#but he also does good things like helping Mae after the death of her entire family and keeps Osha safe and loved after she killed Sol

[mylastmoleculeofserotonin]

Kill the notion that Star Wars needs to step away from force users. I don’t know about you, but I love to see space wizards fight with glowy swords. The only thing that needs to change is the good/evil dichotomy of the Light and Dark sides of the Force. Give us a show about a Padawan who tries her hardest to be a great Jedi so she buries her emotions so deep within herself that she loses herself and becomes complacent with Jedi/Senate corruption and turns to the dark side to reconnect with herself and rediscover what made her want to be a Jedi in the first place. Give us the story about a child who’s sibling is taken by the Jedi so they ally with a Sith to break into the Jedi Temple and rescue their sibling. Give us a movie about a Dark Lady of the Sith and her apprentice defending their home planet from being absorbed into a sector of the Republic where their historical oppressors would hold their seat in the Senate.

All those stories could feature epic clashes between Force Wielders without contributing to the perceived stagnation of Star Wars shows featuring Jedi and Sith.

[herearedragons]

prompt "🎄 there ain’t language for the things i feel" for anyone!

Thanks for the prompt!! feeling normal about this one!! as you can probably tell by the word count!!

Lord Huron lyric prompts

content warnings: Devil-typical stuff (murder, references to past abuse, robot body dysphoria)

spoiler warnings: spoilers for Devil's entire storyline and for the end of The White March Part 2

it's also on AO3 because I've put way too much work into this

there ain’t language for the things I feel (Devil of Caroc x The Watcher, 2964 words)

The Devil of Caroc feels nothing.

Not the floor under her feet. Not the cold mountain air. Not the grip of a knife in her fingers.

She's had to relearn how to move, how to do everything that requires you to know where your body is. It was kinda funny, the look on Galvino's face when his precious "creation" couldn't take a single step forward.

Those first days, part of her wondered if she should just stay that way, a useless heap of metal on the floor that won't move no matter how much you kick or curse at it; maybe then the old madman would deem his experiment a failure and let her rest.

But Galvino didn't take her apart, and, after a few days of sullen motionless defiance, Devil got bored.

The learning was slow, but she had nothing else to occupy herself with, and by the end of the week she was walking. Things would still slip out of her hands when she tried to pick them up, but eventually she had that figured out too.

But while she got the ability to move back — got good at it, even; learned how to be quick and quiet with the mess of metal that her new body was — everything else was gone.

She took to fiddling with her hands just to see them move, tapping her fingers against her own armored plates just to remind herself there's something there at all; carving shit into Galvino's walls and the occasional tree just to see she'd left a mark there, some kind of proof she still exists in the world.

It didn't help much.

Years later, in her dreams she's still folk, and can feel and smell and hurt, and oftentimes the things she dreams feel realer than anything that happens in her waking hours.

She dreams about her home sometimes: about soft rabbit-pelt blankets and the smell of food cooking over a fire, the voices of her folks and her brothers and sister coming from the other room.

More often than that, she dreams about killing.

Sometimes it's the killing she's already done; sometimes it's the killing she still needs to do.

She dreams about Harmke a lot. When she kills him in her dreams, he screams and writhes and gurgles as his flesh splits open under her blade, and she feels his warm blood on her hands.

It doesn't play out like that, when it really happens.

Oh, he screams alright; he makes all the same noises everyone else does, and he bleeds, and he rasps out a last breath, and then he goes still.

And Devil feels nothing.

Nothing.

Not even a tiny bit of what she's felt in her dreams.

And really, she should've known, there's nothing different between that death and all the others she's caused since she woke up inside of this metal thing, but it's —

It's —

It's been the one thing that kept her going, and now it's gone.

And she got nothing from it.

*

The Watcher's got eyes like golden coins, a tongue sharper than her teeth and a real knack for striking fear into folks two, three, four times her size.

Devil likes her.

She's liked her from the moment she punched Galvino in the stomach and skewered his neck on her blade as he doubled over.

It was clean, fast, precise. Like clockwork. Like a trap closing.

And then she told Devil she did it to read his soul as he died; to get the answers he wouldn't give her when he was still living. To learn how to keep Devil from rusting.

It takes her some time to figure out why the Watcher cares so much.

(Mae, just call me Mae, she says and rolls her eyes like she’s had to repeat that more times than she cares to remember)

Eventually Devil pieces together that Mae’s family's had a history with slavery, and Galvino's bold-faced attempt to sell Devil to her rubbed her wrong enough to kill him for it, and try to see his wrongs made right.

Funny thing is, Mae doesn’t care about the murders much. Seems her family doesn’t have a history with that.

She doesn’t hesitate a second before agreeing to help her track down Harmke.

“It’s only fair,” she says.

Things being fair is important to her. It’s the Goldpact Knight way, never leaving a debt unsettled.

So Mae helps Devil do her killing, and in return, Devil promises to help with hers.

It’s only fair. 

Besides, she doesn’t mind Mae half as much as the rest of them, and she’s the only one who can do Devil’s repairs now.

“That’s temporary,” Mae tells her. “You’ll learn to do it yourself, and then you won’t depend on me or anyone else.”

She says it with the same zeal that Pallegina, the feathered girl, has when she talks about her Republics. Devil reckons that might be the way all paladins talk.

By then, it’s after Harmke, after the Battery, and she’s resigned herself to the fact that it’s just going to be like this, forever. 

But when Mae looks straight at her with those gold-coin eyes — and she’s got this way of looking that makes Devil feel like she’s really looking at her, seeing something past Galvino’s work that even Devil herself can’t find — and says you won’t depend on anyone else, it almost feels like an oath; a promise that there’s something waiting for her still.

*

There’s a new dream comes to take the place of the one where she kills Harmke.

In this one, Mae runs a hand through her hair, and then Devil pulls her closer and kisses her. Mae’s warm in her arms, her hand rough with a swordswoman’s calluses against her cheek, and Devil cuts her tongue on one of her fangs and tastes blood.

It feels just as real as the other dreams.

And then she wakes up, a bronze corpse with a mask for a face, and she feels nothing, nothing, nothing.

She should’ve seen this coming. They’ve been trading looks and words for a while now; hard to remember who started it, or when it turned from just figuring each other out to something different.

Mae makes her laugh. She’s got this hardass conviction that lets her stare down a club-swinging ogre and say let’s talk, a worse obsession with words and numbers than Galvino had, and a real short fuse for people wasting her time. 

She’s clever, she’s got a way with words, and she’s a beauty to watch in a fight.

Devil would say that’s just how she likes ‘em, but truth is, it’s been so long since she’s liked anyone that she doesn’t really remember.

She just knows she likes Mae. And sometimes, Mae looks at her like she knows, like she thinks about it too.

They’ll never have what Devil's dreams are showing her, though.

Sometimes that gnaws at her so badly that she needs to find something or someone to break, just to get it to stop.

Other times, she’s glad for it.

Part of her was worried she’d grow aimless after Harmke’s death didn’t bring anything she’d hoped for. She couldn’t for the life of her guess that she could still want things other than killing; that she could dream about something that hasn’t got anything to do with Cold Morn.

It’s a part of her that could’ve died in the fires or in Galvino’s cursed machine, and now she knows that it didn’t. That, on its own, is probably worth something.

That, and the way Mae smiles at her sometimes.

*

Mae frowns, tracing the dent in her chest plate with gloved fingers.

Devil doesn't feel it, of course.

"Try to lift your arm?"

Devil does as asked, lifting her right arm until it gets stuck halfway and doesn't go any further.

"...Alright, put it back down."

She does.

"I think we'd have to open you up and look," Mae says. "And I don't want to do it out here in the snow."

She glances over her shoulder, at the rest of their party taking a second to recover while they try to figure out Devil's situation. Turns out, taking a maegfolc's club straight to the chest is a bad idea even if you're made of bronze; go figure.

The rest of them are doing alright, already patched up by Hiravias' and Mae's joined efforts; Mae herself still has blood in her hair from a cut that just closed up.

Funny thing about flesh: easier to hurt, but sometimes easier to fix, too.

Mae looks back at Devil, and says:

"I think you should fall back. The Eyeless will be going after our reinforcements; you should have a clean shot through."

She's right about that. Even with some of her gears stuck or whatever the Hel happened in there, getting back to the edge of the crater won't be a problem if Devil goes alone.

Except, Mae's hand shakes a little as it withdraws from her chest, and there are dark circles under her eyes, her right eye bloodshot.

She's keeping it together, but she's not well. These god-visions have been pushing her to the limit.

"Sure you won't need me in there?" Devil asks. "Could be trapped. Who'll be disarming that, Kana?"

Mae shakes her head:

"We'll manage."

That's that, then. She won't budge.

Devil shrugs; something screeches and grinds inside of her as she does.

"Fine," she says. "It's your funeral."

"Fine by me as long as it's not yours," Mae parries.

Devil rolls her eyes.

Goddamn paladins.

“Don’t go dying in there,” she tells her.

Mae just grins, all stripes and golden eyes and sharp teeth, and offers her a hand up.

Then, the rest of them go down into the cave, and Devil goes in the opposite direction.

She weaves her way between ogres and Eyeless and Bleak Walkers beating the shit out of each other, unnoticed; they’re all so caught up in the skirmish that she barely needs to hide.

She finds a safe-looking nook near the edge of the crater with a good view of the battlefield, climbs in, and waits.

*

She must have dozed off at some point, because the rumbling startles her awake.

It's in the ground and in the rocks around her, and her first instinct is to get the Hel out of her hiding spot before she gets crushed. Once she does, she gets a better idea of what's happening: the tremors aren't happening near her, they're coming from the lake.

When she sees the ice begin to crack, she knows something's happening down there, where the rest of them are.

Where Mae is.

Devil takes off running.

*

She makes it to the water just in time to see them pour out of the cave mouth. Something in her body is making a clicking noise that wasn't happening before, and it's getting on her nerves.

As they scramble across the ice, she moves along the edge of the water to meet them on solid ground. She's got a bad feeling all of a sudden, she doesn't know why, and it's the kind she hasn't had in over a decade.

They get closer.

Sagani and Itumaak make the leap to safety like it's nothing. Kana nearly loses his balance; Devil catches him with her good arm, then Sagani joins in, and they pull until he tumbles forward. Zahua leaps over with Hiravias under his arm, and then it's —

Edér. It's Edér.

And he always goes last, to make sure everyone else makes it through.

Soon as he regains his balance, Devil steps up to him and grabs him by the collar of his armor.

"Where's Mae?" she asks.

She doesn't like the look Edér gives her.

"I'm sorry," he says.

She tightens her grip, metal grinding against metal.

"You tell me what happened or I get it out of you."

He doesn't flinch, just stares back at her with his mouth set and a weird shine to his eyes.

"She stayed back," he says. "One of us had to. She made us draw lots, and... she pulled the short one."

Then he swallows, takes a deep breath, and repeats:

"I'm sorry."

That's when she realizes he's on the verge of tears.

Devil flinches, releases his collar like she's grabbed something hot or sharp, and turns away, which just forces her to face the rest of them.

Sagani's sitting on the ground, her face buried in Itumaak's fur as she holds him close; Hiravias is dusting himself off, turned away so that none of them can see his good eye; Kana's weeping openly, strangely quiet for a guy his size; and Zahua's just staring out at the cracked ice with a look of wonder, or maybe jealousy.

Their grieving faces close in on her like a torch-bearing mob; wherever she turns, there's one of them, driving her back into the fire.

She feels a scream starting somewhere in the back of her mind — no words, just violence with nowhere to put it.

And then, she's cold.

She's cold, and the ground is hard under her feet, and the wind blowing from the crater whistles through the seams of her body, chilling her core, tugging at the tightly wound wires in her faulty right arm, and her chest aches where she'd taken the blow.

The air smells like pitch and smoke and salt.

Her knees buckle and she collapses, the fight knocked out of her at once; there's nothing she can do but stare at her own twitching hands, still bronze, still wrong, and feel.

For a brief, horrible moment she understands everything Zahua had ever said about pain being beautiful.

Then, something clicks and catches inside of her, and the world goes dark.

*

Devil dreams about home again.

Her face is buried in a rabbit-fur blanket, and she can hear — and smell — a crackling fire nearby.

It's warm.

There's someone sitting on the bed next to her. She pushes the blanket off, sits up to see who it is.

Mae startles, ears flicking up, but quickly relaxes again and smiles at her.

"You woke up," she says. "Thank the gods. I was just about to start worrying I'd messed something up."

Devil doesn't even question it; she doesn't want to.

She reaches for her —

And freezes.

Her arm is bronze, engraved with vine patterns and arcane nonsense, reflecting the light of a fire somewhere to her left.

But she still feels the soft fur and the bedding, and the air smells like wet clothes and healing potions and smoked fish.

Mae takes her outstretched hand in hers, and her hands are warm and rough, just like Devil always dreams them. And, now that Mae's fully turned towards her, she can see the large bruise over almost the entire right side of her face.

Too many things are wrong. Her hands. The smell. Mae's face. Devil's starting to think that —

"How are you feeling?" Mae asks.

— that she's not dreaming this.

"Ain't you dead?" she creaks out.

Mae laughs; there's a tense edge to it.

"I thought I was," she says, and then repeats, her smile fading, "I really thought I was."

Mae looks down — she's still holding her hand — and runs a thumb over the side of Devil's palm.

A shiver goes down her spine.

Mae looks back up, and asks:

"Can you feel this?"

There isn't a single thing Devil can bring herself to say, so she just nods.

Mae exhales and squeezes her hand, bowing her head over it, almost as if in prayer.

"It worked," she whispers.

Devil finally manages to scrape some words together.

She says:

"You did this to me."

Mae shakes her head, looks back up at her.

"Not me," she says. "Abydon. I just asked. It's... a long story, but the gist of it is that I did him a favor, and he said I could ask for one in return. I asked for this."

She lightens her grip on Devil's hand just a little, but she doesn't let go.

Devil stares at her, and tries to understand.

"You... asked for me to feel again?"

Mae shrugs, and gives her a shaky kind of smile Devil hasn't ever seen on her before.

"Well, he said he couldn't make you folk again, and that was his next best offer."

Something strange happens to her.

Her body gets warmer, a strange heat coming from the core in her chest. Things click and turn, and when she tries to speak, just a weird creaking noise comes out.

Devil knows she can't cry, but it feels like she's about to.

She stares down at their hands intertwined on the rabbit fur for a long moment; her ornate bronze, and Mae's small hands that are warm and alive, with faded scars and little tufts of fur on her knuckles.

"Don't know what I done to deserve someone who'd get a wish from a god and waste it on me," she says finally.

Mae squeezes her hand again.

"I just wanted to give you something," she says, her voice shaking as much as her hands are. "I thought I was dying, and I — I didn't want to leave you like that. I wanted my love to be good for something."

"Effigy's eyes, Mae," Devil says. "Come here."

She pulls her into her lap, meeting no resistance, and hugs her.

Mae's warm in her arms, her breathing and heartbeat a long-forgotten rhythm against Devil's chest. She hugs her back, squeezing tightly, and Devil feels it. She feels it.

Devil buries her face in Mae's hair — it's thick and wavy, and warm like the rest of her — and cries without crying.

[classicanalyzer]

The Acolyte - Day Thoughts

"You know, after running through that forest for an extremely long time, I realized something. I don't need to do this anymore. I don't need to kill a Jedi without a weapon. I don't need to keep this deal." Mae Aniesya

This show keeps on being amazing! I hope the team, actors, and actresses get all the acclaim because they all deserve it.

I love Osha and Jecki bonding, especially due to their connection to Master Sol. Despite Osha's insistence on not rejoining the Jedi, when Sol approached her in the episode, the way her tone sounded seems that deep down, she does want to rejoin the Jedi. She still longs for a family to be a part of. We even see Osha slowly regain her connection to the Force. The way Sol tries to help Osha and protects her shows how fatherly Sol is and how his emotional bonds strengthen him rather than weaken him.

We also see more of the HR Jedi slowly becoming the PT Jedi by how they emphasize Mae's use of emotions during her fighting, even looking down on her. We also see their entanglement with politics as they didn't tell the High Council out of fear of a scandal. Vernestra continues to also serve as Sol's polar opposite. However, as I said before, Sol continues to believe in the good in everyone, even in Mae with him believing her love for her sister is stronger than anything else. He's even proven right with Mae deciding her family over her master's plans.

I get a feeling Osha asking Yord to put down Mae if it fails is going to bite her back. Yord is also on the money when he thinks Sol also wants Osha to face her sister.

I know I thought last week about how Mae seems to be going down the path of total evil but it's amazing how she changes my opinion in one episode. Her loyalty is always obvious to Osha, and I love how she realizes Osha's survival, she realizes that she'll do the smart thing. I love it when characters make smart decisions which is something I love in this show. If my theory about Acolytes being agents of the Sith is true, I think Mae's former master might be the sole Acolyte rather than Mae. I say this since it seems like Mae doesn't even know a lot about her master other than her master promised revenge for the death of her sister and family.

Bazil, the first Tynnan on-screen, is one of the cutest SW alien designs I've seen. The combination of beaver and otter attributes makes Bazil so cute to look at.

I really don't think Qimir is Mae's former master now. I think my next guess could be Mother Koril. It would also add a lot of irony to Mae thinking her family is dead. The person she was serving not only was one of her mothers but was responsible for those chain of tragic events

The chills I felt when it was revealed that Kelnacca was already killed and Mae realized that her master was there. It suddenly gives Yord's comment on the ship about Kelnacca not responding to their warning transmission a darker context.

