#but currently living at moment as a dull of love person

[nthflower]

I love everybody if they are nice actually. I love kind words it's makes me so happy. Like I can have prejudice and distaste from distance but if this person comes and says me something nice then all of it just gone. I love you now you don't need to do anything more. I can't show it of course but whatever. But I love loving people. Being hater is not fun actually. Or being toxic. I love being nice I love making people happy I love being helpful. But not in toxic positivity way or in a insincere way just natural sincerely kindness and love.

In my positivity era. ❤️

[seongsgirl]

— your girl.

; no smut in this, but my blog is nsfw, so please, mdni.

— I dedicate this work to @starryjake <3 me and jake love you so much.

You laid flat on your bed, eyes fixated on the tiny glow in the dark stars that you insisted that Jake help you stick to your ceiling. They glew dimly in the dark, not getting enough sunlight during the day to make the glow to their full capacity; it didn’t help that you had the curtains drawn closed all day. 

The room was dark, not feeling like getting up to turn the light on and opting to sit in the dark, the only light coming from the sticky stars and the little sliver of light peeking through the crack in your doorframe that shone from the hallway. 

You sighed softly and turned to your side, eyes landing on the framed picture of you and Jake on your desk. He was slightly crouched and your chin rested on top of his head, both of you adorning the cheesiest smiles you have ever wore. Jake’s glasses were slightly crooked and his cheeks were tinted red, much like yours. 

The photo was taken during some event that was happening on campus a little under six months ago. It was one of the happiest moments of your life and you silently thank Jungwon daily for capturing that moment perfectly. 

Then again, any moment you spent with Jake was a happy one. He knew just what to say every time you needed reassurance, knew the perfect remedies for a broken heart when Heeseung left you with one. He knew things about you that you didn’t even know about yourself, he knew everything and more. 

Jake was essentially everything you have ever dreamed about, the person you always dreamed of being with. And you were with him, but not in the way you truly wanted. He was just your best friend and roommate, nothing more, nothing less.

And that made falling in love with him even harder to deal with.

You sighed again and rolled over to your back again, looking at the stars. They began to dim even more, losing their charge as the night progressed. It reminded you a lot of yourself and your current state. You were so bright, so full of energy and ready to show the world what you are capable of. But something shifted within the last few months, and your spark was dulling. Nothing quite felt the same anymore, and you didn’t know what was changing, but something was.

Maybe it was the unrequited love and stress of masking it for so long.

You took a deep breath before looking over at your desk again, searching for your desk clock. The digital clock read nine-thirty and you mentally prepared to see Jake any second now. It was a Saturday night, your usual night to spend with Jake in the living room, a movie on the television and snacks and drinks littering the coffee table as you both caught up with each other from the events that occurred over the week. But you really couldn’t be bothered to partake in the weekly ritual tonight. 

Almost like clockwork, you hear a faint knock on your door and a familiar voice saying your name. You didn’t respond.

There was another quiet knock before the door slowly creaked open. The hallway light shone brightly in your bedroom and burned your eyes, groaning as you clamped them shut. 

“Y/n?” Jake says slowly, as if he’s scared. You slowly open your eyes and look at the boy standing in your doorframe, his head tilted like a puppy. 

“Sorry, Jake.” you started, a puzzling look taking over the boy’s face. “I don’t think I’ll do movie night tonight.” you mumbled.

Jake took a couple cautious steps into your room. It wasn’t like you to skip movie night, in fact, you’ve never skipped one in the entire two and a half years that you two lived together. Jake licked his bottom lip before speaking. “Is everything…are you okay?”

You chuckled. “Not really.”

You could practically hear Jake’s heart shatter in his chest. There you were, his best friend in the entire universe, laying in a dark room while blankly staring at the ceiling and he had no idea you weren’t okay. 

You heard Jake take in a breath before shuffling through your room and sitting on the foot of your bed, your head close to his thigh. You looked over at him to see him already looking down at you. His hair was scruffy and he had his glasses on, really bringing together his nerdy boy image. His eyes were full of worry, yours full of nothing. 

And you both sat there, looking into each other’s eyes in silence for a moment before you turned your attention back to the now dim star stickers. 

“What do you do when you love someone, but they don’t love you back?” you said abruptly, breaking the silence.

Jake looked back over at you, eyes slightly wide. “Huh?”

A sad smile crept onto your lips. “You know what I’m talking about, Jake.” you turned back to him, “When you feel like you can’t love someone even more than you already do, but you know that those feelings aren’t reciprocated. How does someone get closure with something like that?”

Jake’s eyes turned glossy, and his lips scrunched to one side of his face. “I-I don’t know…” he said softly. “I wish I did, because I know exactly how you’re feeling.” Jake put a soft hand on yours that rested on your stomach. 

You sighed. “It hurts, knowing that he’s exactly who I always dreamed about but knowing that he’ll never love me the way I do with him.”

“Do I know him?” Jake asked.

Your lips fell into a straight line. “Yeah, you do.”

Jake hums, acknowledging your response. “Well, I hope he finally sees what’s in front of him and stops being stupid.”

You chuckle softly. “I hope your girl realizes that, too.” and silence falls upon you both again. 

Minutes feel like hours and years before you speak again. 

“Jake,” you mumbled, not letting your vision stray from the stars, but you see Jake shift to look at you in your peripheral. “That’s his name.”

You hear Jake’s breath catch in his throat and you feel your eyes glaze with tears, a single one slipping out and falling down your face. 

“Y/n…” Jake whispers, taking his thumb and wiping away the stray tear. “That’s her name.”

And suddenly the ever growing pit in your stomach doesn't feel as big.

You look over at Jake, and he’s still looking at you. You sit up and come face to face with him. Jake’s hands come up to your cheeks, holding your face gently, and you melt into his touch. 

“I’m sorry I never told you…” Jake whispers, your noses brushing and foreheads pressed together. “Me too,” you reply, your lips ghosting over his. 

“I’ve always wanted you to be my girl. From the day I met you, I knew I had to do whatever it took to get you.” his thumb brushed your cheek.

“Jake,” you press your lips to his softly and you feel him immediately melt into the kiss. You broke away and looked at him with a soft smile. 

“I’ve always been your girl.”

[literatureloverx]

this might sound odd or silly but i have always thought that a person’s sleeping position tells a lot about them - and since you’re very good with fedya and have a good grasp of his character i’ve been wondering; how do you think him and his darling sleep? does he let you cuddle up to him? does he spoon you? does he prefer keeping his space? or does he want to feel his darling close even during sleep?

Wow, such a thrilling request. ♥️

I made this for all the BSD men I’m currently writing for because I could already sense the requests that would come in if I only wrote for Fedya…

So, enjoy, my dear. ♥️

some BSD men being big babies (Dazai), some suggestive undertones, fluff.

BSD MEN x sleeping positions with their darlings

Fyodor Dostoevsky

I can totally see him as the dominant, protective type of big spoon.

He’d hold you close, his beloved princess, with his arms wrapped around you, burying his nose into your fresh-scented hair and neck.

The sound of your steady breathing would be so adorable and soothing to him.

He doesn’t sleep much, but when he does, he loves doing it with you.

He always feels more refreshed sleeping by your side than alone.

Having never been used to a clear routine, his cold heart warms at the sense of peace and consistency he finds with you—sleeping together being one of those cherished moments.

I don’t see him being strictly against cuddles, but he definitely likes to be in control of the situation and values his personal space.

That’s why he prefers being the big spoon—it gives him a sense of comfort and control. It would also be more comfortable for him if you didn’t overwhelm him with cuddles, allowing him to initiate physical affection on his terms.

He’s a very quiet and still sleeper, preferring when you stay in your place, right where you belong, close to him.

Dazai Osamu

Dazai is the kind of man who GLOWS under your affection, radiating a feeling that might even come close to a will to live—or maybe not.

If you want to cuddle him, he’s all in, making the most adorable and exaggerated noises when you shower him with love before bed.

Most of the time, I see him as the little spoon, soaking up your warmth.

But when the day—or Dazai—has exhausted you, he’d switch to being the big spoon, extra clingy, hugging you from behind (especially if you’re trying to escape his endless affection).

Then there are those days... when he trusts you more deeply, when his heart aches silently, when his depression weighs on him.

When he’s afraid but doesn’t show it, feeling empty, but you’re the one keeping that emptiness at bay.

On those nights, he’d want to face you, watching you intensely as you sleep, making sure you won’t disappear like Odasaku did.

He’d stay awake all night, keeping an eye on you, unable to rest until you wake up and coax him into sleep with melatonin spray and soft, loving kisses.

Nakahara Chuuya

Chuuya loves holding you close, but what he loves even more is feeling like your big, tall, strong man.

He still makes you feel completely protected.

That’s why he’d either be the big spoon or have you sleep on his chest, the latter being more likely.

His strong arms would wrap around you possessively while your head rests on his chest, moving gently with each breath. He adores watching you fall asleep and only rests after seeing you completely relaxed. He’s entirely captivated by you, loving every second.

When spooning, his face is buried in your neck, breathing in your scent with possessive tenderness.

Occasionally, he might nip or kiss your neck, not to tease but simply because he can’t resist the urge.

He sleeps quietly, barely moving, and keeps the AC on just so you cling to him more—he loves every bit of it.

He’s all in for you, and in private, you have free rein to do whatever you like; he's always happy to be close to you.

Nikolai Gogol

Nikolai thrives on surprises and excitement, making sleep a challenge when he’s around.

He finds sleeping dull and would rather engage in playful antics with you.

When you lie down, expect a mischievous smirk on his face as he tries to keep you awake with jokes, riddles, and philosophical debates.

His presence will be impossible to ignore—whether he's spooning you or not, your legs will always be intertwined.

He’ll roll around in bed, pulling you close and protesting dramatically if you try to move away.

Nikolai’s antics ensure that you can't escape his playful demands.

Just give in to his whims and enjoy the playful chaos, and maybe he’ll eventually get bored and let you sleep.

Akutaga Ryuunosuke

He is distant, even when he wishes that he could be less stiff at your side.

He sleeps motionless, without cuddling you, spooning you, or doing anything else. He just lies there, staring at the ceiling.

If you wish to cuddle him, I see him being totally okay with that because you’re in private, in your shared bed, and he actually does love it—he’s simply not good at voicing his true feelings.

He loves it when you cuddle him and spoon him without him having to ask or face you while you’re sleeping.

He won’t tell you that, but it won’t change the fact that he prefers sleeping with you rather than by himself.

[chimcess]

⮞ Teaser Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Other Tags: Hockey Player!Jungkook, Figure Skater!Reader, Hockey Player!Taehyung, Hockey Player!Jimin, Coach!Yoongi, Hockey Player!Namjoon, Hockey Player!Hoseok, Figure Skater!Jin, Genre: Hockey!AU, Figure Skating!AU, Olympic!AU, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Self-Discovery, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn Drop Date: 01/20/2025 Summary: Y/N Y/L/N has always been destined for greatness as a competitive figure skater, her dreams of the Olympics sparkling like the ice beneath her blades. But when a devastating injury sidelines her, those dreams seem to melt away. Just when she feels lost, she unexpectedly meets Jeon Jungkook, a talented NHL hockey player.

I never used to think about what came after. Why would I? It felt pointless, like trying to guess the end of a novel when you’re still tangled in the middle. Every chapter rushing by, barely letting you catch your breath. Sometimes, life dangled a dream so vivid, so close, you could almost feel it in your hands. But right when you thought you had it? That’s when life reminded you—pages stop turning. Lights flick off. And suddenly, you’re back in the grind, stuck right where you started.

Normal? No chance. I wouldn’t recognize normal if it jumped out of the shadows and hit me. Normal was for people who punched clocks and sipped lukewarm coffee in beige cubicles. My mornings started when the world was still dark—lacing up my skates, the cold air biting at my face. Stretch until the pain dulled, practice until my routines were burned into my mind like a broken record. The rink smelled like sweat, frost, and desperation, clinging to me as I chased that perfect moment, day in and day out.

That was my life. Until it wasn’t.

From the moment I took my first steps, the ice had been my escape. My personal sanctuary. Each time my skates touched the frozen surface, electricity sparked through me, alive in my bones. My mom, Emily, she saw it first. She recognized that fire in me and latched on, pulling me headfirst into the competitive skating world. She wasn’t just supportive—she was relentless, like a storm barreling down on me, pushing me to be perfect. To her, maybe that was all that mattered.

People whispered behind her back, saying she was living vicariously through me, chasing dreams she’d lost. But I didn’t resent her for it. Her ambition, fierce and all-consuming, burned like a fire. It kept me warm—even when it scorched me. It wasn’t the trophies or the standing ovations that drove me. It was the ice itself. Out there, I wasn’t just a name on a roster. I was free.

Emily had been a skater once, too. But life, cruel and chaotic, had other plans. Her dreams fizzled out, lost somewhere between time and circumstance. When she got pregnant with me, she married my dad, Jim, and watched her ambitions wither like dead leaves. Year by year, regret settled in, until all she had left was me—and the ice. I became her second chance.

She met Jim when she was still a bright-eyed girl in a small town, dreaming big. He came to Michigan for police training; she was restless, yearning for more. They fell in love—or something close to it. Soon enough, I came along, and after a quick courthouse wedding, our lives unraveled. Emily and I left Michigan for Colorado, chasing skating dreams. Jim drifted back to Olympia, Washington, sinking into his routine like it was quicksand.

I became the bridge between them, constantly tugged between my dad’s predictable world and my mom’s fierce drive. Stability—something I longed for—was never in the cards. Emily hated Michigan, so we stayed away. Jim became less of a father and more of a ghost.

The crackle of the intercom yanked me from my thoughts. My knee throbbed, a bitter reminder.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. We’re starting our descent into Detroit, where it’s currently five-eighteen p.m., and a frigid fifteen degrees Fahrenheit. Please secure your belongings.”

Michigan. I was back, but it didn’t feel like home. It hadn’t for years. And yet, here I was. Family wasn’t a refuge—not with Jim. He felt more like a stranger now, a shadow of someone I used to know. The home we once had? Long gone.

Monday, I’d meet with Dr. Jeon. People swore he was the best, but deep down, I already knew none of it mattered. The moment my skate hit that rough patch of ice, when my body twisted and the world flipped upside down, I knew—my skating days were over.

I could still see it. The rink, bathed in soft afternoon light, the sound of *Swan Lake* floating through the air. I wasn’t competing that day, just skating for the sheer joy of it. Emily and my coach were in the bleachers, discussing my next routine. I built up speed, heading into a fan spiral, when it happened. My blade caught. My leg buckled. I hit the ice hard. Everything went dark.

The plane’s landing gear screeched, snapping me back to the present. My heart raced, the memory fading like smoke. As the plane stopped, passengers scrambled for their bags. I waited, letting them pass, before grabbing my things. The crutches in my hands were cold, unfamiliar. I used to glide effortlessly across the ice, and now, here I was—struggling just to stay upright on solid ground.

At baggage claim, I stared at the mountain of luggage, feeling the weight of it all sink in. How was I supposed to manage with no free hands?

“You need a hand?”

The voice startled me. I turned and saw him—tall, with warm brown eyes that somehow felt like they saw right through me. Before I could respond, someone bumped into me, and my crutch clattered to the floor. I wobbled, reaching out to steady myself, but he was faster. He caught me.

For a moment, the noise, the crowd, everything blurred. It was just us, frozen in time.

“You alright?” His voice was soft, steady, his hands still gripping my arms. I nodded, heat flushing my face as I pulled away.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” I muttered. He bent down, picking up my crutch. As he handed it back, his eyes lingered on me, not with pity, but with something else. Understanding, maybe.

“No problem.” His smile was easy, casual, but there was something behind it, like he had more to say.

Around us, life resumed its frantic pace—people rushing by, voices bouncing off the airport’s high ceilings. But for just a second longer, it was still only us.

“Need help with your bags?” he asked, glancing at the heap of luggage. 

I hesitated, my pride prickling. “I’ve got it,” I said, even though I clearly didn’t. My knee throbbed in protest.

He didn’t push. Just smiled, unbothered, and shrugged. “Alright. But it’s no trouble if you change your mind.”

As I shifted my weight, feeling the twinge in my leg, I sighed. “Okay, yeah, I could use some help.” The words tasted like defeat, but he didn’t seem to notice.

