#but for most people.... u gotta buy them whatever they wanna order

[byanyan]

i believe i've said it before, but if ur muse ever wants byan to give them a tattoo (or piercing, but i wouldn't recommend that one), all it'll cost is a meal from a fast food place of their choice

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Nobody asked for this but I'm gonna do it anyways...

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Fluff Alphabet: Takeru/Aguni Edition

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Takeru: only reason he let Aguni wear regular clothes and not swimwear is because he saw ARM in that tank top and was like "oh damn okay 😳." So, y'know, that. (And he'll never admit it but he kinda likes how Aguni is a little bit taller than he is....) Also likes that Aguni has a really dry, deadpan sense of humor—he ways finds a way to make Takeru laugh, even when he's not really trying.

Aguni: I think the physical aspect of things wasn't really a make-or-break for him at first—like, yeah, Takeru's a good-looking guy, but that's secondary. He liked how Takeru is such a live-wire, very loud and colorful and seemingly fearless, no matter what kind of trouble they got into. (But also...he likes the hair. That's a thing for him.)

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Takeru: If they end up with one somehow, then, sure. But, like. He's not going out of his was to make it a thing. (But also, he has his cat, Ziggy, who he calls his baby, so...)

Aguni: Would secretly love to be a dad but is too worried he might mess the kid up or something. Is more than happy to be 'unofficial parent' to the neighborhood kids, though. Handing out ice pops to the kids that show up at the shop, keeping an eye out and telling them to get home before dark, maybe even showing one or two of them how to throw a better curveball...you know. Real Hallmark channel shit. (And yes, for those who were wondering: Ziggy the cat loves him and often curls up on his lap while he watches TV)

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

They don't really "cuddle" outside of bed. Just kinda sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, no big deal. But in bed, Aguni lies on his back with his arm sorta outstretched while Takeru...well, my man is worm on a string but OFF the string, he just flops all sorts of ways and a lot of them don't look comfortable but he falls asleep in minutes so whatever.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

I don't think they do "dates"—they've got a long-term thing going on, so they often end up on the couch eating takeout and watching movies. I think they'd go to the movie theater sometimes (and talk shit for the entire film lol) and every once in a while grab dinner somewhere nice...but, usually because they have some cool limited-time-only dessert item that Takeru insists they try. (And Aguni pretends to be upset about having to get dressed up and go out, but is actually rather pleased to have a little romance...and get something to satisfy his sweet tooth.)

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Aguni: Emergency Medical Contact

Takeru: Co-Signer On The Apartment Lease

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Takeru: About a week after Aguni (drunkenly) confessed his crush. Literally spent a whole week like, "Wow, it's a shame I don't love him back. He's so kind and handsome and smart and funny...too bad, I guess..." until one night he sat up straight in bed and said "Hold up." He then immediately called Aguni and began demanding why Aguni didn't tell him he was in love with him this whole time.

Aguni: They had been friends since they were kids, so it's hard to say when his feelings went from "you're my best friend" to something different. But, once he figured it out, he swore never to mention it because that could complicate their friendship.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Takeru: Yes and no. He's got a bad case of "grabby hands" and often yanks Aguni to and fro to look at something or whatever. Just zero respect for the man's personal space. But otherwise...I imagine he's not particularly rough or gentle, just kind of normal. EXCEPT when it comes to the emotional stuff—like, the real heavy things. I think he's very gentle with that, not asking too many questions and just sort of taking care of him where he can.

Aguni: Generally gentle—physically, emotionally, whatever. But I do think that he's confrontational, like when there's an issue, he comes straight out and asks Takeru what's going on. Even corners him, sometimes. He seems like a "no bullshit" guy, and since Takeru is "Mr. 99% Bullshit" he's gotta deal with it as best he can.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

The only time they "hold hands" is when Takeru is grabbing Aguni's wrist to drag him somewhere (or run away lol) and when Aguni is pulling Takeru's hand back to stop him from touching something...

I = Impression first impression/s

I headcanon that they met very young, like grade school age. After school, in the park, where Takeru was chilling in a tree and Aguni walked by and he was like "Hey, there's a spider up here, wanna see?" and Aguni is like "Not really, I don't like bugs..." Now, Takeru, being "weird bug kid extraordinaire" can't believe his strange little ears and hops down from the tree and starts explaining why bugs are so cool and that Aguni is wrong...and Aguni listens as this funky, tiny firecracker just talks his damn ear off. Aguni liked how excited Takeru got about things, and Takeru liked how Aguni actually listened to him. And they were fast friends after that!

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Takeru fucks around all the time...and doesn't often find out, because Aguni tolerates all his antics. (To a certain point, but still.) Every once in a while, Aguni will tell some harmless little lie just to watch Takeru freak out—he told him once that Lady Gaga was leaving the music scene forever, and Takeru screamed so loud the neighbors filed a noise complaint.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

I think they most often do quick pecks—at the breakfast table, when they get home from work. You know. Domestic stuff. But when it's not like that...I think 9/10 times it's Takeru initiating, and Aguni reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in a big hug (because he likes it but also to keep that skinny little weirdo from wiggling so damn much, he's always moving, he can't just be still—)

L = Love who says I love you first?

Neither! I don't think they really say it at all! Why say something that doesn't need to be said? (At least, that's how they see it...)

M = Memory their favorite moment together

Aguni: It's not really a memory, but...just how they have breakfast together some mornings. Sipping coffee, discussing whatever's going on in the world, the general "togetherness" that comes with it is one of his favorite feelings.

Takeru: The time they spent a full 24 hours in a karaoke booth singing 80's hits and knocking back tequila shots and ordering way too much food.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Takeru: Absolutely buys stuff for Aguni all the time. Mostly random snacks, or little knick-knacks that catch his eye. And also clothes, but...Aguni doesn't always approve.

Aguni: Doesn't buy Takeru stuff BUT leaves vases of flowers he grew on the table for Takeru to find.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

Anything bright and obnoxious reminds Aguni of Takeru—red in particular, which also happens to be Takeru's favorite. And Takeru thinks Aguni has calm and soothing blue-green vibes. Like the ocean, beautiful and serene, but also dark and capable of incredible destruction.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Takeru: All of them. Darling, babe, sweetheart (but he calls everyone those lol). Aguni-specific ones are always over-the-top and ridiculous like "brightest star in all of the heavens..." and he always gets an eye-roll for his efforts.

Aguni: Absolutely does not use pet names. Just says "hey you" or something. Once called Takeru "babe" and Takeru had to stop washing dishes and sit down because he was laughing so hard.

Q = Quaint what is their favorite non-modern thing?

Takeru: I feel like he would collect a ton of vintage stuff—clothes, records, just random little bits and bobs he comes across. But his favorite is definitely his record player—it belonged to his dad, and he keeps it in a place of honor in the hat shop.

Aguni: A set of very old and well-cared-for gardening tools. Takeru got them for him for his birthday, and he legit treasures them.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Lay on the couch and do literally nothing. Takeru gets the left end, Aguni takes the right, and they binge trash TV shows all day. (And also they make box-mix brownies and eat them straight out of the pan. It's "their thing.")

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Takeru: Aside from all his self-destrictive behaviors (binge-drinking, dangerous situations, etc.) he just really needs a good laugh. And Aguni somehow always manages to make him laugh with an unexpected, deadpan comment. Also, he makes Takeru actually talk through his problems instead of ignoring them...

Aguni: if he's in a bad mood, you just need to let him work through it on his own. He hates being "talked down to" and feels that most attempts at cheering up are cheap, so most people don't attempt. Buf...Takeru is not "most people" and breaks out his most ridiculous jokes to try to get Aguni to crack a smile.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Other people! You know Takeru is the "XOXO Gossip Girl" of the neighborhood, but Aguni...he's like a little old church lady and ADORES hearing all the latest drama.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Both of them have the same method of relaxation and it's...bubble baths! Aguni does a basic, skin soothing soak and just hangs out in the warm water with a book or maybe just his thoughts to keep him company. But Takeru? He's got some fancy bath soaps, and he takes in a glass of wine and lights a few candles and does a face mask and it's a whole EVENT.

V - Very thoughts about each other

Takeru: Thinks Aguni needs to loosen up and take more risks...but also just loves the guy to pieces.

Aguni: Kinda wishes Takeru would calm tf down sometimes...but also knows that it's just how the guy is and wouldn't dare change him.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

They're not really the marrying type! They just have a mutual understanding of commitment and that's that.

(But if they did have a wedding... I think it would be a relatively small affair with all their closest friends and family. Like a dinner party, but somewhere extra nice and with lots of good food and alcohol. Intimate and meaningful, with just enough "extra" to satisfy Takeru.)

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" because they hid out in a karaoke booth (different from the 24-hour event that Takeru cherishes so much) to es ape the Yakuza and Takeru sang it over and over to pass the time.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

"Breaking" to my "Entering." The "Assault" to my "Battery." (They both hate this sort of thing and try to come up with the worst answers possible lol)

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

They already have the cat, Ziggy, who is their perfect little angel.

[vintagedolan]

sweet creature (egd)

ethan hates when he has to leave you for even a few days, so when he gets back, he has a little surprise planned

word count: 4.3k

warnings/tags: fluff, and then some smut to round it out WOO we goin through it today ladies and gents, harry styles (music) is involved :) 

dedicated to my bruna bby ( @ethanhes​ ) who is so strong and the sweetest girly I know. I love you!!

feel free to send in requests! and check out my masterlist if you wanna :)

Like hell you were gonna make another trip - you slid the last grocery bag onto your arm, ignoring how they were digging into your skin as you started your walk into the house. If anyone had watched you try to navigate your way in the door, it probably would have been quite the sight. But you succeeded, emerging into an empty kitchen, heaving the heavy bags up onto the counter.

Usually, you’d yell down the hall, summon the boys to help you unpack. But it would be futile - no one was home. Not even Sterling was around - the three of them were off on Wakeheart business, at the factory in Arizona where everything was actually produced so they could approve all the candle production.

You’d gotten a few pictures from the trip - bright colorful sunsets, Grayson and Sterling smiling from across the table at breakfast. But your favorites were the stupid little selfies he kept sending. Your phone buzzed in your pocket as if on cue.

Another snapchat from Ethan, this time of him with a metal straw trapped between his teeth and big smile on his face. Adorable, as always. 

cold brew mood. miss you x was the caption that flitted across the screen. You screenshotted it just in time. The next buzz was a text from him.

:(

why you screenshot

cause you looked cute

send me one back, I miss you

You rolled your eyes at that, deciding to make him wait for a minute while you started to put the groceries away. You’d only unpacked two bags before your phone buzzed again.

hey

show me ur face

omg gimme a minute 😂

im putting away the obscene amount of oat milk I just bought

DID THEY HAVE THE GOOD KIND

yep. bought three cartons

holy shit I love you

gray says he loves you too 

but I love you more

You sent him a quick snapchat to appease him, unsurprised when you got the notification that he’d screenshotted it. He always got like this when he was away - even more clingy than usual, constantly wanting to communicate with you somehow. You had to admit, you loved the idea that you were always on his mind when he wasn’t with you, even if it did mean you felt like you were constantly on your phone.

what else are you doing today?

idk might lay out by the pool for a while

without me? 😔

you should go shopping

You frowned at your phone, looking at the few boxes of pasta you had left to put away before you typed back with a huff.

I literally just got back from the grocery what do u mean

not that kind of shopping

fun shopping. like for clothes

The thought was tempting - with everything going on, you hadn’t gotten anything new in months. To be fair though, you hadn’t really needed anything new - you were just hanging around the house anyways. 

do you want me to go so I’ll stop wearing all your clothes

yes

kidding baby you know I don’t care. but you should get some new stuff, you deserve it! just use my card

I hate using your card

It wasn’t a lie. Ethan had gotten you a credit card linked to his personal account for emergencies almost six months ago, and you’d only used it a handful of times when he insisted. You never wanted him to ever think that you cared about him for his money. 

I’d be buying whatever you find if I was there, it’s the same thing

You grinned to yourself, plan already hatching. He didn’t say what you had to buy. You’d just get something small - a pack of socks, or a basic tee - with his card, and pay for the rest of it yourself. 

alright alright, fine

But his next text had you rolling your eyes. He knew you too well.

and you have buy real clothes. like at least one dress

Even though he wasn’t there to see it, your eyes squinted in accusation. 

why a dress?

you’re being sus what’s this about

you’re so stubborn holy shit. I was gonna buy you dresses for the harry concert so I want you to pick some out for yourself

Damn. You’d almost forgotten that the concert was supposed to be that night. Ethan had bought the two of you tickets back when they went on presale, using his connections to get the two of you amazing seats. E had been almost as bummed as you when it got postponed, disappointed that the night he’d had planned for you had fallen through.

it got rescheduled to august baby, we can go shopping then!

i’m impatient

omg really? I had no idea 

just go buy some dresses and send me pictures. we’re back at the factory, gotta go. I love you!

love you too!

Knowing that if you sat down you probably wouldn’t get back up, you turned back to the door with a sigh, grabbing your keys and wallet from where you’d just stowed them, heading back out to the car.

You climbed into Ethan’s Tesla, hitting your preset button on the door so the seat moved forward to where you could reach the pedals. He always insisted you take his car if he couldn’t drive you, always wanting you to be the safest you could be. It was still a bit intimidating to drive something so expensive, but you did it anyways, heading to the mall that housed most of your favorite stores with your mask on.

It turned out to be one of those days where nothing caught your eye. You really looked, scoured through the racks, hoping to find anything that looked remotely appealing or like your style. You even tried on a few that you had hopes for, but they were a bust. 

Feeling defeated you stopped for a while and got some coffee, sitting and people watching as everyone passed in their masks. Your eyes wandered to another store, one you rarely went into - it catered to your style perfectly, but everything was far out of your price range. 

But looking couldn’t hurt. Right?

That backfired as soon as you walked in, smelled that perfect fragrance that seemed to dust all the soft fabrics in the place. 

Before you knew what you’d done, you had so many options thrown over your arm that it was starting to ache. 

You stopped looking, headed to a dressing room to try and narrow down your search. Some of them were automatic no’s, the cut not flattering or the color clashing with the undertones in your skin.

But there were three winners - a tight green one that hugged your curves, a casual denim overall number that would look adorable with the right shirt, and a blue sundress that tied into a bow at the back, the fabric brushing your upper thighs.

