#but can you criticise how people grieve?

[youstupidplonk]

Jessica “Chilli” Chilton and Jimmy Borelli both deserved so much better. In this essay I will.....

[pendularium]

sorry, yapping quickly. I saw a post earlier analysing how vi doesn't stand up for the zaunites to caitlyn, and contrasting that to jinx (and ekko), and viewing vi as a sort of pick me (not the language used but I can't find the original rn), and like. yes, I think the argument is correct, but there is like one thing I want to add, which is that vi, unlike jinx and ekko, isn't really in a position where she can criticise caitlyn right? ok hear me out. so one) imo a lot of s1 establishes vi as someone genuinely desperate for connection - its the thought to getting back to powder that gets her through prison (where she has been pretty isolated), her and caitlyn click incredibly fast etc, and all of s1 into s2 happen pretty damn fast right? vi gets out of prison, gains a friend, regains a sister and then instantly loses her again, and then that loss of powder is really underscored in the finale - vi has very few relationships left, and most of the ones she has had have ended in horrible tragedy and violence; it is no wonder that she especially would try to cling to the one (cait) she has left and two) vi is also someone who is constantly in the big sister/protector role - her intro shows this, her leadership of their little gang as kids, and after the time skip (after she fails) you can see her try to assert her dominance over caitlyn in s1 - vi is the one who knows the lanes, caitlyn has to keep up, vi throws caitlyn out of her comfort zone in the brothel etc., vi is trying to demonstrate that she has worth to caitlyn right? and of course when maddie is talking to vi, it's caitlyn expressing respect for vi's actions that vi seizes onto. I don't think this is (just) a way of showing off to caitlyn, rich girl from piltover, I think this is part of vi's understanding of herself as a figure of authority and protection in her relationships put them together and you have someone who, when confronted with an angry and grieving caitlyn, her last real connection (not counting ekko) makes compromises to avoid a confrontation with her. vi doesn't counter 'what kind of animals' directly, because that risks her relationship with caitlyn; she is pretty consistently someone who cares more about personal relationships than the grand scheme of things (as does powder/jinx but that's a different post). and yet, with that in mind, vi does try to defend zaunites! first, she tries to humanise them right; instead of being wild uncontrollable beasts, vi positions them as making a calculated attack - they wanted the spectacle, they're trying to scare you, and then after caitlyn doubles down on her anger towards them, vi pushes for caitlyn to call off the invasion. those aren't the actions of someone who doesn't care about zaunites, or would rather side with piltover imo, they're the actions of someone who does care about zaun, but who doesn't want to jeopardise her relationship with caitlyn. vi joining the enforcers is not only her staying with caitlyn, but also her trying to prevent the invasion. if I go after your sister alone, one of us comes back in a box = caitlyn won't go alone. the strike force then, can be read as a deliberate compromise between caitlyn, who has all the power here, and vi, who doesn't want zaun to be invaded by the enforcers

this is, of course, just a way you can read all this lol, if you disagree/want to add on please do so! I am a bit busy rn but I cannot express how much I want to talk about arcane with people

[h-worksrambles]

Ok, so Episode Aigis dropped, they changed some dialogue and now people are pissed and saying P3 Reload ruined The Answer.

If you want my TLDR, Atlus’ changes (both writing and mechanical) for the DLC are overall small, some good some bad, but they’re ultimately band aids that fail to address the much wider flaws of The Answer as a story.

I think there’s a genuine intent to try and better get across the character’s motivations. And for some characters it works well. I think the new dialogue for Mitsuru is a genuine improvement. I’ve seen some criticise it for focusing more on Mituru’s thoughts towards the protagonist then her (rather queer coded) loyalty to Yukari. But as much as I love my SEES lesbians, I genuinely think giving Mitsuru multiple reasons to side with Yukari rather than just blind loyalty, is much more in character for her than FES’ approach (where she comes across uncharacteristically stupid). But I think by only changing minutia like this it just ends up highlighting the bigger problem.

A lot of people hyper focus on Yukari’s role and talk about how irrational she is here. And now you’ve got people complaining that Reload softens and sanitises her character and makes her storyline weaker. But I feel it’s a case of identifying something doesn’t work but being incorrect as to why.

The thing about the SEES group fight is that it’s fundamentally a really poorly done conflict. It sucked in FES and it sucks here too. There’s not enough meaningful disagreement between the group to make it feel earned. The only one acting out and taking the MC’s death badly, is Yukari. When really if this is the climax they wanted to build to, everyone should have been grieving badly and constantly at each other’s throats. It could have been this building frustration and animosity, until they’re all at odds over what to do with the key and a fight breaks out.

