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eu-nicola · 3 days ago

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Topper's sister

summary: since you were a child you had been in love with Rafe even though he never saw you, he always saw you as his best friend's little sister and nothing else, until one night everything changed.

warnings: nothing

word counter: 4487

author's note: english is not my first language

Since you were a child, you had always been Topper's "little sister." You grew up surrounded by him and his friends, watching from the shadows as they lived their days with a carefree attitude that you, in your innocence, envied. Among them all, Rafe Cameron had been your beacon. A platonic love that had begun when you were barely ten years old and he was already an arrogant and charming teenager.

It was impossible not to notice Rafe. With his easy laugh, his hair messy from the wind, and that confidence that radiated as if the world belonged to him. Every time he came to your house, he would greet you with a quick knock on the door before entering without waiting for an answer, and he always gave you the same gesture: a distracted flutter in his hair, as if you were a pet he found cute.

"Hey, little one." That was his standard greeting. A casual smile, without stopping to look at you for more than a second.

It made you burn inside. Not with hate, but with frustration. To him, you had always been the girl Topper shared DNA with, nothing more.

But time had passed. You were sixteen now, and you were no longer that shy girl who watched from the stairs as the boys joked and drank in the living room. You had changed. Your eyes, once filled with naivety, now knew how to see beyond the surface. Your hair fell in neat waves, and your style had become refined. You knew that many of Topper’s friends looked at you differently. The pool boy last week, Kelce at the last party, even some who were more distant were starting to seek your attention.

Except Rafe.

He was still the only exception.

One summer afternoon was an especially hot day, and as usual, Topper had invited his friends over to spend the day at the pool. You were in the kitchen, looking for something cold to drink, when you heard the familiar voices from the patio. Rafe’s laughter was loud, and as an automatic reflex, you looked out the window. There he was, with his cocky grin, throwing a ball back and forth with Topper and Kelce.

You decided to join in. You were no longer the girl who hid; now you knew how to move in his world. You came out with a glass of lemonade in your hand and headed toward the group.

“Maintaining the pool again?” you commented with a hint of mockery.

Topper rolled his eyes, but it was Kelce who answered first, smiling in a way you had seen before.

“There’s always room for you.”

Rafe didn’t even bother to look at you. He kept his eyes on the ball, as if your presence wasn’t worthy of his attention. That indifference stung, but you refused to let him notice.

“Sure, Kelce. Because you’re always such a gentleman,” you replied with a wink, playing along with his flirtation.

You sat down in one of the nearby chairs, letting the sun warm your skin as you feigned disinterest. You knew the others were looking at you, but your eyes were focused only on Rafe. Despite everything, he was still the one who held your attention.

After a while, the dynamic changed. Topper and Kelce decided to get into the water, leaving Rafe alone by the table. Without thinking much, you stood up and walked over.

“Are you going to stand there like a guard or are you going to have fun?” you asked, taking a seat next to him.

Finally, Rafe looked at you. His blue eyes met yours for a brief moment, and for the first time in a long time, he seemed to notice something different. But his usual smile quickly returned.

“Someone has to keep order. I don’t trust those two.” He pointed at Topper and Kelce, who were fighting over a float.

You rolled your eyes, leaning a little closer to him.

“Always so responsible, Rafe? You surprise me.”

“And you’re always so curious, huh?”

There was a mocking tone in his voice, but also something else. Something that made you wonder if, after all these years, Rafe was starting to see you as more than just Topper’s little sister. But you shouldn’t get your hopes up; you knew Rafe Cameron and his world of dangerous games all too well.

The afternoon passed without any major problems. The boys joked around and competed in absurd games, like who could stay on the float the longest or who could do the best dive from the edge of the pool. You joined them at times, letting the laughter flow freely. You felt the gazes of Kelce and the other boys on you, but as always, you didn't care enough.

Even so, there was something different in the air. A subtle tension. At one point, as you were toweling off after a dip, Kelce approached with a playful grin.

“So… you’re going to the party tonight, right?” he asked, leaning slightly towards you.

“Sure,” you replied without hesitation.

“Perfect.” Kelce winked at you and walked away, but not before Rafe pushed him away with a light punch on the shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Rafe said with a dry laugh.

“Just being friendly,” Kelce replied with a crooked grin, knowing full well what he was doing.

You watched the interaction, trying to figure out if there was something more behind Rafe’s reaction, but he didn’t say anything else. He simply turned away and refocused on the game. Although his apparent indifference was still present, you couldn’t ignore the small spark you’d seen in his eyes.

As the sun began to set, everyone started packing up their things. The boys went home to get ready for the party, while you stayed a little longer by the pool. You enjoyed the moment of calm, letting the warm breeze caress your skin before heading inside.

In your room, you opened your closet, searching for the perfect outfit for the night. You knew the party was going to be big; the entire Outer Banks was talking about it. You wanted to stand out, not only because you knew a lot of eyes would be on you, but also because you wanted to provoke a specific reaction. You wanted him to see you.

You chose a tight, deep blue dress, which highlighted your eyes and hugged your figure in all the right places. You carefully applied your makeup, opting for a style that combined naturalness with a hint of boldness. Looking in the mirror, you knew you were ready.

You walked down the stairs just as the first guests began to arrive. The house was already filled with music and laughter. Topper, as always, was in his element, greeting everyone and making sure drinks were never in short supply.

Hours later the atmosphere was electric. The house was filled with young people dancing, drinking and chatting in every corner. You walked through the living room confidently, greeting a few acquaintances before heading out to the patio where most of them were congregating. There, under the dim lights hanging over the pool, you saw Rafe.

He was leaning against the railing, a glass in his hand and that carefree smile that seemed permanent on his face. He was talking to a group of guys, but even from a distance, you could notice how some girls tried to catch his attention. He, however, ignored them with an ease that you found frustrating and fascinating in equal parts.

You decided not to approach him right away. Instead, you moved through the party, letting others come to you. Kelce appeared almost instantly, offering you a drink and throwing out flattering comments that you accepted with a smile.

However, every time you turned your head, your eyes went back to find Rafe. You watched him move around, talking to Topper or just watching the crowd, but never coming close to you.

After a while, you felt somewhat suffocated by the crowd and decided to step out onto the back balcony for a moment. The music was muffled, and the fresh air was a relief. You leaned on the railing, enjoying the brief respite.

You hadn’t been there more than a few minutes when you heard footsteps behind you. You turned your head and, to your surprise, it was Rafe.

“Escaping the party?” he asked with that smile he seemed to have been practicing for years.

“Just taking a break.” You shrugged, trying to remain calm.

He walked over and leaned on the railing beside you. For the first time in a long time, you were alone with him, without the distraction of others.

“Kelce seems to be quite interested in you,” he commented casually, though there was something in his tone that made you raise an eyebrow.

“And that bothers you?” “You asked, challenging him with your gaze.

Rafe let out a low laugh, turning his head to you.

“Should I?”

You didn’t answer right away. There was a tension in the air, an energy that seemed to envelop the two of you. Finally, you decided that, this time, you weren’t going to be the first to give in.

“I guess not,” you said with a hint of sarcasm, before looking away towards the horizon.

The silence that followed was brief, but loaded with meaning.

“Maybe.” His reply was almost a whisper.

The tension on the balcony was almost unbearable, but you refused to be the one to give in. Without giving him time to respond or analyze his words further, you stepped away from the railing and left him there, with his thoughts. You weren’t going to let that little moment consume you, not when there was an entire party waiting for you.

You went back inside the house, and as soon as you walked through the door, someone handed you a glass. You accepted it without thinking much, feeling the alcohol begin to warm your veins. The music was louder, the lights dimmer, and the energy of the party enveloped you again.

Soon you found yourself in the middle of the makeshift dance floor, surrounded by bodies moving to the beat of the music. It wasn't long before one of Topper's friends approached, a boy who had always tried to catch your attention. You knew that tonight he had his goal clear too, and it didn't bother you at all.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked you with a cheeky smile, already a few drinks in.

"Why not?" you answered, letting yourself be carried away by the music and the atmosphere.

He positioned himself close to you, his hands resting on your waist as you both followed the rhythm of the music. There wasn't a considerable space between you, and the closeness was enough to make other eyes fall on you, although you didn't care. At least, not until you felt a different presence at your side.

Suddenly, a strong hand rested on your arm, gently but firmly pulling you away from the boy you were dancing with. When you looked up, you met Rafe's eyes. His face was serious, and though his balance wasn’t perfect due to the alcohol, his gaze burned with an intensity you hadn’t seen before.

“Come on,” he said in a deep voice, almost inaudible over the music.

“What are you doing, Rafe?” you asked, surprised and confused, as he led you through the crowd.

“You shouldn’t be with him,” he replied, not even looking back.

You, your head clouded by the drinks you had consumed, could barely process what was happening. Before you knew it, you were in one of the rooms upstairs, away from the noise of the party.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you snapped, breaking free from his grip.

Rafe closed the door behind you, leaning against it for a moment. There was something different in his gaze, something beyond the alcohol.

“I don’t know…” he murmured.

The silence between you was heavy, but not uncomfortable. You moved closer, your heart pounding in your chest. There were so many emotions mixed together: frustration, desire, confusion. Rafe looked at you, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t seem to have all the answers.

So, without thinking about it any further, you took a step closer and kissed him. It was an impulsive kiss, filled with years of repressed emotions. At first, Rafe seemed surprised, but he quickly reciprocated.

The kiss intensified, and soon everything else faded away. There was no one else, no past or future, just that moment.

What happened next was a mix of desire and confusion. You were both drunk, and even though your thoughts tried to stay clear, your actions betrayed you. That night was the first time you were with a man, and it was with him, with Rafe, the person you had idealized for so long.

You didn't say anything about it, and you didn't afterward either. Rafe didn't ask you, nor did he seem to care. To him, it was just another night, a mistake caused by alcohol and closeness.

When it was all over, you stayed silent, staring at the ceiling as he quickly got dressed. Rafe wasn't the type to stick around, and you knew that even before he opened his mouth.

“This isn’t going to happen again,” he said, his voice hoarse and tired. “We were just drunk, that’s all.”

It hurt, but you didn’t show it. Instead, you shrugged, pretending you didn’t care.

“I know.”

He gave you one last look, like he was searching for something in your expression, but when he found nothing, he simply left, closing the door behind him.

You stood there for a few minutes, letting reality hit you. You had known something like this could happen, that once you were around Rafe, your feelings would complicate everything again. But you also knew you weren’t going to let it define you.

You stood up, fixed your dress, and walked out of the room, ready to face the rest of the night. Rafe might want to pretend nothing had happened, but you weren’t going to get caught up in that. If he wanted to forget about it, you would too.

You returned to the party, head held high and a confident smile. There were more drinks, more laughter, more glances. Kelce found you again, and this time, you didn't hesitate to accept his attention.

The days following the party were a whirlwind of emotions for you. Every time you saw Rafe, a knot formed in your stomach. However, he didn't seem affected at all. He acted as if that night had never happened, as if it had all been an unimportant blur.

You expected it, but it didn't hurt any less. You had spent years dreaming of a moment like this, imagining what it would be like if Rafe finally saw you as more than "Topper's little sister." And even though it had happened, the reality was very different from your fantasies.

Rafe was back to his old self: distant, cocky, focused on his own world. His interactions with you were sporadic and cordial, if anything. There wasn’t a single sign that he remembered what happened, let alone cared.

You, for your part, tried to stay strong. You knew you couldn’t let a single moment define your life, but that was easier said than done. Despite everything, you were still in love with him. Every time he walked into a room, your attention was automatically drawn to him, even if you tried hard to look away.

You spent more time with Topper’s friends, especially Kelce, who seemed determined to win your attention. Kelce was friendly and knew how to make you laugh, but no matter how hard he tried, he could never make you completely forget about Rafe.

At night, you found yourself replaying the moments from that night over and over in your mind. You remembered his hands on you, the warmth of his body, the intensity of his gaze. But every time those memories came up, you forced yourself to push them away. Rafe had been clear: it wasn’t going to happen again.

Everything was moving on, and it was impossible to avoid Rafe entirely. You often saw him around the house, chatting with Topper or relaxing by the pool. When you were around him, you tried to act natural, but each interaction was harder than you wanted to admit.

One day, while you were in the kitchen preparing something to eat, Rafe came in, reaching for a beer in the fridge. For a moment, you were alone, silence filling the space between you.

“Everything okay?” he asked casually, not looking at you as he opened the bottle.

“Yeah, everything okay,” you replied in a neutral tone, trying to sound nonchalant.

Rafe nodded and leaned against the counter, taking a sip of his drink. There were no more words between you, and after a few minutes, he simply walked out of the kitchen, leaving you alone once again.

Those kinds of encounters became commonplace. Rafe was always polite, but it never went beyond a “hello” or an occasional question. It seemed like for him, nothing out of the ordinary had really happened.

You decided you couldn’t stay stuck in that cycle anymore. If Rafe could ignore what happened, then you could try too. You pushed yourself to focus on other things: hanging out with your friends, focusing on your own interests, even considering the idea of starting something with someone new.

Yet every little bit of progress fell apart the moment you saw Rafe. There was something about him that always drew you back, as if your heart refused to accept what your mind already knew.

One afternoon, as you sat on the patio, watching the waves in the distance, you heard footsteps behind you. You turned your head and saw Rafe, walking with that nonchalance that always seemed to accompany him. He sat down on one of the nearby chairs, not saying anything at first.

“Thinking about something deep?” he finally asked, with a slight smile.

You didn’t answer right away. You bit your lip, trying to keep your composure.

“Maybe,” you finally said, without looking at him.

Rafe didn’t press. He stayed silent, sipping from his glass as you both stared at the horizon. For a moment, you almost seemed like friends, like there was nothing strange between you. But you knew it was just a passing illusion.

That was the problem with Rafe. He always managed to sneak into your life, into your thoughts, even when you tried to keep him out.

Days after trying to ignore him, there was another party but this time not at your house but at Rafe’s house. The music was pumping loudly, filling every corner of the house. The lights flickered to the beat of the bass, while the air was charged with the energy of bodies moving in perfect synchronicity. You stood in the center of the dance floor, lost in the music, letting a boy lead you confidently. He was attractive, and his smile had a mischievous touch that kept your thoughts away from Rafe, at least for a while.

“You’re a great dancer,” the boy told you, leaning close to your ear so you could hear him over the music.

You smiled, grateful for the compliment, although it didn’t affect you too much. All you wanted was to enjoy the night without complications, without thinking about what had happened days ago. But just when you thought you could finally relax, you felt a strong hand on your arm.

