#but consider: i'm only a few hundred words or so from finishing the chapter

[a-model-of-propriety]

ah, the eternal struggle of "should i write or should i sleep?"

[thatdeadaquarius]

About your language brainrot. I see your "Reader's writing can't match tyvat's long and flowery writing" and bring you "Tyvat isn't used to books over 50 pages long so a short story to the Reader is a whole dictionary to tyvat readers".

Seriously, have you seen how thin the books are? They don't wrote novels, they write short chapters formatted in the way really old stories are. As in, summarizing all the events down into one smooth story then adding a few quotes. Fanfiction writers are insane. They will willingly sit down and write hundreds of words at a time. To them, a proper modern day story of maybe, oh 10k words or so, would probably be like the Oddessy itself.

If we were to combine the two headcanons. It would end up as many historians being intimidated by this insanely long written scripture in the language of the forgotten.

I'm going to take this a step further and say that if the creator asked some people to proofread their things, it would establish a hiarchy of who is able to actually finish the book the creator read and who isn't.

NOW THIS, THIS IS MY FUCKING JAMMMM

I'm so sorry this is so old!! u probably all know this by this point that I've really slowed down as the year has gone on, but I graduated university and then got my first job so its been pretty crazy!

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: dash of all the book/nerds of Genshin, heavy on Sumeru?

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing, 16+ Mature Audiences, Spoliers for Sumeru Archon Quests/Scaramouche, & Trigger Warnings: mention of shipping/characters shipping themselves with you.

Comment if any missed, please.

☆

FULL STOP.

THE AKADEMIYA, FONTAINE RESEARCH INSTITUTE, HAVE BEEN WAITTTINNGGGG ON YOUR ASS LMAO

You fall from the fucking sky like a 5 star, or pop out of the Irminsul or whatever

and immediately are mobbed by scholars. LMAO jkjk (not really, bc that's what it’d feel like)

can you even imagine the dread older stories(”the classics” to them), that was instilled in the poor students around Teyvat??

id like to think ur works are the most preserved over the thousands of years of Teyvat archeologists excavating them, in comparison to other authors (teyvat just likes you more, suck it William Shakespeare)

also, bc I cant resist language differences/world building I'm sorryyyy 😭 😭

the vocab of Genshin lang vs. ours, has significantly less vocabulary like their actual dictionary is 1/3 the size of ours type of energy

(Omfg all ur fanfics being considered like insanely long realistic romantic classics or tragedies like Jane Austen-level, and only the richest and biggest play companies put on plays about ur stories bc the script goes on for hours)

(ur plays only get put on for rlly big events bc of this, like Lantern Rite or like a Summer/Winter festival/your birthday, which is, yes, an international holiday)

dude the sheer power move of anything you’ve written being essentially “Journey of the West” to them, like Damnnn.

endless like adaptations, plays, Teyvat-short stories condensing it, (THEIR OWN FANFICTION ABOUT UR STORIES)

the power is, in fact, going to your head every time another scholar both deflates at how long ur stuff is, but also lights up bc they get to read it

speaking of scholars… you know who snatched you up first. you know. you don’t even need to read the next line.

Alhaitham.

sneaky bastard he is, absolutely manipulated, mansplained (and manwhored bc he knows he’s handsome, cheeky little shit) his way into getting you to sit down with him and interview you about both translating other classics, your own, giving your own analysis of others works and ur own, and picking ur brain apart of how/why you wrote urs, etc. its fucking endless,

Kaveh had to come rescue you bc u were starving to death after getting stuck with the Haravatat scholar in his office for nearly 7 hours of interrogation discussion about literature

and Alhaitham wasn't even nearly done, he’d informed you as you left that he already had another appointment for later conversation scheduled (how?? you don't even know ur own schedule??? you have a schedule???) and was looking forward to more of your “creative and enlightening input” :)))

(you’re never going to escape him, not even Nahida herself can save you from his stubborn ass)

On another note, Xingqiu is quaking when you agree to autograph his copy of your stories (of which he has all hard covers of the first edition translations)

Zhongli/Rex Lapis is known for having a near-lifelong passion for searching for your works specifically, and learning how to translate them better into Teyvatian vernacular

like the same way he can absolutely speak on Rex Lapis facts/rocks/adepti info, is the same confidence he speaks about knowing ur work lol

(yes he did also ask for several autographs and another sit-down talk about the works, tho a lot more sneaky then Alhaitham bc he just casually gets u guys into it during dinner)

Barbatos/Venti has written some of the most famous songs based on your stuff, he has his favorites too,

but he always claims the best songs are any that have been written in the story, like either when a character sings something, or there are like quotes from songs ur fanfics are based on lol

(he also demanded to hear what they actually sound like from you, yes, you have to sing them for him lol)

Venti also can surprisingly drunkenly ramble the entirety of at least one of ur stories, like, word for word lmao

(Diluc gave in and did give him a drink on the house for that one, just once, Venti doesn’t remember it lol)

(I forgot to mention, u guys still speak the same language, just like, different versions of it)

ur works being one of the few things all the Archons can freely talk about with each other, like it’s neutral ground bc they’re all fangirling about it lmao

Furina and Neuvillette have had like,, fierce debates over the decades about character dynamics and the general drama of ur stories, they’ve gotten into it enough they’ve stopped talking to each other for a couple days a few times lol

Albedo, Sucrose, Kokomi, Yae Miko, Ei, Raiden, have read every single work they’re gotten their hands on in Teyvat (it took them like a literal year or longer)

Albedo drew you fanart for every single story, bc he’s hyperfixated on everything related to you ngl,

Kokomi had commissioned smaller pocket versions of ur works (which later got popular thanks to Yae Miko) both the OG and the Teyvat shortened versions

THE HARBINGERS ARE THE MOST DOWN BAD LMAO

Childe has literally tried to recreate battle scenes from ur works lmao

and gets especially riled up about fighting someone who resembles any characters from them (esp villains, what a cutie)

You cannot fathom the amount of research throughout Teyvat that has been secretly or indirectly funded by Pantalone/Tsaritsa

from the experts to analyze them, to funding play companies to act them out, to actually excavating places to get more of ur stuff unearthed

(the Harbingers absolutely are the first group of people that got to read several of ur stories first bc of this, like the world’s most exclusive secret book club lol)

Scaramouche used to clown on Childe all the time about how he was too impatient to even “sit down and read the King’s classics”, and he was downright insufferable when he found out about Tartaglia’s habit of recreating battle scenes/that being what motivated him to fight sometimes lol

that being said, Wanderer surprisingly never forgot ur stories.

Even when his memories were wiped for a bit, he found comfort in these fantastical epics still sticking around, even when his old names did not

(he mayyyy or mayyy nottt have secretly namedhimselfafteroneofthetragicprotagonistsherelatesto- )

oh btw, Nahida also found joy and comfort in ur stories when she was trapped, they also helped her literally grow as a person bc she had ur stories to help her sort of process the world/what life was like outside of her dreaming prison 🥺💔❤️‍🩹

◇

OMFG

ANYWAY FULL TONE SHIFT LMFAO-

the ABSOLUTE SPIRAL-RED-STRING-CONSPIRACY-THEORY-BOARD ENERGY IF THIS WAS A BLUNT LANGUAGE AU LMAOOOO

like specifically how Teyvatians like to give all the context ever thru their words, but older deities/beings like you just do simple phrases that can have deeper meanings (whereas teyvat just explains all the meanings behind their words)

STOP there’s like an official display at the Akademiya and Fontaine Institute of red string theory boards 😭😭 (look what you’ve done to themmm LMAO)

for like every story of urs, INCLUDING THE FANFICS STOP

IMAGINE THE SHIPPING WARS IF U EVER WROTE ONE THAT WASNT EXPLICIT OR LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN ROMANTIC INTERESTS HAD CHEMISTRY WITH OTHER CHARACTERS HAHAHAHAA

that's actually what Akademiya scholars argue about the most viciously, it’s like politics you can’t just bring up ships from ur stories casually in regular convos 💀

(poor Cyno has to deal with a shipping war once a year bc someone always makes the mistake of reading ur work for the first time (without being told to not talk to others abt ships lol) and it starts an all out brawl in the cafeteria every time LMAO)

Also yes.

Cyno is a fanboy.

(he has read Creator x Reader-insert fanfiction.)

(As have most of the characters mentioned, and those not lol)

…

(I'm gonna make a whole Creator x reader fanfic post one day i stg lmao)

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :0

ok but real talk…

wtf do you guys wanna see for new years!!

i didn't do a inktober/october days thingy bc i felt too unprepared (and bc id wanted to post that 1000+ followers eldritch au for Halloween)

but now i kinda wanna, at least for a few days :o

ill post a poll in a minute, so check it out!! but still, please feel free to comment some ideas here! :)

Safe Travels Deafening Dreamer,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily

[arzuera]

Challenge! 20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @tathartiel!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

22. Though It would be 38 if you included all the individual one-shots in the two one-shot booklets.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

729,435 words. Which is a lot more than I was expecting! I never looked that up before.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment, DPxDC mainly. I used to write for Undertale and I have written for the Rune Factory series.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Robin's Egg with 14,291 kudos. It's, by far, my most popular on AO3. Though if we bring other Fanfic websites then The Call of a Mute Heart will be the top.

Summary: While out on nightly patrol, Robin finds a very injured Danny Phantom who is about to be forced back into his core. Now that the ghost boy is entirely defenseless, how is Damien going to protect the core from others? And even harder… how is going to keep Phantom's existence unknown to his family?

"Safe" House with 4767 kudos. This is surprising to me because this is just a 2 shot that I wrote on a whim. I didn't realize it was so popular.

Summary: Tim and Damian help Jason move safe houses. What was that in the backroom?

Rehoming with 2,607 kudos. Again, this is surprising. This is basically a one shot since I haven't finished part 2 yet.

Summary: Justice League cherry picks the Fenton research on ghosts and treats them like semi-'sentient' beings.

So Many Stars with 1,626 kudos. This one is my one shot booklet so this isn't so surprising.

An Envoy for a Night with 1,570 kudos. This is also a one shot and the first time I wrote an anger management fic.

Summary: Jazz attends a Justice League party as Danny's envoy. Chaos ensues.

5. Do you respond to comments!

I do try but it's hard. Robin's Egg gets a lot of comments and I love every single one! I'm constantly refreshing to see anything new in my inbox! But considering it can get a few hundred every chapter, it's hard to respond to every single one individually. But I do read them all and I appreciate all the love you give the fics I write.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm.... I guess, since it is currently on hiatus, Stay. It's literally about a suicidal main character who is trying to find themself in a new world with humans and monsters.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That has to be either "Safe" House or That's How the Story Goes. Most of the stories I write end happy. So I'm rating on HOW happy.

8. Do You Get Hate on Fics?

Yes, I do! For a while, there was an anon that was trolling the dpxdc fics that a lot of my fellow authors deemed the 'fetish' Anon. They would go to dpxdc fics and write a hate comment about how the author was fetishizing something or other in the fic when, if they read the fic, it never happened. This was the one I received on Robin's Egg:

Of course, none of this actually happened in the fic but it was just general trolling hate. Then there were the 4-5 anons who trolled me on AO3 AND Tumblr by demanding I write something the way they wanted too. Then the classic, YOU DIDNT WRITE THAT CHARACTER WELL!

It's been pretty calm for a while (knocks on wood. throws salt over her shoulder) but I have certainly seen my fair share of hate.

9. Do You Write Smut? If So, What Kind?

I do but none of you will see it~

I do not have that kind of courage.

10. Do You Write Crossovers? If So, What's The Craziest One You've Written?

The only crossover is DPxDC for me. I read a lot of crossovers, at least when I was more active in the Undertale fandom. Writing? DPXDC is the only one.

11. Have You Ever Had A Fic Stolen?

I have actually. My fic The Call of A Mute Heart, when it was still in the process of being written, was stolen a total of 5 times across various fanfic websites. Lemme tell you, it was hard trying to get it taken down on the websites I didn't have accounts on. I had to prove that I had the older files and everything x.x

12. Have You Ever Co-Written A Fic Before?

Yes! It's called Contractual Obligations and I was teamed up with @tathartiel for Invisobang. It was a lot of fun! Despite our different writing styles, we were really in sync in what we wanted to do and how we wanted to write it. Its a DPxDC fic where Ghost King Danny finds out he is the son of John Constantine by a demon trying to claim his soul via a soul contract. So now Danny has to make this thing void or else the Infinite Realms is in danger.

I will co-author with Tathy as many times as she wishes because it was so much fun working with her and we are already joined up to write a fic for another event.

13. What's Your All-Time Favorite Ship?

I don't really have a favorite but I do like a good Anger Management fic. I like to read lots of different ships though because its all in how its written, for me, if i will like it or not.

14. What's A Wip You Want to Finish But Doubt You Ever Will?

Anything on my Undertale list that's unfinished. I've tried going back to them. I really have but the spark isn't there anymore, unfortunately.

15. What Are Your Writing Strengths?

Mmmmm I guess my ability to make a conversation last for an entire chapter without it getting boring or repetitive. At least, from what I have been told. Sometimes exposition needs to happen but if done wrong it can bore or turn off a reader. Yet, I've only ever heard good things for the chapters that involve them.

16. What Are Your Writing Weaknesses?

Smut. No further elaborations~

17. First Fandom You Wrote For?

Technically, it was FairyTail but my true immersion into fandom was Undertale. I'd never been actively apart of a fandom until then and I still have fond memories of writing The Call of a Mute Heart every week, waiting for people to read it.

18. Favorite Fic You've Written?

You would think I would say my two biggest fics Robin's Egg or The Call of a Mute Heart but my favorite fic is It's a Case! for Rune Factory 4. I had so much fun writing it and tried my hardest to make it feel like a cutscene from the game and from the people who read it, I think I succeeded.

Now who should I tag... hmmmmmmmm.... @gilbirda and @susiron i would love to learn about you two :3

[vllixxi]

miracle ☆ bang chan [ 1 ]

❱❱ PAIRING﹕bang chan x reader

❱❱ WORD COUNT﹕ 9k

❱❱ SUMMARY﹕ Once upon a time, mankind were the unquestioned rulers of this world. That was until giant alien structures called Miracles appeared, somehow making gods of old and new reappear in the world. But these Miracles left unimaginable death and destruction in their wake, while some were blessed with the divine power of the gods that returned. Brave heroes rose from the ruins of their destroyed cities to protect the remaining humans. Those granted the power of Gods were named 'Espers.' And with their extraordinary powers, there is still a glimpse of hope. But only so much can be accomplished as the Espers fight amongst themselves, and as the Gods fight above.

( based off the game dislyte )

❱❱ WARNINGS﹕profanity, mentions of death, (not-so) detailed depictions of violence, blood, character death, mentions of alcohol.

❱❱ NOTES﹕ woo boy... this one took me a few months. I'm very excited about working on this though and I'll do my best to stay consistent about it. message me to be added to the tag list for this series, and please consider leaving a review :)

★ chapters ﹒﹒ masterlist

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

You had heard the news about the Miracles. Even if you didn't, it was hard to miss the giant otherworldly structure looming over the city of Gyrate. Upon its arrival, it left a giant crater in the center of the town you called home, taking countless lives... including your family. The Miracle had changed your life in multiple ways, yet you still took the risk by going out. You knew you shouldn't have done it considering the lurking danger, but you really needed to get groceries.

Everything was fine for a while. You were reaching the end of your shopping list and decided to try something different.

Strawberry jam?

You reached out, picking up a jar of the aforementioned jam. With a shrug, you put it back and picked up the blueberry jam instead, inspecting it closely.

Suddenly, sirens began to blare throughout the city, the sound alone making you jump and drop the jar.

—Crash! You flinched, stepping backward as the glass shattered and flew all over the floor. Time seemed to stop as the civilians around you scattered, screaming and looking for somewhere to hide as the sirens continued to blare.

You stood still in shock, turning to watch the crowd that ran around aimlessly outside the grocery store. The chaos was enough to cause a stampede and you began to worry for the city's safety as their screams echoed throughout the streets. The employee behind the store's counter ran over to the door, his hand reaching toward the lock.

A high-pitched screeching sound rang out as monsters flew into view and began to attack the citizens outside.

You had heard about the polygonal creatures that came from the Miracles. The Miramon were ruthless and beyond dangerous. If those who were in the center of the city the day the Miracle arrived didn't die on impact, they were finished off by the creatures that came shortly after. You clasped a hand over your mouth in shock and dropped to the floor.

How could they be this far out in the city?

The government swore they had everything under control and the Miramon would be contained inside the Miracle.

Slowly moving to peek out from the side of the aisle you were in, you watched as the people of Gyrate tried to defend themselves and hide. The traumatic sight of hundreds of people fighting for their lives and ultimately dying would never be erased from your mind. You couldn't do anything but watch.

You wish you would’ve turned away and ignored the people who cried out in agony and pain. You wished you put your hands over your ears and accepted your fate.

But you didn’t.

“There’s a kid out there!”

The words struck a chord in your chest as you watched a small girl with pigtails run to the door, frantically banging on it while everyone sat still and did nothing. Completely alone and afraid, the little girl gave up on entering the grocery store and ran towards the middle of the street, screaming "Help!" over and over again. The high-pitched cries of the child combined with the Miramon's screeching made you coil into yourself, internally begging and praying for someone, anyone to stop all the discord.

The girl's cries for help soon turned into screams of terror as a Miramon approached her, its pointy sword-like arm scraping against the asphalt below. As if an unknown force had taken over your body, you lept up from your spot on the floor and unlocked the store's door.

As the other civilians began to yell in protest, you ran into the street aimlessly, lunging toward the girl as the Miramon drew its sword back and moved to strike.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ " They're a hero. "

" Hero? I see nothing but a fool."

Someone smacks their lips in frustration.

" Of course, you would say that. "

As you come to consciousness, a blinding white light greets you. You groan in pain, attempting to shield your eyes as the light only grows brighter. Your eyes surprisingly adjust quite quickly, but all you can make out in the white void surrounding you is three figures towering over you.

"Where... am I?" You manage to grumble, sitting up as you gaze up at the blurry people in front of you.

"Hell."

"Hades!" One cries, turning to face the person who last spoke. A deep cackle echoes throughout the void, and the laughter would probably be contagious in any other situation.

"It's best to be blunt here. You died Y/N."

Before you can even spit anything out, you're interrupted by another powerful voice.

"You're not in hell, this is the In-Between. Here, we decide who we want to bless with our powers."

Our powers?

"We are the Gods. Specifically Thor, Heimdall, and Hades."

"What the fuck."

Hades' laughter reverberates throughout the endless void once more as the Gods finally come into view. Heimdall is the first to appear, and what a sight for sore eyes she is. The physical form of the God of Foresight and Surveillance is a tall, pale woman with flowing white hair. Her skin is littered with glowing inscriptions of old nordic language, along with her tethered snow-white robed clothing. Six wings sprout from the goddess' back, glowing lightly with a rainbow-like tint.

Hades follows not too far behind, only slightly taller than the aforementioned goddess. He wears a dark cloak that trails down to his feet, and the edges of the fabric dematerialize like flames in his wake. His skin is dark like coal and his facial features are covered by the skull mask on the upper half of his face. Despite this, you can make out the way his eyes crinkle as he grins at you.

Last but not least, the God of Thunder follows shortly behind Hades. Thor isn't as tall as his colleagues, but he still manages to be just as intimidating as them. The first thing you notice about the god is the giant hammer he carries... and his large orange beard. Other than that, nothing else about the god is noteworthy.

"Y/N, we don't have much time. But in order to save you, one of us has to bestow our powers upon you," Heimdall speaks quietly, crouching directly in front of you to catch your gaze with her piercing white eyes. You blink, utterly confused and baffled by the whole situation, and you begin to regret your previous choices. "We're giving you the privilege of choosing, so choose wisely,"

With Thor's words of advice, you gulp and start to really think about who to choose.

Until another person appears in the void.

All heads turn in the person's direction, who appears with a flash of light and a loud crash.

"Shit," Hades mutters, his eyes immediately darting towards Heimdall who shoots up from her spot in front of you. "Hades, I thought we had more time!" Her stern voice echoes throughout the white void and the newcomer beside you stirs with a groan. "I didn't summon him! This must be Hela's doing." Hades retorts, moving towards the man on the ground. You take a good look at him, watching him breathe peacefully as the Gods around you continue to argue. You can't make much of him out from where you're sitting, but he has a head of curly brown hair, mature facial features, and a giant gaping wound across his chest. Hades kicks his side, immediately waking the man up, who yelps out in pain and shoots up faster than you did previously.

"We don't have time for a complete and gentle explanation, so I'm just gonna give you the run-down. We're Hades, Heimdall, and Thor. To make it here you've made some sort of important sacrifice. In order to continue living in your world you must choose one of us to bestow our powers onto you."

You watch him breathe frantically, eyes wide as he stares up at Hades. He looks over at you before his gaze darts back to Hades.

"You- I—"

The man's words are cut short as the white void begins to rumble, the white slowly starting to fade into black. With a guttural groan and a painfully loud screech, another figure appears in the void.

A tall woman with a red glowing crown floating over her head makes her way to you, her long black veil flowing behind her. She wears completely black attire, a long translucent dress trailing down to her feet. Along her chest is a skeleton-like decoration, which accentuates her waist.

You no longer feel safe when Heimdall draws her sword from the hilt on her back, narrowing her piercing eyes at the woman who continues to draw closer. "Hela—" Hades starts, crossing his arms as the woman stops in front of him. "— Who is this?"

The Goddess of Death merely smiles, her gaze wandering over to the man beside you. She moves closer to him, offering him a hand. Hesitantly, the man takes it and allows the goddess to help him up.

"Why's that any of your concern? I summoned him, so his presence doesn't pertain to you, Hades." The grin she wears on her pale white face is nothing short of devious, and the man standing in front of her wears his fear on his sleeve. He trembles as the goddess takes both his hands, her grin fading into a soft smile.

"Don't look so scared, doll. I'm saving your life."

"—Absolutely not," Heimdall interjects, stepping between Hela and the brown-haired man. Hela furrows her eyebrows, the ends of her dress sparking into small blue flames as she visibly grows impatient. "You have no say in who I bestow my powers upon, move Heim!"

The man looks at you as you stand there in shock, and for some reason, he... smiles?

What kind of idiot smiles in a situation like this? "Hela, please. Your powers are too dangerous for the human world!" Heimdall pleads with the goddess before her, who grows angrier as her dress erupts into blue flames. In the blink of an eye, she darts toward you, reaching out with pure malice in her eyes.

You shield yourself with your arms only to be pushed out of the way by Thor, who uses his hammer to block the goddess' attack. She growls, balls of fire forming in her hands as she throws them in your direction.

"No!—" Heimdall lunges in front of you, shielding you with her angel-like wings. Her hands come up to hold your face, a melancholy frown on her lips. "I must bless you in order to get you out of here alive," she whispers, and her hands on your cheeks begin to glow white. You shake your head vigorously, trying to pry yourself out of Heimdall's grasp. But she holds you firmly in place. All you can do is scream in protest, begging her to let you stay. To save him instead. But it all just fades away... ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ Ding-dong! You flinch at the sound of your doorbell ringing, the sound ringing in your ears as you get up off your couch. The plush purple cushions call your name as you wander towards your door, expecting mail on the other side. You swing the door open, your face turning red as you realize there is a man standing outside and not a package from Amazon. "Oh!— I'm sorry... who are you?" You tilt your head at the stranger with platinum blue hair who stares back at you. He smiles professionally, offering his hand for you to shake as you stare at the intricate blue makeup on his eyes. He wears a striped blue, white, and red button-up shirt, along with a pair of black slacks. "I'm Hyunjin, a recruiter for the Esper Union. According to our radar, you have received a divine blessing, therefore—" "Not interested."

You try to shut your door quickly, but the man sticks his shoe in the way before you can reach the latch. He moves his face to the crack in the door and raises a single brow at you. "That's quite rude."