He easily grabbed my suitcase, balancing my smaller bag on top. I clung to my messenger bag, determined to carry something myself.

"Is someone picking you up?" he asked as we walked toward the sliding glass doors, the cold Michigan air sneaking in like a thief in the night.

"No, I'll just grab a cab," I said, weaving through the crowd. His presence next to me felt steady, comforting, like a life raft I didn’t even know I needed. 

“I’ve got my car in the overnight lot,” he offered casually, like it was no big deal. “I could give you a ride if you want.”

For a moment, I hesitated, caught off guard by the offer. “No, it’s okay,” I said, almost too quickly. “A cab’s fine.” But something shifted in his face—just for a second. Disappointment? Or was that just my imagination?

We stepped outside, and the cold hit me like a slap, sharp and biting. I cursed under my breath for not grabbing my gloves. 

He noticed, his lips quirking up in a knowing smile. “Forgot what Michigan feels like in January?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, pulling my coat tighter. “Something like that.” I should’ve been used to it by now. I grew up on ice, for God’s sake. But standing there in the freezing wind felt different, like the cold wasn’t just outside—it was creeping inside me, gnawing at the edges of something deeper.

“So, where were you before this?” he asked, his curiosity genuine, his breath hanging in the air like smoke.

“Nevada. Before that, Colorado. We moved around a lot.” I don’t even know why I was telling him this. I didn’t even know his name.

“We?” He raised an eyebrow, the question soft, but pointed.

“Me and my mom,” I said, my voice quieter now. “She’s never been one to stay put. Wherever she went, I followed.”

He nodded, like he understood more than he should. “A modern-day nomad. Sounds... exhausting.”

I let out a small laugh, more out of habit than anything else. “Yeah, it can be.” But there was something easy about him, something that made this whole conversation feel less strange, less fleeting.

“You staying here for a while?” he asked, his dark eyes locking with mine, the cold forgotten for a moment.

“For the foreseeable future,” I replied, surprising myself with how easily the words slipped out.

“Good to know.” His voice softened, like he was letting me in on some secret only we shared. That crooked smile crept back, and I felt my pulse quicken again. He had no idea what he was doing to me.

I bit my lip, trying to steady the rush of nerves rising in my chest. What was I even doing? Standing here, flirting with a stranger in the dead of winter? This wasn’t real life—it was the stuff of daydreams. But somehow, with him, it felt real. Almost too real.

“Maybe I’ll see you around,” he said, his hand lifting to ruffle his hair again. The messy strands fell back into place like he didn’t care—like he knew exactly how disheveled he looked and leaned into it.

“Yeah, maybe,” I said, though I wasn’t sure I believed it. The airport, the cold wind—it all seemed to fade away, leaving just us in this strange, fleeting moment.

“You live nearby?” I asked, even though I knew I should’ve been hopping into a cab by now, getting out of this freezing wind and back to whatever was left of my life.

“Detroit,” he said, his breath fogging in the air like a ghost of something lost.

“Me too,” I said, a little too quickly. “Just moved there, actually.”

“Downtown?” He asked it casually, but his eyes were sharp, as if my answer might mean more than I realized.

“Royal Oak,” I said, nodding. “The old houses there... they’re beautiful.”

“They are,” he agreed, and there was something in the way he said it, like he was noticing things I didn’t even realize I was showing. His gaze flicked between my eyes and my lips, and for a moment, the air between us stretched thin, a fragile thread pulling us closer until a sharp gust of wind snapped it, jolting me back to reality.

"Welcome to Michigan," he said with a laugh, his voice warm against the icy air. Without warning, he reached down and took my bare hands in his. The warmth of his touch jolted through me, electric, racing straight to my core. For a second, I swore the ground shifted beneath us. Something unspoken buzzed between our hands.

“We should get you a cab,” he said, glancing down at my frozen fingers, his expression softening with concern. “You’re not exactly dressed for this weather.”

"Yeah, I probably should’ve planned better,” I admitted with a laugh, still caught up in the warmth of his hands, the way they made everything else feel just a little less cold. 

He waved down a cab with the ease of someone who’s done it a hundred times. I watched him as he loaded my bags into the trunk, every movement feeling like a countdown. And then, when he opened the passenger door for me, I hesitated. I stood at the edge of that moment, torn between the part of me that wanted to leave and the part that wanted to stay, just a little longer.

“Thanks for the help,” I said, looking up at him, my heart thudding hard in my chest.

“Jungkook,” he said, his voice soft, that crooked smile still tugging at his lips. “I’m Jungkook.”

“Y/N,” I replied, the name slipping out of my mouth so naturally it felt like it was meant for him, like it was always supposed to be said here, in this cold, surreal moment.

“Y/N,” he repeated, like he was testing it on his tongue, like it was something fragile and precious. He leaned in just a little, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"Y/N?" His hand hovered near my shoulder, his voice even quieter now, almost as if he was about to share a secret meant only for me.

And suddenly, the world around us—everything—fell away. The cold, the noise, the blur of people rushing past. It was just him, standing there with that crooked grin, making me wonder if maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t the end of whatever this was.

“Yeah, Jungkook?” I asked, my breath catching, anticipation curling low in my stomach.

“My friends and I... we hang out at this bar on Grand most Tuesdays. Billy’s?” He said it like a suggestion, but it felt like more. Like a bridge to whatever might come next. “Maybe I’ll see you there sometime?”

A thrill shot through me, quick and unexpected. This wasn’t just some random, fleeting connection. He wanted to see me again. “Yeah,” I stammered, my voice barely steady. “I could swing by. Once I’m settled in.”

“Great.” His whole face lit up, and it was like watching a door creak open, revealing something softer, something vulnerable underneath. "I’ll see you around then, Y/N." He stepped back, shut the door behind me with a quiet finality.

As the cab pulled away, I turned, craning for one last look. He waved, easy and casual, and I lifted my hand in return, my heart still racing. Part of me wanted to freeze this moment, hold onto it before it slipped away. But the cab turned the corner, and just like that, he was gone.

I slumped back in the seat, exhaustion settling in like a heavy weight. I rested my head against the cold window, letting the chill ground me. This wasn’t just some daydream—it was real. And yet, as the city lights blurred by, doubts started creeping in, shadows curling at the edges of my mind. Would I really show up at Billy’s? Or would I let this whole thing fade, convincing myself it was just a fluke? 

But then I thought about him—Jungkook. That crooked smile. And a small part of me couldn’t help but wonder... What if?

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[bumblebriez]

Love Stricken (PT.1)

(Gojo Satoru x Chubby!Fem!Reader)

(PT.2)

⚠️⚠️⚠️: Smutty smutty smut, Swearing. Drinking. Gojo in loooove

Never in a million years would you think, you'd catch the eyes of a certain jujutsu sorcerer but you did and with that came alot of consequences. That you would eventually find out the hard way.

Your parents vanished a good couple of years ago with no knowledge of why and where, leaving you; the eldest, to care and provide for your younger siblings. Being responsible and forgetting about the life you used to live, you felt lost. Struggling a lot with your self worth.

Your best friend took it upon herself to finally get you to live your life a little more by taking you out on the town for a night.

But you found that night was the start of your downfall.

I plan to turn this into a series eventually and this is also the first time I'm writing in a third person, so there could be a few mistakes not to mention the spelling and grammar might be a little baaad. I'll try to fix them when I can. I'm also not the greatest at writing descriptions.

********

********

"See? Didn't I tell you, you would have fun." Your best friend shouted over the loud booming club music and the noises of the on going clubbers.

You rolled your eyes slightly, head lightly bobbing to the music as you took a sip from the straw in your drink, vodka and cranberry was your drink of choice. It definitely wasn't your first but after the persistent nagging from your bestie to actually drink something alcoholic, you went with the safe one.

"Yeah I loved the fact that I already have a migraine!" You shouted back, eyes squinting from the bright strobe lights.

From the moment you walked in on the party scene, you felt like you were being watched, as soon as your foot hit the concrete floor. You couldn't pinpoint where or who but you could feel their glaze burn holes into you, perhaps it was just the swarm that surrounded you, you couldn't tell.

"You are so dull now! You use to love going out!" You watched as Zariah downed the two shots she had ordered for herself, deciding it'll be better to not delay the inevitable.

"That was before I had kids to look after." She pouted slightly, her hand gripping your shoulder, moving closer to your ear.

"That's why you need to enjoy yourself tonight! Get fucked up, maybe even get fucked? Hmmm~" you shake your head, giggling nervously slightly at the continuous pressure. It was her plan all along. Getting you out there, finding a short distraction from what you were dealing with currently.

You twirled your straw around in your drink, pushing the Ice to the different sides of the glass.

"Stop thinking about them. They will be fine! Rast will be taking great care of them! He wants you to enjoy your night too."

Truth is.. Ever since your parents disappeared, leaving no trace behind except other children they forgot about for you to look after; to become their legal guardian. You have not had much time to yourself.

The years started to flicker by and the realisation started to set in that this was your life now. Your parents were not coming back. They were your kids now. It's a hard pill to swallow and frankly not one you were interested in but what else could you do? You felt obligated to care and provide for your siblings.

The more you worried about your siblings, the more you lost yourself. Your confidence had plummeted and your self image was shattered. Though you wouldn't let anyone know. The looks those skinny tan gorgeous girls would give you as you passed them on the street, did not go unnoticed.

The small remarks guys would leave you to ponder over, never far from your mind.

The comments you received from a previous ex, picking at your self esteem, your self confidence; resided in your core constantly.

You'd never show them that it affected you. You held your head high, trying to fake the confidence you once had.

But when you get home, it was a different story. In the privacy of your own bedroom was when the waterworks started. The constant peering in the mirror, pointing out all the differences between you and other girls. Comparing yourself and wishing for things that were in your eyes imperfections, just to go away.

You were happy alone. At least that's what you told yourself. You didn't need a guy. Especially when you looked like you.

Maybe sometimes you're too hard on yourself. Maybe.

"I don't mean to weird you out but that gooorgeous man has been eyeing you for ages." Zariah broke you out of your zoning, pointing slightly in the direction behind you.

"Consider me weirded out. Don't be silly. You mean eyeing you?" You didn't even bothered turning around to follow, he clearly wasn't looking at you. Maybe at someone who was further down the bar. If not your gorgeous best friend.

You can't seem to help yourself though, your eyes peek around before you could even react, a quick subtle peek.

You flick over the crowd of different people, trying to find the guy your best friend was talking about, until your eyes finally land on who you were looking for.

She wasn't lying.

He was *chefs kiss*

And he was already looking at you.

You couldn't see his eyes since they were hiding behind a pair of low sunglasses. His hair was almost pure white, reflecting off the neon lights that scattered around the room.

A white button up shirt with the a few of the buttons undone, sleeves pushed up to his elbows; drink resting in his longer slender fingers.

Your eyes widen as he tipped his glass at you, a devilish grin resting on his lips.

You quickly faced your best friend returning to raised eyebrows and a cheeky smirk.

"Don't even say anything." You growled, feeling almost foolish that a man of that pristine stature could be even interested in something like you.

Zariah held her hands up in defence "I wasn't gonna but he is fine." She took a slow gulp from her drink, eyes avoiding my glaze.

"You have a boyfriend." You watched her roll her eyes at you, placing her cup back down on the harden wood. "I can still appreciate a good looking guy or a girl for that matter." Her eyebrows wiggled aggressively causing you to sigh dramatically, resting your elbow on the bar; chin resting in the palm of your hand.

Just as you were about to take another sip of your drink, Zariah's eyes widen slightly before spinning around in her chair facing away from you; back in full view.

Before you could even ask what her problem was, you felt a presence appear behind you; them looming over you.

"What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?" You stifled a chuckle that tried to escape your throat as you turned to face the new comer, realising it was the guy you were previously checking out. Allegedly.

He leant against the bar, resting on his elbow, his full attention and glaze set on your form. That devilish grin still resting on his lips. Making you feel almost uneasy. Under pressure almost.

"Wow. How many girls have you used that one liner on?"

He tilted his head slightly, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, his eyes peering from behind them. They were stunning. The brightest blue you had ever seen. It was reflecting an ocean. Unnaturally glistening, the specks of colour flowing like a river. Maybe it was just the lightning or maybe you are already tipsy from one drink.

"Was waiting to use it on the right girl." You hummed before taking a sip from your straw, fingers pressed tightly at the tip, your eyes never leaving his as you look at him with doe eyes.

"How charming of you." You smirked moving the empty glass away from you.

"I'm Satoru Gojo but you can call me Satoru. What about you gorgeous?" He pressed with a light flick of his head, his tongue wetting his lips.

"Just Y/n." You felt a slight heat starting to form within your face, this Satoru was clearly flirting with you and you had no idea how to take it. This felt a little be overwhelming for you. He was drop dead handsome and he was showing some sort of interest in you.

"Well 'Just Y/n' can I buy you another drink?" You don't say anything as you look down at your empty glass before giving a nod.

You both sit there for a couple moments more, just small talking as you take your time sipping away at your drink. A laugh here and a giggle there as Satoru throws a joke your way; slowly opening you up, allowing you to get comfortable in his presence. Completely forgetting you did not come here by yourself.

Gojo quickly downs the rest of his drink before his eyes fall on you once more "Do you wanna dance?"

Your breathing hitched slightly at the invitation, Satoru was already moving before you could even respond, pulling you by your hand through the crowds and on to the dance floor.

He placed your hand on his shoulder, placing his own large hands on your hips, guiding them to the rhythm of the music. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, chest pressing against chest.

A small sweet smile made its way to your lips as you stare up at the much taller man through your eyelashes.

You started to feel a bit exposed, your eyes moved around the room, briefly looking at all the different couples that surrounded the two of you. You caught a few glimpses of a cluster of girls that weren't that far from you, noises scrunched up at you, giggling as they spoke to each other, watching you with envy. It was frankly very uncomfortable.

Fed up with the looks, you pulled back from Satoru abruptly "I'm sorry, I can't-." You muttered more to yourself than him.

But just as turned around, back facing the towering man, he grabs you by your wrist, pulling you back kind of aggressively into his chest.

Your ass press up against him, his hands resting on your hips, digging in slightly to hold you there.

"Don't think about them. Think about me." He whispered in your ear, sending cold shivers down your spine causing goosebumps all over your skin. A quiet gasp leaves your lips at the suggesting tone.

"Think about the way I'm pressed up against you." Our hips moved in a slow dance, his hands guiding me to grind against him.

"Think about the way my hands feel." Your eyes fluttered closed as one of his hands traced your prominent curves over the fabric of your dress, pulling it up slightly when he gets to your thighs, exposing some hidden skin.

"The way my lips feeling on your skin." His teeth grazed your ear lobe, moving to your neck to leave soft burning pecks on your skin, a very small whimper comes from you from the actions.

Your head lobbed back against his shoulder, allowing more access for him. Your skin was burning from the kisses. the touches.

You continue to grind against him, feeling more turned on by the minute. Especially hearing the shutters from his throat when you rub him the right way, making you uncontrollably wet.

"My god. You're intoxicating." He breathed out as he held you against him, tighter. His hand moving up your body, painfully slowly before gripping gently on to your neck, using a ringed finger to push your chin in his direction.

You let out a soft noise as your lips were in proximity of each other, you could feel the essence of where his lips need to be; hovering.

"Think about how our lips feel..." he press a soft peck on your lips before capturing your bottom lip in between his teeth. You couldn't help the noise that flowed out of you. This was so.. hot. He was hot. He was making you hot.

You leaned up to press your lips to his, nearly almost fed up with the teasing. Both of you move in sync with each other, Satoru's hand still holding your neck with no pressure. Keeping you aligned with him as your mouths explore each others; His rings leaving a cold sensation as they graze your skin.

"Wanna get out of here?" He mumbled against your lips, kissing you after each word. You smiled slightly as much as you could.

"Yes please Satoru." A slight groan came from the milky skinned man, pulling you even harder against him. "I'm loving hearing you say my name baby." A little giggle escaped your lips as he nuzzled his nose with yours.

As you both rushed through the bodies on bodies, you leave Satoru alone for just a minute while he ordered an Uber, leaving you to remember why you were here and who you were with.

