#but even then it’s like bro but why r u trying THAT hard to keep her alive

[radiaking]

Bg3 Coop is literally so funny. He’ll be out here like “I will lay down my life for that silly bitch with the gigantic fucking eyes” and insist for 2 whole acts that there’s no deeper reason than her leading him to moldaver.

[noveauskull]

Tysm for feeding us with ur wuwa smut fics bro <33 and btw since requests r open as u said, can u pls write the NSFW reaction of wuwa men when their fem s/o is always half-naked when their both home alone?? Lol, and if they ask why their s/o is so relaxed to just roam and walk around their private home nearly naked, s/o just shrugs her shoulders and says something like: “We’re a couple, now— are we not? I don’t see the problem here.” EHHEEHEEHHEHHEHEH >:333 (Again tysmsmmss amd have a good day/noon! 🫶)

How WUWA Men React When You Walk Around The House Half-Naked (NSFW)

characters: jiyan, mortefi, geshu lin, yuanwu, scar, aalto, calcharo x reader

warnings: suggestive behavior, teasing, not really all the way, just a short post, nsfw

-----

Scar:

He doesn't mind when you walk around half naked, matter of fact he'd go walking around half naked with you

You just know that he's purposely trying to hug you just to feel your skin on his

Somehow the two of you would end up fucking

"Why bother wearing clothes at this point?"

Sometimes he even rubs himself on you while you're half naked, sick pervert

He encourages it a lot

-----

Yuanwu:

He's flustered by your confidence, but glad enough you trust him to see your body

Despite being a gentleman, he is still a man, so he'd often times stare at you while having a nice sip of tea

"Aren't you cold?" You were in fact, not cold at all. The only shivers you get is when you feel a pair of eyes on you

Suddenly he's smiling at you and offering you to help him get his glasses in the bedroom

And now he's pinning your hands to your head and kissing you

You didn't mean to be provocative, but it happened anyways

-----

Mortefi:

"WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?"

He's panicked at first but he gets used to it later, a bit of a drama king but when you pointed out on him revealing his chest he just blushes and sighs in defeat

Definitely ogling at you, he especially loves the way he could see your boobs when you're only in your bra

At one point when he stands too close to you he's already pinning you to the wall and kissing you

"If this is your way of teasing me then it's working" He's say while blushing profusely

-----

Jiyan:

He's shocked but he doesn't say anything, instead he just tries to avoid staring at you and hopes you'd out some clothes on

But you don't, you're still in your underwear and it's getting really bad for his heart to see you walking around so freely

When he feels like he wants to talk to you about it, he'll wrap his arms around your waist and make you stare into his eyes and ask you if you were interested in going to bed together to fuck

And of course you say yes, cause he's already slipping his hand down to grope your ass, leaving you no choice

Jiyan likes it when you wear less in front of him

-----

Aalto:

He starts acting like he saw you for the first time and starts flirting with you

You didn't expect him to wrap his arm around you and slip his hand into your bra though

Now he's trying to have a conversation with you while he's teasing your nipple, just so you would get wet

"Oops, almost forgot about my food in the microwave" He stands up and leaves you alone on the couch, wet and confused

But you're definitely gonna keep walking around half naked, that's for sure

-----

Geshu Lin:

"What do you think you are doing?"

He acts like he has a problem with it but when you remind him that its only the two of you and that he's already seen your body suddenly hes fine with it

But he will still complain about it

Eventually he gets tired of complaining and just carries you to bed, telling you that now that he's hard you have to take responsibility for it

Tsundere Geshu Lin?

-----

Calcharo:

He's like a big dog, staring at his owner and wondering what to do or say

For some reason, he'd start putting blankets or towels on you

"Is this a new way to make me turned on?"

Before you know it he's fucking you with the same clothes you had on half naked

He ends up wanting you to walk around the house half naked anyways

-----

A/N: SORRY FOR MAKING IT SHORT ANON I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO DO AND IM PUSHING OUT REQUESTS SO THIS IS PROBABLY NOT SATISFACTORY BUT I HOPE MY OTHER POSTS MAKES IT UP TO YOU 😭😭

[deerlottie]

jackie x insecure!reader? like they just started dating and they’re making out, as one does, of course. and when jackie tries to lift up her shirt or something r just freaks out and jackie comforts her and maybe j ends up soft fucking reader? :3

did half and half with hcs and a blurb because it was easier on my brain :P

jackie is Very insatiable - she really cannot go a day without a mini makeout session, let alone a kiss or the feeling of your hands on her.

she's glued to you constantly bro. always touching you, sometimes missing the little cues you give her that signal ur feeling uncomfy/insecure. but she means well :( she just likes you so much.

she wouldn't understand why you feel so insecure because she thinks you're BEAUTIFUL and so so handsome :( she'd feel horrible if she made you uncomfortable at all, might even pull away for a few days because she feels so bad. i dont think she'd know what to do because she's such a touchy person.

but you miss her simple touches >__<

she's brooding on the couch when you plop into her lap. she's wide eyed and her hands are floating over your sides, scared to touch you and u just think she's so cuteee :(

the makeout session is needy and sloppy, something far more intense than you've ever done with her before.

you freeze as jackie's hands bunch your shirt up, trying to take it off. she continues kissing you for a moment before realizing you're not kissing back. "baby?" you tug your shirt back down, scooting off her lap and fixing your hair. jackie looks to you confused, shifting on her legs and turning to you. her brows furrow before she realizes her mistake, feeling like an asshole. "oh god, i'm sorry." she apologizes, grabbing your hand and kissing it. "i just assumed-" "no, no, i want to...i just-" you cut her off, closing your eyes and sighing. that feeling is rising up in your chest, making it hard to breathe and think, and you hate it. "my brain's being funny."

goddd she'd be so gentle with you :(

small, tiny kisses at first - eyes half open and looking at you for any sign of discomfort as she slowly traces her hands underneath your shirt and along your back.

giving you a couple minutes to relax after she takes off your shirt because she doesn't wanna go straight into it. kisses on your shoulder, where maybe some freckles are, and complimenting how she'd spend hours trying to kiss each individual one.

mumbling how beautiful you look right now as she lays you down on the couch and gets on your lap, her eyes so full of love and sincerity that it almost makes you sick. kissing your stomach and blowing silly raspberries until she gets you to laugh :(

giving your nipples kitten licks before she gets really into it and starts worshipping your body.

makes you hold her hands because you keep trying to hide your face in embarrassment and she's not having it.

