#but dad’s option is so tempting though

[suguru-getos]

Not me bawling and crying to my bf who’s at the airport travelling to another country about my Manager fucking up my ratings for appraisal 😭

[neverendingford]

.

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: ch 17

a/n: thank you to @bahablastplz for editing. check out her writing if you haven't already! she's amazing.

Summary: Welcome to Sigma Kappa Zeta, the most popular fraternity on campus. When you, down on your luck and looking for a place to live, see their ad for ‘IN-HOUSE STAY’. You're one of the four girls chosen and find that your duties for the rest of the school year will be cooking, cleaning, and pleasing your assigned house members: Hyunjin & Chan.

[ read chapter sixteen here ]

Chapter Seventeen: Of Futures & Flights

Lee Know was right—your least favorite string of words in the English language. Hyunjin will be going to Korea for winter break and now your only option is to see what Chan has planned. You knock on the door to his room before entering. He’s sitting at his desk, laptop in front of him. He turns to face you as you enter. A hint of a smile tugs at his lips when he sees you and you immediately feel your face flush. 

“Hey,” you say meekly. 

Lately with just one look from him you’re overcome with flashbacks of being handcuffed to his bed. And he knows it. It hadn’t been awkward or uncomfortable in the days that followed, but he certainly was finding a lot of joy in catching your eye from across the room and winking or smirking. He always got a kick out of your reaction. 

“Hey,” he replies smoothly.

You walk over to your bed and sit on the edge, facing him.

“I wanted to ask about your plan for winter break,” you cut straight to the chase. “Are you going to visit your family?”

“Maybe. Why?” he asks, crossing his hands in front of his chest as he leans back in the chair. “Got a more tempting suggestion?”

Of course, he must already have some idea why you’re here. Lee Know or Hyunjin could have mentioned it. But he wants to hear you ask anyways.

“I want to use the trip I won around that time and Hyunjin is going home, so…”

“So…I’m your backup?”

“N-No,” you stutter. Though you can’t deny how it must come off from his point of view. 

“Hmmm,” he hums, not taking his eyes off you. “Where you planning to go?”

“I was thinking somewhere warm, like Miami. I’ve never been.”

“And you actually want me to go with you?” he asks, arching an eyebrow. “You could take one of the other members.” 

Is he suggesting that you should choose someone else? That he doesn’t want to go with you? He does so damn well at playing serious when he’s messing with you, you can never tell.

“I’d prefer to spend it with you…”

“Since Hyunjin isn’t available?”

“Chan.” you sigh. 

He chuckles at your exasperation and gives up. 

“I’ll go.”

You wish you had something nearby on the bed to hit him with. Internally you’re jumping for joy. 

The next day, you’re in the kitchen with plastic gloves on your hands. Hyunjin’s long body is laying on the marble countertop, feet hanging off the edge, head over the sink with a folded towel under his neck for support. He has hands clasped in the center of his chest. A bottle of black hair dye sits next to the faucet as you work your fingers through his newly darkened locs to rinse it out.

You keep turning your head to the side as you work, trying to fully picture him with dark hair as you’ve only ever seen him as a bleached blonde. The darker strands definitely look more natural on him and enhance his features.

It’s finals week and you’ve decided to take a break from reading to help Hyunjin out. The house has been relatively calm lately as everyone cracks down on studying. Some go at it alone, others pair up to quiz each other. 

“Would your parents really lose their shit if you came home with blonde hair?” you ask, turning the water off when the black dye has finally stopped dripping.

“Yeah ,” he replies. “And that’s an understatement. My dad would behead me, then drag my headless body around before letting me show up at company events like that. It’s ‘unprofessional’,” he says, using air quotes.

He jokes about it so casually, but it makes you wonder what their parents are like. It’s so different to the supportive upbringing you had. Well, it is supportive in a way—their parents are doing what they believe is best for their child’s future. It just seems like it doesn’t leave room for them to be themselves once they return home.

You know, from talking to Han, the general idea of what’s expected of them after graduation. You previously assumed, though, that just meant a continued sexual relationship was off the table. After what Lee Know said, you now understand that you are forbidden to have contact with them at all.

As you’ve grown more curious about it, Hyunjin has been rather receptive of your prying questions. When you asked why he was so open, he mentioned the NDA in that cursed contract you skim read through in desperation all those weeks ago.

“So do you immediately start working after you graduate?” you ask, taking off the plastic gloves and setting them aside.

“Not straight away. There will be a few months spent doing whatever I want…traveling, probably. Then I’ll work directly under my father. Essentially until he’s ready to retire or trusts that I won’t fuck up the family business.”

This feels like such a heavy topic, but Hyunjin grazes over it with ease. Like it’s not a big deal. From his perspective, maybe it isn’t. He’s known the path his life would take since he was very young. They all do. There isn’t much to guess or worry about like most of us. Hell, it doesn’t seem like they get to choose much of anything for themselves. Your thoughts drift to Chan for a second as you wring the water out from Hyunjin’s hair. 

You take the towel from under his head and guide him to sit up so you can dry it.

“And when it comes to love and marriage and children and all that…what sort of freedom do you have?”

Hyunjin makes a face like he’s going to throw up at your words. You roll your eyes and throw one end of the towel at him, so it covers his dramatic face.

“Come upstairs,” you say as you walk out of the kitchen.

When you’re both back in his room, after he stopped to grab his blow dryer, you have him sit in his desk chair. You stand behind him, combing your fingers through his hair.

“So…marriage, love? What’s that look like for you guys?” you ask again.

“At some point I’ll be encouraged to date, then marry. Exclusively from a list of women vetted by my parents,” he tells you.

You chew on your bottom lip; thankful he’s not looking directly at you. From your perspective, it all sounds concerning the more you learn, but you know it’s not your place to speak on it. What is there for you to even say? They’ve probably all already come to terms with it. Would your opinion even matter? In the grand scheme of things, you living with them this year is just a blip on their radar.

“Like an arranged marriage?”

“Kinda,” he says nonchalantly. “I will have some say in it, though.”

You turn on the blow dryer, using it as a distraction to sort through the thoughts arising from the information he provided.

Hyunjin previously mentioned the main function of the SKZ house was to provide them the ability to focus on their studies without allowing love and romance to distract them. Having a dedicated girl each year to meet their needs…to take care of them in more ways than one. It’s almost like this is a trial run for their futures. Though, from the sounds of it, the women vetted by their parents will probably also come from wealthy families and possess the feminine qualities they desire in a daughter-in-law. Certainly no one like you.

You grew up fairly well–your mom and dad played active roles in your upbringing. They were able to dote on you as an only child and you don’t recall ever wanting for much. You weren’t poor, but nowhere near the level of wealth their families have amassed. They supported you with all they had and there was never much fuss or drama. You’ve always been a good kid with your head on straight–focused on your own dreams and goals.

Having gotten to know Hyunjin the past couple of months, you know one day he will make an amazing husband. He’s gentle when needed, thoughtful, caring and extremely empathetic, while still maintaining his masculinity. Which makes him even more attractive. Chan, on the other hand…

You feel a sharp pain in your chest–maybe Chan is holding back with you because he’s saving himself or really only willing to open up to his future wife. That hurts to think about. 

You turn the blow dryer off and sit it on the desk. Hyunjin reaches out for your hand and pulls you around the front of the chair. You sit on his lap, straddling him and cupping his face with your hands.

You take in his new appearance. His blow-dried hair looks full and fluffy, and it’s grown a lot in length, reaching beneath his collar bones. The dark hair looks good on him—it gives meaning to the ‘tall, dark and handsome’ trope.

“What happens if you don’t like anyone on the list?”

“They’ll compile another one,” he shrugs.

“That seems unfair,” you reply. “What if you meet someone organically and fall in love?”

“I could date them,” he says, hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. “But nothing would come of it.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

He considers the question for a beat.

“Not in the way you might think,” he replies.

“Well, I think anyone would be right to be bothered at having so little say in the outcome of their life…”

“I don’t mind that aspect of it. Being on this path ensures I will live a good life,” he says matter-of-factly. 

“What’s your take on it, then?” you ask, making note that he said good life and not happy.

“I’ve never been fond of the ‘forever partner’ idea.”

You lean back a little, sliding your hands down to his shoulders. You’re a little surprised at his words. The kind, caring and doting Hyunjin? Does not believe in soulmates? 

“I have no problem being committed and dedicated to one woman at a time, but…forever?” he asks rhetorically. “I think we’re meant to connect on a deep level with a lot of people at different times in our lives. Do you know how many people there are on this planet? And I’m supposed to find a lifelong match from a list? To meet all my needs, even as they change over time?”

You can completely understand, and have experienced, his commitment and loyalty in the way he immediately opened up to you and was there for you. But maybe this experience has made him grow accustomed to having a new woman in his life every year. 

“New people make things exciting and fresh,” he continues as he slips his thumbs beneath the hem of your shirt, rubbing circles against your skin, “…how you meet, learning about them, being intimate with them.”

You had never taken him for the playboy type. Though the way he’s explaining it doesn’t sound like he will be running around trying to fuck anything that walks. Just that he’d prefer to entertain the idea of a woman without any real commitment for certain stretches of time, for the rest of his life. 

“So you worry you’ll become bored?” you ask. 

“Maybe,” he answers honestly, as always. “I don’t doubt my ability to remain faithful���to be a good dad and husband when the time comes. But I do want to take my time getting there. I’m in no rush. Maybe in 30 years or so.”

You roll your eyes at that.

“I cannot with you,” you say, reaching your hands up to run them through his newly darkened locs. You tug on the strands, and he tilts his head back, shutting his eyes. 

His hands fall from your hips to cup your ass. In one swift move he stands, holding you to him as he walks towards the bed. You rest your forehead against his, and nuzzle his nose.

“Well. I certainly can with you.” He gives your lips a peck with his before tossing you onto the bed. 

You squeal as you land, then start moving backwards on the bed. You can’t help but smile and giggle as he crawls towards you. His dark, fluffy hair falls in front of his eyes and he looks so fucking sexy as he looks down at you.

“Where you going, jagiya?” He asks, straightening his back but still on his knees. He reaches for your leg. “Two weeks without you? We have to make up for the time we’re losing.”

You let out another squeal as he grabs your leg and pulls you towards him. He places his arms on either side of you, caging you in, in the best way possible. You hook your arms around his neck and pull him down towards you. 

After finals are done, it feels like there’s less tension in the house. Everyone’s interacting again versus being huddled up in a corner studying. The house steadily becomes empty as those who are going away for break take their leave. You drop Hyunjin at the airport and try not to think of what it will be like when you have to say goodbye to him for good.

Soon enough, it’s your turn to get dropped off at the airport. Jeongin and Charlotte wave goodbye to you and Chan. They’ll both have the house alone until Jeongin leaves for Korea and you can only imagine what they’ll get up to. You make a mental note to sanitize every communal surface when you get back. 

In the airport, you and Chan barely speak. He has his headphones on and keeps a blank expression plastered to his face. The last couple days his mood seemed to turn sour, and you have no idea what caused it. You have an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach–this is exactly how you did not want to spend the trip.

You busy yourself with checking the destination on your ticket multiple times. With Lee Know in charge of organizing this trip, you couldn’t be sure enough that he hadn’t booked you a flight to Miami, Oklahoma instead of Miami, Florida. 

A few hours later, you and Chan are settled into your business class seats. A few minutes after takeoff, you finally release his hand you’d been clutching for dear life. 

“Sorry,” you apologize, watching him stretch his fingers out. 

He reclines his seat a bit and shifts around to get comfortable. He leans back in the seat and closes his eyes. You lift the window shade and look out at the clouds as you fly through them, trying your best to tame your annoyance. 

You don’t know how long passes, but being an overthinker you’ve gone through several scenarios and outcomes about how this trip could crash and burn if you don’t say something now. You can’t just let his silence go unchecked. You refuse to spend your vacation, that he agreed to come on, this way. You reach over to move his headphones from his right ear. 

“Chan,” you begin, “I haven’t had a real vacation, alone and not with my parents, in almost two years so I’m really looking forward to this, but…”

He’s absentmindedly chewing on his bottom lip as he listens. 

“You’ve been in a shitty mood the last couple days. I want this to be a good trip, I want us to have fun…if you were planning to be miserable, you really didn’t have to come.”

“Planning to be miserable?” He repeats. 

“Your sudden change in attitude?” You shrug. “I would have rather rescheduled the trip, if you were going to be like this. And don’t say like what—you know how you’re treating me.” 

He becomes quiet at your words. You feel proud of yourself for getting them out. There’s no way he doesn’t realize when he’s shutting you out. You look away from him, seeing the stewardess start coming down the aisle with her cart. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I wanna take this trip with you, y/n, I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“You always say that,” you shake your head. 

“That doesn’t mean it’s not true,” he replies. 

You let out a soft sigh. 

“Well, isn’t that what vacations are for?” you ask. “You can travel somewhere far away and leave all the bullshit behind. Forget about school…the future,” you look away from him at that, “you can be someone entirely different when you get to your destination. For a little while, anyway.”

He mulls your words over. 

“Is that what we’re doing?” He pulls his headphones down, so they hang around his neck. 

It certainly hadn’t been your intention, but you spot the sudden playful glint in his eyes and nod your head. You want to smack him. Or yourself. You cannot figure out if it’s him and his bad mood that causes the tension, or you allowing him to sulk in it instead of confronting him about it. 

“And who are we pretending to be?” 

You shrug, “Hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

The stewardess stops next to him with her cart, smiling as she opens the cabinet and produces two champagne flutes. She then fills them up with wine. She hasn’t even asked your drink choice, so you assume she’s preparing it for the pair across the aisle. When she politely reaches over Chan to pull out your tray and sits the drink down, you throw a confused look at him. 

Maybe it’s complimentary…but still, wouldn’t she ask if you wanted it?

“I’m sorry,” you finally speak up. “We didn’t ordered this…could I just get a Sprite?”

“Oh, of course, dear,” she says, but still proceeds to pull out Chan’s tray and sits a drink in front of him too. “These drinks are free to you, on behalf of the flight crew. Congratulations on your engagement–future Mr. and Mrs. Bang.”

You stare and blink, dumbfounded. 

Chan clicks his tongue and mutters something in Korean under his breath. 

“Thank you,” he says with a tight-lipped smile. 

“My pleasure,” she replies. “What else can I get you, sir?”

“Water, please,” he tells her. 

She provides you both a cup filled with ice, and your requested Sprite and water before turning to assist the pair on the other side of the aisle. 

“I’m gonna fucking strangle Lee Know,” you say through gritted teeth. 

“Oh, he’s the first call I’m making when we land,” he concurs. 

The man can’t even be trusted to book flight tickets without some kind of shenanigans attached to it. 

Chan picks up his wine glass and sighs, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. 

“I guess we have our roles,” he says, tilting the rim of his glass towards you. 

You grab your own, but don’t cheers his yet. 

“I don’t know…I was thinking more along the lines of coworkers on a business trip or annoying vloggers or something like that,” you tell him. 

“So you wanna call off the engagement already?” He asks, feigning a hurt look. 

It never ceases to baffle you–how quickly he can go from cold and distant to warm and teasing you. And vice versa. 

“You’re okay with pretending to be my fiancé?” 

He shrugs, “It could be fun. It’ll help take my mind off some things.”

“Really?”

“I’m a committed actor. Very convincing…don’t you remember?”

Of course you remember his stint as Professor Bang. You wouldn’t mind taking a class with him again. But this? Chan pretending to be your fiancé? After your talk with Hyunjin, you know you won’t ever know what it’s like to actually even date him. Let alone fathom marrying him. 

“Okay,” you reply, choosing to indulge. You tap your glass against his before taking a drink. 

You’re so happy that the dark cloud looming over him seems to have dissipated, that it doesn’t even cross your mind how much you might regret this later. Having a sample of this version of Chan? It’s like you’re setting yourself up to get hurt. But you’ll keep telling yourself you’re strong enough to remember it’s not real. That when the time comes to say goodbye to this man, you won’t think about these moments and what could have been. You’ll keep lying to yourself this entire trip.

[ read chapter 18 here ]

a/n: the chan we've been dying to experience is almost here. thank you all so much for your continued support. your feedback, comments, asks, reblogs, etc., ALL your interactions fill my heart with happiness. it encourages me to write more because i don't want to leave you all hanging for too long lol but seriously, tysm!

taglist: i have no idea why it's not letting me tag everyone. i know there's a limit of tags per post but even if i type less than the limit, it's not working :( tagging on hiatus til I can figure it out, i'm sorry.

[matan4il]

911 ep 704 first watch reactions

IDK if anyone else will talk about this, but Josh and Maddie were a great comedic start to this ep! XD Also. Interesting choice to give Josh, the currently only openly gay male character on the show, more lines again. Is it a reminder he's there, so he can be a part of Buck's journey later on? *eyes emoji* We'll see.

All of these pretty women (I should also mention that as a non-American, all the gasped, "It's Joey!" "It's you!" "It's me!" are missing me by a kilometer. Whoever Joey is, he's not Madonna yet, if you want me to get excited about him, 911, you're gonna have to give me a bit more than a single name), hitting on Buck and Eddie, and the ease with which both men turn them down... Sure, this is a part of the set up regarding Buck, and Eddie technically has an excuse, but also. Most straight, taken men would at least be tempted. They'd at least bite their lips with frustration. Have some reaction. But not Eddie. And when you remember that he was distinctly not taken in ep 204, but still had the same reaction to pretty young women hitting on him and Buck... I know this ep is all about celebrating the 'oh' moment of another guy, but that's not gonna stop me from rooting for Eddie to have similar realizations eventually (and get together with that certain other guy *cough*).

LMAO So, Buck is meeting up with the guy who's gonna be his sexual awakening, a man who's good looking, gave him a thrill already, is an impressive fighter pilot, and the first thing he can think of to say, is blurt out Eddie's name? LMAO Oh, this boy really is down bad...

Man, that bit where Tommy tells Buck he can have it both ways, he can get certified and continue to serve with the 118. Thanks for the beautiful foreshadowing, 911. Buck saying he's keeping his options fluid... Holy shit, the show really wasn't holding any punches back.

OMG, why is Harry old enough to be making Bathena waffles (and then turn out to be involved in an altercation)? I swear, he was still on baby formula just a second ago. How did 7 seasons just fly by!?

Buck getting jealous over Eddie and Tommy sparring. Considering the fact that Buck was the one getting all hot and bothered over semi-naked Eddie in the gym in 201, and ready to jump into a boxing match with him, this is making me wanna punch a wall myself. The symbolism in this ep is NOT very veiled. Add to that Eddie mentioning how he and Tommy met and just... clicked. In the same conversation that reminds us of Buddie' in 201's first meeting, where they clicked? (even though they were both too dumb to realize in what way) 911, just let me catch my breath for a second challenge! Also, Eddie is dating Tommy more intensely than he is Marisol? Okay. Duly noted. These firefighters are both so freaking hetero, I'm sure that's exactly what every casual viewer was telling themselves at this point. And poor Buck, getting his hopes up that Eddie is asking him when he's free, so they can go on a date themselves, only to be let down. Poor baby boy. But this feels like it's spelling out the answer to whether Buck's jealous over Tommy or Eddie. So, yay for Tommy helping him with his bi awakening. But it's clear who's really occupying Buck's heart and mind, and whose time he wants. FOR SIX FREAKING SEASONS NOW.

Oh, it's continuing, the show really is trying to kill me, having Buck complain to Maddie about how often Eddie has been seeing Tommy. The annoyance with how cool Tommy is, that's exactly Buck's reaction to Eddie in 201. So, if Buck and Tommy will then kiss, what does that say about what Buck didn't even realize he wanted to happen with Eddie back then, hmmm? I also love that Buck wants to be the cooler "dad's friend" in Christopher's eyes. That's his son, you can't take that away from him. And of course, Maddie was his first confidante about his feels for Eddie, she was the first one to call out his boy crush (in 204) and to hear Buck automatically think about Eddie, when he hears, "He's cute!" (in 206). It's so freaking right that she is now the witness to Buck's bi jealousy meltdown. I love her calling him out on it. "Is it circled with a heart around it?" Honestly, this is better than front row seats at the Bachelor mansion. I'm just disappointed in Chimney and his imaginary popcorn that he doesn't get to witness all of this firsthand and get what it means. Letting down all Bachelor fans out there, Chim. -_-

And then Buck's back in the gym, staring at Eddie, feathers ruffled. Am I going to make it to the end of this ep? Who cares? This is fantastic! XD He tries to catch Eddie's attention with the little weightlifting without a spotter stunt, and it's specifically him. Chim turned out to also be impressed by how cool Tommy is, but Buck is circling Eddie, like a clueless Jane Austen heroine, about to become a hit teen romance movie. Ravi falling for Buck's weightlifting attention trap is just getting in the way. Chim asking about Buck's weird basketball hugging session is nothing but a way to get to the ball game with Eddie. Okay, I'm at the point where I need to be chewing on imaginary popcorn.

