#but for piano... yeesh.

[you-are-constance]

i keep thinking that im like. doing fine. but then i realize that i have about two weeks (or less) to:

fully memorize and finish prepping my concerto for string juries

memorize jazz standards and have an orchestral excerpt all the way ready for bass juries

learn and memorize my piece for my piano class

co-write a 5 page paper and give a presentation for a group project

be able to play a Mozart symphony well for orchestra

be able to play all 4 of the tunes for my jazz band (i am not good at many of them)

umm. i also probably have some assignments and an exam for my music theory class. but that is like the only class that im not actually worried about right now.

[vibrantvenus]

Twitter is so funny bc why the fuck is this my most popular tweet ever already

[matcha-milkies]

MARRIED LIFE

Summary: Bill Cipher gets everything he ever wanted, including (especially) a “marriage” to his favorite human. Ford and Stan disagree about where to go from here.

Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines

Content Warnings: Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, (Forced) Alcohol Use

Tags: Triangle Bill, Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, Bill Cipher Wins, Collars

Word Count: 1,556

Link to AO3: Here

A/N: I don’t know yet whether I’ll post a second chapter. Perhaps! These gay little cartoon characters sure are fun to write.

Ford looked out over the sprawling destruction that was Gravity Falls. One arm crossed over his abdomen, in the other he nursed a cocktail glass topped off with swirling golden liquid. Bill was none too pleased if he came back and there was ever any left, but Ford could only stand so much of the stuff in one gulp. Besides, if he drank too quickly, the toll on his body was nothing to scoff at. He still had no idea what was even in it. Every time he had asked, Bill’s eye had simply creased in silent amusement, or else he had gone on talking like the man had never said anything.

Little fires dotted the landscape all over. Well, they weren’t so little, were they? Ford always made himself sick with these viewing sessions, but it was the only stimulating thing to do around here, aside from pinging out notes on the piano. And besides, why should he be spared from all the misery? If he was sheltered from it, up in his obsidian tower, the very least he could do was feel bad about it. He took another sip from his glass and grimaced. Great Scott, that was disgusting.

“Sixer?” The name sent unpleasant ripples across Ford’s nerves, but when he turned and saw his twin’s face, he let himself relax. A little.

“Stanley, you’re alright.”

“I better be. That was part of the deal and all…” Stan dusted off the sleeves of his suit, looking around. “Wouldn’t want you, uh… suffering for nothing.” His eyes traveled from the painting over the fireplace and then to the lavish, dark red robe Ford had cinched around his waist.

“Bill had a different flavor of suffering in mind for me.” As if to punctuate that statement, he tilted back his drink and nearly coughed it up again.

“Yeesh.”

“It tastes like bitter defeat,” Ford explained. He saw the face his brother was making. “I’m not being poetic, Stanley. He somehow made it taste like the actual poignant sting of failure. I would offer you to try some if I didn’t think it was slowly poisoning me.”

“Yeah, pass on that one. Why don’t you just dump it out in the sink? You do have a sink in here, don’t you?”

“Ah, yes, of course, why didn’t I think of that?” Ford’s expression softened, and he sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be snippy. It’s just… He would know. By the time I’m to the bottom of one of these, I’m… different. For quite some time.”

Stan seemed to be snapping these pieces together in his head, the drink, the robe, the golden “wedding band” around Ford’s throat. Clearly, it was forming a picture he didn’t like. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”

Ford eyed him and then let his gaze drop.

“Poindexter? You’ve been thinkin’ up a plan, right?”

“Of course I have! Every second of every hour, and I just keep hitting dead ends. He’s virtually omnipotent. I’m bound by contract to him, and even me thinking of ways to get out of it could give him a reason to renege on his end of the deal and hurt you! Or worse, the kids!”

“So that’s just it?! We lie down and roll over?!”

“I-I don’t know, Stanley. I’m mated.” Off his brother’s look, he added, “That’s a chess term.”

“I-I know it is! But could you not use it next time?”

Ford sank down onto the flesh couch. He hated that it hardly bothered him anymore. “Maybe this is it. Maybe… I’m meant to accept this fate, as punishment for—”

“Stop! Stop that! Do you hear yourself?” Stan strode forward until he was in his brother’s face. “You’re this pathetic? You hand the universe over to Bill Cipher on a silver platter and then give up?! You’re probably the only one smart enough to think up a way out of this mess, so how about less wallowing and more scheming?! Who cares what happens to me?!”

Ford screwed his eyes shut as he was berated. “I do! What kind of idiotic question is that?”

“And the kids, you want them to grow up in a world where Bill Cipher is king?!”

“Of course not, but you don’t know the things he’d do to them if I acted out, Stan! He’s not going to spare them because they’re children! He will torture them!”

Stan smacked the glass out of Ford’s hand. It shattered on the floor. Ford gaped. “Stan, you shouldn’t have—”

“I don’t care what he thinks! Neither should you!”

“Stop framing it like I’m on his side!”

“Aren’t you, now?!”

“I’m only trying to be pragmatic about our options! And thank God I am, or who knows where we’d all be right now?!”

Ford froze then, his muscles tensing at a familiar presence in the room.

