#but honestly same i would have been too preoccupied with my aching limbs and the fog of death

[legacyofmistakes]

Legacy of Kain: Blood Omen 2

Janos Audron my beloved you have wings why didn't you use them--

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 14

(...) some kind of self-preservation had apparently prevented Damen from rolling inward during the night; from throwing his arm over Laurent’s torso and drawing them together to make the small tent seem larger than it was. it's crazy to me that laurent probably wouldn't even have gone violent over this, if it had happened

As a result, Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. well, okay, damen doesn't seem to agree with my assessment above lol

jord is probably the least hateful person in all of the kingdoms <3

In the men’s eyes the feat was reflected as the wild, impossible thing it was—their Prince vanishing for two days, then appearing out of the night with a sackful of prisoners thrown over his shoulder, tossing them at the feet of his troop and saying: You wanted them? Here they are. honestly, laurent and damen both sound terrifying lol

'Thirty to one, at least,’ said Damen. love how he made sure to mention that hhh

Paschal snorted. Then he said, ‘It’s a good thing you’re doing, standing with him. Staying with him, when you have no love for this country. i really don't think i'll be able to handle laurent finding out who damen is :(

It would not be like this again. man, damen makes me so sad. i know he wants to be home more than anything, but it also feels kind of wistful, the way he thinks about these past few weeks. as usual, my heart aches for him

'Here,’ said Damen. ‘Let me.' damen recognizing how exhausted laurent is and immediately offering his help... i'm crying

'Stiff?’ said Damen, casually. "casually"... right

Laurent said, ‘The soldiers in Kastor’s army are trained in massage?' haha he's so lippy

'Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses. Laurent did not relax at all, just stood unmoving. i love this <3 but also, damen does not think of himself as having suicidal impulses? "i speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart" was literally the first thing he said to laurent lol

i wish laurent could let himself be comfortable :( obv i know why he can't, but i feel so sorry for him every time he tries to hide all of his emotions/physical reactions/etc.

ohhh damen is such a softie

When Laurent turned to face him, his eyes were dark. His lips were parted uncertainly. He had lifted his hand to his own shoulder, as though chasing a ghost touch there. He did not look exactly relaxed, but the movement did look a little easier. As if realising that, Laurent said, almost awkwardly, ‘Thank you.' (...) oh god. i love him so much. i forget sometimes that he's... 19? 20? and he's been entirely on his own for so long, left alone with his trauma that he hasn't had the chance to work through because he's been preoccupied with trying to avoid being killed by his uncle... it's painful to think about why he is the way he is

'Your eyes say, “For now,”’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.”' i don't know how to express how much i love this sentence

'I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time. (...) I LOVE THEM. i love their conversations so much. never a dull moment, so much angst, so much pain, but they match each other so well that there's always a bit of hope for a better future for both of them too <3

Damen found he’d moved without realising it, his fingers lifting to touch the bruised edge of Laurent’s jaw. He said, ‘The man who did this to you.' does damen ever think about what he wants to do before he does it???

'No. Wait. I . . . wait.' laurent is SO different around damen that sometimes i genuinely can't comprehend that this is the same laurent from book 1

'What Govart said about my brother and I . . . it wasn’t true.' auguste !!! (also, what an abrupt change of subject...? interesting. and, of course, fuck govart and the regent and anyone else who's ever burdened laurent with all of these stupid rumors. how fucking gross of his uncle, when it was him all along, to lie like this. plus, if he's using i*ncest/p*edophilia as a means to ruin laurent's repuation, then that means he knows what he's been doing to all of these boys is disgusting, so...???? i don't get it. he's the fucking worst and i want him to die.)

'I mean that whatever . . . whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.' i am about to cry. these books are ruining me :(

(...) 'You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair . . . In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed. WHAT. WHAT????? oh my god i AM crying lol

this is so fucking sad i feel so horrible for laurent

also, what a HUGE compliment????

incredible that all this time, laurent has been beginning to really appreciate damen and damen didn't even realize :((((

i had to put this book down for a moment lol

Laurent said steadily, ‘I have your oath that you will see this border skirmish through to its end? Then you have mine: stay with me until this thing is done, and I will take off the cuffs and the collar. I will release you willingly. We can face each other as free men. Whatever is to fall out between us can do so then.' i am SO sad. i don't want them to separate and i absolutely do not want them to fight each other :(

god. what a chapter.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Separation AU Part 2!

@grant-likes-minecraft and @shadeswift99, this is for you! Part 2 of the Impulse/Skizz Separation AU, inspired by your posts earlier.

...

  When Doc had first shown Team ZIT his infinity portal, claiming it could take you to the place you most wanted to go, their initial reaction had been to laugh knowingly, because how could there be a place other than Hermitcraft where they would want to go? 

  But Impulse found he couldn’t stop thinking about this mysterious portal, so he returned to it the next morning and sat down in front of it, staring into the swirling pink vortex and wondering what would happen if he went through.

  His mind jumped guiltily back to someone whom he hadn’t thought about in several months. Would this portal take Impulse back to… to HIM? 

  It had been four and a half years since Impulse and Skizzleman had been separated. For a long time, Impulse’s heart had been split between Hermitcraft and his old friend, but lately, he had been pouring a hundred percent of his energy into his projects, and that wasn’t even including how busy he had been with Grian and Ren, protesting against Area 77. There was no time for nostalgia. 

  But now that all that was over, he had time. He could just sit here for a few hours, thinking and remembering. All the good times he had had with Skizzleman over the years. He had new best friends in Tango and Zedaph, of course. But did he love his life with them more than he missed his life with Skizzleman?

  After a long time, he came to the conclusion that if he stepped through this portal, it would likely take him back to Skizzleman. 

  So NOW the question was… did he want to do that? Did he want to leave Hermitcraft behind for this one-way trip back to the world he and Skizzleman had grown up in? Would his best friend even still be there, still waiting for him? 

  “Hey, Impulse!” 

  Impulse jerked so hard he nearly fell over. Glancing to his left, he spotted Zedaph coming towards him, hands in his pockets. “Oh, hey, Zed. How’s it going?”

  “Oh, not too bad.” Zedaph sat down beside his friend, giving him a sideways look. “You, on the other hand, look like you’ve been thinking a little too intensely for a little too long.”

  “I think I have,” Impulse sighed. “It’s this portal, man. Doc said it’ll take us to where we most want to go.”

  Zedaph’s gaze flickered from Impulse to the portal, then back again a few seconds later. He had been told long ago the story and circumstances of how Impulse had come to be on Hermitcraft, and it certainly didn’t take a genius to figure out what Impulse had been thinking about. “Are you gonna go through it?”

  Impulse’s lack of an immediate response worried Zedaph. “I don’t know, honestly. It could take me back to my best friend, which I never thought possible after I got summoned here, but… I’m still thinking about whether I want that or not.”

  “Ah.” Zedaph cleared his throat. “Well… for what it’s worth, I think you’ve got a good life here. Whatever might be waiting for you on the other side of that portal, is it worth giving up Hermitcraft for?”

  Impulse hesitated, his gaze fixed on the portal again. “I guess… I better think about this some more.” Realising how late it was getting, he rose to his feet and stretched his limbs. “I’m gonna go home and get some sleep. See you tomorrow, man.”

  Zedaph nodded back. “See you tomorrow.”