"look at me baby, don't think about anything else. just focus on how my lips feel." you don't even know when she took your pants off, but the moment her lips touch your inner thighs has your whole body shuddering. she's giving you messy kisses, not really knowing what she's doing but her eagerness makes up for it. and it feels good. she licks a stripe up your clothed pussy, panting into your cunt as she tastes your sweet wetness. she practically rips your panties off, lazily suckling on your clit and doing a horrible from to keep herself from whining.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

[ma3mae]

No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "�� bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

[mediocre-daydreams]

hello 🫶🏻🫶🏻 can i req a peter parker x stark!reader who r also bffs (with feelings 4 eachother) where both of them have this little game they like to play with eachother where they make up like insane conversations and the other has to follow along until they get tired ?? like “oh you look fine even though you got stabbed by an alien yesterday” “u dont look too shabby for someone who had to give birth to a baby” IDK like anything u want but they didnt know that their conversations were getting overheard by the other avengers and once the avengers come together and talk about it they’re like wait.. why the fuck does it sound like [] have two children at home and are secretly married IDK ANYTHING U WANT BUT AS CRAZY AS POSSIBLE i love crack fics

TYSM <33

— 🦜

i've been putting this off bc i love the idea and want it to be perfect so i stayed up late last night and in my delirious haze i came up with some dialogue prompts and i woke up this morning and found it in my notes so here's the beaut! i lowkey love it thank you 🦜 !!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞

peter parker x stark! reader

summary: at first, you and peter were like "let's see who can uphold the most ridiculous conversations," but bro... you don't think the sexual tension is a joke anymore, and neither do the other avengers.

w/c: 3.1k

notes: crack crack crack, fluff, swearing, many sexual innuendos (and also just jokes about sex outright) and swears (c'mon it's me), mentions of abortions and roe v wade in a humorous context, murder, cannibalism, and foot fetishes in a humorous context, one "ur mom" joke, if it sounds crazy that's because it is crazy and i think u should just read it already

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

you and peter’s friendship was anything but normal. well, you supposed, nothing could ever be normal for the two of us. peter’s an arachnid abomination and i’m the daughter of an egotistical billionaire who cosplays as a flying suit.

there were two ways in which your relationship was unusual. one: the practically nonexistent line between platonic and romantic, which everybody just always had to point out. the two of you had always been a bit touchy-feely—to be fair, mostly with each other, but were you really to blame? you were stuck in a tower full of traumatized assassins, spies, and people in metal suits; it wasn’t like there was any good cuddling options around. peter was a self-described “nerd and loser,” so girls weren’t exactly lining up to cuddle with him either. 

two: you had a game going on (if it could even be called that). peter had a hard time transitioning into an “official” member of the team, so you, being the coolest and closest to his age, tasked yourself with the responsibility of being his friend.

what started as making up nonsensical greetings or coming up with more and more obscure versions of “see ‘ya later, alligator” had spiraled into a competition of who could keep the most ridiculous conversations going.

--

you were sitting beside natasha at the kitchen bar, the two of you nursing copious amounts of black coffee and sporting dark eye bags. (so maybe karaoke with katy and shang-chi on a wednesday night wasn’t the greatest idea you’d ever had.)

peter took a double-take as he made his way towards the fridge, looking perfectly refreshed and wide awake.

“lookin’ good!” peter clicked his tongue at you in greeting, smirking at the scowl on your face. he knew you would’ve flipped him off had you not been holding your drink.

“thanks,” you drawled sarcastically. “i’ve been trying this new diy skincare routine, where you use curdled breastmilk as a face mask for 20 minutes. it’s really helping with my dark circles.”

natasha, the woman who was never caught off guard, was caught off guard.

peter hummed thoughtfully as he poured himself a glass of milk, which he was now losing his appetite for. “20 minutes seems pretty short, don’t ‘cha think? i keep my menstrual blood mask on for at least 35 minutes.”

you scoffed, taking a large swig of your coffee and wincing at its bitterness. “yeah, well you should probably do it for longer. i can see your premature wrinkles forming from here.”

peter slipped into the seat beside you and smiled in greeting to natasha, whose eyes were bleary and unfocused. peter turned to shove his face close to yours.

“hm, maybe you should try juice cleansing. your skin is looking awfully dull today, unlike mine, which is dewey and radiant.”

you rolled your eyes. “sure, dude. look at your birdnest for hair.” you tangled your fingers through his mess of curls and scratched his scalp. peter couldn’t hide the content groan that slipped from his mouth.

“if my skin is dull, your hair is practically straw. unlike mine, which is easy, breezy, beautiful: covergirl.” you made a big show of preening your bedhead.

natasha made gagging noises. “alright, you two are disgusting. in more ways than one. can you please stop, because i’m so hungover right now and i will not hesitate to aim my projectile vomit onto one of your faces.”

you and peter looked at each other with big grins. peter shot finger guns at natasha. “eyy, that’s the spirit!”

--

you and peter found it especially funny to start these sorts of conversations in front of steve and bucky. not only were the two perplexed by modern lingo, they were also the most gullible two people on the team, which made them easy targets.

bucky and steve exchanged testosterone-fuelled jabs at each other in the sparring ring as you tied your shoelaces as peter sprayed his face with water. the two of you listened to the grunts of exertion and the various gruff noises that filled the air to appease the two supersoldiers’ masculinities.

you sighed, stretching your sore arms. you and peter had been fooling around with the gym equipment for an hour now, waiting for bucky and steve’s match to finish (and it didn’t look like either of them planned on backing down anytime soon). with a final tug on your shoelaces, you looked up at peter curiously, who blushed at your wide, innocent eyes. or perhaps he was just red from the exercise.

“you smell really good,” you commented, bumping your shoulder against his. “what cologne do you use?”

peter paused to consider his response. “it’s… my au naturale body odor. it’s cruelty free and uh, vegan.”

“that’s so earth conscious of you!” you gushed, running a warm hand up and down peter’s arm. though he was sweaty, gross, and overheated, he shivered at your touch.

“y-yeah. i haven’t showered in three weeks. it really enhances the… musky base notes of the scent. it’s very masculine,” he nodded as if he knew what he was talking about.

“well, it’s very aromatic. i like it.” you patted peter’s bicep definitively, jumping to your feet as you bent in half to stretch out your limbs. peter stared at your ass toned calves, and thought that he should work on his legs as well.

“oh hey, it looks like bucky and steve are done!” you pointed at the two heaving supersoldiers, who had stopped fighting altogether so they could stare at you and peter.

bucky mouthed “what the fuck?” to steve. steve mouthed “language” back.

--

peter was busy scrawling illegible physics notes as he, tony, and bruce watched planet earth intently. bruce was busy jabbering away at the “incredible biological discoveries” that david attenborough was narrating, and tony was absentmindedly filing his nails while occasionally poking peter in the back with his toe to correct him on a mistake he’d written.

“hey dad. bruce.” you caught sight of peter’s unmistakable form, hunched over the glass coffee table with papers scattered haphazardly across the surface and a bulletpoint pen between his teeth tha you found very seductive endearing.

“hey peter!” you squeaked. “it’s- uh, fancy seeing you here!” you blurted, cheeks heating as peter turned to you with his cute stupid fucking glasses.

“hey,” he raised his eyebrows. “you come here often?” peter purred lowly.

you gulped, unsure as to why he was bothering you so much today. maybe your period had come early.

“no, actually. i was stopping by to meet my real estate agent here; i’m loving this property,” you played along, tucking yourself into peter’s side.

“ah, well, they’re not here at the moment. i think they got stopped at security—something about smuggling exotic animals. but i could be your tour guide, if you want? i’m very… thorough.” peter waggled his eyebrows.

david attenborough began discussing whale mating habits.

“oh, are you now?” you challenged, biting your lip smugly as you watched peter began to stutter.

“y-yes, i am. and, as a matter of fact,” peter turned to pull something from his pocket. he presented you with a microfiber cloth. “i’m such a gentleman, i’ll even clean you up after.”

peter’s head was suddenly slammed into the glass table. tony had rammed his foot (not just the toes) against peter’s curls.

“stop sexing up my daughter, spiderling. i’ll take out your suit’s built-in heater.”

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, mr. stark,” peter sputtered.

you giggled at his immediate change in attitude. leaning in, you murmured into his ear. “me, you, my bedroom, nine pm. i’d like that thorough tour.”

neither of you were sure if the offer was genuine.

