#but even then it’s like bro but why r u trying THAT hard to keep her alive

[radiaking]

Bg3 Coop is literally so funny. He’ll be out here like “I will lay down my life for that silly bitch with the gigantic fucking eyes” and insist for 2 whole acts that there’s no deeper reason than her leading him to moldaver.

[kimmie2me]

Dynamite and His Player 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Twitch Gamer!Bakugou x AFAB!Reader

.....

Bakugou glances over at the camera, brows furrowed as he adjusts his headset. "Alright, you extras, get ready to shut the hell up," he growls, his voice laced with annoyance. "She’s real. I’ve got her right here, and she’s playing with me tonight."

You laugh off-screen, causing his chat to explode with reactions. Up until now, they didn't believe a word Bakugou said when he claimed he had a girlfriend. After all, this is the guy known for his explosive reactions when things go slightly wrong. He grumbles, trying to keep his cool, but the slight blush on his cheeks gives him away.

The game loads up, some horror-puzzle co-op that requires a ton of coordination. But while Bakugou’s all business—focused on solving puzzles and surviving—you have other ideas. You’re busy teasing him, wandering off to explore the map, or purposely messing up just to get a rise out of him.

"Can you just—dammit! Will you STOP wandering off?" Bakugou snaps as he watches your character take another detour. "We’re supposed to be working together!"

You grin at the screen, purposely moving your character in circles. "Aw, come on, Suki~ We’re just having fun, right?"

His jaw clenches, and he mutters something under his breath about "not having fun if you keep screwing around." But his viewers are eating it up, laughing at his frustration and flooding the chat with comments like "She's brave for messing with him, LMAO😭😭" and "Bros .4 seconds away from exploding his monitor for the 10 millionth time🪦"

Eventually, he just huffs, slouching in his chair and mumbling, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I’ll just wait here." His expression says he's beyond annoyed, but the hint of a smile peeking through his scowl gives away that maybe, just maybe, he's actually having a little fun too.

Grumpy Twitch Gamer Bakugou Headcanons

...

— Every time he messes up, he narrows his eyes at the camera with that “are you stupid?” glare. Chat spams "IT’S NOT OUR FAULT!” and "WHY R U LOOKING AT US LIKE WE DID THAT??" but he just huffs, “If you idiots weren’t DISTRACTING me…”

— Bakugou’s streaming style is brutally honest—constantly throwing out curses like it’s second nature. If he dies in-game, his go-to is, “How the hell am I supposed to win with this garbage game?!” and he never blames himself, ever.

— He has zero chill. Every so often, he’ll pound the desk so hard that the camera shakes, and one time he punched his mic so fiercely that it cut out, leaving chat in hysterics as he tries to fix it, muttering about “this piece of crap gear.”

— After every gaming session, he gives a review of the game he’s playing—most of which devolve into full-on rants about terrible controls, stupid enemies, and “whoever the hell designed these levels.” At this point, it's an entire essay by the time he's done.

— There are moments when he hits the mute button just to scream or cuss off-mic. Chat sees him red-faced and mouthing words, knowing he’s losing it, which makes them spam laugh emotes to annoy him further.

— Sometimes, when things get really bad, he just simply says "Okay." and goes quiet, leaning in close to the screen with this intense focus. Chat knows that if he’s silent, it’s only because he’s plotting to obliterate whatever got him killed.

— It’s become a running joke with his followers—every time he streams, they place bets on which piece of his equipment he’ll break. He’s replaced his keyboard three times already and had to upgrade his camera stand because he broke the last one during a particularly heated rage quit.

— When he finally beats a level, he acts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “See? Wasn’t even hard, you just have to not be a dumbass.” Cue the smug smirk.

— Occasionally, in his absolute rage, he’ll end the stream immediately after a loss. One second he’s there, screaming at the game, and then—stream offline.

— Despite all the rage, he’s actually insanely good at gaming. When he goes on a winning streak, chat blows up with admiration, but he barely acknowledges it. “’Course I won—who the hell do you think I am?”

— He has zero patience for backseat gamers. “Oh, you think you could do better? Why don’t you go start your own damn channel, then!” The mods know by now to instantly time out anyone who even hints at suggesting how he should play, and the ban count is astronomical by the end of each stream.

— Occasionally, Bakugou gets so into the game that he goes almost silent, and chat jokes it’s an ASMR session because all they can hear is his intense breathing and muttered curses. “Oi, STOP saying it’s ASMR, it’s not ASMR, you freaks!”

— Loading screens are his worst enemy. Every single time, he glares directly into the camera, arms crossed and seething, ranting about the “stupid long loading times” and how he could’ve “beat the damn game twice by now.” and how "a whole child could've been born by now." Chat watches in suspense because they know the rage is simmering, just waiting to explode.

— If he’s playing a console game, the controller does not have a safe future. He’s thrown it across the room, slammed it on his knee or desk, and even threatened it like, “You’re next, you little piece of shit, keep messing up on me.” He’s gone through so many controllers that his sponsor had to send him extras.

— When he loses in a PvP game, he has 1,001 excuses. “Lag. Dumb luck. Exploiter. The devs nerfed my character, obviously.” If chat calls him out, he just scoffs, “You think that was my fault? Keep dreaming.” And the mods instantly clear out any “L” spam from chat because he’s already dangerously close to slamming his keyboard.

— His channel has special emotes for when he loses his temper—explosion icons, angry Bakugou faces, and even one of his own “ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME?!” face. Chat spams these whenever he starts heating up, which only fuels his fire.

— His viewers love to try and provoke him. Someone will innocently say, “Hey Dynamight, I think you missed something back there,” and he’ll instantly pause, glare at the screen, and say, “I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING, DUMBASS, WE'RE MOVING ON.” It’s like a game within the game for his followers. (He goes back to check right after.)

— “Easy mode?” he scoffs at the suggestion. “I’d rather throw myself into a fire than play on easy mode.” Even if he’s dying over and over, he’ll never, ever change the difficulty. Chat has tried for months to get him to switch, but he’s stubbornly loyal to “the only real mode” (aka Hard Mode, Nightmare mode or above).

— If he actually wins a match, he’s unbearable. He’ll sit there, grinning and basking in his victory, smirking at the camera with a smug, “And that, extras, is why I’m better than every single one of you.” Cue chat sarcastically clapping.

— He once had a bet with his mods that he’d try to do a stream without cursing or raging. He lasted five minutes before he exploded, screaming, “THIS GAME IS FUCKING RIGGED!” after an unexpected jump-scare. The mods were dying, and he banned half of them out of spite (they were unbanned five minutes later, but still).

— Every time he’s about to start a new game, he’s got this exaggerated, dramatic intro: “ALRIGHT, EXTRAS, prepare yourselves ‘cause we’re about to dominate the shit outta this game. And if I see anyone backseat gaming, you’re banned. Don’t even THINK about telling me what to do.”

— Every now and then, when he dies for the tenth time in a row, he just deadpans to the camera, “I swear to God, I’m deleting my channel after this.” Chat knows he’s bluffing, but they still spam crying emojis like “NOOO PLEASE DON’T” just to mess with him.

— Every so often, when he’s focused on a tough level, he’ll mutter something like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad, chat. Don’t tell anyone I said that,” and the comments absolutely blow up with hearts and “WE LOVE YOU, DYNAMIGHT.” He immediately goes red and yells, “Didn’t mean it, idiots!” but it’s too late.

— Once, he rage-quit a game so hard that his entire setup fell silent. He’d punched the desk, and the screen went black. Chat watched in shock as the stream just… cut off. The clip went viral, with an entire 30-minute compilation titled “Every time Dynamight destroyed his setup” He came back the next day, reacted to it, and you already know he gave the video a thumbs down and left a long hate comment.

— His mods convinced him to play a “relaxing, casual game” that was secretly full of jump scares. The first time it happened, he almost flipped his entire desk. He immediately banned half of his mods and told the rest they were “on thin ice.” Chat still laughs about it every time he plays a “cute” game.

