#but he’s actually just a pile of lava goo

[hiddensneker]

Shit post lava Kai dump from permanent changes au

[monstersdownthepath]

Milestone Monster: Mhar, the World Thunder

CR 26

Chaotic Evil Titanic Aberration

Pathfinder Adventure Path: Return of the Runelords: Rise of New Thassilon, pg. 86~87

IT’S TIIIIIIIME! please ignore the travesty of the ‘editing’ on the banner.

For untold millennia, Mhar has slumbered near the core of Golarion, nestled in the warmth of the planet’s heart. Born from a calamitous intersection of the Elemental Planes of Fire and Earth, Mhar is agonized by the sensation of its molten flesh cooling and hardening to the point it would do anything to escape the pain. Its current magma bath within Golarion is its latest attempt to keep warm, Or, rather, warm enough to remain sane long enough to gather the power it needs to enact its true plan: breaching into the Elemental Plane of Fire to forever bathe in the stone-melting heat.

A soft-hearted person like myself (Just look at its face in the picture! It’s crying!) may hear of Mhar’s plight and wish to aid it. All it wants to do is get into the Plane of Fire, right? Unfortunately, Mhar’s truly tremendous size (that green stuff beneath it? That’s an entire forest and lake) prevents it from traveling through a typical Gate spell, and most tragically of all is very specifically immune to the Plane Shift spell, an immunity no other Great Old One has. Dick move, Paizo, but I can understand why you did it. If a player manages to get past the communication barrier--Mhar speaks Aklo, Terran, and Ignan only, and its telepathy range is so small that you risk death by proximity--solving the encounter immediately by coaxing the critter into failing its save versus Plane Shift does not for a climactic encounter make. Sure, getting to Mhar is difficult, but having such a simple solution to its entire motivation can take the wind out of a battle.

... Or it may decide to crush you anyways. Who’s to say if it’s Chaotic Evil because it’s in incalculable pain, or if it’s alignment is separate from the agony? Whatever the case may be, awakening Mhar is an apocalyptic event as it madly lashes out against a world not meant for it. What does the World Thunder’s attack on a world look like? Lets see...

Though Mhar���s picture reveals creature is mountain-sized, players couldn’t reasonably attack such a thing without needing an entire kitchen floor as a space (artistic interpretation). Instead, combat with Mhar takes place against a cluster of its legs, which take up 50ft of space and have 50ft of reach. Mhar itself is so enormous that it benefits/is punished by the Massive rule, meaning it mercifully cannot make Attacks of Opportunity against creatures who are smaller than Huge size, and such creatures can clamber around on the Great Old One’s body... if they don’t mind the fact that being in physical contact with Mhar counts as being submerged in lava, dealing 20d6 Fire damage per round to whatever idiot thought grappling with/climbing on an active volcano was a good idea.

Side note on the thought of grappling: Mhar’s CMD is 69. Nice.

Though small folk might be safe from Attacks of Opportunity, they still have to contend with Mhar’s normal natural attacks! Another weakness of being so huge is that it can only manage to coordinate four of its legs against small targets, slamming them for 4d12+16 plus 2d6 Fire damage each time, which can be further augmented by Greater Vital Strike. It’s certainly not fun to get hit by all four, but spread out, that damage isn’t too bad... for melee characters,and their 30-ft pile of HP anyway. Squishies might want to stay back, though you don’t really get much of a choice in the matter since Mhar can cast both Wall of Fire and Wall of Stone at will, creating entire labyrinths in a single action that, of course, it can easily step over and even attack around due to its size.

Making melee even worse is that like all other Great Old Ones, Mhar has an Unspeakable Presence, and it’s one of the spookier ones out there at first glance: failing a DC 35 Will save (which must be made every single round) even once means you cannot breathe while you remain within 300ft of Mhar, even if you succeed on your save next round. LITERALLY a presence that prevents speaking! But I say “spooky at first glance” because the big beefy Fighter with his 25 Con can hold his breath for 50 rounds, which ticks down by 1 each round passively, and down by another 1 each time he takes a standard or full-round action. Still no problem for him! But what about the casters or Dex-based characters who dumped Con? For one, don’t dump Con. For another, suffocation instantly knocks your character to unconsciousness and 0 HP regardless of whatever invulnerability you may have in place, and more importantly, if you open your mouth to speak (such as to use verbal components for a spell), your remaining rounds of held breath plummet.

Getting close to Mhar opens the victim to a world of breathless pain, but staying at a range to strike it might be a fruitless endeavor. I know I’ve hammered on about its size for a while, but Mhar is surrounded on all sides by a 30ft thick Cloak of Ash that grants it concealment. Yes, despite being several hundred feet tall, it’s possible to miss Mhar entirely with ranged attacks due to the Cloak of Ash. At least there’s no mechanical downside to hiding out in the cloak yourself, though its enormous Blindsight and Tremorsense range (120ft and 600ft, respective) means it has no trouble finding you.

Though Mhar may not even bother with attacking such small creatures until they prove to be a menace. No, Mhar is angry at the entirety of the cosmos, and it takes this fury out on entire countrysides at a time. Thrice per day, it can rock the world with Earthquake, which is downright devastating when used in tandem with its Volcanic Tempest, a power it can unleash once every 1d6 rounds, blasting a 60ft area around it with choking ash (as Stinking Cloud) and a hail of molten earth that deals 8d6 bludgeoning and 8d6 Fire damage to all in the area. What makes this ability truly dangerous, though, and why it pairs so well with Earthquake, is that Mhar sprays the area of the Volcanic Tempest with lingering molten rock, which deals 20d6 Fire damage to everything standing in it each round if they can’t clamber out of it, which Earthquake can prevent by knocking everyone prone and right into the lava. Though this magma cools to harmless temperatures after 1 minute (or sooner if exposed to Cold magic), Mhar can unleash a new torrent every 1d6 rounds and will do so as early and as often as possible until everything around it becomes a charred hellscape. 

Even dying, Mhar leaves a charred hellscape behind. Immunity to Plane Shift isn’t the only unique quality Mhar has when compared to other Great Old Ones. It also has full on Regeneration instead of Fast Healing like every other GoO, and its Regeneration 20 is only suppressed by Electricity damage, of all things. With Electricity Resistance 30, it’s stupidly hard to hurt Mhar in a way that matters. Thankfully, its Earthen Regeneration only functions if it’s burrowed or otherwise submerged in stone or magma, shutting off if it surfaces… after a minute. Popping Mhar out of its magma bath still means it has 1 full minute of Regeneration that’s only bypassed by a specific elemental type it already has high resistance to, and its 120ft burrow speed means it can reactivate its healing each time it has access to the bare ground.

But lets say you get past that little caveat! When you finally triumph and finally slay Mhar, the entire mountain-beast explodes, spraying everything within 30ft of it with a crushing shower of stone and magma, dealing a jaw-dropping 30d6 bludgeoning and 30d6 Fire damage, making it one of the--if not The--hardest hitting single abilities in the game. And before you go ‘only 30ft? pah,’ remember that battling Mhar is just engaging portion of the thing at a time. It’s quite likely that the entire landscape gets blown to Kingdom Come once the molten mountain falls and the party ‘only’ has to worry about their 30ft patch because tracking that much damage across that big of a distance is a logistical nightmare.

Besides, if Mhar didn’t destroy the country then, it will in a year. Mhar’s Immortality has no real condition to it, as many do; it merely resurrects on the spot of its death one year after it dies as if restored with True Resurrection. According to its lore, Mhar actually comes back because being dead is even more painful than being alive once it passes a certain point, so the thing just wills itself back to life, which is EXACTLY the kind of Great Old One shenanigans I’m here for! I mean... Poor Mhar, but just willing yourself back to life in perfect health is pretty stellar.