--

sam had invited the team to a backyard party with his family, but not without warning everybody to watch their language around the kids. (it was an empty threat; everyone knew sam would be the first to slip up.)

you were “chatting” with a little kid; in other words, nodding along as they infodumped about cretaceous period with surprising expertise for a 5 year old.

you felt a poke in your side and screamed embarrassingly loudly. peter stared at you for a second, cheeks puffing and lips pinching together, before he burst into laughter. spit went flying all over your face.

“ew, you nasty! eugh,” you made a big deal of it. looking at the kid, you pointed at peter. “c’mon, let’s attack him! like a… brachiosaurus!”

the kid looked at you disdainfully. “the brachiosaurus was a herbivore, idiot. and it lived during the jurassic era, not the cretaceous period.”

your jaw dropped at the child’s betrayal. the mini-paleontologist toddled away, leaving you and peter dumbfounded.

“i sure missed a lot,” peter gaped.

“i- apparently, yeah.” you tucked your head into peter’s shoulder, fiddling with your empty plate. conversation buzzed steadily around you, but you and peter only cared about each other.

the two of you sat in comfortable silence, watching as sam teased his sister and as wanda was unsuccessfully trying to teach bucky how to use a pair of tongs. (bucky insisted that his vibranium hand could do the same job.)

“so, how many of those things have you eaten?” peter pointed his chin towards your empty plate.

“uh, approximately four.”

peter nodded approvingly. “four’s pretty good. you still hungry though? i could go for some food right now.”

you smiled evilly, untangling yourself from peter. “oh petie… i’m always hungry. i was skeptical at first, but damn, do these barbeque grilled fetuses hit. they’re gluten free, i think.” 

you stood up and yelled over the table to sam. “hey, are these things gluten free?” you pointed to where wanda and bucky were tussling over the grill.

sam looked at you incredulously. “no?” 

you turned back to peter. “well, you heard the man. at least they’re ethically sourced, though. better eat up quick, before roe v. wade gets overturned. fuck scotus.”

“yeah, fuck scotus. i’m all for womens’ sexual liberation. anyway, once you’re done, can you fuck me too?” peter deadpanned.

you choked. “oh, wow. you got me that time. i concede. i-”

--

“so, what’ja do for your art project?” you and peter were entwined on a common area armchair, you resting casually on peter’s lap with one hand pressed to his chest and peter’s arms pulling you even closer to his body.

“i made a collage of my feet pics.”

“huh.” you nuzzled your nose into the collar of peter’s shirt, taking a deep inhale of his cologne (his actual cologne, not his au naturale body odor). “for free?”

“what?” peter, much like everybody else in the room (who were all clearly listening but pretending not to.)

“i mean, you’re showing your feet pics for free? you’re spiderman, pete. you could charge so much for them. here, you can use my onlyfans account.” you began to pull out your phone.

“DAUGHTER?” tony roared from the couch diagonal to the two of you. whoops.

“…father?”

“can somebody tell me why my pure, uncorrupted, virtuous daughter is in the lap of a hormonal, horny teenage boy? god knows what the white sticky stuff actually is…” tony cursed under his breath. “and would somebody like to explain why the words onlyfans, peter parker, and feet pics are being used in the same sentence and coming out of my daughter’s mouth?” 

you cringed at all the innuendos (intentional and unintentional) that tony had just dropped in front of nearly the entire team.

bruce choked on the sandwich he was eagerly chowing into. natasha choked on air. wanda was biting back a mischievous smile and steve looked like he was about to faint.

bucky leaned over to sam and loudly whispered, “what’s an onlyfans?”

--

friday rolled around, which meant it was time for the avengers’ weekly family bonding event. this week, it was movie night. wanda and natasha were clapping enthusiastically as sam and bucky danced along to the jingle bell rock winter talent show performance, which meant you and peter could snuggle up to each other and converse freely without fear of being overheard.

peter’s head was in your lap, and you were mindlessly scratching and tugging at his curls as you smiled at your teammates’ antics. even from this odd, unflattering angle, peter couldn’t help but think you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. the television screen illuminated your face and made your eyes sparkle more than they usually did. and he had the perfect view of your lips—so soft, sensual, always containing such happiness, always begging to be kissed…

“hey bug?” you looked down at peter, smiling softly with the look you seemed to only reserve for him.

“hi,” peter whispered breathlessly, heart racing at the nickname. the corners of his eyes crinkled in the way that seemed to be only reserved for you.

“uh, this might be a- a little forward, but what are your weekend plans, ‘cause-”

“homicide.”

“excuse me?” you squinted at peter.

“you heard me. this weekend, i plan on committing homicide.”

you sniffed, a little disappointed in where the conversation had gone but willing to play along nevertheless.

“that’s it?”

“what do you mean, that’s it? what are you doing?”

you smirked deviously. “UR MOM!” you burst into a fit of giggles that peter found adorable, so he couldn’t stop himself from laughing with you.

“my mom- my mom’s dead!” he said through cackles.

the two of you looked at each other and only laughed harder, garnering the attention of the rest of the team. 

wanda opened her mouth to speak, but tony was too quick.

“alright, this has been going on for too long. peter, off of my daughter. daughter, off from… underneath the kid.” he cursed. “god, that sounds so wrong.”

“what?” you questioned, genuinely confused at what the issue was.

peter rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a warm pink crawling up his cheeks and to the tips of his ears.

“what? the problem is, you two are discussing matricide in front of a team of superheroes, not to mention practically dry-humping each other in a public space! not that it would be acceptable in a private space, but you get what i mean,” tony gritted.

“while we’re at it, can we talk about how your daughter has a stash of breast milk? and peter has menstrual blood? where do you even get the menstrual blood, peter?” natasha shook her head before gasping in horror. “it’s not- it’s not hers, is it?”

you waved your hands. “no, ew, gross! on the plus side, if it were hypothetically mine, that would mean i’m not pregnant.”

tony glared at you, finger in the air pointing shakily at your chest.

“okay, am i the only person who’s worried about the murder bit? because i’m pretty sure the kids were talking about cannibalizing dead fetuses at the party i threw last weekend—”

tony shrieked. “excuse me? you just said you weren’t pregnant, missy. where are you getting the fetuses from?”

“i said, hypothetically, but anyway-”

tony slapped himself in the face a few times. “god, this is why we need to stock up on condoms around here. do you guys even have sex ed in school? i don’t care if the two of you,” he waved a finger between you and peter, “are doing the deed—wait no, i do—but please tell me you’ve had the banana demonstration.”

“tony, i think the kids are quite a nice couple,” steve chimed in bravely. tony spun around and gave him a withering glare, but the supersoldier didn’t back down. “i said what i said. well, peter should definitely shower more, three weeks is criminally disgusting, but other than that, they’re good for each other.”

wanda nodded seriously. “i can hear both of them thinking about jumping each others’ bones every time i see them together. it’s kind of annoying, actually. so if you just let them fuck, my mind would greatly appreciate that.”

bruce sighed. “the sexual tension is so obvious that david attenborough doesn’t even need to narrate it for me to identify it. it’s like when those two whales were mating…”

tony dragged his hands down his face, overwhelmed. you and peter’s hands had found their way closer to each other, despite your bodies being a modest distance apart, and your pinkies intertwined reassuringly.

“care to explain?” tony waved his hands around. “the sexual tension bit? the cannibalism? the feet fetishes? just… anything?”

“it was a joke, i swear, mr. stark!” peter jabbered desperately. “it’s… a game we play. where we try and come up with the most ridiculous conversations and then just keep it going.”

you nodded furiously. “right! and i’m totally the winner. none of it was real. plus, friday would have alerted you if i ever made an onlyfans account.”

tony stroked his chin contemplatively. “so, the sexual tension bit? that was also a joke?”

peter opened his mouth, “ye-”

you opened your mouth, “no!”

the two of you gaped at each other.

