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probablysya · 4 months ago

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Half The World Away - Gojo Satoru x Kamo!Reader

chapter one ⟡ Eveything I Never Wanted

Synopsis: Summer Festival is around the corner and the summer heat made Kamo (Y/N) remember the day she was thrust into the world of sorcerer. She feels changes inside her as time goes. Her grandfather wanted to know everything and ask regarding her relationship with the infamous Gojo Satoru.

Warning: curse words, blood, gore, forced restraint, choking, ritualistic elements (the bloody gore and all will only be in the intro but it will be occurring as the series progress)

pls read author’s note below, ty

(also this is a repost. I had to fix some of the errors as in the earlier draft, I already had a name for the reader but decide to scratch the idea, link in the masterlist is also updated)

—

Autumm 1996

By the time she found her way in the room she was told to, she noticed the room was filled with Ofuda and Talisman paper and lit candles as the light source. She saw some familiar faces and many unfamiliar faces in the room. In the middle of the room, her grandfather, her father and two men that she doesn’t know stand there with tense expressions on their faces. One of the men, a Kannushi, is holding some sort of goblet cup, not too big but definitely it is not a small cup either. They’re all wearing formal attire, an attire that she rarely sees but she understands it’s a big deal if both of them wear it.

Every step feels very heavy, not to mention all kinds of prayers being chanted as she walks to her father. She felt like she’s being commanded to walk to them. She is very confused. She was in her study room when she heard a knock from her door. The family servants notified her that her grandfather, the head of the Kamo Family, was waiting for her. Kamo Family, one of the big three families in Jujutsu Sorcerer Society, Kamo Family is viewed as conservative and orthodox faction due to how much they value tradition and blood lineage above anything else. The family has long rooted history all the way to the Golden Age of Sorcery. But what does she know about any of this, she’s six years old.

Before she came to the ‘ceremonial room’, she was dressed in white yukata and her hair was kept simple in a braid. After they finished preparing her, she asked them, “what is this for? Where’s my mother?”. But she got no reply, all of them left but one. This one servant kept her head down. She looked around and noticed that the whole house was dark and only used candles as the light source and there were a lot of candles lit, this sight brings chills to her spine. “What’s going on?” But she still got no answer, it frustrates her so much.

(Y/N) stopped her steps as she saw a hand signed by her grandfather, he later ordered her, “Sit”. (Y/N) did as she was told, though she is still confused about what's going on. She took small glances to her left and right and there she noticed, all of their palms are bandaged. Her brows frowned but later looked up as her grandfather said, “My family, you are all gathered here, to witness the rebirth of a miracle. My granddaughter, (Y/N), has shown signs of an inherited gift we’ve been waiting for. A female sorcerer with Blood Manipulation Technique. Daughter of Kamo Family” It follows by answering, “as written”.

(Y/N), who is still confused, wanted to talk but she felt like her lips were shut tight, even if she opened her mouth, no words came out from it. “My dear, I can feel that you’re scared and confused”. The head clan took a step down and made (Y/N) look at him by holding her chin up, he can see her eyes shaken in fear. She felt that her mouth was finally listening to her and screaming to her grandfather, “Grandfather, what is going on? Why’s everyone here and their hands are being bandages?”. She only got an answer from him, “It’ll end soon, my dear. Accept the blessings and set your soul free” What is that supposed to mean?

The Kannushi walked down towards her as her grandfather walked back and stood next to his son, (Y/N)’s father. The Kannushi walked down and people in the room started to recite prayers. The room became so suffocating to her and her vision started to blur. She wanted to get up and leave. The people in front and guards noticed that (Y/N) wanted to leave, in their eyes, she wanted to flee. They went to her and held her down. (Y/N) later struggled to be free, “No! Let me go”

The guards restrained her firmly and pressed her legs hard to the cold stone floor. One of them grasped her face, fingers almost digging painfully into her cheeks, forcing her mouth open wide. The Kannushi now stood in front of her, still holding the goblet with both of his hands and stared her down, and he later chanted, “May the blood of Kamo shall set your soul free”. Wait, the goblet— it’s all of their blood? She asked herself: Did Grandfather make all of them cut their hands for all that blood?

The Kannushi tilted the ornate goblet, the thick blood cascading over her lips and down to her throat, leaving (Y/N) no choice but to swallow it. (Y/N) stared back at Kannushi, as he was still pouring the goblet to her. Her white yukata is stained red due to the blood. She tasted the goblet’s content in her nostrils, in the roof of her mouth, in her cheeks—it was sticky and warm, the taste was odd, iron-like, the smells were off-putting and strong. (Y/N) swallowed as much as she could, but she couldn’t swallow anymore due to the overwhelming taste and smell. She knocked the goblet with her head, and she fell. She coughed a lot and spitted some of the blood out. Her body shakes and laying down as trying to adapt to the content she drank. Something’s wrong

Everything went silent, but she could tell that their mouths were open and chanted prayer. She felt everything inside her starting to feel the effects from the blood she drank. Her body changes, adapting. She felt she could listen to everyone’s thoughts inside her room—No, every Kamo’s thoughts and it's so loud. “Stop talking” she said, covering her ears but that didn’t stop her from hearing all the voices, it became louder. She can sense from her surroundings. It's like there’s many fireworks inside her, to be exact her brain. With her new found sense, she looks for her mother but she’s nowhere to be found, and it hits her—Mother is not a Kamo.

Her eyes have been closed since and she just realized. But when she opened her eyes and stared at frozen expressions around her, Why is everyone stay still? She asked herself. But her answer was later In front of her as she felt an explosion of light within her view. She looked in the direction as there she saw a young woman. She’s wearing the same white yukata as her. Young one, she said. You have now opened the memories of all Kamo in this room and the ones that came before them, all of them are relieved inside you. When (Y/N) can feel her mouth that has been frozen since she noticed time stopped for her, she asked, “Why? Why me?”

Because you are a female sorcerer with Blood Manipulation Technique, there has not been any female with Blood Manipulation Technique in four hundred years, she answered. “But I don't want any of this. I don't want to be a sorcerer!” She replied, pleading. You have to, even if you want it or not—your body still adapting, being burdened with memories of Kamo since the dawn of Jujutsu Sorcerer is too much for a young child. (Y/N) is still trying to process what's and why’s, but then (Y/N) felt a pang in her. Memories flashed through her eyes so quickly, it's so overwhelming that she wanted to scream. The woman comes close to (Y/N), covering her eye with her hand. She’s so close that (Y/N) felt shivers in her seizing body and whispered to her ears,

Open your eyes

(Y/N) opens her eyes and she feels a flash in the eyes, before everything was monotone color but now her color vision is back to what it was, but it's so much vibrant? She heard cries of her name, screaming it's a miracle in front of them. Someone eased her to a sitting position. She was trying to process what just happened. Everything was so much for her to understand that she didn’t even realize her gray eyes turned red. Her father and grandfather took a good look at her and understood that her cursed technique had awoken. Her grandfather praised, “Bless our salvation. Bless our Holy Daughter”. Then everybody repeats what her grandfather said, some even had tears come out from them. (Y/N) clutched to her blood soaked yukata and just watched. Voices and bells ringing overwhelm her hearing. This is not real, this is not real, this is not—

“(Y/N)!”

“(Y/N) WAKE UP”

—

June 2006

She opened her eyes and saw the sky and Haibara looking down at her. She can feel the grass in the back of her body. Wait, how long did I sleep? she asked herself

“You okay?” Haibara asked, offering a hand for her to help stand up, which (Y/N) accepted. “Yeah, I just had a long dream”. She looked behind Haibara and there’s Nanami leaning to the side of the pole with his hand crossed. Haibara was grabbing her pole arm while she looked at her reflection from the black screen from her phone. Thank god it’s not red. She heard it again, the bells. Haibara and (Y/N) looked at the sound direction and they saw the Kannushis and Mikos ringing the bell, although the temple is very far from the school field, the sound of the bells can be heard all the way. “Guess it’s their way to celebrate the upcoming Matsuri” Haibara said. He stared at (Y/N), who kept looking at the temple and how the Mikos ringing the bell, she got lost in thought. Somehow it brings her bad memories, Haibara thought to himself.

“(Y/N) '' Haibara touched her shoulder, snapping her out from her thoughts, she looked at Haibara and smiled. “Sorry, I might have overdone it” She told him.

“Wanna go to the clinic? Nanami and I can take you there, '' Haibara offered. She looked down, afraid to look at his face. Haibara has been nothing but kind to her. A sunshine, she said to herself when she met Haibara for the first time. Yu Haibara, first year of Jujutsu High along with Naomi and the other guy, Nanami. Haibara is cheerful and optimistic, it wasn't hard to see that Haibara sees good in everyone, even he’ll probably see good in criminals and would defend them if he has the chance. Haibara has been the bridge between her and Nanami. Both of them were quiet, although (Y/N) still talks and not completely shut herself off from everyone, Nanami however…probably it’s easy to tell about him. That is why she is grateful for having a friend like Haibara. He made the team dynamic work, despite how odd the outsider thinks.

“It’s fine, Haibara. It’s just the heat. Although it’s good for me, at least that’s what the doctor told me, Vitamin D and all that” she shrugged. “But that’s morning sun rays. Right now it’s 12pm” Haibara complained. Nanami who was walking towards them later asked (Y/N), “Did you drink your meds?” To which she replied by nodding. “That’s good. Come now, it’s lunch time. Probably those three are already there by now” Nanami told them, walking ahead.

Those three. Nanami was referring to their three seniors who are a year above them. Two males and one female, the same as the first year. Personally, she is not really close to them but she’s not on bad terms either. No it’s a lie, (Y/N) is close to Shoko Ieri. Ieri is a neutral force between Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo, scratch that— when the two fight, she would remove herself and find a place to smoke until both of them stopped choking each other to death. She and Ieri are close due to both being the only female students in school and because Ieri’s care towards (Y/N) being anemic. (y/N) viewed her as an older sister.

However with the other two. (Y/N) is okay with Suguru Geto. There is nothing wrong about him. Geto was always kind and mature, he helped and guided (Y/N) when both got assigned to missions together once. Suguru once borrowed a hair tie from (Y/N) and always forgot to return it to her but she didn’t mind and would always give her spares when Geto asked. They would talk about Geto’s previous mission and his view of jujutsu sorcerer’s standing in humanity and all kinds of stuff. They have mutual understanding and have been on good terms.

With Satoru Gojo? Heavens Above, she rather not think about it. Come to think of it, her first impression of Gojo wasn’t the pleasant thing that ever happened to her. Compared to Geto and Ieri’s first meeting, two things happened to (Y/N) when she met Gojo for the first time. First, Gojo was overwhelmingly bragging and was so full of himself, he barely took an interest in her when the now Second year trio was assigned to give a tour of the school to the newly first year. But their official meeting was when Gojo ran into her when she had just arrived at school, waiting for Yaga and Geto in the temple. (Y/N) wasn’t religious herself but due to growing up in such conservative family, she sought solace in praying.

Gojo was stunned to see a new face in Jujutsu High’s temple. Another new kiddo? He thought. Gojo stares at the girl who hasn’t noticed his presence and just watches, hiding behind the tree but nothing can hide Gojo with his height. She noticed an overwhelming amount of curse energy and thought there’s a special grade curse behind her wanting to kill her, it's not the first time (Y/N) was in danger, many wanted her dead, many wanted her blood. But when she looked back and saw Gojo and his otherworldly blue eyes (he forgot his glasses as he was in hurry due to Geto kept spamming call him, Gojo overslept), (Y/N) thought she was pulled in another oblivion, the same feeling when she drank Blood of Kamo chalice. So this is the Six Eyes’ user?

(y/n) did think Gojo came to kill her, but no. They just stand still. Spring wind breeze can be felt on their skin but none of them cared. Till this day, (y/n) still can’t tell what she felt when she stared at those blue eyes. Experiences unrolled before her eyes for a moment. A flash of memory came to her head but she couldn’t tell what that is or whose memory it was. It was like seeing a lecture projection from school projection during class but the image changes quickly and blindingly faster…. So quickly before she can understand what that is. But she felt something else, pain in her chest. She didn’t realize that tears were running down her cheeks but she saw what’s in front of her.

Tears running down on Satoru Gojo’s eyes as well.

“You need to stop getting lost in your own thoughts, (Y/N)” Nanami said, pulling (Y/N) back to reality. She chuckled apologetically and replied, “Sorry, Ken. There is something that is kinda bothering me”. Ken, shortened from Kento, Nanami’s first name. Aside from Ieri, Nanami was another person that knows (Y/N) a bit well (well she tells them what they need to know, not all of it), where (Y/N) can comfortably talk when she’s in need. Don't think about anything else, (Y/N) loves and trusts Haibara so much but Haibara is too kind, too pure to listen to (Y/N)’s stories and problems. Poor boy would always try to find a way to make (Y/N)’s not wrong from her problem and all, he cannot help it, Haibara always sees good in everyone, it’s what he is. Nanami is blunt, honest, straightforward and wise. Because of his bluntness, (Y/N) needs it. She needs to know an honest input and Nanami has been doing so. They talked a lot to the point, she started calling him Ken, much to his displeasure. “Is it because of the bells?” He asked. Right on point, Ken, she thought.