…

  “Zed, I’m… I’m a little scared,” Tango admitted to his best friend. “I saw the way Impulse was looking at that portal when Doc showed us the other day. I-I’m scared he’s gonna leave.”

  “Really?” Zedaph frowned. “Why?”

  “Because… Because it was my idea to summon him from his own world and bring him here. It was my fault he got ripped away from Skizzleman forever. What if he’s gonna take this opportunity to go back to him? What if… What if he wants to be with Skizz more than he wants to be here, on Hermitcraft, with us?”

  Zedaph hesitated, wondering whether or not to tell Tango what he had seen yesterday. 

  “I mean, I don’t regret bringing him here,” Tango added. “Not at all. These last few years have been some of the best of my life, and it only got better when you joined. I just… can’t help feeling guilty. And scared.”

  This helped Zedaph make up his mind. “Then… there’s something you should know.”

  He quickly told Tango about his encounter with Impulse at the portal.

  “...and then he went home,” he finished. “I’m really worried about him; it sounds like he was only a few seconds away from going through that portal yesterday.”

  Tango stared at him, another pang of guilt shooting through his heart. “He’s been on Hermitcraft nearly five years; isn’t he happy here? Would he really just leave us…?”

  “I don’t know,” Zedaph replied quietly. “I just think maybe you should talk to him, see if you can get a more accurate impression of his thoughts.”

  “Yeah, I think I will.” 

  Sure enough, later that night, Tango went round to Impulse’s base and knocked on the door. Receiving no reply, he entered and made his way quietly up to Impulse’s bedroom to check if his best friend was sleeping.

  But Impulse’s bedroom was empty. 

  Sighing, Tango went to the window and looked out, but saw no sign of his friend. As he turned away, he accidentally knocked the flower pot off the window ledge, causing it to roll almost under Impulse’s bed. He knelt down to pick it up but that was when he spotted something unusual underneath his friend’s bed. After putting the flowerpot back in place, he reached under and pulled it out.

  It was an unzipped duffle bag, with items Tango recognised as some of Impulse’s most precious possessions inside. 

  His heart stopped. 

  He… He really is going to leave…!

  Tears filled his eyes, but he quickly shoved the bag back under the bed and fled. 

…

  Unable to sleep, Impulse was back at the portal, his mind and heart aching with painful thoughts and feelings. Why didn’t he want to leave? Here was a way to finally be reunited with the person he loved most in the universe, and here he was, hesitating. Had things really changed that much in over four years?

  Yes, yes they had, he realised. He had grown as a person more here than he ever had in his world with Skizzleman. And that wasn’t his fault, right? In an environment where he was surrounded by close friends and his skills were challenged every day, it was only natural he would grow and change. He wasn’t the same Impulse who had been plucked from his world all those years ago, and he would be willing to bet Skizzleman wasn’t the same person who had watched his best friend disappear in front of his eyes. 

  It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t ask to be brought here. Maybe at first he had only stayed because he had known there was no way back, but he had settled here. Made a new life. 

  Hermitcraft was his home, and nothing would ever change that. 

  But Skizzleman was also his home. He had been Impulse’s home for far longer than Hermitcraft had been. 

  So where would this portal even take him…?

...and did he even want to find out?

…

  A few more months went by. The first few weeks after the introduction of the portal were the tensest ever in Team ZIT’s friendship, but as time went on, the portal became just another memory in the back of their minds. 

  All too soon, season 6 had ended and season 7 was upon them. At the first meeting on their new world, Tango couldn’t help sneaking glances at Impulse every now and then. He seemed happy, if a little preoccupied. A new world, a new life. 

  One without the infinity portal.

  Tango couldn’t shake his guilt. Of course he was relieved that Impulse hadn’t gone through the portal, but he couldn’t stop thinking about why. Why he hadn’t left when he had the chance. Surely that meant Impulse was happy here, right? He was happy on Hermitcraft. He was happy with Tango and Zedaph. 

  But it had been Tango’s idea to summon Impulse to Hermitcraft in the first place. The guilt had gnawed away at him for so long, only fading in the latter half of season three, when it became clear that Impulse was settling into his new life. Now it had been reignited. Would it have been better to let Impulse go? Was it selfish of him to keep Impulse here? WAS he the only thing keeping Impulse here?

  Not knowing was absolute torture.

  But as Team ZIT split off from the group to explore their new world together, Tango noticed how Impulse was chatting happily with Zedaph, even playfully shoving him into a bush. It was as if all thoughts of the infinity portal had simply vanished from his mind. 

  So Tango did his best to forget as well, and soon, he was able to relax and mess around with his best friends, the three of them laughing as they discussed their plans for the season. 

  But none of them would ever truly forget.

[canonconspiracy]

Choices (Jasper Hale x Reader)

AN: This one is a...little different, and I’m honestly not sure where to place it on my AO3 or Wattpad yet, so it’ll be a tumblr exclusive.

Fandom: Twilight - SPN Hunter Reader

Pairing: Jasper Hale x Fem!Winchester!Reader

Warnings: Combat?

WC: 1779

Choices, decisions you made on your day to day, had been much different when you were a Winchester.  You thought that moving to Forks, Washington would have taken you away from everything, but your brothers knew as well as you did that the monsters don't just stay away.  Not only had you fallen in love with a monster, but you had been targeted by another.  

You would never call Jasper a monster, nor any of his family.  They were good vampires, vegetarians as they would call themselves.  Though you knew your brothers wouldn't understand your choice of paramour, they had been hunting while you grew closer to the Cullen family.  Finding yourself growing closer to them, you had also found yourself growing close to a young woman named Bella, one who had made the same decision you had.  She had chosen to be with Edward, and now the two of you had been driven out to a hotel far, far away from Forks.  

The tracker changed his course, and within minutes, decisions were to be made.  Had you been thankful that you had your hunting supplies with you?  Of course, as you watched the brunette making her way past Alice Cullen and her mate, you knew the only decision that was to be had.  Though the Cullen family had never seen a hunter in action, they were about to.  Everyone was about to.  

Following the woman out, taking a taxi cab to the location that Bella already mentioned, had not been difficult at all.  Dead man's blood, a machete, and a plan formulating on your side was what you needed.   There was a human in danger, and she was endangered by a true monster.  Everything about this set up had trap written all over it.  

Moving with stealth, you saw the moment that the monster, James, had Bella pinned against the wall.  He was clearly cocky, talking down upon the woman as he pulled out a camera.  Surely he had not expected a human to jump into action, nor had he known a lick about what dead man's blood did to a vampire.   The syringe had taken mere seconds upon sneaking behind the vampire to administer to his neck, before you moved to pull the brunette away from the male.  

"What did you just do to me, you bitch?!" He clamored, his voice shrill as he moved to grab the aching in his neck.  The ache burned, acidically eating away at the immortal as he screamed.  It took seconds for him to move his red eyes back to the two of you, a glower in his gaze.  "You're going to pay for that." 

"Bella, go!" You exclaimed, moving in front of her as you made some distance between the human and the vampire.  "Come on, fangs, let's dance." 

His movements had been slowed from the aching pain coursing through his body, the dead man's blood seeping through his veins.  Though he came at you at a decent speed, you still found yourself dodging as you wielded your machete, soaked in dead man's blood.  Each strike you made to the man, though it had not wounded him more than a touch, still caused him to exclaim in pain.  

