#but honestly it was like 3 hours to run one route not bad at all

[starswallowingsea]

i forgot how much i enjoy indie dating sims/otomes

[freckled-koi]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒓

summary: you've known gojo since your training days at jujutsu tech. you were inseparable - as thick as thieves. so, what happened?

pairing: satoru gojo x reader (feat. nanami x reader).

cw: angst, emotional manipulation / mental spiral, mature themes. 18+ / minors dni.

wc: 3k+.

a/n: second chapter is now up! this is starting to become more of a slowburn of a fanfic, and honestly? i can dig with that as long as you can. <3 please enjoy!

( ◡ ◡ ♪ ) ｡

highly suggest reading chapter 001. first! you can also read it here on ao3!

“When did you pick that up?”

You’re caught by surprise by the low purr of a voice filled with curiousness, snapping your head in the direction of it. You were in the middle of lighting the cigarette dangling from your lips, the fire from the lighter going out when you released the mechanism. You were just alone standing by yourself outside of school, not expecting to run into anyone in particular.

“Don’t tell me hanging around Shoko is rubbing off on you..” The man sighs, amusingly hopeless at his own words. Your eyes scan over his much sharper features all the way up to his jet black tresses tied back into a bun to keep the longer strands away from his face and down his back.

You always found it a shame he never cared for his hair down that much. It framed his face better.

All you do is let out a light laugh, shrugging your shoulders as you pluck the cigarette from between your tiers to speak. 

“Shoko and I bum off each other’s smokes whenever we hang out,” You try to become a voice of reason, but you realize it’s not going to do much when you see a flicker of disbelief on the man’s features.

“Don’t tell me you rag on Shoko for smoking, Suguru.”

“Even if I did, she would still do it–”

“Which is why, I’m going to continue doing it~ It helps.”

Suguru Geto doesn’t protest it, knowing he wouldn’t win the war on what was healthily correct for you. All he does is manage a smile, taking a small glance around their surroundings.

It was a bad habit you would dabble in for quite some time, but coming to Jujutsu Tech, you started doing it much more. You even found a small bond with Shoko one night after a stressful trial assignment when you were just a newbie sorcerer. She caught you whipping out a pack you rifled through your bag to find and asked to have one.

You sort of found comfort in doing it more than ever.

Maybe it was a bad way to manage coping with stress, but old habits will die hard.

You sigh after taking a moment to debate, eventually tucking the unlit cigarette back into its packaging and store it away into your bag. Smoking could wait until you were back at home.

Golden hour was upon them when you stand with Geto, glancing back at him as he’s found meeting your gaze. The hues over his skin made him stand like a god, it was almost sickening how pretty someone was without even trying. Although, there were signs of distress under his eyes that you were suspicious about. He looked.. Worn. As if sleep wasn’t something he was getting much of late.

“Are you waiting on Satoru?” 

“Not quite.. I just so happened to begin my route home and just caught sight of you.”

There’s a quirk in your brow to his words, an amused expression crossing Geto’s features when he looks at you with a quiet laugh leaving him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

You shrug.

“Usually you’d be the one walking home with him.”

All Geto does is shrug off the statement, a smile still gracing his lips.

“He’s got his own thing going on.”

“Like you do?” You ask with jest in your tone. It was only meant to be as a way to poke at Geto, but there’s a flicker of an emotion in his eyes that didn’t match the way his lips were still tugged into that signature smile of his. As if, to mask whatever emotion he was holding back.

“Yeah. I got my own thing going on.”

“Oi!” 

The both of you break eye contact to see the taller white haired boy jogging over from afar, shades shimmering and gold reflecting off of them. It’s then that you see Suguru beginning to turn away, fixing the bag on his shoulders. 

“That’s my cue to leave–”

“You’re not sticking around?” Your brows twitch together, staring after the other just as he slows in his steps by your words.

Geto is hesitant to reply, only giving you a small raise of his hand.

“Catch you later, Y/N.” He says his departing words with a care you knew was genuine, but it did nothing but cause a small dip in your stomach to it.

All you do is watch as Geto grows further and further away with you, the white haired boy now caught up completely to where you stand.

“Hey, ready to go?”

The question is almost muffled to you, hardly tearing you away from your gaze settled on Geto. You couldn’t help the idle pondering of what was just going on with him. It was highly unlikely that he wouldn’t stick around to chat with Gojo, because he was always around Gojo. So, what changed?

“Y/N?” It’s when Gojo says your name that you break away from your thoughts, turning your head to look up at him and he has that feigned innocent expression on his features you’ve only seen a small handful of times.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said~, are you ready to go?”

“Oh, right– Yeah.”

You’d push it back to your mind to think on later. Gojo had been begging you to come back to his place to hang out, to watch the latest cheesy rom-com that he had been blabbering about for the longest time and wouldn’t stop until you caved to accompany him.

It’s then that you two start to walk together side by side, drawing your lips inward in thought before your gaze returns back up to the other. You tried pushing it to the back of your mind, but your curiosity gets the best of you.

“Is he doing okay?”

“Who?”

“Satoru, you can’t be serious.” You sigh hopelessly. 

All he can muster is a sheepish laugh, his arm swinging around the space between your arm and shoulder to draw you close to his side. The affection wasn’t too unfamiliar, having a knack for breaking that personal bubble of yours just to be handsy. You were sure his love language was physical touch.

“Suguru’s fine~ I speak to him in passing when you’re not around, you know,”

“Hm..” You exhale a soft hum with the concern still written on your features.

“He really is fine. I try to check in on him, but we’re always off doing our own assignments these days anyway.”

It wasn’t reassuring in the slightest, the way Gojo spoke, but you decide that it was best to drop the topic at hand before he got riled up. Maybe you’d try and catch Geto at the right time and place for a chat the next time you crossed his path.

Your head tilts a bit to get a better look at Gojo when you walk and he meets your gaze, trying to look past his dark shades with a playful grimace.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you always have to cling onto me like this?” You joke, but you don’t pry yourself away from his side at all. Even with what happened moments ago, Gojo’s body was like an anchor for you to ease your nerves – no matter how many times he stepped on them for fun.

It only brings a sly grin stretching over his lips as he leans down some to rest his head on top of yours, rubbing his face into your hair like a cat.

“Aww, but you like it, don’t you, Y/N~? A handsome guy like myself being all over you~”

“Ugh–” You snicker just before you’re pressing your palm to his side to give the both of you some distance, playfully gagging to the way he speaks. “You’re literally disgusting.”

“Oh, come on~” Gojo whines, reaching to draw you back to his side and place his arm back where it laid.

“You know, I wouldn’t have pegged you to be the American movie watcher type.”

You comment just as you’re taking a sip from the mug of black tea you found in the kitchen after you changed into the loungewear you had packed for your stay, idly twirling the tea bag string with your finger as you watched him set-up the television from the sofa. 

Gojo stands proud and tall, the DVD he was flopping around in his hold now on his finger as he grins in your direction, even going as far as showing off, using his Infinite to make it hover.

“I’ve been dabbling here and there into American movies, so I can’t help but have a growing obsession over them~ Don’t have to understand the language to enjoy something great,” He laughs and that just makes your lips quirk up into a smile.

You find his childish excitement rather endearing. The moment he catches your smile, he pauses and allows the disk to fall flat into his palm and he’s turning to place it into the player.

“Plus, subtitles exist.”

The comment makes you snort softly, taking a careful sip from your tea just as you set the top of the mug onto your thigh. 

Gojo and you would do this often. You’d kick back at his place on a Friday night watching a numerous amount of films since you both were big time cinephiles. He had a guest room always made up for you, so you didn’t have to worry about the time getting away from you and beating the clock past curfew to get home. 

Most of the time it was horror movies, other times it was action and adventure. The films you indulged in with Gojo were a variety, but the romance comedy ones were new for you. Not that you’ve never seen one, you just didn’t find any interest in them until Gojo was practically on his hands and knees to have you sit in on one with him. 

After he places the disk into the player, passing through trailers you both didn’t care much for, the movie is now playing on the screen and he moves to join you on the sofa.

Usually, he would be a cushion over, but he’s placed himself close to you this time.

Odd.

You don’t think twice about it.

His arm settles onto the back rest of the sofa right behind you, leg propped up onto his knee away from you. Your legs were crisscrossed into a more comfortable position, allowing your attention to be directed towards the screen. 

The plot was easy to understand from the get-go. Two women hardly enjoying their places in life, their resided homes across the world, so they switch homes for a little vacation. The brother of one meets the girl staying in the one woman’s little English cottage, while the other meets a complete stranger that knows how to produce music in the other’s mansion.

The two of you share a laugh at some parts, Gojo making idle comments out loud to you and to mostly himself throughout the middle of the film.

It was a traditional, corny romance movie – something you weren’t incredibly surprised by. The build up of the lingering romance between the two couples were clearly enamoring, so you’re definitely surprised with yourself when you’re so focused on the film.

You feel a subtle brush in your tresses near your shoulder that causes a small shudder that crawls up your neck. Thank God you knew how to use your peripherals so you didn’t have to turn your head to look, catching Gojo still facing towards the screen with his features lit up by the television screen that shapes his side profile. The expression he wears is soft, and it’s an expression you haven’t familiarized yourself with since getting to know Gojo.

You knew more than the average acquaintance, but not in the similar manner as he was with Geto or Shoko.

The brush of fingertips graze along your shoulder through your crewneck, dragging up over the neckline, playing right at the hem where fabric ended and your flesh began.

What is he doing? 

Maybe it was just a mindless thing he caught himself doing. It doesn’t help that the goosebumps are beginning to form underneath your sweater, gripping the now lukewarm mug you were clinging onto during the movie.

You can hardly pay attention to the movie now, a little distracted but you remain strong and a little still, wondering what he was going to do next. 

However, Gojo doesn’t really go any farther past the neckline, even taking pauses in his movements. It’s when you catch the pause that your head subconsciously turns a centimeter, and his eyes immediately flit to lock with your gaze.

He smiles and it’s one of the warmest smiles he’s worn, making your throat grow tight. 

“.. Are you enjoying it?” Gojo says gently.

“Oh— Yeah, it’s pretty good so far..” 

“See? I’m never wrong about these things~”

You quietly laugh, grinning now by the comment just as a few strands of hair fall past your face that were tucked loosely behind your ear. His hand resting near your shoulder lifts to bring over to neatly, delicately tuck them back into place. The subtle graze of his fingertips at your skin burns and you’re not sure if it’s because of how intimate the touch is or the contrast of his cool fingers on your gradually reddening skin. But he’s never gone as far as to do that.

Sure, he’d cling to you and rub his face on your shoulder, your head, but it was all just playful.

This wasn’t playful.

The only thing that fills the quiet between you two is the dialogue and musical score emanating from the television. Gojo’s attention wasn’t going back to the movie, and strangely, neither was yours. As if you both were wanting to say something, but nothing was coming to fruition.

Gojo is the first to break the silence.

“What are you so pretty for~?” He purrs. 

It sounds so sickly sweet and makes a wave of warmth wash over you. 

It’s hard to formulate words when he’s hardly doing a damn thing, and why it was affecting you now was beyond you.

All you manage is a roll of your eyes, head turning to face back towards the television.

“Oh, now you’re complimenting me?” You say in amusement.

“Hey,” Gojo’s hand reaches over to take your chin with his thumb and forefinger to guide your face back. You’re completely doe-eyed when you're brought back to fix your gaze onto his piercing blue set, his own lids low. “I wasn’t done looking.”

“Y- You see me every day, Satoru.”

“Mnn~.. Not like this though.” You didn’t realize it, but when he took hold of your chin, he closed the proximity between both of your bodies, just where his thigh just barely pressed to your own, hardly giving the both of you that space.

The position he put you in was making your heart race.

“Satoru..” You repeat his name again softly, and he sighs to that.

“Hm?”

“What are you doing?”

