#but don’t wish me no fucking happy 4th of July

[11oh1]

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part ten

authors note: none

song inspo: “with me” by destiny’s child

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, suggestive themes, angst

words: 5.8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

You’ve never been a person who was big on holidays. 

Never saw the massive appeal. Easter was annoying cause everyone and they mama showed up to church just to show off their kids silk press and frilly dresses. Halloween was too dark. Valentine’s Day was always a toss up, depending on where you and Amir were at the moment. And 4th of July….fuck America. 

But Christmas…..in recent years, it’s starting to become a holiday you really enjoy. You owe a lot of that to Callie and her pure joy and excitement at the "most wonderful time of the year," for gifts, yes, but she loved celebrating “baby Jesus” birthday just as much.

And you couldn't deny that your town was most beautiful this time of year. Stunningly decorated, there wasn’t a non-resident building in town that wasn’t dressed down in HGTV worthy Christmas decor. Walking through town really felt like walking on the set of a Hallmark Christmas movie. 

And the activities were endless, especially for kids. 

Hence your current whereabouts, sitting on a bench with your mom as Callie partakes with a group of other kids in a workshop with some of ‘Santa’s elves’. Your eyes land on her more often than not, knowing you live in a safe area but never wanting to take any chances. You also notice how talkative she is at the table she’s seated at with another little girl. You smile. Seeing her interact with other kids always makes you happy. Once she gets past her initial shyness, you definitely see sprinkles of your extroverted personality in her. 

Checking your phone from a text from Joe, you can’t avoid the pout when met with empty notifications. 

Your mom, forever perceptive, notices this. “When does he come in?”

“Tomorrow,” you answer, unable to contain the smile on your face. You’re not sure who’s more excited about Joe’s return: you or Callie. Probably her, but you’re not that far behind. 

And not even just for sexual reasons. Yes, that’s definitely up there, but also expected. Because one thing about sex with Joe: it’s addictive. 

Having him like that for the first time in years awakened things in you that you forgot existed. No one could make you come like he could, and he knew it, hence his smug disposition during sex. One thing you were starting to realize was that Joe fucked like Roman, but he made love like Joe, and it was a deadly combination. 

You woke up alone the morning after the date, but you knew that was the case because this man literally flew out for one night just to take you out. And dick you down. 

But Joe being Joe, left you a note, like something out of one of those corny but sweet, romantic indie movies. It was thoughtful, but he’s always been thoughtful. 

That shouldn’t have surprised you. 

Just like you shouldn’t have been surprised to be woken up by Callie jumping on your bed, happy to see you and wanting to catch you up on her fun sleepover with Alexis. Alexis, who made sure that the first thing that she checked was the nightstand where that Plan B absolutely was nowhere to be found. 

Used and discarded in your waste bin. That’s where it was. 

The smirk she sent your way, you just knew she was gonna have a million and one questions. And clearly waiting for Callie to not be present to have that conversation was too much waiting, hence your phone buzzing with texts while you watched Wish with Callie.

Alexis: You dirty whore! I wanna know everything.

You: What’s there to tell? You don’t see the box anymore, do you?

Alexis: Bitch, you know what I mean. It was good, wasn’t it?

You: Girl…..good ain’t the word for it. 😩 I’m so tired and sore right now. He wore my ass out. Had me up all night.

You: I stopped counting after 4.

Alexis: 😖 You have no idea how much I love this for you.

Alexis: I’m also gonna take a wild guess that since you took the plan b, ya’ll didn’t use protection? He came in you, didn’t he? 👀

You: Every.single.time.

Alexis: Oh, he down baddddd. 

Alexis: Shit, do I need to get you some pregnancy tests?

You: NO. It was just last night…..I may have to get on BC because that can’t be a regular thing.

Alexis: Well….don’t you want more kids anyway? 

You: We’re not even dating, and you want me to get knocked up by this man?

Alexis: Bitch, you already have one child. Give her a sibling. 

Alexis: And what do you mean you’re not dating? That is your man. Just own it. 

It was a fun exchange, as are most things with Alexis, and it brought up a valid point. Joe was gonna have to either wrap it up or you were going to need to get back on the pill. 

And you knew better than to tell her that this man literally asked you if you were on the pill and said good when you told him you weren’t. You haven’t given yourself time to process that….later date and time. 

But Joe’s definitely been the subject of several dreams that left you waking up feeling aroused. Hence you counting down the days until his return, yes for Callie, but also because you desperately need your insides rearranged in a way only he can fulfill. 

And you also just miss him. 

Plain and simple.  

“I take it things are going well between ya’ll.” Your mom gives you that all-knowing look that all moms possess. You roll your eyes, and she playfully nudges your shoulder. “I’m happy for you, sweetie. You deserve to be happy. You and Callie.”

“We’re just….I don’t know what we’re doing exactly, but….it is going well.” It seems a bit silly to not acknowledge that you and Joe are dating again, but until he confirms as such, you lean on the side of caution. Granted, you know he’s not fucking anyone else, and you damn sure aren’t either. You speak to each other as often as you can, and there’s seldom a conversation that occurs without one or both of you hinting at the mindblowing sex you’ll have once he returns.

Nope….not dating at all.

“Well, he’s divorced now, isn’t he?” You’d eventually caught your mom up on that important update, knowing that she would never really approve if his wife was still in the picture. She wouldn’t outright say anything, but her demeanor would be telling enough. 

“Yes, but—”

“And he’s obviously very interested in being with you. I don’t need to ask if you’re interested in being with him, and Callie would do well in a healthy two-parent household.”

At that, you stop walking, arm in front of your mom. “Mama….you did amazing raising me all on your own. I owe you so much that it’d be impossible for me to ever repay you.” And it’s the truth. Definitely age and becoming a single mother yourself showed you just how much your mom sacrificed to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. Your mom truly is your hero.

She smiles warmly, placing her gloved hand over yours. “I appreciate that, baby. But, if you don’t have to struggle, why should you? Joseph seems keen on being in Callie’s life and yours as well. What’s holding you back?”

You chuckle at her final question. “That’s more or less the same thing Alexis said.” Only gone for a couple days, you're starting to miss her too. She's been a great source of support the past couple weeks.

“I always did like that girl. A bit on the wild side, but I like her.” Oh, if your mom knew the extent of what that wildness looked like. Not just for Alexis but yourself. You’re certain your mom would have a heart attack if she knew you were a regular at the strip club in college. So much so that the owner knew you by name and often propositioned you for a job.

You’d be lying if you tried to say you didn’t consider it from time to time. 

“Maybe it’s how we got together,” you guess aloud, sitting back against the bench. “I think I still have some guilt about doing that to his wife.” 

It’s a take you’ve found yourself thinking about more and more over the past couple weeks. She may be out of the picture now, but she wasn’t when you first started messing with Joe. She was still his wife the first time you let him take you to bed, and that’s left a stain on your conscience you’re not entirely sure how to rid yourself of.

“I understand that entirely.” Hearing the change in your mom’s tone has you wondering if it’s truly wise to have this conversation with her. Is it still a sensitive subject? “But it seems they divorced before you even came back in the picture. Do you know why they finally went their separate ways?”

Shaking your head, you inform, “no, and a part of me wants to ask, but when he told me about it, I could see it was difficult for him. He had this….sadness in his eyes. And I don’t think it was because of the divorce itself but….something else.” 

A part of you wants to ask him again, feels like it’s information you should know. But, another part of you doesn’t want to pry too much. If it’s a sensitive subject, you don’t want to reopen any open wounds. 

“Well, if this continues to progress, it may be a discussion that needs to happen. Even if it just gives you a peace of mind.” You know she’s right. It’s just not something you’re ecstatic about having to do. “And you probably should also start thinking about what changes you may have to make for this to continue to work.”

Confused, you ask, “what do you mean?”

“He can’t keep flying in and out sporadically just to see his child. Or you. That’s not fair to any of ya’ll and not sustainable. You’re gonna have to relocate to wherever he lives.”

That….that is not something you’ve thought about until this very moment. You know Joe bends over backwards to make these visits work, but it hadn't occurred to you how long this dynamic could continue. 

Your mom must see the wheels in your head turning, adding, “and think about Callie, once she finds out that’s her daddy, she’s gonna wanna be around him as much as possible. It could be easier if you’re a bit closer.”

You don’t know how true or untrue your mom’s take is, but it’s also another conversation that will have to happen between you and Joe. He’s always on the road in general. Will moving really do anything to help with his visits? Relocating is something you’ve never ever thought about. This is your home. You grew up here. Callie was growing up here. You always saw her growing up here.

But, that was also a version where Joe wasn’t in her life. Now he is. So, of course, some things would change.

You just didn’t imagine that is what would change.

Even if your mom’s guidance now has you wondering what it would be like to have a house together, the three of you, Callie, with an actual backyard she can run around in. Not just limited to the space of your apartment. 

“I’m gonna go say hi to Gloria.” She taps your leg, gesturing to her friend’s store. “I’ll be right back.”

Nodding, you sit there, focusing on Callie instead of the nuggets of wisdom your mom just dropped on you. 

“Long time no see, stranger.”

And just like that, you’re regretting ever agreeing to leave your place. You should have just done something at the apartment with Callie. Invited your mom over. Baked some cookies and shit. 

Crossing your arms, you refuse to look his way. “Amir, it’s the happiest time of the year. Please leave me alone, and let me stay in my happy place.”

“You’re still upset with me?” He seems genuinely surprised at this, like you cussing him out in front of your daughter’s preschool wasn’t a good indicator of how upset you were. “Gotta let that shit go.”

“I don’t have to do anything but live, be black, and love my child.” Scooting to your edge of the bench, you tell him again. “Now go away.”

“We clearly need to talk this out—”

“No, we don’t need to do anything because there is no we.” You catch Callie’s eyes and remind yourself that you don’t need a part two of the last time. “I told you before. That’s done and over with. In all areas. You’ll never see my name pop up on your phone ever again.”

And that’s a promise.

“You’re so fuckin’ dramatic.” He’s growing annoyed. If only you cared. “Stop playing. What you doing tomorrow?”

“Sitting on my man’s face.”

Your answer seems to take him back. “He still around?” You don’t say anything. “You’re not stupid enough to be fucking him again, are you?”

“Amir, the only reason I was ever fucking you was because he wasn’t around, but he’s here now, and he’s not going anywhere. And without hurting your feelings before Christmas, I can promise you, dick is not something I will ever want or need from anyone else ever again.”

He scoffs, just looking at you with disgust. “Mariah was right. That nigga really does have you acting different.”

At that, your head snaps in his direction. “What did you just say?” Instantly, you see it. The regret in his face in realizing he’s fucked up. “Why were you talking to Mariah?” Your best friend couldn’t take your calls or texts, but she had time to fill your ex in on your private life? “When?”

He looks off, trying to hide the guilty expression you’ve already clocked. “We ran into each other at the store the other day.”

Lie.

Scoffing, you lean back against the bench. And you laugh. All you can do is laugh because never in a million years would you have put these pieces together, but it makes so much sense. 

“Yeah, you can get the fuck away from me. Now.” Seeing him about to open his mouth again, you decide to separate yourself. “Fine. I’ll leave.” 

And you do just that, moving to another available bench where you can still keep a close eye on Callie. It seems they’re nearing the end of the activity. One glance over to your previous seat, you see that Amir is gone. 

Good. 

Pulling out your phone, you send a simple text. 

You: If you were too busy riding Amir’s average dick to message me back, you could have just said so.

There’s barely any time for you to slide your phone back into your purse when it beeps.

Mariah: ??????

It actually takes a lot in you not to call and cuss her out right then and there. You’ve been trying to get in contact with her for weeks and the minute you send her that, she remembers how to reply?

“Mommy!”

You’re grateful for Callie’s distraction. Smile on your face, you see she’s approached you with not only the little girl at her table but a man also wearing a friendly expression.

“This is my new friend! Her name is Taylor!” Taylor appears to be the same or around the same age as Callie, box braids styled into two space buns, and she and Callie share giggles like they’ve been friends for years. In a weird sort of way, she reminds you a lot of Callie. 

“It seems the girls have connected,” the man speaks with a chuckle. He offers his hand. “I’m Darius. Taylor’s dad.”

Your phone goes off and you quickly glance, hoping it’s Joe.

Mariah: Can we talk?

Instantly, you reorient yourself to the conversation at hand. 

“It appears they have,” you agree, offering your name and asking, “are you from around here?”

“Naw. Just visiting some family. Me and my wife.” He looks around. “She should be somewhere around here. Her parents only live about an hour out, so they came to meet us.”

“Oh, cool.” Glancing at the girls, you recognize that plotting look on Callie’s face and wait patiently. Coyly, you share with Darius, “I believe a request is coming.”

“Oh, most definitely.” 

Sure enough, Callie is holding onto your leg, face peering up at you. “Mommy, can we see the fireworks tomorrow?” That’s certainly not what you expected to hear her ask. Callie has never been too big on fireworks. When she was younger, you’d have to lay in bed with her and soothe her to sleep because they made her nervous. Now she wants to go to an actual show? “Taylor is going too, right Taylor?”

Taylor nods happily. “And my mommy and grandma and grandpa.”

It's like the mentioning of additional parties triggers something for her, Callie offering suddenly, “Joe can come too!” 

That gives you a pause. Joe’s never gone out in public with the two of you, outside of the hospital, but that doesn’t necessarily count. It was an emergency, not happy hour.

There’s a bit of anxiety, even though you know your town is the perfect place to do so. You’d put your head on the chopping board that less than five people would actually approach him, asking for autographs and such. They might recognize him, but they’d never approach. 

It’ll also be the first time Callie can refer to him as her father instead of just Joe.

Finally deciding, you answer, “if you want to, baby.” 

You and Darius share a laugh as the girls rejoice together. He pulls out his phone and offers, “why don’t I give you my wife’s number? You two can communicate regarding the meetup and whatnot.”

“Yeah, of course.” Exchanging information, you program Bianca Johnson into your phone, sending her a text after Darius says he’s already messaged her regarding Taylors new best friend. 

It’s in programming the number though that you see an incoming call from Mariah. It’s an immediate decline. 

Mariah: Would you pick up the damn phone, please?

Navigating to her thread, you put her on mute. It’s almost Christmas. You refuse to allow her or anyone else to ruing this for you or Callie. 

________

Personally, you believe that there should be a mandatory set time for Children to wake up on Christmas. Preferably, any time after 10am. 12pm would be even better but highly unlikely given most kids go to bed extra early on Christmas Eve. Callie is no different. You and Joe get her down by 6:30pm which should have given you ample time to bake cookies, finish wrapping her gifts, the whole nine yards.

If only you two had a better sense of self-control, because the minute you were confident Callie was out for the night, he had you bent over the kitchen island. And that was….that was fine, because you’d been thinking about him being inside you from the moment he stepped foot in your place. Hell, from the moment he left. 

But then you somehow ended up riding him on the living room floor, his back propped up against the sofa as you bounced on his dick, surrounded by the toys you should have been wrapping for your daughter. And while you eventually did get the gifts wrapped and cookies baked, you weren’t even able to change from out of your towel and into pajamas when this man propped you on your bathroom counter, spread your legs, and ate you out like he’d been fasting for 40 days and 40 nights. 

It wasn’t entirely surprising. Joe’s always had a big appetite for sex, for you. Not that you were any better. And the fact of the matter was that having a kid meant you had to take advantage of the little free time you had, which you clearly did. 

But it was now coming to bite you in the ass, because it’s goddamn 9 o’clock in the morning, and Callie is jumping up and down on your bed when all you want to do is sleep for another ten hours.

“Mommy! Joe! Santa came!”

It’s nearly impossible to hold in your groan, so you suppress it by turning over and pressing yourself into Joe. Of course, he’s already got his arm around you, holding you against his body. He’s also still knocked out. 

Finding the strength, you shove on his chest. “Wake up.” It’s a bit incoherent, sleep still heavy in you and hindering your speech. Blinking your eyes open to allow the sun shining from the open curtains (courtesy of Callie) to motivate you to get your ass up, you punch him in his stomach. “Joe.”

He grunts, and you smile. “She’s up.” 

Pleased with the fulfillment of her alarm clock duties, she jumps off the bed, yelling, “come on!”

At that, you sit up from the mattress, scolding her, “Calista Manaia Anoa’i, you got one more time to jump off this bed, sis!” Looking back to see Joe still trying to wake up, you shove him again. “You better get your daughter before she gets punished on Christmas.”

This helps to stir him as he lays on his back, hand on his forehead. “Leave her alone.” It takes a minute for you to refocus. His voice in general is sexy as hell, but that morning voice is something dangerous. 

“Her ass is always trying to jump on and off shit.” Kicking off the blankets, you stretch and make your way into the bathroom to do your hygiene routine. Joe is not too far behind, coming in a few minutes later, slapping your ass as you’re bent over the sink spitting out your toothpaste. “Behave,” you warn. The two of you share the sink and counter space to get ready with you finishing first. 

