#but even then….. i know i know in my heart of hearts i am just a boring little kitty. nothing interesting whatsoever
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So a few days ago I got a comment on one of my stories. It was not the worst comment I have ever gotten but it was not nice either. I found it rude, demanding, and condescending. I confess, my reply to this comment was snarky and sarcastic.
I then got a reply from the poster claiming they were very blunt due to being neurodivergent and that they could not help it. They just wanted me to write them a story. I had ruined their good opinion of me.
I wrote back apologizing for hurting their feelings. I explained they had also hurt my feelings and that my response was partially in response to that, partially because I know who comments like that affect authors. That we work hard on our stories. I pointed out they had not even said they liked my story. I gave them advice on how they could have phrased their comment instead that would have made it less offensive to the author. At this point I was going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah no, they sent another response calling it victim blaming and cyber bullying. The victim blaming was pointed out solely in response to the first line they said which was 'I am sorry your feelings were hurt' Also got an accusation of name calling, which no I did not. At this point I am just going to delete their comments and block them.
For people who consider themselves to be blunt but want to consider the author's feelings as well, here is some comment advice. The comment I received that started this was 0/4.
Tell the author you liked their story. You can put details or even just a line of heart emojis. If you did not like the story, silence is golden. Please use the back button.
Do not be demanding. We are not machines. Something like, 'I can't wait to see what happens' next is fine 'UPDATE' is not
It is fine to share ideas, but just like in 2. do not be demanding. Unless the author has asked for prompts, do not have expectations
Unless an author has asked for it, no constructive criticism. It is fiction, let the author write what they want.
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NOT STRONG ENOUGH
summary: you got injured whilst on the job and spencer isn’t to pleased (post!maeve)
pairings: grumpy!spencer reid x sunshine!reader
genre: hurt/comfort?
warnings: mentions of maeve’s death, and canon complicit violence
authors note: i saw someone in the spencer reid tag ask about a fic like this and it gave me inspiration to write my own!!
you hadn’t noticed the tight grip spencer had on the steering wheel when he drove you and him home, nor did you notice his face; if looks could kill, the car that was driving extra slow in front of the two of you would’ve spontaneously combusted.
however you did notice, the slam of his door as he got out the car, his clenched jaw and avoidant gaze as he helped you out, with your broken leg and crutches.
you were used to spencer’s grumpiness, he’d had such a pessimistic view on life, and you didn’t know if it was the optimist in you, or the young naivety, but you had always thought you could fix him.
you had grown to fall in love with spencer in all his grumpiness.
you enjoyed getting to kiss away his angry pout and massage his scalp as he grumbled about how awful his day was.
you enjoyed getting to listen to his rants and just smile and kiss him and take all his problems away, being his source of comfort, like he was yours.
you always loved how even though he was so grumpy, he managed to reserve some sweetness for you, it made you feel so loved, so seen.
spencer on the other hand couldn’t believe he managed to have you as his girlfriend, after maeve, he wasn’t sure he was made for love, it wasn’t meant for him.
but you were meant for him.
he was immediately taken aback by you, the new intern at the bau, so bright and happy, he’d wondered what someone like you was doing at a job like this. someone so young, so happy, so optimistic.
he remembered thinking about how this job would tear you in half, like it did him.
he vowed not to let that happen.
but as he watched, helplessly as you tackled the unsub to the ground, and getting into a literal tussle, he was filled with so much anger, at the unsub, but mainly at himself.
he knew when he was new, he wanted to do his best to stop the bad guys, even if it meant putting himself in danger, he knew the sings of a reckless intern.
why didn’t he stop it.
now you were half black and blue, and walking around the house, well, less walking, more being carried around by spencer, and he really just wanted to scream.
“that was so stupid, you know that.”
you blink, the food on your for you were about to shovel into your mouth forgotten. “i’m sorry?” you say confused, dropping the fork, it clattered loudly against the plate.
“that stunt you pulled.” he gritted his teeth. “i mean, what were you thinking, that you were gonna save the day?” spencer asked, tilting his head in such a way that made you feel taunted.
almost, belittled.
“i was thinking about that girl.” you say, brows furrowing, “and how nobody was doing anything, we were just standing there waiting, negotiating, i saw an opportunity and i took it, the girl is safe now and he’s going to be locked up for the rest of his life.”
“you’re not a hero.” spencer scoffed. “you got lucky, what would you have done if you died out there?”
“nothing, because i’d be dead.” you say, as nice and as kind as you were, you had a quick mouth and it drove spencer insane. “what’s up with you, why are you so upset over this.”
“upset!” he slammed his fist against the table standing up, causing you to flinch, and some cutlery to fall on the floor, your heart thumped in your chest, you weren’t scared of spencer, you had faith he would never hurt you, but he’d never been thing angry with you before.
“i am not upset.” he spits out. “i am enraged at how after all this.. after, me, you could still go out there and risk your life like that! after all i’ve done to protect you!”
“protect me..” you stare at him through a glare standing up yourself. “i chose this job, spence, i chose this profession, i knew what came with it, and i do not need to be protected!”
spencer’s chest heaved as he stared at you, in silence.
“i-” you huff. “i knew the risks that came with the job spencer, and out in that field, i knew what i was risking, but it’s my life spencer. i’m perfectly aware of what i am doing.”
spencer closed his eyes and heaved out a long breath, pinching his nose. “you don’t get to make reckless decisions like that!” he screams clenching his fists. “not when it comes to your life.” he whispered softly, slowly sitting back in seat, as if he’d folded completely.
“i don’t know what i’d do if i lost you..” he says, licking his lips. “when.. when you think about losing someone you love, you can’t imagine it, what it would be like, but i can, because i have, i have lost someone, multiple people.” he says.
“in that moment, when i watched you tackle.. tackle that guy.” he squeezes his eyes shut, tears threatening to spill, as you watch him intensely. “i knew what it would be like spend the rest of my life without you, and i don’t think i’m strong enough to come to terms with that.”
spencer’s admission makes your chest hurt, it never occurred to you what something like taking a risk could do to him. spencer already had lost a lot, and you didn’t want to become a reason he loses another.
you step forward nudging his chin so his eyes were looking up into yours, his cheeks were wet with tears, and for the first time you didn’t see a grumpy man, a pessimistic man, you saw a man who’d had his heart broken far too often.
you gently stroke his cheek. “hey, i’m not going anywhere anytime soon, i’m an intern, today was just an off day.” i raise my brows. “i doubt i will be allowed in the field for a long time.”
he smiled, his eyes still red from tears. “i know you love your job, and i won’t try and stop you from doing it, but please, be careful, if not for you, then for me.”
“i’d do anything for you.” you say, kissing him on the lips. “i’ll be careful for you.”
#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic
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homesick
a cowboy like me one shot
oh, i missed these two. here's a little check-in on my favorite morally irresponsible outlaws.
pairing: dbf!joel miller x fem!reader
summary: you spend the weekend back home in austin with joel.
warnings: age gap (early 20s/late 40s), twinge of angst, piv sex in the shower (beware of slippage). you know the drill with these two. part of the cowboy like me universe, but can probably be enjoyed as a standalone.
word count: 6.3k
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🧡
“This is Joel Miller. I can’t come to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll get back to ya.”
You wait for the beep, pacing along a wall of steel cylinders. The laundromat is stifling, the machines’ drumming deafening. It’s eighty-something degrees out, and it’s only six o’clock.
“Pick up, Miller. Hello? Hello? I know you’re there. Can’t come to the –” you clear your throat, strum the twang in your vocal cords, “– Can’t come to the ph-owww-ne right n–”
The line clicks as he picks the handset up.
“Did you call just to make fun of me, kid?”
You halt, spinning on your heel. “So you were screening me?”
He scoffs. “Didn’t notice the time. I’ve been out back with Tommy.”
“Oh,” you mellow, tongue curling around your ice cream, “We don’t have to call right now, you know. I’m just doing laundry.”
“It is six there, right?”
“Yeah, but don’t let me keep you. Go hang with your brother.”
Joel sighs as he sinks back into his couch. “Keep me. He knows you were calling tonight. He’s probably outside fraternizing with the neighbor, anyway. Won’t even notice I’m gone. Laundry, huh?”
“Mhm.” You suckle on the lip of the waffle cone. “It’s a beautiful night, and I’m stuck being force-fed Mötley Crüe and watching a steel drum shred my panties.”
“Sounds like a good time to me.”
“Enough, cowboy.”
“I like Mötley Crüe,” he chuckles. “They got some hits under their belt.”
“Name five.”
“Five,” he says. “You’re asking a lot there, darlin’.”
“Of Mötley Crüe or of your memory, old man?”
Joel hums. “Should’ve seen that one coming, baby.”
You boost yourself up onto one of the dryers, swinging your legs. If there were anyone else in the laundromat, you’d care to hide your fluster – but you’re here on your own, and the man just melts you. All girlish and giggly, you feel his words swirl around your stomach like sweet honey.
“Tell me about your day,” you say, covering the flutter in your voice with another mouthful of ice cream.
“Well,” Joel says, “weather’s fine, work’s fine. Almost done with that renovation for your favorite clients.”
You gasp. “The old couple with the cats?”
He grumbles. “That’s them. They still hate me, by the way.”
“The couple, or the cats?”
“…Jury’s out.”
You snicker.
“Then, uh, I called Sarah, had some dinner, and now here I am talkin’ to you.”
“Hm. I’m your favorite part, right? I’m your favorite part of today?”
Joel pauses, breathing for a moment. Slow, quiet, but sure, he says: “You’re my favorite part of every day.”
The smile on your face cracks, crumbles into something more pained. Your heart sinks.
It’s been three months since you were last home. Technically, it’s been seven weeks since you were in Austin – but Joel was out of town for the weekend, and you spent four days cleaning your dad’s gutter and watching westerns.
It’s been three months since you were last in Joel’s arms. In his house, in his clothes, in his bed. Three months since you heard his voice not through the crackle of a thousand miles apart; since you smelled him on your skin, not on the flannels you’ve stolen from him.
Three long, tough months.
And it means nothing, anyway. All this missing each other. So you tell yourselves, and so you tell everyone else. You’re not together, you’re not committed. You’ve been seeing other people, so has Joel – even if he’s only been on two dates in the nine months since you moved away.
Spending a casual weekend together here and there is enough to get you by. It’s easier this way, right? It’s cleaner. There are no crossed wires, no strings at risk of becoming tangled.
Only – your entire relationship is woven in tangled strings. Messy, knotted, twisted around your fingers and threaded through your ribs. A summer’s worth of weaving yourselves closer and closer together, only to be pulled apart come fall.
It didn’t take long to prove that when a knot is pulled, it only binds tighter.
It only binds sorer.
“Anyway,” Joel says, “your turn. How was your day?”
You gulp, slipping down from the dryer to check on your wash. If you speak, you’ll break, and if you break, you’ll sob.
“Baby? You still there?”
“Yep,” you croak. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve and shake your head. “I – uh…Yeah, my day was fine.”
The line quietens.
“You sure? Everything okay at work?”
Your reflection blinks back at you in the window of the machine, warped and molten. She opens her mouth and replies, “All good.”
He can read you even three states apart. “Let me call you back. Hold on.”
The call disconnects before you can protest. Over your shoulder, another regular shuffles into the laundromat.
She smiles, skin supple and sun-spotted, looking but not looking you in the eye. She slides her full basket over one of the machines on the other side of the room, and tosses her clothes into the drum.
When your phone vibrates again, you pass by her and out onto the street.
Joel’s pixelated living room stretches across your screen.
“Joel,” you sniff, “Joel, it’s –”
“Can you see me?”
“No, you gotta flip your –”
“…never know why the damn thing don’t –”
“The button with the arrows. The camera button, Joel, it’s –”
His coffee table flips, and in place – straight, dark brows drawn tight in a frown. Crows feet, scar across the bridge of his nose. Peppered hair a little longer than the last time you called, beard a little thicker.
The only person in the world who can weaken your knees and splinter your chest, in one fleeting glance.
“Hi, baby girl,” he whispers, expression softening. “Look at you.”
You slump against the warm wall, sliding down. One sight of him, and your knees give. “Oh, my God, I miss you today.”
Joel laughs. His head cocks, smirk tugging at his lips. “I miss you every day.”
“Yeah, that’s – that’s what I…” you sigh, “…That’s what I meant. It’s just – some days, you feel a little further away.”
“Today one of those days?”
You nod. A car soars by, whipping hot air from the road which pours over your bare legs. “It’s just…been a day. That’s all.”
“We can talk about it, if you want. You’re hell of a lot smarter than me, darlin’, but I’ve had my share of bad days before. Never does any harm to get it off your chest.”
He smiles. It breaks your heart.
He works ten hours straight, some days. Out at the crack of dawn, home with only enough time and energy to nuke something in the microwave. Somewhere amongst that, he fits in beers with Tommy and ridiculous DIY jobs your dad elicits his help for.
And still – he sets aside an hour or two every few nights, specially for you. He collapses into his couch, decaf in his mug, and puts the world to rights with you on the other end of the phone.
The meaningless work dramas, the paper building up on your desk. The commute, for the love of God – the traffic jams you swear will one day be the death of you. The last thing Joel needs is to listen to your problems on end, and you tell him so.
“Bullshit,” he replies. He shakes his head, takes a sip of his beer. “I asked, didn’t I? Talk to me. Tell me what’s goin’ on.”
You groan. “I just…I wish I could turn my brain off. Just for a little while. No meetings, no call times. No helping my dad trim the trees in the yard when I’m home for the weekend.”
He laughs. “He rope you into that one too, huh?”
“Sure did.” You tense your fist, wince at the memory of splinters you were still plucking from your palm even weeks later.
“I got nothing to complain about,” you tell Joel, “I know that. This job is…it’s right where I want to be. Just – sometimes, I miss being back in Austin, following you around Costco and hiding from my dad. It’s like life was simpler then.”
Joel chokes. “I guarantee you,” he coughs, thumping his chest clear of beer, “life was not simpler. Not by a long shot. Goddamn.”
He swings to his feet and wanders across the room to his kitchen. Past his armchair, past the guitar mounted on the wall. Past the dining chair he always hangs his coat from. You know the anatomy of his home better than your own, it feels like.
You sure as hell miss it more than your own.
“Lemme see…” Joel squints over his phone. He leans over his kitchen counter. “What’s next weekend look like for you?”
You shrug. “My weekend off.”
“Nothing planned?”
“Nothing yet.”
He nods. “I’m meeting a supplier on Saturday afternoon, but if you can stand to be without me for a few hours, then…”
His eyebrows lift.
So do yours. “Then…?”
“I can look at flights,” Joel says, “get you booked tonight. Pick you up Friday, drop you off Sunday. Spend the whole weekend with your brain shut off, if that’s what you’re lookin’ for.”
A wave of warmth floods through your chest. Relief, maybe – or simple adoration for the man on the other end of the phone. Most likely, the way it always seems with Joel, it’s both at once.
He loves you. Enough to break every rule in the book. To go behind his best friend’s back for an entire summer. He loves you enough to let you go, watch you follow your wildest dreams, and then be the safety net at the end of each long day, each hard night.
He loves you enough to scratch everything off his calendar for a few days, just to make sure you’re okay. Just to hold you in his arms, heart beating a rhythm he knows better than his own. Just to sing you to sleep, and wake you up with burnt toast and runny eggs.
You pull the collar of your shirt over your nose and weep into the material. “I ever tell you how much I love you?”
He smiles. “Not half as much as I love you.”
“Gross.”
“I know.”
The laundromat door flings open.
Face now flushed and hair scraped back, the woman clocks you immediately and throws a pointed finger in your direction. “Are you coming to get your panties or what, little girl?”
She clicks her teeth and disappears again. The blind hanging over the door rattles with the force it slams closed.
“Guess that’s my cue,” you whisper, heaving to your feet. “Better go get my panties.”
“Why?” Joel’s making his way back outside. “Ain’t like you’re gonna need ‘em.”
You scoff. “Talk later, cowboy.”
