#but everyone's like 'bobby's right!' because he is actually quite observant and smart

[smile-files]

the murder mystery i'm reading has a character whom i can instantly clock as autistic. yay! i have no reason to think he'll be the murderer but i'll be very angry if he is

[screwitanddoitanyway]

dont believe everything you hear

Guess who's actually wrote a fanfic for the first time in years!

Based on this tumblr post I wrote a few weeks ago:

Also on AO3

Ravi is not an idiot.

He doesn’t feel the need to point that out often, he’s usually quite content in his level of intelligence. So maybe he isn’t the kind of smart that his best friend Taimur is. Tai is in medical school with dreams of being an oncologist and hopes to one day help kids like the two of them. Because that’s what you do when you’re a kid with cancer, you spend your weekends getting chemo and dreaming of being the one to cure cancer one day. But Ravi was never going to be a doctor, he knew that much. He always liked the idea of being a superhero, but a firefighter fit him well too.

So Ravi was not an idiot. He had a four year degree from UCLA and had made it through the fire academy. He was observant and had a good memory and spoke three languages for god’s sake. 

Yet somehow he had missed that his co-workers had in fact not gone through a divorce and shared custody of their son. IN FACT they had never been married or even been together in the first place.

In some ways he felt Buck and Eddie were to blame for this. Because really, they had to be. 

But in fact, it probably started with Lena Bosko.

Ravi liked being at the 118. He was getting on well with the rest of B shift and already learning a lot. And sometimes when his shift ran a little long, he would cross over with A shift in the dressing room. Everyone on A shift was smoking hot and stupidly competent at their jobs. Ravi had spent the day after one of his first shifts at the house google stalking and finding all the old news coverage of the team. 

Also B shift loved to gossip. So he learned very quickly that not only were A shift good at their jobs, there was also always drama following them around. But Hen always had a smile for him and Bobby would always save him some food. However he was glad to be on B shift, as the A shift all together just seemed overwhelming, and Ravi wasn’t sure how we would handle all of that.

He’s only been at the house a few weeks when he’s on shift and there is a call for a pretty big warehouse fire. A few different houses are called in and he manages to find the balance between helpful probie and learning how to deal with a big disaster from the more seasoned firefighters. 

They get the fire under control and he’s helping pack up hoses when a voice calls from behind him.

“Hey you’re with the 118!” A woman strides up to him, having seen the truck he’s next to. It’s both a statement and a question.

Ravi nods unsure how to reply, but it doesn’t matter as she carries on talking as she stops in front of him.

“How’s the Diaz and Buckley divorce going?” She asks, a small smirk on her face.

“The…w-what?” Ravi can’t help but stutter. He knows who she’s talking about. The guys on A shift are basically infamous and connected at the hip. And he has to admit he saw Firefighter Buckley working out in the gym area when he was getting ready to leave the house once, and almost walked into a wall. Ravi is only human.

“Last time I saw those two they were arguing in a grocery store about their kid” She rolls her eyes, a fond smile playing at her lips, “Those two are so much drama.”

“Well, I'm pretty new, but from what I can tell they seem to be working well together”. He shrugs. All he’s observed so far from Buckley and Diaz is that they go everywhere together, can communicate just by looking at each other, and are both ridiculously good looking. 

“Good luck navigating that” She reaches out and slaps him on the shoulder, “Better you dealing with them than me.” She smiles again and walks away. Ravi spots the name Bosko on the back of her turnout before he shakes himself and gets back to packing away. It’s been a long shift and he does not have time to process this new information right now.

It’s not long after that night that he gets moved up to A shift to help make up numbers. And learns that everything the B shift used to gossip about and what Bosko told him, suddenly makes so much more sense. Because A shift, and Eddie and Buck in particular, are So. Much. Drama.

—--------

“PROBIE!” 

Ravi drops all the books he’s holding. Partly from the fear of someone shouting at him. Partly from the fact that having a 6ft blonde hunk shouting at him is making him react in ways he doesn’t need the general public to see.

Since the revelation Bosko bestowed on him, he can’t help but monitor A shift closely now. Letting himself get dragged into gossip with the others on B and C shift. Trying to figure out what exactly made Buck and Eddie get divorced, since they still seem so close.

Is it all a front for their kid? Or to keep peace at work? When they leave do they turn into the spiteful divorced parents he’s seen on TV? He’s never even seen them so much as glare at each other.

But what he does see is interesting.

He accidentally jinxes the A shift, so now he’s firehouse enemy number 1 and there is a good chance Beautiful Buckley is going to strangle him, and not in a fun way.

He overhears that Eddie is going on a date with some teacher and watches as Buck goes quiet for the next few days.

Then that stupid treasure hunt, which he actually nails thank you very much. But then Taylor Kelly is always around, and Eddie glares whenever her name is mentioned and looks like he wants to shove a fork into his eye whenever she gets brought up in conversation.

But nothing could have prepared him, or anyone really, for when Eddie gets shot in front of Buck. Buck instantly spirals and it’s clear to see the man is suffering. He is in agony waiting for news of his ex husband and having to care for his son. 

Luckily Eddie makes a full recovery, and even Ravi can tell something is different between the two of them when Eddie returns. Something softer and connected. More dependent on each other than ever, whatever weird mind meld they had is stronger than before.

And then he gets a front row seat to all the drama as he’s moved up to A shift to help out.

There’s a heat wave and a black out all culminating in the shock of meeting Ana. Ravi is in such a state that he accidentally calls her Eddie’s wife and Eddie looks like his head is about to explode, Buck looks confused and Ravi wants the earth to swallow him whole. For a brief moment he wonders if there was any infidelity that led to the Buckley-Diaz divorce, but he doubts it would be this civil if there was.

Then Buck gets a stick up his ass, and decides to focus all his energy on Ravi. And Ravi doesnt know whether to enjoy being that kind of focus or to ask if he’s fighting with Eddie again. Buck makes the announcement he’s going to leave, but it’s swiftly shut down by the others. 

When Eddie looks over at Buck and says “You’re stuck with us”. Ravi has to stop himself from swooning.

Which is why it’s such a shock that a few months later, Eddie is the one that’s leaving. Ravi is both surprised, and not. He has watched as Eddie seemed to turn in on himself, spending more of his shifts thinking and doodling in a notebook than hanging out with Buck. Buck is clearly devastated which means he had no prior warning. But clearly understands the need to put their sons' worries at ease. Ravi wonders if Buck is going to spend less time at work now too. Or if this is just linked to Eddie’s shooting last year. 

If anything Buck now spends all of his time at work, and he is grumpier than ever.

Ravi dares to ask once how Eddie is doing and is met with a brief grunt of “He’s fine”.

Well, guess Mom and Dad are fighting again.

—--

Lucy Donato is new to the 118 but she is not new to firefighting. She’s calm under pressure, quick on her feet and just an all around badass. Ravi wants to be best friends with her.

Buck is civil but far from his usual friendly self, probably too caught up in Lucy being the one to replace Eddie. But Ravi knows he will warm to her soon enough, Buck can’t help himself.

Ravi has yet to figure out how to become best friends with Lucy, and wants to nab her before she gets sucked into the weird codependency that is A shift. He gets his chance when she is falling next to him on the couch during down time between calls;

“So what’s the deal with Buckley?”

And honestly the firehouse has turned him into a gossip because he can barely inhale a breath before he starts.

“Dude I am honestly still trying to figure it out myself, but when I got here he was basically going through a divorce with his ex husband who also worked here, who left and is also the firefighter you’re replacing”

Lucy blinks at him for a second before getting a small smile on her face and leans closer like they are sharing secrets, which they totally are.