"You're going to regret ever taking this chase," you growled, your body thrown back into the mirror behind you.  The mirror shattered, and you were sure your arm had been bleeding, but you knew you had him on the ropes.  All you could hope was that Bella managed to get out safely, as you charged back at the man.  "I came to Forks for peace, not for this bullshit." 

"Well, let me end your suffering," he chided back as he lunged upon you once more.  

With a skillful strike, you watched as his head went tumbling to the floor.  In that moment, watching the vampire drop to his knees, headless in front of you, a smile crossed your face.  Your veins raced with the adrenaline of the kill, the adrenaline of saving the woman's life.  

Your trek had not been over as you realized there was more steps to this supposed kill.  Edward had mentioned in the car about how the limbs were to be severed, and the body to be burned.  With a soft sigh, you glanced from the body, back to where Bella had been cowering wide-eyed in the corner of the room.  

"You may want to look away," you warned as you readied your blade once more.  

"I mean, it's a little too late for that," she said in a small voice as you moved to sever the first arm.  

By the second, the two of you had not been alone, though you still finished what you had started.  Your arm ached with each strike, but as you had the vampire in a pile, you could hear the floorboards being cracked clean off.  The Cullen family moved to light the flames for you, while you stood back, wiping your brow.  

"You took him down by yourself, Darlin'?" You could hear the southern drawl of Jasper in your ear.  "Do you understand how dangerous that was?" 

"I'm a hunter, Jasper," you said as you tucked your machete back into your bag, a sullen look against your lips.  "It's in my blood, and this one wasn't nearly as bad as some of the monsters we've faced." 

"Is that how you see me?" Jasper asked, his voice cracked as his lips curled to a frown.  "My family?" 

You shook your head, allowing your y/h/c locks to bounce as you did.  Y/e/c orbs shifted to his amber eyes as you breathed out, "None of you are monsters.  Djinn who feed upon humans, crossroads demons who kill for fun, even angels who simply see us as playthings, now those are monsters.  Some humans are monsters, too, Jasper." 

"I believe you, Darlin'," Jasper said with a smile, though his hand was placed against his face as he spoke.  The scent of your blood was already getting too strong for him, and he knew he had to walk away from you.  He had waited until Bella caught your attention to go by the others.  

"What's a djinn?" You could hear Bella ask from behind you, causing you to cringe.  "And angels, demons...those are simply religious folklore." 

Sighing, you said, "I'd rather you believed that, but vampires aren't the only playing cards on the field.  Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, just a little shaken up," Bella replied with a reassuring half smile.  Her smile quickly turned to a frown as she noticed your arm.  "You're bleeding, though." 

"I'm alright," you said with a reassuring smile, before you realized Jasper's presence had been replaced by Carslie.  

"Let me see," he said in a soothing tone, holding his hand out for your arm.  As he examined your wound, he frowned, before reaching in his pocket to bring what looked like a kerchief out.  Wrapping it around your wound tightly, he continued.  "You're going to need stitches, but it's not bad.  I-I feel we should thank you for taking care of James.  I'm impressed, and a little intimidated.  How did you do that all on your own?" 

"Dead man's blood," you said with a sheepish smile.  "And technically, I got the dose in when he was too preoccupied with Bella.  My machete is coated in the stuff as well."  After a pause, you found your lips drop to a frown.  

"I don't think I've even heard of that," he said with a soft chuckle.  "Let's get you stitched up, though." 

*** 

After your arm had been stitched, you realized that Edward had already taken Bella back to her home.  She had been adamant in the car about apologizing to her father, and you couldn't blame her for going without so much as a goodbye.  Beside you now sat Jasper, in front of you a nearly grinning Carslie.  

"That should be all better now," Carslie confirmed.  "And thank you again.  Unfortunately, Victoria got away from us." 

"Surely she knows I'm a hunter, if they had not already, and she'll come prepared," you said with a huff.  "I'm willing to help any way you all need." 

"Darlin', didn't you say you wanted to get away from hunting?" Jasper jested beside you, placing a chilled hand upon your own as he smiled.  "Isn't that why you're out here?" 

"I told my brothers I'd be getting away from the supernatural entirely," you said with a chuckle, "and I'm sure this is the opposite of what they expected.  It's not like I can sit this out, though." 

"Well, you're not wrong," Carslie chimed in with a frown.  "She will likely be targeting you." 

"I may be able to make a call and get a search party," you said with a sigh.  "But that's a conversation I need to work up to with my brothers." 

"For now, rest," Carslie interjected quickly, shifting his amber eyes from you to Jasper.  "Make sure she rests." 

"Come on, Darlin'," Jasper cooed with a grin against his lips, gently tugging your hand to get you to stand with him.  

With a light tint of blush against your cheeks, you allowed yourself to be led out to the living room, and then upwards into the upstairs.  Heading to Jasper's room, he motioned for you to sit on his couch, before curling up beside you.  Stroking your cheek gently, he allowed you to lie against his chest, everything at peace.  

"So, are you really okay?" He questioned as his hand moved to your y/h/c locks, gently stroking them as he felt your body calm.  

"Here, in your arms, of course," you murmured with a smile against your lips, closing your y/e/c eyes.  "My brothers have both tried to escape, at one point or another as well.  The younger of the two, Sammy, actually had a long relationship with a demon while my eldest brother was in purgatory and I was rotting in hell."  You allowed a chuckle to escape your lips.  "So, honestly, this is the best I've felt in probably my whole life." 

"I don't want to let anything like that happen to you ever again," he whispered soothingly as he stroked your hair.  "I mean, we both sound like we have pretty colorful pasts, and you're, what, twenty?" 

"Yeah, but I've died about three times," you replied with a shrug.  "Time goes significantly slower in hell, so it could be speculated." 

"Well, you're here now," he said softly.  "And I'm not going to let you suffer through that ever again."  As he spoke, he moved to press a gentle kiss against your head.  

[ohohosero]

daydreams

bakugo x y/n

You were known to never fall short in the creative field. There was always a daydream you were clinging on to during your daily life, no matter what were doing. Your mind always being a little too dull to be in active conversations with other classmates. They didn’t mind it, because your quirk depended on the creativity of your daydreams.

But up until recently, there’s been an individual who has been in the center of your day dreams for a couple of weeks now. He’s been keeping your mind more busy than it ever has and it honestly has made your social interactions deplete. Simply because you become so preoccupied with just the thought of him you can’t speak anymore.

It was Katsuki Bakugo.

The worst possible pairing for you honestly. Your quirk was “fantasy land”, it created hallucinations based off the dreams of your days. Its weakness was rude awakenings, awakenings that Bakugo makes all the time. He’s always shouting from the back of the classroom. Always berating others and constantly bullying poor Deku.

You knew exactly how you felt and the cause these sudden intrusions on your mind, but like hell would you accept it. He’s the exact opposite of your own personality. A soft delicate soul whose mind was never quite there, forever lost in a dream that could never exist.

And now all of sudden your mind was slamming these, these, these attractions to Bakugo at you? The audacity.

Just how exactly would you ever be able to fight with Bakugo constantly bringing you to reality every time? Asui to your right roughly shakes your shoulder, bringing you down from a day dream high.

“y/n-chan are you okay?” you smile and nod your head yes with the usual absentmindedness you held.

“Oi, Oi, OI DEKU,” from behind in the way back of the classroom, someone shouted in the once peaceful atmosphere. Your mood sank down really quickly and your head slid onto your desk as a way to escape the chaos. You crossed your legs underneath the desk being wary of how the skirt went in case Mineta’s eyes were wandering.