Fun fact, Mhar only found out what death was like because someone else decided to use Golarion as a prison for another world-destroying abomination. Once Sarenrae tore open a hole in the planet and flung Rovagug into it, Rovagug accidentally clocked Mhar across the head and destroyed it instantly. It got better, but also got angrier, especially since the whole ‘tearing a hole in the world and throwing a god into it’ thing ruined its hibernation. It could have gotten a whole ‘nother six or seven millennia of peace out of Golarion’s core if that hadn’t happened! Mhar was SO upset by that, in fact, that its scream of anguish caused an entire mountain range to form!

Poor thing :( is it really any wonder it why it’s so cranky once it reaches the surface? At the very least, it knows what it has to do in order to finally achieve true peace: Get to the Plane of Fire. Unfortunately, its chosen path involves flooding Golarion with magma and using the magma as a focus to open a planet-sized portal to the Plane of Fire, which would destabilize the Material Plane and cause the entire thing to fall into the elemental plane, destroying everything as we know it.

But hey, at least Mhar will finally be able to sleep peacefully and without pain. And immunity to fire is pretty easy to get! Maybe living in the Plane of Fire won’t be so bad...

You can read more about him here.

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Fan Novel (Book 1, Chapter 3)

Darkness enfolds me, cold, quiet, and still. Then it stirs, creeping towards me. Powerful, rippling muscles. Glowing golden eyes...

I awake with a gasp beneath a leafy canopy in a four-poster bed. Sweat soaks the soft sheets and blanket. I flop back on the pillow, willing my heart to slow.

“What the hell was that thing?” I murmur aloud. It takes me a few moments to stop trembling. But once I do, I start to feel the effects of the night before creeping up on me, and I groan. I knocked back a couple more cocktails after coming back up from the beach, mostly to calm myself down. The throbbing pain behind my eyes tells me that was a very poor idea. Not to mention the effects of the late night in general. It occurs to me to wonder what time it is. I fumble for my phone on the nightstand beside me.

9:27am. And still no cell service. I check for a wi-fi signal, but there is none to be found. Not even a secured signal. I sigh and put the phone down. Might as well get up, I guess. I push back the covers, stumbling into the bathroom.

I turn on the shower and gulp some water from the sink while I wait for the stream to get warm. It doesn't take long, and I strip and step under the soothing water. The strong pressure feels like a gentle massage. The shower is stocked with exotic floral body washes and shampoos. I savor the fragrance as I scrub the sweat from my body and rinse the chlorine from my hair. I should have done that last night. Blonde hair and pool water usually don't mix. But so far my hair hasn't turned green. Sooner than I want to, I turn off the water and step out onto the mossy green bathmat. I gulp more sink water. I make the bed—because I haven't seen the housekeeping staff anywhere, either—pull on some clothes, and hang my towel to dry.

By the time I've finished brushing my teeth, the headache is fading, and my stomach is starting to growl. I take a few more gulps of water, tuck my room key into my pocket and wander down to the hotel restaurant.

I'm greeted by a chaotic scene, and a cacophony of smells from the buffet table.

“Uh, Raj,” Sean says, “when you said you were going to cook breakfast, I figured, you know, pancakes and bacon. Not...what is this, again?”

“The Raj Hangover Special 9000! A perfect scramble of eggs, potatoes, oysters, and bananas, topped off with pickle juice. Trust me, dudes, it'll cure your hangovers before you can say 'this tastes gross and weird.' Just try it.”

“...This tastes gross and weird,” Jake mutters.

Zahra grimaces. “I do not want this in this place, I do not want this in my face.”

“Y'all are missing out,” Craig declares, shoveling in another mouthful. “This shizz is delicious!”

“I once saw you eat a rock,” Michelle says flatly.

“That was a dare, and I won ten bucks!”

As they notice my entrance, my classmates go quiet.

“Well, well, well,” Jake drawls. “If it isn't the Girl Who Cried Monster.”

“Seriously, Alodia,” Raj laughs. “You shut down the party faster than the cops back home.”

“That's what you care about?” Estella sneers.

I smile sheepishly. “Sorry about that. I know I kinda freaked everyone out last night.”

“Pfft. Didn't freak me out,” Craig insists. “Nothing freaks Craig out!”

“Craig, let Alodia talk,” Sean chides.

“...That's pretty much it. I promise I'll try not to ruin anymore parties.”

“Good!” Raj says. “Because tonight, we're running it baaaaaack!”

Everyone laughs. I join in, but I stop when I notice Estela looking at me with disappointment.

“Hey, stranger.” Diego sidles up to me, holding a plate piled high with Raj's sizzling hangover cure. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I'm fine. It was just...a rough night.”

“Care for some breakfast?”

I eye the plate in his hands warily. The concoction looks like pureed scrambled eggs and smells like salted fish. “...I don't know if I should.”

“It's actually not bad.” He grins as my stomach growls audibly. “And face it, you need to eat something. Let's get you a plate.”

I relent, and move to the buffet table where I fill a plate with pale yellow salty-fish-scented goop. I fill a glass with orange juice.

“So, uh...I hate to give you a middle school flashback, but what table should we sit at?”

I look around for two empty seats. At one table, Michelle asks Raj and Craig where the resort gym is. At another, Aleister, Grace, and Zahra are discussing something Grace found at the beach. I drift over to the first table. I know Michelle hates me, but I like Raj, and I don't have anything against Craig. Besides, I can probably follow their conversation better.

“Hey, guys. I heard you talking about the gym? I'd totally be down to hit that up.”

Michelle scoffs. “Oh, sweetie, did you think I was talking to you? I'm going to the gym because I want to work out, not watch you have another meltdown.”

“Hey!” Diego says. “At the peak of her gymnastics career, Allie was in the gym about five hours a day!”

“Slight exaggeration. And I hardly had a career.” But I flash him a grateful smile.

“Come on, Michelle,” Raj chimes in. “Go easy on Alodia. We're all stuck on this island together, we might as well get along.”

“Pfft. Says you. I don't get along with anyone I don't want to.”

“Craig, dude, you don't get along with anyone, period.”

“He's got you there,” Michelle says.

I cover a chuckle by stuffing a forkful of egg goo into my mouth. ...It's like eating a pile of mushy salt with fish, banana, and egg aftertaste. If only I weren't so hungry. I gulp the rest of it before I can taste too much.

“Hey, you got that down pretty quick,” Raj remarks. “Did you like it?”

“...I'm going to be tasting that in my burps all day.”

“Absolutely!”

At that moment, the door swings open, and Lila enters, looking bright-eyed and flawless.

“Good morning, everyone! I hope you're all enjoying your lovely breakfast in our five-star restaurant. But I might've found out what happened to all the guests.” She pauses to let us react, but we're all waiting for her to continue.

“...Well?” Jake prompts. “Spit it out, Dimples.”

“Well, I went into the staff office to look for information. One of the computers in there, the one used for island-wide broadcasts, was still running. It turns out exactly two days ago, at 3:45 PM, someone used the emergency broadcast system to trigger a full evacuation of the hotel.”

“An evacuation?”

“It's a standard procedure at all Rourke International resorts. In the event of a natural disaster, the guests vacate the premises and head to a secure shelter.”

“A natural disaster?” I snicker. “You mean like Raj's cooking?”

Craig laughs. “Ha! Buuuuuuuurn!”

Raj presses his fist to his chest. “Ouch, Alodia. Major ouch.”

Lila blinks. “Yes. Well...questionable cooking aside, the evacuation procedures here were designed specifically to handle only certain cases. A hurricane, a viral outbreak, or Mount Atropo finally erupting.”

“Yeah, well, I don't see any hurricanes, virus, or lava flows,” Jake says skeptically.

“So, why trigger the evacuation procedure?” Sean asks.

“False alarm, maybe,” Quinn suggests. “But in that case, why hasn't anyone come back?”

“Perhaps everyone is still at the shelter,” Estela says thoughtfully. “Lila, where is it?”

“I...don't entirely know. I've never actually been there. But the signs on the trail say we'll find it if we hike north for a few miles.”

“I'm in,” Jake says.

Lila blinks again. “I'm sorry?”

“You're going to go look for it, right? Well, I'm coming with you. The rest of these kids are having fun playing Home Alone 2: Island Boogaloo, but I was already supposed to be in Cancun. I'm losing cash every second I waste here.”