“That’s enough,” you heard Rafe’s voice, sharp and determined, as he pulled you away from the boy.

You turned quickly, coming face to face with him. His eyes, despite the slight glint of alcohol, were filled with an intensity you hadn’t seen in a long time. The boy you were dancing with raised his hands, taking a few steps back, clearly not wanting to confront Rafe.

“What the hell are you doing?” you asked, pulling away from his hold, furious at the interruption.

“What am I doing?” Rafe repeated, as if the answer was obvious. “What do you think you’re doing, dancing with him like that?”

You stared at him incredulously, your emotions swinging between surprise and anger.

“Excuse me? Since when do you care who I dance with?”

Rafe looked at you with his lips pressed together, his jaw tensing.

“I don’t care, but you don’t have to behave like that in front of everyone.”

“Behave like that?” you laughed bitterly. “Don’t tell me what to do, Rafe. You’re nobody to butt into my life.”

His face showed a hint of something, maybe surprise, maybe frustration. But he quickly hid it, taking a step back.

“You’re right,” he finally said, his tone cold and distant. “I’m nobody.”

With that, Rafe turned around and walked away, leaving you there, your heart pounding and a mix of emotions you couldn't control.

You stood in the center of the dance floor, watching him walk away. The music continued, people continued dancing, but to you everything seemed to have paused. His words echoed in your mind: I'm nobody.

You tried to regain your composure. You went back to where your friends were, but your mood was no longer the same. Although you pretended everything was fine, inside you the anger and confusion continued to grow.

Rafe had made his point clear: he didn't want anything serious, but he didn't seem to want you to be with someone else either. What right did he have to make a scene out of jealousy if you meant nothing to him?

You took a long drink from the drink someone offered you, determined to erase that moment from your mind.

The next morning the sun shone high in the sky as the group enjoyed the afternoon by Topper's pool. You were lying on a lounge chair, your sunglasses covering half your face, letting the heat tan your skin. You could hear the sound of the waves in the distance and the laughter of the boys drinking beers near the pool.

Rafe was there, of course, sitting next to Topper and Kelce. You tried not to look at him, concentrating on the book in your hands, even though you hadn’t read a single word since you sat down. Your tranquility was interrupted, however, when one of Topper’s friends, a boy named Mason, decided to approach.

“Enjoying the sun?” he asked with a smile, leaning in slightly so you could hear him.

You looked up over your sunglasses and smiled lightly at him.

“Yeah, it’s a nice day,” you replied in a relaxed tone.

Mason sat on the edge of your lounge chair, his presence much closer than you expected.

“I was thinking maybe we could take advantage of this nice day and go out on the jet ski later. What do you say?” he suggested, clearly interested in spending more time with you.

Before you could answer, you felt a shadow approaching. Rafe was now standing next to your lounge chair, his gaze fixed on Mason.

“Don’t you have anything better to do, Mason?” Rafe asked with a tight smile, though his tone made it clear it wasn’t a friendly suggestion.

Mason looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t move immediately.

“I was just talking to her, man. Relax.”

“Well, talk from over there,” Rafe replied, pointing towards the group of guys by the pool.

You sat up, furious, and pushed your sunglasses aside to face him.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Rafe?” you snapped, your voice filled with anger.

Rafe didn’t respond immediately, simply keeping his gaze fixed on Mason until he finally stood up and walked back to the group. Then, he turned his attention back to you.

“Can we talk?” he said in a tone that tried to be softer.

“No, we can’t.” You stood up from the lounge chair and grabbed your towel. Without waiting for an answer, you headed into the house, leaving Rafe standing by the pool.

You went up to your room, closed the door behind you, and dropped onto the bed, trying to calm yourself down. But it wasn’t more than a few minutes before the door slammed open. Rafe had walked in without even knocking, his face a mix of frustration and determination.

“What do you want now?” you asked, standing up to face him.

“I want to know what the hell you’re doing,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“What am I doing?” you repeated in disbelief. “I’m the one who should be asking you that! You were clear, Rafe. Our thing was just one night. I accepted it, remember? So why do you keep showing up every time someone else is paying attention to me?”

Rafe ran a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable.

“I don’t know,” he finally admitted, his voice lower.

That only made you angrier.

“Well, I do know that. You have no right to butt into my life, Rafe. No right to make me jealous when you yourself said it meant nothing.”

Rafe stayed silent, his eyes locked on yours. He knew you were right, but he couldn’t seem to find the words to respond. Instead, he took a step towards you, and before you could react, his lips were on yours.

You resisted at first, pushing him away slightly, still angry. But Rafe didn’t pull away, and after a second, the tension between you exploded. You gave in, kissing him back with the same intensity. His hands slid down your back, pulling you closer, as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

When you finally broke apart, you were both breathing heavily. Rafe looked at you, his eyes darker now, filled with desire.

“We have to stop here,” he said quietly, though his hands were still firmly gripped by your hips. “If we don’t, I won’t be able to stop later.”

You stared at him, not pulling away.

“Then don’t stop,” you whispered, with a determination that surprised even yourself.

That was all it took. Rafe kissed you again, more urgently this time, as he led you toward the bed. You both knew you were crossing a line, but at that moment, neither of you seemed to care.

#fanfic #oneshot #imagine #x reader #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe x you #obx fic #obx #obx fanfiction #obx x reader

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dixons-sunshine · 2 days ago

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Good Job! | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: When out gathering supplies with Daryl, he successfully catches your dinner. To show him how proud you were, you bestowed him the highest honour you could at that moment—a sticker.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Prison.

Warnings: Animal death.

Word count: 1.2k.

A/N: Inspired by a post I saw by @darylsdelts. I hope y’all like this!

The sun was shining brightly in the sky. Birds were chirping merrily from their sanctuary in the trees and the air just felt fresher than usual. If it were the old world, you would have spent the day lounging next to some body of water, a cold beverage in your hand as you soaked up the vitamin D the sun provided.

But it was not the old world. Instead of spending the day relaxing or something along those lines, you were instead trudging through the woods in clothes too long to be worn in such intense heat, wearing shoes so heavy you were seriously amazed that people wore them simply because they wanted to before the dead started walking, lugging a duffle bag full of supplies and deadly rifle along with you—a weapon you never would have thought you would be able to handle with the immense skill you now possessed.

Despite all those nuances that, under normal circumstances, would have had you complaining, you could not find it in yourself to do so, because it was not normal circumstances. The harshness of the world run by the dead had toughened your resolve and made you realize that some discomforts definitely were not as bad as you once thought them to be. Sure, you absolutely despised having to eat worms when the situation called for it, but you held your tongue because it was certainly better than the alternative, which was to starve.

Very rarely did you complain about anything nowadays—well, that is, if you did not count in the amount of times you had complained about Glenn’s snoring before, but that was all more in good fun. And a good chunk of what you knew to survive in a world like this was all thanks to the man you were trailing behind; your partner, Daryl Dixon.

As if somehow sensing that you had been thinking of him, Daryl glanced over his shoulder at you, his blue eyes sparkling with a softness reserved only for you.

“You alright back there?” he called back to you, despite already knowing what the answer would be. You were not the type of person to complain much about anything, and that was an attribute about you that he loved.

You nodded your head and adjusted the rifle’s strap over your shoulder. “I’m fine, Dar,” you assured him, sending him a radiant smile.

He nodded his head and turned his attention back in front of him. He kept his crossbow trained in front of him as his eyes searched for any dangers that could be lurking in the shadows, be it a walker, a wild animal, or another person. His main mission was to get the two of you to his bike that had been left abandoned for the time being, as the two of you had been forced to go on foot to the cabin Michonne had come across whilst on her search for the Governor.

The cabin—which had been in pretty decent shape despite being abandoned—had been stocked with supplies. You and Daryl, along with some other people, would have to go back in the morning to get the rest of the supplies. The two of you had stumbled across a metaphorical gold mine.

“So, Daryl,” you began, deeming it safe to strike up a conversation when the man in question grunted in acknowledgement. “What’s your favourite bird?”

The unexpectedness of the question made Daryl chuckle. He shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his eyes trained forward. “I don’ know. Maybe a bluejay?”

You nodded in approval at his choice, although he could not see you do so. “Great choice.”

Daryl hummed, glancing back at you. “Why’d ya ask?” he inquired. However, his attention got diverted when he heard something in the distance, his senses jumping to high alert.

“Just curious, is all.” You transferred the duffle bag from your one hand into the other, nearly sighing in relief when the blood began circulating through it again. “What—”

“Shh,” he shushed you quietly, instantly shutting you up. He motioned for you to stay put as he quietly stalked towards the bush where the source of the noise was, his crossbow raised and ready to be fired at a moment’s notice.

The perpetrator quickly got revealed in the form of a raccoon when Daryl pulled the leaves back. It hissed up at the archer, but it quickly got silenced when one of Daryl’s bolts pierced through its body. The pained whimper it let out right before it died made your heart ache a bit, but you quickly reminded yourself that it was necessary. It meant that there was the slightest bit more nutrition to bring back to the prison. Its death would not be in vain.

Daryl picked up his bolt, the raccoon’s body sat on it, before turning back to you. He simply raised the arrow a bit, shrugging a bit as he looked at you.

“Got us our dinner,” he said simply, as if it was the most natural thing to say.

You laughed lightly at him, shaking your head. However, it was as if a lightbulb went of in your head. Placing the duffle bag on the ground, you leaned down and zipped it open before rummaging through multiple cans of food and other supplies, in search of something you had bagged for little Judith to play with.

“Ah-ha!” you exclaimed victoriously when you found it, taking it out of the bag to reveal a small sticker book. You stepped towards your partner while flipping through the pages, searching for the sticker you had spotted when you had initially looked through it the first time.

You found it after a few moments. You gently peeled the sticker off of the page and pressed it against the archer’s beloved vest, the bright, neon-like yellow ‘good job!’ standing out against the gray leather. You smiled and gently patted his chest, before taking a step back.

“Good job,” you repeated the words on the sticker, giggling to yourself.

Daryl rolled his eyes at you, but he could not help the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Thanks,” he drawled sarcastically, trying not to laugh at the silliness of the situation. “S’much appreciated.”

“Oh, come on. I know you love it,” you told him through your small fits of laughter, your eyes sparkling as you looked up at him.

Daryl simply shook his head. “You’re ridiculous, ya know that?” Despite his words, he could not help the warmth that bloomed in his chest. He felt oddly touched by the small gesture, felt appreciated. He could not explain it.

You laughed and picked up the bag again, before beginning to walk again. “Yeah, but you love that about me.”

Among a lot of other things, Daryl thought to himself. However, he shook the thought from his mind and caught up with you, this time falling into step beside you rather than being in the lead.

As the two of you walked the remaining short distance to Daryl’s bike, with you striking up another conversation, Daryl simply admired you. He felt like the luckiest man alive for being able to say that you were his girl.

And if he got teased by the members of his found family for the sticker that remained on his vest for the rest of that day, he could not have cared less.

Taglist: @holdmytesseract @thevegandarkelf (comment/DM/inbox me to be added/removed!)

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botchedsundoll · 2 days ago

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L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)

ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; general relationship/ domestic hc’s

ೃ⁀➷ warnings; none!

ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; hi giys my requests r open😝 request please… pls☹️, idc if some of these r ooc in my world they are very much in character i love them all so much oh my god, didn’t include much abt their jobs bcos i wany thrm all to be happy okay..

C. OLIVEIRA

have you seen them photos of them big beefy scary men underneath like thick hello kitty or very feminine blankets? yeah that’s him

SNORES. SNORES SO LOUDLY. he wraps his arms around you instinctively at night and his grip is so tight you genuinely can’t escape his warmth or snoring

on the topic of that, he runs warm. he’s a genuine heater in winter - cold? cuddle up to him, saving money on the heating. win win!

whenever he comes home from the gym or wherever and he spots you watching one of your shows on the tv, he’ll stand behind the couch and watches it himself before eventually sitting down besides you. he can’t help it

every friday IS date night. whether that be something as simple as dinner at home together or something as extravagant as going to a fancy restaurant, the two of you are spending time together. he will make sure of that

going off of my previous hc’s, he can’t bake for life of him. cooking he’s rather okay-ish with all the simple stuff but baking? alone? absolutely not

the two of you decided to bake something for one of your date nights once. you asked him to pour flour and cocoa powder into the wet ingredients and turn the mixer on - he forgot to put the splashguard on and turned it right up to the fastest setting

safe to say your kitchen, and carlos, looked as if they’d just came out of winter wonderland

gives off the biggest girl dad vibes. just imagine him letting his little girl put random clips and bows in his hair jshwiaianwi omg

he has such a soft spot for strays. has genuinely brought home a puppy before because he saw it laying out by the dumpster before and couldn’t leave it alone

he’s all over you. CONSTANTLY. arm over your shoulder, hand on your hip. he can’t get enough of you

L. KENNEDY

he wakes up a few minutes earlier than he actually needs to (when he does actually fall asleep) just stare at you and how peace you look asleep

you’ve asked him to help you with your hair so many times to the point he’s genuinely become an absolute professional at it. the moment you give him that look he tells you to turn around and starts working his magic

keeps photos of you in his wallet, he knows deep down its rather risky but can’t help himself

in the instances that he does fall asleep before you (extremely rare) and you cuddle up against his side, his arm automatically wraps around you. it’s like muscle memory at this point

has your name engraved into his key chain on his keys

ALWAYS helps out with dinner whenever he’s home, despite you constantly telling him to get the fuck out and relax for a bit. ends up in him dancing with you in the kitchen

his showers are like, the ideal temperature- perfect for you to just hop in with him. he never minds and rather welcomes it

ALWAYS SURPRISES YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!! goes absolutely FULL out, waking you up with kisses on your shoulder, an expensive outfit you’ve had your eye on for a while, extravagant dinner and a nice little stroll in the park at night. switches it up every year so you never know what’s coming

has you as his emergency contact for sure

plays old rock songs in the car. causes you to make fun of him and call him an old american dad - even though you definitely don’t actually like the song. definitely

C. REDFIELD

i just KNOW this man can be out sass you during arguements. growing up with claire certainly prepared him for that

he’s gone quite most of the time, so he makes sure to spend as much time as possible with you whenever he can

recently saw this thing where it was an ex military with his kids, where he’s shouting out orders like a drill sergeant during bath time. chris. it just screams chris.

