#but canonically we went backwards so he was just incredibly shocked

[breezy-cheezy]

“It’s not too late to set things right.”

I’mmm still real messed up over little Caligosto here...I do wonder what his younger self would think about his grown up self’s actions....and I wanted him to interact more with Raz, since Cali’s sanity seems to be the most intact in his childhood; you do find his moral compass there, after all. Also I just wanted to get that poor kid a hug in some way aaaa

I think it’s interesting (in the most bitter, horrible way possible) that with Mr. and Mrs. Loboto trying to get rid of a “monster”, they really just ended up creating one. :T World’s worst parents everyone!

[duuhrayliegh]

Hello, darling! I was wondering if you could right some Bucky x reader, where the reader worked along Sharon during Civil War and she meets Bucky. Then she runs always with Sharon and meets Bucky again in Madripoor and continue their story. I hope that makes sense. Thank yooouuuu✨✨✨

hey babes!! yes i absolutely can! i kind of gave more background than i meant to making it way longer, but i hope you enjoy it anyway! i do want to continue this story and most definitely will be so be on the lookout for the other parts of it lovie <3. i hope you still enjoy it even though it isn’t quite what you asked for yet :)

A Friend of Yours

FATWS SPOILERS

warnings: not much, canon lvl violence, some suggestive stuff closer towards to end, language, i think that’s it

word count: 6140 i went a bit overboard, it’s fine i’m totally fine

a/n: i got this request and then didn’t stop writing all day. i didn’t get anything else done all day. i got home at like seven-ish? and i’ve been sitting on the floor of my bedroom just writing this fic (for context it is now 12:47 pm where i’m at)

check out A Friend of Yours - pt. 2 and A Friend of Yours - pt. 3

p.s.: this is the first fic that i’m writing with an actual ‘x reader’ i’m so proud

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

******************************

You grew up with Sharon, the two of you were best friends from birth it seemed. Honestly, Peggy raised you more than your own parents did. When Aunt Peggy got Sharon her first thigh holster, she got you one too. You enlisted together, moved up the ranks together, everything. So, it was of no shock to anyone that after the fall of SHIELD, you both moved together into the CIA’s Joint Terrorism Task Force.

You were inside the hotel with Sharon, Steve and Sam when the bombing on the UN took place. The look of unbridled fear that fell over Steve’s face as they announced Barnes as the primary suspect was heart wrenching. You weren’t able to watch it for long because your phone was already ringing off the hook.

“Look, you need to get me more information, and now.” You gritted into your phone speaker before quickly hanging up the phone and turning to a crestfallen Steve who was still watching the news casting. Sharon ended her phone call and turned to you.

“We have to go to work.” A few short hours on a jet later, you and Sharon were coordinating the operation. Close by, Steve and Sam were awaiting new information. Steve had this insane plan to find Barnes before the whole rest of the world did. Like that’s going to happen, it took the world 70 years to find Barnes. Of course, Steve and Sam are going to find him in about half that time.

You followed the blonde woman into a busy coffee shop and up to the counter. She slid a manila folder over to a well disguised Captain America. “Tips have been pouring in since that footage went public. Everyone thinks the Winter Soldier goes to their gym. Most of it’s just noise, except this.” Sharon was talking quietly, trying to not draw attention to the fact that she was committing a serious offense.

“We have to give the briefing, like now Shar, so we have to go.” The two of you pushed off the counter and you turned quickly to say one last thing. “And you better hurry. They’ve given the order to shoot on site.”

You left the shop quickly and made your way back to the white tent, passing the redheaded spy who was watching you like a hawk. A look of understanding crossed her features as you kept a calm facade. She fucking knows, how the hell could she read you that easily?

*********************************

The next time you saw any of them, they were exiting the back of an armored prison van. It was no surprise that his eyes flitted over to his best friend from childhood. You glanced over at Barnes, who was strapped in all different ways, and your heart hurt for him. You tried not to pity him, you know you would’ve gotten a slap on the wrist from Aunt Peggy about it.

Bucky must’ve felt you looking at him because his steel blue eyes locked with your pair. This was the first time that you’ve ever actually seen the man in person. It was startling, in a good way. You grew up going to the Smithsonian and hearing Aunt Peggy’s stories about the great James Buchanan Barnes. You never thought that you’d get the chance to meet the man you did a history report on your freshman year of high school.

“Y/N?” Sharon’s voice cut through your thoughts, recalling you to reality and out of your past. “We have to go. We’ve been assigned to monitor Steve and Sam while they’re here.” Sharon was clearly not a fan of this, which made you laugh loudly.

“Oh, score! We get to babysit Captain America and the Falcon!” You spoke in an unnecessarily upbeat voice and then clapped your hands together. “Our dream job! Let’s go, Shar!” She stared at you for a millisecond before slapping a hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s go, you fucking dork.” You followed her through the office building into the control room where you observed Tony talking to Steve. Apparently, the conversation was not going well because both their faces held angry glares. Eventually, Tony left the room, leaving Steve alone with his thoughts and that can never be good.

“How you doing, Cap?” You asked as you less-than-gracefully plopped yourself into the chair across from him. He looked over at me and released a heavy sigh.

“Honestly, Y/N, not that great at the moment.” He looked at you with his iconic mom Steve stare. Wow, so that’s what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that. Sam walked in and sat next to you. You drowned out their conversation as your gaze focused on screens outside of the glass office.

The video feed of Barnes in his metal cage was displayed on a TV screen. How is this considered humane? Obviously you knew that the CIA had pushed boundaries in the past, but this was just insane. “Are those restraints really necessary?” Sam seemed to be just voicing his thoughts, not expecting a response back.

“Well, he is considered an international terrorist, so yeah, they’re kind of necessary.” You said quickly and then muttered under your breath, “No matter who thinks that it’s excessive.” Steve’s gaze met yours and he was about to speak when Sharon walked in and dropped a paper in front of Sam.

“The receipt for your gear.” A scoff sounded from Sam as he glared at Sharon.

“‘Bird costume’? Come on.” Always quick to defend your best friend.

“Hey, we didn’t write it up.” It came off snappier than you had meant it. Sharon shot you a look, signaling you to back off. You raised a brow at her as she leaned over the table to the intercom buttons.

The audio from Barnes’ evaluation echoed through the glass room. Everyone around you was unsuspecting the four of you listened in. The psychologist was talking to Barnes, who seemed incredibly closed off. Who could blame the guy though?

“I’m not here to judge you. I just want to ask a few questions. Do you know where you are, James?” The psychologist paused for a second, looking down and off to the side. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, James.” The caged man spoke for the first time.

“My name is Bucky.” His voice was rough from not being used. A look crossed Steve’s face and he turned to Sharon.

“Why would the Task Force release that photo to begin with?” Sharon’s body turned to face the man speaking to her. Her brows furrowed while she answered.

“Get the word out, involve as many eyes as we can?” Your head tilted, trying to follow Steve’s train of thought.

“Right. Good way to flush a guy out of hiding. Set off a bomb, get your picture taken. Get seven billion people looking for the Winter Soldier.” Oh shit.

“You’re saying someone framed him?” You wanted to believe it with every fiber in your being.

“Steve, we looked for the guy for two years and found nothing.” Sam reminded in a calm tone.

“Yeah, you didn’t bomb the UN though. That turns quite a few heads. Especially if prominent people like King T’Chaka end up dead because of it.” You made a good point, but there were still pieces missing.

“That doesn’t guarantee that they would find him. It guaranteed that we would.” Sharon and Steve began examining the room around them. Your attention returned to the audio emitting from the intercom.

“You fear that,“ the doctor paused, “if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop. Don’t worry.” He glanced down again and moved his hand to swipe something away.

“Guys?” You pointed to the screen as the doctor held up his pointer finger.

“We only have to talk about one.” All of the sudden, the screens went dark and the lights flickered off. Secretary Ross was yelling at technicians to get his video back. Tony was speaking to his AI, Friday, about locating the source of the outage. Steve and Sam tensed at the thought of what could be going on with Barnes.

“Sub-level five, east wing.” was all Sharon said as the pair ran off. You looked at her and threw your hands in the air.

“What the hell do we do now, Shar?” She glared at you as she started reasoning with you.

“They’re stronger than we are. If they can contain whatever the hell is happening down there then great. In the event that they can’t, we’ll be up here with Natasha and Tony to deal with it.” You nodded quickly as you both ran out of the room.

You quickly followed Natasha, Tony and Sharon to the main level of the building. Clearly Steve and Sam were unsuccessful in containing the situation because Barnes could be seen through the glass, fighting his way to his destination.

Tony stunned Barnes with a previously concealed Iron Man glove. Barnes started towards Tony and quickly attacked. After Barnes bested Tony, it wasn’t long before Natasha rushed the man alongside Sharon. It wasn’t hard for Barnes to throw Sharon across the room. Natasha took the opportunity to launch herself onto his shoulders, which caused Barnes to slam her into a table with his metal hand wrapped around her neck.

She mumbled something to him as you kicked his ribs, releasing his chokehold on her. He stumbled backwards, his hard gaze landed on yours as he approached. Your eyes locked on his as the two of you traded blows.

They weren’t the same eyes as before. Those eyes were soft and remorseful, these were hard and unattached. There was no emotion behind the pair staring at you. The fraction of a second that you were analyzing his eyes in your head was enough for him to catch you off guard. His metal fist landed in your rib cage. The opposite hand jabbed at your face, busting your lip and sending you flying backwards.

You hit your head on the concrete below, making your eyes roll back. The wind left your lungs and you gasped to get it back as Barnes and T’Challa fought in the background. It was a few minutes later that a concerned Sharon made her way over to you.

“Are you okay?” You looked her over as she did you, checking for any severe injuries. You offered a small nod, not wanting to shake your head too much in fear of a concussion. “Let’s go check in with Ross.”

******************

“And how the hell did Rogers and Wilson even know where to find Barnes?” Ross’ voice boomed through the office. No one said anything, not wanting to incur the wrath of Secretary Ross. “I’ve already allowed Stark 36 hours to find them and bring them back here.” Ross turned to you and Sharon standing in the corner of the room. “If they contact any of you, report it immediately.” Rounds of ‘yes, sirs’ bounced around the room, then chaos ensued as everyone got back to trying to clean up this mess.

“Carter. Y/L/N. Elevator now.” He raised two fingers to point toward the elevators before walking into one. It was just the three of you in the enclosed space. He clicked the button for the ground floor. “I know you have some kind of connection to Rogers but do not let that cloud your judgement. The both of you are CIA agents first.”

“We understand, Secretary.” The elevator doors opened again and you went to step out when Ross stopped you again.

“I mean it, girls. This is your job on the line here.” You and Sharon shared a look before continuing walking. Did he just call us girls?

“Do you think that was supposed to be intimidating?” You laughed under your breath as you went out to the parking lot. Sharon sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“Probably.” She looked at you over the top of her car. “You don’t have to come with me.”

“Where do we start?”

****************************

Getting that fucking shield and bird suit wasn’t easy. They had moved it from the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre to the US Embassy to await transport back to the States. It made it easier but still damn near impossible to get. Thankfully, you and Sharon are good liars. Skills of a misspent youth.

The two of you walked in the front door and displayed your badges. “We’re here to pick up Captain America and the Falcon’s effects.” The man behind the counter didn’t even question it. Man, they need better people at the Embassy.

“You’ll have to sign some paperwork saying you picked it up.” There it is. You both flicked a brow and Sharon held her hand out for the clipboard. Small scratches from the pen in her hand were echoing throughout the empty building.

She handed the clipboard back to the man behind the counter. “Okie dokie, just pull your car around to the side of the building and we’ll get you loaded up.” He shot them a small smile and turned around to file the papers.

“That was easy enough.” You whispered to Sharon as you left, not wanting your voice to carry. You walked to your car that was parked in front of the iron wrought gate. Pulling your car around to the side of the building, you popped the trunk. The gear clad Embassy soldier carelessly tossed Sam’s suit inside before gently placing the shield on top of it.

“Hey, if there’s a scratch on that suit, it’s coming out of your paycheck buddy.” You held your pointer finger up to the man’s unimpressed face.

“Y/N, let’s go. We’ve got to get these to the jet or Ross will have our heads. Remember it’s our job on the line here.” What Sharon said made you laugh big while hauling yourself back into the driver’s seat of the car. As you pulled out into the street, Sharon was typing away on her phone and pushing it to her ear.

“This is a secure line but I don’t know for how long, so don’t talk just listen.” She took a deep breath and then continued. “We want to help. Meet us under the bridge on Route 6. We’ll be there in two hours.” She ended the call quickly and threw the phone outside the car. Glancing over at you, she nodded and sighed again.

“We’ve gotten this far.” You had one question burning in your throat that you were afraid to ask.

“Where do we go after they’ve gone?” She looked at you and she was biting her lip, something she only did when she was incredibly stressed.

“I don’t know yet. Do you have any ideas?” You smiled and thought of the one place that you wouldn’t be followed.

“Yeah, I’ve got one, but it’s rough.”

***************************

The drive to the underpass wasn’t a hard one. You had beat the boys there so you and Sharon were sitting in the car. You had the radio playing softly in the background.

“Who the hell do you know in Madripoor?” You laughed and shrugged.

“I’m supposed to tell you all my secrets for free?” You shook your head and shifted in your seat to face her fully. “I was tasked with tracking some artwork down there. One of my assignments when we went through initiation for the Agency.” You picked at the holes in your jeans. “I thought it was just all fake stuff, but I researched it more and more. Turns out, the underground artwork dealing is really lucrative over there.”

Sharon stared at you in amazement. “What did you do, Y/N?” You smirked.

“I haven’t done anything.” You held her gaze, “Yet.” She released a small laugh and her mouth hung open a bit. “I may have a warehouse out there.” You squinted one of your eyes, and leaned forward. “And the apartment above it.” She was going to say something when an old ass blue Beetle pulled up behind you.

“Now how the fuck did they all fit in that tiny ass car?” You both laughed as you stepped out of the car with big smiles on your faces.

“Not sure you understand the concept of a getaway car.” Steve walked up to Sharon and they began talking as she popped the trunk, revealing their gear. Your attention was on the men in the car behind them. Barnes was stuck in the back away from cameras and Sam was lounging in the passenger seat. Your eyes met Barnes’ again, they were back to the remorseful pair you saw the first time.

“You know he kind of tried to kill us.” You waved your hand in gesture to the man in the car.

“Sorry, I’ll put it on the list too.” He glanced back down at Sharon, who had migrated closer to him. “They’re going to come looking for you.”

She nodded, “I know.” Then the most awkward kiss in all of kissing history took place. Your brows shot up then furrowed quickly, a small wince overtaking your face. They pulled apart and traded more words. Sharon began walking back to the passenger side of the car.

Steve turned around and you looked back at the two men in the car. Both of them were wearing proud, smug grins. Steve threw his head back as if he was berating them.

“About damn time, Cap! She’s been pining over you for God knows how long now.” The windows were down in the Beetle so the other two heard you shouting at their friend.

“Y/N!” Sharon was a bit embarrassed.

“What? It’s the truth, Shar!” The two of you began bickering like an old married couple as you started the car again. Steve got all he needed from the trunk and shut it quickly, slapping it twice. You began driving off with Sharon giving you directions to an airport on the opposite side of the country.

***********************

That was the last time you saw Steve. Last time you saw anyone for a while. You had been dusted in the Blip. Sharon had followed you to your apartment in Madripoor. The two of you were able to figure the city out pretty quickly. Learning the ins and outs of the island, where to go, who to sell to. One afternoon, you and Sharon had been surveying a Van Gogh piece for your gallery when you flew away. In the middle of a fucking deal, what perfect timing.

Five years later, you were reunited with an even more successful Sharon. “I kept your room the way you left it.” She said as she led you through your shared home. “I figured that you’d be back and you’d be pissed off if I fucked with anything.”

You smiled at the woman gratefully and hugged her. Neither of you let go for a while. When you did, she started filling you in on everything. She had continued to split all her profits and had been depositing the money into your account. “Even if you didn’t come back, I could’ve used it if I needed to bug out. Win-win.” She explained with a smile.

The two of you had about six months of getting back into the groove of things. It was quickly cut off by a ping of your phones one day. A look of confusion and anger crossed her face, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She locked eyes with you and told you to get your gear.

“Where are we going?” She threw her phone at you and you looked at the screen. As soon as you read the notification at the top of it you understood. Repeating your question from before, you tied the knots on your Converse. You followed Sharon to the Low Town side of the island.

“Now what the fuck are they doing here, do you think?” The two of you camped outside of the Brass Monkey nightclub, ready for whatever came your way. Deciding that you were too visible to everyone else, you moved to the building across from the club. Something is bound to go wrong and the first place they're going to get ran to is this dead end alley.