“I will come as well,” Aleister says. “I...I'd like to get the lay of the land around here.”

“I want to go too!” Quinn chimes in. “I'd love to help out and see some of the sights.”

“How about you, Princess? You coming?”

I start a little. “...Me?” Involuntarily, I think of the thing I saw in the shadows last night. “Well...I...”

Jake waves a hand. “Hey, don't worry about it. If you're scared, you're scared. Just stay back here with the rest of the Goof Troop.”

“Wait! I'm coming, too.”

“You are?” Diego raises an eyebrow at me. “Why?”

I shrug. “I want to see the island. This hotel is great, but there's so much more to see. I want to see the jungles and the ruins and the waterfalls.”

He smirks. “And the creepy bomb shelter that is almost certainly full of zombies?”

“Exactly!”

“Fine, fine. I'll go with you. But only so I can say 'I told you so' when something horrible attacks us.”

I grin and give him a thumbs up. “That's the spirit!”

“All right, then!” Lila claps her hands. “Let's head out!”

* * *

A short time later, four of us follow Lila down a winding path through the rainforest. Jake and Aleister lag behind. Quinn, looking angelic in a white blouse with a white bandana tied like a babushka over her copper hair, skips ahead a little ways to marvel at the flowers on the trees and bushes. The flowers glow with a soft, colorful light. When I first saw them, I thought they were lightbulbs, something draped over the foliage like Christmas lights. But the glow is coming from inside the petals themselves.

“Unbelievable,” Quinn breathes. “These colors, these textures...they're like something out of a dream.”

“I've never seen anything like it,” I agree.

“Beautiful, right?” Lila says. “Due to its geographic isolation, La Huerta has one of the most unique ecosystems on the planet, boasting flora and fauna not found anywhere else.”

“Sure thing, Minnie Mouse,” Jake grumbles. “Keep spewing that Rourke International propaganda. I ain't buying it.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Aleister snaps.

“I'm just saying. All the brochures go on about how this place is some sorta Disney paradise. But drink in the right dive bars, and you'll start to hear rumors about what really goes on here. Criminal plots, illegal experiments, folks going missing...all kinds of crazy.”

Quinn wrinkles her nose. “Conspiracy theories? Really?”

“Laugh it up, Pippi Longstocking. While you were busy tweeting about your pumpkin spice latte, I was flying covert missions over Kandahar. Once you've peeked behind that curtain...well, let's just say there's some things out there that would blow your mind. The pretty purple flowers you're ooh-ing and ahh-ing about? They might just be sizzling with radiation.”

“That is preposterous!” Aleister cries.

“What do you think, Princess? You trust this place?” I hesitate a moment, eyeing the flowers. Then I back away. Jake nods approvingly. “Knew I could count on you.”

Aleister rolls his eyes. “Tell me you don't believe his conspiracy theory prattle.”

“I don't know what I believe, but I say better safe than sorry. Unique ecosystem or not, flowers should not glow like that.”

“Well, I still think they're beautiful,” Quinn says with finality. “And I'm not going to let some conspiracy theory keep me from appreciating that.”

She plucks a flower and puts it to her nose, inhaling deeply. ...Oh, my God, she is adorable. Diego elbows me lightly.

“What's with that goofy smile?” he whispers.

“Oh, shut up, Diego,” I hiss back, feeling myself blush.

Ahead of us, Lila stops suddenly and looks around in confusion. “...This...doesn't make any sense.”

“What?”

“Well, the signpost said the shelter should be right here...”

“Oh, great!” Aleister groans. “Even the tour guide's lost. What do they pay you for, again?”

“Tactical scouting 101 kids,” Jake says. “Get to high ground. See that rocky cliff over there? I'm checking it out.”

“Oh!” Quinn exclaims. “Do you hear that? Sounds like a waterfall nearby. The shelter might be near that.”

“Or you just want to go check out the waterfall,” Diego quips.

“Or that,” she agrees sweetly.

“I really think we should stick to the trail,” Lila says. “The shelter might be further ahead.”

“We could split up,” I suggest. “Cover a little more ground.”

“I'll stick to the trail with Lila,” Diego says.

Aleister crosses his arms stubbornly. “Well, I am staying right here. I see no reason to traipse around on some fool's errand.”

“Well, y'all know where I'm headed,” Jake says. He looks at me. “You wanna keep me some company, Princess?”

“Uh...yeah. Sure.”

“Stay within shouting distance!” Lila calls as we split off.

Jake and I head off through the undergrowth towards the hilltop. Jake moves easily through the dense tangle of leaves and branches. He deftly hops a log and slides under a low-hanging branch.

“Impressive. You do this a lot?”

“Get stranded on mysterious islands with a group of plucky college kids? Gotta say, it's a first.”

“I meant, go hiking, walk through jungles, that kind of thing. You seem pretty confident in the outdoors.”

“I grew up in a Louisiana town so rural it wasn't even on the map. When it comes down to it, the swamp and the jungle ain't so different.”

“Probably not as many gators out here though.”

“Less gators, more jaguars. I'll call it even. How about you, Princess? This your kinda scene?”

“Actually, yeah. I mean, I admit I grew up in the SoCal suburbs, but I love the outdoors. The blue sky overhead...the fresh air...that soft sea breeze... I should probably be more freaked out. Especially after that...whatever...I saw last night. Being out here, like this, I don't know. I can't help but feel happy.”

Jake raises an eyebrow at me. “That why you came along with me? You felt like a nature hike?”

“Well, you invited me. And...I guess I felt safer following you than Lila.You're confident. You're capable. And you seem to know what you're doing here more than she does. Or any of us for that matter.” I pause. “...Come to think of it, why would you ask me to come along?”

He shrugs. “Because I can already tell you're going to be the horse to back here.”

“I...what?”

“You're smart. Maybe not book smart. At least, not as much as Draco Malfoy back there, or...what's her name with the glasses?”

“Grace.”

“Right. Grace. But you've got a good head on your shoulders. You're also braver than either Grace or Malfoy, and when it comes down to it, I would bet money you're the one everyone's going to look to when things go sideways.”

“You say that like you're expecting them to go sideways.”

“I am, Princess. I am.”

I can't tell if he means that, or if he's just being facetious “...Are you ever going to call me by my real name?”

“When you've earned it.”

“I think you've forgotten it.”

“Have not. I saw all your boarding passes in Costa Rica. ...It's Alodia Chandler, right? Or do you prefer Allie?”

“Alodia. Diego's the only one who gets to call me Allie. That's a right you have to earn.”

“...Are you and he...?”

“Me and Diego? Please. I've known him since we were in diapers. He's practically my brother. Besides...” I discreetly point towards my pubis. “I'm missing a piece he finds essential. ...Best friend I've ever had, though.”

“Thought so. Got that vibe from him.”

“Is it that obvious? I know he's not Sean Gayle, but he's not camp, either.”

“He's not lisping or limp-wristing. It's pretty subtle. And if you've known him all your lives it's probably harder for you to pick up on since it's all just your friend to you.” He pauses. “And I'd be surprised if Sean Gayle hasn't kissed at least a couple boys in his time.”

“You think he's bi?”

“I think he's attracted to personality more than what's between a person's legs. Call that what you will.”

“For a lone wolf type, you seem pretty confident in your ability to read people. Or maybe it's just your amazing gaydar.”

“Well, it is damn amazing. Of course, it's wasted on you.”

“What do you mean?”

He grins. “Come on. You're not exactly subtle. If we put Quinn and Sean in front of you and had them bend over, you wouldn't know which ass to stare at.”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in. Then I laugh. “You're a brat, Top Gun! What about you, then? What's your pleasure?”

His smile slips. He looks away. “...Been a long time since I've shared my bed with anyone, man or woman.” He turns back to me with a wry grin. “Hard to get frisky in a hammock. ...But it don't much matter to me what a person's got in their pants. It's what's in their head that I'm picky about.”  