[cretenu]

⋆.˚ PICKUP LINES ˚.⋆

content: kuroo tries to rizz you up with awful pickup lines. kuroo x fem reader

warnings: none

notes: it seems like we r all on board with the loser kuroo agenda based on that one post i made LMAO so here u go <3

soundtrack: from the start - laufey

tetsuro kuroo is a loser. yet, you couldn't help but fall for him.

his tall build, charismatic personality, even the pickup lines. oh, the pickup lines. they're horrible, and they're the only way kuroo knows how to flirt. you were sitting on the sidelines of a practice match between karasuno and nekoma during the summer training camp. as a manager, being sent hot glances and heart eyes by the players was not foreign to you. however, you would have to be blind not to noice how this bed-headed try hard had been glancing at you throughout the week. everyone noticed, especially his teammates.

"kuroo, what is up with you?" kenma asked. he was the first one to see that kuroo looked like a deer in the headlights. "hm? nothing, why?" he answered. kenma sighed. "really? you keep looking at karasuno's manager over there" he said rather loudly. kuroo ignored him as he got into position for the next play. "serve it up, fukunaga!" kuroo said loudly, giving kenma a hard stare.

nekoma ended up winning the practice match. as karasuno headed for their penalty lap, you sat by yourself briefly before noticing how kuroo was now talking to his equally spiky-haired friend-- and they were looking at you.

"just do it bro!" bokuto said. "she'll fall for you, trust me!" bokuto couldnt be casual if he tried. he talked with his whole body as his voice echoed throughout the gym. "keep it down!" kuroo said, giving his friend a firm nudge. "you really think so?" he whispered, glancing at you. "absolutely my dude." bokuto said confidently. "if not, i'll uh.." he looked around the gym, considering his options. "oh! ill run a lap around the gym in my underwear!" he exclaimed. "and i don't wanna do that, so go get yourself a lady, kuroo!" he patted (slapped) kuroo's back twice.

as you watched the interaction play out, there was no doubt that they were talking about you. and now, kuroo was striding in your direction.

you panicked. hard. it was something about his lanky build, his confident demeanor. he looked so incredibly awkward, too. as he approached you, you tried to defer your eyes to the match happening on the court over. he cleared his throat, making you jump. kuroo was now towering over you. "hey." he swallowed before taking a deep breath.

"are you made of uranium and iodine? because all i can see is you and i together."

you stared up and him and blinked in disbelief. no way that of all things came out of someone who carried himself with such confidence. before you could laugh at his awful pickup line, he offered you his hand to shake it. "tetsuro kuroo" he said. "i uhm. couldnt help but notice you throughout the week. what's someone like you doing as a manager, huh?" you couldn't help but laugh. he was a nervous wreck. he held his composure pretty well, but you saw right through him.

you shook his hand. "nice to meet you, im y/n. and yes, ive seen you staring at me this whole week, tetsuro kuroo." you teased. kuroo sighed and looked back at bokuto, who was, of course, looking in his direction. "listen. my friend over there told me that if i made a fool of myself, he would run around the gym naked." your eyes widened at his remark. "so, for the sake of everyones eyes, will you go out with me?"

you finally looked into his eyes and smiled before remarking, "of course. for the sake of everyone's eyes." he smiled, feeling affection for your sly remarks. as karasuno came inside from their penalty lap, kuroo departed from you, sending you a wink before joining the rest of his team.

kuroo is a loser, but god its so perfect. he swoons about you to his friends, just loud enough so you can hear without him knowing. he acts suave around you, even when he's melting inside. and no matter how long you've been dating, he will always use those awful pickup lines. and every time he does, you fall for him a little more.

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

[noveauskull]

Tysm for feeding us with ur wuwa smut fics bro <33 and btw since requests r open as u said, can u pls write the NSFW reaction of wuwa men when their fem s/o is always half-naked when their both home alone?? Lol, and if they ask why their s/o is so relaxed to just roam and walk around their private home nearly naked, s/o just shrugs her shoulders and says something like: “We’re a couple, now— are we not? I don’t see the problem here.” EHHEEHEEHHEHHEHEH >:333 (Again tysmsmmss amd have a good day/noon! 🫶)

How WUWA Men React When You Walk Around The House Half-Naked (NSFW)

characters: jiyan, mortefi, geshu lin, yuanwu, scar, aalto, calcharo x reader

warnings: suggestive behavior, teasing, not really all the way, just a short post, nsfw

-----

Scar:

He doesn't mind when you walk around half naked, matter of fact he'd go walking around half naked with you

You just know that he's purposely trying to hug you just to feel your skin on his

Somehow the two of you would end up fucking

"Why bother wearing clothes at this point?"

Sometimes he even rubs himself on you while you're half naked, sick pervert

He encourages it a lot

-----

Yuanwu:

He's flustered by your confidence, but glad enough you trust him to see your body

Despite being a gentleman, he is still a man, so he'd often times stare at you while having a nice sip of tea

"Aren't you cold?" You were in fact, not cold at all. The only shivers you get is when you feel a pair of eyes on you

Suddenly he's smiling at you and offering you to help him get his glasses in the bedroom

And now he's pinning your hands to your head and kissing you

You didn't mean to be provocative, but it happened anyways

-----

Mortefi:

"WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?"

He's panicked at first but he gets used to it later, a bit of a drama king but when you pointed out on him revealing his chest he just blushes and sighs in defeat

Definitely ogling at you, he especially loves the way he could see your boobs when you're only in your bra

At one point when he stands too close to you he's already pinning you to the wall and kissing you

"If this is your way of teasing me then it's working" He's say while blushing profusely

-----

Jiyan:

He's shocked but he doesn't say anything, instead he just tries to avoid staring at you and hopes you'd out some clothes on

But you don't, you're still in your underwear and it's getting really bad for his heart to see you walking around so freely

When he feels like he wants to talk to you about it, he'll wrap his arms around your waist and make you stare into his eyes and ask you if you were interested in going to bed together to fuck

And of course you say yes, cause he's already slipping his hand down to grope your ass, leaving you no choice

Jiyan likes it when you wear less in front of him

-----

Aalto:

He starts acting like he saw you for the first time and starts flirting with you

You didn't expect him to wrap his arm around you and slip his hand into your bra though

Now he's trying to have a conversation with you while he's teasing your nipple, just so you would get wet

"Oops, almost forgot about my food in the microwave" He stands up and leaves you alone on the couch, wet and confused

But you're definitely gonna keep walking around half naked, that's for sure

-----

Geshu Lin:

"What do you think you are doing?"

He acts like he has a problem with it but when you remind him that its only the two of you and that he's already seen your body suddenly hes fine with it

But he will still complain about it

Eventually he gets tired of complaining and just carries you to bed, telling you that now that he's hard you have to take responsibility for it

Tsundere Geshu Lin?

-----

Calcharo:

He's like a big dog, staring at his owner and wondering what to do or say

For some reason, he'd start putting blankets or towels on you

"Is this a new way to make me turned on?"

Before you know it he's fucking you with the same clothes you had on half naked

He ends up wanting you to walk around the house half naked anyways

-----

A/N: SORRY FOR MAKING IT SHORT ANON I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO DO AND IM PUSHING OUT REQUESTS SO THIS IS PROBABLY NOT SATISFACTORY BUT I HOPE MY OTHER POSTS MAKES IT UP TO YOU 😭😭

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

[ma3mae]

No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

[6okuto]

idk if ur reqs are open but I would love to hear your thoughts on Vere 👁️👁️ hes literally dominated my entire headspace I can’t go ten minutes w/o thinking ab how I want to bite his forearm

GENERAL VERE HCS

gn!reader | back 2 knocking these guys out of the park. also i realized these are shorter than my hq bf hcs so. if anyone wants a pt.2 for anybody.. u know what to do

i think u Should bite his arm. For Fun. vere w bite-y partner who he bites back. 'gently' considering he has fangs though

congratulations on being one of 2 people he'd let touch and brush his tail. sometimes he swishes it against your face and then pretends he didn't. "i have no idea what you're talking about," he says before making direct eye contact and doing it again

he likes drawing. ok. have we considered him drawing you. you ask him about it and he says he won't show you. you tease him and ask "what? did you draw sparkles and hearts surrounding me?" and he plays along, "yes, i even checked what i'd look like with your last name and drew us kissing."