Athena is one of the strongest characters on television, ever. Precisely because she's not just tough when she has to be, she has a heart, too. The scene where she told the woman she accidentally killed her own son was hard to just watch. IDK how she actually did that. I'm not sure if viewers who aren't moms get it, 'coz I didn't until I went with my sister through her pregnancy. Motherhood changes you forever. You feel your kid moving inside you. You bond with them in the most intimate way possible before they're even born. You go on a wild journey with them after, where every second counts, let alone every hour and every day, when they're hungry, when they're cold, when they struggle to sleep, when they finally do, when they take their first step, when they fail and fall... The love and protectiveness are something different to anything else in life. IDK how Athena, who gets all of this, managed to break the news to this mother, that she had unknowingly killed her own kid. I think to me, this has to be the most devastating scene in the entire history of the show. IDK if I'll be able to watch it again.

When basketball game scene starts, and Chimney knows something's up, I was already chuckling. But then Eddie sees them, and the first thing isn't expressing joy that his best friend is there, it's asking how did Chim talk him into this. "He always says no to me." They BOTH always talk about each other in romantic coded language, it's not just Buck, and in the same ep where we get bi Buck confirmed, that makes me froth at the mouth...

"So I'm your basketball beard. I feel so bonded." Not Chimney calling Buck out, while using the term for closeted gay guys using someone as a cover. I AM SCREAMING. Thank you, 911 gods!

That montage with Eddie and Tommy high fiving each other right in front of Buck's salad face, while their muscles glisten in the sun, and Top Gun-like music plays in the background, like the biggest nod to the volleyball scene from that gayest movie ever made, which we already had Buddie paraphrasing in 201. I am fine, this is fine. I love this burning kitchen I'm sitting in.

Buck causing Eddie's injury because of his jealousy (which again, is not about Tommy. He made an impression on Chim as well, who was screaming, "Buck, I'm open! I'm OPEN!") and not even getting to offer some help, because Tommy's already on it... I hope ABC is happy with their viewership dropping next week, because they've killed every Buddie shipper in the fandom.

"Well, I'm not a 14 year old girl..." Both Buck and Maddie together: "So stop acting like one." Love this scene, love these siblings, love that the reference with the two blonde Sarahs sounds platonic, but it's also from a past season on the Bachelor. 911 really wants you to know this is romantic, and Buck's going through a late sexual awakening in his 30's, instead of in his teens, even before he's able to see it.

So, the conclusion to Buck and Maddie's convo is that he needs to talk to Eddie, to make it better, yet the person he ends up talking to is Tommy, and that leads to the bi awakening kiss... It's a classic rom com switch, we hear a knock at the door, we expect it to be THE love interest, showing up at the right time, and it's someone else, making the protagonist's romantic journey so close, but about to get longer. It's further emphasized by a shot over Tommy's shoulder, in a way that he can easily be confused for Eddie, and which is reminiscent of moment when we saw Buck standing at Eddie's door, or both of them there toegther.

It was a nice talk, I loved Tommy saying he can't replace Buck, I def noticed how he went to talk about it in the context of Chris instead of Eddie (hmmm... I wonder why), but my fave part was how Buck glowed when he heard his son doesn't shut up about him. ^u^ He even took a second to look away from Tommy, to take it in with a huge grin. Then Buck and Tommy start warming up to each other, moving towards flirtation, and what comes out of Buck's mouth? "You don't have to tell me how great Eddie is." That's not how you flirt with a guy, Buck. I liked Tommy kissing him, and Buck not recoiling. Like he's always known on some level, but could never do anything about it. "That's better than fake mouth static." LOL The stuff that great romance is made of.

I'm SO happy Buck is getting this storyline of realization he's bi, I've thought it would be important and that the show has laid some groundwork for it since 107, and I don't mind that Tommy is the "romantic other" who helps him with it. I do believe this is important bi representation in and of itself, away from Buddie, and if nothing else ever comes of it, this is still beyond wonderful. In 2024, we still barely have any characters who start out presumed straight, and are allowed the freedom to figure out that maybe their sexual orientation is different than what they thought, despite the fact that in reality, human sexuality is complex and confusing and a mess. So this really matters to me, as a human being, and as a queer person. That said, I can't ignore the past 5 seasons, and the way this storyline played out, with Tommy kissing Buck, but the whole thing being emotionally centered around Buck's feelings for Eddie, it means that whether they go canon or not (and at this point, I find it hard to believe they'd make Buck canonically bi, taking this HUGE risk of homophobic backlash, and not go there with him and Eddie, but just in case they don't, I wanna say this), it'll always be Buddie for me.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[narcissistshandler]

More of Jake Kim x top!male reader please! Like the reader help Jake to unwind after a long day (and also can you please add 69 position too, like somewhere in the story?) Thank you in advance!

𝗠𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗖*𝗖𝗞

✧ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 male reader x jake kim/kim gimyung

✧ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 top!amab! reader, bottom!jake, 69, blowjob (jake giving reader), rimming and fingering (reader giving jake), anal sex, very light sub/dom dynamic alternating between sub/dom jake and sub/dom reader

✧ 𝖠/𝖭 This one is another that was in my drafts for weeks because I got lost in the narrative, sorry for the delay

Not even if Jake wanted to he would be able to hide from you how tired he was, so even in front of your slightly worried look he just smiled as he let the bag slide from his shoulder to the floor, giving you that usual bright smile and fell into your open arms on the sofa in the living room. There were deep circles under his dark eyes, and even the daily phone calls weren't enough to make up for it when Jake spent the last few days away from home, training and looking to learn more about his dad.

"You need a shower," you said, arms tightening around his waist so you could hold him closer.

"Wow, thanks, I missed you too, [name]," he replied, feigning annoyance that broke within seconds as a chuckle escaped his lips. You weren't wrong though, Jake spent the last few hours on on a long journey in a stuffy bus because it was the last option if he wanted to get home today and Jake couldn't stand being one day longer away from you, from what was left of the Big Deal and from home.

"I missed you," you stated, lifting his chin with your index finger so you could take his lips in a kiss. "So much."

Jake melted against your chest, the weight in his shoulders seeming to melt away as your lips molded against each other. His mouth dropped open for you in a show of submission that didn't sit well with him. But Jake was damn tired and he couldn't think of anything better than to lay back and let you have your way with him.

You pulled back, breaking the kiss, your hands trailing down Jake's rigid back over the sweat-soaked t-shirt - from shoulder blades to coccyx.

"You're tense," you commented. "Dinner, shower and sleep?"

And as tempting as that offer was, Jake countered:

"Bath and you fuck me until I pass out?"

One of your hands came up to run through his hair and Jake could almost see the thoughts running through your head, but more than that, he could feel you slowly getting hard against his stomach and he almost instinctively moved to touch you, hand open falling over the tent that formed in your pants.

"You-" you started, but cut yourself off with a soft moan, eyes darkening. "Okay, whatever you want, yeobo."

The freezing water under that Jake did his best to take a quick shower under and make sure his body was clean for you was unable to lessen the heat building in his body like flames slowly getting bigger. The odor of sweat was replaced by the smell of soap and water and when Jake pressed two fingers inside himself to make sure he was ready and clean for you, his dick reacted in an interested twitch even under the cold spray. That's when he decided he couldn't wait another minute.

You were sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, naked — as Jake had ordered you before entering the bathroom —, cock hard against the stomach with the head red and oozing, begging to be touched, you didn't however, never would dare touch yourself without Jake's express and clear permission and you hadn't received it in weeks.

It was hard to know which of you two was more looking forward to having the other after so long apart.

Jake dripped all the way from the bathroom to the bed, wet footprints and water droplets left behind on the floor and then onto the sheet as he climbed onto the bed. In erotic familiarity, placing each leg on either side of your hips and sitting on top of you, like a king on a throne. The feel of your bare skins touching sent an instant thrill through his veins.

Your hands landed on his hips, cocks mere inches apart. Jake melted under the attention, an almost basic need to be near you, under you or over you igniting all of his senses, more than he needed to breathe or eat or sleep or drink, he needed you and it was getting harder and harder keep thinking straight.

"How do you want this, jagiya?" The title of 'sir' or 'boss' or 'master' for when you felt more submerged and obedient than usual wasn't there today, although the lightness in your tone was the same as usual, a silent plea for 'please tell me what to do'.

"First," Jake began, gently rocking his hips. Your cocks rubbed together briefly, the sensitive tips bumping into each other and mixing the leaking pre-cum before Jake's hips drew back again. Your fingers tightened on his waist as you watched the lustful display. "Kiss me."

You did. You kissed him hard and longingly, wistful after all the days you spent apart, fingers sinking into his skin and pulling him against you as your tongue slipped into his mouth.

Jake's mouth opened easily for you, hand finding your hard cock that pressed against his. You were already wet for him, already oozing even though he barely touched you.

Jake's fingers barely closed around your cock and each pull drew familiar, erotic sounds from you that were lost in the kiss. He knew you made even more delicious sounds when his mouth was on you, when your cock worked its way down his throat at whatever pace Jake decided he wanted. His mouth watered at the faint memory of your smell and taste; hole tightening.

He pulled back, breaking the kiss and lowered his attention to watch the bulbous head of your cock disappearing between his thin, callused fingers, semi-transparent beads of pre-cum wetting them.

"I want you inside," he said, the honey-sweet words rolling off his tongue. "Get me ready for your cock."

You snarled like a wild animal and he felt your cock twitch in the grip of his hand. Jake can't help but laugh, proud of himself for having such an effect on you.

"Go get the lube and stop teasing me or I might come before I even get inside you."

"Dare and I'll put a chastity belt on you."

Jake gave you two last tugs, finding it difficult to stop touching you before getting off of you and crawling to the end of the bed where he could reach the lube on the nightstand among other toys stored there.

You fixed your pillow and moved to lay on the bed, patting your chest. "Come here."

He went with a wide, perverted smile on his thin lips, handing the lube into your hands before positioning himself as you wanted.

Your free hands soon returned to help him position himself, pulling him back until his ass was close to your face. Jake's legs sank bent into the mattress, wet cock dragging against your chest and your own cock ending up at a tempting distance from his face. Despite the excitement bubbling in his stomach, the new position brings a flush to his cheeks. Jake couldn't stop thinking about how he must look in your eyes, all open and exposed and within easy reach of you; tight balls visible between the legs and hole twitching where you could now see with your hands holding his ass cheeks apart. Embarrassment aside, he really liked it.

Your breath hit against the wrinkled muscles, a mere forewarning of what was to come before your tongue made the first contact. Jake melted with a loud groan, falling completely flat on top of you, all strength seeming to leave his body.

Your fingers dig into his skinny ass, spreading it further apart as your face sinks against him, your tongue, wet and soft and so good, rubbing against the tightly contracted muscles, licking and kissing and making his hole a mess of saliva and spit. Completely dirty.

His entire body shudders under the stimulation and your tongue is fucking him, pressing its way inside and the muscles in his legs immediately tense, rocking back powerless against the heat of your mouth as he struggles to get more of your tongue, needy. And it's not enough and at the same time it's so much, so much and he wants more, deeper, more-

Jake knew he was being loud, he knew he was being damn loud and damn needy as he rocked back against your mouth, one of his hands reaching behind to help keep himself open as he felt one of your fingers easily slide inside his relaxed hole, and then another one. He had missed it. Missed you, the sex with you.

With his other hand, Jake took your cock and brought it to his mouth, eyes falling closed as the familiar weight slid into his mouth and onto his tongue, the bitter taste of your pre-cum making him moan as soon as it hit his senses.

Your tongue pressed inside him, right between the two fingers you held scissors apart inside him and a muscle in his leg jumped. He could feel his hole opening and closing, tightening around the intrusion, the combined sensations of your fingers and tongue eliciting a insane pleasure from him.

Mind overheated, Jake didn't even notice that his mouth had stopped working. He just kept your cock in the heat of his mouth, making no move to suck or lick. Like your personal cock warmer, saliva pooling on his tongue and eyes drooping shut in an attempt to deal with the intensity of your touch, he gave in to the sensations. It was a strange thought that didn't scare him, if Jake could pick his paradise then this would be it: rationality turned off with sweetness by your hands and mouth, body being used by you.

Jake's cock dripped nonstop, occasionally twitching where it was pressed between your and his bodies. His feet sank into the sheets, legs trying constantly to close, body continuing trying to curl and tighten in involuntary reactions.

Your fingers slid along the sensitive walls, just a little deeper, seeming to play with him; in, out, rubbing and pressing, until your fingers curled inside him, hitting his prostate and a moan died in Jake's throat.

His entire body was so hot Jake didn't even notice his cock spilling out. The orgasm came easy and smooth, coursing through him in gentle shock waves that had his hole clenching around your fingers so hard it felt like it wanted to suck on them. Moans echoed around your cock in his mouth, spittle running down his parted lips and then chin.

You gently rocked your fingers in and out of him, helping him ride out the orgasm, wet tongue sloppily licking the rim that clung to your digits. Jake clamped his lips around your cock, sucking weakly as small shock waves ran down his spine. His dick twitched again, spilling every last drop onto your chest, his balls squeezing tightly.

Then your fingers were gone, leaving him devastatingly empty. A whimper rose all the way up his throat.

“Shhh,” you shushed him. "Hush now, love."

Your firm hands moved up to his hips, moving him off of you with an ease that never failed to make Jake's mind short circuit. He loved it when you moved him. He went easily, mouth now empty, letting you lay him down on the bed, chest against the sheets, muscles relaxed and malleable under your power.

"I'm going to fuck you now, yes?"

Jake groaned, gripping the sheet between his fingers, eagerly spreading his legs for you.

He couldn't force himself to form coherent words and he didn't even need to, all that existed was the fat head of your cock wet with Jake's saliva pressed against the open, relaxed rim.

Then you sank inside him, with one thrust. Jake felt his muscles being stretched with a burning sensation that sizzled through his spine, your cock pushing its way in until it sits completely deep inside, your hips resting against his ass. The preparation hadn't been enough to rid him of the pain, you both knew that the burn of stretching always left Jake trembling, yearning for more.

“So tight for me, Jake,” you murmur, lips against the heated skin of his shoulder. "So good, so sweet, such a pretty whore."

Jake sobs at the praise, eyes falling closed as he surrenders to the overwhelm of being filled, the sensation almost too much, leaving him trembling beneath you, sweet hole quivering and twitching, sweat running down the back of his neck.

And you just stay there, weight steady against his lean back, rolling your hips against him without rushing, feeling Jake's hole opening and relaxing gently against the pressure, like he was made for this, like he was made for your cock and nothing else.

[piratefishmama]

Fake It Till You Make It | Part 8

"Oh Steven..."

The view of Eddie was obstructed pretty quickly when Steve manoeuvred him behind him, turning fully to face his dad using his broader body to shield Eddie from view. “He’s—”

“Panicking. He’s panicking. I have eyes Steven. Lynda get this poor boy a glass of water would you?” A chair creaking from inside the room told them all his mother had gotten up to do as she was asked, and while that might have caused most to relax, Steve still stood his ground. A human blockade. “It’s okay son, you’re going to have to move eventually it might as well be now, he’s safe.”

“Is he?” Eddie rested his forehead against the centre of Steve’s shoulders, right at the base of his neck, just… rested there, Steve wouldn’t let anyone hurt him, it’d be okay.

“Well I’m not about to invite my son to send me to hospital, am I?” A wise choice, it seemed like Steve was fully prepared to do just that if necessary. “This house is safe for you both, and it always will be.” John stepped to the side a little, just enough to be able to see around Steve’s shoulder, although Steve was tempted to move into his way again, he’d put himself in the way of a train if it meant protecting someone else, Eddie was certain of it at that point “Eddie… was it?”

He’d overheard while Steve was talking to him. He knew his name. Eddie looked up, basically peeking over Steve’s shoulder. It was awkward, given they were almost the same height, but… he still felt safer there.

“Oh heavens, John step aside, you’re frightening the poor thing to death” And there was Lynda, nudging John aside with a tall glass of water in hand “Eddie, come on out from behind there,” as if ‘there’ wasn’t her damn close to six foot son “it’s okay” he was a grown man, yet he felt like he was seven all over again, hiding behind a couch away from the police who’d come to get his dad.

He’d only hidden because his dad used to tell him that if he was naughty the police would take him away, and he may have… coincidentally… drawn on his bedroom wall, he’d hidden it pretty well but… there were suddenly police bashing down the door!

Just so happened they were there for his father, who’d been doing much naughtier things.

Steve didn’t move, so that left the choice up to him. A choice he had to make, no matter how scary it was. He was there, there was no getting out of the plan now. They’d seen him, he couldn’t make a run for it… or he could but he’d never able to look Steve or Dustin in the face ever again, which left only one real option.

He took a deep breath, placed a hand on Steve’s bicep, and stepped out from behind him. Steve’s hand was very quick to find his, holding him, grounding him, a tether to keep him stable and god it felt nice to have it there, warm, and secure, fingers perfectly slotted between his own. He could only imagine what a pair they looked though.

The King and the Court Jester.

The Jock and the Freak.

Perfect and Completely Imperfect.

He knew what he looked like, how people looked at him, even in clean clothes, even having brushed his hair, he still looked like he’d just rolled out of bed sometimes, and Steve… god… There weren’t words for how perfect Steve looked.

It seemed effortless but Eddie knew Steve must have put in genuine effort. It was attractive how much effort he must have been putting in.

They all looked that perfect though. He truly looked so very out of place. Lynda in her pristine white shirtdress, a belt around her waist giving it shape and John in his expensive pale blue polo and pressed chinos.

There he was, in a hand-me-down red and black flannel, the only pair of jeans he owned that weren’t ripped at the knee (although they were getting there), hands full of silver rings, an old handed down Casio watch, scuffed Reeboks, and the one band Tee he had that wasn’t dirty.

The pickings had been slim he really should have done some laundry. He should have accepted Steve’s offer to help him clean up. They’d have been still doing it!

“Hi… I’m—I’m Eddie… Eddie Munson.” They didn’t know the family name, and it didn’t surprise him either, Wayne wasn’t raised in Hawkins, he’d just settled there after he learned Eddie would be handed to him. Traded his truck for a trailer in a random pick of a town and swapped his long haul journeys for night shifts at the plant and that was that.

They couldn’t have known his family name.

“Oh my…” it wasn’t a disgusted oh my, although her eyes did widen, he felt… seen as she looked him up and down, seemingly sizing him up, and then… she turned to Steve and all his worries seemed to vanish when she, with genuine mischief in her voice, said “he’s a bit out of your league isn’t he, Steven? I know we encourage you to be ambitious but—”

“W-what?!” And that was Steve, flustered in his response “No, I’m—he’s—”

“Sweetheart” oh she sounded so cheeky “he has tattoos” Eddie quickly glanced down at his bare forearms where he’d rolled his sleeves up earlier, bats on display, his tattoos usually a source of judgement, she wasn’t judging him though. “You’re afraid of needles.”

“I am NOT!”

“That’s not what I remember from your last round of shots.”

“I was five.” At least he was the last time they’d gone with him to get his shots done. "I've had plenty of shots since then."

“These fears don’t just vanish, Steven, how do you expect to hold onto this handsome young man if you can’t even handle a little pri—”

“Lynda please.” John interrupted what would have been a stellar takedown with a comical amount of exasperation, the man pinching the bridge of his nose as if staving off an incoming headache. Eddie, against all odds, was smiling, fighting back genuine giggles, the free hand not wrapped within Steve’s lifted to cover his mouth as if to hold them in.

“What? It’s not like it didn’t work.” She handed John the glass she’d been holding, since Eddie no longer seemed to need the water, then took a step closer to Eddie “Eddie, dear… how about you and Steven come into the living room, and we can get to know you a little, how does that sound?” There was no anger in her tone, no disgust hidden in the layers of it, she just… she smiled at him.

Where were these ‘rich assholes’ people kept claiming the Harringtons to be? Because he didn’t see them. He could understand the hesitation to trust, he was still nervous, the fear still licked at his very soul that maybe, just maybe they were biding their time, waiting for the right moment to strike when he couldn’t get out, but… was there any reason to be distrustful?

Had the Harringtons ever been outspoken against his people? Ever? Save for maybe one or two occasions where Steve had called someone queer as an insult back in high school, before he’d obviously grown.

People just assumed.

Those at the bottom just assumed the worst of all of those at the top. Same as most assumed the worst of him, that he was mean, that he was scary. They were just at opposite ends of the social ladder. There had to be some good among the rich, why not the Harringtons?

Why couldn’t they be good? Why not at least give them the opportunity to be good?

“Y-yeah… yeah, that’d uh—that’d be okay I think.” Steve squeezed his hand so gently, another attempt to ground him, to keep him tethered. To keep him calm, and it worked. It helped. Steve was there, Steve would keep him safe. No matter who came at them, Steve would keep him safe, not a King at all.

A loyal Knight, a Paladin, a Defender. He’d probably be safe walking through the fiery pits of hell itself, as long as Steve was there beside him. “You sure you’re okay, Eddie? We can go back to yours, we can just… try another day.” And Steve checked in with him too as his parents returned to the Living room, Lynda pausing at the door to wait for them while her husband continued on.

Steve’s hand warm around his, looking at him with a level of concern nobody had bothered to bestow upon him before.

Not even Wayne, but Wayne was kinda gruff, he showed his love in other ways. Steve barely knew him… he was just, that kind of person apparently.

