#but hey ? i did some memes ?? finally ?

[monstersholygrail]

Two words: Faerie lawyer

Omg it could be like that meme with the monster deals.

You had gotten into some seriously issues and you had no idea what to do. Not only was human law enforcement up your ass, but the magical law enforcement was fucking you over on their glitter-covered cocks and leaving you to clean up the mess. No aftercare in damn sight.

But the real issue was that no lawyer, human or otherwise, wanted to take your case! They were all too scared. Not of you but what the hell you got yourself into. It wasn’t your fault. You were always weak for a charismatic douchebag who promised he loved you but then framed you for a series of crimes he committed. What can you say, you have bad taste.

It wasn’t until you were guided out of your temporary cell and into a questioning room to see a lawyer with his back to you that you finally had hope threatening to sprout within you. Until the idiot turned around and you instantly pick up on his Fae ears. The moment you sit down he starts to spout out some wonderful words of grandeur, promising he can get you off and set you free. Your brows rise at his word choice.

“And what will it cost me?” You finally ask once he’s done giving his whole sales pitch (mini-canons and sparklers included). A wicked gleam passes over his features and it sends a shiver racing down your spine. What kind of shiver? You know yourself well enough to figure it out.

“Oh, nothing much. I merely want to have your firstborn child. In exchange, I will help get you off.”

His words send another shiver throughout your entire body. Meeting his intense stare you narrow your eyes, trying to figure out how you can manipulate this to your advantage. You’re in a battle of wits with a Fae and you did not consider that possibility when you wondered the other day how long you could stay awake before insanity started to set in awaiting your trial.

“Deal,” you finally say. The Faerie’s eyes sparkle with mischief. Though it falters as you mirror the expression. “So when do we get to it?”

“HMMM? Pardon me?”

“You said you wanted to have my firstborn. Well, I’m ready to begin when you are.”

The Faerie Lawyer’s cheeks flood with color. His face turning warm under your suggestive and mischievous smirk. He squirms in his suit, the blasted outfit suddenly feeling too tight and too warm to keep on for a moment longer. His eyes blaze with lust and he looks just about ready to take you on the metal table standing between you two. The one you’re conveniently chained to.

He did not consider this possibility earlier when he decided to take advantage of being selected as your court-appointed attorney. But hey, he’s not complaining now.

[starkwlkr]

hi loved your Rubi and Charles oneshotes 🥹🥹🥹 it’s the cutest thing ever ,I was wondering if u can make the same with max and Noah or maybe a daughter 😭😭 please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

little boss | max verstappen

I’ve been wanting to write more for max lately, especially dad fics 😭 so thank you for this request!!

Whenever Noah was in the paddock, Max always made sure he was close by. It didn’t matter if he was doing interviews or in a meeting, he had to be close and the team didn’t mind. Everyone loved Noah, including the fans. During interviews, the little boy would be in his father��s arms playing with the cap on Max’s head or giving him kisses on the cheek resulting in many YouTube compilations of dad Max.

“Did you like the race, Noah?” An interviewer asked the boy, holding a microphone towards him.

Noah looked at his dad as if asking if it was okay to talk. Max gave him a nod. “I liked how the car sounds. It’s loud but I’m not scared.”

“Tell them how the car sounds.” Max said as Noah mimicked the sound of his dad’s car which resulted in various laughs.

“He’s actually my boss. He’s the one that tells me when I’m not going fast enough, when to pit, right?” Max looked at his son.

“You were slow this time . . Like when the race almost ended and you came in and I counted the seconds and it was . . “ he counted on his fingers. “It was five seconds!”

“I took five seconds? I’ll try to be faster next time, okay?” Max played along. “See? He’s my boss.”

“Do I sense a team principal in the making?”

“Watch out, Christian.” Max teased.

Other times when Max had to attend press conferences, drivers noticed how much of a dad max acted. He would often mumble throngs to Noah, who stayed with someone from the Red Bull team.

“You’re such a dad, mate.” Charles chuckled as Max got up from his seat and walked to his son to make sure he was drinking enough water.

“It’s adorable.” Lewis commented.

“I don’t want water, papa.” Noah gave Max the water bottle with a frown.

“Okay, I’ll be over here. Let me know when you want water, okay? Be good.” Max placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s head then walked back to his seat. “What was the question?”

Eventually, Noah did want water so he whispered his dad’s name until Max heard. “Water!” Noah whisper yelled.

“I can get it for you.” Max’s manager told him, but Max had gestured for Noah to come get it so the boy did so. Immediately Noah was greeted by the drivers.

“Hey, little boss man.” Lewis fist bumped the boy. “How’s school? You doing your homework?”

Noah nodded. “I got all the answers right on my test and then papa took me to see a movie and it was so funny.”

“That’s awesome!”

After having a drink of water, Max let Noah sit on his lap as the press conference continued. Towards the end, the boy was half asleep. Max kepts his arms around his little boy as he finally went to sleep. Thankfully the press conference had ended so he walked back to his driver’s room so he and Noah could have a nap together.

The next morning, the hashtag daddy max was trending. The hashtag was filled with screenshots and videos of the press conference. Some people even made memes out of the interaction between Noah and Lewis. It was clear that Max enjoyed being a dad and the whole world loved to see it.

[bottlehawk]

no sburb beta earth au where dave "microcelebrity" strider suddenly gains a big following on the internet after a spike of people discover his sbahj comics online when a screenshot of one goes particularly viral and turns into a [top text/bottom text] meme and some hipsters are like "woah,, this is actually some really avant garde stuff". when he's churning these out sitting in the bathroom stall at school once a day during lunch period. so then he gets REALLY popular and then inevitably gets cancelled at some point when a communications/poli sci major reads one of his comics and then types up a whole memo board explaining how sbahj is actually neo-conservative propaganda written as part of a conspiracy to undermine the 2008 obama presidency. and there's a whole rage war since the memo board was written really convincingly with red arrows and circles drawn around sweet bro's head and everything and dave hasn't made any public statements about it and also no one actually understands what sbahj is about. so threads are being written up about this and people are like emailing death threats to each other over it and someone even tries to doxx him and then manages to find out he lives in texas and some people start actually taking the whole thing seriously because He's From Texas (never mind the fact it's houston). meanwhile dave just started his midterms and he has to focus because he actually cares about school and his future and so he takes a short "hiatus" which people freak out even more over because they take it as him backing away due to the allegations online. and then after winter break dave comes back and opens up a q&a for his 169th "bro wee ar doign it wee ar making it hapen" special and at some point after a barrage of questions in his inbox (q: was "swety bro and hela jeff crassh on the freway" inspired by a real car accident you were in? a: i don't own a car / q: what job do you have in real life? a: unemployed but i pick up roadkill off the street sometimes / q: who did you vote for in the 2008 primaries a: i didn't) someone finally has the bright idea to ask "hey how old are you" and he replies "i'm 13" and all hell breaks loose.

[brittle-doughie]

I need more Burning Spice. Istg it's becoming a problem :D

Idk whats with me and the triangle shape Soul Jam holder. THEY ARE HOT. LITERALLY.

(I'm like that one Bi panic meme rn,HELP)

“Be ready, Y/N Cookie. For the Beast Cookies are a force to be reckoned with and not to be taken lightly.”

“Right. I mean, with you and the others here, I have some hope in our chances. I’ll take point-“

Right as you turn around to start walking, you bump into something firm. Looking up, you saw that it was..a cookie’s back. The cookie turned around to face you and you already felt like dropping your sword in sheer bashfulness, a red flush on your face as you stuttered. The cookie laughed at your embarrassed state as he holstered his large axe over his shoulder.

“Ha ha! Well, aren’t you just the cutest little cookie~ Move aside, will you? I’d hate to have to destroy something as delicate as you~”

“It’s the Beast Cookies! Y/N Cookie, get behind me-“

“Hey! Don’t be hogging them all to yourself! Hello, dearest little cookie~ I bet you’ve never seen a cookie like me before~ I may be a Beast Cookie, but I can still whisk you away to my paradise! What do you say~?”

Your blush grew worse, seeing two attractive cookies before you, it was becoming too much as your grip on your weapon started to shake.

“Before I get to show them my bestest tricks?! Get away, you succubus! They’d rather come with me where I can show what me and my puppets can do! It will just be a barrel full of laughs and they do say that laughter is the key to someone’s heart, y’know!”

“Futility is what I learned throughout the years. Just like how it’s futile for you to resist my beckoning hand, little cookie. Come with me and I’ll show you a world of white. A world where all the weight on your shoulders can finally be let go. A place where you can just..be free. Doesn’t that sound pleasant to you..?”

D-Did Elder Faerie Cookie leave out the part where these Beast Cookies would be this attractive?!