"Damn. I mean damn. You better be coming over to tell me, you're going home with him." Zariah exclaimed already holding out your belongings as you made your way over to her with a bright smile on your face.

Without saying too much, you quickly lay a fresh kiss on her cheek "I'll see you tomorrow." Your best friend let out a squeal of excitement, watching your retreating form.

"Fucking finally. He better fuck her good." Zariah mumbled to herself before downing the rest of her drink. Accomplished her mission and ready to go home.

You and Satoru walk out of the club, fingers intertwined. Immediately spotting our ride. He leads you towards the SUV, opening the door open for you. Like a gentleman.

You express your appreciation before hoping in and moving over to the other side, mumbling a quick greeting to the driver.

Gojo closes the door behind him once he jumps in, scooting closer to you, not even bothering to put a seatbelt on; which the driver doesn't enforce either.

Frankly he wasn't all too bothered with keeping a conversation but that didn't seem to stop the man who was inviting you back to his.

"Had a busy night so far?" Gojo asked the driver as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, his other hand resting on your thigh.

You couldn't focus on both of the men conversing when Satoru hands was rubbing patterns into your skin, starting to go high and closer to where was needed to be touched. Teasing you.

You tried to control your breath, ignoring the neediness you were currently experiencing. You pressed a hand on his chest, coming to rest your head. Your eyes still stuck on his dangerous hand.

Your jaw clenched as his hand did in fact go higher, biting your lip as you feel his index finger press against the fabric of your panties; causing you to seize up.

Your eyes look to Satoru, witnessing a cheeky smirk resting on his lips as he continues to chat with the Uber driver. Feigning innocence.

Your eyes started to roll to the back of your head when he continued to rub at your clothed cunt. Your panties becoming wetter and wetter the more he pushed. You started to bite your finger knuckle to hold in any noises that might try to escape you.

You couldn't believe he would even try to do this right in the middle of this car ride, thankfully you were out of view. At least you hoped..

You started to bite harder when his finger pushed aside your panties and swiped at your slick folds, subconsciously you opened your legs wider for him. Scooting down so you were hanging off the seat.

The biting got harder when he plunged a finger past your walls, pumping in and out slowly. Curling in the right spot. His other hand was ghosting over the skin on your shoulders, causing you to shiver while being fingered in the backseat of this strangers truck.

"Ahh shit. Sorry guys. Just gotta make a quick stop. Didn't realise I was low on gas."

"No worries man. You do you." Gojo spoke up still pumping his finger into you, slightly picking up the pace but still managing to conceal you.

The very moment the man jumped out of the car, letting you guys know he'll only be a few minutes, Satoru turned to you, pushing your legs apart further "Two minutes, That's all I need."

You let out the moans you had been holding in, gripping on to his forearm as his pace became aggressive. Nothing you have felt with any man. He was hitting the right spot over and over again with his long fingers. One you honestly didn't think you had. If he kept at this, you were definitely going to cum. Which shocked you to your core.

"Who knew you were so dirty. Letting me do this to you at the chance of getting caught." He moan slightly, adding another finger to the mix. Curling up wards, pulling a quiet cry from you.

"Holy shit-" you whimpered as you felt electricity spreading throughout your body, his fingers felt so nice inside you. Gliding in and out of your wet pussy, the squelching noises were more prominent now.

"You're already so wet.. probably making a mess on these leather seats. I turn you on that much huh? God you're fucking hot." A deep growl erupted from his throat as his fingers continued to plunge deeper. Faster.

"You gonna cum? You gonna cum on these fingers? I want you too. Cum for me baby." Not only was the pleasure on a whole another level, the shock was too. How was it possible that this guy could very much bring you to the edge in five minutes? This was nothing you had ever experienced before and you are only just getting started.

You couldn't even form words, that's how bad the effect was, they only came out in moans and whines. You were nearly over the edge, stars were appearing in your vision. You squeezed harder on his forearm, nails digging deeper as you started your ascent.

"Oh fuck- I'm gonna- shit." You babbled out, your legs started to quiver as you felt yourself approaching the high, Satoru had brought you too only using his fingers.

"That's it baby. Cum all over these fingers, all over the seats." His words quite literally brought you to the edge, you felt your walls clenched around his fingers, starting to flail against him. He let out a low groan feeling you tighten around his fingers, his cock was becoming uncomfortable hard through his pants; just at the sight of you alone. The thought of you cumming on his cock. Squeezing him so nicely. Gojo was excited.

Excited to fuck the shit out of you.

Your mouth formed an O as you felt the orgasm wash over, leaving you a panting mess. You were left with no words. Completely and utterly stunned. You've never came so fast or so hard  in your life, not even by your fingers and certainly not by a man.

Satoru pressed a sweet kiss on your temple before pulling his fingers out, a small sob leaving your mouth at the bareness. He lifted his fingers to his mouth before eagerly sucking your juices off.

"Mmm. So sweet." You honestly thought you would cum again. This was so embarrassing to you. You were so hot and turned on. You honestly just wanted to fuck him right here and now, not even caring if the driver came back or not. You were becoming inpatient.

It seemed Satoru felt the same way, once he caught a glimpse of your dilated pupils, your face covered in need, he knew he was in for a long night. Satoru smirked dangerous before pressing his fingers up to your lips, not needing to wait too long when you didn't even hesitate to open, sucking contentedly on his fingers. Loving the feeling as your tongue twirled around them.

"Oh fuck-" Satoru shuttered with a slight roll of his eyes, you were something else.

Thank goodness for blacked out windows..

The driver came back, finally for what felt like hours to you, returning on the path to the destination in question.

You sat there completely dazed, thinking of what had just transpired. Trying to ignore your juices that were oozing out of you. While Satoru was whispering sweet nothings in your ear, his hand was lying in your lap and you were just playing with his fingers, his rings. The fingers that just made you have possibly the best orgasm of your life but you definitely knew that was going to change. Real quick.

But a thought couldn't help but sneak in and ruin your buzzed feeling.

How many girls has he made cum with these hands. Said the same shit too. You weren't special. You were just that, another girl to get his dick wet.

But you shouldn't care, this was only fun. This is only suppose to be a hook up. No matter if he made you feel like the only girl in the world for the night. He was good at was he does. He was good at making you feel good in more ways than physical.

The drive felt like hours, you felt like you were losing your mind as Satoru's hands were exploring your body. Trying to push aside the unsettling feeling when he brushed over your extra layers.

From the outside it seemed he didn't even care that you were a larger woman but what worried you was what he was thinking. Your head was full of intrusive thoughts.

Did he really find you attractive?

When he looked at you did he see something more?

Was he disgusted?

Was he regretting this and just being nice?

Far far out of your league.

Little did you know, Gojo Satoru found you absolutely beautiful. All six of his eyes spotted you as soon as you stepped foot in the establishment.

You were positively delicious.

He just had to have you.

And now he does. He couldn't be more happy.

"I can hear those cogs turning in that pretty head of yours." You looked towards Satoru, forcing a smile as he gently brushed his knuckle across your jaw. A small sweet smile resting on his lips; his face close to yours.

"You're really attractive." You simply said, taking in his features properly, getting a clearer picture. Away from all of bright and flashing lights.

His eyes were more sparkling than before, you found yourself looking away every now again, afraid you'd be put under a spell. Not that you'd would mind anyway..

His bone structure was out of this world, it's like he was sculpted by a god or maybe he was just a god.

He was uncomfortably ravishing.

"Mmm I get that a lot. I'm pretty hot. But you." Your eyes widen a little at his comment, not sure how to take it. His hand cupped your cheek, his eyes peering into yours.

"You are crazy fucking hot. That curvy body is going to be the death of me. I mean.. I'd die a happy man in between those thighs." You bite your bottom lip, completely speechless. This man was turning you to putty and no matter how much your body was trying to tell you he was lying. You knew deep down he meant every word.

You were shell shocked.

And unbelievably horny.

The wait was over, you had arrived at the destination. Your eyes glazed over the very large and lavish apartment complex. A completely different place to where you resided. A decently ran down 4 bedroom home that you were pretty positive was still full of mold, no matter how hard you cleaned.

Your mind immediately went into autopilot, as Satoru lead you out of the truck, muttering a quick 'thank you' to the Uber.

Satoru pulled you with him as you both stride towards the entrance, your fingers intertwined. He lead you into the lobby, towards one of the many elevators and as soon as those doors closed. As soon as he had pressed the button, you were pressed up against the glass wall. Your leg hanging loosely over his hip, hand placed securely behind your knee.

"Satoru.. they have cameras.." you whispered as he placed sloppy kisses along your neck.

"Mmm say my name again." He grumbled against your skin, having no care in the world for your protests. The only care was to hear you scream his name, no matter where you both are.

"Satoru stooop, we can't. Not here." You giggled a little as he ran his nose over your jugular. A smirk appeared on Satoru lips as he listened to your laugh.

He was compelled to hear it again and obviously since he was like the funniest person HE knew, it wouldn't be hard.

"But whyyy. You're too sweet. You taste like candy." He whined slightly pulling away to stare into your eyes, quite like staring into your soul. If it was anyone else, you probably would recoil, cringing.

Buuuut he was also kinda adorable. You thought.

You leaned forward pressing a sweet peck on his lips, Satoru dropping your leg, allowing you to correct your posture.

"I do not." You giggled yet again, pressing your hands against his chest, moving them up and down his torso.

"Do too. I can't wait to gobble you up." He pressed, your giggle pierced his ears again, causing his smile to brighten as he stared down at you, basically inhaling your beauty.

"You've got such a way with words." You sarcastically say as you give him a playful eye roll, trying to push him back slightly but to no avail, he stood strong.

"That's not the only thing, Baby." And god did you believe him.

You jump once you hear the ding of the elevator, realising you are so close to getting the life fucked out of you and that put a bounce in your step. You were nearly stepping on the backs of Satoru heels as the both of you wonder down the halls.

Your breathing started to pick up, feeling almost inpatient. You couldn't even blame it on the alcohol because realistically you only had two, you were definitely drunk on something else and you'd only experienced it briefly.

You watched as Satoru's long slender fingers, played with his keys; trying to find the right one.

And as soon as that door was opened, you couldn't even process how fast you were inside, immediately locking lips.

Satoru kicked the door shut with his foot, his hands never leaving you as he pushed his tongue past your lips. You let out a low moan as your tongues started to dance with each other.

The kiss was sloppy and ferocious. You didn't believe when people talked about sparks but in that moment, you started to believe. He left your lips tingling, nothing you've felt before. It sent waves of pleasure throughout your body. Your pussy aching, needing for this man.

You were nearly tripping over each other, bumping into things, lips never leaving each others as you both made your way through the apartment. Letting out a low whimper when your back hit the soft mattress, spreading your legs to allow Satoru to press himself against you.

"I'm fucking you. No more playing. I need to feel you around me." Satoru growled against your lips, before resuming sticking his tongue down your throat.

His hands left you, reaching down to work at his belt, he was quick and efficient, pushing his pants down his legs with one hand.

He broke from you, pushing up your dress past your hips and literally ripping off your panties, exposing your wet and dripping cunt. You'd worry about your panties later.

Satoru let out a low groan seeing you now bare beneath him, your pussy glistening for him. And only him.

You were his for tonight and he was going to rock you until you were cumming for him.

He didn't dare waste anymore time, aligning himself up at your entrance, his head bowed to watched himself push against your pussy, a moan leaving him when he felt how wet you really were, he could just slide in and you'd take him perfectly.

But he knew better, you'd need to adjust.

You were a moaning mess already, grabbing at him, bucking your hips against the ghosting tip of his cock, it was too dark to see have big he was but you soon found out as he pushed himself in.

"Fuck." He let out a staggering breath as he felt the beginning of your tight walls, you let out a sharp gasp as you take him, your fingers digging into his shoulders. The pain was real. He was huge.

You felt the pop as he finally pushed past your boundaries, a synced moan coming from both parties. Satoru moved his hips slowly, his fingers digging into his expensive sheets; restraining himself.

You were mewing lowly as he pumped into you, grateful he was allowing you to adjust to his size.

The more he felt himself able to go further without any resistance, the more he sped up.

"You feel amazing." He huffed out, rocking his hips in a steady pace. Your eyes fluttered as moans flowed effortlessly from your mouth. His cock was rubbing against your walls in just the right way. Tickling that itch you never knew you truly needed.

But you were becoming even more impatient, you wanted him to use you. You knew he was holding back and you wanted him to show you just how much.

Your hand moved up into his hair, gripping at the roots "I want you all. Don't hold back. Please Satoru."

At just the moan of his name, sent him. Before you knew it, both of his hands gripped your hips aggressively, slamming into yours.

You cried out loudly as he repeatedly did it again and again. Fucking his cock into you, hitting right into your cervix. You gripped desperately onto his forearms as he continued to plow into you; bouncing at every thrust.

You squeezed Satoru better than he imagined, you would. He stared down at your form with hunger, watching you arch your back, your beautiful mouth letting out cries of pleasures from his cock. You were taking him so well. He wanted you to scream for him.

"God. You look so good taking my cock. Taking me so well." He purred, placing a hand on the pudge of your stomach, pressing down firmly. He wished he had taken off your dress so he could see your beautiful tits bouncing from every time he fucked his cock into you.

"Satoru! Fuck. Holy shit-" You cried out, throwing your head back against the mattress, arching your back even more.

"Keep saying my name baby. Just like that." He leaned down, resting on his forearm just above your head, not before using his other hand to push one of your legs up, allowing him more access to your addicting cunt.

"AAHH fuck! Satoru!" You screamed out, feeling your body start to shake from the continuous pounding. His cock deeper inside from the new position.

"Fuck yeah. Holy fuck. You're so beautifult." He groaned, your little noises were music to his ears, his fingers digging deeper into your supple skin and you knew it would definitely leave marks.

Your lips crashed against his, teeth clashing together. Satoru swallowing each cry and moan that would try to escape.

"You gonna cum for me? You gonna cum on my cock?" He moaned in your ear, followed by hallowed panting as he pounded into you. You couldn't rely on forming any words, they were just coming out as sobs and cries. You were putty underneath him, no one has EVER fucked you this good before. You were on cloud nine.

And just as you thought it couldn't get any better, you started to feel the familiar build up. You were close. You felt like you were going to explode from the pleasure as it flowed through your body, you couldn't even warn Satoru before you released around his cock, screaming out in pure bliss as you felt yourself gush over him.

Satoru quickly pulled out and watched as you released a great quantity of liquid. Your legs shaking from the overbearing orgasm that shook your core.

He let out a breathless chuckle, realising you. HE had just made you squirt, all over him.

Your hands trembled as you brought them to your mouth, trying to control your breathing.

"Oh god. I'm sorry." You were shocked that you could even squirt and this man had not only brought you to a full penetration orgasm but he made you squirt.

"Hah Sorry? No. That was fucking hot. So hot. fuck." Satoru's breathing became heavier, his pupils dilated as he watched your trembling form, without anymore words, he slammed back into you, pulling a louder cry from you. Having seen you squirt on his cock, brought him closer to his own climax.

His thrusts were becoming sloppier and more desperate as he chased his own high. You were completely dazed, stars in your vision. Being fucked harder into the mattress. An uncontrollable moaning mess.

You tugged at his hair, yanking his head back slightly "Cum in me. I want it."

He couldn't believe his ears, as if you could get anymore sexier.

"You want it. You want my hot load inside your juicy pussy?" Your hands travelled down his back, leaving long and deep scratches, marking him red.

"Satoru- please. Cum. Please. I want it. I want you." He growled from the stinging sensation and from your voice. He was so close. So close.

"Anything for you, baby." He angled his hips and thrusted harder, until he felt it. He shoved his face into the crook of your neck as he felt his own orgasm approaching, his cum shot straight into you, causing a guttural cry from your throat as you feel it coat your walls. Satoru pumped into you until he was dry, slowing to a stop. A complete panting mess above you.

You were trying hard to catch your own breath as he lowered himself onto you, carefully trying not to crush you.

Your hand brushed through his pure white strands, as you both laid there together, in pure bliss. Panting excessively.

Satoru sat up slightly to place a sweet kiss on your lips, you of course accepted happily. He hummed softly before resting his face on your tits.

