#but he was a great shrek too!!

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

he bites

[thatlesbiancrow]

JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE MARIO MOVIE AND HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY LOVED IT

[notjuststardust]

One Piece Monster Trio: Calling them husband when you're only dating

A random drabble I thought of after seeing a tik tok of this random girl calling her boyfriend husband. Enjoy the firstfruits of my madness >:)

Monkey D. Luffy

-You say it in passing to some random guy while apologizing for Luffy causing a scene and Luffy doesn't even realize.

-You're just like, "Sorry, my husband is a little excited," and now he's just trying to figure when the wedding was and if he missed your anniversary or not.

-Man is gaslit so hard he forgets that you aren't even married and somehow all the townspeople are suddenly referring to you as "the straw hats wife"

-After all, just like he will be the Pirate King you will be his wife.

-Only gets brought up when some lady asks to see your ring and Luffy starts freaking out when you say you don't have it.

-"Did you lose it during the fight?!"

-Man is actually sweating until you assure him you didn't because YOU NEVER EVEN HAD ONE.

-"Well, do ya want one?" After some blushing and nodding he tears off the drawstring to his hat and ties that around your left ring finger as a placeholder.

-You better start introducing yourself as the Queen of the Pirates.

Roronoa Zoro

-Sanji was making some comment under his breath about why a goddess like you chose to be with human shrek and before Zoro could even rerack the barbell to argue you were already defending him, "Don't talk about my husband that way you overcooked spaghetti haired-"

-Zoro is so shocked by the word 'husband' leaving your mouth he doesn't even recognize that the sass you'd exuded was borrowed from his own insults to the cook. The barbell just drops clean onto his chest and hes fighting for dear life to get it off.

-You've never lifted a weight in your LIFE so Sanji has to help you save him.

-Right after Sanji's yelling, Zoro is so quiet. He's just staring at you like you've got 3 heads.

-"Great, you broke him!" You yell when Sanji sees the dumb awe on Zoro's face.

-"You did that yourself, my dear. Look at the dumb look on your husbands face-" Now you're blushing and stammering because you realized what you'd said thinking you'd offended the swordsman.

-"Not my husband-"

-"Yet." Theres the tiniest smile on Zoro's face when he says it.

-HES LOOKING DEAD AT YOU TOO WHICH IS MAKING SANJI AUDIBLY GAG.

-"If you don't die from a barbell first."

Blackleg Sanji

-He calls you wife all the time but he never expects you to try to get him back for it.

-He's literally in the middle of serving dinner when one day you just drop, "Yeah, my hubby's the best cook!" After some rando Luffy had invited on the ship starts glowing about the taste.

-He hits the deck.

-Literally.

-But also the edge of the table on the way down.

-Chopper actually thinks hes had a heart attack because this man went TACHYCARDIC.

-Wakes up with a concussion and the ability to speak fluent french.

-You know he wakes up and starts mumbling nonsense like, "mon cher je suis honoré d’être votre seul et unique!" (My dear, i'm honored to be your one and only).

-I haven't taken french in years so please correct me if you're fluent.

[asgardiansofthegalaxyvol3]

I was a fool. An absolute bafoon. Deadpool and Wolverine 2: the musical starts with a montage of their daily life to the soundtrack of Accidentally in Love (from shrek) to WADE falling in love with Logan, not the other way around, because honestly who better than Deadpool? He can girlishly kick his feet and smile sweetly to the camera and (badly) play it off when Logan is actually looking at him. And it’s just them being domestic. Logan cooking, Wade sneaking glances throughout the day, can even have them fighting something together. And of course it ends with them platonically sharing a bed and you can see Wade wanting to reach out to Logan but he doesn’t, just goes to sleep instead.

And one way or another they’re fighting some big bad magical being, and honestly Marvel it doesn’t really matter who you pick. All they need is to be able to use magic and get pissed that 1-Wade can’t die and 2- he never shuts the HELL up. And bam, instant curse. The entire world is a musical and Deadpool has to suffer the consequences (being annoyed by the constant noise of everyone singing)

Except he LOVES it. He walks down the street and hears someone singing about cheating on their spouse, someone singing about how they miss their dog at home, and someone getting increasingly angry about traffic through the open window of their car. And the icing on the cake is that his roommate, THE Hugh Jackman is cursed too. Since y’all wanna make him be the Wolverine until he’s 90 you can at least throw him a bone and let him sing again, it’s what he was made to do. And since Ryan can’t/wont/doesn’t like to sing it gives him the opportunity not to, plus it has comedic effect if he’s bland and boring, making comments through everyone’s songs. Social commentary on people’s rhymes/pitch/beats. The potential is limitless. They should also have multiple people who are just genuinely bad singers, because that’s just how the real world works.

And by the third act Wade has had enough of the singing. “Can everyone shut the fuck up for five minutes PLEASE. Not you, Logan, you have the voice of an angel, please keep going.”

And since Disney owns them now they can have a scene of Logan singing ‘i won’t say I’m in Love’ from Hercules with Ellie, Yukio, and Blind Al as the muses because surprise surprise the main story is Wade trying to undo this Musical curse but the subplot is Wade and Logan both being in love with each other but both being too emotionally constipated and unaware to make a move on each other. And you know what, if the power of hand holding and gay love could save the day last time, maybe it can do it again this time. I’m thinking something cheesy like an off key duet between Wade and Logan that ends in a kiss, but I’ve never been great at endings so I’ll leave it up to Ryan.

And bam @vancityreynolds I’ve got the outline of your new movie right here. I’ll accept payment in the form of one meet and greet with you and Hugh where I can take a picture of you guys holding my Toddler so I can frame it, hang it on the wall, and ask her for the rest of her life how she could possibly not remember something that happened when she was under 2 years old.

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 37. go piss girl

YOUR HEART WAS POUNDING WHEN YOU HEARD THE LIGHT KNOCK ON YOUR CABIN DOOR.

It wasn't that you were nervous—okay, maybe you were a little nervous—but it felt as if butterflies had swarmed your stomach with their fluttering wings. Now, the space really did feel small. You weren't sure how Jay was going to fit in the same seat as yours, but the idea was strangely exciting.

"Hey," you whispered when you pulled open the door for him. You scooted to the wall so that you could make some more space for him. "I just pulled up the movie."

"Oh, we're actually watching Shrek," Jay deadpanned. When he took his seat and closed the door again, you both became hyper-aware of the proximity once your arms were pressed against each other. "Kinda cramped in here."

"It should be fine," you said quickly, trying to mask how flustered you were by gesturing toward the screen. "Look, they have all three movies!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not staying around for three whole movies."

You shot him a dark look, feigning great offense as you folded your arms across your chest. Jay seemed to not realize the weight of his words until after seeing your reaction, and he immediately flooded with panic.

"Wait, I meant, like—not that, just—"

"Relax, I'm just messing with you." You giggled, diverting your attention away to start the movie. "Have you ever watched Shrek before? I used to watch it every single day when I was a kid, apparently."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my mom was mortified when I wanted to"—you turned back to look at him and your breath caught in your throat for a moment; Jay was looking down at you with those sincere eyes that were far too easy to get lost in—"dress up as Shrek for Halloween."

"Shrek, huh? Did you ever get to dress up as him?"

"No, I ended up being Fiona. All of my friends back then were dressing up like princesses, and my mom wanted to dress me up."

"Ouch. Well, you can be Shrek this year."

"You'd have to be my Princess Fiona then."

"Whatever you want."

His eyes went a touch unfocused, and you started to get the feeling that he didn't exactly care about Shrek costumes anymore. You weren't even completely sure he was talking about them.

You only started realizing it recently, but why did he always look at you like that?

Like he wanted to kiss you.

You couldn't pinpoint it before because you weren't really looking. It was hard to catch most of the time because he was so well-guarded, but in fractions of seconds, you could catch him looking into your eyes as if they held the world, as if he would fall apart if he tore his gaze away.

