#but he's waited so long for solo debut

[maximura]

Well. Fuck SM Entertainment and Chris Lee for keeping Yuta's talent from us All This Time. If you haven't already seen it, please watch his MV 'Off The Mask'. Who knew he had that kind of rock voice? Not me. I'm shocked. I don't know if he will be promoting it properly like Jaehyun but he should. He's spent so much of his NCT career getting utterly screwed over.

[certifiedmaidenlessblog]

The good thing about the company not giving a flying fawk about his debut is that he got to make his decisions and I'm happy with that actually

[dvrk-moon]

ENHYPEN ; 엔하이픈

HAVING AN IDOL S/O

requested : yes!!!

genre : fluff, crack

pairing : enhypen ot7 x fem!reader

warnings : cursing, this is long asfk LOL

HEESEUNG ; 희승

so you two trained together

and you mutually liked each other while training but didn’t really talk much

you ended up leaving bighit in early 2018 and going to train at cube instead

so you lost contact

but you ended up debuting as the maknae of (g)i-dle

and since you debuted before enhypen, you were more well known than they were initially

you were one of the more famous members in the group in korea, so your face was pretty inescapable

so imagine heeseung’s reaction when he sees a birthday ad for you for the first time

mind literally blown

so he’s like looking you and your group up to see if it’s really you (it is)

and he’s like damn i gotta get in contact with her again

but he doesn’t have an opportunity because even from a friends standpoint, he didn’t really have time because he had to focus on training and eventually going through i-land

ok skip forward and he’s debuted yay!!!!!

so you had a promotion period that’d lined up around a year and a half later where you made a duo debut with your member shuhua while enha was promoting manifesto

and heeseung saw you backstage once

between him seeing you for the first time up until that point he’d literally been trying to find out how to talk to you again

and this was his opportunity!

so before you went to perform heeseung approached you randomly

and lowkey you’d forgotten about heeseung until you saw him again lol

and you’re like oh hey… so awkward because what do you genuinely say to someone you haven’t talked to in like four years

but when you remember that he’s the heeseung that you talked to during your trainee days (the same heeseung you had a thing for) you are more willing to talk to him

but then your conversation is cut short because you have to go perform your song

when you come back, he’s still waiting for you :((((

like that man is COMMITTED to getting to talk to you again

so then after like thirty minutes of talking (right before he has to go promote his song) he finally gets the courage to ask for your number

and you’re like shit yeah

so he texts you like every day

and during your overlapping promotions, he tries to meet up with you backstage as frequently as possible

so eventually you gain feelings for him again (and he obviously does for you) and you start hanging out

but then he goes on tour for a while

you miss him a lot

and he misses you a lot

so when he comes back, he impulsively like picked you up while hugging and you’re like um okay MARRY ME

one hangout he finally asks you out (as more than friends) and you’re so excited

so you quickly begin dating :)

dating him is definitely like dating your number one supporter

like he makes it a point to meet you backstage (even if you don’t have an overlapping promotion) and he makes you teach him your choreography

and you’re like “heeseung i can teach you this at your or my dorm” and he’s like “nope i need everyone here to know that you only teach me your dances”

you’re like “???” but don’t question it bc he’s just odd

he prefers you to go over to his dorms because of his solo room but he’s not opposed to making friends with your members even though they’re all older than him

just know if you go over to enha’s dorms though they will 100% try to be around you all the time

and don’t get heeseung wrong, he obviously wanted the members to like you, but he also wasn’t anticipating his own girlfriend being stolen from him

you almost get caught by dispatch a couple times

but dispatch fr fr catches him at MAMA

like this man was so protective of his idol image for so long and the he watched your performance and dispatch was like “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”

does not gaf if you’re exposed tho bc he’s like “yup that’s my girlfriend suck it she’s MINE”

JAY ; 제이

so you debuted before him

by like a year and a half, so like january 2019

you were one of the members of itzy, which was the talk of the town for quite some time

and jay was actually a huge fan of your group since he was a trainee

your group had a few hit songs in korea but jay made it seem like every song of yours (yes this includes b sides)

you’d been his bias since your teaser dropped ofc

and he made it everyone’s problem to listen to your music during practice

even during i-land there were clips of him doing the shoulder move from ‘wannabe’

but i digress

so once his debut place is secured as of i-land episode 12 he was so excited that he might have the opportunity of meeting you

but like. he had to be normal about it

so he freaked out about you respectfully

but “respectfully” to him was mentioning you as his role model and ideal type

on like every variety program possible

like damn we get it!!!!

but your and his companies thought it would be just so silly and funny if they brought you out to meet him the next time he mentioned you

and so they did exactly that!!!

he was on weekly idol and all of a sudden you came out from where the staff were filming

he actually almost fainted on the spot

and you thought it was sooo cute that he was that flattered over meeting you

so you approached him and asked him for his number

cue him almost passing out pt 2

but you end up talking quite a bit

like u come visit him quite often and he comes to visit you

and he like is literally like the perfect talking stage

so it takes like zero time for you guys to actually start dating

but when he can’t visit you he’s texting you all the time

“your stage was so good how are you real”

always buying albums for each other for support

and he’s like $$ so he buys a ton of yours (and of his if you want some)

he gets so excited when he pulls your photocard and is so happy when you pull his because he thinks it’s fate

but the one time he caught riki’s photocard in the back of your phone he swapped it out for his almost immediately

he always jokes about his bias being yuna, and so you’ve started to make a point of saying your bias is jungwon and sunghoon

and because you did that you took a picture of you and jungwon once to send to him like “proof that my bias is jungwon”

that pic became his lock screen btw

you one time said that you were an enhypen fan and midzy and engene were freaking out

they were like “just date already smh”

little did they know that you already were!

JAKE ; 제이크

you were a year and a half their junior

and you debuted in kep1er

so the time that they were promoting blessed cursed you were promoting wa da da

and like you’d just debuted too

so you had just done a stage and were on your way to your groups van to go back to the dorms

and you go to enter the first black van you see with an open door

and instead of your members you’re met with jake sunghoon sunoo!

you turned red immediately and ran in the other direction to actually find your van where yujin, yeseo, chaehyun, and hiyyih were waiting for you

you told your members and they thought it was so funny

but jokes on them

because the very next week, jake had accidentally walked into your waiting room at mcountdown

who’s laughing now!!! (you are)

after the incident, he found you and came to apologize for walking in

and you were like “ohhh that’s so funny because i actually was the one who came into your van last week!”

but after the apologies were exchanged, you two ended up walking around backstage anyways and just talking about anything and everything

after you and your members had to go perform, jake just waited for you backstage

and once you were done performing you came back and talked to him more ! yay !

but then soon enha had to go on to perform b-c and by the time he came back, your group had already left :’(

it’s okay though because you left your phone number on a post-it that said “FOR JAKE” in their waiting room

enhypen teased him so hard but he was like whatever at least i got her number

so he texted you like almost immediately

soon after, you two texted like all the time and started meeting backstage whenever it was possible

jake asked you out for the first time right before you went on stage to perform and obviously you said yes

but when you went to perform, your voice was such a bright red color that it went viral amongst kep1ians (and later other fandoms)

after that stage, jake and you just sat and talked in the kep1er waiting room for sooooo long

he’s literally the biggest fan of your group

like he’s so open and genuine about how much he likes your group, and he always somehow has one of your songs on his recommendation playlists

and those songs will somehow always be sandwiched between the most beautiful love songs ever and it makes engenes go 🤨🤨

you also are open about being a fan of them

so basically your fans and his have already put two and two together very quickly

but the suspicions were confirmed when he posted a late-night river view picture on weverse and then you posted something extremely similar a couple days later

winning the idgaf war about people finding out though

like he’s like DONTTTT CAREEEEE <3 MY GF

he actually thinks it’d be better if people knew so that no one would try anything on you because you’re taken

SUNGHOON ; 성훈

you were the seventh member of ive, also known as wonyoung’s group

and like wonyoung is your bff

she knew you found sunghoon cute from all the times you’d asked her if you could come visit her on music bank days

so she wanted to play matchmaker!

(love me not reference?!?!)

anyways

she gets “sick” once and is like “hey y/n why don’t you stand in for me?”

and you’re like “yeah sure whatever idc it’s chill”

it’s not chill

for reference, sunghoon also thought it was going to be chill, because he had no idea that you were standing in for wonyoung

little did wonyoung know, sunghoon also found you very attractive

ofc he would’ve tried to get your number through wonyoung, but he was too introverted to even think about it

so when you get there, both of your faces are pretty red, but your cheeks at least cool down by the time you’re recording

his do not 😭

he’s like sneaking looks at you and shit

he thought he was being so subtle too about it like bye 😭😭

but fans love the interactions!!!!

and they’re sooooo stoked to have jungwon sunoo and sunghoon on the radio that you host after the fact

sunghoon fucking DRESSES for the occasion too like damn

and like you made a point to be like “nice outfit”

on the outside he was like “yeah it’s whatever” but on the inside he was shitting his pants

anyways

and so you asked him for his number because you wanted “fashion tips” (you’re a liar)

so the first time he asks you out he’s like “let me style u an outfit”

and then while doing that he’s like “let’s date!”

and you’re like “well alright”

(jk u were just as stoked)

and dating him is so relieving

because you don’t have to keep the relationship (at least beyond friends) a secret

fans love the interactions

and so when you guys actually announce the relationship everyone is so hyped

like they already expected it

but still

he never misses an opportunity to talk about you on live or on a variety show

the interviewer is like “so, sunghoon, what was your favorite part of this comeback?”

he thinks for a second. then all of a sudden, “well y/n-”

like bro we get it

he just does not even care tho bc he’s so down bad

SUNOO ; 선우

okay now so remember when sunoo was a radio dj?

yeah

so you debuted in billlie, and your song, gingamingayo had just been released

and sunoo had heard it quite a few times already on his dj show

and he’s like “ok damn i get it let me look up the song”

he became a fan so quickly

like learned the choreo and everything

so the following week on the radio show he’s like “oh have you guys heard this song it’s so good actually i’m a fan of this group”

and then BOOM next week you’re on the show he radio djs for

chemistry between u guys went CRAZY

and then you filmed a tiktok together

and posted it like a week after the radio episode had gone viral

engenes and belllie’ves went crazy

you guys had already exchanged numbers at that point too

so getting to laugh about your fans freaking out was super fun to you two

you started visiting him at radio show schedules in secret after the fact

so he ends up asking you out about a month later

and ofc you say yes

so once you started dating, he would visit you at your schedules a lot

you would often pretend to be a staff member at the radio show so you could be there without raising much question

but then one time you were a “special guest” on the radio show again, and you filmed another tiktok, but this time it wasn’t like one of your group’s dance challenges

it was like a cute trend

so once you got the okay to post it, you did

this confirmed to engenes and belllie’ves that you were friends at the very least

he always finds a way to sing your songs on live

doesn’t ever sing when it’s your part though 🤨🤨🤨 it’s almost like he wants to hear your voice

one time he came to one of your fansigns “anonymously”

people found out it was him so quickly 😭

he’s so shameless about people knowing though

after that, fans basically already know you’re dating even if you don’t outright say anything

nobody actually cares though

they’re just waiting for that third y/noo tiktok 🙏

JUNGWON ; 정원

you debuted in illit, as a result of the belift survival show “r u next?”

you came in first place, just like jungwon did on i-land

so naturally, under the same sublabel, illit and enhypen passed each other quite frequently

you’ve actually interacted quite a bit with the other members

but for some reason, their leader was a bit standoffish to you

and you had absolutely no idea why he would be

you thought that maybe it was because you’d also come in first place on your respective survival show, so maybe he had one sided beef with you?

it didn’t make sense but that’s just what you assumed

actually ☝️🤓 jungwon had a big fat crush on you

and had no idea what to do about it

like he secretly supported you on r u next? and everything

so eventually, belift decides to make a variety show for illit and enha

as the first place winners, you two are paired together, along with your japanese maknaes, ni-ki and iroha

iroha and ni-ki were already acquainted, so iroha told ni-ki about how funny it was that you and jungwon were in the same group, given that jungwon hated you

and ni-ki’s like ?!

so he like goes up to jungwon and is like “she thinks you hate her bro”

he’s so embarrassed to find out that you thought he hated you

ni-ki teases him so hard about it

so eventually jungwon admits to you (off-camera) that he doesn’t hate you, and in fact he’s quite fond of you

it lifts the biggest weight off his chest when you also admit that you’re fond of him, and that he was your role model ever since you’d joined r u next?

after filming, you two exchange numbers

he’s such a baby like seriously how could you think he hated you

it doesn’t take long AT ALL for you to start dating

in fact hybe/belift encourages it because they think it’ll be good exposure for both groups

and it highkey is

in korea, you guys gain the title of “first place couple” and omgggg knetz eat that up

you’re invited on a ton of variety shows together

jungwon is sooooo so supportive and is lowkey a stan of your group

he like sends you your fancams and is like “teach me this dance pls”

when your two groups pass each other in the hallways, enha and illit always make it a point to tease you two

you guys don’t mind though because at least you have each other ☝️☝️

RIKI ; 니키

you debuted as the maknae of loona

so you’d been in the industry a few years longer than enhypen had

so riki knew of you, but you weren’t super familiar with them

but the both of you were invited onto a variety program for foreign idols

you ended up becoming more familiar with them after being paired together with riki for a couple challenges

one interaction you had made you two go completely viral after executing a twice choreography together extremely well

both bbc and belift saw this as an opportunity to make some money, so they kinda forced you and riki to get close

little did they know that’s what you both wanted anyways lol

so like you’ll have a live with him

or you’ll film a tiktok together

or you’ll post something together

etc

somewhere along the lines you two start dating in secret

namely after you two filmed a live together

and he saw one of the comments that said “y/n please do perfect idol challenge” and you started doing the perfect idol dance on live

you started giggling because you started to forget the dance because you were embarrassed and he was smiling like a fucking maniac and then he realized he really really liked you more than a friend

and so soon after he didn’t wanna waste any more time and he just confessed that he liked you

and you were like “no way me too!!!!”

(everyone could tell)

it wasn’t super in secret though

because belift/bbc had that “bffs for life” image for you two

so you could interact freely

it just took every bone in riki’s body to not grab your hand and pull you into his arms during a dance live

but then womp womp

dispatch exposes you guys like four months into the relationship

no one cares though (except delulu fans)

so when you terminate your contract with bbc for the mistreatment, engenes beg you to audition for hybe/belift because they’re afraid if you go somewhere else you won’t be able to interact freely with him anymore and they love your interactions

you end up joining ctd, which is the company of one of the post-loona acts, along with five of your ex-members

luckily ctd is a good company so they let you and riki still stay together and still have your lives

one time riki was doing a weverse live and you showed up

and fans absolutely LOVED it

ctd is an unknown company so they unexpectedly got a lot more sales with this relationship

they were like DAMN OK

anyways

you guys teach each other your choreos A LOT

like a lot

riki eats them up so bad like fans start saying he’s the seventh member of your group 😭

a/n : had to include illit in this somehow i love them they’re so cute. sorry for the lack of posts i am sooooooo fucking busy and this was in the drafts for forever

[hyunjinners]

✧:･ﾟ Stray Kids react → you declaring yourself to them ˚₊· ꒰🌿꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊ members' reaction when you declare yourself to them.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊ot8¡ x non/idol!fem¡reader

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊cute, comfort, friends to lovers.

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊none, just cute stray kids stuff.

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊4,1k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊I'm really addicted to writing skz compilations ;) In some parts the reader is not an idol, I ended up getting excited and forgot about the plot haha remembering that English is not my first language! I apologize in advance if there are any spelling and/or grammatical errors. Enjoy reading - feedback is appreciated. ^-^

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 ... 𖥔

・✦ You became trainees at the same time and that's when you met and got closer.

