#but even THAT isnt gonna make me feel better bc im into the like. sad arc. and thatll just make me feel sad and weird. :(

[guinevereslancelot]

applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏

[nomaishuttle]

gd. i need to watch 10 things i hate about you again

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

head in hands . things need 2 stophappening i need a break

[rayroseu]

Masquerade Malleus Vignette Spoilers✨

Cuz I only managed to groovify it rn ☠️☠️

its always implied that Malleus is strict with anything but seeing it on full action... makes me think that this is how Lilia taught him as he grow up... strict and unrelenting nsiwnkns🥹🥹🥹

it makes me ache because we know in contrast to Silver's upbringing, Silver got the softer version of Lilia's teaching 😭😭😭😭

Also as a deuce kinnie... Malleus as a strict person will be the nemesis of my weak asf attention span frrrr😂😂 my productivity will thank him loads though...🥹🥹

but heyyyy atleast youre gonna hear ✨malleus draconia sing the same specific lyric over and over✨ despite being trapped in diasomnia indefinitely lol

YSBIHWBIBID I LOVE THIS LINE MALLEYUU IMPLICATION LETSSGOO

Oh but now i want a scene of Malleus ruminating about his NRC invitation now 🥹🥹🥹 gahhh imagine him being all prideful and thinking "a human magic school have the audacity to educate him about magic" who areyou kidding??? And and imagining him spending weeks about this invitation as well if he accepts it he'll be able to go outside but would the outside welcome him???

I'm getting sad that Malleus probably prepared himself to be isolated, feared, and excluded😭😭 His school experience didn't even start yet he's already prepared that its going to be desolate and not as intriguing as Lilia tells him to be... And the fact that his grim expectations is what happened for the first 2 years he had at NRC.... 😭😭😭

Imagine Lilia trying to cheer him up that it'll be better next time... That he'll surely get along with someone eventually 🥹🥹 but Malleus is tired of getting hopeful about a companion now bcs he experienced way too often that this hope is always not going to be met💔

In exception of this line being a reference to Yuu being Malleus' good friend--- this vignette is also nice because we see him work together for a performance with other NRC students without anyone making rude comments about his status 🥹🩷💝💞 like this is essentially what Lilia envisions Malleus' school years to be... A memory where he gets along with everyone 🥹✨✨

HFBWUBDUBSUBS THERE IT ISSSS MY MALLEYUU 💝💞💝💞💝💞 i love his smile beneath that mask, hes so cute aarghhh hsgib🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

He doesn't even process that he's so delighted to hear people liking his gift, that how much he's so happy 😭😭😭💖💖💖

malleus why do you seem surprised at the thought of you looking happy... 🥹 Im feeling so emotional about the fact that Yuu notices his core emotions ALWAYS nfibcjd like when he resists that "he isnt lonely, he's just alone" in book 7 now here in this vignette he didn't even process that he's expressing happiness until Yuu points it out 😭😭💞💞💞

WE CAN DANCE FOREVER IF YOU WANT TO AAAAAA 💝💞💝💞💝💞💝💞💝💝💞💖💖💘💘💘💘

My angel of music... He's so gorgeous in this groovy and it perfectly matches the animation too like the sparkles after the thorns unveiling him.... It feels like he teleported infront of us magically and offered his hand for a dance🥹✨💝💞💖💖

[moose-muffin]

im new here (hiya from the hazbin tag lol) but if you do character + character requests than please PLEASE gimmie a lee!vox with ler!alastor 🙏🙏🙏hear me out... the two are fighting and al (sHocKINglY) wins out, and vox expects to like.. be beaten into the ground as a result, but nope!! he gets tickled!!! to tears!!!! smthn smthn he wasnt smilin and, yk, youre never fully dressed w/o a smile!!!

/nf to do tho ty for reading!!! <3<3

OMG OMG HELLO WELCOME I HOPE YOURE DOING GOOD YIPPEE

SO FUN FACT I WAS VERY LIKE NEUTRAL TO RADIOSTATIC BUT TONIGHT HAS BEEN (HAHAH GET IT) AN ADVENTURE AND THIS ROAD HAS BEEN SUCH A BLAST <3 THOSE TWO FUCKERS ARE SO INSTIGATIVE ITS CRAZY.

I KNOWWWW THIS AS A FIC WOULD GO C R A Z Y!!!!! IDK IF ANYONE HERE WRITE FOR VOX AND ALASTOR AND PERHAPS DOES COMMISSIONS BUT I WILL PAY!!!! PLEASE HIT ME UP OR ILL PROBABLY GO TAKE A PEAK FOR MYSELF TMR <3 AS LONG AS THATS OK ANON. (I WILL ABSOLUTELY LET IT BE POSTED AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR IS OK WITH IT WHICH USUALLY THEY ARE!!!!) IM GONNA TAKE SOME CREATIVE LIBERTIES AS I TYPICALLY DO HEADCANONS!

IM NOT USUALLY A CHARACTER + CHARACTER GIRLY SO BEAR WITH ME BUT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST!!!! HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS JUSTICE! IT WILL BE RANDOM HCS THAT ARE UNRELATED TOO. MY BRAIN IS A MESSY PLACE HWBSHWDBD

OK SO LIKE I KINDA MENTIONED, THEY BOTH LOOOOVE TO JUST GET UNDER PEOPLES SKIN. LOVE IT!!! ESPECIALLY ALASTOR. HES SUCH AN ASS (affectionate)

I’D EVEN SAY HE’S KIND OF AN INSTIGATIVE LER???? BRO IS DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO GET TO TICKLE VOX LIKEEE IDK IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE BUT I KNOW ITS TRUE. HE WILL CASUALLY WIGGLE HIS FINGERS IN CONVERSATION, TWEAK HIS RIBS FROM BEHIND, LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL THEYRE NOT LITTLE. ESPECIALLY NOT TO VOX WHO IS SO FLUSTERED BY IT… ITS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

BUT! VOX HAS STARTED TO FIGURE IT OUT. AS HE IS ALSO ONE WHO LOVEEES TO GET UNDER SKIN, HE DECIDES HE’LL DO EVERYTHING TO TRIGGER A LER MOOD IN ALASTOR. IF HE CAN TELL HE ALREADY HAS ONE, HE FINDS WAYS TO SUBTLY (WE ALL KNOW HE ISNT SUBTLE THOUGH) LEAVE A SPOT UNPROTECTED. BUT ALASTOR DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION!!! HE TRIES SO HARD TO NOT GIVE IN TO VOX BC HE “WANTED TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL” AND NOW HE ISNT AND HES #PISSED

ALSO VOX ABSOLUTELY IS HORRIFIED OF VULNERABILITY. YET HE IS ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT WITH ALASTOR HERE. SOMEHOW HE ISNT AS WORRIED ANYMORE. MAYBE HE KNOWS ALASTOR WILL REACT. HE LOVES THAT SO VERY MUCH.

AS FOR THE SPECIFIC PROMPT, OH THAT IS SO REAL!!!! ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

I DONT WRITE GOOD ROMANCE BUT LIKE UGH IMAGINE IT NOW. Alastor definitely just got himself to the V’s tower and was planning on fucking with Vox only to see he had already been kinda pissed off. Alastor wouldn’t be as satisfied if he knew he didn’t cause the frustration. He realized he could just stir the pot again. Problem solved, and what better way to solve it than using his weakness against him.. being tickled.

I’m being a little silly but genuinely Vox is so ticklish. Like most ticklish person in hell would go to him if it were an official title. That’s what I’m thinking. That being said, Alastor also knows how quickly he could get him to crumble… but wouldn’t it be more fun to take it slow.

Vox notices his presence almost immediately. He tried to ignore it as he feels his face get warm. He can’t fuck this up. He takes a deep breath and turns around. “Why hello, Alastor! What brings you to our building this evening?” He said in a semi newcaster voice. He wasn’t ready to drop the act

“Well Vox, I came here for a reason of my own but then I walked by your office and you looked so sad!” He began to walk closer to Vox. “You know, t they say you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

Vox let out a laugh that was quite clearly untruthful. “Yes Alastor I am aware! I was alone in here and so I figured I’d just save up some energy. I’m sure you understand.”

“Quite frankly I don’t,” Alastor paused, “I think maybe I could help you get that smile back.”