I'm also not going to lie when Mae's former master appeared, I thought they were going to kill Osha and Mae was going to be our new main protagonist. I'm hoping we at least get to see the two properly interact before one of them dies. The way her master appeared descending is just haunting.

Despite this episode being under 30 minutes, with all the plot, character interactions, and revelations, it felt like 40-45 minutes. This show truly is the definition of all killer and no filler.

Also, it would be a missed opportunity if the next episode isn't called Night.

We shall see what Mae's former master is truly made of against an entire Jedi strike force next week.

[kylermalloy]

Was Maes Hughes a good man? Was he a bad man?

Consider the evidence we have.........

Loaded question! I feel like the obvious answer is “yes!” because who doesn’t like Hughes? Who isn’t gutted by his death? Who doesn’t get sad thinking about his daughter growing up without the father who loved her so much?

But we also have to consider that Hughes canonically took part in the Ishval extermination—in other words, war crimes. The man’s a war criminal and a murderer. Even in the 03 version, where he states he took a desk job rather than participate in the massacre, he knew about the killings and did nothing to stop them. Complicity.

So then our answer should be “no,” because he Does Bad Things in canon. And—so does Roy Mustang. So does Riza Hawkeye, and every state alchemist and almost every enlisted soldier at the time of the war. They’re all part of a machine that steps on people. Slaughters then mercilessly when it’s deemed necessary. And anyone who follows those orders without question is, by definition, a bad person.

I’m not breaking new ground by saying this, and I’m far from the first to talk about the Amestrian military being almost entirely comprised of war criminals. But honestly? Whether or not someone is a “good” person is…such a boring question to me. The far more intriguing question is “Is Maes Hughes a good character?” And the answer to that is yes.

He’s a good character because he haunts the narrative. Because his death causes more ripples than his life. Because his friendship to one man helped cause the downfall of the regime he served, the regime that made him culpable in a genocide.

He’s a good character because, in the Conqueror of Shamballa movie, he makes us as viewers uncomfortable because he’s a Nazi. He’s complicit in that system of oppression as well, one that we’re far more familiar with. It might make viewers angry, make them decry the movie as bad because “ugh not my boy Hughes he would never!” Uh…he did. In his world, he did. In fact, in CoS, he is better than his Amestrian counterpart, because he denounces and leaves the party before they do anything more than shoot up a beer hall. Not a completely bad person, after all, so it seems.

[multifandomwritings]

How the slashers would react to their S/O painting their nails

So sorry again for how slow I am these days! I promise I’m not ignoring anyone or haven’t forgotten! (also my confidence in my writing has once again plummeted so aslfkdj) I hope you all like this ^^ (if anyone has any character suggestions lemme know! Like horror characters and slashers. However if I end up adding more I might have to start splitting these up a bit!) 

Thomas:

- Thomas might be hesitant at first, but the second you took his burly hand into your own, he'd melt

- You would get complete creative control — he wouldn't mind what colors you chose, and any worries of being teased by his family would disappear as he watched how eager you were 

- Seeing you so fixated on his hands would make him blush beneath his mask, though he would appreciate the opportunity to freely stare at you as you worked

- He'd smile to himself every time he looked at them, and would happily let you do it again (No one, even Hoyt, dares to tease him about anything relating to you after a certain point, knowing it’s off limits! So he’ll happily show them off. Luda Mae thinks it’s precious, but is also kind of salty that you haven’t offered to do hers lol)

Brahms:

- Brahms would take any affection and attention he could get, so the second you even suggested it he'd just sit down and put his hands out for you

- You wouldn't be able to stop smiling at how seriously he took it. He'd have a surprisingly good eye for color combinations, handing you the colors he liked and making you blush with how he focused on you

- He'd want to polish yours too: matching colors, of course (when you noticed this, you'd smile even wider, which would not go unnoticed by Brahms, who would smile in self satisfaction)

- This would probably become a regular thing. He’d adore anything like that, that made him feel close to you. Of course you have to match though! Or at the very least, coordinate 👉👈

Michael:

- Michael wouldn't really know how to react to you asking about it, to be honest. He wouldn't really mind, he'd just be kind of iffy about it

- It would probably take him a while to warm up to this (or pretty much anything) but he ~might~ allow it, since it's you

- If you reach for anything pastel or colorful he'd just take your hand to stop you and shake his head, causing you to have to hold back a laugh

- He wouldn't admit it, but he'd actually like how it looked. He'd forget about it, and would think of you every time he noticed them. He isn't really soft but he would be for you

Jason:

- You’d be going through your nail polishes when you’d gesture for him to come over and sit, offering to paint his nails

- He agrees of course! Like he’s gonna refuse anything you wanna do for him like that!...Although you’ll have to excuse his slightly crusty hands

- He always admires your own nail polish, thinking the colors are so pretty and cute. If you offer to let him pick out the colors he’ll just shake his head, knowing you’ll choose something nice 

You, reaching your hand to hold his while you polish: Okay, gimme your hand

Him, ~misunderstanding~: *takes your hand as if to hold it* 

You: 🥺🥺🥺

(A bonus thought that you might disagree with: if you’d been in a relationship with Jason for a while, he’d begin to pick up on his own cuteness. Or at least, what you think is cute. And he’d take advantage of it, if only to make you smile. Also, he secretly loves the effect he has on you alsdkfj) 

Bubba:

- Bubba would love this. He'd carefully watch and learn, already planning on doing yours too

- If you hold his hand while you do it his stomach would be full of butterflies, cheeks all pink beneath his mask. He adores when you’re soft with him like that

- He'd probably chip them up really quickly, to his own dismay. When he would notice, he'd want them done again asap, as they'd remind him of you

- You would melt when he did yours. He hold your hand close to his face, focusing intently and going slowly to make sure it was perfect

Chop Top:

- It would probably be his idea to be honest. He'd see you doing your nails and would excitedly pester you about it until you did his, too

- You end up getting ~playfully~ annoyed, as he'd keep pulling his hands away to look and would keep changing his mind on what colors to use

- Eventually you just snatch his hand and hold it still so you can finish. He'd stop whatever he was saying with a nervous laugh, getting surprisingly flustered at you being like that with him 

- He'd be another that would paint yours, too, trying his best to pick colors that would suit you. He'd adore his, and would want to impress you by doing his best!

Nubbins:

- Nubbins would see you doing your own nails and wouldn’t even give you the opportunity to offer to do his. He’d just pick up a random color and would start doing it himself (badly)

- You don’t really notice at first but after a while you glance up and chuckle at what a sloppy job he’s done, prompting him to smile at you so sweetly that you don’t even say anything about it

- Instead, you just gesture for him to hand it over, which he happily does. You can’t help but smile at how delicately he drapes his hands into your own, allowing you to fix his mistakes and finish it 

- Once you’re done he’ll continue holding your hand, too. Good luck getting unlatched for a bit. Nubbins will use any excuse he can to be close to you (tbh he doesn’t need an excuse but if he has one he’ll use it) 

Beetlejuice:

- Beetlejuice would probably tease you for suggesting it, despite the fact that he'd be choosing his colors as he did 

- Spooky colors only, of course! Neon purple, black, green, things like that. He'd love it, tbh

- He'd be flirting with you the entire time, enjoying the close proximity as he could watch your face flush as he spoke

- Despite his teasing, he'd actually enjoy things like that a lot. He'd love that you wanted to do things like that for him, feeling all special and cared for

Candyman:

- Daniel would probably seem a little indifferent to it at first, although he would enjoy seeing you dote over him like that

- He'd smile to himself as he watched you carefully pick colors, refraining from suggesting anything because he'd want to see what you thought would suit him

- He makes you melt the whole time, his hand gently draped over yours as you try to ignore his intense gaze, gnawing at your lip all the while

- He would unintentionally show them off *a lot*, showing off his hand way more than he normally would. You'd have to hold back smiles as you noticed, finding it so sweet

Bo:

- Sort of like Beetlejuice in that he'd tease you and act playfully annoyed like, "You want to paint my nails? Pfft, I don't know..." (he says, while sitting down and stretching his hands across the table for you) 

- Isn't really paying attention (or so he'd have you think), just looking around or closing his eyes while you polished away, occasionally glancing over to see what you were up to when he thought you weren't looking

- If Bo liked you, he'd pretty much go with anything tbh. You could paint his nails the softest, brightest colors and he wouldn't even really have the heart to gripe about it, seeing you all smiley over it 

- Will be all smiley himself anytime he looks at them, but if someone else notices (besides you) he'll shoot them a death glare

Vincent:

- You wanna paint his nails? Okay! He has no hesitation whatsoever and will ask no questions — if you want to, you can 

- You’re so cute to him and he loves your attention, anything you want to do like that he’ll allow. If you want to do his nails, brush/play with his hair, or anything like that, you can! In fact, please do 🥺

- Will be smiling the whole time behind his mask, happily suggesting colors if you ask. He’ll end up with cute and sparkly rainbow nails because you both keep finding different colors you like

- He would do yours, too. All the colors you couldn’t fit on his hands will go on yours! You both have equally colorful nails that will be teased by Bo and Lester, who are both secretly envious of Vincent (plz do their nails too)

Lester:

- When you asked if you could polish his nails, he'd immediately light up, loving the idea of it but quickly getting shy

- He'd disappear for a second so he could go scrub his hands and make them as clean and pretty as possible for you 

- He'd be kinda nervous?? His eyes would be flickering back and forth between your face and his hands, smiling as he watched you

- Little things like this would make his heart flutter endlessly, and he'd try so hard to keep them all tidy and unchipped. (This would result in him being ridiculously delicate with everything he touched) He'd love them no matter what colors you chose!

Graverobber:

- Graverobber has some clammy, crusty hands, (I mean, he hangs out in dumpsters) so beware. Still, if you offer to paint his nails, he’ll just lazily offer up his hands without a second thought

- Watches you the whole time with a satisfied smile. Anytime you glance up and catch him, he’ll give you a look that somehow manages to be both sheepish and smug, wiggling his eyebrow to make you laugh

- He'd smile every time he looked at them, thinking of you. You’d match them to the streaks in his hair which makes him just :o !! Will show them off a lot too

- He'd wear them until they were completely chipped up (which wouldn’t take long), patiently hoping you'd offer to do them again

Luigi:

- Luigi would initially agree with no complaints, but chances are you’ll only get a few nails done before he gets impatient 

- He feels kind of bad about it later, though, seeing them unfinished and smiling a bit as they reminded him of you. If he’s in a grouchy mood he’ll ease up right away when he sees them

- He’ll let you finish later, though not without some amount of awkwardness, as he’d be embarrassed to bring it back up 

- Of course, you’re happy to do it though! You snatch his hands right up and get to work, choosing colors such as black, red and white. He’d smile the whole time he watched you. His expression would change freakishly fast if someone interrupted, though

Pavi:

- He probably paints his nails anyways, but he’d always be happy to be doted over by you, so of course he’ll accept your offer!

- If you offer while he’s already wearing nail polish he’ll quickly run off and remove it so you won’t change your mind 

- Compliments you the whole time, even if you’re just messing around. You end up giggling the whole time at how extra he is, calling you an artist and talented and actually making you blush quite a bit with how sincere he was about it

- Shows his nails off endlessly, staring at them constantly and making it a point to be as showy with his hands as possible. The moment they chip he’ll be so over-the-top dramatic, only feeling better once you’ve redone them (you will forever be Pavi’s manicurist from then on, sigh) 

Billy Lenz:

- Probably confused by it, but he'd be happy to give it a try. He'd watch you intently the entire time, saying very little

- ...Which would result in you getting nervous, low-key trying to rush through it and accidentally messing one or two up (Cue Billy looking at you like smh, Y/N, smh...)

- He’s only messing though, he genuinely couldn’t care less about it really. You could be painting his whole finger and he doesn’t even mind because he’s more focused on you and the fact that you’re doing something like that for him

- He is unused to being treated like this so he never really knows how to react. Any kind of looking after will always be met with some amount of nervousness, though he adores it. Will retreat to the attic afterwards and just stare at his nails like 🥺 (Even the messy ones! Especially the messy ones tbh)

Asa Emory (The Collector):

- He'd agree to you doing his nails so quickly that you'd actually be shocked, not expecting compliance at all. He'd offer up his hands so willingly that your jaw would almost hit the floor

- Nothing flashy! He just wants tidy, pretty nails. He's very sure about what he wants, which would almost make you laugh, as he'd be quite assertive about it

- Needless to say, he'd stare at you intently the whole time, lips twisted into a small but wicked smile as he noticed your cheeks flushing and eyes refusing to meet his

- He'll do yours too, of course. You have to bite your lip the whole time to keep yourself from smiling because he’s so meticulous. He’ll carefully choose a color, eyeing you for approval before pulling your hand close to his face, seriously and slowly polishing each nail 

Otis Driftwood:

- Otis will absent-mindedly swat your hand away when you try to do his nails. However, when he glanced over to see you frowning at his grouchiness, he’ll feel bad and will just roll his eyes as he gives up his hands

- Will complain the whole time though. It smells! It’s cold! Stop squeezing my hand! (Tbh he loves these kinds of gestures, but he’s guarded, to put it simply, so he doesn’t know how to deal with it. So, he’ll gripe, all while staring at you lovingly when you aren’t looking)  

- You end up using simple colors such as black and white, and he would end up liking it much better than he thought he would. In fact, he’d want you to do it again in the future, but would be too embarrassed about his complaining to ask

- You’re going to have to give the whole family manicures now too though, especially Baby (honestly probably pedicures too? They’d get greedy lol) 

[levis-coffeecup]

Chapter 12 | Broken Tea Cups

WC-4.2 k

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language.

Author's note:

Hey guys, this chapter might be slightly triggering for a few people, so do check out the content warnings for this fic before reading. Also this chapter takes place 2 weeks after the last chapter. (Which means three weeks of Levi being distant towards Mae, and the marriage proposal being offered.)

Song for this chapter is a hindi song (because my inner desi, suddenly came out.) But I highly recommend you check it out. I think it fits the situation perfectly, and the video I'm linking has the translated lyrics.

Agar tum saath ho - Tamasha

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

JUL 846

The smell of tea wafts around the medical ward. It smells great and Mae can’t help but be reminded of Levi, as she brings the cup in her hand closer to her mouth.

She sips in the little beverage remaining in her cup. The warm liquid seeps into her throat. It tastes even better than it smells. Perfectly sweet, perfectly strong… exactly the way she likes it.

Petra sits in front of her. Watching the sunset through the window, that beautifully shades the sky in pinks and violets.

The mission is approaching in 3 weeks, and a few things in the Survey Corps have already become a little tense. Higher officials are busy, attending meeting after meeting, and training the squads for the challenges ahead.

Mae places her emptied cup on the tray and then she asks “How is the preparation for the mission going in Petra?”

“We are training very hard, working hard to the bone,” Captain Levi is training them to death these days, but Petra avoids saying anything Captain-related in front of Mae. Because she knows it hurts Mae in some way.

She doesn’t understand what’s happening between the two of them. On one hand, Mae is visibly upset. Always cooped up in the medical room, reading books related to medicine, or taking tips from the other doctors.

And Captain has made himself so busy. He takes extra training sessions for other cadets, attends every meeting even if he is not called for. Does extra chores around the headquarters. And the paperwork he would tell Eld to do, is all done by him, these days.

As it is, the job of a captain has a million other tasks. And Petra doesn’t know how he is handling all this extra stuff all by himself. She hardly sees him around, unless it’s for the squad practice. Or for the times he calls her into his office.

And in between all of that, comes Ivan with his marriage proposal.

The entire squad is agonizing over where this story is headed. And right now the end doesn’t seem good in any way.

“I’m a little nervous, but I think we’ll be just fine. We are preparing well.” Petra speaks about the mission again. And Mae hums as she looks up at Petra thoughtfully.

Ever since the day Levi lashed out at her in the hallways, Petra has come to meet her, regularly.

The first time was the same night when they were all cleaning the hallways. She told her that Levi didn’t mean all those words he said that day. He was really mad about something else, and Mae shouldn’t be upset about it.

The gesture was heartwarming. And Petra even made her some tea to cheer her up.

Now Petra talks about her days mostly, and then sometimes she would flip the tables and ask Mae about how she's doing.

The sound of the door creaking open pierces through and both their heads swivel towards it. Ivan walks in and flashes Petra an awkward smile.

He’s working here as a nurse for a month. And Petra often finds him and Mae together. Solemnly, she finishes her tea, places it on the tray, and gets up. “I’ll take my leave.”

Mae nods and just as Petra’s about to step out, she speaks up. “You make really great tea, Petra… it reminds me of someone.”

“Thanks,'' Petra chirps out as she turns around. Her gaze flickers from Mae to Ivan. And then she steps back outside with a sigh. It reminds you of Captain because it is made by Captain.

She closes the door and leans back on it to catch her breath.

A few seconds pass by and then Levi is in front of her, staring at her with that intense glare of his. He looks the same, deep eye bags, intimidating eyes, and a permanent frown. “Did you ask her the questions I told you?”

“Yes Captain,” she drones out,” give me a break, let’s at least walk away from the door.”

Levi doesn’t respond, but he moves forwards and halts at a turn a few meters away. And then he looks at her again, tapping his foot and giving her the impatient look as he waits for the answer.

“She is confused, Captain. She doesn’t know if she’s ready for it. But she thinks well of Ivan. She considers him a friend now.”

“Oh…” There is a hint of dejection in his tone.” Ivan is shifting in 2 weeks, right? So has she made her final decision? Are they planning to get married before they shift to Mitras?”

