#but certainly don't uplift them either

[gingermintpepper]

“Your hair’s gotten longer.” 

It’s conscious effort that keeps him from tucking the strands behind his ear, from taking the knife at his hip and shearing it all off. He keeps his stance focused, attentive, there’s little else he can do when he’s taken so completely after his mother when it comes to his hair. His father scratches his chin, the clouds of his beard snaking about his finger like mist parting for mountain-peaks. Ares’ chin is still child-smooth. He can feel the tickle of his over-long fringe against his soft jaw. There’s no heart in his chest, but still he feels as though a pulse is lodged in his throat. 

Father sighs, put-upon, disappointed, and Ares feels a slight tremor start in his calves from holding himself so tense. “Well done, Ares. Go clean yourself up and get some rest. Phoebus will want to look you over later.” 

He should be ecstatic to be praised by his father. Over-the-moon with joy. There should be pride emanating from every pore of his body, the blood on his skin should be sweeter than ambrosia. 

Instead, he bows, manages a soft ‘thank you, Father’ around the lump in his throat and immediately flees the room. A mild ‘make sure to trim your hair’ hits the back of his head like a spear through the skull. He almost wishes the great door had slammed on his foot so he would have reason to feel this horrid in his retreat.  

Phoebus Apollo is waiting for him in his infirmary. 

He’s gilded as ever, gold from crown to heel. Perfect like the statues they carve of him in his temples. He has a smile for Ares when he sees him, a crinkle at the edges of his pretty eyes from the weight of his joy. Ares is waiting to see the crack in the marble, to see if that’s the chip that’ll reveal his fangs.

“Brother,” he greets, and his voice is warm - like the arms that embrace him, his voice is so warm, “Welcome back. I’ve heard you’ve done well.”  

There’s a tremble in Ares’ fingers he hadn’t noticed before. Strain from carrying his sword for so many days, a throb from wounds he hadn’t noticed he’d accrued. “Heard? There’s already gossip?” 

Phoebus blinks, disarming, demure, coquettish, “But of course,” and Phoebus’ voice is honey to Ares’ gravel, the juxtaposition is grating on his skin, “It’s Olympus. The gossip began long before you set your course.” Those warm hands lead him further into the room, bodily sits him on the chaise, pulls his helmet from his head. It’s all one, unbroken motion, “It’s summer alas, so I could not watch your war myself, but I hear it was quite the decisive victory.” 

A thousand thoughts run on horseback through his mind then. 

Did Father overhear some terrible slander that pre-emptively disappointed him? Was Ares’ victory merely a rumour, a bet his father hadn’t bothered to take? Was the gossip more enticing than the stark truth? That Ares wasn’t some child toddling about in the shadow of his sister, that his sword and spear weren’t merely for show - he’d think such a thing would warrant celebration. Not -

“Oh my,” Phoebus is in front of him, pleasant warmth more sticky heat with how close he’s pressed himself into Ares’ space. From this angle, Ares can see the multi-coloured flecks of his eyes, like shards of golden glass suspended in ichor. From this angle, with his hand so gently holding his hair, were Ares to blink too hard, he’d swear Phoebus looked just like his mother. “Your hair’s grown long again.” 

He pushes Phoebus off with such force that he bangs into the wall. It’s Phoebus, it won’t make even the impression of a scratch on him, but Ares wishes it would. Wishes he’d hit his shoulder or crack his neck or hit his head just hard enough for all that perfect, gilded gold to bleed. 

“I’m only here for you to heal me,” the tremble in his hand extends to his shoulder now. He flexes and unflexes his palm. Gods what he would give to just have a sword - “Don’t waste time with the pleasant-work.” 

Phoebus huffs, adjusts the fit of his himation, “...Only because we’re meant to be celebrating your victory.” He crosses the room in two great strides, his hair a swirling tempest behind him as he gathers his poultices and wraps. “The only reason I’ll not throw you from the window is because we are meant to be celebrating your victory.”  

There’s not enough acid in his tone for this to truly be a fight. Ares’ jaw clenches, he bites out a terse, “How benevolent.” 

“Aren’t I?” He’s got nectar and his sutures in hand, that focused look falling upon his face when he switches from overbearing busybody to Paeon of the Gods. “Now strip unfaltering Ares, let us see the measure of damage done to your indomitable flesh.” 

(Somewhere between the fifth set of stitches and the gentle frown that crosses Phoebus’ face when he notices the persistent tremble in his fingers, Ares pins his eyes to the far wall and asks, “What does it mean when Father says ‘well done’?” 

Any other sibling would mock before they gave a true response. Any other sibling would laugh and dismiss it, would say that praise is praise and any lingering ill feeling is just the worst of the war still fogging his mind. Phoebus does not answer immediately. He doesn’t make a single sound. The question settles like fetid water between them, unignorable, the scent right there on the tip of the tongue yet firmly unacknowledged. Ares closes his eyes and tries again to settle his squirming so he does not interfere with Phoebus’ work.  The metallic snip of scissors cutting thread breaks the silence. Phoebus bids him to sit up and slides his warm palms up his back until his fingers tangle gently in the ends of his hair. He twists the dark red strands until he’s gathered it all into a neat handful, holding it loosely as he switches his scissors for his shearing blade. “You should know it was not praise,” Phoebus says softly. The first of Ares cut hairs fall like viscera from his head. Phoebus treats each cutting with the sacredness of a blood-sacrifice. If he focused on the moment of tension right before the blade cuts though, Ares thinks he can imagine the agony of his sister’s sacred birth. “It is acknowledgement. Father thinks you’ve done well so he says ‘well done’.”

Gently, Phoebus releases him. Ruffles his head so all the extra hairs fall like red rain to the floor. Ares runs his fingers through the ends now curling against his ear. “Has he ever told you ‘well done’?” 

A laugh, warm and gilded, “No, and it would not make you feel better if he had.” 

Ares swallows down a thousand different questions. Phoebus wouldn’t answer them, he’s infuriating like that. Instead, he clenches his teeth, the phantom of Father’s dizzying tangle of grey cloud-hairs persistent in the corner of his eyes. “Cut it shorter.”

Phoebus doesn’t protest. He never seems to say a word when it really matters.)

[sanguineterrain]

about spilled milk - e.m.

okay now you folks said you weren't tired of the eddie snapshots so here i am with another one because it's all i can write these days...

Summary: Eddie's got you every time. Even when you've spilled milk.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x gn!reader

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings/tags: depressive episode, reader has an emotional breakdown, brief suicidal thoughts. there is an uplifting ending; not a 'they got over it!" because that's not how depression works, but i made a point not to end on a sad note. if you think these topics might upset you, please take care of yourself first.

by the way, it does get better.

divider by firefly-graphics

Strawberry milk is your favorite. 

Chocolate is a close second. Pure, whole milk is likely the Devil's invention. Soy milk is decent when you have the sudden, crazed urge to go healthy and reinvent your personality. 

But strawberry milk has always been there for you. 

There's a carton of it in your fridge right now. You hope it's still good. If you remember correctly (not that your memory is all that reliable these days), you'd bought it Monday. It's now Sunday. Milk doesn't expire that fast, does it? Certainly not strawberry milk, with all of Nesquik's special preservatives. 

You feel preserved too. It must be a strange process, forcing a thing to be something it's not; making it last when it doesn't want to. 

There are too many dishes in the sink. You'd promised you'd get to them today, but that had been three days ago. They add to the kitchen’s essence, you think. Or maybe that's just the preservatives talking. 

You use a paper cup so you can throw it out after. You need to throw out the garbage too, because it's rotting, and you can't handle another rotting thing in this house. 

The paper cup has little orange flowers on it. You stare at them for a long time while you work up the courage to open the fridge. 

You feel naked without your blanket. It's covered you for many days now. You're not sure what to do without it. 

Part of you wants to abandon the cup. But you're so thirsty. And you're hungry but you haven't got the energy to take a pan out of the cupboard and add another dish and throw something else away, all to rot, rot, rot. 

You take the milk from the fridge. It expires next month. The cold makes your fingers ache. It's the first tangible feeling you've had all day. 

Down the hall, the lock turns. You can't remember inviting anyone over, but, as you know, your memory isn't trustworthy these days. You think you've felt this yawning agony in your stomach for years, but you've managed to graduate high school and you've tricked a boy into falling in love with you. Years must be a stretch, right? 

You pour the milk. It's a pretty, happy pink. You wonder if it'll turn your insides a pretty, happy pink too. 

"Sweet thing, are you here?" 

The trick is done. This good boy, this person in your life you don't deserve, he's going to learn your secret. He's going to find you and your preservatives expired all over the kitchen floor. 

"Honey? Please respond to me if you're here." 

