#but dear gods you've got more of a spine than the us sources but that's a low bar

[dreamerinsilico]

New rule: Mainstream news hosts/pundits owe me $100 every time they quote or cite a working class person who voted for Trump because they're coNcErNed aBouT tHe eConOmy without adding the helpful clarification that

A presidential administration inherits the economy of the one before it and first-term Trump left a fucking shambles which we have macro-economy bounced back on but not in a way that would be felt without directly taking on corporate price-gouging WHICH THE BIDEN ADMIN HAS BEEN TRYING ITS BEST TO DO.

TARIFFS WILL NOT LOWER PRICES, YOU FUCKING WALNUTS. (Sorry, that's insulting to walnuts, a good and noble nut and also the name of the murderous crane who married a human zookeeper.) YOU FUCKING FREEZERBURNED EGGO WAFFLES. (There, that's better.)

[katsukikitten]

Once upon a time

A/N welcome to day three (almost day four. Nothing like procrastinating) of Kitten's valentines day event. Here is a request by anon for a cinderella au with those horrid red crocs. I tried blending seriousness with a touch of comedy (God knows I specialise in angst) hopefully it comes off well. Bone apple teeth.

The ball to find your prince was tonight. A long awaited night as you brush your hair staring into the vanity. Lips and cheeks painted with light pinks with a blush dress to match. The dress acting as a preview for what is to come, a mock wedding dress if you will. Elegantly and obnoxiously long train, paired with the classic princess ball gown that flairs at your waist.

Heart pounding in your chest you stand waiting in your glass slippers, hair braided and pinned half up and half down to frame your face as it trundles down to your delicate shoulders.

"And now for our lady of the night, Princess Y/N!" A quick gulp before you step through the opening doors, smiling brightly at the throngs of men who have attended all wearing masks of blinding colors in hopes to be seen.

To be remembered.

Your night is spent mostly whisked around in nauseating circles handed off from man to man. You go from two toned hair, to a blabbering bright blonde, passed off to a jaded eyed man before you're head is spinning.

The jade eyed man is, how can you put it nicely?

Well you can't he's boring. An utterly ball of nerves boring. His hands are slick with sweat and he can barely hold eye contact to save his life as he says sorry every step of the dance despite not making a single error.

"May I?" A smooth voice inturrpts the emerald eyes apologies. You drink in the handsome man in stunning deep red that makes his gem eyes pop. Finaly excited for the first time tonight.

"Y...you may." He stammers passing your hand to a calloused hard working hand. A feeling you are unused to as most of the other men's hands were smooth. His other hand finds the small of your back as he sweeps you into a pleasantly slow paced dance.

"Your name my dear?" The first you've asked for this whole night. He smiles a sharp toothed smile as his velvet voice caresses your before agitated nerves.

"Ejirou." A shiver runs down your spine as you fixate on this stunning broad shouldered man.

Another turn before you notice that he has swept the two of you onto one of the many balconies just off of the hall.

"Ah look at the moon over head Eijirou!" He hates to admit that he loves the sound of his name on your lips. He bites his own trying and failing to remind himself that he does not truly belong here.

But a night with a beautiful princess is all he ever wished for.

You brace yourself agaisnt the railing as you stare into the face of your favorite celestial body. All the while ruby eyes watch your dainty form.

"Isn't it beautiful?" You sigh melting as you swoon over your first love. Eijirou places his hand on the balcony around you, pressing his hip to yours.

"No where near as beautiful as you." He breaths, leaning down to kiss feather soft lips. Rough hand pulling a slender waist impossibly closer as he deepens the kiss.

Bells chime overhead causing him to gasp out.

"Its midnight." He sounds panicked as he tries to take a step back. Eyes frantically looking for the exit.

"Why yes," You blink confused, hand clutching his blood red lapel, "But the party is until sunrise."

"I've got to go. Now. I'm sorry." He says as he rushes away while you're right on his heels.

Although he is much faster and much more hardy than you. You stop to catch your breath as he rushes down the endless stairs in front of the castle.