Sure enough, not even ten minutes later, Sam, Barnes, and Zemo got cornered in the alleyway. Sharon had decided to stay on the ground floor next to the door. You shot two of the assassins following the group of three and Sharon took out the final one.

You made your way back down to Sharon, who was still holding her gun up. “You cost me everything.” She focused her gun on Zemo.

“Sharon, wait. Someone recreated the super soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” Sam remarked calmly, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Explains why you guys are here and Selby’s dead.” Your brows shot up at that, must of been new information that she got while you were upstairs.

“Why are you here, Sharon?” Sam questioned.

“She was one of the ones who stole Steve’s shield, remember?” You stepped forward, raising your gun to gesture to the men in front of you. “And the wings, so your ass,” you waved at Sam, “could save his ass,” at Barnes, “from his ass.” You lowered your gun and stepped in front of Zemo, staring the man down. Your fist balled and you launched it at Zemo, landing a solid hit to his cheekbone.

Barnes grabbed your hand, twisting your body to slot against his with your arm bent behind your back. He leaned close to your ear, breath making shivers trickle down your spine. “I only let you do that because I’ve wanted to for a while now, so don’t get any more ideas.” Your breath hitched because of the proximity of the man behind you.

“Alright, give me my Y/N back.” Sharon said, lowering her gun to holster it. Bucky held onto you for a few more seconds than necessary and then pushed you towards Sharon as he released you. You scoffed, then shoved your gun into the waistband of your jeans. Sam and Sharon had already started their own conversation by the time you calmed down enough to face Barnes.

Sharon bobbed her head to you, an unspoken language between the two of you. After bringing them into your home, Sam began admiring the artwork in the first floor gallery. “Looks like breaking the law is treating you two well.”

“Before even graduating into the Agency, I had a place over here. Never had any intention on using it, but here we are.” You started, “Then, after having to flee Berlin, for you,” You shot a look at Bucky, “we figured if we had to hustle, might as well enjoy the good life. Do you know how much we can get for a real Monet?”

“Deactivate your hustle mode. You sell fake Monet’s.” Sharon shot him a look, about to defend us when Zemo cut in.

“No. She means real. This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. All the classics.” Sam made a face of disbelief.

“It’s true. You know, half the artwork in museums like the Louvre is fake. Real stuff sits in places like this.” Bucky gestured to the gallery. Sam pulled his phone out of his suit pocket.

“Okay, guys, I see what you’re doing. You’re more worldly than good old Sam.” He was typing furiously as he spoke. Bucky passed him, soundlessly following you and Sharon to the upstairs apartment.

“Yeah. What’s Google say?” Once the five of you got upstairs, Sharon began walking them into her office, telling them that they needed to change because we were hosting clients. It didn’t take long for the men to switch outfits. It was refreshing to see Barnes in something other than combat gear or a torn Henley. Sharon followed you in the office, making a remark at Sam while he apologised.

“Look, you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right? The way you gave up that shield, deep down, you must know it’s all hypocrisy.” She said as you plopped yourself on one of the plush chairs across from the couch, holding a clear glass full of whiskey.

“He knows. And not so deep down.” Zemo added quietly, since when is Zemo informed? Sharon glazed over his comment, opting for asking about the new Cap while filling a glass for herself.

“Don’t get me started.” Barnes spoke for the first time since being downstairs. You narrowed your eyes at the man.

“Please. You buy into all that stars and stripes bullshit.” You swung your glass to Zemo, “Before you were his pet psychopath, you were Mr. America! Cap’s best friend.” His gaze darted over to you, nose wrinkling at your comment.

“Do you know who I am?” He tried to be intimidating but it was just funny to you. You were taking a drink to moisten your throat to fire back a witty comeback, when Sharon spoke for you.

“Oh trust me, she knows. She did a report on you freshman year of high school.” You started choking on your drink as Sharon smirked from the couch next to Barnes. His brows raised and a smug smile graced his face.

“She did now?” Clearly he was a different man from the last time you saw him. Meeting his eyes for the fourth time ever, you were surprised with what you saw. There was almost a hunger lingering behind his eyes.

“Most definitely. I don’t even know how many times she went to the Smithsonian to see the exhibit about you.” You glared at Sharon, who continued to talk, unbothered by you. She raised her own glass to her lips, speaking into her cup, muffling her words.  “Honestly, think she developed a little crush.” Barnes’ eyes never left your face, his mind racing.

“Wait, so the entire time you were helping me and Steve, you had a crush on Tin Man?” Sam interjected, wanting to be included in the conversation. You rolled your eyes and gave a subtle nod to Sam. The action wasn’t missed by Bucky.

“Which is why I think it must’ve been really hard for you to ask him of all people for help. They comin’ down real hard on you out there?” You asked Barnes with a smirk and a head tilt towards Zemo. “I know he fucked you up real good, triggering the Soldier, Barnes.”

Sam laughed beside him. “Dude, that’s basically what you told Walker.” Barnes threw a glare at Sam, who had clapped a hand on his metal shoulder. The conversation dissipated after your comment, guess you killed the vibe.

Sam turned to a relaxed Sharon, “We need your help.” Her body tensed, neither one of you was ready to throw yourself back into enemy territory. “I can get your name cleared.” He dangled a huge bargaining chip in front of her face. You knew Sharon was eager to get back to the States. She misses her dad. It was unfair of Sam to use that as a way to gain her favor.

“Haggling with someone’s life like that isn’t okay, Sam.” You said quietly, focusing your gaze on the glass in your hand.

“It’s not like that, Y/N.”

“Yes, it is, Sam.” You said firmly. “You can’t just say something like that. I know you’re an Avenger. That’s great shit, but you need to realize that if you can’t deliver on your word, we go to jail or worse. You know that.”

“I don’t trust charity, Sam.” Sharon said from beside Barnes.

“All right, a deal then. You help us out, and I get your names cleared.” Your nostrils flared and you shook your head. Sharon agreed, blinded by the possibility of seeing her family again. You don’t doubt that she thought through all the outcomes, it just wasn’t the route you would’ve taken.

“We sell to some pretty connected people. Lay low, blend in, and enjoy the party.” She got up, exiting the office.

“Try to stay outta trouble, boys.” You said placing your glass on Sharon’s desk as you left. “We’ll see what we can find.”

*********************************

You were standing next to Sharon when the three men joined the party. Leaning over to Sharon, you told her you were going to get a drink from the bar. You pushed your way through the crowd, planting yourself on a stool in front of the countertop. Nodding your head at the bartender, they passed you a bottle of club soda.

“Not drinking tonight?” A raspy voice questioned over your shoulder. You turned to face the owner as you shrugged your shoulders.

“Already had my fill. And technically, I’m supposed to be working, Barnes.” Your eyes met with his again. You couldn’t tell if it was the light in the room or if it was just him, but they were a deeper shade of blue than before. He leaned his weight on his elbow that was resting on the bar top next to you. He was so close you could feel his body heat rolling off him in waves.

His eyes roamed your face, stopping on your lips as he spoke. “You know you can call me Bucky, right?” You made a face, bringing your bottle to your mouth. He watched intently as your lips wrapped around the opening.

“We’ve never had a single conversation before today. And the first time you actually met me, you twisted my arm behind my back because I punched the dickwad standing next to you.” You took another sip and his eyes drifted down to your throat. He watched as it bobbed when you swallowed.

“So, yeah. I’m going to call you Barnes.” You leaned closer, “I’ve never been given permission to call you anything else.” You could tell you struck something. Something that he didn’t even possibly know about. His face heated and he had to clear his throat before speaking.

“Um, okay. Well you can call me Bucky or if you want, James.” Your brow quirked and you pulled back to take him in fully.

“How many people have you let call you that since you got your free will back?” Your tone was serious, but your face held a smile.

“None, doll.” His eyes ran over your face again. “I just want to hear how it’ll sound coming from your mouth.” One of his metal fingers came up to rest on your bottom lip as your smile grew.

“James.” You whispered, just for him. What he was giving you was a privilege, one you were going to revel in. One corner of his mouth tugged upwards.

“Again.” He growled as his finger remained on your lip.

“James.”

“Again.”

“James.” The party around the two of you faded away. In your reality, it was just you and the man in front of you. A peaceful place, where nothing could change what was happening right at that moment.

Of course, reality is a bitch. And you never got what you wanted. Your jaw clenched as soon as your phone pinged. James dropped his hand from your face as he read the text with you.

Found Nagel. Meet us outside and if you find Bucky, tell him too.

You scrunched your nose and bit your lip. James’ hand was quick to pull your lip from your front teeth, before resting there for a second as he studied your face. He stepped back quickly, nodding his head for you to follow him.

**************************************

You don’t know how the hell Sharon managed to find him, but she did. You were in a shipping yard for storage cars. “Madripoor could give New York a run for its money.” Sam said as the five of you weaved your way through the containers.

“With a bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving.” She glanced down at her phone in her hand. Nodding toward a red container, “Alright, he’s in there. Container 4621.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out five earpieces.

“We’ll keep watch while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We’re on borrowed time.” You said as you watched everyone situate their pieces. Sharon turned around and began walking down an aisle not far from the container Nagel was in. You stopped James before he could go anywhere.

“Hey, be careful.” His eyes met yours and they were back to the normal steel blue. “Don’t forget who you are, James.” Something flashed behind his eyes, but his face showed no change.

“You too, Y/N. Don’t make me come out here and save your ass.” His eyes flicked down quickly and a smile spread quickly. “I mean, not that I would mind.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder, turning and walking down the aisle Sharon did.

“So,” She was leaned against a rusted container with a smug smile. “You and Bucky, huh?” You groaned and stood next to her.

“I don’t know, Shar. Neither one of us should be in a relationship. Especially since we’re both Enemies of the State, well one of us is, the other one was.” You turned your head to look at her. “What do you think about all of this?” She opened her mouth to speak when you both heard something ricochet off a metal wall.

She raised a finger to her mouth and crouched down before pressing that same finger to her earpiece. “Guys, we have company.” She took off down one end of the aisle and you down the opposite, ready to attack from both sides. There were three men walking towards Nagel’s container, you shot a look down to Sharon and she nodded.

She came from the back with a baton, whacking the last guy once in the knees and once in the head, disarming him. When the front man turned to help his comrade, you did the same move to him with your own baton. You both continued trading blows with the men. You had effectively taken out the first man, using his thigh to latch yourself to the third man’s shoulders. Situating yourself to use your body weight to flip him over, definitely knocking him out.

“Every bounty hunter in the city is here. We gotta go now, boys!” You yelled to your earpiece as you watched Sharon fight off another opponent.

It wasn’t until the gunfire started that Sharon said something else into the piece. “Guys, we’re seriously outta time here.” You both split off, out of each other’s view, battling your own demons. You were currently dealing with two of those said demons, when a third approached from behind. Locking you in a chokehold as the other two continued punching your ribs.

One of the hunters was suddenly ripped away from you. Punches were landing and groans were echoing through the alleyways. You threw all your body weight forward, throwing your assailant over your shoulder. Two gunshots rang out and then a third one, which landed a bullet hole between your aggressors eyes. Your head whipped around to face James, whose arm dropped back to his side.

He walked towards you, putting a hand on your back leading you to where Sharon and Sam were standing. Zemo pulled up in a blue convertible car, “Supercharged.” was all he said. Sam pointed his finger at the man in the driver’s seat.

“You’re going back to jail.”

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” James sighed heavily, his shoulder sinking with the action.

“He’s right. We need him. And there’s two of us, and at least twenty of them.” James got in the front seat, leaving the door open for Sam.

“Fine. But if you try that shit again--”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Zemo raised his hands in surrender. Sam turned to Sharon.

“Well, that was one hell of a reunion.” You leaned over the open door to talk to James. He looked at you with a sad face.

“Why don’t you come back to the States with us?” He tilted his head. “We could clearly use your help, doll.” You smiled at that and licked your lips before responding.

“You know we can’t. Not yet anyway.” He placed his finger back on your bottom lip, maintaining eye contact. “This isn’t the last you’ll see of me, James. That I can promise you.” He smiled and dropped his hand back to his lap.

Sam climbed into the seat behind James. “You’re not going to move your seat up, are you?” James smirked before replying.

“No.” You watched as they drove off, desperately wanting to see James again already.

You turned back to Sharon and the two of you began walking back towards High Town. “I think you should go for it.” 

[hopelesshawks]

History of Us Part 12- Your Mother's Daughter

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Warning for canon typical violence

Masterlist Kofi

Bakugo’s text apology, believe it or not, was more eloquent than the one he offers in person but you appreciate the gesture and the brief hug he gives you when he realizes you’ve been crying. “It’s fine dumbass, you made it to the finals now just give it your all,” he huffs. Kirishima also pulls you into a hug, much longer than the one Bakugo had given you, and spends the whole time giving you a motivational speech about how incredibly cool and manly you are and how sure he is that you’ll do even better in the finals. You really are lucky to have the friends that you do. Especially since you anticipate the crowd is about to sour towards you.

All too quickly it’s time to return to the stadium where Principle Nezu is waiting on a raised platform with a box filled with slips of paper with bracket placements on them. The energy in the stadium is electric as the crowd anxiously waits to see what the bracket will be. It’s different than with the first years, where everyone’s an unknown. The crowd recognizes most of the names now from news reports and hero rescues. Dyed hair could only hide you for so long. “We will now call up the finalists one at a time to draw lots for the bracket!” Nezu announces. One by one you hear others around you getting called up. Bakugo, Midoriya, Shoto, Kirishima, Yaoyorozu, Denki, Sero, Hitoshi Shinso, Neito Monoma, Tokoyami, Iida, Uraraka, Jiro, Ibara Shiozaki and Itsuka Kendo all get called to roaring cheers and applause. That’s 15 names. The little fucking rodent had left you for last. Probably likes the idea of the dramatic reveal. “And last but not least, our 16th finalist (y/n) (y/l/n)!” Nezu calls and it’s like the air is sucked from the room as the crowd gets quiet and then starts murmuring to themselves. You keep your head held high as you walk to the stage even as you notice some of your classmates staring at you and the members of class b whispering. You take the last remaining lot with your head held high, throwing a wink at a nearby camera to further show them their displeasure won’t deter you.

You feel the stares of your classmates as you walk back down the stage. It’s them you really care about in all honesty. 3A had been nothing but kind to you since your arrival and it would hurt a little for their friendship to sour (you’re definitely not thinking about someone in particular at that statement) but before anyone can say anything Bakugo and Kirishima are standing next to you protectively. Kirishima links his arm through yours. “Come on, let’s head to the stands while we wait for them to start the first match,” Kiri grins at you. You give him a grateful smile and are pleasantly surprised when the rest of class a seems to fall in line behind you. None of them look at you any differently, there’s no shift in the atmosphere or added tension. Even as you can feel the glares of the crowd on your back, your new friends shield you from it until you’re in the safety of the tunnel and heading up to the stands.

“You and (y/n) stopped talking about 10 years ago right?” Midoriya asks Shoto as they walk at the back of the pack of class A students. “Yes,” Shoto confirms. “So that’s about when Black Storm was-“ “Yes.” “So Endeavor made you stop talking to her so you wouldn’t be associated with Black Storm.” “Basically.” “Jesus.” Midoriya places a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. Shoto briefly acknowledges the gesture but says nothing as everyone settles into their seats. Nezu then begins to explain the rules of the last game. It’s essentially a wrestling match, the whole stadium is fair game and you win if you can pin your opponent for five seconds or completely immobilize them. Injuries are fine but take it too far and Eraserhead and Cementoss will shut it down. You nod along as the bracket is projected onto the monitors. Your first round is with the Neito Monoma kid, you don’t know much about him, just that the mere mention of his name has Bakugo growling “You better beat that fucking extra.” “Like I’d get eliminated in the first round,” you scoff back, confidence starting to build again as your classmates continue to support you.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a guy with a large shock of purple hair and bags for days under his eyes leaning down to wave at you. You hear Denki yelp and nearly fall out of his chair nearby but ignore it. “(Y/l/n) huh?” he asks, a slight smile. “Yea. Problem with that?” you ask. “Not at all. Villain quirks gotta stick together right?” he smirks as he offers his hand. “I’m only half villain quirk but sure,” you smirk but then you freeze, eyes glazing over before you can reach to take his hand. He smirks back at you as your hand moves to shake his without your permission. You find yourself reaching for your phone, it unlocking once it recognizes your face, and then going to your contacts before plugging in a new number. You snap back to awareness a little stunned, looking between the new contact in your phone and the baffling boy with the mind control quirk who’s currently walking away. “If you wanted my number you could’ve just asked like a normal person!” you call after him. Unbeknownst to you, Shoto watches the entire interaction with barely concealed jealousy.

