#but goddam is this stupid advice

[bigbadlesbiab]

are we fucking for real

[minzart]

I wanna bring great roommates au back so here we go.

I can see the great seven HATING Crowley. Just because he gives Yuu a stupid amount of work. ALSO would the great seven still help the dorm leaders (Jamil also) get Yuus attention??

Crowley: *breaking down the door* YUU I NEED-

The great seven, all turning to look at him slowly: Yuu's busy.

Crowley: But-

The great seven: Yuu’s busy.

Asks are closed for the aus

XD

Nope, they would warm up to the boys, but no they wouldn't help, they are Yuu's Roommates, they like Yuu more, and they aren't bound to the boys nor do they know much about them except what is said around the school

They mostly judge and roast them with Yuu honestly

If the boys ever think of going for help? It's going to be one hell of a training, with useless advice to end with the seven saing "actually, just be yourself it's more effective"

They would troll the boys, if they ever got a perfect planned date in mind, most of the times it's going to be ruined by them, however ruined is such a strong world, let's say it got , funnier, and it may even help the boys relax and that is a better way to Yuu's heart than any

For one day, Riddle decided to relax, invinting Yuu over to tea, normal, simple, routinely, nothing much honestly, just some quality time with them, but when he poured tea, white petals come out instead

And soon after the tea pot erupted roses, white and red ones, flooding the little area with the sent of spring, poor boy was panicking and almost exploding a nerve when he heard the lively laugh of his dearest prefect

"It's so pretty!" They exclaimed falling again in the soft bed of roses

The queen of hearts similes at the sing of the two, a little nice thing for them wouldn't hurt, her little magicless human always wanted to know what a bed of roses felt like, and the red haired boy needed a nice memory of his own involving roses, ah, if only they were only red, but life isn't perfect

For Leona summer is the best day to strike, after all , the savanaclaw dorm has a lake for a reason doesn't it? So why not use it for his advantage?

The hot weather was killing him and he wouldn't get up, why do all the walking when you have s very eager puppy to fo your work after all~

That's what he though... until Jack took too long to come back... it's as they say if want something done right, do it yourself

He arrived at Ramshackle... only to find the first year gang "cleaning" the dorm, wich is only an excuse to let the headmaster lend the key for the water hose

"A friend suggest this plan, I think you would like him y'know, you both have a lot in comum~"

"... I'm not doing your dirty work prefect, if you ever got tired of so much working you know were to find me-"

And water is thrown at him

"Herbivore..."

"I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME"

he will retaliate in double >:)

Meanwhile scar is enjoying the view of the cubs playing a hose hanging by his side oh so casually

For Azul is at the closing hours of mostro louge, the calming atmosphere, the serene music, all perfect for a intimate moment, he has been practicing his introduction all week please work, few guests, and of course, Yuu, alone.

He was making his way all elegant with full chest in pride... for a wave of splash from the tanks to soak him... cortesy of our dear friend Flotsan and Jetsan

Saying that he's upset it's an understatement he's furious , and Yuu isn't helping he is seeing that amusing chuckle just bury him in shame already. AND WHERE ARE THE TWINS WHEN YOU NEED-

"There we go let's get up dry hehe" Yuu ofered him a hand up it's... not a mocking grin... more like an amusing smile... oh...

Ursula meanwhile is pondering it was too much gratefulness to let them go to his room or not, oh well, the little octopus just owns her then no biggie~

For Jamil is at the end of the basketball club, and practice was ending all well, until he slipped right when Yuu was coming in, and he would have stopped in time to not fall, but somebody had to thrown that goddamed ball again in his direction-

"Y'know a warning would be nice" Yuu said chuckling bellow him "or a "catch me!" That would work too! I would have caught you haha"

Jamil, burning bright as a strawberry decided to scream at who was responsible for that fucking ball... only to see... no-one there...

Meanwhile Jafar still got his aim and proudly spins the basketball in his index finger.

For Vil is at a sleepover, he had finaly got a alone moment with Yuu but of course that would be ruined bc he fucking lost his goddamned expansive makeup kit

So you both go searching for it all night, in the way you found diferent things around Ramshackle to the point you both kinda played dress up and had a good time

By the morning the kit was beside his door, a new black lipstick with a note in the most beautiful calligraphy he has ever seen, a "you're welcome" signed "Grimhilde"... he has never even heard of that name before

For Idia is at a gaming section, and the power went off, yes. Even the back up generators... in the whole building, so naturally he got mad and stressed but Ortho(?;) )'s voice made a small little reminder that perhaps the little prefect could, you know... have energy... and maybe they could hang out.

A brief mumbling the pros and cons he didn't even felt his little brothers arriving in his room and dragging him out, saing he got an invitation to Ramshackle, and li and behold there he goes!

Only for the power to go off again, but hey, you had board games, and he had a winning streak to continue in monopoli so it wasn't all that bad, and yeah, perhaps he did turned the room pink when your fingers brushed bug so what? It's not likehe will stay up all night thinking of that haha-

For Malleus is at one of yours strolls, he somehow tripped, something entered your path and he just, straight-up fell into your arms and you both to the lake, you never tough you could see him so red but hey!

You both had to dry off in your dorm for a while, else Sebek or godforbid Lilia when to smack/pep-talk you into manners even if it wasn't you fault per see. You both passed the time cooking, he was surprisingly good at following instructions and the home made ice-cream you both shared the next day

Half of it strangely disappeared, a small note beside it written "as exchange" with green like ink, sure you could have guessed that thing Malleus tried over looked like a crow but who knew Diablo could be that quick.

[heygerald]

A funny scenario for me is to imagine Colt acting kind of like a mediator between Parker and Tom if they’d ever have an argument (this is, a stupid one; if it’s something serious I’m sure he’d be on his little sis’ side); on set he’d try to get Tom to see Parker’s point of reason, and with Parker he’d discuss whatever is happening over a few drinks getting her to talk - the next day he’d watch out for Tom’s humor at work, to know if it worked or not. He’d know if they made up if Tom was less of a jerk to work with, and he’d also know because Tom would be in a much better mood (Colt would be hearing him talk to Parker on the phone like a lovesick teenager, and he’d groan if he saw a hickey or something on Tom’s neck, to which Jody would be laughing non stop at Colt)

No, but this is so what would happen when Colt finally accepted the fact that Parker and Tom were dating. He would begrudgingly have to slip into that role, and on more than one occasion he has to keep a straight face as both Tom and Parker vent to him about their relationship.

Tom definitely vented more than needed advice, and usually just talking it out was enough for him to see what the problem was, but on occasion he did actually need advice from Colt. Who, of course, would offer some insight into his sister no matter how begrudging her was to be dragged into it.

It works out pretty well considering how well he knows Parker, but there is one instance where he's an idiot, and his advice is absolutely the wrong advice, which results in both Tom AND Colt being in the doghouse. Even Jodi gets upset with him because how could he think that was a good idea? and on nights like that the boys drink together wondering how their both such idiots while also being made at the other one.

All in the all it works well. Though, Colt would never admit it. He hates the position, but goddam it if someone doesn't have to be the fairy godmother. At least this way he can try to emotionally blackmail Tom into naming their first kid after him.

Parker puts a big fat no way in hell to that, but Colt can dream.

[dragongodryss]

Fairy Tail Tumblr

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 (Sting) Follow

Its Pride month, you know what that means!

🗿DeathMetalBruh (Gajeel) Follow

No?

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

Do we slay gay dragons?

🌅SkyWatcher777 (Wendy) Follow

Please don't kill me

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

@DeathMetalBruh I prefer to slay dragons gayly. Your thing is stupid

Btw, are you a dragonslayer? So am I do we know each other irl?

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

@Bumblr-Bee69 Sting are you braindead?

🔥NinNinIconic (Natsu) Follow

So, you guys know how the earth is flat, right? Like, is the sun also flat? Do we even know? It'll burn your eyes if you look at it for too long, so there's no way to know

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

This had better be a shitpost

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

why would it be a shitpost

🌅SkyWatcher777 Follow

I thought the earth was round?

🐸Catlover (Rogue) Follow

Fun Fact: It's actually vaguely squished! But round is pretty close

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

@Catlover Nerd.

🐸Catlover Follow

@Bumblr-Bee69 I'm in your walls darling

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

Flattered but I have a boyfriend

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

@DeathMetalBruh Answer the question coward

🐸Catlover Follow

@NinNinIconic Because the earth is roundish Hope this helps

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

I need to kick someone's ass.

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

Update: I kicked her ass.

🌅SkyWatcher777 Follow

Romance side of Tumblr, I need help. I have a date in 30 minutes what do I do?

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

Assert dominance. Eat more than them. Drink more than them. Talk more than them. Dress up better. Hold doors open. Push their chair in. Ask more questions than them. Carry them if they let you. If someone else tries to talk to them, put them in their place. Take them home after (Good way of figuring out where they live)

🐸Catlover Follow

Don't do this.

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

Idk @Bumblr-Bee69 's advice sounds solid. I notice @Catlover failed to suggest an alternative. I know who I'm gonna trust.

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

This is how misinformation spreads. I hate tis goddam hellsite.

🐸Catlover Follow

@NinNinIconic @SkyWatcher777 If you're going out on a date with them, they're already interested. Do whatever it is you're doing and talk to them. Try actually listening too. Might help.

Other things that may help: Taking a shower first @Bumblr-Bee69 do it now. Clean clothes too

Not picking a fight with the waitstaff (always applicable when out)

Being a decent human being

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

@Catlover yo wft

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

@Catlover What If i did all those things while asserting dominance?

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

Yeah, that would work

🌅SkyWatcher777 Follow

Asserting dominance didn't work. My date's friend just called me and told me she doesn't want to see me if this is how I'm going to act.

🌅SkyWatcher777 Follow

Romance side of Tumblr, how do I get my friend to talk to me? I acted like a jerk during our date and she'd mad and I miss her.

🐸Catlover Follow

The one where you took the romance side of tumblr's advice?

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

No need to roast them, chill

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

Buy her chocolate, Show her the thread, and Apologize. Works for me.

🐸Catlover Follow

@Bumblr-Bee69 Not for long if you keep giving bad love advice like it's gospel.

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

Well, I have a boyfriend, and he's a total catch, so I'd say I'm doing something right.

🗿DeathMetalBruh Follow

I'll show him your shitty dating advice and this post and we'll see if you stll have a boyfriend.

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

Fuck you! he wouldn't be with me if my advice wasn't solid. @SkyWatcher777 probably fucked it up somehow

🐸Catlover Follow

@Bumblr-Bee69 Go do your dishes instead of trolling.