“Nah, we’re here now and with you here? My very own big, strong knight in shining armour? I’m pretty sure I could brave anything.”

And that bashful little smile of Steve’s whenever someone praised him?

Beautiful.

Beautiful enough to chase any bad feelings away with their tails between their legs. Beautiful enough to give him the boost he needed to pull Steve along by his hand and into that living room with Lynda, beautiful enough to give him the strength to take on the goddamn world.

Or at least the scariest thing he could think of in it at the time, that being… being himself in front of two complete strangers who could ruin his life with zero repercussions aside from their son being angry at them.

So it was a pretty big deal, that smile of his.

The first thing Eddie registered as he entered the main living room though, was that off to the right, there was a magnificent mahogany table, complete with three chairs on either side and one at each end.

Last time he’d seen it, it’d been covered in pizza boxes and alcohol options, its majesty concealed beneath a layer of filth. “Stevie can I—” couldn’t help himself

“Later” Steve was quicker than him though, Dustin had already brought up the table before, it wasn’t hard to guess where Eddie’s mind would go.

Of course he’d shot Dustin down, but Eddie? Maybe… just maybe he’d let Eddie use it. Only once his parents left again though, something told him they’d draw a line at a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, one of the main highlights of the ongoing Satanic Panic, being held in their dining room, whether they used it or not.

“So!" John began as he found his seat once more, waiting only for Steve and Eddie to sit down on the sofa close by, side by side, hand in hand, looking like the least likeliest pair in existence, to begin. "Eddie, tell us a little about yourself, how’d you both meet?”

Straight into the deep end then. "Well..."

Part 10

[creedslove]

VALENTINE'S DAY WITH JOEL MILLER - HEADCANONS 🍓

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I know I'm late to the party but I was too sick to get anything done yesterday so yeah, besties sorry about that ❤️

• first of all, let me clarify something: Joel Miller is a romantic man at heart no matter if he always seems to be grumpy and angry, all he needs is someone who can break his walls and he'll unleash his full romance potential

• Joel spent a long time away from this romantic stuff, after Sarah's mom left him, he didn't see a point in trying again in a relationship so he just focused on work and his daughter and dates such as valentine's day became a random day in the calendar where he'd buy some candy and share it with his daughter on the couch watching bad movies

• but that all changed when you came into picture and Joel knew he had to do something about it, though he wasn't sure exactly what. Not only was he shy, but also a little insecure and didn't exactly know what to do, what was in nowadays and what was considered lame

• so Sarah jumped on it to help her dad; she was so excited to see him dating again, deciding to move on with his love life, she was more than willing to help him and you to have a real nice Valentine's day

• so one day after work, he found her sat at the kitchen table, she had a planner in hands and highlighters of all colors and presented Joel all the options she found suitable for your Valentine's day

• Joel felt like scoffing and rolling his eyes, if that girl knew he was *THE* lady killer back in his days, she wouldn't even try that

• but the fact was that his daughter actually had gathered quite a few good options and suggestions so he began thinking about what he was going to do; he went through several scenarios but decided to go with the most traditional one: flowers, dinner, present

• however, he was still quite nervous about it, not being so sure if you'd enjoy his ideas, the fear of being old or just out of fashion made him doubt his plan, but when Sarah stepped in and assured him that red roses were still the best gift for Valentine, just as an Italian restaurant was also a good option and that gorgeous necklace was an amazing gift, he felt reassured

• so when Valentine's day came, he went to pick you up at your place, and you could've sworn he looked even cuter as he was nervously waiting for you outside the car, he had a new flannel shirt on and his damp hair was slicked back, and you couldn't help but feel your heart racing for him, especially when you spotted the gorgeous red bouquet in his hand

• you rushed to Joel and pecked his lips, it caught him off guard at first, his nervousness distracting him from you, but his arms immediately wrapped around your body, more than glad to be able to pull you to him, and deepening the kiss

• he groaned at how soft your skin was and how good you smelled, it was delicious and so tempting, he couldn't help but slide down to your neck, nuzzling and nibbling it, making you giggle and squealed softly, Joel had his devilish way of handling you, but you'd rather for him to use his powers if it weren't in front of your neighbors

• and then Joel takes you to his truck, being a gentleman and opening the door of course and obviously his huge hand would be on your thigh through the whole drive

• at the restaurant Joel would insist you order whatever you want without even looking at the price, but you know there's no reason to splurge, just being on that date is more than enough

• and a date with Joel Miller I'm talking about a lot of eye contact, holding hands, Joel telling you how pretty you are, calling you his doll, darling, sweetheart, princess, babygirl, anything to melt your heart

• and then towards the end of your romantic dinner, you exchange presents: Joel got you a beautiful necklace and you got him a new pair of boots

• you kiss and hold hands on your way back to the truck, it's still early and he invites you to sleep at his house, but he warns you that Sarah is still there, so you can't be that explicit and you chuckle, reminding him you can behave yourself for a while

• as you two get home, Sarah is by herself on the couch, and she smiles big when she spots the two of you, she's happy to see you and her dad all giggly from the wine and the high spirits

• so you open your purse and hand her a box of chocolates, she deserves a treat as well, and the three of you enjoy the rest of your evening watching whatever on TV, you're not really paying attention to it, you're just enjoying that little family it's slowly becoming yours

• once Sarah went to bed, Joel pulled you to his lap, as you both made out like teenagers, your Valentine's day was just beginning and you were gonna enjoy every single last second of it

____

[damn-stark]

Chapter 3 I’d make a deal with god

Chapter 3 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I hope you guys like the chapter

Warning- ANGST, violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter, some fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x05-1x06 (only the beginning)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

The street was quiet. And as far as views go, it was the same way as it was in the tunnel, dark and eerie.

The stars overhead were tempting to admire, you felt grateful that you were out of the humid tunnel and breathing fresh air, but the cul-de-sac was too quiet, and you weren’t actually across the river yet. You knew better than to get your hopes up too soon; just like most of what you’ve learned from life, you learned that the hard way.

Yet it seems Henry and Sam don’t quite get that.

Then again how could they know? The farthest they’ve gone out of the city is being in that forest. They only know a small part of what the world is like.

“No,” Henry breaks the silence you had purposely left as you tried to make your way to the bridge. “No one is here. No one’s gonna be here because my plan worked.”

Your dad scoffs in annoyance, “so much goddamn talkin’.”

You look back at Henry over your shoulder and add on too. “We’re not across the river yet, let’s wait to celebrate then.”

“I’m just saying,” Henry continues smugly. “I delivered.”

You smirk faintly and roll your eyes to look back ahead.

“Make this right,” he points out. “Go down the street, embankment behind the last house, and we’re out.”

“So we cross the river and then what?” Ellie asks. “Where ya gonna go?”

You glance over at your dad, and even if it hasn’t been discussed you know that there’s no option but to travel home together now.

At least you hope that’s what he’s thinkin’ too.

“We’re going to Wyoming,” you share and blink to look at your dad for reassurance. “We can go together.”

But as expected when your dad meets your gaze he remains nonchalant. He then peers back at Henry though, and seems to look…unsure. “How about we cross the river and then talk.”

You swallow thickly and look back ahead. Would this really be it?

Ellie notices his look, he reads him like you do and comments on the matter. “Don’t worry he’ll give in. Trust me.”

Trust her?

How long have they been together?

“This is how it goes?” Ellie continues. “He’s like, No, Ellie,” she begins to mock him in a deep voice, causing you to blink in disbelief before you peer back at her. “Never, ever, ever happening.”

Regardless of what uneasiness you felt by his lack of agreeance, what jealousy just sparked, you can’t help but grin in amusement at her teasing.

“And then I’m like,” Ellie continues in her normal voice. “I’m gonna ask you a million more times. And he’s like—”

Before she can finish what she’s saying, she’s suddenly interrupted by the sound of a gunshot whizzing past your ear, and hitting the ground inches away from you.

“Fuck!” Ellie screams, while you cover your ear and throw yourself to the ground, losing that smile.

“Move, move!” Your dad yells and proceeds to grab your arm to yank you off the ground, and push you and Ellie behind a rusted car.

“Y/N,” you hear Henry from the ear that’s not currently ringing. “Are you okay? Did it hit you?”

You groan and shake your head. “No…no,” you pant. “Just went past me.”

“Where fuck is that coming from—”

“Shut up,” your dad cuts Henry off now.

You pull your hand away from your ear as the ringing begins to fade, and look over at your dad peeking past the top of the hood. A gunshot then breaks a car window though, so he ducks his head back down.

“How many?” You ask him.

Your dad shakes his head. “One, I think. I can’t be sure, not from here.”

You swallow thickly and snatch your rifle off your shoulder. You try to suggest a risky idea that comes to mind, but then another gunshot goes off and a hand wraps around your wrist instead.

“Shit,” Henry panics and looks away from the shooter to try and move with Sam at his other hand. “Alright, fuck. Let’s move. Let’s go.”

Without hesitance you yank your arm back and grab his wrist instead to pull him back down. “I’m not leaving my dad. And you can’t just get up like that or you’ll get shot,” you scold him as kindly as you can sound. “Stay down.” You then snap your eyes to your dad and share the idea you had in mind. “I can shoot them, I just need a distraction so he doesn’t end up shooting me.”

A bullet hits the car you’re behind, and your dad lets his gaze linger on you as he thinks about the plan you shared.

You want him to say yes so he’d see that you’re capable, that you’ve changed from that little girl he saw last time, years ago.

However, he shakes his head and sighs.

“Dad—”

“I’ll go,” he cuts you off before you can argue. “You two stay here.” He directs to Ellie and yourself.

“What?” Ellie asks in confusion.

He turns to face Ellie now. “If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you,” he tells her, and then looks to you. “I’m gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then I’ll take him out.”

You shake your head and protest. “If you go out there, he’s gonna kill you.”

“It’s dark and he has shit aim. Nobody’s gonna kill me. Besides, I ain’t putting you at risk.”

“You just said—”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off sharply. “Do you trust me?”

You lower your shoulders from their tense position, you let your face soften from its hardened state and nod softly without as much as thinking about it.

Your dad proceeds to pull his gun out and looks to Ellie to speak to her. “If anything happens you stick with her, got it?”

Ellie glances at you and hesitates before returning her gaze to him and nodding in comprehension. After that your dad proceeds to scurry away through the cover of night, making the person in that house try to follow him with their gun to try and shoot him.

And now, while the person is distracted you lift your head over the car's hood to finally take a peek yourself. That’s when you catch only one light reflecting from a window before the bullet hits the ground in front of the car. You proceed to look around at the other houses to see if there were more, but your dad was right it seems to be just one in the house straight ahead.

Just one. Your dad will be fine.

You duck back behind the car and wait. Wait in anticipation. You hold onto your pendant around your neck and wait. A few more bullets go off and hit the objects around you, you wait for them to reload and shoot again, but a longer silence follows now, letting you guess that your dad might have reached the shooter now.

You slowly lift your head and peek out, and luckily this time you see no more reflection. Yet you can’t be assured that your dad has gotten to him, not until you can see him up there giving you all a sign.

However, a few seconds pass of more silence and he doesn’t give you any. Instead you hear one gunshot echo, it doesn’t hit anything nearby it just echoes, meaning one of two things; your dad shot the shooter, or the shooter shot your dad.

You can’t think of losing him just as you reunited, so you’ll go with he’s the one that shot the shooter first.

“It seems your dad got him,” Henry interjects.

You stop fiddling with the pendant and meet his gaze with hope. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think so too. Let’s just wait until he gives a sign though.”

Henry nods in agreement, and silence follows again. Albeit the silence breaks soon thereafter with a distant scream from your dad. “Run!”

You blink in confusion, and hang your rifle over your shoulder again as you slowly push yourself up to try and get a view of him.

“Run!” Your dad yells again.

Why is he saying that?

And only seconds later is when you begin to hear the distant sounds of engines running. When you snap your eyes ahead you notice headlights down the street, getting larger the closer they get, and brighter as more than one begins to appear.

“Go! Go, go!” You bellow to the group, and push Ellie in front of you so she can get ahead of you so can you run behind her, Henry and Sam.

The closer the leading car gets, the more you hear metal clashing as cars blocking the street get shoved aside. Bullets ring against metal too as your dad tries to shoot the driver of the moving truck, and as Ellie tries to shoot back aimlessly.

You want to shoot at the driver too to at least get that car off your trail, but when you hit the trigger you come out empty since you haven’t given Henry his empty pistol back.

“Fuck,” you grumble. “Fuck. Fuck.”

As Henry and Sam get ahead faster, you mindlessly begin to run past Ellie to try and reach the other end of the street. However, it’s at that moment that you begin to get ahead that you suddenly hear glass clash, brakes then screech before you hear a crash through one of the wooden houses.

You try to look back at the sight, you try to look back even when you hear multiple cars brake behind you, even if it’s one thing you didn’t like to do while running away from dangerous shit, but you remember Ellie had fallen behind, so you look. That’s when you see her on the ground, and multiple people climbing out of their cars.

It’s a fucking risk to go back especially since they all have guns, but you can’t leave her behind, not even if you feel a smidge of jealousy towards her. Maybe giving her the slight cold shoulder is something that you can live with, but leaving her behind is something that would haunt you, so you quickly turn back around on your heels and sprint towards her.

She catches you running at her as she remains stunned on the ground and her eyes brighten before she pushes herself up and then runs at you.

“Come on!” You yell at her. “Come on!”

Ellie quickens her pace as best as she can, and just as you throw your hand out to reach for hers suddenly an explosion goes off at your side, and the force throws you both to the ground.

“Fuck,” you cough out seconds later, and flutter your eyes open, catching a bright raging light now brighten the street. “Fuck.” You snap your head up and see Ellie moving slightly. That fills you with relief over the fact that she isn’t badly hurt. Or at least that’s what it seems like.

“Ellie,” you call out between pants. “Ellie, are you—”

Before you can finish your question though, hands get slapped around your arms and begin to yank off the ground.

“Come on, come on,” someone muffles.

You snap your head back in a panic, but thankfully only see Henry.

“You’re not hurt?” He asks.

You shake your head and get up to your feet. “No, no, I’m okay. Go, help Ellie.”

Henry nods and leaves your side to run to Ellie while you run to Sam behind a car.

“Are you okay?” Sam immediately signs to you worringly once you’re ducked close to him.

You nod quickly and redirect his question. “You okay?”

Sam nods, and both of your gazes lift as Henry and Ellie join you ducked behind the car.

“You okay?” You ask Ellie as she fixes herself between Sam and you.

She nods and mumbles, “yeah.”

Multiple footsteps now step closer, and commands get thrown out that make you stiffen. “He’s up there! Two and two! Around the back, take him out!”

“Fuck!” You hiss. There’s no way to take them out without getting caught or leaving yourself vulnerable. Fuck.

“Dead end, Henry!” You hear a woman shout—Kathleen most likely. “Gonna step out? Save us some time?”

Henry of course doesn’t answer, so Kathleen continues.

“No? That’s alright. Doesn’t matter.”

You rest your head against the car and try to think of some plan to get out of this position. Yet, Henry then interjects. “I’ll come out!”

You quickly snap your head over to him and shake it in protest. “No,” you whisper. “No, Henry no.”

Said man meets your gaze and lets his eyes linger on you. “Just let the girl and kids go!” He shouts.

You keep shaking your head in hopes he’d change his mind.

“No,” Kathleen retorts. “Sorry. The little girl is with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam, and the other girl, well they’re with you.”

You shift your eyes away and scoff.

What the fuck?! What the fuck is her problem? Wanting to kill you, you understand, but the kids?

“You don’t understand!” Henry rebuttals.

But Kathleen doesn’t listen. “But I do,” she counters. “I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?”

What the hell?

You shake your head and curl your lip in anger and disgust.

“He’s just a fucking kid!” Henry yells back.

“Well, kids die, Henry,” Kathleen says without an ounce of sympathy in her tone. “They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth everything? Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate.”

“Get ready to take him and run,” Henry blurts at you quietly.

You look over at him and see him looking at you. “No,” you rebuttal. “No.”

“Y/N,” he insists. “Yes.”

You try to look angry at his stupid choice, but instead you look hurt.

“Henry,” you whisper, but he then cups your cheek and cuts you off.

“Please. Do it.”

You stare into his eyes and want to argue, you want to yell at him for wanting to risk his life like this, for wanting you to take Sam away without leaving with him, but…you don’t. You trust him and understand this one need, you give in for him, for the love you already harbor.

“Fine,” you whisper and look over at Sam, noticing Ellie take his hand for you.

“It’s time, Henry,” Kathleen interjects. “Enough!”

You look back at Henry and meet his gaze, seeing him hesitate for a few seconds. So you reach for his trembling hand and give it a gentle squeeze. He proceeds to let his eyes linger in your hurt gaze for a moment longer before he averts his gaze, and puts his head back to pant and then whisper to himself, “okay,” before he stands up and raises his hands while he slowly steps towards the aggressor.

“It ends the way it ends,” Kathleen says after a few seconds of silence, and cocks her gun before she shouts another command. “Grab the girl he’s with too, I want him to see her die.”

You gasp and freeze since you know she only means you.

“No!” Henry shouts. “Wait, no! Not her! She had nothing to do with it! It was just me!”

Footsteps begin to approach, and your heart begins to race, your hands begin to shake, but you put on a brave face and roll your eyes to the side to glare at the rugged man approaching you.

“Touch them and I’ll kill you,” you grimace.

The man tries to grab you, but you stand up by yourself and step away from him. “Don’t you dare,” you snap and raise your hands.

“Come on,” the man orders and points the gun forward.

“No,” Kathleen adds now as you get forced to stand by Henry. “She might have not had anything to do with it, but you care about her.”

You drift your eyes to Henry, and end up meeting his angry and worried gaze.

“It’s okay,” you mouth to him with an assuring look and smile. “It’s okay.” You drift your gaze back to Kathleen and shoot her an unbothered glare.

There’s only one man next to you, the others are standing a bit too far to react too fast. They wouldn’t let one of their own die would they? They cared so much about the one person your dad killed, so….

Quickly before anyone can react to you, you fist your left hand, and quickly swing your fist up to punch the man’s forearm to make his aim fall from your head.

“Wait!” you hear Kathleen yell as guns point at you now.

You then quickly spin around and ram your fist in his throat to leave him incapacitated while you snatch his gun from him, and then use your foot to swing it under him to sweep him off the floor.

When the guy hits the ground you instantly point his gun at his head, and step on the back of his hand before slowly glaring up at Kathleen.

She looks stunned, so you take this time to look over at Henry, catching his own shocked and awed look.

“Come close and I’ll shoot him,” you threaten all of them. “Your revenge can’t mean more than your man’s life now does it?” You taunt Kathleen with a sly smirk.

Kathleen moves her gun to point at you and parts her lips to say something, but she then cuts herself off as the sound of rubble and creaking metal steals everyone’s attention, including Henry’s and yours.

At first it doesn’t seem like much, just the ground beneath the truck crumbling due to the explosion. But it’s from that same hole that the truck falls into that lets out the sound of distant groaning and growling. Infected….

You remove your foot off the man under you and help up so he can run away. You then snap your head over to Henry, and he meets your gaze to share a knowing look since no one can deny the sounds.

Yet before either of you can run away dozens, no, hundreds of infected climb out from the ground and don’t waste a second to charge at everyone that is formed in front of the hole. They all try to shoot at the runners and the clickers that charge at them, but there’s too many, too many overwhelm them immediately—It’s so many of them climbing out of the ground.

You’ve seen hordes before, you’ve run from dozens of infected before, but never like this, never from one’s running out of a fire pit as if they were spawn out of hell.

The sight freezes you out of fear, leaves you vulnerable, until Henry runs at you now that the men focused their attention away from him and you, and breaks you from your stupor.

“Come on!” He yells, and you both run to the kids still ducked behind the car.

“You have my gun, I have the man’s,” you tell Henry as you duck and hide with the kids. “Take Sam and go, I’ll take Ellie and be right behind you.”

Shooters approach the car you’re hidden behind and begin shooting at infected climbing on the car. More fall at your side as bullets come from the house where your dad is in. And before long, as more infected approach, you all bolt away from behind the car to run to your dad.

However, more infected swarm the area and get in your way, so you lose sight of Henry and Sam quickly as they don’t stop running. You on the other hand use the man’s gun and shoot at the clickers and runners that charge at Ellie and you.

“Go!” You yell at Ellie. “Go, I have you covered!”

Ellie runs on ahead, and you kill any threats that are near her. Once there’s no infected ahead of you, you follow after Ellie as she runs towards a van nearby that has a window slightly opened.

A clicker closeby hears her running footsteps however and tries to charge at her, but you quickly stop in your steps to shoot it and then move the aim to shoot the other infected that can be a possible threat.

“I’ll open the door for you!” Ellie yells back as she approaches the car.

You watch her get inside through the window, and immediately more infected try to reach her through the windows; they pound and claw. You clear as many of them as you can until your bullets run out and you have no choice but to throw the gun out and use your own rifle.

Yet that has few bullets in it too, luckily your dad helps you take out as many as he can around the car and you, while Ellie crawls to the door to try and open it for you from the inside. And when you turn to grab the door handle, suddenly a stalker tackles you down to the ground.

