#but hey anon if my autistic ass is reading into your message right

[freehologramreview]

i saw your tags on the post about the palestinian child. Muslim faith describes a "final abode of the righteous", Jannah (paradise). so... there's that

Dont know exactly what post you mean, but I have a good idea of it.

Yeah I try, especially on other ppls posts, to not let my own skepticism about a potential afterlife show because a) I don't wanna try and dash the hope of others believing in life after death and b) it's my own pessimism and there's no way I could even factually disprove it even IF I wanted to.

Essentially, my own feelings dont really matter to me as much because these people deserve a kind afterlife so much I want to will it into being.

Dont rlly know where I'm going with this but hey, thanks for the info! Even tho it would be much better for them to Not have died horribly it's nice to know they can still get the paradise they deserve :')

[thegamingcatmom]

helloo again! it’s the same asker as last time (the pee ask!)

i just wrote/sent a follow up ask but i don’t think it actually sent!😭 ‘cause tumblr is dumb! grrr! so im writing it out again! but if it magically did send then you can just ignore this ask haha!

so i was messaging to say i’m sorry if my ask came across as really blunt to you because i really didn’t mean for it to sound that way. but when i just read it back again along with your nice reply, i realized my ask sounded kinda super blunt and could maybe read as sorta… judgey?? like maybe it came across like i was gonna kinkshame or something?

but i promise that wasn’t the case at all!! i definitely would never kinkshame anyone ever!! and i didn’t mean to sound blunt. it’s just that i’m autistic and sometimes when i communicate over written message i sound blunt in a negative way even though i don’t mean to. i struggle with sometimes coming across as rude in messages when i am asking questions, even though i don’t mean to, when in reality i’m getting straight to the point in my message because i’m excited to be asking a question about something.😅

i actually sent that ask about the piss kink because im into omorashi (or omo for short) which is like getting turned on by the feeling of needing to pee/having a full bladder and also wetting (or getting turned on by seeing someone else needing to pee/making someone else hold their full bladder and seeing someone else wetting it making someone else wet themselves etc).

so seeing it show up in most of your ellie posts just made me wonder if that sorta thing was something you yourself were personally into (‘cause obviously lots of writers put their own sexual interests in their writing) or if it was something you thought maggot momma herself would be into.😊

Hey again, pee-anon!

I actually didn´t receive any other ask from you (cause Tumblr is, indeed, pretty stoopid sometimes) so it´s a good thing you´ve sent it again. 😜

No need to apologize at all, really. I didn´t think it was rude or judgey or anything like that. I simply took it for what it was - an ask about a piss kink lol. Also, it´s only natural to be curious about certain things, especially if you feel like you can identify with it in some way. It also shows me that my posts evoke some sort of reaction at least, so I´m happy to answer any question someone might have, really. 😊

(Unless you decide to be nasty af about it because in that case - you can just f right off and Imma send Maggot Momma after your sorry ass.)

As I´ve stated before, I myself don´t see it as a kink. More as a bit of a lighter moment in between all the madness and blood and guts and gore galore that´s going on in this (cursed) building.

Now, would Maggot Momma be into it? Considering I see her as a rather animalistic being with primal instincts in general (such as dry humping you into oblivion) I think she could be into it. But not in an overly sexual way, more like

I´m in the middle of something here (that something being you) and I cba about your worries rn (or ever) because your smell and if you gotta be like that - all dramatic as per usual- then she´s just gonna make herself a bit heavier on purpose and squish you a bit more all while never taking her eyes off you and basically daring you to do it because it would also show her the absolute power she has over you and-

...Okay yeah, I can see why Maggot Momma might be into it after all lmao.

Now I might have to write a little something about it because now I wanna see it play out, whoopsie.

I´m in the middle of writing yet another mommy kink post (you can thank mommy-kink-anon for that) but Imma keep your ask in mind for sure, so stay tuned!

[kimageddon]

Hey I wanted to thank you for your comments on the long thread about Phee/Tech and neurodivergence, etc. You managed to put into words what I couldn't about posts of that nature and why they were bothering me; I've mostly just blocked them rather than try to articulate what didn't sit right. Neurodivergence is a large spectrum and I think it's easy for everyone to assume a given ND character's experiences must align with theirs, rather than acknowledging it's going to work for some of us and not others, and that's all part of being a large, diverse group of people whose life experience at the hands of neurotypical society is going to be radically variant.

Hello Anon!

Thank you kindly for such a lovely message! I am very glad that I was able to say something. You may regret sending this, because I am jumping back on my soapbox.

I'm gonna talk about Autism, ND, mental health as it relates to Tech and the Bad Batch.

This is gonna be another long one:

For clarification, if anyone needs it, my message in the aforementioned thread was to offer a different perspective as the arguments did not make sense to me. I wanted to talk about the show and not about the people having the opinions.

