#but god man. i am so sick of coming online and seeing people act like setting boundaries or not being comfy sharing is a moral failing

[saturdays--sun]

i am once again saying that there is nothing wrong with being a non-sharing selfshipper. there's nothing wrong with blocking people who share one (or multiple) of your f/os. there's nothing wrong with telling doubles not to interact with you. setting boundaries for yourself and your online space is a moral neutral and has nothing to do with being "insecure" or some other negative. if you find that insulting or belittling, that's on you; not on the person setting the boundary. quit trying to make non-sharers into bad guys.

[whyse7vn]

DOWN BAD -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JOON4PRESIDENT

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

y/n: hi

tae: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ?

tae: holy fuck ur so fucking funny😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭

jimin: i BEG you let that man hit

at this point it’s embarrassing

tae: pls

jk: i think ur funny too

namjoon: shame is free

tae: idk what that’s supposed to mean

jk: it means shame is free i think

y/n: is that why you’ve been at my house for the last 2 weeks??

cuz you wanna hit??

yoongi: 2 weeks??

jin: down so fucking bad

jk: i thought tae was here cuz he missed us?

tae: I AM I SWAER

but if y/n let me hit in the time i was here i wouldn’t be mad

y/n: ur sick

hobi: why have you let tae stay in ur house for 2 weeks?

y/n: he FORCED his way in here

tae: not true jungkook willingly let me in

jin: jungkooks not even a real person so that doesn’t count

jk: i’m real

i think

jimin: i’m telling you he needed that 100k for rent

yoongi: taehyung homeless era

tae: I HAVE A HOME

y/n: ur not acting like it

tae: home is where the heart is

and my hearts with you bbg

y/n: leave

jk: am i real?

tae: are you a construction worker?

jk: no

tae: cuz ur a building

namjoon: what?

tae: 😉

@y/n

not you namjoon or jungkook

y/n: it’s hard

the life i live

hobi: hard like a criminal hard like the beat

tae: my rizz is out of this world it’s actually insane

jimin: do you know what rizz means?

bcs you can’t be fr

jk: isn’t rizz a type of cheese?

yoongi: this is my competition…

y/n: ur thinking of swiss cheese kook

jk: I AM

how did you know that??

y/n: can one of you guys come a get tae from us pls im begging you

jimin: i can’t read sorry

jin: i’m literally blind

hobi: 🫣

y/n: i fear his stupidness is rubbing off on jungkook

yoongi: i think he’s just naturally dumb as hell

jk: who

yoongi: see

y/n: plS my biggest fear in this life is waking up to furry jk

tae: ummm

that would have nothing to do with my influence

yoongi: call animal control maybe they’ll help you with tae?

tae: ??????

y/n: NAMJOON PLS UR MY ONLY HOPE PLS PLS PLS

namjoon: i’m not here

tae: CAN SOMONE DEFEND ME LIKE OMG???

jUNGKOOK TELL HER HER GREAT I AM

jk: he’s great

tae: UR NO HELP FUCK U

i’m gonna kill myself in front of you all in the most horrific way and change ur lives forever and NO amount of therapy will help you forget or move on

jk: ok i’m ready

tae: i’m leaving

y/n: god bless 🙏🏽

tae: ur obsessed with me get help

i hate you all

losers

gosh

fucking bitches the LOT of you

L

AWOOOOOOO

lone wolf era

jimin: what the fuck

namjoon: are you done?

tae: yeah :/

y/n: do you feel better now??

tae: as better as i can be in a situation like this :/

hobi: what situation?

tae: wdym?

jin: he has to be brain dead or something

tae: right hoseok stupid as hell

jk: i think jimin is talking about you bro

tae: jungkook ur young i wouldn’t expect you to understand

jk: ur right

y/n: they changed the korean age system isnt that crazy

jin: DON’T TALK ABOUT AGE

jimin: it’s a sensitive topic for him cuz he’s still old no matter what

namjoon: please

jk: i’m 25

jin: IDC SHUT UP

y/n: yikes

hobi: jungkook has been 25 for like 10 years

jk: that’s not true that makes no sense

hobi are you bad at maths?

hobi: don’t speak to me

tae: jimin you smell the best in the group

y/n: why are you smelling people?

hobi: furry

tae: after the loml ofc

jk: jennie?

tae: SHUT UP

jk: did you break up again???

tae: KICK HIM KICK HIMMM

jimin: what do i smell like?

tae: like vanilla i love it soOOOO much

it’s like a sweet vanilla but not so strong it overpowers ur senses it’s just right

i could eat you

jimin: i wish bitches i wanted said shit like this

but it’s just you

thx ig

tae: ???????

jin: that’s frfr creepy as hell tbh

why is he actually sniffing people is that not insane

jimin: don’t be mad you don’t smell like sweet vanilla

jin: i’m actually glad

look at what ur attracting

hobi: furries

jin: right

tae: 𝖘𝖍𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖚𝖕

jk: WOAH

CALM DOWN TAE CALM DOWN TAE ITS OKAY ITS JUST US 😰😨😭

jimin: again what the actual fuck

tae: ur right i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get like that guys

jk: it’s okay

namjoon: they’re actually insane oh my god

y/n: i have seen a real decline in jungkooks mental state since the arrival of tae at our home

yoongi: again i think that’s just jungkook

y/n: no i know jungkook

jk: yeah she knows me

i know her

we have a connection you wouldn’t understand yoongi

y/n: and i know for a FACT he’s not that dumb

hobi: dumb dumb

jk: right i’m not that dumb

tae: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY RN???

jk: wait

namjoon: tae go back to therapy

jimim: begging you

jin: awoman🙏🏻

tae: NO

I TOLD YOU LAST TIME

SHE LAUGHED AT ME

THE THERAPIST

I WONT I WONT I WONT

you can’t make me

it’s a free world

jk: you can buy the world??

yoongi: what do people see in you?

jk: whom?

y/n: LMAOOOO

namjoon: jungkook are you high rn?

jk: am i what?

namjoon: high

jk: hello

work on ur spelling joon

jimin: who tf is supplying him with this shit

jin: bet it was tae

tae: NO LOL

LOL

LOL

yoongi: so it was tae

y/n: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING JUNGKOOK HIGH THESE LAST 2 WEEKS TAE???????

namjoon: this explains a lot

hobi: this is why he’s been messaging shit to my phone at like 2 in the morning

crazy

jk: who

tae: NO

LOL

y/n: HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED???

jimin: right you dumb as hell tbh

namjoon: does it not smell??

jin: namjoon drug expert

tae: MAYBE HES BEEN TAKING EDIBLES

FROM SOMEONE WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP???

LOL

yoongi: why are you giving ur self away like that

you really are stupid

jk: yeah stupid

yoongi: don’t ever agree with me again

jk: in y/ns bed rn

hobi: fight fight fight

yoongi: been there multiple times

jk: um ur lying

im here every night

i haven’t run into you in the last 4 months

tae: DONR TELL ME YOU LET JUNGKOOK HIT BEFOR ME OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE RNNNNNNNNNNN

LIKE JUNGKOOK

ARE YOU FR .:’sk

omGGGH

NOOOSODODOD

jk: i’ve never hit a woman in my life

it’s not right pls don’t hit y/n

y/n: he comes to cuddle sometimes

yoongi: he does?

jk: everyday actually

she’s lying

jin: i’m gonna kill 14 puppies in-front of taehyung and see what happens

tae: why me

jin: you’re n need of a personality change

tae: i’m fine the way i am??

love urself and others will love you for you

we made a whole album about it?

jin: i’m not loving you for you tbh

and a LOT of people would say the same

tae: you guys are lucky i’m not sensitive

y/n: i’ve always been a lucky girly

hobi: you literally live with jungkook?

jk: yes?

hobi: nothing

jk: if you remember lmk ^^

tae: y/n do you have ugly man syndrome or something?

y/n: ??

tae: idk you just seem to enjoy being friendly with ugly men

y/n: never once have i said i’ve enjoyed ur company

tae: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IM THE UGLY MAN??

y/n: you said it not me…

tae: anything jungkook can do i 110% do it better

unless it’s lack common sense

i’m pretty full of common sense

jimin: that’s actually not true

y/n: maybe that’s what gets jungkook cuddles?

jk: when?

yoongi: being stupid?

y/n: yeah maybe he’s a loser and i find it endearing

yoongi: lol

hobi: me when i’m jealous

tae: IM ACTUALLY THE BIGGESt LOSER AROUND

TELL HER GUYS

namjoon: the biggest!

jimin: HE SOOOOOO DUMB ITS CRAZY

hobi: i feel the need to kick him every time i see him type of loser

jin: he’s such a loser actually i still bully him to this day

tae: not too much now

hobi: okay i can’t do this anymore let’s address the elephant in the room

jimin: namjoon…

namjoon: wtf?

y/n: don’t be mean

jk: are you guys in all in a room without me?

tae: u-um >.<

jin: did he just stutter through text?

y/n: pls stop

jk: where is the elephant??

jin: jungkook go to bed or something ur pissing me off now

jk: sleep well jin

namjoon: gn jin

jin: don’t feed into his shit namjoon

jk: y/n are you with the elephant?

yoongi: y/N aRe yOu wItH tHE eLepHaNt

jimin: what the beef omg?

tae: what is this elephant hobi-senpai ?!!!

i’m sitting on the edge of my seat

♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

jk: me 2

hobi: tae you need to learn how to get a fucking grip and shut the fuck up

…

FYI JK AND Y/N ARE LIVING TOGETHER FOR THE FUNZIES OKAY? FOR THE GIRLIES THAT DO NOT KNOW

the rest of the members have their own houses and are lonely losers

[dailyrmdoodle]

Perusing your Royal Margarine playlist because of course I am (rm enjoyer) and I'm REALLY invested in the musical vibes..... Could you talk about what made you put some of these songs in the playlist? You don't have to explain the decision-making process for the inclusion of Every song on there, just the ones you'd like to discuss :)

Also saw Cannibal Queen by Miniature Tigers on there and 1) YAYYY I LOVE THAT SONG AND BAND 2) I enjoy it for RM 😊 if you were willing to listen to another Miniature Tigers song (especially for RM), I would recommend Bullfighter Jacket

YESYES YES GGGGRGEHRGRGRHRG MY PLAYLIST IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME, HALF OF MY DISEASE COMES FROM THERE, IM SICK, IM SICK, OOOUUUGHH THIS MAN, IVE DEDICATED HOURS OF MY LIFE TO HIM

ahem

Most of the songs I have on there can fall into a few categories, there's a lot of stuff so let's see if I can list them out, uhhh...

Songs that reflect his mental state and the way the acts, why he does things, what he's actually thinking underneath, things like that. (Some examples of those I'd say are like, My ugly, Puppet loosely strung, Noel's lament, The view from halfway down, One big beautiful sound, and many others that I can't list or else we'll be here all day.) Most of those songs end up being from musicals, because musical songs are really meant for showing character and that works great for my purposes. Also they're quite jazzy and swing-y for lack of a better term, which I think it fits him pretty well!

Pining and breakup songs, because holy shit look at him. You cannot tell me this man hasn't had like, so many people that he pines for or had a crush on at some point. *Slaps trunk of car* this bad boy can fit so many unrequited crushes in him. RM to me is the kind of guy that gets crushes very easily and very fast, and the worst thing is they're pretty genuine! He's just, terrible at commitment and honestly uses romance to not have to think about the parts of his life that he doesn't want, so he puts all his self worth into romance specifically. I'm going to squish him.

Songs that just generally fit his vibes to me tbh? I have at least a few instrumentals in there, and they give me him thoughts so I put them in. It's fun to imagine him being stupid and goofy and dancing tango (I still wanna animate that someday)

Sad ass songs because yeah. These fit in the first category, but they also deserve their own category because there's just, too many of them. HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS, BUT HE HAS SO MANY OF THEM. God please let him actually be genuine and open up God please.

Thirst trap songs I stole from some edits online. Next.

Sometimes shitpost songs that I think are funny and yet they still fit him, like blonde boyz and red flags. It's funny idk what to tell you. I don't have too many of those on there but I am accepting more because they make my day.

Songs that make me think of animatics and scenes!! These also go for a lot of musical songs, but also JHARIAH WHEN I CATCH YOU JHARIAH. Usually these make me sad!

Usually, a song will definitely fit these categories, but it's also very VERY common that I will just, grab a song and streeeecth it meaning wise so it can fit in his playlist because I already liked that song before and I like my blorbo being associated with one of my favorite songs. There are so many of those in there.

And I think that's it? I might've missed some category, but that's fine. I can also definitely go into specific detail about each and every song on that playlist if asked but I will not do that on this post because that would be SO MANY WORDS. Indulge me someday perhaps however, if you dare.

(And btw, I listened to that song!! I like it a lot!! It is in his playlist now :) stoopid pining man <3)

[theinvisiblecapricorn]

Surprise, surprise.

Author's note: This is my first ever written one shot. The inspiration popped into my head during my shower. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy

Fluffy one shot.

Part 1.

// Introduction //

A little info about Y/N and Vinnie.

So, you guys met during the first Covid lockdown.

You weren’t really seeing anyone of your friends during this time because you didn’t feel like taking any risks. So the only way for you to interact with anyone, was via social media. Before lockdown you also kind of give up on the idea of finding a lover because the last time you gave it a shot it didn’t work out.

You remember one of your best friends told you ‘’ Once you start focusing on yourself, it’ll come to you. ‘’ Well, what better way to focus on yourself other than during quarantine?

That’s when Vinnie came into the picture.

After many failed attempts of having a normal conversation with serval people, the last thing Vinnie expected was to meet someone like you. A lot of the time people tried to take advantage of the fact that he was famous. They would post his personal info on social media and share their conversations for clout. Just like you, Vinnie was kind of over the idea of meeting someone who would like him for his personality instead of his name.

You guys instantly clicked. It felt like talking to someone you’ve known your entire life. There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t share with another. But because the two of you lived in different time zones you couldn’t talk as much as you’d like, but you made it manageable. There was only one problem; traveling was not an option due to Covid, so the two of you had never seen each other in real life.

Until now…

// End of introduction //

Alex (Warren) set up his camera to make a video.

He clicked on record and looked into the camera.

‘’ So as you guys know, Vinnie and Y/N met online in the beginning of Covid, but they’ve never officially seen each other in real life. Now that traveling is allowed again and Vinnie hasn’t been feeling himself lately, I thought it was a good idea to surprise him. I bought y/n a plan ticket so she can come over and hopefully cheer Vinnie up. And I will document the entire journey. ‘’

// Vinnie’s POV //

It’s noon. I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through TikTok. I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. Normally she would call me before going to bed herself, but she never did. I tried texting her but no reply.

Y/NNNN????

Yo bro, you there???

I miss your voiceeee

Please don’t be asleep already 

Pick up!!!!!! Or else I’m coming for you.

God, I wish I could just fly to wherever she was at and kiss her entire face. Because, yes, I am indeed in love with her, and she feels the same way about me. I just never thought I could recognize so much of myself in someone else. She’s the most kind, beautiful and loving person I know, and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms one day and never let go.

I’m starting to daydream about a life with y/n without the long distance, because it truly sucks. Then I hear a knock on the door and before I know it Alex comes rushing in with his camera in his hand.

( Vinnie & Alex )

‘’ Vinnie, say hello to everyone! ‘’

‘’ Hello everyone. Alex what do you want? ‘’

‘’ Why are you assuming I want something from you? ‘’

‘’ Because you only enter my room if you either have one of your crazy ideas to share or if you want me to get involved in something I probably shouldn’t get involved into. ‘’

‘’ Pfft, not true. My ideas aren’t crazy, they’re brilliant in their own way. ‘’

Alex grins at me. Suspiciously.

‘’ Anyways that’s not the point Vincent, I actually came in to see if you would join me to get some groceries because the only thing left are rise waffles and I’m starving. ‘’

Alex is blinking his eyes with the same grin he has had on from the moment he came into my room.

He’s not going to leave until I agree on coming. So before I know it, we’re on our way to the grocery store.

// Y/N’s POV //

I received a text from Alex a few weeks ago. He told me about his idea to surprise Vinnie. I couldn’t be more excited. Ever since Vinnie and I started talking I have pushed many of my personal boundaries. In a positive way. Vinnie has helped me regain trust in others and has showed me that love is real. I have lost my faith in love due to my previous experiences. That’s why the connection that I have with Vinnie is so important to me.

I have arrived at the airport as I turn on my phone. My phone starts to receive all the missed text messages and calls from Vinnie. I smile as I read through them.

‘’ Oh Vin, if only you knew ‘’ I think to myself.

I hear someone yelling my name behind me. As I turn around, I see Nailea running towards me.

Nailea is a close friend of Vinnie so of course she was the first to know about Vinnie’s contact with me. She’s been super kind to me, and I consider her as the sister I never had.

Nailea hugs me once she has approached me.

( Y/N & Nailea )

‘’ OH MY GOD. Girl, I am so happy that you’re finally hereeeee!!! ’’

I laugh as I see people around looking at us.

‘’ I am also very happy to be here. To finally meet everyone. For real. ‘’

‘’ Yea, now tell me, does my nose look bigger on the screen than in real life? ‘’

‘’ Hahaha, no Nai. You look fantastic on the screen and even better in real life. ‘’

Nailea and I take my stuff and walk out of the airport.

Once settled in the car, I receive a text from Alex:

We’re almost at the store. He hasn’t got a clue. See you there.

This is all a part of Alex his big plan. First, I will act like a regular costumer shopping at the same store as Vinnie and Alex. Then once they get back, Alex will distract Vinnie just a little longer, so he won’t notice me walking past the car right away. Brilliant.

// Vinnie’s POV //

Alex and I walk into the store.

‘’ Alright, what do we need? ‘’

‘’ Anything but rise waffles. ‘’

I shake my head, laughing, as I walk to the lemonade aisle.

Alex is taking out his camera and starts filming me from a far.

I start singing Paparazzi by Lady Gaga as I act like I'm hiding from him.

‘’ Oh, you should also take a few cans of coke. ‘’ Alex suggests.

As I walk towards the aisle with cans of lemonade, I notice a girl standing in front of it. Her hair instantly reminds me of Y/N. The exact same length, color and texture. Call me a simp, but I just pay a lot of attention to the girl I love. I slowly approach the girl before Alex attacks be by throwing a teddy bear on my head.

‘’ Hey, watch it! ‘’ I fix my hair.

‘’ Sorry man, I just know how much you like teddy bears. ‘’ Alex’s laughing out loud as he zooms in to my face.

I laugh, as I start to think back to the day Alex thought it would be funny to buy a giant teddy bear and have Patrick in it to scare me.

Just then, I notice the girl was gone. I didn’t see her anywhere else again.

After collecting all the stuff, we needed, we went home.

Once we arrived home, Alex stopped me before I opened my car door.