You snapped pictures in each one, knowing Ethan would help you decide. Your bet was on the green one - he was a man, after all. But his response just made you roll your eyes.

you look hot as fuck

buy all three

no

yes

they’re expensive

I didn’t ask how much they cost. You like them all. therefore, you buy them all

it’s simple really

ethan

y/n

just tell me which one is your favorite please

if you don’t buy all three i’m just gonna go back and buy them for you later

or I’ll order them and have them shipped to the house

stop

getting online now 😌

stop it

placing an order 😌 😌

ethan grant

last chance

fine

im sticking my tongue out at you. you can’t see it but I am

ouch, im hurt

are you headed home after you buy them?

well I’m sure as hell not spending anymore money, so yeah. why?

just wondering where my girl’s gonna be. drive safe. you took the tesla right?

of course I did.

good. hurry home. but don’t hurry too much. safety first

You quirked an eyebrow at the last text - he was being so odd. He’d only been gone for two days, usually it wasn’t this bad for him. Who knew what he’d be like tomorrow before he got home.

Changing back into your clothes in a hurry, you put your rejects out on the return rack and carried your three choices to the register, trying not to listen to the total before you put Ethan’s card in the reader. 

You left the mall swiftly after that, trying to ignore the eyes on you. In reality, no one was probably looking at you, but you felt like everyone was staring as you carried your expensive bag and got in a fucking tesla. You never understood how Gray and E could walk around with such expensive things and not be fazed in the slightest. 

The drive home took longer than you would have liked considering the traffic you got caught in, but you just turned your music up, humming along as you crawled down the road towards your exit. When you finally got there you let the tesla take over, pulling you off the interstate and starting down the smaller roads that led to the house. 

Your first clue was when the song changed. At first you didn’t think much of it - you had every Harry song saved to your library, it wasn’t unusual for one to come up. 

But then, one verse into Fine Line, it skipped, the intro of Two Ghosts starting. 30 seconds later? Falling started to play through the car. 

“What the fuck?” You muttered, quickly switching off autopilot, afraid that the car may be glitching. It was only a few more minutes until you got to the house, and in that time the song switched again twice, all Harry songs. 

When you pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, your phone buzzed with your second clue.

welcome home baby

omg are you watching the cameras? that’s creepy as fuck

also the tesla just got super weird but I swear I didn’t fuck up your car

just come inside

You obliged, grabbing your bag and heading into the house.

Clue number three was that the pasta boxes you’d left on the counter were gone, put away no doubt on the shelf that you couldn’t reach. You froze.

Someone was in the house.

You only had a moment to be scared before Ethan appeared around the corner, your favorite grin adorning his face.

“Boo.”

You dropped the bag, running the few steps it took to get to him before you threw your arms around him, breathing him in as he hugged you to him tightly. 

“You guys weren’t supposed to be home until tomorrow!”

“Caught an early flight so I could surprise my girl. Gray and Ster are still in Arizona.” He leaned back so you could look at him, shrugging as if it was no big deal that he’d cut his trip short just to come home to see you.

“Didn’t you have stuff you needed to do?” 

“No, we knocked it out today.”

“Then why didn’t Grayson come ba-”

His lips were on yours then, catching your words as he kissed you hard, a hand coming up to your cheek, thumb running over your cheekbone. “Are you gonna keep asking me questions, or are you gonna let me actually surprise you.”

“There’s more?” The butterflies that only he could bring fluttered in your stomach, and you bit your lip, looking up at him. He leaned down past you, reaching for the bag you’d dropped, placing it back in your hands.

“Maybe. Go put on one of your new dresses, then come out back.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips before he let go. “Hurry.”

“Okay!” You were practically giddy as you hurried back to Ethan’s room, laying the dresses out on the comforter and trying to decide on one. It took a few minutes, a few switches of holding them up to you in the mirror before you settled on the blue sundress, situating the big sewed bow in the middle of your back. It had a built in bra that was surprisingly comfortable, making it the easiest choice.

Shoving your dresses back in the bag, you didn’t even bother with shoes. You just headed straight for the backyard - but you froze in the living room, taking in the sight through the doors.

The sun was setting on the horizon, painting the sky a baby purple, the clouds a pop of pink as they floated, scattered around. The city was starting to light up below you, and the moon hung high above it. But your eyes were on something - someone - entirely different. 

Ethan was standing in the grass, wearing one of his nice pairs of shorts and a short sleeve patterned button down - you hadn’t even noticed his outfit earlier, you’d been too excited to see him. He was holding a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands, the petals bright yellow even in the dim light.  

He caught sight of you through the glass and immediately hid the flowers behind his back as he stood up straight and smiled like a guy coming to the front door to pick you up for prom.

You pulled the door open, stepping out into the cool California air. It felt almost cold against your flushed cheeks as Ethan looked you up and down, letting out a low whistle.

You just laughed, stopping a few steps in front of him and waiting for whatever he had planned. 

He whipped the flowers around with a grin, holding them out for you with one hand, leaving his other arm tucked behind him. “Happy concert night!”

What you didn’t see was the remote in his other hand. He clicked it with his thumb, and the whole back yard lit up. There were twinkling christmas lights lining the roof and wrapping around the tree to the side of the house. He’d brought out Grayson’s projector and pointed it at a white sheet he’d hung up - you watched it for a moment, laughing when you realized it was projecting a slideshow of the pictures you two had taken together over the last year. And finally, you noticed the speakers had turned on, starting to play one of your favorite songs. Sweet Creature.

“E-”

“I know it got rescheduled, and we’ll have so much fun when we go. But, I still wanted to make tonight special. So, it’s kinda just date night, but... Harry Styles edition?” 

Closing the gap with a few steps you threw your arms around his neck, flowers and all, so you could kiss him. 

“I love you so much,” were the only words you could find, and you hoped he knew how much you truly meant them.

“Love me enough to dance with me?” 

You froze at that - you weren’t much of a slow dancer, and Ethan had even less experience than you did. But the thought of staying so close to him made your heart flutter, so you nodded, letting go for a moment so you could sit the flowers down safely in the grass.

He pulled you back into his arms, hands settling on your waist as yours went around his neck. His fingertips ghosted over the bare skin on your back below the bow, sending shivers up your spine. 

It didn’t matter that Sweet Creature was a tiny bit fast for a slow dance - the two of you weren’t doing more than swaying back and forth anyways, foreheads touching, totally lost in each other. 

He spun you a few times, even throwing in a little dip that made you both laugh before he kissed you, leaving you a bit breathless when he pulled you back up to standing. 

“You bring me home,” he sang, slightly off pitch and so quiet you could barely hear, but it was so sweet that it even brought a few tears to your eyes. You blinked them away so you could see his face as you both smiled. 

The energy picked up a bit as the songs continued to shuffle, Carolina coming on next. You both jumped around hand in hand, looking like total idiots you were sure, stomachs sore from laughing at and with each other by the end. You paused a few times throughout the next songs to watch the slideshow, laughing at some of the pictures he’d chosen, remembering the stories behind them.  

When Sunflower came on, Ethan opened his arms again for a dance and you quirked an eyebrow.

“You know, Mr. Styles doesn’t have as many romantic songs as I thought he did. This one’s not bad though,” Ethan mumbled as the two of you swayed back and forth quickly, spinning around and around.

“This song isn’t even romantic, it’s about him missing his ex,” you explained.

“You analyzed those lyrics hard huh.”

“Oh don’t act like you haven’t dissected every Cudi song five times over.” You squinted your eyes at him in accusation and he just laughed.

“Touché, touché. Maybe the sunflowers weren’t the best Harry related gesture then huh.”

“I still think they’re beautiful,” you reassured him. 

“Thought it would kinda be weird to give you a watermelon. Though, I guess that would have sent a much clearer message.” 

The mischief in his eyes told you he knew exactly what that song was about.

“A little on the nose, don’t yah think?” You scrunched up your nose at him as if to prove your point. He reached out for your hand and you laced your fingers with his.

“Never.” 

And then he was walking, half pulling half guiding you back into the house, through the glass doors, down the hallway, into the bedroom. Your skin was hot, partially from the change in temperature, partially from the hands that were wandering over your skin as soon as the door was closed.

Ethan’s hands traced down your arms, fingertips over skin, then over fabric when he got to your waist, further down to your thighs and then you were gasping as he found his way under your skirt. His hands spread out, large and commanding over your ass, resting there for a moment, squeezing before he moved north, fingers hooking into your panties, guiding them down until they fell off and you could step out of them. 

Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt, blindly undoing them as he kissed you. You found yourself pausing, hands tracing over the new yet familiar skin that revealed itself with each one you managed to loosen until finally, finally it was open and you could push it off his shoulders. 

His hand found the bow, roughly starting to tug until you reached back and caught him.

“Baby don’t pull. It’s sewed, it doesn’t come undone,” you cautioned, barely pulling back, unwilling to put any space between the two of you. 

“Stupid,” he grumbled, pouting a bit until he realized that he could pull the fabric off your shoulders, freeing your chest. He hummed a bit in satisfaction, hands moving to squeeze your tits, and then he was kissing them, sinking lower, lower until his knees hit the floor.

“Oh fuck,” you squeaked, knowing exactly what was about to happen. 

Ethan looked up at you from his knees with a teasing grin and a quirked eyebrow, waiting for your permission. You nodded, trying to breathe as his hands ghosted up your thighs, up to your hips. 

And then he ducked his head so he could get under the fabric of your skirt, ready to get to work.

Your knees buckled as soon as you felt him, tongue warm and flat against you. One of his hands came down, tracing over your skin until he got to your calf, lifting it just barely and pushing it out to widen your stance.

You whimpered as he sped up, his satisfied hums adding to the sensation in a way that had your legs starting to shake already. Your hands dropped to his head, and you pushed the fabric off the top of it so you could get to his hair, tugging. It just made him go harder, burying himself deeper. You folded forward, bracing on his shoulders, overwhelmed as you alternated holding you breathe and gasping for air, squirming.

“E, Ethan stop, my legs are gonna give out, wait,” you gasped, pulling on his hair. 

He paused, ducking out from under your dress and smiling up at you, lips swollen and pride booming.

“That’s the best compliment you’ve ever given me I think. But I’m not done yet, lay down.” 

You did as he said, turning around and climbing onto the middle of the bed before collapsing onto your back, rolling over and looking for him. Ethan was one second behind you, crawling above you to hover over you then duck down to kiss you hard yet somehow sweet at the same time.

It was instinct to reach down to his waist, let your fingers ghost over his waistband, tuck underneath it in a blind search. He sucked in a breath through his teeth when you wrapped your fingers around the tip. He shook his head at you, making you pout.

“Tonights about you, not me.”

“But I want to.”

“Raincheck. Best fucking raincheck ever, but raincheck. Just lemme take care of you.” 

He kisses you until you forget your argument - you’re putty in his hands as his lips trail back down. He pushes all the fabric of your dress together so it’s just a band around your tummy and then he picked up where he left off.

“Fuck E, just like that, oh god.” You were squirming again in a matter of moments, his stubble rough against your thighs as he worked you over. He felt your body tense up under his hold, smiling as he gave it all he had, giving that extra little push that sent you tumbling, clenching, writhing over the edge. 

He peppered kisses to your thighs as you caught your breath, and then he reached up, fists closing around all the fabric of your dress.

“Lift your hips up,” he instructed, waiting for you to bridge up so he could wiggle the dress off over your hips. He tossed it towards the closet, moving back up towards your face, bed dipping down with his weight.

“No fair,” you pouted, reaching down to tug at his shorts and boxers. 

“And I’m the impatient one.” 

He stood back up off the bed, quickly shoving down the clothing he had left and stepping out of it. 

“Much better.” You grinned wide when you saw he was blushing at your words. “C’mere.” 

He happily listened, crawling back above you and dropping a bit of his weight down as he sunk to his forearms. 

“So missionary is the way to your heart huh? So vanilla.” He bumped his nose against yours.

“You have a pretty face, sue me,” you laughed, bringing your hands up to his neck and pulling him down for a kiss as he dropped his hips, searching for just a moment before he pushed inside. 

You’d lost count of how many times the two of you had been just like this, intertwined and enthralled with each other, but you knew you’d never get tired of it as long as you lived.

“I love you.” It came out as a breath when he bottomed out, his lips resting on your shoulder, back curled up at an angle that let you feel every muscle, every ridge of his body. 

“I love you. You’re my dream, you know that?” He started to rock his hips, unwilling to go too far from you as you clung to his back, relishing in the feeling of him on you, in you, all around you. 

This would always be your favorite way to be with him - sweet and soft, just your bodies together, nothing else. You couldn’t think of anything better.

He shifted just barely, thrusting in at a different angle. You knew he was searching, and you gasped when he brushed against your g spot, your whole body shuddering.

“There she is,” he whispered, a prideful grin on his face as he hit it over and over. Watching you come undone below him would always be one of his favorite views. “Look at me baby, I wanna see you.” 

You did your best in your blissed out state to listen to him, turning your head from where it had fallen against the pillow to look at him while he picked up pace. Your legs curled around his back, holding him to you, urging him as deep as he could go as you chased the orgasm that was building in your gut.

He stared at you for a few moments, and then as if he couldn’t help it he ducked down to kiss you, open mouthed and rough as he pulled his hips back, thrusting forward with more force than he’d used yet. 

“Oh fuck Ethan, fuck,” you moaned, holding onto him for dear life. When he snaked one hand between the two of you to find your clit, you were done for. 

His breath caught in his throat as you clenched around him and you heard the whimpers through your cloudy haze, mixtures of pleasure and your name as he came undone, hip stuttering and then stopping when he finally hit his high. 

Once he’s caught his breath he rolls the both of you over so you’re resting on his chest, listening to his heart rate settle back down under your ear. 

“I’m so glad you came home early,” you sighed, hugging his bare torso as he chuckled.

“Me too baby. Me too.”

[yarichinbokutoclub]

The train was packed. Who knew so many people would be milling about at 1 o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon. You hated it, being around so many people, but with your job at the museum you had learned to tolerate the crowds. This, however, was different, you were crammed in a tiny cabin with God knows how many other people. Don’t these people have work to do? It is a week day after all. So, to put things lightly, your day did not start off on a good note.

           You were, however, looking forward to the Café’s opening. It was your light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. With the café being a bit of a hole in the wall and lacking any media presence you knew it would not attract much of a crowd. The perfect place to work on your botany journal (basically just a journal with different plant clippings and facts and drawings. Think Hiccup’s journal in HTYD or Deku’s journal in BNHA.) You were really looking forward to the new pages you could add now that the museum had gotten in some new flora, that of course they let you be the first to see. The journal was a great help when you were giving tours as you wanted to be as thorough as possible in hopes that you might inspire a bright young mind, like what had happened to you so many years ago.

           The train finally came to a stop and you couldn’t have been more grateful. You got off as quickly as possible and stopped to take a deep breath, really appreciating the fresh air and the open space around you. After you got your bearings, you adjusted your outfit (gotta look good in case there are any cute boys at the café ;)) and got on your way. The café was only about 5 blocks from the train station so it didn’t take you long to get there at all. You turned off the main street onto a little side one, almost like an alley, and towards the end you saw the café.