*Looks deeply in your eyes*

You ask Elder Faerie Cookie for forgiveness, you were THIS close to just hurling yourself at the Beast Cookies. The hot women and hot men, oh my!

[jeanthebeagle]

Grishaverse/Ketterdam dashboard simulator

🪙 Barrelrat1877 follow

just spilled my drink on a Fierdan's boots and now he's threatening to duel me. Should I call the stadwatch??? I'm lowkey scared.

#guys please help me

10 notes

🐦 Dregsconfessionsofficial follow

SUBMISSION: Last night I was walking around the barrel and I saw dirtyhands petting a dog. Like I'm not even joking, no gloves and all. And it was one of those crusty white ones.

#submission #omg I hope he washes his hands??? # those dogs are so crusty

10,350 notes

🌊 tidesofthecanals follow

Final results from 672 votes

♠️ kvasandass follow

Razorgulls stop sending anon hate to op over a poll challenge, level impossible, no glue no borax.

#i hope they get caught for tax fraud

380 notes

🐝 thislittlelife follow

A drawing my talented daughter made of Sankta Alina. We pray to her each night 🙏🙏🙏

🐾 magic-tricks follow

46.244.29.14

🍄 thekingofravkaishot follow

hello??? Omg. Why would you dox someone just like that??? This is literally putting them in danger. It's just a sweet mother with her child, who posted a drawing. What is wrong with you.

🏵️ krugebythedozen follow

Op admitted to lying like a year ago about how they don't actually have a kid, but took the post down. It's probably a dime lion trying to troll us like they did in mass when sankta alina died. Also, respectfully, shut up. You posts thirst traps and long drawn out texts on how the king of ravka is "babygirl”. Go get help.

47 notes

🤝 theholyhandofghezenofficial follow

To the citizen who spread a highly damaging rumor that we were hosting a petting zoo inside the church, please come to talk to us. You are not in danger, but words will be exchanged. Lots of trouble was caused due to careless behavior.

⚖️ ketterdamfails follow

Womp womp

9,789 notes

🎀 justapigeon follow

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to update my Pekka Rollins x Jan van eck fanfic. I've been searching for my mom for almost a week since she ran away after hearing that you had to get a vaccine for Firepox after the last outbreak. (She believes in praying to the saints.)

248 notes

🍪 eatthemerchs follow

I hate all of you. Why is this website making Kaz Brekker a soft boy when he literally MURDERS PEOPLE. No, he won't cry if you hug him. No he doesn't want to pet your dog. He'll take your eye out.

Stop romanticizing crime, all of you are sick.

(I am TIRED of the dog memes. Brekker is a crime boss. Why would any of you think he'd even care about your dog.)

🐾 magic-tricks follow

Your border collie is nice. But your chihuahua barks too much.

15,370 notes

🦂 northerstaverner follow

literally just saw some tall ass guy with a huge gun, a revolver and the brightest outfit l've ever seen, trot past my window??? In broad daylight??? Like oh my god. It felt like looking at a stork who made a wish he was human. His clothes were purple and green. Who wears that. Like, iconic. But still.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome

🦂 northerstaverner follow

He was built like a stork.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome???

🦂 northerstaverner follow

I'm not answering that... who is this.

🧁sugarandredribbons follow

Op answer

☁️ theweststavesucksass follow

Op we all want to know

🫵 isthisbarrelbossproblematic follow

OP THIS IS AN URGENT MATTER

🫀dmitrithekerchman follow

OPPPPP

4,750 notes

[lecsainz]

BEEN MINE

request: that one where you and charles have been friends since childhood and end up together

pairings: charles leclerc x friend!f1driver!reader

authors note: It was a request from a while ago, and it was in my drafts, so I decided to finish it, but I couldn't find the request box 😭

✩. . . masterlist !

liked by charles_leclerc , redbullracing , and 1.783.809 others

yourinstagram week of tests and a bit of my veryyyy boring holidays for you guys.

view all 10.527 comments

ynismylife can't wait to see you racing this season

danielricciardo gonna kick some butts, girl!

⤷ yourinstagram I'll kick yours, danny!

⤷ danielricciardo oh, don't even

tswift the best of the grid

yourmom so proud of you my little baby

⤷ yourinstagram love you ❤️

⤷ landonorris “little baby” 😂

⤷ yourinstagram shut up, head square

landonorris still can't believe you ditched me to team up with max.

⤷ yourinstagram what can I say, lando, I love energy drinks! 😝

⤷ landonorris just smuggle some to my garage, we're good

⤷ yourinstagram deal!

⤷ landonorris 🤝

mcslaren her in the RBR uniform is gonna be the death of me.

⤷ monzaaaaa she must look smoking hot

charles_leclerc see you on the track, Y/N/N

⤷ yourinstagram ready to eat dust, leclerc?

⤷ charles_leclerc I never, but you...

⤷ yourinstagram we'll see, charles, we'll see.

redbullracing check out our new driver! we're thrilled to have you on the team, Y/N!

f1girly SHE IS SO MY WIFE

⤷ ynmine no she is MINE

maxverstappen1 can't wait to go for a run together, mate!

⤷ yourinstagram same here max.

⤷ 44hamiton not max calling her a mate 😭

yourinstagram - 4hrs ago

seen by charles_leclerc, oliviarodrigo and 12.681.879 others

charles_leclerc ��� 5hrs ago

seen by carlossainz55 , maxverstappen1 and 6.827.971 others

liked by charles_leclerc , kendalljenner , and 2.683.729 others

yourinstagram definitely wasn't my best race, but hey, I made it to the podium! yeah, I'm gonna copy my grid mates, a.k.a. lando and daniel, and post more random pics. nah, I'm never making an insta for this; I always forget the password I set.

tag: danielricciardo , charles_leclerc , maxverstappen1, landonorris

view all 17.628 comments

charles_leclerc y/n, you gotta be kidding me with this pic!

⤷ yourinstagram but it's your bestie's best shot!

⤷ charles_leclerc I hate you, stinker

⤷ yourinstagram you're the stinker, percival

vsttapen RBR on 🔝!

landonorris since when do you remember anything?

⤷ yourinstagram lando, I just forgot your birthday, no biggie

⤷ landonorris NO BIGGIE????

foryn I'm just loving Y/N's era in red bull

yourbestie miss you 😢

⤷ yourinstagram me too sweetheart 😭

charles_leclerc since when do you root for the lakers, muffin?

⤷ yourinstagram always have.

⤷ charles_leclerc not gonna comment

⤷ yourinstagram boring 😑

danielricciardo when? where? and why did you take this pic of me?

⤷ yourinstagram I've got way more where that came from, danny.

⤷ danielricciardo y/n, you're scaring me

ferrariclub Y/N dropping a bunch of memes for us was just what I needed

lewishamilton we gotta set up a playdate for roscoe and [your dog name]

⤷ yourinstagram OMG! we need that, lew.

sebastianvettel you had an awesome race, kiddo!

⤷ yourinstagram thanks, seb ❤️

lecciardo we need posts like this every week!

maxverstappen1 should've posted a pic of us on the podium, mate.

⤷ yourinstagram couldn't find any good ones 😭

⤷ maxverstappen1 what do you mean?

⤷ yourinstagram charles_leclerc was photobombing like crazy.

⤷ charles_leclerc why am I still your friend?

⤷ yourinstagram cause you love me.

⤷ landonorris friend?

⤷ yourinstagram yeah, just a friend, lando!

ynandcharles I'm dying from this comment thread.

liked by carlossainz55, taylorswift , and 18.362.071 others

charles_leclerc you are the best thing that's ever been mine

tag: youristagram

view all 23.681 comments

yourinstagram and every time I look at you, it's like the first time

ynfirst the caption 😭😭😭

landonorris finally, you guys spilled the beans, I couldn't hold onto this anymore.

⤷ yourinstagram the first time you kept a secret!

⤷ danielricciardo HOW DID LANDO KNOW AND I DIDN'T

⤷ landonorris DON'T WANNA KNOW, DANIEL (I accidentally caught them both in the act, traumatized to this day 🤮)

f1gossip I TOLD YOU!!!!

carlossainz55 can I be the wedding godfather, lovebirds?

⤷ yourinstagram of course!

⤷ charles_leclerc yes!

⤷ landonorris can I be too?

⤷ yourinstagram NO

sainzmyluv my folks

arthur_leclerc congrats! and officially welcome to the leclerc family, yourinstagram

⤷ yourinstagram thanks arth ❤️

⤷ charles_leclerc you seemed more hyped when we told you

⤷ arthur_leclerc oh cmon I am the fan number 1 of yncharles!

hrryswif them being a swiftie couple >>>>>

maxverstappen1 I couldn't stand Y/N talking about charles all day, and now it's going to be even worse.

