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bbygirlpascal · 2 years

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Unexpected (Pedro Pascal x Fem Reader)

18+ NSFW: Please do not interact with my posts if you are under 18.

Summary: Your called-off engagement has left you dating shitty men and having even shittier sex. Luckily, your best friend Pedro is always there to cheer you up and keep you entertained.

You always thought of Pedro as a friend, nothing more. Someone you can hang out with at the ungodly hours of the night when no one else was awake, you could count on him to be up. Ever since you’ve been living on your own in your home you’ve felt lonelier than ever. Your engagement to the man you thought was your soulmate had been called off almost 5 months now but it has yet to get easier.

Mindless, no strings attached flings here and there surely kept you occupied, but never pleased. Going out on dates with men you knew only wanted one thing, and spoke big game on their performance but always failed to deliver when you actually fucked.

Tonight was no different and you just wanted this guy out of your house. He was jabbering on about something you weren’t even paying attention to, you were just nodding your head and zoning out.

“Listen, I don’t feel so good. I think I want to lay down and sleep the night off. I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?” you said to him.

“Sure, no problem (Y/N), it was great meeting you,” he sheepishly smiled as you walked him over to the door. Not giving him any ounce of a hint that you needed or wanted a goodbye kiss. Turning around and slumping onto the couch, you grabbed your phone and called Pedro.

“Hey Pedrito,” you said to him and chuckled.

“Hey mama, what’s up?”

“Just ended my date, he was going on about some bullshit like crypto or something I almost fell asleep, no joke and he kept staring at my tits all. night.” you turned around and laid on your back, “Are you up to anything tonight? I’m bored.”

“No I’m free, I’ll be there in about 20,” he hung up and you pushed yourself off the couch to get yourself unready for the night. This part of your night was your favorite, almost ritualistic when you thought about it.

You were in the middle of brushing through your hair and you heard your doorbell ring. Making your way to the front door you opened it to a smiling Pedro, holding a bottle of your favorite liquor.

“I had some of your favorite so I figured I’d bring it with me,” he stepped in to the door and gave you a peck on the cheek, “Good to see you.”

“You too. I’ll get us some glasses.”

Pedro made his way into your living room, the glow from the pool in your backyard reflecting onto the ceiling, making silver ripples bounce and dance on the wooden beams. You walked out with glasses in hand and Pedro was standing in front of the sliding glass door looking outside at the pool.

“I think we should go for a swim.”

“What about a float swim? I don’t want to get my hair wet,” you said, recalling the labor you just went through to get your hair to its current state.

“What is a float swim?” he chuckled and raised an eyebrow.

“You know...just sit on our floats in the water. No swimming involved,” you said to him, “A float swim.”

“Ah, make sense. I’ll meet you out there.” he scurried to your guest bathroom to get changed.

You made you way into your bedroom to put on your bathing suit. Most of your suits barely covered anything on your body, your ass was out and your breasts peeking out of the sides of the triangle shaped fabric that hardly covered them.

You and Pedro floated around for awhile, sipping on your vodka martinis and laughing about the stories you told each other. Soon you felt too prune-y and figured it was time to get out, plus it was getting a little chilly. As Pedro so lovingly pointed out and joked about your nipples being hard enough to cut glass.

You stepped into the guest bathroom to go pee and hang up your bathing suit, your normal routine since you didn’t have room to hang up your bathing suit in your master bath. Naked and drying yourself off, you heard the door knob move and turned around to see Pedro. He didn’t even realize you were in there until he looked up.

“Oh god, sorry (Y/N), sorry,” he swiftly moved to step back out of the door frame. Slightly embarrassed but not enough to make things awkward, you finished drying yourself off and wrapped your towel around yourself.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t notice the light was on, I should’ve knocked.”

“Pedro,” you walked over to him and placed your hand on his arm, “it's okay. I think we’re bound to see each other naked at some point.”

You’re not really sure why you even said that, the vodka was definitely speaking more so than you thought.

“Sorry, that came out differently than I thought it sounded in my head,” you chuckled nervously, “but seriously, don’t worry.”

Pedro moved closer to you, “So, you want me to see you naked?”

Your cheeks felt hot, you could feel his gaze on you and you tried to avoid eye contact with him.

“Have you thought about me like that, (Y/N)?”

You nodded your head yes. Pedro was inches from your face now, he used his finger to tilt your chin up, your faces nearly touching. You inhaled his scent, his familiar scent. He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, you leaned into his hand fluttering your eyes closed. Nerves and bubbling excitement coursed through you. Never did you think you’d be in this position with Pedro of all people. You’d thought about him romantically, sure and when you first met him you had a crush on him, but he was taken – so friends it was. But now, it was different.

Pedro came closer to you and kissed your lips. Gentle but with so much passion and want you could hardly contain yourself. You ran your hands along his bare arms, still droplets of water on them from the pool. You laced them into his hair, nudging his head closer to your face. He pulled away and looked into your eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he looked at you intently, “Cause if we do this, I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop.”

You bit your lip and looked into his eyes as you crashed your lips back onto his. He backed up and you both made your way into the kitchen. He grabbed you by your waist and plopped you on top of the counter. The cold ceramic counter against your bare ass make you squeal but you kept your lips locked. Sloppily tonguing at each other, letting saliva coat each other’s lips.

Pedro made his way down towards your collar bones, stopping to lick and suck on the sensitive part of your neck. Giving you goosebumps all along your body. He lowered your towel and exposed your breasts instantly latching his mouth around your nipple. Cupping your breast and kneading it with his calloused hands. You threw your head back letting out small whimpers as he teased the sensitive bud and send waves of pleasure to your core.

Subconsciously spreading your legs to rub your pussy on him, needing even an ounce of friction to ease the pleasurable pain.

“Patience baby girl, I’ll help your little aching pussy soon,” he growled as he continued to suckle on your breasts. You could see his hard on in his swim trunks, you certainly didn’t think Pedro was small but you never thought he was that big. You thought about his thick cock entering you and bit your lip.

“Pedro, please baby,” you begged him, your cunt dripping with wetness. Pedro grabbed your legs and lifted them up, your pussy off the edge of the counter, totally exposed to him and he was aching to devour you.

“So pretty baby, your pussy is so pretty,” he said, looking you in the eye as he licked his tongue from your entrance up to your clit, “Mmm, and you’re so wet for me mama.”

You were practically already about to cum at his words. You mercilessly rubbed and rolled your hips against his tongue as he sucked and lapped at your clit. The wet, obscene sound filling your ears was like music. He slid in two of his fingers into your entrance, you could hear how wet you were and he was fingering you so perfectly you were on the verge of screaming.

He continued at his pace, licking and sucking and fingering you into oblivion, until you couldn’t take it any longer. “I’m gonna cum baby,” you whined to him, gripping his hair.

“Cum in my mouth mama, come on,” he talked you through it and your core contracted around his fingers, the pleasure bursting from your belly. He continued fingering you through your orgasm, “Yeah that’s it baby. Cum for me.”

You breathlessly propped yourself up, ready to please him and aching to have his cock in your mouth. Your lips locked once more as he grabbed you from your ass and led you to the bedroom. Sitting down on your knees on the carpeted floor, you pulled down his swim shorts.

His cock spring out, his head glistening with drops of pre cum that made your mouth water. You puckered your lips onto his tip, swirling your tongue around it before deep throating his length into your mouth. He practically growled as he dropped his head back, shallow breaths escaping his lips every time you bobbed your head up and down.

“Yes (Y/N), your pretty little mouth feels so good,” he said to you, gathering your hair into a ponytail in his hand, “Sucking on my cock so good, my little slut.”

He thrusted his cock into your mouth, drool dropping onto your tits as it spilled from the sides of your mouth. You crept your hand up to cup his balls, Pedro straining to not cum right then and there.

He pulled his cock out of your mouth and you rose up off of your knees, towards the bed.

“Turn around mama,” you obliged and Pedro gently nudged your top half to the mattress. You stuck your ass up and buried your face into your duvet. A sharp smack to your ass made you yelp and Pedro let out a soft hum as he rubbed the reddened area. He ran his tip along your folds, collecting your wetness before plowing himself into you.

Your walls stretched out to accommodate his size, almost painful at first but the pleasure quickly overpowered it as he rolled his hips and stuffed his cock into your pussy.

“Pedro, oh my god baby,” you said to him, gripping the comforter as he plowed into you, hitting your spot perfectly every time.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck. You feel so good, so big.”

“Cum on my cock princess, I wanna hear you scream.”

Your moans were feral, your walls clenched around his cock. You were seeing stars and you could feel the heat of his seed coating your walls and he smacked and gripped your ass. You lifted the top of your body up, leaning back into his chest. Taking in his scent and feeling his chest heave up and down quickly.

“That was...amazing,” you said to him, thighs shakily trying to keep yourself up.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he said and sensually kissed your neck, leading his way to your lips and wrapping his arms around your waist as he squeezed you tightly.

#pedro pascal fanfic rec #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fluff #the last of us #hbo tlou #the last of us hbo #the mandolorian #hbo the last of us

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torukmaktoskxawng · 1 year

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Headcanons if Avatar!Grace lived and raised Kiri alongside the Sullys and adopted Spider:

"Jake Sully, I know damn well that you didn't just ground your son for recklessness! 'You wanna hear about reckless? How about the time you taunted a baby hammerhead titanothere and its mother before being chased into the jungle by a Thanator like the asshat you are."

Spider is depressed because Neytiri has yet to warm up to him. Grace gathers him up like he's still a baby and since she's a Na'vi and he's a human, it's so easy to do: "Give her some time, kiddo. Neytiri has lost more than most to the Sky People. In the meantime, go find your sister. I think she's been wanting to show you her newest verse in her songcord."

"Neteyam, sometimes you gotta just ignore your father. He's a jarhead. No. I'm not telling you what that means."

Kiri when she's vocal about her insecurities and how she feels different from everyone else. Grace silently listens before saying: "You hear Eywa? Normally, I would call you crazy from a scientist's perspective... but after what Eywa has done for me... After she saved all that I am in this body while the human one died, and after she gave me you, I don't think it sounds as crazy anymore. You're a miracle, baby. My sweet little miracle. You and your brother are so special, and any moron who says otherwise must have a death wish."

Ever watch Once Upon a Time? Remember this scene between Regina and Emma? ⤵️

Quaritch: He's my son-!

Grace: HE'S NOT, HE'S MINE!

"Jake, Lo'ak came to me traumatized because he walked in on you and Neytiri."

Jake: It was an accident. But at the same time, he can't just walk in without announcing himself.

"No? Huh. That's funny. Hey, I think Norm should go talk to your son about the time you wheeled in on him and Trudy--"

Speaking of Norm, Grace has a hard time being able to fit herself in their portable biolab due to the size so Norm and Max build a large greenhouse and lab meant for Grace's new height difference. They can't change the fact that the microscopes are still too small for her hands, however.

"If my hands weren't capable of crushing the damn thing I would've done it myself instead of letting you idiots tamper the samples with your saliva AGAIN."

She still teaches all the village kids how to speak English among other human customs. A new school is built in the mountains and Tuk is her best student, obviously.

Grace vocally admits she prefers Jake in a wheelchair because he was easier to push around. To which Jake responds: "Woman, you know damn well you still push me around."

Here's some more angst: Kiri and Spider are arguing and I believe this scene comes from the live action Mowgli movie:

Kiri: You're my best friend, Spider. I understand what it's like for no one to want you. I don't have any friends neither. But we have each other and we're like the same--

Spider: We're not the same.

Kiri: We are. Because- you're special, and I'm special--

Spider: WE'RE NOT SPECIAL! Don't you get it?! We'll never be one of them! We're freaks! You're not special, Kiri! It's just something Mom tells you to make you feel better about yourself BECAUSE YOU CAME OUT WRONG!

(Side note: Wow. I just made myself cry.)

Grace would be beside herself. She's trying to comfort Kiri after the fight and trying to figure out what to do with Spider. She knows she should ground him, but at the same time, she knows where he's coming from and why he finally snapped. With Quaritch hunting them and likely trying to take Spider back, the boy is beyond stressed on top of still trying to fit in.

Lo'ak ended up being the one who got Kiri and Spider to make up after giving each other the silent treatment for a week. Lo'ak understood them better than Grace ever could.

Grace, with Rotxo, probably: If you break my daughter's heart, then I'll break your tail.

Jake is trying to get his whole family to behave alongside the Metkayina so that they could stay there and not get kicked out. He didn't realize he'll have to make GRACE AUGUSTINE behave on top of that.

Ronal and Grace have MAD respect for each other you can't convince me otherwise.

I NEED to see Avatar!Grace riding a skimwing with the brightest smile on her face that would be so amazing.

Tsireya buddies up to her immediately, sticking to her side like glue and asking a hundred questions, usually followed by "Can I take Kiri and Spider swimming?"

Ao'nung keeps a good several feet between himself and Grace. He's suspicious and she straightens him out with one glare, ESPECIALLY after he bullied her kids around for being freaks.

Grace even got Tonowari to laugh when she came dragging his son home by the ear for talking rudely to her.

Grace is like a second mom to Neytiri when they're so far away from home.

And finally:

"I'm too old for this bullshit."

Please reblog and add your own headcanons! I need more Grace

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timemachineyeah · 2 years

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I think it’s interesting that we learn Philip and Caleb became witch hunters to fit in to the existing culture of Gravesfield.

Because the thing about witch hunts is, there’s a lot of zealotry and tattling involved. If they weren’t a pair of traveling radicals, but rather two side characters in an ongoing town furor? That changes things.

Up until now I’ve been a little curious about the dynamic of having Philip be the younger brother. We are more used to stories where the older person has authority over the younger in a way that allows them to be despotic. Basically when you have two siblings in fiction and one is evil, it’s usually the older one. But Caleb seemed pretty chill? People with chill authority figures usually don’t grow up to do genocide? But Philip is really committed to genocide? And jealousy over your older brother getting a girlfriend is a weird thing to genocide over?

But now we learn, that’s not really the story. Or not the whole story.

This is a JoJo Rabbit situation. This is a Hitler Youth situation.

In a town that’s in a fervor to find the hidden secret evil citizens among them, kids are potentially dangerous. The children you love and care for are also the most likely to be unsavvy and get you killed. Sometimes older relatives under those circumstances have to, or at least feel like they have to, let their younger family members be indoctrinated without openly opposing it, even pretending to support it, because, well. Children talk. Often without filter. Maybe it would be okay, but

Is it worth risking one or both of you being hung in the square to test that theory?

So they get to this town. This town will hang or burn you if you aren’t pious enough. And this town defines piety by its hatred of The Devil. We are all trying to prove we hate the devil the most. And Caleb, older brother, is like, okay then. That’s what’ll keep us fed. That’s what’ll keep us safe. He’s not a zealot so much as he’s just trying to keep him and his kid brother alive and win the town’s favor. Maybe the zealotry even freaks him out a bit, but not enough. Not until he meets Evelyn.

But Philip? Philip believes. Of course he does. His brother has never made any indication to him that there’s room for doubt. No one has ever done that. At least no one whose execution he didn’t later watch with his entire community cheering it on. Because they were dangerous. Everyone knows how this neighbor got sick, how witches caused that terrible accident, how Satan tries to keep us from our eternal salvation. This is literal. This is real. This is eternal souls and cosmic reality. He’s a kid, at first. He gets indoctrinated young. He believes this.

And then they find the actual realm of demons. Actual hell. The source of all evil in the universe. Fucking obviously it is his divine calling to destroy it once and for all. Wouldn’t you? If you could end all suffering? Save everyone for eternity? Surely that is noble. Righteous. Sacred.

And how is he supposed to believe anything else? What is easier to believe: the whole world is a lie and he has been watching innocent people killed for entertainment since he was a child - which goes against everything he was ever taught and also feels fucking bad. Or: the witches used their evil magic to convince my brother they aren’t evil, which proves how evil they are. That lines up perfectly with everything I know, everything everyone around me has always said, and makes it okay that I participated in those public executions, and also gives me some good righteous anger to fuel me on a genocidal rampage for as long as I continue to exist.

In Philip’s head, he’s the center of his dramatic fantasy epic. He’s the lone hero up against the big bad. He’s going to take on the Devil himself.

Idk, I just think it’s cool that The Owl House was like, “hey, Satanic panics, fascism, and genocide are allied ideologies, perhaps even the same ideology, and it’s Bad”

Also, “societal pressure to conform enables and even encourages people to hurt those they love”. Camila tried to send Luz to camp because she didn’t want Luz to be bullied the way she had been, because Luz’s principal told her she had to. It was a gesture born out of a desire to protect her, but one that would ultimately hurt. Caleb let Philip grow up more pious than he was because it seemed safest, to protect him. Philip grew up believing in eternal damnation and righteous cruelty, something that has clearly ultimately hurt him I mean look at what he is now. Philip, meanwhile, hurt Caleb and continues to hurt his family because he thinks there’s a Right and Wrong way to exist. To be. The ultimate call for conformity. For hegemony. But he didn’t spontaneously generate this belief. It was reinforced from a young age from a society that wanted to make sure no one was deviating too much. To centralize and maintain power through manipulation, exploitation, and force.

Anyway I cannot fucking wait for Camila and Eda to meet oh my fucking god

#timemachine wuz here #the owl house spoilers #the owl house #toh spoilers #toh #philip wittebane

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borathae · 2 years

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↳ Index [Day 23 - Studio Sex]

Pairing: Soft Dom!Yoongi x sub f.Reader

Kinks: studio sex, sex in a chair, thigh riding, spanking but lovingly, praise, body worship, breast worship, stripping, Yoongi’s hands, creampies, Yoongi is a tease i hate him and need him and want him and love him!!!

Wordcount: 6k

a/n: yes besties, you’re getting more dom!bangtan. i think i’ve written too much sub stuff during kinktober that now i’m just way too tired of always taking the lead and i just wanna be taken care of for a change ahahhaha have fun this is so hot that i had to lie down afterwards🖤

“Hey there.”

The door to his studio falls into its lock behind you, closing with a beep.

“Yoongi?”

Your boyfriend obviously hasn’t heard you, busy typing and clicking away on his computer.

“Yoongi love?” so you try a second time.

Yoongi doesn’t react. No wonder. He has his headphones on and is playing music through them. You slip out of your coat and place it over the leather couch he has in his little studio. It was quite the homely place. The walls were painted a warm white, lighting fixtures were placed strategically for a relaxing feel and soft rugs covered the floors. They were mostly for soundproofing, but they still managed to give a cozy feel to the place, even if one of them told whoever entered his studio to very loudly Fuck Off. You know that you weren’t meant by it. Not you. Never you. You are the only person, next to Yoongi of course, who knows the code to his studio. And you know that you are always welcome here.

You spent many days in his studio. You share food in here after work, talk about your days, fuck like animals. Some days you also come over solely to work in his presence. You really love those days because you get to spend time with him while doing your own thing. Yoongi really loves those days too, because he can work so much easier when you are close to him.

You aren’t wearing any shoes, having discarded of them in front of his studio. Yoongi has a clear no shoe policy in his studio and you totally get him. You never understood people who walk around their cozy spaces with their outdoor shoes on. That shit is rancid.

The rugs feel soft on your feet, muffling your steps as you hurry to him.

“Yoongi baby?” you try one last time.

Yoongi is nodding his head to whatever beat is currently playing in his headphones, tapping his fingers on the table. But no reaction to you.

So you reach out and touch his shoulder.

“Oh fuck”, he gasps loudly, flinching with his entire body.

“Oh sorry”, you gasp, pulling your hand away. He startled you just as much as you seemed to have startled him.

Yoongi slams his finger on the keys and stops the track from playing. He turns and looks up at you, removing his headphones. His eyes are widened in shock

“Don’t scare me like that”, he whines, “I almost died.”

“Gosh sorry, I said your name like three times, but you didn’t hear me”, you say, snickering.

“Ah baby”, he touches his own chest, “you just made my heart race. Don’t ever do that again”, he says whilst standing up.