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

What kind of comeback is that, nerd? I bet there aren't even any dishes, my boyfriend probably did them already.

🌅SkyWatcher777 Follow

@Bumblr-Bee69's advice worked this time.

🔥NinNinIconic Follow

@Bumblr-Bee69 It's been 20 minutes, were there any dishes?

🐝Bumblr-Bee69 Follow

yea

Learned how to do this from this post

[smil3ym3]

I’m onto my second week of the new job now, got all mentally and physically prepared to head to probation this morning to meet this client I’ll be working with - Low and behold he didn’t turn up lol. So I just sat and worked from home. Training and death by PowerPoint. And then went off shopping and lunch with my brother and had a cheeky beer ☺️

In other news it turns out my daughter is 15 now, and has recently lost her virginity to her boyfriend (she didn’t tell me to my face btw, was via a crappy txt message) and has since asked me to put her on the pill (via txt message) and will not talk to my face, she is avoiding me at all god damn cost. Whilst I was out with my brother I met a woman who’d just had a daughter, her baby was 3 days old! I said, ‘good luck, they become cunts by the time they’re 15’ she just glared at me lol.

My daughter says ‘I can’t help it if I’m becoming an adult’ but then asks me for the measley pence I get from her dead beat, lying cheating cunt of a father - The CSA payments - As she’s going off to London with her friend and her friends mum in October. Well hun, if you’re becoming an adult, you can get a job ☺️ I began working when that kid was 10 days old, and I haven’t stopped, and this is how I get treated lol.

Then she asked me to pick up her order from New Look, as she doesn’t have ID, oh well sorry babes, you’ll have to apply for some, you know, now that you’re getting older, and want to be an adult.

I don’t enjoy hearing that she’s sexually active, I have tried my best to give her the ‘safe talk’ and the ‘consent talk’ and every other fucking goddam talk but no, she just wants to txt me from upstairs in her bedroom whilst I’m downstairs, staring at the stupid fucking training screen.

Then she suggested we need some time apart? Great, go and live with your father who doesn’t give a toss about you, and have sex under his roof, and see how far you get.

Anyone reading this, I must sound like such a bitch. But compared to my childhood, she is protected, cared for, gets everything she wants, I cook for her, take care of her when she’s ill, help her do her homework (that I don’t understand), offer her advice when all of her friends become pricks, - Y’kno basic Mum stuff?? I didn’t have any of that as a child? My mum just allowed my step dad to sexually abuse me for the best part of my childhood.

So I’m sorry that hearing that she is sexually active is very triggering for me.

Anyway, I’m off to Salisbury tomorrow to meet another potential client, I’ll probably drive there and it won’t happen just like today lol, but it is what it is, sometimes people just don’t want saving, or the help to be saved I guess.

[awkwardtortilla]

Hcs for when cami gets sad??? Xoxo

Awe hell yea

Sad!Camilo hcs

This was a lot less angsty than I had in mind but I still love it and loved writing it

warnings: sickeningly sweet; kinda heartbreaking; gender identity crisis; Camilo being a sad puppy; not proofread

It’s really obvious when Camilo’s upset

He mopes

It’s so goddam pitiful you can’t help but want to hold him

I mean you were gonna do it anyways but his sad puppy eyes and droopy head just make it more compelling

He’ll keep up an act for the crowds and the kids, smiling and playing

But as soon as he waves goodbye the grin fades and his shoulders slump and he crosses his arms across his chest

Yes Ik it’s very angsty teen

But it’s also very Camilo

He’s not gonna try to hide his feelings if he doesn’t feel like he needs to bc it seems stupid

Why would someone bottle up their feelings?

Why hide them?

That just creates more problems

And not the fun kind

So when you approach him and ask if everything’s alright he doesn’t try for a smile and nod his head

Camilo looks right at you and shakes his head with the saddest look it makes your heart ache

So you offer him your hand and lead him somewhere secluded

You sit down on a bench or the ground and either A) gently pull him onto your lap or B) let him sit next to you

It depends on the temperature and your moods

It doesn’t matter which position tho he’s still gonna curl up there and flop his head onto your shoulder which prolly hurts you both a lil but you don’t really mind as he nuzzles into you and breathes deep

You wrap your arm(s) around him, rest your chin on the top of his head, and trace the tips of your fingers up and down his arm(s)

Or you might do that to his back

Or you might rub his back

Or a combination of the above

But anyways

As Camilo heaves a sigh you quietly ask if he wants to talk about it

Welp I was gonna say that toward the beginning of your relationship he wouldn’t but I honestly don’t think it would matter

If he doesn’t need to get it out or if he doesn’t have the energy to talk about it then he shakes his head

So you’ll just chill there with him, comforting him wordlessly, pressing tender, loving kisses anywhere and everywhere

Neck, forehead, temple, hair, hands, arms, shoulders, everywhere

If he’s on your lap with his chest to yours you’ll slowly comb your hands thru his hair and twirl the ends around your fingers

Ayyyy mierda [shit]

Camilo loves every bit of it

He’s so goddam grateful for you and your endless affection

He loves that you aren’t pressing him for answers and instead just provide this silent but strong wall of comfort that he can lean on

Then again

Camilo will definitely talk to you

He trusts and loves you with all that he is and will have no issues with opening up

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times in all the other hcs and imagines and fanfics but a main cause of Camilo’s upset-ness is that ppl in town are always asking for him to be other ppl

No one asks for just Camilo

So he’s often left feeling unwanted and used

So you’re there to remind him that you and the other Madrigals love Camilo for Camilo

He’s more than his gift

Then another huge source of mopey behavior is an identity crisis

With his gift it’s easy for all the appearances and genders and changing to go to his head

Camilo is also, without a doubt, a he/they

I don’t know a single he/they or she/they (including myself) that has not had multiple gender identity crisis’

And even after they come out and have it “figured out” there are still lots of times when they question it

So when Camilo has his he’s very confused and feeling vulnerable and probably second guessing everything every time someone calls him “he” or “they”

There’s honestly not much you can do for this

No solid advice you can give

No definite or clear solution

But you can offer support

You can promise that you’ll be there no matter what

It doesn’t matter if Camilo is a guy, gal or nonbinary pal

You’ll always love him/them for him/them

And Camilo is infinitely grateful for it

You have no idea

Camilo’s heart swells- no- bursts with love and gratitude and adoration

He holds you a little closer

Squeezes you a little tighter

Falls whole stories deeper in love with you (if that was even possible)

[honey-olive]

Not again

4kota fan-fiction

Aprox 550 words (see AN at the end)

******************************************

Fuck

Not again. Not now. It always happens when he… when…

Don’t think about it. Ignore it. Ignore your body trembling gritting movements, not that they matter.

They asked for it. They wanted to kill him. His friends. His family. They wanted to take their hope.

They were evil. He had the right, no, the duty to end this. He knew that. But it still made him sick. Thoughts of dread and despair. There was something so nauseating of hearing a person’s thoughts go silent. Knowing that they go silent because of him.

Sometimes, he bet he could hear memories of loved ones pop in their heads for a fraction of a second. A mother, a father, a kid. It was a final cry for help. Their last breath seeking comfort and forgiveness when it was too late.

He swallowed the bitter thought. His head was starting to feel dizzy as he took the bodies and one by one buried them.

He couldn’t afford to be so goddam soft.

He had to show Percy how it’s done. Don’t show emotions. Keep it inside. Do what you need to do.

He kept going. Now they were asking him questions. Lancelot had to keep the explanations simple. A servant of Lioness in a mission… Yes, Lioness! They needed to go to Lioness. It was about time they did.

“The guy with the star visor, and the giant craftsman dude… what do they have to do with that?”

Fuck Percy. Please... Give me a break.

“That’s my personal business. Nothing you need to be concerned about.” That should suffice for now. For now…

Lancelot placed a seed on the dirt above the bodies. They can continue to exist, to give life on the forest. Nothing ended. It merely continues in an endless cycle. Their bodies can serve a better purpose buried in the soil.

He reminded himself that their deaths were not unjustified or unreasoned. They had a purpose. And he would honor their lives to finally let them go. The only clemency they could get. And the only forgiveness he could reach. A proper burial for the ones that died in battle.

Let that free him from the guilt. Let that allow them to live on.

.

.

.

“Are you from the fairy clan perhaps?” Good question from Nasiens. He had a sharp mind, that Lancelot knew for sure. Totally opposite to Percival, who’s astonishment and joy was only comparable to that of a toddler.

“Lemme try this real quick!” ‘Poop poop poop poop’

“Huh?” There he goes. Percy being the most stupid kid Lancelot has ever seen. “I’m not saying it!”

They don’t seem to understand at all. Hopeless.

Well, maybe not���

In fact, he almost wanted to laugh. Percival was one of the knights of prophecy, and his friends were his allies. And yet, they were all dorks.

No time to think too long. Lancelot felt something approaching. That black knight had come for Percival again. They were being excessively loud and obnoxious. Too bad they wouldn’t get what they had come to take.

“Sorry, we don’t have time to play with you.” They wouldn’t waste any more time. “We’re heading out.” His mission was over. He got to teach these kids a thing or two. He got to see them grow. And now, it was over, not in echo gorge as he once thought. They managed to come this far… They still had a long way to go. But that only shows their potential.

******************************************

A/N

Fun fact! I wrote this when chapter 50 came out. But I never posted it, cause I felt like it was too short and idk, I kinda lost interest in it, and felt ashamed of posting it. The point is, I was looking at my random drafts and saw this, and I remember a post by @grace-of-flash when they said they were scared of posting something they made. And ofc I was all like “go ahead and post!” But I realized I didn’t follow that advice. And I haven’t post any of my writing here, so I thought ‘why not’.

I mean, isn’t that the internet for?

Anyways. I hope I begin to follow my advice more often. I like writing a lot, but when I think of posting I just kinda get too scared to post and end up leaving things half done. Anywho. If you read this thanks, hahahs I just vented there, I love you, you’re doing great, please believe in yourself.

[narrowtriangle33-blog]

This is the karma of Working Class white people.

"“Sorry, not sorry. These people are not worthy of any sympathy. They have run around for decades bitching about poor minorities not “working hard enough,” or that their situation is “their own fault.” Well guess what? It’s not so great when it’s you now, is it? Bunch of deplorables, and if they die quicker than the rest of us that just means the country will be better off in the long run.”

“Is it bad news or good news? Middle aged undereducated white Americans are Donald Trump’s base. They brought us this clown and ensuing insanity. It’s bad news they are dying off if you happen to love one of them or are one of them. But, it’s the welcome news of hope that without that demographic dwindling and eventually gone, our chances of another Trump are significantly less. Now that’s good news.”