‘’ Let’s just sit here for a bit and talk about some stuff. ‘’ I stare at Alex with a confused look on my face.

‘’ Yea, because the viewers want to know, how are things going between you and Y/N? ‘’

I scratch the back of my neck and start feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

‘’ I mean, it’s hard sometimes. She’s one of the most important people in my life, yet I haven’t even met her in person. But I just know that once I do, that everything will naturally fall into it’s place. ‘’

Alex pouts as he listens to all the sweet things I have to say.

‘’ You really like her, don’t you? ‘’

‘’ I mean, yea I do. I really do. ‘’

‘’ Alright, so imagine her standing in front of you right now, what would you do? ‘’

I look at my hands as I start to imagine a situation like that.

‘’ Uh… If she was standing in front of me right now.. I would.. ‘’ My eyes scan a figure walking past the car and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

// Y/N’s POV //

Shit, I almost got caught. The plan was to go into the store, just to admire Vinnie from a far. I didn’t plan to stand in the exact aisle, where he needed to get something from. Luckily, Alex had a plan to distract Vinnie while I fled to the exit. Phew, that was close.

Alex texted me, saying they were on their way home. That’s when it hit me, I am going to be able to see, touch and kiss Vinnie for the first time ever. Nailea noticed my anxiety kicking in and she told me everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Alex’s car pulled up on the driveway. Alex and Vinnie stayed in the car for a bit. My phone started buzzing as I read the notification: ‘’ Now!’’ That was my cue.

As nervous as one can be, I walked past the car with the person who’s the other half of my heart in it. I didn’t dare to look in his direction.

// Vinnie’s POV //

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This isn’t real right? Was I dreaming? I mean, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was worried sick due to Y/N not responding to me anymore.

I rub my eyes as I watch in the direction of the person again and there’s no way it couldn’t be her.

Then she turns her face into my direction and my heart starts pounding. There she is, the love of my life, the only person who can make my day just by popping up in my notifications, Y/N.

As I try to open my door, I hear Alex locking it.

‘’ Let me out! ‘’ I look at Alex as I try to unlock the door, but unable because he keeps his hand infront of the lock.

‘’ You haven’t answered my question yet. ‘’ Alex smirks at me, but I do not find it funny at all.

‘’ Please, let me out and I’ll show you what I would do if she were to stand in front of me ‘’

And with, I heard the door unlock. I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to the person who I longed for the most.

Click here for part two;

[oopsimbug]

in which... y/n is just trying to put on eyeliner and harry is bored pt. two

a/n: when she’s back from a six month hiatus after making only ONE fic. wow, do i suck. for anyone who cares, school has been pretty rough. i’m actually procrastinating studying for an exam to finally upload this. it’s been pretty hard to balance both school and writing but oh well. anywho, here it finally is. it took so long to write because i wasn’t feeling very inspired by this. a lot of people asked for a part two and even though i kinda wanted to leave it on a sad note, i am a sucker for giving the people what they want, so sorry if this is a bit shit- i definitely don’t like this one myself. i guess i’m not one for fluffy endings. well, at least for this one i wasn’t. i really hope you enjoy it! more stuff to come, if school doesn’t mind fucking off for a little while (or maybe just forever?) xox -(a) bug

pairing: best friend! harry styles x reader

summary: Harry is worried about Y/n. Y/n is worried about Harry. Harry is solving it by thinking of ways to check on her, while Y/n uses cheesy pasta and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as an excuse to not think. But what will happen when someone is at her door, and it’s not her delivery man?

warnings: angst, swearing, y/n and harry being idiotos, fluffy end, kissing

word count: 5.3k

It had been a week.

One gruelling, painfully long week.

Harry was biting his nails, staring up at the ceiling as he laid in his bed, worrying about her.

About how he fucked up.

He didn’t think that she would be upset for this long. He thought she would scream at him and then text him the following day, wanting to hang out- a silent “I forgive you”, he supposed.

But after two days of radio silence on her end, he decided to call her. The only problem was that her last words to him were “leave”. She wanted space. She needed to think things through- what things? Harry had no clue. But he had to respect her and her choice to not want him around. So with that, he put down the phone.

But a small part of him (okay fine, a big part of him), wanted her to just show up at his house so they could cuddle again, talking about the stupidest of things while they made cupcakes in his kitchen. They would be listening to groovy music and now and then, they’d stop mixing bowls and sifting flour to dance- well, they were horrible dancers, so more so just wave their hands, hips and shoulders around. It would be fun and would always end up with them laughing at one another. He would lick the batter and she would berate him, telling him that “one of these days, you are going to get salmonella and I’ll just laugh at your stupid ass” and he would retort with something witty and a bit flirty like “don’t worry darling, we both know you would be right at my side if I got sick. I know you can’t stand being apart from me” with a wink and a cheeky smirk. He just wants to see her in her oversized Space Jam hoodie and little basketball shorts. Or her short flower shirt and his sweatpants that she has to cuff at the bottoms because they’re too long. Or even-

He’s gotta stop thinking about her, or his brain will soon explode. But he just can’t stop. He tries to think of the happier moments, like her showing him a tour of her very healthy houseplants that she prides herself in, but every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is her teary face telling him to leave. So no, if he was given the choice to think of her flailing her arms around in his kitchen to dancehall tunes while making sweet treats or crying at something that he provoked, you bet your ass he’d choose the former.

But after the seventh day, he knew that something wasn’t right. This was too much “thinking time”. For all he knew, she could be fine, but she could also be positively bawling. She could be living for this free time, but she also could be waiting for him to make the first move. She could be wanting Harry out of her life for her benefit forever, but she also could be feeling lonely and counting the seconds for their makeup, just like he was.

That was it. He had to go see her and make sure his best friend was okay.

He practised what he was going to say to her in his car on the way to her apartment. “Y/n, I’m so sorry for how I acted. I didn’t stop to think about how you were feeling and didn’t take your emotions into account which was unbelievably wrong of me. I’m truly sorry. It’s just that I really care about you and you’re my best friend and I can’t see you choose a tinder fuck over me and if I saw him in the street I would knock his lights out and I just want to kiss you, can I kiss you, oh god please let me kiss you I just want to-“

Fuck, what was wrong with him? Why was he so upset? He had been on plenty of dates with other celebrities and models and she was always on the sidelines, cheering him on. So why was he getting so touchy-feely about a single tinder date? Maybe he was just in desperate need of attention. He hadn’t had a girlfriend for almost one year and casual fuck arounds also stopped about four months ago, so maybe he just needed to fuck someone quick. That would explain why he sees his best friend’s kindness and natural flirty nature as something more romantic. Every laugh at his jokes, every look in her eyes, every graze of her hand on his thighs as she leans over him to get her drink on the side table next to him, he becomes more switched on and awake. She leaves him feeling giddy and excited at every conversation. “This can’t just be because I’m horny right?” he cannot believe he would ever be that horny. What the hell was he going to do?

*

This is pathetic she thought.

I’m pathetic.

She let out a huge sigh before shoving another forkful of cheesy pasta into her mouth.

What am I doing?

The answer?

Eating carbs upon carbs upon carbs, lounging on her comfy sofa in the most comfortable, yet daggiest pair of pyjamas ever while watching reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air for the fiftieth time, actively avoiding all commitments, housework and jobs that involve moving further than to the kitchen, which even then was an embarrassingly burdening trek on its own.

But she let it slide. How could she not? She was upset and this was how she coped. That’s what she kept reminding herself as she boiled more and more pasta watching the days pass her by without realisation, but now, she’s beginning to question if this was the best idea. Pushing all thoughts of him out of her mind by not looking at her phone just in case he called or texted. But she was beginning to struggle.

It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what inner turmoil she was facing. He seemed genuinely hurt when she snapped at him. He truly didn’t understand why she took so much offence to the playground ribbing, it seemed. And she had to go be a dick and ignore him. He was probably worried sick. How many times would he have called to check up on her? 10? 15? The more she thought about it, the more she wanted this stupid feud to be over and just be in his arms again, even if it’s just as a friend. So she caved. Turned on her phone, expecting there to be at least a call or a text asking if she was still alive or not. And although she did receive a message of that likeness, it wasn’t from Harry, no. It was from her daily water tracking app, pleading her to fill in her daily intake of water so as to not die of dehydration after she was suspected to have not drunk any for the entire week when in reality, she was just too in her head to open her stupid phone and log her water.

Wow, she thought.

Now not only has Harry chosen to not speak to you, but you also look like a huge idiot right now. Of course, he wouldn’t want to talk to you! You got pissed at him for absolutely no reason and now he hates you. He’s gonna ask for his cardigan and track pants that he keeps at your house in case he wanted to sleepover. He’s going to take back all of his little knick-knacks that he leaves over, like the cute diffuser that he leaves because he knows you need it for your constant hay-fever that blocks your nose and then he’s going to declare that you aren’t friends anymore and then you will never get the chance to tell him how you feel and then-

Her panicky brooding is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Who the hell could that be?”, she thinks. It was too late for it to be the postman with her package containing her entire Amazon wish list that she bought on the third day of mourning to make herself feel better. But it couldn’t be Mrs Xiao asking her if she had any holes in her shirts that needed stitching. The sweet old lady fell asleep at 8:37 pm sharp after her medicine that she’d take at 8:30 pm would kick in (which she learnt after spending nights over at her apartment where her niece, Mei, took care of her. Y/n would learn traditional recipes like baozi and watch movies with her two friends all the time). It couldn’t be Mei either, she was always in online uni lectures from 8:30-10:30 pm, locked away in her little study, so as to not bother or be bothered. So now, a little panicked, Y/n wondered who was truly at her door?

Another two knocks come, echoing off the walls of her little apartment as she turns down the volume of the program she was watching. She stares at the door from her couch, debating whether she should risk getting stabbed by a possible murderer or not, before ultimately deciding that life was too short. She was also getting sick and tired of the knocks that kept arriving in threes. She swings her legs off the couch and onto the floor, pushing them into her slippers so that her feet wouldn’t touch the cold floor, waddling her way to the door before shyly opening it, peeking at who it could be through the tiny crack in the opening, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t mind her current state: belly filled with pasta, hair knotty, giant shirt with sweatpants on and Harry’s patchwork cardigan hanging off her shoulders- which she had been wearing all day, cherishing the pretty piece of clothing and his scent imbedded in it, taking it all in just in case he asks for it back. She peeps at the torso of this mystery person, realising that Harry owns the jumper worn by them, before looking up and locking eyes with a worn out and tired eyed Harry, one hand in the pocket of the familiar hoodie and another extended out near the door, ready to knock again before freezing when it opens up all the way to show herself to her best friend. He doesn’t eye her up and down cheekily like he normally does when she is wearing pyjamas, wolf-whistling at her relaxed state, claiming that “You look runway-ready, my love! Do a twirl for the crowd, will you?”. Instead, he stares her right in the eyes with what looks like almost relief, before smiling a weak and broken smile.

One of them needed to break the silence or both would have just stared at each other in her doorway until the world exploded. So she starts.

“Hi.” her voice hovers a tinge above a whisper, almost as though if she dared to speak louder, this probable illusion of the one she loves would fade away. He lights up a little bit, probably relieved that she started the conversation.

“Hey,” his soft voice matched her volume and tone as if he too didn’t want this to be a dream. “May I come in?” The words sound awkward to her coming out of his mouth. Harry never had to ask for permission to be invited in- he usually just strolled in without so much as a holler to indicate he was present, finding amusement in scaring her instead while she was doing whatever she was doing, whether that be reading, watching a movie, cooking or napping. They were the best of friends and never had to inquire about entry to each other’s domains, along with other small things like if they had anything in their kitchens to eat or if they could sit somewhere, so hearing it was a little disheartening and provoked Y/n to think about how serious this situation was.

“Okay”, she replied after the pause of contemplation, opening the door fully so that the lanky boy could follow along behind her, like a little puppy. She didn’t like how awkward the situation was. She just wanted things to go back to what they were.

But then you wouldn’t be able to tell him you love him... her inner voice argued. And she agreed. She knew that yes, this will be awkward, but it’s an opportunity for him to listen to her and know that she isn’t joking.

“Would you like some tea?” She enquires. They’ll need to handle this like proper grown-ups (which in all honesty, isn’t their dynamic- it’s more like first-year uni students who are mature enough to have deep conversations but still laugh at dad jokes and anything remotely serious, like a painting with boobs), and from what she knows, or has seen in movies when the characters are being serious, is that you need tea or a drink of that sort and a sit down on the couch where you talk stuff out. So that’s exactly what she does.

“Yes please,” Harry’s soft voice replies as he toes off his boots that most definitely cost more than her apartment. Y/n nods and heads to the small kitchenette and flips the switch on the electric kettle before going into her cupboard that housed the mugs. Harry stood awkwardly near the sofas, and to save him the embarrassment of waiting while standing, Y/n invites him to sit with a small, “You can take a seat,” and a quick glance at him before returning her gaze to the mugs to make herself look busy. She didn’t want to look him in the eyes for more than three seconds in fear of bursting into tears and the worn out and tired sight of him. She shakes the thought out of her head and begins to prepare the mugs.

Y/n put two teabags in her mug while putting one in Harry’s. She was raised in a household of avid tea drinkers and she inherited her strong tea quirk from her father who would always keep two teabags with only a dash of milk, and the only difference between her tea and her fathers was that Y/n wasn’t strong enough to take her tea without sugar, unlike her father, who thought that drinking unbelievably concentrated leaf juice with milk was a fun and relaxing time. On the other hand, Harry liked to keep one tea bag in his mug while he drank it, but just like her father, he too took little to no sugar with his cup, being the health freak he was. And early in their friendship, when she mentioned it to him, Harry chuckled and chirped, “Your father is a smart man. He has to be for raising amazing and talented people like your siblings. I’m not sure what went wrong with you though...” while booping her nose as they laid together under a tree for a little picnic. And though she rolled her eyes at him and punched his shoulder for the sly dig at her, she was practically beaming at the fact that he thought her family was smart. Harry had no idea how much that meant to her. Y/n loved her entire family, and she was unbelievably close to them, so it made her entire week to know that Harry, someone she respected and loved so much, recognised how talented and smart each of her family members were. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t need the validation to know that her family was amazing, but she felt so special knowing he took the time to notice. He did that a lot though. Doing things that meant a lot to her without batting an eye. Saying things that only a person as observant as he could notice, like complimenting her eye colour in the light and asking her to read for him because he constantly mentions how much he loves her voice.

Y/n looked over to the same sweet guy she fell head over heels for, who was sitting on her couch, fidgety as ever, and wondered if they would ever be the same after the very next moments to come. She didn’t want things to change between them, but she was dying inside knowing that he wasn’t hers. And getting over him was not in the question, after the fiasco that happened last week. She just wished she could get inside his head to sate her painful curiosity.

What is he thinking about?

**

What is she thinking about?

It’s the million-dollar question running through his mind. What was she pondering over as she made them tea? Did she want to talk to him? Was she mad that it took him so long to find the balls to face her? Was she as nervous as he was? Was she worried that they would never be the same again like he was?

He was going into panic mode, questioning everything, while probably looking stupid as ever. As much as he regretted how awkward things were now, and the fact that he instigated her to lash out at him a week ago, he was realising that he was not regretting the fact that he did it. He didn’t want her to go out with someone else, and she didn’t. And yes, of course, he feels bad-beyond bad, in fact- for making her cry, and wishes he could take it all back, he also sees this as an opportunity to tell her how he feels about her. He could finally tell her that he thinks about her all the time. About her soft smile, her bright eyes, her melodic laugh, her speaking voice that brings butterflies to his stomach. He could tell her about how he loses himself at work, the grocery store, fuck- even at events- thinking about what she was doing at her house. Was she under her blankets on her couch, watching some corny tv show? Was she baking her signature choc chip cookies that taste like the gods blessed every single biscuit on the tray before they were put in the oven? Was she knitting her cat, Chesnut, another rug to plonk herself down on, with her feet up on the ottoman as she listened to the 7 o’clock news on the radio? Was she writing a paper for another deadline? Something so sophisticated, like the exploration of white and male privilege and how it is ingrained in our society? Something that Harry tried to understand and research so that he could stay in the loop with his smart girl’s interests, but he always struggled with.

It was a huge insecurity of his. Not that his best friend was smarter than he was, no way. He treasured the fact that she could and would whip his ass at a debate on things like the state of the world, or human rights. She could school him on global politics, languages, maths, science, history and literally anything else, and he would be cheering her on. What he was insecure about was her realising that he was probably slowing her down in life. Y/n was well within her rights to kick him out of her life for being nothing but a freeloader and stopping her from reaching her full potential, what with him constantly stopping her from her own life to help him go through shit happening in his. Whenever he was sad, or confused, or upset, Y/n was the first person he would talk to and he feared that she would realise that he was probably taking advantage of her and stop talking to him. And that scared him. It scared him because he knew that she didn't need him at all, but he needed her to do anything in life. Every major and minor decision in his life has been approved by Y/n first, and not because she was a controlling friend who didn’t trust him with his own life, but because Harry needed her validation. Harry Styles, a world-famous superstar, had girls, guys and non-binaries at his feet, following his every beck and call. Harry Styles, who was on the cover of every magazine, known by every celebrity, dated only the most perfect of women, required validation from Y/n, a psychology major at a small university. Y/n, who liked to plan her day out on a to-do list, end up not doing anything on that to-do list and cry about it afterwards. Y/n, who breaks it down to “Murder She Wrote” by Chaka Demus & Pliers like it’s her last 4 minutes and 5 seconds alive on this Earth while making pancakes. Y/n, who cries more when she’s laughing while watching Tik Toks than she does during sad movies.

To celebrities, Y/n was nothing but a regular. But to Harry, she was all. She was the warmth of a sweater that you toss in the dryer for a few minutes to make it extra toasty. She was the pad of butter that you spread onto your pumpkin sourdough toast and it ends up being exactly the amount you wanted. She was the feeling when you are driving home from a long day of interviews and premiers, and you’re on the freeway and the windows down and you just… exist. She is the feeling you get when you watch Pride and Prejudice, and the relief of when you find the perfect word to end a lyric. She is when your shoes fit perfectly, and when you finish a book so utterly fulfilling that you lie there in a trance, looking up at your ceiling at 3 am, wondering how you could have been so lucky to be able to be blessed with an ending like the one you just read. Y/n was all those things and more.

And that’s why he had to tell her he loved her. No matter how scared he was.

***

The electric kettle is finished boiling the tea all too quickly as the bubbling comes to an end and the distinct click of the switch turning back off echoes around the silent apartment. Y/n had poured the scalding hot water into the two cups she had prepared stared into them.

It was time. She had tried to avoid this for as long as possible, but now it was the moment to face the music. She picked up the two mugs of tea and brought them to her lounge where Harry was sitting on her worn in green sofa, staring at her coffee table, eyebrows scrunched, pouted lips, deep in thought, before looking up at her with wide green eyes, and followed her to where she stood in front of him. She passed his mug to him before sitting on the comfy chair a few feet away from the sofa and from him, putting some distance in between them for her sake, so that she wouldn’t try to hug him and say sorry without saying what she needed to say first. Which she needed to start talking about now, so as not to sit in the awkward silence created by the two.