・✦ He would sneak food in for you, given the strict diet the company forced you to follow, and you couldn't be more grateful to him.

・✦ the care and zeal he has for you captivated you and strengthened your relationship even after both of your debuts.

・✦ You debuted solo and he couldn't be more proud, always supporting you even when he was busy with the group's busy schedule.

・✦ Some time after your great success as a solo artist, some acquaintances from high school attacked you on social media, creating a situation claiming that you were bullying some of them.

・✦ You got really upset with all the hate and false claims and it all got worse when the company forced you to go on hiatus.

・✦ Chan, being the cutest and most understanding person you knew, was by your side comforting you and whispering comforting words in your ear while wrapping you in a hug.

・✦ Perhaps because of the heat of the moment or adrenaline, you unconsciously let out the three most comforting and perhaps feared words for many people.

・✦ He was in shock for a few seconds and his breathing hitched when he felt the caress he was giving his head stop.

・✦ He pushed you away and looked into your eyes to see if he had heard correctly, still in disbelief about the words he had previously said and even more shocked about his future ones.

・✦ "I have always loved you. I can't hide my feelings that I have felt for so long. You have always been by my side and I never had the opportunity to be clear with you, so… thank you. For supporting me and for everything you've done for me in general."

・✦ After his sincerity it was her turn to be shocked when she felt his soft lips join hers.

・✦ he loved you too.

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 ... 𖥔

・✦ You are childhood best friends where you have established an intimate and somewhat fun relationship. You have always teased each other a little but clearly with affection - even if it doesn't seem like it.

・✦ You debuted a year after him, following him closely and both supporting each other in moments of so much pressure.

・✦ It all happened when you were backstage at the first Stray Kids awards. You were in the front row to see up close the achievement of the boys who were still so young and evolving so quickly.

・✦ When it was all over, you didn't even wait for him to move away from the boys to jump into his arms. He held you, a sweet laugh escaping his lips at the feeling of ecstasy and happiness.

・✦ you hugged him tightly and pulled away, looking at him with a sincere smile and a loving sparkle in your eyes, your heart almost jumping out of your chest with pride.

・✦ "I'm so proud of you I could kiss you!" He looked at you in shock, a playful smile on his lips. "What did you say?" "Minho, just-" he came dangerously close and whispered close to her face, his warm breath making her stomach feel strange. "You can."

・✦ Adrenaline took over you and before you knew it you were kissing your childhood best friend deeply and passionately.

・✦ You didn't know what your relationship would be like from now on, but you were sure it was worth a try.

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔

・✦ You met through your parents who had a professional partnership that sparked a friendship, consequently causing Changbin and you to get together.

・✦ You are two years younger than him, so when you both decided to become idols together, he ended up entering first - at your parents' request.

・✦ You were from different companies, but that didn't divide you, in fact it helped to avoid future possible rumors.

・✦ you would constantly visit each other in the dorms for movie nights or go out really late, going to the nearest convenience store to try different flavors of ramen while telling each other about their day.

・✦ you constantly helped each other with health issues, always asking each other about food and if they were keeping up with an exercise routine, where he convinced her to train with him and he wouldn't accept any other answer than yes.

・✦ But the time you enjoyed spending together the most was during your free time, when you could visit your parents together.

・✦ On one of those occasions, you were responsible for taking care of your younger sister while your parents were away and he accepted the task along with you.

・✦ She is small but very energetic, so it was a somewhat complicated task. Changbin had a way with kids, so he had some super cute moments with her, making you wonder if your sister liked you or him more.

・✦ You were cutting fruit on the kitchen counter while watching Changbin play with the girl.

・✦ Smiling, you take the bowls of fruit into the living room as you sit down next to them. You let out a laugh when you see your sister snort at having to move away from Changbin to eat.

・✦ "You have a way with kids. I think you'll be a good father." You whisper softly next to Changbin, who almost choked on the comment. He looks at you perplexed with an unconscious smile on his face.

・✦ "do you think? I mean, I really like kids, so…" He looks dreamily at his sister and you can't ignore the butterflies in your stomach that insist on appearing whenever you're around him.

・✦ "I'm sure your future wife will be very lucky. You are handsome, affectionate, intelligent, funny... I bet she'll love it so much." You laugh, biting into your fruit, not realizing the effect you had on Changbin.

・✦ "What- what did you say?" You're both silent for a while as you ponder your response. Sighing, you slowly observe his reaction, "Honestly?... I would like to be that future wife. I like you, Changbin. I don't think I was lying when I said I would love you very much." He coughs, choking on a piece of apple. You despair, helping him to choke. With wide eyes in surprise, he holds your shoulders and looks you straight in the eyes.

・✦ "You're kidding, aren't you?"

・✦ "... No, I'm not, Changbin. I really like you." He leaned over and wrapped her in a hug, his sister just staring blankly.

・✦ He also dreams of having children with you.

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔

・✦ you meet when you bump into each other at a cafe near his company.

・✦ He had just debuted as an idol, so he wasn't that well-known on the street yet, but you recognized him.

・✦ You were the first person who recognized him and he was very happy that the first fan who recognized him was a girl as beautiful as you.

・✦ It turned out that you often showed up at this cafe to study to get into college and he ended up becoming friends with you.

・✦ he felt like you were an angel sent by destiny to be his lifeline, supporting him in everything he did and always giving the best advice for his own good, as well as being present in both the happiest and most difficult moments of his life.

・✦ he didn't know how to express his enormous gratitude, so he just reciprocated the actions by being with you in the time of pressure before and during college, celebrating your entry with you and always taking you out to distract your mind whenever he could.

・✦ and things changed between you during one of these walks. There was a flower festival that happened once a year that you were extremely excited to go to. You planned the trip for weeks and he couldn't say no.

・✦ The festival went on from afternoon to night, so you were able to watch the sunset together amidst the lilies he insisted on giving you as a gift.

・✦ you rested your head on his shoulder as you sat on a wooden bench in a place that allowed a beautiful view of the horizon.

・✦ "I wish time would stop right here, I wish I could stay with you like this forever." Hyunjin felt his ears heat up, petting his hair in response. "Me too. It was an amazing day, yes."

・✦ you stared at him deeply and he looked back, trying to read your expression. Immersed in desire and passion, you hold the back of his neck, leaning in for a soft kiss, your lips barely touching as you touch him.

・✦ perplexed, he widened his eyes, still a little scared, but returning the kiss in a more intense way, his hands unconsciously going towards her waist.

・✦ pulling away with your lips parted from the lack of air, you rest your forehead against his, a happy laugh leaving your lips.

・✦ "I'm glad you didn't push me" Still a little disoriented, Hyunjin laughs at your silly comment, longing for more of your lips on his.

・✦ "never." He leans in again, captivating her lips affectionately.

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 ... 𖥔

・✦ the way they met was actually a bit chaotic. You were running through the company's corridors, late again for another rehearsal, when you bumped into Jisung, spilling the coffee he had in his hands all over herself.

・✦ He became desperate, apologizing as if it was all his fault for not looking forward. In the midst of despair, you could only laugh and without understanding anything he accompanied you laughing, even though he had a desperate look on his face, thinking you wanted to kill him.

・✦ The following week he came to you with a new sweatshirt in hand and you were enchanted by how sweet and thoughtful he was. In return, you bought the coffee that spilled from his hands with a cute note apologizing and thanking him for the sweatshirt.

・✦ After that, your friendship began with the ritual of buying each other coffee with a cute note asking about their day or a motivational phrase.

・✦ During a Stray Kids performance, you were in the front row happily cheering for the group's next achievement. When the performance was over, you gave them a standing ovation and didn't miss the wink Jisung threw your way, making you smile.

・✦ Three days later you were surprised when the media linked Jisung to you, making thousands of theories about both of you being together. You were heavily criticized and received a lot of hate from people who claimed to be "stays", causing you to step away for a short period of time.

・✦ a week later, Jisung was in front of your apartment and when you realized it you were already crying in his arms on the couch in your apartment.

・✦ he kisses the top of your head, speaking comforting words into your ear. You sighed tiredly, stood up and wiped your tears, staring at him for a few seconds before speaking.

・✦ "... I just don't understand." Her voice was almost a whisper and he listened intently to every word that came out of her mouth. "Would it be so bad if we were dating? What have I done to these people?" You bring your hands to your eyes, sobbing once more. He wraps his arms around her again, resting his chin on her head.

・✦ "They don't understand. And don't worry, it's not like we have anything to hide."

・✦ "what if we did?" You whispered, your words hanging in the air as he made a confused face. "What do you mean?"

・✦ "Would it be so bad if we were in a relationship? What if I wanted that?" You gather your courage and face him defiantly.

・✦ "... what-"

・✦ "I like you, Jisung. I don't care what anyone says, what bothers me is that you're so oblivious to it. I want you. I need you."

・✦ He looks at her scared, immersed in his thoughts. It doesn’t last long until he smiles and leans in to kiss you deeply, wanting this for so long his bones could ache.

・✦ He didn't see a problem with that either.

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗 ... 𖥔

・✦ You were the first person to greet him at school when he moved to Korea.

・✦ He was in a confusing phase for himself, still discovering his passions and talents and you were the only one who understood him and waited for him in his time, always being by his side in difficulties.

・✦ People compared you to a ray of sunshine, but for him, you were the light that provided a way out in his darkest moments.

・✦ As time went by, he debuted as an idol and you followed the career you wanted, becoming an interior designer specializing in landscaping.

・✦ You loved everything related to nature and he was no different, loving to travel to places with the best views, always remembering you in the most memorable memories for him.

・✦ During the boys' comeback, Felix was working hard day and night, always bringing out the best in his performances and never letting anything down.

・✦ one of his shows was cancelled due to problems at the venue where they were going to perform and after weeks of tiredness he would finally have at least one day off.

・✦ Taking advantage of the opportunity, you invited him to go to the beach, since you both loved it and hadn't gone out for a long time due to your busy schedule.

・✦ the ride was fun from start to finish and you were hyperventilating over little things like you sharing headphones during the car ride or how he was concerned about whether you were staying hydrated and wearing sunscreen.

・✦ After a whole day of playing in the water, you sat side by side to watch the sunset. Your shoulders were touching and you didn't miss the way your hands were so close, yet still untouchable.

・✦ you watched as the bright orange hue reflected off the blond strands of Felix's hair, looking peaceful as if the breeze took away all his worries and tensions.

・✦ "You're beautiful." His voice came out as a whisper and you knew you couldn't stop talking from now on, "I feel more relaxed when I'm with you. I don't think I need to come to the beach all the time if I already have my daily ray of sunshine."

・✦ Felix looks at her with a genuine smile and you could see the affection through his irises. "Thank you for bringing me here, Y/n. Thank you for everything really." With a smile you slowly lean in and Felix could only close his eyes. Gently your lips connected and you could still feel the mixture of your sweet lips with the salty sea water. He still a little hesitantly holds her waist, bringing her almost impossibly closer.

・✦ moving away but still close to his face, you spoke softly, like a secret now revealed, "I love you. I always have. I'm in love with you and I'm sure it's because you're the easiest person to love."

・✦ Surprised and excited, Felix places a kiss on her cheek and then rests his head on her shoulder.

・✦ "It would be impossible for me not to reciprocate the feelings."

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔

・✦ the way they met was too cute and Seungmin would never confess - even if you commented on it.

・✦ Even in his pre-debut, Seungmin has always been the schematic and methodical type. He had a routine of going to the gym three times a week at a specific time and, coincidentally, he passed by the same square where you used to sit to read a book.

・✦ At first he just ignored you there, but after strangely noticing your long hair, or the cute way you wrinkled your nose when you read something that caught his attention, or when he randomly closed the book to "absorb" what was written there, he thought that maybe it would be interesting to know more about you.

・✦ He was never the intellectual reading type, but he thought that to impress a female reader, it would be good to have a little literary knowledge. When buying a book in a bookstore near the square, he discovered that his parents owned the establishment, and he was overcome with excitement.

・✦ He started to constantly visit the place to see you and in the end it was you who started talking to him and that's where your friendship began.

・✦ Even after his debut you remained firm and strong by his side, even though he couldn't often attend your little reading sessions where you read in silence just enjoying each other's company.

・✦ Over time, Stray Kids became increasingly popular, not only in Korea, but in many places around the world. That said, the group's first world tour was approaching and everyone was nervous. Seungmin became more and more distant as the week progressed as it was time to prepare for his world debut.

・✦ the day before the trip, you showed up at the door of his and the boys' dorm, sending a message as soon as you got there. He replied a few minutes later, saying he would be late at the company.

・✦ You were very frustrated because you didn't know if you would be able to say goodbye to him, since six months away without being able to see Seungmin was a long time for both of you. You leave the book you were going to give Seungmin as a gift at the dorm door, leaving immediately.

・✦ a little after midnight, you hear your phone vibrate on the nightstand, seungmin’s name flashing on the screen. You answer, completely concerned as to why he's calling so late.

・✦ He asks you to answer the door and without further contradiction you practically run to open the door.

・✦ Still sleepy, you almost fall with the impact of the hug that Seungmin gives you. He wraps his arms around you in an almost desperate way, wishing he couldn't let go of you anymore.

・✦ “Is it true? Did you really mean that?”

・✦ completely confused, your mind seems to want to play a trick on you, making you forget the moment that happened earlier, where you left the book with a dedication to Seungmin inside.

・✦ he breaks the hug, showing the book that had been in his hands all this time. 'Welcome to Hyunam-dong Bookstore' was no longer in its original gift packaging, a yellow post-it was stuck to the inside of the cover, which said: “I hope you enjoy this reading as much as I enjoyed the moments I had with you. I love you, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy you.”

・✦ your eyes widened in utter surprise. You thought you might not be able to say goodbye to him in person, So he wrote this note in the heat of the moment, almost afraid that this trip might separate you two.

・✦ “Minnie… I’m sorry. This may sound wrong, but… I really like you. Ever since I met you… s-since forever, I think…”

・✦ His words are a bit disjointed and low, but the only reaction Seungmin had was to gently hold his face and do what he had always wanted since that day in the square: kiss her without guilt or resentment.

❪ ε ї з ❫

ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔

・✦ JYP was not an unfamiliar environment for you. Your older sister, a third-generation K-pop idol, often invited you to watch her train.

・✦ The JYP halls were a familiar environment for you and this gave you the opportunity to meet many famous people. And Jeongin was one of them.

・✦ At first, you would just exchange a few nods or a quick “good morning.” However, one day when you had to wait patiently for your sister in the cafeteria area, Jeongin saw you sitting alone.

・✦ He was surprised at himself, since he had promised himself not to make friends during his trainee days, due to the fact that people came and went easily. But you had a different aura to him.

・✦ time passed, he debuted and you stayed with him. Jeongin didn't regret talking to you that day, because from then on you were the one who supported him through the most difficult moments during the beginning of his career.

・✦ You saw Jeongin as an escape from all the problems of your day to day life. No matter the situation, just seeing his face, with that cute dimpled smile, the tension in your body would go away.

・✦ Spending time with him was comfortable and became incredibly familiar. You became an important part of Jeongin's life, and vice versa. The boys were happy to know that there was someone to brighten their youngest member's darkest days.

・✦ After a few years of friendship, the Stray Kids dorm had become an almost routine environment for you. One Friday, Jeongin invited you to join the boys' movie night.

・✦ You quickly got ready, stopping by the convenience store before walking to the dorms since it wasn't that far from your house.