“maybe they should takt the advice they used to give minorities, take responsibilty and pull up your boot straps,only when it’s your boot straps you find it’s not so easy as a sound byte.”

“Hey as long as those white people keep voting republican they will continue to die off….. How stupid could you be….”

“I don’t see much profit in planning on them ever voting democrat. However, there can be progress in forcing them to eat the shit they’ve been feeding other people for so long.”

“I for one have little sympathy for these despairing whites. If they can’t compete against people of color when everything has been rigged in their favor, then there’s really no help for them. Trump and his G(r)OPers will do little to elevate their lot. If anything, these poor whites will be hired to dig grave pits and assemble their own coffins.”

“They have every know advantage in America; culturally, environmentally, educationally, etc. There is absolutely no reason that they should be in such despair. They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps.”

“As long as it only affected minorities, whether it was jobs, drugs, or a decent life it was an non issue. We were told by these very people that we were being to sensitive and not really trying to get a job, or the worst bs of all that we just wanted to have a free handout rather than ever work a real job. Well you know what, karma is a bitch and if these people choose to continue to vote Republican and try to deny other from attaining the American dream, they deserve no better than what they are getting!”

“Wow! You’re really going to sit on your unearned perch of white privilege and tell us, US?, people of color that WE? are standing above them and “sneering down” at them. These people are the white racist who voted in a white racist as president. And you want us to look upon our oppressors as victims? And seriously you show your own arrogant racism with your whitesplaining ‘splaining?” comment. You’ve got some serious nerve trying to use our own terms against us in a blind bid to have us feel sorry for the vile racist oppressors of this so called society.”

“I agree it’s sad. And likely it is due to the collapse of the structure they built based on entitlement. Males of other races have had the same challenges the whole time, and have been told to suck it up buttercup. Time for these guys to take a dose of the same medicine they’ve been doling out for years.”

“Those numbers ain’t even real. They are made up by the white supremacist power structure to make the over privileged oppressors look like some kind of victim. It’s sick, and disgusting. It’s the same kind of crap they do with crime statistics. They try to make us, POC, the victims of white hate and oppression for centuries. Look like the criminal minded victimizers and the racist white power structure {ie the white population from top to bottom, upper, middle and lower class alike} look like victims.”

“One feels maybe a modicum of sympathy for those “white, poorly educated, middle-age Americans”. One does not wish for one’s fellow citizens to suffer. But, those same “white, poorly educated middle age Americans” need to own up to their responsibility, if not complicity, in their own predicament. This is what happens when you vote for Republicans to public office. Republicans are a disease, a pestilence, a cancer on the American body politic. Republicans do not give one goddam whit about “white, poorly educated, middle age Americans”. Republicans only care about their wealthy, corporate benefactors. Republicans only care about inflicting harm and suffering on everyone who is not elite or wealthy. Stop voting Republicans into office. Start voting in people who have your best interests in heart and at hand. Otherwise, continue to feel this despair white America. Republicans will NEVER help you overcome your economic plight.”

“In the 60 ‘s &, 70 ‘s these people didn’t have to compete for jobs .they got jobs because they were white even when blacks were more ,qualified. . Now it’s a knowledge economy and more minorities are getting higher education. .For years these same people voted against their own interests by voting Republican.. No they’re reaping what they sow.”

“Difficult to have any sympathy when My coverage is threatened because ignorant white trash are too stupid to know that the ACA and Evil Obamacare are the same thing. The factories closed down forty years ago. If you didn’t leave Detroit or Erie or Kentucky as I did to stay current you need blame no one but yourself.”

“This is where standing around basking in white privilege and chanting USA! USA! USA! when presented with differing and challenging opinions for decades has taken them. You have to go out and make things happen for yourself, change jobs and even move if necessary to make a better life sometimes. Nobody who wasn’t born straight and white fails to understand this. These people would rather project their own failures and shortcomings onto minority groups, buying into myths about non-existent welfare queens and trickle-down economics and all of the other snake oil sold by the right and wallow in nostalgia over how “great” (for them) everything was in the 1950s when they could pull themselves into the 21st century.”"

[empathisex]

Cheating Prank! (Bakugou x GN!Reader)

Notice: You and Bakugou are in your twenties, he’s the pro hero: Ground Zero. You decide to be a bit rebellious since you both have a famous YouTube channel! lol that’s about it. Enjoy this! <3

• Today, you decide to pull a prank on your husband, Bakugou! Great idea right? Right..? Not. You want to have some fun meaning you want to come up with some tricks. Even though you’re risking your twos place getting blasted into oblivion. Why not take the chances?

• You already know, Katsuki isn’t the one for pranks/tricks. He has an extremely bad temper, he can’t contain his anger when you do such foolishness. You have only did minor pranks on him such as, putting different foods on his face while he’s sleeping, ignoring him, etc.

• But this prank you were about to pull off was about to be extreme, you can already imagine his reaction in your head, him screaming your name out loud, noisy explosions coming from both of his hands. It was almost like you could see the smoke coming out his ears, his teeth grinding together too. It did terrify you, but you made you giggle intensely.

• Plus, you and Bakugou have a YouTube channel, his old classmates recommended to you, they notice you weren’t intimate with Bakugou at the time. Now with almost to 1 million subs since you both have some sort of fame and popularity, why not spice things up a notch. Give your viewers a show!

• Katsuki hasn’t come home from hero work yet, so you take your chances heading over to your guys master bedroom grabbing a small camera from a drawer filled with items Katsuki’s has given you in the past. Rings, Jewels, even a necklace with your intintal and his. He spoils you of course, he’s your everything.

• With a soft smile you come to remembrance to set up the room with red and purples lights, some candles on the counters, and a nice rope around you to set up the mood. Now, how can you make it seem that a person was here? You knew Deku closely, he gave you advice on how to deal with Bakugou. But you rather not see that outcome...

• Boxes and a wig! Rummaging through the closet, you find about three shoe boxes, a green wig that looks similar to Midoriya’s hair that you wore for a costume party, you pull the wide sheets off the mattress, placing the boxes vertical the wig resting half on the box and the pillow.

• You couldn’t help but laugh while pulling the covers up, grabbing some cologne Katsuki used to put on spraying the bottle profusely around the side with the boxes. You totally forgot how strong the scent was, it made you let a few coughs as you shook your head.

• Later on, you sprayed it on the couch, leaving your undergarments on the couch and a pair of limited edition All Might boxers Deku probably would wear, you placed a alcohol bottle on the coffee table, leaving a second camera around the kitchen area, rushing over to the bed again.

• You started the camera, letting it face your way. You fixed yourself puffing but letting out a cheerful expression, “Hey everyone! And welcome back to our channel, um..I know it’s been a while that me and Katsuki have updated but I felt we should do a special just for y’all!” You winked at the camera giving a small finger gun.

• “Katsuki is on his way back home, and I’m doing a small prank on him, I set everything up so let’s see how he- Oh! I placed another camera in the kitchen so you could see his full reaction! Let’s see what he does!” You cheered as you set the camera where he possibly wouldn’t see. Looking at the window, you saw Bakugou coming towards the enterance of your home, he honestly looked exhausted, truly you realized he wanted to see you. Welp.. that won’t be the case. You slowly mouthed, he’s coming while running to the door locking it.

• Plopping yourself on the bed you could start to feel your nerves overwhelm you, but you leave that to the side grabbing your phone turning on some slow jams. Then overhearing the door open, that was your cue to start..to make Bakugou lose his mind.

• First, you began rocking your hips imagining Bakugou grinding his heat against your body. You jumped up and down in excitement even in thought of it making the bed creak, it made you let out a few soft moans, you giggled therefore you let out more thinking of Bakugou kissing your neck, his big hands all over your body exploring you, his fresh breath breezing in your ear.

• “Oi..cute face..where are you? God..I know you like pulling your stupid tricks on me but come on.” He sighed in exhaustion, not even realizing what was in front on him. However his quick instinct caught onto him, your precious underwear? The scent of cologne? All Might Boxers? Something fishy was up.

• You continued each time you got louder hoping that Bakugou would catch on and make this prank be a success. You kept moaning, letting out whimpers and whines like you were begging for him to fuck you. You purred like a kitten as you bit your lip. At some point, your moans became louder than the music.

• And you were exactly right, he caught out quite fast than you expected, he clenched onto the front doorknob trying his best to justify what was going on. His lover cheating on him while he was doing hero work..no way. He slammed the door shut, walking over to the bedroom door you were in. That definitely caught on you by surprise which made you gulp.

• Bakugou instantly started banging on the door, he didn’t want to blast the door down knowing you’ll get mad at him so he decided to be patient. Calling your names a bunch of him you let out, “Ohh, fuck! You’re so much better than my husband! Mm!” Which completely set him off.

• “[NAME] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” He kept banging trying his best not leaving a dent in the door. This made you stop the music making you gasp. “Oh my gosh..” You whispered looking over at the camera covering your mouth.

• “Damn it..go hide, Izuku..go hide..” You say a little louder, making Bakugou lose his marbles again. “DEKU IS IN MY HOUSE?! YOU CAN’T BE-“ He stepped away from the door raising his hand, releasing small explosions (crackle, pop!). He started kicking the door with full force.

• “[NAME] OPEN THIS GODDAM DOOR BEFORE YOU END UP DYING WITH HIM! YOU LET THIS PIECE OF SHIT IN OUR HOUSE?!” He yelled still kicking more, you rushed over to the closet acting like you were getting some new clothes to change to.

• “Baby, I’m changing! Stop, before you break down the door!” You huffed still holding in your laughs and chuckles. “YOU GOT A WHOLE FUCKER IN THE HOUSE AND YOU EXPECT ME TO- SOMEBODY IS DYING TODAY! IVE BEEN WAITING TO KILL THIS LITTLE BITCH TOO!” He punched the door hard enough to make it bend as he shouted loudly. Shit shit shit! You grabbed a random chair from the corner of the room to hold the door up.

• “Babe..Deku came to chat on some things..it’s not what it seems I swear..” You tried to explain but Katsuki didn’t seem to listen to a word you had to say. He wanted Deku to die. “So Deku came to chat to you and all of sudden you’re..FUCKING MOANING YOUR ASS OFF! MUSIC BLASTING, WE DONT PLAY MUSIC WHEN WE DO IT! OPEN THIS DOOR!” His explosions were louder, he was raging at this point.