Back in the room, you make up the bed and check your phone, sending out a few, quick Merry Christmas texts, Bianca included. Even though you’ve only texted since yesterday, she seems pretty chill and you have a couple of things in common, kids around the same age, both working as teachers. It’s just unfortunate that she lives further down South. You’re not sure how you’re gonna break that to Callie, but that’s a task for another day. 

Today is an exciting, happy occasion, and you’re not gonna let anything or anyone ruin it. 

Joe is suddenly behind you, arms around your waist and mouth on the side of your neck. 

“Merry Christmas, baby” he murmurs, pressing kisses against your skin. 

Chewing down on your bottom lip, you turn around and lean up to kiss him. “Merry Christmas.” Hands on his chest, you ask, “You ready?”

He looks at you, clearly thinking about what you’re asking. This is what he’d been building up to, but you’re certain there’s some level of anxiety. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” he finally answers. You’re not certain if he’s speaking more to you or himself. 

“She’s gonna be happy, Joe. I promise.” Stealing one more kiss, you take his hand. “Come on. She’s gonna start getting impa—”

“Come on!” She shouts from the living room, and you give him a look. 

“That’s your child.” His chuckle follows you out of the bedroom and into the living room where Callie is literally bouncing on the heels of her feet near the Christmas tree. You’re not entirely certain, but you could have sworn there weren’t as many gifts there when you left for your shower and eventually bed. 

“It’s Christmas!” Running over to Joe who swoops her up and kisses her cheek as she tells him Merry Christmas, you patiently wait for your turn, giving her a kiss and hug too before she’s pulling the both of you over to the tree. 

Using your phone, you snap photos and record intermittent videos of her opening her gifts. And in doing so, you’re certain Joe added a couple more when you were in the shower. He’s definitely that dad who doesn’t see an issue with spoiling the shit out of his kid. And as long as Callie remains kind and respectful, you won’t stop him. He’ll definitely hear about it tonight, but you won’t actually interfere.

Alexa playing Christmas songs in the background helps to set the tone as well. Mostly Mariah Carey because it’s literal law that one must listen to All I Want for Christmas is You on Christmas day. Really, starting the day after Halloween. 

You don’t make the rules. 

Literal fucking law. 

Callie suddenly pulls a gift, small and rectangular shaped, that you definitely don’t remember wrapping. “Mommy, it’s for you!” Thinking it’s something she made for you, you put your phone down and take it only to recognize that the writing is clearly too nice to be written by a child, not to mention that it has your name instead of mommy. 

Your eyes land on him. “Joe….what is this?”

“Open it,” he encourages, waiting patiently.

Still in somewhat belief he would actually get you something, you rip off the packaging and gasp. You almost drop it reading the brand name written in gold calligraphy. “Chanel? Thee Chanel?”

“Who’s Chanel, mommy?” 

“It’s a brand, baby,” you answer, distracted because you’re still stuck on the fact that you’re actually holding in your hand something that had to cost at least a thousand dollars. If not a couple thousand. 

“Open it, mommy,” Callie presses. This girl is both nosy but also loves to see people receive gifts. 

And so, you open it, gasping louder this time.

“Joe…..” It’s absolutely stunning, the most beautiful necklace you’ve ever seen. Gold. An intricately decorated ‘C’ pendant with a diamond in the middle. C for Chanel for most people. C for your heartbeat for you. “It’s beautiful….” 

He moves over to you, helping to remove it from the box. As your hair is already up in a messy bun, he has no difficulty placing it around you, as Callie exclaims happily, “it’s a C!.”

“C for Callie,” you answer her, cupping her cheek before turning to Joe. “Thank you…..” Pulling him in for a hug, there’s something so emotional about this moment, something pure. You’ve never felt so cared for by anyone.

Never felt so loved. 

He kisses your temple. “You never have to thank me for anything I do for you.” 

Hating the fact that tears are brimming your eyes, you punch his shoulder, needing to not be so emotional. “You should have told me you got me something. Now I feel bad because I didn’t get you anything.” 

Thumb caressing your cheek, he answers, softly. “You already did.” Confused, his eyes discreetly focus on Callie who’s back trying to figure out which toy she wants to play with first.

That….that does something to you. 

You look at him, ready to say something, when you see it. See it in his eyes. A deep level of appreciation that indicates a story, a reason as to why this means the world to him. There’s something there. Something more he’s not saying, but you know it’s neither the time nor the place. 

Now….now is the time for something else. 

“Baby.” It’s surprisingly easy to catch Callie’s attention, so you pat the space in between the two of you. “Come here. We need to talk to you about something.” 

Wordlessly, she plops right between ya’ll with that naturally inquisitive expression. 

“Callie….” Joe feeling a bit nervous made sense to you, and you expected as such. But you never thought about your own trepidation in this moment. It’s difficult, but you do your best to push it away. “Do you….do you remember when you asked me about your dad?” She nods. “And why…..why you didn’t have one?”

She nods again, Joe this time grabbing her attention. “Callie, do you know why I came back in your mom’s life?”

She thinks about his question, answering tentatively, “because you missed mommy?”

He chuckles. “That’s true. I did miss her. A lot.” You try not to think too much about his words, to not make this moment about you or you and him. It’s about Callie. “But, I mostly came back because I wanted to meet you.”

Her eyes light up. “Really?”

He nods, “Calista, you are the sweetest, kindest, and smartest kid that I have ever met. And I love every second that I get to spend with you.” Joe brings his hand to gently palm her face. “And I especially love being your dad.” 

You’re not quite sure if you’re breathing or even fully present in the few seconds it takes for Callie to process what he’s just said. But then, you see it, a smile that could light up times square. “Really?” She snaps her head in your direction, looking for confirmation. “Mommy, is Joe really my daddy?”

Sniffling, you wipe at your eyes. Damn feelings. You’ve been way too emotional lately. “He sure is, baby.” 

Squealing, she literally throws herself against him, hugging him tightly. “It’s the best Christmas ever!”

“I love you, Callie.” Joe shuts his eyes, taking in this moment, kissing the top of her head. “And I’ll always be here for you.”

“I love you too, daddy!” If you could capture this moment, capture those words leaving her mouth, forever keep them as a keepsake to be preserved for all time, you would. Because it’s everything you’ve ever wanted for her. To know she’s wanted and loved by both her parents. And finally, that moment is no longer a hope but a reality. 

“Wait!” She suddenly pulls away, grabbing the picture she’d drawn for Joe and given to him as a Christmas gift. “I’ll be back!”

He looks over at you. “What is she—” 

“Your guess is as good as mine,” you answer with a murmur, still partially overcome with emotion. 

However, Callie is back in a matter of minutes with that beautiful smile on her face. Flipping it over, she exclaims, “I fixed it.” 

Your eyes immediately land on what she “fixed,” and your heart swells. She’s crossed out Joe’s name with a black marker and instead written above it “daddy.”

“I love it.” His voice is thick with emotion, and you move closer to him, laying against his side. Wanting to be with him in this precious moment. 

Callie wasn’t lying.

This truly is the best Christmas. 

________

“Come on! We’re gonna be late!” 

Callie’s animated voice somehow travels to you and Joe despite all of the hustle and bustle occurring around you, the sea of bodies waiting for the fireworks show to begin. There’s not much distance between the two of you and her, enough for Joe to grab her if need be. 

You walk close with him, you hands locked around his bicep.

His discomfort is obvious, so you assure, “relax. You’re not the tribal chief around here.” He glances at you. “They may notice you, but they’ll leave you alone. Especially since it’s Christmas.”

This seems to relieve him as she explains, “tonight is about her. I just don’t want to take away from that.”

“And you won’t, I promise. Just….just be present in this moment.” He takes your hand in his, giving a gentle squeeze. Continuing to walk with him, your eyes land on Taylor, Darius, and a woman who, even from a distance, looks vaguely familiar. 

“Taylor!” 

Callie rushes over to her new best friend, and the two embrace. You almost wish you had your phone out to take a picture. The woman wears a friendly smile, but instantly, something feels off. She approaches you, asking, “Y/N?”

Nodding, you’re shocked when she pulls you in for a hug and then apologizes. “I'm sorry. I’m a hugger, and I just feel like I know you already.” 

Callie takes this moment to jump back in the conversation, rushing over to Joe and introducing, “this is my daddy!”

That settles some of your anxiety. You’re not certain you’ll ever get tired of hearing her refer to him as such, and you know he won’t either.

“Man, uhh, hi, nice–nice to meet you.” Immediately, you know that Darius most definitely recognizes Joe. “Big fan.”

“Thanks, man.” Joe, understandably, keeps it simple, and you clear your throat. 

“Thank you for arranging this with us. Callie seems to really like Taylor.”

“Taylor too,” Bianca expresses with a smile, as you realize she also has dimples. It’s a little thing, stupid, but as much as you try, you can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. “I swear, you would think they’ve known each other for years.”

Joe chuckles. “They’ve hit it off pretty well.”

“I’m sorry.” You hate being so off-putting and direct, especially given all of your text exchanges with this woman have gone so well, but you have to ask, “have we m—-”

“Bianca!”

A woman’s voice calls out, interrupting your conversation. 

She looks past you and smiles, waving whoever it is over. “My parents,” she informs. “Over here!”

Callie and Taylor are immersed in a conversation, as you make eye-contact with Joe who gives you that ‘what’s wrong?’ expression. Answering truthfully, you shrug and murmur, “I don’t know.”

The presence of Taylor’s grandparents snatches her attention from Callie. “Grandpa!”

Turning around, you manage a small, inauthentic smile to introduce yourself when you see it. And everything is suddenly ten ways wrong. 

There’s a brief second where you question yourself, question your vision, question your entire existence. But as he smiles, holding and kissing his grandchild on the cheek, you just know, know that you’re not wrong.

“Dad,” Bianca speaks, but you’re someplace else, someplace much different. “This is Y/N and…..”

She’s talking, but you’ve completely dissociated. You can’t say anything, paralyzed with shock and an overwhelming feeling of heartache. 

That’s why she looked so familiar. You saw her that day at the precinct, coming into his office to inform him of her sibling’s misbehavior. This is his daughter.

This is your sister. 

The daughter he picked over you. 

And this is your father. 

You’re going to be sick.

Partially aware of Joe’s suddenly cautious gaze on you, you place one hand over your stomach. “Excuse….excuse me….I—” You feel like you’re going to pass out, like four walls surround and are gradually closing in on you. Your throat is about to close up. “I have to go.” And you run, you run as far as your legs can take you, away from that situation, away from that visceral blast from the past, away from the overwhelming emotions that are threatening to overcome you. 

And you don’t stop.

[quicktosimp]

I Fucking Hate You

A/N: Welcome back to Day 4 of Survive the Night! And happy 4th of July!!! To celebrate the fourth, I decided to go with the American man of the hour! This is the most tame out of my fics, but I still hope you enjoy!

Warnings: 18+, Hate Sex, Sub!Quaritch, Mean!Reader, Slapping, Degradation, Manipulation, Fingering, Cunnilingus, Kuru Play, Scent Kink

Being stuck in a giant blue body was the last thing I wanted. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have always been on the side of the Na’vi, no matter what, but I had no interest in becoming one. I was completely satisfied as a human and planned on dying as a human. I guess I got what I wanted; somehow, I died, and they decided to put me in this body full-time. Fucking sucks, but what can I do about it.

Funny enough, I figured that if I died, it’d be due to the bastards finding out I’ve been ratting them out to the natives this whole time, but I don’t think they’d waste a couple of billion on a traitor.

So not only do I have to continue living on this hell planet, I got saddled with Lucifer himself, fucking Colonel Miles Quaritch. After getting our new bodies, the doctors ordered mandatory physical rehab until we could prove ourselves in the field. Of course, that means sparing, and because I am now a part of ‘Deja Blu,’ as we’re so aptly named, I can’t help but roll my eyes every time I think about that god-awful name; that means that I’m under the head bitches command. Fuck I hate listening to that pompous jackass. He’s always on my ass, and I don’t mean in the ‘he scrutinizes my every decision’ type of way; I mean he follows me everywhere, gives me the best gear, refuses to let anyone talk back to me, and no one else is allowed to spar with me. Maybe I wouldn’t hate it as much if it weren't for the fact that he holds back the entire time. I can’t even get a decent exercise out of him!

I huffed as I waited in the training room, the large sparring mat in the middle of the floor. I had kicked off my shoes a while ago, tapping my barefoot impatiently, waiting for his royal highness to arrive.

After 43 minutes of waiting, the metal doors finally swooshed open, and there he was, sauntering in with that damn grin on his face, looking like the cat who caught the canary.

“Sorry about that, Darlin’, got held up by the general; you know how she can get,” He grinned, stepping onto the mat.

I rolled my eyes as my bare feet padded on the metal floor, the mat a welcome feeling from the stark cold, “Let’s just get to work,” I mumbled lazily. 

Quaritch’s eyes flashed with glee as he readied himself on the mat, eagerly meeting me in the middle. “You’re always such an eager thing,” he said quickly, getting into position on the mat.

I match his stance, widening my legs and bringing my arms up to my chest, with Quaritch being taller than me, most attacks will come from above, so keeping my hand up will keep me more protected.

Already irritated from waiting, I struck first, quickly jabbing at his neck, wanting this over with. Unfortunately, Quaritch dogges, sidestepping me and aiming for my middle; I pivot around, keeping him directly in front of me. I used the momentum to drive my right foot into his knee, landing a solid hit; he stumbled back, and using the chance, I aimed two hits on his stomach. He caught the first hand, but the second sent him to the ground.

I growled lowly, my tail flickering irritably behind me. I know he can fight better than this; I’ve seen him.

“Can’t you do any fucking better than that?” I snapped, returning to the middle of the mat, ready to go again. 

Quaritch stands and follows me to the middle. “As you wish, Sweetheart,” he drawls. His face looks serious, but the way his ears perk up, I knew he is pleased.

I growled and went again.

We did this again and again and again.

Never once did I lose. By now, I was hissing and spitting at Quaritch, pissed that he never once actually fought me. 

“Can you do anything right, you fucking bitch?” I snarled, uppercutting his face sending him to the ground. 

Quaritch lays there panting, his eyes blown wide, as blood drips from his nose, “I dunno Doll, seems we’re having a good time right now,” He smiled softly at me.

I scoff, turning away from him, “Like I can have fun with you, such a useless fuck.”

He scrambled off the mat, trying to catch up with me, “Don’t be like that; I was just trying to have a good time with you,” He gently grabbed my arm as he pleaded with me.

“Oh yes, I just love having my time wasted when I could be sparing with anyone else. Mansk has been interested, and I’d probably learn something from him, unlike you,” I commented in an overly sweet tone, not letting his grip slow me.

I had to hold back my smirk; I knew mentioning Mansk would get his attention. Qauritch turned me around, grabbing both my arms, refusing to let me leave.

His ears pinned back as Quaritch looked at me pleadingly, “I’m sorry, Darlin’, don’t leave; I shouldn’ have messed with ya like that. I just wanted to have some time with ya,” He quickly tried to plead his case. 

I rolled my eyes, refusing to look at him, “I could have done something productive, yet instead, I was stuck with your uselessness. You’re supposed to be a Colonel, yet you can’t even spar properly. Seriously, why do I even bother with you?”

Quaritch bit his lip as he tried to think of something to say, “You’re just so pretty I can’t even think about markin’ such a cute face. I hate the idea of you getting hurt.” 

I slowly leaned back, making him think that I was walking away.

“No, no, no, please don’t go! Let me make it up to ya,” His grip tightened slightly; still afraid of grabbing me too hard, he refused to leave a single mark on my body.

I raised my eyebrow as I looked at him from the side, “And how do you plan on making it up to me?”

Quaritch’s breathing quickened as he slowly lowered himself to his knees, his hands caressing my arms as he slides down until he rested at my hips. He rests his head on my stomach, “Would this be good for you?”

I huff dramatically as if this isn’t exactly what I wanted, “Let’s see if you can actually please me,” I cross my arms over my chest. 

His shoulders drop as if I had just released all of his anxiety. My shirt had ridden up during our sparring, leaving some of my blue skin exposed to Quaritch; he slowly started to kiss the skin, open-mouthed and wet, gently sucking on each spot. 

I’m careful not to show that I was enjoying it; I can’t let him have an easy time after the shit he pulled earlier. I looked away, not bothering to have him in my sight.

Quaritch’s large hands start to massage my hips, gently pulling the fabric of my pants down, giving him more skin to suckle on.

This goes on for a little while. I indulge him in worshiping my body, but I want more. I grab the base of his queue, tugging it, “I’m getting bored,” I explain dully.

A loud groan left his lips as I pulled on the most sensitive part of his anatomy. Quaritch’s instincts should be screaming at him to move, to remove the pain away from a crucial part of his body, yet he doesn’t fight me for one second. Instead, he looks at me with devotion.’

“‘M sorry, Doll,” He moaned, slowly unzipping my pants.