Petra sighs, defeated. What goes on in Captain’s head is something she will never be able to comprehend.

Firstly, he sends her here and asks her to check up on Mae. He tells her to tell Mae that he was angry at something else, and he didn’t mean those words that day, one bit.  And he also brews the tea and asks her to hand it to Mae and ensure that she’s doing alright.

When it’s pretty clear that all Mae wants is him, and his company.

And then he asks about the marriage instead of intervening and doing something about it, when its fucking obvious that she likes him as well. And then instead of talking to Mae directly, he makes a spy of her and ask her to get all the details from Mae.

Levi can see the questions floating in Petra’s mind, and he throws her a stern look, so she doesn’t voice them out.

A faint sound of the door opening catches Levi’s attention. And by the volume, he knows it’s the door of the medical ward. He moves into the turn and leans against the wall, so Ivan and Mae can’t see him as they walk out of the door.

His eyeballs move from one corner to another, gesturing to Petra to leave. And as usual she follows her Captain’s orders without any questions and walks away.

Levi peeks through the turn and sees Mae and Ivan stepping out of the room they were in.

Ivan blabbers about some leg operation to Mae and Levi’s gaze hardens as he stares at him.

His baby blue eyes are bright. His tone is always soft and polite. His blonde hair looks golden in the sunlight. And he’s tall. 5 foot 9 at least.

Insecurity floods Levi’s mind and he clenches his jaw. Then his gaze lands on Mae, and pride fills his chest.

Her eyes… they glow differently when she is with him.

And he can’t help but smile internally at the sight. He hates seeing her with someone else. The thought itself makes him want to rip himself to shreds.

But Ivan is an accomplished doctor living in Sina, and he’s a soldier who could die anytime. Ivan works in a big hospital and earns much more than the cut Levi gets from the Survey Corps budget.

And Ivan is much brighter than Levi, not tormented with thoughts of the uncertain future. Or burdened with the responsibility to annihilate the titans.

And Levi has seen Mae through her worst. He has seen her starving because she wanted to save money for her parents. He has seen her tormented with the anxiety of an unstable future. And he has seen her cry to the extent that she ends up vomiting.

And he wants her happy, living in the safest spot in the walls. He wants her to have enough money, to never face a financial crisis again. He wants her to have a family and never be lonely again.

And he can’t give her any of that.

Ivan’s a nice person. Levi can tell by how passionately he speaks about his work. And that makes it even harder to hate him. And even though Mae probably can't see that right now. Levi knows that their marriage will be for the best.

The pair gets closer to the spot where he hides, and Levi flattens his back against the wall and toys with the knife he always carries with him. Pretending to be busy and occupied.

The distance reduces, and in the fleeting moment where they stand in a line,  he catches her eyeballs shifting as she looks at him from the corner of her eye. And then she turns her head away, facing Ivan again.

Earlier she would smile when his gaze met hers, and then he would scowl and look away. But now she doesn’t smile anymore, she throws him a wistful look and walks away.

And even though it has made his task of ignoring her a little easier. He still feels a little hurt by her actions.

Then Ivan says something and she chuckles.

She laughs way harder, at the poop jokes he cracks.

Levi sighs. And a heaviness spreads through his heart, as he sees them take another turn and disappear from his sight.

Oh, how he wishes he was there with her instead. How he wishes he can hear her chatter about the events in her day again.

He wants to see her smile, and he wants to be the reason behind it.

But he can’t. Because if Mae does get married to Ivan, she'd be living the best life one could ask for in the walls. And as long as his mind knows that, he'll learn to silence the yearning in his heart.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The mess hall is loud as always during lunch break. The energy levels are high as everyone relishes the much-awaited break. And fill their hungry stomach after the exhausting morning practice.

The medical department sits at the corner most table. Today they make the most noise of them all.

“OH MY GOD!… You guys are getting married? I would have never guessed that you guys were into each other.” Anya exclaims loudly.

The table bursts into chatter at the statement. Teasing and prodding at the couple whose engagement has somehow just been revealed.

Ivan and Mae are flustered, to say the least. A visible pink dusts both of their cheeks, as they awkwardly look around. Avoiding each other’s gaze.

Hundreds of questions are bombarded their way. Where did you guys first meet? How did Ivan propose? For how long have you been together? Their colleagues want to know every small detail.

Mae cowers under all the attention. Her life isn’t as interesting as these people think it is. And their story isn’t as romantic as people are expecting it to be.

She doesn’t know what to say.

The questions thrown around are never ending. Ivan answers them with the nod of his head, and the occasional stutters that he forces out of his mouth.

And Mae’s eyes fall down, gaze locked onto the glimmering silver ring on her ring finger. Ivan gave it to her yesterday, and this whole mess could have been avoided if she hadn’t worn it.

She slides it off her finger and keeps it in her pocket. And her fingers are welcomed in by the soft, warm fabric that lays in there as well.

It's Levi’s handkerchief, the one he draped over her knee the night the thugs attacked them. And she never gave it back to him, because to her it was a sign of his limitless compassion. The compassion that has been her guiding light through her darkest times. It’s something that will stay with her for the rest of her life.

And it's something she’ll never forget, no matter how mean Levi gets.

At the other end of the hall, Levi sits annoyed at all the noise the medical department is making today. And Hange sits beside him, looking at him with concern etched on their face.

The mess hall is loud, and all the noise blurs in. But with his sharp senses, he can hear everything they say out loud.

“You guys actually look good together.”

“Look at how she’s blushing; she's almost entirely red.”

“It’s so cute…he’s blushing as well!”

A selfish part of him and he wants to be the only person who can fluster her that way. He wants to be the only person she looks good with.

His teeth clench. And his fingers hold on to his teacup, but the drink is long forgotten. His jaw ticks, and unknowingly he is throwing daggers with his glare at the couple.

Someone even says her name with Ivan’s surname just to see how that sounds. Tch, what a pain in the ass.

“Levi, you’re staring,” Hange speaks, but he remains unaffected by their words, as all his focus remains trained on the table where Mae sits on.

The table is bustling louder than ever. People are giggling and teasing. Ivan scratches the back of his neck as he speaks and Mae sits a little too silent for her usual self.

“Oi Ivan, sit a little closer to her. Is this how you treat your future wife?’ someone cackles.

“Yeah, you guys! Where is the chemistry?” Someone teasingly exaggerates.

Mae’s head turns towards Ivan, eyes wide as she inhales sharply.  He isn’t looking at her, but at all the people who look at him with anticipation.  A moment of silence hovers and then awkwardly he hums at the statement.

Levi’s grip on his teacup tightens, and Hange notices how tense he looks.

Ivan shifts a little closer to Mae and she swallows thickly. He throws his arm around her waist and pulls her in.

She looks down a little uncomfortable at the gesture.

She’s being petty, it’s not like he’s kissing her. He just has an arm around her waist. So is she even allowed to complain and feel any discomfort?

Levi’s eyes narrow at the sight. Mae and Ivan are sitting close, their side bodies are snugged together. And he can’t take his eyes off the hand that rests on her waist.

“Calm down Levi,” Hange keeps their hand on his upper arm.

But his body is stiff and their statement garners no response. His grip on his teacup tightens, fingers pressing into the concrete rim of the cup. The veins in his hands popping up now.

Ivan looks over to Mae, to see her reaction. But she looks down at her knees. She can feel his breath hit the side of her forehead, and she turns her head to the other side.

Her hand clutches onto Levi’s handkerchief, holding it in a tight grip.

And even though it's pathetic, that her heart is still stuck on the man who hardly pays her any heed. She knows that if Levi was here beside her instead, she would be fine. If Levi was here, touching her instead, she would be fine.

A loud sound pierces through the air.

Everyone turns around at the sound, and their eyes land on the captain. Porcelain pieces prick into his fingers. And a red gash is painted across his palm. The teacup in his hands is broken and the beverage falls and flows down the table. His blood dribbles down, mixing with the fallen tea.

“Tch” Levi gets up, annoyed at the mess he has created. His fingers are still bleeding, and the tea is dripping down from the table on the floor. He rolls his eyes and walks out of the hall.

Mae stands up to get a better view of what just happened. And her eyes widen as she watches the dark red that stands against the pinewood table.

The cleaners arrive at the situation and start wiping the mess on the table. And everyone goes back to their work as things go back to normal.

But her eyes don’t move from the blood that is splattered over Levi’s table. And her thoughts don’t shift from the empty spot, where Levi sat a few moments ago.

Levi has been absent in her life for more than a month. But he’s stuck in her mind, and for the life of her, she can’t get him out of it.

Hange waves at her, calling her towards them.  Ivan asks her to sit down, and the cleaners have almost wiped the spilled tea.

But every cell in her body gravitates towards Levi and his well-being.

Because Levi was the one who lit up her days when she had no one. And Levi was the one who sat with her when she was nothing but a miserable person to be around. He was the one who gave her the will to live.

And if he would go to hell, then she would follow just behind him, just to be with him. Because in the end, he is the person she sees as home.

What she feels for him is more than infatuation and attraction. It’s an undying loyalty and a friendship formed over hours spent both in silence and chatter. A bond that has evolved through two people finding each other as a pillar of strength at their lowest moment.

“Mae, sit down, will you?... Your food is getting cold.” Anya calls out, but Mae doesn’t turn back. Everyone on her table is looking at her with curiosity, but she doesn’t care for any of that.

Her feet move forward with a will of their own. And wordlessly she pushes her chair back and rushes towards Levi’s office.

Her heart pounds in her chest. Its rules over her entire being. And she doesn’t think of how rude he has been these days. She doesn’t see that maybe this time he will push her away as well.

She just sees the person she loves hurting. And caring for him is etched so deep in her bones, that she fears it is something she’ll never be able to unlearn.

The door to Levi’s office is already half-open, and the sight of Levi sitting on his table, with his bleeding handheld in another, instantly makes her rush towards him.

Levi looks up when he hears the loud footsteps that dart towards him. It’s her, with a frantic expression, and her gaze fixed on his wounds.

Her hands reach out, encasing his in both of hers.

There’s an open first aid box, kept right beside him. In an instant, she picks up the bandage roll and brings it towards Levi’s bleeding hand.

Her hands shiver as they tie the cloth around.

And Levi looks at the top of her head, as she focuses on draping his hand.

He can feel the love that emanates from her fingertips, and the warmth with which she touches him. He can feel the heat gathering in his cheeks and the euphoric feeling that settles in his heart after so many days.

A warm feeling curls up in his stomach, at the way she stands close to him. Caressing his wounds, with her tender touches. The sight takes his breath away.

And he knows this is the feeling that authors describe, in the romance novels he reads. This is the feeling that people go crazy over.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?” She looks up at him with those same brown orbs that drive him mad, and comfort him at the same time. He smiles internally,  only she can get so riled up over injuries this small.

Memories of all the times he has spent with her trickle into his mind. The apple pie she made, the nights she spent reading stories to him. And the time she carelessly stayed with him when thugs attacked them.

The feeling creeps up on him blindly, with no warning. Just as his love for her did. One look at her, and every wall that he took years to build shatters down

And his eyes widen as he realizes he’s back at square one.

All this progress he thought he’s made after weeks of ignoring her, has all been flushed in a matter of minutes. All this progress is gone, just by a simple look at her eyes, and her rose tinted cheeks

His jaw clenches and he wonders if this desire in his heart will ever cease.

Anger devours him like a fire does to a wick. He’s failed… It's been a month and a half since he started ignoring her. And he thought he’d made progress, and then she looks up at him with her love-filled eyes, and he’s back to square one.

He steps forward, and his eyes fall down as he glares at her feet.

Mae stumbles backward in response. She can see the way his jaw clenches, and how his fists are balled against his legs and how his body stands, visibly stiffer now.

And Mae can’t see his eyes, but she knows there is resentment in them.

Somewhere, something is hurting him so much that he has made himself busy enough that he doesn’t even have time for himself. Something is hurting him so much that he just keeps withdrawing into himself.

He’s hurting and he’s hurting her along the way, as well.

And she feels like such a failure, because while Levi was there for her at her lowest moments. she doesn’t know how to be here for him.

And it is a goddamn tragedy that she doesn’t know that the hate that is pulsing through Levi’s veins isn’t for her. But for him.

He takes a step forward, and she shifts backward.

“Levi?” Her voice is gentle, endowed with concern. Asking him for what’s wrong.

“Levi?” No response again. The air turns thick, almost suffocating. And her palms start to sweat as she is unable to fathom what’s running through his mind. She keeps moving backward and he keeps stepping forward.

“Lev-” her back hits the wall. And fear grips a part of her. But Levi doesn’t stop, he keeps moving forward until there’s an inch’s distance between them.

Then his hands snake forward and latch onto the collar of her shirt.

For a second she is paralyzed. She doesn’t know the Levi she’s looking at.

His speech would be rough, but his gestures would always be soft.  His senses would be alert, but his body would always be relaxed around her. And in every act of his, she could find some kindness. A good intention at least. Whether it was nagging her to clean her room or buying something from the poor vendor that sat down her lane.

But the Levi in front of her is cold and ruthless. Harsh and insensitive. And she wonders who was the Levi she knew all along? Is he lost somewhere in the anger that storms inside of him.

Or was it all just a pretense?

His gaze is still stuck on the floor, but his grip on Mae’s collar tightens. And her eyes widen as he lifts her off the ground, with her collar tightly held into his fists.

She gasps and her hands slam his arms with as much force that they can muster.

She whimpers, she writhes, she struggles against his grip.

But Levi blocks everything out, every sound, every touch. And all he focuses on is the anger inside of him.

He needs to convince himself that he doesn’t need her love. And he needs to convince her to stop caring for him and move the fuck on with her life.

And there is only one way Levi knows how to do it.

“Don’t you understand it once. I don’t want you near me, so why do you keep coming back when I clearly don’t want you around. Are you that dense?” He yells in her face. He lifts her up higher. And she can only whimper in response. Slap his arms and kick his calves in protest.

Technically her body isn’t in much pain, because her back is resting against the wall. But nothing can counter the pain in her heart.

“But now that I have said it out loud, take your disgusting face away and get out of my lif- “ Something cold falls on his forearm, it slips through the fabric of his shirt and touches his warm skin.

And as he looks up he is met with the sight of her eyes. The same ones that fill his heart with warmth.

But this time they overflow with grief. Brimming with tears, and tinged red with agony.

The warm brown eyes that he loves so much are now filled with fear and horror.

Her mouth is apart, and he can feel her shaky exhale that grazes the top of his head. He can feel her sweaty hands that pinch and slap his wrists for release.

His hand quivers and his eyes widen. Terribly distressed, and laden with regret.  And his resolve shatters like the cup that broke under his fingertips as he notices the pain etched on her face.

Guilt settles in his gut, it almost makes him sick. Immediately he puts her down, and staggers back as a heavy feeling spreads across his chest.

In an instant, she scrambles away from him. Like he is some monster. And he stands frozen, still processing what he has done.

And all that remains now are the pearly teardrops resting on his forearm. Shimmering like a gem in the light of the day.

He raises his hands up and stares at them with revulsion.

Maybe he is a monster.

All his life he has done this. Beaten up people to get what he wanted from them.

His relationship with violence is interesting. He hates it, but he’s a man who can dominate anyone with it.  He’s a man who benefits from it. It is the language he is fluent in.

He hates violence, but he's a man born in it, he's a man who revels in it

And can a man born in violence only end with it?

Author's note:

Okayyy, so huge note below, because there is a lot I have to say here.

Firstly, I'm in no way saying that Levi is an abusive partner. And what he does with Mae is not something he's doing unconsciously in the flow of his anger. He knows what he's doing and he's trying to convince both himself and Mae to let each other go.

Levi has spent 1/4th of his life in the underground. And those are the developing years of your life where your thinking and personality is formed. In season 3 when Kenny said, I taught him (Levi) how to talk to people, Kenny is literally choking a person in the picture. Levi is prone to violence and he doesn't know how to communicate. This is his biggest flaw. (Take historia and levi in the manga for example)

So he;s not the prince charming people paint him out to be. Yes he is very kind and good hearted and emotional, but he still has a LOT of issues.

Levi always has a good reasonable intention. And his intentions here are simple. He wants Mae to have the safest and best life, and he can't give her that.

And also he doesn't want to get hurt, he's afraid of attachments. And you can say that Levi is being an asshole, but would you be ready to get hurt when all your past relationships have left you hurt and miserable. When all your relationships have ended with the other person leaving him or dying?

For Mae, I think a lot of people are going to start hating her from now own, because she isn't the strong, independent woman people like. But she has lost every important person in her life in a day. She has failed to save them, and we mourn so much over one loss. Personally, I can't imagine being all alone in this world, with no one to lean on to after such harsh days. So obviously she is very attached to Levi ( a little more than normal). And we can never imagine the amount of pain she's been through, because we can never be in a situation like hers ( unless we are in the aot world.)

She owes her life to Levi, in a way he's the person who gave the will to live, and which is why to her, he is literally everything ( even if this relationship wasn't romantic.)

Okay! That's all for today. As I said in the earlier note, no one is right or wrong. People are just a product of their circumstances, and everyone does what they think is best for them.

Any feedback, question comment is appreciated. Thank you for reading! I'll see you next Sunday!

Taglist: @keijikunn @evas-leslas

[envythepalmtree]

My thoughts on 03 and CoS

When I started watching 03, I came in with really high expectations. And I loved it!! Especially the first half - I loved the melancholy tone, the way they fleshed out the FMA world. That being said I have Opinions™️ which also includes some criticisms, as usual. Hearing things about 03 out of context definitely colored my expectations and perception of it. This is partly about the writing of 03, but partly about my own experience watching it.