“Oof.” You breathe out as you slam to the ground, and end up losing your gun.

The stalker tries to bite down at you, but you quickly throw your head to the side, and throw your hands up to keep it away. You want to kick it back and use your knife, but then a bullet goes through its head and it falls limb, letting you crawl back away from its corpse. You then look up at the window and give your dad a thankful nod.

He nods back, so after that, before more infected come and swarm you, you get up and find your gun first, before you face the car to get Ellie.

Neverthless, at that moment as you turn you notice a different kind of infected. It’s larger than others, tall, and plump. It has fungus coming out of its head like a clicker, but this one also has fungus growing out of its entire body. It’s…terrifying. It’s fucking horrifying, but you don’t freeze this time, you can’t. You just push its presence to the back of your head and face the car again. That’s when you see a child clicker climb in the same car Ellie is hiding in.

You know your dad has you covered from any infected around you, so you quickly throw the door open and hastily help Ellie out of the car as the clicker flips over the seats to try and reach her.

“Come on!” You urge her after you close the car door. “We’re almost there!” You grab her wrist to run towards your dad together, but she quickly stops you and points out.

“It’s Sam and Henry!”

You follow where she points to, and see the both of them under a car trying to kick away the clickers that are trying to grab them. However, there’s too many infected in your way, too many for you and Ellie to take down without getting swarmed….

Wait! That’s right...

You look up at your dad at the same time Ellie does, and you both speechlessly ask him to cover you with your looks alone.

He’s hesitant at first, but he gives you both an assuring nod, letting you both then run towards Henry and Sam.

“You help Sam, I’ll get the one on Henry!” You tell Ellie as you maneuver past bodies of the infected your dad was killing in your path.

“Okay, yeah!” She replies through pants.

You narrow your eyes on the clicker that has Henry by his feet, ignoring the car that races past behind you and quickening your pace to get closer.

Just as you approach Henry, the clicker drags him out of hiding, it wants to bite him, but you quickly lift your rifle and shoot it right in its head, killing it.

“Come on,” you tell Henry urgently as you help him to his feet. “You’re okay,” you assure him before you turn on your heels, noticing Ellie managed to get the clicker off Sam, but she can’t stab her knife deep enough to kill it. So you lift your gun and help her kill it, letting her then help Sam off the ground.

“Go, go!” You yell at everyone.

Quickly, before more infected can come towards you, you all bolt towards the house your dad is inside of. You climb up the yard hand in hand with Henry, you’re close to getting out, but then Kathleen stops you all.

“Stop!”

Henry pushes you all back behind him to block you all from her gun, but you still raise your rifle to try and use your last bullet on her.

Albeit that’s when you notice the child clicker from before sneaking up from behind her, and lower your gun instead. Kathleen blinks in confusion, and follows everyone’s line of gaze. But, she notices the clicker too late and it tackles her to the ground before she can react.

It hits her repeatedly, and overpowers her, all she can do is scream.

As bad as she was, that fate is still horrible.

“This way now!” You hear your dad yell, breaking everyone from their shock. You then look over at him in shock and watch him pushing Ellie and Sam towards the bridge just behind the houses.

“Move!” He yells and turns you around so you can keep moving behind Henry. He follows last, making sure no one or nothing follows you from the bloodbath that was now the cul-de-sac.

——

*LATER*

“Pew…pew. As the Raven 01 approaches the red planet….”

You put the paper your food was wrapped in down and drag your feet back against your chest to continue listening to Ellie reading with Sam.

Compared to all the terrified screams, all the infected growling and groaning, all the gunshots, and burning flames that had filled your ears on your way to the motel, listening to her read in the silence of night was calming and peaceful.

“You think they’ll be okay?” Henry asks out loud, breaking the silence that was between him, your dad and you.

“Yeah,” your dad nods. “I think.”

You hug your legs and look over at him as he continues.

“It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway….” He pauses and glances at you before looking at Henry. “You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part.”

Being scared isn’t easy, not knowing how to help because you’re young isn't easy, but he’s also right.

“Well,” Henry interjects. “I guess we’re doing a good job then.”

Your dad nods softly in agreement, and you can’t help but smile down at your knees since they seem to be getting along more now.

“What’s that comic book say?” Your dad asks. “Endure and survive?”

You lift your gaze to look at the Savage Starlight comic book Sam and Ellie are reading, and scoff softly before you nod. “Endure and survive,” you repeat.

“That shits redundant,” Henry retorts, making you smile in amusement.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees. “It’s not great.”

You shake your head and laugh softly. “No.”

Savage Starlight was a comic book you often saw lying around, but you never got into them so much. You always enjoyed more of uh…romance, some horror, thrillers, comedy, and fantasy.

“Look, Henry,” you hear your dad continue, making you snap your eyes to him and sit up as you’re filled with curiosity. “I don’t know exactly how I’m gettin’ to Wyoming. I’m probably walkin’. But you know if you want to.”

Your smile grows wider, and your gaze grows softer as you understand your fathers invitation to Henry.

“Yeah,” Henry agrees. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it’d be nice for Sam to have a friend. I’ll tell him in the morning. New day, new start.”

You’re filled with joy now, and that fear of rejection washes away….

At least you hope your dad is also referring to you.

“What about me?” You interject to double check. Even if you might know the answer.

Your dads eyes snap to you and he scoffs before he retorts. “How do you think we’re getting there?”

You smirk and then glance at Henry sitting on a table beside you to share a soft smile with him.

“I don’t why you had to ask,” your dad mumbles.

You then look at the kids, and notice Sam fiddling with the pendant you had given him.

“Just makin’ sure,” you say and drag your legs down. “Maybe y’all wanted to leave me behind….” Wait…you catch that comment the moment it comes out. It’s wrong…it seems like a jab directed to your dad, but you didn’t mean it that way.

You snap your eyes over to him in hopes he didn’t take it that way, but you can’t tell, he’s looking away, his lips are formed in the same serious line. Fuck. Fuck….

Let’s just hope he didn’t take it badly.

You swallow thickly and look ahead, noticing Henry in the room with the kids, and Sam still holding the pendant. So choosing to just brush off your concern so as to not overthink about it, you get up and walk in the room, seeing Sam walk to the other bed now.

“Goodnight,” you sign to him as he notices you walk in.

He offers you a faint smile and redirects your comment. “Goodnight.”

Henry walks back in the room, and before you can follow him you check on Sam since he was holding the pendant. “Are you feeling okay?” You question him.

Sam nods in assurance, but you can notice his frown and a…sad look in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” You press.

Sam nods again. Perhaps it was just the events of tonight then.

“Okay,” you continue to sign to him. “No story tonight?”

Sam shakes his head. “Tomorrow,” he signs back.

You smile and nod in agreement. “Sounds good,” you sign. “Goodnight.”

Sam offers you a faint smile as a response, and before you can leave the room you glance over at Ellie and offer her a very faint smile that’s a bit forced. Maybe she’ll grow on you soon enough. Once your dad explains why they’re traveling together. Hopefully.

Anyway, once you close the room door behind you, rather than sitting back down, and since there was no other room in this curtain room you’re camping in. And since you don’t want your dad hearing your conversation with Henry, you meet your partner's gaze and point to the exit.

Henry doesn’t seem to understand though, so you point to the door again. But nothing.

You roll your eyes and just break the silence. “I’m going to get some fresh air before bed.” You nod slowly, and before anyone can say anything you make sure you have your knife with you before you walk over to the door, and push the table that’s blocking the exit to the side before walking out. Hopefully, Henry understands, and hopefully your dad doesn’t walk out. As funny as that would be, it’s not who you want to talk to.

Regardless, as you wait you lean against the railing and look up at the shining stars painted on the night sky. You smile up at them and watch them twinkle. The door opens, and you quickly peer back, seeing Henry walk out. Thankfully.

“Hey,” you greet him in a whisper.

He closes the door and walks to your side first before returning a greeting. “Hey.”

You look back at the sky and continue to watch the stars. “You know there’s a way to navigate around using the stars.” You share with him.

Henry hums. “I didn’t know,” he says. “Do you know how to?”

You nod and drop your gaze to look at him, noticing he was already looking at you. “Yeah, I do,” you admit.

Henry smiles and scoffs. “Of course you do.”

You laugh softly. “Well it’s kind of convient you know, very helpful..”

“Is that why you like to stare at them all the time?” He asks.

You let out a small breath and shake your head. “No. I just like to watch them, it’s fascinating really; space, all of it.”

Henry hums and averts his gaze, he grabs the rusted railing and brings a short silence.

You notice his smile faltering, so you quickly probe. “What is it?”

Henry gently hits the wood and lifts his gaze to meet yours. “Thank you,” he says. Again. “What you did back there, to that guy…” he swallows thickly and goes shy. “No one has ever done that before. You know usually when things go down like that people scatter to protect themselves…I’m guilty of that, but you…” he pauses and his eyes soften, whilst you now feel caught by surprise. “…you stuck around all three times,” Henry continues. “You shouldn't have, but you did, and you saved me and Sam. Thank you.”

Your smile widens and trembles, and your heart races inside your chest, but you grab his hand and offer him a soft look. “You were worth it,” you redirect sweetly. “All of it. And when it’s worth it there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect the ones I love.”

Henry looks caught off guard for a few seconds, but he quickly manages to shoot you a smile before he cups your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. A sweet and passionate one that makes you wrap your arms around his neck. That lets you move in sync with another, and makes you press yourself against the wall next to the door.

Henry seems to be taken back by your passion, but he just smiles and goes with it, letting himself get swept up by you. The only reason you pull back is to catch your breath.

“You know I think you were right,” he says between pants. “I think your dad—”

“Please,” you cut him off and press your finger against his lips. “Don’t talk about my dad,” you whisper and giggle. “Not right now.”

Henry snorts and nods. “Right,” he mumbles, letting you drop your hand back to your side—“but we should get some sleep, I imagine we have a long day of walking tomorrow.”

You smile sweetly and lean in to whisper against his lips. “Yeah I know, but why not stay out here a while longer, hm? Maybe find a more discreet place to go take this further.”

Henry gapes and blinks rapidly. “I,” he breathes out and shakes his head.

You grin and cup his jaw. “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you assure him. “I’m fine just being with you here.”

Henry shakes his head again and quickly throws out his response, “No I want to, I do. Do you?”

You grin softly and press your hand against his chest, feeling his heart racing.

“Don’t worry,” you assure him as you hold his gaze. “You’ll be okay. You’re with me.” You pull back, and drop your hand to your side to grab his, and pull him down the stairs with you. “Come on!” You grin happily.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“Sarah,” you whisper and slowly walk further inside her dark room.

She hums and shifts on her bed. “Hm?”

“I'm scared,” you whisper. “There’s something in my room.”

Her bed creaks and thanks to the moonlight reflecting inside through her window by her bed, you see her sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Okay,” she mumbles and slides over to the other side of her bed. “Come on.”

You smile with relief and run over to the bed to climb on and lay beside her.

“What was in your room?” She asks as she lays her head back down on the pillow.

You pull the blankets over you and flip to your side to face her. “A…monster, I think.”

She smiles weakly and wraps her arm around you. “Maybe you just heard dad snoring.” She mumbles.

You sigh unsurely and watch her close her eyes to try and drift back to sleep.

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” She asks quietly.

You perk up and grin softly. “Just one,” you agree.

“Okay, well—”

“Ahh! Ahhh!”

Suddenly the dream you were having is interrupted coldly by the sound of distressed yelling that makes you gasp, and sit right up out of instinct.

However, it’s as you sit up that the door is slammed open and Ellie is thrown to the floor by….by Sam growling, groaning, and snapping his teeth as he tries to claw at her. She tries to push him off, but she can’t fight him. Or she really doesn’t want to…

But why?

Why?

Why is he acting so violent, why is he trying to bite her? Why is making those noises?

You sit there wide eyed, frozen by horrifying fear that inside, deep inside your heart you understand why it grows so furiously. You can identify what those sounds coming out of Sam mean, you’ve heard them what feels like all your life. You know…But you don’t want to accept it. You don’t want to accept his sudden fate.

He’s so young, so innocent, so sweet and kind. It can’t…it can’t be true. It can’t be happening again…

He can’t…

“Nope, nope, nope,” you hear Henry repeat, and when you look up you see him on his feet, pointing your dads own gun at him as he slowly stands up.

“Joel!” Ellie cries out.

Sam is going to bite her…he’s going to bite her…

You try to reach for your own knife since you know you’re out of bullets. You want to help her before it takes her too…you want to help your dad and Henry, but you can’t move a muscle, your fear paralyzes you as well as your denial.

You can only keep watching…just like when…Sarah died. You can only watch.

Henry shoots at your dad, you can hear the bullet, and his yell even after you cover your ears. You can feel it carve the ground, but that still doesn’t make you move.

“Joel!” Ellie cries again as Sam doesn’t stop.

He’s going to bite her. Sam he’s…

And suddenly there’s another gunshot, but this time rather than feeling it hit the ground, you hear a thump, and then silence. Deafening silence.

Finally as Sam stays still on the floor, you slowly get up and take a step towards him. You notice the dark blood spilling out and staining the ground, you still wait…You wait for him to get up. He has to. It can’t be happening again…he couldn’t have turned. He has to wake up.

You slowly put your hands down. “Sam?” You call out quietly even though you know he wouldn't have heard you either way, it’s just a desperate attempt.

“Ellie,” you hear your dad call as the girl sits there in disbelief at what just happened. “Are you okay?” You hear him ask her.

You worry if she’s bit, you want to ask if she’s okay too, but all you can focus on is Sam, you wait if he’ll move at least his chest to show he’s breathing.

Your dad tries to move toward Ellie, but he comes to a quick stop as Henry points his gun at him. He’s just shocked, that’s it.

Thinking he won’t do anything to you, you take another step towards Sam.

However, that's when you hear an abrupt stop. “No…don’t.”

You snap your gleaming eyes towards Henry, and see him pointing his gun at you now. Your dad quickly notices his new aim, and slowly puts his arm across you to try and shield you.

Henry’s just shocked. He’s just…shocked.

“Easy, easy, easy,” your dad tries to calm Henry down whilst he puts his hands out to try and grab the gun in Henry’s hand.

“Henry,” you call out quietly.

Said man's eyes drift to you, and tears immediately fill his eyes at the sight of you. “What did I do?” He asks you.

You try to tell him that he helped Ellie, that his brother was going to hurt her, but you can’t…you can’t muster a single word since you’re still in denial yourself.

“What did I do?” Henry asks again and keeps his gun pointed at you. “What-what-what did I do?” His eyes drift to his brother still on the floor, and you follow his line of gaze, realizing now—no, accepting at that moment as he lay still, as more blood spilled out of him, that Sam was gone.

It hits you like a bullet to the flesh, so suddenly. The realization shakes your entire core, making that painful anguish that you had pushed back bust through that shield of denial.

He’s gone. Sam’s gone. He was infected and now he’s gone.

“Sam?” The sound of Henry’s broken voice snaps your watery gaze back to him.

“Henry, gimme the gun?” Your dad pleads softly.

“Henry,” you call out quietly through tears. “Henry, please.”

Said man’s eyes drift to you and your dad, but he then focuses solely on you.

“Gimme the gun,” your dad continues to say. “Gimme the gun.”

“Henry,” you interject in a brittle voice, and take a step towards him to try and take the gun. “Just give me the gun, okay? Let’s talk.”

Henry holds your gaze for a moment and blinks before looking at Sam again. And finally he begins to lower his hand.

You try to encourage him, “yeah just—” but you cut yourself off immedietly as you see him move his hand to now point the gun at himself instead. You know what he intends to do, you yell at him to stop, but a gunshot goes off, causing you to quickly cover your ears. Yet you still hear a loud thump hit the floor.

Now…you just stand there, looking at the now empty space where Henry had one stood. You stand there frozen and quiet. You stand there panting, and with dry eyes.

Your dad stands before you, he talks to you, you see his mouth moving, but you don’t register his muffles that go through your covered ears because you can’t accept this now. If you keep looking at the wall, it’s like nothing ever happened. If you keep your eyes on the wall you won’t have to accept it, if you stand here time will stop….

You hoped anyway. You wished.

“Y/N! Look at me, baby,” you hear your dad yell at you, making you snap your eyes to him before you slowly drift your eyes down to see….

Oh god.

Oh god….

You drop your hands from your ears, and gasp as it feels like the air in your lungs is knocked out of you at the sight of his lifeless body, at the feeling of realization slamming into you, piercing your very heart now and shattering it and your entire being.

Henry’s gone. He’s gone just like Sam. They’re both gone….Henry’s gone….

But maybe…

“Henry?” You call out desperately as you watch him, hoping he’ll wake up. “Henry?” You call out again and step away from your dad to walk to Henry. “Henry, please,” your voice quivers as he remains unresponsive.

“Henry,” you mewl and fall on your knees beside him, on the pool of blood that now surrounds his upper body. “Henry.” You whisper and slowly reach for him to turn him face up. That’s when you see his lifeless eyes, the blood that now stains his face, and the tear stains on his cheeks. And it hits you again, but now it’s more powerful, more painful.

“No,” you cry and shake your head. “No, please Henry,” you sob and cradle his face for a moment before you cradle his body. “No, no….” You drop your forehead on his and shakily gasp for air as you can’t stop crying. “Please…please…someone help me….Henry…don’t do this to me, please.”

A hand falls on your shoulders, making you gasp and look back.

“Y/N,” your dad whispers.

“Daddy,” you mutter, “you have to help me. Please. Please.”

“Oh baby…”

You shake your head as he cradles your face in his hands.

“Dad,” you cry out desperately. “Please!”

He shakes his head, and tears fill his eyes only because he sees the heartbreak in your eyes as you hold your partner's dead body in your arms.

“He’s gone,” your dad says.

No.

No.

No…

You pull your face away from your dads hold to look back at Henry, and lay your head on his chest.

He’s gone and there’s nothing you can do about it. Again. Someone else is gone and you can’t do anything about it. So you close your eyes and cry against him out of defeat, heartbreak, and agony.

“We can bury them,” your dad says softly. “Come on.”

Slowly he takes his body from you, and you let him, and just sit there. He takes Sam’s body soon thereafter, you can’t tell when, time just loses meaning, it all blends together.

Eventually you make it outside to where your dad and Ellie had buried Henry and Sam. You don’t know how, or when exactly you walked out, but feel the chilly breeze of the morning hit you, you feel the brightness burn your retinas for a moment until you grow accustomed to the brightness.

You see them no longer, only dirt over two unmarked graves. You feel only tears roll down your cheeks, and that agony in your heart as you realize you’ll never see them again, you won’t go to Jackson together.

You sit between their graves and just lose your gaze on the grass brushing against the wind. You sit there cold and hopeless. You sit there even as Ellie puts Sam’s board down on his grave, as you hear her speak to your dad once she’s up and behind you.

“Which ways west?” She asks.

There’s silence before there’s retreating footsteps. You were moving on, you had to, there was no one else to wait for now, there was no one else to go with now.

“Y/N,” your dad breaks the silence. “I have to tell you something…”

You keep your eyes lost on the grass, and wait for him to continue.

“Ellie…she’s immune…”

Is this some joke? Some sick fucking joke?

You gasp and peer at him over your shoulder to shoot him a disgusted glare.

“Dont,” you croak because of all of your crying. “Don’t fucking joke.”

He stands there with a serious, deadpanned look on his face. “I’m not,” he assures you. “It’s true, I saw her get bit and she didn’t turn. Do you really think I would joke about that?”

You blink in disbelief and look back at the grass ahead of you.

Joining the fireflies built a hope in you that maybe there was a chance for the world to get better. It was hard not to believe what they believed in, for a hope for humanity. A hope that could’ve saved so many lost friends…that could’ve saved Sam. So hearing this now coming out of your dads lips isn’t completely unbelievable, not to you.

“That’s why I need to take her to your uncle Tommy,” he continues. “So he can take her to the Fireflies.”

So he? He?

As if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped on you, now you’re hit with a cold reminder, your anger towards your father. Those words he just spoke trigger it, the heartbreak you bear now only fuels it, blinding you with rage.

“So what?” You scoff, and stand up to spin around and face him with that burning anger in your watery eyes. “You’re going to dump another one of your burdens on uncle Tommy? Just like you did me?”

Your dad shakes his head and mutters out, “you’re just upset. Let’s go, we can talk about it later.”

You shake your head and step towards him to continue. “I have every right to be upset! I have every right to be mad at you, you left me,” you whisper and feel angry tears now roll down your cheeks. “You…you!” You cry out and hit his chest.

“Y/N,” he mutters and averts his gaze.

You swallow back the thick lump that grows in your throat and spat back. “Why? Hm? All I ever did was love you, even if you were mean—”

“I kept you alive,” he cuts you off bluntly with his eyes barely on you.

“Yes,” you scoff. “But I still needed my dad….” Your voice quivers. “And…you still left…Why? W-was it because I…was never good enough for you? I’m sorry….I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect daughter, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough then. I’m sorry I wasn’t worthy enough for you to stay with me, for you to take me with you.” You sniffle and wipe away your tears. “I'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to call me throughout all those years. I waited,“ you mumble. “I did. But no.” You shake your head and wipe your tears away.