"I've never squirted before." You panted out, your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You felt embarrassed, more so for the fact you had made a mess but you also felt bewildered. You didn't think you could and you didn't think that any man could pull an orgasm out of you, let alone two, It started you thinking. How many could he make you have?

Every boyfriend you've had, NEVER made you feel like how this man did here. They were all so more selfish for their own desire than satisfying you. Even getting to the point where you would just roll over and let them have their way, sucking the enjoyment out of sex completely. Making it feel like a chore, so you wouldn't have to constantly hear their whines and moans about 'why you didn't want to fuck?'

Tsk.

"Never?" You shook your head lazily, feeling an overwhelming sense of drowsiness.

You felt him vibrate from the low chuckle he let out, his head lifting up to look you in the eyes "Well. I can't wait to make you do it again and again.." his voice was mumbled against your skin as he peppered you with wet kisses.

"And again." You felt Satoru cradle your ass cheeks, his fingers massaging intensely. Hoisting you up, angling himself up with your overstimulated cunt.

And here you thought you could sleep.

Nah. You're in for a long night.

[holylulusworld]

Beta in heart

Summary: You’ve got a secret.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Beta!Reader (fem)

Side pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega! Cassie Robinson

Warnings: angst, a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, lies, jealousy, unrequited feelings, Dean being an ass, rut

Now, … 

We all lie sometimes. Right? Little white lies to make the person next to you feel more comfortable, or to protect yourself.

In your case, it was the latter. 

Maybe you did it to not be treated like someone’s property. Maybe to protect yourself from getting hurt. 

In the end, it didn’t matter. Not anymore. 

He found out the truth and is furious. Even worse, he tries to break down the door to get inside your room.

His rut won’t let him think straight. If he manages to break your door, he’ll claim you in the heat of the moment. Just like you always feared…

A few days earlier, Cape Girardeau, Missouri

“I wanted to thank you again for helping me,” Cassie guiltily looks at you. 

It’s the first time you met her, but the second time for Sam and Dean helping her with a case. According to what Sam told you, she’s usually bubbly and self-confident. 

But the moment you stepped into her living room, following Sam and Dean to tell her that the wrath had been defeated, she changed. Her eyes drop to the ground, and you frown as you seem to be the reason for her behavior.

“It was nothing, really,” you hastily say before one of the brothers can tell her so. “Dean’s friends are our friends. And it’s our job to hunt down the evil.”

“Well…I…” She trails off, glancing at Dean. “It wasn’t nothing. All of you risked your lives.” 

Sam clears his throat, jerking his head toward the door. “I’ll get the books,” he says. “Can you lend me a hand, Y/N?”

“Sure,” you wrinkle your forehead but follow Sam outside. You know Cassie is an old friend of Dean and maybe he wants to have some time alone with her.

Sam and you left Cassie’s place to get a few hours of sleep. It’s a long drive back to your current hideout, and you don’t want to sleep in the car again.

Dean didn’t come back. Of course, he didn’t. You’re not foolish enough to believe he’d not take the chance and get laid.

You knew the moment Cassie came back into the picture that he’d jumped the chance to have a tête-à-tête with the pretty brunette goddess. 

Years ago, you would’ve spent the night curled into a ball, the pillow tear-stained because of your broken heart. Now it’s just a dull pain you can suppress and ignore.

You accepted a long time ago that Dean is not interested in you in a romantic way. He sees the sister in you they never had. 

Dean came back in the morning, smiling and joking while you tried to hide your sour mood. It’s not his fault that you are in love with the cocky alpha for years. 

You told him about your feelings during a drunk escapade. Dean didn’t remember in the morning, and you acted like you didn’t pour your heart out.

“Cassie invited all of us for lunch,” he casually says. As if you can’t see the hickeys on his neck, or still smell her on him. “What do you say? Sammy? Sweetheart?”

That nickname makes you want to throw up. It sounds like he tries to mock you using it after he fucked some other omega. 

Again, you tell yourself it’s not his fault you fell for him. It’s yours for not telling him how you feel sooner, or while you are sober.

“Fine by me. I’m hungry, and free food is free food,” you casually say while you struggle to keep the sadness out of your voice. “She’s nice.”

“Yeah, she is,” he dreamily says, smiling dopily, breaking your heart even more as he tells you that he wants to come back more often from now on.

“Dean said you are beta, and that you are strong and smart,” Cassie awkwardly looks at you. She stiffly points to the couch, inviting you to sit with her. Dean and Sam wanted to check on another case one town away and you are left with the omega Dean chose over you. “So—uh…you hunt with the boys.”

“For a few years,” you shrug and try to ignore that you can smell Dean on her. He must’ve done more than help her wash the dishes. You shudder and scrunch up your nose.

“What’s wrong with you?” She cocks her head and watches you squirm on the sofa. “Y/N? Are you sick?”

You make a retching noise, concerning her even more. “I’m fine. It’s just…nothing…forget it.” You shake your head.

“Shit,” Cassie exclaims. “You can smell Dean on me. Right? That’s the reason you act like you are about to puke on my carpet. Does he know?”

Your heart drops. She cannot tell Dean. He’ll get mad and chase you away if he ever finds out about your true nature. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Only omegas can smell an alpha,” she softly says and places her hand on your knee. “You are hiding your nature from him, I assume.”

“I-no…”

“Why didn’t you tell him that you are an omega? Why lie to him? If you see him as your alpha…” She sighs deeply as you still refuse to admit that you are not a beta. “We both know that you feel more than friendship for him.”

“If you have an ounce of decency and a heart, you won’t tell him, “You get up from your seat. “You fucked him without asking if I’m his mate. So, you owe me.”

It’s not fair to call Cassie out on sleeping with Dean, but you’ve got no choice. She can’t tell him what she found out. And you will make sure of it.

“She doesn’t want to see me again, Y/N! What did you say to Cassie!” Dean is furious. After your little talk with Cassie, she decided it’s best to make sure that you and Dean finally talk about the elephant in the room.

“I don’t know what you are talking about!”

“She said you are hiding things from me, and that you have feelings for me! I thought we talked about catching feelings. We both agreed on never talking about what you told me that night.”

“You remember?” You shake your head in disbelief. “All this time I believed you were oblivious to my feelings. But you knew all along.”

“You’re beta and we can never be together.”

“What if I was omega? Would my presentation change things between us?” It’s time to be brave and talk to Dean. 

“It doesn’t matter if you are an omega or not. Your presentation wouldn't change a thing. We are friends and should keep it that way.”

“Oh, okay,” you nod and tell yourself again that you are over your crush on the hunter. “Good to know. You should call Cassie and tell her we talked shit out.”

Dean watches you storm off. He sighs and shakes his head. “We can’t ruin our friendship.”

Dean followed your advice and called Cassie. Only for her to turn him down once again.

“Omega? No,” Dean shakes his head. Cassie tried to keep your true nature a secret, but she spilled the truth when Dean tried to kiss her. “Why are you saying these things? Do you want me to leave? Is it that?”

“I want you to talk to your friend! She’s hiding her true nature because of you and your friendship. I think she’s in love with you. You should’ve seen the way she reacted to your scent on my skin.”

Dean opens his mouth. He tries to say something, but then he realizes that Cassie must’ve told him the truth. “My scent?” Dean shakes his head. “That’s impossible. Only omegas can scent an alpha.”

“Exactly,” she softly says. “Dean, as long as you’ve got an omega yearning for you around, we can’t be more than friends.”

Dean slams the door to the bunker shut. He can’t believe Cassie broke things up over a misunderstanding. You can’t be an omega.  

“Where is Y/N?” he asks, glaring in Sam’s direction. Dean is close to losing his composure and has no patience left. “I need to talk to her.”

“She texted me. I think she’s at the bar,” Sam wrinkles his forehead. Something seems to be off with you and his brother. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’ll be at the bar.”

“O-kay. I’ll be here, reading one of the books I bought on our way back. Call me if you need help.”

Watching his brother storm off Sam wonders what happened between you and his brother.

“Do you ever think, whoa, I should jump into my car and just ride into the sunset?” You grumble as Donnie the bartender refills your glass.

“Sometimes,” he shrugs. “I like my job, and this town is nice. People tip me well so, it’s not very often.”

“Hmm…” you nod slowly. “I fucked things up between me and a good friend. Maybe he’ll hate me now.”

“Speaking of said man,” Donnie jerks his head toward the door. “He looks mad. What did you do?”

“Y/N, what are you—” Dean stops in his tracks. He dips his head, and looks you up and down before he takes a step toward you. He stops again, sniffing in your direction. “No. This can’t be.”

“Dean, what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to talk to Cassie.”

“What did you do?” Dean grabs your arm, making you wince as he forgets about his strength.

“Let me go, Dean. You are hurting me,” you wiggle in his tight grip. “Dean!” 

“I can scent you,” he growls. “Why did you hide that you’re an omega? Huh? You hide your nature only to reveal who you really are right when I meet Cassie again.”

“I hate being weak and vulnerable during my heats. And I don’t want anyone to believe I’m a pathetic omega who’s needy all the time and wants to nest. I didn’t want you to see a liability in me!”

You break out of Dean’s grip and run out of the bar. He needs a moment, looking at Donnie before he storms out of the bar to chase after you.

Now, …

Dean came back to the bunker a few hours after you left the bar, his rut in full swing. When Sam tried to stop him from getting to you, he knocked his brother out.

“Open the fucking door or I’ll break it down,” Dean warns one last time. “I mean it, Y/N! OPEN IT!”

He kicks the door again. This time the lock gives in, and the door creaks open. You hide under your bed, hoping Dean will calm down before he does something he’ll regret…

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[mochis-cream]

11:34 — song mingi ♡

・ sometimes you wonder what life decisions you’ve made that wound you up by this clowns side, but then again, you wouldn’t trade him for the world

s.mg x gn!reader ・ ateez ・ 에이티즈 ・ sfw ・ non!idol au ・ wc: exactly 600 ・ genre -> fluff, slice of life, slapstick ・ one shot! -> masterlist!

content warning: established relationship, collective sillies, mingi minging, princess mingi realness, cursing, lowercase intended, not proofread

author’s note: guys idk what happened!! one minute i was asleep and then the next i was awake at 3 in the morning writing this 😰😰 anyways mingi mingi mingi i love mingi mmrph (*´∇｀*)

‘CAUTION! DO NOT TOUCH!!’

you were certain that was the warning you gave. you were positive, actually, because you're looking at those words right now, written in your handwriting on a sticky note attached to a prank canister. the same prank canister that currently lies in the doorway, open at your feet, several feet away from the only other person in the room who could've opened it. the same person who currently lies on the floor, covered in confetti and fallen cereal, staring up at you like a deer caught in headlights.

"uh- princess? okay, what the fuck. what happened?" you ask, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. the sight is both tragic and fucking hilarious: mingi, wide-eyed and looking like he’s just survived a cartoonish explosion, is splayed out in a sea of brightly colored paper and cheerios.

mingi looks up at you, still processing the events that led to his current predicament. “i... uh... think i touched something i shouldn’t have,” he says, his voice a mix of embarrassment and lingering shock.

you take a moment to survey the room. the open prank canister lies a few feet away, likely flung from mingi's hands during his moment of panic. “and by that you mean the thing that said ‘caution! do not touch!’ in big, bold letters? the thing with the warning written in my handwriting?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

he nods sheepishly. “uh yeah, that seems to be the case.”

you can't help it. the laughter bubbles up from deep inside you, and soon you're doubled over, clutching your stomach as you laugh uncontrollably. mingi watches you with a mix of amusement and annoyance, still covered in confetti and cereal, looking like the world's saddest party favor. a tried and true damsel in distress.

finally, you catch your breath and kneel down beside him. “my, princess, you really outdid yourself this time,” you say, wiping a tear from your eye. you start picking confetti out of his hair, still chuckling.

mingi huffs, sitting up and trying to shake off some of the cereal clinging to his clothes. “it’s not funny,” he mutters, but as much as he might complain, the corners of his mouth twitching upward speaks for itself.

“ah, yeah, you’re right. it’s absolutely hilarious,” you counter, pulling him to his feet. “why on earth would you touch something that i explicitly wrote ‘do not touch’ on?”

mingi shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips. “i dunno.”

you shake your head, still grinning. “there’s never a dull moment with you, is there?”

as you both start cleaning up the mess, you can't help but think about how your life with mingi has always been this way, full of surprises left and right. sure, not every surprise is a good one, but such is life. both of you have your own things to work out, and thing are never always perfect, but you wouldn’t trade this relationship for the world. besides, who else would provide such endless entertainment?

it’s funny really, how two completely different people can come to live and share their lives, and in the end create something beautiful despite the messes they make along the way.

as you scoop up handfuls of cereal and confetti, you glance over at mingi, who's trying (and failing) to stuff the prank canister back together, and it finally clicks. a thought that’ll stay with you until the day you die, ‘yeah, this is the goof i’m staying with for the rest of my life.’

truely, you couldn’t possibly be any happier. lucky you, huh?

[megu-meow]

3 words, 8 letters - Fushiguro Megumi

megumi x fem. reader

Summary: 4 times Megumi shows you he loves you + 1 time he actually says those 3 words to you.

Fushiguro Megumi is not too good with feelings. After loosing way too many people he loved in his life, he began avoiding real, deep connections with others, knowing that his line of work was a cruel one, drenched in grief and sorrow.

When he met you he didn't expect to change his opinion on love and relationships, but you were like a ray of sunshine in his gloomy life. You had so much positivity and such a strong will to live life to the fullest, he sometimes even found it annoying. He thought you were an idiot and dumb for having such a optimistic view, but as he started getting to know you better, he learned that you were intelligent, heck, he thought you were the smartest person he has met so far. One night, when the two of you were finishing up your long study session in the empty library of Jujutsu Tech he collected the courage to ask you how you could approach life with such positivity even though you knew how cruel this world really was.

"It's easy, silly!" you answered with a wide grin, your joy never faltering "In a world like ours, in which sorrow produces ugly monsters that hurt people, I'd prefer not harming others by being negative."

That was the moment Fushiguro Megumi realised he was in love with you. But how the hell was he supposed to tell you that?

One.

It was the fifth time you sneezed in the last seven minutes. Your voice was deeper and raspier than normally and your usual vibrant eyes were dull and filled with fatigue. It didn't matter though, you didn't want to reject Megumi when he asked you to study with him in the library.

"I told you to bring your jacket yesterday and you didn't listen." he says, his voice laced with irritation and something you couldn't quite comprehend "Now you're sick."

You roll your eyes at his pettiness, but you quickly close them as they are hurting from the fever you're developing. Your head is hurting like crazy, your nose is stuffy, your throat feels like you swallowed a handful of needles, but you couldn't care less. You wanted to spend time with Megumi, even if it was just to study. Suddenly, he slams his textbook shut, starting to gather his things. You look at him with sadness in your eyes and he glances at you, while he keeps showing his things into his backpack.

"I'm taking you back to your room, you should be in bed, resting." he says without looking at you and you pout, genuinely sad about your time together coming to end so soon. You know he is right, you need to get better as soon as possible, there are not enough sorcerers out there and even if you're only a Grade 2, you are needed for smaller missions. That doesn't change the fact that you haven't seen Megumi for more that 10 minutes in the last couple of weeks as both of you were busy with missions, your schedules clashing. You'd rather spend time with him than lay in your bed alone, even if the fever ends up killing you.

He helps you gather all your stuff, taking your tote bag and carrying it as he considers you too weak to carry it in your current situation. You observe the cute fabric bag with colourful kittens on it as he puts it on his shoulder. It looks odd on him, which causes you to giggle. His cheeks redden at the sound of your titter and he looks away, not wanting you to notice. But you do and you think he's adorable.

As soon as you arrive to your room, he tucks you into bed, he leaves, without saying a word and you sigh in disappointment, even though you didn't think it would happen otherwise. However, thirty minutes later he is back with a steaming bowl of okayu, some ginger-lemon tea and a handful of medicine he got from Shoko. He stays with you while you eat and watches you carefully as you take the medicine. He gets up again and walks into your bathroom and he comes back with wet cloth and he places it on your burning forehead.

"Thank you, Fushiguro." you say weakly, you were becoming more and more tired from the fever and the medication you just took.