You let out an airy chuckle at the way he states that as if it isn't the most obvious thing in the world. You move in front of the crack as well, furrowing your brows at him. You recall that the Esper Union was founded by the people who were blessed by the gods, and they aim to protect humans and destroy Miracles. "I'm really not qualified to join the Union. I'm sure you're very busy and have other Espers to recruit—" "You're actually the last person on my list." You blink, chewing on your lip as the man continues to smile at you through the crevice in your apartment's door. He hums, crouching down to your hunched-over level to make direct eye contact with you. "I know what you did that day Y/N. You saved that child's life," He pauses, placing his hand underneath his chin as his smile fades into a more serious expression. "—She was a stranger, yet you took a sword through the back for her. We need people like you." "I just want to talk." He whispers, watching you rack through your brain for any other excuse to dismiss him. With a sigh, you pull the door back open and look down at your feet. "Fine. I'm sorry about the mess... I haven't had company in a very long time." He chuckles as he walks past you and into your living room, a slight smirk on his face as he wanders over to your couch and inspects your decorations. You shut the door, walking into the open kitchen as you watch Hyunjin stare at a picture of your parents. "Want anything to drink?" You ask, and he hums in thought for a moment. "White wine?" He requests, turning around with his arms folded behind his back. You hold back a laugh and nod instead, fishing a wine glass out of the cabinet as the Esper continues to inspect your living room. "Sounds kinda irresponsible to me, considering you're working." Hyunjin jumps at the sound of your voice directly behind him and spins around on his heel, not missing the way you smirk. He smiles and gently takes the glass of wine from your hand, shrugging the slightest bit. "I suppose you're right." He follows you over to your couch, sitting down in the most elegant way possible as you slump down on the other side of the sofa. You sit in silence for a few minutes before he speaks up. "What happened?— I mean... with your parents?" You pull your legs up on the couch, leaning your head back with a soft sigh. "They lived in the center of the city." You mutter, turning your head to watch how Hyunjin's face contorts in sadness. "I'm very sorry for your loss." "Aren't we all?" At your words he hums in response, taking a sip of his wine before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. "Have you been hiding here since..." "—Since I died?" He nods. "I wouldn't call it hiding. I really can't go outside anymore." Hyunjin turns his head to look at you, tilting it slightly with a perked brow. "What do you mean by that?" He asks, blindly reaching for his glass as he stares at your emotionless face. "Everything's really loud." He smiles into his drink, nodding slightly. "I know what you mean." "No, I mean everything's really loud to me." You deject, sitting up from your sad little spot on the couch to get your point across. "—Anything that's remotely loud makes my ears ring." "I see..." He replies, taking a mental note of your condition as you point to the sound-proof earmuffs sitting on the table. "I have to put those on when the sirens go off. Otherwise, my ears bleed." Hyunjin puts his glass down and starts to reach for the earmuffs, but time suddenly seems to stop as Hyunjin leans forward and his glass slowly starts to fall over. In an instant, you push him backward and grab the glass of wine before it topples over and spills. Time starts to move normally again and you take a sip of the liquid with a shrug as Hyunjin stares at you, astonished. "That's a thing too. I can somewhat...predict the future?" You mutter uncertainly, placing the glass back on the table as Hyunjin gently rests his hand on your forearm. "Y/N that's—" "Useless?" "—Magnificent."

Hyunjin finishes his wine, stands up from the couch, and pats you on the back with a gentle smile. "I'm afraid we're out of time, but I'll be in touch." You shoot up from the sofa, escorting him to the door as he hums softly. As he moves to walk outside your apartment, you grab the sleeve of his button-up shirt, feeling a tad bit embarrassed when he looks back at you with a perplexed expression.

"How soon will you be in touch?" You ask, feeling slightly less embarrassed when Hyunjin smiles softly at you. "I'll text you tonight about what my superiors say. But I'm very sure they'll want you working with the Union as soon as possible." You smile at his words, nodding as you let go of his sleeve and allow him to walk out into the hall.

He turns around before spinning back around just as quickly, pointing at you. "One last question— Do you know who blessed you?"

You blink, recalling the events that led up to you being blessed by the Goddess of Foresight and Surveillance. The recollection alone strikes fear into your body as you ponder the fate of the man who was in the In-Between with you.

"Heimdall."

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶��� The text you received that night from Hyunjin was indeed an invitation to join the Esper Union, albeit a bit unprofessional on the recruiter's half (considering he additionally offered to take you on a date.) Soon you would come to learn that Hyunjin's personal invitation was not a rare occasion because he was, in fact, blessed by the God of Love. "So like...Cupid?" You ask, watching the way Hyunjin's expression contorts into one of annoyance. He takes a sip of his coffee, a cold brew specifically, before placing it down on the table in front of him. "No- Eros." He replies sternly before he redirects his gaze to stare at the decorations of the coffee shop you're in. You stifle a chuckle at how easy it is to rile him up, taking a sip of your own coffee before leaning forward. "So what are your powers? Do you shoot people with a tiny bow and arrow and make them fall in love?" Hyunjin crosses his arms in retaliation, furrowing his brows at such an offensive accusation. "Absolutely not! Do you know how ridiculous that would be? How could you even think that I—" Hyunjin's angry monologue is interrupted by your laughter, and he suddenly realizes why you're pressing the matter. He smirks, shaking his head as you continue to laugh at him. "I see. You're trying to get a rise out of me by making a mockery of my blessing. Very clever." He sighs, checking his watch before standing up and pulling his jacket off his chair to put it back on. "While this date has been fun—" "Not a date." You interrupt, pointing at him accusingly as you stand up in turn, unable to miss the way he frowns. "You tease me too much." He replies, disappointed and a bit dejected by your previous statement. All you can do is giggle in response and shrug as you make your way toward the door, throwing your empty cup away on your way out. "It's fun!" You chime, practically skipping to Hyunjin's car as you walk down the street. He opens the door for you, like the gentleman he swears he is, and closes it once you get in. When he sits down in the driver's seat you turn to look at him, the anxiety of moving to the Union Headquarters finally settling in. "I told everyone to keep it down today— because of your hearing." Hyunjin's voice pulls you out of your thoughts, interrupting your nerve-ridden stupor. "You didn't have to do that... but thank you." He smiles, keeping his eyes on the road as you fidget in your seat. Hyunjin glances over, his smile fading into a concerned frown. "What is it?" He asks, and you're glued to your seat as your mouth goes dry. The memories come flooding back as you remember the white void. Hela's violent nature and blue flames consume your every waking thought. She wanted you dead— But why? You weren't an obstacle to her goals, yet she targeted you in the moment. Maybe she was just taking her anger out on the closest thing. And the man... what if she got a hold of him? What if she blessed him, or worse... —What if she killed him? "Y/N!" You jump in your seat, your ears ringing slightly from the volume of Hyunjin's voice. He looks at you with distress in his eyes, and his eyes widen when he notices you wincing in pain. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... You weren't responding, I thought something was wrong!" He frantically apologizes, reaching over to grab your hand. He gives it a quick squeeze before sighing quietly, nodding towards the building you're parked in front of. "I was trying to tell you that we've arrived at the Union. I'll get all your bags." You move to get out of the car but Hyunjin locks it as you reach for the door handle. "I'm getting your bags." He states, narrowing his eyes at you as he practically dares you to get out of the car. You perk a brow as he attempts to open the door, only to lock it just like he did. "Really?" ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

"Are you sure you don't need help unpacking?" Hyunjin asks from your door, watching you as you start to hang up your clothes in the closet. "Yes I'm sure, you've done enough for me Hyunjin. Thank you." You hear the man sigh, and the familiar click of his shoes as he walks up behind you. You turn around slowly, giving him a soft smile before he reaches out and places a hand on your arm reassuringly. "You'll be meeting the head of the research department soon, he'll want to run tests on you and your abilities… Please don't feel obligated to do what he says because he can get carried away. And if you need anything please let me know." He gives you one last smile before turning away and walking out into the hall, waving goodbye as the door slides shut and you're left alone. As you finish unpacking your bags, your phone buzzes on your bed. —Dinner at 7:30 in the penthouse. It's supposed to be "formal" but you don't have to wear anything extravagant. Sit beside me? 🥺 You chuckle at Hyunjin's emoji choice, checking the clock to confirm that you have half an hour to get ready. You plunder through your closet before you settle on a white, lacey button-up and black dress pants. You shoot Hyunjin a text back letting him know you'll be there and of course, you'll sit beside him.

With 5 minutes to spare, you make your way out of the living quarters and towards the elevator. During the few hours you've been at the Union, you've realized how painfully white everything is. The walls are white, the floors are white, even the decor is white. And as the metal doors slide open, you realize even the elevator is white. You step in and turn around, examining the buttons— Right up until you hear the frantic footsteps of someone running down the hall. "—Wait!" You flinch, looking outside the elevator as a man with black hair runs in your direction. You finally realize what he means by 'wait' and catch the elevator door with your foot before it shuts all the way.

"Thank you so much!—I would've been late if you took off without me!" He steps into the elevator and turns around, reaching in front of you to press one of the buttons. The elevator doors shut quietly.

On the way up you study the raven-headed man, who wears a light red cardigan, a black shirt, and khakis. He checks the time on his phone and mumbles something about spending too much time on his hair. He looks at you and grins, his freckled cheeks turning a light red color in embarrassment. "I'm sorry— I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Felix." "Y/N." You reply simply, giving him a warm smile before you gaze up at the LED lights that indicate what floor you're on. The elevator suddenly jolts, then chimes to announce you've arrived at the penthouse. The doors slide open, revealing the penthouse's magnificent lobby. The floor is a brown marble-y texture that clicks underneath your shoes as you step out of the elevator. Felix points ahead, his gold rings shimmering underneath the chandelier's light as he nods toward a pair of doors.

"The dining room is straight ahead— I thought I'd let you know since you seem new."

You nod in response, following the freckled male into the dining room, and flinch as loud music echoes throughout the room. Just as you expected, a long dining table is in the center of the room and there's barely any room for anyone else to sit down. You scan the room, making eye contact with Hyunjin and immediately darting across the room to him. You try not to plug your ears but fail miserably as the high frequencies in the music makes your ears start to ring louder than they ever have before. Hyunjin senses your turmoil as you sit down in the chair beside him and he snaps to grab the attention of someone across the room. You follow his gaze, finding a wide-eyed man sitting near the end of the table. He tilts his head at Hyunjin, his bunny-like headphones going lopsided as he smiles at the Esper recruiter. Hyunjin makes a 'cut it off' motion, and the man at the end of the table turns off the music with a wave of his hand. A few people groan in protest, but a powerful glare from Hyunjin instantly shuts them up. You unplug your ears, wincing as you try to recover from the screeching ringing that still lingers in your ears. You thank Hyunjin by squeezing his hand underneath the table, not minding the way he interlocks your fingers and squeezes back.

The room goes silent as someone at the head of the table clinks a fork against a glass, and all eyes are on the man who stands up, holding up a glass of red wine.

"That's the founder of the Union," Hyunjin whispers, leaning back so you can get a good look at him. He's quite tall and wears an all-white suit adorned with intricate details. From your seat, you can make out golden lightning bolts and clouds decorating his sleeves and coat. The man flashes everyone a charming smile, tilting his glass towards your section of the table. "First of all, I want to thank you all for coming. I know everyone's been working quite hard at the Union lately and I hope this meal will serve as a reward for your performances—" The founder pauses to clear his throat before continuing his speech. "—And I know there are a few new additions to our team, whom I wish to personally congratulate and encourage to stay with the Union until the world no longer needs us. You have a lot ahead of you and I can only say that it'll be completely worth it." The founder of the Union smiles once more before he raises his glass, signaling the whole room to erupt into cheers as glasses clank against one another. Before you can even think to cover your ears, Hyunjin has you covered and does it for you. You smile softly at him, mouthing a 'thank you' as everyone starts to eat the extravagant food placed before them. When the room calms down, Hyunjin pulls his hands away and starts to eat, leading you to mirror his actions. You finish your dinner faster than you want to and feel your stomach begin to churn in response. Who could blame you? —The food was just that good.

One by one people begin to finish their food and excuse themselves from the table, and soon enough Hyunjin nudges you to tell you he's leaving.

"I can take you back to your room if you'd like?" He suggests, and you shake your head. "It's fine— I think I'm going to stick around a little longer and try to make some friends."

At your reply, Hyunjin chuckles, standing up from his seat as he shoots you a quick wink. You watch him as he moves toward the head of the table and pats the founder on the back. They engage in a passing conversation before Hyunjin leaves, and you're alone once more. You stare at the red tablecloth in front of you, trying not to eavesdrop on the conversations around you. Your advanced hearing makes it way too difficult, and before you know it you're completely immersed in the founder's conversation at the end of the table.

"Sir, we can only hold these Miramon at bay for so long. If we don't contain the Miracle soon—"

"I'm aware Yeji. Why must we discuss these things now? This is supposed to be a celebration."

"Because as more time passes by, the less you care about what's happening out there."

"That's ridiculous." You watch the founder scoff before he takes a sip of his drink, slanting his eyes at the woman with an eyepatch on his right. The woman looks young but holds a sort of mature aura about her, sporting a gray dress with her dark hair in an elegant updo. She tilts her head at him, furrowing her brow as he downs an entire glass of wine in one go.

"Is it? Everyone at this table is playing some sort of crucial role in destroying the Miracles while you sit in your room all day and—" He slams the glass down on the table and the room falls silent. The founder lets out a fake laugh, waving a hand at the concerned faces that stare him down. "That was an accident!— Carry on."

The woman shakes her head in disapproval before standing up quickly, tossing the napkin that was previously on her lap onto the table.

"Do not speak to me again unless I am requested for a mission."

You watch his face fall as the woman walks towards the exit, her arms folded and lips screwed up furiously. You chew on the inside of your cheeks, cursing yourself internally for listening to their personal conversation like that.

The partygoers only remain quiet for a moment before they disregard the woman's sudden exit, and you decide that you're too tired to stick around any longer. Without a word, you stand up from your seat and shuffle out of the room, letting out a sigh of relief as the door shuts behind you.

"Are you not a party person either?"

The voice startles you, along with the person standing right beside the entrance to the dining room. You practically jump out of your skin, unable to hold back the yelp that escapes your mouth. The stranger laughs, too entertained by your reaction to muster up a proper apology. You glance at them, a bit embarrassed but slightly offended.

"My bad," The man with blonde hair utters, a Cheshire grin on his young face. He offers you his hand, which you shake politely. "I'm Jeongin. I've never seen you around here— which isn't saying much considering I don't leave my room unless I absolutely have to."

You smile at the realization he has halfway through his sentence, pulling your hand away as he sips the drink he holds in his other hand. Unlike most of the Union, Jeongin has taken the "formal" part and completely disregarded it. Instead of a button-down and a suit jacket, Jeongin wears a simple gray hoodie and black sweatpants.

"Just got here today and—you really didn't plan to stay after dinner, did you?" Jeongin chuckles at your question, shrugging halfway as he offers you his drink. You decline it with a wave of your hand, and he takes another sip. "Well I'm not going to dress up for an event I don't plan to spend more than 10 minutes at..." He trails off as the music turns back on inside the dining room, then nods at the elevator.

"I'm heading back to my room now— Care to join me?"

You're not sure if he's inviting you to his room or asking you to escort him... Either way, you want to leave just as bad as him. So you nod in response and follow him into the elevator, leaning up against the wall as he presses the button for the 4th floor.

It's not until you reach the 4th floor that Jeongin speaks, clearing his throat as the elevator doors slide open. "So... What made you want to join the Union?"

The question is oddly conversational for someone as antisocial as him, and you take a moment to think about it before responding. Your footsteps echo in the hallway as he awaits your answer, watching the cogs turn in your head as you look ahead.

"I was tired of hiding."

He stops in front of a door, turning to scan his keycard. The door slides open as he turns around to face you, taking a step back into his room. He leans against the doorframe, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"Hiding from what?"

You're not even sure what you had been hiding from all this time. And the list of things you're hiding from can't be fixed by joining the Union.

You blink, watching a slight smirk appear on Jeongin's face. You shake your head and shrug, tucking your hands in your pockets as you begin to rethink your answer.

"Now that I think about it— that's not why I joined."

"Then what?" He asks, watching your blank expression mold into one of slight embarrassment.

"I was lonely."

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

"You want me to do what?"

The head of the research department's expression remains blank as you stare at him, a dumbfounded look on your face as you hold a pair of sound-proof headphones in your hands.

He remains stoic, with only a hint of emotion in the sigh he lets out.

"I want you to put those on while I play different frequencies. Then, I want you to tell me what those interns are talking about," He repeats himself, gesturing towards two men standing by a coffee pot outside the glass room you're in.

"That's impossible."

The doctor's patience is growing thin and you can tell by the way he looks at you as he places his mug on the table in front of you.

"That's the point Y/N. We're testing how possible the impossible is to you."

Before you can reply he holds up his hand, walking over to his desktop across the room and ignoring your huff of annoyance. "Headphones on." He demands, and you comply.

At first, the tone that plays in the headphones isn't that noticeable. But over time, the sound grows increasingly louder and more irritable. You flinch as it reaches a certain point, gesturing at the doctor to turn it down. He raises a brow, abruptly cutting the sound off completely and walking back over to you.

"Does that hurt?" He asks as you slide the headphones off, nodding slightly as he picks his mug back up and takes a sip of his coffee. He hums in thought, a faraway look in his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling.

"Let me try something else." He mutters, wandering back over to his computer as you put your headphones back on and pray he isn't going to hurt you. The tone from before starts to play again, but with the press of a button, the noise no longer hurts your ears. It sounds slightly different, but without the ringing in your ears, it's much easier to make out what the interns are saying.

"—I cant believe we’re already sending the new recruits on a mission. I mean… they just got here!” One intern exclaims, pressing a few buttons on the machine in front of him before the coffee pot slowly starts to fill up with a familiar brown liquid.

The other intern shrugs as he fills his disposable cup with creamer. “Hyunjae wouldn’t approve of the commissioner’s plan if he thought it was ill-advised- besides. You have to have a little more faith in them… They’re practically superheroes.”

Your mouth practically drops to the floor as you take the headphones off, eyes wide as you stare at the doctor.

Seungmin practically trips over himself to get to you, a concerned expression on his usually stoic face. “What? Did it hurt again— Why are you looking at me like that?”

“They’re sending us on a mission already?” Your voice trembles, and the doctor notices how your hands have started to shake.

“Oh Christ— you weren’t supposed to hear that.” Seungmin sighs heavily, reaching up to rub his temples in frustration as you continue to overthink. “Look (Y/N)… You have plenty of time to prepare for this mission, and it will be light work compared to what you’ll be doing in the future.”

“What?!”

“Oh I made it worse…”

Seungmin takes the headphones, shaking his head slightly as you shoot up from the chair and dart out of the glass room. The research department is calm compared to the rest of the union, completely silent, save for the constant clacking of unpaid interns' keyboards. You stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd of pinkies as you wander around aimlessly, sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

You overhear the strangest of things that don't make a bit of sense without context.

"Chan said the briefing for the mission will be this afternoon. I just don't understand why we're rushing into this... I know that Hyunjae trusts the commissioner with every ounce of his being— But these recruits aren't ready for anything." You huff, overhearing a phone call that you should've just ignored. Your feet carry you towards the elevator and before you know it— You're standing outside of Hyunjin's room.

You knock once and the door instantly flies open.

Hyunjin looks stressed, angry, and annoyed all in one screwed-up expression. But when he realizes it's you— It all fades away.

"Oh— Why didn't you text me? I would've ordered food and-" He's abruptly cut off by your hand over his mouth and he realizes that you're not coming over to hang out.

"What do you know about the mission they're sending us on?"

He sighs as if the entire weight of the world is on his shoulders, and moves away from the doorway so you can enter his dorm. Wordlessly, you slip through the door and it slides shut.

Hyunjin gestures for you to sit on his bed and you comply as he pulls up a chair, spinning it around so he can sit on it backward. "How'd you find out?" He asks curiously. You simply tap one of your ears.

"Ah— Right. Well... I don't know much considering I'm not in control of that kind of thing. But I do know you'll be collecting a large piece of the Miracle for research." Your eyes widen and you can't help but throw your hands up in protest. "I know, I know! Just... don't think the worst yet—" "Don't think the worst?! Christ, Hyunjin— If the Union's most powerful Espers can't keep the Miramon contained, how do they expect a bunch of rookies to— not only enter the Miramon's domain— But extract a piece of a Miracle?!!" "Stop freaking out!" "I'm not freaking out!"

Hyunjin stares at you with a blank expression and you realize you're painfully tugging at the roots of your hair.

"I'm freaking out."

Hyunjin lets out an airy chuckle and reaches for your hands as you release your hair with a grumpy huff. You purse your lips before laying your hands flat on his palms. "Look Y/N, I know it sounds difficult and a bit impossible but— I know the commissioner. He wouldn't set you up for failure because you all have amazing potential— You especially. Please just listen to what he has to say at the briefing this afternoon."

He squeezes your hands in reassurance and all you can do is smile.

"I will." ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ "What are you doing here?"

Your voice comes out a bit sassier than you'd like, but when Felix turns around with a big grin on his face, you know he took it the right way. "For the briefing, of course. Why else would I be here, silly?" You smirk at his effortless charm and note his casual clothing. His black hair is a bit messy with bits of fringe hanging over his eyes, but he's just as cute as always.

"I thought you had been here a while." You reply, watching his grin grow wider. "Does a week count as a while?" He retorts and you shake your head with a chuckle.

Your conversation is cut short as silence overtakes the control room you're in, it's eerily dark and you can't make out anyone other than the people directly beside you. You stand at the bottom of the room, looking up at rows of computers and a balcony overseeing the area. A shadowy figure now leans on the railing of the balcony, accompanied by two other silhouettes. "Jeez— Can we get some lights on in here?"

The eery figure has lost all frightening qualities as the lights flicker on to reveal the founder of the union. He smiles, and the people you stand among begin to murmur in awe.

"Yes I know— You weren't expecting me. I just thought I'd pop in and give you some inspirational words before I let the commissioner say his piece. I know your first mission can be a bit scary and—" You immediately tune out the founder, not caring much for his ramblings as you realize the two people behind him are having a heated passive-aggressive argument.

"— I can't believe I agreed to this. These poor people aren't ready for what we're about to put them through." "You always question my judgment Yeji, why is nothing ever good enough for you?"

"I'm not even questioning your judgment, I'm outright ignoring it at this point!— He's going to fall off the railing."

"Why can't you just stop worrying— " "— It's my job to worry! No one else around here seems to do that. You just keep fueling a fire that we won't be able to put out once he goes too far." "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means we won't be able to stop him when he goes off the rails."

The argument comes to an abrupt end as the woman storms off, her heels echoing just as they did a few nights before. The founder pauses for a moment to watch the door slam shut before he shrugs and continues his exhausting speech

"— Anyways... I'll be giving the floor to the commissioner now. Remember that my door is always open if you need me. Goodbye!"

And with that, the commissioner is the only one left standing on the balcony. He steps forward, his facial features difficult to make out in the dim lighting. He clears his throat awkwardly, smoothing out the navy blue military-like uniform he wears.

"Unlike the founder— I'm not the best at keeping things soft and encouraging. So I apologize if I can seem a bit... aggressive. I'm just as passionate as him, but realistically." He clears his throat once more before leaning over the balcony. "Can you all move a bit closer— I can't see you that well." A few uncertain mutters fill the room before you collectively move up the stairs to stand directly below the balcony.

You keep your head down, avoiding any direct eye contact with the commissioner. You want to get a look at him— But you don't want to be rude.

"— As I was saying. We have three weeks to prepare for the mission." He presses a button on the control panel beside him to pull up several diagrams and notes on a hologram in the middle of the room. You turn around with everyone else and stare at the projection in awe.

"Firstly, we must carefully and quickly travel to the center of the city. This cannot be done through vehicle transportation because they are too loud and noticeable. So we will have to efficiently travel on foot at a certain point. Secondly, when we arrive at the Miracle we must split up into tactical groups. One group will escort another to a pillar of the Miracle where we will extract a large chunk of its material. A third group will reside on the outskirts of the Miracle's crater and distract slash terminate any Miramon that get too close. Once we have the extracted piece of the Miracle, we'll leave the way we came." "Oh my god, we're going to die."

Felix's mutter is easily heard by the rest of the group, and you can't help but let out an awkward giggle. You glance up at the commissioner, who is finally visible thanks to the light of the hologram illuminating his face. He's shorter than you expected, but he has a more muscular build. He looks irritated, his round face screwed up in frustration as your fellow recruits continue to mutter and mumble.

He sighs deeply as he runs his fingers through his short black hair, annoyance seeping through every crevice in his body. He clears his throat again, this time a bit more firmly and with a sense of warning. The room falls quiet.

"I know this sounds difficult, but I assure you that you will be trained by the best of the best. Tomorrow we will begin training at 9 o'clock sharp. Be there on time."

And with that, the commissioner turns around and starts to make his exit.

"Oh— I almost forgot. My name is Seo Changbin. Don't forget it." ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ "Where are we going?" Felix's question falls on deaf ears as you practically drag him down the hallway, leading him to the dorms reserved for the higher-ups. You stop in front of Hyunjin's door, knocking once, and just like before, the door slides open instantly.