The commotion continued to die down in your ears as you began to slip back into your daydreams and thoughts flooding of Bakugo once again. But it was really short lived because a body came crashing into yours just seconds later. Breath left your body in a rash exhale as it was knocked out of your lungs and your head got banged against the person sitting in front of you.

“Bakugo!” someone yelled. Your back started to ache as the other being sprawled out on your back pushed off you rather roughly.

“Why the hell did you throw me dumbass!” that was unmistakingly Bakugo’s voice yelling behind you. Your body thumped at the thought of having physical interactions with him, even if it was because he was thrown into you.

“Enough about that, you guys hurt y/n!” Uraraka yelled next to you. You could feel her hands paw at your shoulder and then at your neck to check to see if you were still breathing. Seeing as you were, she let out a huge breath of relief and proceeded to whirl back around and lecture the hell out of the boys involved in the incident.

As she was unleashing hell on them you took your head off of Todoroki’s back. He was just as stunned as you were when he turned around to look at you. Muttering a small apology you went to rise out of your chair, the feeling of your skirt cascade back down your legs. Your head was starting to throb a little not only due to it being bashed into Todo-kun’s back, but because the overwhelming thoughts of Bakugo.

It was conflicting and it caused you great milestones of stress. The left side of your brain was pulsating with every step you took to get out of the room. What you were experiencing was another set back from your quirk - overproduction. Being in a dreamy mental state was always good for your quirk, but being knocked out of it too many times a day only to return to deep thoughts right after causes trauma.

The door slid to the left and right back as you closed it behind you. Heading straight to Recovery Girl would be your best bet. There’s not much she can do, but the rooms of beds in there is just as good as any medicine for you. Students passed by you roaring and making much noise if they were walking with close friends. You don’t want to admit it, but even though you’re on friendly terms with everyone in the classroom, you don’t have someone walking you to the nurse’s office.

And in a world filled with daydreams, it is one of the most loneliest things.

Your feet lazily dragging the rest of the way, you slid open the door to Recovery Girl’s office. In her chair, she swirled back around with her feet just slightly hanging over the seat. Recognizing you, she gestured to one of the spare beds with her hand. Closing the door behind you, you went to the bed.

Lying down was the best medicine for you, but it leaves you alone with your thoughts. Your thoughts aren’t always daydreams with rainbows and images of Bakugo. It’s inescapable the feeling of loneliness accompanying you along the way to the room. Lying down next to you in bed and cuddling into your neck, whispering doubts and miseries into your ear. You’re able to block them out because you know that his alluring words have no meaning or any truth to be held to them.

But it does get annoying.

Ignoring the soothing voice of the physical embodiment of loneliness, you drift into a dreamless sleep.

Bleary eyes and stiff limbs were a result for sleeping like plank for the past hour. Your headache was gone and the cold comfort that was canoodling you disappeared as well. Surprising, he’s always there with a good morning kiss of gloominess. In his place was a weight on your right leg, unfamiliar to you. With the creaking of your neck, you looked to side and saw spiky, fluffy blonde hair resting their head on the bed. Their hand was gripping your thigh as they calmly sat there.

You blinked once, then twice. This is a daydream right? Have finally lost the grips of reality and dripped off into the realm of your mind? Are you dreaming now?

Bakugo had the weird sense that someone was watching him and when he raised his head, he saw that he was right. You were quizzically gazing at him, your eyes far away in whatever land you wanted to reside within your mind. He released his hand from your thigh with a cough and sat up straight in the chair Recovery Girl gave him to sit in.

“Why are you staring at me like that dumbass,” his words were harsh on your ears and it rudely made you escape the daydream occupying you. Waking from a daydream to such a rude awakening always hits you like jumping into a cool pool on a hot summer day.

“Why are you here?” you answered back with a question. It seemed to catch him off guard because his back straightened a bit more and he was no longer looking into your eyes. He was seeming to find the wooden floors of the room rather interesting.

It took him a bit of time to find an appropriate answer that wouldn’t sound like he was worried for you or anything...

“You just disappeared after I rammed into your back in the classroom and round face made me go look for you, don’t think anything else of it,” you saw right through him. There’s absolutely no way that Uraraka-chan would send this hot-head to come and look for you. She knew how violent he was and what an opposite he was to you. No balance in anything you two did together. Whether it be you were fighting against or which each other in hero training.

“Oh okay, well thank you,” you had a dreamy smile on your face and went to place a hand on his shoulder. Bold move you were initiating there. If you were right about your skeptics, you’d be on cloud 9 more than you were right now. If not? Well that’s something to think about if he slaps your hand off of him. After two seconds of your hand being on his shoulder he didn’t move or away or show indication that he would reject your physical touch.

Instead he started insulting you the way Bakugo does with everyone, well he was more scolding than anything else. But his use of the word dumb ass was extremely potent to your quirk. Every time he said it was like feeling the scorn of the earth being thrown at you. Each time the word was spoken you flinched from it, barely noticeable to everyone else. But after four uses of the word Bakugo picked up on the subtle action, your eyes flickered and your smile would falter for the split of a second.

So he stopped using it.

It took you a minute of him speaking for you to notice, but my god when you did your heart swelled. Did he notice how you felt about that word and what it did to you? It was very surprising seeing that is was one of his most Favorited words to use regarding his vocabulary. You smiled a little wider now, even though he was scolding you, he was mindful of harsh words being used.

You pulled the cover on you legs further up your body as it was getting a little chilly. Bakugo didn’t seem to mind the slight lower temperatures but he noticed that you did.

“Give me your hand dream boat,” you flushed at the compliment but he didn’t seem to know that it was a compliment. Just another nickname. You took your hand from underneath the cover and let it rest in his. His hands were surprisingly smooth and only slightly bigger than yours. But what was most evident was the heat emitting from his palms, was he trying to warm you up? It was silent in the room for a minute or two before Bakugo broke the silence, still busying himself with warming your hands with his own.

“y/n, I know I’m damn awesome but I also know that I’m not gentle enough for you. I’m not good at it and I’m not good at being quiet either,” he admitted a little loud in the silent room.

“It’s difficult to be considerate of how my words affect you, you’re just so damn weak sometimes y/n,” he scoffed at you. Only he can insult you and compliment you so genuinely at the same time.

“Bakugo-” you tried to start but the look he gave you shut you up immediately.

“What is it, why the hell did you stop talking,” he aggressively spoke. You blinked.

“You looked like you were going to kill me,” Bakugo gripped your hands a little more tightly now and squinted his eyebrows menacingly at you.

“What the hell does that mean?” he questioned.

“You’re doing it right now, your face,” you gestured to the mirror on the wall next to the beds. He got up quickly and went to look and sat there for a minute. You watched him in the mirror as he examined himself. He grunted before back around to look at you.

“All I see is a damn handsome man,” he turned went back to the chair he was sitting in. He grabbed your hands again and went back to what he was doing with warming them up.

“But y/n, as I was saying earlier I don’t have a fu-” he paused then continued, “a fricking clue on how to be gentle for you, so if this is too rough let me know,” you tilted your head in confusion at what he meant. That didn’t make any sense, he’s been so gentle with you since he came into this room.

“What do you mean,” you questioned. His red eyes stared into yours before he ‘tched’ himself then grabbed the back of your head. It wasn’t too much of a forceful action, but he did bring you closer to his face in order to kiss you.