"Eijirou how will I find you?" He stops short at your request turning ever so slightly, disappointment and sadness well in his eyes as he answers.

"You can't." Another chime rings out sending him into a full on sprint as one of his blood red dress shoes fall wayward on the long stair case. You rush to clutch onto the shoe another chime rings out and by some magic the deep crimson dress shoe distorts into something horrifyingly grotesque.

A birght red slipper with holes and a band that would sit atop the heel or the top of the foot depending if one wanted it to be in "sport" mode or not.

You scrunch your nose especially after seeing little charms of different shapes and sizes ranging anywhere from a fire truck to the classic cartoon meat bone.

"What the fuck?" You murmur to yourself as you look over the odd shoe, debating if it would be worth it to attempt to find the handsome man with terrible taste in footwear.

A flash of ruby red burns hot in your memory as you stand calling off the rest of the ball to summon your best scouts.

"We will go over the entire land to see who fits this shoe!"

True to your word you spend countless weeks that bleed into months exhausting all resources to find your prince charming.

Men across the nation line up outside of their homes in hopes of fitting the red shoe. Some men spy the shoe and turn inside, while others step out in a clearly immitated bright red holed filled slipper.

Still your search is fruitless as you begin to run out of both men and houses to check. You stand in front of your last house for the day as two men rush from the door as a window shutter is slammed shut overhead.

"Princess!" They sing song in unison, "We brothers are the owner of the shoe!"

Your eyes rove over a bright blonde male and a short purple haired boy whose eyes pop from their sockets as they stare at your form. Even as you're wearing pants.

"Hmmm, my prince to be had red hair." You state, "Men we are mistaken let us leave at once."

"W..wait your highness, you have not even tried to place it on our feet yet! At least give us that much." They beg as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

"Fine." With a snap of your fingers the horrific item is presented to you atop a velvet black pillow. You grab onto the item and place it to where a foot can be slipped in.

The blonde tries first, his toes poking out through some of the holes, popping out a fire truck charm as he attempts to shove his foot in.

Immediately you withdraw to present the shoe to the small boy. His foot barely fills the slipper causing a great sigh to leave your lips.

Tears threaten to spill over as you think that you may never find your one true love. You place the slipper back onto its pillow before you begin to climb the stairs to your carriage.

"Princess wait!" That velvet voice you had grown to love shouts as your frantically look for the source. He comes out in tattered clothes, soap suds clinging to his elbows as stains litter the cloth.

All the while the other two men are dressed in finary that could rival your own.

You look down to see he is wearing what must be the other slipper. As more of those ghastly charms twinkle in the dying light of the sun.

"Ah this is just our step brother. Please pay him no mind." The blonde says before elbowing him harshly, "Get back into the house you idiot!"

He clutches the scrub brush in his hands, ruby eyes glancing between you and his evil step brothers. He turns on his heel only for you to shout, fearing you may lose the man of your dreams again.

"No, he will be sized by the shoe. Should it fit he is mine to wed." The slipper is brought back to you once more, delicate hands wrap around the bright material as the red head presents his foot to you.

The God awful footwear fits and tears of joy stream down your face.

"E...Eijirou is it really you?" He nods shyly, embarrassed that he is in essentially a potato sack compared to what he wore the night he met you.

It was all with the help of an angry godfather who loomed in the courtyard the night of your ball.

"So you're just gonna let these assholes tell you you can't go?!" The Godfather had yelled, fingers popping with magic.

"Don't be a bitch." He bites out, turning a rotting carcass into a stunning white horse, "You're going and that's final."

Popping hands burning through Eijirou's tattered rags. Just a Phoenix something new rises from the ash. A beautifully tailored suit adorned with a bright red mask glimmering in the night like sparkling rubies.

"But you have until midnight to get the hell out of there." The GodFather snarls, "What are you waiting for a fucking invitation? Go kiss the damn girl! Just remember I said midnight and don't fuck this up."

He had left after that in an oversized explosion leaving nothing behind but the smell of sweet burning caramel.

Eijirou silently thanked the Godfather as he spun his princess around, cheeks burning from smiling so hard and feet sheathed in firetruck red crocs.