The bothersome material drops to the floor, and carefully Quaritch helps me step out on each side, relieving me of the damned fabric. As usual, I forgo any underwear; the natives have it right, the less clothing, the better; everything the humans make here is fucking awful on my skin. 

My slit was already slightly relaxed from his attention earlier; small droplets of slick escaped me. They didn’t go far; as Quaritch’s tongue lapped them up, the sound that came out of him was primal; he placed his nose right at my slit and breathed deeply. The fucking slut always does this. He’s such a scent freak. 

“Fuckin’ hell, Darlin’, you always smell so good,” His words of praise sounded through the room.

I scoffed lightly as I gave another sharp tug to his queue, “What did I just say about being bored?” 

Quaritch’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, “Oh fuck,” His voice came out in a timber moan, but finally he did something. He stuck out his tongue, using the flat of it to lick from the bottom of my slit to the top. 

I lean my head back and close my eyes, enjoying the new attention. He continues to slowly lap at my slit, easing it open more. The gentle waves of pleasure were nice; glad that he’s good at this; it’s the only damn thing he’s good at.

Quaritch slowly pulls away, “Darlin’, would you mind-”

I snarl as I tug his queue, pulling his head at an awkward angle, a small hiss leaving his lips from the stabbing pain in his skull.

“I do, in fact, mind you wasted my time and my attention, and now you think you can ask something for me when the only thing you can do right is give me a little bit of pleasure? Fuck you’re useless; at least Sully could make me cum over and over again, yet here I am, settling for your mouth.” I growled.

My words cut Quaritch as they always do, his eyes widening, looking like I had betrayed him, but I smirked as I spotted his pants; through the tan fabric, there was a wet spot forming from where his cock was attempting to escape his own slit.

“Alway’s a fucking masochist; I wonder what the general would think knowing her prized Colonel is nothing more than a slut who likes being degraded.” I forced his head back to my slit, not leaving any room for him to move, “Now, do your fucking job before I decide to report your behavior.”

I could see the panic building in him; if I were to go to her bitchyness, all our little escapades would have to stop. Quaritch knows that I can easily replace him, and I wouldn’t think twice about him, but I am his fucking world. I am his goddess on this forsaken planet; losing me would devastate him, and he would lose his very self. 

His mouth resumed with vigor, licking my slit, trying to open me up for more. The fear in his eyes brought heat to my slit, causing slick to leak out, making a mess all over Quaritch’s face. He sucks the flesh into his mouth, forcing the skin to swell from the blood flow.

“Oh fuck that’s it,” I moaned, grinding my hips into his face. 

He moaned in response to me, and he started to roll his hips, wanting stimulation but knowing that I didn’t permit him to touch. His free hand traveled from my hip to my slit, easily sliding a finger into my wetness, my inner tendrils eagerly wrapping around his finger. A soft sigh left my lips, his finger curling inside me, stimulating my insides. Quaritch never stopped his work with his mouth, eagerly slurping up my slick and sticking his tongue inside, searching for more.

“More,” I growled lightly, rocking my hips.

Quaritch eagerly complied, slipping another finger inside me, the two wiggling and spreading around, my inner tendrils trying to curl around both of them while trying to bring them closer, my body not understanding that I couldn’t get sperm from them. All that my body longs for. 

Come on, fuck yes,” I whined, the coil in my stomach tightening as he slipped in another finger; my legs started to shake as I came, stars spotted across my vision as I grabbed Quaritch’s shoulder for support, slick gushed out of my covering his shirt and soaking the material.

Quaritch helps me ride out my high, his lips and fingers slowing before removing them. I work on catching my breath; as I step back, looking down, all I can see is pure love in his eyes.

He smiles softly at me, proud of what he did for me, “You feelin’ better, Darlin’?”

I nod my head sharply, not wanting to answer him.

His smile falters as he looks up hesitantly, “Darlin’, you know that I lo-”

I quickly shut him up as my hand meets his face. My palm is stinging as his face is snapped to the side.

I look him dead in the eye, void of any emotion, “No, you don’t. Don’t you ever fucking say that again.” 

I turned around, grabbing my pants along the way, knowing I left him there dejected on the floor.

Of course, I know this; this is how I leave him every time.

Banner by: @cafekitsune

Taglist: @xylianasblog, @eywaite, @hotdsworld, @tallulah477

[siriuslydaz3d]

Home || Peter Quill

Summary: Peter goes home

Warnings: Uhh none, I think?

AN) this is a rewrite of something I did after Endgame! if you enjoy, please let me know! Also yes, there’s a reference to his bisexuality because fuck it, we need bi rep and so many people forget Peter Jason Quill is bisexual. 

Peter looked down at the stack of letters he had been writing for (Y/N). He felt nervous, guilty even for returning after all these years. He hadn’t purposely left, he was abducted. He isn’t even sure if she remembers him. Was it possible?

To (Y/N) August 1989

The oldest letter in the stack, written the year after he was taken. It explained what his life was like now. Telling her about his first year in space. Asking her what it was like in 4th grade. Apologizing for being gone. Promising to see her as soon as he could. An ‘I love you always’ sloppily written at the bottom as he rushed to finish it.

To (Y/N) October 1990

10 year old Peter wished her a happy halloween, asking her what’s popular on Earth. The ramblings of a child excited about being gifted his very own spaceship. He made it a point to tell her it was named after Alyssa Milano. He told her all about Yondu and the ravagers.

He wrote to her at least once a year. His handwriting slowly improved as he aged. He smiled down at the aged stacks of paper, thinking back fondly to his childhood. Peter shuffled through the letters, quickly glancing at the dates on each of them.

To (Y/N) May 2006

To (Y/N) July 2012

To (Y/N) August 2014

To (Y/N) November 2014

He paused on that one. November 2014. He wrote about his relationship with Gamora. He wrote about how he met his biological father, who just happened to be a planet. He wrote about the death of said father, and the death of the father that actually raised him. Yondu. 

To (Y/N) April 2023

The most recent one. He’d written it after they’d all returned. He wrote about the death of Gamora. He wrote about battling Thanos on Titan. He wrote about being back on Earth, about the massive battle in New York. He wrote about Tony Stark’s private funeral. He wrote about wanting to see her.

Peter organized the letters back in the original order. He’d asked Pepper for help, giving her what information he had on his childhood friend in hopes of tracking her down. Pepper had come through with plenty of information. (Y/N) actually lived in New York. She worked from home in IT. She was single. She had survived the blip. He was just down the street from her apartment, nerves taking over as he looked in the direction of her home. He took a deep breath, and continued down the street. Peter chewed on his lip as he knocked on her door. A faint ‘Just a minute!’ could be heard from the otherside, and at that moment, it took everything in him not to run away.

The door opened. “Hi, can I help you?” She spoke, his blood running cold and his throat felt tight. 

“You’re totally not going to believe this, but it’s me, (Y/N).” Peter rushed, causing her to raise her eyebrow. “I’m back. I-I’m Peter. Peter Quill from Missouri.” 

“This isn’t funny. I don’t know how you know about my connection to him-” She started, but Peter was quick to cut her off. 

“When you were in kindergarten, you got in trouble for having a pocket of worms. I got in trouble with you because I ate one of them in class. Nastiest taste in the world, but it amused you.” He chuckled, running his fingers over the envelopes. “If that didn’t convince you, I remember the huge crush you had on Mark Hamill after we watched Star Wars. I bullied you for ages about it.” 

“Peter..” She whispered, hand coming to cover her mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at him. “It’s been 35 years, where the fuck have you been?” 

Peter stuck the worn pile of envelopes out in front of him. “Funny enough, these probably explain it better than I could. I wrote to you frequently. I’m gonna be completely honest, I wasn't even sure if I was ever coming back. I was convinced I was wasting time, but y’know all the funky shit that happened kinda forced me back.” 

(Y/N) took them and flicked through the pile. “I never stopped looking for you. When they said you disappeared, I went looking everywhere we’d gone. I thought you’d just run away, but rumors began that maybe you’d died and I just.. I knew you weren’t dead.” Her eyes met his face and she smiled. “I’ve missed you, dumbass.” 

Peter stepped forward, wrapping his arms tightly around her as they stood there in an embrace. “I’m sorry for leaving, and again, you won’t believe this but I’ve got a pretty insane reputation in space.” 

The woman pulled away and raised her eyebrow at him. “What? Peter.. You mean outer space right? Like up there?” She asked him, pointing up at the sky. He nodded, a childish grin plastered on his face. 

“Ask me about my reputation.” 

“I’m afraid to know.” She sighed. 

“C’mon.” He cooed, swaying them slightly. “You know you’re curious.” 

“What’s your reputation, Peter?” 

He looked down at her with his signature smirk. “On Terra, I’m just little old Peter Quill. A boring, apparently presumed dead, nobody. In space, I’m the legendary outlaw turned hero of the galaxy known as Star-Lord, lover to all.” He winked, making (Y/N) roll her eyes. 

“Lover to all, huh? How many alien STDs do you have?” She laughed as he groaned. “Do aliens have STDs?” 

“I don’t have any that I know of, and I’m assuming they do. I don’t just go around asking aliens if they do or not!” He replied, as his childhood friend doubled over with laughter. “I missed hearing you laugh.” 

“I missed you, Peter. It’s nice to have you back, even if it’s temporary.” She huffed, looking up at him. “I don’t know how long you’re staying, if you are, but would you like to have dinner with me? I want a chance to properly catch up with you.” 

“Are you asking me on a date?” 

“Never in a million years, space boy.” She spoke, stepping aside and motioning him in. “C’mon, I make a mean ass pot of chili and I’m assuming you haven’t had any in ages.” 

Peter happily stepped inside, shrugging off his coat and tossing in on the closest chair. He looked around her apartment, the walls covered with photos from her life and movie posters he didn’t recognize. A photo of him and her on Halloween hung beside a framed drawing he’d made for her back before he was abducted. 

“Hey, (YN), what the hell is Revenge of the Sith? And why do you have a big ass poster of it?” 

[wrenwinchester]

So, I started writing this snippet back in December, and it started based on the whole “and when dad came home…” line from Dean in season five. Obviously. I’m not sure if this will be included in my actual fic, but my timeline is that this happens when Sam is 11, since I couldn’t find a canon age. This is unedited, though I did read through it the other day, and it’s definitely painting John in a harsh light.

I don’t know that this fits all characteristics of how I see them, but like I said it’s unedited and I’m gonna stop stalling and just let you read if you so choose. Happy 4th of July.

TW: child abuse, canon typical violence,

Word count: 4,330

Flagstaff

Sam 11, Millie 13, and Dean 15 (we don't have a canon age for when he ran off.)

"Why do you guys have to go this time? And why can't Dean and I come too?"

Dean's head snaps towards Sam before he looks at me. And I try to hide the worry in my face, and ignore the tension growing in my shoulders as I turn away from the bag I'm packing.

Sammy's voice isn't scared, he's frustrated. I don't blame him. I'm just as tired of this shit as he is.

"Dad told you why. He needs Dean to work on research for that other case, and Dean hates doing stuff by himself. Besides. It's a simple salt and burn, we'll be a week, tops." I smile at him, hoping it's reassuring as I reach up to ruffle his hair. When did I start having to reach up to the top of his head? At least he's still shorter than me. Even if only barely.

I shake my head. And Sam deflates, going to mope in the other room. Fucking preteens, man. Goddamn. I give Dean a look of sympathy. I know he'd rather be the one going on this hunt, hell, I'd rather stay here with Sam.  At least then I'd only have to worry about one brother.

"Mills, if you don't finish packing, Dad is going to be pissed when he gets back." I nod, Dean's eyes promising me they'd be okay.

The door opens, and despite everything I tell myself, my body freezes.

"You ready to go?" Dad's voice is gruff, and I flinch as the door slams behind him. Sam comes back into the main room, ready to fight before Dean gives him a look.

I nod stiffly, not trusting myself. Unlike either of my brothers, I know what this hunt is actually about. And it's not just another hunt, but God do I wish it was.

Dad is using me as bait.

He's using me as bait, and I can't fucking tell my brothers.

"Sam, you'll be fine. Just listen to Dee, and stay out of trouble." I smile at him, reassuringly. He just nods sadly.

"Sam." Dad's voice is harsh as he says the name, and Dean and I both ready to jump in if necessary. "Stop throwing a fit over every little detail." The quiet that sweeps over the room is thick. "If you needed to be on this hunt, you would be." Sam flinches at the words, and I just want to stay and hold him.

But I can't.

Dad has already left the room, so I have to trail behind him.

I glance between my brothers before I walk out the door. Dean can handle Sammy. He always has.

...

Unsurprisingly, the hunt took longer than a week. Hell, it took almost a month, Dad ran me ragged, keeping me up late in the night figuring out what it was, because it sure as hell wasn't a ghost. (I'm still not sure what it was.) Dean had called at some point, but we were busy, and Dad yelled at me for trying to answer it. That was a week ago. I haven't heard from either of my brothers since, but frankly it was weirder that we'd gotten a call from Dean at all.

It had me worried.

But now we're on our way back to the motel where we left the boys at.

"Millicent, stop bouncing." Dad's voice is harsh, and I force my legs to hold still.

My finger starts tapping. "What was that thing, Dad?" I ask trying to distract myself from everything that could have gone wrong with my brothers.

"An Okami, they're rare in the states, 'cording to Bobby, but it stayed down, so guess we did something right." He's demeanor is so calm. It pisses me off, how can he not even be concerned about the lack of communication from Sam and Dean. I rub the bandage on my arm nervously, at least I'll see them soon.

"Interesting, why do you think there's one here now?" At least if he's talking I can pretend to be focused on that.

"No idea kiddo, but it's gone now." He reaches over to ruffle my hair, and I let him, if only because I don't want his mood to sour. "Get some rest, we've still got a couple hours 'til we're back with your brothers.

I nod and turn towards the window, watching as the sun sets and stars come out. Wishing more than anything that we were with my brothers right now.

I must have fallen asleep shortly after, because the car is now pulling into the motel parking lot.

Before Dad even has the car in park, I jump out of passenger seat, ignoring the cut in my side as it pulls from the movement.

Dad shakes his head in amusement, as I rush to the door, knowing I'll have to wait at least 5 minutes for him to get our bags and get over here with the key, but I'm too impatient.

Thankfully, I don't have to wait that long, I don't even have to do the knock. Dean opens the door, and within a second, I've wrapped my arms around his neck, and out of sheer habit, he lifts me up to swing me around.

I wince despite wanting to enjoy this rare show of affection, and Dean quickly sets me down on the sidewalk.

"Are you okay?" He asks, worry in his eyes.

I nod, "yeah, just a small cut. I'm fine." I don't mention the stitches dad had to put in, or the cut on my arm, as I check Dean over. Usually when Dad takes just Sam or I on a hunt or to practice, Dean seems healthier, at least more rested.

Dean's only response is to nod back, before turning his attention to Dad.

"Dad?" He calls out, his voice small and scared. I started to worry. Dad had looked up from the trunk of the impala, and I didn't like the look in his eye. I went into the hotel room, I didn't need to be out there, for this conversation, and I'd missed Sam too.

I checked all the rooms for Sam, but I couldn't find him. Dean wouldn't have let Sam go off on his own. I glance back towards the door as the realization dawns on me.

Sam is gone, and Dean is telling Dad right now.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Not two seconds later, Dad is storming into the motel room, Dean following behind earnestly.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET HIM GO OFF ON HIS OWN?" His voice is harsh, and once the door is closed, my heart starts beating fast. I try to step in between them, but Dad pushes me out of the way on to the floor. My heart is beating faster, and panic is setting in as I watch, disoriented from the floor.

Dad's hand is... it's wrapped around Dean's throat. De.. Dean is struggling to breathe, I can see it in his face. I try to stand up, dizzy and disoriented, I probably have a concussion now, but that's every other week at this point.

"Dad. Dad!" I rush across the room, throwing myself on Dad's arm, trying to get in-between. "Dad! You're going to kill him!" My voice is harsh, I've never been more scared. As I'm pulling on his arm to get him to set Dean down, I look in his eyes.

"Dad, please!" I'm pleading with him now, but I'd do anything to get him to stop. When he finally looks at me. He lets go of Dean, who then falls to the floor. He brings up his hand, slapping me across the face.

"He lost your brother! The Hell am I supposed to do?" He quickly turns back to Dean, moving on to wailing on him, not hard enough where people would see the bruises when Dean went back to school, but still. My heart breaks more than it ever has.

"Dad! It's not his fault!" I just wanted it all to stop, and he just hits me once in the stomach, hard enough to put me out of commission for a while.

"Enough!" Dean's also out of commission for at least a week, but Dad walks out of the motel. I don't really care where he's going, I'm just glad that he's gone for a while, and assume he's going to look for Sam, or to a bar. Probably a bar.

I crawl over to Dean.

"Dee?" My voice is strained, and I'm pretty sure I have a broken rib or two, and the cut on my side is definitely reopened.

"Are you okay, Millie?" his voice is hoarse, and I can't believe that he is asking if I'm okay, when Dad almost killed him.