Like actually kiss you. Your lips on his lips, his lips on your lips. Playing the tango of the tongues (not really) swapping spit, sucking each other’s face. The whole gist of it.

You weren’t day dreaming it this time.

[moonynpadfootforever]

April 20th

@mvnvgedmischief I hope you like this lol

content warning: drug use

Remus was not going home for the spring holiday. Last night was a full moon and he didn't feel up to traveling. Besides, he wanted to spend the time off studying for the upcoming NEWTs. James and Peter were going to their respective homes; Sirius, despite Remus's protests, was staying at Hogwarts.

"You sure you don't want us to stay?" James asked, shutting his trunk unceremoniously. "Padfoot might drive you mad. You don't know what it's like to be stuck with only his company for a whole week."

"Fuck off, James." Sirius threw a pillow at James and missed. "I'm a delight to be around."

"I'll be fine, James," Remus said from his bed. His joints ached, his muscles were sore, there was a large bruise on his side, and he was exhausted. "Sirius, you should go with him."

"Aw, Moony, stop trying to get rid of me. I'm going to help you study."

Peter rolled his eyes.

By "help you study," Remus was pretty sure that Sirius meant "distract you while you try to work for a better, if unlikely, future for yourself." It was less than ideal, but the real reason Remus didn't want Sirius to stay was because he felt guilty. Surely he'd have more fun with James than cooped up in the dormitory with Remus. But it was a lost cause - Sirius had already made up his mind.

"Alright, Padfoot, whatever you say."

Sirius grinned at him. 

"Don't drink my firewhiskey," James warned, stuffing a pair of mismatched socks into his bag.

"Remus, please make sure Sirius doesn't put itching powder on my pillow," Peter sighed, tying his shoes.

Sirius said "I would never!" at the same time Remus said "You know I can't control him."

"You would," Peter told Sirius, grimacing, "and you can," he directed toward Remus.

………………………………..

As soon as James and Peter were gone, Sirius leaned up against Remus's bed with a mischievous smile and said, "I've got a present for you."

"Really." Remus wondered if he was about to become the victim of a prank that only Sirius found amusing.

"Don't look at me like that, Moony. I promise you'll like it!" Sirius was rummaging around in his trunk. Remus was not reassured. 

Sirius returned to Remus with a glass jar in his hand. It seemed to contain some sort of dried leaves. He presented it to Remus, looking immensely proud of himself.

"What is that?" 

"Skunk," Sirius announced, handing the jar to Remus and sitting on the side of the bed.

"What? Where did you get this?" Remus examined the green clumps.

"Dorcas Meadowes. And it wasn't cheap, so it better be good." 

"I'm shocked that you didn't try this with James first," Remus replied, opening the jar and smelling its contents. Lately, Sirius had been spending more time with Remus than James, a result of James being preoccupied with dating Lily. Still, this seemed like a classic Prongs and Padfoot activity. 

"I figured you'd appreciate it more," Sirius told him, producing a strangely-shaped glass pipe from his pocket. "It's supposed to help with pain," Sirius added.

"Oh." It always caught Remus off-guard when Sirius did something thoughtful. "Do you even know how to do this?"

"Yeah, it's simple." Sirius took out a mortar and pestle (used in the making of various nefarious potions) from the nightstand that sat between their two beds. He picked a few of the green clumps from the jar and ground them up, then filled the pipe. He offered it to Remus.

"You first, Pads."

Sirius shrugged, lifted the pipe to his mouth, and lit it with the tip of his wand. The smoke came out of his mouth in a violent coughing fit.

Remus couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think I've ever seen you look so uncool."

"Shut - up," Sirius said between coughs.

Remus handed Sirius his glass of water.

"Thanks," Sirius said when he'd downed the whole thing. He refilled it with a quick aguamenti. "Your turn. Let's see how-" he coughed again, "you do it."

Remus brought the pipe to his mouth, trying not to dwell on how Sirius's lips had been there only moments before. Sirius lit the pipe for him and Remus inhaled. It was harsh; it burned the back of his throat. He exhaled and coughed twice.

"Impressive," Sirius admitted. Sirius's fingers brushed Remus's as he took the pipe back. 

They each took a few more hits and drank a lot more water.

Sirius made Remus move over so that he could lie down on the bed next to him.

"How're you feeling?" Sirius asked.

Remus's thoughts were moving slowly and his limbs felt pleasantly heavy. "Er… good."

"Yeah. Me too. It's kind of like being drunk, but… different."

Remus laughed.

"What?!"

"Very eloquent, Padfoot."

"I'll show you eloquent." Sirius yanked up Remus's shirt and blew a raspberry into his stomach. 

Remus laughed so hard he almost fell out of the bed. "You're mad," he gasped.

"You love it," Sirius teased.

Remus very much wanted Sirius's mouth to return to any part of his body. Oh, hell. This drug was preventing him from keeping his base desires in check.

"What're you thinking about?" Sirius tapped Remus's temple. 

"Erm… I've never felt so relaxed the day after a full."

"That's good. But what are you really thinking? You're such a closed book, and it's not fair because you always seem to know what I'm thinking before I even think it."

"I'm thinking that my throat is dry," Remus replied, reaching over Sirius for his glass. 

Sirius rolled over so that he was facing away from Remus, grumbling something incomprehensible. Remus decided it was best not to ask.

The sun was setting and the dormitory was awash in orange light and shadows. 

"Thanks for staying," Remus said quietly.

Sirius rolled onto his back. "Did you not want me to?"

"No, of course. Always appreciate your company." Remus patted Sirius's shoulder, then left his hand there because his arm was tired. Then, because the connection between his brain and mouth was not as strong as usual, he added, "But I thought you'd want to spend this week with James since he isn't glued to Lily's side like he has been for the past three months. I know I'm not a great replacement."

"Replacement? Moony, honestly, you can be so dense."

"Don't insult me in my own bed," Remus protested, not sure where this conversation was headed after the unintentional vulnerability on his part. 

"What would you like me to do to you in your own bed?" Sirius said into his ear. 

Remus stifled a laugh, hand over his mouth.

Sirius moved Remus's hand away from his mouth and kissed him. 

It was so surreal that for a moment, Remus wondered if he was hallucinating. But it seemed unlikely that his mind could conjure all these details - Sirius's fingers in his hair, his hand on Remus's hip, the taste of Sirius's mouth. It occurred to Remus that this was likely to end badly, but he was kissing Sirius back. 

Remus cupped Sirius's jaw with his hand. Sirius slid a hand under Remus's shirt, cold fingers gently tracing his oldest scar.

Remus pulled away. "This isn't a good idea." His body thought otherwise. Every place Sirius touched him was tingling. 

"Why not?" Sirius ran his thumb over Remus's bottom lip.

"You're going to regret this later," Remus said, wondering if it would be entirely unethical to obliviate Sirius. Their friendship wasn't likely to survive this otherwise. Especially not if they continued kissing and one thing led to another.

"No I won't." Sirius's eyes were red, but earnest. "I've wanted to do this for ages."

Remus felt like there were ten different trains of thought moving through his head on a collision course. "That seems unlikely."

Sirius sat up and took Remus's hands in his. "Remus. Moony. It doesn't have to be so hard."

Remus's heart was beating far too fast. He wanted very badly to believe Sirius. 

Sirius stared at him, looking as though Remus’s response would make or break him.

