#but fuck i had a heart attack thinking 'oh blue must be going to get gouki'

[mo-ok]

For one absolutely terrifying second there I thought they were gonna time skip cop-ify Gouki and i almost bit my own hands off

[deadsetobsessions]

“I ate paint once,” Danny nonchalantly threw out in the middle of game night.

The entire table stopped. Heads whipped towards Danny.

“Yeah, me too. Cardamom yellow was my favorite. Ugly as hell but the chemicals just tasted right.” Tim replied, using the distraction to nab some of Bruce’s money. Monopoly money, that is. Everyone’s heads snapped towards Tim, only Cass and Danny (who was part of the scheme) caught him cheating.

“Really? I think mine was those spray can blue cosmos paint. But that might have been more my thing for space than the actual taste.”

“WHY WERE YOU EATING PAINT?!” Dick asked, looking like he wanted to lunge over the table and shake Danny until he puked out paint. Bruce looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

“Yeah, what the fuck, Tim?” Jason snickered.

“In my defense,” Danny grinned. “I was left unsupervised. Also, Steph, you owe me $24 in rent.”

“Ugh! I’m almost out of money! Can’t you loan me some, Alfred?”

“I am sorry, Miss Stephanie, you are not qualified for another loan. In fact, one of your properties is about to be confiscated as per the collateral agreement.”

“Noooo!” Stephanie made dramatic dying noises.

“What was your excuse, Timothy?” Damian asked, eyes glued to the board and determined to win the game.

“Hey, I was probably less supervised than Danny was.”

“Yeah,” Danny perked up. “My parents brought us down to their lab all of the time. Taught us a lot of stuff.”

“Really? Like what?” Duke asked, casually slapping away Tim’s sneaky hands.

“Oh, like what a rocket launcher sounded like up close! And how to build a laser gun! Oh! And what human organs looked like when they’re fresh!” Danny chirped, collecting his money from a stunned Stephanie’s hands. He looked up.

“Oh, don’t worry! I at least learned what not to do when it comes to lab safety. And we wore hazmat suits to protect ourselves from the radiation.” Danny smiled in a ditzy fashion as the table fell silent in a horrified manner. Cass tapped his arm amusedly, but allowed his bullshit to stand. After all, it’s not like he lied.

“Radiation?” Duck’s voice raised a couple of octaves. Oh yeah, Danny’s going to laugh about that pitch for a long while.

“Organs?!” Jason’s hands closed around the plastic house he was holding rather forcefully.

“Do you even know what basic lab safety practices are, Danny?” Damian demanded, finally looking up with brows furrowed. He rolled the dice and grabbed a mystery card. He gets $100 from Alfred.

“How old were you??” Duke asked.

“Like… 8, when they first brought me in?”

“Eight.” Bruce rumbled, slipping into a more Batman like persona. When Danny sent him a confused look, Bruce straightened back into his Bruce persona. “Wow, they must have trusted you a lot!”

“Sure?”

“What were their names again?” Stephanie asked sweetly, Cass nodding at him.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton.” Not that they’ll find them here, considering his parents are dead and in another universe.

“Cool, cool, cool!” Stephanie blinked, beaming as her hands formed lethal fists underneath the table.

Danny blinked and tilted his head in an unassuming way, pretending like he had no idea what Stephanie was thinking of. He sneakily handed over $600 to Cass in order to complete his monopoly on his side of the board.

Danny stood up and spread his hands out, one hand clutching his new found victory.

"Well, lady and gents, you've all been floundering against the inevitable tide of capitalism. I am here, as a reminder that you can never win against the hopelessness that will be your financial ruin! I, Danny Fenton, have obtained a quarter of the board and therefore have won against even your best efforts!" He cackled, holding up his fan of properties triumphantly. He shot a mischievous grin at Cass, who held up a solemn thumbs up in support for his monetary takeover.

"... Danny, are you... planning on a career in villainy?" Bruce asked, after a brief and total wave of shocked silence. Damian looked like he was having a conniption at having been bested, unknowingly. Yeah, Danny was disarming like that.

"Yeah, that was concerning." Tim piped up, nabbing a ten from a shell-shocked Damian.

"Hey! The Riddler gives surprisingly good monologues! And he's really loud, so it's hard not to pick up on things. Duke, your turn." Danny sat back down, pouting. The villainy comment was a little too close to his fears.

"Damn it." Duke, who had rolled, landed smack middle of Danny's territory. He handed over a sheaf of bills to a grinning Danny.

"Wait a minute! You have cheated!" Damian bolted upwards from his seat, finally done running through the purchases he remembered Danny making. "You acquired that property not within the games' rules!"

"Okay, first of all, the rule book is a suggestion, like lab safety rules," Danny saw the others open their mouths to protest, but he quickly shut it down. "Second, there's totally no rules about selling and buying places from a private owner so suck on it. And thirdly? Cass sold it to me, so you all can take it up with her."

"Diabolical!" Damian muttered indignantly.

"... Dammit." Dick sighed, falling back into the chair and balancing on its two legs. He couldn't say anything, considering his current of bankruptcy.

"Danny. Danny, I'll buy a property from you." Jason said, eyeing one of Danny's other properties near his own cluster.

"What do you have that would interest me?" Danny asked, falling back into his Vlad-like imitation.

"Ew, don't do that," Steph reached over to jab him in the arm.

"Yeah, Jason, what do you have?" Duke said, the lovely subtle instigator that he is.

"Red Hood's signature."

The others blue-screen, gaping at the actual audacity Jason had to offer up something that would take him no effort. Danny, prepared with a poker face that came with lying straight to Jazz's ever perceptive eyes about whether he nabbed the last of her ice cream or not, was prepared.

"Red Hood? The condom guy working out of the... um. Upper East Side?" Danny asked, pretending to hesitate. He knows where Jason operated. That doesn't mean he couldn't simply pretend otherwise. For science, of course.

...

...

...

The table howled with laughter, Jason's indignant spluttering unable to say anything against Danny's wide eyed look of innocence. Cass leaned against the table, chuckles falling out of her mouth and eyes crinkled in mirth. Dick had fallen out of his chair, helplessly wheezing on the floor. Duke is hiding his face in his hands, mirroring Bruce's pose as they both shake from silent laughter. Damian is smirking, wicked and sharp as he smugly stared at Jason. Stephanie and Tim are leaning against each other, repeating "the CONDOM GUY" in alternating and increasingly louder voices. Alfred had a smile on his face and a tight grip on the bills in front of him that betrayed his amusement.

"He's a crime lord!" Jason exclaimed, indignant.

"Uh, okay. Well, I mean, why would I want a crime lord's signature? I don't want to be on his radar. Or echolocation or whatever. He's... a Bat, right? That's what you guys call that group, yeah?"

"How do you know the Rogues better than the vigilantes?!" Jason glared at his unhelpful family. Those assholes better prepare for a load of rubber bullets the next time they're on patrol near Crime Alley.

"Hey, it's not my fault the vigilantes here are unsociable. Maybe if they monologued more, I'd know who they are."

"Wouldn't- wouldn't that make them more villain like?" Tim asked, stuttering from his laughter.

"I dunno?" Danny replied, enjoying his the family's unabashed joy. "I mean, they're pretty legit and they help people already so I guess they don't need to be sociable... but still I swear I haven't heard anything about Batman other than that he grunts and is mean towards criminals."

Is mean towards criminals, Duke mouthed at a recovering Dick who was in the process of heaving himself back up. It sent him careening back down to the floor with restrained giggles. Cass tapped Danny, reminding him to eat some food.

"Tt. Of course not. They're efficient at their jobs and have no need to be seen as welcoming to criminals." Damian puffed up.

"Yeah, but they've gotta feel safe, right?" Danny shrugged as he plucked a cookie from the cookie platter. "The... one with the sword, what was it?"

"Robin." Damian supplied, eyes narrowed and trained on him.

"Yeah, the baby bird. The kids think his swords are cool so they trust him. But like, the others? The flippy blue one? Not so much."

"Wait," Dick said from the floor. "They don't trust Nightwing?"

"Nah, they trust him to protect them, but he has a history of bringing the kids to the police, you know?"

"What's wrong with that?"

Danny shrugged. "ACAB. But also because everybody knows that half the guys in the GCPD and CPS are child traffickers."

"Wait, what?" Jason and Tim straightened.

Bruce piped in, the emotional whiplash of amusement to concern to amusement to concern visibly making itself known on the man's baffled face. "I thought Batman and Commissioner Gordon took care of that?"

"Sure, the obvious ones." Danny hesitated. Well, he's pretty sure they think he's a meta so... "There's... a meta trafficking ring that they're a part of. That's. That's kind of what I was running from."

Danny looked up pleadingly. Cass placed a hand on his arm in comfort, not knowing that he was fibbing about running from them.

Danny was on the streets helping his own Alley metas to run from them.

Danny is as feral as she was, and that meant he could hide just as much as she could read off of him. Cass was the best and he felt kind of bad about lying to her, successfully or not.

"Uh. Some people said you know Batman, Bruce. I know- uh, that might not be the case but if you do, could you ask him to look into it?" Danny made his eyes tear up. "And maybe he wouldn't care about me much, I mean, I know he doesn't really like metas but if he helps out, I could totally like, leave the city once the kids are safe, promise."

Ooh, Danny put a little too much sincerity into that. He could practically hear the hearts breaking in the game room as everyone glared at Bruce.

"You won't have to leave."

"... Promise?" And Danny's voice was a little too desperate, too hopeful, because Bruce's eyes tugged down in sadness.

"Promise." He rumbled, all Bruce Wayne and all Batman. Danny's core warmed. Danny also saw the rest of the family's faces darken in pure agreement. And partial wrath.

"Yeah! We'll kick Batman's ass if he even thought about kicking you out!" Stephanie proclaimed.

"He's far more proficient in combat than you are, Brown." Damian immediately leapt to Batman's defense and that was that.

Well, later, as Danny was "sleeping" and Phantom was hovering in the cave, invisible and intangible, he got confirmation that his Alley meta kids were going to be safe, soon.

After all, the entire Batclan was suiting up and baying for blood, with Oracle's all encompassing presence behind them, fingers reaching for their enemies' weak points.

[idanceuntilidie]

I have no idea- I was thinking about this yesterday and today in the end I wrote it

chaos chaos enjoy and Im gonna go shower and mir mir don’t commit crimes when Im gone

Tw: slightly suggestive themes, yandere behaviour

Yandere classmate x male reader

Requests are open.

You know where to find me And I know where to look

They boy hummed, his fingers gently playing with your hair. It felt like the finest silk; just like he imagined. A small smile appears on his face,

You were so blissfully unaware, sleeping like a baby and missing out on lectures again.

He twirled the lock of your hair before cutting it off. His smile widened, admiring it, another part of you that he can add to his collection. 

He never thought that he could find a boy attractive, but here you were, blissfully unaware of him watching your every step.

You stole his heart, ripped it out of his chest. Still beating, for you.

He laid his head next to yours, and closed his eyes. Your scent enveloping his senses as he slowly drifted to sleep. 

The bell rang.

You sit up, mind still half awake, you stretch. 

Your eyes widen as you realize the class is already empty. You quickly stand up, swaying a bit due to not being fully awake. Wiping off the droll, you pack your things, you hear a soft click and when you look up you see one of the most popular boys standing in front of you, phone in hand and smiling. His pale blue eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Hi hun! Look how cute you look in this photo!”

He chirped, waving the phone in front of you.

He fucking took a photo of you.

„Celeste delete it!” You desperately lunged at him to get his phone, you failed. He stumbled back and thanks to stupid luck he dodged your attack.

Celeste giggled like a child, correcting his sweater.

“Celeste I beg you! Fucking delete the photo” you begged, eyes glossing over.

“Only if you give me a biiiig kiss” he clapped his hands.

Your face twisted into a grimace, you tried to see if the two of his friends came with him to record this. You couldn’t really see them, but it didn’t mean that they couldn’t be here.

“.. Go fuck yourself.”

You grabbed your bag and rushed out of the classroom.

Celeste huffed as he watched you run out of the classroom.

He sat on the nearby desk, unlocking his phone.

Celeste scrolled through the new photos of you. His pale face dusting with pink, a shy smile formed on his lips. Too easy. He added the photos to his wide collection.

Scrolling through the photos, his smile widens. Some of them are blurry but Celeste doesn’t mind, every photo he takes of you is perfect in every aspect.

He sighs, he wanted that kiss. He bought the cherry flavored chapstick for nothing.

You walked through the halls and checked your bag. Few things were missing from your bag, you must have forgotten them somewhere.

You lost too much of your stuff already, you can’t believe you started being so forgetful.

At least Celeste didn’t follow you.

Finally you found a safe corner and sat down. 

Running your hand through your hair you notice some of it is shorter than the rest.

You curse under your breath. Goddamn it, you feel like you are in elementary school all over again.

“Y/N?”

“Marceline oh my God thank Gods you are here I-“

„Listen, we can’t be friends anymore.” she interrupts you.

You look at her in disbelief. She didn’t even look at you, she played with her fingers. Her back hair covered her face and you couldn’t make out the expression.

Your mouth opened, to say something, anything but nothing came out. You felt hurt, betrayed. Marceline didn’t budge for a bit, you could feel her stare on you. Unfocused, hot and burning.

You felt dizzy, this was too much.

Marceline, seeing you had nothing to say, muttered a small apology and walked away.

You didn’t even have the energy to go and run after her.

You felt tears build up. You sniffed and hid your face in your arms.

Celeste grabbed Marceline's hand, she looked at him with pure hatred.

“He is crying because of you”

“Hm, no, he is crying because of you, because you wanted to save your ass” he says, giving him a painfully obvious fake smile.

Marceline felt her blood boil. She roughly pulled her hand away and before storming off he heard her yell insults at him.

Celeste smiled and waved at her, he pulled out his phone and stopped the recording. He will edit it later, it could be useful.

He slowly walked to you, you were crying eh? Man, he needs to take some photos! And God, if he could find your used tissues. Celeste felt his face get hot at the mere thought.

When he finally reached you, he thanked whatever was out there. That you didn’t notice him.

You were such a mess, sitting on the floor sobbing. It was all thanks to him, he smiled widely. His breath had gotten heavy, he rubbed his thighs together and took out his phone. Time for a few new photos.

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Ghosts and Monsters

Author: WhiskyBoys

Artist: Squirrelofcelestialintent

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean/Cas, minor Sam/Jess, mention of past Dean/Crowley and past Cas/others.

Length: 32000

Warnings: No major archive warnings apply

Tags: A/B/O, alpha Cas/omega Dean, cop Cas, hurt Dean, protective Cas and Sam, Mary and John’s A+ parenting, mentions of past bullying and violence.

Posting Date: November 3, 2023

Summary: Thanks to his asshole ex-boyfriend, Dean is homeless, unemployed, and in deep shit with his ex’s loan shark. Just when it seems like things can’t get any worse they do. His dad has a heart-attack. Sam begs him to come home and this time Dean can’t say no. He hasn’t been back to his hometown since he was a scared and desperate seventeen year old and the prospect of returning over a decade later is still terrifying.  The town of Grace has seen a lot of changes since Dean ran away, but one thing that apparently hasn’t changed is how stupidly in love Dean is with his childhood best friend, Cas.  The question is, can Dean heal the old wounds that haunt him. And is he willing to let Cas help him this time around?