You aren't expecting Hyunjin to be in the middle of his skincare routine, and the sight of his hair pulled back by a pink bunny headband has you reeling. "This is why you text people before you randomly show up at their door!" He exclaims as you enter the room, giggling as you tug Felix in with you. The door slides shut as you let go of Felix's arm and wander into the kitchen, searching for any morsel of food you can find. Felix stands in the middle of the living room awkwardly, eyeing the recruiter's decor. "How'd the briefing go?" Hyunjin asks, almost like a parent asking a child how their day was at school. You let out a giggle, snatching a box of cereal out of the cabinet. "A bit... hectic. The commissioner seems a little scatterbrained." You hear Hyunjin chortle from the bathroom as you plunder through his cabinets for a bowl. He suddenly appears in the kitchen to help you. "Changbin isn't the most organized. He's most certainly not the brains behind the missions. That would be the head advisor Yeji... she can be a bit too advisory sometimes and— You brought Felix with you?" Hyunjin pauses, whispering frantically as he realizes Felix is standing in the middle of his living room. You shrug in response. "Yeah, do you not like him or something?" You ask, stuffing your mouth full of dry cereal. Hyunjin curls his lip in disgust as you chew loudly, before ultimately shaking his head and grabbing the milk out of the fridge. "Not in the slightest, he's lovely. I just wish you'd let me know beforehand. I'm not exactly dressed to impress." At his response you roll your eyes, snatching the milk out of his hand as he gestures at the pink bathrobe he's wearing. "Can I have some too?" Felix asks meekly, peeking his head in from the living room. Hyunjin smiles, nodding gently as you fill your bowl full of cereal. As you expected, Hyunjin and Felix get along just fine. You eat a few bowls of cereal before you ultimately call it a night and take Felix to his dorm. The freckled man sighs deeply as he presses the button to open his door, glancing back at you slightly. "That was nice. Hyunjin isn't who I thought he was." You chortle at his words, perking a curious brow. He leans against his doorframe, giving you an odd look. "What do you mean?" You pry, watching his expression change to one of embarrassment. "Ah— I just thought he was a tad bit arrogant at first," Felix replies, his face flushing as you continue to laugh. "I can see where you got that from... I'll see you tomorrow." You deject, stepping away from his door slowly. Felix smiles, his eyes crinkling as he raises the corners of his lips. "9 o'clock sharp." He replies with a wave, and you return the gesture. The walk to your dorm isn't that far (thankfully,) and you make it back in one piece. The moment your door slides shut, you faceplant into the warmth and comfort of your bed. Your moment of peace is short-lived as you hear someone clear their throat, causing your bones to nearly jump out of your skin. "What the fuck, Seungmin!" The doctor stares at you with his usual blank expression, only this time, the corners of his lips have turned upwards into a smirk. The brown-haired doctor tilts his head at your reaction, acting as if he isn't sitting in your chair, in your room, uninvited. "Why are you in here?" You ask, sitting upright on your bed as you glare at the doctor. He shrugs, tapping a button on his watch to project a hologram. "Out of curiosity, I was checking over your medical records. Specifically, right after you received your blessing." You lean forward on your bed as he enlarges the hologram, then you realize what he's showing you. It's a video of you in your hospital bed, still in a coma. You're tossing and turning endlessly, jerking violently as you try to escape seemingly nothing. "— Save him!" You see his face. "Heimdall—Please just save him from her!" You see Hela. "— Don't let her take him!"

The video cuts off abruptly and you realize you've been crying the whole time. You furiously wipe the tears off your face as Seungmin makes the hologram disappear. "Well, I wouldn't consider that 'medical records.' Regardless, what does this have to do with anything?"

"Something happened in the void when you met Heimdall. Whatever happened could be crucial to saving t—" "I assure you, prying into my personal experiences won't destroy the Miracles. Please— Don't sneak into my dorm ever again. And drop this conversation, I don't want to talk about it." Seungmin scoffs, jumping up from his seat with an exasperated expression. "Do you realize how selfish this is?!— The fate of the world is practically in your hands, and you refuse to tell me what happened!" You hold back the urge to slap the doctor as you usher him toward the door, rolling your eyes at his dramatics. "It's very late, Doctor. We both need sleep and I think this will be easier to discuss when you've had a full night of rest." Before Seungmin can utter a single word, you lay your hand flat on the panel near your door and watch it slam shut. You can hear him yelling on the other side, but decide to ignore him as you walk back over to your bed and lie down once again. This time you drift away to sleep without any interruptions. ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ "Y/N wake up we're going to be late!" You jump out of bed, startled by someone screaming and banging on your door. Somehow you make it toward the owner of the voice, laying your hand flat on the panel and allowing the door to slide open. Felix practically invites himself into your room as he walks in, with what seems to be clothing in his hands. You follow him mindlessly, groggily mumbling about not setting your alarm. As you wipe your eyes you realize that Felix is wearing a black, skin-tight uniform. He waves his hand in front of your face frantically, snapping you out of your sleepy stupor. "—Y/N, we don't have time for you to wake up. Hurry up and change into your uniform." You groan, snatching the uniform out of his hands as you shuffle into the bathroom. In a matter of minutes, you've made yourself presentable and somehow make it to your reserved training room. You're in awe as you step inside the blindly round white room, and can't help but squint your eyes as you look up. The training room is cylindrical and quite large, and the roof is made of glass so natural light can seep in. Your fellow recruits stand in a circle around what sounds like a friendly brawl, and somehow you make out the voice of the commander through all the cheering and laughter. "Getting tired, Bang?" "Hardly, Commissioner." A strained voice replies, grunting slightly in what sounds like a struggle. You glance back at Felix, grinning from ear to ear as you lead him to the front of the crowd. The commissioner and another man are tangled up in a ball of limbs as they attempt to wrestle, but the only thing they're doing is proving who has a bigger ego. You chuckle at the commissioner's strained face, which he doesn't take lightly. His eyes instantly fly open and he glares at you. Through the struggle of keeping his opponent from pinning him down, he grunts out; "You think this is funny? You're going toe to toe with him next!" And with that, Changbin's assailant is on top of him and pinning him face-down on the ground. The commissioner sighs in defeat, keeping his sharp, annoyed eyes on you. Your gaze flickers up to the brown-haired man on top of him, whose face you still cannot see. Unlike your fellow recruits, the man is wearing a white tank top and black sweats. His biceps are practically bulging after his playful brawl with the commissioner, and you can tell they're great friends by the way he ruffles Changbin's hair. "Honestly Bin— You've been sweating so much you're losing muscle." The man jokes, standing up with his back facing towards you as he helps up the commissioner, who merely grunts in response. "I'm glad you've humiliated me in front of the people I'll be bossing around for three weeks. Way to make them respect me." The man simply laughs, shrugging his shoulders as the commissioner brushes his, now dirty, uniform off. "It's one way to make them respect me—The man that'll be training them for the next three weeks."

As the man turns around, your heart sinks into the pits of your stomach.

His face is just the same as you remember it. His smile is just as radiant and contagious. His dimples are just as charming. His eyes are just as captivating—His hair is just as brown. You can tell by the way his smile falters, that he sees you. He sees the only person who knows what happened that day. He remembers it all in an instant and it makes his stomach churn with uncertainty and fear. "My name is Chan... and I've been assigned to train you for your mission."

[kassymalone]

Kassy rants about what she's reading - Isekais

So isekais are pretty popular right now, and I've picked up a few to read here and there. I've by no means explored the entire genre, but I've read enough that two particular issues keep popping up over and over again, and now I feel the need to rant about them. I'm going to call these issues 'Why the fuck are you here?' and 'What the fuck are you wearing?'

Why the fuck are you here?

By this, I don't mean 'why are you in this magical world suddenly', because that's just part of the genre - you may get an explanation to that, you may not, it's usually not important. The issue is - why is this story an isekai in the first place? I've run into so many stories where the modern young woman (its usually a woman) finds herself in a different world, often as the villain in the last story she read, and resolves to change her fate by acting differently from the villainous.

And then five chapters later it's irrelevant. The protagonist being from another world, knowing how the story should go, having a completely different personality from the person whose life they've taken over, means absolutely nothing. Because we the reader don't know what the 'original' story was, we have no idea if any of the characters are changed by their presence, and it might as well be a straight forward story. I've read a few from start to finish where the character being from another world is just completely forgotten after a while.

A thirty-year-old woman find herself stuck in the body of a baby at the start of the story? Sure, she'll be dating teenagers when the story gets to that point without even blinking. Literally a doctor in the real world? Now she's wearing pretty dresses and fawning over some dumbass who can't even read. What education?

It doesn't help that I'm reading one right now that really nails the concept - Surviving Romance - where the fact that the main character knows she's in a story is central to the plot. To say more would be spoilers, and it's really so good I recommend reading it for yourself if you can.

I feel like if you just want you characters to know certain things without earning the knowledge themselves, then just have them be psychic, or just have a prophetic vision or visit a soothsayer early in the story. Is that lazy? Yes, but no more than setting up an isekai premise that's going to stop mattering before the first arc is even over.

What the fuck are you wearing?

A bit of a petty one here, but it bugs me every time I see it.

Whether or not the art in what I'm reading is good (now there's a loaded sentence), I have yet to come across any that I would consider lazy. I'm talking background with good perspective, screen tones, colours and textures, you name it. In those based in 'Nebulous European Regency' times (magic optional), a lot of effort goes in to the costumes and their details.

Except for the main characters.

Now I'm sure an actual costumer/historical fashion enthusiast could look at these nameless background characters and pick out a hundred different ways they're wrong, but to me, a European with a casual knowledge of historical clothes, they look more or less correct.

Then the main character turns up to the fancy party in a dress with no shoulders or sleeves and a 3/4 length skirt. Sure, by modern standards she looks demure and cute, but by the standards suggested by the other characters costumes, she looks like a fucking prostitute. You can see her ankles, sir!

Its just so jarring. She's supposed to be the 'innocent/pure main girl' (and again, by modern standards she looks just fine), but compared to the other characters it looks like she's walking around in her underwear, and no-one says a word about it? And don't give me that 'showing she's a modern woman in another world' BS when pretty dresses are literally the only place it occurs.

I'm sure I'll find more annoying things as I read more, we'll see. I don't go looking for problems, but these two keep happening over and over again to the point that I couldn't ignore them any more.

[dreamingofaizawa]

Cross Me

'Powerful' rewrite.

Chapter 1

Yakuza! Shouta Aizawa x AFAB Reader

Word Count: 3k

Author's Note: Uhhhhhhmmmmm sooooo..... Okay. I never thought I'd be rewriting this series, especially considering it isn't FREAKING done yet. Did I plan to rewrite this? No, absoluitely not. Did I hear Ed Sheeran and Chance the Rapper's song "Cross Me" and decide to rewrite it anyway? Yes, yes I did. Fuck I can't stand myself for doing this to myself, but what better way to get back into writing and posting than an easy rewrite. I'm both dreading and looking forward to this.

Summary: Being in the Yakuza isn’t all it’s chocked up to be. It’s so much worse. Unless, of course, you’re married to the most powerful man in the country. But that’s not the case for you. Or is it?

Ahaha...enjoy

***

If someone had told you a month ago you’d be in a spontaneous engagement with the sole figurehead of the entirety of the Yakuza, you’d have laughed in their face and told them to go find some other low-ranking clan member to scam. But here you are, sitting at the head of the table during a clan meeting, a diamond on your finger that matches the man next to you. Him. With a capital “H” because anything less could be punishable by death if you aren’t careful. He, who controls every other body in the room. 

The day everything changed lives in your head as if it were mere minutes ago.

Your gown is tailored perfectly to you, the bodice following every curve and dip. The skirt fans out behind you, the train sweeping the ground you walk on as you step through the grand doors of the mansion. Tonight is a grand event, the annual ball held to celebrate successful unions and awesome achievements. Nobody knows yet, but tonight’s event is particularly special. Well, nobody but one.

He stands at the highest balcony, observing with sharp eyes as the party rages on. A rainbow of colors dance around on the floor below, patrons of all backgrounds mingling together. Styles from every walk of life blend almost seamlessly. But he’s not there to enjoy the festivities. He’s looking for something. Or rather, someone.

At first glance, you were practically nobody. A piece of the crowd, an ant on the hill. But just as he had been doing with several patrons all night, he watches you. He watches as you walk through the crowd, meeting with the other clan heads, smiling and talking, dare he say gracing them with your presence. You’re very clearly from a lower ranked clan, having to bow to nearly everyone you meet. And yet you seem to tower above them all. 

You hold yourself with unmatched grace, pride, humility. Most of the time it’s staged, nearly every person in the room of hundreds wearing a false personality. But you. You are a rarity, even with an action as simple as sipping champagne you are genuine. Real. He can see your potential, he’s sure of it, your capacity for power, your potential to wield it skillfully.

There are only a few hours left in the night when he makes his decision.

You’d just finished your glass of sparkling alcohol, set the empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray, when the entire mansion fell into a dead silence. All heads and eyes turned to focus on a man who had begun his descent from the balcony overlooking the main ballroom. Beautiful is the first word your brain conjures, looking up at him. Long black hair is pulled into a low bun at the nape of his neck, exposing the scruff on his sharp jaw. The scar beneath his eye cuts across his cheekbone, making his steely gaze somehow harder, sharper. He wears a suit, beautiful black satin draped over his frame, rolling muscle evident even through the thick fabrics. Peeking from the collar is deep black ink, a mere hint at what intricate artwork lay beneath.

You may not have ever seen him in person, nor have most of the other patrons, but every man, woman, or otherwise knows who he is. Top rung of the ladder, Oyabun of the most powerful clan in Japan, as well as figurehead of the entirety of Japan’s Yakuza. His name is merely a whisper on the wind, a mere legend, almost never spoken aloud. Shouta Aizawa, a name well respected and equally feared, holding immeasurable power and strength. His reputation alone is enough to make the building itself shrink in his presence, notorious for his cold demeanor and capacity for violence. Many have lost fingers, loved ones, and their own lives for as simple as disobedience. He rules with an iron fist in a velvet glove, making him an extremely dangerous enemy, and a much desired ally.

Just as the crowd bowed, so did you. A show of reverence, respect. You all wait for a release, whether that be from the man himself or a mutual understanding that it was alright to do so. The former came first. The last thing you expected was to be face to face with sharp obsidian eyes and broad shoulders. You froze in place, unsure what to do. You hoped to every deity in existence you didn’t look like you’d seen a ghost. 

“What is your name?” You only had to blink once for your brain to catch up to your consciousness, your voice as steady as you can manage for your response. Everything in your head told you tonight is the night you die. You have no idea what you’d done to piss him off, nor what awaited you once he opened his mouth. Even with every nerve in your body telling you to run, you stay glued to your spot, dead silent. You don’t dare speak out of turn, even to possibly beg for your life.

His next words are addressed to the entire party, you clearly included, his voice booming through the hall.

“Any transgression against this woman is a transgression against me. As my future wife, and now fiancee, she is now completely untouchable, and will remain that way until I explicitly state otherwise.” Your heart felt like it had stopped beating, a collective gasp through the hall the only thing keeping you present and in the moment. With no warning, no preparation, no hesitance and full confidence, Shouta Aizawa has made you his fiancee. You are now engaged to the most powerful man in Japan. It’s that very man’s voice that snaps you out of your daze.

“It’s time to retire, little one.” His hand is extended to you, palm up, awaiting your own. It takes you a moment to gather yourself, to store your shock away for later and focus on right here, right now. With a smile, you place your hand in his, allowing him to tuck you into his side and guide you out the doors to a black limousine.

Even in the comfort of a luxury vehicle you don’t allow yourself to relax. You sit silently next to your now fiancee as you watch the scenery speed by out the window. The ride is tense, the air thick enough to cut with a knife. His large hand is sat possessively on your knee, unmoving the entire trip. Neither of you talked, you more out of sheer shock and disbelief, and a little bit of fear. He remained silent, simply because he wanted to. He would talk when he felt like talking.

In the deafening silence you allow yourself to worry. What does this new arrangement mean for you? How will he treat you? Is he violent toward his partners? Would he even care what you have to say, if he’s willing to listen at all? Suddenly being bound to such a figure of power is stressful, nerve-wracking. Not knowing what could happen next, not knowing what to do next, makes your skin clammy and your spine shiver. THere was nothing that could have prepared you for this. Nothing.

The car slowed as it pulled up to a gate, shaking you from your thoughts. Once the wrought-iron creaked open, the drive through the property to the main house took nearly five minutes on its own. The building is more modern than you expect, several stories tall with crisp white walls, the top penthouse-style with a large glass window overlooking the rolling hills of the property.

At a full stop, a man opens the door on your side of the limo. The Oyabun is already standing there, his hand extended to help you stand. His strong arm easily pulls you out of the car, leading you through the building to an elevator. The low hum of the machine is deafening in the silence, waiting for that telltale chime to indicate you’ve landed. You both step out, and the doors close behind you.

And now you’re alone with him.

He stops in the center of the large main room, stepping away and turning his burning gaze to you. It’s hard not to flinch, not to tense under his focus. He begins to circle you, his dress shoes clacking rhythmically on the polished wood flooring as he eyes you like a predator circling its prey. You can barely keep from squirming, from running, only able to keep still from pure willpower. You nearly flinch when he stops behind you, his warmth surrounding you as he leans in close. A large hand presses into your lower back, the other gently grasping your shoulder and pushing and pulling until your posture straightens. His breath is hot on your neck, deep voice rasping in your ear.

“You are my fiancee now. You will hold yourself as such, exude power as I do and command the attention of any room with only a glance.” The reminder is almost grim, makes your heart stop in your chest as he rounds you and tilts your chin to look up at him, peer into his dark eyes.

“It won’t be easy, but you will fall into the role I’ve given you. For now, we rest.” It’s hard to resist asking the questions that roll around in your head, but you bite your tongue for now as he grasps your hand and leads you further into his home. You end up in his bedroom, and he hands you a large robe before guiding you to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Once alone, you allow yourself time to think. The highest ranking man in the Yakuza has suddenly decided to arrange your engagement, seemingly from out of nowhere. But the longer you think about it, the less spontaneous it seems. The man is 30 now, and until tonight had yet to name a wife let alone an heir. If he were to die for any reason, those chances increasing by the day, the power vacuum his absence would cause would lead to pure chaos and the destruction of the organization as a whole. And your part in the ordeal is to simply be a chess piece, part of a strategy.

Even so, even knowing you’re nothing but a means to keep the peace, there’s no denying Shouta had struck something inside you. Of all the people in that party he approached you, a woman he didn’t know, whose background he didn’t know, for reasons you can’t fathom. And the nickname he used for you sounded far too tender on his tongue, too soft and warm from a man capable of incredible violence.

Once you feel your fingers begin to prune up you turn off the water, drying yourself off and wrapping the fluffy robe around your body. It’s clearly meant for him, the hem dragging on the floor where it’s meant to hang several inches from the ground and the sleeves far too long for your arms. Not having returned home, and not planning to have stayed anywhere, you’re bare underneath. It makes you nervous, feeling exposed like this, but it’s late and the Oyabun still needs to bathe. With a deep breath, you step out into the room.

You almost stop breathing altogether when your eyes land on him. He’s standing near the bed, the top half of his clothing discarded, exposing his bare skin decorated with deep black and red ink. Dragon scales curve down his arm, delicate swirls following the lines of his corded muscles. They seem to flow with every movement he makes, the art almost coming to life. He is, without question, a gorgeous man.

“Enjoying the view?” You nearly jump at the sound of his voice, quickly averting your eyes as your face burns. You can hear his amused chuckle, and you decide that changing the subject is far better than wallowing in your embarrassment.

“I’m done showering, Oyabun.” He hums, a low sound you can feel in your chest.

“I can see that, little one,” the nickname has your heart racing, “and you are to be my wife. Call me Shouta.” The inhale you take is sharp, head spinning from the suggestion. It’s unheard of to refer to him by his name, whether it be his family or given name. Regardless, you aren’t about to disobey him, so you nod.

“Yes, of course…Shouta.” It feels heavy on your tongue, a name people never dare to speak, like saying it aloud would summon him. Yet here you are, meant to speak it like it held no other purpose than to be a name. 

When he moves he’s silent, gathering his clothing before heading to the bathroom. He stops momentarily by your side, and when you look up at him he’s already gazing down at you. You’re confused, shocked for a second as his calloused fingers gently grip your jaw. The touch is tender, he’s holding you like glass. He leans in close, his face inches from your own and you can feel his breath fanning across your skin. Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch him, watch his eyes dart down to your lips several times in the mere moments it takes him to lean in close to you before hesitating.

“You’ll be sleeping in my bed from now on. Our bed.” You blink, and with a quick flick of his wrist your face is turned, and he plants a gentle kiss to your cheek before quickly disappearing into the bathroom.

You stand frozen in shock, the action far more than unexpected. To anyone, a touch like that should seem impossible for him. You shake off your shock, deciding it best to lay down and try to sleep. It feels like hours as you lie there in an unfamiliar bed, and you manage to stay awake even as Shouta emerges from the bathroom with damp hair falling over his bare shoulders, dark gray sweatpants sitting low on his hips. Heat builds in your chest as you watch a drop of water fall from his shoulder, down his sculpted chest and abdomen, all the way to the dark line of hair that disappears behind his sweats.

You manage to peel your eyes off his body before he can catch you staring for a second time, and it isn’t long before he slips under the covers beside you. Not a word is exchanged as he flicks off the lights and settles into the mattress. You lay with your back to him, and you aren’t sure if the lack of movement unsettles you more than if he were to toss and turn. What feels like hours pass in the darkness, your eyes already adjusted to the pitch black. Despite the exhaustion, you can’t sleep. This entire situation makes you nervous, questions both rational and not rattling around in your head.

What happens now? What happens with your clan and parents? How does this notorious brute treat a partner? How are you supposed to act around him? Is the engagement fully official? When is the wedding ceremony? What if you disappoint him? What if people don’t like his choice? How many are already out to get you? You’re overwhelmed, too many questions with too many possible answers making your head spin.

You listen to Shouta’s soft snores, and decide to slip out of bed. As silently as you can, you pad out to the main room. You have no clue where you’re going or what you’ll do when you get there, but you need space to breathe and just think for a moment. You come to stop at the glass wall that overlooks the property, staring out into the night. It’s the sky that you focus on, the clarity out here making the stars shine like gemstones. It’s a sight you missed having lived in the city for so long. 

Organizing your thoughts has always been easier at night. So far, Shouta has shown no signs of aggression or ill will toward you. For now, it’s safe to assume you’ll be safe here. How you’re meant to act around the man will have to be tested, trial and error. The only problem is that being alone with him is already driving you insane, in more ways than one.

Soft footsteps break you from your thoughts, and you’re suddenly very on edge before Shouta’s voice sounds through the darkness. It’s soft, low and almost comforting when he speaks, his voice raspy with sleep.

“What are you doing up, little one?” Your lip is pulled between your teeth at the pet name, and you turn your gaze outside before answering.

“I’m just thinking. I apologize for waking you, Oyab– ah, Shouta.” His steps stop directly behind you, his warmth seeping through the robe as his chest presses against your back. His hands fall on your shoulders, palms and fingers tracing down your arms and wrapping around your waist. His breath is warm on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Thinking about what?” You lack the energy to answer him properly.

“A lot of things. Too many things.” It’s easy to lean into his body, letting his warmth seep into you. As unnatural as it may seem, in the arms of such a  dangerous man, you feel safe. Now all you want to do is melt into him. He shifts, and before you can react his strong arms are lifting you with ease. When you settle into bed he pulls you into him, tucking your head into his shoulder and burying his fingers in your hair, gently massaging your scalp.

“Sleep, sweetheart. It’s been a long night.” He makes it easy to relax into him, soak up his body heat and let his fingers rub away the headache from earlier. Just before you let his heartbeat lull you to sleep, you feel his lips press a kiss to your temple.

[evieismol]

Chapter 4 of the gt park ranger story

Back from an unintentional hiatus as I got really busy with classes and work and then ~my life fell apart~...my sincere apologies I'm going to finish this now lol. Also desperately needs a name, if anyone has any suggests please feel free to lemme know lol

warnings: n/a

word count: 1525

Previous Chapter

Dave was already awake when his alarm went off. He’d slept restlessly all night, tossing and turning for hours before resigning himself to staring up at the ceiling as the sun rose. Today was the day that he was supposed to go work with John and Easton. When the shrill screech of his alarm went off, it felt more like a bad omen than a wake up call. He reluctantly slid out of bed. His concerns over the upcoming shift didn’t fade as he got ready, and at one point he found himself seriously considering calling in. He shook his head, hoping to clear the thoughts from his mind. That was dramatic, he told himself. He’d agreed to work with Easton. And all calling in sick would do was delay the inevitable anyways.

Truth be told, he hadn’t expected this much of an emotional reaction upon finally seeing another Aphirial. He’d spent so long trying to push memories of his past away that he’d tricked himself into thinking it worked. That the past was some cold, dead series of events. Not something apparently warm enough to still burn. 

Dave finished buttoning his shirt, took a deep breath, and headed outside. John was leaning against the employee housing wall when he stepped outside. 

“Morning. Sleep well?” John asked. 

“Well enough,” Dave said. “So, what exactly are we up to today?”

“A tour of the park,” John replied. “I’ve only been here once, actually.”