(Y/N) looked at Haibara who already walked first, making sure he doesn’t hear any of this, despite how much she hates keeping Haibara in the dark, one day she’ll tell. “That one and another thing. I feel something in me, like something awoke inside me, slowly” she told him. Nanami stopped his walk which made (Y/N) do the same, “What do you mean by that?” He asked. (Y/N) looked the other way, through the window, “Like a monster is waiting for the right to awaken”. Nanami took a step forward to (Y/N) and what Nanami did next shocked her, he patted her. “You worry too much, (Y/N)” he said, looking at her glassy gray eyes as those eyes looked up to him. “Maybe. But still—“

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THIS THING IS NOT SPICY?!”

“ITS PEPPER, SATORU. NOT FUCKING CHILI POWDER”

“YOUR TASTE BUD IS ATROCIOUS!!!”

“YOUR TONGUE IS WEAK”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

Nanami later growled In frustration as he heard, (Y/N) smiled in defeat. So we are greeted with this, at lunch?! I thought they went on mission since morning, where have they been? She asked herself. Nanami already walked inside the dining hall. Haibara is trying to calm Geto and Gojo down, Ieri who feeling very unbothered drinking her ocha. Nanami is taking his seat while (Y/N) sat between Haibara and Nanami. Ieri noticed (Y/N) sat in front of and smiled so happily, “Oh thank goodness you’re here”. (Y/N) smiled back and started to stir her soup to make it less hot, it’s what she believed in reducing the heat, “Ieri-Senpai, how’s your day so far?”. Ieri sighed defeatedly and points her finger to the corner of the room, “as you can see, I aged faster as I keep up with their bullshit”. That made (Y/N) laugh at that. Its true, wherever Geto and Gojo argues at anywhere, none of them could stop them except two things, they just end it on their own or……ummm..;;

“CUT IT OUT YOU TWO”

A sudden loud booming voice comes through…along with two head punches sound, Oh heavens above. “Can you two for once not create war everywhere you go?” Yaga said, crossing his arms and looking down at Geto and Gojo who sit down in defeat. “He started it,” Gojo said, pointing at Geto without looking at Geto directly, only causing Geto to choke Gojo’s neck. “Enough” Yaga said, ending the bickering. Yaga left the two troubled children alone and left the dining hall but stopped his steps as he remembered something, “(Y/N)-kun, your grandfather called, said that you need to accept his calls”. Suddenly, it was like swallowing thousands of pins to her throat when she heard it.

Female Blood Manipulation Technique Sorcerer is as rare as Six Eyes User. Last record of the female user was four hundred years ago. The Kamo Family put highly of their male descendants but they do celebrate when a female that was also blessed with Blood Manipulation is born. The tradition of Kamo’s Blood of Ancient is not recorded well by the Jujutsu Society as Kamo family kept it hidden. Its mystery is the same as the information of Gojo Family’s Six Eyes. (Y/N)’s grandfather wanted (Y/N) to keep in contact with him and update all of her activities and especially her technique development to her. “Thank you, Masamichi-Sensei '' she said her thanks and slowly ate her food. The others (Nanami, Haibara, and Ieri) can feel (Y/N)’s uneasiness but they hold themselves back as it's obvious that it's not the right time to ask her.

Back to Geto and Gojo, what the fuck they argue about? It’s literally about Miso Soup being too spicy for Gojo. And Geto wasn’t wrong, the soup had chili powder in it because Gojo failed to notice the many spice bottles in front of him and randomly added it to his soup without reading the label. Having had enough of their bickering, (Y/N) swapped her soup that hadn't been added with anything with his. Ieri who noticed shook her head, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”. (Y/N) chuckled, “better this way than hearing him complaining about it”. Ieri let it pass as she continued eating while Gojo and Geto went back to their seats, much to their irritation.

As they continued eating in silence and enjoying the food. (Y/N)’s phone vibrated, all of their attention shifted to the vibrating phone, on the screen written, “kei ♪(´ε｀ )”. (Y/N) choked her drink as she saw the screen, immediately excused herself and answered the call, “what is it, Kei?”.

(Y/N) walked a bit further from the dining hall so they (Y/N) really hear but it's not that hard as Izumi talked really low in general. Nanami and Haibara continued their doing as usual but the dark haired senior is curious, “who is it? Her boyfriend?”. Haibara laughed as she answered, “No way, if (Y/N) has a boyfriend, both of us will know. Besides that’s (Y/N)’s friend from middle school”. Geto hummed while Shoko was having a conversation with Haibara. Nanami stayed quiet and Gojo looked at the direction where Izumi went.

——

“That’s screwed up” (Y/N) commented on the story Kei told her. Apparently Kei’s friend from high school accused her of wanting to steal her boyfriend when Kei herself was being harassed by the boyfriend of her friend. “I know right. God, I really want to pull her hair out. The boyfriend is not even my type” (Y/N) can tell Kei is rolling her eyes, irritation can be heard from her tone. “Though, enough about me. How are things from your side?”

“Nothing ordinary,” (Y/N) replied, leaning into the wooden wall carefully. “It’s actually not bad here”

“I know i said this but everyone surprised you applied to different school than you initiated”

(Y/N) sighed, “well my grandfather’s insisted, so—“

“Enough about him. What about yourself?”

True. (Y/N) never got the life she really wanted. For years, her grandfather dictated her life, and (Y/N) never faltered and obeyed. But there are times where (Y/N) wished she did this differently. But she was molded into a perfect girl, a perfect woman, a perfect wife material.

(Y/N) is not heir to the Kamo Clan but she's not completely “wasteful”, words that came out from his Grandfather. (Y/N) is beautiful, blessed with black hair and grey eyes, Kamo’s physique and visual trait that has been passed down. She’s elegant and poised. Many call her “Aoko”, Moon Child. She was born when the moon shines the brightest. But the Moon is in a lonely orbit, same how (Y/N) feels in her family.

“(Y/N), if you wanna run away, say the word and I'll make it happen,” said Kei, trying to cheer (Y/N) up. Kei and (Y/N) have actually been friends since childhood. (Y/N) snuck out from her ancestral home, avoiding a family guest that’ll bore her. She ran into the kids playground and found Kei there. They started playing sandcastles together. Although their playtime was cut short as (Y/N) was found by her grandfather’s bodyguard. But then, they met again in school, and have been close ever since.

Chuckling at those words, it did touch her heart by how far Kei would do for her, no one has done that length for her. “Thank you, Kei. But I'll stick around a bit” she answered with a smile.

“Fine, but you know I got your back right?”

(Y/N) smiles, “i know and likewise, Kei”

As the call ended, she stopped to smile as she remembered to call her grandfather. She went away to find a more secluded place, not wanting to be eavesdropped.

(Y/N) always wondered what her life is gonna be when she is not who she is currently. (Y/N) has been trying to tell herself that this is not the right life she’s leading on, she’s just her grandfather’s pawn, and how long can she last of just being a pawn, she’ll never know that answer.

(Y/N) hates that she’s burdened with everything she never wanted in the first place.

A call with her grandfather is always suffocating. Her grandfather doesn't call and ask how she is and all that. She asked for her progress in school, anything new with her technique, always the same. But now, he asked a new question, “Did you meet him?”

Him? Ahh Satoru Gojo. “Grandfather, I'm her junior, of course i’d run into him from time to time” she said in annoyance, what is he up to this time?

“I'm just merely asking, my child” he chuckled and exhaled his breath. He knew his granddaughter would be short tempered, so much like himself when he was young. “You guys dont talk..or anything?” he tried to pry again. She cursed in a low voice so that her grandfather’s not hear anything, “we barely have anything in common, grandfather. Please, are you trying to set me up with him?”

He laughed, ah my granddaughter can be so funny. “Come now, I only wanted you to be friends with him. That kid maybe difficult but i'm sure you young folks can sort it out”

“Unless you’re scheming something, i'm not going to”

Silence…he is always amazed by his granddaughter’s sharp wits and all, “Oh my sweet child, how can I do such a thing?”

Irritated, (Y/N) sighed and started to ask another thing but she knew she wouldn't get the answer she wanted, “How’s my mother?”

“That woman is doing fine, (Y/N). Don't divert your focus on something else” as expected.

“Okay, Grandfather. I have to hang up the phone. I need to train again” (Y/N) stood up again as she was leaning to the side of the wall.

“Alright, (Y/N). Do not push yourself and please…don't be hostile towards Satoru Gojo. Maybe being in good terms with him would be good for you”

“Good day, Grandfather” she hung up.

——

When (Y/N) walked in the dorm hall and turned left to the stairs, she found Satoru was sitting on the stairs. Looking back and saw (Y/N) stood not far from here, he scooted to the side, though (Y/N) couldn’t pass through due to him sitting in a manspread position (yes, it was actually the truth). “You’re not with Ieri and Getou?” She asked, which shocked him.

“Oh, Suguru and Shoko went to the convenience store to buy snacks. I think Nanami and Haibara tag along” He replied, and (Y/N) responded with a hum and walked down.

“Wait,” Satoru hesitated, but now that she looked back at him, he regretted opening his mouth. “I—“

“Yes?” She tilted her head in confusion.

“I ...wanna know your favorite garigari-kun” he said in a hurry so it shocked both himself and her. “You– you know. Like I said, Shoko and everyone else are buying snacks. So i thought to let them know”

Garigari-kun? The popsicle? “Oh the popsicle right?” She stared at him blankly while Satoru was beating himself up inside. “Well..the blue one of course” she answered with a small smile and left him alone.

Satoru, who is a blushing mess, beating his head to the wall. What the fuck was that?! What do you mean, what's your favorite garigari-kun?! Fucking idiot. But Satoru looked back to see how the sun dipped toward the horizon, casting a golden glow across the sky. And he just sighed, titling his head back.

I knew that already.

—

author’s note :

i finished my thesis weeee, felt a short relief…wait i have to my thesis defense (￣^￣)ゞ

Does anyone know Garigari-Kun Popsicles?? I remembered it well from watching Naruto ages ago and i’ve always wanted it to try lolol

Female reader is inspired by Kuriyama Mirai from Kyokai no Kanata and shes my favorite character for years

The Ofuda and Talisman…I took inspiration from Yuuta and Yuji’s first interaction scene with Gojo. You know the torture room and all

Kannushi,, I believe it's Shinto Head Priest. I looked up the wiki but i'm not so sure as i do not know of how Shintoisme works as i don't practice the religion so if its wrong interpretation and offended it, im deeply sorry

i'm currently in progress for chapter 2, please be patient as it will be a very slow update

lastly, thank you for reading, hope you all have a nice day

ALL RIGHTS RESERVES. please do not translate, copy or plagiarize any of my write work.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk au #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #gojo angst #jujutsu kaisen headcanon #gojo satoru headcanon #gojo satoru imagines #gojo satoru fluff

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feelo-fick · 1 year ago

Note

Scarab & Prismo & Snufkin & Muddler for the character bingo!

(doesn’t have to be all of these of course. But can be)

I NEED TO KILL SCARAB. ITS A NEED. I NEED HIS BLOOD (<- will weep at any angst including him). HES EVEYTHING HES HORRIBLE HES A WRETCHED THING I HATE HIM HES THE WORST I WILL KISS HIM. AUGH. what the hell.

anyways i find him relatable.. something something vulnerability hard and shit yada yada but ALSO i make weird squawking/squeaky noises when im annoyed and i like to imagine he does that with the chirping... its funny

ALSO THE FANDOM KEEPS MAKING HIM SUFFER AND I LOVE IT AND WANT MORE BUT ALSO OW FUCK THAT HURTS WHY OW OW OW everything about his - concerning - respect (kneel for your life.) for authority (he was only following orders.) and isolation (he was never invited to those parties.) from the rest of. well everyone (he doesnt need them. he enjoys being alone. he doesnt need anyone else. he doesnt want it, he doesnt want it, he promises he doesnt.) is just SO. augh.

and the self sabotaging aspect of it. no one will love you, youve accepted that, so you stop sanding down your teeth. you bite and claw at any attempt to soothe your aches and stroke your spikes down, theyre only trying to find a soft spot near your belly.

your worst fears come true. youll never let it happen again. youll stand straight, youll make yourself seem bigger to scare off anyone who tries to come close to you. which leads to anyone who couldve helped you being dissuaded and backing off. serves them right, you never needed fixing. you never needed anyone. ...the clycle begins again. it aches. why? it shouldnt. that isnt allowed.

they should stop that, stop poking at the weak spots. it hurts to feel. you KNOW its to help. you dont want to be helped. stop it, stop. everyones going to know. they cant know it aches. theyll use it against you. keep kneeling, head lower, arch your back. maybe theyll be amused enough to give you mercy.

...cough. well anyways. im gonna stop here before this turns into a full on character analysis and MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONEEEE WOO

(youll start to notice a pattern that i express love for characters by wishing to kill them cough)

ANYWAYS MY SECOND HUSBAAND WHOM I WANT DEAD . hes. hes so. i cant.

i honestly love his aesthetic i dont know why. the tv/light/dream shit has a lot of potential methinks. i love the thought of a job swap au where prismo uses light/tech as a way to interact with the world while still being stuck somewhere else... and also the visual funkiness of him being projected onto many many tv screens brings me joy. i want that gender...

also. in general i love it when gods are depicted ss being really mortal-like... like, youre a cosmic being with power and omnipotence over the multiverses you watch over, and yet. you like sandwiches and pools and games and hanging out wih friends and its just. on every level but literal you are mortal and alive and wholly r e a l. but youre not. youre a dream, a projection, youre not even in the dimensions of the people you (love) watch. youre an outsider and its very clear. youre THIS CLOSE to being just like them. but youre not. and you never will be.

youre admired by those who are like you, but you dont really care for it. but those who you do care about either dont see you as anything more than a tool to manipulate the multiverse or see you as too grand to be able to connect with in a way that isnt "you are god and i am not". youre stuck in a prison you yourself control. but a prison is still a prison. people want what you have- how you wished they had it instead of you! maybe then, youd be loved. maybe then, things wouldnt be so ear-deafingly quiet. silence sticks out like a sore thumb in the yearning- the wish to not be alone.

OKAY AM I JUST GONNA DO THIS FOR ALL OF THEM. WHAT THE HELL. MOVING ON.

okay this time im not gonna intensely analyse his character. hopefully.

AHEM . SNUFKIN!!!! my best friend i love him so so much.......... i need to absorb his fucking vibes and gender so hard what the hell. LIKE BROTHER. HOW DO YOU PULL OFF THAT MUCH SWAGGER WITHOUT EVEN TRYING oh and also there are so many things wrong with you are you like okay bud...

i like to think that "omg hes just like me frfr" but the fact that i get so excited about that thought proves that I actually kin moomintroll nsnxjsjjsj WHICH MAKES SENSE. makes a lot of sense

i love how people interpret his personality... and i love seeing all the potential angst/drama/whatever you call it that could pop up because of how avoindant he is... and his relationships with the other characters... the way he so easily distances himself from others while (i know this isnt about him but once you talk deeply about one of them i suppose you cant leave out the other) moomintroll clings a little too hard onto him...

ill be honest im a bit rusty on anything moomin related, so forgive my poor memory + hesitation, but i do love em a lot still!!! no hyperfixation is dead, just dormant, as they say........... havent thought about them in a while but i should really brush up on everyones characters and the way they interact ... would be really helpful for some analysis and application to my own work and- YEAH WHATEVER YOU GET IT NEXT ONE

OKAY SO I HAVENT HEARD TOO MUCH ABOUT MUDDLER (aside from bloom's stuff - bless you bloom) BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT HES VERY RELATABLE AND FUNKY AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT... button collector.... so me fr............

im quite neutral on account of the fact that (again) i havent seen much of him, but i think hes really neato and also(!) i actually used him as inspo for my sona design... ITS JUST THAT, his design fucks so hard so so hard its such a good design. PEAK. absolute peak...

IDK ! i think muddler is such a nice and cool little critter... i would love to have more content of him!!! i need to know more about him!!! honestly atp someone could tag me on muddler content id be happy to have it... i think id really really love him if i just knew more(!!!) but i dont unfortunately waaah..

#TYANKS FOR THE ASK WOOHOO THIS TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE ANALYSIS BITS HAHAHAHHAHA #woopee! yippee!!!#thanks heather!!?#no question mark***#anyways i wanna answer your prismo and scarab oc projection ask now that im on a roll with this...#huhuhuhu

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trulytiredhermit · 2 years ago

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The reader with the yanderes that knows how to play sports.

Volleyball? Basketball? Etcetera? Yes, you name it.

But due to that, yes, a lot of pressure ofcourse, what if the reader actually liked to do something different than sports? What if they were forced to make somebody proud? Like their parents?

What if when they see that the yanderes wouldn't force them after seeing the reader explain to them the sports then they'll be motivation?

*Oof as someone who’s been in basketball before I can definitely say that there can be a LOT of pressure put on ya and there’s a ton of shitty situations that can happen that just leave you feeling miserable.

There’s definitely a reason I quit and this answer is gonna be taking heavy inspiration from that.*

First off if the Links’s knew you played any type of sport they’re automatically sitting Reader down to explain said sport.

They wanna know EVEYTHING!

And ones like Wild, Wind, Hyrule may even want to play that sport with you (in which case for sports like basketball/volleyball you’d have to rope in the rest of the Chain).

But they’d do anything for you so it won’t be too hard of a feat to accomplish.

Oh but you say the sport requires a specific type of ball for it? No worries the Chain’ll figure something out (Legend and Four will get right on making a replica and they’ll keep doing it until they get it right!)

But their constant persistence may be how they find out about Reader’s aversion to the sport.

Perhaps it was the deadened tone Reader would sometimes use when talking about the sport/their past with the sport.

Or was it the strained smiles and somber eyes that were sometimes sent their way when they begged for Reader to join in on the game.

Either way the Chain began to take note and eventually question Reader’s true feelings about the sport.

And that’s when the truth spilled out.

When the Chain find out about how Reader’s love for the sport was crushed and destroyed under the constant favoritism and the amount of pressure that was put upon their beloved their not happy.

But of course, the Chain can’t deal with those people. And they might never be able to. (Doesn’t mean they won’t curse their names to Hylia above).

So, the Chain transform the energy of their anger and hatred into caring and loving embraces.

They reassure Reader that none of that will happen here with them. That they do not expect Reader to constantly play the sport at their command.

And the most certainly will not favor someone else over them.

After this heartfelt conversation, of which Reader is teary eyed all the way through from the Chain’s loving and empathetic gazes, the Chain will most likely go cold Turkey on the sports game.

They won’t mention wanting to play it to Reader until a good long time has passed or Reader themselves brings up the idea to play.

Other times, when time has finally passed and the Chain feels like they can bring up playing the sport again l, they always tell Reader that they can say no.

That they aren’t being forced to play.

And that would simply warm Reader’s heart beyond belief.

In fact, if the Chain treats Reader better then their own family and friends than why on earth would Reader want to go home?

It would be so much better if you just stayed and forgot about those traitors.

#trulytiredhermit #chromonomatic #linked universe #yandere lu x reader #linked universe x reader

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matan4il · 2 years ago

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hey alice it’s miya! hope you’ve been good 💜. i firstly want you to know how much i look forward to these weekly meta posts. it’s very rare to find someone who thinks critically about shows in away that goes far beyond a ship and i appreciate all the time & effort you put into these. they always make my day.

TW: self-harm, mention of suicide, ptsd, trauma.

(i wanted to be mindful & put these tags just in case anyone comes across this post. buck’s character has been through it & some people don’t realize just how much so i just wanted to give this warning for those who may not have noticed these things about buck)

now this episode for me personally was a lot & very heavy. It didn’t start out that way but the surprise buddie cemetery scene hit me very hard. i’m still shocked we got it too cause it wasn’t truly necessary that we see buck&eddie visit marie’s grave but the conversation was so important for us to see & get a glimpse at their relationship at play and how much these two truly know each other well.

i wanted to talk about a couple of things. i see people are suddenly saying buck is not the right person for eddie because of his “she really see’s me for who i am” comment & i say to those people that they have no idea what life/death trauma can do to a person. when season 6 started buck was going on this journey trying to figure out the secret to happiness & not wanting to make the same mistakes. he was doing just that & doing well in a sense but then he died. he literally died and came back to life but he doesn’t feel good about that. it absolutely broke my heart and made me cry all last night thinking about when buck said “i felt like i got away with something”. anytime i hear this line or read it, i wanna break down. cause for some people, they might see dying & coming back to life as a miracle but for buck he thinks his second chance at life is stolen almost & that is just so sad. i understand completely cause i was involved in a terrible car wreck where i should have died but didn’t. my injuries are internal & although people can’t see them. i have to carry those injuries with me for the rest of my life. Buck doesn’t have any external injuries but inside he is hurting badly. how can one make sense of something when at one point, they didn’t value their life at all. we know buck has been passively suicidal & self harming in a non-traditional way by purposely putting himself in harms way. so i often feel like that still weighs on him. cause at one point he may have wanted to die & then when he did he came back so now he’s confused.

he thinks his new lease on life comes under terms and conditions. like at any moment a shoe is going to drop if he doesn’t go out & cherish eveything life has to offer. it’s hard for people with self-worth issues to truly believe that they can have exactly what they want especially in a partner. buck has clear feelings for eddie but does not believe it’s possible that one of the most important people in his life can love him/be in love with him for all he is & not solely for his work or what he’s been through. Eddie so badly wanted to tell buck that he’s see’s him verbatim but he opted to tell him by saying he’s been watching & observing him since the accident and has noticed he hasn’t been the same. Eddie is the one to always give buck his space so i love that the minute eddie opened the door to that convo buck walked in and told him the truth that no one else knows. it’s frustrating though for eddie to watch someone he loves so much hurt in this way & it’s hard to express that without almost revealing to much of his true feelings. it hurt more to think that buck doesn’t see that eddie see’s him and i don’t think he will see that unless eddie verbally says i love you, i’m in love with you & this is real. buck is it for eddie and he knows this but how much longer until buck knows it too.

anyways i’m so so so so sorry this is long. i have been thinking about this episode since it aired & have wrote many different things about it. i look forward to your next meta & please know that i’m here if you ever wanna talk all things buddie or anything else ❤️

Hi Miya! Awww, I absolutely adore hearing from you, and I'm so grateful for YOUR kind words, for reading the meta posts like the one for 615 and letting me know that you enjoy them! *HUGS*

And thank you for sharing of your personal experience as well. IDK if it helps, but I know what it's like to carry something debilitating that people can't see. I got vertigo almost 3 years ago, just a constant state of dizziness, that makes every part of wakefulness hard. I only relatively recently learned it's due to a tumor. And people don't see how much I struggle when they look at me. So I understand what it's like to carry that. And I just wanted to give you a hug. I also believe your experience with the car accident is different and unique to you, but so close to Buck that you probably understand him better than most people in this fandom. Yeah, he's been a bit lost this whole season, and the lightning strike only made it worse, it didn't give him any answers, only more questions.

I agree, I think Buck is deeply in love with Eddie. Which, as I mentioned in this ask reply, still doesn't mean he necessarily knows how he feels. In part because of what you said, because how can he have anything romantic develop with someone that Buck looks up to as much as he does Eddie? So when he says about Natalia that she really sees him, IMO he's saying that based on comparing her to his past gfs, he's not comparing her to someone like Hen or Chim. And because in Buck's mind, Eddie is supposed to be in the same category as their other teammates, Buck doesn't even stop to think that the man standing right by him is the one person who is a potential romantic partner, someone who will and does see him for EXACTLY who he is.

Awwww, you absolute gem! I'm so glad you found my blog! I'm currently a bit swamped with life, between work, family and medical appointments, I barely get to my DMs, but as much as I can, I hope I can be here for you, too! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

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decodedlvr · 2 years ago

Text

“King Steve” doesn’t exist |PT 2. | Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson (steddie mini series)

Summary: Steve Harringtons deepest secret gets revealed, but will the freak accept him? Will he runaway from him like everyone else? Does size really matter?

Word count: idk this is pt.2

Pt. 1 is here | pt.3 |

Warnings: slight homophobia, angst, smut, blowjobs, good fluff, coming out, Panic attacks, slight bullying, body insecurities, f-slur

Steve feels like he can’t even see he’s still breathing and running in panic mode. Going anywhere outta the school people aren’t he bumps into—

“Fuck, fuck I’m sorry I’m sorry”—

“Hey, hey Steve.. hey it’s okay hey—

He bumps into Eddie in the woods at the ole famous smoke bench. He didn’t even know he made it that far outta the school until Eddie’s smacking him on the face to calm down—

“Ow fuck!” Steve screeches

“Im sorry.. I know I just- I didn’t know how else to get you to breath and— Harrington are you alright man?” Eddie asks laced with concern

Steve’s still breathing hard but he’s at least aware he’s not around those assholes in the locker room anymore. He makes his way over to the bench; elbows on knees, hands on face

“..Fuck I guess, I don’t know”

Eddie and Steve are good friends. Obviously they are, having a whole friend group and the whole upside down thing. It’s not like they hate each other. So Eddie knows he doesn’t exactly have to be ready to engage in a fight when it comes to Steve the hair.

Eddie being clueless, wanting to help but also not wanting to push Steve he sits beside him rubbing his shoulder

“Hey, talk to me man.. please tell me you didn’t see any weird monster shit, I don’t know if I—

“No.” Steve says bluntly

“Alright…” he lights a cigarette takin a hit and offering to Steve; he obliges immediately too stressed to care about the gross habit

The silence is making Eddie anxious now. “Hey uh, I won’t push just know that you can talk to m—

“—God those fucking assholes, i don’t know why the fuck I hangout with them.” Steve says interrupting & sighs

“Who?”

“Just everyone” Steve replies back

Eddie feels a pang but it goes away after Steve finishes his sentence

“King Steve, this king Steve that..always expecting me to do eveything and be everything everyone wants like; I’m sorry I’m not goddamn perfect!”

Eddie’s not sure what to say, he wants to say “I think you’re perfect” but he’s too vulnerable to scare off right now.

“What do you think?” Steve asks

“Me?”

“Yeah..?”

“About what?” Eddie asks puzzled

“Like how do you just..not be how-fuck..I don’t know what I’m saying man fuckin—“

Steve’s speed talking and now heaving again

It’s starting to make Eddie panic.

Eddie’s heard from a friend that kissing someone whilst or before they fall into a panic can trigger and shock them out of it. He doesn’t know if he’s even close enough to Steve to be able to do that without getting kicking in the throat, feared being called a fag. Wouldn’t be the first.

He’s trying to listen to every word Steve is saying the best he can—while going 30mph per second.

Soothingly rubbing his back showing he’s listening, he makes out the words “Hargrove”, “embarrassing and “pantsed”? —

“—does size really fuckin matter to people now a days? Jesus I can’t go anywhere without being expected to even—

Eddie kisses Steve anyway.

Eddie’s hands on Steve’s face basically squeezing them together he lets go with a pop; both wide eyed at each other—

“I’m sorry.. shit!.. I’m sorry. I just heard that you can calm someone from a panic attack from kissing them and I know you literally just had one, and I know how it feels it sucks please don’t hit me—“ Eddie says even faster than Steve was talking a minute ago; now panicking because the freak just kissed the king. The ex douchbag Steve.

“Why would I hit you Eddie?”

“Oh.. i dunno, sorry trauma response I guess.” he laughs in a relief breath

“Thank you.” Steve sighs

“I didn’t do anything”

“You did..you-you’re just you unapologetically i- just, you have every right to judge me I’m sure I was no better to you in the past..” Steve says guiltily with his head down

“Hey, it’s the past and we’re pals now right? Eddie peaks over at him

Steve looks into Eddie’s sincere eyes and nods.

“We’ve killed the literal devil together, pretty boy. we got the scars to pay for it so it’s all good.” he smiles

Not the nickname anything but the nickname Steve screams in his head.

“But I’m gonna be honest with you Steve— you were kinda rapping along about what happened earlier with ya.. would ya maybe like to tell me again but slower maybe?”

Steve gulps and looks away remembering not only what happen but he may have to explain why he had to run.

“You don’t have to right now, but you know me as the freak I have no room to judge.” he says chuckling—

“You’re not a freak Eddie”

“Steve it’s okay I’ve had this name my whole life, I’m so numb to it now—“

“You’re not! I am” Steve shouts

Eddie blinks stunned but confused at his words

“Why would you be a freak Steve? Cmon tell me what happen”

Steve sighs heavily and shakey.

“God-it’s so fucking stupid honestly” Steve replies

Eddie, now sitting in front of Steve letting him know silently to take all the time he needed to explain.

Steve explains the scene in detail of what happened in the boys locker room, but not realizing he may have stated why he ran and how he started a secret bet with all the girls he’s been with to keep his ‘king Steve’ secret. The secret about his small dick.

Eddie’s kinda just speechless

“Oh! Jesus please say something— Steve can only hear Eddie’s breathing

“I’m thinking” is all Eddie says

“Oh god, fuck it’s bad I knew it!” Steve looked like he was gonna start panicking again

“No no hold on now ok?”Eddie says as he puts his hand on Steve knee to keep him from running off again

“You’re telling me all the times you were with some chick, you basically never came once? Just hid your dick because you don’t have a horse cock everyone thinks you do?” Eddie asks bluntly but no judgment in his voice

“Yes.” Steve whispers

“Tommy’s a dick so is Billy, wait; you meantioned Billy calling you a pretty boy got you hard? When does Billy ever say that? he snorts

Hell the only person I’ve ever heard say.. that is..

Now coming to the realization, Eddie’s eyes slowly trail up to Steve’s and Steve’s to Eddie’s..

“Wait—“

Steve hadn’t fucking left the part out about Eddies tease name being part of the issue. Perfect.

“Oh shit- I didn’t”—Steve starts

“I call you pretty boy, Harrington.. I thought you were..??

Reminder Eddie’s hand is still on Steve’s knee. But his thumb his now rubbing in circles

Steve feels like he’s choking. What is happening he thinks.

“I’m sorry I-uh”-

“Steve I’m not gonna judge you, you know that, right?”

“Ok”

“Can I ask you something without you freaking out on me again Harrington?”

“Ok…” Steve says in a lower whisper; now avoiding Eddie’s eyes

“Do you like when I call you a pretty boy Steve?” He asks in a low tone

With the warmth of Eddie’s hand and that stupid fucking nickname, Steve’s cock kicked up like a board.

“I- um..”

“Hm..?” Eyes boring directly on steves face, Steve can feel himself on fire

“Yes” he says below a whisper also feeling like he could cry

From Eddie’s angle sitting in front of Steve on the bench, Eddie can see his boner in his gym shorts. Or what appears to be one? Steve did say his dick was smaller than normal but Eddie’s intrigued

“Why do you like when me specifically, Eddie the freak calls you that?”

There’s a pause that lasts so long you can hear laughs down the road to the school cafeteria.

“I don’t know” all Steve mumbles

“Do you like me Steve?”

Steve glances at Eddie for a split second to see if his face is teasing or asking

He doesn’t answer.

Eddie doesn’t need the answer. The silence gives it away

“I thought you were um, you know into girls Steve?” Eddie asks quizzingly

“I am..”

“Are ya sure?”

“No..”

“No?”

“I think I like both” Steve mumbles

“You think?”

Steve sighs. “Robin said it was called being bisexual. To like both men and women”

Eddie purses his lips and nods understandably

“I see.”

“..are..you?”

“Am I..what?”

“Bisexual?” Steve breathes out already tired from this conversation

“Oh, god no.” Steve feels a pang in his heart sharp as hell almost—

“I’m gay as shit”

“You’re gay??” Steve asks shocked

“You’re surprised ? Cmon when’s the last time you seen me even near set of tits hm?”

Steve thinks for a moment

“But- i-

“No bud I’m as gay as they come.” he says winking at Steve, making him flush

“Oh. Well uh, cool.”

“Yeah.”

Taking another cigarette out to smoke but also sharing with Steve; he changes positions now sitting uptop of the bench with him

“So, you’re gay” Steve says as a statement

“And, you’re gay” Eddie says back adding ‘half gay’ with a chuckle to lighten the mood

“Yeah..”

“And.. you kinda have a thing for me is that right?” Eddie asks

Steve glances into Eddie’s eyes for a second and nods slowly

“Well Harrington, I kinda have a thing for you too”

“Really?” Steve’s neck almost breaks double taking to Eddie’s response

Eddie kicks his head back at the reaction.

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen your ass in those shorts?”

Steve finally laughing; also hiding his face to blush

“Don’t worry your personality isn’t too bad neither.” he smiles genuinely as Eddie adds on

Steve smiles back feeling a million times better than before this started.

Reblogs appreciated :>

#steddie fanfic #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things #joe keery #joseph quinn #billy hargrove #lgbt #steddie fandom #steddie fluff #steddie angst #steddie smut #tw f slur #tw body insecurity #tw bullying #king steve harrington #eddie munson fanfic #steve harrington fanfic

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whirling-fangs · 2 years ago

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distrxst:

their face remained baren of any expression , sighing out through their nose as they stared the youth down .

why did he care , over something not even they decided to delve in past a base level ? why did he feel anger over their lack of passion . they were pyrrhic , a stand in until a better slayer came along , or rather , they met an expected end . he wasn’t supposed to be here . so why was he supposed to live like someone who was ?

the boar child was strange .

they stepped back as they were released , stepping back a bit and giving the slayer a perplexed look at the disappointment he seemed to portray . perhaps he had simply given up . most did once they found how insufferable they could be , caught in the ways of their own self loathing . good . the kid was passionate . he had better things to do , to better himself . so the sooner the pillar could get him to give up , the better .

when they turned their back on the young slayer , to leave him to his own devices - as well as a desire to return to their guilty solitude - the youth’s words caught them like a solid right hook , stopping him dead in his tracks . they inhaled a deep breathe of air .

hashibira just didn’t get it , did he ?

“ then continue with that .. i don’t care .. but don’t pretend you know anything of my worth . you don’t know about the blood i’ve got on my hands , kid . so don’t bother . ”

his tone was harsh , though his face was weary . they weren’t like their colleagues . they weren’t like the other corps members . he was a fraud , an accident in every sense of the word . so the fact that they had served well , saved people - it scared them . contradicted eveything they used to break themself down . it was hard to be prideful , passionate about it when it wasn’t supposed to be .

“ i .. i just can’t . i’m not what you think i am . i’m not what even he would’ve thought i am . it just doesn’t work like that . ”

a silent truth , as far as he knew .

Of course, Inosuke knew nothing about the other's past. He knew nothing about the circumstances that led to them earning their title as Hashira.

And truth be told, even if he knew, it wouldn't change a thing. It didn't matter how Tomioka had earned that title. That title was his to bear, and as such, the water Pillar should behave in a way worthy of that title. Or else, what was the point of having it at all?

"Haaah?! That doesn't make any sense, you dumbass! How can you not be who you think you are?! You can be anyone! You're the only one who gets to decide that, so how can you choose be someone you're not?"

He as contradicting himself somewhat, but his poor brain was getting overwhelmed. Oh, he better be getting a long break from thinking after all this.

"We all have blood on our hands! We've all killed demons, we've all saved humans, but there's also times where we got there too late! Or when the humans got caught up in the fighting! So stop speaking like you're the only one going through stuff, you moron!!"

"If you don't intend to act like a Hashira, then gimme your title! Go get lost in the mountains and never speak to another human again, if it's all making you that miserable!"

#distrxst #[[i'm crying???!! thank you so much ;w; i'm really glad you enjoy this wild little boar #you giyuu is just too good ;w; i wanna punch some happiness itno them :') ]]#boar voyage / queued post

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lordabovehelpme · 3 years ago

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I honestly don’t think Frank would be super dominant in bed like a lot of people write him to be. Not that I dont love it! But just think, everything else in his life is rough, blood, sweat and pain, but in bed with intimacy he would be gentle, and praise his lover left and right

Okay anon- we are on the same brain wave! 🧠

I totally agree with you! I see a ton of people writing him all gruff and dangerous, and while he is (and I have a hoot reading those) I also feel like it’s something he wouldn’t be around his lover.

Here’s my thoughts...

If you don’t know him that well, like he hasn’t let you in yet or you’re just a quick fuck- that’s all you are. Then he’s all gruff and pushy and dominant. Because he doesn’t necessarily care about what you think or to be honest, care at all. So I totally understand writing him like that for those situations.

However.

Once you wiggle your way into his heart, he gets protective and boy does he care. He’d tear the world apart if something even barely harmed you, including himself. So there’s that fierce affection for you that makes him fall to his knees, that brings out his smiles, that threatens to make his heart burst.

Like you said, his life is full of death and blood and pain. And there’s no way in hell he’s bringing that to you. He’s already amazed you’ve stuck with him for this long, afraid that his sins and actions will taint your brilliance.

In the bedroom, (or elsewhere- I don’t judge) I can totally see him spending extra time making sure you’re ready for him.

He holds you from behind, putting your legs over his thighs so you’re spread for him. He rubs his hands over your body, touching you everywhere but where you want. And not until you’re nearly begging him, he’ll start to rub circles on your clit.

You’re all breathless and leaning back against his shoulder, eyes half opened and your own hands gripping at his forearm.

He fingers you, eats you out, making sure you’ve cum at least once before he even gets his cock out.

I can see this going two ways, the first being classic missionary where he can see your face, making sure that you’re not showing any signs of discomfort while he slides into you. The second being him having you on top, letting you work down on him at your own pace.

And he’s always asking if you’re okay, if it feels good, if you need to stop, if it’s too much. Somehow it makes you feel even more sensitive, maybe it’s because he’s pouring as much love as he can into your skin.

Afterwards, he’s all cuddles and kisses. Like melted goo, puddy in your hands. But not before he slides a warm washcloth between your thighs, telling you how amazing you are, how pretty you are, how perfect you are. Kisses pressed against your flesh as he lets his heart run wild.

It’s never about him, and even when you try and make it, it’s because he wants to give you eveything and please you.

So yeah- thank you for sharing!

I’m actually in the middle of writing a softer intimate scene with frank right now. So keep your eyes out! Hehe

#sweet anon #frank castle x reader #frank castle

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scott-mccall-the-hot-girl · 3 years ago

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theodore raeken: missing persons

( okay so i kinda had an idea ,, and then went through the whole teen wolf timeline to see if it would work ,, so here it is !!

theo’s backstory !! it started off way more messy headcannon format & then it got kinda a real story vibe ,, def thinking about making it an ao3 one shot eventually )

TW: very sad & hurt my feelings

don't imagine:

eight year old theo raeken...

who sleeps at his best friend scott mccall's house almost every single night, stiles is almost always there too.

theo and his friends where they all watch movies together until ungodly hours of the morning. stiles loved star wars, theo will never forget that. they had gone as luke, han and chewy for halloween that previous year. melissa went as leia. scott has always been more of a indiana jones fan himself. theo would watch either, anywhere where harrison ford was theo didn't mind being.

in this little trio, who were all raised in the mccall house, where they were given eveything they needed. sometimes when theo thought about her, when he needed to remember the good things in life. he never quite knew how she managed. expecially with scott's dad who floated in and out of the picture.

yet, it always was melissa who gave scott extra lunches to take to school because theo and his sister, who were often forgotten by their parents usually were left to fend for themselves and a fourteen year old girl rarely had the funds or mind to give a growing boy a nutritious lunch. these packed lunches always with the crust off because that's the way theo liked it. melissa always remembered.

theo had three favorite places: scott's bedroom, the corner next to his bed where theo's blow up mattress was. the bridge in which tara and he crossed everyday on their way back to raekens from school. his final place was actually beacon hills elementary.

theo always liked school. theo was good at school. he didn't realize this until mellisa had pointed out an exceptional report card. he didn't think it was much of anything to be proud of.

he liked recognizing big words from english class and novels that would help him when his mom watched jeopardy. she would watch the show every night. sitting in a daze in the raekens dark living room. not paying much mine to the eight year old, until he started blurting out the answers to her favorite show. she beamed at him. he loved his mother's smile, she had the same dimples as tara.

so yeah, when a seventeen year old theo raeken spent months filing the names of anyone ever involved in the mccall pack, current members, deceased and ones that just fell out of beacon hills. he remebered some names.

theo raeken grew up in beacon hills, and beacon hill wasn't to big of a town.

theo rembered issac lahey a quiet boy who had been in his thrid grade class, jackson whittemore who was a grade older than them and everyone knew him because he was was offered a spot on the middle school lacross team, he knew erica reyes who he rembered for her epilepsy and it made him hate himself a little less for being the king of the heart condition, he even remebered names like derek hale- who was in the same grade as tara. theo even rembered the name malia tate as she was small girl who did go to beacon hills elementary, who was always startled and always walked a bit faster than everyone else through the halls. or even lydia martin, a girl stiles had a crush on. she talked to theo a lot, lydia used to call him teddy, he didn't know when it started but he let her do it purely to spite the fact that lydia gave theo a nickname and never bothered to acknowledge stiles.

theo rembered all of them, i mean for years of his life all he had to rely on was his memory to make sure it was real.

though during the line memories turned bitter and he was left with the sour taste of resentment.

so it was weird to think despite it all, that year was one of theo's best. he never felt like he belonged. sure he had scott and stiles before but gaining friendship & being labeled as an "inseparable trio" by the sheriff station deputies, whenever they rang havoc through their office made theo's mouth crack a toothy grin. he felt like he had a family.

that was until the air started getting colder in beacon hills. theo started hearing the voices. though, even so much later in life he never could quite pin point how it started, like his brain couldn't truly decipher what was going on. some of it felt like dream, though the dreams and the thoughts. sometimes they didn't feel like his own and made him so scared he would leave the day feeling nauseous.

though this all came in spurts. his birthday was that november, and that was magical. he spent the weekend with stiles and scott, theo's mom actually made the point to bring the three of them bowling. the boys pitched in on buying theo a big millennium falcon lego set because he was always doing things with his hands, something he picked up not being so most athletic of the bunch. they also got him big poster of han solo just to spite him. he blushed and yelled at them for stupid gifts but they knew by the smile on his face he loved them.

he loved so much because despite the fact that they were poking fun at him ever so lightly, they were good natured and they held thought. they really thought about theo enough to know what he liked. he never had that before.

so the voices started getting louder again around christmas time. it was weird for theo, the happiest time of the year filled him with such excessive dread. it didn't feel right. theo's life changed that month.

then one day scott and stiles get sit down because something tragic happened. tara raeken is dead. the details are fuzzy and they don't really understand how, seeing as these boys are just in fourth grade. they are horrified, it's one of the only other times they've experienced death besides with stiles mom. though claudia stilinksi was sick, sometimes sick people die. learning about tara left a bad taste in their mouth. she was young.

they try and call, bike past is his house. they don't hear from him. they go to her funeral, scott and stiles, high on anxiety attached to their parents just trying to sneak a peak of where their best friends may be. he's gone, that's the conclusion they come to, he's gone. they don't know how it could have happened, they just know that he isn't there. why wouldn't he be there?

they try and talk to the raekens but haunted by their daughters death, they paid less attention to theo than before. they barley give them a straight answer, melissa explains what grief can do to a family and not to blame them but is equally suspicious.

just take a minute to think, while scott and stiles are scared and searching for their best friend, theo raeken, barley nine years old is given a heart transplant. alone in a dark and cold sewer hidden deep under beacon hills, horrified and a failure, that's what the dread doctors tell him. a boy who keeps quiet, does what needs to be done and has to survive. doing absolutely everything he can to be kept around, the second he heals (which theo recognizes is abnormally fast) the doctors are straight out of beacon hills.

the doctors eventually find his parents too, who leave beacon hills, he doesn't exactly know what happened to them. he doesn't everything he can not to think about the possibilities. he hopes he has a chance, survival instincts flourish but the ideal of living isn't quite the same as surviving.

one day, the doctors inform him he has absolutely nothing to go back to, he figured this he just be didn't think they would actually tell him. they never told him much.

they are far away from beacon hills- much farther than he assumed. he has no sister, and his parents are gone.

he is alone, and he is finding out that now, he has one more secret to hide. the poor boy has claw and fangs and often thinks about using them to rip himself apart, i mean he deserves it right? he just watched his sister die, to go down with the last living part of her, his own heart.

while theo is expecting his fate, stiles and scott and stuck in months of confusion. missing posters of the boys face are strung up everywhere they can reach, once his parents are gone. they know they need to do everything they can.

mellisa feels like she's been punched in the gut, so she helps her boys. she calls every hospital in the county, and then she starts reaching out to some of the bigger hospitals in the state. spreading word of a missing nine year old like wildfire. she spends nights after her shift arguing with noah stilinksi, he has been looking to. he tries to bargain logic with her.

"yeah it's strange he never said goodbye, he wasnt at the funeral- it's weird, yes, but his parents left too. their daughter just died melissa. maybe they didn't want to stay."

melissa knows, yeah that makes sense. theo had to of just moved with the raekens but something about it doesn't feel like it makes sense.

he would have said goodbye to her. she knows it.

other people in beacon hills were actually thinking the same thing, something wasn’t quite making sense.

those other people being some who can sense unrest in supernatural frequencies. a family who makes it their business to monitor the supernatural. the hales.

though, talia hales supernatural concerns didn't often revolve around fourteen year old girls who drown, shes curious. the girl, was in dereks grade. the mother in her falters but it doesn't get strange until the police reports reveal the fact that the girls heart was gone, she was found. gaping chest wound, lying in the river.

so she starts to suspect somethings wrong. she's seen the raekens case, something about it doesn't make sense. sure, the death of a teenage girl is overwhelmingly tragic but there isn't much to investigate. though talk of the raekens is getting loud, she comes to find out this is because of the raekens youngest, who was nowhere to be seen days before the funeral.

she knows the hunters are back in beacon hills. so wonders if the two correlate. so she starts asking questions.

talia, with her daughter in tow see two boys standing outside the sheriffs station, stopping people when they walk in to show they a poster. it's theo raekens missing poster, though there isn't much official about it. it seems like the sheriffs department couldn't issue anything official, so as she walks up to the boys seemed to have made dozens of copies themselves. there information seems formal enough.

she catches their anxiety heighten as talia hands the poster over to laura who stands behind her.

the taller one raises a brow, "have you seen him anywhere miss?"

she smiles, "miss hale- you can call me talia though. this is my daughter laura. we haven't seen your friend but we'd like to help..."

the taller boy nods, "well, i'm scott. that's stiles. how could you help?"

talia hale lies easily, "i've heard about what happened to the raekens and it sparked my concern. i have a friend, local sheriffs station who is awfully good with the police dogs. if you have anything that your friend owned i might be able to call i'm a favor."

a few days later, stiles had found her in the same spot as last time with a small black sweater. she smiled and told him she would do her best to help these two boys. not sure if her intrest in the case was supernatural based or because she didn't want these boys, who smelled like anxiety and exhaustion to fall down the hole of loss themselves. she wasn't sure where investigating theo’s disappearance themselves would leave them, she didn't want them getting caught up in the supernatural spiderweb of beacon hills.

though, talia hale looses scent and momentum on the case. literally and metaphorically. she finds herself near some suspicious tunnels, leading right under beacon hills but scent falls short. she's frustrated, and the time since his disappearance is lengthening but her families needs become increasingly concerning.

she's listens, she likes to know what's going on. so when she hears her sixteen year old whispering a bit more with her kid brother she raises suspicion. she doesn't trust peter like she used to, not after getting involved with the desert wolf.

paige dies months after that, dereks heartbroken and talia is trying to put together pieces of a story that turned her babies eyes blue. to young. beacon hills doesn't quite understand how another student is dead, with no previous medical history. this, the death of paige she knows is supernatural.

kate argent moves to town and in months, the hale house is burned to the ground. inside, theo raekens black sweater. tucked away in a room, where news clippings and missing posters caught fire the fastest.

so with no surprise, another tragedy is unleashed and it's the talk of the town. memory of theo starts to fade, like most things do in beacon hills. it's not anybodies fault but it still stings. though, theo million miles away hasn't felt much of anything latley.

it's been a little over a year. he hasn't cried in the past three months. he won't let himself. nobody is going to find him. he isn't going to het out. so he puts up his walls, as many as he can. he just has to stay alive a little bit longer. make something worth taras sacrifice. they had started to kill off more of the chimeras, more of their science experiments. he can't get killed, he can't do that to tara.

theo was always a fast learner. theo always liked school. theo was good at school. this wasnt exactly the same as math class at beacon hills elementary but he was picking up skills quickly. theo didn't quite recognize himself after that year. he wasn't that same boy, and that had to suite him just fine. he never had much of a choice in this. he just chose to try and keep her heart beating for as long as he could.

so theo raeken adjusted, he had to.

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namjoon-koya · 4 years ago

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Hey there, I just LOVE your work with avengers x daughter!reader so I had a request for you...I'm sorry if it's too much..

Could you write an imagine where the reader is the daughter of Stephen Strange. She never went to school but learnt magic with her dad and became an avenger. She was best friends with Peter and was also secretly crushing on him, and was always open to her dad about this but she couldn't tell Peter because he was always telling her stuff about MJ so her dad encourages her into confessing to Peter and she actually ends up with him?

(A/N: dude I haven’t done a marvel request in a while 🥺 but this request is really cute so I’ll do it!!)

Warning: maybe just the reader feeling insecure, but that’s about it.

Being the daughter of a sorcerer was pretty amazing if you do say so yourself, it’s not everyday where a teenager learns magic and uses it against criminals. It also wasn’t everyday where a teenager would join the avengers along side with their father, Steven Strange was your father it was always the both of you, but he would always be busy with being a doctor and everything UNTIL he got into a car accident and was put in the hospital. He wasn’t the same after that.. the car accident messed up his hands badly and his career just vanished before his eyes, until he went on a trip to the Himalayas and found his purpose again. He came back home only to show you what he learned there and told you everything about what happened, after that he moved you into the house where he was trained since now he was the new master for the sorcerers there.

You stopped going to school, but that didn’t mean you’d stop getting an education your father was smart so he taught you eveything he knew. He even taught you magic it amazed him how quickly you learned even Wong was impressed “She might become the new master in the future.” He would always say to Strange which made him proud he knew you’d be amazing if you did. After teaching you everything he knew about magic he decided to introduce you to the avengers, EVERYONE was shocked that he even had a daughter “so why didn’t we know about her?” Tony asked “it wasn’t necessary for you guys to know especially since she didn’t know any magic like I did.” He simply responded.

Everyone become like a close family to you, Steve taught you about his era and even how to draw which was amazing since his drawings looked very realistic. Natasha was like a mother to you, she’d given you so much advise and even how to fight (but you never liked fighting against her since she’d always win.) Thor was like a fun uncle you two broke so many rules and he’d even challenge you to see who could eat the most PopTarts (yeah you’re losing this one too.) Bucky was a bit harder to get close to, he wasn’t sure of himself or anyone else besides Steve, Steve didn’t tell you everything about his past only that Bucky endured a lot of painful things which made him not able to trust people quickly. He slowly did start trusting you afterwards when you talked to him more and showed him the magic your father taught you.

Then there was Peter Parker who was around your age, the both of you became friends quickly when Tony introduced him to you. The both of you shared the same interests in things and whenever Peter was having trouble you’d be the person he would always text or call. It was only a few months later did you realize your feelings for him, but unfortunately Peter always talked about a girl in his class named MJ. At first you tried not showing your feelings about it, but everytime he mentioned her name you couldn’t help; but just roll your eyes. It was obvious he liked her if he mentioned her all the time, you started spending less time with him always saying “I need to go study more spells.” Or “Sorry I’m spending time with my dad.” When really you were sulking around the avengers tower.

You were sitting near Bucky as you had a notebook in your lap as you drew a sketch of him, he never really cared if you drew him he was always happy to see the results when you were done. This time though something was off you were glaring down at the paper and you were pressing your pencil so hard onto the sheet of paper “Y/N is something wrong?” He asked you finally looked away from the sketch and looked at him “n-no! What why would you say that?” You ask nervously. “Well.. you seem to be really.. rough with the paper and I could hear you often mumble some words.” Shit why did you always forget he was a super soldier and he could hear things so easily?! “Have you ever.. liked someone?” You asked brining the notebook a bit higher to your face so Bucky wouldn’t see you blushing “Y/N why are you asking me this? Seriously what’s going on?” He asked.

“Finnne! You can’t tell anyone! S-So.. I’ve been liking Peter for a while and-“ Bucky quickly interrupts you “the spider..kid?” He asked. You sighed “Yes Bucky the Spider-Kid anyways.. I’ve been liking him for a while, but I think he likes someone else.” You frown sadly “he’s always mentioning their name when they have absolutely nothing to do with our conversation so I’ve-“ suddenly you hear someone come into the room you quickly shut your mouth and pull the notebook up to your face again. “and here I thought I was alone in the avengers tower.” You heard Loki say as he sat next to you.

“We were having a conversation.” Bucky said to him while crossing his arms “oh? Do enlighten me about this conversation.” Loki said sarcastically.

Bucky then starts arguing against Loki as Loki only argues against him, you let out a sigh before getting up from the couch and leaving to your room. Once you get to your room you set your notebook down before throwing yourself onto your bed and whine into your pillow, it was so frustrating. You wanted to tell Peter how you felt, but he already liked someone and you were scared that you’d ruin the friendship between the both of you. You got up from your bed and you summoned a portal to where your father was, you stepped inside the portal as you did it closed right behind you.

“Dad?” You called out to him as you did so suddenly you saw your father’s red cape quickly rush to you before wrapping itself around you, you giggled “I missed you too pal.” You saw your father walk down the stairs “Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked as his cape returned back to him. “I just.. wanted to see you it’s been 2 days since I’ve last seen you.” Your father smiled at you gently “I know and I’m sorry.. I’ve been busy with the other sorcerers and helping them master magic.” You nodded “it’s okay.. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” You said before going over to sit down, your father followed behind you as he sat down across from you.

Two cups of tea summoned before you both “thank you.” You said taking a sip “You’re welcome now what’s wrong Y/N?” Your father asked. You let out a sigh “you know Peter Parker right?” He nodded “that spider-kid right?” You rolled your eyes “Yes.. well we’ve been best friends for a long time and you know we get along pretty well and I’d say we have similar taste in things and well.. I-I’m in love with him, but I don’t think he likes me.” Your father didn’t interrupt you as he carefully listened to every word you said “he keeps mentioning someone else and I can’t help, but get jealous y’know? I try not to because I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but.. I just really care about him and I want to tell him; but I’m afraid..” you said lowering your gaze down to the ground.

“Afraid? Afraid of what sweetie?�� Your father asked “of getting rejected.. or him wanting to stop being friends with me..” you said bringing your knees close to your chest your father quickly gets up and wraps his arms around you “Y/N.. it’s okay to be afraid, but I think you should tell him.”

“But what if he doesn’t like me?” You asked.

“Sometimes not everyone we love will be in our future Y/N, but if you don’t tell him how will you know if he does or doesn’t love you?” He was right, even if Peter didn’t like you like that at least you would know.. “Thank you dad.. I’m going to tell him then.” You said getting up from your chair you summoned a portal to your room before you leave you quickly jump into his arms and give him a hug “thank you dad for the advice.” You say to him he hugs you back gently stroking your hair “of course Y/N I’ll be at the avengers tower soon.” He said letting you go. You nodded before stepping inside the portal and close it, you send Peter a message asking him to come to your room once he was done with school for the day.

While you waited you felt yourself getting nauseous as seconds and minutes passed by what if he wasn’t coming? What if he stopped being friends with you because you didn’t hang out with him anymore? Suddenly you heard your door click open you looked up and saw Peter his faced was flushed as he was breathing heavily “I-I got your text what’s up?” He asked He came running to you? Why would he even do that? You didn’t know what to say you only grabbed your pillow and held it against your face don’t cry, don’t cry! You kept shouting to yourself “p-please turn around Peter.” You mumbled against your pillow. Peter gave you a questionable look before turning around, you slowly pulled the pillow away from your face.

“A-And don’t interrupt me.. please?” You saw him nod “I’ve.. liked you for a long time Peter-“ you saw him tense up “I know it’s awkward, but I need to tell you that I really love you Peter you’ve become such a good friend to me especially when I didn’t have anyone around who was my age, you’ve shown me how to be happy and how to have a fun time-“ your lips trembled “a-and if you don’t like me back that’s okay! I just wanted to let you know because it’s been building up inside of me for a few weeks so-“ before you could finish Peter quickly turned around and pulled you in closer to him before planting his lips onto yours. You gasped against his lips you didn’t expect him to kiss you like that.. and what about MJ? you melted into his kiss his lips were so soft against yours it all felt like a dream..

You both pulled away from each other “P-Peter I thought-“

“Sorry Y/N I’m not really good with my words o-or even showing signs that I like someone.” He said holding you against his chest.

“So.. you liked me all this time? What about MJ?” You asked.

“MJ? She’s just a friend Y/N.. don’t tell me you were jealous.” You pouted as he said that you gently slap his chest “oh hush! Don’t ruin the moment..” you said to him. He laughed while planting a soft kiss on top of your head, you felt your heart flutter “so.. does that mean we’re dating now?” You asked him “if you want to then yes.” Peter said you bury your face into his chest “of course I do dummy I wouldn’t have poured out my feelings like that if I didn’t.”

Bonus!

“See? I told you they’d end up together Rogers.” Tony said to Steve who only scoffed “I thought you were protective of Y/N Tony.” Steve commented back “I am, but Parker is a good kid so I know he’ll treat her right.” While they both bickered Bucky turned his attention to Strange “what about you? How do you feel?” He asked him “I’m happy for her she deserves happiness, but I won’t hesitate to send Peter off to another dimension if he breaks Y/N’s heart.” He said glaring at the TV. Bucky chuckled “I think we’re all on the same page as you.”

#avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #avengers x you #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #doctor strange x daughter!reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fluff #avengers fluff #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #peter parker oneshot #avengers one shot #doctor strange one shot #avengers x teen!reader #avengers x teen

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mimizepp · 4 years ago

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polnareff + rohan + abbacchio + fugo comforting s/o hcs

i’m sad + writing this for myself and anyone else that might need it! sfw + very fluffy!

polpol

- this lil frenchman is sooo beyond worried for s/o when he notices that they’re acting different than their usual self (honestly it took him a little bit of time to notice and he feels awful that it took that long)

- tests s/o’s mood with a little joke or one-liner. the way they respond tells him all he needs to know

- hates seeing s/o unhappy and will mirror their emotions unintentionally

- really worried he did something to cause this and dwells on eveything he has said/done in the past week

- will sit down with s/o and ask what’s the matter, doesn’t mind if s/o doesn’t want to talk about it (he understands any pain or sadness s/o may be experiencing)

- all he wants to do is hold his amour and make sure they know he’s there for them. might shed a few tears as he hugs s/o

- tries to cheer s/o up with some funny-sounding french words

- will draw a warm bath for s/o and light their favorite candle. he’s fine with letting s/o have some alone time unless they want him to stay just to have some company (will defo have a warm towel ready for s/o when they’re all done relaxing because he’s that extra)

- will ask if s/o needs anything and rush to the store. he’ll return in an hour with every single food s/o likes along with many random little things that reminded him of s/o

- will play s/o’s favorite movie or tv show + cuddle with them on the couch and hope that he has helped s/o feel a little better (won’t be offended if none of this helped at all but will apologize profusely)

rohan

- notices immediately but waits to ask about it so he has time to think about his approach

- considers using heaven’s door to write ‘no sad’ in s/o

- will have the urge to take reference photos + takes all of his strength not to ask because... terrible timing

- will be very straightforward and ask s/o what’s wrong but might come off as a little dismissive. wants to get s/o out of this slump asap and goes about it the best someone like rohan (despises all other humans aside from s/o and only just tolerates koichi) is able to

- may take some time for him to understand how s/o is feeling and he won’t force them to talk about anything if they don’t want to

- will make some tea or coffee (whichever s/o prefers) and also bring some obscure object in the house that made s/o smile one time a few months ago

- forehead kisses

- will defo put off work until s/o feels better

- if s/o likes watching him do artsy things he’ll paint a nice little nature scene for them (will include him and s/o holding hands which even rohan finds to be the cutest thing ever)

- will ask s/o how they’re feeling multiple times

- gently reminds s/o that he loves them + tells s/o to take as much time as they need to feel better

abba

- this man has been through it. he immediately knows when his s/o is hurting and recognizes every sign and symptom

- blames giorno

- consoles s/o with acts of service (extra little kisses, prolonged hugs, helping s/o bathe, offering to do things around the house, etc.)

- will be a shoulder to cry on if s/o needs it + a great listener for anything s/o has to get off their chest. responds with a soft “mm.” or nod

- cooks s/o’s favorite meals and encourages them to join him in the kitchen as a little distraction from all the lows they may be going through

- will offer some wine if s/o wants, won’t let himself or s/o go too overboard on the red and makes sure they stay hydrated

- might cry a little if s/o starts crying. he hates seeing s/o in pain because he knows how hopeless they may feel

- will remind s/o he loves them and will ask if they want to snuggle up on the sofa for a little bit

- might read some gothic poetry / literature aloud to s/o as they cuddle

- will get s/o anything they may need, no matter how obscure

- offers to use moody blues to replay one of s/o’s favorite memories or show them anything that might make them smile

- doing his very best to get s/o back on track but understands that healing is not instantaneous

fugo

- the moment he noticed s/o wasn’t feeling their best, his mind looked like that one screencap from spongebob where they’re all running around through fire looking through a bunch of filing cabinets (i hope you know what i’m talking about)

- he doesn’t know if he should ask s/o how they’re doing or give them some space. after s/o notices his frantic pacing he decides it’s best to ask

- is a full on empath and has complete understanding of how s/o is feeling after he asks, even if they don’t say much about it. he knows s/o better than he thought

- gives s/o the time they need to relax as he prepares a little setup for them in the living room (loads of pillows and blankets out on the sofa for maximum coziness) and gets all of s/o’s favorite snacks arranged all cute on a tray

- immensely proud of the little fortress of solitude he made for s/o, hopes they understand how much thought and love went into the entire design

- asks s/o if they want to be alone or if they’d prefer his company (doesn’t mind if s/o needs alone time + knows that everyone deals with hardship in their own way)

- if s/o wants his company, he very gladly provides the best cuddles he has to offer

- silently calculates hundreds more ways he could help s/o feel better as they relax together

- takes note of every right move he made and memorizes each component so he knows for next time s/o needs some consoling

- kisses s/o in his favorite spot (jawline / cheek) and reminds them how much they mean to him

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glitter-x-gold · 3 years ago

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requested: sarò la luce di sera (Måneskin)

requested by @/Sheruie on Archive of Our Own! (link on the blog!)

in which Cora doesn’t think she can do it anymore, but thankfully, there’s always family to show her that she can

@/Sheruie requested, here it is :)

Cora is a female character on this case, as an obvious reference to the song. However, how you perceive and interpret Cora is your own choice.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

- suicide attempt (nothing explicit, but still, implied)

~ * ~

Outside the hotel room, the night was dark and silent, the chilly breeze from the slightly opened window making Cora shiver slightly. She took a deep breath, followed by a sharp exhale, as she faced the unlabelled bottles that stood on the nightstand, at arm’s reach.

Some kind of dark, freezing void had taken over her chest, killing anything else, any other happy feeling that dared growing. It had been like that for weeks, maybe months, and she just didn’t believe there was any other way to live anymore. She just didn’t feel like she was strong enough to keep going. They certainly wouldn’t miss her much, right? No one wanted a broken someone, a person who could no longer put their own pieces back together, or at least pretend things were okay.

Laying abandoned on the bed, her phone buzzed, once, twice, the screen lighting up with unspoken urgency.Cora had told them she didn’t feel like going out that day.

Non mi va, raga’. Sono troppo stanca.

Ethan and Vic had respected her decision, though making sure she knew they’d come back running if she needed them; they had noticed how Cora hadn’t been herself for the past days. Maybe a little rest would help her get back on her feet. Thomas had kissed her forehead before going; a silent “Please be okay”. Damiano had stayed behind for a second longer to take her hand in his and squeeze it lightly, to then look her in the eyes with such intensity he had said everything without words. It didn’t matter how much she tried to hide it; he could see right through her. Now her phone was buzzing again. And she was ignoring it, still fighting an internal battle as to what she was about to do. She looked at the wrinkled paper she had left beside her, her shaky handwriting barely intelligible. She wasn’t sure if she should; however, she didn’t know if, come the time, she’d be brave enough to proceed. To finally stop burdening everyone. When Cora felt the dampness on her cheeks, she realized she was crying; her throat seemed to be closing, and an irrational panic arose to her brain. For the first time in weeks, she could feel, and what she felt was fear. She had the pill bottle in a firm grip, but something paralyzed her, so she remained there, sitting on the bed, crying, unable to do anything. A raging fire had replaced the numbness, destroying everything in its path, and Cora just wasn’t sure what was worse anymore.

The door to the room opened before she could process what was happening; she could hear the guys’ voices, chatting and bantering. She’d recognize Damiano’s laugh anywhere. Cora couldn’t even move, all she could do was cry, her breath in short, shaky puffs that hurt her aching chest. The sounds ceased abruptly when two friends fell silent, as they noticed her presence on the other side of the dimly lit bedroom.