It’s not long before it’s finally time for your first match. The others had briefed you on Monoma’s quirk, warning you about his copying ability. “Can he copy a quirk if he doesn’t know you have it?” you ask curiously. “I don’t know actually. Most people don’t have two quirks you know, although I don’t necessarily see how it would help?” Kirishima offers with a shrug, having already made it through his first round and into the table of 8. “Trust me, I have a game plan,” you assure him. “See you guys on the other side,” you tell him as you walk down to the tunnel to wait for them to announce your entrance. “And on our left, here she comes. Ready to blaze her own trail and show the whole world that she is more than her name, it’s (y/n) (y/l/n)!” Present Mic’s voice booms over the loud speaker as you walk into the stadium properly. The crowd boos and you must admit it stings a little but you aren’t entirely unaccustomed to the negative attention. Your eyes wander over to the section where your friends are. Bakugo gives you a nod as Denki, Sero, Kirishima, Mina, and Jiro scream and cheer for you, their bodies half over the railing. They can’t drown out the rest of the stadium but they’re trying to and that warms your heart. You grin at them before locking eyes back on your opponent, stepping up to the start point they’ve indicated. “START!” Present Mic’s voice booms and immediately you lunge forward, drawing shadows into your palm before pushing them forward to race towards Monoma.

You’re not shocked when Monoma counters with shadows of his own, knocking yours away, but you can’t help but grin when you notice he’s producing shadows from both of his palms instead of just one. “I should’ve recognized you had Daddy’s quirk the minute I saw you during the qualifying rounds,” Monoma needles and you know he’s just trying to get a rise out of you but you can’t help how your temper starts to flare. He may be using your quirk but he’s clumsier with it, the result of picking it up for the first time now versus your years and years of experience. You send forward another burst of shadows making sure to get your left hand caught in the blast so it looks like both are doing the work. As Monoma clumsily sends forward his own to redirect yours you close the distance in, sweeping his legs out from underneath him. He quickly rolls before you can try to pin him down and you just barely manage to dodge the kick he’d aimed at you in retaliation. “You were there weren’t you? The day your father went rogue,” he taunts. You suck in a harsh breath allowing him an opportunity to lash out at you again and you wince a little at the sharp sting it leaves on your cheek where he’d managed to cut you with your own quirk. Your first instinct is to heal it but you hold off. Not yet. It’s not time to reveal your hand yet. “How the fuck do you know that?” you grit out before lashing out at him harder and faster. He extends both palms out, shadows flying forward to counter your own and as his hands retract you can see black crawling up his arms. Good. Your plan is working. “Oh the little daddy daughter field trip was all over the news sweetheart, we all know you were there to watch the carnage. Why do you think no one trusts you?” Monoma taunts. He fires off both palms again but this time instead of dispersing the shadows you raise both your hands, again feigning that both are doing the work, you push back against his, the shadowy energy growing and growing as you’re both slowly pushed backwards by the force of it. You hold strong though even as more and more black veins crawl up your right arm and your forearm begins to burn with the pain. You can hear Monoma grunting in pain on the other side so you kick it up a notch, fighting through your own pain until finally he breaks. He releases with a gasp, hunching forward with the pain. He looks up expecting to see you in a similar state but instead he finds you glowing as you stride towards him, the black veins rapidly fading as the light you radiate chases them back. Once you're in front of him he barely has any time to react before you deck him across the face, knocking him to the ground. You put one foot on his chest to keep him down, increasing the strength of your healing quirk just so that you’ll glow a little more brightly as you lean down to look him directly in the eye. “I may be my father’s daughter,” you start as the monitor counts down five seconds, “but I’m also my mother’s.”

The countdown finishes and an airhorn blares to signal your victory. You turn away from him, leaving him gaping at you like a fish on the ground as you walk back to the tunnel. The booing of the crowd that follows you out is music to your ears.

As far as you’re concerned? They can die mad about it.

A/N: Ngl I made Shinso so smooth in this one I was like alternate route? 💀 But n o lmao this is Shoto’s fic. OH ALSO we got even more about what happened when (y/n) was 8! I love mixing in her lore, I've actually had the very basic idea for her backstory and potentially where I’m going to take this fic after the sports festival arc since when I first started watching the show. The fight with Monoma in particular has been plotted out literally since I watched the final exam arc I think back when I was primarily a Todoroki simp oop so it's been really fun for me to get to write it here considering I never thought it would be a concept that left my head.

Taglist: @sorrythatspussynal @miss-bakugo-writes @pixelwisp @larkspyrr @sokkaandzukosimp @akkaso @sunaispretty @mindofess @todoplusultra @oliviasslut

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

As The World Caves In (Akechi Goro x Akira Kurusu)

Pairing - Akechi Goro x Akira Kurusu

Smut/Fluff/Angst - Lots and Lots of angst on this one I haven’t written and angst fic in a while.

Warnings - Canon typical gore/horror, and swearing

Additional Info - I edited the way the story plays out a bit and basically removed the fact that everyone knows that Akechi was going to betray them. It makes it more interesting lol.

    Akira hadn’t known many friends before being forced to move to Shibuya and do parole there. He was always very quite, but was always soaking up his surroundings like a sponge. He had his own personality most definitely, but it’s always been hidden and covered with the personality he pieces together from what he believes people will like. So getting thrust into this unknown situation that hadn't even been his fault was a very big shock to this built up personality. Not to mention being forced to make friends and relationships that would help him. Was it shallow to only make friendships he thought was beneficial to him? Sure you could say that, but in the end he actually started to depend on these people and greatly appreciated these people for helping him grow. 

    But that's enough reminiscing, the Phantom Thieves were currently in the middle of a meeting, deciding if they were ready to send the infamous calling card to Sae Nijima. Akira was used to seeing his other seven teammates and friends, but there was a newcomer who he had gotten quite close to: Goro Akechi. Akechi had been around Akira for quite some time making his first appearance when Ann Ryuji Morgana and Akira all went to the broadcasting station for a school field trip; Akira making himself known to the detective when he answered a question. Ever since then, Akechi would accidentally run into the taller raven haired boy. Each time they would run into each other it would make Akira’s heart flutter. The fans of Akechi were correct; he was incredibly charismatic and not to mention, exceptionally attractive. Whilst hiding behind his indifferent blank facial expression, he would eventually become happy to see the detective; even though he was progressively becoming more of a thorn in the sides of the Phantom Thieves.

    The group, after in depth conversation about whether or not they were ready to send the calling card, decided they should wait and send it on a specific day; per Akechi’s request. Akechi had a plan, even though most of the Phantom Thieves didn't exactly trust him, he was the best shot they had. Eventually most of them dispersed except for Yuskue, Akechi, and obviously Morgana. Akira decided to make them all coffee seeing as how Sojiro didn't really care what he did as long as he didn’t take too much coffee. They made small talk with each other before Yusuke left to go home and Morgana decided to retire to bed early, leaving Akechi and Akira in the shop alone with each other. They continued to small talk, even though Akira wasn't exactly paying attention to what was being said, he was paying attention to how Akechi looked. The way the dimly lit golden light of the café, and the almost shimmering light of the moon bouncing off of Akechi in such a pleasing way made him look so ethereal; almost like an angel sent from heaven.

    “Well, I must be going now if I want to catch the last train back to my home. I appreciate to coffee Kurusu it truly does get better every time I stop by.” Akechi said suddenly after a sudden gap of silence; a pleasant smile gracing his face. 

    “Be careful Goro, and I’ve said it before, Akira is fine.” The raven haired boy retuned the pleasant smile before taking Akechi’s empty coffee cup and going to wash it. He heard Akechi slowly gather his things, then the soft ring of the bell on the door alerting anyone inside that it has been open. After a beat the bell chimed once more and the door closed. Once Akira was done washing his dishes and putting them away, he left to lock the café door before retiring to his room to sleep.

    After that, the days leading up to the delivery of the calling card went by in what felt like seconds. Of course he spent the days hanging out with his teammates, getting closer to them giving him more benefits; though he did genuinely enjoy their company. Sadly to Akira’s misfortune though there were no signs of Akechi anywhere. He was probably getting ready still, as much as he didn't want to admit it he did miss him. His polite looking smile and the way his hair was always so soft looking and well kept. But oh well, they’ll have plenty of time to spend with each other finishing off Sae’s palace.

    And then the day was upon them, the day where Sae Nijima’s hear would be changed forever; that is as long as they were successful. They had Makoto deliver the calling card the day before, so this was it. Their only chance. Everything was going to be fine, they would do what they always did and they would be in and out of there within the day. 

    And that's how it went, there was of course a hiccup or two where they had realized that of course the shadow of Sae was cheating, but with Joker’s quick wit there were able to quickly figure out what she was doing and get past it. It difficult for Makoto to see her sister the way she was, but with everyone giving her a reassuring smiling and her subconsciously knowing that this was for the best, see was able to get through everything and talk to her sister for a moment.

    “The investigation will now be able to proceed. The suspicion against you will be lifted as well. This deal we made... was a great experience for me.” Akechi spoke gracefully after the battle had ended and Yusuke and Ryuji found Sae’s treasure. Akechi and Akira both nodded to each other, in mutual acknowledgment and respect. Akira could feel his bond growing with Akechi, this new found trust in him.

    “Alright we don’t need to stay here any longer..!” Morgana piped up, then looked at Makoto asking if she was alright. She gave a quick assured nod.

    “I am.. Let’s go.” Makoto stood from her kneeling position in front of her sister’s fallen shadow.

    “Huh?! Enemy readings! When did they...?! They’re gathering outside!” Futaba’s scan popped up in front of her as she looked through it, trying to asses what the hell was going on.

    “Look at those numbers...!” Yusuke said disbelief prevalent in his voice.

    “There are more coming?! This’ll be dangerous if we don't do something..!” The panic was visible in everyone, they knew that if they got surrounded they would be done for.

    “A group this large would be discovered immediately, so we would need to split up. Although we would need for someone to act as a decoy... No but that's too dangerous..!” Even Makoto was frantic as she desperately tried to think of a way out of this situation.

    “I’ll do it.” Akira’s voice was calm, but powerful and confident. He knew what he was doing and he needed his teammates to believe in him as well.

    “Joker?! Are you seriously planning on distracting them by yourself?!”

    “Let him do it Queen, he’s quite but once he’s made up his mind he wont take no for an answer.” Ryuji knew Akira well, seeing as how he was his first friend throughout this entire process and Ryuji knew that Akira would be okay. He had to be.

    With that Ryuji handed over the brief case, and with a couple more reluctant parting words from just about everyone, he was on his way. He needed to make sure they were safe. Akira gave a theatrical performance as he distracted the guards, making sure it was flashy and everyone knew of his presence. 

    As he bobbed and weaved through guards, finally moving in the shadows he made it back to the main room. His only way out? Through the giant stained glass window. And just with this he was spotted, what better way that to make his escape with an audience of people who were trying to capture him? He jumped up on the railing and ran towards the widow.

    “See ya.” With a quick flourish, he dived out the window and landed on the ground below. But before he could even realize, hundreds of spotlights were aimed at him, and even more police officers were surrounding him. He tried to get away but as he was climbing the latter he was knocked back down with the butt of someone's gun. 

    “Didn’t expect to find some kid. You have your teammate to thank for all of this. You were sold out.” Sold out? Sold out?! How could he have been... Who would’ve-

    Akechi...

    Eventually, he woke up, back to where everything began, the interrogation room. All the questions Sae threw at him as he refused to sell his teammates out. God he hoped they at least were able to get out. Sae’s time eventually ran out and she had to leave. After her Akechi himself entered the room, and it made Akira’s stomach drop. Why did this affect him so much... Akira watched as Akechi quickly swiped the silenced gun from the police officer and shot him, making Akira flinch.

    “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Akira couldn’t help but lash out finally snapping. He had trusted Akechi so much, and of course that was probably his downfall but he couldn’t help it. Akechi was so perfect and he finally felt truly connected to him but what the fuck was this?!

    “What is wrong with me?! Tough talk coming from someone who is tied up screaming at a guy with a gun! You’re gonna regret being born. I don’t understand how you have always had it some much better than me. I trained myself day in and day out to be fucking perfect; but you who is nothing but attic scum showed up and had immediately gathered so much attention. Being worshiped by others.” Akechi swung at Akira, giving him a strong punch directly into the temple making him see stars. Akira groaned from the hit. Everything was so blurry, he didn’t know if it was because there were tears in his eyes or if it was because he just got knocked in the side of the head; probably both.

     Where did everything go wrong? Akira physically couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Akechi was his friend, wasn’t he? Why was everything so backwards now? Whilst he was in his head he hadn’t realized that he was staring at the ground while Akechi was going on and on about how much he hated him.

     “Are you even fucking listening to me?! Are you so fucking cocky that even now, as you sit before me tied up and helpless, you still think you’re better than me?!” Akechi’s voice was becoming raspier by the second as he screamed at the top of his lungs. His vocal cords straining to keep up with his howling. It sounded like the man was tearing his own vocal cords to shreds and he probably was. Akira didn’t even look up at Akechi though, just kept his eyes trained to the floor which enraged the psychotic man above him even more. He couldn’t even register what was happening before Akechi shot him in the knee.

     “Will that get your worthless attention attic trash?!” Akira’s ears were ringing, the adrenaline in his body only barely covering up the burning pain in his knee. Akira cried out, pleading Akechi to stop yet he was only met with maniacal laughter. Laughter that was ripping out of a man’s chest, tearing at his lungs and vocal cords in the process. Akechi screeched as he waved the gun around frantically, and once Akira shakily lifted his head took look at the man he once trusted with his life, Akechi thrusted the gun right between his eyes and pressed hard; throwing Akira’s head back.

     “Beg. Beg me not to blow your fucking brains out like the worthless piece of trash you are.” Akira’s eyes were blown wide open, his breath shaky while his tongue quickly darted out to anxiously wet his lips. He genuinely had to contemplate whether or not it was worth it. What if the other phantom thieves were already on their way to help him? He couldn’t lose his dignity like that. He knew he wasn’t exactly in the position to be choosing whether or not losing his dignity was worth losing his life, but for fucks sake he worked his ass off to get the respect he has now, he will not lose it.

     “Bite me.” Turns out that wasn’t the best answer. Because as soon as “me” left Akira’s mouth, a bullet entered his brain. So much for Joker’s dignity.

[kinsbin]

Camping

Title: Camping Ship: Raiden/Alexys/Kuai Liang/Johnny Cage [Self Insert/Canon] Word Count: 2107 Summary: Alexys feels as though her boyfriends have been neglecting her. So, upon her best friend’s advice, she decides to take matters into her own hands and plan a little trip for them all, making the best of it the whole time.

A/N: Another commission for @bad-blue-moon-rising of her mortal kombat ships! <3

Getting all of them together was a struggle.

Alexys had never found her determination or grit tested in the way that attempting to plan a date with all three of her beloved boyfriends tested her, the organization of their schedules and the constant movements of their jobs and itineraries provided ample confusion and constant missing links between times for all of the men in her life. Often she had excused the flakes and casual reschedulings of plans, as she knew the defenders of Earthrealm were busy for many reasons. Perhaps she felt a bit bad about not being put first, but, she knew that if there was no Earthrealm for her to live on then there was no her to love for them. All three had expressed, time and time again, that that was the worst case scenario for every single one of them. That they would bend heaven and earth to avoid such a situation from ever happening. That they would, above all else, do work to keep her safe first and foremost.

At least that thought made her incredibly pleased, but, the loneliness was still hard on her.

Kano was the one to suggest the organization of a group date, his explanation quick whitted and somewhat annoyed in its tone of voice as he spent time with his best friend on one of her many days away from her boyfriends:

“If they won’t make time for you, make them make time for you. Yer not a piece a’ meat they can chuck to the side when they want to, Sheila, and I’ll kick their asses if they try again ya hear me?”

“It’d be three on one, Kano, you’d die.”

“Happily if it meant defending ya, trust me.”

While the words initially made her laugh, she had taken them into serious consideration. There was honesty to his statement as he left their home the following day, a wave of his hand an a reminder to consider the idea fading on his lips as she bit her own. Thus, the plan had begun to set itself into motion. When all three of her boyfriends had been between jobs and busy schedules, she had announced it. The plan that had been so difficult to organize up until this day with an exciting breath on her lips as she clapped her fingers together and grinned.

“We’re going to go camping!”