Austin welcomes you back with a delayed flight, a screaming seatmate, and a raging headache.
The airport is busy. Loud busy. All chittering couples, hordes of kids with nauseatingly bright backpacks. You drag your suitcase through to arrivals, careful not to trip over the wheels of the stroller ahead.
When you spot his tall, dark figure weaving between bodies, the gate hushes. You move towards him by instinct, parting the crowd as you go. The magnet in your chest senses its partner drawing nearer, and nearer, and nearer.
And nearer, until he’s reaching out. He’s close enough that his hands land on your waist, and it’s the first time in three months that you’ve felt this weight – his weight, the way only he feels – all around you.
Joel pulls you in to his chest. He locks you in, resting his chin on your head.
“Hi, honey.”
You inhale his scent, breathe in the comfort of him. “Hi,” you exhale.
Tears prickle at your eyes. It feels stupid. He looks down at you, thumb swiping across your cheek, and a salty droplet spills.
“How was the flight?” he asks.
“Good.”
“You okay?”
“Perfect, now.”
“You look perfect,” Joel grins, “Look like the sun.”
And you could swat him away, could shrug him and his flirting off. The sun sure as hell doesn’t look stewed in three-hour plane, too tired to move and too clingy to unhook from her dad’s best friend’s arm.
But that’s not what he’s saying, is it?
You do look different. You feel different. You feel brand new. Golden – just like the sun.
These days, it feels like there are two versions of you. One, you’ve spent the better part of a year polishing off – electric and vibrant, eyes wide and head spinning, moving through her day like gliding on air and then collapsing in a heap come nightfall. Chaos with a clipboard and call sheet.
And the other – slower. Steadier. Surer on her feet, simpler in her ways. Dust under her heels and a Texan shine in her smile. Honeylike; moving where her body tells her to go, drinking up the world as she pleases.
There’s a moment, stood under the fluorescent lights of the terminal, where you feel the first give way to the second. Safe now, in Joel’s arms, to slip back into her old, worn boots and shutter her mind – even just for this weekend.
“Come on,” he whispers, wrapping his hand around yours. “Let’s get you home.”
And there never seemed like a better idea than that.
He keeps your things in his shower caddy.
Bottom basket, strictly yours. Shampoo and conditioner and bodywash and a loofah, all exactly where you left them last time you were here. He says it as he cranks the handle, holds his palm under the flow until it’s just right.
“The strawberry stuff…?” Joel nods to the bottle, face screwed.
You gasp. “You don’t like it?”
He shakes his head. “Like it on you. I smelled like a fruit farm for a week, baby.”
“Makes a change from wood trimmings,” you mutter, peeling the shirt from your chest.
Joel glares over his shoulder. “You wanna say that a little louder?”
“No, sir,” you whisper, and step into the cubicle.
The water pours over your head and down your spine, breathing life back into your body. You close your eyes and let it wash down your face. LA feels so distant, so lost to the steam and serenity in Joel’s ensuite.
He lingers in the doorway, watching as you turn under the shower. He smiles when you hold your hand out and flick your fingers.
“Soap, please.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he says, dropping it in your palm.
You slip the velvety bar over your skin. The soap lathers in thick, milky bubbles, cascading over your chest down to your hips. Your hands lift from your navel to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples between soft fingers.
Joel’s jaw ticks. He crosses his arms, shoulders tensing. “Easy, darlin’. Dancing with the devil here.”
It burns low in your stomach.
You pass him the bar back. “Maybe I want to dance,” you murmur. “Maybe he does, too.”
His eyebrows lift. “Maybe he does,” he agrees. He trades the soap for shampoo, tapping the bottle against your hip.
The heat grows under your skin. Having him watch, his close eye on you as you wash the suds from your hair and slick bodywash over your skin.
His eyes drift from your chest to your waist, looping up to your soaked eyelashes and dripping bottom lip, diving again between your legs.
Hungry. Starved, even.
Three months of secret photos and sexy phone calls to get you both by. Three months of imagining you, fist around his cock in the dead of night, coating his stomach just with the thought of you.
And right here, right now, in his shower: the real thing. The forbidden fruit. Body hot and skin soaked, just as desperate as he is. Just as needy.
You step forward, reaching for his shoulders. Arms around his neck, dampening the collar of his shirt, you pull him closer.
“Dance with me,” you whisper against his lips, stealing a kiss.
Joel’s gaze darkens. He takes your jaw and tilts your head back. Voice like thunder rolling over you, he warns, “I told someone we’d be somewhere.”
You smile, tugging on the hem of his shirt. “We’re running late. Something’s come up.”
His arms lift and you pull the cotton over his head, tossing it to the floor. He’s the same solid sculpture as always. Strong and wide, torso scattered with hair which thickens across the span of his chest.
He rids himself of his boots and jeans, kicks his underwear off, and joins you under the water. So big that he corners you, so tall that he has to adjust the showerhead.
Pressed up against your body; warm, manly scent raining over you. He’s hard, tucked right by your hip, rutting gently as he steals kiss after kiss.
He’s addicted to it. To you. Has been ever since that first night, the first taste of poison. Has been, probably, since that first glimpse of you last summer. For all the wrong reasons and in all the wrong ways, for better or worse –
You break him open. You make him weak.
Joel groans when you wrap your hand around him. That familiar weight in your grasp. He glances down to watch your slow strokes, fighting back a filthy smile.
“Missed you,” he breathes, voice lost to the patter of the shower. He slips a hand between your legs. “Ain’t gonna last long, are you?”
“Fuck,” you hiss, grinding into his palm. You toy with his bottom lip, nipping at the edges of his smirk. “We got all weekend. Just – just fuck me.”
He hikes your leg over his hip and lines up. A blooming ache when he notches at your hole, tip teasing your entrance.
Your back curls. You wrap your arms around Joel’s neck, whimpering into his chest.
“’s alright,” he kisses your neck, “Just take it nice ‘n slow. Get her used to me again, baby.”
He pushes inside, two heavy hands on your waist. Always in control, always easing you in. He holds you delicately, moving inch by inch, watching the twist of your brow and bite of your lip before sinking in further.
He reaches up and tilts the downpour to the wall. Lifts your fragile body, split in two on his cock, and pushes you against the tile.
Your cunt aches as he slides out. She clamps around his tip. It hurts – but you don’t want to let him go.
“Stay,” you cry, nails digging into his shoulders. “Stay inside me.”
He hums and presses his lips to the hinge of your jaw. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere, baby. I’m right here.”
His hips move forward. Your cunt opens for him the deeper he moves. Like welcoming him home, remembering the way it feels to be this full. The stretch of taking him, the air stolen from your lungs. The love you can never find the beginning nor the end of.
And then he’s moving quicker, sharper, one arm wrapped around your neck to cradle your head. Hips snapping against yours, slowing to a roll when you yelp.
Whispering sweet nothings in your ear – how good you’re taking him, how tight she is. How much he’s missed this, missed her, missed you. Never wants to let you go, never wants to be anywhere except right here, feeding you his cock and watching you come undone.
“Made for me, huh?” Joel grunts. He presses his forehead to yours and slips the words across your tongue. “All mine.”
“All yours,” you echo, weeping under him. The flame catches and curls around your stomach.
The missing piece to the last nine months. The dead-end dates, the hazy hookups. Awkward good mornings, and goodbyes that never seem to come quick enough. Sneaking off home to shower the scent of it away, to replace it with something sweeter.
Him.
Because none of them are him.
They don’t make you laugh and they don’t make you come. They don’t see you, don’t hang on your every word. They don’t – they can’t break your world apart and paint it something new. They don’t know your every move, don’t understand the most fleeting glances.
You could spend forever circling every bar and every diner; what do you do for work and where did you grow up. You could chase the tail of every flannel shirt, search all over for that twinkle in his eye.
They’re not him. They’ll never be him.
Joel coaxes you where he needs you. He fucks you until you’re quivering in his arms, head rolling across his shoulder. His thrusts begin to stall, breathing turns to panting, teeth sink into any part of your skin he can find.
He moans into your neck. The sound nudges you towards the edge.
“I’m close, baby,” he grits, “’m so close.”
You look up at him through tear-soaked eyes.
Three months. Since the last time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you like this. Since the last time he lost control, came deeper inside than anyone before, or anyone since.
Three months since the last time you held him in your hands, lined your lips with his, and begged him to stay in you.
Joel laughs. “Dangerous little game, darlin’.”
But he’s fading. He’s falling under, same as you are.
You want it. You need it. Need to be full of him – that ache when you walk, the warmth leaking down the inseam of your thighs. The feeling of being his, all his; ruined and wrecked in the sweetest way.
“Stay – inside,” you plead. “I want you to – want it so bad.”
“Keep begging, honey. Sound so cute when you’re desperate.”
“Please, Joel,” it’s getting harder to hold, “Just wanna feel you in me –”
“I know, I know,” he shushes.
You tense in his arms, gasping. “I’m gonna – come –”
“So,” Joel smirks, “come.”
And it snaps.
You scream into his chest. Your climax pulls you under, drowns you in a heavy wave of pleasure. Your hips lock, legs clamp around his waist as you cry out.
He plants a hand flat against the tile to steady himself. He holds you still as his own orgasm rolls through, pumping your swollen cunt with each rush of warm release.
You collapse against his body, bubbling and mumbling something incoherent.
He hears you, though.
He shuts the water off and rocks you back and forth. His cock slips from between your legs. “Shh, shh,” lips to your temple, “’s my girl. Such a good girl, baby. So good for me.”
You hum in response and pull yourself upright. You trace the shape of his beard, soaking wet and soft under your touch, following the droplets of water to his chin.
He kisses the tips of your fingers. “I love you,” he says. Chants it like a prayer, leaning closer and closer until his lips are against yours. “Love you more ‘n anything.”
You giggle. “You’re tickling me.”
Joel nuzzles his nose into your neck. He wriggles his fingers under your ribcage. “Can’t get enough of you,” his tongue swipes across your hot skin, “Swear to God, baby, you’re killing me.”
“Joel,” your head falls back with a clap of laughter, “Joel, stop – oh, my God, you have to stop, please – Joel!”
He hoists you onto his hips and turns. Hands still exploring, still pinching and squeezing everywhere they shouldn’t be, he carries you out to his bedroom and drops you onto the mattress.
“Here,” he chuckles, wrapping a towel around your body. He knots it over your chest and rubs your waist, before flopping down onto the bed with a sigh.
You roll over on top of him and fix the dripping hair from his forehead. “Missed you,” you whisper, trailing kisses along his collarbone.
He smiles. His heart flutters beneath yours. “Missed you more,” he says.
His semen drips between your legs. He’s softening against the inside of your thigh. The bed is soaked, sheets that’ll need changed before you sleep tonight. You’re tired, spent, pussy throbbing from the loss of him – and it’s all so perfect.
Being here, with him. Seeing him, feeling him on your body. In your body, for crying out loud. Holding him, kissing him, loving him up close.
It’s fucking perfect.
“What are we running late for?” you ask.
Joel’s eyes flutter open. He cocks his head, frowning.
“You said we had somewhere to be,” you clarify.
“Oh,” he winces, “Uh, your dad’s. He’s havin’ us for dinner.”
“Oh,” you echo. “When is he expecting –?”
He glances at the clock. “Half hour ago.”
“Nice.” You push yourself up, slipping from his grasp. “Well, this is about to be awkward.”
Joel folds his arms behind his head. He tracks your flurried movements: lugging your bag across the floor, tearing through it for an outfit that doesn’t scream, Your best friend just fucked me senseless in his shower.
When you straighten and lift your arms, eyes wide, his lips turn.
“You said you wanted to dance, baby. I was just following orders.”
The sun filters through the leaves, breathing back and forth with the sway of the trees.
You’re horizontal in a deckchair, feet in Joel’s lap, blanket around your shoulders. Full on burgers and baseball talk; if it weren’t for your dad’s riveting conversation about his new lawnmower, you’d probably be asleep.
“Ride-on,” he tells Joel, nodding. It makes gardening a real thrill, apparently. He flicks a hand over the span of the yard. “Whole thing done in less than twenty minutes. Hank says he’s half a mind to make an investment himself.”
Joel purses his lips. He strokes your ankles soothingly. “Sounds like a good buy,” he placates.
Your dad drums on his armrests, admiring his yard some more. He mumbles something about raking the leaves, painting the fence, then – with a vigor that makes you jump, he taps your arm.
“How’s work, kiddo? Still rockin’ ‘n rollin’?”
Your eyes flash across Joel’s. The hell does that even mean?
The corner of his lip twitches. Your guess is as good as mine.
“Yep,” you lie. “Living the dream, Dad.”
Joel says nothing. He hasn’t told your dad why you came home – hasn’t even mentioned the tears outside the laundromat. Your secret is safe with him, you know that. Some puzzles are easier to figure out, the less eyes that are on them.
He hasn’t even brought it up with you yet. Granted, you’ve been home all of four hours, and a solid quarter of that time has been spent naked with him back at his place – but he’s waiting for you to make the first move.
This weekend doesn’t have to be about work. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be about you feeling homesick. It can be as simple as you hadn’t seen your dad for a few weeks, or you heard the news about the damn lawnmower and just had to pay a visit.
It’s what you’ve always loved so much about Joel. It’s what reeled you into him in the first place.
He just lets you be. No questions, no pressure, no worries. He knows you’ll figure it out – you always do. And if he knows that, then it makes you believe in it, too.
Dad sinks back into his chair with a sigh. “What’s on the cards this weekend, then?”
“Joel’s down San Antonio way tomorrow,” you yawn, “Some supplier meeting.”
“You don’t feel like a road trip?”
Your eyes roll to Joel. He’s already staring back. You cock an eyebrow, smirking into your glass.
His shoulder rolls in a shrug. “Your call, chief,” he says, tipping his drink to you.
The minute he mentioned the meeting last week, you knew you’d be tagging along. Two hours each way and an hour in between is too big a chunk of your weekend together to miss out on.
That – and you’ve missed Joel’s front-seat singing.
It doesn’t matter what you planned on doing – rolling around his bed for three days straight, driving to San Antonio and back. Hell, trimming your dad’s trees and cleaning his guttering.
As long as you’re doing it with Joel, it’s enough.
It’s what you came home for in the first place.
The drive passes quickly enough. Joel’s truck doesn’t have Bluetooth, and he only keeps three discs in his glove compartment: Don McLean’s American Pie, a Guitar Classics compilation album, and a blank disc with SARAH MILLER, SECOND GRADE scrawled in Sharpie.
He whips it from your hands when you fish it out of the compartment.
“Listen, listen to this,” Joel says, slotting it in the tray. “Found it a couple weeks ago. I listen to it when I’m drivin’ to work.”
Her squeaky, seven-year-old voice punches through the cabin. “Welcome to my presentation –” she roars into the mic, pausing when a voice picks up in the background. “Huh?” Sarah asks.
“You’re holdin’ the mic too close,” Joel murmurs, almost fourteen years younger. “Farther. Farther,” he says, and then – “Alright. Go.”
“Welcome to my presentation on Amelia E-Earhart,” she resumes, clearing her throat. “She…Oh, Daddy, we gotta restart. I forgot to tell ‘em my name.”
Joel covers his laughter with his fist, reciting it line for line. “Tommy said he’s gonna make her a copy for her birthday,” he says.
“Oh, my God. She’s gonna hate you guys, you know that, right?”
He nods. “I’m countin’ on it.”
Sarah rounds off a few facts about twentieth century air travel before Joel swaps her for the radio. He hands you the disc and you place it safely back in the glove compartment.
You curl up in the passenger seat, swinging your legs over to his lap.
He rubs your calves and glances over, smiling. “You okay over there?”
“I’m more tired than I was when I landed,” you reply, and he laughs.
You haven’t had much of a chance to catch up on sleep. The second you made it home last night, your dress was on the floor at the foot of Joel’s bed. He woke you this morning with his lips on your thighs, your underwear around your ankles.
He was midway through cooking breakfast when you floated into the kitchen to return the favor. The toast burned, the eggs shriveled to a crisp, and your knees bruised.