・✦ you felt your cell phone vibrate as you walked down the sidewalk with some very full bags in your hand. You tried to get the cell phone out of your pocket, However, because of the piled up bags, he ended up falling on the sidewalk.

・✦ Without thinking twice, you quickly bent down to pick it up, not noticing the electric bike that was quickly coming towards you. It all happened so fast that you could say it was like a quick dream (or nightmare), like the kind you have when you take a short nap.

・✦ you were thrown away and the bike ended up running over your ankle, dislocating it. You ended up passing out from the pain on your way to the hospital, in the ambulance that the cyclist called to help you.

・✦ You woke up a few hours later, the light reflecting off the white walls of the hospital room hitting your eyes hard, making you squint.

・✦ you felt soft threads near your hand, and as soon as you regained some consciousness, you realized that Jeongin was lying next to you in a completely uncomfortable position. It didn't take him long to wake up, looking a little desperate as he did so.

・✦ “thank god! I- I thought… Y/n…”

・✦ Jeongin's eyes filled with tears and the words were a little stuck in his throat. “If I hadn't called you at that time, none of this would have happened... a man ended up answering his phone and told me what had happened. Forgive me, S/n.”

・✦ his words were still a little distorted because of the effect of the drug, where you were barely assimilating what was happening.

・✦ With a smile, you wipe Jeongin's tears gently. “I was so scared… scared of losing you. It could have happened because of a bike, but it could have been worse-”

・✦ “Don't do that. If you keep crying because of me, it'll make me fall in love with you even more.”

・✦ Jeongin was paralyzed by his slurred, barely audible words. He whispered a “what?” under his breath, his heart racing with even more disconcerting thoughts.

・✦ He stayed in the same position for a few seconds, long enough to make you fall back asleep. He kissed your forehead affectionately as he pulled away..

・✦ “I hope you remember your words when you wake up.”

[omegalomania]

so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

[marwolaeth-76]

Hi (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡, Can you make a one shot of Veneer with a female reader, where the reader is also a singer (solo) but Veneer tries to get closer to her, in every possible way until at one point the attraction between the two of them is so noticeable that in interviews they begin to ask them about it, and in the end they start a relationship.

Hi!! thank you for your request and thank you for waiting, I hope you like it🩷 and I want to apologize for waiting request other people, I’m sick right now so I don’t have the strength to write😢

Veneer x !FemReader stars fell in love with each other

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You take a deep breath as you walk down the halls of build preparing for your interview. Ever since your debut single dropped, your life has been a whirlwind. Fans, photoshoots, awards shows - it's all so exciting but also overwhelming at times. As you near the stage, you spot a familiar face in the crowd. Veneer gives you a small grin. Your heart skips a beat, you've been growing closer to the star singer over the past few months. Between running into each other at events and bonding over the pressures of fame, you've found yourself developing feelings for him. The interview goes well until the host notices your lingering glances at Veneer. "Soo tell me - are you two there is something between you?" Kid Ritz ask slyly, crossing one leg over the other, raising an eyebrow questioningly. You it’s hard to hide your nervousness, a chill of embarrassment runs down your spine, you should have guessed that such embarrassing questions cannot be avoided, people love drama, especially between stars. Before you can stammer a response, Veneer speaks up. "We just care for each other", -he says with a warm smile in your direction. "But for now, we're just enjoying each other's company and support as we both navigate this new chapter in our lives and careers." - His tone is calm, he must have planned this answer, it’s not just that he’s sitting among the audience? although maybe it's just a coincidence. His words are reassuring yet leave the door open for something more. After the show, you share a private moment backstage. "Before you think I'm a heartless ladies' man", - Veneer began to speak in his usual mannered voice. "I..I meant what I said earlier" - Veneer says softly, taking your hand in his. "You know? I really like you, It was already difficult for me to keep it to myself. Everything is happening so fast, I can’t say that I’m unhappy with it" To say that you are in shock is not enough to say, no, of course you dreamed of this, but to really have Veneer feel the same feelings for you as you do? You stand there like a real fool, staring at the guy with wide eyes for almost a full minute before coming to your senses, catching the slightly embarrassed expression on the singer's face. You beam up at him. "Um!..I like you too? this is so awkward, I'm sorry, Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really kind of... fallen in love with you for a long time.." Leaning in, your lips stretched out in an embarrassed smile, Your heart conquers the normal rate of beats per second, you pull the guy in to kiss him on the cheek. "Ohh only on the cheek?" - Veneer asks with a note of mischief, the slight nervousness left his face, although you could swear that his hand you were holding was shaking slightly, he looking at you with his sparkling blue eyes. Looking away slightly to the side, you shake your head, raising your eyebrows and answer excited: "everything has its time)" While love brings challenges, you're glad to face them with Veneer by your side.

♡♡♡

uhhh i really wrote little, srr, bad health does not allow me to think of something normally 😤

[xpeachesncream]

seven with you | bands drabble (jjk)

↳ drabbles masterlist

yours (ft. the bands!couple) | drabble seven: it’s time for jungkook’s solo debut and you have a few feelings about it.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: cussing, mature language, oc experiencing jealousy and insecurity, oc is very supportive but inevitably feels insecure and scared, kook being protective of his family as always, soft and sweet unprotected sex, cowgirl 🤠, making out, neck kisses, sprinkle of breast play, pls excuse any errors as i quickly whipped this up!

a/n: anon, this is for you! 💞 ironically this is my 7th drabble for the couple 😅 hehe coming back to continue feeding into all the thoughts, fantasies, etc etc because of seven promotions. much love, hope you enjoy! so sorry if i missed anyone on my perm taglist, its been so long! i’ll be back again soon 🥰

"So, what's hyung doing? Is he still at rehearsal?" Kai asks on the other line as you sit on the hotel bed, scrolling through your laptop.

"Yeah, he's still rehearsing for tomorrow."

"Do you know anything about the video?" You chuckle a bit and shake your head as if your little brother can see you.

"Mm, no.. besides who's involved. He wanted to keep it a surprise."

"Interesting." Kai laughs. "You're going in blindly with everyone else."

"I sure am." You laugh. "But, it'll be good! I'll get to experience this with everyone. I know it'll be amazing no matter what."

"How come you didn't wanna be in the video?"

"It's not that, I just always told Kook that he shouldn't let me hinder his process. If he wants me involved, then he can get me involved. If not and he chooses to do his own thing, then I'll sit back and support as I always do."

"Truthfully, did you want to be in the video?"

"I mean.." You hum as you tilt your head to the side. "It would've been cute."

"Then, why did you say no?"

"Kai. I just.. didn't want him to feel obligated. Plus, to be frank, I wasn't even sure if I was comfortable. I think Kook could tell, and he didn't wanna force it after that. Or, maybe he just had a revelation and thought it’d be better off not involving me.” You joke.

"Nothing is better off without you, you know that. But, of course. I get everything else that you’re saying.”

"I trust his process, though. I always do."

"True." He laughs. "Okay, shoot. It's about to release." You keep your eyes on the laptop as the music video starts, keeping your brother on the line as he promised he'd watch with you. He was currently at the Choi residence while you ventured out to New York with Jungkook— supporting him from the sidelines for the beginning of his 'Seven' promotions.

You smile as you see Jungkook and Han So Hee together at the table, praising her for being so beautiful and flawless. You giggle every now and then at Jungkook, but then you start to fix on the little details;

The chase.

His effort— though a bit much that it makes you giggle, the effort is there.

The way he looks at her, waits for her at the end.

Holds her hand and walks along her side.

Maybe you should've said yes to being in the video in the first place, then you wouldn't be in this predicament. Though, she fits well. The vibe is immaculate.

Their dynamic? Strong.

Let's take a moment to be real: part of you felt a little jealous at her flawless execution, a little insecure observing how perfect she is. It seems a bit silly if you generally look at it since Jungkook was Jungkook. But, you couldn't help it. You still weren't used to it, even if you reminded yourself every day that your man was Jeon Jungkook.

Even if you reminded yourself of your story with Jeon Jungkook.

Kai is still on the phone, slightly pulling you back to reality with his comments about how 'good hyung looked in the video' and how 'they worked well together.' He must have been tiptoeing with his words, especially when he quickly flips the script and starts to mention the explicit version that still needed to be listened to.

You follow the lead, playing it on your computer while Kai sat on speaker phone. You can hear the audible gasps coming from his end, your own eyes widening at the switch in the lyrics, the sudden shift of the entire song.

Although you were incredibly proud of Jungkook for continuing to step out of his comfort zone, you felt yourself shrinking and shrinking—

Falling into the never-ending pit of insecurity, jealousy, assumptions, what if's, etc etc.,

It was past midnight. Why was rehearsal taking forever?

Felt like hours, and hours.

"The explicit version— I— Wow. There is a lot to unpack here. But, I can't even say that I'm surprised. Hyung pulls it off well. Wanna be like him some day. He just doesn't care what anybody thinks, and he's so cool." Kai laughs with Yeonjun in the background as they continue to listen to the explicit version with you. You hear a faint 'I don't think this version was meant for us' coming from Yeonjun, a small giggle leaving your lips at their commentary.

"Stop." You say just as Jungkook gives three light knocks on the door before tapping the key against the reader and swinging it open. "Hey, I'll call you back later okay? Jungkook just got back."

"Okay! Tell hyung congrats on the solo debut and that we really liked it!"

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too!" He says as he hangs up the call. Jungkook strolls in with a big smile on his face as he types away at his phone, small giggles leaving his lips as he approaches you on the bed.

"Babygirl." He smiles at and you places a quick kiss on your lips. "Was that Kai?"

"Yeah, it was." You give him a tiny, pursed smile. "He said congrats on the solo debut and that him and his friends really liked everything." Jungkook pauses before he responds because he's typing another message before shoving his phone back into his pocket.

"Aw, thanks. That's my guy. Can always count on him." You let out a tiny laugh before avoiding his eyes, silently looking down at your laptop and letting your finger swipe across the trackpad. "You didn't have to wait up, love."

"Of course I did. I needed to catch it at release." You look up at him briefly. "How was rehearsal?"

"Fucking tiring, but we got through it. I'm excited for everyone to see the performances." He smiles and sits next to you. "So, what'd you think?"

"You two were great together, Kook. It was great.” You simply state.

"We were, weren't we? She was so helpful. And I felt at ease, like I didn't have to try much. She was such a natural at everything, it made things go by a lot smoother.”

"I can tell." You respond softly— probably a little too softly because Jungkook's smile slightly fades. Then, the thoughts start to swarm again just as you look at him. You quickly divert your attention by subtly biting onto your bottom lip, looking towards the hotel window when cars are honking their horns out on the street.

Of course, they were assumptions.

But of course, they were stupid, silly little thoughts stemming from your insecurity; occupying every corner of your brain, making you believe this skewed perception, this-whole-thing-that-is-a-thing-but-not-really-a-thing-because-there-aren't-any-facts-to-back-it-up—

"Hey." He pulls you out of your thoughts by taking your chin and making your eyes meet his own deep, brown orbs. "Talk to me, baby. I can hear you thinking. D-did you not like it? It's okay if not, you know? You can tell me. I value your opinion more than anything"

"What, no!" You shake your head. "I mean, no, of course I loved it. I loved every bit of it. It's amazing, and you know you always blow me away with everything you do." You cup his cheeks and let out a soft sigh. "I really do think you're amazing. I just.. maybe part of me kind of regrets not doing this with you?" He lets out a small breath before taking your hands in his and placing a gentle kiss on your palm.

"Are you saying that just because you saw her in the video?"

"Maybe? And, it did look easy. Everything looked so natural, especially for her. You two meshed well. I—I don’t know. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this anymore."

"Hm." He hums before tapping your thigh and bringing you onto his lap. You brush the hair out of his face while he wraps his arm around your waist, laying a gentle kiss on your cheek. "Baby, you know when I told you about it, I could tell you weren't comfortable with the idea. The last thing I wanna do is make you uncomfortable or unhappy."

"No, I know, Kook. It's not your fault. Trust me. It was beautiful and I really enjoyed it. I just.. felt a bit insecure especially since you didn't push on it. I thought you realized I wouldn’t work. She was way better and you totally saw that. You had this vision with her, and the thought made me feel a bit jealous too. I guess."

"I know this is easier said than done, but don't be. I love you." He brushes the hair away from your face this time. "You don't have to go out of your way to stand out or catch my attention. You don't have to prove anything to me, anyone. Plus, part of me felt kinda dumb for implying the idea knowing how it'd make you feel and how much attention it'd bring."

"What do you mean?"

"I realized it was probably better off this way simply because I didn't want people to paint this picture about us, or to assume our relationship was a certain way. I know there's already lots of things to be said about the video or the song itself, about our story— but at the end of the day, they don't know us like we know us and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

Because even though the relationship is out there, it's not out there. Jungkook tries to keep things balanced, keeping things private as much as possible out of safety— to create boundaries between his professional and private life. He would always put you and Kai first, keeping your safety, your comfortability and your happiness a priority.

Over everything, anything.

The moment he felt your uneasiness while mentioning the video, he retracted. He never wanted to force you, or make you do something that was too out of your comfort zone. He didn't want to cross that line of putting too much out there because he was happy with how things were. It was enough, just enough. And that's all he needed.

You were happy, Kai was happy.

Why would he ever push and ruin that?

"You're right. I understand."

"I hope that helps put you at ease a bit, princess. You can always talk to me about it. There was really no other reason behind me not pushing the idea." He caresses your cheek. "Okay? Nothing else." He kisses your cheek, before your lips. He gently taps the side of your hips before adjusting you on his lap and having you straddle him full on. You wrap your arms around his neck while he stares at you in pure adoration, a smile painted across his lips before he speaks again— "You're my muse. You're in everything that I do, bits of you are sprinkled everywhere. Everywhere that I go, songs that I've created, lyrics scribbled on paper, doodles on my notebook— everything." His hands travel up your sides, giving them a tiny squeeze as he lets out a small exhale against your lips. "You will always be my muse."

"I'm sorry, Jungkook."

"Don't be sorry." He chuckles a bit. "Everything you felt was valid, and I always want you to come to me about these things." You rest your forehead against his.

"I really did enjoy it, though. You always blow me away with everything you do." You kiss him just as you wrap your arms tightly around his neck.

"Yeah?" He chases after your lips, large hands grazing your back as he holds you close to him.

"Mhm." You giggle before poking the tip of his nose. "And uh, the explicit version of the song— we listened to it right before you walked in."

"Cool, huh?" You laugh and shake your head.

"You're crazy."

"You know.." He smirks before biting onto his bottom lip. "Think there's a little bit more explaining I can do for that one. But, I think it'd be better if I showed you."

"Oh?" You watch as Jungkook tears his beanie off and tosses it aside. "I think that'd be good." He leans forward for another kiss— but this time, it's deep. Deep enough for Jungkook to take in a strong inhale through his nose, shakily letting out an exhale once he parts from your lips. He doesn't waste any time before he's kissing you again, tongue swiping against your bottom lip before easing it in. His fingers trace your bare skin underneath your shirt, tips digging into your sides again when he feels you slowly rock against him— his length growing incredibly hard beneath you.

"Yeah, it would be good. Right?" He lets out a small moan in between kisses, hissing when he feels your lips make their way down to his jaw, neck. His hands travel to the hem of the shirt you're wearing, slowly prying it off and tossing it aside. He continues to sit on the edge of the bed while you straddle him, your hands now fiddling with his shirt before he pulls it over his head and joins yours off to the side.

"You aren't tired?" You lay some lazy kisses along his throat, sucking and nipping gently on the surface while his fingers tug at the fabric of your panties.