I am distracted from responding when we break through the branches and arrive at the foot of a sharp, jagged cliff face.

“If we can just get up that, we'll have a clear view,” he says. “How's your rock climbing?”

“Great. I mean...pretty good. Average?” I shrug apologetically. “I'm a gymnast, but I've really only done rock-climbing at the Y. But I never broke anything.”

“Good enough for me.”

He crouches down and gives me a boost, hoisting me up to a low ledge. Together, we carefully ascend the cliff face, grabbing handholds and sticking our toes in cracks to stabilize ourselves. Before too long, Jake crests the top. I'm just a few inches behind him when the rock I'm holding onto breaks off in my hand. I cry out, grabbing at the ledge, and hook my fingers on the edge. Jake grabs my arms and helps me up.

“Nice moves, Princess. Looks like you learned from the stairs on the control tower.”

“Still glad for the help.”

We take a moment to catch our breath, looking out over the island.

“...I gotta hand it to this place,” I say softly. “It never stops taking my breath away.”

“That's the radiation.”

I sigh. “You're a real glass-half-full kinda guy, aren't you?” I mutter.

“...I'm on an island owned by Rourke International. Don't trust that they haven't poisoned this place. In the military, I served near some of their mining operations. ...Massive machines that dwarfed skyscrapers. The kind that rob the earth blind and leave it barren.”

“...I gotta admit I didn't take you for an environmentalist.”

“I'm not. I just think you reap what you sow.”

“So...you believe in karma?”

“Doesn't matter what I believe. In my life, karma's made it pretty clear that it believes in me.” He pauses. “...Seriously, though...that is one hell of a sight...”

“No weird lights in the sky, either.”

“For now.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“...Hey...what's this?”

Jake kneels and brushes at some dirt. I see something glinting in the sun. I kneel beside him. Embedded into the stone is a square-shaped metallic plate with what looks like the head of a wolf embossed on it.

“What is that?”

“I dunno.” Jake frowns, staring at the plate. “There's no writing or anything. Looks like...some kinda wolf?”

“You think it's part of the resort? Like the corporation put it here?”

“Maybe...but why? If it's a warning that there are wolves in the area it's a pretty crap warning, given its location. And I don't know many species of wolves that live in the rainforest.”

I slide my phone out of my back pocket and snap a quick picture of the plate. As I tuck my phone back into my pocket, something catches my eye.

“Jake, look! Down by that river over there...the gray building? Sure looks a lot like...”

“A shelter! Hot damn! Good eyes, Princess!”

“Couldn't have got here without you.”

We smile at each other for a long, silent moment. Then Jake clears his throat.

“We, uh...should probably head back. Find the others and tell them where to go.”

“Yeah. We should. Definitely.”

Jake takes a step towards the edge, then looks back. “Gotta say...this was actually kind of fun. Maybe before I fly back, we can go on another climb together.”

“Sure. I'd like that.”

We regroup with the others and make our way to the shelter. The enormous concrete and cinder building is covered with creeping vines.

“Great job, Jake and Alodia!” Lila chirps. “You found it!”

“I wouldn't go popping the champagne just yet,” Diego says. “Anyone else getting some 28 Days Later vibes off this place?”

“It does look a little...dilapidated,” Quinn agrees. “How old is this place?”

“It's no older than the resort,” Lila says. “I will have to have a stern word with the caretakers!”

“Whole point of a shelter is keeping you safe inside, not looking good outside,” Jake points out with a shrug. “Come on.”

Lila pushes open the doors, revealing a long hallway that looks just as dilapidated as the outside. Vines snake along the floor, and broken fixtures overhead cough sparks.

“...Empty...”

Jake shudders. “On second thought, maybe Pop Culture Petey was right. This place gives me the creeps.”

“I finally get a nickname, and it's 'Pop Culture Petey'?” Diego mutters indignantly. “Everyone else got a cooler one!”

“Not everyone. I'm 'Princess', remember?”

“Anyone else want to go back to the pretty jungle with the magic flowers?” Quinn asks in a small voice. “Anyone?”

Jake kneels and trails his fingertips on the ground. “There's a lot of muddy shoeprints around. They seem recent.”

“You mean the guests were here?”

“Well...someone was.”

A skittering sound makes us all startle. Jake leaps to his feet.

“What was that?”

I look in the direction the sound seemed to come from. There is a gaping hole in the far wall where the concrete has crumbled. Vines and glowing flowers cover the edges like a wreath. ...Or dried blood on a wound, I think involuntarily.

I approach cautiously, the others gathering behind me. At the edge of the hole, I hesitate. Then I gather my courage and peer inside.

“...There's something in there.”

“What do you see?” Diego asks.

Something shifts in the darkness. Two spots of reflected light glint out of the shadows. A pair of eyes.

“There's something alive in there!”

“Certainly it's just a rat,” Aleister says most uncertainly. “...Right?”

There's a strange clicking sound that comes from inside the hole, separate from the sound of claws scraping on stone that accompanies it.

“That's no rat,” Jake murmurs.

“Allie, is that the...thing you saw last night?”

“...It's...” I'm cut off by my own cry as the shape rushes towards me, its shadow huge on the wall, and pounces into the light. We all whirl towards it, and stop.

A creature about the size and shape of a fox, with violet eyes and ice-blue fur, sits on its haunches in front of us and cocks its head.

“Mrrlk?” it trills curiously.

“...What the...?”

“Oh...my...God!” Quinn squeals.

“What...is it?” Aleister asks.

“Uh, literally the cutest thing I've ever seen!” Quinn answers, practically beaming.

“Okay, can we all officially agree this is not a real animal?” Jake says.

As if understanding, the fox-thing trills sadly, its tail and ears drooping. It backs away from us into a corner, trembling. Frost clings to the walls behind him.

“Huh...it looks scared.”

“But what would it be scared of?” I ask. “Us?”

Any reply I might have gotten is cut off by a deep growl from directly behind me. My veins turn to ice. I turn slowly.

An enormous feliform beast is prowling towards us from the shadows, muscles rippling under skin and golden-brown fur. Massive cuspids, each at least the length of my hand from fingertips to wrist, descend from its upper jaw. My heart drops into my stomach. I know in an instant that I'm looking at the creature I saw last night.

“That!” Aleister cries. “That! It's scared of that!”

“You think?!” Lila shrieks.

The fox creature scurries behind me, curling against my ankles.

“Jake!” I cry. “What do we do?!”

Jake looks at me. For the first time, he looks scared. He grabs my hand and holds it tight.

“Don't. Move.”

[bobsantics]

Chapter 5

Bob had a car. It wasn’t a huge car, nor was it particularly small. It wasn’t red, or blue, or orange, and it was most certainly not a Prius. It didn’t have four doors at all, and it was neither roofless nor roofed. It was quite the standard car, not one of those fancy three dimensional 1080p cars everyone wants. Bob could never afford one of those. Heck, he couldn’t even afford this one. But, alas, the car was there, and it was his.

As he walked towards the car, Bob failed to actually see the car, so he walked aw…

Wait a minute.

Bob went back and examined the spot where the car was, but saw no car.

No, this is not right. The car was there. There was a lovely car there just waiting to be driven. So Bob did not open the car’s door and he… no, no, no. What is going on? He DID… not open the car door and he walked away.

Okay, that’s it. I can’t work like this. I’m summoning the Manager.

Uh, Manager? Are you there?

“I AM AMBIANCE. I AM THE FABRIC OF THIS UNIVERSE. OF ALL UNIVERSES. I AM AMBIANCE. I DWELL IN THE SYNAPSES BETWEEN THE NEURONS THAT IMAGINE THIS WORLD. I AM THE WORDS. I AM THE LETTERS. I AM THE PIXELS AND THE INK. I AM AMBIANCE. YOUR EXISTENCE IS A MERE CONSEQUENCE OF MY WILL.”

Yes, see, I was just trying to give Bob a car, but he kinda won’t actually see the car? It’s like it wasn’t even there. Maybe it’s an error in the system, or perhaps something got unplugged or something?