• “Katsuki..what the fuck, what’s your problem?” You rolled your eyes, disgusted by his choice of wording. “You probably were sucking that fucker off too..you little slut. You couldn’t wait until I came home couldn’t you. OPEN. THIS. DOOR.” His response completely caught you off guard, you glanced at the camera your eyes widening in shock.

• Maybe it was time for you to tell him it was a prank before he’ll fuck up everything in the house. You clench onto the robe letting out a sigh, unlocking the door searching for Bakugou, “For Gods sake Katsuki it was a pran-“

• He didn’t waste no time running into the bedroom punching the boxes and the pillow with the wig on to. Bakugou burnt the side of bed, you yelling at him to stop. He grinded his teeth staring at you, as you let out a burst of laughs.

• “Goddamit, [Name].” He grabbed the wig looking at it then at you. “You got me..I’ll get you back, watch idiot.” He stomped out as you continued onward with your laughs.

• You rushed to the camera, still laughing as you made your outro, “Welp, that prank was a successful on Bakugou, make sure you like share and subscribe if you want to see more pranks and content! [Name], signing off!” You turned off the camera with a smile.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

“Why is arson always your first answer?” for the promot list. Go nuts.

(fuck canon. Keigo didn’t have enough time to warn the LoV so everyone thinks he betrayed them. but he didn’t. Dabi also didn’t manage to get the wings all the way burnt off. just mostly.)

Keigo was realsed from the hospital with several doctors trying to make him see reason and stay. He technically shouldn’t be leaving and was doing so against medical advice. He just hoped that he wasn’t too late still.

The base was mostly destroyed, the main battle hadn’t taken place here but the side fighting had certainly caused enough damage. He skirted around the building until he saw where parts of it had caved in, Dabi having a meltdown as he had walked in on Hawks ‘killing’ Jin. The way he’d reacted had just worsened it and in the end Dabi had almost completly burned his wings all the way off. Right now they would regrow, but if he had gone any further they wouldn’t have. And then keigo would be useless. He hoped Jin was awake by now.

He checked the woods and found him, maskless because he’s been having a good day before the raid and one of his clones had wanted a turn to wear it. He was knocked out and sleeping aginst the trunk of a tree. Fuck, he shouldn’t have left hiim here. who knows if he would have woken up if the fighthad gotten too close. He hadn’t had time to plan, this was all last minute and it was still no excuse. Dabi thought he had killed their friend in front of them, the rest of the league thought he’d betrayed them.

Truthfully he thought as he knelt down and shook Jin’s shoulder, he almost had. There hadn’t been a plan to save Jin when he went in. There hadn’t been any plan but to complete the mission and then without thinking about it, he’d changed sides. He guessed. 

“twice. cmon man.” He shook Jin’s shoulder a little harder and Jin snapped awake. Grabbing Hawks arm and throwing him down beside him onto his injured back as he let out a scream of pain.

“You killed me! you tried to arrest me and betrayed us and the you killed me in front of Dabi!” He roared as Hawks blinked his vision clear. Angrily stumbling to his feet and standing over Hawks.

“Fuck. Alive, Your Alive you dumbass.” He choked out between gasps as his back contined to spasm on the forset floor. he was supposed to keep his wounds clean, well not like it could get any worse.

“How do I know that?” JIn pressed his foot down on Hawks ribs as he spoke, grasping his head as he spoke. Tears were streaming down his face and he was feeling up his pockets for some thing. Hawks realized it was Toga’s hankerchief and his heart panged. Its how he had know that twice he killed was a clone. Jin didn’t carry the hankerchief around when he had his mask available, too afraid it would get dirty and lost. “Don’t call me stupid when your dumb enough to think I needed tutoring.”

“Mask.” Keigo shoved his hands in his pockets and brought out a ski mask. He should have given this to Twice right away. He didn’t know how to do this at all, its like all the social skills and thought out plans he used for spying left. He was lucky he had even seen one on the way here.

“Where’s Dabi. And get fucked. what he said.” Jin yanked it on and stopped crushing Hawks ribs. Boot still on his chest ready to restart.

“your alive, i didn’t kill you.” The traitor started only to get cut off.

“Thats not what i asked.” He put some pressure back on Hawks as he squirmed.  “Did you kill him too?”

“For fucks sake i didn’t kill you Jin. I fucking saved you and Dabi burnt my goddam wing nearly the hell off. I didnt have fucking time to goddam fucking plan this shit okay much less explain anything?”

“Your coming with me.” Jin yanked him up off the ground and as he turned him around he saw his back. bleeding through the dirty bandages, he almost felt bad for him but he was the one who had crossed the league. 

“ see? Dabi burnt my wings and i didn’t kill you.” Keigo tried to jerk himself out of Jin’s grasp without sucess.

“Go fuck yourself, we all know your a liar. I don’t care Hawks, and I don’t belive you.” Jin didn’t have his phone and Keigo couldn’t get ahold of anyone, not that that was suprising. so they walked out of the disaster area and got on a bus Jin made Hawks pay for. They sat in tense silent as Jin lead him to their next meeting point, it didn’t matter if he showed Hawks where it was. He wasn’t leaving there alive.

They got off and Hawks stumbled as Jin moved him roughly to keep him in front of him as they walked a couple blocks. They stopped outside a abandoned run down love hotel, going down the adjacent alley to the side entarence with its lock broken off. JIn swung it open and shoved Hawks through first, Hawks back spasamed again against his palm and he grit his teeth.

right away as they stepped in blue flames flew at him as he let his legs go out and fall to avoid them.

“Dabi? are you alive?” Jin stepped over Hawks and into the base. “I lived bitch, maybe, I’m not sure.”

Dabi’s quirk dissapeared immediatly and Keigo dragged himself over to sit against the wall as he watched the reunion. 

“Jin? you, i saw him-.” there was a choked off noise as Dabi stared at him.

“why is your hair white? did i miss your big reveal?” Jin’s hands hovered around Dabi as he took in the new hair and burns. “ Looks hot, i like it. “

“Im going to set you on fucking fire again.” Dabi roared and lunged for him, Sako holding him back so they could get the full story. Shigaraki meanicingly approached him instead and crouched down in front of him.

“why is arson always your first awnser?” He asked as he braced himself for the interragation to follow.

[blakemetothemoon]

Love in a Laundromat - SaifahZon, T, Ch. 2/?

Summary: Zon's favorite place is a laundromat. That is until a certain tall, handsome stranger steals his washer and seems hellbent on making Zon miserable.

Notes: Chapter 2! Unexpected Zon Angst! This is lookin’ like it’ll be longer than 4 chapters now oops

Read below or on ao3! :)

“You one hundred percent overreacted,” Tutor says after Zon recounts the whole encounter at the laundromat the night before.

It’s Friday afternoon and they’re doing their usual study session. The two of them are in different majors, but Zon struggles with some general studies and Tutor appreciates Zon’s company when studying gets too heavy and he needs Zon to make him laugh.

“It’s a washing machine, Zon.”

“Yeah, but I alw—”

“If you say ‘always’ one more time,” Tutor says, gaze steady and scary, “then I’m never tutoring you again.”

Zon’s mouth slams shut.

“And even though you're complaining, I know you're feeling guilty so just apologize to him,” Tutor continues, returning his attention to the math notes he’s reviewing. “You’re good at it because you have to do it so often.”

Zon huffs and pouts. What Tutor says is true. Zon is stubborn and childish, but he knows when he’s messed up. Apologies aren’t easy but he always feels worse if he doesn’t do them.

“Who knows if I’ll even see him again?” Zon mumbles, twirling his pen around his fingers. “That tall asshole giraffe might be scared off.”

For some reason that makes Tutor perk up. “How tall was he?”

Zon’s nose scrunches as he thinks back. “I don’t know? Like, 192 cm?”

“Was he handsome?”

The guy’s face instantly flashes through Zon’s mind. Not that it ever left. It’s annoying, actually, how he couldn’t stop thinking about that stupid, cocky smirk, that taunting eyebrow raise, those nice arms and pretty lips and—

“Definitely not,” Zon snaps back but can’t top the tip of his ears from turning red.

Tutor gives him a look that says he doesn’t believe him. “Did he tell you his name?"

“No. Why?”

The sudden mischievous glint in Tutor’s eye puts Zon on edge. “No reason. Oh, if you want to apologize you should buy him an iced coffee with cinnamon and vanilla syrup."

Then, before Zon can ask what the hell he’s talking about, Tutor uses the I’m-never-tutoring-you-again threat a second time and flicks Zon in the forehead to prove he’s serious.

*

The next Thursday, Zon arrives a little later than normal. He's decided to take Tutor's advice (like he always does) and stopped by the nearest coffee shop. He's partially hoping Tall Asshole Giraffe won't be there, but when Zon steps up to the door and sees the back of the guy's head, his heart skips a beat. Zon has to turn away to calm himself down, then it takes a good minute to psyche himself up again.

Juggling a laundry basket and a large iced coffee while opening the door is an unexpected challenge. Zon steps backwards, preparing to push it with his shoulder, when it suddenly opens. Zon’s balance is thrown off, but a hand, large and warm, catches his lower back and steadies him before he can fall.

Zon looks to see who caught him and immediately goes back to unsteady.

"Careful,” Tall Asshole Giraffe says, “or you'll throw laundry everywhere again." 

Zon sputters. Tall Asshole Giraffe is so close that Zon's back hits the door when he jumps away.

"Don't make fun of me!"

Now at least Zon is annoyed enough to feel less stupid about the coffee. He shoves the drink into the guy's chest.

"Here!"

Tall Asshole Giraffe hesitantly takes the drink, staring at it with utter confusion. "What's this for?"

"It's an apology." Zon shuffles from one foot to the next. His grip on his basket is starting to shake but he forces himself to look at the other's face. "Sorry for yelling at you last week."

The guy goes speechless for only half a second, but it’s long enough for Zon to feel proud he isn’t the one caught off guard for once.

“Is it poisoned?” Tall Asshole Giraffe asks.

“No!” Zon says, louder than he means to. “I don’t know how to poison things!”

With that Zon shoves his way forward, purposely putting his laundry basket between them so they don’t touch. He storms over towards his usual washer. Annoyance is already rising because he knows the asshole is probably using it.

Except the machine currently shaking and buzzing isn’t Zon’s; it’s the one next to it, placed between his and the wall.

“Wait…,” Zon says and swirls around, sneakers squeaking. He stabs a finger towards his washer, currently not in use. “Why aren’t you using my...this machine?”