“Oh. My. God. That actually makes so much sense,” Ravi beams back at her, new best friend secured. “No wonder he barely talks to me, I thought it was because I was a woman, but he gets on so well with Hen. But to have his ex husband gone from both his personal and professional life, that’s brutal”

Ravi nodded along, see Lucy got it!

“Wait” She paused, sitting up to look around to make sure no one else was listening. “Didn’t  I hear something about that other guy leaving to take care of his kid?”

Ravi nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes! See Eddie got shot last year, right in front of Buck, and I mean like Eddie’s blood all over Buck kind of in front of him. And Eddie healed and he’s fine, but I guess their son Chris was more upset about it than they thought, and was really worried about Eddie dying and not coming home one day. So Eddie decided he was going to leave and try something else for a while to help put Chris’s mind at ease”

“Woah, those guys have so much going on, now I feel bad for just thinking Buck was a dick.”

“Nah Buck can be a dick don’t worry, but yeah I wouldn’t hold it against him, he’s got a lot to deal with right now, he’ll come around though, he always does”

Lucy smiles at him just as Hen comes to sit in the chairs next to them.

“Hey what are you guys gossiping about”

“Just filling Lucy in on the Buck and Eddie drama”

“Ooooh, that could take a while, but give her a chance to meet Eddie at least once so she can form her own opinion of him” Hen smiles cheekily.

“Wait, one thing I don’t get, why did they get divorced?” Lucy asks, turning to Ravi.

Hen makes a sound from next to them but they are looking at each other.

“See that’s what I can’t figure out because they are clearly still in love with each other, so I have no idea, they can both be pretty stubborn though”. Ravi shrugs as Hen makes a choking sound causing them both to look at her.

“Do you know Hen?” Lucy asks.

Hen just smiles at them, a gleam in her eyes. “I don’t think any of us know the answer to that one.”

—-----

A few months later, Eddie is back and Lucy is still with them and Ravi is starting to feel confident about his place as a firefighter and at the 118.

It’s a big training day, which means several houses have converged at the 118 to undergo lectures and training exercises together. When Ravi notices the 126 are there and Lena Bosko herself seeks him out.

“Congrats on finishing probation Panikkar.'' She smiles, giving him a rough pat on the back. It’s only his anticipation of it that stops him from stumbling under the force of it. 

“Thanks Bosko,” He turns to Lucy beside him and introduces them. “This is Lucy Donato, she’s been with the 118 a few months, not sure if you’ve met”

The ladies shake hands and seem to give each other the nod of approval. 

“Hey Lena, maybe you know, why did Buck and Eddie get divorced?” He asks as Lucy scoots closer wanting the info too. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Hen and Chimney making their way towards them.

“What?” Lena asks, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

“You’re the one who asked how their divorce was going the first time we met, do you know why they split up?” He asks as the the others join them and he can see Lucy shuffling closer over his shoulder waiting for Lena’s answer.

“Ravi, I was joking” Lena looks at him like he’s grown a second head.

“WHAT!?!?” He and Lucy blurt in unison.

“I just meant it like, the last time I saw them they were bickering like a married couple” Lena shrugs, a smile playing at her lips.

“But it made so much sense!” Ravi drops his head into his hands, going over every interaction he’s had with Buck and Eddie.

Hen and Chim  are laughing so hard they’re falling onto each other.

“You could have corrected us, ya know!” He points an accusing finger at the two of them.

“But this is so much funnier” Chimney smiles, popping his gum as he regains composure, Hen wiping a finger under her eyes.

“Wait, if they’re not divorced, you know what this means” Lucy asks the group.

“That maybe my sister was right and I am an idiot” Ravi mutters.

“No it means we can get them together” Lucy smirks, and Ravi loves their friendship.

“Ooooooh I like that” He has to restrain himself from clapping like a happy child.

“Get who together?” Eddie asks just as he and Buck join their impromptu circle.

“You two” Lena points between the two of them causing Eddie and Buck to look at each other and blush.

“What?”

“Lena accidentally told Ravi you two were divorced and Ravi told Lucy and they’ve been trying to figure out why you split up” Hen fills them in.

“It just made so much sense when Lena said it, and nothing you two have done has made me think otherwise!” Ravi throws his hands in the air, maybe he’s getting a little hysterical, his world is upside down thank you very much.

“To be fair I probably would have believed it too before I knew them properly. You should have seen their argument in the grocery store. Eddie was all ‘you’re a deadbeat baby daddy’ and Buck was all ‘I want joint custody’, it was so dramatic.” Lena rolled her eyes.

“That’s not really what-” Eddie starts.

“YES! Thank you, like when the treasure hunt was everywhere and Eddie wanted to be on Buck’s team but Buck was with Taylor but then Eddie pouted until Buck said ok!” 

“How do you-”

“What about last week when they were cuddling on the sofa facetiming their son and reading him bedtime stories.” Lucy chimed in. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Huh, maybe you guys got married and divorced without even noticing.” Chimney strokes his chin in thought.

“Guys you’re being ridiculous, Eddie and I aren’t…” Buck looks at Eddie and sees him looking back, “We’re not-, It’s…”

“Dude” Eddie nudges him gently, “We’re a little married” And beams when Buck huffs and laughs, rolling his eyes.

“And i’d never divorce you” Eddie smiles as Buck’s eyes go all soft. Then Eddie winks and walks off, Buck quickly following him like he always does.

“Eddie come back, you can’t just say stuff like that”

The rest of them watch them as they weave in between other firefighters. Before looking at each other and;

“Oooooooooh” In synch. 

Ravi is not an idiot. But he knows when he sees two idiots in love. 

[doomonfilm]

Review : The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)

From a very young age, the Vietnam war, and all of the events generated from its fallout, has been a major point of interest.  So much of the modern-day American cultural landscape was shaped from the friction caused between the 1950′s old-fashioned mindset and the vast array of counter-cultural voices looking for a chance at equal footing within the American diaspora.  A key flash point in these turbulent times was the Chicago Democratic Convention of 1968, where the figureheads of Richard Nixon for the Right and Hubert Humphrey from the Left presented such a bleak outlook for America at large that many groups of disenfranchised voices felt on the ground protesting and direct action was needed.  The ensuing trial read like America versus a who’s who of the aforementioned counter-cultural voices, dubbed the Chicago 7 despite an initial attempt to try 8 individuals, and with 2020 being quite the politically turbulent time in its own right, it felt an appropriate atmosphere for Aaron Sorkin to create and release The Trial of the Chicago 7. 

With the Vietnam war ramping up, an increase in the drafting of American soldiers, and a looming Presidential election that seemingly did not serve the interest of the American public at large, a key group of individuals leading and representing several different factions of the counter-culture made plans to attend the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention with the intent to make their voices heard by America in particular, and the world at large.  A year removed from the protests and ensuing riots in Chicago, Judge Julius Hoffman (Frank Langella) prepares to hear State Attorneys Richard Schulz (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Tom Foran (J.C. MacKenzie) try their case against Bobby Seale (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) and the group of defendants who would later come to be known as the Chicago 7 : Abbie Hoffman (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Jerry Rubin (Jeremy Strong) of the Yippie movement, Tom Hayden (Eddie Edmayne) of the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS), David Dellenger (John Carroll Lynch) and Rennie Davis (Alex Sharp) of the National Mobilization Committee to End the War in Vietnam (MOBE), and SDS members Lee Weiner (Noah Robbins) and Daniel Flaherty (John Friones).  The group, who are defended by Attorneys William Kunstler (Mark Rylance) and Leonard Weinglass (Ben Shenkman), find themselves facing travesty after travesty of justice, not to mention numerous outside influence, in their quest to expose the hypocrisy of the political trial they are facing.