“I AM THE AIR YOU INHALE. I AM THE LUNGS YOU INHALE IT INTO. I AM ETERNAL. I AM AMBIANCE. I BRING LIFE AND I BRING DEATH.”

Oh, yes, I figured. That’s probably it. Do you think you could get it fixed? I was really looking forward to giving Bob a car right now.

“I AM THE LIFELONG QUESTION. AND I AM THE ANSWER. I AM THE PASSION OF THE SEARCH. I AM THE FEAR OF FAILURE. I AM THE MEANING OF ALL MEANING. AND I AM NOTHING. I AM AMBIANCE.”

Thanks, man, really appreciate it! I’ll see you later!

Really love that guy, he’s so cool. Always there when you need him, and he has this thing about him… Like, seriously, if describing him was physically possible, you would totally agree with me there.

Anyway, let’s try that again.

Bob stopped having the coffee he was currently having at a nearby coffee joint, got up, and walked towards the c… jeep. Eh, close enough. Walked towards the jeep. And he did see the jeep. And he got into the jeep and drove away into the sunset. Awesome! Totally worked!

As Bob’s jeep went through the Sunset’s thick, gelatinous wall of orange plasma, Bob gazed at the gigantic half-dome in awe. It had been a long time since he had entered the Sunset. A long hypothetical time, arbitrarily forced into Bob’s head by a whimsical narration, as Bob had only been born that very same morning, but this fact was lost to Bob, as most facts were, and his mind plunged frontal-lobe-first into vague and yet vivid generic childhood memories.

And then, the memories were gone, and Bob found himself bathed in reddish light. Bob really liked being inside the Sunset. Especially during the winter, when the little sentient snowflakes came falling from the top of the dome like little glistening, transparent stars, wanting to chew on your ears until they looked no longer like ears or ear-based products, depending on your gender. But it wasn’t winter now, and the Sunset was really hot. But this did not bother Bob, as he was incapable of perceiving temperature.

Ahead of him, Bob spied ancient tongues of fire, nay, fusion-generated energy, with long, exhausted faces. He said “hi” to the tall one as he passed by, waving at it with a scorched hand, and the tongue replied, “nice jeep, bro!” But Bob was going too fast to hear it. Farther on down the road, Bob saw the ancient pagan Gods: the Denizen, endlessly wandering about, wondering about where he should wander about and what he should wonder about next; the Bosom, pouring down milk from huge iron pot on the Whispering Children, who bathed and laughed and sang in loud whispers composed of consonants only; the Victim, whose severed head dangled from a tiny thread of flesh, dancing as he jumped around, uselessly trying to prevent his feet from burning, and weeping solid salt that piled up beside a pool of bubbling lava; the Herald, with his large trumpet made of the flesh of human infants (just trust me on that one), speaking in a booming voice about calamities yet to come; the Tesseract, its impossible shapes coming in and out of sight as it spun in the fourth dimension. The sight of the Gods made Bob smile. It also made him realize that he couldn’t actually smile, as his face had long melted from the heat.

As a faceless yet oblivious Bob approached the Core of the Sunset, a face appeared before him and shouted a challenge.

“Who goes?” it asked angrily.

“Yes, Who goes,” said Bob’s mouth from the smear of goo on his lap.

“Thank you, I was uncertain,” the face replied and vanished to expose the Core of the Sunset.

This was actually the first time Bob had gotten this far into the Sunset. It was really dangerous to be there. He surely would have turned around before, but the sight of the Gods had distracted him.

The Core was… AGH JESUS CHRIST, MY EYES, THEY BURN. OH, GOD. GREG! GREG, BRING ME SOME WATER. SOME WATER HERE, PLEASE, GREG. I CAN’T SEE. OH, GOD, I CAN’T SEE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT, BOB. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME LOOK AT THAT? Ugh, thanks Greg. No, seriously, now, Bob, are you trying to kill me or what? Wait. Bob? Bob, where are you? The jeep isn’t there anymore. No, this is not possible. Bob, you little piece of… Wait. There’s no point-of-view character to narrate. I am trapped in the Sunset now. How am I supposed to get out? You just wait until I find you, Bob. This insolence shall not go unpunished.

Okay, okay, easy now. You’re going to have to think outside the box in this one. This is when everything you learned in Narration College needs to kick in. Goddammit, I should have paid more attention. Okay, think. Just think. Okay. There is no character to narrate. Leaving the Sunset arbitrarily would break the narrative. I can’t really control any of the other characters because of those stupid clauses in my contract. I knew I should have negotiated that bit. OH, I GOT IT. I got it. Passive voice.

The Sunset was exited, all of its wonders left behind. Now, to find that insolent asshole. The land was searched… uh… OH! The land was searched by policemen with dogs. Bob’s sudden disappearance had caused unrest among his friends and family, and pictures of Bob’s face had been put all over town. But the police were at a loss… because… ugh… Because Bob’s face doesn’t have features yet…

I see what you’re trying to do, you little shit. But I will not fall for that trick. You’re not as stupid as I thought. I MEAN YOU ARE, YOU ARE REALLY STUPID. Fuck. You are not stupid anymore now, huh? Well, congratulations, Bob. Hip, hip, hoo-fucking-ray to you. Aaaaand you got me to use the F-word twice. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PG-13, BOB. Now you ruined that as well. Or, well, you fucked it up. Might as well use this new ability. But I’m going to find you. And you’re not getting a definitive face yet. You’re gonna have to try harder than that. Now, check these killer skills out, bitch.

As the vague images of Bob did little to guide the police, Bob’s clothes were found and their scent was sniffed by highly trained super police dogs with a curious and uncommon enhanced ability to find people named Bob using only their scent.

Luckily for them, the city was mostly undescribed and its buildings unmentioned, so there were only a few places where Bob could be. This is going to be a piece of cake. So, finally, they arrived at the Barbarian Baritone Bar, they busted in, guns out, ready to fire, AND THEY FOUND B… asically nothing. Fucking hell. The house was empty too, because that’s where they picked the scent and he just wasn’t there. Clearly he wasn’t in the Sunset, so that leaves…

The explosion resonated throughout the streets, shattering nearby windows, as the entrance doors to Bob’s office came flying by, nearly killing an unsuspecting passer-by. Actually, you know what? The flying door bounced against a brick wall and crushed the passer-by to death before he could sigh in relief. Two employees were also killed in the detonation, which, by the way, was completely unnecessary because the door was not only unlocked but open. DO YOU HEAR THAT, BOB? CASUALTIES! PEOPLE ARE DYING, BOB, AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. Just come out and everything will be fine. If you don’t come out, shit’s gonna keep happening!

=)

The police rushed inside the building, smoke bombs flying into every cubicle. The dark cloud choked everyone. The coughing was so loud it could be heard from the next building. To a side, Fred, who had kindly taken Bob to work two chapters ago, was now coughing up blood, lungs probably exploded from exhaustion. Tom, luckily, managed to come out unharmed, as he was elsewhere at the time, and remained completely able to berate Bob further when he finally comes back. Betty… Wait, where is Betty? She was here a moment ago, I could have sworn. I saw her. The police searched for Betty but found no traces of her or of Bob. But they did find the emergency exit at the back open.

They have escaped. But, how? There is no place to go, I described no other place in the city.

I must have missed something, some… detail. I need some time to think.

Go away. This chapter is done.

[orrtala]

So here's a little fic I did for this month's Trending Twenty-Seventh. Turned out to be more Peepers-centric than I originally intended it to, but I still like it enough. Wish I had more time to write it though, it was supposed to be longer and I had few more ideas about how to progress with this. Might feel a little rushed, yeah.

Keep in mind English isn't my first language and I started writing this after watching "The Eye on the Skullship" and got only to "The Bad Hatter".

The Duke of Dread, the Monarch of Mayhem, the Emperor Evil, who have mangled the minds of millions, tempted forth, torrential tides of tears, reduced the richest of republics, to revel, and ruin Lord Hater…

Was currently busy thawing the Skullship out with a little hairdryer. Or rather was supposed to be busy doing that, but was making goo-goo eyes at the sky.

