#but he is as dumb as a box of rocks

[brinnanza]

why is he like this!!!!! he has THREE WATER BOWLS that I change REGULARLY

[hey-scully-itsme]

i think jack aubrey is the only intelligent man who fully qualifies as a himbo regardless

[medi-melancholy]

nothing going on in that head

[atopvisenyashill]

AND ANOTHER THING i do think it’s very clear who the dance 2.0 is going to involve when adwd opens with jon, dany, and tyrion. like lol, lmao, that’s not subtle. but that doesn’t mean tyrion is ALSO a secret targaryen. instead ✨my opinion✨is that this is implying that tyrion will be the real power behind One Of The Dragons Involved…and tyrion introduces us to this whole entire insane new plot line that seems to come from nowhere about a third dragon being alive.

and then we got f&b which is just like, a lot of different people jockeying to be the power behind whatever dragon is sitting that throne and how important that close advisor is to keeping any sort of control on power, which is again, not subtle aksjd. SO YEAH, i mean whether tyrion DOES everything he’ll get accused of is probably going to be of heavy debate, but that man isn’t name dropping viserys ii every other convo just to be a targaryen all along. he’s going to be corlys, he’s going to be otto, he’s going to be septon barth, he’s going to be his father writ small - the person actually pulling the strings behind a dragon, not a dragon himself. i think his part in the dance is going to be very similar to all of theirs, which is to say, the moment he rips his own power away from whatever dragon he picks, is the moment that dragon is slated for death. it’s the moment they are SCREWED.

[caterpillarinacave]

so anyway. fairchild triplets.

[space-pot8o]

I have a question for the collective brain cell of Tumblr. Do you think it’s possible for fuckboys to become himbos? Like some sort of character arc? Because I know a fuckboy who’s got himbo potential, but he’s a little too self absorbed to be classified as a himbo just yet. But he’s still young so I’m curious to see what happens.

[astralforests]

mostly i think calling gop leaders stupid/idiots/ignorant is falling into their act; they know what they're doing and the "oho i'm just a simple man with simple values and you're just trying to confuse people with your fancy words" is an insidious and unfortunately effective schtick [and also actual "intelligence" by whatever measure does not equate value or morality or goodness]. but i do straight up think tuberville is a moron

[clickbeetle]

sometimes while realizing how dumb petrie is, i remember that there are nineteen other lizards out there that have half of his genes

[lucacolaquantum]

From kitten to cat!

[feddy-fagbear]

so fnaf technically isnt my current hyperfix (my oc is :3) so im currently in crossover hell rn giggling kicking my feet thinking abt cyril n michael having a cigarette together talking abt their lives because the concept is just so silly

[faxxmodem]

love to see people outside the wrestling world thinking logan paul has retreated into dudebro-podcasting ignominy like no dog he's on fucking friday night smackdown. he has a championship belt.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Chewby💜

Pitbulls are so funny because someone really walked in like "hello, I would like the most dense fucking dog you can possibly manufacture. I'm talking 2x the amount of dog you can condense in the space of one dog. A neutron star of a dog. Compress that motherfucker. Make it stupid also."

[fairy-angel222]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯! 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

He’s been stealing your panties since the week he met you. Collecting them in different pretty colors and fabrics. Using them to jerk off every night with the groan of your name. Stuffing them under his nose or using them to stroke his cock, either way had him cumming to the thought of you all the same.

He takes your stuff and holds them over your head. Watching your tits bounce as you whined and struggled to reach. Smirking widely as he teased, “if you want it back so bad then kiss me.” Blood rushing to his cock when you actually get on your tip toes to kiss him shortly, forcing your lips to stay on his when you try to pull away.

Who pretends to be asleep until he hears your soft moans at one in the morning. Quietly cracking open your door to watch you touch yourself, his hard cock already in hand as you moaned and mewled so fucking prettily. Stroking at the pace of your desperately working fingers till you two orgasm at the same time.