“YIKES. Who knew the family reunion would get this VOLATILE?” Bill circled them with glee, his eye trained on them all the while. “HEY, I guess I’m part of the family now too, isn’t that right, Fez?” He looped an arm around a growling Stanley and wiggled his ring finger. “We’re brothers-in-law! Ha! Who would’ve thought?”

“Bill.” Ford’s breaths were painfully shallow. “I—”

“And Sixer!” Bill was suddenly in his face, his eye taking up the majority of Ford’s field of vision. “I had NO IDEA you thought about me this much when I’m away! That’s so sweet!” With no warning, his eye turned to a mouth and trailed saliva up Ford’s cheek and temple, leaving his glasses askew and his face scrunched up in distaste. The demon’s eye blinked back to normal. “WELL? Where’s my WELCOME HOME KISS?”

Once he had gathered himself enough, Ford leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on Bill’s face, near the corner of his eye. Bill giggled like a little schoolgirl.

“OH NO. It looks like somebody was REAL CLUMSY! Let me refresh your drink, doll!” The shattered glass reassembled itself and floated into Ford’s hand. The liquid leached out of the carpet, pouring itself back into place. “You hardly drank any! Here, let me help with that.”

“Bill—” was all Ford managed before his head was tilted back and about half of the glass’s contents were dumped down his throat. He gagged and almost choked, but somehow got it all down. When he was allowed to hold his head upright again, he found it quite the effort to do so. His brain felt fuzzy and full of cotton. There was a weird glittery filter over the world. He felt far more relaxed, despite the pounding point of tension persisting at the back of his mind. Any worry was now faint, like a distant star.

“Ford!” Stan shouted, but it was difficult to care that that was happening.

“Mhm,” was all he said in response, finally letting his head loll and his eyes close. “Mmm.”

“He’s just so TENSE all the time,” Bill explained casually. “This is how I get him to LOOSEN UP. And hey, I guess it makes it harder for him to YELL at you too. You’re welcome.”

“You’re sick, you three-sided freak!” Stan shook his fist, almost like a threat, as if he could do anything to the dream demon. “I’ll end you!”

“DOING AWAY WITH THE PRETENSE, HUH?”

“Pretense,” Ford laughed for some reason, stretching himself across the full length of the couch and propping his head up with his forearm. This seemed to delight Bill, who began petting through the man’s hair.

“IT IS A PRETTY FUNNY WORD, ISN’T IT, IQ?” The demon swirled the drink a little and then brought it to Ford’s lips.

“Mhm,” Ford agreed, his response partially muffled by the glass as he sipped down more of the mysterious golden liquor.

“SEE? I enjoy the MENTAL SPARRING, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes that big brain of his gets in the way.” Bill affectionately tapped the side of Ford’s head as he let the quarter-full drink hang in midair. “ANYHOO.” He rotated to face Stan head-on; the movement was uncanny. “You should get back to the twins! Cook up another adorable scheme that’s doomed to fail! Sixer and I will watch from up here!”

“S’anley,” Ford slurred, shaking his head in protest, but he didn’t get very far in his thought before Bill pressed the rim of the glass to his lips again. “B- ill– please- I-I can… can’t…” The room was spinning now, violently, and he felt like he was going to be sick. It was like he was speedrunning a very bad hangover.

“SURE YOU CAN! Don’t worry, I won’t let you throw up.” Another pat on the head, and Ford groaned his distress as his throat bobbed and the last of the liquid disappeared down his esophagus.

“Unh… S’an… Stan…” His head dropped onto the couch, eyes struggling to focus.

“Sixer.” Stan started towards his twin, but before he could make it more than two steps, Bill snapped his fingers and Stan was gone, returned to where he’d come from. The demon sank onto the couch and arranged Ford until his head was on his lap (however much of a lap Bill had), fingers continuing to card through his hair.

“Come on. Don’t look at me like that, Fordsy. The relatives can come to visit another time.”

[44-mr-midnight-44]

"(FUCK YOU YOU AQUAMARINE ANGRY LITTLE SHIT!)"

Atop the tall podium, rinsed in an iridescent, golden hue, a celestial rim washing down each corner; trimmed by a dusty silver, shivering with a pearly shine.

"[WHAT DID I DO, HUH? EXACTLY WHAT? DID I STAND WRONG? DID MY EYESIGHT MAKE YOU JEALOUS? AM I OFFENDING YOU WITH MY ABILITY TO SHUT UP?]"

The audience, cornered in the nooks of their seats, twitched and bowed at the rancorous uproar.

"(WELL IIIIIII'M SORRY, I HAD TO CARRY US ALLLLLL THE WAY HERE, YOU GODDAMN CUCK!)"

"Guys…" A well-heighted man, head the shape and hue of a noble planet. "You both won, you don't have to–"

"[WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'CARRY', YOU TURKEY-BRAINED BODY ODOUR-FRAGRANTED PURPLE MASS OF DEPRESSED RODENTS?]" Mind tightly roared from the crease of his lips, whipping his brand new sun trophy onto the podium; a hard, metallic clatter snapping into the flooring. "[IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE INFORMATION OUT THERE ABOUT OUR RIGHTS TO THIS SEAT!]"

"(ARE YOU KIDDING? EVERY CHONNY JASH FAN LOVES ME! I'VE GOT FUCKING APOLOGISTS! YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE WHO FRAME YOU AS THE NARRATIVE'S VILLAIN 'COS YOU SUCK THAT BAD!)"

