#but highschool soph year was a good time with her

[theloveinc]

if u were the gnc butch girl I cuddled in highschool… come back to me

[girlofmanyfandoms]

Advocates

A/n: So, I feel bad for not posting lately, here’s my AU where I take a slightly different take on the Keeper of the Lost Cities series. A few changes that I’m trying to make: more friendship-based, no love triangle, probably more gay, more racially diverse cast (without any harmful stereotypes). I’ll try to stay true to each character’s personality!

I’ll also take this time to say there’s stuff I haven’t released yet, so tell me if you want me to release those!

Disclaimer: This is in no way hating on Shannon’s series, I just wanna see where the story would go if we took a slightly different approach!

Warnings: I didn’t edit this at all-

Word count: 2868

Tag list:  @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @bookwyrminspiration @holesinmyfalseconfidence @percabetn @an-absolute-travesty @linhammon-roll-bromance101 @linhamon-roll @holesinmyfalseconfidence @linhamon2 @a-lonely-tatertot @loverofallthingssmart

Let me know if you want to be added or if I forgot to tag you!

“Uh, no boys, she’s sitting with me.”

Jensi raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with her sitting here, Marella?”

“Nothing! I just need to pull her to the side for some girl talk.” Marella pulled Sophie’s sleeve, navigating across the cafeteria to an empty booth in the corner. Sitting down and adjusting herself, she extended a hand. “Marella Redek. No nicknames. I know the ins and outs of everything around here.”

“Sophie Foster,” Sophie introduced, shaking her hand, though her response came out as a murmur. She brushed her hair out of her face, trying to shrink as small as possible. “But I’m sure you knew that.”

Marella nodded. “You must’ve caused the Council a lot of trouble if you’ve gotten your way into Level Two right after being with humans. What was it like, by the way?”

“Pretty normal, I guess. Well, not for me, I was a highschool senior at 12, and my parents wanted me to attend community college instead of an Ivy League. Even the newspapers were talking about it, and that ticked my parents off big time.”

“What?”

“I know, crazy, right?” Sophie started digging into her lunch. “Why would the news choose a story about a child over actual breaking news?”

“No, I meant those words you used. A high school, college, a new paper? What do they mean?”

“Oh, that’s right! Those are more human terms, sorry,” Sophie apologized. “There are levels of human school: Preschool, which is usually ages 1 to 4, elementary school is from ages 5 to 10, middle school is ages 11 to 13, high school is ages 14 to 17, and college is at least four years, and gives you the certification you need to get a good paying job. Newspapers are just mini books made completely of paper that tell you what’s going on in the world.”

“Oh,” Marella said, looking off into the distance. “I guess I never really thought that human school would be so different from Foxfire. We just have these levels, and then the elite levels. What was your human family like?”

Sophie tugged out an eyelash, which didn’t go unnoticed on Marella’s end. “U-um-“

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be pushing you so much on your first day. I should be helping you adjust.” She toyed with her food. “So, how’s our world been for you so far?”

“A little overwhelming,” Sophie admitted. “I don’t feel half as glamorous as anything around me. We don’t exactly have crystal houses and fancy ball gowns in San Diego.”

“You don’t?” Marella shook her head vigorously. “Right. Sorry. Let’s get back on track. Anything you think you’ll need to know that I can help you with?”

Sophie clutched her knees, now rolled up into a ball. This Marella girl was a bit intense at first, but maybe she wasn’t so bad. After all, she had saved her from sitting with some yes-boys. The declared leader of them seemed friendly, but a little too hyper. No, she decided, Marella wasn’t half bad. “I don’t know. Anything really, you know best.”

“Alright, then. This place is sort of a maze, try to find someone with a similar schedule to you so you can walk together until you know your way around. You know Stina Heks?”

Sophie shivered and nodded, thinking back to seeing her raging through the halls screaming about someone making her bald. She could’ve sworn she heard her say “Disney,” too.

“Stay away from her. Stereotypical bully, not afraid of fighting dirty. The Vackers, Keefe Sencen, and their little bubble are all the buzz. They’re pretty nice, and Sencen’s a bit of a flirt, but if you don’t like attention, maybe steer clear from them.”