The words had shocked all three men at once, their jaws dropping with awe as she announced her plan. Arguments were attempted but shut down, mostly by Johnny who did in fact want to go out and explore the world with his best friends and lover as best as he could. What greater bonding experience was there than kissing your lover under the stars, after all? Movie star moments of a campfire, all of them around as they roasted marshmallows and kissing with laughter in their veins flooded his starstruck eyes. Kuai was...skeptical at least, towards the idea of trusting the outdoor and vulnerable landscape with their status as important protectors. Raiden was, lastly, seemingly unaffected by the group decision. If Alexys wanted to enjoy the bounty of nature, then, he would support her when time allowed it.

Months later it finally took place. Alexys balanced on the balls of her feet as she faced the massive entrance of the forested campgrounds. Johnny had volunteered to drive both themselves and Kuai towards the ground, while Raiden would meet them there after settling a few substitutions for himself at his Sky Temple. As they waited for the fourth and final member of their party, Alexys faced the other two men with an excited glimmer in her grey eyes.

“I’m so happy we could do this!” She cheered, hurrying over to press a kiss to both of their cheeks with an uncontained smile, “I appreciate you both taking the time for this...I know it was hard to do.”

“Hey now, don’t you mention it,” Johnny grinned as he leaned to give her a more bright kiss on her lips with a smirk, “We’ve been neglecting group bonding time haven’t we? Gotta give our beautiful girl what she wants once in a while for putting up with our bullshit ins and outs.”

Alexys laughed at the way he put it, and Kuai rolled his eyes as he gazed around the sky of the forest with a frown. “He’s late.” Is all he noted towards Raiden’s lack of appearance.

As if on cue, the ground shook as lightning struck the ground just before all of them, making them jump in surprise as Raiden’s form appeared in the center of the scorched earth he had left in his wake. Standing straight, the Thunder God cleared his throat and smile when Alexys called out his name, the tone excited as she all but threw herself around his neck and hugged him tight. He returned the hug with a laugh, while Kuai brushed off some debris from his casual outfit and glared, a mutter of ‘did he WAIT until I said that?’ echoing from his lips that made Johnny bark out a sharp laugh of amusement in return, slapping his friend on the shoulder playfully.

“I apologize for my tardiness,” Raiden murmured after sharing a kiss with Alexys, “Some organization at the temple took longer than expected, but I rushed here right after we had completed it.”

“You’re here now,” Alexys noted with another hug to her boyfriend, “That’s all that matters.”

Raiden sighed, apparently relieved that the answer was forgiveness, and then acknowledged both Johnny and Kuai with a nod of his head. Johnny gave a casual, lopsided grin and a wave while Kuai gave a sharp nod of his head in simple acknowledgement, still not too pleased about the sudden appearance after his words.

“Well,” Johnny hummed with a clap of his hands, “We’re all here now aren’t we? It’s time to head to the campsite!”

“We must hurry,” Kuai agreed, “Before it gets too dark. Animals are hungry at night.”

“For us!?” Johnny gasped.

“For our prepackaged FOOD,” Kuai corrected with emphasis, causing Alexys to laugh as the four began meandering through the woodlands together.

They walked through the woods, the hike decent but pleasurable as they gazed around the forest together. The trees towered over all of them, making even Raiden feel small in the presence of nature. Birds chirped with delight against the sky as they flitted about the branches of their home and the moss was cool under their moving feet as they walked through the otherwise warming temperatures. Alexys couldn’t help but sneak looks of her boyfriends, admiring the way their muscles flexed as they moved and the sweat that fell slickly off of them as they exerted the effort of hiking with her. Johnny wiped at his brow with the back of his hand at some point, his smile genuine in enjoyment as he made a joke Kuai tried hard to ignore. Raiden seemed to find it funny, though, as the slightest smiles stretched against his aging face. She blushed at the sight of them all. The fact that they were all with her overwhelmed her beyond anything she’s ever experienced.

Her mind was brought back into the semblances of reality as she felt her body ram itself into something hard. The tree before her scratched at the bits of her exposed skin as she collided with it, causing her to queak and fall backwards with a gasp of shock, parts of her body stinging with the sudden collision.

All three of her boyfriends were on her in an instant, hands reaching out to gently touch at her own as they gazed on in surprise.

“Are you alright, babe?” Johnny questioned, his fingertips brushing along her jawline to push some of her hair behind her face, casually removing a twig from the brown locks, “You went at that tree like it stole your life savings.”

“You’re not overheated are you?” Kuai murmured his concerns as he touched her arm, feeling how warm it was against his normally cool temperature and tilting his head. Raiden said nothing for a while as he felt the part of her leg that had run itself into the tree, assessing the damage with contemplation as Alexys blushed in surprise at all of the hands so suddenly against her sensitive form at once.

“I-I’m fine! All of you, seriously,” She huffed with redness to her cheeks, “I’m not gonna break just because I ran into a tree…”

“I know we’re distractingly hot,” Johnny teased with a smirk, “But you gotta be careful okay?”

The sputtering of her next phrase confirmed his suspicions, making him laugh and kiss her forehead before all of them helped her up. Once up and recovered, the group continued to make their way through the forest, appreciating all of the small things as they did so.

Their hike had brought them to the campsite, a comfortable area against the edge of a babbling river just calm enough not to pose a threat with fearsome rapids and angry waterfalls. Johnny’s eyes lit up at the sight of it, his body tensing. As if reading his mind, Kuai’s eyes widened with terror.

“No,” Kuai warned immediately, “You will not-HEY.”

Johnny was gone though, his backpack and important items shed as he ran. Alexys’ eyes widened as he took a flying leap into the water, diving into it and sending a light sprinkle splashing all of them as he made contact. When he surfaced against the water, he waved at them with his classic, shit-eating grin.

“Nothing feels better than a dip after a long walk in the woods, come on!”

“Absolutely not.” Kuai wrinkled his nose with moderate annoyance, “We have unpacking to do, and we must set up this camp before nightfall, so-!”

He sputtered when he felt Alexys shove him with a laugh, bringing them both forward to the edge of the water, where they fell in with a gargled amalgamation of screams and splashes.  Raiden was the last one left on shore, blinking in shock as he stared down at the three in the water. Kuai had surfaced with Alexys, his eyes wide with shock and confusion as he looked over at her. Her hair dripped against her face, clothes sticking to her wet body as she gazed down at the man she had taken with her. The glint in her eye was unmistakably amused as Johnny laughed somewhere in the distance.

“You looked like you needed to...COOL OFF.” Alexys joked with her ice-wielding boyfriend, earning a playful huff and a splash of water at her face from his free hand as they both sat up in the ankle deep part of the river. They all looked back at Raiden, who had patiently begun setting up all the items necessary for the night in their moment of enjoyment. Johnny crawled out from the more waist-deep waters and shook his head, slicking his hair back with one hand while he pat Kuai’s shoulders, earning him a splash of slightly more frigid than normal water.

Soon all were out of their soaking clothes, hanging them over a nearby branch to dry while they slid into their packed change of warmer, more comfortable ones. Alexys snuggled between Johnny and Raiden, Kuai off to the side as he mixed herbs he had brought along the way for some tea. The sun was beginning to set over the horizon of the visible sky through the trees, making the air more crisp and clean than it was before.

There was silence. A comfortable chill of wordlessness between the four as they enjoyed the warmth of the crackling fire before them. It was the perfect night with all of her boyfriends. Alexys felt the throngs of her hard work build itself up as pride in her chest as she reached around Johnny’s arm to hug him, sighing as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank-you all...for doing this with me. I know it was silly and took some time but...It’s the happiest I’ve been in a while.” She grinned at them. The boy’s felt their faces heat up with blushes of awe at just how cute the girl before them was. There was momentary regret from not doing it with her sooner, but, more passion at the thought of her enjoyment fueled each of them.

Kisses were shared, words of praise were echoed, and soon silence fell again, nothing but the group of them comfortably amongst one another and the nature surrounding them was left.

And it was perfect.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

The Gift

WARNINGS: almost suicide mention (it’s faked and she doesn’t actually die or get injured from it), slight non-con, dub-con mention (past sexual assault is briefly talked about), depression, obsessive behaviour, angst, (not a tragic ending but not a very happy one I don’t think…)

Summary and Disclaimer: Okay, I haven’t had the chance to actually read any of the comics and my knowledge about these characters come from the wiki and of course these tumblrs :P I wanted to write a semi-continuation of the Yandere!Deadlock/Drift head canons which are so beautifully done and so inspiring.

Basically what you need to know is that this is an AU type of situation (based on my limited knowledge of the timelines) where Deadlock only recently became Drift again (within a human lifetime, I think is what I’m aiming for), but as a Decepticon, he had taken a bunch of humans prisoner aboard of ship with other Decepticons. He grows really attached and yandere-like to one human in particular and then after her apparent suicide, he defects. Fast forward a couple of years and he is on the LL with everyone else and is more or less accepted as Drift. But on board there are a group of humans who are sort of helping out/doing their own mission. They call on someone with a vast knowledge of alien flora and it turns out to be the supposedly dead obsession of Deadlock. And heavy angst ensues as Drift is forced to confront some of his most shocking and disgusting crimes as Deadlock. 

…

It wouldn’t make things right. Nothing could make this right, but he still wanted to try. No, he needed to try. Some masochistic part of him craved something of a reaction from her. Maybe, for closure, he reasoned. Or maybe, he was craving her attention again. He never seemed to get enough of that.

The former ‘con managed to find her alone. It wasn’t hard after he memorized her basic schedule and the common routes she took to get to places. 

He stepped in front of her. Predictably, she froze and then stared at him with those cautious eyes. 

“I have something for you.” He put down a box on the floor between them. 

She looked at it briefly and then back up to him.

Drift nudged the box closer to her. She began to walk backwards, eyes dodging around and looking for an exit. Quietly, he took a step away. “If you wish to leave, you m-”

She didn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence before she took off running down the hall. A stab of agony went through him. 

A part of him was furious with her, the old, possessive part that risked his reputation and status as a Decepticon. And a large part of him felt as though he was punched straight through his chassis. He deserved this- hell, he deserved more than this. He remembered every bruise, every word, every invasive touch- he remembered. 

Why would she accept a gift from him when the gifts he used to give her were laced with such heavy expectation? He used to buy her things that he thought she would like for so many reasons. The liar part of him reasoned that it was a sadistic form of torture- to make her feel like she was his object. To control her outward appearance was his way of claiming further ownership over her. 

But the real reason he bought them was far more fucked up. Deadlock wanted to have something of hers that she could only give willingly. He wanted her to voluntarily come to him, to join him while he slept, to smile at him with genuine kindness and to ask him about his day- how he was doing, all of these sickening things. He wanted to share his glories with her, to have her eyes shine with approval and admiration. Rather than seeing her wince when he talked about the success of his missions.

It was so easy to disturb her, and to see her tear up. That got old fast. And maybe that was why he had craved something else from her. 

For the most part, he had pretended not to notice her general disapproval and her glaring unhappiness. But he couldn’t ignore the fear and disappointment in her eyes when he returned to their- no, to his habsuite. “Did you miss me, pet?”

One time, she rolled her eyes and he got so mad. That was the time he starved her for three days. 

No food, just water. 

Back in the present, Drift stared at the elegantly wrapped box. It was supposed to be a peace offering. He plucked it up and on his way back to his room, he crushed the box with his servos. There could be no peace between them. He had done too much to her and as much as he wanted to have her securely in his grasp again, to hold her close to him- it was wrong. She would never want him. Ever.

The only moment he though she did was when- well, it was before she left. She figured out what he had wanted (what he still wanted). Really, it was only a matter of time. Drift tried to remember exactly what it was that set it off. 

Maybe, it was when he walked in and heard her sobbing. Not quietly either. She had been sobbing so loudly. It was a heartbreaking sound, and one that filled him with immediate concern and anger. Did someone hurt her? Was she in pain? 

He rushed across his habsuite and threw aside the coverings on her cage. “I’m here, I’m here,” He murmured to her. “What is it? What happened?” He had never heard the human sob like that before. It was so distressing.

A quick scan revealed that she had sustained no further damage from when he saw her last. Her ribs were bruised, yes, but those would heal given time. She was okay. 

Well, she was upset but she wasn’t hurt. Deadlock wasn’t sure what to do. On the one hand, he could have shouted at her and told her to stop, but on the other hand he was overcome with the insistent urge to draw her in close, to hold her and to have her in his arms. How come she had never done this before? What did it all mean? He held her close to him and made shushing noises.

She quieted and her breathing evened out.

After that, she began to do exactly what he wanted her to do. It was like she read his mind, saw into his guiltiest fantasies and accepted them, and accepted him. He hated to admit it, but seeing her slow smile got him through some of his tougher days. He could always look forward to coming into his habsuite and seeing her, talking to her, and holding her.

He got low at some points and made some pretty serious declarations, stroking her small body and promising that he would never allow anyone to hurt her. She needed him and she knew it. 

It was even more pathetic later on when he realized it was all an act. She played him so well and got him to deliver her means of salvation without even realizing it. A few plants, to liven up the place. Glass vials and a chemist’s station to occupy her time since she ‘always wanted to be a biologist.’ Oh, which planet was the ship docking on? One with an oxygen rich atmosphere and a few high tech colonies? She couldn’t see it, that’s okay. If he could just talk to her about it, that would be great. He was such an idiot. 

A fool in love. 

Finally someone accepted him, for all of his flaws and all of his confusion. They could see past that and they accepted him. It filled a hole that he never realized was there. It got him by and it made his life, all in all, better. 

It was a fragging lie. All of it.

Deadlock had been enraged when he discovered the means of apparent death. 

Suicide.

Drift remembered how he could have stared at her body for much longer than he did. He just held it instead and swiftly deposited on the planet that she had been so keen on seeing. Well, now she got to see it and be on it. He brought all of her stuff as well, as a little shrine to keep her company. He didn’t want to abandon her body but practical considerations had to be kept in mind. 

There was no time for a burial and a fire would draw too much attention. He left her on a rock formation, in front of a large body of water. A beautiful tomb for someone as beautiful as she was. 

And even that was a lie.

Drift nearly had a spark attack when he saw her. Actually, he thought that he was seeing a ghost.

“Getting her to work with us isn’t going to be easy, especially considering that Megatron is on board, but we need all the help we can get.” The human liaisons were recruiting people with interplanetary expertise, and she was one of them.

“Megatron destroy her home?” Someone guessed rather bluntly in the din of the meeting room. 

“She was held prisoner and tortured for seven months aboard one of his vessels.”

“How did she escape?” Another ‘bot asked.

Drift was frozen, staring at her image. 

The human’s expression changed from grim to one of astonishment. “It’s incredible, actually. She managed to get a hold of some alien flora and made this poison that slowed her heart down to near death. I guess the ‘cons were sentimental because they dropped a bunch of human stuff around her body when they got rid of her, and she used that to trade for some equipment and to call for help. The rest is history.”

She was alive. A part of him died when she died, and now she was alive.

And- oh Primus. He thought that the guilt was bad when she was dead, but now that she was back- oh no.

It was so much worse. 

..

Then, she was on board along with her Merry Men, as she liked to call the team of humans. Drift didn’t tell anyone. He couldn’t. Physically, it seemed he was unable to speak about her. He watched from the shadows, not daring to make his presence known.

One day, she caught him. 

Drift expected a lot of things as she opened up the supply closet to retrieve some more equipment. He expected her to scream, to start yelling, crying, or maybe to even run and call for help. Instead, she stared up at him with a calm expression. Her mouth was almost twisted into a smirk as she got what she needed and walked away.

Deadlock hated to be ignored. Drift had no choice. 

She knew that he was on board then, and worse, she recognized him. Why would she come on board if she knew he was there? Did she have no sense of self-preservation-? She faked her own death and risked actual death to get away from him. 

No. She had no sense of self-preservation left. That was gone a long time ago. 

The more she ignored his presence, the more obvious it got. That made things worse. Her role was of the utmost importance and Drift was an asset to have on field missions where stray Decepticons were involved. 

It was one thing when she refused to speak to him on the Lost Light, but it was another thing to have her ignore him during dangerous jaunts out onto alien planets. She refused to get into his alt mode to get back to the ship, making the humans have to change their partners mid mission. 

Everyone was irritated.

“This needs to stop, you can’t keep this up. It’s bad for morale.” One of the humans- her superior- scolded her. None of them knew. She kept it that way. 

The other human tried for a more diplomatic approach, “This planet is dangerous, these weapons are dangerous,” They gestured to the precarious load on the mech that had held all of the humans originally. “You can’t keep ignoring him.” They told her in a quieter tone, gesturing to the ex-con subtly.

She blinked as her expression morphed into one of surprise. “Oh man, you can see him too?”