"[YEAH, AND WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SET UP YOUR KEYBOARDS? AND TRANSLATED SHEET MUSIC INTO SOMETHING YOUR SORRY ASS COULD UNDERSTAND? AND–]"

"(SHUT–)"

"[AND FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET UP YOUR STUPID FUCKING AIR-CONDITIONER, BECAUSE–]"

"(I PAY FOR YOUR PAINKILLER PRESCRIPTION!)"

"['(OHHHHH, I CAN'T FOCUS IN THE HEAT! BUT I WEAR BAGGY HOODIES AND TWO-LAYERED PYJAMAS AND)–']"

"(AT LEAST I DON'T EAT MY GOLDFISHES!)"

"[AT LEAST I DON'T PLAY FNAF SONGS ON THE PIANO AT FOUR IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!]"

"(I WROTE THE BEST SONGS FOR OUR ALBUM! WITHOUT ME, OUR STORY OF HOW WE SUFFERED (MOSTLY BECAUSE OF YOU) WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN KNOWN!)"

"[NAME ONE PERSON WHO USES GOOD DAY AS AUDIO!]"

Words torn from mouth and crashing into each timorous ear surrounding the two, pronounced in a very ired, Australian tongue.

Arms furiously stretched and swung and feet stamped to enunciate visible outrage.

"Yeesh, Moon… I always thought our relationship was bad, but it seems like sun and moons across the universe can get so much worse…" Sun shivered, a quick tug on his coarse yet metallic collar, punctuated by a swift glance to his lunar counterpart. "Over where we're from, we have to deal with living in a giant animatronic mall and occasionally the works of cross-dimensional madness. But over there, it seems to me they really need to learn a lesson about getting along!"

"I could take them in a fight with a small dresser tied to my dominant hand." Moon stared, unblinking, body as stiff as a long rock.

The other contestants watched as the words were rocked and tossed in a staggering hatred.

At one point, Heart's wings had enlarged to mimic that of a threatened bird inflating its stance to appear larger; Mind's chest hummed with the overwork of his fans.

Suns and moons from all sorts of solar systems stationed across the multiverse watched in horror.

Two of them were those guys from Nimona, but I don't know dick about shit about Nimona so you gotta use your imagination for that one.

"Right right, you two have your trophy, just…" The celestial staff member disarmingly motioned their hands, gazing down at the two halves. "What are you going to do with your prize money?"

"(Oh, I'm probably gonna use it on an invasive wildflower and a seven hundred AUD life-sized Lopunny plush.)"

"[To pay off my severe prescription zolmitriptan debt that I'm four months behind on because I spent half my yearly salary on a car that I ended up crashing because of a migraine.]"

Happy tiny niche fandom winning against FNaF and Nimona for all who celebrate

Reblogs > Likes

[cornertheculprit]

phoenix is so committed to his piano bit in aa4 it's so funny. when he was like "i was going to that indochine pasta joint, alden tae's. i play piano there, of course." for some reason i just fucking lost it. i wonder how many other places he claims to play piano at just to see apollo's reaction. they pass a bowling alley and phoenix is like yeah i play piano here. they pass a laundromat and phoenix is like yeah i play piano here too. they pass a nursing home and phoenix opens his mouth and apollo tries to beat him to it by going let me GUESS mr. wright. you play piano HERE too? and phoenix is just like yeesh don't get so prickly. i was going to say i play kazoo here. and apollo just stands there going ?????!??!?!!?!?! until phoenix without breaking eye contact pulls a kazoo out of his hoodie pocket and starts producing the most ear-splitting noises known to mankind. and then apollo kills him

[fools-fall-much-too-soon]

LEON RAHHHHHH (character sheet?)

I've been working on a Leon that I felt comfy drawing and here he finally is!! I'm not sure of my handwriting is legible so I've transcribed all the headcanons going up and down the columns left to right under the cut! (Reblogs are appreciated MWAH)

ADHD haver :D

Hungover + trying to not look too tired @ the briefing (fail)

Lightens hair (naturally brown) darkens w/ age

Chews on the inside of his lip

Raised Catholic + feels naked w/o a crucifix even tho he's not religious anymore

Pockets always full of random, but likely useful stuff (pen, lighter, lockpick)

Struggled w/ following rules vs following morals as a kid/teen bc he wanted to be "good"

Still prays when he misses his parents... He was 11 when they were killed in a drug-related dispute. He loves them, but resents them still

Frayed jeans (to look cool... He's a bit vain + fashionable)

Short king(?) -5'7

INTENSE imposter syndrome

Everyone thinks he's mean B4 they get to know him... He doesn't understand why lmao

Actually medium ugly, but he grooms himself + dresses cool so everyone thinks he's hot :P

CONSTANTLY mumbling nonsense to himself + doesn't realize

Never knows what to do w/ his hands, has very pretty piano fingers

Plethora of cool jackets + likes grunge style clothing/music

Kinda clumsy + ditzy when not on missions. He works best under stress (yikes)

Taught himself to play guitar + bass!!

Loved Disney as a kid... Now he sleeps the second a movie is on

Refuses to admit he has a drinking problem bc he doesn't want to be like his parents (oops)

Bisexual but hasn't found much time for dating since RCI

Still trying to convince himself that his "beard" will fill in when he "grows up" (it won't)

"hmm?"