Sophie let out a bitter laugh. “Easier said than done. The Vackers are the ones who found me. Fitz brought me here, Alden sent him out to find me, and Della helped me get ready for Foxfire.” Sophie paused to pull out another eyelash. “I don’t think Biana likes me much.

Marella’s eyes widened in shock as she leaned back and blew out a breath.

“Is that bad?” Sophie was panicking a bit now. What had she screwed up now?

“Well, it’s not good for your social status, that’s for sure.” Marella started slicing her food, which resembled Jello. “If you’re on her bad side, you’ll want to stay away from Maruca, too. They’re best friends.”

“Great,” Sophie sighed. One day in and she already had a long list of people to avoid. “Anything else I should know about?”

“Oh, yeah, but I’ll stick to school stuff. Your most difficult subjects are gonna be Elementalism and Alchemy.”

“I can help with that,” a boy called, sliding next to Sophie in the booth and placing his tray down. “Dex Dizznee, by the way.”

“Sophie Foster.” She grinned a bit. Edaline had gone without her to the apothecary and mentioned the “Disneys.” This must’ve been who Stina was shouting at. “I saw what you did to Stina earlier. Wicked move.”

“Finally, someone understands the genius! She deserved it, too, after what a pain she was last year. That’s where the alchemy comes in handy.”

Marella rolled her eyes, and Dex leaned back casually. “Don’t act like you don’t think she deserved it Marella. You know she did.”

“Ok, it was kind of satisfying seeing her run around like that-“

“Yes!”

“-but don’t take it as a sign that I’ll join in. I have a reputation to protect.”

Dex snorted. “Yeah, as the gossip girl.”

“I don’t gossip, I have connections,” she corrected.

“Whatever you say madam,” Dex relented jokingly. “What about you, Soph? Got anything you could build a reputation for?”

“Not really,” she expressed. “I don’t want the spotlight. I just want to make it by here.”

Marella took a bite of her lunch and scoffed. “Good luck with that.”

“Tell you what, my next class is Multispecesial Studies, I can walk you to Alchemy,” Dex offered.

“Really? That would be great, thank you!”

“No problem. It’s hard making it by for people like us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Marella chugged down her lushberry juice.

“We’re different, special.”

“So, outcasts?” Sophie rested her head in her hand and stirred her drink nonchalantly, taking in the view of the cafeteria. It was remarkably pristine and clean, its white walls with blue accents not showing a hint of grime. With the barstools at tables all around the center and the booths to the side, it looked like every diner’s dream.

“No, not outcasts. Think more sideline supporters.”

“So, advocates,” Sophie helped. “I don’t really see that, but maybe one day. Right now I just want to pass.”

“Well you can’t do that on an empty stomach,” Marella chided playfully. “Eat up. Lady Galvin is a stickler for accuracy.”

————

Fantastic. Sophie had only been there one day and she had already ruined her Alchemy teacher’s favorite cloak. Marella was right, Alchemy was tough. She’d have to take Dex up on his offer. She wandered through the halls, trying to find the way to her next class, P.E. She strolled like this for a few more minutes before a snobby voice called to her from down the hall.

“Lost, new kid?”

Sophie winced. Great. The number one person on her People To Avoid list had already found a way into her world. She attempted to speed walk, but the clacking of leveled boots followed quickly, and she was spun around with a harsh push.

Stina laughed, and for a 12 year old elven child, it sounded quite maniacal. “Why so frightened? I don’t bite. Much.”

Somehow Sophie sincerely doubted that. There had to be some fangs behind that evil smirk. But maybe she could play it cool with this demon in disguise.

“I’m not frightened, just lost. Do you think you could point me to P.E.? I don’t want to be late on my first day.” Sophie held her breath, hoping she came off as casual.

“My pleasure,” Stina grinned a sickeningly sweet smile. “In fact, I’ll walk you there. Wouldn’t want our newest prodigy to miss class because of some weak instructions, now would we?”

“No, of course not.”

Stina linked their arms, acting as if they were old pals going on a walk in the park to catch up. It was silent except for the shuffling of their shoes, so Sophie made sure she was hyper aware of her surroundings, trying to memorize the numbers on each locker and how they connected to the twisting, winding paths of the school.