Tall Asshole Giraffe shrugs and takes a sip of his drink. His eyes light up like a puppy. Guess Tutor’s input on the coffee order had been bang on. “I thought about it, but you seem to have a powerful connection to it.”

“What the hell, don’t make it weird!”

“Hey, hey, I get it, promise. We all have something like that.” Tall Asshole Giraffe takes another drink and smirks around the straw. “It was pretty fun to make you mad, though.”

The smirk sends Zon somewhere between angry and swooning. The childish side takes over and he yanks open the washer’s door, pointedly ignoring the laugh his annoyed, puffed out cheeks earn him.

It isn't until Zon is shoving his clothes into his washing machine that Tall Asshole Giraffe says, "I’m Saifah, by the way.”

‘Saifah’ is a much... nicer name than Tall Asshole Giraffe. Zon nods, trying to be casual despite the way his goddam heart jumps again at the new information. “I’m Zon.”

"I know."

Zon turns his head so fast he's pretty sure he gets whiplash. "You know?"

"You're Tutor's friend."

"I am?” Zon shakes his head, trying to get his bearings back and not sound like a complete moron. “I mean, yeah, I am. And you...You know Tutor?"

“We’re pretty close since we're in the same major.”

That gives Zon pause. Saifah... now that he’s heard it, that name does sound familiar. Then why hadn’t Saifah introduced himself the first two times they met, if he knew who Zon was? And why didn’t Tutor...

Zon glances at the coffee in Saifah's hand. Iced with vanilla syrup and cinnamon.

Oh, that little shit. Tutor is about to get fifteen texts. They will be single, angry emojis, and Zon hopes they wake Fighter up so that Tutor has to deal with his grumpy ass.

Saifah rests his shoulder against the empty machine next to Zon's. Even leaning like that, Saifah's a head taller than Zon. A mischievous glimmer makes Saifah’s eyes damn near sparkly. "I've seen you around."

Zon’s mouth drops open and his cheeks are going to be permanently stained red at this point. He starts to stutter out some response that was about to be far from eloquent. But then Saifah raises the iced coffee to his mouth again and holds Zon’s gaze as he wraps his lips around the straw—

Music suddenly bursts from Zon's pocket. Zon has never been more grateful for a phone call in his life.

Of course, Saifah quirks a smile when Zon fumbles to answer it without even checking the caller ID.

Then the voice on the other end says Zon’s name and he very much wishes he had checked it.

“Hi, Mom,” Zon replies.

“Your sister mentioned you updated your story yesterday.”

Welp, straight to the point like Mom always was.

Did you even read the chapter? Zon thinks. But he bites the words back like he always does. He used to ask but the answers have been, “I didn’t have time” or “It’s not the genre I enjoy” for so long, it’s pointless to hope for a different answer now. 

“Mom, it’s late,” Zon groans. Sometimes he wishes he hadn’t inherited his mother’s night owl tendencies. If he hadn’t, he would be sleeping right now and not having this repetitive conversation they've had a hundred times before. “Do we need to do this right now?”

“Don’t try to hang up on me. I know you do laundry on Thursday nights and that laundromat is always empty, so I know you’re alone.”

Zon’s eyes shift to Saifah before he can stop himself. Zon is half-expecting to make eye contact with Saifah and his heart speeds up at the possibility, but the other boy is playing a game on his phone. Whatever’s happening must be challenging, because there’s a crease in his brow and his lips are pursed in a pout. Zon can’t stop staring at it, wondering what else Saifah’s lips can do—

“Zon!”

“Uh, yes!”

Oh, great. Now Saifah is looking at him. Zon blushes so hot he can’t even offer an awkward smile before turning away.

“Are you listening?” his mom demands instead of asks.

“Yes,” Zon says again and sighs. “Mom—”

“Honey,” his mom interrupts, “I know you enjoy writing, but you need to focus on your studies.”

And there it is. Only one minute, forty-three seconds in, according to the call time when Zon glances at it. Top three quickest times. Impressive.

“You’re going to law school because you’re good at arguing.” His mother laughs like her pride at that part of Zon should soothe away the sting of her words. “Focus on your strengths, alright? The semester is almost over, so you’ll have plenty of time for...” She hums, searching for the right term, “hobbies then.”

A hobby. That’s all they want Zon’s writing to be. That’s all they believe it ever can be.

Not like his sister. Zol is popular. Her stories get millions of views and she can run ads on them and she’s already making an impressive amount of money. The comments are always positive and “can’t wait for more.” His parents share links to her stories on facebook. When Zon goes home for dinner a few times a month, the conversation is always Zol describing the next chapter or where she gets inspiration from. He loves his sister. For siblings so close in age, they get along better than most. Sure, they bicker and Zol tattles on him more than she should, but they would go to the ends of the earth for each other. But it still hurts, knowing his parents are so enthusiastic about her writing when they haven’t bothered reading a chapter of anything Zon’s written in, what, two years?

And Zon doesn’t dare to bring up to his mom and dad about how he’s writing lyrics now and even sings made-up melodies sometimes. Both of his parents are musicians and Zon’s heart can’t handle the inevitable disappointment when they tell him his songwriting and singing should remain a “hobby,” too.

“Okay,” Zon finally replies. Somehow he manages to keep his voice from shaking. All he wants is for this conversation to be over. “Yeah, I understand. Love you, too. Goodnight.”

Zon’s finger is still lingering over the screen of his phone when Saifah asks, “You okay?”

Zon jolts. He forgot he isn’t alone. And he has tears in the corners of his eyes. And he’s seriously about to fucking cry in a laundromat in front of someone like Saifah who is probably judging him.

Shit, ever since Saifah appeared, Zon’s done nothing but embarrass himself.

Though it’s not like Zon’s life was anything but an embarrassment before.

A deep breath, then two. Zon wipes the tears away with the sleeve of his t-shirt. He quickly bends down to grab his headphones and notebook out of his bag, then settles down onto the bench without a single glance Saifah's way.

“Yeah, I'm fine," Zon says. He clears his throat. "Thanks though.”

There’s a moment of silence where Zon wonders if Saifah will make fun of him like he’s done the last two times they met. Zon really doesn’t think he can handle it and he just apologized for yelling at Saifah, he really doesn’t want to do it again. But his mother’s words have made him feel cornered and on edge, and he always lashes out when this happens.

Saifah picks up on Zon’s mood and doesn’t press the topic further. With soft eyes and a nod, he leans back against the wall, one long leg crossing over the other. He busies himself with something else on his phone and leaves Zon to his music and notepad.

Except Zon’s notepad taunts him. When he tries to scribble words, nothing comes except more tears blurring his vision. Each stroke of his pen adds to the pressure on Zon’s chest. An unrelenting tightness that makes it difficult to breathe, makes him want to run and hide away forever.

Zon spends the rest of the night with his notebook shut tight in his lap and tries to drown his thoughts in music until the dryer finally signals it’s done.

[platitudeurn]

Excerpt from JD Salinger’s “Catcher in the Rye”

Then, on Veterans' Day. They have this day, Veterans' Day, that all the jerks that graduated from Pencey around 1776 come back and walk all over the place, with their wives and children and everybody. You should've seen this one old guy that was about fifty. What he did was, he came in our room and knocked on the door and asked us if we'd mind if he used the bathroom. The bathroom was at the end of the corridor--I don't know why the hell he asked us. You know what he said? He said he wanted to see if his initials were still in one of the can doors. What he did, he carved his goddam stupid sad old initials in one of the can doors about ninety years ago, and he wanted to see if they were still there. So my roommate and I walked him down to the bathroom and all, and we had to stand there while he looked for his initials in all the can doors. He kept talking to us the whole time, telling us how when he was at Pencey they were the happiest days of his life, and giving us a lot of advice for the future and all. Boy, did he depress me! I don't mean he was a bad guy--he wasn't. But you don't have to be a bad guy to depress somebody--you can be a good guy and do it. All you have to do to depress somebody is give them a lot of phony advice while you're looking for your initials in some can door--that's all you have to do. I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been all out of breath. He was all out of breath from just climbing up the stairs, and the whole time he was looking for his initials he kept breathing hard, with his nostrils all funny and sad, while he kept telling Stradlater and I to get all we could out of Pencey. God, Phoebe! I can't explain. I just didn't like anything that was happening at Pencey. I can't explain.

[storytell]

@florabled asked

[Maiza; Victor] “people are not moved by logic.”

❛     oh  ,  and  you  want  me  to  take  that  from  you  of  all  people  ?  fuck  off  ,  even  if  i  still  think  of  you  as  a  friend  ,  you’re  still  someone  who  got  yourself  tangled  up  in  that  disgusting  ,  disgusting  ------  oh  ,  did  i  mention  ?  ------  FUCKING  DISGUSTING  world  of  criminal  activity  .  hell  ,  whatever  ,  we’re  not  talking  about  this  right  now  .  the  hell  would  you  and  i  know  about  what  people  are  movied  by  ?  what  ,  like  we  even  goddam  count  ?     ❜ 

you  grumble  nonsense  and  stuff  your  hands  in  your  pockets  ,  having  started  talking  more  to  yourself  since  you  stopped  actually  addressing  him  .  you  don’t  know  why  you  even  came  to  maiza  for  advice  ,  except  you  do  know  why  ,  because  who  the  hell  else  can  you  even  talk  to  ?  huey  ?  sure  ,  maybe  if  you  were  a  suicidal  fucking  masochist  .  elmer  ?  no  fucking  thanks  ,  you’d  prefer  to  keep  your  temper  in  check  .  and  ,  what  ,  you’re  expected  to  just  travel  halfway  across  the  world  to  talk  to  some  of  the  others  ?  as  if  .  you’ve  got  a  job  to  do  .

❛     right  ,  i’m  off - track  again  .  anyway  ,  i  know  your  kind  of  people  sure  as  hell  aren’t  ,  but  it’s  not  your  kind  of  people  i  even  need  help  with  .  which  begs  the  question  ------  don’t  say  it  ,  i  know  :  why  the  hell  are  you  even  asking  me  ,  talbot  ?  aren’t  there  plenty  of  more  goddamn  qualified  people  ,  talbot  ?  wrong  .  you’re  absolutely  wrong  about  that  ,  maiza  ,  every  one  of  my  trusted  subordinates  has  refused  to  show  me  a  solution  because  ‘ they  don’t  know ’  .  goddamn  ,  i  know  they  weren’t  trained  in  reforming  people  ,  but  this  is  just  stupid  !  tch  ,  people  are  not  moved  by  logic  .  why  don’t  you  try  helping  me  instead  of  just  saying  shit  like  that  ?     ❜

tales of symphonia.     /     selectively accepting.