While the storytelling found in The Trial of the Chicago 7 is vibrant and efficient in its balance of education and entertainment, it is best ingested outside the context of other Aaron Sorkin work.  This, however, is not a negative or a meant to be a slight on the film… in my opinion, the gravity of the story he is telling, and the fact that it is not only completely true, but relatively recent history, inherently yields Sorkin from applying the trademark snark that provides the snap found in his mastery of dialogue.  That being said, this film (and the spirit in which it was created) would serve as an outstanding entry point for anyone interested in 1960s counter-culture, political unrest and protests against the Vietnam war in general, and the Yippie Party, the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) and the Black Panther Party specifically.  The foundation on which revolution is based helps ground the film, but not at the expense of weighing down entertainment.

At the risk of sounding contradictory, for all of the importance of the Chicago Democratic Convention that makes it a bit more serious than something I’d like Aaron Sorkin to handle, the trial portion of the film is actually perfectly suited for him to handle.  The dialogue may not necessarily be in the complete spirit of his trademark banter, but his panache for balance shines through in his direction of the actors with the material.  Lots of ideas are moving in concert at any given time, and each gets a moment in the spotlight without causing detriment to the others, which is very similar to the nature of the seven different real life defendants.  The behavior exhibited in the courtroom is quite often shocking, with the lion’s share of the shock originating from the judicial side of things.  In many ways, a generation was being put on trial at the time, and Sorkin clearly knows this, but he is also smart enough to know that the generation supposedly ‘on trial’ was not one harmonious voice.  Even a viewer like me, who is coming to the table with an affinity for the Black Panthers and the Yippies specifically, can respect the portrayal and stance of Tom Hayden simply because he, like everyone else in the film, is given an equal voice and a chance to humanize their side of the struggle.

Eddie Redmayne serves as the audience surrogate, with his nervous tension and sense of danger demanding attention, regardless of whom he shares the frame with… his performance is one of the more powerful I’ve seen that did not rely on dialogue, which is rare for an Aaron Sorkin affair.  Sacha Baron Cohen is allowed to do a refined and precise version of his very intelligent comedy, all while paying ode to a man that likely inspired him in turn.  His energy plays off of the aggressive awareness of Jeremy Strong, whose assured weight behind his words matches the sense of pride in the side his character has chosen.  Alex Sharp encapsulates the quiet revolutionary, with a measured release of clearly heightened awareness that is shielded by his resolve.  John Carroll Lynch takes the observational approach, choosing his words wisely and making sure that their impact is felt.  Noah Robbins and Daniel Flaherty bring supporting presence to the original seven, often espousing dressed up exposition like a tour guide for the viewer.  Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is a lightning rod of emotionally charged intelligence wielded in the hopes of freedom, with every bit of the sense of urgency that entails popping off the screen.

Mark Rylance uses a sly and cunning propped up with the confidence that experience brings, as well as the frustration that comes when one is forced to confront the absence of logic.  Ben Shenkman brings a youthful sharpness and exuberance that matches the energy of the so-called radicals that he is defending.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt makes the most of placing a good-hearted character between a rock and a hard place, sounding logical counterpoints while presenting an acceptance of fact.  Frank Langella is fabulously frustrating, wearing the trope of the outdated old-timer trope in the parallel fashion of both a badge of honor and a war trophy.  Kelvin Harrison Jr. amplifies the frustration that Abdul-Mateen II brings to the table while continuing the positively powerful portrayal of the Black Panthers.  Caitlin FitzGerald, Michael Keaton, John Doman, Wayne Duvall, Damian Young and others fill out a powerful ensemble cast.

Much like Malcolm X, a movie like The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a film whose educational aspects do not get in the way of educating people on a piece of history that is often swept under the rug.  I’ve never had aspirations of being a teacher, but if I ever end up in that role and happen to teach history, I will certainly try my best to put this film in the curriculum.  Otherwise, it can serve as a good bar-setter for whether or not someone can take in the work of Aaron Sorkin, which would make a follow-up like Molly’s Game or The Social Network easier to digest if the entry point is well-received.  

[lalallicat]

The Year’s Last, Loveliest Smile

Written for Fitzsimmons Appreciation Week 2017

Day 5: Favorite Season

Note: So the prompt for Day 5 is "Favorite Season" and it didn't occur to me until I was almost done writing this that they probably meant favorite season of Agents of Shield, not favorite season of the year.  Oh well. Have a coffee shop AU.

Fitz loves autumn.

He loves the crunch of dried leaves under his feet. He loves the chill that bites at his skin. He loves cozying up in thick knit jumpers, the yarn pilled at the elbows from wear.

But mostly, he loves pumpkin spice lattes.

According to a Buzzfeed quiz, this makes him 85% Basic Bitch, but he doesn’t care. Especially when the lattes are as life-changing as the ones at Mockingbird Cafe. Fitz has always enjoyed the coffee there, even before September rolled around. It’s part of his morning routine to stop by on his way to class to get his caffeine fix.

But midway through September, Bobbi offered him a tiny sample cup and, well. It was a revelation. There’s no other way to explain it. Fitz didn’t know that religious experiences could come in packages so tiny. He started going to Mockingbird twice a day to get his fix. He figures he needs to get as much of it as he can before the holiday season ends and it gets removed from the menu.

Bobbi’s behind the counter when he walks in for his afternoon fix. “Fitz!” She glances at her watch. “You’re early today.” She starts ringing him up before he even reaches the register.

“I can’t go another minute without caffeine,” he admits. “I’m addicted. You should be required to post FDA warnings around the shop.”

Jemma reaches around Bobbi to set down Fitz’s latte on the counter before Bobbi finishes his transaction.

“You’re the best,” he tells her absently, the same thing he tells her every time she hands him his coffee.

“That was fast,” Bobbi observes.

Jemma tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I saw him crossing the street outside the window, so I took the liberty of starting his drink.”

Fitz lifts his cup to her in a silent toast. “Best service ever.”

Jemma smiles shyly at his acknowledgement before turning back to the espresso machine.

Bobbi hands back Fitz’s credit card with a knowing smile. Fitz frowns. Lately, he can’t help but feel like everyone in the coffee shop knows something he doesn’t. Hunter keeps winking at him, Mack keeps chuckling and shaking his head, and Bobbi keeps sending Jemma to check on him when he settles in to study on the weekends, even though they don’t check on anyone else. Even Daisy, his supposed friend, the person who got him addicted to pumpkin spice lattes in the first place, has started refusing to serve him, forcing Jemma to handle all interactions with him instead. Which is weird because Daisy still visits him every weekend, coming over to his dorm for movie nights, occasionally dragging Jemma along with her. He’s not sure what’s going on with everyone working at Mockingbird, but he assumes it’s because they have also figured out that he’s a Basic Bitch.

It’s not until finals week that he figures it out. It’s absolute chaos when he walks in, every table covered in books and laptops, Bobbi and Mack trying their best to efficiently take orders from students and faculty in the line that stretches out the door, trash cans overflowing and milk and sugar covering the coffee station because Jemma, Daisy, and Hunter are too busy making drinks to check to see what needs to be cleaned.

It takes a full ten minutes between when Fitz orders and when he receives his drink, but when Hunter hands him his drink, he still says gratefully, “You’re the best.”

And then, he swears to God, everyone freezes. Even the other customers in line turns to stare at him.

“What is it?” Fitz asks, confused and alarmed.

“I thought I was the best,” Jemma teases, though her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“My best friend is whoever gives me my pumpkin spice latte,” Fitz teases back. “Sorry, but Hunter’s my best friend today.”

Jemma’s smile falters for a moment before it’s back, brighter and sunnier and faker than before. “I should empty the trash cans!” She wipes off her hands on her apron and flees to the back room.

Daisy punches his arm. Hard.

“Ow!” Fitz yelps, covering his arm with his hand. “What the hell, Daisy?”