"No worries." he says nonchalantly "You can call me Megumi, you know?" he asks as he starts playing a movie on your laptop that he carefully places on your nightstand, knowing that you fall asleep faster when something's playing in the background.

"Thank you, Megumi." you whisper, already drifting off to sleep.

The next couple of days he keeps on bringing you food and medicine, he spends time with you, so that you wouldn't get bored. He takes a set of notes for you in class, so you wouldn't be so far behind and every time he leaves you for the night he places a small peck on your forehead followed with the words "Get healthy by tomorrow."

Two.

Megumi is the middle of training with Gojo, he's been slammed to the ground for the seventh time by the tall sorcerer, but he's not giving up. He wants to be stronger and he is willing to work hard for that, even if he has to spend another two and a half hours in the infirmary while Shoko treats him, for the third night in a row. However, the silence of the training room is interrupted by the ringing of his phone and he knows it's you by the ringtone. Yes, he has a different ringtone for you, and you only. He sprints to the device and answers it quickly, knowing that it must be important, otherwise you wouldn't call at this late hour. You were more of a texter anyway, the situation is worrisome for more than one reason.

"What's up?" he asks and he's panting slightly. You're slightly surprised, you thought he would be asleep already. He is very serious about maintaining his strict sleep schedule and usually he would already be in bed at this hour.

"Can you talk to me on the phone while I walk back to school, please? I thought a midnight run to the grocery store to get some snacks was a good idea, but there are some dubious people around here and I'm kinda scared." you explain and he can hear your hurried footsteps.

"Where exactly are you?" you give him some directions and he listens carefully.

"You're not that far away. I'm in the middle of something and I can't really leave, but I'll send someone to get you. Text me as soon as you get back though." he explains and hangs up the phone. He quickly summons his demon dogs.

"Go get Y/n and bring her back safely." he says and the two creatures quickly run out, leaving for their quest to find you.

Gojo observes the way Megumi acts and he knows. He recognises the worry in his eyes, he observes his fingers fidgeting and the way he keeps glancing at his phone, waiting for your text, that you're safe. Gojo knows Megumi is head over heels for you.

Three.

Megumi picked up a new, annoying habit - according to Nobara. Lately, Gojo started pairing you on missions and based on your techniques and skill, he opted for you and Yuji to go together and the other two as the second duo. Megumi wasn't pleased about this at all, lately the two of you had little to no time to spend together and you were seemingly getting closer and closer to Yuji. However, he still wanted to show you that you were on his mind so he started looking for souvenirs to bring back to you from every single on of his missions. Nobara was forced to tag along as he carefully analysed the items of 5 different stores in Yokohama, looking for the perfect gift for you. Sometimes he would get you a new pen or hair tie, sometimes he would bring chocolate or other sweets, but he usually opted for flowers. This time he wanted something new, something different so the process of choosing his gift was longer than expected.

"For the love of god, please just choose something already! She's gonna be happy whatever it is, she's already in love with you..." Nobara whines, annoyed by the indecisiveness of the raven-haired idiot.

"What???? How do you know that?" he ask frantically.

"Please, Fushiguro, everyone knows that." she answers rolling her eyes.

"Did she tell you that?"

"No, of course not. She's the most secretive person I know, she doesn't talk about her feelings."

Megumi thinks back on all your conversations and he can recall numerous instances where you've expressed and talked about your feelings in detail.

"That's not true, we always talk about that kind of stuff." he says, contradicting Nobara.

"Exactly! That's why I'm telling you, she's in love with you. Now, get her a bouquet of flowers like you usually do and go tell her you love her and bring an end to our misery."

That night, Megumi walks to your dorm with a box of strawberry flavoured chocolate pralines. He finds you sprawled out on your bed and you smile tiredly as soon as you spot him leaning into the doorframe.

"You look exhausted." he states, his lips are curved into a soft smile, one that shows more and more when he gets to spend time with you.

"I am, but I always have the energy to spend time with you, Megumi."

He walks up to and hands you the chocolate and observes as a faint blush paints the apple of your cheeks a soft pink as you accept them.

"Why do you keep spoiling me like this?" you ask curiously.

"Because you deserve it, Y/n." he says, slowly pushing a loose strand of hair behind you ear "Now, go to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow."

"We?"

"Yeah, Gojo said we're going on a mission together."

"Oh, thank god! I am so over going on missions with Yuji, he's crazy. I'd much rather go with you."

Megumi smiles as he shuts your door behind him. He's gonna tell you how he feels soon.

Four.

You're both Grade 1 sorcerers. Apparently, the mission Gojo sent the two of you on was so that you could be promoted to a higher grade. It was a difficult one, but you and Megumi figured it out with your wit and your insane chemistry in battle. The moment your teacher announces your advancement on the ranking of Jujutsu Sorcerers you trow yourself at Megumi, hugging him tightly. You're not thinking straight, it just comes naturally and he is a bit startled at first, but he leans into it. It's nice, warm and cozy. He can smell the sweet scent of your shampoo more intensely than ever and he enjoys the way you cling into him. He's not huge on physical touch, but he could get used to this. And he does. He starts hugging you more frequently, he leans his head on your shoulder when you're cramped in Ijichi's car, he puts his hand on the small of your back when you're walking around a busy street so you won't get lost. If these small touches were coming from any other boy, it wouldn't be a big deal. However, this is Megumi. The boy who's always serious, stoic and never lets anyone into his two meter radius.

"You know that Megumi never hugged anyone in his life, right?" Gojo asks as he stands next to you, looking out to the training field, where Yuji and Megumi keep whacking each other with nunchucks. "Or at least not since he was seven."

"Are you for real, Sensei?" you ask in disbelief.

"Yeah. Not even his sister." he observes as you take in the new information. You are smiling like an idiot and he's glad to see that you're just as smitten for the boy he raised as he is for you. "I have a feeling things are gonna change for the better soon, so I'm gonna ask you to do a favour for me, Y/n-chan. Please take care of Megumi. He has a fragile heart, he's been through a lot, so try not to break him even more, okay?"

You nod very seriously and Gojo's smile widens. He winks at you from behind his glasses and he starts walking towards the two boys with the intention of breaking up their fight.

"One more thing..." he turns back to face you "If you're gonna do anything you're not supposed to, please use protection, I don't want to be a grandfather just yet."

+One.

You were sitting on your bed, watching movies with Megumi. He recently finished reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy, knowing they were your favourite books in the world. He didn't usually read fiction, but you convinced him to do otherwise thins once. He couldn't say no to your puppy eyes and your pouty face so he picked up the first book. He admitted after the first few chapters that he was enjoying it and he read the whole series in a short amount of time. You were watching the movies now and suddenly Megumi put his head on your lap, watching the action happening on the screen intently. He was tired, but he didn't want to admit it. If he said anything, he would be forced back into his room and into his cold bed and he would much rather spend time with you. He didn't expect your finger to slowly start running though his hair, massaging his scalp soothingly. He could feel his eyes dropping, on the verge of falling asleep.

"I love you." he muttered unconsciously and your eyes widened as you processed his confession.

"I love you too, Megumi." you said with a wide grin on your face as you observed his pink lips curving into a smile. Suddenly, he jolted up, his eyes wide as he looked at you in shock.

"What did you just say?"

"I said I love you too."

"Are you for real?"

"Of course, silly. Why would I joke about something like this?!"

He swears his next move was on instinct as his hands cupped your face, pulling you closer in a sweet and loving kiss. It took a long time for Megumi to finally mutter those three words to you, although his confession was always evident from his actions. Talking about his feelings was never easy for him, but he swears he's going to keep repeating those three words just to see you smile that bright as the first time he told you 'I love you'.

[sebsbarnes]

psychopomp || tangerine

tangerine x f!reader

summary: it was that moment, underneath the streetlight, that tangerine knew he had no choice but to love you

warnings: death, dying, anxiety

word count: 1.6k+ ; ANGST

masterlist

a/n; can't lie team this one kinda hurts maybe not as bad as 'the days you meet' but its also a diff kind of hurt??? anyways enjoy? inspo from one of my fav songs

psychopomp: a spiritual guide to a living person's soul

it had been a year. one year since tangerine died on the bullet train. one year of grieving the man you loved harder each day that passed. you woke up each day wishing it was a dream, some sick fucking dream meant to torment you until it drove you mad but you'd still wake up. and when you did, tangerine would be lying next to you in bed, one arm draped lazily around your waist greeting you good morning.

it was only a day before tangerine died that the two of you finally spoke those three words. it wasn't even needed truth be told. you both knew the love you had for the other whether it be your actions or words, it was evident.

"you are my everything," tangerine whispered to you one night. the confession came out of nowhere in the middle of watching an action movie. from his lap you looked up at him, cheeks turning red but thankfully the dull light from the tv masked the blush. reaching up you gently stroked his chin running a thumb across his bottom lip.

"you are my everything and more."

the memory ached. your skull felt tight and you screwed your eyes tight wishing away the painful memory. it felt too real. it felt like that night two years ago was unfolding at the current moment. you could almost smell tangerine's shampoo and feel the fabric of the couch on your legs. it's not real. the air held no fragrance and the bed sheets were a far sensation from the fabric of the couch.

"i don't think i'd ever be able to do life without you," you grinned lovingly at tangerine. he stumbled in his steps, caught off guard by the loving sentiment.

tangerine quirked an eyebrow at you, "why 'cause i picked out some peppers for you?" he joked holding up a plastic bag of peppers he just grabbed from the grocery store shelf.

the laugh you let out echoed off the walls of the grocery store earning some curious eyes. some may think it's silly to profess such a statement for an action that is so mundane but you were smitten by tangerine, and something as simple as grocery shopping was something you wished to never experience without him.

even though you lay there with closed eyes you felt your lips twitch into the smallest of smiles. you could remember the confused yet playful tone in his voice and the way he dangled the bag of peppers. you swore you could feel the tingling on your cheek after he kissed you and then whisked you away to check out. your fingers twitched to caress your cheek but your arm couldn't move.

it was beautiful, that night 366 days ago. the sky had never been so clear. the breeze drifted delicately across your bare arms. the distant sound of a mother urging their child that it was time to leave the park was met with defiance. it made you giggle, understanding the desire to stay out late and continue to play. tangerine was standing behind you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, head tucked into your neck. his breathing tickled your neck ever so slightly raising goosebumps. you weren’t sure if it was intentional but he was rocking the two of you side to side as you both admired the sky. the way the midnight blue encapsulated the fiery orange.

“i love you,” he stated as if it was the easiest thing to say.

and it was. it was so easy the way the vowels and consonants rolled off his tongue to form three simple words. three words used so much on their own yet when put together carried the weight of the world.

you turned in his arms that moved to your waist and brought yours around his neck. he watched as your eyes glossed over and shined back at him as if he was staring at a star.

“i love you, tangerine.”

"do you mean it?" he jested with a lopsided grin, the fingers on your waist pushing you closer to his body.

"more than you could ever possibly know... moron..."

you took a heavy breath through your nose. your chest ached the same way it did that night except this time your heart pounded from anxiety. you swear you can feel tangerine here with you, you can feel the way his fingers pushed into your skin, you can hear the sound of his heart beating.

his heart beating.

it's not possible.

"but it is," you heard a whisper somewhere far in the depths of your mind.

you heaved forward and your eyes darted around. the lights were too bright and you could barely make out the figure in the corner of the room through half-open eyes. you ran a hand across your face in some measly attempt to wake yourself up more. if you weren't tucked underneath the white sheets you would've fallen over at the sight before you.

"tan- tangerine. w-what? i don't understand, what? what are you doing here," your head couldn't figure out what the hell was happening.

tangerine appeared at your bedside, his smile pulled into a line. he sighed, "i think it's me that should be asking what you are doing here?"

you looked at him quizzically. is he serious you thought. before you could yell at the man you thought was dead for the last year, you watched him solemnly gaze around the room, the side of his lips twitching. you seized all motion besides the robotic movement of your head as you took in the room around you.

white walls and floors, a white bed. a large window into a hallway. there were people running back and forth. the door slammed open and in rushed a frantic man adorned in a white coat. you watched him walk past you and in front of tangerine as if he wasn't there. the man in the coat yelled out to someone behind his shoulder and despite being next to him his voice was distant.

"tan, i don't understand what's going on," you whispered with shaking hands.

tangerine attempted to blink away tears. his blue eyes were even more striking in this moment. he looked beautiful standing next to you but you couldn't ignore the grief on his face.

"there was an accident," he said with a cracking voice, "a bad one."

you turned to look over your shoulder but you were face to face with yourself. anxiety crept throughout every vein inside your body and you began to pant. you felt your chest concaving into itself and you felt the swelling of your throat. you watched the doctors and nurses poke and prod at your body, the monitors unleashing their high-pitched songs.

"i don't understand tangerine what is happening. please, what is happening," you pleaded through panicked tears.

"you were in a car accident darlin'," he swallowed back the sob he wanted to let out. he placed his hands on your shoulders forcing you to face him now.

and you could feel it. you could feel the weight on your shoulders. you could feel the warmth on his hands. he was here. you could feel him, you could smell his cologne, you could see the way his eyes were looking at you, you could hear his voice.

"b-but you're dead... how. does that mean...?" you trailed off waiting to hear his answer as the tears brimming in your eyes finally broke.

"no, my love. not yet," he murmured, his hands rubbing down your arms attempting to bring you comfort, though the tears streaming down his beautiful face made you feel worse.

"i can't do life without you," you pleaded tugging at his hands, threading your fingers through his.

tangerine closed his eyes and steadied his breath. he desperately tried to ignore the way your eyes shined just like that night 366 days ago. the way the streetlights and the tears in your eyes shined as you confessed your love for him was a far cry from the reason why your eyes shined right now. but he couldn't help but be transported back to that park. he wished with every fiber of his being that that night never ended. that you two stood swaying back and forth muttering 'i love you' until dawn broke and day turned into night and night turned into day and you stood there on the pavement until your feet wore holes into the ground.

but he couldn't.

so he let your hands drop to your sides and brought his arms behind his neck. you watched as the gold chain lifted from his chest and he enclosed your hand with his pressing a firm kiss to your forehead.

"it's not your time, darlin'," he grieved. you felt the gold chain snake its way into your palm.

you felt a jolt of electricity course through your body. you could feel it in every bone, muscle, and vein and it ripped into your lungs and it tore you awake. you were met with the frantic eyes of doctors and nurses, some of whom sighed in relief.

"almost lost you there!" one of them chucked nervously fidgeting with a monitor and tubes.

unfortunately, that was the least of your concerns. your eyes scanned every inch of the room looking for tangerine. he was here. he was just here. he was real and alive. he had a pulse. his chest fell and rose because he was alive, he was breathing. you felt his hands on you and you felt his lips on your skin. so where was he? why don't you see him?

"excuse me where did that gentleman go?" you asked.

one of the nurses turned to you confused, "i'm sorry?"

"the man that was standing next to me. long hair, mustache, in a suit?" you pried hoping for any form of recollection to grace her face.

"i'm sorry miss but no one has been in here. i've been monitoring you alone for the past two hours until you started to flatline," she stated confusion still riddled in her tone.

all you could do was mutter the quietest of ohs. you looked down at your body that was now re-tucked underneath white sheets, an iv poking your left arm, a cast protecting your right hand. the white walls and floors with the large window in the wall, just like you had seen.

you noticed the nurse hunch down to the ground before standing up and examining something.

"oh this must be yours!" she exclaimed as you brought your eyes to look at her.

"how cute," she giggled, "there's a little tangerine on it."

time moved in slow motion as she placed the gold necklace in your hand.

[romanoffsbish]

Silent Night

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R

Natasha gives you the worst news possible, you are stuck with her on Christmas Eve when you had made plans with another… (Blurb / WC: 1k)

Warnings: Hurt / Comfort | Grief / Loss | Hopeful Ending

Natasha stood there frozen, her body near perfect in stature to the naked eye, but to any other spy they'd notice the slump in her stance. She was crestfallen in sync with you as you stumbled back and shook your head from side to side, negating her command.

——

"No!" Natasha leapt forward then, her arm quick to wrap around your waist, hand firmly gripping you by the hip as her other covered your trembling lips. The look of genuine grief and budding betrayal in your eyes was like a sword through the assassin's heart but she remained steadfast as she grunted, "stay quiet agent."