[galadrieljones]

The Lily Farm - Chapter 27 (Arthur x Mary Beth)

AO3 | Masterpost

Rating: M (Mature) - sexual content, violence, and adult themes

To help her process Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip, somewhere far away. He agrees, and on their journey to the north, they find quietude and take comfort in their easy bond. They’ve been friends for a while now, but life, like the wilderness, is full of uncertainty and complications, and in their desperate search for meaning together, they endure a number of trials, some small, some big, all of which bring them closer to one another, as well as to their future. But they’ve fallen in love during hard times. With the gang tipping dangerously close to a breaking point in a changing world, Arthur must make a difficult choice. Can he escape his past, as well as the outlaw life, in order to start a family of his own? With Mary Beth by his side, one thing is certain: redemption and second chances finally seem within his grasp.

Chapter 27: American Mothers

They rode hard on their way back to Shady Belle, but even still. Kieran lost his steam in the evening and could no longer hold himself up on the back of Arthur’s horse. He seemed to have some cracked ribs or something, and this made it hard for him. They camped out near the river, right on the cusp of the swamp, and they put him in the tent, and he liquored up for the anesthetic properties. Meanwhile Arthur and Mary Beth set their bedrolls up outside, near the fire, under the stars. It was a fine break.

But Arthur was in some kind of pain. He was a little more beat up than he had let on to Mary Beth the night before, and now, with the adrenaline wore off and the night looming ahead, he was finally feeling it. He had the shiner on his cheek but it had come from throwing hands with the great big psychopath who had been guarding Kieran in Colm’s absence. In getting the gun away from him, Arthur endured a boot to the chest and a lot of gut punches. On one occasion, he had nearly lost consciousness and got a loud ringing in his ears when thrown hard into the stone wall of the cellar. Charles had come and dispatched of the man with his sawed-off at that point, and this is when they untied Kieran and got the fuck out of there. In any case, his entire body hurt. It felt like there was a ton of dull grit in his joints, and he thought his jaw might be a little loose. There was little blood, just black and blue, and he didn’t want to worry Mary Beth. So he tried to stay hushed about it that night when they lie side-by-side, sleeping on the hard earth, but she was canny and she noticed something was wrong nonetheless. She started asking him about it as soon as they heard Kieran start to snore from inside the tent.

“Arthur, how hurt are you?” she said, getting up. The crackling of the fire was all you could really hear.

“I’m fine,” said Arthur, lying flat on his back. Like a slab. “Leave it be, Mary Beth.”

“Sit up.”

“I ain’t gonna sit up.”

“Why not?”

He opened his eyes, turned his head a little to look at her. “Because. I’d prefer not to sit up. Not right now. If it’s all the same to you, my lady.”

“What happened?” she said. “Tell me, Arthur. Just because we’re getting married that don’t mean you get to start hiding stuff from me. That ain’t how this works. We’re still friends. You ain’t protecting nobody with that act of yours.”

He gave her a look. “I ain’t acting.” He took a deep breath then, winced. “You wanna know what happened?”

“Yeah.”

“I took a bad beating back there, at Lone Mule,” he said. “A big guy, he got a piece of me. No guns, no blood. Nothing like that. Just bruises. And I’ll be fine.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? About the beating?” she said.

“Because it ain’t life threatening,” he said. “I ain’t much of a complainer, and you don’t need to worry about it.”

“But you’re hurt, Arthur. I wanna know.”

“Why? So you can coddle me?”

She stayed quiet.

He sighed after this, feeling bad. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. He turned toward her and it caused him pain to do so. He grabbed his side but didn’t linger and shook out his head to snap himself out of the pain. It was dull, he knew, and nothing was broken, and it would all subside in a week or so. “Mary Beth, I will always tell you the stuff you need to know. Understand?”

She shrugged. “Yes.”

“I can see that you’re overly worried,” he went on. “And I mean overly. As much as I am grateful to you for caring about me, I need you to try to take your own advice this time, just a little bit.”

“My own advice?”

“Yes. Just because we’re getting married, that don’t change what was,” he said. “Once, we was just friends, and I’d come to you in all manner of harm and distress and it was none the difference per our interactions, unless I said so. It’s one thing if I’m bleeding from the head, or if I’m shot, like what happened a few weeks ago, back up north. You will know when I am in more pain or danger than I can manage, but try to remember what’s remained. I ain’t no delicate specimen. I have dealt with a lot of…bodily misfortune over the years and if there is one thing I know better than anything about myself, it’s that I can handle a goddam beating. I’m okay.”

“But—”

He held up his hand, stopped her cold. “I’ll live. Please stop worrying.”

She sighed. She lay down again, on her back, staring up at the sky and fussing with the ends of her hair. She seemed off.

“You okay?” he said, softer now. “You seem…anxious. Is it about last night still? Colm?”

“Probably,” she said, too quickly. She looked a little annoyed for another minute, but then, out of nowhere, she seemed to reset, and she smiled in her regular habits of misdirection, and this was perplexing.

“What’s funny?” he said.

“Nothing,” she said. She looked at him.

“What is it?”

“When we first got back from that trip up north,” she said, “and you was out, talking to Hosea on the balcony, Abigail stole me away and made me tell her everything about us.”

This defused the argument. It was completely amusing to him. “Well, that sounds about right.”

“Anyway,” said Mary Beth, still fussing with her hair. “We ended up talking about you. She told me a story about this one time…this time before I got here, when you got so drunk in a saloon, you punched a hole in a piano.”

Arthur blinked. He had forgotten all about that. “Shit,” he said. “Abigail remembers the piano?”

Mary Beth shrugged, still smiling. “I think you was in a bad way when you did it. Still. It was kind of a funny image. Picturing you, so big and drunk and just like, swinging your arms around, landing a hole right in a piano. I ain’t making fun. Just…the idea. It’s like something out of a moving picture show.”

Arthur laughed at this, low and deep in his chest. He was lying on his back again with his eyes closed. “Yeah. I’d seen better days. Better years in fact. I was an idiot.”

“You was heartbroken,” she said. “It’s okay, Arthur. Everybody does stupid stuff when they’re out of their right mind.”

Arthur opened his eyes, looking up at the long, stretching galaxies and the milky way. He spotted the Big Dipper. He thought about Dutch.

“Arthur?” said Mary Beth. “You fall asleep?”

He looked at her again. She was very pretty in her mild, freckled way. “No,” he said. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About Dutch,” he said. “And what you told me. How he said it was for them, when he killed Colm. You think—you think that could mean she was pregnant? Annabelle? When Colm killed her?”

Mary Beth curled up toward him, got closer so she could smell the smoke on his clothes. “Yeah,” she said.

Arthur took a very deep breath. “Jesus.”

“Poor Dutch,” she said, shaking her head. “Why wouldn’t he tell you? All those years ago?”

“My guess is he didn’t wanna talk about it. Talking about it, that makes it real. I never told no one about Isaac who didn’t already know, not until I told you a few weeks back, Mary Beth. That’s just…that’s just the way it is sometimes, you know?”

She nodded, seeming distant all of a sudden. “Yeah, I know.” she said. She went back to fussing with her hair, taking the plaits apart. “I’m sorry, Arthur.”

“For what?”

“For pressing you before. I trust you. I know you’ll tell me if something’s bad. I guess I was just feeling anxious, like you said.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I know it’s coming from a good place.”

She smiled.

They heard talking then, from the tent. They both turned to see but it was just Kieran, babbling something about horses, and raccoons, on and on in his sleep.

Arthur looked completely miffed. “Does he do that regularly?” he said.

“How would I know?”

“I don’t know,” said Arthur. “You seem to know a lot of stuff I don’t know.”

She laughed, looking up at the molten sky.

The next morning, Arthur was up early. His body was still stiff, but he was on his routine, heading out into the shallow wilderness, and he shot a couple rabbits for their breakfast. When he got back, it was just coming past dawn, and Mary Beth was still hard asleep in her bedroll, her hair flung to the pillow as a kind of masterpiece. He went down to the water a little ways. He sat on a heavy piece of driftwood and rolled a few cigarettes and tucked them into his pocket, and then he lit one and smoked as he began to skin and dress the rabbits for roasting. It was repetitive work, but it was satisfying. Arthur wasn’t really the kind of man who yearned for complexities in his daily life. He had enough going on inside his messed up brain, stuff he was only just coming to terms with in recent months. These sorts of quiet routines made him happy.

At some point, Kieran came down. He looked worse for the wear but also somehow better than he had the night before. The sleep had done him kindly.

“Morning,” said Arthur.

“Good morning, Arthur,” said Kieran. “Mind if I sit?”

“Of course not. How you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” said Kieran. He nodded, looking out at the water. It was kind of silvery. “My chest still feels like I ran into a damn elephant, but my head feels better.”

“Well that’s cracked ribs for you,” said Arthur. “I been there. You’re gonna need a month, at least, before that pain subsides completely. Just try to take it easy. You’ll be okay.”

“Thank you,” said Kieran.

They sat for a little while. Arthur finished up with the rabbits and stuck them onto a couple spits. He was thinking now about coffee.

“So,” said Kieran after a little while.

It was kind of loaded sounding, like he was meaning to get something off his chest. Arthur cleared his throat.

“You and Mary Beth,” Kieran went on, wringing his hands a little bit. “You guys are, uh…you’re getting married, huh?”

Arthur sighed. He took a couple mint leaves out his front pocket to chew on. He offered some to Kieran, but Kieran declined. “Yeah,” he said. “That, we are.”

Kieran nodded, shifting his weight, though this seemed to cause him pain. He bit it back. “Well, congratulations,” he said, drawing a little somber. “I mean, I knew you guys was close. I guess I didn’t know how close.”

Arthur shrugged, and then he looked right at him, squaring up. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Sorry for what?”

“Well, I’m not sure,” said Arthur, scratching his head. “I know—I know you was sweet on her. Or, at least it seemed that way.”

Kieran kind of laughed to himself. “Yeah. I mean, it wasn’t what you think. It ain’t hard to be sweet on Mary Beth.”

“I get that. I just—you know I didn’t intend to—when we went on that hunting trip. It surprised me, too.”

“Oh, I’m not surprised,” said Kieran.

Arthur looked up from his boots. “You ain’t?”

“Not at all,” said Kieran, oddly gracious. “I mean, Mary Beth is…she’s real nice to me. She was nice when not many folks was. I mean, you know how shocked I was to see Sadie, showing up guns blazing to save my ass?”

Arthur laughed. “Yeah, well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I think Mrs. Adler came more for the O’Driscoll blood than the rescue mission, but that’s just my interpretation.”

