#but for me at least like. i never saw reason to doubt their relationships with women and like

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

@zepskies

Aww thank you sweetie! 🥰

It does make sense, poor thing. 😭 She's so unwilling to believe he could love her the way she wants/needs, while he's hesitating to allow himself to do it. And I'm thinking he's fighting off some self-doubt/self-worth issues as well?

Yes! I think that both of them are having some "self-doubt/self-worth issues." I think that deep down Ben is having those issues especially after she told him that he's not really a relationship guy and after he saw how she was "considering" Jake. Ben would never admit feeling inferior to someone else, but I think that he really does feel a little bit intimidated by Jake in some ways. I think Ben sees how Jake is in essence what the reader "wants" and Ben doesn't know how to be that. And I also think that's why Ben's been buying her coffee and walks with her to work.

LMAO factssss. Who could say no to that adorably confused grandpa face?

No one should look that cute while being confused. It should be illegal lol.

Ooooh yesssss. 😏 And totally agree with you there! It's too bittersweet for me when you know one of them is going to die someday and the other keeps living on, carrying the weight of their memory. It's why I had to come up with that twist in BMD loll. Thank you for noting on that! It took some head scratching and BS science (and some inspo from my love of Smallville), but I think the reasoning was convincing enough on how the reader in BMD "caught up" with his longevity of life. 😂 I also love the idea of the plants giving her healing abilities and prolonging her life through that cell regeneration. 💚💚

I think it's the hopeless romantic in me that can't take the idea of one person "carrying on the weight of their memory." And I know you can sympathize, also being a hopeless romantic 🥰 One of the best parts of being a writer is coming up with the BS science LOL. And oh I thought it made complete sense in BMD! It was completely something that I never saw coming!!

I'm losing it over the gif. I LOVE "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

Oh Ben, he'll get there. He just needs some actual love in his life, and someone stubborn enough to not only put up with his shit, but like you said, "take a chance" on him. 😉

Exactly lol. He needs someone to show him what love really looks like.

It's always my pleasure to read your stories, hun! Giving the feedback is the least I can do. 💕

Aww my sweet friend thank you so much! Hearing your feedback always means the world to me. ❤️

Chapter 14: Don't Be A Bundt Cake

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy, Miscommunication Trope

Word Count: 13.1K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Talks of Death, DENIAL, Idiots in Love, Pining by the Reader (and SB, but he won't admit it) Depressing Thoughts, Mentions of sexual assault/rape (not detailed at all, really just in passing) Talks about weed, Sexist comments, Ben makes derogatory comments, Threatening Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: I am so sorry this one took me a bit longer. The writers block was fighting me the whole way, but we are very closely nearing the end of this series and the moment the reader and Ben stop being so stinkin' stubborn.

Reader POV

You lean your forehead against the cool window, watching the world flash by in a flurry of color. The wooded forests had vanished hours ago and all that was left were the yellowed sprawling fields of corn and grain and family farms that were laid sporadically along the interstate. Each one a little world that caught the flecks of golden sunlight as the sun began to peak above the horizon.

The bus rolled smooth and steady over the weathered pavement towards it's destination and was filled with an odd assortment of people young and old. There was man with a brightly colored parrot that had been singing "It's A Small World After All" since you left NYC, a woman with a little boy playing with an iPad and who refused to turn down the volume no matter how many times his mother asked him to, a group of teenagers a few seats up that continued to pass around a flask, and due to how far back you were sitting on the bus an uncomfortable smell emanated from the bathroom each time the door was opened.

But you didn't notice any of it.

The only thing on your mind were the events that happened almost twenty hours ago. They continued to circle your mind, playing over and over again like a perverted cassette tape making you sink further into the worn cloth covered seat at the back of the bus. The images were haunting, some new and some old, but all the more still horrible to re-live.

The song "Nights In White Satin" floating into the backseat of your family's car, the flash of unnatural light you knew was never lightning, the caskets at your parent's funeral covered in flowers that were much to pretty to lay on something so morbid, Elijah's body succumbing to the poppies that ripped him apart, the proud sneer on your brother's face when he admitted to killing your parents, Darren's broken and bloodied body strewn in pieces over the street with the creature standing over him with a dripping red maw, the ruined building that housed "Please Don't Die" reduced to nothing more than rubble, and the look on Ben's face when you turned your back on him and fled the scene.

For some reason that particular image seemed to cling on to you and refused to fade. You'd never seen him look that way, almost… helpless and a little fearful. In all the time you'd known him, Ben had never looked at you that way. Sure you'd seen him proud, angry, cocky, lustful, mischievous, but never fearful. And you were sure that it wasn't an emotion that he was used to feeling, but that begged the question… why?

Why was he looking at me like that? Why wouldn't he let me go? And what was he afraid of?

The creature curled in your lap snorts something in it's sleep, turning it’s head further into the cradle of your elbow to shut out the brilliant early morning sunlight. It was now the size of a toaster and had warranted several odd looks whenever you got off to change buses, but you didn't care.

You weren't sure about anything anymore. Everything your brother confessed to you made you feel like you were living a lie and the revelation of exactly what your powers could do- take life from plants to heal yourself, create whatever the hell it was on your lap, and speak to plants… it scared you.

You thought for so long that you knew everything about your powers, that you were in control, but now you weren't sure.

You felt different, as if something had unlocked deep down that you couldn't shut up again.

You'd felt different after you killed Elijah, but this was more alive, weaving and twisting in the pit of your stomach. You felt more connected to the earth, to the world outside the bus even though you were divided by glass and metal. You could feel the energy that thrummed through the body of the creature on your lap, bending to your will, the life force of the plants it was formed from molding with you, becoming a part of you.

You felt so different than the person you had been before Darren entered the shop, so uncertain, and there was only one place you wanted to be when you felt like this… home. You couldn't wait to run up the worn front steps of your grandmother's house and into her arms. She always knew what to say in times like this.

And you desperately needed the comfort of her embrace.

The phone in your pocket buzzes again and you flip the screen to see the ridiculous selfie Annie and you had taken on Halloween last year. The one that you'd both spent dressed up as the two brothers from your favorite paranormal tv show. It wasn't the first time she'd called. Annie had called and texted you more times than you could count over the past twenty hours but you didn't answer her. You didn’t want to.

It was the first time that you didn't want to talk to her, but talking to her meant that you'd have to re-live all of it again and you were clawing at the last shred of sanity you had left to keep it together.

The overwhelming waves of emotion kept pummeling you, dragging you deeper beneath the white surf. Each one brought the memories of what happened surging over you and were followed by everything that Darren said to you. Years of taking care of Darren and doing whatever he wished were tearing at your soul, years of giving up little things in your life to make him happy, and years of taking care of a man who you thought cared about you, but hated you enough to kill your parents and try to kill you too.

It made your skin crawl. Each time your brother told you that he loved you was an even bigger lie and now that you knew the truth and saw him for what he was, it felt like you were drowning. The darkness that ebbed just on the edge was begging you to leap into the abyss, but you were resisting the best you could.

The tears had stopped falling miles ago, but you couldn't stop the memories or the emotion that formed a cold ball in the pit of your stomach.

A sigh works it's way up and you pull your legs on the seat underneath you, jostling the creature on your lap that raises it's head for a moment to blink it's black eyes at you sleepily.

It was surprisingly docile right now, especially considering that twenty hours ago it had ripped your brother to shreds. In fact it seemed to understand how upset you were and had spent the better part of the last twenty hours rubbing it's head against your arm as if trying to bring you some comfort. It was settled on your lap, the weight of it a comfort, almost like a weighted plushy that gave you something to focus on.

"It's alright buddy." You whisper, scratching him under his chin. "We're almost home."

The phone in your jacket pocket buzzes again, but when you pull it out to turn it off, you catch a glimpse of the screen, and you hesitate. Because this time it's not Annie who's calling, it’s Ben.

The picture that flashes on the screen under the contact name "Gramps" is the picture of Mr. Fredrickson from Up. It always made you smile whenever he called you and you saw the picture because Ben did often remind you of him. He was certainly just as grumpy as Mr. Fredrickson and just as out of touch, but you thought it was cute.

Your thumb hovers over the answer button and you think about talking to him.

But what would I say?

You weren't sure what to say to him, or why you wanted to speak to him so badly, why you wanted him to be sitting here on the bus with you as you went home, and why you wanted him to hold you against his chest while you allowed yourself to break, but you did. You wanted to feel his awkward shoulder pat and his awkward version of hand holding and you wanted to hear him try to tell you to "buck up" or whatever he thought that a comforting word should be.

He's really not the best at that.

You smile to yourself at the memory of how he tried to comfort you back at the hospital, but the longer you sit there and look down at the picture on the screen the worse you feel.

Maybe that scared you more than your newfound powers, how much you were realizing that you needed him, how much you depended on him when things got too much for you to bear. The memory of him appearing as soon as you needed him back at the shop, another of him grabbing Darren and throwing him into the street as soon as Darren insulted you comes in a flash, and finally followed by the memory of Ben carrying you out of Elijah's office while you curled into his chest. You couldn't remember too much from that moment, in fact you'd thought that Ben had kissed you on top of your head, but you ascribed that to the haze of pain you'd been in from your broken arm.

What you did remember was how wonderfully warm he was after you'd been trapped in that damn freezer and how nice it felt to be in his arms. Another memory of Ben sleeping on the couch at the hospital bubbles up and you feel something in your chest begin to crack open. And you try your best to tell yourself the same thing that you always do when you feel like Ben might care more about you that he was letting on.

Ben doesn't want that. He's made it perfectly clear. He doesn't want a relationship. He's only wants one night, that's why he goes out with all those women-

You hesitate, thumb still hovering over the answer button as you do, the memory of the week you'd spent at the apartment with him flickering in the back of your mind. The week where he refused to leave you alone in the apartment, where he refused to do any jobs for Butcher, where he took care of you the best way he could, when he sat with you on the couch and made you laugh with his ridiculous movies, and the week where he hadn't had one date.

Your finger itched to answer the phone, but you couldn't, because you didn't want to feel this way about Ben, not when he'd told you countless times that you kept romanticizing him, not when he told you that he didn't want a relationship, and not when you could feel yourself beginning to fall for someone you thought was the wrong man.

For just a moment you tried to pretend that it was different, that he was different, but you didn't want to. It only made it hurt more.

The phone stops ringing, but the pit in your stomach still gapes open at you and for the first time in twenty hours you feel tears begin to fall. You didn't know why you were crying about this, why the thought of not picking up Ben's phone call seemed to hurt more than everything that had happened, but something made it hurt.

The bus driver announces over the overhead that you're reaching your final destination as he takes the exit for your hometown. The familiar buildings that line the streets are sheathed in a honeyed glow from the sun, the long shadow of the bus darkening them momentarily as it rumbles down the small streets to the bus station.

When it rumbles to a stop at the bus station you wait for everyone else to get off, trying to summon the strength to stand, and swipe the back of your hand across your face to rid yourself of the remaining tears.

The bus station was about a thirty minute walk from your grandmother's house, and you still hadn't called her. You didn't know what to say, didn't know how to tell her that Darren was dead and that he was the reason why your parents were dead.

The creature crawls up your body to drape it's warm body over the back of your neck as you stand. It wasn't bothering to hide, besides the people in your hometown already thought that you were odd because you were a supe and you'd always welcomed it. You give him a scratch on top of his head and his warm tongue flicks on the bottom of your earlobe as if thanking you before it curls further into the side of your neck, seeking warmth.

The first few steps on solid ground are shaky, but you find the strength while taking in a deep cleansing breath of the outside world, letting the gentle warmth of the sun and the tickle of the autumn breeze pull at your coat. You hadn't stopped at your apartment before coming here, instead you had stumbled your way to the bus station covered in dust, flecked in blood, and demanded the first ticket back to Illinois. It was lucky that the next bus was leaving immediately, because you didn’t want to spend another second in NYC, not when all you wanted was to be home.

Plus you were worried that someone had recorded what exactly happened outside the plant shop and you didn't want to get arrested.

It was self defense anyway. Maybe Jake would represent me in court.

The thought of Jake makes you twinge. You hadn't checked to see if he was alright before you ran from the scene. Not to mention you'd destroyed the shop he'd put all his life savings into after he stopped being a lawyer.

Oh fuck, what if he sues me? He can't exactly sue Darren…

You hear someone call your name and you open your eyes.

Your grandmother is standing in front of the same baby blue pickup truck that she'd had longer than you've been alive, wearing a long multicolored skirt and a pressed white blouse tucked elegantly into it. Her silver hair is loose and long, curling over her shoulders in gentle waves. She looks the same way she looked one week ago when she left, and you've never seen anything so beautiful in your life.

You're running before you can stop yourself, crumbling into her warm embrace, with more tears streaking down your face, but she doesn't mind.

"Shh. It's alright honey." She whispers, rubbing her hand over your back, her embrace steady and surprisingly strong. "Let's go home."

Her home is the same as it's always been. A two story Victorian house painted in a happy yellow shade, with a white wrap around porch and two white rocking chairs sitting empty on the front porch. You'd spent more nights than you could count rocking silently beside her with a crochet project in your lap listening to the rain fall and soak the world outside, while the plants sang praises with every gentle bend beneath the heavy droplets.

You could barely remember the home you spent in your early years with your parents, not when you'd spent most of your childhood spending the night here and after your parents died living here permanently. There was still a large oak tree were a wooden swing swung in the slight breeze on the left side of the yard, a gardenia bush that stretched as high as the second story on the right side of the house and brushed it's soft leaves against the sunshine colored outer walls, a garden filled with both flowering plants and herbs that perked up on both sides of the front yard as you walked up the path, and a cobblestone path that Annie and you had spent hours of your shared childhood covering in chalk art.

Neither of you were good, but when the rain would fall and smudge the clean lines, you'd jump in the puddles that pooled along the walkway singing the lyrics to ABBA's "Cassandra" not quite understanding what it meant.

Standing here outside your house made you miss Annie and feel worse about not calling or texting her back, but you didn't feel like talking about what happened and you were sure that Butcher filled her in. The only thing that you wanted was to collapse in your bedroom upstairs and curl under the comforters.

Despite everything the house was a welcome sight, but at the same time it was different. You could feel the plants calling out to you, asking for you, bending towards you just to touch your shoes as you walked by. You'd never felt so connected with them before, not even when you were in your apartment or working at the shop.�� It was overwhelming.

And although a part of you was frightened by it, another part of you rejoiced in it. You didn't feel alone, didn't feel weak, and you knew that you never would ever again.

The creature nuzzled into the side of your neck with a sigh, soaking up the sun's healing rays as you walked up the front steps with your grandmother following behind you silently. She hadn't spoken since she picked you up at the bus station and you hadn't supplied anything in the ten minute car ride back to her house.

You didn't know where to start and you were still trying to process everything yourself.

The inside of her house was just as cozy and warm as it was the day you moved out. There were photos of your parents and you covering the walls (Darren's had been placed in the closet long ago), half-finished knitting projects sorted in different baskets on both the dining room table and the living room coffee table, spools of yarn were strewn over the couch sorted by color, and the fresh smell of gardenia wafted through the open windows on the breeze.

It was home. This was what you'd been missing the moment everything began to crash over you, but as you stood there in the familiar living room it felt like something was missing. Something tugged at the back of your mind, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

There was something or rather someone that should be here, but you didn't know what or who. And your mind supplied Annie, but you weren't sure that's who you meant.

"Let's have some tea." Your grandmother says from behind you and you feel her soft hands come down on your shoulders to steer you through the familiar creative chaos and into the large kitchen at the back of the house.

The kitchen isn't spared from the madness, it rarely was. There are boxes upon boxes of cookies in different stages of being packaged all over the counter, dirty bowls and a measuring cup stacked in the sink, and a large opened bag of chocolate chips spilling over the flour covered kitchen island.

It wasn't unusual to find the kitchen or the house in a state of chaos, your grandmother always said that a house should look lived in and that the mess was part of the fun of any major project as long as you were responsible enough to clean it up.

"Bake sale?" You ask as you sit down in the breakfast nook, uttering the first words that you'd said to another human being in twenty hours.

The next breath that you inhale was supposed to be cleansing, but you can still feel a weight pressing down on your chest, the same one that settled in the moment everything happened with Darren.

You contemplate again how you're going to tell her that Darren is dead and was the reason why your parents died.

Damn it Darren.

"Mhmm." She hums, filling the well used red kettle. "Annie's mother practically cornered me in the supermarket yesterday and begged me to make cookies. I love Annie, but her mother needs someone to pull that stick out of her ass. It's been up there for so long that I'm sure it's rotten."

The creature crawls down from your shoulders and down your arm to sniff at one of the chocolate chip cookies nearest you. It hadn't eaten since…

Darren.

You wince slightly at the thought and hope that you hadn't created something that needed and craved human flesh. The last thing you wanted to unleash on the world was Audry two especially in the wake of Homelander.

Truthfully you were waiting for the guilt at killing your brother to come, but it never had and you wondered if it ever would.

Probably not. He deserved that, he killed our parents, he tried to kill me, he tried to kill Ben.

The thought of Ben again makes a lump form in the back of your throat. You didn't know what was happening to you only that you felt guilty for leaving him like that, for yelling at him to let you go, and just vanishing on him when he probably thought that you were going back to the apartment.

He doesn't know where I am. Maybe that's why he tried to call, because he got back to the apartment and couldn't find me there and he was worried. You press your lips together. Yeah. Worried. Right.

"Honey?" Your grandmother says in a soothing voice

You look up from the box of chocolate chip cookies that you didn't remember picking up. Even the creature is looking at you with an expression that you can only explain as worry.

"Yeah?" Your voice shakes slightly.

She's leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, head tilted slightly to the side, her beautiful grayed hair pulled up in an elegant bun, but in her eyes you can see genuine concern. "Fuck." She sighs after a minute.

You blink in surprise. It was the first time that you'd ever heard her say that word in your entire life.

"I shouldn't have left." She breathes. "I told Ben to look out for you. I told him, that little bastard was bound to show up again and what did he do? He left you at that plant shop alone with no protection!"

You'd only seen her really angry a handful of times in your lifetime. Like you, your grandmother often had a gentle disposition and didn't get angry unless the situation called for it.

I mean, Darren admitted to killing our parents and then got fucking ripped apart. But how does she know about any of that? I haven't told her…

"How did you know that he left me there? Did Ben call you?" You ask putting down the box of cookies.

An odd expression crosses her face, as if she's contemplating something. "No." She hesitates again. "I saw it."

"No." Your grandmother hesitates. "I saw it."

"You saw it?" You repeat, confused.

What's going on?

"Too late of course, but I'm a little rusty. I was able to warn Ben that Darren was coming back. That's how he got there so quickly or rather-" She shrugs sheepishly. "He got there in time to make sure that Darren didn't get you to forgive him. Which you shouldn't have at all, but I know he's always had a talent for manipulating you."

"What?"

Is she saying what I think she's saying?

Instead of explaining further your grandmother walks out of the kitchen, leaving the kettle behind on the stove and you in a state of utter confusion.

Is she saying that she can see the future? Because that would mean that she's a supe and there's only one supe in history that I know of that can do that. A supe that no one has seen in over forty years.

You can hear her open the door to the closet under the stairs and the sound of her sifting through all the junk that the two of you had shoved in there over the years instead of finding the right place to put it.

When she comes back into the kitchen, she's holding a giant cardboard file box that you'd never paid attention to each time you opened the closet to find something. Your eyes shift from the box to her still not comprehending exactly what she was saying.

"I probably should have told you this a while ago, but…" She trails off and nods her head at the box before turning back to the kettle on the stove that has begun to scream. "I kept putting it off."

The box is old, worn at the edges, and theres a musty black fabric beneath a collection of yellowed photographs. You pull out the one on top to examine it.

Ben is standing there in his full Soldier Boy regalia outside of Vought tower and the woman standing next to him is Soothsayer. The outfit she wore was familiar, a black-skin tight suit with a blind fold tied over her eyes.

Soothsayer was a supe who could see the future and who was apart of Payback, a supe that had vanished a year before the mission in Nicaragua and no one knew where she went. There were rumors that she'd died and that she'd been a Russian spy, but you'd never believed them. You'd heard Butcher talk about how he tried to find her when he was trying to figure out what happened to Soldier Boy, but he never had. Said that the trail went cold.

But now you knew where she went, because she was standing directly in front of you.

She's Soothsayer? Holy fuck that's why Ben kept accusing her of cheating in the poker game because he knew that she could see the future.

"You were Soothsayer?" You gasp. "But why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me?"

She continues to measure the tea leaves. "I didn't tell anyone."

"Grandpa didn't know? But he was alive when you were a supe?"

Your grandfather had never spoken about a history with supes that you remember.

"No." She turns to look at you, a hurt expression crossing over her face for a minute. "Well, I know that I said I was going to have tea, but if we're going to talk about this I'm going to need something a little bit stronger."

Your grandmother opens a cabinet under the stove an pulls out an enormous bottle of scotch. Truth be told you'd never seen her drink more than just a glass of wine, to see her like this was about as shocking as seeing a polar bear sunning itself on a Florida beach.

"Do you still want the blueberry tea or do you need something a little stronger?" She looks back over her shoulder at you as she pulls down a glass for herself.

"I think I need something stronger." You answer honestly.

Learning about everything Darren had done was one thing, but finding out that your grandmother used to be a famous supe and that she never told you about it was another thing. It was like looking at another person. You'd always loved your grandmother's gentle way, her care for her community and her family soft, but now you weren't sure you really knew who she was.

She sits down across from you and hands you a glass of the amber colored liquid. There's a heavy silence that hangs between the two of you as she tries to find a way to start. The photo of her and Ben is laying on top of what you realize is her uniform inside the box and she smiles down at the photo, just a little twitch at the corner of her lips.

"I met Ben when I was twenty three years old." She begins taking a sip from the glass. "Legend 'discovered' me. I had the injection of Compound V maybe two years before that, not when I was born, but I hadn't gotten popular. Other powers were much more flashy and by then there were so many heroes coming out of the woodwork that someone with the ability to see the future didn't seem as marketable."

There's something reflected in her blue eyes, the same eyes your father had, that you can't place. "I had just moved to New York, I had no money, and the way I was getting it was by pretending to be a fortune teller and betting on some sports events on the side. It wasn't hard to prove that I could see the future, the past was more difficult, but Legend somehow stumbled into my shop and figured out that I was a supe. And he didn't think I was too bad looking so he helped me get big."

"You pretended to be a fortune teller?"

She snorts into her glass. "Mhmm. People really will believe anything if they're desperate enough and back then there was so much turmoil going on with Russia that people were scared and wanted to feel comforted. My job provided some of that."

"But why did you walk away from it if you were such a big hero." You ask. "Everyone knew your name, you were-"

Your grandmother raises an eyebrow at you and you fall silent so she can continue. "When I got onto Payback that's when everything exploded for me, the films, the commercials, the ridiculous ads." She sighs. "That's also when I met Ben."

You take a sip from the glass in front of you, sputtering slightly. It was stronger than you were expecting. "And you two were-"

Please don't say dating, please don't say dating, please don't say…

"Friends. Just friends." Diana sits back against the back of the breakfast nook, sinking into the navy blue pillows. "But he is almost as charming now as he was then."

You cringe at the thought of Ben coming on to a younger version of your grandmother.

She taps her glass with her index finger deep in thought. "But I think that I was the only person that Ben actually talked to, the only person that he was comfortable being around."

"What do you mean?" You ask confused. "Didn't he talk to Countess and to Legend?"

Her expression hardens at the mention of Countess's name. "He didn't talk to her the way he talked to me. Ben is difficult, he always has been and I think that most of the people he meet him write him off as this asshole with a chauvinistic look on the world, but he's not. At least, not all the time. There are so many people that he's met that are never willing to take a chance on him. To trust that there is really something beneath all of that bravado."

It was what you had been thinking for the past week, that there was more to Ben than he was willing to let people see, but you were slowly realizing that Ben was letting you see those parts. In the quiet moments at your shared apartment when he sat with you while you read or made you laugh or walked you to and from work you saw another side of Ben that you never saw when he was around anyone else. The guilt rises again when you think of how you ran from him, how you turned your back and left him standing there to clean up your mess.

I shouldn’t have done that, but it was all just so overwhelming and I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I think that Ben is the most loyal friend I ever had. No one ever seems to believe me when I say that. That we were just friends, but nothing happened between us."

"You didn't date? Or sleep together?" You ask cautiously. It was difficult to imagine Ben being friends with a woman and not having a sexual relationship with her.

Well. We're friends, but that's different.

The last thing you wanted to think about was Ben and your grandmother having sex.

I would need so much therapy after that. You sigh. Yeah, because after all the shit I've been through and found out about my life in the last twenty hours, the knowledge that Ben fucked my grandmother is what's going to push me over the edge.

"No." She shakes her head with a small smile. "About a week after I met Ben, I was running late to a movie shoot and I stepped off the crosswalk without looking. There was a car coming and I didn't see it. Ironic isn't it?" She laughs at herself. "I can see the future and I didn't see a car coming, but your grandfather did and he grabbed the back of my jacket and yanked me onto the sidewalk, saved my life. And the second my eyes locked with his I saw our future. I saw our wedding, our first house, I saw our son take his first steps and I saw how much I would love him and how much he would love me." She clears her throat for a minute, her fingers tighten on the glass, and her gaze drops to the wedding ring on her left hand. “The future is never set in stone, it’s fluid. It morphs and shapes with your decisions, but in the future I saw, I was so happy. And I didn’t want to lose that.”

Your grandfather had passed a few years ago, but you knew it weighed on her everyday. She had spent the week after he died in her room not saying anything to anyone. And sometimes she'd look out the window into the backyard with an odd expression, but you knew that meant she was thinking of him.

Growing up you'd seen how in love the two of them were, more so than your parents. Seen the flowers your grandfather always brought home just because he was thinking of her, watched him do little things around the house without being asked, saw how they never walked away angry from one another, and seen the soppy expression he'd get when he watched your grandmother move around the kitchen baking with a grace that you'd never possessed.

You reach across the table to touch her hand and she takes it gratefully.

"I didn't want to tell him that I was a supe, and at the beginning I thought I could balance it all, but then Ben started dating Countess." She takes another sip from her glass. "She hated me."

"What? Why?" You ask. The creature crawls across the table to sniff at the glass in front of you, before it snorts and falls into your lap, curling into a ball.

"Countess was a bitch." Your grandmother says mirthlessly, her expression hardening. "She wanted to possess Ben completely. Only loved how famous he was, how popular it made her, and he threw himself at her feet, in his own way, not understanding that love didn’t look that way. He’s never had a good example of it in his life. And she never understood that Ben and I were just friends. By then I had been dating your grandfather for a few months and things were getting serious. It was about a year before everything that happened in Nicaragua."

She presses her lips together as if remembering what happened to Ben there. "She was jealous, possessive, and she came to me one night. Ben was out of town for a film so she knew we wouldn’t be interrupted. She threatened to tell your grandfather who I really was and threatened to kill him.” Her jaw sets. “My powers were never really as offensive as hers were. And she said that Ben wouldn’t ever protect me over her because he loved her and would do anything to make her happy. So I left and I never looked back.”

And here I thought I couldn't hate Countess any more than I did for what she did to Ben.

“You didn’t talk to him ever again?” You wonder out loud.

She left without telling him goodbye?

“There was the occasional phone call. Sometimes Ben would ask me to see who was going to win a ball game or something so he could make a few bucks. He stopped by to say hi a few times because he was in the neighborhood. One time he brought your father a baseball glove that was way too big for a one year old.” She snorts, the memory flashing in her eyes. “I always thought Ben would be a good dad some day. But I think seeing your father was when Ben realized how much he wanted to have kids. And I think seeing the way your grandfather treated me made him start to feel conflicted about Countess. But he respected that I walked away, he saw that I was happy.”

“But what about Nicaragua?"

A dark look crosses her face followed by something that looks suspiciously like guilt. “I saw what they were going to do to him.”

“What? But why didn't you tell him what they were planning? Why didn't you-"

"I tried." She snaps, shoulders tense, but then they drop. "I called Ben, but Stan answered. By then your father was turning two, your grandfather had opened up his practice, and Stan threatened me, he knew where we were and knew everything about us. So I kept my mouth shut and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

You could feel your heart breaking for her.

Ben was her best friend and she had to sit by and watch them do that to him. She saw what they were going to do and they were going to kill her for it, kill my family for it.

The anger that surges in your chest makes the creature in your lap stir and grow a few inches, but you tamp it down before it gets bigger than a small dog.

“Does Ben know?” You ask her to distract yourself.

You didn't want Ben to hate your grandmother for this, didn't want him to hate her for something that wasn't her fault.

She nods. “Yes. I told him everything.”

“When?”

“The moment I saw him in your hospital room. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I wasn't expecting him to be there, but it all poured out of me. I was so surprised to see him there. I hadn't seen a future where he came back."

“Was he mad?”

I mean… he didn't seem mad when I woke up, not to mention he was upset when she left to come back to Illinois.

“Not at me.” She shakes her head. “He knew how much I wanted a normal life and how much I loved your grandfather. He doesn’t blame me for any of it.”

“Good. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

The glass in front of you is still more than half-full but you don't want to risk another sip of what you're sure is gasoline packaged to look like Scotch. Your grandmother reaches to pour herself another glass.

“I didn’t want to until you were ready.”

“And when would that be?”

Your grandmother shrugs. “Maybe on my deathbed.”

You weren't angry for her not telling you, more surprised, but now that you knew everything about her it was hard to see her the same way you had.