Excerpt: Of course, of all the people to find him out here it had to be a goddamn cop. Dean’s dumb fucking luck.  Exhausted as he is, Dean pushes himself upright, muscles tensing for a fight. One that he’s in no shape for. A running mantra of ‘I should never have come back’ loops continuously through his head.  “I can’t believe it’s really you.” The man’s voice, deep and low, softens even further. “Of course, you must be here to see your father.” Dean drags his attention from the pressed navy shirt, the gold badge, the holstered gun, to the cop’s face. It takes a moment for the cogs in his syrup-slow brain to click and whirr and make the connections, then he finally realises who’s standing in front of him.  A wave of emotions crashes into him. Tumultuous and devastating. He sways on his feet.  There’s no way. No fucking way. He wouldn’t have. Not after everything that happened. Unconsciously, Dean hugs his arms around his ribs and defiantly juts his chin upwards. “Castiel Novak.” Cas smiles, stiffly, unsure. “It’s a long time since you called me Castiel.” “It’s a long time since we’ve seen each other,” Dean points out, ensuring not a hint of friendliness enters his voice even though the frostiness in his tone plunges shards of glass into his own heart. Cas’ tense smiles strains even further, uncertainty wrinkling between his eyes. Still deeply blue. Still pretty. “That's true. Too long, Dean. I’ve missed you. Everyone has. Sam. Your parents.” Dean snorts. “Yeah, I don’t think so.” “Dean…” Dean isn’t sure what Cas is about to say, something patronising or pitying no doubt, something he refuses to listen to. “I need to go,” he says, cutting him off sharply. “Oh. Of course. Your dad. He’s doing well, I hear. He’ll be thrilled to see you.” “Hopefully not too thrilled under the circumstances,” Dean can’t help saying wryly. “Wouldn’t want to give him another heart attack.” He would laugh at the resultant flustered expression on Cas’ face if he was currently capable of feeling any emotion beneath his brittle shell of shock.  Shock and betrayal.  He moves to leave on feet that seem to be mired in lead. His eyes stray to the badge on Cas’ chest again before he catches himself and snaps his gaze back to the hospital door.  “Dean.” Cas reaches out as Dean edges past him. His fingers rest lightly on Dean’s forearm. “If you want to talk about your dad, or just to catch up, or…anything, you know I’m here for you.” Dean smiles, northwind-cold, eyes like ice. He pulls away from Cas’ touch. “I don’t think so, deputy.” Cas’ hand jumps to the gun at his hip as though he’s forgotten he’s wearing it. Dean catches a flash of something that looks like hurt in Cas’ eyes before he turns away. He ignores Cas calling after him on the interminable walk to the hospital entrance.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[auniverseforgotten]

Starting out with a predictable character for the ship ask: how about any and/or all of your fave Salieri ships, go buck wild, get unhinged, feed the brainrot~ uwu

-cracks knuckles- it's time....so unless i hit some kinda post limit this is all gonna be one,,,fucking enormous post so when you hit that read more I JUST WANT YOU TO BE PREPARED there are like...five ships here LMAO

FIRST UP WE HAVE Mozart/Salieri, the first big brainrot I had for them thanks ENTIRELY TO YOU WOLFIE, who showed me these two before I even played fgo and went -will smith presenting hands- and now i am the same

So generally love this ship because holy/divine and what must end the holy/divine, so in love and in hate for them that they Cannot be normal, and then when i played through Russia...when I PLAYED THROUGH RUSSIA....god you can fit so much fucking yearning in this bitch

who’s the cuddler: 

Gonna say both! Mozart very clearly enjoys attention and likes when all of it is on him. You know that bird meme, I do not like when we are not about me? yeah that's him that's Mozart who else would it be. So he's pressed up against Salieri as often as possible, which Salieri allows, but when he tries to get Spicy in public [like grabbing his ass-] he's gonna get pushed away like nope you're in timeout now.

And Salieri shocks everyone by being a cuddly, hugging person. Mozart about has a heart attack the first time it happens, he rolls up trying to be annoying like "Swee~eetiieeee~ can I have a huuu~uuuug~~" and then. Salieri hauls him in and hugs him and he blue screens. Salieri is def very touch starved, and while Mozart gets some platonic touching he kinda is too? Especially after Russia my god do not get me started on the mess these two are after Russia I have a WHOLE FIC IN THE WORK ABOUT IT IT IS 7,692 WORDS AND IT'S NOT EVEN HALF DONE HELP ME HELP ME-

Anyway if you [like I did] summon Salieri early through like Chaldea Boys and they got together pre lostbelt 1, Salieri would seem unusually affectionate because he Knows what happens, whereas Mozart is like "omg!! the affection i Deserve!! Finally!!" but then after...after Salieri seems desperately affectionate, like he's trying to hold Mozart together with touch and affection alone, and Mozart...well. That fic will be done eventually :) though I'm also not as nice in it LMAO so Mozart does NOT get what he's craving.

who makes the bed:

Salieri, I cannot stress enough how little Mozart cares about keeping spaces clean. He might? Keep his own desk clean so he knows where his compositions are, and the piano ofc is spotless, but aside from that- he would be living in garbage if Salieri didn't h a t e clutter and garbage. Called babe over for a date but now he's deepcleaning my room what do I do-

who wakes up first:

Multifacet answer. Usually Mozart, and then he'll cuddle up to Salieri and just...enjoy the softness. But also Saliei does not always go to sleep so sometimes Mozart will get up and oops babe clearly NEVER WENT TO BED time to fix that.

And then after Russia...thee are a lot more painful memories, after that. Mozart becomes the one who doesn't sleep, Salieri tries to reason, beg, bribe, coax him to sleep but...it's hard for him. The easiest way to get him to sleep is for Salieri to play the piano for him, which is actually good at helping Salieri process some of his internal shit too.

who has the weird taste in music:

Salieri has a wide musical palate but Mozart looks up the oddest word combinations he can think of to throw at Salieri. Unfortunately for Mozart this usually backfires and Salieri finds them interesting so now he has to listen to music he may or may not like-

who is more protective:

OH BOY

So everyone assumes it's Salieri, and don't get me wrong: he is MASSIVELY overprotective of Mozart. He starts out normal prior to them getting together, because he wants to kill Mozart sure but he will also kill anything that wants to kill Mozart because he fucking adores him okay? OKAY??? So riders especially, but also anyone who says something along the lines of "wow you're so annoying I wish Ritsuka would break ur contract" had better start running because he is COMING.

And then once they're together he gets. Much more protective because he is dealing with the Main in Grey but also now he isn't just Mozart he is Mozart his beloved partner. AND If we're operating in my AU w/Russia, man. MAN. HE IS. SO PROTECTIVE.

MEANWHILE Mozart is also really protective over Salieri as well. Physically he can't do much and honestly he's okay with that, he knows Salieri can handle that. But if he hears any rumor about Salieri that paints him in even a minorly negative light, he is Immediately deploying his informants [Shakespeare, child servants] to figure out who started it, who has been spreading it, and he will RAISE HELL. Also anyone who looks at their relationship and talks about the whole wanting to kill thing...that's his business, not theirs, and he'll make it known.

who sings in the shower:

Both of them, though Salieri may be a little more hesitant to do so. But Mozart can usually convince him or competition him into doing it.

who cries during movies:

I feel like I could see Salieri tearing up about movies with a protagonist who, through no fault of their own OR through their own GOOD! intentions became evil/hated because god yeah it hits too close to home, but he doesn't full on cry.

Mozart meanwhile I think he has very funny reactions to movies. Tender but cheesy 'I love you' scene in a romance? Outright cackles. Sad death? Critically analyzing it lik e"okay but could that happen I mean-"

He's fun to watch movies with if you want to hear someone tear something to shreds. The only movies he doesn't do that with are ones Salieri gets like [above] about.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Okay listen. Salieri has objectively more expensive taste and may spend more, but Mozart historically canNOT handle his money so if he goes out on his own and 'steals' Saleriei's credit card the bill will not be as big as one of Salieri's but it's still like YOU SPENT $500 ON ONE DECORATIVE PLANT?? Alsoooo if he goes shopping without Salieri he inevitably calls him like heeey babe I accidentally <3 spent $1000 <3 I need money <3 <3 and without fail Salieri will come and bail him out.

Yes some other servants joke about Mozart being his sugar baby and Mozart finds this HILARIOUS but he tells Salieri and he has a massive fucking spiral that scares the shit out of Mozart and he never repeats it again.

[The spiral is because sugaring is often cast in a more predatory/taking advantage of light, and he...cannot handle that.]

who kisses more roughly:

So I fully think it's Salieri because he is a BITEY MOTHERFUCKER however I do also think he has so much general guilt and religious shame [yoinking from raised as a christian LMAO] about things like physical affection and what is and isn't 'right' affection, so like Mozart. Has to haul it out of him. Luckily he enjoys this process very very much <3 and then once it IS out my god,,,the bitemarks,,,love is the teeth and the neck willingly given INDEED

who is more domineering:

Kinda thinking Mozart mostly because we have seen him twist situations around to solely suit himself, and I can see him doing the same here. Salieri might be Physically more domineering once it's hauled out but overall,,,Mozart.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

I will never be normal again/10

OKAY and we're at the first of the polyships, Mozart/Marie/Salieri! This one is, once again, all your fault Wolfie <3 but while I'm kinda meh about the whole "oh Marie makes Salieri docile" I also think Marie deserves a harem <3 <3 so really the ship we're DISCUSSING is this one but Marie also has d'Eon and Sanson as well, she's the center of a huge polycule do you see my vision do you understand me

ANYWAY while a lot of people in Chaldea think this is a "oh Marie and her two silly boys" or "Mozart and Salieri want to be together but have to have Marie buffer" that is not the case! They both just really deeply adore her, and Marie adores them too. My answers will prob be shorter here bcus adding Marie doesn't really change the overall dynamic a ton.

who’s the cuddler: 

Once again, all of them!! Salieri is a surprisingly huggy, touchy person, and Mozart wants all attention always. BUT Mozart does put aside literally all his selfishness for Marie, so he is a little more mellower about that in this ship. Though he does sorta get like...touchy about Salieri like why aren't you giving Maria all the attention in the world and he has to sit him down like Mozart I love you but you do not tell me how to love people

AND MARIE HERSELF. SHE LOVES EVERYONE SO MUCH ALWAYS. ALL THE HUGS ALL THE KISSES ALL THE LOVE. She is never without a person on her arm, the person just changes XD

who makes the bed:

Still Salieri, Mozart dgaf even with Marie and while I think Marie would I also...don't think she would do it Right because lbr irl Marie Antoinette was incredibly privileged and she 110% had servants for things like this and while Salieri appreciates her trying to do chores I feel like she just makes it worse on accident sdzfgh

who wakes up first:

Toss up between Salieri or Mozart, esp after Russia [AND OH MAN IS THAT HARD FOR MARIE esp if they're together before and then after...both of her partners have just irrevocably changed and no one will tell her WHY or how she can HELP], Marie is def a sleep until noon person if she manages it.

who has the weird taste in music:

Salieri still has a wide palate, Mozart still looks up what he thinks is the weirdest stuff possible, but Marie goes through so many idol phases. Like you know how a lot of pop groups will start all soft and sweet and then just. Evolve? Marie starts wanting all these soft songs so ofc they write them for her but then she'll be like "okay this week i'm bad!! >:3 fuck!!! >>:3 i'm so sorry for swearing-" and they'll switch up her idol vibe.

who is more protective:

Salieri is the most physically protective. His level of protectiveness over Mozart doesn't change, but he becomes very protective over Marie as well. After dating her he has to take time to like. Think about Sanson and rationalize that because you KILLED HER but also Marie loves him too so it takes time for him. To relax around him. But he does! He'll still throw anyone into a wall who insults either of them though.

Mozart is still fiercely protective over Salieri but also with Marie...he knows she can somewhat defend herself, but she's not as adept at it as Salieri is so he gets Physically protective over her too. Has started fights he has no hope of winning and either wakes up in the infirmary or one of Marie's other partners rolls up to back him [if it's Salieri we get a nice -gently bandaging him- "what the FUCK is your problem you can't keep DOING this-"]

AND MARIE. Marie...was a queen. Marie...knows the power that lies in words and regal bearing. Someone will call Salieri a mindless death machine, or Mozart a useless layabout, and then Marie will go and have tea with the kings and queens and mention it in the most "oh bless their hearts" way and then that person...is so unbelievably fucked.

who sings in the shower:

Marie is the most enthusiastic about it!! Since she wants to be an idol she is Always singing, and shower acoustics are scientifically proven to be so good for certain notes and when you find those notes it's very cool so she'll be singing in the shower f o r e v e r

who cries during movies:

Marie all the way she will be BAWLING in animal movies, romance, romcoms, animated movies, music movies, she is SO EMOTIONAL AND SO MOVED she loves everyone and she just has to show her emotion through TEARS

Salieri actually doesn't watch movies much with her because of it because it upsets him/the Man in Grey to the point where he wants to attack someone to make her feel better but it's not That kind of tears so he has to just not be in the situation

who spends the most while out shopping:

Salieri still spends the most in terms of Amount, though he only ever spends his own money. But given Mozart in life and. The sheer fucking excess french royalty enjoyed. Yeah he's footing the bill for both of them LMAO the sugar daddy comments do NOT stop and they really eat at him so Marie puts her foot down hard and tells anyone that if she hears them again she'll make their life a living hell and then leave like "if you tell anyone no one will ever believe yooouuu~ <3"

who kisses more roughly:

Salieri and Mozart retain their same level of roughness with each other but are all but worshipful with Marie, she is a Queen, their Queen, and they just. Can't. And honestly I don't really see Marie enjoying roughness that much?? So she's fine with it, though she makes sure to reassure them that it's valid and what they do with each other is fully okay w her, she's not Against roughness just doesn't love it herself.

who is more domineering:

Again not really Marie's thing but she also doesn't mind when her other lovers get domineering with each other. IF she was into it though she does have. Literally everyone wrapped around her fingers so <3

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

Iiii'd say about a 6.5/10? It's still a good ship but also Marie just isn't very developed? But given we do have Marie alter now I imagine I'll reconsider once she's out in NA.

AAAAND SECOND POLYSHIP, Salieri/Jalter/Dantes, which I first got into shipping when I saw this art by Sabu a while back: clicky, and they've just been marinating in my brain since?

Like it's both because I love all of them but also I think having each other...would mellow them out [but not change their characters lmao] and also avengers,,,,loving avengers,,,,gotta be my fave dynamic

who’s the cuddler: 

Here it's deeeefinitely Salieri. While Dantes is. So absolutely 100% touchstarved once he's got physical affection I'm not sure how much he vibes with it? Like at first it's like. Wow I wanted this forever...but stop touching me right now please. And he adjusts but he's still not super touchy?? At least imo. But he's 100% okay to be cuddled unless it gets to be too much, in which case he explains that and the others back off. He does enjoy throwing his arm around their shoulders or having a hand on their hip, just full on cuddles can be overwhelming.

And Jalter...Jalter is SO touch starved but she also REALLY WANTS physical affection but she cannot ask for it, she can't, ask for physical affection??? No thanks she'll go die instead. But Salieri will so easily hug her or keep an arm around her waist the whole time he's with her and she is DYING of happiness inside.

