#but every so often ill check out their blog and browse their personal posts tag

[milfspiggy]

it's soooo so bizarre having someone who you check up on every once in a while because you hate them

[baekhvuns]

do you have any advice for new fic writers ? sorry if you’ve answered a question like this before dkdndj but your work is so so good! any tips on how to write lengthy works without rushing and how to make it super detailed?

oh pls don’t apologize fdjhdh i recently had gotten that question but ill put that answer up and answer the second half of your question !!! <3 and thank u so much 💓✨💓 sorry this got long 😭😭

tag system! first FIVE tags on your works are very important so make sure u put those tags that define your fic !! it’s a way ppl can find ur fics easily for ex if it’s a seonghwa fic my first five tags r like “seonghwa, ateez, ateez seonghwa, seonghwa fics, park seonghwa.”

grammar and punctuation, use “” instead of <> when dialogues + leave space between paragraphs so ppl can find it easy to read and understand !! also the usage of lowercase is used for aesthetics so that’d be pretty nice to use !!

when writing, don’t be obliged to write something u don’t want to! if u would like to come up with plots but r a mind blank on it u can get some plots by watching movies (adapting a fic on that) and or kdramas !! (i think a while back i linked a few places i look for prompts,, if i can find it again ill link it here)

also this is super important, whether it be if ur posting from phone or laptop. make sure u put the “read more” button if ur fic is longer than 500+ words. on laptop u can find it as the button with 3 dots !! on phone, to add the readmore button do the following

:readmore: (then press enter on ur keyboard it’ll make a sign by it self)

you can follow the thing i personally do, the whole “synopsis, themes, parings etc” when u write a fic !! in the synopsis part, that’s ur trailer and ur job is not directly tell everything in it. make it short and sweet

a way u can attract ppl are with your blogs themes,,, i recommend browsing through pintrest to find some exceptionally great pictures that u find really pretty and make it as ur theme !! if u find it difficult i can for sure help!

set your masterlist up, u can use the same colour them on that too!! make it as organized as u can !! + lastly have fun writing! u can use google docs to get ur grammar checks and stuff, and then copy paste it onto tumblr and set up a post and boom publish!

THE SECOND HALF FBFB

“how do you write lengthy works without rushing and how to make them super detailed?”

okay for me, i write lengthy works because there’s times where i feel like there isn’t enough interaction between the yn and whatever idol you write for. as in for example, when i feel the interaction between the reader and xyz is very awkward or minuscule,,, i tend to write small paragraphs that can describe their relationship building thru time.

like use time and pace as a tool, describe like “you and him went down the streets with drinks in hand and giggles echoing out to having sleepovers where you binged movies to doing hand paintings which ended up being a mess.”

see that kind of builds relationship between the reader and xyz in a short amount of time that you necessarily don’t feel like you’re rushing a fic !!! and so u can also image that right? dbdbdb

i will always always recommend that after you write a few words or a paragraph, or whatever many words you wrote in one sitting. read it thru again, fix the mistakes, make it make sense. bc u are your own critique and you’ll find the tiniest of detail to fix.

as in for me, i do this quite often when i write something i always go look back and reread from where i wrote and fix each and every thing that bothers me or sticks out.

and as for super detailed work, i usually web that in when i do the ^^^^ top part !!! id say don’t be afraid to describe things in details, NO MATTER how much u think ur are overdoing it. just keep doing it, if u have a picture in mind then use that exact picture and describe it in as much of detail as you can.(browse thru pintrest for inspiration for pictures)

so take a building for an example

“there stood a building, grey and tall with windows on each level.”

now i write that, but when i go look back at it to fix it, i won’t be afraid to literally list every possible thing about that building.

“there stood a building, grey in colour, around fifty floors tall and windows that were made of glass. making the orangey hued sunset reflect beautifully through them.”

now you can IMAGE that right? the entire aspect is for you to put enough detail that when you read it again in your drafts, you’re able to picture it perfectly in your mind. i usually stumble upon some ig reels about certain sceneries or museums and i save them so i can look back and put it in my works !!

whatever you can picture in your mind after reading whatever you wrote, that’s when you know you have made enough detail that is acceptable (although all of it is) !!!

that’s quite literally what i do when i write !!! hope this helps in any sort of ways and if you have any other questions you can absolutely send in an ask or direct messaging me!! ☺️☺️ hope u have fun writing !!