"ME? What about you?" I let out a dry chuckle, "Dad almost killed you."

I'll be fine, it's nothing that hasn't happened before." He looks away from me as he says it, his voice barely above a whisper, not to mention the fact he all but lost it from Dad choking him.

My eyes soften, as my heart breaks into smaller pieces. "I knew about the hitting, that's nothing new, but he's choked you out before?" tears start welling in my eyes, and I don't mention the ones I see in his. He just nods. "Oh, Dee." I try to lean against his shoulder, but wince as the cut pulls, reminding me of reality.

"You sure you're okay Millie?" Dean asks, more like coughs.

I try to nod reassuringly, but the sting in my side has gotten worse, and my hand reaches up to grab it. "Shit." Frankly, we should both be going to the hospital, but we both know that's going to happen, and it's not even really an option.

Dean glances down to where my hand is gripping my side, and his eyes widen as he sees the blood starting to show through my shirt. Double shit.

I try to move, but I can't, it just makes it worse.

"Shit. Millie. What the hell?" Dean asks, he struggles to stand, but once he's up, he carefully lifts me up.

"Dean. Put me down. I'm fine." I try to push away from him, but everything in me wants to just close my eyes.

"No, you're not." He sets me on the bed. "Let me see it." It's not a request, but I roll my eyes, trying not to pass out as I do.

"Dean, I walked a mile out of the woods with this, then rode in the car for half an hour before Dad put the stitches in. I'll be fine for a few minutes." I hadn't meant to tell him what happened, especially not how long I'd been bleeding for, but nonetheless, it came out. Stupid delirium.

He looks at me in shock as I continue, "I mean, I didn't have a double concussion, or a broken rib, but still."

"Fuck, Millicent, what the fuck." He stares at me a second more before turning to my wound. Finally, I let him pull my shirt up to look at it. I hadn't checked it since last night, but it was fine. "Shit, Millie." he looked up at my face. I tried to ignore the rasp in his voice, it just made me angrier at Dad, and the last thing I needed was an increase in blood pressure. "I'm going to have to restitch this, and it's going to hurt like hell. Do you know which side the broken rib is? Can you tell?"

"Y-yeah," I sound breathless, and it's hard to breath. I remind myself it's nothing new, and it's not the first time I've had broken ribs. "At least one on both sides. I-I think."

"Motherfucker." Dean sighs. He shouldn't be the one doing this, but there's no one else I would really let. The only reason I let Dad was because I was too far from Dean, and I couldn't do it myself. "Okay, stay awake. I'm going to grab the first aid kit. Can you tell me what happened on the hunt? Or do you want me to tell you a story?"

He got up as he was talking, and I started to panic. "Y-you." my breathing is labored, and I think I'm in shock a little, because the reality of what just happened is just now hitting me. I shake my head. "Tell.. tell me why Sam took off, an-- and when." I say, trying to control my breathing.

When Dean comes back with the kit, he has me lay down on my left side, the side without the cut. I focus solely on Dean's voice as he talks, watching his hands move rhythmically as he sews up the cut in my side. The next few weeks are going to suck ass.

Dean tells me about a small fight he and Sam got in after Dad and I had been gone longer than a week. I nod in understanding, followed by a wince as he pulls my skin together with the floss. It wasn't the first time Sam lashed out when a hunt didn't go as planned.

Dean continues, saying Sam seemed to calm down after that, and it wasn't until a little over a week ago that Sam ran off. That's when he called. He tried to find him for a couple days before he called, but Sam never came back, and he couldn't find him.

"It's probably the most stress I've ever felt, until you guys came home, and I had to tell Dad." his voice feels distant, farther away than it should, and I can't tell if it's because I'm falling asleep, or if his voice is just that far gone.

Not long after that, he has me sit up. "This is going to suck worse, but if you're right, and you do have broken ribs, we have to wrap them." I sigh, wincing as I do, before nodding.

After I'm all patched up, and I can breathe again, I check Dean over for any open wounds, or anything, but there's nothing to patch up.

"I told you, I'm fine. You need to rest." He gets me to lay back down about an hour after he was done fixing me.

"We need to find Sam." I'm pacing now, grateful for my older brother who always watches out for me, but in this moment, I'm focusing on the fact that Sam has been missing for over a week. "Did you check the library? or the I don't know, is the county fair happening?" I ask, I know it's around that time of year, and Dean just nods.

"We're not going to find him in the next few hours, and we both are going to collapse if we don't get some rest. Come on." He practically pulls me to one of the two beds, and I reluctantly follow. He tucks me in, humming "Hey Jude" like Mom used to do before moving to sleep on the other bed.

"Where are you going?" I ask confused, it's almost never a question on whether or not he and I share a bed, hell we still occasionally all three share a bed.

"Millie Wren, you have at least two broken ribs, and a hole in your side," he sounds flabbergasted as he says it, "I'm not risking hurting you in our sleep."

"Dee, please. You know I don't sleep without sharing a bed with someone." That gets him, and he rolls his eyes.

"Dammit Wren, It's not my fault if you get hurt." I smile because for once he actually sounds like a brother, so I just nod in agreement.

A few minutes later, with the lights off, and both of us comfortable in the bed, Dean says, "are you still awake?" I turn my head to face him.

"It's only been five minutes, of course I'm awake." I tease, but even in the dark, I can see the seriousness of the conversation he wants to have.

"We can't tell Sam what Dad did when he found out. It was my job to protect him and I failed, it makes sense, and you know that getting in between makes things worse, it was bound to happen. It makes complete sense why Dad did what he did. He's scared of losing us like we lost Mom." I nod in agreement.

"You're right. Dad's reasons make sense, and We need to protect Sam." He nods and we both turn to look up at the ceiling instead. It's one of those popcorn ceilings, the textured ones. "You know I'm always going to step in right?" I ask him after a minute, and I feel his eyes turn to me as I talk. "You're not the only one instructed to protect their siblings, and that includes you. Besides, I can handle the yelling, the beating, as long as it's directed at me. You and Sam... You guys are my weaknesses."

"I really wish you wouldn't, but I understand why you will." With that comment, the conversation ends as we both know we have an understanding.

The next morning comes quickly, and movement is quickly stifled by pain and stiffness throughout my body. As I sit up, I glance over towards Dean's side of the bed, he's still sleeping, understandably so. Yesterday was one of the rougher days we've had. I glanced over to the other bed, it was untouched, Dad hadn't been back. I just hoped he was looking for Sammy rather than sitting passed out in a bar somewhere.

I slowly move towards the bathroom, the last time I'd been was like 18 hours ago. My mind wanders to Sam, what he's doing right now, if he's safe or not, and what Dad's reaction is going to be when he finds him. I shudder at the last thought before I remember that despite his loud opposition of Dad's orders, he is the golden child.

It takes me a while in the bathroom, literally every muscle in my body aches, I carefully lift up my shirt after I wash my hands, and I see the huge bruise on my left side and back from where Dad threw me on the floor. I sigh.

By the time I slowly walk out of the bathroom Dean is up, and we are ready to go look for Sam.

A couple more days pass by before Dad finally comes back, without Sam. Shit.

He's calmer now, and I can't smell any alcohol, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been drinking. Dean and I are walking on eggshells around him, not knowing what might set him off.

When Dad passes out around 2 that afternoon, a thought occurs to me. "Hey, Dean?" I whisper to avoid waking Dad up. He looks up from the news paper where he is reading for any approximately 11 year old John Does that might have turned up in the past couple weeks, there's nothing. "Isn't Flagstaff around here?" I ask, as an idea forms in my head that I can't believe we didn't think of sooner.

His eyes light up as realization dawns on his face. "Shit, Yeah it is." He looks like his brain is moving a thousand miles a minute. "Holy Fuck, I can't believe we never looked there." He doesn't have to worry about whispering, because even though his voice is mostly back, it's still pretty raspy.

"We have to wake Dad up." I say, anxiety coating my words. "It's the only place that makes sense, and you can't drive the car by yourself.

"Dammit, I hate that you're right." His voice is weary, but somehow less raspy.

"We could wait until he wakes up on his own?" I offer, but we both know it's a bad idea. We'd likely get another beating for waiting to go get Sam from whatever trouble he got himself into. Dean just looks at me. "I know. I know."

"Go to the other room, Millie, I'll wake him up." Dean says, courage building in his voice, but I can hear the fear he's trying to hide.

"No, we're doing this together. I'm not letting you take the heat for this by yourself." I sound a lot more confident than I feel, but Dean doesn't push. Very carefully we wake him up.

Neither one of us gets yelled at, a welcome surprise, instead, he makes both of us get in the car as he drives to Flagstaff. The car is silent the whole ride.

When we get there, Dad instructs Dean and I to stay in the car. We obey. We've gotten whooped enough times this week, we weren't about to open the door to another one.

Dad goes in to a diner in town to check with locals about whether or not they've seen Sam. Dean and I diligently stay put, the silence in the car beginning to get overbearing. Dad talks inside the diner for a good half an hour or more, and just when Dean and I give each other a look considering disobeying orders, I see Sam.

"Dee..." I start.

"Millie, you heard what Dad said--" he started.

"No, Dean, look. It's Sam." I point out his window, and within a second, both of us are jumping out of the car, broken ribs and all, though at this point the cut is mostly healed.

"SAM!" Dean yells across the street. Sammy turns to face us, shock and wonder crossing his face.

"DEE!" he yells, before he sees me behind him. "MILLIE, YOU'RE BACK!!" I smile at him as relief settles over me, at least he's okay. Sam quickly looks both ways before making his way over to Dean and I. Despite his frustration, I can see Dean's relief in the slump of his shoulders and everything about how he's holding himself.

"I swear to God, Sammy, if you ever, and I mean EVER, do something like this again, I'm gonna throttle you myself," Dean says before giving him another hug. Sam knows nothing but empty threats like this, and I know that is all it is.

I hug both my brothers. "If either of you ever disappear on me again, I'm going to beat your asses." I say, before allowing Dean to guide us back to the car.

"Bitches." Dean says, pointing his word at both of us.

"Assholes."

"Fu-" Sam starts, but Dean and I both stare at him, he just rolls his eyes. "Jerks." I smile at the normalcy of just the three of us, until I remember one of us has to go get Dad.

Dean and I shove Sam into the car, not meanly, just making sure he's not going to slip away again before Dean says, "I'll go get Dad." I just shake my head.

"No way, I'll get him, he'll be softer on me, I'll be fine." Dean starts to object, but I cut him off, "Dean, you've taken the brunt of it this week, let me do this, and one of us needs to keep an eye on Sam." Reluctantly, Dean concedes. It's not like Dad is going to beat us in public, and then Sam will be back, so he'll be in a better mood.

Dean gets in the car next to Sammy, and I turn around sighing, it'll be fine. He's not gonna do anything that might cause suspicion from locals. I force myself to relax, before I walk into the diner after my dad.

It looks the same as most other diners I've been in across the country, a row of booths, a row of tables, and the counter. I glance around the room for Dad. I know he's in here somewhere, he has to be.

As I'm scanning the room for the third time, I finally see him, he's hunched over the counter a coffee in his hands as he's just sitting there. Sam's missing and he's sitting there.

Okay, well, Sam's not missing anymore, but he doesn't know that. I shove my anger down, I have to hold the family together, so I cautiously walk to where he's seated halfway across the diner.

"Dad," my voice sounds small, and I watch him fight the urge to snap at me for disobeying.

"Millie," his voice is strained. "I thought I told you to wait in the car?" It's not a question, he's giving me an out. Do other thirteen year olds think about this stuff, are they this cautious around their dads?

"Yes, sir, but Sam came back." I just blurt it out before he can cut me off, before the anger he's so good at pushing down boils over.

A weight seems to lift off of Dad's shoulders. Perhaps relief, perhaps he's no longer grieving his youngest child, perhaps he's just glad he's not in danger or hurt, or dead. "Good. Go wait in the car, I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Yes sir," I nod, turning around (practically in a perfect military style about face, but that's irrelevant). I go back out to the car, and join my brothers in the back seat of the Impala.

"Everything okay, Millie?" Dean asks, the worry lacing his tone only so much that I could tell, but Sam couldn't. Years of training our expressions taught us that one.

"Yeah, he says he'll be out in a few minutes." Dean nods, and we continue to sit in silence.

"Is Dad mad at me?" Sam asks, and my heart breaks. It's not something he should have to worry about. Ever. "I know I shouldn't have run off, I was just so frustrated."

Dean and I share a look before he looks back at Sam, "Dad could never be mad at you, you just scared him. You can't run off without telling anyone, okay?"

"Okay, Dee."

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Whatever hasn't been answered/whatever ones you feel like answering of these (cuz it's a lot lol): 1-4, 6-7, 12-13, 16, 21-23, 25-28, 31-32, 35-36, 43-44, 47-49, 51-52, 54-56, 59-65, 68, 70, 73, 79, 81-82, 84-85, 87, 89-94, 97-100

Noddy you’re insane. But I also like a challenge. Here’s most of them.

1. What were your summers like as a kid? My grandma and grandpa lived right next door, they took care of us while my parents had to work. In the summer, I usually just played pretend outside with my two cousins and sister that also lived next door on the other side of us.

2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters? Yes!

3. Who was your childhood hero? I looked up to the creators of atla a lot!

4. What is your favorite book? Probably still Behemoth, the second book in the Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld

6. What is your favorite outfit? Probably my cherry blossom tee with a pink skirt. Comfy and cute.

7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed? Annoyed and jealous, if I’m being honest. I wish I could feel that way. At least as naturally as other people.

12. Iced drinks or hot drinks? Iced drinks. My favorite drinks are iced coffee and iced tea.

13. Bright colors or neutral tones? Hmm. Probably neutral. I’m a big fan of pastels, if that counts.

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours? As much as I complain, probably my squinty eyes. My Dad and Grandpa both have them too and I like that I inherited that feature from them. I think it’s endearing that our eyes disappear when we smile, lol.

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? I remember arguing with a cousin over the phone when I was little on if it’s okay to run a red light if no one else is at the intersection. I insisted it was because my grandpa told me it was. She valiantly disagreed. That phone call lasted forever XD

23. What's your dream date? I don’t know. Maybe a movie or car ride so I don’t have to make eye contact LMAO

25. Do you like parties? Nope. Too loud.

26. Did you enjoy high school? Somehow, yes. I liked band and during lunch I got a break from everyone by eating lunch in a teacher’s room.

27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why? Pfft. Dear lord. Just one? My family has issues. Gonna skip over the mental illnesses and addictions and interpret this lightheartedly. My bisexual??? aunt is the life of any party. She can make friends anywhere. She lies all the time, over the dumbest things too. She is so fucking funny and problematic and I love her.

28. What's your favorite holiday tradition? 4th of July. My grandpa hosts the best party in the area at his house. My uncle and dad are usually the ones that organize it. Along with the help of most other family members who cook, clean, set up, etc. A lot of people come out and we eat barbecue, play games, light sprinklers, and watch the fireworks show.

31. What's a show that everyone loves that you didn't? Survivor. It’s so boring to me.

35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes? Only one I can think of is Robert Sheehan. I love his hair.

36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be? Ugh this is hard. The weeb in me says Japanese. The “language I’ve studied but am not great at” in me says Chinese. And the practicality in me says Spanish.

44. Do you have a favorite quote? “And the universe said I love you because you are love” and “despite everything, it’s still you.”

47. Biggest pet peeve? Someone demanding me to do a task without 1. prior notice and/or 2. me even agreeing to it

48. Favorite personality trait about yourself? I care a lot about fairness.

49. Sum up your type in three words. Goofy. Kind. Introverted.

52. Hot or cold weather? Cold weather

56. Favorite dessert? Cookie cake

61. What's your guilty pleasure movie? The Spongebob Movie

62. What's your comfort movie? Also The SpongeBob Movie

63. Is there a genre of music you don't like? Not a huge fan of country. Or rap with a lot of bass in it. Sensory ick

64. What's an album that you think has no skips on it? Through the Tides by Fish in a Birdcage

65. What's your favorite thing to watch on youtube? Reaction videos and aviation/diving disaster documentaries

68. What are you craving right now? Indian food

70. What's something you haven't done that you think most people have? Been in a relationship.

73. What time of day do you like best? Night

79. Do you like surprises? Hell no

81. What books influenced you most as a child? The Leviathan series, also the Care and Keeping of You books

82. Do you like kids? Yes! They can just be overstimulating sometimes.

84. Any wild stories passed around in your family? Apparently one time my dad and (older) cousin were walking across the beach on their way back to us from the bar and my dad tripped on a cord. The cord came unplugged and he accidentally cut off the music to someone’s wedding. Oops.