⤷ yourinstagram MAX! I don't talk about him all the time

⤷ maxverstappen1 YES, YOU DO.

lorenzotl Y/N dating the rival, christian won't like that very much...

⤷ yourinstagram I'm going to steal ferrari's strategies 😎

⤷ charles_leclerc I knew there was something behind it

⤷ yourinstagram LOVE, WAIT, I CAN EXPLAIN!

yourmom pascal and I always knew you two would end up together

⤷ pascal_leclerc we'll have to rethink our plans for their wedding.

⤷ yourinstagram oh no

⤷ charles_leclerc MOM, WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED DATING PROPERLY YET.

⤷ pascal_leclerc it's never too early to have everything planned, dear

yourbestie yourinstagram, you sneaky! why didn't you tell me, but you make a HOT couple

⤷ yourinstagram calling you now, bitch

[empty-movement]

Musical Utena ~ Blooming Rose of Deepest Black EVERYTHING

Oh, hey! Did you like what I did with the 2018 Musical Utena ~ Bud of the White Rose? With the posting a script, lyrics to the main banger, and links to download the everything I ever did about it?

I'm back to bring you all that tasty kibble, but for the sequel that followed the next year!

Musical Utena ~ Blooming Rose of Deepest Black EVERYTHING

You've asked, like, a lot a lot, and finally I answer! You want the script? You want some goofy memes and meta? You want to download (check the thread!) both the original crunchy streams on top of the Blu-ray, but also the soundtrack I made? Wanna read the translated program? The interview with Ikuhara and Yoshitani? Wanna see all the bromides? Yep, like last time I even collected the Twitter behind the scenes images.

Once again a massive undertaking both originally and in pulling together the script, which again, I did live on the subtitles, so I never actually made a script I could just copy and paste to show y'all! Well! Here it is!

Also, yes, I know you wanna see the banger's lyrics:

Two Worlds a Mirror Apart 鏡分ケる二つノ世界​ Kagami Wakeru Futatsu no Sekai​

KOZUE: With your sword, cleave into two…​ その剣により鋭く区切られた​ Sono ken ni yori surudoku kugirareta​ MIKI: ...the light and the dark reflected within the mirror...​ 鏡の中の光と闇​ Kagami no naka no hikari to yami​ SHIORI: The chosen live on, embraced by the light...​ 選ばれた者は光に包まれた生者​ Erabareta mono ha hikari ni tsutsumareta seija​ JURI: …while the rest are left for dead in the dark.​ 選バレヌ者ハ闇ノ中ノ死者 ​ Erabarenu mono ha yami no Naka no shisha​ WAKABA: The one you seek in the mirror...​ 鏡の中を探しても​ Kagami no naka wo sagashite mo ​ WAKABA: ...will never find a path to you...​ あの人は帰ってこない​ ano hito ha kaettekonai​ SAIONJI: ...so smash it...​ 鏡ヲ壊シテ​ Kagami wo kowashite​ SAIONJI: ...and make your own way to their side.​ アノ人ノモトへ​ ano hito no moto e​ NANAMI: You are illuminated...​ 光君は確かに僕の​ Hikaru kimi ha tashika ni boku no​ NANAMI: ...standing right here before me.​ 前に存在している​ Mae ni sonzai shiteiru​ EVERYONE: This is no illusion, so grasp my hand now...​ 幻想じやない僕の手を握っていて​ Gensou janai boku no te wo nigitteite​ EVERYONE: ...and let my warmth make its way to you.​ 触れた手のぬくもりが証明している​ Fureta te no nukumori ga shoumei shiteiru​ EVERYONE: Please, never let me go.​ ねえだからもうこの手を離さないで​ Nēdakara mou kono te wo hanasanaide​

MAMIYA: You are shrouded by an enveloping darkness...​ すぐ目の前の闇が君を包み��んで​ Sugu me no mae no yami ga kimi wo tsutsumikonde​ MIKAGE: ...feeling as though you'll vanish into nothing...​ 消してしまう気がするから​ Kesshite shimau ki ga suru kara​ AKIO: ...consumed by the light...​ スグ目ノ前ノ光ノ​ Sugu me no mae no hikari no​ AKIO: ...that has reached out to touch you.​ 君ヲ包モウトシテモ​ Kimi wo tsutsumou to shite mo​ EVERYONE: Hold on, and don't lose heart...​ 決シテシマエナイ心ニ​ Kesshite shimaenai kokoro ni​ ANTHY: Though in darkness, I know...​ 闇ノ僕ハ確カニ​ Yami no boku ha tashika ni ​ ANTHY: ...you're standing here before me.​ 君ノ前ニ存在シテルケド​ Kimi no mae ni sonzai shiteru kedo​ UTENA: None of this is real, so grasp my hand now…​ 現実ジャナイ僕ノ手ヲ握ッテミテ​ Genjitsu janai boku no te wo nigitteite​ EVERYONE: ...and never forget...​ 触レタ手ノ温モリハ​ fureta te no nukumori ha​ EVERYONE: ...my warmth will make its way to you.​ 忘レテイナイ​ wasureteinai​ EVERYONE: Please, never let me go.​ ネェダケドモウコノ手ニ触レラレナイ​ Nē dakedo mou ko no te ni furerarenai​ EVERYONE: These are two worlds, a mirror apart.​ 鏡分ケる二つノ世界​ Kagami wakeru futatsu no sekai​

​(Thanks to Nagumo and cowtown for help with the romanization!)

[santanasaintmendes]

g’day mate how are ya?

Part7! to The Cosmic Girl Records!

summary: new year, new you, plus your new job! and the australian gp which also comes with a few difficulties when you have a big insta following and no pr training ollie bearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader

fc!: just some random photos off pinterest, all credits go to the rightful owners of the images used below

warnings: swearing, insensitive jokes, mention of being held at gunpoint, if any of these are triggering please scroll away!!

a/n: finally got the motivation to make the 7th part to the cosmic girl records also reader is 2 days younger than Ollie! Also if u get tagged by accident IM SO SORRY i swear it’s not on purpose. Also Lewis is driving for mercedes with kimi in this universe, i should probably make a post about the grid for this universe, anyways enjoy!

liked by olliebearman, francocolapinto, landonorris, lilymhe, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc and 3,920,443 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: new year, new me AANNND NEW JOB 

tagged olliebearman 

olliebearman: but NOT a new man, just to be clear 

 unfortunatelyy/n: hey there mr jealous wanna get off my insta page maybe 

 olliebearman: ☹️

landonorris: i feel like you say new year new me too often and nothing changes 

 unfortunatelyy/n: u know just how ruin everything 😔

 landonorris: that is true but you don’t have to point it out‼️

 user1: bro’s just accepting it at this point 😭

user2: SHE’S BACKKKK AND BETTERR THIS TIME 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

mercedesamgf1: can’t wait to see you in the garage this season 💪

 unfortunatelyy/n: 💪💪

georgerussell64: Love? EWWWWWW

 unfortunatelyy/n: such an anti romantic. i’m telling carmen 

 georgerussell64: no wait 

 unfortunatelyy/n: poor mr russell. screenshotted or you may know it - screen grabbing 

 unfortunatelyy/n: or at least that’s what old people call it 

 georgerussell64: you dare? you dare call ME OLD?

 georgerussell64: HAVE U SEEN ALONSO (no offence mate)

 fernandoalo_oficial: um offence taken? 

 unfortunatelyy/n: WOAH u cannot be going around roasting rookies like that george 

 user2: SHE KNOWS 

 user3: of course she knows, she’s probably the only on there that even knows how to properly use instagram 

 user4: the sad truth. sad but true.