“what we mean to say is, no, it’s not a joke! yes, there is… sexual tension.” you widened your eyes at peter pleadingly.

tony mumbled angrily to himself, pacing the room as the avengers watched the live-action reality tv unfold before them.

“is there really sexual tension between is?” peter hissed at you.

“uh, yeah. unless you were being serious about wanting to thoroughly fuck me and also fuck me after i went through the entire supreme court, then no, that would just be flat-out sexual.”

peter pursed his lips. “right, okay then. you’re right. there is sexual tension between us.”

you mock pouted. “so you’re saying you don’t want to thoroughly fuck me?”

peter turned bright red just as tony turned to the two of you, who had gotten much closer to each other in the time that he’d been worrying.

“gross! i’m getting secondhand cooties. whatever, you guys go have a play date or something. just… please be more classy than cady and aaron, dear god. the teenage foolery in this movie is actually-” tony shuddered, unable to express himself with words.

“i’m still interested in the property, y’know?” you whispered.

“well then, can i extend another real estate tour offer?”

“absolutely. and i will gladly take you up on that offer.”

you took peter’s hand, the two of you giggling madly as you raced and slipped down the hall towards your bedroom. you heard tony groaning and whining from the common room before he shouted, “keep it pg-13 in there!”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

peter parker masterlist | main masterlist

taglist:

@bambamwolf87 @cowboibeepbeep @yourallihave @im-a-slut-for-fluff

[vesora]

I don't even believe the winter thing but u defended rosie when she posted anti black asks/racist asks so what am i even supposed to believe 🤣 all of those accusations and ure mad over being called a shady bitch..... ure probably more than that by defending an immature racist. just bc u revise ur age doesn't mean u revised the immaturity! I also didn't see u speaking up when the other side got even more hate than rosie 🤣 terrible being. I feel bad that rosie is such a huge blog just bc of the void and gorgeouslypink just has to deal that 5 other popular blogs defend her bc she's "sweet"

if u post this or not, idc. just wanted to let yk how terrible of a person who trusts blindly is when all the proof is on maya and bkuegrapes account

I didn't know Rosie when that whole thing happened firstly so idek what ur talking about

Id never defend racist anti black asks oh my god my friends irl would go crazy if they heard that. I have spent my whole life being an activist for minorities in my country. I have spent my hard earned money and my time volunteering for refugees from Syria, Ethiopia, Nigeria etc. I have been ostracised for speaking publicly about black, refugee, lgbt rights but didn't care because my purpose is to assist minorities to have an equal standard of living. Im not saying this to flex you wouldn't have ever known about this, im only saying this at the outrageous accusation.

The only thing I had said about the maya situation was that black people might not flourish like Koreans do in kpop because of the racism present in Korea. But with the law I learned anything is possible so I retract that statement and apologise for stating a limiting belief and if I said anything that may have offended anyone, I still apologise.

For the pink situation, BRO I AM NOT INVOLVED IN EITHER SIDE WTF R U GUYS TALKING ABOUT TRYING TO INVOLVE ME

Pink also said she doesn't wanna talk about it further in her post so idk why ur tryna drag her into this again

I was terrible for trusting winter bcos my god, she has caused so much drama in my life in an otherwise drama free life. She just keeps popping up out of nowhere on god.

I did not revise my age btw where did that come from? I'm not mad over the shady bitch its just funny because winter is the only person who would call me that 😂 my friends would jump from shock if they heard someone call me a shady bitch. But if im a shady bitch to winter thats alright, she has the right to her own opinion and I wish her the best. I just want her to stop trying to start shit. There's a lot I could have said about winter but I didn't because I respect her journey and she may be dealing with some stuff we don't know but I don't like all of this. And winter told us she was valentina just saying. But if she wants to go back on it, thats her choice and I have no say in it.

[th3-art-of-dying]

The following is a true story other than me or anyone I know having anything to do with the events involved. We didn't do s***, so.

If this was not enough, it is accompanied by a sonnet. The, aforementioned, story in lyrical format. (Okay they r both lyrical format....one just more so. Ig.)

When two wrongs made a right.

There was a time when I was prone to doing outrageous things which were potentially violent or damaging to..... pretty much anyone who was near me. ( other than cops cause, well they have guns and there's like 100s of them everywhere. ) U run a stop sign where I'm from, twenty cops show up in under 2 minutes. Like 4 on foot, a couple are doubled up and the rest in a random assortment of vehicles.

I remember the first time I saw someone pulled over by a gremlin.... "can they do that?" Someone says in an exaggerated disgusted tone as they take in the scene. As if it were the 70s and they had just seen their first interracial gay couple.

People still did that, over-the-top gasp in public back then I bet. Especially the little country towns. See a black dude on a horse and, well, ill leave that line to Mr. Jackson, but u get my gist.

Yes, I'm going to get to the point. When this story took place, we were..... heathens. Don't judge us uncreatively.

When two wrongs make a right.

"I am headed your way we need some meds, oh, and I hope it's cool, I'm bringing someone with."

"Aight, no worries, you know where I'm at. When you get here, as always, come to the back.

A text comes through not 2 minutes later,

" Hey, I'm trying to rob this dude,

just between me and you. "

"LOL, okay bro. Is it someone I know?"

"Nah, he's a lame and he's got this coming.

He's done dirt to me, so help me take his money?"

"You know I got you man, we are fam!"

An hour later a truck pulls in.

"I've already made the call, they will have it waiting.

Let's get on the road, no point delaying."

We share a mischievous look as we all head to the truck.

I make a call to be sure they're still up.

"It's all good, we're meeting at the school."

What better place to do what we're about to do.

"Make a right and then go straight,

When you come to a tee, pull through the gate."

"You're going to have to park a ways back and I'll walk up,

Don't want the plug to think we're trying to set them up "

"okay " a simple reply

feeling like this is easy as pie

I'm going to go by these drugs with this dude's money

But he's out of luck, cuz when I get back, he ain't getting any

With the dope right there in my pocket,

We'll all drive home and I'll say that I've lost it .

I'll have this unsuspecting dude searching everywhere but for no use,

I'll be encouraging and maybe even help him look for it too.

But, little did he know, that little did I know,

My plug has the same plan and sold me fake dope.

However, due to the scammer that I've grown to be ,

some crookedness came out from inside of me .

And even though it wasn't something I had planned,

when I met the plug I put only ones in his hand.

So being as lucky as I am,

Life taught me to take anything I can.

Cause truth be told they would do me the same

Anything and everything regardless what I think.

Still unknown to all

The truth of the events involved.

The events which had occurred,

Reveal, I, this wicked curve..

" So, you see, my friend

You were wise to come to me ,

It's hard to keep a good crook down

and your bro is a mfin OG."

So, even though the plug, missed from the free-throw-line

It could have been a little better to be doing his lines.

I got over on the both of them

and just to make things even sweeter I've had my own drugs this whole time!

Oh, and we're about to get ultra high!

Finally we get good and high and divided up the money.

The driver had given up his search and come in acting funny.

He seemed upset, I wondered why.

"You know, that's no way to go through life."

He did not respond but he did declare

"I brought your bro when i came,

And now I am leaving him here!"

Calmly, my bro, so respectfully requested

my blessing.

"This is your house, but can I go hit him?"

"By all means, he has clearly not had enough misfortune ,

And apparently wants more of it."

"we can fix that!"