So, hypothetically, if you made a move on him, it wouldn't be a completely miscalculated step, right? It was obvious something was going on between you two, and there were clear signs, right? You weren't clinically insane?

Your mind was swimming with questions when you realized that almost half of the movie had gone by, and you were zoning out for its entirety. Reality only sharpened when you realized Jay had leaned back to put his arm around your shoulders. Unfortunately, now you couldn't care less about Shrek and Donkey; you could only think about how warm Jay's body was and how hot your chest felt.

Your chest must have been rising and falling too fast because Jay asked, "Are you good? Am I taking up too much room?"

"No! You're good, it's just a little tight in here—yeah, that's all," you replied absentmindedly.

"Oh, well..." He looked around helplessly. (There wasn't much to look at, anyway.) "Wanna sit on my lap?"

Your heart jumped, leaped, imploded—whatever. So much adrenaline was pumping through your blood that you hardly even processed whether you replied to him or not. All you knew was that you were climbing onto Jay's lap before he could even get adjusted.

"Whoa," he murmured, holding onto your hips to keep you steady (but all he managed to do was ignite a fire inside you). "I thought you said no."

"Did I? Sorry, I mix up yes and no sometimes." What the hell? No, you don't, your brain reminded immediately after.

He grinned. "Oh, yeah, common mistake."

You were too busy staring straight ahead and trying to ignore how badly you wanted to crumble into his arms that you nearly jumped when you heard Jay's soft chuckle against your back.

His hands slid up to your waist, and he murmured into your ear, "I'm gonna move you to sit between my legs—hold on."

(Normally, this would make you horny, but Lord Farquaad and Gingy were getting into their exchange of The Muffin Man nursery rhyme that never failed to make you laugh.)

"This good?" Jay asked once you two were settled. You were leaning back against his chest as you laid between his legs. Jay had his hands on his thighs, but you swore they were inching closer to you.

"Really good."

"Yeah?"

His pointer finger grazed your skin ever-so-slightly, and you fought the urge to press your thighs together. After all, you didn't want him to think his hands weren't welcome. As you two fell into complete silence, watching the movie but not really watching it, you found that Jay's hand was getting closer and closer until four of his fingers were on your thigh.

He used this time to ask (in a much lower voice now), "How about this?"

"Yeah," you breathed out, your voice hitching in an almost humiliating way, and you could feel Jay's chest swell as his hand moved fully onto your thigh. "I like that."

The movie was nearing its end by now, and you were both still silently watching, Jay's hand hardly moving from your thigh. There were a few times where he moved it down, only to bring it back up again, but you were careful not to react in a way that would make things awkward.

But when you realized that he was probably going to leave, you figured this was your chance to make him stay, to see if things could progress. Wasn't this the perfect time, anyway? With everyone asleep and a cabin to yourself, this was probably the most privacy you would get for the weekend.

You turned your head just enough to look up at him, and those butterflies swarmed around in a torrent when his gaze dropped to your lips for a brief second. You straightened up a little to place your hand on his shoulder, angling your body a little to face him.

"Um," you started in a small voice, "do you wanna stay a little longer?"

Jay's hand moved up to grip your inner thigh with just enough pressure to keep you at a comfortable angle, and, again, you fought down the gasp. "With you?"

You smiled. "Yeah."

The space between you two was getting smaller and smaller. It was as if some magnetic pull was drawing your bodies closer and closer... and your lips were inches apart... and then Jay jerked away, as if he had snapped out of some trance.

"I can't, sorry," he said quickly, removing his hand from your thigh to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "It—it's getting late, and I should really get some sleep before we land."

Disappointed, you started moving so that he could have an easier time getting out of your cabin. You were half-expecting things to end up like this; moving fast with him wasn't going to work, but at least you knew now that he definitely felt some way about you.

"Goodnight," you told him, managing a smile. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"Yeah, it was fun."

He gave you that look again before closing your cabin door. You felt yourself deflate a little. It was an odd feeling, but you felt lonely when he was gone. You never really felt this way about Sunghoon since you got used to the loneliness, but Jay, who made an effort even as your friend, made you feel different.

Suddenly, your cabin door flew open again, and Jay was standing with regret painted all over his face.

"Look, I didn't mean to do all that and just back off," he said in a rush, sitting at the edge of your seat so that he could mutter everything to you in a low voice. "I just... it's hard right now, like, right now, as in—"

"Stop," you said, smiling ear-to-ear as your chest flooded with relief. Yeah, maybe you just needed to move a little slower. "I get it, don't worry."

"It's not that I don't..." he trailed off, gazing at you with deep longing etched in his eyes before he sighed. "Just... doing this right now is—"

"Jay, please," you tried again, reaching out to grab his hand. You tilted your head. "You can just make it up to me later. We can grab dinner in Monte Carlo?"

He seemed to be much less distressed now, merely sighing with contentment and nodding over and over again. "Yeah, let's do that."

"Goodnight, Jay," you sang with a teasing lilt to your voice.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

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SUMMARY �� private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

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[thehmn]

Watched Puss in Boots 2 last night and goddamn what a great children’s movie. I still have the into song stuck in my head.

I gave Perrito a hint of facial hair because I don’t read him as a child like some people do. He calls Puss and Kitty friends a lot and they treat him too much like a naive but equal person for me to think child. More like Donkey to Shrek.

Also, as a chihuahua owner I’m very impressed that they didn’t take the lazy way out by just studying how dogs move but very specifically how chihuahuas move. It’s difficult to explain but the way he moves his legs, curls his spine and repeatedly tugs and untugs his tail for balance is spot on.

Also, they recognized that both cats and chihuahuas do the head bump of love and used it to great effect.

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

GET WATERCOLORED, BITCH!!!!

I've been tweaking my design for our lovely Master Kohga. Some rambling under the cut: (and update on your requests)

First of all, I want to say that I tried watercoloring on top of a pencil drawing a few months ago and it was a DISASTER (it was a drawing of wolfie from shrek. I took a scan beforehand but oof it was bad), the pencil was smudging all over the place. This time I used spray fixative and I'm super happy with the results!! Coloring isn't my metier at all, and I think I'm more of a quantity over quality type person, so I don't like spending so much time on one drawing. But I used to watercolor when I was a young teen, and this was a fun throwback to those times.

Also, some changes to his design! I gave him a dr. robotnik ass looking moustache, because he is an evil yet silly viddy game man and he deserves one like all the greats. His beard is a little more believable looking now too. Also changed the number of earrings on one ear, because I dislike symmetry. I wanted him to have some moles, so he's got some in the shape of a Y now. Kind of a stretch but, ya know, I'm trying.

I WANT to give him some cool traditional looking tattoos, but I don't want them to cover large portions of his body. I'm gonna have to figure that one out later.

ALSO, THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE ME KOHGA REQUESTS!!!!

I'm so excited to start those, but commissions have been bogging me down like crazy. I really want to draw more of him, but I don't want to make it a job and feel obliged to draw them all immediately. I'll work on your requests little by little for fun when I have time. Some of them are making me chuckle, ngl.

Thanks for being so nice and sending me affirming messages too! I wasn't expecting people to resonate so much with how I'm drawing him, but I'm really happy for it. 💖

[gerec]

fairytale style AU? I'm feeling a bit cheesy

There are a lot of great fairy tale aus in this fandom, Anon; here are a few that I hope you enjoy!

The Changeling Prince by Regann

While seeking help to break a magical curse, a soldier named Erik finds himself trying to solve the mystery of a young prince's illness, a task that leads him deeper into the fickle world of the fae than he ever imagined. (Fairytale AU)

Tale As Old As Time by madneto

Charles is a bibliophile living with his stepbrother in a remote village. Erik is a lonely prince with an affliction he doesn't know how to control. Logan is the greatest hunter in the whole world.

Little Blue Riding Hood by Pangea

An extremely serious retelling of Little Red Riding Hood.