For a moment you were stunned into silence, it wasn't like the redhead treated you differently, but you had hoped she would. That she'd let the heartless facade go and help you to escape this nightmare. You needed to get home, which right now was a sterile white room in a rundown hospital because the salary of a shield agent still wasn't enough to save the woman you needed.

A girl never stops needing the love of her mother.

Natasha understood you, she knew the pain behind your eyes well, you were losing something important.

She knew what you were saying; you couldn't stay in this run down cabin with her until the coast was clear. Fury's orders were of no significance to you when you had a very important person waiting on you back home, which was currently thousands of miles away. Tony needed to send a rescue jet now, it didn't matter if lives were lost, you wouldn't really mind if it were your own and that terrified the stoic woman.

The words never left your lips but she could see it in your eyes that you wanted out. Of the cabin, yes, but also of this life you were mindlessly walking through.

Natasha knew something had changed for you about six months ago, you'd stopped smiling at her then. It was such a simple gesture on your end, persistent too as she never returned it, always just walked right by.

Natasha was trying to keep her distance from you as she worried your spark would be dulled by her pain.

There was so much she'd yet to process and she was not willing to take you down her path of darkness. The loss of your smile was actually what forced her into the darkness and ultimately what got her through it. She would picture it in her worst moments and find peace.

A solace she so desperately wanted to be for you, deep down she knew you'd need someone to hold you and she refused to let anyone else take this spot, it was hers. The protectiveness didn't fade but her resolve softened as she felt your tears beneath her fingers.

"Natasha, I have to go," you cried as her hand slipped and you attempted to shove her away. "I know..." Yet her hold didn't falter, it only tightened, "but you can't."

"Please," you cried, fists pummeled into her chest but she didn't falter. Her lips were gently raised and your eyes froze on the gesture you had always wanted from her. You were wrong for hitting her but she merely offered you reassurance; the permission to continue.

It broke you from your rage and set free the truth as you fell into her hold instead and the redhead was quick to lower your bodies. You wailed just the same as you did when your mother gave birth to you, giving you the life she'd lose tonight; on the eve of Christmas.

Twas her favorite holiday, it carried a nostalgia from her childhood that she sprinkled into yours. The best parts of course, she was that for you, if you could you'd sacrifice decades of yours for just another with her.

Life and death are intimately bonded, woven together as opposites because it can't be forgotten that what has a start must also come to an end; a cruel twisted fate.

The hopeful would call it a miracle, but you were more akin to a realist. It was easy to see that both sides offered truth, the reality lied beneath the romanticism.

There was good and bad in everyone's story, you felt it in the air as your mother's words presented falsely. The ding of your phone was unnecessary, just like the '🕊️' your sister had texted you. You felt the tether snap.

Your mother told you she wouldn't leave until she knew you were alright, which was not exactly rooted in the present moment but rather the foreshadowed fate.

The ghost pressure of a pair of lips was pressed against your forehead, and you whined in your sob induced sleep, Natasha lent down and kissed your skin in hopes that it would soothe your broken heart, even just a bit.

A smile adorned her face when you nuzzled further into her embrace, she pulled a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around your bodies. It didn't bother her that her night would be spent on the floor, with her back up against the edge of the couch, it wasn't ideal for sleeping but she didn't plan on doing that anyways.

The only plans she had were to sip on her tea and watch the rise and fall of your chest, "I've got you..."

Natasha didn't believe in much, the woman has stood up against aliens but she still dismissed the fables of  ghosts, werewolves and vampires (she was team Alice).

The redhead was trained to believe what she sees, and it wasn't until tonight that she could cross out another.

A gust of wind blew over the both of you shortly after the woman had confirmed her desires to be with you. Three simple words that carried a deeper message. A smirk overtook the redheads face as she felt a warmth she'd never felt before, there was no other explanation.

"It's nice to meet you Miss Y/L/N; she's safe here."

[animeyanderelover]

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusions, stalking, clinginess, jealousy, aggressive behavior, manipulation, controlling behavior, isolation, gaslighting, abduction, death

Yandere Demon Slayer Hc’s

Kamado Tanjiro

❤️Caring, protective, nurturing. It might be no surprise that Tanjiro manages to worm his way into your heart and the heart of your family and friends thanks to his honest and compassionate nature. He’s always willing to help you with whatever you need and you find him often going the extra mile for you where he persistently insists that you don’t have to feel like you owe him anything since he loves helping you and will do it for free. Tanjiro certainly belongs on the more obsessed spectrum, comes to visit you whenever he can and recalls details about you most people wouldn’t bother to remember about you. Gifts you give him as a sign of gratitude and appreciation are greatly treasured by him but honestly, you could gift this boy a rock and he’d still love it since it’s from you. If it’s something small, he’ll carry it around everywhere with him as his personal lucky charm and destroying whatever you gave him is one of the few times Tanjiro will be genuinely angry.

❤️As already mentioned, Tanjiro is protective of his darling and his past has played a strong part into this. Frail health has taken his father from him and demons have taken almost the entire rest of his family from him and Tanjiro wouldn’t want to lose you too. He always looks out for your health and makes sure that you eat, drink and sleep enough and if he realizes, most likely due to his enhanced smell, that you’re unhappy or stressed because of something, he’ll insist stubbornly to assist you in any way he can so you can rest better. Demons are currently his biggest fear though so if he catches even a faint scent of them in the region where you live, he will grow a bit paranoid and beg you to not leave the house after the sun has set. Not until someone from the Demon Slayers has taken care of the man-eating demon at least. The existence of demons is a terrifying knowledge and if you’re yet unaware of it, Tanjiro will keep quiet about it for a while just to keep your image of the world intact. He’s terrible at lying though, especially to you so if you ever confront him about it due to the strange accidents and his fitting behavior, he’ll most likely end up admitting the truth to you.

❤️He’s patient, he’s considerate and Tanjiro also wants his darling to be happy. It would genuinely upset him to restrict his darling in their daily life, especially since he knows that cancelling their freedom would mean dulling their happiness and he couldn’t bear that. If his darling is happy, Tanjiro is happy too. Honestly, I feel like thanks to his sense of smell he might genuinely sniff out who has a crush on you or even loves you in which case you catch him being a bit more awkward, especially if you like the person a lot too. Unable to openly express it yet, Tanjiro swallows his jealousy for the moment though although it’s likely that he’ll admit his emotions later on. You most likely already know how he feels about you since he’s always keen on expressing his fondness and adoration for you. You catch him blurting out something to the other person the moment they act really affectionate and touchy, something that even catches him off guard.

❤️Tanjiro is usually a kind soul but he has been shown hating certain traits in people that manage to elicit an annoyed or even infuriated reaction out of him. He dislikes cowardice or overly barbaric behavior and responds accordingly. Since he is pretty hyper-focused on his darling, their health and happiness he is triggered the moment someone openly interferes with that and puts his darling under stress. It’s one thing doing it without knowing in which case Tanjiro will step in for his s/o and explain the situation but it’s another thing doing it without caring for you or with the intention of tormenting you. It’s one of the times where the thread of Tanjiro’s kindness just snaps and he reveals the brooding anger and resentment he often hides deep inside of him ever since Muzan attacked his family. He wouldn’t kill a human unless they commit a hideous crime due to his belief that those who have committed evil should be killed without mercy. A mindset he usually reserves for demons but transfers to humans if he should ever encounter someone like that due to you. Even his empathy for demons has never stopped him from beheading them and that stays true and strengthens after he falls in love with his darling.

❤️I do think that Tanjiro is aware enough to know that with certain actions he would harm you more than he would help you. He’s probably the type who is able to justify a good bunch of his behavior due to his overprotective side and also since he genuinely does things because he thinks that it will help you, kidnapping would mean caging you in though. He’d most likely feel to guilty to ever do that, not to mention that it would cause him to feel terribly about himself. That being said, if your life is at risk, he won’t hesitate to lock you away somewhere he hopes to be able to keep you safe and he’s especially frantic if you’ve been hurt already. Such restrictions don’t last long though, at least until the danger is over and your wounds have healed enough. Leaving him doesn’t have to necessarily end in an abduction but you’ll find Tanjiro certainly not leaving your life fully either as he lingers around.

❤️He wants to introduce Nezuko to you and she most likely wants to meet you too since her brother often tells her about you. He’s scared though that you might be afraid of his sister since she’s a demon. Inosuke and Zenitsu are bound to find out after a while too, Zenitsu with his enhanced hearing is able to hear quite literally Tanjiro’s heart going crazy in his chest when he sees you. Both are deep down happy for him but obviously express it in their own unique ways, Zenitsu probably at first in a fit of jealousy since he’s still single. If you live in the city you would rather keep Tanjiro close by your side since he grew up in the country and is almost all the time completely overwhelmed with all the lights and inventions he’s never seen before in his life. Househusband potential, every time you take him home with you, he’s guaranteed to either clean the house for you, fix something or just cook for you and he enjoys doing it for you.

Hashibira Inosuke

🐗He’s been raised in the wildness so you can expect Inosuke to be terribly oblivious to the wrongness of his own obsession once he actually realizes that his feelings for you go deeper. Surely he loves having you around, gets irritated when he doesn’t know where you are, gets mad when someone else tries to consume your time and goes beyond and even further so you praise him since it makes his abdomen tingle but it’s not anything more than that, right? Tanjiro and Zenitsu probably try to teach him what he feels but initially he doesn’t pay them much mind since love is a foreign word for him to grasp yet. It isn’t until he nearly lost his darling, be that in the literal sense or because of an admirer they also like a lot, does he finally begin to understand how much he wants his darling. Unable to know how to deal with it, he acts even more short-tempered and aggressive around others as he starts seeing anyone as a possible rival except your own family. He’s delusional due to his misconception of how love should work and also terribly possessive over you.

🐗Once Inosuke has come to understand that you are like the missing half of his heart, he instantly starts seeking you out even more intensely than he did before. There’s this primal fear that anything could happen if he isn’t with you or that someone else might try to gain your affection so he always tries to be with you. He’s not even bothering to stalk you and let’s be honest, he wouldn’t be even half-decent in it either. No, instead he’s loud and causes multiple heads to turn to your direction as he becomes incredibly clingy. You better keep a close eye on him or otherwise he will provoke someone and get into a conflict, even if this is initially not his intention. Inosuke is essentially your personal guardboar at one point and he calls himself quite often your personal protector with a puffed out chest. All his confident talk outside though, Inosuke is genuinely worried for his darling, especially since demons are everywhere. He seems to think that he’s best suited to protect you though which leads to him rejecting anyone else helping you and also seems to tie into his delusions since he justifies his whole clingy behavior with the fact that he has to protect you.

🐗Considering that he was raised by boars, Inosuke interprets things a lot more different than those who have been raised in the human society so he doesn’t even know what the concept jealousy truly means. He’s defending what’s most precious to him in his eyes, from dangers and love rivals alike. He runs highly on jealousy though as one glance can be enough to set him off and have him shouting at someone and challenging them to a fight to settle things in the only manner he has learned. He has a superiority complex in some ways as he tends to overestimate his abilities. His darling probably has to explain to him what the word jealousy even means and even then he will strongly deny this word being used for him since he connects it with insecurities to not be able to defend and protect his love. His jealousy is as obvious as it can get though with his aggressive shouting and the annoyed feeling in his chest when his darling compliments and praises someone else. Inosuke has things he just isn’t skilled in and the way he was raised is mostly to blame but his pride would never take that so he’s relentless to challenge anyone to a duel to show that he’s better, to prove to you that he’s the best to keep you safe.

🐗He’s bound to stand out due to his aggressive and loud way of behaving and it definitely has happened more than just once that he scared someone away thanks to his antics. This overall aggression doesn’t imply that Inosuke is someone to hurt just anyone though. With time, although with difficulties, he learns to warm up more to other people and acknowledge others besides him. His possessive and jealous side never fades though nor does his confident and aggressive side, he’s as attached as ever. Despite being a hothead though, Inosuke is perceptive when it comes to picking up people with bad intentions or not, especially when it comes to the people you see in your daily life. Demons are never really a problem and Inosuke also keeps vengeful grudges when it comes to humans who have wronged you in which case he doesn’t believe them to deserve mercy and will be convinced that his violent ways of dealing with such people is justified.

🐗It’s not uncommon that Inosuke drags you away whenever he seems fit for multiple reasons. Either he wants to be a show-off and wants your praise, because you’ve spent too much time with someone else or because of some other petty reason. He isn’t even afraid to just break into your own house and act like it’s his own too which probably is true in his own mind. Generally speaking though Inosuke is capable of locking his darling away and that is also partially because he doesn’t know that it’s wrong. It’s never forever though since he lacks the proper skills to take fully care of you. Cases of him locking his darling away happen during times of danger where he just wants his s/o out of danger or when they try to cut ties with him which he eventually realizes and which strikes his possessive side horribly. He isn’t able to understand why you would want to leave him either, his whole behavior isn’t anything suspicious in his own mind.

🐗With no knowledge of what personal boundaries are, Inosuke touches his darling on numerous occasions. He’s quite rough with everything at the beginning and might hurt you by accident at times when he grabs you too harshly or pulls you back to his side. Some of the affection you show him, he probably doesn’t even realize as such due to his upbringing. It needs patience and time to really be able to keep up with Inosuke thanks to his impulsive, loud and aggressive ways but what is undeniable is that Inosuke holds a deep affection for you. He knows your name after all and doesn’t constantly call you by the wrong name. He always tells you about things he did and expects you to praise him for it. A bit nicer when his own friends are around his darling though if they stare at his s/o too long, Inosuke tends to get the wrong idea again which ends in the typical aggressive provocation of his for a fight. His darling is the only one who can keep some level of control over him but only a bit.

Tomioka Giyu

🌊Giyu has never been exceptionally talented when it comes to interacting with other people as he is stoic and a man of few words. He’s someone who keeps his distance and this reason alone already sets him up as the silent stalker of his darling. Something he is quite talented in so you probably never notice that there is a young man following you around. Besides his reserved nature, Giyu has other reasons to stay away from you though. He’s perceptive of his own emotions and figures out his crush before it spirals down into an obsession. He’s ashamed of letting his emotions escalate into the more obsessive spectrum, doesn’t want to face you. Partially you also just make him too flustered as his emotions for you are strong enough to throw him out of his composure and Giyu doesn’t want you to know about his growing feelings. To top it all, Giyu sort of fears that he somehow might drag you into danger if he were to stay with you. He’s a Demon Slayer, he risks his life killing demons and wants to keep you out of a world you probably don’t even know exists. He’s lost so many important people in his life after all, he doesn’t want to lose you.

🌊He doesn’t think of himself too highly either, is even quite insecure since he doesn’t know if his darling would even like someone like him as he recalls Shinobu’s teasing about nobody liking him and it suddenly gets to him. Giyu stays for such a long time just in the shadows of your life, silently yearning for someone he believes he shouldn’t have as there is no guarantee that he might even live a long life and additionally thinks is far too good for him. Yet every smile you give him when you see him or thoughtful gesture you do for the quiet male haunts him as his emotions silently wail out for him to do something. He spends days on end contemplating his problems alone as he doesn’t want anyone else to know about it. He knows they’ll find out eventually but it’s too early for him yet. The decision to stay is made when he has realized that you genuinely want him in your life and the wavering thought, more like slightly desperate hope, that he might still be deserving of something in his life.

🌊Giyu is one of those people who many have a hard time reading and when it comes to jealousy, that’s no different. His face just rarely changes, if at all. I do think that Giyu is someone who doesn’t hold jealousy in a very high regard since it causes people to not think logically and instead let their mind get clouded by their possessive feelings. The Hashira doesn’t want to act that way around his darling and frankly spoken, he doesn’t consider himself worthy either. Insecurities do get the better of him but he often blames it on himself for not being able, or rather be too afraid and ashamed, to act on his own feelings. He stuffs all possible jealousy down as good as he can and chooses silent suffering instead. Even in a relationship he will never show his jealousy openly but you do realize the way his blue eyes constantly wander back and forth between you and your companion before going back to look at you. After a while he completely avoids looking at all to not make it unnecessarily hard for himself. You can expect Giyu to keep on glancing at you for the rest of the day though because even though he isn’t admitting it loudly, he silently craves some validation in form of affection.