 You snort. “And no one knew?”

“Your dad figured it out.”

“How? When?”

“The moment you made that strawberry plant grow from your high chair.” She shakes her head with a smile. “It skipped a generation. Don’t know why, but you got it all somehow.”

“I was never injected?”

“No. That was a lie your father created. He knew that your grandfather didn't know and he knew that I didn't want your grandfather to know."

“Darren thought I was.”

“I know.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you watch her expression harden and she takes another swig from the glass in front of her, not flinching as the liquid goes down her throat.

“Did you see everything that happened?” You ask in a small voice.

You still weren't 100% sure how it was her powers worked, but you figured that she was able to see some of what Darren did and what he said.

“Yes.”

“You heard everything Darren said?"

“Yes.”

You chew the inside of your cheek for a minute hoping that she didn't take it as hard as you did. “Did you know that he killed them?”

“No.” She breathes, rolling the glass between her hands for a moment. “The night they died, I got a vision a few minutes before the car ran off the road. I was the one who called the police and who told them where to look, but I never saw that it was Darren or that it was anyone causing the accident. All I saw was the three of you in the car. I should have known.” Her voice breaks.

“It’s not your fault.” You squeeze her hand.

“And it’s not yours either.” She squeezes your hand back.

The memories are beginning to float up from the recesses of your mind and your teeth clench together as you try to keep them at bay.

“I know.” You breathe. The memory of the ruined shop flashes through your head. “I didn’t know that I could do something like that.” You gently touch your healed right arm and glance at the creature that is nibbling on the edge of the cardboard box with its sharp splinter-like teeth. “I feel so different and I don’t know how to go back to the way I was.”

“I don’t think you ever will.”

"Really?"

The thought was unwelcome. You were hoping that all of this was going to blow over, but you knew it wouldn't. Your powers had changed. There was an energy that thrummed in your veins now, stretching out of the house to the plants that grew in the garden. You could feel them all if you concentrated.

She frowns. “When you told me that you were working for Butcher I was worried about you getting involved in the supe world. I didn’t want that life for you, didn’t want you to suffer the way I did-“

“Was it really that bad?"

“Not all the time, just at the end. But I think that’s why I loved your grandfather so much. Because he was different than all the supes. He was down to earth, not just normal but-“ She shrugs. “I think Compound V does something to our minds, makes them more susceptible and when you’re surrounded by people using their powers and thinking that they’re gods it’s easy to lose who you are. I was glad I left when I did."

“Great." You huff, thinking about how your powers had grown exponentially since you killed your brother. It was scaring you to think that you would reach a point where you acted like Homelander, where you saw yourself as a god and killed anyone who stood in your way.

As tired as the stereotype of you only being able to make the flowers grow, you liked doing that. You liked healing plants, tending to them, and helping them grow. For you it had never been about using your powers the way that you had to kill Elijah and your brother and had always been about spreading a little more joy and love like your grandmother did with her kindness in her community.

Your mind flashes back to the first night that Ben stayed with you in your apartment and he'd asked you why you worked for Butcher and told you that he thought you "didn't fit."

Before you hadn't. You knew that. You weren't intimidating to look at or fueled by revenge or had a bone to pick with supes. You'd joined because you thought it was the right thing to do and because you wanted to be closer with Annie. She had been so involved in the supe world and you'd felt like you were losing your best friend. When in reality being at "Please Don't Die" was the only thing that felt natural for you.

You could feel yourself changing and you weren't sure that you wanted to and you weren't sure if you were changing for the better. Deep down you still felt like you, despite everything Darren had revealed, but your powers were greater than you'd thought they could be.

“No.” She squeezes your hand pulling you out of your head. “I don’t see you losing yourself in this.”

“You’ve seen-“ Your eyes widen.

“The future yeah.” Her lips twitch up at the ends in a smile. “It is what I do.”

“That’s so weird.”

You hadn't meant to say it, but you really didn't want to know too much about your future.

Well, not all that much. Maybe just a little.

“You of all people have no right to judge what’s weird. Not with Godzilla sitting in your lap.”

"Godzilla" yawns, flashing a mouthful of his pointy teeth, before settling back down on your thighs.

You smile for the first time in twenty hours, but then it drops. “I don’t like losing control. I thought I knew who I was but now I don’t-“ The emotions were bubbling up again, chest tightening, and lungs beginning to gasp for air. “I don’t know who I am anymore or what I am or what I can do and-“

“There’s nothing wrong with not being in control.”

“But what if I hurt someone? What if I kill-“ You body shakes as you think about all the important people in your life, Annie, Hughie, Butcher, Kimiko, MM, Frenchie- and then your mind stutters on Ben.

“Your powers are growing and there’s nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. If you’re afraid of them it won’t get easier for you. You have to embrace the fear to see the lights that line the path through it.”

"I killed Darren, I killed Elijah-"

"Not because you lost control. You did it because you were protecting yourself and protecting your friends."

"But-"

"Who is it that you're scared of hurting? Annie?" Her expression turns sympathetic. "Annie is a supe and understands what it's like to lose control. None of us are in control all the time and it's ridiculous to believe that you won't lose control at least once."

Your throat clenches tightly, because when she asked the question you didn't see Annie's face, you saw Ben's. You knew that it was probably ridiculous to worry about hurting a guy with a nuclear reactor stuffed in his chest or a guy who'd been through every torture known to man, but you were. And you weren't entirely sure if you meant hurting him with just your powers.

Tears crest and fall down your cheeks as you sit there, throat thickening. "I don't want to hurt Ben."

"He's a little more indestructible than us sweetie." She cracks a smile, but you can't smile back and you don't answer because you're unsure how to.

She sits back against the breakfast nook and sighs, examining your face and slowly realizes what you mean. "Ben is complicated. He always has been. I like to think that most of it, is his father's fault. Has he told you anything about him?"

You shake your head.

"He was a dick. Made Ben think that he was a disappointment his whole life. I don't think that Ben has had someone love him unconditionally since his mother died. And loving Countess only made it worse for him. Her love was jealous, possessive, and I don't think that he's really come to terms with what real love should look like." She lets out a breath, tapping her index finger against the glass. "I never saw him as more than a friend, but I do love him. It's not a crime to love him."

"I don't love him." You say it immediately.

"Why not?"

"What?" You sputter. "I don't know what you're-"

"Tell me why you don't love him." Your grandma says methodically, as if she's trying to talk you through it.

"Because I-" The pressure was back in the back of your throat and you couldn't quite meet her eye. "Because-" You scramble for the answer, trying your darndest to keep your heart from clenching in your chest. "I want what you and grandpa had, what Annie and Hughie have, and what my parents had. A strong relationship with someone who sees all my flaws, the little parts, and the darkness and still choses to fall in love with me anyway. I don't want just one night I want every night. I want something real and Ben has said countless times that he-"

"So you've talked about it with Ben?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Only because he kept trying to sleep with me and I told him that I didn't want to have sex with him." You reply exasperated.

"You don't?"

"Gran!"

"What? He's attractive."

"It doesn't matter. None of it does. Because Ben has said that he doesn't have relationships, that he doesn't care about feelings, or emotions." Saying the words that Ben had told you countless times made something inside begin to shrivel up and die. "And I do. And I don't want to manipulate him into being something he's not or force him into a relationship that's doomed from the beginning. Ben is Ben. He's not changing or-"

"He has." She interrupts.

"What?"

"The Ben I saw in your hospital room is not the one I knew." She says it so matter of fact that makes it hard to breathe. "And neither was the one that I saw in your apartment when I stayed with you. I mean he is in essence Ben, but-"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He is changing. Not completely, but he's acting differently than when he was with Countess. I mean, I saw all the things he did for her. The way he was around her."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because he loved her."

The words make your heart seize in your chest. "Ben doesn't love me. He's my roommate and my friend-" It was the same thing that you kept telling yourself on repeat to beat back the other feelings that you hadn't quite identified yet. "And he's told me that he doesn't want a relationship and that I should try to meet other people."

That last part was a lie, but you honestly didn't know where she was going with this conversation or why it was getting so hard to breathe.

"Have you thought that maybe Ben doesn't want to love you because he's scared?"

"He doesn't love me and Ben isn't afraid of anything."

"He is. It might not look the same way on him as it does on everyone else, but if you pay close enough attention you can catch it." She hesitates. "And I think if you pay attention to you, you'll see what it is that you're afraid of too."

What does she mean? What the hell am I afraid of? Ben isn't afraid of anything, he's practically shouted that from the mountaintops like Julie Andrews.

"I already told you what I'm afraid of."

"I'm not talking about you hurting someone honey. There's something else that you refuse to admit to yourself because you're scared." She smiles sadly at you. "You should though, because when you embrace it, what comes after is really beautiful." There's a far off look in her eyes and you realize that she'd seen something further ahead that she wasn't letting on.

"And it's all I want for you. To be happy." Your grandmother stands from the other side of the booth "I think you need some rest. You drove all night long and I doubt you got any sleep. And I have to package all of these before Annie's mother calls down the four horsemen of the Apocalypse on me."

"Wait-"

"Please sweetie." She lays her hand down on your arm. "I think you'll feel a little better about all of this when you've had some rest." Her fingers raise to push back some of the hair that's fallen forward into your eyes. "Hmm?"

You didn't want to rest, you wanted to talk about this, but you knew better than to argue with her. Not to mention she was right, you hadn't slept.

"And when you wake up I'll make your favorite for dinner, alright?" She smiles, but there's something behind it that you can't place.

"Okay."

And this time you don't argue with her. You go up the worn staircase that you have your entire life and collapse onto your bed, wondering exactly what it was she saw your future hold, and what it is that you won't admit to yourself.

Soldier Boy POV

There was no light in the apartment save from the burning red tip of Ben's blunt and the bluish glow emanating from the tv that caught the dips and sharp edges of his face. But it was nothing more than background noise.

His hand absentmindedly stroked along Bean's back, his eyes focused on the ceiling above the couch. He hadn't moved in hours. It had been over twenty four hours since everything that happened at the plant shop, since you'd summoned a creature from the depths of the store, since Darren had thrown Ben through the plate glass windows of the bakery, and since Ben had last seen you.

He didn't understand why you hadn't let him take you back to the apartment and why it was that you had to leave. Ben hadn't liked the feeling that stabbed him in the chest when you turned your back on him and ran away. He'd felt the urge to comfort you the way he'd watched Hughie do for Annie in the car a week ago, but you hadn't let him.

Instead all he'd done is stood there and watched you run, still covered in dust, rubble, and blood. Worse was you hadn't let him check you for injuries and Ben hated the thought that you were hurt somewhere and he didn't know where you were.

You were so much more fragile than he was. He was realizing that more every day, was acutely aware of it after everything that happened with Elijah. Honestly, sitting there in the hospital with you laying there asleep with nothing that he could do, but wait for you to wake up had been agony. Not to mention that looking at the bruises around your throat, over your eye, and the bright green cast only made him feel worse. He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life and he hated it. Because Ben wasn't some helpless damsel in distress, he was a man and a man shouldn't wait on anyone or feel out of control, or at least, that's what he told himself.

Ben hears someone walk down the hallway outside the apartment and he perks up to listen, hoping that it's you finally coming home. Ben's mind stutters on the word "home." He'd lived many places in his life, apartments that felt more like way-stations, and the drafty cold mansion back in Philadelphia where he grew up, but neither felt like home. And although he hated how small your apartment was, it was the first place that Ben liked living in. He was starting to understand the word home.

But the feet keep moving past the apartment and Ben sinks into the couch cushions. Even Bean seems to be disappointed. "It's alright buddy." Ben mutters. "She'll come back."

But he wasn't sure.

Ben also wasn't used to feeling this way. It was close to the way that he felt when he went to Boston and was sitting in that damn hotel room waiting for something to happen and he still didn't understand what it meant. He didn't understand why he couldn't stand it that you weren't back yet. It made him feel like a woman waiting for her husband to get home from work when he told her that he was "running late." He'd tried to distract himself by looking at some possible prospects on Tinder, but just like the week after you'd come home from the hospital and just like the date he had in Boston, no one held any appeal.

His mind was awake and roaming around, pacing back and forth. The blunt was supposed to help, but it hadn't.

His phone chirps and Ben picks it up to look at the screen, but it's not you, it's Jake.

Jake: I know that I'm not your favorite person, but thank you for what you did.

Ben huffs and turns his phone face down on the couch once more. "What a fucking pussy."

When you left Ben had realized that Jake was still inside the building and as much as he wanted race after you, he understood that you'd be even more upset if you'd killed Jake. So Ben had tromped back through the building and found him trapped beneath some rubble. Jake was okay, just unconscious, but Ben had carried him out and put him on the sidewalk before he high tailed it out of there. The last thing that he wanted was to be caught with a shredded body outside a ruined building.

I didn't do it for him. I did it for her. Ben thinks to himself, looking down at the text message.

As much as he hated the thought of saving your future boyfriend, he didn't want to see what it did to you if you found out that you killed Jake, so he'd done it to avoid watching you cry again.

Ben didn't understand why he hated watching you cry.

Women cry. They're damn emotional all the time. He tries to reason with himself taking a puff from the blunt pinched between his thumb and forefinger. And she fucking cries way too much.

The image of you crying outside of the shop in the wake of everything that happened pricks something under his ribcage. Fuck.

Ben didn't feel remorse for what happened, well, the only thing he regretted was not getting there sooner and getting to fuck Darren up himself. When Diana had called him to tell him that Darren was coming, Ben had practically ripped the apartment door off in his haste to get back to you. He hadn’t wanted to leave you at the plant shop, but Butcher had told Ben, that he had a possible location for Darren, but it came up empty and Ben had been at Butcher's apartment chewing him out for sending him on a fucking wild goose chase.

It only made Ben more angry to allow Darren to speak to you, but he was trying to let you handle it even though he wanted to handle him. But it had brought him an unholy amount of joy to throw Darren in front of that minivan and to watch that creature tear him apart while the final whitish blue pulses of electricity jumped and crackled down the street making the streetlights shower sparks everywhere.

But Ben was more upset that Darren had been able to land a few hits on you before you killed him.

Ben remembered the giant lizard that crawled out of what was left of "Please Don't Die" and felt his lips quirk up into a smile. As much as he hated the entire situation, Ben couldn't help but feel a little surge of pride at what you'd done to your brother. He'd never seen you look so powerful standing there in the street, your eyes glowing a brilliant green, arms outstretched, and the ground trembling around you as the world begged to be unleashed.

Of course he'd been just as surprised as you were at the fact that you'd healed your broken arm. He wasn't sure if you'd noticed it yet, but you looked different too. There weren't as many lines on your face and your hair was more springy, the few silver hairs that Ben had noticed in passing were no longer there.

He wasn't sure what that meant, but there was something that felt suspiciously like hope tingling in his stomach, hope that you weren't as fragile anymore and hope that it meant you wouldn't die.

When Diana had told Ben that her husband had died, he saw the pain in her eyes when she said it, saw her relieving the memory, and for some reason as soon as she said that he was dead, the first thing Ben thought about was you. Ben hadn't considered his inability to age as much in the past, hadn't cared about outliving anyone before. Seeing Countess as an older woman had made him more aware of it. Looking at the woman who he once thought he loved, had showed him what that was like. Not that he had a problem with daring older women, Ben always thought that women really did get better with age, but it was what came next that Ben wasn't fond of.

And for some reason thinking that one day he'd wake up and see the marks of age on your face or one day he'd wake up and he wouldn't be able to annoy you or hear you yell at him made his chest tight.

Ben takes another hit of his blunt. The longer he sat there the more then unnatural feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach, thrumming through his veins, the feeling that he was trying to avoid. He thought that the joint would calm him down, but he found himself jumping at every creak and footstep in the apartment building, perking up each time and hoping that it was you coming home.

He didn't know where you were. You hadn't answered any of his texts or calls and Ben was ashamed at how many times that he had tried to call you.

Get a fucking grip. He'd thought to himself when he typed out another text message to send you, stopping himself from sending it.

But he'd been so desperate to hear from you that he'd actually gone to talk to Annie who seemed upset that she couldn't get ahold of you either. When Hughie and Annie had seen how upset Ben had been, Hughie had laid his hand on Ben's arm and told him not to worry. Ben had yelled at him that he "wasn't fucking worried and to mind his own business" and had shaken off Hughie's comforting hand before stomping out of the shared apartment.

No one else seemed to be as concerned about finding you. Butcher, MM, and Frenchie were all deeply involved in trying to figure out the cover-up for what happened outside the plant shop. By some miracle no one had caught a picture of your face, but there was little they could do about Darren's body that had been strewn across the street. Annie was having to deal with the repercussions at work, trying to handle what the news was calling a "super villain threat."

Personally, Ben thought that since they froze Homelander, the Seven looked weak and Ben believed that the superhero team that represented America shouldn't look weak. Of course before Ben had also thought that they looked like a bunch of pussies and again felt himself sink deeper into the couch when he thought about what his supposed son had become.

He shakes off the feelings he has about it and his thoughts turn back inevitably to you.

Ben wasn't used to thinking about someone as much as he thought of you, but each time he settled back into the apartment and you weren't there he was hyperaware of how quiet it was.

Maybe I should call Diana. She might know where she is.

As soon as Ben thinks that, his phone begins to ring, but Ben doesn't bother to look at who it is before he answers it. 

"Hello?" Ben huffs out a breath of smoke that hangs in the air in front of his face, catching in the bluish light coming from the television.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The voice on the other side of the line yells at him.

"Di?"

"Yes it's me. Who did you think it was? Santa Clause?" Your grandmother snarks.

"Why are you calling me and why the fuck are you so mad? What did I do?" Ben answers slightly annoyed.

As much as you got under his skin, your grandmother had been the same way. He actually thought that it was amusing that even before he figured out that she was your grandmother that he had often compared you to her in his mind. You had the same mannerisms, the same defiant and stubborn attitude that drove Ben up the wall, and you were just as beautiful as she was.

Ben was okay with admitting that he was attracted to you. To him that felt normal, it was the other feelings that he was conflicted about, the ones that he'd never felt before stirring in his chest that made him feel "too emotional" and "woman-like."

Truthfully, Ben was sure that if your grandmother had given him a shot that maybe he would have felt that way about her too. She was the only person that Ben actually trusted in the 80's, the only person that was brave enough to call him out on all his shit. You did that now. But he liked her husband also, so Ben was content with letting her go. He liked how happy that Henry, your grandfather, had made her. He knew that she wasn't happy as a supe and seeing her so happy and in love made Ben feel something that was close to happiness.

And it was seeing the way the two of them were together made Ben wonder if what he had with Countess was the same thing. Because he did have feelings about her that were different, but each time he went to visit Diana and saw your father playing on her lap he felt that there was something missing in his life.

It was the same way that he thought something was missing when you weren't in the apartment, but Ben hadn't realized that yet.

"Because I don't understand what the hell you're doing!" Diana replies and Ben honestly doesn't know why she's angry with him.

"About what?"

"My granddaughter."

Ben sits up the blunt in his fingertips forgotten. "Is she there with you?"

"Yes." Her voice softens for a moment.

Ben relaxes and leans back onto the couch, sighing in relief. "Good.  That's good." Relief swelled in his chest when he thought about you staying with her, safe.

That's what she meant when she said that she wanted to go home. Home is with her grandmother. Ben stopped the next thought before he could go there.

The thought that home wasn't with him.

Ben was trying not to think about that or think about you hating him. He didn't think you did, well, didn't think you did anymore. At first it really was touch and go, but now he was almost eighty percent sure after you'd told him more than once that you weren't afraid of him and didn’t hate him that you sometimes wanted him around.

"No, not good."

"What do you mean? Is she okay?" Ben's grip on the phone tightens so hard that he's sure that he hears the screen cracking.

"No."

"What happened?" Ben's voice is a growl, the feelings of relief evaporating as soon as they had begun to bloom in his chest. He mentally calculated how long it would take him to get to you.

"Her entire life fucking fell apart and where are you? Not here!"

Oh. Ben relaxed a little bit.

"I don't need to be there." He says on an exhale of smoke.

"Yes you do!" Diana presses.

"No, I don't. She a big girl she doesn't need me there, she's-" Ben takes a puff from the joint.

“If you were any denser you’d be a Bundt cake Benjamin!” She says exasperated.

"What the fuck are you talking about doll? I am not-"

“Let me guess." She interrupts and Ben can imagine her tapping her foot. He hated when she did that. "You’re moping around smoking a blunt on the couch probably with a glass of something that you're hoping to numb whatever the hell it is you're feeling."

Ben's eyes shift to the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table that he hadn't touched in a few minutes.

“I’m not fucking moping and stop spying on me!” He snaps back at Diana.

He hated how well she knew him. She was his best friend in the 80's through all the shit, she had seen him at his worst and at his best too many times to count.

“I don’t have to use my powers to know what you’re doing. I know you Ben.”

"Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart.” Ben grits his teeth, temper flaring hot. “But if you know me as well as you fucking say you do then you then you know that this is-“

“You avoiding your feelings by acting aloof and brooding like a fucked up version of Mr. Darcy.” She interrupts.

She certainly hasn't changed.

“I am not avoiding-“

“She needs you here Ben.” Diana stamps her foot, the same way you do when Ben pisses you off, and Ben can hear it.

“She doesn’t need me! She said that she wanted to go home, that she didn’t want to be here with me! I tried to-“ Ben shouts back standing up. It was the exact thing that he'd been thinking for the past twenty four hours, that you didn’t need him and that you didn't want to be any where near him.

That last thought made an uncomfortable sensation prickle in his gut when he thought it, because all it did was remind him of how you acted when the two of you first met, when you didn't want him to live with you and tried your darndest to make him go away.

He didn’t want to and he wasn't sure why that was.

“Try harder.” Diana interrupts him again and frankly it was pissing him off.

Ben clenches his jaw. “I think that you’ve confused me with someone else baby.”

“Don’t you 'baby' me Benjamin! We both know that you’re doing what you always do when things get hard for you.”

“And what’s that?”

“You pretend not to care and shut out everyone who tries to care for you. Not to mention you drown yourself in drugs, booze, and women.”

“She doesn’t care about me!” He spits.

“She does!” Diana snaps back. “And believe it or not she needs you here and she wants you here.”

"But-"

"Ben please." It was the first time that he'd heard Diana sound softer and almost pleading since the conversation started. "Don't do this to her. She's worth more than Countess and all those other women you've fallen into bed with."

"Do you really think I don't know that?" He roars. The answer surprises himself. "Do you think I don't know that she's different?"

Wait what?

"If you know that, then why aren't you here?"

He hesitates.

Everything you said to him the night of the party comes roaring back. You looking beautiful in a dress that made his throat tight, and you telling him that you just wanted to be friends and that you understood that he wasn't the type of guy to have relationships. He didn't understand why it stung a bit when you said that, but it had.

Ben thinks about the week that the two of you spent together after Diana went home, when he tried his best to take care of you, distract you from everything that happened with his movies, and would sit with you and try to make you laugh. He'd never wanted to take care of someone before.

Not to mention he kind of liked the way you laughed. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but each time you did, it made him want to laugh too. That had never happened to him before. But he wanted to make you laugh to forget everything that happened with Elijah. His fist clenches when he thinks of exactly what Elijah tried to do to you and it makes him feel so mad that he feels close to spontaneously combusting. Ben might not be the best role model when it came to women, but he couldn’t imagine the type of man who would force himself on someone else.

It had made him angry when he thought that you were suggesting that he would try something when he first moved in, because he wasn't that type of man.

Ben was trying to be better for you. He wasn't admitting that, but he really was trying to be better. He didn't understand why. You'd told him countless times that you didn’t want to be with him, that you wanted to be with someone else like Jake.

Ben frowns when he thinks about the man he'd pulled from the rubble of the shop. And again thinks to himself that you should be with someone different, someone who was a supe and could understand you. Ben had seen how difficult it was for Diana when she was keeping her supe life a secret from your grandfather and he didn't want you to have to do that with someone.

"Because I'm not-" Ben begins to say, but he holds his tongue. It was too honest, too raw, too unlike him to admit this to anyone.

Because I'm not this guy. Because I'm not the one she wants. Because I'm not some knight on a white horse. Because she's everything right with the world and I'm just a fucking asshole who sleeps on her couch.

"Ben." Diana breathes and he can practically hear her pinching the bridge of her nose. "In all the years I've known you, you've never done what you did for her with anyone else. You carried her out of that warehouse, you stayed with her in the hospital even after she woke up, you took care of her when she came home, you protected her from Darren. You can't ignore all those things."

"I'm not ignoring them. She's my friend." The word sours in his mouth as he says it. "And she would have done the same thing for me." He knew it was true.

She's a good person and she wouldn't let me chase her away if any of that shit happened to me and I told her to leave me alone.

"Yes she would. Because she cares about you." Diana sighs.

"She doesn't."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Because she's told me what she wants!" Ben shouts so loudly he can feel the room shaking. "She wants to be friends-“

"Because she doesn't think that you want a relationship you nitwit!"

"I don't." Ben spits the words before he can stop them, but as he does something tightens at the base of his throat.

"How is it that it's been forty fucking years and you're still able to dance on the grave of my last nerve?"

Ben chuckles. "I missed you too sweetheart."

She sighs into the phone again making it crackle in Ben's ear. "She needs you.” Diana repeats. “And I think you need her too.”

His temper was flaring again, the thoughts that his father pressed into him surging up before he can stop the words. “I don’t need anyone. I’m Sol-“

“If you say that you’re Soldier Boy, I’m going to reach through this phone and slap you silly.” She snaps. “And you do need her, but you’re still just too stubborn to admit it.”

“I-“

“Ben I know that everything that happened with Countess was fucked up, but my granddaughter she-“ Diana pauses before she changes the thought.  “You say that you know she’s different, but right now you’re treating her the same way you treat all those other women.”

“I’m not-“

“My granddaughter has decided you’re important to her and once that’s happened it’s hard to make her let go. You saw the way she was with Darren and that guy was a manipulative asshole. Imagine what she thinks of you.”

“I-“

“Stop making excuses!”

“You didn’t even hear what I was going to say!” Ben shouts.

“And I don’t need to! Think what you want Ben but if you’d stop acting so stubborn and so ridiculously blind to what’s right in front of you. I promise that what comes next is worth the risk.”

“Don’t go all fucking mystical on me doll.”

“And don’t go all macho- no feelings asshole on me! So stop being so damn stubborn, get on a plane and get your ass here.” She retorts. “Don’t fuck this up Benjamin because if you do I’ll fuck you up.”

The line goes dead.

Ben sat there for a minute in the silence still holding the phone up to his ear, listening to what your grandmother said to him ring around in his head for a second.

No one ever spoke to him that way. In fact, Ben had never allowed anyone to speak to him the way that she did, well, not until you came along. You reminded him so much of her that it was astounding and he wasn't going to admit that maybe it's why he liked being around you so much.

Ben frowns at what Diana said, thinking about the unusual feelings that were swirling in the pit of his stomach. He felt wrong and the feelings were odd for him. He hadn't felt anything remotely like this ever in his life, not even for Countess.

And although Ben refused to be afraid of anything, the feelings he was having scared him. He didn’t understand and he wasn't sure that he wanted to. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see where this ended up. He felt like he was in too deep.

As much as he wanted to go to you like Diana ordered him to, he wasn't sure that he should. Something was holding him back, digging it's heels in and refusing to budge.

But why do I feel like-

His phone rings and he doesn't look at the caller ID when he picks up, expecting it to be Diana again, yelling at him.

"Di I-"

But it's not Diana.

"Hello Ben. It's nice to hear your voice again." The familiar voice says, sounding calm and collected.

"What the fuck do you want?" Ben snarls.

 "I thought it was time the two of us had a chat.”

A/N: At this point Diana is really just trying to give both Ben and the reader the kick in the pants they need. And yes I know another cliffhanger, but you know you love it. 🤭😉 We are quickly reaching the end of this series, but that means the confession scene is coming and I am so excited about it!!

As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know. 😊

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @corruptedcruiser @winchesterwild78 @the-super-who-locked-wizard

@criminalyetminimal @52ndstreeet @bitchykittenconnoisseur @anna6307

@faephoria @possiblyafangirl @jqtaro @quietlybitchy @tinydancer40

@roger-that-cap @megara0224 @miskwaadesiwag @rainyeggvoidpurse

@soldiergrimes @tiffsbagels @podiumackles

@ifyouwerethemoon @ririshkin @peachhiz @fitxgrld @sukunassfinger

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @ej13928 @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @modiddys-blog

@acciosherlockholmes @minas-fantasies @fireskyy

@n-o-p-e-never @nesnejwritings @am0rem @tpwkcalli @momggn

@fitxgrld @whimsicalcherry @ladysparkles78

@spxideyver @zepskies @impala67stellawinchester

@reidtomewinchester @samanthadegaro @glossy01 @nikimisery

@tunnelvisionlove @incandxscents @winchester-stark @samahanta

@melonmochi

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@pixviee @filmologetica @yvonneeeee @c1nnamong1rl29 @kmc1989

@livya99 @cherrygirl444

[autumnrory]

i know i'm biased as they have always been my faves and the real person ships i've been most interested in but like i GET people still being larries and kaylors because there was always sooooo much evidence for it but i'll see stuff about a ship i didn't think that was big and people insisting they're still together and i'm just like what are you on about

[juniperdugong]

Relationship Quirks 95s ver.