“I’m sorry. You okay?” you say, drawing closer to him instinctively.

“Mhm, ‘m okay”, Yoongi mumbles, snaking his arm around your waist to pull you into a kiss.

It was a chaste kiss, but so incredibly sweet and full of love. It makes both of smile and rub the tips of your noses together.

“Missed you, love”, he says.

“Missed you too”, you answer him, keeping your eyes closed to enjoy his presence to the fullest.

You feel his lips on your forehead in a loving kiss and then he is already drawing back, sitting back down on his chair. It makes a little squeaking sound.

You grab the empty chair next to his’ and sit down, moving it closer to him. Yoongi keeps this chair empty for you. He may allow whoever comes in here for work to sit on it, but in his mind this is your chair. He loves it so much when you sit in it and pay him company. He likes to sneak glances at you whenever that happens, feeling giddy each and every time because he is so smitten for you.

Yoongi is already working again, eyes focused on Cubase. He unplugged his headphones so you can listen to what he is listening to and even turned the screen a little to make it easier for you to see.

You hug his arm, leaving one adoring kiss on it before resting your cheek on it. He is wearing one of his black hoodies today. The really soft one.

“You smell good”, you say, rubbing against him like a cuddly cat.

“You’re cute”, Yoongi says, placing his hand on your thigh to rub it softly. He doesn’t look away from the screen, but still has half of his attention on you.

“Are you still working on Dreamscape?” you ask him. It was the name of his current favourite project. Yoongi says that the name was only temporary, but you liked it nonetheless.

“Yes, I’m working on the beat. What do you think of that part?”

Yoongi presses play and shows you the first verse. It was just the melody and beat for now, but already sounded amazing. He stops it right before the chorus starts.

“You removed the strings.”

“Yeah”, he nods his head, “I thought they were too much.”

“Yes I agree. It sounds a lot more harmonious now. I really like it.”

Yoongi sneaks a glance at you, “thanks”, he mumbles shyly and looks back at his screen. Your opinion matters a lot to him, so hearing that you like what he did makes him really happy.

You enjoy a few moments of silence after that. You spend it resting your cheek on his arm and touching him mindlessly. Yoongi spends it perfecting the second verse and holding your thigh. Every now and then, one of you also turns their head just to give the other a little kiss.

“How was the dentist by the way?” Yoongi asks into the silence.

“It was good. She told me that my teeth are all very healthy, but that I should floss more”, you tell him.

“Flossing is overrated.”

“Yeah, I agree”, you snicker, “but it really helps. We should both do it more.”

“No thank you, I’m good. It’s too much work.”

“Goddamn it Yoongi, I was trying to make you my official motivational coach. Don’t ruin my plans”, you whine, pinching his tummy gently.

Yoongi tenses it and places his hand over yours to hold it and also prevent you from tickling him again.

“I can still be your coach, I’m just not gonna do it with you.”

“Yeah as if that ever worked for us. Remember when you were supposed to help me eat less chocolate and we failed miserably?”

“Yeah, because diets are dumb. Just eat whatever you wanna eat. I wanna see you happy, not on a stupid diet”, he whines.

“Aren’t you the one currently on an anti coffee diet?”

Yoongi looks at you with slightly squinted eyes.

“That is only because it’s giving me heart palpitations and I wanna stop that. Did you-“, he pouts, “did you just come here to bicker with me?”

“No god”, you chuckle, leaning in to kiss his pouty lips, “sorry, I hope you know that I don’t mean it in a rude way.”

“Yeah whatever, I know”, he kisses your lips and looks back at his screen.

You gaze at him, playing with his hair at the nape of his neck. He is currently growing it out, looking so handsome with it. He is also wearing two hairclips today, using them to keep the strands out his face. His glasses are perched atop his nose, reflecting the screen.

“You look so handsome.”

Yoongi sneaks a glance at you, clearly flustered by the surprise compliment. He looks away again and gives you one of his small, toothless smiles and a nod of his head.

He makes you smile. You love giving him compliments. He is always so cute when he receives them.

You let your eyes wander down his body. The hoodie suits him so well. You love it so much when Yoongi wears pretty clothes, but there was just something about seeing him in casual clothes that gets you. Maybe it is the fact that only a few people can see him like that and he counts you to that little circle. Or maybe it is simply because it is Yoongi and he is the most handsome man on earth.

“Yoongi?”

“Yes love?”

“You're so handsome.”

“Mhm.”

“No I mean it. You are so handsome.”

“I heard you the first two times”, he mumbles, touching his ear shyly.

You smile and lean in to peck his cheek.

“You’re so cute.”

“Mhm”, he turns and pecks your lips, chuckling when you try to chase him only to fail because he turns his head away again. He did so only to tease you of course.

“Can I sit on your lap?” you ask him, rubbing his thigh softly.

“You’re gonna be horny, aren’t you?”

“No?” you chuckle in embarrassment, “I just wanna be closer to you.”

Yoongi glances at you, “are you okay?” he asks, making space for you.

You climb on him, placing your knees on each side of his thighs. You plop down, wrapping your arms around him and resting your cheek on his shoulder.

“Yes, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Cause if you’re not horny, then you only wanna sit on my lap when you’re upset.”

“Yes true, but sometimes I’m also just horny.”

Yoongi exhales loudly, making you chuckle.

"You told me that you wouldn’t be. Literally two seconds ago”, he whines.

"Yeah well…"

“Baby I fucked you so good this morning. Are you seriously horny again?"

You laugh, snuggling closer.

“Would it be so bad if I was horny again?”

“No, but I can’t get shit done when you’re always on my dick.”

“Who says you have to get the song done today?”

“The deadlines.”

“And who made those deadlines?”

“I did, but that’s beside the point”, Yoongi cranes his neck to look at your face, “stop being so horny all the time”, he says, giving your butt a soft spank.

You chase it with a little wiggle of your hips.

“I wasn’t even horny right now, but if you keep spanking me, I’ll change my mind”, you say.

Yoongi’s faux annoyance façade breaks instantly. He snorts and chuckles, eyes softening in fondness.

“You’re so cute”, he says, pecking your forehead and looking back at his screen.

You rest your cheek on his shoulder, getting lost in his scent. Yoongi has the best chest to lean on. So strong and safe and always so warm. You love being close to him so, so much.

Yoongi keeps his hand on your ass. It feels so big and so strong. Quite frankly, it does rile you up a little. You really love his hands. They are so sexy. So having him hold your ass like that messes with your sanity just a little.

“I’m really happy that you’re here, baby”, Yoongi tells you, “I can really feel my energy rising because of you.”

“I’m happy to be of help”, you cuddle into him, pressing your chest against his, “I love being here.”

Yoongi sighs happily, giving your butt a soft pat.

“I'm serious, don’t spank me”, you warn, poking your finger into his tits.

“I'm not spanking you. This would feel something along the line of this”, he says and does the unthinkable of truly landing a spank on your ass. It was loud and leaves a slight burning sensation on your skin.

“Ah”, you moan, chasing him desperately while your thighs squeeze around him.

“Baby what the hell?” Yoongi gasps.

You lift your head, meeting his widened eyes. He looks flabbergasted.

“That was so loud”, he says, “I, I was just joking with you and-“

He can’t finish his sentence because you kiss him before he can. You kiss him sloppily and oh so desperately, moaning into his mouth whilst rolling your hips over his thigh.

“Wait woah wait”, Yoongi breaks the kiss and laughs, "darling wait."

“Yoongi kiss me”, you beg, chasing him with closed eyes.

“Baby, I have to work.”

“Yeah and you made me horny”, you whimper softly, grinding your pussy against his clothed thigh. It feels so soft and warm, you love it so much, “you can’t just spank me and then act like this wouldn’t affect me.”

“You're so strange sometimes. You don’t even like getting spanked”, he says with amusement in his voice and fondness in his eyes.

“Yeah well”, you pout, “let me be. Humans are weird. I just feel like it today.”

“I'm not judging. We're all complicated creatures. We sometimes like stuff we never liked before and vice versa.”

“Exactly”, you snicker, “what a poetic way of saying it.”

Yoongi chuckles, rubbing your butt softly.

“Mhhm Yoongi please”, you whine, moving closer, “can we do something?”

“Baby you said you weren’t horny and that I could work”, Yoongi is only pretending to be annoyed. Quite frankly he loves the little game you are currently playing.

“Yeah but that was before you were sexy.”

“Oh? So I’m not sexy on normal days?”

You squish his cheeks, “you’re always sexy, but now you are super sexy.”

He snorts, “I still gotta work.”

You give him a pout.

Yoongi’s eyes soften. He reaches up to caress your chin, holding it between two of his fingers afterwards.

“What do you want, my baby?” he asks in his typical I’d do anything for you voice.

“I just want…you. Something of you.”

“Yeah? Do you wanna ride my thigh for a little, mhm?”

You nod your head, feeling your stomach tingle in excitement. Yoongi gives you his prettiest smile, caressing your chin again.

“I can do that for you. Start whenever you feel like it”, he whispers, turning you weak with just the sound of his voice.

You scramble off his lap. Yoongi watches with his lips slightly agape in awe. Not that he could do anything other than watch you. You placed yourself right in front of his screen. Yoongi doesn’t mind one bit, enjoying the little show with a racing heart. You step out of your sweats first.

“I’m not wearing nice panties today”, you confess, giggling shyly whilst trying to tug your shirt over your butt.

Yoongi furrows his brows angrily, looking highly displeased by your words.

“Come closer”, he orders.

You follow instantly, gasping when he places his hands on your hips. His eyes flit up.

“Can I see?” he asks.

“Yes”, you whisper, “don’t laugh.”

“Never”, he promises, changing his gaze to your middle. He tugs your shirt up, keeping it from slipping down by touching your waist with the fabric between his palm and your body. His eyes run over your clothed middle and the lilac cotton panties you are wearing. The frilly edge is just a little washed out and frayed. Yoongi swears he has never seen something more beautiful.

“You are so beautiful”, he says, gazing up at you, “I don’t know what bullshit you’re talking about. I love those panties.”

“Really?” you say, feeling your cheeks burn up.

“Of course. They look really comfy and soft and make your skin look so pretty.”

“They are really comfy”, you say, swaying from side to side giddily.

“That’s good to hear”, Yoongi smiles, “can I touch them?”

You nod your head vigorously.

“Hold the shirt for me, love.”

You follow without hesitation, watching his hands with sparkly eyes. Yoongi dances them down along your tummy, eyes glowing in adoration.

“You’re so beautiful”, he whispers, brushing against the hem of the panties. He outlines the frilly edge, lips curling into a content smile.

“They’re washed out already”, you whisper.

“Hush. They’re perfect”, he silences you, smile growing.

You feel like burning up and squeaking and jumping around. Yoongi makes you feel so pretty and sexy and happy.

He abandons the edge to run his thumbs down to your pussy. He never touches you, lifting his thumb right before he meets where you ache the most. Now he is hovering right above your clit, driving you crazy in desperation.

Yoongi lifts his gaze.

“Do I have permission?” he asks.

“Just do it. Oh my god, you tease”, you whine, making him grin.

“So impatient”, he whispers, lowering his eyes back to where it is most important. He finally lowers his thumb, connecting it with your clit.

You gasp, chasing him instantly. You can’t feel a lot because of the position and the panties, but it is Yoongi’s touch. Yoongi’s. And that means that it feels ten times more intense. He runs his thumb down your pussy, eyes following the touch and smile adorning his face. You seriously have to hold back from crumbling.

“So warm”, he breathes, letting his touch linger on your entrance. He draws slow circles, holding your squirming hips with his unoccupied hand, “baby, you’re so warm.”

“You’re such a tease”, you complain in a whine.

“What do you mean?” he asks innocently, gawking up at you.

“Touch me more.”

Yoongi smirks in amusement, doing the unthinkable traitorous act of pulling his hand away. You are outraged, scandalized, betrayed!

“No please”, you beg, reaching for his wrist to pull his hand back where it belongs.

Yoongi laughs, eyes sparkling in mischief.

“You’re so horny, baby. Oh my god. Didn’t you say I could still work? And now you wanna make me touch you?” he teases, painting the hottest warmth of embarrassment onto your cheeks.

“You’re so mean”, you whine, swaying from side to side needily.

Yoongi stops the movements by gripping your hips strongly, forcing your knees to buckle in desperation.

“And you’re wet”, he says, eyes flitting up to meet yours. They are darkened in arousal, glistening dangerously, “I can see it soaking your pretty little panties. Just a little stain right…”, he dances his thumb down to where your panties are soaked, “…there”, he says, pressing his thumb against it.

You tense up and gasp, hips chasing him in needy rolls. It makes his thumb grind against your pussy.

Yoongi lets you do that long enough for the stain to grow a little. Then he stops you, retreating his touch to grip your hips again.

“Please”, you whimper.

“That’s where you’re wet”, he ignores your beg to keep on teasing.

“Please more”, you plead.

Yoongi hums contently, abandon your hips to dance his touch to the hem of your panties.

You wait with bated breath.

“Such pretty panties”, he whispers, trailing his touch further up your body.

You whine, making him smirk. He knows that you thought that he would undress you. He gets off on making you whine though, so obviously he’s not going to give it to you so quickly.

“Do you want to sit for me, baby?”

You are on his lap before he could even finish his sentence, mounting him like a needy animal. Yoongi laughs at your eagerness, letting you find your comfy spot with stretched out arms. With your hands on his shoulders and your pussy against his thigh, you stare at him, waiting for what he’ll do next.

“So eager”, he rasps, running his hands down your back until he can grab your ass. He watches you with cat-like attention, massaging your butt softly. Your breath trembles as it leaves you, your eyes fill with desperate pleasure. Yoongi lifts his hands. You gasp and stick your ass out. That is all he needed to know. He lowers them in a spank, eliciting a shudder to run through your entire body.

“Oh god”, you croak, hiding away in his chest while your hips rut against his thigh with all their might.

Yoongi quite frankly feels so fucking affected by your reaction that it gets really fucking hard to breathe for him. You are so needy today. He is so into that.

“You really liked that, didn't you?” he asks, massaging your heated buttocks.

You nod your head, whimpering his name.

“You're so sexy, love”, he rasps, gathering more of your ass to massage it slowly, “love that ass so much.”

You mewl, squeezing your eyes shut and twisting a bundle of his hoodie. You really weren’t planning to be horny right now, but you don’t regret it. You love this so much. His touch is so addicting.

Yoongi runs his left hand up to your head. He tilts it up with a strong grip, making sure you can’t escape his eye contact.

“Are you having fun?” he asks to which you nod your head.

“Yes.”

“You do. That’s good to hear.”

“More”, you croak, chasing him needily.

You can see the moment Yoongi realises what that means. His love-filled eyes darken in arousal, eyelids lowering dangerously. He leans in, making sure his lips brush against your ear.

“You're gonna count to five for me now. Can you do that, mhm?”

You squirm, panties getting soaked more and more because of him.

“Yes. I can do that ”, you rasp, readying yourself by sticking your ass out.

Yoongi kisses your ear, “good girl”, he whispers, straightening back up afterwards.

He runs his big hand down to your ass, tracing the soft skin first.

“Ready?” he asks, eyes racing between yours.

“Yes”, you whisper, chasing him.

“Good. Start counting for me.”

“One”, you croak, readying yourself by gripping his strong shoulders.

Spank.

Yoongi’s hand comes into contact with your right buttock, making it jiggle. A stinging burn remains, making you moan in bliss.

“How's that, baby?” he asks, soaking up your droopy gaze. You looked so sexy when he spanked you. All surprised but oh so happy.

“Please more. T-two”, you beg, lifting your hips needily.

Spank.

Yoongi hit your left side for symmetry, making it sting oh so nicely. Your pussy throbs, aching to be stuffed.

“Oh god please”, you whimper, resting your head back against his chest, “three please.”

“That's so hot. You’re so sexy”, Yoongi rasps and spanks you again. He grips your flesh right afterwards, prolonging the burn by massaging it aggressively, “such a good girl.”

Spank.

“A-ah four”, you squeak, leaking all over his thigh. The spank surprised you so much. It hurts and burns and you are riding on its high. Yoongi doesn’t use particularly much force, knowing very well that you aren’t normally into it. So he wants to make sure you are still comfortable in your spontaneous fun, keeping his spank gentle but rough enough to give you a little glimpse of painful heaven. You don’t seem to mind, writhing on his lap needily.

“There we go. One more baby. One more and we're done”, he speaks softly, tracing your skin with his palm. It feels so hot to the touch. He can also feel that you are soaking through his sweats, feeling his cock strain his boxers because of it.

“Five please”, you beg, thighs trembling when he lands his last spank on your ass. It was harsh and rough, leaving a burning imprint on your skin. He wanted the last one to stay in your memories and judging by how needily you start humping his thigh, it will.

“There we go. All done”, Yoongi soothes the sensitive skin, cock aching in his sweats, “that was amazing baby. You did so well.”

“Please fuck me”, you beg and sob softly, “p-please fuck me.”

“Look at me.”

You follow instantly, showing him your glassy eyes. Yoongi places his hand at the back of your neck and leans in, making your breath hitch in your throat. He is gazing at your lips, being so close to kissing you. You tremble in excitement. Finally, you think, finally you’ll get his cock.

“No”, he however breaks your horny, little heart with one word, having the audacity to smirk afterwards, “you’ve got what you wanted. Now let me work.”

“Yoongi please”, you voice comes out both breathy and squeaky, your eyes burn unbearably.

“No, you can’t sway me. You wanted to ride my thigh, so get on with it”, he taunts, pulling back despite all the whining you are doing.

The cocky amusement on his face almost makes you want to fight him. He is doing this on purpose. He just made you soaking wet by spanking you, makes you ride his thigh, barely touches your pussy on purpose just so he can be a tease and leave you hanging. Oh, you want to break into the neediest tears. You need him so bad. Everything aches.

Yoongi is currently pretending to look at his screen, acting all busy by pressing random buttons on the keyboard. You take a look down at his crotch, feeling the urge to fight him grow. He is even sporting a boner. Loud and proud it is stretching his sweats.

“Yoongi please”, you beg quietly, rolling your hips over his thigh. The friction is so goddamn addicting.

He shakes his head.

“You’re so mean, I’m gonna fight you”, you complain, pushing at his chest.

His lips curl into a lazy smirk.

You huff out air and make your next move. You hook your fingers in your shirt, taking it off in one smooth movement. When you are free of it and have thrown it on the ground, you look back at Yoongi.

He is gawking at your chest with widened eyes, chest heaving up and down quickly.

“Please?” you try.

“You didn’t actually go to the dentist without a bra on, did you?”

“Maybe? Maybe I only took it off because I knew I’d be coming here. Maybe it’s still in my coat pocket. Maybe I want you to keep it here with you once I leave. Who knows.”

Yoongi gulps, placing his hands right under your breasts.

“Why are you seriously the sexiest woman on earth, ___?” he asks, voice deeper than usual.

You giggle. Jackpot. You’ve got him hooked again.

“Oh my fucking god, can I please touch them?” he whines.

“Yeah, touch them.”

Yoongi growls and goes to bury his face in your tits. He moans deliciously, inhaling deeply while his hands squeeze your flesh desperately. You laugh because he is adorable, chasing him with an arch of your back.

“You’re so sexy, holy fuck I’ve hit the jackpot”, he babbles, kissing every single inch of your chest, “I’m so lucky. Holy fuck, baby. My pretty baby.”

He makes you feel equal parts giddy and horny. Being praised feels so good when he is doing it. He is always so honest in his words. His touch always feels a hundred times more amazing because of it.

“So pretty. I fucking love your tits. You’ve got the best tits, baby. The motherfucking best”, he mumbles before taking your left nipple between his lips to suck on it gently.

“Ah, baby”, you gasp, squirming on his lap.

Yoongi slurps quietly, releasing your nipple just to kiss a path to your right one.