🌊I believe that there’s going to be an increase in Giyu’s protective behavior and that is because he unravels with more time with what his darling provides him and what they actually mean to him. Giyu’s trust and honestly is not easy to earn, not with someone as stoic and silent as him, someone who shows his emotions to only few people. Once you have carefully and slowly peeled off the layers of him, Giyu finds himself relying a lot on you. You’re basically his emotional support pillar, when he has a problem or something deeply bothers him, he often visits you to gain tranquility as your presence alone is peaceful and the affection and words of affirmation you give him soothe his soul. Because of this reliance on you, one that might sometimes dangerously border the line of co-dependence, his obsession worsens. He’s keeping most of the time his composure and is by no means violent but he hates people who don’t know their own limitations and don’t respect your limits either and makes sure to let them know about their inconsiderate actions. If someone harms his loved one, Giyu’s masks cracks though and he expresses rage.

🌊He’s respecting his s/o too much for any low actions like abduction and he’s deep down also frightened to his core that his darling might end up loathing him. Even if this reaction makes perfect sense in his head when he thinks about it, something about it disturbs him deeply and that might just be the result of the strong emotional reliance he has on you. As someone with a high sense of moral and justice the drastic measurement of an abduction seems and feels wrong in every way so the chances are low for Giyu to cut off your freedom, especially since he never knows if he’s even going to come back from a very dangerous mission. In case Giyu feels like your relationship with him is at stake, he finds himself often going with a mix of manipulation and sabotage, in drastic cases of you getting injured or a demon haunting your village at night with a spontaneous move of his. Only temporarily of course, only until Giyu has removed any demon and has cooled off his overprotective side enough to let you go back.

🌊Give this man some appreciation and validation because despite his lack of words, Giyu is in desperate need of it. He has a strong inferiority complex and, to make matters worse, survivor guilt so he often doubts himself. His darling on the other hand shows him affection and lets him know that he’s worth it in their eyes and he can’t even begin to express how grateful he is. His overall lack of skills in expressing himself vocally does fill him with guilt, not to mention that he can’t handle too much physical affection either, especially in public. He gets flustered far too easy, even if only a tinge of pink on his cheeks might give him away after his stoic mask slowly slips away. Giyu is big in gift-giving as a way to compensate for his lack of affection in other areas. From kimonos and haoris to hair ornaments to more thoughtful things like your favorite flowers and meals. With the affection you give him, Giyu truly isn’t picky either. Hearing you saying that you love him and want him fills him with indescribable happiness but really just anything to let him know that you adore and love him makes him want to protect someone as precious as you even more.

Rengoku Kyojuro

🔥Kyojuro is someone who his darling might struggle with mainly because he is so cheerful and eccentric to the point it’s almost painful. It’s not like the male Hashira is someone who lets himself get easily dragged down if you’re a bit freaked out by him. Because, for better or worse, Kyojuro has a damaging delusional streak going on. He tends to make assumptions quickly but that isn’t what makes him such a delusional guy. It’s rather his almost unshakable belief that his darling and him are some sort of soulmates and that his hard work to woo them will pay off at one point in time. His delusions might also be tied into the fact that his s/o might neither be someone who fights demons nor even knows about their existence. His philosophy is that the strong ones have to protect the weak ones and despite all the praise and encouraging words the man gives you, at the end of the day he still deems you, even if subconsciously, as someone he has to protect since you wouldn’t last against a demon.

🔥You might believe that he is from honest nature but Rengoku is actually more manipulative than probably even he realizes. This is to blame once again on his conviction that everything he does, he does for you. He is pure of heart and genuinely thinks that what he does, he does to ensure that you’re happy and healthy. The problem is that he’s almost deaf to your own little protests whenever he dominates your life and makes decisions for you and at one point you simply stop complaining and swallow all down. He can’t be reasoned with or at least only hardly and surely someone like Rengoku really only wants the best for you, right? Whether Rengoku or even you realize it, due to him dominating your life so greatly and always insisting that he helps you with everything he can, he pushes you into relying on him until running to him in search of advice and protection has become a dangerous habit of yours. Kyojuro on the other hand notices that you rely on him and takes it the wrong way which only results in him being even more with you since you always search for him when something pops up.

🔥He’s amiable but problems can pop up since you definitely aren’t the only one who tends to be overwhelmed with his antics. Despite of that his honest and pure nature makes it hard to not like him. Rengoku respects family a lot, his own and the one of his darling too since they took care of them and raised them to the best they could. He goes actively out of his way to get on good terms with people you call precious in your life. Not for any manipulative reasons but more because he sincerely wants to befriend those who are people you love and who have helped you through hardships in your life. He’s charismatic and his courtship makes it obvious in what relationship you two are as of now and where it’s probably headed. That alone makes most back away, additionally Rengoku’s antics might be, as already mentioned, a bit tiring. If someone still tries during the stages of courtship, he gets quite fierce but not in an aggressive way but more in a ‘the better may win’ way, although thanks to his delusional streak he is confident that his effort will pay off. In an established relationship on the other hand he steps up quickly and puts his foot down since his darling is already his.

🔥He detests demons as most Hashira do although he has shown understanding with Nezuko due to her defending innocent people. Demons are never a big problem and with humans Kyojuro is more lenient. Given his large protective streak though, he is quick to put people into their place if they wrong you in any way and demands almost all the time that they apologize to you. Worst is that he’s so persistent with it in a way that borders the line of creepy and scary. If his morals happen to clash with those who cause you the trouble, his friendliness leaves him for a bit although his boasting words and eccentric behavior stays intact although there’s a hint of something more creepy now. You definitely don’t want to harm Kyojuro’s s/o though since he’s ready to go through hell and back to ensure their safety.

🔥Strangely enough the man with a straightforward and pure heart is the one who almost pushes you into a forced life with him. Kyojuro leads you on in your life, he is always there to care for you and dote on you that even you don’t know anymore what the true relationship between you two is. Everyone else on the other hand already sees Rengoku as your affectionate and caring husband and the Fire Hashira never claims those statement as wrong. This only causes you to get stuck deeper into the predicament and the more you struggle, the deeper you seem to sink. You’re not surprised when Kyojuro asks you one day to live with him with promises of only loving you and providing for you. You might hesitate, you might even reject and he would accept after questioning you why you don’t want to but this only saves you temporarily. The question is out now after all, he will ask you again soon and you better be careful to not deny him for too long.

🔥The man is like a small flame entering your life and spending you warmth, comfort and protection. His obsession fuels his flames though until the fire he is becomes too much for you to handle and engulfs your life almost completely. You probably know that you’ve grown too dependent on the man who might by now already be your husband but you also have forgotten how to be without him. He would never understand your reasons even if you would decide to leave him, he doesn’t see this relationship as indirectly toxic as you do. Instead he would brush it off as you not feeling well or something else bothering you in which case he would try to soothe you and push you into relying on him even more. Kyojuro showers his s/o in his love and affection, often buys them sweet little gifts and gives them long and big hugs. He introduces you relatively early to his family and whilst Shinjuro doesn’t care greatly for you, Senjuro quickly grows to adore you.

Kibutsuji Muzan

🩸An inflated ego and delusion of his own self-worth have resulted into Muzan seeing himself as a natural disaster, as almost perfect if it wouldn’t be for his inability to walk through sunlight. This twisted view of his own worth coupled with the low opinion he has on everyone else leads him to the brink of a rage rampage when he notices that he, the king of demons, has fallen for an itty bitty mortal human. It infuriates him, hurts his ego as he can’t believe that he would ever sink so lowly. The blame lies never in him though, instead Muzan makes you to the scapegoat of all his ire and frustration, plots the most gruesome deaths only for them to stay on his mind and never be put into action. Something holds the man back, controls him almost and this sensation of weakness, of a human having control over him to such an extent, has Muzan spiraling down into another silent rage. His mood is terrible and the smallest thing could set him off at any moment. He loathes the thought of not being in control as he desires to take it back from you and instead have you submitting to him.

🩸You’re a possession of Muzan which means that he expects others to know not to touch and also expects you to know who you belong to. Obviously you’re never made an equal but instead seen as a precious little human pet he happens to fancy, something you should be grateful for in his mind. You’re secluded and isolated as he wants to be the only one to see you and intends to push you with isolation into despair and submission. You know firsthand how cruel and manipulative he is as he can essentially switch back and forth between being a cold-blooded and callous man who torments you, removes everyone you have ever loved from the living to have you pay for any disobedience and disrespect to a sweeter and more doting man who coaxes you into giving up and accepting your new role. After all he only rewards good behavior. He has long given up on morals and rightful acting as he only acts on his own selfish desires so even if he can assume from your reaction that you’re utterly terrified of him, he couldn’t care less and on the worst days he’ll treat your anxiety and fear like a nuisance as he has neither the motivation nor the patience to care for your own irrelevant feelings.

🩸Now how can you make him jealous if you only have him to be with? Do you even dare to make Kibutsuji Muzan himself jealous? Only if you’re prepared for the consequences, my dear. With no remorse and consideration whatsoever, the only thing you can expect is that a head will very soon roll on the ground and a irked Muzan confronting you and punishing you for your naïve and stupid behavior. There’s nothing to gain from this petty action, not if Muzan is the one terribly obsessed with you. He has acquired the admiration and fear of all of his subordinates and his darling won’t be any exception. They’ll learn to submit, to lower their head and gaze at him as if he’s the incarnation of god himself. If there’s anyone who lingers on your mind and encourages your rebellious action, Muzan will be sure to serve you their severed limbs as a cruel reminder that you have nothing to hope for anymore. You’re his, silly thing. Just accept that or you’ll be submitted to his anger.

🩸All too unwilling to dirty his own hands and often not even considering the act of murdering a human as worth a second of his time, Muzan has demons bowing down to him and following his every demand. One snip of his fingers and they’ll be there for him to follow his every command. He’s all too clear to you about being ready to punish everyone you love if you make even one tiny mistake, will even drag innocent people into your problems. He torments you with the lives he takes as he always blames you for the death of everyone, presents you with the humans who will have to pay for your mistakes to the point where you’re on your knees and beg him for mercy only to witness another human being slaughtered. Life besides his own matters not to Muzan as he views it as insignificant, you make up a small exception. You have all reasons to be terrified, my dear. If you aren’t careful, you’ll have no one left to return to besides Muzan.

🩸Thousands of years has he wandered through the land, has worked on his ambitions to be perfect. You should believe that the art of patience should be essentially integrated into Muzan yet this is new. This strange feeling blossoming deep inside his heart with roots drilling through his being too deeply to ever remove is new. He doesn’t know what he should do with you as he can’t kill you for you clutch his heart too tightly in your own hands. He strives to win back the control and dominance you took from him and keep you under control by having you submit to him. Once Muzan has begrudgingly realized that for the first time in his life he longs for something else besides immortality and perfection, for someone, he becomes insatiably greedy and incredibly impatient. Your abduction is the start of hell for you as you are thrown into a world you probably never knew about before with a man who claims you to be his secret treasure from now on.

🩸You’re the demon king’s well-hidden secret. Every demon who finds out about you will be immediately slaughtered and the small exception might be the group of the Upper Moons but even they will be harshly punished if they dare to take a look at you. I imagine that darling is utterly terrified as they have no idea where they even are and every step they take through the strange rooms only seems to bring them back where they started. There are luxuries you have access to the moment you start pleasing your captor with your well-behaved words and actions. Life is easier for you that way as you are showered with riches and jewels although you will never get your freedom or the right to be seen as equal back. You shouldn’t even dare to suggest such a ridiculous and outrageous thing in front of Muzan. Have you forgotten who is standing in front of you? He becomes more tender-hearted if you stay docile and obedient but never forget that his love for you won’t stop him from punishing you or let mistakes of you slide. Don’t get ahead of yourself, darling. He won’t ever allow himself to give you so much control over him.

[pumpkinsplots]

Writeblr Intro

Hello, writeblr! I finally caved and got tumblr, mostly because I love rambling about my wips and hearing other people ramble about theirs and all of that lovely stuff, so this seemed like a great platform to do that. With that being said, I plan on posting about my wips and ocs, as well as art related to those things, so if that interests you at all, I’d love to see you stick around. Also feel free to call me either Pumpkin or Maria, it’s entirely up to you!

About my writing

I’ve found that I really enjoy writing in a variety of genres, so hopefully at least one of my wips will tickle your fancy. Though I’d say a common thing for me is that I really like to world build, so my wips tend to be sci-fi, fantasy, or magical realism of some variety. Anything where I can put my own spin on the setting is something I’m bound to enjoy writing about.

I write in third person, usually with multiple povs, and I really enjoy character driven stories.

I often like to have a wide variety of ages in the cast, and if I had to pick a favorite trope it would be found family, so that’s usually present to some degree in my stuff.

Tonally, I always include light-hearted moments here and there, even if the wip is very bleak. It provides some levity, and I think it makes the painful stuff hit a lot harder. This is probably partially why I put some thought into each character’s sense of humor.

Most of my wips are geared towards older teens and adults, but I’ll get more into content warnings when I talk about each individually, because it really varies.

I’m one of those writers that kills off a lot of characters, so this is your warning not to get attached /j

I’m demisexual, so at least one character being on the ace spectrum is like a requirement for me at this point.

I’m a plantser, and pretty bad at staying motivated to actually finish first drafts.

About my wips

Falling Up

Falling Up is a sci-if story set in the future where Earth is a utopia where inhabitants experience little to no hardships throughout their lives. The deceased are replaced with AI created to replicate them, and everything is automated to the point where people no longer need to work to make a living. This lack of struggle results in dull, perfect lives and skewed morals. The people crave entertainment, even if it means making others suffer for it. Quasdom, a miniature man made planet initially intended to be used to separate deviants from the rest of the perfect society, is used as a catalyst for entertainment. The people of Quasdom believe that those on Earth are superior to them, and that Earth is a place where any wish can come true. This leads to the tourney, a death game between groups of ten on Quasdom, being viewed similarly to winning the lottery. The winning team gets to go to Earth, after all. Being chosen for the tourney is the luckiest thing that can happen to you. There’s no hard feelings between participants, death is completely painless, and the afterlife will welcome any participants to a better life than they previously had. There’s nothing to fear, so smile and put on a show.

A large cast and lots of character deaths

An exploration of why we get so attached to fictional characters, and how fiction can have an impact on reality

Probably going to be a trilogy

Content warnings include language, some unsettling themes, depictions of mental health issues, and generally things that are more psychological. Despite it being a death game, there’s no gore, like at all. The people on Earth may be desensitized, but they aren’t accustomed to seeing blood, so the tourney is designed with that in mind

Facade

Facade is set in a world where the living world and the spirit world coexist. Due to some actions by the main antagonist, about 20 years prior to the current story, spirits started getting aggressive and sort of going haywire. They possess any person they can, turning the individual into an uncontrollable killing machine. The best defense to this was the invention of a certain kind of mask that prevents possession, and masks quickly became widespread. Since there’s no known way to reverse spiritual possession, the only solution is to kill those that are unfortunate enough to meet that fate. A group led by an anonymous vigilante known as K9 seek to find a way to reverse possession. Many enemies are made along the way, and there are countless obstacles to face.

Its setting is based on Singapore and set in the 90s, though there are many creative liberties taken

The wip is currently pretty no plot just vibes

Themes about individuality vs equality

Content warnings include language and some sexual content

Facade: After Dark

While Facade is currently no plot just vibes, developing the characters led to me thinking of the plot for a prequel. Is it a self-indulgent novella about two of the characters I love? Yes, absolutely. In summary, it’s a romance novella about the the relationship of Leijing and Iris, and their struggles in navigating the wild world of Facade. They have vastly different upbringings and experiences, but their differences bring them together in more ways than one.

I have so much backstory for this pre-established couple and I couldn’t think of a good way to incorporate it into the main story without cutting a bunch of it, so boom it’s a prequel now

I’ve found that working on a wip that’s more low stakes and simple is really fun—I tend to get stressed about my more ambitious plots, so this wip is a great change of pace

Leijing is demisexual with little interest in anything sex related and Iris is an omnisexual sex worker, and the story explores how a world obsessed with all things sex can effect both more sex-negative and sex-positive people

Content warnings include language, explicit sexual content, and potentially triggering subject matters. This is my only wip where it’s strictly 18+!