— “I’M PUTTING SHAMPOO IN YOUR HAIR, DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

— “OK!”

just imagine hearing that every time it’s his turn with bath time. just constant giggles and shouts (if there r kids ofc)

you and claire are CLOSE. chris has made sure of that, definitely introduced you two once he knew it was getting serious

regrets it at times, as whenever something happens at home with the two of you - no matter how stupid the arguement may hve been claire is always the first to know. and always the first to knock some sense into her brother

wears hawaiian dad shirts in summer. for a fact.

like carlos, runs SO WARM. feels as though he’s an actual bear and has genuine fur on him keeping him so warm

sleeps flat on his back, arms by his sides. usually a very light sleeper but at times absolutely nothing will wake him up. you’re free to roll around all over him, strew your legs out over him and he’ll simply stay lying on his back like always. hands by his sides and the only indication of him actually being alive being the rise and fall of his chest

his appetite is absolutely outrageous. you best believe whatever you make is being absolutely devoured, he loves your cooking. sometimes all he needs is some home cooked dinner to put a smile on his face

he will genuinely let you do almost anything to him. you wanna massage his back? sure. do a face mask on him? alright, but no photos. wax a patch of hair on his leg? did it before, never letting you do it again. he has a hard time saying no to you - he’s lost too much people, he needs to make the most of his time with you

#ೃ⁀➷. olka’s bs #is this ooc IDC!!!#resident evil #resident evil 3 #resident evil 5 #resident evil 4 #carlos oliveira x reader #carlos oliveira #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield

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alchemistc · 11 hours ago

Text

Dipping my foot in the mpreg pool to give you all:

They used a condom every time. Even after they'd gone to get tested, it was a fling for both of them, and it wasn't supposed to mean a damn thing.

Only Buck's three months along and Jason won't answer his calls.

Four months, and Cap sits him down and tells him at six he's gonna have to accept being man behind.

Five, and he runs into Jason at the supermarket and tells him he needs his family history. Jason looks spooked, but he overnights it to Buck's loft a week and a half later and Buck sends him a text letting him know he's off the hook.

Jason blocks his number.

Six, and Buck's back to stress baking, just at the firehouse now. He's not allowed to clean much, there aren't a lot of chemicals that are safe, and the probies from B shift bitch about it but they're not carrying a fucking bowling ball around.

At seven, Tommy rounds a corner with his face tipped behind him on a laugh and nearly runs smack into Buck.

When he turns back around he stops dead. Buck can see him doing the math, but even if he was ready to pop it wouldn't quite add up.

He saw Tommy on a call before he started showing and it was the most cordial interaction he's ever had with another firefighter.

---

They say hi. Tommy introduces him to his friend Henry. Buck gestures like he's got bigger plans than going home and eating a pint and a half of ice cream. They say goodbye.

---

Tommy calls him an hour later and asks if he can stop by.

---

"So he's just... not going to be involved?"

"He's twenty-five and a terrible person, so no. It was a fling. The sex was hot."

Tommy grimaces. "Do you need anything?"

"You got a spare bladder?"

---

At eight and a half they put Buck on bed rest and he throws an absolute fit about it. Eddie spends three days watching him furiously clean the loft with the natural shit he'd bought the day he saw those two lines. Hen threatens to bring Mara over to sit on him. Maddie listens to him rant for an hour and then brings him peanut butter banana toast with pickles in bed.

Tommy drops by with his massage gun and swears up and down he actually consulted an OB about which muscles it was safe to use on.

"How do you know an OB?"

Tommy looks shifty. "Do you want me to stay?" He ignores Buck's goggle eyes. Nods his head decisively. "I should stay."

---

Tommy camps out on his couch for two and a half weeks and already has the go-bag in his hands by the time Buck gets down the stairs.

Buck asks him if he wants to be in the room and despite the panicked look in his eyes, Tommy says yes.

---

"They asked me why I wasn't listed on the birth certificate," Tommy hisses, little baby Buckley dwarfed in his arms. He's been staring at her button nose for half an hour now, and Buck keeps trying to remind himself that this isn't permanent.

"What did you say?" Buck asks, genuinely curious.

Tommy's gaze is sad when it meets Buck's. "I didn't."

Like he can't quite help himself, he reaches a free hand in and boops her nose. She's out, though. She likes the sound of Tommy's voice.

Buck sighs. "She recognized you immediately." He's read the books. A million and two of them. Babies know the people that are around, the people that are close.

Amelia knows Tommy.

"It's not just me anymore, Tommy," he intones, and Tommy turns back up to look at him. Startled. Hopeful.

"I've been babyproofing my house like a lunatic for two months," he whispers, and Buck reaches out to rub a hand over the thin skin of Amelia's forehead before he catches Tommy's fingers in his own.

#bucktommy ficlet #mpreg

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joequiinn · 3 days ago

Text

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | epilogue

[chap seventeen] | [all chapters here]

Story Summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, slooow burn, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, dysfunctional family dynamics, idiots-to-lovers, smut & nsfw themes

a/n: Well, we've finally made it, everyone, and I'm feeling emotional about it. This epilogue is just a lil something I thought up while I was considering what the future would hold for Eddie and ice princess, and I love it dearly.

wc: 3.2k

Epilogue

September 1985

I want to be somewhere big and interesting. New York, L.A.… fuck, even Florida for all I care, I just want out of Hawkins, out of this town.” “Then I guess we’ll be those high school sweethearts that run off to L.A. together after graduation, huh?” “Oh, I’m sure.”

September 1987

Eddie should’ve been home by now. You’d memorized his work schedule within his first week of starting at VIP Records, so you knew his shift always ended at 6pm on Tuesdays - so where the hell was he? It was nearly 8:30, and you’d been getting more and more antsy as the minutes ticked by, worrying over what could possibly be delaying him like this.

So much had happened in the two years since you and Eddie began dating back in Hawkins - your world had changed so much that sometimes you felt like a completely different person. It started with some big things, like reintroducing Eddie to your parents and begging them to start fresh with him - though your father resolved to never show any warmth to your boyfriend, at least your mother was kinder.

You decide that you wouldn’t be going to college following graduation, instead wanting to take a year to work, which was yet another thing your father didn’t warm to. Somewhere amidst that decision and the subsequent string of arguments that followed, you found yourself spending more nights with Eddie and Wayne than you did with your own parents, until one day you realized you had informally moved into the Munson home. So, by the end of summer ‘86, you were out of your parents’ house and working full-time to save up for whatever may come next (and to pay rent, despite Wayne’s insistence that it was entirely unnecessary).

You weren’t sure who proposed the idea first, but you and Eddie had decided one day that you were going to move out to California. Initially, this was just some fantasy for the two of you, something to give you hope that you’d hightail it out of Hawkins one day, but over time that fantasy started to look more and more real until finally you agreed that maybe the idea wasn’t half bad at all.

So, you began to set aside more cash, began to look into neighborhoods and cities around Los Angeles, began to tell everyone that the two of you would be leaving town soon enough. No one really believed you at first - all your friends were in support of the idea, but they didn’t think it was particularly realistic. And when you mentioned it on one of the very rare occasions you saw your parents anymore, your father had the gall to laugh right in your face. That, of course, only bolstered your resolve to get the hell out of Indiana, and a lot of your freetime was slowly consumed with library visits to figure out how exactly to make this move happen.

You and Eddie finally made the leap a few months back, spending a couple weeks road tripping your way across the country, finally arriving in Los Angeles with only your most important earthly belongings and little else. Leaving Hawkins had been harder than you expected - leaving Wayne being the hardest - but you found California to be utterly refreshing, to fit you almost like a glove.

After living out of a hotel for a while, you found this cozy little apartment down in Long Beach, and you’d been content ever since; sure, it wasn’t perfect and the neighborhood wasn’t impressive, but it was your space, and that made it just right for you and Eddie. You both got jobs to hold you over for a while, you started visiting bars and venues, hell, you even found a stray cat that you quickly adopted without a second thought.

You’d been leaving the dollar theater after seeing a re-release of Labyrinth when the little calico found you - something about the film, and David Bowie, had totally mesmerized you when it came out the year prior, and Eddie was happy to take you to the special showing that night. So, when this cat approached you curiously and began weaving playfully between Eddie’s ankles, you were both immediately smitten. You named the cat Sir Didymus only to discover it was female a few weeks later, but it suited her rascally personality just fine, and thus her name stuck.

And now here you were, five months into your new California life and driving yourself crazy over where the hell Eddie was and why he was late to return home.

You called the record store and asked if maybe he was working late and forgot to mention it, but his coworker informed you that Eddie clocked out right on schedule; he mentioned that Eddie seemed eager to leave, but didn’t have any further information for you. On the one hand, it made you worry that something had happened, but on the other, you were annoyed that he had possibly made plans without telling you, as unlikely as that may be.

You’d tried to think of all the places in town that he could have gone to, but nothing seemed particularly viable - he wouldn’t have gone to a show without you, wouldn’t have gone to the store without you, wouldn’t have gone anywhere without you. Not unless he was keeping some kind of secret, but you couldn’t fathom what that might be.

Considering that today was your birthday, you had originally thought maybe he was making a special stop to get you flowers or a cake or a last minute gift; it was so like Eddie to do that, even after you insisted he didn’t need to get you anything at all. But once 7 o’clock hit, and then 7:30, and then 8pm, you began to doubt this original line of thought and assume the worst instead.

Decidedly, a few minutes past 8, you’d thrown on one of Eddie’s sweaters and your shoes, and made the short trek down to the convenience store on the corner - the two of you were in there practically every day, so maybe one of the employees had seen him. The familiar night clerks greeted you, but when you asked about Eddie’s whereabouts, they didn’t have a clue, which made your worries grow even more. As if to put your mind at ease, they gave you a free 6-pack and said they’d call you if they saw him.

You returned back to the apartment to Sir Didymus crying for dinner, which made you realize you forgot to set out food for her earlier. Cursing to yourself, you filled her bowl and began to pace nervously, trying to consider where the hell Eddie could be. Did you forget about a show that he had previously mentioned? Or was he hit by a fucking truck? Maybe he got caught up chatting with a customer like he was one to do, or maybe he got fucking mugged. All possibilities were on the table, and you hated each and every one of them for causing you such worry and distress.

Prying open a window, you crawled onto the fire escape and lit a cigarette, hands shaky with anxiety as you pressed it to your lips. The night was relatively quiet for your neighborhood, which wasn’t saying much - there were always cars cruising up and down the road, music blasting from a nearby bar, and people constantly arguing in alleyways and backyards. But the noise was soothing in its way, reminding you that the world was constantly in motion and that Eddie was probably just caught up in it all.

Sir Didymus came to sit beside you, meowing as if she, too, was wondering where the hell Eddie was and why he wasn’t back home. You considered throwing on some clothes to go searching for him, but aside from the bar and the convenience store, there was nowhere in the area that he would be; moments like these made you wish you two hadn’t sold your car, because it would’ve been really convenient to have right about now.

Each time you heard tires screeching or saw headlights shining down the road, you craned your neck to get a better look, but it was never Eddie. You’d already nervously polished off two cigarettes and were lighting up a third; Sir Didymus had retired to sleeping on the pile of blankets that she commandeered within a few days of moving in.

As you were caught up in your anxious thoughts, you thought you’d heard metal music from somewhere nearby, muffled and far off, but it caused your ears to perk; when you realized that it was specifically a Dio song playing, you immediately shot to your feet, clambering back through the window while dropping your cigarette into the ashtray.

Without bothering to slip on shoes, you rushed out onto the breezeway connecting all the little apartments in your complex, gripping the rails as you tried to find the source of the music, which was obviously louder from this side of the building. The street in front of your complex was crowded with cars, so if the music was Eddie’s, he must have had to park way down the block; eventually, the music stopped, and you became more anxious by the second.

When finally you spotted Eddie walking up the sidewalk towards the gate, you all but rushed down the stairs to meet him halfway; Eddie smiled largely, clearly not able to make out your concern under the flickering lights illuminating the path. A glare grew in your eyes as you realized he looked just fine; in fact, it seemed he stopped by the store, if the grocery bag in his hand was anything to go on. He held up his arms to greet you, but before he could get a word out, you hissed while jabbing him in the chest.

“Where the hell have you been?” Your eyes were alight with panicked concern, and you didn’t realize until that moment that you were on the verge of relieved tears. You swallowed, determined to hold them back, “It’s almost 9 o’clock, Eddie, I was worried out of my fucking mind.”

Eddie’s face fell, arms drooping at his sides; he didn’t expect you to have gotten so worked up over him not returning on time. He thought he could surprise you, that he could do something nice for your birthday, but the utter panic in your expression told him otherwise. He dipped his head down towards yours, hoping that he could sooth all the stress that had bubbled up inside you.

“I should’ve called--”

“No shit.”

Eddie clenched his jaw a little, taking a breath - he wasn’t about to get upset with you, he wouldn’t let himself, “Let’s go upstairs, okay?”

The impulsive side of you wanted to argue with him right here and now, wanted to grill him about why he didn’t come home and what he was doing. The more patient part of you, however, held back, shaky breaths heaving in your chest as you nodded with a twisted expression. You spun around on your heels and marched up the stairs, crossing your arms with a scowl; Sir Didymus sat just outside your open door, curiously waiting for you both.

Following just a step behind you, Eddie sighed to himself as he took in your rigid posture, realizing that he should’ve thought this through - after all, since your move to Long Beach, the two of you were essentially attached at the hip, doing absolutely any and everything together. Of course you would worry when he didn’t come home, when he didn’t call or give you a heads up - but, again, he’d just been hoping to surprise you, and hadn’t considered that a few hours would get you as stressed as you were now.

Back in the apartment, you took large strides towards the open window and retrieved your cigarette from the ashtray. To calm yourself down, you began to pace, watching as Eddie closed the door behind him and waited there a moment as if to collect his thoughts; when he turned to face you, you quickly looked away and took a deep drag.

“God, Eddie, I’m trying not to be mad, okay, I was just so worried and I thought maybe there was something you were keeping from me or that maybe you were in an accident or even dead in a fucking ditch, and I know it’s ridiculous to get so worked up over only a few hours but--”

“You can be mad.” He interrupted the inevitable rambling that was about to commence.

You had always struggled to express emotions considering the household you grew up in, so these past two years with Eddie had been a learning experience for you, which led to your feelings often spilling over when they became overwhelming. You shot him a confused look, still struggling to this day with the idea that it was okay to feel something; you bit your tongue so that you wouldn’t keep babbling, trying to collect your thoughts.

“I should’ve told you where I was,” Eddie started, walking the short distance from the front door to the kitchen, gently dropping the grocery bag atop the counter, “but I wanted to surprise you.”

You laughed smally, feeling stupid for getting so worried over seemingly nothing. Shaking your head, you took a deep drag from the cigarette and turned to face the window, eyes unfocused as you looked around. You dropped your head, beginning to feel more and more stupid the more that you thought about it; you could hear Eddie coming up slowly behind you.