Her superior snapped, “I am serious! You need to stop this behaviour at once, and step into his alt form, that is a command.”

“I would literally rather die.” She said losing her smirk.

That hurt Drift on so many levels and in so many ways. He understands hesitation and fear. He understands anger and vengeance. This is vengeance. 

“I get that you don’t like Decepticons. I don’t like them either. They destroyed my university, but you can’t go treating every former ‘con like the one who-”

One of the humans grabbed the officer. “Stop it.”

“What do you think you are doing?”

“We’ll find another way. Just. Stop. Talking.”

It wasn’t until they were back on the ship that the proverbial cat was let out of the bag. Drift wasn’t sure who figured it out or how.

Word of what she had said got around and people quickly put two and two together. She had preferred to die over being his pet. It was no question as to why. Even if the crew hadn’t seen her scars along her body- raking down her back and up between her thighs- they would have sympathized. He was recruited personally by Megatron for a reason. Deadlock was and always will be terrifying.

The marks on her body were made visible when she wore shorts or skirts. She had no qualms about showing them either, but any Cybertronian who saw them noted the possessive nature and significance of them. One liked to stroke cute things. One liked to mark things that they owned. 

They knew that she was claimed by someone awful- someone who was cruel and unusual. Someone who tortured her and as far as they could guess- it was in some very intimate ways. Bite marks on her shoulder were impossible to hide at the best of times and their size and shape gave a clue to their origin.  Whatever ‘con did this made a very public claim on her body. 

When they found out it was Deadlock who did this, there was a great outcry on the ship and the human in their eyes became something of a celebrity. She had been forced to stare at and work together with her abuser for months now. It was ludicrous for her to be expected to entrust her safety to the one who left scars all over her body, save for her face which had been left unmarred. It was easy to see why; she was a pretty little thing. 

Risking certain death to get away from the ‘con was sensible, even.

One of the Autobots said to him in a particularly nasty tone, “Good job, Decepticon. Do you even remember her?”

“Everyday.” He managed to admit when he managed the process of intaking air. 

Rung had been made aware of the troubling situation and was called in to try to soothe the boiling tensions. “It would be advisable to prevent further contact between the two.”

…

Her other form of vengeance started to show itself as the situation got more and more dangerous. She became as reckless as possible. It wasn’t hard given the perilous nature of her job; going down to alien planets, hunting mythical flora and other things to help the LL along with their given quest. 

To some, it seemed that she was showing that she wasn’t a coward despite the ‘easy way out’ she took. They were concerned that she would think that they would judge her for such an action. 

But the truth was only known to Drift. He had claimed her. He had gotten close to her and he got possessive. Only he could inflict any pain on her. And when she became his sole comfort- playing into his developing desires and dependence on her- he became even more possessive. Nothing and no one would hurt her.

He told her that time and time again. Deadlock whispered to her how he would destroy anyone who came near her, about how he would protect her because he always protects what is his. Then, he told her how much he loved her. She had begun to cry in his grip but she was smiling.

He thought that she loved him too. 

He thought that maybe Primus was smiling down on him and giving him a fragging break for once. He said that he would never let her go and that he would always keep her safe. 

That was not the intended plan.

Now, she actively threw herself into danger every chance she got, or so it seemed. Drift hated it. It claws at him. She had to know that this recklessness just made him want to scoop her up in his servos and hold her close to him and never, ever let her go. But, he can’t do that now, and she knew it.  After nearly killing herself by going into an insecure airlock, with only a thin piece of rope around her to save some random piece of equipment from being blasted into space, Drift’s expression mirrored everyone else’s. Shock and outrage. Why was she doing this? 

The smug look she gave Drift told him why. 

You can’t touch me.

________________________

Wow. WOW. I really enjoyed reading this one, it kept me on edge the entire time! I love how you made Drift still want her but he’s aware that she will never want him and he accepts that. It’s both heartbreaking and genius. And the way you wrote the reader, how she is full of spite and in need of revenge, it feels very believable and I enjoyed it that the victim finally got their revenge, even if by dangerous means. You did such a great job on this one and I hope you write even more. I look forward to reading whatever you send to me!

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[kenrik]

Conflicted - that was what I felt after my first viewing of TLJ.

My journey from “???” to “WTF!!”. Comparing my insight from my first viewing of TLJ to my second. 

1. I am Reylo shit. But after watching TLJ, I couldn’t process what I’d just seen. I felt like there was nothing bridging the gap from “You’re a monster!” to “Let’s work together, Ben Solo~” So, I thought, initially, that their relationship was poorly constructed. And, I felt conflicted because - although I would love Reylo to happen, I didn’t want it to happen in a mucked up sort of way. 

2. The first scene - the bombing scene. I couldn’t understand it. Where the hell did those vessels come from? Who the hell was that woman. And why the hell do we care about the medallion around her neck? Just - who the faq? 

3. Poe is an idiot. A dolt. A trigger happy fool. (A stark contrast to his soundness from TFA.)

4. Then, after the first scene - I guess everything happened and my brain went haywire - thinking - W.T.F.????!!!??? My brain proceeded to shutdown afterwards, I think. And just let the images pass. 

5. Holdo’s sacrifice was very cliche. Best sacrifice scene for me was Lelouch’s. Going back to it, I guess anime’s sacrificial themes make western ones pale in comparison. Anyway, I didn’t appreciate this scene so much - even with the spectacular cinematography - because it was what it is - cliche. Also, there would be zero casualties other than herself. I mean, as far as logic went - anyone with half a brain would’ve done what she did. “It’s only logical.” lol

6. Too many jokes. Hux became a punchline which I found annoying. I felt it was forced (lol). Also, the recurring about Poe being trigger happy - wanting to bomb everything in sight. That was just, very cringeworthy. (And I understand why they did it, though. Curse you Marvel! And your many jokes! DAMN-IT.) 

7. Luke’s snarkiness. Maybe I need a refresher course on his character. Last we saw him, he’s been battling with incredible shit as a kid. Then now, we jump to his old master type guy who smirks a lot... BRIDGE. THE. GAP. 

8. Kylo Ren - the GIGANTIC. PAIN IN THE ASS. CRYBABY. One of the reasons I left the movie house utterly conflicted was this character. When I though he had progressed (somewhat) - he goes reverse psycho mode and losses all his shit - and with it, all that development he made in the middle part of the film. As a Kylo Ren buff - this was incredibly frustrating to say the least.

8.5 Rey’s constant rejection of Kylo Ren. But who can blame her?? That guy’s a mess! One of the reasons I left the movie house conflicted was Kylo’s flipflopping character development. By the end - I was like - of course she’d leave you - you’re an idiot! Two rejections in one movie plus that one rejection in TFA... how many times does Rey have to reject you before you clean your act up, stupid Ren?! I felt angry and sad for Kylo, for being conflicted, lost, close to something certain, solid, then all out batshit crazy and lost and conflicted again. It was a rollercoaster for me and my rooting for Ben Solo’s character. Damn did that guy take me for a ride. 

9. Phasma v Finn scene. Phasma is an incredible baddie. I loved their fight scene. My comment is, though, - that it was minute. Ever so tiny. And her “death” was so anticlimactic - I can’t even. It was cliche. The fight could have been longer. 

10. Finn and Rose - IDIOTS. What were those two thinking sharing their plans to an absolute stranger?? And they get shocked that the thief sold them out the first chance he got. Seriously - their whole subplot was like stepping on dogshit. I get the message the team wanted to bring across. But seriously, that same message could’ve been said with a better subplot. There was no answer as to who the man with the rose pin was - no recall to the past story, to any story in SW. Use the old characters for some substance! We have so many more of them at the team’s disposal. :/ 

Cookies (Parts I loved since the first viewing.)

1. Leia is kween. That force stunt she pulled was epic. It was incredible. I can’t even. (Proves to show you how strong she is with the force - and FU fanboys whining - “The force ain’t werq dat wei betch!”) 2. Luke and his liberal approach to the force. Preach!! 3. Rose’s message about weapon dealers (AKA AMERICA, RUSSIA, CHINA. H8CHU FUCKERS - fighting each other when you’re basically on the same fucking boat - HU U THINK UR FOOLING).  3.5 Rose hitting deserter Finn with a stunbaton/gun. 4. That immaculate contrast of white and red minerals.  5. BB8 DOING ALL THE WORK IN ROSE and FINN’S ARC. I mean - GIVE THE DAMN DROID/ROBOT AN OSCAR! 6. Rey’s druggy self-discovery scene. That was just crazy good.  7. The bitchy fish nuns.  8. Chewie roasting porgs while porgs watch in tearful horror.  9. Luke’s leap from one hill to the next.  10. Ben’s slide/glide when he first talks to Rey via force bond. 10.25 Rey’s incessant bitching to Ren via force bond about how Ben is a monster. How she beat him. How she found Luke before him. How she beat him. How he’s a loser. How he’s an idiot. How she hates him. (During that scene, I just can’t help but laugh at her intense lashing out at him HAHA) 10.5 Rey shooting Ren the first opportunity she got.  10.75 Ren standing in the bridge? looking at the platform thing? And Ren being all savage and unforgiving and shooting the fighter planes of the resistance.  11. Snoke’s labyrinth scene!!!!*#*#JMNFUWNF!!!*@(#*$ 12. Epic Yoda is epic. I watched the film with my blockmates, impromptu right after our last finals exam. His quote "Failure is the best teacher.” literally made us ball out in tears. DAMN IT. Yoda got us again! “Do or do not, there is no try.” is so good it’s unfair.  13. Kylo ren practically throwing a tantrum when he faced his uncle Luke.  14. “You came from nothing.You are nothing... But not to me.” 15. Luke’s deep backwards dip in his face off with his nephew Ben.  16. Hux’s screaming repeat of Ben’s order to proceed, earning a “dafuq” look from Kylo.  17!!! Kylo Ren and Anakin = obvious blatant parallels! The hair, the attire, the anger in their expressions! 

My SECOND VIEWING gave me clarity. So, here is my feedback after not having been taken by a shitload of surprise.  1. The scenes had okay pacing. Just unnoticeable because a lot was shoved to our face in less than three hours.  2. Finn/Rose subplot was meh, not exactly the worst thing in the world. And, it makes sense that they get that type of subplot. Rose was a low-ranking member, delegated to catching deserters. Finn knows next to nothing about the Resistance. And Poe is a loose canon. Of course the quest they’d end up in is only as good as what their character’s can make up. This is very realistic actually.  3. It’s a kid’s movie. Of course it would be riddled with cliches.  4. Vulnerability - that’s what bridged the gap between Rey and Ren.  5. Captain Phasma is coming back! *hopefully* She deserves a better send off!  6. Kylo Ren’s character development. I was devastated after my first viewing. I thought he had regressed to the point of no return. Man, I was so ready to throw all my Reylo hopes away because dammit if an idiot ends up with Rey. But, I failed to appreciate that last scene between them properly. 

Ren is kneeling, head bowing low in remorse.  And Rey were eyes hard and unforgiving, her expression, swelling in disappointment of him.  Wow. That said a lot. This is a huge step. After Rey left him (wow it’s like leaving a lover after having had sex), Ren just catapults himself into a raging fit. How could he not? How could he not lose all of his shit after having LOST ALL HIS SHIT. HAHA (Shit is such a good placeholder for the dumb.) I mean - he just killed his Supreme Leader. He offered his heart out to Rey - to this stranger. For once in his life, nothing had been clearer to him - he wanted to join forces with Rey. Forget everyone else. So long as she joined him, nothing would ever be unattainable. But she rejected him. And then - he lost all his shit. He was so certain for once - that Rey would join him. That she saw the same future he saw of her, of them, standing together towards the same goal.  With her rejection - he was thrown back to confusion. To that irrational conflict he could never make sense of. Everything that happened after was an intense blur that he could do nothing more but work in automatic mode. And his automatic mode is work like a bitch baby. Imagine this - everything happened so fast after than one moment of clarity - The resistance found a safe haven. The Millennium Falcon was shooting at them. And that one person he’s been searching for all his life resurfaces out of thin air. All the lies that Snoke told him, all the hatred that scum put in his mind, just exploded. 

Everything happened so quickly. He had no second to think straight. He went to what was natural - what Snoke taught him.  Which is why~ that moment of realization at the end, of regret, remorse, guilt - towards Rey, towards this person who seemed to genuinely believe in him - is so important. It makes me believe that he’ll be thinking of his actions more rationally. And this makes me happy for my favorite character. 

A lot have said this, but I think a year or a few will pass in the timeline before we rejoin the characters. We’ve seen their conflict. Now, we’ll see them in their fullest form - allowing for the ultimate battle. This, I’m really excited for. And I give zero fucks whether or not Kylo will be good or bad. I just want him to know who he is and what he is fighting for. And for the briefest moment, we saw it in TLJ - the death of the past - of the Republic and of the Jedi Order - and hopefully of the ashes of the Empire - the First Order. 

TLJ was a really good film. I can’t say it was a really good SW film, but it was an incredible film. You haters need to get your shit together and progress with everyone else. Also, I hate you all for crying Mary Sue on Rey. We women had to deal with countless Mary Sue men in our blockbusters. Now we have one of our own, you’re bitch crying at Disney. FU. 

Stay calm. Stay chill.  KenRik. 

[margarethelstone]

It’s way too early for that

So, here’s another Hiccstrid story I’ve managed to create. Rather sweet and teasing, canon based.

I’d like to dedicate this story to @wilderwestqueen, as a little thank-you for her sharing her incredible talent with us :)

fanfiction.net

She was roused by the sun and the screeching of Terrible Terrors singing from the rooftop.

The female Viking extended her arms behind her head, stretching leisurely, exactly like she would do on any other day. She rubbed her sleepy eyes; although there was nothing she wanted less than to leave the comfortable bed, which itself seemed to be persuading her to stay in for a little bit longer, she knew she couldn't succumb to those imaginary whispers.

No matter how much she desired to avoid the meeting she’d promised to conduct, she wasn’t going to let her laziness win over her natural sense of duty. Astrid Hofferson would not be late.

Astrid Haddock wouldn’t either.

She turned her head, expecting to see her sleeping husband, peacefully breathing through his parted lips. To her surprise, it appeared the man wasn't there at all. She frowned, dissatisfied. Hiccup never got up first.

Only then did she noticed the soft pressure put on her own belly. She raised her eyebrows and smiled piteously as her mind had been lightened by a few potential explanations of that state. As gently as she could, she lifted the edge of the blanket that was covering her and she peeked under it.

Of course, her intuition was right; arrayed in the most unnatural position, the young Chief of Berk was lying by her side, with his head rested exactly at the level of her stomach. Initially, she was sure he was asleep – it wouldn’t be the first time when, after the night spent on tossing in his sheets under the influence of the old nightmares, Hiccup would find solace in her presence, embracing her petite silhouette, and snuggling onto it. Besides, the way in which he was lying made it impossible to see his face, only showing the thick locks on the back of his head; and those weren’t easy to spot either, as their covering was still separating him from the daylight.

Astrid understood her mistake almost immediately. As soon as she raised the blanket, her husband’s steady breathing stopped, expectantly. It returned to its normal pace right away, sounding exactly the same as before – but the blonde woman knew, that it was nothing more than a window dressing. Her smile widened, and her eyebrows went even higher.

“What on Thor’s name are you doing?”

She was responded by silence, slightly disturbed by the regular inhaling of the accompanying Viking. She rolled her eyes, and very slowly, she slipped her fingers in his hair.

“I’m sorry, Babe, but you’re a terrible liar.” She threw in, jokingly, playing with the tangled strands. “Stop playing dumb and answer my question.”

He mumbled something under his breath, making sure Astrid wouldn’t understand the meaning. She snorted.

“Alright, this is it. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, your wife demands your attention, and she orders you to turn that oversized head of yours towards her. Now.”

The Chief groaned miserably, but he obeyed. Leaning on his elbows, he managed to turn his face in her direction – and to lay it on her waist again.

“Hiccup, that’s not what I meant.”

“Shhh.” He interrupted. “I’m listening.”

“You’re what…?” Astrid pulled the blanket a few inches higher, staring at the man in disbelief.

“Listening. Stop talking, you’re distracting me.”

“I'm distracting...” she stammered incrediously. “Now you’ve got to be kidding me. What can you be listening to down there?”

“Quiet. I felt a kick, I’m waiting for another one.”

Astrid’s astonishment reached the top after she’d realised what her beloved was actually doing. She blinked repeatedly, not knowing how to respond – only to burst into loud, sonorous laugh in the very next moment. The cloak which she had loosed, heavily fell down on her husband’s face.

“You mutton head, it’s way too early for that.” She remarked, unable to hold the giggling. “You must’ve been dreaming.”