It's actually quite a nice sketch of you though. like of you smiling or asleep or something because you fell aslep near him. oh man...

vere knows all the ins and outs of the city which means he can give you a personalized tour that caters to all your interests!! you can ask him to take you to his favourite spots too of course but he feels very accomplished watching you grin in the store he purposely walked by

shocked if you get him a gift. acts nonchalant and is good enough at accepting things but internally, especially if it's something he's been eyeing for a while or has sentimental value,, he . He....

like yeah okay vere...act all cool...as if your eyes don't flicker over whenever you walk past it...as if you don't catch yourself smiling subconsciously...whatever

definitely tries cooking your favourite meal. doesn't go very well, especially if it's something he's never had, but he'll keep practicing until he makes something decent. don't ask how many attempts he did because he won't tell you unless he somehow started a fire and even Then the truth is debatable

if YOU know how to cook it Please for the love of god teach him, or write down the recipe for both your sakes. for the kitchen. plea

everyone tells him/the both of you to shut the hell up whenever you start flirting back and forth/competing to see how many innuendos you can feasibly say. the both of you team up only to bully everyone else for being single before continuing

asshole if you played uno. i'm not competitive nor do i give two shits if i lose at uno but even i would lose it watching vere push for whatever stacking rule he needs to get someone a +20. watch your cards or he'll manage to look over at them. do not trust a single deal he tries. watch his ears and tail i'm sure he has a tell

really good at helping build confidence . what ais said about him being honest but also not trusting anything he says yeah well this is when he'd be completely honest. easily reminds you how capable you are of something, knows what makes you confident, etc etc. and you just ? know you can trust him? it's the vibe. how he says it so plainly as if it's obvious

don't try to lie to him about things. like if you're upset about something it is So obvious to him no matter how hard you try and he'd really appreciate it if you would tell him why or ask to talk about it later when you're ready.

^ as someone who wants to piss her pants at the thought of being direct or whatever,, he'd also be very good at knowing when to push or not. if you respond better to a lighter/gentle reminder i'm sure he would do so :heart:

i have a feeling this guy would be incredibly incredibly incredibly into you asking to post him on any socmed. do you want his face in it. do you want it to be a little spicy. should he pose. actually he probably pouts a little if you want a faceless pose but bro why does it matter if there is not a cm of space between us. why is your hand around my neck rn /lh You know the poses

[mothman9283]

Ok i try to keep private but. guys.... i think i have a fever kink... and if this ever gets traced to myself irl i might have to change my identity. heres a rant about my experiences and preferences just to get it out of my system so i can be productive again and stop thinking about it 😇

anyways! i think ive always been intrigued to fevers my whole life. I remember when i was younger, young enough to not know my age, I was playing doctor with my friend and I was taking my stuffies temperature. i remember just continuously adding on pens and sticks and anything i could find to make the thermometer longer because "the temp is too high! the thermometer is gonna burst!"

i also hated showing or telling ppl i was sick ever since i was young, like id always hide it if i was unwell, and i wouldnt tell my parents or friends and would desperately try to make it seem like i was fine

irl i have no interests in sick people or being sick. if one of my friends has a cold or is coughing i always try to keep my distance so i dont get sick either. lowkey sometimes if they r a bit too snotty or whiny i even get annoyed.. 😓😓 I only ever feel this way about characters through a screen, or through little daydreams and fantasies.

anyways, i lowkey dont know if its a sexual tjing or not (ofc not when i was younger), but its just always something that made my stomach then and my heart pound.

i found out abt this community (<3) when i was in my teens. one day i got a yt video in my recommended of one of those "animate my story" videos. the title was smthing along the lines of "im addicted to seeing other people in pain" and i was like "damn. ok lets see whats up!" and clicked it. in the video the guy describes fantasizing about his favourite characters being hurt and being taken care of, and how its never about real people and whatnot, and as little teenage me watched it, i realized "damn. fhis is fr me but with illnesses!" This was the first time ive ever found out there were others like me, so i immediately scrolled to the comments. unfortunately, literally everyone was liek "bro this dude is a freak..." and i was like "oh.. 😕😒" BUT THEN. this one commenter with a pink defualt yt profile pic said "hey :) ! this is actually called whump, and its more common than you think!" and i went WOAH. since then i searched up "sick fever" on google, found tumblr and fanfics and never looked back.

after seeing some of the #s on this site i definitely feel less alone now, but having a fever kink is still pretty uncommon right..? like i dont see anyone posting about it anywhere else except for the two sites a stated prior, and its not listed anywhere either (granted i havent looked very hard).

isnt it also just kinda weird- like even from an evolutionary standpoint... fever = infectious = bad = why would i wanna get closer and die..

regardless of reason, i just love a good sickness- fevers with flushed, hot skin, and chills and coughs. i also need a good temperature readings for the full experience, and i love all the descriptive diction about their health. im not a huge fan of descriptive puking or sinus related stuff, but im happy with it if it contributes to the fever plot-. ive also noticed over the years that its not simply just a cold- they need to be literally described/shown as flushed and sweaty. being "pale" or "green" AINT doing it for me 😡

anyways! yeah that was my rant :) wow thats long. in the unlikely event someone finds this lmk if u have an similar/different experiences, or if a younger me sees this hopefully they wont feel like such a weirdo and feel less alone

[th3-art-of-dying]

The following is a true story other than me or anyone I know having anything to do with the events involved. We didn't do s***, so.

If this was not enough, it is accompanied by a sonnet. The, aforementioned, story in lyrical format. (Okay they r both lyrical format....one just more so. Ig.)

When two wrongs made a right.

There was a time when I was prone to doing outrageous things which were potentially violent or damaging to..... pretty much anyone who was near me. ( other than cops cause, well they have guns and there's like 100s of them everywhere. ) U run a stop sign where I'm from, twenty cops show up in under 2 minutes. Like 4 on foot, a couple are doubled up and the rest in a random assortment of vehicles.

I remember the first time I saw someone pulled over by a gremlin.... "can they do that?" Someone says in an exaggerated disgusted tone as they take in the scene. As if it were the 70s and they had just seen their first interracial gay couple.

People still did that, over-the-top gasp in public back then I bet. Especially the little country towns. See a black dude on a horse and, well, ill leave that line to Mr. Jackson, but u get my gist.

Yes, I'm going to get to the point. When this story took place, we were..... heathens. Don't judge us uncreatively.

When two wrongs make a right.

"I am headed your way we need some meds, oh, and I hope it's cool, I'm bringing someone with."

"Aight, no worries, you know where I'm at. When you get here, as always, come to the back.

A text comes through not 2 minutes later,

" Hey, I'm trying to rob this dude,

just between me and you. "

"LOL, okay bro. Is it someone I know?"

"Nah, he's a lame and he's got this coming.

He's done dirt to me, so help me take his money?"

"You know I got you man, we are fam!"

An hour later a truck pulls in.

"I've already made the call, they will have it waiting.

Let's get on the road, no point delaying."

We share a mischievous look as we all head to the truck.

I make a call to be sure they're still up.

"It's all good, we're meeting at the school."

What better place to do what we're about to do.

"Make a right and then go straight,

When you come to a tee, pull through the gate."