“And I would guess it’s safe to assume Easton hasn’t ever,” Dave said. John nodded. Dave continued. “Well, I’m not sure how good of a tour guide I’ll be.”

John shrugged. “I think the goal is more team-bonding.”

“Right,” Dave replied. 

“Speaking of the team, we’re going to meet Easton, go over basics, and then head out,” John said. He gestured down the path before taking off in the same direction. Dave followed him, giving the employee housing building a quick glance back as anxiety built in his chest. Is it too late to fake being sick?

To say Easton’s place was huge would be an understatement. It wasn’t a surprise given his own size, but Dave still found himself staring up at the trailer in awe. If it was human-sized, it wouldn’t have been anything notable. Probably small camper sized. Big enough for a bed, maybe a modified kitchen and a half bath. It had a distinctly angular, somehow foreign feel to it, and Dave guessed that the trailer had come from Easton’s own realm as opposed to being built here. Though, that would have been a good guess even without the odd architecture, as Dave guessed building something of this scale would be a struggle for a human construction crew. John led him to the base of the structure, where a human-sized door sat to the side of some much larger steps. 

John typed something into the keypad outside the door, and it slid open to reveal a modern looking elevator. 

“Rangers first,” John said jokingly. Dave stepped into the elevator, the IMA agent close behind him. 

“I don’t know why this,” Dave gestured to the elevator. “Is a surprise to me. I mean, makes more sense to have a human-sized elevator than try to scale those steps. I guess I hadn’t really given it any thought.”

John gave a short chuckle. “It’s our best attempt at accomodating both sizes. There’s a series of pathways - human-sized pathways, that is - around the inside, so we can get around fairly easily. And this elevator takes us to the various levels on the pathways.”

“Like hamster tunnels,” Dave mused. John gave him an odd look but didn’t say anything. Instead, he pushed one of the buttons in the elevator, and they began to go up. The ride didn’t feel like it took too long, despite Dave guessing they’d gone up at least a few hundred feet. There was a ding, and the doors behind them rolled open. Dave found himself frozen as he took in what was before them. 

As he’d guessed, the interior of the trailer wouldn’t have been notable if it had been human-sized. It had the same sleekly modern feel the outside did, from the polished white table directly in front of them to the circular, metal-framed windows across the room. What stopped Dave in his tracks, though, was the scale. It felt like staring up at a mountain, or into the sea on a dark night. The feeling of being incredibly, wholly, insignificant. Easton’s presence only further exemplified that. In a room to his scale, it no longer seemed like he was the odd one out - Dave found himself feeling more like he was abnormally small instead of Easton being huge. 

Easton broke into a soft, close-lipped smile when he saw them. 

“Good morning!” John greeted him. “So, you both feeling ready?” 

Dave nodded. 

“Yeah,” Easton seconded. 

“Alright. Now, I’m sure Gus and Dan will go over actual, y’know, ranger stuff. I only oversee the whole Aphiria-Earth liasion bit, and I won’t be meaning to step on any toes this summer. Just wanted to get that out of the way,” John said. “We were going to head over to the eastern part of the park, look around, and then I believe you’ll be meeting Dan later this afternoon. Basically, we’re just trying to get to know each other this morning.” 

“Sounds good,” Dave said. He found his gaze drifting over to Easton again, and wondered what exactly he could even do in the park. Probably plenty, actually, he realized after a moment. Easton was gigantic compared to humans, but not ridiculously so compared to natural features. Dave would bet the Rio Grande river alone was wider in parts than Easton was tall. He’d probably be able to help with upkeep, trail maintenance, and so on. And then, of course, the angle Dave suspected the Park Service (and by extension U.S. Government) was most interested in, which was income from tourists. Several public facing nonhumans had been hugely well-received in recent years. People tended to flock to the strange, unusual, and even scary. 

He recalled hearing about both a giant (of the smaller variety) and a vampire on Broadway recently. Both were met with wide praise and rocketing attendance numbers of their respective shows. There was even a whole niche of non-human micro influencers, something he’s discovered on one of his endless TikTok scrolls. The park service may not be as flashy as either of those examples, but justifying budgets did at least in some part depend on getting people to visit. 

“Well, we should probably get going, then,” John finished. Dave realized he’d zoned out, entirely missing part of what John had said. He hoped it wasn’t anything important. 

“So, we have a car outside. Two options, we could meet Easton there, or he could carry us,” John said to Dave. 

“We can meet him there,” Dave said quickly. If Easton was offended at the speed of his rejection, he didn’t show it, instead simply nodding. He and John headed back to the elevator, exiting in the same way they’d came. John led him to a truck parked nearby, motioning for him to climb in. He handed him an earpiece.

“So we can communicate with Easton easily, without having to yell out the window or something,” John explained. Dave nodded. 

Easton appeared a few moments later, and Dave felt his stomach turn again as he looked out the truck window up at the giant. He’d at least been eye-level with Easton during previous meetings. Now, though, the truck barely came up to Easton’s ankles, and Dave couldn’t help but think how easily Easton could step on them without so much as a second thought. Easton crouched down, his attempt to be closer to them doing little to close the gap in their size difference. Dave noticed he was also wearing an earpiece. 

“Does following us work?” John asked. Easton nodded. 

“Great. Just make sure to stay a few car lengths away when you’re walking okay?” 

“Of course,” Easton said. He was true to his word the entire trip, as the buildings faded away into the distance before finally being obscured around a bend. He also didn’t take his eyes off the ground the entire time, gaze carefully checking each step. That put Dave at ease a little. 

The truck pulled into a parking spot in a dirt parking lot. Dave wasn’t sure exactly where there were, beyond one of the more remote parts of the park. Sensible, if John didn’t want to draw a group with Easton just yet. Speaking of Easton, Dave noticed him hang back on the outside of the parking lot. John climbed out of the car. Dave was close behind, and he looked around at there surroundings. The Chisos mountains painted the backdrop in the distance, and trees cast shade over the parking lot. 

“Beautiful day out!” John said. “We’re going to head to the canyon down there. We have an approximate idea of where Easton can fit easily, but consider this our official mapping.” This was going to be a long day, Dave thought.

Next Chapter

[cheelduh]

How to get Hit-listed by a Stonehide Lawachurl (High School AU!)

Part 6 of the highschool au

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Synopsis: Childe’s a menace to everyone when playing dodgeball. Even as his new girlfriend, you’re no exception to his affinity for raising hell during the most tranquil of circumstances.

Warnings: Swearing, bad humor, and absolutely horrid spelling mistakes.

Words: 5.3k

Note: Longest chapter yet sheeeesh 🗿

Negotiation is an art.

Childe, or "Tartaglia" has utilized the art of negotiations in his daily life. Whether that be scamming the ninth graders with fake weed, or convincing the teachers why he doesn't deserve detention for injecting random fluids from the chem department into the school's resident pet frog.

All in all, by becoming an expert in the field of negotiations, Childe is nothing if not a master, tongue silver and smooth as he takes on a new opponent.

Which is why he dutifully negotiates with you on this Monday morning in front of the History classroom, getting down on one knee and pulling out a—

"I hope to Barbatos you aren't proposing Childe," You hiss, panicked eyes landing on the velvet box he's pulling out. "Considering that we're sixteen and still in highschool."

As if remembering those meagre details, Childe gulps and shoves the box back into his pocket. "Uhhh yeah, I was just, tying my shoelaces?" It comes out as a question.

You let out a sigh of relief, overlooking how he undoes his shoe laces just to do them all over again.

The ring burns in his pocket as he gets back up.

"Why did you call me here?" You ask, hand on your hip, foot impatiently tapping. The tap tap tap isn't because of impatience though, it's because you need something to cover the nervous palpitations of your heart.

He gives you a vicious smile, sinister enough to shake the bones of anyone who's observing, opens his daring mouth to show the imaginary sharpness of his teeth. Then with the confidence of about a hundred shirtless tiktok boys, he finally demands:

"If you don't become my girlfriend, I will kill—"

"Yeah sure thing." You answer before he can finish, soft smile growing.

Childe chuckles evilly, "I knew you'd say that, but I've come prep—wait a minute." He snaps out of his villain origin phase, stumbles back a bit, then his eyebrows are furrowing in confusion. "Did you just say yes?"

You nod, cheeks flaring up. "Don't make me repeat it." Then you look away, too embarrassed to see his reaction.

For a second, Childe's internal conflict following the chain of this event causes him to temporarily malfunction, and all he can do it stare at you in amazement.

It's only when you tell him to stop staring and jump off the school roof is when he snaps out of his daze, a grin festering on his face.

He lunges straight at you, giving you no time to deflect him as he wraps his bone crushing arms around you, then lands a soft smooch on your forehead.

"Let go of me you idiot!" You barely wheeze out, light headed not only because of your lungs being squeezed like oranges, but also because of the sloppy kiss he's delivered so ungracefully.

He does so reluctantly, and you're unamused, wiping the stickiness off your forehead with a sleeve as he steps back.

"Ew what the fuck?" You say, glaring at him. "What's wrong with you?"

He completely ignores you, giddy with excitement. "Ah girly, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I can't wait to introduce you to my parents and eat lunch together and kiss each other during break—"

"Slow down." You tell him, as red as a tomato towards all his suggestions. "We've barely started dating."

"Oh," Childe stops momentarily, then nods in agreement. "You're right. We should start small. How about I walk you to class?"

"We're already in front of class." You nudge your head towards the classroom, and catch Zhongli and Venti peeking from the side of the door, trying not to be obvious.

You narrow your eyes at them threateningly.

Childe tugs your arm, lovingly looking you up and down. "Let's walk to class together anyways. In a circle."

A complete waste of time, yet it's impossible to say no to the face he's making.

Before you guys depart he suddenly stops, gasping loudly, remembers something important. "I have to make a quick phone call."

Childe speed dials Scaramouche, and the latter picks up annoyed, answers the phone with muffled sounds in the back. Something that sounds a bit like pleading and whimpering.

He then mutters something that forces dread into your system. "You can release the hostages."

You hear Scaramouche groan on the other end, muttering a "such a pain in my ass", but choose not to question it immediately.

As soon as the phone call is done and you're back by his side, you point at his phone questioningly. "What hostages Childe?"

He gives you a close eyed smile, taking the fifth.

"What hostages Childe?" You repeat again weakly.

—

First period goes by smoothly for the most part. Lisa, your so called best friend, once again is bought off like a corrupted politician by your new boyfriend. She sits far away from you, leaving you without any defences against the menace that dotes on you a bit too much.

Throughout class, all Childe does is score Venti's colourful pens, and then writes you annoying little love notes, using the expert origami skills he's learnt from Anthon to deliver them to you.

Despite the threat of distraction these notes pose, the corners of your lips can't help but tug upwards at his enthusiasm and attempt at poetry.

Zhongli makes sure not to ask you two any questions the entire class, leaving you to your own accord.

Lunch comes around soon enough, and your usual table of Diluc, Jean, Kazuha, and Lisa is disturbed by the torpedo that is Childe, and he brings collateral with him.

Kaeya whole-heartedly ceases the opportunity to sit near his stoic statue of a brother purely with the intention to annoy the premature crap out of him, but one look from the redhead sends the chicken-shit right back where he came from.

When Childe forcefu—lovingly feeds you the smiley fries and dinosaur nuggets his stunning mom packed him, Diluc looks just about ready to hurl.

Lisa winks at you two, Kazuha doesn't even bother looking, and Jean tries with upmost effort to keep Diluc from launching himself at the whipped fatui boy basking in your attention.

"Quit embarrassing me." You whisper-exclaim sharply, noticing how Jean passes Diluc—all green in the face, a puke bag discreetly. "Shouldn't you be doing something illegal right now? Or vaping in the stalls?"

"I quit vaping for you girlie." Childe boops your nose with his finger. "Well, at least full time. I still need a puff when I'm around Signora, to like, get rid of her awful vibes."

While it is endearing how he quit vaping for you, it doesn't lessen the need for you to bury yourself alive right here and now.

Then you sigh, pick up a Dino nuggie, and shove it in his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking your finger. You die inside.

"There, you happy?" The action of feeding him is so...intimate, it sets your heart aflame.

Childe's a lovesick puppy when he chews, imaginary tail wagging a hundred times a second. "Can I have a kiss too?"

Diluc slams his hands on the table and stands up, hurriedly picks up his grape juice and makes a break for it. You don't blame him.

"I'll kill you." You smack him with a napkin, blazing red. "I'll end your pathetic little life right here and now."

By the end of lunch, Lisa and Jean have to restrain you so you don't break the world record for the maximum amount of mutilations that can be done on a single body.

Fourth period is a break. A break from Childe you mean. It's expected of the school's resident bad boy aka menace to skip classes in order to skip over the bodies of his victims.

You bask in the momentary peace, until it's disrupted by a tap on the window. Reckon it's nothing, maybe a bird flew into it, because intentional taps are impossible from the third floor. Except your conviction is hindered yet again by another tap.

What a nuisance.

You finally turn to look outside the window, face down, and spot Childe waving incessantly, rocks in hand, oozing with excitement that can't be concealed and a grin that nearly takes you into cardiac arrest. Without meaning to, you send him a small smile, waving back as Baal drones on about quantum superposition.

Successful in gaining your attention, he moves aside to reveal the hefty corpse of a stonehide lawachurl with a destructive path in its wake. The ridges and bumps of its hide are enough to do a number on the road, ruining the school's playing field.

Your smile drops down into a horrified frown in the span of a few seconds.

"Wow." Albedo, your lab partner whispers from next to you, for the first time distracted in class.

"Yeah," Kaeya whistles from behind you two, one hand supporting his head. "What a gesture."

"Y/N, I'd be grateful if you could possibly obtain a black crystal horn for me from the specimen." The blonde asks, entranced by the corpse that your boyfriend is flaunting off to you with pride.

"Aren't those things endangered cutie?" Lisa makes sure to butt in, as per usual.

Yes. Your boyfriend with several issues and an affinity for chaos brought you the corpse of an endangered geo-infused creature that's five times the size of him. During school hours too, the fiend. Like a cat dragging the corpse of a dead mouse to its owner.

You groan into your hands, heart racing while the fire is coursing through your veins.

That idiot.

—

Childe is exceptional at a lot of things, like the switch and making weapons out of seemingly harmless things (e.g shiv out of a toothbrush), but what he prides in the most is physical education. With washboard abs, uber tall height, and a dickish smile to top it all, he has everything it takes to showcase his top tier athletic abilities.

He pounces at the opportunity to show off in front of you, wanting nothing more than to have you fawn over his strength. He's sure it'll be enough to have you all over him, wrapping your cute little arms around his muscled ones, passing him his water bottle and dabbing away at the sweat on his forehead. Most of all, he daydreams you planting your soft lips on his to congratulate him after a big game.

Physical education, for you, is a pain. You may be good with your brain, but games exert more energy than necessary, and coordination that lacks logic entirely. You're just here for the credit. The over-achiever part of you walks the extra mile to ensure a grade in the high nineties.

Although witnessing Childe clad in the school shorts and matching polo shirt is enough to make this worth your while, you'll die before admitting it. Especially when he gawks at you as if it's the first time you're wearing the sports uniform yourself. It has you fidgeting with your fingers and tugging your shorts down nervously.

You try not to flip him off like you usually do, especially since it's not even been twenty four hours since he's asked you out.

Mr.Zhongli blows a whistle, calling all the students over to surround him. It's odd that he teaches most of the subjects at this school, seemingly the only adult present, but no one questions it in fear of genshin logic. Moving on, he explains that you have a dodge ball game today.

Lisa groans beside you. She hates anything that requires the exertion of energy, oftentimes bringing a book to read while everyone else screams in the background.

You're relieved, mainly because Childe and Tohma are usually captains, and Childe always picks you to be on his team as a means to flex his skills. For you, it means sitting back and watching him carry your team towards a straight A.

However, all your dreams are crushed when Zhongli announces the team leaders.

"Y/N, I trust that you'll lead the blue team to the upmost of your ability. Childe, prepare to lead the opposing red team."

Your knees shake as you stare at him in disbelief. "But Sir—"

"No buts Y/N." He scolds you lightly, checking off your names on the clip board. "I'd like to witness your exceptional leadership skills."

In reality, Zhongli just wants to reenact a lovers-on-opposing sides trope, wanting to see how the two of you crack under the pressure. In a way, it is an exercise of leadership.

Instead of picking teams, Zhongli assigns teams for the both of you according to his own judgement, trying to make it as fair as possible.

Lisa pats your back after your teammates are assigned, trying to cheer you up. "It's going to be okay. You guys are dating now, so he'll go easy on you."

You look up to meet Childe's eyes from across the court. He gives you a charming smile, which turns downright barbaric as he lifts up a thumb and motions to slash his neck with it. Then he wickedly mouths "I'm going to destroy you."

You blink and turn away as fast as you can in fear. "We're fucked."

Lisa, witnessing the entire ordeal nods alongside you, doing nothing to reassure you because she herself has given up.

Suddenly a hand lands on your shoulder gripping you tightly. "Let's wipe the floor with that g*nger." The voice is ice cold, threatening enough to send a shiver down your bones.

You turn to meet Rosaria, who frowns at you. Most of the time she doesn't really put an effort in dodgeball, but she must've seen your crestfallen expression, trying to comfort you in her own detached way.

Rosaria is the other school nurse in training, alongside Barbara, but somehow her patients end up more injured, sick, or mentally defiled than before they entered the room. She also spends after hours beating up Chads in the school parking lot. Also runs a blog with her booby co-author Kaeya that emphasizes mostly on the dark knight hero.

Spotting the rest of your team behind her, you begin to criticize them one by one.

Standing against the wall is Kaeya, pushing both his biddies up with his crossed arms like an absolute whore. He's breaking about several dress code rules right now. Venti is next to him, drunk off his butt as he beat boxes with Tohma.

Eula mutters under her breath, on and on about seeking revenge on Zhongli for putting her beloved Amber on the opposing team, promising him an unfortunate fate. Xiao is miserably squatting on the floor, sharp eyes observing everyone in the gym, scowl not ready to dissipate anytime soon.

Then you look over at Childe's team in the distance. Jean with a determined look on her face as she listens to Childe's game plan, and Diluc crossing his arms with his brows furrowed in concentration. Even Amber, the best baller in the school, is stretching out her arms, assisted by the gifted princess of the school, Ayaka.

Not only that, but Childe has the king of dodging on his team—Kaedehara goddamn Kazuha. Beidou shoots you a wicked smirk, winking at you until she's disrupted by Ningguang's shove.

"Oh my god." You cry out when the realization hits you, falling to your knees in despair. "We're completely fucked!"

"No we aren't." Rosaria mutters lowly. "You're only fucked if you want to be. Don't you dare throw in the towel before the fight has even begun."

"But I—"

"Stop it." She grumbles again, rolling her eyes. "You're being annoying now. If you lose the game, that makes him the dom. Don't you want to be the dom?"

She's right. You do want to be the dom.

Her words of encouragement, and not at all veiled insults somehow allow you to find motivation deep within yourself. You get up and stomp towards the rest of your team, calling their attention with your newfound confidence.

"Listen here soldiers!" You shout out, determination clear as day. "I know I am not capable of leading. I know that I barely have the physical capabilities needed to defeat the opposite team."

You take a deep breath, pointing at your cutie patootie boyfriend across the gym as you seethe. "But that man, that harbinger of chaos, that instrument of war, is nothing but a tyrant. And I cannot let such a tyrant be a victor in this battle. Not when innocent lives are at stake."

Tohma speaks up, sending you a bewildered look. "What lives—"

"Shut the fuck up soldier!"

"Yessir!" He immediately stiffens, saluting you.

"Are you ready soldiers?" Your voice booms, and everyone reinforces their priorities, except for Kaeya though. He just lazily smirks.

After Zhongli places the balls in the middle, everyone prepares for the battle of the century.

'Gods, please let us win this war' you pray to the archons above, closing your eyes in concentration.

'Give me the strength to flex my superior skills' Childe wishes, then adds on quickly 'also I want to dominate this world.'

'Give me the strength to make it to Friday.' Rosaria prays for nobody but herself, rolls her eyes at all the unnecessary dramatics of this dodgeball game.

"3..." "2..." "1..."

Zhongli ends the countdown by blowing hard into a whistle, signaling the beginning of the game.

Not even two seconds later a ball whooshes past a few of you at the speed of light, followed by a tail of fire. The ball of death kisses Kaeya square in the nose, sending him reeling back into a wall with enough sheer force to cause an indent.

Everyone winces.

Before you all can reel in from the initial shock and make sense out of wherever the hell that asteroid came from, Zhongli's voice booms throughout the gymnasium.

"Mr. Ragnvindr, headshots are strictly forbidden. You are out!"

With a scoff, Diluc, satisfied with his work, leaves the court with no apparent qualms. He accepts his defeat with the upturned corners of his lips.

Rosaria pokes Kaeya's body with the tip of her heels, then cringes when he shakes awake, up from his short lived knockout and sends a wink her way.

"Getting handsy when I'm unconscious? I didn't think you'd be one to partake in such vulgar activities." His eye twinkles in mischief, and if his momentary defeat at the hands of brother has him fuming, he doesn't show it one bit.

The only thing that keeps Rosaria from knocking him out for real is the blood that trails down onto his lip. She doesn't want to clean blood off her shoes, especially since it's a pain in the ass to get off.

You're about to tell them to get up and take this seriously, but a softball does your job for you when it darts straight at Rosaria. With pristine accuracy, the girl manages to pitch herself away last minute.

You swivel in Childe's direction, who wears a remorseless grin, which only grows wider once you pick up a blue softball next to your feet.

The glare that he receives has him shaking in exhilaration. More so than the elation he'd felt when he took down that Stonehide Lawachurl for you, as a gift of promise.

You begin to bark out orders. "Eula, Xiao, and Rosaria cover the front and act as decoys."

They nod immediately, but Xiao still clicks his tongue in distaste as he starts following orders.

Then you offer Kaeya a hand. "Get up princess. You're on sniper duty."

With Diluc out of commission, the battle is fair and square now considering both sides have the same amount of people. Ergo, no one's at a disadvantage.

That is—until Lisa fake trips over pure air, landing on the floor in a dramatic slow motion.

You roll your eyes.

"Oh dear! I think I've twisted something." She cries out, crawling away from the battle field, acting as if she's paralyzed completely. "Don't worry about me. I'll cheer you on from afar. The battle has begun, and it seems as if I've become the first casualty."

You don't let the countless amount of Lisa's betrayals get to you, even this one. It's just her personality to flake out on anything and everything that requires her to do more than below the bare minimum.

Focusing on the match, your eyes are only on Childe, just as his are on you.

You aim the ball straight at his ribs, step back a bit, then propel the ball in the air with as much energy as you can, using your entire body as a power outlet. The ball spins in the air, reaching the awaiting victim.

Childe, unbothered, dodges the ball with perfect precision, the ball not even grazing his clothes at the least.

Your jaw drops open, and you're about to move for another ball until he grabs the same ball you threw at him. With the sharpness of a predator locking in on its pray, he focuses on you like a missile locks on its target, launching the ball in the air for power that has you trembling, second to the powerful ball that was thrown by Diluc.

With your pupils dilated at your impeding doom, it's Xiao that grabs you and thrusts away.

The ball lands on the floor, smoke rising.

"Holy shit!" You shriek over everyone else's grunts and shuffles. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Isn't it poetic?" Childe shouts back while he slides away from the balls being thrown. "Lover against lover. Either you're by my side, or in my way. And right now, you're in my way." He narrows his eyes dangerously. "Albeit reluctantly, I will take the victory babe. Even if we are on opposing sides."

"There was zero reluctance in that throw asshole!"

You thank Xiao, who wipes his hands on his pants in disgust. "Filthy humans. So pathetic and weak."

Mildly offended, you roll your sleeves up and begin to fight with everything you've got as soon as he walks away.

The dodgeball game goes as expected for the most part, Eula carrying for most of it with the flow of her skills.

Tohma actually tries like the presumptuous asshole he is, aims straight for his girlfriend Ayaka, and takes her out completely. His only justification for that is "I ain't no simp!"

He shelves his cocky attitude when facing Childe with a sense of dignity and prestige you didn't think he had in him.

The two one of a kind fuckbois puff out their chests so that they look more hefty than they are, having some kind of an Alpha match. The 'me stronger than you. me dominant. me get all the women' type beat.

Unfortunately, Childe manages to fence him with his throws, and lo and behold, the square off ends with a dejected Tohma dragging his feet to the nearest bench.

Eula oversees that Ningguang and Beidou meet a quick end, taking their slower dodging to her advantage. You're actually rooting for her, tasting a sliver of victory that you haven't reached yet. So close, yet so far.

Amber trips on herself in the middle of throwing a what should've been coordinated ball, and it loses most of its momentum. Xiao is directly in front of it, and will probably be able to catch it with ease.

Ah, another short victory.