“Get out of your head,” He instructed gently, to which you laughed again, “You’re probably already kicking yourself, am I right? As if you did something wrong?”

You narrowed your eyes at his reflection in the window - fuck, he knew you too well. Slowly, you turned to face him again, but you kept your gaze on the floor. Eddie took another couple steps closer, waiting for you to eventually look up at him.

“I’m sorry, princess.” He said simply, and the pet name nearly caused you to smile fondly; even after all this time, it stuck, and you figured it wasn’t going anywhere. You could tell in his voice that Eddie saw you resisting to grin, “I should’ve called, I just got caught up in the surprise.”

The corner of your mouth pulled up, and you looked at Eddie carefully through your lashes; his smile was gentle and sweet, eyes far more adoring than you thought you really deserved. Swallowing your trepidation, you asked smally, “What surprise?”

Eddie’s smile grew larger as he cocked his head, “Your dual birthday-anniversary surprise.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, relief slowly relaxing your shoulders as you took a final small inhale of the cigarette before tossing it out the window, “My birthday is not our real anniversary and you know it.”

You smiled fondly at the memory of meeting each other at that picnic table behind the football field, at the crazy fake dating scheme you had that ultimately led you to where you were now. It felt like a lifetime again that senior year happened, and yet it still felt as if it was only yesterday.

“So maybe we have two anniversaries.” Eddie teased fondly, his eyes taking you in as if you were still a breath of fresh air to him. Under those soft, adoring eyes, you could feel your ears growing hot even still.

You sighed affectionately with a shake of your head, crossing your arms as a gust of wind came up through the window; being near the beach, the air was always unexpectedly cold at night. As you took in the always pleasant sight of Eddie, you realized he had a bandage just above his collarbone, which caused your brow to furrow with concern as you looked between it and his face.

“What happened?” You asked, closing the gap between you two so you could worry over whatever the hell was on his neck; you wondered if maybe he nicked himself shaving, but the bandage seemed far too large for that. Did he hurt himself at work?

As you reached for the bandage, Eddie laughed, capturing your wrists in his hands before you could touch his neck. You met his eyes with confusion, to which he simply shook his head.

“That’s the surprise.”

Your expression deadpanned, “You getting hurt is the surprise? Geez, babe, how romantic.”

Eddie laughed again, fondly rolling his eyes, “Not hurt in the way that you think.”

Clearly enjoying your confusion, Eddie released your grip and reached for the bandage, hissing a little as he tried to gently peel it off. Your jaw dropped in both surprise and confusion at the injury beneath it, not prepared for what it would be.

It was a tattoo, though that wasn’t the surprising part, considering that Eddie was slowly becoming covered in them. No, what took you aback was that the tattoo was quite clearly your lips, done in a shade almost identical to the lipstick color you’d been trying just the day before. You stared dumbly at it, as if you couldn’t quite compute it, as if you didn’t quite think it was real.

When you finally managed to draw your gaze back up to Eddie’s face, he was smiling from ear-to-ear, eyes twinkling with clear delight at your stunned expression. You opened and closed your mouth a couple of times as you tried to find your voice again, eyes rapidly looking back and forth from the tattoo to his face and back again.

“You… got a tattoo for me?” Your tone was one of disbelief; saying it out loud made the moment more real, and suddenly your throat felt tight as if you could cry.

Eddie nodded with pride, “You like it?”

You stared at the replica of your lips, recalling the evening prior when you’d been testing out make-up samples that you’d gotten from work. Eddie always enjoyed watching you apply make-up, and of course lipstick was his favorite part; when he commented on a shade that he seemed particularly fond of, you leaned over and planted a loud, silly kiss at the base of his neck.

Considering that you crawled out of bed hours before him to get to your shift at the make-up counter, you didn’t see whether or not he’d ever cleaned the lipstick off; evidently, he must have worn it like a badge of pride all day until he could finally get down to the tattoo parlor and make it permanent.

Shaking yourself from your reverie, you looked at Eddie lovingly, your eyes a little more wet; god, you’d gotten so much more emotional since he entered your life, it was nearly ridiculous. Or maybe you’d just become more vulnerable, far less skilled at holding back when it was just the two of you alone.

You cupped his cheeks gently, being extra careful not to go near the fresh tattoo, “God, I love you.”

The smile he gave you was dazzling, mesmerizing even, “I love you, princess.”

You drew his lips down to yours, resting your forehead gently to his; Eddie hummed contently, whispering a tender “happy birthday” against your lips before kissing you fiercely.

addt. a/n: I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Thank you to everyone who has read this fic and watched it grow, to those that have been commenting and messaging with each update, and to all the incredibly fic writers I've met through this story! And, of course, a HUGE THANK YOU to my dear @eddiernunson for being so invested - you've helped me developed so many ideas, and it's truly warmed my heart to see someone else love the ice princess as much as I do <3 If anyone would like to be tagged in any future outings these two may have in store, please let me know!

@3rd-conchord @a-queen-blr @adelalaaa @adversary713 @avalon-wolf

@costellation-hunter @daisy-munson @daisyridleyss @damon-loves-pie @damp4eddie

@dreamerjj @eddiernunson @feralgoblinbabe @frogtape @fromasgardandback

@fckyeahlames @graciehams @kellsck @kthomps914 @littlexdeaths

@lotrefcp @love-anonymous-writer @marrowfrog00 @maskofmirrors @mewchiili

@miaajaade @miss-celestial-being @mmmunson @moonisu @munsonssweets

@no-bueno-writer @nxrdamp @ollieolive @rach5ive @sapphire4082

@sav12321 @seatbacksandtraytables @sheneedsrocknroll92 @steeldaisies @stormgrl19

@teethvenom @tvserie-s-world @twihard28 @urlivingdeadgirl @v1per1ne

@wefracturedmotivation @welcometohellsock @whats-my-question @xxsxdghxstxx

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #em

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tanddiscord · 2 days ago

Text

Thank you. I'll add to this by saying, I spend a fair bit of time in right-wing spaces, out of curiosity and a few other considerations, (well, spent, I am currently not there, and will probably stay away for... a while. It's not exactly fun, and after the election I do not have it in me right now), despite being very heavily left myself... And there is almost no difference in rhetoric unless you dive into the deeper material on either side. Unless you're reading dissertations, or watching videos from big personalities, the rhetoric is exactly the same. Often, the phrasing is exactly the same. "Any woman that voted Trump is a brainwashed fool, selling their rights to someone that doesn't even see them as human." is something you could easily see on the left. "Any man that voted Harris is a brainwashed fool, selling their rights to someone that doesn't even see them as human." is something you could easily see on the right. You see the sentiments on both often enough. Want to know what the biggest, easiest-to-spot difference, in surface-level rhetoric in their own respective spaces, is? The right never talks about killing random women. The left can't shut up about killing random men. Of course, dig deeper, just a touch, and it all starts to change. You start to see how the specific policies being drafted on either side tell different stories, and let's just say the one on the left is far more palatable. But surface level? It's pretty one-sided, and not in our favour. The actual content of our politics, ideology and message is so much more inclusive and kind than the right's... But maybe let's try to show that through rhetoric and how we talk to/about people too? Call people out when you see them say shit like "kill all men". Because guess what. If someone on the right said "Kill all women" The response would likely be "Are you fucking retarded?" And we can do better than that. At least I hope so.

to the guy replying to that post about how much it hurts to be hated for being a man, for being perceived as dangerous

look, i fucking get it. i was exactly where you are when i was younger. this is exactly how i thought of myself before i transitioned.

i need you to understand that i was where you are now, and i would do pretty much anything to only deal with what you're dealing with.

i used to think all that stuff was hard. then a group of men followed me home in their car screaming slurs at me. i had to ask a manager to use the back door to escape a man who tried to hit me with his bike, then followed me to the store i was going to and waited by the door for me to come out. i had to sleep on the floor of the hotel room i was paying for because a cis person got uncomfortable.

and suddenly i was surrounded by even more vulnerable people confiding in me the much, much worse things that happened to them, things they were scared to bring up to the men in their lives.

i'm not saying it doesn't hurt to be hated.

what i am saying is that it is not fair that the hurt of men facing resentment is treated as an apocalyptic issue in need of immediate repair or else fascism is just the natural and normal answer, but the hurt of everyone else facing much more hate is business as usual, that even bringing it up is driving division and violence.

i'm saying it hurts us to be hated too.

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doeeyeseddie · 2 days ago

Note

Piaaaaaa "brushing their arm against the other's, hoping the other would finally catch their arm and hold it close" please, we already know they constantly brush arms anyway!

fridaaaa this took me, once again, many months to get to and i sort of only vaguely filled the actual prompt, but i hope you still enjoy it <3

5+1 things, rated t, wc: 4k

[read on ao3]

Eddie’s first day as a probationary firefighter is…interesting. Captain Nash welcomes him with the same warm smile he gave him the first time they talked, then leads him inside and shows him around the app bay.

“We’ll give you the full tour later,” he promises, “after you’ve met the rest of the team. You’re the first one here, if you want, you can change into your uniform now.”

He points towards the locker room – which has glass walls for some reason – and Eddie nods.

He’s just finished buttoning up his shirt when Captain Nash ushers a group of firefighters inside. Eddie runs a hand through his hair to make sure it’s tidy and smiles as Hen and Chimney introduce themselves to him with warm smiles and handshakes, welcoming him to the team.

There’s a third person with them, hovering in the background and glowering at Eddie. He’s young, probably around Eddie’s age, tall and very built, and despite his hostile expression, he doesn’t give Eddie the impression of being an asshole. It’s like the expression doesn’t fit on his face, like he’s not used to wearing it.

Chim grabs him by the arm and pushes him forward, giving Eddie a commiserating smile.

“And this guy is Buck,” he says. “He was our probie before you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Eddie says politely, stretching a hand out to offer a handshake. “You’ll have to show me how things work around here, then.”

Buck glowers down at his hand, and when he finally grabs it, he squeezes it too tightly, like he’s trying to prove something. Eddie squeezes back, amused by the pretense this guy is clearly putting on.

Behind Buck’s back, Hen rolls her eyes, but she’s also wearing a fond look, which only confirms Eddie’s assumption that Buck isn’t half as bad as he’s pretending to be.

From Captain Nash, he knows that they’re supposed to work together a lot of the time, so that’s gonna be interesting. He doesn’t know why Buck is acting like this, but he’s gonna find out, and then he’s gonna figure out a way to work with Buck anyway.

He didn’t come here to make friends, but he’ll be spending 50 hours a week with these people, and he has to trust them with his life for a lot of that time, so they at the very least need to bury whatever hatchet Buck is carrying right now.

Eddie lets go of his hand with a nod and a polite smile, and gives himself a week to figure Buck out.

II.

The days between the accident and the funeral are kind of a blur.

There’s too much to do and think about, too many decisions to make, too many people to call, too much to organize. He has help – Abuela, Pepa, the entire 118, but it still feels too much.

Shannon was 27, she didn’t have a will, they never talked about any of this. How is Eddie supposed to know how she would like to be buried, or if she’d rather be cremated? What kind of music she would want them to play at her funeral? This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not for a very, very long time.

But it did happen, and now Eddie is somehow supposed to know all this about her, his wife, the woman he’s only just let back into his and Christopher’s lives, the woman who asked him for a divorce and completely pulled the rug from under his feet just a day before she died.

Sometimes, he feels like he didn’t know her at all.

His parents are here “to help”, which should be a relief but really isn’t. They never liked Shannon and aren’t making a secret of it, even now that– now that she’s gone. So Eddie can’t involve them in the funeral planning, and he can’t even leave Christopher with them because he’s scared that they’re gonna take the opportunity to grab him and run, and someone needs to make sure that Shannon’s memory is honored, but she didn’t have any family except him and Christopher, and Chris is seven, so Eddie has to be the one to make this funeral beautiful, something she’d deserve, but he doesn’t know– there’s so much–

“Eddie,” someone says next to him, snapping him out of his spiral. “Come on, breathe with me.”

Eddie stares at Buck’s chest as it rises and falls with exaggerated breaths, trying to match him. When did Buck get here? He doesn’t remember letting him in, doesn’t really remember what he was doing before he started hyperventilating on his couch.

“Chris,” he gasps when he realizes that also means he’s not sure where his kid is. And of course he’s the kind of father who would do that only days after his kid lost his mom, maybe his parents are–

“Is with Hen and Karen,” Buck says firmly, grabbing his forearm. “He’s gonna spend the day with them and Denny, probably getting spoiled rotten. I borrowed Pepa’s key when we went over there so they could pick him up, she told me you might not open – sorry for barging in here, but I’m glad I did. I know you– I wanted to– Bobby and Athena are running interference with your parents. And I’m here to help you with all that.” He gestures towards the couch table that’s covered in forms, leaflets from funeral homes, and cards from grief counselors. “After Abby’s mom– I helped plan her funeral. So I’ve got some experience.”

Eddie just stares at him, biting the inside of his cheek hard to stop himself from crying. He trusts Buck, but he still doesn’t want to cry in front of him, doesn’t want to cry in front of anyone. But he does think that maybe he should give Buck his own copy of a key, so he won’t have to borrow Pepa’s next time.

Buck squeezes his forearm and gives him a small, sad smile. “We’re all here for you, Eddie. I got your back, remember?”

Eddie blinks against the tears in his eyes and swallows around the lump in his throat that’s keeping him from saying anything.

Instead, he twists his arm from Buck’s grip and grabs his hand instead, squeezing it in a silent thank you.

Buck squeezes back and keeps holding on.

III.

Buck gets to go home earlier than anyone expected, but Eddie has been to his new apartment, so he isn’t surprised when Buck texts him a picture of his couch with a sad face. It’s not ideal, but at least he has a bathroom downstairs and a girlfriend who can help if he struggles with anything.

Until he doesn’t have that girlfriend anymore.

Eddie doesn’t find out until after his shield ceremony, days after, actually, once his parents have finally gone home to Texas.

Buck says he’s fine, obviously, but Eddie starts going over every day he doesn’t have a shift anyway, because he knows Buck and can see how much he’s struggling with the whole situation, with the uncertainty of when and how he can return to work.

He brings Christopher most of the time. They’re not having the best summer either, Eddie still worries that he’s not doing enough to help Christopher deal with his grief, when he can barely keep his own head above the water of grief, guilt and fear.

Carla is doing what she can, watching Christopher whenever Eddie’s working, she found him a grief counselor and is even looking into more permanent therapists.

None of it changes the fact that they’re grieving.