[autismus-obscurus]

On self-dx

A while ago, someone asked me privately to tell them why I was clearly pro self-dx. It's a question I have seen a lot. It's a complex topic and there's a lot of misconceptions about what self-dx even is. Here's a slightly adapted version of my answer (under a cut so I don’t clog your dash). If anyone else has something to add, please do.

Also, TW: swearing. Sorry not sorry, It's just how I talk.

First off, we have to define what self-dx even is. Self dx is NOT googling "autism symptoms", reading one list, and the deciding "oh I'm autistic, lets go beg for pity". I can't speak for all autistics, but I don't fucking want pity. That's not the point of saying you're autistic. I just want to live without constant overload, okay? Lets go a bit more into detail: I’m very clearly pro self-dx, but I will not take someone seriously who takes one test and reads one blog post and then decides “I’m autistic.” That’s not how this works. Self-dx means hours upon hours of reading blogs, of reading articles, of checking the criteria again and again (cynically said, you're checking off a list, we'll get to that again later on), of asking autistics about every tiny trait you suspect could point towards or against it, of self doubt, of hope, of finding autistics spreading positivity or Autism Speaks / Autism Moms(TM) telling you you’re a monster. It’s emotionally draining as fuck. Self-dx is a search for identity. It’s trying to find out why your life is the way it is, why you are a certain way and how to cope with problems in a way that doesn’t do any more damage.

This line of thought goes in hand with another tumblr thing: Many people shit on self-dx because there's this nearly immortal assumption that people self-dx because it’s “cool” to be mentally ill. It’s not. Admittedly, teenagers are fucking weird and maybe some genuinely think they are ill when they are not, but I'm convinced that is the minority at best. Also, when we get to the point of preteneding to be sick that’s a legitimate disorder in itself. (Münchhausen or imposter’s syndrome. I've heard it called pathological lying, but that's quite a bit different and also a disorder that people cannot control and need help for.)

Let's look at a few statistics. In Europe 30% of people are officially diagnosed with a disorder under the ICD-10 / DSM-V. 75% of mental disorders start in adolescence (according to a German survey, BGS 98; here's also a link to the offical WHO page with statistics: HERE). The survey does not include those who are too ashamed to get help, who have no access to help, who are just not taken serious or have to fear abuse if it becomes known. Autism is not a mental disorder, obviously, but the staggering majority of autistics in the past was diagnosed as a child and face many of the same problems. (I’ll get to why the diagnosis age is a problem for autistic people in general in a second.) Now imagine finding a community of people who understand you, who can give you actually helpful tips, and you don’t have to reveal your identity. Anything classified as abnormal is still a taboo. People don’t believe you or make jokes about you. Example: I had to fight for an autism diagnosis because my dad, and I quote, says “there is nothing wrong with you”. No, there’s not, but I’m still autistic. That’s the mindset people apply to any neurodivergence. As to the matter of why so many people on the internet claim to be neurodivergent / mentally ill, I have a theory of my own. I can’t prove it, but it makes sense for me. Many neurodivergencies make it hard to go out. I’m introverted as hell, and often don't have the spoons to go out. So what do I do? I spend my life at home, browsing the internet. It takes me so much less effort to keep contact with people than if I had to go out and meet them. No sensory overload, nothing unexpected will happen. Meanwhile, the healthy people and extroverts are out and about having fun their own way. And, coming back to the community, on here it’s a lot easier to express your thoughts, especially on taboo topics.

Example: I think reading this text we can agree that my English (my second language) is reasonably good and that I’m a logical, intelligent person that can express arguments in an ordered manner. Right? Well, if you would be talking to me face to face, I would probably not make a whole lot of sense. I stutter, I lose trains of thoughts, I fall over my vocabulary, my pronunciation is often wobbly and then I will inevitably panic and make even less sense (this goes for talking in my L1 as well, in case anyone wonders). I’m not dumb, but face to face communication is hard.