Vox didn’t even have to think. He knew Alastor meant he was going to tickle him. You could ask Velvette. She’s seen those two in tickle fights that lasted for DAYS. she knows what they’re capable of, or more so what Alastor is capable of.

Vox puts up a fight for maybe a couple seconds but he just loves tickles more than he can play pretend that he doesn’t <3

It works out well for them both, Alastor gets to fuck around with Vox and well, Vox gets his shit rocked!!! And he loves that more than a lot of things.

OK IM GONNA CUT IT OFF HERE BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME BACK!!!! IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING!! MAYBE ID DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN OR LIKE ADD ONTO THIS!!! BUT I AM JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE CURRENTLY HEHE. I HOPE THESE ARE ENJOYABLE!!! (LOWKEY I WANNA ADD MORE TO THISSSS MAYBE TMR MAYBE TMR WE’LL SEE)

apologies if anything is ooc, i just do this for funsies <3

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASKK

[deathdetermineslife]

hello want to talk about husband but it is a bit venty so . take this repost of my art in compensation! all of that uh. under the cut !!! :)

I dislike being venty on this blog bc. idk I just don't like it very much even though it's my own blog but if you're reading this hi thank you you don't have to I just want to get thoughts out and talk about husband.

a lot lately I get this weird insecurity that he wouldn't like me for one reason or another and obviously rationally I know this isn't the case and he's my husband, but at the same time my brain is evil and is like. lol. he wouldn't like you. and so many people don't think he would like you either. which is !!! ahh !!! :( like I know it's not true because I have over 1,000 of you now which I'm so grateful for and I'm planning something special for such a big milestone like that, but sometimes I'm like :) haha. haha ha. husband doesn't like you. haha.

mnbgjmgm which I know he does but I also don't know that because I can't hear him say that to me. I just imagine it which is hard because when insecurity strikes me one of the first things I go to other than my friends not liking me is he doesn't like me which crushes me a lot.

I sound. absolutely just. ridiculous right now but still knbgsmhhak :( he's like my real husband to me bc im ficto he's my man. mine. and sometimes I'm like . LOL NO HE ISNT. uhgmbah. maybe I feel like this bc the only real like relationship I've ever had I was cheated on really badly (like. eight different guys badly.) so I just look at him sometimes and feel like "he would want someone so much better than you he's would leave you if he was real" and that makes me really sad so I try not to think about it but it's hard because I love him so much.

LIKE LOL I'm ficto partly because he can't cheat on me! he can't do all the things ppl did to me! but mental illness brain makes me go. lol he would tho. sorry j sound like a broken record I think.

anyways uh. lack of decent posts recently have been because of this, partly, and some irl things that have burnt me out. same with selfshipgushing I promise I'm coming back I just have not a lot of energy. very tired. I've been tired.

so many people come in my inbox and say nice things to me and I love you all so much for it and I try to post them but brain is like ! I can't! ah! no no! no! because someone is gonna see it and laugh at it and think "lol no one actually thinks that he's sending those to himself" which I'm NOT I just. hsksnshslnagks. bad anxiety these days I suppose. not very confident in myself like I thought I was, either.

sorry this is so dumb idk why im posting this on Tumblr even I just wanna vent about something somewhere bc sometimes I feel like doing it in discord makes me uncomfortable bc it's such a private place and I don't want ppl to feel like they're obligated to respond bc they chose to be in a server with me so I post on Tumblr instead where I give u a warning and tell h to scroll and ignore if you want

hmsnshsmnga. it's hard sometimes knowing that so many people on Tumblr like me but! brain is like !!! they don't actually like you or your ship they just like your content and no one even likes Korekiyo anyways so!!! what does it matter right !!! and then I'm like no they do like you but brain is evil and mental illness makes me overthink everything.

anyways I really love him a lot and I know deep down he loves me too and I'm his one and only forever but braiiinnnn doesn't want me to think thisss

I'm dizzy. ushahauha okay I'm gonna go now bye bye don't wanna talk no more thank you if you read all this I hope I can make someone else read this and go "wow Lachlan I get It me too"

[ganondoodle]

read about all the armor set pieces i never bothered to fin before stopping to play to make sure i wasnt missing any potential useful info and came across the thing that im guessing is the reward for the shrines given its description and i just

kinda sank back into sadness and desperation bc of how much i dont like it and im fearing they are just gonna mess it all up even further

i said it before but i have a seething hatred for how totk hurts botw in retrospect, like wow i liked the mystery of the sonau but never wanted an answer to it, i liked the mystery of who the ancient hero was bc of its strange depiction and man did i not want this kind of answer, some things not having an answer can be more interesting than having one, cant we focus on going forward instead of looking back further and further, it was fine with the shiekah but at the end of botw it felt like a relieved sigh of "ok the past is gone and done, now we can built a better future and move o-" NOPE LOL LOOK BACK EVEN FURTHER THERE WERE THE COOLEST PEOPLE EVEN FURTHER IN THE PAST OMG YOU GUYYSSS LOOKS HOW COOL THEY WERE AND ALSO FUCKED IT ALL UP LOOOOOK LOOOK

like in general i have nothing against introducing a new species/nation to zelda but the way they did the sonau is just nothing but frustrating to me, coming out of basically nowhere and suddendly being shoved into EVERYTHING, everything shiekah, basically erased bc ACTUALLY the sonau were here first lol and they were so much cooler and better in every aspect dont you DARE even THINK of any other boring old group central to the better game of the two (botw)

like i get it they are the new cool thing but they feel so much more suddendly FORCED into EVERY aspect of both lore and world and how everyone absolutely obsesses over them its like the devs were so scared of the player not being interested in them that they felt the need to make every second NPC obsessed with them just so they can constantly shove in your face how interesting they are (like i think they way this was done just made me even less interested/more annoyed, sorry, their design is neat yeah but i really dont care, you failed to make me care and TELLING me to care wont change that), the ancient shiekah felt so much better integrated as a natural part of the world without being annoying about it and i just ....

i worry about whats to come, both for possible DLC, or worse even another game pretending to be connected to it or just .. in general ... especially given how successful totk was and still looks like its only praised outside of my bubble of like minded people

i now got alot of people interested into my totk rewrite but now im worried ... isnt my energy and time better spent on something else .. especially if they are just gonna make it all worse anyway/mess with it more, like after seeing how much totk disappointed me yet how successful it is i doubt it will get better again

[actualbird]

you probably already saw this in ur notifs but i have been OBSESSED with everything tot you've posted ever since my tot obsession came back. like. OH MAN I VIBE WITH YOU. YOUR IDEAS AND DISCUSSION OF CHARACTERS. CHEFS KISS. poly ot5 is my everything especially bcs it gets DEEP into every one of them :D

and i was thinking about mc's parents meeting nxx. in a scenario where maybe, they need researchers and for some reason or whatever they need someone personal, who they can fully trust including maybe some nxx stuff.

luke looks at mc. mc looks at luke.

well, if marius von hagen needed them. surely they'd be allowed to leave the program maybe temporarily.

and that's how vyn, artem, and marius have their internal parental issues brought out in full force at the sight of mc and luke with mc's parents. like they're just coddling them in the Parent way and they're both enjoying it as a Son and Daughter would. and those three are just like Oh. Wow. That Looks Nice.

artem has both parents but like based on how he's lonely as a kid i know these sorts of interactions were surely few and far between. he would Not be so emotionally repressed. marius has a loving dad but a dead mom who people blame him for and austin has said himself that he Represses. like marius. and vyn? Disastrous. yeah they would be having a Moment with that sort of scenario

and the Moments they will be having when the parenting goes to them too. because i think mc's parents are the type to parent their kid's friends too. they see these sad boys and think. Adopted.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG ASJJFKWKS it's just given me a lot of Thoughts.

hello hello, and HAHA YEAH i did see in my notifs a lot these past few days!! im so so glad you enjoy my tot stuff, i was particularly surprised that u even managed to get to me super early posts. it makes me rlly happy to see even those still enjoyable now ;w;

also pls this idea is lovely, has such fertile environment for BIG FEELS!!!!

i rlly wish we knew more about mc’s parents in canon. like i understand that theyve been yeeted into the void for narrative/player-insert-ambiguity purposes buT I HAVE A GREAT NEED!! TO SEE THEM COME BACK!!! ALL THE INTERACTIONS WLD BE LOVELY

and gosh yeah jkvkjHVJAHFKS 3 SAD BOIS R IN GREAT NEED FOR SOME FAMILIAL LOVE!! it makes me really emotional thinking about how artem, vyn, and marius have less than stellar parent-relationships for all the reasons u mention. it’s either absence, neglect, or something else altogether that just resulted in a childhood where their parents couldve been better. they werent the worst parents in the world, but they all couldve been better.