85. Do you consider yourself an independent person? Socially and emotionally? For the most part. Financially? No.

87. What was your childhood dream? I wanted to be a counselor to do better for the mentally ill kids like me than any of the “professionals” that handled me did when I was at my worst

89. What's one thing you want to achieve this year? Get a job that doesn’t make me burn out (impossible challenge)

93. What's your craziest work related story? One time a kid bit me on my boob really hard and left a bruise for weeks. One time another kid bit my finger and made it bleed so hard I had to go to the urgent care. One time one of our kids somehow spelled out the word ‘sexy ❤️’ by placing random letter stickers

94. What's the best job you've had so far? Being a carhop. It had a lot of downsides too but it is the only one I haven’t gotten fired/nearly fired from due to my autism swag yet LMAO

97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer? Planner, for sure

98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you? No. Depending on the context, most people would either see me as pretty wise and smart for some reason (friends) or the dumbest and most immature person you’ve ever had the displeasure of working with (coworkers). It seems like there’s never any middle ground. I’d like to think I’m in the middle of those extremes.

99. What's the last show you binged? The Owl House

100. What's one of your fondest memories? Making shadow puppets for my sister as we snuggled up in her bed when we were little

OKAY I’M DONE

[alwayslovinlou]

My boss yelled at me today, so I walked out.

I won’t disclose where I worked for fear of getting in trouble. Anyway, onto the whole ordeal.

I was working today (the 4th of July mind you) a mid shift. That being 11am-8pm. So I planned on leaving after my lunch that’s an hour long that I was taking at 5pm. Yesterday I left early, right after my lunch as well. (I worked a 1:30pm-10pm shift, I left at 8pm right after my 7pm lunch). My boss was working that night until 10pm as was another associate in my department. They both left early too. And the other associate that was working left right after his lunch, remember that!

Today I’m standing outside on the patio (as part of my work duties, I’m allowed to be on the patio) and she comes storming out and says the following in a very angry and loud way:

Her: “Lindsey, what time are you going to lunch?”

Me: “I was gonna go at 5”

Her: “Okay and what time are you leaving?”

Me: “Oh I was gonna leave at 6..”

Her: “No, you’re not allowed to take your lunch within the last hour that you’re leaving. If you don’t like it, talk to management about it because you’ll already be talking to them about leaving early.” and then walked off angry.

First I would like to mention: I was completely unaware we weren’t allowed to do that. I did it the night before and even a week ago. I was never informed that’s not allowed. The time I did it she was literally the one I informed I was leaving RIGHT AFTER MY LUNCH and she said “okay, feel better soon” AND NEVER ONCE TOLD ME IM NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT. LIKE THAT WOULD’VE BEEN THE PERFECT TIME TO LET ME KNOW ABOUT THIS POLICY!!! BUT SHE DIDN’T!

Second off: If she was upset about me leaving early the night before and making my department empty, I get that. Though she and the other associate I worked that shift with LEFT EARLY TOO. Again, I was completely unaware I’m not supposed to take my lunch within the hour before I leave. Her yelling at me was super unprofessional. I don’t care how upset you are, YOU DON’T YELL AT EMPLOYEES.

Another thing I’ll highlight is that I was responding very timidly as I could obviously see and hear that she was upset. There was not an OUNCE of sass or disagreement in the two sentences I responded to her with. The last thing she said made no sense, I never acted as if I had an issue with it because I didn’t know about this policy.

Lastly, I had already put in my two weeks last Tuesday (June 27th, 2023). I fully planned to work all my shifts even though I was fucked over on my scheduling (that’s why I was quitting). But her yelling at me like that? Highly unprofessional and highly underserved. I know for a fact she won’t yell at the other associate who left immediately after his lunch. But I got yelled at.

I did let a member of management know why I quit on the spot. I will be going back to speak to the store manager because that was just unacceptable. With someone else standing right next to me she yelled at me like that. Completely undeserved. We weren’t best friends or anything but we got along just fine. I was even helping solve an issue that morning that we got marked for on a walk through from corporate and she was needing to be fixed before they came back to check on it. I’m a nice person and generally in a happy mood. So I honestly can’t think of any reason that warranted her yelling at me at all. If she would’ve spoken to me about it in a calm manner, I would not have walked out. I don’t even care if she thought I knew what I was doing was wrong, you still don’t yell at people like that. I don’t wish her any bad in life, but again I will talk to the store manager because no one deserves to be treated like that.

The end! Thanks for reading!

[justthatgirlxox]

4th of July

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x Reader

Summary: the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else

Warnings: dirty talk, smut, p in the v, angsty I guess

‘Flight GBH145 to Dubai is leaving in 20 minutes’. I hear the woman on the intercom call my flight so I walk to my gate. This vacation is gonna be a needed one. After the break-up with my ex, I just need some peace and a lot of alcohol. My suitcase is checked in, the security check is done, now I only have to take this flight and forget about everything for a bit. I don’t like to fly, it gives me the feeling of losing control. And losing control is the last thing on my bucket list. But it’s all gonna be worth it when I’m dancing in the most exclusive clubs in Dubai.

This day couldn’t be worse. This kid won’t stop crying. Damn parents, what the fuck is going on. He has been crying the whole flight and it’s driving me crazy. The seatbelt light goes on and I know that we are about to land. “It’s time for landing. Our arrival time is on schedule. Thank you for flying with Singapore Airlines. Don’t forget your luggage and the team wishes you a happy 4th of July.” The captain speaks as if he is the happiest man on earth. It’s annoying me.

The hotel I’m staying at is beautiful. The staff is kind and they treat me like I’m famous or something. My room is all the way to the top, the view is breathtaking. The hotel even left a bottle of champagne on my bed. That’s freaking awesome. I open it and drink straight from the bottle. It’s great champagne, the taste is sweet but fresh at the same time. I unpack my suitcase and throw on my pajamas. First sleep, then clubbing.

My phone fibrates and I see my mom’s name pop up on my screen. I look at the time and it’s almost 2 in the night. I pick up the phone and my mom starts talking. “Hello, love. How is Dubai?” “Mom, it’s almost 2 in the night here. Time difference, remember?” “Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, I’m awake now. Dubai is great. How are you?” “I’m good. The cats say hi. They miss you. What have you been up to?” “I was sleeping. So, not much. I’m gonna go and explore tomorrow.” “Good idea. Send pictures. I’m gonna let you sleep now, I will talk to you tomorrow.” “Okay, mom. Bye, love you.” “Love you, bye.” I put my phone down and turn around. It doesn’t take me long before I fall asleep again.

The first day here, almost came to an end. I’ve been driving, quad biking through the desert and had a great dinner at this place close to the beach. Now I’m getting ready for my first night out here. I put on a red with silver glittery dress that ends just beneath my butt. It has just enough cleavage to flirt but not so much that I will be considered a slut. Put on my black high heels and curl my hair. My make-up is styled to the colors of my dress with silver eyes and red lipstick.

I walk into the club and there are already a lot of people here. The music is loud and it smells like alcohol. “Can I have a Tequila and a Bacardi, please?” I say to the bartender. He gives me my drinks a minute later and I drink the Tequila in one go. “Can you give me 2 Tequila?” A guy with a broken English accent says next to me. I turn to him and the first thing I see are his sky and ocean blue eyes. The bartender gives him the drinks and he shoves one over to me. “Looks like you need this.” He winks and I smile at him. “I really do.” We do the shot together and smile. “What is a beautiful girl like you doing here all alone?” “Escaping responsibilities.” He laughs and puts a hand on my thigh. I’m instantly feeling hot by the sudden touch of this handsome stranger. “I’m Pierre.” “I’m Y/N.” “Nice to meet you Y/N” He looks around and holds out a hand to me. “Can I take this dance?” I hesitate for a second but I finally answer “why not?”

We’ve been dancing for a while. Our body’s close to each other and our hands lingering for touch. “Wanna have another shot?” I’m pretty tipsy already but not enough yet. He’s been paying for my drinks all evening. I nod my head and he takes my hand to take me to the bar. We take the shot and almost directly after, He takes a step closer to me. His arm wraps around my waist and pulls me into him. I close my eyes and feel his lips touch mine. The taste of alcohol and regret is filling my mouth when I feel his tongue against my lips. “Can I take you to my hotel room?” He asks. I can’t speak so I just nod.

The door of the suite closes and he pushes me against the door, to kiss me some more. He pulls me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me through the room and drops me on the silk bedding. He takes off his shirt and I can’t do anything else but admire the view. This man is absolutely gorgeous. He climbs on top of me while his hand goes to the zipper of my dress. It falls down and shows my lacy black bra. I throw it through the room. He goes up a little and scans my body from head to toe. “You are gorgeous.” I cup his face and pull his face into mine. While kissing, my hands grab down, to his belt. I open it swiftly and unbutton the pants. He pulls his pants down and drops it on the floor. I turned him on pretty well. Atleast, when I need to believe the bulge in his boxer shorts. His lips go to my neck and leave little love bites. It’s loving and rough at the same time. I love it. I pull down his boxers and pull my blacy lacy thong to the side, pull him closer with my legs around his waist. He lines up with my opening and thrusts in. A loud moan leaves my mouth when he starts moving faster. I press my nails into the skin of his back while he bites my neck softly. After some time, I feel I’m getting closer to my high. He does to. “Pierre, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” His mouth moves to my ear when he whispers “cum, baby.” This sends me over the edge. He thrusts a few more times to let me ride out my high, when he comes to.

He gets up from the bed and walks to the bathroom, comes back with a wet cloth. He cleans me up and gives me the T-shirt he was wearing before. “Stay?” He asks when he lays down on the bed, next to me. I nod my head and lay my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and whispers “I can’t believe I found you.”

[puppypeter]

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Taxi | 5113 words 🚕

Bucky Barnes was, he hoped, a good taxi driver.

He's so good, he actually tries to return lost property that ends up left in his car and... well. It has some unexpected consequences involving a National Icon.

Enough said.

Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on��� again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[alisaspages]

Threes a crowd.

Chapter 1

(Born 1984 Tony was 16 when you were born. In 2012 you’re 26 Nat is 27)

I spent years pining over Captain America. Literal years. I was nine when I first heard of him. The guy that saved his country. I was pining over an old man. I saw him on my MySpace, my friends posting for his birthday. Or better known as the 4th of July.

“Who’s the pretty boy on your page Eloise?”

“You don’t know? That’s Captain America! Steve Rogers. I figured your dad might tell you.”

“No. He doesn’t know I exist half the time.”

“Ask him, maybe you can write an article about Steve for the school news paper. You still have two days.”

“But only high schoolers and middle schoolers are aloud to write.”

“Screw rules. Just tell your dad. He’ll tell them. And plus you’re a great writer.”

They published the article. I’d never been so happy. As a matter of fact my dad had it published to every newspaper in America.

Now I’m 22 and my best friends Natasha and Lilith are telling me how my crush has come back from the dead. “He was never dead.” Natasha pointed out. “Might as well be- Can we wander S.H.I.E.L.D.? I wanna see him up close.” She snickered at Lilith’s words. “Yeah but your dad might lose his shit. I heard his dad was obsessed with Cap, he’d be depressed if you were too.” I giggled as we walked to the coumpound from my apartment to visit my dad. “I can’t wait to meet him.” I muttered. We went in and pushed past all the irratating people at the tower. 

“Excuse me!” A voice called out. It was loud and angry and certainly not my dad’s voice. “Sorry Nick.” Natasha called. We ran and caught the elevator going to see my dad. We hadn’t spoken in a while. At least not since I announced I was a writer. My dad was upset. He’d wanted me to be like him, and carry on his legacy. I wrote books, I wrote for news papers, magazines and it was good money. Not like my dads of course, but it paid the bills and it did the job and that was all I needed and he didn’t get that. But he supported it anyway. 

Natasha sensed my unsettled nerves and held my hand tightly. The thing about Natasha is when we met I was straighter than a metal pole, and I think she’s bent it. It’s squiggly and can’t be bent back. I tell her everything, even the darker things about me and she tells me she doesn’t care how fucked up I am. She treats me better than I deserve and she’s so harsh on herself. Sometimes I want to cup her face and pepper it with kisses till she feels like enough.

We got off the elevator and I dropped her hand going over and hugging my dad tightly. “Hi dad. What’s up.” He didn’t want out of the hug so when I tried to pull away he only held on tighter. “How you doin’ monkey?” I shrugged and he let go placing a kiss on my right cheek. “My boss is kicking my ass. I wish I had any other job. Like taking your kick ass stories and turning them into comics.” Everyone stopped in there tracks. “Actually, kiddo that’s not a bad idea. Write the comics, I’ll hire someone to do illistrations and, because you’re the best person ever you’ll handle the reports for fury while you’re here?” I chuckled a little but nodded. “I was thinking dad and-” The elevator opened and Fury came in. “Stark we have to go. Now.”

I stood with Nat a little frustrated I hadn’t seen him yet. “He’s coming will you relax?” I giggled nervously and she held my hand rubbing the back of it with her thumb. “You’ll trigger your anxiety. Calm down.” I took a few deep breaths and another one of the tiny airplanes landed. The door swung open and out he walked, prettier than ever. His skin glowed in the light, his hair even brighter, for an old man he was damn fine no doubt in my pretty mind. Natasha walked over, me following quick behind. “Hi there, agent Romanoff, nice to finally meet you captain.” He smiled warmly and I blushed melting a little at the sight of both my crushes less than a foot away from me. “And you are?” He asked, his eyes flickering to mine. “Uh me? Hi yeah- I’m uh-” I let out a yelp as I tripped on Nat. “I’m okay.” Natasha helped me up “This is Y/N Stark. She’s clumsy. Coulson take her inside before she falls in the water.” I shook my head swiftly “If you hold my hand I can’t fall. Right Steve?” Phil sighed and held my hand. “Dude-” He let go and I stood between Natasha and Steve, Steve intertwining our pinkies. I was holding back the loud scream I was desperate to let out. We went around talking to Banner and I looked at Nat. “He’s pretty.” I muttered 

“Sh”

“I wanna hug him”

“Shh”

“He intertwined our pinkies”

“Shhh”

“You look pretty today”

“Thanks. and by the way, as fond as I am of the new leather skirt and the new blouse, you may wanna step inside or you’ll freeze”

“Yeah but if I’m cold one of you will give me your jackets.”

She chuckled and I stuck to her side as she spoke to the boys “Gentlemen, you may wanna step inside a minute, it’s gonna get a little hard to breathe.” Both men stepped to the edge to watch “is this a submarine?” Steve asked, but after that I couldn’t hear them. I went inside holding Natasha’s hand. I stopped when Steve did and let Natasha go. “It’s a lot right? All this technology and feeling like you don’t belong.” He looked down at me and nodded a little. “You don’t feel like you belong either? You’re a Stark? Is that even possible?” He asked. I shrugged. “Both dad and grandpa wished I was more of a science kid, but even when I was four-” He smiled a little at the mention of my young age. “All I’m sayin’ cap, you belong here, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have even been invited by the head of shield.” I walked off to find my dad leaving him to ponder his thoughts. But I still wanted to scream.

after around 10 minutes Fury called for me. “Can you fly jets and helicopters?” I nodded “Once I read the manual on my dads deslk and-” He cut me off. “Good. Go help Rogers, and Romanoff.” I ran over to Natasha and she gave me and ear piece and a gun. “I’ve talked to Fury. From here on out you’ll be training to work for shield.” My jaw dropped. “What but- I didn’t- what?!” She sighed loudly. “Listen to me. Fury asked me to convince you to join the team. You have talent and I’m not about to let you waste it all on comic books.” Natasha was right. I was really good when it came to swords and guns. but I never imagined making a life out of it. “Lets go.” She said pulling me out and to the jet.

=======

I was flying the jet when I heard my dad, “Kiddo! Romanoff! Miss me?” I groaned as he started playing loud music. “Dad! Can you help Steve he’s getting his ass kicked!” Steve scoffed and my dad flew down. “His name is captain.” He sputtered. When they got on the ship Steve glared at me “I wasn’t getting my ass kicked.” I pretended to agree and Nat looked at me with soft eyes. “You’ve calmed down?” I shrugged a little. “I’m putty but it’s easy if you remember were just a couple of animals looking to survive.” She nodded and started talking to Fury. Me, drowning out the voices such as my dad and Steve.

==========

I walked into the room and saw what my dad and Banner were looking at. “I thought you were supposed to be finding the tesseract not creating guns with it?” I called. He scoffed “It’s Fury. His new shiny toy.” Fury stormed in. “You’re supposed be finding the tesseract.” Phase 2 popped up on the screen and I turned to him. “What the fuck is phase two?” Steve waltzed in  plopping a gun on the table closest to him. “It’s S.H.I.E.L.D using the cube for guns. Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.” Thor came in with Nat and I shot a deep glare at Fury. “This is your worst idea yet and you are trying to put my dad with a team.” He exhaled angrily. “You may wanna think about removing yourself from this enviroment? Loki is manipulating you.” Banner scoffed backing up. “And you aren’t?” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sorry, are we ignoring the fact that Fury is making weapons deadly enough to kill all of us in one shot?”