And before I could even blink

He was up and gone and I think

Some sort of ninja did appear,

I saw him fly through the air!

Vengeance rain down upon this robbed-dude's jaw.

By the look in his eyes, twas the devil he saw.

"So are you going to give him a ride?

You don't want to know what I'll do if you decline."

Holding his face, he solemnly agrees,

But my bro decides, not to leave.

"I want to hang out anyway."

"He just wanted to punch you in the face,

it's the way my bro says goodbye.

Take no offense, but get the hell out of my drive."

All grins we retire Within,

to enjoy our well earned win!

dedicated to ;

I don't drop names n****

#thuglife

It was either AC or DC but it damn sure wasn't me.

What's with all this talk anyway, about identity?

I can say I don't identify as being guilty.

I am innocent it's my human right

Now get off my page, aight?

2 wrongs

Ignorance to ignorance, yet a bit of luck

Whilst plotting, planning maliciously

Obvious variables we failed to think of

Ignorant inhumanity, they share our intent

Understanding the darkness in the world too late.

Therefore we choose not to lament.

Did this thing that seems too far fetched to occur

In mind numbing madness we review

How has this happened? No way to be sure.

I must avoid the urge to call it a reward

Yet within this ugly chain of events which had occured

In spite of our crimes, luck we'd incured.

If you have just read this, thankyou and much love. If you have not, why are u reading just the end? Seems strange.

[baekhvuns]

My internet doesn't work for 3 days and sanhwa and Kai decide to make a tiktok 😐

Let me tell u I s c r e a m e d alright? I wanted them to collab bcz just after the release of mr rover i saw this tiktok tht said "where r san and hwa?? When r they gnna dance to mr rover?" Well, there u hv it. 🥹

I flipped bro, i thought u posted 😭😭 oh also finally listened to limitless. Lemme tell u it was top anime material. Idk it sounded like an anime opening. Oh and the live hongjoong did yesterday 😭 san and hwa 😭 i think i should make it official tht san is my bias wrecker.

I drew the most seonghwa looking seonghwa ever. Trust me. It sounds weird. But that's exactly how i mean it. It's hard to study for the last exam...like I'm srry but i wasted all my motivation for the other exams so i hv none left 😀

I am in my Hollywood phase now. I listened to backstreet boys for the first time yesterday 😌 why wasn't i born in their era! One of my favourite movies is titanic...even though it gv me trauma and i cried a lot but still....soooo i was ...um thinkiiinnggg 🌚 maybeeee a titanic au would heal me.

Just saying tho bcz i hv so many ideas and i keep on asking 🥲 BCZ i just want u to write it and nobody else.

A "babe i just finished a book" gf and "tell me all about it" bf....screams the trouble with Hating u 🤧

It probably has been a long time since i said this but i hope you're taking care of yourselves and as always, slaying 😌💅✨. Make sure to stay hydrated and KEEP ON READING MY ASKS BCZ IT FEELS LIKE I HV A FRND 😭

that tiktok / collab made my entire year better 😭😭 my reaction was the same tho i had just woken up, half lidded, squinting while trying to see the timeline and boom my life ended for a quick sec <3

IM SORRY FBWHDSCJ THO I WILL POST bc i only have about 4 scenes left <33 get ready to flipped <3

YOU LISTENED TO THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME???? i rmr they were so popular in india and they’d randomly crank their music on the radios,, BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME???? BRO????? listen to nsync while ur at it 🔫 titanic au, do u rly want me to make hwa say draw me like one of ur french girls,, titanic au would come with angst unfort 🥰

thank you!!! you as well!!! hoping ur exams go well!!! 💓

[ruralbi]

dear diary, i feel better but oooooh my god it's not lookin good for ya boy!!!! summary? my best friend told me he doesn't love me AGAIN

i'm like bro quit reminding me if ur gonna constantly be in my house havin me suck ur dick. life is hard out here :(

however he built a garden shed for my parents, shelves for my garage and he promised me he'll make a pantry and shoe rack for underneath my stairs when he comes back on saturday. he's gone to work until then... he'll be back saturday with hopefully money, cause we're starting to b seriously depleted. i need to up my game with someone else if i ever want to b a house husband, cause this bitch aint ever gonna support me.

he can't even jack me off, i don't think he's abt to shell put 400e a month for me to keep house.

my therapist is there like there are different ways to tell someone you love them. he does love you. look at all the work he does for you. yeah well he also does the same for half his friends and he doesn't regularly tell THEM he's not in love with them. like literally i know someone can be very deep in the closet and denial, i've been there. but at some point u just gotta accept that he's just not that into you. what gave me the hint? the multiple times where he's said that he doesn't love me romantically, just as a friend that is fun to fuck.

btw this post sponsorised by the builder who made his first appearance at the house ever since he decided he was getting sober.

apparently it didn't last a week, but he hasn't been here in months due to the awkward happenstance where he declared his (drunken) undying love for my flatmate (his colleague) while he has been fuckin me. unfortunately that's a deal breaker for both of us i think, he's barely made eye contact for the whole visit. i'm very like :/ we could've had a good life together :/ about it.

nobody can stand him, he's all alone in his house, in serious need of nurture? i'm a very patient, very home oriented sex enthusiast. your loss honey. you'd rather b in love with my flatmate who's only ever thought of you as a weird colleague, ur fuckin loss. i don't get what's wrong with me ://// why don't men want me (it's the faggotry)

frankly i haven't seen my gay dad in months either and at this point he wouldn't even b able to berate me for bein a slut i've been so faithful to my idiot best friend. i need to update my bullshittery.

options r perfectly fine guy that 1) is my coworker 2) that i'm not in love with 3) i think is mildly annoying

or a 56yo dude who is trying to drown me in compliments and just yesterday drunk texted me at 2am that he'll "take care of me" (he did text again in the morning to apologise).

fun fact abt this guy : people warned me to b careful cause he was homophobic but in the end he jumped in my bed one night he was staying over to not drink and drive. he did very much try to fuck me. he didn't have a condom and i'm not abt that life so i just sucked his dick and did some intense nipple play??? he's very sensitive it was cute. oh and we did intercrural, and he talked abt knocking me up!! during the dirty talk!!!! that was a new one :') maybe he really was homophobic before and he's only ever been with women and he didn't bother to update the dirty talk. but also that's weird dirty talk for a one night stand regardless of gender??? anyway i gotta admit that i did laugh a lot abt that afterwards. like have at it bro, u can try all u want.

he's been drowning me in compliments ever since abt how i'm the most gentle soul and so beautiful and kind and if only he was 30 years younger he would treat me like i deserved etc. i think he's just hoping that i'll suck his dick again but i heard he has a girlfriend (AFTER the dick sucking) and once again, i'm not abt that life. and also he's old enough to b my father and totally closeted to the point that other friends of ours warned me of his homophobia so ://// not great not great. sorry honey but thank u for the compliments i seriously need those rn

[bigkpopstan]

my best tip when it comes to spanish is mainly find an accent that u like and try it, ik u have already tried that but is something that helped me when i was trying to do a better accent in english (i learned it back when i was 13 but decided to work on my speaking around 15)

personally my favourite accents in spanish are cuban and chilean (the spanish from Chile is so hard to understand if you aren't a native speaker but i just love it sm and they make everything sound funny lols)

my least favourite is the spanish from spain, and honestly every latino also hates its

also something that you should know is that when it comes to expressing ourselves Latinos use many words that come from dialects of their ancient languages therefore you need a little historical context to understand the way we express ourselves, personally I live in the only country in latinamerica that was able to maintain their native language even after colonization and currently knowing it is mandatory and honestly is one of the things that keeps us more connected to our roots so I think that starting to connect through language is something very intelligent bc it also links with history

(this is long sorry)

💌 anon

it’s okay that it’s long I enjoyed reading it!!

long again lmao

bro, even the basic things I know how to say in Spanish I can’t, like my brain and mouth can subconsciously on their own come out with a country or Australian accent bc ?? i think it comes from when I stim, I vocal stim a lot where I either pronounce a word every possible way my brain can come up with or copying accents (Jake bc I love his so so much) that it comes out when I lisp. like when I talk slow or “trip” over my words from talking to fast or smth idk why but it happens. but with Spanish I just !! i feel like i try, but then again maybe I’m not actually trying bc I think I’d be more disappointed if I tried so hard and it didn’t work. or like my family knows I can’t roll my r’s n sometimes (mainly my sister she knows more Spanish than me), or anyone who knows someone’s randomly “go roll your r’s just try” and ‘I’m just like *sweats* I can’t you know this’ .