Mack shakes his head, somehow managing to take the time to express his disappointment even as he’s ringing up customers. “Turbo. Dude.”

Hunter glares at him. “You shouldn’t lead girls on like that, mate.”

Fitz scans their faces, confused. “I don’t understand. Who am I leading on?”

Daisy opens her mouth to answer, but then the door to the back room swings open, Jemma emerging with a pile of empty trash bags bunched in her hands. Daisy surreptitiously nods towards Jemma.

Fitz waits until Jemma’s across the room to lean across the counter. “How the bloody hell did I lead her on? I didn’t even do anything!”

Daisy’s eyes widen in disbelief. “You started coming in twice a day right after she started working here!”

“Because that’s when you started serving pumpkin spice lattes!” Fitz protests.

“You used to hole up in your room on the weekends, but now you study here!”

“It smells like cinnamon here!”

“You’ve told her she’s the best every day for the past two months!”

“She’s makes the best pumpkin spice lattes!”

“Oh my God,” Daisy groans, covering her face with her hand. “Buzzfeed was wrong. You are definitely 100% basic.”

*

The thing is, it’s not like Fitz dislikes Jemma. He’s always thought she’s cute, with her bright smile and messy ponytail and scattering of freckles across her face. And she’s smart too, always asking about what he’s reading and adding her own informed opinions and analysis. And she’s funny, cracking jokes with Fitz and Daisy as they watch movies in his dorm room.

It’s just that it never even occurred to Fitz to be interested in her because she seems so out of his league. If he did like her, it was in the same absent way he liked Gal Gadot and Karen Gillan. Sure, they’re attractive and nice to look at, but they’re the kind of people you admire from afar.

And yeah, Jemma’s nice to him, but she works in customer service - she’s supposed to be nice to him. He’s certain that the only reason Jemma even noticed him is because Bobbi and Daisy and the others teased her about him so much - it’s easy to be interested in people who you already know are interested in you.

So even though Fitz didn’t do anything wrong, he still hurt Jemma’s feelings and he feels bad about it. And it’s not like he’s opposed to getting to know her better. So the first day of winter break, after most of the campus has left to go home, Fitz goes back to Mockingbird to see her.

She’s the only other person in the cafe when he walks in. “I don’t think I’ve actually seen it this empty in here before,” Fitz observes.

Jemma shrugs. “I think everyone is in post-finals hibernation mode.” She pushes a paper cup across the counter. “Here you go.”

Fitz looks down at the cup. “What’s this?”

Jemma’s mouth twists, amused. “It’s a pumpkin spice latte. What else would it be?”

Fitz’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. Uh, actually...I didn’t come for a pumpkin spice latte today.”

Jemma frowns. “But you always get a pumpkin spice latte.”

Fitz taps his fingers nervously against the counter. “I mean, I didn’t come to get coffee. I came to talk to - ”

Jemma shakes her head, reaching forward to pull the cup back towards her. “Sorry, it was stupid - I should have waited for you to order.”

“No, wait -” Fitz reaches out to grab the cup, accidentally placing his hand on hers instead. Their eyes meet for a moment, and they immediately jerk their hands back, mumbling apologies.

“I, uh.” Fitz rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I can buy the coffee. Since you already made it.”

Jemma ducks her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to.”

“No - I - I like pumpkin spice lattes. Really. It’s not a hardship.”

Jemma bites the corner of her mouth and pushes the cup back towards him. “You can just have it. New promotion - buy 100 lattes, get one free.”

“Thanks. I owe you one.” Fitz forces himself to look her in the eyes instead of down at his feet. “Maybe I can buy you dinner when you’re done.”

Jemma rolls her eyes. “Please tell me this isn’t about the other day. I really don’t care, Fitz. You don’t have to feel sorry for me.”

Fitz huffs, frustrated. Apparently, letting Jemma know he’s interested was easier before he was actually trying to show his interest. “Look, Jemma - if you’re not interested, that’s fine. You can just say that. But I do want to spend more time with you, and it has nothing to do with feeling sorry for you.”

Jemma’s brow furrows, confused. “But - the other day -”

Fitz gives her a self-deprecating smile. “Would you believe me if I said that it never occurred to me that you would be interested in spending time with me too?”

Jemma presses her lips tightly together, apparently thinking it over. After what feels like an eternity but was probably only five seconds, she turns up the corners of her lips into a small smile. “I get off at six.”

“Great. It’s a date.”

*

In March, Fitz starts visiting Mockingbird Cafe three times a day instead of two.

“You know we don’t sell pumpkin spice lattes anymore, right?” Hunter asks when Fitz walks through the door at six. Behind Hunter, Jemma lights up when she sees him. She glances at the clock and starts untying her apron as she walks to the back room.

“I know,” Fitz tells him, watching Jemma emerge from the back room with her purse and sweater. “But it turns out there’s something here that I like even more.”

(Prompt from here: http://diegoalvesisgod.tumblr.com/post/167408180712/christmas-au-prompts)

[punishandenslavesuckers]

Caleb and Adam go to a party. It’s a nice party. The food is good. The people are chill. Then Caleb eats like three fucking pot brownies by accident. Getting snacks for your giant, high, empathic boyfriend is not the worst way to spend a night. (ao3)

Adam can honestly – for real – admit that Caleb’s teammates are not actually all humongous frat-boy assholes in muscle shirts. In fact, only one of them is wearing a muscle shirt and the one in the muscle shirt is also in Adam’s AP Calc class and, apparently, his ability to crush a beer can against his forehead hasn’t stopped him from getting a 4.0. Several of them have 4.0’s. Adam… knew that on an intellectual level of course. Something about all of them standing together in jerseys made them kind of vanish individually for some reason.

“Cheerleader effect,” says Katie McLain, who has a cider in her hand and winged liner out to her temples. “When a bunch of people stand in a group you stop perceiving the details of each person and view them holistically. This tends to make everyone more attractive. It’s why they all move in packs.”

Bobbie Kensey, the second-string quarterback and her best friend, looks up from the blunt he’s trying to light, offended.

“Hey! That’s not true.” He tries to push Katie away with his palm over her face. She bites at him. “See? She’s rabid. Don’t buy into her fuckin’ slander. We are all individually gorgeous.” He raises his voice. “EXCEPT FOR HENDERSON WHO IS UGLY AS FUCK! GAWD! SOMEONE JUST PUT HIM DOWN ALREADY!”

Faintly from the other-side of the house: “FUCK YOU, KENSEY!”

Adam, who has been nursing a plain Cola-Cola for the last ten minutes, says, “Are the migratory habits of football players really that interesting to you, Katie?”

Katie snorts. “Hell, no. I’m gay as fuck. It’s the cheerleaders I’m monitoring.”

Bobbie and Katie high-five, except Katie is drunk so her palm smacks Bobbie right in the face. “Katie! You useless lesbian!”

“HAAAAAA!”

Bobbie shoves Katie down a nearby hall and moves as if to follow her, then hesitates. “Hey, man, you’re here with Caleb right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Adam takes a drink of his soda to mask the immediate nerves that rise at the question. “I am here... with Caleb.”

“Cool, cool. He didn’t ditch you did he?” Bobbie’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “Because, sometimes, he like just jets outta these parties like a weirdo and doesn’t tell anyone he did it, so people think he’s lying in someone’s lawn somewhere. Or, people would think that, if Michaels actually drank. Which he doesn’t. Because he’s lame.” Bobbie lets that stand for a moment, looking hyperbolically annoyed, but not really. “Anyway, don’t let him ditch you like a loser.”

“Uh, he just went to get some food really quick.” Adam looks around. “Really quick… in this case meaning like half an hour ago.”

 “Food’s down stairs in the den. He probably got roped into a Cards Against Humanity or something. He fuckin’ kills at that game.” Bobbie points a finger. “Don’t… let him ditch you.”