Next up, the issue with psychologists and getting diagnosed. There is this pervasive notion that pschologists are The Authority (TM) who know everything and nobody else can be as good as them. Here's the thing: Psychologists are human. They’re not omniscient. And sometimes those psychologists are just shit. They can be sexist, and racist, and narcissistic. They can be condescending, and unable to admit they doN't know enough about a topic, and flat out ignore new evidence because it doesn’t fit their worldview. Go in the actuallyautistic tag. The amount of people who are dismissed by their therapists because this so called professional “has a feeling” they’re not autistic is ridiculous. Feelings don’t matter. Only the diagnostic interview matters, but the patients are denied that because a psychologist trusts his gut more than science. Without a decent self-dx it will be pretty hard to get diagnosed as a teenager or adult. On top of that, once you have learned to pass, autistic traits get lost or suppressed for fear of punishment. Often you have to convince them to test you with a detailed list that describes how you fit the DSM criteria. Which is by definition already a self-dx. "Oh, but psychologist are trained for that, surely they know!!!!!11!" I’m a psychology student. I just got an A in my clinical psychology class. I'll write my thesis in clinical psychology probably. The amount of diagnoses you have to learn does not allow to go in depth of anything. What a psychologist does is listen to you and check boxes on a list. (Sound familiar? I said we'd get there again.) We didn't even talk about autism. I did a presentation on it, found out my course teacher doesn't even know ABA is harmful (his point was "well the literature says it's effective"; Are You Kidding?). Our paedagogy prof spewed some ableist phrases pitying her friend that has an autistic kid. The perks of being an undercover autistic person :))) (That's sarcasm.)

To get back to the point: An ableist at worst, at best uneducated psychologist decides if you’re autistic, solely on what they have been told. The amount of posts that goes "I was denied diagnosis because I have good grades / are a girl / have friends / can talk" is ridiculous.

Example: I was in therapy three times until I was fifteen and NONE of them got the idea I might be autistic, despite me showing pretty severe symptoms. I had to self-dx and then convince my therapist to test me. I only even got that idea because we watched Rain Man in school. Seriously? Who knows you better: You or a psychologist you know for an hour?

Okay, before I get carried off, all of that assumes you actually get as far as being tested. To get there, it requires parents to listen to their kid. Parents typically don’t want anything to be wrong with their kid. (There’s nothing wrong with being autistic, but too many people still think that.)

Example: My dad still doesn’t believe I’m autistic. My diagnosis was four years ago. Because, I quote, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” No there’s not, but that doesn’t make me allistic.

The amount of stereotypes and ableist myths is staggering. Autism is one of the most misunderstood conditions I’ve ever researched. The DSM criteria are shit. They are, since decades, based on boys. They’re very limited, and while not wrong, describe things in a way that makes it hard for people to find "atypical" examples (stereotypical interests = trains). What about girls obsessed with horses? Nobody thinks that’s abnormal, yet it’s very possible. There are still a ton of people who think girls cannot be autistic, or if they are, to use the ableist principles this idea is founded on, they have to be “low-functioning”. The truth is, even the diagnostic interviews can’t pick up on autistic girls very well, that is a known fact. (Look at this link for example: HERE) I have most of those posts tagged either as info or ableism, but I don't have the spoons to check right now and my internet is shit.) To paraphrase the article and the other sources I know: Most autistic females just fly under the radar because they’re better at adapting and hiding it. That doesn’t have to be a conscious effort, but it’s exhausting, and then you sit there as a teenager and wonder why you’re feeling like shit because you never learned healthy autistic coping machanisms (or got punished for them).

Example: I didn’t learn of stimming, of dyspraxia, of sensory processing issue and literally everything that had defined my daily life until I found the autsitic community. I don’t think my therapist ever heard of that and I was labeled too “high-functioning” to actually get help. I managed, and back then I was fine, or thought I was after the depression wore off. I’m paying the price for that now.