I wanna clarify that my comments in regard to Autism being different was not to dismiss the experiences of anyone ND but to specify that while perhaps you(anyone reading this) would find the comment "it's called a conversation" upsetting (I know I would if it were said to me!).

However I do not think Tech would.

My reasoning is this:

Autism is treated differently in men and women and men (generally speaking) are not pressured to mask as much. (They still are, but not to the level of women from everything my research tells me.)

That being said, Tech has not really had to do that from the evidence I have seen. He Info dumps, interjects, and pretty much acts with confidence throughout the time we see him. Why would he need to mask? He was created to be a well of information and his brothers more or less accept him as he is.

To the argument that Phee somehow controls or manipulates or otherwise pushes her self on Tech in any manner.

I think that is ridiculous.

Firstly, she is gentle and kind when she speaks to him, if a little sassy. Nothing Tech hasn't encountered before from his brothers, or even dished out himself.

Hunter's introduction to us of Tech is: "He can fill your head with useless info for hours."

Which is probably the most dismissive thing said to him in the time we get to know him, but that just doesn't bother him.

In relation to this, people saying things like this are at risk of infantalising him. Which is a major problem within the Autistic and ND community.

Secondly. Tech is a grown ass man (weird clone aging aside). If he didn't like Phee or something she says, he can walk away, and I believe he would. He doesn't appear to feel the societal pressures, he's a soldier and doesn't get civilian etiquette so why would he follow it and stand around her just to be polite?

"Since when have we ever followed orders?"

We aren't children.

We might think differently and process differently, but we are people. We're not poor widdle babies that don't understand our feelings. We don't need protecting from the world and people that wanna treat Tech that way are doing he and the Autistic people that identify with him a massive disservice.

Finally, I wanted to clarify the part of my message that seemed to be the most controversial.

If something is so deeply upsetting that it affects your mental health detrimentally perhaps you need to look at your life and disengage from said thing.

From what I gather, some people have interpreted this to mean : just don't watch the Bad Batch. or "it's just a stupid show why do you care?"

This is not what I mean.

Of course care about it, get engaged with the characters and the story and let it make you feel things.

What this message means is:

If something -- whether it be a piece of media, a person/relationship, a social platform --

Is so deeply upsetting that it effects your mental health detrimentally -- if you have trouble sleeping or thinking about anything else or fall into depressive states (not depression generally speaking but because of the something specifically) and you cannot function at your usual level --

Perhaps you need to look at your life -- true happiness comes from within (i'll get to this in a sec) --

And disengage with said thing -- take a break, take a breath, drink water, have a snack. Let your emotions process and let yourself relax, then you can go back to it (provided of course it's not a toxic situation.) --

I realise this is far easier said than done, and it would take a significant amount of introspection, but I use this in multiple situations, not just here.

The TL:DR version; go touch grass, you'll feel better.

Alright, we've strayed a little from the point

Finally: Ship and let ship.

If you don't like Phee because you prefer to write Tech as not liking anyone but y/n or your OC -- go for it! That's totally valid! (They did it with Anakin so why not?) Besides, there were only a few interactions and it was a budding closeness, it's not like Tech was getting married to her!

But if you wanna make excuses that you only like the actress when she's not a direct romantic threat to your blorbo or do some mental gymnastics to try and portray her interactions as toxic, and he "deserves better" my dude, that reeks of something else entirely.

I decided to cut it here as it's getting a little longer than intended and I wanted to keep this to Tech/Bad Batch related stuff. I will make a post explaining the more controversial takes that apparently upset some people.

That should be interesting.

Again, thank you anon for the kind message, and giving me an opportunity to further clarify my thoughts.

If anyone has any questions or counterpoints, I would be interested to hear them.

[positivityforlesbians]

Hey. I know your blog doesn't deal with this, but I really need advice and I've been following you for a while. I've identified as a lesbian for a few years, and it never felt right to me. I've recently realized I've had sex and gender dysphoria from an early age, and that was a reason it didn't seem correct. I am really interested in transition for myself, but I'm worried how my other friends will see me, and I'm worried they'll believe I'm becoming some tra. I'm so lost and I'd value your word

Hey ! This will be a long and honest answer, as you said you value my words on this topic. So here’s a short message to my followers : this has little to do with actual positivity for lesbians and the opinion presented here is maybe not what you encounter everyday but nonetheless it’s an opinion shared with many, some trans people included, and this is a very difficult ask to answer for me as a lesbian, if not the most difficult one. So don’t read this answer if you just seek light-hearted posts.