I’ve been meaning to write and post this for about a month, but only got around to it just now, lol. Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it.

What I liked

- The way it took the stuff from the manga and made a completely different story was AMAZING. Far after the storyline diverged, seeing influences from the mangahood storyline and how they were taken in a completely different direction was super cool.

- The tone!! 03 felt much more personal, much more melancholic. We really get to see how traumatic events like the fight with Barry the Chopper effect Edward, and we see that he’s really just a child. A child in the military. I know “03 shows Ed as a child soldier” has been talked about a lot and that aspect of 03 really lived up to what I heard about.

- I loved the fillers!! The adaptations of the bonus comics were delightful to watch and really fleshed out the Mustang squad in a way that Brotherhood didn’t. Roy quoting the Art of War during the Fullmetal vs Flame episode was super cool, ties well with my Xingese Roy headcanons, and I’ll probably write a whole meta on that later.

- Even though I have some beef with the ending, which I’ll get to in a bit, it felt really special to me, personally, to see the characters hopeful and happy even after going through so much loss. I really like the message that sometimes, we do fail. Sometimes, what we’re chasing after is never meant to be ours. But we can learn to get up, and keep going. We can let go of that lost heaven.

What I didn’t

- I heard the line “My sympathy will not be spent on soldiers” out of context. I guess I expected it to be some badass line from Scar about why his anger towards the Amestrian state is valid and not something he needs to apologize for.

- Instead, that line was delivered by Scar right before committing an atrocity - sacrificing a huge number of soldiers for a philosopher’s stone, and placing a huge burden on a 14 year old boy by making Al’s body that stone without his permission. And Scar, after all he’s been through, didn’t get a happy ending. It wasn’t some badass thing, it was painted as tragic. I was really disappointed about where that line ended up and I’ll probably write a whole separate post about the lost potential of that line.

- Ed’s admitting that he has racial bias didn’t live up to my expectations. One of my biggest criticisms of mangahood has been the narrative’s stance towards race: “I think we should ignore race and treat each other as equals!” A common response I got was, “03 doesn’t do that! They actually have Ed admit that he has racial bias!”

- When that scene actually happened, I was thinking, “is that it? Is there more?” And yes, much of that disappointment likely came from me setting way-too-high expectations for the race themes of a shonen anime from 2003. It was such a short moment and didn’t feel as climactic or important as it should have been.

- Roy Mustang. Roy Mustang. The narrative expects us to sympathize with him, to like him, but I found it very hard. In mangahood, Roy’s goal to become Fuhrer and change the country for the better, to help the Ishvalans and make sure that a genocide like that never happens again, is a huge part of the show. In 03, it’s hinted at. Roy talks about becoming Fuhrer in the miniskirt episode, and it’s hinted that he has good intentions and wants to help the Ishvalans. But it’s not considered important.

- And then he completely throws that away.

- Reading things from 03 out of context, I somehow got the impression that Roy was going to quit the military after realizing that he doesn’t want to work within the system anymore. And I was thinking “omg that’s so cool! 03 actually has Roy renounce his ambitions and leave the military, because it’s the best way to help the Ishvalans!”

- Nope. That coup he stages? It’s not out of anger at how the Amestrian state treats its people. It’s not to avenge Ishval. It’s to avenge Maes Hughes, Roy’s friend.

- Having Roy stay in the military, but give up his rank, almost feels like a halfway point between two good ideas: Climbing the ranks to change the country, or leaving because he doesn't want to uphold a corrupt system. Maybe they could've made it work, but I wish they grappled with the implications of that more.

- adklsfaksldfhjks I’m very angry about this and this probably also needs its own post.

- Things in the second half of the show just didn’t feel as fleshed out. In Mangahood we got some time to grapple with the fact that Amestris was created by Father to be sacrificed, to grapple with the implications of that. In 03, that revelation came so close to the end that we just didn’t have time. I was left with so many QUESTIONS about the worldbuilding and parts of the plot, especially after CoS, and they didn’t get answered. I feel like a lot of my problems with 03 would be solved if they added a few episodes. It’d give them time to slow down to add more details, or even just give us an episode or three of Backstory.

all my QUESTIONS:

- Details on Dante and Hohenheim controlling humanity behind the scenes?? They just. tell us that they destroyed entire civilizations like Xerxes.

- Where do Gluttony, Greed, etc come from? If they were created simply to serve Dante, does that mean they were all created after Hohenheim left her?

- Why was Greed imprisoned? Why does he refer to the other homunculi as his sworn enemies?

- Lust is described as the “third Lust.” Who were the other Lusts? Is each sin a position in Dante’s squad, a role that can be filled after the one holding it dies?

- Envy is 300 years old. What the hell were they doing for all that time? Much of their character is based off of resentment of Hohenheim for leaving them and Dante, but that happened extremely recently.

- Hohenheim mentions that alchemy is fueled by people’s deaths in the parallel world?? And it’s NEVER mentioned again??

- How does the portal work? Ed landed in 1910s London, then 1920s Germany. But the times match up in CoS, with the 2 year gap and everything.

- I didn’t understand where the opening flashback about the uranium bomb comes from. It’s implied that it happened in the time gap between Ed joining the military and the Liore arc, but iirc the guy with the bomb came from the other world. How did he get there? How come Ed and Al spend a couple years knowing that a parallel world exists but it’s never brought up?

- How did Ed meet Alfons and get involved in the rocket stuff?

- From one of the guys in the Thule society: “but Hohenheim’s sons are from Shamballa.” HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT?

aklsfhsdj that was long. Stay tuned for some more metas about 03, because your girl has Opinions.

[bts-reveries]

where’s moonji?

the most beautiful moment in life | drabble/oneshot #4

genre: fluff, family

tw: very very very light mentions of death (if you read page turner, it’s just mentioning moonji’s mom)

member(s): namjoon

a/n: THIS IS FOR YOU ANON WHO ASKED FOR NAMJOON/BYUL/MOONJI CONTENT NEXT! <3 and also thank you to @serenjiminey for this idea~ 

“for the drabble you could probably do something where byul and joon work on a small children’s book about the whole gang for moonji’s bday where joon writes it and byul draws the illustrations for it :)”

also since this is a drabble, i didn’t make the little story too long, but i did try my best to make it sound like a kids book! hope this fulfills your need for some content, even for just a teeny bit~

btw, namjoon’s yn is byul in the other aus (yn in page turner) -> yn here too since it’s a solo member drabble anyways :)

and lastly, none of this would make any sense to you if you haven’t read the series! here’s the link to the master list: 

the most beautiful moment in life

This takes place after taehyung’s au~

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

“Mommy!” Moonji yells. 

You were currently working, standing behind the counter at the library you worked at. Your eyes widened as her yell echoed throughout the quiet library. You put your finger to your lip and Namjoon puts his hand over her mouth, but instead his whole hand went over her entire face. The two walked over to you and you scanned a few more books you were entering into the system. 

“Sorry,” Namjoon whispers to you as he gets closer. Moonji managed to get her dad’s hand off of her face.

“Hi,” she whispers to you, smiling widely. You couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Hi sweetie, come here,” you tell her, reaching over the counter to take her. Namjoon passes her over and you press a small kiss to her cheek, hugging her tightly. “What brings you two by?”

Namjoon looks around him as if no one can know. 

“What?” You say. 

He then reaches over to cover Moonji’s ears, making her whine. “Birth-day-talk,” he mouths. Your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape when you get what he said. 

“Moonji there’s some new books over there at the kids’ section, do you want to go check it out?” You ask, Moonji furrows her eyebrows as she couldn’t hear what you were saying with Namjoon’s big hands on both sides of her head. 

“Oh! Joooon~” You say, pushing his hands off of her little ears.

“Daddy and I will take you to the kids’ section okay? They have new books there,” you tell her. With this, her eyes lit up and she excitedly wiggles out of your hold and runs out of the back counter. She knew where to go as she’s been here plenty of times. You then tell your coworker that you’ll be “helping them find a book” so that she can take your spot in entering the rest of the books.

-

As Moonji sat on a bean bag surrounded by the new books she picked out, you and Namjoon stood by the shelves, discussing what to do for her birthday that was coming up.

This was the second year you got to be there for Moonji’s birthday. The first one being her third birthday and now she was turning four! How time flies. 

Her third birthday was just a small party with the group. You and Namjoon made her a cake that day instead of getting one from Sohyun’s bakery and the two of you treated her like the princess she is. The two of you got her a couple of books that reminded you two of her. I know. Typical dad author and librarian girlfriend. But books are really special to Moonji! Namjoon has told you about how the very first thing Moonji’s mom and him bought when they were expecting, was a book for her. Moonji loved flipping through pages and looking at the pretty pictures, as she does not know how to read just yet, and also having her dad or aunt and uncles, and maybe sometimes her older cousins read to her. 

So of course you had to get her a book for her birthday. She loved it anyways! But this year you were thinking of something a little different, yet the same.

“Why don’t we make a book for her?” You tell Namjoon. He tilts his head to the side. 

“A book? Like write one?”

“Yes! I mean, you’re a best-selling author after all~ Why not make one for Moonji?” You look behind you to see Moonji engrossed in the book she’s holding.

“You write, I do the illustrations, what do you think?” You ask, you already had so many ideas running through your head.

Namjoon laughs at your excitement, he found it adorable, “I like it. But what would we write about?”

You think a bit to yourself, thinking about all the children’s books Moonji has read. 

“We can talk about the whole group, maybe a fun, little birthday story? It’ll be cute!”

-

“So how do you want to do this?” Namjoon asks you. The two of you were currently in his office while Moonji was down for a nap. It’s been a few hours since you two first talked about it. You were very excited to work with your favorite author on a book!! I mean, you never imagined for it to be a children’s book, but nevertheless, you were excited!

“I don’t know, I’ve never done this before,” you tell him, staring down at your iPad. You were in charge of the illustrations, something Moonji always looked forward to whenever getting new books. “You can write first? Then I’ll draw accordingly~”

“Okay, but I’m going to need your help in writing,” Namjoon says, taking out his laptop. You giggle, leaning your head onto his arm.

“I can’t believe I’m making a book with my favorite--”

“Sttoooopp,” Namjoon laughs, nudging you off. “I would think we were over that.”

“Hey! Boyfriend or not, you’re always going to be my favorite author,” you say, laying back on his arm. Namjoon shakes his head, smiling and also giving up with you. 

“Fine, you win,” he says, turning his head, placing a hand on your cheek and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “But my princess’ birthday is in a few days so we really need to get started on this.”

-

~a few days later, the night of Moonji’s birthday~

Moonji’s party has come to an end and Namjoon and you were finally going to give her her birthday present.

“Daaadddy~” Moonji says as she was already climbing into her bed, ready for bedtime. “Where’s my present?” She pouts, looking down at her empty lap, motioning with her hands. Namjoon laughs, climbing in to sit on her bed as well, carrying Moonji onto his lap. 

“Yn is getting it,” he says. “It’s from both of us and it’s full of love, you’re going to like it.” His daughter’s eyes light up as she sees you walking into her room with a gift wrapped in your hand.  

“Are you excited?!” You squeal. You were very excited. More excited than Moonji herself. 

“Yeah!” She laughs, jumping up and reaching out to you. You hand her the gift as you get closer.

“Here, happy birthday baby,” you say, kissing her head as you hand her the gift. 

“Thank youuu~” She says, quickly ripping the wrapping apart. A small gasp comes out of her mouth when she sees the cover.

Where’s Moonji?

It said. With a cute illustration of Moonji on the front with her adorable smile and crescent eyes. 

“It’s me!” She says happily. 

“Daddy and I made this especially for you,” you tell her as you sit down next to Namjoon. 

“Can you read it to meeee,” she says, looking up at her dad. 

“Of course,” Namjoon says.

Where’s Moonji

To our little moonchild by Daddy and Yn

Today is a very special day. 

What day is it today?

“Moonji’s birthday!” Moonji yells out, making the both of you laugh.

Daddy and Yn were preparing for the princess’ birthday!

Of course, they were not alone.

Where’s Uncle Jin?

Uncle Jin walked in with his kids, Minseok, Soojin, and Haneul.

Of course, Auntie Mae was right by their side. 

“Where’s Moonji?” Soojin asks. Haneul wanted to find out too.

Minseok, being the oldest, knew where Moonji was.

It was still early so Moonji was still sleeping!

“Uncle Joon, can we go to Moonji’s room?” Minseok asks. 

Daddy says okay.

The three ran to Moonji’s room, ready to see the birthday girl.

“Good morning Moonji!” Yells the three. Moonji stirred in her sleep, not knowing what was going on. 

Haneul pouts as Moonji doesn’t wake up.

They want to say happy birthday!

“Uncle Joonie!” Yelled Haneul. 

Daddy came into the room right away.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Why I don’t wake up?” Moonji asks, looking up at you. 

“Maybe because you stayed up late watching movies with daddy again,” you say, booping her nose.

“Moonji won’t wake up!” Complained the three. 

Daddy tells them that she’ll be up soon. 

The three then left the princess in her room.

Then Uncle Yoongi, Auntie Sohyun, and Hana came in with cake!

Moonji’s birthday cake.

Special cake that fell from (24/7) Heaven.

Hana looked for Moonji as well.

“Uncle Joonie, where’s Moonji?” 

“Sleeping,” says Soojin. 

“But it’s her birthday!” Argued Hana. 

Will Moonji miss her party?

“No no no! Wake up!” Yelled Moonji as her dad continues to read.

“Haaaaaappppy Birthday Moonji!” 

Even the loud voice of Uncle Hobi did not wake up princess Moonji. 

Auntie Sarang and Huimang looked around for the birthday girl.

“Where’s Moonji?” They asked.

“Sleeping,” says Hana.

Now Uncle Jimin, Auntie Yuna, and baby Mingyu came!

Hey.

Baby Mingyu was sleeping too!

But where was Uncle Taetae? Auntie Bora? And Youngjae?

Uncle Kookie and Auntie Rina and Sian came instead.

“Moonji is STILL sleeping,” complained the kids before they can even ask.

“It’s okay,” says Yn. “Let’s decorate while we wait!”

Uncle Kookie helped blowing up balloons while Auntie Rina tied them. 

Auntie Yuna put baby Mingyu down to help Uncle Jin and Uncle Yoongi with cooking!

Uncle Jimin put up streamers with Uncle Hobi.

Auntie Sarang and Auntie Mae organized the presents!

Auntie Sohyun fixed the desert table.

And Daddy and Yn were EVERYWHERE!

“I’m here!” Yelled Uncle Taetae. 

Youngjae and Auntie Bora were right behind him!

“Where’s Moonji?” They all asked, presents in their hands.

“STILL SLEEPING!”

As everyone finished up with the decorations, it was time to wake up the princess.

How do you wake up a princess from their deep sleep?

“A true love’s kiss!” Moonji yelled. 

“You’re right,” Namjoon tells her.

Daddy and Yn quietly walked into the princess’ room.

Both of them pressed a kiss to her cheek, instantly waking her up.

“Good morning!” They yelled. 

Moonji smiles from ear to ear. 

“Happy birthday princess,” Daddy says.

As Namjoon was about to close the book, you stopped him. 

“Wait! There’s still a page or two left,” you tell him. Namjoon furrowed his brows as he only remembers writing until that part. You motioned for him to keep going. Moonji already flipped it before he did. 

A little gasp escaped her lips and Namjoon was just as surprised.

You drew an extra page or two, adding in Moonji’s real mom. 

Everyone that loves Moonji was at the party!

Uncle Jin was there. Auntie Mae and Minseok, Soojin, and Haneul!

Uncle Yoongi was there with Auntie Sohyun and Hana!

Uncle Hobi was there too! Auntie Sarang and Huimang came with.

Uncle Jimin, Auntie Yuna, and baby Mingyu too!

Uncle Taetae and Auntie Bora, with Youngjae~

Uncle Kookie was with Sian and Auntie Rina!

And of course Daddy was there with Yn.

I call her mommy.

Oh! And my real mommy was there too.

Can you see her?

You look up at Namjoon as he reads the last few lines. A tear ran down his cheek. You look down at Moonji and she was smiling, running her hand over the drawings. 

Mommy was there with us. Right in our hearts.

Everyone she loves was there. 

Moonji had a very happy birthday. 

Now the book was really over. 

“I love it!” Moonji yells with joy, throwing her hands up in the air. Namjoon wraps his arms around her, pressing kisses to her cheeks, making her giggle. 

“Happy birthday again princess,” you tell her.

Namjoon then looks at you with teary eyes.

“When did you put that in there?” He asks. 

“You sent me out to get it all printed and I had it made before hand. I sneakily added it in when you gave me the flash drive,” you say, smiling up at him. 

“... was it okay though?” You then ask. You knew that Moonji’s birthday wasn’t the easiest day to celebrate every year considering it’s also the death anniversary of her mom. Namjoon did his best to try and not to let the bad memories of that day get to him. He still loved her of course, and will always have her in his heart. Now that he had you with his daughter, you never ever want it to seem like you were ever replacing her. You want to let them both know she’ll always be there in memory and in your hearts. You, personally, never met her, but you knew she was amazing. 

“More than okay,” he tells you, pulling you in to kiss you on the forehead. “Thank you.”

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 10) | The Boyz Imagine

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main characters: Kevin, Juyeon, Hyunjae and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz

Genre: fluff, slice of life, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10

-----------

"Excuse me."