Aka habits I can see the boys doing in a relationship || 95s || 96s || 97s || Maknae line ||

Scoups Calls you his "wife" while you guys are still dating

NOT AROUND YOU... at first but I doubt that the guys wouldn't secretly take video of him whining during practice talking about, "I miss my wife..." all pouty and everything (he saw you this morning), and NOT send it to you.

He's awkward when you bring it up because he doesn't know if you feel that way about the future of your relationship but once he knows you do feel the same way WHEW you do not hear the end of it.

Suddenly, all the reservations he makes are preceded by "Well, me and my wife...", anytime you're brought up in a conversation dude glitches out and HAS to mention you as his wife at least once (especially if it's to someone he thinks might be interested in you), and the yearning only gets worse! He'll leave for tour and after he texts his customary airplane goodbye message to you your phone will be blowing up with texts from the boys complaining about having to hear their leader practically sobbing about how much he misses his wife.

Jeonghan Steals your stuff

Has big "What's yours is mine" mentality, but don't worry! What's his is yours too! He swears it! Despite the drastic difference in how much he's using, borrowing, or straight up taking your stuff...

Let's be clear though, he never takes things he thinks you'll miss and if he finishes something of yours he always makes sure to replace it pronto. If you do get upset he makes a mental note to not mess with that particular item ever again.

Have you noticed a suspicious amount of your clothing (mainly hoodies, hats, and bags) go missing and suddenly see your boyfriend wearing them during a live? Yes. Has there been multiple arguments about this behavior? For sure! Does it absolutely warm your heart when you're at a concert and see a staff member run on stage to hand Hannie his current comfort item (a childhood toy of yours that you didn't even know was missing from your room)? Absolutely, it does. (Apologizes profusely once you find out...doesn't mean a single word of it and you know it because he's giggling the whole time)

Joshua Buys 2 of everything

Since the dawn of your relationship, Shua has gotten 2 of every item he buys. His initial reason was to get to know one another better by trying out things the other liked. This then spiraled to him doubling every single grocery item, clothes he buys, and pretty much anything he orders. Could be an insanely valuable item worth thousands that he's getting paid to promote but if there isn't a matching one for you then it's off the table. And no, he doesn't necessarily want to be "matching" all the time but he likes knowing that you guys could match whenever you wanted to.

He also gets extremely offended if you question why there's so much of everything, seriously he doesn't even want to hear it, like "Because it's ours! And we share! So we need double! Do you hate me or something!?"

"Babe, why do we have so much shampoo..." "I'm promoting it." "There's 2 of every type in here." "Yep." "We don't ne-" "We do need it." "It's too much." "I don't understand what you're saying to me right now."

A/N: The brainrot I have for these men is so real rnnnnn. I just had to separate these by years bc it was getting too long :( I'll have 96s up by today too, so stay tuned for that 96 line OUT NOW!! (Have to do it for my babe Nonu) Reblogs and Comments are much-appreciated lovelies!!

TAGLIST (open): @bemybabiibish

[katsukistofu]

my caffeine mix-up! pt. ii

contents ౨ৎ ⋆ hawks x fem reader. fluff. slightly suggestive. you accidentally pick up the number two hero’s coffee so picks you up instead. | part i

note: fukuoka is the canon location of hawks hero agency

You stare at the text for what embarrassingly feels like at least the tenth time this hour.

pick you up at 8 ;)

Was sent mere moments ago from the contact Hawks, that had several hearts next to his name that you don’t remember him putting, saved in your phone after he dropped you off at work this morning.

Nearly giving your coworkers who just so happened to be looking out the windows at the time synchronized heart attacks in their cubicles, which would’ve been very hard to explain to your boss.

Who, thank All Might, was not here today.

But the millisecond you walked out of the elevator onto your floor, their nosy natures quickly won over their states of disbelief.

Desperate for the juicy details, nothing could stop them from swarming you like a group of hungry piranhas, and you’re flooded with a sea of questions you’re simply at a loss for how to answer.

“How did you meet him?” “So when’s the wedding?” “Were you rescued in a villain attack that wasn’t on the news yet?” “Oh my god, did you two—?”

“Guys!” You cut them off with a frantic wave of your hands, you did not need to hear the end of that sentence. “We just happened to meet. I, uh.”

Your coworkers look at you with expectant eyes, eagerly waiting to hear your no doubt heart-racing meet-cute story with the hero so popular, that when the paparazzi got a picture of him sipping kombucha tea, the drink went out of stock in stores nationwide faster than you could even say its name.

“I accidentally took his coffee order.”

You cringe a bit as you finish, and you’re met with the most comically shocked faces you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

“You WHAT!?”

“Damn I literally just tweeted ‘my coworker stole Hawks’s coffee’ and it already has a hundred reposts.”

“Oh honey, you’re lucky our boss is out sick today. He’d fire you for that.”

“Yeah, Hawks is his all-time favorite on the charts since All Might.”

You groan. “I know! He was so nice about it too, I still feel bad.”

“You should be.”

All your coworkers simultaneously glare at your company’s front desk receptionist that somehow snuck up to your floor, who for some reason takes that as a signal to continue.

“I could never be illiterate enough to take his order if I was in that coffee shop.”

“No one cares, Janet,” everyone says in deadpanned unison.

Janet huffs and turns to leave, but not before pointedly throwing another withering look at you.

She never did like you ever since you politely corrected her grammar in that passive aggressive email she sent when you were a new hire.

Not illiterate your ass.

Throughout the day, you answer more emails, calls, and print papers in a daze.

When you go to forward an email, all you can think about is how his strong arms felt on your waist. When you go retrieve ink to refill the printer, all you can think about is his gentle yet firm grip that he had on your thighs.

This could not be healthy.

But what if it was? You’ve never been touched so intimately, so softly before, like you were something precious, even in your fleeting experiences with relationships.

No one’s made you feel this safe like he does from just being in their presence.

But you blame that on him being a hero. He was probably trained on how to calm civilians down, especially during rescues.

You don’t really think that applied to people who stole his coffee, but maybe that was just you trying to feel special.

With a shake of your head, you straighten yourself in your chair. You had to get it together.

No more thoughts of Hawks on company time until it’s time to clock out!

But it seems like the winged flirt had other plans.

hawks ♡♡♡ [12:00]

hey

[sent an image]

hawks ♡♡♡ [12:01]

saw a pretty flower on

someone’s roof and it

reminded me of you :)

You freeze when you see the notification pop up, mid-bite through the food that you picked up from your favorite aesthetically pleasing cafe for lunch.

With a mouthful of sandwich, you click on the message to text back, when suddenly the realization hits you.

You had no idea what to wear for the date.

Oh my god, what were you even supposed to wear? Was there some kind of etiquette for this?

I mean, it’s not like he’s taking you to the Hero Gala. It’s just a higher end homey sushi and ramen place, but still.

Pinterest probably didn’t have “cute date outfit ideas for going out with the freaking number two hero” in their search results.

In your mind, you nervously run through different casual but still elegant clothes to wear. Maybe that nice blouse you had been saving, the one with the ruffles on the sleeves? You bite the inside of your cheek. No, maybe your classy sleeveless turtleneck midi dress instead?

Ugh, but you’ve already worn it out too many times last month. Not to mention the current ninety degree weather would cook you alive in that.

You pray that the paparazzi wouldn’t dare to stalk you on your date, but imagine if they did and took a picture of you two?

Caption: Hawks takes girl that never wears anything else out on date.

Even worse, caption: Hawks seen taking girl that can’t dress if her life depended on it out on date.

Nope, not on your watch.

The further you brainstormed, the more each piece of your wardrobe seemed less and less fitting to wear for such an occasion.

An idea pops into your head.

What was Hawks’s favorite color? You could base an outfit off of that instead.

Thinking about it, it was probably red. Hell, if you had pretty crimson wings like him you’d forget every other color in the rainbow.

Should you text him and ask?

After a little mental wrestling yourself, you muster up all the courage you could possibly have on a Monday afternoon.

[12:20]

you

that’s so cute :((((

thank you <3

you

also random but what’s

your favorite color?

hawks ♡♡♡

ooh we playing twenty questions? ;)

you

lol i guess we are ;)

hawks ♡♡♡

hmmm ok then

hawks ♡♡♡

my favorite colors

probablyyy red

you

i knew it

hawks ♡♡♡

oh?

hawks ♡♡♡

been thinking about me

have you, pretty girl?

you

……..maybe

hawks ♡♡♡

you’re so cute when

you get all shy

Your cheeks warm at that, and you physically have to put down your phone for a moment to cool off.

[12:34]

hawks ♡♡♡

my turn

hawks ♡♡♡

whatcha having for lunch?

you

[sent an image]

sandwich :)

hawks ♡♡♡

ooh that looks yummy

you

it is!!!!

you

it’s from the cafe across

the one where i nabbed

your coffee lol

hawks ♡♡♡

ah when fate brought

us together by my overly

sweet latte

hawks ♡♡♡

i’ll make sure to stop by

it after patrol tomorrow :)

you

yay!!! lmk what you think

i want a full review

hawks ♡♡♡

yes ma’am (︶▽︶)7

you

what are you having for lunch?

hawks ♡♡♡

[sent an image]

just chicken lol

Of course he was. It did look good. The fried edges were perfectly crispy, and it was a nice golden brown color and—

hawks ♡♡♡

but i wish it was you instead ;)

you

!!!!!?1!?)$1&1$@-

hawks ♡♡♡

aw, you embarassed right now?

you

YESOHMYHOF???

you

YOU CANR JUST

SAY THAT

hawks ♡♡♡

whyyy nottt

hawks ♡♡♡

it’s true though! :(

you

oh my god i’m going to die

you

and this sandwich is

going to be my last meal

hawks ♡♡♡

noo don’t die

you

i will

hawks ♡♡♡

id miss you :(

you

then know that it

was all YOUR fault.

hawks ♡♡♡

pffft you're so cute

hawks ♡♡♡

wish i could see your

flustered face right now

you

STOP

you

i think i'm going to

have to block you

you

this isn’t good for my heart

hawks ♡♡♡

D:

hawks ♡♡♡

noooooooo!!!!!!

come backkkk!!

You had to bite back a fond giggle, feeling warm all over. How was it fair for him to be this cute over text and in person?

hawks ♡♡♡

okok but before you block me

which i don’t think you will

hawks ♡♡♡

send me your address so

i know where to pick up the

most beautiful girl alive <3

you

oh u smooth ass mf

hawks ♡♡♡

for you? always

you

UGHHH

fine here it is

you

123-4567 fukuoka, tenjin,

chuo ward, 8-91

hawks ♡♡♡

perfect

see you soon birdie ;)

After an eventful day at work, you’re turned around, glancing at your back in the mirror.

Even though the scarlet dress that falls just below your knees hugs your figure in all the right places, you still feel a little self-conscious in it.

You honestly haven’t touched it since you bought it at the mall with a friend, who insisted that red was your color even when you had wrinkled your nose.

But as you admire the smooth, soft fabric of it now, you can’t help but be reminded of a certain someone’s beautiful wings.

You think you were really starting to warm up to the color.

A spritz of your favorite perfume and slight touch up of your makeup later, you hear a knock on the door to your balcony.

That must be him!

You excitedly unlock the sliding glass, and you’re finally greeted with the sight of Hawks’s signature grin that you missed all day.

“Hey, pretty girl.”

“Hi,” you say back, a bit breathlessly.

As if you were the one who flew all across the city just to see him.

He takes the moment to look you up and down, not in a hungry, lustful way like you’re used to when you’re around other men, even when you’re not exposing much skin.

Hawks admires you.

Like you’re a statue of a goddess, made of the most pristine marble. Like you’re a beautiful cherry blossom tree at peak bloom, with the wind serenading your soft pink petals.

Like you’re something so divinely beautiful and enchanting, you deserve to be revered.

“Wow.” Hawks opens his mouth, but no other sound comes out. The bouquet he’s hiding behind his back for you goes limp in his hand.

For a man who never runs out of words to say, he’s been rendered speechless.

There’s a tingle of anxiety at your neck and you’re suddenly a little nervous. “How—How do I look?”

Hawks takes a deep breath, and finally speaks.

“You look absolutely, astoundingly gorgeous.”

Hawks’s lips curve upwards softly when you visibly melt, his touch sweeter than the caramel of his eyes as a hand tips your chin up to meet his warm gaze that the summer heat had nothing on. 

“And that’s the least interesting about you.”

─────────

“This is really good.”

Is what you ultimately decide when you’re on the fourth piece of the unagi roll you ordered.

Hawks grins, you looked cute with your cheeks puffed up like that. “Isn’t it? I knew you’d like it.”

You nod while covering your mouth, chewing slowly to savor the delectable taste of the sushi. “I’m literally going to gatekeep this place so hard.”

“Good.” He reaches across the table for your hand with an amused laugh. “It can just be our little spot, then.”

You softly smile back at him.

“Our little spot.”

At that moment, the waiter comes over with Hawks’s shoyu ramen. “Enjoy!”

“Thanks!” Hawks beams at him, then turns his attention to the bowl in front of him.

Then a slight frown appears on his face.

You tilt your head. “What’s wrong?”

His worried eyes meet yours.

“You sure just sushi is enough? You can always order something else, it’s on me.”

“Oh no it’s okay!” You wave a hand. “I’m not really that hungry—“

“I don’t believe you.” A hint of a teasing smile plays on his lips. “Could hear your tummy growling a bit earlier.”

“You heard that?” You whine. How embarrassing.

“All the more reason to share my ramen with me.”

Your eyes widen. “You want me to?”

“I do.” Hawks stubbornly says, picking up his chopsticks to grab noodles with them. He holds them up to your lips, a growing smirk on his handsome face.

“Say ahhh.”

Throwing a quick glance around the restaurant, your cheeks flame. “Hawks!”

“What?” He’s still wearing that casual, shit-eating grin. “It’s just us and a few other people here, c’mon.”

You huff. “I can feed myself!”

“I know you can, birdie.” Hawks holds your gaze with piercing but warm eyes. “But I want to do it.”

You fiddle with your own chopsticks, looking at anything but his eyes.

“Please? Let me take care of you.”

Finally, you cave at his pleading expression.

“Okay.”

He feeds you, and you’re not still not sure why he’s so happy to do so, but you let him.

The owner of the sushi and ramen place laughs as he looks over at the booth you two had occupied a few hours before closing.

As always, there’s a generously heavy tip left on the table and this time a new, small note.

thank you, boss :> we’ll be back!! - h

─────────

It’s summer, again.

Keigo flies you back home in his arms after his patrol and your nine to five, and as you touch down on your balcony, the sky is starting to turn a brilliant gradient of orange, pink and purple as the sun begins to dip below the horizon.

His eyes are lidded as he pulls you closer to him by the waist on the couch.

“You like when I’m this close to you?”

In the privacy of your apartment with the only sound being the breeze from your air conditioning and the faint chirping of crickets outside, it’s like the both of you are in your own little world.

“Yeah.” You sound muffled while hiding your burning face in his chest. “You still make me nervous.”

“I make you nervous?” His low voice is lilting as he tilts his head, and pulls you even closer to him with a firm hand now on the small of your back.

Keigo smirks, drinking up the sound of your little gasp. “I’m gonna take that as a yes, little dove.”

You blink dreamily, disorientated by his warmth seeping through his sleeveless turtleneck and the feeling of his firm chest against yours. He was so cozy. “Dove?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause they symbolize peace, and you’re my safe place.” Keigo’s eyes soften at the way you snuggle into him in response. He was yours too, your comfort person. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“Mmm.” You’re resting your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “Tell me again.”

“As many times as you want.” He leans down to whisper in your ear.

“You’re perfect.”

You let out a laugh, his breath was tickling your ear. “Kei, why’s your heart beating so fast when you say that?”

“Mm.” He offers you a sly smile, hand tracing circles on the small of your back as you lay on top of him.

“Guess you just do something to me when we’re together, birdie.”

Your eyes start to feel heavy, and you hug him even tighter at that.

“I’m so glad I stole your shitty excuse of a coffee that day.”

And it’s when he laughs from deep within his chest that you know he is too.

— Courtship feeding is believed to function as ceremonial pair bonding. The male bird usually feeds their female mate, and the resulting nutritional boost contributes to more and healthier offspring.

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [35] - Confessions

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: A nightclub can be a good place for confessions.

Word Count: 2400

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

You knew Bucky was trying to stay out of your way, you just knew.

Since you had first gotten married, he had never spent the night outside until tonight. When you woke up, the spot next to you was empty, so you huffed out a breath and went to the bathroom to take a shower. After that, you made your way downstairs to feed Alpine but the noise by the door made you turn your head.

Bucky hadn’t seen you just yet -he probably thought you were still asleep- and he made his way upstairs while you tilted your head, crossing your arms but keeping completely quiet in the kitchen. Even if you wanted to go upstairs after him, he didn’t take long, probably just changed his clothes and came back downstairs, stopping in his tracks when he saw you.

“Hey,” you said and he offered you a small smile.

“Hey,” he said, already making his way to the door with you following suit. “I have a meeting, I’ll see you tonight at the—”

“Bucky,” you said, your heartbeat speeding up and he froze by the door, then cleared his throat and turned to you.

“Hm?”

“Can we talk?”

“No.”

You pulled your brows together. “What? The fuck does that mean, no?”

He bit inside his cheek, averting his gaze from you.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said. “You heard what I said, so—”

“So what, we just don’t talk about it?”

Bucky paused for a moment, then nodded his head.

“Yeah,” he said. “That sounds like a good plan.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“Charm, I have this meeting—”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“It doesn’t change anything, okay?” he said. “What was I supposed to say? I was an ass to you because I took all my anger at my father and projected it onto you?”

“George never said anything to me,” you mused. “Neither did my father.”

“I doubt he mentioned it to him,” he said. “I mean…at least not until you came back from college.”

“But before that, only to you?”

Bucky pursed his lips together, still unable to look you in the eye and nodded.

“That was still an asshole move,” you pointed out and he sucked in a breath through his teeth, then nodded his head again.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck before his eyes found yours. “I’m sorry Charm. I really am, I was a dick. I never should’ve—that whole bullshit was between my father and me, you didn’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire. I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me for it, but I’ll try to…make it up to you. I’ll make sure you get that crown.”

You crossed your arms, pursing your lips and Bucky swallowed thickly, then cleared his throat.

“I’m just gonna—” he motioned at the door. “Uh, see you tonight at the club.”

With that, he walked out of the apartment and you leaned your back to the wall with a groan, pressing your palms on your eyes.

 “The club,” you muttered to yourself. “Right. Great.”

                                               *

The whole reason why you were going to the club was because of Rhett. He had mentioned wanting to go out and Clint’s brand-new club sounded perfect for the occasion, and you figured once everyone drank a little, making the deal would be much easier.

“Please tell me it’s a good club,” Rhett said as you both got your coffees and sat down to your table. The café you had picked was right across your father’s skyscraper, your surname shining against it and you heaved a sigh, then leaned back.

“One simple listener would think you don’t trust me, Rhett.”

“I flew here because I trust you,” Rhett reminded you. “Your taste in clubs however…”

“We met at a club, dumbass.”

“I’m still not convinced it was a club of your choosing, but your friends’,” Rhett pointed out, making you scrunch up your nose at him, then lightly kicked his shoe.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“What does the rest of Chicago think about you doing business with New York?”

Rhett heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his curls, his rings catching your attention for a moment.

“They don’t necessarily love the idea.”

“None of them?”

“Most of them,” Rhett said. “My father thinks it’s a terrible idea.”

“Ah.”

“Caleb—you met Caleb, he also thinks it’s a bad idea.”

“Caleb is a dick.”

“And Alice and her family as well,” he said and scoffed. “But that one has more to do with you than the business.”

“Did you tell her I’m married to Bucky?”

He hummed. “She knows,” he said. “Still thinks…”

“That you and I are going to sleep together?”

Rhett shot you a small grin. “Yep.”

“I’m not the cheating type.”

“Never thought otherwise,” he said. “One does wonder though…”

You sipped your coffee. “Wonder what?”

“If we broke up for no reason.”

You lowered your coffee cup to give him a reprimanding look.

“There was a reason,” you said. “Business.”

“You don’t think we could’ve made it work?”

“Nope,” you said. “I’m not the type to play the housewife, you know that.”

“I never asked you to do that.”

“But that’s how Chicago works,” you said with a laugh. “And I would never be a mistress either so…”

He opened his mouth to retort but before he could, someone cleared their throat behind you, making both you and Rhett turn your heads and you rolled your eyes when you saw Ian.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I just left your father in his office,” he said. “You’re not gonna go and say hi?”

“Nope, I’m busy with my guest,” you said and motioned between them. “Ian, Rhett. Rhett, this is Ian, my cousin.”

“And her father’s heir,” Ian corrected you, extending his hand and Rhett raised his brows, eyeing his hand before looking up at him with a quizzical glare. You bit back your smile and nodded at Ryan by the door before turning to Ian who lowered his hand.

“Why is an heir who’s not even a firstborn talking to me?” Rhett asked you, completely ignoring Ian and you shrugged, smirking.

“No idea. Ian?”

“I speak for my uncle.”

“I’m not talking to your uncle either, buddy,” Rhett said with a snort. “We’re in the middle of a conversation and you’re interrupting us.”

A look of surprise crossed Ian’s features before he threw his shoulders back.

“Mr. Davis, if we’re going to do business, it is important that you respect me, if my uncle hears—”

“Oh we seem to have some miscommunication here,” Rhett said. “I’m not doing business with you, or your uncle. Go tell your uncle the only person who I’ll speak to in terms of business is his daughter, and that I don’t appreciate being put in a situation where I have to talk to a second-choice heir who doesn’t even deserve a title that moves through family.”

You pursed your lips together to hold back your laughter as Ian gritted his teeth.

“I’m his nephew.”

“Not his firstborn,” Rhett stated. “Not even his spare. Back in Chicago heirs have to prove their worth, and nothing I heard about you is worth anything, Ian. So why don’t you go back to your kids table and leave the grownups to have actual conversation about business? Because unlike you, your cousin here knows what she’s talking about.”

Ian looked like he was considering saying something and Rhett tilted his head, smirking as if daring him. Ian lingered there for a moment before throwing you a glare, then scoffed.

“We’ll be in touch,” he said and stormed out of the café while you let out a giggle.

“Aw,” you mocked him. “I think you hurt your feelings.”

“Someone had to, you guys are being too soft on heirs here,” Rhett pointed out, making you laugh. “Anyway, we were saying?”

                                                 *

Clint really did have a good taste in clubs.

A couple of years earlier, you would be dancing on the dancefloor and drinking to your heart’s desire. Your father’s notorious name always worked in your favor in the city, and clubs weren’t an exception to that. With a wave of your hand, your bodyguards, -or Bucky’s, Steve’s or Sam’s- would be dragging anyone who bothered you or Becca outside, but now that you came to the clubs only to make deals, you didn’t dance or drink too much.

Rhett seemed to be in a good mood along with everyone else as he laughed at something Steve said, then sipped his whiskey while Bucky had his arm thrown over the back of the sofa you both were sitting on, and as much as you wanted to keep your conversation from earlier going, you knew you couldn’t in front of Rhett.

“So yeah he turns to me and says, ‘Chicago will not like this’ and I’m like, ‘Motherfucker I am Chicago!’” Rhett said, letting out a laugh. “Apparently this guy he was working with, he didn’t even tell him my name, just sent him there.”

“No way.”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Which wasn’t even the first time someone within my father’s ranks tried to kill me.”

“Seriously?”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Even family, once.”

“How did you get out of that?”

Rhett smiled and nodded in your direction. “You’re looking at my guardian angel there.”

Bucky raised his brows. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s a long story,” you said. “And I barely did anything.”

“No no, she had the opportunity to actually cross me after she dumped me,” Rhett said. “But she didn’t.”

“Yeah well…” you said, leaning your head to Bucky’s shoulder. “I just don’t like traitors.”

“No, loyalty is—” Rhett motioned at you. “Her loyalty is something else. So you might be the luckiest man I’ve ever met, Barnes.”

You let out a laugh while Sam tilted his head and Steve stole a look at Bucky whose jaw clenched.

“Oh he knows,” you said, squeezing Bucky’s arm. “I remind him in case he forgets.”

Bucky hummed, pressing a kiss on top of your head, nuzzling into your hair and making your heart skip a happy beat even if you knew it was for show.

“And you don’t have to look so tense man,” Rhett said with a grin. “She rejected me earlier, so…”

Your eyes widened as you looked from him to Bucky whose glare turned sharp.

“I have no problem starting a war between Chicago and New York, Rhett,” he said. “Careful now.”

Rhett scoffed a laugh. “Or what?”

“Alright, before anyone says anything they might regret,” you stopped Bucky before he could retort and stood up, tugging Bucky by the hand. “Buck, a word?”

Bucky looked like he would say no, but you led him out of the VIP room to the nearest bathroom, nodding at the girls inside.

“Out,” you said and they scurried out of the bathroom before you slammed the door behind you and turned to Bucky.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Trying really hard not to shoot your ex,” Bucky retorted. “How about you?”

“Bucky…” you said, running a hand over your face. “We are not starting a war between Chicago and New York just because you’re feeling a bit territorial—”

“A bit territorial?” he repeated. “A bit territorial? Charm, the whole reason why that asshole can still talk is because you told me not to shoot him, but if he keeps pushing his luck—”

“That’s a joke!”

“I told you though, didn’t I?” he insisted. “I told you he’s here to…fucking steal you away.”

“The fuck am I, a loaf of bread?” you snapped at him. “This is not Les Mis, no one is stealing me away, do you hear yourself?”

“Do you?” he asked. “What did he mean, you rejecting him earlier?”

You looked up at the ceiling, reminding yourself to be calm.

“He was talking about when we used to date,” you said. “And I said we couldn’t have made it work anyway, that’s it. That’s what he means.”

“But he still hopes for it.”

“We’re married, Buck,” you reminded him, “It may be because of the business, but I’m sure you remember our deal—”

“Yeah, for you maybe.”

You pulled your brows together. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Bucky.”

“It’s business for you, Charm,” Bucky spat. “Which is fine, but don’t stand there and assume that it’s the same for me, okay? You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Your frown deepened.

“You married me for business,” you said. “So that I could get to the top, so that Ian wouldn’t break the truce, so that—”

“That’s what you think, huh?” Bucky asked, a dry laugh climbing up his throat and your heartbeat sped up as you stared at him.

“Then why?” you asked back and Bucky licked his lips.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Bucky I’ve had it up here playing this fucked up game with you,” you said, your voice low. “What, you’re pretending to be jealous of Rhett—”

“Pretending?”

“Yeah and you’re bluffing to start a war over some pissing contest—”

“I’m not bluffing.”

“You’ve been avoiding me since we left the therapist’s office—”

“Charm.”

“And I want us to talk but you keep running away from whatever nonsense—”

“I’m in love with you.”

The simple sentence managed to make you stop talking, your eyes snapping up to his as you gawked at him, your mouth half open.

“I married you because I’m in love with you,” he said. “I’m willing to start a war with Chicago, with New York, with your own father, because I’m in love with you.”

Bucky loved you.

He was in love with you.

The happy disbelief pinned you to your spot while the music echoed in the bathroom, and he let out a dry laugh.

“There,” he said. “Now you can reject me and we can just—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence when you snapped out of the haze and turned around to lock the door, then made your way to him to pull him into a kiss, a pleasant warmth spreading from your chest to your whole body. He wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer, and you let out a giggle when he pulled back a little to look at you.

“You’re…you’re not rejecting me?”

“Bucky,” you said, grinning wide. “You can be such an idiot sometimes.”

With that, you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him again, a squeal leaving your lips as he lifted you and carried you to the bathroom vanity.

Chapter 36

[kykyonthemoon]

Moonlit

You're on the mission to approach a target at a banquet, and that's all it takes to drive him crazy.

🌻 Rafayel/Xavier/Zayne x F!Reader See Caleb and Sylus's parts here: Full Moon Tags: R16+, suggestive theme, MDNI, possessive, marking and biting, no established relationship This is a request by Xuanlinhh. A/N: This is my first time trying out something like this for L&D, as I don't usually write fic with suggestive theme. So I'm curious to know how I've done with this fic. Feedbacks are always appreciated. After so many titles, I decided to choose "Moonlit", since the moon represents illusion, fear, hidden things. These are the scenarios where he shows another color of his to you. Thus, in all three scenes, there are moonlight all over the place.

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𝑹𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒍

Your eyes widened when you saw the dress draped over your cotton blanket. It was long past the ankles, the shoulders were slightly bulging and hanging down to reveal the collarbone. The dress consisted of many layers of pastel pink and purple. In the afternoon sunlight, the sequins and pearls attached to it seemed to shine.

“Does he really want me to wear this?” It was a murmur to yourself. The dress was too exquisite, too expensive, too... much at least in comparison to what you would often put in your wardrobe. You did not need to become a princess, just a normal evening dress to blend in and complete the task assigned to you.

Being ignorant about high society or lavish balls, you had asked Rafayel for help. You never expected him to send you such a gorgeous dress.

Indeed, as he predicted, you became the focus of the party as soon as you arrived there.

Each party guest had a mask. Yours arrived in the same color scheme as the dress and was encrusted with opulent pearls and jewels. You wondered why Rafayel was making you look quite distinct. However, you shouldn't have had any reason to doubt him at all when your target moved toward you on his own initiative.

The target of this mission was a high-class profile from another city. Even though you tried your best to focus on the mission, you still wondered if Rafayel came here, or just his work.