Bonafide cutie pie

Not consistent w/ coloring his hair. Fucked it up once + now gets it done professionally

LOUD ASS laugh when it's genuine + doesn't hide his snorts once he's comfy w/ you

'98 Leon

Learned to cut his own hair but doesn't do it anymore

Damnation

He-man was his queer awakening

"yeesh"

RE6

"HA! snort"

RE4

Was blonde as a kid, dyed his hair black in highschool but bleached it. That's why it's orange in resi2

[doodledoesthing3]

*BLASTS YOU WITH SMILING CRITTERS OC MEET UP*

If Harper and Hyper ever met, this would be their dynamic! Harper knows how to deal with hyper people *cough cough Her Girlfriend tends to get very excited when she starts talking about her interests cough cough* so she’ll just let it happen. Have two little oneshots that have been living in my mind rent free!

Oneshot 1:

HyperHumor: Hey Harper, can I ask you something?

Harper Barker: What is it?

HyperHumor: I know that you live in this different universe and all, but um… What the heck happened to your CatNap?

Harper Barker: Huh? What do you mean?

HyperHumor: Well in my universe, CatNap is all sleepy and not very talkative. Your CatNap is all…

*she takes a glance at SV!CatNap who’s talking and referring to his friends as the voices*

HyperHumor: …Depressing. Like what happened to him? He’s all sleep deprived and talkative, even his ear is messed up!

*HyperHumor points towards SV!CatNap whose right ear is missing a piece.*

Harper Barker: Oh, something about my boss’s husband trapping him somewhere and they got into a fight. My boss’s husband won the fight, obviously, and CatNap’s ear is a result of that.

HyperHumor: Yikes… I have another question.

Harper Barker: Shoot it.

HyperHumor: Why is he calling his friends ‘The Voices’?

Harper Barker, whispers: I think he’s finally lost it. They just fell from the sky one day after being missing for years and they’ve been following him around ever since.

HyperHumor: Dang! Do you know why DogDay and the others have scars?

Harper Barker: I have no clue and I don’t wanna know. It’s not my problem to deal with them, my problem is with CatNap.

HyperHumor: Uh huh… Can I ask one last question?

Harper Barker: Sure, I guess.

HyperHumor: Why do you look like DogDa-

Harper Barker: ALRIGHT, THATS ENOUGH QUESTIONS FOR ME! Go bother CatNap now.

Oneshot 2:

HyperHumor: Woah! So you’re the CatNap of this universe?

SV! CatNap: Yep!

HyperHumor: You look awful.

SV! CatNap: Well that’s what happens when your friends go missing for years.

HyperHumor: And the spa was too busy for years to take care of those eye bags?

SV! CatNap: Haha. You must a real comedian from whatever universe you came from.

HyperHumor: At least my CatNap doesn’t have eye bags for days.

SV! CatNap: Well at least…um, at least I…. I don’t have any comebacks for that one.

*SV! CatNap notices HyperHumor staring at something above him.*

SV! CatNap: What?

*he looks up and sees a piano above him*

SV! CatNap: Son of a-

*The piano falls on top of him*

HyperHumor: He’ll be fine… I think.

*Harper Barker walks over to HyperHumor while drinking some boba*

Harper Barker: Yeesh, what happened here?

HyperHumor: You threw a piano on top of CatNap.

Harper Barker: No I didn’t? I was at a boba shop.

HyperHumor: Then who did- oh wait there’s a note on top of the piano.

*HyperHumor takes the note and reads it out loud*

HyperHumor: ‘Hey Harps! You left this piano back at the house, so I decided to drop it off for you while you were at work. Love you lots, Centipede <3’

Harper Barker: Aww! She remembered where I wanted the piano to be!

HyperHumor: You have a girlfriend named Centipede?

Harper Barker: What? No, Centipede is one of my nicknames for her.

HyperHumor: Oh, that makes sense but why would she sign the note with her one of nicknames though?

Harper Barker: ‘Cause she knows that I prefer no one at work knowing her real name.

HyperHumor: Huh, that’s weird-

SV! CatNap, who’s still underneath the piano: SOMEONE HELP ME!

HyperHumor belongs to @that1garrulousfan!

Harper Barker and SV! CatNap belongs to me!

(For anyone wondering what SV (Smiling Voices)! CatNap looks like, take a look down here!)

[roseytheteacup]

How about some platonic yandere diabolik lovers boys with a human kid head canons if that’s something your comfortable doing

Yes I'm okay with that mind I'm pretty tired right now but I will do my best

-Sakamakis

When you get dropped off on their doorstep the first thinking you were either lost or you were a kid trying to pull a prank

And when you explain to them your parents just left you there,they kinda aren't a bit surprised I mean their parents were awful so they weren't surprised human parents were cruddy too

After they let you in the house depending on what type of kid you are so say you were what my siblings are "hellspawn" children then Reiji might put you in the corner or make you write something a 100 times.