Gain Your Freedom by Synekdokee 

“Why are you so concerned,” the king asked, voice strained. “You are here against your will. You were gifted to me against your consent. When I die, you shall gain your freedom.”

The Most Powerful Thing in the World by velvetcadence

Charles has been cursed with a pig's nose, and only true love can break the spell.

The Little Polar Bear (East of the Sun and West of the Moon) by kageillusionz

In a Modern, Powered AU, Charles Xavier is a struggling post-graduate student who works part time as a waiter for a catering job. His father once owned the prestigious toy company called The Little Polar Bear, that is until he died in a factory fire and his mother remarried to the Markos who run it to the ground.

As fate will have it, Charles is working the night The Little Polar Bear undergoes a merger with Das Spielwarengeschäft mit der Maus, an overseas toy company that is run by the enigmatic Erik Lehnsherr who always keeps part of his face covered.

This is the story of them falling in love and facing a number of trials and tribulations to stay together. Based loosely from the Norwegian fairytale East of the Sun, West of the Moon and written for Round Two of X-Men Big Bang.

The Sleeping Beauty in the Ivory Tower (- or Erik Lehnsherr is a hopeless romantic) by ximeria

There is a tale, out among the stars, of a sleeping beauty in an ivory tower.

Maze by AuraWhiteFox

The last thing Erik expected to deal with was a child kidnapping King from another dimension. But that’s what happening. When one night became too much and Erik wished his children gone the Goblin King accepted his wish and stole them away.

Faced with a future without his children Erik makes a deal with the King, if he can solve the Maze and make it to the Goblin King’s castle in 12 hours he can have his children back.

If he doesn’t…his children will remain in the Goblin’s hands…as too will Erik.

The Sleeping Prince by Gerec 

Erik grew up on tales of the Sleeping Prince, the beautiful boy who slumbers in his castle, waiting for true love's kiss. His stepbrother Sebastian pushes him to go searching for Charles, hoping to wake him and claim a just reward. But when they find the Prince still asleep in his Tower, a simple kiss isn't enough to break the spell...

...so Sebastian suggests they try a little something more.

(A dark, Sleeping Beauty AU).

Erik by jackpack

The Shrek AU nobody asked for. Erik is a mutant living deep in the woods of Genosha, whose land is suddenly invaded by other displaced mutants. Angry, he approaches Lord Stryker, who says that he will only give Erik his land back if he brings him Prince Charles Xavier, the fairest royal in the land and the heir to the Genoshian throne, who has been kept in a tower since his childhood and hidden from the world.

Burn as Blue by ang3lsh1

When the King liberates Prince Erik from the dragon and carries him back to the kingdom, he doesn't realise that Prince Erik feels that he's been kidnapped instead and is determined to make his way back to his dragon.

Love Like Winter by garnettrees (unfinished but amazing and highly recommended!)

"Once, when all the world was green and young, there lived two very different little boys..."

Now these boys have grown, thrust onto a political battlefield filled with long-held grudges and secret motives. Charles has spent the majority of his adult life studying and teaching the finer points of spell casting.

Erik... Erik fights for what is his.

More Than All The World (The Werewolf's Tale) by luninosity

An Erik/Charles story very loosely based on Marie de France’s 12th-century French werewolf tale, in which Erik is the man transformed into a wolf (he’ll get changed back by the end, it’s not that kind of story, though they very definitely do fall in love) and Charles is a king and eventually there’s a happy ending. Also, a villain’s nose gets bitten off.

A Tale of Two Kingdoms by Pangea

The Swan by waitfornight 

In 1939 Erik and his sister Ruth are sent to Devonshire, England, during the Kindertransport refugee program to live with Kurt and Sharon Marko as foster children just before the start of World War II. Angry and wishing he could return home on the night of his seventeenth birthday, Erik meets a boy alone in the forest who is cursed to transform each day into a swan, only taking his true form by night.

Swan Lake AU.

Beyond the Brambles by velvetcadence

Erik won't wake up unless Charles kisses him down there. A Sleeping Beauty AU.

The Sleeping Prince by stickmarionette

The King and Queen both came to a violent end, as so many kings and queens of Genosha had before them. A shame, but all tales of this sort need blood to feed them.

As for the Crown Prince, just fifteen years old and full of promise, he fell into a deep sleep from which no method devised by the best healers in Genosha could wake him.

The tale of Erik Lehnsherr and the Sleeping Prince of Genosha.

Till Human Voices Wake Us And We Drown by SharpestScalpel

Charles is a selkie. Erik finds his pelt.

Snow White & Sky Blue by TurtleTotem

In which Mother MacTaggert raises two mutant infants left to die in the forest, Shaw is an evil dwarf, and Erik is a bear. (An XMFC version of the fairy tale "Snow White and Rose Red".)

As They Kept Falling the Way Leaves Do by cm (mumblemutter) 

Charles saves Erik.

A Wolf Eats the Sun by SharpestScalpel

For a kink meme prompt:

Charles = red riding hood Erik = the hunter Shaw = the wolf

Can be as vanilla or as smexy as you want given how the red hood in the original parable is supposed to represent a girl's virginity lol

Happily Ever After, My Arse! by ximeria

Fairy Land has had a nice, long run of the show Happily Ever After, but with it gearing up to its 13th season, the previous two years' dwindling viewer numbers mean this might be the last one.

The premise has always been a selection of contestants competing for a happily ever after. No one has ever considered adding a clause specifying that villains can't participate. So what happens when the Master of Magnetism decides to join in on the 'fun'?

The show might turn out to be a total disaster — or a total success if the show’s suffering host, Charles Xavier, manages to come to terms with several things, the pressing one among them being his budding attraction to this impossible man. Not that his co-host, Raven, makes it easy for Charles to stay in denial when she’s in charge of dressing up the contestants.

Add in a tablespoon of Shrek, some How to Train your Dragon and a pinch of Monsters' Inc and your Happily Ever After might just not flambè your arse

[astermath]

she was a skater girl ♬☆

pairing: ethan landry x skater!fem!reader

summary: ethan always watches you skate past him across campus. he finally asks you to try and teach him some tricks, and the two of you share a heartfelt moment together as you watch him struggle.

word count: 1.7K

warnings: mentions of scars and an injury

you can read my other ethan fic “close call” here!!

notes: call me a poser all u want but I’ve never been on a skateboard before. I have however, dated a skater, which I think makes me knowledgeable enough to write this. just some fluff-ish writing, I’m writing a bit of a smutty fic for ethan too so stay tuned for that ʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔ comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list for further ethan landry related content! 

Ethan had his hands in his pockets as he made his way across campus, the sunlight making him squint a little to see properly. It was a beautiful day, the weather had been treating the residents of New York surprisingly well these past few days. He made use of that by taking the long way around to class.

Yeah, that was the reason.

Totally not because he was hoping to catch a glimpse of the cool girl he’d sometimes see skating across campus. Not at all.

He still remembers the first time he saw you. It was one of the first econ classes of the year, and his ears picked up the faint sound of wheels rolling over concrete behind him. He didn’t think much of it at first, but a voice calling out “watch your left!” properly caught his attention. He turned his head slightly, and was soon passed by you just nearly missing him as you zoomed by at a speed most would call dangerous. 

The scent of your perfume caught his nose, and it genuinely had not left his mind ever since. He’d stared at you as you rode up to the building’s entrance and hopped off the board, catching it with ease. He thought about it so often, the way you seemed to so effortlessly glide along the concrete, your stylish clothes, your voice. Love at first sight might have been pushing it, but a crush? Without a doubt.

He’d watch you during the boring parts of lectures, noticing you drumming your fingers against your desk. Upon further inspection, also noticing you always had at least one airpod in. It made him wonder what kind of music someone like you would be into, probably something cool and indie he’d never heard of.