I literally love any accent tbh, but I also have something against Spain Spanish and idk why I do 😭. I think I just need to practice more but even alone it’s embarrassing and I ahhh-that’s why I don’t do spiritually much bc I get embarrassed even when I’m alone ;-;.

I think some of that is why if I learn Spanish I want it to be, Mexican or Puerto Rican dialect bc that’s what I’m mixed with so I don’t wanna like-learn anything else much? bc it’s not like a big difference but it’s a difference enough ? you know?

[waterinathermostat]

.

[mizunetzu]

Hello sweets. May I get Tenya,Kirishima and Todoroki with a male s/o that has anger issues and gets mad very easily but they can't be taken seriously because they look cute and squishy when their angry. Pronouns are he/him. Thank you!

Bro this request is so cute I’m—

——————

Iida, Todoroki, and Kirishima with a cute, angry s/o

⚠️Warnings - fluff idk, none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Iida:

THIS MAN STRUGGLES SO MUCH AROUND YOU

He knows you get mad easily and that he should take you and your emotions very very seriously but

Ugh he wants to just pick you up and wrap you around his arms

HES TRYING HIS BEST OK GIVE HIM A BREAK

One time he deadass almost started crying bc of u

Ok so

Y’all were studying in his dorm

He was helping you with math because you didn’t really understand the lesson today

You were getting kinda irritated

You couldn’t figure it out for the life of you ong

Iida found it

Very

Very

V E R Y

Hard to concentrate when you were acting so FUCKING CUTE

he understood you were irritated and mad and couldn’t understand how to do the equation but,,,your cheeks looked so soft puffed out,,,and the way you were furrowing your brows and pouting your lips and—

Mans looked borderline constipated tryna hold in his blush

Inside he was all:

“No no! You mustn’t! Y-you need to concentrate! This is a very s-s-serious matter and (L/n)-kun’s feelings should be taken seriously! Stop it, Tenya! Stop it stop it stop it!”

He was on the verge of fucking tears lemme tell you that

But UGH

HE FOUND YOU SO CUTE

He 100% thinks it’s a guilty pleasure because you want to be taken seriously and he wants to respect that but everyone finds you cute when you’re mad too

Everyone can see the face of pure struggle on Iida when your mad and he’d tryna stop himself from picking you up and swinging you around in him arms

Can you see how much I love Iida

——————

Todoroki:

Can and will not hide the fact he thinks ur cute

I mean it’s not like he’s over dramatic abt it

But like

He Can and Will pinch your cheeks when you’re angrily ranting because he thinks you’re adorable

He’s blunt what do u think HAHAHAHA

Ok so one time you burst into his dorm room really mad

But here’s the thing

Todoroki may be smart but he’s dumb yk LMAO

He didn’t think you were mad, purely because he was staring at your furrowed brows and puffed up red cheeks

You started ranting and ranting about something but tbh this man was just nodding at staring at your cheeks

“Hey! Are you even liste-wH-?”

He-

HE BIT YOUR CHEEK—

Well not like hard— more like cupped his lips around the mold of ur cheek and closed it but it was more like a harmless bite

Todoroki didn’t realize what he did until you coiled back and held your cheek with an angry, flustered face

“W-w-what the hell?!”

“...sorry.”

You fucking tsundere

He said he was sorry but he wasn’t 💀💀

He kept pinching and touching your cheeks while you angrily protested

“Stop touching me!”

“I’m sorry.”

He really isn’t

Stop pretending you don’t like this

He likes it too

Kirishima:

BAKUGOU, BUT MAKE HIM CUTE WHEN HES ANGRY INSTEAD OF DEADLY N MURDEROUS

Ok so like todoroki he wouldn’t hide the fact he thought you were cute but also like Iida he would try and keep it in

He respects ur manly wishes yo 😤😤

Whenever you’d angrily rant about something, he’d hype you up and shit

Even though most of the time he doesn’t know what ur saying or what he’s saying bc he’s too busy swooning over your cute pout

“Yeah! Fuck that shit! Fuck Sero!”

“...”

“Wait why are we fucking Sero—“

He does a real good job of keeping it in

But this one day

This ONE DAY—

You came into his dorm, angry and holding up an empty bento box

“Did you eat all my onigiri?! I-I was savin-i was-urrrgh!”

You were so angry you couldn’t speak

You were fumbling with your sentences, waving the box around and shit

Kirishima Physically Could Not

He got up from his bed and fucking BEAR HUGGED YOU

GLOMPED YOU

SQUEEZED THE EVER LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU

“Ugggggh! You’re so cute! I can’t take it anymore! I’ll buy you more I swear but aaaaargh!”

You were still mad but now you were so mad and flustered nothing was coming out of your mouth

Kirishima was dangling you and hugging you and squeezing you and ugh

Mans let out a school years worth of holding in his affections and how much he wanted to fucking squeeze you to death

Not in a mean way but yk

——————

[welkinsky]

Congrats to 100 follower ✨💖 you really deserve it. You constantly put quality content out there 🥺

As for your celebration, what about the alphabet for Kakashi? 🥰

Kakashi X Reader | A-Z Headcanon

Masterlist

A-Z Headcanon

Warning: 18+ Content

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Once you two are done and tired, he's gonna take a moment and then turn over to you to smile and adore how flushed you look. He usually kisses your forehead and then pulls you into his chest. Once you two are all calmed down. "You want to hop in the shower baby?" Still running his one hand through your hair. If you say you want to rest a bit more, he gets up to get you water and towels, or if you say yes then expect a "Round 2?" joke on your way, which wasn't actually a joke.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of their partner’s)

Your thighs! Doesn't matter if you have thick thighs or not he likes to grab them while you're on top or you two are just chilling and he is running his hand through them and they slip certain places "by accident"

In a non-sexual way, it is your hair, for sure. He likes to bury his face in them because the scent of the fresh shampoo is relaxing to him. If you change your shampoo he'll notice it right away, expect a new bottle of the same shampoo on the shelf next to your new one the next day.

C = Cuddling

Cuddling with this man is a dream! He likes to be all over you with one leg over yours and your face buried in his chest. Even if you are being the small spoon, his one leg will be over you and your head resting on one of his arm and his other arm over your shoulder pulling you closer to his chest.

Whenever you two are on a nap date, his hand is always resting on you. He becomes restless when he can't find you but calms down after finding you on the other side of the bed. Then just keeps his palm on you rather than pulling you in and waking you up.