"Nope, not anymore." You make your way back up to his lips, relishing in every kiss, every squeeze— every bit of Jungkook. Midway, he finally helps you out of your panties before shifting his sweats and boxers down enough to let his cock spring free.  

"You sure?" You tease as you waste no time wrapping your hand around his member, pumping him a few times while listening to him let out a few moans.

"Positive, baby. Need you." He mutters as he signals for you to sink down his length. You do as told, slowly, easily, sinking down until he completely fills you up and bites his bottom lip. "Just like that. Right where you should be."

"Feel so full already, Kook." He chuckles as he adjusts himself better on the bed, tattooed hands traveling up your back, caressing your body, as he showers your tits with kisses. He takes a nipple into his mouth, tongue circling around the hardened peak before pulling back with a pop. Just as you continue to roll against him, he takes the other— giving his tongue a little more freedom to explore before sucking and giving it a quick pop. He continues to shower your chest with feathery kisses, moving to your shoulders and arms while you continue to set the tempo.

"So good— fuck." He moans. "You're doing so good, baby." He tightens his grip around your hips as he continues to praise you. "Just like that." He repeats. You whine, lips grazing his as you work him, ride him— feeling every inch of Jungkook inside of you. The way that your walls engulf him— squeeze him— with every roll of your hips makes it hard for him to hold on. Though, he can tell you're slowly tipping over the edge.

It's the way your face contorts in pleasure.

Your inaudible, silent moans.

The way your body stiffens when you work against him, relishing every bit of his cock before repeating the rhythm.

And he's right, you are close. So close. Jungkook pulls you into a sloppy, wet kiss before he slightly backs away to observe your face, you. He chases after your lips once more, biting onto your bottom lip and making you let out a moan that sounds like music to his ears.

The chase.

His effort.

The way he looks at you in pure adoration, easing you to the edge to see you in pure ecstasy.

Holding you close, keeping his hands on you at all times.

You continue picking up the pace a bit, causing enough friction against your heat. Jungkook calls your name, whispering sweet nothings against your lips as his hand rests on the nape of your neck— the other hand still on your hip. He starts to match your rhythm, your tone, thrusting upwards into you to fully tip you over the edge.

"Kook, I'm— I'm gonna— fuck." You whine as you become desperate, feeling the high settle into the pit of your gut. Finally, you tremble against him and moan loudly against him; hand squeezing his tattooed bicep, the other tangled in his black locks.

"That's it. Good girl." He caresses your back, continuing to thrust himself into you even as you try to come back down from your high. But now, he's there, and he's desperate for his own release. "You're my babygirl. You're everything to me. Everything." You moan loudly with him as he gives you one, two, powerful thrusts. "Everything that I do, everywhere I go. You're my muse. You're mine." He says against your ear, panting as he snaps his hips against you at a faster pace while holding you close; the sound of flesh against flesh filling the room. It's not long before Jungkook is coming undone, the aftershocks still rippling through your body. His cheek is pressed against yours as he pants and lets out a few whines, your walls milking every last bit of him until the very end.

"Kook." You whisper. "I love you. I'm so proud of you and I love you." He laughs lazily as he rubs at your hips.

"I love you too, princess. Good enough explanation for that?"

"Maybe." You giggle as you hop off and scurry off to the bathroom for a quick shower.

"I mean.. we can do more—" He trails behind you and welcomes himself into the shower.

"Jungkook, you need to be up in 3 hours." Your voice echoes in the shower and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

"And?" He laughs. "Running on no sleep is how I work."

"You're too much." You giggle when Jungkook turns you around and wraps his arms around you.

"Baby, baby, baby." He says smugly. "There's more that I'll need to show you, especially for the album."

"Jungkook." You try to scold him but you squeal when he has you wrap your legs around him and presses your back against the tiled wall— the night only leading to more sweet nothings, praises and genuine love. Jungkook loving on you, just as you with him.

Because, you are his muse. You are in everything he does, bits of you sprinkled in everything.

No matter the circumstance. No matter the day, time, year.

You will always be his muse.

permanent taglist: @spideyjimin​ @miinoongi​ @thebeebi​ @ggukkieland​ @bluesharksandfish​ @unicornbabylover​ @preciouschimine​ @codeinebelle​ @shesoldbutcute​ @jikookiekosmos​ @awhnamjoon​ @namjooningelsewhere​ @bunnybearrj​ @babycoffeefire​ @bri-mal​ @sintaethick​ @taejkjoons​ @love2luvya-blog​ @pb-n-juju​ @dianaxnyc​ @fan-ati--c​ @jungjoonie​ @jcsmae​ @favouritesblog​ @ppeachyttae​ @awseokjin​ @jjk1iscoming​ @moonchild1​ @vantxx95​ @genzslayer @knjeuphoria​ @jksjx​ @oogawooga222​ @yoonqki @halesandy​ @chimchimmarie​ @chimsworldsstuff​ @persphonesorchid​

[mono-dot-jpeg]

[10:02pm] - aphelios & sett

a/n; in which i make aphelios silly skrumblo than he already his. test run for writing league. but it's heartsteel phel so, it's probably gonna be fine. i loved watching the bloopers. it was so cute, i need more. they should make a small web series like how kpop groups have their small web series where they do random shit or vlog ugh. im totally gonna write that someday.

[ooc phel and sett????] [i threw in poly! settphel in here despite wanting to make it a solo phel fic]

aphelios is really bad at getting your attention normally.

which is fair. you and alune are busy being the limited staff for heartsteel. you help yone work the technicals [and filming] and alune is more of the social part of managing.

but since their debut was nearing closer and closer, you have been more occupied with your manager duties. kayn had been especially chaotic during filming, causing you and yone to attempt to fix everything that was broken by the others.

to summarize, it has been a very long week for heartsteel.

mostly for the quiet boy since he has not gotten some much-needed love and attention from his lover. he could've gone to sett for that love and attention, but the redhead offers more than enough of it. and also he took too many takes for his scene, and phel swears he can still hear the ringing in his ears from the bell.

he's been trying to get your attention now since it's been much less busy, but he hasn't had much luck.

poke.

poke. poke.

you feel cold fingers poke at your face as you rest on bed, completely exhausted. you don't really complain about the comforting hands that gently cup your face until you feel a familiar pair of lips on yours. aphelios watches your tired eyes open and squint at him before you give him a small smile. "hi phel.."

he can't bring himself to be mad at you from the lack of attention with how sweet you look. he can't help but sigh before settling right next to you on the bed, head resting on your chest and body curling up close to you for warmth. there's never much need for words when he's so endearingly expressive. his lips jutted out just a bit in a cute pout as he looked up at you with pleading eyes, a surefire sign of him wanting your attention. "where's sett?" you murmured, gently playing with phel's hair.

aphelios makes no sign of an answer, tugging the blankets to cover you and him better. he even goes as far to lay right on top of you, trapping you in his hold. "phel.." you whined, "i just wanted to know where he was."

the look in aphelios's eyes says everything you need to know, "i need attention."

you can only smile as you finally give him his needed attention. "okay, okay, i'll stop. but you know i just woke up from my nap. what am i gonna do?"

you get no response as expected as the silent man presses his face against your chest, not caring to even spare you another glance. "god, what am i gonna do with you?" you mutter fondly. "with you and sett.. wait until he starts getting all clingy too.." placing your hands on his cheeks, "absolutely insufferable." you joked, squishing his face.

"babe! i lost aphelios!" you're holding back your laugh as sett barges into your shared room. he reminds you of a sweet doberman who just loves their owner. "have you seen him-" aphelios shifts under the blankets, head peeking out to look at sett, annoyed. "oh. uh. hey phel." sett smiles sheepishly. "i forgot that you wanted to be with them today because they've been so busy."

you laugh, "don't be mad, phel." he sends you a look before burying himself under the sheets once again and clinging onto you. "at least let sett join. i haven't given him much attention either. especially after what happened with some of the props during filming." you sighed, remembering yone scolding to the boys and alune laughing behind the camera.

the blankets shift before the blue haired mute opens a side of the covers to let sett in. and ever the energetic and excitable boyfriend, he almost looks ready to dive straight onto you and aphelios. but he holds back, shifting around awkwardly as he moves onto the bed. he finally lets his excitement out, reaching around to hug both you and phel the best he can. "god, i missed this."

"it was only a week, big guy."

"longest week ever!" he groaned as you feel aphelios nod in agreement.

"you two are so dramatic." you slam a poro plushie against sett's and aphelios's head.

"you love it!"

[sydsaint]

If you don't think he's the hottest member of The Bloodline you are simply wrong I fear.

Summary: The reader is an old NXT friend of Solo's that makes her debut on Smackdown to challenge Iyo for her championship.

"You wanna tell me why the hell you dragged me down here when we could be chilling in the locker room right now?" Jimmy complains from Solo's side as they make their way through the backstage area. 

"I told you earlier," Solo replies vaguely. "There's something that I want to see." 

Jimmy scoffs but continues to follow his baby brother. The pair finally come to a stop backstage over by the production crew. Jimmy idles by and watches Solo intently turn his attention to the monitor set up against the wall displaying the action in the ring. 

Iyo is currently out in the ring with the rest of damage control and talking about who her next opponent is going to be. "What are we waiting for here, Solo?" Jimmy starts to get annoyed by the lack of information Solo is providing him. 

Suddenly, entrance music that Jimmy doesn't recognize blasts through the arena speakers. Solo cracks a rare smile and points to the monitor while the crowd out in the arena all go wild. "That's what we're waiting for." He points to the monitor. 

"What? Who?" Jimmy steps forward to get a better look at whoever Solo seems to be excited to see. "Y/N L/N? Who's that?" He turns back to Solo with even more questions than before. "And why do you care so much?" 

"Y/N and I are old friends from my NXT run," Solo explains. his gaze still transfixed on the monitor. "I haven't talked to her since I left NXT. But when I heard rumors backstage that some A-list talent from NXT was getting called up to Smackdown to challenge Iyo, I knew it was going to be her." 

Jimmy turns his gaze back on the monitor as you march your way to the ring with no fear. Damage Control all encircles you to protect Iyo, but you pay them little to no mind. Iyo is the one you're here for. And no one is going to squander this opportunity for you. 

"Long time no see, Iyo." You flash a smug smile at the current Smackdown Women's champ. "I'm going to guess that you're smart enough to know why I'm here?" You add. "So why don't we skip the niceties and get right to it?" 

"You're a little outnumbered here, don't you think?" Bayley scoffs from Iyo's side. 

You turn your attention to Bayley for a second. "No one asked, Bayley." You inform her nonchalantly. "I'm here for Iyo, that's it. So everyone else? Well, you're all just in my way." 

Bayley scoffs and nudges Asuka and Kairi at her side. Dakota laughs with them but she's still not cleared for action, so you know that you don't have to worry about her. 

"That's some ego you got there, newbie." Bayley's attention snaps back to you after whispering with Asuka and Kairi for a moment. 

"It's not ego if you're just that good, Bayley." You reply. "And trust me on this. I am that good." You assure her. 

Backstage, Jimmy watches with intrigue as you work your mic skills against Damage Control. "Well, she's certainly got balls, that's for sure." He turns to Solo. 

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Solo cracks a knowing grin and nods to the monitor. 

After a bit more verbal sparring Bayley is the first one to attempt an attack on you, she goes for a clothesline which you dodge swiftly. Asuka and Kairi plan a combo attack but you send both of them out of the ring as well. Dakota retreats since she can't fight, and all that's left is the woman that you're after. Iyo Sky. 

"Look's like you're out of goons, Iyo." You laugh and gesture to the rest of Damage Control all laid out on the floor. 

Not about to back down from the challenge, Iyo makes her attack and the two of you trade a few blows. You get the upper hand and send Iyo out of the ring to join the rest of her crew. Iyo's championship belt remains on the mat in front of you so you pick it up and raise up to a roaring crowd. 

"You and me, Iyo! Royal Rumble!" You issue the challenge with the belt held high in your hands. "It's time the 'Genius of the Sky' got grounded." 

You leave the belt in the middle of the ring and hop down off the apron. Iyo glares at you from the safety of her peers and retrieves her belt while you make your way up the ramp. 

Backstage, Jimmy shakes his head in awe of your performance. "Damn. I can see why the two of you were friends." He chuckles. 

A few minutes later you enter the room and spot Solo hanging around with his brother. Having not seen your former NXT buddy in almost a year, you head over to him. 

"Well, I'll be damned." You march over to Solo with a smile. "If it ain't the hardest working man in The Bloodline." You tease. "Solo! It's been too long, man." 

"Y/N, it's good to see you." Solo nods and opts for a side hug. "I see that you haven't lost your touch." He alludes to your performance out in the ring with Iyo and Damage Control. 

You giggle and nod. "You know me, Solo. I take what I want. No matter who's in my way, or what I have to do to get it." You remind him. 

"Solo was saying that the two of you used to run back in NXT?" Jimmy speaks up from Solo's side. 

"Yep." You turn to Jimmy. "Solo's the only one that I could ever get to train with me on the regular. Everyone else was too afraid." You laugh. 

Jimmy nods, starting to see why you and Solo were such good friends. You turn back to Solo with another smile and get back to catching up with your old friend. "Anyhow. Nick Aldis signed me to the brand so get ready to see a lot more of me, Solo." You inform him. "Especially with a title belt around my waist. Because I am so kicking Iyo's ass at the Rumble." 

"Oh for sure." Solo agrees. "You busy after the show? I'd love to catch up some more." He asks you. 

"Yeah, I'm free." You nod. "Just shoot me a text after the show. Now, I've got a meeting with Aldis that I probably shouldn't be late for. But we'll talk later, Solo." You dismiss yourself. 

Solo nods and waves you off. He waits until you are out of sight before he turns back to his waiting brother. 

"So you two definitely did it right?" Jimmy asks. 

"What? No!" Solo scoffs. 

"Liar," Jimmy replies with a smug laugh. "You most definitely hit that, bro." He insists. 

[houpss]

𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐃

Peiring:: Bang Chan x Hwang Lily (You/Y/n)

!this has nothing to do with real people, only their character and appearance are taken from them, everything that is written is fiction and will never be reality!

complete angst, tears, pain, disappointment, cuts, detailed description. Narration from Lily's point of view (she takes Y/n's place because it's much more convenient to write this way, don't attack me 🙏🏻🙏🏻)

Word count: 3,0K

He did not come again, although he promised so many times.Why didn't Chan come again?Again, again and again. It hurts. Why is he never around when you need him so much...why is he treated so badly, why have you always supported him, you've always been there, even before his debut...You were there at the turning points of Stray Kids and you were there when their popularity skyrocketed, but Chan couldn't say the same. Is it so stupid, maybe? He missed your solo debut, missed your first appearance on the podium, it was so painful. You needed him, you needed his warm smile and a few words of support, but where is he?Every time he fed you promises, every time he wrote short messages: "I'll be there," but never once did you see him in the audience, never once did you hear him talk about your performances.