           The vibe was immaculate. It was everything you could have wished for and more, no crowds and books everywhere, what’s not to love? Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you pushed open the front door. A small bell above you jingled to signal your arrival and you were immediately met with not only the eyes of your best friend, Yachi, but also a pair of wide yellow eyes which seemed to be taking in your appearance. Blushing, you tried not to think much of it and made your way to the counter and greeted the cute barista that you knew so well. “Yachi!!! You look so adorable in your apron.” you exclaimed upon getting to the counter, mindful of your volume of course. “Y/n, you actually came!” Yachi replied with a big grin.

“I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to check this place out and bug you on your first day. ;P Speaking of, how has it been, any rude customers yet?”

“It’s been a lot slower than we would have hoped but everyone has been really polite, I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better first day. Anyways, I should probably get back to work. What can I get you? I’ll bring it to your table when it’s ready.”

Yachi, always the positive one and a hard worker too. Scanning over the menu you quickly make your decision. “I’ll have a hot caramel latte and a blueberry muffin! Oh an make sure you do something extra cute for the latte art!!”

“Only the best for you, y/n! I’ll have it right out!”

           With that you made your way to a table near a window so you could attempt to people watch without being near any of the other patrons. It was a quiet corner just the way you liked. However, you could still feel those big yellow eyes on you. Looking up you finally made eye contact with the man who had been staring you down and boy was he cute. You could tell he was athletic too, giving him a curt smile you turned back to your table and pulled out your journal. Maybe this could be where you find your wattpad romance after all. Or so you thought.

           Yachi brought out your order and you got to journaling about the newest flower in the museum’s greenhouse, the Cytandra Vittata or Candy-Striped Violet. Particularly excited about this one due to the flower’s incredible beauty and unique petals, you made sure to put extra care into the pages. You were having a great time, the coffee was amazing and the atmosphere was perfect for getting your work done. That is until HE decided to stop staring at you and go back to reading his manga. Whatever it was, it must have been incredibly interesting because he was… engrossed to say the least.

           Not only did he seem to zone everything around him out, forgetting where he was, but he also felt the need to verbally or physically react to just about everything that was happening in his childish story. He was annoying, sure, but not loud enough to where he could be considered “disturbing the peace” even though he was certainly disturbing YOUR peace. Every two seconds there was an “oooh” or an “ahhhh” maybe even a “WHAT?!” thrown in there. Your patience was certainly running thin and you made sure to glare at him a few times, even hushing him along with the other patrons, but he just was not getting the hint. The next page must have had a huge plot twist or surprise thrown in there because this response, it was the most dramatic. Abruptly, he stood up out of his chair, knocking it to the ground in the process. His eyes were even bigger than before (was that even possible?) and he yelled (yes, this time it was a yell). His exact words were “NO!!! IT WAS HER BROTHER ALL ALONG?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!.” Spoilers, am I right?

           At this you had had enough. Sure, you didn’t like confrontation, but it didn’t seem like anyone else was going to step in and you knew Yachi would be a nervous wreck if she had to. So, you marched over to his table with the most aggressive scowl you think you have ever sported on your face.

“Are you trying to piss off everyone in the store?! Because you’re doing a really good job if that was your plan!” You screamed at the stranger’s face.

He looked up at you confusion written all over his face. “…Huh?” he questioned.

“Are you trying to tell me you have no idea what you’ve been doing for the past 30 minutes?? Because I don’t buy it. You’re being incredibly loud and rude and you need to stop. This is not the place for that. Some people are trying to get work down and you’re making it incredibly difficult. If you wanna read your manga fine do it but do it quietly. Save the theatrics for your bedroom.” you weren’t trying to be mean but you couldn’t help it. Once you start talking you can’t stop yourself and this time you went a little too far. His hair seemed to deflate, something you certainly didn’t miss because was that even possible?

“I’m sorry miss, I didn’t realize I was being so loud I’ll try to quiet down.” He replied with a huge pout on his face.

“Thank you.” You replied and promptly turned on your heels to go back to the violet you were so excited to study.

           Everything was going smoothly now, sure you didn’t mean to be that harsh and you could’ve asked him nicely but your anger took over and you couldn’t help it, though you did feel a bit bad. It certainly didn’t help that your day had started out as poorly as it did and you were so looking forward to the peace and quiet of the café, something that had been so rudely ripped away from you. Another 15 minutes passed by and the silence was amazing, you made some real progress in your journal, even completing a detailed sketch of the flower. After the 15 minutes was up however, the reactions started to seep back out from the yellow eyed man again. He seemed to be over his pouting now. His reactions, although much quieter this time were still quite annoying. You decided to ignore them though, thinking you had been a little too harsh the first time around, and hoping he just slipped up and will go back to being quiet. This, however, was not the case and the disruptions continued for another 10 minutes when you decided you better just leave. Fate is tricky and maybe you just weren’t fated to be at the café today, meaning you’ll try again tomorrow after work. You said your goodbyes to Yachi and made your way to the train station, looking forward to the peace and quiet of your apartment and the soft cuddles of your two cats, Kyo and Tohru.

           What you didn’t know, was that Yachi, deciding it was time to be bold, went over to the loud and excitable customer. She decided it best, for business and for her own sanity, if she politely asked him to leave. And she did just that. The man apologized and made his way out of the café feeling a bit defeated but determined to come back again and next time hopefully not get kicked out.

fear & love

4. series of unfortunate events

prev / next

masterlist

PLOT - y/n is in her first year of college at tokyo u., she has a great friend group, a fantastic internship, life is good… that is until she meets bokuto koutarou. this loud and brash volleyball star is about to turn y/n’s life upside down. the question is, will it be a good change or a bad one?

a/n - Im gonna be honest, not really loving this fic but I am pretty happy with how this chapter turned out, as always any advice is welcomed and pls if there's anything you want to see happen just ask!

taglist (open, send an ask) - @dumbb1tc4 @fleurishnblotts@coffeeaddictedmay@bigchaosenergy @noliamallpayne @evan-rose​ @bokutowo​

BOLD COULDNT BE TAGGED

[scatterpatter]

“I want to get into Kingdom Hearts, but where do I start?”

Uh oh sisters I’ve fallen into the fixation station, I wanna gush about KH so I’m gonna infodump about it! KH is confusing and there’s so much plot but it’s a really endearing series I promise

A few disclaimers if you wanna get into the series:

You can’t just play KH 1+2+3 and expect to understand everything, sadly. It’s not like Zelda where you can hop into any game at any point, you DO have to play most games if you want to understand the plot. That means that if you REALLY want to get into the KH fandom, you gotta put in a lot of hours. Of course you’re free to only play whatever you want, but if you wanna understand the plot you need to play all of them.

Even with all the games, the plot can be confusing. Nomura be like that. They ret-con a lot of plot points and give half-hearted explanations at times, you’re just gonna have to deal with that if you want to get into the series.

You WILL become emotionally attached to at least one character. Good luck making it through 358/2 Days without crying.

KH fans are usually p chill and are super eager to help make sense of the plot for you if you ask nicely. No seriously we’re THAT desperate to infodump. I once sat a friend down for 40 minutes explaining the Sora-Roxas-Xion-Namine-Kairi-Ventus-Vanitas situation. ... Also beware KH fans because of how desperate we are to infodump.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HERE’S A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO PLAYING THE KH SERIES UNDER THE CUT

Okay so I’m gonna lay out all of the games in 2 lists: order they were released and order they take place in the timeline. These lists will also include remakes and platforms

Order in which games were released:

Kingdom Hearts(2002 - PS2)

Chain of Memories(2004 - GBA) | Re:Chain of Memories(2007 - PS2)

Kingdom Hearts 2(2005 - PS2)

Coded(2008 - mobile) | Re:Coded(2010 - DS)

358/2 Days(2009 - DS)

Birth By Sleep(2010 - PSP)

Dream Drop Distance(2012 - 3DS)

χ* (mobile) ... See my asterisk below for this one

0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (Only included in 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, The Story So Far, and All-In-One-Package[See Collections below for more details])

Kingdom Hearts 3(2019 - PS4+Xbox 1)

Melody of Memory(2020 - PS4+XBox 1+Switch)

Order in which games take place chronologically:

χ* (mobile) ... See my asterisk below for this one

Birth By Sleep(2010 - PSP)

0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (Only included in 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, The Story So Far, and All-In-One-Package[See Collections below for more details]) 

Kingdom Hearts(2002 - PS2)

Chain of Memories(2004 - GBA) | Re:Chain of Memories(2007 - PS2)

358/2 Days(2009 - DS)

Kingdom Hearts 2(2005 - PS2)

Coded(2008 - mobile) | Re:Coded(2010 - DS)

Dream Drop Distance(2012 - 3DS)

Kingdom Hearts 3(2019 - PS4+Xbox 1)

Melody of Memory(2020 - PS4+XBox 1+Switch) [I presume it takes place after 3, but it wasn’t released yet so I’m not 100% sure]

Note: Chain of Memories and 358/2 Days kinda take place at the same time, but 358/2 Days goes past where Chain of Memories ends to I put CoM first

*What’s going on with χ :

Kingdom Hearts χ is... complicated. Long story short, it’s χ, Unchained χ, Union χ, and Dark Road all in one? Kind of? I’ll let Wikipedia explain:

So... yeah. They’re kind of all in one. To be honest, KHUX is not necessary for understanding the KH plot, but is still fun for people who enjoy mobile games and want a bit more lore- esp for fans who like self inserts. The plot of KHUX is the player’s self-insert character dealing with everything leading up to and going through the Keyblade War, whereas Dark Road covers Xehanort’s origin story. Back Cover(a movie, not a game) is in the same bundles as 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage, and covers the plot of the Union Leaders and Master of Masters leading up to the Keyblade War.

Don’t worry about it if you just want the plot, just watch the Back Cover movie and you’ll be fine <3

Collections:

Do you want to not have to buy like 10 games and like 5 different devices just to play the KH series? Have I got you covered! The following collections were released, each one containing more games than the last. Go with All-In-One if you want everything up to and including 3 

NOTE: some games are included as “Movies”. Rather than having a playable remake of the game, they play CG cutscenes of the game that explain the plot. Good if you just want the plot, but you’ll have to get the original game if you want the gameplay.

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix (2013 - PS3): Kingdom Hearts, Re:Chain of Memories, 358/2 Days[MOVIE]

Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 Remix (2014 - PS3): Kingdom Hearts 2, Birth by Sleep, Re:Coded[MOVIE]

Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue (2017 - PS4, 2020 - Xbox One): Dream Drop Distance, 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage, χ Back Cover[MOVIE]

Repackaged collections AKA more bang for your buck: 

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 + 2.5 Remix (2017 - PS4, 2020 - Xbox One): Everything in both 1.5 Remix and 2.5 Remix listed above

Kingdom Hearts: The Story So Far (2018 - PS4): Everything in 1.5 + 2.5 Remix AND all games listed in 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue

Kingdom Hearts: All-In-One-Package (2019 - PS4) Everything in The Story So Far AND KH3. Your entire KH plot before Melody of Memory is covered in this one

Videos:

“I can’t afford to get all of these things,” you cry in agony, “But I still want to understand the plot without just watching a summary video!” I feel you, I feel you. Well thank the youtuber gaming community, because every game has at least one compilation of every cutscene spliced together. The downside is you dont get to play the games, and you’ll miss some small things such as normal NPC dialogue that isn’t triggered by cutscenes alongside setting-centric context, but these are still your best friend if you want the full emotional weight and comprehension of the story. ... It’s also much faster to get through than watching or playing the entirety of the game. Length of each video is noted.

Kingdom Hearts (~4.5 hrs)

Chain of Memories (~3 hrs)

Kingdom Hearts 2 (~13 hrs)

Re:Coded[MOVIE] (~3 hrs)

358/2 Days[MOVIE] (~3 hrs)

Birth By Sleep (~6.5 hrs)

Dream Drop Distance (~5 hrs)

χ Back Cover[MOVIE] (~1 hr)

0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (~1hr)

Kingdom Hearts 3 (~10 hrs) | Re:Mind DLC (~3 hrs)

(protip: when i was binging these i watched them on 1.5X speed to get through them much faster. They talk slow enough that you can usually absorb it fine. Srsly I binged everything up to KH3 and watched most of these on 1.5X speed- I did the math it took me ~29.5 hours to get through ~40.5 hours worth of content.)

In Conclusion:

pls play kingdom hearts i need more people to cry with thank u for ur time

[freewheelshippin]

PIRATE pt 1 (ish)

It’s summer!!! I want to think about swashbuckling pirate AU adventures!!! I’m still thinking I might just snippet and snapshot the rest of the ideas I have here so it’s like a big bathtub full of toys I can do whateeeeever I want with, but you know. It’s me. I don’t do a damn thing without 1) slowburn 2) tappin into that Too Much Gene. So here u go, a setup. 

Takes place right after the events of Pirates of the Frontier drama CD-- you don’t have to have listened to be able to enjoy my offshoot, but you can read a great translation here and hear the whole thing here if you haven’t and would like to! (I still gotta find a sauce and watch the stageplay of it...but this is not about that!) 

Not much by ways of content warnings other than some reference to alcohol. Onwards!

Ikki came back with a smile that awarded Malreaux and the White Devil their first agreement. 

“Oi, Cap’n,” Malreaux growled. “Who the hell is she?” 

“Our new boatswain!” Ikki said without a shred of doubt in him. “She overheard me trying to recruit someone and said she was looking to join a crew.” 

The White Devil clicked his tongue, turned on his heel, and began to stride towards the ship. 

“And where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Malreaux barked after him. 

“I will let the peasantry sort their problems out,” he said, not bothering to even turn around and acknowledge them. “While I rest in my quarters.” 

“Don’t you fucking care who the hell Ikki decided to bring onto the ship?!” 

“I do not. Whomever is brought aboard is a new recruit and therefore beneath me. If they intend to be a turncoat, it is simple to kill them where they stand. Good night.” 

It was barely sundown. 

“Oi! OI! Get back here and deal with your problems like an actual crewmate, you hoity-toity bastard!” 

“...So what’s he do on the ship?” the new boatswain asked plainly. “Other than be a pompous ass?” 

“Be a pompous pain in the ass,” Malreaux muttered, giving up on getting the pale specter to listen. He crossed his arms, and his expression seemed a few words away from an outright snarl. “The cap recruited him barely two weeks ago,” he said pointedly, glaring a hole in the new recruit. 

“Malreaux, calm down, please!” Ikki pleaded. “Don’t worry, he’s not a bad person. He’s already helped us lots, and he cares…just, in his own way.” 

Malreaux looked incredulously at his captain, brows knit. “He threatened to throw you and your lucky pendant overboard because you ate some of his fucking macarons.” 

“But he didn’t!” Ikki defended. “Because he wants to find the Red Angel, too, you know, and we’re the only other people in the world he can do that with!”

 His crewmate sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead where it creased before giving Ikki’s recruit the once-over. 

“So who the hell are you?” 