(sidenote: “and vyn? Disastrous” THATS SUCH A FUNNBY ONE-LINER FOR HIS PARENT SITUATION AKJFHVSOFAISLVALIUBA)

im So For mc’s parents vaguely becoming pseudo-parents to the other three. i mean, they already did that with luke, whats 3 more neurotic grown men?

(sidenote 2: i joke sometimes that luke is unintentionally very good at collecting father figures. aaron, that Bar L owner, a bunch of mentioned NSB seniors he worked under. people see luke and go “wow is anybody gonna son-ify that young man” and then they dont wait for an answer, they just go for it)

itd be sweet and also entertaining if mc’s parents invited them all to a dinner. i mean, the nxx boys are the people she hangs around The Most so it’s basically like meeting her friend group! her….really weird and varied friend group who REALLY want to make a good impression.

[outside of mc’s apartment, artem, marius, and vyn stall on ringing the door buzzer]

marius: ok so before we go in, i wanna ask…….what gifts did u get her parents?

vyn: this better not be a way for you to flaunt your gift

marius: it isnt! im genuinely curious!! and also hoping i’ll be less nervous if i know what you guys brought!!!

artem: i bought a kitchen knife set and sharpened them myself

vyn: i purchased the best bottle of wine i could

marius: …cool. cool cool cool cool those are lovely and reasonable gifts and now im realizing i should uh. tone mine down.

artem: huh?

vyn: what on earth did you get?

marius: it’s fine, dont worry about it, im getting vincent to drive it away right now

vyn: WHAT

luke, phasing into existence behind them without a sound: so are you three thinking of going inside any time this century?

artem, marius, vyn: AAHH

itll totally be a fun dinner all together HAHAHKJAVFKJHAS

[moomeecore]

hey, i hope this isnt rude, but i value your thoughts on betty (and simon!) and i think about your various analytical pieces often.

so i hope this isnt too vague, but. ive been thinking about the ways betty and simon might differ from each other, specifically in the way they view...everything. do you think one of them has a 'sees the big picture but misses the small details' view and the other has a 'gets lost in the details, cant see the big picture' view? im not sure if they differ here, or if they are both the 'gets lost in the details' but going opposite ways...?

FINALLY getting around to awnsering this. i got sick so it took me even longer than i thought it would (had to wait until i could retain coherent thoughts)!!

Ok So, a lot of this is extrapolating (esp for betty) and goes very into more of a headcanons and Personal Interpretations area than a, like, canon analysis. in part bc the show dosen’t give us a ton of content of these characters (i mean, there’s plenty of simon content as ice king but im talking about pre and post ice king simon here). but yea im just gonna ramble. dont take this super seriously btw guys. again a lot of this is just personal Interpretation yknow

SO i think simon is definitely a “gets lost in the details guy”. at least like, overall. that man overanalyzes things until he goes into a state of paralysis and then he just passes out. in some ways he might better about this post being-freed-from-the-curse, on the basis of "had to survive the apocalypse by thinking on his feet", but also worse about it bc of the lasting impacts of having been ice king. because one of the Big Things about ice king is that he almost never thought anything through and just did things as soon as he thought of them. i think simon probably really wants to be Not Like Ice King and so might be scared of making choices too fast or acting too impulsive. i imagine he’s very worried about behaving like ice king and thats something thats in the back of his mind most of the time, impacting his confidence in his own choices & actions. but also f&c sorta shows that he has that issue of trauma responses causing him to have emotional outbursts and make quick decisions. so thats something to keep in mind.

i think he's, like stuck in a state of being scared to do things without thinking really hard abt them but then sometimes he does that and then he usually regrets it and feels really awful afterwards. not always guilty-awful even. f&c seems to show him feeling angry a lot. to me simon deals not just with guilt over being ice king or recovering from being ice king or Having strong reactions to things or making choices he regrets… but also with Anger At The Situation - a lot of feeling confused and not sure what to do and overwhelmed, i think . (i like that they let him be angry and frustrated, not just sad and depressed. i think this is very realistic to trauma related emotional responses)

the other thing abt simon is he tends to follow other people's lead on a lot of things. i think he just likes not having to deal with the pressure of making decisions. he seems more inclined to lead around f&c than around, like, finn, though. and betty. but i think that’s in part because he was taking on a protector role w them. but yeah. he does a lot of crazy shit in f&c but very noticeably does not really act as a lead decision maker. until they get to the vampire world and they get attacked for a second that man is yelling orders and breaking a chair over his knee and pulling out a pocket knife to carve it into a stake lighting fast. which i loved that. i loved that he gained so much confidence from being in Panic Mode when confronted w vampires Because those where something he had to deal with in the apocalypse when raising marcy. he had to know what to do for marcys sake. other than that tho he's usually making suggestions at most. and agreeing to do scary crazy shit lmao . EXCEPT he decides on his own in secret to try and contact golb . hehe (motivated by wants to see his wife)

(it also seems like when he feels more confident in something he's much more capable of making choices. (makes sense) he wasnt paralyzed by anxiety when going on that research expedition with betty, probably because he was literally getting a phd (or had a phd, the show was so weird abt that) in that subject. makes sense he knows what he's doing. and also is interesting bc in ep2 of fionna and cake when he goes on an Adventure with finn he's very scared and nervous, but then talks about how he "used to be quite the adventurer in [his] day", which fits into the theme f&c had w his character where he feels out of place and less confident bc his whole ass profession isn't really relevant anymore, and everything is so different from how it used to be. so yeah. current simon has even less self confidence and confidence in his own decision making than Back In The Day simon bc of that)

id like to say that…. i think that the fact that it took betty only a few years to summon and eldritch god to free simon from his curse meanwhile it took simon 12 years to get to the point where he kidnapped a guy to use in a summoning ritual to talk to betty is interesting. bc i really do think they both love each other, and are both obsessive and co dependent. but betty went off the deep end so fast, meanwhile simon took a lot longer to do something comparatively Less Evil for betty. i think that a lot of this is because simon is just less confident in his choices, more nervous about making decisions, and *slower* at making decisions. in part because of a obsessive focus on details (i also think a buncha other stuff contributed to the difference in how long it took betty vs simon to do differing levels of fucked up shit for eachother but Yeah that’s the relevant part.)

i wouldn't say betty is a "think about the big picture, ignore the details" person though, necessarily. maybe compared to simon she is, but she's still a huge fucking nerd. she's an academic! to me she's someone who takes issues and situations that are more subjective and translates them into concretely structured language in order to guide herself through what actions she should take (my friend responded to this with “so what youre saying is betty took a philosophy class and was like ‘aw yes! Math!’” and yeah that is exactly what im saying)

i feel like canon sort of implies this, and definitely doesn't Not Imply It, but i also think canon didn't flesh out her character very well, so in a lot of ways im making my own assertions. but i think she's the type of person who likes to view things in ways that are ....not necessarily less complicated, but more concrete? like she can handle an uber complicated math problem with ease, but the way a math problem is complicated is entirely different from the way a social interaction is complicated, you know. and she's way better equipped for the first one.

so, basically, i think betty would be like: Dosent see the bigger picture.... but in a different way from simon, where instead of getting caught up on and overwhelmed by all the little details, she picks a specific angle to view the situation and then focuses on That, often to the detriment of viewing things from a wider, more complex and nuanced perspective. so better at seeing the bigger picture than simon, but still can miss a Lot…

i also feel like she leans towards viewing things as "identify a problem/issue, then find away to eliminate it" and "identify a goal, and find a way to reach it" . like i feel like she'd tackle social and personal situations in this way. it's not like she can't do things for fun or anything, but like, if she upset simon she'd go into Solving A Problem Mode and be like: “The issue is Simon Is Upset. The goal is Make Simon Not Upset. First i have to identify Why simon is Upset, and then how to make him Not Upset. This is The Current Goal I Must Complete.” like, not in an abstract sense. like shes literally narrating that to herself. i think she likes to focus in on  "what's wrong here and how do i fix it" as opposed to dwelling on emotions and exploring nuance. (which may be a contributor to how she ended up in that “there’s so little me left anymore” state by temple of mars: she was so focused on Fixing the Problem that she didn’t allow herself to really process her feelings too deeply and that took a toll on her mental health.)