You take the milk. Somewhere between staring sightlessly at your ceiling tiles and thinking about doing the dishes, you've forgotten how to hold a cup. 

It falls. Pink milk sprays the kitchen tile. 

The yawning agony does something funny. It decides to climb up your throat. It's tired of being inside you. You can't blame it. You wouldn't want to be inside yourself either. 

Eddie finds you hunched over the counter, crying like you're grieving. And you are. You mourn the milk and you mourn the flesh that used to fill the hole in your chest. 

"Baby? Hey, hey, what's happening? What's wrong?"

Everything is wrong. You're the wrongest of all. 

Eddie leads you away from the mess. Your legs don't work right and you stagger, knees giving out. Eddie holds you and you don't like being held, but you think you might've never gotten up if Eddie wasn't here. 

"Oh, honey. Baby, it's alright. It's okay, it's okay."

This is scary. You are scary. People don't like to be afraid. Eddie will snap at you, get angry that you've spilled milk and that the agony couldn't come out until after he left.  

You wait for the hushing. The urgent pleads to calm down. You have never calmed down in your life. You don't know how. 

"It hurts," you cry and grip Eddie's shirt so hard your fingers ache. 

"What hurts? What hurts, honey? C'mere, lemme see."

"I hurt," you say. "I don't want to be here."

"Oh." Eddie tucks your face into his neck and rubs your back. Up and down, up and down. "Oh, oh, it's okay. I got you. I want you to be here. It won't always feel like this."

He cradles you through your agony. Eddie doesn't shout or shush. He doesn't tell you to mind the neighbors or your parents in the next room who'll think something is seriously fucking wrong with you. 

You cry and scream and probably squeeze Eddie too hard. And he lets you, even though the trick is over and he doesn't have to love you anymore, if he doesn't want to. 

"I'm sorry," you wail. 

"No, don't apologize. Nothing to apologize for."

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this."

You don't want to rot. You've tried your whole life to avoid this feeling. To be happy, because that's what people want. They want you to be happy so they can burden you. It's hard to burden somebody who rots. 

Eddie holds you until you stop your mourning on your own. Then he picks you up from the floor and helps you to the couch. 

"D'you want the milk?" he asks, gentle even though you're monstrous. 

You nod. 

Eddie's hand lingers on your cheek. Then he goes and cleans up your milk. And he pours more into a real glass, one that will need to be washed. Then he ties up the garbage and brings it outside. 

You drink your milk and wait for him to not come back. 

But Eddie does. He washes his hands in the kitchen sink and then he sits down next to you. 

You drink half the glass. Eddie takes it from you and puts it on the table.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," you say. 

"You didn't scare me."

"I did."

I don't want to be here, you'd said before, and they'd screamed at you for it. 

"No," Eddie says, and slips your fingers together. "You didn't. I'm not afraid of your feelings. I'm worried. And I care about you. And I love you. But I'm not afraid."

"It's too much." I'm too much.

"No, it's not." No, you're not.

You look at him. Your eyes feel hot again. 

"If you want to leave—"

"I don't. And I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it." 

Your lip wobbles, but not because of the agony. 

"You want me to hold you?" Eddie asks. 

You crawl into his arms and he sorts through your mess. He's real and alive and so are you and God, you don't want to fight this good thing anymore. 

"Tell me again you'll stay," you plead. 

"I'll stay," Eddie says. 

You curl your hand into a fist and rest it over his heart. 

"I spilled so much milk."

Eddie wipes a tear from your cheek. 

"That's okay. We can always get more."

[wormfic-wormfic]

"Like a coffee stain on a shirt..."

"Like pomegranate juice..."

"Like a... Like a bloodstain..."

"... It's just... not coming out."

「Tommy deals with some Black Mesa trauma. Gordon comforts her.」

(She/Her pronouns for Tommy, she's transfem. Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, CW for mentions of blood, trauma, delusions?* & phantom pain, mentions of slight self-harm) (*I apologize if that's not the correct technical term idk how to really describe it)

"Hey, it's okay, buddy."

He rubs her back, feeling her shaking body under his palms. He doesn't know what else to do than to just physically reassure her. Let her get it all out. He understands the feeling.

"M... my hands." She mutters, staring down. Her hands are red and a bit damp from the ruthless scrubbing under the sink she had been doing previously, which was only making that phantom feeling of old blood still staining her palms even worse.

"Let's dry them off, alright? I'll grab a towel." He removed his arm and got up, moving quickly over to the kitchen and retrieving a handtowel. Something softer would've probably been better, but this was pretty much all he had time to find. He made his way back to the sofa, handing the towel to Tommy and letting her wrap her hands up in it, rubbing the fabric into her skin.

Gordon resumed rubbing Tommy's back as she focused on the towel around her hands.

"Is that better?" He loosened his embrace around her, giving her room to breathe and to collect herself.

Tommy nodded, pausing in drying her hands and taking a deep, shaky breath. She stared at nothing for a few moments. Slowly unwrapping her hands, she examined them, as if to check if they were finally clean after all her futile attempts. Her mouth was pursed into a thin, frustrated line and her expression was cold.

"I..." she curled and uncurled her fingers, digging her nails into her palms a few times. The skin was still irritated and red. There was still a faint smell of handsoap. "I don't think... I don't think the blood's ever coming out, Gordon."

He nodded, staying silent while she paused for a breath, giving her a moment to collect her words.

"It's like... like a coffee stain on- on a white shirt. Like... pomegranate juice ... or- or like- like..." she continued staring at her hands, but it looked like she was staring past them, seeing something very far away. "Like a bloodst..ain? Like- like blood... blood..." she kept mutting the word under her breath, rocking so slightly back and forth. "I- I just..." she sighed deeply, giving up on the wordplay. "I don't think it's ever coming out."

Gordon didn't know what else to say. He certainly couldn't come up with at least a pleasant simile for this- or even if he should in this situation. He wasn't sure if Tommy was really in the mood. He wasn't even much for uplifting comments either, all he could do was sit with his friend until she calmed down. He wasn't even sure if he was really helping, but he focused on Tommy. Tommy's going to be okay.

Tommy's body shivered suddenly, and a small sob escaped her. Her rocking stopped, she relaxed her shoulders and hands, falling back against Gordon. She rubbed her wet eyes, heavy from exhaustion. Gordon wrapped his arm around her, his good arm, and held out his prosthetic for Tommy to hold- and realized too late that it might be uncomfortable. But surprisingly, Tommy took it, wrapping her fingers between the metal digits and feeling the smooth, cold steel under her rough palm.

They stayed there for a while. Tommy might have dozed off quietly sometime after crying, but at least she was asleep now, and at least Gordon knew she was safe. Gordon would also fall asleep there eventually, truthfully a little uncomfortably, but continuing to hold Tommy. They'll feel better in the morning.

Yeah, maybe they're all going to be okay.

Maybe they'll do laundry together to get the rest of the stains out. Just to be sure.

★ ★ ★

(My hlvrai sideblog is @xxtommycoolattasboobs420xx if you'd like to send me asks about this, or see more of my hlvrai thoughts & fanart! ^-^)

[itooaminthisepisode]

Hi, me again (sorry if this is annoying), but I was wondering if you had any advice on writing fanfics. Cuz i just started, and im having a hard time properly expressing the characters' head space. Or writing dialogues that i feel like the characters would actually say. Again, feel free to ignore this if it's annoying.

not annoying at all don't worry abt it!! glad to help out an aspiring writer!!

and honestly it might sound cliche but my best advice is to read!! see what your favourite fic authors are doing and take note of what you really like about their fics. is it the way they describe emotions? is it their sense of humour? i find that reading a fic with this in mind helps me understand what i want to see in my own fics!!

also, it might sound a little odd but find out what tense you best like to write in. i always used to write in past tense because it's what i was taught, but when i started writing for the house fandom i switched to present tense and it feels SO much easier for me - it feels like i'm actually there, so i can better describe the scene. it might not be the same for you, but i would recommend trying to write a few snippets in different tenses to see what works best!

another thing i would recommend is reading meta posts about your fandoms, specifically character analysis. that certainly helped me when i was stuck with characterisation! alternatively, you could watch an episode or two (or read it or whatever other media your fandoms are) with the express goal of noting down their motivations for doing things. getting to the fundamentals of why a character reacted a certain way, or what made them say a certain thing, is immensely useful.

and one of the best pieces of advice i can give: write what YOU love. don't write something because you think it'll be popular, or because other people like it - write for yourself and yourself alone!! i cannot stress enough how much this mindset helped me. a few years ago i used to get so burned out whenever i tried to write, because i was trying to appeal to the masses with my ideas. all that ended up happening was me getting stressed as hell and never publishing any of it. but now that i'm writing things that i'm interested in and that i enjoy, the process is much easier because i'm genuinely having fun :D

also: don't worry if you think it's 'bad.' it doesn't have to be perfect - it's fanfiction! you're putting it out on the internet for free, and that's incredible in its own right!! plus, i guarantee you that someone out there is going to love it no matter what. try not to compare yourself to other authors either, even if you have an idea similar to someone else - i know it's easier said than done, but comparison is the mind killer. this comic genuinely helped me so much with this:

people will be delighted to see your work!! and don't be afraid to write things that are weird or freaky or a bit out of the box. there's an audience for everything - write for yourself first and foremost, but oftentimes you'll be able to find other people who love the same tropes and ideas and headcanons that you do, and it's great to find a little community where everyone can uplift and support each other :)

hope this wasn't too rambly and i hope it helps!! good luck in your writing endeavours!! <3

[mithrifer]

Okay this is that big HB S2 E7 post I promised yesterday!