“I just hope you don’t hurt that girl the same you did me,” you continue. “I hope she’s the daughter I never was for you.” You scoff and hit your hands against your thighs.

“No, don’t say that,” he interjects. “And don’t pit your anger against her.”

You let out a shaky sigh and tilt your head down slightly as you keep your eyes on him. “I’ll take you to uncle Tommy,” you add bluntly. “But that’s it. I’m done with you after that.” You shove past him and pick up your backpack and rifle off the floor. You make it to the street but stop to add one more thing as you see Ellie a few feet away waiting for you and your dad to catch up.

“I won’t pit my anger against her. I just hope you do better.”

——

*A MONTH LATER*

It was quiet. Not outside; you can hear the birds chirping their morning song as the sun slowly rises, you can hear Ellie shuffling on the ground restlessly. It’s quiet inside your mind.

At first, those first few days after, your mind raced with different possibilities, denial, different outcomes…hopes. It was loud with anger, but now it’s quiet. Now as you hold the cold gold sun pin in your fingers your mind is just absolutely quiet, all there is is a picture of him, Henry, in your head.

There’s a coldness in your heart. Another gap missing that he and Sam left. It makes those nights you had to sleep, sleepless, restless. Like now. Your dad let you sleep, but you couldn’t keep your eyes closed, you couldn’t get that….that scene of a month ago out of your head. Everytime you close your eyes you see Henry and Sam, see them lying on the ground with blood around them. Their deaths replay in your head over and over again until you open your eyes. So it’s easier just to stay awake and study the sun pin in the silence….

Then again it’s not so quiet outside….Ellie keeps moving. You flip to your other side and the first thing that you notice is your dad passed out…

What a damn good watchman. Old man.

Pft.

You drift your eyes across from you and see Ellie has her back turned to you. She’s still for like a minute before she moves again.

Maybe she’s thinking about them too? Because she can’t be asleep with all that moving.

You haven’t talked to her since it happened—no, lies you did but it was just like a few words, “do you want some of my food?” “Do you want to help me keep watch?”. She was always eager for both, but beside that nothing else was said. And you do know what grief is, you know how it feels, she may not have known them long, but Sam and her still bonded, their deaths were still…impactful…

It’s not like your dad has talked about it anyway. It’s not like he would.

“Hey,” you whisper and stretch your foot out to tap her. “Are you awake?”

There’s a second of silence before Ellie slowly looks back and looks a bit disbelieved. “Yes,” she mutters.

You spare one glance at your dad to make sure he’s still sleeping before you continue. “Do you want to go for a walk? He passed out.”

Ellie pulls down her sweater and looks down to see for herself before she meets your gaze and answers hesitantly. “Sure.”

You smile softly and tuck the pin in your pocket before you get up, and very carefully grab your backpack and gun off the ground. Ellie grabs her gun and leaves her backpack where it is. As you head out she just does one more double take to make sure your dad is still sleeping, before she runs over to catch up to you heading to the windmill that’s across the small abandoned farmhouse you were camping at for the night.

“So,” Ellie rolls out with a slow head nod. “Can I hold your gun?”

You hold onto your backpack strap and look over at her with slight curiosity. “Do you know how to use it?” You ask her.

Ellie shakes her head. “I can be taught though.”

You hum and look back at the windmill you're walking to and give her a proposition. “How about you can keep watch through the scope. Feel the weight first.”

“It’s better than nothing,” she groans.

You scoff softly in amusement and open the wooden door to let her walk in first, before you close the door and follow her up the creaky wooden stairs against the wall, until you reach a platform that’s put against the window that overlooks what was once a secluded farm.

“Here,” you interject, and put your gun down to sit on your knees so you can take off your poncho and lay it on the dirty ground. “You can sit there.” You then proceed to take off your jacket and lay it over your spot. “And I’ll sit here.” You mumble and sit back down.

Ellie looks down and hesitates. “We’re already dirty anyway.”

You shrug. “But now you won’t be cold, and you’ll be comfy.” You click your tongue.

Ellie spares you a quick glance before she sits, she wants to reach for your gun, but she suddenly stops and goes wide eyed.

“Oh my god,” she gasps and crawls closer to you. “You have tattoos! No way!” She grins and studies the tattoos on your arm. “That’s so cool.”

You smile softly, and turn your body so she can see the crescent moon tattoo shaped from curved lines; it almost looks like it was a smoke moon. She then hovers her fingers over the small stars that are scattered around the area, and then looks down at the falling angel woman. But lastly she takes her time on one in particular, a small one on your forearm.

“What’s this?” She asks and points to it.

You look down and giggle. “What did you think it is?”

Ellie scoffs and smirks. “A dick?”

You smirk. “It’s supposed to be a middle finger. My uncle Tommy and I got drunk for my 21st birthday. He wanted to give me a tattoo so he drew a hand giving the middle finger, but he, uh,” you snort. “Failed, so now I will always have a little dick tattoo.”

Ellie snickers and sits back down with your rifle in hand.

You move your arm and twist your body to show her the back tattoo. “I also have this one.” You point out.

Ellie shifts back around, and you give her a few seconds before you turn to sit back.

“That’s so cool!” She says with a smile. “I want one.”

You glance over the golden grass and smile softly. “My friend, she does tattoos. Perhaps when you’re older she can do something on you. Just don’t get it while drunk.”

“Why stars and a moon?” Ellie probes.

You shrug softly. “I liked it, and I like the Galaxy, the moon, everything.”

Ellie turns her head, and you see a wider smile. “Really? That's nice, I do too. Or more the aspect of going to space.”

You grin and look at her. “Really? That’d be cool. Like, uh,” you snap your fingers until you remember the name. “Like Sally Ride.”

Ellie's eyes go wider. “Yes!” She exclaims. “Exactly like her! Like if I could choose a way to die, I would die up there in space, after I flew up there of course.”

“Of course,” you mumble and stare up at the sweet colored sky as the sun slowly overtakes the night sky. “I mean it would be a very cool way to die. No oxygen, but a view of earth and the vacuum of space.”

Ellie follows your line of gaze and smiles softly as she nods slowly. “Yeah,” she whispers.

Silence follows after that. Deafening, but peaceful silence.

Yet that peace soon begins to turn to gloom the more the sun rises and you remember why you’re here.

“Do you,” you interject, but pause to look down at your fingers not covered by your gloves. “Do you want to talk about what happened last month?” You can’t even mention their names. Not yet. Not without it aching.

Ellie drops her gaze to focus on the fields of grass, and lets out a deep exhale before she shakes her head. “No…not really. Not yet.”

You hum softly. “That’s alright,” you assure her. “Well I’m here, you know, 24/7. If you want to talk.”

It may not be a lot to offer, but it’s those very words that meant a lot to you when you were told them by your uncle, Maria, or your friends. Yes, you haven’t been the most welcoming, or the nicest person with her, but at first you were slightly jealous, then you were too sad, but after that argument with your dad that jealousy had faded. Call it pettiness or what not, but you’re here now, and hope that at least she knows she can talk about her feelings with you and not have to hide them or brush them off.

He’d do that.

Nevertheless, there’s a brief moment of quiet before Ellie mutters in a serious tone. “Here in this windmill? Because that’s sort of inconvenient.”

You snort and break into a chuckle for the first time in a month. “You know what I meant fucker,” you mutter between laughs.

Ellie smiles proudly and nods.

Silence comes back as you keep watch, your smiles fade, but she soon interrupts. “You know I did have this problem last night actually.”

Your brows slowly furrow and you look at her with concern.

“I just stayed up all night wondering where the sun went…then it dawned on me.”

Your face slowly falls, and she looks over at you with a very proud smile. You let a second pass before you burst out laughing at her joke. She soon joins in and you’re both too lost laughing until your stomachs hurt.

When you’ve somewhat calmed down you add one you remember. “Okay, okay.” You clear your throat. “I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra…it was a booby trap.” You smirk.

Ellie shakes her head and laughs harder. “That was stupid.”

You nod and once again begin to laugh along with her, not realizing in that moment as you were both distracted that your dad was now inside the windmill lost listening in to the both of you.

When your laughs die down you take advantage of this moment and pull your backpack to your lap to unzip it, and pull out an additional Walkman. “I feel like you’ll enjoy this,” you tell her and then search your backpack for a specific cassette.

Ellie slowly puts down the rifle and watches you pull out a small plastic box.

“The Smiths,” you mention and open the box to insert the cassette. “Very good band.” You smile and hand her the Walkman. “Listen to it when you can, or when you can’t sleep. Just don’t lose the cassette ‘kay? It’s my friends.”

Ellie hesitantly takes the Walkman and headphones. “Are you sure?” She asks quietly.

You nod. “I have my own. I had that as a spare, but you can keep it. When you’re done with that album, let me know, I can give you more music to listen to while we find more.”

Ellie slowly smiles softly, and meets your gaze. “Thanks.” She whispers.

You offer her a smile, and don’t realize that for that moment sharing your music as Sarah once did with you, laughing with Ellie felt the best you’ve felt in a long time; you didn’t feel sad, or angry. You felt good, at peace, and a sense of familiarity you haven’t felt in years.

——

*2 MONTHS LATER*

Winter has fully embraced the earth, providing some sense of what month it can be. Between Kansas City and here you’ve lost track of the days. You know with every feeling in you that Jackson is only a couple days out.

Seeing Maria, your uncle Tommy, your friends, and your house is only a couple days out. Finally!

“You don’t seriously believe them,” Ellie remarks as she stomps out of the cabin of this old couple living a quiet life in the middle of nowhere.

Which honestly isn’t half bad. You only wish to grow old like them and live with….with someone…

“They’ve lived here a long time,” your dad rebuttals as he leads the way off the property. He then stops and looks back as he hears only one pair of footsteps following him.

You then proceed to stop too and glance back, catching Ellie robbing one of the rabbits that the man that had found you killed.

“Put that back,” he tells her and then continues to lead the way.

“What about you, y/n, I mean you’ve lived around here,” Ellie pulls you into the conversation.

You scoff softly and wait for her to catch up. “Well all I’ll say is that it’s a bunch of superstition, okay?” You tell her without giving away too much of what awaits beyond the River. “There’s no River of death, nothin’.”

“So they don’t know anything?” She points out and falls beside you, letting you finally continue to follow your dad. “Because they’ve also never heard of the Fireflies.”

“It’s hard to hear much living so secluded,” you explain and look ahead, catching in that moment your dad stops and leans against a wooden pole.

Is he really that scared of some fear the old couple have? Because it’s only to scare people away, it isn’t true.

Is he still tired? He’s panting.

“Joel? Joel?” Ellie calls out, and shares a slightly concerned and confused look with you before she walks over to him, while you watch him with higher concern that freezes you a bit.

“Joel, are you okay?” She asks and gets closer to him as he stays leaning against the pole. “Joel?”

“Shut up,” he quips at her.

You blink and snap out of your stupor to make your way to him too. “Dad,” you call out.

“Holy shit, are you dying?” Ellie remarks, making that fear you didn’t feel before spark now at the sound of her words, even if he shakes his head.

Is it his heart? He is old now.

What if it is his heart?

“Dad?” You call out and walk past Ellie to look at his face, noticing his eyes are closed and his hand is in a tight fist. It’s like he’s in pain…

“I’m okay,” he mutters breathlessly.

You know you haven’t talked much in the past three months, your anger is still pretty alive and heightened to the point you can’t hold his gaze sometimes for more than a few seconds. But he still is your dad, and you still do very much love him…more than anything. It’s just hard being with him right now. It’s hard.

“Okay, okay,” he keeps repeating, and you grow more concerned.

“Okay, are you okay? It doesn’t sound like you are,” Ellie keeps panicking.

“I’m fine.”

“But are you because just a reminder that if you’re dead, I’m fucked—”

“Ellie,” you warn, and step closer to him. You feel like freezing, like covering your ears at the sight of his trouble, but you muster the strength to carefully grab his arm, and call to him again. “Daddy.”

As if snapped back to reality by your touch, and your voice so close, he snaps his eyes to you and calms his breathing immediately.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

He swallows thickly and holds your gaze for a moment before he snaps back. “I said I’m fine.”

Huh. You pull your hand away and nod. “Okay.”

“It’s just the cold air all of a sudden,” he explains what can be true, but what sounds like bullshit.

“All right,” Ellie says and continues to walk ahead. “Uh, so let’s go and find Tommy and the Fireflies.”

You linger your gaze on your dad for a few more seconds as you try to find some sort of symptom. But he did brush Ellie and you off harshly so, instead you leave him be and follow after Ellie.

“It’s gonna be easy,” Ellie adds and almost trips going up the snowy hill. “All we have to do is cross the River of Death.”

You roll your eyes at the fact that she’s believing it so easily, but still don’t try to correct anyone. Instead you comment on something to lighten the mood.

“We might have to wait to find the Fireflies.”

Ellie looks back with slight concern and presses. “Why?”

You look down at the snow you’re walking over and smirk. “Well it’s not summer yet.” You look up at her and shoot her a smile.

Ellie rolls her eyes and looks back. “That was stupid,” she remarks as she hides her amused smile.

“You liked it,” you mutter and pull on your backpack straps to tighten them. “You know it.”

“Maybe I can laugh at all your jokes if you teach me what you did back there, to that guy in Kansas City a few months ago,” she says.

She saw that?

You let out a soft sigh, and brush away what threatens to resurface about Sam and Henry to solely focus on what she wants. “Well, one, you don’t gotta pretend to like my jokes to get something out of me. You could've just asked.”

Ellie shrugs. “I ask Joel to teach me stuff and he says no,” she argues. “I thought you’d be the same.”

You scoff. “Well no, I ain't. And two, always read the room, Kathleen prided herself on loyalty, she wasn’t going to risk letting me kill the guy. I knew that so I acted,” you share your technique.

“Uh, huh,” Ellie notes everything down mentally.

“Two, body stance, look at how they’re standing, how tight their finger is on the trigger, if it’s too tight you’ll get shot at that moment,” you continue. “Three, act fast, hit the weak points to paralyze them. Men, the groin is a good one, for both men and women, throat, eyes, knees, temple, nose, jaw and shins. And then get them to the ground, or your stance of choice to threaten them. But always make sure they can’t and aren’t reaching for any weapons, okay? You’ll lose the higher ground if they do.”

Ellie looks over her shoulder, showing off her little smirk. “Okay, got that, but now what about a physical demonstration?” She asks.

You nod. “Sure, once we find somewhere to camp.”

Ellie shoots you a partial grin and nods in comprehension. “Cool.” She looks back ahead. “Your joke was stupid by the way.”

You snicker and run up to catch up to her. “Yeah. How about yours, Will Livingston, huh?”

She snickers and shrugs, bringing silence that follows the three of you for a while. You just walk, walk and walk for miles, down hills, up them, past dryer terrain and even snowier ground. Past a horizon of the setting sun, and under clear skies. All up until you reach a valley that overlooks the river the couple had mentioned on the map your dad insists on carrying even if they have you guiding the way

“The River of Death,” Ellie comments. “Scary.”

“Don’t start,“ your dad warns her bluntly.

You on the other hand watch the distant running river and sigh with relief. You’re almost home.

“It’s too close to dark,” your dad mentions. “There’s some caves along the river. We’ll set up camp there, cross in the mornin’.”

“Good,” Ellie says. “I'm starving. Should’ve stolen two rabbits.”

“We can get our own rabbits,” your dad counters.

You scoff at his comment, and see him give you a side eye.

“You gonna teach me how?” Ellie asks with hope.

Only to be shot down by your dad. “Just keep movin’.”

“Y/N?” Ellie now drifts her question to you.

You look over at her and think for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure let's just get more bullets first, or maybe a bow and arrow.”

Ellie snaps her eyes to your dad and shoots him a smirk. “See,” she quips. “Someone’s nice.” And then she proceeds to continue walking.

You scoff and roll your eyes before you also proceed to continue walking even more. Luckily this time you don’t end up walking far, your dad finds a cave somewhat deep in the woods to set up your last camp.

As always you’re all quick to eat as that’s what you’re looking forward to the most throughout the long days of walking, and avoiding danger. As always it’s quiet between you and him. He doesn’t attempt to talk to you, nor do you attempt to talk to him. Something stands in the way now, a tension…a fear that runs in the both of you.

The one thing that fills the awkward and tension filled silence is Ellie.

“Oh my god!” She exclaims and jumps off her seat to run off towards the giant rock in front of the cave.

“Ellie,” your dad mutters.

You look up from your food and see the sky beginning to glow as it fills with beautiful dancing colors of bright green, and hints of purple light. Northern lights.

You smile softly and shove the last bit of food in your mouth before you follow Ellie towards the rock to get a better view of them from the top.

“Beautiful huh? You know why they happen?” You ask Ellie as you sit beside her on the rock.

Ellie keeps her head up to continue admiring the dancing hues, and shakes her head. “Do you?” She redirects.

You hum and nod. “I read it in a book once, it happens when charged particles collide with gasses in Earth's upper atmosphere. Those collisions then produce tiny flashes that fill the sky with colorful light.”

Ellie looks down and meets your gaze. “Hm, interesting.” She says sincerely with a soft smile as she looks up again.

“There’s a lot of lore behind them, different beliefs,” you add quietly. “Some people think of them as bad omen, others as positive….what really stuck with me is this one belief I got told once by an old lady in Jackson…” you pause and slowly look down at your hands as that sadness, that grief, that agony, presents itself in you again after having pushed it away all day.

“She said that the lights are the souls of the departed…ancestors, those….” You swallow thickly and feel your eyes and throat begin to sting. “You lost.” You reach in your pocket and pull out the sun pin you kept inside, you fiddle with it and watch it reflect the lights that dance above.

“I like that one,” Ellie whispers.

You nod as your eyes fill with tears. “Me too.” You let out a deep sigh and flicker your eyes up to watch the sky again, to admire its beauty.

Ellie and you stay up there, basking in the lights and the silence until your dad whistles and cuts in. “Come down from there. Y’all gonna break your necks.”

Impossible….maybe a sore neck…

Regardless you both climb down and huddle back near the fire.

“Ah,” Ellie interjects. “Can I have some?”

You put the pin away and glance over at your dad, noticing the flask of alcohol in his hand.

“No.” He shakes his head.

“What?” Ellie argues. “Just to warm up. C’mon.”

Your dad rolls his eyes slightly but gives in, making you pass the flask to Ellie.

“Thanks,” she mutters, and looks at the metal flask for a second before raising it up as a speechless cheers.

You think she’d hesitate to take a sip, but she takes the drink without a fight.

Honestly, it’s very funny. Especially when she pulls it down and scrunches her face in disgust.

“Yep,” she groans. “Still gross.” She nudges it to you now. “Sip?”

You look at it and shake your head. “I’m fine. Thanks.” You grab the flask and hand it back to your dad.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Ellie continues to fill the silence.

“Hm?” You probe curiously, and press your hands down on the cold ground to lean back.

“Let’s say we find the Fireflies,” she says, “it all works, they draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines and make a cure.”

“Okay?” You hear your dad say.

“Then what? Like, what do we do?”

“Oh, it’s we?” Your dad retorts, kind of rudely may you add.

“Okay,” Ellie corrects herself. “Fine. Whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?”

That’s an interesting question.

You glance over at your dad and wait.

“It’s never been an option,” he answers and looks up to the sky as he clears his throat. “Maybe,” he sighs. “An old farmhouse, some land, a ranch.”

He’s said that once, when you were young, he said he was working to get one, that you could all have all the free space you wanted, you could have horses, sheep, dogs, cats and goats. He’d said that once he’s old Sarah and you could live with him to take care of him and the animals. He always liked to talk about it.

Of course that was pre outbreak. You never heard that dream after. It’s nice that it hasn’t changed.

“Cool,” Ellie comments, but you can’t tell if she’s teasing him or actually interested. “What kind?”

“Sheep. I would raise sheep.”

You glance down at the fire and smile softly.

“Sheep,” Ellie whispers.

“They’re quiet,” your dad adds, making you snort softly. “Do what they’re told.”

You stifle your laugh and glance over at Ellie since you know it’s a jab at her.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ellie gets it. “Okay. So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic.”

You smile and spare your dad one teasing glance. He feels your gaze, he sees your smile finally directed at him after three months, and sighs softly.

“What about you, y/n?” Ellie asks.

You glance at her and then watch the dancing lights in the sky. “Well when I was young I wanted to be a performer like Britney Spears.” You grin proudly.

“Who?” Ellie queries, but you don’t have time to answer since you continue.

“But now I want to become a movie star,” you smirk and look down at her. “An actress who stars in big movies. Like Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Kristen Dunst, Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, and my favorite, and my idol, Audrey Hepburn.” You beam at her and nod slowly.

Ellie squints and shakes her head. “I’ve heard of none of them.”

“You will soon enough, and you’ll know my name as well. Y/N Miller,” you throw your hands up in the air and glance at your dad with that grin, noticing him listening with intent and the corner of his lips slightly raised. “Famous movie star. Survivalist. And the most talented and prettiest.”