simon is maybe more aware of nuance, which could be part of why he gets caught up on details because he's like "this CANT be properly categorized into something more straightforward, there's actually a billion TRILLION little details and that is stressful". like simon desperately wishes things could be simplified down more but is usually like "actually no, a million things are happening actually". he's like me he would get upset if asked to rate his pain or feelings on a number scale at the doctor (i can’t do that shit for the life of me. Those things are far too complicated to put on a number scale in my eyes). meanwhile betty just will force things into concrete categories and steps and factors that Make Sense To Her with intense fervor and if she starts to have a "this is too complicated to address" moment she feels threatened and then tries very hard to reprocess things in a way that is easier, or just does her best to ignore the things that make stuff too complicated to address

i think betty tends to view things in medium-sized chunks that incorporate some but Not All details in a situation, and that she cares about small details and being thorough but feels like accomplishing the goal is the most important thing, so is willing and able to make a quick decision if she feels it's the only choice. like. she had a limited time before the portal closed, and she chose to jump through it, because she thought "the problem is that im not with simon. simon is on the other side of the portal. ill go there" it's not that she doesn't like to think things through. she loves to think things through! its just that OVERALL she is a Doer who wants to solve the problem and thinks taking action and doing something is way better than sitting there and missing an opportunity. betty will think through the details if she has time, but if she doesnt, she just breaks things down into whatever is most easy to digest and process, and then takes the option that seems.like it will get the most desired outcome based on the available info. and also shes just very confident and headstrong. and THATS.  why she punched bella noche

In my eyes betty likes having rules and defined, structured processes about what to do or how to deal with stuff. and she dosen’t really like changing those. she's very autistic. she hates change i think. so does simon. but i think that simon would be more likely to be like: the change in situation is so upsetting that it's making it harder to think and process things, so he just gets overwhelmed and has an even harder time addressing whatever is happening or comprehending it. meanwhile betty is quick to try and find the easiest way to rerout her thinking to fit the new change, she's just really fucking pissed off and stressed out about it (part of this to me is she hates feeling powerless & hates feeling like she might fail). she copes with changes in her surroundings by finding a way to connect the changed situation as well and as fast as possible with her pre existing methods of tackling situations. i think bettys also worse at handling changes in people than changes in situation. to quote my friend when we where texting about this “Situations dont have feelings”.

Like. Betty has so many skills. so much knowledge. but isn’t great with people. And she gets to know people and figures out how to understand them and then THEY CHANGE??? ILLEGAL. and so… like…this is literally her whole thing with simon!! elements seems to imply that betty originally views things as "simon is cursed, i have to fix the curse". but when she makes an attempt to meet simon where he’s at and try to interact with him as ice king, she is unable to handle it. she is upset that he is different, so much so that she concludes the only way to view things is to see them as separate people, even though it was implied that she wasn't doing that before! she was approaching it like he was Simon With Memory Loss…..but then she does her villain betrayal scene and now she's all "things will be back to just me and simon, and you won't exist" . meaning before she directly started interacting with him, she was able to view him as simon, but when she did interact with him for an extended period of time and found out how different he had become, she felt so threatened by this that the only way she could handle it was by switching her view in order to not have to confront the idea that simon could have changed that much. it also meant switching her view to a place where she would be okay hurting simon. but when he starts to protest, get upset, ask what's wrong, and worst of all, insist that he's worthy of respect, that starts to stress her out and she has to talk out loud to herself to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing

and in that scene simon goes "i don't know who this simon guy is, im ice king", which i think is a Big line - he's responded to simon in the past, but doesnt always. Like. he's inconsistent in whether or not he's aware that's a way of referring to him, which makes sense bc he seems to have memory lapses where he remembers things fine one minute and forgets them the next, them remembers about them way later. anyway having him say that simultaneously provides a Confirmation of bettys new perspective, but it also… isn’t meant to. i feel like, to the audience, its saying that "simon has changed so much, he's entirely different now. and this is the way things are, and betty should accept this, but she cant" . to betty its telling her she’s right, but that kind of sucks, because she’s not totally sure how much she wants to be right (she dosen’t want this to be simon, but she also dosen’t want simon to be gone)

(i think the idea of betty Swapping her perspective abt simon during elements as a coping strategy to deal w the panic of What If Simon Is Different + the moral dilemma of potentially hurting him fits nicely into the "betty has bpd" interpretation . my girl is splitting)

(also ik many people interpret simon and ice king as Literally being entirely different people but tbh i think that is way less interesting and doesn't make a lot of sense with the canon. but also ik this is partially because what people consider to be "different people" is subjective.  like it depends somewhat on ur perception of identity and stuff. also having different interpretations is valid and fair and all that - and adventure time is often very loose in its text and there’s lots of ways to interpret it. but whatever man im just saying my feelings and That is and Always Will Be the Same guy to me and i think that perspective is waay more interesting to explore than simon getting possessed by an alternate personality or whatever. so im just going under that interpretation….. i think some ppl would perceive the "im ice king" line as being a conformation of them as separate people but to me it's a more abstract representation of the idea that a Drastic Change has taken place that Cannot be reversed!!.... which. Ok eventually it is but tbh i doubt they even knew how they'd end the show by this point and i still think in the context of elements it still works very well as a way driving home both how betty is Not Handling the Situation Well while also making you empathize with her bc u also know how hard that must have been for her to hear)

i think betty is very person-oriented in a unique way!!she's codependent while also being low empathy, introverted, and in many ways socially inept,  which is an interesting combo! i really get the vibe that she has always struggled socially and had trouble fitting in, so attaches really heavily to people who she does feel a connection to, and works really, really hard to maintain the relationships she has. i like to think she’s scared of rejection…

i think simon is much more empathetic, emotion-driven, and in tune with others than betty, but i also think he can be Very bad at actually understanding other people on many levels - like with his obliviousness to betty being interested in him romantically until she spelled it out for him, or to the impact of bettys earlier sacrifices. simon also, with the mission to get the crown in f&c, despite his empathetic nature and love for his friends, does not seem to consider that putting the crown on would upset his friends. This shows a "focusing on one thing and missing something else" scenario, and perhaps more of a "thinking abt the big picture" (saving f&c's world) over the details (friends would be sad) thing. so that's interesting. (although i think part of this example in particular stems from his self hatred preventing him from really thinking that his friends would be upset if he did that. but in a sense it is focusing on big picture over details). So theres some nuance there i think

BUT Anyway, i think this issue probably is mainly with him struggling to read people, or fully understand others perspectives, despite caring deeply about people and feeling Upset when he can tell other people are Upset. he cares and he feels very emotionally connected to people, especially people he cares about…. he just isn't that great at picking up on things sometimes. (also. Worth noting, i think its def shown that while simon may be very caring towards his friends and is a generally nice and approachable, well meaning person who wants whats best for other people. He still is very capable of Hating People and Doing Bad Things On Purpose. Don’t want to ignore that. also hes very desensitized to bad things happening in many respects lmao. So its not like hes just always super nice and caring and amazing. He still murdered choose goose to death and That is via the power of choose goose being annoying and Simon Loving Betty)

Betty also struggles to understand other people but instead of being downright oblivious to certain things or being unsure and nervous she finds relating to people and understanding their actions and emotions to be actively difficult and makes an active effort to understand people in a bit of a scientist-looking-at-a-subject way. Which can be helpful sometimes and less helpful other times. like. it's good that she has a way to navigate social interactions . but also that way of addressing things isn't always conductive to a healthy relationship, especially when she doesn't really let simon in on the fact that she's making these sort of analyses where she's like "what will maximize Simon Being Happy and how do i accomplish this" sometimes to her own detriment.  simon is just like "wow betty is so confident and good at knowing what she wants" meanwhile betty is like "i will make the best choice For Simon" betty i think is better than simon at reading people but not good at Empathizing With Others Emotions or really Understanding or relating to the emotions behind their actions .