“I know what I felt.” The offended answer came from below the thick material, effectively muffled by it.

“Or you felt what you wanted to feel. Instead of being stubborn again, you’d better get out from below that blanket and lie in a normal position. I know it may be shocking, but I’d prefer to have you next to me.”

Hiccup relaxed notably, undoubtedly content of her declaration. Astrid felt a gentle kiss pressed against her waist. She shook her head, amused.

“But I am next to you. To both of you.”

His voice was a lot softer now; there was a kind of languor in it, the feature that had appeared in his tone more and more often recently, independently from the news she’d shared with him just a day earlier. The warrior couldn’t deny that she liked being addressed in this manner – and she certainly wouldn’t say that his words had made no impression on her. However, as much as she loved his dorky-romantic answers, she wasn’t at all intending to undergo their charm.

Without much thinking, she grabbed the blanket’s edge once more and threw it off with a sudden move. Hiccup’s reaction was exactly what she hoped it to be.

“Arghh!” The Chief exclaimed, thrusting his face into her shirt. “Why is it always violence with you?”

“Nothing else seems to work.”

“But it’s cold! And the sun is blinding me!”

“Oh, you poor little thing.” She teased and sighed. “Do we really have to go through the same scenario every single morning?”

“All would be well, if you didn’t get up so awfully early.”

“All would be well, if you didn’t go to sleep so awfully late. Stop the sulking and come here. I want to see you properly at last.”

Hiccup murmured and reluctantly, he got up to his knees. In the same way as his wife had done before, he rubbed his closed eyes and then raised his eyelids, immediately fixing his gaze on the woman lying by his side. He smiled weakly.

Astrid gave him a dreadfully sceptical glare.

“Have you slept at all tonight?” She asked, carefully examining the bags under his eyes.

“Thank you, my love, you’re looking great, too.” Answered the Viking, laughing. “I didn’t get a wink. Did you really think I would?”

And, ignoring another of the girl’s snorts, he shifted towards the bedhead; then, he plunged on his back, as near to Astrid, as possible. He reached out his arm, inviting her to move even closer. She picked up his offer without hesitation, resting her cheek on his chest and covering them with the blanket she’d pulled away a moment earlier. Finally, everything was just how it should always be.

“I definitely prefer sharing the bed with you in this way.” She murmured, quietly.

“Does it really make a difference?”

“Let’s just say I got used to the thought that our heads are more or less at the same level.”

“Well, that would be a great argument, unless I weren’t taller than you.”

“I said more or less.”

“Still, that’s not very convincing.”

“Tough luck.”

“Oh, and by the way, my head isn’t oversized, thank you very much.”

“Your hair is, so it works out the same.”

“Ha, ha. Still doing that one?” Using his free arm, he tickled her mildly, joyfully noticing that his wife’s reaction for the gesture was as intense, as every other time. She found his hand at once and squeezed her thin, yet strong fingers on it. She frowned.

“Stop it. You know how I hate that.” She opposed, and wriggled her neck in a way that allowed her to look at him. “You really haven’t slept? Not even for a while?”

“No. But what is one night compared to everything we’ve been doing so far? It wasn’t the first, and certainly won’t be the last one. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I thought you were happy.”

“For Odin’s sake, Astrid, of course I’m happy. But have you ever heard that people have problems sleeping, because they’re too excited for something? Because they’re too happy to fall asleep? I spent the whole night imagining things, not able to focus on anything that wouldn’t be connected to you… to us. All of us. It’s impossible to just doze off in a situation like this. Plus-” He chuckled nervously. “I won’t lie, no matter how I love that ‘parenting idea’, I’m pretty much terrified.”

“You too?” Astrid smiled feebly.

“Absolutely. I guess I’ll need the help of all the known and unknown gods out there if don’t want to fail completely. But, for now… I’d rather focus on the more pleasant part.” He bent his head and kissed her hair. “The truth is, it has only been a night and I’m already unable to imagine our life changed to what it was before.”

“I’m glad you think so. And... it’s good to know I’m not the only one who’s afraid.”

Not giving Hiccup a chance to respond, she tightened her grasp on him, burying her forehead in his neck. She groaned when she remembered their talk would have to end – and how soon it would be.

“I don’t want to go there.” She mumbled wearily. “I don’t want that meeting. I’m good where I am.”

“Hey, did I just hear Astrid Hofferson trying to shirk from her duties?”

“You heard Astrid Haddock putting a morning with you above the endless skirmishes with the Council, who will – as always – find hundreds of reasons to decline my ideas, never mind how good they are. But you’re right, I shouldn’t be doing that. Thanks for reminding me of my priorities.”

As she had said that, she got up and smoothly turned to the edge of the massive furniture, ready to leave it at the same moment. Having this done, though, she felt the strong arms enfolding her from behind, making it impossible to follow her plan. Leaning backwards, she met resistance in the shape of Hiccup’s torso.

“It doesn’t mean you’re supposed to jump off the bed like that.” The man stated firmly. “It’s still terribly early, the sun has just risen.”

“Exactly. That means I have no more than half an hour left before everyone shows up in the Hall. I’m rather short of time, if you think about it.”

“Are you kidding me? Who would be meeting the Council at such an hour?”

“Let me guess… I would?” She turned her head and pecked him on the cheek. “That’s what I usually do.”

“You’re insane. It’s like assassinating your own common sense.”

“Well, it’s all your fault. I simply assumed you’d be sleeping at this time and I’d be free to sneak out, noticed by no one. Seriously, it’s impossible to get up when we’re both awake.”

“I wonder why.” He whispered right in her ear, just to kiss it at a following moment, not loosening his embrace a bit. He kissed her cheek, her jaw, her neck. Astrid winced, feeling the itchiness on the delicate skin, but she didn’t protest. However, as soon as Hiccup’s mouth touched her chin, clearly aiming for her own lips, she moved away gently.

“I really must go. I can’t hope the Council will excuse my lateness if I give them such a poor explanation.”

“I’m sure they’ll be understanding. I’ll order them to be.”

“It doesn’t work like this.” She sighed, leaning on him. Hiccup’s hands found their way to her waist again. She covered them with her own immediately, resting her fingers of his rough skin. “Oh, not again. The ‘dad mode’ needs to wait.”

“As if I could turn it off.  I’m sorry, M’lady, it means too much for me to put it aside just like that.”

The warrior rolled her eyes.

“Aha. Here we go.”

“What do you mean?”

“You care. Before I know it, you’ll make me promise that I won't lift, train or even fly Stormfly. Now for your information, I have my own mind, and that’s why I’m going to ignore all of your bans. Just so you know.”

Hiccup frowned, not fully understanding the girl’s accusation. He shook his head in negative and, most seriously, he answered. “I would never dare to do so. I mean, I will obviously worry about you, just as I have until now – the only difference being that I’ll worry about two people instead of one. But I can’t imagine imposing any kind of bans on you, mostly because you wouldn’t follow my orders anyway.” He added more casually. He remained silent for a while, giving her time to interpret the news, simultaneously resting his head on her shoulder. “I just don’t want you to run away already.”

She seemed surprised by his little speech. She’d been ready for a fight, a dispute, ready to defend her statement; convinced, that she’d be forced to take part in a serious discussion, she’d had more than one argument prepared on her side. Yet, she was met by the trustful understanding. Again, she dipped her hand in the Viking’s dark, thick hair, smiling a lot softer that she’d used to do.

“I… Thank you, Hiccup. But, either way, I need to go. And you must let me do it.”

“And there’s no chance you’d change your mind?”

“Look, we still have a village to look after. Please allow me to remind you who’s the Chief on this island – and who’s their General. This is our job, Babe.”

“I am no Chief. And you are no General,” he protested. “Not as long as we’re both in bed.”

Astrid’s eyes flickered when the solution of their problem crossed her mind. Since Hiccup’s clasp had loosed significantly, she slipped out of his embrace and jumped onto the floor, not bothering to give him the slightest warning. The thick woollen covering was hauled after her.

She laughed, seeing the dumbfounded stare of the young Leader, who was gazing at her with puzzlement. Her success was total.

“General Hofferson, ready to get the job done!” She called out pluckily, as proud of herself as she could ever be. “Gods bless the Island!”

Hiccup was capable of doing nothing but sending her a disbelieving glare, while Astrid kept smiling, waiting patiently for his further reaction. He slapped his hand against his forehead and slowly shifted it all the way down to his chin; he collapsed on his back.

“Good Thor, Astrid. I truly believed it to be a serious relationship.”

She giggled, approaching him and knelt on the bed’s edge. She bent over him, pressing a light kiss on his lips – and moved back on her former place at once.

“A serious relationship?” She asked rhetorically. “With the two of us involved? That thing wouldn't live a day.”

[vicekings]

canonized

There's a new wind blowing in on the Row by the time summer hits. Shots ring out in the evening swelter, piercing Rollerz and Vice Kings alike without discrimination. A previously quiet night is now a mess of the injured, the corpses, and the flaming wreck of a yellow convertible. A tragedy. A shame. A result of hoods and thugs and junkies clashing like they always did. Like the evening news always said they did.

The evening news knew everything. The evening news could be trusted. Jane and her crisp pantsuit and pristine nails and steady reporting of increasing horrors. She would speak of everything that went on in the slums of Stilwater. Or, at least, most of it.

She didn't know of a man in stonewashed denim and a plain black shirt limping away from the scene, arms over the shoulders of his saviors and teeth gritted. No one knew about him. That was how he preferred it.

The years had taught him that very few things would adhere to his preference.

Casings and shells scattered to the wind as the evening faded into night. Whisked away on the breeze was a crumpled scrap of paper, fallen from the hand of a grieving man, never to be seen again. The social worker’s number was lost to the alleys the moment that first shot had rung out.

---

This is a different kind of therapy.

His fist connects with Johnny's throat in one swift motion, but that was hardly the hit meant to hurt. The strong kick that hits his shin is the main event. This isn't even a full tilt, won't be one, but God if he could use anything right now, it’d be that. The other Saints are stumbling off to the sidelines, scraped and strained and sore, apt to be feeling their bruises in the morning. But Johnny ain't down yet.

They think he's swinging for a slap across the face. He plays dirty instead. A few hooked fingers and a quick yank pulls Johnny’s sunglasses away from his face, would send them clattering to the ground if it weren't for the Playa’s care. He holds up the sunglasses to the sky, and Johnny's too filled with his rage at the nerve of this kid to note how “this kid” towers over him.

(Or it could be the way the world blurred when his prescription could no longer help him, though Johnny would claim the former if ever pressed- he was never.)

Sunglasses landed in Troy’s hand, shot up on pure instinct and seemingly not realizing what he held, too in shock to really consider what had happened. Only Johnny's sharp yell as he whipped around could rip him from his reverie. Johnny had turned his back. The Playa had counted on it.

He grabbed Johnny from behind, slipping an arm around his neck and yanking him backwards in a headlock. What panicked Johnny wasn't that- it was the way the Playa pinched at the junction of neck and shoulder, making him feel limp and heavy and nauseous and-

Johnny dropped. The Playa caught him again, this time supporting him instead of restraining him. He let Johnny down slowly, let him collapse and catch his breath and gather himself. There's clapping and whooping around him and fuck- how long was that? Felt like forever. Felt like-

A blurry hand offered him back his sunglasses. Johnny couldn't get them back on fast enough. He rejected the Playa’s hand and got up on his own, mustering the energy to slap the Playa on the back and congratulate him on his canonization. Of course he had to bolster it. Of course he smiled and made a cocky remark about how he did better.

Behind purple lenses, brown eyes shone with anger, confusion, and a hint of terror. And briefly before Johnny trudged back to his office, he caught the same anger shimmering in a silver gaze, cold and precise and making Johnny feel like he was staring down a monster

He didn't like the feeling.

---

They're alone in Johnny's office, and the anger fades. Johnny tries to bolster. Tries to puff up his feathers. The Playa ignores his peacocking in favor of examining his neck.

His fingers are soft against Johnny's skin, heaven against his tense muscles. The Playa is incredibly gentle as he rubs away the pain he caused there. He's being nice. Why is he being nice?

An ice pack wrapped in a soft face cloth is pressed against Johnny's neck and oh- oh that's nice. That helps. Why is he helping? Julius’ new kid should be off with the others, riding shotgun and carrying a shotgun and firing off a shotgun, not in a Lieutenant's office making him feel… well, better. Better. But off.

“I'm sorry.” The Playa mumbles, barely audible.

He pats Johnny consolingly before giving him another once over. He seems satisfied at his review. Gives a nod, a smile, and leaves without ceremony, leaving Johnny unsure and chilly.

(Though the latter could've been the ice pack.)

---

Before he can leave the church and disappear into the night, Johnny catches up to him. A hand on his shoulder, making him tense up immediately. Johnny doesn’t catch the flick of his wrist to his side. Johnny wasn’t looking for it.

“Train me.” Johnny demands, teeth gritted. “So that doesn’t happen again.”

A night of drinking shifts away into sparring in the dark. The Playa dances around Johnny with a certain sort of elegance Johnny wasn’t used to with your average street brawl. He’s dizzy and off-kilter by the fifth time he falls on his ass. He doesn't reject the offered hand this time.

“This is bullshit. How am I supposed to hear you comin’ if you don't talk?” Johnny grumbles, patting dirt off his ass. “Ain't we supposed to start of easy?”

The Playa snorts, and Johnny's fist connects with the side of his face. “You deserved that.” Johnny huffs.

The Playa puts his hands up in surrender, his silver eyes shining with mischief. He nods in agreement and slides back into his fighting stance. “I did.” He grunts, voice damn close to being completely incomprehensible.

Johnny figures that’s just who he is. Probably why he doesn’t talk much. Ignoring that, Johnny steps forward and slips the blindfold back over his eyes. When he asked for training, he’d meant without his glasses. Figured he’d at least be seeing shapes and blurs. The Playa took it to the hardest level and took that away, having carefully knotted a silk necktie around Johnny’s head, gentle and soft and careful, everything he wasn’t during their sparring.

Part of Johnny wonders if the Playa gets off on this shit.

---

“Teach me that pinch thing you did.”

Johnny asks on a Wednesday night after finally having picked up on the sounds of the Playa’s shoes scuffing against the wooden floor and the way his breathing changed when he had to dodge Johnny’s fist. He figures it’s fair. He’s hit the Playa a fair share of times now, hard enough to send him ass-backwards on the ground. It’s about time the Playa reward him for that.

He seems more amused than anything. For a moment Johnny thought the Playa would pull a ‘patience, grasshopper’ brand of dick move on him. Then the Playa just smiled and took Johnny’s hand, raising it to his neck and showing Johnny exactly where to pinch and how hard to.

It’s mere seconds before the Playa is faltering, eyes rolling back, a gasp for air escaping his throat as he slumps forward and Johnny has to catch him and- christ, he’s like a log against Johnny as he leans on him for support. He breathes in and out, in and out, in and out- deeply and slowly. Rubs at his neck to massage away that needle-esque pinch.

“Jesus.” Johnny whispers. “How long have you known how to do that?”

The question is pointless anyways. Johnny didn’t expect anymore than the shrug the Playa gives him. Johnny wonders anyways. Johnny’s been wondering a lot lately.

And the Playa, as always, is a book closed tight and bound in a hoodie that smells like smoke and hair dyed badly enough to give Johnny’s frosted tips a run for his money.  Johnny wonders why, wonders what he’s hiding from.

Johnny’ll be wondering for awhile.

[sassysweetstories]

Look At Me

Request: “Can you write an imagine where reader is in love with Stiles but she doesn't know how to confess to him, and one day Stiles and her are attacked and hurt and she ends up bitten? But she doesn't become a werewolf, but a Kanima and she knows what it means and she's afraid of herself, she doesn't want to hurt anyone especially Stiles so she hides her condition to him and later they are attacked again and she transforms to protect them and Stiles sees her ??? Plzzzz 💕” 

Ship: Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader 

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, blood, lying, yelling, etc. 

Notes: Gifs are not mine. Credit to owners. 

Your P.O.V

God, damn it, (Y/n). You had one job in life. And you still managed to fuck it up. What do you mean? You may ask. Well, I’ll tell ya. My dumb-ass decided to go and fall in love the, Stiles Stilinski. Of all the people in the world, I had to go and fall for my best friend. And not only that, the one guy who will never look at anyone other than Lydia Fucking Martin. That girl, not being me. I wanted to tell him the truth, more than anything in the world. But how? How could I confess my undenying love to my best friend?? Number one: it was crazy. Number two: he didn’t even like me back. I could go on and on. But why waste my time though? 