"She liked my car…" the skeleton man sighed dreamily, losing a track of what he was doing and pointing the hairdryer at the ground.

Peepers in response pointed his finger at the frozen Skullship. "I don't care! Get back to work!"

The whole army of watchdogs, free of blame for once, was standing behind his Commander. Or, well, most of them was standing. Some of them were sitting down and playing cards or other games. Andy tried to get some material for his silly show, but after taking one look at mad Peepers he decided to stick asking only watchdogs questions, far away from his superiors as possible.

"Pfffft, you'll never understand girls!" Hater complained, as he pointed his little device at his ship again. "They dig awesome cars, of course my plan had to work! Though, I guess, she kind of liked the frosty- freeze- flavour- whatever, she knew what that was, so maybe you're not entirely hopeless and terrible with your advice for presents, I suppose. I still think flowers would be much better though."

The Commander scowled. "Or maybe next time you could try to not ruin everything?!"

He sighed, rubbing his eyeface. Not for the first time it occurred to him that not that long time ago he wouldn't even consider raising voice at his boss. But as of now Hater wasn't that quick to use his powers on members of his army, which was good, but that also meant he has grown soft and wasn't number one in the galaxy, which was very, very bad. Still, before the battle for the Ring of Invicibility they reached a second place despite Hater's efforts and thanks to Peepers' careful planning and they both found a common ground to reluctantly work on. He did miss the days when Hater, in spite of his child nature used to be a competent enough leader, but at the same time he did enjoy having more control than ever, not to mention the… bond he had with skeleton man. Sort of.

But then Dominator showed her face thanks to the poorly prepared plan of that… annoying orange fur ball and Hater seemed to focus on one thing and one thing only – to impress his new crush by giving her presents and whatnot. Ugh, if only he followed the plan, Dominator would be literally frozen in shock thanks to his superweapon!

…Wait a minute.

The smallest watchdog narrowed his eye, interested in spite of himself.

"She knew that was Frostonium?" That was… surprising. This isotope was extremely rare, how did she hear abut it?

"Yeah, that! She was all like…" Hater stopped working (again), put one hand on his hip, waggled the other before his puffed up ribcage and said in falsetto: "Oh, such a powerful frostonium weapon!" He stood for a second or two, smiling to himself, until he realized what he was saying. He turned to Peepers and waved his hands wildly. "But, obviously, she liked H.A.T.E.R.V. much, much better! She really digged the pizza function!"

Tiny Commander still felt the burn of molten cheese left in his eyeface. "I've noticed. Now…" He jerked his thumb toward the frozen ship.

"Ugh, it's boooooring and I'm exhaaaaaausted" Hater whined.

"NOW!"

It was painfully obvious that they didn't have any chances with Dominator – Peepers in defeating and Hater in his advances towards her. And both of them refused to give up on their objective to join forces. Watchdogs were constantly a spectators of their arguments; usually they started with Hater saying something about his illusions concerning his crush, Peepers screaming at him, and ended with skeleton man ignoring him and doing his thing (which, sadly for watchdogs, was usually using the t-shirt cannon) while Commander kept yelling at his boss.

Despite the lack of help Peepers didn't stop in his attempts to defeat the villainess whenever he found out she was conquering yet another planet. Or, well, destroying it while refuelling her ship (just how much lava she actually needed? Why didn't she properly conquer anything yet? What was her exact plan? Besides making Peepers' life much harder and miserable, that is.)

He did try to keep Hater out of these battles, usually to no avail. Skeleton man barged in to meet 'his' lady trying to impress her, doing more damage to their troops than the enemy. So when Peepers and watchdogs tried to get to Dominator using the underwater route, Hater had an ingenious idea of showing of his powers in 'the coolest way possible' and got everyone electrocuted. When Commander decided to sneak with the frostonium ray, the skeleton man wanted his army to make a statue of himself to show off ("Peepers get here and tell them what to do, they're useless!") To be fair they failed whenever Hater was involved or not, but it was much, much more frustrating when he was involved. And ended up with more casualties.

All this while Dominator didn't receive even a scratch. Always in her armour and helmet (aside from that one time when she took H.A.T.E.R.V.), hiding her face. Peepers had no idea what she was thinking about. Not that he particularly cared.

Peepers decided to use a sneak method, this time using two frostonium rays. Well, one fake ray and the real deal. Few watchdogs were to approach Dominator with the first one while he and two underlings were going to sneak and freeze her. But, the skeleton man, as usual, had to ruin everything. Commander wasn't sure how he ended up alone with his superweapon, while Hater and watchdogs were running around in disarray. Dominator didn't even join a fight, sending in her bots this time. Instead she was standing near her ship hidden from the sight of the combatants (if they could even be called that) apparently busy with some kind of console.

Despite the setbacks he was there, with the frostonium ray, and with her back turned to him. He was trying to breathe as quietly as possible, though it wasn't easy; his weapon was rather heavy and he had to carry it all by himself for most of the way. He placed it perfectly, now the only thing left was to set it off and…

"You never give up on your silly frostonium plan, do you?" The metallic voice reached his eardrums.

He quickly reached for the trigger, but Dominator was faster. Lava hand engulfed his little body and kept him in place.

The villainess kept working on her console with one hand, seemingly forgetting about her captive. Peepers was silent, looking around, not being able to do anything else, really.

"I mean you should give up on your plan to defeat me altogether" she spoke unexpectedly in her false voice. Commander startled, looked at her. She was still staring at her console. "But you just keep coming and coming, do you actually want me to completely destroy your army?"

She finally turned her head towards him. Not that he could see much, she was still wearing a helmet. After a beat of silence she spoke again:

"What, you're not talking all of sudden? Why, you're always the loudest one! 'Watchdogs do that! No, watchdogs, wrong way! Hater, sir, what are you doing, aaaaaaah!'"

Commander blinked., wondering if she knew how weird that sounded with the metallic, male voice. Probably yes.

"Somebody has to do it" was the response he settled on. Not his best choice, but it was probably better to speak up instead of staying silent. He was still looking around for anything that could help him, though he knew it was hopeless.

"Really?" Despite the helmet obscuring her face he could feel her unimpressed stare. "Oh, wow. Because, like, you proved to be sooooooo challenging." She waved both of her hands, not minding, that Peepers was still a captive in one of them. "Please, only your idiot boss can fight, and even he can barely keep up with me."

Commander narrowed his eye, not happy with her opinion of Hater.

"I'm not even getting anything out of this!" She sighed dramatically and pushed the button, causing a nearby explosion and sending a lot of watchdogs into the air. Peepers' eye shifted nervously.

"Like, that was the closest you've ever gotten and even then you failed spectacularly." Dominator jerked her thumb toward the frostonium ray. "I am severely disappointed in you, Shorty."

Commander blinked, trying not to focus on the nickname and rather on what she said earlier.

"We're not here for your entertainment!" He wiggled in vain.

"Um… yes you are." Was her short response. "I am the biggest threat you'll ever face, and that's how you do it? Is that all you've got? The idiot lovesick pile of bones and bunch of eyeballs cretins?" She poked her pointy finger into his eye, causing him to tear up a little bit.

"Still…" she relented. "At least you do try. I expected a little better from the guy who tore up my main console and stopped the bot production for a little while."

"I did cause trouble, didn't I." Blame him, he did feel a little proud of himself, but he probably shouldn’t have spoken out loud. Dominator didn't seem to mind though.

"Eh." She shrugged. "Not really. Though bots were driving me crazy, they took whole three days to clean up this mess. Besides." She waved her free hand towards the – from lack of the better term – battlefield, where watchdogs were wither lying down or escaping from the bots. Most of Dom's minions were slowly getting back to the ship though. "Does it look like trouble for me?"

Peepers decided to keep staring at her helmet, refusing to look at his defeated army.

"You're fighting because you're bored."