"You're going to have to park a ways back and I'll walk up,

Don't want the plug to think we're trying to set them up "

"okay " a simple reply

feeling like this is easy as pie

I'm going to go by these drugs with this dude's money

But he's out of luck, cuz when I get back, he ain't getting any

With the dope right there in my pocket,

We'll all drive home and I'll say that I've lost it .

I'll have this unsuspecting dude searching everywhere but for no use,

I'll be encouraging and maybe even help him look for it too.

But, little did he know, that little did I know,

My plug has the same plan and sold me fake dope.

However, due to the scammer that I've grown to be ,

some crookedness came out from inside of me .

And even though it wasn't something I had planned,

when I met the plug I put only ones in his hand.

So being as lucky as I am,

Life taught me to take anything I can.

Cause truth be told they would do me the same

Anything and everything regardless what I think.

Still unknown to all

The truth of the events involved.

The events which had occurred,

Reveal, I, this wicked curve..

" So, you see, my friend

You were wise to come to me ,

It's hard to keep a good crook down

and your bro is a mfin OG."

So, even though the plug, missed from the free-throw-line

It could have been a little better to be doing his lines.

I got over on the both of them

and just to make things even sweeter I've had my own drugs this whole time!

Oh, and we're about to get ultra high!

Finally we get good and high and divided up the money.

The driver had given up his search and come in acting funny.

He seemed upset, I wondered why.

"You know, that's no way to go through life."

He did not respond but he did declare

"I brought your bro when i came,

And now I am leaving him here!"

Calmly, my bro, so respectfully requested

my blessing.

"This is your house, but can I go hit him?"

"By all means, he has clearly not had enough misfortune ,

And apparently wants more of it."

"we can fix that!"

And before I could even blink

He was up and gone and I think

Some sort of ninja did appear,

I saw him fly through the air!

Vengeance rain down upon this robbed-dude's jaw.

By the look in his eyes, twas the devil he saw.

"So are you going to give him a ride?

You don't want to know what I'll do if you decline."

Holding his face, he solemnly agrees,

But my bro decides, not to leave.

"I want to hang out anyway."

"He just wanted to punch you in the face,

it's the way my bro says goodbye.

Take no offense, but get the hell out of my drive."

All grins we retire Within,

to enjoy our well earned win!

dedicated to ;

I don't drop names n****

#thuglife

It was either AC or DC but it damn sure wasn't me.

What's with all this talk anyway, about identity?

I can say I don't identify as being guilty.

I am innocent it's my human right

Now get off my page, aight?

2 wrongs

Ignorance to ignorance, yet a bit of luck

Whilst plotting, planning maliciously

Obvious variables we failed to think of

Ignorant inhumanity, they share our intent

Understanding the darkness in the world too late.

Therefore we choose not to lament.

Did this thing that seems too far fetched to occur

In mind numbing madness we review

How has this happened? No way to be sure.

I must avoid the urge to call it a reward

Yet within this ugly chain of events which had occured

In spite of our crimes, luck we'd incured.

If you have just read this, thankyou and much love. If you have not, why are u reading just the end? Seems strange.

[weird-things-to-think]

Steadfass: A Wort What Means "Stik To It, Kinda?"

Ok so. Steadfass (or iz it stedfast? idk, spelin is hard 😵‍💫) is a word that mean, like, wen sumone don't quit no mater wut happins. Like, if u try to eat 100 tacos and evryone sez, "Bro, stop u gon' die!" and u be like, "NO. I MUST EET ALL THE TACOS." Dat is steadfass.

Were Did It Come From??? 🤔

Histary lesson time!!! Back in olden days, knights wuz all like, "Imma bee loyal an nevur giv up!" They prolly invented this word cuz knites luved bein’ dramatic. They wuz prolly like, "Sir Arthur, thou art sooooooooo steadfass for stabbin that dragon!!" And Arthur was all like, "Yup, das me. Steadfass AF." 🔥

Why U Need 2 Be Steadfass? 🚨

Ok look, lyfe iz hard. Like, sumtimes ur dog eats ur sandwitch, or the wifi dies, or sum1 texts u “k” and it ruinz ur day. But if u R steadfass, u don’t cry (ok maybe u cry a little), u just keep goin’. U be all, “Imma still luv my dog...but he owes me a sandwitch.” 🐶🥪

Steadfass Problums

Sumtimes ppl think bein steadfass means bein stubbern. LIKE NO. If u R steadfass about bad stuff, like wearin socks wit sanduls, ur just makin ppl mad, bro. U gotta be smart steadfass, not dumb steadfass.

How 2 Be Steadfass Like a BOSS

Don’t quit ur job even if ur boss eats tuna sammiches every day and the offis smells like 🐟💀.

Stick 2 ur diet unless ur grandma makes pie, cuz u can't say no to grandma.

Chase ur dreams like a cat chasin’ a lazer pointer. (Hint: u prob won't catch it, but LOOK COOL TRYIN.)

Final Thots

So ya, steadfass means u don’t giv up, even wen lyfe iz dum and hard. Just don’t be weird about it, ok? Remember, steadfass peeps get stuff done, but they also know wen to quit (like tacos—don’t eat 101, that’s too many).

K bye! Be steadfass or whatevr. ✌️

[sunsburns]

you make me (sick)

pairing: ex!luke castellan x woc!reader

content summary: social media au where you and luke broke up but he's not over you... and you don't think you're over him either...

—or: your ex keeps posting to get your attention

author’s note: just a silly request that made me giggle so here we are. i haven't made anything for luke in a hot minute but fuck it we ball!! (if any of you guys know a social dummy like for insta pls share cause i like make this) also layout creds to @voguesriot

part two: and i make you (sick)

♫ Von dutch by Charli xcx

♡ liked by clarisselarue , lukecastellan , and others

yourusername i’m just living that life 🍏

view comments

silenabeauregard and looking hot asf while doing it

yourusername i try my best

clarisselarue ur actually stunning pls spare me

annabethchase you’re so pretty yea okay but what about my photos creds?

yourusername only if you, percy, and grover pay me

annabethchase for what??

yourusername uh gas. that trip to the beach wasn’t free. and those snacks didn’t pay for themselves

annabethchase fair enough 😔

percyjackson BRAT!

yourusername this better be a charli reference 💚

percyjackson sure. if it helps you sleep at night

groverunderwood looking good! water was cold tho

connerstoll why are you getting dragged by children in ur comments

yourusername i babysit percy they’re my children basically

percyjackon you USED to babysit

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

DIRECT MESSAGES

clarisselarue: i don’t know if you’ve noticed but uhh HE liked your post

yourusername: who?

clarisselarue: l*ke

yourusername: oh yeah i saw lol

clarisselarue: and you’re fine with it? cause i literally remember holding a bucket in front of your because you cried so hard over the breakup that you threw up

yourusername: that was months ago

yourusername: plus it was a mutual decision to break up and we decided to stay friends

clarisselarue: you know friends actually talk to each other right?

clarisselarue: like you don’t run out of the room because he walked in

clarisselarue: you also don’t avoid each other for months

clarisselarue: you also don’t act like they don't exist

clarisselarue: you also don’t hang out with his little sister and her friends

yourusername: for your information, i was friends with annie before i was friends with him

yourusername: and it’s almost like you want me to have a bigger reaction

yourusername: i’m trying to be soo nonchalant right now lol

yourusername: but whatever i don’t care

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

♫ ALL MINE by Brent Faiyaz

♡ liked by connerstoll , charlesbeckenoff, and others

lukecastellan new hobby

view comments

percyjackson song choice is ruining ur aura bro

percyjackson -200 aura

lukecastellan why are you always hating bro ffs

percyjackson clearly i’m not hating enough

percyjackson ur posting like this is a tiktok thristtrap 🤢

groverunderwood not too much on him now 😭😭

chrisrodriguez you can beat me up with those gloves anytime

travisstoll AYO?? 😰

connerstoll chrisrodriguez this is crazy even for you 😭😭

chrisrodriguez i didn't realize being a good friend was crazy all of the sudden 😒

clarriselarue new hobby this and that but you still can’t beat me without a sword 🤨

lukecastellan i highly doubt that.