she also is shown to, despite caring So much about simon, not be very considerate or caring towards others (not the same as being low empathy & etc dw im not equating them. Its just on the topic of How She Views Others!!!). To be fair, we don’t see nearly enough of her interacting with people besides simon, but i like to think that she just sorta struggles to really care about and have compassion for Random People but deeply cares about those she is Really close too (but as far as we know, thats just simon)

OVERALLi think they see the world very similarly in some ways and very differently in others and it's an interesting balance. also they are both Autistic. In cconclusion !!

betty

likes to break things down into concrete concepts because she struggles to comprehend more subjective and nuanced experiences, especially in social situations + Feels more comfortable approaching things from a “scientific” perspective because it is familiar and easy for her to navigate; threatened by uncertainty and comforted by things that are more straightforward and well-defined

doesn't dwell on things a ton (esp not as much as simon) because she's very goal-oriented and focused on the Now. she wants to get to the next step. that often then means ignoring Her Own Feelings Or Needs if she deems Other Things to be more relevant or important than them (not good for your mental health) + this also means she’s better at making quick decisions! she cares about details and prefers to have All The Relevant Info but is willing and able to cut things down to a “wider-picture” that helps her make whatever choices will help her achieve her goal - that wider picture just may not always be the Full Actual wider picture.

struggles to put herself in other people's shoes - finds it easier to view herself as an outside party with the goal of achieving the ideal outcome in a social situation. In general has low empathy and struggles to understand/relate to others feelings, which impacts her perspective on things and how she handles/views situations.

(not really mentioned earlier but idk where else to put it:) i also think she has that Autism Trait where you focus in on a specific goal you want to achieve and struggle to focus on anything else until it's accomplished (and that that sort of thinking pattern happened with curing simons curse). where you put off doing anything, even things you could do, until something that you Need to happen (according to your brain, not the real world) happens.  Betty put off being person until simon was saved. she put Everything on hold until she accomplished her mission. and this is in a way a form of not seeing the bigger picture, because its overly focusing on a specific thing at the expense of others

(bettys better at balancing seeing the details & the big picture in a sense, but more like. she picks a medium sized chunk of what is going on and focuses on that and acknowledges details when able to but is willing and able to make split second decisions based on little info and is confident in doing so. but whereas i think simon might have more of a "sees the whole big picture but then gets caught up on the details" thing going on, i think betty just straight up focuses on One Portion of something, of varying sizes, which could or could not he considered a "detail", but then almost completely ignores everything else, viewing things as individual challenges or events that need to be addressed before anything else can be)

simon 

is someone who really likes to think things through, and can easily get hung up on details and can easily get overwhelmed by those details and sent into a state of anxiety-fueled-spiraling or decision making paralysis

this is worse probably for Current simon because he’s also Trying To DIstance Himself from his identity as ice king, and as ice king he had no impulse control and thought things through very little. so simon likely puts even more pressure on himself to think things through! unfortunately hes also Going Through A Lot Emotionally and sometimes that’s too much and he Dosen’t think things through and just acts on how he’s feeling. And that makes him feel Worse about himself and just Everything in general

he is more confident with his decision making skills if he feels more prepared/knowledgeable on the subject at hand or is taking on a caretaker role (like with marcy, or f&c). but currently he dosen’t have a lot of that going on so that kinda sucks for his self confidence. 

simon is better at empathizing with people than betty & at creating connections with others & is more caring towards people he dosen’t know that well - and so may consider Other People more in his perspectives on things. But on the other hand hes not always the best at reading people or understanding their perspectives, even if he feels emotional connections and cares about people, so he can easily overlook other people’s struggles or perspectives within an issue - even if he cares deeply about their wellbeing (very relevant to his relationship with betty)

he’s generally more emotion driven than betty, and dwells on & ruminates about his feelings, sometimes to the point of obscuring his understanding of a situation or his ability to engage with it. On The Other Hand this means he at least acknowledges how he’s feeling meanwhile betty is like “im classifying that as irrelevant information until further notice” lmao. 

he’s better at understanding nuance & subjectivity than betty but this contributes to his habit of getting-overwhelmed by everything & Overthinking

(simon focuses on details over the big picture overall. he easily gets caught up in details and panics. he traps himself in cycles of worrying about details that can paralyze him when making decisions, and so prefers to not have to make choices. BUT simons "paralyzed with fear of making decisions" state can often be overturned by the power of Having Strong Emotions and his decisions may be Less Good because of the power of not being great and understanding other people. he's very emotion-driven and currently suffering from a billion mental health issues so sometimes all that gets in the way of his natural over-thinking. hes got a better understanding of nuance than betty & is better at Empathizing with others and more considerate but not all too great at reading them or recognizing others Feelings or Behaviors)

I THINK I REPEATED A LOT IN THIS. AGAIN, KIND OF JUST RAMBLING. HOPEFULLY IT WAS SOMEWHAT COHERENT

[cramberry24]

Highlights of my experiences with COD WW2!

I did this with cold war a few weeks ago so now its my favs turn :) its all going the under the cut just in case bc it is VERY spoiler heavy and VERY VERY long, i like to ramble sue me

did not need to be persuaded to play it, my bro got it for christmas or whatever and i was like ohoho i see a game i will enjoy >:) this was like 2017 or whatever year it came out

when stiles was introduced i was like NICE a nerd character bc i always love those

going off of that, for some reason i was constantly stressed about stiles? idk why i thought something was going to happen to him the entire game but i was stressing

besides noting stiles, i think at first i was like "oh i dont immediately have a favorite i barely even know these guys" and then like 5 seconds later i was like "ya know what this zuss guy vibes i like him"

which was rly funny at the time bc then i was into a lot of ww2 stuff and had a lot of favs who were medics, and so at first i was like "sick my fav in this one is just like, a normal soldier" and then five seconds later he became the "got a medkit for ya" first aid guy and i was like "u gotta be kidding me"

and then five seconds after that i fully believed he died, like i screamed. thought i cursed him to death by choosing him as my favorite. not even joking my bro was with me i went "i like this one" and then he immediately got stabbed and my bro was sitting there like, u have the worst timing

i was neutral about pierson until the "u got guts private, i just dont wanna see em" line and then i was like OHO hes NOT just a complete asshole he has LAYERS and he started festering in my brain right with zuss

zuss was an immediate fav pierson festered like a fungus and now here we are

i laughed so hard at the fairy fucking godmother comment i had to pause the game and take a timeout, everytime i replay it i go "hes gonna say the thing" and then i cheer

im horrible at driving? everytime zuss was like "give me the wheel" halfway thru any driving sections i wept tears of joy

i thought the train wreck was the coolest thing ever i loved the crash, was giggling and everything

i hate stealth and lying missions so paris was incredibly stressful for me, i loved playing as rousseau though

at some point halfway thru i started talking about it with a friend from school and i would facetime him when i was playing and chat with him, this will be relevant later

i dont remember if i cried when turner died but if i didnt, i did get very upset and choked up but then i was like "at least it cant get any worse" and tried to let that make me feel better HAHAHA

rly enjoyed the ardennes mission HOWEVER this is when i was fting with my friend and his bitch ass couldnt remember the order of events and asked if i had reached the "train scene" yet. thinking of the train crash, i said "yeah it was sick as hell i loved it" and he went "really?" and im like "? yeah?" and hes like "but werent u sad about zussman? isnt he ur favorite?" and i go "wtf r u talking about nothing happened to zuss in the train scene?" and he goes "he got captured by the germans?????" bc he FORGOT about the train crash and was only thinking of the train yard captive scene

so that got spoiled for me literally right before i did Ambush, i never forgave him for that. if i could ever play any game for the first time with no memory of it, i would choose this one just bc he spoiled that for me and i never got to experience the shock of it in real time. i fear it would destroy me.

anyway so when it happened i knew there was nothing i could do in advance so i was just like super pissed off and then they made me DRIVE AGAIN so i was even more pissed off

fell to my knees and wept and cheered when they finally addressed kasserine pass, the whole game i was waiting for pierson to talk about it >:)

i get way too into games and was like shaking with stress in the epilogue bc i was so worried about messing up even though i could literally just replay it if i failed

i have one last fun fact but im keeping that card tucked away until we get further into "I am King" because it's like, kind of a spoiler, which sucks bc its my most favorite fun fact but i decided to include it in the fic so now i suffer the consequences of my own actions