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 unfortunatelyy/n: very true indeed 

user5: i fear that y/n is the only one who’s chronically online 😔

 unfortunatelyy/n: i am, it’s such a hard life when the others don’t get it the memes i show them 😔

 unfortunatelyy/n: they’re just too old

 olliebearman: it’s such a struggle fr 

 unfortunatelyy/n: you’re old too so shush 

|

 olliebearman: I’M 19??? 19 AND LITERALLY 2 DAYS OLDER THAN U

 unfortunatelyy/n: poor ollie, when i was learning subtraction and addition you were already doing multiplication and division 

 olliebearman: i am so confused right now 

liked by olliebearman, alex_albon, kimi.antonelli, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 4,920,228 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: IT’S RACE WEEK + my boyfriend with his boyfriend 

tagged olliebearman and kimi.antonelli 

User1: uh y/n? i don’t think you can be saying stuff like that anymore 

User5: i fear y/n will never be the same anymore, she is employed now 😔

user2: no filter y/n we love to see it 

olliebearman: seriously?

 unfortunatelyy/n: i’m such a comedian (i know ur giggling n shit) 🤭

 olliebearman: I AM NOT 

 unfortunatelyy/n: woah so defensive and for what 

mercedesamgf1: usually we only do pr training for our drivers but . . .  

 unfortunatelyy/n: good thing i’m not a driver then 😮‍💨

 user3: SHE DID NOTTTT 

kimi.antonelli: i’m gonna get you fired (can you send me the photo i want it printed out and on my dashboard for when i drive🙏) 

 unfortunatelyy/n: try me antonelli (yes ofc check ur dms) 

 olliebearman: NOW HANG ON JUST A MINUTE 

 unfortunatelyy/n: yes my love?

 kimi.antonelli: yes my little sugarplum with caramel sauce?

 olliebearman: 🤨

 kimi.antonelli: 🫦

 olliebearman: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND 

kimi.antonelli: and now a boyfriend 

 user4: i’m on kimi’s side. it’s not gay if it’s with the homies 🤷 

 olliebearman: @unfortunatelyy/n send for help 🙏

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, lilymhe, kimi.antonelli, arthur_leclerc and 4,294,339 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: hanging out with my fav cutie patootie - oh hey ollie’s here too 

tagged olliebearman and kimi.antonelli

 landonorris: OOOOOHHHH 🔥🔥🔥🔥

 unfortunatelyy/n: get out of here 

 landonorris: ok 😔

 user1: wow she really has him at gunpoint

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

kimi.antonelli: you are also my favourite cutie patootie 🤗

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 olliebearman: just break up with me already😔

 unfortunatelyy/n: well who would i annoy then 

 olliebearman: kimi 😒

 unfortunatelyy/n: IT WAS A JOKE PLS COME HOME WITH THE ITALIAN FOOD 

 olliebearman: NO 

 unfortunatelyy/n: i’m calling the police 

 charles_leclerc: i would appreciate it if you would stop bullying my son 

 charles_leclerc: and calling the police on him 

 unfortunatelyy/n: not unless he brings the food back 

 olliebearman: fine. but only because i love you 😒

 kimi.antonelli: and me too 

 olliebearman: STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY RELATIONSHIP 

 kimi.antonelli: no.

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, francocolapinto, lilymhe, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc, pepemartiofficial and 3,849,928 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: just a little reminder that the aussie waves are ALWAYS OUT FOR BLOOD

user1: my anxiety looking at that second pic: 📈📈📈📈

 user2: my girl’s been traumatised by the aussie waves 😭 

 unfortunatelyy/n: she has indeed 😔 

 olliebearman: HAHAHAHAHHAHA 

 unfortunatelyy/n: i hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight 

 olliebearman: GASP. how terrifyingly hilarious, still won’t beat you nearly drowning though 

 unfortunatelyy/n: I WAS NOT DROWNING 

 olliebearman: so you were just randomly yelling for help in the water while freaking out 

 unfortunatelyy/n: . . . i was testing your boyfriend reflexes 

 olliebearman: mhm sure 

 unfortunatelyy/n: okay the sass was unnecessary 

 olliebearman: 🙄💅

user5: they’re such couple goals i just feel single whenever i see their posts 😔

 user6: kimi’s probably plotting his next sabotage 

 kimi.antonelli: 🤫

 lilymhe: @unfortunatelyy/n ur so hot 😍 

 unfortunatelyy/n: you’re hotter 😍😍😍

 alex_albon: not this again 

 alex_albon: i thought we moved on from this phase 

 unfortunatelyy/n: it’s not a phase honey, it’s a lifestyle 

 alex_albon: your lifestyle is stealing my girlfriend?

 unfortunatelyy/n: yes 😄

 alex_albon: *sigh 

liked by landonorris, kimi.antonelli, lewishamilton, olliebearman, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 5,928,658 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: FIRST DAY ON THE JOB  WE GOT THIS💪💪

tagged lewishamilton and kimi.antonelli 

user1: did lewis dirty 😭

 user2: what is going on with ollie’s hair in the bg of the third pic 😭

 unfortunatelyy/n: unfortunately it’s always like that 

 olliebearman: HEY 

 lewishamilton: DELETE THIS 

 unfortunatelyy/n: erm no 

 lewishamilton: i’m gonna fire you 

 unfortunatelyy/n: actually u can’t do that 

 lewishamilton: erm actually 🤓☝️

 user3: WOAH i did not know lewis was chill like that 😭😭

 unfortunatelyy/n: OKAY I’M TELLING TOTO 

 lewishamilton: DO IT I DARE YOU 

 unfortunatelyy/n: done. in less than 24 hours you will be an unemployed man 

 mercedesamgf1: y/n . . . we can’t fire our 7 world champion 😓

 unfortunatelyy/n: DANG IT 

 mercedesamgf1: so about that pr training. . . 

 unfortunatelyy/n: GOTTA GO 🏃‍♀️💨

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, alex_albon, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, lilymhe and 11,759,390 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: i know we’re enemies now but maybe i can be happy for u just this once 🫶

tagged olliebearman 

olliebearman: ❤️

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 landonorris: yuckyyyyyy 

 unfortunatelyy/n: ur yuckier 

 landonorris: no you are 

 unfortunatelyy/n: nuh uh 

 landonorris: yuh huh 

 unfortunatelyy/n: SHUT UP

 landonorris: NO

 unfortunatelyy/n: i’m calling ur mom 

 landonorris: now hang on just a second 

user1: y/n’s living that wattpadd engineer x driver life 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 user2: HELP SHE LIKED THE COMMENT 

 oscarpiastri: congrats mate 

 unfortunatelyy/n: are you happy being back in your natural habitat 

 oscarpiastri: what.

a/n: thanks for reading! stay safe and have a good day!!

[0omillo0]

KIM SEUNGMIN X FEM! READER 𐙚₊˚⊹

a/n: pure fluff <33

syn: you and seungmin have been seeing eachother for some months. you were friends, yes, but you had feelings for him. ofc he didn’t like you back, did he..?

ᡣ𐭩

You had always wondered what it would feel like to be in love with someone who didn’t love you back. The kind of ache people wrote about in songs, or spilled into poems. You never thought it would feel quite like this, though—a slow burn in your chest that grew heavier every time Seungmin crossed your mind.

And Seungmin was always on your mind.

Your crush on him had been obvious for months, and although he was sweet, charming, and funny, he never made it clear if he felt the same way. You’d catch him staring at you sometimes, but he’d always look away, expression unreadable. You tried dropping hints, but Seungmin was impossible to figure out. After a while, you convinced yourself that he just didn’t like you the way you liked him. If he did, he would’ve said something by now, right?

Which is why you were sitting in a cafe right now with Jisoo. He was nice. Easy-going, and he’d made it clear early on that he liked you. So you thought, maybe if you gave someone else a chance, you could get over Seungmin. Maybe Jisoo could be the person to help you move on.

Your phone buzzed on the table, and you glanced down, unlocking it to see the message.

Seungmin:

Where are you?

read 18:40

You bit your lip, glancing up at Jisoo, who was rambling on about his plans for the weekend. He didn’t seem to notice that you were distracted.

You:

Out with a friend. Why?

read 18:42

There was a long pause. You could see the three dots blinking at the bottom of the screen, then disappearing, and then blinking again. Finally, his reply came.

Seungmin:

Never mind.

read 18:51

You frowned at the message. What was that about? For some reason, your heart skipped a beat, but you quickly shoved your phone back into your bag, determined to focus on Jisoo. This was good. It was a step in the right direction.

But that lingering feeling in your chest didn’t go away.

The next few days were strange.

Seungmin was everywhere, as usual—at mutual gatherings, in your group chat, sending memes to everyone except you. But there was something off. He wasn’t talking to you like he normally did, barely even acknowledging your existence. Every time you entered the room, he found an excuse to leave. When you tried to talk to him, he’d give one-word answers or act like he hadn’t heard you.

It stung.

By the third day, you were sure something was seriously wrong. Seungmin never ignored you like this before. Had you done something wrong? Said something that pissed him off?

Your phone buzzed again. It was a message from Jisoo, asking you to hang out tomorrow. You sighed, scrolling through your chat history with Seungmin, hoping to find a clue as to why he was acting this way.

But there was nothing.

Frustrated, you typed out a message to him, your fingers trembling slightly.

You:

Hey. Are you mad at me or something? You’ve been ignoring me for days. Did I do something?

seen 10:37

You stared at the screen, waiting for the three dots to appear. Nothing. Seungmin had seen your message, but there was no response.

Your heart sank. You tried to convince yourself that you didn’t care, but the truth was, you did. More than you wanted to admit.

That night, it rained. Hard.

You sat in your living room, the sound of raindrops pelting against the window almost soothing. The TV was on, but you weren’t paying attention, your mind too preoccupied with thoughts of Seungmin.