“it’s because of Loki. And Thor. They have very well proved that we aren’t alone and we’re hilariously out-gunned.” My dad chuckled but kept his face straight “Yeah and Nuclear guns are the perfect way to settle that?” Steve stepped forwards “Need I remember what you were making before-” I turned to him. “That was years ago. He’s different.” I pointed out. “My people want nothing but peace with your planet!” I scoffed and Fury pointed out, “Yes but you’re not the only people out there are you?” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you think If they wanted to attack they would?” I asked My eyes flickered to Natasha who answered with “Yes! Hence Loki’s sweet visit!” She was clrearly aggitated and so were the rest of us. “Need I remind you shield monitors potential threats!” I scoffed and Banner replied to her with “And captain america is on threat watch?” “We all are” She said loosing her cool. “Stark if you make one more wisecrack I swear-” i heard. I stepped between the two men and ducked smacking their heads together. “Threaten each other again and I’ll punch both your noses in.” My dad pushed me back and I gasped. “Oh no you didn’t.” Steve sent a chilling glare at him. “You shouldn’t shove women. Put on the suit let’s go a few rounds.” My dads eyes darkened and my eyes widened “She’s my kid. She knows I mean well, the question is, do you?”

“Romanoff take Banner back to his-” He growled a little “What my room? I can’t you rented it out all ready.” I rolled my eyes and Fury answered “No the cell was incase-” Banner cut him off “incase you needed to kill me but you can’t I already tried.” We were silenced and concerned “I got low and I didn’t see an end. So I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out.” We were interupted by a beeping sound and Banner stalked off. My mind started going a mile a minute. Jesus Christ. “Hey! Shut up a minute.” Nat called she held my hand and looked into my eyes. “Take a deep breath. Suit up. I left your suit where mine was. It’s leather and gorgeous, put it on and grab the swords I had Fury buy you. Quick.” 

I nodded and sped out of the room. I put my suit on and grabbed my swords as part of the ship blew up. “Someone babysit Loki!” Fury called. I ran to go to his cage and Thor was there. As if they’d traded places, Coulson on the floor. “Bye brother.” The cage fell and I groaned attempting to choke Loki out. He knocked me on the floor and I pulled my swords out. He was given his scepter and I fought off both the irritating men. “Jesus Christ could this Loki guy get any more annoying?” I asked. “Probably, “ Natasha replied through the ear piece. “Coulson is down. And I need some help.” I stabbed the guy I hadn’t known then turned to fight Loki was suddenly gone. “God damnit!” I shouted. as the fight ended I went and sat at the table between my dad and Steve. 

“I’m gonna kill that fucking bi-” “do you ever not swear?” My dad asked. ���You better be joking because I swear to god if you’re worrying about my language-” I got up and walked away.

===========

once the fight was over and we were saying out goodbyes I hugged my dad tightly. “I’ll miss you dad.” He kissed my cheek and I tore myself out of the hug. I turned and Bruce waved a little. I waved back and hugged Clint. “I’ll miss you arrow boy.” He snickered and pulled out of the hug, shoving me. I hugged Nat tightly, not wanting to let go. I stopped taking in her scent. She smelt of paint and new shampoo, probably from the debris, then the attempt to get the smell of debris out her hair. “Natasha come see me next week. I wanna hang for a bit.” she nodded and I let go. I heard my dad whisper, “They act as if they don’t hang out everyday.” When I walked back over he snickered and I smacked him in the back of his head. Once everyone had gone I looked at Steve in his deep blue eyes. The first real conversation between us. “Can I-” “Can you-” We both started at the same time and I giggled. “Can you give me a ride to my apartment? If id asked the others my dad would have come up with every reason for me to go back with him and the others would have said no.” His grin reached his ears. “Yeah definetly- Do you mind if we go get some lunch first? I’m starving” I nodded blushing a little and getting on his bike holding onto him. This would be far too exciting...

[avintagekiss24]

waiting on you > steve rogers

|| pairing: steve rogers x black!reader

|| word count: 3,608

|| warnings: smut, sex, angst, sad steve, sad reader, friends to lovers

|| square filled: @star-spangled-bingo​ SSB2020 N4: love confessions

|| note: here it is! 24hrs late BUT, technically, you can celebrate a birthday for like an entire week. this got stupid sad because i was listening to the atonement soundtrack again. anyway, happy birthday to this big, blonde, dummy - the only reason that july 4th means anything to me anymore. i went heavy with the italics again.

divider by @writeyourmindaway​

gifs (at the bottom) by @/largoaneditt

You don’t know why this idiot makes you so nervous. He’s a big, blonde… idiot, but yet here you are, nursing your third beer, staring at him from the corner of the room as he wiggles his hips - rather suggestively. He stands next to Sam, both of them facing the opposite wall, beers in hand, shaking their asses as the rest of the party goers hoot and holler.

“I don’t know Rogers,” Bucky says, shaking his head, “I think your age is finally catching up with your ass.”

“Bullshit,” Steve laughs, “Listen, I happily turn over my shield and suit to you, Sam, but that is my moniker! Look at it!” He shouts, pointing to his ass, “This will always be America’s ass!”

The room erupts in laughter and you can’t help but chuckle yourself. Idiots. All of them. He looks good tonight though - relaxed, finally. You’ve known them all for just a little while, Wanda, Steve, Sam, Bucky, but since Steve has officially decided to retire, he’s like a completely different person. He’s Steve - not Captain America. Which has actually proven to be an absolute nightmare for you because if you thought you had a crush on Captain America... whew, be still your beating vagina.

Steve is funny. Steve is confident, and laid back, and wears fitted chinos with Vans Classic Slip Ons. You have Sam to thank for this updated style of Steve’s, and you honestly want to stab Sam right through his buff chest. He’s made it impossible for you to be around Steve without having to change your underwear - a fact that Sam finds hilarious, but your wallet does not.

But, it’s more than that. Steve is also warm. He’s attentive to his friends. He listens. He cares. Steve goes out of his way to make people feel welcome, even you, the first night you wandered back to Sam and Bucky’s apartment with Wanda for one of their parties. You never left Wanda’s side, keeping your head down, your eyes cast at your hands and feet. He picked up on your nervousness quickly, but didn’t outwardly address it. He just made sure you always had a drink in your hand, a chip or sandwich to nibble on - he even adjusted the thermostat when he noticed you running your hands up and down your arms. 

Steve is easy to talk to. Steve is humble, reliable, dependable, strong - both physically and mentally - but he’s also... emotional and vulnerable - not just sometimes, but almost all the time. Then, he can turn right around and throw somebody through a wall. Steven Grant Rogers is dangerous… and you think you lov -  

You take a sip of your beer, closing your eyes quickly to chase those thoughts away, and reach for another chip, loading it up with some of Wanda’s famous dip before you shove it into your mouth, the taste calms your nerves. 

“Why are you hiding over here?”

His voice makes you jump. You pop open your eyes and inhale sharply as the one and only Steve Rogers towers over you. He smiles softly as you blink at him, before he reaches for a chip and pops it into his mouth.

“I’m not hiding,” you answer quickly, scrunching your face, “I’m eating, there’s nothing wrong with eating.”

“You’re quiet tonight.” He says, chewing slowly as he shoves his hand into his pocket and narrows his eyes at you, “You okay?”

You scoff, and roll your eyes to try and pretend that you have no idea what he’s talking about, “I’m fine, Rogers.”

“Are you sure?”

“Stop,” you laugh, raising your hand, “I’m fine.”

He shrugs, one of those I know you’re not okay, but I’m gonna drop it shrugs, and takes another long swig of his beer, “You know,” he starts, nodding slowly, “You still haven’t wished me a happy birthday. That’s kinda rude.”

“Well,” you laugh, “Don’t hold your breath. You’ve had your fair share of birthday wishes over the last, you know, one hundred and two years.”

He shakes his head, smiling at your sarcasm. You wiggle your eyebrows and push your chin forward a little, slightly proud of your attitude and your way of not falling into a giggly, stupid mess in front of him. Then, suddenly, there’s a… shift. All of the false confidence you had just seconds before floods out of you as his eyes drift down your body, before snapping back up to your wide eyes. He tilts his head and that soft smile appears again.

You’re not drunk enough for this. You lift your beer to your lips and focus on finishing it as quickly as possible as you glance away from him and focus on something, anything else in the room. You immediately grab another green glass bottle from the ice bucket, handing it to him for him to pop off the cap. You hear him chuckle, and then feel his large hand wrapping around your wrist before you're being pulled through the apartment. 

“Excuse me,” you laugh a little, having to nearly jog to keep up with his long strides, “Sir, this is kidnapping.”

You let him pull you out of the apartment and up a few flights of stairs before you burst out onto the roof. He pulls you to the edge of the building, dropping your arm so he can rest his hands against the ledge. You cut your eyes towards him as you grip your beer bottle in your hands. He gazes out over the city, the lights from the buildings and the stars lighting up his eyes. His expression is soft as no doubt hundreds of memories flash through his head.

“It’s nice up here, huh?” He says after a minute.

“It is.” You nod, casting your eyes out over the illuminated city,  “I’m kind of mad you’ve been hiding this from me.”

“You’ve been hiding from me.” Your mouth drops at the sudden admission. He turns his head towards you, blinking, “You’re always hiding from me.”

“I don’t,” you start, shaking your head as you swallow hard. You laugh nervously and try to play it off, “What are you talking about, Rogers? You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.” He shrugs, “I can’t - I haven’t been drunk since 1939. I just, I like you and, I don’t know,” he trails off, turning away from you to look back out over the city, “You just are always so distant when you’re around me.”

You stare at the side of his face, your eyes wide, your mouth literally hanging open. You grip the glass bottle in both of your hands as your mind recaps the words that have just left his mouth. I like you. You’re always hiding from me. 

“I think you like to hide though,” he says, taking your beer from your hands and taking a swig, “It’s like a mechanism, or something. That’s what my therapist told me that I do, so, I guess I can kinda see it in other people now.”

“Therapist?” you ask, your voice soft.

He nods, still looking out over the city, “Mmhmm, at Bucky’s persistence. It’s nice to hide though, right? Like, you can be here but not here at the same time? Present, but not present.” He clears his throat, dropping his head, “You can feel but not feel.”

Your eyes drift away from him slowly, knowing exactly what he’s talking about - feeling exactly what he’s feeling. It is nice to hide. You’ve done it your whole life, but seemingly more over the past few years, “Yeah,” you finally offer, “It is.”

The air is warm as it whips around you on this July night. Brooklyn is as alive as ever - cars honking, people laughing and chatting on the streets below, planes flying over head. You swallow again as you cast your eyes down to your feet, his words still running on a loop through your head. I like you. You’re always hiding from me. 

“I do like you, I mean that. I do.” You snap your eyes back up to the side of his face as he keeps his head down, “I remember the first time you came over with Wanda.” He turns towards you and smiles, “You had on that flowery thing, I don’t know what it’s called.”

That night flashes before your eyes. Apparently he’s been staring at you from the corner of the room too,  “A romper. I love that thing.”

“Yeah,” he nods slowly, “You looked amazing.”

“Steve, is everything okay?” You ask suddenly, because, clearly, he’s not okay.

He nods again, smiles again, “Yeah. Are you okay?”

You laugh out of… you’re not really sure. Surprise? Nerves? Confusion? Or maybe, just the fact that you’re realizing that he’s not okay and you’re not okay -  and the two of you are desperately trying to prove that you are okay, but at the same time trying to deal with the fact that you’re not okay.

“Yeah,” you titter softly, “I’m okay.”

“Good.” He says, taking another drink of your beer, “I’m gonna get more. I’ll be back.”

Without another word to you, he moves away from the ledge and disappears behind the heavy metal door. You let out a breath that you weren’t aware you were holding and turn to face the cityscape. It is nice out here. Calming. 

Your heart sinks a little when you start to think about Steve wasting hour after hour, day after day, up here, all by himself, trying to deal with just living. He’s been Captain America for damn near eighty years - now he’s just Steve, but in 2020 - not 1939. He doesn’t know this Steve.

You’re always hiding from me. 

You turn away from the city, spotting an old, lumpy couch tucked in the corner of the roof. You move towards it slowly, rubbing your fingers against your pant leg as you move. You plop down and stare at your fingers as you start to rub them roughly. I like you. Fuck. That’s all you’ve wanted to hear, right? Since the day you laid eyes on him, like every other woman across the United States. It’s here, right in front of you and - 

The door opens, the metal creaking as Steve steps through it. It slams shut and you jump a little from the jarring sound. He turns to you, but dips his head, keeping his eyes low as he steps towards you and then falls onto the couch beside you. He hands you a beer and clinks the necks together before he takes a drink. You follow suit, swallowing the golden liquid slowly as you keep your eyes on him. 

“I’m sorry for being so blunt,” he laughs, spinning the dark green glass in his hands, “I don’t want you to be put off or anything. I’m not trying to make a move on you, I’m just-” he drops his head again, “It’s been weird for me, lately.”

“Don’t be sorry. Turning a hundred and two would be weird for anyone.” You laugh. 

“Bucky seems to be doing okay.” He smiles, keeping his eyes on his beer, “I’m happy for him, I really am. He and Sam are just so good together.”

“They are,” you smile, “But you feel stuck, right? Like everybody is moving and you’re just standing still.”

He nods slowly as he chews on the inside of his cheek, his fingers picking at the label glued onto the glass bottle, “I still want us to be friends, okay?” He picks his head up and turns to you, his eyes as blue as ever, but just a little sad and worried, “Just… forget about what I said earlier. I shouldn’t have put that on you.”

You sit your bottle between your legs and tap your manicured fingers against it as another silence drops over the two of you, “I don’t mean to hide,” you say quietly, ignoring his comment to just forget it, “You’re right, I do like to, but I don’t mean to. Not from you, anyway.”

You feel his eyes on you, wandering around before he speaks, “Why not from me?”

You laugh, sadly, “I um, I was married a few years ago. He um, he,” the emotion clogs up your throat. Fuck, it’s been two years and you still can’t talk about him. You shake your head, keeping your eyes on your hands, “I haven’t felt this way in a long time.” You whisper, “I don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time, it’s just, whenever I’m around you… it just scares me, I guess.” 

You see a shadow of his long arm reaching for you. Then, the rather soft tips of his fingers trace your chin before he lifts it slowly, so he can look at you - really look at you. You close your eyes before the two of you can make eye contact and smile nervously as a tear slips from the corner of your eye. He hums to himself as the backs of his fingers sweep across your cheek, removing the tear, before they move back down to cup your chin. 

“Open your eyes.”

You laugh, a sad smile on your face, “I can’t.”

“You can.” He presses, “Open your eyes, please.”

You take a breath, pressing your lips together as your eyes start to flutter. You blink furiously, but focus in on him - his face, his eyes - and then exhale deeply. You’ve been waiting to exhale for two long years. He closes the distance between the two of you before you can process it, and his lips are suddenly on yours. Soft. Warm. Still. His hands cup your face as you rest yours on his broad shoulders, gripping slightly. 

He pulls away but barely, still so close that his lips rest on yours. You open your eyes again to find his closed, his long dark eyelashes splashing against his smooth skin. He takes slow, deliberate breaths, the air from him washing over your face. You lift your hands, slowly, and place them on either side of his face, a small smile curling onto your lips. You press your mouth to his again. A little harder than the first time; and Steve responds a little harder this time. 

The kiss doesn’t dissolve into desperation, regardless of if the two of you feel desperate -  going untouched for so long. It stays sweet. It stays gentle, the kiss. You’re pulled into his lap, straddling his legs with yours, and it feels like you belong here. His tongue pushes, softly, asking permission by sweeping across your bottom lip. You grant it, the permission he asks for, without hesitation. 

You moan at the warmth of his velvety tongue. It spreads through you quickly, warming parts of you that you thought were long dead. His tongue slides along yours as he holds you to him, pressing his fingers into your thin t-shirt and back, pulling you close. So close. He licks at the roof of your mouth before he pulls your top lip between his, sucking gently. It makes you moan again. 

Steve kisses down your chin and throat,  working his way to the crook of your neck as he continues to hold you so tight. He nips at your skin, finding that little spot that sends a direct bolt of lightning to your core. You throw your head back, biting down into your bottom lip as you dig your fingers into his shoulders.  Your hips start to push into his as his warm fingers move underneath your shirt to feel your flesh for the first time. 

Your mouth open falls as you start to pant. Now that his fingers are on your skin - that whole desperation thing starts to kick up. He pushes your shirt up, up over your breasts and then just stops there, staring up at you with those eyes. His thumbs rub your sides as he holds them. He pushes in again, and presses his lips to the center of your chest, right in the valley between your breasts and then just rests there; breathing you in, feeling you. You smile, and run your fingers over the top of his head and through his hair before you rest your chin on his head. 

His fingers start to roam again, slipping along the band of your jeans. You bite your lip as you push your hips forward; ready. The button on your jeans pops, the zipper rolls down and you're on your back, Steve’s weight now pushing you into the cushions. Your legs are suddenly bare - you feel the warm air brushing along your skin. His lips are back on your neck as you wrap your arms around him, spreading your legs for him to settle in between. 