"Yes," Juyeon whips his head up to see a pregnant woman waddling over to the counter with an expression that looks murderous. Holding her belly against herself with a grocery bag slung over her shoulder, she slams her entire body onto the front counter, which causes him to jump in surprise. 

"How are you, ma'am? How can I help you today?" Juyeon flashes a wan smile, used to dealing with unnerved clients. There's usually always a reason behind their madness.

"I have been waiting for at least an hour!" The woman bellows, practically red in the face, "I'm due in two weeks, and there are so many other pregnant women waiting behind me. How come it's taking so long?"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry we--"

"Do you know how hard it is for us, pregnant women, to sit here in this stuffed waiting room while babies are kicking?!" She interrupts with another yell as Juyeon's hands come up in defense, "I want to see Dr. Bae right now! Right now, you hear me? I'm tired! I want to go home!" 

Panic rises at the back of Juyeon's throat, "I--I am so sorry about this ma'am. But due to the number of patients today, the office is running a little slower than usual. I'm really sorry--"

"I don't want to hear your stupid reasons. I want my appointment!" She bellows, "Now!"

Fear coils through his stomach, a sick feeling tying into knots as his throat dries up with the countless excuses dying on the tip of his tongue. 

Shit, his heart races. How is he supposed to deal with that? 

He'd give anything to be shadowing a doctor right now. 

The door to the doctor's office suddenly slides open, revealing a gentle-eyed Jacob who's gaze quickly flits between them in understanding. The woman doesn't even wait a second, quickly twisting her body and waddling towards him. 

"Dr. Bae, I was just telling your stupid staff here that you need to speed up your process! Do you know how painful it is to be sitting around with that?" She motions towards her belly, legs wide apart and fists clenched at her sides as though she's preparing for battle. 

But Jacob's expression stays unfazed, "I apologize, ma'am. Unfortunately the speed of the diagnosis does not rely solely on me, but my patient."

"Yes, but--"

"Some have--" Jacob pauses, presses his lips together as sympathy flashes through his face, "some have difficult obstacles they've had to face in regards to their pregnancy. Not everyone is as lucky that their baby is growing up to be healthy."

The woman blinks, opening her mouth, then closing it upon realizing that she has been shocked into silence. 

"I understand your frustrations, I really do," Jacob's voice is gentle, a soothing lullaby that instantly makes Juyeon feel like the world is a better place, "but we all have to cooperate a little, work together to make this work. Don't you think?" 

For a moment, there's a complete silence so palpable that Juyeon can hear the ringing in his ears. He can feel the eyes of a multitude of patients drilling into the back of his skull and goosebumps suddenly explode along his arm at the sensation. 

"Alright," the woman finally lets out a grumble, "fine. Whatever."

And she turns around, wobbly on her feet, before plopping back down at her seat looking slightly disconcerted by the effect of Jacob's words. 

Juyeon sends the said doctor a look of utter gratefulness, which Jacob answers with a wink of his own before retreating back into his office. 

Thank god. 

---------

It's been a long day running back and forth between the maternity department and the pediatric ward, but it is only when the last patient bids their goodbyes that Juyeon allows his neutral mask to fall.

"I'm sorry doctor," he bows his head to the ground, not daring to make any kind of eye contact due to the embarrassment coiling through him, "It was my fault. I couldn't calm her down in time."

"No no," Jacob's lips curl up into a smile, face softening with understanding, "it happens all the time. Impatient patients are the norm around here. Mothers-to-be, especially."

"Still, I'm sorry."

"Did that swear you off the Maternity Ward then?" Jacob's smile widens into a teasing grin.

"Maybe."

"Well, if it's of any comfort, it's no better in the other wards."

"What do you mean?" Juyeon frowns. 

"Some of them are always looking for donors, others always doing extra shifts. The pediatric ward is the only one that's doing okay, as of late. Cancer department is just a hole of sadness."

"That's...not very encouraging."

"That's the reality of it," Jacob shrugs, "did you give it any thought? What you wanted to specialize?" 

"I don't know. Cancer, maybe. I'm not good with kids and the Cardiac Department looks like hell. Also, Organs make me squirm."

Jacob laughs at that, the sound bouncing through the room like sunlight, "that's exactly the same reason why I didn't want to specialize in surgery."

"That makes the two of us."

After packing up their belongings and clocking out for the day, Jacob offers to buy Juyeon dinner as a thank-you for helping him throughout the day and though the latter tries his best to refuse, the doctor insists that it's just something he does with all of his underlings, and that not treating Juyeon would just not be right. 

So Juyeon has no other choice but to follow as they walk to the parking lot. They unexpectedly bump into Hyunjae and Changmin in the lobby, causing Jacob to invite them both to join. 

"Why Jacob, I think that's the first time you're buying me dinner," Hyunjae can't help but comment as they settle at one of the tables of Mama's chicken, a small restaurant just down the street from their hospital. Juyeon smacks his thigh in protest, aiming to be subtle while the former stifles his groan of pain. 

"What?" Hyunjae hisses venomously.

"You don't say those kinds of things," Juyeon hisses back.

"You only care because you want him to give you a good review."

"Piss off, Hyunjae." 

The dinner goes surprisingly well considering that Juyeon isn't really familiar with Jacob. Having Hyunjae helps ease the tension between the interns and the doctors, lightening the atmosphere and loosening up his tongue. They share stories about patients, heart-wrenching stories about the ones they lost, and the ones that they managed to save. The more they spoke, the more Juyeon felt like this was the right path he'd chosen, after all this internal dilemma that had cost him a few years. 

"So why did you want to study medicine?" Asks Hyunjae to Changmin, who is already slightly flushed from his second beer. 

"I--uh--I just wanted to make the world a better place," Changmin stammers, ears flushing red, "I don't think I've considered anything else."

"See, this is the problem with interns," Hyunjae shakes a hand at him, "you guys think that being a doctor is honourable. It fucking sucks, okay? Like, it's really shitty. The shittiest of everything shitty in this world."

"Not all that shitty," Jacob intercepts.

Hyunjae scowls at him, "for you, maybe. You work in the Maternity Ward. What's the worst? That a pregnant woman comes screaming at you?" 

At that comment, Juyeon can't help but glance at Jacob, eyes meeting for a quick second in understanding. 

“I think I got used to that,” Jacob answers with a small smile, “Pregnant women don’t scare me.” 

“You’re brave, Dr. Bae,” Hyunjae sniffs, “there’s no way I’d be able to make it.”

“Do you regret choosing to be a surgeon?” Changmin pipes up.

“Nah,” Hyunjae flashes him a grin then, leaning back against his seat and poking Juyeon’s neck as he does so, “couldn’t find myself a better match. Surgery is all I live for. It’s like me against death, and most of the time, I always win.” 

“And the times you don’t?” 

“You win some, you lose some. That’s the reality of it.”

When Jacob and Changmin bid their goodbyes, Juyeon accompanies Hyunjae back to the hospital -- the latter has a night shift. It is his second one in a row -- while throwing his friend a couple of worried glances out of the corner of his eye. 

He knows more than anyone how much Hyunjae gives to the people. No matter how much bravado he puts on about doctors and how medicine really is like a beast you can’t tame, there’s definitely always a sparkle in the said doctor’s eyes whenever he talks about it. Juyeon admires that, and he admires Hyunjae (not that he’ll ever tell him though), but his stomach can’t help but churn with worry when he notices the darkening blue aprons underneath his friend’s eyes, or the tiredness lining them, red-rimmed and mouth pulled down in a way that only suggests he lacks sleep and energy. 

“Hey,” Juyeon speaks up when they reach the hospital doors. Hyunjae looks back at him as he says, “try getting some sleep. You look like crap.” 

“Thanks Juyeon. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“I’m serious, Hyunjae. Continue doing that and you’ll pass out in mid-surgery.” 

“Yeah yeah,” the older man sticks out his tongue in retaliation, “I hear you, mother. You heading home now?” 

“Yup. I’m done for the day. I got tomorrow off too.” 

“Lucky bastard.”

-----

Tagging: @juyeonzz @thesingingfae1905 @gratefulmaria @nochuu17​

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Also, for all those who have sent me requests, don’t worry I’m working on them! they shall be up soon! <3

I’M SO SORRY IT’S SO SHORT FML BUT LIFE IS GETTING IN THE WAY AND MAE IS TRYING TO ADULT AND GO TO JOB INTERVIEWS SO YEAH IM SORRY FHSDLSDLKJDBUT I HOPE YOU LIKE ALL THIS BROMANCE. 

NEXT EP WILL BE FULL OF MAE AND KEV SFKSDHGKDSJGDSLGLDKN <3 

[elementalsight]

For the writing meme: 18 and 20?

18: Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them. Ohhhhhh so for Complicated Creation, one of my initial ideas was that after the Spirit Realm, Aizawa would give Izuku his contact number, and Izuku’d have a moment of “My phone doesn’t actually make calls, but I use wifi for email” (cue FEELINGS there) and Izuku taking off but promising to show up when they need him. And then the LoV setting off a bomb, essentially, with anti-quirk bullets inside that hit multiple people and Izuku has to come in and save the day. Thankfully the Dadzawa vibes were too strong, and I absolutely prefer this version. The MUCH BIGGER VERSION CHANGE is that originally? Ryujin is resurrected in chapter 13 straight up. Like, Izuku falls into the ocean, very nearly drowns, and Ryujin is the one to rescue him. There was a point where Izuku demanded to be let go so he could go home and Ryujin, being Not Very Good At This, just drops him for Mizuchi to catch on his back, but Izuku 100% thinks he is gonna DIE as he falls. I do love that scene and their exchange, and of course this means Aizawa is scolding Ryujin directly for the storms, but something felt off about it. I finally tossed it to @redrobin-detective for feedback and they were kind enough to sit as we worked back and forth about if Ryujin’s comeback was too fast after his death. So we came to the idea of Ryujin being essentially tied to where he belongs/was born and needs to stay there. For a year? A century? Who knows. He’ll be able to speak to and guide Izuku, but he won’t be physically there. Which changes some of how I expect the sequel to go, but I 100% think the story is stronger for it - and it entirely came from me reading comments and everyone telling me HOW MUCH THEY WERE EFFECTED by Ryujin’s death, which surprised me. Since I knew it was coming, it didn’t punch me in the same way I think it did for other readers. 20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?) Oh man CC is SO full of symbolism and repeated motifs and hidden notes. Some of my favourites: 1) Izuku starts and ends (more or less) at the Takua river. He starts there treating his wounds, wondering if he should fall in and let himself drift away before Tamamo-no-Mae drags him back. He ends there on the bank, expecting Mizuchi to arrive to kill him. He’s passive, feeling empty and used up and like an awful human being. And in the first round, he is offered help (from TnM) and rejects it and runs and goes to ground to hide. And the second time, after shenanigans Ryujin offers him help and Izuku more-or-less accepts it (he asks for time to think because he’s overwhelmed, but he does accept) and more importantly, he doesn’t run away: he asks to go back to Aizawa, to the one person who has helped him feel safe. I really wanted to examine how far Izuku’s come, but also reflect on how far he still has to go! Poor kid needs more than three weeks of Aizawa and good meals before he’s stable, but it’s a good start! 2) Tamamo-no-Mae. Things like “Do not fall in, I cannot swim” and later on her talking about how she met Mizuchi was by falling into his domain (one of his rivers) and she still can’t swim, I dunno why but I love that? Also she has at least one line, possibly more, that hint at more secrets folks don’t yet know about her that I am excited about. She is one of those spirits who becomes DEEPLY connected to her humans, and so she connects to Izuku easily and for Izuku, he really is attaching onto her a bit like a mother. 3) ALL THE FORESHADOWING ABOUT AfO I spent SO MUCH TIME trying to CARRREEEFULLY craft the hints: I didn’t want to make it too obvious, but at the same time it seemed so obvious to me - even the adults in-verse are like ‘this kid could be connected to AfO because of quirk manipulation’ and still it surprised so many people but importantly no one thought it was a complete heel-turn ass-pull. The minute you go back and reread (I have had multiple people comment as such) it’s obvious.  [[You are not what you are made to be. You are not what you are made out to be. Both things are untrue. You have surprised me,]] she says, like she’s making all the sense in the world. [[ I look forward to seeing what you become.]]  Also when Izuku meets OfA, he tries to protest ‘hey, I am not what everyone says I am, sure I’m apparently the bridge, but I just want to help people’ and OfA’s response is [[ That remains to be seen. You are young: age makes monsters out of men. ]] They know the context that Izuku doesn’t, that they somewhat think Izuku does know, and so they’re not trying to be cryptic. OfA is really just being passive aggressive, and TnM is trying to be reassuring! They just... don’t realize Izuku’s working with less information. I could probably go on, but I’ll wait and see if anyone else asks for the same # XD

[marshmallowprotection]

ANOTHER MC! YES I KNOW SO MANY OOF LOL. 

Match up as usual.

I honestly had trouble coming up with her personality- Like…making someone whose mature and older sisterly and whose also a idol for some reason is hard??? idk oof. Less sad MC this time but still with a bit of tragedy. But she’s not unable to move on like Marina, or manipulated by Rika into Mint Eye through Rika by making her trust her like Sayaka, so yeah.

No drawing this time, I have to do my math and science finals after this so oof.

Full Name: Yeona Mae

International Age: 25 (AS) 26 (OS)

Korean Age: 26 (AS) 27 (OS)

Nicknames: N/A

Blood Type: O+

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Marital Status: Single; Has Had 3 Previous Serious Relationships, the third of which would have resulted in marriage had her fiancee not passed away.

Ethnicity: Korean

Nationality: South Korea

Religion: Catholic

Birthdate: September 14th, 1990

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: 5′5 ft (165 cm)

Weight: 130 lbs (58 kgs)

*Status: Alive (All Routes Except Certain Endings)

Cleansed (V’s B1, and all of Ray’s bad endings) 

*In the secret ending, if she is not the MC, Yeona is kidnapped by Unknown by order of Rika (due to her extreme amount of influence and connections) and was about to go through her cleansing ceremony before the whole fiasco with V’s death. 

Yeona is also kidnapped in Another Story regardless of route if she is not the MC, and her fate differs based on the ending. If on V’s route and Bad Ending 1 occurs, she is cleansed and becomes part of Mint Eye since she was not able to escape with V, the MC, and Seven (and Myung if she exists in the timeline. Remember, there are multiple different timelines in the world of SV’s (short for SerendipitousValkeria) version of the Mystic Messenger universe.). Yeona escapes in all of V’s other endings. 

In Ray’s route she escapes alone after Ray manages to help her escape before he hurries to help the MC of the route; note only if Ray’s Bad Ending 3 has not had it’s required conditions fulfilled will she be able to escape, so if she does not that would become a sign that your at the point of no return to Ray’s B3. she also does not escape in any of the other bad endings Ray has. 

Occupation: Second child of the CEO of a company similar in size to C&R, one of the most popular Idols in South Korea.

Hobbies: Singing, Working Out (Not As Much As Zen Does, Though), Swimming, Visiting Her Fiancée’s Grave

Likes: The Ocean, Swimming, Playing Tennis, Taking Long Walks On Beaches, The Smell of Lavender, Listening To Music, Musicals, Watching Zen’s Musicals, Concerts

Dislikes: Echo Girl, Spiders, Alcohol, Her Mother, People Liking Her Only For Her Beauty, People Who Tell Her To “Just Get Over Your Fiancée Already!”

Affiliations: RFA 

Mint Eye (V’s B1, Ray’s B1, B2, and B3) 

Relatives: Father

Mother

Older Brother (2 years older)

Younger Brother (3 years younger)

Younger Sister (5 years younger) 

Unnamed Fiancée (Deceased)

Background: Yeona Mae is the second child of the CEO of a successful company which specializes in a variety of things. Her entire life she has mostly been pampered like a princess almost, however, she was always taken care of by people other than her parents, who were busy running the company, leading to her basically having to raise herself. She was also jealous of her older brother a lot due to him being the “favorite” since he was the heir to the company and was constantly fawned over by her parents, who ignored her and her younger brother and sister. She ended up also having to raise her younger siblings since they were also ignored by her parents. When she was 5 she went to her first concert, which caused her interest in music and singing. As time went on she started taking singing lessons. When she decided to start her career as a idol when she was 19, she explicitly told her parents she was going to start from scratch and build up her career on her own without their money or help, which they respected and haven’t in anyway influenced her career as a idol since. Her career started to really kick off when she was 21, with the release of her 10th song, “What Is Love?”, which was conceptualized with the question of “What is love, really?” as Yeona had no real concept of what love was since her parents were quite obviously in a loveless relationship, having more kids for the sake of having extra heirs in case of Yeona’s older brother being unable to take over the company when her father dies. Yeona’s first relationship was the first time she had ever really known what love was like, and despite the relationship not working out in the end, her and her first love are still friends. Yeona’s second relationship was with a fellow idol, but again, it didn’t work out. Yeona’s third relationship did end up working out as her third lover ended up proposing to her, and she said yes. However, tragically, her fiancée died in a car accident due to his friend being drunk and driving without him knowing and they both died in the crash. Yeona was devastated and put her idol career on hold to mourn. Because of the loss, Yeona ended up believing she could never love someone like that again because she was so lost in what to do, since her future with her fiancée was now gone and she didn’t know what to do with herself. However, eventually, she managed to move on somewhat and started back up her idol career with the song “Hearts Separated By Death”, then followed by it’s sequel, “Mended Heart”. Yeona got into swimming a little bit after her fiancée’s death as something to distract herself from everything and keep her mind off things.