Gojo’s lips quirk up into a gentle smile, the pad of his thumb brushing along the curve of your chin before it lifts to just barely touch the bottom of your lip.

“I want to try something with you.”

You feel that surge of warmth run through you again because you knew where this was going just based on the hold and the way his thumb runs delicately over your lower tier; How he looks at you – how close he was to you. It makes your stomach twist, your shoulders tense up. Hell, the idle thought of doing those sorts of things with Gojo was just a fleeting, intrusive thought all on its own, and you never really thought you or him would actually act on them. There were moments where those fleeting touches and catching each other’s gaze would make you feel some type of way. Maybe even the times where he was clinging onto you and pulling you in close too, but it was nothing you dwelled on for too long.

Gojo and you were just friends. Friends don’t do those sorts of things. 

You’re hanging onto his words now, the movie now long forgotten and only becomes background noise at this point in time. You can’t even seem to give a response to his words and it only makes him quietly snicker to it.

Gojo shifts, closing that proximity between the two of you and only leaving just mere centimeters of your frame to his, guiding you by your chin and your body willingly follows suit. 

“If it doesn’t work, I won’t do it again.” 

It’s the last thing he says just before he’s leaning in, your eyes fall shut because staring at him with that doe-eyed look you were getting accustomed to was crazy. The hands around the mug are tight, you almost could break the glass if you squeezed it any tighter. It’s then that Gojo completes his goal of making sure there was no room left between the two of you, his lips finding purchase on your own in a slow kiss. 

It’s so warm and delicate, mindlessly melting into just how much he’s drawing you in by it. You never thought this was how it would feel to kiss Gojo. Maybe it was entertained in your mind for much longer than you would admit – you felt it would be the type to rush, sticking his tongue down someone’s throat in the heat of the moment, but he was taking his time. The palm of his hand slides with ease to cradle the side of your face now, thumb dragging over the apple of your flushed cheek just as his lips part to take it a step further, almost as if he was deepening the kiss and your own couplets follow.

What am I doing?

There’s a sliver of realization that comes back to you and your eyes flutter back open, retracting from the kiss with a soft sound. Your eyes meet with Gojo’s piercingly blue orbs, almost a little surprised by how short the lip lock was between you two.

“I– I have to use the bathroom–” You quickly declare, and you only can remember the small flicker of confusion crossing Gojo’s expression just as you scramble to set the mug on the coffee table.

You feel you grasp at your hand, stopping you from moving any further from your place near the sofa. You snap your head towards Gojo’s hand holding yours before they reach his eyes again. There’s a clear look of surprise on your features to him grabbing you. Didn’t he say if it didn’t work out, he wouldn’t do it again?

“Wait, Y/N–”

“Just– Just give me a second.” You say firmly and Gojo takes that as a sure sign to back off, allowing you to push off his hand as he slumps back into the sofa and you make your way to the bathroom just around the corner.

Locking the door behind you, you finally sigh out as if you were holding your breath the entire time. Your hands come up to push at your tresses, doing a small pace in the minimal space of the bathroom. 

“What the fuck.. What the fuck.” Your hands come up to shield your face as you stop in front of the sink, having to just replay what just happened. Was he doing that just to fuck with you? Maybe entertain something and go beyond just kissing, to get you to do more? Did he mean to do any of that? Hell, you must’ve had his attention with how much time you both had spent around each other and him doing this was more than clear. 

It was all way too overwhelming and confusing for you to process, hands now bracing the edge of the sink after reaching to turn the faucet on. Your eyes linger on your reflection in the mirror, staring over the flush on your cheeks and how widely blown your eyes were, brows knitted together in frustration. 

Gojo put you in such a vulnerable state, it was almost becoming uncomfortable the more you thought about it. You bring your lips inward, fixing your posture as you bring a hand to your lips to touch. The kiss was.. Lovely, but.. You were wishing you were more mentally prepared before he decided to just ‘try something’ with you.

After a while longer, you come out of the bathroom. It was quiet for the most part, figuring he must have paused the movie after you left. 

You return to the room and you see Gojo is still seated, one arm over the back of the sofa while the other is propped up on the arm of it, hand balled up and resting his chin there. He switched positions, being at the very end of the couch.

It’s when he feels your presence, he turns his head back to you, facial features relaxed as he stares over your frame.

The both of you are so quiet, you don’t even know what to say to him before you’re walking back over. This time, you seat yourself at the opposite end of the sofa, and he watches you as you move.

You break the silence first.

“Can we.. finish the movie?”

You request with a hesitance in your tone, bringing your legs back up to crisscross back into their original position and all Gojo does is nod once and he’s hitting play on the remote.

Both of you sit in an awkward silence, hardly even responding to the movie’s plot and reveling in the moment you both shared not even minutes ago.

Both of the girl’s get the guys they weren’t hoping to find in the film.

The hands resting on one another in your lap tightens to that.

[messrmoonyy]

please please Tess being alive and living in Jackson with reader and Joel and Ellie and Tommy and Maria and everything is happy and nice and no one dies

When the snow gives way to spring

Tess servopoulos x fem!reader

A/N- I will say straight up this is a little shorter than my normal weekly uploads because I’m sick rn and just not been in the mood to sit down and write. But. Enjoy all the same. I did remove her backstory because she reminisces a little bit in this and I needed her to be single pre outbreak .

Warnings- absolutely none. It’s tooth rotting domestic fluff

Word count- 1.9k

Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

The world was currently in that odd part of the year where winter was ending and spring was on its way, where some days she didn’t need a jacket but others she had to layer up. The snow was starting to disappear, patches of green grass sprouting up in spots that it had melted, flowers were reappearing in the window boxes and the sky was looking more blue than grey.

Tuesday had blessed the world with one of the warmer days, when Tess could walk home with her jacket slung over her arm because the sun was warming her skin just enough. She’d just dropped her horse back to the stables, after being called upon by Joel in the early hours. Tommy had the flu and even though it was meant to be her day off, Joel had asked her to cover the ski lodge route with him.

So she’d reluctantly sacrificed her morning wrapped up in bed with you, scribbled out a quick note and left. At least it was one of the nicer routes. Though honestly all the routes weren’t that bad. There was never more than a few stragglers around. And the horseback rides through the woods were actually quite therapeutic.

People smiled and waved at her as she made her way home, they’d accepted her, Joel, Ellie and you into their town with ease. And you were all solid parts of the community now. It did throw her off balance sometimes though, at how stark the contrast was in Jackson to Boston.

In Boston she had power. Control. People moved out of her way when she walked by and knew that she was not to be fucked with. But in Jackson everyone had equal levels of power, she didn’t need to exude a scary confidence that made people fear her. People liked her. They didn’t turn the opposite way when they saw her coming, they’d walk up to her and start conversation.

It had taken some getting used to. But now she’d have it no other way. She’d never felt more like her pre outbreak self, never felt at such… peace.

The added levels of safety were a bonus too of course. She no longer had to worry about keeping you alive. You could handle yourself of course, but she’d always panic. She’d always feel obligated to take care of you, because you were hers. And she was yours. But now she didn’t have the ever looming fear of you getting snatched up by FEDRA officers coming back from a run. Or some wannabe drug Lord trying to prove a point by hurting you to get to her.

She could walk around town and hold your hand. Could dance with you when Maria held her little get together in the Tipsy Bison at the weekends. She didn’t have to hide away her affections anymore in fear someone would see her, see you, use you as a target.

She’d could happily leave home for the day and know you’d be perfectly safe. And vice Versa. It was nice not to be so stressed all of the time. You were happier. She was happier. No worries of if you’d die tomorrow, Instead she could actually picture you both growing old together now. It was nice to think about.

You had joked in the past that you two would end up like Bill and Frank. Grumpy. Old. Hating the world together. Not that she’d ever deeply believed it could happen. She’d never really believed that she would last to reach old age. But now she could see it.

She was starting to feel it too. Though you enjoyed telling her she wasn’t old at all.

She liked having a house to go back to. A home. The apartment she had shared with you back in Boston had never really felt like home. Too decrepit and too many rules. Rations of food and water. Constant bright lights shining though the windows at night from the wall. Gunfire and explosions the chosen ambience.

But now she woke up to the sun. Or the sound of horses or birds. She had an entire house with you. One that you had both made a home. You were everywhere in it and she loved it. The framed pictures of you both, of you with Ellie, of the four of you all together. The slightly wonky knitted blanket that you had secretly been working on with one of the women in town that you’d gifted her for Christmas. The flowers you liked to keep around the house when they were in season. The fairy lights. The boots that weren’t falling apart, that were sat by the door.

As she walked up the porch steps a smile pulled at her lips seeing the daffodils in the pots by the front door were blooming. She’d never really been one for flowers but you’d wanted to plant them. And she couldn’t deny you of anything. And they were nice to look at. As she walked through the front door she could hear music coming from the kitchen, you humming along to it happily, and it made her smile grow more.

She hung her coat on the rack by the door and kicked off her boots, quietly making her way through to the kitchen. You were washing dishes, hips swaying along to the song playing and she watched you for a moment. She leant against the door frame and was almost overcome with emotion.

If someone had told her back when she’d first met you all those years ago, that she would still be alive. That she would still be with you. That you would both be safe. She’d have thought they were off their head on pills. And yet there she was. There you were.

She wasn’t young anymore, yet in those quiet moments like that she could pretend she was. She could remember what it felt like to fall in love with you when she was young, could smile to herself and wish she could go back and talk to herself. Tell her not to worry. Tell her that fighting her feelings for you was a pointless thing, because the future would be exactly that moment. Together. Safe. Happy.

Watching you there she felt like she was back home. Pre outbreak. No infected roaming the planet, no real threats other than if her boss at work was going to be in a good mood or not. Or if you were going to have burnt your attempt at dinner again. She wondered if you’d have liked Detroit.

She’d had a nice apartment. A decent job. You wouldn’t have even really needed to work if you hadn’t wanted to. Though she knew you would’ve, you were no housewife.

The wife part did sound nice though…

She walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“ hey you “ you turned your head to look at her, capturing her lips in another kiss before turning back to the dishes.

“ I thought we weren’t working today “

“ hm. Tell that to Joel “ you laughed a little, shaking your head and placing a mug onto the drying rack. Tess rested her chin on your shoulder and gave a small sigh, relishing in the pure domestic warmth the moment held.

She didn’t know what had gotten into her really. Why she was so overcome with emotion. She was just so suddenly aware of how lucky she truly was. How much she loved you. Loved your home. Loved her life now. Which was strange when she really thought about it. The world was a mess and people died every single day. Yet she was safe and content. And so were you. And that’s all that really mattered.

“ was everything okay? “ you asked, drying off your hands and then turning around in her embrace.

“ all clear “ she confirmed “ Joel was telling me today he was planning to go scope out that museum Maria told him about. Wanted to know if we’d go with him. Make sure it’s all clear, find a safe entry point “ Joel had been planning something big for Ellie’s birthday. Some way to make the kid have at least one day of pure and simple happiness.

She was much better now. She didn’t have so many quiet days. But still.

“ she’s gonna lose her shit when she finds out about it “

“ Maria said there’s a whole hall about space. So yeah. She’s gonna lose her shit “ she could already picture the joy on her face. She definitely wanted to be there for that. And she wanted you there too. And she knew Ellie would.

Ellie loved you. Maybe even as much as she loved Joel. You were the first one to trust her after all. The one to convince both Tess and Joel that taking her was a good idea.

“ is he going today? “

“ was planning to set off early tomorrow morning “ you nodded and your smile grew as you clearly thought about something “ what? “

“ why don’t we tell Joel me and you will just scope it out? That could be nice. Like a little get away “

“ yeah nothing says romantic getaway like camping out at an old museum “ you rolled your eyes and wriggled from her grasp but she grabbed you back around your waist and pulled you back “ hey don’t get grumpy I was joking “ she said with a laugh, nuzzling her face against your neck. It actually could be nice. Some time alone without Joel waking her up or Ellie charging in because she found a feral cat and wanted to adopt it.