D = Dirty Secret

This one time, you two had an idea of taking some nudes together just for fun to see whose turns out to be the better one. You both set a rule to get rid of them after the winner was announced, which never happened since you two were so turned on in the process that you two ended up doing it. You forgot it but he still has your photo with him. Shut up, it helps him on long missions.

E = Experience 

He was not a virgin, but he wasn't much experienced either. If you want to know more about this scenario find it here.

In starting he kept things vanilla, he didn't want to freak you out. But you wanted more but that was the case with you too so this one time you stole his Itcha Itcha to read what type of stuff he was into. AND YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. You had to read it as fast as you can because he'd notice that it was missing.

And when you suggested something, it was a shock to him because he knows exactly how to do it but to ACTUALLY experience it and that too with YOU? The guy was in actual heaven that day.

F = Favourite Position 

It depends, he is a tease so he likes when you do all the work but just wait till he has your image of having one leg over his shoulder while he's pounding into you and you're all flustered, aaaaand the guy is pinning you down and going at it.

Or if he is IN THE MOOD he's gonna start with you on all fours and will end up having you burring your face in the pillow.

G = Goofy

Hehe he is the best type of goofy. He says the jokes with a straight face while everyone is on the floor dying. He only lets out a small laugh when you are laughing your "so-called ugly laugh" in front of others too.

But sometimes he starts laughing even before cracking the joke because it was that funny, "Oh boy, naah it's nothing" he says wiping a tear, off his one eye. You all will beg him but according to him "the moment is gone" lol he IS a tease.

H = Hair 

His hair is sooooo fluffy! And after how little he looks after them? It is almost a joke on you. You take care of your hair a lot but this guy probably washes it with body wash and still has such good quality. He always says that it is a good diet to trick you into healthy eating too. This guy never misses a chance to do that.

I = Intimacy 

Your emotional intimacy is something that is beyond this world. You both never knew that you were capable of feeling emotions so strongly.  You're hurt? He feels this burning feeling in his heart that he can't get rid of. He is having a nightmare? It breaks your heart that you cannot do anything about what he had to go through.

Not for once have you two felt any sort of negative emotions to one another but just love and CARE! You love your people but for the first time, you've felt that "care" not from the words but actions. 

For the first time, you two have felt that you don't have to do everything on your own, you can divide it and let your guard down for a moment because you know that other one will be there if something goes wrong.

J = Jack Off 

He does it normally when he is out on a mission or away from you for a while. One thought of you can turn him on in that case.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Ohohoho where should I even start? He LOVES to handcuff you because that just gives him more power over what he wants you to feel. Which is why he likes blindfold too.

As your relationship grows he likes the risk factor too so he likes to do it in a tricky place. But while making sure that your reputation doesn't get compromised at any cost.

L = Location (Favourite places to do they do)

Umm isn't it obvious? Anywhere? Literally. But he loves to bend you over the kitchen counter and take you then and there as he enters the house and finds you cooking or just having a drink or something.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He will do anything you ask for while doing it to make sure that he will be able to see that face of yours when you have just let go and you're too flustered to even care. It shows him that you are enjoying it.

Or if it is just you pleasing him and you look up to him with "puppy eyes" heh don't blame him for what is about to happen to you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

You risking your reputation for the "risk factor". See, everyone sees you highly in the village and he loves the respect that they give you. He WILL NEVER ruin it just because he is feeling it right now and won't let you do the same too.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

It may not seem like it but he LOVES to give it to you. Actually, if this time it is more of a sensual one then he always starts with eating you only. It is his way of showing that you're his priority.

He has long fingers so umm ya. You're overstimulated most of the time. As much as he loves seeing this, he holds your hand with one while the other one is pumping in and out of you as he plays with your clit with his tongue.

He loves to hold one hand with you even while he is eating you out. Wow.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He starts with "slow as death" ones and then once you're begging to him theeen he goes fast and deep. You ARE lucky to have him honestly :')

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You don't even have to say anything? You are looking good before you two go out? You'll be doing it before leaving the house.

It's not his fault! You look too good, it's your fault.

And sometimes these quickies turn into something more and you two end up staying home.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Risk who? That's all I'm gonna say.

S = Stamina 

He can go for a lot of rounds. But if he is just back from the mission or has been busy all day and now he is tired. Please don't push him. Not because he is a "poor guy" or something, nooooo, this idiot will get horny and do it anyway. But regret in the morning because he didn't take enough rest.

T = Toy

He bought it only when you two started experimenting so you both have handcuffs (used for you only he doesn't like to be a sub that often), a blindfold, and a vibrator for sure. This fucker likes to edge you a lot.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Heh isn't it clear already? This guy is the definition of being unfair. As you start to get a little annoyed and turn to him and catch him smirking, all that "annoyance" turns into "lust" lol you simp! But can we really blame you?

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

If you are doing it somewhere out? He'll keep shut and even cover your mouth to avoid getting caught. But if he is at home, he will grunt a lot but will let out a loud moan once he reaches his high

W = Wild Card (Just a random headcanon because I cannot think of anything starting with W)

He cooks for you in the morning. That is the only time he can make sure that you have a good healthy meal since he is not there for lunch and you make the dinner.

If he is cooking in the morning then expect your lunch prepared for you too.  *and meal prep for dinner* bro he wants to make sure that you are taking care of yourself because you work too hard okay? Shut up and have your fruits and drink some water as you read this...... Go now, sip some water.

X = X-Ray

He has a lean physique but specifically, his arms are muscular and they are getting buffer after you mention that you like buffed arms. Hehe being slick, okayyyy.

Also, he has long slim fingers, umm good for you.

But you like to draw in his hands too sometimes. Just some little things. He smiles at them as he looks at them later.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He kind of has a strong sex drive. Most of the time if it is because of the fact that he is too excited to try new things on you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He doesn't sleep until he knows that you are sound asleep. He likes to take in the scent of your hair and just run his fingers through your hair to calm you down a bit. Do it back too, please. He loves it a lot! If you stop and start doing something else, he'll bring back your hand to his hair and make you do it for as long as you don't fall asleep. In any case, he is sleeping once you're asleep.

____________________________

Shikamaru is my favorite character but ya’ll are making me change my lane with how many posts I’ve written for Kakashi XD

Thanks For Reading and for the ask!

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

[elijahlittle]

Toxic Craigslist!Roomate Eren/Reader (Headcannons)

I SENT THESE TO MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ACCOUT @ringpop-poppy AND THEY LIKED THESE HEADCANNONS A LOT, SO I'M GOING TO POST THESE HEADCANNONS ON MY TUMBLR. IF YOU WANT QUALITY, AND I MEAN Q U A L I T Y, SHIT PLEASE ON GOD FOLLOW THEM. I am crying and throwing my hands on the table, I cannot express to you how good their account is. I will say this until the moment I DIE they are the BEST blog on this site. Thank u.

so my friend and i were shooting off some headcannons and we came up with this idea and one second i just need a moment to recuperate myself and that's super shitty NIGHTMARE craigstlist roommate eren yeager and when i tell you it has RUINED my life i mean it has RUINED my life.

so like imagine, you're hard up for a roommate and so you hit up craiglist b/c you know the state of the economy is absolute SHIT and you are kind of in a rush. you end up moving into this two bedroom apartment with some dude on craigslist (eren) whose roommate just moved out.

you don't know it but eren can't keep a roommate to save his LIFE. it's because he's just such an AWFUL roommate. like plays videogames all day. homie has a shit ton of money but literally NOBODY knows where it comes from or where he works. he just disappears and comes back he says it's "work" but never actually says where he works.