(08.09.2023) You came home late again, it's Friday night, you were extremely tired and could only hope that Chan was already home. But your apartment with him is so dark and empty. It's so cold in here. You sigh heavily and go into the kitchen, turning on the light there. There was always a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers waiting for you in the kitchen. You're sick of them already.You don't like Lilies anymore.He always gave Lilies. You can feel his perfume around the bouquet, inhaling it with your full chest and deftly take your phone out of the pocket of knee length denim shorts. Suddenly, your hands are shaking, and nausea rises in your throat, you haven't eaten all day because you were invited as a guest to a fashionable event, you were there with Felix, who drove you to your apartment with Chan and brought you right to the apartment door, you were very grateful to Lix for the care. You start texting Chan without thinking:

Lily:Where are you? (10:36 pm)

My Channie❤️‍🩹:At work, Lily, I'm almost always at work! (11:09 pm)

Lily: Today is Friday...You finish earlier (11:10 pm)

My Channie❤️‍🩹:I'll be free in a few hours, go to bed without me (11:15 pm)

You didn't answer him, he wouldn't have read it anyway.He was never distracted while working. You irritably threw the phone on the table and pushed the vase, it rolled on the table, but not enough to break. You were angry at him, you were hurt and hurt, probably you can't do this anymore? You get up and go to the vase at the other end of the table, on a small piece of paper it says: "My beloved Lily", you push the vase from the edge of the table with a light movement of your hand, letting it break on the laminate in the kitchen, the fragments scattered everywhere, deafening the silence of the cold apartment. You are constantly looking at the fragments and the scattered Lilies, how in tune with Lilies and Lilies. An almost hysterical laugh escapes from your lips. The laughter of despair and pain that has been accumulating in you for a very long time.The pain from the shrapnel that injured your legs filled your heart. It was so morally painful, but when the fragments cut through the delicate skin, all the moral pain was transferred to the legs, the heart no longer hurts, it became easier.Pain relieves pain. You watch as scarlet blood flows down your legs, droplets fall on the petals of white lilies. Love is filled with blood. You take off your sweatshirt, remaining in a wide T-shirt, hanging it on the back of a chair and go to the bathroom to treat the wounds on your legs, smearing blood on your slender legs with your fingers.After a few minutes, you manage to gather your senses and you treat minor wounds, it's already half past eleven in the evening, there is still no Chan. No, you're not crying anymore, the tears stopped a few tantrums ago.Your soul is now in a dark and frightening void, you've wandered into the wrong place, girl. Your life was described by the phrase: "Did I miss you?No, only idlers get bored, and I always have a lot of work, you know...Sometimes, though...sometimes I cried, sometimes I winced in pain, as if knives were stabbing into my heart; sometimes I choked with pain, as if your beautiful hands were strangling me; sometimes I couldn't sleep at night, I imagined you; I don't eat practically, I want to become better for you...and so I didn't miss you, I just can't live without you."

Who were you kidding?You love him so much and even with all your desire you will never push him away, you are so weak. You're a fool, Lily.Tears did not come even with all the desire, from the effort to cry you coughed, lightly slapping your chest. After a few minutes, you will still get up and go to the kitchen, you wanted to eat. After dinner, you check your phone again. He didn't write. There's a picture of him on your phone's work screen, he's very handsome. You allow yourself a sad smile. It's already twelve o'clock at night, your bed with Chan is cold, it's cold without him, but you've already got used to it. You check your phone every thirty minutes, your heart is racing, and your mind is telling you to be silent, but is it possible to be silent when you are madly in love?

Lily: Good night Chan 🩷 (12:08 am)

My Channie ❤️‍🩹: Sweet dreams my love (12:47 am)

For a second it warms your soul, but the pain is not less, but only more. you fall asleep with your phone in your hands. What can be done about broken heart syndrome?How could you push away the person who became your world? How can you give up a man who has become your air and desire to live? You didn't know the answers to these questions, but you wanted to know so much. Even in your sleep, your thoughts did not leave you, it was too disturbing a night. By morning, your heart had already broken, tears engulfed you again, you were crying loudly, you couldn't do anything else. When you heard the sound of the door opening, you wiped the tears from your face, but your eyes betrayed you. One .two..Three seconds, the bedroom door opened. Chan was very surprised when he saw you not sleeping, but sitting on the bed with tear-stained eyes and a slightly reddened face from tears. You sobbed even louder at the sight of Chan and his tired appearance.

"What's wrong, Lily?" Chan sat down next to you, gently hugging your shoulders, "You happened," You say it almost unintelligibly, tears streaming down your face, "Chan, I'm tired...I'm tired of this attitude towards myself"

"I really don't understand what you're talking about, Honey..."

"How can you not understand? Do you remember my solo debut?" He nodded, "Do you remember my first appearance on the podium?" nod again, "How many times have I begged you to come, how many fucking times have I asked you for support...How many times have I needed you? Where have you been all these times, where have you been when I need you so much"

"Lily...You do realize that I have a job and I can't always–"

"But I could, right?I've been around every time, I've been around for more than five years! HOW MANY times HAVE I LITERALLY SPAT ON MY LIFE FOR YOU, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I BEEN THERE WHEN YOU ASKED, I'VE BEEN TO ALL THE PERFORMANCES AND EVENTS...BUT FOR SOME REASON, WHEN I NEEDED YOU, I NEVER SAW YOU IN THE CROWD." You screamed, breaking out of his grip, tears choked your throat, you tried to shout over the pain. Chan was looking at you so sad and sad, and it came out of his mouth: "I'm sorry."

"Why do I need your forgiveness?"

"I will try my best for us" You glance at him as he pulls you against his chest, running his fingers through your hair. As much as you don't want to, you have to say this...

"From this moment on there is no more “we”, now there is me and there is you." You laid your head on his shoulder, it’s too painful to push him away when you love him more than life, he’s your everything, "I'm afraid to say this, but from now on we are not in a relationship." You looked at him with eyes full of pain, he was already crying.

"Please Lily...we can make things better...I promise to be better for you." He placed his hand on your cheek and you pressed your face into his palm. Lily, you really are an idiot. "No, Chan...we can't do this anymore, forgive me."

You kiss his forehead one last time before getting out of bed, taking things from your wardrobe to change into clothes. Chan says something to you, but you don’t hear. You take the already prepared backpack and bag with your most necessary things and look at the man for the last time, frozen on your lips: “Forgive me, Channie.”

He tells you, you don't hear again. You walk past the kitchen, where there are blood lilies on the floor, you feel sorry that you broke the vase. Sorry. You change clothes and leave. Perhaps this is the end of the story?

Separation erased everything, took away with it a part of yourself that remained only a small initially inconspicuous cloud of grief. My heart aches and screams, dripping with tears of inconsolable love. Loneliness filled the space around. The silence seemed to spread through the so quiet streets of morning Seoul, ringing with indifference and a bored chill. He is not there to support, hug and warm up for all the forgotten shortcomings. Instead, there are only broken hopes and regrets that enter into thoughts and offend the soul. thoughts wander in the darkness of the past. The beloved voice sounds in my head, but its warmth is annihilated by the walls of separation. He's not here, and even when you close your eyes in a delusional attempt to bring him back, he remains an unreachable ghost. His presence has moved into a world of fantasies and unfulfilled desires. I had to move on, I had to build a new life and learn to live without a Vat.

You moved into a new apartment, that apartment will stay for Chan. In a new place it is so lonely and empty, there is no more the security and love that was at the very beginning.

He misses you too. The same storm of emotions and bitter thoughts fluttered in his chest. Memories with her rest in a corner of his soul, causing the most difficult feelings. He wants to come back, be near her, feel her warmth on his skin and hear her laugh. But there remains only the sad realization that now all this is just an illusion, where there is no place for reality and general happiness. He ruined everything himself, and Lily deserves happiness, but happiness with him is impossible, he was not created to love. Despair gripped him. A great emptiness arises in his heart, which never ceases to pull at his soul. He cursed himself for every wrong word, every wrong step that had caused this devastating loss. He was banging his head against the wall, trying to figure out why he did what he did. He longed to take back everything they had and make her his again. Become close to my bones, I want you in my heart. In the corner of the room there is a photo album, well worn by time, reminiscent of the past, full of happiness and promises. But now the remaining pages seem to be just another confirmation of the illusory nature of happiness.Chan struggles with numb fingers, trying to rein in the strings of his heart. He swims in an ocean of lost moments and unsatisfied desires, trying to drown the meaninglessness of his pain. But every attempt to get rid of him drives him more and more into a corner, squeezing every cell of his body, opening a painful wound with every breath. It hurts, doesn't it? It was so bad without her. It's his fault.

Three months later.

You even try to move on with your life, you are so busy with work that there is no room for pain, but at night everything comes back. You don’t know how Chan is doing, but you know that SKZ had a comeback in November with the album “ROCK-STAR”, you even watched the video, you liked it. Sometimes you cross paths with members at fashion shows, you give each other glances, but you don’t dare speak. There were already rumors that someone had appeared at the chan, you weren’t surprised. You also tried to fall in love with someone, but the heart that loved Bang Christopher Chan protested.

One evening on New Year's Eve, you were preparing dinner for yourself. By the way, you got a dog who was still just a puppy. Zoey was happily running and yapping around you, and you were preparing dinner when notifications started pouring in on your phone.

Binnie:Lily, I know what's going on with you and Chan, but can you please come? (07:18 pm)

Lily: What's happened? (07:20 pm)

Binnie: Please come and find out everything. Just please come. (07:21 pm)

Your restless soul immediately sensed something was wrong. You turned off the stove and covered the pan with a lid, picked Zoey up and called a taxi. Leaving the puppy at home alone was a bad idea, so you went to the hens' dorm with her. Your heart was pounding, you didn't even really dress nicely.:A black turtleneck, over a black oversize T-shirt and black bell-bottomed jeans. You're in a mournful mood, Lily. You were in a taxi, it took about 20-30 minutes to go. Zoey was fidgeting on your lap and licking your hands.

Maybe something happened to Chan?Maybe it was just a joke? You swallowed and kept looking out the window. Lily, what are you doing? Going to the past is a terrible idea in advance. During these months, You have lived through many events.She tried to keep busy with work, chores and meetings with friends, but her heart remained empty without Chan. She dreamed of him every day, of his kindness, his smile and his hugs. But it's such a stupid thing to dream about someone who did this to you. You drove up to the dorm, Zoey was running ahead of you when you entered the cottage. A worried Jisung opened the door for you, and Zoey burst into the house.

"I'm sorry, Hanni, I couldn't leave her alone at home"

"Everything is great, Lily, come on in" Jisung let her into the house, there was a New Year's atmosphere, but something was wrong.

Hyunjin saw Zoey and immediately started playing with her. "You've finally arrived, Lils...we have a fucking circus here ," Hwang Hyunjin always spoke bluntly.

"What happened...Is this related to Chan?"

Changbin came down from the second floor, he was holding a tray in his hands.

"He gets sick and drinks whiskey, cries..." Changbin put the tray on the table and called Lily over to him.

"Lily...I understand that you broke up, but please go up and talk to him, make him sleep."

"I... I can't"

At that moment, three poor men were looking at you like a shrek cat. It seems that they are already tired of the Chan. You sighed heavily and went up to Chan's room. As soon as you went up to his room, the terrible smell of alcohol immediately hit your nose, you coughed and quietly walked around the cluttered room to open the window a little. You turned on the dim light and sat on the edge of the bed. There, wrapped in a blanket, lay Chan, who also smelled of alcohol, but also pills. His eyes were closed, but he was not asleep, he was as if in a delirium. He was lying on his back, sweat was running down his face, he was frowning and mumbling. You shook your head and went into the bathroom to soak a towel in cold water and wipe Chan's face. When you ran a wet towel over his face, he barely said clearly:"Bin, go away...I don't need help....me..I don't want to live"

You clenched your jaw, you wanted to cry or hit him, he was a fool. You looked at his pale face, brushed his black curly hair from his forehead, barely running your fingers over his face. You wiped his face, neck, and a little bit of his shoulders. His eyes snapped open and he started crying, you didn't know what to do. He probably doesn't even know that you're sitting here.

"It hurts so much, Bin...It's like I'm dead." He closed his eyes again, and you put a cold towel on his forehead.

You got up and started cleaning his room a little bit, threw out all the alcohol, all the garbage and put things in their places. Your heart ached with pain, how stupid everything is. Chan groaned hollowly, and you sat back down on his bed. You put the necessary medications and pills that Changbin brought earlier on the nightstand by the bed. Chan had a fever, so why was he drinking that damn alcohol...why is Chan treating himself like that?

"Go to sleep, Channie, you need to sleep," You said it softly and tenderly, your voice has not been like this for a long time. Chan immediately opened his eyes and raised his head as soon as he heard your voice.

"Oh...I hear your voice...how I missed it" You placed Chan's head back on the pillow. Chan really didn’t realize you were sitting next to him. Happiness is not for us.

"Life without Lily is like hell, I blame myself so much... as if I had committed murder, when she left, I stopped living, I am literally surviving. It’s so difficult without her... but it’s my own fault... I gave her hidden gifts, but it wasn’t enough.” While he whispered through his delirium, you frowned, you didn’t understand what hidden gifts he was talking about. You stroked his head and whispered: “Chan, you need to take a pill.”

He was now truly back to consciousness.

"Lily...god...why are you here?" His eyes filled with tears again and you handed him a glass of water and a pill.

He drank obediently, but still looked at you absolutely normally.

"Don't look like that...Changbin asked to come"

his hands reached out to you, and you grabbed his hands and squeezed them in yours, silently urging him to lie back on the pillows.

"I'm sorry..forgive me...I'm so guilty."

"I tried to compensate for my absence with gifts and meetings that you dreamed of, but this was not enough... I understand, I'm sorry."

The puzzle is complete in your head, it seems you understand everything. He literally did what you wanted, and there was always a bouquet of Lilies because you said you loved Lilies. Lily loves Lily, sweet. He arranged a meeting for you with Donatella Versace, invited you to closed events, gave you the most expensive gifts, but could not be there. You never knew who the gifts were from. Chan even wrote songs for you, but you often forgot to listen to them. So who's bad now? Tears appeared in your eyes, you barely audibly whispered: “I’m sorry...”

He smiled faintly, a smile gracing his sickly face. He pulled you so that you collapsed next to him, your head falling on his shoulder.

"I promise to do better, I promise to be the best for you...just don't leave, please." Chan whispered this with all his might

"Do you really think we can do it?"

"We've missed a lot in five years... but we'll fix everything together, I'll never leave or hurt you again."

""I'm afraid we'll destroy each other...it's like we're incompatible."

"Lily, you are my soul and my love, you are literally all there is...you are my world."

"pain makes us stronger" Lily exhaled and snuggled closer to Chan. It was so strange, but you missed his warmth. You missed me terribly.

"I'm terrible too... I was just afraid, forgive me, forgive me"

Instead of answering, Chan's soft lips touched her forehead. she pressed her cheek to his chest. Chan began to fall asleep when Lily whispered "I still love you, Bang Christopher Chan."

Words of sincere affection filled the room. They spent New Year's Eve sleeping in each other's arms. Perhaps things will be much better next? Perhaps all this suffering will bring redemption?

It may be so stupid to give a chance to something that has ended... but love has not ended, your love for this man will never pass, it’s like a disease has taken over you. You are my first love syndrome.

"You are my last love and last love syndrome, Bang Christopher Chan."–"You are doomed to love me, Hwang Lily."

[solarwynd]

You know i get this sense of satisfaction that when BTS reunites jm will be one of the members who did GREAT musically on his own as a solo artist without anyone's help you know like big names on his album or anything and that he indeed is someone whose music armys love. For years i have seen members not putting him in anything as #1 e.g. best vocalist jungkook, best dancer hobi, handsome ones taehyung and jin, RM has his fixed one as the leader and since he's quite a better writer than the rest. Not saying members don't praise jm for anything cause i know they all know he indeed is the centre of their performances and as RM said he's the axis around which the stage revolves BUT i always felt like maybe musically they wouldn't be crediting him much like they never saw him good musician as a soloist but now that he's achieved great things with his Albums I'm sure he himself would not feel any inferiority compared to others or that he won't be as good enough as a BTS member as he quite worried himself that if he can keep that name on top n all.