Fuck it, right? You’ll miss him when you’re gone. When all that’s left are the memories, and the sound of his climax through speakerphone.
An afternoon spent on the road is good recovery time, then, for all that’s waiting for you when you make it back to Joel’s tonight.
A few off-key covers of fifty number ones from the last fifty years later, you’re pulling into a barren lot headered by a beige trailer. The supplier springs out – a beefy guy with a full head of thick, white hair. He crosses the lot as Joel parks up.
Joel rounds the truck, pausing when he spots you lingering at the tailgate. He curves a hand around your neck, thumb circling over your pulse point. “You comin’?”
You twist the hem of your tee around your finger. “Maybe I’ll stay out here and wait. It’s a nice night, and you ain’t gonna be too long, right?”
He shakes his head. “Be as fast as I can. If it gets dark out, you come inside, alright?”
You shuffle into his embrace. “Promise.”
He kisses your head and steps back. “Here,” he slips the flannel from his shoulders, “If you’re sittin’ out. Got my phone if you need me.”
He disappears inside and the door falls closed. A cluster of moths twirls around the light on the trailer’s side. You hop up on the bed of the truck, crossing Joel’s shirt around your frame, and nestle against the back window.
The sun pulls down towards the horizon, sending dregs of daytime in ripples to the stars. She’s still alight just beyond the trees, still burning a hole in the sky. She winks at you from a distance.
The world looks different from Austin. Bigger, like the view from your bedroom window. There’s always more, just beyond the horizon. There has to be more, right? More than four pink walls and a chest of drawers. More than Sal’s store, more than Rita’s cross stitch.
You chased that more halfway across the country – only to realize it was in your hands the whole time.
Him and his lazy smile, sarcasm as thick as the accent he speaks it in. Rolled up sleeves and messy collar; a half-empty cup of coffee and a cracked watch face.
He’s all the more you could ever need.
You’re still perched on the tailgate, staring skyward, when Joel finishes up.
He swaggers across the lot, tan arms speckled with dry dirt, boots kicking up dust. He tosses a fistful of papers in the front seat, then drifts around to settle between your knees.
“Hi,” he whispers, tucking his nose under your jaw.
“Hi.”
He plants his hands either side of your hips and kisses your neck. “Home time, sweet girl.”
You glance over your shoulder.
This time tomorrow, you’ll be on your flight back. Row twelve, seat C. Joel’s flannel over your shoulders, slowly forgetting the scent of him, mile by mile. You’ll sleep with it tucked under your chin until it no longer smells like oak or pine, or the mint bodywash he uses.
You’ll miss it the way you’ll miss him. Holding onto every last moment. Deep morning voice, warm, safe embrace. The rumble of a laugh in his chest, the glimmer or mischief in his eye. The touches he saves just for you; the words he whispers when the lights turn out.
You wrap your arms around his neck.
“Can we go watch the sunset somewhere?”
Joel glances off behind you. His eyes flit back to yours, sunlight catching their ochre and setting him ablaze.
“Get in,” he pulls you down, “I know just the spot.”
It’s almost dusk by the time you reach the outlook.
A twisty dirt road which opens up between some trees, halfway out of the city. Joel reverses the truck and parks in the clearing. The two of you slide onto the tailgate, sharing a bag of fruit gums he had stored alongside Sarah’s CD.
The stars turn one by one, dotted across deep indigo. The last of the day’s blush still lingers where the city meets the sky. Tucked between trees and twilight, it feels as though you’re the only two in the world.
Joel holds the bag out, and you pinch a couple pieces of candy. “How you feelin’?” he asks, looking out to the skyline.
“Okay, I guess,” you mutter. “This has been a nice reset. I wish I could take you back with me.”
Joel laughs. “I don’t.”
“No?” you suckle on the sweet fruit, “I think you’d fit right in.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” He shakes his head, pinching your chin. “Naw, LA is yours. It’s something you did, all by yourself. I am so proud of you, honey, do you know that? I mean, I miss you like hell, I really do…”
He glances back down, rustling the bag in his hands. He’s hiding, you know him well enough. Staring at his lap instead of in your eye. When he looks back up, there’s a glimmer along his waterline.
“…But the way I feel any time you call, and I know…I know you’re out there doin’ something you actually give a shit about. You ain’t stuck here, too big for your own bedroom, too comfortable for anywhere else.”
He slips a hand over your knee and squeezes.
It’s infuriating, how right he always is. You’re working your fucking ass off, and for good reason. Austin was always too small for the world inside your head. Missing each other is a price you’re both willing to pay, for the luxury of not missing out on every dream you’ve ever had.
But –
“What if it keeps getting harder?” you sniff, “What if I need you more?”
Joel clicks his teeth. “’s always gonna get harder. That’s life, darlin’. But the hard times won’t last forever. And when it feels real tough, and you feel like you can’t do it no more, you call me. You jump on the next flight. You switch your brain off, and you let me take care of you for a little while.”
You shake your head. Tears break loose, rolling down your cheeks. “I can’t ask that of you, Joel, you got your own shit to worry about –”
“Baby.” He sighs. “I’m old. I’ve done everything I think I oughta do. You know, the days I know you’re gonna be callin’ at eight o’clock – it’s all I can think about. I’m at work checking my watch every five minutes.”
You giggle, turning into the crook of his arm.
“It’s true,” Joel snickers, “I’m like a goddamn teenager. That’s what you do to me.”
He catches you and pulls you against his chest.
“What I’m saying is – there ain’t nothing that matters more to me in the world than you. My own shit to worry about? You mean – you?”
“Shut up,” you scoff, spitting tears into his shirt.
“You call,” he says, resolute, “and I’ll be there.”
“I’m calling,” you whisper. “I’m always calling.”
“Then I’m always here.”
You sit back, bracing yourself on Joel’s thighs. He wipes the wet from your cheeks and fixes his shirt over your shoulders.
“You know, one day,” you tell him, “you’re gonna get a call, and it’s not just gonna be for the weekend.”
He smiles. “I know.”
“One day, I’m gonna come home forever, Joel.”
“I know,” he repeats. “And I’ll be on the front porch waitin’.”
#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#the last of us#tlou#tlou fic#joel miller smut#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#fic: cowboy like me
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[04:24 am] “what are we?”
wc: 2.3k
a/n: [fluff viktor brainrot thanks to @dilemmars. t dije q me vengaría baby, así q zas, un payback por tus podcasts jdjfjjsd. hope u like cause its ur fault]
he’s humming something you don’t quite understand, a distant tune that sounds familiar —probably you’ve heard him sing it before—, and even if you don’t recognize the melody aside from that, you can’t help but appreciate it.
his hands fidget with whatever he can reach as he sighs once more, as if he was stealing breaths from the world, heavy, almost as lidded as his eyelids. his hair falls on his eyes and in between his slender fingers while he curls the untamed strands, and you fall into an endless pit of staring at him as he scribbles, grunts, sighs, and finally pinches the bridge of his nose.
“statistically speaking, i’m starting to feel like the chances of me getting this right are adversatively proportional to the chances of you accidentally swallowing a fly.”
and you just blink, once, then twice.
he stares at you, gives you a pointed look. he can’t really say if you understood that you were just staring at him with your mouth parted, but you squint at him, snickering.
“what,” his low voice fails to ask, unbothered, knowing that you’ll answer regardless.
and you do, answering. “you haven’t even uttered a word in a while. i was just surprised that you could still talk, is all,” you grin cheekily, playing with a screw on the table as you turn left and right on the chair you’re sitting on.
viktor looks at you, and he can’t help but crack a smile. point for you.
“what you laughing for, mhh, mister science?”
“isn’t it enough to bother me from the moment i get inside the lab in the morning that you need to do it at night too?” he pretends seriousness, side-eyeing you teasingly.
“fair enough. i will consider your offer, man of fleeting memory, and take it upon myself to bother you longer.”
his mean stare wouldn’t even make a kitten mewl, but you take you hand to your heart, pretending to be wounded.
“don’t look at me like that! you’ll hurt my feewings,” you pouted, much to his amusement.
“fleeting memory?” he scoffs, accent rolling off his tongue. “when’s the last time you lost a hairtie, mmh?” he mocks.
“unfair!” you can’t help but giggle as you pretend to hide your hair from his view. point for him. “besides. i take better care of my hair than you do of yours.” you pouted smuggly. “mine looks prettier.”
“what?” he finally asks, letting out a chuckle this time as his eyes land on you for the first time in the good part of an hour.
you play with your hair to style it, and funnily pose, hands on your cheeks as you lay your elbows on the table.
“what, don’t I look pretty?” you smiled, letting out a cheeky giggle.
yes. he doesn’t say it, but his eyes haven’t dodged back to his papers just yet. it’s another point for you. so very pretty.
he doesn’t dare. he knows it. his mind, or at least the small portion of his mind that still ties him with the occasional reminder that he’s human, looks at you and wants you in a way that he’s never wanted before.
so viktor resolves in looking at you. maybe only for a moment, maybe only on those fragments of time when he’s tired enough that he looks at the stars and at the moon, yearning to reach them, only to think he’ll miss the moonlight, finally blinking to the realization that he had been staring into your eyes for too long.
his eyes are dull as he stares at you, and your expression of worry at the fact makes his heart skip a beat. “viktor?” you mumble, softly, sleepily, warily. he can’t stop staring at you, and while he supposes success and defeat can look the same in a mirror —therefore, he doesn’t really blame your confusion—, he finds no words to explain which one he’s feeling as you move your chair towards him by a push against the floor, solely accompanied by the sound of the little wheels rolling to him.
he grabs his walking stick and turns it around, pretending to poke at your chair, as if to teasingly shove it away. if you realize that he settles the walking stick just in the correct place so that your stool can’t move back, he doesn’t know. viktor just stares at the floor, to pretend that maybe the way your eyes turn tender when his reflection shines on them has nothing to do with what you’re about to say.
tsk, tsk. clueless viktor.
he’s expecting it, yes, but even with that on mind, he can’t phathom how your course of action chooses laughing as you fidget with the loose button on his vest, the second one from the top down. viktor purposely forces himself to stable his breathing, worry seeping into him, thinking that maybe you could feel his heartbeat grow faster beneath the layers of clothing.
and he feels like the remnants of a cheap ring that stain a finger blue, when comparing himself as he stands —sits— close and next to you. maybe its because you usually wear rings, and he can feel the ghost of them as your hand trails up and absentmindedly fixes his collar.
he can almost see it. your mind working, the pieces falling into place, the—
“either my eyes are deceiving me or yours have been on my lips for a rather long time.”
and he can just. blink. as if that could break how mesmerized he feels, how his heart swells up and covers his throat, how inexplicably he feels when you’re with him, near and alone. the need to know more. the need to use every trinket and screw to map out your body for him to explore, and to map out the wonders of your mind for the world to admire and maybe then find out the reason of his inability to look away.
he was so focused before. used to be.
he is. now, at you. of you. on you.
you.
another point for you. he isn’t keeping count, but something tells him he’s losing.
and as his gaze falls back to your lips in between a battle against your eyes, lost in which to stare and sink into their devotion, he hesitates again.
he thinks its funny. so funny, viktor holds back the dry chuckle that threatens to go past his lips. how to cherish you in a way that matters. how to love, the scientist wonders. is there a way that would allow him to unveil and unravel himself to you? could there be some kind of language, able to express the depth of his insides, that you, too, could understand?
what is love, anyways? is he in love with you because his coffee tastes better when it matches the dark of your pupils? because when he takes the mug from your hand and his fingers brush against yours, it seems warmer? because he notices how the dark shade in your eyes seems to mix with that of your irises, and the way the black eats the colour when you stare at him? because he claims to hate company while he studies alone, but one chair remains empty as he works, waiting for who it was meant for? because when he fails and surrenders himself to the fall, throws his walking stick against the wall, he yearns for your embrace and how your hair smells in the evenings?
is that love? and if it is, could you understand it?
if it is love, and he could say it, would such a short word convey its meaning, or was he speculating just a couple of paragraphs ago? was he assuming the meaning of what love entails?
even so. if he said it, would you repeat it? would you claim you love him because he loves you, claim to love him too? would you instead claim to love him despite everything, even the uncertainty of love itself?
…does he accept it himself?
he’s overwhelmed by the sheer amount of voices in his head. there’s too much chatter. too many questions he can’t answer, too many commas, too many question marks. too much, too much, too many.
so he silences them. makes the voices dim to a deep silence. and when his lips find themselves suddenly against yours, he finds out the true, effervescent meaning of quietness.
his hand fails to pull you closer because of the damn walking stick that gets in the way. or maybe its the chairs you’re both on that clash against each other. maybe its matter itself. for a while, its the first time viktor doesn’t want to know.
in a bold statement, he couldn’t give a fuck.
he’s kissing you.
and it should be bad because of all the unanswered questions. he’s skipping procedure. he’s gone from the fuck around to finding out and he doesn’t know where he is at this point.
what he does know, is that your hand pulls him by his necktie, and he’s gone. science? yours only. the science that he’d study all of the nights he may have left. the science behind what makes you. the science behind how your hand craddles his face while stroking his cheekbones. the science behind how you’re the closest you’ve ever been to him and somehow still not close enough. the science behind the reason why when you pull away makes his heart beat so loudly, as if it had forgotten how to a second ago.
your forehead rests against his. he shouldn’t have done that. he just… did it. maybe that was bad. was it? could it be? he had been waiting for so long too. he never thought he would…
“viktor, what are we?”
and he’s dead. he knows what the question implies, but he doesn’t want to answer. he could follow you like a lost puppy through piltover and zaun and hell knows where else. if he wasn’t dead now he would die right there and now without a second thought, because the feeling that overcame him was that love was suddenly a sentence or two away.
he knows he doesn’t dare. it’s one of the only thing he knows, one of the things he’s sure of.
but somehow, he moves. he stands up, takes the walking stick, and attempts to walk out the feeling that bounces inside him.
the walking stick always makes a noise when he walks, one with dificulties to interpret in terms of onomatopeia. not quite a thud, not deep enough to reach that quality. not a clack, for it is not entirely made of metal. still, as if it was a mix of both, he keeps walking.
viktor is nervous. thud-clack. he’s not moving far from his chair, nor is he going somewhere else. thud-clack. he still keeps pacing. thud-clack. maybe the answer is somewhere in the room. thud-clack. maybe he can reply.
thud-clack, thud-clack, thud-clack.
only does he then realize that he hasn’t answered your question. and a non-answer statement might as well be a rejection.
no. no, no, no. fuck.
he’s sitting again, but you stand up. your hair follows, long. moving and brushing against the skin of your shoulders in a way that he can’t help but claim it to be endearing.
you’re walking. you don’t make any kind of extra sound when you walk. your heels reverberate against the floor like any other, yet also they mark the beat of his heart.
he can’t reach for you. you walk too fast.
you stop when you feel the walking stick on your side. the part made for him to lean on as he walks hooks you, and you stand, not facing him.
he doesn’t use the walking stick as he stands. no, he keeps it hooked to your core, scared that you might leave. you could, he wouldn’t blame you. but he can’t allow it.
he holds it in the air as he takes one step. another step. you’re turning, surprised to see him standing, and you gasp when he lets himself fall on you.
your touch surrounds him. yes. that’s the closeness he needed. he drops the walking stick, his hands slithering on your body, pressing you against him, for no reason at all yet because it is all needs.
“what can we be?” he whispers. he takes the science approach. the viktor approach.
he isn’t too clueless after all.
he raises enough to look at your darkened, sleepy eyes. he wants to drown in them.
