#but honestly I don’t really have time to have another dish that broke the camel’s back crisis

[shatterthefragments]

Fuck. The biggest highs always have the hardest comedowns. This isn’t fucking worth it. Except it is. It has to be.

[beautifully-tuan]

for my dream - 2

Mark Tuan x Reader arranged marriage!au , angst, eventual fluff word count: 1920

Masterlist ; Part 1

As soon as Mark gave his agreement, you were named CEO of your father’s company. It should have been the happiest day of your life, since you’ve always wanted this position, but you didn’t want it like this. Yet, as much as you hated this situation, you couldn’t say no, because it was the only way to save the company. If only your stupid brother hadn’t let his stupid girlfriend pry into the family business... She wouldn’t have scammed your father and Mark’s family, leaving the empire they’ve built to the critical state it’s in now. And, cherry on top, your father had initially planned to name your brother as the CEO. You opposed to his decision, reminding him that this whole mess was because of your brother himself. Things could only get worse if you let him step over. You couldn’t let the already declining business fall into such incompetent hands. With the energy of despair, you told your father you were qualified enough to take the lead, to which your father couldn’t argue. Everything you’ve ever done revolved around this company. Your brother was less than incompetent, and you were more than qualified.

And then the marriage deal came up. You knew it would lead to something like that, considering how complex the structure of the company is. The official account, which includes all the company’s acts and budget, is registered in Mark’s family’s name. It’s always been that way: your family deals with management and negotiations, while Mark’s family takes care of everything financial and investments related. Your and Mark’s father being CEO and co-CEO since the company was founded, that’s never been a problem. But due to recent events, and with the need of a new CEO, the latter should be able to run both sides of the company. If your brother had gotten this position, it would’ve been easy to convince the bank for a transfer of account. It’s always been highly considered for a man to run a company. However, you are a woman, and that makes it way more difficult. Nobody would take you seriously and your decisions on the use of the company’s funds would be limited, and that would only make everything worse. The only way to avoid such a disaster is to merge both families into one, so you can have legal access to the account no matter what. That’s why there’s no other alternative for you than to marry Mark. Your father made it clear to you that it was the only condition. You wanted to refuse, God knows you wanted to. But again, you couldn’t. Although you could feel your heart break inside your chest, you agreed.

As selfish as that was, you secretly hoped Mark would say no. If waiting for his response felt like agony, you considered yourself dead when he said yes. Without further awaiting, you took over the company and immediately started to clean after your brother’s mess, while preparing the wedding at the same time. Everyone said you weren’t obligated to help with the preparations, but you did it anyway, and it was honestly a living hell. You didn’t know what you were expecting from Mark in the first place, but he didn’t even try to be a little bit supportive. He despised you, it was written all over his face, and you could understand why. Although you could’ve put up a fight with him for acting as if he was the only one suffering from this situation, you felt too bad for him, so you let him be.

Mark acts no different during the wedding ceremony and reception a few weeks later. He makes a little effort to put on a make-believe happiness in public, and you’re thankful for that, but he’s still dripping with resent and sadness. It’s only normal after all, he doesn’t gain much from this arrangement compared to everything he loses. You both try to put on a good show for all the important personalities attending your wedding, then you head back to your house immediately after it’s finished. You and Mark decided to live in a rather big house, with two bedrooms. Of course, you decided to sleep in separate beds. Actually, to make everything easier for both of you, you separated everything, like roommates would. You would have your own life, and he would have his. He could continue with his job, and you would take care of the company, that’s it. The only requirement between the two of you was to, at least, pretend to be happily married when you were in public.

These rules established, you thought your life would go on as normal, the only difference being your new position and responsibilities in the company. What you didn’t expect was for Mark to still take care of you. Not as a husband, of course, but in subtle ways that you can’t ignore. When he makes dinner, he makes sure to leave some for you to eat when you get home after work. When he goes grocery shopping, he buys stuff for both of you. When you’re not around, he does some cleaning. It’s not rare that he texts you to ask at what time you’re getting home so he can make his plans without bothering you. It’s crazy to you how someone can be mad at you and still take care of you like this, even though he has no obligations towards you. You really wish you could repay him, but there’s not much you can do since you’re at work most of the time and only come home super late at night. You offer to take turns washing the dishes, to which he agrees, but he ends up doing most of it anyways because of your tight schedule. Despite not having the highest opinion of you, he still does all those things because that’s just how good of a person he is.