And ofc they reciprocate too

BUT ALSO it's fun to imagine the relationship as Jalter and Dantes being together already and then they're like "we like your funny music, magic musicman" and then they have this really affectionate Italian and are both just ??? !!!! about it because he is so physically affectionate when he looks like THAT [mentally death warmed over but in a crappy microwave]

ALSO HE INSISTS ON DANCING WITH THEM AFTER JALTER MENTIONS WANTING TO DANCE W RITSUKA IN SHINJUKU Jalter comes in the room and it's set up as a fucking ballroom because Salieri is so fucking extra god I love them

who makes the bed:

Salieri, Jalter and Dantes could not care less, truly. They do tend to keep things cleaner though because they can tell it's something that bothers him. Especially Dantes leaving ash everywhere my god he got some on Salieri's suit on accident once and the sheer DREAD he felt- [Salieri waved it off like it was nothing but given Salieri's general attitude that doesn't mean it's OKAY]

who wakes up first:

I'm gonna say it's usually Dantes but if Salieri stays up all night making music or dealing with the demons then it's both of them. Not sure if he'd stay in bed to cuddle or just slip away to leave Salieri and Jalter in peace and go do whatever. Making sure Ritsuka's still on the same plane of existence, probably.

Jalter sleeps in until like 5pm if you let her LMAO

who has the weird taste in music:

I feel likt Jalter, we saw her Edge in her summer berserker form, she just knows the most random bands. Salieri, like always, retains a wide music palate, and I feel like Dantes sticks to one or two favorite genres.

who is more protective:

As remains the answer for. Literally every ship I do this for. THEY ALL ARE WAHOO!! ARE WE SEEING THE PATTERN YET???

So while Salieri is seen as the most physically protective one in the above two relationships, being with two of the most Avengey Avengers definitely makes him seem. A lot more chill. He'll still fuck someone up don't get me wrong but he does come off as much more calm and reasonable.

Jalter is loudly protective and puts most of her energy into being scary af so that no one even dares Try anything with either of her partners. She would kill and die for them [and they would for her] and anyone who tests that is getting stabbed and set on fire.

BUT DANTES TOPS THEM BOTH w showing up in a servant's mindscape or cornering them in a dark alley or abandoned part of Chaldea and telling them in excruciating detail what will happen to them should they so much as make either of his partners even Slightly upset. [yes he did have a confrontation like this with Mozart because Mozart = stressed and angry Salieri but luckily Mozart being an antagonistic bitch [affectionate] by nature he just brushed it off and Salieri had a Long talk w Dantes about their whole weird besties to mortal enemies to besties dynamic]

And in battle never have them on the same team because while they will be FIERCE they will also abandon all other duties to protect each other any day of the weak.

who sings in the shower:

Salieri and Jalter, though I think Salieri is better at it than Jalter is. Dantes could never.

who cries during movies:

Jalter and she hates it and threatens her boyfriends that if they tell anyone she will Grondement du Haine them SO HARD but it's all in good fun.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Salieri all the waaaaay I can't see Dantes really spending a lot of money and while Jalter likes fancy shit she also...obviously doesn't always go for it -glances at the shinjuku dress- but Salieri my god this man can SHOP

And it's not just for himself either, he'll roll up for so many dresses for Jalter and smaller things for Dantes at first so that he can adjust to the spoiling before buying more and more. They're both a little worried about it but he's shown them the receipts and somehow he just. Has money??? Where are you getting it Salieri??? Where is the money????

[I feel like any time they're in a singularity/event/thing for long enough to get a job Salieri will just. Rayshift in and get one to alleviate the boredom LMAO so he has so much money bcus he has a million side hustles]

who kisses more roughly:

Definitely a playful competition here though while Dantes and Jalter I feel wouldn't care as much about PDA Salieri reeeeaaally does so when they're trying to get him in on the aggressive kissing they need to be in their room or no go.

who is more domineering:

Mmmm tossup between Jalter and Dantes, I just know it isn't Salieri. He's just too chill deep down when not exposed to Mozart, he just wants to fuckin live lmao

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

11/10 I will never recover from this one either

ALRIGHT NEXT UP one that my brain surprised me with but does? Seem to be something of a ship, Salieri/Hessian. Another Avenger ship why am I the way I am

ANYWAY My favorite thing about them is Lobo definitely got them together, this music man who has piano that resonates with his grief and anger rolls up and wow...this music nice...and since he and Hessian share a braincell, Hessian can't hide from Lobo the fact that he likes Salieri. So Lobo, being a good wingman, keeps dragging Hessian to Salieri LMAO and it is actually Salieri who reaches out in the end. Lobo is Pleased that the music servant belongs to his rider/pet [does this go against Lobo lore yes do I care no]

Also Salieri learns sign to communicate w Hessian bcus he LOVES HIM and it's also an IMPORTANT SKILL TO HAVE admittedly I'm not sure which they would use....Chaldea is in Antarctica,,,Hessian was German but was deployed to the US,,,,confusing to decide which! there is international sign but it's more of a pidgin sign language so yeah....hmm

who’s the cuddler: 

So I can't really see Hessian as even considering being cuddled until he is and then he's just !!!! wow this is great actually!!! He's been so focused on Lobo getting back his freedom for so long that he just...put literally every single thing aside for him. Didn't consider his own happiness or loneliness or anything, he just...wanted Lobo to be free. So now in Chaldea when Lobo is trying to encourage him to accept Anything for himself [not lobo lore compliant BUT I SAY PUBBY IS GOOD AND LOVES HIS PET], and when Hessian lets himself just. Accept affection from Salieri. He loves it. Hugging, cuddling, holding hands, hand klisses, shoulder kisses, etc just. Love.

AND SALIERI REMAINS CUDDLE CHAMPION OKAY THIS MAN IS MADE OF RAGE AND LOVE AND DAMN IT ALL HE WILL HUG PEOPLE but also once he realizes how little Hessian ever got physical affection he becomes Much more PDA accepting, since it's still 'polite' PDA. Also this man will sleep on Lobo he loves having a big ol pupper so much and Lobo loves his new pet too.

who makes the bed:

You cannot tell me Hessian doesn't rest curled up on Lobo I won't believe you so Salieri by virtue of him actually Owning a bed.

who wakes up first:

I don't...know that Hessian actually Sleeps. Like rest and recover sure but does he really need to sleep with no head and with magic that is definitely tied to Lobo? Anyway he doesn't sleep so him but also Salieri on his bad nights.

who has the weird taste in music:

Hessian loves exploring ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he is learning to live again and Salieri is so happy to encourage him and find new music for him to listen to. When he's not too murderous around Mozart he asks him for recommendations too which Mozart takes SO seriously because Salieri!! Asking him for something!!! ASKING!!!! HIM!!!!!!

Lobo will eat the stereo if it annoys him though they've lost five by now

who is more protective:

Another both option but with an added "do not fuck with Salieri or the giant fucking murder dog will come and chew your face off"

Salieri tends to be protective because I feel like Hessian and Lobo are seen as signs of misfortune and the like and he loves them both so much so um fuck off actually

Hessian is really good at noticing when Salieri is getting overwhelmed or drowning in self loathing so he is A LOT more protective during those times.

And do not...set off...the phantasmal puppy...

who sings in the shower:

I don't. Think Hessian can sing. So Salieri for that one!

who cries during movies:

Hessian [if he can't sing how can he cry IT'S ABOUT VIBES] any time it's a movie that reminds him of what Lobo has gone through or is about dog peril. He breaks.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Bold of you to assume Hessian even has any idea on shopping at all he does not give a fuck so it's Salieri again and once again spoiling with gifts!!!! But most of the gifts are for Lobo because he's A GOOD BOY

who kisses more roughly:

So Hessian is kinda out bcus he doesn't have lips but also I think this is one of the softer Salieri pairings, formed out of a ghost puppy being a wingman and a shared love for music. So it's all gentle kisses from Salieri too, just...soft...

ig Lobo's big ol wolf tongue kisses are probably aggressive but in an excited dog way not a painful way,,,

who is more domineering:

Again not super applicable here!!!

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

8/10 sweet ship to think about I enjoy it but as is clearly shown my favorite part of it is that Salieri gets An Dog

And now we have reached...the final ship that honestly came at me with a steel chair fr I did not see this one coming I made one small comment about FRIENDSHIP and then my brain went OKAY BUT WHAT ABOUT Salieri/Phantom as a ship AND HERE WE ARE

So this one...hinges a lot on opera,,,opera,,,friendship,,,but then they really are similar honestly? Salieri is an innocent monster via rumors and slander whereas Phantom is canonically an innocent monster due to him just playing a part that society assigned to him. I feel...like they could really bond over the crushing weight of what society has created them to be. And yeah I know the Phantom of the Opera is different than Salieri but the Phantom of the Opera in FATE differs from the one in the book, he's just the 'model' for it.

AND THIS ONE IS ALSO REALLY FUN BECAUSE. Due to Phantom's reputation literally EVERYONE is worried about it. Like given all they have is the og story: Phantom GROOMED someone, KIDNAPPED them, tried to keep them FOREVER, did a LOT OF MURDER etc so like. Erik is not that at all but everyone is constantly just like Salieri,,,are you sure this is a good idea,,,and Salieri is like sorry are you shittalking my partner right now? -wildfire blade held menacingly-

who’s the cuddler: 

Salieri ONCE AGAIN but this time I feel like it's a little related to Erik so used to people interpreting him as an exact copy of the Phantom of the Opera and thus he's internalized himself loving others to be evil and grotesque. It takes Salieri a lot of time and patience to gently coax Erik into accepting physical affection from him, and it starts very very small, holding hands alone, gently tucking his hair behind his ear also alone, jsut...slowly acclimating him to touch. And even then Erik. Cannot handle PDA, cannot handle feeling like people are looking at him so Salieri willingly keeps Everything to the bedroom but also makes sure people know because he loves his partner and also because cmon Erik has to get jealous af sdfgh

who makes the bed:

Salieri continues to be the Only Chore Doer and makes the bed. Tbf I feel like making the bed w/claw hands would be really hard, at least Salieri can put his away.

who wakes up first:

Bold of you to assume either of these crumbling messes sleep. If other ships gently encourage Salieri to sleep, Erik ship is just them constantly in the hell that is their minds, sleep deprived and kept awake due to nightmares. They may Occasionally sleep but it's. Really rare. The avengers are thiiiis close to staging an intervention as Salieri's eyebags become entire eyesuitcases

who has the weird taste in music:

OPERA OR...NOPERA BAYBEE there is no ROOM for any other NOISE only OPERA MAY EXIST HERE or whatever Salieri feels like playing because that will Become opera once Erik starts singing to it <3

who is more protective:

Alright so the answer as usual is both! For Salieri a lot of it is challenging people who call his relationship into question. It doesn't matter that it's usually out of concern for him, he and Erik are Fine and actually help each other cope a lot with being innocent monsters, so it drives him up the wall when people fling accusations at Erik.

BUT ERIK IS WHERE IT GETS FUN :D because like. Kinda playing off the way he has been in summer events several times now where he just...slips through cracks in reality...plays the game beyond the universe...he's very protective of Salieri on multiple levels. This can be very handy for a less "must protecc all servants" master because. They could throw Salieri into any tense situation and Phantom would follow, find out all the background info and who is doing what, and relay it all to Salieri to try and protect him.

But. Salieri tries not to get put in situations where Erik's protectiviness will Really shine through. Because while he is the model for the Phantom and not he actual Phantom, when he decides someone is an actual threat to Salieir...that's it, game over. Like they are going to fucking die as soon as he can feasibly do it. There''s no threats, no promises, you hurt or threaten Salieri to a degree Erik decides is dangerous? You're dead, do not pass go, do not collect $200. He's an assassin for a reason. Yes he has dropped a chandelier on someone before, yes they did go to couples counseling about it.

In battle though they don't really act too protective because they both know the other can handle themselves.

who sings in the shower:

Both of them, it turns into a full on opera in their quarters, sometimes servants will sit outside to listen. This is very embarrassing to Salieri.

who cries during movies:

Neither of them. While Salieri gets emotional with a certain kind of movie [mentioned,,,in one of the above ones, maybe Mozart?], he doesn't actually cry, and Erik just doesn't get moved by movies.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Salieri, I don't think Erik likes to go out much? So he'll buy fancy clothes and nice food and wonderful wine and bring it back for a nice date in <3

who kisses more roughly:

BOTH YAHOO both very possessive of each other, both really get into kissing though Salieri is bitier than Erik. But I mean Erik leaves clawmarks so <3

who is more domineering:

Switches between them tbh

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

My brain latched onto this ship yesterday and I am so fucking feral about it/10

NOW I THINK TRULY THE ONLY WAY TO END THIS. IS TO CONSIDER. What if Salieri dated all of them at once because it's HILARIOUS LMAO

Mozart and Erik would HATE each other because they both want the Most attention, Marie would remind Jalter too much of Jeanne d'Arc, Dantes would see Erik as a threat [everyone would until Salieri would sit them all down and be like YOU LISTEN OR WE'RE DONE] the onyl chill one is Hessian and Andersen hears all about all of it from Salieri and dies laughing every fucking time

They would be such a chaotic mess and the only way they would work is if Salieri had an absolute breakdown in the middle of all of it and they're all like OH GOD I HURT MY BAE so they sit down to discuss it as Adults AND EVEN THEN IT WOULD STILL BE A CLUSTERFUCK LMAO Salieri sitting there like "I know I wanted someone to love BUT THIS IS TOO MANY ALL AT ONCE" which is why i don't really ship them in a polycule this big [they'd be metamours save for the poly ships] BUT IT'S FUNNY TO THINK ABOUT THEM ALL TRYING

Holy fuck this got so long THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ASK WOLFIE I HOPE IT FEEDS YOU WELL ask meme here

[skeletonsfortea]

you said rust would be forced to cut ties with y/n but what if later along the line he bumped into them accidentally? or he spots them in the distance when he's drunk one night.

Lol, Memories by Conan Gray- I mean- here, have this scene-

It's late, and you're headed home for the night. Thank goodness, because you're exhausted. You take quick, sure steps on the path back home, when somebody pops into existence a couple feet ahead of you. Your eyes narrow, is that a Sans..? Your heart starts to beat faster, but you notice that he looks unsteady, listing from one side to the next. Is he drunk? You only know one Sans who gets this sloshed on a weeknight. You come to a halt. You could cross the road and act like you hadn't seen him. He hasn't spotted you. You can still run.

But then he turns, and you lock eyes. Suddenly, you're frozen in place. It's not as though he's gripping your soul, he doesn't even look angry, but...

"Kid?"

Your mouth feels dry. "Hi, Sans." At least he's drunk. Sometimes he's better when he's drunk. The others would come to save you if you went missing though, wouldn't they? How long would it take them to notice? You generally call Blue around noon...

"Wassup?"

Did he just ask you "what's up"? What's up is that you're about to have a fucking panic attack- "just going home."

"Oh." The silence stretches. Are you actually having awkward small talk with Sans? "It's kinda late, huh?" Yes you are. Apparently he's had way too much to drink.

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Uh. Have a nice walk?" He tries to step to the side, but ends up falling onto his face. You jolt at the yelp he lets out when he hits the ground. You aren't sure whether to laugh, help, or run.

"...are you ok?"

"Why are you still here?"

"Did you break your face?" You ask rather than answer.

"I dunno. Visions kinda spotty. Might just lie here until it clears up."

"This isn't...this is a bad neighborhood."

"Must be mine then."

You almost laugh- almost. "Do you need help?"

"Why?"

"Because I think you do."