Who ‘accidentally’ sends you a video of him lazily jerking off on his bed, his lip in between his teeth and his other hand behind his head as he looks directly into the camera. The message coming through followed by a small “oops, sorry sweetheart, wrong person”

Who starts getting bolder and bolder even after you suspect him of being the reason for your missing underwear. Leaving slight yet noticeable touches to your ass and boobs whenever he had the chance. Always laughing it off and joking about how soft you were and about how perfectly your tits fit in his hand.

Who calls you up to his room when he’s about to cum, his lips parting in heavy breaths as you walked in clad in your short pajama set. Your eyes widening as he fisted his length, eyes meeting yours with a loud groan as he spilled onto his hand. “Shit, can you grab me that box of tissue?” Letting out heavy breaths with a dark grin.

Who starts walking around the house with nothing but low hanging sweats to get you flustered. Brushing up against you or wrapping his toned arms around your body. His rock like abs against your back as he whispered into your ear. “Well these shorts are shorter than usual.” Loving the way your face heated up for him.

Who starts to make you sit in his lap for everything. Saying that you weren’t allowed to watch tv unless you did it from his lap. Or that you couldn’t seat at the table to eat breakfast unless it was again, on his lap.

Who suddenly wants to spend all his time with you so that you couldn’t go out as often. He wanted you, and would make you his at some point.

Who finally sinks his cock into your tight pussy after teasing you subtly all day. “Waited so long for this.” He grunted, his thumb running over your bottom lip which was swollen from all his rough kissing. “Feels even better than i expected.”

You cried out loudly, small whimpers falling past your parted lips as his hold on your legs tightened. Holding them in place over his shoulders as he fucked into you harshly. Thick cot brushing against your g spot as it hammered deep.

���That’s it, just take it baby. Please mama? Take it f’me yeah?” He breathed, his head in your neck as he licked and sucked dark marks onto your skin. Snapping his hips into yours in oute need, not being able to get enough of the moment that he dreamed for so long about.

“Does that feel good baby?” Watching as you nodded with a teary cry, your eyes fluttering shut as your back arched off his sheets.

“Look at me.” he groaned, your eyes peeling open to meet his as you both filled the room with your noises. “Wanna fill you up so bad, pussy’s so fucking perfect.”

“S-satoruu— nngh,”

“Oh fuck baby, let me hear my name again.” He breathed, hand snaking lightly around your neck. Your choked moans and babbles getting louder as your stomach tightened. Gojo never slowing his pace as he fucked you dumb.

“Haah, Sat-oruu, ahh,” you mewled, your pussy tightening as your body began to tremble. Gripping onto the sheets at your side at the orgasmic build up.

“Can feel you getting close, squeezing me so tight,” Gojo grunted, lewd squelching sounds filling your ears each time his cock bullied its way deep. “I’ve got you baby, cum f’me.” His hand squeezed down on your throat, your wet eyes meeting piercing blue ones with a chant of his name. His cock twitching inside you as your pussy messily thanked his cock.

“O-oh fuck- ‘m never letting you go you know that? Wanted you for way too long.” His eyes fixed on yours as you shook your head.

You felt so good, and he found him self unable to come to a stop even as he got close.

“S-satoru—”

“C-can’t baby, feels so good, shit— gotta cum in you.” Pressing his lips onto yours to muffle your whines as he gave his final sloppy thrusts. His hips flush against yours as he buried himself deep inside you with a moan. His eyes rolling back as he spilled into you, pumping ropes after ropes of the sticky substance onto your walls.

Gojo pulled away with a satisfied breath, swiping his tongue across his lips with an unapologetic smile at the look on your face. “Sorry princess.”

[writing-with-melon]

Okay but what kind of life has Dr Doofenshmirtz been living that has so many platypuses out in the wild that seeing them wouldn’t automatically make him think it’s Perry.

[cyberthot666]

I once hooked up with a 23 year old that had a whole ass bald spot. not thinning, no receding, I mean the mf looked bout damn 45 bc that shit was gone. and he had fried all his brain cells from coke. never again will I allow myself to achieve such a low.

[aidoxl]

Matoba drag him. Go girl go. He's rich he has no excuse

☎️ i love natori's depressing ass apartment...