Ellie snorts and nods along again. “I actually think that’s pretty cool. I mean you’ll probably be the only one, but it’s nice.”

“Thank you,” you beam at her and put your hands down. “I won’t forget to mention you in my speech when I win my Oscar.” You wink and then press her now. “What about you? Where are you gonna go?”

Ellie gently punches her legs and looks up. “It’s probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there’s ocean, and ahead of you, there’s a wall.” She looks down between you and your dad. “Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?”

Yes.

“Sally Ride,” your dad guesses correctly.

“Sally fuckin’ Ride!” She whispers excitedly. “Best astronaut name ever.”

You smile softly and in admiration. Silence follows, and her own smile fades, her gaze gets lost ahead of her, and you sense sorrow.

“It’ll work, right?” She then asks, making your smile fall. “The vaccine?”

You sigh and sit up to drag your legs against your chest, and hug them tightly.

“It’s a little late to start wonderin’” your dad retorts.

“I tried,” she says. “With Sam.”

Your frown immediately deepens, and your heart begins to sink.

“Tried what?” Your dad probes.

“I knew he was infected,” Ellie answers, and you see her glance at you. “I rubbed some of my blood into his bite. I know. I know it was stupid. But I…I wanted to save him.”

Your eyes water again, that anguish crawls back up, and memories haunt you.

“Well, I reckon it’s a lot more complicated than that,” your dad tells her. “Marlene, she’s a lotta things, but she’s no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.”

They hope….you hope too.

For him. For Sam.

After that silence returns, which is abruptly interrupted. “Who wants to take first watch and second watch?” Ellie asks to change the subject.

You part your lips to volunteer, but your dad quickly interrupts before you can.

“I’ll do both. you girls should get some sleep.”

You snap your eyes to him and get ready to argue, but once again he beats you to it.

“Y/N, it’s okay, I can do it. Tomorrow we’ll be with Tommy, and I can sleep then.”

You hesitate for a moment but you know you’ll get nowhere, so you give in.

“Dream of sheep ranches on the moon,” he adds as you and Ellie grab your sleeping bags.

“I will,” Ellie agrees. And you just scoff softly and leave it at that.

——

Sleep comes, but you don’t last long, eventually the nightmares take over; the same ones from the past three months, and all you can do is stay up to avoid seeing all of it. It would make a boring and long night, but you find yourself entertained by watching your dad.

He sits against the cave wall, he watches the sky, he watches the dark shadows in the forest, and occasionally he glances over to watch you and Ellie sleep. He seems to be looking for something, a sign of life. Once he finds it he’d look away and go back to keeping watch. That’s when your head spins and you begin to wonder why he left you?

What was his reason? Grief?

Because you feel it, you understand it. Perhaps not before, not the moment you lost Sarah, but after losing Henry?

That need to just go away, to cave into yourself, to hide and never come out? To…not keep going, to just end it as it seems like life has little meaning? You understand that. You want to do it everyday. Is that why?

Or was it fear? Just cause?

Did you do something wrong?

Or were you not enough? Were you not…her?

If you could, you'd bring her back to him. If somehow there was a chance, you would. You’d bring back Sam and Henry. Even if it meant you’d be gone forever, you’d do it.

If seeing Sarah again would make him happy you’d do it. Anger and resentment aside, you’d do it….

Nevertheless…as you’re caught up in your own thoughts, he ends up passing out.

What an old man.

To keep him that way so he can get the rest he needs you get up and keep watch for him. Ellie soon joins you and you let sleep as you both keep watch while the sun rises again, and the day turns bright.

During your watch you taught Ellie the move she wanted to learn; which she learns fast and gets very happy about. You talked about stupid stuff, and then watched some more until he woke up abruptly.

“Still mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie comments as he looks up panicked. “We woke up early. You were passed out, so we took second watch.”

“Y/N,” your dad scolds you.

You just shrug and brush him off.

“You gotta wake me up if that happens,” he rebuttals and gets up. “You can’t do things like this, Ellie.”

“But I can,” she counters sassily. “‘Cause I just did. Besides, y/n was with me the entire time.”

��She’s older, she knows stuff,” he quickly snaps back. “She’s not responsible for you, I am, okay?”

“Then don’t fall asleep,” she sasses him. “We were quiet, We checked our six, we looked for tracks, we found the high ground, and we kept watch,” she assures him as he gets near. “like you and she taught me too. And y/n let me hold the gun the entire time.” She quips and shares a proud glance with you. “What can I say, man? I'm a natural.”

“Uh-huh,” he nods. “Give her the gun.”

Ellie sighs and turns to hand you back your gun. You then proceed to hang it around your shoulder, and listen to him direct her a comment.

“You wake me up next time.”

“Yes, sir,” Ellie agrees. “But only if y/n is not here.” She shoots him a smile.

Your dad rolls his eyes and groans. “Fine,” he says in defeat. “C’mon pack up, let’s get goin’.”

As usual the day consists of endless fucking walking which was getting more annoying the closer you were to home. It’s like a fucking dread. And today it seemed colder out—but that’s probably due to the falling snow and the winder winds.

Once you assure Ellie and your dad that River is safe to cross, you make it to the other side and put your mask up over half of your face, you put your hood over your head to block out the cold and keep as warm as you can.

The closer you got home, the more the grounds seemed familiar, the more your excitement rose. That becomes especially so as you get close to the dam.

“We’re almost there,” you squeal. “We’re almost home.” You quicken your pace, but look back as you the sound of Ellie blowing out air catches your attention. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m learning how to whistle,” she explains as she catches both you and your dad looking back at her now.

“You don’t know how to whistle?” Your dad queries.

Ellie pulls her hand out of her mouth to rebuttal. “Does it sound like I know how to whistle?”

“No,” you retort and look back ahead. “Just put your lips together and blow.

“I’ve tried that! It doesn’t work!”

You smirk and do it yourself before you look back at her to do it again.

Ellie shoots you a pointed glare and drops her hand to her side. “Well now you're just showing off,” she spats. “No one likes a show off.”

You smirk and counter. “Everyone likes me, so I guess it’s wrong.”

Ellie scoffs. “Have you ever heard of the word humble? Won’t hurt to know its definition.”

You grin and look ahead. “I do know it actually.” You whistle one more to piss her off.

This time she doesn’t retort back, instead you suddenly feel a snowball hit your back.

“Hey!” You exclaim and look back.

Ellie shoots you a smirk. “Show off,” she quips without shame.

You let out a small huff and stop walking to bend down and make a snowball. Ellie knows what you’re going to do and begins to walk back with a grin.

“Don’t,” she laughs and puts her hand out.

“Whistle,” you say. “And I won’t throw it. Oh wait,” you snicker. “You can’t.”

Ellie quickly bends down and collects a snowball, causing you guys to stay at a standstill to wait who’d throw it first.

“Throw it and I’ll push you in,” she threatens.

You begin to walk back and taunt her again with a whistle.

“Fucker!” Ellie runs and throws it, but you manage to turn out of the way, and it ends up hitting the back of your dads legs.

Ellie’s eyes go wide, and you and her stifle your laughs as he stops and looks back.

“It was me,” she admits with a smirk, and you let your snowball fall, and snicker.

Your dad looks between the two of you, he lets his gaze linger without saying anything. And when he does break his gaze away it’s to glance down at his wrist for a second before he lifts his eyes and lets out a deep annoyed sigh. “Enough foolin’ around, let’s go.” He grumbles and turns to continue on ahead, causing you guys to follow after him now.

“You guys should teach me how to hunt. Like, seriously,” Ellie says.

“Huh,” your dad breathes out.

“Huh,” Ellie mocks. “Like she’s a girl. she can’t handle it.”

“You can handle the shootin’” you assure her.

“Not so sure about the dressin’?” Your dad adds on to your comment.

“What’s the dressin’?” Ellie asks.

You look over at her and explain it to her. “It’s when you take the guts out.”

Ellie nods as she falls behind. “Oh, yeah. Why do they call it dressing? It’s like, you should call it undressing ‘cause it is. It’s like undressing from the inside.”

You hum in agreement and think about it now too.

“Still interested, though.” Ellie adds.

“I told you,” you tell her and grin as you see glimpses of the dam coming up. “Let’s just get more bullets, and we can do it.” You then run up ahead and stop at the top of the hill that overlooks the running water that goes through the dam.

Ellie and your dad catch up, and Ellie of course adds something to specialize the moment. “Dam.”

You and your dad share a judgmental gaze before he retorts for you. “You’re no Will Livingston.”

“Yeah, yeah, but who is?” She rebuttals. “So that made electricity?”

“Yeah,” your dad answers her. “Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.”

You smile wider and linger in your spot for a moment before you continue walking.

“You know, you could’ve just made something up,” Ellie interjects as they both follow you now whilst you try hard not to just run home out of pure joy. “I would’ve believed you.”

“You know,” you add on as you walk down, past the dam. “The dam still provides electricity. I’ve been told how, but I forgot, but there is light in Jackson, trust me.”

“Huh,” Ellie huffs out. “Well we're almost there aren’t we? We’ll see.”

“Yeah.” You mutter. “We will.”

Once you make it down you each step makes your heart beat pick up, each other footstep makes you wary since you know that the rangers out on pontrol should probably be approaching. It’s rare that they’d miss spotting the three of you.

“Look at that River,” Ellie points out. “It’s crazy blue. Hey, Joel, what if this is the River of Death?”

You hear him stop, so you stop even with your anticipation to get home, and wait for them. You watch him pull out his map to check what you’ve already pointed out.

“We’re close,” you break the silence. “Let’s go.”

As you take a few steps ahead, you come to a quick halt as the sound of horses neighing, their running footsteps steal your attention.

Your dad takes Ellie’s hand and tries to run away, while you stay in place and watch multiple people surround you, stopping Ellie and your dad right by you.

“Get behind me,” you hear your dad tell Ellie, before he grabs your hand and tries to pull you behind him too.

However, you slip your hand away and step forward again. You’re not scared, you recognize this tactic, you know the protocol, you know it’s them.

“We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble,” your dad interjects to try to ease the tension. “We’re just passin’ through.”

You glance around at all of them, all the faces of the people that surround the three of you. Since they all have hats, and masks over their faces it’s hard to identify who’s who. You doubt much has changed as far as routines go, maybe some people have been added here and there, but it should be the same otherwise. They might recognize you and ease the tension.

Albeit just as you lower your hand to take off your mask all guns point at you

“Keep your hands up!” The man at front yells.

“Yes,” you mutter and search the crowd again for Maria, she usually likes to patrol at the gate.

Behind you a dog begins to whine; maybe it’s the alert dog…fuck that’s right. Fuck.

“Drop the guns!” The man yells again.

You snap your gaze to your dad and give him an assuring nod before you both pull your guns off your shoulders, and place them on the ground. When you’re lifting your arms again is when you reach for your mask and pull it off, you then lift your hand further and pull off your hood, finally revealing your face to those ahead of you.

Again you search the crowd and behind the man you spot her, Maria. Her eyes land on you too and you see her ease her shoulders.

The man ahead lowers his gun slightly and squints his gaze slightly. “Holy shit,” he mutters. “The child protege returns.” He scoffs and glances back, you follow his line of gaze and see Maria getting off her horse, she lowers her mask and her eyes soften—“welcome home, Sunny.”

You smile with relief, and offer him a nod.

“You’re gonna have to stay there girl,” he adds. “You know the rules.”

You nod and look at Ellie and your dad. “It’s okay,” you mutter and keep your hands at your side.

“You been near infected?” He asks.

You shake your head and try to answer, but your dad beats you to it.

“There’s no infected out here.”

“The hell there ain’t,” the guy spats back and whistles, making a dog from ahead of you bark as he’s brought over.

Then who’s whining behind you?

“Last chance for a bullet. If you’ve been infected, he will smell it and he will rip you up.”

You swallow thickly and glance over at Ellie.

Usually the dog only detects active cordyceps, hers is…dormant considering it hasn’t spread? Or is it active?

Fuck.

The dog is let go from its leash and he first begins to walk to your dad. He first smells him to make sure, and once he smells nothing he jumps up and gives the all clear. After that the dog walks over to you, he smells your feet and your legs, before jumps on you and gives you the all clear.

“Good boy,” you coo at him and scratch him behind the ears.

The dog happily wags his tail before getting on all fours to walk back to his handler.

“Like I said, we’ll just move on,” your dad interjects. But it’s not that easy, they still need to make sure Ellie is clear. You can’t move otherwise, not even to greet Maria that is itching to meet up with you as much as you are to meet up with her.

“Now her,” they point to Ellie.

Your heart begins to race, and your mind begins to race faster. The dog begins to growl as he creeps towards her, so you look at your dad to see what he’d do, but you see that he’s frozen…he’s…frozen.

He must truly care about her….

Fuck.

You step back and face Ellie, and she looks over at you at that moment too to express her concern since your dad wouldn’t turn to face her.

“It's okay,” you mouth to her as the dog gets closer. “It’s okay.” You discreetly reach your fingers for your holstered gun. If the dog does detect the cordyceps then you’ll have to…wound it so he doesn’t hurt her, they’ll all probably hate you for it, but you can’t let her die.

The dog gets closer, he smells her for a few seconds before he looks up at her. You hold your breath and clench your jaw.

Ellie glances at you again, and you step forward, but the dog then barks and jumps on her, giving the all clear, and letting you relax and exhale deeply.

“Hi,” Ellie giggles and crouches down to pet the dog and let him lick her. “Hi!”

Now that he isn’t going to kill her, you look at the guy for the okay.

He catches you and points to Maria with his eyes. You immediately beam as your eyes begin to sting, and don’t wait a moment longer to break into a run towards her, meeting her halfway.

“Oh god,” she whispers as she throws her arms around you. “You’re here. You’ve been gone too long.”

You nod and ball up the material of her jacket in your fists as you nuzzle your head against her shoulder.

“I’m home,” your voice quivers, forgetting those you came with as you’re basked by the joy, and warmth of being in her arms again. It’s why you miss the curious stare of your dad, the confusion that grows within him, whilst Ellie begins to feel a spark of something deep within her, something she hasn’t felt about you before, jealousy…not for what you might have with Maria, but over how she holds you and what it can mean.

Sure at first she was slightly jealous of you, of how your father showed you affection, but that soon disappeared, quickly actually; the moment she saw you take down that man. And now after 3 months, after witnessing what happened 3 months ago together. After 2 months of you teaching her things she didn't know, things she wanted to know, now after having someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. Now after finally having another woman to bond with her instead of just your dad. After having no one but you and your dad, she’s grown quite attached to you too.

She knew you were heading home to your family, but something in her hoped you wouldn't be so overjoyed, she didn’t want you to stay with them. She wanted just you, your dad, and her. Even if she noticed how you and your dad barely even talked at the moment.

“You’re never leaving,” Maria says and rests her chin on your head. “You understand that?”

You laugh and nod. “Not plannin’ to.”

Maria tightens her hold around you for one more lingering second before she pulls back to grab your shoulders and look at you in the face, to see the happy tears that roll down your cheeks.

“Tommy is going to freak out,” she says with a happy smile. “I was so worried,” she sighs and caresses your cheeks as she looks deep into your eyes.

You try to hide it well, the sadness brought by your still very much active grief, but can she tell in this small interaction?

“I’m home now,” you assure her. “I’m okay.”

“Are you?” She asks.

You nod and offer her a brighter smile. “I…am.”

She hums, and caresses your chin once more before letting you go, and letting you turn to introduce who you’re here with now that you remember that you’re still surrounded. But before you can, a big red bloodhound comes running at you and tackles you to the ground with all its force to start licking you, and whining out of joy.

“Hey!” You hear Ellie exclaim with concern.

“Ahh,” you groan and keep tilting your head away so you wouldn’t be licked in your mouth. “That’s a good boy, Achilles,” you tell him. “I missed you too man, but you’re heavy.”

“Maybe he’ll help you get cleaned up,” you hear someone say as they approach you. “Achilles, get off her man.”

The dog does as he’s told, letting someone else come to view as they stand above you now, blocking the natural bright light that almost blinds you, but shines around his head like he’s some majestic being.

“Fuck,” he gasps and throws his hand out to offer it to you.

As if it can be possible you grin brighter at the sight of his familiar soft brown eyes that gleam with happiness, and his beaming smile that spreads on his square jaw. You take his hand and let him help you off the ground, you stay there in front of each of other for a lingering moment just staring at one another with longing that comes rushing back at you—you also notice he doesn’t seem to aged much, he looks pretty much the same, except for his hair, it’s longer, fluffier, and no longer shaven.

It looks good that way. It’s nice to see him again. seeing your best friend since you joined the fireflies years ago brings even more ease to your wounded heart. It makes you excited, so much so that you squeal before you throw your arms around his neck.

“Jesus,” he mutters as he holds onto you. “I knew you’d make it.” He nuzzles his head against your shoulder, and you close your eyes to nuzzle your face against him.

“I’m finally home,” you whisper as if you can’t believe it.

He hums and begins to rub your back, he lets you bask in his embrace until you’re the one that wants to let go.

“You grew out your hair,” you point out with a smile and brush back the ends of his hair. “I like it.”

You begin to turn to face your dad and Ellie, but he turns with you to keep holding your gaze with a soft look that matches yours.

“Yeah,” he scoffs and grows cocky. “I knew you were coming, so I was like, I’m going to grow it for her since I know she likes it that way.”

You roll your eyes, but keep your smile as you walk past him to face your dad and Ellie now.

“They’re okay,” you assure the group. “They’re with me. That man is,” you exhale and share a glance with Maria. “My dad, Joel, the girl is Ellie.”

Slowly they both put their hands down, but the guns remain pointed.

“You vouch for them?” The guy asks you.

You glance at him and meet his gaze to nod. “Yep.”

The guy nods in comprehension and lowers his gun, letting the others do the same.

“Let’s get them on some horses and get them inside,” the guy instructs.

You glance at Ellie and your dad once before you turn on your heels to follow Maria.

“That’s your dad?” Apollo asks quietly beside you as he makes his horse, and his dog Achilles follows him as you all head home. “Are you gonna present me or what?”

“Shut up, Apollo,” you snap back and nudge him.

Apollo laughs and looks back. “I kinda see it between him and Tommy.”

You giggle. “Well they are brothers. You and Atlas look alike for that same reason.”

“You and your sister didn't look alike,” Apollo quickly rebuttals.

You huff out. “‘Cause we were half sisters, duh, do you want it explained to you how that works? Mama,” you look at Maria up on her horse now. “You want to explain to Apollo how that works.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Apollo retorts and nudges you.

You giggle, and notice Maria smirk.

Not so long after that Ellie, your dad, and you are whisked to some horses, finally being able to rest your feet and not have to walk the rest of the way to Jackson. You come to recognize most of the rangers who had given you that cold welcome, and greet all those you knew and that knew you.

You weren’t inside the walls yet, you haven’t seen your uncle yet, but you did feel more safe now, more comforted now that you aren’t out in the open. Now that you’re only minutes from home.

“I can’t wait to share the hell I’ve been through these past two years,” you interject on your way home. “You guys won’t fucking believe it.”

Apollo glances over at you and narrows his gaze to quip. “Maybe.” He licks his lips and looks serious. “You should tell it in the form of a play, hm?”

He’s making fun of you, funny.

“Yeah,” you go along with him. “The adventures of y/n Miller, one woman show, the musical.” You smirk and bounce your eyebrows.

“Who would play you?” He counters. “‘Cause,” he says and sucks in air through his teeth. “I hate to break it to you, but singing isn’t for you, you can play the guitar, but it’s singing that just….” He shakes his head.

You drop your jaw, peel your eyes wide as if suddenly hit with excitement, and snap your fingers to share your thought. “I have the best idea. Maybe…your mom can do it?”

Apollo goes serious, and you stifle your laugh as you grin at him.

“Can I get a bump?” You tease him and stick your fist out at your other side to offer Ellie a fistbump since she’s riding beside you.

Ellie’s confused at first, but she doesn’t leave you hanging. Apollo shakes his head with a frown, so you now offer him your fist.

“Come on,” you encourage him. “Don’t leave me hanging, it was funny.” You giggle.

Apollo rolls his eyes but very lightly hits your fist. “Only because you’re back,” he mutters.

You shrug sweetly and shoot him a sweet smile.

“It was a lame joke,” Ellie mutters.

You roll your eyes to her and sigh. “Well, I think it works,” you assure yourself. “It was good at the moment.” You flash her a smile.

Jackson isn’t far now, you all make it there quickly by horse. That wooden wall comes to view soon, and after being gone for so long, it’s such a heavenly sight. What once felt like a trapdoor, what once felt like a cage is now nothing but paradise. Walking in was such a fucking relief too. There was instant comfort in all the buildings, some that have had some tweaks and others that remain the same.

“Welcome back home,” Maria tells you as the gates close behind you.

You shoot her a smile and continue to look around at all the people, and then focus on the Christmas decorations, letting you know come up to date with what month it was; December! It’s almost Christmas!

Yet, even as happy as you feel, there’s a sadness that stabs your heart, that reminds you of that pain…

Henry and Sam should be here. They should’ve made it this far, they should’ve seen all this. You promised them…

“Y/N?!”