OH MY GOD a few last little tidbits i nearly forgot that are more actor focused! went and saw Love, Simon with my friends like the next year after i played cod ww2 and lost my shit when josh duhamel popped up on the big screen

in the same vein ive been on a big romcom kick for the past like two years and stumbling on ones with josh duhamel has been like, really funny - every single one is just like, pierson if he wasnt traumatized and miserable

my SHOCK when i was binging criminal minds and jonathon tucker was an unsub. genuinely did not know how to react. also when i watched the virgin suicides and i yelled out loud "BABY ZUSS". anyway NOW im done i believe

[magnoliamyrrh]

tw: csa, abuse etc. feel free not to answer this, as i know its private!! i also have a very abusive family, i was sexually assaulted by my brother in law when i was 15/16 and he is still in the family. my stupid sister decided to go ahead and have another baby with him even after she knew lol so like. i just bid my time until i can tell everyone to fuck off. i dont have direct contact w him, but i have to deal w his stupid children when i visit my parents and my stupid ass sister. obviously my situation is way less dire than yours, but it already kills me inside. ik you mentioned in the past you were trafficked by a family member and was sexually abused by family too, so what im asking is if you still have contact w the person who did it? i got way better after i was able to put distance, but the fact that i know he is still around makes me sick. i wish i could just put a bullet on his head. i wish i could kill him. i wish i could run him over and set out a hit on him. i wish i could kill my fucking sister too, for being a useless piece of shit.

this is just some random info i hope you find funny in a dark sad way like i do. i cant be around my sister for long that it raises my blood pressure to the point i get nose bleeds that wont stop. my bp goes like 23 or 20/18 or something like that. crazy high. literally puts me under so much stress i am at risk of a fucking heart attack from being around her cunt ass.

hope u can run away from them and make your own life at some point. wishing you the best xoxo

hey anon!! tks again for sending the message and im truly sorry to hear abt what happened to you & the betrayal of your sister as well. its always horrible when women even moreso family members who should care about you choose to protect predatory and shit men over u 😵‍💫 happens way too often and you have every right to be angry af at her bc its disgusting and selfish enabling behavior. hope karma is gonna hit them soon and youll get to witness it all lol ,,,, and girl 😭 u gotta be Careful i dont want u to die of a heart attack like this it aint worth it 🤣😭😭 but i getchu!! the sorta stress from this shit can take a Hugeee toll on ur body tbh i think thats why i feel so exhausted too all the time lately its the stress and physical toll of flashbacks and shit

to answer ur question it was my bio dad and for the most part i aint got contact w him no more. we're in two different countries now which helps for sure but when i go back to my birth country its almost always an issue when it comes to seeing him. he used to show up uninvited or my family would force him around and shit. but uh then for some years tho not too many that stopped happening but at the end of last year i had to see him because i wanted to see my grand geandmother who was sick and potentially dying and he was there. i chose to put up with it because i would have regretted not seeing her more. the whole thing was,,,, A Lot and exhausting and triggering and since then ive kinda been in the trauma trenches again 🤷‍♀️ being around him for that long for the first time in years definetely set sometimes off. but. yea. its hard. its hard to avoid because of that and i probably wont feel truly free from it until the day when he fucking croaks ://// which i keep waiting for. and rn i live w my mom and bio dad which isnt fantastic either bc we have a rough history too tho nothing to the same degree, its just another thing that stresses me out tho and that i wanna get away from

tks for the message girl again i appreciate uuu <3 and it does make me feel better to know someone also feels similar even tho i wish u had never been through this. take care of urself ok!!! one day were both gonna get out and we wont have to b around ppl who traumatized us anymore and well b able to breathe!!!!

[misfithive]

Omg yessss someone who finally understands what it feels like 😭😭

I’m so tired of people always saying “this isn’t hs, this is a DrAmA series, what do you expect?” in that condescending tone that is used to make you look stupid, acting like we didn’t watch s1 and even with THAT finale, it made us stay and continue it. Bc s1 was balanced. Yes, very bad things happened but there were also calm and nice moments. And throughout the seasons the angst got more and more and the fluff got less and less. Excuse me if I’d like to see them happy for once especially since this is the very last season and what we got is that Simon is very sad, Wilhelm is losing his damn mind over and over again and two cute moments out of a thousand intense/angsty. It’s exhausting and it doesn’t make me excited to watch it. I don’t even rewatch s2 fully bc it’s too much, I’m scared I won’t be able to enjoy this one either…

Tbh idk how people can be so happy about seeing them once again go through hell, but maybe that’s me.

You know what months ago i probably would have tried to make u feel better and say that it’s probably gonna be nice moments in there as thats what i was telling myself for the past year that they are boyfriends now so they wont be fighting as bad but i did not know that there was a fate worse than fighting lmfao like i cannot get over the rock thru his window thats so traumatic. And “love isnt supposed to be this hard” LISA WHAT THE FUCK WHY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need to see them happy and smiling and joking together bc if we dont see it we will never see it i feel like thats what the added pressure is. And the logical side of my brain is like well they will be joking around together at the palace from that teaser but then i’m like okay but then august ruins it and Wille is upset again at the meeting so idk im also finding it a bit exhausting. Its legit whiplash i was so happy to see them happy in the stills then that trailer came out of nowhere crushing my soul i think i just wasnt expecting it to be that intense i thought that one moment in the uniforms would be like the height of it.

I’m mostly scared bcs im serious that trailer really fucked me up and i want to be able to enjoy the season im scared its going to be too intense or trigger me in some way when all i wanted was to see them happy for more than 5 minutes. i dont want somber yes we are so in love but our lives are miserable. I genuinely need to see them LAUGHING AND HAPPY BCS THEY ARE 16 and this is so legitimately unfair 😭😭😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

[yayspring]

ok im gonna just talk about it anyway :D

he announced earlier that next year he's gonna push me more, and i was like ? wat? why? and he was like i think we're both undersocialised atm and i was quite annoyed by this and also a bit hurt bc i feel like that's more untrue in the past 6 months thn it's been sice the pandemic (and maybe before - bc most of our friends now are people from discord we ended up becoming irl friends with)

maybe *you* feel undersocialised ben but *i* actually find basically all social activities something to endure rather than enjoy

also don't forget that ana is my soulmate and I feel very happy just hanging out with them and Ben

i feel like he has still this shark feeling of gotta keep moving or ill die :) like he is doing much better than he was from sept-nov but yeah i think he doesnt need to make that an Us problem lol like i dont share that feeling at all lol like if you want to do more things than i do you can do some stuff separately, and some stuff with me! as is normal!

i did feel quite frustratedand annoyed with the way he brought it up , which he did apologise for later bc he agreed we're doing the right things etc and he didnt really mean he wants to push me MORE just that he doesnt want to BACKSLIDE. which is fine i guess but it was a bit annoying to hear anyway bc i am not planningon going intoi a big isolationist hole

like the implication that next year some REAL change is gonna happen and totally ignoring the fact that we got married a few months ago (objectively the biggest social event either of us have ever done), that we hung out with Boops and yuka at an art installation, that we've had clare over a bunch of times, that we've had boops over, that he's done a few irl dnd sessions w/ lucas clare boops, that we've been ice skating a few times, that we've done escape rooms together, that we've done some family trips, we did that ceramics class, we've done a LOT of pokemon walks - all of this in teh past 2 or 3 months apart from the wedding - im just like god damn how much stuff do i have to do to satisfy you lol like i simply dont find the same kind of drive to Do Things that he has and I have still done all this shit REGARDLESS

i was also annoyed i think by the implication that he's the one who needs to push me when actually half of the above shit was my idea!!! the ice skating was me! the wedding was my idea! the escape rooms were my idea! i was the one who restarted teh pokemon go! i was the one who created the server in the first place, where he found his friends!!!! these are all my friends i let him share!!! i was the one who arranged the halloween party w/ boops and clare literally bc he was so sad i wanted to do something nice for him

i do read him charitably - as i legit think is important to do in all relationships with someone you like and respect on a very basic level lol - and i dont think he meant to suggest that im massively inadequate lmfao (i mean - i know he didnt) and he apologised for coming in too hard about stuff, and i know he's traumatised by covid (who isnt?) and is terrified of going back into that tiny world where it was just us and we didnt see anyone else for 2y. but that's not on the cards anyway so i felt a bit wrongfooted by the whole talk

also i was so cross i went mute and under my blankets until he sort of to put it bluntly fucked me back into communication lmfao !! me hissing "im cross with you" while he was actively fucking me </3 looool (this is 100%% fine by the way, just for the record, i was way less annopyed by the sex than the conversation, the sex cheered me up even and it was the right move)

anyway whatever. i think we're actually on the same page in terms of not wanting a particularly quiet 2024 (we're planning on going to Iceland in the winter and also there will be a chess meetup abroad somewhere) so we move. i was just annoyed by how he framed it but he did apologise anyway and i know he didnt really mean anything!! but it was annoying lol like omg I try sooo hard. so fucking hard!!!