“You can call me Maighread,” she replied coolly enough. Malreaux studied her expression, meeting her eye. She held his gaze challengingly, but he couldn’t shake the feeling she was hiding something.

“And what the hell makes you think you’re worthwhile joining us,” he said flatly. 

“Well,” she started, shifting her weight. She had an impractically big sword with her, and she began to lean on it. “For starters, Mr. Pompous, Pale, and Pillow Princess is proof positive you’ll all strangle each other at sea if you go much longer without a boatswain.” 

Malreaux snorted. “You think you can get him in line, huh.” 

“Oh, sure. Ikki tells me he’s a sweet tooth, I’m sure there’s a solution that involves padlocking the galley unless he’s been a good boy and pulled his weight.” 

Ikki laughed at that remark. “He’s going to be so dramatic if you do that!” 

“He’d shoot off the lock if you did that!” Malreaux barked, though he liked the idea of someone else on the ship who thought of the White Bastard as a problem. “But you still haven’t answered the fucking question about why I should let you on the ship.” Ikki opened his mouth before Malreaux cut him off. “From your mouth! I wanna hear whatever snake oil you fed him myself!” 

Ikki sighed. “I’m sorry, he’s just looking out for us.” 

“No, no. I get it. Honestly, there’s not much story to tell. I’m a scholar, and I’m on a hunt for rare plants and animals that haven’t been recorded yet.” She opened a pouch on her belt, showing it was stuffed with drawing tools, and handed Malreaux the book strapped at her hip. He took note of the tattoos scaling up her hands and arms as she handed it to him; the images were fearsome and aggressive, but not from any dangerous allegiance he confidently recognized. 

“What the hell’s a scholar doing looking for a tiny pirate crew like this, huh? Shouldn’t you have fancy navy escorts?” He flipped through the book. Indeed, they were mostly sketches and notes of flowers, plants, and animals, the pages warped and slightly shimmering from dried-up seaspray.

“Fancy navy escorts are a natural disaster with government funding,” she supplied. “You heard about the ones that torched a whole island just for fun? The way I see it, I’d rather trust a small crew headed by a good man to take me to new places we don’t know how to respect yet.” 

“And what kinda scholar needs a big dumb sword like that?” 

“Family heirloom,” she said flatly. “My dear old departed khun yai meemaw would flood the seas with her tears if he found out I wasn’t taking ole necklopper everywhere for protection,” she continued facetiously. 

Malreaux met her eye, still frowning. He tossed her back her book. 

��I don’t like her,” he remarked to Ikki as he crossed his arms. 

“Why not?” he asked genuinely. 

“She seems like bad news.” 

“She seems like a good person, and she’s already offered to use her skills to help me find the Red Angel.” 

“You ever met a scholar covered in ink like that?” Malreaux replied. 

“You’re covered in ink like that,” Maighread shot back. 

“Yeah,” he snorted. “And I’m bad news. But we’re short on hands, the captain likes you, and I’m just the cook. We’re ditching you at the next port if I’m not convinced by then,” he said, shouldering the pack of goods he’d bought as he went to board. 

Maighread shouldered her sword again. “I’ll be on my best behavior, chef,” she called after him, letting a long sigh of relief out when she thought Malreux was safely out of earshot. 

“That went great,” Ikki cheered, patting her heartily on the back. 

“...Really,” she said, looking at Ikki disbelievingly. 

“Well, why else do you think our crew’s so small? I know he’s kinda rough, but I don’t think I’ve known anyone who’s worked harder to keep me safe. Normally he’s way, way angrier about how annoying someone I want to recruit is or just doesn’t let them onboard to begin with.” 

“I’m glad I had you vouching for me, then,” she replied with a tired smile. “So, all that’s left is to fetch dinner and we’re good to depart?” 

“Yeah! I ordered ahead of time. Four whole portions of fresh steak, to celebrate our new crewmate with,” Ikki replied with a beaming, infectious smile. 

--------------------------------- 

Maighread set to work immediately, as promised, but with gusto and ease like her sealegs had been built on this ship. The White Devil was goaded into tasks he complained furiously about but did impeccably, she took plenty on herself, while Ikki and Malreaux redistributed their responsibilities amongst one another. There was less for Malreux to do, in a relieving way, and he could focus more on the meals they relied on to keep spirits high and their bodies alive. 

She was talkative at meals, but evasive about any real questions they had about her. She only started conversation with Ikki, and seemed to avoid Malreaux outside of duty. So when she asked Malreaux for a favor at the next port, he was caught off-guard. 

“Assuming you don’t still think I’m a disaster waiting to happen.” 

“...You earned points just for getting the pale bastard to pull his weight. Figures he’s wicked competent.” 

“I won’t lie,” she started, encouraged. “I feel a little bad. Some stuff I assigned him was out of pure pettiness. I just can’t fuckin’ stand how he thinks he can order me around and call me peasant.” 

Malreux’s mouth crooked into a smile. He told himself it was because someone else was as sick of that shit as he was, and Ikki was too forgiving, even when he was the one the White Devil was taking most advantage of. “It’s what that fop needs. He can’t keep going around like this, and it pisses me off he’s got all that fancy magic that means we can’t just kick his ass.” 

“Oh. What, that rope trick he does?” 

Malreaux groaned. “My ribs still hurt from last time.” 

“What?” She grinned at him. “You’re serious, he used it on you?” 

“Did the captain seriously not tell you how we met that bastard?!” he grunted irascibly. 

“Why don’t you tell me all about it later? Sounds like a conversation you can’t have in polite company,” she said with a challenging smile, leaning ever so-slightly-back into the busy port town behind her.

“Shaddup!” Malreaux barked. “You really wanna undo all the good will you earned?” 

“Well,” she replied, the smile softening into something more relieved, “it’s nice you admit I’ve earned any to begin with. Lemme earn some more. I got an idea that’ll get us some coin, but we gotta go now.” 

“Fine. I can see just what kind of bad news you are that way.” Maighread’s face fell for a half a moment before she stopped herself from giving away anything more. 

“Oh, just the worst. Like, fuck you and the boat you rode in on. C’mon.” 

They strolled through town. Maighread tucked her sleeves into her bracers despite the heat, hiding away the markings lining her arms, even as townsfolk gave them extra wide berth as Malreaux didn’t bother to hide his. 

She took them to a liquor distiller in a back alley, unmarked and unpopular, where she negotiated buying barrels of rum wholesale to age in the ship’s hold. They’d sell them at different ports and spread the word of the distiller, and they’d likewise keep some for the crew to do with whatever they pleased. She looked pointedly at Malreaux as she paid for it with her own money, and he could only snort and gesture to show he got the point. 

Malreaux was strong enough to pick one barrel up over each shoulder. He caught out of the corner of his eye that she’d seemed ready to roll hers back to the ship, but she tried to hoist hers up the same way once Malreaux had lifted his up. 

“What the hell are you doing,” he growled. “Don’t try and show off if you’re not strong enough.” 

“I’m strong enough,” she replied with more venom than he’d seen or frankly expected from her. 

“You aren’t if you’re just gonna slow me down.” Malreaux started to walk ahead, back to the ship. She trailed far behind, like he expected, as she insisted on carrying them herself. He met her part-way back after loading them onto the ship and seized one of them off her shoulder. 

“What’re you trying to fucking prove?!” he scolded.  “You’re the fucking boatswain, who fucking expects you to be freakishly strong like me?” 

She snorted, trying to hide how heavily she was breathing. “Oh, yeah, ‘cause the first thing Ikki thought when you met was ‘hm, that guy’s really strong, I better make him my cook!’” She paused. “...ah, shit, nevermind, he might’ve thought that.” 

Malreaux, despite himself, laughed. She looked so relieved when he did, and he set the barrel down as he sighed heavily. 

“......Look,” he started, despite everything telling him he shouldn’t bother for just another seafarer who’d leave him for dead someday if it suited her.  “I’m still not convinced on you, but I’m not gonna kick you out just ‘cuz you don’t lift a barrel like I do.” 

“....it’s about my pride, too,” she admitted, but she laid the other barrel on her shoulder down on its side, bracing her foot on it to keep it from rolling away. 

“Well.” Malreaux kicked a barrel over to roll himself. “Can’t fault you for having that. Just stop doing stupid shit ‘cause of it, you’re gonna make trouble for me ‘n Ikki.” 

Maighread didn’t reply verbally, but the look she gave him was grateful, and she kicked the barrel in front of her gently to get it rolling towards the ship. They didn’t talk outside of practicalities as they loaded the rest of the barrels, but Maighread walked side-by-side with him from then on. 

It was as he passed her a handspike for the turnstile that she started a new conversation. 

“Can I ask you something?” She notched the first one in, and he tossed her the second one. 

“What.” 

“Nothing big. I just wanna know how you met Ikki. You two really look out for one another.” 

Malreaux hesitated as he took his place opposite her. 

“Haul,” he signaled, as he gripped and leaned into the handspike. 

“Haul away,” she replied, and they groaned forward, slowly lifting all the barrels off the deck to lower into the hold. “You gonna answer my question or not?” 

“I got left behind by my old crew and he picked me up.” 

“....like a kid and a stray,” she offered, a touch of apprehension in her voice. 

“Exactly like a kid and a stray.” 

 “I mean...it still sucks to get stuck like that, even if it got you a good captain.” 

“No. I dug that hole for myself. I must’ve fought everyone on that crew at least twice over and drawn blood from them at least once. I didn’t know shit about how to be on a crew. It was a long time coming.” 

“...huh.” 

“What?” 

“Oh, nothing, I’m just. You’re impressively honest is all.” 

Malreaux narrowed his eyes, even if the compliment didn’t feel sour. “Just baring my fangs. I never said I wouldn’t kick you into the sea right after we get all the rum loaded.”

“Heh. I’ll fight you tooth and nail when you inevitably don’t double-cross me.” 

“What’s that confidence for? Tch.” 

She laughed before they reversed and slowly lowered everything into the hold. Malreaux wanted to dislike how natural these motions felt together, but instead his body just felt lighter. 

In the hold, as they untied the lines holding the barrels together, she insisted they take a little sample of the rum. She said it was for comparing the taste later. Malreaux thought it was for making sure it wasn’t water with a shot of piss. 

“....He deserves it,” Malreaux admitted after the slight burn of the rum fired the nerves in his tongue until it almost hurt. 

“Hm?” 

“Ikki. If someone’s going to put their faith and trust in me, I owe them my best. That’s how it works, doesn’t it?” 

“It should.” She took the cup from him. “I can promise you I’ll abide by that, too.” 

Malreaux steeled his gaze on her. If she was a charlatan, she was a goddamn good one. 

[doomedhowell]

It’s All Fun And Games (Until You Get Blackmailed)

Summary: Dan and Phil are in a relationship, but everybody at school thinks they hate each other. In order to have a fun date night, Dan and Phil travel out of town so nobody recognizes them. They think they’re safe, but are they?

Genre: AU

Word Count: 3,385

Trigger Warnings: swearing (from both Dan and Phil)

A/N: Thank you so much @waitforiiiiiiiiiiiit for being kind enough to beta this! :D

“Hi Dan!”

“Hey,” Dan smiles at the group of girls, chuckling to himself when they all squeal with excitement. Honestly, Dan thinks it’s hilarious that he can speak just one single word to the girls around this school, and they all lose their minds. Dan will never date any of them of course, but why not have a little fun?

Dan gasps as soon as he bumps into someone. “Shit-!” He looks up and his eyes widen slightly when he sees that it’s none other than Phil Lester. Dan glares at him. “Watch where you’re fucking going, Lester…”

Phil chuckles. “Easy, tiger. Might want to watch that language of yours,” he says.

“Fuck off,” Dan snaps. “Are you always a dick? I’m just curious.”

“That’s funny, Howell. Are you always a slut?” Phil retorts quickly, surprising Dan by his choice of words. They’ve always bickered with each other during school, but Phil has never gone that far. “I’m just curious. Next time, why don’t you watch where you’re fucking going?” He smirks, and then he turns around and walks away without saying another word to Dan, leaving Dan speechless.

Dan takes a deep breath as he stands there, ignoring the stares that he’s getting from the other students. He quickly continues on his way, heading straight to his locker so he can get to class.

“Howell!”

Dan stops what he’s doing and looks over, seeing one of his soccer teammates run up to him. “Yeah?”

“You coming to the party this weekend?”

“Party?” Dan asks, raising his eyebrows at Alex. “What party?”

“Adam is throwing a party on Saturday, and everybody’s invited. You coming?”

“Dude, the coach is going to fucking kill us if he finds out we were all at a party on Saturday. We’ve got a game after school on Monday,” Dan says, shutting his locker.

“Since when did you start caring about what the coach says?” Alex asks, raising his eyebrows.

“I don’t. I just don’t want to get kicked off the team for doing something stupid,” Dan sighs. “Look, I can’t. But, maybe next time. I’ve got plans this weekend.”

“Whatever, dude, wanna skip class? I could really use a smoke right now.”

Dan bites his lip, debating on whether or not he should skip. “Well, we’re only watching a movie today. So, hell yeah. Let’s skip. Let me put my books away first,” he says, re-opening his locker.

“Wait a minute… you were actually going to go to class?” Alex laughs.

“Shut up,” Dan reaches over and pushes him playfully, and then puts his books back into his locker.

While Dan is hanging outside behind a building with Alex, smoking, he receives a text.

“Someone’s popular,” Alex jokes when Dan’s phone dings.

Dan rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out. He looks down and bites his lip nervously when he sees that he’s got a text from Phil. He’s still upset about Phil calling him a slut earlier.

What most people don’t know is that Dan and Phil are actually dating. They have been for nine months, nobody knows because they decided to keep it a secret to protect their school reputations.

Dan and Phil are the bad boys of the school. In reality, they are quite similar to each other, but people think that they hate each other. They’re constantly trying to one-up each other and trying to impress the other students and even some of the teachers. Whether it be with the clothes they wear, skipping classes, or seeing who can make the other jealous by flirting with other students. That’s how it’s always been between the two of them, and they wanted it to keep it that way. For now, anyways.

Dan opens the text, and sighs when he sees that it’s an apology from Phil.

From Phil: i’m sorry baby, i didn’t mean to call you a slut earlier. i took it too far. i hope you’re not mad at me

From Dan: ur lucky i love u, come over after school?

From Phil: i’ll be there love u

Dan smiles as he reads the texts. He’s glad Phil apologized, otherwise it would have bothered Dan.

“Who the hell are you texting that’s got you giggling like a little girl over there?”

Dan jumps and looks over at Alex, sighing. “Christ, Al. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Alex smirks, proud of himself. “Maybe. Are you going to answer my question or not?”

Dan sighs. “I was not giggling like a little girl. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was a crime to smile these days,”

“Well, it’s not. But, seeing you be all smiley and shit because of someone texting you is something that you don’t really see very often. So, are you going to spill the beans on who this person is?” Alex asks.