“I love you, love you like crazy. I’m the luckiest man”, he murmurs, showing you his gratitude by kissing and licking your nipple. He swirls his tongue right around it, eyes closed in bliss and chest rumbling in moans.

You moan too, tilting your head back in bliss. You can feel that touch all the way down to your pussy. This is exactly how he always eats you out. Little kisses and quick circles on your clit. The sensation is so familiar that it almost feels as if he is licking your clit right now.

You most definitely tremble just as much and your pussy most definitely aches just as much.

“Your nipples are so swollen. I’m going insane”, Yoongi whines with suffering in his voice, kissing his way back to your left side, “my cock’s so fucking hard, I want your pussy so bad.”

“Fuck me please”, you beg, feeling oh so weak from his licks.

Yoongi looks up at you, breaking away from your chest even if it hurts you both. He cups your cheek, forcing your forehead to rest against his’.

“Take my cock out”, he orders.

You work without hesitation. Yoongi helps you by lifting his butt from the chair so you can tug his clothes down easily. You tug them down until his knees and then Yoongi takes over, stepping out of them messily. They end up pooling around his left ankle, but he can’t be bothered. He needs to fuck you. Now.

“Lube?” he asks.

“No”, you shake your head, busy taking off your panties, “don’t need it.”

"Condom?"

“No, want you creampieing me", you say, throwing the panties on his desk. Yoongi eyes them hungrily as they landed right on his keyboard then looks at your now completely naked body.

“Fuck, you’re so hot. Wanna creampie you”, he rasps, caressing your cheek, “get on this fucking cock. Now.”

You waste not even a second, climbing atop of him to sink yourself down.

“Ah baby”, he moans, holding your hips.

“Yoongi”, you whimper, sinking into the sensations. His cock gives the best fucking stretch ever. He fits like no other, filling you up so good. Especially right now after all the teasing he put you through. You could honestly cum the moment he bottoms out from just how needy he has gotten you.

“Okay that’s fucking amazing. How are you doing, love?” Yoongi says, half-lidded eyes racing over your features.

“I wanna cum”, you confess, eliciting a deep chuckle from him.

“You wanna cum?” he asks, letting his head fall against the backrest of his chair just so he can watch you better. He looks so good like this. All cocky and confident and with his glasses all pretty on his nose.

“Yeah”, you whimper, “I’m really sensitive.”

“Poor baby, she’s sensitive”, he coos and begins rocking your hips for you, “so if I do this, is it already too much for you, mhm?”

“A-almost”, you get out, having to gasp for air afterwards.

“Almost”, Yoongi repeats and hums, “well that’s too bad”, he rasps, continuing his loving guidance. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth on his cock, shifting it inside you just enough to rile you up and keep you right there with. Right there, on this warm wave of pleasure. The kind which creeps so deep and stays for so long. The kind, which you never ever want to end.

"It feels so good", you whisper, whimpering softly afterwards.

"Yes baby, it does. You’ve got the best pussy. I love fucking that pussy, love it so much", he is lulling his words, which means he was struggling just as much.

"It's, it’s so much better than w-working, isn’t it?" you tease, having to gasp for air.

Yoongi chuckles lazily, eyes lowering playfully.

"It's the fucking best. Love having you on my dick", he smiles, giving your hips a loving squeeze, "keep moving just like this, baby. It’s perfect."

"Yeah", you croak, letting your eyes fall closed. You are moving on your own. Yoongi is still helping, but really doesn’t have to. You want to keep moving. His cock is the best, you feel so fulfilled right now.

Yoongi’s smile grows. His left hand leaves your hips just so he can cup your cheek instead. His heart flutters when you lean into his touch and your face lights up in happiness. He brushes his thumb over your cheek.

"You're so beautiful", he whispers, moaning softly because you clench around him in reaction. He chases the sensation with a careful thrust, eliciting a shake from you.

"Yoongi", his name sounds like honey when you say it, filling him with so much happiness.

Yoongi gives you another thrust, holding your cheek safely in his big hand.

You moan, tensing around him and nose scrunching up in pleasure.

Yoongi loves that view so much.

"Are you enjoying yourself, baby?" he asks, not because he is doubting himself but because he loves hearing you say it.

"Yes", you sigh, nodding your head slowly, "I'm really close."

"I know baby, I know. You’re such a good girl, you know that?" he praises, making you tense around his cock. He slips his hand from your hip and places his thumb against your clit.

"Oh fuck-", you exclaim, head tilting back in bliss and hips completely loosing their rhythm. You shake uncontrollably, pussy convulsing around him like crazy.

"There we go. Shake for me. You’re so pretty", he rasps, rubbing circles on your swollen clit. He gives you slow thrusts, dancing his hand down to your chest to play with your nipples.

"Yoongi", you mewl his name, dragging out his last syllable. You feel so charged. The build up is crazy. You can’t think straight. This is too good.

"It's okay, you’re okay. I'm right here with you", Yoongi soothes you, "cum for me, baby. It’s safe."

"Yoongi" you squeak, "I love you", you sob, falling into him as you fall into your high. You feel broken in the most beautiful of ways, never wanting the shakes to stop.

"I love you too baby. You’re doing so well. So, so well", Yoongi talks you through your orgasm, helping you ride it out with expert touches. He knows what your body needs during those moments, having helped you over the edge hundreds of times before. It never becomes boring, never ever.

Yoongi allows you to calm down once your high has stopped. He rubs your back and keeps his hips still, floating on your afterglow with you. His cock is so sensitive, each time your pussy clenches he feels charged.

"You did so good. You were such a good girl", he whispers to you.

"Did you cum too?" you ask him, voice frail but happy.

Yoongi kisses your shoulder, "all that matters is that you had fun."

"What?" your head shoots up, big eyes on him instantly, "no. No, don’t say that. I want you to cum too."

"You don’t have to."

"Be quiet", you say, moving your hips even if you are still a little dizzy from your orgasm.

Yoongi groans, furrowing his brows. His hands fall to your hips, squeezing them desperately.

"I wanna be creampied by you. You have to cum too", you insist, bouncing on his cock.

"You're gonna get it, trust me", he gets out and groans, eyes closed and lips parted.

"Yeah? That’s so hot. Do you like how I move my hips?"

"Faster please."

"Like this?" you say, putting more vigour in your movements for Yoongi’s enjoyment.

Yoongi moans loudly and arches his back. He nods his head vigorously, feeling his cock throb inside you.

"Don't stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop", he begs, resorting to making deep sounds of pleasure afterwards.

"You're the best human ever, Yoongi. And, and your cock’s so amazing", you say, burying your fingers in his hair to play with it. He’s such a sensitive scalp that hairplay always gets him oh so good.

"I'm gonna cum", he croaks, squeezing your hips strongly.

"Please fill me up. Make me drip, baby. Please", you beg, throwing Yoongi over the edge with a clench of your walls.

Yoongi moans your name as he climaxes, pumping you full of his warm cum and holding your hips so tightly you fear he might bruise them.

"Yes! Oh god stuff me. Yoongi, ah Yoongi", you encourage him, enjoying his orgasm with a dizzy head.

"___", he whimpers, shaking one last time and then he comes down hard.

He slacks in the chair, panting heavily to recover. You help him by leaning in and kissing his face, twirling strands of his hair between your fingers. His cock is still throbbing inside you, filling you up so nicely.

"You're seriously so amazing", he lulls, wrapping his arms around you to hug you.

"You too", you say, resting against him, "I feel so dizzy now."

"Yeah same", he laughs breathily, "the way you always make me cum. Are you a witch or something?"

You snicker, "maybe. That would be kinda cool."

He smiles, "yeah and hot", he agrees, exhaling loudly afterwards, "I'm so dead."

"Yeah same", you agree, sighing contently.

Yoongi hugs you tighter.

"Thank you for this. I'm always teasing, but I seriously love it when you’re horny. This was so much fun", he says.

"Yeah, I loved it too", you whisper, "I wanna wear my panties with your cum still inside by the way."

"Hot? What the hell you’re gonna make me hard again."

"You still are. I can feel it", you laugh, wiggling your hips and therefore moving your pussy around him.

Yoongi whines, "mercy baby, I’m just a weak man."

"Gosh Yoongi, you’re so cute", you giggle, lifting your head so you can finally kiss him.

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uter-us · 9 months

Text

"magic gender feelings"

hey yall! gonna clarify stuff abt this post

outside of and including radfems, there are many reasons a woman might not "feel" like a woman. a huuuuge notable one is that we live in a world where women are not valued the way men are and that is reflected in media and politics and interpersonal experiences and like every second ever. of course a woman or girl might not "feel" like the caricature, stereotype, or role that is thrust upon women. she might not feel the same way the rest of the word "feels" a woman should be. that is not "called being nonbinary," its just a normal reaction to misogyny

additionally, when radfems say they do not "feel" like a woman, its often heavy on the word feel, in that we simply are women and our womanhood is not tied to an internal ("magic gender") feeling. (fyi ik the "magic" part is j lighthearted and a joke, but the content of the message applies.) that is why i do not "feel" like a woman because i cannot "feel" something that is merely my reality. (i don't feel like i have curly hair, i just have curly hair.) most actual feelings i have regarding myself and my inner identity are merely aspects of my personality.

some comments:

(the person in the middle is being mean for no reason so ignore that)

i get the sentiment, and i can recognize that honestly in some ways it probably is much easier, but it's also not based in any material reality. and when denying (or just not completely understanding. im not attributing malice!) the subjugation an entire class of people face due to their sex, that is not a happy sparkly good vibe

i used to go by all pronouns and while never outwardly identified as "genderfluid" i heavily identified with it. and i do know that "vibe," and i cant describe the uniquely liberating experience it is to recognize that being a woman means nothing to my "vibe" or personality or anything like that.

i know the word "woman" takes on a lot, especially roles/stereotypes, but you don't ever have to reflect that in your actions. you can vibe with what makes you happy without attributing it to not being your observed sex. like you can legitimately do and be whatever you are doing while female and that qualifies as a woman!! theres nothing more to it!! its amazing!

when i hear radfems make the claim that "everyone would be nonbinary," it's more in the sentiment that no one 100% adheres entirely to the roles/expectations of man or woman, basically that to imply some people's "gender" or whatever IS binary is strange! not even the most tradwife or "alpha male" commits entirely to the role yk? not even they are 100% in either binary. it would be impossible, and every person inches out of these gendered expressions/performances/etc at LEAST from time to time (some more often than others, but it definitely is everybody)! so its just recognizing that sure there could be some "gender spectrum" but its far more real to acknowledge everyone is somewhere in the middle of these strict binaries than just a minor group of people. (at least that's my understanding of when radfems make that statement.)

lots of radfems used to be TRAs or trans-identified individuals-- even still have dysphoria-- and that contributed to their becoming radfems!! many radfems understand the pain of dysphoria, and their experience w medicalization and/or interpersonal experiences aid in their current understanding of gender ideology and what it means to be a woman. (also see below cuz i expand more on the other part, especially the last comment.)

the first comment i find so interesting because i think thats often the point. like often someone will claim they feel like a woman/man/nonbinary-person/etc or not, and are so sure of it. and because so much of this is dependent on the way you feel, one of the things that changed my mind abt gender ideology was j considering like, "how do i know this isnt the feeling of a woman? how do i know other women aren't experiencing this?" like even trans rights activists will state that not everyone "feels" being nonbinary the same way for example. so who's to say this feeling i feel is not also the feeling of a woman? yk? because chances are, theres a lot of other women feeling discomfort with their natal sex and perception/self-perception, and so much more!

so i'd ask anyone who says what the top comment says: if a woman is someone who feels like a woman, but you can't define or break down that feeling, how are you sure all of these women are feeling the same thing?

i consider myself a relatively patient person 99% of the time, but this is so aggravating! for anyone not in the loop, an egg is a term for someone who is trans but doesn't know it yet. hypocrisy is one of my greatest frustrations, cuz a huge TRA thing is that you can't tell other people if they are a man/woman/nonbinary-person/etc, and you always have to respect their identity, but apparently that doesn't apply now!!

its very invasive to push your own idea of what and who someone is onto them-- and no one can claim this "isn't pushing" when this individual has literally written (unsolicited) about a stranger's identity based off their own projections or preconceived ideas on what a woman should feel. and i get it, its the internet, people are gonna write whatever, but i have a right to be frustrated by it too!!

okay last one! if anyone knows where that post is or who made it, but basically i saw this post on here a while ago about how sometimes TRAs resemble some Christians. and the example was comparing something similar to the above circled comment, to an interaction between an atheist and a Christian thats something like. "I'm an atheist." "Oh, so you worship Satan?" and its like the idea that someone can't even consider outside of their view that their attempt to align you w it is entirely inaccurate, yk? like atheists don't worship Satan cuz they don't believe in him! and radfems/whoever don't have "a gender" cuz they don't believe in it (in the same sense tras do)!!

im sorry if i've come off super irritable writing this! i think im j frustrated for other reasons besides this, but i hope i don't come off especially unkind because i genuinly don't hold any hatred or discontentment w this person who made that tiktok, my point to this post is to clarify some of these comments because i see this idea all the time and when the radfem pov is misconstrued its much harder for TRAs to converse w us (cuz they arent really debating our ideas, but some other group w some other ideas). (i also dont speak for all radfems so keep that in mind too.) anyway if anyone disagrees/agrees or has corrections or needs clarification or anything feel free to reply!! :)

#radfem #radical feminist safe #sex based oppression #radblr #terfsafe #gender critical #terfblr #not j a reblog tag

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separatist-apologist · 2 months

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Hey MB<3 I just keep rereading your fics over and over and they hit everytime (like seriously they itch every scratch in my brain), but just wondering, do u have any elucien fics on your tbr rn, or recent ones that you recommend? I'm mostly looking for canon compliant bc that is crack to me but im not too picky, just looking for recs!

I ANSWERED THE WRONG ASK god kill me right now

You're so sweet. Sorry it took me so long to write this- I wanted to put together a good mix. I hope you like them- these are just one's I've read, there are more on @elucienweekofficials list of multi-chapter fics set in canon, too!

This is long so I put it beneath a cut. I tried to mix on-going fics with completed fics and not recommend the same ones I always do. If anyone finds this list helpful, be better than me and leave a review

I Believe The Word You're Looking For Is Friends by @kingofsummer93

Elain Archeron and Lucien Vanserra are haunted by ghosts of their past, unable to move forward, unsure where they belong.

Together they come to an agreement. He'll teach her everything he knows about Prythian. He'll take her anywhere she wants to go.

In return, maybe she can just stop slapping him so much.

All You Have Is Your Fire by @clockwork-ashes

'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' For the briefest of moments, Lucien wondered if his mate would know exactly when his heart’s steady rhythm came to a sudden stop.

Elain goes to the Autumn Court demanding an audience with the High Lord to save the mate she can barely stand to be in the same room with. She ends up having to stay much longer than she bargained for.

What If I Told You I'm Back by climbingmountains

Come one, come all, it's happening again…Elain and Azriel have been married for ten years. Koschei is defeated, their family is at peace. And if she feels a hollow ache of something every once in a while, that’s just the price one pays for love and duty.

Until she comes home one day to the news that her husband has a mating bond of his own.

OR: I listened to nothing but The Tortured Poets Department for over a month and had a lot of angst to release.

Mockingbird by @avabrynne

After Lucien reluctantly agrees to meet with Eris, he’s shocked when his brother reveals his biggest secret: he has eight-year-old twin daughters. Unwilling to entrust them to anyone else and with Beron's gaze on him more intense than ever, Eris has Lucien swear to protect the girls and take them with him.

When it becomes clear they can’t stay in the human lands even when glamoured to look human, Lucien turns to the Night Court. While it’s easier to handle outbursts of young magic there, Lucien needs help. Enter Elain, who bonded quickly with the twins after their arrival. On top of everything else, Lucien and Elain start to navigate their bond while also finding out a few more secrets, like who Lucien’s actual father is. It's an Autumn and Day Court family drama Elucien and ErisxOC fic!

ACOWAR (Eluciens edition) by @crazy-ache

One moment. All it takes is one singular moment to change the trajectory of fate. Following the events of Hybern, everything changes when Lucien instinctively grabs his mate—Elain Archeron—and brings her back to the Spring Court with Feyre and Tamlin.

In the midst of war and ruin, Elain and Lucien will have to face the bond that connects them together if they hope to survive the unintended consequences. To do so, they’ll have to prevail through games of deceit, powerful forces of magic, and deadly enemies. And hope their hearts survive the journey.

A retelling of A Court of Wings and Ruin (ACOWAR) and a Canon Divergent AU.

A Court of Ash and Sunlight by aturner1205

“I know you’d rather not get help from me. I know you’ve rejected our mating bond and I’ve accepted that. But I still want to make sure you’re safe.”

Her heart twisted in its cage, filling her whole body with icy tears that would not spill.

Tell him. He deserves to know the truth. Tell him.

And because this time the voice inside was hers, because it was strong and clear and right, she did.

“I haven’t rejected the mating bond with you, Lucien,” she said quietly, her chest pounding so loud she could hardly hear the words. “But I think I damaged it, because—because I’ve never felt it.”

The Scenic Route by @bonecarversbestie

Elain grows discontent with her role in the Night Court as she grapples with grief for her human life and powers that she does not fully understand. One evening she accidentally winnows to Lucien's doorstep and he agrees to take her back to Velaris via the scenic route.

Can I Be Close To You by @temperedink

Elain and Lucien have been feeling out their tentative new relationship for a while, and Elain is getting antsy about the slow pace she's set for them. But maybe it's time to take things to the next level.

Set a few years post-ACOSF.

Oceans Apart (Never) by angryramen

Living in the Day-Court with her mate seemed like a damning at first. But slowly Elain started to enjoy Lucien’s company. They conversed together in the Day-Court gardens and slowly became friends. He even promised to charter a ship to take her to the continent, somewhere she’d always wanted to go. But when the time comes to say goodbye…

The Heirs of Fall and Flame by arosebetweenthorns

Eris Vanserra has always been a complicated male. Born as the first son to a tyrant of a High Lord, he was raised on cruelty, learning never to reveal weaknesses. But as Eris' allegiances to his father's court are questioned, his loyalties forming with those across borders, he realises enemies in his own court - especially his father - may be too difficult for him to keep at bay, especially when he inadvertently sets his father's sights onto his youngest brother. Then there's Rhysand's Inner Circle to contend with - one particular shadowsinger that Eris can't seem to avoid... but does he even want to? --- Lucien Vanserra always thought his suffering at the Autumn Court's hands was behind him. But when his father shows a vested interest in him years after banishing him, it's clear he will have to fight to keep the fragile peace he's built himself. All Lucien wants is to be with Elain and begin a life of his own, but when Elain's life is threatened by his father, Lucien learns just how much he has to learn before life can truly begin.

This is a direct continuation of the events of ACOSF. Joint POV of Eris and Lucien.

A Court of Breaking by @aldbooks

A year after the events of A Breaking, Elain feels a tug on the bond and realizes her estranged mate is in danger. Lucien, now returned to the Night Court, wonders if he might have been too hasty in his decision to leave, and if there might still be a chance for him with his mate

Summer Heat by @zenkindoflove

Lucien nodded his head, looking for any cue that he was dismissed. “Got it. Keep everyone in line and try not to make an ass of myself in front of my mate. I’ll see what I can do.”

Summer Court is hosting the Summer Solstice Summit and the Night Court is sending their best emissaries to attend. It will be Elain's first time mingling in another court, and it's a good thing she has an expert guiding her: the mate she's been ignoring for the last two years.

Meanwhile, Eris has been sent to the summit to spy on Summer's developments. What he doesn't anticipate is entangling in a steamy, forbidden romance.

Post-ACOSF, Elucien, Eris x OC, Multi-chapter.

Healer In The Night by @infinitefolklore

Lucien has been away on the continent on a mission. No one has heard from him in over two months. Elain is worried. On a dark and stromy night, he shows up bloody on her doorstep. Elain nurses him back to health.