What we get is everyone…mostly being pretty chill, aside from Yukari being kind of petty and jealous at Aigis. And I think the reason people react badly to her (misogyny notwithstanding) is that it’s really weird when she’s the only one having this extreme reaction. Instead of everyone dealing with the MCs death in their own distinct way, it’s only explored with Aigis and Yukari and only somewhat. Hell if you didn’t have such a jarring disconnect, and there was a better variety of reactions and thoughts from across the cast, I think more people would praise Yukari’s writing here. As it stands, when everyone else is almost ridiculously reasonable, it looks very jarring.

And then when the group do fight it feels completely out of nowhere precisely because of how agreeable everyone’s been. Everyone willingly jumps into a pointless fight that could get them all killed, one that only one member of the group even wants. All for a very contrived plot point that was set up five minutes ago. It’s executed in such a sloppy way that it makes the genuinely good scene of Yukari’s breakdown ring hollow. You get the sense that the writers weren’t really interested in exploring Yukari’s grief beyond using it as a plot device to make a dumb, unnecessary punch up scene happen.

I can see what they’re trying to do in Reload. They wanted to make Yukari stick out like less of a sore thumb compared to the rest of the group. But if they were gonna do that, they kinda needed to dial everyone else up, not dial her down. Build the tension between the party further rather than decrease it. Because now, if Yukari, and by extension the rest of the party are way more reasonable, it just begs the question even more of ‘they why are you fighting in the first place?’ It’s slapping on a band aid in a way that just exposes the whole scenario’s weaknesses

I genuinely think Episode Aigis needed to either keep the Answer entirely as is, or overhaul it completely. Making little changes like this won’t win over people who hated The Answer the first time, and will just annoy people who liked it as is. As it stands, The Answer is still a mess of good ideas mired by poor execution and Reload’s take only makes a handful of small changes that are ultimately different, not better.

[bibibbon]

Characters with wasted potential : shota aizawa (rant)

Look I first got into the series because of the idea of dadzawa but now i can confirm that it is just a fanon concept that people made(one that I wish was actually true). I have many problems with Aizawa's character that hori never really focuses on:

HE IS A BAD TEACHER. It is without doubt that aizawa shota is cannonically a horrible teacher who clearly favourites students like bakugo and shinso while clearly treating other students like izuku unfairly. One of the things that makes him a bad teacher is the whole expulsion thing. Something like that is very big as it completely ruins a perfect record which can ruin lives AND CREATE VILLAINS. Even his old students fear him and have a bad impression of him which doesn't help the "oh dadzawa" or "aizawa is a good teacher stuff". Shota can and will protect the students but that's it in terms of teaching his students something and taking care of them he rarely does that.

THE WAY HE INTERACTS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS. Iam talking about both sides here. He favours bakugo and goes to extreme lengths to defend him even though the public actually have a point and even nedzu states that the reason that they kidnapped Katsuki was because of his behaviour. It then makes no sense for him to keep on criticising midoriya instead of actually doing something and helping him handle OFA (he is one of the best teachers to help him with combat and his quirk) even if he doesn't know about OFA specifically he can still train and help midoriya which he never does or never offers. The only time we see him train a student it isn't even someone from HIS OWN CLASS which adds to the whole he looks like a bad teacher.

HIS BACKSTORY. Let's be honest the whole oboro and kurogiri thing had potential but it's all their just for shota and to make him a lot more sympathetic. It's literally Horikoshi's way of giving us a reason to justify shota's on paper expulsions and why he is so distant which doesn't work. His backstory had potential but was dealt with the wrong way to the point where later in the series all that shota is reduced to is the nomu oboros friend.

HIS INCONSISTENCY. Eraserheads character is very inconsistent like he goes from being this bad teacher who threatened to expel any student for coming last on a test and not showing heroic potential to him somehow forging yuuga for being the traitor and sympathising with him?!?! To me this development kind of comes out of nowhere especially when you realise that he KNEW he treated izuku badly and THEN PROCEEDED TO NOT APOLOGISE AT ALL?!!!?!?!. There are many other things inconsistent with his character like the way he treats all might and his friends like istg midnight is your friend so why you shutting present mic up for being angry and grieving midnights death?!!?!!