If Childe loses his expert baller, he's only left with Kazuha and Jean, whom's lack in the art of throwing is made up by their ability to dodge most of the fastballs.

However, all your plans and hopes are crushed when Eula slides in front of Xiao last minute, sticks out her foot, and let's the pathetic product of Amber's would-be downfall hit her on the leg with the total force of about 0.0000001 newtons.

Your chances of winning have just went down by a staggering 60%.

"Eula!" You cry out, collapsing on the ground. "How could you?"

Tohma cups his mouth and bellows obnoxiously from the bench. "SIMP!"

"I cannot avenge my clan if I win a false victory." Eula crosses her arms, casting her gaze down in visible uncomfortableness. "Amber will pay her dues in two business days. Mark my words."

It all a load of cap. She's sleeping with the enemy and you know it.

You grit your teeth. Fuming with an abundance of rage, you pick up three balls and throw them all back to back, taking out Amber and Kazuha simultaneously.

Childe's heart flutters in another kind of delight when you pluck out his team members one by one with no hints of remorse.

In retaliation, Jean and Childe work in sync to swiftly take care of a distracted Rosaria.

"Shit." You hiss underneath your breath.

It's Venti, Kaeya, Xiao, and you who are the only remainders of your short-lived team. It's still two more people than Childe and Jean, giving you the upper hand briefly.

It's a mystery to everyone how Venti is still standing. You reckoned you would've lost him as collateral during the beginning of the match, but it seems he's able to hold his own.

When you squint hard enough, you realize that Xiao has been t-posing in front of the nonchalant SoundCloud rapper that's about as high as a kite. He must've been defending him throughout the entire round.

His defenses are all in vain once Childe correlates another attack with Jean, sharp-shooting four rapid balls that are secured on their targets.

Xiao swerves to the side, avoiding most of them, until one is about to reach a nonchalant as shit Venti.

You scream at him, eyes widening as you run towards them in slow motion. "NOoOoOOOo-"

The yaksha doesn't waste a moment, shifting so that he's covering Venti's body with his own, which to be honest is a pretty heartwarming sight.

The ball hits his lean back, a sharp thud following when it hits the floor.

Xiao is out. But his sacrifice is so inspiring that it brings tears to Zhongli's eyes, makes everyone in the gym go silent in awe.

Even the sadistic Childe melts, cerulean eyes gaining back their light, halting his fire.

When Xiao finally uncovers Venti's body, he speaks from the bottom of his dead heart. "I'd do anything for you..."

Venti shakes out of his baked state, blinking at him stupidly with a nervous chuckle. "Ehe~? I don't even know who you are."

The entire class sweat drops. Whatever slip of compassion on Childe's face earlier has become nothing but a memory. Even your eyes dim.

The next time Childe aims and locks at Venti, it's not with malicious intent. It's a favour, for you. In a way it adds dimension to who he is and the lengths he's willing to go for you, even at war.

Venti steps away with a bounce in his gait, hands behind his head.

Kaeya and you are the only ones left standing now, and the game becomes too tight knit to tell which side's going to win. It becomes utter chaos, balls being launched every second, stamina slowly decreasing as everyone lurches away from their demise.

As laid-back  and charming as the boy presents himself to be in front of the ladies, he's not very patient when it comes to facing circumstances like these. He's side lined for most of the match, finding it boring. And when Kaeya gets bored, the intensity of the tide changes, and everyone knows they're going to get a run for their money.

Kaeya coasts a hand around your hips, pulls you real close, purposefully leaning his bust into the side your innocent arm.

When Childe's smile drops, and the glint in his eyes reads 'DANGER' in full caps, you know it's time to be properly scared.

Your blood runs cold, mouth opening briefly and then clamping shut immediately.

"I'm so glad to be on your team Y/N. Maybe this'll give us the chance to become...closer." His hot breath fans against your ear, voice loud enough to be heard by onlookers.

Suddenly everything stops, falling into an unsettling silence.

You attempt glance at Childe, being met with a glare that's directed at the Captain of the Skating team. The ball in the orange-haired boy's hand deflates from the sheer intensity of the squeeze.

The tension becomes unreadable. Even Zhongli is caught mid-sip with his tea.

Quickly, you shrug off Kaeya's arm. "Childe, he's just fucking with you—"

Childe cuts you off by hurling a ball with nothing but the objective of cold blooded murder.

Kaeya whizzes past you, successfully ducking to avoid the hit, and his amused laugh rings through your ears. He rolls away from the following attacks, chucking his own series of colourful balls.

The events that unfold are blood-curdling enough to make even Satan boil his pants with diarrhea.

You take the clear opportunity presented by their concurrent dumbassery to take out Jean, the ace of the other team.

Childe's rage blows over when Kaeya eventually loses interest and takes the L, playfully winking at you while walking backwards to the rest of your team.

Now that all the distractions are dealt with, Childe's eyes flicker to you, and you share a murderous glance.

"Finally," He slaps the softball with a free hand, lips thinning into a homicidal smile. "I've been waiting for this. You better not disappoint me."

While Childe may be a violent anarchist who's only aspiration in life is to become a government contracted killer, he's also supposed to be your sweet boyfriend.

Slowly, you inch towards the front. "We don't have to do this Childe. We can coexist peacefully."

"Peace was never an option Y/N." He sighs, cracking his neck. "Besides—how else can I prove myself in your eyes? You may be my greatest weakness, but you are also my greatest adversary."

"I don't know, maybe start with not trying to obliterate me?"

"I'm obliterating you out of respect." He counters with a playful pout.

"Well I'll be paying my respects to your grave!" You lurch ahead into a sudden assault, yeeting as many balls as you can his way.

"That's my girl!" Childe whistles, grin widening psychotically when he goes all out, leaving you with an absence in favorable openings.

Out of nowhere, the fire alarms start going haywire, along with a beep in the PA system, which stops you two in your tracks.

A panicked voice of who you assume to be Yanfei shrieks through the comms. "CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! EVACUATE THE BUILDING, THERE'S A STONEHIDE LAWACHURL ON THE PREMISES."

As if on cue, the ground starts rumbling and a Stonehide Lawachurl bursts through the halls and into the gym, looking around for something. Or rather, someone. It's sharp bumps and ridges make an indent on the floor, cracking it in.

Everyone falls into a state of panic, Zhongli trying his best to evacuate the class from the emergency back door as quickly as possible. "Settle down class, we have to follow protocol."

You, devoid of any emotion or sense of fear, turn to your boyfriend in such a calm manner it strikes an ominous dread in his stomach.

You stare.

Childe stares harder.

“I thought you killed it."

"I did." He retorts slowly, switching to gaze at the raging beast in amazement.

"Then why is it in the school!" You seethe, glaring daggers at his side profile.

Childe chuckles sheepishly, scratches the back of his neck. "I may or may not have stuffed the body in the boys washroom. Y'know, for safe keeping?"

The Lawachurl locks it's gaze on you, the prey, and then roars furiously. Turning into its geo-enhanced state, it begins charging at you with all its might, the target being solely Childe.

Leave it to your boyfriend to get on the hit list of an endangered beast.

"Fear not my vibrant girlfriend. Our first date can be surviving this." Childe cheekily kisses the top of your trembling hand before grasping it tightly and making a run for it.

[xiaowhore]

hi :) first of all! good morning and i hope u have a nice day,, ily lots bestie <3 but um for research purposes can i ask what this is and where do u read it skdjfjwj

*pulls out powerpoint presentation* IM GLAD YOU ASKED, ZALY

explanation for my current fixation under the cut cuz yes i do know i get noisy when it comes to stuff i like,,,,, AND I ADORE TGCF OK I LOVE HUALIAN WITH ALL MY HEART

as you may have noticed, i've been babbling about something called tgcf recently,,,

heaven official's blessing (tian guan ci fu) is a chinese novel by mxtx that has been adapted to a manhua (comic) and a donghua (animation)! season 2's release date hasn't been announced yet, but we do know it's in production.

the manhua looks like this, drawn by our lord and savior STARember:

and the donghua like this:

hover hand bc chinese censorship is strict 🙃

synopsis:

Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom. He was loved by his citizens and was considered the darling of the world. He ascended to the Heavens at a young age; however, due to unfortunate circumstances, was quickly banished back to the mortal realm. Years later, he ascends again–only to be banished again a few minutes after his ascension.

Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughing stock among all three realms. On his first task as a god thrice ascended, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens, yet, unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.

when they say a very long time, they're not kidding

you can see english translations of the novel here! i read chapters 1-25 from sakhyulations then 26-40 from deep dream translations. the whole novel has actually already been translated by yummysuika, but they took down their translations because tgcf is getting an official english release (you can get pre-orders now! im also saving up money to buy the physical book ughh) but if you search hard enough, you can find the whole novel (244 chapters + a few extras)

i recommend watching the animation first, then read the novel if you want to know what happens next (preferably from the beginning, the novel explains more details compared to the donghua)

the comic is a bit ahead of the animation, but i reckon you wouldn't be too happy to see the exact same events play out in three different mediums, so i recommend leaving that for last when you're left empty after finishing the novel and you're desperate for more content haha

i guarantee you that this book is fantastic. the story just pulls you in with the interesting plot and loveable characters (xie lian is one of my favorite protagonists ever) the romance is super good! you can see how much the main couple loves each other *sobs uncontrollably* and it's not just there for fan service, their relationship is very important to the story and UGH DAMN IT I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY-

a few words of warning: it's... angsty. like hella. it burns. it stabs you in the gut when you least expect it. heck, it stabs you even when you expect it. it hurts a damn lot. it's got a happy ending (according to other people, i'm still in book 3) but the road towards it is thorny.

also it has some body horror (in the novel, the donghua doesn't show much). not very explicit but it can gross you out if you're squeamish.

tldr: Y'ALL SHOULD GO READ IT, COWARDS

[anathemafiction]

I posted 308 times in 2021

232 posts created (75%)

76 posts reblogged (25%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 618 tags in 2021

#the golden rose - 249 posts

#asks - 80 posts

#mc - 46 posts

#anonymous - 40 posts

#fanart - 36 posts

#rambles - 36 posts

#alessa - 34 posts

#hadrian - 33 posts

#personal - 32 posts

#progress update - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i still want to test a few more things and i haven't had as much free time as i wish so i'm expanding the testing phase for a bit

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I heard back from Hosted Games!

And The Golden Rose's submission has officially been received! I'll admit, I was growing a tiny bit worried about the lack of a reply, thinking that maybe I messed up the submission in some way, so I almost squealed when I saw the email notification. 😄

Next, the game is being sent to Content Review. I reckon this is when they read the Rose and send me back their review along with anything I need to alter - which I hope won't be too much! This is the first time any of my work will be "professionally reviewed" and it is intimidating! But a part of me is also really curious about what they're going to say. Is my work worth publishing? Isn't that the golden question.

There is a bit of a queue, however - which is great, it means a lot of games are coming out! - and the Rose is quite a big game (one million and two hundred thousand words long) so I expect this process will take a while.

In the meanwhile, they sent me some supplementary documents to read and a list of assets they need from me before publication. I'll read everything carefully tomorrow, but I expect to start working on the outline for Book 2 on Monday. The writing itch has been increasingly harder to ignore. I've been doing so much reading lately, it makes me want to grab a pen even more!

So that is all! One more step forward. Patience truly is a virtue, one that I have always struggled with, so of course, life decided to put me to the test once more xD

Have a great rest of the week! 🌹

398 notes • Posted 2021-08-19 22:39:12 GMT

#4

Announcement

Hello, everyone! I've been wanting to make this post for a while, but I wanted to be sure before I shared anything, for only a fool makes the same mistake twice - and this one, in a row. 

As you may be aware, I did two weeks of beta testing with close to 45 wonderful testers participating. And the reviews were overwhelmingly positive (seriously, you guys gave me such a boost in confidence 😭). It made me even more eager to share this game with everyone - to read all your thoughts and reactions about it. 

However. However, three of those testers said something that cut me deep. Because the hardest criticism to hear is the one that deep down, you agree with. They told me that the ending was lacking. Not because of the content, but because it cut abruptly. It left them wanting for more, but not in the satisfying way you feel after a big, hearty meal. Looking forward to trying more dishes from the same cook. It left them looking for more as in: I am almost full, but something is missing still. 

I picked the cut-off point between Book 1 and 2 based on an image I had in my head - a mix of red and blue in a dramatic blaze. But, I realized as I read the reviews of these three testers, that I picked the cut-off point wrong. 

It needs more. The book needs one final chapter. 

And it is such an easy fix. What would be the beginning of Book 2 is now the end of the first one. So, I left my self-pitying aside and did what I love to do. I wrote! And have thus finished the first draft of Chapter 8 - the new final chapter. 

And... I love it. I am in love with it. Chapter 6 was my previous favorite chapter, but this one now takes the cake. It ties the whole book together so much more perfectly, with threads and clues coming united and how did I not realize this sooner? Why did I ever consider releasing the Book as it was before? I cannot stress how important it is to have fresh eyes looking at your work. 

Because I have all the answers in my head, everything makes sense to me. So, in my eyes, the first ending would have been perfect - because I had knowledge that, of course, the readers can't have! It seems so simple, but after you work on something alone for so many months, it's so easy to fall into this trap. This is a mistake I am vowing never to commit again. 

I am beyond grateful to my testers. They allowed me to craft this first Book into what it should have been all along. So much so that I'm embarrassed now about the whole beta process altogether - for I showed what I now consider an incomplete game to all of these wonderful people. 

All of this to say? I need about an extra month/month and a half to truly finish The Golden Rose. I am not done yet, as I have foolishly announced before. 

I know this will probably disappoint some of you - and you have every right to feel so. I am really sorry. I've been getting so many messages of support and excitement about the game, and I appreciate them so much. So it's with a very heavy heart that I'm telling you that I need more time. 

But, on the bright side, you'll have a longer game and more content to play once it does come out! 95% of the game is DONE - as in, coded and edited and shining. I've fixed all the continuity errors, all the bugs, and while I'm sure some typos have slipped through the cracks, at least the most outrageous ones are corrected too. 

The Rose is so close to being ready - I just need to add its finishing touches. And it will be such a better book because of them. 

Because I want to be completely transparent, I'll share my to-do list before submitting the game:

Finish the second draft of chapter 8 and the new Epilogue.

Write all the suggestions/expansion of choices from my beta testers.

Put it all into code.

Do one week of extensive playtesting.

Storytelling is one hell of a craft. It's a difficult one, oftentimes, a cruel one too. But it's one that, as long as you practice it, you get better. It may take months and years, it may be so slow, it seems as if you stand perpetually in the same place. But you get better. 

I've learned a lot, and I hope to continue learning even more. This was a particularly hard lesson to learn. A hard one to accept. One more chapter. I hope you all can understand. 

Have a great week, everyone! And I'll be sharing all the progress I make. I'm so EXCITED to start writing the second draft!!!! 🌹

426 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 16:31:02 GMT

#3

Hadrians heart rate when mc leans against him on the horse

Hadrians heart rate when mc holds his hands afterwards

His back is so straight, it could be made of stone.

Hadrian barely dares to breathe, the only air allowed out is through the tiniest crack in his lips. His face is heating, both from the pressure in his lungs and the intensity of your proximity.

Lord in Heaven.

He shouldn't have invited you to ride with him, but he had to. Billy seemed exhausted, and Hadrian couldn't bear to see you walk. Not after the roughness of the road, not after the bandits and that sword that had come so close to-

Hadrian briefly closes his eyes as you shift in front of him. Your legs on the saddle brush against his tighs, and Lord, he should have just given you Elly. He could have walked, why didn't he think it? But as his fingers tighten on the reigns, a small voice at the back of his head, a treasonous, sinful, undeserving voice whispers that he lies to himself. That he wouldn't have it any other way, now would he? The false decent of man that he is.

"... and beyond, the harbor."

Alessa's voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Hadrian opens his eyes to the night once again. Tarragona materializes in front of him, the road starting to ascend to the top of a hill.

Hadrian shakes his head. There are more important things to worry about. Like the maps, and this Rafael, and the fact that both you and Alessa kept him in the dark for so long. You don't trust him, he tells himself for the hundredth time. A dark wave starts to spill over his thoughts as Hadrian's eyes darken. You don't trust him, and why should you?

The road is steeper, Elly's hooves struggle for a moment, and you fall back on the saddle. Hadrian doesn't have time to process as a warm weight presses on his chest. It's not sudden but gradual, like the shift of slow-moving sands in the landscape of a desert. You don't clash against him, but melt instead, first your lower back, then your shoulder blades, and then his head is spinning when the back of your skull rests just between his collar bones.

His hands freeze on the reigns, his eyes fly open and if there's sand in his thoughts, there is sand right now in his throat and his ears and his tongue because they all feel numb and rough and Father from above, he can smell your hair and it sends his already spinning thoughts into a violent whirlwind.

He can feel his body locking, and vaguely, between the madness, he can feel you stiffing too. Can feel your hands twisting, can feel you start to lean away-

Hadrian lets out a sharp exhale. He's an idiot, one that you don't trust, but he's not as big an idiot as to let this go. His arms bend, and tentatively, feeling the tips of his ears burn with the fire of a thousand suns, he rests one hand against your stomach. He feels your intake of breath through both his fingertips and his chest, and he smiles, then, when you nuzzle closer still.

Father, you bless me.

His chin rests on top of your head, and Hadrian decides that he's done thinking. You're in his arms, on top of Elly, and the city doesn't look as menacing as before.

"The road eventually drives towards the sea." Alessa's voice cuts through the silence like a knife. She is staring with narrowed eyes. "But we will go east, find our way into the residential district."

His smile doesn't waver. He's done thinking. He can't. Not as his thoughts are made of senses, and those... those can feel nothing beyond you.

- - -

Your arms are wrapped around her, and Alessa does not mean to, but she can feel her spine lose its strength. Even as she rests against you, Alessa tries to keep her composure, tries to keep from making a complete fool of herself.

You hum faintly, the vibrations traveling from your chest and spreading through her back like the quakes following the step of a giant. And your voice tingles against her ear in a lazy rush that nonetheless makes a shiver run down her spine, and Alessa does not mean to. But whatever little distance her pride had forced her to keep disappears as she melts against you.

'Tis such a warm night, and tiredness looms too closely at the edges of her sight, and she did not mean to. But a sigh leaves her parted lips as you tuck her in, your warmth not unpleasant, your closeness much too safe and she is a fool, but Alessa decides then, that for the ride, just for this ride, she will not mind it so.

She will not mind it as the Devil's Bridge comes into view. She will not mind it as Kroner walks through the streets of Tarragona, with shadows on the corners and buildings with too many windows, too many possible hidden eyes. She will not mind it, she commands herself through clenched teeth and restless fingers. She will-

Your hands suddenly envelop her own. Alessa blinks and looks down to see your fingers intertwining with hers, your thumb making little soothing circles against her skin. The leather of the reigns feels too rough as she clenches them tight, as she instinctively locks all her joints and feels adrenaline spike as if she's rushing for combat.

She is too cold, she knows. Too cold because your hands, so comforting, lose their confidence. Alessa can feel your hesitance, and above all, in this short moment, in this ride she did not plan but can never regret, Alessa wishes to reassure you.

So, stiffly, always too stiff, she grabs your hands back and accepts your touch. Your cheek brushes her forehead, and she almost swears she can feel you smiling.

Fool.

But so is she, because Alessa smiles a secret smile as her muscles lose all tension and you intertwine as closely as your hands. Her fingertips find your wrist, and in there, she seeks the soft, faint rhythm of your heart. She cannot feel it on her back, beating through your chest, but Alessa imagines that she does. She imagines the sound pouncing in tandem with the one on your wrist, the vibrations enveloping her in a strange, new reality.

They pull her down, away from her doubts and fears. Away from her worries and thoughts of treasures stolen by bitter former allies.

The inn is right ahead, but Alessa wishes that the road could somehow stretch, that time could slow or even halt altogether. Her skin is too cold, she knows. It always is. But in your hands, she can feel it warm. And in your arms, she can feel herself calm.

And with your breathing in her ears and your pulse in her hands, Alessa lets herself go.

For a while. Just for this ride.

465 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 16:11:56 GMT

#2

Finished The Golden Rose

It is done. The whole game is written, edited, and coded. It took me four more months than I expected - I wanted to have reached this stage before the turn of the year - but then again, I never did anticipate reaching the million-word count.

When I started writing the Rose, the one thing I wanted was to make a game that I would like to have played. And I can say, proudly, that it is. I hope you'll all like it, of course, but at least I managed to meet my very first and most important goal.

Next, it follows the Beta testing. I think I will run it for about two weeks. I am... very nervous about it. The thought of people actually playing the whole game is both terrifying and exhilarating. I'll probably shake when those first reactions arrive 😩.

This is not a call for beta testers! I need to organize myself first. So please, don't send me applications yet!

The ship is not yet quite docked, but firm land is on sight. And what a journey it has been, uh? I hope the week goes amazing to you all! 🌹

595 notes • Posted 2021-04-11 15:48:01 GMT

#1

Submitted The Golden Rose

It is done. The edits are finished, the email is sent, and this project, this passion, this behemoth of an undertaking is thus completed. 

I can still barely believe it. 

I know there's still road to walk before publication, but right now, I feel like it's out of my hands. The Rose has gained wings, and it flies away from me. And I cannot wait until it's there for you all to see. 

I want to thank everyone who walked with me along this journey, either from the very beginning, when we were all still starry-eyed travelers and had no idea how many miles stretched before us. Or those who joined recently, lending me your enthusiasm, making me strengthen my weary spirit. 

I know it sounds so cheap and cliche, but I could never have done this without all your support. I mean it. I know the blog has been terribly quiet since I've been 100% focused on finishing Book One, on accomplishing exactly this: submitting the game. But all the likes on my progress update posts, all the comments and reblogs, and the supportive asks. It all meant so much. 

I've said before how writing can be so incredibly lonely, but you have all made it that it wasn't. Somehow, by some miracle, it really wasn't. 

So, thank you. Thank you so very much. 

I'll have a few moments of rest in the shade, allow my blistering feet to heal for a bit. Maybe listen to the wind rustling the tree leaves, and feel its touch on my heated skin. I'll allow myself to close my eyes and watch the sunlight through the thin layer of my eyelids. I'll rest this burden for a while. Just a little while. 

Because I've been dreaming of Book 2, and I feel its pull. So I'll take a rest. I'll take a respite. Before straightening up and continue on that road that goes forever forward, chasing the impossible line of the horizon. 

Have a great weekend everyone! 🌹

940 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 21:11:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[astro-rain]

delicate; b. barnes

chapter nine- “to have or not to have indoor plumbing”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2.3k

synopsis: no fallout shelter is perfect. sometimes you need to think outside the box... or outside the bunker, that is.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: what did you think of this chapter? what do you want to see next? PLS let me know! :))

Light did not shine through the windows and cast a bronze glow on the floor like it did in the castle quarters. He didn't hear the soft buzz of the cicadas like he usually did in the morning. He didn't wake to an empty room with familiar beautiful Wakandan tapestries.

This was because Bucky Barnes awoke in an underground shelter with no windows, stone reinforced walls, and a sleeping psychologist in the bed next to him. Somehow... this wasn't that bad.

He woke up before her, as to be expected. His body was pretty much programmed to be up in the early morning. That, and any time he slept for too long his mind conjured up remnants of horrors from the past.

The super soldier stood up from the bed and stretched his back and arm. It was quiet. A relaxed, enjoyable quiet. Y/N was still sleeping. He wondered what time it was. He didn't have a watch, and he didn't see any clocks in the bunker. He assumed she probably had her phone, but he wouldn't wake her just to ask the time.

He glanced around the room, and his eyes landed on the panther key. Perhaps he could go outside for a bit, gauge the time, scope out the area, get some sun. He never was overly enthusiastic about the sun, but since being in Wakanda, he had grown to love the warmth.

Warmth was a welcome change from the brutalizing cold Hydra put in his bones. Cold was past agony and torment, but warmth. Warmth was the rich, golden promise of remedy that gleamed on his skin.

Just thinking about it made him yearn for the outside sun and the way it enveloped his skin in amber rays. It felt safe here.

Usually, he couldn't stop his mind from worrying and expecting all the good in his life to somehow crash down around him. However, he couldn’t help but feel safe in Wakanda, no matter what he did. He felt safe in Wakanda and with Y/N, even though they were in a bunker hiding from a country's takeover-

"Bucky?" A raspy voice called out.

He turned around, not realizing he had walked over to the table, where the panther key was sitting. It looked just as regal and ferocious as it did before.

"G'Morning," he smiled.

She sat up on her elbows, avoiding hitting her head on the top bunk.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked. "Nightmares still?"

"Last night wasn't bad," he shrugged. "Still... there, but I got some decent hours in."

"That's good," Y/N yawned. "I'd like to work more on the nightmares soon. See if we can find any improvement. But don't worry, no 'Interpretation of Dreams' shit because I refuse to dignify most Freudian theories."