Not that she’d change any of that for the world.

“ so you’ll ask Joel? “

“ I’ll ask Joel “ you turned around in her arms again and beamed a smile at her. You always got your way and you were always just as smug about it. Not that she really cared anymore. She’d do anything and everything if it meant you’d be happy.

“ it’ll be nice. You were joking that it wouldn’t be romantic but I’m gonna romance your fuckin pants off. You watch “

“ oh you are? “ she asked with amusement in her tone, watching you cook up the ideas your head

“ yup. We’ll be like the modern day Romeo and Juliet. Or. Juliet and Juliet? “

“ don’t they both die? “ she asked with a quirked eyebrow

“ I’m trying to be romantic now and you’re ruining it “ she couldn’t help but laugh at you. Not because she was making fun of you. Because you were.. sweet. You pressed a quick kiss to her lips before escaping her arms again, pulling open a kitchen drawer “ trust me I have this all planned already. You’re gonna come back from this trip and you’ll be ruined for anyone else “

“ as if I’m not already “

“ I’m serious! “ you called, disappearing into the hall and returning a moment later with a notepad and pen “ I’ll make a list of things we’re gonna need. It’s like what a couple days for a trip there, look around, then back? Will you get Maria to let us out with our horses tomorrow? Oh! No. Just your horse. That’s step one. That’s romantic “ she watched you in amusement as you scribbled things down

“ sharing a horse. Romantic. Got it “ you looked up at her and raised an eyebrow

“ why are you still here? Joel. Maria. Off you go. Go go! “ she shook her head but did as she was told, first walking over to you and pressing a kiss to your head and then your cheek.

“ yes ma’am “ she joked before heading for the door.

“ I love you! “

“ love you too, you sap “

[rosetta-j-stone]

So

Am back from Maribor and Vienna gigs

Guys (g/n).

I was NOT ready.

OK so first off.

Maribor!

...honestly it is a miracle I made it to this gig at all.

Got late arvo/early eve train from Lux to Koblenz (did a unit from my Colloquial Slovanian book like a NERD), was already prepared for 3-hour (ugh) wait for the night train, was NOT prepared for the 2-hour delay to said night train. And then there was no running water in the whole carriage I was in. For a 12-hour journey. Lads.

Anyway we miraculously made up some of the time en route (look last time I did this they managed to be EVEN LATER arriving at the terminus) so I was only (hoho) an hour late into Vienna. Just enough time to get a refund processed (yessss), buy a ticket for the train to Graz leaving an hour sooner than the train I'd planned to get (because, you guessed it, that train was also delayed, though not by much) and leap on that earlier train.

Why do I put myself through this chaos? Oh right, the GORGEOUS Alpine scenery. That's why. AND it was snowing <3 <3 <3

After changing trains in Graz, I got to Maribor with just about enough time to find my hotel, drop my bags and head out to the venue. Halfway there, I realise I've forgotten my bag with my Miklavžev gift for the boys. Boooooo. When I get to the gig, I realise I've missed the soundcheck. Boooooo. And I have no time to check my things into the cloakroom before everyone else comes in from General Entry. Boooooooo.

Still, a great gig! Really enjoyed seeing Jet Black Diamonds live too. Also Lips and Demoni confirmed ultimate live gig power couple. I need a mash-up like yesterday. Also also I was on the Jan/Bojan side of the stage and, ugh, Jan is just so cool isn't he? We have no choice but to stan. Afterwards got me some merch awww yissss. But dead on my feet so didn't stick around for stamping/signing/etc.

Managed to get taxi back to hotel - night buses not a thing and I was NOT up for walking (see above), slept like the dead.

Spent the following day and a half in Maribor, 13 years since I was last there(!!!), nice to explore it for myself, here are some pics : )

Number of ladies who thought I was actually a Slovenian person - two (one because I am word-perfect re: Bela Snežinka)

Number of records purchased from Gramofonoteka: zero

Number of beers purchased from Gramofonoteka: one

Number of cassettes purchased from Gramofonoteka: two

Number of advent-wreath lighting ceremonies attended: one

Number of kranjska klobasas purchased: one (but SO GOOD)

Number of Christmas markets visited: both

Number of times I said: 'dobro razumem, ampak slabo govorim' - many

Number of times I mentioned having a friend from Maribor/having visited said friend in Maribor 13 years ago - also many

Number of times I said to myself 'I really must get a Slovenian sim card' - also also many

And then back to Vienna via Graz (surprise surprise more delays - train 30 mins late leaving Maribor, only 10 mins late by the time it got to Graz, too bad the train to Vienna left 5 mins before that lol, so got the next train an hour later) - again another case of straight to the hotel and straight out again but this time for dinner with friends and fellow-fans coordinated by local hero (g/n) and fellow Operation SSF (IYKYK) supporter @chibi-chellist - lovely to meet up and geek out <3

And then.

Gig day.

Aaaaaa.

This was everything.

Spent the afternoon/eve/gig with, inter alia, @signoraviolettavalery - so nice to finally meet in person!! - I'm definitely bookmarking (literally, lol, they have bookmarks instead of business cards) the place we went for lunch for future reference.

We also went for a bit of a wander in the centre (during which I utterly failed to find a replacement gift for the boys - previous gift (traditional Luxish bonhommes, pictured) inedible by this point. Škoda).

And then the gig itself! Glad the girls had taken me to get a number for the queue beforehand, saved standing out in the rain for too long. Swapped some bracelets with fellow queuers- as ever, so impressed with what people come up with in this fandom, y'all are so creative and talented <3

We had scoped out the venue the day before(#nerds) and honestly I'm still not sure how they fitted everyone in...but they managed it! We bumped into an Australian guy who was coming to see Joker Out for the first time and told him he was in for a treat.

Understatement of the YEAR.

This was...epic. The energy from the boys, the energy from the crowd, like Maribor was good but this was SOMETHING ELSE. Of course it didn't hurt that:

Bojan wore the REVENGE LACE this time yessssss I forgive them for not bringing the airline outfits back

Bojan came down offstage into the crowd for the inevitable UM karaoke session. And then you know. Passed right in front of us (I mean like RIGHT in front of us) and spoke to me and the Australian guy (because we had previously shouted out about him having come the furthest for the gig).

Bojan: Hey Aussies!

Me, ascending to the astral plane just looking at him: Oh yes I am absolutely an Aussie in this moment, whatever you say my dude

ANYWAY somehow we all survived that and the bit afterwards where

I spoke terrible terrible Slovenian to the boys, handed over my remaining bracelets as gifts along with the Christmas card I got them, and got Bojan to stamp a bra I'd brought along (did I wear that same bra home the next day, you betcha)

I got a picture taken of Bojan pointing at my ARE YOU tattoo

ANYWAY then we (me and my friends/fellow-fans, not me and the boys, can you imagine lol) went for drinks and so yeah I got back to the hotel at 2, got to sleep at 4, got up at 7, got a flight back to Lux at half nine and was back at work right after lunch.

And then I had Slovenian class X D

In conclusion: Best. Joker Out. Tour. Yet.

PS: Here are my souvenir(pop)s (plus bracelets & t-shirt not pictured)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC HI don't mind me i just finished the genloss founders cut and im putting my ful lreview in ur inbox bc u said u weren't gonna watch it i think but i want 2 share my thoughts with someone who will not rip me to shreds for criticizing it even slightly <3

OK. I'M NOT GONNA LIE. IT KINDA SLAPPED. maybe i just think it was really good in comparison to the original four hours of streams that dragged on. i honestly thought the original streams of genloss were longer but NO all three streams add up to about four hours???? it just felt so much longer when i originally watched it i guess!!! u can understand why i am sure. but the founders cut was like two and a half and oh my goddddd cutting out a lot of it made such a huge difference. holy shit. like i definitely did get bored and skip through a little bit but honestly i didn't skip through much!! every time i got to a part where i was like "oh fuck not THIS bit that goes on for 30-45 minutes god dammit" it ended up being like maybe ten minutes at most which was SUCH A GODSEND. i am delighted to report that they cut the half hour cooking bit in the first episode down to like 7-8 minutes <3 the best surprise ranboo could have given me tbh. like with the way things were cut down and framed differently i actually laughed at a couple points????? WILD. did not think i would find any genuine comedy here. lowkey there were points that were funny. insane

honestly with the unfunny bits being cut down, it actually let the slightly more serious lore bits shine more, and the payoff for when it got to the third episode felt SO much more deserved. like. the original streams i'd probably give a 3/10 collectively and that's being generous but i would unironically say the founder's cut deserves like a 7/10. maybe a 7.5 if i found it in myself to ignore the bad special effects. (there was still plenty of bad comedy ngl i still don't know why charlie slimecicle's face was superimposed on a towel. that scene was nothing. it was literally nothing. they could have removed it and it would change nothing but they kept it in idk why)

ANYWAY. if they had released genloss like this first maybe i would unironically be a fan of it now. tbh. i would still be making fun of the bad comedy and the horror that was barely horror but i think i would actually be like participating in the fandom a lil and i would probably find it in me to find some charm in the bad special effects. all in all Not Bad!! not good, but not like actively bad. ofc im still running on the adrenaline of the ending because episode 3 was objectively the best out of them all so maybe my perception is skewed but. kinda decent. 7/10 👍 anyway i hope ur havin a good day i hope to finish pd season one soon over the next couple days!!!!!

taking the cowards route and putting my thoughts under the cut bc a lot of my mutuals these days really enjoy genloss and i don't want them to be mad at me

(genloss crit/neg/whatever under the cut)

dude this makes me so unironically sad . why the FUCK was genloss what it was the first time around when this was obviously the better route to go from the very beginning. I am still staunchly in my "I don't like genloss" position but. I DID WATCH IT. i sat through ALL of the original streams and it was so miserable for me. im not going 2 watxh the directors cut or whatever bc i dont hate myself enough to sit through all of that again but i trust your opinion!! if only it would've been planned out thought out prerecorded videos from the start I also probably would not hate it as much as I do!!! maybe I even would've liked it !!! (<< not likely bc i do have Other Issues with it than just the fact that it was too long too unfunny too unfocused etc whatever im getting into hater territory sorry. always welcome 2 genloss fans to try to explain to my why its Good Actually so i can recommend them actual horror media)

like . the streams added absolutely NOTHING to it other than that final choice scene or whatever. and even if they wanted to do that still u know what would've been an awesome smart choice??? prerecord and edit the whole thing and then premiere THAT video on twitch- then when it comes time for the final choice you can still have people vote!! then you can have two separate endings prepared based on which way the vote was swaying. like. its that easy. it would've made the whole experience so much more enjoyable . ughhghghg the fucking wasted potential on HOURS of unfunny badly improvved bits is so devastating

personally I still cant excuse the bad effects considering the amount of times ranboo bragged about the genloss budget like. maybe you should've used your resources better and also if it would've just been prerecorded from the start things wouldn't look as rushed as they did but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what do I know !!

anyway I'm so glad this version was better but for me it will always ALWAYS be tainted by the . misery I felt while watching the streams lmaoooo . I wanted to like genloss so bad. I tried so hard. head in hands !!!!!!!!!!!

[aesterblaster]

HELLO!! I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE A REQUEST, CAN YOU DO SOMETHING WHERE Rin,Kaiser,Isagi,Bachira, and Chigiri MEET Y/N ON THEIR LIVE STREAM WHERE Y/N IS SAYING HOW GOOD THEY ARE AT SOCCER/FOOTBALL AND PRAISING THEM AND THEY NOTICE IT? HOW WOULD THEY REACT?? AND THEY INVITE Y/N TO A "Date" JUST TO GET ALONG WITH Y/N?? HOW WOULD THEIR ACTIONS CHANGE?? WOULD THEY SMILE?? WOULD THEY MAKE THEMSELVES COOLER??? TY FOR READER AND TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO DO THIS🙃

NO PROBLEM <3 DID THEM INDIVIDUALLY I HOPE THAT'S OK ...WARNING IT'S LONGGGGGG SO THIS IS PT 1

You..You Think I'm Cool?