“if i wanted to kiss you everytime you hand me coffee, wanted you to sit on the same chair as ne and hug me from behind as I work, wanted you.” he swallows dry. “then, what can we be?”
he doesn’t want to say the words, and its petty.
it’s the 31st when the clock strickes five am and your hands travel through his hair to kiss him again. to unbalance him enough that he falls back on his chair and you follow him, sitting on his lap.
and as he kisses you, his hands worshipping the skin he can touch, the warmth he can feel through layers of clothing, he feels like maybe there’s a life worth living, so he can’t ask.
he’s heard boys and girls when he was young talk about it. “he didn’t want to celebrate our month-versary,” a girl cried as he played with his little boat, watching from afar as she was comforted by her friend.
it’s the 31st. and he can’t really ask the question now, because if he says it, how could you celebrate each month?
he moves the chair and holds you in his arms as your back falls against the table before him. maybe he can kiss you until next month. until the clock strikes and it’s the 1st.
he smiles as he kisses you, feeling you pull his necktie off. he thinks it’s the best idea he’s had in a while. and a true scientist always tries out their hypothesis.
~k.k. (☆) have fun!
aaksuitac, november 2024 ©
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#viktor arcane#viktor x reader#viktor league of legends#viktor#victor arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane fic#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane x female reader#arcane show#arcane fluff#viktor machine herald
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You know what's funny is I've warned against some of the shit this site shills as OK. It was so enraging like 6 or 7 years ago when I posted something like "yeah never leaving someone alone after they fuck up is probably bad actually" and got called... IDK the word at the time, but something like an apologist.
And again, I'm gonna point this out: Seeing everything in black and white with no greys in the middle IS THE PROBLEM. Not just "A" problem, but THE problem among leftists.
I'm gonna go ahead and use Arin Hanson as an example again, because there's drama about him on Twitter again, but people still want to "remind" his fans about the stupid shit he did in his life ten or more years ago. You don't have to do that, I fucking promise. You don't. You don't have to like him or be his biggest stan if you don't want to, but CHRIST. Shut the fuck up. You HAVE to give people room to change and grow, or what is this all for?
"But what if ______ said something racist?"
Are they actively doing it now? Are they doing racist things? Are they causing harm? No? Then SHUT UP. You don't have to tell everyone who posts about _______ that they said something stupid 10 years ago.
I also follow someone on Twitter who fucked up in a huge way and JUST posted some racist shit. It was unintentional and came from a place of severe misinformation, and he apologized as soon as he realized he fucked up and even RT'd the people who corrected him, but there are STILL PEOPLE commenting on his posts with "are you going to address this" and... just fucking SHUT UP. There is a really clear line between holding someone accountable and harassment. You HAVE to learn to tell the difference.
And I can't believe I have to say this because someone will misconstrue this, but holding people accountable is good. It is. I get it. You want to point things out and demand better. That is good for society. But if you see people have already pointed it out by the dozens, or sometimes hundreds, you can just... not support that person.
There's this thing on the internet where if you don't explicitly state that you DON'T support something, then you MUST support it. And those people also need to shut the fuck up. Sometimes it's the dogpiling that pushes people away from reflection, especially when there are also a ton of comments that say things like "don't listen to them. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."
Who do you think that person is going to for help? The person calling them horrible, or the person offering them comfort?
I fully expect to get asshole asks like "oh so you support racism" and here's a pre-emptive "fuck you" for deliberately misinterpreting what I'm saying. Unfollow and block me rather than sending me dipshit asks.
I'm done with all of you.
I'm especially done with the pissants who saw me say "Kamala Harris is probably better for the country than Donald Trump" and sent me asks saying I was a fucking genocide apologist. You see what your bullshit got you? Fuck you. Now we have someone who'll not only support the Palestinian genocide, but will likely do other terrible shit, as well. And even though Palestinians begged you to vote for Kamala Harris, you just had to virtue signal to the world that you were just so gosh darn progressive.
I am saying this all from the bottom of my heart. Stop pushing people away. Stop seeking perfection in every person on the internet. You will NEVER find it, and not only will you spend your life angry, but you'll spend your life fucking things up for everyone else.
posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.
those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.
radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.
ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!
"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.
it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?
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hello there!
Can I request a Franco x reader? But where Ayrton Senna is alive in this universe and the reader is Senna? If not, then fine. It's up to you. Thanks in advance 😊😊
ʚɞ a/n: that is my moment!!!!!!!! i often imagine how would it be to have ayrton in contemporary scenarios it's unhealthy lol. i really think he'd be full of jokes and a fun guy just like he was off track. thanks for the request, it was a real nice one to write! (and if anyone has any senna request, i'll be more tham happy to take it! (i'm even willing to write stuff with senna himself))
ʚïɞ "you got me good" FC43
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ masterlist ↳ drop a request! ↳ more franco fluff!
✧₊⁺ franco colapinto x cecília senna (senna!female oc)
✧₊⁺ word count: 1,6k⠀⠀⠀⠀✧₊⁺, gender: crack, fluff.
✧₊⁺ summary: franco and cecília kept a secret relationship and when they decide to come clean, her father was ahead of it and he's a total menace.
✧₊⁺ warnings: alternative universe where that may 1th 1994 didn't happen and ayrton grew old like he deserved to, my hyper focus on that man shown in references, a bit of portuguese properly translated, kinda short and poorly contextualized, curse words, franco is a baby, just soft and light content for the win.
"What do you mean he doesn't know about it?"
Franco took a deep breath, massaging his own scalp as his friend and co-worker continued talking, a mix of excitement and judgment in his words.
"You are not making this any better," he mouthed.
"You are dating his daughter! You are da-ting. The man's daughter. Like... The man's daughter. The hell haven't you met her family!?"
"I am scared, okay!? If I get rejected by her family... It's not just my girlfriend's family. It's simply Senna himself! Should I what!? Drop the job? Hide in a cave?"
Alex laughed, the words and the tone easing the tension. The guy was worried to death and things might be simpler than he thought. Everyone knew Senna was a fun person.
Dating Cecília Senna felt almost like marrying into royalty. It's a good feeling, though. Bagging Cecília Senna could easily be added to one of Franco's big achievements — and he's a former F2 driver called in last minute to fill a Formula One seat — and he's doing great.
But still, it's Cecília Senna, the only child of a legend, someone he looked up to growing up, someone he saw in the paddock many times before ending up in his daughter's sheets.
"Hello, everyone!"
God, his heart might have dropped to the floor just now. The retired driver walked into the garage happily, with his daughter attached to his arm and waving familiarly.
Everyone gathered around them immediately, though Cecília's eyes instantly met Franco's. She knew he was scared and had made fun of him until she couldn't anymore, teasing him in every way she could.
"I've heard the news on the Argentinian! You guys are lucky you got away easily!"
Alright, it's time to pray. What news? That he's fucking his daughter? That they meet every week? That she wanted a Williams' box pass so badly just because of him? Or... That they hid it from everyone just to gain a bit more time?
"We got quality, mate! That's it." Vowels took his cue to fill in the blank, the people dispersing and going back to their work. "Found the kid sparring and made him a beast."
"Yeah, of course," the Brazilian laughed. "What's up, buddy! Feeling the pressure?"
Franco mentally cursed Cecília for raising her eyebrows and doubling the meaning of the question, but he managed to stand up and dry his sweaty hands on his pants.
"I try not to, honestly. Not... think about it a lot," he said, feeling he could have worded the sentence a bit better as they shook hands.
"That's the spirit! I heard a lot about you, little man. Do you know my daughter? Cecília?"
Tricky question. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Tricky question.
If he had heard about it, then he knew about them. Franco could say "yes" and end up with a lecture, or say "no" and be caught in a lie.
"You guys think you are smart, huh? Fooling around, hiding from cameras..."
Oh, it's over. It's over for him. The "drop the job and hide in a cave" plan was almost running in his veins right now. Maybe he should Sebastian Vettel his way around, retire early, and move to a countryside home in Switzerland. Yes, that's a good plan.
"Pai... Para com isso." Cecília shoved her dad's side, rolling her eyes. (Dad... Stop that.)
"What? You guys thought you got away with it?"
"Pai! Ele tá ficando sem graça!" she insisted. (Dad! He's getting uncomfortable!)
Franco thought of speaking up, but the nerves were all up and maybe he should let it be.
"Yeah! He should!" Ayrton still had a serious look on his face, making Franco shiver.
"Pai, sério." (Dad, I'm serious.)
"Sir, I know it—"
"Come on, Franquinho! I'm fooling around, take that scared look off your face!" In a matter of seconds, Ayrton's grin turned into a playful smile, and his arm was hooked over Franco's shoulder, messing up his hair and leaving him even more confused. "Did I scare you? You should have seen your eyes!"
Franco laughed, still a bit dulled. That was a big one.
"You're a bastard," Cecília rolled her eyes once again, aware of the father she had.
The man was a natural jokester, full of little jokes and loved making uncomfortable scenarios in the name of fun. He was a handful.
"And you guys should have told me about this before! You lost it all, Franquinho. Angra, the travels... You need to be introduced to the family!"
He had heard about Angra; the beach house Cecília went to every now and then, how much she and her father loved the place. He even saw an old interview where Ayrton said that his retirement plans included being "Angra's nature inspector."
"Yeah- Yeah, sim." Franco risked some Portuguese, patting Ayrton on the back before they both stepped apart. "Sorry for... for taking too long to meet you, I was- Damn, you got me good."
"I could see!" Senna didn't waste a single laugh. "Don't worry, little boy. You're a good investment. And Cecília is pretty happy, so... you got my support."
"I'm even happier to hear it." Franco chuckled. "Thank you, very much. Your daughter also makes me really happy."
"Of course! Her bad jokes make everyone laugh." Ayrton kept the teasing going. "Now you better show me some racing! I've been in your place and to keep the daughter you need to be as good as dad!"
"You should have seen your face, baby!"
Franco glanced at his girlfriend as he turned his head, their first alone time since the morning's humiliation session.
"I don't wanna talk about it," he mouthed, shirt off and focus switching. "That was traumatizing."
"I told you he's a clown." Her shoulders went up a bit. "But he wasn't lying at the end! He likes you!"
"I got that part. Now I know where you got that dark humor from." The blue-eyed boy stood in the middle of his room, hands on his waist as he let his girlfriend use her eyes.
"What can I say? I am my father's daughter." She smiled mischievously. "He wants you to spend some time, though. Before Vegas, maybe?"
"I could've Max Verstappen my way around and have stayed for the week... But we waited until your dad could scare me to death in the middle of the box so... Yeah, it can be next week." He started simple, voice steady.
But then Cecília approached and her hands liked to touch. All over his torso while she traced a good way for his hair.
"You ain't seen nothing yet." The smile was still on her face, lips coming closer and closer to his. "But I am really happy, you know? Now we can just be and enjoy some time... I can take you to Angra, and I don't need to hide in your driver's room. I was done with pretending I was investing in Williams just so I had a reason to watch the races here."
"Told you about it... You could afford my seat."
Another joke. Ever since he got into F1 as an emergency call, she did say she only had to call her dad and his 2025 seat would be secured.
"You're gonna get it because you deserve it, I am not affording that." She flashed her eyelashes, rimming a single syllable as his hands also started to travel.
Inside her expensive shirt, up and down her back in good pressure before they found room at her waist.
"You know what else I deserve?"
"You freak! Go shower and I'll be waiting for you outside. My dad is around!"
It took them no time. Within weeks, Ayrton and Franco became partners in crime, and suddenly, Cecília was having a taste of her own medicine.
"Turn it off! Now!" Ayrton whispered in a screaming tone, the last signal Franco needed before turning off the power for the whole house.
Cecília had just come back from the beach and Franco finally knew the Angra house. It was dark, and the prank was not very well planned.
"Porra." (Shit.) they heard the Brazilian swearing. "Que inferno, de novo? PAAAAI?" (What the hell, again? DAAAAD?)
He knew some words in Portuguese and it only made it funnier. Him and his father-in-law were hiding in the small laundry room as Cecília searched for them.
"Ready, kid?"
"No, but I'll do it anyways."
"Good kid. You're a great one." The old man, as a new custom, messed with the Argentinian's hair, before opening the door and waiting for him to leave.
"Eu juro, se vocês estiverem armando pra cima de mim eu— Ah— FRANCO! NO!" (I swear, if you guys are planning something against me I—)
He's fast even with his limited knowledge about the furniture in the house, walking in the dark before he could lift her and throw her over his shoulder.
It's the fourth time she's thrown in the pool and she just knows it's her father opening the glass door for the exterior area before she's sinking in cold water.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALL!" Cecília screamed. "I JUST WASHED MY HAIR! OH MY GOD! PUTTING YOU TWO TOGETHER WAS THE WORST THING I EVER DID!"
"Não reclama, princesinha..." (Don't you complain, little princess...) her father played, now standing besides her boyfriend. "Bate aqui, you passed the test. Welcome to the family." (High five,)
"I hate you guys. Eu odeio vocês, los odio. Whatever. Don't ever talk to me again." Cecília stomped her way out of the pool, walking straight past them.
"Don't get mad, baby... It's just a joke!"
"Well, boy... It's your girlfriend. Go ease her nerves. You're called Colapinto for a reason."
ʚïɞ ayrtonswnna, 2024. check my masterlist or drop a request (: reblogs and feedback are always welcome (:
#lele writes ʚɞ#formula 1#f1#f1 imagine#formula one imagine#formula one#imagine#formula one fluff#formula one fluff imagine#franco colapinto fluff#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x oc#franco colapinto x reader#senna!oc#franco colapinto x senna!daughter#senna!reader#ayrton senna#williams racing
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Used
JJ Maybank x fem reader
Authors note: just had to write something for THAT scene that drove us all crazy. Gif made by me cause I could not stop thinking of how hot he was with the fucking bat 😅
This is my first new fic in a long time, so I know it's not without its flaws, but I hope you guys enjoy 😅😈
Warnings: SMUT, mean JJ, oral (fem and male receiving), fingering, rough unprotected sex, blood
Summary: you track JJ down at Zeazy's office
The second I saw downtown, I knew he was really off the rails. Lucky for me, I knew exactly where he was headed. I broke off from the group, making sure no one was following as I sprinted further into town.
When Zeasy’s real estate office came into view and I saw the busted windows, I sighed in relief. I found him. I approached quietly, not wanting to spook him as I reached through the broken door, opening it up from the inside.
“J”, I whisper as I enter the front office, trying not to step on the glass that’s scattered all over the floor. I continue walking forward till I’m grabbed by the back of my hair. I go to let out a scream and a ring clad hand is slapped over my mouth.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He seethes as he releases my hair and pushes me forward. I spin to face him and he’s still holding the bat, hair disheveled, eyes darker than his normal shade of blue and I take a cautionary step backward.
“You need to stop J, they’re gonna lock you up for years over this.” I say, nothing but concern laced in my words.
“They aren’t taking me alive, I can guarantee you that. Just get out of here. You aren’t gonna want to watch it unfold Y/N.”
“I just want to help. How can I help you, I know this isn’t you.” I take a step towards him and he takes steps back.
“You can’t help me. Just get the fuck out.” He shouts as he points to the door. “I’m not gonna tell you again.”
“Please-” He cuts me off, storming towards me and grabbing me by the throat.
“You wanna know what I need princess? Get on your fucking knees.” He demands as he releases me and I choke as I let in a breath. I’ve never seen him like this in the years I’ve known him. Completely unhinged and it makes my stomach churn.
“We can’t stay here, take me somewhere else and-” I’m cut off again and this time he’s pushing me down to the ground. “The glass.” I shriek as I feel the shards cut into my knees.
“Open your fucking mouth. Now.” He demands as he undoes his jeans. My heart is racing as I open my mouth and stick out my tongue. When he pulls his dick out, I attempt to speak again but he grabs the back of my hair and forces himself all the way to the back of my throat as I choke.
“There we go. I’ve always wondered what you’d look like with that pretty mouth stuffed full with my cock.” He rasps as he pulls out to the tip of my tongue and plunges it back inside. I do my best to breathe through my nose as his assault continues. Tears cascade down my face as he continues to use me and I’m relieved when I feel him begin to twitch and my mouth fills with cum. “That’s a start.” He growls as he pulls out and I can finally breathe again. I didn’t have a chance to fully process what he just said before I’m spun around and my face was pressed into the floor. My cheek stings as I’m cut up all over again and I can’t even speak as my shorts are pulled off and panties pulled to the side. He buries his face in my pussy and I gasp as I try to pull away.