At this point, she was sure Stina planned to do something crazy to her, like stuff her in a locker or hide her body, so she had to think fast. Luckily, this was her specialty.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry,” Sophie began, stopping abruptly. Stina stumbled a bit, but regained her composure in seconds. “I forgot something at my locker! Oh, I’m so sorry, but Edaline told me I’d need what was in my locker. You go ahead, I shouldn’t keep you from your class! Don’t worry, I’ll find my way to Phys Ed.”

Sophie speed walked away, leaving Stina in the dust. Once she rounded the corner, she took off, speeding through corridors and halls until she ran out of breath. Giving up, she rested her head against the wall, trying to clear her head when she was forced to her feet and slammed into a locker. There was a click, and through the slits, Sophie could see Stina���s eyes crinkled in smugness and satisfaction. Yet through all of this, the only thing Sophie was thinking of was, That was pretty lame on a scale of bullying-ness.

“Good luck getting out of there, Foster,” she remarked. “Now, you get comfortable, I have some business to attend to.”

“Gonna go sharpen your claws?” Sophie snapped.

“No, newbie, I’m going to put the princess of Everglen in her place. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated!”

And with that, Stina clacked away, her footsteps receding and the silence finding its way to creep back in.

________

Sophie had no way of telling time. This she had learned when she realized she had in fact left something in her locker: her Imparter and the Ruewen crest. She let out an audible groan of frustration, and tried to occupy herself with her temporary home. There were books about unicorn breeding on the shelf above her, to which Sophie wrinkled her nose. Next, there was a box of animal pins, glittering and shiny, and she was very tempted to stuff a few in her pocket, but she restrained herself. She took to examining the pictures on the door with what little light she had and realized, to her disdain, that this was Stina’s locker.

Sophie shivered in disgust and tried patting herself out and getting the Stina vibes off of her.

“Well, if I’m going to be stuck here, I might as well take advantage of it,” she decided. Sophie put all of her energy into memorizing the photo album beside her, and wound up with some lovely photos of baby Stina, along with some other cherished memories. She was scanning through Stina’s diary and chuckling to herself at her inevitable revenge when yelling came from around the corner. Sophie dropped the journal and shuffled forward a bit, peering through the slits. This could be her saving.

“MESS WITH BIANA ONE MORE TIME-” Maruca had her pinned to the wall and looked ready to murder her, but Stina remained unfazed.

“Relax, duchess, you might be the heir soon,” Stina responded coolly.

That was the breaking point. Maruca opened her locker, which was, unfortunately, next to the one Sophie was trapped in, and slammed it shut.

“Maruca!” Sophie yelled, but Stina rattled in her locker, and shouted curses over her, both to insult Maruca and to put an end to Sophie’s escape plan.

Maruca was quick to exit, and soon enough it was just Stina and Sophie, trapped in their lockers, trying to determine the other person’s next move.

“Do you happen to know how to break down locker doors?” Stina commented dryly.

“Would I still be here if I did?”

“Fair.”

“You got a hairpin?” Sophie asked. “Or some thin piece of metal you can slide in between the crack of our lockers? I might be able to break out of mine by picking the lock.”

“And what about me? Gonna leave me here to rot while you run free?” She harrumphed. “I don’t think so. If I’m suffering you suffer with me.”

“I’ll get you out too, just answer the question and slide the metal through the crack.”

Stina huffed, but Sophie heard the sound of metal on metal scratch as something hit her foot. “My family crest. Do not scratch it.”

“You got it.” Sophie used her fingernails to get a little bit of extra room before sliding the crest through the door. She maneuvered it a bit, and the door let out a click as it swung open. Sophie fell forward face first, but sat up and whooped in victory.

Stina cleared her throat. “I’m still here.”

“Oh, I know,” Sophie poked smugly. “But if I’m going to break you outta there, you’re going to owe me a favor.”

“I do NOT-“

“Fine, then stay there. And spend all day, heck, maybe even until tomorrow, stuck in that cramped locker with no food or water whatsoever.” Sophie began to stroll away slowly, biding for time just in case Stina changed her mind about the offer.

“Fine,” she grumbled. “Just get me out.”