Say something!!

“So…’

Jesus fuck…. was that all you could think of? Wow. I am going to lose my best friend.

Y/n was choking.

“I am so sorry,” Harry’s voice intercepts, raspy from the lack of use, looking up from the coffee table he seemed so interested in. “I am so fucking sorry Y/n. I have no excuse as to why I was making fun of you that day. I pushed too far and I am a shit friend for not noticing that you were already on edge. It was so wrong of me and I am so sorry.” He stopped himself before he started to ramble, looking at her with eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t decipher.

Y/n felt… unsatisfied. Why did she feel this way? He apologised, right? So why does she feel unfulfilled? Why does she want him to say more? He hit all of the points he had to for a standard apology, so why did she think he hadn’t done enough? Was it that little optimist in her brain hoping he would maybe reveal a slight attraction to her? Maybe tell her that he loves her, and has loved her forever and ever? Confess that she has bewitched him, body and soul so that she didn’t have to? God, was she an idiot. But a lovestruck idiot at that. She bites her tongue and replies.

“Harry, I forgive you. Although you were annoying as ever,” She rolls her eyes and smirks, while he lets out a breathy, half-assed chuckle, showing his acknowledgement at her attempt to ease the lowered yet still prevalent tension. She continues. “ I understand that you were just trying to have fun. I guess I was the one who irrationally lashed out . I am always okay with you poking fun at me, but I was just frustrated and tired and I took it out on you. I’m sorry for the improper communication and I’m sorry for pushing you away when we should’ve just talked…”

“I forgive you too. I think this was just miscommunication on both parts.” He stared into her eyes, almost as if he could sense the discontent in her, but chose to ignore it.

“I guess so.” She halfheartedly answered, not really knowing where to take the conversation next. They had both apologised, but evidently still had things to say. Well, Y/n had things to say, that’s for sure, but she was pretty sure that Harry wanted to say something too. He had that look on his face where he wanted to say something but was forcing himself not to.

What does he want to say? Why can’t he say it to my face? I mean, sure, I’m also hiding shit I wanna say, but I have an excuse. This could ruin our friendship. What does he have to say?

“Great,” Harry replies, trying to fill the awkward pauses and conversation that is being held. He still looked like he had something to say, but seemed like he was not budging.

Well, if he’s not saying anything, I’m not either. Why do I have to confess my feelings and put our friendship on the line if he isn’t even going to say what’s on his mind?

“So, are we good?”

“I don’t know. Are we? I mean, I forgive you and you forgive me, right?”

“Right… No yeah, we’re alright. We’re completely fine!” Y/n replies quickly. Why the fuck would you say that? You’re not fine.

There is a pregnant pause and Y/n has half a better mind to just get up, walk to the bathroom again with her head down and lock herself in there till he leaves again, because she cannot take this awkward conversation. Not with him. She shifts, ready to stand up to get some water, when Harry looks at her, confusion and slight panic setting into his face.

“Wait. I don’t think I’m fine…” She looks up at the boy sitting in front of her, reading the words from her mind like they were scribed on a piece of paper in the blackest of ink, permanent and bold. Her heart stuttered. What else did he want?

“Is everything okay, H?” she tentatively asks. He loses eye contact with her, gaze lowering towards the table in front of him

“I-” he pauses, trying to collect his thoughts while simultaneously trying to explain to her why he wasn’t okay. “I just- fuck” his head falls down, his face inches away from the hot tea in his hands, the humid steam billowing out of the mug and warming his elegant face as he takes a deep breath and tries once more to convey his thoughts. “I don’t want us to be friends again.”

Her heart stops. This could go one of two ways. He could either be confessing his hatred or his adoration for her, and either one would probably end with her imploding. She tries to take a neutral tone when she replies.

“What does that mean, H?”

He looks at her once more. “It’s not enough, Y/n... “

“What?” She is confused. Her friendship isn’t enough? How is she supposed to reply to that?

“I want more. I don’t want us to just be friends. I want to be more with you. I want to do more with you. I want to do things that friends… they shouldn’t do together…”

Is he trying to confess he likes her? Why, in all the ways you could speak, would he choose to speak like that?! She has had enough of him dawdling around his feelings. “Harry, stop being cryptic and fucking tell me what’s going on?!”

“I love you, Y/n! I fucking love you, Y/n. So much. And it is eating me from the inside out. I hate that we can’t be normal anymore, and I hate that you don’t love me the way I love you, but I cannot sit here and pretend everything is fine, because I love you.”

Y/n is stunned. Frozen in her spot. Can’t move, can’t speak, can’t breathe. Stuck in space, and stuck in time.

Holy fucking shit… he loves me…

While Y/n processes the life changing knowledge that her best friend loves her, her best friend conveniently sits next to her, wishing that he was dead for the letdown he was about to receive.

“Say something… please, for the love of God, say something!”

****

She looks up at Harry. Not Harry Styles, playboy, whore, singer, millionaire, but instead; Harry, her best friend of five years, reddened face out of embarrassment. She sees the mortality in his eyes. Feels his presence so heavily in the moment. She is in awe. True awe of him, and his ability to love her. And with that awe- and that stupid look on her face, she reaches up and cradles his face in her hands, brushing her thumbs softly over his plush pink lips. He stands just as still as her, barely breathing, as if it would shatter the fantasy to stardust and he would wake up in his bed, cold shivers running down his spine, as has happened previously whenever he thought of this moment, staring up at his ceiling at 3:40AM wondering why he thought of his best friend in such a way. She creeped closer to his face before stopping a breath away from him, and whispered.

“Is this okay?”

She looked into his eyes, and he looked into hers, both never feeling so alive before. He wishes to tell her that she needn’t ask for his permission, and that he wants to kiss her forever. Eternally locked in an embrace that holds their souls together. But all he can muster is a weak and broken whisper back.

“Please,”

She can hold it for no longer, and leans in the rest of the way, their lips moulding together, for the very first time, eyes fluttering close, as his hands reach to grab her by the hips to straddle him, deepening the kiss even further. And when they part for breath, panting for air with slightly moist lips, they touch foreheads, eyes still closed. Words needn’t be exchanged- everything that yearned to be said was useless, as it could never describe how they truly felt for each other. So hopelessly besotted with one another, that all they could do was breathe together before kissing once more, hoping that their actions could provide even an iota of an idea of how much they love one another.

Two best friends, turned lovers forevermore.

[foodieforthoughts]

Journey through time - Part 3

Summary: Your relationship with Syverson over the years.

Warning: a little bit of angst and a lot of fluff. If you blink you might also see some smut.

A/N: Continuation to Part 2 of the photo series. Here's a link to Part 1 too. Thank you all for reading. I love you guys 😘♥️

Staying alone in Sy's house gave you an opportunity to find out more about your man. You were cleaning his study when you found a box shoved at the very back of a drawer with pictures inside. The first picture was a black and white photo of young Sy, probably in his early twenties. It looked like a candid picture, clicked by someone who must have attentively watched him while he read through some papers. As you rummaged through the box, you found a couple more candid pictures and a hand written letter addressed to Sy.

The box also contained polaroid pictures of a much older Sy. You picked up the one which looked fairly recent, maybe from only a couple of years ago. He had his signature beard, dressed in his suit with his smoldering eyes staring back at you. Behind were the words, "I count myself as extremely fortunate to have accompanied you on your big night, my love." Signed only as "M". You got the sinking gut feeling that it was from an ex-girlfriend, but what affected you more was that Sy had kept her things still.

Opening the letter and finding another picture inside, you took a moment to look at your man. You had no clue who were those people with him in the picture which only made you realise how little you knew about Sy. The letter mentioned how the person felt like they weren't a part of Sy's life anymore. "I invested too many years to be with you and yet I am here, all alone. I can't take it anymore." It read, continuing to jot down ways in which the person felt lonely while Sy was away and that is why she was deciding to break off their relationship. Your hear sank as you read it over and over again, noting how the edges of the paper was crumbled from being opened too many times. Keeping the box back in its place, you couldn't help but think back on everything that was mentioned as the silence in the big house seemed to envelope you.

You stared at your computer screen showing that you were online, waiting for the green dot to appear on Sy's image signifying that he was online on Skype too. It was your birthday tonight and before leaving, Sy had promised he would have long distance birthday dinner with you over video call. You had cooked his favorite recipe of Sloppy Joe's and got his favorite beer brand, even if you hated the taste of it. Your wait for a few minutes turned to hours with your food gone cold and beer turned warm. You looked at the screen, noting that it was past midnight now and your birthday was over. You couldn't help but cry when you shut down your computer, leaving your food on the table untouched and crawling into bed while thinking back on the letter and imagining if this is exactly how the other girl might have felt.

You sucked in a deep breath before receiving the video call from Sy. It was unexpected and unplanned, but it made your heart swell when his face appeared on the screen. Sy did not smile, he looked lost and deep in thought. Even with the awful quality of the call, you noticed the new scars on his face and how he looked like he had aged over a decade. Your talks were formal, mostly asking about how the other had been, general talk about health and wellbeing. But then you couldn't help but blurt out, "You missed my birthday." Sy sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, "I'm sorry but I had a rough week." You wanted to be understanding but the letter kept repeating its words in your mind and when you looked around, you only saw the emptiness. "But you had promised about dinner on my birthday." In an instant, Sy's voice came out like rumbling thunder. "If you want someone to be at your beck and call, maybe you should think what the hell are you doing with me. I can't be there all the time, I have a job to do here." His roaring voice came out loud from your speakers, bringing tears in your eyes. Anger and sadness mixed together and with a trembling voice, you said, "Maybe I really should think what I'm doing with you. Goodbye, Sy." You disconnected the call with painful heaviness in your heart.

Over the next weeks, you got several calls from Sy but you only spoke to him asking him about his health. The moment he would try to talk about what happened over the video call, you would change the subject. Then one day you got a video message sent to you by Sy. It was being filmed by someone else while Sy stood with a spray painted green German Shepherd. You watched as Sy instructed the dog called "Aika" to fetch a writing pad with papers stuck to it from the steps of the building and turn it around to face the camera. Sy crouched down next to Aika and the first paper read, "I'm very sorry about missing your birthday." He turned the sheet of paper over and the next one had "I'm sorry about acting like a dick the other night." When he turned the paper again, it read in bold letters, "I love you and I don't want to lose you." You felt the stinging feel of tears in your eyes as Sy came forward and spoke directly into the camera, "Dinner with me tonight? I'll make up for everything, I promise." Before the video cut, you heard men laughing in the background with someone shouting, "Captain's so whipped!" and imitating the sound of a whip slashing through the air.

That night, dinner was less about eating and more about sharing your feelings. Sy listened to how you felt about him missing your birthday, apologising profusely about it and telling you he'll make up for it when he gets back. But you felt like a bitch when he told you about his week and how he had lost two of his men during an attack on them. It was now your turn to apologize with tears in your eyes as you imagined losing Sy. You didn't want to ruin the mood but you had to ask about the box. "Who's M, Sy?" You watched as his expression had turned solemn and he had sighed heavily. "I take that you found the box? She was my girlfriend before you. We had been together since college and I won't lie, I really wanted to marry her. But, I couldn't give her the kind of life she wanted." You could hear the sadness in his voice while he spoke. "Do you still love her?" he answered in an instant, "Of course not! I love you, babe. I want no one but you. You can even throw away the box if you want, I just never got back to it and throw it away myself." He then proceeded to tell you he wanted to make you feel his love and explained what he had planned, which made you blush but reluctantly you obliged. Even with the distance of many, many miles between the two of you, you pleasured one another over the call while repeatedly professing how much you loved each other.

You had bounced on your feet nervously while watching the arriving flights displayed on the screen. Sy was coming home and your excitement knew no bounds. His tour had been extended by four more weeks which meant you hadn't seen him in person for almost half a year. But family came first so when he had asked if he could go directly to Austin to meet his folks, you hadn't objected. "What's one more week until I meet you?" You had joked although deep down you craved to be in his arms again. When newly arrived passengers started filing out through the doors, your heart drummed in your chest with anticipation. You nearly skipped a beat when Sy walked out the door with his bags, thinking about the time when many months ago you had bumped into him at this very airport, searching through the crowd for you. His bearded face broke out into a huge smile when he spotted you and you almost made a run for him, launching yourself into his arms while planting kisses all over his face. "God, I missed you so much." He said, hugging you tightly to his chest and not letting go of you for a long time.

The very next day, Sy had taken you out for dinner at the most fancy restaurant in town. You noticed how he was fidgety and nervous, looking at his watch several times. It worried you even more when for the third time that night, he excused himself and left the table. You wondered if he was sick but then were left confused when all of a sudden the speakers started playing the familiar tune of your favorite romantic song. You looked around puzzled but was taken by surprise when Sy walked to you and dropped down on one knee. With a tender smile on his lips he said, "I never knew what I really wanted from my life until I met you. Countless times I have prayed to the heavens for making you bump into me on that day. I was at the right place at the right time, for I met the most amazing and beautiful woman on this planet." You felt you heart pick up a pace knowing exactly what Sy was going to do. Fishing out a blue velvet box from his pocket and opening it to reveal a magnificent diamond ring, Sy continued, "Darlin' will you marry me and make me the luckiest man alive?" There was no hesitation in your voice when you nodded fervently and repeated "yes" several times, hugging and kissing Sy before he placed the ring on your finger while everyone around clapped for the two of you.

Continued to Part 4

[otp-holic]

Will this be the night? (ALSO IN A03)

A random piece of online advertising unleashes some movie memories of a Summer afternoon in 1932

1.5 Ks Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3) Silly drabble born from my love of classic movies... that ended up not having anything to do with classic movies.

BROOKLYN'S KING'S THEATRE

Poster for Cary Grant's Retrospective. Printed paper 2025.

A poster for the upcoming month long celebration of the movies of Cary Grant to be held in Brooklyn.

Bucky is not expecting a vivid memory of the past to jump at him from a piece of online location-targeted promotion popping on his phone as he and Steve are wandering around the neighborhood on a random Friday.

But the 21st century works in mysterious ways and Google is kindly inviting him to check “Cary Grant: A Celebration”, a month-long chronological retrospective of all his movies taking place at a nearby hipster cinema starting… in half an hour.

He beams as a long string of memories of the both of them in different afternoons and movies plays in his head; how they counted the cents for the admission price, and how Bucky learned to sneak into the movie every time that did not add up to two full tickets.

“Buck, you’ve been smiling at your phone in silence for a whole minute,” Steve interrupts his daydreaming. “Should I be jealous? Worried?”

“Sorry,” he answers, still smiling about the memories. “I think I’m leaving you for Google, they see inside my one hundred years old soul; But I might give you another chance if you don’t mind a change of plans for the afternoon.”

“Lead the way, but can you give me some heads up?” Steve chuckles, more than used to Bucky’s ways.

He takes Steve’s hand to direct them towards the movie theatre and thinks about how much information he wants to share.

Although he is the one who still relies on the comfort of 30s and 40s movies whereas Steve keeps getting bolder with his options, Steve has always loved Cary Grant and Bucky thinks he’s going to appreciate his choice since this particular movie has a history (sad history, maybe) for them, so he debates on whether to tell him or not.

“We are going to the movies. But the real ones, not that shit on Netflix you keep choosing,” he settles for half-disclosure.

“Damn, mister life in black and white strikes again. Embrace the 21st century, Barnes, I think you’ll like it!”, Steve laughs.

“Hey, I embrace it more than you do! At least I look the part of a mid-thirties man from it instead of a fifty-year-old hiding in fucking khakis. Albeit a very hot one, I’ll give you that.”

They both laugh. It’s not the first time these remarks fly between them and having a routine, running jokes, and running pet peeves is very soothing after everything they have gone through.

They’re getting closer to the cinema now, and Bucky can already see the Billboard announcing the retrospective and a small queue forming upfront. He takes a side look at Steve to see if he has noticed and he can certainly tell that his curiosity has peaked.

“Surprise! Call it a win-win, it might be up my alley, but you used to love Cary Grant movies,” Bucky smiles as they reach their place in the queue and glance at the program for the afternoon.

‘This is the Night (1932)’, the poster says, ‘Cary Grant's feature film debut on the big screen’

Bucky is deep in nostalgia, remembering a summer day of 32 when they were waiting in line for the same film and how the evening turned out, but when he looks in search of his partner’s reaction, it’s not what he expected at all.

“Steve, you ok?” he asks, worried at seeing Steve frozen in place.

Steve nods. His whole face is deep red, but at least he is responsive. He looks ashamed and Bucky is shifting from worried to curious.

“Jesus, this movie,…” he chuckles now.

“You seem to remember, then. I thought you might.”

It was not a happy memory: Steve had felt really ill halfway through, looking white as a sheet of paper and about to die on Bucky. They had to leave the unfinished movie and run home, as per Steve’s request. But as far as Bucky remembers, nothing to be ashamed of.

“Why are you acting weird? Oh my god, Steven, are you allergic to this movie?”

The silence before Steve answers is a little too long and the queue moves forward.

“Shit, this is not easy to say and I’m sorry in advance.”

“Duly noted, but could you try to explain? I’m lost and I didn’t expect a full-on confession of something to be sorry about when I decided to follow Google’s intelligent advice to an unfinished movie. I just thought it was a good excuse for a change of plans. And kind of closure.”

Steve takes a breath and starts talking.

“I wasn’t honest with you, Buck. Back then…” he stops, searching for words, nervously musing on his beard. “Ah, I cannot believe this hasn’t come up at some point, but there it goes. I absolutely lied to you that day: I wasn’t sick or half dying and I am very very guilty of using my poor health to run away from that place and that movie, but I did the only thingI could think of.”

Bucky is at a loss for words, he’s still deciding if he is angry, curious, or somewhere in between.

“But… but you were feverish and white as a ghost and you said you had palpitations!”

Steve seems to think for a moment again and the bastard laughs so loud they get a curious look from the people behind. And taking advantage of the queue moving up again, he gets really really close to Bucky who honestly thinks he’s going to try to kiss himself out of the situation since it’s a bulletproof strategy.

But he doesn’t: He goes for Bucky’s ear instead, and whispers.

“I had a boner like you wouldn’t believe.”

Bucky gasps loudly totally taken aback while Steve takes a step back and looks at him in the eye more amused and hungry than ashamed, but still blushing.

“But hey, not all lies! I was somehow sick. And pale since my blood was… otherwise occupied. And I was barely 14!”

Bucky laughs at the dork. His dork. But the information is still making its way into his brain.

“Oh my God,” he exclaims as it starts to settle, “You piece of shit, you pulled the poor sick child card when you were just plain horny. I was worried to my bones as we run to your home. Shame on you Rogers!”