“Stop trying to run away from me, you need to be wet for the way I’m about to split you the fuck open.” He flicks my clit rapidly and I try my best to stay still to avoid the glass pushing deeper into my skin. “Didn’t take much though, did it? You just love being used don’t you princess?” He plunges two fingers into my aching hole and I moan into the floor trying to figure out if this is a sick dream because while I’ve thought about this, I never imagined it would be happening like this. I can hear how wet I am as his fingers slide in and out with ease, nudging that sweet spot with his rings and I’m already on the edge.
“J.” I cry as I start to tighten up and arch into his movements, no longer caring about the pain to other areas of my abused body.
“Cum already.” He coaxes and I’m relieved when I do. “Jesus, I hope you squeeze my cock the way you just squeezed my fingers.” He pulls them out, cleaning them off before replacing them with his cock.
“Fuck-I can’t.” I plead. He’s so thick and I feel like I’m being torn open. I’ve never felt so full.
“You need to relax. You’re so fucking tight that you’re pushing me out.” He groans as he continues pushing in all the way to the hilt. “Breathe, I know you can take it. I’m gonna make you.” He starts a punishing rhythm, one hand tight on my hip and the other pushing down on my back to keep me from moving.
“JJ, please.” I plead and he slaps his hand over my mouth but doesn’t miss a beat as he continues chasing his release.
“They are still out there searching for me, you really want the whole town to hear how helpless you are while I’m inside of you?” He mocks and seconds later, he’s pulling out and flipping us over, bringing me into a straddle on his lap. “You wanna cum again, you’re gonna have to work for it. Come on Y/N, use me like I used you.” He demands and I’m quick to action, sliding down hard then pushing him down to lie flat on his back. “Shit!” He hisses as glass cuts through his shirt, piercing his back.
“You’re a piece of shit!” I seethe as I bounce up and down, trying hard to take the control he granted me. His head flies back momentarily at the pleasure we both feel but I can tell he’s still angry with the way his fingertips bite into my hips.
“Yeah? And what does that make you?” He retorts as he tries to sit up and I slam him back down again. “Bitch.” He growls and I know it hurts. I lean down, capturing his mouth with a brutal kiss and biting down hard on his lower lip. The taste of blood forces it’s way into my mouth with his tongue. If he wants it rough, I’ll give it to him. Our teeth clash together as I take him deeper and deeper. He grabs the back of my hair, snapping my head back. “Come on, squeeze me good and hard one last time.” His teeth sink into my neck and that band snaps as my body shakes on top of him. I feel him twitch and then his hot ropes of cum are shooting inside of me. In the distance, I can make out the faint sounds of sirens as we struggle to get to our feet.
“J.” I warn.
“I know.” He quickly tucks himself back into his jeans as I put my shorts back on. Both cut up and used, he grabs my hand and we flee into the night.
#jj maybank#jj maybank fic#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank smut#jj maybank x reader#obx#outer banks#outer banks smut#rudy pankow#rudy pankow fic#rudy pankow smut
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Hopelessly Devoted | Eris x Reader
Eris x Reader x Azriel (?) | You're hopelessly devoted to Azriel, suspecting he’s your true love. Meanwhile, Eris is hopelessly longing after you. aka Eris being your mate but you're too infatuated with Az to notice.
warnings: slight angst, reader being a bit delulu
*also disclaimer that I am no expert in astrology and my knowledge is usually what I gathered from friends or tiktok so if I'm wrong, please correct me but do it nicely pls bc I am sensitive lol*
a/n: I wasn't sure whether to include Az or not in the pairing but I liked the idea of leaving this fic up to your interpretation. Anyway, happy reading! <3
As you entered the Night Court’s observatory, you traced your fingers along the edge of the great celestial map laid before you. You could feel the soft hum of magic beneath your fingertips, still smell the faintest hint of sage–a remnant of your father’s last ritual here. For centuries, your father has served as the Night Court’s astrologer. He’s guided and advised High Lord Rhysand and on occasion, Keir, the steward of the Court of Nightmares.
Above you, constellations and planets danced across the domed ceiling, the stars gleaming as though they were ready to whisper secrets just for you. You took a deep breath, centering yourself, and placed a palm flat against the massive zodiac wheel etched onto the floor. It began to glow, a warm golden light tracing symbols of the zodiacs and planets.
“Stars above and stars below, reveal the path I seek to know,” you quietly murmured.
The markings on the wheel shifted in response, aligning and realigning with clicking sounds, the warm golden light following. Then, your own chart had appeared, shimmering above you. It was a translucent web of stars and planets connected by silvery lines. You’ve read your birth chart many times, become so familiar with it that you knew it by heart even.
But tonight, you needed the extra reassurance. So you looked up, watching as the planets moved slowly. Your heartbeat a little faster as you spotted Jupiter making transit through your seventh house. The promise of growth, abundance, luck and most important of all, love filled the air.
You slipped a small vial from the hidden pocket of your cobalt blue dress. The words Love Potion No.9 gleamed on the glass, the dark red liquid swirling. It was the enchanted perfume you’d bought from a witch last week—a little love potion designed to make you irresistibly alluring to your soulmate.
You felt a bit foolish, seeking a witch for guidance on love of all matters. Witches were frowned upon in the Court of Nightmares, after all. But impatience had finally nudged you to venture beyond the court’s dark mountain and into the surrounding forests, in search of someone who could help.
“Seek the one who walks between light and shadow with a mask of cool indifference, where fire meets the edge of night. There your heart shall find its match,” she had told you as she handed you the enchanted perfume.
Her words had only confirmed what you had been suspecting for years, centuries even.
Azriel was your soulmate.
Azriel, the very embodiment of cool indifference, wore a mask of stoicism in the Court of Nightmares, just as High Lord Rhysand did. But his hazel eyes always seemed to burn with a hidden fire. And when you were alone with him, away from the cold nobility of the Night Court, Azriel would let that mask slip, revealing a kinder side that laughed and smiled with you. He was your friend and not only did he literally walk among shadows, he wielded them. It had to be him!
And then, there was your birth chart. Your seventh house lay in Cancer—a sign ruled by the moon. With the moon positioned in your tenth house, everything pointed to the idea that you’d meet your soulmate through your work. And indeed, the first time you met Azriel was in the Court of Nightmares, when Rhysand had summoned your father for counsel. You’d joined to assist in that meeting and when Keir had rudely interrupted you, Azriel had shut him up with a heated glare.
The stars couldn’t have given you a clearer message!
**
There was a flutter in your stomach as you approached Azriel. The two of you had been stealing glances at one another, as you usually did anytime you found yourselves in the same place. He looked as beautiful as ever. As dreamy as ever.
Though your High Lord and High Lady had moved to the center of the ballroom for a dance, he had stayed by the dais. “Hello,” you greeted him with a small smile.
Azriel turned to you, that mask of his slipping for just a brief moment to smile back at you. He took the extra wine glass in your hold, murmuring a small thanks. He turned his head back to the dance floor, attentive to his High Lady’s whereabouts. But he shifted closer to you, the coolness of his shadows caressing your bare arm and you couldn’t help but wonder if the perfume was working.
“You look nice,” he commented.
“Thanks.” A blush rose to your cheeks. You’d taken care to match your dress to the exact shade of his siphons. And he noticed. “So do you.”
“I wear this all the time.” Azriel replied drily, referring to his usual Illyrian leathers.
“Yeah, I know.” You cursed yourself inwardly for the awkward response, then shifted closer, leaning toward him. “Do I smell to you?”
Azriel paused, his shadows brushing close, as if curious themselves. “No,” he said after a moment.
“Oh.” Disappointment seeped into your voice despite your best efforts, and his gaze shifted to you, a hint of a frown in his brows.
“Do you want to smell?”
There’s a teasing edge to his tone, a subtle quirk of his lips. You shook your head, letting out a small, nervous laugh. "No. I just wanted to know if I smelled any…different…,” and then, in a much quieter tone, you murmured, “to you.”
Azriel considered your words. He looked to you in what seemed like permission. You gave a nod of your head and he leaned in, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. “You smell the same to me.” At the breath you let out, he quickly added: “which is good by the way. You smell nice.”
“Oh, okay,” you smile, albeit a bit awkwardly, the flutter you had felt in your stomach earlier twisting into a knot.
“Y/n, is everything alright?” Azriel asked softly.
“Yeah, I just thought—” You stopped, not sure how to explain without sounding foolish. It wasn’t like you could admit to feeling disappointed over the lack of reaction from an enchanted perfume you’d spent quite a fortune on. Especially when he was the sole purpose for it. Had the witch scammed you?
Azriel waited for you patiently, concern flashing in his eyes. Maybe the perfume hadn’t worked, but the stars and planets had never led you astray. That still had to mean something, right?
“I’m fine.” You finally said.
“Are you sure?”
The way he was looking at you had warmth creeping up your neck and settling deeper in your cheeks. “Yeah.”
A single shadow curled around Azriel’s ear and in the blink of an eye, his head turned. Your gaze followed his, to where Rhysand and Feyre were standing. Rhysand sent him a slight nod and with a sigh, Azriel returned it.
“Sorry, I have to go.” Azriel said, quickly downing the remaining wine from his glass.
You held out your hand, offering to take it for him.
“Thank you. I’ll be back. Don’t have too much fun without me, alright?”
“I’ll try not to,” you replied.
You watched Azriel disappear into his shadows before turning away from the dais and making your way to the refreshments table. You were eager for a refill on your glass. Perhaps a little more wine would help ease the sting of disappointment. But he’d said he’d be back, hadn’t he?
As you scanned the room, you noticed your father in conversation with one of Keir’s sons and your mother eyeing potential suitors for your older brother. As an elite warrior of the Darkbringers, he had no shortage of admirers, and it was only a matter of time before your mother secured him a match—perfect or not.
You suspected you’d be next on her matchmaking list, so you busied yourself with small talk among familiar ladies. Conversations were always a mind-numbing, the ladies your age exchanging beauty tips that centered around the male’s eye or fawning over this season’s most eligible males. Which this season just so happens to be your brother. Gross. If only they knew him the way you did….
Second to him was Bret—or some equally uninspiring name. A Scorpio, of all things, which clashed miserably with your chart. Not that it mattered. You had no interest in any noble of the Court of Nightmares. Or any male here. Most, if not all, were cruel and narcissists, only viewing females as child bearers and nothing more.
There was a reason why this court was burdened with the title “Nightmares.” And to marry someone from here would mean never waking up from this darkness. No stars to light your night skies, only endless shadow and despair.
So, you’d taken fate into your own hands. You’d turned to your birth chart, hoping the stars would lead you somewhere beyond Hewn City, beyond this never-ending nightmare. And they had. They led you to believe it was Azriel. Azriel, who was not only honorable and single but also, technically, part of the Court of Dreams. He’d been your friend for centuries, seeing you for who you are rather than an object or prize like most males here.
As you sneak away from the conversation, you bump into something–someone. Behind you, a deep voice huffed a low, mocking chuckle. “Easy there, librarian.”
You could recognize that voice anywhere, could recognize the heat radiating from him. It pressed down on you, leaving you simmering with irritation.
“I’m a libra, not a librarian.” You bit out. It hasn’t even been a minute and already you were exhausted by the searing presence behind you. “And besides, to you, it’s Lady Y/N.”
When you turned, you found Eris looming over you. His amber eyes gleamed with a familiar, infuriating mischief. He gave you that signature smirk of his, the one that made his sharp features all the more arrogant. “Such a harsh tone. Hardly fitting for a Lady.”
Your gaze hardened into a glare, only to have it stray toward a movement across the ballroom. A flicker of shadow caught your attention, and your heart gave a small, hopeful jump as your gaze softened. There he was—Azriel.
He had returned to the ballroom…but he hadn’t returned to you…
Eris raised a glass to his lips, amber eyes flicking lazily between you and Azriel. “Disappointment doesn’t suit you.”
“I’m not disappointed.” You muttered hastily.
He gave a scoff, his smirk widening with dark amusement. “Please. I can practically feel it.”
“Liar,” you shot back.
“Azriel said he’d find me again and unlike you, he’s a male of his word,” you continued, not sure why you were telling Eris this. “He’s…”
Your words trailed off as you watched Azriel, who stood next to Nesta and Elain. He laughed–actually laughed!-- at something Elain had said, shadows absent from his frame as his focus remained solely on her. You couldn’t miss the soft smile playing on his lips, nor the warmth in his gaze. Did he do that with every female he knew? You thought he reserved that just for you…
The bubble in your chest slowly deflated.
“Keep dreaming,” Eris huffed out. He seemed to take special pleasure in your reaction. It prompted your cheeks to flush but this time, with irritation.
“Oh, go away, you prick,” you said, rolling your eyes. “You don’t understand.”
“Oh, wouldn’t I?" he replied, leaning closer, his sharp gaze burning into you. You missed the flash of longing in his amber eyes, too focused on Azriel. Or the way the words that had been on the tip of his tongue faltered as your scent suddenly overwhelmed him, his breath hitching slightly.
"You smell.”
“Gee, thanks,” you mumbled absently.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his voice gruff and pupils flaring. “You smell different tonight…good...”
You blinked, barely processing his words. Was he actually being nice to you? In all the years you’ve known him, he’s always had snark remark after snark remark for you. The way it would roll smoothly off his tongue always left you wondering if he’d rehearse them for his visits to the Court of Nightmares.
You fidgeted, fingers grazing your wine glass as you cast a hesitant glance back at Azriel. Your chest tightened as he remained engrossed in conversation with Elain. Turn around, please. But he hadn’t even looked your way once.
Eris stepped in front of you, drawing your attention back to him. His gaze roamed over you, your dress. He took in the shade and he knew why you had chosen it–and for whom. "You know," he said, his gaze lingering on your face. "Red suits you far better.”
“And there he is, you’re back…”
"I’m serious. This—" He gestured to your gown with a slight grimace, his fingers brushing the silk fabric in disappointment. "This color washes you out. Red would bring out the color of your eyes…”
Your jaw clenched but you remained silent, refusing to admit that his words stirred something within you. Eris was insufferable, arrogant, and yet you couldn't deny his eye for detail. He, after all, was always dressed impeccably in the finest Autumn attire. But you would never give him the satisfaction of admitting he might be right.
His smirk widened, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking. “Do you want to know another thing?”
“No,” you said immediately.
But he leaned in anyway, his breath warm against your ear. “You’re hopelessly devoted to a male who doesn’t even look your way.”
Your mouth opened, brows furrowing in protest, but he went on. His smirk softened, fading into a half-smile. One that didn’t reach his eyes, dimming the fire that usually burned so brightly there. And then, in a much quieter, reluctant tone, he murmured, “And I am no different, it seems.”
"But…" You stammered, resisting the urge to steal another glance at Azriel. "He does look my way…sometimes.”
Eris’s smile faded, his expression tightening. A flicker of pain crossed his face. So brief, you almost thought you imagined it. "You’re delusional.”
“And you’re insufferable.” You scoffed, heart pounding.
“Better than being a fool.”
The mocking tone was there but the usual sharpness had been softened by a strange, subtle sadness. Was this… pity?
You swallowed, lifting your chin defiantly. “The stars wouldn’t lie to me,” you said, though the conviction in your voice wavered. “He’s the one for me.”`
You met his eyes then and Eris held your gaze. His amber eyes warm and molten, the intensity of his stare prickling at your skin. An unsettling flutter erupted in your stomach, rising to your chest. A feeling you quickly dismissed when you felt something cool brush against your arm.
“Is he bothering you, y/n?”
Eris scoffed at the sudden presence beside you. It sickened him to see that sweet, adoring look on your face, the triumphant gleam in your eyes as you looked up at Azriel. The sight made Eris grit his teeth. His instincts roared at him, the fire in his veins was scorching.
You blinked, snapping out of your daze, realizing both males were waiting for your answer. “No,” you said but the way you shifted to stand behind Azriel said otherwise.
Azriel’s gaze hardened as he looked toward Eris. “Stay away from her,” he seethed.