All at once, Remus remembered how tired he was. Between being awake all night and smoking quite a lot, there was no way he could think about this clearly right now. "Can we… can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Alright. Whatever you want." Sirius gave Remus a quick kiss on the forehead and then got beneath the blankets and snuggled up next to Remus.

Remus thought about asking him to leave, but that wasn't what either of them wanted. Surely this alone wouldn’t be their undoing. He put his arm around Sirius's waist and Sirius made a small, contented sound.

They would figure it out tomorrow. Remus closed his eyes and let himself feel safe in the warmth of Sirius’s presence.

[myaekingheart]

85. The Not-Date Date

               Milk. Eggs. Bread. Vegetables. Kakashi skimmed the list as he strolled up and down the aisles, but he wasn’t really paying attention. Grocery shopping just gave him something to do, a mundane task to occupy his mind. It wasn’t working.

               His mental capacity was, quite frankly, nearing intolerable. He found some respite on his most recent mission, but only because it kept him fully engaged. Now that he was back to the daily grind, however, nothing seemed to keep him focused.

               A few days after his initial visit, Tenzo returned to inform that things had gone well and that he had a date. It was clear how pleased he was with the results, and Kakashi tried hard not to put a damper on his success. Deep down, however, delving into relationship dynamics only ignited a flame in Kakashi’s mind that he absolutely could not manage to extinguish. He saw her every time he closed his eyes: that fiery hair, mossy eyes, crooked smile, freckled shoulders. His arms ached to embrace her, something raw and hungry bubbling up within his chest. He wanted her. He needed her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Rei.

               And just like that, in the middle of the juice aisle, it happened. First there came a thud, then the pattering of small particles bouncing against the ground. And then her voice. “Fuck!” His heart leapt into his chest and without a second thought, he slid around the corner to find her standing there with a large bag of dog food spilling onto the ground.

               “Are you okay?” he asked, blinking despondently. Much like everything else lately, this didn’t seem real. It didn’t make sense. It was like his mind had fabricated a completely unlikely scenario from pieces of unrelated information plucked from all the mental nooks and crannies.

               Huffing, she knelt down and began hopelessly trying to sweep the food back into the sack with her hands. “Do I look okay?” she asked, rather sharply, and for a moment Kakashi thought perhaps she was unaware that it was him standing before her and not a stranger. She did not look up.

               Kakashi looked around for a moment before kneeling down and attempting to help her, even if she probably didn’t want it. So much for her independence. “How did this happen, anyway?” he asked.

               “How do you think?” she snapped back. “The damn bag’s too fucking heavy. Lost my grip and it went everywhere.”

               He couldn’t help but find the whole situation rather comical. The bag, from what he could tell, was almost the same size she was, and it probably weighed twice as much. By the time they got most of the food off the floor, an employee—a young, pimply kid with spaghetti limbs and a potential nasal infection—peered down the aisle with a broom in hand. He idled for a moment when he saw the mess had since been taken care of, then scurried back to his post mildly embarrassed.

               Kakashi took it upon himself to lift the sack for her, and she did not protest. She merely reached up on tiptoes to try to tie the bag shut where it had burst open. She shuffled alongside him as he approached the checkout counter and set the bag down. “What are you doing with a big bag of dog food like this, anyway?” he asked. She dug around inside her back pouch for her wallet but was evidently taking too long. The cashier, a snotty woman impatient for god only knew what—it wasn’t like she had anywhere to go—rolled her eyes and began tapping her long, manicured nails against the counter. Her skin was taut and tan like leather and her lips were glossed so that the lights overhead reflected off her frustrated pout. Kakashi rested a hand atop Rei’s as he pulled out his own wallet and handed the woman the appropriate amount of cash.

               Dumbfounded, Rei froze for a moment with mouth agape before forcing herself to regroup. “I have a dog now” she replied matter-of-factly, crossing her arms and tilting her chin up. “I have a dog and he needs food.”

               “Oh?” Kakashi asked, smirking at her beneath his mask. “Are you sure it’s a dog? Or a bear?” He tapped the large bag of food and chuckled.

               Rei grimaced and shook her head. “He’s most definitely a dog” she insisted. “His name is Toshio and he’s very smart, you would be proud.”

               The cashier handed Kakashi his receipt and did not wish them a good afternoon. Kakashi lifted the bag up over his shoulder and, as they exited, asked, “Where is this dog, then? I’d like to see him.”

               As they stepped out into the sunlight, blinding for this time of day, Rei pointed to a large white blur romping with some children across the street. “Right there” she stated. She whistled sharply and the dog immediately snapped his head up, spotted tongue lopping out of the side of his mouth, then came barreling toward her. She knelt down and let him knock her over, licking her face obsessively with his paws firmly on her shoulders. The interaction was far too sweet, Kakashi couldn’t help but smile.

               “Seems like he likes you a lot” he stated. The moment he spoke, Toshio paused and then approached cautiously, sniffing around Kakashi’s feet and at his hands. After a few moments, he pounced into a protective stance and snarled.

               “Hey, Toshio! Bad!” Rei scolded, sitting up and thwacking him on the behind. “That’s Kakashi. He’s good! We like him!”

               Rather than feel offended, Kakashi couldn’t help but feel amused and perhaps a little relieved. “I bet he makes a good guard dog” he said. He extended a hand for Toshio to sniff, an invitation that he was friendly, but the dog remained skeptical.

               “He used to be a ninja hound” Rei replied, tugging Toshio nearer and scratching around his fat, fluffy neck. “That is until his master, uh…well, he was KIA.” Her tone turned somber as she looked upon this beast with a little more softness and sympathy than before. Kakashi swallowed, his heart breaking. As a dog owner himself, the thought of dying on duty and leaving his ninken behind terrified him. The certain trauma this dog endured was validation enough for his skepticism and aggression.

               “I’m glad you two found each other” Kakashi then said, his voice soft and perhaps even affectionate. “It makes me happy to know you’re not alone now.” And truly it did. Regardless of whether this dog trusted him, he trusted this dog. Toshio was potentially exactly what she needed—a companion he could be sure would take care of her. He watched her for a moment longer, his heart swelling, before asking rather suddenly, “Are you doing anything today?”

               Rei blinked, snapping from her dog-drunk daze, before squinting up at him and shaking her head. From down there, backlit by the sun, he looked almost heavenly. “Not particularly” she replied. “Why?”

               “Do you want to go do something together?” he asked. “I can bring the dogs. Toshio can make friends. I think he’d like that.”

               Rei considered the offer for a moment, chewing her lower lip, before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, we can do that” she said. She lifted herself to her feet and rested a hand atop Toshio’s head—he came up to about her hips—before a sudden realization struck her. “Wait a second, didn’t you have groceries? Where’s your stuff?”

               Kakashi paused, having completely forgotten about his own shopping in the midst of finding her. He chuckled then and shook his head. “I’ll come back for it” he said, then motioned for her to walk alongside him as he carried the dog food back to her apartment.

               Watching Toshio interact with other dogs was quite honestly a heartwarming experience. It had only been a week since Rei adopted him as her own and yet this was the first time he had a chance to spend time with his own kind. For all she knew, it may have even been the first time since the accident. Kakashi summoned all of his ninken, who looked prepared to aide in whatever battle they may have been called for. Their faces relaxed, however, when Kakashi instructed them to instead run around and have a good time, to make friends with Toshio, and overall just relax. Pakkun nodded once in understanding and then he and his pack began introducing themselves one by one in their own special canine way.