ETA: fucking. also. he wasn't even making ANY comment on this stuff and he's fully been my biggest cheerleader lol but I've also been so busy work-wise (my "chess career" is reaching new heights after all) and taking care of him these past few months and doing my doll job as well I think I just want someone to be like omg cham you are actually soooo impressive I'm soooo obsessed with you !!! don't worry you don't need to find anything else inside you you are doing sooooo well!!! (Ben is actually usually like this but I want him to say it now as well) like I've been working on job stuff AS WELL AS doing loads more shit with him lately and I feel like I should get extra credit for that

all this to say that this would be a good time to send me a message with how great you think i am. lol

[heartbeatlicense]

noo, bc i fucking feel yall. bc a fic i read thr other day?!? "gn!reader" the next line is "reader could arguable be considered afab" and then out of no where the fic uses female anatomy terms??? the reader is not "arguably" afab. it is afab, and a warning tag like "afab!reader, but no pronouns used" would have been a better explanation for your fic.

i fucking DESPISE when people do that and refuse to put the actual gender of the reader in the actual post or the tags. its really not that hard. as someone who writes both female and male readers, i know how to tell my viewers which one they are so they csn steer clear of something they dont like. its just female readers r considered "the standard" or "the default" with both female and male characters. (finding fem char x male reader is the hardest thing on earth omg but anyways)

and untagged drabbles are the WORST at this. there's no gendered tag and no warning at the top of the post so i assume the reader is gender neutral only to ve bombarded with fem terms. even if a creator doesnt want to put the reader's gender in the fic warnings, but it in the tags. it really isnt that hardddd. all tumblr writers need to have a seminar about tagging fics correctly and stating what is actually in your fic. or we all need to learn a03 etiquette or smth. bc being a male reader sucks😭

(srry sbout this rant. i just needed to say it)

nsfw mentions for anyone else reading!

dude yesterday i saw a fic that was legit tagged “gn reader, reader is called mama.” like how is that a coherent statement. it’s almost comical to me. one of infinite examples of what it’s like to look for fics on tumblr. like im BEGGING and PLEADING to people to think about what the neutral part of gn means.

i hate also when writers do “gn!reader that could be seen as female” when 90% of the fic makes it so so obvious like shut up that’s totally fem reader.

when people use afab as some cool fancy ass synonym for woman also irks the shit out of me but that’s a whole other conversation.

i fucking wish putting “character x female reader” or whatever gender in the actual tags itself was a much more common practice so filtering would actually do something. unfortunately the only people who actually do it consistently are of course the ones who write male reader fics.

like people shouldn’t be allowed to leave their fics untagged if it isn’t 100% gender neutral. like give me some indication god please. it’s even worse when i’m going through the blue lock tag so most of it is just untagged fem smut drabbles so it’s like a double smack in the face for me. like give me a heads up at the very least.

honestly i should just start fining people whenever they screw up with their tags. like straight up start demanding money for emotional damage charges.

(speaking of fem char x male reader, once i transition into more multifandom, i’m for sure gonna start doing those as well. the lack of them just makes me so so sad)

also don’t worry about ranting bc im so glad i have yet another chance to complain about this for the second time today. being mad about this stuff is like the whole reason why i even made this blog

[quodekash]

its 1pm and im finally well-rested enough to watch last nights episode of abaab, wish me luck (im rly excited for more threezo pls gimme more threezo) 

im eating a pomegranate while watching so my commentary may be slightly limited 

NOOO CHER WHY ARE YOU SAD ITS GONNA MAKE ME SAD 

i just accidentally sprayed pomegranate juice everywhere 

this is my first time eating a pomegranate and im sitting on my bed 

i have a towel on top of me just in case and im glad i have it 

otherwise my funky hufflepuff blanket would look like a crime scene rn 

anyway back to the show 

awh :[ 

comforting kiss 

im gonna cry 

“its not a company owner and an intern. its just you and me.” GHEIBRHGERH THATS SO PERFECT and also makes me feel better cos i was still feeling a little weird about the power imbalance/age gap so yay 

THEY HUG

NO, BC YOU WONT BREAK UP 

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST FLUFFIEST SHOW, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT 

JACK, YOU AND YOUR PERFECT HAIR, HELLO 

THREEZO 

LOOK AT ZO’S LITTLE HEART JUMPER

I WANT IT 

THE ARM THE HAND ON THE ARM LOOK AT THEM AAAAAAATYFYTUUVJ (ft jacks perfect hair on the left) 

OMG

THATS AMAZING 

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU JACK 

GJERKDGBKRHEBGKJREBJGRE 

ah shoot 

wait hang on 

what the hell 

ive been wondering whats in that folder since day one

ohhhh okay its a groupchat 

props to that one person for saying its none of your business 

yOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE?? 

i nearly dropped my pomegranate 

why was i surprised to learn he has a mother 

a lot of people have mothers 

thats exactly what she said, isnt it? 

bc theyre actually in a drama 

its gonna cut to a scene of her saying exactly that 

damn i was wrong 

thERE’S A HUG QUOTA??? 

damn then i guess im going to jail 

my hands are covered in pomegranate juice this feels like a murder 

hey, does pomegranate juice wash off? 

MY BOY AND HIS EYEBROWS 

HAH, SUCKS TO BE YOU (checks notes) oregano? 

i do love that and that’s very sweet, but bro needs his coffee 

already at two kisses and were not even halfway through the episode. if only tinngun could live up to their standard. 

(this is mostly a joke, im just really salty because tinngun COULD have kissed SIXTY-SEVEN FREAKING TIMES and they DIDNT and no i will not shut up about this i spent way too long combing through the show counting every single time they didnt kiss to not mention it every single time any characters kiss. shameless self promo here)

no wait hang on what the hell 

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN??? 

“drunk or not, i love you” i see now why that line was significant 

and also the slight breakup foreshadowing earlier 

i understand it now 

they wont break up tho bc (i pull out a sword) i will not allow it 

(just kidding) 

(i dont have a sword) 

(if i did have one tho i would absolutely take it out of its sheath right at that moment) 

FRIENDSHIP COMFORT TIME 

YAY FRIENDSHIP 

they make me happy 

HIS PERFECT HAIR 

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH GFYTDFYTFCUTVJHV

oh yay we get some tub time!! i cant wait to learn more about him so that i can pick him apart and do a character autopsy on him to find out how he works! 

is he speaking from experience? tub, what do you have going on in life? what have you gone through? tell me all about it :] 📝📝

is it texas chicken or is it kfc? 

MY BOYS 

IM GONNA CRY THEYRE SO FREAKING CUTE 

ilysm three 

RIGHT????? he gets it 

THREEZOOOOOO

i love them so much

NOOOOOO

CHE??? 

something good better happen 

(eret son of eret voice) is tha’ who i fink i’ is? 

it might not be 

if anyone knows who plays this man, pls lemme know 

NOOOOOOO NOT THE GAMEBOY 

OH IT GOT WORSE 

sir do you have the technical skills for this 

i know hes the head of a game developing company thing but the actual physical insides of a gameboy are an entirely different thing, right? 

i was waiting for the thoop situation to come up again 

the MOOD that this is-

i have finished my pomegranate and can confirm that the juice does in fact come off of human skin, which is nice bc i looked like id murdered someone 

👀

and how are you gonna do that, gun? 

idk man, i reckon id appreciate you as my big bro 

yayyy that was really good, a little bitter at times but really sweet overall. 7/10, would try again 

oh and the episode was also really good 

huge lack of threezo tho 

theyd better make up for it next week 

still good tho 

bye bye everyone! have a good day!! 