He fumbles around, pulling himself free, pushing your thin panties to the side. You’re nervous, he’s nervous - you can feel him shaking, but just a little. Then you both gasp as you're suddenly full of him and he’s encased by you. You groan, and so does he. His breath washes over your face as you both get used to the feeling again. 

He braids his fingers with yours and pushes them up over your head as he kisses you deeply. He starts to move - his hips pushing into yours, and then pulling away. You start to pant as his strokes get deeper - harder - as he breathes directly into your mouth. It’s sweet, his breath, even as it’s laced with alcohol. 

God, he’s such a soft lover. His hands, his lips, his thrusts, all just so soft. Passionate. Caring. He hovers over you, his eyes closed as he leans in to kiss you gently, his lips barely touching yours. You cup his cheek in your hand as his lips brush along yours, both of you breathing each other's air as his hips tenderly push into yours. He drops his lips to your throat again, kissing the base of your neck before he runs the tip of his nose up your chin - a small, barely there smile on his face. 

You kiss him hard, only breaking it to hiss. Your toes curl as the familiar pull in your stomach starts to build. Steve nuzzles into your neck, keeping his fingers laced with yours as his hips continue to grind. Your and his sounds mix and mingle before they are carried away by the soft breeze. Your heart starts to beat hard against your chest, your blood rushes as your body starts to tighten. 

He lifts your leg, hiking it over his hip but holds his hand there, gripping and groping your flesh softly as his thrusts now reach deeper. You gasp, gripping his biceps, your fingers pushing indents into his skin as your sex quivers from the attention. You bite down into your bottom lip, whimpering just a little as a dull pain ripples through you as you stretch to accommodate him - it’s been too long and he’s, more, than you expected. 

“Y’okay?” He slurs, his forehead resting against yours, his lips brushing against your cheek, “Baby, you-”

“Fine,” you breathe, “I’m fine- ah! -” you hiss as he hits that spot, “S’good, Steve. Don’stop… please.”

And then it blooms. It starts slow, at the tips of your toes before it floods throughout every inch of your body. You dig your fingers into his hands as you come, your hips bucking, your pants and cries loud and thick. He only lasts seconds longer, before his hips hitch and the growls scratch at the back of his throat. 

The calm is beautiful afterward. It’s not awkward or strained. You’re just two people trying to be okay, trying to reach out, trying to heal and move forward - trying to deal with the feelings swirling around in your chests and minds. There’s a blanket thrown over the back of the couch - he tugs it over the two of you, covering you from the elements and any prying eyes if they happen up onto the roof. 

You jump when the first firework explodes in the air. He chuckles and pulls you into his side, kissing your face as he drags his fingers, over your collar bones. Another firework goes off, and then another, and another, bringing you both back into the present. No more hiding. 

“I think I love you,” he whispers, watching the fireworks through your fingers as he lifts your hand into the air, “Is that weird?”

“Shit,” you laugh, curling your fingers between his, “I hope not, cuz I think I love you.”

Another firework pops in the air - red, white, and blue splashing against the dark sky. But all you can see are your hands, your small fingers laced with his long ones, twisting and curling around one another. He flattens his palm to yours before he brings it down to his lips, giving each finger a kiss before he lays a gentle one on the back of your hand. 

“You still haven’t wished me a happy birthday.”

You laugh loudly, pushing his shoulder, “And I’m still not gonna!”

“Why not?” he asks, laughing, picking your hands up again to watch your fingers dance with one another's, “That’s mean.”

“I’m a Taurus.”

Steve’s laugh makes you smile - yet another thing to add to the list of why you love this big idiot of a man. 

“That’s okay,” he whispers, pushing his nose into the side of your face as he nuzzles close, “You’ve got every year of the rest of your life to wish me a happy birthday.”

You don’t answer. You just smile harder and roll your face towards his, rubbing your nose along his. 

Steve Rogers is also a dreamer - how lovely. 

[ivysimagines]

sparklers and kisses - jj maybank

hey babes. 

so, here's the first scenario/imagine. 

this is my favorite bedtime scenario tbh HAHAH. 

also, i don't like fourth of july.

it's a stupid holiday created for the "founding fathers" (spoiler alert: they didn't find shit). 

i'm simply using it for the setting since new year's would be way too cold in north carolina.

anyways, onto the scenario!!

(TW: teen drinking, talk about an abusive father, talk about drugs, and a happy couple </33)

Pronouns/terms used: fem terms used.

fem clothing. 

FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. 

-

(thoughts will be in italics and bold)

It's Fourth of July. 

For some that means fireworks, grilling, spending time with family, and playing games. 

However, for me and my friends Fourth of July means getting shitfaced drunk, the wildest kegger of the year, and (hopefully) getting laid.

I'm sitting on my bathroom counter with my legs crossed and getting ready.

I hear my phone vibrate on my dresser in my bedroom. 

I get up off of the bathroom counter and walk out. 

I grab my phone, nearly dropping it. 

I click on the text and smile whenever I read it, it's from JJ.

'hey loser, you ready for tn?’

I quickly responded with ‘yessss :)’ and opened Spotify.

I clicked on my favorite playlist titled ‘getting ready and feeling hot asf’.

Thanks Kiara for the name idea. 

My phone automatically connected to my speakers and ‘More than a Woman’ started playing. 

I went back to my bathroom counter and got on top. 

I continued doing my mascara.

*a few minutes have passed*

I hop off of my bathroom counter quickly and walk into my bedroom. 

I take off my black sweats, wife beater, and underwear and throw them into my dirty clothes hamper.

I put on my bright blue bathing suit bottoms and a white bikini top. 

I walk over to my body mirror and check myself out. 

I smile and slightly giggle.

God motherfucking damn I’m hot. 

JJ is lucky as hell. 

I put on some old light-washed jean shorts then one of JJ’s red sleeveless t-shirts.

I put on my beach sandals that show the fresh white nail polish on my toes.

(A.N. i hate the word toes. It’s so gross HAHAH)

Thank god I painted my nails last night.

I walk over to my desk chair and pull my tote bag off the chair. 

I throw some Sun Bum sunscreen (both facial and body ofc), some pink tinted chapstick, my sunglasses, a camera, a white hair clip, my wallet with some cash, and an old empty Altoids container filled with blunts i rolled last night and my orange lighter. 

I prefer getting high ovcr vaping. 

If I’m gonna ruin my lungs why not make it fun?

(A.N. i’m not shaming anyone who gets high/vapes. I do both and that is just something i say often that i think is funny). 

I grab my phone and turn off my music. 

I slide my phone in my back pocket then quickly change out some of my jewelry so it matches my outfit. 

I grab my tote bag and put it on my elbow. 

I spray some of my body spray on me and the tote bag. 

I run my fingers through my hair and give myself one last look in the mirror. 

I smile as my hair settles on my shoulders. 

I grab my car keys off my ring holder and head out of my bedroom.

I run down the stairs and say goodbye to my dad who is sitting on the couch and watching baseball. 

*fast forward 12 minutes*

I park in front of John B’s house. 

I pull my key out of the ignition and get out. 

I lock my car and start walking to the porch.

“JBBBB!” I yell as I walk up. 

JB’s the nickname I gave John B when we were in 4th grade. 

He only lets me call him JB and hates it when the guys do. 

(A.N. pretend pope doesn’t call him JB LMAOOO)

“Kitchen!” he yells. 

I walk through the porch and into his house. 

“You have got to clean this house. It looks like a pig sty in here” 

“I’ll.. get to it”

“I will literally help you for free. That’s how shitty this place looks, JB”

He rolls his eyes and continues putting beers in the red cooler with ice. 

“Can you actually do something useful and put beers in the other cooler” 

I smile at him and nod. I grab a pack of beers from the counter and open it. 

I throw them into the cooler. 

“Easy, easyyyy” 

I inhale deeply and begin placing them softly in the cooler.

“Better, dickhead?” 

“Yes, thank you”

*a few minutes pass and the four coolers are all filled*

“Okay, so. We just need to put these in the van, get the kegs, and take them to the Boneyard. Gavin said he would bring the fireworks and everything like that. I assume weed and shit will magically appear as people arrive”

I laugh a little.

“How about we put the coolers in your van and the kegs in my car?” 

He places his hands on his hips and nods. 

“The speakers, cups, keg pump, and whatever the fuck else we need” 

I nod and look at the time on my phone. 

“It’s 7:30. We’ve got about 50 minutes before the sun starts setting. We should probably head there before it gets dark.” 

He nods and we grab the coolers. 

We walk to his van and put them inside. 

“We also need to pick up Pope and JJ. I only have one seat so I’ll get Pope, you can get JJ?” 

I nod and we continue putting the coolers and kegs in our cars. 

*a few minutes pass*

I lean against my car and John B walks over. 

“Alrighty, ready?”

I nod and check the time. 

7:50. 

Damn time flies. 

“Do you need to lock the house or anything?” 

“Nah, i don’t have anything a robber would want”

We both laugh. 

He opens one of the coolers and pulls out two cans of beer.

“Want one?” 

I shrug and smile. 

“Why not” 

He throws one to me lightly and I catch it. 

I open the beer and take a sip.

The bland taste fills my mouth. 

I hate the taste of beer. 

Always have.

I only drink it if there’s no other option. 

“So, i’ll get Pope, you get JJ, and we’ll meet at the Boneyard to start setting up?” 

I nod and he pulls out his keys. 

“Alrighty, cya” 

I wave with two fingers and turn around. 

(A.N. pls say yk what i mean)

I hop in my car and put my beer in the cup holder. 

I pull out before John B and head to JJ’s house. 

His dad has been oddly calm these past few days.

We both know he’s gonna blow up soon. 

Unfortunately we don’t know when exactly that’s gonna be. 

I drink my beer and drive to JJ’s. 

*5 minutes pass*

I pull up and see JJ working on something outside. 

He hears my car and looks over. 

He notices it’s me and smiles. 

I roll down my window and look at him.

“Hey there, stranger!” i yell. 

He walks over with one of the biggest smiles i’ve seen. 

I smile at him.

He comes up to my car and looks at me. 

“Ready to party?” i ask him.

“Hell yea” he says. 

I smile and he kisses me. 

I bite my lip a little. 

“You all ready to go?” 

He looks around and checks his pockets. 

He nods and walks around my car. 

He opens the door and hops in. 

I turn to him and he kisses me again. 

“Hey there!” someone yells. 

We both turn and look out my window. 

Mr. Maybank is walking up with a beer in his hand.

“Hi, Mr. Maybank” i say in a sweet voice. 

“Where you kids going so late?” 

“Oh, just to hang out at John B’s”

He nods. 

“Alrighty, you look nice Y/N” 

I shudder a little. 

I hate this motherfucker so much.

“Thank you, Mr. Maybank” 

“We better get going. John B will be pissed if we miss the first half of the movie” JJ says in attempt to get us out of this.

“Alrighty, you two have fun..but not too much fun”

Asshole.

Why tf do adults always make sexual comments about teenagers relationships?

I nod and smile. 

He walks away and I pull out of the driveway. 

It’s quiet for the first few minutes. 

The only noise is the radio. 

“I’m sorry..about him” 

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault”

He sighs. 

“It’s been..nice lately. I was gonna say something but I didn’t wanna ruin that”

“Love, it’s okay. I understand”

He takes my hand and rubs the top of my hand with his thumb. 

*a few minutes later*

We finally arrived at the Boneyard. 

JB and Pope were already there and getting set up. 

The drive was awkward. 

Everytime I tried to talk to him about his dad he would just shut it down by asking a stupid question like, “do you have the keg pump?” 

Like, of course I do JJ.

JB and I aren’t fucking stupid. 

(A.N. ehhh John B is kinda stupid tbh)

We get out of my car and start unloading everything. 

*it’s now 9:30 and fireworks are starting to go off*

“Y/N/N, I put pink whitney and some white claws in a cooler that’s in my van for you. It’s unlocked if you want them” John B whispers to me. 

I smile and nod.

That’s actually kind of sweet. 

I walk to the van and grab out a white claw. 

I walk back over to John B and Pope. 

“I wish Kie were here” Pope says.

“For the love of god just ask her out” i say. 

He rolls his eyes at me.

(A.N. Kie is at a Kook party her parents made her go to)

JJ walks up to me with a sparkler that’s lit. 

Oh fucking hell. 

He knows i’m scared of those.

“JJ..” i say. 

He smiles at me as he walks closer. 

I begin backing up and set my white claw on the sand.

“Babe no” 

He laughs a little. 

He speeds up and i begin walking away. 

“JJ, no!” i say with a smile.

I start running on the sand and he follows. 

“Babyy, c’mere!” he yells. 

I laugh and keep running. 

I hear the sparkler die out and slow down. 

I turn around and see him running up to me.

We’ve gotten so far from everyone we can barely hear the music.

A lifeguard house is blocking the view of the party.

He walks up to me and sits down on the sand next to me. 

He grabs my hand and pulls me down.

I fall down slightly and then lie on the ground next to him. 

Our breathing slows down. 

“You’re gonna get over your fear of sparklers eventually” he says.

I laugh a little. 

“No, i won’t”

The fireworks begin going off and we watch them. 

I smile and look over to him. 

I see he’s already looking at me with a big smile.

“What?” 

“Nothing, you’re just..gorgeous”

I roll my eyes and smile.

“Shut up”

He laughs a little.

I flip onto my side and put my hand on his face.

I kiss him as the fireworks go off. 

He puts his hand on my cheek and i continue kissing him. 

I crawl onto him and straddle him. 

We keep kissing as the fireworks go off. 

He pushes my hair behind my ear and i smile into the kiss. 

We continue kissing for the next few minutes and eventually go back to the party. 

We spend the night together at John B’s. 

-

Sorry i ended the chapter at a weird time.

I’m rlly tired n js wanna upload somethingggg.

Lmk what y’all think ig

Once again, request things by messaging me.

Thanks for readinggg!

Also ima change my upload schedule to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. 

BYEEE <33

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

America's ass

Summary: you make Chris celebrate that ass on its birthday

Warning: Fluff

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Author note: because it's the 4th of July here you go

Masterlists | request closed for the time being

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission. comments and reblogs welcome!

You lit the candles that were in the red, white and blue cake that you brought for this special day. It was July 4 and it was a day America celebrated freedom, but to you it was a day you celebrated America's ass. 

Your amazing boyfriend Chris played Steve Roger and it was only fair to you that you gave him a cake because he was practically Steve Roger. You knew he would find it amusing, and that made you happy.

You put down the lighter and picked up the cake. You made your way down the hall to Chris's office where He was finishing up some work and calls. You placed your hand in front of the candles so you don't blow them out while you walked.

"Chris." You said in a singing like tone. you heard shuffling behind the door before Chris opening it. "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you," Chris chuckled, grabbing his left boob as you continued your little birthday song.

"Happy birthday America's ass, happy birthday to you." You finished, smiling up at Chris. "Make a wish." Chris laughed under his breath and released a breath. "You're so damn cute." He blew out the candles, before taking the cake from your hands.

"I'll be eating this by myself." Chris pushed the door to his office closed slightly. He knew you were going to be pissed off by his actions, You loved cake why too much. 

"Hey!" You pushed the door open accidentally bumping Chris' arm causing the cake in his hand to smash in his face. You gasped loudly at what you did. "I'm so sorry." Your hand flew to your mouth, as you tried to block your laugh from Chris. Chris pulled the cake out of his face, the icing coated his eyelashes and cheeks perfectly. You took the remaining cake from his hand and looked at it. It was ruined. 

"Baby please forgive me." Chris did his best to wipe the icing from his eyes before opening them. "I don't know if I can, you made America's ass sad."he gave you a pouty face. You looked up at him confused. "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the cake."

Chris scolded you before he pushed the cake into your face as well. "What the fuck!" You pulled the cake from your face. You could taste the vanilla on your tongue. "That's what you get." Chris walked away from you dramatically to the kitchen. "I made you a cake in this is how you repay me. Remind me to never celebrate America's ass day ever again." 

Chris turned around at your words. He couldn't risk that, he loved this day. "Baby I'm sorry." He walked up to you taking the cake. "I'm sorry. I love you, don't take America's ass day away from me." You looked at him. "I don't know, maybe I'll decide after I take a shower and you join me." Chris smiled, knowing what you're talking about. "I'm going to go put this in the kitchen." He ran to the kitchen as fast as he could. "Don't get in without me."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭ 。.・

@chris-butt @princess-evans-addict @patzammit @bval-1 @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @raveviolet @rynabarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captainamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @lovepeacefood @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @jillanaholland @rororo06 @briannab1234 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @kianifan @adriannajackson

[grantzarrr]

Blinded e.d

warnings: smut, tiny like a tiny bit of angst, lots of fluff

summary: ethan dolan has always loved y/n, but y/n have always been blinded, that is until ethan gets a girlfriend...will she still be blinded?