“Me? It was your fucking fault! Yours and Cary Grant’s and your stupid grins and stupid chins, those clefts!” he’s screaming in whispers so Steve Rogers’ teenage boner doesn’t make it to the news, but he’s talking as if he was pronouncing an important speech to the UN, “What was a 14-year-old in the fucking 30s popping one upon seeing an actor who kind of looked like a very tall version of his very male best friend to do?”

He is about to say something, but Steve literally covers his mouth with one hand giving Bucky no other option but to stick his tongue and lick the palm.

“Gross, Buck. I’m not done!”, he dries his hand on Buckys’ shirt before he goes on. “I’m not done because as I was still processing all that, you kept brushing your goddamned hand with mine when you went for popcorn! Over and over and over. It was torture. I have palpitations now just thinking about it.”

Bucky full-on laughs. One of those real ones that come more and more lately and that he honestly thought he would never get to experience again.

They have reached the box office, so he doesn’t push it further. For now.

“Two tickets for `This is the Night´, please.” Bucky smiles at the box-office guy. “He is paying, tho. I paid last time we tried to see this one and he didn’t have the decency to stay until the end.”

He actually feels like a teen as Steve takes his hand into the theatre, as he very intentionally buys popcorn to share, and as they start full-on making out on their seats during the commercials once the lights are out.

“Wanna know another secret, Buck?” Steve whispers a few minutes later, eyes on the starting movie as he brushes Bucky’s hand with intention over the popcorn bucket. His flustered face and recently kissed lips bathed by dancing lights and shadows coming from the screen. “It’s a good thing we were already together in ‘38 when “Bringing up baby” came out because I was able to plan ahead and lure you into that memorable window fuck at our old apartment before the show, or we would have totally missed one of our favorite movies, too.”

Bucky hates Steve with the force of the universe. Or maybe not, but he’s not playing clean.

“Raincheck on the movie?” he manages to whisper back as he drives Steve’s hand to his already noticeable hard-on. Two can play this game.

“Oh, poor Buck. Do you have palpitations” Steve chuckles, lips wet on Bucky’s ear and gripping harder on his bulge instead of letting go. “Was that the memory of the window fuck? Or all the making out? Tell me so I don’t do it again.”

“You are a punk, Steve Rogers,” Bucky answers before standing up to leave, closely followed by a smiling Steve.

Argh, sorry for deleting and uploading again, but i had technical issues with this.... so here it goes again. I need to free myself from this one!

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby. 

Day 1: The Case Of The Mysterious Shrinking Sweater.

Warnings: Bad Language words

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N:  So this all came about as myself, @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ and @jennmurawski13​ saw a post about Ransom doing everyday things…and yeah, it kinda spiralled. The series will consists of one-shots and drabbles, all light hearted…and the occasional little bit of smut thrown in for your pleasure and we hope a nice countdown to Christmas after what has been an utter shit-show of a year.

We will be taking it in turns to alternate posting so keep your eyes peeled for the next instalments as they arrive. I’ll be re-blogging and tagging my list. 

Series Masterlist. 

 People say that being pregnant was an enjoyable experience, that you glowed and bloomed. But right now the only thing blooming was the feeling of nausea in the pit of your stomach. You lay still, hoping that it would go away, but as usual it didn’t. Swinging your legs off the side of your huge bed, you hurried barefoot over the plush carpet of the bedroom you shared with your husband before dropping with a thud to the floor of the en-suite, emptying the contents of your stomach into the porcelain bowl of the toilet. You repeated the motion again and again until you were retching dry air, your eyes watering, throat stinging and you let out a little sob.

At almost 22 weeks pregnant, this was ridiculous. The whole morning sickness was supposed to have eased off by now, but not for you. Oh no. Mind you, what else were you to expect given that you were expecting his baby.

The spawn of Satan…

“Y/N?” your husband’s deep baritone hit your ears and you turned to look up at him as he stood in the doorway, clad only in his boxers. Strong thighs gave way to a tapered waist, a flat yet slightly soft stomach ran into the hard planes of chest muscle and sculpted arms from years of playing polo (God forbid the asshole do any other form of manual exercise, well apart from the obvious one that got you into this mess in the first place that is). Broad shoulders stretched either side of a strong neck which supported that damningly handsome face with the jawline that could cut glass and those deep blue eyes that had ruined your panties the first time you’d seen them.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale was a beautiful bastard. And he knew it.

“You ok?” he asked. You narrowed your eyes before a fresh wave of nausea hit you and you retched once more.

“Do I look ok?” you shot back, sinking back onto your heels, wiping at your face. You felt Ransom move from the doorway and then heard the tap running.

“Here.” One hand settled between your shoulder-blades, the other handed you a glass of water as Ransom knelt besides you, his blue eyes bearing the warmth that he reserved only for you. You took the drink without a thanks, the usual sarcasm he would display at such an action remained unsaid as you drained the glass and passed it back. “Can I do anything else?”

“Fast forward to January next year so the baby’s here?” you grumbled “I can’t take another damned 4 months or whatever of this, Ransom!”

“Sorry Princess.” He chuckled, “I can’t help you there.” “I hate you.”

“So you keep saying.” He shrugged “But the fact you’re pregnant with my son…kinda proves that you don’t.”

“We were drunk. Besides, hate fucking is a thing.”

“Is hate marrying?”

“Yup.” You nodded. “I only married you so I could divorce you for your money.”

“Well that was almost 2 years ago so why you still here?” he drawled back and you looked at him, snorting as a smirk spread across his face before he tossed his head slightly to throw back the strands of his hair that had fallen forward over his forehead “Thought so.”

“Asshole.”

With a roll of his eyes Ransom helped you to your feet, glancing down at your chest, your swollen breasts visible down the front of your camisole top. His eyebrow arched a little as he raised his head to meet your eyes and you snorted.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Oh come on baby!” he whined, his hands falling to your hips, pushing up the silk of the top you were wearing, his thumbs skating over the curve of your bump “You know what seeing you like this does to me.”

“Seeing me like what? Red faced with puke in my hair?”

“Yeah the puke not so much.” He wrinkled his face, “But I can think of an arrangement here that could potentially eliminate that particular issue.”

“You’re not fucking me in the shower.” You shook your head.

“But…”

“No buts Ransom.” You looked at him as he glared back, his face now wearing the usual petulant expression he bore when he didn’t get his own way “Stop being a brat. I’m up now and I got stuff to do.”

“Yeah? Like what?” he folded his arms. You gave a groan of exasperation.

“I have a conference call with my boss at midday…”

“It’s a Saturday.”

“I know that, but we have a big case…”

“You don’t need to work, tell him to fuck off.”

As usual you ignored Ransom’s dig about your job. He could never understand why you insisted on keeping your role as a Legal Secretary, but then again what was to be expected from the trust fund Man-Baby who had never worked a day in his life. “And there’s a pile of laundry to do.”

“I don’t know why you won’t let me hire a maid….”

“I don’t WANT A FUCKING MAID!” you exploded. Ransom’s eyebrows shooting upwards slightly was the only reaction to your shouting that he gave. “This is our home...”

“Well with the baby on the way, maybe you might want to reconsider that stance.”

“Or maybe you could start pulling your weight.” You jabbed him in his chest. He glanced down at your finger, his eyebrow arched as he looked back at you.

“Pulling my weight?”

“Yes.”

“Exactly how?”

“I dunno…how about you start performing those little real life tasks that normal people do Ransom? You know, the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, loading the dishwasher, making the bed, cooking breakfast or dinner…”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He scoffed and you groaned “You know I can’t cook.”

“How do you think I learned?” you shook your head, before rubbing at your temple. “I practiced.”

“Yeah, not gonna happen Princess.”

“What a surprise” you shrugged “God forbid Hugh Ransom Drysdale get his hands dirty.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” He snapped and you snorted. Of all the names you called him, it was his actual name that riled him so much. It was ridiculous, but also too good an opportunity to pass up. He was an asshole at times, and you took none of his shit. You never had done, not since that fateful day you met in that lecture hall at Harvard some 10 years or so ago. Truth be told, he’d often admitted it was the fact you gave him nothing but shit, called him out and basically ignored him for 6 months, despite the fact that you desperately wanted him to do very rude things to you. Your ambivalence provided him with a challenge and he pursued you with a dogged determination which you eventually gave in to towards the end of your first year of Study.

“Why not?” you shrugged, deciding to poke the bear a little more because, well, you could…that and you kind of enjoyed watching that vein pop in his neck when he was pissed “Isn’t that what the help call you? I mean I might as well be your help all things considered.”

“You’re my fucking wife.” Ransom spoke through grit teeth, his jaw set, neck strained (ah, there was that vein!)

“Well here’s a novel idea.” You smiled up at him “Why don’t you start acting like I am instead of some glorified housekeeper that you fuck and keep in your bed.”

“Ok, I’m gonna let that slide due to hormones.” Ransom’s hands fell to his hips.

“You’re gonna let it slide?” you scoffed

“Yes.”

“Whatever.” You took a deep breath “Now get out I need a shower.”

“So….just so we’re on the same page, you don’t want me to-“

“NO RANSOM!” you growled, shoving his chest. He sniggered, stepped back with his hands up, palms open as he backed out of the door, closing it behind him.

*****

Ransom could hear Y/N’s voice as it drifted softly through the closed door of the study into the hallway and he rolled his eyes. Her boss was a jerk, making her call in at midday on a fucking weekend, all because he was too incompetent to cope himself. She should be curled up on the sofa, watching junk, eating crap, wearing nothing but one of his sweaters. She’d been looking for her favourite one before, cursing when she’d realised it was in the laundry hamper and mumbling about how she’d pop it into the machine later.

“How about you start performing those little real life tasks that normal people do Ransom? You know, do the laundry…”

Ransom paused by the stairs, before he smirked a little. “Oh you’re gonna eat your words, Princess.” He mumbled, before he bolted upstairs and into their bedroom, through to the en-suite. Tipping the hamper up on its side he looked down at the pile of clothes and frowned. Y/N normally sorted them into separate piles, but he wasn’t sure how…or why now he thought about it.

Fuck it, there was nothing google couldn’t solve.

He soon found out, thank you Housewives Online, that they needed to be sorted according to colours. Whites, brights and darks. So, as his sweater was blue it could go in the colours pile. He nudged the other two piles to the side of the room with his foot before he gathered the one he wanted in his arms, wrinkling his nose at the fact he actually had dirty clothes in his hands and made his way downstairs. He wandered through the kitchen and into the utility room at the back, before he stuffed the items into the machine and then looked around for the detergent. He found it on a shelf over the back of the room along with the fabric softener. Grabbing them both he then paused as he realised he didn’t actually know where it went.

Okay, so this had to be a process of elimination. He pulled open the little drawer on the front and smirked as he noticed the sections were labelled.

“Piece of cake.” He poured in what he deemed enough of each and then shut it, before he looked at the digital dials on the front.

“For fucks sake…” he grumbled, punching a few buttons. Eventually the display kicked in, offering him a one hour-thirty hot wash.

“Well, who washes clothes in cold water?” he shrugged, pressing the green button. As he stood back the machine kicked into life and Ransom nodded, congratulating himself, before he decided he’d earned himself a beer.

****

“Son of a…” you heard the curse as you opened the door to the study and frowned. Whilst your call had lasted a little longer than it should have, surely Ransom couldn’t have gotten himself into that much trouble in the space of two hours. You followed his string of expletives down the hall, through the kitchen and into the laundry room to find Ransom holding what looked like a smaller version of his sweater in his hands.

“What are you doing?” you frowned.

“Singing a duet with Beyonce, what does it look like I’m doing?” he snapped.

“It looks like you’re doing laundry.” You ignored his shitty comment and arched an eyebrow, one hand falling to your small bump.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Where did you get that little…” you trailed off as you realised that it wasn’t a smaller version of his gorgeous navy blue, soft woolly number in his hands, it WAS his gorgeous navy blue, soft woolly number “You shrunk your sweater?” He glared at you as you started to laugh “Oh my god, you dumbass!”

“It wasn’t me it was that fucking shitty machine.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the machine.”

“Well why did it shrink then?”

“What programme did you put it on?”

“Programme?” he frowned “I just turned it on.”

With a sigh you rubbed at your temple “There are different settings depending on what you’re washing.” You stated “That’s wool. It should have been on a cool cycle.”

Ransom looked at the item in his hand and you watched as his shoulders sagged a little. “I wanted it to be nice and clean for you to wear later.” He sighed as he peeked up at you, a strand of hair falling over to his brow. Your heart instantly melted, little gestures like this from him meant the world as it was his way of showing he cared. He could buy you all the expensive shit in the world but these were the little things you craved.

“Oh baby!” you chuckled as you stepped forward, leaning up to kiss his cheeks. “It was a nice thought…” you took the sweater off him and looked at it “But even I don’t think I’ll fit into that. It’s tiny.”

Ransom looked at it before his face suddenly curled into a smile “Baby boy tiny?”

You let out a laugh “Maybe not baby boy tiny, but little child boy tiny, sure.”

“We’ll save it for him then.” He said, tossing it down into the basket of wet items that needed to be dried. “His first hand-me-down.”

You smiled as his hands dropped to your hips and pulled you closer. “You’re a big softy really, aint you?” you reached up to brush that stubborn strand of hair back of his forehead and he shrugged before he grinned, rocking his pelvis forward.

“I won’t be soft for long.” His head dropped and he nipped at your ear “Let me show you what Husband chore  I’m actually good at.”

[chuckbass-love]

Any interest in writing a fic where Chris cheats on his girlfriend/ wife and how they work through it. Also his family being involved in the fic.

I rarely see fics with Chris cheating, so of course i’ll write this. I just knowwwww Lisa would give that man child hell for it. I include lyrics from the song Battle Scars by Lupe Fiasco and Guy Sebastian, they are in italics.

I really hope you love this...

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cheating, angst and sad themes pretty much. 

Word Count: 5,836

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @voyevoda-thejoy go check them out 💙

Get Through This

You strut into the kitchen of the house you share with your husband Chris, ready to make dinner for the two of you. It’s valentines day and you’ve not seen him for months. He’s been filming and as much as you were aware of what his job entailed, you still get upset whenever he has to leave. But after this project, he’s all yours and Dodgers for a while. You can’t wait.

He texted you to let you know that he’d be home in just under an hour, enough time to start on dinner. 

The table is set, you’re already in a sexy outfit, hidden underneath your silk dressing gown. He’s going to have the best welcome home gift ever and you just know he’s going to be all over you like a rash.

The pasta is cooking so you start on the sauce next, trying your hardest not to fuck this up. He sent god knows how many texts about how much he’s missed your cooking and you want it to perfect for him. He deserves nothing but the best.

As you’re stirring the sauce, your phone goes off, it’s Instagram and then next thing you know. You get a ton of Twitter notifications too. Way too many for your liking. 

You unlock the phone and check Twitter first, seeing as you have the most notifications for that. 

But once you open the messages that are all from the same account. You almost drop your phone at the images on your screen. 

Of Chris.

Kissing another woman. His hands around her waist. You feel sick, numb, broken and stupid. 

He’s your husband. 

Why is he doing this?

I wish i never looked 

I wish i never touched

I wish that i could stop loving you so much

You drop the phone on the kitchen counter and rush over to the sink to be sick. It’s not stopping, you can’t stop it. The thought of him with another woman that’s not you, the thought of him kissing or touching another makes you’re whole body turn cold. The puking continues as more questions and thoughts riddle your brain. 

‘who is she?’

‘why would he do this to you?’

‘how long has it been going on?’

‘how did it start?’

‘is there more to it other than kissing?’

You stand upright, taking a paper towel and using it to wipe your mouth as you try to keep the puke at bay. 

He’s going to be home soon. What the fuck do you even say to him?

You pick the phone back up to see if there was even a message attached to the pictures but there wasn’t. So you go to Instagram to check that, it’s a different account, with the same pictures.

Multiple people have these images. Multiple people know about his actions. What if they end up online? What about your family? His family? What if they see them too?

You try to calm your breathing, your heart is pounding. You can’t stop it, you grip onto the counter, one hand over your chest, as if that will somehow stop the feeling of your heart practically beating it’s way out of your chest. Like somehow it’ll make this all go away.

This robe is way too tight. You struggle to undo it, fiddling with it, your hands are shaky, your breathing turns more erratic. You turn the stove off, rushing upstairs seconds after and into the bedroom you share with your husband.

The same husband that you once trusted with your heart and life. The same husband that you never ever imagined doing this to you but then again, who ever thinks that their partner will ever do this to them? Exactly, it’s always unexpected. 

This has to be a dream, right?

This isn’t like him, this isn’t Chris. Or at least not the Chris you know and love. The Chris you married.

There has to be some kind of explanation right?

No. Stop this Y/N

Cause i’m the only one that’s trying to keep us together

When all of the signs say that i should forget him

There is no explanation for this. No explanation he could possibly give you for kissing another woman and possibly sleeping with her. He looks way too cosy for this to be just a kiss.

There’s more to this. 

You run into the walk in closet, ripping your clothes from their hangers in a panic. Tears fill your eyes and fall down your face. You can’t stop this, the feeling of hurt and betrayal, the pain that fills your body to the brim, drowning you. You feel on the edge of a tall building right now. Like the smallest of movements could happen and you would just fall to the ground. 

You change quickly before you pack everything that you can, everything that belongs to you, your clothes, underwear, toothbrush, skin care shit, make-up. The lot. You pack two suitcases and a duffle bag and that’s only the stuff you need right now. You can always get the rest if you need to. You can’t stay here any longer than you need to though.

But first, you need to face him.

“Honey?” you hear, the familiar Bostonian accent echos through the house as the door slams shut and all of a sudden, there he is in the doorway. 

“Something smells delicious, are you cooking?” he smiles, a fake smile no doubt. Bet he’d rather be with her.

I wish you weren’t the best

The best i ever had

I wish that the good outweighed the bad

You stand there, ignoring his question for a couple seconds as your gaze drops to the screen of your phone. You click on the images and slide the phone over to him. He walks closer “what’s this honey?” and he goes to talk again but soon stops when he realises what they are. 

“Baby, i-i can explain”

“Don’t even bother” 

He walks around the kitchen island to you and you move the bags out the way so that they are in his eye line. He glances over them “what’s all this? Are you leaving me? Please, don’t i can explain all of this?”

As hard as you try not to, you start to cry again. Through the blurred vision, you see him wipe at his face, is he seriously crying too? He’s the one that cheated.

“Don’t start acting like you’re the one upset here Chris. You did this to me, remember?”

“I didn’t mean for anything to happen, i got caught up. It’s no excuse but i really am sorry”

“How long?” you mutter through gritted teeth, not even caring how nasty you sound right now “it was only the once” lies. All lies.

“Don’t fucking lie to me”

He takes a step back, holding his hands up in surrender and as soon as he does, Dodger comes running into the room, jumping up Chris and trying to get attention. He bends down, fussing the excited pup that has clearly missed his daddy. 