In reality, the soundtrack of the Shrek movie game blasted through your left ear. Maybe a tad less sophisticated than he was expecting, but a banger nonetheless.

His heart nearly skipped a beat when his eyes caught the familiar sight of you skating past the fountain. Instead of going further, you circled around it once, before doing a trick off the side of it. Ethan’s eyes widened and he refrained from applauding to make himself known, but man did he think that was cool. In reality, it wasn’t that hard, at least not to you. You’d been doing this for years, and you had the scars to prove it. 

You both went to class like usual, him sneaking fleeting glances at you. You looked so pretty, lost in thought. Though he doubted those thoughts were about class, you tended to busy yourself with basically anything besides paying attention. He swore he’d seen you watch the Bee Movie during a lecture before...

You quickly rose to your legs after the lecture was announced to be over, grabbing your board by the edge and getting ready to head out, swinging your backpack over your shoulder. You went on your merry way to your favorite spot near the campus, a small abandoned skatepark, head nodding along with the beat of your music. You smoothly manoeuvred across campus and through a couple of streets, hopping off when you finally reached it. No one else was there, and honestly, you preferred it that way. There was no one in the way when you practiced, it was your secret little safe haven. 

“H-Hey!” A semi-familiar voice called out behind you, seemingly slightly out of breath.

Great, up until now, it was your secret little safe haven.

You turned around, a confused expression plastered across your face when you made eye contact with Ethan. You remembered him, the boy from econ class who would sometimes stare at you during lectures. You were certain he didn’t know you knew, but honestly, it’s not like you minded. 

“...Yeah?” You pulled off your headphones, letting them hang around your neck.

“I’m uh, I’m... I’m Ethan.” He struggled getting his words out, still catching his breath. Okay, so maybe he ran after you to see where you went, because he really wanted to ask you something. And maybe you didn’t hear him over your music before. So maybe...

“Did you follow me?” You questioned, stepping closer and taking your board under your arm.

Maybe he followed you. Ethan’s face grew flushed at the question, though in reality, that’s kind of exactly what he did. “N-No!” He put up his hands, trying really hard not to make himself sound like a creep. “Well... Yeah, but... I tried to ask you something, and you didn’t hear me, and I never get a chance to talk to you, so...”

“So you followed me.” You became slightly amused at him struggling to explain himself, suppressing a chuckle to spare him from further embarrassment.

“No I swear I--” He caught the slight smirk on your face, realizing you weren’t mad. “I’m sorry, I just...” He gestured to your skateboard. “I always see you skating by, and I think it’s so cool, and I would kill to know how to do that.” He gathered his thoughts and put his hands together. “Would you be so kind as to forgive me for following you, and please teach me some tricks?”

You looked him up and down, bringing up a hand to rest at the back of your neck, scratching slightly at the skin there. “Ah, fuck it.” You chuckled slightly, and his heart warmed at the sound. Your voice was so pretty, there was something so special about it. You held out a hand, and Ethan reached out to shake it as you introduced yourself. He already knew your name, but in fear of sounding like even more of a creep, he kept that to himself. 

“Come on,” You gestured for him to come closer, setting down the board and hopping on it. You showed him the basics of a good stance, and his eyes watched your beat up sneakers balance on the wood as you explained yourself. “Got it?”

His head snapped up and he looked into your eyes. “Y-Yeah! Totally!”

You laughed softly, getting off the board. “You didn’t hear shit of what I said, did you?” You took a step back. “Get on, show me how you think you should do it, and we’ll adjust from there.”

“Okay, yeah... I can do that.” He carefully put a single foot onto the deck, and it instantly moved to the side, almost making him fall to the ground.

You reached out and he grabbed onto your arms, yelping when he nearly lost his balance. He put a second foot on, and his hands slid down to meet yours, gripping tightly out of fear for nearly eating concrete again. 

“You got it, see? You’re standing!” You tried to be cool about holding his hands, but inside your mind, thoughts of all kinds were running rampant. Ethan was cute, really cute, and here he was, putting his faith in your hands. Literally.

“Yeah... Yeah! I am!” He got a bit too confident and shifted his weight, to which the board responded by moving again. You both got startled and you readjusted your grip on him, before you caught each other’s eyes again. Laughter broke from the both of you, unabashed giggles erupting as you both realized just how silly this was. This whole situation was pretty humorous, but watching him stand on the board like Bambi on ice was something else.

“Okay, okay...” You swallowed, catching your breath after your laughing fit. “I promise I’m not laughing at you, this is just... You’re kinda shit at this.” You giggled again.

He would have been offended if he didn’t know it was true. “I know, shit, I’m surprised I’m still standing.”

“You and me both. Alright, let’s move.” You gently started walking to the side, hands not letting go. The wheels rolled along the hard concrete as he followed along your side, eyes fixated more on you than the board. “There we go!”

He chuckled out of pure surprise that he was still on the deck, and partly to cover up the awkwardness he felt about you having to explain things so simply for him. He looked down at the board, imagining if he was doing it all on his own. 

He was so good at imagining it, that he hadn’t even noticed you’d already let go of his hands, and he was now balancing himself as the board moved. It was only when it halted a bit after that he realized he was doing it by himself. He giggled adorably, arms raising up in a victory pose. You gave him a thumbs up in response, standing a few meters away from him now.

His confidence got the best of him as he gently put his foot down to push himself to your direction, forgetting everything he’d just learned and losing his balance right in front of you. He took you down with him as you both tumbled to the ground, limbs entangling when he landed on top of you.

“S-Shit! Ah, I’m so sorry! Oh my god, are you okay--” He spoke in a panicked tone, before he looked up at your face. You were grinning, clearly suppressing laughter. He let out a nervous chuckle, and that resulted in you bursting out in giggles once more. The two of you shared a good minute of pure, wholesome laughter, not even realizing you were so close together. Nothing else really mattered in that moment, all you could do was laugh.

“Aw, man...” You wiped away a tear from laughing so hard. “Kinda glad you followed me now, Landry. Haven’t had this much fun in ages.” Your heart fluttered at your own words. You couldn’t believe you were being so sappy, but you were genuinely having a blast, even if it involved falling horribly.  You looked down at your knee and noticed a scrape, hissing slightly through your teeth when you reached your hand out to touch it. “Shit, uh... Do you have a band-aid?”

He looked at the wound and then back at your face. “I, uh... I have some back at my dorm.”

You smiled, a bit of a mischievous glint in your eyes. 

“Alright, lead the way.”

tag list <3 let me know if you’d like to be added!

@kometqh​

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SHREK 2 *  assorted dialogue from the 2004 film, adjust as necessary

it's so good to be home!

aren't you two a sight for sore eyes!

look at the time. i guess you'd better be going.

don't you want to tell me about your trip?

we need a little time, you know, to be together. just with each other.

you don't have to worry about a thing.

i will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.

i'll see you sunday for a barbecue or something.

royal ball? can i come?

don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?

stop it. they're not like that.

you could at least give them a chance.

who says i want to be a part of this family?

so that's it. you won't come?

we are not going. and that's final.

are we there yet?

that's not funny. that's really immature.

this is taking forever. there's no in-flight movie or nothing!

so... you still think this was a good idea?

happy now? we came. we saw them. now let's go.

quick! while they're not looking, we can make a run for it.

i'd like you to meet my husband.

what do you mean, "not on the list?" don't tell me you don't know who i am.

thanks for waiting. i had the hardest time getting into this place.

i suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.

it's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?

i only did that because i love her.

i'm here to make it all better.

i don't want to leave. when did you decide this?

do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what i wanted?

i've made changes for you, [name]. think about that.

i knew this would happen.

i think you're taking this a little too personally.

you act as if love is totally predictable.

is that you? my gosh! it's been years.

you've forced me to do something i really don't want to do.

my diet is ruined!

use your imagination.

i need to have someone taken care of.

who dares speak to me?

for this, i charge a great deal of money.

i was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier.

i don't know what came over me. do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over?

we passed that three times already!

don't get huffy! i'm only trying to help!

almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.

i do believe we can make this work to our advantage.

i would think you'd be happy for me.

i'm just thinking about what's best for you. maybe you should do the same.

pick me! i'll be your true love!

for you, baby... i could be.

if you really love her... you'll let her go.

just leave the bottle.

it was all just a stupid mistake.

i hate mondays.

i can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you.

he's gorgeous! he has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.

you know, shockingly, this isn't make me feel any better.

you better have a good reason for dragging us down here.

perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off?

you can't force someone to fall in love.

you're supposed to say i have the right to remain silent. nobody said i have the right to remain silent!

i am wearing ladies underwear.

we're going to need flour. lots and lots of flour.

i'm just playing the part.

is that glitter on your lips?

will you honor me with a dance?

let's crash this party!

you were supposed to give her the potion!

i'd hoped you'd never see me like this.

i just wish i could be the man you deserve.

if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.

whatever happens, i must not cry.