As incredible as it seems – and as much as you hate to admit it – you’ve grown attached to Mark. Although he barely ever talks to you, you appreciate his little actions a bit more than you should. You even finding yourself daydreaming about what you and Mark would be like together in another life... But daydreams are all about it. You can’t let these feelings take over, because he obviously doesn’t feel the same way. Quite frankly, it might even be the opposite. He seems to have gotten over himself, but still despises you and wishes you hadn’t ruined his life, and that is enough for you to keep your feelings a secret. You’ve mastered the art of repressing your emotions, ever since you were a child, to maintain a certain image. Everyone around you says that bottling things inside is not healthy for you, but you don’t care. With all of your responsibilities, you don’t need to deal with your conflicted emotions on top of that. So you live your life like this for the following months, being as strong as you can. That is until, one night, you inevitably break.

For a woman your age, being a CEO is a lot of pressure. You are in a rowboat barely floating in the middle of the sea, and financial partners and stakeholders are sharks trying to capsize it. They’re constantly pressuring you, aiming for your breaking point, trying to make you bend before them so they can steal your power. Your daily life is composed of disguised threats and improper remarks, added to tons and tons of work and the tiredness that comes with them, and the sadness of coming home to an empty house, without anyone to talk to. Today was just the straw that broke the camel. A representant of your company’s number one competitor came in to talk to you. The lady, like everyone else, was sent to pressure you. You handled the situation perfectly, as usual, until she said:

- “Well... Where’s your husband? I believe he also has some latitude in this company, right. How come we never see him around?”

Normally, you wouldn’t care. But, with the way she said it, you started to worry. She was clearly implying that she – and probably many other people – are fully aware that your marriage is fake, and that they’re going to use that to their advantage.

That thought is still on your mind when you step into your house, exhausted. You slip out of your shoes and jacket, throw your bag onto the table and slump down on the sofa, not even bothering to turn on the lights. How long can you keep up like this? How can you stop them from using your marriage, the only thing you have no control on, against you? And who are you even going to tell all of this? It’s not like you have a lot of friends, and you don’t want to seem weak to the eyes of your family, since you’re the one who fought so hard to get here. But is this really what you wanted? Will you ever be able to keep your promise and save this company? Your insecurities hit you so hard that you break into tears. You let go of months of pent up frustration and sadness, so overwhelmed by your emotions and crying so much that you don’t even hear the front door opening and the lights being turned on.

Mark finds you there, crying your heart out and struggling to breathe. He immediately pours some water into a glass and brings it to you, but you don’t even notice it.

- “Hey, hey, Y/N look at me” he says, trying catch your attention.

His voices rings inside your ears and you try to look up, barely processing what’s happening.

- “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Talk to me.”

His genuinely worried tone makes you feel so safe that, without thinking twice, you immediately start talking. You tell him absolutely everything. Mark listens to you, holds your hand, brings you more water when your glass is empty. He’s so kind and understanding that it takes everything in you not to tell him about your growing feelings for him. After you’re finished, he gives you some great advice and demands that you never keep your problems to yourself like that again.

Since that night, every time you come home, Mark starts asking questions. He asks how you’re doing and how your day has been, asks you to talk about your problems and what you’re planning to do about them. That’s how you and Mark, after seven months of being married, became friends. Mark is determined to make you feel less lonely. He even starts getting himself involved in your work, even if it’s just a tiny little bit. He often passes by your workplace and brings you lunch, making sure he arrives at the exact time you’re having meetings with all those annoying people, just to show them that he’s there and that you’re not alone. If you used to appreciate Mark’s efforts, you’ve come to appreciate his very presence. You cherish the moments you spend with him, even the smallest ones, from small talks around the living room to movie nights on weekends. Your new relationship with your husband makes you feel uncertain. You can’t really tell if it makes things easier or harder for you, because the only thing you’re certain of right now is that you’ve fallen in love with him.

Part 3

a/n: hiii and thanks for reading the second chapter to this series. what do you think of this new chapter? it was tough to write tbh, especially trying to explain the reason behind the arranged marriage. I tried to make it as realistic as possible though. I really REALLY hope you’re enjoying the story so far. Happy holidays and love you all. 💖

[whistlewhileiblogit]

Is Sadie Adler...too capable?

(Okay just wanna say if I have any details wrong please correct me as I am doing this all by memory! Also long post warning)

So, I have seen a lot of complaints regarding Sadie Adler's characterisation. Mainly, a lot of people have made the argument that she is a bad character (some claiming her to be one of the worst written in RDR2), because she is "too badass" "invincible", and essentially...without saying it...a mary-sue of some sort.

A lot of people have complained that Sadie is essentially indestructible as a character, and it is unrealistic that a woman who had never been a gunslinger, could magically become one in such a relatively short time.