But if you are what some might call mature for your age Ayato will most likely say something witty "Awww look its a mini pain in my -"*sees Reiji* "I mean you wanna show me what your reading hehe"

I see them liking more to chaotic neutral children someone who is mildly chaotic but also a calm sense

The reason I see this is because Ayato,Laito,Kanato seem a bit more roubounksious(I hope i spell it right) then the rest of their brothers, so they need someone who can keep up with their level of energy when per say when Ayato wants to teach you basketball or when Kanato wants you to play dress up with him or when Laito needs someone to play piano with him

While on the other hand Reiji,Shu,Subaru are more calm so a calmer child they will get along with

Reiji will either read you some of the books he gotten,or teach you some *CHILD SAFE* experiments

Ps he's great with getting help with homework

Shu would let you take naps with him or let you listen to music with him but you will especially take naps if you don't have a steady sleep schedule

Subaru will probably take you to the garden and teach you how to take care of the roses and teach you self defense

All in all they seem great if your chaotic neutral but if your a "hellspawn" yeesh just run ok run

-Mukami's

same situation with them though but they can take kids who are bit more hyperactive

Ruki will teach you about different cultures and how to cook simple meals until your old enough to learn how to use the stove

Yuma will teach you to garden and will take you to the park

Kou will teach you sing or play a instrument or if you are interested in fashion will teach you some sewing tricks

Azusa will show you his knife collection,and other trinkets he collected I can not tell you how much he cried when you brought him a bag of random little shiny things and the sword you stole from the sakamakis

AKA they knew it was you but they don't mind since they don't really use them though they were mad you gave it to one of them "dead" pest

I'm sorry if this was bad I"m tired and due to a ganglion cyst on my hand my hand will randomly fall asleep due to it,but I hope you enjoyed this

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

Weww more SK AU questions~

SK au questions

Do the bois play any instruments? Or any they would like to play? (I've got a feeling Sun would just...[daycare theme intensifies]

Does anyone in the apartment complex Sun stay in have a cat? If so, would Sun pop around and pet cat if he's stressed or just sees the kitty walking around?

Have they taken any torture inspirations from watching anime? (Eg. The kaneki ken torture scene)

Just a question I've had since you added the torture scene in chap 2. So Sun's voice buzzes when he's pissed, can it glitch out if he really really gets mad? (feral sun my beloved)

Hopefully I'm not distracting you with these questions. Brain just goes ree at times. Have a good day!

I'm sure they have the knowledge to know how to play an instrument. I think Moon would like the piano, and Sun would like the guitar.

I can't remember if there is a no-pets rule at the apartment. But if someone did own a cat, I'm sure the owners wouldn't mind Sun playing with it a little. And if there is a no-pet rule, Moon would take Sun to the pet shelter.

I'm sure they have. I know what scene you're talking about and...yeesh, that was uncomfortable (but still good).

I wouldn't say his voice glitches, but it does get loud. Like feedback through a speaker. Plus the boys twitch a lot when they're enraged.

and no worries, I appreciate your questions!

[artzychic27]

How would SB & IB Gabriel and Nathalie react to their canon counterparts?

SB&IB!Gabriel: Yeesh. Who shoved a stick up this guy's ass?

Canon!Gabriel: And who taught you to allow your son to run around embarrassing the brand with his unkempt hair?

SB&IB!Gabriel: Excuse you, but Adrien is doing more good than harm for the brand. He's grade representative at his school, helps to promote his friends' start-up businesses and any charities they work for, and he still has time to occasionally model.

Canon!Nathalie: His schedule is obviously all over the place.

SB&IB!Nathalie: ... His school schedule? No, it's perfectly fine.

Canon!Nathalie: I meant his daily schedule. Mandarin lessons, basketball practice, photoshoots, fencing, piano, weekly weigh-in-

SB&IB!Gabriel: I beg your pardon? No offense, but that schedule seems all over the place, and a bit much. If he's doing all of those activities on weekends-

Canon!Nathalie: Adrien's schedule goes all through the week.

SB&IB!Gabriel: WHAT?! When does he have time to socialize with kids his age? When does he have time to make terrible choices that he'll regret when he gets older?

SB&IB!Nathalie: I'm sorry, back to that weigh-in.

Canon!Gabriel: It is necessary to monitor his weight so he looks presentable in photos.

SB&IB!Nathalie: Oh my God! No wonder he looks like a twig! You're not feeding him enough! He must be malnourished!

SB&IB!Gabriel: I'm afraid I am going to have to call child services.

Canon!Gabriel: You will do no such thing!

SB&IB!Gabriel: Oh, try me, candy-cane man.

SB&IB!Emilie: *Walks down the stairs* Is everything alright, Gabriel?

SB&IB!Gabriel: Everything is fine dear, but Adrien may be getting a brother.

Canon!Gabriel: E... Emilie?!

Canon!Nathalie: You have got to be kidding me.

Canon!Gabriel: ... How is this possible?! The Miraculous left her comatose!

SB&IB!Gabriel: Miraculous? Like what Scarlet Beetle, Ikati Black, and Monarch have?

Canon!Gabriel: Who's Monarch in this universe?

SB&IB!Emilie: What's this about me being comatose?

[dancing-to-architecture]

10 of 1001

Today's album: Meatloaf - Bat Out of Hell (1977)

The Loaf arrives!