“Dodge, boo boo” he coos, letting him lick his face. A sight that not even an hour ago would have made your heart melt, a sight that would have been filmed by you for sure and posted on your Instagram for his fans to see.

Once he calms the dog down, he stands up to look at you.

“Can we please just talk this over? Please. I want to sort this”

“What is there to sort Chris? You were with someone else. How many times did you see her? What did you do with her? Is she better than me huh? Can she give you things that i can’t? ANSWER ME DAMMIT”

He jumps at the change in your voice, the shouting. It’s not like you. You’re the most calm person he knows, the one person who he’d say if you were any more laid back then you’d probably fall over. But not this time. You really are mad, which rightly so. He’s hurt you like no one else ever has. 

The man who vowed to love you until death has cheated on you.

I wish i couldn’t feel 

I wish i couldn’t love

I wish that i could stop cause it hurts so much

You pick your bags up and shove past him as he tries to answer but fails. 

That’s when he grabs a hold of your wrist to stop you in your tracks.

“I saw her once only, it was on a weekend when i had a break from filming. It wasn’t anymore than that. I promise, i give you my word. It was just that once” he sighs, loosening his grip and letting your wrist go as you stand back to back.

“We just kissed at first, it was a one off kiss. She made the move on me, we were drinking, near my trailer, she was working on the set of the movie. She was assisting the wardrobe department. I kissed her back the second time she made a pass and it got a bit heated but i stopped it”

You feel sick again. Like you could vomit right now just from his explanation.

“Then the third time, i let myself get carried away. We went back to her hotel room and kissed some more, she got on top of me and we got undressed” he stops the story, hearing you sob the way you are right now makes his heart ache.

“We had sex. She started kissing my neck, she was touching me down there and I’m sorry, i’m so sorry honey. I didn’t, i didn’t mean for it to happen. i didn’t mean to lie for so long. She’s not better than you, no woman could ever be better than you” he turns around and so do you, the hurt in his eyes is clear.

“She can’t offer me anything Y/N. I want you, i love you. You’re everything to me. This has eaten away at me for months. I’m so sorry, please don’t leave me”

“Chris” you turn your head, unable to look at him right now. 

“Please, Y/N please” he takes your hands in his, squeezing them as if that is going to make you stay.

You just shake your head, ripping them from his grip.

“I can’t, Chris. I need to go” 

This is hard enough as it is and he’s making it ten times more difficult to leave. This man in front of you, isn’t even recognisable anymore. He’s not the man you married, the man you’ve been with for 10 years. The man you were so close to starting a family with.

That man is gone.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, i didn’t mean for it to happen”

He gets down on his knees, begging for your forgiveness, for you to not walk out of that door.

“I believe that you didn’t mean for it to happen and i believe that you love me but you still let it happen Chris and i just, i can’t be here right now” you pick the bags up and walk away from him but as you get to the door, you hear him crying, not just the regular kind. No. He’s screaming crying, like his heart has just been ripped from his chest, like he knows the mistake he made. 

But does that matter? Does any of that matter now? He still did it.

You open the door and slam it shut, leaving him sat there on the floor.

He knows that this is all his own doing. 

He didn’t mean for it to happen, he was intoxicated and it was all a mistake. He feels empty, without you here. Without your love, your kiss, your touch. He feels completely broken.

You on the other hand are breaking down, in the car, on the way to your sisters house, trying your hardest to keep your eyes on the road. It’s probably not the best idea to drive in your state but you had to get out. You couldn’t have waited around for an Uber. No chance. 

If you stayed any longer, your weak ass would have crumbled in front of him and taken him back. 

And you can’t let that happen right now. You have to respect yourself and your space. Regardless of how much he regrets it, he was still with another woman and that’s not right.

You pull up outside of your sisters house, unannounced. 

You knock the door with your shaky hand, trying to keep the tears back but they fall before she even answers and when she does. You sob, falling into her arms.

She squeezes you tight before breaking away to see your bags, it’s like she knows what’s happened without even needing to ask you.

She guides you inside, sitting you down before taking your bags and leaving them by the staircase. 

You don’t know how you are going to explain everything to her, this is not going to be easy.

--------------------

She rubs your arm as you finish talking, her husband strolls in with a cup of tea for you and you sit there hoping it’ll make everything suddenly become fake. Like it was a dream and you’d snap out of this daze. But you don’t. 

The first sip shocks you as the hot beverage burns your tongue. You’re definitely going to need something stronger.

An hour passes, you cry some more and eventually the tea turns to wine. 

One drink down and you’re rendering on angry now. You can’t control the constant switch in your behaviour because after the second glass, you’re back to the crying again. 

You get to your fifth glass and you’re slurring your words.

That’s when your phone rings, you hear the muffled ring tone so you search in your duffle bag to find it, pulling it out to find that it’s Lisa. Chris’s mother. 

“Answer it” your sister instructs, nodding her head towards the phone.

“Hi Lisa” you muster up the best fake happy voice you can “hi sweetie, is Chris back yet? Because we were all wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner, i’m making a cake for deserts and it’ll be nice to see him”

“Um, he’s back. He got back a couple of hours ago now”

“Are you both free to come by?”

“I’m kinda busy at the moment, you’ll have to ring Chris to see if he’s free” 

Your voice cracks at the end of the sentence, you pray to god that she doesn’t notice but of course, she does.

“What’s wrong sweetie? Where are you, i thought you’d be with him?”

“I’m at my sisters, um. I-” you can’t even finish, Alex takes your phone, raising it to her ear to speak to her for you.

“Hi Lisa, it’s Alex”

“What’s going on?” you can hear her voice despite it not being on speakerphone “it’s Chris, Y/N, received images of him with another woman, he admitted to her that he slept with someone else whilst he was away”

The line goes dead, she hung up. 

Alex, pulls you into her arms once again, cradling you as you let it all out. 

She doesn’t know how to fix you, she wishes she could magically take your pain away. But she can’t. This can’t be fixed by anyone else other than you and Chris. But even then, it would take a lot for you to ever forgive him.

Meanwhile back at your house, Chris is still on the floor. Dodger sits next to him, wagging his tail.

Then a door knocks.

He forces himself up and back onto his feet, dragging them over to go answer it and when he sees his mother, he knows. The look on her face says it all. She pushes past him, making her way into the living room. 

“Ma, i can explain”

“How could you do that to her, Chris. I raised you better than that. To even look at another woman like that is wrong let alone kissing and having sex”

“I know. Ma. It didn’t mean anything. She was nothing to me. I was drunk, i got carried away, i was missing Y/N so much”

“No excuses Chris, you’ve messed up. I can’t believe you. I’m so disappointed and confused. You’re a grown man, a married man”

“I know” 

“You need to fix this, prove to her that you love her and that it won’t happen again. Because right now, she’s at her sisters house, barely able to get her words out”

He looks down, not able to even give direct eye contact to the woman who raised him, the woman who taught him right from wrong. She didn’t raise no cheater or no quitter.

She raised a boy to a man who knew how to respect everyone around him, how to treat a lady, how to carry himself. A man who wears his heart on his sleeve and loves with everything in his body. A man who is sensitive yet strong.

“She won’t forgive me ma, i’ve fucked it. I can’t lose her”

“Right now, you need to give her space, let her breathe, but once she’s had that, she’ll have calmed down and maybe she’ll hear you out. But you need to work for this son, this won’t come easily. Remember what i’ve always told you?”

“Nothing good or worth fighting for, comes easy”

She leans in, opening her arms for her broken son, soothing him with ‘sh, it’s going to be okay’s’ and ‘i got you’s’

--------------------

“Could you ever see yourself forgiving him?”

You go to respond but you’re mind keeps on replaying all the things he said before you left, that he didn’t mean it and she meant nothing.

“I don’t know. I love him so much Al. He’s my husband. Of course i want to fight for this but i don’t know if i’m strong enough”

“If there’s one thing i’ve realised over the years, when it comes to you and Chris. There’s nothing the two of you can’t do. No obstacle that you can’t face together. He made a mistake which granted was wrong and horrible and there’s no doubt in my mind that he genuinely got caught up with drinking. But he loves you, i know he does. You just need to ask yourself if you could even try to move on”

Her words have you all in your head, wondering if you can. Could you?

He slept with her, he kissed her, saw her naked. Is that forgivable? He cheated, touched another woman, kissed another woman, undressed another woman.

You’re going to need a couple of days to think, clear your head.

Lisa makes her way over to your sisters place, not caring how fast she’s driving. You need her now more than ever. She might only be your mother in law but since you lost your own mom. She’s made sure to check on you more, spend more time with you. 

You’re her third daughter and she adores you.

“Oh sweetie, come here” Alex’s husband, lets her in and she sees your tear stained face. 

You grip onto her so tight, like she’s the only thing keeping you glued together.

“I went to see him”

You motion for her to continue “he’s not good. He’s in a bad way, i know he’s messed up Y/N. And believe me, he knows that too. He told me what he did, everything. He knows it was wrong and how mad i am at him, how upset i am with him. But he loves you, so much. You’re everything to him, he wants to work through it”

“I want to work through it too but i’m scared, scared that he’ll do it again”

“After how i just saw him, i’ve never seen him that distraught, he loves you. It was a drunken mistake and it didn’t mean anything to him”

“Nothing good or worth fighting for ever comes easy”

It’s her little phrase, if you will. She always says it, whenever one of us is upset or going through a hard time. Whenever we can’t find the strength, she comes around, speaking words of wisdom and easing us.

“I think what you need now is space. Think things over, he’s willing to wait until you’re ready to talk” 

She spends some time with you, talking it over with you and Alex. Going over the details of what he did is her way of healing you. You need to be able to talk about it out loud before you face him because if you can’t then you’re going to struggle when it comes down to it.

“He said he missed you so much, that’s why he was drinking and got caught up” more tears brim in your eyes “i love him so much Lisa” her sympathetic smile comes out “and he loves you sweetie, more than you know”

Maybe her advice is what’s best for now. You need space.

Eventually, she leaves, giving you a hug before letting you get some rest.

You get changed after a shower and head to the guest room to sleep. 

Tomorrow is just another day of thinking and crying.

---------------------

It’s been 2 full days now and as you lay in bed, preparing to sleep before the third day starts, you check your phone to find a text from him.

‘I know i should leave you to it right now, give you space but you need to know this. 

When i first met you, you came into my life at a time where i had pretty much given up all hope when it came to love, i was certain that i was doomed and bound to end up alone forever. And then i met you and everything fell into place.

I was certain from the first date, that you were the one. Sounds pretty cliche when i come to think of it, but it’s true. I just knew.

You weren’t like other women, you still aren’t. You don’t doll yourself up all of the time, you prefer to keep the natural look, which i also prefer. You don’t try too hard, you’re effortlessly funny and beautiful.

You’re sarcastic but serious.

Everything about you just made me fall deeper, i couldn’t stop myself and as scared as i was, i didn’t want to stop it. I was relishing in the feeling of how i felt around you. How happy and unstoppable i felt. Like i could achieve anything with you around. 

You are the only woman i’ve ever loved that quickly. Normally love takes time but with you it didn’t. I had no trouble. It was like loving you came so naturally to me, like it was second nature.

Whilst i was away filming, i missed you so much and it had only been a couple weeks, i didn’t want to bother you too much, which is no excuse for how i acted but even so. I let myself get carried away with another woman who at a time of loneliness, gave me attention. It wasn’t right, it was wrong, so wrong and it’s forever going to remain the biggest mistake of my life.

I never wanted to hurt you, but i did. I’m supposed to be your husband, you’re supposed to be able to trust me and yet i snapped that trust into a million pieces. I let you down, i made you cry, i made you question who i was and why you even married me. I made myself unrecognisable in your eyes and that thought alone, makes me sick to my stomach, it makes me angry. Angry at who i let myself become.

Because i wasn’t raised to treat women that way. 

But you know as well as i do that it was nothing but a drunken mistake, a mistake that for as long as you’ll let me, i’ll spend forever trying to make up for. 

You mean too much to me for me to let it go. You’re my whole world. You make me the happiest man alive, you make every day worth living to the fullest. You make me a better person.

Y/N, i love you, it was once and it will never happen again. I want to make this work. I’m not asking for you to forgive me right this second and run back to my arms but even if it’s just a talk at first. One step at a time, i’m here and i want to make it work.

I love you with all my heart, honey. I want you back. I want to prove to you that you can trust me. I want to try. Anyway, you should get some sleep, i’ll see you whenever you’re ready. Love you x’

You wipe away the tears that fell whilst reading his message.

He’s never done anything like that before, whenever you’ve had a fight, he’s emotional and apologetic and he tries to make it right but right now. You’re seeing a different side to him.

You want nothing more than to go back home now. Slip into bed with him and have him wrap his arms around you tight, kiss your forehead and whisper sweet nothings into your ear until you fall asleep but you can’t. 

Maybe in a couple of days.

-------------------

You sip at your coffee, staring into space, your mind going over everything that you want to say to him.

You’ve decided that today is the day. After 3 days apart, you’re going to talk to him. 

It’s time.

You snap out of the daze, thanks to Alex clicking her fingers and asking some questions about breakfast to which you decline. You can’t even think about eating right now. It’s the last thing on your mind.

“I think i’m gonna head out”

“Are you sure you wanna do this today? There’s no time limit Y/N”

“No, i want to do this”

She hugs you goodbye, letting you know that you’re welcome to return afterwards, an offer you accept. Even if this chat goes well, you can’t just sleep there tonight, you’ll still need more space.

You get into your car and let out a deep breath that you’ve held in for days, it’s been making you tense. A feeling you still have and can’t shake, it’s weighing you down. The stress.

It doesn’t take long to get back home. You park up and let yourself in the house, you spot the mail on the floor so you bend down to pick it up and as you stand, he’s stood there, in nothing but his boxers. He’s just woken up.

“I didn’t think i’d see you for a long time” he mumbles, looking down at his bare feet “yeah well, we have a lot to talk about” he nods, gesturing for you to lead the way to the lounge.

You both sit down after he makes you a drink. Neither of you really say a word, just sitting there in silence for a couple of minutes. 

But eventually he breaks it.

“I’m sorry. I know those words get tossed around a lot like they don’t mean a thing but they do to me and i’m so so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean what i did and you didn’t deserve what i did. It was a mistake and i want to prove that it was a mistake and that i love you and only you”

“But how do you expect us to move past this Chris, to move forward?” a serious question that he looks dumbfounded by “i don’t expect anything Y/N. But to answer your question, i think that with time, talking and working together, we can do this, we can move forward”

“But how? How can that ever happen? And why should i agree to that?”

“Because i’m your husband, i’ve not acted like that lately but i am. I’m your husband and i love you and i swear to you right now that it’ll never happen again”

He glances over at you, resting his hand on yours and you hold it, letting him in a little.

“I love you too” 

Your way of letting him know that his wife hasn’t left him, his wife is still here. You’re still here.

“Do you want me? Do you want to work to fix this, to let me fix this?”

“I do”

You shock yourself with your response. It’s not the route that everyone would take. Most women would leave, never look back and do better. But this is different. You’re married to this man, you’ve spent 10 years building a life with this man, preparing to start a family. You can’t give up so easily. Even if it isn’t the way everyone else would handle it. 

After all though, even Alex said it. There is nothing you and Chris can’t get through.

You’ve had many ups and downs, more than a rollercoaster has but you pushed through. 

Like the time that you almost broke up after a year, because long distance just wasn’t working. You were both struggling. He was away filming for Marvel and you were living in London, getting your degree. 

Eventually though, you decided that you loved each other too much to throw it away. 

Or the time that your mom passed and you were turning your back on everyone who cared for you. Snapping at Chris way more than usual. You said some harsh words to him one day and he didn’t speak to you for days. He was mad. Hurt. 

And of course there have been more occasions where you’ve argued or had limits tested, buttons pushed. But it was always saved. This isn’t a lost cause now either, it can be fixed.

“I hope you can forgive me”

“I can’t promise anything Chris. But i can try to work it out”

He rests his forehead to yours, the pair of you sigh before he presses a kiss to your lips. 

A kiss that makes your body shiver, the fireworks are still there. His love, it’s still there. It might actually all be okay. Soon.

----------------------

* A year later*

You take a seat on the comfortable chair, for the last time. A mixture of feelings fill your body. Nerves, happiness, hope and optimism. 

“I understand that today is our last session, how do you feel these sessions have gone. Chris?”

“I think that they’ve gone well. They’ve certainly helped us. I feel that i’m slowly gaining trust back”

“How about you Y/N?”

“I couldn’t agree more. It’s definitely been a hard journey but a positive one nonetheless. It’s helped with getting a more in depth look as to why he cheated. I certainly feel more at ease with him now”

If someone would have suggested marriage counselling to you just weeks after Chris cheated, you’d have laughed at them and said no way. But you don’t know why you’d have done that when it’s seemed to work wonders for the two of you.

After that talk a year ago. You went back to your sisters, took more time for yourself and eventually he asked you out, on a date. He wanted to start over, spend time with you and get to know you as if it was the first time all over again.

But once you worked your way into you moving back in, Lisa suggested marriage therapy. And now you’re on your last visit. You definitely trust him more now than what you did before. Because you’ve had time to spend more hours together, more time off work to bond all over again. 

“Where are you at now, in your mindset?”

“I’m at the stage of trusting him again, slowly but surely it’s happening. I forgive him. I forgive his mistakes and i forgive myself too, for taking him back. Because i think for so long i beat myself up about it but i realise that i’m human, he’s my husband and to let him go would never have been easy. But i’m glad i didn’t, i’m glad i stuck with him and i feel like we’ve come out the other side stronger”

“I couldn’t agree more” Chris says as she turns to him, raising her brow as if to ask him the same question.

“I forgive myself too, for doing what i did and i let it go, i’ve stopped letting it weigh me down. We’re doing okay, it’s nowhere near where we want to be or how we used to be but we’re getting there, one day at a time”

The session eventually ends, leaving you feeling very weird. Like it’s the end of a chapter. 

The first proper start to the rest of your lives, after everything. 

And you’re feeling very positive about the future. As is he. You see a future, there are rainbows at the end of dark times and it’s possible. Anything is possible when you work together as a team.

“I love you” he says as you both get into his car, before he turns the key in the ignition.

“I love you too Chris”

“We’re going to be okay aren’t we?”

“We are”

---------------------

General Tag List: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @adriannajackson @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferouss @bradfordmyworld 

Just Chris & His Characters Tag List: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

(HC) RFA + MC in Quarantine

Listen lads, this is just a silly I wrote this the other day (I may have been a little but tipsy but shh) and I thought I might as well share it. I hope this cheers some of you up during such a scary time <3

***

Yoosung:

★ okay this is gonna sound obvious

★ but bare with

★ G A M E S

★ but!!! not just LOLOL!! oh no no!