The Luck Of The Draw by @sad-scarred-sassy

Elain Archeron is determined to end her unwanted mating bond with Lucien Vanserra. She has resigned herself to a loveless life, convinced she will never be able to experience true love without the fabricated weight of an assigned mate.

Her plans take a sharp turn when her mate arrives with a proposition to accompany him on a mission to a foreign court. When no one else believes her capable of succeeding Elain decides to prove to herself and others that she is not as hopeless as everyone else thought.

Only this will mean she will have to face him, and with that all that she has sworn off, battling between not knowing where the mating bond's influence ends and where her true feelings begin.

#IGNORE THE OTHER ONE #elucien #pro elucien #ANYWAY- i tried to scoop up everyone who was on tumblr too but if i missed you let me know #SORRY I TAGGED EVERYONE TWICE #i will be steeped with anxiety about this for the next 10-15 business months

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blessed-pizza · 1 month

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This is pretty big post (for my standards at least), so if you're not interested in reading a schizophrenic ramble about time travel, then keep scrolling.

If you do however, well then sit tight and let me introduce you to:

Blessed Pizza's Schizophrenic Guide to Time Travel Shenanigans

(and how to not completely destroy the space-time continuum)

or BPSGtTTS for short.

So I've seen a lot of different styles and flavours of time travel and and I really wanted to somehow be able to sort them up in separate categories, that way I could make it easier to understand them. So I came up with a couple that i think contain most of the shenanigans I've seen.

alternate timelines/universes (AT)

changeable singular timeline (CST)

defined singular timeline (DST)

time loop (TL)

(if you know any more, please let me know. I'd love to hear about more wacky ways to do time travelling) (also, im not gonna refer to these with their full name, because that would be way to much typing, so I've put some abbreviations behind them)

The Alternate timelines/universes (aka the cowards way out)

The AT way of time travel is probably the simplest and the second most consequence free (I'll get back to that later) way to do time travel (and therefore also the most boring one in my opinion).

It's rather simple: Every time you travel in time and change something, it creates a new timeline. The changes made will effect everything in the time line you are currently in, but won't effect other timelines. This means that if you were to go back in time and kill your grandfather (or anyone anyone which you are a descendent of), you will not be effected! This, however, does mean that alternate-you won't be born in this timeline, buttt.... once again, that's not a problem for timetraveler-you, because timetraveler-you isn't from this timeline; so no paradoxes :) yet... With every travel through time you create a new branching timeline. This will eventually create a exponential tree like structure of alternate timelines. have fun keeping track of all of them :)

Let me just draw a quick time line so it's a bit easier to understand.

A possible way you could spice it up, is by allowing for the travel between these different timelines. What ever the implications for that are though... well, I think you'd kind of end up with weird hybrid of AT and CST, which could then result in some timelines effecting other timelines; possibly even destroying entire timelines and their off-chutes, what could in turn cause paradoxes to occur similar to those of CST and Oh! Hey, talking about CST; lets get into:

Changeable Singular Timelines (aka the one you probably think of first when thinking of time travel)

Unlike AT, whenever you time travel in CST, you stay in the same timeline. Meaning that any changes you make will effect you; possibly leading to paradoxes! Yippee!! A great example of a possible paradox that could occur, is the grandfather paradox. If we take same example from AT, the one where you go back in time and kill your grandfather, and apply it SCT, the change does effect you. So when you kill your grandfather, it means you couldn't have been born; thus being unable to travel back in time, which means you couldn't have killed your grandfather and thus will be born like normal. Though this then means that you can go back in time and kill your grandfather... aannd it results in a infinite loop; a paradox (now you also see why its called the grandfather paradox if you didn't know already).

Here's another quick sketch of the timeline.

(note: THESE ARE BOTH THE SAME TIMELINE, it just keeps changing into the other)

One way you could solve the paradox is by having the timeline "adapt" to the problem. So when you kill your grandpa and disappear, instead of creating a paradox, your grandpa stays dead. How did he die? Natural causes probably, some kind of disease or maybe even hit by a car. It doesn't matter, as long as he's dead, time will be fine again. Want a great example; look at this amazing post from @sincerely-sofie (it's also where I got the idea from)

There is another paradox that I've found, but I don't know if it has a name yet. So I'm just gonna call it the cotton-eye-joe paradox, because it makes me ask two things: one; where did it come from and two; where does it go. OK lets say you're in front of a locked door, but you don't have the key. So you search for it for a while and when you find it, you unlock the door. Then you decide to go back in time to give past-you the key to save them some time. Because it's a single timeline, it means that now you actually got your key from future-you. Great! You just created a never ending and never loop for that key. Where did that key come from? It can't be where it originally was, because you got it from future-you. Where did they get it? Well, from future-future-you of course! You see the problem? It's another paradox.

So just avoid these paradoxes right and then every thing will be fine, right? Yeahh, good luck with that. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? Even tiny, seemingly insignificantly small changes, can cause massive ones later in time, which in turn could lead to paradoxes, which are bad. So unless you somehow have the mental capacity and foresight to somehow oversee what all these changes will eventually even lead to without making them, you're gonna end up ruining time! My advise? DO NOT GO BACK IN TIME!!! unless you do want completely ruin the word as we know it, for some reason

Sooo..... how do you fix it make it less likely to break? Easy: just remove free will!

Defined Singular Timeline (aka the illusion of choice)

I wasn't sure if I should split CST and DST, because they are very similar. The one difference being that the timeline doesn't change when time travelling, because it was always about to happen. (I know this probably doesn't make any sense just bare with me for a bit. This is probably the most confusing of out of all of them) DST prevents the grandfather paradox from happening by making sure that changing the timeline isn't possible. That doesn't that your grandpa is immortal or something no no no, it just mean that if you would have killed your grandpa, it should have already happend. But you exist, so that means you're not going to kill your grandpa. I swear it's all gonna make sense, just uuhh... hold on let me get another example real quick. OK so imagine you're in a room and you get to the floor above through a hole, but you just can't reach the side of the hole to pull yourself up. Actually, you don't need to imagine, I'll draw it for you!

The good thing is; you can travel back in time, so you get the idea to go back and help yourself get up! Then suddenly a future-you shows up and tells you that you need to help him up. You help them up and then you travel back to past-you. You ask past-you to help you up and they do, allowing you to leave. (visual aid below)

What makes this different from CST? The fact that future you already showed up before you even went back in time. So you helping you was always gonna happen. Every version of you has experienced and will experience the exact same events. Everyone must experience the same events, otherwise its a not DST, but CST. Hold on, let me just quickly draw another timeline for you so its easier to see. hold on where did I put my markers... dammit... uhhhh... I guess this red pen will do...

As you can see it's all just you. This works just fine, no alternate timelines, no paradox, it just works, right? Well... Kind of? Its kind of complicated. The cotton-eye-joe paradox can still ocour, though it is less likely. The key example from CST could still be possible, but it has just always been in circulation; you always got the key from future-you. If you need a good example, there is this short film made by corridor that displays it really well.

Though all of these paradoxes and problems are annoying. What if we just had something without any of that? What if we had a form of time travel without any consequences? what if we could just try again if something goes wrong? That's right! IT'S TIME FOR

Time Loops (aka the road to insanity)

Remember when i said AT was the second most consequence free?Yup, TL's are why. In a time loop, time keeps resetting back to a certain point, but you remember everything. (and maybe a couple of other people) Every time you reach a certain point in time you get yanked back in time to do it aallll over again. Sounds nifty right! Messed something up last time? Try again this time! Didn't like the outcome of one of your actions? WHO CARES! Just go back! Didn't manage to break the cycle last time? Doesn't matter. You can try something else next time. And the loop after that. And the loop after that. And the loop after that. And the loop after that... You're stuck here for eternity... or at least what feels like a eternity. Time has no more context, the cycle has become all you know. How do you stay sane in these scenarios? Depends on how much mental fortitude you have, but you'll probably break eventually.

As for problems, there isn't really a lot to say. paradoxes don't really happen because time resets every time anyway. There are literally no consequences to your actions (until the cycle breaks). I don't even think i need to draw a timeline for this one. (it would literally be just a loop) However despite its seeming simplicity, I personally find it one of the most fun scenarios for time travel. I guess i just really like watching character reach their breaking point and see them go completely insane.

Anyway, this has been quite a long post. By far the longest I've ever made. Again, if you know of any more time shenanigans, please share them . I love to overthink these things. And thanks, once again, to @sincerely-sofie for encouraging me down this path of madness in the first place (and providing me with countless examples. like genuinely, you have made a post about like 90% of the stuff i rambled about)

#ITS DONE #I CAN FINALLY REST PROPPER!!!#time travel shenanigans #the BPSGtTTS

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year

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Lavender - Ch. 49

Things change in Jackson but the most important things stay the same. The final chapter of Lavender, found in its entirety on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut! No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 7.3k

Sunday, October, 4, 2026

“Hey Joel!” Suzanne, a woman who worked at the clinic with you, ran up to him as he made his way home after an overnight patrol. “Do you know where Doc is?”

“Think all my girls are at home,” he frowned a little. “Not sure, haven’t been there yet since gettin’ back but I’m heading there now… Everything OK?”

“Think we’ve got an appendicitis,” she winced as she said it. “If she’s home, can you send her our way? Save me the trouble of going to look at your place.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” Joel said. “I’ll see if I can track her down if she’s not there but it’s Sylvie’s nap time so can’t imagine she’d go far…”

Suzanne smiled gratefully and ran back into the clinic, her ponytail swinging.

Joel was eager to get home to you under any circumstance but even more so after doing an overnight patrol. He’d been away from you too long. He never slept well on patrol, never slept well if he was somewhere he couldn’t touch you, feel you breathing next to him. Whenever he got back, he usually spent five minutes just holding onto you, centering himself on you and the feeling of you in his arms again. But now you’d be running out the door right away. Even though he knew appendectomies were relatively easy and that you’d only be gone a few hours at the most, it was hard to not be a little frustrated by it.

“Hey Love,” you smiled when he came in, stretched out on the couch with a ribbon tied like a headband in your hair and his daughter asleep on your chest. “Didn’t want to risk moving her, both of your kids have been in rare form today…”

Sylvie, now 18 months old, shifted ever so slightly on her mother’s chest, her little features drawn in for a second - as if to prove a point - before relaxing. Her hair was getting long, her thick, dark curls a clone of her father. Her eyes were, too, when they were open. Joel knew them well. It seemed like he’d done nothing but stare at her for months after she was born, the combination of you and him something too beautiful to look away from.

It sometimes felt to Joel that there was some part of the universe that always wanted your child to exist. You got pregnant so fast. He couldn’t be sure but the timing of the day at the lake made sense, like the only thing stopping the creation of you and him together was the power of modern medicine. The moment there was nothing preventing it she sprang into being, all but inevitable.

Joel was surprised at just how much he loved seeing you pregnant. It hadn’t been something that he’d ever considered before now, not something he’d ever been drawn to before now. But looking at you, knowing you were growing his child, knowing your body was changing because of him somehow made you even more beautiful.

Lucky for him, your hormones made you practically insatiable - not that you’d ever had a low sex drive. But it went from sex most nights to sex every night, often twice, and once again in the morning if you woke up with enough time before needing to get yourselves or Ellie out the door. He loved finding new places on you to touch and hold, loved kissing your stomach over where you were growing his daughter, loved holding your swollen breasts as he sank into your tight heat from behind, always cumming deep inside you because it’s not like he could make you any more pregnant.

It took everything he had in him to not try to get you pregnant again. You’d told him, flat out, no. The pregnancy hadn’t been rough but it hadn’t been easy, either. You were tired but had a hard time sleeping, sensitive to all kinds of sights and smells, throwing up more days than you didn’t. It was easier, you said, than your first pregnancy, the one that was lost. But you were 20 years older now, everything was harder on your body now than it was then and the last thing he wanted to do was cause you any pain.

But seeing you be a mother to his children had a tight hold on him. Every time he was inside you he had to fight the urge to plant himself deep, resist the drive to give you another child of his to grow and raise with him. Logic didn’t matter when he was inside of you, all that mattered was you and the primal need to give you as much of him as you would take.

“Both of ‘em, huh?” He asked, coming over and pressing a deep kiss to your forehead and stroking your hair before sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

“Yup,” you smiled a little. “Sylvie has not been on board with eating anything but she’s been crying half the day because she’s hungry. Ellie got home about an hour ago and didn’t say a word before stomping upstairs. So yes, your daughters have been in a mood today.”

“Why are they my daughters when they’re actin’ up?” He asked, gently resting a hand on Sylvie’s back, feeling her little chest rise and fall with her sleepy breaths.

“Because that’s when they take after you most,” you smirked a little. “When they’re angels who have never done a damn thing wrong, they’re mine.”

He laughed once and went to scoop Sylvie off your chest and getting to his feet. You frowned.

“I’ve got this little troublemaker since she’s apparently mine today,” he said, his youngest daughter stirring and scrunching her face as she yawned, her plump lips immediately falling into a pout. She buried her face into Joel’s neck with a little whine. “And I’ll go up and check on the other one. They need you at the clinic, appendicitis.”

“In that case, I leave you to be the outnumbered one,” you said, getting up and stretching out your back as you did. Joel took a second to admire you, the added thickness to your hips and legs and softness to your stomach and fullness to your breasts after carrying his daughter somehow making you even more lovely. Before, he didn’t think you could get anymore beautiful. Of course you’d find a way to prove him wrong. You reached up to kiss him, smiling against his lips before brushing Sylvie’s hair back. “Think you can behave yourself for your father since I’m sure he’s tired and hungry after a long day out patrolling?”

She groaned and pushed her little face into his shoulder. He laughed.

“Not like I haven’t dealt with moody girls before,” he said. His heart, he found, hurt less when he thought of Sarah now. The fact that she wasn’t there was still something that was missing. An emptiness and an ache of loss where he knew there should only be fullness and light. But he saw so much of her in Ellie and Sylvie and you. It made it so he could think about her, remember her, without it consuming him. He could miss her and remember her without suffering her loss. “I’ve got this Baby, go save a life.”

You kissed his daughter’s chubby little hand and gave his arm a squeeze before leaving. He looked at Sylvie, her face still in his shoulder.

“Alright Baby Girl,” he said. “We’re gonna try puttin’ you down for 10 minutes so I can talk to your sister, let’s see how that goes…”

He carried her upstairs and set her gently in her crib. She stretched and yawned and pouted, her eyes closed - lashes so long they were splayed across her plump cheek - until Joel tucked a rag doll Ellie’d made her into her little grasp. She tugged it against herself and settled a bit and Joel all but tiptoed out of her room and down the hall to Ellie’s. He knocked gently on the door.

“What.” Her voice was sharp.

“It’s me,” he said. “Wonderin’ if you wanted to talk about somethin’.”

“No.”

He waited a second.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“Your house.”

He sighed. Why were teenagers so hard? He opened the door slowly and found her curled up on the bed, her eyes red and her arms crossed, her back to the mural.

“What’s goin’ on, Baby Girl?” He asked gently, coming and sitting beside her on the bed.

“I said I didn’t want to talk,” she snapped. “And I really don’t want to talk with you.”

“Well, I’m who ya got,” he shrugged. “So I’d like it if you did. Want to help you if I can.”

“You can’t help,” she glared at him. “You’ve done plenty.”

“Wish you’d tell me what you mean,” he frowned. “I’m at a loss here, Baby Girl.”

She sat up, crossing her legs and looking him in the eye.

“There’d be a cure right now if it wasn’t for you, wouldn’t there.” She didn’t ask it, she said it. A statement of fact. Joel’s stomach dropped.

“Where’d you get that idea?” He asked.

“That’s not an answer, Joel. Would there be a cure if it wasn’t for you?”

He sighed.

“Let’s talk about this when your mother…”

“No,” she shook her head. “No, she’s not my mom and you’re not my dad. You’re just some assholes who took away the one chance I had to make a fucking difference!”

That hurt, more than he’d have thought it would. It’s not like Ellie called you Mom and him Dad but it felt like she thought of him the way he thought of her. You’d both tried to help her see how important she was, how much she mattered, what a difference she made to the people around her every day. It hadn’t seemed to stick.

“This about Lucas?” He asked softly. She glared at him but he took that for a yes.

Her friend, Lucas, had been killed out on patrol a month earlier. Ripped apart by infected. It was tragic, the first loss on patrol in years. Lucas had been competent and likely kept the carnage from being worse, holding off a hoard long enough to get his patrol partners out alive. Ellie had been distant and sullen a lot since then.

You’d talked to Joel about it and the both of you figured she was mourning the loss of her friend. Neither of you thought it would be something like this.

“Baby Girl,” he said gently. “Why don’t we talk about this when Doc gets home? You can ask us whatever you want, we’ll answer you. OK?”

“Why, want to wait to get your stories straight?” She snapped.

“Not gonna lie to you,” he said. “We’ll tell you whatever you want. But she needs to be here for it, too. Not right for it to just be you’n me, OK?”

“Fine,” she snapped, curling up again. Sylvie started fussing in her room. He sighed and she just looked at him. “Go, I’m not allowed to talk to you until Doc’s here, anyway.”

He fought the urge to fight her on it and went and picked up his youngest daughter, instead.

You’d been right about Sylvie. She wasn’t in the mood for eating anything but kept giving her hungry cry, wailing too much to actually form words, instead toddling around inconsolably. Eventually, he broke into a jar of canned peaches and handed her a sticky slice, the syrupy juice from the jar dripping down her hands. She chewed it, hiccuping, her tear-streaked little face calming.

“You just wanted sugar,” he shook his head, smiling a little. “Should’ve known.”

He found himself glancing at the clock every few minutes, waiting for time to pass, waiting for you to get home. For the first time, he was almost dreading it. Because the conversation with Ellie had the potential to ruin everything. He wouldn’t know how to fix it if she hated him for it. Wouldn’t know what to do if she decided to leave because of it. You’d tried to tell him that you had to explain it when it happened but he’d convinced you to do what he thought was the right thing to do. He’d convinced you to all but lie.

If Ellie left because of it, would you leave, too? To stay with her? She would know it was Joel who wanted to hide it, she was anything but stupid. If she levied an ultimatum, would you leave him and take Sylvie with you? Would he deserve it if you did?

All things considered, you weren’t gone long, home well before you’d either start cooking or head over to the mess hall for dinner. He met you at the door, Sylvie on his hip.

“Hey,” you smiled, making your eyes go extra wide to get a little giggle out of your daughter. “She looks happier, I’m guessing you got her to eat something?”

“Broke into some of the canned peaches,” he said as you put your arms around him and Sylvie, stretching up for a kiss.

“Well if it works,” you said before you frowned. “What’s wrong? Something’s wrong…”

“Ellie wants to talk,” he said, holding you a little closer. “About Salt Lake City.”

You winced.

“Shit,” you dropped your forehead to his chest and took a deep breath. “Well, we knew it was coming eventually. Think Tommy can take Sylvie for the night so we can hash this all out and make sure we’re focused on Ellie?”

“Good plan,” he kissed the crown of your head and gave you a squeeze, some of his anxieties eased. You were here. Somehow, it was going to be OK.

Tommy, thankfully, was fine to take Sylvie and didn’t ask many questions after he saw the look on Joel’s face. Instead, he took his niece inside to play with Jake, his son, and Joel came home to find you and Ellie on the couch. You’d made tea and Ellie was rapping her fingers against the side of her chipped mug. She narrowed her eyes at Joel when he came in, her small body tucked into the corner of the couch, her legs crossed in front of her. Joel sat in the arm chair near your end of the couch. He couldn’t settle back into it. Instead, he sat on the edge of it, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him.

“OK Baby Girl,” he sighed, looking at her. “What do you want to know.”

“What happened?” She asked, staring him down. “With the Fireflies. What actually happened. You’ve never told me the truth about it but I need to know now. I can’t keep living with you fucking lying to me about it!”