Yeona could be described as a big sisterly sort of person, caring very much for those around her due to the fact she had to raise herself and her two younger siblings. Yeona overall lives in the present, especially after her fiancée died, preferring not to plan because things could go to shit very quickly. She enjoys every second and like to savor happy little moments and just not think about everything else. She also can be a bit absent minded, getting lost in her own world sometimes because of a desire to go to a world where everything can last forever- of course, she knows it’s a stupid fantasy that can never come true. Yeona also is very good at reading people, and it’s very hard to hard to hide what your feeling from her. It’s also hard to lie to her, though someone like Rika could still manage to deceive her. Yeona also has a smart mouth and can be very sassy and sarcastic when she wants to be. Yeona always heavily enjoys teasing people. 

Trivia:

1. Yeona has red hair (a little different than Saeyoung’s and Saeran’s) and green eyes.

2. Yeona’s most popular song is a song about her experience when her third boyfriend (and former fiancée) died in a car accident, called “Hearts Separated By Death”, created 7 months after he died.

3. Yeona’s favorite color is teal. 

4. Yeona despises Echo Girl but pretends to be “completely neutral” toward her.

5. Yeona is a fan of Zen and has met him before. She has often praised his work in public and in private. Their casual friends. 

6. Yeona has often had to debunk rumors about her and Zen being in a secret relationship because everyone wants to see the “prettiest idol around” and the “handsomest actor around” get together. She has stated she is still not in any position to get into another relationship (considering her fiancee died only 2 months before Rika “died”, so 20 months (or a year and 6 months) ago in CS and DS and 3 months ago in AS). 

7. Since she comes from a wealthy family, Yeona had the resources to learn multiple languages, and so besides Korean and Korean Sign Language, Yeona is also fluent in: English, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese, as well as their forms of sign language, which has been useful due to her little brother (who is 3 years younger) being born mute. — Submission

I match with you... 

V! 

You’re the kind of person that cares about everyone around you. It’s never really been about you. It’s been about everyone else in the room and it’s hard for you to accept that you can be selfish sometimes. It’s unfortunate, but it happens far more often than it should to many people. Still, you don’t let it get you down as much as it might, but it’s hurting your heart whether you want to open up about this fact or not. It makes it hard for you to reach out to others when you do find yourself catching feelings because how does one open up when they’re not sure what love should feel like? 

Gonna go out on a limb and say that you need the kind of partner that understands what you’re going through and won’t force you to rush and do anything. You and V are both the type that needs to be friends before you rush headstrong into something. There’s a lot that you could learn from each other on the front of opening up about what hurt you in the first place. So, you’re the types to exchange letters, texts, and late night phone calls as friends before romance ever hits. 

He may be the quiet type but he is supportive, he admires that you have the confidence to do what you wanted even if it made someone upset. He wishes that he would have had that gall when he was younger. No changing the past but he’s happy to spend his future with you. He can be a bit-scattered himself so you both need to be on top of each other when it comes to times and dates. 

[sammysreelreviews]

Counting Down My Top 20 Films Of The Decade: Part 2

Here we are y’all, the last decade list. I can’t believe I actually finished this list. This list took fucking forever and I can’t believe I’m finally sharing it! All my decade lists are listed here in my intro to the first part of my top 20! Okay so some of these choices may be crazy, I know, but I picked the movies that have made me feel things and movies that I have watched over and over and over again. I’m so glad I got to reminisce on all these wonderful films and I’m so happy to share this with the world! My next post won’t be until 2020 and the topic is still to be determined but it will be a list of television shows cause I know how much y’all love that. This past year has been a roller coaster for me but one positive is that my blog really grew! I appreciate anyone who reads or shares or likes any of my posts it means the world to me. Even when I was at my absolute worst I kept up with this blog and everyone who interacts with it helps keep me going. I hope everyone has a happy and healthy New Years! Before I forget ***THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!!!*** Mwah!

10. Upgrade (2018)

This past year I realized that I may like sci-fi movies more than I thought. My friend Kelsey raved about this and after I watched I 100% saw why. This action packed film about a technophobe looking for revenge is absolutely insane!!! I don’t wanna give it away cause I highly recommend you watch this so if you wanna hear more about it click here!

9. Drive (2011)

Ugh, I don’t have much to say about this BRILLIANT film cause words are not enough but that elevator scene alone deserves an Oscar. The 80’s themed soundtrack, and neon lights started a revolution in 2010 indie cinema and I stand by that.

8. La La Land (2016)

I wrote a review on this movie that you can read here so I’ll keep this brief. When I watched this in theaters I sobbed at the end because it just reminded me of how much I loved film and writing screenplays. Anytime I feel like I can’t do anything or that I’m not progressing I put La La Land on and remember a career in film is what I’m meant to do.

7. Happy Death Day (2017)

I’m really going to try to not talk about this movie in 2020 but I can not make any promises. If you follow me I am so sorry you have to see me mention this movie for the 7000th time. If you’re new here first of all, welcome! Second of all, you can read all about it here, here, and here. I love Happy Death Day so much and the sequel is just as good so please rent it or stream it! I want a 3rd movie! I need it!!!

6. Nocturnal Animals (2016)

This is one of the most underrated films ever. Like where was the Oscar nomination?! I wrote an entire review about it so you can read more about it here! All I’m gonna say is, that scene where she’s getting an abortion and Jake Gyllenhaal is waiting outside in he fucking rain for her?!?! I literally gasped in theaters. 

5. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)

Let me start by saying that this is the funniest movie ever created. I know every single line to this film and every time I watch it I still laugh which is impressive because I’ve literally been watching this movie for almost a decade now. I’m kind of out of words to say because there are so many things worth mentioning but I’ll try! Let’s start with the how insane this cast is. Can you believe that this movie has Superman, Captain America, and Captain Marvel!? The best Avengers movie is this one if you ask me! Michael Cera is always hysterical but Kieran Culkin is one of my favorite parts of this movie. When this movie came out I had a crush on Jonny Simmons so he was one of the reasons I saw it but he’s underrated as Young Neil. Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza have small parts but they make quite the impact. Alison Pill deserves a damn Oscar already! She’s honestly one of the best actresses of our generation. Ellen Wong as Knives Chau kills me and I was so excited when she was a main cast member on The Carrie Diaries. Lastly, Mae Whitman says one of my favorite lines ever and although she’s in the movie for like 3 scenes she certainly makes the most of the little time she’s given. The comedic timing of this film is perfection and it’s one of the only movies where every single scene is entertaining! There are so many things I quote from this movie it’d be unfair to only pick one honestly but “Alright this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It’s called We Hate You, Please Die.” And that song title is exactly what I think of anyone who does not enjoy this PERFECT film.

4. Like Crazy (2011)

If you know me you know how much I love this movie, movies about love, and how much I loved Anton Yelchin so this movie is a firm sucker punch to the gut. I haven’t watched it since Anton passed but it’s one of the most emotional films I’ve ever seen. A couple with an ocean between them is probably the decade’s best romance. Felicity and Anton had insane chemistry and improvised most of the movie. I would write more but I’m tearing up thinking about Anton *insert every sad and crying emoji*.

3. Call Me By Your Name (2017)

When I first saw this movie I left the theater asking myself why this movie was such a big deal. Then I got in my car and started bawling my eyes out. What I love about CMBYM is how optimistic it makes you feel about love the whole time Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and Oliver (Armie Hammer) were falling in love I had puppy dog eyes. I’m a Pisces so I’m all about deep and fleeting love and every time I watch this movie it gets me in my fucking feels! When Elio cried on the car ride home after saying bye to Oliver but they couldn’t give each other a proper goodbye cause they’re gay and it was the 80’s!!! HeartBREAKING! Not only did this movie make me wanna runaway to Italy but It’s also one of the sexiest movies of the decade and I haven’t looked at peaches the same since.

2. Gone Girl (2014)

I read Gone Girl before I saw the movie and I’ve regretted it everyday since. The book took me three days to finish, which is a lot for me, and I felt like it was too detailed. In the book you read a lot of Amy’s (Rosamund Pike) journal entries which makes it pretty obvious that she’s alive and well. I hate Ben Affleck but honestly he was the perfect choice to play Nick. This movie is one of the only movies that is better than the book. When this was on HBO I literally watched it every time it was on tv for months. The cinematography is phenomenal and the acting is even better. Fincher is a genius and in my eyes, Gone Girl is his best work.

1. Black Swan (2010)

The flavor this film has... I mean it’s immaculate. Growing up I studied at Boston Ballet School and it was very intense! Those ten years helped shape me into the woman I am today. While I did ballet I used to always go see ballets cause we got discounted tickets and my favorite was Swan Lake. The music, the story, the costumes, it’s all so beautiful and timeless. When the film came out I was so excited. I had no idea what to expect but if it’s about ballet I am in. I love this movie so much it’s dark, the acting is superb, and nothing is better than Tchaikovsky’s music blaring in the background during the most climatic scenes. Black Swan might be my third favorite movie of all time but it’s 100% my favorite movie of the 2010’s. I have no idea not know why it didn’t win best picture.

[aerielart]

An Evening Chat

WELP look who wrote some more of her ocs!

After that really short and angsty thing I did last time, I thought it might be nice to do something a little more substantial (and canon compliant) to give you guys a better idea of their characters. I hope you like it!

(Fair warning I wrote this all over the span of today and it is very minimally edited so proceed with caution lmao! I am not the most skilled with prose, I just wanted to share something of my fictional kiddos)

Without further ado please enjoy

-

Mae heaved out a sigh as she fumbled in her pocket for her box of cigarettes. With her other hand she flicked open her lighter, and in one smooth movement she had the death stick lit and in her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a nice long drag, concentrating on the warmth in her lungs and waiting for the pleasant lightheadedness to come, but it didn’t. Nowadays, all it was good for was scratching the itch. A ritual that she couldn’t break out of. 

She exhaled, disappointed, watching the smoke escape from her mouth and disintegrate into the evening air. 

Muffled laughter reached her ears, and she turned her head toward the source of the noise. Her… neighbors? Landlords? She still wasn’t sure exactly what to consider them. Her… whatevers, Jim and Carol, were standing around a merrily roaring bonfire, chatting and drinking and just enjoying the balmy summer weather. From the other side of the smokey haze Jace appeared, his arms full of fallen branches which he began feeding to the fire. Of course he was there too. He always seemed to be over there, inserting himself into Mae’s life unprompted. 

He said he was just helping them with yard work, clearing out brush and all that, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to it. He was a strange guy. 

As if sensing her attention, Jace glanced up from where he had been squated next to the fire and the two of them locked eyes. He smiled and waved, and Mae averted her gaze, pretending to occupy herself with her cigarette once again. But that didn’t stop him from straightening up and walking over to where she stood leaning against her house.

Shit shit shit shit shit…

“Hey!”

Shit shit shit shit shit!

She gave a resigned huff, causing more smoke to billow from her mouth as she removed her cigarette again. “Hi…”

Jace frowned at her unfavorable reaction and stuck his hands into his pockets, glancing behind himself a few times. “Did you, uh, wanna join us and have a beer? Or… something?” he tried. 

Mae bit her lip. “No thanks, I’m… trying to cut back.”

“Oh.” Jace replied. His eyes strayed down to the still burning cigarette between her fingers, and Mae let it fall to the ground, stomping it out with her shoe.

“Besides, I would rather not get eaten by mosquitos,” Mae continued. “I only came out here for a quick smoke.”

A high pitched buzzing suddenly started and a mosquito zoomed in between the two of them to accentuate her point. She grimaced and swiped at it.

Jace gave a great belly laugh, revealing his slightly-too-sharp teeth. “Yeah, well, it was a bad idea to move up to the mountains then. They’re pretty bad around here.” 

He grinned at his halfhearted joke, and Mae grunted. 

Jace grew quiet for a moment, scrutinizing her with a subtle tint of his head. “So, what did bring you out here anyway,” he asked suddenly. “No offense, but you don’t really seem like the type to wanna ruff it.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Oh come on. Carol said you’re from California, right?” His grin returned and Mae watched as he sauntered around her and over to her side, settling himself against the wall next to her. “Let me guess, you’re one of those city folk who wanted to ‘get away from it all’, so you move to the mountains or out to the country thinking it’ll be a peaceful, magical wonderland, and then run screaming at the slightest sign of mother nature.”

A flash of anger ignited in Mae’s chest at that and she rounded on him. “What the hell? Who do you think you are? You don’t know me!” The nerve of this kid!

That finally wiped the shit-eating expression off his face once and for all, and he raised his hands in front of him. “I’m sorry,” he blurted. “Bad joke. You’re right, I don’t know.” He paused for a moment to lower his hands and head in submission, then murmured. “I’m sure you had a good reason. And… if it’s too personal, you don’t have to tell me…”

Mae held her glare for a moment, but decided to let it go. She had already gathered that Jace could be a bit clumsy and tactless sometimes, and it wasn’t like she wasn’t the same way, so it wasn’t fair for her to judge. She leaned back, her gaze drifting back over to the bonfire next door. “Are you from here?” She had gotten that impression ever since she’d met him. He just… seemed like he belonged here, somehow. Even more than, say, Jim and Carol. Which was a weird thing to think, and she couldn’t exactly explain it even to herself, but it was still true.

Jace glanced up at that, giving a sheepish chuckle. “Actually, no. This is gonna make me look like an ass, but, I’m from the city too.”

Really? With the way he seemed to know just about everybody, Mae had assumed that he’d lived here his entire life. Mae raised her brows and gave him a sidelong look. “Well, at least you're self aware about it.”

Jace winced.

A silence settled over them once more, though Mae wouldn’t exactly call it comfortable. Without her cigarette she had nothing to occupy her hands, so she copied Jace and stuffed them inside the pockets of her jacket. 

“So why’d you move out here then?” she finally asked, half out of pettiness but also because his answer had not been what she expected and she genuinely wanted to know. 

Jace frowned. “It’s… complicated.”

Mae just nodded. This strange kid might still be an enigma to her, but that, at least, she could understand. So she decided not to press the issue. 

“It’s great here, though,” he went on. “Everybody just does what they want, goes at their own pace. Not like in the city. Feels like… home.”

Home. Mae thought she might have known what that felt like once, but not anymore. Would this place ever feel like home? She wanted to believe, but she also didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Then again…

She glanced at the younger man next to her, and then back over at her neighbors. They had all been so kind and welcoming to her when she had first arrived here, did all that they could to help her settle in. The thought brought another spark of warmth to her chest, though it was softer this time. Gentler. Was that what home was supposed to feel like? The thought caused the corners of her lips to quirk in a tentative smile. 

Movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she glanced back over at Jace to watch him pull himself from the wall. He looked up at her with a soft, earnest gaze. “You sure you don’t wanna come over and sit with us? It can’t be fun being in the dark by yourself.”

“What if that’s just the way I like it?” 

“Oh, well, I guess that’s alright. But you know,” Jace gave her a long look. “Even introverts need friends.”

It was very difficult to leave Mae speechless, but somehow, Jace’s words struck her deep and managed just that. They’d known each other, what, maybe a week or two? Yet he was able to drop the F word so easily? It left a whirlwind of emotions swirling inside her, making her want to laugh and cry and slap him in his stupid, naive face all at the same time. Instead, she settled for dropping her gaze to the ground and watching as some sort of bug that she couldn’t identify scuttled around her foot. 

“I’m... not the kind of person people wanna be friends with…” 

At that, Jace broke out into a deep, sardonic laugh. “Yeah, me either.”

Mae wasn’t sure what reaction she had expected, but that definitely was not it. What the hell was that supposed to mean? She grimaced. Was he mocking her?

No… She may have only known Jace for a short while, but she did know enough to be sure that he wouldn’t joke about something like that. It caused her natural curiosity to kick in and she almost chose to dig a little deeper, but in the end she thought better of it. After all, she had her secrets as well. He could keep his. 

“Well, I guess we’re a perfect match then,” she replied sardonically. 

Jace gave his own rye smile in return. “Guess so.” But then, as if he finally realized that he’d let his guard drop, that same big grin that he always wore suddenly returned. The one that Mae was finally starting to see for what it was: a mask. 

The one that made her even more curious to find out what was going on behind that mask.

“Well, sorry for interrupting your smoke. I’ll let you get back to it.” He raised a hand in farewell, then started heading back over to where Jim and Carol were still sitting around the bonfire. They waved and gave a greeting that Mae couldn’t hear before inviting him to sit down in one of the lawn chairs that must have appeared sometime during their talk. 

Mae glanced down at the snuffed cigarette that still sat beneath her shoe and frowned. Well, her smoke had been ruined, might as well just go back inside now. She turned around to do just that, but before she did, she couldn’t help taking one last glance over her shoulder. 

And, as she watched the three of them drink and laugh and be merry, she couldn’t help the thought that maybe next time it wouldn’t be so bad to join them.

[pinetasticapple]

What if we had known each other first and fallen in love second: The Evillustrator

Also on ao3 and ffnet !

"I can't believe you dragged me into watching the entire thing, twice!" Marinette bumped Adrien's shoulder right as they entered the school building "do you enjoy playing with my feelings Agreste? Do you?"

"To be fair, I did warn you."

"One cannot take the death of Maes Hughes twice!" she pinched his arm, grinning at his yelp "you are a monster who enjoy that pain."

"But his death was a vital point for the plot and the exploration of Mustang!" he shielded himself with his bag "and you loved it!"

"Hmm perhaps" Marinette crossed her arms "and I can see you doing puppy eyes at me to make you that Edward cosplay."

"Hey I am willing to pay every cent necessary if it means I can have that amazing cloak."

Marinette rolled her eyes but kept smiling as they walked to the science classroom.