And they lived happily ever after.

[another-blog-bites-the-dust]

Queen of hearts.

Summary: Being tied to the mob was hard...loving someone who was on a side you were fighting against made it even harder.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood, angst

A/N: Sorry it's a little late!! I've been so busy over the last week that I never had the chance to edit this part until yesterday! 😫 Anywhoooo I hope you enjoy this final part! I loved this little series! And thank you all again for your lovely comments and your patience! 💖

Gif source [X]

Part 4.

—————

Your eyes squinted as they adjusted to the light. You were sitting propped up against the wall and it felt as if your head was being kicked around like a ball the pulsating pain was so unbearable. You placed your hand on your forehead and tried to run away the pain before someone shouted at you.

"Where is he?"

Your eyebrows furrowed together "What?" You croaked and rubbed your eyes while groaning. When you fully opened them you saw Brian's dad in front of you, burning his eyes into you with cheeks flushed with anger.

"Where's Brian?!" He screamed in your face and you flinched slightly, trying to move back and desperately hoping the wall would move. "What have you and your father done with him?"

"Mr May...I don't know what you're talking about..." your words trembled out your mouth and tears stung your eyes. "Brian...he was supposed to meet me..." you eyes shut over and you took a deep, shaky breath. "T-the hotel..."

"Was that the plan? Ambush him or something?" Harold sneered.

"What are you talking about? It was his idea to leave!" You cried, tears now falling from your eyes like rain. You eventually took in your surroundings, it looked like some sort of warehouse.

"Leave?" His face was riddled with confusion "What do you mean leave?"

You loudly sniffled "He said we could run away..." you whispered "Start a new life together." He took out his phone and showed you a simple message. But it was one that sent a chill down your spine.

Unknown: They have him.

"Explain this then." Harold was almost growling and waited for an explanation.

You frantically shook your head "No! No I'd never let Brian get hurt! Never!" You yelled, suddenly becoming furious at the thought "I love him!" Thanks to your passionate yells, you had unintentionally confessed your feelings to his father. Harold's eyebrows softened and it almost looked liked he believed you. Almost.

"Sir," you both looked over and saw Roger there "Still no sign or word from Brian. Freddie is in the east end checking, John is in the west."

"I would never let my dad hurt your son, Mr May..." he turned his head back to you "I would rather die than let anything bad happen to him." Brian's father pondered over your profound words. "I swear to you, I don't know where Brian is." He stared at you for a few moments and nodded, releasing a huff of air while doing so. He reached out his hand and you hesitantly took it so he could help you up off the floor and you dusted yourself off.

"She's right, you know." A new voice appeared out of nowhere, a figure holding a gun soon following. "Y/N doesn't know where Brian is." You squinted your eyes a little while Roger became very tense and defensive.

"Paul? Paul Prenter?" You said, eyeing up the man. "I thought you were in prison?"

He nodded "I was. Thanks to him beside you and your father- I was convicted for two separate crimes that they committed!" Paul screamed and you flinched. "Now I'm getting payback starting with you, Miss Y/L/N and you, Mr May." Paul looked at you with a terrifying smile. "Your father wouldn't be very happy knowing his little princess is sleeping with the son of his enemy. I wonder how he'd react if he found out your little secret..." he still had the wide grin on his face. Your eyes went a little wider when it hit you that he sent the text. "Let's ask him." Van wheels screeching made you, Roger and Harold jump and when the door to the van opened, your father and Brian stumbled out before behind grabbed by two of Paul's men to keep them in place. Paul sinisterly grinned "Hello, Brian. Mr Y/L/N."

"Prenter?!" Your father seethed "What the hell are you doing?" He then noticed you and frantically tried to wriggle out of the guards grip. "I swear to god if you've hurt her!"

"I'm fine dad," you weakly assured him. "I'm alright." You stepped forward a little but Paul quickly pointed the gun at you and Brian went to lunge forward but the man holding him held him back. You defensively held up your hands and stood beside Brian's father. Your eyes flickered down noticing he was standing with his hands behind his back. He was trying to reach for his gun.