Sophie cheered to herself silently and crouched down in front of the locker and got to work. Stina was peering through the slits in the locker, and for a moment they felt each other’s breath on their faces and they met eyes before glaring at each other and backing up a bit. The door swung open, and Stina came crashing down onto Sophie.

Stina pushed herself off of her quickly, seeming very flustered. She reached out a hand to Sophie, which she took. Stina shook Sophie’s hand off of hers.

“I need my family crest,” she said, looking off to the side uncomfortably.

“Oh,” Sophie frowned, unsure why she felt a little disappointed. Probably because my back hurts and I was just refused the little she could have given as thanks, she thought. “Right. Take it.”

Stina’s fingers brushed against Sophie’s as she took it back and pinned it onto her cloak once more. “Well.” Stina lifted her nose upon in the air, regaining her haughty facade. “Until we meet again, Foster.”

“Yeah, Sophie nodded, getting back to her feet. Once Stina was out of earshot, she muttered, “Hopefully that’s never.”

Sophie dusted herself off, finally registering her circumstances. She was late for class, and she looked disheveled. Stina had just walked off, leaving her lost, confused, and just waiting for a punishment of her lifetime. Sighing, she walked along the edges of a pyramid.

“Ms. Foster,” a cold voice crowed from behind her.

Sophie recognized that voice. Dame Alina. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Is there a particular reason that you’re not in class right now?”

“Uh-“

“Incoming!” a boy screamed from the top of his lungs, a bunch of verminions on his tail. Alina shrieked and ran into a neighboring hall for shelter. Sophie took this as an opportunity to find her way out of this maze and escape Alina’s grasp. She followed the boy until they reached the Healing Center, where he hid until the verminions passed by. Sophie stopped. She could go in and ask whatever medic was present for directions, but the thought of going anywhere near a doctor made her sick to the stomach.

“Can I help you, new girl?”

Sophie jumped. The boy she had been following was right in front of her, and she instinctively slunk back.

“Chill, I won’t hurt you. The name’s Keefe, but you can call me-“

“Sorry Keefe, but I’m really late for class, do you know where P.E. Is?”

He furrowed his eyebrows and massaged his neck, looking a bit hurt. “Uh, yeah, take a left after the next three halls.”

“Thank you!” Sophie bolted to class and arrived there out of breath.

“Sophie! Just in time for us to start splotching,” Dex waved her over. “It’s easy, you just use your telekinesis to move this marble into the other person. If you succeed, it bursts and you get a paint splotch on you.”

“Great,” she muttered. “You won’t believe what I’ve just gone through.”

“Tell me at the end of class. We’re gonna need all of our focus for this.”

“Alright,” she sighed. She couldn’t be upset, seeing Dex that excited lifted her mood just a bit. And that was just the boost she needed.

________

This was it. It was down to her and Fitz for the Splotching Champion title. Sophie gathered her concentration. She could not mess this up.

The splotcher was thrown in between them, and Sophie gave it her all. The marble exploded with a loud boom, and they were both thrown into opposite sides of the room. Sophie saw nothing but the green paint, and then darkness.

[sopeyb23-blog]

Coming home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Final

Summary: Spencer deals with the news he has received

Warnings: Anxiety, crying, panic, trauma, self harm, suicide, death (past), injury, stalking, swearing, angst

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC

words: 1.6k 

A/N: The final Part!!!! again this one is pretty dark, but not quite as difficult or long as the last one. I cried yall. 

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 10

Spencer~

I must have sat there in silence for at least five minutes. I kept my hand on her back and tried to keep my own breathing calm. I know it's cliche to say I never thought it would happen to me. But it's true. Even in my line of work, you never think it'll happen to you, until it does. I stared at the dirt beneath my feet and wondered what question to ask first. When I finally lifted my head, hers was down, refusing to meet my face.

“So, Ben?” It wasn't the first on my list, but I knew the story hadn't ended just yet. She only stopped it there because she was too afraid, and I knew that feeling all too well.

“He received an envelope the same as mine two weeks before he killed himself.” My brain switched modes as she spoke. I went from boyfriend to profiler before I could really stop myself. I mean, anyone would in that situation right? It can't just be a coincidence.