You snap away from your thoughts and look behind you where the call had come from, that’s when you see another familiar face, a close friend from your firefly days, and Apollo’s younger brother.

You turn your frown the other way around so they won’t worry. “Atlas!” You call out and climb off the horse, letting the man behind you take it for you.

“I knew it was you!” Atlas exclaims as you both run to meet halfway in an embrace. “Holy fuck!” He chuckles. “Fuck! I thought you were dead!”

You laugh softly and pat his back. “I made it, like I said I would.”

He smiles and caresses the back of your neck with his soft hands. “We missed you. Home wasn’t the same without you.”

You pull back and offer him a happy smile. “You haven’t aged,” you point out.

“Nah,” he winks. “Just got more handsome.”

You scrunch your nose in disgust and pull away from him completely.

Atlas smirks and glances at the pair you came in with as they walk away further in town. “You’ve brought company.”

You nod and turn to walk after them now, seeing Apollo approach on foot. “Yeah, that’s my dad,” you let Atlas know.

Atlas snaps his head to you and furrows his thick dark eyebrows. “No fucking way. Like, your dad, dad?”

Why are they so in disbelief that he’s your dad? Is there something you’re missing?

“Yeah.” You nod and scoff. “Him.” You let out a sigh and watch Apollo fall by your other side now. “I’ve got a question,” you abruptly change the subject as curiosity grows. “Are you still with redhead Jessica?”

Atlas begins to snicker, but Apollo answers before his brother can blurt the news.

“We broke up.”

You perk up instantly.

“Yeah,” Atlas bounces off his brother's announcement. “She cheated on him.” He smirks.

What a relief…not the cheating part.

Well…kinda…

“Yeah,” Apollo sighs as he shoots his brother a glare. “It happened like a year ago.”

You smile and let him see it. “Bad news, told ya.”

“Whatever,” Apollo retorts.

“Atlas! You rangle up stragglers?!” You hear a woman shout.

Apollo and you snap your heads to the side, seeing Atlas spin around to walk backwards so he can look at the young girls that had spoken to him.

“Yep!” Atlas lies. “Bad ones too! I spotted them myself, kept them from getting shot.”

You and Apollo share an amused and judgemental look before continuing to watch Atlas, noticing at that moment a pile of shit that one of the horses dropped just now; and Atlas was walking right towards it.

“A thousand that he steps in it,” you offer Apollo.

Your friend scoffs and shakes his head. “No need, he’s going to step in it.”

You both snicker and watch Atlas continue to walk back.

“Let’s meet later while everyone is at the movies, I’ll tell you all about it, and my recent patrol!”

The girls giggle and nod. “Let’s do it!” One of the girls accepts.

Atlas shoots them a wink, and as he does he runs into the pile of hot horse shit.

Without looking, as if you hadn’t ever left, Apollo and you share a proud highfive at his brother's carelessness.

“Oh man!” Atlas exclaims. “What the hell?!”

“Y/N?!” Someone yells, this one more familiar and soothing than before.

You snap your eyes ahead, and there in the middle of the crowd that had greeted you outside the gates, beside your dad, is your uncle Tommy.

“Uncle Tommy!” You call back with instant tears filling your eyes as you’re slammed with unmeasurable relief, more bliss than you’ve felt since you saw your dad for the first time.

Your uncle Tommy smiles softly and without hesitation, before wasting another second you both break through barriers of space to collide, to throw your arms around one another and hold each other.

“Oh, babygirl,” he whispers as he caresses your back, and holds you in his arms tightly as if he would lose you if his hold was too loose.

“Uncle Tommy,” you cry after not being able to hold it any longer.

“Oh,” he breathes out. “My sweet Sunny.”

As you held him, as you cried into his shoulder, you felt finally home, secured. This was home. Him. Uncle Tommy. For so long he was all you had after your dad left, for so long even when your dad was there he was the light that didn’t flicker away. He was the hope you almost lost. He was home, just as much as you were his.

Yes, as you hugged him, as you held him close you did notice the faint look of hurt in your dads eyes as he saw the interaction, it hurt you seeing it. But isn’t this what he wanted when he left you? When he drove you away? When you weren’t enough for him?

When you weren’t enough for him to stay and be your dad?

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201@maeneedsabreak@maelartasch@adristyles@daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27

[sunthyme]

LAST PART!!! WE'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH, BOIS! Thank y'all so much, I know I keep saying it but I really appreciate y'all sm. The next post I do will feature my Yuusona or Prefect design and some headcanons featuring it. After that, I'll give y'all some options to see whatcha'll want. Now for...

🌹Diasomnia🌹

The disclaimer from Ignihyde is still in effect here, most of my headcanons are either because it looked cool or sounded cool lmao.

First up is...

🐉Malleus Draconia🐉

(he/she/they/it any basically) Agender - Panromantic Asexual

*giggles, kicks feet, twirls hair* Mal... Anyways! Some of y'all probably been waiting for this one! My silly fae prince, whose identity may or may not be based on my own. Sue me, this bitch is hella relatable.

- So, onto the headcanons, I felt like Mal wasn't all that intimidating when he first popped up outside our house. Idk, I see a cat-type personality and all my self preservation is thrown out the nearest window. She's just a big meow. But I wanted them to actually look rather intimidating, making his bangs cover his eyes a bit more, darker makeup, whatnot.

- I know Mal is canonically taller than the rest of the cast but Imma make her even taller. Its 6'6" without the horns and like 6'11 or 7' with them. I want them to be a cryptid!! Also the height difference with Lilia bout to be crazy.

- I like the idea that my prefect made her some lil Howl's Moving Castle earrings, even though it obvious doesn't exist in their world. Or maybe it does??? Who knows.

- *scientist voice* The autism is this subject is astronomical. *cough* Yeah, it's also not up for debate. The gargoyles, the general demeanour. Yuu is their favoured person.

- Malleus and my prefect would probably interact a little differently than Yuu does canonically, as we're both silly little autistic people, but I'll save that for my Yuusona post lol.

- Really tempted to throw in that it has a forked tongue. Does have fangs but Mal and Jamil probably both have forked tongues, j st for funsies.

- Loves to read sappy romance novels, is giggling and kicking her feet at soulmate stuff in particular. Has a whole list of little date ideas in a notebook (totally not saying this because /I/ have one or anything)...

Not mush else to say give I've only canonically interacted with her like three times but now for everyone's favourite grandpa!

🦇Lilia Vanrouge🦇

(he/she) - Bisexual

- Teehee! So I saw someone headcanons Lilia as Indian and I was SO here for it, though I think he's be half Indian, half Mexican or smth.

- Gave this girl SO many piercing. I feel like she got them 'cause she was bored. Idk, 500 years is pretty old, ya gotta spice things up some how.

- Some scars from 'ye old days'(tm) and I made his hair a bit wavy and added a green gradient to the ends, just to mimick Malleus' hair. Also, this bitch stands a proud 5'3" on a good day (aka with heels).

- He's the kind of dad that makes his kids wear matching pjs during the winter holidays and while he knows his kids like the back of his hand, chooses to give them silly gifts most of the time. Also, he spoils Mal and Silver rotten.

- Absolutely tries to get Malleus to properly flirt with MC but it never works out like he plans. Silver just watches with mild amusement.

Speaking of Silver,

🗡️Silver Vanrouge🗡️

(he/they) Demiboy - Achillic Asexual

- Yes, I was mad he doesn't canonically have a last name. I figured that Lilia would have officially adopted him at some point or another and typically you need a last name for a lot of things so I just gave them Lilia's.

- I think that Silver's gray hair is natural and once it gets to be a certain length, it just becomes gray. Additionally, Lilia's a cool dad so Silver got dyed ends and piercings too.

- I actually headcanon that Silver's blind and has narcolepsy (though that's pretty much canon). It was likely from birth or manifested early on and as a result, Malleus is a bit protective of Silver (and Sebek is too but he'd never admit it lol). He has a service dog, which is probably a cute golden retriever named Aurora, and records lectures to listen back to. He, Kalim, and Ruggie have little study groups as second years. Also, Silver's autistic. Lilia really out here collecting autistic children lmaooo.

- He really likes to knit. Don't ask why but I think he'd enjoy the rhythym of it. (He's made Ruggie and Kalim scarves and both treasure them a ton) He likes to make blankets for Malleus and Lilia as well as himself. He loves to work with the chunkier and softer yarns, especially because it makes keeping track of the stitches easier.

- Owes SO MANY plushies. His bed is half dedicated to them, most probably give to him by Lilia for birthdays and holidays. He loves soft things so all the plushies are like squishmellows and stuff.

Ah, I love Silver. Onto our last canon character,

🐊Sebek Zigvolt🐊

(he/him) - Achillic

Oh boy, this design was such a pain. I literally had to redo it because I didn't like it. Though, in the end, I think it turned out pretty neat.

- On with the physical stuff, I fucked around with his skin tone a bit because it did not look right with his hair in my og design which had a more lime, yellowy green instead of the mint. I made it warmer and ditched the yellow green for the original design's mint, just darker. Finally, I thought I needed a kick of something so I gave him some violet streaks and eyes and BOOM! A Sebek!

- I gave him a bit of a rounder face, I feel like he wouldn't have outgrown his baby chub yet, and a single dimple. I thought it'd be super cute, sue me. Cute lil freckles, the works.

- One thing I am super proud of was his Lichtenburg scar (I believe that's what it's called, I've only really heard in in TMA oops). While I certainly didn't do it justice here, I'll be fleshing it out at some point. I think it's a cool addition to the character based on lighting, maybe his magic accidentally hit him or damaged him at some point idk.

- He is, wait for it... also autistic. Shocker, pun intended. He's actually AuDHD to me and has issues with volume regulation, which is real idk. Would actually also be sensitive to loud noise, as backwards as that sounds. Has noise-cancelling headphones courtesy of Idia. Malleus is his favoured person and he looks up to him a lot.

- Grew up loving dragons and thinking they were like the coolest fcuking things then met Mal and was in awe. Was a totally nerd about dragons as a kid and still has figures and posters and whatnot.

God, I love the Diasomnia characters sm omgggg. It's time for my ocs!

🪡Thumbelina Souster🪡

Third Year - (they/she) Genderqueer - Pansexual

She looks like Zelda. I know... but she's pretty!

- Thumbelina is 'twisted' from the loom in the story of Sleeping Beauty. IF EPEL IS LITERALLY AN APPLE, she can be a loom. Anyhow, I made her a fae as well, likely one of the craft fairies, just taking on a more human-sized form. She takes a ton of inspo from the og story of Thumbelina, as a tiny little fae she got separated from her kin and raised by human parents. That's why she doesn't have the 'ick' about humans that most fae have.

- When she got accepted to NRC, Crowley gave her access to a potion that changes her size so she'd be able to attend school easier. Her parents were tailors and so she grew up around sewing but could never do it because of how tiny she was. When she changed sizes, she immediately wanted to try her hand at sewing, official joining (or maybe founding) the sewing club.

- After intially joining Diasomnia and seeing Lilia's piercings, they piqued her curiosity and she got some.

- As a fae, she loves to be outdoors and tends to a garden outside of the dorm. She also rather oblivious when some expresses interest in her as she's not familiar with human courting. Lilia adopts yet another autistic child lmao.

For another character based on something mildly abstract...

🥀Munkh Sarnai🥀

Second Year - (they/he/she) Genderfluid - Asexual Aromantic

- Munkh is my character for the thorns that encircled Aurora's castle. Minorly abstract but hey, cool ass character design.

- They're Mongolian and I wanted the spikey aspect to really shine through, giving them liberty spikes thanks to my friend's suggestion! Wanted to go really punk especially because I haven't really done so in a character design before and I LOVE IT!

- She was originally going to have a Maleficent colour palette for the spikes but it was getting too close to some of the other designs so I made it black and red to emulate roses.

- He's a part of the music club as well, likely a vocalist or drummer. He loves the energy and the people are really cool, plus obviously his vice housewarden's there.

- They're also on the athletic side and enjoy various sports, namely Spelldrive. Also, she does own her own blastcycle and immediately bonds with Deuce over a shared love of them. Deuce and Munkh like this 🤞.

Last but not least...

⏰Kyra Delano⏰

First Year - (she/her) - Sapphic

Pspsps... TMA fandom... pspsps Delano...

- Kyra's my oc twisted from Tick Tock, the alligator(?) from Peter Pan. I gave her the yellow-green from my original Sebek design and it looks way better here.

- I think as a reference to the clock and like 'ticking', she'd have Tourette's. It sometimes flares up more than others so she has an agreement with the teachers about class times where it's acting up.

- I think she'd have like mild beef with Josephina because they met on a wrong foot during orientation but it's not a huge deal. Probably sleep-deprived Josephina said something insulting Diasomnia and Kyra was like, "What the hell?". They have a friendly competition going on now, every gym class.

- She's a part of the track and field club and is one of the fastest on the team. That being said, she's not a huge fan of physical activity and prefer to read in the library or study.

Head's up, I lied. This isn't the last post. I have to do the staff and extra character like Neige, Che'nya, and Cheka. Plus Grim. I tricked you >:). Mayhaps it'll be up tomorrow... love y'all!🩷🩷🩷

[stobinesque]

Make Me Write: SNIPPET

The people have spoken and the people want Jeff to be Steve's bisexual awakening! I now have ~1.7k words written of this fic that had previously been a vague outline in the back of my head. Full disclosure, though: the "awakening" part of this is going to take a good long while for our beloved Steve.

I'm tagging everyone who explicitly requested this for WIP Wednesday (I counted each request as 3 additional sentences to my total count). But I'm going to hang onto the asks and use them for future motivation!

SNIPPET BELOW!

The return to school is a rocky one. The worst of the bruising has faded, and Steve can finally make it through most of a day reasonably alert—at home, at least. But there’s still a persistent ache throughout his whole body, and the fluorescent lights at Hawkins High are suddenly audible in a way he doesn’t remember them being just a couple weeks ago. About halfway through second period he develops a splitting headache that only gets worse as the hours tick by, and he feels seconds away from losing a breakfast he didn’t eat.

And that’s just the physical stuff. Returning to the social feeding frenzy of a small-town high school stuffed with teens with nothing to do than stick their noses all the way up the asses of everyone around them after getting his lights knocked out by the shiny new guy… Max may have knocked Billy out, but Billy’s not the one who had to take a week and a half off. Billy’s not the one with yellowing bruises splashed across his face. Billy’s had time to fashion himself a little amateur PR campaign, with Tommy Hagan as his own personal town crier.

It’s not like Steve had any particular interest in continuing to hover at the periphery of the circles he’d once been the ringleader of. But with Nancy tucked firmly into Jonathan’s side, and staunchly avoiding his gaze, and without the blandly polite interest of any of his other “friends,” Steve is just…adrift.

And on top of all of that, somehow a grade 3 concussion has not managed him a get out of jail free card for the stack of problem sets, papers, and tests he missed while he was out. Steve’s not totally convinced that a couple teachers didn’t tack on additional assignments out of spite.

“Mr. Harrington.”

Steve freezes with one foot in Mr. Donovan’s classroom. “Yes?”

“You’ll be making up the test you missed at the end of last week.”

“Didn’t I also miss the lessons for that test?”

“It’s not my fault if you didn’t have someone to take notes for you while you were away.”

“Away? I had a concussion.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you’ll think twice before getting up to whatever nonsense resulted in that unfortunate accident again. But that does not change the fact that you have a test you need take before you can continue in this class.”

Steve works his jaw, tempted to pull out the ‘my parents will be hearing about this’ card. He probably could get his mom to kick up enough of a fuss to get him out of the test. If he played his cards right, he might even manage to rile his dad enough to get Mr. Donovan fired. But either option was a devil’s bargain, and Steve has had quite enough of hell and its denizens to last himself at least two lifetimes.

Steve swallows down a retort—if he’s not going to try to manipulate his way out of this he’s certainly not going to dig his hole any deeper—and crosses to the front of the room to grab the test from Mr. Donovan’s hand.

***

Almost all of the tables in the small library are full by the time Steve shuffles through the door right on the heel of the final bell. The only one free is the rickety wooden table near the back that has one leg about half an inch too short that always wobbles whenever someone so much as looks at it. Steve sighs, but he resigns himself to sneaking a book thin enough to wedge under the table leg off the shelf while Mrs. Miller is looking away.

A minute later, Steve is cycling through a large stack of very small books when he’s startled by someone speaking from behind him. “I’d go with The Awakening.”

“Huh?” Steve doesn’t even turn around, singularly focused as he is on making this table passably usable for taking the goddamn Chemistry test.

“The Awakening? Kate Chopin? Perfect profile for wedging under there.”

Steve scans the spines of his pile until he spots the book. Fishing it out, he sees that there is a small indent on the front cover that looks suspiciously similar to the shape of the table feet. Sure enough, it settles into place easily, and winks the wobble into nonexistence.

“Perfect, thank you.” Steve finally turns enough to catch sight of his savior. It’s another kid from Donovan’s fifth period Chemistry, but Steve can’t recall his name. If he puts his mind to it and casts back far and wide, he can maybe conjure an image of a darker-skinned teen sitting at the same cafeteria table as Eddie freaking Munson, but there’s a strong chance Steve’s just extrapolating based on the fact that the guy is currently wearing one of the silly “Hellfire Club” t-shirts. Not that knowing his extracurriculars helps at all with remembering what to call him. Steve’s never been the best at names and faces, but he’s starting to think Billy knocked something loose up there when he knocked him out (that’s basically what a concussion is, right?), because he can usually at least come up with some vague impression of a sound even if it’s off. His head is totally blank on this one.

Trying to recall the guy’s name just leaves him awkwardly staring into the middle distance, though. So when Hellfire Guy drops into one of the chairs at the table, it startles him into following suit. Hellfire Guy drops an identical packet to Steve’s on the table.

“You too?” Steve asks.

Hellfire Guy just kind of stares at him with a confused smile. “Why’d you think I was here during our shared class, Harrington?”

Steve flushes. “I didn’t really think before I spoke, to be honest.”

“Well at least you’re honest.” His new tablemate flashes a more genuine grin. “I was out with strep last week. Frankie grabbed my assignments for me, so I just have to make up this stupid test.”

Steve nods, pretending to know who Frankie is, and refusing to wish that he’d had someone willing to grab his assignments while he’d been out. It’s not like he could have done anything about them when he was sleeping two-thirds of the day away.

Steve settles at the table, and as he moves to start writing his name at the top of the page, he realizes that’s the perfect way to figure out Hellfire Guy’s name without seeming like a total jackass. He flicks his eyes across the table to try to catch a glimpse of what the other kid is writing. But Steve’s ability to parse other people’s handwriting is lackluster on a good day. Throwing in the additional obstacles of trying to read something upside down from a foot away and he may as well be trying to read French. He can’t get even a halfway decent look without having to strain himself awkwardly—which he nearly does, forgetting that the whole point of this exercise was to be discreet.

Hellfire Guy looks up to meet Steve’s gaze, and he looks a tad irked. “You trying to cheat off of me, Harrington?”

“No, no, I—” Steve cuts himself off, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t remember your name,” he says. The Steve of a year ago wouldn’t even care about whether or not he knew some nerd’s name. He doesn’t want to be that guy anymore, and yet he’s still right here in the same exact place. Only now he does care, and the fact that he can’t remember the name of a guy who’s sat two rows over from him for the last three and a half months is just embarrassing. “But I didn’t want you to think—” Steve blows out a sharp breath. “It seemed stupid to ask.”

Hellfire Guy blinks. “My name’s Jeff,” he says, without any hint of judgment or annoyance shading his tone. Jeff tilts his head and looks at Steve with an intent sort of squinting look. “Hargrove really did a number on you, huh?”

“Oh.” Steve hadn’t been expecting that response. “Yeah.” He paints a charming smile onto his face. He doesn’t want to talk about this. “We should probably stop talking before Mrs. Miller starts to think we are cheating.”

Jeff opens his mouth as though to say something, but then glances over the front desk. Mrs. Miller is talking to another student, but rather than call Steve out on his obvious deflection he just shrugs and returns to working on his own test. Steve lets out a slow steady exhale of relief and continues working on his own.

It doesn’t take long for the headache that’s been building all day to bloom into something distractingly painful. Even if parts of the test didn’t reference material that he entirely missed while he was out, all of the questions about stuff that he does recognize are about things he’s been struggling to grasp. The multiple choice section was fine—even if he’s not particularly confident he knows the answers to more than three of the questions, at least he can just guess and move on. But he’s thoroughly stuck on the segment of the test where he has to balance equations.

“Are you okay, man?”

Steve jolts in his seat and looks up at Jeff, who’s staring at him with what Steve takes to be genuine concern—as out of place as that should be on a nerdy junior whose name he didn’t know remember less than thirty minutes ago. Beyond that—what was Steve doing that even prompted Jeff to ask? “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Dude, you’re ripping your hair out, and you sound like a dying lawnmower.”

Steve immediately drops the hand that he didn’t realize had been tugging at his roots from his head, and flushes red. Maybe Billy punched a few holes through his filter while he was doing his best to cave his face in. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You stuck on something?”

Steve scoffs a bit. “All of it.” He runs a hand through his hair again, but this time to try to reverse some of the damage. “I hate balancing equations.”