Adam snorts. “He’s not ditching me.”

“I know, like, he really likes you, dude. But he’s kinda dumb in groups. Don’t let him ditch you.”

Adam… isn’t sure why that makes him smile, but it does. “I think Katie found the cheerleaders.” He jerks his head as delighted screaming originates from down the hall. “Should you stop her?”

“Ah, fuck.”

Adam navigates the house, sipping his watery soda to deflect any misguided notions that he might want someone to talk to him. He doesn’t recognize at least half the party-goers, so they’re probably from other schools in the area. He’s already feeling pretty tapped out from meeting the team in a giant group earlier and suspects there were instructions to ‘be cool, guys, seriously, be cool’ because some of them seem to be going especially far out of their way to chat him up.

Imagining Caleb nervously negotiating with a bunch of football players to be nice… Adam logs that mental imagine away to tease him about later.

If he can find him.

After about five minutes of unsuccessfully hunting, Adam begins to worry Bobbie was right. Not about the ditching, but about the jetting away from groups thing. What appears to be random sprinting away from parties to the casual observer was likely just Caleb getting overwhelmed by the collective drunk emotions of other teenagers and peacing out. Seems weird that he wouldn’t text if that were the case. Adam triple checks his phone a few times. Scans the dark slightly smoky confines of the basement. The pool table’s been converted into a buffet line of chips, dip, mini hotdogs and desserts.

There are dark piles of people in the corners of the room, chatting and/or making out. Adam recognizes most of the defensive line-men yelling happily at each other over on the couches near the fall wall. Adam hesitates… then carefully wanders over to inspect the activities and scan for Caleb. He tries to be stealthy. Unfortunately, team captain David Yen spots him over his hand of poker cards and, of course, shouts at him.

“Hey Adam! Wanna play?”

“Uh, maybe next round. Anyone seen Caleb? I think he got lost on his way to pizza rolls or whatever.”

The groups immediately busts up laughing. Yen points at the loveseat by the TV. A very tall person in a letterman’s jacket is flopped there with their arms over their face. Said tall person is wearing the same jeans and sneakers that Caleb was last seen wearing. They are built like Caleb – improbable shoulder to waist ratio and weirdly attractive forearms. But this tall person cannot possibly be his improbable boyfriend because the tall person on the love seat looks… drunk, maybe? Or like they fell asleep in a crowd of raucous teenagers. Both impossible things.

“I think it’s kicking in,” Yen laughs.

Adam immediately goes on alert. “What… is?”

“I saw him eat like… three pot brownies earlier.”

Adam’s eyes get very large. “Say what now?”

“Pot brownies. Like… some pretty strong ones. I know he doesn’t, you know, do that. So I told him to sit down.”

Adam physically climbs over the first-string defensive tackle and the second-string running back to get to the loveseat, disturbing a bowl of Cheetos on his way across the room. He leans over and gently puts a hand on Caleb’s arm, shaking him.

“Heeey, buddy. What’s up?”

Caleb groans and rolls over. It’s very slow, lethargic kind of moving, lots of stretching and unnecessary arching. Caleb drops his arms to squint up at the face hovering over him. Then he grins. Fuck. That smile is white sunshine. Adam’s brain – easily distractible in this area – stops for a moment to admire the geometry of his boyfriend’s face. It’s like… something. A Renaissance painting. The Golden Ratio is somewhere in the way his eyes crinkle at the corners and his mouth kinks up into left-side dimple. There is divine intervention in the warm brown of his skin and the clean line of his jaw.

He’s ridiculously fucking hot. Okay?

Adam shakes himself out it.

“Caleb. You okay?”

“M’green,” he says cheerfully, running a hand over his face.

“Yeeeah. I’ll bet you are. Are you… sure you’re okay?”

Caleb laughs, a warm, sleepy sound and reaches for Adam, catching his arm. “C’mere. Hey, I need to talk to you.”

Adam heroically resists being pulled onto the couch by his giant running back boyfriend. “No. You need to stand up and probably go home.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re reeeeeeally high.”

“Maybe.”

“Not maybe. Definitely. One-hundred percent.”

“So what?”

Adam lowers his voice. “So… we might want to get away from the big crowd of drunk people?”

Caleb blinks, confused, then remembers apparently that he’s fucking empath.

“Ooooh, okay. Right.” He nods. “Smart.”

“Yeah.”

 “You’re worried?” Caleb frowns, brow knitting. “Why’re you worried?”

Adam laughs. The act itself banishes some of the niggling anxiety and Caleb’s grin comes back, relieved and sympathetically cheery. Adam has a sneaking suspicion that his good mood might be contact-high (so to speak) from being around his teammates who seem to all be in relatively high spirits presently. Adam resolves to be calm and logical. It would be incredibly lame of him to fail at being an empathic true north by getting all panicky, thereby making his empath boyfriend freak out while high as balls.

“I’m not worried. You’re just a dork who can’t tell pot brownies from normal brownies.”

Caleb pouts. “They had sprinkles.”

“Oh? The sprinkles fooled you?”

“Pot brownies don’t have sprinkles.”

Yen, from the other couch, pipes up. “Yes, they do, Michaels, you fuckin’ geek.”

Adam nods. “See. Team captain says so. You were duped by sprinkles. That’s adorable.”

“Noo,” Caleb grumps.

“Jesus, you’re really high. C’mon.” Adam takes Caleb’s elbow and tugs, eventually pulling his arm over his shoulders so he gets the idea. “Let’s go. Up. We’re going for a walk. Let’s walk it off, champ. Hey! No! No – well, fuck me, I guess.”

Caleb’s on his feet, but he’s turned Adam’s helpful arm-drape into a hug. Yen and the defensive line are dying laughing, which only makes Caleb increasingly giddy. Adam tries to pry his way out of the bear hug, but gives up and tolerates the warm, nice-smelling, rib-crush of Caleb’s embrace. Mostly because he literally cannot get away, but partially because there’s a kind of rabbiting excitement jacking through his nerves because Caleb is hugging him in public and nothing bad is happening. He eye-balls the rest of the team. The team cornerback is giving Adam an enthusiastic if somewhat asshole-ish thumbs up.

“So… none of you are gonna help.”

Rogers and Masuri shake their heads. Yen is too busy taking a selfie.

“Thanks guys. You’re the best.”

Adam kind of grabs Caleb’s elbow, his arms still firmly around his shoulders, and marches through the chortling linebackers, dragging Caleb with him. Caleb’s weight falls partially against him but not quite enough to drag him down as dead weight. He hums happily and presses his face against Adam’s neck which is, you know, completely earth-shatteringly unfair. He was wrong. There is no god. Adam focuses on putting one foot in front of the other, relying on the smoke and commotion to hide how red he’s getting – and not just because Caleb is goddamn heavy.

“Hey,” Caleb says. His cheek brushes Adam’s jaw. “Hey, Adam?”

“Yup?”

“I’m hungry. Can we go to Taco Bell?”

“Jesus. Yes, Caleb, we can go to Taco Bell, you fuckin’ pot-head.”

“Yesss. You’re the best.”

Caleb kisses him on the cheek.

Adam’s whole goddamn face is now, surely, lit internally. No one cares. Literally no one is looking at them. He knows this. He can tell everyone is far too busy doing whatever they’re already doing, to notice Adam Hayes and Caleb Michaels struggle to get up the fucking stairs because Caleb won’t stop nuzzling him. It’s fine. Happy thoughts.

Adam succeeds, just barely, in lead-dragging Caleb out the front door and into the driveway, where the cool air and distance do the work he was hoping for. It takes about five blocks of walking out from suburbia toward the distinct glow of fast-food establishments, but eventually Caleb stop bear-hugging him and kind of squints around like, he hadn’t noticed the sudden change of scenery. When they reach the sprawl of streetlights and late-night restaurants, he grimaces and scrubs his face with both palms.