[carmenized-onions]

Yap sheet live and in color pt 2!! Um ily this is so fun im actually having such a good week and the fact that U updated also just makes it even better 🫶🫶🫶 also i think to maybe see if it doesn't make the ask so super long on like feeds imma try this with no spaces between maybe idk

1.) This is literally from the tags i haven't even started reading, but hurt,,, some comfort??? UGH okay off i go

2.) WAIT THE OTHER SHOE THING IS SO FUCKING BRILLIANT ONION WTF

3.) Lowk forgot i was doing this for a sec bc im waiting for water to boil cause im making dinner rn BUT OH BOY DID THIS BRING IT BACK FOR ME

CARMY CALLING RICHIE A DEAD BEAT MAN ILL BEAT UP THAT LITTLE RAT BOY i love him so much it hurts but ill kick his ass fr like just bc ur hurting doesnt mean u make everyone else hurt (even tho thats how he was raised :< anyways thats 1 L for carm major L

4.) YEAHH RICH FUCKING SPEAK ON IT SPEAK ON ITTTT oh uh oh not tony catching strays rip us. Double uh oh coming from carmy. Also carmy thats another L don't do richie like that :<

5.) I fucking love you :< AND THEN FOR HIM TO SAY RICHIE IS NOTHING LIKE FUCK RIGHT AWF L MAJOR L

6.) Yk what this chapter is going to be endless Ls for carm i can already tell but :< the whole oh are you gonna fix him too?? Like I can just feel and see like the hurt radiating off of him thru the screen like he's clearly so affected by all the stuff he saw but :< thats still not an excuse CARMEN

7.)The fact that Tony feels like she needs to prove herself, that she can take it, makes me very :<

8.) Also like I'm intrigued bc it almost feels like more than Tony just not charging them for the services out of like the goodness of her own heart or guilt over not being there for mikey like i originally thought like theres something else going on there i am ✨️confused✨️

9.) Noooo not Tony thinking she did something wrong :<<<

10.) i fear im going to jump off a bridge at this rate bc WAAAAAAA carmy is obviously so upset and he CLEARLY doesnt know how to handle that he IS SO ME

11.) MAJOR L MAJOR L

carmy im coming for you count your days that was so uncalled for Carmen what the FUCK onion im coming for u bc I just know I would be sobbing on the floor if carmen said that to me like especially bc Tony very obviously blames herself already :<

12.) Okay my noodles are done so BUT im mildly confused is all this carmy pov happening right after he yelled actually i just glanced back and yes it is and i will say i am glad carmy is at least A LITTLE self aware and that he's completely off the rails anyway

13.) :< i want my comfort neow right neow onion this is making me so sad (im on like point 7) also verbal confirmation that tony is crying like this isnt even a carmy specific L this is just an L

14.) Carmy just major self loathing makes me sad like yes he did this to himself but also like this is just the only way hes ever been shown how to express himself and ugh this better end with him going to therapy (i know it wont)

15.) Um so i read all of tonys thing just now i think uh anyway im gonna kms now tony thinks he hates her :< i really want my comfort now

16.) I know carmy doesnt deserve comfort but also i think he does a little is that too much to ask for

17.) Also the whole heart to heart with Richie makes me so :< i dont have a lot of coherent notes to write except for :< like im very :< right now

18.) Also i LOVE that tony is going to go to the fucking eras tour with richie and eva i LOVE that anyway um ACK ACK ACK

19.) ALSO ALSO ALSO like UGHHHH richie telling tony its not her fault mikey died and them commiserating is so fucking AGH

20.) STOP THE BANTER wait pause

21.) firstly um tony STILL looking out for carmy warms my heart thats fucking cold bc u KILLED ME anyway

22.) Right. UGHHHHH the banter has me just a touch :> bc like syd and tony dogging on richie is so :>. But overall im still :<.

23.) Stop not mikey thinking that tony and carmy would be a good match :< also like i feel like that *kinda* confirms that tony and mikey didnt have a thing bc why tf would he say that if they ever did but anyway

ONION TONY AND CARMY BETTER FUCKING TALK IN THE NEXT ONE IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS

As always i adore you and your writing even if i almost sobbed reading this one there were actual tears in my eyes and i never ever ever cry reading stuff or consuming media so fuck you so hard for that one

🫶🫶🫶 till next time pookie

LETS. GET. INTO ITTT.. Yap Sheet from Just Dropped, I'm excited to hear your thoughts on Something to Do!! Unless you already did-- And I'm just real fuckin slow to churn through my inbox.

THE NO SPACES SEEMED TO HAVE WORKED??? I hope that was easy for you, on your end-- If it's not, simply destroy people's pages it's fine we ball.

I did the.... some comfort because I was like... It does definitely hurt-- Comfort wise, it's definitely there, but you just don't really get it from the person you want it from, yknow?

AND THANK YOU-- I was very happy, when I realized the silly other shoe bit I could do. fun hat trick on my part.

DEAD BEAT BROOOO-- I can't remember if I added that or if it was in the original dialogue. I think I added it? I remember needing a transition line, to get into it-- It was like the Carmen equivalent of Richie's okay donna-- WOOF

I'll just do one point, for the Richie side of the fight, as I the writer don't have much to say about it but yeah it was-- Shit was brutal. It was very interesting to look at the freezer fight again with the perspective of Tony in mind and going,,,, huh,,,, they could both be talking to her, in this. The You're Nothing really also-- I wonder if Carmen will ever actually say that to someone, in canon. I don't think he could. But also they might just be saving it for the biggest explosion.

Writing Carmen's dialogue for this was very tough and interesting, for me-- Because like-- With the information he had, I kinda got it. Like yes 100% self-destructive tendencies but also I think I could sympathize with like, essentially him thinking he was basically some sort of manic pixie to be fixed by Tony. He was wrong, but like-- I get the concern. He shoulda voiced it better but I get him.

YEAAHHHH, YEAAHHHH Tony before this chapter for the most part I think only displayed the good/quirky parts about being the anxious helpful hero type, and this chapter and onward I think really got into the genuinely self-destructive behaviours of her thinking she needs to be able to take shit.

There was in fact, something going on there. With the invoice. LMAO. Tony's nice but she understands the power of a dollar

The repeated 'did i do something wrong' across multiple chapters-- Fuckin, in anything 'did i do something wrong' will always fucking get my ass. Like it's just so. It's. I'm, I'm fuckin sweatin just thinking about it. It always hurts.

CARMEN MAJOR L MOMENT ABSOLUTE L.

It's funny that while writing that line, I had always planned for that line to be like, the spinebreaker but I was worried, when I had actually put it to paper, that readers were somehow not gonna think it was that bad. I'm glad everyone thought it was horrifically bad. He fucked up there.

I won't comment much on Carmen's POV because there's some surprises I have in stock, for you, with that-- But I do agree. I think Carmen is typically slow to realize he fucked it-- But when it's something like that and everyone has a volatile reaction-- He's gonna know immediately that it's over.

Here's the thing, I can't show you any lines from the next chapter, because literally every single line is a spoiler for what the chapter is. but I've realized actually I can show you an old draft-- This was from the original list of the seven things.

I took this out, inevitably, but I did really like the idea of like... Realizing that this moment isn't just a now fuck up, it's a forever fuck up.

14. both of those fuckers went right on the self-loathing train. What could we expect from them? Choo choo, mf.

16. I hate to tell you this. He's gonna have a terrible time. I'm not letting that motherfucker catch a break. You'll see what I mean, in time.

17. WHY'S THE HEART TO HEART MAKE YOU FROWN--- I mean I get it but like BITTERSWEET RIGHT? RIGHT? ANYONE?? IS THIS THING ON?? Do you think the writers knew when they wrote season 2 and Richie getting Swift tickets they knew those things were gonna be like 3000 dollars a pop. I feel like they didn't. I like to go back and read this bit, from time to time. I just really like Richie and Chip. Am I a Rich/Chip believer? Honestly. A little bit I think. I have a wandering eye. I think.

21. Tony will always look out for Carm. It's so lame. get UP girl be PETTY-- HAUNT HIS ASS!!! DO A HAUNT!!!!

23. I love that you say kinda. I love that know one trusts me with a slight confirmation. I have poisoned the water mistrust and I love that.

I'M HONOURED TO GET YA MISTY-- MEANS A LOT, I hope you enjoy/enjoyed the next one. Love you fuck you sorry not sorry at all my bad your fault hugs and kisses THANK YOU BYYYYEE