“It was just my mom,” Dan lies quickly. “It’s about something we have planned this weekend. I’m excited.”

“Hm,” Alex says before sticking his cigarette back into his mouth.

Dan sighs and leans back against the building, wishing this school day would just be over now.

After school, Dan says goodbye to his friends before getting into his car and heading home to see Phil.

Phil is already waiting for him on his porch when Dan gets home.

“Hey,” Dan smiles as he walks up onto the porch, and is immediately engulfed into a hug. “Phil!”

“God, I’m so fucking sorry Dan. I know I already sent you a text but I need to apologize again. I shouldn’t have said that earlier and I wish I could take it back. I don’t think you’re a slut,” Phil rambles.

“Phil,” Dan laughs and then he pulls away from the hug. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad.”

“I’m just worried someone heard me say that and they’re going to make it worse,” Phil mumbles.

“Whatever. If it happens, then I’ll deal with it. I’m not worried,” Dan says. He reaches up and kisses Phil. “Come on, let’s go inside.” He grabs Phil’s hand and leads the way inside. “I’m home!” He shouts loudly, before running up the stairs with Phil to his bedroom. He quickly shuts the door, and then he turns around and kisses roughly Phil. “You owe me for what you said earlier.”

“You said you weren’t mad at me,” Phil pouts.

“I’m not mad at you. I promise I’m not. But, you still owe me,” Dan smirks.

“And, what would you like from me?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows.

“You know exactly what I want-” Dan grabs Phil and leads him over to the bed.

Later on, Dan and Phil decide they want to do something outside of the house instead of the normal ‘making popcorn and try to find a movie on Netflix to watch’ which usually ends with them giving up.

It’s risky, but they decide to go somewhere where hopefully no one from school will recognize them.

Dan and Phil decide on going to an arcade that’s about an hour away from where they live. Unfortunately, they only have a couple of hours to spend with each other due to their curfew set by their parents, so they’re taking advantage of every second they have.

“I hope you’re ready to lose at air hockey,” Phil smirks as he looks at Dan as they walk through arcade.

“Bitch, yeah right-” Dan rolls his eyes. “I kick your ass every time we play air hockey. Today’s no different!”

Phil laughs, knowing how competitive Dan is. Dan hates losing no matter what the competition is; whether it’s playing games at the arcade or simply playing Mario Kart, and does whatever he can to prev Phil from not winning. Phil doesn’t even care if he loses. He just finds Dan’s competitiveness so entertaining.

“Wanna make this more interesting?” Dan asks as he and Phil stand at the air hockey table.

“Go on?” Phil raises his eyebrows as he looks up at Dan curiously.

“Okay, it’s not that interesting. But, how about a challenge? Loser buys dinner,” Dan grins.

Phil laughs. “Okay, you’re so on, buddy,” he says, grabbing a hockey puck and placing it in the middle.

Much to Dan’s surprise, Phil ends up winning air hockey overall.

“What the hell?” Dan throws his arms up angrily after the game is over. “You cheated!”

“Whatever. You’re pissed that I won and now you have to pay for dinner. So, what are you buying me?”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying. I can’t believe I put up with you-” Dan mumbles, shoving Phil away.

“Aw, come on, baby-” Phil quickly pulls Dan back to him and he quickly wraps his arms around Dan, which gives Dan no room to escape. Dan can’t help but allow himself to melt into Phil’s arms. Phil smiles, and leans down to kiss Dan gently a few times.

“You’re lucky I love you so much that I don’t actually mind buying dinner for you.”

“But the fact that you lost?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, I’m furious,” Dan laughs, escaping from Phil’s hold. “Come on, we gotta go find somewhere to eat.”

Dan and Phil end up having an amazing date night together, despite Dan losing at air hockey, but Dan honestly just loves being able to spend time with Phil without worrying about one of their classmates seeing them together. It’s rare when they get to act like this in public.

However, the fun doesn’t last very long.

It’s the next morning when Dan wakes up to a horrifying anonymous text, which consists of a picture of him and Phil kissing at the arcade last night. Dan has no idea who took this picture or sent the text.

The picture also comes with a text: I knew there was something going on with you two, and now I have proof. Meet me after school tomorrow and we’ll talk. Say anything to anyone, especially Lester, and I won’t hesitate leaking the picture.

Dan closes his eyes when he finishes reading the text.

“Fuck!” Dan cries before burying his face in his hands, unable to stop the tears from pouring out.

The worst part is, he can’t even tell Phil about this, otherwise the picture will be leaked. Dan doesn’t even know who this person is. It could be anyone. Someone he knows personally, or a stranger. Dan’s terrified.

Dan tries his best acting normal the next day at school, but it’s obvious that he’s distracted and jumpy. Dan’s been avoiding Phil all morning which isn’t that weird to the other students in school considering they all think Dan and Phil hate each other. But Dan can tell that Phil’s getting annoyed with him, as Dan’s not answering any of his text messages, so Phil knows that something is wrong.

From Phil: love u baby, did I do something wrong? pls answer asap i’m worried about u … are u still coming over tonight?

Dan groans and closes his eyes after he reads Phil’s latest text messages, making him feel even more terrible about ignoring him. Dan feels terrible about this whole thing, but he can’t risk talking to Phil because the pictures will be leaked and that’s not how Dan wants his and Phil’s relationship to be known.

“Something got you feeling down, Howell?”

Dan’s head instantly snaps up at the familiar voice. He looks over and his eyes widen when he sees Alex walking into view. He’s been waiting outside of school for about ten minutes for the anonymous texter.

“A-Alex?” Dan asks, taking a deep breath. “Y-You were the one who texted me last night?”

“That’s right,” Alex replies with a smirk, before he walks over to him. “I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t figure it out right away it was me when I told you to come meet me at this exact spot. I mean, we always meet here when we skip. You’re cute, Dan, but you aren’t very bright, are you?”

“Hey, shut up! A lot of people meet here,” Dan quickly defends himself. “Alright, Alex. I haven’t told Phil, in fact, I’ve been completely avoiding him all day, so talk. How did you get that picture of me and Phil?”

“I was visiting a friend last night in that area and we were at the arcade,” Alex tells him.

Dan silently curses. “I thought we were safe,”

“Guess not. I knew you were gay. But, really… Phil Lester?” Alex asks.

“What’s wrong with Phil?” Dan asks, ready to defend his boyfriend.

“Nothing’s wrong with him. I’m just surprised you chose him. You could have anyone you want. Like... me,”

Dan frowns, and looks up at Alex. “What are you trying to say here, Alex?” He asks nervously.

“Dammit, I’m in love with you, Dan!” Alex yells, making Dan jump. “Shit, we’ve been friends for years, and I’ve had a crush on you since we met, but you’ve been completely oblivious this whole time.”

“Alex,” Dan whispers with shock, and then he shakes his head. “You should have said something, Al!”

“Yeah, and what the hell was I supposed to say?” Alex asks. “I didn’t know you were gay back then. I was just figuring out that I was gay and I was worried that I would lose you as a friend.”

“I would have never judged you for being gay. I don’t judge you for being gay now,” Dan says. “So, what? What are we doing here? You’re not going to tell anyone about our relationship, are you?”

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Alex shakes his head.

Dan sighs in relief. “Thank God. I knew you wouldn’t actually tell anyone,” he smiles.

“Not unless I get what I want,” Alex adds quickly.

Dan blinks a few times. “And, what is it exactly that you want?” He asks.

“You,” Alex says simply. “I thought I made it clear what I wanted?”

“What? No. I’m sorry, Al. But, I’m with Phil. I love him,” Dan says. “I thought I made that clear.”

“I know that, Dan. I’m not a fucking idiot,” Alex snaps before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I-I just… fuck, I’ve always wanted to feel what it’s like to be with the Dan Howell.”

“So, you think blackmailing me is going to achieve that? You’re sick, Al. I thought you were my friend,”

“Well, I want you as more than a friend!” Alex yells, before grabbing Dan and kissing him harshly.

Dan’s eyes widen with shock, and then he quickly pushes Alex away before the kiss goes further. “Enough!” He cries as he takes deep breaths. “I’m really sorry, Alex. I’m sorry that it has to end this way but we can’t be together. The only person I want to be with right now is Phil and nothing will change that, so I don’t care if you post that picture. I really hope you decide to do the right thing because no one should be outed that way. But do what you have to do, I guess. I-I have to go,” Dan shakes his head, and then he runs away from Alex as fast as his feet can possibly take him.

Dan gasps when he bumps into someone.

“Dan?”

Dan looks up and his eyes widen when he sees that it’s Phil who he’s run into.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

Dan doesn’t realize he’s crying until Phil wipes away his tears.

Dan sobs and falls into Phil’s arms. “I’m sorry, Phil! It’s my fault! I should have been more careful…”

Phil frowns as Dan rambles on, though he still keeps the smaller boy close to his chest. “Dan, what…?” He bites his lip, and then he pulls away from Dan. “Come on, let’s go sit in the car and calm down.”

Phil quickly leads Dan over to his car, and the two get in.

Phil looks over at Dan once they’re both settled into the car. “Dan, talk to me. What happened?”

Dan takes a deep breath before looking up at Phil. “I should have told you as soon as I got the text, but… I was too scared. I couldn’t risk it,” he says.

“What text are you talking about?” Phil asks softly.

“I got an anonymous text last night after I got home. It was a picture of me and you kissing at the arcade. They told me not to tell anyone until we talk because they would leak the picture otherwise, so I met up with the person after school just now,” Dan explains, hoping that Phil won’t be upset.

“Dan,” Phil’s eyes widen after Dan finishes. “Jesus Christ, Dan. I’ve been fucking worrying about you all damn day! I thought I did something wrong, or that you were going to break up with me.”

“No,” Dan shakes his head. “I-I just wanted to talk to this person first.”

“So, who sent you the text?” Phil asks curiously.

“Alex,” Dan mumbles. “Alex sent me the picture. He was going to blackmail me. He’s in love with me, Phil. He wanted me to be with him, not you.”

“That son of bitch!” Phil yells, clenching his fists angrily. “I’ll kill him. Did he do anything to you?”

“Phil, can we talk at home please?” Dan begs. “All I know is that there’s a chance Alex is going to leak that picture and the whole school will find out about us. I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

“Dan, no-” Phil reaches over and grabs Dan’s hand. “It’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is!” Dan snaps. “I’m the one who suggested that we go out of town for our date.”

“Dan, listen to me. We both thought it was safe. There’s absolutely no way that you or I could have known that Alex was going to be there on the same day as us. It is not your fault,” Phil warns softly.

Dan closes his eyes. “I just didn’t want our relationship to come out like this,” he whispers.

“I know, and I wish there was something I could do to change it,” Phil whispers before pulling Dan into a comforting hug. “We just have to wait and see what happens. That’s all I can say.”

Dan pulls away from the hug. “It’s all fun and games until your best friend decides to blackmail you,” he mumbles, shaking his head.

So when Dan walks into school on Friday morning, he expects to be hit with stares and whispers from the other students. But, he’s shocked when he walks in without a single look from anybody.

This is not what he expected. Did Alex not leak the picture of him and Phil together?

Maybe Alex actually did have a change of heart.

Dan nervously walks to his locker by himself. He and Phil decide not to walk into school together tomorrow in case a miracle happened. If Alex doesn’t end up posting the picture, then they still want to come out on their own terms. And, right now… they just aren’t ready to come out yet as a couple.

Dan opens his locker, his hands shaking slightly. He looks around. Still nothing.

Then, he surprisingly spots Alex down at the end of the hallway. Dan stares at him with wide eyes, and he can actually see the guilty look on Alex’s face. Alex gives him a small smile before turning around and walking away. This surprises Dan. Alex had been acting totally different yesterday, after admitting that he’d been in love with Dan this whole time. But now, it seems that he has had a change of heart.

Dan’s unsure of what this means for his and Alex’s friendship, but right now, he’s just happy and relieved that his and Phil’s relationship still remains a secret, and hopefully they’ll be able to come out soon.

Dan quickly pulls out his phone and then sends a text to Phil.

From Dan: I just saw Alex. I don’t think he posted the picture. I think we’re in the clear.

From Phil: that’s such a relief. keep me updated. love u have a good day baby

Dan can’t help but smile at Phil’s second message. He turns around and leans against his locker, and can’t help but sigh in relief. Maybe things will be okay after all.

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!!  i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me.  these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor.  i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark. 

so is this newest film just as good as their other work???  well id say yeah for sure!!!  it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters.  the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West.  its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content.  its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent.  im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite.  so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways.  there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”.  this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller.  he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew.  james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all).  right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her. 

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it.  i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok.  james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through.  maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over.  its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon.  the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion.  i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance.  ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail.  he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down.  turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything.  now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon.  problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does.  the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close.  so now its like a pseudo love story thing.  except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be???  like it just kept  going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was.  i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about. 

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey.  this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous.  what beautiful scenery and cinematography.  it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold.  there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit.  and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things.  i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits.  but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!!  “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far.  so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort.  they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say.  the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs.  the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning.  and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s.  and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures).  they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes.  these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel.  no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great!  i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect.  Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other.  hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two.  and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too.  this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period.  makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable.  but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer.   the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages.  meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members.  he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed.  u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet.  and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math.  he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him.  and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment!  harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me.  and his non-verbal communication was really solid too.  liam neeson did really well in his role too.  and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie.  “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up.  tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park.  we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in.   this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.  i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments. 

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together.  its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well.  in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre.  so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!!  i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days.  until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something.  chew some tobaccy.  fondle a barmaids titties.  die of dysentery.  y’know just old west things~

[princessamericachavez]

Do you have tips on taking notes during lectures... still cant get that shit right

Hey, there! 

Well... I’ve never been particularly good at note taking (mostly because my mind starts to wander and I end up doodling in all my notebooks) but I did pick up a few techniques that got me through HS and College. So let’s see if I can make sense of them and pass them along. 

First of all: pay attention. Yes, I know this is pretty basic, but hear me out. In my experience, it easy to be so into writing perfect notes that you miss like 60% of what’s actually being said in class, so you’re just transcribing rather than learning. Like I said, my notes were usually a mess, but I could usually ace tests because I’d actually always be listening (even when doodling) and putting attention and doing my best to understand what they were trying to teach us. So that’s like my most basic #1 class survival rule. 

Now, onto actually taking notes there’s two different kinds of notes that work for me. 

ORGANIZED NOTES:  this goes for teachers/lecturers that are clearly mentally organized. You know, the kind that get to the classroom with a plan and a slideshow and follow the syllabus themes order and stuff. 