Your phone vibrated on the couch beside you, and for a moment, you thought it was Jisoo. But when you glanced at the screen, your heart stopped.

Seungmin:

We need to talk. Now.

seen 21:50

You blinked at the message, not sure how to respond.

You:

Okay? About what?

seen 21:51

This time, the response was immediate.

Seungmin:

About you. And Jisoo.

seen 21:51

Your chest tightened. Why would Seungmin care about that? Did he…? No. He couldn’t possibly—

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts. Startled, you jumped up from the couch, heart racing. You weren’t expecting anyone.

But when you opened the door, there he was—Seungmin, soaked to the bone, his hair plastered to his forehead, water dripping from the edges of his jacket.

“Seungmin?” you gasped, eyes wide. “What are you doing here? You’re soaking wet!”

He ignored your concern, stepping inside without invitation. His dark eyes bore into yours, and for the first time in days, he wasn’t avoiding you. No, he was looking right at you, as if he’d been holding something in for too long and couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice tight with frustration.

You blinked, confused. “Tell you what?”

“About Jisoo,” he spat out, like the name itself was poison on his tongue.

You stared at him, speechless. “What… What does Jisoo have to do with anything?”

Seungmin’s jaw clenched, and he ran a hand through his wet hair, his chest heaving. “Everything! How long have you been seeing him?”

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. He knew? How did he even—?

“That’s none of your business, Seungmin!” you shot back, feeling a surge of anger. “Why do you care?”

“Why do I care?” Seungmin laughed, but there was no humor in it. Just bitterness. “Because you’re seeing someone else. Because I thought you were—fuck, I don’t even know what I thought. But I didn’t think you’d just go off and start dating someone else.”

“You never said anything!” you shouted, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “You never showed any sign that you liked me, Seungmin. I’ve been waiting for months, hoping you’d do something, but you didn’t! So I moved on.”

Seungmin stared at you, his chest rising and falling rapidly. The rain was still pouring outside, thunder rumbling in the distance, but the storm inside your apartment was far worse.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Seungmin whispered, taking a step closer to you. “I liked you, Y/N. I liked you so much that it scared the shit out of me. But I didn’t want to ruin anything between us, so I held back.”

Your breath caught in your throat. He… liked you? This whole time?

“I thought you didn’t like me,” you said, your voice breaking. “You never showed it.”

“I thought I had time,” Seungmin admitted, his voice low. “I thought if I waited long enough, I’d figure out how to tell you. But when I found out about Jisoo… I realized I didn’t have time. You’re slipping away from me.”

You stood frozen, your heart racing as the weight of his words settled in. You weren’t sure how to process any of this.

“I was trying to get over you,” you whispered, not trusting your voice to be any louder.

Seungmin took another step forward, so close now that you could see the raindrops clinging to his lashes. “And now?”

You swallowed hard, your gaze flickering down to his lips before meeting his eyes again. “Now… I don’t know.”

Seungmin’s expression softened, and his hand reached out, gently cupping your cheek. The warmth of his palm against your skin sent a shiver down your spine, and your heart pounded so loudly in your chest you were sure he could hear it.

“Tell me to leave, and I will,” Seungmin murmured, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone. “Tell me to walk away, and I won’t bother you again.”

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. Instead, you found yourself leaning into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut for just a moment.

That was all Seungmin needed.

He closed the distance between you, his lips crashing against yours with an urgency that took your breath away. His hands were in your hair, pulling you closer, and you melted into him, your fingers clutching the fabric of his wet jacket.

The kiss was desperate, like he was making up for all the time he’d lost. And in that moment, everything else faded away—the rain, Jisoo, the doubts that had plagued you for so long. It was just you and Seungmin, tangled up in each other, finally giving in to what had been building between you for months.

When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, Seungmin rested his forehead against yours, his breath ragged.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve been an idiot, haven’t I?”

You let out a shaky laugh, still catching your breath. “Yeah. You have.”

Seungmin pulled back slightly, his gaze searching yours. “So… where do we go from here?”

You hesitated for a moment, then smiled, your heart swelling with a warmth you hadn’t felt in a long time. “We figure it out. Together.”

Seungmin grinned, his dimples making your heart do a somersault. “Together, huh?”

You nodded, biting your lip.

[callmelola111]

loser!ellie ♡ dating app headcanons

synopsis: totally sfw hc’s of loser!ellie (modern au) on dating apps, including a cute little 1st date scenario. basically just pure fluff !!!

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 1.4k

a/n: never written headcanons before, crazy ass shit. idk if i did it exactly right but i think it will be an entertaining read no matter what. i’ve recently caved and downloaded hinge which is what inspired this---but there’s only like 40 gay bitches on there and that’s it (also like no mascs?? i’m attracted to any kind of non-man but still,,, the shortage is real y’all). ALSO let me know if this is something you’d like a nsfw/smut part 2 of. much loveeee ♡~ lola

| ❀ | loser!ellie who took weeks of convincing from dina and jesse to finally download hinge after she wouldn’t shut up about how she’s “never beating the loser lesbian allegations”. truly she could have any girl she wants but just doesn’t know how to speak to them in real life. they were so fed up with her bullshit.

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who only has like 3 pictures of her actual face so the rest of the photos on her hinge profile are just art pics and gay memes

| ❀ | loser!ellie who had to beg dina for help writing all the little prompts just to reject all her ideas because she’d “never say something like that!”

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who started getting so cocky as soon as those likes began to roll in. saying some shit like “ooo i have rizz” in the cringiest way possible. jesse just says it’s cause there’s a masc lesbian shortage and of course she flips him off in response.

| ❀ | loser!ellie whose cockiness immediately leaves her body when she realizes she has to go through the likes and accept/reject every girl. eventually she just gave up and stopped looking because it felt “too mean” and like “too much work”.

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who SUCKS at responding to messages and likes after she lost all interest about 2 days into having the app. that is until she stumbled upon your profile…

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

| ❀ | loser!ellie whose glued to her notifications after she matched with you on hinge. at this point you’re her fixation, and every other message besides yours are going unanswered. as soon as she works up the courage to ask for your number, and you oblige, she immediately deletes the app.

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who stares at her screen for like 5 minutes straight at the first text message she plans to send you, even though it was literally just “hey, is this y/n?”. she even googled the difference in connotations between hi, hey, and hello. it’s safe to say the girl is straight up mental about you.

| ❀ | loser!ellie who gets more and more unhinged as y’all get better acquainted with each other through texts. eventually she's spamming you with updates about her day, instagram memes that she thinks are funny, and an occasional flirty message—but of course, she’s waiting for that first date to really test the romantic waters. like yes she’s obsessed with you, but to the extent where she’s so scared to screw things up so every little move she makes is with caution and regard to your feelings and boundaries. it’s honestly super sweet.

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who eventually asked you on a first date after you sent like 3 different flirty memes to get the point across that you like her a lot and wanna be taken out for real. you definitely were sending her some shit like this…

| ❀ | loser!ellie who planned out a whole agenda for y’alls first date so it would be absolutely perfect. she refused to tell you where she was taking you or what you guys would be doing because she thought it would be better as a surprise. and although you were kinda stressing about what to wear and what to expect, the element of mystery was kind of endearing.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who pulls up to your house in her little beat up sedan that she had cleaned for like the first time ever just before she came and picked you up. there was still clearly some reminisce of her mess as seen on the stained seats and crumbs on the floor, but you didn’t mind—yours was just as bad (probably worse).

| ❀ | loser!ellie who took you out for sushi as the first stop on your date, to which she graciously paid for even with you fighting to put your card down on the table first. she looked so adorable with her little california roll, and even cuter when she accidentally got too much wasabi in a bite and was fiending for water while simultaneously trying to play it cool in front of you. you just laughed which immediately made her feel better about the whole thing. 

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who then took you to your town’s expansive park to walk the dirt trails and just talk. neither of you had ever gotten along with someone so well, the conversation was absolutely effortless. you talked about all your interests, funny life stories, your fears, and so much more. ellie listened attentively with nods and affirmations throughout which made you feel so cared for, something most girls on dating apps could never do. you extended the courtesy back and ellie told you all about her own stuff, including her obsession with space, to which she pulled out her favorite book on the topic to show you. space had never really piqued your interest before, but when it was coming out of the freckled girl's mouth, it seemed like the coolest thing in the world.

| ❀ | loser!ellie who sat next to you on one of the park’s wooden benches. time had flown by and neither of you had realized until your head was resting on her shoulder as the sun set in front of you. the orange cast hit her auburn hair just right and it looked like she was practically glowing. you couldn’t help but stare at her beauty which she noticed and with a concerned look questioned if she had anything on her face. you informed ellie of the trance she had put you in and she blushed the color of your pink nails just before leaning in to give you the most tender, loving kiss you’d ever received.