Summer had come and gone way too fast for her pleasure but it had been fun to spend more nights of patrol and movie nights with Adrien.

It had been a stretch to hang with Alya and Nino out of the mask, given Adrien's impossibly tight schedule, but they had managed a few outings, so long Adrien's bodyguard was around. It didn't matter much as they had had fun at the park just chatting and playing around.

But the new school year had arrived and even if Marinette was somewhat disappointed she still had to deal with Chloe, who had become more obnoxious to deal with, at least she still had her friends around.

"Are you two rambling about another cartoon?" Alya raised her eyebrow at them once they reached the classroom, Marinette taking the seat next to her "you condone him way too much."

"He has a few good choices from time to time" Marinette smiled, ignoring Adrien's fake gasp of horror.

Their smiles quieted down once the teacher arrived, the entire classroom going silent as she started her lesson. Ms. Mendeleiev was strict and stern, and her class was quiet unless there were topic related questions, but Adrien happened to like them.

Even if sometimes they were interrupted by Ms. Mendeleiv ruthlessness at distracted students.

"Nathaniel!" they all heard the slam on the desk at the end of the classroom "what are you drawing?"

Oh, Marinette winced, trying to keep her vision ahead instead of giving into the curiosity of looking back. She had been there once, never tried again. But now that Nathaniel was the victim she couldn't help but to feel sorry for him and Ms. Mendeleiv's wrath.

Suddenly there was a gasp and Nathaniel tripped and fell in between the tables, his sketchbook flying out of his bag, only for it to be picked up by the least considerate person in the classroom.

"Ooh! Look Sabrina! It's him as a superhero" Chloe sneered while holding the sketchbook "and look who is saving, Marinette! He's so totally crushing on you."

Marinette felt her cheeks flush, from embarrassment or annoyance at Chloe she couldn't tell, but this was getting out of hand.

"Back to class then," Ms. Mendeleiv walked to the front of the classroom to continue on the physics lecture, the class going back to paying attention and taking notes.

"Alright, presentation groups," she turned around to face them and Marinette wanted so bad to protest against the idea. Why did teachers like to do group projects so much?

She listened as the teacher named groups of three, frowning when Alya got paired with Adrien and Nino.

"So lucky," she mumbled.

"And then, Sabrina, Chloe and Marinette."

Marinette felt the universe piling against her just for this.

"So unlucky," Alya patted her back.

"Miss? Can't you add her to another group?" Chloe asked "Sabrina and I work much better on our own."

'Sure you do' Marinette gritted her teeth.

"This is a group presentation not pairs, deal with it."

Marinette felt that message also thrown at her as the bell rang for free period. That would have been a good opportunity to work on said presentation but Marinette was so not dealing with it.

"It'll be ok" Adrien threw her a reassuring smile "Chloe is a handful but I know you got this."

"Then why don't you switch with me?" Marinette pouted "or you Alya?"

"Oh no, do not make me go through that," Alya patted her shoulder again "but hey we can have comfort pizza after it's done."

"Oh that would be good," she sighed "but go on, I'll go find…them."

Adrien gave her a reassuring squeeze and left the classroom, leaving Marinette to sigh and drag herself to the lockers where she would probably find those two.

And oh she was right as she stumbled on them talking, or more like Sabrina saying she and Marinette would do all the work.

Say what?

"Is everything ok?"

The next minutes were a test of patience for Marinette. Not only did she find out that Sabrina did all the work and Chloe did nothing, but that it was normal? What in the world was that kind of friendship?

"Sabrina," Marinette turned to her "Chloe is totally taking advantage of you, you don't have to do what she says, that's not how a real best friend acts!"

"And what would you know about best friends if you hadn't had one before? Or even worse, stealing them."

Marinette gritted her teeth.

"Friends are not objects Chloe,"

"Whatever," Chloe tossed her ponytail to a side "but Sabrina knows I'm her only friend, so she better does as I say because without me? She's nothing."

Marinette felt her blood boil, even as Chloe left them to get her hair done.

The nerve of that girl, she huffed as she grabbed her bag. She would get to work at home thank you very much.

"Marinette!"

Or not, she thought as she turned around to find Sabrina catching up to her.

"I can't believe you stood up to Chloe like that!" Sabrina hugged Marinette "it was so amazing!"

Marinette was at loss for words. She tried to smile back at Sabrina, only to end up roped into going to work to the library.

"This…is not how I imagined this day going at all," she sighed as she dragged her feet back to the library, noticing Tikki's small pats on her leg.

The next minutes weren't so bad on the other hand. Marinette found out that Sabrina was quite organized and had already started on dividing the project information for them to do equal parts of research.

Marinette grabbed a few books to get started, hoping this was not going to go downhill, only for her to eat up her words as she saw a fuming Chloe stomping her way towards their table. Well that was the shortest hair treatment ever.

And now she was a literal sandwich in between Chloe and Sabrina arguing. And hey she had never said the word slave, had she? And when had Chloe found time to go buy a new hat?

"You are trying to steal my friend from me, again, this time with homework."

Marinette actually blinked. Again? What did she mean again?

Her face must have been obvious to Chloe because she could tell the blonde's cheeks flushing as she crossed her arms and sneered, only to be attacked by hats falling on top of her.

Oh Marinette was glad an akuma was around to spare her the headache. The rest of the students flew the library as soon as a big hair dryer showed up to chase after Chloe, giving Marinette the chance to sneak behind a shelf to transform.

She jumped to the dryer that had cornered Chloe and yelled at her to run. The dryer was fighting against her, trying to throw her away like one of those mechanical bulls she had seen on tv.

"I got wind that you're being blown away by a hairy situation" she heard Chat's voice from one of the shelves.

On any other day she'd have been surprised by the three puns in one single sentence but today was not her day.

"Fewer puns, more action!" she yelled as she kept trying to reign in the dryer.

It took work and a few tumbled shelves but they managed to destroy it, only to find the akuma from above them running away after summoning a crystal wall to smack them both.

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know but he sure has a way of illustrating his point."

Ladybug groaned and stood up.

"Wow, was that one really bad or…?"

"Sorry Chat" she stood up "today is not my day."

"Ok so tone it down with the puns" he said "I guess we should go find Chloe…"

"Great" Ladybug frowned "more time with her, just what I need."

"Hey, she's not so bad- "Chat flinched at her stare "well, she didn't use to be this bad."

Ladybug pointed at the window for them to make their way to Chloe's hotel. It was also a good way to keep up the conversation without anyone else listening and piecing together the information.

"Look, I get it" Ladybug said once they reached the building in front of the hotel, her hands on her waist as she tried to calm down "she is your childhood friend and that is something special."

"Well she was my only friend back then," Chat added.

"But you have seen her at school now," she said "you have seen how she treats others and me, especially me, especially now that I think she hates me because we're friends."

"That's a little farfetched," Chat raised an eyebrow "I'm allowed to have more friends and she doesn't hate Nino either."

Ladybug deadpanned stared at him.

"She accused me of wanting to steal Sabrina from her," she pointed out "and said 'again' and now that I think about it, she probably meant you."

"Ah…" he rubbed his neck "yeah, Chloe can be a little possessive about it."

Ladybug sighed, this was not the time to have this type of conversation.

"I'll talk to her, as Adrien of course," he offered with a smile "I mean I might know a little of why she's like this now but it's not my place to say."

"Why are you such a noble guy" she gave him a small smile "but I believe you, now let's find out what has she done to be target of an akuma" she threw her yo-yo "again."

The interrogation was really going nowhere, Chat could tell from the lack of attention Chloe was giving them and Ladybug's rising annoyance.

He couldn't exactly blame her for that, he knew Chloe was well, a lot to handle but also that it wasn't a fair excuse to the situation. Chat sighed, feeling really stuck between the two girls. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of Chloe totally fangirling over Ladybug and how would she react if she knew it was Marinette behind the mask. Of course he was never going to say that but it did make him ponder on what he had heard ever since he started school.

And while he was a little afraid of what would happen, he knew deep inside he had to. He knew why Chloe was like that, but he also knew she didn't have to be.

"Ugh seriously? I'm over this!" Ladybug said, snapping his attention back to her "let's go!"

"Wow," he went after her "are you kidding? And what if the Evillustrator attacks her again?"

"Fine, you stay," she grumbled "but I just can't right now."

"Bug," he held her hand "maybe you need to chill a little first."

"Yeah," she groaned "I'll be back in a while, I promise."

"I know" he squeezed her hand "just, take some deep breaths,"

"Hm" she stood on the balcony and threw her yo-yo "later!"

Ladybug made her way back home, detransforming as soon as she landed on her bed.

"Argh!" she groaned and threw her bag, wincing when she heard Tikki's complaint.

"Hey!"

"Sorry Tikki it's just, Chloe she just agh!"

"Well simmer down" Tikki frowned "a hot head isn't going to get you anywhere,"

"It's hard to keep my cool" Marinette sighed "especially at school…oh no! Sabrina!"

Ah damn it, Marinette launched for her phone, wincing at the many missed calls she had from the red haired girl.

Ok, she could fix this. She could send a text, tell she ran because of the akuma –that was still on the loose- and figure out the next part from there, until she saw Tikki hiding under a cushion and her window disappearing like it had been erased from existence.

Marinette's day couldn't get any better as she was face to face with the Evillustrator who started to flatter her? Ok, that was something new to her. But it was until she got a card that the pieces clicked in her mind. Nathaniel was the Evillustrator. Oh, oh probably from the embarrassment of class.

"Ok," she sat back on her chaise "I think I know how to solve this out."

Chat looked out of the window, vigilant in case the akuma showed up and also thinking about the situation at hand. He couldn't of course talk to Chloe as Chat, what reason would he have to know what had happened?

"Oh Chat Noir?" he blinked as Chloe attached herself to him "are you any good at particle physics?"

"Oh this cat's got particle physics in the bag" Chat smiled. He could totally show off his strength for science beneath the mask. Next thing he knew he had Chloe's work on his lap for her to relax instead.

Ok, he was so going to talk to her after all of this is done.

It was lucky that Ladybug decided to call him and give him an opening to excuse himself out to the balcony.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks Chat, sorry for leaving you stranded,"

"No sweat bug" he smiled "so are you coming back?"

"Actually no, found out about our victim, turns out he is sort of in love with me,"

Something felt funny in Chat's stomach. Huh, maybe he needed to eat something.

"So I kind of make him promise not to hurt Chloe unless I go to his birthday party."

"Ah, I see your master weaving of plans," he ignored Chloe's shoving of her papers at him "I'll meet you there then."

He waved a salute to Chloe and vaulted himself towards the bakery, just in time to see an upset Sabrina walking away.

"Do I need to save you from her claws as well?"

"Very funny" she flicked his bell "I should be working on the physics project instead but a promise is a promise so if we want to help Nathaniel I have to go to this date."

"Right," Chat twitched at the odd sensation in his stomach "say, before that, can I please have a pastry? My stomach is feeling empty I think."

Marinette sighed with a smile and went back inside to the bakery, appearing moments later with a chocolate filled croissant for him.

"Thanks b— Marinette," he stuffed the croissant in his mouth before he called her by a usual nickname "so you work on taking away his pencil and I'll do the rest."

"Sure thing Chat."

Chat went on his way to the rooftops close to the river, staking out as he saw the Evillustrator working on a quite romantic date setting.

His stomach felt iffy again. Ugh, maybe he needed to eat something better than just a pastry. But he would have to wait until after this was done. He watched closely as the purple silhouette showed up on the akuma's face.

'Huh, bet Hawkmoth is getting impatient' Chat thought as he watched what seemed to be a struggle of one person, only for it to stop as Marinette arrived.

Chat trusted her with his life, but whenever it involved risking their civilian selves well, Chat was a little dubious about it all. Not that he didn't trust her protecting herself but there was always something unexpected.

He jumped across rooftops when the boat started to move, making sure he was low enough to be hidden from sight until he got a chance to sneak to the back of the boat.

"I actually draw a little too, I'm not as good as you are of course," he heard Marinette say, as part of their plan to retrieve the pencil. He took a small step back, but the wood creaked enough for the akuma to notice his presence.

"Marinette, give me my pencil back, I need to draw something, now!" his tone was cold and Chat was close to just jumping on him to stop him from hurting Marinette.

"No, I'm keeping it, Chat Noir now!"

He launched his baton as Marinette jumped out of the way, pencil in her hand.

"I thought you liked me!" he sneered "but you really are just like Chloe, teasing me, mocking me, leading me on!"

'Wow, first of all when had that happened?' Chat thought as Marinette huffed offended at his words, only for both to get trapped by a crystal cube falling on top of them.

"Well that went well," Chat poked at the cube's end, blinking away the light from Marinette's transformation "you have another plan?"

"Yeah" Ladybug pointed at the ceiling and held on to him "now extend your stick vertically,"

"Oh, brilliant!" he held her close and did just that, both landing on the bridge as the boat sank on the river "so I think we should probably go save Chloe…"

"Hm," Ladybug sighed "am I really like her?"

"Well if I have to compare" Chat took a step away from her "you both sure are stubborn when you put your mind into something."

"Should I take that as a compliment?"

"Hey I did say I was going to talk with her after all of this is over" he waved his hands in self-defense "but now I gotta ask, did Nathaniel and Chloe ever…?"

Ladybug threw out her yo-yo to start moving towards the hotel, knowing Chat would be right by her side "yeah, before you arrived, they didn't date if that's what you think but let's just say the rejection lacked a lot of touch."

"Yeoch"

"Yeah, but let's go save her" she said once they reached the hotel room, just in time to see a giant high heel shoe chasing after her.

Ladybug swiped in first, breaking the heel of the drawing and spinning her yo-yo as a shield.

"Oops, broke your heel" she smiled "better watch your ankles."

"Don't want to get instep with us now, do you?" Chat twirled his baton, casting a glance at Ladybug who smiled at his joke.

The fight that ensued was a little higher in stakes with Evillustrator able to draw practically anything, soon having Chat hanging off a chunk of missing floor with a weigh pulling him down and his ring beeping the alert of detransformation.

"Lucky charm!" she yelled out as a small bouncy ball fell on her hand.

"Just try and stop me with that little lady!" the Evillustrator sneered, making his way towards Chat. Ladybug looked at her surroundings and smiled, her plan formulating as she threw it directly at one light, causing a chain reaction that destroyed all illumination sources from the room and allowing her to easily snap away the pencil that had the akuma.

She smiled as the magic washed all over the room, leaving it as if nothing had happened, and fist bumped with Chat.

"Well that's one thing solved" Ladybug said after they had left Nathaniel near his home "now I have to go fix my part of the project before Sabrina thinks I'm an evil person."

"Good luck" Chat smiled "see you tomorrow bug."

He waved at her and vaulted his way back to the hotel, detransforming before going in and up towards Chloe's room.

"Adrikins!" she jumped at him the moment she opened "oh it was a nightmare! A disaster I say!"

"What happened?" he feigned ignorance, as if he hadn't been few minutes ago in the room. He listened how Chloe overreacted and exaggerated the fight, trying his best not to pull a face at it until she was done. If he was going to do this, he had to do this right.

"Say Chloe," he said once she slumped herself on a chaise "you didn't have to call out Nathaniel like that at school."

Chloe raised an eyebrow at him.

"I mean; imagine how you would feel if someone were to do that to you."

"Adrikins please" she looked at her nails "no one would even dare to try and embarrass me."

"Then why do you?" he crossed his arms "why do you do it?"

Chloe remained silent, looking at her nails and deliberately ignoring him. That was fine, Adrien was patient, he could wait.

"Ugh!" she stomped a foot down "say something already!"

"I'm waiting for your answer Chloe" he merely said "why do you enjoy hurting them?"

"I don't enjoy ugh" she pushed her hair to a side "if I want to keep my place as the Queen, they have to know to respect me."

"Chloe" he sighed "we aren't a monarchy, and you and I both know this is not going to work for the real reason."

"Don't you mention her,"

"I am not" Adrien stood up and sat next to her "but Chloe, I know you since we were little kids, I was there when your first baby tooth fell" he ignored Chloe's frown "and you were there when I had mine fall off as well, you weren't this way back then nor when we are alone, so why act so different at school?"

"You don't get it Adrien," she huffed.

"Then help me get it" he tried again "I want to still be your friend Chloe, I really do, but just as you have Sabrina I have new friends too."

Chloe rolled her eyes "yeah, I am well aware of that."

"You still are my first friend; no one can take that away from us," he smiled "and I want my friends to get to know the real you, not the Chloe Bourgeois that wants to fill shoes she shouldn't."

Chloe looked to a side and Adrien knew he had got to her, at least a little. There were things both knew weren't good, what with his father's distancing and Chloe's own shadows to fight, but Adrien had hope. Faith was the last thing to fade and he still believed in Chloe.

"I have to go now" he stood up "I kind of sneaked my way here but, can I trust you to not throw my words away?"

"You are way too good Adrien" she looked at him "but I will…ugh, try a little."

"Thanks Chloe" he gave her a hug and left the room, transforming as soon as he was in an alley to rush back home.

The next day was proof that some of his words did resonate in Chloe, as he arrived to the locker room to find her discussing something with Marinette. He couldn't help but to sneak a little behind her locker to catch some of that conversation.

"This is my part of the presentation" she said "and Sabrina told me you sent yours late night,"

"Yeah I was held up helping but-"

"What matters" Chloe interrupted her "is that you did your part and I did mine, Sabrina,"

"Yes Chloe?"

"Make sure it is top notch for later so we can get a good grade, and you better not stutter during the presentation Marinette or you'll be sorry."