Well, I'm saying big but like idk how long it'll end up being, I just plan on dumping everything inside my brain here. (should I have used another pic? dunno lol). Please excuse me if this is hard to read/is incoherent, I'm just rambling all of my thoughts out. I hope it makes sense at the end.

Where to start, where to start... I suppose I can start with Fizzy, he's kind of the connection point for Asmodeus, Mammon and all of their extra messy relationships. Which I want to dig right into!

So, Fizzarolli huh?

Now, I think Fizzarolli is downright adorable; which was only accentuated due to me watching episode 6 and 7 together, I had just found out not one but two episodes came out yesterday. I think I got some sort of fluff overdose because I told my friends something totally deranged after I was done, from which a surprisingly insightful conversation started, and I just had to share what I came up with there.

In this episode especially, though also a little in episode 6, Fizzy is just all over the place. And I mean that in the personal way. He's like a rollercoaster of emotions, diving into anxiety and doubt them surging into confidence and joy. Just a mess, really. I love him for that.

But well, from the reception I've seen of this episode, and this is purely anecdotal I am not some Helluva fandom expert, it seems like people think all of his stuff is just... resolved? Like the biggest danger people talk about is the future revenge Mammon is going to inflict upon our cute yaoi couple, or whatever!

I sure hope not! Because the way I see it, nothing about Fizzarolli's situation can be defined as "over".

So, Mammon is Fizzy's idol. He has been since the imp was five, he took him in when Fizz was at his most vulnerable, he built him into a giant sensation, he's the reason he knows Asmodeus at all, and Fizz still greatly cared about his thoughts and wanted to be "perfect" for him; the imp being keenly aware of all of this... All until Ozzy and he had a little prance around the dress room, and then Fizz made a really cool show all about how much his boss sucked and how he quit, then they all lived happily ever after.

Let's acknowledge the elephant in the room. Or rather the rooster.

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus' relationship is kind of sus when you think about it, isn't it?

I think this has been a thing ever since Ozzy was first introduced, but it was made especially clear to me during these last two episodes. So, what do you think of when you see the two interact? That they love each other very much?

Well, yeah! They do.

Okay then Mith, why did you take your time to point this out? Where's the sinister reveal? Does he beat our clown boy behind doors, or something?

No. But I don't think their relationship is healthy, either. I'd go so far as to say it's abusive.

The way Asmodeus and Fizzarolli deal with each other is certainly weird! More specifically, the way Asmodeus tries to handle his relationship. I doubt any of you would disagree with me if I said Asmodeus was controlling, but it goes beyond that. He is manipulative and untrusting as well.

First, let's explore the dynamics of their relationship. Asmodeus is the king of lust, one of the strongest and most influential demons in hell. He's caring, concerned and uplifting towards Fizzarolli, his boyfriend. Him, on the other hand, is a performer imp clown. A pretty famous one. Fizz is anxious and a perfectionist, but he's also upbeat, creative and also caring.

Fizzarolli, if episode 6 and 7 didn't make it evidently clear, is very dependent on others around him. Not only that, but those whom he is dependent on hold a sway over him. Whether its Asmodeus or Mammon, their words are arrows shot directly at his heart.

So it's certainly concerning when Asmodeus expresses how he doesn't want Fizz going out alone, finds himself "justified" in his beliefs twice, and also really just can't stand that other guy his poor boyfriend worries so much about!

What am I saying here, exactly? Why is Asmodeus trying to curb Fizzy's agency? Why doesn't Asmodeus trust him to make his own decisions? And why did he overstep his boundaries by going to that show?

Isn't it clear? Asmodeus loves him. He just wants the best for Fizzarolli. And that is precisely why he's abusing him. See, if Fizzarolli wasn't oh so fragile maybe he could go out on his own without being bothered, or if he could make coherent decisions that didn't involve giving himself panic attacks to please some fat asshole he wouldn't intervene behind his back, or if he could just let Asmodeus handle things everything would be just fine... Because Asmodeus can. He can and would do everything for him, and Fizz can depend on him.

I don't think he's even aware he's harming Fizz by not trusting him. I don't think someone who hated love until a few months ago, understands how to love. He only knows how he feels, and when he's with Fizz, with that smile on his face, he's happy.

I came upon this realization about their relationship right after the last scene. To get into that though...

Mammon

Asmodeus can't be that bad! I mean, just look at this guy? He doesn't even care for Fizz one bit! At least Ozzy loves him, Mammy was just using him!

You're sort of right! Asmodeus is so much better than Mammon. And Mammon is using him, which sucks! That's the part where you're right.

Mammon, does, however; very obviously care about Fizzarolli.

It shouldn't come off as that much of a surprise, I think. He spent years with him. He constantly carries two robot copies of him around with him. He is actually concerned for a moment when Fizzarolli is stressing out, even though he's mean and demanding. He loves his show, even if it's shitting on Mammon; and the list goes on.

But I don't think any character within the series is aware of that, including Mammon himself. The closest thing I can think of is Fizzarolli deluding(?) himself into thinking his idol does.

Fizz has the motivation to believe Mammon would care about him, after all. He practically saved his life, he's his idol, and he just wants him to be perfect.

But why wouldn't Mammon just be upfront about that?

Funny thing about owning things is that you don't really notice their values until you lose them. Still, you try and keep what you have. Mammon throws pageants every year, knowing full well Fizzy is going to win, even with competition. It does make a shit ton of money, sure, but there are probably better, easier, cheaper ways to promote his favorite. Why bother?

Fizz happens to come back every time. Which is great for profit.

Why did he get so mad when Fizz told him he quit? It certainly wasn't due to the crass words used. He loved that show, and begrudgingly watched even after realizing it was about him. So why? It's not like he lost out on anything. Fizz is just a clown imp. He's completely replacable...

Mammon is really greedy. He doesn't want to let go of Fizzarolli. Fizz is his. He spent way too much time and money on Fizz. He's had way too much fun with Fizz. And in the end, he's irreplacable, isn't he? Not out of any pragmatic or practical reasons, but because Mammon wants him. (read into this any way you want).

But... why does how Mammon feels about Fizz even matter? He's just reaping what he has sown. He deserves being abandoned.

You're completely right. Here is the thing though.

It isn't what Fizzarolli wants

Ummm Mithmints were you deaf or somethang? The fuck you song?

I won't beat around the bush this time, because I've already mentioned this. Asmodeus spends the entire episode trying to supplant the relationship between Fizzarolli and Mammon. He has every right to hold disdain for their incredibly toxic situation, but he goes behind his boyfriends back for this and even contacts his bestie for sabotage. So when Fizzarolli goes onto the stage ready to scream fuck you I quit (as he should) at the asshole who made him rise to fame, the asshole who was his idol from five, the asshole whom he wanted to be perfect for just minutes ago; right after an incredibly vulnerable moment where his sweet hunky boyfriend told him how he was just perfect the way he is and didn't need anything, after which they had a cute little dance.

For some reason, I don't think Fizzarolli is going to be very proud of his incredibly rash decision once the adrenaline goes down and he feels hesitation and guilt towards a deed done. If Fizzy had a rational moment to think about cutting things off with Mammon, I don't think he would pick the method he did, even with his love for performance. Because years of obsession and care don't go away with a two minute song. Don't worry though, Asmodeus will make sure he's more than happy with the path he picked.

...So?

Uh... What "so?"? Are you asking me if I was going anywhere with this? Well, definitely not anywhere specific! I kind of just wanted to examine their situations!

Okay, so, here are my direct thoughts based on what we established.

Fizzarolli loves both Asmodeus and Mammon (feel free to pick how for the latter) but he is very anxious and dependant. He makes a completely justified yet rash decision to cut Mammon off, something he will personally regret. Both of these people hurt Fizzy, but the former is a lot nicer about it.