“Oh god,” he says into his palms.

Adam pats him on the shoulder. “Breathe.”

“Oh my god.” He drags his hands down his face.

Adam grins. “It’s fine.”

“That was so embarrassing. Oh god. What the fuck?”

“Seriously, it’s fine. No worries.”

“I’m sorry. I ruined it. You were supposed to have fun at the party.”

“Trust me, I’m wholly entertained.”

Caleb frets at the crosswalk in front of Taco Bell. “This is so weird. I’ve never… I didn’t know…”

“Know what?”

“It’s like… I can feel your emotions but its… blurry and far away? Kinda.”

“In a bad way?”

“No. Just… not as strong somehow? Everyone’s emotions felt… distant? Like There were their emotions and mine and they didn’t… mix as much.”

“So… pot mellowed out your powers?”

“Maybe? I dunno. Kinda?”

“Okay. Good to know. Live and learn.”

Caleb’s whole face scrunches up. “Fuck. I kissed you… in front of people…”

“Let’s get you a Crunch-Wrap.”

“Oh man, that sounds so good. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“I really didn’t mind and no one cared, dude.”

“But that wasn’t cool. I didn’t ask or anything. Geez…”

Adam sighs and taps Caleb on the shoulder. When he turns, Adam boosts up slightly to press a quick kiss to his jaw.

“You’re fine.” He drops back down and slaps the back of his hand against Caleb’s chest. “Feel that? Even fuzzy and distant, you gotta feel that right?” He grins at Caleb’s slow, hopeful smile. “See? You’re good. Now, let’s get tacos.”

  fin

[seahawkerspodcast]

3 IN, 3 OUT – The Magic Number 12

By fellow 12 Clinton Bonner

Ohhhhhhh my Flockers, this week’s performance was brought to us, delivered to us, and ultimately served to us by the fabulous #12. We all know why and we don’t have to be rocket surgeons to dig too deep here now do we!?

First home game, 12s fired up.

Final score, 12 to 9 (thanks to a Walsh doink on a PAT)

And of course as you all surely knew… my wife and I celebrated our 12th anniversary, September 17th, which of course was just this past Sunday.

So, as you can see… it just had to be. But, did it have to be so dang hard??? Did we need to go 15 rounds, Balboa-Creed style, against this 49ers group??? Holy catfish no we did not!!! This game had the bleeps, sweeps, and the creeps all culminating in our ‘Hawks in the best formation possible on our home turf with 2 minutes to go… Victory Formation.

As you know by now – and if you don’t shame on you, where’ve ya been?, no excuses, jump in the water’s fine – 3 IN, 3 OUT delves into 3 things that got us 12s fired up, and 3 things that left us scratching our temples. And of course… we try to avoid the vapid, the mundane, and the obvious re-cap as we instead peel back the layers of this ogre onion, and find ‘dem nooks and crannies that satiate our fanaticism.

If we win, we start with an IN … so let’s get at it.

  IN – Ifedi, the Planet Maker

I’m fascinated by science, I dig it. Any of those ‘How the Universe’ this and ‘Through the Wormhole’ that… I’m probably watching at some point. Ever catch one of the episodes that discusses the formation of planets in a system? Fascinating. All the trillions of micro-moments, permutations, collisions, creative destructions that happen in order for an actual planet to form… boggles the mind. It’s one giant game of Plinko and yet, when the dust settles, literally, something gorgeous has been created.

While the pundits will certainly discuss Russell’s houdinability on our only TD of the game, something will get overlooked. As the story of P-Rich’s bone popping through his skin, getting it sewn up like Gordy Howe, and getting back out there to haul in the game winning catch grabs bylines, the formation of the planet will have been overlooked.

This play is insane for many reasons. Watch it as many times as you’d like… I’ll wait.

Russell Wilson somehow finds Paul Richardson for a TD! Seahawks lead 12-9 after Blair Walsh missed the XP. http://pic.twitter.com/AEj5atkm7h

— NFL Update (@MySportsUpdate) September 17, 2017

  First… Odhiambo AND Glowinski just fail and fail completely. This should have been a sack and a tie game at 9. Both players failed in such unison that the 2 cosmic rocks that were 49er defenders collide with one another, creating a sliver of salvation for the slippery Wilson to sneak through. He does Russell things and like a fine Knight on the warboard of chess, he moves up 2 spaces, over three and captures 6 with a dime thrown to #10. This play is why we he wins and wins and wins…

Watch it again. There is only one reason Wilson has any chance to escape up the pocket and to his left and that’s because Ifedi does a masterful job on this TD play from start to 6. Germain first executes a perfect RT pocket-creating block, heck if anyone else did their jobs on the line, this woulda been a picture perfect pocket. But planets aren’t formed quite that way.

As Wilson starts to move up, Ifedi is beat for a nano-second as his left leg gives out and he’s down on one knee still blocking the enemy. He muscles back up to two feet, stays engaged with the block and then finishes with just enough ooooomph giving Russ a chance to break left, allowing him to throw the pass.

We kill the O-line all the time. In this play where everyone’s discussing Russ' magic and Richardson’s catch after having his finger sewn back up (thatta a boy P-Rich!!!) … it’s smart to realize that for a planet to form, you need it ALL to go right.

Great job #76 … keep making this side of the ledger would ya!

  OUT – Rhythm is Gonna Get Ya

As previously mentioned, my wife and I celebrated our 12-year anniversary on Sunday… she’s a fitness trainer and she’ll routinely – with proper cause – get on me about ‘my pace’… I like to meander, saunter… perhaps even mosey. Well, fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son and for our ‘Hawks, slow, plodding, and predictable is NO WAY to go through running this offense.

As Brandan and Adam routinely discuss on the pod, our offense seems to function much, much better – like actually work as a unit – when we go up tempo. Adam’s refers to this as … ‘calling the good plays’…  A few things are evident when we go up tempo and call the good plays!

Our explosive plays go up, mainly because it becomes more backyard ball and our QB is the best improviser in the sport

Russ gets chunks of yards on the ground, including chain-movers

It leads to better success through the air as a result of the non-predictability of it all

So let’s see. We run the ball better overall. We move the chains much more often… and it results most often in points.

Yeah… let’s not do this!!!

Pete, Bevell, anyone with influence in this inner circle… pick-up your friggin’ pace.

  IN – Early, Often, Rhymes with Rocket

Wooooooooh… Tyler Lockett is good at professional football eh?

To see him back, at full speed, and dominating his position for an entire half was huge. We were dropped balls – and not by Lockett – away from this being an early blow out. Lockett did all he could to set us up for success.

The thing that is most impressive to me when you watch Lockett execute mid-range routes is just how open he tends to be. He’s so quick down field that his speed is respected and then his route running prowess takes over and he’s got 3 yards of separation on an out or curl.

While our offense decided to take a nap during the 3rd quarter – always fun! – it was Lockett’s early snags that got us out in front, and who had the first reception of what would be our game-winning drive? Rhymes with Rocket.

Lockett is back to his rookie form when he was un-hampered by any nagging knees. Lockett at full speed + our offense at full speed (at some point)… expect big things Flock!!!

  OUT – Mamma Dropsies

NOTE – not my wife and I, that's actually Coolio

  We may as well let the wifey storytelling continue… In our cupboard, we used to have these oversized, lavender colored plastic cups that could hold probably 30 oz. They were just kinda silly and cumbersome. This was the wifey’s cup o’ choice for a good 2 to 3 years and at least once a month she’d spill this thing… and every single time my response was:

“Oh boy Mamma Dropsies did it again!!!”

She finally stopped using that stupid cup.