"I'm fighting, because it's fun. But your performance is lacking, yes, our little appointments are getting tedious. You want me to move onto the other villain, perhaps?…"

Commander blinked.

"Then again, as I said already, no one else is willing to face me." She shrugged. "Yeah, I did expect more fun from this new galaxy, and everyone here are weak or cowardly, almost always both. But you keep trying and trying, despite your incompetence."

The head watchdog scowled.

"What do you want?"

"That you either leave me alone to my own devices or step your game up."

Dominator brought Peepers near her head and let the front of her helmet slid off. Commander for the very first time took a good, but short look of her face.

"Keep doing what you're doing I promise I will destroy you last. In the worst, slowest way possible."

And with that she threw him back to the rest of the watchdogs.

After dealing with his injuries in the med-bay and another of Hater's long list of complaints, Peepers settled in his room.

That was… unexpected, to say the least. And weird. When he decided to start this job he didn't expect anything like a crazy lady villain with lava powers asking him for a challenge. But he also didn't expect an orange furry weirdo who constantly keeps distracting his boss. Still, he found a way around that… somewhat.

What could he do in that situation? He already thought of the best plans he had, not to mention she took frostonium ray, again, (though at least this time he didn't get frozen. Or hit by pizza in his face.) So he certainly didn't fail for the lack of trying, it was either Hater's or watchdogs' fault.

He wasn't going to give up, oh, no. "You can't run if you wanna be number one" after all.

…Wait, what did he tell her again? "If you march in to my galaxy, you're gonna have to deal with me!" So… is that what she thought? That he made a promise? Or she actually didn't care about it, but only wanted to be entertained?

He rubbed his eyeface. He had to try do something better. Make watchdogs train harder. Think of something to do with Hater. And let her think he's going to play this 'game'.

Peepers spent all night mapping out possible plans of beating Dominator up.

[oldscarredlove]

Grayscale Origins

This is an old story so please understand if grammar ain’t that good or if things sound weird.

Ink = @comyet Error = @loverofpiggies (won’t lemme tag) PaperJam = @7goodangel

Believe it or not, this is actually a quick fan-fiction, I believe this took me perhaps a little less than an hour? I really wanted to tell you all the origins of GrayScale and this is all I could come up with for now since I’m SO tired. It’s 11:50 pm here so please understand that if this sounds rushed or crappy, it’s because I’m not thinking straight. ANYWAY! Please enjoy the story of GrayScale’s birth! — The void was utterly silent and empty, completely white and endless. It was like a dream, you had no clue where you were or how you got there but it was also like a nightmare, in a place where you had no clue what was going on and were utterly alone. A black void of glitches suddenly opened up and stepped out came three skeletons.

One was black with red and yellow features, blue tear marks going down his cheekbones. He wore a black and blue hoodie and shorts with red slippers, the word ERROR appearing everywhere on him.

The second was white with a ink splatter on his right cheek, his left eye socket the shape of a star and the right being a blue oval. He had a giant paintbrush strapped to his back and a blue hoodie tied around his waist.

The third was rather odd, he seemed to have the structure of a skeleton but looked like they were made of goo. Or perhaps ink. He wore a hoodie similar to the first skele and a scarf like the second except it was stained with magenta, cyan and yellow.

“Why did you stop me Ink? They’re all just filthy glitches in the multiverse. They shouldn’t even exist!”

“Because they all have friends and family. You shouldn’t be the one to decide when they should die Error!”

Ink and Error started to argue over something, then red bones started to come out from the floor and paint was flung around. The skelinkton seemed to have expected his as he glided away to a safe distance almost lazily, sighing in annoyance at the sound of battle.

“Can they just shut up or fight somewhere else…?” He asked himself, rubbing his fingers between his eye-sockets. During the battle, Error managed to snatch Ink’s brush and use it against him, Ink avoided the blow and Error scowled in annoyance. He swiped the brush again in hopes of using his signature weapon against him but something happened.

Some of the ink on the brush collided with one of Error’s glitches and fell to the ground, having little bolts come off and making a wet electrocuted noise. The drew the attention of all three skeletons and completely forgot the fight. The black ink slowly bleached out to white and become silent.

Ink and the skelinkton watched the pile of light-grey ink with curiosity and wariness whilst Error crouched down and reached out to it. It suddenly recoiled from his touch and slithered away quickly, moving as quickly as a snake. Ink got out one of his smaller brushes and painted a net, one without holes, which became real, taking the newly made net and tried to catch it.

It made its way over to the skelinkton and he took a step back. “PaperJam! Use this! Quickly!” Ink threw the net over to PaperJam and he caught it swiftly and immediately swooped up the white goo. “Well done PJ!”

PJ held up the net and tried to peeked inside the net, just to see what the heck it was. Then a small head popped out of the net’s rim. Their head was like PaperJam’s a skull with ink floating off of their head and then back like a lava-lamp. Their left eye had two tear-drop marks below it and their white pupil had a star in the centre, their right eye however looked ruined.

“What is that thing?” Proclaimed Error in horror.

Ink’s eyes lit up and he sailed over, looking at the white inkling. “They’re so cute!” He turned to Error, smiling with happiness but also with a cheekiness. “We should keep them!”

PaperJam looked back at the inkling who was staring at them, almost like they were waiting for something. PJ was slowly getting uncomfortable about their one-eye stare and muttered. “What is it? Something wrong?”

As soon as he spoke, the inkling smiled brightly and giggled, Ink squealing happily whilst Error looked dreadful. They formed a hand and reached out to PaperJam’s face, who grabbed theirs in return, unsure of what to do. They smiled even wider and said: “Big Brother!”

[rallis-fatalis]

Five Days of Fatherhood-Pt.2

Part 2 of Adam’s babysitting adventure!

By the time Adam woke up it was an actual reasonable time to get up and not the wee hours of the morning where even the sun was still trying to sleep. He stretched and groaned and changed and wandered downstairs. It was bright and sunny out now, the world filled with shrieks of monsters in the distance Adam could only begin to imagine. The shadows played on the ground in the garden, signaling something landing and walking around in the plant woven roof above, something he felt he didn't really want to look up at.

'How is Rallis not on edge all the time?' he thought as he wandered into the kitchen for breakfast of his own. 'What with random monsters flying into her home.' He looked around for something to eat, but outside of lots and lots of fruit there wasn't much. Maybe some bread and cheese but mostly just fruit. He shrugged and snagged an orange and made a sandwich, but before he was about to put it on a plate he stopped. 'Wait, doesn't that torcher wander through the cabinets?' he thought worriedly, remembering when she pulled the serpent out of the bowl and it wandered into a pot. A shiver ran up his spine at the thought. "Maybe we don't need a plate," he said before putting it back and taking the food outside. He sat on an old carved teak bench placed dejectedly off to the side and simply watched as he ate. He'd say he enjoyed the quiet but the screeching in the far off distance and quorking and chirping up above disputed that.

He'd been placing the orange peel on the ground by his foot, waiting until he was done to throw it away somewhere, but it appeared to have grabbed the attention of someone. Adam felt a nudge by his foot and found Nago crawling out from under the bench to get at the peels. He pet the boar behind its ears as it ate happily.

"Hey buddy. Enjoying yourself?"

The herbiboar grunted as it chomped away. It looked to Adam for more when it was done. "Here you go," he said as he handed the rest of the peel over. Nago squealed with delight over the treat. 'The thing is actually kind of cute,' he thought as he continued to pet it. 'Guess I can see why she likes hanging around Fossil Island so much with them.'

Nago headbutted his foot in thanks and wandered back under the bench to disappear. Adam looked under the bench to find a hole surrounded by dirt and chuckled. 'Came out just for the food, huh?' Suddenly from behind him, there was a loud screech. Adam spun around to find Twist wandering around, head low to the ground as if searching for something and screeching as he went.

"Hey there, cockatrice," Adam called. "What are you doing?"

The bird turned to the source of the noise and stepped forward only to trip on something growing out of the ground, squawking as he fell. Adam ran over and helped the poor thing up. He waved a hand in front of its face and it hardly responded. "Jeez, you really can't see, can you?"