annabethchase i don't doubt it

lukecastellan ur supposed to be on my side??

annabethchase on what rules?

lukecastellan on the “that’t by brother and i love him” rules

annabethchase debatable

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

♫ Sick by Dominic Fike

♡ liked by annabethchase , yourusername, and others

lukecastellan travel + family

view comments

chrisrodriguez love u man

lukecastellan best brother i could ask for

silenabeauregard proof of luke having a heart? what the flip?

lukecastellan i’ve always had one wdym?

percyjackson this is news to me

annabethchase 💗

connerstoll posting like ur nonchalant 😭 okay man i see you

groverunderwood also SAW him crying to “lover, you should come over” the other day… so, no. definitely not nonchalant

annabethchase why r yall airing out his business rn 😭😭

percyjackson why is my dad posted up w you?? take this down.

clarriselarue two posts in one week? this is getting suspicious

lukecastellan i’m starting to get the hang of instagram

clarriselarue yet you couldn’t tag anyone..?

percyjackson lukecastellan no she’s right you need to take this down, too much of you for one week

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

DIRECT MESSAGES -- the gods’ fav girls + grover ✨

yourusername: that son of a bitch.

groverunderwood: what what happened???

silenabeauregard: good morning to you too

clarisselarue: it’s like 3:30pm

silenabeauregard: oh worm?

groverunderwood: worm?

silenabeauregard: oh word***

yourusername: oh worm?

clarisselarue: LMFAO

annabethchase: what happened?

silenabeauregard: ten bucks it’s about luke’s posts

clarisselarue: i’ll bet it up to 20 if it is

yourusername: it’s not the post...

yourusername: its the song

groverunderwood: what's wrong with the song??

silenabeauregard: which post??? yall hold on it's been like 3

clarisselarue: yeah wtf is his deal? he needs to stop clogging my feed.

yourusername: the sick one. the song with the sick

annabethchase: the dominic fike one?? i thought you loved the song?

yourusername: exactly.

clarisselarue: OHHH CLOCK IT

silenabeauregard: OMG

clarisselarue: he’s soooo trying to get ur attention

groverunderwood: type shit.

silenabeauregard: like why would he post with that song

yourusername: exactly.

annabethchase: knowing it’s ur fav...

yourusername: EXACTLY

silenabeauregard: he’s literally obsessed with you

yourusername: EXACLTYY

clarisselarue: exactly

groverunderwood: are we reaching?

annabethchase: no

silenabeauregard: doubt it

clarisselarue: there’s literally no other explaination

groverunderwood: i think you guys are feeding into the delusion. what if luke is simply just… posting?

yourusername: oh i mean truee…

annabethchase: good point, grover!

clarisselarue: so... what do we think?

groverunderwood: HES TRYNA GET YOU BACK!!!

silenabeauregard: SOO TRUEEE

clarisselarue: YUPPP

annabethchase: CLOCK IT!!

yourusername: he still down bad

annabethchase: so bad

silenabeauregard: he wants ur babies

clarisselarue: for sure for sure

yourusername: i want his too tbh...

annabethchase: AGGH EW??

clarisselarue: CRAZY

groverunderwood: DAMN

silenabeauregard: PLSSSSASFJGS

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

lukecastellan just posted on their story!

you replied to lukecastellan's story

DIRECT MESSAGES

yourusername: you’re a sick man

lukecastellan: i don’t understand?

yourusername: a slut, perhaps.

lukecastellan: if you think i look good just say so

yourusername: you’d like that wouldn’t you?

lukecastellan: maybe a little

yourusername: maybe a lot

lukecastellan: maybe

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

♫ Dark Red by Steve Lacy

♡ liked by silenabeauregard , lukecastellan , and others

yourusername me n my bag against the world

view comments

clarisselarue hey sexy ;) i’m free tonight if you wanna hmu

chrisrodriguez it’s date night tho??? clarisselarue

clarisselarue ur just a bae on the side

yourusername chrisrodriguez you got room for one more?

chrisrodriguez i feel like i’m thrid wheeling my own relationship bro

annabethchase: ur so so pretty 😍

yourusername double it and give it back to you

percyjackon you look good and all but if you zoom in on the top left of the first photo you can see a cup on the counter and i want everyone to know that i, a CHILD, was put to LABOUR, and FORCED to get up and pour water into that cup and give it to her cause she was thirsty.

yourusername i said thank you

percyjackon not ENOUGH 💙

groverunderwood ate the plate down 🥴

connerstoll ribbons on a bag?

yourusername for the aesthetic

travisstoll i will never understand

lukecastellan bag looks familiar, where’d you get it?

yourusername got it as a birthday gift a from some guy. he’s kinda weird tho...

clarisselarue this is painful even for me

lukecastellan yourusername how was he werid?

yourusername ft me and i’ll tell you all about it

groverunderwood WOAH SMOOTH OKAY

chrisrodriguez BUDDY SHE HAS MOVES

silenabeauregard i’ve taught her so well 🥲 they grow up so fast

┊ ┊ ⋆˚ 

you just posted on your story!

lukecastellan replied to your story

DIRECT MESSAGES

lukecastellan: and you said i was the sick one 🤔

yourusername: i don’t know what ur talking about 🤗

lukecastellan: yeah right

yourusername: ur just sooo attracted to mee ooooh 😵‍💫

lukecastellan: i am

yourusername: it makes you look soo dumb

lukecastellan: it does

yourusername: you want me soo bad

lukecastellan: i do

lukecastellan: i literally don't think we can stay just friends

lukecastellan: it was a fucked idea on my part

yourusername: oh

lukecastellan: please don’t block me

lukecastellan: i actually wanna talk about this and us

yourusername: wanna meet by our spot?

lukecastellan: i’ll be there in five minutes

[baekhvuns]

My internet doesn't work for 3 days and sanhwa and Kai decide to make a tiktok 😐

Let me tell u I s c r e a m e d alright? I wanted them to collab bcz just after the release of mr rover i saw this tiktok tht said "where r san and hwa?? When r they gnna dance to mr rover?" Well, there u hv it. 🥹

I flipped bro, i thought u posted 😭😭 oh also finally listened to limitless. Lemme tell u it was top anime material. Idk it sounded like an anime opening. Oh and the live hongjoong did yesterday 😭 san and hwa 😭 i think i should make it official tht san is my bias wrecker.

I drew the most seonghwa looking seonghwa ever. Trust me. It sounds weird. But that's exactly how i mean it. It's hard to study for the last exam...like I'm srry but i wasted all my motivation for the other exams so i hv none left 😀

I am in my Hollywood phase now. I listened to backstreet boys for the first time yesterday 😌 why wasn't i born in their era! One of my favourite movies is titanic...even though it gv me trauma and i cried a lot but still....soooo i was ...um thinkiiinnggg 🌚 maybeeee a titanic au would heal me.

Just saying tho bcz i hv so many ideas and i keep on asking 🥲 BCZ i just want u to write it and nobody else.

A "babe i just finished a book" gf and "tell me all about it" bf....screams the trouble with Hating u 🤧

It probably has been a long time since i said this but i hope you're taking care of yourselves and as always, slaying 😌💅✨. Make sure to stay hydrated and KEEP ON READING MY ASKS BCZ IT FEELS LIKE I HV A FRND 😭

that tiktok / collab made my entire year better 😭😭 my reaction was the same tho i had just woken up, half lidded, squinting while trying to see the timeline and boom my life ended for a quick sec <3

IM SORRY FBWHDSCJ THO I WILL POST bc i only have about 4 scenes left <33 get ready to flipped <3

YOU LISTENED TO THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME???? i rmr they were so popular in india and they’d randomly crank their music on the radios,, BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME???? BRO????? listen to nsync while ur at it 🔫 titanic au, do u rly want me to make hwa say draw me like one of ur french girls,, titanic au would come with angst unfort 🥰

thank you!!! you as well!!! hoping ur exams go well!!! 💓

[engagemythrusters]

Okay here we go.