"Probably." He says. He looks smaller somehow, as you approach to help him up. He was never all that big, but you suppose everything looks scarier if you see it as a threat. You pull him to his feet, shifting yourself to his side to keep him upright. "Why are you helping me?" He asks, echoing your own thoughts.

"Do you know where you live from here?"

"I can't see."

You look at him, wincing when you see the damage. There's a crack, starting at the tip of his nasal bone and ending at the top of his forehead. "Shit."

"What?"

"You're hurt."

"Oh."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Yeah?"

You shake your head. "Then...I guess..." you pull out your phone to search for monster clinics. "Let's go fix this."

"What?"

"Please just...don't sober up yet."

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

When Your Feelings Get Uno-Attacked 

Description: Kazuichi struggles with gender expectations and Zoey worries about being a good person as a game of Uno Attack turns into an emotional roller coaster. 

Very long (3,344 words) a piece of my selfship fic that I decided to write instead of drawing. This was fun.

Humor, pining, hurt/comfort

Closeted trans girl Kazuichi x Zoey (self insert), background ship of Gundham x (implied enby) Sonia, 

Trigger warnings: Intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts mentioned.  

I feel like I should add a disclaimer that my later teen years had me going through a bout of depression/intrusive thoughts/suicidal feelings, and this fic includes this as a conflict for Zoey. But please dont worry, irl I am no longer suicidal, and my intrusive thoughts don't come as often and are not as intense as they used to be. My life and my outlook on life is a lot better now. I use this fic in part to process how I used to feel (feelings about feelings). And I will give relevant trigger warnings at the beginning of every post.  

-- 

"Hey Gundham!" Kazuichi yelled, ready to start some shit. Gundham put down the book and glanced up at Kazuichi from his seat. "You wanna fucking go?" The mechanic huffed, trying to hype herself up. "You and me, let's-" 

Gundham stood up, his frame instantly towering over Kazuichi. 

"Meep!" And just like that, Kazuichi's fiery rage was extinguished into a panic that almost made her jump. What was she thinking doing this?! What was she thinking?! 

"Uh. U h uhj .. le-let's go - uh-"  

"Play basketball!" Zoey jumped next to Kazuichi, startling her even though Kaz knew that Zoey had been watching. She did wonder where Zoey got the basketball. It seemed appropriate though, as Zoey always seemed to wear boy's gym shorts.  

"Hmph," Gundham rolled his eyes, clearly not interested. 

"No I’m shit at sports!" Kazuichi hissed to Zoey in between clenched teeth, attempting a whisper.  

"Oh." Zoey had hoped this would help. "Then uh, maybe I'll win and get Miss Sonia's heart!" Zoey giggled at her own joke, but stopped at Kazuichi's unamused frown. She threw out a quick "sorry!"

"Then what form of battle do you propose?" Gundham asked, eyebrow raised to Kazuichi.  

Before Kazuichi could say anything, Zoey piped up. "I have another idea!"  

- 

In a short time, the three were now sitting at a table with Uno cards as Zoey explained- 

"When someone puts down THIS card, the next player has to press THIS!" She pressed the button on the Uno Attack machine. It conveniently spit out like a dozen cards at once.  

"Whoa!" Kazuichi stared in awe.  

"A beast forces us to carry a heftier burden!" Gundham exclaims. "And thus, the victim's time in the game is extended, as is the likelihood of their doom."  

Kazuichi side eyed Gundham, and then turned to Zoey. "So it's just like regular Uno, but we get a cool machine that spits cards at us? Okay! We can totally take down Gundham like this!"  

Zoey smiled back at Kaz. She wasn't sure what Kazuichi meant by this "we" business; since they werent sharing cards Zoey was just going to try to win herself. Still, it always made her happy to see her crush friend reaffirm that the two of them were a team.  

"Oo, I love this game." At the sound of another voice, Zoey's smile dropped. It was Miss Sonia, who must have snuck over when Zoey was thinking about Kazuichi. "I would love to play as well, if that's alright." Miss Sonia asked, icy blue eyes staring into Zoey. 

Zoey nearly jumped in fear (tall girly girl, way too good at hiding her emotions, no idea what her intentions are) but quickly tried to bring her smile back. Tried to at least. Kazuichi is probably happy about this, right? So Zoey should be happy for her friend. Yay, her platonic friend's crush gets to join them. And maybe after the game Miss Sonia and Kaz can run off into the sunset and have a million babies forever after or something. That didnt make Zoey sad or jealous, not at all!  

"Sure!" Zoey said, taking the deck, ready to deal out the cards. "You can sit-" She was about to invite Miss Sonia to sit next to Kazuichi somehow (even if Zoey had to switch her own seating arrangement, being the good buddy she was), but she realized that Kazuichi was no longer sitting at the table with them. 

In fact, she was in the distance, running away from the scene. 

W h a t .  

Stunned, Zoey finished with "... I ... I guess you can... take Kaz's seat?"  

Miss Sonia nodded and sat down. Zoey took a breath and dealt out the cards. She would try not to let Kazuichi's disappearance ruin Uno Attack.  

Try not to at least. 

- 

Zoey was on the verge of winning. She only had one card left! But at the same time, so did Gundham, and his turn would be before her’s, so he had a better chance.  

Still, she could get lucky. Maybe Gundham’s last card would not be playable yet?  

She emotionally prepared herself for a loss. If Gundham wins, fair enough, she would keep smiling and say “good game, you guys wanna play again?” Then, if they didn’t feel like playing again, she wouldn’t take it to heart and she would get to bring this game over to Kazuichi. She didn’t have too much invested in this win. 

The order was Miss Sonia, Gundham, and then herself. And Miss Sonia put down... a red Draw 2!  

"Im afraid the Prince of Ice must now draw 2. Hm hm!" Miss Sonia giggled.  

Zoey giggled too. She still wasnt sure if she should really be friends with Miss Sonia (per Kazuichi's insistence,) or even trust her as a good person or not, but the light mood was contagious.  

And now she realized was definitely gonna win. While Gundham drew 2 cards, Zoey could put down her last card! She kept wishing Kaz were here to see her impending victory, but also kept trying to push out that thought and just be happy, genuinely happy, in the moment. 

She was about to win. 

"Mwahahaha..." Gundham chuckled in a manner most villainous. "You think you have bested me, but it is The Sheppard of Wolves who shall taste the losing blow!" Zoey (aka "The Sheppard of Wolves") frowned in confusion. (She wasn't sure why Gundham and Miss Sonia gave her this nickname, but she liked it.) 

Gundham placed down his last card, which was another Draw 2 card. "The curse of the Dark Monarch has doubled in power and is passed to The Sheppard, who must now Draw Four. But this matters not, for with my last card down I have just emptied my hands and sealed my victory!"  

"Hurray!" Miss Sonia clapped. 

Zoey's face scrunched and she couldn’t disguise the disgust (or the whining) in her voice. "Wait -wait- you cant do that! Draw 2 cards dont stack like that! And even if they did- it's not your turn- it got missed because - The rules say that-!" 

"The commoner rules are commonly recognized as heresy- card stacking is a superior method!"  

Zoey watched in anger as Miss Sonia and Gundham celebrated Gundham's "victory". Was this a joke?! Their joy stabbed into her like she was a pincushion with a circle of sewing needles closing in on her. She stopped breathing. She could feel in the air that she was "supposed to" ignore the blatantly broken rule, congratulate Gundham and collect the remaining cards, shuffling and asking for a second round, like the polite, friendly fun person she was. 

But... she just couldn't muster that anymore. 

Everything was attacking her, and once again everyone else was having a good time while she was feeling cheated and alone...so alone....she was always so alone...she was the only one who felt like this... everyone else was having so much fun because they didn't understand...and she would always be so alo- 

And where the heck was Kazuichi?! 

In one last plea, she whined "But that's not the real rules...!"  

"In Novaselic, card stacking is the official rule." Miss Sonia stated. 

She couldn't look at anybody. She just glared into her last card, the Wild Draw 4 card that was supposed to be her win, ("The Sheppard, who must now draw four,") now felt like it was mocking her. Just like everything else. 

"Yeah, of course it is." She muttered, not bothering to mask her bitterness. "That's freaking stupid!" 

It only took her a second to snap out of it and assess the damage she dealt. Miss Sonia's face remained neutral, but her eyebrows were raised. Still, Zoey didnt need any context clues to know that was the wrong thing to say.  

"Im sorry!" Zoey exclaimed. "I shouldnt have said that- I didnt mean it! Im just-" She was trying so so hard not to cry. She really thought of herself as a good sport (at least better than Kazuichi), a good person, and here she was insulting Miss Sonia's entire country just because she lost a stupid card game! "That was stupid! Im stupid! It was a good game guys, thank you! Im sorry!"  

Zoey felt some silent awkward energy from Gundham and she heard Miss Sonia's "Wait!" and "Please!" but she couldn't stop herself from getting ready to leave. It was like she was moving too fast for her brain to hear it. Gotta get up and go, gotta get up and go, gotta get up and go, time to go... She picked up her backpack and left the Uno game and the basketball (which wasn’t her’s anyway) behind. 

But then she did hear it. Miss Sonia was going to apologize? She shouldn't just ignore that! She had already ran a few steps away, but quickly turned around.  

She saw Miss Sonia, Gundham, and now Akane and Nekomaru out of nowhere, were playing the game. They were smiling and talking. Zoey was too late now, she knew it. They were probably having so much fun, so much more fun now that the dumb spoil sport was gone. 

Dont worry guys, Im going away, maybe going away forever. Zoey put her mouth in her arm to bury the uncontrollable crying noises. She wasn’t trying to draw attention, she didn't want to look like a total baby right now. She didn’t want to act so stupid about losing at Uno.  

She almost went home, but with suicidal thoughts filling her head faster and harder than she expected, and she knew she had to go see Kazuichi right now. 

- 

Unsurprisingly, and to Zoey’s relief, Kazuichi had simply gone back to her own cabin. 

"Oh, hey." Kazuichi muttered, not even looking up from the bike engine she had buried herself in. "How was 'Uno Attack'?"  

The coldness in her love friend's voice, as well as the refusal to look her way, broke Zoey's heart. Dammit, Zoey thought she was finally finished crying and could be calm but now it was happening again. 

"Terrible!" She exclaimed. "Why did you leave mee?"  

Kazuichi turned her body to face Zoey, voice on the defense. "Yeah, well, while you guys were having fun I-" 

And then Kaz's processing delay caught up to her. Terrible? "Wait, what?" And at the sight of Zoey crying at her front door, she took off her work gloves and ran to see her. 

"I- I guess it was fun at first-!" Zoey started. "Even though I really wanted you to be there! But then Gundham kind of basically cheated and won-!"  

And she explained and over-explained and went on and on and repeated herself a bit to talk about the Great Draw 2 Controversy.  

The part that scared her the most was that she could make Kazuichi mad at her for insulting Miss Sonia in such a big way. On the walk over here, she had mentally prepared a dozen scenarios where Kazuichi expressed her absolute disgust at Zoey's actions and proclaimed that they could no longer be friends anymore if she would dare insult the princess like this. 

But at the scary part, Kazuichi just blinked. "Miss Sonia's not gonna be mad at you just cuz you insulted a card game."  

"But I insulted her entire country! I cant believe they all play the game wrong!" Agh, there she goes again! She was not helping to fight the stereotype that her country was full of xenophobes. "I mean, they all play it different! And I know there's nothing wrong with-with-" 

At this point, Zoey was crying again, and couldn't make her words make sense any more. It felt like gibberish. And Kazuichi had gotten closer to her, closer, until she wrapped her arms around Zoey in a hug. A tight, wonderful hug! Zoey sobbed but her better senses told her to try to stop, and just breathe, and bury herself in her crush's wonderful, wonderful scent. 

Downbad. Her thoughts mocked her. If this smell wasn't coming from a pretty girl that you're crushing on... Okay, yeah but shut up brain, she did NOT care right now. She needed this. For her mental health. 

"It's - It's okay." Kazuichi said, her voice shaking. "You're, um, you're okay..." Zoey could tell Kazuichi wasn't used to comforting with words, but that made her love her even more. 

"Miss Sonia's still gonna be your friend." Okay, that wasn't Zoey's biggest priority here, but she could respect why Kazuichi might think so. "Miss Sonia really...likes you..."  

There was an awkward pause before Kazuichi continued.  

"You're a nice girl, and you're caring and sweet and fun and- - and I dont think you could ruin that with a bad card game, cuz Miss Sonia... likes you..."  

Okay, Kazuichi sounded genuine and reassuring, but Zoey could also hear some jealousy slipping through this comfort. She stopped hugging and looked directly at Kazuichi. Kazuichi tried to quickly shift her face into a smile, but Zoey saw the concerned look she had before (She also saw the tears. She didn’t realize Kazuichi had been crying with her!) The frown Zoey saw for a second didn't look mad, like Zoey would have expected (and was worried about), instead she got the vibe that Kazuichi was just...insecure? 

Ohhhh. 

"You're a nice girl too!" Zoey said quickly. "You're really nice and sweet too!" 

Kazuichi blushed. She smiled for a second, but she frowned and looked at the ground. "No I'm not. I know I'm not." She said quietly. 

"Hey! No! You are! And you should have played with us! You could have shown Miss Sonia that, um-"  

"No I couldn’t!" Kazuichi sobbed. "Gundham was there!"  

Now Kazuichi was the one crying and explaining. 

"I wanted to play with you guys! But not with Gundham there too! Or maybe we could have played with Gundham without Miss– I mean –AGHH! It's not even him, it's just - I can't - this is how -!"  

Now Zoey gave Kazuichi a hug. And once again she felt Kaz's big, strong, wonderful arms wrap around her. It was so lovely. Will these hugs always feel so bittersweet?  

Will these hugs always last? With that depressing thought, Zoey figured she better savor this while she could. 

Kazuichi continued, still crying. "I hate being a boy! I can't just be friends with Miss Sonia the way you can! I can't just play a game with Miss Sonia and Gundham! I have to act like a big man against Gundham! And I'm so sick of it!" Now Zoey cried again, with Kazuichi. "It’s not like I wanted to fight him!"  

"Then why-?" Zoey stopped herself from asking the obvious. " 'M sorry." She said instead. 

"D-don't-...- you – you didn't-" Kazuichi cried. “I really didn’t mean to – to leave you!” 

Oh yeah, Kazuichi broke her promise.* Technically.

“I’m sorry!” Kazuichi yelled. 

Zoey forgave her. “It’s okay!” Zoey yelled back. 

Zoey squeezed tighter. 

Kazuichi squeezed tighter. 

They cried, and cried, and then calmed down. After some silence, they moved apart from the hug.

Zoey had an idea. "Do you want me to fight him for you?" she asked. 

"Wha??" Kazuichi responded.

“I’ll do it. I’ll fight him.” She almost rolled up her long sleeves, and then realized she wasn’t wearing long sleeves, so she mimed rolling up long sleeves until she scrunched up her T-shirt sleeves, to show she was serious serious. 

“N-n-no! Don’t!” Kazuichi stopped Zoey from scrunching her t-shirt sleeves and laughed nervously. Zoey couldn’t tell if this laugh was from fear that Gundham would beat her or from thinking she was just kidding, and was offended by both reasonings. “Don’t do that! That’s not what girls do!” 

Ew. Shut up. “Then you shouldn't fight him either!” 

Kazuichi smiled, looking relieved for a second, then frowned again. “No! Wait! I can’t just get out of it like that!”  

“Why the hell not?!” 