A low growl rumbled from Eris’s chest as he took a step forward, his amber eyes flaring with rage. Though not as tall as Azriel, he seemed to tower over him at this moment. His teeth flashed as his lips curled into a snarl. “I do not take orders from bastards like you.”
Azriel’s wings tensed, threatening to unfurl and the movement of his shadows quickened. Like a storm ready to unfold. But before it could, you placed a hand on his arm. Right over one of his glowing siphons that seemed to be growing hotter and hotter, daring to match the fire coursing through Eris’s veins.
“Az, don’t,” you told him gently, not wanting to draw any attention to the three of you. You felt his muscles ease under your touch, his shadows brushing over your hand in agreement.
Eris’s gaze dropped to your hand on Azriel’s arm, his expression darkening into something unreadable. He exhaled sharply, turning his head as though trying to shake off whatever thought had crossed his mind.
When he looked back, his features had shifted into his usual cool mask, that infuriating smirk sliding back into place. He looked right at you.
“When you wake up from this deranged dream of yours, come find me.”
You watched him, feeling a strange, unwelcome tug in your chest as he turned to leave. Perhaps, one day you’d realize that the enchanted perfume you had bought was not a scam.
And that the male you searched through the stars and planets for was not the one standing beside you, but the one who’d just walked away.
a/n: sorry if you're not a libra, I just thought it'd be funny for Eris to purposely say reader's sign wrong as he knows astrology is a huge influence on her.
[Eris masterlist]
General tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444 @lilah-asteria @the-sweet-psycho
@daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @stormhearty, @pit-and-the-pen, @mybestfriendmademe
@loving-and-dreaming @azriels-human @mrsjna, @adventure-awaits15, @lorosette
@alwayshave-faith
#eris x reader#eris x you#eris x y/n#eris fanfiction#azriel x reader#azriel fanfiction#acotar x reader#acotar x you#acotar x y/n#acotar fanfiction
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Noona please I beg of you, I need more men grovelling and regretting their actions; please give us more of the angsty version of the dukedom au it’s so good, it’s so cathartic please. What happens when the boys realize they fucked up? Who wants to fight Konig upon realizing reader is definitely getting her back blown out by him? Imagine if reader ended up having his baby, or placing divorce papers on Price’s desk, god the ANGST of it all
Here’s my dog as a banana as payment
Original post
THE DOG PICCC TELL YOUR DOG I SAID THEY ARE GOODEST BOY/GIRL EVERRRR ID DIE FOR THEMMM
also thank you to everyone for all the suggestions! I couldn’t add all of them so I’m super sorry for that 😭 and also a thank you to @darkangel4121 for your replies!!
The shift in the household’s demeanor comes slowly, as if the wind has changed direction. At first, it’s little things- a hesitant glance from John, a lingering pause before he leaves a room. Kyle- as you've come to finally learn his first name despite not asking- places your breakfast tray before you with newfound care and no disdainful silence, and Johnny’s meals are cooked to perfection, also a new name you've just so recently been told of. Even Duke Riley himself begins to nod in your direction when he visits, acknowledging your presence in ways he never did before.
But it all feels hollow.
These gestures, once craved, now barely touch you. You are polite, civil, offering faint smiles that do not reach your eyes, acknowledging the changes without truly engaging. Your heart no longer waits at the threshold of their approval; it has found its sanctuary elsewhere, firmly cradled in the hands of a man who has always seen you. Your knight. Your shadow. König.
You walk through the estate, thinking of John’s efforts with a detached air. He invites you to dinners now rather than leave you alone for entire days and nights, his voice gentler, eyes searching for cracks in the walls he helped build. He asks about your day, and you respond with the measured politeness your parents taught you. The warmth he offers now is too late, a sun long set. The flicker of hope in his eyes fades each time you excuse yourself early, your presence like a ghost haunting rooms that no longer feel like home.
König waits for you just beyond the hallways, his presence like a balm to a wound. He falls in step beside you without a word, the weight of his loyalty comforting in a way no amount of decorum could be. He is everything you need- unwavering, fiercely protective, and yours.
In the gardens, beneath a gnarled oak tree, you find moments of peace with him that you could never find within the walls of the estate. You sit together in companionable silence, your shawl and his cape wrapped tightly around you against the evening chill. When you lean against him, pressing your forehead to the cool metal of his armor, you feel his breath hitch. His hand comes to rest at your back, gentle despite the strength he wields.
“I missed you today,” you whisper, your fingers tracing idle patterns over the fabric of his sleeve. It is an admission you would have once swallowed down, but with König, you have no need to hide.
His grip tightens briefly. “I am always here, mylady,” he replies, his voice soft only for you. “You need only call for me.”
“I know.” You close your eyes, listening to the steady thrum of his heart. It beats for you, and that knowledge fills the spaces that loneliness once carved. “You are all I need.”
He shifts then, kneeling before you as he often does, his hands enveloping yours. His gaze is intense, pale eyes searching your face for signs of hesitation, but there are none. “I would give you the world if I could, mylady,” he says, voice low. “But all I have is myself.”
“You are enough,” you say simply, and you mean it. “More than enough. All I could ever want.”
König bows his head, a soft exhale escaping him. “Then I will stay by your side, always.”
The men of the estate still try, fumbling in their newfound efforts to mend what they broke.
John brings you flowers, freshly cut and arranged with care, so you can decorate your drawing room where you occasionally play the harp. You accept them with a polite nod, but they are forgotten in moments, and you go back to asking Konig his opinion on the melody you are playing. Kyle offers to escort you on walks, but you refuse, choosing instead the quiet solace of the garden paths shared with König. Simon’s attempts at conversation are met with cool civility, and Johnny's food largely goes untouched. You allow none of them closer than courtesy demands.
And the gifts received from John and Duke Simon are left untouched. They aren’t much of your style anyways.
But with König, you are different. Soft. Open. You share your thoughts, your fears, the dreams you had long given up on. He listens, always.
One evening, in the safe privacy of your rooms, he rests his head in your lap, a rare moment of vulnerability. You cradle his masked face, tracing the edges of the fabric. You are unafraid of being interrupted; your new maids were quiet and nervous, likely not wanting to be dismissed after the last batch were. You still have no idea how Konig managed to do it, but he spoke to John personally and had them all removed; despite that, you don’t care for their dubious help.
You had made sure to show Konig your appreciation quite thoroughly. Even days later, you swore you could feel how big his hands on your thighs were, keeping you nice and open for his tongue. He'd kept you in that position even when a knock had sounded and someone had entered, but the knowledge of what was going on only sent a sharp thrill of excitement through you.
Still, pettily, you hoped it'd been John who had seen you in the throes of pleasure.
Not right now, Duchess. Not right now.
“Are you tired, my love?” you ask gently, the term of endearment slipping out so naturally it catches even you by surprise, earlier thoughts pushed aside. Still, you have no desire to take it back.
He stills, breath caught. “Say it again. Please.”
“My love.” You smile, leaning closer to press your forehead against his. “You are my love.”
His hands tighten around yours, trembling. “I have always been yours.”
And you believe him. In the warmth of his embrace, you find what the others could now never give- a place where you are cherished, where you are enough. The rest of the estate watches you drift further away, their regret too heavy to shift the chasm that now lies between you. You are beyond their reach, ensconced in a love that was never born out of duty but out of genuine care.
In one of those quiet moments beneath the moonlit sky, after a tiring day of going between appointments and lawyers, you ask him, “Will you take me far from here one day, König? Somewhere far away, where I am free?”
“When you are ready, Liebling,” he promises without hesitation, pale eyes earnest. “I will take you wherever you wish to go.”
The world around you may continue its attempts to pull you back in, but it is too late. Your heart belongs only to the man who has always been your refuge, your shadow, your light. And with him, you finally feel free. König, König, König- and no one else.
#cod x reader#cod#noona.asks#cod x you#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x you#cod imagines#john price x reader#noona.writes#simon ghost riley x reader#konig x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#poly!141 x reader#poly 141 x reader#poly!141#poly 141#simon ghost x you#kortac x reader#simon ghost riley x you#john price x you#soap x reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#soap x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#kyle gaz x reader#ghost x reader
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₊ ˙ ⊹ . 𝓑𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓𝒔. NEUVILLETTE. WRIOTHESLEY ₊ ˙ ⊹ .
ৎ୭ — · · 1.8k ノ afab gn reader — inappriopriate use of work desk and work chair. semi public space — their office. no one is getting caught. petnames — love, beloved, darling. rewritten old post!
₊ ˙ ⊹ . NEUVILLETTE ノ
“Monsieur Neuvillette, if someone walks in…” You try to negotiate weakly, but his eyes are closed and lips parted, his hands resting on your hips, guiding your movements. He’s sitting on his chair in his office; you’re in his lap, riding him.
How did this happen? You cannot think of it anymore, mind hazy and compliant ideas flowing out of your mind in the rhythm of his pelvis colliding with yours. In the middle of the day, to perform such activities is beyond improper — who would even think of assuming that the Iudex is busy urging you to continue impaling yourself on his leaky cock?
Not even an hour has passed since you entered your workplace, and he already has you on top of him, bouncing on his thighs, moaning into his shoulder, trying not to get too loud.
He’s not helping, not one bit, whispering obscene words into your ear, his grip tight, his girth stretching you so wonderfully, his breath shaky and hot, his chest pressed against your back.
You’re slipping away from the realm of consciousness at the sensation of him so deep inside of you, rubbing confessions of love against your inner walls with each languid roll to match your weakening moves. You don’t care about the consequences, the potential gossip, or the risk of getting caught.
It doesn’t matter anymore. He is now busy with you, and you let him do it all simply because his touch is addicting and his shaft is hitting places that make your brain fuzzy.
Surely, there must be a way to ensure your privacy in his office, at least to a sufficient extent. His grunts are so manly, just a tone lower than his usual whispers, and his lips leave a burning trace on your neck. He must feel rather confident in this situation.
“They will not see. I don’t want to risk showing you to anyone else,” he explains softly, his warm breath fanning your skin and his fingers gripping your waist. “I have the most beautiful darling in the world in my office, and I am lucky enough to enjoy you. I want to do it at my own pace, without distractions.”
Your heart skips a beat at his praise, and you feel your cheeks getting warm, cunt clenching around his delicious girth at the thought of being complimented like that. Seeing how Neuvillette takes you so lewdly, the sounds of your bodies filling the beautiful room lit with the early noon sunbeams.
“Ngh—! I beg you, Neuvi—” you sigh, burying your face in the crook of his neck, feeling his heartbeat pulsing on your skin, your arms wrapped around his torso.
His fingers trace circles on your lower back, his hips lifting up just an inch above the seat to meet yours, the poor chair under you both creaking with every thrust as his cock reaches your dewy depths. He’s not going rough, but rather slow and passionate, making you melt under his touches, your drenched pussy twitching around him, welcoming him each time anew.
Perhaps unnecessary to add — quite obvious, if you reevaluate his personality — but he’s not the kind of man who takes you quickly. He prefers to take his time and savour every moment, making sure that you know what you mean to him. Not a hopeless romantic, not in this meaning, but his love language is on a whole different level than of any mortal, making you cry tears of ecstasy and pleasure every time he claims you in a similar manner.
“Good… You’re so delectable and outstanding,” he murmurs, sounding so tender, a distinct contrast to his previous rhythm, the change of pace unexpected but welcomed. “I will let you come soon, alright? Will you cum for me, beloved?”
He asks so kindly, like a gentleman brushing his lips along the shell of your ear. The combination of his sweet pleas — nothing that could even be called a dirty talk — and the endearments he uses to address you send shivers down your spine, making your toes curl in a rush of affection.
“Yes, I will. Of course, I will,” you answer, grinding against him harder, trying to find the perfect angle to reach the vertiginous peak of delirium.
“My pretty, pretty darling,” he continues, and his words alone send you over the edge.
You arch your back, moaning his name, riding out your orgasm on his shaft, trembling in his arms. His hands move down your waist and grab your ass, digging into the supple flesh. He keeps you pressed tightly to his hips, the tip of his cock nuzzling against your womb. Just once, a shy kiss to bring you to the finale as your fluttering walls squeeze his whole girth in spasms.
The warmth spreading from his groin and the pressure building announce the impending release, following not long after you. Neuvillette bites his lip, stifling a loud groan, whilst burying his face into your chest, like he’s seeking a safe embrace during the moments of the highest sensitivity. His hips stutter with spurts of hot, creamy cum spilling inside your pussy, filling you to the brim, dripping down his length as he tries to push into you for the last few times.
“Ohh, monsieur—” you weep, such a saccharine sound reaching his ears, when you try to lift yourself off his lap, too weak to actually do this and giving up to sink into his arm once again.
“Yes, my love? Are my words that much of a blessing?” his voice is ragged, a wee decoloured from the perfect tone, but smiling nevertheless.
₊ ˙ ⊹ . WRIOTHESLEY ノ
You accidentally yelp, the sound immediately causing the crumpled tie to be put into your mouth with force. But are you really sorry for breaking the promise of being silent? If disobeying only results in you being pounded faster and deeper by Wriothesley, the Duke of the Fortress of Meropide, where are the bad consequences?
Isn’t that exactly what you wanted to achieve, anyway?
“Shh, little thing,” he mutters, his voice a low whisper, a dangerous growl that sends shivers down your spine. “I told you not to be too loud. I would hate if anyone interrupted our little meeting.”
He doesn’t have to look at you to know that his words have their effect on you. He can feel you twitch around his length, squeezing him so tightly he needs to exhale deeply to control himself from cumming immediately after. The friction is so delicious whilst his cock pounds against your fluttering walls, sinking into the warm tightness.
The sounds of your sweet, debauched sobs are muffled by the fabric he shoved between your salivating lips, so there’s not much you can do about the overwhelming pressure building up from your underbelly. The very confirmation of your state are your juices creaming his balls and creating a wet patch on his thighs.
The Duke is a man of honour, more or less, and his promises are true. He told you not to moan, not to scream, not to beg for more, and here he is — pushing his whole girth into your needy hole in a punishing rhythm, pounding into you with all the force he has.
But, again, are you sorry? Not even one bit, especially when his pelvis hits the curve of your ass, the impact sending sparks of pleasure through your whole body.
However, knowing that he may leave you unsatisfied is enough not to tease him any more and to obey the only rule he has set for you from now on.
It’s difficult to imagine what it must have felt like to see you bent over his desk, picking up stamped documents, the perfect angle and curvature of your silhouette accentuated with the dimmed light. And now you are paying the price — the sweet, sweet consequence of your sultry subconcious teasing.
He’s been stressed, dissatisfied. On edge for a while, ever since that previous issue in the Fortress, and seeing the work piling up in the corner of his office wasn’t helping. Thankfully, at the very moment he has you flat on his working space, his cock buried deep in your hole, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, and everything is so much better. Well, nearing painful, the pleasure so intense, and yet, his strong, rough hands gripping your hips and forcing your body to meet his are the best feeling you could ever hope for.
Driven by lust, fucking you like his life depends on it, his veiny shaft hits spots that make your eyes roll back in ecstasy. He’s not a gentle lover. No, not even a bit. His breathing is ragged, his usually spiky hair now sticking to his sweaty forehead, his collar shirt soaked around his neck.
Alas, who can blame him? He’s been deprived of his daily dose of intimacy and finally getting what he desires. The sound of his hefty erection ramming into you fills the room, his shuddering thighs slamming against your own in a feral dance. One slip up, one tiny mistake, and he will leave you without a satisfying ending; thus, you try your best to stay silent, his orders still echoing in your head.
“Yes, lovely, just like that,” his praises are whispered right into your ear, his lips brushing against your feverish skin, the heat radiating from your bodies.
Wriothesley adores this sight.
The taste of your lips, the scent of your arousal, the vice grip of your pussy swallowing his cock, the damp sounds of your juices mixing with his precum…
It seems so trivial, as if your fucked-out brain is mocking you for even thinking about this. But all you can hear is his soft moans and curses under his breath, and all you can feel is him sinking into your warmth over and over again, splitting you open.