"Do you know what your precious, loyal, daughter has been doing?" Paul slowly walked to stand between you both and you noticed the worrying glance Brian was sending you. It was as if he trying to transport you both out of the warehouse to somewhere else.

"The hell are you talking about?" Your dad gritted out, annoyed that he was being held back. All he wanted to do was punch Paul in the face.

"She's been doing him." Paul bluntly spoke and motioned the gun at Brian. You looked away from your fathers piercing gaze, he snapped his head back and forth between you and Brian, who was now looking at his feet. You glanced up and saw Freddie and John creep in, trying to be as stealthy as they could. Roger noticed them but if he moved, it was likely he'd be shot so stood still. "Both of you have ruined me and my reputation..." Paul spoke to both your fathers. "It's time you pay."

Harold pulled out his gun and without thinking, you jumped in front of him when Paul noticed and pointed the gun at him, pulling the trigger. It was so fast. Paul was faster to react than Harold.

You didn't feel any pain until Brian's father caught you in his arms and you both fell to the ground. Another shot was fired but you barely heard it, all you could hear was Brian's father speaking to you. "Hey, hey, you're alright. I've got you." There was shouting before another shot went off. Harold pressed his hands to the oozing wound on your stomach and you agonisingly cried out in pain and gripped onto him. "Is Prenter down?" He screamed while still pressing your stomach to try and stop the blood.

"Y/N!" Brian kneeled down beside you, clutching a bloodied shoulder. "No, no, no," he cried and tightly grabbed your hand with his bloodied ones, forgetting his own injury to focus on you.

Your father rushed over "An ambulance is on its way, Y/N. C'mon sweetheart," he tapped your face when your eyes started to flutter shut "You can't leave me too." He sniffled. You weakly reached across with your other hand and he grabbed onto it for dear life.

"I'm sorry, dad..." you tried to focus more on your breathing than the piercing ache spreading through your body.

He stroked your hair "It's okay, you don't have anything to be sorry for." He assured before glancing up to the boy next to him with the curly hair and tears in his eyes. "Hey, I think you and Brian are a match made in heaven!" He tried to chuckle but it sounded more like a sob. "The two of you are stupid enough to throw yourselves in front of Harold and I when a gun is pointed at us." Brian's shoulder was still bleeding, the gun had just grazed it when Paul pulled the trigger in your fathers direction. Brian had pushed him down and took the faint impact of the bullet.

You looked up to Brian and softly smiled "I love you," you whispered out.

Brian smiled with a loud sniffle "I love you too." Your fathers each sent each other a glance. "Don't...don't you dare shut your eyes. We're supposed to go away together aren't we?" He smiled down at you and you nodded. "Where do you want to go? I'll take you anywhere in the world- anywhere you want! Just...just don't shut you eyes." You felt them shutting while he sobbed- you couldn't stop them, not even Brian's tears hitting your skin could lightly jolt them open. "Y/N," Brian softly shook you before his shakes became rougher "Y/N!"

The ambulance arrived and the paramedics patched you up as best they could. Harold and your father had to restrain Brian back from you.

They took you to the hospital, the three men followed and then waited for an antagonising length of time for news.

Brian was in a sling, they had bandaged up his shoulder and gave him some painkillers. He was sitting next to his father who still had your blood on his hands. It was a few shades darker now that it had dried in. Your dad was sitting across from the pair of them with his hand pressed against his mouth, eyes just as red as Harold's hands he was crying that much. "I don't know what I'll do if she dies." He croaked out.

Harold sighed "She won't die, Y/F/N." he tried to remain positive "She's strong."

"Should have got rid of Prenter when I had the chance..." he scolded himself.

"You and me both," Harold added and your dad looked up to him, faintly smiling. Brian was sitting hunched, glaring at the light blue vinyl flooring. He flinched feeling his father rub his back "You okay?"

"I just want to know how Y/N is," Brian admitted. "I really love her dad....despite of who she's related to." He whispered the last part. "We want to be together and I won't let you or him get in the way of that."