I didn’t care when Karen got cut. I didn’t mind seeing Kearse go, considering who we got in return.

I know it was raining, but watching Prosise n’ McEvoy drop TDs and first downs made us all cringe didn’t it? Prosise is supposed to be our sure-handed receiving back and with Kearse gone, I was hoping for more red zone looks for our trio of receivers who pretty much catch ‘em all.

This OUT was just too obvious to drop. Come on roll players #DoBetter!!!

  IN – My Brother’s Keeper

There was an incredible moment in this game that took place in-between whistles and it fired me up more than anything else this season thus far!!!

After the Wagner pick, subsequent fumble, then recovery by Big Perm Big Sherm … this beautiful moment happened.

Another 49ers drive. Another #Seahawks stop. #GoHawks http://pic.twitter.com/UBgR5r4I2d

— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) September 17, 2017

  Now you might be thinking Earl is there to simply congratulate Bobby… but watch the video below. Misa thinks Earl had a different message for #54, judge for yourself:

For the 2nd year in a row, Bobby Wagner gets a pick at home vs the 49ers. #SFvsSEA #TurtlePower http://pic.twitter.com/d9cJUJkup8

— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) September 18, 2017

  … and exhibit B:

I am my brothers keeper. https://t.co/Ny4jrGLypD

— Earl Thomas (@Earl_Thomas) September 18, 2017

  We’re certain Earl was there to partially congratulate Bobby – who made one heckuva play – but we’re also certain Earl was there to remind Bobby, that ball is ours.

  OUT – Don’t Do it ‘Quill !!!

Penalties. So often in today’s NFL, ticky-tacky touches cause the tug on those tiny yellow towels. As much as we all love this game, it becomes hard to watch when refs take it upon themselves to determine the outcomes.

Those situations stink, but there’s actually another that’s harder to swallow. When you as an observer, at home, with pizza in one hand, and some bubbling beverage in the other have time to scream at the television… “Don’t do it Quill!!!” … and well, he does it… it’s actually worse.

4:59 left in the game.

We are leading 12 – 9, and forced the 49ers to punt it back to us after solid tackles by Reed, Lane, and KJ respectively.

Lockett fields the punt at our own 22 as Shaq Griffin stares down, sizes up, and then decides to block a 49er SQUARELY in the swell of his back. This was just unreal.

I wasn’t alone in my shock:

  Very thankfully, this penalty didn’t come back to hurt us. Another IN could easily have been the 4th quarter holes our O-line eventually created and of course the clock-chewing Chris Carson work he put in, assuring we were taking that aforementioned Victory Formation.

But Shaq… Quill … Boobie … you can’t do that again man. You’re a promising pup and us 12s dig ya! Don’t be on this side of the ledger for something so dumb again!

  From the Flock

We had a lot of fun this week on the Sea Hawkers Ring of Honor, on the Sea Hawkers Podcast fanpage on Facebook, and on Twitter during the game. Here are some of the INs and OUTs from you, the Flockers!

  The UK Seahawkers didn’t like Wilson living the ‘High Life’:

Overthrow after Overthrow after Overthrow

— UK Seahawkers (@SeahawkersUK) September 17, 2017

  The snark was strong from Flocktimus Prime:

I'd say the run game is an #out but there is no run game. @clintonbon #3i3o #Seahawks

— Keith Ketover (@FlocktimusPrime) September 17, 2017

  And finally the Sea Hawkers Podcast used facts, logic, and reason to make us all feel better.

IN: Doubled our first half scoring output from last week #3i3o

— Sea Hawkers Podcast (@SeaHawkersPod) September 17, 2017

  1,2, 3 … What’s Next!!!???

It’s the first Mamma Cleo sighting of the year Flock!!!

She’s gazing deep into some sexy deep crystal balls… what does she see???

A squeaker that is sweet Music City to our ears.

Seahawks 22 – Titans 18

#GoHawks

  We are ALWAYS interested in your opinions, your nooks, your crannies and your INs and OUTs of each game, so let's hear it Flock!!!

Go ‘Hawks!!!

Listen to THE best Seahawks podcast out there 12's – The Sea Hawkers Podcast!!! – Do it!

iTunes here

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  via The Sea Hawkers Podcast http://ift.tt/2ww57Ry

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 4.14.2007 + 4.15.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week. today: buttrock confessions

4.14.2007

40) "Ticks," Brad Paisley

So I watched the whole entire CMAs instead of Game 7 of the World Series and don't regret a single choice I made (the game went into extras, you don’t really have to watch baseball until the ninth inning tbh), and it struck me how much of a dorky theatre kid Brad Paisley was. He's objectively a great guitarist, like hokey as this song is and as little I know about music I think that's a dope fucking guitar line, but gosh darn, he was trying so hard the whole time at those CMAS! And that puts a song like this in perspective, because, like I said, it's hokey as fuck, but if you can just understand that Brad Paisley's sense of humor is that of someone who understands that being funny is a way to be Liked and is trying his best to be Liked, it sort of comes together and you can brush it off.

75) "We Takin' Over," DJ Khaled ft./T.I., Akon, Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Lil' Wayne, Baby

FUCK DUDE LIL' WAYNE USED TO BE GOOD. Like OK I think we all know I wanted to come here and be like "look at the humble beginnings of the meme man! He wasn't such a meme in these days!" but then there was a Lil' Wayne verse where he wasn't fucking around with Auto-tune, he was just rapping, and he was such a good fucking rapper that I'm actually angrier at the two "verses" he had on those Nicki Minaj songs a couple weeks back. It's not even one of his more notable verses, I don't think, it was just a normal 10-year-old Wayne verse, but I'm still here like, what a treat, a Lil' Wanye feature I don't mind! How lucky we were in 2007!

78) "Little Wonders," Rob Thomas

it is good to remember things that are nice! the lyric video i watched for this song ended with this message from the editor: "Believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never, EVER give up =)." i would have much rather someone had just repeated those words over and over for three and a half minutes than listened to this song. DANNY ELFMAN?! fuck are you doing here, danny elfman? are you lost?

79) "Hey There Delilah," Plain White T's

There is nothing I could say about this song that would be worth saying.

82) "I Tried," Bone Thugs-N-Harmony ft./Akon

a'ight, see, now i feel better about bumping pink and jordan pruitt from the top 20, because it won't be some buttrock heroes what bumps 'em, it'll be a legit impressive, heartfelt song. i'm kinda surprised i don't remember this! now i just gotta contend with the fact most of both top 20s are gonna be dudes. but like most of these songs are dudes. this week is all dudes. next week is a 7:2 dude-to-lady ratio. last week was 2:1. maybe less dudes? idk, recency bias is doin' work, but at least two weeks from now, we're gonna get some dope tunes.

87) "Get Buck," Young Buck

HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKING BEAT THE TUBA HAS NEVER HAD A BETTER DAY IN ITS LIFE. OK, this is the first 2007 track I think has been unjustifiably forgotten by time. “Say OK” hit me, but I think that was just a moment for me. This is objectively a classic, this fucking beat, man. Young Buck doesn't add a ton to the proceedings, but he doesn't ruin anything, his gruff, shouty flow is perfect for the beat, and I'll admit, I got a dark chuckle out of the "I can serve Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown" line. This was fuckin' rad, y'all, the best "new to me" song I've heard so far. Seriously this beat, how have we not found a better home for it, how did no one else latch onto it. A strong silver medalist in the "Southern rap songs with the word 'buck' in the title" category.

89) "A Woman's Love," Alan Jackson

Alan Jackson, last seen walking out on Beyonce's performance at the CMAs, is here singing a jaunty tune about how one time he fucked.

91) "Love Today," MIKA

i mean it's just a good song, man, i dunno. i'm allowed to just say when a song is solid and something i can jam to, right, when i don't think i have anything to justify? it's low-rent scissor sisters. I'LL TAKE THAT ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. solid week.