“OK,” you said gently. “It’s OK…”

“No, it’s not OK,” she snapped. “And I’m tired of pretending like it is!”

“They were gonna kill you, Baby Girl,” Joel said, struggling to speak past the lump in his throat, the tightness in his chest.

“What?” Her eyes were a little wide. “No, Marlene said…”

“Marlene lied,” you said, your voice sharper than Joel was used to hearing. “Their doctor was purposely vague with me because he knew I wouldn’t go along with his plan…”

“What was the plan?” Ellie asked. “What did they need that would kill me?”

“Your brain,” Joel said. It hurt him to even think about it, to think back to those horrific minutes where he wasn’t sure if he’d get to her in time, where he thought he might have lost her forever. “They needed the Cordyceps that have been in you since you were born and they grow inside your brain…”

“You should have let them!” She cut him off, her eyes wide and teary. “Why would you stop them?”

“Ellie…” he began but she smacked her mug down on the coffee table with a loud thud.

“This was my one chance!” She looked between the two of you. “I could have actually done something! Been something, made a difference! My life would have mattered!”

“Your life matters just the way it is,” you said, tears in your eyes. “Ellie, you and Sylvie are the most important things in the world to us, nothing could matter more than you…”

“What about every other person in the fucking world?” She demanded. “What about…”

“The science was flawed,” you cut her off. “You were the only sample, to even test it would have killed you. Do you know how rarely something works right the first time in science? Basically never. Do you know how many combinations of things I had to try before my treatment worked in testing? Thousands, Ellie. They were going to kill you on the off chance he had it right and then when it didn’t work, what would be the point? That you got to die a noble death? That we lost you for nothing?

“I had notes from the treatment I developed and he wanted to wait to try anything with it until after he took the cordyceps from you,” you pressed on. “He could have said stop. He could have decided to exhaust every other option first and he didn’t. He was convinced he was right and that’s not a good way to conduct science, I couldn’t trust him to do this right. The other option wasn’t for you to save the world Ellie, not really. Yes, maybe it would have gotten there eventually but it was so far from a certain thing.”

“But…” she protested.

“You’re not a parent,” Joel said gently. “But would you have let them kill me or her for that? Or Sylvie? Would you have let them kill your little sister for somethin’ like that?”

Ellie just stared at her lap.

“So what happened?” She asked, her voice thick. “You said the place was attacked but it wasn’t, was it?”

Joel looked at you and you reached out your hand for him. He took it, holding onto you for dear life.

“They weren’t goin’ to listen, Baby Girl,” he said. “I did what I had to do to keep you safe.”

She nodded slowly.

“And that’s how Doc got shot,” she stated it again. “They were trying to protect themselves from you.”

“Yeah,” he said, your hand still tight in his own.

“How many people?” She asked quietly, looking up at the two of you. “How many people died there?”

He clenched his jaw for a moment before he was able to meet her eyes.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I… I was so focused on gettin’ you out, I just did whatever I had to do.”

“So you killed all those people,” she said. “Brought me here… and Doc, you just gave up? You never tried to do anything with all that shit you did? You just let people keep turning?”

“Ellie…” you went to reach for her but she flinched back.

“I can’t…” she shook her head. “I need to think… I’m going to stay with Dina for a bit.”

She got up and Joel did, too.

“Baby Girl,” he said but she shook her head.

“Lucas might still be alive if she’d just done something,” Ellie shook her head. “But she didn’t. Neither one of you did. And it’s all fucking because of me.”

She left and you were staring at the spot on the couch where she’d been.

“Baby,” he said cautiously. He didn’t like the look on your face. “I’ll go after her…”

“No,” you shook your head and wiped your eyes. “No, let her go. She deserves some space from me.”

You got up and went for the stairs.

“Baby…”

“I’m going to shower,” you said.

He watched you go, wishing he could find some way to fix it.

***

Tuesday, May 11, 2027

“Don’t like this,” Joel stood next to you, holding Sylvie, frowning. “It’s too dangerous…”

“I’ll be fine,” you put your palm in the middle of his chest and kissed him. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

He pulled you tight against him, his lips in your hair.

“Mama,” Sylvie grabbed your braid. “Can I go on the horsie?”

You smiled and brushed your daughter’s hair back. She looked so much like her father it made your heart ache.

“Not this time, Baby Girl,” you smiled. “But soon. Promise.”

“You ready?” Tommy rode up along side your horse.

“As I’ll ever be,” you gave him a tight smile before kissing Sylvie one more time and giving Joel a longing look. “I’ll be back soon. I will.”

“You’re not back by Labor Day I’ll come get you back,” he said, voice dark. “Make sure they fuckin’ know it.”

He kissed your forehead and you mounted your horse, heading with Tommy outside Jackson.

The day after Ellie left was your birthday and it was the worst it had been in years. You stayed in bed most of the day, Joel just holding you.

“She’s right,” you said as the sun went down, your husband’s fingers tracing up and down your arm. “I should have done something with it, I’ve just been letting people die by not doing something with it…”

Joel tried to talk you out of it but you were determined then. You pulled Tommy aside and talked him into tracking down old Firefly contacts he had, seeing if he could find Dr. Anderson. After making some carefully placed radio calls over a span of months - much to Maria’s chagrin - he found him, at a hospital in Boise.

“You’re not goin’,” Joel paced your kitchen, his arms crossed. “I don’t give a shit if you can save everyone on the goddamn planet, you’re not goin’.”

“Yes, I am,” you said, sitting at the table, voice calm. “I respect your opinion but you don’t get to make this decision for me.”

“What if somethin’ happens to you?” He asked, stopping in front of you. “You’re talkin’ about meetin’ up with a bunch of fuckin’ terrorists who already damn near killed you…”

“They need what’s in my head,” you said. “They won’t kill me.”

He knelt in front of you, almost the exact place he’d been when he’d proposed years earlier, and took your face in his hands, holding you gently.

“I can’t do this without you, Baby,” he said, his deep brown eyes soft and scared. “Don’t ask me to try’n live without you, I don’t want it…”

“I can’t live with myself if I don’t try,” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his. “Please, Joel. I have to do this. I have to.”

He made it obvious that he wasn’t a fan of the idea but he agreed to it, staying behind to take care of Sylvie and keep an eye on Ellie, who had started coming around again, more to see Joel than anything else. You hadn’t told her you were leaving or why. You didn’t want to get her hopes up in case something fell through or have her feel responsible for you choosing to go if something happened to you out there. But you left a note to her, Sylvie and Joel, just in case you didn’t make it home. Just to be safe.

“Been a while since just you’n me got into trouble,” Tommy said as the gates closed behind you. “Should be fun.”

“Whatever you say, Tommy the Commie,” you smirked.

“Jesus,” he sighed. “Been how long and you’re still on that? Gotta get a new schtick, Kid.”

You laughed. At least you got to go on this damned trip with one of your best friends.

The ride to Boise was uneventful and you made it in just five days. The Fireflies were about as happy to see you as you were to see them, holding the two of you at gunpoint as you rode up to the city. Tommy looked about as happy about it as Joel would be.

“Dr. Miller,” Dr. Anderson said when you came to the hospital, giving you a stiff nod. “Can’t say I ever thought I’d see you again.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” you said, standing up as straight as you could, jaw squared. “You tried to kill my daughter.”

“And you kept me from saving the world for mine,” he said. “So I think we’re even.”

The two of you struck up an uneasy working relationship, Tommy hovering like a body guard for the first week you were there but apparently trusting the Fireflies enough to not kill you for at least a few hours at a time.

You’d brought some vials of Ellie’s blood with you, taken by one of the nurses at the clinic under the guise of running a few standard tests when she was sick with the flu weeks before. It took some time, but you were able to narrow down what you thought at least stopped the progression of cordyceps in her, even if it wouldn’t go as far as making someone immune. By late July, you’d developed an emergency injectable you thought would work to halt the progress of the cordyceps. Dr. Anderson distributed it to the Fireflies who were most likely to encounter infected. Then, it was a waiting game.

It took three weeks to discover that it worked. A patrol was overwhelmed by infected and one man was bitten. They used the injectable at the bite and the spread stopped. He was rushed back to you and Dr. Anderson, where the two of you carefully extracted the cordyceps from his arm.

“It’s not a cure,” you said after the man had been monitored for four days with no sign of infection. “But we can stop new infections.”

“That’s a whole hell of a lot,” he nodded. “We can synthesize it, spread it. It’ll take a while but it’s a start. A start to getting our world back.”

You were excited, of course. Thrilled that your idea had worked, that you’d been able to help begin to stop the suffering caused by infected. But mostly, you wanted to get home. You missed Joel, you missed Sylvie, you missed Ellie. You missed your life with them. You and Tommy left for Jackson the next day.

The ride back to Jackson felt longer than the ride to Boise. Maybe it was because you were so ready to get home and because your husband and daughters felt so close but so far. By the time you got back, you all but jumped off your horse at the stables and ran home.

“Joel?” You called as you pulled open the front door. You heard something clatter to the sink in the kitchen and he appeared in the doorway.

“Baby,” he ran and grabbed you, clutching you close to him, almost knocking the air out of you. “Fuck, I’ve been so worried, I’ve missed you so much…”

He sounded like he was on the verge of tears as he held you to him, kissing every part of you he could reach.

“I missed you,” you held onto him, your fingers in his hair. “But we did it, Joel. We made something that can stop infection…”

“I’m so proud of you,” he pulled back from you enough that he could kiss you. “But I care much more about you bein’ back than anything about infected…”

You laughed at that. He went and got Sylvie from her seat in the kitchen, where she’d been coloring.

“Mama!” She started squirming when she saw you, stretching and reaching.

“Hi Baby Girl!” You took her from her father and tried to keep from crying. She was bigger now than you remembered, her hair longer. You held her to you and breathed her in, Joel pulling you both against him.

“They didn’t have…” Ellie said, coming in the front door. You twisted to see her and you heard something clatter to the floor. “Mom!”

She hurled herself at you, holding onto you tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” she was crying. “I didn’t…”

“No, Baby Girl,” you wrapped the arm not holding Sylvie around her and kissed her temple. “You were right, I should have done something with this so much sooner…”

“I’m just so glad you’re back,” she said, burying her face in your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I shouldn’t have said that shit, I’m so sorry…”

“Just keep calling me Mom and you can say just about anything else you want,” you said, voice wet. She laughed. “I love you, Ellie. So much.”

“Love you, too.”

October 5, 2029

The first time you heard a plane overhead, you instinctively ducked. The last time you’d heard that sound was the day of the outbreak, almost 25 years earlier, and a plane had almost come down on your head.

You were walking home from the clinic and you ran the rest of the way to your house.

“Joel!” You yelled the second you were in the door, but you didn’t have to go far to find him. He was sitting on the floor of your living room, playing with Sylvie.

“Baby?” He frowned, a doll in his large hands as Sylvie held the bottle and sat on his lap. “What’s goin’ on, everything OK?”

“There was a plane,” you said, breathless, eyes wide. “Overhead, outside. There’s a plane.”

“A plane?” He raised his eyebrows. “You’re sure?”

“Damn sure,” you said and then you laughed a little. “People are flying again. There was a fucking plane.”

That was when you got your idea. It was probably a damned stupid idea but it was an idea.

Maria and the rest of the council had been getting regular updates from the outside world since the drug had started being distributed. Things were changing, quickly.

Now that traveling was safer, people started moving a bit more freely. Caravans started first, then train lines opened. It didn’t take long for FEDRA to fall and be replaced with a government more closely resembling the former United States.

Now that there were planes running again, you imagined that meant things were stabilizing. And if things were stable - if people could travel across the country - maybe you could do the one thing you’d wanted to do since coming to Jackson: See if Andrew and Jess would join you.

You missed them and Elizabeth and Jonah fiercely. They were still young enough that they could have a childhood here, that they could learn and grow and lead something close to a normal life here.

Talking Maria and the council into it had been surprisingly simple. Jess’ psychology training would be a boon, adding more children to the community was welcome. And you got the impression that, after five years of treating the people here at the clinic, they wanted to do something for you. There was a train line that ran to Salt Lake City from Boston, and you radioed Andrew for the first time in almost five years.

“Holy shit!” He said when Abe got him and put him on the line. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again, I have so much to tell you…”

“I have a lot to tell you, too,” you said, trying not to cry at the sound of his voice. “But I wanted to ask… How attached are you and Jess to Boston? Feel like hopping on a train west and starting over? I promise, where I live? It’s worth it.”

They came out a few months later and you were there, back in Salt Lake City with Joel and extra horses, meeting them. It was the second time you’d been reunited with someone you loved on your birthday.

You recognized Elizabeth immediately as she jumped out of the carriage first, even though she was far taller now than she had been the last time you saw her. You had to stop yourself from crying. Jonah was next, then Jess, then Andrew.

“Hey!” You started running for them. Andrew saw you then, dropping his pack and running for you, the two of you slamming into each other so hard you were sure Joel heard the thud.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” he said as you clung to him. “Holy shit I missed you…”

“I missed you, too,” you said, choked up. “So much has happened and I kept wanting to tell you fucking everything and I couldn’t and it sucked!”

“Me too,” he laughed. “Me too.”

It took you five days to make it back to Jackson, giving you plenty of time to catch up. Things got worse in Boston after you left. FEDRA’s grip tightened, life becoming more and more locked down. Andrew and Jess did everything they could for their children, trying to give them a normal life but there was only so much they could really do for them. They’d been looking for a place to go when you’d radioed.

Andrew wasn’t shocked that you and Joel had ended up together. He was a little more surprised that you’d had a baby, though.

“I’m so happy for you,” he said, looking a little teary. “You deserve it. You have for so long but I’m so glad you finally got what you wanted.”

The house behind yours in Jackson was open and they moved in there. After giving them a few days to settle in, you invited them over for dinner and game night with the kids. There were so many people, your kitchen table had never seemed quite so small. You loved it.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you said, hugging Andrew goodbye as his family left for the short walk back home.

“Me too,” he said. “The codependency squad is back in the same place and all is right with the world.”

You laughed and the two of you watched as Lizzy twirled with Sylvie on your back deck, Ellie playing guitar perched on the steps, Jonah watching her, enraptured. Joel put his arm around your shoulders and you leaned your head against him as Jess slipped her hand into her husband’s.

“See you around?” He asked.

“Don’t think you’ve got another choice,” you smiled.

Sylvie went down easy that night, worn out from playing with her newfound cousins. You could still hear the quiet chords as Ellie practiced guitar in her room.

“Night Ellie,” you called as you went to close your bedroom door. “Don’t stay up too late, guitar down soon.”

“I’ll take it easy,” she called back. “Night Mom, night Dad.”

“Can’t say I ever thought I’d be hosting a game night for anyone,” Joel said as you both climbed in bed and turned out the light.

You laughed.

“Me either,” you said. “Crazy what five years can do.”

You snuggled up against him and he put his arm around you, kissing your cheek, working his way down to your jaw and then to your mouth.

“What do you think you’re doing there, Mr. Miller?” You teased, your arm going around his waist. He was softer and thicker there now, but you liked it. A sign of the fact that he wasn’t struggling anymore, proof that he was still here to grow old with you, raise your daughters with you.

“Gettin’ my hopes up, Mrs. Miller,” he said, voice low as his hand slipped below your tank top and found your breast, holding you gently, his thumb brushing your nipple.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to let you down,” you smiled against his mouth and he pressed you closer.

You hooked a leg over his hip and ground your aching core against his already hard length. It didn’t seem to matter that you were 50 years old now, that you’d first slept with him almost 30 years before, that he was there in your bed every night, you always seemed to want him and he always seemed to want you.

He slipped the straps of your tank top down and off, tugging the fabric to the top of your shorts before kissing down your throat to your bare chest. He kissed along the curve of you there, his lips and tongue and teeth brushing along the tender flesh until he sucked your nipple into his mouth and moaned around you, teasing you with his tongue. You groaned and instinctively rocked your hips against nothing, already desperate and needy for him. He moved to your other breast, giving in the same treatment as he held the first one in his large hand, gently rolling your peaked nipple between his thumb and finger.

“Joel,” you breathed, arching your back into him.

“Someone sounds needy,” he breathed, pressing his lips to your sternum and kissing down your stomach - still soft from when you’d carried Sylvie years before. Joel had never seemed to mind.

“I am,” you groaned as he tugged down your shorts and panties, taking the tank top with them, leaving you naked before him. “Fuck, I need you…”

“Can’t let you go unsatisfied now, can we?” He asked, spreading your legs and settling between them. He put your thighs over his shoulders and he teased his tongue along your seam, curling it around your already swollen clit. He hummed in approval.

“Taste fuckin’ delicious,” he said, licking you again. “Can’t believe this pussy is all mine…”

“All yours, Joel,” you groaned as he pressed his tongue into your aching entrance, making you gasp.

He ate you gently at first, his lips and tongue working with his fingers as they softly toyed with your clit. But your husband knew your body well, maybe better than you, and the second he could feel you starting to tighten around him, he was harsher, more eager. His beard scratched against your sensitive skin as he pressed his tongue deep, his nose against your clit as he swallowed up your wetness, two of his fingers hooking inside of you so that they plunged deep as his tongue pulled back, one always replacing the other so you got the delicious friction and push and pull without ever feeling empty.

“Joel,” you panted, your fingers winding in his hair, your hips rocking against his face. You felt the edges of his mouth pull up but he didn’t slow his pace, not even as you exploded around him, your grip on his hair tightening. He ate at you until your orgasm eased and you were left, pliant and gasping for breath, below him.

“That’s my girl,” he said, crawling up your body and wiping your slick on the back of his hand before he settled himself between your thighs. His thick, heavy length brushed against your dripping sex and he kissed you, tasting like toothpaste and your own cum. You looped your arms around his neck as he pressed just the head of himself into you, the stretch at your entrance delicious enough to make your back arch into him.

“I want you,” you breathed when he pulled back from your lips enough for you to speak. “Please…”

“Past wanting you,” he said, sliding himself into you inch by devastating inch. “Past needing you, too. Don’t think there’s a word for how much I want and need you, Baby…”

You whimpered below him as he sank into your body until he was fully within you, your channel feeling so full and stretched but so damn satisfied.

“Belong inside of you,” he leaned down to kiss your throat. “Made to be inside you…”

You wanted to say something back but could only moan as he started to move inside you, his thick cock dragging along your inner walls, his head catching on every ridge of you as he worked his length within you.

He started out faster and harder, your nails digging into his back, the air getting knocked out of you in little gasps with every snap of his hips. Your second orgasm was building fast and, when you began to tighten around him, he pressed as deep as he could reach, slowing is pace so you could feel every exquisite movement.

“You’re gettin’ close,” he panted, hips moving slow and steady, pressing yours down into the bed so firmly you wondered if you were going to have a bruise in the morning. You didn’t care. “Can feel it, you always get so goddamn tight right before, Baby, love feelin’ you like this…”

“Can’t help it,” you were keening below him, doing everything you could to take him deep. “You feel too good, Joel I can’t…”

“Cum for me,” his whole body was covering yours, every inch of him against or within you. “Need to feel you, Baby, need to feel this pussy - my pussy - cum on me…”

“Fuck!” You gasped as your walls fluttered around you and he let out a strangled moan as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“That’s it, Baby,” he sounded almost choked up, straining to hold off his own orgasm for another minute. “Doing so good for me, takin’ me so well, feelin’ so goddamn good…”

Your orgasm faded and he all put ripped himself from your body before pressing his cock head against your clit and spilling his seed over you there, his warm cum making your oversensitive, wrung-out nub throb.

“Fuck Baby,” he collapsed next to you for a moment before he reached into his bedside table and grabbed a clean washcloth, reaching between your legs to wipe away the combination of his spend and your slick. “How are you always that fuckin’ incredible?”