The banquet area was adorned with paintings by Rafayel, so it was hard to look at them and not think about him. Had he made it in yet? Would he abandon you here, trapped in a conversation with a stranger?

Using the skill of pretended intimacy in order to obtain information was something you had learned from your training courses. You put a hand on the target's, smiling and talking as if you were fascinated by him. After getting the information you needed, you made an excuse to leave, but it did not appear like things would finish so simply.

He grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you back to your seat. You shouted, but the music and laughter drowned you out. You aimed at the middle of his face and was about to throw a punch, only to have an arm wrapped over your shoulder and holding your back.

“It seems like this lady doesn't want to be here anymore.”

You knew right away that voice, and that scent were as familiar as a field of wild roses. You turned around and saw Rafayel standing next to you. His hand held your shoulder to help you stand up. Suddenly your heart was filled with joy to see him.

Your target still refused to let go, but when he realized Rafayel's face was not covered by the mask, he knew that was someone he could not meddle with.

He said something to Rafayel in a foreign language and then walked away. You looked at Rafayel, grateful:

“Rafayel…”

Before you finished speaking, you were tugged out of the banquet room by him.

The quiet garden was awakened by the footsteps of two people. From behind, you couldn't see Rafayel's face, only his broad shoulders covered in a dark-colored tuxedo with sequins. You had the strange impression that he was furious. Perhaps it was his pressure that caused your wrist to get crimson. He guided you through a labyrinth of plants and stone sculptures.

“Rafayel.”

He only stopped when you called his name, but still did not turn to look at you. You stepped forward to observe him. You took a step forward to study him. A frown could be seen plainly on his forehead as his face pouted.

“Rafayel? What's the matter?"

His gaze grew gloomy. His hand holding yours tightened even more as he pulled it up to touch his cheek.

“…”

His abrupt movement confused you. He buried his face in your palm, took in a deep breath and gave you a bite.

“Rafayel!”

You let out a cry of surprise instead of agony since the bite was rather faint. He took advantage of your vulnerability to wrap his arms around you, forcing your body to touch his.

His lips placed on your palm a kiss where it had just been bitten, then slid down to your wrist. You made an unsuccessful attempt to flee. He gave you another glance, or rather studied every strand of lace and fabric of the garment that embraced your upper body.

“I made a terrible mistake sending this dress to you. Too graceful. Too desirable…”

The moon, round like a silver disk overhead, provided the sole light in the labyrinth. Rafayel continued to rub his face on your hand, his face appearing and disappearing in an instant.

“He touched you here…” Rafayel whispered. He kissed your wrist and palm again, fiercely like a storm.

“You… What are you doing?…”

Your heart beat was so incessant. It might have been an overdose of alcohol that caused your arms and legs to feel so weak. Rafayel let go of your hand, just to rub his head on your shoulder. His fingers sank into your hair, causing your mask to fall off. You caught his heavy breathing close to your ear, his breath caressing your uncovered neck and collarbone.

“What about here?”

Rafayel asked, then he bit your neck, causing your body to squirm in agony.

“N-No! Rafayel!”

You tried to push him away, but the more you resisted, the more Rafayel tightened his hold on you. His lips sucked into your ear.

"Here?"

“I… I was just talking to him… That's all!”

"Good." He said, leaving your neck covered in crimson kiss marks. Moist. Burning. Exposed under the moonlight. "You won't be touched by that filthy hand ever again. Not in the slightest... I promise it."

A crazy thought suddenly crossed your mind. You had never seen this side of Rafayel. It frightened you, and also invited you to explore further.

“What... are you going to do?…” You asked in a daze. With your head whirling, you sought to Rafayel's powerful arms for support.

“With him? You shouldn't be worried about that guy. What you should be worried about is the things that will happen to you right now.”

“Rafayel, you—!”

He nipped you on the neck, then planted another kiss where he could hear your nearly deranged heartbeat—deeper beneath your collarbone.

You took deep breaths. Rafayel straightened up and gazed down at you, euphoric in his arms. The bite marks and kiss marks were intertwined like a work of art he had left on you. Similar to the garment you were donning, they served as a reminder to others that you belonged to no one, but him.

𝑿𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒓

The melodious music led the couples back and forth according to a set pattern. Every step, every movement was perfectly planned. Only eyes were not so easily controlled.

Yes, you had been looking at that man in the white attire ever since the music started and you were escorted to the center. His hair as bright as starlight at night stood out in the ballroom. And no matter where he was, you would find him in a blink. Even with the silver mask covering half of his face.

And, he also looked at you. There was a hint of sorrow and a tinge of rage in his eyes. Did you delude yourself like that? Or was he really looking at you and wishing that the person each of you were guiding through music was the other?

Carelessly, your heel stepped on your partner's foot. You said in embarrassment:

“My apologies… How clumsy I am.”

The man said there was no problem, and you continued dancing. This was the target you must approach for the day's mission. You turned back to face Xavier. He was also leading another person in the dance. Another target.

Due to the importance of this mission, neither you nor Xavier must show any negligence. But in the midst of this lavish masquerade, what you wanted the most was to leap into Xavier's arms. You could dance until dawn, if it was with him.

You forced the stray ideas out of your mind. You needed to focus. Extremely. You turned back to your dance partner, who did not seem to notice anything unusual. You pulled him closer and your hand on his shoulder slid down slightly.

A grin came across his grim mask to greet you. You caught a glimpse of the other side, Xavier's face tightening. Almost at once, his dance partner intentionally fell into his arms.

Fortunately, you had a mask on as well. Otherwise, your unpleasant glance would be visible to everyone in this room, including him.

You leaned your head slightly on your partner's shoulder. But you still kept an eye on Xavier. He was also observing your every move. Every time the other girl became close to Xavier, you did the same thing to your dance partner. This was supposed to be a mission, but it ended up being such a ridiculous competition.

One more dance and you got what you needed from the target. You made up an excuse and sneaked out onto the balcony alone. The starry sky loomed above you, and the aroma of flowers and grass bathed in night dew calmed you down. You removed your mask and set it on the railing. At that moment, a powerful hand was wrapped around your waist and gently squeezed.

You were startled. But immediately, you realized that the hand belonged to Xavier. He was approaching you from behind. He approached you from behind. His breath, which carried the delicate aroma of wine and cinnamon, breathed into your hair, before gradually sliding down the back of your neck, sending you slight trembles.

“Xavier?…What are you doing?…”

The mask he was still wearing tapped against your bare back exposed to the moonlight, causing you to shiver. Gently, Xavier laid kisses on it.

“Xavier!…” Your body was slightly bent, but his hand on your abdomen held you up. His other hand was around your neck, stabilizing you in that posture. A series of hasty kisses covered your back and shoulders. You bit your lip, waiting for him to speak while silently relishing the heated sensation radiating from the places where his lips met.

A little later, the hand holding you eased somewhat. You took that opportunity to turn around to face Xavier.

You could tell, even through the mask, he was hurt. He did not say a word, just looked at you like a puppy abandoned in the rain. You let out a soft sigh, wrapped your arms over his head to remove the mask. You pressed your palm against his cheek.

“Why did you do what you just did…” Your cheeks flushed, and you were certain that your back was now coated with traces of his. Xavier drew you back into his arms, grasping your hips once more.

“This mission…” He paused for a moment. “It's really too much for me.”

“Don't you like it, dancing intimately with such a beautiful girl?”

The scene of him holding someone else in his arms was enough to upset you. But it went both ways to Xavier, who was not able to hold his feelings any longer. To your surprise, he lifted you up and placed you on the railing. You felt guilty for unintentionally triggering Xavier's fury.

"I don't enjoy it one bit." Xavier replied bluntly. “Because, there is only one girl I have my eyes on in this universe and she is right in front of me.” His chilly fingers moved from your hip to your shoulder, then your neck. “I don't want anyone else to touch her.”

Before you could say anything, Xavier clasped your lips in a passionate kiss, sending your head spinning.

“No one else… but me…” Xavier whispered in very short pauses, then buried himself again in your embrace and scorching kisses.

𝒁𝒂𝒚𝒏𝒆

The high society banquet in Linkon City was truly a remarkable event. You also prepared meticulously for that day, as your latest mission needed you to meet a target at that party.

You had done quite well during the first two hours of the event. You looked graceful in a luxurious, tight-fitting black velvet dress, with long sleeves and a thigh-high slit. You spoke, laughed, drank, and danced with your target, and everything went perfectly until you noticed a familiar figure standing in the corner of the room, observing.

The guests were all wearing masks, and from such a distance, you wondered whether you were wrong. He would dislike such events. But you couldn't shake the feeling that you were being watched, attentively, by someone you knew well.

After completing the mission, you sneaked out through the path least noticed. Your feet hurt from dancing too much in high heels. So you pulled them off and wandered barefoot across the calm garden at night. The dew-soaked grass made your feet chilly, but it also provided a soothing and delightful feeling.

You sat and settled by the fountain. You removed your mask and threw it on the grass next to the shoes. Your feet had begun to swell. You stretched them out, placed your hands on the fountain, and elevated your face, allowing the silver moonlight to beam down on you as you felt relaxed and relieved after finishing your work for the day.

The sound of shoes treading on the grass jolted you awake. When you opened your eyes, you saw a figure standing between you and the moonlight, clothed in a flawlessly fitting black tuxedo. That was who you had suspected all along.

“Zayne?”

You called his name, and he took off his mask.

“It's really you!” You exclaimed, happy and astonished. "I didn't think you would attend events like this."

Zayne's face hardened, indicating seriousness. He examined you thoroughly, from your somewhat unkempt hair to the garment that clung to your body, displaying your curves and the bare thigh beneath it. He gently leaned down, one knee resting on the grass. His chilly palm touched your ankle, startling you.

“Z-Zayne!”

He gave you a glance, implying that you should remain still. His large thumb brushed over the irritated skin on your leg. Cool and comfy, as if being iced. You knew it was Zayne using his Evol.

“Seeing me here, are you surprised?”

You nodded; all words had vanished once Zayne touched you.

“I was invited. If I hadn't come, I probably wouldn't have caught you doing—"

He left the sentence incomplete without glancing at you.

"Caught me doing what?"

"…Nothing."

He tilted down and focused on rubbing your feet with all the gentleness that made you feel both comfortable and tickled.

“I think… my foot is fine now.”

Despite the fact that Zayne's Evol should have kept you cold, your body began to heat up. You were about to alter your posture to sit up straight, but he grabbed your ankle.It appeared so little in his massive, covered in scars hands.

"Be still." He whispered quietly. "Where do you want to go with feet like this?"

"I… have to go back to HQs to report for today's mission…" You made up an excuse. As soon as you left the banquet room, you sent all of the information to the headquarters.

"Mission? Is that the reason why you were intimate with that guy?”

Zayne gazed into your eyes. His face did not exhibit much expression, but his eyes were perplexing. Could it be that he was uncomfortable when he noticed you being close to someone else at the party?

Having hit the nail on the head, you pushed forward. You slipped your bare foot forward until it reached his chest.

"Maybe. But that man was really interesting. He's a doctor, too. Strangely, I was more interested in speaking with him than with some other doctors I knew."

Zayne's expression worsened. His hand shifted from your ankle to your foot, gripping firmly.

"Don't mess with me."

A giggle escaped your so red lips. “Or else? What would Dr. Zayne do to me?”

Zayne frowned. He gazed at your foot, which was still on his body. He softly stroked it and said:

"You're drunk."

"It seems so." You laughed again. Your toes started moving purposely against Zayne's chest. He grabbed them and to your surprise, he placed a kiss on the middle of your feet.

“Zayne!?”

You were so bewildered that you almost fell into the fountain. Zayne grabbed your leg and swiftly positioned his other hand behind you to support your back. Suddenly being so close to each other sent you a panic attack. You sensed a fresh scent like snow and wood emanating from his body. The sound of your heart beating was so loud that he could hear it clearly without a stethoscope.

He glanced at you for a minute before carefully returning to his former posture. His hand left your body, leaving you a little dissatisfied. As if reading you, he leaned forward again. One hand clutched the base of the fountain, exactly near to your hip, and almost immediately, you heard the sound of the water freezing, followed by silence. His other hand kept your leg tight to his torso. Long fingers caressed your calf and thigh. You trembled at the cold he delivered, but it was promptly followed by a tingling sensation throughout your body.

"Do you really like talking to him more than me?"

Zayne asked quietly. The hand that was sliding down your thigh came to a halt at the end of the dress's slit and then tightened, prompting you to cry out unintentionally.

Seeing your helpless reaction and crimson cheeks, a satisfied smile appeared from the corner of Zayne's mouth.

“I guess what you mean to say is, no.”

"You…"

You could feel Zayne's heat wrapping around your legs, in the place where your skin was exposed to the moonlight, then running all over your body. You sat still so he could continue to draw close, his lips gently brushing the corner of your lips provocatively.

“Now you will have to bear the consequences for teasing me.”

[unyandere]

YANDERE CLASSMATE X READER WHO SECRETLY SHIPS HIM WITH ANOTHER CLASSMATE

Tw: bad English, not really good (sorry), shipping, kinda chaotic to be honest, people making assumptions

Want some more unyandering in your life? Here’s the MASTERPOST for you ✨✨

You were nomming at your pencil while looking at those two.

They were two of your classmates, two not too bad looking guys who just looked too close to be just friends.

When they arrived at school they held hands, during break they shared snacks and even during gym class they were always close, helping each other out.

There was only one reason for two guys to do such close contact activities without making weird comments, you thought: they must have been lovers.

For how much time, though, you did not know.

In the meanwhile one of the guys you were looking at was sweating, noticing your oh so lovely staring as he dreamed of you, who maybe were looking at him because of his handsomeness, maybe asking him out.

Well, at least he hoped you were looking at him, but you could also be looking at… that other guy.

He was only close to that guy because he offered the perfect cover for taking photos of you: he wasn’t too big so, whenever your Yandere wanted to take photos with you in the background, he just had to position his friend close to you and shoot the photo.

Obviously, it was hard being his friend, he was clingy, kinda annoying and always forgot his food so, to keep up the charade, your Yandere classmate always had to give him food, trinkets and whatnot.

But, if he was somehow an obstacle that your Yandere classmate had to overcome in order to get to you, well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be a problem to *dispose* of him… even eternally.

If possible, though, he would have preferred to not have to use such drastic measures.

One day, your Yandere classmate, still in doubt about your attraction to him or his “friend”, decided that he had to approach you.

He took his chance when he saw you searching for your pencil that had fallen under your desk.

He took the pencil, gave it to you and nonchalantly asked: “I often see you looking at my friend and me… Is there anything you wanted to ask to either of us?” He put the emphasis on ‘Me’ hoping to get asked out, but you just laughed.

“Oh yeah, I just wanted to say that you guys are really really cute together! But, if it’s not too personal, for how much time have you two been together?” You asked innocently with a bright smile.

Your Yandere classmate felt as if the world Collapsed on him…

You couldn’t be serious…

He tried to recompose himself and smiled forcefully.

“My… what now? We are just friends!” He exclaimed, fake laughing.

“Oh come on, man!” You patted him on his shoulder “I know what you are, ya can’t lie to me!”

In his head, your Yandere classmate was just… kinda desperate.

This was way worse than you having a crush on his friend.

“No, really, I’m not into him!” He said as He tried to explain himself.

You smiled at him, trying to look as trustworthy as possible.

“You don’t have to pretend to be straight with me, man! I’m not homophobic or anything like that!” You tried to confort him “I really really support your relationship with him! If you need anyone to talk to if you have… ya know… problems with other people laughing at you… just come to me! I’ll mess them up so badly they will never dare to look at you or your partner again!”

Now, your Yandere classmate would be kinda touched by your being a really decent human being if it wasn’t that you were kinda very wrong.

Like, extremely wrong.

Like, you couldn’t be further from the truth.

So, he looked at you, showed a pained smile and said “You got it wrong… he is not my partner…”

And so you launched him THE STARE.

“He is… your side-chick, no… that’s for girls… side-buddy?” You asked, kinda shocked.

Your Yandere Classmate was losing hope in all of humanity the more you spoke.

He sighed “no, no he isn’t my side-buddy… I am in no way in love with him, to be more honest, I would prefer to eat a thousand ghost chilly peppers while drinking hot sauce in a Mexican restaurant than to even share a single kiss with him”

You looked at him “Damn man, I know you kinda look like you are in the closet, and the closet is made of see trough glass, but you don’t have to mask your love so much! I already told you! I accept you and your partner and I will do my best to help you two to have a long peaceful and happy relationship with no homophobes able to annoy you two lovebirds!”

He sighed and looked at you “I don’t love him, I love you”

You laughed at him and patted him on his shoulder “sure thing pal… oh wait! You need someone to act as you “cover”?! Oh yeah that must be what you’re asking me! And my answer is ‘Sure thing man’! Anything to help you two lovebirds to get together!”

He blinked at you, confused “my… “cover”?” He repeated slowly.

You nodded at him while laughing “yeah, your cover! So that you can fake having a girlfriend while being able to date your prince in shining armour, and your parents won’t suspect a thing!”

At that point, he just… kinda gave up on making you think he wasn’t in love with his friend.

There was no way you’d ever believe him and so he accepted the “cover girlfriend thingy”.

[faeome]

His

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader.

Summary: Anakin gets jealous when he sees you talking to Obi-wan. Word count: 2.6k Warnings: 18+ only! Mean!Anakin, choking, inappropriate use of force, spanking, bit of degradation, pet names, overstimulation, P in V, creampie, aftercare.

It wasn’t a surprising fact that Anakin was a jealous person. Growing up with nothing, he liked to know that he had something that was truly his. In this case you. He had been obsessed with you from the moment he first saw you. At first, he tried so hard not to break the Jedi code, but you just would not leave his mind. It all started with stolen kisses that seemed harmless back then. Anakin had a strong willpower and he would not let you break down his walls so easily. Or so he thought… Well, here you were now.

Your relationship was complicated, to say the least. Since both of you were Jedi, you were prohibited from attachment. That did not stop you from sneaking into each other’s rooms at night, when everyone was asleep though.

Obi-wan had just returned from the mission, so like a good friend, you decided to greet him. It was nothing special, just you making sure he was okay, and him cracking jokes about how Anakin was staring daggers at him.

You had not told Obi-Wan about your secret relationship with his apprentice, but it did not take a detective to figure it out. If he knew, He was quiet about it. Though, you knew he was against Anakin breaking the rules.

He would often try to get Anakin to open up about you, but he never succeeded. Anakin thought that Obi-Wan was secretly in love with you, and no matter how hard you tried to convince him that he just cared about you as a friend, he just would not accept that. For this reason, any mention of your name from his master got him irritated.

“If looks could kill, I’d be dead right now.” Obi-Wan’s voice broke you out of your thoughts

“Huh?” You replied, not realizing what he was hinting at.

“Anakin. He has been staring at me like he wants to murder me since I got here.” He explained.

“Oh,” You feigned innocence. “Is there a reason for that? Did you fight over something or-” Your blurt was cut short when you felt a cold metallic hand on your shoulder. It was Anakin.

“Your master is looking for you.” He said in a cold tone, not even looking at your face.

“What? I was just with him and he said I was free-”

“Well, you can just go and check it out since you don’t have anything better to do anyway.” He replied sarcastically, staring at Obi-Wan, who was just looking at you two, clearly amused.

You rolled your eyes, irritated at his tone. He spoke like the whole damn galaxy belonged to him.

“Well, see you later, then.” You told Obi-Wan, happy that his interrogation about you and Anakin was over, but annoyed about your master.

———————————————————————

It was already evening now. After you found out that your master was gone on a mission, and there was no way he could have wanted to see you, you were fuming. Anakin had once again lied to you and you believed it, without a doubt. You were sick of this. You were sick of his little games, and this was the last straw. That is why you decided that it was a good idea to go to his headquarters at a late hour and confront him.

You harshly opened his door, not bothering to knock. The room was dark and if you did not feel him in the force, you could have thought that he was not there.

“Anakin?” You harshly called out. He did not reply.

Once your eyes got used to the darkness, you could make out a figure standing. He was looking out of the window.

“Stop ignoring me. You are acting like a child,” you started.

You saw him turn around and heard a low chuckle, which sent goosebumps down your spine.

“Am I?” He said calmly, a little too calmly for your liking.

You turned on the bedroom lamp to see him better, the warm lightning making his face more angelic than ever. Has he always been this beautiful?

“Why did you lie to me?” You felt the anger rushing back to your body. “Do you think that you can just manipulate me at any moment? You think that I’m- I-,” You knew that you were shouting at him, but you did not care.

“That you are what?” Anakin asked.

You did not reply, not being able to form a sentence from the anger.

Anakin looked down at you, staring into your eyes. “That you are a dumb little bitch, who would let anyone touch her? Would you let Obi-Wan touch you the way I do, huh? Would you let him fuck you?” His voice was laced with venom.

Your face turned red from anger, did he really think so low of you?

You did not realize what was happening when you slapped him in the face with all your strength. The slap echoed in the silence of the room.

Anakin touched his face where you had slapped him, looking down at you with a sinister gaze. He grabbed your arms, roughly shoving you into the wall.

“Do that again.” He growled in your ear. “I dare you to do that again and see what happens Y/N.” He repeated.

His body was against you, pressing you against the wall so you could not move. He let go of your arms, easily taking your wrists into his metallic hand and holding them behind your back.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Anakin grabbed your face with his flash hand, squeezing your cheeks roughly and making you tilt your head upwards so you could look at him.

“You do not talk back to me. You do what I tell you to do, and you never ever slap me again.” He lowered his head to your ear. His voice sent goosebumps down your spine, making you wet. You were not gonna give in that easily, though. You were still so angry at him.

“Fuck you.” You said, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“Oh, you will sweetheart,” he replied.

“Fuck you Anakin,” You repeated. “You don’t tell me what to do. We aren’t even together.” You saw him clench his jaw at that. “I can do whatever I want to do. And if I want to fuck Obi-Wan, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do, or maybe I already did. Maybe I fuck him. What are you gonna do about it?” You heard him chuckle. That was not a good sign.

He suddenly stopped, turning ever so serious.

“You fuck him, huh? Is that true?” He questioned you and you could feel him trying to get in your mind with his force. You were not weak though, you were gonna resist.

“Maybe it is, so what?” Anakin did not seem amused anymore, he was staring down at you angrily, like a predator.

“Listen Ani…” you started to explain, not wanting to go too far when you felt a pressure on your throat. He was choking you with the force. You opened and closed your mouth, desperately trying to breathe, but Anakin did not seem fazed at all. He looked amused like this was entertaining to him. The pressure was only getting stronger and you felt the strength leaving your body.

“A-Anakin p-please,” you begged him.

He took advantage of your weakened state and forced his way into your mind. You felt him digging dip in your thoughts and only when you felt like passing out did he let go.

You fell on the floor, once his strong hands were not supporting your weight anymore. Your breaths came out shallow. Your throat was burning and you were almost shaking. You tried to stand up, but your legs felt like jelly.

Anakin came towards you and looked down at your disheveled state. “You are a bad girl. You know that, right?” He crouched down and touched your chin to make you look up at him. “Speak when you are spoken to,” he growled.

“I know.” You replied weakly.

“Good.” He sat on the bed. His legs were spread widely and you could see his sculpted chest from his half-open robe. “C’mere,” he said softly patting his lap.

You stood up and went towards him, standing between his legs. His head was at the level of your chest and you could see him looking at you passionately.

"Well, you need an invitation?” He tugged on your wrist making you sit on his lap. You could feel his hard dick pressing into your ass. “You were talking big just a few minutes ago. What happened? Cat got your tongue?” He was taunting you.

“Shut up, Anakin.” You managed to say.

“I’d watch my language if I were you, doll.” He replied and opened your shirt, tossing it on the floor. His flesh hand was wrapped around your waist tightly, so you could not move. You were not wearing a bra, so he did not waste any time. He started sucking and biting on your nipples, making you hiss. “ ‘M gonna need you to lie down with your ass up.” He said with a final slap on your hardened nipples.

“No, I don’t want to.” You protested.

“I never asked if you wanted it, now, did I?” He replied, hinting for you to lay down.

You did as you were told. You laid on his legs and arched your waist a bit. You knew what was gonna happen and you were guilty to admit that it excited you.

He lifted up your skirt and tore your soaked panties with his metallic hand. “Count,” he ordered and you knew better than to resist.

You could not stop yourself from screaming out when you felt his metallic hand connect with your bare ass. “fuck” you cursed.

“Watch your fucking language.” Anakin warned you. “And fucking count, do not make me say it again.”

“one,” you murmured. You could feel the smirk that was glued on his face. You jumped at every slap, your ass was stinging and you were sure it was bruised.

“Twenty,” Your eyes were tearing and you were breathing as if you ran a damn marathon.

“Such a good girl,” he praised, smoothing your reddened ass. He finally let you go. You were now sitting on his leg, his one hand around your waist again, his metallic one teasing your entrance. His cold fingers started circling your clit slowly.

“You are so damn wet. Does me spanking your ass turn you on?” You whimpered. “I asked you a question.”

“You turn me on Ani, no one else but you.” You tried to reach his face, but he roughly grabbed your hand. “You were such a bad girl, doll. You don’t get to touch me unless I say you can.” You sighed.

"On the bed now! On your knees.” He ordered. You did as you were told, getting on your knees on the bed and arching your back. You could hear him taking off his clothes and you involuntarily clenched your legs together, getting even wetter if that was possible.

He grabbed your hair, shoving you down on the bed so you could not move. You could feel the tip of his cock teasing your entrance and you closed your eyes, getting ready for the sensation.

His metallic hand was on your hip, his grip so hard that you were sure it would bruise. He slammed his hips into yours, entering you in one swift motion, without a warning. You yelped, trying to pull your head up a bit, but his grip was stronger, not letting you move.

“Shit,” he moaned, fastening the pace.

“Ani, slow down, please,” You begged, but to no avail.

“Shut your mouth” he growled, making you clench around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight." Both of you were moaning in sync.

“Ani, I’m close,” you moaned out, trying to hold your orgasm.

“Don’t fucking cum,” he ordered, emphasizing his words with a brutal slam of his hips.

You tried so hard not to, but it was too much. His big dick was hitting your cervix every time he moved his hips and the sounds he made were turning you on even more. With a loud moan, you came around his cock, your walls pulsating around his thick length.

“Shiiit,” he drawled. “I told you not to fucking cum, but you just don’t listen, do you?” He gripped your neck and pulled you up, pressing your back against his chest. The new position made his dick reach even further inside you and you were so full of him that you felt like passing out. His flash hand was around your neck, choking you. His other hand was massaging your breasts roughly. He was pounding into you like an animal in heat.

“A-Anakin, s’ too much, slow d-down.” Your eyes were filled with tears from the overstimulation. He was choking you so hard that you could hardly speak.

“Shut up,” he whispered in your ear, sucking on your pulse point. “Your heart is hammering doll, this must be hard for you.” He pointed out. You just moaned as an answer. “Being left at my mercy like this, not being able to resist me, to stop me,” he continued, tightening his grip on your throat even more.

He was everywhere, touching you in every place. It was all too much. You had no strength left. Your head was slumped against his shoulder and all you could do was moan. You could feel a heat gathering in your core again. You wished you could touch his face, but you knew better than that.

“You can touch me.” He whispered in your ear, biting on your earlobe.

“Get out of my head,” You panted, embarrassed that he knew what you were thinking about.

“Your thoughts are just too loud.” He smirked, snapping his hips harder into you.

You softly touched his face, your fingers tracing the scar on his eyebrow. “I’m gonna cum,” you moaned.

“Shit, me too,” Anakin agreed. He was still hammering into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum inside you.” You moaned at his words.

He tilted his head towards you and kissed you hungrily. His tongue was into your mouth, exploring every inch of it. You bit his lip making him hiss.

“Tell me you love me.” He panted, looking at you with an intense gaze.

“I love you Anakin, more than anything. I really do.”

He closed his eyes, focusing on your words. “Say that again.”

“I love you so much,” you repeated, your cheeks reddening.

“You’re mine, only mine.” He moaned into your ear. you nodded.

“Say it.” He ordered.

“I’m yours Ani. I want only you, no one else, but you.” You could feel your walls clenching at the confessions. The second orgasm was way more intense than the first. Anakin followed you, his dick twitching, painting your walls white. He kissed you, swallowing your moans.

When he pulled out, you collapsed on the bed. You were so tired, that you could hardly open your eyes. You could feel the cum leaking out of your hole, but you did not care. Anakin lay beside you. He was spooning you. Your back was against his bare chest and his hand was protectively wrapped around your waist. He started playing with your hair.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked in a low tone.

“No… well, yeah, but in a good way, I guess,” you replied. He hummed.

“I hate when you talk to him,” He confessed, hinting at the earlier conversation you had with Obi-Wan.

“I know, Ani, but he’s my friend. You can’t prohibit me from doing so.”

“yeah, I know,” he said and kissed your temple. “that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.”

you sighed at his stubbornness.

“Next time though, if I see you chitchatting with him, I’m gonna fuck both your holes so hard that you won’t be walking for a week.”

“Is that a promise Skywalker?” You turned to him raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, it is,” he smirked.

______________________________________________________________

A/N: Part two? 👀 Also, requests are open so feel free to send some in...You can see who I write for in my masterlist. As always, feedback is appreciated.

