for a couple of minutes, before one of the jeeps opened and threw a man out of it on the floor. Bloodied up, tied in a brutal way. His head was hanging low enough for people to figure out he was an adult male, but not enough to figure out any facial characteristics.

“Great they have a hostage.” Steve’s voice echoed from the intercoms

“It’s HYDRA.” Bucky added “Couldn’t forget these disgusting faces even if I tried.”

“ Could have guessed that much myself from the logo on them metal boy.” Tony hissed knowing damn well they had to save whoever that man was.

“Don’t be shy, we won’t shoot. Yet.”  The HYDRA agent laughed out “Do you need more motivation?” his leg generated enough kinetic energy to roll the man over to the exposed sun light, making you yell out “UNCLE!”

“What?” Bruce’s body swung towards the backseat

“Great!” Tony hit the stearin wheel aggressively “Now we gotta do something. Avengers, out of the car.”

 Like a command you jumped out of the vehicle , trying to make sure you weren’t just guessing blindly, but it was him. It actually was your uncle, could he have been kidnapped all this time? The letters he stopped answering to could have been a sign you were too blind to notice. But why him?

“Now that we have acquainted ourselves , we want a deal.” The tall man spoke out braking your thought process “Give us our soldier back and we give you this one here.”

“How about we punch you in the face and you give us the hostage ?” Bucky hissed out, his arm clenching in front of your eyes

“Honestly, I liked you better when you didn’t talk.” the smirk ripping this man’s face was disgusting, filled with pride.

“Y/N?” you uncle coughed up a bit of blood next to himself, a sight tugging on your heart strings.

“Aw such a sweet view. Almost a bit sad don’t you th-“

“Not as sad as you will be in a bit!” full speed down from the sky, Sam ripped the clouds landing a hard kick on the back of this guy’s head. Knocking him a couple of feet back. You dashed over to your uncle, who mustered enough power to get up and try to reach you. He collapsed half way, falling into your arms just in time.

“Uncle, uncle!” you kept calling out to him, brushing his hair off his sweaty forehead, who knows what this man went through at a HYDRA base by himself.

“I am ok sweetie. D-don’t worry.” You lowered your head trying to hear him better between the heavy breathing he was huffing and puffing, sending you a comforting smile.

“We should help them.” Steve and Bucky went towards you to give a hand in charring your relative.

“Steve wait!” Peggy grabbed his sleeve, when Bucky suddenly got the wind knocked out of him, his back denting one of Tony’s cars. The sheer strength needed to throw a big man like James back only possible by Steve, or another super soldier.

[chaoslaura]

General 23 “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?” For Willex thank you ☺️👻

Read it on AO3

This is my first work for Willex, I hope you like it.

Willie had been sitting in on more than one rehearsal after Alex asked him if he wanted to watch them practice. And how on earth could Willie say no to such a question? Watching his boyfriend wailing on the drums in his sweaty Shirt was more entertaining than leading on some policemen on the hunt for misfits. Skateboarding and mischief were Willie’s content of life but after he met Alex those fateful months ago his afterlife was turned upside down and a few more aspects of his ghost life changed.

And one was watching the band his boyfriend was in playing through their setlist for another gig that was coming up next week. Flynn had scored it for them after she announced herself as their social media manager with no complaint from the boys, because, bless their hearts, they had no idea what that entailed or even meant in the slightest. Flynn tried to explain to them what she was doing online to raise their notoriety but it got out of hand when after two hours she didn’t make much progress besides averting Reggie’s attention from the puppy pics he saw on her timeline, answering Luke’s endless question because he was the only one who was really interested in the whole process (we could’ve been so famous back then guys if that instadiagram already existed!), and snapping her fingers in Alex’s face because he wasn’t listening again in favour of skipping through a magazine.

Julie agreed on Flynn’s job from the beginning, happy she could include her best friend in her new found life, after their had a rocky start when Julie didn’t spill her ghostly band secret, but now the two of them were going stronger than ever and Willie found himself often sitting beside Flynn on the couch while listening to the band practice and helping Flynn making posts or record videos of them.

Honestly Willie still couldn’t grasp the fact that he scored a boyfriend that amazing. Not even when he was alive, but especially after he died, he lost hope of ever finding someone so special, but Alex filled that spot so effortlessly, he didn’t have to do anything or make any effort beside existing and Willie was content with the way his afterlife was coming along.

After months of spending little moments together, going on more than one date, to evade the chaos of the band that came on whenever the boys were unsupervised for too long, Willie was confident in himself to say he knew Alex pretty well. So, he was sure that Alex wasn’t giving his everything while drumming his beat to this particular song. It was prominent as soon as they started with the first song, the nervous energy still emanating from Alex, that normally disappeared after the first two songs when Alex let it all out.

But Willie still clapped proudly when they finished their setlist, only Luke didn’t look fully satisfied, reminding them again of their upcoming gig, but without looking directly in anyone’s faces and Willie knew he did it to not put Alex under more pressure than necessary.

They were all aware of the importance of the gig with music recs being present to examine and judge the playing bands, and that it was their chance to score a label, the moment they were all working for for more than 4 years. Well, that was the case for the boys anyhow, but even Julie had been working hard after she rediscovered the power of her voice. Her dad had been wary of it first, stating it was all going too fast, concerned if Julie could make it, but after reassuring her dad that it was really her dream (and that her last year of school wouldn’t be neglected) Ray had been fully supporting her. Recording more performance for YouTube and that was what helped them along with Flynn to be able to perform next week.

It seemed as if that was the only topic the guys and girls could talk about in the studio, at school, in Julie’s room, or in the kitchen when Reggie talked to Ray. Alex seemed elevated at first too, not as much as Luke maybe was, but he too understood the importance and that was maybe where the problem was coming from.

At first Willie thought Alex was just nervous as he was before any of their gigs, afraid to lose the rhythm or not getting the beat right, even though that happened so rarely it shouldn’t be a concern at all. But as the gig came nearer and nearer and his sticks had to hold more pressure from Alex’s hands that he wrung around them in a tight grip till his knuckles were white, Willie realized it wasn’t just normal nervousness or stage fright.

Alex was tapping a beat on his leg where he was sitting on the sofa in the green room, nose scrunched up the way he did when he was thinking about something unpleasant, and Willie was carefully taking a seat next to him to not startle him. The last thing Willie wanted was for Alex to have a panic attack and it seemed he was already on his way there from what he was seeing. Slowly Willie laid a hand on Alex leg but not giving in to his urge to hug his boyfriend. Alex could feel crowded when having a person to be so close to him when he needed much more air to fill his lungs and that couldn’t work with arms around his ribs.

But when Alex didn’t acknowledge the hand on his thigh even Willie got restless. Normally Luke and Reggie were the best option to calm Alex down, having enough experience to know the right way to do it but Willie was so new to everything, he was afraid to do something wrong and only making the whole situation worse. Even though Alex reassured him several times that Willie was in no position to do that, contrary he helped him feeling grounded. But Willie was having trouble to believe that when he saw Alex in a state like this.

Unfortunately, the other guys and Julie were out. Reggie and Luke accompanying Julie while she was out getting food, hanging on her phone to not raise suspicion of her craziness at speaking with air. Flynn was out in the crowd, mingling with the people, so Willie found himself alone and with no idea when the boys would be back. Could be the next minute or next thirty minutes and until then Willie should’ve helped his boyfriend or he would be a very bad exemplar of a friend, he thought.

“Alex, hey.” Willie tried to gain Alex’ attention and moved his face in front of him to snap Alex out of his stupor.

It seemed to work as Alex eyes focused on him now and a small smile formed on his lips. “Oh hey Willie. Since when are you here?”

“Just a few minutes. The others are out, but they could be back any minute.”

“Okay, good.”

“Are you good though?” Willie nodded to Alex bouncing leg to indicate what he meant.

Alex was following his gaze and was apparently only now realizing that his limbs had a life on their own and tried to stop the nervous movement, only to start kneading the material of his fanny pack.

Willie took Alex hand in his and squeezed it once to say he was here, they always did it to let Alex know Willie wasn’t going anywhere and Alex could talk to him. Willie hoped it was working because there was clearly something going on and he would rather Alex talked to him before letting his thoughts spiral too much.

“You seem more nervous than usual. I’m sure the gig will be great, you guys are always great, especially you hotdog.” He added with a wink. Sometimes him saying something ridiculous interrupted Alex train of thought just like Reggie saying something stupid and repeating facts wrong did.

“I’m good, don’t worry.” Alex pressed out and both knew it wasn’t the truth.

“Oh, I’m not worrying about you. I’m worrying about the rest of your band when you play so well that the big guys only want you and Luke will be crushed.” Observing Alex demeanour that must have hit it on the head.

“Doubt, that will happen.”

“What? You playing good or Luke being devasted over not getting a record deal?”

“The first.” Alex admitted while his gaze was locked on the floor, only Willie looking at his boyfriend and seeing how upset he was over it.

“But you’re always amazing, what makes you think today will be an exception?” Sometimes it was hard to get behind Alex thought process when the only things he could think about were worst case scenarios.

“Just- Okay, I know I’m good, otherwise Luke would’ve never let me play in in the band no matter how great of a friends we were. But I’m not as amazing as you always say, I’m not perfect, and today has to be perfect. Luke was saying that every day of the last week and we all now how important the evening is to the band and I know Ray has been planning a surprise party for Julie and she would be so happy. But what if I fuck something up and ruin the whole song or every song and we won’t get the deal, and Julie’s dad will be so disappointed in her, and Luke will hate me forever because that is his dream and I will be to blame for shattering it and then Reggie will take his side because Luke is his favourite friend, and fuck-“ Alex now had his hands in his hair and was pulling on some strands before Willie took one of them in his hand again to stop Alex and pull him back to reality, now after he was finished rambling.