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who couldn’t stop kissing you once she started. your lips remained locked with hers for a solid 5 minutes, lips puffy and saliva exchanging, until the sound of a dog barking a few feet away broke the exchange. the energy had shifted in the best way possible and the both of you quickly opened up about how much you liked one another. one thing lead to another and suddenly ellie has out her pocket knife and is carving an E + R (reader) into the wood of the park bench. how lesbian of you guys ♡

| ❀ | loser!ellie who didn’t want the date to end and you were right there with her, so you somehow found yourselves in an empty parking lot at 9:00pm, drinking slurpees while she tried to teach you how to skate. it started off as a real attempt with her teaching you the basics like where to put your feet and the importance of bending your knees. after about 4 different falls onto the dirty asphalt you gave up on your genuine pursuits. discouraged, you sat right down on the board, knees up, before ellie gave you a push and you rolled across the lot. she was laughing her ass off and you were too until you hit a bump and tumbled off. 

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who bolted into the CVS the parking lot belonged to and bought a bunch of unnecessary first aid items for the small cut on your knee. she came back out of the sliding doors and you died of laughter as she pulled out a box of peppa pig bandaids for your skating “injury”. ellie insisted you needed to be taken care of though, so you let her do her thing and she finished it off with a small peck to the cap of your knee and one on your forehead.

| ❀ | loser!ellie who spent the trip back to your place with one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh, driving you absolutely wild. you almost had to remind yourself that this was just the first date.

| 𓆣 | loser!ellie who had been parked in your driveway for 10 minutes already but continued to stall your departure with more of her shenanigans. soon she ran out of things to say though and leaned over to kiss you goodbye. this goodbye turned into more and you ended up in her lap before the night was over. it wasn’t until your back hit the steering wheel making the car honk that you finally exited the vehicle. 

| ❀ | loser!ellie who waited for you to completely make it inside before she drove home, giving you a final little wave as you opened the front door. after she was back at her place she instantly texted you about date 2 and thanked you for the best night of her life. in her eyes, you were a keeper!

✄ - - - -   masterlist   - - - -   ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

[felassan]

Snippets 🐺💜

Users report that pre-orders they made to TFAW of the DA:TV artbook The Art of Dragon Age: The Veilguard have been cancelled (since its listings were taken down like Dark Horse's were)

Blair: "The Shadow Dragons have some great black leather combos, less feathers though." [source]. shrl: "The Mourn Watch have leather and skulls." [source]

John: "it's been a pleasure and an honor working on this with you Brian" [source]. Brian: "The feeling is mutual." [source]. Trick: "It's been amazing watching it all come together, and I am so grateful for everything you've done to make that happen." [source]

John: "the day this game ships is the day i will finally retire the sleeved blanket i bought back in 2019" [source]

John: "the wildest thing about being creative director is that about once every two weeks someone says 'hey this bizarre thing here is part of your job can you do it'. and it is a thing that you KNEW someone did but you never thought about which someone. congratulations, you are that someone" [source]

User: "The Evanuris are banished forever, he says. 👀". Trick: "Forever-ish" [source]

John: "me: it’s weird how a lot of fans think I hate Solas, it’s absolutely wild. also me: I should photoshop Solas into the ‘we demand to be taken seriously’ picture" [source]

Carly: "i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, everyone,,,, s o o n 🥴" [source]. / "I honestly can’t wait til we share more !" [source]. / User: "do you ever look at people’s reactions and theories on here like 🙂‍↔️ you people have no idea what’s coming". Carly: "Oh absolutely lmaooo" [source]

Carly: "I deleted it but I posted in our slack like “pls just tell them smtg, the clowns make me sad ):” lolol" [source]. (note: fans have been joking around and calling themselves clowns hhh, in the age-old tradition of DA clowning) "this is me empathizing and feeling bad we aren’t giving as much info (altho epler be goin off), rereading it sounds like I’m going *points* look at how pathetic those clowns are lol" [source]. / "its like we can finally yell about our work but only in limited quantities and basically at the same time fans find out things lolol oh ya and the ea snipers" [source]

Violet: "I might be screaming into the wind, but there's nothing underhanded going on. Release date is coming in August like we already said (so very soon)" / "roadmap will be very soon with some nuggets of what will be coming in August." [source: the official BioWare Discord]

Violet: "I made the announcement [in the Discord about Edge magazine's article], and it's kinda damned if you do, damned if you dont. If you do, people that ONLY want the biggest beats get mad. If you don't, people that want any scrap of news get mad. Personally, I think going towards the latter is better overall. But I'm sorry it wasn't what you expected. I am also a DA fan and care enormously about this project." [source: the official BioWare Discord]

User: "How do we all think the companions for Veilguard flirt?". Violet: "depends on the companion fsfs" [source: the official BioWare Discord]

Violet: "soon™️" / "(not trying to be a shit, it will be soon! its a holdover joke from my last studio, i have to put the ™️ every time, its a sickness)" / "real talk, im just as feral as you guys when it comes to DA" / "[re: John being aware of a meme] that doesnt surprise me, [John] gets around 👀" [source: the official BioWare Discord]

[evilmoldywizard]

Hey guys, recently been turning evil about Stanford pines again because of book of bill, so here are some headcannons I have of him

- as someone (myself) who has a lot of hand issues that come from joints in places they shouldn't, I feel like he has a lot of chronic pain with his joints and wrists specifically. (I'm an avid Stanford pines finger splints believer), because just trying to make the anatomy work when drawing his hands makes mine sore just thinking about it. I feel like as he gets older especially he starts to need extra support for his fingers and wrists with all the tinkering with machinery, and stealing heavier tech parts he does.

- the scalp over the metal plate in his head has trouble growing hair like it used to before surgery, and its partially why his hair has started going gray heavier around that area, its overall a bit of an awkward patchy area, he doesn’t really care much though. It also gives him headaches whenever the weather is off, but he only really notices this when he is back home in the mystery shack.

- he of course is covered in more dumb tattoos that he picked up throughout the multiverse, as well as some actually good meaningful ones too. He's also had a lot badly removed but just enught that you can still see them faded.

-transgender because he just is

-i would say “did his own top surgery” but I feel like he would of never bothered, because of the recovery time. He would probably be one of those trans guys that just work out an insane amount to sort of even out the muscle.

- regularly gets confused/ straight up forgets details about the dimension he's in. (canon, I know but listen) he has been through so many versions of so many realitities and god knows how long he spent in each, trying to relearn customs, languages, names of things, etc, and genuinely gets upset when he forgets which pieces are from what dimensions. It just reminds him how much he has missed out on. This also leads to a lot of derealisation issues and paranoia about finally being in the right place.

-in some dimensions he has been able to study up and get some more degrees on some like really obscure topics. I feel like he did this in the really early years before he became an outlaw in nearly every dimension. He probably wanted to fall back into as familiar of a pattern as he could with all the constant chaos around him, academic approval is the closest thing he can feel like to having control over his current situation. It also kind of reminds him of Fiddleford, but he doesn't like to dwell on it, or really think too hard about it.

- he genuinely loves hearing about new changes to his home dimension from dipper and Mabel, even dumb little memes Mabel keeps showing him. He doesn’t really get it, but he just likes to be included.

-he visits Fiddleford almost every day since they reconnected. Trying to find pretty much any reason to see him. He misses him more than words can say and feels guilty about how things ended with them, and Fiddleford knows this. He just likes having Stanford around too much to say anything about how obvious he is being.

[thedivinevera]

❦Alternative❦

Your basic yandere x reader story but he is transported in the body of his variant who happens to cheat on you.

Imagine working so hard to make your darling fall in-love to you and you suddenly find out that another version of you in an alternate reality is cheating and wasting the love you blessed to his variant. - yandere!

(This is the more "headcanon" like post than the other one where it looks like a script/ convo of my Au uni)

Part 1 and 2

Yandere!multiple characters x gn reader

Tags: yandere x reader, male characters, established relationship, alternative Universe (Au), no gender reader, yandere au, cheating au, multiple characters

Tw! : Yandere, toxic relationship (2 types), CHEATING, unhealthy obsession, MENTIONED OF SELF HARM, mention of death, mention of murder, using profanity (curse). OOC CHARACTERS

A/N hellooo this is my first time doing a multiple character post (and my first post after a long hiatus,). Honestly there are a lot of fandoms I really want to contribute so I decided to just do this!!! So as a reminder; since this is multiple characters post, expect a lot of OOC

Yandere x reader but he's transported into another alternative Universe, where his variant cheated on you.