Now, here is an album cover that I've always thought looked cool as hell since i first saw it in my dad's milk crate full of LPs, but i never got around to actually listening to it (mostly because i was really into the Beatles at that point in time, specifically Sgt. Pepper, incidentally another one of the album covers of all time, and not long after my Beatles phase came the phase i call "the total collapse of my parents' marriage" which led to a distinct and immediate lack of access to any part of my dad's record collection from then on).

Okay, unnecessary family history corner is now over, time to start Loafing.

Right off the bat, before I've even hit play, i have to notice: 7 songs, 46+ minute runtime, which means that the average song length is over 6 minutes. Now, something like this can be as much a positive thing for me as a negative thing.

On the one hand, there's been The Doors' tiresome meandering and King Crimson's acid jazz (in that 'it's about the notes you don't play', and no notes were played for like 3 minutes), but on the other hand I'm also fairly into post-rock and i have, on multiple occasions, referred to a 20+ minute long song by Godspeed You! Black Emperor as "a banger". (Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls is a killer, fight me.) Then i remembered that this is Meatloaf, the King of the Power Ballad, and also that Paradise by the Dashboard Light is roughly 174 minutes long.

Bat Out of Hell-

This intro fucking rules! Goddamn, that piano player should be chained to a wall somewhere for pounding on those keys that hard.

Some really great lines here "nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole/

And everything is stunted and lost/

And nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls

And nothing's ever worth the cost." PREACH.

Man, so much happens in this one song. It's a love song, it's a one night stand song, it's got the sudden and violent death of the narrator/pov character in the opening song of what i was led to believe was a three-album rock opera-lite... Hell, I've written legitimate short stories where less plot happens than within this song.

You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)-

To know me is to know that I've offered my throat to much more dangerous things than the wolf with the red roses.

Kind of a repetitive chorus, but it's only 5 minutes long, how is *anybody* supposed to tell a story in that short of an amount of time? :V

Heaven Can Wait-

So i was *almost* in this play in high school and- oh, this is a different thing.

"And all i got is time until the end of time" is a great line.

Okay, for real, who was the pianist on this album? (Aside: Bat Out of Hell was composed by Jim Steinman, who has *one hell* of a Wikipedia page, and the piano played by Roy Bitten of the goddamned E STREET BAND. Wait, also mixed by Todd Rundgren? Hot damn, no wonder this is like the 6th best-selling album of all time.)

All Revved Up with No Place to Go-

Well that's some Springsteeny as FUCK horns there, huh?

And to be honest with you, Mr. Loaf? No, i don't really know what that's like. Most of the time I'm put into situations with little to no revving whatsoever, and it's infrequent that i really desire a place to go, especially if I'm already home.

The middle breakdown about drawing first blood just feels strange and kinda out of place to me, but i am Not a person who wrote three albums with combined 100 million units sold, so my opinion is just that.

The faster end right after that kicks some ass, though.

Two out of Three Ain't Bad-

Well the title is regarding what might be the most depressing sentiment i can think of.

And then the second verse starts and it stays sad, just in a dramatically different way. Sad in a "okay, yeesh, get over your old flame already, dude, you said it yourself, it's been YEARS" kind of way.

Like Stephen Stills said (7 years before this album came out): "if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with", because this? just ain't it. Open up your heart a bit.

Paradise By the Dashboard Light- I've heard this song a number of times throughout my life, and i don't think i ever clocked just how insanely horny it is.

I guess i never really thought too hard about the lyrics, mostly because the last time i heard this song it was on the radio and i was still a kid. The baseball announcer part is kinda clever about it at least.

Ellen Foley CRUSHES her part of the duet. It's like the power-belting is a competition between her and Loaf, and she's gonna get that fuckin gold, come hell or high water.

Also just saying, ladies, if you ask someone if they love you, and they say "uhh, get back to me on that one, i gotta sleep on it"? They don't, and they won't. Don't waste your time.

But that last line is still pretty hilarious, all said and done.

For Crying Out Loud-

Okay, if this album and the two after, the trinity of bats into and out of hell, are all supposed to be like one continuous story throughout, then this song's placement right after Paradise is incredibly darkly funny.

Also, do we really need the image of meatloaf's turgid hog ripping through his jeans, twice? in one song?

(It's not so explicit, but you tell me what "can't you see my faded Levi's bursting apart?" is regarding, because while Meatloaf was a bigger dude, i really don't think he's talking about splitting the seam on the ass, and there are definitely other rhymes for "heart".)

Also, another false ending with 3 minutes left in the song. These songs wouldn't be so long if you stopped *trying* to end them and just ended them, man. (I'm being facetious here, but only kinda.)

Overall, a really good album. I can easily see why it sold so many copies, but i was honestly expecting it to be a bit heavier, given how hard that cover art goes.

Favorite Track: Bat Out of Hell! That intro, the economy of storytelling within (it's. so. much. plot!), the piano is on fire, all in all just one (bat out of) hell of an opening song.

Least Favorite Track: initially, i was gonna say You Took the Words, mostly for the repetition at the close of it, but actually sitting down and reading the lyrics to Two Out of Three Ain't Bad REALLY killed that song for me. It is bad, and you should feel shame.

[signedeclipse]

hi hi!! i See you take matchups so I wanted to send one in if that’s okay with you and I’m sorry if you have a lot on your plate rn , but since I was matched up with a hashria before (it was mitsuri romantically) so I wanted to know which demon I would get matched up with platonically?