“Cuz I have to show Miss Sonia that I can fight the competition! That I’m not – not just gonna let some – some other guy have her!” 

“Ew!” Zoey couldn’t help it, this time she vocalized her disgust at the gender roles Kazuichi kept forcing in this situation. “Fine! Then I’ll freaking fight her instead!” 

“What?!”  

Zoey quickly corrected her Freudien slip. “I mean then I’ll fight him! Freaking fight –him. I’ll fight Gundham for you! Even if he puts a big curse on me! I don’t care!” 

“You know he can’t actually – But –but- don't fight him!” Kazuichi tried to chill out and stop yelling at Zoey (she was really trying to be better at this, really!) “I know – you're trying to help me – but that’s not how it works! You...you can’t fight him for me, for Miss Sonia... do you get what that looks like?”  

“No.” She actually did, but she wondered if acting confused and making Kazuichi explain it would help the situation. “What’s it look like?” 

Kazuichi stood there for a second. “Huh? You actually don’t -?...” 

Kazuichi messed with her hat a little bit while she tried to cobble together an explanation. “....Okay, so...I’m fighting Gundham to show him I’m - you know – I'm top dog, like, I’m the best Miss Sonia’s, um, that I’m supposed to be her...boyfriend... instead of – and then you – if you fight Gundham – it's not gonna make me look good! It’ll make me look, ah, cowardly, and then – so you can’t! Just don’t! Also, what if you get hurt? Also, Gundham’s not gonna fight a girl!”  

Zoey huffed. She hated being called a girl in contexts like these. Also, she had hoped Kazuichi would realize midway through explaining it how stupid this was, but it looks like Kazuichi still agrees with this bullshit. Ughhhh. 

“Do you get it now?” Kazuichi asked, looking like she was ready to explain more if she needed to. Zoey was almost tempted to ask her to repeat her explanation like it was a video game option.  

She decided not to be annoying on purpose.  

She thought about what might help prevent what Kazuichi was saying. “What if I fight Gundham, but I let everyone know in the moment it’s because I’m being a loyal friend and not because you’re cowardly? Sorry! Not calling you cowardly! I mean, I just mean that I would announce it to everyone, without the ‘cowardly’ part, so they all know it’s not like you need me to fight! Maybe you could try to ‘stop’ me, and I’m so, uh, set on fighting him I just punch-” 

Kazuichi instinctively panicked and put her hands on Zoey’s fists.  

Zoey smiled. “Yeah, like that!”  

This made Kazuichi freeze again, then laugh, and Zoey joined in.  

Everything was starting to feel better now.  

“Okay, okay, I won't fight him.” Zoey said, feeling more willing to let this go (maybe because Kazuichi was touching her hands). 

Kazuichi giggled. “Why’re you always trying to fight people for me?” 

Zoey tried to put on a poker face. “Because I’m a.... v-very loyal f-friend.” She felt like a robot trying to say that. She could feel her face burning. Because I have a big fat crush on you. Because I’m angry at the world and I would punch it for you. Because I want to protect you from everything. Because I really am a loyal friend, but also I would get married and/or take my pants off if you asked me to, which is not my normal loyal friend behavior but it’s- 

“Aww, you’re blushing!” Kazuichi pointed out. 

“I’m not!” Zoey said, accidentally yelling, instinctively covering her face with her hand. “Oh, I - I am???” She pretended to be surprised at this shocking revelation. “I - I guess I have ---- allergiiiies~--?”   

Kazuichi laughed and hugged her. Another hug! Zoey may have lost at Uno Attack, but she felt like she was winning today. 

“Awwww, you’re so cute! I’m really glad we’re friends too!” Kazuichi said. 

Zoey was still smiling, she was still in a good mood, but also, did she just get friendzoned again?! Mother FUCKE- 

-- 

-- 

-- 

(The end of this piece) 

*Kazuichi promised in an earlier chapter that she would never "leave Zoey". I can't explain too much, but this promise was more about the context of leaving the friendship instead of leaving a social situation.

(A/N: Zoey friendzoned Kazuichi first and then gets surprised Pikachu face when Kazuichi returns the gesture. She is a hypocrite lol. They all are. Almost every character I write is hypocritical. I find it funny.

Also, throughout this fic Kaz and Zoey keep unintentionally playing this game of who can be more obvious about their crush before the other one stops being oblivious.)  

[mediocre-eternity]

It is 10 April, 2023

I must write about something that happened to me.

Something overcame me a few nights ago. In fact, my body still feels like it was left back in time. I don’t think Daniel has ever witnessed these states of mine. No, he hasn’t. And if I was going through this darkness years ago, the drugs allowed him to miss it.

Actually, yes. Yes, yes. I have been this deep in the hallows when Daniel was mortal, but he kept leaving me. And nights passed and passed until he was dying and I was forced to make him what he is today. Silver linings, I suppose. Daniel is still alive.

I don’t know how long ago this was, but I remember typing that I would take a few bodies and feel more myself and now I have the feeling I overindulged. I don’t like sharing this with Daniel but now he’s going to read it, I suppose (not like he’s ever complained about the crazed fucking that comes after). I couldn’t help the murders, I just kept killing and killing until I had consumed five, adrenaline-dosed humans. Toward the end of my spree, I remember wanting to crunch down on a beating heart but must have tempered myself just in time. And anyway, I was drinking from Daniel’s femoral a mere fifteen minutes later, like a starved wet, little leach. This act only served to fuel my fever. I should have let Daniel take more than he wanted.

That doesn’t matter.

I was later laying down in my shower, letting the water soak my face, when something possessed me to involuntarily focus on a particular memory. I was fascinated by it. I studied the memory until it made no more contextual sense. And then it happened. A vision of a small boy I knew at the palazzo was stuck to me, facing me. His little round, red face. His blue eyes and whispy blonde hair covering his forehead. The face spoke to me but wasn’t really saying coherent words. Then the face started to contort, over-exaggerating these hardly-audible nonsense words, shifting in color as it did so. Screams of horrified boys overtook my ears until they sounded like alarms and when I looked back to recognize the face it had become the bloated, pale green corpse I had witnessed before I never saw him again. I was so shocked that I nearly flung myself from the tub onto the floor where I started to wail to keep up with the shrieking in my head, thinking that would silence the deafening roar but only wound up as competition to it.

I heard my name shouted through the inferno. I tried to get to my knees but kept collapsing, my hands clutched hard to my chest. I begged this pleading voice to leave, to end this torture. Somehow, my prayer was answered and Daniel’s hand came down hard on my back, jolting me free of my nightmare. He had been calling my name.

Oh what a sight I must have been. My body was drenched with blood from top to bottom and the floor around me, too. I stopped my wailing but desperate, sad sobs consumed by body as I shook. The idea of being seen in such a state made me pray I could vomit the pain away but alas, nothing came up. I was a coven leader. A feared member of Immortal Kind… who’s fledgling was now roughly rubbing their back to bring them back up the to the surface of the current world. A bloody, pathetic boy on the floor of his own bathroom.

Eventually I could hear words again. Jesse asking if I was okay in a hushed voice and Benji reiterating her questioning. Daniel got to his feet and walked passed Jesse. “It’s a panic attack.” I heard him mention and the conversation between them trailed out the door. All I could think of was the handheld mirror on the counter above me and I desperately crawled to it until I had dragged it down to the floor with me. I stared into it, into my eyes and down to my heaving, bloody shoulders. I didn’t know who that was in that moment and it occurred to me that I had lost another version of my cursed existence.

There was no sense in remembering the Palazzo or my friends. It was gone. That little boy was gone. Amadeo was gone. My coven was gone. My Theatre was gone. The Island… nearly so.

I heard Daniel in my ear again, whispering a concerned “Come on” as he took the mirror from me and my silk robe was put over my shoulders. I took it as a cue to rub feverishly at the blood tears.

“I used to have panic attacks all the time.” I heard from Benji behind me. He mentioned something about trying to remember I was real (?) but I was stumbling to get to my feet and compose myself. Attack. The word stuck in my head. Yes, attack. These attacks. I remember them from my time as a mortal youth and again with the coven. Perhaps even some years ago when Daniel was mortal but the essence of the memory of these attacks is lost. Nothing was as piercing as what I was feeling right then. Nothing was as clear as the boys face. The despair I felt the other night was the most complete blackness you could possibly imagine. Endless worthlessness. The very same blackness I saw in the sunlight. Oh, why was I saved from that fate?

I tried to speak in a composed way to Benji, through my embarrassment, but Daniel interrupted me again to remind me that was absolutely shaking. I was then lifted off of my feet by Daniel, who cradled me and walked me back to our sofa. I thought of the boy. I thought of the Palazzo. Nobody had held me like this since the last time Marius put me down and it caused an emotion I have yet to identify. I wished I could be held by Daniel like this for hours but I was on the cushions before I could cognitively react.

“One time,” Benji continued. “I drank, like, a bunch of energy drinks with my friends and I had to go to the hospital…” Though I was desperately straining to follow his words.

“And what did they tell you at the hospital?” Daniel smiled at Benji, taking over this conversation because there was no possible way for me to understand what he was explaining. Energy drinks? Hospital? For the rest of the evening I was caught in this haze. Benji explained to me later that these drinks caused a panic attack… similar to how my excessive killing made me feel. It still makes no sense to me.

There more commotion as Jesse insisted on finding a mop with Daniel telling her to just throw some towels down and Benji informing them that he had bought a swiffer (?) at some point. These words circled my brain as I struggled to decipher their meaning. I laid my head to the cushion and succumbed to the ambient noise of the city and the house. I didn’t come to until many hours later, Daniel sitting beside me with the low ambience of whatever video game he was playing on our flat-screen. I shut my eyes a final time that night and have been trying to put my mind back together ever sense.

Vaguely, I remember being caught in these attacks but had little comfort following. I was buried underneath putrid soil of a cemetery, staring wildly at the interior of my coffin with only the ambiguously comforting advice from Allesandra to keep me centered until I was thrown back into the confusion again and again and again. But at that time it was a familiar cycle and I had no Daniel or Jesse or Benji or whoever to find me piteously flailing on modern white tile. Then why was this spiraling so much more visceral? Perhaps the absence of other agonies only served to make it that much more vivid. What do I do all night now anyway? I get up, I cut my hair, I wait for Daniel, I take a shower, I hunt. Then what? We lay on the couch or hop the fence into the Brooklyn Zoo? I might indulge and maybe ask Benji to show me some new trick on his computer? Construction in Miami is moving so slow. There is nothing to distract me, so my memories won’t allow for such comfortability. Perhaps this monotony is undeserved.

At any rate, I’ve been nearly static ever since. I feel some energy flowing inside of me again so I don’t believe the stagnation is permanent but having no control over how I am is too foreign and too gross.

[growup-thatbeautiful]

Our Daughter

first things first. DUNE IS SLAYING AT THE OSCARS YESSSSSSS and i feel like it’s totally deserved the ones so far. ALSO LOOK AT HIM HES GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK ISTG happy oscar night guys :))

a/n: i really needed to write something. i can’t be on technology for a long periods of time rn and i can’t plan a full fledged fic (sorry for anyone reading the proposal or who has send requests). this is me coping. pls enjoy.

tags: timothee chalamet x reader, no y/n, husband timothee chalamet, dad timothee chalamet

masterlist!

taglist: @shawnieeboyy

The door shuts with a muted click behind you. Most of the lights in the house are out, the only giveaway that there’s anyone else home is the soft voices that you hear upstairs. You hang up the heavy wool jacket around your shoulders on the hook by the door. Your mind softens at the sight of the bright yellow and deep blue jackets next to yours. One is notably shorter than the others and is lined with flowers.

The sound of your heels clicking against the hardwood stairs adds to the midnight melody. If you currently had any higher brain function you would be wondering why you’re hearing voices at all. It’s definitely a little later than the 8:00 bedtime you put into place earlier.

You, however, don’t have any more capacity for thinking, having checked out about two hours ago. So, it comes without emotion when you walk into a castle-painted room and see a group of conspirators drawing on the floor.

One of them is looking at you like he just got caught doing something terribly sinful. The other simply looks smug. You wish you could say you’re surprised that the former is not the four-year-old. Valarie, your daughter, is the one who looks simply happy to have somehow tricked her father to let her stay up this late.

“You. To bed. Now.” You point fake menacingly at the raven-haired little girl on the floor, who’s determinedly coloring something that looks maybe like a cat. Laying on the floor next to her is your similarly positioned husband.

You’re met immediately with a pair of pouting and sad eyes that you just can’t seem to build up immunity against.

“Come on. Just a few more minutes? We have a big gallery showing tomorrow,” defends Timothee, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh?” You sit down crossed-legged next to them, unstrapping the heels on your feet. Timothee lays his head against your knee gently. Everything in his posture demands your attention. The way his face openly asks Are you okay?

You run a hand through his hair and nod at the question he didn’t ask. You’re just tired like you always seem to be these days. His hand comes to rest against your cheek briefly before it flutters back to his side.

“Val, do you want to tell your mother who the guest of honor is to your big art show?” He directs the question to your daughter, who brightens at the prospect of sharing something about her art with you. He must know something you don’t because she promptly gets up and runs into the other room. You look at Timothee questioningly.

“We should have a little bit of time while she’s getting that set up,” he answers without giving you any information whatsoever.

“Who’s the guest of honor? One of her stuffed animals?”

“I didn’t send her politely away to talk about a fake art show,” Timothee says, sitting up. “You obviously need some time.”

“Time for what?“ He grabs your hands and helps you up, holding you steady when the hem of your dress catches under your feet.

“For this.” His lips meet yours in a sure kiss, one that tells you everything you need to know. “And to tell you that I love you so fucking much.”

You melt against him, lying your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you too.”

“Now. Tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours. And don’t say nothing, because I can see your gears turning,” he warns, his lips moving against the crown of your head.

“Everything just seems so much harder than I thought it would be. We live such a privileged life. I have the absolute love of my life to come home to every day and the most beautiful daughter in the world. There’s food on the table and warmth when it’s cold. But I’m having trouble seeing how we can do it all.” Once you start talking, it's like you can’t stop. You’ve shared these thoughts with him before, and he’s shared similar ones right back. You know it’s an important part of a balanced relationship to talk about things like this.

“It’s not like I thought it would be easy to do all of this. I mean, our lives were chaotic enough before we had her, but at least there wasn’t as much guilt about not being home for one single fucking night.” You know Timothee well enough to know that he’s watching you right now, those loving eyes fixed on your picture of defeat.

“You think you’re missing too much of her life.” It’s not phrased as a question. The two of you agreed a long time ago to not ask stupid, leading questions. You don’t move a muscle against him.

“I can assure you that Val doesn’t think so. Just tonight she told me that she wanted to be exactly like mommy. She was the one who persuaded me to let her stay up and see you. She’s resilient in love just like you. She won’t let a little distance get between you.”

It’s a good thing Val chooses that moment to return. You wouldn’t have any possible words to say to him other than mouth a soundless thank you.

Your daughter is carrying a stack of multicolored papers, which she promptly drops to the ground with a thunk and clears her throat loudly for your attention.

“Sit down,” she instructs bluntly, pointing to the floor. You shrug and do as she says, Timothee following beside you. His hand is warm in yours. You can’t remember when he started holding it, but you’re so thankful he never let go.

“These are my arts. They’re all for Mommy because I wanted to make them for her because Mommy makes art too.” Without any more discussion, Val hands you the first drawing.