With his other hand Willie carefully cupped Alex chin and turned his head in his direction so he could look him straight into his eyes. He needed to get this message across and into Alex thick scull. “Hey, look at me Alex. Focus on me alright? Try to fade out this evening for one second okay? It’s just the two of us on this couch. First of all, your friends love you. Luke could never hate you. Whatever happens tonight, Luke and the others have your back and they won’t ever throw you out of the band or will be disappointed in you, neither would be Ray if he could see or talk to you. And Reggie doesn’t have a favourite. You may not see it, but he latches on to you whenever you appear and knows how much you love him behind your sarcastic comments. The same applies for Julie. You’re right, this evening is important, but your wellbeing is even more important and neither of us want you to blame yourself for whatever may go wrong. No band is perfect even though you guys get pretty close to that. And if tonight is not working out the way you all wanted it to then there’s a next time. We have eternity and Julie is still young. Okay?”

Alex nodded slowly like he still needed to process the words.

“Can I give you a hug or do you want some space?” Willie asked, interlacing his fingers with Alex.

“No, it’s okay.” And that was all Willie needed to hear before he tugged Alex head underneath his chin as it was normally the other way around with Alex being taller than him. One hand was going under Alex hoodie to rub small circles onto his back and the other into his hair to get him as close as possible.

“Thanks Willie.” Alex mumbled from his spot into Willie’s shirt, but Willie could hear the words clearly and gave Alex a kiss on the crown of his hair. “No problem, hotdog.”

[renaxwrites]

Hiii can I ask for a hc of what it is like to be in a full-blown fight or heated argument with Tsukki, Akaashi, and Hajime? It can be angst or fluff hehe sorry if it’s a bit random hehe Thank u in advance! 💜😁

Fights -  (Tsukishima, Akaashi, Iwaizumi)

a/n: my heart is too (soft) for angst I can never handle it lmao

     warnings: slight angst, some cussing

tsukishima:

Okay it’s normal to playfully banter and bicker with each other, but when it’s a full-blown argument, it’s a whole other level

It’s clear that he needs his privacy, which includes his personal things

You were doing your normal cleaning routine, and noticed something out of its normal place. His most prized possession: his headphones. So imagine the feeling when you trip over something, sending his headphones flying, and bouncing off a hard surface, breaking them.

Nothing made you feel worse, but you already placed an order online for a newer version of the ones he had. Gosh you had never bought something so fast in your life

But of course the ONE time it happened, it was when he wanted them the most. OFC!!

He had looked in the only two places it could be, and since they weren’t there, he confronted you. So you confessed, cause obviously it would be worse to lie.

You were gonna replace them, but before you got to tell him that…man did he blow UP…he was PISSED to say the least

“The hell did you touch them for? Better yet, why were you in there in the first place? You really don’t know when to mind your own business, do you? It’s like you always do the opposite of what I say!”

You’re trying not to raise your voice either, but of course you needed to get your side of the story in

Was trying his best not to scream at you, but his voice would definitely be raised

However, he would never call you any degrading names. He absolutely drinks his “respecting women juice”. He just didn’t have his coffee before this, however.

Honestly, once he says his piece, he goes to a different room, so he can think and cool off. One thing about Tsukki is that he sometimes needs time alone, which you always respect.

Once you two are ready to talk to each other again, you approach him and explain what happened in a calm manner. You apologize for damaging his headphones. He is more of an actions over words kind of guy. He in turn cups your face in his hands and is sorry for raising his voice instead of hearing you out first

He then wraps his arms around you and puts his face in the crook of your neck. 

Before y’all go into cuddle mode, you raise his face and show him the new headphones you ordered for him

Powers all his love into a big ass kiss on your forehead

THEN y’all cuddle

akaashi:

Honestly, Akaashi is a reasonable, respectful king™ that always applies common sense before doing anything irrational, so it would take a lot as his s/o to get him to that level of anger

Like, wayy worse than Bokuto

The only things that could reach him to that level is if someone is harassing or putting down his s/o or anyone he is close to (teammates, family, etc). OR, if you are purposely putting down your self-worth in front of him

Since Akaashi plays, you often would go to his matches to support them, and you would see girl volleyball players for their tournaments as well.

Most of them were tall, lean, and have an overall fit figure from years of hardcore training, and just the sight of them would make you feel insecure about yourself. You wouldn’t tell your bf, so that he wouldn’t be worried

But after seeing the vb girls again, you were then self-motivated to look that way too, but you were going the wrong way about it

At first, Akaashi didn’t notice. But then, he started noticing you eating less and working out more. You even softly refused to go to your favorite fast-food spot for a spontaneous food run. If anything, when he mentioned it, you were suddenly off the couch and ready to work out again

You accidentally left your phone open while you went to change into your workout clothes. He felt guilty for even having to look through it, but he needed to get to the bottom of this. Immediately he saw your search history, full of “how to get thinner”s, “extreme dieting”s, “ideal body shape workout”s.

Alright, he’s had enough

He is ready to burst through your door, but the gentleman he is, knocks first

When you say “come in”…

BOOM

“Why am I seeing all this bullshit on your internet history?”

You don’t see the problem with wanting to get healthier, or thinner in your mind. Like those volleyball girls

“Babe. Don’t you ever. EVER. Compare yourself to anyone else!! Those girls have been training for years. It takes years to get that way. But skipping meals, eating less, and working out more? Constantly measuring and weighing yourself? Dammit, I must be failing as a boyfriend if you’re feeling this way.

“Being skinny is NOT the same thing as being healthy! Babe, you don’t need to be thin to be beautiful. You are perfect the way you are. Now, if you want to follow a healthier lifestyle, I’ll help you. I can show you how to properly do it. Okay? Please, for me?”

He envelops you in his arms and rests his chin on your head, rubbing your back as you let a few tears leak out. He picks up your chin and gives you a kiss.

“Wanna go get some ice cream?”

“Yes, please”

Best ice cream you’ve ever had

iwaizumi:

Iwa is a MAN that just honestly wants to provide you the best, what he feels you deserve

Sometimes he feels insecure, feeling at times he could do better, causing an inner frustration with himself, which causes him to unintentionally snap one day

The two of you had your 1 year anniversary in a week, and he had never been so sure of anything than wanting to spend the rest of his days with you

So he wanted to finally tell you ‘I love you’ with a promise ring

Now, rings aren’t the cheapest thing in the world, and definitely not the one he had in mind. But you deserved it.

He had 90 percent of the money for the ring, but where was he going to get the other 10 percent? In a week? And the poor boy didn’t want any help, he wanted to be assured that he could do something for you knowing HE did it. So, naturally, he was getting stressed out.

You noticed how stressed he was getting as the days of your one-year started getting closer. He was intently texting every second of any break he had, and it started to worry you.

3 days left: He says, “I’m fine.” 2 days: “Don’t worry about it, love.”

The night before: when it all caved in.

You decided to confront him about it. “Iwa, what are you so worried about? You’ve been more concerned about your phone then telling me… is something wrong? Did I upset you?”

He is still texting

“IWA.”

He finally looks up at you. “I’m trying to do something, y/n. Can you just LET me?”

You put your hands on your hips.

Oh boy, was he in for it.

“What is so important that you’ve been more interested in your stupid ass messages than you are with me? You’re over me already, aren’t you? And right before our damn anniversary? You could have at least let me know when you first got over me!”

Iwa tries to get his brain cells together, but just goes off.

He gets up. “If you MUST know, I’ve been trying for MONTHS. MONTHS! To save up for this goddamn ring tomorrow that probably isn’t even good enough for you! I’m so pathetic! You deserve someone who can get you anything you wanted right then and there! You deserve someone better than me, who can give you what I can’t! I’m trying my fucking best to be what you deserve, but how? I can’t even buy you a simple, fucking ring so I can finally tell you that I love you!”

You’re both in tears.

“You love me?”

“More than anything else in this world.”

You let out a sob and rush over to him and you embrace one another. You simultaneously look up and brush off the other’s tears.

“Iwa, I don’t need any fancy things to be happy. I just need you, all of you. There is nothing or nobody that can change the way I feel for you. I love you.”

You kiss and continue to embrace, moving it to the couch to wallow in each other’s presence, all through the early morning

Midnight hits.

“Happy anniversary, y/n.” “Happy anniversary, Iwa.”

[huihuiheart]

New Home - Yoon Jeonghan Fluff

Just a little birthday gift for Shay @cheonsajeonghan1004 it’s not too much, so hopefully among your celebrations and college work today you’ll have time to indulge in this.(Let’s be real you make time for Jeonghan.)Also yes there are some points that you’ll get and yes they are pointed at how you treat yourself even though you shouldn’t, but maybe you’ll listen in this format for a change? Anyways it’s been like 9 years since we met, so you’re basically stuck with me at this point. I’ll be nice this year though and not make it a two part where you have to pick between Taemin and Jeonghan again. I was also nice enough not to use his Halloween or red hair pics against you again! Love you little sis! Enjoy your day!!!!

Word Count: 2,255 

So yes everyone it is a little short. If you read my message to my friend you’ll know why. It is intentional, it’s so it’s hopefully short enough to be read and enjoyed despite her busy schedule!