The cockatrice gave a sad coo. Adam thought to himself for a moment. "You know, I bet glasses would do you some good." Twist cocked his head as if to ask what those were. "They help people see. Come here, let me see something." He guided the bird to Rallis' workshop. There was quite an impressive array of things being worked on in the room. There was a nearly finished table in one corner with a tag on the side that said "for Grimro," an elaborate to-scale grid of the layout of a dragon's wings with pieces of leather placed atop marked spaces, and a set of armour still in the process of being made that looked like nothing he had ever seen. Adam fished around for measuring tools and sat the cockatrice down, getting the numbers he needed. "Alright birdy," he said while scribbling the measurements down. "We're gonna try something."

With a spool of bronze wire he found, Adam made a rough outline of a pair of glasses. The frame fit Twist alright but they'd need something to keep them on when he moved around. That could come later, though. First he had to figure out how lenses worked. Skorch had wandered in now, curiously watching the man as he worked and thought at the workbench. "What do you want, torcher?" he questioned, not liking how it was looking at him. It continued to watch, interested. Adam leaned back, fiddling with the frames in his hand. 'What next?' he thought. 'How do you make glasses? It's not just a disc of glass, is it?'

"Guess I'll try just a circle of glass first." He shot his unwanted guest a nervous glance  before getting its attention. "Hey, torcher, do you know where Rallis keeps glass to make stuff with?" Skorch squeaked and zipped out to the garden, hovering by the hole into the dragon lair. He led Adam down the hole, but instead of going toward the red dragons and the cliff side hole, they went in the opposite direction, deeper into the earth. The path was much darker this way, and much hotter. Adam soon found himself sweating. "It's like a volcano in here," he complained. "Where are you taking me?"

Skorch chirped as he zoomed on ahead. There was an orange glow in the distance where Skorch had flown off to. It was sweltering now and he soon saw why. There was a small forge down here, a metallic dragon's mouth holding pools of lava, molten glass, and other molten liquids he couldn't immediately identify. In the corner of the room was an anvil and hanging on the wall behind it were a whole assortment of tools, including a glassblowing pipe. "Oh wow, this place just gets more and more elaborate, doesn't it?" Skorch smiled, proud of himself, as he floated nearby. "Um... thanks... torcher," he muttered to Skorch. He chirped happily and flew off. Adam breathed a sigh of relief, glad to not have the thing watching him work anymore, and took the pipe down and took it to the pool of glass. "Let's try this then!"

Day quickly turned to night, though not that Adam could tell being underground, and the forge room was covered in shards of glass. Warped shapes and shards were scattered about the floor, with only a few successful discs neatly stacked on the anvil. A loud pop exploded through the room as another unsuccessful attempt at making a glass disc blew up in his face. Adam all but roared angrily and kicked the forge in frustration. "Screw it! I'm done!" He slammed the glassblowing pipe back into its place and grabbed the six successful discs he made. He looked back at the mess he made and winced. He didn't think the floor was supposed to shimmer like that. 'I'll clean it up later,' he thought with a sigh and marched on.

Adam was shocked to see how late it was when he stepped outside into the garden. "Supposed to watch the dragons and instead I spend all day playing with glass." Luckily everyone seemed to be present. Twist was calling up to some odd looking wyvern in one of the roof nests and having a grand old conversation of screams and howls while Skorch splayed himself on Nago's back as the herbiboar carried the torcher around the house like a tourist enjoying the sights. Adam would have called Twist over to test out the lenses, but the bird seemed too engrossed in its own conversation. He decided to leave the lenses in the workshop and figure them out later. While there, he nabbed a broom and pan and shuffled back down to the forge to clean up the mess. He turned the corner and found a red dragon sitting and staring at the sparkling floor.

"Whoa whoa whoa wait don't go in there!" Adam rushed worriedly. "That's glass! You could get hurt!"

The dragon turned its head and slowly blinked, giving him a look one might give an annoying insect. 'Black rings under the eyes...' He took a step forward. "Don't go in there, Caroline. I need to clean it up." The dragon huffed and moved out of the way, letting him through. Adam got to work sweeping up the bits into a neat pile, dragon watching all the while.

The room was soon clean, everything back to the way it was before. Adam wiped the sweat off his forehead from the work. "It is ridiculously hot down here," he complained. He looked down at the pile of glass shards sitting on the pan he'd swept up. "Where to put these?"

Caroline walked forward and placed a paw on the now nearly empty bin of molten glass in the forge. "Put it back?" Adam asked. The dragon grumbled. "If you say so." Adam dumped the bits into the bin, creating a stew of glass shards and molten goo. Caroline pushed him aside and stood up against the forge and let loose fire into the bin. Adam leapt back with a 'whoa!' as she melted down the bits. She spat out the last bits of flames and the bin was full of molten glass again. "Huh. Efficient." Caroline snorted and left the room. "Thank you!" he called after her. She growled something back.

The rest of the night resumed as the previous did. Garold brought his latest treasure inside (this time a massive clump of stinking moss with a toad perched on top) and was told to put it back, Adam continued the bedtime story from before, and the screeching cockatrice was put to bed. It was dark and late now but Adam wasn't remotely tired. He wanted to continue working on the glasses and hope to figure out how they worked. "She's got a library. Maybe there's something there."

The library took up two of the larger rooms of the house and were connected by a spiral staircase. It appeared that the upper floor was off limits as a piece of heavy wood was locked in place to keep anyone from entering from the first floor. Presumably it could be accessed from one of the locked rooms up above. Adam began his search for a book that could help. Glass work, glass crafting, any kind of guide would help. Most of the books were on some aspect of biology, whether plant or animal or otherwise, history (some of which certainly piqued Adam's curiosity), and surprisingly languages. There didn't seem to be a dedicated shelf for crafting books like there were for the other subjects, but he did manage to find a couple shoved away on a bottom shelf. They were thoroughly worn, pages dog eared and written in. He flipped through them, skimming for something that could help, and sure enough he found a section on the properties of glass in one of them.

"Perfect! Now what's it say here."

He studied the book most of the night, taking it back to the room and reading it in bed. He didn't understand it terribly well, from what he could gather the way the glass curved affected how light came through and how that can affect different things, but it was more information than he had before. 'Guess there's a way to curve it to fix eyesight,' he thought. 'Suppose it's trial and error later.'

Skorch slyly slunk over the bed covers and onto the man, who was completely oblivious with his nose buried in the book. The torcher slid over and poked his head around the book, curious about its contents and coming nose to nose with the man. "FUCKING HELL," Adam shouted with fear as he all but threw the book out of his hands and shot out of bed. Skorch yelped as he was thrown off the man and onto the covers with a flop. The torcher looked up at the startled man, confused. Adam shakily walked over to grab the book he tossed and pointed it at the torcher accusatorially.

"You can't just... do that!" he snapped, referring to its crawling on him. Skorch simply tilted his head in confusion, unsure of what he did wrong. Adam sighed and put the book down on a nearby stand. He glanced at the serpent who was watching his every movement.

'Probably so it can learn my patterns and attack!' he thought with paranoia. But really, Skorch was just curious. The serpent squeaked up at him and slithered closer, holding its wings up as if asking to be held. 'What the hell? Why is it acting like some cute puppy?' He caught himself. 'CUTE?! That thing can literally destroy the world. It is NOT cute!'

Skorch whined as the man didn't oblige. Adam sighed. "No, just go sleep or something." He reluctantly crawled back into bed and pushed the torcher away onto its own pillow like before. It sadly sniffled and whined in protest until it was able to scooch a little closer and curl up for sleep. Adam kept a watchful eye on the beast next to him. 'It doesn't matter if it tries being cute, it's just putting on a show. It's lulling you into a false sense of security so it can strike! That's it!' His eyes started to droop shut. 'Don't look away from it. You never know what it'll do otherwise. It might attack! Or escape! Or... something. It'll make you sick... everyone sick... It's... poison...'

And he fell asleep.