[sweetieyos]

caught (nanami x reader)

hello! this is a continuation of my latest post of nanami x reader, sadly because of my studies, i couldn't post a lot and the draft of this fic got delete :( anyways hope you enjoy it!

• btw, i got this idea from @queen-quintonz who said that would like to see this scenario! so here it is! ♡ (sorry for the late delay lol)

you and nanami have been dating for a while, specifically three months, and it has been the cutest three months you have been because of your spring lover era, but also the most difficult.

you wanted to keep your life private, nanami wanted to keep his life private, so both of you decide to not show too much pda in school or in public areas, instead in his or your dorm.

but because of how weird it would look a guy going to a girl's dorm, or a girl going to a guy's dorm, both of you also decided to keep the high school's forest your place. the forest was big so much that not everyone would look both of you making out or cuddling.

you and nanami wanted privacy and intimacy, only that, but it looks that even in the forest you couldn't get that...

the first time you got caught, it was when haibara was looking for nanami to give him back the 110 yen nanami once gave him so he could get a soda. haibara went into nanami's dorm but he wasn't there, so he decided to get a walk until nanami returned.

haibara then found himself in the forest and he got attracted by some voices, when he got near, he found you and your boyfriend cuddling and giggling. haibara stared in awe and gasped when you and nanami kissed. then haibara appeared out of nowhere scaring both of you.

'OMG! YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE! YOU REALLY MAKE A GREAT COUPLE! CAN I GET AN INVITATION TO THE WEDDIN-'

haibara got cut in mid of sentence by a punch that nanami gave him in the stomach ending in haibara being tracked down, nanami said he got scared and didn't know who was, and also because of the annoying screaming. as an apology, nanami asked haibara to keep the 110 yen which haibara accepted, and also taking him with shoko. you talked seriously with nanami that day.

'nami, first of all, you really need to control your anger issues- you just can't punch anyone just like that! specially to your best friend! i understand you got scared but still. and also, we need to be careful if someone is near of us, so we can avoid that conflict again'

your 'nami' accepts and he started to be more relaxed than before (i hc that he was aggresive) but also to be more careful with you if someone see.

again, not everything went well... nanami was decoring your hair with some little flowers he saw and he was dying of how cute you were, so he decides to some pictures of you with a camera he brought, all the photos well went, you looked beautiful until a white-haired appeared in the pictures.

'oi, suguru, look at the lovebirds! they aren't cute?'

you and your boyfriend scoffed at that and geto told gojo to be more polite with the couple since love is something everybody needs.

gojo made an 'eh?' sound and answer in a very sour mood 'love? important you said? what are you? a philosopher?'

geto gave him a dirty look and a lecture on how to be more educated toward people meanwhile he was getting ready for the 'satosugu fight of the week'.

fastly, you and your boyfriend ran away from the scene before director yaga or someone else see, you don't want to get caught with the rat from shrek and his moralist boyfriend.

another failed date in the forest but you got flowers and hey! gojo and geto got grounded for their mischief. but now, you and your boyfriend are the ones who are grounded.

you don't know how it happened and it was embarrassing. just in the time when you and nanami were making out, it was the time were your professor caught you. you didn't see anyone or listen to something! well, you did listen to something just someone clearing his throat, and when you broke the kiss, your dear professor was there.

besides a punishment, you got a lecture in his office about 'couples in high school', 'teenage pregnancy', and 'toxic relationships', and all your classmates got their ears in the door.

'haibara get off!' shoko said

'no! you are the one who need to get off!' gojo answer her

'satoru shut the fuck up!' geto scolded

'ouch! my hair!' haibara whines

by luck for them, they didn't get caught but did hear the reason for the punishment. and before the door went open, the gossipers disappeared and acted as normal.

so, now, you and your boyfriend are taking care of the forest because 'as you like to go so much to go there you need to take care of'.

even though it was nice and you were not alone because of your sweet boyfriend who you can give a kiss when you wanted to, but sadly yaga was watching.

everyone made fun of you and your boyfriend, and that is the reason why the gossipers who were in the door are now helping.

omg this was fun to write even though it was difficult to illustrate a long thought into words :'(

[ponett]

I have now finally seen the Mario movie. It was Pretty Good. Here are my wordy thoughts on it. (I am going to spoil the entire movie. Duh.)

In many ways, the Mario movie does what I wish the first Sonic movie had done. They just took the characters and the premise and the world from the games, and made it a straightforward animated adventure movie. It's bright and colorful and remixes things JUST enough to include fun elements from multiple games, and it doesn't make Mario get adopted by James Marsden or whatever. It even has the music!

That's all you really need, right? Right...?

I'll get this out of the way up front. Chris Pratt was fine. He's fine

If anything, it really feels like they did the movie a disservice by letting us hear so little of the Mario voice in the previews. It took one scene for Pratt to disappear into the role for me. It was totally fine. If anything, I found Charlie Day's normal voice coming out of Luigi WAY more distracting, even if I did like him in the role.

Everyone else was pretty good, for the most part. Jack Black was obviously very good as Bowser, but I'm biased. Seth Rogen does the Seth Rogen laughs as Donkey Kong, but I thought DK was fun, too. (I liked his little rivalry with Mario where he was just constantly giving him shit.) The only casting choice I truly hated was Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong. I hated every line that came out of his mouth. He sounds atrocious. Just the worst. I swear to fucking god if they do a DKC movie and we have to hear him for 90 minutes

I did think Peach was lacking, but that was on the script, not Anya Taylor-Joy's performance. It's cool to see Peach fight, but it's one of those all too common instances where the writers put so much effort into making the main girl kick ass and be an effortlessly confident girlboss that they forgot to give her an actual personality. Not that I'd point to Super Princess Peach and its mood swing superpowers as positive representation or anything, but there's a happy middle ground, surely. Shrek was 22 years ago, just having the princess do flying kung fu kicks isn't enough.

Okay. With the voices out of the way, let's talk about the big picture:

It's way better than the words "Illumination Mario movie" implied, and I mostly enjoyed my time with it. The spirit of Mario is there 100%. But I'd also describe it as "ruthlessly efficient."

This was perhaps the main complaint critics had, and they were absolutely right. People have responded to these totally average reviews with "Well, what did you expect? Shakespeare?! It's MARIO!!" Like, yes, I would prefer it if the movie I paid to see had writing that was good instead of bad. What a shocker. My issue isn't that it's not "high-brow" enough. The problem is that it feels mercenary. It feels like an editor went through and deleted almost every line of dialogue that isn't some form of exposition, at the expense of the pacing. Any scene that's not a montage or some sort of action is kept as short as they could make it, with barely any room for embellishment, character interaction, or anything other than the bare minimum word count to hit all the typical Save the Cat Hollywood screenwriting 101 story beats to the letter. There aren't even as many jokes as you might think (and the ones that are there are extremely hit or miss, including a lot of the slapstick with Mario himself).