[serejae]

I LOVE YOU, IM SORRY. | C.SC

pairing : seungcheol x reader

WHAT !! : in which youre unsatisfied with the way you treated seungcheol throughout your relationship, but destiny will always bring you back….right? (or in which you messed up your relationship with him and the 4 times you tried to fix it and the 1 time it worked out)

warnings: so self indulgent, if ur my ex bby i know we’re still contacted but come back 💔💔💔💔 readers a ass in the beginning, open ending

w.c : 2872

a/n : i never really see angst where the reader messes up and i decided to display it with my experience el oh el . hope you all enjoy

-

you laid in bed beating yourself up for the nth time. youve been in a rotation of screaming into your pillow, walking around the house, and journaling (or at least attempting to) but you still cant get the guilt and regret off your shoulders

its been almost 2 years since, since the argument, since the day you ended things, since the day you ran away afraid of hurting yourself and let alone him even more than you already did.

everyone you know has told you to move on because theyre sure he already has too but its harder said than done, how could you go on with life knowing you hurt someone who was so willing to give you everything you wanted because of your own selfishness

and as bad as it sounded, you hoped he’d reach out first as desperate as you wanting to catch up so you can show him the new version of you. the version who was ready to commit, a better person, willing to love him correctly. not crazy or stupid like the one before, the one he had the unfortunate case of dating

so now youre stuck in this 3 activity cycle because no one wants to hear you mope about your asshole tendencies to seungcheol, youve sent him a couple messages apologizing and hoping to be civil to which he replied accepting every single one a couple hours later

why wasnt it enough though?

its because you wanted more, and you knew it. you wanted him to reply immediately and accept your apology as well as begging you to come back because you knew not even deep

down, straight foward youd accept it

you longed for his ‘good mornings’, ‘i miss you’, ‘i love you’’s that you took for granted

all because of that one day (s)

you decided that this cycle of wanting ends now, all these cowardly attempts will stop. so you grabbed your coat and put on your shoes and drove to his place

to make up for that night and those days

-

“i just dont understand why you wont talk to me whenever you feel a certain way instead of running away” seungcheol sighed as he ran his hands through his hair as he sat on the couch watching you pace around the living room

“what part of ‘i dont want to’ do you not get” you raised your voice slightly as you paused to stand infront of seungcheol

“i dont get it because i love you.” he replied calmly as he reached to grab your hand and caressing it. and as he looked up at you you saw it in his eyes, the longing for those 3 words you never said back to him. he was always patient with you, the first time he said ‘i love you’ to you he saw the hesitation and understood, he allowed you go at your own pace until you felt ready. but it got to a point, a point where he started to doubt himself and to a point where you could read it.

“i…i cant.”

its not like you didnt love him, you loved him more than anything, more than yourself

and thats what scared you

you know the saying “you cant love someone until you love yourself”?

bullshit.

he was the reason you forgot you hated yourself because you were so inlove with him

and your pride was the one thing holding you back from facing the fear

“what?” seungcheol said pulling you out of your thoughts

you looked back at him to see his eyebrows furrowed

“you cant say you love me or you cant love me?” his tone became a bit more furrious

you didnt say anything, just stood there which was the first mistake you realized you made throughout this relationship out of the many

“im willing to wait for you yn, because i love you. i love you so much, i never want to rush you to tell me you love me back but its been almost months now. im starting to doubt myself”

you didnt know how to process his words, not knowing how to comfort him you did what you did best

leave.

“this is too much for me” thats all you managed to get out before you left the house without looking back

you heard his protest as you left but they went ignored, like how seungcheol felt in your relationship

-

seungcheol stood there watching the door close. he never understood how people could be so shocked they freeze but now that he was experiencing it first hand he didnt know what to do

should he run after you?

leave you alone?

was this the end between you two?

this couldnt be, you wouldnt let a small argument get between you two

right?

-

the first time reaching out.

seungcheol had reached out to you, it was about a week since you left the house without deciding if you two were actually over

he spent each day opening the message app and clicking on your contact name hoping he’ll see the 3 bubbles letting him know you were still thinking of him

so when he was finally fed up with it he sent you a message hoping itll give you a change of heart, he wanted you to know he didnt mean any of the bad things he said and that he still cares for you

“hi, i hope this finds you well but uhm i just wanted to know where we stand. im sorry if i overwhelmed you the last time we saw each other but i really want us to work out, you mean a lot to me and i love you, so much. but i cant keep hanging onto this silence from you. text me back when you can? i love you, and im sorry”

read

you had woken up from your pity nap to his message and spent the entire following week fighting the thoughts in your head

if you replied and told him you wanted to come back, youd still be in doubt about yourself and cause more trouble for the both lf you guys, but if you replied and told him you didnt want to get back together, itll cause a very strange and awkward tension between you two so just ignored the message and left him wondering

now that you think about it, it was a horrible idea but you didn’t know how to solve this. you didnt want to bring more pain to him but you couldnt bring pain to yourself either

so you stared at the message he sent a month later

“i waited for a month and im assuming we’re over? it sucks but i respect your decision. i hope you find someone for you, thank you for the memories we’ve had you’ve been good to me. i love you and im sorry for not being enough”

read

laying on your bed wrapped in a blanket resting on your side the tears fell on your phone. you didnt want him to think he wasnt enough when it was the opposite way around, but its too late now. all you could do was hope he found peace

-

seungcheol sat on the couch and sighed resting against it as he opened up the message only to see read for the nth time. was it really over between you two? is he never gonna be able to wake up to your face again?

maybe thats the way life goes

he just pushed his luck a little too much

-

the second time reaching out

its been a couple months, you kept his last messages in your ‘recent messages’ on your texting app. so each time you opened to text someone you still saw his contacy name with the words “i waited over a month….” underneath. youd be lying if you said it didnt hurt but it did, it stung that you let go of one of the best people in your life

so out of impulse, instead of texting your bestfriend a reply to her latest message you clicked on his name

“cheol 🩶”

“this is really sudden but i cant help but still feel guilty. i shouldve been better and replied to you but i was really scared. i was scared of hurting you and myself but im sorry, im sorry for not reaching out sooner, im

sorry for being a dick, im sorry for not being a good partner. i hope youre doing good and i wish you the best”

you held your breath as you sent it. it took you about a hour constantly rephrasing the words. you didnt want it to sound too lengthy or too short. you wanted to sound sincere but not that you longed for him even though you did.

took him exactly 3 hours and 19 minutes from when you sent the message to reply. you waited 22 minutes to open it, you kept refreshing the screen because his reply only had 12 words.

12

words

“no problem, i wish you the best, you were a good partner :)”

the smiley face really topped it off you could see how he was trying to downplay the situation to have you feel not as guilty , but you were ready for anything

to be blocked, to get yelled at over text, for him to be disappointed but this really twisted the knife

he was so civil about it, he wasnt angry, he wasnt stressed about it

so why were you?

maybe it was the fact you were the asshole while he was the victim. the victim who stood by you and tried to understand you only to be hurt. deciding not to push it you left his message on read and turned off your phone and sighed

-

when seungcheol got home from hanging out with jeonghan, he turned on his phone after not checking it to see your contact name as one of the first notifications. he said rubbed his eyes frantically and turned off and on his phone again to make sure he wasnt seeing things

clicking on the notification his heart clenched

he hoped you meant everything you said, but its kinda hard to believe when all he could see were words. he’d much rather hear it from you but he doubted his luck at this point.

sending a small reply of what hes able to get out now he hoped youll rack up the courage for you to see him, or maybe he will

-

the third time reaching out

the third time you reached out wasnt your proudest moment. your friend convinced you to finally go out after mopping about seungcheol for the last months. the main point she gave was

“you already apologized, he forgave, what are you waiting for now?”

she was right, he clearly showed no sign of wanting to get back together so you have to live your life without him whether you liked it or not

and it didnt turn out too well. all you could remember was drinking your face off and then opening your eyes in your bed, still in your outfit. assuming your friend brought you home you picked up your phone and unlocked it to immediately see your text log with seungcheol making your heart drop

there were 3 messages in total since your last apology

“chwol i msiss hou so mwuch came beck i love you se mych”

you saw he read it immediately but took 19 minutes to reply

“yn your drunk, get some rest. stay safe”

“im nat i love you, im sorry”

seungcheol left you on seen.

somehow to your and his suprise the only word you could spell right was ‘i love you’

especially seungcheol. the whole day he subconsciously kept going back to look at the message to see if youd come back and apologize or even try and clear things up but the most important thing to him was the “i love you”

did you mean it?

when he first saw the message on his phone at 2:22 from you saying “i love you” his heart stopped, well until he read the rest of the message, it was clear you were drunk but he hated how it still had an effect on him

drunk words were sober thoughts but still, he wished to hear those 3 words from you when you were intoxicated.

seungcheol still longed for you to tell him you love him even after these months but his expectations for you were low. as much as he’d hate to say it, he began to give up on the chance you’d love him again

but he still loved you.

-

the fourth time reaching out (sorta)

its been a year and a half since you both had ended things. admittedly you realized your issues and worked on yourself, you weren’t ashamed to admit that you were a horrible person before cause you were. but now you can at least be proud with the person youve became

you took time away from those associated with seungcheol to avoid seeing him and breaking down your healing process but now you were finally ready to face everyone and most importantly

apologize to seungcheol in person

walking inside hoshi’s party the music was blasting, everyone was talking to one another and you walked around looking for some familiar faces.

jeonghan was the first to greet you, he hugged you while mumbling questions asking of how youve been and what youve been up to. but as he hugged you he turned your body to face seungcheol.

you looked up and saw his eyes. he stared at you as if he never saw you before and froze once again

the same way he did when you left

jeonghan whispered a “go talk to him” before leaving.

as cliche as it sounded, in a room full of people you both stared at eachother blanky

he wss the first to smile slight at you and you took that as a go sign to walk to him

as you made you way to him time moved slow, it seemed like everyone wasnt there anymore, just you and him

and like time went back to normal youre now standing infront of him

“seung-“

“cheol!”

you heard another voice call him by his nickname

looking for the voice you found it belonged to another woman.

it was hard to not assume the worst especially when you looked up and saw his embarrassed face.

“i love you….im sorry”

those two words were all you said before you left

again.

but this time you walked away with not the regret of being afraid but instead regretting the fact you let him

go to be with someone else

with tied in with how much you hated yourself for being so selfish you couldnt or rather didnt want to imagine him with anyone other than you

but there was no one to blame but you

walking back to your car you sat in the driver seat and laid on the horn while screaming letting out every single feeling youve felt and held in despite thinking youve let go

i guess somethings never leave

your love for him.

“excuse me?” you looked up at the old lady

you rolled down the window and tilted your head

“your horn” she awkwardly laughed

“oh right. sorry.” you chuckled awkwardly as she left, you reclined your seat back wanting to disappear

-

the fifth time reaching out

seungcheol spent the entire night and day after the party consoling himself. he tried to convince himself that you already moved on so what happened last night didnt mean much.

you werent worried were you?

she was just his cousin but you wouldnt be jealous or bothered because you had moved on

moved on

moved on

moved

oh fuck it. he hoped you didnt.

but he had spent the entire year and a half, almost 2 years afraid to go for what he wants. but life was too short

life was too short to hold him to get you back

whether it ends with him getting slapped or completely heart broken

its okay with him

so as he opens his door with his shoss on he-

you.

you looked as almost shocked as him as he opened the door

you both jumbled your words

“i-“

“well-“

“but-“

“hi.”

you both said

there was a moment of silence of you two deciding what to do, or who should speak first

you shook your head and decided to go first

“i love you

im sorry.”

he froze, the words he longed to hear from you finally hit his ears. there was no ‘and’ between the ‘i love you’ and ‘im sorry’. its as if you were apologizing for loving him like you were scared

and he knew you were. so hearing it made it 10 times better

the silence from him caused you to be able to hear your heartbeat, you looked up and seen him smiling warmly as he opened his arms

your lips curved up slightly as you entered his embrace

“i love you

i havent stopped”

[waitimcomingtoo]

Come See About Me

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Synopsis: Tom realizes he got you all wrong and slowly falls as he learns more about you during the press tour

Masterlist

“Oh shoot. I’m press with Y/n all week.” Tom said as he read an email from his team.

“Is that a bad thing?” Harry asked him.

“Not necessarily. I just don’t really know her that well. She was super reserved on set for the few days I shot with her. I wonder why they paired me with her.”

“Well, you’re the same age, right? The movie team probably just want to start romance rumors for publicity.”

“I don’t think that will happen. I barely got to know her during filming. I doubt anyone will see chemistry between us.” Tom replied. He started pacing around his hotel room and felt uncharacteristically nervous for the day ahead.

“Well for your sake, let’s hope you don’t see chemistry between you either.” Harry snorted.

“How do you mean?” Tom frowned.

“You know how messy relationships in the public eye can be. Just don’t go falling in love with this girl, okay? I do not want to watch you pine after your dark and mysterious costar.” Harry warned him.

“Psh. I won’t fall in love with her. That would never happen.” Tom scoffed and continued scrolling through his phone. He ended up on Instagram and saw that you had recently posted a photo. It was just a simple selfie in your hotel room which was probably just a few doors down from Tom’s. He found himself smiling and gave the photo a like. He may not have gotten to know you on set, but there’s no reason he couldn’t get to know you now.

“But if I did, why would that be bad?” Tom asked as he deep stalked your Instagram.

“The way I see it, there are two outcomes if you choose to pursue her. Option one is you get swept up in the excitement of promoting the movie and start reading into every little interaction between the two of you because that’s what the public is doing. So you convince yourself you’re in love with her and maybe she’ll even convince herself of the same thing. But once the press tour is over and you get to be with each other without any reason or purpose, you realize you never actually liked each other. And that’ll just end up breaking both your hearts. Even worse if only one of you realizes you never actually liked the other. God. That would be a nightmare.” Harry shivered.

“Okay.” Tom said slowly. “That was oddly specific. So what’s the other outcome?”

“You fall in love with her on this press tour and then it ends before you get a chance to tell her. So she flies off to film another movie and you’re stuck kicking yourself for not being honest with her sooner. And I’m stuck watching you whine about it.” Harry said simply.

“Or, hear me out, secret third option.” Tom proposed. “I fall for her and she falls for me and we have a great relationship. And maybe it lasts and maybe it doesn’t. But at least we gave it a shot. That could happen, right?”

“Maybe. But either way, she’s getting on a plane at the end of this press tour. And you can’t fall in love with someone who’s worlds away. Remember that.” Harry reminded him.

“I’m not gonna fall in love with her.” Tom insisted.

“Promise?” Harry asked skeptically.

“Yeah. Promise.” Tom said weakly. He looked at your picture one more time before shutting his phone off.

The next morning, Tom got into a black van that was going to take the cast to the building where the interviews were taking place. You got into the car shortly after with a huge smile on your face that Tom had never seen before. You were in a nice dress and full glam already, unintentionally earning yourself Tom’s full attention.

“Good morning.” You said enthusiastically as you sat in the seat beside him. He was slightly taken aback by how friendly you were being since he had only ever seen you being quiet and reserved.

“Oh, hello.” He smiled in surprise. “Good morning to you too, darling. How are you doing?”

“I’m really excited for today.” You admitted. “I haven’t done a big press tour like this before. I know they can be a little boring and repetitive but I can’t wait.”

“Yeah. These tours are pretty crazy. You get to see a lot of amazing places which is really cool. But you also get to answer the same question 100 times a day for a month straight. You’ll learn the highs and the lows pretty soon.”

“I’m ready for it all. But thanks for the warning. I appreciate any tips I can get.” You chuckled.

“You’re welcome. And don’t worry. You’ll get used to waking up at the crack of dawn and having a bunch of people you’ve never met poke you with makeup and hair stuff.”

“When?” You asked through a yawn. “Because I have a full face of makeup on before my brain is fully awake and it feels so very, very wrong.”

“Not soon enough.” He sighed. “I’ve learned to stay half asleep while the nice ladies apply my concealer.”

“Oh, so this complexion isn’t natural?” You teased and pointed to his face.

“Nope. You’re not the only one in full glam right now, darling.” He humored you, making you laugh.

“Careful. You don’t know if you can’t trust me yet. I might sell that piece of bad boy information to a news site and get you exposed.” You warned. It was Tom’s turn to laugh and he felt amazed that he had never seen this side of your personality before.

“I hope you don’t. I was just about to say that I’m glad I can share your first big press tour with you but now I feel we may have begun an enemies arch.”

“No. We can’t be enemies.” You whined playfully. “Because I was gonna say that I’m glad you’re here too. You always seem so relaxed and funny in interviews. I’m really hoping I don’t come off as nervous as I feel today.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t. It’ll feel just like a conversation.” He assured you. He was pleased to know you were a watcher of his interviews and wondered what else he’d uncover about you that day.

“Thank. I really appreciate you helping me with all this.”You said sincerely.

“It’s no trouble. If you have any other questions, just ask. I’ll help wherever I can.” He told you.

“Thanks, Tom.” You smiled at him. He smiled back and suddenly remembered what Harry had said the night before about not falling in love with you. Tom was just one conversation in and already struggling to keep his promise.

Once the van arrived at the building, you and Tom had makeup touch ups and were then sent into the junket room.

“Wow. I haven’t seen the poster yet.” You gasped and touched the poster with gentle fingertips. Tom watched you admiring it and smiled when he saw how proud you looked.

“You look good up there. I hope to see you on more posters.” He said and nudged you slightly.

“Like in Playboy?” You asked and looked insulted.

“What?” Tom gulped. “No, no, no. I didn’t-“

“I’m just messing with you.” You cut him off and nudged him back. He felt his hearts too racing and cracked a smile.

“You really had me for a second there, darling. I didn’t realize you had such a sense of humor. I guess I never heard you say much on set.”

“Thats because I found it hard to shake my character after filming all day. I guess I’m not used to separating that yet. I loved my character and all but I’m so glad to be done shooting her. She’s so dark and dramatic. It really affected my mood on set.” You told him as you both sat down in your chairs.

“Oh, wow. So you’re not quiet? You were just in character?”

“Quiet? I’ve never been described as quiet.” You laughed. “I was just in my emo phase on set because the material I was shooting was so dark. It bummed me out all day.”

“But you’re not bummed out today?” He asked with a coy smile.

“Fuck no. I’m ready to party.” You whispered to him just as the journalist came in. He burst out laughing at the unexpected expletive and earned himself a look from the journalist.

“Well alright then.” He chuckled.

That was the first of many times you made Tom laugh that day. The more interviews you did together, the more he learned about you and your personality. He paid attention to every anecdote and personal story you shared and was more and more fascinated each time.

When it came time for day two of the press tour, he could not wait to get back in there with you. The interviews were in the hotel that day and Tom got to the junket room first. When you got there, you handed him a hot cup of tea.

“For you.” You smiled and sat beside him. Tom looked at you curiously and you gestured for him to sip it. He took a sip and widened his eyes when he tasted it.

“This is exactly how I take my tea.” He said incredulous.

“I know. I was listening when you ordered at breakfast yesterday.” You said proudly.

“Thank you, darling. I really appreciate that.” He smiled fondly at you before taking another sip.

“Well I wanted to thank you for all your help yesterday.” You smiled shyly. “I was really nervous yesterday until we talked in the car. You made my first press day really memorable. So I did the normal courtesy of eavesdropping on you and brought you your favorite tea.”

“That was very kind of you. And you made my day yesterday a lot better than I was expecting so I should be thanking you too.”

“Then I’ll loudly tell someone else my favorite way to drink tea so that you can eavesdrop and surprise me.” You joked as the journalist walked in.

“How are you guys doing today?” The journalist asked to start the interview.

“I’m doing really well now that Y/n brought me tea.” Tom answered and took another sip.

“I’m also doing really well but because Tom didn’t bring me tea.” You said and looked at Tom to see if he found it funny.

“Why would that make you happy?” He laughed.

“Because I hate tea.” You shrugged.

“What? Don’t you know that is the worst thing you can say to an English person? And you just told me you had a favorite tea.”

“That was a joke. I actually hate tea.” You admitted.

“How can anyone hate tea?” Tom asked in exasperation.

“It’s just like hot, flavored water. I don’t understand what’s good about it. I hate soup too.“

“Soup too?” Tom gasped and pretended to clutch his petals.

“I think soup is so nasty. Why would I ever want to eat hot blended food?”

“If you hate soup and you hate tea, then what do you do when you’re sick?”

“I watch Fantastic Mr. Fox under my covers like a normal person.” You answered, making him laugh.

“This is very disturbing information to learn so early in the morning. You’ve surprised me, darling.”

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this.” You shrugged with a laugh.

The next day, Tom was pleased to see you already waiting in your chair for the interview to start. You were texting on your phone but looked up when he came into the room. Your makeup artists was touching up your lipstick so you couldn’t smile at him and opted for a wink. He found himself blushing at the wink and sat beside you.

“Morning, darling.”

“Good morning. No tea today?” You teased.

“I’ve already had my tea, for your information. I chugged it while I got my makeup done.”

You laughed but he wasn’t actually kidding about getting his makeup done. He was just happy that it made you laugh. Your makeup artists finished up and you checked your makeup in your phone camera.

“You look pretty.” Tom said before he could stop himself. You looked over at him in surprise before smiling.

“Why, thanks. So do you.” You said and shot him another wink. He blushed and looked down at his lap at the compliment.

“God, I’m gonna be thinking about lunch this entire interview.” You whispered to him.

“You didn’t eat at the craft service table?”

“I can’t eat that early in the morning.” You waved your hand. “It makes me nauseous. Now I’m wishing I did though. My kingdom for a cheese stick.”

“I hate cheese.” Tom grimaced.

“What? Even in stick form?” You asked him.

“Even in stick form.” He humored you. “And you can’t judge me because you hate the two most comforting foods on earth.”

“I’m judging you so hard right now.” You mumbled. Tom laughed as an idea came to him.

Before your next interview, Tom made a quick stop at the bakery across the street. You were already in the room waiting to start by the time he got back. He quickly fixed his hair before holding out a little brown paper bag.

“For you.” He said with a bashful smile.

“What is this?” You asked as you took the bag.

“Open it.” He said as he sat beside you. You gave him a curious look before opening the bag.

“Scone?” You gasped and looked up at him.

“Scone!” He smiled proudly.

“You got me a scone? Why?” You wondered and took the stone out of the bag.

“Because it was easier to find than a cheese stick.” He chuckled.

“I love you.” You cupped his chin before taking a bite of the scone. Tom froze and felt his face turn bright red at your words. You realized he had gone quiet and looked over at him.

“Sorry. Was it too soon to say that?” You asked with a mouthful of scone.

“I think so. Aren’t you supposed to wait three months?” He chuckled and touched a cold hand to his burning face.

“Too bad. The introduction of the scone sped up our relationship and now we’re in love.” You shrugged and took another bite. Tom laughed again and looked down at his laugh.

“So, uh, speaking of our relationship. Have you seen the way fans have been shipping us since our last few interviews hit the Internet? How weird is that?” He said and forced a laugh. He didn’t actually find it weird, he just wanted it see how you felt about the possibility of a relationship.

“I was actually deep into the fan edits last night to be perfectly honest with you.” You said through a laugh.

“Were you?” He asked in surprise.

“I was. And I heard that we’ve been secretly dating since May. Did you know that?”

“I did. I forgot to tell you. I’m sorry, darling. It must’ve slipped my mind.” He played along.

“That’s okay. I can’t be mad at you since you blessed me with a scone.”

The journalist came in once you had finished your scone and the interview began. Tom was barely paying attention to the questions and only focused on hearing your answers. He loved that he wasn’t getting to learn new things about you that he was too shy to ask.

“Unpopular opinion?” The journalist asked.

“A lot of people think cats are girls and dogs are boys but the real take here is that all seagulls are boys.”

“Woah, what? What makes all seagulls boys?” Tom asked you.

“A girl would never act like that.” You said simply, making Tom laugh.

“My unpopular opinion is that Y/n’s best movie is Look Mom, No Hands.” Tom said, making you burst out laughing.

“I know you did not just bring up my Disney Chanel original movie from when I was 11.”

“Yes I did. Because I watched it last night and I cried when you made the winning goal even after your glasses broke from the soccer ball hitting you in the face.”

“Oh my God.” You laughed. “The drama.”

“It was! The opposing team totally kicked it into your face on purpose because they knew you were the underdog. But nevertheless, she persisted. You made the winning goal and your team won the championship.”

“Wow. Way to spoil my movie from 15 years ago. And why were you even watching that?”

“Because I needed to know who I was working with everyday. It’s a part of your lore. Now that I know you’ve starred in a DCOM, I know I can trust you.”

“I was not the star. Bridget Mendler was the star. I was just the quirky best friend.” You reminded him, making Tom laugh.

“Well you were the only one I was looking at, okay darling? You were the star for me.” He said as he looked over at you. You smiled at his answer and nodded your head.

“Good answer. Favorite snack?” The journalist asked.

“Oh no. You’re gonna think I’m weird.” You smiled sheepishly.

“What? I could never, darling. What is it?” Tom asked and turned in his chair to face you.

“I put mustard on popcorn.” You grimaced.

“What the hell?” Tom’s nose scrunched in disgust.

“See! I knew you’d think I was a little freak.”

“Mustard? On popcorn? Why would anyone do that?”

“You’re thinking it’s worse than it is. Yellow mustard on lightly salted popcorn is really good, okay? Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“You’re gonna have to make it for me. Because I cannot imagine it’s good.” Tom shook his head.

“If I can get my hands on some mustard during this press tour, I will be at your door in a heartbeat.”

“It’s a date.”Tom replied, making you smile.

“It better be.” You answered, and he returned the smile.

Tom was fully in it now. Every second that he wasn’t with you, you were the only thing on his mind. You started spending your evenings together and grabbed dinner every night after your interviews. He was falling fast and getting worse and worse at hiding it. He posted a photo of the two of you that the paparazzi had taken while you were out to dinner and captioned it “I’d wait out in the cold all night just to take pictures of her too”. He tagged you and it wasn’t long before you were in his comments saying “he’s so obsessed with me it’s honestly embarrassing”. He smiled at the comment and wrote back “yes, and?” before going to bed.

The press tour was coming to an end and on the last day, Tom walked into the junket room to find only one chair in the room.

“Oh. No Y/n?” Tom asked his manager.

“Nope. Solo interviews today.” They replied. Tom faked a smile and sat in his chair. He hoped his disappointment wasn’t as obvious as it felt as he gave the interview alone. He did a few more solo interviews throughout the day and eventually got to his last one. It wasn’t long before the door opened up and you walked into the room with Tom’s water bottle.

“Hi. I’m crashing. Sorry.” You smiled sheepishly and walked into the room.

“That’s quite all right. Do you want a chair?” The journalist asked you.

“I’m good.” You smiled politely and sat on Tom’s knee. He immediately blushed and looked up at you.

“What are you doing here, darling?” Tom grinned.

“I finished early so I brought you juice.” You said and handed him the water bottle.

“What? No way.” He smiled in appreciation and opened up the water bottle to see apple juice inside.

“Juice!” You cheered.

“Juice!” He echoed. “Thank you, darling. What a nice surprise.”

“Well I had to get you back for the scone.“ You told him.

“So Tom, I have to ask about your Instagram post from yesterday. You tagged Y/n in an interesting place, Tom. Care to comment on that?” The journalist asked now that you had joined the interview.

“He tagged me there because it’s where you can usually find me.” You chuckled.

“Wait, I’m lost? Where did I tag her?” Tom asked. You and the journalist exchanged a look before you pulled out your phone to show Tom his own post from the night before. He had accidentally tagged you right on his crotch, making him turn red when he saw his mistake. And when he pieced together what you meant by what you had just said, he turned even redder.

“Oh my God. I swear, I’m just Instagram stupid. I didn’t mean to tag her there.” Tom explained.

“Yes he did. He tagged me in my location. Because that’s where I am.” You kept up the joke just to tease him.

“Where?” The journalist laughed.

“On Tom’s dick.” You shrugged. Tom covered his red face with his hands as you and the journalist laughed.

“People know that about me. If they can’t find me, they don’t ask “hey where’s Y/n?” because they already know where I am. It’s my happy place. My sanctuary. My home away from home.” You continued.

“No. No more. My mum watched these.” He playfully scolded you.

“Hey, you started this.” You reminded him.

“And I’m ending it.”

“Actually, I’m the one who has to end it. That’s all the time we have. Thanks guys.” The journalist said. The last interview was done, meaning the press tour was officially over. You stood up and adjusted your skirt before looking at Tom. He smiled softly but felt his disappointment return. The tour was over which meant today was his last day with you. He knew you’d keep in touch, but it would never be like this again, and that’s made him sad.

Instead of wallowing in his sadness, Tom did something about it. He stopped by the corner store before making his way to your hotel room. In his way there, he ran into his brother Harry. Harry took one look at the bag of popcorn in his hands and knew what was happening.

“You fell in love with her, didn’t you?” Harry snorted.

“Shut up.” Tom groaned. “I can still fire you.”

“You did the one thing you said you wouldn’t do. Now look at you. One your way to eat the most American combination of foods I have ever seen. You’re a disgrace to your homeland.”

“I couldn’t help it, okay? She made me fall for her. It’s all her fault, really. Now leave me alone. I have a girl to surprise with a disgusting snack.” Tom said and went on his way. He took a deep breath before knocking on your door. You opened your door for him and he held up his bag of supplies.

“Hey, you. What’s this?”You raised an eyebrow.

“Mustard and popcorn. You little freak.” He said with a teasing smile. Your lips curved into a smile as you stared at him.

“Get in here.” You instructed.

He went into your room and shut the door behind him as you poured the bag popcorn into two bowls. He did his best to hide his disgust as you squirt mustard over them both.