"We wouldn't," Brian's head snapped up to your father and he felt a little embarrassed that he had heard the conversation. "Nothing means more to me than Y/N's happiness- I'd never get in the way of that." Your father looked to Harold "And I'm sure you wouldn't stand in the way of Brian's happiness too, Harold."

Harold smiled at his son and pat his shoulder "Never."

A clearing throat made the three men look up, your doctor was standing there, his scrubs freckled with blood. They all swiftly stood and awaited the news. "Surgery went well, we removed the bullet and stitched up the damaged tissue."

"Can I see her?" Your father asked and the doctor nodded.

"Of course you can, she might be a little woozy from the anaesthetic but she is conscious." He explained.

The doctor led them through to your room. A breath caught in your fathers throat seeing you attached to dozens of machines and wires snaked around your hands and arms. Harold held Brian back for a moment and sent him a silent look as if to say 'let him have some time alone with her'. Brian nodded with a slightly begrudging tight smile. Your father entered the room and sat down next to you, gently cupping your hand in his. "Y/N, sweetheart...it's dad. Can you hear me?"

Your eyelids felt like they were being held down by weights "Dad...?" You groaned and managed to open your eyes ever so slightly and took in your surroundings. "Is everyone okay?" You asked and he chuckled with tears streaming down his face "Everyone's fine, trust you to get into the most bother!" He sniffled "You had to go in for surgery to get the bullet removed."

"Bullet?" You groggily whispered and then it suddenly hit you. "Brian!" You gasped and tried to sit up causing the machines to ring and start loudly sounding alarms. Brian jumped and looked in through the window and saw you struggling in bed.

"Calm down!" You hissed feeling a sharp pain in your abdomen and tried to clutch it but you were held back by wires. "You'll do yourself more harm than good if you move about too much!" You let him slowly lower you "He's fine, it's just a scratch on his shoulder."

"Is he here?" Your father nodded "Can I see him?" He cracked a small smile and stood up to get Brian, he let him have a moment with you.

His father and yours watched you both from the window as you both broke down in tears and tightly held each other's hands and pressed kisses against one another. They could see it as clear as day. Their children were in love with each other. It was something neither of them could control.

"We've forced them into a life they never wanted to live..." Harold quietly spoke up while watching the pair of you. "I noticed it in Brian a few years ago...he doesn't want to be like me. He wants to be his own person."

Your father defeatedly nodded while also watching the scene in front of him unfold. "It's all I've ever known and I thought if I involved her itbwpuod all work out alright in the end." He now knew this wasn't the case. "When Y/N's mother died I submerged myself in work...eventually resenting you over such stupid shit and now look at us! We almost lost our children because of it!" He groaned and rubbed his forehead "I'm getting to old for this, Harold. I sure as hell don't want to fight anymore. I want to make London a safer place for Y/N...and Brian too." Harold turned and looked at your father, a small smile forming on his face before stretching out his hand for your father to shake.

"Fancy having a partner on board to help?"

Brian looked up when he saw the exchange of shakes. "Think they've made up..." he murmured while still holding onto your hand that had an IV drip sticking out of it. Every so often he'd press a kiss to your knuckles.

You moved your head and looked out the window and grinned at the two men. "Only took me almost dying for it to happen," you tried to joke but Brian wasn't laughing. You gripped his hand a little tighter "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Scared me?! I fucking almost had six heart attacks in a row!" Brian yelped "Never- and I mean it- never do that again!" He warned and leaned forward to kiss you on the lips. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." He cupped your face.

You reached up and placed your hand over his and stroked the back of his hand with your thumb. "Where would be going?" You asked and Brian raised a brow "If we were on our way to running away...where would we be going?"

Brian smirked "I told you- anywhere you want. Our adventures can be endless. We can go to Spain, France, Italy, the moon-" you laughed out loud before groaning in pain, your hands and Brian's hovering over the aching spot. "Imagine laughing so much you'd burst open your stitches." You clamped a hand over your mouth and tried to hold back your giggles.

"S-stop!" You squeaked "God, you'll make me laugh again," you breathed steadily to compose yourself before letting out a loud yawn.