Mario and Peach's little arc together in the front half of the film is probably the worst example of this pacing. Even having read reviews that complained about how fast Peach goes from meeting Mario (by her admission the first other human she's ever met) to deciding to train him as the new savior of the Mushroom Kingdom, I was SHOCKED at how fast it was. They don't even lampshade it.

Peach takes Mario straight into the big training sequence where he learns how to use mushrooms and jump over platforming obstacles. Peach is apparently already a hypercompetent platforming pro and a great fighter, so there's no clear reason why she's taking the time to train this random guy to be half as good as her when the world is in danger. Then they set off on their adventure, Toad joins them, and we get a VERY brief travel montage. It's about thirty seconds total - just long enough to give Peach a line about how she wants to protect this beautiful world of hers to try and give her some stakes. We get the genre-mandated nighttime campfire heart to heart, which is exactly long enough to have Mario say he misses Luigi and to have Peach give the two sentence summary of her origin story and not a second longer. Then they reach the Kongs, and their big journey is complete. (They barely interact for the rest of the movie.) So much of the movie is like this - always ready to get on to the next scene as soon as a new one starts.

I'm not criticizing the script because I expect The Super Mario Bros. Movie to be a prestige drama - although there are certainly halfhearted attempts at a dramatic arc. The stuff with Mario's family was a fun enough idea, but again, ruthless efficiency. We get one quick scene with them at the start to give Mario some pathos, because I guess Save the Cat said he's gotta have some pathos. And then Mario gets his dad's approval amidst the action of the final battle in Brooklyn to resolve his arc, just so the movie can end as quickly as possible once Bowser is defeated. (Despite now having the approval of their family and their community back in Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi move to the Mushroom Kingdom off-screen without a single word dedicated to this decision, because that's where they live in the games.)

Look. I am not comparing it to The Godfather. Don't give me that shit. I am not asking for an extra half hour to explore Mario and Luigi's childhood trauma. I am not asking for the complex inner workings of the Mushroom Kingdom monarchy. I know this is gonna be a basic Hero's Journey adventure for kids. It just feels like it's turning down so many opportunities to have a little fun with the characters, to let them interact and play off of each other, to let there be some adventure on this adventure. This is the first time we've gotten to see these characters interact with fully voiced dialogue in a very, very long time! "Yeah, it's not High Art, but it's FUN!" Stories are fun! Character interactions are fun! The script could be having so much more fun!! It is adamantly against making the Story parts of this story-driven movie any more Fun than they functionally need to be!!!

Mario, Peach, and Toad's journey to find the Kongs is shorter than the training montage that precedes it. After the opening, Bowser mostly just sits in his castle and waits for the third act to start. Luigi's there, too, but he only gets one scene with Bowser and then the movie mostly forgets he exists until the climax. He doesn't even get to try and sneak out of Bowser's castle and get up to hijinx. He's just there to be a motivation for Mario, so he sits in a cage for half the movie. It's the bare outline of a script with action scenes added in.

Aside from the fact that it's Jack Black singing as Bowser, I feel like this overly-efficient script might be part of the reason why the "Peaches" scene stands out so much. It's a moment that didn't strictly need to be there to keep the plot moving or to provide an action setpiece. It's not even a reference to another Mario thing. It's just a fun and memorable little character moment that's there for its own sake. That's what the movie needed more of. To stop and smell the roses more often. To play in the space.

To be clear, this isn't a unique problem with this movie. Critics have been noting for years that second acts are disappearing from big Hollywood movies in favor of the Act I plot setup and the Act III action, even though Act II is supposed to be where you get to explore your actual premise. And lots of animated movies give me this exact same vibe of being too "screenwriterly," or feeling like they had an executive breathing down their necks and demanding changes based on focus testing. But these common issues are why I come away mostly feeling like the movie is on the better end of "average," rather than totally blowing my mind. You have seen this movie many times before, just not with Mario in it.

And, of course, there's the music. The score by Brian Tyler based on various classic Mario and Donkey Kong tunes (frustratingly all attributed to Koji Kondo) is absolutely beautiful, but it's unfortunately frequently overshadowed by the licensed music. Everyone already complained about things like the use of Take On Me in place of a lovingly arranged DKC medley, but it feels illustrative of the tug of war the movie is caught in the middle of, between wanting to be a lavishly faithful Mario movie and wanting to be a generic tentpole animated adventure movie. Every single licensed song used is the most obvious, overused song they could have picked for the scene. It reeks of cynical executive meddling and it took me out of the movie every time.

But there really was a lot of care and love put into this movie - more than probably any other video game movie ever made, not that that's a high bar. I don't want to underplay that too much amidst all my complaints spurred by the absolutely insane response to the reviews.

Aside from the countless background references that people will be picking apart for years, touches like the Captain Toad tune playing in the background of Toad's introduction or the Mario Kart 8 menu music playing in the kart garage really help bring it to another level of authenticity. I also enjoyed seeing some more obscure Mario enemies that felt like they were picked more for being fun to animate than for being nostalgic and marketable. No matter how many times I sarcastically pointed to the screen and deadpanned "reference. reference." I am not immune to noticing these things and smiling. I am not immune to the DK Rap. These alone don't make the movie good, but it's nice to have a video game movie that feels like it was made by people who like video games.

Most importantly, the animation is great throughout. It's leaps and bounds ahead of other Illumination work, and it's the best the Mario cast has ever looked. They even made Donkey Kong handsome, somehow. They're all so squishy and expressive, and they move so fluidly - especially in the action scenes. I particularly liked the more kinetic ones like the aerial Banzai Bill chase and the Mario Kart sequence. Truly, the Mad Max-inspired car battle on Rainbow Road where Mario literally does the speedrun shortcut is this movie firing on all cylinders.

Other, more hand-to-hand fights nail the Popeye-esque vibe Mario should be going for. He's an underdog who gets the shit kicked out of him by bigger, stronger opponents until he gets his signature powerup and turns the tables on them. My favorite animation of all probably came from the use of Cat Mario to turn the tide in the DK fight. They had so much fun making Mario move like a cat. Again, it feels like a choice made because it'd be fun to animate rather than just a nostalgia move.

It's that animation and that attention to detail that carry the film, really. They elevate it from mediocrity into being a fun watch for a fan like me, albeit one I couldn't help but pick apart with Anthony as we watched it at home. I'm glad I saw it, but there's a lot of room to improve with the inevitable sequel. I hope they do. I can't deny that I had fun with the movie, but I hope next time that fun is partially because of the script instead of in spite of it.

Stray thoughts:

Overall, I would say I enjoyed the movie a lot more than Sonic 1, but probably not as much as Sonic 2. Not that these movies need to be pitted against each other.

I hated the Luma. I hated how hilarious they clearly thought the Luma was. They have the fucking Luma break the fourth wall to end the movie and start the credits. This is going to be a deep cut for fans of bad animated films, but the whole time I was just thinking of the little fish from Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With A Kiss who's just the director's kid saying random nonsense. You know I'm right

I rolled my eyes at the "our princess is in another castle" joke and several other jokes that would have been dated in a gamer webcomic 20 years ago but I guess they had to be there

How much of Brooklyn did Bowser's giant floating castle take out? We know 9/11 happened in this universe because the Freedom Tower is there, hasn't New York been through enough

I can't believe there's a Diskun easter egg

The dog is the most Illumination character design in the movie. It felt like it wandered on set from The Secret Life of Pets

Mario being a gamer and playing Kid Icarus of all things just made me remember this tweet:

Yes Anthony did get mad at me for being thirsty for Bowser

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

I've been shaken to my core, shocked, with the knowledge that you have not seen Shrek, shame, shame friend 😔

Anyway, we've seen the MC being the M6 lost sibling. What if the MC had a sibling before the red plague events? And the MC and M6 find out shortly after they've fought the devil?