“Here. You’re gonna love this.” You said as you handed him his bowl.

“It smells like mustard.” He grimaced.

“Well, that’s 50% of the ingredients.”

“Okay. I’m doing it. I’m eating one.” He said and popped a mustard covered piece of popcorn into his mouth. You watched him as he chewed it and could tell he hated it.

“Well?” You asked.

“I’m gonna throw up.” He answered.

“Spit it out.” You laughed.

“No. You like this so I’m gonna force myself to like it too.” He said a begrudgingly swallowed the popcorn. You laughed at him but your smile slowly faded and you looked a little upset.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked you.

“I don’t know. I’m feeling kinda down tonight.” You told him.

“You are? What’s bothering you?”

“I guess I’m just sad the tours over. I don’t like when things end.” You admitted with a sad smile.

“I’m sad it’s over too. They usually exhaust me but I don’t know. I particularly enjoyed this one.” Tom replied sheepishly without meeting your eyes.

“You did?” You asked as you ate your popcorn.

“I did. Mostly because I enjoyed getting to know you.” He admitted and finally looked up at you. You smiled in surprise and scooted closer to him. Tom gulped and looked down at his lap. The tour was officially over so if he didn’t want you to get on a plane without ever knowing how he felt, he was gonna have to speak now.

“You know, before the tour started, my brother made me promise that I wasn’t gonna fall for you.” Tom admitted.

“What?” You laughed softly. “Why would he make you promise that?”

“I don’t know. He said it would only end in two ways.” Tom said and looked into your eyes with a sheepish smile.

“Which were?” You wondered.

“We get caught up in the excitement of the movie so we start a fling and then breakup when the tour ends.”

“Well that didn’t happen. So what was the other option?”

“I fall for you and never tell you. And the tour ends and you get on a plane and I regret it for the rest of my life. But I guess that option didn’t happen either since I told you.” He said as he never dropped your gaze. You stared into his eyes for a moment as you processed what he had just admitted.

“Well, what if there was a secret third option?”

“Secret third option?” Tom asked with intrigue.

“I mean, just because the tour is ending that doesn’t mean it has to be the end of you and me, does it?” You said and leaned in even closer.

“It doesn’t?” He gulped at your close proximity.

“I don’t think so. And look. You bought me food. That makes this is our first date.” You explained as you held up your bowl of popcorn.

“Well I’m happy to hear that but don’t expect a kiss with your mustard breath.” Tom mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.

“What was that?” You played along.

“I said you’re so pretty and I have a giant crush on you and want us to be together.” He said quickly.

“Much better.” You smiled and popped some popcorn into your mouth.

Tag List 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

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@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

[heliza24]

Armand and Unbreakable Cycles

So (perhaps unsurprisingly at this point) I have a TON of Armand thoughts after yesterday’s episode. Specifically I want to talk about the function of the 1790s section, and how it perfectly illuminates the cycle of maladaptive behavior that Armand is caught up in and the difference between his stated wants and his actual needs. I think the setup we saw in this episode will also be crucial to understanding how Dubai plays out, so I want to talk about that too.

I know a lot of people love the show and TVC because of Lestat, and there’s some frustration that Lestat was presented in a way that was untrue or filtered. But I really think you have to view this episode as a lens into Armand, which we in turn need in order to understand Louis. Everyone has someone similar to Lestat’s role in Armand’s life; an ex or a situationship or a former friend who takes up so much real estate in your brain because of their outsized impact  on you, who probably never thinks of you in return. We give these people a role in the story we craft of how we became who we are. That narrativizing is kind of the only way to understand yourself and survive (especially if you’re going to live forever). So I don’t doubt that there are things that Armand says that are untrue, or exaggerated, or twisted in his favor. But I do think the important part is the emotional impact his encounter with Lestat had on him, and I do think he’s being honest about those emotions.

(That being said I am of course very excited to see these events play out again in season 3 from Lestat’s POV. Don’t fuck it up AMC!!!)

The main thing that the flashback does is set up the cycle that Armand finds himself in over and over again. He consistently finds himself clinging to control in an institution he is starting to lose faith in, and is then shaken out of his complacency by a new love that seems– falsely– to rescue him.

Depending on how they adapt his very early backstory, I think we can probably assume that this pattern started in childhood for him. Marius rescued him from being forced into sex work, and seemed to offer a much better life. But in reality he was just grooming Armand. (Thanks @toriangeli for correcting a piece of my Marius lore here!)

In Paris he continues maintaining a strictly enforced life of misery for the coven long after he stops believing in it himself, and (by his telling at least) he was grateful to Lestat for having the strength to end it when he could not. It’s so clear why Armand falls for Lestat. Lestat’s refusal to live in shame, his love of the arts, his ability to exist amongst humanity (at least when he is on stage). Lestat is of the world, while Armand and the coven hide from it. 

The reason I think it is so important that we got to see this play out in Paris is the way it illuminates the sometimes tricky relationship between Louis and Armand. Once again, Armand is the head of an institution that operates on strict and oppressive rules. Once again, we can feel Armand’s enthusiasm for this system waning (and see it reflected physically in the lack of ticket sales and general shabbiness of the theatre). And once again, Armand is swept off his feet by this new vampire who refuses to join, who loves humanity, and who has a passion for art. Louis is very much of the world. He refuses to be pinned down into coven life. Armand can’t resist taking what looks like the opportunity for escape in Louis’s love. 

What I think is so fascinating about this cycle is that it allows Armand to remain passive. He never has to be the one to make the hard call to walk away from a kind of life that is no longer serving him. He just has to wait for the next gorgeous man to arrive to deliver him.  As he says to Louis, “those with the most power are often the weakest”. His status and power in the coven prevents him from changing his own life. Or at least that’s what he believes. 

Thinking about this helped me understand the dynamic of what goes down in the sewers, when Armand threatens Louis’s life. Assad says in the behind the scenes clips that Armand goes into that encounter very set on killing Louis, and I believe him.  So I rewatched it a couple of times trying to understand when, and why, Armand changes his mind. The shift occurs when they start talking about Claudia, and Armand says that her mind will break apart soon because she was made too young. Louis says “you don’t know her,” and Armand responds, “I don’t have to. I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen too much.” That admission– I’ve lived through this cycle multiple times before, it is painful, and I don’t want to do it again– is what shifts Armand from being ready to kill Louis to letting him go. 

There is of course an irony here; mentally ill and child vampires do not necessarily need to go mad. Generally they go mad at least partially because of Armand’s actions. And as we’ve already discussed, Armand going to sleep with Louis instead of killing him is really just a repeat of his actions with Lestat. He isn’t really breaking a cycle at all. But I think in that moment he believes that he is. Maybe he even believes that by being with a man who enacted great violence on Lestat, he can drown out the love and anguish he still feels about Lestat. At the very least, Louis has also loved Lestat and can therefore understand Armand’s narration of his own life in a way that not many other people can. 

Ok, so now we are caught up on the past. Let’s talk about Dubai, and how once again Armand is engaged in the exact same cycle of behavior.

The penthouse is Armand’s new coven. He maintains perfect order by controlling the physical environment and shaping Louis’s moods and memories. But just like before, this way of life is no longer serving Armand (or Louis for that matter). You can see that the spark between them has died, only rekindled as a kind of performance when they are in front of Daniel. When Armand is telling Daniel about Lestat destroying the coven, and Daniel accuses Armand of leading Lestat to the coven intentionally… he might as well be talking about himself. Armand has let Daniel into his fortress, and there is at least a part of him that wants whatever destruction Daniel is about to bring into his life.

Daniel fits Armand’s type completely. Daniel is of course more human than Lestat or Louis could ever be. He knows about telenovelas and Bollywood and all other types of art. He’s whipsmart and inquisitive and is not going to let Armand get away with passively maintaining his old order. He’s of the world in a way that Armand finds irresistible. 

I specifically found it interesting how many of the “Great Laws” Armand would be breaking by being with Daniel. Granted, Armand isn’t in the coven anymore when he meets Daniel. But I imagine old habits are hard to break, and being with Daniel would break almost all of them. Daniel is a mortal Armand has revealed his true nature to and allowed to live, Daniel has written about and exposed vampire secrets, and (if we’re looking at book canon) Daniel begs for the dark gift himself, a thing only the maitre is supposed to be able to approve. 

Assuming that a chunk of Devil’s Minion did happen in the 1970s, something interrupted that love affair, before it could settle back down into a new but still oppressive status quo. Something prompted Armand to actively break his pattern of behavior and erase Daniel’s memories. I think it’s impossible not to think about Nicki’s example here, especially after seeing the 1790s flashback. I’m going to assume that 1970s Daniel was struggling with addiction and mental health issues in a way that may have been reminiscent of Nicki. How intentional was Armand in withdrawing because he saw what vampire involvement- his involvement- did to Nicki? How much was his treatment of Daniel a reparation for past mistakes he made?

These last couple of paragraphs are speculation, really, because we won’t know exactly what Armandaniel looked like until Ep 5. But I think it was crucial that we saw this part of Armand’s story before we see San Francisco, because his actions with Daniel will make more sense if we can compare them with the love affairs of Armand’s past.

Regardless, I do think the disparity between what Armand claims to want (maintaining the status quo) vs what he actually wants (to be liberated by a romantic partner) vs what I think he actually needs (to take action himself, instead of waiting for someone to do it for him) is going to play a role in the way Dubai unfolds. I don’t know that Armand will ever get to the point where he’s actively able to break out of the cycle he’s in, because this is Interview with the Vampire, the show of fucked up gothic romances. Vampire life is a series of bad decisions! It’s a weird arrested development you never quite get out of despite living for forever! So it would make total sense if the ending of Dubai mimics the ending of the Children of Satan and the Paris Coven in an unhealthy way. But regardless, it’s gonna be a fun ride, and I can’t wait to see it.

[fivelila]

- It's because he's in the CIA, huh? I'm just a dumb delivery driver. - No, Diego. - Then why? - Because I needed something for myself, okay? Something other than changing diapers and wine moms and ballet class. At least you get to get outside the house every day. I'm just trapped in this unending suburban hellscape. - I mean, that's good to know. That the life we built is so bad. - That's not what I meant. - You think I like delivering packals day in and day out? Busting my ass? Oh, trust me. I'd rather be out there cracking skulls, but, I mean, somebody's gotta show up for this marriage, ecause... it sure as hell ain't you.

Like, I'm sorry, but that was torture to watch. At this point, I thought Five was just going to be used for a wannabe humorous interlude in a story about Lila supposedly having an affair with no further response… But… do you really feel like their relationship is just one grey cloud in the sky? That all they have to do is talk and it'll all be resolved?

The way she looks at him, he's showing off for her and she's just embarrassed. In the car, she wants to confide in him about how she feels and he turns it back on himself and his problems. Plus, he fits the role of hero, head of the family. And she's the ungrateful and selfish. At this point, I was just thinking, oh, girl, I'm sorry it turned out this way.

I think she talked to him many times, but he didn't want to listen or even understand her. That's the worst thing that can happen in a relationship. Their paths may have started together, but after that they went their separate ways.

In fact, I get the feeling he didn't appreciate her at all and took her for granted. He found a girl with wild blood, a crazy personality and a sparkle in her eye and made her a housewife. She looks so tired, unhappy and frustrated! And he's like, you got me, you got the kids, you got the house, take care of all that and be happy!

In my opinion, Lila was never that type. She probably did it for him (I don't doubt her love for her kids) but it must have been killing her more and more every day.

Sorry, this is what I think. And I'm not saying this as a shipper, but as a woman. I understand her for my own personal reasons, let's say. It made me really sad...

The fact that she fell in love again and someone actually saw her, cared for her, understood her and loved her above all else was just beautiful.

[d3f3n3str4t10n]

I've been rewatching playthroughs of the first two chapters, and it's got me thinking about how Andrew and Ashley view their relationship.

It's no secret that Andrew is rather... 'hands on' with Ashley. Whether it's scolding her, comforting her, or just relaxing around her. In certain instances (like the one directly above) it even comes off like, at times, he doesn't even recognize he's doing it at first. But it started to make me wonder what Ashley thinks about all this. Throughout the entire game, past and present, Andrew acts like this, but Ashley never pays it any mind. There are times she jokes about it, but that's all it ever amounts to. Just a quick joke. Ashley herself is no stranger to this behavior either.

And in turn, Andrew never calls her out on this either. Which is especially weird, given his hang-ups about their... unique relationship. That was, until I saw this line, which I had never seen before. As Ashley, f you talk to Andrew before taking Renee up to the phone, Ashley will say he owes him a hug, and Andrew responds with this...

Suddenly he's acting like that sort of behavior is a thing of the past. Something they (or at least, she) grew out of years ago. I'll bet part of it is because of their parents watching (Which Andrew himself brings up in a couple lines after this...) but I doubt that's the whole reason.

Perhaps this isn't a world-changing revelation, but I think this is just another byproduct of how Andrew raised Ashley. Even as kids, Andy was never reluctant to touch Leyley. From shaking her, to making a literal blood oath with her. I doubt Andy meant anything about by when they were that young, but as their dependance on each other grew, and Andrew's feelings for her developed, it was just something that became normalized... at least, to Ashley. We can see in multiple scenarios whenever Andrew sees himself, or gets caught touching Ashley from anywhere from her chin to her ass, he QUICKLY pulls away... yet Ashley doesn't even seem to flinch. In fact, whenever it's brought up, all Ashley can do is laugh. About how 'weird' Andrew is being about it. Which in turn, makes her seem even more crazy, because yeah, of course that kind of contact between the two is weird, why wouldn't it be? But no, it's because that's just what she grew up around. Andrew was always touchy-feely like that, so that's just how siblings act, right? It's not like she ever got close enough to anyone else to recognize how their relationship compares to anyone else's. It's also partly why, even despite what we've seen with Ashley about her jealousy with Andrew, she isn't quite sure if they're "like that" when Andrew asks her. All that physical contact isn't really anything special to her. That's just how they are. And because of how sheltered she grew up, she doesn't see it as weird. She sees everyone who thinks it's weird as weird. Again, probably not the most mind-blowing realization, but it was fun to write about.

[veronicaphoenix]

zutto — chapter eight | wc: 5.7k | series masterpost | prev. chapter

Chapter summary: Lia and Noah go to couples therapy. Noah and Lia spend a cozy evening in her studio. Reading time: 22mins. aprox.

Tags and trigger warnings: therapy, talks of mental health, ptsd, anxiety, insecurities, self-doubt, mentions of parents' neglect, abandonment, mentions of medication and lia's overdose, mentions of lia's abusive relationship with mitch, mentions of alcohol intake, talks of sex, implied sexual scenarios that include oral sex (female receiving) and protected sex. The rest is pure fluff, noah and lia being totally madly in love with each other and being supportive of each other's works. There's blindfolding going on in this chapter but it's not in a sexual scenario. If I'm missing sth, let me know. The therapy scene took me ages to write.

General trigger warnings: this work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction, abuse, & violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

“Have you found any hobby; any activity that helps soothe your anxiety?”

Lia processed Dr. Reynolds question, thinking back over the past few days: rejoining her long-missed yoga classes, meeting Emery for coffee on Thursday, catching up with the BO crew to discuss tour logistics and merch-related stuff, drawing, packing for Japan…

After a brief pause, Lia replied, 

“Sex.”

As soon as the word left her lips, her face flushed. Sitting next to her in the other armchair, Noah remained still, his eyes wide in surprise at her response, though he didn't look directly at her. His cheeks were tinged pink as well.

Dr. Reynolds immediately noticed their reactions, especially the way Noah quickly avoided eye contact.

“Okay, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed,” she reassured them, raising her hands slightly from her desk, which separated her from the young couple. “Sex is something totally normal and natural, and it’s great for our mental health and well-being.” She waited a few seconds until she saw Noah’s shoulders relax and Lia let out a sigh. “Tell me, Lia, how do you feel when you’re physically intimate with Noah?”

Lia raised an eyebrow while still curled up in the armchair.  

“Mentally, emotionally,” Dr. Reynolds clarified, a genuine soft smile on her lips.

“Umm,” Lia’s mind wandered to their first time—both drunk and needy for each other. She remembered it had felt good, but she didn’t want to dwell on that night, since it was followed by the worst weeks of her life. Instead, she thought about the last few days, about every time Noah had covered her with his body or laid her down on the sofa, his face sinking between her legs. She had never put into words how it felt, aside from when Noah asked if she liked what he was doing to her, or the previous night, when she’d been sitting on his lap, arms and legs wrapped around him, and he had asked if that posture felt good. She had breathlessly muttered in his ear that it did, “it feels so good, Noah.”

“It feels good,” she started. 

Better than that. But she didn’t feel comfortable enough to say to her therapist the same she’d told Emery two days ago when they’d met. “It feels like everything’s okay. I feel loved, and I feel safe.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded in understanding. Her dark brown eyes shifted to Noah, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“What about you, Noah?”

Noah cleared his throat.

“Uh, I—”

Fuck. Did he really have to talk about it to that woman? It was hard enough to put into words what he felt, let alone say it out loud to a stranger. Still, he wasn’t there just to sit comfortably in that chair, listening to Dr. Reynolds and Lia’s difficult answers. He was there to communicate. Lia had made the effort, and his heart had fluttered when he heard her say how loved and safe he made her feel. The least he could do was the same.  

He replayed images from the day before in his mind: her skin against his, the way she wrapped around him, how warm she felt, the look in her eyes when he flipped them both so he could be on top, thrusting deep inside her.

“It feels like….” He swallowed, avoiding direct eye contact with the therapist. “I’ve always felt that something was missing, and… After things got better between us, I… I felt complete.” He wasn’t talking only about sex. “I feel utterly happy when I’m with her, not just for myself but for her, too. I know I was… I know I am making her happy.” 

Well, that sounded cheesy as fuck, Noah.

Dr. Reynolds gave a gentle nod.

“I think it’s clear that you and Lia have a deep connection. Would you say it’s been like this since you first met?”

Grateful for the shift in topic, he answered quickly. 

“Absolutely,” he said, with certainty. He’d been fighting everyone from the very beginning to show the world that no one knew Lia like he did. Therefore, no one could take care of her the way he could. 

He expected Lia to echo his response, but her mind was somewhere else.  

“I feel so guilty,” she began, directing her words to Dr. Reynolds. “I’ve loved him since I was a kid. All those times I scared off his girlfriends, I was being selfish and a coward. Then, Mitch came and…” she sniffed but held back tears. “I’ve… carried this fear with me my whole life. A fear of never being enough, of not deserving love. I know I always had Noah, but even when I did, I was convinced that it was all some cruel joke, and that as soon as I finally had him, life would rip him away. I couldn’t bear that thought. So, I buried my feelings, blocked them out; I forced myself to believe it wasn’t real, that I wasn’t in love with him. I told myself for months that it was just infatuation, that he had bigger things to focus on and worry about. The band has always meant everything to him and…”

“That’s not—” Noah started, but Dr. Reynolds raised a gentle hand to quiet him. 

“I kept pushing him away, again and again. I know I hurt him. I know he loves me, but the guilt is suffocating. I’ve put him through so much.”

Dr. Reynolds listened intently, her eyes calm and steady, letting the silence linger after Lia’s words. It was a weighty silence, one that felt like a deep exhale after too many years of holding it all in. Lia’s hands trembled slightly in her lap.

 “That weight has always been there,” she continued through clenched teeth. “I’ve always sabotaged things before they could go wrong, merely because I was convinced they would go wrong.”

Noah shifted beside her. He wanted to reach out, to hold her hand, but the heaviness of the moment kept him still. He hated hearing her talk like that, as if she was the villain in their story. He opened his mouth to argue, to tell her she didn’t need to feel guilty, but something in Dr. Reynolds’ gaze made him hold back once again.

“Lia, what you’re describing is a fear many people experience when they’ve been hurt before or when they deeply value something. We’ve talked about this, remember? It’s called self-preservation. You and Noah have been friends since you were kids. You’ve been attached to him most of your life. He’s been your constant, so it makes sense you’d fear losing him. That fear made you protect yourself, even when there wasn’t a real threat.”

Lia swallowed, her eyes glassy as she fought back tears. 

“But I pushed him away. I hurt him when I should have trusted him.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded. 

“I understand. But what’s important now is recognizing that your feelings of guilt are part of that same fear. You’re punishing yourself for something that, at the time, you thought was the right thing to do. You didn’t want to lose him, and pushing him away was your way of safeguarding your heart.”

Noah’s jaw clenched. He had been so frustrated with Lia over the years, but sitting here now, listening to her talk about her fear of losing him… he realized he understood that fear all too well. 

He wished she could see what he had always known, that no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Lia turned to him, her voice breaking.

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

He leaned towards her, her shoulder almost brushing hers. 

“You were never a burden and you know that,” Noah said quietly. “I’ve always wanted you around. You make me happy. You always have.”

Dr. Reynolds leaned back in her chair, giving them a moment to let that sink in.  

“Lia,” she said after a short while”, I want you to delve deeper into that fear. Do you think it's why you've always stopped yourself from doing certain things? Like telling Noah you loved him?"

Lia hesitated, her breath catching as memories flashed through her mind.

“Yes,” she exhaled. “Everything has been because of fear. Deep down, I always knew I loved him, but I was terrified of what that meant. If I admitted to myself that I was in love with him, with my best friend, everything would change. And… if I let myself love him fully, the risk of losing him would become real. I couldn’t handle that.” She made a pause to take a deep breath. “I fough hard to convince myself it was just infatuation—that it wasn’t as deep as it felt; that I just wanted to be the center of his attention because he was so perfect. But I was lying. It was love. I knew it the whole time, and that scared me more than anything.”

Noah felt his heart tighten in his chest. She had been carrying that fear the whole time, while he had been waiting—always waiting—for her to believe he wasn’t going anywhere. 

He reached out, his hand resting gently on hers.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “But I’ve spent so many years convincing myself that loving you was dangerous—that as soon as I let myself have you, I’d lose you.”

Dr. Reynolds kept on jotting down notes on her notepad before speaking again. 

“Lia, that’s a common reaction when someone is deeply afraid of loss. You never had a paternal figure, you mother didn’t provide you with the care and attention you deserved. Then, the people closest to you—Noah’s grandparents— also moved away. You mentioned this not long ago, right? When Noah’s grandfather passed away, his grandmother decided to return to Japan, and you felt that as a loss, too, as a kind of abandonment.”

“I know it wasn’t,” Lia said, her posture stiffening, discomfort creeping in as if she didn’t like the truth of it. “But I couldn’t stop myself from feeling it that way. Then I only had Noah... and I guess my attachment to him grew even more.”

“Of course. It makes sense, Lia. You’ve loved Noah since you were merely a kid—first as a friend, then as something more—so much that you feared the very thing you wanted most: being with him. But now that you’ve faced that fear, it’s important to remember that love isn’t something you need to protect yourself from.”

Dr. Reynolds let the words settle between them before leaning in, her gaze moving between Noah and Lia.

“Noah, I think you’ve been carrying your own set of feelings for a long time, too. While Lia was dealing with her fears, you were facing a different struggle, trying to support her. Isn’t that right?”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the familiar knot of tension there. He didn’t love talking about himself—he never did—but he knew today wasn’t the time to hold back.

“Yeah,” he admitted, “I’ve always felt like I had to prove myself, even with her. I’ve always been scared of not being enough for her. Like, maybe one day she’d realize I’m not this perfect guy she thinks I am. And, I guess that fear made me hold back sometimes, too.”

 “You both have been trying to protect each other in different ways—Lia by pushing you away, and Noah by trying to be perfect. But what’s clear is that the connection you two have, the love between you, has never really faltered. Even when you were afraid or apart, you didn’t let go.”

Lia wiped a tear from her cheek, processing the Dr.’s words. She turned to look at Noah, who was watching her with an intensity that made her heart ache. Without a word, she reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I never meant to make you feel like you had to prove yourself.”

Noah shook his head.

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re together now. We’ll figure this out—together.”

Dr. Reynolds leaned back, her gaze warm and understanding. 

“Both of you have been carrying fears and doubts for a long time, but you’re both ready to face them—together. Your connection, this love, is strong enough to handle the uncertainty. You’ve already proven that.”

Lia wiped at her eyes, nodding. The guilt hadn’t disappeared entirely, but it had loosened its grip. She wasn’t alone in this, and that was enough for now.

Dr. Reynolds shifted slightly in her chair, her expression softening as she turned her attention to Lia. 

“Lia, I want to acknowledge the progress you’ve made. You’ve been through an incredibly tough journey, not just emotionally but physically as well. The abuse you suffered in your previous relationship, the trauma from your childhood—growing up without a father and with a neglectful mother—those are heavy burdens. And on top of that, you’ve struggled with your relationship to medication.”

Lia glanced down, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. That was going to be a long day. She was sure the moment she got home, she would collapse into bed, terribly exhausted. The weight of everything she’d gone through still felt fresh at times, and talking about it was like watching it play on a TV, or worse—reviving it. 

“The meds did help at first,” she explained, “but then I got lost in them. I was dependent on them, and I started taking more than what I was prescribed.” Her voice quieted, as if confessing. Dr. Reynolds already knew, but she had told Lia a few times how important it was for her to verbalize it until it didn’t trigger her anymore. “I was using them to escape.”

 “That overdose was a wake-up call,” Dr. Reynolds said. Noah winced at the mention of it. “But what matters is that you’ve taken steps toward healing since then. You’ve made a brave choice in deciding to taper off the medication, and even though it’s not easy, it’s clear that you’re managing much better now, especially with the positive changes in your life.”

Lia’s gaze flickered to Noah, who gave her a reassuring smile. 

“It’s been hard,” she admitted, her voice soft but steady. “The withdrawal was terrible at first, and I didn’t think I could handle it. But things have been different… better since Noah and I started working things out. Being with him, in a healthy way, makes me feel like I don’t need the meds to be okay.”

Dr. Reynolds smiled warmly, her eyes filled with encouragement. 

“You’re taking control of your life, Lia. You’re moving away from dependency, both on the medication and on the emotional crutches you once used to cope with all the pain. And that’s an incredible achievement. You’re learning to rely on healthier mechanisms—your relationship with Noah, your art, and most importantly, yourself.”

Lia felt a lightness in her chest, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. The meds had numbed her for so long that she hadn’t trusted her own emotions or ability to cope without them. But now, without that fog, she was starting to feel everything—both the good and the bad—and it wasn’t as overwhelming as she’d feared. 

“I still have bad days, but… I don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore,” she said quietly. “Noah helps, but I think I’m helping myself, too.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded, pride evident in her expression. 

“That’s exactly what I want to hear. It’s not about never feeling anxious or sad again—it’s about learning to face those feelings without needing to numb them. You’ve proven to yourself that you can. And having a supportive partner like Noah is a huge help, but ultimately, the strength you’re finding is coming from within you.”

Noah’s hand tightened around hers. She wasn’t fixed, but for the first time in years, she didn’t feel broken either. She was healing—slowly, but surely.

Dr. Reynolds closed her notebook. 

“Keep going, Lia. You’re on the right path. You’ve come a long way, and it’s clear you’re capable of even more. The fact that you’re doing this—getting off the meds, facing your fears, building a healthier relationship with Noah—it’s all a testament to your resilience. You will get better.”

Lia nodded, a small, hopeful smile tugging at her lips. For the first time, she believed it.

As they stood to leave, Noah slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. 

Once out of the elevator and onto the street, Lia hurried toward the car, eager to get home. But before she could, Noah grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. He cupped her face in his hands, and without a word, leaned in and kissed her deeply, ignoring the people passing by and the noise of the street around them.

When he pulled back, Lia was breathless, her wide eyes gazing up at him, a spark of something new and beautiful shining in them.

“Whatever happened—whatever will happen—I don’t care. We’ll face it together. I’m not letting you go, Lia.”

She wanted to say, I’m not letting you go, either, but the words wouldn’t come. She was too awestruck by his closeness, overwhelmed by the love she felt for him and the weight of everything that had surfaced in therapy. So, instead, she just stared at him, her heart full.

Standing on her tiptoes, she grabbed two fistfuls of his hoodie and kissed him back, pouring everything she couldn’t say into the kiss. After a few moments, Noah pulled away, looking down at her with a soft intensity.

“Lia, am I clear?”

She nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He gently tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned down for another kiss, this one soft, reassuring. When he finally pulled away, he took her hand in his.

“Let’s go home. That was exhausting.”

A week later 

Every couple of minutes, Lia would push a stray lock of hair behind her ear, only for it to fall back into place again. She was sat cross-legged on the floor, her sketchbook balanced on her knee. Her pencil moved in quick strokes, pausing every so often as she bit her lip in concentration, only to resume with a renewed burst of energy. 

The late afternoon sun filtered through the blinds, casting warm streaks of golden light across the studio floor that reached the other end of the room, where Noah was sitting at the desk, focused on the apps open on his laptop and on Lia’s iMac. 

He’d brought over two mugs of hot chocolate earlier, one of which still steamed next to her on the floor, while his sat neglected on the desk. They had spent most of the morning out of the house—Noah had gone to the gym and then had met the boys at the studio while Lia had gone to one of her yoga sessions, then had met Emery at a nearby Starbucks. In just three days, they would be flying to Japan for the Bad Omens tour, followed by a well-deserved two-week rest at Grandma’s house, in the outskirts of Tokyo. 