               As the afternoon progressed, Kakashi and Rei seated themselves on a bench in the park as they watched the dogs romp and run around. Dead leaves cascaded on a light breeze and the sun was warm and bright. The whole of Konoha was bathed in that autumnal glow where everything appears as if on fire and the air somehow always smells like spice. It had been a long while since Rei felt this happy and peaceful. “I’m glad to see they’re getting along so well” she smiled, watching as Toshio spun in circles and chased Bull and Bisuke.

               Kakashi nodded, his arm itching to wrap around her shoulders. When he looked at her, he couldn’t help but think that autumn was where she belonged. This was the time of year that she fit snugly into like a puzzle piece. The world in fall just complimented her so well and he could feel his entire body igniting with this genuine, overwhelming sense of adoration for her. Sitting beside her here like this, he felt at home. “Me, too” he replied, voice quiet and perhaps mildly preoccupied.

               She glanced at him then and saw in his eyes that certain loving, consuming quality that immediately gave him away. Her heart leapt into her throat at the implications, and she suddenly grew anxious that she had walked right into a trap. Was this a date? Or at least supposed to be? She didn’t know. But what if it was? What would this mean for them? And the greatest question of all: did she even want to fight it? She clenched her fist atop her thigh and tried to calm herself down. To reassure herself that everything was fine. She was with Kakashi. So long as he was with her, everything would be just fine.

               He walked her home and as they reached her apartment door, a sense of longing and desperation suddenly overwhelmed her. Perhaps she didn’t want to say goodbye—not yet. Perhaps the tiniest taste of what they could be, of reuniting officially, had left her starving for the whole damn meal. She didn’t want to want it, but maybe now she didn’t actually care. She was tired—she was so, so tired. The past year had slaughtered her mentally, emotionally, even physically. She had cursed herself so many times, spent every moment running from fate, torturing herself time and time again. She looked at him and he looked back at her and she felt in her body that hot reverberation that she knew would make her do something reckless if she didn’t leave right this minute.

               “I’m glad we did this” Kakashi said, smiling at her. He kept the same distance between them and yet Rei swore she could feel him creeping nearer. Her lips twitched.

               “Yeah” she said quietly, averting her eyes. “I had a really good time.”

               “Me too” he said. “In a way, it almost felt like—”

               “Yeah” she interrupted. “I know.” She didn’t think she could bear to hear him say it. She was too vulnerable. If she let him finish, she knew she was bound to collapse into his arms and end this hiatus once and for all. She could not afford to make such hasty decisions. She smiled up at him politely for a moment, resting her hand on the doorknob, then bid him a brief goodbye. He said goodbye back and she disappeared, and then it was just him and all eight of his dogs alone in the hallway.

               Once inside, Rei hastily locked the door as if Kakashi was prone to walking into unlocked apartments, then turned on her heels and fell face first into bed with an animalistic groan. She needed to get out of here. She needed a shower and isolation. She needed to strip her skin off of her body and jump out the window, colliding with the ground below. What was she going to do? What was she supposed to do? This was all so much. If she closed her eyes and focused on it long enough, she could almost feel Kakashi’s phantom touch on her forearm, steady breath on the back of her neck, soft lips pressed against hers. She writhed in frustration and buried her head beneath her pillows, kicking the blanket off the bed. Everything would be so much easier if I was just numb.

               Meanwhile, Toshio lumbered forward and rested his head on the edge of the bed. When Rei turned, his face was mere inches away from her own. He huffed in her face with his hot, stinky breath before scooting nearer so as to lick her like he always did. It was fascinating how somehow he always knew, as if her emotional imbalances were connected with his own sensory capabilities. She had never known the companionship of a dog like this before but it was a welcome relief. While the past was haunting and the future made her nauseous, at least she had this: this present moment. This strange beast by her side, always there for her no matter what. Her and Toshio had not been together for long, but she already could not imagine her life without him. And maybe that was the first step. Maybe accepting him into her life, accepting the way he took care of her, was a sign that she was prepared to let herself be loved again. That she was prepared for companionship and commitment and affection. Her mind filtered through all the memories of that afternoon, of the way she felt standing so close to Kakashi once again, and it was suddenly as if she was standing on the highest diving board at the community pool. She looked down at the depths below, that rising feeling overwhelming her chest as she stood on the verge of making a decision. The thought of making that leap was truly paralyzing. She wasn’t sure she had it in her. Perhaps her only choice was to wait it out for a little while longer until the confidence, or the horror, swayed her one way or the other. To live a life drowning in fear was no way to live at all, but life was also a patchwork of many different moments and she could afford to spare a few more trapped in emotional limbo. Sighing, Rei reached out and tangled her fingers in Toshio’s thick coat. He leapt onto his hind legs, nuzzling her face and lapping at her cheeks in an act of unspoken comfort. Rei smiled, knowing it truly helped.

[birbleafs]

fic snippets

Sorry I haven’t been posting much on this account. There’s been a lot going on IRL, so I’ve been a bit preoccupied overall. Thank you to those of you who are still sticking around though! Before I wrote fic for Zestiria, I’ve only had a handful of followers and now there’s more of you (if I don’t count the bots...lol). It’s both a bit unnerving and nice (?!) since I’m not used to having this many followers for my writing...

AnYWAY, I’m slowly working on a few stories and hope to finish up at least one fic in the weeks to come sorry my writing rhythm is really inconsistent adksjkhjf

Till then, here are a few (unedited) snippets, if you’re interested. Putting under a cut for length:

Dezel, Sorey+Rose brotp, CATS (canon) He shouldn’t have been surprised, honestly. Incidents like these – they were a norm and really, he should be used to them by now. Being part the Shepherd’s posse seemed to bring about both irritability and absurdity in equal parts – he was aware of this even before Rose had decided on sharing the burden and took on the role of a Squire; before she had risked her own life to save the Shepherd brat from certain death because he had been foolish enough to face off with the Lord of Calamity.

Still, nothing quite prepared him for this; he was more of a dog person, after all.

“But why cats, though?” Rose finally blurted out, incredulous. Hell, Dezel wanted to know too – who would come up with such a sick joke anyway?

“I’m not a cat!”

The small silver creature standing in the grass was scowling up at them with narrowed, violet eyes. His mouth was open, as if he were attempting to speak. But the only sound he managed was a very indignant and cat-like meow (it was more a kittenish mewl, really, Dezel thought).

“W-What?” The silver kitten crinkled his nose, tail waving back and forth in confusion. He glanced over his shoulder, gazing at a second cat – a female with a silky white coat and a long, red-striped tail. “Why can’t I… Lailah, what’s going on?”

“Huh,” Sorey said from where he was crouched low to the ground. There was a contemplative look about him as he swept his gaze from the silver kitten to the white cat. Skulking beside his right knee was a smaller, calico-patched kitten with sky-blue eyes and a foul temper, her short tail fluffed up.  And draped casually over the kid’s shoulder was yet another cat – a sleek, muscular tom, grey-striped and wearing a languid amber stare. Sorey watched the cats surrounding him for a bit longer, before he reached out tentatively to let the silver kitten sniff his fingers.

“Well, at least she didn’t turn you all into frogs,” Sorey added unhelpfully. “Ow–!” He yelped when the silver kitten nipped a finger.