Jeonghan and you had been dating for a few years now. Having met one summer and thinking that would be all it was a short summer fling. Things going fast and perfect and then ending all of a sudden in a flurry of empty promises, fleeting kisses, and goodbyes before moving on with your lives away from each other. Only in your case the promises had proved to be anything but empty and one sided, you two proving to withstand the test of time and the toll it took on your long-distance relationship. 

Yet, you both were going strong as you had been that short sweet summer long ago. Only getting to catch up during short breaks and vacations. Circumstances could change very soon though as you had applied to go to a college near where he lived. Which if you got accepted meant you could see each other a lot more often. Your friend had applied too, agreeing to help you settle in someplace entirely new without having to rely solely on Jeonghan for familiarity, something she knew you'd refuse to do anyways considering you were far too mindful of his also busy schedule not wanting to burden him. Which is why it surprised you that he called the day that you got an email back from the college that you had applied to. 

"So were you just not going to tell me that you got a response? I've been waiting to know what is happening." Jeonghan's voice flows into your ear and it's much more excited than you are in this moment feeling like nerves are eating you from the inside out at the prospect of not getting accepted. 

"How did you find out I got a response?" You inquired gnawing lightly on your bottom lip as you stated at the unopened email. 

"How do you think? Y/F/N knew you weren't going to tell me even though I told you I wanted to know when you got a response." Jeonghan gives you the same answer as any other time he found out about something you weren't going to burden him with. Your best friend knowing how much he helped you through things and spilling anything she knew you'd refuse to tell him out of love.

"You have practice I didn't want to disturb you or anything." You whined softly trying to seem like the good guy in this scenario though you knew Jeonghan would win in the end. He always did.

 "Yeah and you also always say I need to take more breaks and rest. So give me an excuse to. Now I'm going to hang up and get some water. But be ready cause I'm going to face time you in like five minutes and then we'll open it alright?" Jeonghan is asking, but you know he'll refuse to take anything other than agreement as an acceptable answer. 

You were both stubborn, yet Jeonghan knew how to soften you up enough to get what he wanted 90% of the time. True to his word roughly five minutes later you get an incoming call from him on facetime. 

You answered with a soft sigh and pout, "Hannie when I said I wanted you to take breaks and relax this isn't what I meant and you know it."

 "Okay fine, but how can I relax when I'm wondering what's going on with my love?" Jeonghan counters quickly causing you to shake your head a little bit, but give in anyways.

"Now open it up and tell me what they said. We'll figure it out either way." Jeonghan assures as your cursor hovers over the daunting email. Biting your lip you click on it, eyes skimming the page before they widen suddenly.

 "I got in!!!! Hannie I got in!! I'm going to be near you as soon as school starts." You practically launch out of your seat at screaming the news as Jeonghan's ecstatic laugh comes from your phone. 

"See I told you there was nothing to worry about." Jeonghan rolls his eyes playfully. Though his words only seem to set more worries in.

 "Wait but what if Y/F/N didn't get in? We're supposed to be moving together. And like what if we can't find a place. Hannie there's so much to do." You whimper cowering back into your seat again.

“Easy baby, just breathe. How about you line up some options or something and see what happened with Y/F/N. I’ll get you guys a place to stay at a hotel so you can look at the options before deciding.” Jeonghan offers a practical solution in light of your panicking, which was another pretty regular thing between the two of you. 

“Okay, okay, you need to actually rest and I’ll call her right now to see if she heard anything yet.” You easily agree with a soft nod, “I love you and I’m really excited to be close to you, even if my nerves make it seem like otherwise is true.”

“Love you too babygirl, now go call Y/F/N. I wanna know if my girlfriend and little sister both got in.” Jeonghan giggles one last time over the phone before you’re both hanging up to go about your very different daily lives.You’d always felt he’d done far far too much and that you did barely anything, wrongfully beating yourself up for things that were out of your control and that weren’t yours to take on. No one ever felt that was the case though, all agreeing that you did plenty. They were ecstatic that you were able to do something that you wanted to though and that it was building you up and encouraging you. 

“So did you get in too? Please tell me I’m not going alone.” You whined over the phone to your friend, your lip being abused between your teeth.

“I mean you weren’t going to be alone either way since you have Jeonghan.” Your friend chuckles over the phone dragging out her answer just to mess with you a little bit, “But I kinda got in.”

“What do you mean you kinda got in?” You counter ready to lose your mind and go off on your friend a bit for messing with you.

“I was accepted into one of their online programs. So I can do that from anywhere, if I’m close by though I can use the campus perks.” Your friend explains laughing lightly as she knows she barely dodged your attack.

“So does that mean you’re going to come with me then?” A hopeful quirk in your tone as you continue to interrogate your friend. 

“Boo my bags were packed two weeks ago, of course I’m coming. I knew they wouldn’t say no to us. Who would?” Your friend isn’t known to be a confident person, but she had her moments and she used them to oftentimes make you feel more comfortable.

“Honestly, I would have said no to us.” You can practically see her rolling her eyes at your playful tone.

“Whatever, I’m on my way over to help you pack right now.” 

You two had managed to get a flight booked for two weeks out, which seemed a reasonable amount of time to get things packed up and ready to move. Jeonghan insisting that you both make it easier on yourselves and ship some of your things to his place instead of trying to take EVERYTHING with you on the flight. Not that you both were bringing a ton of things, both ready for a fresh start. That being said you both had sent some things to Jeonghan to make travelling easier. Your boyfriend sending you a playlist made specifically for your time spent travelling. Something you’d likely have to reprimand him for spending so much time on once you did learn how long it took him to make. Of course, that didn’t stop a stupid smile from filling your entire face as you listened to the whole thing. 

When you landed you followed your friend’s lead through the airport, not the most experienced traveler personally and her always seeming to know exactly where to go. Going down an escalator to get to baggage claim she snickered under her breath.

“What’s so funny all of a sudden?” You question brows furrowed as you watch your friend.

“Someone just seems a little eager is all.” She responds nodding her head to below you with a smile. Following her gaze you see Jeonghan with a silly grin that could match yours his eyes lighting up as he finally sees you.

Your friend is a few steps below you, getting off first and quickly giving Jeonghan a passing hug before moving to see which area of baggage claim is for your flight and also just giving you and Jeonghan room. Which was probably a great idea considering Jeonghan practically lunged at you once you stepped off, pulling you into a tight hug and spinning you around a little.

“You’re finally here!” Jeonghan practically squeals, “Come on I’ll help you both get your things and take you to the hotel and then we’ll get some food, you two are probably hungry after travelling.” 

“Yay for third wheeling!” Your friend sarcastically cheers earning her a playful shove from you. 

“We aren’t that bad and you know it.” You laugh shaking your head at her.

“Besides you shouldn’t have helped set us up that summer if you weren’t ready to put up with us.” Jeonghan adds and your friend fakes offense at being tag teamed by you both. “So do you guys have anything planned for tomorrow?”

“Well I think we were planning on checking out the dorms and two apartments as options for us. But I think we were wrapping up about 2ish, we were gonna grab some lunch between places most likely.” You tell Jeonghan who nods leaving your side only for a second to help your friend with the suitcase that was trying to get away from her on the conveyor belt. 

“Sounds good any options if those don’t work out?” Jeonghan asks putting the suitcase down besides your friend to grab one he recognized as yours.

“Not really it was hard to find stuff in our budget in a place with so many other students.” Your friend admits with a soft sigh, “But hey we’re here now we’ll figure it out.” 

Jeonghan hums his expression one he makes when he gets lost in thought, but you’ll question it later you think to yourself as he gets you two to your hotel, where your friend she’d rather clean up and rest to let you two catch up than be stuck third wheeling, as much as she loved you two. Jeonghan being a bit protective of her like a little sister not buying it so easily worried she wouldn’t eat, but he decides to compromise ordering some food to the room to make sure she does eat before you two go out for your own food.

“Now that it’s just us do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?” Your voice is soft not pushy, but opening the door for him if he’d like to share.

“Hm it was that obvious huh?” Jeonghan chuckles, but his small smile tells you that you shouldn’t be too worried about whatever was on his mind.

“Well to me it was at least.” You nod resting your chin in your palm as you return his smile.

“I was just thinking that I know you two. You wouldn’t do well at the dorms...either of you with so many new people. And you two both like space in places to work on art and such, so it probably won’t be easy to find an apartment you both think works for you.” Jeonghan explains and you nod again humming in understanding.

“We know, we’re ready to make some sacrifices.” You tell him honestly.

“I know you both are, but like....what if you didn’t have to?” Jeonghan starts to bite his lip now, exhibiting some of his nervous habits which confuses you a tad.

“Did you have something in mind Hannie?” You inquire with furrowed brows as Jeonghan nods.

“I remembered something that would probably work for Y/F/N....for you. What if....I mean I’d like for you to.....I want you to move in with me.” Jeonghan finally stutters out his cheeks flaring up with a pink tint. “Unless you don’t want to of course, but like it’s spacious and we’ll be able to see each other more then. Plus, my place is pet friendly so we could get a puppy like you wanted.” 

You giggle and lean over to give him a small kiss to stop his rambling, “I’d love to move in with you Hannie! Besides you already insisted I send like half my stuff there anyways.”

Your teasing made him blush a little more, but he laughed along with you. Both of you laughing and enjoying dinner together, catching up and making little plans for moving and what to do afterwards.

“Just one more question though...what did you think of for Y/F/N?”You curiously ask raising a brow, which makes Jeonghan chuckle and smirk a little.

“Oh~ About that. Jun’s been looking for a roommate and I’m pretty sure I can get her on board with pictures of the apartment without sharing that little detail. After all we do kinda owe her for all that teasing she did us over that summer.” Jeonghan “innocently” reasons and you laugh mirroring his smirk.