95) "Forever," Papa Roach

...oh goddamnit i love this song. No, you don't... Lemme explain. I need to explain, so lemme. So, I listened to a lot of the local buttrock station in my teens, because that's what the radio at the auto shop where I worked was always tuned to, was 93X. And, I dunno, there's a lot of bullshit I forgot and a lot of shit too horrible to purge from the mind, I've heard the acoustic version of Staind's "Outside" more times than any man ever should, but there were some songs where the Stockholm Syndrome hit, and you were like, "Well, maybe Chevelle isn't ALL bad." This was definitely the point where I was like, "Hey, this is the one decent Papa Roach song!" I was legit angry when I realized this was that song, I forgot I ever loved a Papa Roach song, I was 10000% sure this was a cover because there was no way I was going to go anywhere but IN on this song, but no, this is a song I shouted in the shower at least five times. I'm so disappointed in myself right now, but... But, yeah, this is, I can’t quite place where they cribbed the verses from but they cribbed well, the chorus is shouty and fake-deep like all the great buttrock songs, and I love that ending, the “one last kiss” thing over that bass line, without reservation. We have to be true to who we were, and who we are is never fully removed from who we were. I hate this. I hate having to admit this. THE ONE PAPA ROACH SONG I FUCK WITH, AND IT HAS TO BE PART OF THIS PROJECT. I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT A KENDRICK LAMAR SONG SOON, AND HERE I AM, FUCKING WITH A PAPA ROACH SONG, THROWING MY CRITICAL AUTHORITY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.

97) "Breath," Breaking Benjamin

I have less reservations about loving a Breaking Benjamin song, though, because Breaking Benjamin wasn't fake-deep like Papa Roach. ("My feelings for you are forever." God, that's stupid. I love a very stupid thing.) No, Breaking Benjamin was legit dark, they were a buttrock band I knew was OK because my friend who ended up going to a semi-prestigious art high school of some renown was into them. Is it the same song as "The Diary of Jane?" Yeah, kinda, there's more than a little resemblance, "THE DIARY OF JANE" IS A LEGIT GREAT SONG AND BITING THAT SONG IS A SMART MOVE.

At least Papa Roach couldn’t crack the Top 20. 2007: gaining strength! 20) "Get it Shawty," by Lloyd (3.31.2007) 19) "Break 'Em Off," by Paul Wall ft./Lil' KeKe (3.10.2007) 18) "My Oh My," by The Wreckers (1.27.2007) 17) "Mr. Jones," by Mike Jones (1.27.2007) 16) "Settlin'," by Sugarland (2.17.2007) 15) "I Tried," by Bone Thugs 'n Harmony (4.21.2007) 14) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 13) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 12) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 11) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.21.2007) 10) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 9) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 8) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 7) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 6) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 5) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.21.2007) 4) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 3) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 2) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 1) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007)

4.15.2017

22) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar

I mean, with the way I do this thing, everything that's been said about this song has been said, and I'm hella late to the party, trying to get another round of Pin the Tail on the Donkey started. "You didn't have fun without me, I'm about to have fun WITH you!" No Bob! we already played that game Bob!. "BLINDFOLD ME!" I think it's vitally important that Kendrick Lamar remind everyone that he's the best MC alive right now, because he is, and gosh, he just fucking raps for four minutes. Barely a hook, just Kendrick Lamar verses and flows for a solid four minutes, and I'm really curious how many rappers could sustain a song for four (mostly) uninterrupted minutes just on their own. Minimalist production, it's just your voice and your words. I'd put Danny Brown in that category, but it'd be a bleak-ass four minutes. I want to put Killer Mike in that category, but I have to think there's a reason he works best in a duo. I'd want to listen to what four minutes of undiulted Young Thug would sound like?, but more out of curiosity than belief in his ability. And I mean Kendrick's the only one in the popular consciousness who could do it, no fuckin’ question, there's no one in the mainstream rap world anywhere NEAR his level. (Kendrick Lamar is barely mainstream, of course, and that fact is a source of much consternation on this song, like there's no way the entire Kendrick album breaks the Hot 100 like the entire Drake album did, but he was in a Tay Tay song the one time and that's enough.) Just listening to Kendrick Lamar rap is one of the most thrilling songs I've heard for YAS 2017. Honestly, I'm ranking it too low in the Top 20, but only because I have to think better things are on their way and am wary of that recency bias wave.

49) "XO Tour Lif3," by Lil Uzi Vert

Congratulations on being the modern rap song which followed "The Heart Part 4!" You were always going to suffer in comparison, and while I regret that it happened to you, I hope you understand it had to happen to someone. I mean, this is a three-minute song, and at some point I got bored enough that I forgot I was supposed to be paying attention to come up with an observation and/or a joke and did other things. Not even shit I needed to take care of, I checked Facebook and thought about getting a glass of milk until he started saying all his friends are dead, like what?, oh okay I guess that's how this song ends then, OH FUCK well prolly not worth dipping back in if I got that distracted.

61) "Speak to a Girl," by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

So over the last four weeks, only three women have had tracks debut on the Hot 100. That's pretty cool. One of the three dudes who wrote this song, about what a girl REALLY wants from a man, was also a co-writer on Jason Derulo's "Wiggle," which is, I mean, I'm going off Wikipedia, I'm hopeful this is too awful to be true, but if it isn't, how does that dude sleep at night? What does that dude believe in? Who is his god, just, to what moral authority is our man Joe London holding himself accountable? Do Not Trust Joe London. Another of the songwriters worked with a band called Confederate Railroad. Country music is the coolest. I'm so proud to like this genre.

66) "Still Got Time," by ZAYN ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR

First of all, we need to take a minute to discuss the sheer disrespect for the concept of caps lock expressed by ZAYN and PARTYNEXTDOOR. This is a mumblecore pop song, and I must insist these dudes cease using all capital letters until they prove they're capable of expressing excitement. Other than that gripe, though, I dunno, I didn't have a bad time! I enjoyed it about as much as I did "Running Back" a few weeks ago, it didn't light this Tuesday evening on fire, but it was a chill groove, and I appreciated the B+ to which all involved contributed. Also, new favorite Wikipedia line: "Shane Lindstrom, professionally known as Murda Beatz." One, professionally known. Two, imagine ever asking someone to call you Murda. Gosh, what a stupid fucking stage name. (Stage name? Backstage name? Why do you need an alias bro you're a fucking producer, you don't get to have a fake name, the fuck makes you think you can have a fake name. Even Swizz Beatz rapped sometimes, what is your goddamned problem Murda Beatz.)

2017′s Top 20! I lowered “Run Up” again. I miss it dearly but I can’t pretend I liked it more than “Green Light.” 20) "Swalla," by Jason Derulo ft./Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (4.8) 19) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 18) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 17) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 16) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 15) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 14) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 9) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) how the fuck did “swalla” make it two weeks Also, I know there was a new Iggy Azalea song, and I’m just gonna say, if having to listen to 21 Drake songs was the price I paid to not have to hear 1 Iggy Azalea song, I will have been glad to have paid the toll. That is a reasonable trade, one I would never say no to. Boy I hope it doesn’t debut next week! Also: “iSpy” in the for-real top five! That’s so dope! I’m happy for that song!

Who won the week?

2007 had the stronger showing this week, and let’s be real, I think it’s out-paced 2017 at this point. 2007′s at the point where “Get It Shawty” is hanging on by a thread while “Grace Kelly” and “Outside Looking In” are outside looking in. 2017 needs to step its game up. We’re two weeks from “Umbrella.” Is that so much to ask, is for just one instant classic era-defining monster jam that shatters the world? Come on, 2017! 2007: 2 2017: 1