★ i’m talking board games, PC games, active games like tag and hide and seek

★ you guys basically act like children how are you surviving on your own

★ you guys also do LOADS of cooking

★ like so much

★ you’re baking like one cake a day pls slow down

★ ngl you guys are thriving staying home all the time lol

★ if Yoosung has online classes, you set up a study club!

★ he does his college work whilst you do whatever work you gotta do boo love that tEAMWORK

★ honestly you guys have never been so productive oop

Zen:

❤︎ oh boy

❤︎ be prepared to be SMOTHERED in love

❤︎ zen i love you too but pls i have stuff to do

❤︎ m o v i e  n i g h t s

❤︎ f a c e  m a s k s

��︎ there are so many movies/tv series that you guys have been waiting to watch together but haven't had time to bc of zen’s work

❤︎ big sad :(

❤︎ BUT GUESS WHAT FAM

❤︎ WORK IS CANCELLED TIME TO SNUGGLE DOWN AND WATCH SOME DAMN CINEMA

❤︎ it usually turns into make out sessions but shh nobody has to know

❤︎ Zen kinda discovered that you guys c a n n o t cook

❤︎ so!!! you learn!!!

❤︎ it’s MESSY y’all

❤︎ “aw mc you look so cute with flour on your nose” throws flour at your face “zen i sWeaR tO GoD I just wanna make b r e ad leave me ALONE”

 ❤︎ quality couple time <3

Jaehee:

☞  lets get down to business

☞ to defeat

☞ THE H A N

☞ lol JK

☞ seriously the house has never been cleaner

☞ obvs your cafe isn't open so y’all have some time on your hands

☞ one day Jaehee suggests gardening

☞ oh man

☞ it escalated

☞ gardening has now become an OBSESSION

☞ honestly you couldn't find a prettier garden on pinterest swear down

☞ you also decided to renovate the house you’ve been meaning to do it but have never had the time

☞ your house is now a work of art wow proud of you guys <333

☞ tbh, Jaehee actually has a small fear of getting sick/you getting sick so you guys are only leaving the house if it is a b s o l u t e l y necessary

Jumin:

♚ nobody talk about the bad ending

♚ i said don’t…

♚ he’s be waiting for this moment who needs a cage when you have a national lockdown

♚ all jokes aside though this man still has to work from home

♚ poor bby

♚ let us all shed a tear for Jumin Han

♚ you love to bring him tea and homemade baked goods whilst he works and guess what??? so does he lol

♚ it is time

♚ to D A N C E

♚ this man is so extra oml

♚ insists on taking online ballroom dance lessons bc why not MC hmmm???

♚ he is actually a very good dancer

♚ once you guys get good enough it turns into spontaneous ballroom dancing in the kitchen whilst you clean up after dinner

♚ wine??? wine did you say??? W I N E???

♚ oh b o y

♚ you've seen each other tipsy before, and lemme tell ya it takes a lot to get this man drunk

♚ his tolerance is so high from all the w i n e

♚ but one night you two get absolutely HAMMERED like oh my God guys calm down pls

♚ rip your liver lmao

♚ it makes for a v e r y funny evening though you guys have literal tears in your eyes and its so nice to see the mighty Jumin Han loosen up a little aw bless

Saeyoung:

☀︎ okay

☀︎ listen

☀︎ this man is absolutely out of control i can’t

☀︎ you thought he was a prankster before???? oh man i am so sorry

☀︎ “saeyoung why is there a balloon above saeran’s door” “don’t worry bout it babe” “i am WORRYING SAEYOUNG”

☀︎ on a serious note though being stuck in the house does sometimes bring back some bad memories for him

☀︎ there are some bad days where he just n e e d s to get out

☀︎ so you sometimes go out for a quick drive in some desert place ya know let’s be sensible

☀︎ you guys have also made a habit of climbing to the roof and watching the stars aw

☀︎ you’ve also both fallen a sleep there a few times oopsy daisy

☀︎ the memes are the only thing getting you guys through at this point it’s a problem

☀︎ but you are loving the quality time with your choi boys so it’s not all bad <3

☀︎ family snuggles are a must

☀︎ a M U S T

☀︎ the desired s n u g g l e position is you sat on Saeyoung’s lap, your legs draped over Saeran’s lap and Saeran’s head resting on Saeyoung’s shoulder AW

☀︎ sometimes you hold Saeran’s hand whilst he’s asleep bc your edgy boi needs love but wont ask for it ever

V:

❁ first of all

❁ a w

❁ this man is the sweetest peach

❁ he makes so many cute things for you whilst you guys are in lockdown

❁ i mean he’s writing letters, knitting you scarves, painting you pictures the whole shebang

❁ he even made you a pyjamas

❁ he’s sewing guys he’s out of control

❁ if your working/reading/just having a quiet moment he will sketch you

❁ you wouldn't know it though bc he’s a s n e a k y bastard

❁ he’s never filled a sketchbook so fast and it’s his most treasured possession

❁ a book!!! filled with YOU!!!!! amazing!!!!!!

❁ wait, did you hear that????

❁ oh yeah

❁ ITS ARTS AND CRAFTS TIME

❁ actual children

❁ even if what you make is terrible its just so fun because you're doing it together

❁ brb just crying my eyes out i love this man so much

❁ you guys also make care packages and do the grocery shopping for the elderly/at risk people in your area and deliver it for them AND sewing scrubs/masks for doctors

❁ “I don’t want to stay inside doing nothing all the time when there are people who need help” THIS MAN IS TOO MUCH

Saeran:

☽ i hope you're ready for this grumpy motherfucker

☽ he never went outside anyway but now that he cant go out it sounds like the best thing in the world saeran pls

☽ ah yes it is time to wake up

☽ oh it’s 4pm?????

☽ HA who needs a sleep schedule anyway

☽ also Saeyoung is not the only twin with the Mischief Gene™

☽ oh no no no

☽ you two team up and absolutely destroy him

☽ i am so sorry Saeyoung but you had this coming

☽ when Saeran says that he wants to learn an instrument you are GOBSMACKED

☽ HELL Y E S

☽ he orders a keyboard and omg he’s such a fast learner

☽ probs from all the years of hacking ouch

☽ do i smell??? A FAMILY BAND?????

☽ you and Saeyoung play kazoo

☽ Saeran has left the chat

☽ seriously though his piano playing is so pretty and it calms him down so much ughhh PRECIOUS TOMATO BOI

***

This is so chaotic hahahah I hope you enjoyed though. If people liked it I’ll do some more silly things like this. It was a nice break from...the other stuff I’m writing...hint hint watch this space ;)

Masterlist

[crazyyfilmyfreak]

The Devil All the Time ( 2020 )

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS FREE REVIEW

"There's a lot of no-good sons of bitches out there"

Okay alright first of all 

This is not your generic go-to netflix crime thriller if you are watching it with that intention everything is wrong with you 

This Film is dark , not just dark but dark as hell which is filled with gore elements which also includes a multi layered story telling and the film is filled with a group of astonishing cast members and every one of them has a potential to carry the whole film on their shoulders with no hard work but just with grace and ease so these reasons altogether might have over hyped few people's expectations and i think that is the main reason why i am seeing some mixed reviews here and there online or maybe just because you started watching this film with a very wrong intent or wrong mind set like i said before and i am stressing this so much because of in my opinion this film is just perfect maybe there are flaws obviously every film will have flaws but i just couldn't see them ? Maybe because i am a big fan of tom holland i might be little biased but to me this film is top notch and this is a perfect film film 

Now speaking about the cast & film overall 

This is a very slow paced slow burning piece of art 

It takes you to the places you can never think of mentally and it makes you feel completely lost in emotions by the end of the film making you numb 

Antonio Campos is a fucking genius i love his way of story telling 

He's honest , he knows what he is doing , he loves taking risks and he never fears when ever he goes out of the conventional film making style and i very much love how he connected every character in the film like i mean every character in the film is interconnected and if you remove any one character you will feel the void , disturbance and unbalance in the film. 

Film lovers might argue with me or hate me for saying this but i feel this film is so much better than christine 👀🤝🏻 atleast to me ? And this is coming from a person who also loved it a lot 

Now the cast 

I cant speak about everyone in the film because this has such a long list of talented actors 😭 who rocked in the film i am only going to speak abt some of my favourite performances as of now i promise to speak about every other cast member and their performance in the later days coz i am very sure this is a film i am going to talk a lot from now and this is also a film that i am going to watch and enjoy in the future days 

First TOM FUCKING HOLLAND 

I have been seeing this dude's films even before the civil war where he played the spidey role and i always felt he was a very raw and potential actor since his childhood but after seeing him in civil war and spider man hoco its just impossible for me to not like him as an actor ? HE IS SO GOOD ON SCREEN and he makes you believe everything when ever he's on screen maybe its swinging from wall to wall or putting a donut or whatever into a guys mouth while kicking his ass and making it look bad ass af🔥 few might feel this are such a silly examples to say but to me this is about how tom brings a realistic approach to a scene and makes it good and i have always been a big fan of tom holland since spiderman hoco and this is nothing related to tdat but y'all might already know timothee was the second closest option of mcu to cast as spidey and tom grabbed that role ever since tom is just busy with mcu films and where as timothee had a incredible and unbelievable growth as an ACTOR for real to me that is stunning because he did it in such short of span and to me as fan of tom holland part of me was always loving him as spidey but a big heart of me felt a void and sad because tom is missing a lot of great opportunities which has a chance to showcase his real acting abilities which made me think what if timothee got the spidey role instead of tom? Maybe we would have seen a serious tom holland as an actor and this thought killed me everytime but everything happens for a reason and tom holland is undoubtedly the best spidey we have ever got and anyways when films like tdat happen many people realise and understand how great and how fucking incredible tom holland is as an actor and i love when everyone appreciate him for this !! It makes my heart very happy and this is the exact reason why this film is so personal and special to me 

Sorry for completely deviating from the film but this is tumblr and i am not a serious film critic lol so forgive me. 

And speaking about his performance in the film he is just surreal and outstanding . The character that he played is a very complicated one not many relate to that character but every one can understand his emotions, actions and intentions in the film and all the credit goes to tom for bringing a life to that character and playing it in such a beautiful way listen to me very carefully when i am saying this not many actors from this generation can bring bundle of emotions at the same time in a same scene but tom holland does that with such an ease and i stg i am not exaggerating if you watch the film you will know what i mean !! And i am very proud to say i am his big fan 

Now Robbert pattinson 

What the fuck should i talk about this asshole 😂🖕? 

My dude's been killing it since remember me and as an actor like i said in the Tenet Review he has matured a lot as an actor since good time and he played a very powerful and sick role in the film i am not gonna spoil it for others just go and watch the fucking film atleast for him he did a great job and i dont understand how the women and gays are dealing with him? Seriously even as a straight guy its hard for me to concentrate on the film or scenes where ever he's present because this asshole is so fucking hot and sexy 👉👈 The directors should either deglamorise him by making him fat or bald or just hide his face with prosthetic make up or sth just like how directors hide tom hardy's face in every film he's in 🙄. Now coming back to his performance its really hard to dominate him when ever he's on screen dude just want all the attention towards him , such a selfish actor huh 

Bill Skarsgard 

He played a very important and crucial role in the film he maynot have big screen time but we can totally feel his presence through out the film i think this one sentence explains how important his character is to the film and how well he potrayed the role and he's the only guy in the film who got an incredible character growth throughout his journey in the film

Harry Melling 

It would be very unfair if i dont speak about harry's performance in tdat 

DUDE KILLED IT . HE SCARED ME WITH HIS EMOTIONS AND EXPRESSIONS . He didn't even a play a negative role but he just added a lot of depth not only to his character but also the film with his intimidating portrayal 

Sebastian stan 

This is the most honest and a very raw performance from Sebastian stan so far ( i am saying this based on the films that i have seen of his ) i just wish he had more screen time thats the only thing that i didnt like in the film also there are so many blanks that needs to be filled about his character 

Eliza Scanlen

I dont remember her from any film or tv series that i have seen before but she's outstanding in the film , the character doesnt have much something new to offer so i can't speak a lot for her but as far as the character concerned she did her best and her performance is a impressive one and many people are gonna love her . 

Riley Keough 

Unlike the previous films & tv series she's been in 

This film gave her a very challenging role and she's the only women in the film who's been through ups and downs and has a very complicated but a impressive character growth with minimal limitations and dimensions 

She was fabulous and incredible . It just stuns me how the character has begin and how it ended at the end 

And special mention to jason clarke and the old couple who played grandparents ( kind of ) to Arvin Russel and lenora . Not all heroes wear the cape. 

Finally despite the mention of god several times in the film this is not really about god at all its about the DEVIL , The DEMON that carries and plays a very pivotal role in the film you cannot see it but you can sense it and feel it 

Its about the blind faith, its about the irreversible & inescapable fate . I really love how Antonio Campos has connected all the dots by the end of the film with a very impressive film making and with a steady gothic theme running till the end internally and i haven't completely finished the book ( The devil all the time ) but if anyone really wants to completely bring the book life they cannot do it in a single film it will take you atleast 4 or 5 tv series to do so but Antonio Campos did it with a single film and added a very deep meaning to the core of the film w/o deviating from the roots of the book & even touched the aspects like duality of a man and some of you grateful fucks are complaining about him 

OBVIOUSLY films ard subjective but you all need to be more open about this film 

In simple words please fucking watch this film guys 🤗❤ 

This one is not for everyone but everyone will have atleast a small aspect in the film that y'all are going to like / love / hate / discuss about. 

The devil all the time is violent , brutal , honest and perfect in every possible way atleast to me and i really want you all to watch it if you're into such type of stuff 

Remember No country for old men ? Now make it 10 times more violent but add some meaning to it with a realistic approach but more slow burning drama and a little bit of darkness ... now that is what The Devil all the time is .

Gif credits : Milesgmorales

[doof-doofblog]

"I'm Your Father, Love!"

Tuesday 18th May 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope you're all doing okay, I'm back with another post and tonight I'll be reviewing Tuesday's post episode. However before we get started I have a little bit of news to share, which I'm sure the majority of you might've heard by now. Adam Woodyatt has announced that he's not going to be returning to Albert Square until at least 2022! So of course, for me, that raises the question - What has Ian been doing all of this time? Where did he go when he wondered off into the night? I know that there's going to be some major questions to be asked. We all last saw Ian leave the Square after he realised that his new wife, Sharon was poisoning him after she found out about his involvement in her son, Dennis's death. I hope Ian's return will be a big one, considering the way he left - with no money, no phone - just the clothes on his back, I'm eager to see where he has been and what he's been doing. What do you guys think?

Anyway, focusing on the episode at hand, firstly I'm going to begin with Katy and Frankie. Considering that Monday's episode ended with Katy returning to the Square, it wasn't going to be long until she crossed someone's path. Unfortunately for Frankie, it turns out her Mum has come back to the Square to see her. As Frankie is sat quietly in the club, she's startled as she looks up to see her Mum standing over her. Katy tries to plead with her to have one last drink with her before she gets locked up, but Frankie is having none of it. Although when she escapes from her Mum arrives back at the Vic, she realises that Mick's victim statement is all placed in an envelope and ready to be read out loud in court. 

To me it seems that Frankie was struggling whether to go and see her Mum or not, because at the end of the day, she is her Mum. Eventually Frankie agrees to meet with her Mum in the park, without anyone else around. At first it looks as if they're bonding as Katy recalls about the time she took her daughter to the beach around Christmas time. It looks as if Katy is still holding onto the hope that she can be seen as a good person in her daughter's eyes. Eventually it becomes perfectly clear what Katy is wanting from her daughter, she questions whether Frankie will give her a character reference so the court can see what kind of person she can be. But Frankie realises that once again she's being used by her Mum, she walks away completely ignoring her Mother. I do feel for Frankie as she is kind of in the middle of all of this, but she needs to realise that she has no blame in any of it, all the blame leads directly to Katy. 

Returning to the Vic, Frankie confides in Shirley, informing her of her Mother's request but she makes it known that she completely refused, much to Shirley's delight. Shirley claims she's proud of Frankie for doing the right thing and how she always knew she was on their side. I think as much as Frankie is wanting to stand by her Dad and help him through this ordeal, I guess a part of her is also thinking that she's also losing her Mum in all of this. I think I do feel for Frankie right now, but I am really intrigued to see the court scenes when they air. Will Mick be able to read his statement in court with Katy sat right there in the room?!

--

Elsewhere on the Square, Sharon is prepping herself for the launch of her new gym, however she's getting very little help from Zack. As she voices her ideas to him, he's insulting every single suggestion. He informs her that she needs to think bigger and advertise on social media and consider that people are going to be wanting to join the gym, so she should have some fresh smoothies made etc etc. 

As Zack tries to, once again, show off, Martin and Ruby happen to be walking with Lily across the Square. Is it me, or does this Zack think that he's God's gift to women? Showing off and flirting with anything that moves, but it seems his eyes are focused on Ruby at the moment - and Martin is really noticing which is making him incredibly jealous and possibly even cautious. Only did you guys happen to see the look on Lily's face? Do you think she has sussed out that her Dad may be jealous of Zack? 

Later as Zack is trying out a new cocktail, I'm not 100% sure whether it was something new for the club or something he was working on for the gym launch, but regardless he gets Ruby to be his guinea pig. However, lurking in the corner, sitting and watching everything unfold in front of her, is Lily. Ruby happens to notice her step-daughter and questions why she's not in school. Lily makes up an excuse and instantly asks her step-mum whether she has a crush on Zack, which of course Ruby firmly denies and informs her not to get involved in "Adult Business!" 

However, it looks as if the cogs are turning in Lily's mind. I'm assuming she still really doesn't look Ruby and will do anything to make her life a misery, maybe even split her and her Dad up. As she returns him and is sat watching TV with her Dad, Martin asks about what she's been doing whilst he's been away. It's then that Lily spins a web of lies, telling her Dad that Ruby wasn't around much and she was hanging around with Zack a lot, even mentioning that Zack had stayed over. Knowing full well how this would make her Dad feel, I think it's simply to do with Lily getting back at Ruby, purely for her Mum's sake. Is there anything Lily won't do to ruin Martin and Ruby's marriage?!

--

Another thing I have to mention is Bernie! Now Bailey has returned home, the Taylor family are slowly getting back to normal and having the family together again. Even though the family are terrified to let Bailey out of their sight. Bailey overhears Karen shouting for her in a blind panic, but once Karen realises that she's still safe and sound in the apartment, Bailey realises how worried her family were about it, claiming that she's seen all the online posts about her online. Does Bailey now feel guilty for running out on her family? Did she really believe that her family would be better off without her? The poor kid! 