He let out a breathy chuckle. Sometimes Y/N would go into what he, in his head, called her silly psychologist speech. She would momentarily forget that Bucky wasn't an academic, and use big words to talk about things he'd never even heard of. Sometimes she would slip into psychologist mode when she wasn't "on duty."

"Are we movin' the sessions out here now?" he joked.

"Damn," she snickered. "My bad. No more psych talk in here, I promise."

"It's alright, I don't mind," he shrugged. "S'just you bein' you."

"I guess. I don't know to be anyone else, so."

“I would expect nothing less of you.”

Y/N then moved the blanket off of her legs to stand up out of the bed, just before stopping short, staring at the bed she was sitting on. He could almost see the gears turning in her head.

"Did I make the bed last night in a frenzy of exhaustion and not remember it?"

He laughed. "No."

She furrowed her brows and cocked her head to the side, confused and waiting for an explanation.

"I made it - well, as best as I could... all things considered."

Her face changed, melting into an endearing look of gratitude.

"Thank you Buck," she smiled. "Way better than sleeping on the floor."

She didn't say anything else regarding it, and he was glad. What she didn't know was that he put her in the bed after he made it. She was so exhausted, he didn't want to wake her. The task proved itself exceptionally challenging with one arm. However, super soldier strength and determination was a worthy advantage.

"Do you know what time it is?" he asked.

"Umm," she dragged out, finally standing up from the bed. "Not sure, I'll have to find my phone and- oh shit"

"What?"

"I don't have a charger."

"Oh. I'll uh look around and see if there's one stored down here."

Y/N stood still and looked around the room. Her eyes landed on the space heater and her expression dropped.

"Bucky..."

"What's wrong?"

"Do you remember what I said yesterday about the heater?"

"Not... really. Jog my memory?"

She quoted herself. "I doubt they could get electric or plumbing out here."

"Oh yeah," he still wasn't following.

"There's no shower down here... or toilet..."

He looked around and it hit him. "Oh."

"That's..." she trailed off, "a bit inconvenient."

He saw her begin to fidget with her hands.

"What are we supposed to do?" she asked. "We can't like... pee in buckets or something."

Bucky scratched the stubble on his face, about to suggest something he knew she wouldn't like.

"Well, before you woke up, I was thinkin' about going outside to get an idea of the time and maybe get some sun. We can go out and see if we can find a fresh water source or something. It's not perfect, but it's better than buckets."

"Outside? Is that not dangerous?"

"Danger is a possibility, but we're pretty far out from the castle grounds. I doubt anyone comes out this far or even knows about the shelter."

She took a deep breathe in. "I don't know..."

He could hear the uncertainty and weariness in her voice.

"If you're not comfortable, I can just go look and come back, tell you if it's safe, if there's water nearby," he offered.

"No. I'm going with you."

"I thought-"

"You’re not going alone. I'll grab my shoes and we can go."

Well then.

"As you wish, oh wise one."

"Smartass."

He grabbed the panther key and tossed it to her with a smile.

-

"So... how does one locate a water source?" Y/N asked, her footsteps beside Bucky's.

The Wakandan sun beat down on them. They'd only been walking for a few minutes, and they were already sweating.

"Keep an eye out for mud. If the ground is wet, chances are there's water nearby."

She nodded.

"Hey," she smirked, "Have you ever heard of Bear Grylls?"

He could hear the smile in her voice.

"No, but I have a feeling whatever that is is being used to poke fun at me?"

She huffed in a fake gasp, feigning over-exaggerated shock. "I'd never do such a thing!"

"Hey! I'm doing this so we don't have to pee in buckets. A teeny tiny bit of gratitude would go a long way."

"Apologies. Please accept my most heartfelt thanks, my dear old friend."

"Who you callin' old?"

"I don't know, does a hundred seem old to you?"

"You know, it’s disrespectful to mock the elderly,” he fake scolded.

"Yeah, well don't disrespect your mental healthcare provider."

"I didn't! You started-"

"Water!" she shouted, cutting him off. “Look!”

In front of Y/N's pointed finger was the end of a tiny stream. The source was somewhere ahead of them. And so they followed, continuing their trek beneath the sun's sweltering rays. It really was oppressively hot.

-

"Holy..." Bucky muttered.

"Shit," Y/N finished.

He gave her a look and he she shrugged, fighting off a laugh.

They stood facing a beautiful scene: a modest waterfall flowed over mossy stone and poured out into a little pool of crystal clear water. It was quaint and secluded, surrounded by rocks and trees. This was wonderfully fortuitous for the two of them as they were still technically in hiding. The pool of water was relatively shallow; he could see the bottom, but it was still deep enough to submerge his whole body and them some. The pressure from the waterfall looked mild enough to go under; perhaps it could act as a makeshift shower.

"This definitely works. Much better than buckets," Y/N commented.

Then she began to untie her boots, take off her socks, and sit with her feet in the water.

"Holy hell it's hot," she groaned, wiping a hand across her forehead. He noticed that she had been squinting for the last couple of minutes. "Buck, do you know if the water is clean to drink or swim in?"

"Why don't you taste test it? Then we'll know for sure."

She turned her head to him, an emotionless expression on her face.

"I don't give a damn about the super serum, I can and will drown you, Barnes."

A laugh came from deep in his chest. "I'm just playin'. The water looks fine, you should be good."

She cupped her hands to scoop up some of the water and threw it at him.

"Hey!"

"Aw, you look so refreshed now," she cooed sarcastically.

"That was uncalled for."

"Perhaps. Hey, how long until we have to go back?"

"We're not really on a set schedule. Whenever you're ready, I guess. It's not like we have things to do."

"Do I have time to like dunk real quick? It's deathly hot and I don't wanna walk back in this heat."

Dunk in the water? There are no swim suits here...

"Oh-uh... uh y-yeah, do you want me to like... wait over there-or-“

"I’m goin’ in with my clothes on,” she deadpanned. Straight and to the point, like she didn’t want any type of confusion about the situation.

“Oh,” he breathed. “You’d rather walk back in soaked clothes?”

“Yes.”

"I mean sure, knock yourself out. But be careful, some parts look pretty deep."

"I'm know how to swim, Buck,” she smiled. “Don’t fret.”

He hummed an "okay," before looking around the entire waterfall area. Instinctively, he started walking the perimeter, making sure they would be safe. He didn't know how he hadn't done it sooner. He must've been distracted.

The soldier made his way through trees and over rocks until he returned to the spot facing the center of the waterfall pool. He watched as Y/N's head slowly ascended from the water. She opened her eyes, and as her gaze found him, confusion washed over her face.

"Bucky, aren't you hot?"

"I mean, it’s warm, but I think I'm more useful out keepin' watch."

"Are you sure?" she laughed, tossing more water at him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, clumsily trying to jump and dodge out of the way of the water flinging at him.

Y/N shamelessly continued. "The water's just fine! It's so refreshing and cooooool!"

Bucky's attempts at dodging the water were very much in vain. Soon enough his grey shirt had splatters of Wakandan waterfall water all over it.

He only laughed some more. "Come on! You're comprising our security!"

She stopped.

"Wait- I'm sorry. Am I actually?"

His breathing slowed, but his smile remained. "No, it's okay. I just think it's safer for at least one of us to stay out and be aware. I can go in next time."

"Okay," she frowned.

At the edge of the water, closest to grass, the ground descended into layers, creating a sort of makeshift staircase that sloped into the pool. Y/N floated over to the stairs, and leaned her elbows on the second highest step so that the water settled just below her shoulders. He watched as her legs floated straight up behind her, and each edge of her clothing moved up and down languidly in the water as if they were breathing with its movement.

In response, Bucky sat down at the waters edge, removing his own shoes and socks, rolling up his pant legs and resting his feet in the pool.

"There, now we're meetin' in the middle."

Y/N spared a gentle smile.

"Buck," she asked softly, "can I ask you a question?"

His brows furrowed at the sudden change in tone. "Mm hm."

He was expecting some kind of serious question, but instead, he watched yet another mischievous smirk grow across her face.

"Don't you have to pee?"

He rolled his eyes, and splashed her with as much water as he could cup in his hand. Y/N let out a burst of loud, boisterous laughter, wiping the water from her eyes.

"Why, do you?! Do I have to worry about feeling some warm water!!"

"No! I already went..."

"Oh, ew!" he howled with laughter.

"Not like that! I did it behind a tree while you were makin' your rounds."

"Well thank you for not christening our only clean water source."

"You are quite welcome, James Buchanan Barnes."

His brain slowed at the sound of his full name. He almost didn't feel the barely-there smile that turned the sides of his mouth up ever so slightly. Time became lazy, and his line of sight came to a leisurely stop directly at Y/N's face.

He got a good look at the reflective water droplets all over her skin, and the way some were falling off while others stayed perfectly still. He got a good look at how her waterlogged eye lashes stuck together in bigger clumps, making darker shades of black that contrasted her eye color, and how her wet hair was slicked back and flowed down her neck. He got a good look at the teeny tiny drops of waterfall that settled in her eyebrows, and how he had only been this close to her very few times before.

He couldn't tell why, but he wanted to take a mental snapshot of this moment. The charming imperfection of her was so genuine, so endearing, so alluring. He found himself having a hard time finding the motivation to look away. He must be tired or something.

He hadn’t noticed how still she was as well. But then, gradually, her smile went away, and her face was replaced with a neutral but poised expression. She slowly floated back from him, putting space between them.

"Can we go back now?" she asked. "I think the sun is giving me a headache."

"Y-Yeah, 'fcourse," he said, unprepared to do anything but fulfill her request.

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Our Doll 13//Rumlow

B.Barnes x S.Rogers, B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

Series Synopsis | After the events of the horrific past, y/n Stark, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have finally admitted their feelings for each other. But is life as an avenger whilst dating two super soldiers any easier than anything y/n’s experienced in the past?

sequel Series to Their Doll

Series Warnings | smut, violence, torture, swearing, threesomes, drug usage/substance abuse

Chapter Summary | Peter comes up with a plan to get y/n to safety. Steve attempts to find the man controlling her

Warnings | swearing maybe? Slight violence

A/n | This is a sequel book/series to my fic Their Doll! This book loosely follows the mcu timeline, starting in CAWS in book one and starting just before AOU in this book. Bucky had been recovered and is safe, and Peter was taken under Tony's wing when he was much younger.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The plan was simple.

Get in, get her out.

Peter, to his credit, had thought through the plan in such detail that Bucky was strained to find a fault. Even a small one.

The boy had recruited Bucky and Wanda to reenact his scheme, the two being the only people he knew would be one hundred percent on board.

Other than Steve, who was on a 'very important mission' and wouldn't tell anyone about it. All they knew was that he'd taken a strike team with him and didn't know when he would be back.

He'd thought through everything: how to avoid triggering any alarms, which doors to use, who would do what to make everything seem less suspicious. He'd even considered the physics of anyone being able to spot them running from any of the rooms around the back of the compound, from any angle.

Just in case someone was angsty and couldn't sleep, he'd informed Bucky and Wanda.

Peter was currently hanging from the side of the glassy building, webs holding strong as he leant his weight back into them and waited for the signal.

Bucky was down in the cell with y/n, under the pretence of checking on her as Wanda used her powers to break into the security system. The aim was to retrieve y/n without making a sound, or alert the others.

A flash of red. The quiet click of a door shutting.

Peter took his cue.

The boy swung down, quickly webbing the heavy, metal door shut when the flutter of ginger had followed Bucky and y/n out the back of the compound.

Door sealed and little chance of a break-in, Peter goaded the three Avengers past the tree line as he swung from branch to creaky branch.

"Go, go, go!" His voice was coming out as a hoarse whisper as Bucky's legs worked mechanically - y/n's sleeping frame locked tightly against his chest as Wanda followed closely behind.

The girl's head kept turning, checking behind them to see if anyone was following. But no one was ever there, only the crisscrossed leaves and shrubs covering their tracks with such accuracy that the scarlet witch could hardly believe it.

Bucky broke through the clearing just after Peter, the young boy already holding the car door open for Bucky to slide his girl onto the backseat.

The car was run-down and shabby - looking just old enough to blend in but not too obvious as if to scream 'were trying to be inconspicuous'.

The car door shut as slowly as Bucky could make it before he was running around to the front - bionic arm yanking the driver's side door open before he hopped in himself.

"Are you going to be alright?" Wanda asked, only a hint of her accent left to grace her voice now. Bucky nodded, nimble fingers twisting the keys in the ignition until the car roared to life.

She wiggled her fingers, a movement Bucky struggled not to find funny, and a little stream of glowing crimson flowed from them. It curled under y/n's nose, the sleeping girl instantly groaning with protest as she begun to stir.

"Tell Steve I'm sorry, but this was the only way." Bucky gritted out, throat dry and sticky as the words crawled into his mouth. Wanda nodded, ready to walk away when Bucky's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"And give him this - but only when he starts to look for us." Bucky proclaimed, taking a ruffled envelope from one of his pockets; the paper was crinkled and creased, had clearly been stuffed into his pocket for a while now.

Wanda took the letter between her fingers, a small tear pricking at her eye when she read the name scribbled over the back in rushed - yet somehow neat - handwriting:

My greatest love...

"I will, he'll get it." Wanda nodded, folding the envelope and pushing it into her back pocket. "I promise."

"Thank you." With his last words spoken, Bucky gave a thankful nod to Peter - who had hung back awkwardly behind Wanda until now - before rolling his window up and pressing his foot on the accelerator.

Steve's foot stung as it crashed through the door, yet the super soldier ignored it as he paced past the now-splintered wood with little care.

"Where is he?!" Steve spat, the words like a venom in his mouth as he crowded a cowering man in black tack gear. His strike team followed closely behind, guns raised in a defensive position just in case there were unexpected hostiles in the room.

"I-I don't know! I swear!" The man stuttered, teeth clashing together as he stumbled blindly backwards towards a wall. He squeaked when he made contact with the bricks, sucking in a breath as Steve held his shield against the man's neck.

"I don't believe you." Steve grated through bared teeth, the vein popping out in his forehead as he flushed red with anger. "Tell me."

"Okay! Okay, I'll tell you." The man whimpered as Steve pressed the shield harsher against his oesophagus, his shaking hands raised in hopeless surrender. "He's in a safe house, a few miles from here - he recently came back for supplies then left. He said he'd never be coming back."

Steve pulled away as the man cowered, a shout of annoyance ripping from his throat as he threw the shield against the wall.

Steve grunted as he caught the vibranium, looking over to his team.

"We need to find him! I won't have my girlfriend controlled by some- some monster!" Steve barked. A chorus of 'yes, Captain's echoed from the men. Someone was already on comms and Steve was careering back across the room.

"Captain, we may have a location." One of his men spoke up sheepishly after a moment, pulling away from their laptop.

"And?" Steve prompted, brow raised.

"It's only a few miles north - we could be there within minutes and they'd never see us coming." Steve sprung into action at the words; he pushed off the table he'd been leant against and made his way outside the building they'd just breached.

"Find a car with keys in - our vans are too obvious and can be spotted from a mile away." Steve directed.

"Yes, Captain." One of his team said, and they were quickly followed by two others as they went in search for a car.

"We need to be quick and inconspicuous - turn off the comms, they may be able to detect the link. I want all out - if we fail, y/n could never be back to full control again. Got it?" Steve finished his instruction as he turned around to face the rest of his team and they all nodded. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, captain!" They all agreed.

"Then get to it."

So much for a simple plan.

...

"B-bucky? Where am I?" Y/n's voice was saturated with sleep, drowsy and dopey as she propped her frame up on her elbow. "Where are we?"

"We're going somewhere safe, Doll. You're going to be safe now." Bucky promised, blue eyes flitting to meet y/n's in the mirror as he kept his hands on the steering wheel in a firm grip.

"Where's Steve?" Bucky felt his heart drop at the words. This was the only downfall of Peter's plan - they'd have to leave Steve.

"He's on a mission." Bucky answered simply.

"He's not coming with us, is he?" Y/n affirmed, eyes glinting with a hue of guilt.

"No."

"What- I had some dreams...I think." Y/n mumbled, pressing her hand to her forehead as she felt a dull ache forming.

"Were they good?" Bucky asked, making a left at a junction. Y/n took a moment to assemble her words.

"The best. It was- it was our life, Bucky. But it was..." she trailed off, pieces of her story shattering away from her memory.

"In the 40s?" Bucky finished for her and y/n's eyes widened.

"Yes. How did you know?" Y/n demanded with squinted eyes and Bucky chuckled lightly.

"They weren't dreams, doll. Wanda made a new reality in your mind. Someone was getting in so we had to keep them out. Now put your seatbelt on." Bucky explained and y/n have him a glare.

"So who, uh, how was it possible?" Y/n queried as she sat up properly. The soft click of her buckle filled the space of the small car until Bucky answered.

"Wanda. She's been so helpful, that Parker boy too." Bucky commented and y/n quirked a brow.

"Peter?"

"Yeah, this whole plan to get you out was his idea. Smart boy." Bucky commended.

"Huh." The girl considered. "Do you know who was - what did you say? - 'getting into' my mind?" Bucky sucked in a breath. Y/n frowned and nudged his shoulder with the tips of her fingers. "Tell me."

"Rumlow."

Bucky Barnes Series/mini Series | @buckysgirl101 @quxxnxfhxll @marvelhoesworld @macylawz @zaphdekota @theoldermanswhore @addriaenne @thegirlwiththeimpala @turkish276 @lilpopizzle @gooseyhouse @ohmy-fandoms @harrysthiccthighss @partiesandblurrypolaroids @prettysbliss @the-surviving-revolutionist @white-wolf1940 @dpaccione @tenaciousperfectionunknown @loveyou5everr @vallerydevora @multihoee @supraveng @cap-n-ce @sebbyxlover @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @veronicapaula @ravenmoore14 @frickin-bats @itstaylorcale @sunflowerbunny2 @spookyparadisesheep

[yandere-wishes]

💔Rotten Love💔 //Twisted Wonderland Yandere Idia Shroud X Yandere Eliza X Reader// Part 1

GIF made by the amazing @flowerofthemoonworld. Okay, so this story is really going to have a Persephone x Reader x Hades vibe to it. If we can get this to 160 likes before July 12 than I’ll release part 2. For now, my goal is to make it a 4 part story with a bonus 5th fluff chapter. Also for this story reader will be GENDER NEUTRAL.

WARNING: Gore, Angst

💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙

There was always a cold, nostalgic air in the Ignihyde dormitory, a sort of homey sensation that made Eliza's heart skip a beat. Sure the dorm was quiet and secluded, unlike the ghost kingdom, there was barely anyone to talk to. Most may have even described it as "lonesome" and "boring". But to princess Eliza who had waited more than five hundred years to be with her prince charming, it was unadulterated, homespun bliss. Of course, there was still something missing, a tiny puzzle piece that refused to fit in with the rest of its kind, a stubborn little piece it was, yet all too important to paint the picture of her perfect life. That mulish fragment came in the form of her newly wedded husband, Idia Shroud.

"Idia~"

The "young" princess sang as she skipped over to where her "husband" was sitting, his posture crooked, like that of a scrunched up cat's. His long slender fingers where typing rapidly on that bizarre rectangular device that he all too attached to. Way too attached to, for Eliza's liking.

Eliza nuzzled her visage into the crook of the bleached-skinned boy's neck, taking in his smokey, ash-like sent. Her icy colored arms wafted over his shoulders, enclosing them his a tight embrace. Her fingers dangled over where his heart was, feeling tiny fast-paced pulses that sent a pleased blush to her face. "Idia let's go for a walk near that river. Please, my love! You haven't left this room since the reception!"

The taller male barely turned to look at her, preferring to instead to keep his eyes locked on his glowing blue screen. "Still busy Eliza" his cold dead voice was always so sharp and monotone whenever he spoke to her. It felt like someone was reaching into her rib cage and squeezing her decaying heart. Her voice cracked into a thousand tiny shards, as she tried to form a comprehensible answer. He might as well have told her to die again and rot in the deepest parts of hell. He doesn't love me....he'll never love me. The relation was like a heavy chronic toxic gas levitating overhead. Easy to overlook but still there, always there. Idia didn't move, if Eliza's arms weren't wrapped around his shoulders feeling every breath he took, she might have mistaken him for a statue. No, not a statue, she thought, some sort of sculpture of an ancient Greek God. A divine being set in stone resting in an altar, waiting for reparations and benedictions. 'I'd gladly pray at your feet every day. I'd sacrifice everything I had just for you to smile that charming smile at me'. The ghost thought to herself.

For an endless minute, the darkroom fell into a thick, suffocating silence. Neither Eliza nor Idia moved both too scared of breaking some invisible glass wall they had put up around them. However, no amount of serenity could dispose of the awkwardness, and annoyance Idia was beginning to feel. "You know" the lord of the dead began "maybe you should talk to the principle about join the school full time. It would give you more to do than breathing over my shoulder" despite Idia's tone harboring no malice, Eliza still flinched in shock. Her body going rigid, stiffening as if she was going into Rigor Mortis again.

HE DOESN'T WANT YOU HERE!

The voice in her head screamed,

HE HATES YOU!

Louder...

WHY CANT YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE

"Please stop" she whispered

YOU DON’T DESERVE YOUR PRINCE!

"If that's what you want" she finally replied in a broken voice.

"I'm... I'm only saying it for your sake," he muttered in a coaxing tone.

Deep down a delusional part of her wanted to scream that he was only saying all those harsh things for her own well-being. But she was still lucid enough to not believe those fallacies, imaginary words...Eliza perceived that her beloved prince Idia saw her as nothing more than a nuisance.  One that he was far too eager to get rid of. 

She couldn't bear the conversation any farther. Painfully slowly she peeled her arms off from around her so-called lover. In that taunting minute, Eliza swore she could feel billions upon billions of sharp needles piercing every piece of her dead body. She lingered in place staring at Idia's glowing, blazing hair. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to spend every second of her dead life with him! Touching him, kissing him, loving him! But he wouldn't love her! Why didn't he love her!! Without a customary goodbye or any form of acknowledgment, Eliza flew to the door. Swinging it open just a crack, wishing to slam it so hard that the whole underworld dorm would feel it. But alas she was still royalty and there was a politeness beaten into her every action. In the end after much debating, she closed the damn door quieter than a mouse. With a broken heart and eyes full of tears, princess Eliza began to hover up onto the surface of the school grounds.

WHY DOESN'T THAT SELFISH BASTARD LOVE ME!

A simple blaring thought that reverberated through Eliza's nonexistent skull as she marched through the glowing green halls of Night Raven College. Unlike Ignihyde, the rest of the school still felt rather alien and terrifying to the girl. She'd only been in the cafeteria for a short amount of time. Only to finish up her official marriage to Idia. After the marriage -and much persuasion from his friend with grey hair and glasses-  Idia had carried Eliza in the traditional manner a groom must carry a bride, to the hall of mirrors and straight to Ignyhde. Neither of them had left Idia's room since then.

It was a rather short memory but one that always placed a smile on Eliza's face. Rather than remembering the halls, Eliza had been all too bewitched by Idia's shy golden gaze, his bloody red face, and his kissable thin blue lips. Such a darling memory that she would always cherish within her rotten heart.

But as the minutes ticked away and Eliza passed hallway after hallway all identical to one another, she soon began to wish that she'd paid more attention to the whereabouts of the school's rooms and offices. The headmaster's office seemed to be missing from this endless maze. Behind every corner was the same tiled floor, candles lit by a mystical green light and windows so large they put the countless classroom doors to shame. Every few minutes a crowd of students would pass by, disappearing behind another wall withing second. No one noticed her, which was rather odd considering she was the only female in an all-boys school, her purple dress and feminine curves were proof enough of that. "I guess this is the result of being a ghost, wandering the land of the living" She whispered hopelessly to herself. "You're invisible when you're me..."

The eighth turn that Eliza took brought her to a small cluster of peculiar students. Some donning ears and tails like those of wild beasts, while the other had odd features resembling Ortho's limps. Metallic and reflective. They were laughing at something, attentions enclosed within their small groups. A measly thought flew into Eliza's head, why not speak up? Raise your voice and ask where she could locate the headmaster of this complex establishment.

"Excuse me."

“....”

Silence

None of the boys turned to her, they just continued with there chatter. Eliza opened her mouth to speak once more when she -rather unwillingly- picked up stray words from their conversation.

"It's not fair!" A tall lanky one with striped ears and tail whined

"Yeah! How come that useless shut-in gets to get married to a cute girl !" the second one was even taller, with thick furry grey ears that reminded Eliza of a wolf.

"Look man I don't know what Idia has that makes him so damn lucky! He's a useless wimp..." A Bold statement made by the one with metallic features.