“That sounds like trouble....I love it!”

[averygroovymutant]

My Way Home is Through You

Summary: Dean doesn't cope well with Castiel's death.

Pairing: Dean x Castiel

Warnings: (Temporary) Main Character Death, Internalized Biphobia, LOTS OF ANGST, Spoilers for up to 15.19 - ignores the dumpster fire that was 15.20

Words: 5,221

(A/N: I wrote this pre-finale because I was terrified about what would happen in it, turns out I was right to be. I'm heartbroken. Supernatural really said 'fuck the LGBTQ community', huh?)

(Read on AO3) “I love you.”

Dean stood, rooted to the spot, in utter shock. Cas loved him? Cas loved him? His head was spinning and, honestly, he had no idea what was going on. His best friend was sobbing in front of him and confessing his love while Death was literally banging on the door. There was too much happening and Dean's brain was not working fast enough to process it. Cas' gaze flickered to something behind Dean and he turned to see a dark, gloopy-looking portal had opened.

On the other side of the room, the clumsy warding Cas had applied finally gave out and the door burst open to reveal Billie standing there, scythe at the ready. Dean looked back to Cas in panic, knowing this would be his last chance to say something, anything, to the angel. “Cas, I–” he began, but Cas stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Goodbye, Dean,” he said, and before Dean knew what was happening, he was thrown to the floor.

In a flash, The Empty was on Cas – and Billie – devouring them in a flurry of darkness, and Dean was left alone, in the silence of the bunker, with nothing left of his best friend but a bloody handprint on his jacket.

The world was ending, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to get up. His world had been ripped from him, and he had never even gotten the chance to tell Cas how much he had meant to him. Ten years Dean had wasted, hiding his feelings for the angel, when he could have just been happy. A sob ripped its way free from his throat, and once they started, Dean found he couldn’t stop them.

 ~

 Dean awoke with a start, shaking and sweaty, with tearstained cheeks. He had not meant to fall asleep; he had not slept more than a handful of hours since they had returned to the bunker, after stripping Chuck of his powers, as every time he allowed himself to drift off he was greeted by the same nightmare. He wondered if he would ever be free of the memory, of the pain and regret he felt at the words he had left unsaid, despite the fact he had nothing to lose by finally speaking them out loud.

“I need a beer,” he muttered to himself.

In the kitchen he found Sam, on a video call to Eileen, which he promptly ended once he looked up and saw the state Dean was in.

They sat in the war room together, Dean on the floor, leant against the wall, and Sam at the table. They drank to their newfound freedom, to the people they had saved; to the friends they had lost along the way. But no matter how much Dean drank, he couldn’t stop thinking about Cas, the look on his face as the Empty swallowed him, the words he had uttered to summon it–

“What really happened, Dean? With Cas?” Sam asked suddenly, shaking Dean from his spiralling thoughts. “Jack told me about the deal; Cas was only supposed to be taken when he felt true happiness. I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Concern was written all over his brother’s features and Dean was just the right mix of tired and drunk and fucking heartbroken that he didn’t even try to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. “He said he loved me,” he muttered, looking up at Sam with glassy eyes.

“Oh,” was all the younger man said. No hint of confusion, or surprise - or disgust, Dean noted - just understanding.

How can he just accept that? Dean thought, My entire world has been shattered and he says ‘oh’? How does he not have questions?

Dean had questions – so many questions – but there was one that he had been simultaneously desperate and terrified to ask, ever since Cas had said those words; a question to which he was sure that whatever the answer was, it would break him.

“But what did he mean?”

Sam looked at him, one eyebrow raised in confusion, an invitation for Dean to continue.

“Angels… They don’t feel things like humans,” Dean stated, trying to keep his voice even. “So, what did he actually mean when he told me he loved me?”

“It’s been a long time since Cas was like the rest of the angels, Dean,” Sam said patiently, placing his beer down on the table and looking at Dean seriously. “I’m pretty sure he meant exactly what you think he did.”

Perhaps Dean should have expected that to be the answer – Cas had, after all, said that Dean’s love was 'the one thing he knew he could never have’ – but he had been so deeply in denial that Sam’s answer still shocked him. Shocked him, and broke him, like he knew it would; he had let Cas die thinking his love wasn’t returned because, for all these years, he had been scared of what people might think. Scared of disappointing a father he could never gain the approval of anyway. Scared of losing the adoration of his little brother - but the look on Sam’s face made it very clear that he had had nothing to fear.

“You- you knew?” Dean asked, his voice breaking slightly as he held back the tears threatening to fall.

“It was obvious,” Sam replied simply, a sad smile gracing his features, before adding. “You mean to say, you didn’t?”

Dean pressed his palms against his eyes and shook his head, unable to form any more words as sobs wracked his body.

 ~

 Sam looked down at Dean, sprawled on the floor, whisky bottle still in hand. He had sat on the floor most of the night with Dean as he cried, and drank, and cried some more; he had held his brother as he sobbed into Sam’s shoulder, soaking his shirt through with tears. They weren’t usually huggers, but Dean wasn’t usually a crier either – a lot had changed over the last few days.

Sam had watched as the broken man eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion. He hadn’t wanted to move him for fear of waking him up, knowing the state Dean was in he would never sleep by choice, so Sam grabbed some pillows from his room and placed them under Dean’s head.

He thought back to his call with Eileen earlier, when he had explained to her everything that had gone down. He was desperate to see her but he didn’t know what Dean would do if left on his own right now, so had told Eileen he needed to be there for Dean and Eileen had understood, of course. She had assured Sam that she was fine and he could take all the time he needed to look after his brother, and Sam loved her even more for her compassion. In the days that followed, Sam pottered around the bunker attempting to restore some of its power with spells from the books Rowena had left him. He managed to get the monster radar and alarm system back online and was pretty pleased with himself for that.

Dean was like a zombie, only sleeping when he absolutely couldn’t stay awake or when he drank himself unconscious. Sometimes he started crying over the weirdest things, things Sam never would have even related to Cas. Before, Dean would have tried to hide his pain from his brother, considering it a weakness, but it seemed to Sam as though this sadness was so vast he simply didn’t care anymore.

 ~

 Cas did not know how time worked in The Empty, but he thought it had taken Billie a long time to die. The infection seemed to spread through her body far slower in The Empty’s domain than it had when they had both been on Earth; possibly the creature’s punishment for her unforgivable betrayal. Cas had watched, frozen in place, as her body finally gave out and she dropped to the floor, immediately sinking into a pool of darkness, leaving only her scythe behind.

And then The Empty had turned on him. “I’m so happy I will finally be able to go back to sleep,” it told him. It had been wearing Meg’s face previously, but as it spoke, its form quickly shifted to that of the man Cas had given his life for. “But first, I think you deserve a bit of pain,” as it spoke, The Empty twisted Cas’ insides until he was screaming in agony. “Was it worth it?” The Empty snarled through Dean’s face. “Sacrificing yourself for one man who doesn’t even care about you? Giving up a millennia for a human who will be gone in the blink of an eye… Or sooner than that, even. What you did made no difference; you probably bought him a day, at most. He can’t stop God.”

On and on this went, the taunting, the torture, the constant talk of Dean’s death while the creature wore his face. Cas had no idea how long he had been there, it could have been hours, could have been days – time meant nothing in The Empty. The more The Empty talked, the more Cas started to believe what it was saying. He didn’t regret giving up his life for Dean but maybe, maybe if he had found another way to save him from Billie, he could still be there to protect him, keep him safe from Chuck - help him win.

I shouldn’t have left him.

The Empty threw Cas across the endless stretch of nothingness and Cas collided with something solid.

Curious, he thought, Surely I’m the only thing here?

Another wave of intense pain hit him and he clenched his fists, trying his best to contain the screams threatening to burst out of him. In a brief painless moment, while The Empty taunted him more about Dean’s inevitable death, Cas looked at the item he had collided with.

Billie’s scythe. Suddenly, Cas had an idea. A stupid, crazy idea, but what did he have left to lose? Surely he was dead either way? Picking the scythe up, he turned to face The Empty.

“That won’t kill me,” The Empty cackled, flicking its finger and sending a jolt of pain up Cas’ spine.

Cas gripped the scythe tighter as he grit his teeth, riding out the pain.

“I… don’t need… to kill you,” Cas growled, lifting the scythe towards himself.

Realization dawned on the creature’s version of Dean’s face.

“No,” it screeched. “We had a deal!” It dived towards Cas, sending an intense wave of pain through the angel as it did, but it wasn’t enough to stop him.

With all the strength he could muster he cut into his throat and let his grace drain from him.

There was an explosion of light and Cas felt himself being thrown backwards, through some invisible barrier, as if hitting the surface of water. And then, he finally fell asleep.

 ~

 Dean had been dreaming, for the first time in days, of something other than The Empty taking Cas. Barn walls were shaking around him, light bulbs shattering above his head, and a figure approached with the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.

Dean was ripped from his slumber by an alarm blaring throughout the bunker, Cas’ words still playing in his mind. Dean stretched as he stood up from the kitchen chair he had accidentally fallen asleep in; that dream had been the closest he had found to peace since Cas had been taken from him, yet even in the dream he had not been able to shake the sense of loss and regret.

Dean was unsure how long it had been since they had defeated God – it could have been days or weeks – and he hadn’t left the bunker since they’d returned to it. He knew Sam was worried about him; his random meltdowns over the smallest of things were so out of character it was unsurprising, but he simply didn’t know how to be normal after what had happened.