Asmodeus loves Fizzy, and I don't think he was exaggarating when he said he was the best thing that happened to him during that scene. As a result, he cares deeply about him, and can't bear to see him get hurt. I think Asmodeus thinks that as long as Fizzy is safe and happy, everything is just fine. So he takes the initiative to keep Fizzy from harm, cut him off from assholes from his past, and even go behind his back to do these things. He doesn't trust Fizzarolli to lead his own life, but I don't think he realizes he even should. As long as he's around, Fizz can always stay with him and depend on him. As a cardinal sin, it's not like he's going anywhere. And with that other guy out of the way, Fizz doesn't have anywhere else to go to, even if he for whatever reason wanted to. (I do not think Blitzo could support Fizzarolli in such a way, don't get me wrong, he would definitely try, but I can't imagine it ending well. Their lives just contrast a little too much.)

Mammon just lost out on his favorite clown, and he's very upset about it. I don't think he can parse out why he's so bothered, exactly! It's just Fizzarolli. He just cut him off and quit. It's not like the king of greed needs a clown imp for anything. But I think he's going to feel that vacancy in his life. Like something has been removed and he just can't fill it back up. I can't imagine him being accustomed to loss with all of his avarice. I think he'll find he hates it more than anyone else could.

See Asmodeus and Mammon are like perfect opposites to each other. Asmodeus gives, and Mammon takes. Lust is two sided, while Greed just has one. They're both manipulative, but Asmodeus' nature makes him not even realize it, while Mammon revels in it. I think that's really fun.

So time to get into epic headcanon/scenario making time!

You know how Asmodeus used to think love sucked? Well, what if Mammon and Asmodeus were exes? See, Mammodeus (especially before and without Fizz) would be a complete disaster. The previous opposition would just completely drain Asmodeus as a person, while Mammon would grow spoiled and unsatisfied. I think it would be pretty traumatizing. But I can't really stop thinking about a post-Fizz version of it, maybe set sometime after canon in a universe where Fizz elects to dump Ozzy after noticing his agency being taken away. instead of reconciling with him. I think it would start out as hatesex disaster, but it would quickly evolve into something more substantial. I think Asmodeus would be able to build something great there, having learned how to be a better lover from Fizz.

To be honest any of the pairings or a throupling has massive potential with these three characters. I'm also a big Flitz(?) fan so it was good to see all the scenes between them too. But maybe that's a post for another day.

Feel free to tell me in the comments or reblogs how hard my takes suck and how fizzaozzy or fizzmodeus is 100% healthy. If you can convince me you get a gold star and a big kiss on the cheek!

[simlit]

ALL OF THEM FOR EIF YA BITCH

first of all, how rude.

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

His resilience. Eifra is constantly seen as an easy target, and physically, he's not particularly strong, but he's endured a lot and has the ability to bounce back from just about anything.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

His kindness. It's the one thing he's most taken advantage for. He's aware of it, and people constantly warn him, but I don't think even he would choose to be different.

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

All of the above lmao. Depends on the threat. He does naturally frighten easily, but he's also a very seasoned hunter. Even if he's afraid, he has the ability to temper his nerves to withstand a fight, but if he knows it's a fight he'll lose, he'll happily flee.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Eif would never endanger others, but he would put himself through a world of pain if he thought it would help someone he loves. Again, all depends on the context.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Not... easily. He would have to be put in a very precarious position, to know it was his only option, or if someone's life depended on it. But he's also not so much of a goodie two shoes that his moral compass is swung so far to one side.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Ah, this is a fun question. I think I mentioned before I actually intended for Eifra's PoV to only exist as an introduction to Zeh's. But instead he became pretty much the defacto protagonist and narrator for the sequel. I didn't expect to love Eifra as much as I did, and I got attached to him, both as a writer, but also through Zehel. In the same way that I fell in love with Yeryn's romance, Zehel and Eifra's relationship *is* the main dynamic of Arcaen'vel. Eifra is Zehel's crux. He's his driving force and he pushes both the plot and Zehel's character development forward. I went in thinking Zehel would be the main character in what I thought was his own story, but Eifra really had another plan (though I'm sure if I explained it that way to him, he'd disagree and hold Zeh's pedestal that much higher lmao). The two share the spotlight in different ways. But if you asked me like three years ago if I thought the successor to Yeryn's line would be some random hybrid kiddo I'd have slapped your face.

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

NO lmfao. Eifra would never just commit murder. But he certainly wouldn't have the braincells to get out of it if he did.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Yes! Zehel's theme for Eifra is "A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay, and I can literally not listen to this song without thinking of him. "Cuz you get lighter the more it gets dark, I'm gonna give you my heart."

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Tbh, I think Eif would work in any AU, but I'll have to choose the most boring and say I'd love to see him in a modern storyline with Zeh. Just because Eifra adapts so well to our timeline.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Bow and arrow. He can hunt well regardless, but his arrows are also the only way he can channel dragonfire. It's the only defense he has, not having been born with arcane magic.

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

Yes, and no. I think he sometimes gives too much of himself away, but I wouldn't say he's actively tearing himself down. But he'd be willing to let people walk all over him if it'd make them happy and that's not a particularly healthy way to live, either.

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Probably LOL. I mean he's a much MUCH better person than me, but his self-deprecating humor is so relatable. He's a really uplifting person, which is actually the type of person I most enjoy being around, but he does lack the petty shittalk side I require my friendships to have so that I may thrive lmao.

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

I don't think he much cares how other perceive him, but I think he'd like his friends to see him as reliable. Someone that can be depended on, even when things get difficult.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

We all know I don't do real human face claims, but I do have an artwork I pinned ages ago that encapsulates his vibes down to his stature and dress style, the only thing off about it is the hair, otherwise really spot on: here.

What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

Surprisingly high. Eifra has been through... shit. And he's conditioned himself for things most people have never had to. He's been forced to survive most of his life, and I think that gives someone a lot of internal strength. He also has an incredibly good hold of his mental. In a situation where he knew he'd have to endure something to save someone, he wouldn't even miss a beat.

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

He's very personable, but honestly he understands people wanting space. He gets attached to Zehel so easily because he feels like he owes him his life (he kind of does lmao), so it's a bit of specific situation. Normally, Eifra is the type to only approach if asked, but he'd always be able to reply. He's incredibly charismatic.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

I think Eifra has only been truly angry a handful of times in his life. Only once severe enough to have some physical repercussion. Usually he lets things slide off him, and doesn't get caught up on negative feelings.

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Unsurprisingly not at all lmao.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Neither, but I suppose in the context of their world, he's sort of "broken". He's half elf, half dragon, but he was born magicless, and his wings never developed properly. He's also not able to shift into dragonform, which is usually something that gets bred out over many generations. As he's a "first generation" mix, this is exceedingly odd. He's the only known halflyn to have one dragon parent and not be able to shapeshift.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Lawful/Neutral Good

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Desire. Eifra has an incredibly difficult time asking for anything, even if he needs those things to actually survive. He feels embarrassed and burdensome to ask favors of others, and hates to be indebted to them. He constantly sees himself as a weight holding back his friends, and would rather starve than to ask for money for food or anything similar.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

His tenacity. Eifra is such a hard person to keep down, and even though I find these people really annoying irl, I think in stories, juxtaposed characters like Zeh, they become so much more likeable, and important. I think Eifra has a lot of qualities I gravitate to, but being in Zehel's head for almost four-hundred pages, my love and violent need to throw my life on line to protect Eif at all costs is so deeply engrained in me LOL. Zehel really following in Daddy's footsteps by being the world's second biggest simp, only in his case it exists within a platonic friendship, and honestly, I think it's the most fitting storyline I could have written for him.