throws his feet up on the coffee table and shit, doesn't wipe off his feet when he comes into the apartment, leaves cups out, just does not pick up after himself. eats the last bit of your food but gets mad when you do the same to him, uses your extra toothbrushes, just overall leaves a mess.

the worst part? his room is IMMACULATE. he is FULLY capable of keeping clean, he just likes to crack open a can of whatever the fuck he drinks on the couch, throw his feet up on the table, and watch you bend over and pick up stuff in an angry huff with very steely eyes. this man's eyes are on you ALL the time.

for the most part u put up w/ it because you're just that hard up for a roommate, but the final straw is when he leaves his dishes in the sink for like a week straight

you storm from the kitchen into the living room in an absolute angry huff, face scrunched up from anger, and start just laying into him about doing the fucking dishes like "it's just not that hard!"

the entire time you're raving, he just sits back - hands behind his head. "you done?"

stands up, puts all the dishes up - in a way that you HATE that's not even CORRECT because he has studied the way that you put up the dishes like in the few months he's made living for you hell he has picked up on your small habits.

now he's sitting down on the couch again and you're still ranting and raving at him. he looks super pissed off now.

also did i mention the sexual tension between u two is IMMACULATE?

while you're in the middle of raving, kicks over his soda that's on the table and gets it all over the carpet.

now you're pissed and just raving and bitching. because who the fuck does that?

pushes u on ur knees, bends you over, presses his cock into your ass and keeps u there for a second - grabs a rag from the table, stuffs it in ur mouth, and know what this fucker says?

"clean it up. you might want to get further on your hands and knees -" presses his cock into you, which is obviously very hard against u, "make sure to get nice and deep in there"

leaves to go to his room leaving u shook as fuck. obviously u clean it up b/c holy fuck

tension builds up over the next several weeks and u get closer to levi and erwin, ur local next door gays (or roommates, depending on if u ship them or not). levi won't admit it but he loves u a lot and so does erwin.

eren being really unhappy b/c ur spending so much time with the next door neighbors and not letting him terrorize you

starts banging on levi's door one day, demanding to know where u r. levi answers the door. obviously he can see you over levi's short ass head but homie is a real one and is like "she's not here"

"i can see her she's right -"

levi wacks eren several times with the broom until he goes away.

so u come in late that same night and homie is seething. this is where the sexual tension BUSTS.

so u open the fridge bc you're looking for water, right, bent over and he comes in b/c he heard u come in (he's been waiting for u to come back all night).

very stealthily slips behind you, presses his crotch against ur ass, and gives a nice comfortable shove - wedging u in the fridge

reaches over u, his chest pressed against u, grabbing the water you wanted.

sits there with his crotch pressed into u, slowly drinking the water while ur sitting there, squirming, trying to press ur way out of the fridge, but his hips have you pinned there. u don't know why ur turned on but holy HELL you're turned on. ur pressing ur ass into him and everything, trying to grind into him a bit. you claim to do it b/c ur trying to push him off but he knows why you're really doing it. the entire time u r stuck there, water from the shelf above is just dripping on you. it's cold as fuck bro and ur nipples? hard b/c it's cold.

gets halfway through the water and go "i don't think i want to drink it anymore" dumps the other half of the water on u.

you are dripping in water, t-shirt clinging to u. homie is marveling at how tight ur shirt is clinging to you, how cold you r when ur shivering.

pulls you up by the neck from behind and closes the fridge so he can press u against it

he's whispering in ur ear, asking if u had fun fucking the neighbors b/c "you seem like the kind of slut who would enjoy something like that". it's not like that at all but homie is a jealous guy.

oh yeah did i mention he's a jealous guy?

has his fingers in his mouth while he fucks you from behind for the first time, head pressed against your work schedule that's pinned to the fridge, asking you a slew of shit like

"do you like that?"

"i bet you like cleaning up after me like a lil maid"

i mean he is absolutely ROCKING you against that fridge, fingers in your mouth snapping his hips against urs

"you've just been playing coy w me the entire time, i bet u've been thinking about this for months - i know you have. i can see the way u bend over to put on a show for me when you clean up after my mess like a good lil housewife. good girls just don't wear panties like that and bend over not expecting to get fucked. bet you been waiting for this, dirty whore" ext. ext. ext.

thank u for ur time.

[minccinoocappuccino]

Okay you know I'm a simp for Azar and for the piping hot OC asks....ALL OF THEM FOR AZAR PLEASE!!! Muahahaha 😈❤️❤️

sjssjssjj BRO! Hell yeah lets do this these get kinda nsfw so read at ur own risk 

Is your OC perceived as physically attractive to others? Is it at first glance or is it something that takes more time to reach fruition? Azar is def attractive as fuck n others around him know it sjssjjsjsjsjsj n most important he knows it!!

Is your OC’s attractiveness based on looks or a more intangible aura? id say both for him sjsjsjjsjsj like he looks attractive but also just gives off good dick energy n confidence tho he does give good dick 

What is your OC’s most physically attractive attribute? id say his back man like he has tiger stripes n to see them twist around his back muscles bout to make ppl act up man 😩 his ass is as v well fit f thats what ur into as well 🥴

What is your OC’s most mentally attractive attribute? def wittniess ssjsjsjjsj man has a v sharp tongue but tongue n check insults arent the only thing his mouth good at sjsjjsjs f u catch my drift ahhhh

Does your OC believe they are attractive? Do they use that to their advantage? 100% yes my mans knows his tits look good thats why his shirt so low cut he doesnt use it to his advantage unless its on leona tho then its a all out war 

Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent? tbh prolly not sjsjsjjsjj he smells like sweat most the time cus hes v active when hes not laying around i mean unless u like the smell of sweat (not gonna blame u tbh ) 🥴😳

Does your OC have an attractive voice? i think so v deep n soft

Does your OC enjoy playing the field? Or are they more monogamy-minded? def more of a looking at all my options type of guy until he settles down

What does your OC find irresistible in others? there strength he likes someone who can keep up with him n mind n body so f they can do that hes down

Is your OC a very good flirt? Are they charming? hes v quick with sharp words but his flirting is more like insults lucky so is leonas so they understand the other is flirting while everyone else around them is like r they gonna fight????

Is your OC a good kisser? How do they do it? depends what kinda kissing u like sjssjjsjsj hes def messy with lots of bitting lips n tongue n spit 

Does your OC have much sexual experience? What are they like? sjsjsjssjjsj yes n its v wild n hard not much talking he wants u not to b able to walk when hes done

Do they treat sex casually or do they view it as something with a lot of emotional weight? he def views it as casual but leona doesnt so after being with leona a while he does treat it a little in-between n understands that it can b v v emotional weighted as ur giving urself to somebody trusting them with ur body

What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered? sjssjsjsj good luck getting him to feel that way f anything ur gonna b the one getting flustered sjsjsjsj

Into public displays of affection or are they more reserved? depends he usually doesnt care about who see n will sit n leonas lap n kiss him n stuff n front of anyone but hes learnt not to do it as much cus leona isnt for it

How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other? romance better look else where man Azar idea date is laying n bed all day n then fucking all night tho he does like to go swimming so f he can get leona off his lazy ass then a pool date would b the most romantic thing hes done n thats not saying a lot sjjsj

What is their courting style? How would they woo someone? he mostly just waits for them to come to him first as hes not v approachable so f someone isnt scared to come up trying to woo him then who knows maybe there tough enough for him

What kind of underwear do they use? Is it pretty or functional? my mans wears a animal print jock strap n yeah its v functional easy ass access my dude 🥴