Songs: Ella Baila Sola - Eslabon Armando / Star Team - Lastclass / Rock Your Body (jerseyclub) - ProdByAbnormal

Characters: Rin , Kaiser

Rin

Honestly he was reluctant about the whole streaming thing

He was for one, worried about his privacy, and for another thing, pretty damn bad at all the video games his manager suggested

So you best believe bro was getting hated on

"Chat...chat, shut up, I'm trying to focus. What the hell, how do I switch perspectives!?" Rin swore he was going to strangle his manager the next time he saw him. Sure, this was supposed to be a publicity stunt, the hot new thing was streaming and Rin had next to no interaction with his fans yadda yadda, but if anything he felt like this was hurting his public image. It took him 10 minutes yesterday to figure out how to switch weapons without blowing himself up or wasting ammo in the process. And to make things worse, his brother was already pretty popular on the streaming site just doing meditation and daily skincare. That would've been the easier route probably but he'd rather be damned to hell than risk making it look like he was copying Sae.

That didn't stop his brothers rabid fans from decending on his chat though, making it run 20 miles per hour with insults and comparisons. "Why is he wearing a hoodie? I bet he's chubbier than Sae and scared to show it." "Your brother could probably beat you at this too" "Remember when Sae's bf kicked you in the face LOL" So Rin decides to ignore it, or try to. He hates to let these trolls get to him. He knows there will be clips all over social media but he can feel the veins in his forehead bulging with every missed shot on his video game and every extra jab from each comment. Just as he feared they're picking apart every last detail of his setup, his carrer and of course someone from the chat logs into the game just to camp and kill him over and over again.

The internet is a cruel, cruel place, but that doesn't mean there is no good. "(Y/URL) sent a voice message!" Rin jumps, he didn't even know the platform could read things out loud. "Hello! I just wanted to say don't listen to these asshats! You're an amazing strategist and player and I've admired you since your first match. You deserve to be called the GOAT of every game you're in." Rin doesn't smile at the compliment, it doesn't mean anything if he hasn't beaten his brother yet right? But the athlete's forehead does get a bit less vascular and his cheeks less flushed in anger and more in surprise at the kind comment. He ends up tentatively responding, "Thanks, uhh, (Y/URL) for tuning in..." And then, against his better judgement, he goes off script from what his manager told him to say. Asking how your day's going and starting a conversation.

He's still horrible at this game, but at least up until the stream ends he had one kind interaction. Maybe he will stream again tomorrow...

Kaiser

The fact that your comment even got noticed is a damn miracle

So many fans.. ngl the only way you'd be able to get his attention is with a weird question

Kaiser honestly wishes that Ness would stop trying to jump into his stream every five seconds. For once he's trying to do an actually serious little sit down and talk with his fans and the lunatic keeps showing up behind him in his shots and answering questions next to him. The comments on his stream are a mix of different languages, all of them have the same excited tone though. While he's trying to shoo Ness out of the room it's revealed that he's wearing boxers with no pants. Of course, Kaiser genuinely doesn't care about his fans seeing his body. He's posted so many different mirror selfies that there are edits online just using those photos of him instead of footage from his games. What can he say, he likes showing off his tattoos.

Kaiser usually streams talks and answering questions once a month but this is the second time this month because one of his sponsors recently got in a huge scandal. Unfortunately, there was a photo floating around of him shaking hands with some bigwig that turned out to be a creep and now everyone was jumping up to cancel him. The blonde said that he didn't care and he knew that it would all blow over, but anyone close to him knew that this was affecting him more than he lead on. He fed off and thrived off the praise others gave him, no matter how much he degraded and disregarded the people around him his fans undying adoration spoke to his ego in a way few things could. So to watch those thirst comments disappear in favor of accusations, sarcasm and negative emotes made him squirm a bit. No wonder Ness kept trying to jump in a take the heat for him.

He skimmed a few comments, refuting and responding where he could until he got to your comment. Extremely out of place among the others, it was a simple gushing of praise before finishing off with "and how did you come up with your signature move?" His back straightens. "Ahahah, thank you. Of course I'm one of the world's best players and honestly it was quite easy. After a few years of practice and watching back many of my matches I realized how great my balance and poise was...." This leads to about an hour long ramble, much to the horror of everyone else watching the stream. Kaiser doesn't care though. Someone, after all, is watching this on the other side of the stream and feeling very special having all his attention to themselves.

"Of course, it all comes from the hips, and if you didn't live so far away maybe I could demonstrate for you." he ends with a wink before seemlessly going back to the other commenters.

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

This is gonna be a long one yall, so feel free to skip and just send asks about my progress if you don't wanna read through it. Otherwise...

So, I didn’t really have much of an update for you all in February. Reason: it is my birthday month, and I was being a lazy little hedonist, teehee 🤎

In hindsight, February/March has also been one of the most rigorous months for my workplace as well. We have about 33 contracts that we have to get out to the organizations that we fund and unfortunately our legal department, our comptroller's office, and our commissioner has been H-Town stomping on our balls for the past 3 months.

Needless to say, ya girl is tired lol.

I am, of course, pushing through it because I promised this update a LONG time ago, and whenever I don't deliver I feel as if I age 20 years. I know technically I'm running myself ragged again but I can't bring myself to worry about it now. Especially, when I'm the reason why I'm working like a Yorkshire pig.

Clerical Update

Mostly just playing around in Twine, and answering asks. I wanted to do something for February cause it is the month of love, but I think I ended up getting overwhelmed with real life and other shit so that went to the gutter.

I think I'm gonna hire someone to make a special UI for me... I'm tired of fighting with twine, and I really just want to focus on writing, so if anyone has like recommendations for twine/tweego wizards or thinks that they can take a crack at it, let ya girl know.

I am paying.

Progress Update

So... Not a lot of progress was made in February month lol but again. The laz was real~

March was MUCH more progressive, (probably cause I ended up stressing myself out about getting the game out by Summer (June or July ???) Tentative of course 🥴🥴🥴)

Overall, i am at 80k+ words!

Progress for Routes

Search and Destroy: <1%

Interlude (TBA): 5%

To be well: Completed

Yes, you read that right... I have officially finished writing to be well and have transitioned into draft editing for that route🎉🎉

Writing the final part of that route has inflicted psychological and visceral damage to my soul 💀 I thought I would be ok honestly like I just knew I was gonna be able to keep chugging along, but it hurt a little more than I imagined.

I'm ok tho, and I promise y'all will be ok too! I think? So don't worry too much!

Now I plan on pushing this draft through editing at least 3 times. The first time will be solely for missing scenes, evaluation of scenes, and then re-working them. The second time will be more focused on the characters and how they feel in the game. I'm aiming to flesh them out, and add breath to their actions and words. So fingers crossed I'm successful 🤞🏿🤞🏿

The third and final draft will be solely grammatical. If I catch anything funky in there, I'll patch it up but the goal is that for the third draft the number of mistakes are gonna be few. Heh, like that will actually happen.

After this is done, I'll go ahead and plug it into twine, test out the codes, and then send it to beta testers.

I also want to talk about beta testing for a minute too, cause we are getting into that hour.

its gonna be SUPER important that I get a good portion of beta testers due to the variability of this update. (If y'all think this current update is bad just wait 🥴🥴) Like, I'm only one person, and unfortunately for me, there are only so many errors I can catch.

I'll be releasing a survey again for people to fill out if they are interested. It'll be open for a month, and then decisions made in the following two weeks.

Next Months and Remaining Month Plans

Edit, edit, edit!!

Finish the touches on the Interlude.

Technically the piece of that is going in the update is gonna be significantly smaller than what I intended. Which is ok, cause ya girl was gonna lose her mind 🥴🥴

Start Search and Destroy

I think that's it? Again if you have questions, please let me know! Love y'all 🤎🤎

[sepyana]

Revolutionary Girl Utena (Sega Saturn) Playthrough: Part 2

The adventure continues! Sanjouin Chigusa sure is mysterious huh?

Note: I didn't add screenshots of the shower scenes. They should be on ohtori.nu gallery though. You can also look at their forum archive for the english patch.

The student council has a meeting about the whole duel challenge situation. They have us join too.

Utena mentions how having a meeting outside at night is a dumb idea. Touga admits this is for the aesthetic, so gotta stay in the cold Utena. Sanjouin is a new student so I guess it makes sense that they can't recognize her. I'm gonna assume she had a differen't outfit and haircut.

Saionji is suspicious of us. It would be understandable if it weren't for everyone seeing Sanjouin running away. Utena (and chu-chu) comes in to defend us, that's in character for her.

After the meeting we go back home. We don't have a bed yet sadly. When we mention that to Utena she allows us to sleep next to her. I checked out the other option (sleeping on the floor) and Chu-chu ends up sleeping next you for the night so you don't feel lonely. He gets all red once we give him a smooch on the cheek. What an adorable lil guy honestly.

In the morning we get to talk with Wakaba again. She asks who is in our radar currently. I'm definitely picking Utena. Wakaba is her wife though, so we'll just have to be a mistress along with Anthy. The game allows us to pick one other person. I'm not really interested in the boys, I like them as characters but they do seem annoying to talk to. I might do their routes once I finish this though. So yeah I gave my vote to Juri.

I wasn't expecting to see her at my class, there is no way she is 14. Well, as it turns out, she isn't. She has missed 3 years of school because of an illness. I don't buy it personally.

Poor girl has to mention she is a woman. That doesn't stop every girl in class falling in love with her though.

During class we have to answer a question. We're not sure so Sanjouin whispers the answer to us. I don't trust her so I go with mine, which is the right one. I later went back here to see if I can get relationship points from her. Turns out we can. Her roses are black, It goes great with her colors I won't lie.

Also she says she doesn't remember us? Even tho she xalled us by our name? Asks who named us too. She said "So she is still alive?" when I told her it was my mother. Weird.

For some reason, I got my points lowered for every council member after this. I have no idea why? Is she spreading bad rumors about me or something? If you get closer to her you lose even more points. The game disincentivizes you from interacting with her.

"What the heck?"

We get to have a picnic with Utena and friends after class. Unfortunately, Anthy has made the food. We end up puking our guts out a few hours later.

We have an opportunity to go to one of the school clubs. I went to the fencing hall to talk to Juri. When the protag goes to the chalk white building she ends up finding ruins instead. We ask around to find the actual fencing hall. Juri make us join the practice. Best way to learn is to go for it, she says.

We get her to smile, too! This sweet moment is shortly broken by, of course, Sanjouin. Who challenges Juri to a duel and immediately shows her the locket she stole when Juri refuses. Pretty cruel.

We get to shower with Juri after this. We can either ask about her reason for dueling or about her locket. I feel like it's too early to talck about the locket. I pick the first option and she starts rambling about miracles again. I've always found that to be annoying early on. That plot point gets mostly dropped later in the show, thankfully.

We go to check around the square for gym clothes. We bump into who else but Sanjouin. We get the chance to talk to her a bit more.

I don't wanna ask about a girlfriend to avoid another fiasco. She gets a bit surprised when we ask her about a boyfriend. Apparently, she is really popular with girls but never got a love letter from a boy, not one. She really emphasizes that last part. I do feel bad for her.

There are several places here we can visit. Cafe is for Utena, Japanese Teahouse is definitely for Saionji. Classical cafe is for Touga probably. I couldn't guess the last two. It would make more sense for Juri to be the gamer but It still feels a bit weird for her. I go the "Magnolia Cafe" Utena has mentioned before. They serve rose tea. I like rose flavored Turkish delight so rose tea sounds nice.

We come across Sanjouin again. This time she is waiting for her date. Her date being Kozue. Sanjouin really is like Mikage. Huh.