Anyways, firstly my name is Joey, im 14 years old, i use he/him prns, Im transgender aromatic and unlabeled, i have adhdism, my zodiac sign is ♒️ but the others are ♌️♐️♈️, MBTI is ENTP, my enneagram is 6, extroverted and that’s all for here

Personality: well I am a ENTP and my enneagram is a 6 but firstly when I meet someone I’m usually shy and awkward so I may not talk/feel comfortable much to that person until I get to know them more later on, i usually love to ramble about my interests a lot, I hate getting into drama bc it makes me emotional, I love to text on my technology a lot to my irl/online friends a lot and say stuff like “hai” and “im homophobic” as a joke😭 don’t take the second one seriously, and I also enjoy making sexual jokes to a person when I feel completely comfortable around them.

Looks: Im 5’6, I have a rectangular body shape as I have a more masculine looking body and I use binders, i have white skin, brown hair, hazel eyes, i wear a lot of different styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth and nu goth, gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, kogal and tsuyome), scenemo/emo, and vkei ouji and lolita and when I’m not wearing those styles I’m usually dressing plain usually at home like t-shirts(regular and anime ones and etc), jeans, sweat pants, and etc

also this is how I would see myself in demon form if I could (^^)

Interests/Hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, art(drawing, pottery, painting, digital art and more), fashion, playing basketball and volleyball, social media, cosplaying, singing, dancing, playing piano/electric guitar, cooking, learning new languages (like Japanese and Spanish), diy, gardening, photography and more on

Likes: cats, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), lemon demon, felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), hotels, and my friends!

Dislikes: negative mentions of my voice, comparing me to people like “you remind me of ____”, also spiders I hate them With my life, hate talk about my interests and that’s rlly it

Thanks!

You got…Douma!

He is a very eccentric man, and he is really easy to befriend if you're someone who will put up with him! Though, I'll say it was a while before you could actually be next to him without wanting to hide away because yeesh one drop of attention and he clings.

Douma doesn't have hobbies of his own, rather, he just copies others so long as they are next to him. You want to draw? Let him talk and he'll draw with you! Gardening? Well it's cold up here but he'll help you build one at the bottom of the mountain if it means getting away from the cult for a bit!

Okay he is very dramatic, but he won't drag you into drama. He has so much tea to spill about his """coworkers""" and changes in the upper and lower moon rankings, he also complains that none of the other demons speak to him! Usually ends with him praising you for being such a good friend.

Really, really likes fashion and wearing things that stand out! A lot of your clothes are too small for him but anything loose he will try on, especially any accessories! He really likes whimsigoth styles which he picks up by picking some of your gyaru style with your scenemo style.

There's a spider? He's a bit playful, he will pick it up slowly, and then dangle it over his mouth and eat it. He finds it really funny how scared you are of something so small, but he will always get rid of it.

Authors Note - Okay I tried searching what aromatic is so I just assumed you meant aromantic, sorry fi I messed up your preferences!

Random note but you mentioned SCP & hotels which is funny to me because I work in a hotel + help run my parents bed and breakfast! And I'm a staff + author on the SCP wiki! Thats what I do when im not on here lol

[dodgebolts]

I’m a little late to the conversation but I had to keep my nails short as a kid/teenager because I played piano and then just kept them short because I was used to it and had to do lab work but I started growing them out a little during covid just because I could and I just like them better that way…they’re more fun to paint, the shape is nicer and they’re usually strong enough by themselves so I don’t really have to do much for upkeep (I say usually because I literally ripped off half my nail today on accident rip to my thumb)

-🌻

yeesh I hope your thumb is okay wtf but yeah I can definitely see how that'd work, I guess for me since I've never been one to paint my nails that was never really something I'd considered (I think I've had them painted like 10 times ever maybe and only once in the past 10 years LOL)

[b0mblover]

j rants abt dead loptson as usual because he cannot be bothered to keep the thoughts to himself

ok so FIRST OF ALL

i think im gonna start just calling this ‘loptson hawaii: part ii’ BECAUSE ITS ESSENTIALLY WHAT IM MAKINGGG 😭😭

second of all, funny thing, im /planning/ on drawing lopt playing piano and mason playing violin because in hawaii part ii its the instruments i noticed specifically (i swear it makes sense) but uh.

brain rot j made a fucking omori joke and now i cannot get it out of my head 😭

the only difference is that mason is getting killed but doesnt play piano (oh ig omori spoilers but its 2024. even if you havent played it you probably already know)

uggrbfnd fuck im not even kidding i swear. those maps i made im using for this project J PLEASE QUIT DOING THIS TO ME WHY DO YOU HATE ME. THIS IS SUCH A BG ASS PROJECT. YOU CANT EVEN PROPERLY FINISH A SMALL WRITING THING. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS SHIT (talking ti myself somewheee thats not main sorry)

im sorry but uh. look. unironically, guchiry characters playing instruments have been actually rotting my mind for literally years 😭 trust me i dont even know how i dont have a list. i just associate them in my mind and remember it.