Noah’s mind had started to feel mushy in the last thirty minutes. Growing distracted, he stole a glance at Lia, watching her as she worked. Her focus, the way she’d push that same strand of hair away from her face, the way her brow furrowed... Eventually, feeling his mind grow too fuzzy, he stood up, muttering something about needing to wash his face.

When he returned to the studio, Lia was in the same position, still immersed in her sketching with her back towards the door. Without saying a word, Noah walked over and sat behind her, sliding his legs around her body as he leaned in close. Tempted, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss in her hair. Then another one further below. And another one right below her ear. Lia squirmed in his arms but kept her pencil moving.

“Noah,” she mumbled, her lips curling into a half-smile, half-protest.

He didn’t answer, trailing another slow kiss down to the nape of her neck. Her shoulders tensed, then relaxed, a small laugh escaping her. 

“Stop,” she said, though the warmth in her voice betrayed her, as well as the way she titlted her neck to give him more access. 

“You’re not really convincing me,” he teased, brushing her hair aside to kiss the curve of her neck.

Lia twisted in his arms, still trying to focus on her sketchbook, but the pencil faltered as she squirmed again. She laughed, turning her head slightly to glance at him. 

“You’re such a distraction.”

“Guilty as charged,” Noah grinned, wrapping an arm around her middle and pushing her flush against him. He was practically caging her with his body. 

Instead of reaching for his own mug of hot chocolate still sitting on the desk, he lazily grabbed hers, taking a sip.

“Hey! That’s mine,” she protested.

“Yours is closer,” he replied with a shrug, taking another sip before handing it back to her. “What are you working on?” he asked, glancing over at her sketchbook.

Lia flipped through some of the pages, her pencil resting between her fingers. 

“I’ve been sketching ideas for Grandma’s garden,” she said, her voice soft with affection. “You know how much she loves that garden. Last time we were there, I planted some peonies and lilies around the trees by the entrance, remember? I’m thinking of adding more this time.”

Noah leaned closer, peering over her shoulder as she traced her fingers along a delicate sketch of flowers winding around a tree.

“I’ve been imagining how it would look if I added some kiku or fuji seeds. Chrysanthemums and wisteria,” she explained, her eyes lighting up. “And I was thinking… maybe we could place some traditional statues around, or even build a tiny pond.”

Her voice trailed off as she flipped to another page—a rough outline of the garden, filled with plants she had already painted with soft strokes of watercolor. The colors in the drawing—deep pinks from the peonies, pale purples from the lilies—looked almost alive, like they were already blooming.

“Look,” she said, pointing to a part of the sketch where she’d blended purple hues for the wisteria draping from a branch. “I’ve been working on the colors, trying to match how they’d actually look in the garden when they bloom. I can see it in my head—how the sunlight would hit the flowers, the way the colors would change depending on the time of day.”

Noah’s expression softened as he gazed at the painted page. 

“She’s going to love that,” he said, setting his mug down. “And it sounds like a great excuse for us to check out those famous Japanese gardens you wanted to visit last time but didn’t get a chance to.”

Lia’s face lit up, her eyes sparkling as Noah added, “I could even sketch some ideas for the pond, maybe add some stones and other features if we get inspired by those places."

Lia hummed thoughtfully, inspecting her own designs.

“After the tour, we’ll have time to explore more traditional spots—temples, hidden gardens in smaller towns. We can start with the city’s chaos, then unwind in the gardens and parks. Once we’ve soaked in all that inspiration, we can start working on Grandma’s garden," Noah said.

A smile tugged at her lips as she leaned back against his broad chest, feeling the comfort of his warmth.

“I like that plan,” she admitted, smiling. “I’m excited for the shows, but I think I’m more excited about seeing Japan… with you.”

He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. 

“Me too,” he murmured. “And Grandma’s going to love whatever you do to her garden.”

They sat in a peaceful silence for a moment. The room was cozy, filled with the scent of hot chocolate, and Noah’s hand rested warmly on her stomach, his cheek brushing against hers tenderly.

Lia finally broke the silence with a mischievous smile. 

“I have an idea,” she said, untangling herself from his arms and standing up. Noah made a disappointed sound but didn’t question her, merely raising an eyebrow as he watched her disappear into the other room.

When she returned, she held something behind her back, clearly up to no good. Noah’s curiosity piqued.

“What are you planning to do with that?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice as she revealed a sleeping mask she’d likely grabbed from her half-packed suitcase.

“Blindfolded drawing challenge” she announced, playfully slapping his shoulder as she sat down in front of him.

Noah grinned, catching on quickly. 

“Hm. Not what I expected, but I’m intrigued. So, do I get to blindfold you?”

“Nah-uh,” she said, keeping the mask out of his reach with a smirk. “I’m blindfolding you. If you’re going to help me with Grandma’s garden, I need to check your drawing kills.”

“I’m an amazing artist, Lia, in case you didn’t know,” he said, puffing his chest in mock pride. 

“Let’s prove it then,” she challenged, eyes sparkling.

“I’m ready to show you the real artist in the room,” Noah replied, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a competition. 

Lia scoffed. 

“Keep your ego in check, Sebastian.”

Lia grabbed her sketchbook and flipped to a blank page.

 “Okay, mister. This is your canvas,” she said, placing it in front of him.

Noah sat up straighter, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips as she stepped behind him, slipping the mask snugly over his eyes. Her hands brushed his neck, her fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary. Noah’s grin widened.

“You’re not secretly trying to turn me on with this, are you?” he teased.

She leaned down, her breath warm against his ear as she whispered, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Noah laughed. 

“Alright, alright. Just hand me the weapon of choice.”

Lia placed the pencil in his hand and sat back on her heels, watching as he hovered over the notebook with exaggerated focus. 

“Alright, Picasso, time to show me what you’ve got.”

“Okay, here we go,” he declared, setting the tip of the pencil to paper. He started drawing—if you could call it that. His lines were uneven, jagged, the kind of shaky curves you’d expect from someone who had no idea what they were doing.

Lia bit her lip, trying to stifle her laughter as she watched the absolute chaos unfold on the page.

“Are you… drawing a person?” she asked, half-choking on her giggles.

“Obviously!” Noah said with mock indignation. “Can’t you see it? It’s abstract.”

“Sure, sure. Very abstract,” she teased, covering her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing too loudly.

He added a few more crooked lines, lifting the pencil occasionally to think before continuing. When he was finally done, he sat back triumphantly, pulling off the sleeping mask. 

“And… voilà! A masterpiece.”

Lia leaned over to inspect the mess of squiggly circles and jagged lines. It vaguely resembled a potato with stick arms and what might have been a smile—or a grimace. She couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst into laughter. 

Noah looked down at it and shook his head, feigning disappointment. 

“Okay, I’ll admit, it’s not exactly what I imagined.” He pointed to one of the misshapen blobs. “That was supposed to be an eye.”

Lia wiped a tear from her eye, still giggling. 

“Yeah, I think this guy’s been through something.”

Noah sighed dramatically. 

“I need your artistic genius to fix this. Save my poor little guy.”

Lia laughed again but nodded, taking the pencil from him. 

“Not from there,” he said, opening his legs and gesturing for her to come closer. “Come here.”

She nestled between his limbs, leaning back against his chest. Noah’s arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on her shoulder. The warmth of his embrace made her smile as she began to work, reshaping his scribbles into something recognizable. Her pencil moved, sharpening lines, smoothing out shapes, and adding playful details until Noah’s chaotic doodle turned into a quirky little character with a goofy grin and big, wide eyes.

Noah watched her, his grin softening as he admired the way her hands worked so effortlessly. The look of focus on her face, her gentle smile as she fixed his mess—it was moments like this that made him fall in love with her even more.

When she finished, she leaned back to admire their combined effort. 

“There. Now he’s got some charm.”

“You really are a miracle worker.”

Lia glanced up at him, her eyes sparkling with playful pride. 

“I know.”

He reached out and gently moved that stray lock of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His fingers lingered, brushing against her cheek as his gaze softened.

“You’re amazing,” he said quietly, his voice low and full of warmth.

Lia’s breath hitched just for a second, her heart skipping a beat at the way he was looking at her. 

“So are you,” she whispered, leaning in closer.

Their lips met in a soft kiss, the warmth of the room wrapping around them like a blanket. It was a simple, quiet moment—the kind that felt like the calm before everything changed. In just two days, they would be off to Japan, diving headfirst into the chaos of the tour. But right now, in the quiet of Lia’s studio, it was just the two of them, savoring the comfort and coziness of the evening. 

When they pulled apart, Lia’s fingertips grazed the skin of his jaw, feeling the rough stubble that had started to grow.

Noah’s voice broke the comfortable silence.  

“Have you thought about letting others see your work?” 

Lia frowned, her fingers halting, barely brushing his chin.  

“What do you mean?”

“I know you sell your stuff online through your site, but I’m talking about something bigger. Like an exhibition, or maybe an illustrated book? I could help with that. I could write the story—like I did for the Concrete Jungle comics—and you could do the drawings.”

Lia’s shoulders slumped as she considered it, her brow creasing in hesitation.

“I don’t know if I’m qualified for that, Noah.”

“Come on.” He shook his head, not buying her self-doubt. “Your work is amazing. Okay, maybe I’m biased, but have you seen how fast our merch sells—the merch that has your art on it? And every time you put something new up on your store, it’s gone in less than forty-eight hours.” 

When he noticed the hesitation still on her face, he extended an arm in the air, as if to grasp all the piled notebooks and sketchbooks she had stored on her bookshelves and drawers. 

“People need to see all of this, Lia.”

Lia’s brown eyes flickered across the room, her eyes landing on one of the bigger sketchbooks resting against a stack of Bad Omens vinyls.

“Some of them are really dark, Noah.”

“You don’t have to show the dark stuff if you don’t want to—even though darkness is part of life,” he conceded, shrugging his shoulders. “But everything else? Lia, you’re an incredible artist. The things you draw, the ideas you come up with… They’re fascinating, to say the least, and people love seeing fascinating things, whatever it is,” he poked her cheek to get her full attention. “And there’s already a bunch of people that love your art, starting with me and our friends.”

Lia stayed quiet for a moment, her brown eyes searching his, still uncertain but intrigued.

“I already have a lot of work with Bad Omens…” she started, though her tone was more reflective than dismissive.

“Is that an excuse? Seriously? Considering your “boss” is your boyfriend?” 

That made her laugh, easing the tension. She snuggled closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the warmth of his body.

“Wouldn’t you like that, though? To exhibit your work? Let the world see what you’ve got tucked away in all those notebooks?” Noah’s voice was low and sincere. “You could even write something, turn it into an illustrated novel or whatever you want.”

Lia looked up at him, and for the first time, there was a glimmer of real possibility in her eyes.

“Yes. Yes, I would,” she said, her voice filled with quiet honesty.

Noah’s excitement was imminent. 

“I can help you with ideas. Maybe I can doodle something and you can improve it if you ever feel stuck or…”

Lia laughed, nudging him playfully. 

“I think you should stick to writing. I’ll handle the art,” she said, picking up the notebook they’d been using and shaking it, the potato drawing that Noah had made still on the page.

“Fair enough,” he agreed, wrapping his arms fully around her, squishing her and prompting her to drop the notebook. “But you can’t deny this was the best blindfolded potato drawing you’ve ever seen.”

“I’ll give you that,” she said with a giggle as she felt his lips and nose brush her neck. 

Lia leaned her head back onto his shoulder, and they sat there quietly in the peaceful warmth of her studio, perfectly content just being wrapped up in each other. Noah began swaying them gently, side to side, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of her. Outside, the sun had dipped lower, casting a soft, warm glow through the windows, wrapping the room in a golden haze.

“You fit perfectly in my arms,” Noah whispered, his lips brushing her ear.

Lia hummed contentedly, her heart full as she nuzzled her nose against his chin, tenderly.

“Because it’s where I’m meant to be.”

Noah’s heart swelled with something sweet and heavy, like warm honey filling every corner of his chest.

“Right answer,” he teased, before lightly tickling her sides, causing her to squirm and giggle in his grasp, but with no hope of escaping. He held her close, thrilled by her laughter, by the fact that she was his, completely and utterly.

He couldn’t wait to get on that plane and head to Japan, this time with her by his side not just as his best friend, but as his girl. The thought of them wandering through the vibrant cities and tranquil gardens together filled him with an excitement he hadn’t felt before.

He nibbled playfully at her earlobe before murmuring,

“Off to Japan in two days, baby. You ready?”

We're off to Japan in the next chapter, babes!! 🥳

— prev. chapter | chapter nine

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[ironstrange1991]

A Night Like No Other

+18 Smut

Pairing: Doctor!Strange, Defender!Strange, Supreme!Strange x Female!Reader

Synopsis: It's Valentine's day night and you prepare a special night for your Stephens.

Word Count: 9,5k

Warnings: Polyamorous relationship dinamics, a little jealousy, mostly brain rot SMUT: oral sex with male and female receiving, vaginal and anal sex, double penetration, creampie, cum eating (There's probably more but I don't remember)

A/N: I'm so happy to finally be posting this fic. I know it's two months late, but I've put so much work into it that I really can't believe it's ready. I really hope you guys like it and have a great read ;)

"Not this one." You murmured, looking at your endless collection of heels in your closet. "No, definitely not this one. Maybe… this one." You took a pair of red sandals in your hands, but then changed your mind when your eyes found the perfect pair you knew you were looking for. A pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps.

You stood on tiptoe to reach them and then you smiled mischievously to yourself heading to the bedroom bench and put them on. It had been a while since you wore those and you couldn't deny that you felt so powerful in them.

You folded your legs on the bench, positioning your feet so that your heels were clearly visible and took a photo, sending it directly to your three main contacts and giggling to yourself while writing the most cliché pick-up line you could think of at that moment.

WHEN YOU GUYS GET HOME TONIGHT, THIS IS ALL I'LL BE WEARING. ♥️

You replicated the message to the other two Stephens, reading it out loud to make sure the message was clear enough: You were waiting for the three of them that night to celebrate Valentine's Day.

You remembered perfectly the fiasco that was the last one. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but it definitely could have been a lot better. It had all happened because you weren't clear enough about what you wanted for the night, or at least you convinced yourself that it was your fault. You found you always put the blame on yourself so you didn't need to blame one Stephen or the other, but the truth was that navigating between the ego and jealousy of the three of them was the hardest thing you've ever had to do in your life.

It didn't take long for your cell phone to buzz with a response.

I WOULD ENJOY SO MUCH MORE IF THE SURPRISE WAS JUST FOR ME, BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME TONIGHT.

You didn't need to read the name at the top of the message to know it was Supreme, but even if it was hidden behind jealousy, you could capture the anxiety he felt about returning home and it made you smile from ear to ear. God, you had been with the three Stephens for a little over a year and a half, but you seriously doubted you would ever get used to the way they made you feel. Every time they came home you felt butterflies in your stomach, each loving message made your heart flutter in your chest. It was beautiful and scary at the same time.

You left your shoes on the floor next to the bench and went back to the closet, slipping into jeans and a jumper.

As you were grabbing your bag and keys and heading to the doors to leave you heard the familiar hiss of a portal opening and a smile played on your lips before you saw it was just Wong.

"You shouldn't look so disappointed every time I come in. It's offensive." He said. You never knew when Wong was being serious or not, so you rushed to defend yourself.

"Today is Valentine's Day. I have reasons to be anxious for my boyfriends to get home."

Wong nodded as he dragged some boxes and then closed the portal. "Good thing you reminded me. That's reason enough for me not to want to be less than half a planet away from this Sanctum tonight. As if three Stranges wasn't reason enough."

"You say that, but I know deep down you can't live without Stephen, Wong." You smirked, unable to hold your tongue.

He scoffed "Yeah, right. Defender isn't that bad. The other two are the problem."

"Do not tell me that." You agreed "I'm going to the grocery store to get some things to prepare dinner. Do you want me to bring you something? I'm going to go near the Sandwich bar that sells that tuna melt that you love so much..."

"It's very kind of you to offer, but unfortunately - or fortunately - I'm returning to Kamar Taj."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye."

"Bye."

When you parked in parking lot you heard your cell phone ringing and ran to answer it when you saw Stephen's name on the display.

"Hello you"

"Sending indecent photos to distract me from work. You should be embarrassed, sweetheart."

"Really? And what's indecent about the photo of my feet wearing those shoes?"

You can almost see him smirking on the other end of the line before replying, "Other than the message you sent with it, you mean?"

You giggled to yourself "And how effective was my attempt to make you want to come home sooner?"

"Hm, very effective."

You were surprised by the sound of a horn and two drivers fighting each other.

"Where are you?" Stephen asked.

"Walmart’s parking lot. I came to get some things to prepare for our romantic Valentine's Day dinner that you guys have been owing me since last year."

"That's great. And how romantic will this dinner be?" He teased.

"Very romantic. The kind where you have to dress all nice for me and wear that cologne of yours that I love."

"Noted. It's a shame I'm going to have to share you tonight, I'd much rather have you all to myself."

You found yourself rolling your eyes and agreeing one hundred percent with Wong, Stephen and Supreme were indeed the problem.

"Behave yourself" You scolded him, taking your bag and walking towards the store entrance. "It's important for me to have you three tonight. I've wanted this for so long..."

"You just had us together last week" He groaned in frustration.

"I'm not talking about... sex, Stephen" You had to lower your voice to say the word as you picked up the cart and headed towards the produce section.

"Really? I must have been fooled by the photo and message you sent half an hour ago."

"Shut up. Of course sex is a big part of tonight, but it's not just about that. It's about being together, talking, listening to music and having good wine."

Stephen hummed "Romance."

"Exactly. Just because you've already won over the girl doesn't mean you don't need to be romantic anymore, Stephen."

He chuckled "I leave the romanticism to Defender, he's better than me at that... and pretty much everything else apparently."

You sighed, finishing picking up the vegetables and heading towards the refrigerators where you hoped to find a good piece of meat to roast with them.

"I love you, Stephen, but please, no display of jealousy tonight. Please?"

"Okay, I'll behave, I promise."

"Thank you."

"I need to go. See you tonight, love."

"See you, Steph."

You turned off your cell phone and put it in your pocket and dedicated yourself to getting the rest of the things that were missing and walked towards the cashier.

...

You weren't exactly a great cook like Defender, but you always had a willingness to learn and some skill so you could even say that you were good in the kitchen.

You chopped the vegetables that consisted of carrots, onions, green beans, broccoli and tomatoes and dedicated yourself to seasoning the meat and put everything together in a pan wrapped with aluminum foil and put it in the oven for what you knew would be at least 2 hours.

While you waited, you decided to take a shower and took the opportunity to shave every inch of your body to make it smooth to the touch. You blow-dried your hair and used a styling mousse and put it in curlers. You took the opportunity to do all the steps of your skin care and applied lotion all over your body, taking the opportunity to use some body oil to give your skin a little shine. You didn’t even notice time passing while you were distracted taking care of yourself and being surprised by the alarm you had set on your cell phone so as not to let you forget about the roast in the oven.

You put on a robe and went downstairs.

The roast was practically done, so you got rid of the aluminum foil, drizzled the meat with more olive oil and just a little fleur de sel and returned to the oven to brown.

When you heard your cell phone buzzing you wiped your hands and rushed to read the message and smile to yourself feeling your heart fluttering in your chest.

ALWAYS A TEASE, BABY. CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME, JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES AND I'LL BE IN YOUR LOVELY ARMS. LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

You dedicated yourself to preparing the sauce for your pasta and left the pan full of water and salt on the stove, but besides that, everything needed to be put on hold because it was already past 6pm and you knew they would arrive at any moment and although the dinner was an important part of your evening, you were determined that sex should come first.

You turned off the roast, but kept it in the oven and prepared the table with a beautiful red tablecloth, positioning the plates and cutlery, glasses, and, of course, the candlesticks. A romantic dinner needs candlelight.

Once everything was organized, you went upstairs to finish getting ready. You let down your hair that fell in perfect waves to the middle of your back and put just a little gloss on your lips deciding that there was no reason to wear makeup since soon you would be with your face being pushed into the mattress. You smiled mischievously to yourself feeling the desire built inside you. You put on your heels and kept your promise not to wear anything other than them, keeping only the robe on until at exactly 7pm you heard the familiar squeak of a portal.

You smiled, feeling your cheeks get slightly warm and, taking off your robe, you left the room towards the entrance hall.

...

Stephen smiled to himself as he read the text you sent him. He would have replied it instantly if he hadn't been stuck in a meeting with the Avengers. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers were going over all the details about the next mission and although Stephen knew the importance of resolving the problem as soon as possible, he was not at all happy about having to participate.

Supreme was at the meeting too, and Stephen could see the smile on his lips as he read a message on his cell phone that Stephen was sure was exactly the same as the one he had read. You wouldn't make the mistake of not being democratic in your provocation, not after the events of last Valentine's Day. It was extremely important to you that the three of them knew that you loved them equally.

Supreme quickly typed a response without bothering to be discreet, but Stephen preferred something more intimate, so he just put his cell phone back in the pocket of his robes.

"We will be in unknown territory, dealing with forces of which we have no knowledge..." Steve Rogers was pointing out the importance of concentrating on every detail of the plan, but was then cut off by Stark.

"Yeah, yeah, supernatural stuff. That's why we'll be taking with us not one, but two wizards."

Stephen rolled his lips, uncomfortable with the use of the wrong term. He wasn't a wizard and Stark knew that because he had already explained the difference a hundred times, but now Stephen was almost certain that Stark was referring to him that way to provoke him. Supreme, on the other hand, interrupted him, deciding to explain to the small Avengers audience.

"The correct term is sorcerer. Wizards are born with magic, we learned it with a lot of study and effort, although for us it came almost naturally."

Stark rolled his eyes, but continued with the explanation.

When the meeting ended Stephen managed to sneak into an empty room and call you. He wanted much more than just calling, he wanted to leave immediately, but first he needed to get back to Kamar Taj.

Once he and Supreme managed to leave the Avengers Tower, they headed directly there where they met with Wong and Defender and discussed matters relating to the maintenance of the Kamar Taj itself, the teaching and training of students, and the protection of the three Sanctums of power of the Earth. When the small informal meeting ended, Stephen looked at the clock realizing that it must already be almost 7pm in NY and was quick to decline Wong's offer to stay for tea.

"We have an appointment at home." Stephen explained evasively, but Wong smirked as if he knew more than Stephen could imagine.

"Sure, sure. Valentine's day and all. Y/n is planning a special night, I imagine."

Stephen nodded. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"You can call us if anything happens, as always." Defender added to what Supreme contradicted.

"Definitely not tonight. There are dozens of other masters you can call, Wong. We're off for the night and probably a good part of tomorrow as well."

Wong didn't bother to respond. He just closed some books that were on the table and organized them into a pile, picking them up and heading out the door.

"What a fucking day! I thought it would never end." Supreme complained.

"Let's go home" Defender said with a tired sigh and Stephen opened a portal being welcomed by the delicious smell of food and the realization of finally being home.

...

Defender Strange was sure that nothing in the world could be better than coming home and being greeted by his wife, but when he saw you coming down the stairs completely naked wearing only the heels you showed him in the photograph you sent earlier, he didn't know what to think. That fulfills all his fantasies.

You were beautiful. You are beautiful. The curvaceous body, the full breasts, the long hair cascading down to the middle of your back, little or no makeup other than a pink gloss on your lips and the typical smile of someone who promises and wants to be extremely provocative, but in reality it’s a shy little thing.

He didn't know how he was looking at you, much less how the other Stephens were reacting to that vision of paradise in front of them, but you stopped at the bottom of the stairs and your cheeks turned red.

"So?" Your voice sounded low.

Supreme took the initiative and approached you and touched your face affectionately and kissed your lips. Defender felt a pang of jealousy when you and Supreme were close, but he was used to not showing it and on the other hand - however contradictory it was - he couldn't deny that he liked seeing you with the other Stephens, that always turned him on.

"You look beautiful, honey."

Your cheeks turned a darker shade of red that Defender found charming.

"I confess the idea seemed sexier when I sent the message. Now I'm too self-conscious."

"You look beautiful" Defender and Stephen responded together and then laughed softly at the situation.

"Come here, give me a kiss, sweetheart. I loved the reception you prepared for us. You know I always love everything you do for us."

You took the hand he offered you and walked closer. Stephen grabbed the back of your head and pulled you to his lips and Defender felt his cock throb inside his pants. He wanted you so much. Ever since he saw that message, all he could think about was the moment he would have you on his lap riding him.

"I made dinner. Well, it's almost ready. There are still a few things to finish."

"I guess we can think about food later, don't you think?" Supreme suggested. "You have other needs that I want you to satisfy first." He smirked "That text... did things to me, honey."

Defender smirked. Supreme was so cheesy sometimes.

He finally approached you and touched your face.

"So bold sending us that photo when I know at home you're super shy, baby."

You blushed even more.

"Did you like it?"

"I loved the surprise. I loved that you prepared something special for our Valentine's Day. I love you so much, Y/n. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not grateful for having you in my life."

You wrapped your arms around his neck. "Defender Strange... how can I not love you when you say those things?"

He chuckled watching you hold his hand and take Stephen's hand and adjust it to hold them in one hand, while taking Supreme's hand with the other "Come on, let's go up stairs."

...

The master bedroom, Stephen's room, was the largest room in the Sanctum. Supreme had a hard time accepting Stephen staying with it, but he was aware that it made sense. For better or worse, Stephen was the Doctor Strange of that universe. That room was the setting for almost every night you had sex together for obvious reasons, it was the biggest room, it had the biggest bed and it felt the most right somehow and Supreme felt the familiar twist in his stomach caused by anxiety when you led the three of them directly to that room.

It was something difficult to explain and he never talked about it with the other Stephens - although he was sure the others felt the same way - but the reality was that he loved sharing you. He loved watching the other Stephens fuck you even though it also filled him with jealousy. Jealousy was hot.

Supreme still remembered the first time, it was your birthday and you had sex together for the first time. It was unforgettable, but everyone was so nervous and insecure that it was not possible to fully appreciate the moment. Now it was different. Foursomes became a common thing in your lives and every time it was incredible. Supreme always had the best orgasms when you let him cum in your mouth while he watched Defender and Stephen fucking you. It was so fucking hot. He was sure he could get stressed and jealous sometimes, but he could never be bored with the life you led. He often felt like he was living inside a porn movie. In the best way.

"Tell me, honey, what do you want to do with us tonight?" He teased when he realized how unsure you were about your next steps.

You bit your lip and then glanced to the two levitation cloaks still tied to his and Stephen's shoulders.

"Could you leave us alone for a moment?" You asked, gently stroking his blue cloak.

The two sentient relics flew out the door and slammed the door on the way out. His cloaky looking particularly offended at being left out.

"I'm pretty sure he wanted to stay and watch." Supreme joked, drawing a soft laugh from your lips.

"He's a brat. So different from Cloaky."

"The relic acquires the owner's behavior." Stephen teased.

"It's explained then" You said, approaching Supreme and kissing him with the passion he would never get used to. Sometimes it was impossible to understand how you could love him so much when he knew how complicated he was. But you loved him and that was always very clear in the way you touched him and especially kissed him.

You broke the kiss and smiled at him, "I love you. I know I say it every day, but today it's even more important to say it."

Supreme opened his mouth to respond, but you were ripped away from him by Stephen's arms, who pulled you to his chest in a clear display of jealousy. You giggled. You loved that. Supreme knew very well. You hated it when they fought - and they fought all the time - but you loved it all the same. You loved the triple attention you received, the kisses, the caresses and vows of love you received every day.

"Now you're going to have to say that to me too, sweetheart. You know I'm a jealous man." Stephen teased and you let out small giggles.

You held his face in your hands and spoke softly. "And I thought Supreme was the most jealous of the Stephens."

"Don't underestimate me, love."

You smiled openly, "I love you, Steph. You know how much."

He smiled proudly, "Then show me, kiss me and call me what you call me when we're alone."

Supreme felt the familiar tightening in his chest that jealousy caused in him and you gave Stephen a reprimanding glare.

"Come on, sweetheart. They know."

Supreme rolled his eyes when you smiled in surrender and kissed Stephen hard.

"I love you Steph. My Stephen."

He smiled smugly, but it was cut off by your direct order. "Now get in that shower, because I love you, but you're all sweaty."

He chuckled nodding in agreement "Yes ma'am."

Supreme even tried to stop himself from laughing, but he couldn't. However, you approached him right away.

"You too, Stephen. You three are sweaty."

He smirked "Want me to get in the shower with him?"

Defender chuckled, but said nothing.

"The idea is temptingly sexy, but I think you'd better use your shower."

He agreed, but couldn't help but point out "I thought we would get straight to the best part, that you were missing us so much and couldn't wait to have us in your arms."

"I am and that was the idea, but reality often prevails over fantasy and the three of you are smelling the heat of Kathmandu."

Ouch. "Okay, I'm coming." He said surrendering. Stephen was already in the shower, the sound of the water indicating that Supreme was behind in the race to get back into your arms first.

...

You were super self-conscious about being the only naked person there and wearing those heels on top of that. The sexy image of the situation that popped into your head when you sent the text to them was long gone, but all it took was a smile from Defender to make you feel better.

"I'm still surprised by how naturally you can deal with the three of us, you know? It's almost as if you were made for us." He said pulling you into his arms.

"Almost?" You asked with a raised eyebrow, to which he smiled in surrender.

"Definitely made for us." He corrected and kissed you tenderly.

"Practice makes perfect."

"In our case, I would say that time has helped a lot. Do you remember last year?" He teased to which you grimaced.

"Don't even remind me."