“Anyway,” said Kieran, glancing at his hands. They were bandaged around the palms. Colm had burned them. “Mary Beth is nice. She’s teaching me to read. She’s a good listener, and she gives me the time of day. Plus, she’s real pretty. And know I don’t mean no disrespect by it. It’s just true. But…I know she’s out of my league. I ain’t—she was always gonna go for someone more, well, someone more like you, Arthur.”

“Like me?” He spat the mint leaves into the sand. “How do you mean?”

“I mean, like, a hero,” he said. “Chivalrous-like, good with girls. Real in charge. Tall. Strong. Like the kind she reads about in her books.”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I ain’t no hero, son.”

“Well, you saved my life today.”

“And you saved mine,” said Arthur, “months ago. You didn’t know me but for a man who had hogtied you in the snow and let you stay tied to a tree for days. Starving, suffering, and still you saved my life. I regret my actions.”

“It’s okay, Arthur.”

“No,” said Arthur. “No it ain’t. I see things…different now, Kieran. Mary Beth, she has that effect, but it ain’t just her. She draws it out because she believes in me, but this…feeling. It was already there. I got strung up and tortured not too long ago, just like you, and by the same piece of shit no less. The way I see it, we’s equals. And I know that, because I got something to lose now, and that’s changed me. I ain’t a hero, but I am trying to be a better man than I was before. And in any case you desered rescuing from the O’Driscoll gang. You’re one of us now.”

Kieran was looking on, sort of speechless. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” said Arthur, lighting a cigarette, handing it to him. Kieran took it without question. “You don’t gotta say anything. We’re square now. You and me. Comrades, okay? I mean it. For once.”

Kieran didn’t smoke the cigarette. He just held it, like in solidarity. This, all of this seemed to make him tremendous with relief and joy. “I got it,” he said, bucking up. “Comrades.”

“Good,” said Arthur.

After a minute then, they got up to fix the rabbits on the fire. Kieran started making the coffee. Mary Beth was still sleeping, spectacularly so. It had been quite the ordeal, the night before, thought Arthur. She must have needed it.

“How old are you anyway?” said Arthur. “I’m just curious.”

“I’m twenty-one,” said Kieran.

“My word,” said Arthur.

“What’s that?”

“I just mean—you learn how to read, and then you need to get yourself out of this mess. You’d be a fine a ranch hand somewhere. You don’t need us.”

“It ain’t always about need, Arthur,” said Kieran, closing the cap on the percolator. “I don’t much like being alone.”

Arthur thought on this. It rang with him in an unsuspecting way.

“Where do you wanna get married?” said Kieran in another couple minutes. “In a church, maybe? In front of God and all?”

“Maybe,” said Arthur. “A church would be…good. Something like that would be real nice, I reckon. I ain’t never really been religious. But I think Mary Beth was raised Protestant.”

“Well, that sounds fine,” said Kieran.

Arthur cleared his throat then. He had begun to turn the rabbits over the fire. “Hey Kieran,” he said. He looked up at the early morning sky. It seemed filled with birds.

“Yeah?”

“You do a lot of good work with the animals around camp. That’s something I especially appreciate.”    

“I know.”

“Do you got a horse of your own?”

“No,” said Kieran. The coffee was just about done now. Somewhere nearby, there were the sounds of shuffling livestock, but you couldn’t see nothing. It must have been over the ridge. “I been saving though. Almost got enough.”

“Well, when we get back to Shady Belle, why don’t you keep Diana? At least for the time being, until you can afford a steed of your choosing.”

“Really?” said Kieran.

“Yeah,” said Arthur. “Why not. She’s clearly taken to you, and she ain’t the fastest, but she’s a good girl, real brave, and she deserves a good rider. She’ll serve you well.”

“Wow, I—but wait. I ain’t seen her since Rhodes. What if—what if something happened?”

“She’s fine,” said Arthur, waving him off. “She turned up at camp all by her lonesome. It’s what tipped us off you was in trouble.”

This seemed to bring him considerable relief. “Well, thank you, Arthur. That’s real generous of you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Mary Beth stirred then, in her bedroll nearby. The sun was up, and she must have smelled the coffee and heard the talking. She sat up, and she had a great big leaf in her hair. “Morning, y’all,” she said. “Is that coffee?”

Arthur smirked when he saw her. “Sure is. Good morning, sleepy head. You dream well?”

“I did,” she said. “The stars, they agree with me. Hey, Kieran.”

“Hey, Mary Beth,” he said. “You know, you got a big leaf in your hair.”

This surprised her. Arthur laughed to himself. “Oh,” she said, picking it out. “Thanks, Kieran.”

“Of course.”

“You should put it back,” said Arthur, still with that smirk. “I liked it there.”

“Yeah well, you would, Arthur Morgan.” She tossed the leaf into the sand.

When they got back to Shady Belle that afternoon, it was a comfortable scene. Many were sprawled out in the hot sun, taking naps, and Javier played his guitar down by the swamp’s edge while Karen sang. John and Abigail were out rocking on the front porch, a book shared between them. John was giving her some light lessons on reading.

“There you go,” he was saying. “You got it, Abbie.”

She blushed every time he encouraged her. “Oh, please,” she said. “I’m terrible.”

“You are not,” said John. “Just a little practice. That’s all you need. You’re doing great.”

She shoved him, playful. “Be quiet, John Marston.”

When Arthur and Mary Beth came up the yard with Kieran, they closed the book and came rushing. They were relieved to see everybody okay, but almost as if premeditated, Abigail had scooped up Mary Beth and drug her inside. “You’re telling me everything,” she said. Mary Beth was confused. In any case, she went along anyway, and the two of them were gone as quick as birds off the wire.

Meanwhile, Kieran was beat. Arthur eased him onto one of the old cots inside the mansion, the one where Mary Beth had used to sleep. Tilly came in, happy to see he was okay. She offered to keep a watch on him for a little while that afternoon. Pearson did as well. Hosea was sleeping in his room with all the windows open. Apparently, Miss. Grimshaw was on some sort of a tear with Dutch still at large. Most were eagerly looking to avoid her wrath.

With Kieran taken care of and the girls upstairs, Arthur and John went outside to the back porch to have a smoke. John seemed agitated.

“What’s with you?” said Arthur after a little while, lighting a cigarette from his pocket, handing it over to John. He then let one for himself. “And what’s with Abigail? Whisking Mary Beth off like that? Something going on?”

John took a quick drag, scratched at the scruff along his jawline. “Charles and Sadie stopped through this morning,” he said, “on their way into St. Denis. With Colm O’Driscoll’s dead body.”

“Yeah. Dutch killed him,” said Arthur. “Can you believe it? They’re going in for the bounty. Ought to be a nice little sum for us.”

“I guess,” said John.

Arthur took to eye-balling him then, trying to figure him through. “Something else on your mind, John?

“Yeah,” said John, huffing. “There is.”

“Okay.”

“Sadie said you was engaged,” he went on. “You and Mary Beth. You’re getting married?”

Arthur sighed, flicked the cigarette. It figured, that’s what Abigail was on about. “Sadie,” he muttered, surveying the lividity of the swamp, smoking.

“Jesus Christ,” John said, “were you gonna tell anyone?”

Arthur gave him a look. “Of course.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“It happened like five days ago,” said Arthur. “We was just keeping it between us, just for a little while. A couple can’t share a goddam moment between them? We gotta paint it on a banner, wave it all over town?”

“No,” said John. “But you could’ve...you could’ve told me. I’m happy for you. And I wanna...I wanna know things.”

“You wanna know things.”

“Yeah,” said John, almost growing defensive. But then he calmed down, nodded, looking out at the swamps with his chest puffed up. “Yeah. I do.”

Arthur smiled. “Well, ain’t that nice.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. But you gotta understand. It ain’t been a lot of quiet moments since we got back.”

“I know,” said John. “And…it’s okay. I just—congratulations, brother.”

“Thank you.”

They smoked. They listened to the haunted noises of the trees. It was windy.

“So,” said Arthur, adjusting his hat. “You teaching Abigail how to read?”

“I’m doing my best,” said John, shrugging. “I mean, I ain’t you. I don’t do…poetry. But I can hold my own. We’re reading Huckleberry Finn.”

Arthur nodded. “You know, I think you might like poetry, if you just gave it a shot.”

John looked at him, real earnest. “You think so?”

Arthur smiled, became serious. “It’s a real thoughtful thing, you teaching her to read. She appreciates it. Even if she don’t say so.”

John sighed, looked around, still seeming a little stressed by all this. This husband stuff, father stuff. “Well, I’m trying,” he said.

“You’re doing fine.”

“What about you?” said John. “How are you doing? Charles said there was some bad business with Colm. That he threatened Mary Beth?”

“Yeah, he did,” said Arthur. They could hear Jack now, like he’d just woke up, yelling for Abigail out front. “She’s okay.”

“Are you okay?” said John.

“I’m fine,” said Arthur. “A little banged up, nothing serious.”

“No, I mean—I mean with Mary Beth being in danger. I know how you get.”

“How I get?”

“Yeah,” said John. “You get worried. You’re a worrier, Arthur.”

“I am not,” said Arthur, knowing full well he was lying. “Anyway. It’s okay now. And I need to talk to Hosea about some things but then me and Mary Beth, we’re thinking of heading up north for a little while. Leaving tonight, for a couple weeks.”

“Up north?” said John. “Where to?”

“We got a place we’d like to visit, just the two of us, in the Roanoke Valley. But then we plan on swinging back down through Emerald Station to stay at a bed and breakfast there. You and Abigail and the boy, you should come meet us. In about ten days time. We could go fishing, shoot the shit a little. Relax.”

John was surprised, scuffed his boot across the porch wood. “Meet you in Emerald Station?”

“You don’t have to,” said Arthur. “But we know the people who run the place and they’re real nice. They know we’re outlaws and they don’t make no fuss so, that’s good. Anyway it was just a suggestion. I thought maybe you might wanna get them outta here, even just for a couple of days. We’re still planning on leaving, on that permanent basis we discussed, but I think Mary Beth would like to know that we are not leaving too much chaos in our wake. I’m not sure I agree. But I’m compromising, for the time being, as long as things stay quiet.”

John seemed to think on this, nodded. He looked around. Out by the water they saw Pearson with his bucket and his rod and reel. He was getting into the canoe there. “Yeah,” said John. “Maybe. That might be nice. Meeting you all.”

“Let me know,” said Arthur. “Talk to Abigail. Like I said, just meet us there in ten days—from tomorrow, if you do decide. Either way, I’ll mark the place for you on a map. It’s a big homestead with a lot of rooms.”