"Get some sleep," Brian softly kissed your forehead and you closed over your eyes. "I'll be right here beside you when you wake up." He watched you with a loving smile as you fell into a peaceful sleep. "Our adventure can start tomorrow."

•••

Your eyes felt like they had been shut for seconds when you opened them again.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Brian tiredly hummed and craned his neck forward to kiss you. "Sleep well?"

"Always do when you're beside me," you eventually opened your eyes and flashed a smile. There was a halo of light behind Brian's unruly morning curly bed hair. His hand roamed across your stomach and up your top as he leaned forever forward and pressed kisses up your neck and playfully nibbled on your ear.

"I love falling asleep next to you- I love waking up like this with you just as much." You giggled feeling his breath tickle your sensitive skin. He hummed contently when you ran a hand through his hair.

You then heard the door creak open and you both glanced over the sea of crumbled covers and smiled at the figure standing in the doorway.

Olivia May.

Your very own little queen of both your hearts.

She ran over and threw herself on the bed withan soft thud and a giggle before crawling between the both of you. You and Brian both looked down at her and peppered her with a shower of kisses on her hair and cheeks, you protectively wrapped up in your arms. Brian smiled at the sight. He loved seeing his two girls that meant more to him than the earth itself like that in front of his eyes. It was one of his favourite things in the world. He knew he was incredibly lucky and often thanked Freddie for inviting him to Mary's party. If he didn't go, he would have never have met you. "What time am I seeing grandad and grandpa today?" She asked.

You blinked and looked at her with a quirked brow "Are you that excited to see them?" You lightly chuckled.

"Yeah!" She ecstatically replied and flashed her teeth- two were missing. "They said they were doing to teach me how to glock someone!"

You and Brian both shared a wide-eyed, unimpressed, shocked glance. "Oh did they now?" He said and was about to get out of bed to phone them and give them an earful before you reached over and held onto his arm.

"I'm sure they'll do something a lot more fun! Like take you to that new soft-play place you saw the other day!" You tried to keep smiling but you were internally screaming- Brian could tell. If what she said was true, your father and father-in-law were going to endure your wrath. "You better look out what you want to wear." She nodded and wriggled out your bed and jogged to her room.

"Y/N I swear if they teach our child how to gun someone down-" you couldn't help but laugh at his serious demeanour. "I mean it!" He grinned and you shook your head while chucking.

You managed to escape Brian's alluring hold and made your way to the bathroom, Brian hot on your heels. You reached up to scratch your stomach and caught a glimpse in the mirror of the scar where the bullet hit you almost ten years ago. There was a silver lining to the whole ordeal however; Brian was true to his word and the very next day, your adventure together began.

You sighed and looked at the mark, tracing your fingers over the bumpy skin. "God..." you mumbled under your breath.

Brian noticed. "You're still so worried about that, aren't you?"

"It's just so unsightly," you complained and Brian scoffed.

"Are you kidding me?" He wrapped his arms around you "You aren't not and will never be unsightly." He kissed your cheek and looked at you via the mirror. "You are the most beautiful thing on this earth- badass bullet scar and all." He kissed the top of your nose.

After showering and getting organised, you and Brian dropped Olivia off at your dad's house where he and Harold were waiting to spend the day with your daughter. After many stern warnings from you and Brian about what to teach and what not to teach her, you and Brian returned to the car and found you both had the day to yourselves. It was a rare thing.

"What do you say we head back to my place and play some poker?" He asked, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows and instantly taking you back ten years.

"Well," you reached down and picked up your handbag, unzipping it and then pulling out a pack of cards that you had placed in it a few days before. His smile was replaced with a look of confused wonder and surprise- he didn't expect that. "Let's make it interesting..." you handed him the pack with slightly shaking hands and he took it from you with a curious, yet confused, smile. "Open it." He did as you asked and sifted through the cards.

In the pack of cards there was a little black and white ultrasound scan picture nestled in between the king of hearts and the queen of hearts.

The end.

———————–————

•Part One•Part Two•Part three•

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