“If you were made for me then I was made for you,” you said, still catching your breath as you rolled to wrap around him. He pulled your naked body tightly to his own and dropped the washcloth on his nightstand, next to the candle you’d made the year before. It was lavender scented, made with oils taken from the plants you’d grown in your back yard. They came from the buds you’d taken from Bill and Frank’s when you first headed west. You’d made several of the candles, liking the fact that the smell helped reduce stress and anxiety. You, Joel and Ellie had seen enough of that in your lives.

Your mind drifted as you lay in your husband’s arms. You drifted through the past 30 years of your lives, the pain of deep loss, the profound connection to the people you’d come to love, the life you’d built with Joel in Jackson. You thought of your daughters that were here with you and the daughters you lost - Sarah and your unborn child. You’d started picturing her as a girl, always a girl. Joel, you were certain, was built for raising incredible girls. He’d done it with Sarah and now he was doing it with Ellie and Sylvie, too. He’d have done that with the baby you lost, too. You could feel it. That feeling hurt less now with Joel beside you.

You thought of Joel playing guitar in your living room, next to the pictures of Sarah and Tess and a sketch you’d made of Ellie and Sylvie. You thought of the way he called you and Ellie and Sylvie “his girls” as though you were everything that mattered to him. You thought of the way that, even as he’d fought to push you away for so long, you kept finding each other again and again because there was something inside of you both that was always reaching for the other. You were made for him and he was made for you. Of that, you were certain.

His lips found the top of your head, his hands splayed wide over your back as he held onto you.

“Love you, Baby,” he whispered in the dark. “More than anything. Always have, always will.”

“Always love you, Joel,” you whispered back. “Until the day I die.”

You drifted off to sleep in his arms, in your home with the family you’d built with the man you were always meant to find. He was yours, you were his and you were happy.

A/N: I can't believe it's over! I sincerely hope you are happy with where Joel, Doc and Ellie wound up in Jackson. They're finally all at a point where they can do more than survive, they can thrive together, just like they were always meant to.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you times a million for reading this story. Your kindness, love and support have meant so much as I've written this piece. I don't think it's possible to thank you enough for that, so I'll just say it again: Thank you.

If you've ever liked a chapter, commented, reblogged, anything at all, please know that I appreciate you. Every notification I got on this fic made me smile. You helped make this journey an absolute joy.

I did start a new fic, called Yearling. It's another TLOU Joel fic and you can find it here.

I'm not great at goodbyes so I'll just say this: See you around. I hope you'll join me on another adventure one day. Until then, take care of yourselves, spread some kindness and share love when you can. I love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi@candypeaches16@kittenlittle24@wrappedinfiction@oatmeaiboy@pedritosdarling@winchestergypsy90@imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1@mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes@pedrosaidsheispunk@commanderawkward@n7cje@elliesgirlll@tsunamistorm123@spookyxsam@leeeesahhh @anoverwhelmingdin @untamedheart81 @pedropascalfan221 @pedr0swh0r3 @pedrobae@fifia-writes@fatima-marisa @acf2023 @1soff@encephalitiskat @ashleymsnodgrass @karlinspace

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #lavender

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rs-hawk · 8 months

Note

Do you have any writing tips? Even if it’s not necessarily for smut?

I won’t be touching on tips for smut at all on this post but I can make a separate post for it if y’all want.

My Top 10 Writing Tips

Love all your characters. Yes, even your antagonists. Hell, especially your antagonists. Even if they’re evil for the sake of being evil, if you want a 3 dimensional character, you have to acknowledge that they’re more than just evil to someone. Their mother. Their friends. Their dog. You have to think of their motivations, and honestly?-acknowledge that every character you write has a part of you in them. Maybe just your anger, your fear, your trauma, but love them for that, and it’ll shape them and your works in ways you never thought of.

Don’t reread your work too often! It’s hard (so very very hard) but when you have to crank out 2k words a day every day of the month but 2 it gets easier. Lol. Fr though just keep chugging along. You can reread later. You can edit later. Just get it done.

Don’t edit too much while you’re still actively writing. I know that’s hard, I really do, but if you keep rewriting, you’ll never be able to finish. You’ll keep writing a handful of scenes over and over again until you hate it, your book and yourself for “giving up”. You can edit later.

Write for yourself. It doesn’t matter how good of a writer you are, how beautiful or eloquent your style, if you hate it with every fiber of your being, it’ll turn to dust in your hands. I consider writing work, and when people enjoy themselves at work, not only do they do better, but the consumer enjoys it more. Think about it. If you’re at a restaurant and the workers are laughing and smiling with each other and seem genuinely happy, you’re more likely to go back than if they’re miserable, on the verge of tears and seem to hate being there, right? The same is true for your writing. Readers will enjoy it more if they can feel how much you enjoyed creating it.

Don’t just write. Listen to music. Get up and go for a walk. Text/call a friend. Watch a TV show. Pet your cat. Experience something. It helps you write but it also reminds you that hey, you’ve been here like eight hours. Get something to drink. Take a screen break. Go outside.

Be comfortable while you write. I’m not going to lecture you on posture because I’m currently laying down with my legs drawn up under me, my upper body turned and my phone in the air because I’m trying to put enough pressure on my lower back to pop it. Anyway, even if you can’t stay in one position long, switch. Listen to your body. A “proper” posture can end up hurting you if you don’t ever relax or if you’re putting too much pressure on your lower spine. It’s okay to lean. It’s okay to lay down. It’s okay to sit cross-legged. Just not at the expense of your body. Be aware, and don’t forget to get up and stretch!

Take breaks. Eat. Drink. Stretch. Go to the bathroom. Some people need them scheduled, and that’s fine, but also listen to your body. If you need to use the toilet but you don’t have another break scheduled for an hour, just go. Pause your timer or delay your alarm if you want, but take care of yourself.

Don’t be too rigid with your “starting” plot. We know most of us have that one scene or one character in mind we want to write, so we create a plot around them. That’s fine and I love it, but your writing is like a living creature. You might change while writing it. Your characters and ideas might change while writing it. Let them change. Let you change! You can edit later.

Remember it’s not a race. Just because you see some people dropping 3 novels a year, or 5 Tumblr posts every day doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. No one can write what you write. No one can create what you can create. Your work deserves to exist and be judged on its own merit. Not compared to anyone else’s, even if it’s you five years ago who could crank out multiple posts daily. It’s okay.

Don’t expect anything. Start writing because you love it. It makes you happy. It itches that part of your brain that no other hobby does. That no other love does. I’ve been writing for about 15 years now. I don’t know who I am without it. I have tried giving it up, moving past it, doing other things, but I always come back. Nothing else makes me feel the way writing does. I have gone years without writing, but when I start writing again, it’s like a high. I can go for hours, and I have! I have been lucky to be able to monetize my work, but it took 10+ years and was only because I got goofy about werewolves on a PTR app. You can’t go into the arts and expect to make money right away, or ever. You can hope, and do your best, but don’t only do it because you think you’ll make a living. It’s a sad but real fact. Capitalism makes us think we should only do stuff we can make money off of, but that’s a lie. You can AND SHOULD create just to create. Humans are meant to make art, and if writing is your canvas like it is mine, write to create. Fuck capitalism. Your art existing is enough reason to create it.

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inbarfink · 5 months

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Okay, so I accidentally thought about Stage Productions of Dr. Horrible Where There’s Not Enough Male Actors So Billy is Played By a Woman too hard again. And the thing is, well, I say ‘Stage Productions of Dr. Horrible Where There’s Not Enough Male Actors So Billy is Played By a Woman’ and not, like, ‘Female!Billy Productions’ because in all of the ones I’ve seen the script is unchanged and so the character is still textually a man. Super-minor characters like the Mayor and the two Newscasters or even Bad Horse can sometimes get genderswapped, but usually the kind of people dedicated enough to DHSAB to want to create their own recreation of it don’t want to change the script too much. So Billy remains gendered the same way he is in the original.

But also… Dr. Horrible isn’t gendered that much in the text of the script. Like, he gets talked about in third-person way less often than the other two leads (so there’s less places where he would be called he/him/himself), he’s not referred to using gendered terms as often as the two other leads, ‘Billy’ can work as a gender-neutral name and ‘Dr. Horrible’ is 100% gender-neutral. As such, the only textual references to Dr. Horrible being a dude are:

Refers to himself as a guy in ‘My Freeze Ray’: ‘I’m the guy who makes it real/the feelings you don’t dare to feel’

Refers to himself as a man in the title line of ‘A Man’s Gotta Do’

Moist calls him a man in the line ‘look at me, Man, I’m Moist!’

Refers to himself as a guy in ‘Brand New Day’, ‘Go ahead and laugh/Yeah I’m a funny guy!’

The one time Dr. Horrible is called by a third person pronoun is during ‘So They Say’, when Moist notes that ‘he’s still not picking up’

During ‘Everything You Ever’, he sings ‘My victory’s complete/so hail to the king’. Implicitly calling himself a ‘king’.

So, like, what that means is that if a production did just want to genderswap Billy… it’ll be considerably easier than doing it with either of the other two leads. There’s basically just a few lines you have to change and basically nothing else.

Like, ‘I’m the gal who makes it real’ is really a no-brainer. ‘a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do’ is an Idiom and I could see a woman quoting it without it meaning anything. (And in a pinch you can replace it with the gender-neutral ‘one’s gotta do what one’s gotta do' or maybe 'I've gotta do what I've gotta do').

“He’s still not picking up” often gets cut from stage reworks of ‘So They Say’ anyways or swapped for something like ‘Doc’s still not picking up’ to make it clear who’s Moist talking to without the Magic the Kuleshov Effect Really. The only line that offers any meaningful challenge is in ‘Brand New Day’ and 'Everything You Ever' cause that use of ‘guy’ and 'king' is part of a rhyme, but I still feel like it’s not the toughest one to solve.

… of course, I keep saying the three main characters because Moist isn’t actually gendered once in the entire script. So basically every time a production gets a girl to play Moist that Moist has a Gender Quantum Position.

But, with all due respect to Moist and their Quantum Gender, that’s just not a change I find as interesting as the possibility of a Female Billy. Like, hey! We’ve got a second female character who is not primarily defined through her romantic relationships and survives through the end of the narrative and has a kind of a Gross Power you don’t really see for a female super-character, that’s… kinda neat. But I don’t really think there’s anything in here that really shakes the basic thematic undercurrents of the movie the way Female Billy does. Female Billy has a really the highest rate of Implied Changes to the Meaning of the Text Caused by the Change Vs. Actual Changes Required to the Text

Because, okay, look… Would making Dr. Horrible a woman fix every single thematic problem people have with the DHSAB Narrative forever and ever and make it the Politically Perfect-est Musical Ever? Nah. Does it arguably create its own set of problems with the whole Tragic Toxic Lesbian Trope? Yeah…

But that’s why I’m advocating for it not as some sort of Remake that’s gonna be the New Definitive Version That Fixes Everything, but as a stage production. A new version that exists in the Kaleidoscopic Multiverse of takes that the stage inherently creates. Not Ultimate, not Definitive, not ‘The’ version. Just A Version I think should exist. Because even if it’s not a change that’ll Fix Everything, it’s still gonna change things in a way I, personally, find very Compelling.

And I was thinking, as part of this train of thought, that if I were to do Lesbian Billy, that for Penny’s role, I would try and cast a girl with a very butch and/or nonconformist haircut. Cause, like, at the start, the one line Billy wants to tell Penny is

And that way you can connect it with how nonconformist hairstyles are used as a way to communicate queerness to other queer people with some plausible deniability from Mainstream Society. So it’s not just that it helps explain ‘oh, that’s why Billy even assumes her attraction could be mutual’, wanting to tell Penny that she loves her hair is a whole thing of

Or rather, because it’s Billy, more like

So that’s another layer of Added Thematic Meaning just via casting choices, without changing anything about the exact text of the script!

And, you know, charity, compassion and kindness are not Exclusively Feminine Traits. Penny could be kinda gender-nonconformist while also being innocent and maybe a bit naive. And, y’know, she’s a damsel in distress when compared to the characters who have super-strength and super-science at their disposal.

And then I thought, well, maybe we can also show Penny dressing more feminine during her time dating Captain Hammer, so there’s kind of an unspoken implication to the audience that maybe CH is pressuring her into being more gender-conformiming. Which isn’t just a New Way in Which Captain Hammer is terrible, it also connects with how he, as a superhero, functions as an upholder of the status que that Billy is trying to upends (and again, it makes ‘love your hair!’ an actually Really Important Line! It’s Billy showing that, even if her attraction right now is kinda shallow. She is appreciating something about Penny that is her choice and CH is probably trying to take away from her.)

And, like, even in readings of the DHSAB narrative that try and make it as critical of Billy as possible, you always kind hit a snug that there is also an unspoken but present assumption, that while Billy does kinda suck, he could’ve been a good romantic partner to Penny if he just Got Over His Shit and is still always better than Captain Hammer despite… not really doing a good job establishing why.

So this thread does give at least one clear reason for why Captain Hammer is absolutely worse for Penny than Billy is, without necessarily letting Billy off the hook for all the way she does still kinda Suck.

You know, since we’re talking about changing as little of the actual dialogue as possible, the audience might not be able to tell if Penny is an out-and-proud Bi woman and Captain Hammer is pressuring her to be less Obviously Queer or if she still hasn’t fully processed that her affinity towards gender-nonconformity is also somewhat connected to her sexuality and the whole debacle is her shoving herself deeper into the closet… but I think that if the audience notice Penny suddenly changing into girlier clothing after she starts getting close to Captain Hammer that’ll be enough to create a visceral “Oh, this guy is BAD” reaction of sort.

Plus, like, the way the narrative kinda treats Penny slowly sobering up to Captain Hammer’s bullshit and realizing she’s not actually in love with him

is treated as interchangeable with the process of her gradually falling in love with Billy

that would hit as less Weird, at least thematically, if we have that thread of Captain Hammer representing, like, Heteronormativity and the Patriarchy Billy and Penny both being girls....

And that’s when I came to realization

of what I was actually doing.

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chloecherrysip · 1 year

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all the pain will change into a memory of when we were amazing (mario & luigi-centric post-movie fic, part 1!)

(My weekend got a little busier than I was expecting, but I was still DETERMINED to get this up today and hey, I succeeded!!! I will eventually post an AO3 version as well, so if you'd like to wait for that, you can (and I will of course link it here), but sharing on tumblr is just a little easier for me to start out with. :)

Remember that this is just the first part and there will be at least two or three more coming soon!! Like I've already said in other posts, this fic has become SO LONG that it needs to be split up a little just for ease of reading. The title comes from the song Casey by Darren Hayes, which for the record, is a song about siblings and really fits movie!verse Mario & Luigi's relationship, in my eyes. Also, just so you know, this part (and only this part) has some Mario/Peach moments as well! I hope you enjoy!)

It took roughly eleven hours to put Brooklyn back together.

Not to how it was before, just to be clear. Not even close. Just enough that you could no longer tell right away that it had been subjected to a catastrophic tear between dimensions or alternate realities or whatever the two worlds were in relation to one another — who even knew? Instead, it looked more like it had suffered a few earthquakes in quick succession, or a hurricane closely followed by a tornado for good measure. Y’know, normal disasters.

It would no doubt require weeks of work to fix the cracked roads, replace all the crushed cars, reassemble the shopfronts enough to reopen and finally, finally get rid of all the black chunks of molten rock and huge mushroom stalks that were still being found in the strangest crevices and alleyways. But there was a lot to be extremely grateful for too. It was an outright miracle that Bowser’s airship had happened to crash down into the empty construction site mere minutes before the workers were scheduled to get started, somehow missing all occupied buildings. Everyone on the block was unhurt and accounted for, and they all still had a mostly-intact place to sleep that night. That, Mario reasoned, was more than good enough for now.

He’d jumped headfirst into helping with the emergency cleanup efforts as best he could, of course. It was the very least he could do after unintentionally causing the whole mess to begin with, and Luigi had jumped right in alongside him, ready to go. The star had worn off — even if Mario was still seeing glimmering afterimages of rainbows in the corners of his eyes every time he blinked — but it seemed like there were some lingering aftereffects. They felt better than ever, every injury down to the slightest bruise or cut completely healed, an overflow of joyful energy humming pleasantly all through his core. Mario guessed it was some kinda mixture of leftover magic and his own adrenaline and relief, which probably could have kept him going strong for a long time all on its own. They’d actually made it home. They’d seen their parents and family again. His brother was back within arm's reach, smiling and solidly warm and safe. How could he not feel like he was on top of the world?

So they’d spent the rest of the day working with neighbors to clear debris and shattered glass, move cars safely out of the way that were too crushed to move on their own any longer, nail up boards to cover gaps where windows once were. There were various damaged water fixtures and pipes that desperately needed some TLC before they came entirely undone and caused more damage (thankfully, Mario knew two talented plumbers who were more than up to the task). And of course, there was the not-so-small matter of rounding up all of Bowser’s minions and stuffing them back through the pipe before they snuck further into the city and started causing mass chaos. Most of that went smoothly, thankfully (other than one notable incident of some Koopas messing around at a bowling alley and accidentally getting stuck in the ball return). The magician in the blue robe, the one with the wand, had vanished entirely, though. Luigi had been the first one to notice, nervously mentioning that he’d seemed important, like a second-in-command to Bowser. Mario didn’t like that one bit, but Peach reassured him that they would stay vigilant.

Speaking of Peach, she’d taken charge of the chaotic situation right away, her leadership skills shining bright in a way that left Mario quietly in awe. She’d personally overseen Bowser’s transfer and imprisonment back in the Mushroom Kingdom while also coordinating efforts on both sides of the warp pipe, DK and Toad providing support as they all passed back and forth between worlds several times throughout the day, transporting as much of Bowser’s broken-up airship back to where it came from as possible. Toad Town was still a mess from the invasion as well, and many of the Toads who’d evacuated needed to be helped back from the forests. Mario had only spent a little time there, but thinking about such a lively, cheerful place in abandoned disarray troubled him. He considered going back for a little while to help out there too, just to make sure everyone got home safe.

But the familiar warp pipe loomed before them, and Luigi’s smile strained. Mario, hand lightly pressed to his brother’s back, registered the sudden, new tenseness, the way his breathing became shallower, despite his best efforts to not let it show. And there was Mario’s answer. He wouldn’t put Luigi through that again, not so soon, and if Luigi wasn’t going, Mario wasn’t going — end of story. The thought of being an entire world away from him after everything they’d just struggled through, even briefly, was too much to handle. All day, that uneasiness had hung around him, the one wrinkle in his light-as-air happiness and boundless energy. He hadn’t even liked Luigi being out of his sight for too long as they worked on the cleanup, which he fully knew was silly and unreasonable. That was why he'd never breathed a word of the feeling outload, even when the discomfort settled in heavily like a bad stomachache.

It'll get better once a little more time goes by, Mario kept insisting to himself with a sure, stubborn forcefulness. What's there to be worried about? We made it, both of us. We're together. Everything's gonna be okay. It really is.

“Don’t worry! We’ve got it all under control,” Peach reassured him. “I promise. The Kongs are helping, and so are the penguins from the Ice Kingdom. We’re going to work with them to rebuild their castle as well. On the bright side, I think our alliances will be much, much stronger after this mess.”

“Are ya sure?” Mario couldn’t help but press, interlacing his fingers tightly. “I dunno, I just feel like I need to do something. If it wasn’t for you, all of you, I wouldn’t have gotten to Luigi in time.”

“Oh, and like you didn’t do even more to help us?” She gave the brim of his cap a flick that was somehow both playful and graceful. “Mario, you and your brother stopped Bowser in his tracks. Both of our worlds are safe from him now because of you two. If anything, we owe you! Toad was already talking about organizing a parade, or giving you both a chest of gold coins!”

“What? No, no, who needs all that?” Mario insisted, his face flushing a little. “Besides, those coins won’t even fit in my wallet! There probably isn’t an exchange rate or anything here for ‘em. Just my luck.”

“I thought as much.” She placed a fingertip to her pursed lips, tapping lightly as she pondered. “What about a house?”

“A whole house!?” Mario nearly choked on the air. “For free?”