He laughed softly "I'm going to take a shower too. Wait for me. Promise?"

You smiled throwing yourself onto the bed "I'll be right here. Don't be long."

You lay down on the bed, pulling Stephen's pillow close to your nose so you could bask in his scent and a victorious smile played on your lips as you realized for the thousandth time that you were about to go to bed with three Stephens. Sex was important. God, the sex was incredible, but what really enchanted you about it was the realization of being loved by Stephen. Some people are never loved, you were loved and not just once but three times and by the same man. That meant something.

Defender always talked to you about how he believed that the love you felt for each other went beyond the barriers of universes and you couldn't say how, but you were sure he was right. You loved Stephen the moment you first saw him and it was like that with Defender and Supreme and god help you, you would never say that to them, but if ten more Stephens appeared in your universe, you would have no choice but to love them too.

You were so absorbed in your own thoughts that you even noticed that Stephen had gotten out of the shower, only realizing it when his baritone voice pulled you out of your reverie.

"A penny for your thoughts." He teased and you smiled, rolling over on the bed so you could see him. He was wet from the shower, the towel tied around his waist but hanging dangerously below his v line, his hair wet and carelessly pulled back.

"God, you're a beautiful bastard."

He raised his eyebrow and a cocky smile played on his lips.

"So that's what you were thinking about? How beautiful I am?"

You rolled your eyes dramatically. "Don't be cocky. Come on, put your tongue to do something more productive than bragging."

He threw himself on the bed, crawling over you and tickling the sides of your ribs, which made you giggle.

"No, please Steph, I can't..."

"Not so bossy now, are you?" " He teased "Then tell me how you want me to use my tongue then."

You held his face in your hands. “Like this.”

You kissed him hard and he hummed adorably on your lips, but soon after he took control of the kiss and started to grind an obvious erection on your thigh.

"Look what you do to me. You haven't even touched me yet and I'm already like this. To be honest, you've made me hard since you sent me that photo. You have no idea how much I wanted to abandon what I was doing and come home to fuck you."

You smiled smugly and kissed his lips again "It worked then."

"You have no idea" He said on your lips "But I would rather have this night just for the two of us."

You pouted "Behave. You know how important it is for me to have these moments for the four of us, especially on special dates like today."

He smirked "I know you're dirty and insatiable, that's why you need three of me to handle you."

You felt your face flush, but there was no reason to deny it. "It's true, but it's only because I love you so much. That's what I was thinking actually, how I love you so much to the point of loving three versions of you."

He kissed you and went back to grinding himself on your thigh. He was trying to hold back, but you knew he was dying to have you and knowing that made you feel so powerful.

"Sometimes I think I don't deserve so much love..."

"Shhh, of course you do. You deserve that and more. And you can accuse me as much as you want of being insatiable for wanting three of you, but we both know that you like sharing me in bed."

Now it was his turn to blush and that made a petulant smile appear on your lips.

"Do not tease me." He warned, but you weren't about to go back on your words.

"Why not? What are you going to do? Fuck me senseless? Hard and rough? Thank god, that’s what I want."

He held your chin tight. "That's what you're going to get if you don't behave."

"Then I won't behave." You threatened and Stephen pulled you into his lips, but the two of you were interrupted by the creak of the door opening and Supreme's voice.

"And why won't you behave, honey?" He asked and you just smiled watching him approach. He was only dressed in sweatpants and his face was slightly flushed showing that he had shaved before coming back to you. He threw himself on the bed and opened his arms waiting for you to throw yourself into them and Stephen rolled to the other side of the bed letting you have your moment together.

You hugged him and he wrapped you in his arms kissing you hard and then looked at Stephen waiting for an answer.

"She's being a brat and I warned her there will be consequences." Stephen informed Supreme and you laughed, turning to face him, but letting yourself be enveloped and pulled closer by Supreme's arms.

"Maybe I want to be punished." You confessed and Supreme groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"What did we do to deserve a girl like you, honey?"

You let out a small laugh "I hope you mean that positively."

He giggled "Always."

Stephen laughed softly and Supreme pulled you into his lips again. You let yourself be guided, your hands touched his face and a satisfied hum escaped your lips.

"You shaved. I prefer it like this." You said with a smirk to which he chuckled.

"You live with a Stephen who has a goatee and another who has a full beard but can't handle a little stubble?

You shook your head, stroking his face. "It's not the same. I like having a clean shaved Stephen." You rum your index finger on his chin "It's smooth"

Stephen giggled and you rolled closer to him pulling him to your lips “I like the differences.”

"Yeah, we know" They both laughed softly and you took turns holding their lips and hands and that felt like heaven to you. There was no other word to explain it.

Defender arrived a minute later, his hair loose as it rarely was and wearing a pair of pajama pants that made his v line and a prominent erection very visible. You wondered if he had been hard the whole time or if seeing you in bed with Stephen and Supreme had immediately left him in that state. You knew well that Defender liked to observe. All three liked it.

"We've been waiting for you, baby. Come here." You reached out to him and sat on the bed between the Stephens to welcome him with a kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he let himself be pulled on top of you, your legs opening for him to settle between them to which he moaned softly.

"She's so greedy" Stephen told Supreme "...and so fucking perfect. Fuck, sweetheart. I need you."

You smiled smugly on Defender's lips and gently pushed him to let you stand up.

"So tell me what you guys want. I confess I spent the day thinking about sucking your cocks."

"So fucking dirty." Defend hissed.

"She was never a saint, but I admit she got a lot worse with your arrival." Stephen replied with that beautiful smile on his lips.

You loved that. You loved it when they talked about you like that between them, you loved seeing them understanding each other and talking to each other as if they were a single person - which in fact they were - it was a strong turn on for you.

Supreme smiled seeming to read your mind. "I think she might start with that, don't you? I can only speak for myself, but I've been dying for a blowjob ever since I saw that text."

Stephen nodded "Yeah, me too. But I'm going to want more than a simple blowjob and she knows that."

Defender chuckled and you pouted feigning innocence.

"Are you going to let these two mean Stephens abuse me, baby?"

He cupped your face in his hands and hummed condescendingly, "More than that, baby. I'll love watching."

You could have cum with just those words. You were so wet between your legs that your thighs were sticking together and you could smell your arousal. All that teasing, the game you played was exactly what worked for you, it was what made you love having the three of them at the same time and it worked perfectly when they behaved themselves and tonight they were more than determined to behave, apparently.

"I think I saw a blush on these cheeks." Stephen teased and you stuck your tongue out at him.

"Shut up and get comfortable you three."

They laughed and got comfortable on the bed, sitting next to each other and that sight never failed to impress you. It was so pornographically glorious. You smiled to yourself and tied your hair in a bun with the same determination as a warrior preparing for a fight. You were definitely a woman on a mission.

"Come here, sweetheart, I want to be first." Stephen asked, extending his hand to you. You crawled over to him and kissed him sweetly and your hands freed him from the towel. He raised his hips enough for you to pull and throw it on the floor. He was so hard already. The tip was red and slightly sticky with precum. You couldn't resist, so you held him tight and kissed his head feeling your eyes close and a moan of satisfaction escape your lips as the other Stephens giggled.

"Don't get cock drunk yet, honey, there are two more cocks to suck." Supreme teased.

Stephen held your face, taking his cock in his hand and impatiently directing it into your mouth. "Take it, sweetheart. Give me a hard suck."

You opened your mouth big for him and did as he asked, emptying your cheeks to suck hard, which made him moan outrageously loud. "Oh yeah, sweetheart. Show me what you can do."

But he didn't give up control, on the contrary, he held the back of your head and pushed you against his dick making you swallow it whole and gag in the process.

"Look at that!" Supreme exclaimed and you couldn't see him now with your eyes closed, but you'd bet all your chips that he had his cock in his hands, jacking off as he watched. He was dirty like that, and you loved that about him.

You could barely breathe with your mouth stuffed with Stephen's cock like that, tears welled up in your eyes and ran down your face.

"She takes it so perfectly." Defender pointed out. "She was made for us, wasn’t she?"

Stephen moaned in satisfaction, taking his cock out of your throat to let you breathe.

"I could cum in your throat right now. That's how good this mouth in my cock feels, sweet girl."

You coughed and ran your hands over your face to wipe away the tears and smiled. "I love when you call me like that."

Stephen smirked, "Yeah? You love everything I do to you, sweetheart. Now come here and give me a kiss before I let you go with them."

You let yourself be pulled to his lips and kissed him hard, your fingers tangling in his hair.

"I love you." You said between his lips.

"I love you too. Go now and make me proud."

"Always" You assured, letting yourself be enveloped by Defender's arms. He kissed you hard. Harder than usual and his fingers tangled in your hair and your knees went weak.

"Seeing you with them drives me crazy, baby. I can't deny that I like this more than I should." He confessed in your ear, but loud enough for the others to hear.

"They like it too" You teased throwing a mischievous glance at the other two. "Let's give them something to watch."

Defender smirked letting you free him from his pants. He wasn't wearing any underwear and you doubted there was anything sexier than a handsome man wearing pants without underwear. You threw his pants on the floor and planted a kiss on his lips before spitting into your hand and holding him, moving up and down slowly, keeping eye contact with him the entire time.

One of the things that became increasingly clear to you as time went by was that they were different in almost every way even though they were the same person. With Defender what worked was calmness, glances, affection. He might fuck you harder eventually, but almost every time you made love it was slow, calm and delicious. And that was how he liked to be touched.

He bit his lip to hold back a moan when you bent down and gave a long lick from the base to the tip, stopping to flick your tongue on the head.

You smiled proudly. "Don't hold back, baby. Let me hear you. I like hearing how happy I'm making you." You asked, taking him in your mouth and sucking slowly, using your tongue all the time the way he liked.

He moaned louder, but still restrained. One of his hands grabbed your hair, but he didn't push. Defender never pushed. "So, so happy, baby. Shit... this lips feels so good wrapped around my cock like that."

You felt his cock throbbing in your mouth and you took it out of your mouth smiling your best smile at him. "Yeah? Your cock feels amazing pulsing in my mouth too. But I don't want you to cum yet, baby."

He shook his head "It doesn't matter, you know I have as many rounds as you want to give you."

"Shit, that sounded presumptuous even to us, but coming from him it sounds even weirder." Supreme teased, but Defender completely ignored him pulling you into his lips.

"Tell me you love me." He asked softly on your lips and you buried your face in his neck, surrendering to his charm.

"More than anything, baby. Love you so much."

Defender held your chin and kissed you softly. "Better not let Supreme hear that." He said with a provocative smile on his lips that wasn't really like him, but that made him even more handsome.

Impatient, Supreme took your hand pulling you from Defender's lap gently but insistently. "Come here, honey. I've waited too long."

You couldn't help but giggle at the serious way he said it. As if you were somehow making him suffer by waiting his turn.

You let yourself be manhandled and he positioned you straddling his lap. "Always you, isn't it, Supreme Strange?"

He smirked positioning his shaking hands to the sides of your neck and pulling you into a hungry kiss.

"You complain, but you love the way I am, honey."

You could have rolled your eyes, but you didn't want to provoke him so you didn't. "If what you want is for me to suck your cock, you should try to be less cocky."

He gave you that beautiful sideways smile of his, "But I know you want to blow me as much as I want it."

"Seriously, just for tonight, can't you be less of yourself, Supreme?" Stephen complained and although you weren't looking at him, you could almost hear his eyes rolling.

"You better get to work, honey."

You let out a small giggle and dismounted his lap, helping him get rid of the pants he was wearing and immediately took him in your hands. He was so deliciously hard for you, the tip wet with precum from being stimulated by his own hands. You licked the tip to savor the salty taste and this time you couldn't stop your eyes from rolling back, but for an entirely different reason.

"Oh fuck, honey. Put it all in your mouth, please. Suck it hard, make me cum. I don't care. You know I'm going to stay hard for you anyway."

You did exactly what he asked, adding one hand to his balls, stimulating him as much as possible, rotating the other hand at the base while sucking and licking. Taking your time and enjoying it as much as him.

"So delicious... fuck, honey, keep going just like that. Gonna fill your mouth with milk. I spent all day thinking about doing that."

You hummed contentedly and went even deeper, taking him all the way to the back of your throat and hearing the sounds of approval from the other Stephens at the same time as you felt the mattress dipping and Stephen moving in your peripherals.

"Get your pretty ass up for me, sweetheart." Stephen asked, slapping your ass cheek and you obeyed, moaning loudly when you felt his tongue lapping your folds, the friction of his goatee making you see stars. You immediately started moving your hips against his mouth and he grabbed your thighs, correctly taking the action as encouragement.

Supreme grabbed your hair with one of his hands and pushed you against his cock making you swallow him completely.

"F-Fuck... take it, honey. Take all of it. Oh shit." He moaned loudly spilling down your throat and making your eyes water. He took his cock out of your mouth allowing you to vocalize the pleasure that Stephen's fierce tongue was providing you now that he was sucking your ass.

This was new for you and you didn't understand how it could be so pleasurable, but Stephen had the gift of addicting you to new and different things and you loved it. Sex with them could never get boring.

Supreme patted your cheek and ran his hand through the hair that insisted on falling across his forehead. "That mouth of yours is otherworldly, honey. I just put my dick inside it and I cum."

You smiled, but before you could respond a moan broke through your lips when Stephen added his fingers to the sum of the stimulation, penetrating you with them.

"That's it. Moan loudly for us. Let us hear how good it feels." Supreme teased, holding your chin with one hand and making you suck his index finger.

“Delicious,” Stephen rasped. "I could spend the whole night like this."

But contrary to what he said, he pulled away enough to direct his cock at your entrance and forced it slowly. "So fucking tight. No matter how many times I fuck this pussy, it's always so tight."

You moaned loudly feeling yourself being impaled by his cock and Supreme smirked at something Defender said and walked away letting him get closer to you.

"I want your mouth a little more, baby. Please." He asked, kneeling on the bed in front of you. You placed your hands on his thighs and took him in your mouth again, sucking voraciously. It was hard to be gentle when Stephen was fucking you so hard.

Defender took your hair in his hands and let himself be carried away by the moment. "Fuck baby, so good. You suck my cock so good."

You kept your eyes open to watch him, he had his eyes fixed on Stephen fucking you and you knew that was exactly what was making his dick throb so hard in your mouth. The obscenity of it all.

"Oh God, baby. I love watching you get fucked like this. So fucking hot."

Stephen slapped your ass in agreement. "Come on, sweetheart, suck his cock and make him cum in your mouth. I want to see it." He ordered, increasing the strength of his thrusts, which became increasingly irregular.

Defender moaned loudly and you felt his thighs shaking. "Oh baby... gonna cum... oh yeah baby, can I cum in your mouth?"

You hummed positively and a part of your brain thought it was cute that he had even bothered to ask.

"F-Fuck... oh come on baby... take it..." His voice sounded broken as hot cum filled your mouth. A lot of it.

"So fucking good..." He mumbled between moans, caressing your face and taking his cock out of your mouth. "Let me see it."

You obeyed, opening your mouth so he could see his cum inside and then swallowing and sticking your tongue out at him dramatically so he could see.

"Beautiful. So fucking beautiful." He murmured, bending down to kiss you and Stephen moaned loudly, giving two harder thrusts and then spilling himself inside you.

"Oh fuck, sweetheart... You're too good to be true." He confessed breathlessly and then pulled out. His cum dripping down your abused pussy.

Your legs shook and you fell face down on the mattress, but Supreme pulled you into his arms.

"Look what you do to us. It's impossible to last when you're so irresistible."

You smiled, pulling him to your lips. "Is this a complaint?"

You heard Defender and Stephen giggling and the sound filled your heart with such great love with the realization that you were having this moment together and they weren't fighting each other, on the contrary, you could swear that at that point they were practically united against you and you didn't know if you could take it.

"And what man would be crazy to complain about having a woman like you, honey?"

You pulled him back to your lips while squeezing your thighs together. They could have had theirs, but you needed to have yours and if possible, you wanted to have it more than once.

Supreme got the message quickly and got between your legs, spreading them with his arms and holding them open while he eat you. He didn't care that Stephen had cum in you seconds before and the notion of that only made the oral even more pleasurable. Your back arched and your eyes closed immediately and a pornographic moan escaped your lips. You could cum right then if he continued, but Supreme had other plans. He licked your ass, leaving enough saliva there and directed his dick at your entrance, penetrating it slowly.

You still remembered the first time you had anal, it was with Supreme and you were so uncertain about the whole thing, but now you loved it, you loved the strange sensation and the peculiar pleasure that took over once he was inside you. . You liked it so much that you wondered if there was something wrong with you since women aren't supposed to enjoy it that much.

Supreme moaned loudly, laying on top of you slowly and giving your body time to get used to the sensation, then he grabbed your thigh and pulled it so that you intertwined your legs around his waist, allowing him to go even deeper.

"Oh Stephen... feels so good." You confessed, wrapping your arms around him. "Move, please."

He did as you asked, moving slowly at first, but gradually increasing the intensity of his thrusts until he reached a frantic rate.

"Y-Yes, oh yes, Steph, just like that, fuck me just like that..."

He took your lips in a desperate kiss, fucking you at the same rhythm incessantly, the bed creaked, the headboard hit the wall and your moans were so loud. Next thing you know, you had one of your hands between you rubbing your clit to get as much stimulation as possible and your legs were shaking and you felt like you were about to cum. No one could be more sexually fulfilled than you at that moment, but that was exactly the problem, you didn't want to finish, not yet.

"Wait... Stephen... wait. Gonna cum... don't make me cum yet."

He stopped and pulled out with a cocky smile plastered on his lips. "That good, uh? Want me to stop for a bit and let the others have fun with you now?"

You nodded biting your bottom lip. Something about the way he said it sounded so dirty.

He rolled to the side running his hand through his hair "You can barely handle one, how can you handle the three of us?" He teased and you found the strength within you to tease back "I can take it. I always do."

He chuckled in satisfaction at your response and you opened your arms allowing Defender to snuggle into them.

"Baby, I need you. Tell me you're ready for me again."

He let himself be hugged and kissed you hard. His lips moved up to your ear and he confided. "I haven’t even softened, baby."

You pulled him to your lips again, but pushed him away so you could get on top of him. He hummed contently letting you take control and direct him inside you. It was to be imagined, given the rivalry that existed between them, that Defender would not like to be in a submissive position when the other Stephens were around. In fact, it was like that at first, but now he didn't care and you were sure the others loved watching. Before Defender you weren't used to being in that position, but with him you got a taste for it and there was nothing in the world that made you feel more powerful than riding him.

His shaking hands grabbed your waist and he moaned loudly feeling you sink down onto his dick. You grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him to your lips, kissing him desperately as you began to move up and down and gyrating your hips sensually as you did so. You lolled your head back, letting yourself be carried away by the pleasure you felt and Defender took the opportunity to bury his face between your breasts. The other Stephens watched attentively and Stephen, unable not to intervene, grabbed your chin and kissed you.

You kept your pace fast and steady, your body responding to the sensations in all the right ways.

"Oh god, baby, cock feels so good inside me, make me wanna cum so hard." You confessed between moans and Defender pulled you back to his lips.

"Cum for me then, baby. Don't hold back. We've all had one, it's your turn now. You can use me to have it. Fuck me any way you want."

How sweet. He was always so sweet and wonderful all the time that it didn't surprise you that the others were a little more jealous when compared to him and to be honest, you loved it.

"Oh shit, baby. Gonna cum." You moaned loudly, riding him faster and harder, feeling the familiar knot tighten in your stomach.

You placed your hands on his shoulders and your pussy contracted tightly around him.

"Fuck baby... squeezing me so hard... gonna make me cum too."

You were so lost in your pleasure that you could barely form a complete sentence "Please... with me."

Defender moaned loudly, wrapping his arm around your waist and helping you move on top of him and your hands got lost in his hair, pulling him to your lips in one last act of passion and ecstasy until you both came together amidst moans and loudly breathing.

You both came down from your high slowly and there was a proud smile on Defender's lips. He kissed you gently and helped you dismount him.

"Come here, sweetheart." Stephen asked, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap. "Let's play a little, what do you think? Me, you and Supreme. You always feel so tight with two dicks inside you."

You bit your bottom lip feeling your cheeks flush, but you let yourself be manhandled. He positioned you on top of his dick and entered you slowly. The squelching sound it made from you being filled with cum was so obscene and so good. You moaned loudly. It didn't matter that you had just cum, you wanted more.

Stephen kissed you and moaned into the kiss. Supreme came from behind, positioning himself in the best way to make the three of you comfortable. The tip of his cock poked your ass and you closed your eyes feeling him slowly penetrate you. It was always a strange sensation, you felt too full and uncomfortable before the pleasure appeared, but it appeared and was always very strong.

"Oh yeah, honey, such a tight ass... squeezing my dick so hard."

You moved slow. Stephen held your waist and helped you slowly move up and down and Supreme carefully moved back and forth. The thing with double penetration is that it's not like it is in the movies, for all parties involved to feel pleasure you need to do it slowly, but once you learn how to do it, it's addictive.

"Oh Stephen... feels so good."

You let yourself be pulled into Supreme's lips and then back into Stephen's as they both thrust into you at a lazy, infectious pace. You loved being fought over like that, there was something devilishly sexy about taking turns between two men's lips. "So fucking good... fucking me... good."

The two laughed softly, observing that you could barely formulate a sentence at that point.

Supreme placed one hand on the headboard and the other on your shoulder and increased the strength of his thrusts and you and Stephen moaned together with the increased stimulation.

"Shit, gonna cum in your ass, honey. Its too good... too tight... I can't..."

He moaned loudly and the grip of his hand on your shoulder also tightened and you felt him cuming inside you.

"F-fuck yes..." He gasped "Oh shit." He grabbed your chin and pulled you into a hard kiss and then pulled out and threw himself on the bed.

Stephen took the opportunity to hold you around your waist and place you underneath him with your face on the mattress and your ass in the air. He quickly penetrated you again and you moaned loudly feeling the delicious sensation of being fucked from behind. But he wasn't gentle, he was too far beyond that, too lost in his own pleasure.

Thrust after thrust he fucked you, pushing your face against the mattress and moaning loudly, completely surrendered, looking for his release.

"You love this, don't you?" He teased "Tell me how much you love taking it from behind."

You moaned loudly feeling like you were close to cumming again. That was something that before the Stephens you thought was impossible, but anal orgasms were possible and were usually the most intense ones you had.

"Steph... gonna make me cum... again." You confessed, completely surrendering to him.

"Yeah? Are you going to cum with my dick in your ass? So fucking dirty. You love being a dirty girl for us, don't you? That's why you sent that text to the three of us, because you wanted to be fucked like that... like a fucking whore."

“Y-yes” You stammered feeling his teasing push you over the edge.

"Then be a good girl and cum with daddy's cock in your ass. Show the other Stephens how much you enjoy it. Come on, sweetheart, I'm right behind you. I'm going to fill this sweet ass with cum."

You moaned loudly, letting yourself be pushed towards the oblivion of everything earthly and launching yourself into ecstasy. Your legs shook beneath him, your entire body shook with the force of your orgasm.

Stephen gave three more thrusts and stopped completely, moaning and letting himself spill inside you. When he was done he brushed your hair away from your face and kissed the top of your head gently and then pulled out and rolled it to the side.

It took you a few seconds to catch your breath and finally turn around and face the ceiling with a silly smile on your lips.

"This was amazing." You praised before giving in to the giggles. "I doubt there is a woman in this world who is more sexually fulfilled than I am tonight."

The three giggled and you felt yourself being pulled into Stephen's arms. He kissed the top of your head before pulling you to his lips. "I can say the same, sweetheart. No man could be happier than we are to have you."

You wrapped your arms around him and felt the tiredness domination you.

“Tired?” Stephen teased.

You smiled lazily  “ I think I need a shower, I'm dripping cum."

The three of them burst into laughter and Defender took the lead, extending his hand to you and helping you stand up.

...

"The pasta is ready, baby, we can add it to the sauce now." Defender reported being extremely helpful. He had offered to help you finish dinner while the other Stephens were in the shower and you couldn't refuse to have that sweet domestic moment with him.

"The sauce is already boiling. Can you add the pasta for me while I stir?"

He did as you asked and came back with the parmesan cheese he had magically grated for you to use.

Without holding back, he stole a strand of pasta to try. "It's divine, love. I love the food you make, the seasoning you add... divine." He praised searching for your lips. You kissed him softly and then pulled away, handing him the platter with the roast and vegetables. "Can you take this to the table for me, baby?"

He nodded, taking the dish and walking away and you couldn't help but laugh when you realized how you both were dressed. So different from what you had planned and yet so perfect. He was shirtless, barefoot, with his hair in a bun and was only wearing pajama pants.

"What is it?" He asked confused.

"Nothing" You said "I just realized that we're going to have our romantic dinner dressed like we're having a sleepover."

He smirked "I like seeing you in my old t-shirts."

You smiled hearing the familiar chatting of the other Stephens approaching. "And I love wearing them. Now take these and come back to get the pasta."

He smiled “Yes, love.”

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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[aithusarosekiller]

Why Jegulus would actually work with their (barely existent) canon personalities:

This isn't a place for a debate so literally don't bother, I'm just trying to articulate to appeal to the 'iT maKEs No seNsE' crowd because while I don't care about canon, some Jegulus haters don't respect you unless you worship it so

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First: James' benefit from it-

To begin with, you have the superiority complex. As much as fans (and Sirius) like to say that Sirius immediately saw through his parents' beliefs when he was born and was a perfect activist from infancy, this is not true. First of all it's highly improbable and much more likely that he told that sort of tale that in order to convince himself and Harry that he was always good, but he isn't and we see that. He is progressive but he still treats Kreacher incredibly poorly, he uses oppressed creatures as jokes and sees no issue with it (yeah, canon-worshippers, sorry but in PoA there is no remorse for the prank, he laughs about it proudly) so he would have had to grow out of most of the behaviours he did have when he was sorted. He would carry some leftover beliefs from his family that James and the others had to help him unlearn. He would be willing to of course but it was still work. Why on earth would James not have reason to think 'I can do it again! They were raised in the same house they're practically the same.' Sirius had described his brother as weak and idiotic so James sees it as an easy win for his ego and the worth of his name, maybe even in Lily’s eyes.

And even when he falls in love and realises he may not be able to change them? Canonically? James wouldn't care. Not before he was 17 at least. He only ever relies on equality when it matters to him. They bully for no reason but target Snape a lot anyway, they already hate him when James sees the opportunity to stand up for Lily, speaking over her wishes instead of with her. He seems more intent on humiliating Snape and making a scene than actually fixing any issues. He's never truly evil but he's not a perfect virtuous angel. So him staying with someone who's morals are compromised wouldn't feel evil to him, he still thinks he's great and perfect, he just loves people who aren't. Let teenage James be morally grey, it's all he ever has been. It would give a pretty cool exploration of his growing maturity in the later school years. There's no real explanation for it apart from 'well it worked for him getting Lily' (which I hate, he nastily jokes about dating her infront of a crowd in exchange for not physically assaulting her friend and then she marries him? Give them more fucking depth than that, it reminds me of too many creeps I know) so it would be kind of cool to explore what could have set him off down the path of becoming a better person. Maybe age or outside pressure but I like the idea of him having a personal relationship that helped him to grow. He's with someone he can never be open to the public with and it's eating away at him because technically he should call it off but he doesn't bloody want to. When it ends, it's all too much and he chooses to flip his life over. He realises how Lily must have felt having Severus turn around on her and force her to leave him; he looks at the war and social climate with more integrity. He begins to change for the better in response to this upheaval of his life and his heartbreak. Also regulus gave him that snitch he was playing with and nobody can convince me he didn't.

Now for Regulus:

The betrayal is the obvious one, he'd always been tentative and naive according to Sirius. Sirius is under the impression he would've just tried to run when it got scary and we can assume he just misjudged him but wouldn't it be interesting if somebody was there to help him embrace his courageous, reckless side? If James sat there whispering words of victory and bravery to him, planting the seeds for his later rebellion? It could also have begun to place seeds of doubt in his mind surrounding the death eaters, even if they did not come to fruition until later. Even if you think he only changed due to Kreacher being hurt, the disproportionate response of sacrificing his entire life over it in some grand display of power is SO JAMES of him.

Then there's the opportunity to explore him on a more personal level. Who is he outside of his family? Was the locket the only secret betrayal or were there more? How does this impact his relationship with Sirius, regardless of him knowing of it or not? It adds even more layers to the meaning of his name and it helps to explore his own doubts before they are ever apparent to his family. James would likely not feel a sense of betrayal in not telling Sirius due to his ego and the fact that British teen boys are just like that™️ with their friend groups. But would Regulus? He would likely feel guilt anyway, but towards his brother? Did he still see him as a family member, as someone worth telling things to, as someone James belonged to? Well never know the canonical answers to this and that's why it's so FUN to explore. The layers to the secrecy and hope in their relationship is amazing.

What are his lingering feelings like after it ended? Hatred, regret, jealousy? And for James- guilt, sorrow, crushed hope?

The timelines add up too- the mark, James growing more mature, the snitch and the bullying of Snape.

And if your argument is 'they're not gay' tell me what makes you think that. Their personality? There isn't one 'way' to be gay. Prejudices? You think gay people are born holding a rainbow flag and chanting peace and love? So may gay ppl are vile to other marginalised groups. James married a woman? Bi people exist.

You don't have to like it, but don't say it makes no sense becuase it can and neither do half of your hcs about wolfstar and the prank and James' sunshine personality and how perfect jily were