But it seems that Karen isn't the only one who's concerned about Bailey's whereabouts, it looks as if Keegan is eager to keep a close eye on her also. He mentions to Tiffany that he and Bernie will be taking Bailey out for some lunch. Later as they all gather at McKlunky's, Keegan asks his sister about this "bonus" she'll be getting from Kheerat. But Bernie reassures her brother that he doesn't have to match her money, and he doesn't have to pay her back either. As a sweet and joking gesture, she informs him that as soon he has made his first million, that he can pay her back! 

However, the previous episode, Rainie informed Bernadette that she and Stuart are going to be finding another surrogate, so if Bernie is eager to make some quick cash for her family then she needs to act fast! Desperately she approaches Rainie begging her to give her a chance, to the point where she pushes herself to inform Rainie that she can lose the weight within a month! Rainie realises that Bernie is deeply serious about her surrogate and agrees to give her the one month deadline for her to lose weight so she can be their surrogate and carry a baby safely. 

Now I fear that this is where Bernie's eating disorder is going to come in, I know what it's like to lose weight, it can be a long and hard process - weight does not simply drop off you within a month! I fear that Bernie may make some drastic and hard decisions when it comes to her eating now. Will she perhaps start making herself sick? Or will she not eat at all and eventually go light headed and pass out? There could so many different and dark roads this storyline will take, I just hope there will be no lasting damage to both Bernadette, and the soon to be baby she'll be carrying - if it ever gets to that point! What do you guys think of this current storyline? I'm really interested in hearing your thoughts on this one! 

--

The final thing I have to mention is Sonia! Oh poor Sonia! After overhearing Dotty and Tiffany taking the mick out of her and calling her horrendous names, it looks as if Sonia is feeling as if she's aged since leaving the Square. Almost to the point where she feels it's time for her to change her look, she approaches Denise in the salon and asks her to give her a new do - from what we gather, something along the lines of what Dua Lipa has! 

Now Denise questions Sonia's decision and can see that maybe Sonia is having some kind of breakdown. She swiftly talks her into having a drink with her at the Vic. I have to say though, this scene between Sonia and Denise I absolutely loved. We don't get to see these two women socialise enough, it was just so lovely to see Denise reassure Sonia that she's not as "Boring" as some people think she is! She is a very important part of the community and mentions rightly how much Sonia has had to cope with over the last year, being a nurse and regards to the pandemic. It made it feel quite realistic for me, everyone knows how much we have needed the NHS this last year or so and how hard every single NHS employee has worked to keep us all safe! Even though the pandemic is real and Sonia is a fictional character, it was just nice for someone to reassure her that she is important and she is deeply loved within the community. I also have to say how much I love Denise also - I don't think Diane Parish gets the recognition she deserves! 

However as the drinks begin to flow, Denise and Sonia begin talking about Dotty. Denise informs her that she shouldn't listen to anything Dotty has to say, but unfortunately lets slip that Dotty has been performing as a hostess at the club. Learning this news, Sonia storms right over to the club and instructs Dotty to stop doing what she's doing, flaunting herself over middle aged men for money! However, she happens to insult a man standing by the bar, calling him a pervert! Dotty is left absolutely humiliated, but personally - it felt good to see Dotty be told straight! Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike Dotty, but I think becoming a hostess and dragging Tiffany in to doing it also, just doesn't seem right. I don't think she's no where near as bad as her Father, but I think she'll always have a rebel side to her! 

Oh so finally Brian Connelly has made his first appearance on the Square as Terry Cant. His first encounter was accidently bumping into Rainie. But as he continued to wonder Walford, he found himself in Ruby's club, working up an audience telling them a really interesting story, from what I could make out! However, he happened to be the one who was caught up in Sonia's confrontation with Dotty, being the one called a pervert. 

As Sonia returned back to the Square and began chatting once again with Denise and Tiffany, she was horrified to see that the "Pervert Man" had followed her back to the Vic. As she makes herself scarce by hiding underneath the table, Terry begins to ask for Sonia Fowler. But as Denise questions what he wants her for and whether she's done anything wrong, Terry informs them that she in fact hasn't done anything wrong, but called her Dad a pervert! Yep, that's right! Terry Cant is Sonia's Dad!!!! Where has he been all this time? How will Sonia react to her Father rolling up on the Square?

I know that Thursday's episode has already aired, but I'm looking forward to reviewing that episode tomorrow! Do you hope that Terry will become a permanent member of the cast? What else will bring him to Walford other than reconnecting with his daughter? I have to be honest, I'm looking forward to seeing what Brian Connelly will bring to the Square. I know he's well known for his comedy, but I'll be interested to see if they bring a more serious and maybe dark side to his character. I just think it'll give Brian Connelly that chance to shine and prove he can be a brilliant actor as well as a brilliant comedian! What do you guys think?? 

Thank you all for reading, it truly means the world! Please feel free to leave me a comment or leave me a message regarding anything currently happening in EastEnders right now. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts, opinions and theories! Love you all xXx

[getitinbusan]

When your cheating ex calls months later will you answer?

Jungkook

Cheating, Heartbreak, Angst and Sex

You were just about to fall asleep when your phone went off.  With an exasperated sigh you rolled over wondering which of your friends was in need. You moved for the device a little annoyed but felt obligated to answer, after all,  they'd been there for you no questions asked during the break up. 

The screen lit up "DO NOT ANSWER" and your heart dropped. You'd once read that it was a good idea to rename your ex in your phone so you wouldn't feel temptation to communicate but that was months ago. You made the fatal mistake of not deleting his contact picture and now here he was showing up on your screen. He never did try and call, this was the first time you were faced with the decision of answering.  

Setting your phone down you pulled the covers over your head and tried to block it out of your mind.  A single notification pinged through your duvet and bounced around your head before you surrendered. With a mind of its own your hand snuck out of your blanket fort and picked up the cold device 

JK: Please Y/N, I really need you right now.  

Y/N: Why are you doing this to me Jungkook? I'm finally getting over you.  

JK: I'm selfish and I'm stupid but I'm also the loneliest I've ever been in my life. Our apartment is so empty, I haven't been able to sleep in our bed since you left. 

Y/N: I'm not the one who left Jungkook. You seem to forget that you checked out of this relationship before I packed my boxes.  

JK: Can I please just see you? 

JK: Please 

JK: 

Y/N: Are you really crying right now?  

JK: I haven't stopped since…. Fuck, I know you hate me, its killing me. Please just let me apologize in person 

You knew it was the wrong choice, seeing him was just going to rip your heart in two again.  

Y/N: Send a fucking car

The door man greeted you with a closed mouth smile and a nod. Embarrassment creeped through your being whenever people looked at you with pity, "I'll let Mr. Jeon know you're here."

Meeting you at the elevator he looked a mess. He'd lost some muscle and his skin was pale, his sunken eyes were red and tired. Reaching out to hug you, he thought better and instead jammed his firsts into the pockets of his worn grey track pants.  He was wearing a T-shirt and you were forced to observe his tattoos like a fucking train wreck. They were like a banner, there written across the body you once worshiped, saying, "I fucked someone else."

He noticed you looking at his arm and ran his hand over it, "I guess you haven't seen them yet." He proudly held it out for you. You felt sick to your stomach, "Yeah, I don't really want to look at them Jungkook. You could at least have the decency to put on a fucking sweater or something."

He was puzzled by your reaction but reached for his flannel button down hanging off the back of the couch anyway. The tears came immediately, you needed to make him understand what he'd done. You sobbed his name, "Jungkook, how am I supposed to look at you when her writing is all over you in permanent ink?" 

He dropped to his knees looking up at you pleading, "But you have to, look at me Y/N, I never meant to hurt you. What can I do? I'll do anything to fix this."

The ache that had tormented your heart returned stronger than ever. "How am I supposed to trust you? You told me you were going to Geoje Island to hike Gyeryongsan Park. I didn't question you, I didn't ask you not to go, I wasn't a bad girlfriend Jungkook, I just fucking loved you. All I've been able to do for months is try to figure out how I screwed up… but I didn't, you did.  Now you have the nerve to ask ME how to fix it?"

You crumpled to the floor beside him crying uncontrollably, he was devastated finally seeing the effect his actions had on you. 

"I'm going to fix this, I'm going to put us back together," picking you up he carried you over to the couch and held you against his chest. You were both crying but the comfort of his heartbeat thrumming through you brought you a peace you'd missed so much. 

"All my life I've trained hard, I've done what I was told, I followed the rules and I've had to act as "Jungkook" the idol. The truth is, I don't know who Jeong-guk is. During the break I wasn't under the microscope, I just got to do what I felt like doing, and honestly, it felt really good. I hiked Gyeryongsan with my brother and we met a group of people, they were from the tattoo shop. I decided to just do it… because I wanted to. It took a few days so we got to know them, drank with them, ate with them, they just felt like friends." He paused his story sensing your agitation. 

 "Did you think of me at all Guk?" Your heart was racing, anger creeping back in as you remembered seeing the pictures online.  "We don't get to be seen in public, we don't get to hold hands, we don't get to go out to eat. Why was it okay with her?"

He took a deep breath, "I could because she wasn't you… because I didn't care,  because I wanted to see what would happen" He put his fingers in your hair and brushed it out of your face, "I can't with you, I need to protect you, I need to keep you safe and out of the spotlight so you don't get hurt. The fans can be really mean, I honestly don't know what I'd do if the people I am so grateful for turned on the person I love the most."  

You let your fingers fan out over his chest, just getting to touch him again made your heart race. You didn't want to get sucked back in but here you were, his words were believable and you even felt a little bad for him. He placed his hand on top of yours, his tattoos demanding your attention  "Why didn't you talk to me? You just let me go, let me believe what I saw." 

You traced the outline of the heart with your fingertip and you felt a tear land on your face as he leaned over you. "I was just trying to figure out who I was, I didn't think you'd love ME, especially after what you saw and heard. When we were in New Zealand I did a lot of reflecting, even though I'm struggling to know who I am, I'm less of that person without you. You not only make me more of the man I want to be, you put up with who I have to be." He kissed your forehead and you understood.  

"Guk…I'm so tired, take me to bed." He let out an audible sigh of relief knowing that you were willing to move forward with him.  

Raising your arms over your head he pulled your shirt off your body and replaced it gently with one of his oversized T-shirts. Turning down the sheets you crawled in, it felt like your mind could finally have a rest. Sure that your doubts and sadness would come back, at least for tonight, they had been defeated. He wrapped his arms around you as you both gave in to months of mental exhaustion, sleep conquering sadness, hope turning into dreams that once again dared to reveal themselves.  

The sunlight danced on your eyelids, the scent of Jungkook heavy in the air, you must be dreaming. Afraid to open your eyes, afraid it wouldn't be real you felt his hand on your waist and you couldn't help but smile.  He knew you were awake, nuzzling into your neck he whispered, "It feels like heaven having you back." 

Turning to him you placed your hand on his cheek, "My head is telling me to go but I really want to be here, please make me stay." 

Leaning in he kissed you, god it felt good. You'd blocked out every memory of the pleasure you'd once shared but with one kiss they came flooding back and you wanted him so badly inside of you.  

Roughly you kissed him and began tugging off his clothes. Pulling his shirt over his head the sight of his tattoos fueled an aggression in you to take back what was yours. "Tell me you love me Jungkook," you growled as his cock hardened in your hand.  

"I love you," he panted back, "I fucking love you more than anything."

He sucked your nipple into his mouth as you straddled him sinking down onto his eager dick. Both of you moaning you continued your assault, maybe you could fuck the pain away, "Did she make you feel this fucking good?" 

Like you weighed nothing he immediately flipped you onto your back, laying over top of you he stared frozen. 

"Stop,  just…stop….I didn't fuck her, I didn't do anything with her… I need you to believe that." He was crying, "please believe me"

You did, maybe it was naive but in that moment you really did.  Holding his face you let your lips ghost over his, "I believe you."

Taking control he moved slowly, deliberately, entering you while not breaking his lips away from yours. He rolled his hips deep into a rhythm that rubbed perfectly inside of you and you were lost.  The pleasure elevated by his admissions of love and desire for you as he called your name and moaned in time with his motions.

The raw feelings like electricity heightened your desire, as you let go you cried aloud clenching around him as you both came. "You're so beautiful giving yourself to me, I don't deserve you," he was so emotional, you'd never seen him like this. 

Laying together coming down from the high of passion, life did what it always does, the adrenaline had worn off and the truth came creeping back in. Unsure of what may or may not have happened it was a betrayal nonetheless. Trust had been lost, lies told and promises were broken.  Where did you go from here? 

He lay beside you stroking your hair with a small content grin on his face and you ran you hand over his chest, fingertips across his collar bone and skimming down his arm. The words on his skin screamed at you and sadness draped over you like a blanket of darkness. Noticing the wetness gathering on his chest,  he sat up to see the tears quietly fall down your cheeks. Leaning over he retrieved his long sleeve shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head. "I hope one day you can look at me and it won't hurt. My arms are supposed to protect you and comfort you not make you sad."

You rolled over to face him, " I hope so too."

[just-general-stuff]

And They Were Quarantined

Laying out on the couch, Chris stared up at the ceiling wondering how in the hell did he ever get into this situation. Of all the things that had happened to him, this is by far the worst experience he ever had.

The world was now in the grips of a pandemic but not from a virus engineered to be the perfect weapon that would turn the living into the dead. No, it just happened to a virus made from nature and had jumped from animal to human.

And then he and Wesker were suspected to have caught it when they had been close proximity to one person ill with the virus.

So here they were self-quarantined in his home because the hospitals were full and it was for the best else they spread it. Governments around the world had enforced lockdowns and the city he was in was no exception to the rule.

But to be trapped here with Wesker? God, he hated it.

After capturing him and taking him back, the B.S.A.A. thought it would be a good idea to use Wesker as a means to gather information of the other up and coming bio-terrorist groups. Wesker had been fitted with a collar that would shock him with thousands of volts that would outright kill a human. In his case, it would incapacitate him with the virus still lingering his system albeit weaker than it was before.

Uroborous had been burned out of his system so that was a plus at the very least. Still, a slightly stronger Wesker running amok was not in the plans for everyone so they had decided to stuck him with Wesker as they figured an already supposedly sick B.S.A.A. agent could watch him too.

Speaking of Wesker, he heard shuffles and soft noises coming from the other side of the room and turned his gaze to see Wesker watching some video on his laptop with a blanket curled around him.

“You got the chills or what?” He asks.

“I’m fine. It’s none of your concern.” Wesker replies back.

“It is if you’re going to start coughing and sneezing on me.” Chris shoots back. “Honestly, you would think your virus would be the hot shit and be able to beat back a normal virus for once.”

“Chris-.”

“Seriously, it can give you super healing, super speed, strength and endurance, and even enhanced senses but when it comes to a virus that give flu-like symptoms, it can’t even beat that. Your virus is a failure.”

“Chris, shut the hell up before I make you shut up.”

“Then have fun getting electrocuted.” Chris said, daring the man to do it.

Gritting his teeth, Wesker turned his back on Chris turning all his attention on the video not wanting to argue any longer with the brunette.

“…Have you already taken your shot?” Chris asks then.

“I did. You don’t have to concern yourself about me.”

“I don’t. I just don’t want you ending up dead in my apartment because you forgot to take one of those injections for your virus.” Chris says, rolling his eyes. But deep down, he was quite concerned. Despite hating the man, there was a part of him that still cared for the man. He never stopped loving the former Captain and he hated it.

“I’m bored.” Chris mumbles.

“Why am I not surprised?” Wesker scoffs, having heard Chris with his sharp hearing.

“What are you even watching anyway? It’s not about ‘How to Conquer the World 101’ is it?”

Now annoyed and on the verge of losing it, Wesker whirled ready to give Chris a piece of his mind when suddenly there was loud music playing outside. So loud that it boomed all throughout the neighborhood.

“What the hell?” Wesker growled angrily.

“Let me check.” Chris went over to the balcony opening the balcony doors and there he saw the neighbor on his balcony from the apartment across from his playing some loud cheery music and acting as a DJ.

Everyone else had also gone out and some were recording him or dancing to the music.

“Hey hey hey, guys! I know everyone can’t go outside because of this pandemic but that doesn’t mean we can’t party it up here! So have fun!” The man shouts and starts playing the music even louder.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh and decided he should join in the fun. It beat staring up his ceiling all day. He starts dancing on the balcony, leaping up and down as he bobbed to the music leaving a very bewildered and annoyed Wesker.

“Chris, will you get back in here and shut those doors? Its loud and the music is jarring.”

“Sucks to be you I guess. This is the most fun I’ve had in days!”

“Well you can have fun when you shut the damn doors! The music is hurting my ears!” Wesker roars. The loud music was jarring to his hearing and he clamped his hands over his ears trying to block out the music.

Seeing pain etched on the other man’s face, Chris felt a bit guilty and decided to come back in, shutting the balcony doors close behind him.

“Sorry about that.”

Wesker sighed and then got up, letting his hands fall. “You were bored… I can’t exactly blame you for that. You’ve always needed something to do else you go nuts.” Wesker states.

“You… remember?”

“Of course I remember, Chris. You were like this super active puppy bouncing around unless I give you duties.” Wesker said raising an eyebrow to that. He may have betrayed them but he had been their Captain. He knew all of their quirks and habits both the good and bad.

This made Chris blush red in the face and his heart skipping. God, why did he have to be like this? Wesker just remembered yet hearing him say that he remembered him made his insides turn all gooey and filled him with warmth.

“…Do you still have feelings for me, Chris?” Wesker questioned the younger man.

Oh here it comes now. The moment of truth. Wesker would know if he was lying so Chris had no choice but to come clean. Taking in a deep breath, he nods meekly.

“Yes. Even though I still hate you, yes. Yes I still do have them.” He mumbles.

Silence filled the room and Chris felt his palms start to sweat and his heart started to pound as he grew more nervous from the lack of a response from Wesker. He shouldn’t have said anything. But Wesker would pry it out of him regardless.

And then, Wesker took a step closer towards him and leaned down pressing a soft kiss on his head.

“I still hate you too. But… I never stopped. Those pesky feelings… never went away.” Wesker confessed softly.

Chris blinked as he tried to process what Wesker said. Despite everything, Wesker still… cared about him? He couldn’t believe it. Yet, lifting up his gaze at the older man he could see that Wesker was telling the truth in those red eyes. No longer hidden by the dark shades he wore, he could see the honesty in those eyes despite the cold front.

Smiling like an idiot, Chris couldn’t help but chuckle at the hilarity of the situation. “Leave it to a pandemic to make us confess our feelings huh?”

“Shut up, Chris.” Wesker mutters and leaned in this time capturing his lips instead.

Unbeknownst to them, one of the neighbors were recording them and had uploaded this online.

Jill was not happy. Not at all.

“AND THEY WERE QUARANTINED!” She yells to Barry over the phone as she made her way through the hallway passing the two people walking by.

“Oh my god, they were quarantined.” Rebecca said melodramatically to Piers, much to Piers’s bewilderment and amusement, both of them knowing fully well whom Jill was referring to.