There are so many gay people on Ohtori yet everyone is homophobic. Internalized homophobia strong enough to melt glass.

We also have a shadow play. Nothing much of note outside of this delightful image. Theater kids.

Now, going back to the East dorm. School's cafereria hasmade too much food today so get to have extra. We can't eat this much, even with Chu-chu. You know what that means. We can invite someone over. I go with Juri.

Topic of Juri losing Utena comes up. Utena denies being actually stronger than her but Juri quickly shuts her down. I mean, they're both right. Juri is definitely the better duelist, but skill doesn't dictate the winner at all. Since the duels are suppose to be metaphors.

It's late but our protag can't sleep (me neither, I'm writing this at 4 am). We go outside to get some fresh air. Utena also couldn't sleep it seems. We get to play volleyball with her (I don't remember which sport). And then shower scene. Utena saying "no I'm normal" when accused of being gay is the funniest shit to me.

A shower always makes me sleepy. We fall asleep pretty much immediately.

Here comes Sanjouin with her date. She has been talking shit about us behind our back to her date. So that's cool. This doesn't go anywhere. I thought we would get more of Kozue because of what happens later (gonna have to put that in part 3) but no. They've just added this for the funsies. I respect it.

There is gym class today. We are in Utena's team. The other team is Sanjouin's. I thought Utena would win for sure but she loses the ball.

I'm gonna see this in my nightmares.

We manage to take the ball from her. Victory doesn't last long as we get hit in the chest pretty hard. Utena is just in the corner of our vision before we faint.

and... Scene!

I'll be rambling a lil bit before finishing this post. I have not talked about my theories at all during this. I didn't know where to put them. If you wanna form your opinions you should stop here ("^^)

.

.

.

I think this is suppose to be a Mikage situation. As you guys know, Mikage being Nemuro's ghost is a popular theory. I never liked it that much but it looks like that's what the show intended. Y'know, since he is an imaginary living body. Sanjouin is probably a similar case to him.

The old fencing hall reminded me of Nemuro memorial hall. That place turned back to ruins after Mikage left the place. The chalk building looked like it's old self when Sanjouin was in it. This would also explain the calendar from 15 years ago. It's possible she was in a love triangle with the protag's mother and father.

I think she loved the protag's father. She gets upset when we mention our mom. She also emphasizes how she never got a love letter from a boy. This would also explain why she hates us.

This also means this was Akio and Anthy's doing most likely. They're the only two with enough magic to do that. This game is just before the black rose arc. I guess she is a test run?

[swiftcola]

okay so i like m3. love it even. the story, the characters, the setting. but obviously it suffers massively from the repetitive uninspired gameplay replacing what could've been a story-rich experience. i've made a few posts before about how i wish it had been and like m3 i like repeating myself so. here's more

the game starts out like any other mafia game. lincoln spends maybe five chapter's worth of time with sammy and ellis before they die. then he recruits cassandra, vito, burke, by helping them kill certain people & establish home territory. there's the sit down, and then the main story splits into 3 separate storylines you can play anytime and in any order. still free roam, so you can explore the map and do whatever, and the missions would appear as icons, like in gta for example. the gameplay is completely different, there's no missions that require hours running around repeating the same 3 tasks. instead you go on missions with the bosses or their seconds (nicki, emmanuel, alma). all of the 3 routes have a set story, enemy rackets, and enemy lieutenants, etc. that each of your 3 bosses wants to take over: for business or personal reasons. missions will be as diverse as they were in mde and m2. after completing a mission, a stronghold will appear on the map (the racket warehouses). but instead of all that prep work you usually have to do, you can just go in and take these over in one go. taking the strongholds isn't required, but doing so bolsters your income and changes ally attitudes towards you: from distrusting but co-operative to appreciative and even loyal. after taking them, lincoln can also make decisions for the better or worse of the city. keep running things this way for a quick payout, or work hard and improve things, invest, for a better city in the long-run.

burke is in a bad way, and about a third of the way into his storyline, he's hospitalised and nicki has to step up. vito dies, passing the mafia franchise baton onto lincoln, just as tommy's death secured vito as the new protagonist. i think it would be a fitting death for him to go out on his own terms after all the shit he's been through. go out taking someone down, finally making a change for the better, sticking it to the mob. i think he would sacrifice himself during the final mission in his storyline, the fight against his designated enemy capo, to ensure lincoln & alma can escape.

sorry, but there's no john donovan. a change of gameplay would make him pretty useless. and imo the initial dossiers he produces for lincoln are just so redundant. the game establishes connections between lincoln and the haitians, burke & vito, before john even arrives. and honestly i don't think there's anything donovan can tell us that we couldn't learn from our local allies. instead, he's replaced with a solider. the only other guy lincoln shipped out with who survived. they say goodbye to each other just before ellis picks lincoln up. drifting in and out of consciousness, lincoln asks father james to find him. his last brother. lincoln swears up and down that they're equals but the two naturally fall into a kind of military hierarchy. lincoln orders him around and he's more than willing to help. perhaps he's also been struggling to return to civilian life, and despite being traumatised by war, he welcomes the structure & purpose lincoln gives him. this man becomes lincoln's second, handles things for him, gathers recon. he approaches lincoln a few times, wanting to talk about his feelings and what happened in vietnam. lincoln can either choose to ignore him ("i don't want to talk about it.") or listen, comfort, and connect with him. if lincoln ignores him too many times, he ends up dying somehow.

i haven't put much thought into who gets which rackets/enemies specifically, but i know cassandra would want to take out the southern union. this gets her frisco fields if i remember correctly, and i think this could introduce a very interesting series of side quests in which you help the voice (or possibly roxy) bring about serious change in this district. i've thought about them helping Black folks move in, protecting them. those first few people will be met with serious resistance, but lincoln helping them to stand their ground will pave the way for more to come. eventually you get cassandra-protected Black businesses, and lincoln can now enter buildings and stores that were previously segregated, opening up more of the map. i know segregation doesn't work that simply, but i'm thinking in terms of expanding gameplay while still keeping m3's discussion of important issues. father james gets his own sidequests too, which help to bring lincoln back down to earth and shine more light on his background, motivations etc. (actually fleshed out with cutscenes and action etc. instead of just going over to talk to him and swiftly moving on) and of course our solider would get his own sidequests. that means the 3 sidequest givers, the voice, father james, and the soldier, each illuminate some different struggle lincoln is going through.

following the death of sal's capos, the storylines reconnect, your 3 bosses reunite (now cassandra, nicki, and alma (i think this would have to depend on your loyalty level with vito and alma. low loyalty alma could possibly turn against lincoln for getting vito killed): who get along much better), and the last few missions are about taking the fight directly to sal. lincoln is not in this alone, he has a lot of allies now who help him push into the casino and up the levels. how much care lincoln gives to others and to the city will be reflected back on him at the end. if he took over ruthlessly and used people carelessly, you get a bad ending. if he helped others and tried to change things for the better, he gets a good ending, etc.

misc stuff: vehicle stores (cars, boats, bikes), purchasing property (businesses, safe houses, garages, boat storehouses), clothing stores, and recreational activities PLEASE

[annieintheaair]

Fake friends on weekends killing me slowly, getting back the time and love that I owed me. Finally getting good at letting go, mastering the art of how to be alone.

This has been quite the week. Once the work trips fall apart, they all seem to fall apart.

Wednesday ended up being "A Day" at my favorite bakery so I left a little earlier than usual to take a detour to get my free pie. It was worth it, even though I didn't realize I had a fork and literally had to fold the pie like a taco to eat it.

I made it to yoga, which was nice. My friends there were trying to be helpful by offering suggestions on places to move. I told them that I was supposed to be moving into an apartment next week but decided not to take it. I feel at peace with that decision.

After yoga, I rushed over to Students. It's sad to think that the school year is winding down and we only have a few weeks left. We're planning on having a summer itinerary though so that we can get together often.

That night at work ended up being a long one. We were supposed to go to San Antonio and boarded the flight, taxied out, and then had to go back to the gate due to the weather en route to San Antonio. Once we were back at the gate, the pilots called out fatigued since the fight got delayed until 5am. All of the routes to SAT were closed. We tried to call out fatigued, too, but they threatened us with zero pay and missed trips. Instead, they sent us to the hotel for a couple of hours. We had to Uber there and back and of course, they set it up that the Uber dropped us off at the training center and not the hotel so it was a long walk. By the time I got to my room, I had less than two hours to nap before getting back up at 3:40am to get ready, head back to the airport, and work the SAT turn. We got back late on Thursday, which was also pretty crappy.

Thursday night I wanted to call out from work but went since I was flying with friends. Everything went relatively smoothly and I made it to yoga on Friday afternoon. It was just what I needed.

Friday night turned out somewhat okay and Saturday morning I napped for a very short time before pulling myself off of my couch to go to slow flow yoga. I left there dripping in sweat and so exhausted but thought I'd try to go to Central Market and Trader Joe's but neither was a success since the crowds all came out and the parking was limited. I ended up going home and hanging out until it was time to go back to work.

I thought for sure we were going to cancel last night because they reassigned our pilots and had to find us new ones. The new ones were super close to going illegal so I wasn't sure that we would get out on time given the storms and the ramp being closed. We made it to Oklahoma City anyway, though it was later than planned, which also meant less sleep.

I can't tell you have relieved I was to get home this morning and know that I'm off for the night. I had every intention of going to church in Fort Worth but I was too tired to get up from my nap until the afternoon when I decided to run a few errands in town.

It's weird that it's Cinco de Mayo and I'm completely sober. I remember so many Cinco de Mayos before wanting to get a margarita all day. Back in 2015, I was a new hire flight attendant on reserve, calling scheduling every hour to ask if they'd release me so I could go to the Mexican restaurant next to my apartment to get a margarita. Even though this year is very different, I still might grab a margarita after yoga tonight.

This month marks one year since I moved across the metroplex. It honestly feels like it has been the longest year. It has been filled with a lot of good but also a lot of bad.

I remember going to my first yoga classes in Fort Worth and being that new person who knew no one and for the first few months, the instructors didn’t even know my name. I felt like I just couldn’t find my groove or fit in anywhere. I didn’t feel at home at all.

For most of last summer, I spent Tuesday through Thursday back in my old town, mainly so I could go to my yoga classes. I’d drop my dogs off at their sitter on Tuesdays and then live like a homeless person until Thursday afternoon. I’d go to yoga at noon on Tuesday, spend my afternoon running errands, going to appointments, and working from coffee shops. I’d fly on Tuesday nights and then make my way back there Wednesday for another yoga class and eventually Students in the evenings when school was back in session. I’d fly Wednesday nights, too, and then Thursday I’d go to one last class before picking up my dogs and heading home.

It was really rough living that life and now I can’t even imagine how I ever did that because lately I come home from work and crash on my couch for a good chunk of the day between trips. I’m working more than I’ve worked in years and it is really draining me. A friend sent me a meme a few years ago, back when I worked a lot, and it said something like, “My mom said I need to find a rich man. I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man!’” Life would definitely be better and easier if we finally got our new contract, a raise, and some retro pay, but whether we do or we don’t, my goal is to try to earn 6 figures this year and if I keep flying as much as I am right now, that very well might be possible.

I’m learning to make the best out of every situation and appreciate the things I have. I think that a lot of times, we don’t realize what we have until it’s too late. I’m learning to work with what I have to reach my goals even if other things in my life don’t improve.

It has been almost 2 years since I lost Dan and rereading some of his texts now makes me realize all the things I wish I had now, are all the things I had when he was alive. I wanted someone to fight for me and believe in fixing things instead of walking away. I wanted someone to feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to them. Shortly after he passed away, I made a little video since there was a text message trend going on. I'll share it here:

Reading over Dan's old texts made me realize that at one point, we switched roles. Dan went from being the avoidant to being the anxious one. In our relationship, long before all of these texts, and in my relationships since, Dan sounded like me. All the things he said to me are things I've said to guys I've had in my life since. He never wanted to let me go a day without knowing how he felt about me, and it means so much to me to look back on all of that now and know that at one point in my life, there was a guy who thought the world of me and loved me despite my flaws.