Now, in some ways, I can see a point. But allow me to explain my thoughts, and the ways I took Sadie's personality and character through my initial playthrough of the game.

Now it's no secret that I adore Sadie. So you could argue I'm biased, but hear me out.

We meet Sadie early on in the game, where she's lost EVERYTHING. Her home, her possessions...her Jakey. The man she was in love with. Her husband and best friend.

Now we don't know much about Jake, though it is implied he is probably the only man who treated her as an equal (before Arthur, at least). Why do I say this? Because of the way we see Sadie behave when she is with the gang, initially.

She spends the first few chapters simply staying around camp. Most of the time she is either sitting solemnly alone in mourning, or working (and most likely arguing with Pearson). She is pretty much constantly in a bad mood, and makes it known to everyone in camp. But could you blame her? Again, her entire life had been destroyed.

So when Arthur has his first mission with her, he automatically assumes her not wanting to work with Pearson means she's lazy. She quickly shuts him down and explains how she and Jake used to share the work. She was as used to hunting as she was washing dishes. So already we know she should at least be able to use a gun decently. Whoa look at that! Rockstar sowing some seeds!

When they're at Rhodes, we see Sadie do the first thing she has had a choice in doing: she buys herself new clothes. This may sound stuoid, but remember, the dress she had previously wearing wasn't hers. It was most likely leant to her by Mary-Beth or another woman in the camp. Sadie then makes it clear to the shopkeeper she doesn't need help putting her supplies in the back of the wagon.

I've seen people be offended by her behaviour in this scene alone. "she was being a bitch to the shopkeeper for no reason! He's just doing his job!" and- as someone who works in retail- believe me, I get that argument...sorta. I understand it to an extent, but we have to remember; Sadie is living in a time where women were second class citizens. It makes perfect sense that she'd be passive-aggressive automatically. She constantly has to prove herself when everyone assumes she is simply a helpless woman.

Now in this very same mission we learn just how trigger-itchy Sadie is. And she follows down this path practically the entire game. She has bloodlust, specifically for any and all O' Driscolls. And for good reason (I also wanna mention the implication that she mauly have been sexually assaulted by one or more of them but won't get into that).

We see Sadie pour everything she has- literal blood, sweat and tears, into trying to avenge Jake. And a lot of people- ahem- a lot of men have had a big problem with her behaviour. But the thing is, if she had been a male, losing his temper and going on killing sprees over the death of his wife, his character would be praised. There are countless lists of male protaganists in games who have the tragic backstory involving a murdered wife and/or child. How many male protaganists are there that act exactly the same way as Sadie, for the same damn reasons, and aren't criticised for it?

Now I hate making this a sexism debate, I really do. But honestly, most of the criticisms I see of Sadie's characterization are just that; sexist.

Personally, I have to admit I am a sucker for the trope of the hardened character with a heart of gold (Joel from TLoU, Bruce Wayne, Arthur freakin' Morgan, Sadie Adler, etc), despite the connotations it has. I know it is an overused trope to use a protags fambam as the driving force of the plot, but in all honesty? It's done because it is something everyone can relate to. If you had a loved one or child murdered, you're telling me it wouldn't fundamentally break you as a person, even a little? You wouldn't want revenge?

When you think of it this way, of course Sadie's actions make sense! Watching Colm O'Driscoll himself die wasn't enough for her. Hell, even when Arthur and Sadie hunt down the remaining O'Driscolls, even after brutally killing the last big feller- Sadie sits down and has her moment of reflection. And it is clear, that even though it's finally all over- it still isn't for her. It's clear that she believed so strongly (or wanted to believe) that if all the O'Driscolls were gone, she could finally be at peace. And in this moment, she realises just how wrong she was.

Sadie recognises she is too far gone by this point, and even years later when she meets John in the prologue, she reiterates as much. I personally believe she might have been abke to heal even slightly had Arthur not died. I really think that in a way was the straw that broke the camels back. She talks to John about how she spends most of her time alone because she finds it hard just being around other people. She doesn't know how to act anymore. She is self-aware enough to realise she is a "broken" person.

Sadie is an amazingly written, tragic character. I suppose one could argue she was too good of a shot, though I don't see why she couldn't have been considering she knew how to hunt. Not to mention rage and heartbreak does things to a person. I am sure there are probably plenty of fair arguments against her- though the ones I have seen simply have been plain and rooted in sexism.

I just really want people to think about if Sadie had been a male. I can almost guarantee there wouldn't be nearly as much backlash as Sadie has received.

Also, I have read many complaints about her voice and y'all are entitled to your opinion but I think her raspy voice is sexy as fuck sue me.