I turn to see Stiles follow Lydia like a lost puppy. Man, she’s got him whipped. It makes me want to barf. I roll my eyes, scoffing before I head to class. The moment I sit down, Stiles sits next to me, smiling. No matter how hard I tired, I couldn’t be mad at him for long. Frusterated, always, but not mad. Not really. I return with a small smile. A smirk, actually. He shimmy’s his shoulders, laughing. We were brilliantly terrible when we were together. We were like the Fred and George of Beacon Hills, trust me. We were tricksters, tyrants. 

“What did you do this time?” Stiles ask, excitedly. I merely smirk. It was my turn to fofill a great prank. I leaned back, whispering into his ear. “Just sit back. Watch and learn what the queen can do.” I swear I saw him shiver. He leans back, eyeing the room with anticipation. Mr. Harrison, a teacher we both despise, walks in a few minutes later, eyeing us with suspicion. They stagger slightly on Stiles and I before moving past us as he made his way to his chair. Stiles leans forward for a closer look. His eyes go wide when he sees a whoopy cushion and the school microphone by it. 

On. The second. Mr. Harrison sits down, the fart sound irrupts throughout the halls and classroom. In no time, everyone is practically on the floor laughing their asses off. Especially Stiles. He had to cover his mouth to hold his snicker. Stiles hid his face in the crook of my neck, giggling. “You are brilliant.” His hot breath on my neck, sending shivers down my spine. When he pulls away, my breath hitches at the closeness of our faces. His muscly arm wrapped around the back of my seat. Both our smiles fade. In that moment, everything was still, calm. 

I was lost in his hazel brown eyes. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his dimples, his tousled brown hair and his dorky grin. However, Mr. Harrison’s voice tore me away from our moment. “I WILL FIND OUT WHO DID THIS AND THEY WILL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!!” He rips apart the whoopy cushion like a drama queen before starting class. Though, even after the incident, I can feel Stiles’ gaze linger on me. Why? I lean forward, taking notes as my mind begun to wander with hope. Maybe he did like me? Or maybe, there was no point in hoping because his head was too far up his ass to see anyone else other than Lydia Martin. Later that night, I put my weapons in the back of Stiles’ jeep, sitting down next to him. He gripped the wheel tighter, rubbing his thumb against it in frustration. 

Stiles looks like he wants to say something but wasn’t sure how to word it. Finally, he talks lowly. “I wish you didn’t do this-” He continues. “Get involved, I mean.” I scoff, leaning back. “Why not?” He bites his lip, unsure of what to say. After a few minutes though, he spoke softly. Almost inaudible. “I don’t want you involved because I don’t want you to get hurt.. If I lost you- I’ll-” He pauses, but doesn’t continue, leaving me to fill the silence. But I don’t until we come to a stop. “You won’t lose me. C’mon, we’ve got work to do.” I say, reassuringly. 

We hop out of the car, Stiles more reluctant than I am. I cock my gun, sliding it into place as we walked through the school. All of a sudden, a loud roar came from down the hall. Scott. He’s hurt. I pull out my gun and bolt forward, not exactly in the right mindset. Stiles runs after me, calling my name. “(Y/N)! WAIT!” I don’t listen to him. As I turn the corner, I come face to face with the beast trying to choke Scott. I shoot on sight, with complete accuracy. Stiles wraps Scott’s arm around him, slipping him away form the commotion. I shoot the beast again, yelling at it, tauntingly. 

“C’MON!!” He brushes his feet against the cold tiles like a bull before barreling towards me. I run the opposite direction. I swear I could hear Stiles’ voice call out for me from behind. I ignore it, running as fast as humanly possible. My heart in my throat. I could feel my lungs burning up, screaming for some sort of release. Even though I was in unbelievable pain, I kept going. I continued to hear a small voice call out my name. Stiles’. My feet falter slightly, and before I know it, I’m thrown across the cafeteria. I hit the table with a loud thud, groaning in pain. And then I feel even more emulating at my side. 

I shoot the bastard in the head, clutching my wound as it fell to the ground, now lifeless. Glancing down at the blood, I can’t help but gasp. A bite mark. Shit. I peel myself off the floor, covering it up as best I could. After making my way out of the cafeteria, I see Scott and Stiles running towards me. Stiles wraps his massive hands around my face, full of concern as his eyes jump from different parts of my body. His voice was broken, scared. “(Y/n), are you hurt?! Don’t do that to me ever again! I thought I lost you!” He pulled me in close, hugging me before he pecked my head over and over again. My heart fluttered at his concern for me. But deep down, I couldn’t help but think, how was I going to tell him about my bite mark?

It took a lot of convincing, but I got Stiles to go home. The next day, I awoke feeling...different. The bite mark was gone, as if it had never happened. Though, it did. I got bit. And soon, I would change. Soon I’d have to tell the pack. That morning, I head to school, as usual. Stiles, not once, left my side. It was nice to have him worry about me. And, for once, his eyes weren’t on Lydia. They were on me. Though that was a selfish thought, I’m being honest. It was the best feeling in the world. But no matter how happy I was, the truth was inevitable. We sat down to have lunch. Stiles, for once today, was nowhere to be found. I started to get worried and then, seconds later, he shuffled in. 

I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. However, he did not look happy. In fact, he looked worried, terrified even. He sits down next to me, wrapping his hand around my waist to pull me closer to him, keeping his hand planted firmly on my hip. I blushed a little at the contact. However, the moment left almost immediately. “There was another killing last night.” The pack’s eyes widened in shock as he continued. “And no, the beast we killed last night is definitely dead. It’s something else-” My brows furrowed, deep in thought. If I was bitten, wouldn’t it take a few days until I shifted or felt anything truly different? I didn’t feel much different, just healed. 

Stiles continued, his grip tight on me, as if could slip through his fingers at any moment. “The guy was poisoned and then ripped apart. He was a murderer, good riddens, I guess.” Scott leaned forward, asking. “Do you know what did it?” Stiles pulled me closer to him, if that were possible, biting his lips. “It looked like a Kanima killing.” A Kanima? Like Jackson. I pondered to myself. I’m a werewolf, not a Kanima? I gulped, swallowing sharply as I glanced at my hands. The hands of a murderer. I killed someone.. But who was controlling me? A Kanima needs a master, right? How was I driven? I thought about it for hours. 

I didn’t have a connection with anyone. I was a loose canon, driven by my own blood-thirsty intentions. I took two showers, as if that helped wash away my sin. Though, deep down, I knew it was further rooted. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t wash it away. And then I thought of my friends, my family and... Stiles. The love of my life. How would he react if he saw me this way? My mind went into a spiral of dark thoughts. I looked at myself in the mirror, shaking. This can’t be happening. I try to maintain my breathing, scared. I was scared, petrified of myself. I was a monster. Oh my god. How was I going to tell the pack? How was I going to tell Stiles?! Fear washed through me like a tsunami. 

A few days had pasted since I found out about my...condition, three more deaths occurred. Two of which were not my doing. The third killing was me. Waking up covered in someone else’s blood is quite a sight to see at six in the morning. But the point being, there was another monster out there. After discussing about it, thoroughly, we decided to meet up at an abandoned building tonight. Later that night, I packed my bag, glancing down at my hands. Automatically, I jumped backwards, shocked to find them covered in blood. Though, mentally, I knew it was a facade, an illusion. But it felt so incredibly real. Hurriedly, I emptied the whole bottle of soap into my hands, scrubbing aggressively. 

Ever since I found out, I bought more perfume to mask my scent, washed my hands more, as if that helped.. I drove to the abandoned lot, heart practically in my throat. Stiles arrived a few minutes prior to me, staying close to my side. Scott went over the plan once more before breaking into our groups. Subconsciously, I watch over Stiles. But it seemed as though he was doing the same to me. Every few seconds, his gaze would wander over at me, sometimes lingering longer than it should. It made my heart ache. I needed to tell him the truth. However, the second I open my mouth, the beast we were hunting came tumbling through the door, knocking Scott and Isaac to the side. 

They hit the marble wall with a loud thud, groaning and cursing in pain. I flinch and wince at the sound, pulling Stiles behind me. We force each other back, wanting to protect one another. Derek and some of the others were eventually thrown to the side, as well. Weakly, they try to pry and peel themselves off of the ground. I push Stiles behind me, shooting it. I try to push the beast as far away from him as possible. However, the second I thought Scott put him down, I was proven wrong and thrown across the room. Stiles screamed louder than ever. “(Y/N)!!!! LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!” I peer up with blurry eyes to see Stiles cornered by the beast. “GUYS?! SOMEONE?!! HELP?!” 

The love of my life was being cornered by a monster. I saw the fear in his eyes. The eyes I fell in love with. And in that moment, something in me changed. I didn’t have control over myself. And right now, that was a good thing. I began to change, shift into the creature I had become. Growling lowly as I scratched the cement for relief. Scott eyed me with suspicion. “(Y/n)?” My strength grew twice than before. I stood up, growling loudly. I sounded like a T-Rex, the beast turns its attention towards me because it was that pronounced. He growled back as I hissed on all fours. I couldn’t help but notice the look of betrayal on Stiles’ face. It broke my heart. But there was no time for that. Not now, anyway. 

I brought out my claws, hissing before I leaped forward to attack. Every time it tried to attack Stiles, I forced it back, clawing at the beast. We went back and forth, both landing solid hits on one another before I finally cornered it and attacked with the intention of killing. Using my numbing power, I hit him with it and watch him crumble. The beast groaned in pain. I stood over it, hissing before I lashed at him. He laid there in front of me, motionless. I shook my head, feeling rather lightheaded, all of a sudden. Kneeling, I wrap my hands around my head, crying out in pain. Shifting back was not a walk in the park. I grip the cement wall for support, perspiring profusely. 

And when things couldn’t get any worse, a small voice spoke up, directed at me. “(Y/n)?” It was Stiles’ voice, a broken and cracked one at that. Though he calls for me, I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want to see his judgment filled expression. But I turn my head, anyways. Regret following almost immediately after. I was quite use to Stiles’ facial expressions. But this- this was a new one. There was a mix of anger and sadness, a tint of disgust. I couldn’t hold his gaze. For it was too hard to hold. “Look at me.” He barked. I do, tears rolling down my face. Stiles eyes were dark, something I wasn’t accustomed to. His voice was low, intimidating. “When did this happen?” I hesitate, the packs gaze on me as I stood up. 

“A few days ago, when the beast a-attacked me. It bit me-” At the mention of the attack, Stiles winced. “I thought I was going to turn into a werewolf. And then you mentioned the Kanima killing...So, I did what Jackson did, retracing my steps as he did only to find out that-” I croak. “that I’m the monster you’re trying to hunt down. I-’I’m-” I can’t look at Stiles anymore. I don’t have the strength to. “I’m so sorry...” I manage to say coherently before falling to my knees. But before I hit the ground though, a large set of hands wrap around my waist, pulling me in close. I knew those hands. They were Stiles’. He ran his thumb up and down my the back of my neck, whispering words of comfort. “It’s okay. I promise. It’ll be alright. We will get through this. I’m not leaving you alone.” He kisses my head before muttering. “I love you, (Y/n) (Y/L/N). I will always love and take care of you.” I nuzzle myself deeper into him, crying openly. “I love you too, Stiles.” 

(I hope you liked it!!)

[lj-writes]

Finn’s compassion and tactical brilliance: An analysis of the hangar bay escape

I watched Finn and Poe’s escape from the star destroyer’s hangar frame-by-frame, and I am now convinced of two things: a) Finn did everything he could to minimize the damage to the Stormtroopers, and b) it is thanks to his tactical judgment, as well as Poe’s skill, that they were able to make it out alive.

One of the charges most frequently brought against Finn’s character is that he shot at his comrades and friends during his escape with Poe from the First Order and showed no regret for it. This is, of course, just a terrible argument on its face because there is no way that Finn was in the wrong to escape the people who had stolen him from his family and raised him to be a slave soldier, including if necessary by using force against those who stood in his way. I have also disputed the argument that he was unconflicted about his actions.

Just to be sure, though, I went back to watch his escape with Poe and what I discovered surprised me. See, even though Finn was entirely justified in using violence where necessary to escape, he actually used the minimum possible force against the Stormtroopers necessary to escape, arguably far less than he was justified in using. He avoided shooting Stormtroopers directly, and directed his most destructive fire toward the hangar bay’s command center where the operators and officer were on duty.

What’s more, he showed incredible tactical skill in the process. His snap judgments under extreme stress were spot on and impressive, and I really wish this scene had been played up more to show just how brilliant Finn is. As it is, crucial moments establishing his humanity and skill zoomed by in blink-and-you-miss it action without later reinforcement, missing an opportunity to show important information about the character.

(Detailed analysis with pictures under the cut)

Warning: This post contains animated GIFs, some of which contain flashing lights and frenetic action. I have slowed down some of the GIFs in case that’s helpful, but be careful nevertheless.

As a starting point, here is what the script has to say about Finn’s actions in the hangar bay while he and Poe’s TIE fighter is caught on a cable:

FN-2187 TEARS UP PARKED TIE FIGHTERS and GUN EMPLACEMENTS WITH WELL-AIMED, STRATEGIC LASER BLASTS! Hits the CONTROL

Note how the script explicitly states that Finn’s targets were the TIE fighters and gun emplacements, not Stormtroopers. What’s more, his blasts are “well-aimed, strategic,” meaning he was hitting his targets–planes and weapons, not people–with as much precision as could be expected during such fast-moving action. And finally, he hits the control center that looks out on the hangar bay before Poe detaches the cable and they escape into space.

So let’s examine the action sequence that was filmed based on this direction and break down what exactly Finn ended up doing on screen.

To refresh your memory (and if you haven’t seen the movie what are you doing here?), Poe and Finn had settled in the cockpit of a TIE fighter and Poe had just given Finn the ten-second basics of How to Be a Starfighter Gunner. Poe then takes off toward freedom, except…

[Image description: The TIE fighter Poe and Finn had stolen is caught on a cable and can’t fly out]

…Oops. The starfighter was stuck. Poe told Finn he could fix this, with the unspoken directive that Finn needed to do whatever he had to so they could stay in one piece while Poe got them unstuck.

Meanwhile, control was alerted to the situation and attempted to stop the unauthorized launch by having Stormtroopers go shoot at the rogue starfighter. This is a really odd way to go about things, since logically their first step should have been to order the TIE to land, and to close the hangar bay doors as a precaution. They could always start shooting if the vessel refused to comply.

Who knows, maybe there are reasons for this decision. Maybe Poe didn’t pick up the comm, maybe control had gotten a report that the Resistance pilot had been taken out of his cell and made the connection, maybe the bay doors couldn’t be closed because of some other operation or technical issue. Maybe these are a bunch of trigger-happy yahoos out to prove, on a small scale, Umberto Eco’s maxim that fascist governments are condemned to lose wars. Whatever the reasons, the officer decided to shoot first and Finn had to act fast to buy Poe crucial time.

So Finn fired back, very naturally and justifiably, but look at where he was shooting. Here’s a still of Finn’s first laser cannon shot midair:

[Image description: The green laser cannon beam that Finn fired is about to strike a hexagonal box-like object.]

See how it’s going between the standing figures of Stormtroopers at the box-like objects with the slits in their sides? It’s hard to tell exactly what they are, but chances are they’re not plumbing supplies. Most likely Finn is destroying weapons caches placed around the hangar much like this one shown at the beginning of the troopers’ assault on the TIE fighter:

[Image description: Stormtroopers take blasters out of a box in the hangar.]

Finn’s second shot is similarly aimed at objects, not people. Here we see the green beam of the laser cannon land on these tire-like objects in front of a knot of Stormtroopers, an instant before said objects go boom:

[Image description: In the foreground are three Stormtroopers with their backs to the camera. Finn’s green laser beam can be seen in the far background on the other side of a pile of dark, slightly shiny objects in the near background and to the front of the Stormtroopers. The pile of objects, already struck by the laser canon, is heated red from below and flames are leaping up.]

While the Stormtroopers caught in the explosion fly around like balls in a lottery machine, you can tell it’s from the blast of objects (supplies or weapons) being shot and not because the lasers landed directly on the troopers.

[Image description: Stormtroopers go flying when the pile of objects Finn hit explodes.]

Then we spend a few seconds with Finn looking concerned, determined, and tense in the cockpit before we switch to an external shot of more things going boom:

[Image description: Supplies blow up from Finn’s laser blasts, and there are a handful more heated red spots clustered to the left where lasers have landed. Stormtroopers stand between these spots of red heat.]

As you can see from the still, the hot red spots Finn hit with his cannon are not the spots where Stormtroopers are standing. Yes, they were caught in the subsequent blasts and I would not be surprised if some of them died; however, they were shooting directly at Finn and he chose not to aim at them. Instead he created explosions around the hangar that destroyed weapons and supplies so as to incapacitate, rather than kill, as many of his assailants as possible.