“That one’s Daddy. Look, I did his hair! And he’s wearing sparkles.” It’s a close impression of Timothee, who’s currently looking at the little wonder in front of him and not the drawing.

“This one is Mommy. I don’t think it’s very good because you don’t look as pretty in my drawing…” she trails off, suddenly looking downtrodden. Then, something occurs to her and she brightens up. Ah. The ever-changing mind of a child. “But I drew you in the dress that makes you look like a princess. The blue one.” You nod along, knowing exactly which dress she’s talking about. The first time you wore it she was three and was completely convinced that you had to be actual royalty because no one else got to wear dresses that pretty, apparently. Timothee had vehemently agreed with her and boosted your ego significantly. It’s one of your favorite memories.

It had impacted Val so much that you got her a similar blue dress so she could be a princess too, which might not have been the best choice because she didn’t take it off for a month. There are pictures of her and you matching in your twirling dresses all across her room, Timmy either taking the picture or posing in between. Your favorite is one of him holding Val and spinning with you.

“I love it, baby.” You take the picture and hold it up to your face, smiling as big as the version of you she drew. “And it looks just like me! Timmy, can you tell which one is the real me?”

“Man, I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to kiss you and find out.“ He leans in slowly toward you, a grin on his face. He knows where this is going. Predictably, Val shrieks loudly and insists that you stop.

“What’s that? Timothee, do you hear that? I think there’s a whisper in the wind.” Timothee stills and pretends to be listening. Val’s yelling turns to giggles and insistence that she’s right there. As usual, Timothee yields first and turns towards her.

“Why, there you are, Valarie. You shouldn’t come in here so silently, you know. You’ll give us a heart attack,” he chides dramatically.

Val rolls her eyes and yawns simultaneously, something she definitely learned from you, and picks up the rest of the drawings. They’re placed unceremoniously on your lap with directions to look at them before you go to sleep and pick out the best one.

“M’ going to sleep now,” she declares, picking up her favorite stuffed cow and face planting into Timothee’s shoulder.

“My talented little girl,” he murmurs. Timothee holds Val and brings her in between the two of you, effectively squishing her in a hug. “My two beautiful girls.”

[kabbal]

HI, Kabbal! I was wondering if you could a Jaydick relationship reveal headcanons?

Ohoho. Now this has comedy potential.

When Dick told Donna and Wally he was 'kind of seeing someone', they braced themselves for the worst. Because let's face it : Dick's taste in partners has been in a downward spiral for a good while. "It may seem a bit weird to you but I'm actually serious about them." Dick says. "Oh?" Donna asks. "Who is it?" She's mentally running through potential candidates - maybe Slade Wilson or some other up-to-no-good fucker who's going to trample all over Dick's heart. "It's Jason." Dick says, and Wally exclaims :"Oh thank God ! We thought it was going to be way worse."

"I kissed Dick yesterday." Jason says. Artemis squints at him, then goes back to polishing her axe. "Tongue ?" "Yes." "Good."

"Dick," Jason says, looking at the computer like every pixel on the screen is insulting him. "Why is are you reading a wikihow article on 'How to introduce a boyfriend to children' ?" "Well," Dick says. "At some point, I'm going to have to tell Damian about us. And I want it to go well, so..." Jason shakes his head: "Please tell me that doesn't make the brat my step-something." Dick offers him an apologetic smile. "Okay. I won't tell you." "Oh, don't get all smartass on me. It's not a good look." "Liar. You love how I look, anyday, anytime." "...Fuck, I do."

Jason knocks on the small wooden door, a small tray with two Darjeeling tea cups balanced on top. It's only a few seconds before the door opens, revealing Alfred, still freakishly put together in a nightshirt and cap. "Well, goodnight, Master Jason. I see you have brought tea. Is something the matter ?" Jason swallows. "Hello, Alfie. I... Can we talk? I want to ask for a... blessing of some sorts." Alfred's eyebrows briefly reach his nightcap. "Well, certainly. I do feel we should head in, then. No proper blessing can be given in an hallway."

Dick knocks on a small wooden door, a small tray with two Earl Gray tea cups balanced on top. When the door opens, he's surprised to see Jason standing in the treshold, with Alfred sitting inside the room on an armchair in his nightclothes. "Goodnight, Master Dick. I suppose you too are in need of a blessing?" Dick has never seen anyone sip tea in a more amused manner.

"On a scale from one to ten," Jason asks. "How pissed would you be if I dated one of your exes." Roy stops working on his arrowhead to glance at him from under his baseball cap. "Depends. Are you talking about mine or Kori's ?" The alien princess flies down to them, a curious light in her green eyes. "I would not be angry that you are courting someone I had known, Jason. Although it may appear to Roy as an attack against the brother code." "She makes an excellent point, Jaybird. What about the bro code?" "You're really gonna bring up the bro code when you slept with Dick's ex?" "We're not talking about Dick, loverboy." "I mean... we kinda are." "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE DATING DICK?!" "Oh, what a great news ! I am very happy for you, Jason !" "THE BRO CODE IS NO MORE."

"Hey, Dami ! Do you have a moment? I want to talk to you ab-" "Speak no more, Richard. I do hope you do not think me incompetent enough to not uncover your dalliance with Todd. As it seems to have put you in an agreeable mood these last few months, I will offer my reluctant approbation. However, do not let Todd mistake this for endorsement. He still must prove his worth to me before I may be willing to let him ask for your hand." "Aw. Come here, let me thank you for your blessing." "Unhand me immediatly Richard."

"I'm in love with someone." Jason says. "You know what love is, don't you?" Bizarro nods gravely. "Me knows. Love is Red Him. Red Her too." "Exactly. So, I'm in love. You met him once, at the circus. His name is Dick." "If Red Him loves Dick Him, me love Dick Him also." Jason smiles and pats the big, blue, shoulder. "Thanks, Biz'. It means a lot."

"Do you think Bruce knows ? About us ?" Dick says. His fingers are pressing in the dip between two muscles on Jason's thighs. "I don't know." Jason says. "It's a tight race between his undying obsession for surveillance and his everlasting unwillingness to see anything that goes against his worldview." Dick snorts. "Maybe we should do the nasty right under one of his cameras. Or on top of the Batmobile. He couldn't ignore it then." "I'm gonna act like like you didn't just remind me of one of my greatest teenage fantasies three inches awayfrom my cock and say that it wouldn't work. He would just repress the memory. And then ask Babs to wipe out the tape." "You're so mean. He absolutely would, the old bastard."

Dick walks down to the cave, a waffel in his mouth. He strolls to his bike and is surprised to find a note on the saddle. Please don't fuck on the batmobile. He absolutely would make me wipe out the tape. -Barbara.

They don't fuck on the batmobile (yet), but they do fuck on Jason's bike, grinding like teenagers and kissing until they feel like drowning. The comms are muted, the alley is quiet Jason feels like fire under his leather jacket. Dick is driving him mad with hisses and moans and teasing words : "Big bad Red Hood caught a bird -Ah! Mh, I wonder what he's going to do to poor old me." Jason wants to devour him but there's a loud noise above them and an even louder: "DON'T MIND ME! JUST PASSIN' THROUGH! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!" Jason winces, and Dick laughs. "Well, it's nice to know even Harley approves." "What would she know ?" Jason snarls. "She's got a shit taste in men." Dick nuzzles his cheek : "She got better. Now, let's listen to the lady. Kiss me again?" Jason does.

"Why does Harley Quinn think you're boning Jason?" Stephanie asks, and Dick doesn't spit his drink but Tim does. "What the fuck, Stephanie?!" He says with milk dripping from his chin. "The kitchen is a peace zone!" "That was a perfectly innocuous question, Timothy." Dick can feel the argument brewing, so he puts an end to it (or rather, starts a different argument. "I'm not boning Jason." He puts his glass firmly on the counter. "I'm dating him and making sweet sweet love to him." Steph is laughing. Tim is howling. "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, MAN!"

Jason is out on patrol in Park Row, checking on the working girls, when a window opens above him. An old lady's head appears and she whoops : "Hood, dear boy! Is it true that you made an honest man of the Nightwing boy?" "Maybe I did." Jason drawls. "Or maybe he made an honest man outta me." The girls around him start hollering and patting him on the shoulder and Jason knows that by the end of the night, all of Park Row will know - if it doesn't already.

They're coming back to the cave after a busy night, all of them bruised and bloody. Jason is limping and Dick offered his shoulder as a crutch. Alfred is doing rounds, distributing painkillers and first aid kits. Dick's hand mindlessly strokes Jason's hair, until he gives in and kisses the white strands plastered against his sweaty forehead. There is no gasps in the room, no offended cries. From the corner of his eyes, Dick can see Alfred tending to a wound on Duke's head, Cass and Stephanie huddled together, Barbara and Tim already planning their next step, and Bruce- striding towards them, a pinched look on his face. "Nightwing. Red Hood. Vitals?" "Jason's leg took a hit," Dick says so Jason doesn't have to. "Other than that, we're both good." Bruce nods. "Good. I am... happy. That you are good. The both of you." And then he strides back to the computer without a second glance. "He so fucking awkward." Jason says. Dick nods, and plants a kiss to his lips next.

[subwaysurf45]

Code Star

Summary: a code word you and Bucky share is used; but it’s not in a good way.

Warning: panic attack, ripping out hair, addiction(little bit)

Words: 2030

Masterlist!

"Agent. Agent. Copy agent?" Friday spoke through the speakers in your room, it was louder than normal and also in the middle of the night which was the reason you woke up with a gasp.

"C-copy," you spat out, you typically sleep with your mouth open, so it gets dry when you first wake.

"Mr. Barns is calling you, he says it's 'code star'." Your stomach dropped, from all the adrenaline from waking up with a scare and the code, you sprinted down the hall way.

-

It was late and you were in the kitchen, you were trying to separate from your sleeping pills because during your last mission you couldn't sleep because you forgot them, you were addicted to them. So you needed to take a step back, learn to fall asleep on your own.

After asking around there was a tea Wanda recommended, it was lavender tea and she said it's the best with honey. You were currently steeping your bag and had honey beside you.

You took the soggy bag out and turned to the compost bin, after dropping it in and turned around you almost slipped because Bucky was right there.

Standing frozen. Dead face. Staring at you.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You yelled, not caring if it woke someone up, "what's wrong with you?" You realized you clutched at your heart through your sweater.

He was on the other side of the island, but he seemed to be leaning over a bit, he looked down at your steaming mug and then back at you.

"I- I was going to say hi and then I liked the smell of your tea and then when you turned I looked up at you, I-I didn't mean to freak you out, that must have been really scary, sorry." He looked down into the cup again. "What is it?" He finally asked.

You let your guard down a bit, "lavender," you never looked away from him, "and honey." That was the most he'd ever said to you since he showed up two months ago, he stayed in his room the first month.

"Nice," he nodded, his metal arm coming up and rubbing the back of his neck.

"There's extra water, I can make you one." You knew he was going to ask for your cup, but you really need to hit the sack.

His face lit up in the dark, "perfect!" He half smiled.

You poured the other cup and steeped the another bag, then added honey as well. You both stayed where you were on either side of the island.

"Why are you up?" He asked while blowing on the tea, his voice was below normal level.

"Just can't sleep," you sigh and look over to the common room, no one was there but you really didn't want to meet his eyes.

"I get that," he spoke awkwardly and looked over as well, thinking you were studying something.

"I'm-...I'm trying to get if sleeping pills my shit therapist prescribed for me," you looked back at him, his eye brows raised and his head tilted forty-five degrees.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Insomnia."

"Oh..." he spoke to himself and looked down again, his thumb rubbing the smooth ceramic handle of the blue mug that wasn't his. "I get nightmares." He stated blankly, but he didn't look up at his statement.

"Is it..." you tried to find the right words to not trigger him, "before the war, like America...or later on…in life...?" You danced around the question, Steve had told you mentioning certain things can get Bucky really freaked out.

"My mind," he laughed sarcastically, "it likes to mix the two," he pulled one side of his mouth tight.

"Double-whammy," you whispered, then froze at the sound of a giggle, Bucky chuckled. "What?"

"No-I-I just...I get that reference," he seemed proud, his face seemed to fall quickly though, circling back, "my arm is weird, it's like my human arm but the star," he points to the red, "is like sewn in, I don't know what it means but..." he trialed off.

"Well, if you need help, just call a code star, I'll come to your room and bring you some tea, how about that?" You smile.

"What? Like a friend?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Okay," he smiled and nodded, "alright," his fingers drummed on the counter, "I'm gonna take this back to my room, but I'll remember that." He nodded and left, but caught himself at the corner to the rooms, "hey, agent," he spoke normal, you looked, "if you're gonna be my friend, don't ask 'what's wrong with me?', because trust me...I’ll talk you to your grave." He smirked.

“Noted, Sargent.” You’ve never seen him joke with you before, it felt comforting.

-

'Code star' had never been used for its newer purpose before, as the friendship and relationship grew 'code star' became 'code lavender', it happened after Bucky called 'code star' once while he was having a panic attack, you took so long to make the tea he was passed out by the time you showed up.

'Code lavender': make a tea, meet in the kitchen.

'Code star': panic attack, drop everything a come.

You sprinted down the hallway to the very last room, you could hear laboured breathing as you got closer. Typically you'd knock softly and come in quietly, not this time.

You whipped open the door to see Bucky staring slightly down on the edge of his bed, he was rocking back and forth as his fingers ripped and pulled on his long hair. His pupils blew wide and his lips curled causing his teeth to flash, he didn't even look up at you.

A loud bang from your knees hitting the hardwood didn't phase him either, you tired to duck down to meet his line of eye sight but you couldn't get down enough.

"Bucky, look at me!" You pulled his hands out of his hair, as you made him drop them to his side you found a pile of hair outside his thighs, "oh god," you whispered, your hand unlacing with his to pick up the locks, the free hand of his went straight back to tugging. "Don't do that, don't do that." You hushed and took it out again, a tuff came with it. "Bucky, look at me," you said calmer now, you needed to be the example. "Bucky, nod if you can hear me."

He didn't nod, his eyes stayed locked on your chest. They didn't move there, he was already looking there, it was like he was looking through you.

You kept his hands clumped in your right hand and your left hand began to trace around his face, starting at his cheeks that were dry, little circles led to cross the bridge the nose a couple times. You also started humming, a song you heard Bucky and Steve sing once while drunk and having fun.

His eye brows seemed to raise for a second at the tune, but he quickly fell back into his short shallow breathes. You kept going, your finger gently tracing his cleft chin, it was always something you pinched when joking around with him.

"Wake up, Bucky," you whispered after finishing the song, you started the tune again. His breathing seemed to slow a little and his almost black eyes moved around a bit, "there you go," you cupped his cheek, now just shifting your thumb back and forth. You didn't know if he'd start to pull his hair out again so you kept both the metal and flesh hand covered with your left.

His breathing went to normal, his rib cage expanding wide as he took voluntary breathes. His eyes were shut tight but you felt him lean into your hand that was still holding his cheek.

"Are you with me?" You asked softly, he leaned into your hand again, his hand slowly made it up to his face and he placed his hand over yours, gently guiding it down to his lips; his kisses to your palm were long and filled with their own language.

"I'm here," his voice cut out and became a breath, but you heard him. His eyes looked up before his head moved, he locked eyes with you and something changed.

It was like he was seeing you for the first time, eyes a little wide and confused; but knowing at the same time. They became misty the more he looked, he was never one to cry so he dropped his head to cover the tears.