“This isn’t funny, Sorey!” the kitten said, ears twitching irritably.

Before the Shepherd could reply, the grey tom leapt down from his perch to the grass below, splaying his claws as he stretched his long limbs out easily.

“Better a cat than a frog, eh, Mikster? Though I suppose it might have been easier if we had been turned  into frogs – a kiss from the handsome Shepherd himself or a pure maiden should do the trick.” The grey tom glanced up at Rose, a mischievous gleam in his eyes now. “No harm trying it out with cats too, right? How about it, Rose? We all know Sheps here has already reserved his for Mikleo, but I’m sure the rest of us can make do with a kiss from a fine lady such as yourself.”

“Er,” Sorey began hesitantly at the same time the calico kitten growled softly in her throat. Bunching up her paws beneath her, she sprang forward and aimed a swift paw-jab to the grey tom’s face that had him yowling in surprise and backing away.

“As lewd as ever even in this form,” the calico hissed as she swished her bottle-brush tail in contempt. “Just because you’re a fuzzball now doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be gross, Grossveid.”

Rose rubbed at her nape, still confused, as she stared at the gathering of cats. “How are these cats even talking to us? It’s like I’m hearing their voices in my head and that’s creepy. Just like how... whoa, hold on a sec–” She stiffened, eyes widening as she finally caught on. “Is this kitten... Edna?” She flicked her gaze back at the grey tom, who beamed and twitched his whiskers proudly at her. “And Zaveid?!”

Dezel was already internally groaning at Rose’s slow uptake. But Sorey, ever the sunshine of their dysfunctional little band, only let out a chuckle.

“So you can hear them too, huh? This one here is Mikleo!” He reached for the silver kitten who was still puffed up in annoyance, holding up his now fluffy best friend for Rose to take a better look. “Doesn’t he look like the cutest bundle of fur now?” “Ugh, Sorey!” Mikleo the kitten groaned, struggling to bat Sorey over the nose with a paw. This time, it was Rose’s turn to laugh. “More like an overpriced fur stole, really.” “R-Rose?!” Before the two could continue with their good-natured teasing, the white cat with the red tail purred, clearly amused. She bounded up to balance herself easily on Sorey’s right shoulder, gazing over at Rose and Dezel with bright eyes.

“And I take it this one here must be Lailah then,” Rose said.

“That is correct,” the Prime Lord (Prime…Cat?) nodded. “It seems that what we’ve heard from the villagers aren’t mere rumours, after all. With her level of resonance and her apparent skill in transmutation artes, perhaps this woman really is a witch.” “Great,” Dezel muttered under his breath. “That just means more work cut out for us.”

Symmone character study, Camlann illusions (canon) “Why do you still keep smiling, even when I tear open your wounds?” she spat, vehemence laced in every word.  

(Many moons later, she would find herself asking the same question, to yet another who smiled just like he did even through the anguish and pain.

How could they…. How dare they? It didn’t make any sense, it couldn’t–)

Her brows creased in anger, Symonne forced herself back up to her feet even as her limbs ached and trembled from the growing exhaustion of battle. Being delicate in stature had its drawbacks; she would tire easily from direct combat in a battle. As such, she had perfected the use of her seraphic artes, weaving illusions and doppelgangers born from one’s own deepest fear. She had not asked for this accursed blessing, never wished for any of it. But it was all she’d ever known, all she’d carried within her throughout centuries of misery and growing apathy. It was she was but it was enough for this, for her Lord – she reminded herself, again, as she struggled to stand upright, pointing her baton at the two humans before her. It was enough that she could serve him, her Master. She won’t stop here; no, she couldn’t stop, she must not fall–

“That’s enough, Symonne.”

The Shepherd’s voice was soft and gentle, and Symonne felt frustration flaring from deep within. She lifted her head, staring up at the disgustingly radiant smile, at the pity in those evergreen eyes.

“Why do you still keep fighting back? How can you smile like it doesn’t hurt?!” she cried, hurling all of her anger and confusion outward, streaks of magic dancing in violent crackles around them. She wants to strike them down, wants to wipe that infuriating smile off his face and gouge the kindness in those eyes.

“Symonne.”

She froze, her muscles tensing in agitation when she sensed the Shepherd’s approach. But he only knelt before her slowly, his countenance soft and heavy with sadness. Standing close by, the Shepherd’s water seraph wore a similar expression of pity even as he kept his staff pointed at her. The Squire herself remained on guard however, her gaze as sharp as the blades she held poised.

“Why do you keep fighting?” Symonne tried again, her eyes burning with tears now. “When all there is at the end is inevitable doom? Is it so bad to want to just let go?” She raised her baton once more, threading wisps of magic through the thick violet miasma around them, even though she was already worn from their earlier battle and now from the crushing weight of Heldalf’s domain bearing down upon her. The illusions danced briefly around them – shadows of the bandit children laughing alongside the Cardinal; of the old Explorer and the blind wind seraph who smiled back at the Shepherd and his Squire – this would throw them off, surely, and turn them to despair, it must–

But the shadows flickered weakly, fading along with the remainder of her strength, and Symonne was left curled against the cold, hard ground.

“Don’t you wish they could have at least survived? I can make it a reality, so why do you keep fighting back, why?!” She wept, feeling a last spike of defiance she glared up furiously at the Shepherd.

Sorey smiled sadly – that abhorrent smile, bright and untouched like the sun, she hated it so – and reached out for her, only to pause and thought better of it, pulling his arm back to rest at his side.

“If Forton, Mayvin, Dezel, and even those children were brave enough to have endured the pain that comes with reality… Then, we as the Shepherd and Squire – we surely have to do just as much and even more.” “That’s why we’ll keep pushing onward,” the water seraph said. “We could never cast away the memory of these people by accepting the illusions, perfect as they are.”

Beside them, the Squire nodded, a rueful look in her eyes. “Doing so would be a disservice to all the pain and hardships they had suffered.”

Sorey+Mikleo, ensemble (Exile/Rogue AU) “Do not let yourself be so readily deceived by all that glitters, by their honeyed words. After all, they murdered your father when he would not be silenced, and then banished us to the Wastelands. They sent your mother to die all alone – you still remember, don’t you? Her terrified screams when she was cut down, the way her blood stained the wheat fields crimson? Remember that always, child.” Sorey flinched from the twist of emotion within his gut. Lady Maltran might not be close by, but the ghostly whispers of her words still sent a trail of ice shivering down his spine. He shook his head, pushing away the taunting memories back. No, Lady Maltran was right – this wasn’t the time to let his guard down. He exhaled slowly, finding his centre again, and drew his thoughts back once more to the present. To focus on what had been drilled into him, what he had been sent to do. To distract himself from the lingering memories, he turned his attention to the dark wooden cabinets that lined the walls of the sitting room instead. They were packed with volumes of leather-bound tomes with yellowing pages. Curiosity getting the better of him, Sorey found himself easily absorbed by the contents of a book he selected from the nearest shelf. It was only when Fiuves’ abrupt movement caught his eye that he’d finally noticed the sound of approaching footsteps. Sorey could feel the marten’s claws twitching from where she was balanced upon his shoulder, a soft growl rumbling from her throat. Just as he was about to turn to see who was approaching him, there was another flash of movement; Sorey felt the book he’d been reading easily snatched from his hands. He blinked, surprised, only to glance up to meet the cool gaze of the young Prince Mikleo.