People of color and women are severely mis- and underdiagnosed in literally everything medical. Teenagers are very rarely taken seriously, especially girls. Some people don’t believe autism exists at all. Now, assume somebody has understanding parents or teachers or is an adult, and could, thoretically go to a doctor to get diagnosed. Because (paraphrasing the original ask here) by validating self-dx we only push the notiion that you don't need a doctor to be diagnosed (which is again the Autority Lane (TM)). Well, yes, it would be preferable to get an official diagnosis, for the accomodations alone, but there is a shitton of reasons not to.

Example: I am currently undiagnosed. How so? My therapist made a deal with my parents that we would not write down the diagnosis, to prevent it from bringing me trouble. At first I was like “that’s ableist bullshit”. It’s not. Well, it still involves a lot of ableism, but there are a lot of reasons why I have to weigh if getting a diagnosis is worth it, even though I clearly need the help right now.

Here is a list of good reasons why someone could choose not to get professionally diagnosed:

money (in Germany healthcare is mostly free, but in the US getting a diagnosis can cost several thousand dollar)

autistic people are at a much higher risk of abuse, and don’t get taken as seriously (see ABA therapy and Autism Moms)

With an autism diagnosis you can be instituationalized far easier against your will (that works with almost all mental diagnoses)

In Germany you will have a harder time getting an insurance, they will make you pay more and don’t provide certain services e.g. You want an insurance for when you become unable to work, you know, like almost everyone has? Yeah, forget about it, autistic people don’t get that.

It can be used against you when you get in a fight about your kids’ custody

Medical ableism is a thing. You can have everything from a cold to cancer, from depression to borderline, it’s all The Autism. Autistic people are often seen as not having enough insight into their own body and mind to judge their own body (just like women, so as an autistic woman you're fucked twice as much :))) )

Getting a job outside of “supportive” businesses (read: they want Rain Man. They’re IT businesses who want autistic programmers and engineers, everyone else is pretty much fucked.) will be almost impossible. Autism is a disability and nobody wants disabled people past what the necessary quota is.

In the psych field there are no officially diagnosed people I know of, one researcher’s work was discredited when it came out she was autistic. I was already warned several times that I should hide my autism if I wanted to get a job at all.

basically, people are shit and can and will use your diagnosis against you

Lastly, I don’t really understand why people are so hateful towards the self-dx crowd. I can’t prove that there’s no black sheep, but most of them are people who look to improve their lives and better their mental health. Let’s put it like this:

The anti-self dx crowd: Only psychologists can tell if you’re autistic. Self-dx: I think I’m autistic. Antis: How dare you! I can clearly tell you’re not autistic. Fuck off, faker.

Call me cynic, but that is the core of reason most anti-self-dxers apply. Who the hell gave them the authority to judge other people? How do you know what a person is going through from reading two posts on tumblr? This isn’t some elite club. That kind of thinking ostracizes us even more when we alread have to fight so hard to be allwoed to live. Who are the self-dxers hurting? The ableists treat us like shit anyway. And honestly? I’d rather let in five fakers than have an autistic person suffer alone because of they can’t “prove” they’re autistic.

Dev out.

[define-fluorescent]

A guide to my tags:

Hello new followers!!!! I see a bunch of new faces so hello and welcome to my blog. I tag things thoroughly and often for the most part, and try to give as many general content warnings that I can think of. I try to keep my blog as a resource for myself on topics of progressivism, so if you ever need any resources, I make it pretty easy to rifle through or send an ask and I can point you in the right direction. If you have a content warning you want me to look out for and tag appropriately, I have no problem doing so, just give me a shout. Here are some of my more personal tags if you ever see them and are confused:

If you want to browse the funny shit that I leave for my boyfriend to find when he’s bored and wants to check my tumblr, go through my for-me tag.

If you’re looking for a kick-in-the-teeth experience about unrequited love, visit my 5-years tag. (Been more like 7 years, but too lazy to change it)

If you want to get to know me a bit better, I have a me tag for funnier or interesting things, and personal for the sadder things. Pretty words is great too.

I’m also an illustrator and every once in a while post my art to tumblr, though I try to keep my name off of here as much as possible.

Disability, mental health, and chronic illness are p important topics to me, so those tags are frequently updated if you can relate to those. Cdnpoli is important too. Like, as a canadian, y’know.

Anyway always feel free to say hi~*~ enjoy your day and happy blogging