"It's okay," you hushed, he dropped your hand and leaned forward, basically throwing his entire body weight onto you. You fell back to the floor and he cried in your chest, you saw some of his hair fall with him. "Let it out," your arms wrapped around him and began to rub all along his back, huge, gentle, soothing rubs.

"I-I killed you all," his voice sounded like a dog panting from his short breathes that came when he talked, "I- couldn't s-stop," his 's' slithered like snakes as he tries get sufficient air and talk.

"We're all here, just a dream." It was the same mantra, "we're all here, you're safe, it was a nightmare, you're out of it now. There you go, big breathes, you're doing great, you're a pro at this, keep breathing." You let the broken record play, he seemed to get smaller at every praise.

He sat up and leaned against the bed, Bucky pulled his sleeve around his fist to hold it tight. When he wiped his face it was aggressive, like he was mad at himself. He just stared at you like he always did, you were alway involved in his dreams so he needed to look at you to stay grounded.

"Sorry," his 's' still slurred, "I-...I'm sorry," he wanted to say something else, you could hear it in his tone. His head dropped, Bucky almost fell over at the sight of his hair, "did I do that?" He asked, his nose turned up.

All you did was nod, any verbal answer would've sounded almost grossed out or accusatory. He sighed and looked between the hair and you, he wanted to say something, he'd already stopped himself once.

"Tell me," you whispered.

"I want to cut my hair," Bucky responded softly, "I-I also want to sleep on the floor from now own." He seemed ashamed of the second ask.

"You like the cold?" You tried to figure him out.

"That and it's...comforting...I think," Bucky scratched his head, his metal hand slowing at the thin spot from tugging, "it just grounds me, I'm not used to fluffy things- nicer things."

"How about a mattress pad, you're back will scream at you in the morning." You tried to lighten the mood, he smiled a bit and then nodded. "How about you come sleep in my room tonight, just so I can keep an eye on you and if you want to sleep on my firm mattress you can hop on, how's that?" You stood and held your hand out, Bucky nodded and clapped his metal hand to yours.

You led him down the hallway and to your room, it was really quiet and almost off putting. You slept barefoot so the sound of soft footsteps from your feet was the only thing you heard, Bucky wore socks.

He went straight to your bed and felt the mattress, both hands pressing down on it to see the give it has. You felt a little happy when he was nodding in a positive way; his bottom lip also pouted out.

Bucky slipped in and you joined as well, he stayed still for a while, on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"Y'know, you can cuddle," you whispered, without another second to blink Bucky's face rested on your chest, his arm circled your body completely in a tight hug. Your hands found their way to his back and to his hair, softly lulling him to sleep, "I'll cut your hair in the morning."

"Love you," he murmured.

[bajisbabe]

[author’s note] song slap hard ASF, song so good it pisses me off—🎼😡 y’all better listen to it, too

# ‘CAUSE I WANT YOU TOO

“If you say I’m on your mind, you gon’ need to spend more time to prove it.”

drunk-ex!baji comes to your home

warnings: kissing, drunk!Baji, arguing, Baji is kind of mean, cussing, Baji is 23 here, angst ig.

synopsis: Your ex, Baji, gets drunk and comes over. You try to turn him away because you’re afraid to admit that he wasn’t at fault for the breakup, but he doesn’t leave.

song: say it (mashup) by tory lanez and sevyn streeter

You hadn’t thought twice when opening the door. It was late in the night, and you just wanted to answer the door and get it over with; to stop the loud banging that just wouldn’t go away. You turn on the table lamp near the couch as you make your way into the living room. Tucking yourself into a robe, you turned the knob and opened the door, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you asked groggily, “Who is it—?”

Long hair, yellow eyes, and bruised knuckles with a hair tie around the wrist. Your ex, Baji Keisuke.

For a split second, you wondered what you should do. But without thinking it through, you clutched the door and attempted to slam it in his face. But he shoved his foot in the door, smiling lopsidedly at you as he pressed in further. He gradually worked his way into your home with ease.

You felt a strange sense of fear in your stomach. You hadn’t seen Baji in months after your breakup. Although he argued with you when you two broke up, he hadn’t bothered to contact you since. You thought he had moved on, but here he was. Stumbling into your living room and taking a seat on the couch, his head lolling as he let out an obnoxiously loud sigh.

You watched him for what felt like an entirety, subconsciously flinching whenever he made a move. You thought to call the police, but to get your phone you would have to make your way past him. And you didn’t have the guts to try.

He took a moment to glance around your apartment, looking somewhat confused. You vaguely remember having thrown out quite a few items when the two of you split, so your place must have looked different to him now.

He slowly turned his attention to you, his expression blank as his eyes raked over your face. He mumbled something under his breath as he took a swig from the beer bottle that you hadn’t noticed before. It was practically empty, as he shook the last couple of drops from it into his mouth. Your brows furrowed, you never knew Baji to be much of a drinker. He let out a burp, smiling at you when he finally noticed that you had been watching him the entire time.

“Miss me?” He said.

You slowly shook your head, backing up a couple steps. But there was nowhere to go. You were inches away from colliding with the front door. And you didn’t even think of running, knowing that he could easily catch up with you even in a drunken state.

“Baji,” you started firmly, trying your damnedest to remain cordial. “I think you should leave.”

“Oh, you think?” He spat, turning and twisting the bottle in his hand. Watching with vague interest how the dim light catches on the glass. “That’s funny.” He lets out a crude chuckle, glaring at you.

You merely stared back at him, not sure of what to say. You two didn’t end on good terms, that’s for sure.

“Did’ja think when you broke up with me for no—fucking—reason?” He punctuates each word with a tap of the butt of his beer bottle on the armrest of your couch. “Hmm, (Y/N)?”

“Baji, please.” You frowned, crossing your arms and trying to appear unafraid. But your hands are shaking like crazy. “You should just go—”

“S’not my name.” He mumbles. He looks at you again. But this time, there is no malicious glint in his eyes. He is merely looking at you and nothing more. Not glaring, or leering. Just looking. “You know that’s not m’name.”

“Yes, it is.” You say quietly. “That is your name. And now, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, please—”

“Just stop it.” He says. He stands slowly, noticing immediately the way your shoulders hunch and you put your hands up as though you expect him to attack. He frowns at the sight, sucking his teeth as he approaches you steadily. “You know that’s not my name. You know my name… just say it.”

His large hand comes up to cup your face, you pull away. Your fingers fidgeting as you hesitate, thinking that you should push him away. Not that he would budge even if you did.

“Please, (Y/N).” His voice is soft and low. And he’s looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. You haven’t seen those eyes—and that look—in so damn long. “Please.”

“Baji, you need to leave.”

“That’s not my name and you know it.” There’s a subtle bite in his tone, but his eyes are still soft. “Now, could you please just say it?”

“Baji,” you breath, clasping your hands in a pathetic attempt not to lose your cool. “I’m asking you to leave—”

“M’not leavin’ ‘til you gimme what I want.” He reaches forward, much faster than you can comprehend. You sputter and grab hold of his wrists, trying to pull him off of you. But he doesn’t waver. His palms squeezing your cheeks, a subtle ache in your jaw at the sudden pressure. “Scratch that, I wanna kiss. Gimme a kiss.”

You try to pull back, but he merely follows you. His lips closing in on yours while you shake your head, eyes blown wide as you desperately yank his arms. “Stop it! Baji, stop it!”

You felt scared. You had never felt this way with Baji before. Somewhere, in the deepest depths of your mind, you were terrified that he would win you over yet again. That’s the last thing you wanted. You and him broke up because you became known as his girlfriend and nothing more. His personality and presence was so big that it completely swallowed yours.

You just wanted to be your own person. And he didn’t understand that then. You didn’t expect him to understand now either. So you never bothered to mention it, not even during the argument that ended your relationship.

You had left him without a spoken reason.

“S’Keisuke. Not Baji… You know that.” He says quietly, his lips a breath away from yours, your head still trapped between his calloused hands. “Kiss me. Do it now.”

“Get off of me,” you cry.

You should’ve run. You know you should’ve. You should’ve at least tried. But you didn’t. Your thoughts ran rampant, and you found that your own subconscious was ruthlessly blaming you for this situation. Thinking that you didn’t really want to break up with Baji, and that you just came up with a reason out of the blue. Baji was a good boyfriend, after all. But it was more so about how you felt like an accessory to him, rather than an equal.

He was just so important, and popular, and—just everything.

You knew it wasn’t his fault. You just needed some time to yourself to figure out who you were, and it ended up being months rather than a mere break. Now that you knew your worth, you didn’t have the guts to come back to him and tell him how you really felt. You didn’t have the guts to bring a genuine conclusion to it.

You had unknowingly hurt yourself by not voicing your opinion. And you didn’t know it yet, but you also hurt him just as much by ending your relationship without spoken reason. The more you thought about it, the sicker you felt. You just wanted him out of your home, so that you had a second to think before you made a decision you would regret.

“What’s your problem!” You shout, squirming in his grasp. “You’re drunk! Just go home!”

“Yeah?” He bites back. “Duh! And guess whose fault that is?”

You blink, your struggling momentarily halted. Whose fault…?

“S’yours, if you’re wondering.” His voice is quieter than before. His eyes are boring into yours. “I don’t drink—didn’t. Not ‘til…” He trails off, but you know what he’s getting at. And your heart shatters at the realization.

He notices your expression, it’s conflicted but he misunderstands. From his perspective, your blank stare is degrading; like you’re looking down on him. He doesn’t like that at all.

“Like you’re doing any better!” He says, eyes narrowing. “You’ve got problems too, I can see it!”

You don’t dare to speak, knowing that you might say something that’ll only make matters worse.

“You don’t think I saw that shit?” He says, glaring at you. He tugs you just a little closer and you feel your resolve crack some in return. “The way you flinched—like I was gonna hurt you or something. I wouldn’t do that, you know that!”

“Just stop it!” You rasp, your hands clutching his.

God, you don’t want to blurt out the real reason behind your breakup. After hearing the shit he’s put himself through, you don’t have the guts to tell him that it was nothing he did that caused the breakup.

Tears are brimming in your eyes as you stare back at his frowning face. “Stop it, Kei—”

There’s a moment of silence. So silent that your ears ring. He is no longer looking at you with that hard expression. His eyes are wide, brows raised, lips down-turned almost in a pout but not quite. “Kei?” He repeats quietly under his breath, eyes lingering on your face. He can feel your skin warm under his touch. And the brief sound of your name on his tongue has his heart beating hard. “Go on… Say it.”

“Don’t wanna,” your lips tug down, the backs of your eyes burning. You were gonna cry.

“Say it,” he releases his grip on your face. His hand comes up to wrap around the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing over your skin. He can even feel your pulse thrumming beneath the flesh. “Say it, and I’ll go… Promise.”

You don’t believe him and rightfully so. You shouldn’t believe him. And even still, you find his name rolling off your tongue. You think at the very least, you can give him that. After your breakup caused him so much hurt, and you still hadn’t given him a good reason.

“Again,” he whispers. His eyes never leave yours. “Say it again.”

“I can’t—”

“You can.” He presses, his grip tightening. You can feel him pulling you in; pulling you closer.

“Please, Baji—”

“You know my name.” He says, his voice lacking the strength from before. “S’only been a couple of months, you couldn’t have forgotten already.”

You see the sad look in his eyes and you break. Repeating his name just like he asked of you. And you don’t even get a chance to tell him the real reason behind your breakup as he places a chaste kiss on your lips.

Just one, then two, then three. Each longer than the last. And his grip is so strong that you couldn’t pull away even if you wanted to. But you don’t want to, and he knows it.

He pulls away slowly, his eyes racking over your face again. He looks at you like he’s afraid he’ll forget what you look like. Or that if he looks away, you’ll disappear.

And he knows he’s being selfish by asking you again and again. But he can’t stop himself, having not heard your voice in months. His teeth biting at his lower lip as he runs his tongue over the flesh, trying to remember your taste.

“Can you…” he pauses, knowing damn well that he’s being selfish and stringing you back in. He knows he’s gonna win you over. He just knows it because he knows you. And he just can’t bring himself to stop. “Can you say it...just one more time?”

[rafescoke]

Maybank ; Rafe Cameron (Part 2)

Part #2

Read part #1 here

masterlist

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Sometimes both sides are in the wrong.

Warnings: More angst, mentions of substance, gaslighting!

A/N: you know the drill. . . send requests!

(Y/N) isn’t one to feel jealous easily.

When she dated a certain boy from her school a few years ago, she wasn’t even phased when she had found him kissing another girl at a party.

She simply didn’t care.

But the aching feeling in her when she saw her current boyfriend sniffing a line on the back of a random girl with the perfect house and the perfect clothes and the-

“(Y/N), do you want to come down to the beach with us?”

(Y/N) finally looks up from her novel in which she wasn’t even reading in the first place. Her mind was somewhere else, and her thoughts weren’t put in the context of the book.

“No. I’m not feeling well.”

JJ sighs, fixing his cap backwards and placing himself beside her. He looks over her lap, reading the first few lines of the book his sister’s reading and sighs. 

“I never read, so I do not understand how this whole novel thing works. But I’m pretty sure reading about getting over a breakup won’t do you any good.”

(Y/N) rolls her eyes, snapping her book with a shut. The last thing she ever wants is for JJ to lecture her. She had enough bawling her eyes the past 2 weeks. 

“What time are you supposed to go again? Go.”

She’s grateful, of course, for JJ. He was there for her the whole 2 weeks when she didn’t feel like eating or taking a shower or anything that involved getting out of the bed.

But she feels better now, her hair perfectly up in a hairdo and the red color of her cheeks returning.

She’s not sad anymore.

The feeling evolves into anger.

Of course, (Y/N).

You’re nothing but a pogue.

If there’s one thing Obx is famous for, that will be the annual bonfire. It’s an excuse for every teenager on the island to let loose and to free themselves after a year of studying.

For (Y/N), it’s just another party for Rafe to ignore her.

But she’s not coming down to the beach with him a few distance away, hell, she doesn’t even know if he’s coming.

“What the fuck! You told me you’re not coming,” JJ laughs, giving his sister a side hug. “You look good. You don’t look pale anymore.”

“I’m gonna be sick if you keep saying nice things to me,” (Y/N) rolls her eyes, though her insides are beaming. JJ has always been her number one supporter, and she loves her brother with all her heart.

“Just don’t go to the other side of the beach, okay? All your friends are here.”

And we’re back to him protecting her.

She gets it, really, but she doesn’t feel like a night full of JJ and his friends becoming some sort of bodyguards to her.

The last thing she ever wants is for Rafe to think she’s still weak.

“J, I know.”

He holds both of his hands up, “I’m just saying. I’m by the fire if you ever need me, okay?”

It’s funny how the boy who cried to her over his scraped knee is the same boy who’s trying his best to protect her. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, all (Y/N) and JJ has is each other. 

(Y/N) walks to the music booth, getting so tired over the same artist being played over and over again. She doesn’t feel like listening to Drake all while trying to forget a certain brunette boy from the back of her head.

“Hey, can I get something different? Play the Euphoria soundtrack if you must. Anything other than the songs you’re playing.”

The DJ looks up to her and gives out the widest grin. (Y/N) tries to look away from the charming smile, but her eyes are glued to a pair of blue ones.

“Not a fan of Drake?”

“Nah.”

“Why? Trying to move on from an ex?”

She gulps, “No. Just have a good taste in music.”

The guy licks his teeth, “Touche. The name’s Nate.”