Eliza was sure they continued bashing Idia but the phantom pain of blood coursing through her ears droned them out. How dare such hooligans speak ill of her beloved husband! Her fingers flexed in a robotic-like movement, stretching open than closing once more. Around her tiny flame-like spirits began to materialize, cute and cheery with big eyes and smiling mouths...until they noticed the distress of their mistress. the tiny things took a look around, grasping the situation from the loud words of the boys as well as Eliza's grim expression. Slowly the little flames began to merge with one another. Fusing into a large ax with a burning end. The weapon floated down to her hand, positioning itself smugly between her ghostly digits.

Eliza's eyes locked with the backs of the boys, she didn't know how this would work, could the ax could even harm the living? It may just phase through them as if nothing had happened....or it may price through there flesh and bones, tearing them in two. Hosting the ax up over her shoulder with both hands and taking a shaky step forward, Eliza lunged towards the first boy. In a swift flick of her wrist, the blade of the ax was pushing through the Ignihyde student's back. Splitting ceaselessly at the skin and urging past muscles until it reached the creamy colored bones. Eliza didn't stop there, her arms still pushing forward trying to get the heavy ax to break those pesky osseins. He had to pay for what he said! No one was permitted to speak ill of her one true love! A satisfying crack filled the air followed by a choir of screams. Only when the ax had finally resurfaced on the other side, covered in plasma and the remnants of organs, did Eliza turned her attention to the other two students. There eyes where enormous staring at her in disgust and fear...and something else. Something that -although it revolted her to her very core- she wished Idia would look at her with that same look in his eyes. A look of want, a look of need, pure lust, yet the welcoming sort ONLY if it was coming from the person you adored so much.

The blue-haired ghost didn't move, her semi existent body felt overworked. Everything hurt! Or at least she thought what she was feeling was the ghost equivalent to human pain. "Why.." her voice glitched at every syllable, like a broken cassette player. The two boys didn't answer instead taking shall strides backward. "WHY DID YOU SAY SUCH AWFUL THINGS ABOUT HIM!" in a split second, anger over ran Eliza's boy once more, dragging her and the ax forward until the blade came in contact with one of the animal eared men's neck. Slicing it so it flung backward, crashing onto the ground with loud "thud" then rolling around in its own gore. The last man stand, the one with monochrome ears pushed his palms forward, a pathetic attempt of shielding himself from her wrath. "W-we..we d-d-did...didn't-t mean...mean any..offense...honest!" His voice creaked as tears gushed from the corners of his eyes. "You're...you're just so...so...pretty...beautiful even...and...and...Shroud well...we...well, he's a loser who w-w-wouldn't kno--" his words were left half-finished, as Eiza's ax severed through him diagonally.  

Her heart was pounding much too fast, that it was beginning to make her feel sick. Her legs finally gave up, sending her crashing onto the blood coated floor.  Her bare knees dug into the red liquidy substance, finding an odd comfort in the warm human ichor. Eliza didn't know what to do, or even where to go. If she went back to Idia like this he would surely use it against her, Ortho was too young to be introduced to such a carnage...and she didn't know anyone else! "I'm all so very doomed" she sobbed as transparent tears trailed down her eyes.

"Hey" A distant voice spoke up. "What's wrong with her?" another voice, this one more high pitch and raspy. Eliza tore her face from her hands looking up at a group of three strangers and a cat...no, not strangers, she recognized the orange and blacked haired boy. They both had tried to crash her wedding. But the other person was new, they had a gentle look in their eyes, a welcoming stare that the princess longed for. "Hey ghost bride," The orange-haired boy spoke up, "need some help with your mess?" Eliza nodded meekly. Her body still limp and voice still too frail to speak. The last person, the one that had unexpectedly piqued Eliza's interest extended a hand towards her. And with only a scrap of hesitation, Eliza gripped it.

"Come on, we'll help you out!"

💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 👻💙 

Tags: @yandere-romanticaa​ @ghostiebabey​ @lovee-infected​ @mermaid-painter​ @firemelody4​ also tagging @twstpasta​ and @delusional-obsessions​ cause I know they're huge Eliza fans.

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 10

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, is showered in love and support, learns how to be a person again, and tries to protect those like him from going through what he did.

Content warnings: Panic attacks, vomiting, Caleb's backstory

Chapter summary: There's not a lot Caleb can do right now, but he can teach a hurting teenager a new spell and reunite him with his very much alive parents.

Chapter notes: I 100% believe that Astrid knows the Nein call Essek "Hot Boi." Chapter title is from Ghost by Jacob Lee.

****

Chapter 10: And I'm just a stranger who could be a friend

The first thing Caleb did was flip to the page in his spellbook where he had transcribed the Sending spell. It was far into the book. As he pulled out his copper wire, Felix made a sound of surprise.

“You learned this recently?” asked Felix.

“Ja, I travelled with a cleric friend for a long time who had the spell,” Caleb replied. “Not Caduceus; he was there too, though. Jester seemed to enjoy casting it at everyone, even mere acquaintances, so I never saw the need for it.”

“What made you learn it?”

“Jester insisted a few weeks ago, so I could talk to her while we were apart. I knew another wizard who could teach me, and we were spending a great deal of time alone together exploring Aeor, and exchanging theories.”

Felix, despite his distress, was absolutely smirking at Caleb and he was not about to deal with teasing from an actual child. “So… exchanging theories in Aeor? Is that what old people call it now?”

“Hush.” Caleb ran Felix through the basic somatic motions of the spell, before demonstrating it himself. “Hallo, Caduceus. I am teaching Felix the Sending spell. It will take a few hours. Let me know if anything happens.”

“Hey, Caleb. Beau has the monks looking for Nico. They’re playing nice with the Volstrucker, apparently. Don’t miss dinner.”

“Right, so you can have a single two-way exchange out of the one casting,” said Felix. “What’s the word limit again?”

“Twenty-five words. Now, this is a third-level spell. It will take some effort for you at the moment.”

“I’ve been to school, Bren. I know what spell levels are.”

“Call me Caleb. Or Professor Widogast, if you prefer. I do teach here now.”

“Fuck off.”

“Caleb’s fine.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Professor.”

This was better. Caleb could work with impetuous children. Most children he knew were like that. Caleb could tune his behaviour to whatever Felix seemed to find most calming. Or at least distracting.

Felix had great attention to detail, methodically copying out Caleb’s transcription of the spell and yet still finding excuses to make fun of Caleb along the way. It was comfortable, more than Caleb had expected. Felix only knew him by reputation, and one put forward by Trent, no less.

Maybe it was the shared trauma. Maybe it was the fact Caleb was teaching him something. Or because Caleb, despite being a professor here, wasn’t trying to inhabit a position of authority over him in the way Trent had.

Snacks were delivered to the room about halfway through the process. Felix paid it little mind, and that was painfully familiar.

“Felix.” Caleb could not believe he was enforcing a break. That he had become the kind of person who would pull a focused wizard away from study for mere human needs such as food. But he was responsible for Felix, at least for now, and that was a frightening pressure.

“Busy.”

Caleb closed his own spellbook, taking away Felix’s source for transcription. In its place, he put a bowl of fruit. “Eat.”

Felix paused, his pen hovering over the page, frowning. Then he slowly set it down and sullenly grabbed a plum. Caleb sat back against the wall, nibbling on a handful of grapes.

“Don’t forget to stretch before we get back to it.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Why are you like this?”

“Listen, I’ve had many people do this for me in the last year alone. So I’m paying it forward, and you are going to accept that.” Caleb tried to throw a grape into his mouth, and missed. He grabbed it off the floor and popped it into his mouth. Chewed. Swallowed. “It’s good for you.” If any of the Nein had heard him say that, they probably would have fainted from shock. It was easier to give this advice than to follow it himself.

“I can see why Trent fucking hates you.”

Caleb snorted. “Oh, this does not scratch the surface of Trent’s problems with me.” He threw another grape, catching it in his mouth this time. “Did anyone tell you what my friends and I did to him?”

“No.”

“Well, he tried to ambush us at Caduceus’s family home. One of my friends may have ‘acquired’ evidence of his experiments from Vergesson, and he was upset that I refused to entertain his ego while busy with bigger problems. By the time we were done with him, Astrid and Wulf were on our side, my friends had permanently glued a silencing collar around his neck, and used the leftover glue to stick his hands together. And that glue was in the shape of a dick.”

“Bullshit.”

“Ask Astrid. She activated the collar. Or Beauregard. She put the thing on him.”

Felix had that look of a teenage boy who was trying not to look impressed, hiding it behind a veneer of sarcasm. “Okay. I will.”

They finished their break, stretched, and got back to it. Felix was clever, eager to learn. It brought back memories for Caleb. Good memories, as tainted as they now were. And as much as he was worried for Nico and grieved for what had happened, he was also indescribably relieved they had been able to stop Felix. If he could help Felix reclaim even the smallest amount of good from his stolen childhood, he would take that as a victory.

Astrid looked in on them as Felix practiced the somatic motions around his copper wire, his muscle memory already secure. With a few minor corrections, he would be ready to cast.

“Almost finished?” she asked.

“Almost,” said Caleb. “Felix, that was very good. Just watch that you fully complete the motion right at the end, and hold it until you finish speaking your message. With time, you can find your own method.”

“You learned this method from your special Aeor friend?”

Caleb sighed. “No, these somatic components are developed from watching several casters perform the spell. My colleague provided the basic framework to learn the spell, but his somatic components are more intricate than my own.”

“So he’s your fancy special Aeor friend.”

Astrid chuckled. “It’s not the silliest nickname he’s had. Now, focus. The Martinet is sticking his nose in our business and we need to get you out of here.”

Felix wordlessly practiced the gesture again, meticulously correcting his errors. He ran through the motion a few more times, becoming more confident each time.

“I think you are ready,” said Caleb. “Remember: twenty-five words. Consider them in advance. It may be worth telling Nico he can reply to you.”

Felix nodded and closed his eyes, counting on his fingers under his breath. And then he cast. “Hey, Nico. It’s Felix. I heard what happened. I’m okay. They stopped me. I hope you’re okay. You can reply to this message.” The barest pause. “Love you.” Felix held his breath, listening out for a reply.

Caleb let him have ten seconds, before breaking the news. “Felix. If he has not replied yet--”

“I know,” Felix muttered. He grabbed his spellbook, hugging it to his chest as he deflated, and Caleb’s heart broke. “Just… get me out of here.”

****

Astrid’s teleport brought the three of them back to Blumenthal. The path was muddy from yesterday’s storm. Felix gripped his spellbook tighter, raking his eyes over the buildings around them. The way he held himself, shoulders hunched, inches from bolting, reminded Caleb far too much of himself mere months ago.

“Felix,” he said. “We need to speak to your mother and father, but we will not put you in a situation you do not think you can handle.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.” And wasn’t that just painfully familiar. They had barely made it a few steps before he froze, closing his eyes against the vision of home.

Astrid looked to Caleb, silently begging for him to do something.

“Felix,” said Caleb, completely panicking on the inside, “we will not force you to do anything you don’t want to. Okay? Let’s walk for a bit. Take deep breaths. If we reach your house and you don’t want to go inside, I will stay with you and Astrid will talk to your parents. Is that all right?”

Felix nodded, and he took a step. Then another step. And another. They walked together down familiar but unfamiliar streets. They were in a different part of Blumenthal than they had been yesterday. Caleb blocked out most of it, concentrating on getting Felix through the next few minutes. His own shit did not matter right now.

Felix’s body language remained tense. His head stayed down, barely keeping an eye on where he was going. His fingers flexed around his spellbook. And Caleb was planning. A hundred different options.

Caleb refused to force this boy to face his parents before he was ready. If the time came, and he couldn’t do it, he would need somewhere else to go. Somewhere away from here. If Astrid allowed it, there were a few options. Veth in Nicodranas would take Felix if Caleb asked, but he wasn’t sure if Felix would feel comfortable being around a family like that, especially with a small child. Or Felix could stay at the Lavish Chateau, but Marion was a busy woman who had been through enough on Caleb’s account. There was the Gentleman’s hideout, but Caleb wouldn’t want to leave him alone there. He could take Felix to the Blooming Grove, where the Clays would willingly care for him, but taking a boy who almost killed his parents to a graveyard was possibly not the best option.

There was Reani, wherever she was, but he wasn’t so sure that Felix could handle her on his own, or that her rigid morality had shifted enough to take him in without killing him if she found out even a fraction of the shit he did while under Trent’s power. Taking Felix to Nila and her young family, who Caleb believed had returned to her clan, would bring up many of the similar issues as taking him to Veth. And the Guiatao clan had suffered greatly at the hands of the Iron Shepherds, including many deaths, so Caleb wasn’t sure that would be a good place for him to cope with nearly killing his own parents.

And Caleb was not putting Felix on a pirate ship, so that ruled out Fjord, Jester and Kingsley.

They could always bring Felix back to Rexxentrum and he could either stay on Astrid’s estate (possibly too traumatic) or with Caleb and the lesbians, but Ludinus was poking around and that could get messy. Not to mention the whole “harbouring a Drow fugitive” thing.

Caleb circled back to Veth. If Felix could handle it, he would feel most comfortable taking the boy to her if he wasn’t able to go home. Caleb hadn’t told her what happened yet; he was not looking forward to that conversation. Even if it would help him in the end.

Of course, this all depended on Felix. If he agreed to go home, this would be irrelevant. But Caleb felt better having come up with a plan.

They reached a quiet street. Felix headed to the house at the far end, partially concealed by a granary. Caleb thought, with faint nausea, that even the physical isolation of their parents’ homes could have been a factor for Trent.

Felix made it all the way to the small vegetable garden out the front of the house, but faltered between the carrots. He stared up at the modest house. A single-storey affair, small even for a family of three. The front door was painted cherry red. The boy’s lips parted; no sound came out. His eyes traced the features of the house - the red door, the two small windows, the thatched roof in need of maintenance.

A woman’s face appeared at the window. And the door flew open.

“Felix!” The woman ran out of the house, and Caleb was just barely able to take in her simple dress and heavy coat, blonde hair gathered in a loose bun. But as she got close, Felix stepped back, wide eyes fixed on her face, as she spoke in rapid Zemnian. “No one has heard from you in weeks. Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“I can’t do this.” And he was backing away. “I can’t.” He tore his eyes from her, and ran.

“Go after him,” Astrid told Caleb. He wasted no time chasing after the boy. Caleb had run from a great many things in the past few years, but he was not the fastest man alive. But he was fast enough.

Felix barely made it around the granary before he collapsed into the grass. Gasping for breath.

Caleb knelt beside him. “Felix, listen to me. You’re okay. Slow down, breathe. Let the air fill your lungs. Feel the grass beneath your hands.”

Felix dug his fingers into the dirt, gulping in air. He was listening, at least. Being on the other side of this was not especially familiar to Caleb, but he had coached Essek once or twice. He could do this. They could do this.

Of course, Felix barely knew him, so it wasn’t like Caleb could just hug him. That would probably make things worse. So he would have to use his words.

“Felix, you got this. How does the grass feel?” Caleb gave Felix a moment to process, and then he supplied options, taking a pause between each. “Is it dry? Wet? What colour is it?”

Felix coughed a little, sucking in a shaky breath. “Wet. Green.” His hand slid across the grass. “Short. Muddy.”

“Good.”

Felix leaned away and vomited onto the grass. Then he staggered to his feet, grabbing Caleb’s shoulder for support. They moved a little further from the house, and Felix leaned against the granary, knocking the back of his head against the wood. And he laughed, that kind of unhinged, hysterical laugh that was not funny at all. Caleb knew it well.

And then he was in tears. Caleb reached for his shoulder, carefully, and Felix didn’t shake him off.

“I was going to kill her,” Felix said quietly. “If you hadn’t… I almost murdered my parents. I love them. I love them… and it didn’t matter. I was going to… oh gods....”

“Felix,” Caleb said, and did a very poor job hiding the tremor in his voice. “I am so glad we found you.”

“What the fuck does it matter? I would’ve done it.”

“Felix, as somebody who did… it matters a great deal.”

Felix stared up at him, eyes wide and wild.

“I will not force you to go home if you’re not ready,” Caleb said, pulling his voice back under control. “All I will say is this: I would have given anything to see my mother and father again. I almost did. And I know it hurts to look at your mother, knowing that you were going to end her life because of a lie. But you didn’t. She is still here. So is your father. And you have time to heal, all three of you.”

Felix wiped his face on his sleeve, cleared his throat. “Okay. Danke.”

***

Astrid was seated at a small dining table with Felix’s mother and father. Nobody got up from the table when Caleb brought Felix in, though it took visible restraint from his parents. Felix took after his mother--blonde hair, blue eyes, soft features--but he was closer to his father’s build.

The father tore his eyes from Felix with visible effort, and when his gaze fell on Caleb, he froze. And Caleb recognised him, and his wife. Friedrich Schneider and Louise Fischer--probably Schneider now. They were a few years older than him, but he could recall playing together as children.

“I heard you were back,” said Friedrich. “You were helping Nico out yesterday, ja?”

“Ja, I was there,” Caleb said carefully. “As were Astrid and Wulf.”

Louise pulled out the chair next to her. “Felix, come here.”

Felix, still gripping his spellbook like a lifeline, shuffled over and fell into the seat. Caleb sat next to Astrid on the opposite side of the table to the family.

“I have given some details of Master Ikithon’s arrest,” Astrid told him. “We were just about to discuss options for support. If you would?”

“Ja, of course.” Caleb compartmentalised his old memories and focused on the task ahead of him. “We are organising a support group for Ikithon’s former students. We are still nailing down those details, but we will be sure to pass them on. I have also been appointed as a teacher at Soltryce Academy, and we are hoping to put the students back into school when they feel ready.”

Louise and Friedrich grasped at Felix, who curled in on himself but did not complain.

“We just got him home,” said Louise. “After everything Astrid has told us, why would we let him go back?”

“The students in Felix’s position are at a delicate stage of development,” Astrid said, with little inflection, and Caleb sensed she was compartmentalising as well. “They are quite skilled, but have lost the guidance they had. That is dangerous. Good or bad, Ikithon was…” She sighed, and the mask melted away a little. “He engineered this situation. We were dependent on him. Even those whose families still live. Bren, you have been out of his influence longer. Do you have thoughts?”

“Ja, I do.” Caleb had spent his fair share of time soul-searching in the past few weeks, as well as the past year as a whole. “Ikithon shaped each of his students in a very specific way: patriotic to a fault, willing to do anything to get the job done, and unfalteringly loyal to him. It is a gradual process. By the time you realize it is happening, you have already done terrible things at his command. For most, there was no way out. My situation is unique, because I was able to escape in a rather dramatic fashion, but it has taken years to shake off the influence he had on me. I was alone and homeless for most of that time, and let me tell you: almost every fragment of positive change in me happened in the past year, because I had a support network. I found people who cared about me, and they learned how to help me. It was a group effort. I am now in a position to offer that kind of support to others.”

“Say we let him go back,” said Friedrich. “Will he have to live in that place?”

“Not all the time,” said Astrid. “You are not far from Rexxentrum, so I do not see a problem if he wishes to come home regularly. Bren and I both live off-campus if he needs a break but cannot make it to Blumenthal.”

“You do not need to decide now,” said Caleb. “The seniors do not start for another few weeks.”

“We’ll think about it,” Friedrich said flatly. “What happened to Nico?”

“He did it,” Felix said quietly. “Had a breakdown. Ran the fuck away.”

“We have people searching for him,” said Astrid. “Bren taught Felix a spell to talk to him, if he likes.”

“He prefers Caleb,” Felix muttered.

“Danke, Felix.” Caleb had not expected Felix to speak up on his behalf, not when he had his own shit going on. “Astrid gets a pass and, well, your parents knew me when we were children. I go by Caleb Widogast these days, but I will answer to either name.”

“Why the change?” asked Friedrich, still in that flat tone of distrust.

“I went by many names after I escaped Master Ikithon,” said Caleb. “For safety. I gave that one to a woman who eventually became my best friend. Now, it’s my name. But, for you, I don’t mind.”

Both Friedrich and Louise did not look trusting. At all. A mere muscle twitch from openly glaring at Caleb and Astrid, really.

Louise sighed, and some of the hostility dropped. “Thank you for bringing Felix home.”

“We will check in regularly,” said Astrid.

“Felix can message either of us with the spell I taught him,” said Caleb. “If he so wishes.”

Things were too tense to continue much conversation. Caleb and Astrid said their goodbyes, and left. They did not speak, except for Astrid’s short incantation to teleport them back to Rexxentrum.

They landed on the outskirts of the Shimmer Ward. Astrid immediately combed her fingers through her hair, hands shaking.

“That was…” She groaned softly. “Thank you for coming. I will keep you updated on the search for Nicolaus.” She turned on her heel and marched deeper into the ward, pausing for a split second, before she continued onwards without looking back.

Caleb slowly worked his way back to and through the Tangles until he was home. He couldn’t fault Astrid for being distant right at the end. The last twenty-four hours had been intense for everyone involved.

It was close to dinnertime as he reached the house. He entered his side and shut the door, leaning against it as the strength left his body. He’d done it. Today had been two-thirds of a shitshow, and he had made it through.

Felix was home with his parents, and he had the means to contact Nico, and Caleb himself, if he wanted. That was a win.

Nico, however…

Caleb knew, intellectually, that it had been a freak occurrence. A series of imperfections had tangled together into a knot, and that knot had been Nico’s escape. Almost every wizard in that room had more than one try at countering Nico’s spell, but they had not been unable to unravel it. Nico, empowered by panic and grief, had thrown all he had into a powerful fireball, and had the adrenaline to power through what should have hurt him a great deal.

Caleb hoped he was okay. Physically, at least. Psychologically, Caleb knew he wasn’t.

He sat on the floor, resting his back against the door. And he tried something. Coil of wire in hand. “Hello, Nicolaus. This is Caleb Widogast. You may know me as Bren Ermendrud. I was with you today. I’m sorry we frightened you. Be safe.”

He didn’t expect a response, and he did not receive one. A small part of him feared Nico wasn’t responding because he was dead. It was all too likely. There was no way he hadn’t been injured in the blast. Once the adrenaline wore off, the pain could’ve taken over and left him vulnerable to any number of attackers.

Gods, if after all this, Nico had died on the side of a road…

Caleb was tired. But he forced his fingers to cooperate, and worked through another casting.

“Me again. I want you to know: Trent Ikithon is in prison for what he did to us. You’re welcome in my home, when ready.”

Again, no response.

“Caleb?” A form slid into view at the top of the stairs, blending into the dark, but Caleb knew Essek’s voice anywhere.

“Ja,” he said, with the remaining strength he had. “Felix is home. We have both tried to message Nico, with no response. I…” He didn’t want to speak it into existence, so he shifted the morbid statement on his tongue into something more positive. “I hope he’s alive.”

Essek floated down the stairs and sat beside him, squeezing into the remaining doorspace. “If he's anything like you, I would expect nothing less.”

“Danke.” Caleb dropped his head onto Essek’s shoulder, and let himself rest.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 19

First time reader click here

Summary+TWs: We're talking serious feelings here, okay? Reader, you're literally emotionally illiterate. You also have PTSD, which is finally addressed - kinda. Bruce does his best. And he also knows how to kiss... But y'all know that if you read my ramblings about lucid dreaming/shifting/whatever... Chile-, anyways...

My phone kept buzzing and I ignored it until Bruce declared it was time to take a break and review the results. Whilst the man was typing up the data on a nearby StarkPad, I fought the sudden influx of messages that I received from haters and supporters alike after Tony decided on tweeting a reply that could be interpreted in an alarming variety of ways. It was a smart move, I'll admit, but a fucking bother for me nonetheless.

Disabling my DMs and dealing with a follower increase in the thousands wasn't hard; I didn't consider myself a problematic asshole and didn't need to be afraid of "exposure". The parties I went to - I doubted there was any blackmail material in there and the few nudes I'd sent over the years were always face-less. As a gen Z, I knew my internet safety.

The trolls didn't bother me either. It was more sad than annoying, people shitting on others for clout. Iron Man stans were witty, at least, if jealous. I must admit I've never considered the influx of popularity I would experience should I publicly out myself as a friend of Tony's. Girlfriend? Intern? Science child? Whatever cover story he was going to feed the press worked for me, as long as I still got the hugs, the kisses, the dick and the attention.

"Tony..." Bruce groaned, evidently done with the data processing, had to have opened his social media to see his own skyrocketing popularity.

"Yeah, our Tony is being a Tony again," I chuckled, having reset my social media settings so my phone wouldn't constantly beep, vibrate and bother me. School was going to be fun.

Bruce shook his head, fond, coming over to my side of the lab after removing his own hazmat suit. His eyes shiny with newfound knowledge and hair turned adorably fluffy in the confines of the head covering. He was smiling softly. "Food?"

"Sure."

We chewed our sandwiches in silence for a moment, each of us lost in our thoughts.

"I still can't believe Tony told everyone on Twitter you're his girlfriend, usually he keeps this stuff private or schedules a fancy press conference," Bruce's tone was thoughtful.

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that what it was? Seemed ambiguous to me..." I trailed off, confused.