CHOKES sorry yeesh!

i actually made three maps but uh, i think only one will get used in this project (if i ever finish it that is) bc i havent even named the other two! i might just use them for idk. aesthetics in my room or smth idk.

jesus i have so many ideas i need to quit this is excalty how burn out happens but i cant help itttt

hggvfddnsn i the brainrot so much

currently (like as im writing this) im working on i uh- drawing smth rather reveling(?) like uh. it isnt -sexual- in like the slighest but is???? idk look. i really need to practice/actual/ anatomy 😭😭 it sucks bc like. man its akward as hell bc im essentially drawing lopt with no clothes on but i feel like i kinda gotta??

(i really wanna have smth to laugh at when i get older alr)

ANYWAYS the point was that i cant figure out if i should render it or just leave it at line art.

christ im rambling again fuck.

back to the topic (yes im leaving that in)

i should absolutely end masons life in the most guresome and blood curdling way possible! 😍🥰 /j

but srsly. maritime forest. you are having BLOOD on your trees 🥰 (look it up. that isnt the /name/ of it its just a descriptor)

man. these names are kinda. weird ish tho.

aphelion, periciel, vacant beach 3- (last is a joke)

ahhbrbdns but srsly naming this shit is hardddd bc following real world naming (at least acordding to google) is such a pain, like uh, (from what i remember) it usually is either a feature of the place, named after someone, and a third thing that i cannot remember rn.

(funfact, im 99% sure periciel isnt a real word! peri acordding to google means about and ciel means sky in french apparently, yea. about sky. aphelion((heres the google def bc im not explaing this))

“the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun."

(SO! uh yea. if you were wondering how i came up with the names ig. oh yea funny thing. the thing about periciel. i actually looked up peri bc in puyo puyo tetris 2 (im being dead srs rn i wish i was kidding) in a call out line schezo says “parry” but i thought it was “peri” so yada yada boom. this shit is unnecessary complicated but uh. thats my entire existence! so)

man i have SO much to do. i think im gonna attempt to draw bread sheeran. well actually scratch that. i have a week to do that, i was working on uh. nonsexual lopt before i went outside and got brainrotted to death, so ill probably work on that, or start the other drawing (i really REALLY wanna draw mason playing violin. i actually dont even know that in white ball violin is the main instrument. i just think it is 😭😭) hggggbbhh well! im gonna go suffer now. thanks to like the 2 ppl that read this in full. im sorry for your eyes!

[officermaddie23]

Every time claws tries to make a new song on his piano

Claws Henderson: I used to serve a witch her plans were dark but then a very brave girl set me and my friends free from that evil witch in return we serve and she reverted us back to our forms

Hoodini: LOUIS I WAS USING THAT TO PREPARE THE MAGIC SHOW GIVE THAT BACK

Louis: Well you jammed my trumpet the other day with a rabbit for my frog orchestra

Hoodini: You can’t make an orchestra out of frogs

Louis: Well when you were in control of the Beldam you made a rat circus

Hoodini: IT WAS MICE

Louis: RATS

Hoodini: MICE

Claws Henderson: WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO WRITE A SONG HERE

Hoodini:

Louis: Damn

@mellowwolflady yeesh Coraline’s faes really like to fight

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Ahhh heeere's the dump lol

The landfill that is

And now I pretend I know nothing, maybe with some random bits not doing that lol

Idk it's just fun to add my little bit of surprise but what it would be

Or like if I'd forgotten like if I hadn't re-watched the promo last night xD

Anyway

Ahh roommates and he threw out something the other guy wanted lol

WAIT

Chimney and Hen are gonna be back here because Chim loses the ring here

That's what it's gonna be isn't it xDD

Like

Oof 😬😬😬 but also ohh that's gonna be great XDD

Ahh it's worth something

He wants to know because he wants the money lol

Is he gonna try and hedge it?

Oh DANG O.O

That was NOT what I was expecting ಠoಠ ಠoಠ ಠoಠ

Like to be worth something sure but that's a LOT O.O :OOO

I mean you could search for it yourself

Well eh alrighty then!!

Gl y'all xD

Idk man I'm not there but I don't think I'd give up that much money XD

:O is that it??

YOO THEY ACTUALLY FOUND IT??

Well congrats guys xD that's crazy

OPE

Y'all been caught XD

OHHH NOO

OH GOSH

Crap xdd

YUUP here they are they're gonna lose the ring here

Oh yeesh o.o yeah that doesn't sound good xd

Hmm that's a LOT of stuff to search through

Ope the one guy?

AYY the found him :D

O U C H that looks unpleasant o.o

Bro's stuck in a HARP ಠ⁠oಠ

I think anyway xD

Or some stringed thing idk, a piano maybe? I'm making food right now so yk xD only half watching

Ouch xdd

Nahh I don't think you're getting it man lol

Maybe don't be open about your intentions to come back XDD

Oh CRAP

Okay okay but where is he 😬😬

:O There??

YAY we found him :D

UH OH

F I R E??!?!!

Not the place to have a fire ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ 😳😳

Why does Bobby call them by their first names but the other people by their last names lol

Favoritism XD

Uh ohhh

Come on come on come onn 😬😬

PHEW okay they got him out 😅

That was wild lol

:OO Is this gonna make Chim decide to do it?

YAYYY :DD

The look Buck is giving Hen xD 😭

I mean I see both their sides though lol, well I see why Hen is acting that way even if I don't think she's right