Dean groaned, reaching for the bottle of painkillers sitting on the kitchen counter as the alarm finally stopped and Sam rounded the corner.

“What was that about?” Dean growled, popping a painkiller in his mouth and downing it with a swig of whisky from the near-empty bottle on the table.

Sam shot him a judgmental look, but didn’t comment on it. “Massive energy spike in Illinois, not sure what it could be but I’m heading to check it out,” Sam said breathlessly, and from the panicked look in his eyes Dean could tell this was something big.

“Okay, give me a minute to get ready,” Dean said, attempting a grin. From the look Sam shot him in return, he didn’t get close.

“I didn’t think you’d want to come,” Sam responded, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion and concern. “You haven’t left the bunker in days…”

“Is that all it’s been?” Dean asked quietly. “Seems like an eternity…" He trailed off as his thoughts wandered back to tear-filled blue eyes and heartfelt confessions. He shut his eyes, willing the pain to go away but knowing it wouldn't. "Anyway," he continued as if nothing had happened. "If it’s that big, you’ll need help and it’s probably time for me to get back to what I do best. Killing things.”

Dean knew he was being less than convincing, but he was hoping Sam would just go along with it.

“I thought that wasn’t who you were?” Sam said softly, and Dean held back a sob as he thought of Cas’ words.

You think that hate and anger, that's what drives you – that’s who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it.

“Let’s just– Can we just get going, please?” Dean begged, and Sam nodded sadly.

“Meet you by the car in ten,” he said.

 ~

 When they reached the location the monster radar had given them, the sun was setting, its golden rays peeking over the horizon as they exited the car and trudged across the field towards the location pinpointed on their GPS. When Dean finally saw where they were heading to, a sense of dread crept over him. He ran ahead slightly, just to make sure this really was what he thought it was.

Straight ahead of them, framed by the setting sun, was a large barn.

“What the hell is this?” Dean growled, angry, but not sure at whom.

“What?” Sam asked, stopping a few meters behind his brother, worried all of a sudden. “Dean, are you okay?”

“This barn!” He shouted as he gestured towards it. “This goddamn barn, Sammy!” He turned on the spot and fixed Sam with a look that made his heart break a little, before falling to his knees.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, running towards the older man and sinking to the ground next to him. “What’s wrong?”

Tears streamed down his brother’s face as he gripped at Sam’s jacket. “It’s the barn, Sammy. It’s the barn!”

“The barn?” Sam questioned, completely and utterly lost.

“It’s where I met Cas, the first time, after he freed me from Hell. This is where we met.”

 Shit, Sam thought, There’s no way that’s a coincidence.

Dean noticed the panic on Sam’s face and tried to calm himself down.

“This is a trap, isn’t it?” He sniffed, rubbing aggressively at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. “It’s gotta be.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, helping Dean back up. “This is definitely not normal.”

 ~

 They entered the barn, slowly, carefully, with their guns drawn and their torches raised. The walls were still covered with the warding Dean and Bobby had painted all those years ago, and there, lying in the center of the devil’s trap they had sprayed on the floor, was a body.

“Is that–?” Sam began, before Dean let out a breathless cry.

“Cas?!”

He rushed towards the lifeless body immediately, ignoring Sam’s shouts for him to wait. Collapsing on the floor next to Cas, Dean cradled the other man in his arms. He looked unharmed apart from some dried blood on his neck, and Dean let out a loud gasp when he realised Cas was breathing, slow and rhythmically.

“Sammy!” Dean tried to shout, but it came out as more of a sob. “He’s alive.”

Sam was still standing by the entrance to the barn, his gun still raised as if he expected an enemy to jump out at any minute which was, of course, a logical assumption.

“Let’s get out of here, Dean,” Sam shouted, worry evident in his voice. “We don’t know who else could be out here, just grab Cas and let’s go.”

Dean gently gathered the angel in his arms and followed Sam out the barn, and back to the Impala. Surprisingly, they saw no-one on their way back to the car, a fact which only caused the boys to grow more suspicious.

“It’s definitely him, right?” Sam asked, as Dean placed Cas in the back seat before throwing Sam his keys.

“I’m as sure as I can be,” Dean replied. “We can do all the normal tests when he’s awake but… I think it’s really him, Sammy. There's just something about him... It... smells like him.”

“Smells like him?” Sam smirked, as Dean got into the back seat and laid Cas’ head gently in his lap.

“Shut up.”

 ~

 A couple of hours into the drive, just about when Dean had started to get really worried about Cas not waking up yet, the other man began to stir.

“Dean?” He said, in a voice even raspier than normal, as he gazed up at Dean in amazement.

“Cas,” Dean choked out, running his hand through the angel’s hair, brushing it from his forehead. “Is it really you?”

“Yes,” Cas replied, a pained expression on his face. “But I–”

“Don’t talk,” Dean said, concern lacing his voice. “It looks like you mighta been injured. We’ll be back at the bunker soon enough and Sam’ll have a look at you.”

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but did as Dean asked and stayed quiet.

When they got back to the bunker, Dean helped Cas to his room and left Sam to do the normal tests, and take a look over him with some of Rowena’s spells. Dean waited in the corridor outside, pacing to start with but after a while he sank to the floor, leaning his head back against the wall.

Cas was alive. He couldn't quite believe this was happening, he had been so sure that this time the angel had been gone for good, but somehow he had managed to pull off one last miracle.

Somehow, he had managed to save Dean one last time.

 ~

 Sam exited Cas’ room about thirty minutes later, a worried look on his face.

“Well?” Dean asked impatiently, jumping up from where he had been sitting on the floor.

“It’s definitely Cas,” Sam told him. “And he’s doing okay... but I think you’d better go talk to him, Dean.”

This did absolutely nothing to ease the knots in Dean’s stomach but he approached the door nonetheless, eager to see for himself that Cas was okay.

When he entered Cas’ room he found the other man sitting up in bed, a white t-shirt on his upper half and blankets pooled around his waist. He looked different without his usual attire, more approachable - more human. There was a small mark on his neck, where the dried blood Dean had seen earlier had clearly been cleaned away from, and a cut on his arm where, Dean assumed, Sam had done the silver test.

“Dean,” Cas said, and he sounded much better than he had when he had last spoken on the drive back to the bunker.

“Cas,” Dean answered shakily, trying to control the mix of emotions that had been building in him ever since he saw Cas’ body lying in that barn. Sam had told Dean he needed to talk to Cas but Cas didn’t seem to be offering up any information as to what they needed to talk about, so Dean took the initiative and asked, “How did you escape?”

Cas’ eyes flitted down to stare at his hands and Dean thought he looked almost ashamed…? He said nothing for several minutes, but Dean waited uncharacteristically patiently.

“Dean,” Cas began eventually. “I know I’ve not been of much use to you recently, since I lost most of my powers–”

“That’s not true, Cas,” Dean immediately interrupted, suddenly feeling sick with guilt about how he had treated Cas over the last few years.

Cas gave him a look and continued. “So it may upset you to know… that I am now human,” Dean looked at Cas, wide-eyed and confused, so Cas elaborated. “The Empty is where angels go when they die,” he explained slowly. “Apart from I wasn’t dead, I had just been taken by The Empty. It wanted to put me into an endless sleep, same as with my deceased brothers and sisters – what I had experienced the last time I died, before Jack woke me up... But Billie’s scythe was there and I thought - it was stupid really – I thought that, as I was technically still alive, if I was no longer an angel The Empty wouldn’t want me… So–”  

“You cut out your grace?” Dean finished, his mouth agape in abject horror as his eyes fixed on the small cut on Cas' neck and he finally put two and two together.

“And The Empty ejected me,” Cas nodded. Dean's heart pounded in his chest as panic and guilt spread through him, he had caused this. “I am sorry, Dean; I didn’t think it through. I was just trying to get back to you all – to help – but now I realise what little help I’ll be. Even now Chuck's gone - even just as a hunter - if I wasn’t of use to you with my significantly reduced powers, what good will I be to you as a human?”

“Is that what you think?” Dean asked fiercely, swallowing down bile as he thought about all the things he had said to Cas to make him feel this way. “Cas, I don’t care. I don’t care whether you have your powers or not. I just care about you. These last few days, I’ve been a mess. I thought you were gone for good and I couldn't cope. Seriously, man, I’m just so, so glad you’re back,” Dean was close to tears at this point so he trailed off, not wanting to start blubbering in front of Cas like he had been in front of Sam the past few days. Cas shot Dean a small smile as Dean gestured awkwardly towards the door, “I’m jus’ gonna… leave you to get some rest for now,” Dean was sure that Cas would need some, and he was hoping that now Cas was back he would finally be able to get some peace himself.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas croaked, as he shut the door gently, and Dean got the impression he was being thanked for more than just leaving Cas to sleep.

 ~

 For days, Dean had been acting weirdly around Castiel; unable to find the courage to mention the words spoken before The Empty had claimed him, waiting for the other man to bring it up first, but knowing he would not. Why would he, when he believed his feelings to be unrequited?

Three days after Cas had returned to the bunker, Sam pulled Dean aside and told him he was finally going to visit Eileen.

“You need to sort this out while I’m gone,” his brother told him quietly, gesturing to where Cas sat across the room, reading one of Rowena’s old books on astral projection.

“Sort what out?” Dean replied, trying to act innocent.