The next volley of shots, as in the script direction, land on the parked TIE fighters:

This predictably causes chaos, with blasts and shrapnel, and we see the effects on the Stormtroopers on the ground as they are tossed around or duck for cover. However, while again their wounds could be serious, even fatal, for the most part we can see that they are not direct targets and they are confused and shocked than anything.

Also, crucially, those Stormtroopers could exaggerate their confusion and injuries and avoid shooting further at the escaping TIE fighter if they chose. If there were other reluctant soldiers among the ground troops as Finn had been, he gave them that out–whether intentionally or not–by creating so much chaos.

For comparison here’s a gif of Stormtroopers being shot down directly by X-Wings. See how they fall in a straight line, following the direction of the fire?

Compare that to an X-Wing causing an explosion and Troopers going flying from it. In this case they are lifted off their feet and fly in an arc.

Which of these looks more like what happened to the Stormtroopers at the hangar? Personally I could not count one Trooper who fell in a straight line the way they would have if directly shot.

Again, I’m not saying being thrown around by explosions is a pleasant experience and I’m not trying to deny there could well have been casualties from Finn’s actions, armor or no. What I’m saying is that Finn did not shoot back, not directly, at the Stormtroopers who were shooting at him, and went out of his way to give them at least a chance at survival.

And if he was trying to shoot directly at something you’d know, because this is what Finn does with his final volley of shots before Poe finally releases the cable and they’re off:

See how the laser lands closer and closer to the control room’s viewport before hitting, smashing the port and causing destruction inside? Those in front of the glass are blasted backward and showered with broken glass, and are no doubt seriously injured if not dead on the spot--something Finn must have known would happen. He shot at the control room with bloody determination nevertheless, and as far as I can tell it’s the only time in the hangar bay sequence where he knowingly and deliberately hit human targets.

There are two important points about his determined pursuit of the control room as a target, though. First, this room housed officers and operators without a Stormtrooper in sight. These were the people who gave orders to the troopers and deployed them; they were not Finn’s comrades but his superiors and oppressors who sent him and others like him to kill and be killed.

Second, taking out the control room was vital to Finn and Poe’s escape. Remember how I pointed out the hangar bay doors should have been shut first? Whether that was delayed because of some operational/technical reason or because of incompetence, the longer the control room stayed intact the likelier it was that the bay would be closed and escape become impossible. Once he dealt with the immediate threat from the ground troops Finn absolutely had to neutralize the control room to ensure his and Poe’s escape, and even then he did not deliberately target other slave soldiers like himself.

In fact, in a couple of frames that passed by in a fraction of a second, you can clearly see Stormtroopers in Finn’s sights--most are not shooting, and some of them seem to be wounded and stunned--and he deliberately bypasses them to shoot up the control room instead. Here’s a still because it went by too fast to see otherwise:

[Image: Stormtroopers on the hangar deck appear on Finn’s viewport as he aims for the control room.]

Because Finn shot up the TIE fighters and the control room, the star destroyer had fewer if any starfighters to go after the rogue vessel and no means to direct any remaining vessels. It was why General Hux on the bridge had to resort to long-range weapons to try and shoot the escapees down, and why we didn’t see other TIE fighters come after Finn and Poe. Our intrepid Resistance fighters were shot down over Jakku by the destroyer’s canon fire, and I’m pretty sure they would not have survived if enemy starfighters had also been on their tail.

Take apart the sequence this way and you can see how fast Finn had to think to maximize his and Poe’s chances of escape with the limited means he had under his command. What’s more, he achieved this in a way that minimized the damage to ground troops who he knew to be kidnapped slave soldiers like himself. It’s a remarkable intersection of tactical brilliance and human compassion that, sadly, most of the audience will miss because the whole sequence was so fast.

From this analysis you can see why the accusation that Finn heartlessly shot at his former comrades is objectively wrong. Even aside from the fact that he was justified in shooting back in self-defense to survive and to escape captivity, even aside from the fact that the Stormtroopers were not his freely chosen companions, Finn did everything he could to make sure the Stormtroopers at the hangar (who, may I remind you, would have killed him) were hurt as little as possible. He used far less force than he would have been justified in using.

In addition, Finn took initiative far beyond what Poe directed and made full use of his inside knowledge and tactical thinking to decrease the First Order’s ability to pursue and kill them. And he did this all in under thirty seconds.

These qualities, needless to say, are the makings of a top-notch officer as well as a fine human being. I hope the Resistance realizes what an asset they have on their hands: those thirty seconds of the hangar escape are enough to demonstrate that Finn, in addition to being brave and conscientious, has the potential to be a leading military mind of his time.

[consoledacup]

I Can’t Give Up

When were they going to get it through their thick skulls? 

He couldn’t throw in the towel. 

Not when Simmons could still be out there. 

Not until his last dying breath. 

And then he saw it.

The sand. 

“Proof.” 

He took off without another word.

-

He debriefed the team on what the sand meant. 

“She’s out there,” Coulson murmured in awe. Fitz nodded encouragingly. 

Yes. Yes. YES. 

“But it’s been months,” Coulson continued.

“Yeah?” Fitz did not like where this was going.

“She could be long gone from wherever this thing dropped her.” 

“Yeah.” Did Coulson always have to be so matter-of-fact about everything? They had a lead, damn it. 

“She could be dead.” 

OKAY. 

What more did Coulson want from him?

Of course that thought plagued Fitz every moment of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month for six of them. 

“YES.” 

“But we’re gonna find out, aren’t we?” 

And for the first time in months, the team all rallied behind him. Wanting to follow his lead. 

-

So the three of them were off to Norway. He hung out with Bobbi in the cockpit. 

“So what do you know about this professor guy?” She finally broke the silence. 

To make an attempt at small talk about an alien who had lived on the planet for centuries while they took one step closer to rescuing his best friend who’d disappeared into a rock for six months. 

It was incredibly bizarre. 

“He’s brilliant. But a bit of a loose canon though. Indulges himself in every which way he can. Actually met him once.” 

Bobbi turned to him, eyebrows raised. “Really? What was he like?”

“A bit of an egomaniac. And flirted with everything that moved. But he knows his stuff, no question there.” 

“He hit on Simmons, didn’t he?” 

"Several times,” Fitz grumbled.

-

They brought Randolph back to base, and when he saw the monolith, he visibly recoiled. 

He finally revealed their final lead. 

At least, Fitz hoped it was their final lead.

He could - he could feel it. 

They had never been this - 

“To the plane!” 

It was about damn time.

-

And in Gloucestershire, the team made their way into the abandoned castle.

Fitz knew there was a point to them being there.

He could feel it. 

And when he and Randolph tampered with the machine, it clicked. 

This machine controlled the portal. 

“Do you know that, or is that just what you hope it to be?” 

Okay.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Fitz challenged.

While they waited for Mack and Daisy, he studied the machine as best he could. 

He could figure this out.

He had to figure this out.

-

And when the other two finally arrived, he had already mastered the machine. 

The others followed his instructions, and the bloody portal opened, and he peered inside, but. he. couldn’t. see.

THEY WERE SO CLOSE.

And he couldn’t see a fucking thing.

“Light! I need more light!” 

The portal stayed open still, but why the hell weren’t they listening to him? 

“I need some bloody light!” 

Coulson tossed him a flare gun, and he fired without hesitation. He could just make out...

The flare went through.

And then it closed.

-

He convinced the team that they needed to send a probe through. 

But something needed to be done about the fragility of the machine.

And then two things clicked. 

Quantum harmonic oscillation theory.

And Daisy.

-

But while they set up the machine again and connected the probe, something still nagged him. 

Based on the stamina of the machine, this could be their only shot. 

And if that probe were to fail in some way...

There had to be another way. 

And that’s when he thought of one.

It was risky. 

It was reckless. 

It was dangerous. 

And it was going to work.

-

He didn’t tell him of the change in plans. They would’ve talked him out of it, the lot of them. 

No. 

This is something that needed to be done. 

Had to be done. 

And he’d be damned if they got in his way.

They opened the portal again. 

He subtly unhooked the rope from the probe and attached it to his belt loop. 

He took a deep breath.

“Hold it open as long as you can.” 

And then he jumped.

-

He landed on something hard and grunted from the impact. He could barely hear himself think there was so much wind. 

He could barely see there was so much sand.

Blue sand. 

None of that deterred him. 

“Jemma!” 

This was his last shot. He was so close. She had to be here.

“Jemma!” 

He paced around, unsure of where to start looking, hoping his voice carried through. 

“Jemma!”

The sand was pelting him, and the wind grew stronger, and he stumbled, but he kept calling for her.

“Jemma!” 

And -

And then.

THEN.

“FITZ! FITZ!”

Her voice paralyzed him

“JEMMA?” 

but didn’t paralyze because he was already moving before he even registered that - that - that - that - that - 

Have to get to Jemma. Have to get to Jemma. Have to get to Jemma. 

Jemma.Jemma.Jemma.Jemma.Jemma.Jemma.Jemma.Jemma.

He climbed and clawed his way up, following where he heard the blessed sound. 

Following his heart. 

And then 

And then 

And thennnnnnnnnnnnn

HE SAW HER.

“Jemma!” 

The rope was restricting his movements, and he’d be damned if some fucking rope was going to take him away from her now. 

She fought the wind, stumbling towards him, yelping.

“Fitz!” 

He stretched more than he thought possible and she stretched, and their fingers touched, and his soul lit on fire, because it was her, and he was touching her, and he could hardly believe it, but he felt himself being pulled back and -

NO WAY IN HELL. 

NOT WITHOUT JEMMA.

And then she was rudely ripped away from his grasp because the rope made him fly backward and 

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. 

“NO! JEMMA! NO!” He tried to dig into the ground - he kept reaching out - hoping she’d latch on again. 

But she didn’t.

NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo

He fought against the rope. 

Like he had fought against the disbelief and despair and hopelessness and heartbreak and surrender that was tying him down those past six months - those past two years - he fought against that fucking rope.

He willed everything inside of him - every piece of him - to move forward. 

And then he did. 

He fought against the rope, and she fought against the wind, and they reached for each other again. 

They grasped each other’s hands with everything within them. 

“Hang on, Jemma!” With a firm hold of her hand, he started to inch his way towards the portal. 

But the rope was still too fucking strong, and Jemma could barely keep up. 

Could barely hold on. 

He could feel her grip loosen and 

NO.

Not when he had her. Not when they were so close. Not when he had her.

“J-J-Jemma!” 

“NO!” 

He kept bringing them closer and closer, little by little, as all aspects of the universe tried to rip them apart. 

His bloody rope was insistent to rip him away, and the unforgiving wind whipped her all about, and the sand obstructed almost all of his view of her, but he allowed none of that to deter him. 

And then he drowned in a sea of rocks.

-

He broke through to the surface hurriedly and glanced up to see his team watch him warily, and he still felt her, so he rushed to unbury her, and she gasped and she coughed and she wheezed and she - 

He still couldn’t believe it.

She stared at him in wonder. In weariness. In - 

“Fitz,” she breathed and sank into his embrace as he held her. 

He looked up at his team again. 

To take in their faces of shock. 

And grinned the biggest fucking grin he could manage.

“Get them back up here!” Coulson commanded. 

Fitz felt Jemma go limp in his arms.

“Sooner the better! She’s out cold!” He screeched, holding her closer to him.

They threw down two harnesses with another bloody rope attached, and he fastened the contraption on her the best he could before he put his own harness on. 

He held her closer still and gave them the all clear. 

Her steady breathing filling him with relief and gratitude with every inch they ascended. 

-

When they got to the top, he collapsed in exhaustion, careful to avoid lying right on top of her. And then he felt many hands unbuckle him and unbuckle her, and she was taken from him, and he would’ve protested, but he was so bloody tired, and Mack had a strong hold on her, and she needed medical assistance quickly, and so he just laid his head back down and closed his eyes for a bit. 

Because

Because 

Because

...

she was back.

-

He felt a hand on his shoulder and saw a hand outstretched, and he smiled a bit, accepting Coulson’s hand, allowing him to help him up. 

They walked back to the quinjet in silence. 

And then when he got a bit of his energy back, he began to sprint instead.

-

He stumbled into the medical compartment, and Mack shot up from the chair he was occupying, and Fitz wasted no time in taking his place. Bobbi was tending to Jemma on the little stretcher but once she was done, she insisted she look at him too. 

He let her. 

He really didn’t give a fuck what anyone wanted to do or not do in that moment. 

As long as he could sit and stay with Jemma. 

He didn’t care.

-

He watched her eyelids flutter open, and she stared at him, and he composed himself enough to try and talk to her.

“Hey, Jemma. You,” He took a wavering breath, trying to keep his tears at bay. “You fainted just after - after we made it through the portal.” 

She nodded, but he could tell it pained her to do so. 

To simply nod.

“I just - I can’t - can’t believe you’re really -” 

But she was already asleep. 

He leaned over, stroking her hair, making sure she was still breathing and her heart was still beating, and when he was assured of both, he waited a beat or two and then left a soft kiss at her hairline. 

And resumed his position beside her.

And waited. 

-

When they arrived back on base, Fitz and Bobbi wheeled her stretcher to a hospital room. 

Daisy - having recovered from her own part in Jemma’s rescue - grabbed a matching set of Jemma’s sweats, and Bobbi and Daisy both raised their eyebrows at Fitz expectantly. 

Oh. 

“Right.” He spun around, giving them privacy. 

“You know, Fitz. Now would be a good time for you to get yourself cleaned up too. Change. Take a shower,” Bobbi suggested.

“Not a chance.” 

“Just a suggestion.” 

He heard more movement and rustling and then a “you can turn around now” and he did, and he saw her sleeping peacefully, tucked in, and he slid against the wall near her, slumping in exhaustion. 

Daisy eyes darted back and forth between Jemma and him, and then she finally said, “Okay. I guess my work here is done.” She made to leave, but Fitz caught her hand, preventing her exit.

“Thank you,” Fitz murmured. “Thank you for - for what you did.” 

Daisy slouched down until she gripped him into a fierce hug. “Thank you for not giving up on her,” she whispered. 

She wiped her eyes and left quickly after that.

Bobbi stayed around a bit longer, re-checking Jemma’s vitals.  

“I still can’t believe she’s alive. She’s here. You did it, Fitz.” 

Fitz leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

“We all did.” 

-

The position gave him a terrible crick in his neck, and he woke up, whisking his head this way and that until he saw her sleeping beside him. 

Sleeping beside him.

Jemma.

She was here.

He forgot about the discomfort and drifted off again.

-

And when he woke up again, something heavy was weighing down his leg. He opened his eyes and looked down and saw the back of her head, and then he looked to the side and saw her whole body curled up, and he felt her hand on his knee, and in six fucking months if this wasn’t the BEST way to wake up, then....

He drank in the moment. 

Studied the way her hair spilled out from her ponytail. 

It was longer now. And her highlights were faded. 

She had lost weight too. Her face was thinner. Her frame was thinner. 

He could see visible tension in her back, and he wanted - more than anything - to wake her up and take her to a real bed and just lie with her, holding her, protecting her from whatever horrors she encountered. 

Whispering words of love and hope and comfort. 

Kissing her fears and suffering away. 

But he didn’t. 

He just watched her sleep. 

And that was almost enough. 

-

He decided he needed to wake her. He figured she wouldn’t want Bobbi to see - well, he didn’t know what she did or didn’t want. Not really. 

But he wanted to be respectful regardless. 

“J-Jemma.” He gave into the temptation of stroking her hair softly. 

She lifted her head up and sat up a bit and turned towards him and began to apologize of all things, and REALLY, what on earth did she - 

He cut her off and reached for her, asking her permission silently. 

She nodded. 

He took her hand. And put her worries at rest. 

Well.

As best as he could. 

He explained to her he only woke her up because she was due for another vitals check with Bobbi. 

“Right. Yes - yes, of course.” She scooted closer - ‘til she was flush against him - and laid her head on his shoulder, keeping her hand in his. 

And this time, he didn’t hesitate to kiss her hairline. 

-

A/N: In case you missed it, I’m agentchucklehead (I know. Ridiculous.) now. But hopefully you still knew it was me from the polar bears and my writin’ stylin’?? Still consoledacup on AO3. 

Tagged accordingly even though it’s belated. For week 4 of #fsww. I still haven't forgotten any of your prompts. And they're still very much welcome!! Hit me up. :) 

Check out For Once in Your Life for May’s perspective of everything and But She Saw the Flare - Jemma’s counterpart to this one.