[jovenshires]

i personally feel like if you're writing rpf you've gotta be prepared that the people you're writing about do have internet access and aren't clueless y'know? like. i understand not wanting them to see it and for their sake id hope they wouldn't either but no one is entitled to write about a real person and then demand that real person can't access something that is literally About Them. like. just bc they're "famous" doesn't make them public domain yknow.

now i do find those youtubers read fanfic videos kinda cringe personally too bc i mean they always have to choose bad or funny ones otherwise itd be 10h long and awkward. but yeah im also like. those people chose to write and upload those somewhere on a public forum that the people they're writing about Do have access to. i feel like that just comes with the territory in rpf. they aren't fictional and they can in fact read those. if you don't want them to it should be shared somewhere very personal imo.

but yeah obviously since the majority of the fics that do get picked for those vids are probably written by teenagers i do feel kinda bad for them for that but i feel like thats a hard lesson in that those people are in fact real and can see it. i never rly enjoy the content where ppl read fanfics about themselves tho for this reason. but if this is going to be submitted ones i think that might be funny and definitely a better way to go about this on their part. i still dread it tho and will probably cringe out of my skin (also i wonder who that video will include...)

i do agree with you. i put a warning before all my fics in the hopes that they won't read it, but as my dear friend mer always says, i'm not a cop. i can't control what you do. and i joke that i want spencer agnew to block me but it's just that - a joke (well, a half-joke). if they're seeking this out, that's on them at that point. they are grownups; they know how the internet works and they know how to avoid things and how to search them out. i can't even really be pissed if they put my work in a video, bc hey, it's out there (even if i would rather they didn't look in my general direction). but at the same time, i will say this:

i am making these things about smosh members, but they're certainly not for smosh members. they can read them if they wish or use them if they wish (like i said i literally cant do anything to stop them bc, you're right, we do publish these things publically) but they're not made for them. so when they read them and they're like "oh, that's weird, who would write something like that," well. it wasn't intended for them to read in the first place. and now they've gone and alienated a bunch of people who looked up to them. people who watched their content and were inspired to create something. it's kind of hard to stomach when they're mocking a portion of their fanbase - and not only are they mocking them, but they're making them a butt of the joke for other portions of their fan base. they uplift fan artists and video editors, but fic authors for some reason are always looked down upon. i think there's a difference between acknowledging it exists / talking about it and directly making content to target it you know.

i don't know if there's a "lesson" to be learned from all this. i don't personally think those teens who were writing that fanfiction deserve to be ridiculed for it. i think they'd found a way to express themselves and that's great. i personally hadn't written for months when i started writing smosh fic again, and writing is truly one of my biggest passions in life. the smosh cast, who i'm incredibly grateful for, led me back to it. but i digress; maybe i'm just naive.

i'll also add: i'm not saying, like, fuck the smosh cast for this btw. like i do agree it is their right to look at things on the internet made about them and use it for content. they're even allowed to make fun of it. i'm sure to some people it is weird to read stuff like that about yourself, they're allowed to say that and have that opinion. so go ham, make this kind of video all you want. im just saying it's kind of a dick move and i personally am not a fan of it. but im not gonna stop watching smosh over it or anything and i don't think the cast is worse people for it. i just dislike this kind of video. i dislike a lot of videos - i don't enjoy the tntl trivial pursuit videos and the fortnite videos either. this doesn't make me any less of a fan of theirs, just an opinionated fan.

anyway, like i said, i'm glad it's submitted fics - truly, i'm thrilled. it's still not for me (like i said i already have a hard enough time watching smosh pit theater........ i simply cant do this) but i think it's fine and a good way to go about it!! i hope the video is, for everyone who enjoys this kind of thing, a good video. as for whos gonna be in it - could be anybody at this point (ive read so many pairings yall have no idea) but im so certain i/anthony is gonna be there.

tldr: i do agree, but i also think the renditions of this they've done in the past have mocked fic writers for no good reason. if you want to watch the video i hope you enjoy, and i'm glad they're using submitted fics this time ! <3

[timemachineyeah]

Hi, I really appreciate your points on Madoka! Thank you for providing that insight that is so desperately needed! Because I am so sick of dudebros acting like it's better than female-empowering Magical Girl works aimed at girls, or how whenever I or somebody else critiques the storytelling and message we just get told "Madoka is perfectly feminist actually and if you don't think so then you're just too stupid to understand how DEEEEEEEP it is go back to your stupid sweet and fluffy anime that's for GUUUUURLS" or alternatively "oh so female characters can't ever suffer ever and have to be happy all the time ever or it's misogynistic trash?!?!?!?! check and mate bitch" like I am just so tired. I'm glad to see your posts even though some of them are quite old. I have to say thank you once again for your genuine critique of Madoka because at this point I feel like I'm being punked whenever I talk about what's wrong with it.

Sorry! I saw this earlier and completely forgot to answer!

My few posts have given me a reputation as a Madoka hater (and, fair enough, because I certainly don't blame anyone who is. Please hate Madoka all you like). The truth is I really do like the original show quite a bit, but YEAH.

YEAH.

I think the thing that gets most exhausting for me, over and over, is bringing up these criticisms and being told, "No! Because Madoka fixed all that!" and even ignoring Rebellion (which I am inclined to do anyway), the girls still die.

They die.

The happy ending is a montage of girls dying. Which is a happy ending only because what they were getting before (specifically as a consequence of choosing to be a magical girl) was a fate worse than death.

And it's worth noting how the incubators are portrayed. They aren't portrayed as malicious. They aren't "evil" in that sense. What they are is practical and indifferent. They are taking advantage of inherent factors in the universe, not creating those factors.

Which means that there's something about PMMM that is saying, this is reality. At least in this fiction, this is the reality of femininity. And it is inherent to femininity! Kyubey even explains - it's weird! But only teen girls are like this! That's why we use them!

I think it's fair to be like, hey, that's fucked up. What kind of gender essentialist fatalism? Bro?

And it's also just denial to pretend it isn't about fanservice or a male audience.

As anyone who's been on my blog recently will know, I'm kinda super into Love Live! right now. It's cute. It scratches an itch.

And there's a lot of plausible deniability built into it, and a lot of pushback from English speaking fandom about it, but, uh, Love Live! is an idol game but it's also a waifu collector.

It's also a catalogue of nonthreateningly sexual anime teenage girls specifically designed to appeal first and foremost to lonely awkward Japanese young working men with disposable income.

And, idk, knowing that doesn't impede my ability to find it cute and wholesome and fun and escapist. The fact that it is that does lead to some of creative decisions that make the series less fun for me (it's not very diverse, for example. The yuri elements are subtext for another. And I either wish the girls were less sexualized or older, personally). But I'm not going to deny what it is.

I'm not even particularly interested in shaming the men its aimed at for liking it, or shaming the creators for making it that way per se (well, okay, sometimes I am interested in shaming the creators a lil bit). But I do think most the things about it that read as feminist to me as an American read that way because I am so far outside the original intended subculture. And I think the same is true about Madoka. You can absolutely read feminist messages in it. I certainly do. But placing these works in their original contexts tells a very different much more... regressive? picture. They were not made for women and girls. They are not made to uplift women and girls. They CAN! And they DO! Both in Japan and elsewhere! But that's anywhere from (at best) a secondary market to (at worst) a complete accident.

It's hard for some people to wrap their heads around because in America at least I think the idea of a "cute" (even if that's subverted in Madoka) media starring a large cast of only girls being for men is pretty alien to how we do stories and marketing. Here we understand playboy magazines and swimsuit editions, but we don't understand men collecting merch of a cute fictional girl they like. It would be seen as emasculating.

We understand the reverse. We get that boy bands and anime like Free! can be aimed squarely at women while being comprised entirely of men or male characters. Which is part of why I'm not shaming the male audiences, because... desiring anime tiddy isn't inherently predatory anymore than a lady desiring anime ass. And that's a crass way of putting it anyway. We don't frame hanging a boy band poster up that way, or playing a game like Mystic Messenger. It becomes more complicated because we live in a complicated patriarchal structure that protects and empowers men and women differently and unequally, but that seems like a poor reason to try to tell individual men they aren't allowed to enjoy things in a way that is obviously natural and parallels how... most humans like to enjoy some things sometimes.

But that also doesn't mean we can't look at those broad cultural patterns and... make observations. And have criticisms. And talk about how it affects people, and the back and forth between media and culture.

But, Madoka is for men first. The girls' suffering is a form of male gaze, and pretty unambiguously a kind of very very softcore torture porn for male gamer types. That's not a judgment against it, that's just its literal intended share of the market. It's a pretty easy read if you understand the context in which it was released and the culture it is coming from and catering to. My Little Pony is a little girls toy franchise. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sells toys to boys. Home & Gardens is for housewives. Top Gear is for car dads. These are true even if other people like them. When an adult fan of children's cartoons (I say, as an adult fan of children's cartoons) tries to say, "But it's not really a kids cartoon!" I feel about the same way I do when a feminist fan of some clearly male-centric media says, "But it's not really!"

And that's - own your shit. Own it. It's fine. It's fine to like it. It's fine to love it. It's fine if it means the world to you. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if you like a media that maybe isn't the most mature or progressive masterpiece out there. Just don't pretend there's no validity in obvious criticism. I love some real garbage made by real garbage people. I have survived.

Madoka exists in a fictional universe where the laws of that fictional universe are that 1) girls are uniquely emotional, 2) that emotion and their own aspirations can easily be harnessed against them in such a way that in the best possible universe all it does it kill them. In the normal universe it turns them into evil witches. That's just true. That's the world. I'm allowed to look at that, especially in conversation with magical girl media that came before, and go, "you know what? in that context, that's pretty fucked up" and it doesn't even mean that I stop liking the show, so I don't see why everyone else has to get so defensive about it.

(Y'all have no idea. Those posts are old now, but I got so many asks. I had to block so many people. I'm not trying to take your precious anime away calm down.)