Tagging: @eriquin @inairbinad @delta-piscium @steventhusiast @bifuriouswaterbender @xenon-demon @steves-strapcollection @spicysix

[quantomeno]

My ranking of the 'And that person is you!' scenes from Professor Layton

Ah, the iconic 'finger point' scene. They are Layton's trademark and it's so much fun when you know it's about to happen. You can feel the tension build.

But these moments are not all equal. Which scene will reign supreme?

Because these scenes involve big revelations and plot twists, this list will be rife with spoilers for both trilogies and the movie.

7. Azran Legacy

Firstly, the audience already knows who it is and no one else in the room could be it even if we didn't know. The other issue is that it's just got no build-up: Layton gives his spiel and then does the point. The room is cramped and there's not much drama or flair. By far the greatest problem though is that this felt like a side story. Bloom himself felt like wasted potential in some respects, but this whole mystery didn't seem all that important in the grand scheme of things. I honestly don't remember it that well and I am pretty sure he only stole a few artefacts that weren't plot relevant. It feels like they just wanted a pointing scene and this was the only logical place to put it.

6. Lost Future/Unwound Future

It is far too short, but the reveal has much more heft than Azran Legacy's. It is somewhat obvious that it's Future Luke once you realise what's happening, because only Don Paulo could be the other option, but the Clive revelation is still a massive twist. I give this scene bonus points because I like Clive's reaction to the accusation too.

5. Eternal Diva

I like this one, but it also feels a bit tacked on. The 'who has the key?' thing feels like it doesn't need deduction because they could just check everyone's pockets (and she's literally just holding it), but what saves it is that it ties into the bigger mystery and the revelation of Janice/Melina's identity. It feels impactful by the end, even if the initial tension feels overblown.

4. Miracle Mask

This one feels a fraction lacking in drama, but it makes up for it with its position/significance in the story. The wind blowing at the pivotal moment adds some nice flair. I would say it's also quite a shocking twist. It is what I would consider the baseline 'finger point' scene because it contains all the key features that make a good one, but I just don't think it has the same sensation of suspense that it needs to rank higher. Its execution is not as great as some.

3. Curious Village

This one lacks the trademark phrase, and it is also obvious who's the 'criminal element', but it makes up for it with the atmosphere of the room: it gives a classic murder mystery vibe, where all the key players have been gathered to learn the truth. It is scenes like this that makes me wish CV was a more traditional murder mystery because it has all the hallmarks of it. I am tempted to put this one below MM, but I feel this one is a touch more elegant and I value that.

2. Spectre's Call/Last Specter

This is one of the few times the game manages to surprise you with the revelation and has actively worked to make it seem like it was someone else. The foreshadowing of Doland, out of focus, standing behind Clarke, and Luke staring at his father, fully believing his own dad has been terrorising the town... and then how the camera pans from Clarke to Doland. It is a cleverly laid out scene and it has a great feeling of drama.

Pandora's Box/Diabolical Box

I could watch this scene on repeat forever. It is gorgeous. It also gives classic murder mystery vibes which I love. The suave coolness of Layton stirring his tea and calmly telling Chelmey he's go thee wrong man: perfect. Everyone's shocked reactions are fun and add to the tension. The pause after Layton's reasoning, and the shots of those involved leaves us with a delectable moment of suspense. Every shot is framed perfectly. And the revelation: it is not really surprising given we see Flora get kidnapped and she just made the comment that gave Layton the proof he needed, but it is still such an outrageous idea that Flora killed Dr Schrader and stole the box. The shots of everyone during the aforementioned pause at least try to create the illusion that it could be someone else. It also resolves one of the earliest mysteries of the game. The cherry on the cake is Luke's reaction (I love him so much). It is moments like this that make me want to put PB as my favourite game, but alas... I love LF too much.

[luv4fandoms]

Another headcanon that I'm obsessed with (as much as I'm obsessed with the idea of Marko being Italian)

Is David being originally from the south (This might partially be because I am a big Doc Scurlock fan but lol)

But also like..there isn't that much of a leap from gunslinger to biker in my opinion lol.

I could have seen David growing up on a farm, herding cattle with his dad and maybe brothers (I think he had 3 brothers, him being the oldest) and so he's used to taking charge, he's used to being the man of the house when his dad had to run to town, which was a two day trip.

But all good things must come to an end.

He had gone to town, a task that his father had asked one of his younger brothers to do but David did instead, after all, he had done all his chores early that day, and his brothers could take care of the horses for the one day he would be absent. He also didn't like his younger brothers going into town alone, he knew there were rough characters there.

Upon his return though he found something that had made his blood run cold...his whole family dead.

David instantly blamed himself, swore that if he would have been home he would have been able to save them, that he would have had control over the situation, even at 13.

A year later after living on his own and trying to find who killed his family, David learned the truth. His father had a few vices, 1. He was a heavy gambler, and his trips into town often left him broke and in debt. And 2. His father had an eye for taken women. Both of which left him with more enemies than friends. But it was when he got a little too friendly with and spent the night with a local gunslinger's wife that he officially had a bounty on his head.

His mother and brothers had just been casualties of the revenge.

At 14 he vowed to find the men who did it and kill them, and he spent the next 5 years doing that. Living as a gunslinger himself, taking bounties that would pay well and talking his way into the good graces of deep pocketed men and beautiful women. If he needed to, he would steal, but why steal when you can manipulate people into giving you money?

That was how he found Max, Max was one of the rich men whose good side David got on. He was impressed by David's wit, after all, in those times it was hard to find.

He had asked David what he planned to do with his life after he got his revenge, to which David didn't have an answer, having been so caught up on avenging his family, he hadn't thought of after. That was when Max offered David the gift of immortality, convinced him he would find the men faster with it, and that afterwards, well, he could do whatever he wanted. David did think it over, weighed his options, after all what Max was offering him had its pros and cons. But eventually the offer tempted him too much to pass up.

So that night Max turned him on his 21st Birthday.

And a few months later he found the gang that killed his family, getting revenge.

He wandered around a lot after that, doing whatever he pleased, but in the end he always stayed close to Max, always in the same state if not the same town. Slowly as time went on he found who he was, who he wanted to be outside of Max and his Vampirism, though he would never even think of getting rid of it if he had the chance, it was who he was now, but he knew he didn't have to be Max's shadow.

(I also think it was during his wandering that he met Dwayne and his tribe)

It took him a bit to hide his southern accent, and to this day he can still slip in and out of it.

There are also times he does think about his family, but after so long he feels very disconnected from it, like it was a whole other life, which he guesses, it was.

After all, he has three new brothers now, and he'll be damned if he lets history repeat itself.

Like I said, I am obsessed with Southern/Gunslinger David lol

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Welcome!

It’s come to my attention I don’t have an intro post (could’ve sworn I did but it’s disappeared somewhere) so here it is :)

Hello!

You can call me Arthur

He/him 🏳️‍⚧️ (pronouns.page)

Peppa pig was not my sexual awakening she just made me sound British. Yes I’m the guy who gave the Good Omens Mascot dad issues. No comment.

I’m aroace but it’s all a bit hand wavy, autistic, trans masc (ish???), and overall a bit of a mess. Enjoy my flailing.

I write fics sometimes

Multifandom (Good Omens, EPIC, Sherlock Holmes, etc) blog with a hefty serving of shitposting and family drama.

DMs and asks are open, I’m always up for a chat. I mean it. Tap on the glass. TAP ON IT.

Send me writing prompts!

More info under the cut (fandoms, other sites, tags)

Fandoms I’m into right now:

Good Omens (background interest atm)

Sherlock & Co (COME YELL AT ME ABOUT THEM)

The Odyssey/Iliad (PLEASE YELL AT ME AAAHJGKG)

And various other random stuff if I feel like it

Other things I post/rb about:

Asexuality

Neurodivergence

Writing

Adoptive family drama (under #the fam)

And shitpostery.

Other sites I’m on:

AO3

Discord - DM me for that if you’d like it

The Fam FAQ

It terrifies me that this is at a point that I must make an FAQ, but I will.

"Arthur, what the fuck is the fam?" you ask.

I don't know either. All I know is I've managed to amass several adoptive children, a mother, a brother, multiple niblings, a wine aunt, and a reputation.

I'm your dad. Your cishet deadbeat dad. That is the extent of the information available to my bewildered brain.

"How can I join the fam? Do I need to be good friends with you?"

Just send me an ask!!

Good news, the fam is like a subway sandwich: there are so many options available to you and you don't need to know the names of any of them to point and go "hey underpaid customer service worker, I want that one". Point is, I love you, welcome to the fam.

"But Arthur, what's my role?"

*Commercial voice* To chose from, you have...

adoptive child (very popular option. i will call you champ whether you like it or not. and bonus: chat with me over games of catch or golf like a true cishet dad does, and permanently be a better child than @weirdly-specific-but-ok will ever be)

nibling (general version of niece/nephew) (join @queermarzipan and @hoarder-of-dragons, i will still call you champ even though im your uncle)

grandparent (aka one of my or my (absent) wife's parents, this is @hell-hath-no-fury-like-love, my disapproving mother)

sibling (be the weird aunt/uncle to, like, seven or more strange and traumatised children)

by request, you can also become an in-law if you find a willing maggot to marry (@random-doctor-on-the-internet happy now)

i can't think of any other relations but if you come up with one YOU ARE COMPLETELY FREE TO CLAIM IT

you can be anything -- in the end of the day, you'll always be better than @weirdly-specific-but-ok :D

My tags:

#let me tempt queue — queue tag

These others I really should implement but half the time I forget. Good luck.

#arter speaks — my own posts

#arter writes — any sort of writing or prose I end up doing

#arter flails — long reblog chains, general idiocy

#arter gets needlessly patriotic — I somehow seem to post a lot about australia. I don’t even like it here.

#the fam — I have somehow managed to adopt several children, I try to tag our shenanigans with this for Memories, feel free to block it as they often take the form of very long rb chains

#arthur's snazzy gomens teacher au -- what it says on the box. Tags for my good omens teacher AU: "Love As A Hallway And Several Novelty Mugs".

#arthur’s numerous adoptive children #and niblings — adoption records

Don’t really have any others. This blog is as unorganised as my thought process.

[at1nys-blog]

Please may I..this may seem unusual but may I have Blue exorcist headcanons of how would Rin and Yukio Okumura react to the Elric brothers from Fullmetal alchemist and their very different sibling relationship from theirs. If they ended up in the Blue exorcist world.

*I'm just curious that is all*

How would Rin get along with Edward Elric

How would Yukio Okumura get along with Al Elric

MY TWO WORDS COLLIDING??? FUCK YES

Funnier if the Okumura ends up in FMAB

Edward and Al are just chilling after a long day

Edward is reading books and doing his researches

Alphonse is either coocking or just there, in silence watching over his brother when...

...the door opens and two very unfamiliar guests are in the room

The two couple of brothers look at one another confused

Rin and Yukio are confused because the key Mephisto gave them was supposed to send back to Cram School but no.

The Elric brothers are as confused as the strangers because who are they? And why are they wearing weird uniforms?

After the first seconds of confusion Ed is ready to fight

One touch at the ground and his weapon is ready

Okumura twins being schoked once again

Rin is excited about that though

Shining eyes and he WANTS TO KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED RIGHT NOW

Asks a lot of questions

Like a lot A LOT

Yukio is trying to stop Rin but is useless

In the mean time Alphones doesn't know what to do

Should he attack them? Talk to them?

He goes with option number two. What a mistake

Yukio is like "WHO IN GEHENNA JUST TALKED???" with guns in hand

Doesn't get it is the armor, why would he?

Rin is ready to fight too this time

But again when Alphonse talks again showing himself Rin is EXCITED

Even more than when the other dude got a weapon from the ground

Infinite question round two starts

Now, once everyone had calmed down they are trying to understand what happened but both sides come up with...

Nothing.

They might as well spend some time toghether but first, what is that amazing smell that fills Rin's nostrils?

Alphonse and Rin will bond over cooking

Yukio and Edward... over knowledge?

Ed, would still have his guard up and so Yukio

It would take some time for them to loosen up but they might at the end of the day

Edward would let Yukio read throught his books

Yukio would 100% asks where the demons at

Edward is tempted to call Mustang and ask him for the closest asylum

Ed: So, how is your's guys relationship?

Yukio: I pointed a gun at him. I blamed him for our dad's death. Sided against him when his classmates found out his biological dad is Satan. Joined an association after they tried to kill us and our friends.

Rin: Nothing too big

Edward&Alphonse: 🤨

Rin: what about you guys?

Ed: I gave up an arm to get him back, didn't go as planned but at least his soul is back

Rin&Yukio: ...

They would not get into more details about their brotherhood because they are so different is akward

During dinner Rin and Edward would be fighting over who gets the last piece and the youngest would be like "there is more?"

More chattie chatt after dinner

More mind blowing revelations

"what do you mean Satan wants to conquer the world?"

"No, you what do you mean people are getting killed to bring God back?"

If they aren't send back to their world and have to sleep over Rin would asks to sleep on Alphonse

You read that right. ON ALPHONSE

He wants to try and sleep on a human armor

Spoilers, is not that comfy but it was an experience

If Mephisto comes within the day to save them the brothers would excange some of their items so they can remember that day (read Rin and Al would do that because Yukio and Ed find it pointless)

Rin would talk about the interaction like non stop

Yukio is more chill when asked about it

Edward would think about the twins every now and then

Alphonse has "missing the Okumura twins hour" every now and then

[commehter]

Does Zu-Ozai ever get to have a romantic partner again? Losing Mai (and their not-yet-born child) seems like it would be profoundly lonely.

Ah. Well...

The short answer is that I don't have any solid plans on including a romantic interest one way or the other for Zu-Ozai in SToFLO. Let alone a particular who that would fill the role. I'm open to options, but I'm not married to any of the ideas I've had thus far.

Long answer (and potential spoilers) under the cut.

The thing is, it's kind of an awkward topic to tackle. I understand the desire for Zu-Ozai to have someone, but... Simply put he's a 19-year-old in a 35-year-old body, tossed 6 years into his own past and grieving the loss of his first wife and child. No matter what I choose to do, that's going to be messy.

The entire main cast (and the bulk of the rest of the cast for that matter) is way too young. A good chunk of the remaining cast is too old. In the leftover sliver of the canon cast, that isn't already married... Frankly, I'm not seeing any options that I'd care to write.

Maybe I've missed someone, but I can't think of a single canon character I'd be happy pairing with Zu-Ozai.

That leaves the OC route and... Welp, I haven't ruled it out, but I am highly aware that main-canon-character/original-character pairings aren't terribly popular and put a lot of readers off. (I should know. I'm one of the folks that typically avoid them like the plague.) I could get into the weeds of why, but that might easily spiral into a rather long rant... Suffice it to say that MCC /OC pairings tend to be poorly written about 98% of the time before we ever get into other reasons someone may not want to read such a pairing.

I'm still playing with the idea though because I have read a few fics that did it right. (Vathara's Embers comes to mind for giving Iroh an OC girlfriend that I rather liked.) But the "trick" to doing it right largely comes down to the OC in question having a life and purpose outside of being shipping fodder, so I can't just make a random OC on the sole basis of "Zu-Ozai deserves a wife."

That comes with its own tangle of problems. What is the OC's other (read: main) role in the story? How does this OC enter Zu-Ozai's life? Why does she stay? Are they actually compatible personality wise? What about principles? What are the political ramifications? Can I, as the author, write it in a manner that is organic rather than forced?

Honestly, the answer to that last one is probably "only if you actually let it happen organically instead of pushing it."

So... Yeah. I'd like for our boy to find someone, too, but it's not something I'm going to focus on for fear of producing something truly cringe-worthy. (Either way, I write at the pace of frozen molasses, so it will be awhile before Zu-Ozai is ready to move on and try dating again, anyway.)

**As a final aside, my current leading idea (as of writing this post) for a potential OC match is Suki's mom. -- It's my understanding that Netflix actually made a character for that role (Did they axe Oyaji as village leader or something?) so I might end up stealing Yukari's name. Pessimist fish already decided we were stealing Raava's name from TLoK for the Avatar Spirit, after all. -- A warrior from a small, neutral nation that no one cares about seems about his speed for someone he might actually be interested in without creating a political nightmare in the process. Comes with a bonus excuse to drag an itty-bitty Suki into the narrative, too!

...Someone is going to have to explain to Zu-Ozai that children "playing" hide-and-explode(-plus-blades-for-the-nonbender) across palace rooftops is NOT a normal "sibling bonding experience." Just imagine, three little hellions and their dad who doesn't think they're doing anything all that unusual. Mom be like "no that's definitely not normal... keeps their skills sharp, though." ...Okay, so I'm half-tempted to do it for the hellion step-sibling trio alone. So adorable and yet terrifying!**

[journey-to-the-attic]

That's for linking the role swap au I forgot about it but I loved it so much-

Now my only problem is where Zhaoxi should be placed in the AU, or if all, for the dads to romance. I had. Many thoughts on this (some more disastrous than others). Sorry in advance if this AU you were happy to be Zhaoxi free.

1. Least horrible (in my opinion) option. Zhaoxi was a creche teacher at the time and IK was one of his many kids to watch over. Probably blames himself partially on turning a blind eye to IK wandering around (not so much as turning but he was busy with many kids) and how that 'led' to her death (I doubt Diavolo or Mephistopheles willingly aired out the king's dirty laundry, so this is assuming no one knows the truth about IK's death). One day while mourning the death of IK (either he stopped being a creche teacher or he does it under false cheer), a newly arrived and brooding Lucifer runs across him and the two be sad old men together about the deaths of their loved ones (even if Lucifer's brothers are still with him, his sister is not and his brothers' dying still hurts too). Sad old men bond over being sad, then try to be happy despite the sad and help each other slowly heal. Only for Zhaoxi to spot demon IK later at the exchange and just frickin. Collapse. Watch out Devildom you might have another fallen angel soon.

2. True dad pairing. Sonno and Lucifer. Impossible and I refuse for all their sakes. I admit to touching on this in my thoughts (as Sonno, if I'm spelling his name right, is IK's creator and Father as an angel) but I refuse. I refuse.

3. *True* dad pairing. Solomon and Lucifer. Very weird in context to their relationship in the actual game/Jtta but Solomon in this AU has raised IK for x amount of years and possibly more closely falls into the Father category for IK. Possibly wouldn't work because Lucifer is religious figure turned angel in this AU so it can never be something official on the eyes of the Devildom masses (even if he fell I remember you mentioning that you doubted the demons would accept a fallen angel as King, would they accept a fallen angel as Queen?). Bonding over rascal IK and her antics with the brothers, Lucifer soon becomes the poster angel of angel-demon exchange program. Briefly thought if Solomon may have tried and failed to tempt Lucifer when the angel was a man but not sure. Could be a Thing where Lucifer's pride was not his downfall (at that moment) because his belief in his flock and brothers kept the tempting Solomon at bay. But also not the point of these thoughts so.

Sorry for the brain rot especially when you aren't on this AU specifically and there are other pairings besides Zhaolu I know but. Yeah.

Hi and have a nice day. Don't forget to hydrate.

okay this is not meant to be the takeaway, but i love the common thread that having a dadly connection to ik is enough to link a pair up

so re: scenario 1 - the swap goes human -> demon, ik is specifically demon-who's-a-fallen-angel, so technically zhao would be a demon - but if he just falls later in the timeline, this still fulfills the condition. though diavolo would have to have a really good reason to do that - which is assuming he hasn't straight-up banned exile as a punishment

(also, slight tangent, i gave myself this idea by saying "fulfill the condition": consider that this is an au within the universe itself. as in, this is an alternative timeline that is connected to the jtta one, in the same vein as all the universes in everything everywhere all at once or the spiderverse movies. idk where i'm going with this but the idea of some higher cosmic being playing dolls with these characters, making them suffer to fill some kind of story quota... which i'm now realising is basically just what we do every time we invent an au whoops. think the special ending(s) in pathologic)

actually this made me think of something: given sonno's very overbearing rule in all universes, i wonder if in this version of the celestial realm, the regular angels don't actually know that dissenters get exiled and fall, they straight up think they just die

i imagine diavolo knows from early on, and part of the reason it takes him so long to get the yikes and rebel is because his dad convinces him that exile is the kinder option over actual execution, so it's only once he's forced to banish a harmless fledgling that he fully registers that hey this is fucked up

re: scenario 2 - sonno and lucifer is so insane a concept, not least because it 1. could make lucifer diavolo's stepfather, and 2. in this au, could also make diavolo ik's stepbrother - and for these reasons it is so fucking funny (sonno is dead by the present of this au, but his remnants could always come back as the Big Bad of the whole story)

i feel like whatever solomon and lucifer have going on in scenario 3 could be this au's equivalent of solomon's constant "pact? pact?pact? pact? pact?¿", but solomon starts doing more of a "diplomatic partnership?diplomatic partnership?¿" thing sbjhdfbs

(also i know the 'least horrible' metric is probably in relation to the insanity of sonno/lucifer - but the way the precedent is set + order the scenarios are given in makes it sound like solomon/lucifer is the most horrible option lol)