Peach gave him an odd look and a shrug, as though it was perfectly reasonable in her world to offer someone she’d just met a few days ago real estate with absolutely no strings attached. “Why not? You and Luigi are always going to be known as heroes in the Mushroom Kingdom, you do realize. It's the least we could do. But…” She thought in silence for a moment longer and then smiled, the curve of it a little heavier, more subdued. “A house doesn’t do much if no one will be living in it, huh?”

Mario considered that. Across the sewer room, the black of the warp pipe’s insides spread out behind Peach, vast and unending. “That’s…yeah, that’s true,” he said, his shoulders sinking a bit. “For now, don’t worry about doing anything for us, all right?” He swallowed around a strange, new lump in his throat. “Before anything else happens, I just really need to make sure my family’s all right.”

Peach nodded. “And I need to make sure mine is too,” she said, voice warm with understanding.

She shot a meaningful glance over Mario’s head, and he followed her gaze to where Toad and Luigi were sitting off to the side. Toad was excitedly talking, making big, bombastic gestures with his pan as though he was reenacting something. Luigi, for his part, looked a little bewildered but interested, following along as best as he could manage with lots of nodding. The strain in Mario’s chest eased.

“But you’ll both visit before too long, right?” Peach brought his attention back to her, her tone pointed. “There’s still plenty of beautiful places to see in our world. We barely scratched the surface! But we can start with a nice cup of tea in the castle, of course.”

Mario couldn’t help but smile widely. “Definitely,” he said. “And besides, I already made a promise to DK before he headed back. Me and my “stupid overalls” have to give him a rematch at some point. C’mon, how can I pass up a chance to kick his furry butt all over again?”

“And I want to come back and visit this world again too!” She added excitedly. “I want to know more about the bowling we saw, and video games, and — what did you call that one thing? A calzone? — and well, everything!”

Mario laughed outright. “Sure, come back anytime! Luigi and me know allll the best spots in Brooklyn like the backs of our hands. With us, you’ll never have a bad time, guaranteed.”

Some bright, delighted mischief flashed in Peach’s eyes. “And besides,” she said, “your mom said she would show me some of your baby pictures next time. I have to see that because I can’t imagine you without a mustache, honestly. It just doesn’t seem possible.”

Mario’s laughter got less boisterous and much more strained in a big hurry. “Right, right,” he said, voice cracking. “Gotta remember to, heh, burn some of those before then.”

“Don’t you dare!”

With more than a little reluctance, she waved over at Toad, signaling that it was time for them to say goodbye.

“I’ve got to get out of this wedding dress already,” she joked, holding up the skirt so Mario could clearly see all the tears and scorch-marks and dark staining, all intermingled with white and glittering pink. On the top, she was wearing a new, light pink “I LOVE NY” shirt from a cheap souvenir store; Luigi had actually been the one to get it for her, having noticed that she was spending a lot of time standing out in the sun with her shoulders uncovered. At some point along the way, she'd also tied up her blonde hair in a messy ponytail to keep it out of the way. “What a disaster, huh?”

Mario honestly thought that she looked beautiful. But there was no way he could say that, and he also didn’t want to agree because that sounded rude. Thankfully, he had only had a few more seconds of mounting internal panic left to go on that subject before Toad and Luigi came over.

“Your brother’s just as cool as you are, Mario!” Toad brightly announced out of the blue, which in turn made Luigi jolt and blush behind him. “But I should have guessed! You guys are the SUPER Mario Brothers, after all!”

“Hey, I coulda told you that a lot sooner!” Mario grabbed Luigi around the middle with one arm and squeezed tight, enough to make his brother wriggle with a hoarse, surprised laugh. “He’s always got my back!”

“Hey, hey, I’m flattered, but there’s no way I’m as cool as Mario,” Luigi insisted, grabbing and squeezing Mario right back, playfully poking at his stomach. “Are ya kidding? This is the best guy in the world, c’mon! No contest!”

"You c'mon! Who came up with using a manhole cover as a shield out of the blue, huh?”

Luigi blinked a few times and then ducked his head down with a big, bashful grin. “Okay, maybe that was me.”

“Exactly.” He smushed his brother’s cap, ruffling his hair underneath. “What were you guys talking about, anyway?”

“Ohohoho, wouldn’t you like to know,” Toad insisted right away with a thick air of secrecy. He mimed locking his mouth with a key and then tossing it away, winking in Luigi's direction. “No need to be jealous, Mario. I can have two best friends.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mario replied dryly.

“It was no big deal, r-really!” Luigi backed Toad up, a little too loudly. His eyes looked somewhat glassy, as though he was teetering on the verge of tears, but when Mario met his gaze full-on, worried all of a sudden, his brother smiled back, big and sincere and seemingly very happy. “We’re all good! Better than good! We’re great!”

Peach stepped forward, then. “You really made a difference when it counted most, Luigi,” she said warmly, taking one of his hands in her own and patting it. “Thank you again for that. I know you didn’t see the best our world has to offer, but I hope you’ll give us another chance soon enough.”

Luigi, having stiffened a little at her touch out of sheer surprise, relaxed again. “Of course, Peach — I mean, Princess Peach. Your highness? Ma’am!” He gave her a salute with the other hand, for some reason. “I, uh, definitely appreciate it.”

She let go of him and reached for Mario’s hand in turn. Out of the blue, he thought about kissing the back of it — she was a princess, right? Wasn’t that what people did in all the fairytale books? — but that was a silly idea, stupid enough to make the back of his neck burn from embarrassment. Instead, he simply held onto her tight for a long moment, reflecting her sweet smile back at her, his heart pleasantly fluttering.

Further down, Toad grabbed one of Mario’s legs and one of Luigi’s legs in both arms and hugged them fiercely at the same time, sniffling a little. They gave his head a few soft pats in return (and winced when he loudly blew his nose into their overalls).

“See you around, Mustache,” Peach said softly. She took a small step backwards towards the pipe but didn’t let go of him, their arms stretching out further. “And don’t forget what we talked about,” she added after a beat, delicate, maybe even the tiniest bit hopeful. “What I offered…it’s always on the table, if you ever do decide you want it.”

“I won’t forget,” he said in return, softer too. “Stay safe.”

She squeezed his hand one last time, and then she and Toad were gone. The warp pipe’s signature sound bounced off the impossibly high walls of the room they were in until it was just a tiny echo. Mario took a deep breath. He turned to find Luigi beaming at him, eyebrows raised high and wiggling a little at the ends.

"Shut up," he sighed.

“What!? I didn’t even say anything!” Luigi insisted, even as he continued to grin.

“Yes, you did. I can read your mind.” Even Mario’s sternest do NOT go there, I’m serious look could never do much when Luigi was ready to do some ruthless teasing, but he tried it anyway as they started to trudge towards the stairwell at a much slower pace then when they’d first come down it. When had he started to feel so tired? A big yawn fought its way up his throat before he could continue. “I just met her! We’re friends. That’s all there is to it, thank you and goodnight.”

“Look, you can't prove a thing, but if I was saying something, well, I'd start with the way she was looking at you.” Luigi whistled. Mario pulled down the brim of his cap, if only to hide the sudden warmth creeping into his face a little better. “She certainly seems like a princess with good taste, y’know?”

“All right, all right. Ya done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not! She’s already got a dress too, which is really convenient. After all, weddings are expensive—”

“Stop, Lu. You better not breathe a word of this back home! Cause you’re gonna get Ma and Dad all riled up too and then I’ll never hear the end of it."

“Are ya serious!? Oh, my poor, sweet, naïve Mario. They already smelled the blood in the water at least five hours back. They were talking about little blonde grandkids when you were in the bathroom and everything.”

At least the long trek ahead of them out of the sewers would give Mario time for his face to cool down to a normal temperature again. “Great, great, just what I need,” he grumbled. “Now I gotta find a princess for you to get the heat off me.”

“W-What!?” Luigi sputtered. “I mean, I wish. But a kingdom only has one princess, right? And you’re the lucky guy.”

“There wasn’t just one kingdom,” Mario mused. He was climbing the stairs by then, metal clanging with each step. “I betcha all the money I have that if I went looking around long enough over there, I could find a real cute royal out there who has a thing for the color green.”

He reached behind him to give Luigi’s shoulder a playful shove, only for his hand to meet nothing but air. Turning fully, he saw that his brother was moving a lot slower than he’d expected. He was still at the bottom of the stairs, clinging to the railing and blinking furiously, his gaze focused on nothing in particular.

“Luigi?” Mario asked hesitantly. “You good?”

Luigi perked up at that and gave a thumbs-up. “A-okay!” He chirped, starting to climb. “I just — whew. I’m a little, uh, dizzy. It feels like that crazy star hung around for a while, eh? Like, we weren’t super-powered anymore, but nothing hurt, and I still had tons of energy to do whatever I wanted. But now…”

“Yeah, I’m definitely feeling that too.” Mario realized it more clearly, his breathing already labored after only climbing one flight of stairs. The injuries weren’t back, thankfully, but he was aching all over, a new heaviness creeping into his bones more and more. Luigi was hurrying to catch up with him, moving unsteadily.

“Just go slow,” Mario called. “We’re not in a hurry. Be careful.”

It didn’t seem like Luigi heard him, still trying to talk as he climbed, huffing and puffing. “I mean, wow! We were running all over the place! We were fixing things! We were saving Brooklyn! But…huh. Something’s kinda weird.” His voice had dropped down into a mumble, so quiet and fast that Mario almost couldn’t understand him. “I’m having that pins-and-needles feeling, like my legs are asleep, but I’m still walking just fine. Right? Do I look normal walking? Be honest. I…I can’t tell.” He looked sleepy, and then he suddenly looked frightened, unfocused, as though he wasn’t even sure where he was at all. “Wait. Am I upside down? Mario…”

It happened so fast. With one last shuddery breath, Luigi’s eyes rolled back into his head. He started to fall backwards, about to topple down a nearly full flight of stairs.

Mario’s heart seized. “Luigi!”

He covered several steps in one desperate jump. Somehow, he managed to get one arm around his brother and pull him back with every last scrap of strength he had left, crushing their bodies together. The other arm, he wrenched over and around the railing blindly, worn metal scratching and squeaking against him painfully as he struggled to hold onto it. For a long, agonizing moment, the fight against gravity seemed like it was going to be too much to overcome, and Mario, teeth gritted, mentally prepared himself to turn them around in the air so he would take the brunt of the long fall. But miraculously, his shoes found enough purchase on the steps, and his aching grip lasted just long enough for Mario to pull their combined weight back in the other direction. The two collapsed in a heap against the ascending stairs instead.

Mario’s gasping breaths seemed like the only sound in the world, the echoes bouncing wildly all around.

“Luigi,” he finally managed to wheeze — quiet at first, then again, much louder. As gently and carefully as he could manage, he scooted up into a sitting position and turned his brother over onto his back, cradling him. He was still out cold. Mario patted his face. “Hey, Luigi. Come on, Lu, wake up for me, all right? I’m here. I’ve gotcha.” He patted a little harder, steadfastly ignoring the way his hands were trembling at that point. Every second passing with no change stretched on, an eternity and then some. “You’re all right, everything’s all right. Come on, Luigi, snap out of it…”

Up close, Luigi looked extremely pale, sweat beaded along the line of his cap. How had Mario not noticed that before? He’d been too caught up with all the cleanup efforts, too distracted by Peach and Toad and the thought of that hypothetical house. How could he not see that Luigi was starting to struggle? What kind of brother was he?

The kind that does something really, REALLY stupid because of pride or "destiny" or whatever you wanna call it. The kind that not only drags his brother down with him to do the stupid thing, but almost gets him killed because of it.

Mario's shoulders sagged. He gripped Luigi tighter, pressing his little brother's face close to the crook of his neck, if only to try and desperately ground himself in the knowledge that he could feel him breathing still, at least. Their injuries were gone, it was true, but for Mario, it was suddenly like the star had just shifted the pain around instead. He could feel it pressing up from under his skin, a deep well that was ready to split him open all the way through if he let it.

It no longer seemed like he'd just been in a magical world on a whirlwind adventure, or that he'd defeated a spiked turtle monster with anger issues and saved Brooklyn in a glorious, technicolor blur. Now, he was just a small, ordinary man in a dark sewer room underground, exhausted and terrified and unable to help the person he loved most.

All of a sudden, Luigi jolted under his hands. “Noooo more flambé for me, thankyouverymuch, I’m-a good!” He shouted, the words slurred together to the point of being nearly unintelligible. With a handful of slow, very confused blinks, he finally managed to focus on Mario’s extremely relieved face overhead. “Waaaaaaait. Whuh happen?”

Mario bundled up all those sharp, aching feelings behind a new wall and regathered himself. No matter what, he was going to stay strong, stay in control. He needed to do that for Luigi’s sake. There was no other choice. “You went down like a big sack of bricks, ya lug,” he tried to joke, even as his voice cracked badly on the last word. “Nearly gave me a heart attack! Are you okay?”

Luigi considered this information, eyes unclouding bit by bit. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, soft, a little embarrassed. “Y-Yeah, I think I’m good. I, uh, don’t really know what happened there! It was like…it all just hit me at once, I guess.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Mario worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “When’s the last time you slept, bro?”

Discomfort crept into Luigi’s expression at that. He looked away from Mario, not able to meet his gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. “Well, I dunno if I — I was wandering around for a while, and then I couldn’t really sleep in that cage, y’know? All that lava made the metal real hot, so I had to keep moving to not get burned, and you have no idea how hard it is to nod off when there’s a creepy star laughing its head — body? — head off in the next cage over, and, and...well, I’m sure I got an hour here and there,” he scoffed lightheartedly, waving off the thought with a wobbly sweep of his hand through the air. “Nothing worse than those all-nighters in high school!”

“You almost had a nervous breakdown because of those all-nighters,” Mario said. His grip on Luigi’s shoulder tightened, fingers winding snug in the green material. “And…what about food? Water? We’ve been go-go-go all day. I didn’t even think about…”

A brand-new sense of dawning horror came over Mario, sudden enough that he trailed off. He couldn't remember them ever taking a break, even sitting down in the shade for a few minutes. There'd just been so much to do, so many people in need of help, and the two of them had felt so good, laughing and joking and keeping up with no problems whatsoever. The time had flown by. But now...

“Pfft, who needs it?” Luigi said, extremely casually and extremely unconvincingly. He coughed, closing his eyes again for a long moment, resting his cheek sleepily against Mario’s chest. “Hmm. A guard gave me some sips a couple of times? And there was some weird bread. I think it was bread. Who even knows? It was stale like croutons. Not like the really good garlic ones Ma makes, though. These were like…like erasers or something. Blech.”

A few sips of water and some "bread." A couple of hours of sleep, if that. Luigi was on his own, scared and struggling and eventually imprisoned in a maniac’s floating lava airship, for over two full days.

“Well, no wonder you passed out,” Mario sighed, rough and very quiet. He had to talk like that — any louder, and his voice was going to become too unwieldy. It already felt like someone had promptly stuffed his heart into a blender and cranked it up to the highest setting. “Speaking of Ma, she’s probably got a full spread out by now. I’m gonna get you home, you’re gonna eat until you pop, and,” he had to pause for a moment to swallow, his throat hurting, “and then you’re gonna sleep until you can’t anymore, okay? That’s what we’re doing.”

Luigi sighed too, his smile resurfacing. “Man, that sounds like heaven. What are we waiting for?” He started to sit up with newfound determination, only for the dizzying sight of the stairs descending down into the dark beneath them to make his motions distinctly more rubbery again in a hurry. He sunk back into Mario’s arms, breathing faster, eyes closed again.

“Just, uh, one more minute," he half-wheezed. "Nothing to worry about, I’m getting up right now, I swear, but…is it just me or is it really, really hot down here? Those burns I had, they’re all gone, which is great, but I can still kindaaaa feel them? Is that a medical thing? Or am I freaking out? Because, heh, it’s starting to feel like I might be freaking out, and not to toot my own horn but some might consider me an expert when it comes to the signs of freaking out—”

“Just breathe, Lu,” Mario interjected, gently but firmly, the way he always did when Luigi got lost in a thought process that wasn’t going to lead him anywhere good in a hurry. “We can wait as long as ya need. No rush at all.”

Mario pressed back the brim of Luigi’s cap so he could brush his hairline soothingly, wipe away the sweat. He leaned down, gathering Luigi close enough to bump their foreheads together so they could breathe in slow, deep unison. He’d done that little motion to Luigi their whole lives, an unspoken shorthand that only they understood. When his little brother was scared or anxious, touching foreheads was a way to make the world smaller, less overwhelming, if only for a few seconds. It was an easy way to say: who cares about any of that? Focus on me instead. It’s just the two of us. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.

(And he’d tried, hadn’t he? He tried, and he hadn’t been good enough this time, when it mattered most. Luigi had suffered because he couldn’t hold on tightly enough. Because he hadn’t fought harder, been smarter, pushed to move faster throughout every part of the trip. And at the end when he’d finally found his brother? It had just been dumb luck, really. He’d squinted up at all the cages at the right time through the haze of the lava heat, breathless from the climb and still half-focused on trying to stay in the air without plummeting, and he’d seen his brother fall, and his body had just reacted without any thought, desperation and adrenaline screaming in his veins, the only word in his head echoing out as faster, faster, FASTER. And if one little thing had gone differently — if he hadn’t found that specific powerup, if he hadn’t figured out how to use it properly, if he'd been looking anywhere else, if he’d misjudged the speed or simply missed his grab entirely — then that would have been it, and it would have been all his fault. The sight felt seared into Mario’s head, something he could see whether his eyes were open or closed. He saw Luigi tumbling in the air, terrified and yelling and out of control, hurtling towards the lava at full speed. Only this time, he couldn’t reach him, he couldn’t move at all, he could only watch helplessly and in horror as he—)

“Mario?” Luigi asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

Mario jolted back into the moment. He was breathing too hard, too fast; a tremor ran through him, bone-deep. Luigi was holding one of his arms, his eyes big and shining with newfound worry.

Mario smiled reassuringly for him, as easy and unthinking as a reflex. He took Luigi’s hand and wedged his fingers through his with a tight squeeze, resolving not to let go again until they were safely at home. That awful drowning feeling was rippling all through him, but he could keep his head above it if he focused hard enough, if he refused to let it sneak up on him again. He could do that. He would do that, no matter what it took.

With a slew of careful, slow-going movements, the two brothers finally stood up together on the stairs.

“Don’t worry about me,” Mario said, and turned to lead the way. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here."

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #super mario bros #mario and luigi #mareach #super mario bros movie #cherrysip fic #super mario bros movie spoilers #a succinct summary of this part: things are going great! and then things are going not so great :(#this feels very derivative of other people's fics but hey that's what happens when you take over a month to delve into your own #post-movie scenario - everyone's done most of the common things before lololol. I GOTTA JUST BE OKAY WITH THAT #anyway much MUCH more to come as soon as i can make it happen! thank you for reading - i appreciate you all!#(also i always hate having to say it but please do not tag this as ship!!! just don't!!!)

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ravenloop · 2 years

Note

Hey! Love your writings! Would love to see you write something for Sindri, Tyr, Thor and/or heimdall with a giantess reader who is taller than the boys (feel free to change any of the boys or lower the amount by picking your favs!)

Headcanons: Sindri, Tyr and Heimdall with a giantess S/O

AN: WOOOOOO I LOVE TALL GIRLS STUFF! Also I did a lotta stuff for Thor recently so i decided to leave him out of this one. Hope you dont mind :)

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Sindri:

Considering he's a dwarf, Sindri isn't ever really surprised when he sees someone taller than him. That also applied for when he first met you.

You were a giant so of course you would be taller than him, it was expected.

But man, he never actually thought that he'd ever date a giant!

He gets very shy and flustered around you, even more than he normally is when you're not there. Brok teases him about it a lot and he somehow gets even less composed.