Idk if I completely agree with the tone of my original posts - there's a little bit of offhanded vilifying of "men" as a shorthand for... all the bullshit... and I no longer love that language. I love men. Men are people. Some men can be shitty, but shitty individual men and patriarchy aren't the same. But I do still agree with all my broad points.

Plus, yes, also. The thing of a new (often male) fanbase getting into something you've been into for a long time with some new entry and acting like it both invented and fixed everything about the genre (PMMM and magical girls, Friendship is Magic and girl cartoons, Stardew Valley and farming sims) is frustrating, and to hear many an incurious nerd tell it, magical girls were floundering before Madoka! And I hate that.

Anyway, oops, I went on a little rant. That still makes it look like I don't like Madoka. I actually really do like the original series. I have rewatched it multiple times and probably will again. I even tried to play Magia Record (briefly - I couldn't really get into it). I can't speak to the many many spinoff media - but those have so many different writers and so much different lore that I think it'd probably be hard to try to pin any kind of single ethos to the franchise as a whole any more. But while I couldn't get into Magia Record I'd bet there's a short manga story or something that I'd love at this point. When you make like 200 magical girls or whatever that's bound to happen.

Thanks for the ask. Sorry Madoka fans are still so hyper defensive apparently. I hope you are able to survive them and find some better magical girl series out there. <3

[its-the-val-pal]

Prompt #28: Blunt

"I always appreciate when you give me compliments. Because I know you mean them," she had said.

"F'course I do," the Seeker replied. "F'ya ask me, people don't get 'em enough. Idunno f'they're afraid of what people'll think of 'em or f'they're worried it'll make 'em seem weak or what. I say fuck that. People deserve 'em more. Helps 'em. Makes 'em feel better 'bout themselves. Sometimes ya get t'a point where ya can't even look yerself in th'mirror an' think anythin' good 'bout yerself. An' if ya can't help yourself an' everyone around's too much'f a pussy t'lift your spirits, what then? I give people compliments 'cause they deserve 'em. An' Idunno what kinda day they're havin' but I hope it helps a bit either way."

Val had always been blunt. He'd always spoken his mind. He didn't care what it made people think of him, and he often rarely cared for the consequences. Sometimes it landed him in a brawl. Sometimes it landed him in another's good graces. Always it ended with the person knowing who he was and what he was about, and that was far more important to him than anything else.

It was as much one of his good qualities as it was one of his infuriating ones. It was difficult for him to keep his mouth shut when it came to calling someone out. Even when decorum was required or it was certainly the better path to take. But just as much, one could always count on him to tell them precisely how he felt about a situation and exactly what he thought they should do. An honest, earnest companion.

Even while his life had been slowly crumbling around him, he'd made an honest effort to uplift those he knew. If he couldn't find happiness on his own, the least he could do was spread it to everyone in his vicinity. If he was going to be alone, he could ensure everyone else held some warmth; comfort that another was there for them. And while the idea of such certainly made him sad at times, he was happier knowing that others could find some sort of solace in all of that. And perhaps that happiness was all he had left. Or all he thought he might have left. The lonely road he had opted to wander down in lieu of chasing his own hedonistic pleasures, knowing that they too would only end in disappointment and sadness.

[l0velylecter]

Thank you for writing from a girly/feminine perspective! A lot of popular writing styles nowadays stick to the very tomboy-ish and gruff "not like other girls" perspective and I have trouble relating to that. I hope I'm not offending anyone with this ask but it's nice to find a writer, especially in the COD fandom, who doesn't perceive femininity and gentleness as a weakness.

Hi, darling anon! 

Thank you for this sweet message. Before I continue, I just want to clarify that :

There's nothing wrong with tomboy-ish and gruff girls, but you are right: there is something wrong the moment their authors use them to bring other women down for being the opposite.

Whatever I will say next is just my opinion, nothing is fact-checked, so feel free to disagree if you do 

I noticed that a lot of times, things get lost in translation very easily when writing about women. And in this block of text, when I say women, I also refer to non-cis women. Often modern media have, unfortunately, conditioned us into thinking that women are inherently weak, so we tend to either accidentally (or with purpose) make women 'different from other girls / unlike other girls.' to have people take them seriously.

But the real question here is: What's wrong with other girls?

There are many ways to uplift women other than bringing each other down. Of course, girly girls can co-exist with adjectives like smart, badass, powerful, strong, and independent. 

And honestly, as a girly girl, I am quite tired of girly-girl erasure. And I am tired of girly girls being portrayed as only two-dimensional characters with no worth or substance to the story. Always the punchline to an overused and unfunny joke. 

And even if these headcanons and imagines are all so well written, as lovely as it is to see kick-ass readers/characters who can let's say: physically fight, use a gun, and are part of the military, as a girl who can't even lift her suitcase I find myself unable to relate to these pieces. One might say: ' But it's just fantasy, it's supposed to be unrealistic.' 

I agree, however, I want my fantasies to also cater to my perception of reality if you get what I mean — my preferences and style. Maybe it's easier for me to see myself as a benefactress to a private military unit than a soldier. This is why I prefer to write about readers as civilians, non-active duty personnel, people in non-military professions, etc. because I can picture it better. And as a writer, my skill of writing can also improve and expand, sooner or later I won't be that restricted in writing and can write about all sorts of readers in all sorts of scenarios. Because I know I cannot put women into boxes, certainly not one that excludes people from enjoying a fandom: which in this case is call of duty.

By the end of the day, my wish is to see more inclusivity in writing about women/female characters! women are allowed to be traditionally feminine, women are allowed to be kick-ass, women are allowed to be smart, women are allowed to be brave, women are allowed to be strong, and women are all allowed to be all of the above at once! 

If you don't agree with how an author writes their reader, it's not difficult to scroll and find something more to your taste. I have received a few messages in my inbox complaining about how I am writing unrealistic reader povs, I never reply to these because by the end of the day: this is all fantasy. And I'm sorry, but to quote one of these messages: maybe it is difficult for certain anons to see themselves as an 'it girl'...but not me though ( stay safe💋) 

In conclusion : women of all backgrounds and settings are not weak, and women shouldn't be restricted to just a 'trope' or a label. there is strength in being gentle and there is courage in being kind. 

Again, please correct me if I use any wrong terminologies, and these are all just my opinions. Thanks for this wonderful compliment anon, you gave me a chance to speak out about what I've held in my heart for a long time. You made my week <3 

smooches x

[omgkalyppso]

🍄Decriscribe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”  

🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I'm always interested in the ideas that just don't work out for whatever reason, probably because I end up scrapping about 60-80% of my ideas lol

asdhfkjlas That's so relatable.... Thank you for the ask!

🍄 Wordy but:

two ties to Menzoberranzan + a duke and two guilds on your side = a civilized, if fucked up, society of vampires

🖍 I can never limit myself to a sentence, let's be real.

b/g3 spoilers and pre-established relationship (Étoile and Wyll) conflict implied below the cut

Here's some dialogue from a vampire spawn oc, Anastasia. Turned by Leon less than a week before Cazador's defeat, with a son in Baldur's Gate. She doesn't want to go into the Underdark. She argues she isn't blood starved like so many of the rest. She is pivotal in how their little vampiric society forms:

"...Property disputes go to your member of the council. Worship of Shar or any devil, and signs of Shar or any devil should be reported to the Council. Two vampires of the House must always be in the Underdark. The council meets every new moon. Missing Council members forgo their votes, and vampire spawn are immediately up for replacement, while vampires and Étoile must have their deaths confirmed to be relieved of their positions on the Council. No vampire may substitute their vote on the council. Some votes will be open to all members of House Ienith. Punishments for law breaking will range from pain, to fines, to labour, to exile, to execution by beheading or exposure to the sun. "But we are not a stupid people. We want to eat and laugh and love again. We will flourish together. We will uplift one another. We will be free."

♻️ There are two moments of conflict with Wyll that I'm scrapping. I don't want to make him in conflict with Étoile just to honor canon that could've been more considerate to begin with. He's capable of social understanding wrt "monsters" if he can canonically romance Astarion, of being self-aware wrt the "devilish" appearances of tieflings, and of being happy helping people as Duke — really there'd be no shortage of combat, how familiar are you with the forgotten realms? dfjshgbskdjh

But that does mean that I'm losing a planned moment where Étoile leaves the duke's estate to spend a night at The Favored Knight, a classy inn in Hightown I made up and Astarion comes to comfort them. I'll share some blocked dialogue:

It's like 2 AM.