A broken man with his own morals, and he has his own way of expressing affection. Sometimes, it’s sweet and tender lovemaking, and sometimes, it’s rough fucking on his desk, and sometimes he will simply eat you out in the dark corner of the Fortress. Regardless, it always ends with your breathless voice telling him how amazing he was, and then the soft giggles once the adrenaline and the heat die down.
“Endure it just a little bit longer,” he purrs, and his voice sounds so raspy, his accent stronger, his words laced with addictive affection.
That little game of being quiet or getting caught by the people passing by — well, he didn’t lie about it, did he?
#—writing.#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact smut#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin smut#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#neuvillette smut#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x you#wriothesley smut
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but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore
#also known as 'he wants so badly to run away with his boyfriend and marry him and live happily ever#after'#but his commitment to dutch and the gang breaks his heart#i want them to be happy SO BAAAD SO BAD IM GOINGN TO THROW YP#also the top right one comes w a headcanon#which is that kieran can only bathe if javier is there (and only javier) because otherwise he's too terrified of being k*lled for either bei#ng trans or just in general because he's alone#so that's why he's usually stinky#he really hates being stinky but he doesn't consider it worth dying over#anyway i love them so bad and their little fishing dates#kieran infodumps the whole time and javier feels so lucky to be alive because he knows kieran doesn't talk around anyone else near as much#if at all#javier knows 99% of the fish knowledge but he never interrupts and is always happy to listen to kieran yap about every other topic too#i need to put javi in an 'i ❤️ my autistic boyfriend' shirt#ok i'll shut up now#also i know this composition looks like total shart i'm literally the worst at doing them </3 be nice to me#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#am i allowed to say that i own this ship#considering i literally made it LOL i feel so proud even tho it also makes me miserable that i bascially have no one to talk to abt them#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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I'm super flattered that I'm getting tagged in these things, thank you @lemonlimecrystal-blog, I love learning about people :]
favorite color(s): green, blue, and dark red !
favorite flavor(s): umami (but I do tend to like sweet and savory flavors equally)
favorite genre(s): although I typically write romance, it is actually my least read genre in everyday life, I loved sci-fi and fantasy as a child (ie. Tolkien/Heinlein) but more recently have loved speculative/historical fiction. I haven't read much gothic fiction but every book in that genre I have read I quite liked + any good short story !
favorite music: jazz, folk, indie/indie pop, but I will always have room in my heart for classical...
favorite movie(s): life is beautiful (1997), the princess bride (1987), pride and prejudice (BBC's version as well as the 2005 remake), little women (1994 and 2019) and several others …
favorite series: I didn't grow up watching television, but I do remember liking Anne With An E !
last song: dreams - 2004 remaster by fleetwood mac lol
last movie: I think it might have been white chicks actually -_-
currently reading: I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman
currently watching: I don't really watch tv but I did just watch over the garden wall
currently working on: arranged marriage Nanami pt. 3, chapter 2 of my angsty Satoru series, + I am also outlining a dramione fic rn which I know is crazy and maybe even a oneshot for Bakugou? Oh, and of course the conclusion of dog-sitter toji !
Absolutely no pressure and totally non-committal tagging, you have no obligation to do this, and also I'm sorry if you've already been tagged, I wanted to open the floor to some of my lovely mutuals as well as some blogs I love + anyone interested in joining !
@everythingseasoning, @enchi-ladass, @makuzume, @satoruxx, @tearzintheclub, @textmel8r, @aakeysmash, @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat, and of course, @thatdesklamp
Ask & Answered!
tagged by @toastdarling 🌸 thank you!
◈ TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!
favourite colour(s): every shade of blue
favourite flavour(s): cinnamon, cherry, teriyaki
favourite genre(s): fantasy, magical realism, mystery
favourite music: honestly I'll listen to pretty much anything, from hard rock to classical music, but I have a special preference for 80s hits and Japanese indie
favourite movie(s): Pride and Prejudice (2005), Howl's Moving Castle, Shrek 2
favourite series: Good Omens, One Piece, Haikyuu!!, Gravity Falls
last song: Your body is a weapon by The Wombats
last movie: Glass Onion
currently reading: The house in the cerulean sea by TJ Klune
currently watching: One Piece, Buddy Daddies
currently working on: in a creative sense, working on a zosan royal au fic, several fanart pieces and a few fantasy au concepts I'm excited about; in a personal sense, working on my insecurities, hoping to improve my lifestyle by trying sports for the first time (kendo, specifically!) and studying for a competitive exam
@goldenandhappy @ftld42 @bryttdaffodil @doremiinas @ats0mi @mafuwara @miyakiyoomii @heart-cores @omiishii
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friction | reader (f) x crush!nanami pt. 10
pairing: reader (f) x crush!nanami
synopsis: [AU] you have always had a crush on nanami. since the day you were hired as his personal assistant, you've been right at his side combating numbers and making money within the finance department for the company you two worked for. but, things take a turn when nanami catches wind of your feelings, and rejects you. little did he know the weight of his mistake.
warnings: angst, heartbreak, sexual tension, jealousy (future smut)
a/n: wow here's me with a fast part out! im already working on part 11 so don't you worry! i believe i tagged everyone who requested to, but pls feel free to yell at me in my askbox if i missed you! next chapter is gonna be... fun ;) just wanna say, your replies/reactions/reblogs make my heart sing and it makes me smile lots
all parts: pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9,
December | Tokyo, Japan | Sunday
You woke up to the sounds of coughing and beeping.
The subtle creaks of wheels being rolled, with voices left and right, both tones of urgency and concern. Through your blurred image, you knew for a fact you were no longer home. Lights brighter than the moon blinded you from above. You decide to use your hands to give you context, feeling this holed yet weighted blanket covering your body. As you moved, you felt wires tickle your arms, with some tugging from restriction.
“What…” you murmur to yourself, groaning in pain. The moment you shifted for comfort was when you realized you were in the hospital. Gurneys are as unforgeable to your back as spikes, and even then you’d probably respect the spikes more. They don’t pretend to not be uncomfortable. Finally rubbing your eyes, you look around, finding Nanami right beside you, eyeing your drip that was overhead you. “Nana…?”
It was almost consequential whenever you said his name. Once he hears your voice, those enticing hazel eyes find their way to burn into your own. Although you felt much better, the sudden pressure of his gaze forced a few coughs out of you. Seeing this, Nanami quickly held your forearm, his expression dressed with concern.
“Are you still feeling unwell?” Nanami asks quickly. “Should I call for a nurse?”
You shake your head, waving your free hand weakly, “I feel fine, please.” You begin to adjust yourself to sit up, noticing as Nanami stood up in order to hold you by your elbows. Rough, calloused hands delicately assist you as you sit yourself up. The faint, nauseating feeling you had prior to going unconscious vanished. “Thank you,” you murmur, quietly clearing your throat which was in long desire for some hydration.
“Ah, here.” Nanami reached over for a water bottle by the provided table, snapping the cap open while slowly passing it to you. You grab the bottle from him and begin to down it, the cooling relief surfing down your throat. Few streams of water escape from your lips, feeling the cold sensation go down your jaw and neck. But, it is kindly wiped away from a napkin, as Nanami dabs it dry. “Don’t drink so hastily, Y/N. You’re not in a rush anywhere, are you?”
“Yes I am,” you hiss after finishing half the water. “I need to go home. Now.”
“Y/N, you’re running a 39.4°C (103°F) fever, and you were incredibly dehydrated,” Nanami says in a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone. He tugs carefully at your IV drip, “this is your third bag.”
You cross your arms over your chest and look away with a stubborn hmph. As you distantly looked towards the window and into the Tokyo night, you realized immediately that Nanami brought you to the hospital. Meaning, he was there when you passed out. Also meaning that… his confession may have been part of your fever. Perhaps the delusion of his confession may have just been a dream. Or a sweet nightmare.
“What happened?” You pondered quietly, anticipating that he’d answer your indirect question.
“You fainted,” Nanami answered curtly. Go figure. “So I brought you to the hospital immediately.”
You look over at him, seeing the earnesty in his face. You sucked your teeth mentally, knowing you couldn’t get mad at him over this. “Well… thank you, Nanami kacho. I’m really sorry for the trouble as well.”
Nanami shakes his head, “it’s absolutely no trouble. ‘M just glad you’re awake and well. The doctors were able to calm down that fever pretty quickly, and they simply said you needed more water and rest.”
You nod slowly, “work has been doing a number on me. I might schedule a vacation after the holiday, if that’s alright with you, kacho.”
Nanami, through an annoyed sigh from how you’re addressing him, gives a reluctant nod, “you’ve been working hard this last year. Consider it approved.”
“Thank you,” you let out.
After a moment of silence, Nanami leans forward in his chair, anxious thumbs twiddling around one another. “Y/N, if I may ask… do you remember anything prior to you going unconscious?”
You stare at him pensively, trying to recall memories in his brown eyes. “I remember you coming over with vegetables,” you begin, “and then you were making me soup– oh my god, the soup! Did you–!”
“It’s completely off, don’t worry,” Nanami reassures you. You quickly hold your chest, the sudden panic making your heart go off. “Anything else?”
He was trying to itch it out of you. “I believe that was it,” you say quickly, “everything else… I think it was just in my head.”
“Like a dream?” Nanami continues.
You nod, “it must have been. The last thing I remember is us on the couch, and you telling me something…” Your cheeks go warm again.
Nanami’s eyes narrow on your expression, curious as to what caused it. “Do you remember what I said?”
Your eyes dart at him, your nerves collecting. You had much more energy than before, sure, but that doesn’t neglect how lightheaded you were from everything. “Um,” you hesitate. You didn’t want to bring it up and embarrass yourself more than you already have. First 2 rejections, and now having to recount something that you were very confident did not happen. “Well, in my mind… I think you were trying to confess to me.”
Nanami nods, “I wasn’t trying to; I did.”
You blink a few times, your mind going blank. Mindlessly, you pinched your forearm, letting out a pained hiss. Nanami quickly holds your damage-dealing hand and looks at you puzzled. “Sorry,” you begin quietly, “I sort of lost my mind there. Sorry to ask you to repeat yourself, but can you say that one more time for me?”
“You were not dreaming, Y/N,” Nanami says forwardly, “I like you.”
The words were golden, but they didn’t reflect with that metallic shine. Your heart jumped for joy, but it was tied down with light weights. This confession, his words… it didn’t quite feel right. Not that you have experience being confessed to, but this didn’t feel like in the dramas you binged at 1 A.M.
You squint at him, skepticism drowning the air. You adjust yourself, facing him as best as you could with the most serious look on your face. Even Nanami looked surprised at your sudden change. “Nanami, you like me?”
Nanami looks at you, feeling as though this was a test, “yes…?”
“Why?” You asked combatively.
But this is a dream come true, no? To be confessed to, to have feelings reciprocated by the man you like and admire so much. To hear him say, ‘I like you,’ and happily begin to date. It was what you wanted, right before your very eyes. But… it didn’t feel as dreamy as it did in your head. He had rejected you twice– what change of heart could a man possibly have so quickly?
“Why do I like you?” Nanami reiterates. You nod. “Well, as you pointed out before, it is not shocking for coworkers to get along so well that they become romantically affiliated.”
“Nanami, that’s in general,” your tongue sharply starts, “with that logic, you could have liked any person you have worked with in the past. My question is why do you specifically like me?”
Nanami’s cheeks hold a peach hue, with a lump in his throat. In this space, with your aura, it felt like an interrogation. Your eyes burned into his soul, and he knew no doctor here could relieve him of such intensity. “W-well, firstly, your eye for detail and how meticulous you are in your work is definitely one reason.”
“Sure,” you hum, unconvinced, “anything else?”
Nanami starts to feel cold, “and, I appreciate that you listen to instructions exactly the way it’s told. You even exceed my expectations and do more than what I tell you.”
“Nanami, I’m sorry,” you tilt your head like a confused dog, “are you trying to tell me that you like me because I do good work?”
“W-well,” Nanami tries to keep his cool, looking down shamefully at his hands. “I’ve never liked someone before. So, forgive me if my standards are… unique.”
“They are unique, I can give you that,” you begin, disappointment laced in your words, “but with what you’re saying… It means that I’m not really unique.”
“That’s simply not true,” Nanami immediately tries to disagree, but you bring him to a complete halt. You raise your hand to him, shutting him up silently. Putting your hand down, you look at him with a sheepish smile.
“Nanami,” you say before letting out a deep, exhausted sigh. “Don’t feel obligated to like me as an attempt to restore how we once were with one another. It’s adding insult to injury, and you don’t have to do that to yourself, either.”
His face goes pale, “but I do like you.”
“So why didn’t you say so before?”
“I already told you; I didn’t realize before,” Nanami’s hands hold onto the corner of your bed, his fingers desperately denting into the barely-foamed mattress.
“So… you didn’t know you liked me,” you began slowly, “and conveniently, you realized you like right after breaking my heart. Am I right?”
“Y/N, you’re taking this out of proportion,” Nanami hums. He quickly adjusts the surrounding curtains, closing all the gaps to mimic some sort of privacy. Taking a seat once more, he looks over to you and raises his eyebrows. “I would never pretend to like someone in order to spare their feelings. That would be a waste of my time.”
“But you like me for lame reasons,” you huff quietly, “you like that I’m a really good assistant to you. That I do my job well, that I don’t require more than a simple instruction. I’m useful, convenient. You like me because I’m doing you a service that you’re literally paying me for.”
“That’s not true,” Nanami counters, “I refused every single assistant until you.”
“Because you’ve eavesdropped and practically did your research on me,” you pointed out. Oh, how eavesdropping got us here…
“You know exactly how I am, Y/N,” Nanami argues quietly. He sits back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. “I do not accept anything less than what should be standard. You exceed that standard, and I’ve had no regrets accepting you as my assistant.”
“If your big reason for liking me is because of the way I work, then I’m not interested,” you reply briefly. “You know nothing else about me besides my work ethic, which is only one part of me.”
Nanami looks at you, uncertain what else to say. You had your arms crossed above your own chest, looking distantly into the cold night. He was taken aback by your cold, avoidant demeanor. It was almost like you didn’t want to accept the reality. But, Nanami had a strong feeling that pressing it would make you shell up even more.
“Let’s be forward with one another,” Nanami says in a low tone. “We seem to go in this back and forth that’s a bit confusing. Why are you upset with me? We… now share the same sentiment.”
You look over at him, seeing the woe and worry in his eyes. You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt in your heart. But you have to remember that your feelings were hurt first. You did the confessing, you took the rejection(s), and you did all the crying. Just because he was saying the things you wanted to hear doesn’t mean it was well timed.
“I don’t accept your confession,” you say simply. “If you didn’t realize you had feelings for me, that means there was a chance where you would have never realized it, and all this would have never happened.”
Nanami looks into your eyes, confidence standing its ground but wavering. He didn't know what to do. Though he knew he liked you, the points you brought up were irrefutable. Though he found you to be beautiful, and appreciated your thoughtfulness, he knew nothing about you or your past. And, with how defensive you now were, Nanami wasn’t too sure that he’d be able to delve into you like a swimmer diving in water.
But, he will absolutely traverse your waters, one way or another. Afterall, he’s a businessman.
“Then what is your offer?” Nanami begins, weaving his fingers between one another. He leaned into you, his head going over the gurney fencing.
“My offer?” You ask, a reticence on your tongue.
“You’re my woman of trade,” Nanami explains, “so, how much time do I have to persuade you that I like you?”
You feel your cheeks burn, “eh?”
“Give me an amount of time to convince you,” Nanami repeats himself, conviction being repaired in his words. “However long it takes, I’ll make it happen. I’ll make us happen.”
You immediately shake your head, “no.”
“Please?” Please? You raised your eyebrows, looking at Nanami. His usual empty scowl was softened, his hazel eyes shining like dew. You could tell he was at his wits end, unsure what else he could do.
As he silently pleaded, you felt a vibration sound on the table where your water bottle is. You look over, noticing your phone case. He follows your eyes and passes the phone to you. Quickly checking it, you casually skimmed an email notification and let out a curt sigh. You lift your head, and meet his eyes once more.