“Did you know that-”

“That he was going to kill himself? No. he sent me pictures of his envelope just like I did when we were in highschool. We talked on the phone hours before. I've talked to people on the edge before, I've talked people off the edge before. He wasn't planning it. That i'm sure about.”

I thought back to the first night she stayed at my apartment. Before we moved in together, I think it was after about a month of dating that she slept there for the first time. I remembered how guarded she was at first. How she would always wear something that went at least down to her knees. That first night she put on a sweater of mine and for the first time I saw her scars. Not just on her legs, but on her torso as well. Long intentional, surgical scars. I never asked. 

“Soph, those scars, were they from-” she cut me off again, hearing me say it seemed to be too much for her.

“Some of them are from the surgeries. Some aren't”  the pain in her voice was too much. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. What I would do if I could get my hands on the man that did this-

“Let me find him.”  it came out before I even knew I wanted to say it. 

Sophie~

I finally looked up. 

“What?”

“Let me find the man who did this. Give me the word and I will have the whole team looking for him. Or just me, I don't care about who does it. Let me make sure that he can't take one more thing from you.”

The tears that I had just gotten to stop came back. I knew he would do that. I knew he would do anything to protect me. But to be honest, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. 

“After all the lies that I've told to you? My best friend killed himself because of someone that only wanted to hurt me. How am I any better than he is?” 

My lips trembled when I looked at Spencer. Even in all of the pain that he has been in, all of the emotions I'm sure he felt as I told him my story, he hadn’t cried. Not until now.

Spencer~

I had kept strong for her. As she first saw me, when she first heard me speak, when she told me of all that happened to her. But hearing her blame herself. Her pain was so evident. It broke my heart more than I knew was possible. I took my hand from her back and put it on her cheek so she had no choice but to look at me.

“You listen to me. This was not your fault, do you understand? You did not lie to me, you kept strong to protect me, to protect everyone! There was no way you could have known that after all this man had done to you he was going to hurt someone else! None of this is on you! I love you so, so, so much, and i'm so-” My voice cracked as I cried and trembled. “So sorry that you thought you had to do this alone. So please, please. Let me do this for you.”

She stayed quiet as she sobbed and trembled but finally nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut and I pulled her into me. I would die before letting anything else get to her.

__________

Eventually, after the both of us had laughed and wiped the snot and tears from each other's faces we hobbled back into the house where her sister was waiting.

“So?”

“I promise the both of you, I will find this man.”

She looked back at me and nodded before reaching out to Sophie and pulling her into a hug. 

“Good, it's about time someone did.”

I walked to the couch and pulled my phone from the hospital bag before calling Garcia.

“Boy wonder! You don't text, you don't call! Where have you been!” her voice made me smile, she was always a little light in the darkness.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry, I've been dealing with a lot. Garcia I need you to do something for me,”

“Anything, what do you need?”

“Can you get the rest of the team on the phone?”

“Hah, can I, of course I can! Think who you're talking to. Hold please.” She paused and I heard several other lines connect.

“Alright and here we are, Reid everyones on the line now”

“Thanks Garcia. I need everyone's help.” 

_________

(3 month time jump)

Sophie~

I waited anxiously on the large bed in Spencer and I’s room. My phone sat beside my leg and I nervously checked it every few seconds waiting for the call that could change my life.

Three months ago Spencer called his team and told them my story. He explained to them everything leading from when I was sixteen to the moment Spencer was shot. The team agreed to help the both of us and gathered as much information as they could. About one week ago Spencer got a call from Emily just after we had arrived back home in DC. -

“So?” I paced around our apartment anxiously as he set his phone down on the coffee table.

“They think they found him.” I stopped walking around right as the words came out of his mouth and gulped.

“Do you think-”

“It's him, Sophie. It's him”- And Spencer was right. It was him. They left that night for Maine. I fought and fought, trying to convince all of them, but in the end Spencer convinced me not to. -

“Spence you don’t understand! I have to go!”

“Look at me. I know how much this means to you, I do. You can not come with us. I can’t put you at risk like that!”

“Spencer the last time you were there you were shot! Five goddamn times!” He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed my hand from where he sat on the couch. He pulled me into his lap and looked me right in the eyes.