Étoile: A room is 14 gold? Innkeep: Yes, sir. Étoile: Here's twenty-five for a room, a bath and a bottle of wine, and two more if you can find me a messenger to go to the lower city? Innkeep: Certainly. Do you have a letter prepared? Étoile: No, I'll need a minute to write it. Innkeep: Of course. Right this way. I'll send three up with the bathwater, and either I or another will come for the letter. Étoile: Please. Innkeep: My pleasure, Mla'ghir. [i headcanon this name to find purchase in their vampire community and slowly fall into public knowledge; this is just a statement that they're recognized, and there's an implication of discretion as a reflection of authority]

[the letter]

Astarion. I am at the Favored Knight in Hightown. I wanted a bath and to be away from our old friend. Things did not go well. You are welcome to stay at home, but if you came to me … I would appreciate the company. All my love, Étoile

[some time later]

Astarion: Do you want to talk about what happened? Étoile: Say you love me. Astarion: Oh, Endanya, more than anything. I love you. Étoile: I love you too. Wyll, he— [REDACTED] Astarion: He's had a long time to [REDACTED] Étoile: [REDACTED] Then he wouldn't allow me time to dress before he stormed out. It felt … very undignified. Astarion: Fuck him then. Étoile: Astarion. Astarion: No, I— I don't want you treated that way. Étoile: He said we could talk about it tomorrow, and he did apologize. I want to hear what he has to say. Astarion: [indignant] He's going to hurt you again. Étoile: [resigned] Probably. Astarion: [REDACTED] Étoile: [REDACTED]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And I still want Wyll as part of their relationships, so I worried about how conflict would be to my audience. It'll be lighter. Different. Better.

I hope. LOL.

But yeah, I'm not going to share Wyll's (just) anger blocked dialogue. I'll figure it out.

[whencallstheheart]

What are you hoping happens tomorrow in the season finale?

I'm not sure if we'll see a Nathan/Elizabeth kiss but, I'm ok either way. I'm not really getting my hopes up for anything in particular tomorrow night. I know we'll end on a cliffhanger of sorts so, curious to see what that is. I think Lucas will win the election but, that definitely could part of a cliffhanger in some way.

I don't necessary have any hopes aside from some discussion about their feelings for each other. I'd be satisfied with that for now. I don't need them to kiss yet but I wouldn't complain about it either. I don't think it'd feel right for Elizabeth to do that so soon after ending things with Lucas even if the feelings are there so I don't think they'd do that. Lucas fans certainly wouldn't appreciate that.

I'm not sure we'll end on a cliffhanger now. I could see it going either way. I wasn't expecting the break up to happen last episode and thought that might be part of the finale instead for the drama of it all. Maybe they'll end things on a more uplifting and promising note instead with new beginnings for characters.

I expect Lucas to win too unless the plan is to keep Montague around causing problems. If that's the case, I'd expect the cliffhanger to be something with that. Maybe even someone in danger or something. Since we know Lucas is sticking around, maybe that means he loses. If he wins he wouldn't be in town (or so they claimed) so maybe he'll still have to fight the big bads in Hope Valley some other way.

[lyra-brie]

OUABH Themes Rant

I was asked to share the speech I wrote for my speech class where I rambled about the themes in OUABH for three minutes straight, so here you go lol. It talks about the Caraval characters as well, since my teacher wouldn't have a clue who they were either it talks about them like they're all in the same book. I don't have the energy to edit it right now, so it's staying like that for now.