"Of course Chloe," Sabrina followed after her, Adrien noticing the small smile in Chloe's face as they walked to the classroom.

Marinette sighed and closed the door, only to yelp as she saw Adrien leaning against it.

"Don't do that!" she held her hand to her chest.

"Sorry, couldn't help it" he smiled "but hey, how did things work out?"

"Way better than I thought" Marinette yawned "at least there wasn't any screaming."

"Told you so" Adrien nudged her "think it'll last the day?"

"At least until Alya stops pestering her for an interview of what happened yesterday" Marinette smiled "shall we?"

Adrien smiled and walked with her to the classroom. He had a feeling things were going to change from now on.

[dulcetcries-blog]

hello ! i’m really on brand with the whole posting a day and a half later ! below the cut in no particular order are a collection of four people who populate autumn valley ! they’re not very long because i’m still fleshing them out but i’ve added a couple of wanted connections below all of them that will hopefully be some good jumping off points for deeper connections & help build out their stories a little bit !

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of death ( maeve harrow, jack ellis ) 

★.⁙⁓ kat mcnamara, cis female, she/her, pansexual. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own maeve harrow ! she is a twenty five year old manager and a taurus. maeve can be found at hecate’s fire and their favorite autumn activity is going apple picking.

maeve has always believed in the occult, since she was just a little girl. 

her father claimed to know the warrens ( who the conjuring is based on ) and she’s always wanted to know more about the things that exist beyond this world.

little girls with wide imaginations oft have a tendency to explore what should be left alone, and mae knows all this quite well.

her dad passed when she was about six and she tried to use spirit boards to contact him. 

she was seven when she convinced herself that the board had actually worked, but it was also broken and shoved in the trash when she’d come home after school and had told her entire grade that she’d gotten it to work. 

she was a relatively mediocre student throughout school but mae always understood the importance of a good hustle and has always had at least two side hustles running. 

when she was a sophomore in high school, she got in trouble for selling canned soda a dollar cheaper than the vending machines. when she was a junior she had graduated to selling whatever fad pyramid scheme her mother had gotten involved in. 

they were never particularly wealthy, which might also contribute to why mae always wanted to have some kind of money making scheme going. 

funny thing, that feeling of desire; hunger grows deeply in one’s soul long after its been placated in the stomach.

she moved into her own apartment after her mother died about three years ago. mae was the only one who attended her funeral and it’s put some fear in her that she, too, will one day die alone.

she took to hecate’s hearth the moment it opened, always pestering zephyr for a job until they gave her one. 

she always desired a place to belong and the readings that they did for her meant the world and what was once considered a stepping stone now a secondary home, one she hopes to be as permanent as possible. 

wanted connections:

roommate ⋅ of any gender, this person more than likely responded to an ad mae had placed online and in the town newsletter. it wasn’t a particular long process from the time she met this person to the time they moved in, they clicked well and had a good enough understanding before signing the lease with her. 

platonic soulmate since high school ⋅ this is someone that mae was friends with in high school and has maintained an extremely tight relationship with. though they’re not living together ( they tried that once fresh out of high school and it’s safe to say they’ll never do that again ), they are the person that mae considers they’re rock and would fight to the death for. 

★.⁙⁓ phoebe tonkin, demi female, she/her & they/them, pansexual. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own charlotte james ! they are a twenty seven year old tattoo artist and a libra. charlie can be found at indelible ink and their favorite autumn activity is pumpkin carving. { written by hannah }

charlie comes from a family with deadbeat parents and seven children and if you don’t think that toughens up somebody then you’re damn wrong. 

they’ve been working two jobs ever since they could remember, early mornings before school and well into the evenings after. after they left high school, they began an apprenticeship at indelible ink here in town and that’s been their primary source of income for the last seven-ish years.

they still keep up a season job at the briarpatch farms, helping out with all of their fall related activities so if they seem like a chicken with their head cut off some days, that would be why. 

while chris takes some care of their parents, charlie wants Nothing to do with them and only really cares about their siblings. 

they are their world and charlie will fight for them and their happiness until the day that they die. and if you think that’s some melodrama you are damn well wrong.

they honestly live in a lowkey shitty apartment but they’d rather save their money and scraping by for now is better than living in a nice place and then suddenly having it taken away from you with no warning.

charlie is ,,, extremely scared of stability and permanence, even though they crave it. they’re scared that they’re going to have something nice and all of a sudden it���s going to be gone, like they’ve put all of this work towards a happiness that they can’t eventually have.

wanted connections:

roommates ⋅ whether or not they actually see charlie often is something to be questioned, charlie is a courteous roommate. no major loud noises, especially not past ten pm or before eight am, no wild parties, no drugs, nothing. granted, charlie doesn’t give a fuck what their roommate does so long as they don’t lose the security deposit on the apartment. 

friends with benefits ⋅ charlie is terrified of permanence and keeping this person at an arm’s length away is something that tracks for that kind of mentality. 

★.⁙⁓ chris hemsworth, cis male, he/him, bisexual. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own jackson ellis ! he is a forty one year old mayor and a leo. jack can be found at crichton’s manor and their favorite autumn activity is throwing a halloween party at the mayoral manor. { written by hannah } * business subject to change !

jack has been mayor for the last three and a quarter-ish years and has lived in autumn valley his whole life.

before he was mayor he was the owner and primary manager for red’s tavern, now he just owns the place and stops by for a drink of his own every once in a while. 

he’s placed the business in the capable hands of his sister, the second oldest ellis child after jack himself.

the tavern has been in the family for generations and jack was always proud to own it. he was conscious to get to know a lot of people that way and even though it maintains a dive bar aesthetic, you’ll be hard pressed to find a cleaner bathroom or better junk food.

when he was setting up his mayoral campaign, he got a lot of votes because of his proximity to the people of the town through the bar, which is something he’s been conscious to make especially family friendly. 

lots of people had known him since he was little and even though he ran nearly unopposed, he was a fine breath of fresh air.

he’s ,,, disgustingly warm, honestly. he’s a single father of three children ( ages 16, 19, and 21 -- the eldest two are playable ! ) and he has five younger siblings of his own. 

big families are something that he’s always known and adored. the holiday season means the world to him and he always starts preparing for halloween in september ( though he is incredibly conscious about making sure he doesn’t skip thanksgiving in his excitement for christmas ).

wanted connections:

personal assistant ⋅ this is the person who helps jack find his head every morning. they know the ins and outs of his personal life and help him with just about everything he need, from making sure he gets his coffee in the morning to picking up his kids from school. they’re treated like a member of the ellis family and jack trusts them with his life. 

his flirtationship ⋅ this is someone that jack is progressively warming up to ( for as much warmer as a man like jack can get ). whether or not this grows into something more is something that we can plot out, but he’s extremely hesitant to start anything serious given that he’s concerned about his kids, his dedication to the town, and not actually being able to make time for the person he gets romantically involved with. preferably filled by someone 27+ and can be any gender. 

★.⁙⁓ sarah jeffery, cis female, she/her, sexuality. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own belinda matthews ! she is a twenty five year old tour guide and a cancer. belle can be found at crichton manor and their favorite autumn activity is getting lost in a corn maze. { written by hannah }

belinda matthews is the daughter of a pair of lawyers, cecelia and andrew matthews. 

the matthews were well into their thirties by the time they’d had their first child, both of them on their second marriage, but neither one lacking in love for their daughter.

belle always knew she was loved and for that kind of home she will always be thankful. the relationship that she has with her parents is built on a deep foundation of trust and respect, something that she’s observed is not true for most of her friends her age. 

given this extremely tight relationship, she’s always been a rather confident kid and that translated to her schoolwork, too. 

her parents were lawyers and she wanted to follow in their footsteps as best as she could. 

it was at school that belle was reminded of how sincerely she loved history and she switched relatively early on from any kind of criminal justice or pre-law track to a history track.

she’s currently in her final year of her master’s degree, though she’s not totally sure what she’s going to do with it. 

she took up a job at crichton manor about two years ago to put a little extra cash in her pocket while she was working on her degrees and she absolutely loves giving tours around town.

wanted connections:

i’m lowkey a little burnt out but fuck me up, belle makes close connections easily !

[bakudekuficlibrary]

Heelloo! This blog is absolutely wonderful. Before sleep, I always come to look for a fanfic based on the lists and it's very helpful. I can't help but sleep like a bear after reading a good fic recommended in this blog. Hope you continuee! And alsoo I have a request... if there is any fic with a jelly Kacchan, but a frequently jealous Kacchan. Because I love reading that type of scenes. Hope you answer meee, thankk youuu!!! ;;;

Hi! Thank you so much for the kind words, and I’m so sorry for the wait! Here’s a link to the Jealous Kacchan mini-list, just in case you haven’t seen it yet. Hmm… I think possessive behavior fics have a lot of Jealous Kacchan moments, so here’s a mini-list! (Some fics are tagged with both “Jealous Bakugou Katsuki” and “Possessive Behavior,” so you will see some works listed on here that were already listed in the other mini-list!)

-Ellie

20 Works.

Before Midnight by DriftingGlass ( E | 211,528 | 28/28 )

Izuku Midoriya takes the same train to and from school Monday through Friday, morning and night. His only company during these lonesome hours comes in the form of another boy his age—a teen with scarred hands and blood gem eyes, a stranger with ash-blond hair who walks in a shroud of danger and mystery.

“Would you stop with that fucking muttering, idiot?”

And before Izuku can find his footing, his life becomes a full-blown collision course thanks to walking cannonball Katsuki Bakugou.

(And along the way he may have found the missing fuel to his fire).

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Emotional/Psychological Abuse | Attempted Sexual Assault]

[Abandoned] Alexithymia by DriftingGlass ( M | 61,246 | 10/11 )

It’s as if he’s inhaling a breath of snow and ashes—a shock and choke in his throat, strangely reminiscent of the day he realized that the birthmark blooming on his shoulder was identical to the drawings on his childhood friend’s desk.

Now, twelve years later, it only confirms Izuku’s impending doubts that, yes, he is now legally claimed by Katsuki Bakugou.

[ THIS FIC HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. ]

[Underage]

[On Hiatus] Lost Omega by GreyDayMoon ( Not Rated | 36,940+ | 12/? )

Izuku was just trying to take care of himself and his mother but a single slip up sends him into unfamiliar territory where he encounters an aggressive alpha who drags him into tribe life.

*On temporary Hiatus*

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Dub-Con]

[On Hiatus] And He Was Magnificent by Skaii, SugarbabyIzuku ( E | 4,134+ | 1/? )

Midoriya Izuku is an omega slave, born into a life of subservience. He’s trapped, never to reach his dreams of something more; until he’s thrust headfirst into the world of Bakugou Katsuki, the crown prince of Incendium Kingdom. Now, Izuku must adjust to a new life as Katsuki’s slave—while a war that threatens to shake the land looms on the horizon.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

[On Hiatus] Quirkless by InkHound ( M | 29,444+ | 6/? )

Izuku’s heartbroken at the tender age of four— the doctors have confirmed he is quirkless. But the truly crushing blow is when not long afterward, little Izuku has a chance meeting with his number one hero; All Might, who tells him that without a quirk, he can’t be a hero (it’s just too dangerous).

Later that night, Izuku is watching his favorite All Might video in a daze. He puts the question to his mother; can he still be a hero, without a quirk? He watches as she freezes up, pale-faced and wet-eyed before she rushes to his side and speaks in a trembling, tear-filled voice;

“Oh baby, my sweet baby ‘zuku,” she says through her tears, “Of course you can.”

And everything changed.

[Underage]

The Bonds that Bind Us by DMMegsie ( M | 28,298+ | 5/? )

Travelling with his trading caravan, Izuku is on his way home when they stumble across an already heated battle in the middle of an open field in the dead of night. Being mistaken as part of attacking party, Izuku finds himself fighting off the fabled Demon King of the Mountains of Fire.

However, during the battle, Izuku breaks a necklace on the Demon King that held an unspoken promise from his mother from long ago, which changes everything.

Nothing ever as it seems, nor is it simple. As an omega of elven descent, Izuku has a lot to learn about the greater world and himself. The same could be said of the half dragon lord of the mountain.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Rape/Non-Con]

Oubaitori by DriftingGlass ( M | 32,666+ | 4/16 )

From the moment he was born, Izuku understood that he was different. He was a rarity, an omega; not necessarily seen as useful or even desirable. It didn’t take long, however, for his entire future to be placed in the hands of an alpha, one by the name of Katsuki Bakugo.

Through many pitfalls, confusion, and pains of growing up in a city where both are outcasts of their own kind, it takes more than just the threads of instinct and arranged contracts to bring two hearts together.

Love isn’t fate. It’s pure luck.

[Underage]

Mark Me Up by Flightless_Bird ( T | 1,674 | 1/1 )

Katsuki’s gaze cut into him again like a lightning bolt and it took Izuku a second to realize what the tilt of the blonde’s head meant: come here.

Hero & Zero by GreyDayMoon ( Not Rated | 8,493+ | 4/? )

Bakugou was the number one hero, surrounded by fans, and loaded with fame and fortune. So why would he care if a boy from his childhood still watched him from the edge of crowds? He wouldn’t give a shit about Deku who would? Who would even be looking for that stupid messy green hair?

Except maybe he would.

The Only One Who Can Make You… by TitanOrphanAnnie ( E | 898 | 1/1 )

PWP One-Shot about some fooling around after class that ends up fluffier than Kaachan was prepared for.

Possessive fuck by Thetrash ( E | 2,585 | 1/1 )

Izuku has a study date with Shoto and Katsuki decides to fuck him before he leaves.

[Dub-Con]

Aphiemi by DriftingGlass ( G | 9,591 | 1/1 )

[ Aphiemi - “to send for one’s self, to forsake, to hurl away, to disregard, to put off.” ]

Emotions are incredibly difficult to control and formulate the way you want to. For one Katsuki Bakugou, he’s made mistakes and placed assumptions on one person he realizes he cannot bear to live without, no matter how much he simultaneously detests and adores the little shithead.

Gagging For It by sagequit ( E | 3,006+ | 2/? )

Bakugou discovers that Midoriya has a bit of an oral fixation. Shameless PWP.

SeriesPart 1 of Bakudeku Filth

[Underage]

Soft Spots by Saysi ( E | 38,613+ | 18/? )

Midoriya and Bakugou don’t have the best of relationships - except when they find themselves alone.

Bakugou quickly finds himself developing a soft spot for the nerd.

Happy birthday Midoriya!

[Underage]

Fake It Till I Make You Mine by AnimeLoversInTown ( E | 8,514+ | 3/? )

All Katsuki wanted was to get away from people and eat his lunch in peace. How is it that after only two short minutes of blissful silence, he suddenly had to deal with Deku bawling, got suckered into listening to his problems, and wound up with a boyfriend? Ah well, at least he wasn’t bored.

[Underage]

Miko!!! by Hermaphrodite ( T | 30,110+ | 6/? )

Izuku isn’t really sure, but hes pretty certian in his past life he must have been a terrible person, maybe a heretic that had a cult following and went on a mass murder spree that cost people their lives or something, because there is no way that the gods could hate him this much for absolutely no reason besides existing. Firstly, he was born as a Omega, almost a second class citizen at this point if he was going to be honest with himself, and now at the age of four being branded Quirkless by doctors who were giving his mother looks of pity that clearly read that they thought just what society has conditioned them to think. To them, he was a quirkless, useless omega.Just because you live in a world where everyone has superpowers and you don’t doesn’t mean you aren’t any less of a hero! World be damned! They’ll just have to watch me do it!(Quirkless Omega Izuku accidentally summons Tamamo-No-Mae and becomes a DemiServant, and now with her power he will shape the world and show everyone Omegas can be Heroes! and well, Kaachan just wants everyone to stop staring at his Deku)

Where the Stars Burn Brightest by DriftingGlass ( M | 18,467+ | 3/? )

In a world where countries are torn asunder through quests for greed, power, and understanding the realm of industrial technology and ancient magic, only the strongest—and smartest—live a full life.

Every individual is born with a phrase marking their bodies, linking them to their soulmate through the threads of fate and time.

Izuku Midoriya is born with only half of a soulphrase on his wrist, destined to never meet the other half. A cruel omen.

Though this has not stopped Izuku from dedicating his young life to researching soul-born magic and science under his master, the legendary Toshinori Yagi. He is determined to manifest his Quirk, with or without a destined soulmate.

However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he rescues a volatile criminal—a man of savage beauty and many secrets.

And so, Izuku realizes rather quickly that in his dangerous new quest, only the most willful survive, and if his new companion is anything to show for it, nothing will prepare him for what’s to come.

[ Rewrite of The Rhythm of Fire and Wind ]

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Past Abuse]

I Like You Deku, damn it by AjhayLee ( T | 8,364 | 1/1 )

Bakugou Katsuki dreams about his past self as a prince and liking his attendant childhood friend. The thing is, he couldn’t confess his feelings and he wasn’t able to tell him. Upon realizing that he also like the present Midoriya in the process, he does what his past self couldn’t do the fourth time he woke up from the dream.

[Major Character Death]

class act by savedetonate (neverlasting) ( E | 1,696 | 1/1 )

Katsuki is riled up and feeling petty, and Izuku is looking too good to ignore.

[Underage]

Consumed by youreroad ( M | 5,209+ | 3/? )

Izuku and Katsuki had known each other since they where kids. They have their ups and downs and even had a fall out during middle school but in the end they are best friends. Even with Katsuki’s abrassive personality Izuku knows Katsuki cares for him.

He just has no idea to what extent.

In which Izuku tries to date and Katsuki is consumed by his obsession.