Honestly, I don't think Aizawa was supposed to come of as a bad teacher and a bad person but because of Horikoshi's writing it came out that way which is sad. I think horikoshi wanted him to be something similar to kento nanami (jjk) and hatake Kakashi (Naruto) but that didn't work out as seen here. You can improve this by:

Making him a good teacher. Show him reading his students files and trying to learn more about his students before meeting them which would help with his introduction scene where we see him waiting outside of the class to see how everyone is settling in. Have him use his rational deceptions but not make the consequences something huge like expulsion ( a transfer or a visit to the principles office would have the same effect). Let him acknowledge bakugos behaviour and have him call out stuff he sees. It makes no sense to me why anyone espe shota who got bullied by someone just like bakugo likes and constantly defends bakugo. HAVE HIM ACKNOWLEDGE/ LEARN MORE ABOUT HIS CLASS; he should know stuff like how secretive and closed off shoto is or how unusually aggressive bakugo is. Have him give actual concequences to his class that make sense like with mineta and bakugo they should of been dropped long ago or at least been sent to nedzus office so he can deal with them. FOR A GUY SO LOGICAL SHOTA DOESN'T SEEM TO DO ANY OF THIS!!!

Change the way we see him talk to and interacting with different characters. Iam all for having him be someone closed off but someone who still cares because that's the something that the narrative tries to do but fails at. The narrative also tries to make him as this guy who is scared to form real bonds as a trauma response to what happend with oboro but ironically he always ends up caring and trying to protect people in his own way which is an interesting plot point but fails. I would be content in keeping both of those plot ideas as a part of his character however, to do that have him not have any FAVOURITES and just slowly/unconsciously have him build bonds with the students in his class (can start to happen after the usj) and for shinso have him build a bond after shinso manages to get into the hero course. When it comes to him talking and interacting with his students keep him blunt and have him point out flaws but also give ideas and help into how to actually FIX THE FLAWS. This could lead to him trying to help izuku with his quirk situation and actually teach him quirkless combat (which is something CANON IZUKU SHOULD OF HAVE LEARNT!!!) From then we can see aizawas perception of izuku slowly change and he slowly starts to understand his student and realises the uncanny similarities they both end up sharing. When it comes to him interacting with teachers have him at the start feel like he doesn't fit in and be distant but slowly with the help of his friends present mic and midnight he starts to open up to the UA staff and we can get him develop a little rivalry with Vlad (I know a lot of people say it exists but it's quite one sided with just Vlad being competitive) Iam not saying aizawa should be extroverted and competitive but still be petty and uphold a bit of the rivalry in his own way. When it comes to his friends I think with them he should be close but also have this irrational fear of losing his friends ( actually have him realise and try to teach the dangers of heroics). With all might I feel like he should respect him as a hero and what his goal is which is to teach heroics to the younger generation ( he still doesn't know about OFA until way later ) but have him as someone who has been teaching for a longer time period give constructive criticism and sympathise a bit cos let's be honest teaching a group of overpowered kids is tough.

Have his backstory focus on him and his friends. When reading the vigilantes manga and just looking at the main manga you can clearly tell that the whole backstory of oboro and the kurogiri situation is just there for aizawa and no one else which is such a shame considering it ruins all the characters that are involved writing. Throughout the reveal, we should of focused on the whole rooftop trios reaction as a whole and not only on aizawas we should of seen them try and take comfort and confide in eachother ,we should of seen their own regrets and suffering while giving all the characters screen time to show that. Also aizawas backstory doesn't make sense considering how he goes on to favour bakugo even though he was bullied by someone like bakugo so have him actually follow his backstory and maybe as a teacher empathise more with Izuku and try and help whatever nonsense pos is on.

It's such a pity that aizawa (one of Horikoshi's favourite characters) has so much wasted potential and could of been a great teacher that tried his best to teach and protect his students but because of the inconsistencies in his character and his actions all of that just FAILS horribly.

[luckykiwiii101]

Girl, there is no reason to be so mean… like you could at least sweetly reject her! Poor thing, her dad passes away and she wants to know more about affirming. I get the ‘savage personality’ but you should really try to lift others up… 😔

This is exactly why you haven't manifested anything yet 🙄

Be kind!

Hello. I don’t think i’ve replied to an ask about anyone who’s dad passed away? Maybe i missed it, can you send me the link if i have. But I would never be insensitive to someone who is grieving. I usually skim read my asks because I get so many in a day and don’t have time to read them thoroughly.