Like, someone who is a complete stranger for them appears and presents themselves as "MC's younger sibling" (I'm not saying this bc that's the case with my MC, not at all)

Is this understandable? Sometimes I have trouble explaining, sorry if it sounds just like a mess hehe

-🐿️

The Arcana Mini-HCs: MC meeting their long-lost sibling

Julian: feeling a little less terrible about himself because this means he's not the only person who went years without contacted a younger sibling. immediately attempts to become their older brother and makes efforts to help you get your family life back

Asra: this happens either because 1) they knew about your sibling, and they had to stay away because it caused headaches, or 2) they didn't know and are now wracked with guilt. either way, he'll do whatever it takes to support you and help you two bond

Nadia: and here she thought things were already complicated with her own sisters! she's delighted that you have the second chance to know them, though, and she's quick to offer them space at the Palace as her guest if they need somewhere to stay

Muriel: the "I had a living family member and only found out after meeting you" club now has two members, welcome in MC! he's going to attempt to fade into the background so you two can sort things out but deep down he'd really like to be their brother too

Portia: she's going to have a tough time with this one, because she went through hell after her older sibling disappeared for years on end and it's hard not to project that onto the current situation. however, she'll do a great job of helping you bond and easing the tension

Lucio: the part where neither of you have seen each other in years is completely lost on him, because he's too busy running his hands through his hair and trying to fix his eyeliner to make a good impression as your sibling's future brother-in-law

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Unsolicited Beauty and the Beast analysis & aus incoming

So the beast gets cursed for judging others by appearance and being unwilling to share, right? Given that, I think it's weird that the punishment was to be locked up in his tower and to wait for someone to learn to love him despite his appearance. i think a more narratively fitting condition would be that he learn to love someone else despite their appearance.

Therefore I think a good retelling would be a beauty and the beast x Howl's moving castle hybrid - Belle, cursed to look like an old woman, moves in and Beast can't help but love her despite his own tendencies and the fact that she's very annoying and terrorizes his animate household objects.

Other beauty and the beast AUs I would accept include:

Beast breaks his own curse by learning to love, and sharing his resources with, the impoverished townspeople, thus proving he can see beyond appearances and share what he has

Belle finds out Beast was a child when he was cursed, and devotes her life to inventing cognitive behavioral therapy

Belle finds out Beast was a child when he was cursed, and sets out to hunt down the witch because the real monster is the one who would inflict that on a child

Belle comes to the castle unprompted, discovers the library and basically sneakily sets up camp; becomes the beast's personal poltergeist

Pride and prejudice AU where the beast breaks his curse by reconsidering his life choices after a disastrous first proposal

Shrek AU where Belle becomes a beast too

Monster, ah, appreciator Belle AU where the sheer force of her lust towards the beast breaks the spell immediately and she has to act like she doesn't know what happened and also isn't disappointed at all that he's human again

"re-learning to read" version where Beast gains compassion for others as a result of his broadened horizons as he reads

QPR Belle and Beast

Belle is the beast one and the prince has to learn to love her to break his spell

Beast slow transformation back into a human (there's a great Tumblr story about this somewhere)

These are free writing ideas, please write this I have too much else on my plate. Good luck

[thenewausten]

Quackity Imagine: It's not too late. Part 2: "Can we start again?"

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/thenewausten/744114077422534656/quackity-imagine-its-not-too-late-part-1-you?source=share

Alex: can you unblock me on Instagram?

You: why?

Alex: because I want to follow you on it??? maybe stalk you a bit...

You: 🙄

Alex: are you better, by the way? I didn't want to send a message before so you could have your time

You: I was better but you texted me, now I'm miserable again

Alex: fuck you, Y/N

You: I unblocked you. I didn't know you were that famous, dude

Alex: already stalking me???? Jesus, Y/N...

You: my life was better when you weren't on it

Alex: stopppp 😭

You: so, what do you want?

Alex: I want to talk with you, are you free tonight???

You: uh... for you? never

Alex: I'm serious, Y/N

You: sorry, Mr. Serious. I'm single so, yes, I'm free. there's nothing to do on a Friday night when you don't have a partner

Alex: yeah... I know it 🥲

You: pick me up at 7pm

Alex: where???

You: uh... my house?

Alex: sure, princess

You: see ya, Shrek

Alex: OHH GUCK YOU!!!!!

You hated to admit Alex was making you smile and even laugh to your phone, but could you blame yourself? Your groom just broke up with you after admitting he was cheating on you with his co-worker. You deserved a little laughter in your life, c'mon.

At 7pm you hear Alex's car in front of your house. As soon as you get out, you see him leaning against the car with a flower in his hand."Hey." He says as you approach him, looking at the rose."Uh, I stole it from your garden. It's for you, tho." He gives it to you and you laugh."You're unbelievable, Alex." You accept the rose and smile a bit. "Let's go." He says and opens the door of his car for you. "Thanks."

"Where are you taking me, Alex?" You ask as he starts to drive."To a restaurant. It's one of my favourites."

"Cool." You say, looking to the rose on your hand."Are you better? Like, seriously." He asks, you can feel the worry on his words and it hurts you a little."Yes, I mean, I'm better. I had a long conversation with my best friend, mom and therapist, so..." You shrug and he giggles."He cheated on me, I'm glad he broke up." You finish and he nods."I'm happy for you, Y/N."

"Thanks. And you? Like, how are you?" You ask, he stays in silence for, like, a second or two."I'm fine, I guess."

"Really? Tell me more about you. Do you have a therapist?!"

"Uh, yes." He answers."He's nice. I don't know what to say about me, I mean, I'm a lawyer and have a Minecraft server, and..."

"How can you be a lawyer and a streamer at the same time?! I mean, do you have a lawyer personality or...?"

"Yes, I do." He laughs."I can't be an idiot on court." You laugh.

Alex stops his car in front of a fancy restaurant. Like, what the fuck?! You were happy you were with a nice dress, but it still didn't seem to be enough."You should tell me so I'd dress properly." You whisper as he opens the door of his car for you."Relax, you're great." He says with a smile on his face, you roll your eyes and smile a bit.

It's funny that your ex was treating you better than the man you were supposed to get married. You though with yourself. Alex guides you to the fancy restaurant and starts to talk with the hostess about the reservation of your guys table. The hostess starts to guide you to your table and Alex puts a hand on your back, his touch making you shiver a little.

"Thank you." He says to the hostess as she goes away, Alex helps you to sit and then sits in front of you."How long have you had the Coffee Shop and the Flower Shop?" He asks. "Two years. I went to Cambridge to study Business Administration and then I decided to risk something and open the Coffee Shop and the Flower Shop." You answer him, he smiles to you."That's nice. Can I visit it some day?" You laugh."Of course, I'm going to poison your coffee and give you flowers with bees."

"The flowers would be for you, so you'd be the one harmed, you know?" He says."Then I'm going to poison your coffee, I think it's enough." You smile as he laughs."You're so bad with me, Y/N."

"You deserve it." You whisper, seriously."I'm sorry." He says, suddenly."What?"

"I shouldn't have broken up with you. Not like that." He starts."I was stupid back then, but I was also scared and passing through a lot of shit, I didn't want to be a terrible boyfriend to you."

"You never were, Alex." You answer, feeling you'd cry at any time."You were so good to me, that's why it hurts to this day. I mean, I couldn't forgive you for leaving."

"I understand, I don't forgive me either." He whispers."But I also see that it was necessary because I didn't want to hurt you or traumatize you. Like, in any way."

"Are you already with someone else?" You hear a voice that, unfortunately, you know very well."Damn, Y/N." You look up and see your ex with a blonde woman. His co-worker.

"What are you doing here?" You ask him, confused and chocked to react to his question."I mean, what? You were the one cheating on me."

"Apparently you were cheating too, right?" He says, the anger in his voice makes you shiver a little."Hey, can you leave Y/N in peace, please? You don't have anything to do with her anymore." You hear Alex's voice."Yeah, who are you?" Your ex asks as Alex starts to get up. "I'm Alex. Now, leave."