“I will get him, I promise. I will call you every hour and I will even stay with your sister if it means you don't come. Trust me, I want you with me every moment! But I want you alive more.”-  So, I stayed. He kept his promise to me. He called me every hour and never once did I hear the dreaded dial tone. He stayed with my sister and her husband and kids, and every time he came home, Lu would send me a picture of him with my nieces and nephews. A couple of hours ago he called me, one of his hourly check-ins but the tone of his voice was different. He was trying to hide something from me. -

“Spencer what's going on?”

“Nothing I promise!”

“No, there's definitely something happening! What's going on Spence?”

“We found him.”

“Yeah, I know that, that's why you're in Maine, what do you mean?”

“No, Sophie, we found his house. He’s in custody right now.” My heart stopped for a moment.

“Soph? You there?”

“Im here, i’m here”

“All we need now is a confession. Emily and JJ are working on him right now.” -  He reassured me that he was okay, and said he would call me soon. He texted me at his next check-in saying he was fine but that he needed to work on the confession, that he would call me when they got it, when they were leaving. And just like that my phone rang. I almost fell off of the edge of the bed to grab it, dropping my phone in the process.

“Spence?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me babe”

“So?” My heart rate sped up and I felt light headed

“We got it Soph.” I cried and put a hand on my chest. Years of pain. Years of being paranoid. Years of never seeing my family out of fear that it would hurt them. Years of thinking that my best friend's death was my fault. And just like that, the man who caused all of it. All of my pain and my fear and my panic and my trauma and my scars. Just like that, it's gone.

“Sophie are you still there?”

“yeah, yeah, im here, sorry, it's just-”

“I know, I know. It’s okay now” I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me.

“Sophie, I'm coming home”

With three words he saved me. With three words he made all of my fear for him worth it. He made every second worth it. He made coming home worth it.

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

OTH- One Tree Hill..

#oth I ended who-knows-which rewatch of #OneTreeHill it's almost 3 years since I watched THE WHOLE show for the 1st time. It was here : https://www.instagram.com/p/BbotBatAhTv/ And this is now. I was 14 when I saw it for the first time.a glimpse of it. First 7eps. I was young&lost. But I felt it. I saw intro and I just knew. It was like a miracle. One of these moments when the whole universe stops. One of these moments about which you can tell that is when everything has change. It was special. But the opportunity to watch full show came when I was 18. Why this post? Because I am tired of people who thinks this is just a tvshow for me. I try to explain. I told you so often what I do love about it. So NOW- WHY I LOVE IT? I consider it a cure. I consider it home. And I love it this much because I am not the only one. There is a family of us. This is a family. tv throwback winner. All conventions. All these people. Even actors are surprised. All generations. I was 4,when show started,12,when it ended. Families watch it together. People name their kids after characters. Ispiration& Creativity come from it. When I have time to watch something I choose OTH,cuz there is literally nothing as good as THIS-no tvshow,nor movie. Cast and crew #othwomen so strong and powerful. Why I do love it? Because of what OTH do to people. To people who feel like they have a safe home somewhere,a family,a friend-place where they feel loved and appreciated. People whose life changed thanks to it. I know so many. So many of them I can't wait to meet. So many jerks who became good men. These 2 girls that got engaged thanks to Hil and Soph. All these kids who were lost in highschool,who just wanted their parents to love them and be proud of them-they get through it all-all disappointment&pain with grace&dignity&knowledge that they're worthy. All these people who lost someone who they loved. Or who thought that the world give up on them. This girl who was in dark place and almost ended her life now she is happy, not alone,feels safe. Or this couple who values their love as much as #naley people who knows that what they do matters& that they art matters. People who don't waste their moments and words. Because they know what really matters. Because they know that nobody knows what tomorrow brings. People who know that love means giving chances when there's no more chances to give. This little boy who was afraid to tell his parents that he likes boys more than girls. He is in our family too. That adopted kids to whom someone was teasing about it? Yeah. They are here. These who do believe in magic. In true love. In dreams. These who always do or try to do the right. No matter the costs. These who always follow their hearts. That girl who thoght she is not smart and pretty enough, who was wondering why her parents never really did give her a chance, she is here. People who gave up on life and yet, stayed here with scars, they have peace and hope with OTH. People who will give everything for love and friends. Also here. People who make mistakes and then make everything right. People who won with drugs. Artists. People who cry way too much. Because something is sad. Or beautiful. People who are struggling and need a little hope, a little guidance when they are lost. Siblings who had problems. These who seeks for redemption. these who care too much. People who believe and respect and do not take anything for granted. Singers. Actors. Maths fans. Writers. Readers. Teachers. Sport fans. Mothers and Fathers. People who were in coma. People who almost died. people who shocked themselves with surviving, people who still fight, who still struggle. For all of them OTHis more. The music from it all songs that makes their hearts ache because of the beauty of it. All they have gone through. All what comes next. Their lives. Their job. Who they are. Their safety. This warm feeling in a chest. Especially when they have nobody who believes in them, who makes their dreams come true,who believes in them and supports them. If their friends are farAway or if they don't have them at all. If a huge tragedy happens. If they just sit in the darkness and cry. This is what saves them. Everytime. I guess none of us can explain that to the ones who aren't one of us. I just simply say that they are only 3 things that I do love. in my life this much. And this is the first. Because when I think about all the people who still want to travel through the whole world to see the place when they created it, the houses, TRIC, The bridge, or who want to meet the cast. People who really live only because of OTH. Because their life was tragic, or just tough. Because their parents weren't good parents. Because their life wasn't as good as they needed it to be. They just get these tattoos. And quotes. And new friends. From this whole family. From this home. People who can see through. People who see more. People who care. People who were attacked. Beaten pretty hard. People to whom the closest ones kept talking that they are a failure. People who simply just wanted all the pain to stop. People who felt unworthy, lonely, weak. People who were in such a darkness that they thought they would never see a sun again. People who were hurt, or raped, or mistreated. People who are grateful for OTH everyday. Turns out that there is a lot of them in this world. this is our safe place. Our home. Our dreams, passions and talents are here and we will make it all come true. Because we do believe. WHY then? Because of the impact on people. Who they were before watching. Rewatching then. Who they become after. Watching. Rewatching. People who love it way too much.. that sometimes the immensity of this love terrifies even them. People who feel like there is someone for them, always. People who know that today and tomorrow and five days from now they will be just fine. Maybe even better than fine. Because they have a home. a family. It can be only way better than fine. ❤️