Transitioning is not a light thing, i’m pretty sure you know that already but i’m putting the emphasis on it because we’re facing a huge wave of detransitioners now, it’s something that we never saw before. It’s because too many people thought it would be good for them but it turns out it wasn’t and now they regret their initial decision and they can’t exactly undo all medical and hormonal changes they went through. I don’t want this for anyone, even my worst enemy (sending full love to detrans wlw out there). I used to have (gender) dysphoria myself and i’m glad i didn’t act on it because i would be miserable right now, this is why i’m telling you this, anon. Transitioning into a trans man is hard on the body (obviously), it doesn’t make you into a soft boy or an androgynous handsome man with a lower voice (how i wish i could have a lower voice ugh), it makes you into a whole ass man (but never a male) one that will have hair everywhere and a recessing hairline, one that will be perceived as a man by other women and will lose the way women look at women (alias, reassurance and lack of fear) and instead they will see you as a potential threat walking in the street. A trans man who is same-sex attracted lose the warmth of lesbian culture, how wlw look at other women (this time the look i’m talking about is lack of fear + potential desire), it’s a deep loss. I’m telling you this because i read what homosexual trans men write and what detransitioners write, grieving being seen as part of the wlw is one of thing i’ve seen multiple times - even though they perfectly knew before taking T that they would probably lose this sense of belonging. 

Ultimately it’s your choice, you are the only one who can decide for yourself. Maybe you do not care about losing that special connection to wlw, maybe you would do it even though there are increased risks of cancer and plenty of health problems. You guessed it, i don’t want to sugarcoat this and minimize what transition is, too many gender “therapists” don’t do their damn job and let teens and adults with other conditions or disabilities (whose symptoms are mistaken as results of gender dysphoria when that dysphoria is actually a result of other conditions/ disabilities, i’m talking about depression, ad/hd, autism > i’m autistic myself, etc) go into hormone replacement therapy and they just not actually care to help the person with dysphoria. Because of all this i cannot just say “hey you’re valid, do whatever please you !” There’s too many things at risk and too many people with internalized homophobia/ are simply gender non conforming/ or have unresolved, undiagnosed conditions/disabilities who are wrongly put into the process of transitioning, so many that i have become wary. I just want you to take the best decision possible and to not get hurt or have regret. Transitioning is something heavy, it’s not at all like being lgb, it’s something that changes one’s life and possibly puts one in a lifetime of medicalization (hormone shots, regular checks with doctors, surgeons, actual therapy if you seek it, the negative aftermath of taking t or e on a body not made for this during decades, etc) and so i’d rather say the truth (again, as someone who used to have gender dysphoria) rather than doing the mistake of making it sound like it’s not a big deal. Other blogs, the ones who are specialized in trans identities, would give you a very different opinion (well, maybe not transmeds) but you asked for mine. It’s your life anon, only you can decide if becoming a trans man would be a good decision for you. Like i often say, you can direct message me if you have more questions anon ! Xx

[nightcoremoon]

for the record I'm not actually upset over the comments people are making. I've been doing the internet fight thing for 15 years. but here's an anecdote.

a couple years ago when Discourse™ first got its start, I saw a post. it said "saying 'my dude' is antiblack racist because it's just a watered down way of saying 'my n*gga'" except he actually said the word because op was black. and I was like. what the fuck am I reading. I check the notes and he's all like "if you're white you're not allowed to disagree with me". I'm like wha. granted there were a bunch of people who had said "I'm black and you're an idiot" and it died out and lo and behold if I say my dude I don't get crucified by black people so it's clearly not racist.

then a meme surfaced. you start ranting and raving in a really long sentence or something that's usually directed towards people who do or say bigoted things and then ending it with a comma and a soccermom name, KAREN. it was used pretty much everywhere by everyone. but then one strangely peculiar thing happened.

people started sending anonymous suicide baits to people who used that meme, because "that meme was created by black people so it's culturally appropriating black culture to use that meme if you're white". including one trans kid who was like 14, living in an abusive and homophobic household. he used it in a vent post. and in the notes at least three people were harassing him about it. he deleted his blog. I worry he might have killed himself.

the people who were sending the messages were in their early to mid 20s. to a 14 year old kid. because he used a black created meme. to vent about his abusive household. I shouldn't have to explain how fucked up that is.

anyway I'd come to his defense and made a post about how it's ridiculous to cyberbully a child because he used a meme he didn't have the license to use. and tumblr flipped out. I had hundreds of messages from people calling me a nazi. yeah sure a disabled mentally ill queer trans leftist is totally a nazi. right. they said I was racist, they said I was homophobic to gay black people, they said that I was a liar who fabricated that story I told earlier about that kid because by the time people were asking for receipts the post was deleted. I got suicide baited, threatened, the whole shebang.