For well organized teachers, well organized notes. This will make your life a thousand times easier when studying. Here are the basics for this kinds of notes:

Break it down in different levels. When the day starts, the teacher/lecturer will probably tell you what “today’s theme” is. That’s your MAIN TITLE. Then, whatever they start talking about first is your THEME 1. Which then will probably have sub-themes, and then, inside the sub-themes, the info. 

So, what you wanna do is: Number the themes, use letters for the subthemes and then dashes for the info.

If you can, buy a few colorful pens and add different colors to each level (title, theme, subtheme, info).

Example: 

HOW TO TAKE NOTES (title)

1. ORGANIZED NOTES (first theme)

a) when to take them

- when your teacher is organized

- when you are very organized

- if you need to put information in a more organized form to understand it

b) how to take them

- divide per levels (themes, subthemes, info)

- give each a different numbering system

- color code

c) etc.

2. MESSY NOTES (second theme)

a) etc, etc etc.

YA FEEL ME??? As you can see, the trick with this kind of notes is not writing everything as a matter of fact you write very little info but you organize it in a way that will make sense within the bigger theme. 

MESSY NOTES: so okay, some times your teacher/lecturer just talks for like one or two hours nonstop and while you know that they are giving you lots of info you also wouldn’t be able to break it down by themes or anything. 

This usually happens because either your teacher is scattered minded or because the theme is very complex and several concepts relate with each other in different ways. So what do we do? We adapt:

MAPS MAPS MAPS. 

Mental maps rock for this kinds of classes. 

Like, you just write words and phrases and connect them through arrows with each other, that way you can connect one concept to several others. (write in the arrows how they relate so that later on you don’t have to go to your notes and be like “wtf is that supposed to mean anyway???”).

All kinds of maps!!!! 

Like, if your teacher is clearly contrasting two or three topics just divide the page in columns and write info in each accordingly. 

Sketches!!!! I used to love drawing sketches, especially for like sciency stuff. Like, it’s much easier to understand a physics formula if, next to the hard info, you just do a drawing that roughly explains why it works that way. 

Also, when I studied communications, I used to do a lot of sketches for social theories, where you draw like the main people/parts involved and then with arrows or more drawings explain how they relate to each other and the effect they have.

Anything works. Basically:

FIND A WAY YOU CAN VISUALIZE THE INFORMATION. The most important part in this kinds of notes that you find a way to understand correlation of the different moving parts in the theme and find a way to see the full picture and how it all works together.

THE TRICKS:

This go for either kind of notes you wanna take:

If the teacher spends time talking about a topic: YOU WRITE IT DOWN. 

If the teacher repeats a concept: YOU WRITE DOWN AND UNDERLINE IT

If the teacher makes especial emphasis on something: YOU WRITE IT DOWN, UNDERLINE IT AND CIRCLE IT. THAT SHIT’S IMPORTANT Y’ALL

Like, just generally pay attention to what the lecturer says and how they say it, and use it to find out what information will be most important to write down. 

Also

like

I can’t stress this enough but 

IF IT’S ON THE BOARD IT’S IN YOUR NOTEBOOK

Like, if the teacher/lecturer takes the time to write something on the board? You definitively need to write that down.

If the teacher draws something on the board, you copy it on your notebook. 

There’s a reason they use the board!!!

ASK. 

ASK WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

ASK WHAT ISN’T CLEAR.

ASK WHAT YOU DIDN’T QUITE HEAR WELL.

Listen, we all get nervous or anxious about raising our hand in class, but it’s still a million times better than staring at your notes later and not really understanding what the hell they mean. 

ASK AND LISTEN AND /THEN/ WRITE THE ANSWER. 

Like, seriously. If there’s something you don’t understand and then while it’s being explained to you you are simultaneously trying to write it down, you’ll miss the information. 

LISTEN. UNDERSTAND. THEN, WRITE.

Also, a good thing to do, especially when you are trying to make sense of how different concepts or pieces of information correlate is confirm by asking. 

Like, if I have SUBJECT A, B and C. And I think they all relate in X way. I’ll raise my hand and ask the teacher exactly that. That way, if you are right, you are helping the rest of the class and confirming your understanding, but more importantly if you are wrong you can fix it in your notes instead of taking home wrong notes that will later confuse you. 

Also please listen: 

ALWAYS WRITE NAMES AND DATES. Like, there’s no way you’re always gonna magically remember hard facts like that, so you gotta write them down for later. Believe me.

FINALLY: 

Adding a few pictures of my notes form last year’s semester here so you can see for yourselves the weird mixed of organized and messy notes I take and like just a better view at all the stuff I said here. 

Really hoping this helps!!

Organized notes:

Messy Notes:

Sometimes I do both (+ a doodles so u can see I’m easily distracted):

Some color coded stuff:

ANYWAY I HOPE THIS HELPS!!!!!

[indcliblee-blog]

hey there demons, it’s me...sam ( she / her, twenty one, est timezone ) and y’all are so talented. i am not worthy, but ANYWAYS. character info under the cut. lmk if you wanna plot!

*　charlie heaton, cis male, he/him, oc　━━　riverdale’s very own HARRISON IRVING is now twenty three years old. they have lived in town for twenty one years, and pop never forgot their regular ━ earl grey tea with milk and sugar. you’ll likely find the car thief/ghoulie around the house of the dead, probably pretending he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. their friends on the southside will tell you all about how they’re pensive, resourceful and charming, but others might describe them as aloof or sarcastic. oh well, no matter how you feel about irving, you can’t deny that they somehow manage to make that huge scar over their right eye look cool.　━━　

so, first thing’s first. irving is one of those people who goes by his last name and 99.9% of the entire population doesn’t even realize that irving...isn’t his first name. only Special People™ are allowed to call him harrison ( or harry as his mom called him ). anyone else does and he’ll Fite but...nobody knows his name is harrison so like. why would you randomly call him that.

anyways. irving was born to an english mother in leeds. who is his father? what happened to him? why has the man literally never been in his life? irving doesn’t know! he does know that his mom moved the two of them out to america when he was about a year old, and then finally settled in riverdale by the time he was two.

he does in fact have an accent. ur welcome. except it’s usually not very pronounced although the more pissed off he is, the british-er he gets lmao. also tends to use british slang words for No Good Reason considering everyone usually needs a minute to figure out what he’s referring to when he says: “trainers” “chips” “queue” “takeaway” “lift” u get it. s/o to his very british mum for all of that.

has lived in the southside since he was two years old and has always been familiar with the ghoulies because his mom has been buying drugs from them for as long as he can remember. she worked tons of jobs all across town over the years in order to support her habit during his childhood. and what did she do to support irving? not much tbh, BUT. irving has always loved her very very dearly.

of course, no one else in riverdale ever seemed to care for the woman at all, but hey. she was a teen mom ( later formerly ) with well - known drug addiction issues and a revolving door of shitty “boyfriends” so. being labelled one of the trashiest women in town was inevitable and there was nothing she could really do about it. people were gonna say whatever they wanted and that was that. she got along just fine anyhow, mostly by shamelessly taking on any jobs, dinners, coins, etc offered to her by townspeople who were honestly just giving her pity handouts. anything so she could afford her drugs, you know?

irving was often left fending for himself out on the streets and since it never killed him ig he did okay? fell in with the ghoulies pretty quickly as a teen attending southside high since he was already familiar with them. they welcomed him into The Squad and they quickly became the family he never had. aw. he’s incredibly loyal to the ghoulies but possible wc! he might’ve had a few serpent / future serpent friends who he left behind upon joining up with the ghoulies.

by then he was already good at breaking into cars, but the ghoulies taught him how to actually steal them and not to brag on him or anything, but these days he’s damn good at it & street racing too! 100% intending to brag on him now — irving here is a really good street racer and everyone knows it. if you’re driving against him then sorry but you’re probably gonna lose. that’s life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

isn’t a bad fighter either, but generally won’t be the ghoulie who’s starting shit. absolutely will back up his friends though, so...watch out for that

deals in the same drugs as all the other ghoulies and might indulge himself from time to time, mostly for recreational purposes. smokes way too many cigarettes and will light up indoors if he needs a fix. no fucks given.

NOW. TIME TO TALK ABOUT HIS SCAR. it’s located on the right side of his face and spans from forehead to cheek, cuts right through the delicate skin of his eyelid and even damages his actual eye rather severely. if you’re picturing anakin skywalker’s face scar in revenge of the sith then you’re right except irving’s is worse. he has about 40% vision left in his right eye ( probably...ofc he’s never actually had it looked at by a doctor ) which is both good and bad because obviously it’s a pretty blatant vulnerability, but most people tend to assume he’s completely blind in that eye and then they’re in for *seamus finnegan vc* a bit of a nasty shock. as for how he got the scar, it’s...not a v interesting story tbh. he was about 15 - 16, got into it with his mom’s latest boyfriend drunkard & all around garbage human being and the guy p much tried to carve his face off with a broken beer bottle. yikes

oh, about his mom. she’s dead now. overdosed to the surprise of absolutely no one. irving was eighteen at the time and actually was the one to find her on their living room couch. naturally he was Sad™ but in this house we absolutely do not properly express our emotions

and now we’re in the present. these days you’ll most likely irving hanging with the other ghoulies, boosting cars either for them or for cash, winning street races, possibly reading a book or two or fifty

this is already a novel but i have more so let’s do rapid fire fun facts!

most people’s first impression of him is probably that he’s aloof. doesn’t even talk much around other ghoulies, but won’t hesitate if he’s got something to say. something usually being a sarcastic remark.

been arrested plenty of times, in and out of juvie & jail his whole life.

acts like he doesn’t care about anyone but himself + like he has -4 morals but that’s such a LIE LMAO. catch him refusing to steal from anyone he knows to have less than him, being kind to animals, holding open the door for people, using common manners, bringing his favorite old librarian lady her beloved butterscotch candies and saying it’s because he’s just trying to avoid being fined for returning books late when it’s actually just because he loves that old lady and knows she loves those awful candies

about the library, btw. if he’s not hanging with the other ghoulies then he’s probably there, lowkey skulking around the shelves. his mom started taking him every once in a while as a kid, figuring that letting him check out a bunch of books would keep him occupied for a while and it did. he’s LOVED to read ever since & can often be found with his nose in a book. actually loves to talk about his favorite books, but rarely gets the chance. aw.

known for being a particularly vicious and resourceful fighter. good with knives and guns, but the main thing you’ve gotta watch out for with him is the fact that HE WILL FUCKING BITE YOU WTF. like. blood running down his chin & everything. horrifying, truly.

so like, lowkey soft for those he cares about but will attack if provoked

ANYWAY, i think we’re all tired of me by this point and that is completely valid so just message me if you wanna plot! i have nothing super specific in mind and want all the plots tbh. i’m super excited to write with you all!

[jaeminlore]

Pizza Boy!Vernon

a/n: for sunflower anon! hope you don’t mind that i made it bulleted!! also this is like my second time writing a bulleted scenario so pls have mercy on me i’m trying to expand my capabilities  

• okay but like does anyone remember that jonas brothers song • i fell in love with the pizza girl ,,, now i eat pizza every day,,, • BC that’s what i think it would be like if vernon was your pizza delivery boy • okay from the beginning •you’re a university student and exams have been destroying your happiness lately • you want to die basically • like you work so hard at your job and at studying that you NEVER get a break and it’s so,,, stifling,,, you just want to graduate and LEAVE •so when you finally get a day without exams where you can just chill, you order pizza • because why not?? • and since you’re ordering it online it has that lil box at the bottom that asks for special instructions • at first you were gonna write the classic “send ur cutest delivery boy” • but you didn’t really feel like fixing you hair and outfit to impress some pizza boy that probably wasn't even cute in the first place tBH • so you go with your second option: “pls tell me a quality pizza pun when u arrive. thx.” • most of the time those pizza places don’t even pay attention to the requests unless it’s like an allergy mention or smth so u don’t really expect anything • BUT BEHOLD • when someone knocks on your apartment door you get up and head over w ur money • you probably forgot that you even requested a pun lol • you open your door to see a really cute delivery boy with a smile on his face

• “Why was the pizza shop not doing well?”

• u pause bc first of all what the heck • then you remember your request and you excitedly ask him why • so the boy just sort of gives you this dorky, satisfied grin and answers • “They just weren’t rolling in the dough.” • cue crickets • bc like it was a good joke but it wasn’t /that/ good • suddenly he’s embarrassed and red and he’s like “rlly let me try again i have better puns i prOmiSe!!!” • since you’re feeling nice you let him try again • “okay okay what did the angry customer give the pizzeria owner?” • “wut” • “a pizza his mind.” • “that one was worst than the first one tbh” • “NO WAY my puns are good” • “mediocre at best” • and the pizza delivery dude is not expecting a tip at this point bc you’re so freaking brutal abt his jokes that he searched the internet for on such short notice • “pls im a college student w debt just have mercy on me” • and now you’re actually giggling a bit bc did he think you weren’t gonna pay him??? like some kind of hooligan??? • please,,, you have class • so you like hand over the money w his tip like “what’s ur name pizza boy” • “it’s vernon” • “makes sense. u look like a vernon” • “is that an insult?” • so he leaves and you’re happy bc of your pizza but also you’re kinda sad bc,,, dang,,, the pizza boy was cute and you didn’t even get his number,,, • gUeSs yOuLL hAVe tO bUY mOrE pizZAs!!!1!11!1 • so that’s what you do and you don’t rlly know what to put under the special request to make sure you get vernon so • you just kinda • “send the boy with horrible puns pls” • and everyone once again knows this is vernon bc no one tells horrible puns like he can • so he’s back and you take more time to study his face bc he’s handsome obv  • like just imagine his black hair tucked under a red pizza cap,, and his eyes are really dark in contrast to his boyish smile like wow. a visual. • “who did your eyebrows?” • “uh,,, myself? wait what does that mean??? what do they do to your eyebrows?” • so you explain eyebrow beauty to him • where is this going destinee pick it up  • and during this time he’s actually pretty fascinated but then gAsP he forgot to open with his pun!!!!! • “What’s the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?” • “…” • “my pizza jokes can’t be topped!” •“pretty sure they can be topped” • “next time i’m going to conveniently forget your garlic sauce” • “who said i was going to call you again, delivery boy??” • hE cAnT wIN • lowkey thinks you’re cute so he puts up with ur incessant teasing • “what’s ur name anyway?” • “y/n” • “well, y/n, since we’re friends now do you wanna listen to my mixtape” • VERNON WOULD DO THIS YOU GUYS KNOW • he's already pullin out a blank cd with some horrible handwriting on it • nd you accept it but like,,,, what are you supposed to do??? • thank him??,??,,? • anyway vernon leaves bc he is on the job and has to deliver other pizzas before they get cold ya know • so,, since you’re bored,,, you listen to the mixtape while you eat ur pizza • and like some of the songs are lowkey cringe but some of them are highkey good • now what do you do • tell the pizza guy you like his rap?? • is that too far?? like he said you guys were friends but,,,,, • the next time he comes you tell him that you rlly liked his mixtape and behold!!! • lil vernon is blushing!!! bc you’re one of the first people to compliment him on his songs and it makes him super happy and mushy inside like what a dweeb • TIME SKIP • you and vernon keep this delivery boy/customer friendship or whatever up bc it’s fun and you guys kinda sort of think each other are cute •like ObViOuSlY bc vernon is a d o r a b l e •and you’re practically an ANGEL • *20 starts playing* • anyway yeah one day you’re craving pizza again so you make your order • and when it asks for any special instructions • you type in • “send the cute pun boy” • as a joke but gET THIS • YOU ACCIDENTALLY PRESS SEND BEFORE YOU CAN DELETE IT • so like while you wait for vernon to arrive u r freaking out and sWeAtiNG bc vErNoN cAnT kNoW yoU liKe hiM !!!1!1 • that’s weird !!!!! • your doorbell rings and you’re shaking as you open the door bc you’re sure you’ve just ruined ur friendship w him • but like when you open the vernon is just,,, leaning against the doorframe,,, w a smirk on his lips and red ears to match his cap,,,, • “you…called…me…cute…” • nd suddenly he’s getting closer to you and his smile is widening like where did he get this confidence from??? • skkahdhs and just when you think he’s going to kiss you he whispers • “d’you wanna hear another pun?” • LIKE WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT VERNON • but you gotta keep ur composure right so you reluctantly nod like yeah vernon!!! listening to your stupid puns is how i want to spend my time!!! definitely not kissing you!!! that’s for sure!! • but this meme: • “How do you know if you’re in love?” • nd you stutter out a lil “what” bc is this just a joke or is he on to smth • and he kinda smiles shyly and opens his pizza box • “if they steal a pizza your heart!” • you look down and the freakin pizza is shaped like a heart and has “will u go out w me?” written in pepperonis • and it’s so cheesy • hehe get it? • that you can’t help but laugh like “ofc i’ll go out w you dork” • and you invite him in to share the pizza • luckily you’re his last stop for the night so the two of you can stay up all night talking and laughing and sharing puns over pizza • goals tbh