But when Christopher gets to hang out with Buck, he lights up every time, and so does Buck, which makes this a two birds with one stone kind of situation. Hanging out with Buck helps them both, too, makes their grief not the first thing on their minds for a little while.

Buck can’t move much, so they play board games and try to find one they all enjoy equally – it’s not easy, since Eddie likes luck-based games (he plays poker with his abuela and tía whenever he can), Buck prefers trivia and games relying on knowledge, while Christopher likes strategic games most.

But everyone gets to pick sometimes, and when they don’t want to play board games, they switch to video games instead.

Eddie knew that Buck and Chris get along well, they have ever since the first time they met, when Buck drove Eddie to Chris’ school after the earthquake during Eddie’s second week at the 118. But with how much time the three of them are spending together now, he can see them growing closer every day – and he loves it.

Buck is his best friend, and he genuinely cares about Christopher in a way that feels completely independent from Eddie.

One evening, while they’re playing a few rounds of Christopher’s current favorite video game after dinner, the kid falls asleep between them on the couch.

Buck smiles down at him and lowers the volume of the TV, which means he loses even more clearly to Eddie, but he had the win in the bag anyway, he’s sure.

Buck rolls his eyes at him when Eddie celebrates his victory with big, silent gestures, but he’s smiling, too.

Eddie grins at him, resting his arm on the back of the couch behind Chris, and Buck twists a little to face him. His leg, resting outstretched on the couch table in front of them, moves with him, and Eddie slides Christopher’s glass of water out of the way in a practiced move.

“I know you’re here to keep an eye on me,” Buck says, “and I should probably be annoyed. I– I was kind of annoyed, at first. But it’s hard to stay annoyed when he’s here, right?” He nods down at Christopher. “And I guess you’re okay, too.”

“Wow, thanks,” Eddie says, but he knows his glare isn’t convincing. “To be clear, we’re all keeping an eye on each other.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Buck reaches for Eddie’s hand, still on the backrest between them, and squeezes it – just for a moment, like he’s trying to get Eddie’s attention, like he doesn’t already have it anyway. “Thanks.”

IV.

Everything sucks.

It’s the uncertainty that gets to Eddie most, the not knowing how to help, how to stay safe, how to keep his loved ones safe. How long this is gonna last.

Every day, they have to see people die from a virus they know nothing about, and can’t do anything against.

And afterwards, they can’t even go home.

Christopher is part of a high risk group, and Eddie risks exposure at work every day, so obviously, he can’t endanger him by living with him. Chimney feels the same way about Maddie, and Hen also wants to keep her family safe, which is how the three of them ended up at Buck’s apartment, where they’ve been camped out for the past three weeks.

It’s generous of Buck to let them all stay with him, but the loft is not made for four people to live there, and they’re all feeling it.

Eddie loves his friends, but spending every minute of every day with them is starting to wear on him. They all try to give each other space, using the balcony as an extra room or going for runs outside, but there’s only so much they can do.

He hates being separated from Chris, it makes him feel like he’s breaking his promise to never leave him behind again. Christopher says he understands, but Eddie worries anyway. He trusts Pepa, who’s working fully remote and offered to stay with Chris, and they talk every day, but it’s not the same as being there.

Whenever he talks to Chris on the phone, he feels better in the moment, but worse the second they hang up. While they’re talking, he can almost pretend that things are normal, but it all comes crashing down afterwards.

He hasn’t hugged his son in weeks, and he has no idea when he’s even gonna see him in person again.

Buck joins their calls most of the time, at least for a few minutes, and he sits next to Eddie on the bed now, shoulders slumped where they’re touching Eddie’s. In a world where he has to keep his distance from almost everyone, except the patients he’s treating and the people he’s living with, touching and being touched by Buck is a real comfort.

“This won’t be forever, Eddie,” he says, almost desperately.

“But for how long?” Eddie asks, and it comes out sounding a little wobbly.

He’s not embarrassed by it anymore – Buck’s seen him in all kinds of situations, and they’re currently sharing a bed, so he’s seen him cry anyway.

“I–I wish I knew,” Buck says. “I wish I could– fix this.”

Eddie wipes at his eye and laughs a little. “The whole pandemic?”

“If I could, yeah.” Buck shrugs.

Eddie presses even closer to him for a moment, a gentle pressure of their shoulders, arms and thighs against each other. “I wish you could, too. But even if you can’t – I’m glad you’re here.”

“Of course.” Buck smiles at him and places his hand on Eddie’s thigh, palm up.

Eddie smiles back and grabs his hand, squeezing tightly.

“Okay,” he says, taking a deep breath. “I think it’s our turn to make dinner tonight – you ready?”

“Ready when you are,” Buck says, but he doesn’t let go until Eddie does.

After Chris has gone to sleep, after Eddie has finally stopped crying, after Buck has wrapped his knuckles and cleaned up the worst of the mess in Eddie’s bedroom – the shards, the pieces of drywall, the fallen furniture, he makes up the couch for Eddie to sleep on. Eddie wants to help him, to tell him that he’ll just sleep in his room, but he can’t seem to move from his seat at the dining table.

Everything feels like too much, his hands hurt and his head worse, and he can’t stand the thought of Buck leaving. He’s exhausted, but he knows he won’t sleep if Buck goes home now.

But he can’t ask him to stay, not after Buck already dropped everything because Eddie couldn’t keep it together. He probably had plans, and Eddie ruined those too.

He can already feel the hot burn of tears behind his eyes again and drops his forehead onto his arms, folded on the table in front of him.

Buck’s hand lands on his back, warm, then travels up to squeeze the back of his neck gently.

“You ready to sleep?” he murmurs, and Eddie makes a noncommittal sound. “Come on, you must be exhausted.”

Eddie shrugs and Buck’s thumb brushes along his hairline.

“You don’t have to go in there, I can get you anything you need,” Buck says quietly. “And I’ll be right next to you in case you have a nightmare.”

“You’re staying?” Eddie asks, lifting his head. Buck’s hand stays where it is.

“Of course, Eddie,” Buck says, like it’s that easy.

And maybe it is that easy, Eddie thinks when they settle in next to each other in the living room, Eddie on the couch and Buck on a makeshift bed next to it. He’s pushed the couch table to the side to make room for it and it looks like he’s dragged Eddie’s mattress here, so at least Eddie doesn’t need to worry about him sleeping on the floor.

They’ve been by each other’s side through so much shit, maybe it’s not such a surprise that Buck wants to be here now too. He’s just not sure he deserves it.

“I’m sorry,” he says, staring up at the ceiling instead of looking at Buck. “You had plans– I’m sure you didn’t want to–”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Buck says firmly. “Of course I’ll come whenever Christopher calls. O–or if you need me. I’m here, okay?”

“I keep thinking about her,” Eddie mumbles, pressing the heels of his hands to his burning eyes. “Mills. Last August– I should’ve– if I’d picked up the phone earlier–”

“This isn’t on you.” There’s rustling and then Buck is gripping Eddie’s forearms, trying to gently pull his hands away from his face. “I d-don’t know what Mills was going through, but I know that you couldn’t have known how bad it was. It’s sad, and it’s unfair, but it’s not your fault. And I know you’re feeling all these things now, but Eddie– I’m so happy you’re still here. I need you to– know that. Okay?”

Eddie finally lowers his arms, but instead of letting go fully, Buck just grabs his right hand and holds on. His eyes are wide and scared, and Eddie has scared too many people he loves tonight.

“Okay,” he says, even though– well. What makes him special? Why should he be the only one to get out? He’s not a better person than any of them, he doesn’t have a right to happiness or whatever he’s been deluding himself into believing he could have.

But he knows that he can’t tell Buck that now (or ever), knows that it’s a dark road to go down.

Maybe for tonight, with Buck by his side, he can keep the thoughts at bay for a little bit longer. After that– he has no idea. But Buck is still holding his hand, and Eddie may not deserve him, but he trusts him.

He thinks it may just give him enough hope to get through this night.

+ I

“This was nice,” Buck says, holding the door for Eddie as they leave the restaurant. “You, uh, you really didn’t have to pay, though.”

“I wanted to,” Eddie says with a smile, glancing right towards their cars and then left to where the beach is only a short walk away, and finally back to Buck’s face, finding him already looking back. “How do you feel about taking a walk?”

Buck grins, turning left. “Let’s go.”

They’re not on a date, or at least they haven’t called it that, but Eddie has been thinking that it feels like one all night. Technically, they’re two friends trying out a new restaurant together. They drove here separately, no one pulled anyone’s chair out, they talked the same way they always do.

But Eddie spent half an hour picking something to wear tonight, Buck is wearing a shirt that looks new and gorgeous and fit for a date, and every time their eyes caught across the table, Eddie thought that maybe, Buck wouldn’t pull away if he reached out and took his hand.

It’s not the first time Eddie has thought that. Ever since Buck and Tommy broke up, it’s felt like maybe they’re heading towards something, familiar touches lingering and turning into something new, gazes catching and then holding instead of looking away.

Buck was upset for a little while afterwards, but he admitted to Eddie that it was more about another failed relationship – and his first one with a man, after he thought he’d finally figured out what was missing, than about Tommy as a person.

He went on a couple of dates, with men and women, but nothing ever stuck.

Eddie was going through his own stuff at the time – he eventually came out to Buck a week before Chris finally came home, and Buck hasn’t been on a date since.

Sometimes, Eddie wonders (hopes), if the two things are related.

Still, neither of them has called tonight a date – yet.

Eddie glances at Buck’s profile while they’re walking, and wonders what he’s waiting for.

Yes, it’s scary because Buck is the most important person in his life right after Christopher, but it’s also not, because this is Buck. Who has been by Eddie’s side through the worst, most painful, most humiliating times of his life, and is still here. Buck, who Eddie trusts with his life, and his son, and his heart.

Buck smiles at him and Eddie smiles back, heartbeat picking up. He’s doing this, he’s gonna tell Buck how he feels. Any minute now, he’s gonna be brave enough.

“Hey,” Buck says, “it’s just me.”

“I know,” Eddie says, and his heart thumps against his ribs. He lets his fingers brush against Buck’s on their next swing and watches as Buck bites his lip, smiling down at the ground. Hushed, like a confession, he adds, “Are you nervous, too?”

Buck looks back up at him then, eyes glittering in the dark. “Y-yeah. I am.”

They’ve reached the edge of the beach by now and bend down to take off their shoes without having to talk about it.

When they start walking again, they’re even closer than before, the backs of their hands, their elbows and shoulders all brushing with every step.

Eddie keeps stealing glances at Buck, and almost every time, Buck is already looking back.

There aren’t many people at the beach at this time of day, so they don’t come close to anyone else, and all they hear is the sand beneath their feet and the waves crashing a few feet away. The moon is big enough to be reflected on the sea, a beautiful sight, but Eddie still can’t look away from Buck for long.

“So, this is, uh, kind of romantic,” Buck blurts out after a few quiet minutes. “Right? I–I’m not misreading that?”

“No,” Eddie says. “I mean– you’re not misreading it.”

“But you’re nervous.”

When their knuckles brush again, Eddie stretches out his fingers and catches Buck’s, holding on. Buck’s own fingers tighten immediately, and it gives Eddie the last bit of courage he needs.

“Well, yeah. Buck–” He stops walking, and Buck follows, turning so he’s facing Eddie. He’s close enough that Eddie can see his expression despite the dark, and he looks terrified, hopeful, nervous and excited at the same time, all of which Eddie feels, too. Eddie takes a deep breath. “I’m nervous because– nothing…no one’s ever been this important.”

A smile spreads out across Buck’s face, slowly deepening the crinkles around his eyes. “So this was a date?”

“Did it feel like one to you, too?”

Buck’s smile widens. “Yeah, i–it did. And I’m–I’m nervous too, of course. Eddie, if we do this, there’s no going back for me. I can’t– lose you. You and Christopher, you’re too important.”

He pulls on Eddie’s hand a little, and Eddie takes another step closer, drops his shoes in the sand and places his free hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb resting against his collarbone.

“It’s the same for me,” he says quietly. He shivers when Buck grabs his waist, the warmth of his hand seeping through Eddie’s shirt. “I– We don’t know what’s gonna happen. But, Buck– I love you. I love you so much, I have for…way longer than I was aware of it, and I just don’t see that going away. And I don’t think it’s fair to us to deny ourselves when I really think we could make each other– so happy. I know I can make you happy, and I want to prove it to you every day of my life, Buck.”

Buck is just staring at him with a dazed expression, his lips slightly parted, and Eddie suddenly can’t stand not kissing him for a second longer.

He slides his hand from Buck’s shoulder to the back of his neck, watches Buck’s eyes flutter shut and feels his fingers tighten on his waist, and then he’s finally, finally closing the distance between them.

Buck makes a soft sound against his mouth, like he’s still somehow surprised this is happening, but he gets on board very quickly, and Eddie stops thinking entirely.

When they pull back breathlessly, Eddie’s hair is a mess – he can feel the loose strands on his forehead – his lips are still tingling, and Buck’s got both arms wrapped around him tightly.

“In case that wasn’t clear,” Buck gasps, and lifts a hand to cup Eddie’s cheek. His thumb brushes over Eddie’s chin and caresses his lower lip, and Eddie presses a kiss to the pad of it. “I love you, too.”

#buddie #911 #buddie fic #911fic #pia writes #ask #leothil #frida tag

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crescent-blades · 2 days ago

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Father!Kokushibo | Part II

Pairings⌇Kokushibō and his child [c/n], & Kokushibō × wife!Reader. Warnings⌇Refusing to eat or drink/starvation, overexertion

A/N⌇If any of you have seen the earlier version of this, you might notice that this is a bit of a repost. The reason I'm sharing it again is that tumblr apparently hates me and won't let me save that post after adding a few things. So, I figured it would just be easier to just put this out there again, lol.

𖤐ˎˊ˗Masterlist ⌇Part: 1

▪︎Kokushibō would begin training his child; being the strongest and most experienced samurai in history, you could bet that the teachings would be of the highest quality.

▪︎Along with weilding the katana, Kokushibō would also be adamant that his child received a proper education. For that, he would entrust you to teach the child to read and write properly, how to write poems [he could step in if you aren't good at it], and whatnot.

▪︎If you had a daughter, Kokushibō would rely on you to guide her in proper conduct. On the other hand, if you had a son, he would take it upon himself to teach him. [Considering his traditional beleifs]

▪︎There would be many things Kokushibō would teach your child—introducing anything and everything he could. One of which included—

"Here.. I wanted to share this with you.."