Is this gonna be like that Great Divide ep from ATLA??

Omega I love you sm

Nobody has even spoken yet but I just gotta mention her bc I love her she’s the sweetest girl ever

Oh? Hunter using his abilities?? For once?? THATS NEW.

Thank god they mentioned echo at least once. Shows are notorious for never mentioning past characters (coughcrosshaircough)

Cid? Deceived? Wow whoda thunk…

Oh babygirl. I know. I miss him too <3

I love how sassy she is. Omega you’re giving me everything. I love u

Wrecker outside all alone: 🧍‍♂️

That’s gotta be a kid or smthn

HUNTER KEEPS USING HIS ABILITIES wow!! Twice in one ep!

Omega you smart girl what are you thinkin?

Those r some cute deer!

WRECKER!

Oh Jesus

They make him do all the hard stuff :(

I mean I get it but also it does make me sad :(

Tech stop antagonising Wrecker I stg

Tech…

He’s having his own hard time coping isn’t he.

Oh omega sweetie be careful

OH SWEETIE

oh tech jumping in after her good big brother

Third time using his senses? Damn Hunter is on a roll today. Fucking finally!

Journey to the center of the earth vibes

It’s so pretty!

Oh no… wreckers gonna hate that 😂

Techs better at change than I am… bro learned that coping skill early on I bet. Good for autism… bad for comforting sisters

Okay edit. actually I don’t think it’s a coping skill so much as him trying to cover his emotions bc he can’t process them

Autism xoxo

WRECKER 😂

“If the shot is not precise” this is why you need crosshair!!! Go fucking kidnap him!

Abandoned… oh nooo :(

Cid I am so fucking annoyed with you

OOOH YEAH GUILT TRIP HER TECH

Fuck you cid

Okay overall… I did like this one!! I’m excited to see how they get off planet next ep.

wednesday! time to go be frustrated by the new bad batch ep.

[waterinathermostat]

.

[mediocre-daydreams]

hello 🫶🏻🫶🏻 can i req a peter parker x stark!reader who r also bffs (with feelings 4 eachother) where both of them have this little game they like to play with eachother where they make up like insane conversations and the other has to follow along until they get tired ?? like “oh you look fine even though you got stabbed by an alien yesterday” “u dont look too shabby for someone who had to give birth to a baby” IDK like anything u want but they didnt know that their conversations were getting overheard by the other avengers and once the avengers come together and talk about it they’re like wait.. why the fuck does it sound like [] have two children at home and are secretly married IDK ANYTHING U WANT BUT AS CRAZY AS POSSIBLE i love crack fics

TYSM <33

— 🦜

i've been putting this off bc i love the idea and want it to be perfect so i stayed up late last night and in my delirious haze i came up with some dialogue prompts and i woke up this morning and found it in my notes so here's the beaut! i lowkey love it thank you 🦜 !!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞

peter parker x stark! reader

summary: at first, you and peter were like "let's see who can uphold the most ridiculous conversations," but bro... you don't think the sexual tension is a joke anymore, and neither do the other avengers.

w/c: 3.1k

notes: crack crack crack, fluff, swearing, many sexual innuendos (and also just jokes about sex outright) and swears (c'mon it's me), mentions of abortions and roe v wade in a humorous context, murder, cannibalism, and foot fetishes in a humorous context, one "ur mom" joke, if it sounds crazy that's because it is crazy and i think u should just read it already

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

you and peter’s friendship was anything but normal. well, you supposed, nothing could ever be normal for the two of us. peter’s an arachnid abomination and i’m the daughter of an egotistical billionaire who cosplays as a flying suit.

there were two ways in which your relationship was unusual. one: the practically nonexistent line between platonic and romantic, which everybody just always had to point out. the two of you had always been a bit touchy-feely—to be fair, mostly with each other, but were you really to blame? you were stuck in a tower full of traumatized assassins, spies, and people in metal suits; it wasn’t like there was any good cuddling options around. peter was a self-described “nerd and loser,” so girls weren’t exactly lining up to cuddle with him either. 

two: you had a game going on (if it could even be called that). peter had a hard time transitioning into an “official” member of the team, so you, being the coolest and closest to his age, tasked yourself with the responsibility of being his friend.

what started as making up nonsensical greetings or coming up with more and more obscure versions of “see ‘ya later, alligator” had spiraled into a competition of who could keep the most ridiculous conversations going.

--

you were sitting beside natasha at the kitchen bar, the two of you nursing copious amounts of black coffee and sporting dark eye bags. (so maybe karaoke with katy and shang-chi on a wednesday night wasn’t the greatest idea you’d ever had.)

peter took a double-take as he made his way towards the fridge, looking perfectly refreshed and wide awake.

“lookin’ good!” peter clicked his tongue at you in greeting, smirking at the scowl on your face. he knew you would’ve flipped him off had you not been holding your drink.

“thanks,” you drawled sarcastically. “i’ve been trying this new diy skincare routine, where you use curdled breastmilk as a face mask for 20 minutes. it’s really helping with my dark circles.”

natasha, the woman who was never caught off guard, was caught off guard.

peter hummed thoughtfully as he poured himself a glass of milk, which he was now losing his appetite for. “20 minutes seems pretty short, don’t ‘cha think? i keep my menstrual blood mask on for at least 35 minutes.”

you scoffed, taking a large swig of your coffee and wincing at its bitterness. “yeah, well you should probably do it for longer. i can see your premature wrinkles forming from here.”

peter slipped into the seat beside you and smiled in greeting to natasha, whose eyes were bleary and unfocused. peter turned to shove his face close to yours.

“hm, maybe you should try juice cleansing. your skin is looking awfully dull today, unlike mine, which is dewey and radiant.”

you rolled your eyes. “sure, dude. look at your birdnest for hair.” you tangled your fingers through his mess of curls and scratched his scalp. peter couldn’t hide the content groan that slipped from his mouth.

“if my skin is dull, your hair is practically straw. unlike mine, which is easy, breezy, beautiful: covergirl.” you made a big show of preening your bedhead.

natasha made gagging noises. “alright, you two are disgusting. in more ways than one. can you please stop, because i’m so hungover right now and i will not hesitate to aim my projectile vomit onto one of your faces.”

you and peter looked at each other with big grins. peter shot finger guns at natasha. “eyy, that’s the spirit!”

--

you and peter found it especially funny to start these sorts of conversations in front of steve and bucky. not only were the two perplexed by modern lingo, they were also the most gullible two people on the team, which made them easy targets.

bucky and steve exchanged testosterone-fuelled jabs at each other in the sparring ring as you tied your shoelaces as peter sprayed his face with water. the two of you listened to the grunts of exertion and the various gruff noises that filled the air to appease the two supersoldiers’ masculinities.

you sighed, stretching your sore arms. you and peter had been fooling around with the gym equipment for an hour now, waiting for bucky and steve’s match to finish (and it didn’t look like either of them planned on backing down anytime soon). with a final tug on your shoelaces, you looked up at peter curiously, who blushed at your wide, innocent eyes. or perhaps he was just red from the exercise.

“you smell really good,” you commented, bumping your shoulder against his. “what cologne do you use?”

peter paused to consider his response. “it’s… my au naturale body odor. it’s cruelty free and uh, vegan.”

“that’s so earth conscious of you!” you gushed, running a warm hand up and down peter’s arm. though he was sweaty, gross, and overheated, he shivered at your touch.

“y-yeah. i haven’t showered in three weeks. it really enhances the… musky base notes of the scent. it’s very masculine,” he nodded as if he knew what he was talking about.