“Sounds real good,” said John.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Abigail holed them both up in Arthur’s room and was trying to get Mary Beth to tell her all about Arthur’s proposal. Mary Beth was distracted. She didn’t much feel like talking, but she was trying to humor Abigail. She liked Abigail very much. She was glad they were becoming better friends. She looked forward to a life in which they got to do this everyday, safely somewhere else, with the boys nearby and the air so clean—all of it so clean.

“He just…asked,” she said, shrugging. She sat down on the bed. She was taking her braids out and then putting them back in again. “Or, more like, he suggested. We was lying here, and tired, and it was the end of the day, and he said, ‘Marry me.’ It was romantic in a quiet sort of way, in his way. Arthur ain’t a man of grand gestures, and I appreciate that. I think—I think I been living my life for a long time on the fictional pretense of grand gestures. So much books and stories. And I love stories, but this felt real. It felt like it should feel. Like it’s made to last.” She sighed, shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m doing a bad job explaining.” She looked down at her boots.

“I think you’re explaining just fine,” said Abigail. “You got such a beautiful way with words. It’s beautiful. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks,” said Mary Beth, straightening the pillows. “That means a lot.”

“What’s the matter?” said Abigail, coming to sit next to her. The small bed creaked beneath their weight. “Ain’t you excited?”

“Of course,” said Mary Beth. “I love Arthur.”

“Then why you seem so glum?” said Abigail. “Mary Beth? Is it because of what happened? I heard it was bad. I heard it was Colm O’Driscoll back on his shit. Fuckin asshole. But he’s dead now. Old Dutch saw to that. You don’t have to be scared no more. You’re safe.”

Mary Beth smiled at this. She was playing with the hem of her skirt now where the threading was coming apart. “I know. I ain’t scared of no O’Driscolls, Abigail. He wasn’t even much to see. I been in tighter spots this very month.”

“What is it then?”

“I just—I got a lot on my mind.”

“You can tell me,” said Abigail. She scooped up her hands. She had such a warmth about her. You’d never know till you got close enough.

Mary Beth took a deep breath. She met Abigail eye to eye. “I’m running…kind of late,” she said.

“Late?”

“My period. It’s late.”

Abigail got quiet. She straightened up real good. She lowered her voice. “How late?”

“Like a week, maybe a little more? I just know it shoulda come by now.”

“How you feeling?”

“I feel fine,” said Mary Beth. “Why?”

But then, they heard Arthur. He was coming up the stairs, his familiar footsteps, and he opened the door. “Mary Beth?”

“Hey,” she said, smiling, teeth and all.

“You almost ready, baby doll? We should ride if we’re gonna make it past the marshes by dark. Otherwise I wanna wait till morning.”

“Sure,” she said. “I’ll just—I’ll be one minute.”

“Okay,” he said, looking bright. “Hey, Abigail.”

“Hey, Arthur.”

He smiled then and went away and closed the door behind him.

Mary Beth sat very still. Abigail was blushing. “Baby doll,” she said, mimicking his deep voice. “That’s your baby’s daddy, Mary Beth. Boy oh boy he loves you. Old sad eyes Arthur Morgan. I never seen him so goddam happy.”

Mary Beth nudged her. “Shh,” she said, her stomach doing backflips.

“When are you gonna tell him?” said Abigail.

By now, Mary Beth’s hem had come completely loose. She’d have to resew it by hand. She took a deep breath, nervous for some reason she could not put her finger on. It wasn’t the possibility of the baby making her nervous. It was something adjacent to the baby, but it wasn’t the baby. What was it? “Not till I know for sure,” she said.

It brought the whole world down into perspective for Mary Beth. Very, very fast.

[severalbakuras]

s2e17 and 18!

I҉̡̡͓̦̘̜̖̠͜ ̧̢͍̪͎̖̩̰͉̭̞̱͕̬̟̟̲̰͚̺͘T̷̸̛̞͈̙͇͇̠̼̀̕ ͏̞͕̩̣̩̳̺̼̘̭͉̞̀B̷̧̨̦̬͉̜͟͞ ̶̢̟̱̮̹̩̯̳͙͔̞͎̖̙͚̭͖̣̤͟͝É̡̙̗͖̫͇̤ ̤͓͔̮̺̺̩͖͙͘G͏̧̯͇̖̜̳̙̻̥̝̱̳̹̮͈̼̟̠͞ ̵̷̱͕͕̹̠̻̲̞̱͓̜̗̳͉̘͍͙̯I̷̶͜҉̪̼͚̫͖̬̖̦̬̤͕̥̬ ̡҉̶̖̼̫̹͕̗̣̖̙̯̻N̢̼̗̫͕̖̯̯̜̲͚͕̞̗͟͞ ͜͡҉̶̨̥̙̙͚̮̹͕̼͉͈ͅͅS̶̢͉͖͕̭̥͓̺͇͍͎ ̴̶̸̮͍̺̯̻̦̞̭̘̀͜

dipper and mabel vs the future: NIGHTMARE CHIN

they’re gonna be teeeeens

it’s not that great mabel trust

stan that’s not the only thing you’re going through…

even the mini-shack loses its s…

he’s not your personal gremlin ford. also hey what happened to staying away from the kids like you promised?

given your usual fixit standards just get some duct tape on there.

ford chill jesus just because you act like you hate stan doesn’t mean dipper hates mabel jeez.

oh mabel…

aw he wants to talk to her too…

aliens?

aliens.

familiarity breeds complacency ford.

it’s interesting that everywhere besides earth/’s galaxy has no issues countering bill’s nonsense as far as i can tell. i guess he picked earth/’s galaxy because it was the only place he could handle B)

aww mabel… this show happened fast too.

WHAT DID I SAY FORD

ford no.

ford no don’t turn him into you.

HIS PARENTS DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU FORD.

YOU DON’T KNOW MABEL EITHER FORD.

SHUT THE FUCK UP WHAT DID I ALREADY SAY ABOUT PROJECTING YOUR STAN ISSUES.

that’s STUPID advice ford!!!

NO PRESSURE FORD.

NO HIS HAT

check the rift soon dude that was a hard impact.

this whole time stan and ford haven’t even tried to reconcile this is going to end badly.

‘hold you back’ shut UP ford.

he almost died today mabel, several times.

mabel i get why it sucks for you but he’s not wrong. sad and bad things happen out of everyone’s control all the time and there’s nothing anyone can do about it but deal. 

blendin?

why are you here blendin?

do not trust.

ford ffs.

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR FAMILY THINGS FORD SHE’D KNOW WHY THAT WAS IMPORTANT IF YOU J

AAAA BILL

how’d he snatch blendin up? what could he have possibly offered?????????

yeesh those are some bleak credits with all that screaming. v. second impact.

weirdmageddon, part 1:

here we go here we go here we FUCKIN’ GO

HE’S A REAL LIFE FLESH BOY NOW

he has organs that means he has blood and that means he can bleed.

and we all know what it means if something can bleed.

mabel no.

3-tier pyramid is a downgrade.

black with a neon rainbow border as a 2d triangle is an upgrade though. use that look more often bill.

i like his friends, i’m glad he has some.

GO MAYOR

DADFICA SUCKS ONCE MORE

WOAHHHHHH

NO GIVE HIM HIS DEPUTY BACK

oh this music’s good

but if chaos is the new order doesn’t that make chaos order and order chaos and thus the most chaotic thing to do would surely be not do what everyone expects you to do and leave with no harm done?

OOOOOH THE INTRO

BLOOD RIVER

gotta pause for some of those photos goddam

‘draw me like one of your french triangles~’

mahou shoujo bill cipher magica.

TEETH

i’d be down to watch the adventures of mill, dill, still, will and sill. (that sweater and the hat is legit cute won’t lie. damn u bill)

GNOMEPEDE

not quite dipper but your danger instincts are on point.

any plans to tell stan about this?

that’s a cool-ass tsunami.

GO SOOS

HE’S FREE

gideon’s lol-edgy at best.

YOU WANTED THIS???

HIS HAT’S FLESHY TOO

has he lost some of his all-knowingy ness or is he just basking in himself?

WOAH

bill’s got the terror blink-dash down.

having a shield over his eye means he doesn’t want you hitting his eye. that’s a weakness.

aaand there they go. didn’t think they’d survive the series.

that whale’s just chilling.

oh my god they’re nightmare nerds.

damn she’s dedicated.

woah dipper you’ve done pretty well surviving alone so far.

hey it’s attack on titan if the titans could talk.

TRAP

oh phew.

I SUPPORT BODACIOUS T

wendy owns.

awful kind of bill to label her prison.

MONSTER EDM PARTY

wait possessing? so he never made a deal and just took blendin by force? when did that escalation of his abilities happen?

ugggh time baby.

honestly i’m not even mad, time baby’s lame.

EYE MOUTH

you should be dude.

gideon was here.

NOO BODACIOUS T

it’s gone all mad max

of course gideon would turn.

fuckin’ nasty gideon.

GO WENDY BREAK THOSE BONES

DROPKICK THAT CHILD WENDY DO IT

LET HIM PHILOSOPHIZE BRAT

BIRDIPPER!!

ANIME!!

MEAT!!

LIVE-ACTION!!

oh dear.

SOOS!!!!!!!

SOOS, LEGEND OF THE WASTES, TELL ME OF THESE FOLKSONGS.

trust the prisoners gideon!!!

fucking finally gets a clue. we did miss soos throwing down though.

honestly i feel kinda bad for this guy, even if he eats people.

[hamishsteele]

No man I just think it's sort of cute that like, you'll spend time and energy making up special little tips and tricks to getting along while being morbidly obese but you sort of miss the best tip and trick of all: restricting your caloric intake to below your caloric expenditure. Science 101 yo :) (And btw I know your comic wasn't for me, which is what makes it kind of sad-- you're using influence to encourage and normalise morbid lifestyle illness. Pls go get your arteries checked)

Just advice for the future whenever you get into comment thread arguments as I’m sure you do, the whole “why are you doing this, when you could be doing this” argument is so goddam short sighted and stupid.

You have no idea if I’m trying to loose weight or not. You have no idea if I go to the gym, eat healthy, go to the doctor etc. And whether I do or not doesn’t matter to the comic. The fact that I bring deodorant out with me in case I get sweaty has literally nothing to do with my thoughts on weight loss.

The thing about being fat is it only affects me. Whereas you’ve got a nasty attitude which is way worse cos it affects others.

Stop being so smug, it ain’t cute.