Yandere x reader but rather than seeing a traumatized reader (mainly caused by him) he sees an either a begging reader who desperately asks him how he could do this to them or a reader who's cold and seems to just don't give a fuck about him but either way it's far more better than seeing you traumatized and lifeless

Yandere x reader but he's comforting and promising to you that he will never do it again and if that means he would need to be put in a leash, camera in his house, or kill himself if he did it again, then so be it.

Yandere x reader but he killed the person he cheated with and hurt themselves intentionally in the process because his variant (the body) and that person is the reason why his beloved is hurting.

Yandere x reader but he manipulated you to accept him again by letting you see the scars he put in himself because "he" deserves it and put on a show that he's guilty that he couldn't live knowing he hurt you.

Yandere x reader but he's now treating you far better than his variant, of course excluding the fact that he's too possessive and obsessed with you, but hey! Atleast he's not fucking some person behind your back.

Yandere x reader but he never wants to go back to his alternative Universe because as long as you love and care for him he would never want to leave you again.

Yandere x reader but he's so fucking angry because in his world he had done everything to have what his variant have; you and he just waste it for a fucking whore.

Yandere x reader but he almost put himself in self destruction because this body is the same body that hurts you.

Yandere x reader but now everything that he had plan for the future is finally can be put in place.

Yandere x reader but he loves you so much to even think about cheating with you because he thinks that your love is an extension of his life and no matter what happen, no matter how beautiful the person is he would never think of cheating with you ever again .

Yandere x reader but he's ready to be put in lobotomy just to show he would never cheat on you :))

Some meme :)))

[miguelhugger2099]

Hiii, I’m in love with your writing it’s a comfort for me atp. Could you please do grumpy reader where she doesn’t talk to others a lot. That makes Miguel look like an extrovert (even though we both know that’s not true 😭). Happy Easter 🐣 and or any holiday you celebrate.

Two Peas in a Pod

c.....comfort,,,,, sad hamster meme the highest honor i could ever get omg thank you i really liked this ask because its basically me haha my friend actually told me ive gotten better at being more welcoming and "nice" and another friend would tell me that i could never mask my uncomfortableness if someone was bothering me LMFAO but as alwayyssssss i can rewrite this request for u if ur not satisfied :) Art: nellwhre17 on instagram

Spider-People were supposed to be funny and outgoing. It was in their canon to have some resemblance to the original quippy and humorous Spider-Man. If not outgoing then at least a little endearing and sweet.

So the Spider Society is a little thrown off when you’re introduced to the team by Miguel. Both of your arms are crossed, your face blank and looking over other Spiders with neutrality. 

“Here’s our new recruit. She’ll be working more with Margo and Lyla. Think of her as one of your superiors like myself or Jess or Peter B.” Miguel tilts his head at all the other Spiders. “That’s all. Dismissed.”

He turns to face back to his console, returning to work on new files Lyla had presented to him. Some Spiders stay to chat with you. They don’t notice the slight discomfort and annoyance in your face.

“Hey! My name is Peter M! I think we might be the same age!” One says, his mask squinting to look like he’s smiling.

“Have you gone on a mission yet? What Earth are you from?”

“Has Miguel explained The Canon to you yet? It’s a little overwhelming, I know.”

The commotion irks you a bit, the Spiders coming into your personal space so you shuffle away and your brows instinctively scrunch together. “No, I’m fine.” You mutter curtly. The others finally see the change in your demeanor and they awkwardly step back.

Miguel turns over to see the few Spiders around and barks at them to stop. “She’s still new to all this so don’t go around pestering her.” 

They smile wearily up at him then at you, whose face is still contorted a bit in a way that looks like you’re obviously still being bothered. 

They get the message and wave goodbye to you but not without feeling a chill down their spine at how cold you were. Maybe you were just shy. Everything is and always will be overwhelming around here with different variants of yourself. So, they believed in time you’d come around like the others.

You, in fact, did not come around. After weeks, months even, you still came in and left without a word. Get in and get out. You rarely engaged in conversation and if you were in a group, you’d keep to yourself. If someone tried to include you, you’d just say a few blunt words that didn’t move the conversation at all so there'd be an awkward standstill before moving on.

No matter what, no one knew anything else about you besides your name, you were a Spider-Woman and the name of your Earth.

Even the esteemed group of young SpiderLings couldn’t even get you to open up. Jess and Gwen had just come back from a mission, wanting to eat at the cafeteria before heading home. They had found seats beside Hobie and Pav who were just catching up together.

Pav had mentioned trying to talk to you once but his bright personality pushed you further and further away from him, your responses to his questions becoming more and more short and quick.

“I’ve never met such a complicated individual.” He pouts, crossing his arms on the table.

“Don’ bother me none. I don’ like someone tryin’ to bug me either.” Hobie scratches the back of his neck. 

“Would’ve thought they opened up by now.” Gwen brushed her hair out her face. “It’s like pulling teeth with her.”

“She just seems kinda grumpy sometimes…” Pav sighs resting his head in his arms. “Even more than Miguel which feels wrong.” 

“Yeah, at least Miguel snaps at you but she…kinda just sits there.” Gwen leans back with a weak smile. “Not really sure how to make conversation when she’s so quiet.”

“She just doesn’t feel like talking, guys. Go easy on her.” Jess rubs her temples. 

Their conversation is cut short when Miguel walks through the cafeteria, documents in hand and with you in tow. Speak of the Devil. 

“Jess, Gwen, I misremembered about giving you the reports of your last mission together. I also have the analysis for the next one on Earth—199B.” Miguel hands the reports to Jessica and she immediately skims through it. Gwen looks over her shoulder and gives you a smile.

“Hey, how’s it going?” She asks. 

You respond with a shrug and a nod. “Good.”

Gwen’s smile wavers, laughing nervously as the awkward silence. She expected some sort of greeting back. 

Miguel answers for you. “She’s been with me the whole day since Peter’s been busy at home.” Gwen looks to Miguel.

“And how about you, boss? Doin’—uh—doin’ good?”

Miguel sighs, crossing his arms. “Better now that Margo fixed what Hobie broke in the console room.”

Hobie tsks. “Did not. You’re jus’ blamin’ me ‘cause I’m the scapegoat around ‘ere. Tha’ it?” 

Miguel pulls up camera footage from his Gizmo, of Hobie pulling apart different motherboards and CPUs from the server and tucking them away in his pocket. “Is this not you?!”

Hobie squints at the footage and shrugs. “AI has truly come a long way, mate. Bettah check tha’ out.”

Gwen, Pav and Jessica laugh at the scene, giggling at the sheer anger on Miguel’s face and Hobies indifference. You watch with a soft smile up at Miguel but nothing else.

Miguel feels your hand on his forearm and he looks down at you. You nod your head to the side, signaling it’s time to go. He looks at the time on his watch and collects himself. 

“We’re gonna head out. Don’t bother us unless there’s an emergency and be alert for any sudden messages should I need to contact any of you for anomalies.” He turns and gives a small wave before leaving, you trailing behind him.

You don’t say much other than looking behind to give them a small nod and following beside Miguel.

The group watches as Miguel talks to you, relating information and talking your ear off about missions and the to-do for the day. You listen quietly, eyes held on his and nodding along.

They glance at each other and think they would’ve never seen a person more closed off than Miguel in their lifetime. Even less where it looks like he’s more talkative compared to you. What an odd pair. “I think she has opened up. Maybe just not with us.” Jess leans back with a smile.

[victorbutnotreally]

OMG I'M FINALLY FINDING A BLOG WHICH IS MY CUP OF TEA. YOU'RE AWESOMEEEEE

i have an idea but i can't write for shit, so i'll give it to my favorite tumblr writer (which is youuu)

smau where han messages the wrong number and it's some guy from like another country. and they become friends and then han comes to find out that his text pal is actually a celeb he fanboys over.

(bonus points if mn knows han as well)

OMG - Han Jisung x Male Reader

A/N: Love that!! Thank you sm for requesting <3 (I can't title things for the life of me, so you can ask for a different title in the replies and I'll change it) French music makes writing so much more fun.

warnings: slight swearing

blue {} - han purple {} - Mn

{Oh. How nice of this person to wish me a good practice session.

"Is he getting here anytime soon?" Minho's voice echoed through the practice room.

"I'll ask!"

When he opened his phone again to change the number, he saw a familiar figure in the random person's profile picture. Mn Ln. Finally, someone who he can rant about the Mn Ln. }

{ Great. Got my hopes up for nothing }

{ Naturally, Mn wouldn't want his personal number leaked. So he lied. He was surprised at how smooth that was, but hey, it's text. He wanted to know more, though. Is that narcissistic?