I didn't care. I was just irritated by the huge influx of messages. it was an inconvenience. after the life I lead, mean words on the internet from a spineless coward hiding behind the veil of anonymity are water off a duck's back. yes I might use fuckin profanity or italicized fonts or CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis, but it's because I'm a wordsmith. language is an art form. a keyboard is my brush. I'm proud of my ability to harness the english language and twist and contort it to my own specifications. I can use it for great good, in helping people through tough times with inspiring words that incite courage, for great funny, in jokes that might take some thinking and context to really understand (especially puns), for great sexy (talking dirty basically but only with certain people and when the time is right), or for insulting people. anyone who knows me knows that I'm a good person and that the only people who ever know what it's like to receive a tongue lashing are the ones who fucking deserve it. not the people who see a single text post taken out of context as a basis to judge my entire character on. but I enjoy it. I enjoy using words as weapons on the battlefield of discourse. it's because I'm good at it. beyond the abilities of most opponents which is unfortunate because it just sails right over their heads most of the time but still, my fellow intelligent company is able to grasp the meanings and intentions of both sides. I excel at this. and the fact that I don't take things personally (I'll certainly pretend to when it'll gain me the advantage) is just icing on the cake.

there is just one problem though.

I'm autistic and possess hyperempathy.

"what does that have to do with this?"

see, here's the thing. if some random person makes an offhand comment intended as a joke but didn't really have the "correct" amount of blatant humor injected into it, and you are the type of person to then go to them and tell them they'd be better off dead, they're just a retard who should stop posting, nobody cares about them, whatever, you are NOT the type of person to think "hmm this person's only 14, maybe I should reconsider the choice to send them a death threat" or "oh hey this person has depression, perhaps I'll remove that suicide bait part and replace it with rainbow lollipops and unicorn stickers :3". you don't give a fuck about all that. you just wanna reap destruction and watch the world burn. you wouldn't give a fuck if that kid commits suicide because you don't have any compassion or empathy. if you would send the kind of shit you sent me to anyone, and I had the chance to meet you in person, I'd make you swallow your own teeth.

these anons don't care how old I am. they don't care what my mental state is. they don't care about any of that shit. they only care about inflicting pain, deserved or not, and all over dumb shitposts. over "lmao if you break up over mario kart you're kind of immature and should work on your relationship skills :P". over saying Karen at the end of your sentence. over greeting a friend with "my dude". over liking steven universe. it doesn't matter what the topic of the day is. any excuse will do to go for the proverbial jugular.

the existence of these people is what pisses me off more than the actual things that they say. how dare you exist. how dare you spread hate. how dare you not be a paragon of human decency. if someone says something racist or homophobic or antisemitic or misogynistic or body shaming or pro fascist or bootlicking or genocidal or anything contributing directly to harmful actions towards people based on their demographics rather than the choices that they make, fuck 'em. you lost my compassion for you. you're a piece of old chewing gum under a table. you're a little chunk of dookie that didn't get flushed. you're a moldy apricot pit at the bottom of an unlined trash can. you made a conscious choice to be a bad person. if you are a literal nazi, I'd remove your bones and then put them back in the wrong places without any anesthetic. if you are bigoted because society brainwashed you, I'd call you character into question and point out your hypocrisy. if you made a dumb joke on a shitpost I'd just scroll past because I'm not gonna waste my time on you. but if you would tell a kid to kill themself, you bet your ass I'll tear into you like hungry wolves into a deer carcass with zero remorse or sense of your own feewings. if you want me to care about the feelings of terrible people, you have another thing coming. if they would hurt people who don't deserve it, they're on the shit list.

and I refuse to be told that I'm a bad person because of that. severe, yes. ruthless, maybe. evil? that's pushing it a lot. a little unhinged? I've not been hinged since I was 3 years old. an asshole? I vehemently disagree considering the people i'm rude to are themselves assholes; this isn't some edgy friedrich nietsche quote taken out of context. merciless? okay I'll give you that. but a bad person? fuck that and fuck you.

you don't get to judge my character because I'm ~mean~ to dickheads.

in fact I'm somehow more pissed off at those people than the people sending the shitty messages in the first place. lashing out I can understand because that was me once upon a time. but passive neutrality under guise as absolute good? you're attacking the reaction. you're centrists attacking antifa. you're part of the problem. especially when you use sneaky tactics that take advantage of good nature, "heyyyyy buddy, let's talk about your anger issues, are you okaaaaaay, taaaaalk to me, you need to apologize to the people who want you dead because you were mean to them and that means you deserve it". literal cult tactics. evil. actual legitimate active performed evil. or just an ignorant misguided fool that thinks he's the dalai lama. but... pride is a deadly sin after all.

anyway tl;dr i don't give a shit about the actual things you say to me. the only thing that pisses me off is the fact that you'd say those things to another person completely unprovoked, no matter who that person is.