[6-v-6]

10 Things

I was tagged by @flower-taemin (edit also by @leejinklies she beat me to it thank u soph) thank you bells I hope you feel better soon!! I am sending my love and support your way 

SHINee changed my life my dudes like not only has their music really helped me out when I’ve been feeling down, and not only are the members themselves able to cheer me up with their antics, but the fandom itself has introduced me to so many great people that I’m so honored to be able to call my friends like really I’ve made more friends in this past year than I have in my entire highschool experience it’s surreal and amazing and so many nice people have done nice things for me and yeah I love you all a lot.

one time I tried to balance on top of a wooden log and I fell off and sprained my wrist and had to get a brace

my mom has been using the correct pronouns with me lately and my brother uses my prefered name it makes staying at home a lot more nice and comfortable :D

I can’t take naps it’s physically not possible for me

I still don’t know to feel about my mom waiting 20 years of my life to tell me the truth about her/my heritage so my personal identity is still just a ton of ?????????? 

sometimes I write things maybe

I used to take Fencing and I was so good at it that my brother’s friend in the class used to call me the “kick ass [guy]” because he didn’t know my name. I attribute all my skills to watching the anime Bleach. I won the tournament and the dude I faced got so salty it was Great

I refuse to enter stores if no one else is inside i get way too anxious

During one of my Tae Kwon Do tournaments I didn’t win any medals or trophies when my sister and brother both did so I was Upset and my teacher gave me a bronze medal to take home for doing literally nothing and i still have it #mood

When I was testing for my black belt in TKD part of our test was to memorize 20 korean words and I still vividly remember how badly I butchered the words that I memorized the word 아빠 aka “ouch/it hurts” by telling myself “oh it sounds like Appa from Avatar” and that’s literally how I remembered it by associating the word with a flying bison

I’ll tag: @choiminoh @silverznight @shinee-who @sataeminism @prismorbit but of course only if you want to ~!