"Ain't no 'fuckin way. Y/N, I want to talk with you. C'mon, get up." He says to you as you don't even move."Baby, is it necessary?" The blonde co-worker asks to him."Of course it's!"

"I don't want to talk with you, I want you to leave me alone with Alex." You say, indignant at the audacity of your ex, like, who does he think he's?!"Did you do that whole scene at the party when you were already with someone else?"

"Can you stop? You're making me feel ashamed." You say to him as you see some people are looking to your table."He's a friend."

"You don't have to explain anything to him, Y/N." Alex says as your ex starts to stare him."Dude, leave. She doesn't want to talk with you."

"You're her ex-boyfriend." You whisper a "shit" as you hear it. "Can you call security for us?" Alex asks to a waiter and sighs, frustrated."You're being inconvenient." You whisper to your ex, getting up."Why don't you have your dinner with your partner and leave me alone with mine?"

"She's right, baby." His co-worker says."I always knew that you never stopped loving him." He ignores his partner and says that."You're never happy with me."

"I was. But you were a terrible boyfriend sometimes." You say to him."You cheated on me, c'mon!"

"You're terrible in bed, that's the reason why I cheated on you." He says, as it was a plausible justification. Your cheeks burning red with embarrassment as you hear him say it loud and clear for some people around you to hear it."And you're boring, so..."

"What's wrong with you, dude?" Alex asks and pushes him away from you."Hey, can you take this man out of the restaurant? He's harassing my friend." He says as soon as the security approaches."That's not true, I was just talking with my ex." Your ex says as the security approaches him. "Please, follow me." The security grabs his arm to guide him to the exit of the restaurant.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Alex approaches you."Can we leave? I don't want to be here anymore." You whisper to him and he nods."Of course, love. Let's go." He guides you to the exit, you both find your ex and his co-worker discussing."Can I go there and punch him on the face?" Alex asks to you and you laugh."No, I don't want to talk to him." You say."You don't have to. Wait for me in the car." He gives you his keys and you grab his arm to stop him from going."Stop, 'Lex." He stops and turn around to look at your face."Can you say it again?" He asks with a smile on his lips."What? Stop?" He laughs."The nickname." You smile to him as he puts his hands on your waist."'Lex?" You repeat it and he nods with a smile on his face."You always called me that when we were dating."

"Yeah, I know." You whisper."Do you want me to take you to your house?" He asks."No, I want you to visit my Coffee Shop, do you want to?" You ask him and he nods."I thought it was closed right now." He says, confused."It's, but I can open it only for the two of us."

You explain to Alex where's your Coffee Shop and in less than ten minutes, he's admiring the place, chocked with the beauty of it."You decorated it, right? It's screaming Y/N." You laugh and nod."Yes, I did. Can I serve you the best Coffee that we have?" You ask him."Of course. Are you going to poison it?"

"Obviously. Take a sit, please." He sits on a chair and you move yourself to the kitchen. You prepare the coffee for the two of you and also put an apple pie to bake. Minutes later, you take it to him."Thank you." You smile to him and sit next to him."I can't believe you almost married that stupid man, Y/N."

"Yeah, I mean, I thought... He was the right guy, you know? For a long time I thought it. But he's not." You say and Alex nods."He made me feel so embarrassed."

"Don't worry, he's an asshole. You're not boring and much less terrible in bed." You laugh."Oh, shut up!"

"I'm serious." He says as he laughs."Fine, then. Drink the coffee." You point to his coffee and he drinks it."Wow." He whispers."It's really good." You smile."I'm going to give you all my money for the rest of my life, I guess."

"Thanks." He smiles to you."I know you probably don't want to date someone right now, but, uh... I never stopped loving you, I always searched for you in other people and I could never be satisfied. None of them were you and it killed me to know that I'd never stop loving you and probably would never see you again. When I saw in that party, I... I mean, was the best day of my life in the last five years. Nothing that I did in my career or even personal life made me as happy as seeing you again."

You think you've never started crying so quickly, feeling your heart ache at Alex's words. You also never thought you'd feel so much love for someone."I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry." He whispers, his hand touches your back, gently comforting you."I... I never stopped loving you either, Alex. I thought I could be happy with other people, that I'd be complete with them, but something was always missing. And I tried to forget you, but I could never do it."

Alex approaches you and pulls you into a hug, kissing your head."Can we start again? I mean, can I take you to dates, give you bouquet of flowers and visit you on your work? I want to call you when I'm stressed just to hear your voice and I want to take you to trips and I want to give you the love you deserve. I promise you, this time I won't let you go." He whispers and you pull away to face him."Of course, I want to. I just, I need some time alone, you know? But I don't want to stop seeing you, I want you to be part of my life again."

"I'll wait for you, Y/N. Eres el amor de mi vida." He whispers and holds your face."You're the love of my life too, Alex." You smile to him as he smiles to you."I missed you." You whisper and hug him again, he hugs your waist."I missed you too."

Note: I'll write part 3 to end the story <3

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the writing! :)

Requests are open!

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Megamind

So surprisingly, this is one movie I've never actually seen before outside of all of the memes and all of the love people tend to shower upon it, and after finally seeing it for myself... yeah, I totally get why. Megamind is based as fuck, ya'll.

We focus on, of course, Megamind, who is a supervillain who terrorizes Metro City and is opposed by the heroic Metro Man. At least until Megamind seems to successfully defeat Metro Man, leaving Metro City in his hands and quickly leading him into wanting more than just power alone. While in disguse, he ends up striking up a romance with Roxanne, a local reporter, and at the same time, he ends up creating a new opponent for him to fight to curb his growing boredum in the nerdy (incel) Hal, who quickly becomes more of a villain himself than the hero Megamind wanted him to be. So of course, this leads to all sorts of chaos and hijinks, and while you might think that plot sounds too complicated for its own good, I can surprisingly say, it really isn't!

Yeah, all of the moving pieces here work so well together, interwoven into a really compelling story with some pretty solid emotions and some great character moments. It helps that our cast itself is fantastic; Megamind is such a good lead, he's a genuis, but he's also totally socially graceless and is an absolute lovable goober as a result, one who comes to realize that he can be more than the "villain" stereotype he believed he was forced into being from childhood. Roxanne is also a really good leading lady; she's funny and snarky and has really great chemistry with Megamind throughout.

Metro Man doesn't get a ton of screentime, but he's a great parody on the usual superhero tropes, while Minion is the perfect right hand man (fish?) to Megamind in every way. Even our villain, Hal, or as he comes to be called, Titan, works really well here; he's the kind of asshole who just doesn't take no for an answer that we can all justifably hate (but he's also hilarious in his own right).

The animation is also really great here. I find that Dreamworks movies tend to look their best when their characters are highly stylized, and that's what we get a lot of here. We get a lot of really fun action scenes, both in terms of fighting and Megamind's tech. and strangely enough the special effects here (things like fabric and particle effects, etc) really stood out to me, they were all super well done.

The humor is absolutely fantastic here. It's not as adult as some of Dreamworks earlier days, but instead it relies more on who these characters are and how they interact with each other. I think one of my favorite running gags is Megamind obliviously mispronouncing various words (like school and Metro City). There's a bunch of small bits just like that throughout the movie, and they're all so fast paced and well delivered by a really stellar voice cast. The emotions also strike a cord here; there aren't any tearjerker moments, but you really do feel Megamind's growth here as he falls in love and eventually decides to become the hero he never thought he could be.

So yeah, I really enjoyed this one! It's a shame it took me this long to watch it, because it was super enjoyable all the way through. Also amazing that it never really spawned any legit sequels, but I heard its getting a show next year, so idk. I am probs not gonna watch it. Movie good tho, give it a watch if ya haven't.

Overall Rating: 9/10

Verdict: There is no Queen of England

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