[bella-spil]

Emotion Sickness

Summary: You catch Steve and Natasha in the act.  After a couple hours you find yourself in the medical wing with Bucky, and you want him to help you with some problems.

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT(so nobody under 18.  Wait what am I saying? I’m under 18, so idgaf.)

taglist: @kmuir1​ @wednesday-add-em​ @sea040561​ (the more the merrier)

Word Count: 4k

A/N: sry I haven’t posted in a while, so I wrote this to make up for not writing lately.  This is based off a comic called “Emotion Sickness,” so I would check it out bc it’s pretty good.  It’s an online comic. Enjoy!  Also check out my Masterlist!

It was a normal day at the Avengers Compound.  The sun was out and there wasn’t a grey cloud in sight.  Birds were chirping and squirrels were running around the fields surrounding the Compound.  Overall a very peaceful day.    

You did your normal morning routine: wake up, work out, take a shower, eat breakfast, and then relax for the rest of the day. You were relaxing and listening to music in your room, a normal activity for you.  Steve and Natasha were hanging around somewhere that you didn’t care, and everyone else was on a mission somewhere around the world.  You were thanking God that you had a few days off because you needed it, maybe more than Steve and Natasha.

You were a part of the team because you had a very specific skill set.  You could manipulate people, physically, emotionally and mentally.  Also, you could fly, so you had a big field when it comes to powers.  And you could feel what others could feel, physically and mentally and emotionally.  Your emotions have an array of effects on your powers.  For example, if you were mad, everyone, even super villains, would know not to mess with you.  If you were sad or depressed, your powers would almost be non existent.  And whenever you were happy, you had full control over your powers.

While you were in your room, you hear something.  It was very loud and something that you had never heard before.  It was a voice.  Female and high pitched.  But then moments after, you hear a deep, vulgar grunt, belonging to a man.  And you had no clue who or where they were coming from.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?  Where is the noise coming from?” you asked.

“It is coming from the living room, two floors up,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced.

So you set off on your mission, finding out what the Hell that noise was.  And why you could hear it when you were two floors above.

As you were walking down the hallway to the elevator, your mind started creating all sorts of possibilities for what the noises could be.  At first, you thought someone came home from their mission early, but then you realized that the only person coming back soon was Bucky.  

He was off on a solo mission in Montauk.  You and him are close friends, and you really wanted to make him like you.  You had an insane, big crush on him.  Everything about him was just perfect, from his scars to his eyes.  But making him like you would just ruin everything, so hopefully in the future, he would confess.  

But you just talked to him this morning.  You were on the phone and he was updating you on his mission.  He said he would be back tomorrow, so there was no way those noises were from him.

As you were going up in the elevator, the slow calming melody playing in the background, your mind floated to the possibility that the Compound had been ambushed.  Maybe by H.Y.D.R.A. agents or maybe Crossbones.  But then as soon as that thought came into your head, it vanished.  You realized that there was no way that could have happened because with Tony’s new alarm system, the Compound would have gone into a full on lock down.  Sirens would have been going off, windows would have been blocking out sunlight with steel barriers and F.R.I.D.A.Y. would have been notifying you about who entered.  Not to mention Steve and Natasha would have barged into your room.

That's it.  Steve and Natasha.  The elevator door slides open and you went down another corridor to the huge living room.

Then you tried to think why Steve and Natasha would be making noise.  Your first thought they were training, not hard to break a table, but hard enough to leave a mark.  But then you realized the gym was on the exact same floor.  You thought maybe they were arguing, but you would have heard them shouting.  Surprisingly, they can be loud when they want to be, especially on game night.  You thought they might have been laughing or play-fighting or something like that, but as you rounded the corner, into the living room, you had a totally different picture being presented to you.

You found Natasha lying face down on the couch.  Her face was covered in beads of sweat and her eyes were not even visible.  Only white was showing from between her eyelids.  Her lips were spread apart and tiny trails of tears, made more visible by mascara, covered her cheeks and disappeared into the cushions of the couch.  And then you saw that she was naked.  Completely, fully, unashamedly nude.  Thankfully, you could only see her head since the couch was covering everything.

And Steve.  Captain America.  The innocent man from the 1940’s.  That pure side was wiped from your mind as soon as you saw him.  You could only see the top half of his body, and you were slightly embarrassed to see that the man was ripped.  Like shredded.  His hair was slightly messed up, a lot less than Natasha.  His eyes were closed and his face was as red as a strawberry.  His pecs and abs were clenching as he was moving, beads of sweat following with his movements.  

“Nat, Nat… I’m gonna.. I’m gonna,” Steve groaned, still thrusting, moving the couch with each thrust.  His jaw was clenching and his biceps were tightening.  You then knew what was going on.

“Oh shit,” you muttered.

“Do it Steve, ahhh,” Natasha moaned.  Her moans grew louder and louder, along with Steve's grunts and groans.  Then, when you thought it was all over, it wasn’t.

“Another round?” Natasha asked.

“Sure,” Steve smirked.  

And then, before you could see, they got into another position.  Thankfully, you hid behind the corner leading to the living room so you couldn’t see anymore.  

Right now, you had no clue how to react.  You didn’t know if you should be embarrassed because you just caught your two coworkers in the act, your two friends fucking the shit outta each other.  You didn’t know if you should laugh, because it was kinda funny, catching the two like this.  This was something you could tell Tony, Sam and Bucky and they would make fun of Steve till he dies.  But then, you thought to not tell anyone because this was super private, but you were here so not really.  

Your thoughts were cut off by another long moan by Natasha.  And then a long groan by Steve.

And as you were hiding behind the wall, your embarrassment floated away like a cloud.  You felt turned on for some reason.  It was a very hot and steamy moment.  You wished that you felt all the emotions that Natasha was feeling.  The pleasure that she was experiencing.  The sounds that she was making sounded dirty.  

A light bulb went off in your head.  You realized you could feel how Natasha felt, because you had superpowers.  How lucky you were.  

You closed your eyes and imagined Natasha.  You felt yourself emerging with her body.  Luckily, your powers were so strong that the person you choose doesn’t know you are using your powers.  So Natasha had no clue you could feel everything.  

After a few moments, you felt something in between your legs.  It wasn’t something normal.  It was big.  And then your face went red.  You realized it was Steve’s dick.

You never had feelings for Steve, you just saw him as a good friend.  But he was pretty big.  He might be the perfect fit for Natasha, but not exactly for you.  He was a little small, only a little bit.  But you were a virgin so you didn’t know exactly what to expect.  But after a few thrusts, way too fast for you, you got used to the speed and started to enjoy.    

You leaned against the wall and spread your legs.  Your eyes shut and you had to bite your lip to stifle a moan.  You could feel yourself clenching around something that wasn’t really there and the wetness in your panties.  Steve’s vein on the underside of his cock was twitching, and you suddenly knew what was about to happen.  All the sudden you were clenching harder than before, but it wasn’t from you.  It was from Natasha’s body.  

Louder and louder moans for the other room signaled what was going down.  You were going to have your first orgasm.  

Your legs began to shake uncontrollably and you could feel Steve’s dick which was starting to become erratic in thrusts.  They were becoming out of place and non consistent.  And you realized he was going to cum.  

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Natasha and Steve’s moaning was helping a little bit.  It was hiding the fact that you too were moaning.  Your thoughts began racing as you felt the rush.  Your world turned black and white and you could hardly see straight, not when it felt like Steve was cumming inside you.  You had never felt like this before and it was all too much to bear.  Before you could get your mind out of Natasha's body, you fell to the floor, your orgasm taking the front wheel.  

~~~

You woke up slowly as the world around you started to materialize once again.  Your vision returned and you realized you were in the medical wing, in one of the beds.  You heard the beeps of a heart monitor playing in the background.  You saw that you were only wearing a thin medical robe, with no clothes or undergarments underneath.  

“Weird,” you thought.

You also saw the line of an IV attached to your forearm, meeting up with veins and arteries.  Your body was being very slow and didn’t want to move, so you took your time and slowly sat up on the bed.

“You're finally awake,” a voice said.

You turned to your left and saw Bucky sitting on an armchair, probably watching you to make sure you were ok.

“Bucky?  How long was I out for?” you asked.

“About 12 hours.”  Bucky responded.  

“Why am I here?  Did something happen?” you asked again, stretching your arms in the arm and then cracking your knuckles.

“Well doll, that's what I was gonna ask you.  Steve and Natasha were acting weird when I showed up.  Steve looked like a tomato and Natasha barely said a word.” Bucky said.

“The last thing I remember was that I was in my room and then I heard noises from the living room so I went to check it out.  And then I rounded the corner and-” you started, but then you remembered what you saw.  You couldn’t tell Bucky, that would end up bad.  You were also still horny from watching Steve and Natasha, so you had an idea.

As soon as you finished talking, you grabbed your head in pain, which caused Bucky to panic.

“Oh my god!  Are you ok?” Bucky shouted, completely worried.

Your hands were covering your eyes, but not the devilish smirk on your face.  Bucky was leaning close to you to make sure you were fine, but you leaned in even closer and placed your finger on his lips and shushed him.  Bucky’s cheeks flushed red, utterly confused at your sudden action.

“No need to panic.  I’m fine,” you reassured him.  Your voice was lowered and filled with lust and need, but Bucky wasn’t catching on yet.  You had to work a few more tricks to get to him.

“R-right,” he stuttered as you got up from the bed.  “I still think you need to rest, doll.  I’ll get you anything if you need it.”  

“That’s sweet of you,” you smiled, putting your hands behind your back to take off the medical dress.  “But I should get my body moving.”

In less than a few seconds, the thin dress had fallen to the floor.  You were completely naked in front of Bucky.  You were smirking and spinning in front of him, and he had no clue how to react.  He hadn’t been intimate with a girl since the forties, so he was out of his ballgame right now.  His face was flushed red and his eyes bulged open.

“Holy shit!  You are naked!!  Are you sure you're ok?” Bucky shrieked, putting his hands over his eyes.

“I'm just making sure there’s nothing else hooked up to my body.” you said, grinning and moving your hands up and down.  “It would be nice if I could get a second pair of eyes to check me out.  Don’t be shy.  Is there anything else I missed?”

You kept jutting your hips out and twirling your hair, and Bucky slowly put his hands down.  His cheeks were still red, but his eyes were a tiny bit darker than they were before, letting you know you were getting to him, and making you a bit more confident.

“No…” he said slowly.  “Nothing at all.”  He said the last part with a deeper tone, graveling at the last word, making you hotter all over.

“I’m all set then.  Thanks for the help.  I should be-” you said, trying to brush past him, but you fell right into his buff torso.

“Ok, doll.  That’s it.  You are still a bit messed up and not fine.  You are not leaving this goddamn room.”  Bucky said, still confused.

“I do feel a bit weak below the hips,” you sighed against his chest.  “But I think I should still try to move around.  I’ll stay if you help me out.”

“Of course, doll.” Bucky said.  “Anything you need.”

“Great,” you said, biting your lip.  “Then I need you to help me with an ache that I need a hand with.”  

You took his metal hand and traced it down your body until it got to your clit.  You slowly moved his hand back and forth, moving your wetness around his fingers.  Shock was written all over the Winter Soldier’s face.

“I’ll stay if you massage it for me,” you said, wetting your lips.

“What the hell?” Bucky said as he realised what you were doing with his hand.

“I mean, it’s up to you Buck,” you said as you took the glove off his right hand and placed it on your breast.  “Personally, I have wanted you like this for a very, very, long time.” you stressed the word “very.”

“To feel your metal arm ravage my pussy.  Only from fingering it.” you continued.

You moved closer to his lips until you could feel his minty breath fanning against your face.

“I’m done with hiding my desires.  I want you, really bad.  If you want me, then take me away.” you confessed, moaning at certain parts to make you point crystal clear.

Before you realized it happened, Bucky closed the gap in between the two of you and kissed you.  He stressed how much he needed you as well because as he kissed you, he started squeezing your tit and rubbing his cold metal fingers against your clit.  It all felt heavenly to you, but there was more you wanted him to do to you.

You kept making out for a few minutes and you moved your hand to his dick, feeling the growing hard forming in between his muscular thighs.  You didn't want the make out sesh to end, but you were both running out of air.  When you parted, you could sense the change in the room.  The air felt heavy and hot.  And Bucky looked different too.  His eyes darkened and he looked turned on and like he wanted to turn you into his babygirl.

“Seems like we are on the same page now, Buck,” you said, breaking the silence.  

“But, you are way too overdressed.  You better change that.” you continued, pulling on the collar of his leather jacket.

“Otherwise,” you sighed, leaning over the bed.  “Our bodies aren’t going to be properly introduced.” Bucky looked down and saw your ass angled up in the perfect way, so that he could also see your pussy.  He parted his pink lips and smirked.  He practically ripped his clothes on the floor and he looked so sexy, words can’t even describe it.

“Ooo,” Bucky moaned.  “I hate this suit on me.  It’s so tight on me when I just wanna destroy your body.”

Bucky took a deep breath before he continued, taking in your appearance from behind.

“So ready for a nice, deep, rough pounding?  I hope you can take it,” Bucky smirked, waiting for you to turn around, waiting for your reaction to his incredible, out of this world size.

You turned your head to the side, and your jaw dropped.  He was big, probably bigger than Steve, and that was saying something.  He was as hard as a rock, and the vein on the underside of his cock was so visible.

Bucky started walking over to you, ready to put his dick inside you, but you needed some preparation first.  

“Uh Bucky, I might have dropped the gun a little too fast,” you giggled, slightly embarrassed.  “I’m going to need more time with Bucky before I meet the soldier, if you get what I mean.”  

Bucky let out a dark chuckle before he started talking, a dark chuckle that sent shivers down your spine.  

“Oh, I understand, doll.  You want some preparation down there.” Bucky grinned.

He leaned down lower and lower until he reached your core, which was throbbing with need and desire.  He licked his lips and rubbed his metal fingers around your growing ache.  And then, he delivered one, long lick along your core.  He was licking and sucking and making you feel things you never felt before.  And the way his light scruff was rubbing against your inner thighs was making everything 10 times better.

“Holy shit Buck,” you moaned.  “Just like that.  Just like that.  Don’t stop, don’t stop.”

You felt him grin against your ache and he did what you asked, satisfying your needs and desires in the best way possible.  Your moans filled the room, telling him “Right there,” “You feel so good” and tons of other things that made Bucky get harder by the minute.  After a few moments, you felt the familiar feeling of your legs shaking and the wetness seeping out of your core.  Your orgasm was approaching, and fast.  Your moans got louder and echoed around the room.

“Fuck Bucky!” you screamed.  “Make me cum harder!”

He did so for a little bit longer before his lips felt your pussy. 

“No Buck, don’t stop,” you moaned softly.

“Oh doll,” Bucky groaned, wiping his mouth with his right arm.  “I’m not done with you yet.  I was just getting a taste.  Besides, eating you was only the appetiser, it wasn’t deep enough.  There are other ways to get deeper and hear you scream.”

“Oh right,” you giggled, not changing your position.  You heard Bucky stand up and you felt his tip brushing up against your entrance.

“Just be gentle,” you warned him.

“Now you want me to play nice?” Bucky teased.  “Don’t worry I wont hurt you.  Yet.”

He pushed his tip against you, and you could feel it starting to stretch your entrance.  And then, he slowly and carefully eased his way inside you.  He was only halfway in before you started to feel it. 

“Wow doll, you squeeze me so tight,” Bucky sighed, grabbing your hips and slowly thrusting into you, not seeing the look on your face.  Your eyes were rolling into the back of your head and your tongue was out of your mouth.  

“It’s like you were made for me,” he said, right as he brushed up on your g-spot.

Your face was straining with pain, and uncomfortable pain.  You didn’t want to tell him to stop because you had wanted this for a long time.  And you knew you would get used to it, you would just have to wait.

“It just sucks me right back in,” Bucky groaned, looking down at where you were connected.  Your pussy was just sucking him back in like a vacuum cleaner.  Your fists were clenched and hitting the bed, and Bucky started to take note.

“Doll, are you ok?  I can’t go any slower without stopping,” Bucky said, getting worried.

“Hrmmm,” you said, not trying to make a big deal.

But in one swift motion, Bucky took himself out of you, and you let out a sigh of relief.  Then, he picked you up and weirdly gave you a hug.

“It’s ok doll,” Bucky said, wrapping his arms around you.  “I have wanted this for a long time too.

“But if that position doesn’t work for you, we can try a few others,” Bucky added, his voice deepened.

He pushed you back onto the bed, and aligned himself back up with you.  He took your legs and made them wrap around his waist and finally pushed himself into you, a lot harder than before.  He thought that maybe starting out slow wouldn’t be the right way to start, so if he started out rough and fast, you would get adjusted quicker.

And he was completely right.  As he was pounding into you, he leaned to your face and kissed you, and you were moaning into his mouth.  He kept going, skin slapping against skin.  It was a sight too sinful to even exist.

He didn’t stop his speed for quite a while, maybe 15 minutes.  And then you could feel his movements become irregular, his thrusts not in perfect rhythm.  He was pushing his lips against yours harder and harder.  His cock was twitching inside you and you could feel the vein on the underside twitching as well.  He was gonna cum.  You started moaning louder and louder, feeling your own buildup.  And then you felt it.  His white rope spilled inside of you, and it felt amazing.

You both took deep breaths before Bucky took himself out of you once again and settled on the other side of the bed.

“That… was… amazing.” Bucky sighed, taking deep breaths in between.

“I hope that’s not all you got, Sarge,” you said.  “Because you look like you have more in you.”

“Of course I’m not done doll.  I am the Winter Soldier after all.”  Bucky said as you were settling into his lap.  “I don’t stop until I finish my mission.  I just thought you were done from the way your nails were digging into me.”

“Don’t you dare take your dick out of me until I beg you to stop,” you said, preparing for the endless rounds approaching.

It took awhile for your body to surrender to the Winter Soldier.  Bucky didn’t let up on his speed.  He was pounding into you the whole time.  You rode on his lap.  He stood up and pushed you against the window and pounded into you, doggy style.  You could tell that was his favorite because he was riding into you like that for most of the time until you both ended up back on the bed again.

You were lying, back on the bed, while Bucky was pounding into you again.

“Arrghh,” Bucky groaned, having another orgasm. 

“Wanna go for another round?” he asked once you, staring into your soul.  But your body was worn out and you were in a daze, one that would take you a while to break out of.   Bucky chuckled and took himself out of you.

“Well doll, I had fun,” Bucky said, cleaning himself up and putting his clothes on.  “Whenever you are up for more, just knock on my door.  You know where to find me.  I’ll be more than happy if you do so.  I got to go or else the team is going to get worried about what happened to me, so if you need help cleaning up, speak up now or forever hold your peace.”

There was silence for a few more seconds and Bucky finished getting ready to leave.

“Love ya doll,” Bucky said, placing a kiss on your forehead and leaving the door.