I by no means feel the need to show any other members down cause to each their own I quite don't care about what are all they achieving i just wanted for jimin to feel that yes he's achieved things the same as BTS as the group did. He would be a #1 BB artist, #1 on sp, #1 hot 100, BB global, BB Excel everything plus the 1M in the US, he's already got 1B for one song and hopefully when till the time he comes back he'll have two 2B plaques waiting for him. I hope he feels satisfied that he did great with the music he himself wanted and he was involved in everything. And that definitely will give him more confidence. I know that tour is gonna happen not just jm but every member will do that's a given but oh the happiness he gonna feel looking at those people 🥹 i still remember his expressions when he won on music show like he genuinely cherishes each and every win, there's no arrogance in him where he thinks He's BTS's member so he'll always be on top or anything. The anticipation on his face that day told me how he cherishes even a small win and i feel good that i chose him.

Yes, Jimin’s already shown renewed confidence in all his abilities. I do hope that BTS grow out of their set roles that they’ve been holding onto since debut and allow for some change into their group dynamics where creativity is concerned. Like after FACE and MUSE, if he doesn’t get more production/composer credits on their songs it’s just a wasted opportunity, cause Jimin knows how to make hits.

He doesn’t need the validation of the other members of being multifaceted , but acknowledgment that he’s more than just “cute” and a dancer, would go a long way.

[duckchu]

Heartsteel Kayn with a cute idol reader <3

How did it even come to be? Y/N, the nations sweetheart and...Kayn. Well, you were working on a track for your solo debut with Yone around the time of Kayn joining Heartsteel and he noticed you were at their apartment pretty often, sometimes even proving yourself useful by accidentally triggering some of Aphelios's pranks meant for the band members, like the classic water bucket on the door, which also made him see you in wet hair which...let's say haven't left his mind for a long time. But as you eventually stopped coming after the song was finished he...started missing you. He couldn't believe it, you two barely exchanged words, though he often saw you hanging out with Ezreal in their shared room as you two were friends back from the days when your promotions would collide and you would meet at variety shows together.

Eventually he asked Ezreal for your number and you two started exchanging text messages, which weren't really intresting at the beginning, but later on became the best time of the day for Kayn

He loved your wit and how you could actually stand him. He couldn't help but eventually develop feelings for you. He couldn't believe himself. He was falling for...You! A sickly sweet idol girl who's just as annoying as Ezreal. Yeah, that's what you are...not a witty person to talk to. Not at all.

After this he stopped responding to your texts and avoiding you. You didn't know why. You decided to go to Heartsteel's apartment to meet up with Ezreal and talk about it to him. As you entered his room, you noticed he wasn't there. Neither was Kayn. They're probably busy, you thought to yourself as you sat down on Kayn's bed. You could go to Yone, who was downstairs in the living room, but that would probably be awkward. So you wait for Ezreal. And you wait. And you wait...

After honestly not a long, just boring time, the door opens, revealing Kayn. You look at him, trying to hide the hurt in your eyes as he barely spares you a glance.

- What are you doing here? - he asks, cold tone hiding the oh so warm feelings he has for you.

- Waiting...for Ezreal...- you looked on your shoes, thinking of how much you wanted to just hug him right now

- Well he'll be out for a long time - you feel the bed under you dip as he sits down next to you. After his cold treatment for the past week, you were surprised that he wanted to get close to you. You decided this was your only chance to speak up.

- Why...Why are you ignoring me?- He smirked. He smirked! This smug bastard!

- Ignoring you? I'm talking to you right now - What you didn't know was that he was covering his nervousness. He wanted to speak to you so bad, but you were just...making him too soft.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!- you were so mad right now, which he thought was really cute

- Listen... You're just making me too soft...- He tried not looking you in the eyes, but you grabbed his face

- What do you mean?- You looked so puzzled...He wanted to kiss you so bad right now. So he did. He connected your lips and laid you down on the bed, making you question his intentions

- This. You're making me feel so...- He trailed off, looking at your cute, confused face

- Kayn...-

- I know you don't want a person like me.- He looked almost mad at himself for this.

- No...I do- You grabbed his collar and pulled him in for another kiss.

Now for the actual relationship

When it wasn't out yet, everyone was surprised at the change in both of yours behaviour. You seemed even cuter on stage, as if something magical has happened overnight while he became even more rowdy, secretly wanting to impress you.

Then in one interview he said that he had someone in mind when asked for ideal type and basically started describing you. Everyone in the room was kinda shocked when they realised (except for the other members of course, they already knew) and it leads to an avalanche on stories about how you two were a thing, how he was a creepy stalker, even that you were pregnant with his child? You didn't expect this at all, you weren't really used to having so much press about you released at once. It was overwhelming but also you were grateful that your relationship was partially out, since hiding it was starting to become tiring, especially with Kayn insisting on going out almost every night, since it would be harder to catch you two. While you liked those dates, they really messed your sleep schedule and you were practically running on energy drinks.

After the public became aware of your relationship, you got the toxic "leave my pookie bear" comment or two, but it wasn't noticible and Kayn always made sure you knew he loves you more than his fans.

You could also visit him more freely! And after some time both the public and your fans loved the "opposites attract" dynamic you two had.

You also started secretly putting cute accessories on Kayn's clothes, which he only started noticing after you went all out and put a pink ribbon on his collar. He was mad and chased you in Heartsteel's apartment with Aphelios recording.

[moondaepuppy]

actor au!Debut or die

(I love actor au's, so here's my brain rot)

(During the audition process) Ahyeon wanting to ask moondae for a hug after his audition scene with him (because he's a fan!!)but doesn't because he worries it would be weird/make moondae uncomfortable (meanwhile moondae knowing he wants to ask for something and waiting for him to bring it up~), then ahyeon regrets not asking because he thinks there's no way he's getting the role. But he does???!!!! Then at the script reading he finally asks, but for a handshake, but ends up admitting he wanted a hug, so moondae, mid hand-shake, pulls him in for a hug.

(Also: moondae watching ayheon's dance audition tape numerous times.)

Eugene getting banned from the snack table within the first days of filming

Everyone turning up to watch moondae's solo scenes, even if they're not scheduled on set

Having to do far too many takes of moondae's pop*con audition scene because people's laughter kept ruining the take and moondae kept breaking character (the judges reactions were real)

[Lee Sejin's vlog of the BTS of the pop*con filming going viral]

(the pop*con choreo was made by moondae, with some help from ahyeon. Sejin was there also but moondae threw him out of the rehearsal room)

Gunwoo having a cold exterior and seeming unapproachable but his personality is an actual puppy, while moondae is vice versa. The two get along well, the cast and crew joke that maybe they really did swap bodies

Eugene and Sejin pranking the rest of the cast

[Image of Shin Jaehyun with his arm on the back of park moondae's chair during the script read-through.]

The crew watching in awed silence during cheongryeo/moondae scenes (novel readers you know) because the intensity/tension and chemistry is insane. The two just feed off each other so well. Jaehyun also tends to improv a lot in the moment, in ways that may be surprising but work so good. It drives moondae crazy (the control freak haha), but he's always good at staying in character (aside from the one exception 🍿😂) . Jaehyun is usually pretty chill but around moondae his mischievous side is drawn out ~

(also Raebin watching with sparkle eyes, because he's a fanboy of Shin Jaehyun)

That time Kim Raebin (wearing a face mask) was lost and mistaken for an intern and ended up carrying around everyone's coffee because it felt too impolite to say no and then the timing to say something never came. (It wasn't until Eugene came looking for him that people realised.)

On-set, Eugene asking moondae and ahyeon to explain certain words/phrases in the script he's unfamiliar with. His scripts will have notes in their handwriting dotted throughout.

Eugene doodles in his script and others. (Bae sejin secretly likes this, and 'accidentally' leaves his script near Eugene sometimes haha)

That time ahyeon almost burnt down his van trying to make food (the crew left a sign on his stove: 'AHYEON. NO.')

During scenes where they're eating, the director would worry abt Eugene because he eats a lot (he has the same appetite as his character) (and they have to do multiple takes) but the crew quickly realised they needn't waste their energy. (Director: "Eugene, really, don't eat so much during the scene! You'll make yourself sick!" *Eugene pouting, the cast laughing* Lee Sejin: "There's no need to worry, Eugene's stomach is the endless abyss haha~" and then later→ director, stern, ignoring those puppy dog eyes: "Eugene! You have one pizza limit for this scene! I mean it! We can't go over budget!" *Eugene pouts, until the cast give him their leftovers* (this makes it into the final cut).

[clip from bts, director interview: "Lee Sejin is very professional while working, as long as you keep him away from moondae." (Cut to lee sejin who is laying on the floor, crying from laughing, while moondae is stood next to him. "Director, please change the script to me killing him." (Off-screen) "My answer is still no, moondae."]

[soobrat]

one way; cbg

part i | part ii | part iii

🖱️⤻ pairing; afab!reader x beomgyu 🖱️⤻ word count; 5.4k 🖱️⤻ genre; enemies 2 enemies PLUS, smut, & angst 🖱️⤻ synopsis; beomgyu has come to retrieve his clothing... as if he didn't just do the unthinkable 🖱️⤻ warnings; hate sex, really mean!gyu, slut shaming, dubcon (more than last time, proceed with caution), beomgyu got you good this time, mc is in shambles, unhealthy... relationship?, solo masturbation, cunnilingus, more pain play, biting, hair pulling, post orgasm torture (mc receiving), piv, I think that's all

⌨️⤻ I couldn't just make it "Beomgyu getting his clothes back" that would be too simple!!111!! I like the way this ended so there will be no part three, I like where they are.

Nestled into your dirty hamper are a solid grey cotton t-shirt and loose pair of black sweats. Not unlike some of your own clothes in your closet other than being a touch larger. The articles of clothing get buried deeper and deeper without you even noticing. You wash and dry them before finally discovering them while folding. You set them to the side for the next time you journey to the boys’ dorm.

That day never comes.

“All I ever do is stick my neck out for you, you know? The department heads raise suspicion about how much time you spend with them and I make an excuse. And now I find this out?”

Your manager rants and raves while pacing your apartment. You remain motionless on your couch, staring at nothing, drowning out all her words. You just can’t believe he went through with it. 

“Did you at least use a condom?” She asks exasperatedly, clapping in front of your face when you don’t answer. “You’re not that reckless, I hope. You have to know your punishment will be more severe. Certain actions against Beomgyu could be a huge liability but they can do more to you no problem.”

Of course. Of course that’s the case. You curl forward and clutch your head. He was okay throwing himself under the bus because he’d get a slap on the wrist and you’d be royally fucked. Maybe you shouldn’t have let your emotions get the best of you. You embarrassed him and boasted about your “success”. You even rubbed it in on the days to come. You made it your mission to subtly throw jabs at him in the presence of his members. It’s what he put you through for so long, it was only fair. That fucking asshole.

“Well, I can’t help you anymore. You’ll attend a disciplinary meeting to determine where we go from here. I hope you have a future at HYBE.”

Her words echo in your mind in an attempt to make sense of them. After failing you look up at her in shock. “There’s a chance I get kicked out?!” You were a trainee, but a valued one. They sought you out specifically and fought all the other companies trying to snatch you up. You thought maybe your debut would get delayed and you’d definitely get banned from the dorm, just like he wanted. But he fucked you over even further than you thought he had the balls to. 

Your manager sighs, the pity in her eyes not easing the dread bubbling in your stomach. You can feel bile climb up your throat then and now as you’re standing outside the conference room. You take a long shuddering breath, deciding to just live with the disorienting fog clouding your brain as you walk in. As the meeting progresses the fog gets more and more treacherous with the news being hinted at. 

“This is just temporary until everything is sorted out. I hope you understand.”

They barely let you get a word in, just recounting everything Beomgyu told them and discussing amongst themselves. They automatically believed him.

The fog stuck around. It was a safety measure deployed to keep you from fully processing how dire the situation was. Soon enough you’d have to understand the gravity of the situation. After a week and three days of waiting in limbo with no news, you were forced to face the truth. Trainees rarely come back after a suspension, and if they do, they’d be back by now. Through all the insanity your brain still has room to worry about Soobin. What lies he’s being fed and if he’ll ever speak to you again.

You pull at your hair, sinking to the ground with your eyes clenched shut. You couldn’t even cry or scream. You just grit your teeth as the frustration gets too strong for you to cope with. A knock on the door sends you immediately walking to answer it, intending to hurriedly send the person away.

You pull the door open and immediately your frustration washes away. 

“Are you just gonna stare at me?”

You don’t even realize how long you’ve been doing it but you’re not sure what else to do. An alarming level of anger builds inside you until you can feel your chest constrict. You’re so enraged you can’t move or speak, so you just look at him as tears pool and threaten to spill. Tears that had been building up for the past week and three days.

“I’m here for the clothes you stole. I’ve been looking for them and can’t find them.”

“Do you know what you’ve done, Beomgyu?” You ask genuinely. Maybe there’s a chance he only thinks you got banned from the dorm. Perhaps his audacity wasn’t quite as boundless as to possibly get you kicked out and still show up to your apartment over two easily replaceable articles of clothing.

“Relax. You were already famous. You can easily get into another company, maybe even the big three.” He says dismissively as if it’s so obvious and the tears streaming down your cheeks were foolish. It was like a siren was blaring in your ears, piercing your eardrums until there was no other noise as you scream at him. Shouting obscenities in between accusations that he just ruined your life and doesn’t even care. You don’t spare a glance at the neighbors who open their doors to see what the hell was going on. 

Beomgyu shoves you into your house and slams the door shut. “Are you fucking crazy?!” He spits with a sharp glare. As if you’re supposed to care about his image after what he did.

“You’re the one making me crazy! You’re provoking me and getting surprised when I react? I’ve been just sitting here in my house losing my mind because I could get the news any day now, and you expect me to have a civil conversation with you?” The veins in your neck bulge as you rush more words out at him.

“Look, I’m just here for my clothes and then I’ll be on my way.” He’s infuriatingly calm, not bothered by bringing you to hysterics once again. Not bothered by your tears or the situation he’s put you in.

“Oh, you want your clothes?” You raise your eyebrows, anger painfully evident in your eyes. You stomp off to your room, finding the neatly folded clothes sitting atop your dresser before searching for a pair of scissors. You step back into your living room with the clothes in one hand and the scissors in the other, making him watch as you cut through the fabric. You hold the scissors open, ignoring the way the other half of the blade digs into your fingers as you stab into his clothing and rip large holes into them.

“What are you doing?!” Beomgyu rushes over and attempts to rip the scissors from your hand before the situation escalates. After a brief struggle you drop the scissors and clothes to the ground and wrap your hands around his throat. You squeeze hard as you look into his eyes, pushing him toward the couch until he falls on top of it. He tries to pry your hands away and you resist as much as you can, feeling tingling in your toes as his face turns redder. “You fucking waste of space.” You mutter as you kneel over him with one leg.

The rage labors your breathing, or maybe it was the pleasure you derived from seeing him suffer. Just as he starts to wheeze he finally pries your hands away and roughly grabs your face. You try to pull at his forearm but he grips your jaw tighter until he’s painfully digging into the bone. “You’re not doing this shit again. Do you actually want to be kicked out?” 

“I don’t care anymore.” You whisper through ragged breaths, trying to grab onto him but he restrains your arms behind your back.

“If you want me just say so.” He smirks. You spit on him and his expression immediately sours. “Suit yourself.”

He familiarly grabs both your wrists in one hand while the other unzips his pants. He pulls his hardening cock out through the hole in his boxers and begins pumping it as he stares at you. “I’ll just jerk off until I cum all over you and make you watch.” He groans as he squeezes precum from his tip.

You grunt, trying to free yourself but he just tightens his fist until it starts to hurt. You wince but never dull your glare. The more worked up you get, the more it seems to turn him on. “Little baby is crying because she’s about to get fired.” He pouts, precum rolling from his slit over his knuckles watching you seethe.