▪︎'Go'. Aside from all the trainings and whatnot, Kokushibō would enjoy spending time playing strategic board games with his young one. He didn't just play; he carefully watched every move his child made, trying to understand their thought process. This way, he could anticipate their strategies, pushing them further to think even more critically.

▪︎Kokushibō would provide feedback on every move his child made. If there was a mistake, he would express his disappointment, at times suggesting alternative strategies and what else could have been done. On the other hand, if the move was clever, he would offer praise.

▪︎Despite this, Kokushibō always found a way to twist the game in his favour, making it nearly impossible to win against him each time.

▪︎Kokushibō would not only be a father but also a teacher, quick to teach your young one.

▪︎Unlike his own father, Kokushibō would be much more understanding. He would be strict in terms of his child's behaviour, how they conducted themselves, and even in the way of the sword. However, he would also allow them the freedom to explore their interests and to do whatever they wished, recognising the limitations he faced during his own upbringing.

▪︎As for the breathing styles, Kokushibō would ideally want his child to learn sun breathing, but since he couldn't master it himself, he would opt to teach them moon breathing instead. If the child wasn't strong enough, he would be disappointed but wouldn't mind too much. In fact, he would encourage them to perfect their breathing techniques no matter what style they used.

▪︎Kokushibō's approach to training was quite rigorous. He pushed his child to their limits with each exercise, ensuring that consistency and discipline were maintained. While he provided the training, the actual learning and understanding were left to his child. He didn't believe in spoon-feeding knowledge. After all, it was important for them to grow to be independent and make their own decisions.

▪︎Many a times, Kokushibō would take your child to fight demons and train with them [perhaps even fight a hashira if they encountered one]. He would stand back in the distance and observe them silently. He would not intervene in any way; whatever decisions the child made were theirs and not his; each mistake was a lesson, something he would remind them of after the fight, incorporating those lessons into their training for improvement.

▪︎Kokushibō would nurture and raise his child in such a way that they would be disciplined and incredibly determined, striving for excellence much like their own father.

▪︎Speaking of determined, there was a time, however, when your child would not eat or drink, training and pushing themselves to the maximum, which caused you a great deal of concern. Kokushibō, however, appeared rather unfazed by this, expressing that it was commendable how seriously his child was taking the art of swordsmanship and that he even felt moved.

▪︎But then those few hours stretched into many, and nearly a whole day had passed without your child taking even a sip of water. This was the moment when Kokushibō would finally step in—

"Enough.."The demon stood beside his child, his six eyes fixed intently on them. The child was bleeding from their hands, their muscles worn out and pushed to the limit. "No.. I must not give up..!" Just as the child prepared to swing the wooden sword again, before they could even react, the sword would suddenly be snatched and tossed aside, landing far from reach. "There.. is no benefit in continuing. Your body.. has already reached it's maximum exertion. Whatever you are practicing now is pointless.. rest now and continue tomorrow." "But I need to perfect my—" "You are doing yourself more harm than good.. the state you are in.. you will not be able to practice tomorrow.. an entire day.. would be wasted. It would disrupt your progress. Is that.. what you want?"

▪︎In conclusion, Kokushibō would definitely be a strict father . This means you might find yourself being the more nurturing parent.

▪︎But that is not to say he cannot be compassionate; deep down, he holds great love for his child. His strictness stems from the fact that he wants to see his child excel and be the utmost best; even surpass him one day.

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verdantwyrm · 3 days ago

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On that topic though, I would like to touch more on the subject of Jimmy being also a victim to himself. I fear this might anger a lot of people, but Jimmy is an almost exact perfect example of someone with BPD (As someone with it myself) and how his spiralling is directly tied to Curly.

The game never once insinuates that Jimmy is like this because he's mentally ill, the line of him having it "hard" back on earth doesn't mean anything either, but it also means a lot coming from Curly. Curly is a representative of a Favorite person, and everything Jimmy did in the game, who he hurt, how he did it and the language he used, is very close to how real-life people with BPD sometimes treat their own FPs and the people around them.

They become erratic, jealous, driven by fear, apologetic, desperate and cling to everything and everything. Jimmy insults Curly, twists his words and makes him out the be the villain, he drives everyone away from him at the birthday party and spends months feeding lies to the others that Curly is the one that crashed the ship despite this lie not actually really benefitting Jimmy all that much in the long run.

Jimmy wanted to kill everyone on the ship, he could have lied and instead said that it was simply a fault of the ship, a miscalculation, an accident. Instead, he took every opportunity to make Curly out to be the one who ultimately decided that this was the best way to go about it, and then also blamed it on Curly's mental health dropping after being fired.

This is all extremely elaborate, and a very difficult lie to keep up with, as almost everyone on that ship has plenty of reasons to believe otherwise that Curly didn't crash the ship. What with Anya's psych eval of him being "the same as usual" and being sane enough to continue doing his job. Anya also trusted Curly enough to tell him about the pregnancy, and to also tell him about the gun. And even though it's not very well expressed in the game (possibly intentional since we are seeing through Jimmy's eyes.) She does trust Curly, and she probably continued to trust him even when all was wrong around her.

And Daisuke also has no real reason to distrust Curly, we don't know much about their relationship, but there was definitely a sense of trust and reliability between the both of them. This is also evident through Swansea and Curly, where Curly trusts him enough to hold onto the axe, despite being told to return it to the case as everything has to constantly run through him. He was taking risks, he was terrified of being abandoned, left behind in Curly's shadow. He was having fits of rage, outbursts of suicidal thoughts and harm to himself and to those around him.

Jimmy twisted and kept twisting that knife in an attempt to turn away everyone from Curly even when he was at his lowest to isolate and to make him cling to the only thing he had left; Jimmy.

This adds even more to Curly's eventual condition, being completely reliant on Jimmy, being completely subject to his will and power. And something that he even admitted to liking, he likes power. And he likes that the circumstances given, might not have turned out the best way, it gave Jimmy that power over Curly. Something he had been climbing for a long time, and something he so desperately wanted because he was sick and tired of hearing just how fantastic he was at something Jimmy wasn't.

And yet, despite all of this, Jimmy praised Curly. He hated how much he adored him, hated how much he idolised him. And even at the end of it all, his main focus was just Curly, making him out to be the hero of the story despite spending such a long time attempting to make him out to be the villain.

And then even further to make the situation out to be that he was also the hero of the story, that all of his actions were justified to some degree because it was all for Curly. He fixed it, he fixed everything for Curly. Because despite what he did to Anya, Swanse and Daisuke, his only real concern behind all of it was Curly.

Every hallucination leads to him, every goal, every path. He was so concerned with him, that even when it was directly in his face, the only apology he ever muttered was to Curly. Using Anya's words.

Our worst moments don't make us monsters.

Jimmy is a victim of only himself and the consequences of his own actions, and he is by far one of the better, unintentional examples of BPD.

#mouthwashing curly #mouthwashing jimmy #mouthwashing anya #mouthwashing #mouthwashing swansea #mouthwashing daisuke #i hate to admit it but he is just. a really good example of bpd #bpd #just me yapping

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idkwhatimdoinghere1655 · 2 days ago

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Something Else - Lando Norris

<word count - 8614> |part 1 - Nerd|part 2 - Rumours|part 3 - So Special|

warnings: more maths, biology, bitches

That night, Lando spent his evening in his room, procrastinating. He had homework to do, but he couldn't bring himself to sit at his desk and pick up his pen. Plus, he could just do it with you tomorrow, anyway.

The excitement that he felt as a result of getting to sit with you again, getting to spend time with you again was unlike anything else he had ever felt. It was like he was a young child on Christmas Eve, unable to wait for the next morning to roll around so that they could see what Santa had brought them.

His whole family could see a clear shift in his mood, since they had grown so accustomed to moody, sad Lando over the past couple of days. All he wanted to do was get to school the next day just so that he could get to second break and meet you in the library - and that was something he never thought he'd say.

Lando had also made his mind up that tomorrow, he was going to ask for your snap. Or your number. Having your number felt a lot more personal and serious than just having your Snapchat. He had a lot of people's snaps, but not many people's numbers. But he wanted yours.

He wanted to save the conversations you'd have, he wanted to be able to call you when he got home from school and talk to you until he couldn't keep his eyes from drooping shut and then do it all again the next day until he could spend his weekends with you.

Lando truly was the epitome of a love-sick teenage boy, pining after a girl who he wasn't even sure who wanted him back. You had to though, right? You wore his jumpers, you helped him with his work, he drove you home, hell you hugged each other.

Meanwhile, you were happy, just not to the scale that Lando was. You were confused, to say the least. You didn't think that everything was just automatically going to blow over just because you had stuck up for yourself once, and the fact that you had was surprising to you.

But you didn't know if you could keep on standing up for yourself, remembering how you had just broken down in front of Lando and felt like a complete idiot. It also baffled you how... understanding, he had been.

He didn't laugh, didn't tell you to get a grip, he didn't stand there awkwardly - well, he did but he had the right intentions. He had hugged you. I mean, what teenage boy hugs a girl that they're friends with when she's crying?

Despite the jokes he sometimes made, he clearly had an old head on young shoulders. The maturity that he had showed made you like him more, if you were being honest. How much you like him was obvious to you at this point.

You'd always been able to appreciate his face, but now it was more than that. You wanted to spend time with him, sit with him, just be near him. You wanted to laugh at his jokes, hear his voice, make him laugh.

Yet there was always the fear. If you were actually together, what other rumours would people spout? How much worse would it get? Sure, you'd have Lando there by your side, and you knew he'd stick up for you, but how much more could you take?

Was your adoration of him enough to cancel out everything people said?

Alas, the next morning, you had the courage to get on the bus instead of having to walk the freezing journey to school. Lando wasn't there, but you weren't upset by it. Max and his friends also didn't say anything, which was... weird, but you chose to ignore it.

That and the weird feeling of dread that you had in your gut.

Anyway, you walked into school, actually going to the canteen instead of the toilets or the lockers in fear of people talking to you. As you sat down at the table you usually did, the people that filtered in gave you weird looks.

It almost looked remorseful, maybe something along the lines of pity? They spoke in hushed whispers around you, none of them making the effort to speak to you. You just scrolled on your phone as you sat there, your headphones in your ears.

You could hear the faint chatterings of the other people in your year, but you were more focused on your phone. Eventually, the people in the canteen fell silent, the light buzzing of their conversations dying down as the doors opened.

Out of curiosity, you looked up to see Lilly, strutting into the room. You knew something was amiss, but you had no clue what it was. People looked between you and her, and you were so confused as to what was going on.

To make the atmosphere worse, Lando walked in after her a few seconds later, and you saw how come people's eyes went wide. Lando smiled at you before taking himself over to his friends, and Lilly went to her own table.

"Mate, is it true?" Max asked Lando, and all he could do was roll his eyes. He had heard the sentence a lot of time recently, and he could only assume that he was about to hear some bullshit. But what Max said nearly made his heart stop.

"Did you cheat on Y/N with Lilly?"

Now that was a question that had a lot to unpack. To start off with, there was no way he could've cheated on you since you weren't together, that was the first major thing that he went through in his head.

The second thing was that it was a stupid question; he'd never cheat on you. If you were his, he wouldn't risk losing you over something so stupid and hurtful as cheating. If you were his, he'd never have the desire to be with anyone else. If you were his, he'd be the best damn boyfriend he could've possibly been.

Thirdly, it was already established that he wouldn't cheat to begin with, but certainly not with Lilly. God, even the sound of her name in his head made him want to throw up. He knew she had a massive crush on him, but he'd never stoop that low.

"Who the fuck said that?" he rushed, his tone not lacking urgency.

"I don't know where it came from, Will told me this morning," Max sheepishly said, not missing the alarm in Lando's voice. He knew his friend had been having a hard time lately - and he was a participant. But he also knew that it was going to get worse from now.

"Oh my christ," he mumbled, getting up nearly as quickly as he had sat down. Lando had spotted Will going over to the lockers earlier, and he hoped he was still there. You saw his face, the look on it.

There was no emotion on his features other than rage, and you still didn't know what was going on. As he left, people carried on looking between you and Lilly, and you could only assume that it was something to do with her.

"Will," Lando said, spotting the blonde boy fiddling with dials on his locker.

"Hey Lando! What's-" he cheerily started, but he stopped when he saw Lando's face. He knew what he was asking about. "What's up, mate?" he asked, not even knowing if he wanted to find the answer out in the end.

"What did you tell Max? About me 'cheating' on Y/N?"

Will was internally cursing Max for telling Lando that he had been the one to spread the message around the friend group, and he was nothing short of terrified of Lando right now. "I just told him what Maisie told me," he quietly said.

"And what did Maisie tell you?" Lando prompted.

"She just said that things weren't great between you and Y/N and that you apparently spent last night with Lilly..." he trailed off, and the pieces all fell into place in his head. Lilly.

She had surely been the one to spread it around her friends, who were the gossipers of the school. He should've known it would be her, especially after how she had spoken to you and about you when he was listening.

He wasn't going to bother going to Maisie and asking her what Lilly had said, but he knew Lilly would just spout pure and utter bullshit to him and it'd be a waste of time trying to get the truth out of her. At least Maisie would be easy to intimidate the veracities of the story out of.

Lando needed to get to the bottom of this, preferably before first period so you wouldn't spend your lesson upset. It was naive to think that this wouldn't get back to you before that point, but he would be a lot more relieved if he could tell you what was going on before you got upset.

"You absolute idiot, you know that Y/N and I aren't together, and you sure as hell know that I wouldn't touch that bitch with a 10 foot barge pole!" Lando spat, taking himself away from will before he did something he'd regret.

Meanwhile, you were still in the dark about everything that was going on. Until now. "Hey... erm... I'm really sorry to hear about what Lando did. It's really shitty. Especially with Lilly. I guess we all should've seen it coming," someone came up to you and said.

It was one of the usually shy girls, so it was surprising to see her come and talk to you out of the blue. "What are you talking about?" you asked, and her mouth dropped.

"You don't know what he did?" she asked, suddenly feeling like this was the single worst idea she had had in at least the last five years.

"What did he do?" you replied, thinking that Lando had done or said something that was instantly going to ruin the reconciliation that you had both made yesterday. You really hoped that it wasn't something he had done, because you didn't think you could handle that volume of feelings again.

"With... Lilly... you know... cheated..." she mumbled, avoiding your eyes and looking at the freshly buffed canteen floor.

"Lando can't cheat if we were never together to begin with," you coldly said, your voice betraying no emotion. For some reason, the word 'cheated' sent a pang of hurt through your body, but you couldn't quite decipher why.

Maybe it was just the mere idea of Lando cheating on you that sent your heart into a spiral, but there was certainly something about it that hurt. And with Lilly? Ha, that was funny. As if he'd do that... or would he?