Heavy spoilers for Caraval, OUABH, and TBONA!

~~~

My current favorite piece of literature is Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber. The main reason I love it so much is the very well-developed themes. One of the biggest ones is people make bad decisions because of broken hearts. Broken hearts even show up in the title. The story starts off because Evangeline Fox deciding to make a deal with a Fate named Jacks because her heart is broken over her first love. Throughout the story, we have more and more instances of these bad decisions over being brokenhearted. For the majority of the story, Jacks is going through this whole scheme so he can go back in time and have another chance with his one true love. In the end, Jacks ends up going back in time for a different reason, to save Evangeline, despite the warnings he got that time would take something of equal value to him. Another important theme is that you have to fight for your happy ending. One of my favorite quotes in the book is, "Happy endings can be caught, but they are difficult to hold on to. They are dreams that escape the night. They are treasure with wings. They are wild, feral, reckless things that need to be constantly chased, or they will certainly run away." Evangeline is constantly chasing her happily ever after, and a big question she has is how far she's willing to go for it. It shows up after Jacks turns her family to stone and tells her that someone else will rescue them and she'll be rich and famous, but she makes the choice to save them herself. It shows up when she was willing to make a deal with Jacks for a chance at her happy ending with Luc. Jacks spends most of the book fighting for his own happy ending and going much farther than Eva would even consider to get another shot at true love. Not every love is meant to be, shows up a lot, too. For Eva, her love for Luc wasn't what she thought it was, and she has to come to terms with the fact that their love wasn't meant to be, even though it was still important to her story. For Jacks, I think it's coming to terms with his one true love not being his one true love at all. They both have to wrestle with those feelings and realize that it's okay to let those things go. Love is shown as a form of magic stronger than Death or Immortality. In both romantic and other forms, Love is so strong that neither Death nor Immortality can stand against it. For the sisters Tella and Scarlett, this shows up when Scarlett's love is strong enough to bring Tella back from the dead. For Tella and Legend, Legend loved her so much that he gave up his Immortality for her because Immortality and Love cannot co-exist. For Eva and Jacks, it was when he gave up his chance at happily ever after to save her, no matter the cost, even if he wouldn't be able to be with her. Eva sees hope as a magic of its own, too. Even just a spark of it can start a wildfire that can't be stopped. Having even a tiny bit of hope can be what you need to finally catch that happily ever after you've been chasing. Hope and Love can carry you through the darkest of circumstances. That's why I love Once Upon a Broken Heart. The themes are so beautiful and they can help uplift you in your real circumstances.

[doublegoblin]

Song to OC

Rules: Assign a song that fits the vibe of your OC.

Thank you to @asterhaze for the tag! This is certainly an interesting one!

Whoms't've to no pressure tag: @angie-j-kay @randomstupidchaos @conkers-theficwriter @hallwriteblr

I'll be going through the songs for Alex the POV character from Rituals and Red Tape. With a little bonus at the end~

Try to not take the lyrics too much into account, as is for the vibe!

Okay so I'll be honest and say I had not seen what the english for this song was until just recently (like putting this together recently) and dang, the lyrics fit the vibe more than I thought they would ^^;;.

What I had in my mind original was, well, and opening to a show. The first big bass hit would have been a big stack of paperwork being placed on Alex's desk. Then just like a montage of stuff.

Really they want to just exist in this world with no issues, but, other dreamers make problems and so they need to fix those problems; otherwise they risk a talking to by Dave, oh and reality would come undone too so that wouldn't be great either.

The vibe I try to go for with Alex is an overtired and burnt out office worker/park ranger kind of thing.

Now don't get it twisted though, they may be tired and burnt out but they are not going to let their team down. During their most difficult times they look back on everything, everyone that is counting on them and they rise to the occasion. They also use this past knowledge and experience to try and uplift those around them so they don't sink. In a place where time doesn't matter, the body you are in is just a vehicle to experience the world, and you are so removed from your waking self you are an entirely different person; it's can be taxing to always pick yourself up and keep going. Eternity is a really big thing.

No big text for this, just the vibe of when Alex first came to the dream reality. This band also has a song that was the inspiration/unlocked the writer block, for the final confrontation of the book~

NOW FOR BONUS

Dave-

You go into your boss' office for an employee review. It's a gray coast line, obsidian pillars start to rise from the ocean, and the sky break open. You forgot your employee handbook, what do you do now?

[animehouse-moe]

Honey Lemon Soda Volume 1

So Honey Lemon Soda was a pretty big license from Yen Press last year, with lots of people excitedly chattering about it. Of course I'd have somewhat high expectations for it, I was thinking it'd have to be a pretty impressive story to garner such attention from just a license announcement. But wow, it went above and beyond those expectations. The entire concept is rock (pun intended, you'll see) solid, and they go right for the throat of a lot of traditional Shoujo clichés, either to subvert expectations or transform them into meaningful and important pieces of the story.

But what is Honey Lemon Soda anyways?

Well, dear reader, Honey Lemon Soda is the story of Uka Ishimori (left), a girl just starting her high school life, looking to put her middle school experience behind her. Despite her good grades, despite the ability to go to some of the best high schools around, she instead chooses to go to Hachimitsu High School. Because more than anything, she wants to shed her past. She no longer wants to be called 'Rocky' (a nickname used to bully Ishimori because her last name has the Kanji for stone at the start - 'Ishi'), she no longer wants to be satisfied with hiding in the background, with not being able to live the life she dreams of.

And that sentiment is realized in such beautiful fashion in this first volume. Some of it is used to shatter Ishimori's concept of the perfect life, others are used to strengthen her ideals, and there are even pieces that are turned from negative to positive. Honey Lemon Soda takes a heartfelt look at Ishimori's ideals, and piece by piece tears down her walls to build up a beautiful statue in its place. And it's such an uplifting and important story.

It speaks to Ishimori's social anxiety, to her fears of opening up to people because of how she was treated. It tackles the challenges of reaching out for a helping hand when you've always been bullied, of taking that first step and putting your neck out there even if it's just for the smallest of things.

It's just... beautiful. It's such a great look at the effects that bullying has on people, and how hard it can be to move past it, to grow beyond the chains that bound you socially. And while it is beautiful and very rose colored, it's not some idealistic approach. The most important piece that this first volume establishes is that you have to want to be saved and helped. Crying silently to yourself will get you nowhere. Even if it might seem pathetic, even if it takes every fiber of your being, the most important thing to do is reach out.

It speaks so clearly to just how bullying can affect how you approach life. Sure, Ishimori was as stiff as a pole in middle school, and never stood out for anything, but that doesn't mean anything about her. It doesn't mean that she can't be smart and help people, or that she's not athletic or skilled. And this first volume goes there as well, it doesn't just stop at the bigger picture, but gets right down to the smaller pieces as well. The difficulty of lending someone a hand, the anxiety and pressure from team activities, even the fear and concern with asking someone to be your friend.

What makes all of it so worth it though, is that it helps Ishimori realize. It helps prove to herself that just because some people thought poorly of her and bullied her, that not everyone's out to do the same. That there's people out there that don't see her as 'Rocky', or see her as a burden. Of course with these realizations, It's really easy for smaller pieces and even at times the larger ones, to lose their appeal. It's certainly an easy trap to continue a cycle with it to continue to have those "moments", but Honey Lemon Soda easily breezes past that. It takes each of Ishimori's experiences in this first volume and compounds them, it builds them to be taller and stronger, and you can immediately feel the weight of that change in what she does.

She'll ask questions she would have never thought of having the confidence to ask, she'll heartily laugh over simple things she wouldn't have dared to before, she'll involve herself socially and of her own will. It doesn't take half a dozen volumes for cracks to show in Ishimori's shell. Hell, it hardly took more than half of the volume.

Honey Lemon Soda, with just a single volume, is such an inspiring and brightly shining story about a girl learning to love life, finding a way to make her dreams come true, and break free of the cage that held her in middle school. Sure, there's romance, but they address it very briefly and (rightly so) brush past it, instead choosing to lay the groundwork for its future. Because of that, Honey Lemon Soda certainly has ideas of love in its head, but it goes far beyond that to focus on Ishimori as a character. She is a high school girl looking to shed her past and grow into her rose colored future well before she is a maiden in love. And I think it's wonderful. It doesn't rush itself, nor does it drag its feet. It finds the perfect happy medium to sell Ishimori's story, to show just how badly she wants to change, how bright she can truly shine, and how much help can mean to someone.

[kawaiiblazedreamer]

8 Go-To Resources About cake london pound cake

Pound Cake Strain Review Fundamentals Explained

Table of ContentsNot known Facts About London Pound Cake - Strain InformationWhat Does London Pound Cake – Strain Review - Real. Functional. Mean?6 Easy Facts About London Poundcake Strain - Hybrid Cannabis Video, Thc, Terps ShownThe 30-Second Trick For London Pound Cake Marijuana Strain: What There Is To Know

Some mention the scent is a bit various than what they counted on. Are you an amateur gardener searching for a trusted seed banking company? ILGM is actually the planet's most well-known provider. Have a look at our. Appreciate your grow! Some mention the preference of Greater london Pound Covered is, in reality, above its own odor.

Those that perform sporadically utilize weed could experience results that are more powerful than they would certainly prefer. This is why you need to save this stress for evening use (mule fuel strain). Under the worst-case scenario, you could discover that it sedates you a little much more than anticipated, negating any kind of possibility of being actually productive later.

These seeds take about 12 weeks to develop. They agree with for expanding either inside or outdoors. Don't assume to find any feminized variations of seeds, therefore be readied to "grass" out the males the moment you can recognize them. Because they are expensive to get, London Extra pound Cake weed continues to be among the extra mysterious marijuana plants to grow (thc gummies london).

Have you ever smoked or? Feel free to let me recognize what you consider this weed tension in the opinions listed below. Robert - cake disposable london pound cake.

London Pound Pie is actually an indica prevalent hybrid stress that truly stuffs a hit! Its THC content may rise to 29%, and customers compliment Extra pound Covered for its capability to produce a blissful body system and also head high. This tension was born when Sunset Sherbet was crossed with an unfamiliar hefty indica strain.

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Greater london Pound Cake will certainly leave you feeling creative, high, and also ready to take on your day! It is actually a great tension to delight in with close friends, or alone throughout a calming day at property. This strain often tends to increase reasonably dense along with lengthy branches (pondon cake). Each of its own buddies are actually darker eco-friendly in different colors along with brownish-yellow shaded pistils all throughout the surface.

But also for those having to deal with state of mind conditions or disorders like depression, this pressure can easily deliver a lot needed relief! Due to its capacity to calm the mind and also generate an uplifting feeling of ecstasy, patients commonly evaluate this strain as havnig mood-boosting as well as maintaining properties - london jelly cake strain. Greater London Pound Cake is actually likewise helpful for those with interest shortage ailments, provided just how it can assist one center their mind and have a more significant feeling of control during that sense.

It can additionally create a scenario of the munchies, assisting individuals dealing with a shortage of appetite due to drugs, persistent health conditions, or even the adverse effects of chemotherapy to consume regularly and keep a healthy weight (cake weed strains). However, it uses a pleasingly uplifting yet unwinding mental experience that helps induce innovation and also focus (vanilla cream pie strain leafly).

A lot of people report that it assists cease competing notions and can easily also shut down the bodily reactions to anxiousness or even fear. Numerous anecdotal consumers likewise state that Greater london Poundcake aids with state of mind swings and the incapability to center dued to ADD or even ADHD - mint pound cake strain. Your viewpoint of the Greater london Poundcake stress will definitely be actually located totally on your very own personal tastes. garlic sherbet strain.

If there is everything that I absolutely marvel at about the flowerpot planet, it is actually the variety of choices you acquire whenever you prefer to eat any sort of bud - gorilla cake strain info. Coming from the dankest weed to the fruitiest flavours, the assortment is thus good that you are actually consistently in shock when you discover a new stress (cookie face strain leafly).

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I concur, the name is alluring good enough to provide it a shot, yet moreover, it was the dazzling profile as well as the strange moms and dad of the pressure that irked my interest to provide it a favorite. And as they say, the rest is actually past - pondon cake. I never ever leave an excellent stress simply for me, and I understood I had to pen down my testimonial for each 420 enthusiasts who are searching for some relevant information concerning this appeal.

I don't just like a beautiful pressure, claimed no one ever. Our team all receive a light high by examining the wetness, the small closely-packed buds, the trichome covered colourful pistils, and as well as, the tantalizing fragrance. Greater London Pound Birthday cake is just one of the strains that aggravate you along with their appeal, simply intending to be actually enjoyed - uk cheese strain.

If you are actually believing the sweet, mellow London Pound Birthday cake Pressure will leave you with an understated fragrance, you're thus inappropriate. The pressure aroma is rather tough, sufficient to stink up the room, so if you're anticipating toking it quietly, abort the mission (ice cream cake cresco). That being actually pointed out, it doesn't possess a steamy scent, however rather drops on to the enjoyable side of things - london piund cake.

You could count on a fruity aroma, yet it possesses hints of timber as well as the planet alongside some berry-like aroma to also traits out. A much deeper sniff reveals notes of citrus and lemon, giving it a best mixture of wordy and rounded. Frankly, the down-to-earth nuttiness is tasty as well as operates effectively to prep you for the flavour it has to offer.

The exhale carries forward the nutty and also cakey profile page of the strain, leaving you along with a down-to-earth taste as well as the hanging around pizazz of grapes. bliss cake strain. Considering its high THC information, practically neighboring at 30%, the Greater London Pound Covered is except the newbies or novice tokers who have simply entered the grass street. gorilla cake strain price.

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As the high lives in, the second effect occurs in a condition of relaxing high, floating your physical body by means of the tired as well as loosening up stage. You will discover your own self easily on the couch, decreasing in between the condition of tiredness and also sedation, but not that is too overwhelming. The delicate focus as well as the sluggish sneaking physical results produce it a best tension for night use.

An ideal pressure for an exciting movie night! As well as do not worry, the potency performs not trigger paranoia or even stress, instead creates you a lot more relaxed. There are no negative side-effects of the London Pound Pressure as it is a very calming, rounded, tension even though it is quite superior in THC content.