“I love seeing you cry. I jerk off and cum over and over imagining you sobbing because of me.” He breathes, slowing the drag of his fist as he drinks you in. Your heaving chest and glare. You look so sexy when he pisses you off. He wonders if he could get you to cry more.

“They told me it’s unlikely they’ll trust you again, you know.”

“Shut up.” You grit, trying to tug your arms apart.

“Because only pathetic whores get into a potential sex scandal before their idol career even starts. Who knows how many dicks you’ll let inside you before you even step foot on stage.” He laughs in your face, belittling your emotions and getting off to them just to add insult to injury. You strain your hand to dig your nails into any of his flesh you can reach. He hisses, before his smile is back in place, taunting you. You dig them deeper until he squeezes your aching wrists again. You let go with a huff as your frustration translates to tears. 

“That’s right. Fuck— you’ll make me cum, baby.” He exaggerates his moans in his efforts to taunt you. Feigning a wanton expression as he fucks his fist. All his salacious noises make your core ache but there’s nothing you can do to stimulate it. Real and sexual frustration mixed together is a dangerous combo. You were already starved of social interaction, locking yourself in your house waiting for the news. You were banned from the only place you got it from outside of staff, and now the first interaction you’re getting isn’t satisfying your need in the slightest.

If you couldn’t get a shoulder to cry on, the least you wanted was to get fucked until you couldn’t think. Beomgyu is just wicked enough to know how to torture you. 

“Come on. All you have to do is ask for it nicely and I’ll fuck you.” Beomgyu strains, close to cumming. It’s now or never before you’re left with frayed emotions and a mess to clean up. Your stubbornness prevails as you just let out a defeated noise, clenching your eyes shut and squeezing more tears free. Real moans seem to break through as Beomgyu’s hips jerk, pointing his cock at you as he covers you in his cum. He loosens his grip on your wrists and you rip yourself free, shoving him pathetically once he finishes. He stands with a cocky grin, fixing himself before making his exit.

“You can keep the clothes.” He casts a disinterested look back at you and you lose it. Flipping furniture and throwing anything you can carry across the room, just missing him as he shuts your door. You continue your rampage, turning your entire living room upside down as you sob violently. When it subsides you look at the mess and clutch at your hair.

You collapse to the ground, hugging your knees as you cry until you can’t cry anymore. 

--🖱️▷

From behind your crusted lids, you watch the sun rise from the large window to the left of you. You don’t get up as it slowly goes higher and higher, indicating how long you’ve stayed there. Your doorknob turns and you still don’t look up. Maybe the burglar will think your house already got ransacked and leave.

“You’re almost making me feel bad.” Beomgyu nudges you with his foot and you sit up. You gawk at him and he just smiles back. 

“What are you doing in my house?” He was a lot less welcome than the burglar.

“You left your door unlocked.” He shrugs.

“You’re crossing a dangerous line.” You warn in a low voice, rising to your feet. 

“What’re you gonna do? Have sex with me again? Scary.”

“I’m not in the mood. Get out of my house.” You try to push him but he stays rooted in his spot, smiling down at you. He was clearly still high off fucking with you last night. “Fine. You can stay.”

His smile stretches wider before trying to smooth his knuckles down your cheek which you dodge. “Only if you eat me out.”

He snorts, instantly dismissing you. “That’s not happening.”

“Then leave.”

“And if I don’t?” He leans closer to your face and you’re transported to the day that potentially ruined all your hard work in one fell swoop. Your blood pressure rising around him had become customary, along with the urge to mutilate him somehow. You wordlessly pull out your phone, typing in three numbers dramatically until he snatches the phone out of your hand. “Give it back. I’m trying to report the intruder in my home.” He hurls your phone to the floor before regarding you once more.

“You really are dense.” His face is serious suddenly as he closes in on you. “There’s something seriously wrong with you. Soobin dodged a bullet.” There was potent malice in his eyes, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Leave. Now.”

The two of you stare at each other as if you’re trying to kill the other with your eyes alone. He grasps the end of the shirt he sullied before pulling it up and forcing it off your body. He moves to your ratty shorts with streaks of his cum, shoving them down and almost tripping you to get them off.

He kneels on the floor, the only clean circle of space surrounded by the wreckage, keeping his eyes on you. He moves your underwear to the side and starts sucking on your clit. There was nothing left for interpretation for either of you. There was no denying the hatred in both your eyes or the arousal you make each other feel. Your glare falters once he starts to suck harder, your brows slanting upward as you swallow hard. He growls into your cunt, making your legs wobble. You grab a tuft of hair at the top of his head, yanking him closer. He tries to pull away and protest but you shove him back in. “Don’t stop–” Your moans are a little embarrassing but you can’t hold back how desperate you are. Fuck, did you need this bad. 

He keeps your legs pried apart just as they start closing around his head. Even when he’s doing what you demanded, he still feels as though he’s getting his way. Every flick and drag of his tongue has you at his will. He pulls away, tugging your fist from his hair and watching the disbelief form on your face. 

He looks up at you with his brown eyes blown and hair messy, licking you off his lips before smirking. There was that urge again. To sink to your knees and scratch, slap, kiss– do something to his infuriating face. You clench your teeth and try to push him back but he dodges you, pulling back completely and enjoying your protests. 

“Fine I’m calling–” You gasp, hands flying to his hair as he grabs your thighs and runs his tongue between your folds. His tongue catches your hole, threatening to slip in only to run to your clit and back. Your knees buckle, balance getting screwy but Beomgyu holds you steady. He curls his tongue into your heat, repeatedly scooping out your essence that’s gushing for him.

Then he pulls back again and you whimper, two actions that have you deeply disappointed. “What the fuck.” You shout at him. He makes a show of licking his lips. “I bet you would beg for my tongue, wouldn’t you?”

“What?!”

“Do it. Say please and I’ll make you cum.”

You go to deny him but he brushes the tip of his nose against your clit and sends the most violent shiver through your body. You whimper again, unable to deny the clawing need to cum anymore. “Fuck! Fine! Please, Beomgyu make me cum.” You’re too exasperated to put on a pleading tone but it’s enough for him.

He reattaches his mouth with a cocky grin, surveying your needy expressions closely as he sucks and licks your clit. Obscene noises fill the air along with your unrestrained moans. You clutch at him desperately, practically riding his face in your pursuit of release.

Beomgyu lets go of your thighs to free his cock. He pumps as you roll your hips against his face, holding his head steady. Your legs get progressively less reliable until your pussy is throbbing. With a moan of his name you cum on his tongue, stomach caving as his tongue continues to ravish you. His eyes are wild as he carries you through your trembling climax. You tug at his hair but he just hums. Not even that can bring him down as he squeezes and tugs on his hard cock, not intending to stop tonguing you until he’s finished himself. You pull his hair harder but he just grabs your leg with one hand and pushes in closer. Shoving his face deep within your folds, lapping at your sensitive nub and forcing a scream out of you. “Beomgyu! Enough!” You try but he only wiggles his face against you. Your stomach feels completely hollow, squeezing as another orgasm is forced out, gushing against his face until you have nothing else to offer. You suck in a large whoosh of air, holding it in before releasing it with a guttural groan.

With that, Beomgyu moans against your mound and shoots cum out his cock. Some streams reach far enough to hit your bare legs, most just ribbon over his fist. He stands up, completely disheveled and still jerking his cock. He breathes a laugh. “Please, Beomgyu make me cum!”

You roll your eyes at his childishness and shove at him, nearly pushing him over. “Shut up and get out.”

--🖱️▷

“Good morning, hyung.”

“Don’t talk to me.” Soobin responds breezily like it’s normal conversation, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Beomgyu watches Soobin maneuver around the kitchen. He rarely looks him in the eyes unless it’s to drive home an insult. 

“I did you a favor.”

“You refuse to listen so I refuse to talk to you.” He finally looks up at him during the last three words before brushing past him. 

“Just drop it. She’s been gone for a while now. You got what you wanted.” Yeonjun grumbles as he groggily enters the kitchen. 

“I’m not the one who needs to drop it.” Beomgyu responds, a hint of annoyance peeking through his cocky facade. 

“Soobin will talk to you on his own time.” He answers simply. Both of them were sat in the living room as if nothing was wrong. As if there wasn’t tension in the dorm now. Beomgyu scoffs.

“You know she’s more worried about her career than you.”

“That’s normal, Beomgyu.” Yeonjun turns on the tv but Beomgyu catches Soobin’s quick expression change. His brows drop, hanging heavy over his eyes as he thinks it over.

“Has she asked about me?” Soobin asks, looking up to reveal the vulnerability glinting in his eyes. Beomgyu finally untenses, moving to pour his own cup of coffee. He sets the cup down and sighs, pressing his hands to the counter before regarding his leader.

“Not even once.”

--🖱️▷

Your brain is desperate to focus on anything else than the lack of news, so you always notice when his footsteps are coming. You stand from your couch and open the door before he can. You expect a quip about how eager you are but are met with desperate lips. He moves inside your house before shutting the door with his foot. He’s frustrated today, you can feel it in the way he kisses you. His jacket is nothing but a disturbance so you push it over his shoulders and he lets it fall to the floor. Each time he pulls away and comes back he’s hungrier than before. There has been a comfortable, quiet acceptance established of what the other needs by now. 

Too bad you have to ruin it.

You reach for your phone in your pocket, cracking an eye open to open your camera. You position it to get both of you, deciding to snap a picture when his hands snake up to your neck. A place they’ve seemingly gotten comfortable. You snap another when he bites your lip. Another when he nips and kisses your jaw. Only then does he realize that you’re distracted. 

He opens his eyes, following your eye line until he spots the phone. His heart drops and he immediately reaches for it. You back away, quickly snatching the pepper spray from your coffee table and aiming it at him with your finger hovering over the button. A sense of hopelessness washes over him as he stops moving toward you. 

“You’re making a huge mistake.” His threat is dulled by the panicked look in his eyes and you resist the primal urges screaming at you. “This is going too far.”

“No, Beomgyu. You went too far when you got me fired.”

“You haven’t been fired yet–”

“You’re right.” You interrupt his dramatics and hold up a picture you took. “Because you’re going to tell them you lied.”

“And if I don’t you’re gonna show them proof that I wasn’t lying? Great plan.” Beomgyu is eased for a moment as more holes form in your plan. 

“No. I’m not showing this to them.” You lower the phone and hurriedly send the pictures to a trusted contact, shaky fingers reminding them of the plan right after as you mutter, “Someone else will post the picture publicly when I tell them to.”

“You’re willing to fuck yourself over too?!” Beomgyu erupts, racing toward you and only halting when you lay your finger on the trigger. 

“Beommie. You already fucked me. I’m fucked either way.” Your words slowly garner more venom, clenching your mouth shut when you see his resolve crumble. You chuckle bitterly. “You really think I would’ve just let you have your way with me with no consequences after what you did?”

“I didn’t mean for you to get kicked out. I only meant for them to ban you from the dorm.” Beomgyu admits regrettably. Like he was ashamed he wasn’t attempting to ruin your career.

“Well. Guess you really fucked up then. Get it done quick and make it believable for your sake.”

You keep your arm raised as he starts to walk away. He has this look of sarcastic acceptance on his face and you panic for a moment. Did he have something else up his sleeve? Was he going to snitch instead? You would still post the picture anyway, ruin the fantasy for his fangirls and his idol image. You had to do something other than wait in this damn apartment. And he had to understand you weren’t forgetting about the torment he put you through.

--🖱️▷

You heard nothing from Beomgyu for twelve days. Twelve days of radio silence and being cooped up in your apartment. You were borderline stir crazed but you were too scared to do anything. You found yourself holding your breath at times. 

He doesn’t show up at your house, but social media is blowing up. “Get well soon Beomgyu” is trending on Twitter. Turns out he’s on a “mental health hiatus”. Either that’s true and he’s chickening out or he’s on a temporary suspension as well. You don’t find out until the next day. 

“We would like to apologize and we hope you can forgive us and begin preparing for your debut again.” 

Your face lights up and you thank the executive profusely. You stand up and bow to everyone in the room, thanking them through your tears.

Whether or not Beomgyu showed up at your house hadn’t occurred to you nor did you care. You were rarely at home and busy rehearsing day in and day out. You were utterly exhausted, trudging home with sore legs one night when you saw him. He was waiting by your door, looking shocked when he notices you. 

“I already know you did your part. You don’t have to come here anymore.” You brush past him and push your keys into your door.

“We’re even now.”

You turn the keys and then the doorknob before stopping to spare him a glance. “I know.”

“You left me with blue balls last time and never made up for it.” He doesn’t even try masking the entitlement in his voice. You shove the door open, tonguing your cheek as you turn to face him.

“I don’t owe you anything and I still haven’t forgiven you.”

“Oh come on.” He rolls his head back dramatically. “Don’t make this difficult. What we have is fun and easy. We don’t have to tiptoe around each other, wondering if we said the wrong thing or whatever. We already know we hate each other.”

You sigh, already agitated mere minutes into the conversation. You enter your house and try to shut him out but he keeps it pried open with his hand. You turn to scowl at him to find he’s scowling back. You tug him in by his shirt and shove the door closed. 

“What we have isn’t mutual. It’s not “I hate you, you hate me”. You’re a terrible person and I–” Your rant loses steam as you take a step back and realize that this man is yet again in your home. “I keep subjecting myself to it.” You mutter under your breath regrettably. 

Beomgyu huffs a short laugh. “And what does that say about you?”

His words go down like shards of glass. Mostly because he’s right. He was right before, too. You don’t have to guess what’s going on in his head or what any of this means. You could kiss him right now and not have to worry about what it will mean tomorrow, what the next step for you two is. None of this will lead to mailing wedding invitations and discussing how you’ll split your income. It’s certain.

“Doesn’t really matter now does it?” You smirk as he pushes your jacket off and tosses it away. “No. Now let’s get on with this, Soobin’s getting on my fucking nerves again.”

“Wait.” You distance yourself from him. “Is something wrong with Soobin?”

“As if you care.” He cups the back of your neck and crushes your lips together. You hum a pitiful protest, wanting to continue the conversation but he tastes so fucking good. You finally gather the willpower to pull away. “He’s my friend, of course I care.” Your fingers tangle into his hair as he moves to mark up your neck. 

“You’re only asking about him now?” He mutters between nipping your neck just a little too hard. He’s amazing at pissing you off. You hiss, getting annoyed by his teeth and his words. “You really think I trust you enough to believe anything you say? You’re probably still turning them against me.”

“Lucky for you,” Beomgyu sinks his teeth into the apex of your shoulder and neck, intending to leave a reminder, “they’re on your side.”

“Huh,” You bite your lip and arch into him. The upper hand, you think. Always feels good.

“Don’t even say anything.” He growls into your neck. Before you could do just that he was pulling you to your kitchen and bending you over the counter. “We never make it to the bedroom.” You chuckle. The glee in your voice was sickening. “What did I say.” He warns.

“Aw, what’re you gonna do? Have sex with me? Scary.” You laugh, gasping in delight when he rips a hole in your leggings. “Not gonna shut up?” He grits, seething at your neverending smugness. You hear him behind you, angrily undoing his jeans and shoving them to his ankles. What you don’t see coming is him shoving you full of his cock in one fierce thrust. You gasp harshly this time, reaching back to push at his legs. “So fucking annoying.”

He thrusts you into the counter, banging your pelvic bone against it repeatedly. You fall forward onto the cool material but get lifted back up when he grabs you by your hair. He holds you at that awkward angle and keeps you there as he hammers into you. “Sh-shit!” You try to push back on him and attempt to regain your upper hand but he never ceases. With his other hand he lashes his palm over your ass, dick aching with each yelp you let out. He keeps going until your flesh feels red hot.