“You have until the end of the Holiday Party,” you offer simply, “but nothing dramatic or theatrical.”
Nanami stares at you, seeing if you were kidding or taking back your words. But you sat solemn. He nods, licking his bottom lip quickly to keep him from smiling. He brings his hand to you.
“Deal?” He says firmly. It felt like he was working, and for a moment even you were worried. Though you were confident in Nanami’s lack of sensibility, you couldn’t deny his businessman tactics and mind.
You slowly place your hand in his, and you feel him gently squeeze your hand. “D-deal.”
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𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 :‹
Pairing: Boyfriend!Heeseung × girlfriend!fem!reader
Synopsis: Another heated argument with you and your boyfriend Heeseung, making it your last straw. You thought it was the end for a while after leaving, until one day..
Genre/warnings: angst to fluff, toxic relationship, a lot of back and forth, idk ok.. | wc: 2k
𝙈𝙖𝙧’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: This has been in my drafts for a while so I had to let it out. I’ve been writing SOOO MUCH HEESEUNG FICS ITS CRAZY omg. I promise diff are coming I’m js so brain dead on what to write and I don’t get requests..😁 Jake ff coming out Friday nov15 for his birthday tho!! anyway go enjoy :>
The argument started innocently enough. You were waiting for Heeseung at a party you’d been planning to attend together, but he never showed. You called, texted, and waited for hours, but he never responded. When you finally got home and found him there, acting as if nothing had happened, something inside you snapped.
“What’s wrong with you?” you demanded, slamming the door behind you. “I waited for you all night, Hee! Do you know how embarrassing it was, standing there by myself while everyone kept asking where you were?”
He looked up from his phone, barely acknowledging your presence. “I told you I wasn’t sure if I could make it.”
“You told me you wanted to be there,” you shot back, anger rising in your chest. “But you didn’t even call, Heeseung! You just left me there, like I didn’t matter at all.”
Heeseung rolled his eyes, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. “Why are you making this such a big deal? It was just one night.”
“Because this isn’t the first time!” Your voice shook as you threw your bag onto the couch, barely able to contain your frustration. “You keep doing this—promising me you’ll show up, then bailing like it’s nothing. Do you even care about this relationship anymore?”
“Here we go again,” he muttered under his breath, but loud enough for you to hear. “You’re always turning everything into a personal attack.”
You clenched your fists, trying to hold back tears of frustration. “Maybe if you actually made an effort, I wouldn’t feel like I have to ‘attack’ you. I’m so tired of being the only one fighting to keep us together.”
Heeseung scoffed, throwing his phone down on the table. “Oh, please. Don’t act like you’re some saint here. You’re always complaining, always finding something wrong with what I do or don’t do. It’s exhausting.”
“Exhausting?” The word stung, and you felt a pang of anger so sharp it made you shake. “So you’re saying I’m exhausting?”
“Yeah, maybe you are,” he snapped, meeting your gaze with a hard look you’d never seen from him before. “Maybe this whole thing is just… too much. You’re always so needy, always wanting more. Maybe I can’t give you what you want.”
Your heart pounded in your chest, the words hitting harder than he knew. “Needy?” you repeated, voice trembling. “I don’t think it’s needy to want the person I love to actually show up for me. But maybe you’re right—maybe I’m asking too much from someone who clearly doesn’t care.”
“Oh, don’t twist this around like I don’t care,” he shot back. “I have my own life, my own problems. Everything doesn’t revolve around you.”
“That’s not fair, and you know it,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “You’re the one who’s been pulling away, Heeseung. You’re the one who’s been acting like I’m some burden you have to carry. I’m just asking you to meet me halfway, but you can’t even do that, can you?”
Heeseung’s expression hardened, and for a moment, you saw something cold flicker in his eyes. “Maybe I don’t want to meet you halfway,” he said, each word cutting deeper than the last. “Maybe I’m tired of pretending like this is something it’s not.”
Your breath caught in your throat, your heart sinking as his words settled over you. “So… what, then? You’re tired of me?”
“Maybe I am,” he said, his tone bitter. “Maybe I’m tired of constantly being made to feel like I’m not enough, like no matter what I do, it’s never good enough for you.”
You felt your chest tighten, a tear slipping down your cheek despite your efforts to hold it back. “I just wanted you to try, Heeseung. To actually care enough to make an effort.”
“And I just wanted you to stop making me feel like a failure,” he shot back, his voice raising. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to constantly feel like you’re not measuring up? You keep pushing and pushing, and it’s like nothing I do will ever be enough for you.”
“Then why didn’t you say that?” you yelled, feeling your anger and heartbreak twisting together into something raw and painful. “Why did you let me keep believing that you wanted this, that you wanted us?”
“Because I thought I did,” he said, voice cracking as he looked away. “But lately… I don’t know. Maybe we’ve both just been holding on to something that isn’t there anymore.”
His words shattered something deep inside you, a pain so intense it felt almost physical. You took a shaky breath, struggling to find the right words. “So that’s it?” you whispered. “You’re just… giving up?”
Heeseung’s gaze softened, but he didn’t move toward you. “I’m just… tired of hurting you,” he said quietly. “And tired of feeling like I’m the problem. I can’t keep doing this.”
You looked away, unable to bear the sight of him standing there, so calm, as if he hadn’t just destroyed everything you’d built together. “Fine,” you whispered, barely able to get the words out. “If that’s how you feel… then maybe we shouldn’t keep doing this.”
For a moment, you thought he might say something, that he might reach out, try to fix the damage that had been done. But he didn’t move, didn’t say a word, just watched as you picked up your things and turned toward the door.
“Goodbye, Heeseung,” you said, your voice barely audible as you walked away, each step feeling heavier than the last.
As you closed the door behind you, you realized that you had been holding on to a version of him that no longer existed, a love that had withered in the space between unmet expectations and unspoken resentments. And the realization hurt more than anything he could have said, because now you knew that sometimes love simply isn’t enough.
Weeks had passed since that night, but the pain still sat heavy in your chest, a constant reminder of the words you both threw like daggers. You had told yourself it would get easier—that eventually, you’d stop replaying the fight over and over, picking apart every sentence, wondering if you could have said or done something differently.
But every time you closed your eyes, you could still see him standing there, looking at you with that mixture of anger and something else—something you couldn’t name.
Tonight, you found yourself sitting in a quiet café, stirring a mug of coffee you hadn’t touched. You’d come here hoping the change of scenery would help, but all it did was bring memories crashing back, drowning you in thoughts you had been trying so hard to escape. And then, as if fate had a cruel sense of humor, the doorbell chimed, and there he was.
Heeseung.
He hadn’t seen you yet, and you almost turned away, almost gathered your things to leave before he noticed. But some part of you—maybe it was the part that hadn’t stopped missing him, the part that still ached for him despite everything—stayed rooted in place.
As if sensing your presence, Heeseung looked up, his eyes widening slightly when they met yours. For a moment, neither of you moved, both frozen in the shared silence. Finally, he took a breath and walked over, his steps hesitant, as if he, too, was unsure of how this would go.
“Hey,” he said, his voice softer than you remembered, almost as if he were afraid of breaking something fragile.
“Hi,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper.
He sat down across from you, and for a moment, the two of you just sat in silence, both unsure of where to start. The tension was thick, memories of the fight still hanging heavily between you.
“I… I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
“I didn’t expect to see you, either,” you replied, your tone guarded.
Heeseung looked down at the table, then back up at you, his eyes searching yours. “I’ve been thinking about… that night. About the things we both said.”
A lump formed in your throat, and you swallowed hard, nodding slightly. “Me too,” you admitted, voice trembling.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, his gaze never leaving yours. “I know that’s probably hard to believe after everything, but… I never wanted things to end up like that.”
“Then why did you let it get to that point?” you whispered, the hurt and confusion you’d been carrying pouring out before you could stop it. “Why didn’t you just talk to me, Heeseung? Why did you make me feel like I was the problem?”
He sighed, looking down at his hands. “Because… because I didn’t know how to tell you that I was struggling. I thought I was supposed to handle everything on my own, and I didn’t want to burden you with my issues. But in trying to protect you, I pushed you away, and that’s on me.”
His admission cracked something open inside you, and you felt a surge of conflicting emotions—relief, sadness, anger. “I would’ve been there for you, Heeseung. All I wanted was to be there for you.”
“I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I realize that now. I just… I guess I was scared. Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of letting you see the parts of me that I’ve always tried to hide.”
You felt a tear slip down your cheek, but you didn’t bother to wipe it away. “You didn’t have to be perfect for me, Heeseung. I never wanted that. I just wanted you.”
He reached out hesitantly, his hand hovering over yours, and for a moment, you thought he might pull back. But then, slowly, he took your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours, warm and familiar.
“I don’t know if I can fix what I broke,” he said quietly, his eyes full of regret. “But… if there’s still a part of you that wants to try, I’d do anything to make it right.”
You looked down at his hand, the memories of all the times you’d held each other, all the promises you’d once shared. Part of you wanted to say yes, to let yourself fall back into the warmth of him, to believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different this time.
But another part of you remembered the pain—the nights spent wondering if you were enough, the feeling of constantly fighting to hold onto someone who kept slipping away.
“I don’t know if I can trust you again, Heeseung,” you said, voice breaking. “You hurt me so much. I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
His grip on your hand tightened slightly, desperation flashing in his eyes. “I know I messed up, and I know it might take a long time to earn back your trust. But if there’s even the smallest part of you that thinks we could make this work… I promise I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Silence settled between you, thick with emotion, as you weighed his words. You knew that forgiveness wouldn’t come easily, that the scars from that night would always be there, etched into your heart. But looking at him now, at the vulnerability in his eyes, you saw a glimpse of the Heeseung you’d fallen in love with—the one who had once made you feel like you were his whole world.
Taking a shaky breath, you met his gaze. “If we do this… it can’t be like before. We both have to be honest with each other, even when it’s hard. No more hiding, no more pretending.”
He nodded, a look of relief washing over his face. “I promise,” he said, his voice full of conviction. “No more hiding.”
Slowly, cautiously, you let yourself smile, a small glimmer of hope flickering in your chest. It would be a long road, full of challenges and doubts, but for the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you could find your way back to each other.
And this time, you’d fight for each other—together.
Reblogs and feedback appreciated, thank u ! DIVIDER CREDITS: @anitalenia
[ marsdql ]
#enhypen#enhypen fanfiction#kpop#enha#enha x reader#enhypen fluff#enha ff#enha fluff#enha smau#enhypen ff#enhypen smau#heeseung fanfiction#lee heeseung fanfic#heeseung ff#lee heeseung x y/n#heeseung x reader#heeseung fluff#heeseung fanfic#heeseung smut#lee heeseung#heeseung#heeseung angst#heeseung au#lee heesung x reader#lee heesung smut#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung soft hours#heeseung soft thoughts#angst#enha fanfic
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Solavellan fic recs please I’m so hungry 🥺🥺
oh I'd love to provide! these have been my personal favorites so far (also fair warning, I am a solavellan fucked in DAI truther and that is reflected in my choices below so your mileage may vary)
Everything by niceasspavus - especially their fic Servitude which is an absolute masterwork. The prose is succinct but spectacular, the smut is excellent and never feels out of place (smut sometimes can with solavellan okay) and they dig into Solas' mind in a really beautiful way. They also started a modern AU fic and while that's not usually my trope at all, I've actually read what they have posted so far like three times because it's so good. Can't wait to see if they grace us with more.
Fellchaser by @rosieofcorona - Okay make that literally anything Darcy touches I recommend but Fellchaser is...I want to plaster my walls with it. The walls of my mind prison at least. The first time I read it, I literally read it five times back to back to back (I was admittedly very high but that's NOT THE POINT) because I was so taken with the prose and every detail. It is absolute perfection, seriously, the only thing wrong with it is that it isn't 100k words
What He Wouldn't Give by sugarhihello - a devastating take what happens immediately after the Crestwood scene we know and hate to love. I'm scared of writers who can make me want more of a scene like that and yet this fic gives me that
The Waiting by say_lene - solavellan thigh riding, need I say more?
Even Gods Need Miracles by callmebecks - A study of Solas' mindset from DAI to now include the DAV ending.
A Field as Wild as Your Heart by lillith_morgana - An exceptional take on the solavellan ending/post-DAV with gorgeous prose
Dreadful Recollections by @scaryanneee - if you know me from the bg3 era at all, you know Think of Me is a smut of all time so scaryanne joining us in solavellan hell has been SO FUN (for me personally at least eheheh) This little smut is so brilliant because it truly gave me so many ideas to play with for my own ship during this time period while also being so hot??? Also just read the tags on this and you know you're in for a great time
Handle With Care by feynite - I'm sure you've seen feynite if you've looked at solavellan fics because Looking Glass is the biggest one but I think this is just a really excellent little fic of theirs. Sad AND sexy - what every Solas fan is looking for I think
solavellan moots, please feel free to add on - I'm always looking for more and I'm sure others are too! anon - hope this gave you some tasty morsels and feel free to come back if you need more! xoxox
#fic recs#solavellan fic recs#solavellan hell#asks#solas x lavellan#solas dragon age#solas x inquisitor#solavellan#dragon age
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that’s a fair point. i’m envisioning something of a gift economy, so for example your table could be made to your specifications by someone who just, has the skills and materials necessary to do so, because you need a table and they can provide that, with no exchange necessary. i’m not necessarily thinking of mass-produced, well, anything—at most, artisans could spend their time making as many unique tables (or whatever) as they want and people would still be able to browse their stock. my point is that there would be little use for money if everyone was willing to give freely, and all of us would have more freedom to put personality, or our heart and soul or whatever, into whatever it is we’re each good at making, if we were more focused on providing for ourselves and the people nearest us as needed, instead of being focused on making money.
either way, money or no money, we can and should all agree on one thing: wealth inequality needs to go, and by any means necessary, if we want even a small chance at reducing the amount of suffering and evil in the world. money could stay or go, depending on what a free and equitable society would look like.
i definitely doubt money would be phased out in my lifetime, tbh, even if inequality was no more right now immediately, but i also doubt it would still exist for, say, 7 generations out from the death of wealth inequality. i think that the longer society went without inequality, the less people would really expect or even need something in return for providing goods and services, but i could certainly be wrong. i have no experience with that kind of society to say anything about it with certainty, we all can only pose hypotheticals.
maybe i simply give too many people the benefit of the doubt, since i personally would not care about getting anything in return for something i don’t need (like a table i made because i like and am good at making tables, or clothes/blankets i crocheted to have something to do) if i did not need anything i didn’t have, or if i could trust that my needs would be met by others around me with a similar indifference to being paid back.
fairness is certainly subjective, and in a world where i didn’t have to have money to buy food and water and to rent a home, i would see taking items off my hands that i don’t need, that are just taking up space in my home as a fair trade: my items for just the space in my home that is required to store them. and i say this as someone who grows food and crochets clothes and blankets, so i do know the work it takes to make necessary goods. it is also vital to have space to store those goods in order to keep a clean house, and sometimes you just want to make a pair of gloves even though you already have a ton of them and don’t need or have the space for more.
not everyone has the same attitude as me, but i do wonder if the attitude that everything must be paid back with something material and tangible is simply inherent to some people, or if it is cultivated by growing up in a society which requires trade for everything and does not allow everyone’s needs to be met. but that’s a question with no firm answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
and ultimately, the continued existence or gradual phasing-out of money is kind of besides the point anyway, since money isn’t the problem, wealth and power dynamics are. either vision for society would still be ideal, as long as everyone has their needs met and no one gets to live a ridiculously lavish life that is inaccessible to everyone else
I don't think that money is actually the root of all evil like if we got rid of money there would still be stuff to hoard inequality still existed before the invention of money
Money is quite a useful tool for doing business with people you don't know. And real billionaires don't just have a gigantic Scrooge McDuck sized pile of coins they're sitting on. They're hoarding housing, the means of production, imaginary value taken out in investment. This system would be just as bad if we were all paid out in quantities of rice or something.
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