Monday October 12th, 2009

“Ethan, pass the ball!” Matt shouts as he watched his friend stop for a few minutes staring into what seems like space. but no, what Ethan was staring at wasn't just space, it was, Y/n Y/l/n. a young curly haired girl that drifted out into nature, being on her own was something she thrived off, that's what 9 year old Ethan thought was ‘awesome’ a girl his age not acting so girly, thats what drew him towards her the most. “e, whatcha looking at?” Matt asked, going towards Ethan, so curious. “ughh, this stupid girl again?” Matt groaned, simply not knowing why Ethan always looked and talked about her. that’s what got Ethan to snap out of his staring and thoughts, “what did you just say?” Ethan's voice now stern. “what’s the big deal about her, she's a girl she probably has cooties!” Matt scrunched his face up at the thought of her having cooties, by now Y/n heard Matt yelling about her having cooties, and wasn’t taking that at all, but she waited to see what Ethan would say, she always thought of them as friends so why not? “she does not have cooties, shes...not those type of girls.” Ethan defended, Y/n very pleased at what he had to say and continued picking her sunflowers. “oh yeah, then prove it.” Matt battled, “well-.” he had to stop himself right there. you see ethan had no proof that she didn’t have cooties, he couldn’t say ‘because he touched her’, he would be lying, he was to nervous to even say hi. “well what?” Matt smirked knowing he was right. “hey, buddy, yeah I definitely don’t have cooties, but you wanna know what I do have, power to tell you, you can lick my butt.” Y/n chimed in, sick and tried of hearing him run his big mouth. “yeah she doesn’t have cooties, so yeah lick my butt as well.” Ethan said as he grabbed Y/n hand and squeezed it tightly. Matt huffed and threw up the middle finger, something his big brother thought him, and walked away. Y/n turned to Ethan and said “thank you, Ethan for taking up for me.” Y/n smiled “no-no problem” Ethan stuttered, trying his best to hide his nerves, “c’mon, I have some more flowers to pick, that I think you’ll like.” Y/n said as she ran towards the school’s garden, Ethan right behind her, following every step. thus leading towards Y/n and Ethan becoming inseparable.

July 2020

“bro, what if she doesn’t like me.” Ethan sighs, telling Grayson his deepest fear “bro, if she doesn’t just move on find a new girl, you’ll be fine.” Grayson says calmly as if the situation was just that easy. “gray, you don’t understand, i'm in love with her, since 4th grade i’ve been in love with her, it isn’t that easy to just move on.” Ethan confesses “then tell her.”... that has been circling around Ethan’s mind for so long ‘just tell her’, ‘why don’t you just tell her’ ‘bro, say something to her’, but he can’t over the fear of her simply not liking him back er- loving him back. 

“y/n are you going to Tristan party Friday?” Ethan asked, this is the night he is gonna ask her out, he was so excited yet nervous. “of course, e, you know me better than anyone, you know i’m going.” of course Ethan knew she was going, he listened to her tell her ‘other’ friends, people that wasn’t Ethan. God, Y/n, why are you so in my head, you’re my friend. Ethan thought. but he couldn’t help it, he was gonna give her one more chance to notice so he made a plan.

perfect, now if everything goes as planned Ethan should lose his virginity to Y/n and Y/n should lose her’s to him, perfect. Ethan rethought this plan over and over in his head, fuck, imagine how tight she’ll be, how perfect she’ll taste, how perfect she’ll look when I'm fucking her in- “e!” Grayson interrupted his thoughts and plan to jerk off, “what.” Ethan groaned desperately trying to make this conversation go faster “I found a girl for you, and hopefully you can move on from Y/n.”...WHAT, no fuck you, I dont want another girl, I want Y/n nobody else. Ethan thought, but he didn’t wanna lash out on his brother and tell him, he’s a fucking idiot, in front of this sweet looking girl. so he pushed it aside. “uh hi-.” Ethan didn’t even get to finish his sentence because..“omg ethan, I love you so much, and I would be soooo happy if I was your girlfriend, and yeah fuck this bitch Y/n, I'm so much better, you’ll see, baby!” she screamed out, obviously just a raging fan instead of a lover of interest, but Ethan being the person he was, was not gonna be mean but when she said ‘fuck this bitch Y/n’ he lost it. “yo, watch what the fuck you say about her, there is no fucking way i’m gonna like you, if you dont fucking respect my best friend” Grayson gasped, not knowing his twin could lash out over...Y/n. maybe this was serious, maybe he wasn’t in love..he was obsessed? “whoa, Ethan you’re feisty, I love you even more.” she said, now latching on to him, seemingly loving this. “I don’t think I want you as my girlfriend or anything.” Ethan sighed “bro, think about it, you’ll have a new girl that you can get to love and you’ll be happy, just give her a week, and if you don’t get to like her, you can go back to Y/n.” Grayson said, trying to get him away from Y/n...but why, why was he trying so hard to keep him away from her? was he hiding something? was Y/n hiding something from Ethan, that Grayson know? why? “okay fine, but why are you trying to keep me away from Y/n?” Ethan asked, curiosity flowing through his mind “I don’t wanna see you hurt bro, what if, she doesn’t like you, I know you’ll be crushed, i’m protecting you.” well, shit, he does understand.

“Grayson, wheres e?” Y/n asked. “with his girlfriend, their suppose to be doing couple crafts or some.”... gone. girlfriend. couples crafts. wait what, girlfriend!? “he has girlfriend!?” she shouted “yeah, for about three days now.”...why didn’t he tell me, why did he hide it. she thought, then there's a blockage forming in her throat, was she about to cry, was she jealous, what is going on with her. she couldn’t take it so she just let it burst out, causing her tears, running down her face. “y/n what’s wrong, why are you crying.” Grayson holding on stopping her from falling to the ground. “ethan- sniffs- girl- cry’s friend.” full sobs stopping her form talking. “whoa, calm down, I thought you only saw Ethan as a bestfriend?” Grayson asked “well not until now.”...not until she realized how beautiful he was inside and out, how thoughtful he’ll be when she was feeling bad or when her birthday come or holidays. how gentle he’ll hold her, when she’s upset and telling her everything will be okay. oh how she loved him so, loved him so much more than just a friend, she wanted him to be her’s. “gray, I-I wanna be with him.” she croaked out, he took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say “y/n, look you can’t just say you want him when he has someone, when he have gave you so many chances, you just cant, all these years and you've only cared about you, how you were feeling then call Ethan to be your savior.” “I never noticed, I never thought once on how he felt.” oh, that sounds so bad “see, you fucking see, how you never once thought of his feelings, it’s like you’re so BLINDED on yourself you never think of anyone!” Grayson raising his voice, now fully angry at this. “no.” she sobbed “no, I do think of his feelings, I care about him and his feelings, I always have, I just never realized.”

“well yeah he does, okay, will did now he has Katy.” Grayson huffed 

Katy? Katy Mc’Grain? “does she have long blonde hair?” she asked, pleading it's not her. “yes, and has a butterfly tattoo on her left shoulder, why?” 

omg- it’s Katy Mc’Grain, Y/n ex friend from a year ago that sworn to hurt the thing that meant most to her. now what caused this is simply because Y/n forced her to go to rehab, addiction she struggled with Y/n thought she helped, that is until, the workers that took Katy in, call Y/n on the 3rd day at 4am that Katy had escaped and left a note for Y/n saying ‘you will not forget me, I will take out what means the most to you, just like you did to me’...and that's Ethan, and they went to a ‘couples craft’ holy shit, they gotta save e  

“gray, shit, we gotta go!” Y/n yelled “what, why?” 

“i’ll explain on the way there, let’s jus-.” she got cut off my the front door opening, it was Ethan, “Gray she wasn’t the one.” Ethan sighed “bro, I honestly think its Y/n, like no matter- Y/n?” He eyes widened, and as always his heartbeat started beating rapidly. “ethan, I love so much, even more than just a friend.” was this a joke? is she lying? “what?” is all Ethan can crack out “ethan i’ve realized that you are the one, it’s you, it's you that is always there, always helping me, and i’ve been so blinded and-.” he kissed her, something he’s been wanting to do since forever but never thought he would get too. as they pulled away it was just like breath had been token away, no one could speak, they just stared into each other eyes, goofy looking smiles on each other faces. this is the moment Ethan knew he wanted to make love to her, he looked at Grayson giving him, that, look. “well, i’ll leave you guys to it.” Grayson laughed, having a good feeling about this and leaving the house.  

“baby, let me make love to you.” Ethan whispered in her ear, Y/n withering under him, in nothing but underwear. Ethan started kissing her next softly, waiting on a answer. Y/n nodded profusely, wanting the aching in her legs to end. “gonna need words, princess.” Ethan chuckled at her eagerness. “yes, yes, Ethan please, need something.” 

“as you wish, my love.” 

Ethan kissed down her body slowly and softly, being a huge tease. once he finally reached the top of her laced panties, he kissed the top of the little bow and pulled them down her legs, “mm, so wet for me baby, I haven’t even done anything?” his ego getting huge, once they were off he started kissing her clit, going lower, lower, and lower. “"that's something for another time, I wanna feel you.” he stated 

“i’ll go slow, okay.” she nodded watching as he pulled his huge rock hard cock, out his boxers, Ethan noticed her eyes widened, and chuckled “don’t worry baby, I’ll go slow, I promise.” He was half in, Y/n eyes closed shut as he kissed along her neck, whispering small little nothing’s. 

he’s all the way now, still kissing her neck, trying to easy the pain “move please.” he heard softly, looking up at her, eyes wide. “you sure?” he asked “fuck, yes.” she moaned and that's what drove him to go, as his hips moved faster, her moans grew more and became louder.

for Ethan, jacking off was nothing compared to the tightness of her pussy, his fist could never be as tight, as wet, as perfect than her pussy. for Y/n her fingers, dildo or vibrator could come as close to Ethan’s dick, how big and thick he was, how good he could instantly find her g-spot, penetrated her so good.

“fuck, Ethan i'm gonna cum!” she shouted “right behind you, baby.”                            

“so, are we gonna go to Tristan’s party as an official couple?” Ethan asked, she giggled and nodded, snuggling closer to her boyfriend. “wait, so that means we’re dating now?”, “go to bed Ethan.” 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #425

“evolution repressed by our backwards contest  /  breeding our torrential demise as we come to this edge”

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? I think Nutella is a godsend, but I use peanut butter waaaaay more often. We don't even really buy Nutella because I will destroy the jar. Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Baked. What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? Kathryn. I think. Do you like breadsticks? I just like bread, man. What are your favorite things to spend money on? Tattoos, uuuuugggghhhhh <3 Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Neither, really. Most puppies drive me insane (even though they're cute as everliving fuck), and I don't want another cat. Mom actually talked about getting another, but I really just want my one boy. Roman would get SO jealous, anyway. I enjoy just having my baby. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26. Yikes. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? As "the fat one," I can be sometimes. I would say though that more often than not, it's sort of whatever to me because I'm a human that has to eat. When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I thought I slept way later than I actually did. What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? My stuffed meerkat Rebel. Jason got it for me for my first birthday that we were together. Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? Never again. I was once able to think "agree to disagree," but sometimes by doing so, you're siding with evil by not enforcing what is more than just a belief. It should come with being a human. Also given my own sexuality, it would be a slap in the face to me. Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? Hell no. I'd date one though, if they were modest about their position. Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Wow, no. Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Quite frankly, nowadays, my appearance. I need it. My self-confidence is so far below "shit." Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nope. You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? Hm. I know I talk about it a lot, but it would still probably be a 40 gallon terrarium for Venus. She needs - and deserves - it. Honestly, have you ever danced naked? NOOOOOOOO. What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Downloaded music. My mom eventually found out, but didn't care much. What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Google. Do you like to write poetry? I do, but I haven't done it in a while. :/ Are your ears pierced? Yes. If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? Piercing gun. Which, by the way, do not do. There are many more risks with a piercing gun versus a needle by a professional. Do you wear makeup regularly? I never do. Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? No. I've been on a bagel kick lately. When was the last time you tripped over something? Last night, actually. The rug in the living room was slightly turned up, and I tripped in the dark. I didn't actually fall, thankfully. Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I'm diagnosed with OCD. I experience more ruminations and intrusive thoughts more than obsessive behaviors, though. Who was the last person you yelled at? Probably Mom. Why did you yell at them? I don't remember. Favorite type of apple? I like pink lady apples. I really enjoy any, so long as they're crisp. Ever seen live horse racing? No. To be totally honest, I don't really like the concept of it. Motivating a horse to run by hurting it doesn't exactly seem moral... How about live greyhound racing? No. What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? The Internet, haha. Have you ever touched a giraffe? No. What does your mom call you? Britt. What stresses you out the most in life? I really don't think I could pick a top one. There are so many. Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Yeah. Y'all probably know WoW is my favorite. If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? I used to be able to slam out Expert easily with only very few songs I had to play on Hard, but now it's been YEARS. I've played less than once in a blue moon, and my skill's definitely faded some. It really depends on the song. What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? He couldn't handle my depression anymore. What’s your favorite country song? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw, probably. What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Fail to communicate what he was feeling with me and then make a dashing break for it very, very abruptly after three and a half years. It put me past a state of shock, but trauma with how no less than obsessed I was with him. What were you for Halloween last year? I didn't dress up. :/ I wish I had the money and motivation alike to. Are you feeling guilty for something? I always will. Are you usually quiet or loud? Quiet. How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? Like... uh... all of them, oof. What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? Meerkat Manor. Do your siblings text you? Not really. Do you want a small or big wedding? Small. Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Not the house I currently live in, but I have before. Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't know. Ever kissed someone who smokes? No. Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Frankly, no. Do you own your own computer? This laptop, anyway. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yes, with my younger sister as a kid and pre-teen. What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? I hear the video I'm watching, as well as my fan. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? Nothing. Not like that's a surprise. What do you typically order from Wendy’s? Son of the Baconator. @_@ Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No. Those are so awkward to me. What do you love most about yourself? I don't know these days. Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No. What are you doing right now? This survey and re-watching John Wolfe play Outlast 2. What’s bothering you right now? I'm immensely nervous about tomorrow. I have my first (and I pray the fuck to God not only) session with my new personal trainer then, and I'm terrified by how my body and my mental fortitude is going to react. Y'all have no fucking idea JUST how out of shape I am, and the muscles in my legs seem basically non-existent by now. I have to do something about my health, though, and I'm determined to make this shit work. More than determined. I know the first day is going to be hard, but I need to do this more than I can explain. What was the last thing you drank? ... What great fucking timing, I have a can of Mountain Dew, lol... That's another thing that needs to change. I've gotta stop the emotional and boredom-eating and chill the fuck out with soda. Be honest, do you like people in general? Quite frankly, no. There are plenty of people I love and think are amazing, of course, but I think I lean towards humanity being too shitty to like "in general." Do you want your tongue pierced? I miss my snake eyes. :/ That was suuuuch a cute piercing. I just had to take it out for the safety of my teeth. I kept accidentally clamping down on one of the balls when eating, and it would cause tiny fractures. Do you change your phone background a lot? No. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? It's not funny-sounding, no, I just think it's too manly for me to enjoy as part of my name. Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Yes. Oddly enough, I don't remember what I OD'd on now... You'd think I would, given how extreme the situation was. It was some cold medicine. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I absolutely do. It's extremely insensitive to people like myself who legitimately suffer - and I do mean "suffer" - from the disorder. Describe your day so far in three words: Dull. Lazy. Anxious. What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? Probably my senior project and the presentation I had to do for it. I taught about the fallacies and misconceptions of snakes, and I made a PowerPoint and some drawings to color and crosswords for the special ed children. I was so, so very nervous, but I got through it fine and the kids seemed to enjoy it. I actually still have the recording. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: MILKY WAY. FUCK I love those. Have you ever stepped in dog poop? UGH yes. What was the last thing you spent money on? My niece's birthday present. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? I almost said "yes," but then I realized he doesn't know me at all anymore. I've changed so much, hopefully mostly for the better. He hasn't "known" me in many years. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? It's terrifying to imagine my life without Mom; Sara, too. Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? I prefer no coffee. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have somewhere to sit that's not the ground, yes. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Sometimes. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? They're pretty, but I don't support their usage by this point in my life. They're a fire hazard, triggering to some vets with PTSD, and beyond terrifying for animals. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I get most heated about child molestation. You do not fucking touch a child like that. I don't even write any of my bajillion evil guys committing it in RP because I just can't stomach it. Even when my little sister (a children's social worker) is telling Mom about some stuff she sees at work, I have to not be present, 'cuz that shit isn't rare. It's nauseating. Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? A good number of people, honestly. Do you enjoy tanning? Hell no, I avoid the sun and heat at like all costs. Are you a virgin? This is going to sound weird, but I actually don't know, but I lean towards no. Who’s your celebrity crush? mARK EDWARD FISCHFUCK Did or do you get good grades in English class? I was always excellent in English. What part of your body are you self-conscious about? My stomach. But I'm self-conscious about everything else, too. Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No. Everyone knows I can't cook worth a damn. Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Truly close, no. Unless you include pets, actually. Then a few. :/ Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yep. When was the last time you got a shot? Earlier this year for Covid. Get your fucking vaccine, btw. :^)