These last few months have allowed me a lot of time to shift my focus. I've been working more, making more money, prioritizing my health/fitness, trying to make new friends and maintain friendships with old ones, spending time with family, and really learning more about myself and what I want in my life. I've also had the opportunity to spend more time with God, reading my devotionals and praying for guidance.

When we drove home from Oklahoma a few weekends ago, my friend Nancy made me realize that it's ok to take a pause and enjoy being single and not dating right now. I'm getting the opportunity to self-reflect and realign my priorities. It's ok to put yourself first and do what makes you happy. I'm ok right now pausing dating and pausing my move to be able to work on other more important things. With God, anything is possible and sometimes, you just need to let go and let God.

xoxo

Annie

[loopednetwork]

Starting With GitHub Copilot

I wrote about this briefly on Mastodon, but tonight I started using GitHub Copilot for the first time. I figured it would be good to get comfortable and fluent with how to leverage tools like this instead of falling into FUD about our AI overlords taking over.

My initial impressions are honestly fairly positive. The first thing that I wanted to do was update the JavaScript for one of my simple websites. As soon as I named a variable, Copilot figured out what I wanted to do. When I added a conditional after that variable, it also accurately deduced my intention. This was a fairly simple use-case, though, so I next started up a new project to make a TUI Mastodon client.built

As I initially started building out the framework of files I would need, Copilot tried to make recommendations, most of which were pretty bad. That's understandable, though, give the lack of context for it; I just ignored what it was suggesting. After I had a couple of classes built out, though, it started to be quite helpful. In my initial impressions after a couple of hours, it offers benefits in 3 main areas, all based around names (variables, methods classes) and comments:

Function/method initialization: The LLM (large language model) allows it to make recommendations for what I need when creating a new function or method.

Routing: Copilot was able to determine from context that I was trying to interface with the Mastodon API, and it provided recommendations on the route I needed to leverage as I wrote methods. This was super cool to me.

Understanding how my code fits together: Given that I'm using C# for this project, literally everything is an object, so there are a lot of moving parts to fit together. Copilot seems to be quite good at figuring how which methods to call and which properties to pass when parts of my code talk to one another.

Aside from being bad at architecture, there are also several other potential pitfalls. Copilot was more than happy to recommend code which could potentially crash my application with zero error checking. For example, in attempting to load a configuration file, there was nothing to deal with the potential for the file (or even the parent directory/directories) to be missing. That being said, it provided me with the syntax for loading the file, and when I removed that and started to implement a try/catch block, it quickly jumped in to recommend the same file read within that block and even the potential exception types I may have wanted to catch. So I still think it's very helpful, but it doesn't eliminate the need for due diligence.

The only overt problem I had was a scenario where I was catching a potential exception. If the exception was one of 2 types, I wanted to handle that in a particular way. If the exception was anything else, I wanted to crash the program. I made a simple conditional to check the exception type. If that wasn't met, Copilot recommended that I do:

throw e;

To re-throw the original exception (which had been caught with catch(Exception e). However, this generated a compiler warning:

Re-throwing caught exception changes stack information

A quick check online showed me that the appropriate way to do this is to simply use:

throw;

This is minor, but I'm imagining it could be more of a headache in a dynamic language like Python that doesn't have the compiler yelling at me.

On the whole, though, I still think Copilot is a useful tool that saved me a decent bit of time tonight from having to look up the particulars of a language with which I'm still not completely fluent. On the other hand, I wonder if not looking things up and typing them out myself will make it harder for me to feel comfortable and proficient with a language in the long term. I guess time will tell, as I intend to at least make the most of my time with Copilot during the 60 days I can use it for free in order to determine if I think it's a useful tool or a detriment in the long run.

[h-doodles]

OKAY so

1.) all the characters in this novel are fixable <3 (/j bc these characters are NUANCED actually they have DIMENSIONS!!!! but also. /srs,,,, im sorry but the big brain moment has not stopped yet so. keep that in mind while reading!!!!)

like not to have yet some takes but,,,, cass? she learns the power of actual love & being a functioning human in the course of her route. bela? resolved when she got her heart back <3. dani? with proper support and nourishment she learns to stand up for herself and manage her emotions! angie? learns to slow down and change the more destructively chaotic things to less damaging but no less chaotic habits. alcina? learned to be a better person & reopening back to being the mother of her girls (a little too late for her relationship w/ dani esp with the complication with MC sadly). donna? my god. she learns to trust another person with her heart again, against all odds. and miranda? well hehe. she FIXED us <3 jk. naur not really, but the moment we are back to her, she absolutely mellows.

2.) MEOW THANK YEW im absolutely insane about analyzing Donna & Miranda bc THEY are the moment. they are the 2 routes i keep rereading for (but ofc Mommy Meander owns a majority share of it!!!!) which truly speaks to an insane amount of skill for @cinderspots to keep me hooked. honestly i loved all the routes but THEM. THEY TRULY ARE THE MOMENT. thank u author yet again i will meow about it for forever!!!!!!

3.) also meow. meow. meow. EXACTLY THAT. she's spiraling hard and like what @atropalugosi said in their tags:

THEY ARE MORE ALIKE THAN SHE COULD THINK AND I FEEL THAT SCARES MIRANDA SO BAD. THEY ARE TOO SIMILAR AND FOR MC TO FALL WITH A MIRROR VERSION OF HERSELF IS AN ABSOLUTE SLAP TO HER FACE AND THAT IS WHY I AM MEOWING SO LOUD ABOUT IT. THEY ARE MIRRORS AND THEY ARE ALSO ONE IN THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!

4.) KDBDLDKDN help HELP HELPPPPPP

"The parallels make so much sense cause Miranda's influence also poisons the water supply if you get what I mean."

IM GOING FUCKING INSANE SHE ABSOLUTELY DOES AND HONESTLY. SLAY. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 also go on actually. i love seeing unhinged takes like HON. we're really all in the asylum here. the bela stans are getting escorted back into their rooms to take their meds, the cass stans are in the cafeteria for their hobby time, donna stans are outside getting some sun in the garden, angie fans are in their straightjackets, alcina fans are having their tea, dani stans are running around for physical excercise hour, and us miranda stans are having a very nice time in the doctor's office!

5.) in the end, im just gonna meow and say, ABSOLUTELY <3

*banging pots and pans* donna stans. donna stans come get ur fresh hot takes. donna stans!!!!

anyways hee hee thank u once again @zeleneagle for letting me meow so hard!!! truly are an inspiration <3

[peralta-guaranteed]

One of my favorite things to imagine and think about is how Rosa and Jake met. Like here is this doofus looking white boy, and this badass scary Latina (who is honestly probs nervous for the academy). Rosa gets worried when he starts talking to her but he just talks about die hard and sour candy the whole time???? Is not racist or sexist??? Or hitting on her??? And she is,,,,, confused?? Like who is this straight white boy and why is he not being a dick?

Rosa canonly said it took her a couple of weeks to like him so I’m just imaging those weeks of her realizing she has this friend who is amazing and it warms my heart every time. I need more fics from Rosa’s POV of them meeting

Day 1 - everyone here sucks. As expected. At least it'll be over in 6 months and I can get to actual work. Day 2 - we were separated in groups and would you believe it, my whole group is nothing but white dudes, how wonderful. They already made 4 jokes about 'those latinos'. Day 3 - One of the dudes picked a fight with the latino jokers. Might not be the worst apple of the bunch. Day 4 - IS HE EVER GONNA SHUT UP Day 5 - he does not shut up Day 6-7 - weekend and peace, no noise. Definitely don't miss the constant background chatter about stupid things. Day 8 - Made the mistake of asking him how his weekend was. 3 hour chatter. Day 9 - he brought in donuts and offered me one, no thanks. Not gonna go down that flirting route. "They're for everyone" okay but he offered none to the others and ate them all himself. Day 10 - Donut holes this time. I ate one. Is this what you call someone's face "lighting up"? Gross. Day 11 - whole box of donut holes for him, whole box of donut holes for me. Wanted to throw them in his face telling him not to try any shit with me, I can see the random flirt / guilttrip coming. He turned it into a fucking game instead. Day 12 - I can't believe he caught that donuthole from seven rows down, actually impressive. Day 13-14 - weekend and peace again. Did not consider ordering donut holes during brunch. Day 15 - brought my own donut holes so there wouldn't be any misunderstandings about who owes who. He managed a double-wall-hit catch. Biggest grin after my thumbs up, that was probably a mistake. Day 16 - off-track training. He ate face 15 minutes in. Only helped him up so our team time wouldn't suffer. Did earn me good help during the next obstacle course. And a high five, which I refused. Day 17 - he did the off-track training without fail, he deserves that high five. Day 18 - apparently he's a huggy drunk. And even chattier. Not good. Note: watch out for his dad during graduation. Bring knife. Day 19 - he came in with a black eye and wouldn't explain. Finally did when I twisted his arm just right. Latino jokers took it too far yesterday. Note: do not leave bars before him. Day 20-21: weekend is too quiet. Does he have an icepack for his eye? Gonna text him to buy frozen peas. He definitely does not have vegetables anywhere in his place. Day 22: His eye looks better. Asked if I needed any peas for dinner. Day 23: One of the latino jokers is out of the class. Teach wouldn't explain why. Got a clear wink from his black eye, though. Does that mean I owe him now? Day 24: patrol training. Thought his chatter was bad? Try his radio singing. Day 25: patrol training again. Apparently we were meant to pick partners and switch around. Was not notified of that when he handed me our assignment. It's fine though. Day 26: patrol training. Fuck, can he run, though. Chased that decoy perp for 12 blocks, I recon. Then texted me he got lost. Day 27-28: weekend. Text for drinks. Did not leave bar before him because I had to bring him home. His place is horrible. Fixed the broken oven so now he can have 'the best frozen pizza in the world' again. Day 29: His mom called during lunch break. Adorable how his voice changes. But shit, he talked about this 'cool friend' he made. Day 30: mom called me, asked how I was doing. Seemed very happy I mentioned a new friend. Day 31: there was only one orange soda left at the bodega for lunch break. That and donut holes got me a hug. Feels weird. But good.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

A Bad Feeling Pt 1

Levi x Reader

Part 1

Paring: Levi Ackerman x Cadet reader

Warnings: 18+ attempted rape/assault, cursing, mention of injury, violence

Summary: Reader feels uncomfortable around a overly friendly captain. Are they just over reacting? Or is there something else going on. What will Levi do when he finds out?

***************************************************

A.n. ok so I literally wrote this in one go, it's probably trash but I wanted to post it anyway. Please lemme know what you think in the comments! Thank you!

"Y/n! captain Oro is asking for you" you did your best to hide the discomfort Armins words made you feel.

You smiled what you hoped was a convincing one and nodded. With a deep breath you made your way to Captains Oro's office.

Ever since you had been introduced to him those few weeks ago, he had taken a special liking to you. At first you had been excited, having such a highly skilled and well known captain take notice of you was one of the best feelings. Especially since your squad leader, Levi wasn't exactly heavy on praise.

Everyone loved Captain Oro, he was known for his strength and stamina on the battle field. He was both charismatic, and charming. Your fellow cadets practically swooned over him. You couldn't help but also get caught up in his perfection. At first that is..

Over time you noticed things about your meetings that put you on edge. An unnecessary shoulder touch here, a too low pat on the back there. Something was off. And although you had done your best to distance yourself from him, it was hard when your squads often had to work together.

But it was hard to say anything against him because even your cold blooded captain seemed to enjoy his presence.

Once you brought it up to your friend Sasha, about how you felt he was being too friendly. But she waved her hand and basically said you were worrying for nothing, he was just a friendly guy. And you were being dramatic.