(Y/N) gives him a small grin, “Hm. Can we change the song now?”

Nate raises a brow because god; no one has ever disregard him. 

There’s something about the girl.

“Is Party In The USA good enough for you, princess?”

Her breath hitches. The last time someone has ever called her princess was probably a few weeks ago. 

This is not helping her to get over him.

“Whatever. You’re the DJ, right?” she answers, turning on her heels. “Oh wait, Nate?”

He smiles at her again, and (Y/N) has the urge to slap the smug look off his face.

“Don’t call me princess. You’re not my boyfriend.”

For the past 40 minutes, no Drake song has been playing. The crowd begins filling the empty space in the middle to dance with each other, and (Y/N) has to look away from the couple getting close and leaving kisses down each other’s necks.

She makes her way down to the drinks counter to get herself a beer because she really doesn’t feel like watching another friend of hers kissing their partners while sober. She decides that if she has to stay for another hour of people making out with each other, it’s better if she’s intoxicated.

“Hey.”

(Y/N) turns her back, expecting to see a drunk friend of hers, but the sight of the same DJ from before greets her.

She rolls her eyes, “I’m not asking you to change the music.”

“I know, I guess I started off wrong just now. Let me reintroduce myself. You deserve to know the real me.”

(Y/N) laughs, because this whole thing sounds like something out of a corny Netflix movie. He’s cute, sure, but she’s just not interested.

He removes the beanie he’s been wearing all night, revealing a blonde buzz cut underneath. (Y/N) tries not to stare.

Okay. Screw cute. He’s handsome. 

“Hi, I’m Nate. I’m from New York, and I just moved here.”

She smiles, finally, because he fits the exact image she has of every male teenager in New York. Blonde buzz cut, an unbuttoned blue shirt with a peak of his toned body underneath, and a pair of red shorts. 

A new kook.

“Nate, your kind and I don’t match. You’re a kook.”

He scrunches his face, “They’ve been telling me that shit since the first week I’ve been here-” he steps closer, and (Y/N) can smell his expensive cologne. It’s not the same one she favors on Rafe, but it’s close. “-don’t tell me you believe that stuff.”

Oh.

She grins, “I’m not rich, Nate.”

“So?”

Oh.

“The name’s (Y/N),” she smiles, extending her hand. Nate beams, because finally, after a whole night of watching her from his booth, she finally expresses the most beautiful smile there is. 

“(Y/N), I feel like we’re going to get closer soon.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“I’m not a Drake’s fan either.”

. . .

(Y/N)’s hesitant. 

She doesn’t believe him in one bit, not even when he flashes her the most charming smile ever. 

But he’s not afraid to show her off. She went on a date with him a few nights ago, and she distanced herself from him upon the entrance of the restaurant.

“What the fuck are you doing? C’mere.”

(Y/N) looked up to him, “You don’t have to stay near with me.”

Nate turned to her with a confused expression. “Why? I’m buying you dinner, remember?”

He held her hands in his, and she let him.

Nate pokes her side and suppresses a giggle when she yelps from the sudden touch. He fails, however, when she falls from his bed onto the floor. 

“You’re too ticklish,” he says and helps her up to her feet. Her eyes wander to the band posters on his wall again, being so amazed and surprised by this boy’s taste in music and movies.

“I don’t even listen to half of the bands you listen to,” she says finally, pulling herself down to the empty space beside him. “Do you know who’s Ariana Grande?”

Nate rolls his eyes, “Ha-ha. No. I don’t. Is she the one who sang Despacito or something?”

(Y/N) laughs and her heart suddenly soars. She feels at ease, and there’s lightness in the air, even when they’re in public.

(Y/N) stands up, taking the full room into view again, and walks to the shelf full of pictures of Nate and his family. There’s a picture of him in a soccer jersey, a picture of him playing the drums and then an electric guitar, and-

“Oh my god, is this your girlfriend?” (Y/N) exclaims, picking up a photo frame with a beautiful brunette girl smiling back at her. “She’s so pretty.”

“(Y/N), put it back,” Nate rolls his eyes, standing up from the comfort of his bed and walking towards her. (Y/N) laughs, liking the way his eyebrows scrunch in distress and hides the photo frame behind her.

“(Y/N). . . I’m not playing.”

“No one is playing, Nate,” she laughs, taking a few steps back as he motions forward. “I can’t believe you have a sweetheart back in NYC, Nate.”

“(Y/N), put it back.”

(Y/N) pulls a confused expression, “Put what back?” she brings the frame forward, and expressed a fake sigh. “Oh, this? I was just checking this out-” Nate charges for her and she squeals, running towards the end of his room and watching as he runs in her direction. She panics, looking around for a place to hide, and as her eyes meet his bed, Nate has the same idea in his head.

He pushes her over his bed so she topples over, the frame still in her hands. She yelps, leaving the frame alone and using both of her hands to push his chest away. 

Nate hovers over her, being so close he can smell her sweet scent now, and she looks so good under his yellow lights and in his bed and that goddamn smirk on her face-

“Is she your girlfriend, Nate?”

“None of your concern, princess,” he answers. Her eyes snap down to the cross dangling from his neck, and he can’t do this anymore; not when she looks so pretty under his gaze.

(Y/N) can feel the sudden change in the air now, and the chasing game they’ve been playing suddenly doesn’t look like a chasing game.

He’s like a predator waiting to attack. 

(Y/N)’s eyes look up to him again. “Is she your girlfriend?”

And he connects his lips with her. She gasps from the sudden touch, but after a few seconds, he can feel her kissing him back. 

And for once, she feels okay again. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him close to her and letting his warmth engulfing her.

She feels at peace.

“Rafe,” she whispers, letting the blonde boy trails down to her neck.

Nate pulls away, his lips sore and red after their brief makeout session.

Chest heaving, he steps away. “Rafe?”

(Y/N) sits up, groaning and fixing her hair. “God, I’m so stupid. I don’t mean that, Nate, I’m sorry. Please, don’t go.”

Nate pulls a disgusted face, and it’s the same look Rafe had put in the party a few weeks ago to her and she can feel herself losing again. 

“I’m going out. You can stay here if you want.”

“Nate-”

The door closes behind him, and (Y/N) groans. 

Way to go, (Y/N).

. . .

She hates how bad she feels for Nate.

He has been nothing but a total sweetheart to her, and there she was; moaning another guy’s name and letting him walked out of his own home.

So that’s the core reason as to why she’s standing outside of his house at 10 p.m. on a Friday, letting the heavy rain soaks her whole outfit because of course she would forget to bring an umbrella.

She knocks again, with her fists this time, because she’s certain he hadn’t heard her. For a moment, she’s afraid his father or mother would open the door but after remembering how they’re going to be away for a business trip, she sighs in relief. 

The door opens midway of her banging on the door, revealing a shirtless Nate with nothing but green sweatpants complimenting his legs.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” he groans, tugging her arms in and closing the door after her. (Y/N) attacks him in a tight hug, slightly shivering from the cold rain outside, and after a few seconds, Nate hugs her back.

“You’re okay?”

“Can we talk in your room?”

“Uh, I don’t-”

(Y/N) doesn’t let him give any excuse and she pulls him into the living room, but before she can reach the space, he pulls her to a halt.

“Hey, we can’t go there, I’m kinda, um, doing something. What’s wrong?”

She sighs, “Nate, I’m so sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it when I called you someone else’s name and that’s the stupidest thing I ever did but please don’t go, okay? You’re all I have.”

Nate laughs, “God, you’re really worried about that? I get it, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

“It is, really. But tell me one thing, though-” he pulls her arms, and pins her against the wall. (Y/N) smiles, staring into his blue orbs. “Is this Rafe more handsome than me?”

“Hey man, we really can’t wait-” a voice starts from the direction of the living room, and before (Y/N) can move away, the voice rings again. “Ah. Of course.”

Oh my god.

She misses him too much. His hair is messier than ever, his eyes bloodshot and his nose red. (Y/N) wonders how many lines he did, but judging from the distant look in his eyes, she’s guessing a lot.

“Rafe,” she whispers, getting closer to the boy she missed and letting his smell engulf her. 

“Rafe?” Nate quirks a brow because this isn’t making any sense. Why would she called his friend the name-

Of course.

Rafael is Rafe.

So this is the guy.

His childhood friend is ‘the Rafe’ of the girl he’s starting to fall for.

After so many hours of trying to find the Rafe she accidentally called him, he hadn’t thought of his own childhood friend to be the guy all along.

Growing up, he have been told to call him Rafael up until the day he moved to New York. 

He can’t believe it.

“Rafe,” she calls again, this time following Rafe out to the living room. “Rafe, listen to me.”

“You moved on too fast.”

“I haven’t moved on, Rafe, fuck, I swear I haven’t,” she expresses. “Please. Listen to me.”

“You were mad at me for doing a line from some bitch’s back and you’re, you’re o-out here, under my own fucking friend’s arms and- did y’all fucked?”

“What?” she gasps, “God, Rafe, no. No. I will never fuck anyone other than you.”

“Yeah?” Rafe raises a brow and lets out a shrill laugh. “God, I don’t even know if I can trust you.”

“You can, Rafe,” she steps forward, trying to reach his face with her cold fingers. The anger she felt before suddenly dissipates into the thin air because god, she did not realize how much she has been missing this boy more than anything in the world.

Her everything.

Rafe flinches away, “Stop. Do you know how miserable I am the past few weeks without you?”

“Don’t turn this on me now, Rafe.” “And you’re out here with fucking Nate Hamilton. Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Rafe, it’s not like that,” Nate suddenly steps in, and (Y/N) gives him a warning look not to say anything more. He ignores her, “Are we not going to talk about how you disregard her just because of her status on this fucking island?”

“God, always with your equality shit,” Rafe groans. “You guys deserve each other. I can’t believe you will ever do this to me, Nate.”

What hurt Rafe more isn’t the fact that she was all pinned under his arms, but it was because Nate knew about their relationship. Rafe had told him everything about her ever since they first started dating, and he hadn’t just lost her tonight.

He lost his childhood friend too.

“I’m leaving,” he says, rubbing his nose and sniffing. Rafe isn’t sure how many lines he has done, but his mind is getting lighter and lighter and the lights are turning blurry. 

He can’t stand being in the same room as them. He will fucking drive if he has to.

(Y/N) bites her lips, trying to stop herself from bursting into tears. So they know each other? Why won’t Rafe ever tell her about him? Is this still her fault? She wasn’t even cheating on him. They’re not together.

Right?

Are they together?

“Hey, you’re okay?”

(Y/N) pulls her hands away, stepping away from the blonde boy and walking towards the exit. She has to leave this house as soon as possible. The once comforting bright color of the wall seems so dull and suffocating now, and she longs for the familiar blue paint of Rafe’s room.

She wants Rafe. 

No one else.

Just him.

“Just me?” Rafe smiled. “Hey, hey, I got a surprise for you.”

“Rafe, I hate surprises,” (Y/N) groaned, throwing her head back against the headrest. “You bought me a dress before!”

“Look-” he smiled, showing her a gold ring in a small velvet box. “It’s a ring.”

“Oh my god, it looks like yours!” (Y/N) exclaimed, clutching his hand with the ring and comparing the color. 

“Of course it’s the same ring. You’re my wife, I’m not going to buy you a different kind.”

“Wife?”

“What? Am I not your husband?”

(Y/N) wishes for nothing but Rafe. 

She presses on his contact again, turning her phone downside and moving the speaker nearer to her lips.

“Rafe, please call me back. I miss you, and we can fix this, okay? I didn’t know about Nate and I was so, so stupid. I can never replace you, Rafe. You’re mine, remember? Please. Call me back. I miss you.”

She sighs, setting her phone down on her lap and watches as the rain patters down her front windscreen heavily.

Love is a hell of a drug.

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia @alwaysclassyeagle @rottenstyx @wxn-drlst

[headingalaxys-sweet]

Hetalia X Reader Neko’s brought me to my lover

America

It was a blistering Summer’s day in Austin,Texas. Alfred had finished cleaning his RAM-1500 that had been caked in mud from the sudden downpour that happened when he was on his way home from work. He wasn’t fond of being rained on during his favorite season of the year but that's what he gets for living in the ‘weird’ part of Texas. Now that he could finally give his beloved cat a bath while he was already soaking wet. His dampened white collared shirt showcased his 6-pack and toned arms.

“America! Where are you bud?” He called out across his yard. “I’ll give you beef jerky if you come out now dude!” He trugged around his fresh-cut lawn to find his rambunctious cat. A few minutes go by before Alfred begins to worry. He yells about the prospect of food one more time just in case that does the trick. It doesn’t.

“Strange…that usually gets him flying out from wherever he hides.”

‘Where could that damned cat be this time?’

Meanwhile…….

America-Cat was having a blast teasing a Great Schnauzer and flicking his fluffy beige tail at the giant dog.

“Can’t catch me sucka MEOW! Ahahahahah!” He continued to back that ass up at the Schnauzer.

I died writing this line. XD

Having too much fun participating in his own antics he failed to notice that there was a broken piece of the fence that caught onto his back paw.

“MEOWWWWWWW!” America-cat yelled to the heavens. The fence creaked and snapped from the jarring movements. The beige cat came tumbling down with some of the fence now intact with its body.

“No more gyrating for you buddy boy!” The Schnauzer says amused that the cat got instant Karma for being an idiot.

“COOKIE! BAD DOG! DON’T HURT THE CAT!” Y/N called out panting trying to stop an ‘attack’ that would have gone down.

‘Fuck.’ Was all Cookie could think of.

Y/N a (hair color) woman ran up to the two animals. Cookie was embarrassed that the cat now knew its name. America-Cat gives Cookie a smirk as he now meow’d for attention, he pointed his paw where it hurt and tried to gingerly stretch it’s back leg out to show where the fence grabbed him.

“Oh you poor thing! Let’s get you to the vet! And Cookie no treats for you tonight. You know you shouldn’t run off like that and chase and injure a poor defenseless cat.” Cookie hung her head down in shame and put her tail under her. She didn’t like it when Y/N reprimanded her for something that she overall had no involvement in.

The Veterinarians

“Have you been able to contact the cats owner Mr. Jones?”

“Yeah, I have he’ll be in Jollyville in about 5 minutes. He’s from Austin.” Y/N says with confidence.

“Good if you want to see your new patched up pal you can. I’ll look out for his owner.”

Another 10 minutes goes by before you hear a heavy door slam into the cement wall. Just outside of the vet’s resting room for recovering pets and their owners. You see a sandy blonde man with brilliant blue eyes that had tears of joy coming from them rushing towards you and his beloved cat.

“America! You crazy cat! I love you bro but you have to stop spooking me like this.” Alfred hurriedly scoops his cat into his arms and gives him a tight squeeze.

“I’m just glad you’re alive dude!” He gives his cat a forehead kiss and turns his attention to y/n. She must have had a love pistol of sorts because his heart began to race with adrenaline and dopamine. He’d never seen someone as strikingly beautiful as y/n.

“Thanks for finding and taking care of him dudette.” Alfred says casually trying not to let the rush of passion and butterflies in his stomach subdue him. ‘This woman is a knockout.’

“No problem! Now that you’re here I’ll head out!” Glad the ordeal was over and you could maybe sneak a nap in after walking Cookie. As you being to take your leave Alfred grabs your wrist.

“Wait … I really want to repay you for saving my cat. Are you down for dinner sometime?”

Well he was handsome & you weren’t going to tell him ‘no.’ ;)

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential