#but everything is just so angsty
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My Year In Review!
I posted 232 times in 2022
188 posts created (81%)
44 posts reblogged (19%)
I tagged 180 of my posts in 2022
Only 22% of my posts had no tags
#prompts - 140 posts
#writing - 133 posts
#whump - 130 posts
#ideas - 128 posts
#angst - 91 posts
#worry - 33 posts
#torture - 24 posts
#whumptober - 21 posts
#whumptober2022 - 21 posts
#kidnapping - 18 posts
Longest Tag: 96 characters
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Whump Prompt #815
“Welp, if you’re all finished bickering. I’m going to collapse now.” And A does just that.
311 notes - Posted January 20, 2022
#4
Whump Prompt #862
I love the image of an emergency evacuation - when the caretakers decide their current location is too unsafe for the whumpee to recover in:
“It’s not safe here, we need to go.”
Hastily packing up A’s meds and other stolen supplies into a backpack.
Coaxing A from their nap and stuffing shoes on their uncooperating feet.
Ensuring A is bundled in the most comfortable clothes that still allow for access to change bandages/inspect the wounds.
Maybe their clothes are the bloodstained ones they were brought to the location in.
“Where’re we goin’?” A slurs, either being carried bridal style, via piggyback or pushed in a wheelchair.
“Shh, just sleep, A, we’ll sort everything out, just focus on resting, alright?”
“You comfy back there, A?” The driver says, giving a tight smile to the rear-view mirror at A, who is leaning heavily on B. A smiles tiredly.
“The fevers worse, we should stop.” B says, feeling the worrying amount of heat radiate from A’s forehead.
“Just a few more miles, I want to make sure we’re far enough.”
312 notes - Posted March 8, 2022
#3
Whump Prompt #813
The caretaker has to have a tight grip on the whumpee sat on the saddle In front of them, as they race to the nearest town in search for a healer. Through the layers of clothing, the caretaker can feel just how feverish the whumpee has gotten, and time is running out to find a cure for their ailment.
331 notes - Posted January 18, 2022
#2
Whump Prompt #902
The burn-out sickness.
A fever of 102
Chills
Hot flashes
Constant, hacking coughs that leave your ribs strained and your back aching.
Joint pains
Headache
High anxiety levels
Fatigue
Insomnia
Lack of appetite
Nausea
Dizziness
Feeling faint whenever you stand
Calling in sick despite the fact your workaholic tendencies are screaming at you not to
Not being able to get comfortable
431 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Whump Prompt #820
“A, you okay?”
“Yeah… just- just tired…”
B has seconds to react before A hits the floor, unconscious.
518 notes - Posted January 25, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#i ran out of end-of-year-post ideas#so this'll do#very interesting#y'all do like a good kidnapping#it has to be said#i do need to get better at tagging#but everything is just so angsty
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Liushen AU where SY transmigrates into SJ's older brother, and subsequently nopes them right out of the slavery backstory by using his general knowledge of the story and actually being an adult in a kid's body to just leave (basically) with SJ and YQ.
SY carts them both up to Cang Qiong for the next sect trials. It's actually not all that hard, the trickiest part is getting enough to eat and finding safe places to sleep between leaving the slavers and taking the trials (SY manages just barely, with considerable help from his new little brothers.) Nobody bothers to go after them because it's before Qiu Jianluo and this style of human traffickers mostly operate by virtue of their merchandise having nowhere else to go. Chasing down runaways is an expense not worth indulging, given that most of them either come straight back or die of exposure.
Anyway, they take the trials, and as expected YQY gets chosen to become a personal disciple for the sect leader, and SJ gets chosen by the Qing Jing Peak Lord, but also as (kind of) expected (by SY alone) nobody wants SY. He's older the Yue Qi, so too old, and unlike YQ and SJ his cultivation potential isn't striking enough to make any exceptions for him.
SY, however, can't leave it at that. He's spent more than five minutes with the street kid codependency gang, so he's gotten attached to both of them. And he knows what will happen if they're left to their own devices and The Plot proceeds accordingly. (Also, they keep threatening to not stay at the sect if SY doesn't stay too, for some reason.) So with a heavy heart and internal candle lit for himself, SY heads to Bai Zhan Peak. Which is the only peak that accepts disciples by way of them turning up and refusing to leave.
SY's not much of a fighter. He actually really hates the atmosphere on BZP, he's not bad at physical cultivation (his health's pretty good in this life, ironic considering how much worse his situation was) but the random ambushes and survival-of-the-fittest stuff is just not his brand. But that's okay, because it turns out that BZP actually DESPERATELY needs disciples on the actual peak who are interested in things other than fighting and cultivating their own strength. Stuff like, filling out requisition requests for An Ding every time things break, apologizing to An Ding every time things break again, organizing schedules, browbeating senior disciples into actually teaching, educating disciples on virtually any artistic or social skill, hosting lectures on how to beat vicious beasts without just overpowering them, and etc.
Okay so some of this stuff isn't and has never actually been on Bai Zhan's curriculum but Shen Yuan is going to make this place tolerable. And stop these children from needlessly getting acid burns or lyme disease or scurvy or whatever. He keeps internally chewing out Airplane for designing a sect system that means there are a lot of largely unsupervised 12-year-olds running around the wilderness on a mountain picking fights all the time. (When he actually meets Shang Qinghua and figures him out he switches to doing it in person, of course, in twice-monthly bitching sessions that look a lot like budding friendship.)
Of course one of the worst offenders is the Liu kid, who SY would suspect was actually raised by wolves if he didn't know for a fact that Liu Qingge has a younger sister, and also the kinds of nice clothing and letters from home that strongly imply not only does he have a family, but that the family is pretty well-off. Liu Qingge is at first deeply offended by SY being a BZP disciple. He rarely fights anyone, and uses tricks and evasion tactics whenever a fight can't be avoided. And he does other annoying stuff, like pestering him about meals and baths and lecturing him on identifying dangerous plants and the early signs of qi deviation. This is not what their peak is about! He should get with the program already! Just fight stuff until you're too tired to keep fighting stuff!
Also SY's younger brother, SJ, is pure evil (at least according to baby Liu Qingge) even though his other younger brother (?) is cool and nice.
Anyway, Liu Qingge stops complaining about SY after their first mission together, where Liu Qingge doesn't lose a fight but does get into a kind of pyrrhic victory situation where he's really badly hurt, and it's SY who helps him win (correctly identifying the monster and then pointing out its weakness) and takes care of him afterwards and gets him safely back to Cang Qiong. SY expresses surprise at LQG actually being polite to him, and LQG realizes that he's been a colossal ass if people think he wouldn't be grateful to someone who saved his life, so the usual Liushen dynamic proceeds from there. Liu Qingge starts bringing SY fans he leaves behind and hunts down animals that are supposed to be useful for bolstering weak cultivation, SY invites LQG to tea and keeps the critters as pets, etc etc.
SY doesn't get the Head Disciple position, because that's only acquired via beating the current peak lord in combat and lol no. Also he's not interested in stealing it from Liu Qingge, to whom it rightfully belongs (in his mind). But that's fine, because Liu Qingge takes the position when the next generation ascends and then he lets SY exclusively handle all the peak duties SY actually likes (mainly teaching). It's perfect -- Liu Qingge gets to focus on his War God antics and occasional administration/meetings without having to deal with students his has no patience for, but the disciples of BZP don't get neglected because SY is actually teaching and organizing classes and student care. BZP hasn't enjoyed a golden age like this since it was founded!
Things are pretty good overall, but Shen Yuan knows that it's only a matter of time before The Plot shows up, and so he can't rest completely easily.
Meanwhile, the will-they-or-won't-they bets on Liushen have been going strong for a while now. The thing is, most of their martial siblings are convinced that these two are already "together", and just being circumspect about it. Those who know SY well (like SJ, YQY, and SQH) know better but think that SY's romantic obtuseness is to blame, whereas those who know LQG well (LMY, WQW, and MQF) are pretty sure that it's actually LQG's obtuseness that's the problem. Of course it's actually both of them, so efforts to "fix" matters by getting through one of their thick skulls inevitably run afoul of the other's.
An additional complication is of course: SJ doesn't like LQG (mutual), and now that he's the leader of his own peak, he wants to poach SY to come and live there. Not only so he can have one of the 2 people he trusts actually close at hand, but also because SJ also hates actually teaching the atrocious little brats on his peak, and would like to have SY come and do it for him. YQY is still a total pushover for him too, and is also now the sect leader, so YQY agrees that SY can change peaks if SY and LQG both agree to it.
Liu Qingge, of course, is a no, but he's a variable "no". He's not going to hold Shen Yuan against his will or anything.
As for Shen Yuan, it's... complicated. He doesn't really like BZP, but it's gotten a lot better than it was at the start. These days he's actually pretty proud of his accomplishments, and it's more comfortable, but it's still a rough and rowdy place with fewer creature comforts, libraries, or other appealing points than QJP. Also, if he goes to Qing Jing to teach, he can personally ensure that SJ doesn't go around persecuting any of his students!
But... SJ never lived with the Qiu family in this AU, and even though SY's not totally clear on what the PIDW backstory for SJ was, he knows he's a better guy now than the scum villain in the book was. He has a reputation for making cutting remarks, not for being an abusive snake or a lecher. SY's honestly less worried about him doing anything bad at all, and there are other people on QJP who can teach. It might even be good for SJ to promote more people to fill out a social circle he can rely on! That guy needs more friends, seriously.
And QJP really doesn't need more layabout literary intellectual types who get into pointless arguments, which is all SY would be if he went there. Just yet another nerdy scholar for the rich kids with middling cultivation that the peak favors to ignore. At least on BZP he's filling a gap.
SY is clearly torn, and the fact that SY's considering it has LQG upset, and LQG doesn't handle being upset very well, so of course they have an argument about it. SY storms off to cool his head and LQG is like, this is it, he's gone to Qing Jing Peak, I've drive him off by being too aggressive and he's probably remembering all those times I told him he didn't belong here and oh no what have I done maybe if I build him a heated bath and get him books he will come back???
Turns out that SY just went to An Ding to vent at SQH while SQH was like "I think you would have fewer problems if you and Liu Qingge just got married and my disciples could call you Shigu to your face instead of behind your back" and SY threw melon seeds at him and sulked on his fainting couch (which is always cold for some reason...)
Thus begins the Liushen Divorce Arc where SY tries to be anywhere but BZP or QJP, Liu Qingge tries to figure out what thing he can punch to fix this not-punchable problem, SJ is like "I don't see what the big deal is they should break up Liu Qingge is awful and I want my brother to teach my classes for me" like the spoiled youngest sibling he's finally allowed to be, YQY is trying to moderate this Hades vs Demeter situation and is all "well maybe SY could spend half the year on QJP and half on BZP?", and Liu Mingyan is going "I know my brother if this doesn't work out he is going to die single and pining like an idiot" and so keeps conscripting other disciples to y'know, lock SY and LQG into storage closets together (ineffective: LQG can punch through walls) or at least get them in the same room (underestimating SY's willingness to yeet himself out of windows to avoid awkward social interactions.)
By the time Luo Binghe joins the sect (as a Qiong Ding disciple), the drama is in full swing and is the main topic of gossip across most of the peaks.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#liushen#long post#sy doesn't even realize lbh has already arrived until someone mentions 'luo-shidi' on qiong ding in passing#he nearly has a heart attack#why isn't this kid on qing jing peak?!#(why would he be on QJP now though? SJ's not gonna want him not even to pathologically torment and he's promising enough for QDP)#SY: well I guess... that settles that? not enough reason to move to QJP if luo binghe isn't even there. everything can stop being weird now#LQG: then we shall have a spring wedding#I like to think the changes to the world are so substantial that the setting just shifts to a less angsty action/adventure story#now the cang qiong crowd are the colorful side characters instead of complicit in lbh's many torments
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the only reason Tim Drake and Damian Wayne don't get along is because if they did the writers wouldn't be able to come up with a plot contrived enough for them to struggle with.
they would be the ultimate team if they could just work smoothly together.
but they cant so balance is restored to the world i guess.
#batfam#batfamily#batman#dc robin#tim drake#damian wayne#tim drake wayne#they would be unstoppable#they would be feared#they would enable each other#the only thing stopping them from taking over the world is the fact that Tim is too lazy to run everything and B would be dissapointed#tim drake is so underrated and deserves to be a menace#damian wayne has so much potential and people write himi off as 'angsty' and a 'brat' so easily#okay he is a bit of a brat but like he is 10#have you ever met a 10 year old?#let alone one brought up in a assassin ninja cult where you kill or be killed#he is growing and getting better leave him alone#its called character development#this is just a bit of fun lmao#tim drake is my favourite damaged genius - sherlock sit down you superpowered mf
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was overcome with the urge to draw "wade tenderly caressing logan's face while he's Feeling Big Angsty Stuff" and then the parallel urge to do a follow-up of "logan kissing wade's hand/holding onto him for dear life"
(anyway hope you like it - I have been looking at this for too long and so of course I hate it now 🫠 art is hard guys lol)
some details below the cut because I am happy with some small aspects - still really enjoying the painting part of doing Wade's scars for example (thanks again @woof-verine for that inspo it is just baked into my psyche now, and also for being a forever enjoyer of pointy ears Logan - sorry couldn't quite get the fangs in this time but they are there trust me!!)
ps. was listening to She Calls Me Back by Noah Kahan for this one. idk it just hits for me in my poolverine-addled state lol
#poolverine#he's just a sad wet angsty little guy (aka 200 year old perfect killing machine)#(sorry wolvie you're not a killing machine really)#(you're just a lil guy who wants nothing more then to kiss your bf's hands while he tenderly caresses your face)#(and tells you everything is going to be okay)#was listening to the song she calls me back by noah kahan a lot last night#idk man the lyrics just hit the poolverine brainrot so good#like???#“lost for a long time/two parallel lines/everything's alright when/she calls me back”#“look at me and dont you lie/I could be your sacrifice” “I do not exist to die/but live to die while saving you”#“does it bite at your edges/do you lie awake restless/why am I so obsessive/hanging on to every sentence”#gah it is so bad you guys#but also so good#anyway hope these make sense#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool#deadclaws#deadpool 3#deadpool x wolverine#poolverine fanart
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losing my mind over this game. watch me make an Actually Dead au
#I JUST. GHOST#i like gjksts#ghosts.#i think it would be funny#like you could definitely take this down an angsty route but#it would be SO funny if it wasnt actually serious#like aw man im dead again. like in the bad timeline#< bearer of the 06 curse (remembers everything)#sth#doodles#sonic the hedgehog#the murder of sonic the hedgehog#tmosth spoilers#the murder of sonic the hedgehog spoilers#do i tag this as character death#tw character death#actually dead au
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studio lan WHAT IS THIS
they just casually drop this on twitter with no context except for "summer begins"
LIKE... WHAT??? WHY ARE THEY IN A FOREST?? IS THIS THEM AS KIDS??? DID CXS AND LG SOMEHOW MEET AS KIDS AND DIDNT REALIZE??? IS THIS SOME POTENTIAL BACKSTORY STUFF FOR LATER???
OR-
OR IS LU GUANG DEAD HERE INSTEAD OF BEING PEACEFULLY ASLEEP??? SO IS THIS NOT JUST A CUTE LITTLE ART THEN??? LIKE IS THIS ACTUALLY LU GUANG'S CORPSE OR AM I JUST INTERPRETING THIS WRONG-
but considering that this is Link Click and also considering the fact that this show does NOT know happiness, what IF???? AUGHH GJSHK OML LET THEM BE HAPPY STUDIO LAN PLS-
*stressful overthinking begins*
#plays overthink by fan ka#im not okay now#pls dont be dead in this art LG ur hubby needs u#i have enough ptsd from this show as it is and studio lan's all like “HERE TAKE SOME MORE!!!”#BUT LIKE#WHAT DOES THIS MEAN#STUDIO LAN EXPLAIN????#PLEASE???#IM SO CONFUSED#WHAT IF THIS IS SMTH REALLY IMPORTANT???#what if this is literally nothing and im just overthinking everything#like imagine this is just some random cute art they felt like making#and i'm over here in tears just thinking of all the angsty possibilities for it#but this is link click we're talking abt...#so#anything can happen#im pretty sure this is smth sad tho#but thats just me#being the angst lover that i am after all#BUT IS THIS SOME KIND OF FORESHADOWING????#I NEED TO KNOW#link click#shiguang daili ren#shiguang dailiren#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi
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Whump that is about change. Whump that is about acceptance. Whump that is about adapting to loss. Whump where there is no rehabilitation, no getting back what’s gone. Sometimes things happen and there is no going back, there is no getting better. Sometimes the person that comes out the other side is different and they will never be the same again. Sometimes you need to grapple with the reality that most people don’t bounce back from traumatic brain injuries, from severe burns, from lost limbs and are their old selves ever again.
Whump that is about change, with no going back, and how the world won’t end because of it.
#whump#whump prompt#angst#disability#beans speaks#sorry for disability posting on whump#seen a few (very good!) prompts lately but they put such focus on…idk the ‘return to normal’#they like the angsty trauma but they don’t like the permenant disabiitiy or impairment.#it kind goes hand in hand w ye old ‘prosthetics don’t magically make you not disabled’ truth#idk. generally with brain damage you can only rehabilitate so much. the friends and family aren’t gonna wake up one day and the mc is Norma#they have to accept and learn the same way the mc has to accept and learn to live with their new limitations or perspective.#yeah permanent disability is tough to write about that’s why I like it in my whump. it’s cathartic for me as someone who’s disabled#you can have your fun fantasy everything got all better eventually stories those are fun sometimes too#but. just don’t forget that most people irl don’t get those miracles.
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the popular take that “sam is possessive/jealous about dean” is so funny to me when canonically all he wants is dean’s trust and approval. not to mention the amount of times he tried to get away from dean. y’all should actually watch the show
#crazy to me how popular this interpretation is in the wincest fandom#like yeah ok let’s just ignore everything sam does/says in relation to wanting normal life away from hunting#and the fact that one of the main reasons he comes back to dean is because of guilt and codependency#it has nothing to do with him being attracted to dean (because he isn’t)#people confuse sam hero worshipping dean with sam having a crush on dean. these things are not the same!#like sorry but canon sam will never be as unhinged/possessive as dean is#and that’s what makes their s*xual dynamic so deliciously angsty#one sided wincest is beautiful and feels right#wincest#samdean#spn
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people can keep coming up with angsty headcanons about why qPac passes out (crashes) so much- like he's got low blood pressure from not eating properly or he's exhausted from not sleeping properly- and I accept that
but to me he's just that one character in a kids movie that keeps getting injured as a gag. like he's just constantly tripping over roots and whacking his head off the ground, birds just constantly seem to drop rocks specifically on his head, people just keep inexplicably slamming doors into his face without realising it. qPac is just such a cartoon character to me I'm sorry
#ah the age old question- character angst or funny gag? tis a tough decision#qsmp#pactw#qsmp pactw#qsmp headcanons#if i can rant a tad bit here for a second - I'm not really huge on angsty headcanons or fan content about qPac I'll be honest#so much of his character and story in canon itself already feels just like.. idk how to explain it. misery porn?#he's sad and traumatised and things just keep going wrong for him#it gets a little tiring after a while#I'm not a huge fan of stories where the entire point is EVERYTHING SUCKS <an insane sentence from a WH40K fan but that's besides the point#anyway point is i like letting qPacs character breathe a bit#there's more to him than being the resident sad boy#and i don't love treating him like his only character trait is being extremely unfortunate cause it's just kinda boring#i don't have any huge moral problems with it it's just kinda boring#pactw tag
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razor dance card is the canon sylus fic with angst & hurt/comfort tags in it
#love and deepspace#sylus#this shit made me cry#im crying tbh#no scratch that#im BAWLING FR#crying so bad#he deserves everything i cant#i just know he internally cried tears of joy when mc ran towards him#AND I JUST KNOW THAT WHEN HE HUGGED MC IT FELT LIKE FUCKING HOME#despite it being angsty#i can proudly say that this is my 2nd fav sylus 4 star card#1st fav is tender curve bc sylus with cats >>>
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The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits
#jjk#ryomen sukuna#gojo Satoru#sukugo#my post#sukugo's date night#Grown ass men beating each other up looking each other in the eyes thinking about love while a cutesy song plays in the background 😍#I saw a tiktok edit of Sukuna annihilating everything with the song “what is love?” by TWICE playing I was like wait a minute THISSS!!!#but with the Sukugo fight!!!!#I have a whole montage in my brain hear me out.... starting from 2:27 minutes in#Wonder where you are?~ I'm gonna find you~ Wonder where you are?~ I'm so dying to see you~ I can't take it much longer~#👆🏻these lyrics with that scene of Sukuna waiting for gojo on the rooftop before their fight...hmmm yes yandere vibes yes#How it could be as sweet as candy~ How it's like flying in the sky~#👆🏻These with Sukuna and gojo clashing in the sky over kenjaku#this part of the song is the slowest so a slow motion scene of them in the sky would look beautifulagghj#I wanna know know know know~ what is love?~ What love feels like~#👆🏻 these with Sukuna giving Satoru that look💀 and thinking about yorozu's words after Satoru chose their date to be on 24th..#How it keeps you smiling all day~#👆🏻 this one is obvious there are too many instances of them freakishly smiling during the fight that it's hard to choose lmao#How the whole world turns beautiful~#👆🏻cut to Sukuna saying he cleared his skies...yeah...#I wanna know know know know what is love?~ Will love come to me someday?~#👆🏻 and maybe if we're getting angsty with this... that scene of the last time “the one who will teach you about love” was brought up#in the airport where we see Sukuna from behind and Satoru says it was fun asdhjkkll#Then the song just continues with I wanna know~ I wanna know~ for 30 seconds until it ends#👆🏻 And here comes a compilation of Sukuna missing gojo and standing there looking bored and we have Yuji black flashing his heart#and sukuna looks behind him and has heart eyes for larue but it fades to him looking at yutagojo thinking it's gojo#because these two scenes are SIMILAR for some reason and then yuta failing at being gojo and sukuna copying gojo's hand sign and-#Do yall see what I mean this is their theme song fr The song being cutesy and upbeat is what makes this for me#Sukuna is living his first teenage girl experience Yall don't understand I need this so baddd I'm gonna learn how to edit and do it myself
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purelily is the epitome of “he loves her more than she will ever love him”
#THERES DEBATE ON PURELILY BEING ONESIDED#but imo it’s just pure vanilla loves and misses her so much more#than she loves and misses him#bc to white lily cookie her love for cookie land and truth#will forever be held above her love for him#ITS SO#you were a wonderful experience#you were everything#CODED#IM GONNA DIEEEE I LOVE THEM#BUT THEYRE SO ANGSTY#GIRL WOKE UP AND WALKED PAST HIM#AND WENT TO ELDER FAIRY COOKIE#pure vanilla cookie#white lily cookie#purelily#cookie run kingdom
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Very assorted - and probably disorganized - thoughts on Akutagawa's immediate reaction on the night Dazai left the pm, since it's taken a pretty delineate shape in my mind for some time now.
I didn't use to have many strong opinions on how Akutagawa acted when Dazai left (although “unknown” uses as a concept of its own. Akutagawa disappearing, and no one knows where he was or what he did– until he comes back, but as a different man). That is up until recently, when I found this fic that described Chuuya storming to Akutagawa's place and all but threatening him to come to work the day after, and for all the days to come– and thus, urged him not kill himself. And I didn't think much about it initially, yet the scene slowly, unconsciously got ingrained in the bsd canon I have in my mind. And although one could fairly think Chuuya was spiraling in his own depressive episode that night, I feel like it's feasible to believe he'd still look out for Akutagawa. Not because Chuuya cared about Akutagawa in particular (at that point of the story, I genuinely think he didn't experience any strong feeling of any kind for Akutagawa, much less had a general good impression of him), but simply because that's what Chuuya does: he looks out for his own. He's perceptive enough to grasp that Akutagawa was but a kid at serious risk in that moment, and he's compassionate enough to go out of his way to help him, even though they barely knew each other, even though Chuuya himself was hurting like crazy that night (and perhaps even because that's simply what he does to cope with great distress and impending grief: keeps himself busy, tries to think of others before himself).
And there was, indeed, a very real chance Akutagawa was going to kill himself that night. Maybe he wouldn't, for Gin; but I'm not even sure. Dazai was the man who told Akutagawa he would have found a reason to live in the mafia, and now he's gone, the man who himself had seemingly become his reason to live; what's left for him in life anymore, what's the point of going on?– is probably what he must have wondered.
In my mind, the Akutagawas only have had two houses since they joined the pm. The first one was a small but comfortable, nice apartment that was assigned to them by the pm right after they joined, their first proper house. The second, a bigger, more comfortable penthouse, they had to move in after Ryuunosuke completely destroyed their first one on the night Dazai left– caught up in that kind of uncontrollable rage that only comes from inhuman pain. That night, Ryuunosuke got home blind and out of reason. He asked Gin to go away, and when she refused to, he pushed her out of the house with his ability, despite having always refrained from touching her with it, despite having always paid careful attention to never use his ability near or on her. And as soon as she was out of range he started destroying everything with and without his ability, until he could see nothing but red, everywhere. And once he destroyed everything, once the only thing left to destroy was himself, he cowered in a dark angle and howled, covered in blood, unable to speak, hideous and inhuman, nothing but a rabid dog. And his scream echoed the one he released the night he met Dazai for the first time; and if that day he had experienced his first emotion, now he was feeling a second new, deeply painful one. Maybe that's when Chuuya had come in, and told him he was not allowed to kill himself; maybe Gin had called Hirotsu, and Hirotsu had called Chuuya, and Chuuya stormed in, and ordered him to come to work tomorrow. Because Chuuya is smart; because he knows that orders are something familiar for Akutagawa, something that can help ground him; because he knows Dazai is not worth killing oneself over. And Akutagawa didn't kill himself that night, and he kept hurting for a long time, but eh. Eventually, he'll be okay.
#Wow I didn't mean to make it so dark. But I guess it's just what you get when you talk about the day Dazai left the pm#I want to say I overdid it but like. Dazai really was everything for Akutagawa.#I kinda wish the author would write a short story on it à la Heartless Cur#ryūnosuke akutagawa#osamu dazai#chūya nakahara#chuuaku#Just platonic though. Again in my mind they barely knew each other at this point.#gin akutagawa#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd headcanons#long post#mine#q.#08/07/23#Making posts only to post them in eight months can be such a curse.#I just wrote a very angsty Akutagawa post and I really didn't know how to end it so I wrote#“And Akutagawa didn't kill himself that night‚ and he kept hurting for a long time‚ but he'll be okay eventually”#and by the time it's posted it will have aged either very well or very very wrong#Edit: Didn't age at all LMAO we still don't how he'll end up
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*baps @shamedump * it's the blood twins and yer littol oc Vermillion!
And for anyone interested in TSAMS and oc branch-offs, please check out their fic Vermillion! It's really cute and a nicer look on how the bloodmoon twins could have had their view changed! More doodles for this fic are absolutely incoming(and hopefully will get digitally colored lol) as I've got a bunch of little scenes I wanna draw out for little Millie and the fam they've made!!
I can't wait to see what happens next, as I have some theories on how things might play out and I'm eager to see how it all plays out!!
#luka draws#the sun and moon show#tsams au#tsams#i just wanna hug millie and the twins.#but also i can absolutely see them having exensive conversations about silly things taken seriously by them#and Penumbra having absolutely no clue what the ever loving fuck theyre going on about-but if it isnt hurting anyone why bother them lol#kc and flare are great dads(?) and seeing them essentially adopt everybody as their kids is so silly n sweet#i just. i love this concept and everything about it.#on an angsty note- i wonder if ruin will ever get to the point of temporarily spiriting away solar- and if at that point-#-what are the chances that Millie falls under that fire line too?#ive seen some takes where solar is saved in time but sustained damage- or that its much easily to reverse because magics involved but#id say dont let canon hold u back too much. its your story now >:)#we're not gonna talk abt my sporadic presence here okay tsams has me in a hyperfixation chokehold
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APWH preview snippet!
Since I'm actively trying to work on getting the next few chapters out, I thought I'd share a little future scene with some hints of Jonsa with all you lovely people! This bit is from like, a few chapters in the future bc it's the in-between that's giving me fits right now :) (Fair warning: this is unedited and subject to change! That being said, it's such a fun scene that I can't imagine ever nixing it :D)
“Does he even know that they have to avoid the press?”
“For the last time-“ Sam sighed, sounding completely exasperated, “Dickon knows what they can and can’t do- he’s got enough practice not being photographed from when our dad was the secretary. Not to mention spending time around you when that exposé on your crazy grandfather came out two years ago.”
“I just-“ Jon sighed, blowing a stray curl out of his face. “You didn’t see how freaked out she was when the press caught us at that performance in White Harbor. I thought she was going to have a full-blown panic attack.”
He was immediately derailed by Gilly plopping little Sam down in his lap and shoving a bottle into his hands.
“What’s this all about?” he raised a brow, adjusting the baby on his lap, allowing him to latch onto the cuff of his flannel shirt and start gnawing at the fabric. “You going somewhere?”
Gilly shot him a withering look, but he saw the amusement in her eyes.
“I-“ she gestured, imperiously, “Have not had time by myself to shower all week-“
“Sorry, love.” Sam winced, looking up from his pile of paperwork. “I can take a break from these-“
“Not your fault, Sam.” she waved him off. “You warned me about this conference at the beginning of the summer.” a grin played at the corners of her mouth. “Besides, it works out well- Jon needs a distraction right now from the fact that Sansa’s on a date with your extremely hot and conventionally attractive brother.”
“Hey!” Sam looked wounded, and Gilly rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“You know you’re my favorite Tarly.” she wrinkled her nose. “How long have you been working on this presentation? You smell like the baby spit up on you.”
“Guess I’m next in line for showers.” Sam said, mournfully. “Unless-“
“Nope- I need my own time right now, Samwell. Did you even hear what I said about why Jon’s bent out of shape?”
Jon had known Gilly since Sam and she had met up north while the two of them were in college. Sometimes, it was hard to reconcile the timid, scared girl she had been with the woman who was currently devoting all of her remaining energy to busting his balls.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried about Sansa with my brother.” Sam snorted, shotgunning another cup of coffee next to him the way Jon was used to seeing undergrads do with jaeger shots. “I mean, this is Dickon we’re talking about. Used to bring wounded animals home to take care of them Dickon? The same guy who cried when we had movie night and Gilly and Rhae wanted to go see ‘Love, Simon’?” He shook his head. “Look, as far as guys she could be out on a date with right now go, Dickon’s kind of the best case scenario. She’ll have a nice time, and he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
Jon blinked at him, silently turning to look up at Gilly, who rolled her eyes and sighed.
“You’re hopeless, sweetie.” she kissed him on the forehead again, wrinkling her nose. “He’s not worried that things will go wrong- he’s worried they’ll go a little too well.”
“You’ve been spending way too much time around my sister.” Jon muttered, narrowly avoiding little Sam’s grasping reach for his glasses, managing to get the baby to latch onto the bottle before he destroyed any more of Jon’s eyewear. “You even sounded like her just then.”
Sam blinked for a second, his head whipping between Jon and Gilly.“You’re jealous?” He asked, incredulously. “Of Dickon? Wait- you like Sansa?”
“Got there in the end.” Gilly sighed, affectionately patting him on the shoulder before going to shower, leaving Jon and Sam behind with four cups of coffee, one baby, and approximately five brain cells total between the two of them.
“You like her.” Sam repeated, like it was a giant revelation.
“What are we- in middle school?” Jon hissed, immediately turning his head down to smile and make faces at little Sam while he fed him, before glaring up at big Sam again. “I don’t- I mean-“
Sam was just shaking his head.“Of course you do.” he laughed. “Should have guessed- red hair and a damsel in distress? You were doomed from the outset.”
“Shut up.” Jon muttered, flushing. “It’s not like that.”
“Then why are you worrying about Dickon for fu-“ Sam glanced nervously at the baby, “-god’s sake? When Gill was meeting my family for the first time, I remember you told her not to worry- that my brother was ‘one of the best guys you know’ and ‘practically a golden retriever’.”
Jon could tell that Sam, who could not raise one eyebrow without the other, was desperately trying to do just that.
“I don’t know.” He muttered, moving little Sam to his shoulder to start burping him. “Look- I’m attracted to her, alright? It’s a fu- er, a giant disaster that I’m gonna ignore for the rest of my life.”
“Seriously?”
“Stop trying to do that with your eyebrows.” Jon complained. “It’s giving me motion sickness. And yes, seriously. I’m not even going to consider that- it’s just a stupid crush. Besides,” he sighed, rubbing little Sam’s back comfortingly, “Robb’s already dealing with enough right now with this whole Sansa situation- can’t imagine telling him I think his sister’s attractive while he’s being forced to suddenly confront all of his guilt and self loathing every time he looks at her.”
“That whole bro code thing of never dating your friend’s sisters never really made sense to me.” Sam shook his head, gulping down more coffee. “I mean, I’d be thrilled if you decided to date Talla, because I know you’d be good to her.”
“Yeah, don't think she'd quite go for that, mate.” Jon snorted, standing to bounce little Sam around gently. He was just grateful Sam hadn’t said anything else about Robb.
“Eh, wouldn’t count you out completely.” Sam shrugged, smirking. “With that hair, you’re pretty enough to be a girl- maybe that’d be enough for her.”
“You are so lucky i’m holding the baby.” Jon muttered, still bouncing little Sam, who picked that moment to spit up spectacularly down Jon’s back.
“Well, that’s three of us who’re gonna need showers now.” Sam grinned, looking thrilled as all get out that it hadn’t been him. “Wow- his aim is getting better.”
“I’m going to remind him of this when he’s a sulky teenager.” Jon grumbled, wiping spit-up off his shoulder as best he could. “Look- no gossiping with Rhae about this, please. She thinks she’s such a good clandestine agent that she doesn’t always realize that Robb is better at sniffing out her plots than she thinks.”
“Alright-“ Sam sighed, looking back down at the massive stack of paperwork in front of him. “I make no promises for Gill, though.”
“Gilly could give some of my Uncle’s colleagues at the WIA a run for their money when it comes to withstanding interrogation.” Jon snorted.
“Probably true.”
“Where did your brother take Sansa?” Still holding onto a now much happier baby with one hand, he reached down the other to take a gulp of his own coffee.
“He said something about going out towards the Tyrell Estate.” Sam shrugged. “They probably drove out there to see the gardens- he’s said it’s a good road to take his bike out on.”
Jon promptly spat out his entire sip of coffee, staining the front of his shirt as well as the back, and frightening little Sam enough that he started to cry.
“He took her on his motorcycle?”
Gilly picked that moment to reappear, completely clean and with wet hair, blinking at the scene in front of her.
Sam, who couldn’t seem to stop laughing, was desperately trying to calm down the baby, who had started wailing, while Jon’s entire front was covered in coffee and his entire back was covered in baby vomit. Not that he seemed to notice, as his face was white and he was making a series of angry looking hand gestures at her husband.
“I really can’t leave you three alone for five minutes, can I?” she sighed. “Do I even want to know?”
#my writing#my wips#writing wips#just APWH things#jonsa#fanfiction wip#God bless Gilly like for real#YES Sansa is on a date with someone else here#muscleman golden retriever McAttractiveness#Aka dickon tarly#unsurprisingly jon is not having a great time about it!#in fairness to sansa the plotline directly preceding this and kicking off her doing some traveling was pretty rough on her#so our poor girl really deserves a giant muscley golden retriever with a motorcycle#and to just have a good time with someone who isn't wrapped up in all the stark drama/disaster/mess etc.#jon can deal with it rn bc it's really a 'you snooze you lose' kind of situation#sam's usually quicker on the draw but he's very sleep deprived here#and working on some stuff for a pathology conference#not at all going to be relevant nope no sir#writing sam and jon interacting vs jon and robb is so fascinating#they're both jon's besties but there's a very different dynamic to the two relationships#in fairness Robb has like SO much complex childhood trauma and is kind of seriously going through it right now#but his scenes with jon always have this sort of darker edge to them#like an 'i've known you my entire life and know everything about you for better or worse' type deal- deeper but darker#it's more akin to a sibling relationship? but also not? they are both going thru it#my headcanon is that anytime jon starts getting too gloomy and angsty gilly just straight up shoves the baby at him#and then waits like twenty minutes#Gilly: 'it's free babysitting!'#generally it works pretty well#jon's like '404 error does not compute' as soon as sam says the word 'motorcycle'#also when sam says 'the secretary' he means randyll tarly was the secretary of defense
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So uh. MelDan ammirite? This (kinda) blew up on Insta and other socmed I use so ig I'mma upload this here too lol
It started as a crackship (and it's still is, I kinda like to jokingly them imagine them pretending to like each other but actually wanting to skin each other alive, a little ooc for both of them, but it's mostly just for fun) but rn I'm exploring the potential ""relationship"" through a more angsty lense.
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#hpma oc#hpma daniel#my art#magic awakened#daniel page#melly anderson#melly anscombe#OK SO#I think that there's many different ways these two could “work”#I could go with a safe route aka transfem!Daniel x Melly all cute and sweet#OOOOR I could make it angsty and potentially one sided#my current idea? Daniel knows Mel is a metamorphmagus and wants her to tell him who she really is#but Mel ofc doesn't really want that for many reasons#she doesn't feel comfortable sharing who she really is bc she doesn't want people to know the real her in general#if she tells Dan he'd pry more and he'd discover WHY she's pretending to be Melly and that's a no no#this frustrates Daniel to no end he's not even sure if Mel even likes him back sometimes#Mel feels bad for deceiving Daniel snd wants to be honest w him but she can't#although I do have somewhat of an idea why Mel would get involved w him like this I'm still trying to figure it out#(she's probably having a comphet phase + she feels lonely af and needs a distraction from everything + to move on from Melissa and Cass)#and maybe also Ivy? she avoids her several reasons despite feeling heartbroken to do so#real question is tho what does Dan even see in her lol#that's def smth I gotta think about lol#but yeah. it's not canon to any of my current universes it's just for some mindless fun
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