But it doesn’t matter. None of this tantrum of his matters. At the end of the day you still deflected each of his attempts to screw you over. They all failed. “Give it to me Beommie.” You mewl obnoxiously. He keeps spanking you until his own hand starts to hurt and curses under his breath.

God, does it feel good. Hate fucking is one thing, but nothing makes your cunt purr like successfully getting under Beomgyu’s skin. He should’ve never told you that. You squeeze around him teasingly, humming when he groans. You’re distracted from your teasing when he readjusts, aiming right for your g-spot. Your resolve melts and you wish for nothing more than to lie forward, go completely limp. Your back and neck start to ache and you whine.

Beomgyu growls again, egged on by your sniveling. The things he’d do to hear you beg for him to let go of your hair are endless. He wouldn’t do it, of course, but it’s your suffering that matters. You whimper, “Beomgyu,”

“What?” He tugs your head back and you release another sweet noise. 

“Right there… that feels good. Don’t stop.” Your voice is so quiet, much different than how you usually are. Not to mention what you said, which took quite a while to register. Beomgyu stops for a moment and you protest, but he needed a moment. He shuffles his feet awkwardly before letting go of your hair. You flop to the counter, welcoming the return of your mobility. He grabs your hips and starts stimulating your sweet spot again. You dissolve into the pleasure and he does too. Without the constant bickering and trying to show each other up you could just… relax.

Your body still aches a bit from the straining and spanking but it’s slowly recovering as your high approaches. Beomgyu moans and leans forward, curling his hands around your wrists as his hips continue to smack against yours. An intricate knot loops in your belly and is pulled tighter and tighter with each genuine sound of pleasure from Beomgyu. He’s actually kinda bearable when he isn’t blabbering a bunch. You rest your cheek against the cool counter as the pleasure practically incapacitates you. Placating all your defenses and strong emotions until you’re a numb blob melting onto the counter. Your debut song is way out of your register and you have practice again in the morning but no one couldn’t tell any of that was the case if they looked at you right now. 

All that mattered was the smooth dick easing in and out of you and the tightening knot and his grip tightening around your wrists and his body moving against you and–

“I’m cumming!” You gasp out before pushing your ass against him as a gush of arousal floods around him. He pulls you up abruptly, holding your body against him as he pumps into you for the last few times. He sees the blinding light of the first of many climaxes for the next month or so. He holds you there until his own climax subsides, yours flickering out a while before. Then he lets you go. You were going to be seeing each other a lot, so there was no need to stay after the deed was done. It didn’t need to be complicated.

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[zot3-flopped]

There's a piece on the Daily Mail that gives a very interesting behind-the-scenes of Liam's life (they also talk about a big childhood trauma but "whose full details the Mail has chosen not to publish"). It's behind a paywall but I've discovered that many times the reading mode in Firefox and Safari gets through anyway, so here it is:

---

Liam Payne's serious childhood trauma and why having a baby so young with Cheryl couldn't bring the stability that may have saved him: KATIE HIND

It was the autumn of 2011, and I had been summoned to Sony Music’s west London HQ to meet Britain’s hottest new boy band.

A few months earlier, five hopeful teenagers had auditioned for ITV��s X Factor talent show – and the music impresario Simon Cowell had drawn them together to form One Direction.

The fledgling stars had already attracted a global fanbase in the millions: a juggernaut that was drawing comparisons to 1960s Beatlemania, even though they had yet to release a song.

Now that was about to change. The band’s debut single, What Makes You Beautiful, was launching the following week – and I was there to interview the boys behind it.

Although they had seemed like sweet young things when we had briefly met at the Fountain Studios in Wembley, north-west London, during their X Factor live shows the previous year, I had expected these precocious adolescents to now be full of self-importance at their growing fame.

How wrong I was.

I arrived to find five handsome young men politely waiting to greet me, but one of them stood out thanks to his cute curly hair and his charming, talkative manner.

No, not Harry Styles – the only ex-1D member who has gone on to forge a successful, long-term solo career – but Liam Payne. Dressed down in a navy hoodie and jeans, Liam wrapped me in a warm hug and excitedly introduced me to his bandmates – Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik – in his strong Wolverhampton accent.

Looking younger than his 18 years, Liam told me how badly he was missing his beloved mum Karen’s cooking – so much so that he had resorted to eating chicken dippers warmed up in the microwave.

Living as he was out of suitcases in hotels, he asked me for ironing tips as he had yet to learn how to use one – and said he still spent much of his free time playing Nintendo.

He admitted that he had practised putting his hands behind his back and trying to sing like his hero Liam Gallagher, the snarling Oasis frontman. ‘I probably looked a bit stupid though,’ he said.

He also spoke lovingly about West Bromwich Albion, the football team he had supported since he was a young boy – though he regretted that he no longer had time to cheer them on in person.

As for girls, Liam told me he preferred shy and quiet ones, although he revealed he’d fallen in love with X Factor’s 2006 winner Leona Lewis, while he found singer Tulisa Contostavlos ‘really, really hot’.

Overall, he struck me as an innocent abroad – a child, really – who seemed too vulnerable a soul to last long in the cut-throat music world.

As the years passed, I met Liam many times at industry events and in chance encounters – and I never shook that worrying sense that he was, in some ways, a lost little boy.

I could never have known, of course, that just 13 years after our first interview, Liam would perish in the most terrible circumstances – following a long spell of torment, scandal and drink and drug abuse.

His descent into addiction had been playing out, in public and in private, for years – worsened by his fragile emotional state.

Many had tried to help him quit the substances that were destroying his life, but to no avail: following his death in Buenos Aires’s five-star CasaSur hotel on Wednesday evening, what appeared to be cocaine and heroin paraphernalia were found in his wrecked suite, with its smashed TV and half-drunk flutes of champagne.

It was a squalid end for one of the most famous young men in the world, so adored by ‘Directioners’ that he insisted he couldn’t leave his hotel without a large security detail (although it’s worth pointing out that other former bandmates, including the global megastar Styles, often travel without huge entourages).

So where did it all go wrong for him – and how did that smiling boy I met all those years ago, rough around the edges as he was, come to such a terrible end?

There is no doubt that he struggled, even more than his bandmates, with that explosive early fame and notoriety.

In a candid moment at 2014’s Brit Awards, Liam told me how difficult he found it to be unable to blend into a crowd. The band’s relentless schedule had taken its toll on him, as had the long months away from home.

He often wished, one of his friends later told me, that he had gone to university like many of his schoolmates.

Of course, Liam came to enjoy a lifestyle unimaginable to his old contemporaries at St Peter’s Collegiate, his Church of England secondary school in Wolverhampton.

Despite his insatiable appetite for drugs, his large property portfolio, his endless jaunts on private jets, taste for high fashion and luxury hotel stays, his bank balance was still thought to be in the millions when he died.

For all his fears that he had peaked so young, he still had decades ahead of him – and ample time to grow into the contented father to Bear, his son with Girls Aloud star Cheryl Tweedy, his friends and family longed for him to become.

But I can reveal that behind that smiling, cherubic face, Liam had suffered serious trauma in his childhood: a shadow from which he felt he could never escape and whose full details the Mail has chosen not to publish.

One friend told me: ‘Before he even began his showbiz career, he had demons from his formative years. He struggled with that and never quite got over it. He was in a band with four other guys, he could get any girl he wanted and he was earning millions – but he struggled to enjoy any of it.’

I can vouch for that: of all the 1D members, Liam seemed by far the most uncomfortable with his fame and fortune.

I would see him most years at the Brits, where at first he would dash over to say hello, often reminding me that he had enjoyed me asking him ‘fun questions’ at our first interview.

Yet as time went on, his chaotic living began to catch up with him, and his manner became ever more unpredictable.

In February 2013, at a Brit Awards afterparty organised by his music label at the upmarket Arts Club in Mayfair, I saw him drunkenly dancing with his bandmates – by far the most bleary-eyed of them.

That December, I bumped into him in the Kurt Geiger shoe shop in Canary Wharf, east London, where he was buying his then girlfriend Sophia Smith – a former school sweetheart – a pair of boots for Christmas.

Gone was his carefree demeanour of just two years earlier, he now seemed strikingly shy. He told me he had bought a penthouse flat in the Docklands, and at my insistence, he posed for a picture with me before dashing off.

During 2013’s Take Me Home tour, the band performed an average of a concert every two days, completing 124 dates between February and November. That, I’m told, put unbearable pressure on Liam, who would often say that he ‘just wanted to be normal’.

Of course, the fame came with perks – women chief among them. Liam’s best-known romance was with Cheryl, who was ten years his senior, which had begun in 2016 following her split from her French husband Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini.

They quickly became the most talked-about couple in showbiz –and only six months after they were confirmed to be an item, Cheryl revealed she was expecting their baby.

For Liam, however, the pregnancy was a huge shock: he was, he allegedly told friends, not ready to become a dad.

With 1D having gone on ‘permanent hiatus’ in 2016, he was trying to launch his solo career, and becoming a father – especially to a woman a decade older than him –was not part of his plans.

He told friends that he felt like Cheryl, who was 33 when Bear was born, had used him so she could have a baby.

When Bear, now seven, was born in 2017, Cheryl grew increasingly fed up that she was stuck at home with the baby while Liam was away jet-setting.

‘Liam was flying around the world promoting his music,’ said a friend. ‘He was in the zone Cheryl had been in ten years before with Girls Aloud. It led to some furious rows.

‘He began using private jets so he could get home quicker, but it wasn’t enough. Cheryl wanted a proper family unit and Liam just could not give it to her. Things got really bad and tempestuous. Liam was a young lad in his early 20s and he just wasn’t ready for it all.’

Inevitably, they split up – giving Liam even more time to ‘go off the rails’, as one former associate of the star describes it.

Even when they were co-parenting, Cheryl desperately hoped that Liam and Bear would develop a strong father-son bond, despite Liam’s addiction issues.

‘Cheryl knew what a state he was in,’ says a source. ‘She wished she could make it better.’

And she wasn’t alone in that wish: as Liam turned from being a cheerful teenager into a tormented, angry young man, many of those closest to him tried unsuccessfully to rescue him.

He was dropped by more than one of his managers due to his erratic behaviour and his failure to turn up to work engagements.

In September 2017, Cheryl, Liam and Bear went on a luxury holiday to Majorca: a birthday treat for Liam. But he injured himself while drunk.

As the years went on, he only got worse.

In 2022, a gurning Liam appeared to be high on drugs at a post-Oscars party in Hollywood. In footage that went viral for all the wrong reasons, he replaced his Wolverhampton twang with a bizarre Los Angeles accent.

One friend of Liam’s called me in horror to share their fears that he ‘really wasn’t OK’. Last year, Liam moved to a sprawling mansion near the Buckinghamshire town of Chalfont St Giles to be further away from the temptations of London and closer to Bear, who lived nearby with Cheryl.

However, neighbours tell me that he brought his problems with him. They would often spot him coming home in the early hours in chauffeur-driven cars, often with women in tow.

While I’m told he tried to see Bear regularly, his unpredictable lifestyle frequently made this impossible. Instead, Cheryl was largely left to bring up the little boy alone with the help of her mother Joan.

Liam’s new home was also close to a woman who some describe as his fairy godmother – the Olympic heptathlon gold medallist Denise Lewis.

Her husband Steve Finan worked with Liam for several years and the couple were at his side through some of his most difficult times – including his fall-out with Cheryl.

He would often stay at their home as they battled to keep him sober.

‘Liam adored Denise,’ says a source. ‘She mothered him and really tried to support him.’

Yet in recent months, his life was clearly spiralling out of control. His on-off girlfriend, Maya Henry, 23, had recently hired lawyers to send a ‘cease and desist’ letter to the star, accusing him of repeatedly contacting her and her loved ones.

Liam’s friends insisted he was angry and upset at her, adding that her behaviour was due to her wanting to publicise her new book.

And only last week, I’m told Liam had a huge row with his manager over his forthcoming album, whose release – to Liam’s fury – had been delayed because it was deemed ‘too poppy’.

A source said: ‘There was a blazing row and the album was put back again. The single from it had flopped and there were concerns. Liam desperately wanted that album to come out: despite everything, he thought of himself as a musician.’

To make matters even worse, just a few days ago Liam’s record label dropped him.

Another source said: ‘People begged him to get help and suggested that he went to Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, but he wouldn’t take them up on it.’

His most recent girlfriend was Texan model Katie Cassidy, whom he thought might have been The One. She too had tried to help him, but left Argentina to return to the US two days before he died.

‘Lots of people cared for Liam,’ said a source. ‘He had so much love around him.’

Yet all the love in the world was not enough to rescue this desperately unhappy young man, who for all his fame and fortune could never escape the demons that haunted him from his lost, tormented youth.

www dailymail co uk/tvshowbiz/article-13972405/Liam-Paynes-childhood-trauma-having-baby-young-Cheryl-bring-stability-saved-KATIE-HIND html

Thank you for this. Plenty of interesting insights here.

[allwaswell16]

[4 pics, 4 quotes, 4 iconic fics]

Iconic Fics by...

- Rearviewdreamer -

1.

“Lou says you’re around eight to ten weeks along if that helps,” she says to jog his memory.

Harry already knows exactly how far along he is. He doesn’t need Lou or his stupid hormone levels to tell him that.

“Wait a minute,” Niall interjects with narrowed eyes. “You were in Hawaii eight to ten weeks ago,” he points out like he’s the only one in the room who can fucking count.

“Yes, I was in Hawaii,” Harry confirms through gritted teeth.

“You hooked up with a random in Hawaii and you didn’t tell me?” Niall says with a scandalized expression. Harry swears he’s going to punch him.

2.

“A thing... as in a special sign between the two of you?” Gemma smirks. “That’s so gross it’s cute.”

“Shut up,” Harry rolls his eyes, attempting to hide his blush behind his coffee, but he knows it’s useless. “It doesn’t mean anything. People get name signs that are special. And, you and I have secret signs.”

“That we made up when we were five and wanted to sneak sweets behind mum’s back,” Gemma snorts. “But, I get it. Special signs for special people. Michal and I also had special signs when we were still PRETENDING to be just friends.”

3.

He genuinely looks disappointed until Louis closes the door behind them and then steps around Harry to lead the way down the corridor. Harry’s face lights up like the bloody sun and Louis rolls his eyes.

“Don’t smirk at me like you’ve won or whatever. I’m only going for the food. And I’m only leading the way to James’ office because you still don’t know how to get there.”

Harry quickly schools his face into seriousness, adding a serious nod along with it. “Oh, of course, Louis,” he says, delighted grin still shining through despite Louis’ request. “Whatever you say, mate.”

4.

In the long breath of silence that passes between them, Louis steps forward into his space making Harry go still before him. There are several alarm bells ringing in Harry’s head, but he doesn’t move when Louis leans in, bypassing Harry’s stunned lips to press a kiss to his cheek.

Those blue eyes pierce him yet again when they suddenly crinkle up with a fresh grin as he pulls away.

“What was that?” Harry asks, noting the peculiar, uneven rhythm of his heartbeat flooding his ears as the butterflies return to flood his stomach.

“A bookmark.”

- answers below -

1. Falling For Me Won't Be A Mistake 

Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

2. It Feels Different When You’re With Me

Harry fell in love with sign language as a kid. He never imagined the first love of his life would lead him straight to his second.

3. When It's Late At Night

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

4. You Might Want to Marry My Husband

When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.

[ @all-these-larrythings - Happy birthday!! ]