Oh here came the doubt, the questioning, the lack of reasoning. Lando would never cheat on you. Never. He was not that kind of guy, and you couldn't even see him thinking of it, let alone actually doing it. But you weren't even together so it didn't matter.

"Oh... I... erm... sorry..." she trailed off, scurrying away from you before you had chance to say anything else. Now you knew why everyone was giving you looks and whispering about you. They all believed that you and Lando were together from the first set of rumours, and now it seemed perfectly plausible that he had cheated on you. Just great.

In the interim, Lando skulked down the hall, before spotting Maisie just before she reached the canteen. "Maisie!" he called out, jogging up to catch her. The girl's face absolutely fell when she saw Lando, and she was clearly of the knowledge that she was in some deep shit.

"Look, I only know what Lilly told me, OK?" she said, and he could have laughed at how scared she was.

"Which was...?"

"That things between you and Y/N were rocky, to say the least. Apparently she was too boring, too square for you. So you called Lilly and... you know." Maisie explained. The implication in her words wasn't lost on Lando, and he could feel the hot sears of fury building up in his stomach and spreading through his veins.

"And you believed it? You really fucking believed a word that she said? Are you seriously that naive?" he grovelled through gritted teeth, really trying not to lose his temper with the cowardly girl in front of him.

Maisie was scared. Terrified, even. "She's my friend... I..." she stuttered, unable to meet his eyes.

"Well she shouldn't be, get better friends. She is nothing but a lying, manipulative, awful person that you'll be better off getting rid of sooner rather than later," he told Maisie, leaving her awestruck at what he had said.

Now all Lando had to do was find the single thing that had caused him the most distress as of recent: Lilly.

He had seen her in the canteen, and he assumed that she'd still be there. Pushing past Maisie, he stormed into the room, and you knew he knew. You had instantly jumped to the conclusion that Lilly had been the one to spread the rumours, and now it seemed that Lando was trying to resolve the issue.

"Lilly what the fuck are you playing at?" he sneered, leaning over the table and towering over her. The smirk on her face looked proud of what she'd done, and it pissed him off even more than he already was, if that was possible.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you watching him. He knew you knew, and he was going to go to every length that he could to make sure that you weren't upset by this, by her. "Not my fault she was too vanilla for you," she laughed, her friends grinning along.

"Too vanilla? Are you out of your fucking mind? I'd rather be dead than touch you!" Lando near on yelled, people averting their eyes to him as his voice raised slightly.

"Not what you were saying last night..." she chided in a sing song tone, and Lando was about 2 seconds away from losing his cool.

"Well then let me make it quite clear. I would never ever want to be anywhere near you, got it? Now stop making shit up that everyone knows isn't true just because no one actually likes you. Y/N doesn't, your friends don't, no one around here does, and I sure as hell don't," he ranted, and Lilly's confidence faltered.

He could see the slight expression of jealousy on her face, since she knew deep down that her efforts of being with Lando were proving futile. There was also some semblance of hurt there, since it was never nice to be verbally berated by the boy you had a crush on.

"And what makes her so special, eh? Her drab personality? The fact that she's a complete suck up? Her lack of friends? Or is it just because she's clever?" she spat back, her tone not lacking that familiar snark that she was famous for.

"She's a hell of a lot more than you'll ever be. If I hear one more lie come from your mouth, your life around here will be hell," Lando finished, moving across the canteen to go and sit with his friends: who had all been watching the ordeal from afar.

He hadn't noticed, but pretty much everyone in the year was watching the argument. Even you, sitting at your table by the wall, were dumbfounded. As Lando sat down, you could see how he was trying to seem all cool, calm and collected like he normally was.

But, you could see the faint inklings of his anger still lingering on the surface, and you were sure they'd be there for the rest of the day. You were pissed off too, but you couldn't help but feel a small smidgen of upset too.

You didn't want to be upset, not by Lilly, never by Lilly. Yet you were. That sad feeling that you'd had over the past couple of days was creeping back in, as much as you were willing it to go away so that you could carry on as if this had never happened.

Cutting through the light chatter, the bell rang out that signalled that you should go to first period. You spent your hour in history not really concentrating on the details of the Cuban Missile Crisis, more on what Lilly had said.

Something about the words ran deeper than they ought to have, and it was like an itch you couldn't quite scratch. "Y/N, who was it that met with Anatoly Dobrynin to secretly resolve the crisis?" your teacher interrupted, pushing you momentarily off the path that your mind was taking you down.

"Erm..." you stuttered, and something that resembled concern flashed in your teacher's eyes. You were normally so on the ball, always switched on and tuned into lessons. But, he wouldn't hold it against you that you were zoned out once.

He had never ever seen you not paying attention, so he'd let it slide. Just before he said the answer, it popped into your head. You seemed to remember reading about it in your textbook once, but it might not have been right. "Robert Kennedy?" you said, and a soft smile found its way onto his face.

"Yes, well done," he nodded, and you were off the hook for now. You could go back to your little daydreams about everything that had gone on in the morning. Or day-mares. You weren't quite sure.

First break and second period went by, and you remembered that you said you'd help Lando with his biology. The anxiety that you used to feel about seeing Lando was crawling through you, feeling almost like a hand wrapped around your neck.

You were at the library first, as usual. You didn't have biology today, but you had brought your text book just so you could fill in any of the gaps in your own knowledge before attempting to teach Lando any of it.

You weren't actually sure what about anatomy he was wanting to learn or if that was just a joke, but you thought it would be better to be prepared. The chair in front of you was pulled out, and Lando sat down with a big grin on his face.

He was trying to be normal, but he was scrutinising your every move to see if you were OK. "Hey," he smiled, rummaging through his bag to get out his crumpled work book and biology textbook. "So, tell me about that cycle thing," he said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, ready to listen to you.

"The menstrual cycle?" you pressed, since there were many cycles he could have been referring to. Plus, it was funny to see the flush of red on his cheeks and the way the tips of his ears turned pink when he was embarrassed.

Lando may have been a mature boy when it came to your emotions, but he was just like the rest of them when it came to talking about slightly awkward topics like periods. "Erm... yeah. That one." he confirmed.

"OK, so, what you need to know about are the 4 hormones. You've got LH, oestrogen, progesterone and FSH. FSH causes the maturing of the egg in the ovary, LH triggers ovulation, which is the release of the egg into the uterus. Oestrogen repairs and thickens the uterus lining, and progesterone maintains the uterus lining." you explained, and Lando tried to be an active listener by nodding his head as you spoke.

"Sure, yeah, I can remember that," he nodded. "You'll probably have to explain it a few times to me, but I can remember that. It isn't so hard," he reassured, but it sounded like he was telling himself more than he was telling you.

"So from that, try some practice questions, and then we can fill in any gaps after, yeah?" you said, taking his textbook and flicking through the pages until you found the practice questions at the end of the chapter on the menstrual cycle.

"Yes ma'am," he jokingly saluted, picking up his pen and looking after the questions. "Do you have some paper?" he asked, clearly not having brought any. You just rolled your eyes at him, ripping a sheet out of your notebook for him. "Thanks, you're the best," he winked at you, his eyes moving down to the paper on the table before he could spot you blushing.

God was he charming. As Lando distracted himself with getting on with the practice questions, you figured you might as well finish your physics homework that you had been given in second period. It wouldn't take you long if you concentrated.

But it was hindered by that small feeling of anxiety again. Anxiety of being here with Lando. Lilly's words echoed in your head again, and the stab of pain didn't become any less stinging as you thought about it.

'Her drab personality?' You knew you weren't the most egregiously outgoing person in the world, or the most funny, but you didn't think you were drab, per se. Maybe just reserved. The people that had put the time in to get to know you seemed to find you funny.

Well, Lando seemed to find you funny. That had to count for something, right? You didn't have to be overly loud or obnoxious just to have a personality, but you were in high school, so maybe you did.

'The fact that she's a complete suck up?' You wouldn't say you were exactly a suck up, you just liked doing well in your lessons, it was as simple as that. You didn't like getting told off, so you did your work, and you did it well.

The praise brought you a nice little ding of satisfaction, and you didn't really see much reason to act out or not do your work. You had your moments where you had forgotten things, but your teachers were lenient since you were always so diligent.

'Her lack of friends?' Now that was just inaccurate. You had friends, most of them were people you just so happened to sit next to in your lessons and you hung out on occasion. You didn't hang out with them in school since you liked to knuckle down and get your work done during the day so you could limit the amount you did at home.

You went out on the weekends, whether it be for lunch or to do some activity that one of them had picked. There was just the illusion that you didn't have any friends, but you didn't expect Lilly to be so observant.

'Or is it just because she's clever?' The more you thought about it, the more you thought that being smart was the only thing you had going for you. It was easy to look past everything that made you you when you were always getting the best grades.

A lot of people seemed to omit the detail of your name when referring to you, simply calling you the 'smart one'. It had never bothered you before, so why did it now? Surely though, Lando didn't just like you because you were smart?

Most of the time, you weren't being academic when you spent time together, so there had to be more to it than that. As you got in your own head, your self-confidence was dwindling. Was all of that really what people thought of you?

That you were drab, friendless, a kiss ass, just the smart one? Maybe they had and you had just never noticed. All anyone ever saw you as was clever. The little lonely thing who just studied instead of having a worthy social life.

That you were destined for solitude with nothing but your textbooks and scientific journals teeming with knowledge. It wasn't how you wanted yourself to be seen, not in the slightest. For a moment, you considered having a full on glow up, complete with the leather pants and hairspray - just like Sandy in Grease.

But that would be a little too much, so you decided against the idea. At least you didn't have long before you could leave that place and never look back. School had never been about the people to you, not until now, anyway.

Lando noticed that you weren't doing anything, your pen was just hovering over your sheet and it had been for a few minutes now. He didn't know whether you were brainstorming or thinking, but by the look on your face, whatever you were thinking wasn't pleasant.

"Hey..." he softly mumbled, reaching out hand to place on your arm from across the table. He gently shook you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You just looked at him for a moment, your brain taking you back to where you were.

Right. Studying. Biology. Physics. With Lando.

"You stuck?" you asked, leaning over to glance at the practice questions he had been scribbling down onto the paper.

"No, you just seem a bit spaced out. You doing OK?" he asked, concern written all over his face. He had a feeling he knew what was going on, and he was nearly 100% sure that he was right.

"Yeah, I'm good, just tired," you lied through your teeth, and Lando knew it was complete and utter bullshit. His expression hardened, not liking that you were lying to him. He hated it when you lied to him.

"Hey, c'mon, don't do that. Talk to me," he urged, his hand still remaining on your arm as he squeezed it. You stayed silent, not wanting him to take the mick out of you for thinking the way you were. But Lando wasn't having it. "Please? You're clearly upset about something. You can tell me." he pressed.

"I just... nevermind. It's stupid," you dismissed, picking your pen back up to actually make an attempt on your physics homework.

"No, we're not doing that. If you don't tell me, then I can't make it better," he carried on pushing. Lando just wanted you to open up to him, to make you see that he could trust you. He wanted to fix your problems for you.

"I... do you think I'm drab?" you asked, and he was taken aback. He took a few seconds, thinking over your question. He hated that you even had to ask him that in the first place.

"No, course I don't, you're so much more-"

"OK so do you think I'm a suck up? Do you think I have no friends? Is the only good thing about me my brain?" you rambled, and his face softened. He was right. It was exactly what he thought it would be: Lilly's words had gotten to you.

"No, no. Listen to me," he said, but you were still looking down at the paper and fiddling with the top of your pen. "Can you look at me?" he asked. His mum always got him to look at her when he was upset and she was trying to be reassuring, so he figured he'd try the same approach as her.

"Y/N. Look at me." he said more firmly. The sternness in his tone wasn't like anything you had heard from him, and you didn't know what else to do apart from listen to him and do as he said. You tilted your head up to meet his eyes, the softness hiding behind the hard exterior.

"You are none of that. Don't let Lilly think any less of yourself. You're not drab, you're a joy to be around. You're not a suckup, you're a hard worker. You have friends, you've got me. And there is so much more to you that just your brain. Sure, it's an incredible thing that I admire about you, but there's more to you than just that."

Now you really didn't know what to say. Somehow, Lando had just said exactly what you needed to hear. Yet it didn't make the insecurity go away, not fully. "But do you think other people think that? Or is Lilly just saying what everyone thinks...?" you nearly whispered.

"You don't need to care about anyone's opinion. Not everyone else's, not mine, and certainly not Lilly's. The only opinion you should care about is yours," he told you, and that was another moment where Lando showed that he was wise beyond his years.

"OK," you agreed, and Lando finally removed his hand from your arm. He seemed settled by your agreement, but he knew he hadn't fully convinced you. He'd keep an eye on you and be ready to swoop in and quash any more of that lingered self deprecating doubt.

"Now, do your physics. We can't have our number one scholar falling behind, can we?" he chuckled, trying to bring some light to the situation.

"As if you could catch up, Norris," you laughed, finally starting the questions that you had to do. You had them done in ten minutes, and finally the bell went for the end of second break. You and Lando packed up your stuff, ready to head to your next lesson.

"Hey, can we meet back here for the second half of lunch? I've got some maths I need help on," he asked, and you couldn't say no to him.

"Sure, I'll be here all lunch so just come up whenever," you told him, and he ran out to the language block for French so that he wasn't late. You just had English downstairs, so it was a short walk for you.

Exactly as he said, Lando trudged back up to the library halfway through lunch. "My French teacher is an absolute bitch. She kept me behind for ten minutes because apparently the way I say 'jouer' isn't French enough for her. We went through pronunciation for ages and said I need to work on it," he scoffed, plopping down in front of you and earning a glare from the librarian.

"So are we doing French or maths today?" you chuckled, thinking he'd want to do French after his little outburst.

"I would rather die than have to think of 'qu'est ce il y a dans ta ville' again," he mocked, purposely avoiding trying to pronounce the words right. "We're doing maths. And we're doing polynomial division. Because further maths is kicking my arse at the moment,"

"Sure, sure, OK. Get your book out," you told him, going into your bag to get your own maths book out. You had it last period, so you thankfully had all your stuff to hand.

"You know, I'd be much better at maths if I could sit with you again..." he said, hoping you'd catch onto what he was asking. It was true - his maths was a hell of a lot better when he had you to help him and guide him through it.

"Are you asking if you can come back to your old place?"

"Yes. Yes I am." he confirmed.

"Then yeah, I think you're good to move back to your old place," you confirmed, and the smile on his face was adorable. If you were being honest with yourself, you were also missing him in maths. The seat next to you had been left vacant, and you quite liked it that way.