Maybe you were overreacting? If captain levi approved of him, surely that meant he was a decent person right? Maybe he was just being really really friendly.

You decided to give him a chance and knocked on his door when you finally arrived.

"Come in" a muffled voice came from the other side.

With a click you entered the candlelit room. It was nearing sundown after all.

"Ah cadet y/n! Perfect, I was wondering if I might ask your opinion on something?" He smiled angelically and gestured towards a parchment on his desk.

"Of course sir" you nodded and approached him, reminding yourself of what sasha said. Just relax.

From the way the parchment was positioned you had no choice but to come to his side of the desk.

"Do you see this area here?" He gestured to what you now saw was a map. "What do you think of leading a squad through here instead of what we originally planned?"

The next 30 minutes you spent completely and professionally discussing strategies. Being the member of your squad that was best at this, made him asking for you completely justified. You felt bad for ever doubting his intentions.

"Thank you y/n, I think I have a better idea of what course we should pursue on our next expedition" he smiled sincerely.

"I'm glad I could be of service" you nodded and allowed a relaxed smile to pass your features. Feeling stupid you had judged him so harshly.

" If you wouldnt mind just one more thing?" You nodded as he pulled out a stack of papers.

"If you could look over this report of the last mission before I send it out? See if theres anything else to add?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to Captain" you grabbed the stack.

"And please if you can, return them to me tonight, I'll need them for the meeting bright and early"

"Yes sir, I'll finish it asap, good evening" and with that you exused yourself.

Tonight? It was already sundown. Well whatever, hes so busy he probably doesn't know what time of day it is.

You found a quiet spot amonsgt the crowds in the common room and got to work.

************************************

"Oi brat, it's passed curfew, go to your room now, we have important work tommorow" the unmistakable voice of your captain rang through the now empty hall.

You looked up in surprise and meet his usual scowl, not even realizing how late it had gotten.

"Hai, s-sorry captain, I'll go now" you gathered the report and quickly left, not wanting to receive another scolding for taking too long.

Oh crap you still had to deliever the report. Changing routes you snuck quietly down the familiar hallways. Not particularly feeling like running into Levi again. Something about him always made you act just a little dumber and it was definitely not because of your non existent crush on him...definitely not.. he was just intimidating is all.

*knock knock*

You waited patiently but there was no answer. Crap did he already go to bed? But he knew I was coming? Ugh what should I do? He needs these reports..

With a sigh you change direction again and head for his personal chambers. There was no way you were getting in trouble for not delivering these reports on time.

You smiled when you saw dim light flood from beneath the door.

Lightly you knocked, "Captain Oro, its y/n, sorry it's so late but I have the rep-" you were cut off abruptly when the door swung open and there stood Oro.

Except he looked nothing like the Oro you were used too seeing. His hair was loose from it's normal slicked back do, and the edges were dripping slightly. His shirt was loosely thrown on revealing a decent amount of skin. He must've just bathed.. you could see why the girls were so obsessed with him. He was, platonically speaking, a very gorgeous man.

You were taken aback but reminded yourself that you did knock after hours so of course he wasnt going to be all soldiered up.

"U-um s-sorry Captain, I have the reports" you averted your eyes and shoved the reports in his direction.

"Ah y/n, thank you, would you please put them on my table? My hands are still slightly wet." He laughed holding them up innocently.

"S-sure" god why were you stuttering so much, you fight goddamn titans for a living?! But somehow you were more nervous now than when a 10meter was clawing at you.

You entered the room and tried to avoid looking around too much.

You always wondered what the inside of the higher ups rooms look-

*click*

You whipped around, alarm bells suddenly back in full force.

"Captain what are you-"

"You're such a good girl, you know that y/n?" Oros whole demeanor changed and you cursed yourself for not trusting your earlier instincts.

"U-um" you really did not know what to say or do as he took a couple steps closer.

"Always so obedient for me, I think you deserve a reward don't you?"

Shit

"That's not...that's not necessary captain, I really should be going" you tried to lunge for the door but he was quicker and much much stronger.

"I don't believe I dismissed you cadet..." he purred pinning your arms to the door in the blink of an eye.

You were by no means weak, but your struggles were useless against him.

"Let me go" it took all your strength not to stutter in fear.

"How adorable, you know I love it when you follow my orders so well, but I think..." you shivered in disgust as you felt his lips near your neck and press down.

"I'd like to see you fight me as well" you whimpered as he sucked and bit down on the soft flesh.

"S-stop it, p-please" he smirked and looked into your fearful eyes with his lustful ones. "Stop? But that's not what you really want is it? You see I know exactly how girls like you are" he chuckled darkly and moved one of his hands to grip both your arms, while the other slid lower. You gasped when he cupped your breast. "S-stop! I'll, ill scream If you don't!" You felt a tear slide down your shaking form.

"Scream?" He snickered like you had told the funniest joke.

"Go ahead and scream doll, itll be very interesting to see what happens"

"W-what?" You were utterly confused.

"Think about it, if someone walks in on us, what would they think? Seeing a cadet after hours in her superiors chambers?"

"B-but I! I was bringing the reports i wasn't-!"

"Do you honestly think theyll care what you have to say? Who do you think theyll believe y/n? You a nobody cadet who's been fighting titans for 3 seconds? Or me, a selfless hero whos saved countless of scouts lives? All I have to tell them is that you came into my room and tried to seduce me. When I tried to restrain you, you screamed. Who do you think theyll listen too? Why else would you be here so late at night?"

"Y-You're..you're insane, you're not a hero, y-you're a coward who-" he grasped your jaw harshly causing you to wince.

"I'd watch that mouth of yours y/n" he squeezed harder. I am your superior after all, and we wouldnt want any nasty rumors going around that would have you suspended from the survey corps now would we?" He bent down and to your horror pressed his lips against yours.

Fuck fuck what do I do?!? Hes blackmailing me now. I cant fight him, hes too strong, think think think.

But your mind was blank when his cold lips pressed against your lips again. "Open your mouth" he ordered in a voice laced with animilistac lust.

You abruptly turned your head away desperate to get away.

"Heh, always such a tease" he traced a finger up and down your cheek, flipping over your lips. "I'll enjoy this-"

"CAPTAIN ORO, COMMANDER ERWIN REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE IN HIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY" a voice shouts from the other side of the locked door.

With an annoyed sigh, Oro pulls away slightly, "Did he say why?" He lazily looks over in the direction of the door.

"NO SIR!"

"guess it can't be helped... Alright tell him I'll be there shortly" he yelled out.

"Hai" the footsteps recended and you stood deathly still.

He pulled away from you and you immediately pulled your wrists to you, they were an angry red, and it scared you how much strength he had so effortlessly displayed.

"Sorry doll, it looks like we'll have to continue this another night" he stepped away and began dressing normally as if he hadn't just been assaulting you 5 second ago. You quickly make for the door but his voice falters your step, "Oh and y/n?"

You dont look at him, but fear held you in place until he finished, "If you mention our little moment to anyone, you know what will happen" you nodded quickly, anything to appease him and get out.

When the door shut behind you, you felt the flood of tears break through.

D-did, d-did that really happen?!?

You held a hand to quiet your sobs and quickly dashed through the hallways.

You're heart thumped and you felt the need to vomit. You hadn't felt this way since the first time youd encounted a titan. All you wanted to do was get to the safety of your room, just through the hall.

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on you when a cold voice shouted out and halted your movements. Please not now, oh god any time but now.

"Oi cadet y/n are you deaf as well as dumb? I asked you a question.

"Why are you out past curfew?" he sounded definitely annoyed and you gathered all your strength to hold the sobs out of your voice.

Without turning around you answered, "I-I had to deliver some r-reports..I'll head to my room now.." you stepped forward hoping he would let you go but you were not so lucky.

"Oi brat, did you hit your head? I didn't dismiss you yet. Not to mention you haven't even addressed me properly, maybe some time cleaning up horse shit will remind you how to respect your superiors" fuck he was definitely angry now.

Still you didn't turn around, you couldn't..."S-sorry Captain Levi, I'll do better in the future.." you barely could even focus on the words coming out of your mouth, your heart was beating a mile a minute. Please just leave me alone!

"Hahh" Levi uttered in disbelief and severe annoyance, even the most novice of cadets turn around when being spoken to by a superior. "Are you trying to piss me off brat?!?"

"No sir..." still you didnt turn around, but gulped in fear when you heard sharp footsteps near you.

"Cadet y/n, you have three seconds to turn around and salute me properly before I throw you into the cells for insubordination" he ordered in his dangerously calm voice, that you never thought would be directed at you.

Having no other choice you slowly turn around, hoping to god the darkness of the room would be enough to hide your current state.

You kept your head down, letting your hair fall over your face, but gave a proper salute. Hiding the Wince that came when the tender flesh of your wrist had to bend.

Your eyes were trained on the floor. And you tried to remember how to breathe normally again.

"At least you remember how to-" abruptly his harsh scolding stopped.

Why did he stop?! Fuck did he notice something. No no calm down, he probably just is coming up with another punishment...right?

Wrong...

Levi was far from being done with dicisplining you but he caught sight of your bruised wrist and furrowed his brows immediately. He knew for a fact the last time you spoke in the hall those had not been there. He was quick to take in the rest of your demeanor and knew immediately that the reason you were acting disrespectful was because something was wrong.

"Cadet y/n.." he said suspiciously slow and not full of anger anymore.

"Y-yes?" Please dont ask me, please dont ask me, please dont-

"Look at me"

*******************************

Part 2 here

Okay so that's part 1! Please comment and lemme know what you think🥰also I'm super sensitive so please no hateful comments. Thanks for reading!

[0097linersb]

Pink Lemonade

CHAPTER 1

Pairings: Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan x Jeno x Mark x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Humor (I guess), Slow burn af

Summary: The dreamies decide to spend some weeks at an Inn in the middle of the nature to relax and enjoy some outdoor adventures, far away from their crazy idol life. What they didn’t expect was the nice girl running said Inn.

Word count: 3k

You should read the intro first so this story makes sense <3

☼  previous / next  ☼

A/N: Honestly guys this fic will probably be long and detaild af ‘cause I’m using it as a distraction from real life lol guess who just finished their engagement. If u would like it to be more straightforward and go right to the fun parts let me know, I’d really like some opinions! Also, it’s like 2 AM so I’ll proofread it tomorrow 

As you woke up the next day, you were not shocked to find that the boys were not up yet. Last night you were surprised to come downstairs to an already fully cleaned kitchen and as much as it made you embarrassed, it also made you immensely grateful. You thanked them and told them to stop being so nice and doing your job for you, to which Mark only responded that seven guys could be really messy sometimes.

You had given them the folders that informed all the activities the Inn (well, you) offered and the ones they could book in the city a few minutes away, it made you smile at how excited they got reading the paper and planning their days. Haechan was already asking if they could go stargazing that same night but the rest of them groaned saying they were way too tired to move after the long trip (and you felt bad once again for having them clean the kitchen).

Everyone eventually agreed on a time for breakfast and you were just sure they wouldn’t wake up that early by the dark circles under their eyes and, turns out you were right. They did go to sleep pretty early the other night, showering after the meal you had and just going straight to bed.

You lazily stretched as you left your room with Koda and Kenai tracing after you, to find a very much awake Jaemin sitting on the living room’s couch holding a cup.

“Good morning, did you make coffee?” You yawned at the boy, scolding Koda so he would get off the couch.

“Good morning. Yeah, sorry for taking the liberty, I really needed to wake up,” He smiled at you, petting your disobedient dog with his free hand so he could get distracted from the way your shirt had ridden up. Damn morning horniness.

“It’s ok, smells good. Are the rest of the boys awake?”

“Nop, and probably won’t be for a while. I know we agreed on going to the lake at 8 but everyone’s dead, I can wake them up if-“

“No, it’s ok,” You laughed. “I imagined this would happen, not a fan of waking up early myself.”