“Don’t pull that shit with me, Dean,” Sam growled, eyes flicking briefly back to Cas to check the other man hadn’t heard him. “I saw how you were after Cas died,” Sam muttered, and Dean felt a jolt of pain go through his heart at Sam’s words – even though Cas was back, it still hurt Dean to think about the time they had spent apart. Sam raised an eyebrow at him, clearly noticing the change in Dean’s demeanour. “There you go,” he said matter-of-factly. “I saw how you reacted to him being gone, and the words he said to you before. Don’t pretend like they weren’t said, just because you’re scared,” Dean opened his mouth to protest but Sam just kept talking. “I know you’re scared, Dean, don’t try to deny it. I know it’s hard to admit what you’re feeling, but you have to know that I will always support you? That I always have?” Dean’s eyes widened at this and Sam’s features softened slightly. “You’re not as subtle as you think, Dean. I’ve known for a while.”

Dean wasn’t sure if Sam was talking about Cas specifically, or if he meant on a wider scale, but he was too overwhelmed to say anything in reply. Overwhelmed with love for his baby brother, overwhelmed that someone he cared about so much accepted him for who he truly was.

“Dean,” Sam continued, placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder comfortingly. “You’re my brother, you raised me. I will always look up to you, and love you for who you are. I just want you to be able to accept this part of yourself, because it has never changed how I view you.  None of our friends – our family – will see you any differently for who you love, surely you know that? Me, Jodie, Donna, Eileen – we all just want you to be happy. So please, Dean, just sort this out. I know it’s hard for you, but just let yourself be happy. Let Cas be happy.”

Dean didn’t know what to say, but he knew Sam was right – and deep down he had known Sam would support him, of course he would – but that didn’t make it any less scary. Teary-eyed, he looked at Sam and nodded.

“Thank you, Sammy,” he said shakily as his brother pulled him into a hug. “I’ll do it, I’ll make this right.”

Sam beamed at him as he pulled away.

“I’ll see you day after tomorrow,” he told Dean quietly, before raising his voice to shout a goodbye to Cas.

Cas looked up from his book and waved as Sam exited the bunker, a bright smile on the former angel’s face, and Dean’s heart skipped a beat.

He knew he wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of his life, and he knew how to make that happen.

He just had to be brave.

Let Cas be happy, he told himself.

 ~

 “Cas,” Dean said, sitting down at the table, opposite the man. “I think we need to talk.”

Cas looked up from his book, his eyes wide. “If this is about what I said before I, uh, left–” he began but Dean interrupted him.

“It is,” he stated, placing his hands on his knees under the table, so Cas wouldn't be able to see how much they were shaking. “I need to know – did you mean it? Did you mean it how I think you meant it?”

“You still doubt you deserve love?” Cas questioned in reply, placing his book down on the table and leaning forward in his seat.

“Don’t dodge my question with all your cryptic shit,” Dean snapped, but there was no real heat behind it. “Just tell me if you meant what I thought you meant.”

“You know I did,” he said seriously, looking Dean right in the eye.

“Okay,” Dean said with a deep breath. “I just didn’t know if we were on the same page, y’know, with you being an angel. I didn’t know if it meant something different to you.”

“I’m not an angel anymore, Dean. And I meant it- I still mean it. I love you.”

It was no less overwhelming the second time Cas said it. Dean felt his heartbeat speed up and his palms grow sweaty – was he really going to do this? After years of shame and guilt and fear, was he finally going to let himself be free? Let himself be happy?

Dean slowly stood and made his way around the table so he was standing next to where Castiel sat. Cas looked up at him, confusion gracing his beautiful features before he stood too. It felt as though his bright eyes were boring into Dean's very soul.

Cas was so close, his face just inches away from Dean’s. They had stood this close many times before during the ten years they had known each other, but never before with the knowledge that Dean held now. His eyes flicked down to Cas’ lips and back up again, all it would take would be leaning in just slightly…

“Dean,” Cas murmured, and he was so close Dean could feel Cas' breath against his lips.

“Cas,” Dean breathed out, reaching up to cup the other man’s cheek, “I’ve felt this way for so long, Cas, but I was just so used to hiding it. I was so full of shame - of fear. I buried this feeling so deep that when you told me you loved me I just– I didn’t know how to react. But now I know, Cas. I just want the chance to make you happy," Dean took a deep breath, preparing himself to admit something he had spent years living in fear of. "I hope you can forgive me for everything I've said, everything I've done in the past to make you feel unappreciated. There's a lot I wish I could take back - a lot I should have said instead - but I wanna try my best to make it up to you. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to say this sooner, Cas... But I love you,” Cas’ eyes widened, as though standing there, mere inches away from Dean, with Dean’s hand pressed to his cheek, he had still not expected to hear him utter those words. “I’m sorry I made you think that my love – that I – was something you couldn’t have, but I want you to know, Cas, I’m yours. If you still want me, I’m yours. Always have been.”

“Dean,” Cas whispered, his hand coming up to cup the back of Dean’s neck gently, tears of happiness glistening in his eyes. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

And with that, at last, Cas pressed his lips to Dean’s, and Dean didn’t feel scared any more.

He was finally happy.

Finally free.

 ~

 From the place where he stood, invisible, in the corner of the room, Jack smiled. He had promised not to meddle in human affairs, and he had kept his word, but he had needed to see this through to the end. Just to make sure that these two people he cared about so much got the happiness they deserved. Now that Cas was human, he and Dean would be able to grow old together, and when they died both their souls would be able to ascend to Jack’s new Heaven, where they could all be together as a family, once again.

***

(A/N Thanks so much for reading, this was my first Spn fic in like five years so I really hope you enjoyed and thought they were in character enough. I know Dean was insanely angsty but I just hated how unbothered he seemed to be by Cas' death. And I don't know if logically Death's scythe should have killed Cas even though he was already in The Empty but I don't really care tbh, my fic makes more sense than those last couple of episodes the CW tried to feed us...)

[yandere-society]

(ex)fuckboy maknae line hcs trying to convince the reader they're willing to settle down for her but the reader keeps refusing, not believing them.

admin / author: @an-ambivalent

Warning: This post contains yandere themes, abusive relationships, and the characters display other behaviours that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read. This is not for the light-hearted so read at your own risk. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display any sort of this behaviour in real life and I do not condone this behaviour either. This work is purely fictional. 

A/N: hello, I sort of used your prompt as a loose guideline. I tried to stick to what you asked for but some scenarios differ slightly from specific details of the request just because I think its good to have this scenario lead to various endings through different choices. Nonetheless, I hope you like it! 

Jimin

It began with pleas. 

“[Name] please, just listen to me,” Jimin begged, and he forcefully cornered you to the quieter side of the bar. He calculatedly situated you in between his body, and the wall to make sure you would not be able to get away. 

He hovered over you threateningly, and it was a position you had long forgotten. However, just like unclean wounds that heal on the surface but deteriorate once they get exposed to the right stimulus once more, Jimin had returned in your life as the infection that would worsen the damage. The scars he left behind had not healed and now, would never heal because he was ready to inject the sick in you once again. 

His touch lacked warmth and felt utterly icy – it was like sleeping with someone with hypothermia – he was going to steal your warmth for himself and then leave you shivering with his own coldness. 

The long forgotten memory of his hurt had remained ingrained in your muscle memory. This was because you instinctively flinched as he grabbed your face with both of his hands firmly, and made you look up into his eyes. 

Pathetic and utter desperation clinging onto the last remains of his sanity was strangely lustrous in his eyes. 

“Baby, you haven’t been replying to my messages… That’s… You know I don’t like that,” He started, and as he spoke, his voice gradually lowered and his eyes narrowed into a glare. Momentarily, he ended up applying a bit more pressure on your face, and you visibly winced. Immediately,  Jimin eased the amount of force he was applying on your face that could have potentially injured you. 

“I, I’m a better person now so I’ll look over that this once. But I-I’m here because I’m ready to settle down with you now. I’m a changed man now I-I swear! I won’t exploit your trust ever again and I’m ready to commit myself. So, you’ll give me another chance won’t you [Name]?” He stammered, and although he was not gripping your face like a tyrant anymore, there was a dangerous glint of the devil etched in his eyes. 

You shook your head. 

“Doesn’t matter what promises you make now Jimin, it doesn’t change the toxicity and hurt you left me with. I– I can’t trust you, not after you cheated on me–” 

“I only did that because I loved you too much! Because I was scared that you were so good for me 

and that I was going to lose you!” He proclaimed, and in response, you scoffed. Fear forgotten, and with a new burning fire in your heart, you shoved Jimin off you. 

“Go take that bullshit to someone else who’s stupid enough to believe you!” You snapped, and turned to walk away. However, Jimin grabbed you by the arm, and roughly pulled you back to him. With his warm breath fanning your ear – it was the warmth that he had started to seep off you without your realisation until this very moment when the cold shivers prickled your skin – his whispered threats killed the newfound determination you thought you had discovered within. 

“I warned you I would only overlook you ignoring me that once. Do it again, or disobey me again, and I’ll upload your private little recorded videos from when we used to be together online.”

(Taehyung and Jungkook under the cut!)

Taehyung

The air in the atmosphere was tense, and the fact that Taehyung’ was close to reaching his breaking point, was evident in the way his irises were empty of emotions. 

What was supposed to be a night of fun, something that would help you destress from all of the other ongoing stress in your life, had turned out to be the opposite; the situation was dire, and its’ twisted plot had just manifested the distress you wanted to get rid off in the first place. 

“You thought I was just a fling?” He asked, and the way he spoke it was posed like a usual question, but you knew better. Beneath his seemingly calm state, there was a volcanic fury on the edge of bursting. The lack of emotion in his voice – a rare phenomena for Taehyung, made you gulp in nervousness. And this nervousness only manifested when you abruptly became aware of the fact that you were having this conversation while you were bare. 