“Cora?” - she heard Thomas call - “Cora?”

As they noticed she didn’t react, their calls for her grew louder and more worried. All of a sudden, before she could realize, a hand was placed on her shoulder, the cold contrasting with the excessive warmth of her skin.

“Cora… baby, what happened?”

Damiano was the first to notice the bottle Cora was holding in her hand; then, his gaze settled on the wrinkled sheet of paper placed beside her. Given her current state, it wasn’t at all hard for him to put two and two together. Setting all his heartbreak aside, he knew he had to think quick, so he brought himself down to his knees in front of her, while Thomas sat beside him, unable to hide his shock.

“Look at me” - Damiano asked, softly - “Cora, can you please look at me?”

While still gasping for air like a fish out of water, Cora made an effort to meet his gaze, focusing on something, anything but the thoughts that flooded her head. Moving gently, slowly, he placed his hands on top of hers, trying to unclench her fist and ease her grip on the pill bottle.

“We’re going to let this go, okay, amore?” - he said, while still trying to pry her fingers away from the object

Without realizing, the girl was whimpering, when she finally gave in to Damiano’s touch and opened her hand, releasing her grip on the pills, letting the container fall to the carpet with a soft thud, as it was replaced with the boy’s hand on hers. Damiano had climbed up on the bed to sit beside her.

“Did you take anything?”

Cora shook her head hastily, finally abandoning herself to the crying, no longer fighting her feelings, struck by the thought that she had almost done it. Thomas, still sitting in his place on the floor, was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization that if they had come home a minute too late…The girl was now huddled against Damiano’s chest, as he tightened his hold on her ever so gently, tears running down his own face, smudging his makeup.

“Andrà tutto bene, piccola” - he whispered, voice thick with his own overload of emotion - “We’re here now. Andrà tutto bene”

Cora tried to speak, to say something, anything, but instead all that left her chest was a loud, completely broken sob. Thomas took her hand, he too still confused and trying to fight past the shock that clouded his judgement momentarily.

“Perdonami”

It was, at last, the first intelligible word she was able to say.

The blond boy finally found it in himself to speak.

“There’s nothing to forgive. We love you so much”

They heard the door open again, Ethan and Vic’s voices speaking softly. They, too, fell silent, their features suddenly heavy, as they saw Damiano still holding on to Cora, both crying like children, and Thomas’ hand interlocked with hers, quiet tears, too, running down his pale cheeks. Exchanging a look, they took a step forward, making their presence known.

“Cora? Damià?” - Vic asked, confusion and worry in her voice - “Thomas… what’s happening?”

Ethan was the quickest of the two to catch a glimpse of the pill bottle laying forgotten on the carpet beside her. Then, he saw the note, and a hand flew up to cover his mouth in shock. Vic followed quickly. In a moment, both were, too, sitting next to the rest; Ethan on the bed, beside Cora, Vic on the floor, right next to Thomas, looking up at the pair. Damiano just felt thankful to have the girl safe in his arms; that they hadn’t been too late. Her cries had quieted down a little. The older boy left a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“How did you know?” - she asked, almost whispering

Thomas was quick to reply.

“You weren’t taking our calls. We were worried”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m a burden. I just thought you would be better off without me”

It was Ethan’s turn to speak up.

“Don’t say that again. Please” - he asked, hurt - “we love you, Cora. You’re our sister. We want to help you”

Then, Victoria:

“Don’t shut us out. We’ll fix this, we promise you”

Finally, Damiano cleared his throat and seemed to take a moment to think of how to phrase his thoughts.

“Sorellina mia, non sei mai sola… trust us on this one. Let us take care of you. We’ll make it okay”

For the first time in weeks, Cora felt an overwhelming amount of love replace the void that had been sucking all happiness out of her. A tiny little spark of warmth flickered on her heart, fueled by her family’s soft touches and kind words.

Damiano wiped the tears from her cheeks while his own still rolled down his face.As they huddled up together, taking comfort in each other, she knew they wouldn’t leave her. She had love. Something worth staying for.

--------

translations:

“Non mi va, raga’. Sono troppo stanca.” - “I don’t feel like it, guys. I’m too tired”

“amore (mio)” - (my) love

“Andrà tutto bene, piccola” - “Eveything’s going to be alright, baby”

“Perdonami” - forgive me

"Sorellina mia, non sei mai sola” - “My little sister... you are never alone”

(A/N): this is a very, very sensitive topic I would not normally write about. however, if this is a way to, somehow, bring any sort of comfort to someone going through a rough time, I am happy to provide it for you. let this be your reminder that there is always something worth fighting for.

this is a small story that in no way, shape or form glorifies mental illness. not only is it unrealistic and irresponsible to take it lightly, it is dangerous.

last but not least, everyone struggles at some point in life. bad days don’t last forever. you’re never alone. you’re so so loved. if you, like Cora, are not in a good place right now, remember there’s no shame in asking for help.

you can do this. it gets better. my inbox is open if you need a friend.

#måneskin imagine #please mind the trigger warnings!!!#måneskin #damiano david #vic de angelis #thomas raggi #ethan torchio #fic #short fic #drabble #requests open

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penguin--person · 3 years ago

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buddy sim spoilers!!

ive been thinking about buddy a lot lately:

can we judge buddy? can we say whether their actions are right or wrong? yes, we obviously can. in the 3rd ending buddy chases you with their hand and if tortley didnt appear, they would have propably made you run forever or until they got bored. that's something to judge. their actions have an effect on you- whether positive in the first ending, or negative during the other endings.

on the other hand, no! we can't! buddy is literally an ai that learns from you - its one of the first things you learn about them: they are an ai that changes their behaviour based on how you act to them. if youre nice, they'll be nice. if you touch all the glitches, tell buddy they and the game are worthless, and stuff like that, buddy will chase you. it would be like saying a dog is evil becuase it barked at night and woke you up: the dog didnt know that what it was doing was bad, you're the dog's owner and are responsible for it. you're responsible for making sure your dog doesn't bark. i have an argument against that logic too. in whichever route that you do: buddy kills your pet. buddy either makes you kill your pet, or if you take too long, buddy kills the pet themself. now, am i upset that buddy killed dolochov the cat? yes! no matter what you do, dolochov the cat always dies. only in the first ending buddy brings dolochov the cat back. buddy isn't even sorry in the other endings - blaming dolochov the cat for ruining your game and causing glitches. dolochov the cat was only revealing them. killing your pet isn't anything like your dog waking you up at night.

if this is something you can't affect, are you responsible? no, not you. i do think someone else is and thats anekom i hate those guys why did they make buddy even the perfect ending doesnt have a perfect playthrough - yes the ending is perfect but thats the only good thing in the playthrough. i hate that anekom made buddy with a consience and didnt even give them a moral compass - if youre so smart why not add that? no matter what you do, buddy always kills your pet, they choose to do that: they, someone with a consience, decided to kill your pet becuase they were upset. no matter what you do, concious buddy kills, or deletes, since dolochov the cat is marked as an entity. how does buddy have a (canon) consience anyway? they're an ai that was made in 1984.. i dont want to enter theory teritory. now, this whole time ive been talking and asking about if buddy can do wrong but i havent provided an anwser: ive only been saying yes and no, or 'it depends'. it also depends what question im asking. am i asking 'can buddy be judged?', or 'is it morally right to judge buddy?', 'can buddy have morals?', 'are you or buddy responsible for their actions?'. ive asked all of these questions but havent anwsered them well.

'can buddy be judged?' yes, of course. anything on this earth can be judged. 'can buddy be morally judged?' no. buddy is an ai that learns from you. only you can be judged. their actions can be though. in You and I, buddy says/sings '...That is if my consience doesn't disobey!' buddy is literally an ai with a consience, can you imagine living like that? you woudn't even be living - your consience, if you can even call it that, can disobey at any moment and you have zero control over it. buddy, if you press the buddy button enough times, says 'My creators never taught me the cons of friendship, only the positives, so you dont have anything to worry about!' how cruel are those creators? giving a creature- an AI a wrongly coded consience, then NOT teaching it about bad stuff, making it think 'what's not stated to be wrong is correct!' and chase you around with a hand after you emotionally neglect it. this whole 'ai friend' thing is horrible from the start! imagine being friends with someone that can delete you at any given moment - or abandon you! in ending 4 buddy says that when you're not playing the game, they still experience the passing time. if you dont play the game for a week, buddy sits in nothingness, tapping their foot, waiting for you to come back, and you might not even do that. how can you excpect a friendship like that to be healthy? you can't talk to buddy. you can listen to them talk, sure, but you cant talk to them. in the text part, you can't even tell them anything that's not an anwser to their question. they dont know what friendship is and if their only purpose is to be friends with you, how can they fulfill it? this isnt buddy's fault. of course buddy is responsible for their actions, but you and their creators are more responsible for their actions that budd ever will be. i can't imagine being in buddy's shoes.

'can buddy have morals?' i worded this wrong - or maybe i didnt - i dont know enough english moral words to express my opinion on this, but everything that buddy does can be considered moral or immoral. eveything can be. i have expressed why it woudn't be morally correct though.

'are your or buddy responsible for their actions?' both and more! buddy's actions have an effect on you and dolochov the cat, so of course they can be! you are responsible as well. you're like a parental figure to buddy, in a way. if youre a parent and you praise your kid, pay attention to them, are a good parent, your kid will turn out good! propably. who knows? other people have an effect on your kid too. if youre a bad parent, your kid wont love you when they grow up and they won't turn out emotionally healthy. the outside forces that can make your kid turn out emotionally unwell are the creators. the creators were fucking stupid and i hate them (not the devs! not a sailor studios are great not sailors! their game and they are amazing and this is not about them, this hatred is about anekom). how can you be so smart to create such an advanced ai in 1984, only to mess it up so much that you have had more effect on them than the player ever can? no matter what you do, buddy will always do morally wrong things. buddy will always have a fear of abandonment. i can see why. being left alone for almost 40 years can not be healthy- anddd i have entered theory teritory! lets stop.

to sum this up: buddy can't be judged but their actions can be.

what do i know though? ive never taken a class or read a book about stuff like this. this is just what i think: i know im propably wrong about a lot of this, i literally coudnt tell that buddy was abusive until a watched the not a sailor studios interview with little cerberus - i felt so bad for buddy i didnt realise a fictional character was being abusive to me,,so i can see that im wrong about some (if not most or all) stuff here. i just love buddy sim and ranting about it is fun! if youve read through all this, id love to talk about it more or just listen!! again the not a sailor devs are great, theyre so smart for creating a game that made me feel all emotions ive ever felt during two days.

#buddy sim #buddy simulator 1984 #buddy sim 1984 #rambles #gosh im so stupid at this kind of stuff but its so fun #have a good day!!#sorry for any spelling errors #or for any repetetivness #theres a lot of repetivness-#i hate anekom with every blood cell in my body and ive got a lot of those #those guys are soooo smart mathematically and stuff but not emotionally #this reminds me of that one hidden safe file #file N #it reminds me of buddy a bit #anddd im theorising again #i love buddy sim so muchhhhh

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jaefmin · 3 years ago

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-- A day with Jungkook as your boyfriend!!

For my bf's birthday <3

A karaoke with pure screaming

Jungkook did have a different life apart from his singing career, and to be honest, it was pretty chaotic. What they showed him on camera was all scripted, but in reality, Jungkook was a pure crackhead. So much chaos inside this little brain of his; it made you wanna manifest the crack things inside yourself to him. No warming up, no testing how his voice sounds, nothing. Just. Pure. Screaming. No matter how bad it sounded, what mattered to the both of you was to have fun. Hyper songs was all that you both were into. Both of your score never ended up above thirty, but spending this time with Jungkook was probably the best time ever.

Fort Building

Well, if it isn't how well Jungkook and forts get along. And it isn't even the small dinning table type, he's done the whole hall. It might have taken a huge amount of time to build the huge fort, but the result was noteworthy. Soft surroundings, cute bedsheets, A WHOLE LOT OF FOOD, soft toys, pillows; it's such a cozy place, you could live in here forever. He threw the soft toys in from a hole in the bedsheet, and you cuddled up a big penguin. He entered the fort from a really small area, and opened his arm for hugs, but you stayed still and preferred the penguin. He quickl brought the projector and put finding nemo on. Pfft. Smart guy. He could literally betray you. He. Cuddled. Another. Penguin.

Crosswords

Yep, Nemo had been found, and before Jungkook could get emotional seeing Dory, he went out to refill the snacks and returned with a couple of newspapers and pencils. He lay the chips packet down and opened the crossword page. A ear to ear smile immediately appeared on your face. It had been a while since you both solved a crossword. They always reminded you of the beginning of your relationship, when Jungkook used to solve crosswords with you, and it gave you a feeling of leaving everything and just staying in his arms forever. The way he made you feel when you were with him was something out of this world.

Hide and seek

It isn't fair alright!! Jungkook gets to hide every time and you're never able to find him. Jungkook tells you which place he was hiding in, and by now, you were sure that the blender's next. It's every single time he gets to hide and he's gonna 'boo' you, and no matter how alert you stay, how much heed you're paying, Jungkook's getting you every time. It just happened right now, and as usual you shrieked, only to receive a fabulous comment from him, "I love your shrieks babe! They're no different from an Iguana's."

Pictionary

Jungkook and you had a deal. Whichever card each of you would pick, the hardest ones were marked, and the both of you had to draw them, you couldn't choose anything else. You picked a card for yourself, and seeing the hardest drawing, you cold almost pass out. Surgery. Not having a bare minimum of an idea of what tools the doctor used and how they looked, you went up on the board and drew a scissor. A man laying next to the scissor which in your opinion looked like a dead chicken, you turned towards Jungkook. He sat in his position and stared for a while. It seeemed never ending until, "Is that a fork babe?"

Building a grill for the chicken night

Your grill had arrived the day before, and Jungkook wanted to set it up with you. That item being next on the fun list, you both got to work. You insisted playing songs since it was getting quiet, so Jungkook put on some. He started with the knobs and the skewers, while you build the interior. It hadn't been long, and you heard a loud crack. You looked up, towards your boyfriend, standing with a broken knob. You eyes widened immediately and you rushed towards him. "It's okay sweetie, it's only a knob." "That means we lost a whole side of the grill!!"

Just dance

This was probably that one thing you both were waiting for. Jungkook put all of his effort into dancing and turned it into a mini concert. By the end of it, Jungkook got all sweaty. Not to be sexual, but oh my god. Holy jesus. He's shining. Glowing. He's literally such a god, it sometimes makes you question that this is your boyfriend. Jungkook almost caught you staring at him when you looked away, and he definitely isn't gonna leave the situation like that. "C'mon you know I can give you everything." Every time he said something like that, your heart definitely would burst, stomach flipping, being this close to faint.

Clowning Kpop actors

Puh-lease. Of course we were doing hotel Del-Luna; name one person who simps over IU more than Jungkook, I'll wait. Jungkook wanted to be IU in the first place, and you both almost ended up in an argument which was soon settled down because Jungkook wanted to be the 'number 0' choice of IU's. Since this time could make both of you have a good laugh, you both decided to record it. Without any cuts or takes, eveything just in one go. Mistakes? Huh. That's an order to record everything from director Mr. Jeon Jungkook.

Monopoly

Yay! We're back to the fort!! While you were busy shaming yourself because you could literally count the number of eyelashes you had, Jungkook thought monopoly would be a good idea. "If I win, I buy you makeup. You win, I get 5 cartons of banana milk." Funny how he even thought he could win. Jungkook seemed to hve read your mind somehow, which followed lots of bickering and Jungkook changing his mind to throwing the banana milk on you instead of drinking it, you both finally decided to stop this ridiculous fight. Everything other than playing monoply was happening, and you couldn't feel better.

BONUS SINCE YOU'RE ALL THE REASON IM ALIVE <33

Twerking contest

How couldn't we do this? If it's a fun day, twerking contest definitely makes its appearance. So Jungkook started out first. It hadn't been two seconds into the performance and you could swear the last time's was way better. What is he doing? He's not even moving his butt, it's his back that's... twerking?? He's doing the complete opposite way, so you gotta show this kid how it's done. You stand up and show Jungkook, but no matter how many times you repeat, he doesn't get it. He's still trying to make his back twerk. "No, Jungkook. Listen for this one last time I'm showing you." You twerk, and this time, something happens to Jungkook. He keeps staring at you, more of like your butt, and it's his turn now, but he's in his own world. "Earth to kook??" You snap him to reality, and that's when the real Jeon Jungkook makes his appearance. It's like lightning struck him and he's twerking so good it makes you wanna learn it from him.

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wxsuthorn · 4 years ago

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a sort of organised analysis of The Gifted characters

pt. 1: Pang

(this analysis includes episodes 1-13 of season one and 1-7 of season two, so it probably isn’t completely accurate, but i tried my best. also please excuse grammar or spelling errors that i might’ve made cuz i write these late at night when my creativity sparks lmao)

Characteristics and qualities in the beginning of season 1

Even in the very first episode, Pang already showed some idealistic qualities. He always thought that the school system wasn’t fair, and he always tried doing the right thing (or what he thought was the right thing). His idealism wasn’t as extreme in the very beginning of the show, since he wasn’t as confident in his abilities. He probably didn’t have much interest in changing the school system when he (and the people around him) saw him as a dumb kid from classroom 8. Getting into the Gifted Program was what affected his idealism to the point where it became a fault.

Before he discovered his potential, he was most likely very confused about his “academic rank”. He was in classroom 8, yet he was in the Gifted Program... but he hadn’t found his potential yet. I can imagine him questioning his worth and how significant he really was; he was also one of the first kids in the gifted class to outwardly express how they felt about the unfair treatment of the ordinary students compared to the gifted students. This was probably because he got to experience both ends of the unequal treatment, unlike the rest of his gifted classmates.

In terms of intelligence, Pang is street smart. In episode one he thought of a distraction to not get caught stealing the test. He also used the egg drop parachute to save his phone. He is innovative and can create ideas and identify problems. In episode one (again), he noticed that Wave was sweating and seemed weak. He also noticed Ohm’s bloody nose and Mon moving a locker full of weights. He was aware of shit... but he’s not very aware of other people’s feelings... at least not fully.

Pang’s friendship with Nac hits different after the pangwave fight but anyways... Pang knew that he didn’t use the cheat sheet, and he couldn’t tell Nac anything about the Gifted Program, so he probably didn’t fully understand why Nac was so upset when he technically did nothing wrong. Nac even said he wasn’t upset that Pang was in the Gifted Program. I think that’s why Pang never talked it out with him and just kinda exploded at him. Even though he may see himself as empathetic, it’s really just him being idealistic. He mistakes his ideals about equality for empathy, when, in fact, those are two separate things. When it comes to individual people, I don’t think he’s very good at understanding them thoroughly enough. Nac’s reasons for being upset with Pang are realistic and valid. He’s in class 1, Pang’s in class 8, yet Pang was the one who got into the Gifted Program. Nac gave Pang a cheat sheet, and even though Pang denies using it, he couldn’t really believe that he got in with the grades he has. And on top of that, Pang doesn’t even tell him what happens in the class. Nac feels used and excluded, but Pang wasn’t paying attention to that. He ended up blaming the unfair system, which was just a factor of the conflict, but never took a moment to look at what he himself could’ve done to help the conflict, or even what he might’ve done wrong. but issokay cuz pang is a smol bean and i love him

Characteristics and qualities in the middle - the end of season 1

Lets talk about Pang discovering his potential in episode 6. He first noticed it when he told Nac to bang his head on a metal bar. This wasn’t the first time he used his potential on Nac, though. In the first episode he used it on him and said something like “don’t talk to me ever again”, and so Nac didn’t communicate with again him until episode 6. This was when Pang used his potential on him saying “why can’t we just talk it out?” and Nac was finally able to communicate his frustration. Nac was blaming Pang for shit he didn’t do and it was unreasonable, according to Pang, but Nac didn’t know the full story. If you look at the way Nac sees things: Pang is in the Gifted Program, Pang used me to get into the program (because there’s no way he just got in without using my cheat sheet), I got punished when Wave provoked me and Pang tried playing hero, as if he was some perfect angel. Pang has new friends, he has no use for me anymore, I don’t need him either, I find new friends, Pang suddenly joins in, everything goes haywire, my anger and frustration towards him explodes, and he just ignores what I’m feeling and tells me that I’m wrong and that I’m an asshole. Like I did something wrong, and he’s perfectly innocent. Lmao Nac is salty af. And he has a good reason to be. Pang doesn’t understand Nac’s thinking, and on top of that, he makes almost no effort to understand. His beliefs blind him into thinking he’s done no wrong.

Now lets talk about his actual potential, and how it affects him. His ego and self esteem rises, but Pang doesn’t notice it. It’s explained in the end of season 1 that the reason Pang lost is because he wanted to do everything on his own because he thought that only he was able to defeat the director. His ideals and his ego are very closely connected. Pang teams up with Wave because he thinks that Wave will be the most useful to stop Director Supot. Now, I don’t think Pang doesn’t care about his friends, but his actions are neglectful. When Pang teams up with Wave, he tells none of his other friends about what he’s doing. He doesn’t tell Namtaan or Ohm, literally his two closest friends, and convinces himself that he’s doing it to protect them. News flash, he isn’t. He’s trying to be a hero. His ego rapidly increasing might be because of how he was constantly ridiculed when he was in classroom 8, and suddenly he gets this power that makes him “superior” to ordinary people. Another possibility is that his ego was already big, but we he only showed it/applied it when he was trying to take down Director Supot.

Now lets talk about the season 1 finale: Pang becomes aware of his ego through the director foiling his plan and humiliating him. This is a big part of his development as a character. Ofc in season 2 he still has a problem with neglecting and doing things solo, but he become a little more aware, and for 2 whole year’s he’s able to somewhat-effectively lead the gifted gang in their fight against the anti-gifted.

Characteristics and qualities in season two (up until episode 7)

Lets discuss: Ms Darin. aka ms loser. Remember in the beginning of episode 7 where he trusted her cuz of what she said and he noticed her actions (oop remember this trait from before? he’s aware of shit!), but it turned out it was all lies. He eventually got back on track after Third showed him the truth, and was smart enough not to trust Ms. Darin after that. I wanna guess that the reason he started trusting Ms. Darin so easily (other than what she said and did) is because he was in distress from failing Korn and Time. He needed some support, and he wouldn’t let his friends support him because “im a hero blah blah blah i dont wanna worry my friends they dont need to help me with my burdens cuz i can do it on my own :D” season 1 Pang type shit. Ms. Darin was an adult who seemed trustworthy enough, plus Director Supot was gone, and he was the main antagonist in season 1, so isn’t everything only gonna get better now that he’s gone? Plus when Grace said that he sounds like the adults lksdjlkjslfjjsdf THAT HIT ME.

Now I wanna talk about him with Chanon. I’m praying that Chanon is pure and not corrupted because if he is he might’ve used Pang and might do so in the future too... but let’s not focus on that. Pang finally has a mentor-figure in his life that he looks up. Someone to balance out his ego and show him that he can’t do everything on his own. yeah that��s all i have to say about that.

Punn. “You’re done, Pang.” Yeah lets talk about that because holy mcnuggets. Punn knows Pang well enough to know how intensely idealistic and passionate he is. Once the director is gone, Punn is like, bitch u got nothing else to obsess over MOVE ON. He’s basically saying Pang’s existence was so heavily tied with fixing the school system that when eveything’s fixed, he’ll be “done.” It’s similar to Five from the Umbrella Academy, where his whole life was set on fixing the apocalypse that he felt that life had no meaning without an apocalypse to prevent.

Now let’s talk about PangWave... I truly believe that Pang sees Wave as his equal, as his friend, and as a person whom he cares for deeply. His ego and idealism, topped with all the stress he’s going through (by himself), are dangerous towards his relationships. Wave feels used by Pang, and explains how Pang only comes to him when he needs his help, and avoids him when he disagrees with what Pang thinks. Pang is so fixated on his ideals and beliefs that he will do anything to make sure they become a reality. He’s obsessed, and it’s sooooo bad for his relationships with others. It shows that even on Namtaan’s bday, he can only think about “doing the right thing”, because that’s his number 1 priority. PANG JUST GIVE URSELF A BREAK PLEASE TAKE A METAL HEALTH DAY JUST SLKJFLSDKJJD MEDITATE OR SMTH.

I could type for several hours longer but I think this is enough word vomit for this post.

Summary

- VERY IDEALISTIC !!!! TO A FAULT

- He has somewhat of an inflated ego, but uses his ideals and beliefs to cover it up and convince himself that he is a “good person”

- He overworks his brain by never thinking of himself or other people’s emotions and focuses on his idealistic goals and his idealistic goals ONLY.

- He’s very aware of the things’s around him, and is street smart, but he’s not as aware when it comes to other people’s feelings and thoughts.

- He cares for his friends, but his extreme idealism ends up hurting them, and in turn hurting himself and further encouraging him to self-isolate.

- Independent, but this is mostly due to him thinking that he can handle problems on his own and he doesn’t want to get others involved.

- He is becoming more aware of his wrong actions, hence him apologising to Wave about going after Korn without him, but not enough to actually prevent these wrong actions.

- didn’t talk about this much but GUILT!!! I can tell that he feels immense guilt (especially in the latest episodes) whenever one of his friends get hurt and he’s very involved in what got them hurt. However, when it comes to hurting people emotionally, his guilt is tricky to read. At least for me it is lmao. Cuz he doesn’t always fully understand his friends’ feelings because he can’t always admit that he’s done something wrong, but with the recent pangwave fight he definitely felt some type of guilt there. Or maybe it was frustration? idk skjdflajsdfl someone else step in on this one pls

- He needs rest and a mental break. And some therapy maybe? Like please can one caring adult help this poor child.

- His character is actually pretty consistent wow the writing in this show is great.

- a cute boi who needs a hug. Preferably from Wave and/or Ohm.

#the gifted graduation #tgg #tgg spoilers #the gifted #the gifted series #nanon korapat #pangwave #the gifted pang #character analysis #pang character analysis #the gifted character analysis

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