“Oh, you can go back to sleep if you want, I can knock when everyone starts waking up.”

“Don’t worry. You just really made me want some coffee.”

“I left it downstairs, I can go get you a cup.”

“Jaemin, we’re playing opposites here, don’t make me feel useless,” You joked, already making your way to the stairs, missing how the man stared at your legs in your little pajama shorts. “Plus, I need to take the boys on a walk before they become too fidgety.”

“Can I come with?”

“Of course.”

Jaemin was quick to stand up and follow you downstairs, where you quickly poured yourself a cup of coffee and opened the door, the dogs running past you excitedly. You silently lead the way out of your property and into the unpaved road, warming your hands with the coffee mug – The days were hot but the nights and early mornings could be quite chilly, especially with all the trees surrounding you and blocking the sunshine from reaching you.

“Do they sleep with you?” Jaemin asked, pointing at the dogs who were sniffing around the bushes on the side of the road, like they didn’t do this same route every day.

“Sometimes, they often prefer to stay outside, lots of animals to chase when I’m not there to scream at them.”

“They don’t wear leashes?”

“No need to, there’s barely people here and they are really well-behaved. I trained them well, Koda just gets a little bold when we have new guests over,” You smiled, remembering not even 5 minutes ago said dog was trying to get on Jaemin’s lap on the couch. “Do you like tangerines?”

The boy looked at you confused but nodded.

“Wait a second,” You asked before leaving him, walking off the road and into the trees. After a minute or so, you were back, throwing one of the orange fruits at Jaemin. “I steal them from the neighbors sometimes.”

“Will we get in trouble?” He asked but was already peeling the tangerine with his hands.

“Nah, they are never here. These would just rot.”

“Seems only fair then.”

You walked for another few minutes in silence, eating happily as you appreciated the sound of your feet crushing the small rocks on the floor.

“Ok, tangerines do not go well with coffee,” You make a face after eating half of your fruit, only now stopping to pay attention to the actual taste in your mouth.

Jaemin laughs at you before putting his last slice into his mouth, “Cute.”

“There’s nothing cute about this flavor.”

“Didn’t bother me,” He shrugged, smiling down at you.

Damn that boy was too attractive for his own good. You meant, all of them were.

It was just unfair, really.

The two of you talked a bit more until you hit the end of the road and then made your way back, it was a light-hearted comfortable conversation and you liked the way it made you feel warm inside. You learnt that Jaemin likes to photograph stuff and you asked him to take lots of pictures during their stay so you could use them on the Inn’s social media, telling him you shared that hobby with him. You then started a discussion about digital vs. film photography, in which you two clearly didn’t agree on, but it kept you entertained for a long time.

“Listen, technology evolved to this point to make life comfortable and easier for a reason!” Jaemin whined as you two were entering your property once again. “Is there something worse than developing your pictures only to find out your film was ruined?”

“That’s the thrill of it!” You exasperated.

“I call that heartbreak.”

“It’s a raw form of art for the strong hearted,” You sigh dramatically, opening the door for the man.

After your half an hour walk, as you got back home, only Renjun was up, pouring himself some coffee and looking super sleepy.

“Good morning, slept well?” You asked as Jaemin made his way to sit down on the table after getting Renjun to pour him some more coffee.

“Yeah, this is the first time I dreamt in months,” He smiled at you but his eyes were still half closed. Like you, Renjun was still in his pajamas, light sweatpants and a wrinkled white t-shirt.

“Do you guys want to eat something before breakfast?” You asked, not knowing how long they would have to wait for the others.

“It’s ok,” Jaemin answered.

“If you change your mind just let me know,” You smiled, wondering on what to do now, since you had already prepared the food for today last night and didn’t have any other chores until everyone was up so you could make their beds.

You figured the boys would drink their coffees and go talk or lay down in the hammocks, maybe even try to nap a bit but you were proven wrong when Renjun pointed at the end of the table suddenly excited, “Are those cards?”

“Yeah.”

“Can we play?”

“Of course.”

The man was quick to pick up the little box and sit down across the table from Jaemin, who tapped the place next to him before you had the chance to leave. You happily took on the offer, content with finally spending some fun time with people your age. No, scratch that: Attractive men your age.

“Let’s play Rummy!” Renjun suggested, the sleepiness leaving his body at the simple thought.

“I have no idea how to play that,” You informed.

“It’s ok, I’ll teach you. Come closer,” Jaemin smiled at you and you obeyed, heart beating fast at your thighs suddenly touching. What were you? 12?

The game was way too complicated for your morning brain to understand so you basically just watched the boys play, giving your input here and there.

“Jaemin, here!” You excitedly pointed at one of the cards he was holding.

“Oh, I had missed that, smart girl,” He smiled at you, patting your thigh as a thank you or maybe a praise, making your heart almost leave your body through your mouth. 

Freaking pet names dude.

After an hour or so playing, Jeno and Haechan appeared already fully clothed and awake. The second boy gave you and Jaemin a weird look, noticing how the boy’s right hand was just casually resting on your thigh. At some point it just happened and it felt comfortable (if you ignored your blood pumping through your body twice the normal speed, of course), it had been months since you had flirted with someone and you were enjoying the touch fully, thoughts of being professional nowhere to be found.

You greeted the boys and they sat down too, informing Mark and Chenle would be down in a second and Jisung would just skip breakfast to sleep. You decided then to get up and leave them to chat as you went into the pantry to organize the food you had prepared yesterday, into the baskets.

“Dude,” Haechan whispered to Jaemin.

Just by looking at the boy, Jaemin already knew what he wanted to comment on so he just, “Don’t.”

“Game on, bro.”

“What? This is not a game, we were just-“

“I said game on, bro.”

Jaemin sighed and gave up, knowing Haechan was just joking and being annoying as usual.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After all the men (minus Jisung) were downstairs and ready to go, you guided them down to the lake, setting up one of those cliché plaid towels for everyone to sit on. As you and Mark organized the foods around, you smiled at the others running around the grass and taking pictures, impressed at the view. The lake really was pretty and your property had a privileged clearing to sit down and enjoy it.  

“I would love to say they are normally not this energetic,” Mark smiled at you, placing the bowl with the grapes and strawberries down. “But I’d be lying.”

“It’s refreshing, I rarely deal with people my age around here. We didn’t add bingo to the activities’ folder for no reason.”

“There are no clubs or bars around here?”

“The biggest city around has barely 2.000 habitants so I’ll say no to that. Although this region is becoming really famous for the ecotourism these days, they opened a nice pub for the tourists like last month but there’s only ever people during the weekends.”

“Well, if you ever go to Seoul, let me take you out,” Mark offered before realizing what he had said and stiffening, cheeks going red like the watermelon juice in your hands. “I mean, like, to show you the places and-“

“That sounds fun,” You smiled at him, deciding to end his misery right from the start. He was cute. “Boys, the food is ready.”

Jeno excitedly dropped Haechan down (who he was holding for a picture) and ran over, leaving a very whiny boy on the floor. Jaemin took a picture of that and soon enough, everyone was sitting down on the picnic clot.

“Wow, it looks like we’re in a movie,” Renjun awed, looking around.

It really did, that’s why you liked bringing the guests to this spot on their first day. After everything was set, the scenery resembled a Renaissance painting and you loved it. It was a bit hotter than normally since it was a few hours later then the time the guests usually have breakfast, but the gentle breeze of the wind was enough to not make it unbearable.  

The meal was fun, the boys made you feel so comfortable that it felt like you have known each other for a longer time than the actual truth. You all chatted, joked around and posed for pictures with the food. You had brought your analog camera just to tease Jaemin, asking him to take a picture with it for you.

“How do you want it?” The boy groaned, pretending to be annoyed.

“Here, I have an idea,” Haechan shared, excitedly, holding up one of the strawberries from the bowl in front of your face. “Bite it on the side.”

You accepted the advice confused, not understanding where he was trying to go with it but excited, you loved a good old-fashioned improvised picture. Jaemin pointed the camera at you and counted to three, and you smiled around the strawberry when on the count of one, Haechan bit on the other side of the strawberry and looked at you cross-eyed. After you saw the flash of the camera going off, you decided to take a big bite of the strawberry to play around with Haechan but apparently the boy had the same idea and your lips ended up touching, slightly. Since when has your life become a cliché teenage movie? 

You quickly took the stem of the fruit from between your mouths, pulling away from the boy to tease him, “Damn. Didn’t even buy me dinner first.”

The others joined in on teasing Haechan but the man simply winked at you, “Would be my pleasure.”

You didn’t even have time to giggle before the other men pretended to puke and Renjun legit slapped Haechan.

                                       _____________________________________________

The boys decided to not do any activities that day because Jisung would simply not wake up and after a while waiting, Chenle decided to join him on the hibernation. It made you feel sad for them, that their days were so busy and tiring that at the first sight of some time off, they would sleep for hours and hours to make up for it.

The rest of you decided to play some volleyball in the parking lot (which  was not the best idea considering it was noon). As expected by the almost 40 degrees climate, one by one, every single boy started taking off their shirts, body dripping and glistening with sweat and you just felt in heaven. This could just not be real, you even looked around for cameras, scenes like that just didn’t happen in real life. One hot shirtless guy was the acceptable quota for normality.

But also, you didn’t miss the way they looked at you in your little shorts and top (equal rights after all). It made you feel powerful even though you knew it was just their hormones talking, yours were screaming too after all. If it was already like that on their second day here, you couldn’t imagine how you would survive for the next few weeks, you just wanted to cry every time Jeno (who was on your team) approached you to celebrate when either of you scored, high-fiving you with his huge arms (you would die a happy woman if you were choked by them).

After the game was over, the boys decided to go swim on the lake to cool off and you figured it would be a good time to shower and organize their beds, which you quickly did before starting to make some lunch for everyone. The youngest ones of the group didn’t even wake up to eat so you decided to leave them some food in the microwave in case they got hungry in the afternoon.

Unfortunately the Wi-Fi was being annoying as usual and refused to work, so you couldn’t even google about the boys yet, the curiosity was almost killing you. Maybe it was better like that, right now you were just seeing them as 7 young men living their normal lives and you liked it, it kept you from being nervous at the fact they were probably some big stars that had the world at their feet – They all just seemed so chill sprawled around the living room floor playing the bingo you had joked about earlier, it was hard to believe they probably had hoards of screaming girls around them daily.

They thanked you for cleaning their rooms and told you that you didn’t have to, which technically you did, considering it was literally your job and the whole reason you were there.

You could be wrong, considering you have known them for barely 2 days, but you quickly noticed some little things about them: Like how Jaemin liked to touch you, even if it was just a light brush of his hand on your arm (in his defense, he was touchy with everyone, but when he touched you, it just lingered for a bit longer), or how Haechan liked to playfully flirt with you, that boy just had no shame and you admired him for that. You saw how Renjun often stared at you but when you looked at him, he looked away (which could mean either he was shy or he just didn’t like you very much), but at least he was more subtle about it, as opposite to Mark, who became a blushing mess every time you caught his eyes (and you just wanted to squeeze him). You realized Jeno was a manlier guy, you hadn’t gotten what his deal was yet but you loved the way his eyes disappeared when he smiled and that was enough for you.

It was funny, really, how everyone decided to ignore the tension in the air and go on with the day normally – You did only meet the day before after all.

After getting bored with bingo, the boys told you they planned on going water skiing tomorrow and you agreed happily, telling them you could have a little barbecue party in the camping next to the docks where your parents kept the Inn’s water sports gears, which got them even more excited.

“Can we go camping too?” Jeno asked, receiving a groan from Haechan. Classic city boy.

“Like at night?” You asked and Jeno nodded. “Yeah, actually the stars here are crazy pretty since there’s no light pollution.”

“See?” The boy told Haechan excitedly, who only sighed, accepting his fate.

Barbecue, bonfire, alcohol and a beautiful sky: You were a city girl too but you were also a sucker for a good camping night.

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