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[mirrerover]

i'been thinkin abuot domestic taeekook a lot lately. like everyone is always about domestic hyung line but i think domestic taekook could be super cute. just wondering what u thought. sry for bothering you omg just ignore me.

It’s only six when Jeongguk stumbles through the front door but it feels like eight, maybe even nine in the evening. The time dilation effects of winter: snowy commutes, shorter days, grating conversations with college advisors as his exam results trickle in. It’s throbbing at the back of Jeongguk’s head, the greyness of the season trying to sink under his skin.

It makes him slow and stupid, shoes adding more scuff marks to the wall as he kicks them off without grace. Doesn’t matter. Taehyung doesn’t care about clean walls either.

They’re similar that way, Jeongguk and Taehyung. A little thoughtless and a lot of messy. Like Taehyung’s crap strewn all over their tiny kitchentable, piles of papers and stickers and multi-coloured pens. Taehyung isn’t a child of winter either.

“How’re the tests going?” Jeongguk asks, shuffling his way to the couch. An ugly old thing with stains and burn marks and permanent indentations in the shape of their asses.  

“Going.” Debatable, Jeongguk thinks, since Taehyung’s in the corner of their ugly couch and his stuff is on their cramped kitchen table. He’s in sweats and a hoody, sock-clad feet on the crate doubling as a coffee table, and eyes on the TV hooked up to their game console. A first-person-shooter but the way he’s killing people is lacklustre at best. “Still can’t believe they’re making me grade four-year-olds, man. ‘S just wild.”

“Hmm,” Jeongguk murmurs, dropping down onto the couch beside him. “‘S crazy.”

“Half of them are gonna cry again. Still in the single digits and already heading for a burnout.”

“That’s messed up.” Jeongguk shifts minutely, ass settling into its personal dent, until Taehyung’s body is a comfortable warm line against his side. “The little humans got it rough. I feel their plight.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says. He turns without looking, placing a kiss on the side of Jeongguk’s head that lands more on his eyebrow than his temple. “Super rough.” He has set his character up on a rooftop somewhere, picking off enemy soldiers as they wander by, not advancing the game. Mindless and stupid. Jeongguk’s tempted to join him.

“Order in?” Taehyung asks after Jeongguk watched the fifth body drop, head slumped to the side on Taehyung’s shoulder.

“What about that stuff your mum sent over?”

“Nah. Ate it for lunch.”

“Oh,” Jeongguk says, digging his nose into Taehyung’s hoody. He smells like laundry detergent and strawberry shampoo. “The Thai food?”

Taehyung grimaces. “Threw it out. Looked alive or something. We should, like, clean out our fridge sometimes.”

“Probably,” Jeongguk concedes. He turns his head to glance over the back of the couch. There a lot of gaudy magnets on the fridge, most of them Taehyung’s and some of them holding up pictures. The centre image is of them in a chapel with Elvis. Jeongguk can’t really remember what happened. He was beyond drunk so that’s his excuse, but alcohol isn’t Taehyung’s drug of choice and they try not to indulge in that abroad. Maybe it was just Elvis and Taehyung’s desire for a good laugh.

They didn’t get it annulled. Because of love and all that other mushy shit, Jeongguk supposes.

Next to the fridge is a sink full of dirty dishes. Jeongguk cooks in the weekends when they got the time. Mainly breakfast. It’s Thursday now.

“Jesus,” Jeongguk sighs, spotting five socks on the floor and an unpacked box in the corner from three months ago. “We’re such losers.”

Taehyung huffs. “Fuck off. Got a job and everything.”

Jeongguk sighs again. Taehyung’s in his first year of teaching while he’s still collecting half-finished art majors like it’s a hobby. Excelling at all the artistry and incapable of memorizing any of the theory. Tests fuck him over every time.

“We had to ask Namjoon to do our taxes last year,” Jeongguk says. He rearranges himself so that his head is on Taehyung’s lap and his legs are dangling off the other side of the couch. “Couldn’t even ask our parents.”

Taehyung bites his lip and tilts his head in contemplation, letting the bullshit simmer till it’s at optimal consistency. “Just didn’t wanna rub their face into the obvious faults and shortcomings of their parenting. Seemed rude, 's all.”

Jeongguk snorts. “Right.”

“The dude gets off on numbers. And who knows how to do taxes anyway?” Taehyung’s completely given up on the game now, flicking through his weapon inventory and decking out his character in various armours. Jeongguk doesn’t think purple makes for great camouflage. “Bet Jimin doesn’t do his own taxes.”

“Jimin sucks Joon’s dick on the regular. If he ain’t doing his taxes that’s grounds for divorce.”

“They're not married.”

“Whatever. Y’know what I mean. Probably manages to turn half of the clothes Jimin buys into a deductible.”

“That’s hot.”

“Way hot,” Jeongguk agrees, scrolling through his phone, trying to decide on dinner. Nothing too spicy and no seafood. Taehyung’s palate is as developed as those of the kids he’s teaching.

“Are you getting food from that place?” Taehyung asks. “’Cause then I want that non-fishy fish stuff. The fish fingers without fish.” Jeongguk hums but maybe not loud enough. “Y’know,” Taehyung continues, “those orange—”

“Yeah, dude. I know,” Jeongguk says, patting Taehyung’s stomach with his free hand to shut him up. “Chill. I’m getting you your deep-fried non-fish meat sticks with questionable protein heritage.”

Taehyung relaxes back into the couch. “Cool.”

“Cool,” Jeongguk echoes, finishing up the order.

He turns to his side, facing away from the TV. It’s not all bad, Jeongguk thinks, being married. He’s had a shitty day, Taehyung’s had a shitty day, and now they’re sitting here in their somewhat shitty apartment with Taehyung playing a shitty game. But Taehyung’s ratty hoody is soft and warm. Grey but not winter grey.

“We gotta watch some Netflix,” Taehyung says, ditching the console and switching to a remote. “There’s five-hundred things in our queue.” He brushes the long fingers of one hand through Jeongguk’s hair. His pierced ears are usually next. “What ya wanna watch? ‘Blood and gore’ or ‘sex, blood and gore’?” Jeongguk watches the light of the TV screen flicker across Taehyung’s features as he jumps through their queue, his eyebrows pinched. “Anime?”

“Love you.”

Taehyung’s face goes soft, eyes losing their dull shine and the corners of his lips twitching. “That’s a bit gay, Guk.”

“Fuck off.”

“Hmm,” Taehyung hums and he’s grinning. A sharp little thing full of amusement. “Was gonna go with Narcos but since you’re being such a soft bitch maybe we should watch Totoro instead.”

“Jesus,” Jeongguk groans, rolling over to his other side with flushed cheeks. “You’re such an ass. Just tell me you love me.”

Taehyung chuckles, thumb brushing along the ridge of Jeongguk’s ear like predicted. “Love you tons.”

[thommydarguin]

SB The Chocolate Drop

I will never pretend to know or act like I fully understand anxiety/depression however, running from your problems and absolving yourself of any real blame solves nothing Considering all the little beefs we have had, I look back at all of your failed relationships that you’ve told me about and I see them differently. Not to say they didn’t do anything wrong, probably majorly wrong.. but I’ve spent over a year watching you misread situations and coming to completely irrational conclusions, and feeling content that the world is against you. I feel as though you’re looking for so many things to fill in for the various holes in your life. I believe finding peace within yourself and learning to accept, change for the better and grow are essential I find it hard to just expect some person to swing in and cure you of it all. You’re riddled with insecurities and bottled feelings, neither which is inherently bad, but at certain levels, can be poisonous to you and others I recall the first time you really opened up about your D/A(depression and anxiety) and I felt so happy that you felt so comfortable enough to speak on it and I just wanted to be there for and whatever capacity I could handle. I wanted to be your calming Your peace Your happy place Trust Love Zen Your inhale Your exhale But I couldn’t At a time of sickness, you prioritized all but my general heath and saw no wrong in that and couldn’t even apologize or rather didn’t deem it worthy of an apology because to you, I did you wrong by being sick and missing a date. A date you were attending with other people and through it all, I deserved to be cut off. You blamed your D/A... You claimed to have cut everyone off 5 months..... 5 months for you to finally speak to me, and within that attempt I was asleep and upon responding, I was met with hostility and had to play nice and apologetic to get you to a decent demeanor. Which is a typical SB tactic of always bending situations to cater to you... and there are more to come, #staytuned So with communications finally open, I try several times to have a conversation with you to address what actually happened and what transgressed through these 5 months You avoid and evade with excuses rooted in your D/A Your anxiety is so suffocating that I even developed some form of it when interacting with you. Even so... I’m DYING to have you back.. You insist on getting brunch for our long waited conversation Now.... for this conversation to be all about misunderstanding and potential real beef... we shouldn’t be trying to have a fun date surrounded by white people drinking mimosas and bloody Mary’s ... At best, coffee or tea(not for me cuz I’ll throw up, remember this for later) Moving forward, we meet at the restaurant outside waiting to be seated... and you proceed to jump right in to coy small talk and catch up like besties who’ve been away for a bit with NO BEEF.... I’m not here to rock the boat and be unfriendly however I do believe it is imperative to get right to it being firm, direct and truthful. I fucked up and let her get us right back into the swing of things.. We order and get our food by that time I got fed up with her clearly avoiding the elephant in the room so with no Segway... I bring it up... But I’m already happy I get to see her beautiful smile that brightens my day Her piercing eyes that are so intense it damn near forces you into submission of shyness Cheekbones strong as Janet Jackson at her prime Skin just simply radiant (though she doesn’t agree) And of course a body hot enough to grill 4 grilled cheese sandwiches So ultimately... I fold And I don’t bring up my many grievances that I’ve been thinking about for 5 long months... Imma summarize the rest of the day but ugh .... We finished eating and went back to the house. Roommate knew she was coming so he locked his door in advance since she’s a habitual space invader. It’s been sometime since she’s last seen all of us so we’re in a new house so I begin to give her the tour. First floor Basement Back patio At this point I didn’t know if in fact roommate was home so we knock and he says he’s showering, he’ll be out in a little. She then try’s the door knob... It’s locked Then she tries to convince roommate to let her in which he ignores cuz duh... she continues .... I ask her clear and direct.. “please do NOT go in my room, just give me 10 minutes to take care of some things and then I’ll show you” I walk downstairs leaving her at roommates door and before I reach the kitchen, she’s telling me about my en suite.... I’m beyond pissed at how casually she dismissed and disrespected me. But I try to address it without blowing up... she dismisses it again I go downstairs and start playing music She shows up and as soon as I’m playing a song she doesn’t know or like... I hear “I don’t like this song” or “I don’t know this song” Aka turn off what you intentionally played that you clearly like and play what I wanna hear because it’s all about me. She does this very often but never in big groups It’s ALWAYS deplorable I also always let her dj so she can feel comfortable and know that I care that she is at ease. She has NEVER done that for me NEVER AND SHE USUALLY SKIPS MY SONGS MIDSONG... SHES THAT DISRESPECTFUL anyway.. I end up giving her my phone to play music because I’ve learned through her brainwashing, it’s best for all to give her what she wants than face her complaining. I had to teach her song sharing etiquette which she was extremely resistant to learning but after a slew of “pleases and thanks yous” she kinda learned but later still disregarded so roommate eventually took over with his phone cuz she’s inconsiderate. We then picked up an old friend mainly to annoy her but he really helped balance the group because that’s one more person to help her realize how she feels rarely takes into consideration anyone but herself. We then listened to music and drank till it was time to go to a bday celebration. When we got to the house party.. she laid eyes on the most handsome ginger in the city and instantly fell for him. By the time we got to the bars... she was all over him.... and EVERY single guy that made a pass at her... which is not a problem or issue but ginger liked her up until he realized she was giving everybody attention so he lost interest and moved on. Meanwhile I was being attacked by 5 random housewives... We finally leave that bar and see ginger hopping in an uber with 4 women happily. SB... not so happy and somehow confused at why ginger went and found other people who actually showed him interest. We hop to 2 more bars and by then, I’m spent and it stinks at the bar we’re at so I tell the crew individually that I’m out and catching an Uber The moment I smell fresh air I’m like... you know what? It’s a beautiful night tonight.. imma walk. 6 blocks later SB is tracking me down ready to go to We meet and she claims she’s pretty drunk and needs to pee.. I dunno why anyone would leave the establishment with a latrine without using it first then have the audacity to complain about it but whatever... She then flops on some stairs dragging on about her intoxication.... but never pulls out her phone to order her blood clot uber so now I gotta Buy it after already making peace with walking home and being happy I was saving money I didn’t need to spend Side note: I paid for brunch and said she could get me drinks tonight but didn’t end up drinking because niggas like her need to be babysat and it was a whack night and I don’t force fun with drinking...it’s a bad move.. So I order the uber.. we get home and she gets out stumbling.... I start leading her to the house and she starts repeating “I’m gonna throw up” over and over ... I ask her, do u need to go now or can you make it to the bathroom?? “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... I said..” I get that so if u need to puke now... cool.. we outside.. I’ll hose it down later.. otherwise if u can make it to the bathroom.. let’s go in” “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... That’s when flames came out my ears.... I said f it... and took her in and led her to my bathroom.. and closed the door to give her privacy.. she was in there for a bit so I changed and needed to go make pee so I went to roommates room and when I returned... she’s in my bed My bed rules have changed since she last saw me but because of me being a bitch... I was too scared to bring up my new rules... which is... NO ONE sleeps in my bed unless family or fuckin With the exception of L’s I’m willing to take which this constitutes...kinda... I’ll explain that in a sec So she’s in my bed... cool... then starts up her mantra again “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up, I need a bucket”... I said “ no, you need to go to the bathroom.. “ but in classic SB fashion.. she dismisses me and keeps on with the bucket talk so like a bitch.. I get it and a bottle of water.. THEN finally relieved of duty I start to leave and she freaks out!! “Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “I’m right here” I said Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “YOU CAN HEAR ME, AND IF YOU OPENED YOUR EYES YOU’D SEE ME, IM RIGHT HERE!!!”I replied “I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” I had to walk my candy ass over to her and hold her hand while standing until she fell asleep.. and EVERYTIME I let go... I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” SO I, A GROWN ASS MAN... had to sleep on the rass clot bumma clot floor in my own home... in my own room.... Now you may be thinking to yourself... are you that obsessed with your rule that you won’t sleep next to her in your own bed? NO... but I ain’t dumb enough to willingly dive into the splash-zone next to ol pukey over here.... So a nigga slept on the floor... Hours later I did get on the bed in a corner but even that was whack so I said f it and went downstairs... Later on in the day I’m still unhappy with her performance from last night, so wherever she went.. I left... so now I’m in my room watching Planet Earth 2(super dope if u ain’t seent it) And she shows up while kickin it with my homie and just hops in bed with me interrupting our conversation.. Then proceeds to invite me to VIRGINIA to go get tea Now I simply didn’t wanna go anywhere that day, but I damn sure didn’t wanna go to another state and even more so wouldn’t wanna go for the one thing that makes me throw up... a known fact by all who consider themselves close to ya boy... So I sassily call her out on not really caring and being inconsiderate and she throws a fit, calls me an asshole and turns away.. Now at this juncture.. anyone being upset at my approach... that is warranted.. but☝️ when I asked if it is true she evades the question like a hotboxed fart in a car that smells like Chinese food. Then leaves to roommates room looking for validation... in which she got NONE!!! Now he told her ass he didn’t want no women in his bed at the start of the day and she tried to get nestled in real quick but roommate peeped game but since he knows how bad she is at not getting what she wants.. he just got up and started doing shit until she was too uncomfortable to stay and came back to my room... Meanwhile... I’m MAAAAAAAAADDDdddd comfortable now watching these goats doing parkour on the side of a mountain and she comes right back in and jumps in bed.... Then starts making whack commentary... to which receives one word(shut the hell up) responses.... Eventually she says too much and I go downstairs... Once I hear it’s over.. I come back to my room and praise Moses!!!! She’s getting herself together... I hop in bed and start the next episode of Planet earth... “I’m gonna go home now” “Okay” I replied Mind you.. that probably the first or one of the first times I didn’t walk her to her car and hug her goodbye Now she’s done other things worthy of being cut the F off But all I did was get sick.... So when I start texting her to actually bring up all the stuff I bitched out of from brunch and the weekend, I’m just tryna schedule a phone call or ft( that’s FaceTime for you poor android users) she once again bullies me into having this conversation through text even though I prepared it to work through speech by bringing up her D/A.... so against my better judgment.. I text her the whole thing and long story short(for this part at least)... She said I demonized her character... She’s literally saying SHE did messed up things to me... which hurt me... and in my attempt to explain to her what she did, what it felt like and how it made me feel... she’s the victim to me slandering her name and no friend would ever do that... Forget everything that she did to me... the problem lies within how I described how she made me feel to her.... I tell you people I can’t make this up She told me to F-off and all... But didn’t delete me from and any social media... wouldn’t even block me on her phone... I’m starting to believe she KNOWS she’s wrong but the breakthrough to follow is too much because she’ll prolly have to face how she’s likely done this to so many other people... ones she has actually demonized and pushed away while claiming they did yadada yadada yadada.... What I hate about this is that i still wanna be there for her If the day comes when she decides to recognize what she did and what she’s doing, I don’t want her to have to face that alone unless that’s what she wants. I love this woman And I wanna see her do great things but she has some walls up that are really hurting herself and others Anyway Rant over