He set his coffee mug down on his nightstand and looked a lot more like a contortionist as he continued to text, the risk of spilling coffee being gone now. }

{ Being called the best vocalist ever was certainly not something he expected. He was great, sure, but the best? Not when Freddie Mercury has music out there. But he'll take that compliment.

He was impressed at the fan. 'Achilles, my love" was one of his more niche songs, having been written when he was only 15 when he got completely shattered after reading 'The Song of Achilles' and decided to pour his heart and soul into a song which he released years later.}

{They don't know Mn yet, but who wouldn't like him after listening to Achilles my love? The way Jisung made the members listen to Mn's music was like a little kid making their parents watch Frozen. But the members never complained, the music was really good. Would they roll their eyes when Jisung keeps sending Mn memes into the groupchat? Sure. Did they have certain parts of certain songs memorized because Jisung kept watching his edits on repeat? Oh yes. }

{Mn didn't want his identity leaked. He had to think of a name quick. Chris, as in Bang Chan from Stray Kids was what came to mind. }

At the Paris Fashion Week

{Jisung found a spot away from the cameras and was texting 'Chris'. After a few months of them being 'text pals', he was pretty fond of the random citizen. But despite the sheer amount of songs, pictures, and videos he's sent of Mn, 'Chris' was never as obsessed with him as Jisung was.}

{Holding a glass of champagne in his hand and dearly missing his coffee, Mn who was decked head to toe in Hermes, makes his way over to the figure he recognized as Han Jisung of Stray Kids. How he loved that band. He was listening to Han's song 'Volcano' on the way there. As he goes to talk to him, his eyes caught onto the rapper's phone screen. And by instinct, he accidentally read a few texts. Texts that were from him. He wanted to tell Jisung, but how?}

"Hi! Huge fan, Jisung.." Jisung's eyes widened as he shoved his phone into his pocket and extended his hand for a handshake. It was his first time seeing his favorite singer in real life.

"Oh my god...you..sorry, I'm just flustered all of a sudden. I'm your biggest fan, really."

"I appreciate it. We should collab someday." "Yes!!" Was that too loud? No, right?

Mn was endeared by the enthusiasm. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it.

"Care for a selfie?"

"I'd love to.." Jisung tried keeping his voice from sounding too loud and excited as he smiled beautifully in the selfie he took with the singer. He took one on his phone as well, along with a photo of just Mn, not being able to resist the opportunity.

A/N: I'm ending so abruptly since I have really bad writer's block rn and I didn't even know how I posted this much. If you have any ideas on how Jisung finds out he's been texting Mn all this time, then let me know in the replies or send a DM.

[roguerambles]

All Morning

Tekken - Jin Kazama x Reader x Hwoarang

Warnings - 18+Only.

Writer's Block still has me in a chokehold, but with Tekken 8 coming SOON, I wanted to try something short and fluffy with these two.

I've said it before, but there is a criminal lack of Tekken x Reader out there and we as a society should rectify this post-haste--

Enjoy the Rambles!

-

You awoke to the sounds of Jin and Hwoarang fighting.

This was hardly an unusual occurrence, but you had been greatly looking forward to a long, peaceful, lazy morning, and they had promised to behave. You squeezed your eyes shut, desperately trying to will yourself back into slumber--

"You are doing it wrong--"

"Outta the way!"

"Pitiful."

"What'd you say?!"

There was a loud crash as the sound of something in your kitchen smashing on the floor made you wince, and you forced your eyes open, glowering at the ceiling as Jin and Hwoarang continued to hiss at each through the thin walls of your apartment.

One morning...just one....

A thick cloud of irritation quickly rolled over you, obscuring the bright sunshine trickling through your bedroom window. Kicking the blankets off you roughly, you swung your feet off the side of the bed, grumbling under your breath as you marched towards the door.

"I swear if you two have wrecked my kitchen again—”

You shoved the door open and marched across your living room, squinting in the glare of sunlight shining through the bay windows. Jin and Hwoarang’s heads snapped towards you, their eyes wide. The were stood across from each other, a scattered bowl at their feet, their clothes….

…covered in flour.

You stared at Jin and Hwoarang, who both stared back, mutely. You were beginning to think you were still asleep.

It was Jin who spoke first, his voice a low, irritated huff as he stepped around Hwoarang, kneeling down to begin clearing up the shattered bowl on the kitchen floor. “Now look what you’ve done.” He snapped at the red haired man. Hwoarang’s expressed soured as tore his gaze away from you to glower at Jin.

“What did you say?! You sayin this is my fault—”

“Yes.”

“Why I outta--!”

“Are you two making pancakes?”

Both men fell silent once more. You stared at them, then at the cluttered countertop – eggs, mixing bowls, an unholy amount of flour and sugar and strawberry syrup—

“…it was his idea.” Hwoarang grumbled, scowling at a corner of the kitchen that had somehow gravely offended him. Jin shot Hwoarang an irritated glance, while you rubbed your eyes, blinking a few times afterwards at the scene before you.

…yes, definitely not dreaming.

“Do you two even know how to make pancakes?” You asked. Jin gestured towards the countertop, where Hwoarang’s phone sat.

“…Xiaoyu sent us instructions.”

Hwoarang snorted. “Yeah. Instructions. In between all the memes and emojis—”

“They are simple enough to follow, if Hwoarang would listen for once—”

“Eh?! You trying to fight—”

“Why are you making pancakes in the first place?”

Both men fell silent again. Jin stared somewhere above your head, while Hwoarang rubbed the back of his neck. They seemed…bashful.

You folded your arms, realisation beginning to dawn on you, a smile twitching onto your lips. “Guys….”

“We have not had a morning together in some time.” Jin said finally, beginning to look slightly sheepish. “I…thought it would be…nice.”

…God, you adored those beautiful fools.

Smiling, you stepped around the counter, leaning up to softly brush your lips against Jin’s cheek. His eyes widened slightly, the faintest tint of red on his skin. “You’re sweet.” You murmured in his ear. He chuckled slightly, his palm sliding over to your hip.

“Hey.” Hwoarang cut in, lips tugging downwards in a sharp frown, puffing like a bird whose feathers had been thoroughly ruffled. “I helped—”

“Hardly.”

“That’s it, right here, Kazama—”

You laughed, catching Hwoarang’s forearm, tugging him towards you so you could press a kiss to his jawline. He grumbled, glaring at Jin over your head, his arms slipping around your waist. You trailed your fingers over his arm, while your free hand grazed slowly up Jin’s torso.

“So, if this is all for me…” You hummed thoughtfully, and both Jin and Hwoarang paused in their bickering, their heads snapping towards you as you smiled coyly at them. “…does that mean I get to make requests?”

Both men looked at each other, then back at you. “I suppose.” Jin said, stepping closer towards you, his eyes moving over you like a slow caress.

You felt Hwoarang press into your back, his rough hands sliding around your hips, a pleased grin spreading across his handsome face. “I guess.” His voice was low in your ear, wicked promises in his tone. “What is it you want, hmmmm…?”

You already had something in mind.

-

“You are so cute when you pout, Hwoarang.”

The red head responded by glowering at you from the kitchen, aggressively stirring the large mixing bowl tucked against his arm. The toned muscle of his abdomen flexed and contracted with every movement, and he turned sharply towards the back counter, giving you an uninterrupted view of his broad shoulders, the naked expanse of his back trailing down to narrow hips, his low hanging pants snuggly accentuating his perfectly formed—

“Coffee?”

You tore your eyes away from Hwoarang to get a new, equally pleasing eyeful of a half-naked Jin Kazama holding a fresh mug of coffee under your nose. You made an appreciative sound – not entirely because of the beverage – and accepted it with a smile, while Jin rolled his eyes slightly and headed back towards the kitchen to finish making breakfast. You settled back onto the couch, sipping from your mug as you admired the morning view of two unreasonably gorgeous, half-dressedmen making you pancakes.

“This isn’t what I was thinking of...” Hwoarang grumbled as Jin rejoined him in the kitchen. You smiled brightly and lifted your mug in salute.

“It’s what I was thinking.” You tilted your head, eyes trailing down Jin’s abdomen, shamelessly admiringly the way the sun caressed his flawlessly carved physique, the smooth roll of Hwoarang’s muscles beneath his smooth skin. “Although I confess, reality is better than my imagination…”

“Thank you.” Jin said, his tone dry as paper. His large hands closed around a jar of sugar, tugging the lid off – the muscles of his arms flexed and bulged downright indecently, and you knew you caught the hint of a smile on his lips as he caught your gaze lingering. Hwoarang scoffed, but you caught him tensing slightly as he reached into the cupboard, the muscles in his back flexing deliciously, his sharp gaze catching yours over his shoulder.

You were beginning to contemplate requesting to forget about breakfast entirely, but you reminded yourself to be patient.

The three of you had all morning, after all.