"He worded it like that on purpose, I mean, you're still in high school," The scientist was confident in his words. "But I know Tony. I'm a hundred percent sure that he meant exactly that. Aren't you?"

Shock flooded me. Suddenly, I understood I completely misread the situation. "Um, no? I thought we were, y'know, just fucking. We never defined our relationship and we're definitely not exclusive." I said, chewing on my lip. "You make a valid argument, I'm a high school student and he's a grown ass man that does grown man stuff. Putting aside the fact that he could have anybody in the world so why would he choose me?" I was rambling, thinking out loud. Discussing my feelings has never my strong forte. "It would be stupid to impose monogamy on such a complex man like Tony. Downright idiotic to expect a genius to confine to social norms just because it suits others." I finished with a wave of my hand. Another bubble of thought that had festered within me for the longest time. I felt relieved, finally voicing it out loud. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, a weight I wasn't previously consciously aware of.

Bruce was watching me intently, with an unreadable expression that held the tiniest bit of awe, admiration perhaps. The silence that followed was unnerving. I fidgeted with my hands, not really knowing where to put them or where to look.

"You know," He took off his glasses, fiddling them in his hands. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. For the longest time, I thought you were going to inadvertently hurt him when you get bored with whatever you've got going on. I respect you, don't misunderstand me, but you are young. Now, I've changed my mind. You've changed my mind," He punctuated his statement with his hand on mine, grasping it. "I think you managed to understand him in a way most people can't. Or don't want to. Understand and accept him in a way that some of us can't even after years of working and living side by side with him." Bruce's gentle fingers skimmed along the top of my palm.

"I don't always understand Tony but I do accept him," I agreed. "Because Tony is a great man."

"I think you're in love with him," Bruce said, absolutely having ignored my previous statement. Just like that, point blank, he pushed to the surface the very feelings I got so good at ignoring. There was no rest for me in this place.

My heart fluttered, picking up the pace. I kept my mouth shut, not trusting it whatsoever. My thoughts became akin to panicked hares, jumping and zigzagging aimlessly in my skull. I didn't see the point in defending myself because the scientist had pointed out the obvious.

Bruce looked at me, softly, warmly. "And don't think we haven't noticed the rise in team morale. The improvement not only in communication, but on the battlefield, too. It's easier to entrust your back to someone with whom you've shared a laugh and a drink the previous night. You're the glue that keeps us together."

Something warm and wet was on my cheeks. I stared at our clasped hands, his words echoing in my head over and over and over. The moment I realized I was crying, I willed myself to stop and failed spectacularly - only more salty fluid streamed down, some of it getting in my nose, on my lips. The sleepless nights were making me unstable.

It took a single sniffle for Bruce to pick me up and wrap up in his kind embrace. I didn't resist, tucking my face into the crook of his neck, holding onto the back of his lab coat, inhaling the smell of his skin and chemicals. It was familiar, calming. Minutes ticked by with me slowly leaking the tension out of my body.

"He loves you, too, maybe he just doesn't realize it yet." Bruce whispered into my hair. "I've never seen Tony so happy, even with Pepper. You are special and you are loved."

There was something unsaid, I felt it. It hung in the ear, it burned the tips of my ears, stood sharp on the tip of my tongue. "I love you too, Bwucie-bear," I whispered into the space between his ear and his jaw. His arms tightened around me.

The man placed several chaste kisses in my hair, running a palm over my back. In moments like these, the crush for him, the very crush that got out of control, blossomed fully into a deep sense of respect and admiration. He made me feel safe. He said all the right words at the right time.

Drowsiness overtook me. As usual, any worries and anxieties I had evaporated, once Banner had his arms around me, shielding me from the world. I didn't forbid myself this time: delicately, my hand slipped through the man's soft messy curls, eliciting a contented sigh.

"You haven't been sleeping well," He more stated than asked.

I had no choice but to nod. "Clint keeps dying in my dreams. Or even worse, he doesn't, he just suffers, endlessly, painfully." I admitted.

Bruce flinched under me, tensing. My face was in between his hands in a second, the scientist sternly looking into my eyes. "Why didn't you say anything? All of us assumed you were okay after what happened." He looked - angry. Not Hulk-out pissed but Bruce-pissed, which equalled a kicked-puppy look seasoned with a great pinch of disappointment.

"I am okay." I lied, shamelessly. "It's getting better. That's why I want to have a party - relax a little, dance, socialize. I don't think Tony would let me go on my own so I figured I can convince him to throw one here." I looked away. It was better for everyone if I dealt with my own problems - they were superheroes, not babysitters.

Bruce frowned. "Why wouldn't Tony let you go?"

"Because of that one time I snorted coke," I rolled my eyes at Bruce's naiveté, leaving the less obvious parts unsaid. Tony knew exactly what I was going to do once I got free reign, he considered it destructive and told me so himself. Admittedly, he had a point but still... I wished I'd been given a choice.

"I'll talk to him," Bruce nodded firmly. "That's not acceptable. He can't forbid you from making mistakes and learning from them."

He was met with my shrug. No excitement came from me regarding this particular turn of conversation. I was drained, limbs like jello, thoughts sluggish. My face was drooping.

"Let's get you to bed," Banner stood up with me wrapped around him. "You need a nap."

"No," I protested. If I went to sleep now, only Satan knew at what ungodly hour I would wake up.

"Yes, Princess," Bruce smirked. I wiggled uncomfortably - when he went all caretaker like, my ovaries wreaked havoc on my body and brain. My thoughts weren't appropriate if Bruce wanted me to see him as a father figure. The signals he was sending were mixed. People around me did that a lot and I wasn't sure how to act so I usually just went with the flow. I decided to do the very same thing in that particular moment.

Curiosity sparked within me, tightly interwoven with the deep longing that settled below my collarbones whenever Tony or one of the others wasn't sitting next to me or talking my ear off. I've almost forgotten how it was to be alone with my thoughts. The maze of my very own self was becoming unfamiliar territory. Alarming.

I allowed Bruce to help me shed my shoes and outer layer of clothing, shivering in the coolness of my room. Despite being a frequent visitor, I still had a 'guest' room in the tower - I mostly stayed at Tony's or Wanda's anyways. During our sleepovers neither me nor the witch minded sharing her enormous bed, to be fair, we could have fit at least two more people in it besides us. Tony took care of his own - all the tower's residents had their apartments furnished with the best stuff.

"Sleep now, Princess," Bruce chastised, tucking a blanket around me, having noticed an earbud in my ear and my smartphone in my hand. I had hoped to kill some time online, damn well knowing sleep wouldn't come easy.

"I don't think I can fall asleep, Bruce," I admitted, looking away. There was just so much going on. My brain wouldn't shut up and if I couldn't drown out the cacophony by being productive, I'd troll the internet, as usual.

Banner sighed, coming to sit next to me, leaning against the headboard. Gently running his fingers through my hair, brushing the outside of his palm against my cheek. "How do you usually deal with this?"

Involuntarily, my eyelashes fluttered. "Tony does most of the work," I admitted coyly. The engineer had a whole arsenal of tricks up his sleeve - sexy and exhausting tricks.

"I see," Bruce muttered, thoughtfully.

I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with a look I haven't seen before. The usual mildly absent, slightly anxious face he wore was replaced by something I could only describe as hurt envy, like a kid looking at their schoolmate who had all the newest, coolest toys. I used to be on the receiving end of that look far too often and I hated it.

I hid my face against his leg, rubbing my cheek on the raspy corduroy fabric of his pants. "Got any good ideas of your own?" I wondered lowly, thinking about what in the world possessed Bruce to wear corduroy trousers on a semi-casual day, in the twenty-first century.

"Only bad ideas," He replied in a matching low tone. His soft fingertips relocated to my nape, goosebumps rising down my back.

"Humour me," I grinned against his leg.

Bruce was quiet for a moment, the sound of his thinking screaming louder than any words could have done. Knowing the scientist so closely, I found out he was full of surprises - bolder than he appeared outwardly and competitive to a boot. He thought he had a lot to prove to himself and by extension, to others. The unknown, the mystery dangling in front of my nose was exhilarating, trepidation addictive. It took me away from the chaos in my mind.

A gentle grasp on my chin had me turning to look upwards, Bruce's face flushed and focused on my own, open and trusting. He needed to see the obvious, that I trusted him to take care of me. He pulled and I followed, sitting up on my elbows, coming up to his shoulder level, our faces inches apart, enveloped in the unique, intense scent of his herbal tea. It was a tart, strong smell and it suited his quiet but passionate character.

Once, twice, I caught my eyes sliding to his plump lips. They looked far too appealing in this position. I usually strategically stayed away from positions so compromising, fearing the very thing that I'd already let happen, however this time the atmosphere was different. We stood on ambiguous grounds, waiting for Bruce to make a decision.

The man wasn't stupid, he saw the way I looked at him. The nightmares and inability to take a break from life put a significant dent in my resolve to keep a distance between us, romantically - I could have settled even for a pity kiss, a pity fuck. Anything to put my brain on pause.

His lips were softer than I had imagined. Skilled, too, he easily steered the kiss into the shallow waters of our combined longing.

With Tony, it was like an avalanche. Tony ran hot like Peterbilt engines, hard and fast, almost angry in his race for satisfaction. Tony was a man that was used to getting whatever he wanted and it became plainly obvious when we fucked.

Bruce was the opposite. He savoured the kiss, losing himself in a way that could almost be described as delicate. Bruce was humming, softly, as we tasted each other, holding the left side of my face with careful fingertips. Almost as if he was afraid to break me. The feel of his skin on mine was soothing in a way that made me sigh and relax even further.

"Wanna make you feel good." His voice had dropped, gone husky, but his breathing held even. He must know all about self-control.

"Yeah," I was ready to agree with whatever the fuck he was offering. My eyelids remained shut.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

PS. Letsby, please don't combust. The underwear is coming off in the next chapter. 😶

[ironmariposa]

(The things I did) Just so I could call you mine

Chapter 3/4

Also found on Ao3

Notes: A huge thank you to @writing-as-tracey for giving me key words to use for Heather & Rays project and for all their encouragement for this story!! Keeps my motivation going. If you haven’t yet you should definitely check out their ff!

“The Senior baseball tournament.”

“Oh.” Heather laughs holding up her hands, “There’s no way you want me on the team.”

“Not a choice, Hill. Everyone has to play.”

Heather shakes her head, “Trust me, Ray, you do not want me.”

His eyes flash and she swallows because damn why does she keep slipping up like that. Making off the wall comments that have double meanings.

“I mean on the team. You don’t want me on the team. I’m horrible at organized sports.”

He leans towards her, “You can’t be that bad. Come on, it’ll be fun. Just. Go out to Andy’s and practice in the batting cages.”

Andy’s is the local putt putt place that is mostly a piece of shit but pretty much the only fun outing that’s close by. Her, Bishop, and Natalie spent most of their middle school years there. Playing putt-putt but for the one time. One time Natalie was crushing on a baseball player and forced the three of them to go to the batting cages. It was an absolute disaster.

“Lets just.” Heather sighs, “get back to work. I only have another hour before I have to pick up my sister.”

Ray drops his chair back to four legs and picks up the book she slides across the table to him. “Just think about it.”

She studies him as his eyes flicker through the book. They’ve had multiple meetings together at the library and sometimes at school. He’s given her rides home, teases with her sister and just recently started calling out to her in the hallways. The first few times she jumped, because in the past it meant he was about to mock her or Bishop.

He’s different and as the due date for their project approaches she finds herself almost sad. Because after they’re done she won’t have a reason to hang out with him. And she finds she actually likes hanging out with Ray Hall.

“Are you serious?” Heather stares at her friend, her best friend, in complete shock. The news she just dropped on them as they sat on the side of main street was shocking. To have known someone for so long and not see such a bombshell coming…. Heather was lost for words.

Bishop just shakes his head, “You know what, I'm not even that surprised.”

Heather looks at him then back at Nat, “Well I am. You’ve always said it’s a stupid game for idiots to play.”

“Nooo.” Nat says with a tilt of her head, “You've always said that. I just agreed.”

Bishop points his drink at Heather, “She’s got you there.”

“I mean…” Heather shakes her head and picks up her drink. Hearing that Natalie plans on playing the Senior game after two Seniors died last year playing it, is just terrifying. She never thought she would have to watch someone she cared about go through it. Although, the closer she grew to Ray, she knew in the back of her mind she would have to watch him. There was no way he wouldn’t play, especially since his brother won just a few years ago.

Nat nudges her with her arm, “You’re not mad, are you?”

“No. Not mad.” Heather meets her friend's dark brown eyes and cringes, “Just …worried.”

Nat laughs, “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah. I’m sure that’s exactly what Jimmy and Abby thought too.” Bishop says with a bit of a bite to his voice. Both girls look at him with wide eyes and he makes a face, “Too dark?”

“Yeah.”

“Just a bit dude.”

They all laugh and if it’s a little strained, well, no one points it out.

Heather rushes into their established room in the library with an apology on her lips. “Sorry, my boss made me stay later because he wanted to get high with his girlfriend.” She slams herself in a chair and begins to unload her bag.

“Sounds like a douche.”

Heather grunts, “He one hundred percent is a douche.” She slams one book then another down on the table before pulling out her notebook and flipping it open, “But he pays me. Most of the time. So I have to put up with him.”

Ray closes the book he was reading and leans forward, “What do you mean he only pays you most of the time?”

Heather shrugs, “Doesn’t matter. So did you figure out which chapters we should focus on because I was thinking …” Heather stops her ramble as Ray's hands fall on top of her notebook, covering it completely.

“Heather, it’s illegal for them not to pay you.”

Heather sighs, “Well considering there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.”

“You could quit.”

She laughs harshly at that, “You sound just like Nat and Bishop.” He makes a face at the comparison, “I can’t quit. I need the money. The portion my mom doesn’t take for living in her house, I’m saving for college.” She looks up at him with a desperation for him to understand because her friends never could. They both come from families that love and support them. Families that can afford to send them to college. Families that lift them up instead of dragging them down so deep, it feels like she will never be able to dig herself out no matter how hard she tries

But if anyone could get it, it would be him, “I have to get out of this town.” She says in a quiet voice and there it is. His eyes say it all, complete understanding.

She feels relieved at having someone understand her so completely. She feels like she can actually breath.

He nods after a moment and pulls his arms back, “I was thinking chapters ten and eleven and then the last few chapters.”

Heather nods as she flips through her notebook to those chapters.

“Hey.” Ray steps up to her locker and she glances quickly at him before focusing back on the contents of her locker. She can still see him out of her peripheral as he leans up against her locker door, grinning, “We’re taking the boat out tomorrow afternoon, want to come?”

Heather nudges him with her arm and grabs her locker door to shut it, “Did you finish your character analysis and also who’s we, because I have no interest hanging out with a drug dealer and a pediphile.” She starts to walk to class and he follows. Moving around her to walk backwards so he can face her. And it works for him because no one wants to be the one he trips over so everyone makes a path for them.

Ray chuckles, “I did finish it.” He waves the paper at her and she takes it, her eyes skimming over his handwriting, “And Adam’s not a pediphile.”

“Did he not date that freshman for a few months?” She asks as she tucks the paper in her notebook.

“Well sure but he was still seventeen at the time.”

Heather shakes her head at him silently. He laughs, his dimple flashing and her eyes once again lingering there. He notices. Of course he does, his eyes say it all.

“It’s not just them. Sarah will be there and probably Ruby Anne.” Ray stops causing her to stop or run into his chest. And she kind of wants that. At school he manages to keep his shirts buttoned but any other time she sees him or spends time with him, he usually has his bare chest on full display. And she’s been getting the urge to touch it more and more.

“Come on. It’ll be fun.” He urges.

“Okay.” She finally agrees. Ray shouts loudly and steps around her to head off to his class. He continues celebrating loudly as he leaves her and she shakes her head in embarrassment. Glancing around she finds no one is paying them much attention besides a curious look or two. Thankfully neither of her friends have class down this hallway.

She actually has that Saturday off but she tells her mom she’s working. She can’t use that excuse on her friends because they’ll expect her to meet them on her break so she tells them she has to watch Lily and work on homework. They don’t question her because it happens often enough. She feels bad for lying to them. They both mean well but they’ve been making little comments here and there about how much time she’s been spending with Ray.

She approaches the dock with trepidation. She can see Adam and Sarah already on the boat. Ray is messing with a fishing pole off to the side. He looks good in low riding swimming trunks and a sleeveless button up. Of course it’s unbuttoned. Adam gives a soft whistle and nods to her when Ray glances at him. Ray turns to her, the smile on his face wide and genuine. He pushes his sunglasses on top of his head and her heart pounds at the look on his face.

“You came.” And he sounds genuinely surprised.

“I said I would.” She smiles back at him and they stand there for a long moment.

Tyler pushes past them, “Let's go bitches.”

Ruby Anne follows behind him and smiles apologetically at Heather. Her eyes find Rays again and he nods his head to the boat.

They’re last on the boat after Ray unties it from the dock and other than the captain's chair there’s nowhere for Heather to sit. Ray fixes that by pulling her onto his leg once he sits to drive the boat. She looks over his shoulder at him.

“Is this really necessary?”

He winks at her, keeping his eyes on the water but for that small glance, “Unless you prefer the floor?”

Heather glances over her shoulder. Sarah smiles at her as she lounges back in her seat, a can of beer already open in her hand. Tyler and Adam are passing a joint back and forth. Ruby Anne is sunbathing in her seat.

They're going pretty fast and as Ray turns the boat around a corner she falls more into his lap. She tries to move back to just perching on his knee but he maneuvers his arms around her waist to steer. After a moment of hesitation, Heather relaxes against his bare chest, her head resting just below his chin. He nudges her slightly with his nose and she glances up at him.

“Are you smelling me?”

He laughs out loud and she smiles at how much it thrills her to make him laugh. He presses his nose against her hair again and takes an exaggerated deep breath.

“Smells like peppermint.”

She doesn’t respond. Just enjoys being in his arms, letting herself relax for once where it concerns Ray. No one here is going to tell her it’s wrong or how horrible he is. Or how stupid she’s being. She can just enjoy the moment.

And she does. It takes them another twenty minutes before they get to where they’re going. Ray tells her it’s his favorite fishing spot. The others jump out and make their way to a floating dock where they continue their activities of sunbathing, smoking and drinking. Ray waves them off when they ask if they’re coming.

They spend the entire day out there on the water, not returning until twilight. Heather knows she’ll be red from playing in the water with Ray, to sunbathing on the dock with Sarah and Ruby Anne. She even had a semi deep conversation with Tyler about how honeybees play an important part in their ecosystem and how without them we wouldn’t have coffee or avocados or even medications. Heather's mind is blown with how much knowledge Tyler seems to have on this one subject but Ruby Anne informs her that when he’s high, Tyler likes to watch nature documentaries. They all laugh so hard at him, he storms off a huff.

Ray walks her to her car. The others already went on their way as she helped him unload the boat.

“Thanks for…” she turns and is left speechless as he his eyes meet hers. It’s dark out, hard to see much but his eyes are filled with want. For her. He takes one step, then another, crowding her smaller body back against the truck. And she thinks this is it. This is when he’s going to kiss her. And she was going to let him.

She whispers his name as her legs fall open, giving him room to press against her. She feels the hardness of him all over. He brings his hands up but instead of touching her like she expects. Like she wants, he brackets her head between them as he presses them against his truck. His head tilts down and she lets out a long breath as he drags his nose up her neck and to her ear. His breath is hot as he whispers in her ear, “You’re so far from cute, Heather Nill. I could absolutely devour you with how fuckin sexy you’ve looked all day. I’ve been hard since the moment you appeared on my dock.” And he proves this by grinding himself in the warm space between her legs. Heather's head falls back against the truck with a groan. She curls her hands with want. She wants to fill them with him. To touch him all over, starting with a handful of his hair and ending with a handful of his ….

Ray's nose is back to dragging over her neck and he nips at her pulse causing her to jump. She reaches for him, her hands spreading over his bare back as she pulls him in. He lifts his head, his lips a breath from hers.

Her phone goes off and it’s obnoxious enough that it pulls them both out of their lust haze. Ray pulls his body away from her as she reaches in her pocket to pull it out. It’s her neighbor and she knows she has to answer. It’s never good when she calls.

Glancing at Ray she flashes her phone at him, “I have to…” he just nods and she steps away from him as she presses the accept button.

As she suspected, Bo and her mom are at it again and Lily needs her. She quickly explains to Ray who accepts it with more understanding than she expects. Her friends aren’t usually so understanding but then again they have perfect families that never have drama. Ray on the other hand…

Ray sends her off with a tuck of hair behind her ear and a soft smile she’s never seen him give another. Her thoughts are on getting to her sister but her body is still aflame with desire as she speeds to the trailer park. And after she gets Lily settled in bed, the house now quiet with Bo gone and her mom passed out, Heather lies in her bed thinking of that moment out by his truck and how she knows without a doubt she would have let Ray take her to his bed if they hadn’t been interrupted. And she wonders if that’s a good thing or not.

Heather is waiting for Bishop to finish switching books in his backpack at his locker when Natalie runs up to them and grabs Heather's arm, squeezing tightly.

“Ow Nat.” Heather attempts to pull her arm from her friend's grip but the taller girl refuses to let go.

“You went on a date with Ray Hall?” Natalie practically shouts.

Heather shushes her as she glances around. Bishop looks up from his backpack, frozen. They stare at one another for a long moment before he says one word through gritted teeth, “Well?”

“I…”

Bishop slams the door to his locker so loudly, if people weren’t looking at them before, they sure were now. Natalie seems to notice this as well and pulls them into a dark empty classroom, closing the door behind them.

“Ruby Anne is going around saying you and Ray hooked up this weekend.”

“We didn’t hook up.”

“That you spent the day with them out on his boat. But that couldn’t be true, right? Because you told us,” Natalie points between her and Bishop, “That you couldn’t hang out because you were watching your sister all day.”

Heather presses the heels of her hands to her eyes and then runs them through her hair, “Okay. I lied.”

“You lied?” Bishop says.

Heather avoids meeting his eyes, instead choosing to look over his shoulder into the dark corner of the classroom, “Look, I just didn’t want you guys to give me shit about hanging out with Ray.”

“We don’t give you shit.” Natalie tries to protest.

“You actually do. Even when it’s just to work on the project, you give me shit. I’m so..” Heather takes a deep breath and lets it out, “I’m so sick of feeling guilty for wanting to spend time with someone.”

“Not just someone.” Bishop says through clenched teeth, “But Ray Hall.”

Heather tilts her head back as she breathes in deeply through her nose. Here it is.

“Ray Fucking Hall.”

“Okay, Bishop. I get it. You hate him.” She runs her hands through her hair again but says the next words without hesitation, “But I don’t.”

Bishop blanches at her words and she looks at Natalie who wrinkles her nose at her.

“Heather, you know what he is. You know.” Bishop says with so much heat. Heather just stares down at her feet as Bishop continues his rant. She knows he’s been building this up ever since she was partnered with Ray. She thinks maybe if she lets him have his say then he’ll just back off. Because between him and Ray and everyone else she feels so confused. “All he is and all he’ll ever be is a Meth Row idiot, heading down the same path as his father and brother. You have to see that. You have to know that after all these years.”

“Okay Bishop, that’s enough.” Natalie finally steps in. His eyes flash to her then back to Heather. Without another word he turns on his heel and storms away.

“He’s an idiot.” Natalie says.

“He is.” She agrees.

Natalie wraps her arm around Heather and guides her back out of the classroom, “But you know it’s because he’s in love with you.”

Heather tilts her head back with a groan, “He is not in love with me, Nat.”

Natalie just gives her a look. The look, “If you say so girl.”

After the confrontation, Heather keeps to herself. She doesn’t see either of her friends the rest of the day. She attempts to smile at Ray in class but he just turns in his seat to talk to Adam. She’s too distracted to think anything of it and slides into her seat silently. It’s the week before Spring Break which means their presentations are all week. Their day to present is on Thursday and so Heather sits through the week watching the other presentations. Bishop isn’t talking to her at all and Nat is being distant. She spends her days after school working and keeping Lily away from their trailer as much as possible. The fallouts between her mom and Bo usually last longer than a day or two and it’s always safer to keep their distance.

But then Thursday comes and Ray is nowhere to be seen. She sits in class as the bell rings and picks at her nails. Mrs. Plaza calls her up to the front, “It looks like your partner isn’t going to show. Are you comfortable doing the presentation on your own?”

“I am. But he’ll show.”

Mrs. Plaza looks at her with sympathy, “I’ll put you and Ray last on the list.” She reaches out a hand and places it on Heathers, a comforting touch, “But, Honey, I wouldn’t count on him showing up.”

Heather smiles, “He’ll be here.” And though she sounds confident, with each minute that ticks by, her confidence falters.

Finally, there’s no time left and it’s their turn to present.

He doesn’t show.