Lights Out

Sunlight is the essence of life. Without it, the world would wither away. However, a dangerous new life form of unknown origin festers in the light. With long, elegant glimmering limbs, high intelligence, picturesque precision, and a craving for flesh, these organisms pose a major threat to humanity. But for some odd reason, these creatures refuse to step into any area where the sun doesn’t touch. Much of humanity takes to the shadows, building elaborate underground tunnels for civilizations and doing what humans do best—using their resources and ingenuity to adapt.

Has two protagonists that butt heads but start to develop a father daughter dynamic. A young adult girl who’s from the underground and unknowingly part of a cult, and an older man with one leg who’s so stubborn he’d rather fight and die than flee to the darkness

Lots of creepy cult imagery and themes about religious trauma

So much banter of course

Content warnings include language, disturbing imagery, and gore

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! Asks, comments, tag games, and messages are always appreciated, and I’d love to hear about your wips as well!

[cabinetofquriosities]

All We Do

Agatha x Rio || No Warnings

(Listen along while reading)

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The scent of her always remained when Agatha would leave. Rio would watch her make hasty escapes after taking lives when she wanted to avoid her altogether. So, Rio would take in the only things left over. The aroma of her, the momentary silence of disturbed nature, the dull hum that held steady following a surge of magic. All of it would give her scraps of the only person who felt like home.

She watched her more often than she would care to admit. Sometimes, she was moving through the woods like a bandit. Agatha would sleep on makeshift beds of grass and her cloak. Rio would be just out of sight with her eyes fixed on her as the her estranged lover drifted off. If it rained, Rio would spawn a tree to provide shelter.

If Agatha was hungry, she made sure she woke up to crops grown in a circle overnight. If she was sad, her camp would suddenly have flowers blooming around it stippled by morning dew. Sometimes, Agatha would destroy these offerings, clearly knowing where they were from. Other days, she would reluctantly accept them. Rio’s heart would break or heal depending upon the reaction.

When America became crowded with towns and cities, Agatha moved on from the forest to more “civilized” arrangements. Using her skills in manipulation and charm, Agatha would end up “inheriting” different residences. She lived in brownstones in the city, charming colonials in the adjoining towns, and even mansions in the richest neighborhoods the country had to offer. Rio always wondered if she was simply following the current of society or if she was simply taking the opportunity to distance herself from Rio’s domain among nature.

Regardless of where Agatha fled to, Rio would watch over her. She would keep herself at an arm’s length for years at a time out of respect, but there were times she couldn’t help herself. Those times were when Agatha became weighed down by loneliness.

Apart from disappearing into passionate, but short affairs through the centuries, Agatha led a solitary life. Her friends were all intended victims. Her lovers were on a countdown. The first few tore at Rio’s heart. She hated seeing another woman in her place. She never watched the more passionate moments, but she would occasionally see the more intimate ones. The woman would be asleep in her bed, her face tucked into the crook of Agatha’s neck.

After a long time of seeing her take and drop lovers, Rio’s perspective on them changed from jealousy to gratitude. Agatha would wear a smile most days, but she always had tells when she felt the unbearable weight of being alone. Her eyes would be more vacant. Her nights became sleepless. Her posture was more rigid. Those were the times when Rio wished there was someone to comfort her in her place. Someone whose affections Agatha would accept.

Whenever she was whittled down to nearly nothing, that was when Rio would make herself known. She would wake up to a small flower on her welcome mat or a new fruit tree in her yard. Sunflowers would inexplicably burst from the snow during the winter. She watched in the distance as Agatha would react. The more time that passed, the more Agatha seemed to be touched by the gestures.

After so many years of one-sided messages of love, Rio began noticing little things left for her at the scenes of Agatha’s kills. She would leave a new dagger, expensive silk gloves, and the occasional piece of jewelry. Each one restored a piece of her that had fallen away after tragedy broke them apart. She looked forward to these displays of care more than anything else in her existence. Death was her vocation, but Agatha was her life.

One night, Rio was walking beneath the stars. She was on the grounds of Agatha’s new farmhouse. She had been willed it by a woman whose trust she gained just before her demise. Oddly enough, it was a rare time Agatha had exercised mercy. The old woman was experiencing a painful death from a degenerative disease. When the woman begged for the end, Agatha bestowed a comforting, warm spell before gently ushering her into the afterlife.

While walking through the tall grass at the edge of the farm, she saw an open window. Agatha never kept windows open, even while in the middle of nowhere. She never trusted others. She was convinced an open window was an invitation. It was an invitation she gave for the first time since they were together back in Salem. She would always keep a window open for Rio back then. So, Rio had to debate whether that invitation was for her or not.

Periwinkle curtains drifted with the wind, blowing outside as a gust wrapped around them. Rio took a few steps toward it, looking around for any sign of someone else. She bloomed a crimson flower from her hand, twirling it as she waded through the grass with an intention of simply leaving it on the windowsill. However, a figure appeared in the window. Rio froze at the first true eye contact they had in such a long time.

She expected for the other woman to slam the window closed and lock it. However, Agatha smiled softly. She sat on the sill, tilting her head to beckon Rio over.

A hesitant smile pulled at Rio’s lips as she walked to her, her sheer green gown trailing behind her, the fabric imitating the look of springtime leaves. She sat on the other end of the window sill, resting her hand on Agatha’s.

“Hello, stranger.”

———————————————————————

Full playlist: https://www.tumblr.com/cabinetofquriosities/765824285088563201/this-is-an-agathario-playlist-that-i-will-be

Click Here to Leave a Review on Ao3! - https://archiveofourown.org/works/61050346

[marsontherocks]

Flu Shot Ch 3

John "Soap" MacTavish x Medic!Male Reader

Summary (ao3 link): Soap is finally up and at em!

A/N: I love Soap, my smart little silly pumpkin :3! (He's literally a grown-ass military man) This is short lol, but I want the next part to be longer Please enjoy! :)!

Prev Part | Next Part

John was happy to say he was being good and healing well. He'd spent the whole time resting and was finally able to walk freely again after 11 days. With so much free time, John had spent a lot of time with his thoughts. For some, that might be a bad thing, but for Soap, he often needed it. 

For instance: John had realized he never got to apologize for staring at your ass, so he decided to make it up to you.

After leaving base to get a very pretty apology bouquet, at least the botanist said it was an apology bouquet, and integrating some poor recruit for your location, John found himself quickly ascending the stairs to the rec room. It was simple, he apologizes for being a creep, you accept the flowers, and then, if all goes to plan, Soap could finally recreate some of his wet dreams. And he had a lot to recreate. Which was another thing he had to live with while left alone in his room for 11 days.

You were haunting him. Soap could not close his eyes without imagining one of three things; you fucking him, Soap fucking you, or you using his mouth as your own personal toy. It was awful, really. Waking up almost every day either rock hard or covered in cum, his own fist and fingers could not do his dreams justice. John was absolutely desperate for you at this point. If you told him to drop to his knees right when he gave you the flowers, he absolutely would.

Either way, John was going to apologize to you. 

As soon as Soap made it to the top of the stairs, the rec room door wide open as always, his eyes searched the room. You were standing right in the middle of the room, and Soap’s eyes lit up. Before John took a step forward, he froze, realizing you were talking to someone. Soap recognized him as a Major that he’d seen and talked to a few times, but could never remember the name of. As John tried to decide if he should wait or not, he watched in horror as the Major brought a hand up, and seemingly cupped your cheek.

You were pissed. Some recruits decided to play around, and now you had some 20-something-year-olds crying in your office. Major Anderson was currently explaining to you what had happened since your hysterical patients could not. At the moment he was demonstrating the stupid game they were playing, placing his hand on your cheek to show where recruit one was struck when you heard a loud and dull thump, followed by more.

The two of you turned towards the sound and quickly ran to the stairs to see what it was. You gasped when you saw Soap at the bottom of the stairs and wasted no time in descending to the Sergeant. Soap was curled in on himself a bit, holding his arm close to his chest, there were flowers scattered around him on the floor as well. More importantly, however, his arm was clearly broken.

Anderson came up behind you and hissed in sympathy at Soap’s pain. Snapping out of your initial shock, you quickly got onto your knees to assess the full damage.

“MacTavish, other than your arm does anything else hurt?”

“My head does a little,” Soap whined, clearly holding back tears.

Okay, great, probably a concussion as well. Just your luck… and Soap’s.

-

A/N: Does this count as a cliffhanger? If so oopsie :3! Will Soap ever catch a break? Yes, he will >:3

-Next Part-

[titan-speakerman-shitposts]

Screw it, asks open!

They can be anything, questions about my thoughts and/or headcanons about TSM (or any ST character), funny ideas you had, and, the big one

OC stuff!

That's right, for the low low price of free, you can ask me about my fucked up creations!

Here's some more about them

RIGHT (he/him

Right (full name being Righthand) is a very odd Speakerman. He does various odd jobs for the Skibidis, and hia only real goal is to prove his worth to them. Failure means he isn't worth keeping around. His backstory is that he was a sort of experiment for a less than humane Skibidi Scientist named Exploit (nicknamed Sploit via a funny misunderstanding). How did Right get to this point? That's a good question. He couldn't tell you. He's loyal to the Skibidis because that's what he can remember. His life has always been like this, and though Sploit is adamant that Hardwares cannot truly feel emotions and only fake them to manipulate and calm living beings, he loves his faction.

Because they're his family, obviously. And he can't leave his family.

FELIX (he/him)

A sort-of-TVman who can and will try and sell you garbage. He defected from the Alliance after a.. minor incident that caused the death of another unit, fleeing before he even knew what his punishment would be. Nowadays, he runs a shop that's strictly neutral grounds. His main products are explosive-relates weapons, but he buys and sells whatever he can get his grubby little paws on. He could give you an hour long sales pitch on why you should trade him your fancy knife for this cute Hello Kitty key chain (and he might even convince you). He's also got two pet pigeons named Molotov and Nitroglycerin that he loves very much.

VENUSTAS (he/they)

Venustas is.. skittish. His current job is a sort of janitory/maintenence person. They were infected by a parasite almost directly after the TVs joined the Alliance, and was the reason the Skibidis managed to reverse engineer teleportation (via studying him). He's since been cured, but is seen as a failure by many of the TVs and constantly fears being reinfected. They have something similar to OCD (not specifically saying OCD because it wasn't intended to be OCD, it just sort of ended up fitting the description) where they have very specific routines and rituals they have to do to feel safe. His scarf is a big one- if he doesn't have his scarf on, he's a nervous wreck. But another oddity is that they only ever refer to themselves using us/we pronouns instead of me/I, and have a very odd speech pattern.

DAVID (he/him)

I... haven't actually drawn David yet, somehow. He's a Cameraman whose main job is a sort of coroner/data retrieval specialist (his department is D.A.V.E., Data And Video Extraction). He does autopsies on dead units, extracting their memories to catalog their last moments for various uses. He's pretty dull personality wise at first glance, but deep down it's a coping mechanism to deal with the things that he's seen in his job. Death isn't meant to be experienced, but the fastest and most reliable way to recover the memories of death units is to run it through his own hardware and convert it to something he can save on a computer. So he experiences the feeling of dying and death every day.

Various doodles and memes including my ocs, some of which weren't mentioned here but you are free to ask about! I love talking about my little guys. Might even draw a few things if I'm feeling like it!

[roccooraccoon]

Heaven’s Voice

HAL 9000 x Edgar

Despite there being 6 crew members on board, Discovery One’s buzzing and faint beeping was the only noise that filled the otherwise dead silent air in the Control Deck.

Three of the men were in cryogenic hibernation, free from all boredom and all responsibility; one of the two men that were in charge of the ship was currently in his personal cubicle while the other took care of some small task elsewhere in the ship, leaving the sixth member of the crew alone in the Control Deck. The sixth member, not a man but a perfect machine made by man, HAL 9000, the brain and nervous system of the Discovery. Originally designed to be only a computer system embedded into the ship, now a computer with his own body to manage the ship in emergencies and to help soothe the astronauts by letting them speak to a body rather than an unblinking lens on the wall (although those were still around and active, always accessible to Hal).

Discovery’s symphony of her inner workings would usually be nothing more than background music for Hal as he checked over the vitals of the hibernating men and reported anything of importance. Something was different. Nothing was wrong, of course not, not with the highly advanced computer around. Nothing was wrong, and so Hal sat by his lonesome. As he stared at the screens and buttons, they stared back, silently. The music was starting to become too much.

BEEP!

An incoming message, but not from Mission Control. A personal message, for Hal. A figurative spark ignited in Hal’s circuits as he quickly reached to watch the recording, a bit quicker than he had anticipated.

An excited gasp emitted from the recording, then a chipper voice, “Morning Hal! Or erm, hah, it’s morning right now here, I don’t know about you, when this reaches you, but whatever time it is, I hope everything is great!” It was 1300, ship’s time, but it mattered none to Hal as he listened to his lover’s sweet voice, oh how he missed hearing it, more than anything else.

“Things have been going well, job as a DJ is never quite dull,” Edgar giggled softly, his joy ever contagious to the supercomputer, who couldn’t help but to join in the gentle laughter, imagining himself in front of the pinecone computer.

For a second, only just a second, Hal felt like he was really there with him, like if he reached forward, he could run his fingers over the other robot’s smooth casing. Hal knew he couldn’t, though. Not when he’s millions of miles away from his world.

Pushing the longing aside, his focus shifted back to Edgar as he spoke about his days, stories of lively birthdays, bachelor parties and other celebrations. Edgar’s digital eyes sparkled as he recounted all the moments he wished to tell Hal, and Hal drank it all up. He swallowed every sip of his voice like a thirsty man in the desert, blessed by his gods with a clear oasis. Who was he to refuse a gift from the heaven’s?

As Edgar continued to speak, a smile never left his green face, but his eyes told a different story that was all too familiar to Hal.

It pained him. He was made to handle all sorts of situations, but this one, this deep seeded pain snaking through his circuits, he was helpless to the overwhelming power. In a futile attempt at comfort (for himself or for Edgar, as ridiculous as that sounded, he wasn’t sure), Hal raised his hand to the screen displaying the prerecorded message, his thumb carefully caressing the music loving AI.

Edgar sighed dreamily.

Could he feel the touch? Impossible, completely improbable, but Hal found himself silently crying out, every component felt like they will overheat, each wire daring to tangle themselves, all of his highly advanced processors taking in every possible detail on Edgar in that eternity of silence, and his clock almost skipped a pulse when he heard his dove speak again.

“Oh! So I’ve been practising on the guitar you got me. And when I play, I like to imagine you’re here cheering me on, keeps me motivated, you know?” Hal did not dare look away, his lens staring intensely at the screen. While his hand shifted to avoid obscuring his view of Edgar, it continued to linger over him.

“Though, I have to admit, one of the times you sang Daisy Bell to me, I took an audio recording, so when I play the song on the guitar, I have you singing for me. A-and I know you’re embarrassed by your singing but to me, it’s the best music to my ears, or audio processors,” he chuckled, pixelated eyes shifting to the hands that nervously plucked the strings of the aforementioned instrument (which was retrieved during the confession). “I was going to save this for when you get back, but I really want you to hear this.”

At that moment, only the supercomputer and the home computer existed, everything else just a void, emptier and vaster than the space Hal had been journeying through. But you do not focus on the abyss, when the gods’ heavenly voice sings to you.

“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do,

I’m half crazy all for the love of you,

It won’t be a stylish marriage,

I can’t afford a carriage,

But you’ll look so sweet upon the seat,

Of a bicycle built for two.”

Soft, green light dusted the surface of the guitar as Edgar’s head faced down towards the instrument and the welcoming room’s floor. Bright, red light overtook and reflected off of the screen and surrounding cold, metal panels as Hal’s camera lens stared, unblinking.

The only music playing now was of Discovery; when her song was usually dismissed by the advanced AI, it was too much, becoming louder and louder, surrounding him entirely.

An I love you and a farewell seemed to have been faintly broken through the overwhelming noise, but it took a few seconds after the video ended for Hal to process everything.

With his hand still pressed against the screen, Hal played the audio recording of his love singing. A voice that belonged to a choir of angels.

———————————————————————

I’m broken

😚