“well, it’s very aromatic. i like it.” you patted peter’s bicep definitively, jumping to your feet as you bent in half to stretch out your limbs. peter stared at your ass toned calves, and thought that he should work on his legs as well.

“oh hey, it looks like bucky and steve are done!” you pointed at the two heaving supersoldiers, who had stopped fighting altogether so they could stare at you and peter.

bucky mouthed “what the fuck?” to steve. steve mouthed “language” back.

--

peter was busy scrawling illegible physics notes as he, tony, and bruce watched planet earth intently. bruce was busy jabbering away at the “incredible biological discoveries” that david attenborough was narrating, and tony was absentmindedly filing his nails while occasionally poking peter in the back with his toe to correct him on a mistake he’d written.

“hey dad. bruce.” you caught sight of peter’s unmistakable form, hunched over the glass coffee table with papers scattered haphazardly across the surface and a bulletpoint pen between his teeth tha you found very seductive endearing.

“hey peter!” you squeaked. “it’s- uh, fancy seeing you here!” you blurted, cheeks heating as peter turned to you with his cute stupid fucking glasses.

“hey,” he raised his eyebrows. “you come here often?” peter purred lowly.

you gulped, unsure as to why he was bothering you so much today. maybe your period had come early.

“no, actually. i was stopping by to meet my real estate agent here; i’m loving this property,” you played along, tucking yourself into peter’s side.

“ah, well, they’re not here at the moment. i think they got stopped at security—something about smuggling exotic animals. but i could be your tour guide, if you want? i’m very… thorough.” peter waggled his eyebrows.

david attenborough began discussing whale mating habits.

“oh, are you now?” you challenged, biting your lip smugly as you watched peter began to stutter.

“y-yes, i am. and, as a matter of fact,” peter turned to pull something from his pocket. he presented you with a microfiber cloth. “i’m such a gentleman, i’ll even clean you up after.”

peter’s head was suddenly slammed into the glass table. tony had rammed his foot (not just the toes) against peter’s curls.

“stop sexing up my daughter, spiderling. i’ll take out your suit’s built-in heater.”

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, mr. stark,” peter sputtered.

you giggled at his immediate change in attitude. leaning in, you murmured into his ear. “me, you, my bedroom, nine pm. i’d like that thorough tour.”

neither of you were sure if the offer was genuine.

--

sam had invited the team to a backyard party with his family, but not without warning everybody to watch their language around the kids. (it was an empty threat; everyone knew sam would be the first to slip up.)

you were “chatting” with a little kid; in other words, nodding along as they infodumped about cretaceous period with surprising expertise for a 5 year old.

you felt a poke in your side and screamed embarrassingly loudly. peter stared at you for a second, cheeks puffing and lips pinching together, before he burst into laughter. spit went flying all over your face.

“ew, you nasty! eugh,” you made a big deal of it. looking at the kid, you pointed at peter. “c’mon, let’s attack him! like a… brachiosaurus!”

the kid looked at you disdainfully. “the brachiosaurus was a herbivore, idiot. and it lived during the jurassic era, not the cretaceous period.”

your jaw dropped at the child’s betrayal. the mini-paleontologist toddled away, leaving you and peter dumbfounded.

“i sure missed a lot,” peter gaped.

“i- apparently, yeah.” you tucked your head into peter’s shoulder, fiddling with your empty plate. conversation buzzed steadily around you, but you and peter only cared about each other.

the two of you sat in comfortable silence, watching as sam teased his sister and as wanda was unsuccessfully trying to teach bucky how to use a pair of tongs. (bucky insisted that his vibranium hand could do the same job.)

“so, how many of those things have you eaten?” peter pointed his chin towards your empty plate.

“uh, approximately four.”

peter nodded approvingly. “four’s pretty good. you still hungry though? i could go for some food right now.”

you smiled evilly, untangling yourself from peter. “oh petie… i’m always hungry. i was skeptical at first, but damn, do these barbeque grilled fetuses hit. they’re gluten free, i think.” 

you stood up and yelled over the table to sam. “hey, are these things gluten free?” you pointed to where wanda and bucky were tussling over the grill.

sam looked at you incredulously. “no?” 

you turned back to peter. “well, you heard the man. at least they’re ethically sourced, though. better eat up quick, before roe v. wade gets overturned. fuck scotus.”

“yeah, fuck scotus. i’m all for womens’ sexual liberation. anyway, once you’re done, can you fuck me too?” peter deadpanned.

you choked. “oh, wow. you got me that time. i concede. i-”

--

“so, what’ja do for your art project?” you and peter were entwined on a common area armchair, you resting casually on peter’s lap with one hand pressed to his chest and peter’s arms pulling you even closer to his body.

“i made a collage of my feet pics.”

“huh.” you nuzzled your nose into the collar of peter’s shirt, taking a deep inhale of his cologne (his actual cologne, not his au naturale body odor). “for free?”

“what?” peter, much like everybody else in the room (who were all clearly listening but pretending not to.)

“i mean, you’re showing your feet pics for free? you’re spiderman, pete. you could charge so much for them. here, you can use my onlyfans account.” you began to pull out your phone.

“DAUGHTER?” tony roared from the couch diagonal to the two of you. whoops.

“…father?”

“can somebody tell me why my pure, uncorrupted, virtuous daughter is in the lap of a hormonal, horny teenage boy? god knows what the white sticky stuff actually is…” tony cursed under his breath. “and would somebody like to explain why the words onlyfans, peter parker, and feet pics are being used in the same sentence and coming out of my daughter’s mouth?” 

you cringed at all the innuendos (intentional and unintentional) that tony had just dropped in front of nearly the entire team.

bruce choked on the sandwich he was eagerly chowing into. natasha choked on air. wanda was biting back a mischievous smile and steve looked like he was about to faint.

bucky leaned over to sam and loudly whispered, “what’s an onlyfans?”

--

friday rolled around, which meant it was time for the avengers’ weekly family bonding event. this week, it was movie night. wanda and natasha were clapping enthusiastically as sam and bucky danced along to the jingle bell rock winter talent show performance, which meant you and peter could snuggle up to each other and converse freely without fear of being overheard.

peter’s head was in your lap, and you were mindlessly scratching and tugging at his curls as you smiled at your teammates’ antics. even from this odd, unflattering angle, peter couldn’t help but think you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. the television screen illuminated your face and made your eyes sparkle more than they usually did. and he had the perfect view of your lips—so soft, sensual, always containing such happiness, always begging to be kissed…

“hey bug?” you looked down at peter, smiling softly with the look you seemed to only reserve for him.

“hi,” peter whispered breathlessly, heart racing at the nickname. the corners of his eyes crinkled in the way that seemed to be only reserved for you.

“uh, this might be a- a little forward, but what are your weekend plans, ‘cause-”

“homicide.”

“excuse me?” you squinted at peter.

“you heard me. this weekend, i plan on committing homicide.”

you sniffed, a little disappointed in where the conversation had gone but willing to play along nevertheless.

“that’s it?”

“what do you mean, that’s it? what are you doing?”

you smirked deviously. “UR MOM!” you burst into a fit of giggles that peter found adorable, so he couldn’t stop himself from laughing with you.

“my mom- my mom’s dead!” he said through cackles.

the two of you looked at each other and only laughed harder, garnering the attention of the rest of the team. 

wanda opened her mouth to speak, but tony was too quick.

“alright, this has been going on for too long. peter, off of my daughter. daughter, off from… underneath the kid.” he cursed. “god, that sounds so wrong.”

“what?” you questioned, genuinely confused at what the issue was.

peter rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a warm pink crawling up his cheeks and to the tips of his ears.

“what? the problem is, you two are discussing matricide in front of a team of superheroes, not to mention practically dry-humping each other in a public space! not that it would be acceptable in a private space, but you get what i mean,” tony gritted.