Feeling conscious about the physical aspect of your nakedness was never a problem with Taehyung. With his guaranteed experience that came hand-in-hand with his reputation of being a playboy, it never left any room for dissatisfaction. But much more than that, unlike with anyone else you had ever been with, he always took his time to appreciate – almost worship each aspect of your body. The concept of insecurity was nothing but a fleeting dream in the moments you were involved intimately with him. However, that was not the case right now. So, you could not help but pull the sheets around you closer to yourself, hoping they would provide you with some sort of comforting security. 

“I– You can’t blame me for that can you? With your reputation, how am I supposed to think of this as anything else other than a fling?!” You responded, and the unintentional accusatory tone in your voice, caused Taehyung’s fingers to twitch in anticipation. 

He really hoped you wouldn’t test his self-control again because he could only hold himself back for so long. 

“I told you I loved you, and you said it back.” 

“I– I thought it was an on the spur of the moment kind of thing,” You admitted sheepishly, and then all Taehyung started to see in that moment was red. 

However, before he did something that would have worsened the situation for you or even himself, it was fortunate presently that you were willingly and had decided to speak just in the nick of time. 

“I’m not opposed to becoming serious but I– honestly, I still have my doubts so if you’re willing to prove your loyalty and give me the time I need then we can try,” You offered honestly. Although, your suggestion was not his optimum response, it was better than what you said to Jimin in another alternative universe. 

So, knowing that the situation could be better, but also could be worse, Taehyung decided this was okay… For now. In due time, once he proved himself to you, you were going to give him all of you, and nothing less. 

He gave a smile that was strained ever so slightly. 

“Sure, I’ll wait for you and do whatever it takes to gain your trust. I hope you willingly put the same effort that I do too.”

Jungkook

“You don’t really think you can leave without my permission, do you? Tell me you aren’t that stupid [Name],” Jungkook said, sighing. Then, he rubbed his temples as if to say that dealing with your shenanigans again was a headaching chore to deal with. 

You bit your lip and shifted your gaze to the ground. The small packed bag you held in your hands that consisted of your necessities, was close to slipping out of your grip because your arms were trembling. Whether this was due to sorrow, fear, or both – you did not know. 

“I, I don’t want to be with you anymore Jungkook. I can’t be with you! No matter how much I try to move on from what happened, I just, I can’t deal with it, it’s not healthy for me. You’re not healthy for me. P-Please just let me leave,” You pleaded, and the amount of unease you felt while pleading this, made you feel queasy. 

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and scrutinized you with a  judgemental stare, before he scoffed at you. 

“How many times have we done this now? This is the third time you’ve brought it up. I told you I’m sorry for sleeping with others behind your back, and I promise I won’t do it again. What else do you want me to do?! I can’t go back in time and change the past. Get over it already,” He snapped, and you winced at the harsh loudness of his voice. 

“Why are you so awful–” You started, but Jungkook cut you off. 

“Why are you always nagging me about this? Did you ever stop to think that I slept with others out of my respect for your wishes?! You were the one who wanted to wait for your first time, so I respected your wishes and gave you the time until you were ready and fulfilled my own needs with someone else. And it meant nothing! Each time I slept with someone else it was always you I imagined, and after you became ready to sleep with me, I became ready to settle down with  you,” Jungkook stated, and to him, what he said made perfect sense. He could not understand why you kept on bringing this up and not understand it by now. 

And he was right in the way that you truly did not understand the logic behind his absurd reasoning. If anything, his logic left you feeling completely flabbergasted. The fact that he did not see anything wrong with his actions, and simply apologised for the sake of apologising and did not mean a word of it, repulsed you so much that you lost your touch with reality and were unable to grasp it. 

Seeing the frozen look on your face prompted a sigh out of Jungkook, as he walked towards you. He grabbed your bag out of your hands with one hand, and one of your now free hands with his other. 

He guided you back into your shared abode, reminding himself to arrange something that would prevent your attempts of escape permanently. 

“It’s late at night, let’s sleep on this and talk about it tomorrow,” He said. 

Jungkook decided he either had to lock you up so you could not  get access to your belongings or any money to escape in the first place. Or he would need to induce memory loss to make you forget about the whole sleeping thing so you would stop bringing it up and live together with him in peace. 

—-

I sort of associated fuck boy thing = cheating in this ;;

I sort of wrote and edited this (both) while being half-asleep so that may have contributed to some of the poorer writing ;_; I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless! 

[trulisthetic]

I had a bad day today. I did something stupid and got in an online argument with someone who told me that Jim and Pam were an unhealthy couple. I told her why I don't think that's the case without insulting her and got shot down anyway. What would you make of it?

This turned into a monster-post. Oops.

First and foremost, I’m really sorry that you had a bad day. My understanding is that that “someone” wasn’t very kind and respectful to you even though you were towards them. You know, the internet is such a wild place. Under the cover of online profiles we create for ourselves we sometimes act in ways we wouldn’t in real life. We forget that there is an actual person on the other end and not a heartless machine. And being on the receiving end of that... well, it sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that today.

I get that you feel like you did something stupid - because yes, online arguments don’t often get us anywhere, they only end up frustrating us, even hurting us sometimes. But trust me when I tell you this: If you were respectful and didn’t insult her, then you did absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn’t your fault. They’re the only ones accountable for their behavior. I get that you feel off right now, but really, all you can do from this point forward is; just keep swimming :P 

All that aside, not everyone is going to agree on everything at that is granted. And it is okay. That’s what makes the people that think like us and share our interests so special and beautiful in our eyes, you know? It’s okay if somebody on the internet doesn’t think Jim and Pam are a healthy couple. Maybe they trigger something for them - a reminder of a past relationship that didn’t end well. Or maybe there is no reason for it - this is just the way they view it. All of those are fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would even be interested in hearing them out, because, honestly, I can’t think of how Jim and Pam’s relationship could possibly be considered unhealthy. But from what I understand - and correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just what I got from the way you phrased your question - the person you argued with didn’t really have many points themselves, they were just arguing for the sake of arguing, finding problems when there really weren’t any. And that’s what’s really problematic. When people go out and shout accusations of unhealthy and problematic and abusive relationships, all they do is make a fool out of the REAL problematic and abusive ones. And that’s the true tragedy in all this.

Now onto Jim and Pam themselves. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue; their relationship being considered ‘unhealthy’.

Since day one, Jim and Pam have always ALWAYS brought out the best in one another. And I believe that anyone who argues on this point in particular has been watching a different show. I mean seriously, they were written this way. Their love was, to its core, written to be of the purest kind. They have a strong base as friends, which is the best foundation you can have in a relationship. And they’ve always been each other’s “person”, since the first season. The one they turn to every time they have a problem, like when Pam is frustrated with Roy, or when Jim dies of boredom. They’re partners in crime, their time together is full of the most awe-worthy combination of mischief and touching moments, and just... joy. Have you seen two people happier to just be with each other’s presence? Have you seen anyone’s eyes light up the way Jim’s does every time Pam “chooses him” when she’s “bored” or when she tells him he has “very nice teeth”? Have you seen on anybody else's face that wide smile (with the tongue peeking between the teeth) that Pam gets every time Jim takes a second too long to choose a jellybean flavor, or buys her a coke for a round of jinx? Those two bring the greatest amount of joy to each other, while doing the smaller, most insignificant things. The only thing that could possibly make them wrong would be if their relationship was toxic.

And Jim and Pam’s relationship is not toxic.

Let's look at some signs of a toxic relationship okay?

It feels bad. All the time. Well. I kinda just went through that. The only times it’s felt bad for them was when they were apart, in season 3 mostly, and then in season 9. And yes, they had marital problems. So, SO many couples do, if not every single one. They handled one situation poorly, and it backfired on them, and they drifted apart. And then they found their way back to each other. At this point, I want to quote one of my favorite pieces of writing, ever. I use it a lot, but it applies here so perfectly, so... @acutelesbian said: “A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.” A while later, she reblogged her own post and added: “I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation. The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.” There it is. So. Jim and Pam had some issues during season 9. They didn’t communicate well, they made some poor choices, they didn’t handle the situation they were thrown in very gracefully. And yet they made a choice, the choice to stay and push and fight for their relationship. They went to therapy, together. They opened up, discussed their feelings, communicated, worked out a solution. They chose each other, even though at the time they weren’t each other’s favorite person. They went through a rough patch and came out of it together, stronger than ever. And HAPPY. If that’s not the epitome of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Having said all that, I think I also covered these signs of a toxic relationship:

You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point. 

There’s no effort.

Nothing gets resolved.  So let's move on to the next ones.

You’re constantly braced for the ‘gotcha’. This is for when there’s a trap in every statement or question, and even though everyone makes mistakes, yours are used as proof that you’re too uninvested, too wrong, too stupid, too something. And this is seriously as far from Jim and Pam as humanly possible. They’re seriously the exact opposite of that, always lifting each other up and supporting one another through their mistakes. 

When ‘no’ is a dirty word. “I think I want a wedding-wedding.” “Cranford? No.” “I don’t know if I want this.” “I don’t think you should go to Philly tonight.”

The score card. Let me show you how wrong you are. Before they were together, they both had some “weak” moments, during which they didn’t exactly act fairly. Not once in all these years have we EVER seen one call the other out on their past mistakes. They’re not keeping score, they’re discussing them, dealing with them and moving on. There isn’t a more mature way to go about this.