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #5: "my wig is scalped. i am ascending, friends." - Jake

Just realised I forgot to confess about my winner pick yet. I have predicted correctly both the the times I have done this. Looks like this is the only thing I am good at in ORG's so why not keep the trend going. With that said, my winner pick for this season is Zac...wait nooo. I said I am done with playing nice. Gotta give myself a chance , so my winner pick is Karthik. GG

Okay so the swap continues to be great! Basically my relationship with Zach has improved a lot so hopefully he is down to work with me! And it would depend on what he wants if they wanna eliminate Jake or not, I personally don’t care lmao but I think that maybe keeping Jake might help me to have options with the original Kato aswell (who Idc about but as I said I can’t close that door) but anyways I really don’t wanna have to decide yet so I wanna win this challenge more than anything right now.

We going full crackhead

not much has changed. we are immune again, and so i'm final 12 (which is the common # for merge, but i anticipate otherwise this game). it's exciting because my main goal right now, bar winning/jury, is just single digits, and i think that's achievable.

on my current tribe, i think i trust karthik the most. i speak to him daily & we have fun conversations, and he likes to mock me which is really fun for me. tim i trust but we have been lacking conversation (though i believe that's due to inactivity opposed to us being weird). i already went through miguel & jake in my last confessional so i'm not going to regurgitate that. i love all 4 of these men so much.

i can't help but think i'm majorly fucking up with my physical side. i really carried in the puzzle immunity, which was a public immunity. this means that other tribes are going to notice me. on top of that, i was in a majority like i deadass could've lost and have been fine (afaik). i sent ally/liam to tribal in the minority (luckily they thrived) & i sent another og-takagi majority to tribal and i lost one. odd, but whatever. i'm just paranoid i think because my biggest thing is skewering others perceptions of me and i think i'm making it much harder by performing exceptional in most challenges.

i'm thriving tho. i lost my trail of thought but... king. love u all. i am talking to a friend about driving n life but there was something i wanted to fucking talk about im STRESESDDDDDD. idk. yeehaw.

oh i remembered - the exile decision. though this wasn't for the complete round, it was so stupid for tim to suggest 'jess' and 'stephen' or something. like???? sister???? either send alyssa so she lacks connection & they boot her or send someone else. idk. it made no sense to weaken the social game of one of our own, but maybe he's playing it odd. regardless, miguel and i spoke in pms about it and we were on the same page (and i made a mistake of saying ''hope they vote alyssa out'' or something similar, which isn't ever my game (to elaborate: i never directly say anything but rather insinuate because im ditzy n dmubb :p)). it was just annoying like maybe i'm overthinking it but ... bye.

im getting like 7th-10th i know it.

I’m ecstatic right now, my tribe won immunity and I have officially broken my Survivor ORG record. It’s also looking like an og Takagi is goi g home tonight which helps as going into merge I want as many og kato as possible. I’m a little wary of Stephen at this point but that’s the game of Survivor. Stephen is a strong player and while I like working with him, I think he needs to be voted out down the road because he is definitely a strong strategic player like me, maybe a stronger one. Right now I need to focus on getting back into the game as I definitely was limited for the past few challenges. It showed in this challenge as I helped my tribe win the challenge. The merge is coming soon and I’m hoping to make the merge and continue showing a new side of myself, like David did in Milennials vs Gen X. Doing this helped David excel in his game and it’s helping me excel in my season of Survivor. I’m pushing myself to see just how far I can go and see if maybe I can win this competition.

So glad we won, tribals are dumb. Would’ve liked to vote out Liam though. Still, can’t wait to be the only Stephen left in the game, Stephen Prime, Stephen Supreme.

It just feels like a repeat of my previous ORG where I make the merge without ever going to tribal council and get voted out soon after. I am not so sure if this is a good thing for me. Its getting a bit boring. I want to play the game, be part of strategy talks, organize a blindside. get blindsided etc etc. These are the fun parts of the game imo and I feel these are about to happen as I am expecting the merge soon.  Hope I do not flop like my last game and last for a longer while this time around. Zach seems to like Miguel and Miguel has been feeding a lot of info to Zach. Probably they know each other from the past or something but either way they appear to be close. Zach had been planting seeds in my mind, saying more than once that Miguel seems to be cool and loyal whereas Jake is sketchy. I personally seem to connect better with Jake and feel like he is a better person to work with for me personally. He is a strong competitor and even if he doesnt happen to be the loyal kind of player, he is more of a threat and its likely that he would be targeted later in the game which are the kind of players I need around whereas I find Miguel to be a less threatening player who could slip under the radar and steal your spot at the end. I believe there would have been a push for Jake to go if we had lost but glad that didn't happen coz I do not wish to create any waves yet and cannot afford to go against King Zach's words. Fun fact - Zach has added me in 4 alliances within the past 2 days but none of those are with people in the game :)

Daniel leaving at the last vote has been a big blow to my game, but it wasn't the worst-case scenario. With me and Jess still in I still have my most trusted ally on the tribe. I questioned Alyssa about having the idol since apparently I do that to all of my allies now, but she said she didn't have it. She brought up the possibility that there was only one Hallway idol available for everyone, and while I'm not sure I totally believe that explanation she did admit that she has reached 100.

We came up with a plan last night, where she convinces Isaac that the plan is to flip me and vote Jess out. Assuming Alyssa is loyal to the plan and Isaac buys it, I shouldn't be getting any votes tonight. I'll tell Jess everything when she gets back and hopefully this vote will be 3-1. But even if Alyssa is lying to me, there's a chance Jess might find something in the basement. And if she does, well.... I'll be trying to use it to "both" of our benefits ;)

So woahhhh that double tribal huh!! I did not see either vote out happening. TJ went out on a unanimous vote and Ratboi played an idol into a split vote!!! I wonder what TJ did or failed to do in order to get voted out. Did his enemies end up on the tribe with him? And what about Ratboi. When did he get an idol? Was this from Kato or the basement?? Who split the vote in the first place? I have many questions and not too many answers as of now.

Ok so here is what I concluded so far. TJ, Jake, Alyssa, and Stephen W (The Australian) are one side of the old Kato and the other side was Miguel, Fredrico, Isaac, and Luke.

TJ ended up with Luke in the swap but Stephen W on his side so I am confusion??? Ally and Liam were there as well so idk.

So we win the challenge and I am PUMPED. Our tribe managed to work together and draft some potential questions as well as help one another out during the challenge. I managed to get a score of 7 which is dope!! Oh and our tribe also finished in first place meaning we got to send someone from the losing tribe into the basement.

The losing tribe was Atila 2.0 which consisted of Jess, Alyssa, Isaac, and Stephen Z. Now I initially thought the person going into the basement was immune so I suggested Alyssa because I know that she is aligned with Jake and I wanted to try and work with them at merge potentially. However, once I discovered that the basementee would return I switched up and supported Jake in wanting to send Jess. This was great for me because Jess is my ally and I didnt immediately suggest her so that sheds some weight off my shoulders. But umm I was also kinda rude and I stiff armed Miguel from trying to send Isaac back there. I know that they are aligned so I could not allow that to happen. I made the decision for the tribe and @'d Anna to let her know that the tribe (Aka me....) had decided on Jess. Now this could hurt my game because this could make me seem like I am hard to work with or not willing to compromise but only Miguel would think so and he's one of my targets so lol.

Hopefully at Attila's tribal Isaac goes home and the merge happens so I can slay it.

What isn't going on? That is the real question...

Let's take it back to BEFORE Daniel's departure.

Prior to the vote ( literally 20 minutes before) I went on call with Alyssa and I can't tell if I'm just sipping Paranoid Bitch Juice™ or not.... BUT the first thing she asks me is if I have the idol. I was thrown off because.. 1) Why are you asking me this BEFORE A VOTE...AM I BEING VOTED OFF?. 2) Why do you have a SMILE on your face while asking me this. Anyways.. I've come to the conclusion that she may have an idol and isn't telling me because I want to kill her in this game. The purpose of this call was to warn her that I was actually voting out Isaac so she wouldn't be blindsided. I was trying to sugar coat it. Telling her I was conflicted and that Isaac may or may not have an idol but then the Google Hangouts link was sent and I didn't have enough time to tell her. After this Chaos and Daniel going I was hella shook. Alyssa seemed pissed at me and at that point I had no regrets. An idol was flushed and someone who would potentially come after me was gone. It was a major win/win situation for me personally. Then TJ going on the other tribe.. someone who potentially would have came for me... also: another freaking win.

THEN my night gets turned upside down and I'm summoned to the basement. I can't tell if the other tribe sent me there so I could find something and they LOVE ME or because they wanted to MURDER me in this game. It's still up in the air tbh. Being away from my tribe for a long period of time was scary. I'm kind of just hoping my relationship with both Stephen and Alyssa are solid and we can bo$$ this game up. However, am I afraid of Isaac possibly finding two idols in the basement? yes? do I want to be a paranoid bitch once again in a game? no? am I dying on the inside and thinking it could be me tonight? yes? am I going to drink wine before tribal? basically.

My game plan is simple. I'm going to be straight up with Alyssa and say I'm NOT doing Stephen. She either will vote out Stephen and we tie and we can go to rocks. 50/50 odds. Or she can keep Stephen. That's it. If an idol is played and I'm who they vote out.. I'll probably cry.

I refuse to even look ahead to after this tribal because I'm sort of extremely uncertain.

Fuck this week, man. I'm so glad that Ally and I went from a minority to a tie at the best, but I'm just not super confident in much right now. Hopefully we just keep winning.

hi i literally don’t have anything to say because nothing has changed since last round

i’m rly glad tj left i liked him but i liked everyone else more... and he VOTED me i’m glad daniel left in the tie on the other tribe cos we never spoke and i’m close to stephen z it’ll be interesting to see how their tribal goes this time with 2-2 tribal lines. i’m excited. i love jess and stephen so i’m rly hoping nothing happens to them that’s p much it. i got nothin. sry.

Sisters this might be the end of the road for me. I hope it’s not because I’m having a blast but this 2-2 fuckshit is annoying. If I go I have a successful idol play to my name and a few iconic one liners, see y’all in All-Stars. Rotten Luck.

Isaac is voted out in a 3-1 vote.