You tease him a lot about how much taller than him you are, those times Sindri likes to retort. It's all fun and games of course, just loving bickers.

He builds a bed in his treehouse home that can accommodate your size, just so you don't have to sleep all cramped or uncomfortable in the smaller beds.

Though Sindri ends up sleeping in it more than you do cause DAMN it's comfy as hell to sleep on something big enough to be your house.

You both take naps together and he knows that he's never leaving until you wake up cause you always trap him in you're limbs that are way heavier than he ever will be. Sindri could just use his dwarven teleportation ability but why would he?

Whenever he wants to kiss you he taps on your leg/thigh in a silent request for you to kneel down. Sometimes you just pick him up and kiss him which both scares and oddly arouses him.

What can he say? He's a sucker for a tall lady. And that lady happens to be you.

Týr:

From the moment you both met, Týr knew you two would become good friends.

He was right, you definitely became friends and a lot more.

It had been so long since Týr met another giant of his size - or someone around his size.

You were definitely taller than him which he didn't mind, he was just happy that he didn't have to worry about spraining his neck to look down at you.

Kissing you is also a relief! You're a bit taller but still the perfect kissing height. Sometimes you even catch Týr off-guard by grabbing him and pulling the god into a kiss - but he isn't complaining. Not one bit.

You tease him about being taller. Týr is a good sport though and only gives a hearty chuckle. He isn't phased by your teasing and knows it's just your nature.

Both of you share giant problems with one another as well. There just isn't enough things in the nine realms made with Jötnar in thought.

It's also easier for the two of you to have a passionate time in bed. I will not elaborate further.

You also spoon him in bed because you're bigger, and its very strange at first for Týr but he gets used to it quickly.

Týr also shares his stories from when he traveled to other lands with you, most of his stories he also talks about how he met other giants.

Overall, it's a very loving, happy and teasing relationship, all the teasing comes from you.

Heimdall:

Oh gods, how did this relationship even start is the real question.

Heimdall absolutely despises the Jötnar, all of the Aesir did. So how you of all people managed to become his partner baffles both of you.

Even when you start dating he's still snarky and rude to you.

And if you tease him about being shorter than you... Oh may the nine realms unite to help you because the gods certainly won't.

He calls you things like, "Long stuff" "Sky high" and just "Mountain." You have no idea if it's out of spite or love but you like to think it's a bit of both.

You're too tall for most chairs and Heimdall finds it hilarious seeing you sit with your knees to your chest. After a while you started sitting on the floor at tables, Heimdall's sad about it.

Sparring with you is an amusing and somewhat terrifying experience. All Heimdall sees is a tall, shadowy figure coming at him. Foresight of course helps him avoid you but that doesn't make it any less frightening. Not that he'd admit he's scared.

He doesn't kiss you in public and only does it when you're sitting down in your shared room, it makes him feel a little taller that way. Plus it means he doesn't have to ask you to bend, that would just mean accepting you're taller.

You also mess with him by pretending he's too far to hear so you have to bend down. It annoys him to no end but you find the way his face gets red too cute to stop.

It won't seem like it at first but he is in love with you. The way he acts in private tells you that, and you also love your Irritable little man.

#god of war #god of war ragnarök #god of war x reader #gow x reader #heimdall x reader #gow heimdall x reader #gow Heimdall #gow sindri #sindri x reader #gow Sindri x reader #gow Týr #gow Týr x reader #Týr x reader #reader insert

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wildemaven · 1 year

Text

The Beginning: The Proposal

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

WC: 3528

Warnings: language, established relationship, 2nd POV, mentions of food and drinks, im going to refrain from any other things to not give anything away, but it’s all fluff

A/N: It’s here!! I’m excited and nervous!! Happy to give these to a little more love and a little bit more backstory to them. Normally I have a full blown moodboard (and I do) but it would give away too much so I’m opting to not have one but if you’re interested in seeing it, I can post it in like a separate “spoilers below” post. Also, reader’s nickname is revealed in this, so any future posts will have it when referring to her (so much easier to when trying to avoid a name). And last but not least, their song picked by y’all is Lover by T.Swift and there’s a playlist linked below.

Edited to add a big thank you to @noisynaia for letting scream at her my thoughts!!!

Okay. I hope you like it. And if you ever want to scream about these two with me, my ask box is always open.

Previous / Series Masterlist / The Proposal Playlist / Weekends Masterlist

Sometimes the beauty of life is allowing it happen organically.

Delicate bits of time woven together through fleeting moments— in varying degrees of inconsequential or life changing events.

Momentous is how you would describe your life in a single word at this very moment in time.

The last 6 months had been a whirlwind for you and Frankie. Since that night you’d both not only confessed your love to each other, but also deciding to spend the rest of time together.

You’d convinced your landlord to let you out if your lease early, due to you being a exemplary tenant for several years. With the help of Frankie and the guys, you were able to box up your things and move into Frankie’s house across town.

It had taken a few weeks to unpack your life into this new space, but you felt a sense of accomplishment once everything had a place and mixed in effortlessly with Frankie’s belongings.

You’d both decided early on to keep your engagement to yourselves— a secret for the two of you to savor and enjoy.

Not that you were worried about what others might think, but this felt like a special kind of thing you wanted to bask in before sharing with your loved ones.

And when the time was right, everyone would know.

Your schedules had been booked and busy, so you’d both decided to take a random Friday off to spend some extra time together. You were excited to have a 3 day weekend, alone with your fiancé. Which also meant sleeping in as late as you wanted and taking your leisure time to extricate yourself from your cozy lush surroundings.

The bed dips a bit as you turn and stretch out your slow waking form.

“Time to get up sleepy head.” His voice is still your favorite part of waking up. The soft cadence tickles every inch of your body, better than any cup of coffee ever could.

“You let me sleep in, thank you.”

“You looked comfy all wrapped up, figured you could use a few more hours.”

He kisses you, it’s sweet and laced with a hint of bitterness from his morning coffee.

“Mmm! Good morning handsome.”

“Mornin’ Beautiful. There’s a coffee and a danish on the nightstand for you.” You shoot him a questioning look, amusingly taken aback and confused. “Don’t look at me like that. They were all out of croissants this morning, so I went with your second favorite.”

You accept the offer, rolling on to your stomach to reach for your coffee. You get lost in the first sip and savor its creamy rich flavor as it hits every waiting taste bud.

“Alright sleeping beauty. Time to get your ass outta bed and get ready.” Giving your backside a few pats before heading for the bedroom door. “Our appointment is at 3 and then dinner reservations are at 6. Gonna go iron my shirt and clean up my shoes.”

“Hey!” Playfully yelling for his attention as he walks away.

He stops just outside the door, turning back towards you.

“I love you.” He serious expression relaxes and his face lighting up instantly.

“I love you too.” He shoots you a wink before turning to carry on.

It takes you a minute to get yourself up and moving. Bites of your delicious danish and sips of your warm latte aid in your efforts to get yourself ready.

Your mundane routine of showering and prepping for the day were taken at a deliberate pace. Enjoying the balmy spray of the water, soothing the slight aches and pains that had built up over the last week, the feeling of relief is almost instant.

Toweling yourself off and slipping on your cozy rob, you finish readying yourself with a simple makeup look— nothing too fancy or bold, just enough to accentuate your most favorite features.

The garment bag containing your dress for the day was tucked away in the back of your closet. You were so excited to finally get to wear it and eager to see the look on Frankie’s face when he sees you in it.

It was muted in coloring, an off shade of white, it wasn’t anything you’d ever considered for yourself but the moment you’d tried it on there was an instant reaction of sorts. It’s silky smooth fabric hugged your body in such a way that you couldn’t help but feel like it was made for you.

Jewelry and shoes finished off the look, taking yourself in fully as you stand in front of your full length mirror. You hands smoothing over the dress, admiring every detail of your reflection.

“You look stunning.”

Your eyes immediately drawn to Frankie in the mirror leaning against the door frame.

Your breath catches at the sight of him. His head cocked to the side as he admires you, hands tucked into his pant pockets, suit jacket hugging his broad shoulders over his freshly ironed shirt— the top buttons forgotten about in true Frankie fashion.

He pushes himself off the doorframe, taking a few long strides until he is crowding behind your spot in front of the mirror.

His eye contact is direct, holding an intensity that makes you dizzy. Your body tingles when his large hands slowly rest on your shoulders, his thumbs toying at the delicate straps of your dress.

“Frankie…” His name floats over your lips as you look at him with an ardent smile.

His eyes never stop watching you as he leans down pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder, your eyelids flutter as the sensation of his lips ripples through your body.

Your hand comes up to caress the side of his face, his beard trimmed down, the stubble causing a bit of resistance to your touch.

You can’t help the tiny moan that escapes from your throat as Frankie begins to press kiss after kiss along your neck, tilting your head to completely give into to his wandering mouth.

“If you don’t stop, we’re never going to be on time.” Your breathless, knowing that it’s a slippery slop of carnal desire once things start to heat up.

He kisses you one last time before standing to his full height.

“You look so pretty.”

“Pretty?” His eyebrow raises at your comment, not he doesn’t think a man can be pretty, he’s just never saw himself as such.

You turn so you’re fully facing him, hands resting on his chest as you look at him with a sweet gaze. “Yes, pretty. And your hair looks good too.” Your fingers lightly combs through the sides just purely for the experience of touching him some more.

“You think so??” You nod softly and lean into kiss him gently.

“Let’s go handsome.”

It was a 45 minute drive, which gave you both plenty of time to enjoy each other’s company. Chats about work and plans for the next few months permeated the truck cabin. 70’s ballads filled the in between silence, but usually evoking laughter from you as Frankie would do his best to stay in tune with the music.

This was now a regular feature in both of your lives. These days spent together, relishing each and every moment, were your favorite. Weekends alone or with friends had you craving adventure as much as possible. But even the slow paced weekends, at home had become a cherished time for the both of you, wanting to absorb each and every moment before the work week was knocking at the door.

The large building towers over the street as Frankie pulls into the parking spot. Its florid design was beautiful for a giant cement building, the front covered in windows and ornate decorative details that are reminiscent of older times.

The weather is warm and sunny as you make your way to the building, Frankie’s grasp on your hand is grounding, giving it a few subtle squeezes as you walk through the glass doors.

The air inside feels cold and stale as you wait for the next available window, very on brand for such a building. A slight shiver has Frankie pulling you in to him, wrapping you in his warmth.

“Next!”

“Good afternoon ma’am. We have an appointment, should be under Morales.”

She doesn’t respond as she clicks away at her keyboard, squinting at her computer screen through her wide-rim glasses.

“Do you have all your proper documentation with you today?” Straight to the point and zero enthusiasm in her tone.

“Uh, yes ma’am.” Frankie hands her the small stack of papers she had asked for. You squeeze his hand now, 3 times as a silent ‘I love you’.

“It’s says here Mr. Morales you’re previously divorced. Do you have proof of dissolution? Otherwise you may not proceed with your application.” She asks as she continues to hold the papers that she hasn’t looked at yet, not even looking away from the screen.

“Yes. It’s in the with the other papers. It was an amicable dissolution, we both signed and agreed to end the marriage—“

“I don’t need your life story sir, just the proper paperwork.”

“Right. Sorry, ma’am.” 3 more squeezes to his sweaty hand, thankful that Frankie is handling her crankiness so calmly and with a smile. She clearly has been doing this for years and has zero intention of small talk.

Her fingers continue to click more buttons and she scans through the papers, inputting the information into the proper boxes. And after what feels like a long process, she’s printing out some new documents, stacking them with the ones you’d given her and hands them back to Frankie.

“Please wait for your name to be called.” Barely making eye contact as she adjusts herself in her chair.

“Thank you ma’am. Have a great weekend.”

“Mhmm. Next!”

“Clearly your charming good looks had no effect on her.” You snicker into Frankie’s shoulder as you both walk to the sitting area, trying to keep your comment contained between the two of you.

The minutes tick by, the space is eerily quiet, so you keep talking to a minimum while you wait.

The other chairs are filled with what look like other couples, all most likely there for the same reason.

You take in the sweet older couple who sits across from you. They must be in their 80’s and yet they have a young innocence that seems to envelop them. Their hands anchoring them to each other as they sit snuggled in sweetly. You can’t make out their conversation, but the way she is smiling and looking at him, it feels like she completely taken by him as has been for awhile. He pats her fragile little hands as he talks and every few minutes he looks at her like she’s the only one in the room— your heart nearly implodes at the gentle kiss he gives her forehead.

It’s like you’re looking at a glimpse of your future. A love so authentic and undying, strong enough to endure hardships, a vivid and passionate life together that never gets tiring.

The soft whisper of your name catches your attention.

“You okay?” 3 gentle squeezes to your hand, the reciprocated gesture tugging at your heart.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just happy to be here with you.” You smile emphasizing your words.

“Alight, we have Morales up next! Please make your way through these doors and the commissioner is waiting for you up at the front.”

Entering the room, you’re welcomed by a lady standing behind a wooden podium— she’s already more inviting than the older one at the front desk.

Frankie’s hand is anchored to your lower back as you both make your way closer to her. Frankie hands her the papers she’s needs and you both wait for her to begin.

“Welcome. I have a few more couples after you so let’s get started. Do you have any witnesses with you today?”

“No ma’am we do not.”

“Okay, that’s fine, not a requirement in the state of Florida. And will you be exchanging rings today?”

“No ma’am, we do not have rings.”

“Well, this might just be the easiest one today.” She laughs a bit as she shuffled her papers around a bit.

“I’m going to ask you both to face each other while I read the declaration of intent.”

You can feel the emotions already flowing through you, as you look at Frankie. This man has gifted you with so much in such a short amount of time and you can’t help but feel so grateful for this life you’re about to begin.

“Please join hands.”

Frankie takes yours in his, his is touch is the most powerful thing you have ever felt.

“Francisco, do you take—“ There’s an pang in your chest as she says your name, but it’s not a heavy feeling, it’s light and airy as she continues reading from her paper. “To be your lawful wedded partner?”

“I do.”

His thumb sweeps back and forth across the top of your hand, his smile is beaming with elation.

“… do you take Francisco to be your lawful wedding partner?”

“I do.” There’s a slight crack when you say it, emotion fully overtaking your voice.

“… you have come here today on your own free will and declared your love for one and other.”

Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you look back at Frankie, your whole body feels like it’s floating on a blissful cloud. He wipes each tear and gently rubs your cheekbone, you lean into his touch.

“You have joined yourselves in matrimony. May you aim all your lives to meet this commitment and celebrate

in each other's company. And now that you have given and pledged your love and have stated so by joining

hands, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of Florida as Deputy Marriage Commissioner, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.”

And you do. It’s unlike any kiss you have ever experienced before. It’s all-encompassing and heart-stopping, pouring out all the love you have for one another— his lips feel like forever.

Wedded bliss is intoxicating. An indescribable feeling of starting this new chapter together and looking forward to a future where it’s the two of you steadfast in your fidelity and aspirations.

Driving straight from the courthouse, you’d both felt slightly over dressed at your favorite restaurant, it’s casual setting a stark contrast from your wedding attire. In the short time together, you’d both become regulars, dining in or takeout had become a weekly occurrence.

Frankie had made the reservation and must have mentioned it was a special occasion because the table is nestled in a corner that was secluded from the rest of the restaurant. Lit candles and small arrangement of flowers placed in the center.

You couldn’t have imagined a more perfect post wedding celebration. Indulging in your favorite dishes as you reflect on the day, it all still feeling surreal and fresh. The staff also gifting a slice of cake, a little congratulations on your new marriage.

“How long should we keep it from them? Santi’s going to be pissed when he finds out. I can already see that assholes face.”

You laugh because you know he’s right, but you know he’ll be happy for you both, they all will.

“How about we wait a month. Then we can invite everyone over for dinner, the weather’s been nice too, so maybe we pull out the bbq even and we tell them then. I mean, we made it 6 months engaged and none of them had a single clue. I like the thought of this being between us for a little bit.”

“That sounds like a great plan.” He leans over and looks at you with an almost devilish smirk. “Now, let’s get home so I can get you out of that fucking dress.”

“Mr. Morales, you have quiet the mouth on you.” You tease amusingly.

“Well Mrs. Morales, this mouth also has plans for you this evening.” His tone hushed as he spoke, a wink to seal his response.

You close the space between you, feeling his plush lips against yours. “Then take me home soldier.” Your tongue peeking out, the softest lick to his lips before pulling away and settling back into your chair.

“Can we get the check?!”

It was dark by the time Frankie pull the truck into the drive way. The stars like little fireflies lighting the sky and the moon silently vigilant as it settles in for the night.

“Did we leave a light on before we left?” Unbuckling yourself and noticing a faint light illuminating the front room, a slight panic creeping in your eyes.

“Hmm, I thought we turned them all off. Go head on in and check it out, I’m gonna lock up the truck and grab the leftovers.”

Thankfully the door is secured and you don’t see any sign of a break-in or anything out of place, relief washing over you.

Stepping through the threshold into the house you’re met with an unexpected sight. Dozens of white roses on every surface surround the open room, the floor draped in a sea of white petals. Bouquets covering the kitchen island where small candles are lit, the glow you saw from the window, more bouquets as you look into the living room.

You’re completely speechless and in awe of the beauty of the room and you’re so confused trying to figure out where they all came from. Clearly someone did break in? But decorated with flowers and locked up after they left…

Footsteps through the doorway bring your attention back to your surroundings, their presence stopping behind you.

“Frankie? What are all these flowers doing here?”

He doesn’t respond, but you can sense that he’s there. Pulling your eyes away from the flowers you turn to face Frankie, except he’s not level with you when you do so.

There before you is Frankie, your husband, kneeling on one knee looking up at you holding a small box in his hands.

“Frankie?” A wave of shock and elation crash over you in a matter of seconds. “What are you doing?”

“Hermosa… I know you said you didn’t need some big extravagant proposal and seeing as how we just got married just a few hours ago 6 months after meeting, we definitely don’t follow traditions.” His voice is so soft, and his eyes have never looked brighter.

“This is me promising you a future, a life where you are not alone. From the moment I met you, I knew I wanted to be apart of your life in some capacity and I wanted to make you smile everyday because it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Everyday I wake and think of you and when I sleep I think of you, you consume me with your laughter and your words of encouragement and your ability to live without abandonment.” You gasp as he slowly opens the small box revealing a ring. The design is simple and elegant, a beautiful stone setting with a unique design on a wider gold band.

“Te amo Hermosa. Will you be mine forever?”

You can’t stop the tears that are pouring down your face, you can’t even properly form any words as you nod your head reaching out for him, standing to his full height, placing the ring on your finger.

“I just need to double check that was a yes?”

“Yes! A million times yes!” You laugh through the still streaming tears, swatting at his chest as you look down at your hand, the ring sitting perfectly on your finger.

“How did you manage to get this all set up? It’s beautiful by the way.”

“I enlisted Hannah to help.”

“Hannah knows?!”

“No. No she doesn’t know what it was for exactly. I just said I wanted to surprise you after a dinner with flowers, I didn’t realize she was going to go all out. Remind me to check my credit card later.”

You kiss him, soaking in the moment with him. “I love you Frankie.” You whisper against his lips before you begin kissing him again.

“Wait, there’s one more thing.” He states as he pulls out his phone. “I also had Hannah show me how to use my phone with the speaker, something about blue teeth?”

It takes him a minute to get it connected, but he manages to get it hooked up. Music begins to play, it’s a softer song and you realize it’s one of your favorites. You’ve played it numerous times over the last few months, claiming that the song remind you of yours and Frankie’s love for each other.

“Can I have this dance?” Tossing his phone to the couch and holding his hand out to you.

“Always.”

The song played on as you both held each other, the soft sway of your bodies around the room. The flicker of the candles still adding a touch of light, laughter and kisses exchanged as he spins you about.

This was only the beginning.

#frankie morales x you #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales x fem!reader #frankie morales x reader #Frankie morales #Pedro pascal #weekends with frankie #wildemaven writes

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