There’s a battle – and you’re on your own. Again. In every chance they get, in any problem they face with third persons, they always stand by the other’s side and lift them up and support them. Just like when Pam was there for Jim when Ryan made his life hard in s4, or when Dwight terrorized him with the snow in s7. And just like when Jim made the list for Pam when Robert California set her aside, or when he demanded answers by her side from the dude who did call “a dork like that” back. Those two are a team, and not just when they’re planning ways to prank Dwight, or they’re sharing looks across the room over how ridiculous Michael is being.

Privacy? What privacy? Oh, I LOVE this one about them. How they get to be individuals and they are not defined by one another. They get their private time, private hobbies, and that’s such a healthy part of a relationship that so many just overlook. The only time that wasn’t the case was when they were using the world’s smallest Bluetooth - but it was so obvious that they were both craving it so much because they were missing each other, and they were both more than comfortable with it. Until that conversation with her classmate happened, which I’m sure signaled the end of that way of communication for them. But remember all those months they were apart? Remember how Jim TURNED BACK halfway to New York because “I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple”? Remember how respectful they’ve always been of each other’s need for privacy?

The lies. Oh the lies! The only lie between the two (If you don’t count the “I can’t” of Casino Night and the “It was three years ago. I’m totally over it.” of The Secret) was when Jim didn’t tell Pam that he started a business in Philly. Which he told her an episode late, by himself. And it served as the perfect opportunity to show just how steady the foundations of their relationship are, and how much they trust and faith they have in one another and in their love. I’ll never forget how Pam reacted to realizing that Jim is keeping something from her. She didn’t call him out or corner him for answers, she simply waited for him to tell her when he’s ready. Then when the idea of an affair was thrown on the table, Pam shrugged it off, saying “Jim? No. He loves me too much”. And it’s not easy to say that theoretically, much along actually act on it. But when in season 8 Kathy hit on Jim while they were in that hotel, there’s a deleted scene of Jim and Pam on the phone, and Pam is actually joking about the whole thing. It’s impressive and miraculous just how deeply these two trust each other, and believe that they would never hurt the other like that.

Physical or verbal abuse. Or both. We’ve seen Pam being handled roughly by Roy, and then we’ve seen the way Jim treats her, like she’s the most precious butterfly. And HEAVEN HELP ME, the guy was too scared to look at her for too long in the beginning. He’s the most gentle and caring man I’ve seen, in words and actions alike. And the very same goes for Pam. The only time she’s spoken badly to him was when she said “Shut it” as she was storming off Michael’s office when she found out he was dating her mom and Jim knew. And she was clearly very upset and not acting like herself. But we can all agree that this is not a pattern of behavior, and that Jim and Pam have NEVER, EVER been abusive towards one another.

Not including the other in big decisions. This is the only one that’s kinda true. Jim decided to buy his parents’ house, then decided to start a business, then Pam decided to sell the house, all without including the other. Despite those, that was an issue that they were not blind towards, and Pam even brought it up in season 9, and it was one of the problems they worked through at couples therapy. And that’s exactly what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

So there you have it. Those are the main signs of an unhealthy relationship. Wanna hear the definition of a healthy one?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect. Trust. Honesty. Support. Fairness/equality. Separate identities. Good communication. A sense of playfulness/fondness.

In a healthy relationship you:

Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

Maintain relationships with friends and family

Have activities apart from one another

Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

Are able to feel secure and comfortable

Allow and encourage other relationships

Take interest in one another’s activities

Do not worry about violence in the relationship

Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships

Have respect for sexual boundaries

Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship

Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.

Trust each other and be honest with each other

Have the option of privacy

Now, let us all think each and every one of those through. And let’s think about it twice before we accuse perfectly healthy relationships of being toxic.

That’s all I have to say. Sorry, this was so long, and thank you for staying to this point!

All I know is that, for me, Jim and Pam’s relationship - along with that of my parents’ - is the healthiest one my eyes have ever seen. And I feel so lucky to have discovered those two gems. 💜

[purplesurveys]

1048

survey by skiesofsunshine

What would you honestly do if you had a million dollars? Buy sushi and Airpods, give a chunk to my parents, donate another chunk to animal welfare NGOs, save the rest.

Do you pretend to be something you're not to make friends? Not to make friends, because it would be such a hassle if I actually ended up gaining friends from faking myself. But I do sometimes pretend, if it’ll make a certain interaction easier. “Fake it till you make it” isn’t a lie and I learned that more and more as I got older.

When was the last time someone disappointed you? Today.

Are you still in school? Nope, I got out of it just a little less than half a year ago.

Trigger warning for an item immediately below the cut.

Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? [trigger warning] I mean I’ve said it before, but I don’t really plan on making it past 30 and I’m already 22. We’ll see if that changes down the road as I’m always open to hear good reasons to stay, anyway.

Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’ve been very shy for most of my life but I’ve become more and more outgoing in recent years. It still depends on who I am with though, and what their body language tells me.

How many hours of sleep per night do you usually get? 8-10, which is thankfully a healthy amount. I’m always left exhausted after work.

Would you rather listen to new music or the classics? There’s no reason for me to have a preference as I enjoy a good selection from both.

Can you do a cartwheel? Nope.

What does friendship mean to you in your life? Family and loyalty.

What is the closest yellow thing next to you? The lights that we have here on our rooftop.

Do you currently feel any sadness? It has been an ongoing wave for the last three months.

Are you more of an athlete or artist? I am seriously neither. I am not at all an athlete, but I guess that label is at least closer to who I am because I do play table tennis.

Is it hard for you to break the ice with new people? Depends on their personality. Some people may just prefer to be on the quiet side and that’s okay.

Do you judge people by groups or by individuals? I try not to at all?

What do you think was the stupidest movie ever created? I once read about the movie Birdemic and watched it out of curiosity. It was so stupid it was genuinely entertaining.

Who is your hero and why? I try not to have any. It’s nice to have inspirations, but I feel like labeling someone as hero would be a bit too much for me.

If you could be someone else for a week, who would it be? Me, from the beginning of the year. If it counts. I’d rather revisit older, happier versions of myself.

What do you want people to remember you for when you die? Somebody who was selfless. Idk, I don’t wish for too much. I just hope people think I am or was a good person.

Do you always respond to chain letters? Nope.

Would you rather text someone or call them? TEEEEEEEEEXT. I gotta say, I’m getting a lot more calls now that I’m working and I’ve been a little braver in answering them, but I do still hate them. I’d much rather text unless a situation is super complex or complicated that a call would be necessary.

What are you afraid of most? Giving up.

Do you spend too much time online? Kinda, but it’s necessary. I’m working from home so I have to keep my line open to stay connected to my co-workers 24/7.

Are you the type to procrastinate? This was mostly me as a student. I don’t want to fuck up at work, so if I have time to do something I get started on it immediately.

What is your biggest annoyance? Companies who have automated customer service chats. Sometimes I’ll have a very specific inquiry only to be greeted by a bunch of buttons to categories with already-given answers, and I end up never fixing my problem.

Do you use any drugs? Erm, nothing even mildly alarming, I guess.

Do you believe that you'll always be a kid at heart? For sure.

Are you currently in a relationship? No.

What do you like to do for fun? God I’ve taken an entire week to take this lol...work has me beat. I spend my days alone now, and I have the most fun and fulfillment when I take myself out for dates at coffee shops :) It lets me take surveys in an environment I’m comfortable with (other than my room), and I also get to look out the big windows and just reflect and be at peace for a few moments. I’m also getting more and more into embroidery and thankfully there’s loads of embroidery kits online that already come with templates and instructions.

Do you have a job? Yes. It’s normally incredibly hectic to the point that I can feel the burnout coming in even though I’ve only been in the role for a little more than a month. But with today being the second-to-the-last-day before our office closes for the holidays, so many people are on leave and I actually have time to continue this in the middle of the day.

Can you type without looking at the keyboard? That’s how I normally type. I haven’t had to look in like a decade now.

What is something you want to improve on this year? Kinda too late to ask this don’t you think? Hahaha. Uhm, I did a lot of growing this year, I’d say. Most of it forceful, but still necessary. I’m proud of myself for making it to the end. I really am. Mostly because I can remember how determined I was to leave just a few months ago. I grew a lot, and I’m proud. I wish other people have seen the growth too, because I’ve tried really hard.

Do you have any pets? Yeah, I have two dogs.

What is your dream car? A Mini Countryman or Clubman. I don’t really care which but I’d love to have either.

How many times a day do you get angry? Depends on how many mistakes I make at work.

If you could, would you want to stay young forever? It was great to have fewer things to worry about as a kid, but I enjoy the freedom and independence that come with being older a lot more.

Are the books better or worse than the movies? That’s usually the case, but of course it applies differently to all books/movies.

Are you afraid of the dark? No, but like I’ve said before it’s only scary if the darkness is meant to be an element of a bigger scary thing. Like if I’m in a haunted house and all the lights went out or something like that.

If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? Sushi.

Are you a racist person? No.

Do you ever feel like people use you? I try not to think about it.

Do you keep in contact with your friends during the summer? Back when I was in school and summer was still a thing, yeah.

What is your favorite month of the year? April.

Does bad grammar get on your nerves? Only if it’s from someone I dislike, hahahaha

If you were going to die right now, what would your last words be? I would be alone, so I’d rather go through it in silence.

Does Jeopardy make you feel dumb? Sometimes. Aw, this question made me sad because Alex Trebek :(

What is/was your worst subject in school? Chemistry.

Are you a sarcastic person? Eh, I can be. I don’t whip it out too often though.

What role does religion play in your life? It made me realize I should avoid having a religion.

Can you sleep with your eyes open? ???