“while we’re at it, can we talk about how your daughter has a stash of breast milk? and peter has menstrual blood? where do you even get the menstrual blood, peter?” natasha shook her head before gasping in horror. “it’s not- it’s not hers, is it?”

you waved your hands. “no, ew, gross! on the plus side, if it were hypothetically mine, that would mean i’m not pregnant.”

tony glared at you, finger in the air pointing shakily at your chest.

“okay, am i the only person who’s worried about the murder bit? because i’m pretty sure the kids were talking about cannibalizing dead fetuses at the party i threw last weekend—”

tony shrieked. “excuse me? you just said you weren’t pregnant, missy. where are you getting the fetuses from?”

“i said, hypothetically, but anyway-”

tony slapped himself in the face a few times. “god, this is why we need to stock up on condoms around here. do you guys even have sex ed in school? i don’t care if the two of you,” he waved a finger between you and peter, “are doing the deed—wait no, i do—but please tell me you’ve had the banana demonstration.”

“tony, i think the kids are quite a nice couple,” steve chimed in bravely. tony spun around and gave him a withering glare, but the supersoldier didn’t back down. “i said what i said. well, peter should definitely shower more, three weeks is criminally disgusting, but other than that, they’re good for each other.”

wanda nodded seriously. “i can hear both of them thinking about jumping each others’ bones every time i see them together. it’s kind of annoying, actually. so if you just let them fuck, my mind would greatly appreciate that.”

bruce sighed. “the sexual tension is so obvious that david attenborough doesn’t even need to narrate it for me to identify it. it’s like when those two whales were mating…”

tony dragged his hands down his face, overwhelmed. you and peter’s hands had found their way closer to each other, despite your bodies being a modest distance apart, and your pinkies intertwined reassuringly.

“care to explain?” tony waved his hands around. “the sexual tension bit? the cannibalism? the feet fetishes? just… anything?”

“it was a joke, i swear, mr. stark!” peter jabbered desperately. “it’s… a game we play. where we try and come up with the most ridiculous conversations and then just keep it going.”

you nodded furiously. “right! and i’m totally the winner. none of it was real. plus, friday would have alerted you if i ever made an onlyfans account.”

tony stroked his chin contemplatively. “so, the sexual tension bit? that was also a joke?”

peter opened his mouth, “ye-”

you opened your mouth, “no!”

the two of you gaped at each other.

“what we mean to say is, no, it’s not a joke! yes, there is… sexual tension.” you widened your eyes at peter pleadingly.

tony mumbled angrily to himself, pacing the room as the avengers watched the live-action reality tv unfold before them.

“is there really sexual tension between is?” peter hissed at you.

“uh, yeah. unless you were being serious about wanting to thoroughly fuck me and also fuck me after i went through the entire supreme court, then no, that would just be flat-out sexual.”

peter pursed his lips. “right, okay then. you’re right. there is sexual tension between us.”

you mock pouted. “so you’re saying you don’t want to thoroughly fuck me?”

peter turned bright red just as tony turned to the two of you, who had gotten much closer to each other in the time that he’d been worrying.

“gross! i’m getting secondhand cooties. whatever, you guys go have a play date or something. just… please be more classy than cady and aaron, dear god. the teenage foolery in this movie is actually-” tony shuddered, unable to express himself with words.

“i’m still interested in the property, y’know?” you whispered.

“well then, can i extend another real estate tour offer?”

“absolutely. and i will gladly take you up on that offer.”

you took peter’s hand, the two of you giggling madly as you raced and slipped down the hall towards your bedroom. you heard tony groaning and whining from the common room before he shouted, “keep it pg-13 in there!”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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taglist:

@bambamwolf87 @cowboibeepbeep @yourallihave @im-a-slut-for-fluff

[mizunetzu]

Hello sweets. May I get Tenya,Kirishima and Todoroki with a male s/o that has anger issues and gets mad very easily but they can't be taken seriously because they look cute and squishy when their angry. Pronouns are he/him. Thank you!

Bro this request is so cute I’m—

——————

Iida, Todoroki, and Kirishima with a cute, angry s/o

⚠️Warnings - fluff idk, none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Iida:

THIS MAN STRUGGLES SO MUCH AROUND YOU

He knows you get mad easily and that he should take you and your emotions very very seriously but

Ugh he wants to just pick you up and wrap you around his arms

HES TRYING HIS BEST OK GIVE HIM A BREAK

One time he deadass almost started crying bc of u

Ok so

Y’all were studying in his dorm

He was helping you with math because you didn’t really understand the lesson today

You were getting kinda irritated

You couldn’t figure it out for the life of you ong

Iida found it

Very

Very

V E R Y

Hard to concentrate when you were acting so FUCKING CUTE

he understood you were irritated and mad and couldn’t understand how to do the equation but,,,your cheeks looked so soft puffed out,,,and the way you were furrowing your brows and pouting your lips and—

Mans looked borderline constipated tryna hold in his blush

Inside he was all:

“No no! You mustn’t! Y-you need to concentrate! This is a very s-s-serious matter and (L/n)-kun’s feelings should be taken seriously! Stop it, Tenya! Stop it stop it stop it!”

He was on the verge of fucking tears lemme tell you that

But UGH

HE FOUND YOU SO CUTE

He 100% thinks it’s a guilty pleasure because you want to be taken seriously and he wants to respect that but everyone finds you cute when you’re mad too

Everyone can see the face of pure struggle on Iida when your mad and he’d tryna stop himself from picking you up and swinging you around in him arms

Can you see how much I love Iida

——————

Todoroki:

Can and will not hide the fact he thinks ur cute

I mean it’s not like he’s over dramatic abt it

But like

He Can and Will pinch your cheeks when you’re angrily ranting because he thinks you’re adorable

He’s blunt what do u think HAHAHAHA

Ok so one time you burst into his dorm room really mad

But here’s the thing

Todoroki may be smart but he’s dumb yk LMAO

He didn’t think you were mad, purely because he was staring at your furrowed brows and puffed up red cheeks

You started ranting and ranting about something but tbh this man was just nodding at staring at your cheeks

“Hey! Are you even liste-wH-?”

He-

HE BIT YOUR CHEEK—

Well not like hard— more like cupped his lips around the mold of ur cheek and closed it but it was more like a harmless bite

Todoroki didn’t realize what he did until you coiled back and held your cheek with an angry, flustered face

“W-w-what the hell?!”

“...sorry.”

You fucking tsundere

He said he was sorry but he wasn’t 💀💀

He kept pinching and touching your cheeks while you angrily protested

“Stop touching me!”

“I’m sorry.”

He really isn’t

Stop pretending you don’t like this

He likes it too

Kirishima:

BAKUGOU, BUT MAKE HIM CUTE WHEN HES ANGRY INSTEAD OF DEADLY N MURDEROUS

Ok so like todoroki he wouldn’t hide the fact he thought you were cute but also like Iida he would try and keep it in

He respects ur manly wishes yo 😤😤

Whenever you’d angrily rant about something, he’d hype you up and shit

Even though most of the time he doesn’t know what ur saying or what he’s saying bc he’s too busy swooning over your cute pout

“Yeah! Fuck that shit! Fuck Sero!”

“...”

“Wait why are we fucking Sero—“

He does a real good job of keeping it in

But this one day

This ONE DAY—

You came into his dorm, angry and holding up an empty bento box

“Did you eat all my onigiri?! I-I was savin-i was-urrrgh!”

You were so angry you couldn’t speak

You were fumbling with your sentences, waving the box around and shit

Kirishima Physically Could Not

He got up from his bed and fucking BEAR HUGGED YOU

GLOMPED YOU

SQUEEZED THE EVER LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU

“Ugggggh! You’re so cute! I can’t take it anymore! I’ll buy you more I swear but aaaaargh!”

You were still mad but now you were so mad and flustered nothing was coming out of your mouth

Kirishima was dangling you and hugging you and squeezing you and ugh

Mans let out a school years worth of holding in his affections and how much he wanted to fucking squeeze you to death

Not in a mean way but yk

——————