But, having Lando there would've been a hell of a lot better than sitting by yourself. You enjoyed teaching him and it brought you a lot of satisfaction. It was nice to have that sense of fulfillment when you had shared your knowledge to someone, especially when it was Lando.

"So what is it about polynomial division that you don't get?" you asked, taking his book from him and looking at the half-done sums on the page.

"I get the first bit about putting x into x cubed, but from there? Nah," he told you, and you could see what he meant. He had gotten past step one, but had completely faltered on the rest of the maths.

"So now you want to times out your x squared by the -4 after the x and put that under there," you told him, pointing to the spot on the page where he needed to put in the multiplied terms and numbers.

You talked Lando through the rest of the steps and went over a few more with him, before letting him go through a few himself. "Are you OK? You know, after earlier and everything. I don't want you thinking like that about yourself,"

"Oh, yeah, it was just a short thing. I was being silly," you shook your head, and Lando seemed to believe you.

"Good. And... what do I do from this bit? Minus the 3?"

"No, plus. If you try to minus a minus, it turns into a plus, yeah?" you reiterated, and he instantly remembered the small maths fact. He just smiled at you, and you couldn't quite decipher what the look in his eyes was. It looked like some form of wonder, but you decided that that was just wishful thinking on your part.

"You're something else, you know that?" he quietly said, and you wouldn't have caught it if you weren't in the near silence of the library.

"Hm?" you asked, wanting to make sure you had heard what you thought you had heard.

"Oh, nothing," he blushed, pretending like he was doing his maths while you sat there. Lando mentally scolded himself for the slip up, annoyed that he had let it leave his lips. It was a freudian slip, yes, but he wasn't going to admit that.

He wanted to tell you again, and he wanted to tell you over and over and over again until you believed it, but he didn't want to push it too far. You had only just gotten back to normal, and he didn't want to ruin it just as quickly as he had gotten it back.

You both worked in silence until you needed to go to your 4th lesson of the day, yours being Spanish and Lando's being chemistry. "Can I walk you there?" he asked, not caring if he was late for chemistry, he hated the lesson anyway.

"Sure," you agreed, packing up your stuff and walking by his side. Lando wanted to be able to reach out, intertwine his fingers with yours and feel the warmth of your hand. But again, that'd be too much far too soon.

People gave you dubious glances as you walked through the corridors, and the people going into your class thought it was weird when Lando just stood outside with you when they knew he wasn't in their class. "Have a good lesson, yeah? I'll see you in maths," he smiled, leaning against the wall next to the classroom door.

"Yeah, enjoy chemistry," you smiled at him, walking in and taking your seat. After spending all that time with Lando, you forgot one teeny weeny detail. You sat with Lilly in Spanish. Great. And the realisation kicked in when she took her seat next to you.

Dread settled in the pit of your stomach, even if she didn't say anything for the first half of the lesson. The two of you didn't have any reason to talk, so you were perfectly happy with ignoring her existence and getting your lesson out of the way.

Yet of course, you had to do partner work. The task was simple, it was just testing each other on vocab. One of you would give the English word, and the other would give the Spanish word back. But, it wasn't like you could get out of it or ask to move places, since that would be way too obvious. She didn't initiate the conversation, so you had to be the bigger person and start it.

"Do you want me to ask first or do you want to?" you asked, and she looked at you as if you had just thrown up on her. The disgust on her face was obvious, since she made no attempt to hide it. If anything, she was playing up to make you feel worse.

"You can ask," she said, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms. You looked at the vocabulary that you had written down in your book, scanning through the different words.

"OK... what is the plot?" you asked, and she sighed.

"Don't know." Oh. So that was how this was going to go. OK, yeah, sure, you got the idea.

"El argumento. What is the scene?"

"Don't know." she said, looking bored as ever. She looked like she wanted to say something, but for whatever reason, she was holding her tongue. That wasn't like Lilly, not at all, so you were slightly surprised.

"It's really easy, come on," you huffed, feeling quite frustrated that she was being so stubborn and pig headed. But it was Lilly, what else were you expecting?

"Look, Y/N, if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you, and I'm certainly not going to sit here and play classmates with you, OK?" she said in the way an adult would scold a child.

"Good, because if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you either. But I'm not going to sit here and be a bitch about it, OK?" you replied with the same tone, and you spotted the spark that ignited in her eyes.

Did you slightly regret snapping back? Yes. But was it a little fun? Hell yeah.

"Ha, please. I'm not a bitch, you're just delusional," she scoffed, rolling her eyes at you. Delusional? How had that come out of your previous sentence? Clearly noticing the confusion on your face, she spoke again.

"Did you see that little show that Lando put on this morning? He's a good actor, isn't he? Mind you, it is quite pathetic that you believed it." she said, and you dropped your book down onto the table.

"You and I both know that that is absolute-"

"He just uses you, you know that? Ever since you've been 'friends', haven't you noticed that his grades in pretty much everything have gone up? He didn't mean a word of it," she spat, and it was like she had read your mind and brought back up the rest of your insecurities.

She had triggered them earlier, and now she was doing it again. "Not so mouthy now, are we?" she grinned, clearly satisfied with your facial expression.

You felt the familiar trepidation of seeing Lando next period coming back to the fore, and all you could muster was a simple, "And this is why nobody likes you."

"Lando seems to," she said after hearing your quip, but you both knew it was bullshit. At least that wasn't true. Or was it? You didn't know what was true in regards to you and Lando anymore.

Did he really just use you to get his grades up? Was that all this was?

Spanish was over after a little while, but you went straight to your maths classroom so that you wouldn't have to see Lando during break. Your teacher wasn't there, so you just sat in your seat to think about things.

She walked in after some time, you couldn't say how much time you had been sat there, but there were likely only a few minutes left until break was over. "Y/N? What's wrong? Did something happen with Lando again?" she asked, seeing the look on your face.

"Not with Lando. Well, not Lando directly, anyway." you mumbled, and she knelt down in front of your desk.

"You can tell me," she said. Lando had said the exact same thing to you earlier in the day, but it didn't have the same effect coming from her.

"It's fine, I've got it covered," you said, and she decided not to press the issue further. It wasn't long before the bell went and people started filtering in. Surprisingly, Lando was one of the first to walk in and came to his seat next to you.

"Lando, to the back," your teacher said, and he instantly knew something was wrong.

"Miss, it's fine, really," you reassured her, and Lando briskly took his seat beside you. He could tell the energy around you was off, and he was hell bent on getting to the bottom of it.

Meanwhile, Lilly's words were storming through your head like a runaway freight train. 'He just uses you'. It had been a fear you had held for a while, albeit one that you had convinced yourself of being irrational.

Surely, there was no way he'd do that, right? There was no way he would hug you, drive you home, walk you to class, spend his free time on projects for you if he was just using you. People weren't overly nice to people they were exploiting.

Or maybe he was just doing it to butter you up, keep you sweet for him. Keep his grades higher. Maybe he had figured out that his niceties got him favours from you, all of which involved help on his school work.

Maybe he was what you initially thought he was when you first talked to him on that broken down bus. A character. A special version of Lando Norris, crafted just for you. The edition of him that would get him what he wanted in the most efficient manner.

Maybe, just maybe, Lilly was right. Lando was the star actor, the leading role, the puppet master. And you were simply the one on the strings, dancing to whatever sick tune he played.

While you were thinking, Lando let some of the lesson go by until you were set off to work on some questions. "What's wrong?" he asked straight up, turning his body so that he was facing you more. When you didn't answer him, he nudged your leg with his knee under the table. "Come on, I know something's wrong. Is it about earlier?"

'No, I've just come to the conclusion that you might be using me' was what you thought, but you still couldn't deduce whether it was just Lilly and your mind wreaking havoc on you, or if it was the uncovered truth.

"Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," he said, hoping to get some form of a smile from the compliment. He would take anything at this point. However, you gave him nothing. You kept your eyes trained on your paper, your pen mindlessly scribbling.

"Was it Lilly?" he asked, and he saw the slight change in your expression. Well at least he knew something about what was going on with you. Even just the mention of it triggered the familiar, hot prickle of tears at the backs of your eyes.

Lando spotted you welling up, and he knew he'd hit a sore spot. "Hey, no, I'm sorry for pushing, I'll stop, it's OK," he rambled, feeling panicked at the prospect of you crying. He had seen it a few times, and it was a few times too many.

He also didn't want you to feel embarrassed by crying in the middle of class, especially not because of him. "You're OK, I'm sorry, it's OK," he tried to soothe as you tried to fight the tears back.

Lando wished he could just hug you like he had before, since that seemed to take the pain away for a little bit. At least then, he wouldn't feel so useless and like he was just sitting by and watching you get upset.

All he wanted was to hold you in his arms, make sure that no one else could ever hurt you again. But even then, it probably wouldn't be enough. "It's nothing," was all you could muster out, and something in Lando snapped.

He was so frustrated, he didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to tear his eyes away from you, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to look at your pretty face all day. But, he left you alone, returning to his maths.

Lando couldn't focus though, and time seemed to move unbelievably slowly while he was waiting for the lesson to end so that he could talk to you in a less public space. The bell had rung after an agonising half an hour, but you were too quick for him to catch as you practically ran out of the classroom.

He couldn't spot you as you walked through the corridors, since the hoards of people leaving their lessons obstructed his view. Darting out of school, he saw the bus waiting, and he was meant to be catching it, but he didn't care about that right now.

On the other side of the road, he saw you walking down the pavement with your headphones stuffed in your ears. He had to jog across the road as he was nearly ran over by a van, but that was the least of his worries right now.

"Y/N!" he called out after you, but you clearly hadn't heard him over your music. That wasn't going to going to deter him, however, as he continued to jog down the pavement and started walking next to you. "Y/N, talk to me," he said, slightly huffing as he finally got to slow down.

"Hm? Oh," you mumbled as you heard him beside you, not knowing what to say. You didn't want to push him away, but you didn't want to be like this anymore.

"C'mon, tell me, I'm here, there's no one around, it's just you and me," he tried to convince you. Stopping and turning to look a him, he saw the tears welling up in your eyes again, and he still didn't know what to do.

"You can't just be my friend again, then suddenly stop talking to me and not even tell me why," he ranted, his frustration seeping through his words.

"Look, I don't think we should be friends, Lando." you said, and he felt like his heart had stopped beating in his chest.

What the hell had triggered this? Why were you thinking like this? And why wouldn't you tell him what was going on? He hoped that this was just some spur of the moment thing, that you were just upset and acting on impulses.

God, he couldn't take this again. Not again, he wouldn't let you walk away from him again. He wouldn't lose you again. He had lost you once and it had been the worst few days of his recent memory, and he wasn't going to let you slip away that easily.

"No, no, don't do that. Don't do this to me, don't be stupid," he scoffed, waiting for you to crack a smile and tell him you were kidding and that you were just a bit on edge from something or another. The smile never came.

"Why? Why the fuck are you coming to this conclusion?" he continued, but the tears just started to silently fall down your cheeks.

"Me being associated with you just brings us both unwanted stress and upset. Your friends take the piss out of you, everyone seems to take the piss out of me and I can't do it Lando. You're brilliant but I just can't do this anymore," you sobbed, trying to walk away from him.

"No, no, you can't say that and not tell me what someone said to you," he pressed, grabbing your wrist and tugging you back so that you couldn't walk away from him. "I know it was Lilly, but you've gotta tell me what she said to you."

"She... nothing," you stuttered, and Lando's patience was wearing very damn thin.

"No, don't try pull that bullshit with me, I will not have it. You're going to give me one good fucking reason right now or I will lose it with you," he said through gritted teeth.

"She said that you don't actually want to be my friend and that you just use me to get better grades and it got me thinking and-"

"And what?" he cut you off, "You really believe a word that slimy bitch says? Sure, you helping me with my work is great, I won't deny that, but I spend time with you for you. And you wanna know why? Because I think you're amazing. You're funny, pretty and a hell of a lot smarter than anyone should be." he carried on, and he realised by your facial expression that he may have said more than he was meant to, but he didn't care at this point.

"You... huh?" you said, the words replaying over in your head. Was he meant to say that or was he still just trying to keep you attached to him?

"I said I think you're amazing and you're more to me than just a tutor. You're my friend. Dare I say one of my favourites because you never take the piss out of me, you're always nice to me, and being around you makes me happy. And you're too smart to believe a word she says." he reaffirmed.

Your eyes searched his face for any trace of dishonesty, any hint of a lie. Yet, it they found nothing. Not a speck of chicanery in sight. He kept saying all this stuff, and it was supposed to be exactly what you needed to hear. Then why wasn't it?

"Were you and Lilly ever anything?" you asked, the question slipping past your lips before you could even find it in yourself to stop it. You didn't even know why you cared - well, you did. The stallion of jealousy was rearing its ugly head, and there was no way that you could suppress it.

You liked him, you liked him a lot. And, even if he had only had something fleeting with Lilly, it still would have upset you.

"No." he sharply and quickly answered. "Why the fuck would I ever-" he started, before cutting himself off with a sigh. Getting annoyed at you wasn't the best approach, even if you were making it damn impossible not to. "No. No I never and will never have anything with her." he said.

"But still, people are still awful to me and to you," you whispered, trying to hold back even more tears.

"That doesn't matter, not to me. I don't give a shit what people think, I just give a shit about you." he pleaded, hoping and praying that you weren't going to turn around and leave him.

Despite the clear sincerity in his voice, you couldn't bring yourself to believe him. As much as you desperately wanted to believe him, you couldn't. You needed to believe him, but you couldn't.

The worst part was was that you knew the notion was completely absurd, but you believed it anyway. "Please don't do this..." he whispered, moving his hands to hold you at the top of your arms. God, he didn't want you to go. Not again.

"I'm sorry, Lando..." you mumbled, shrugging away from his grip and pushing your headphones back into your ears. With every step you took, it felt like another stab to his already broken heart.

Lando closed his eyes, unable to watch you walk away from him. "I thought you were the smartest person I knew, but it turns out you're the fucking dumbest," he called out after you, his voice cracking on the words.

It was mean, sure, but he didn't care. What he did care about wa the fact that the only girl he had ever had real feelings for was walking away from him, and there was seemingly nothing he could do to bring you back. Nothing.

A/N - Already 5k into the next part of this, and I'm sorry, I know it felt like it was just getting better. Alas, we're getting there. And happy birthday Lando! He may piss me off to no end, but damn do I love writing about him 💖

tag list: @cheriladycl01 @ln4swiftie @mariedeyes223 @ironmaiden1313 @daemyraforever56

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