About the “savage personality”. I’m not being a savage. I understand that I write my posts with an attitude but that is for a reason!!! If somebody genuinely needs my help, they can look at my master list and read posts there! If they have a question that those posts in my master list do no answer then i’m more than happy to help and that is evident on my page!

I’m not going to repeat myself when it is so time consuming to answer asks everyday and run this blog especially during exam season. And of course i’m going to get frustrated when people just ignore me when I tell them to check my master list before asking me a question. I’m sorry that people can’t consider the fact that i’m a human being and i’m busy. I’m not some AI machine that you can ask the same questions on repeat like a broken record. There’s an actual human being behind this blog and people are just abusing my inbox spamming me with the same questions everyday asking me “How do i manifest” “How do I assume” “How do I affirm” As if my master list doesn’t have a whole entire detailed lengthy post dedicated to that specific topic. I didn’t make those posts for no reason. It takes me 2+ hours to make posts sometimes because of how precise and detailed I make them so that you guys can fully understand and for people to just disregard and ignore my work like that whilst proceeding to ask me for more is straight up disrespect. I made my master list so that it is in big bold letters and easy to navigate. People refusing to not read my posts and educate themselves is not my problem. I’m not going to baby them nor let them victimise themselves. They have all the resources they need and they don’t want to use them. If they have a genuine question i’m more than happy to answer unless there’s a post in my master list that answers it.

Maybe you should try running a blog before criticising me like this.

P.S. I’ve manifested many things. “That’s why you haven’t manifested anything yet 🙄” That’s laughable. Turn your anonymity off next time. And you’ve so clearly manifested your dream life. Oh wait I can’t see your blog because your hiding behind the anonymous icon. Keep it going!

Don’t try to school me. I’m not going to answer ignorant people. If you’re mad, then you are that ignorant person that needs to read this message. My gosh.

[semper-legens]

25. Destined, by PC and Kristin Cast

Owned: No, library Page count: 325 My summary: Neferet's plans have ramped up. Killing Zoey's mother to make her perfect vessel, Aurox, wasn't enough. She wants to destroy Zoey and her friends, and she's going to need power to do it. The Darkness is calling...meanwhile, Zoey's friends face trouble amongst themselves. Rephaim is still settling in, and Erin and Shaunee have started to separate themselves. And Zoey is grieving her mother's death. Can they get it together long enough to find out what really happened? My rating: 1/5 My commentary:

Back at it again with the House of Night and hoo boy folks, this one's a doozy. I'm so close to the endgame now - only three more to go after this! And as soon as they come into the library, I swear, I'm speedrunning this shit. But this post is going to be the opposite of speedrunning. Turns out I have a lot to say about this continued train wreck, and I'm gonna spill a lot of digital ink in so doing! So without further ado, let's get down to it.

Right off the bat, we have a healthy dose of ableism! Yep, this book introduces Shaylin, who became blind as a child and is Marked by Erik. But she's Marked as a red vampire, and immediately regains her sight - and is gifted an aura-sensing True Sight. And of course, she goes on and on and on about how great it is that she's not blind anymore, and how bad being blind was, and it's just enough to make me cringe. Because all blind people need is to magically get their sight back! Not, like, better accommodations to help them live in a world that hasn't been built for them, or to be treated like actual adults or something. Nope. Magical sight, that's the best thing. It carries forward that unhealthy idea that vampires in this world are physically 'perfect' - before, we've seen the kids whose bodies reject the Change being portrayed as fat, greasy, and unfit. Now, it seems that disabled kids aren't allowed to be vampires while retaining their disability. Gross!

Nefert has a new boytoy, and his name is Aurox. Get it, because he's a werebull. Sort of - he was gifted by the white bull of Darkness, and he can turn into a bull involuntarily. But because Neferet botched the summoning, Aurox has a soul and stuff. Specifically, Heath's. Remember Heath? Zoey's human boyfriend, got necksnapped by Kalona? Yeah, the book treats it like it's a big mystery, but it's so obvious that it's Heath. Aurox knows things about Zoey he shouldn't, calls Zoey by Heath's pet name for her, has his mannerisms…it's one thing for a book for teenagers to be simpler than I, an adult, expect, it's another for it to be so obvious that a toddler could realise what's going on. And yet again, we've got another topless teen badboy who angsts about being evil and is gonna get a redemption arc. Christ alive, how many of those are there? Stark, Kalona, Rephaim, now Aurox…we get it, Casts, you got a kink. Can you please come up with another male character?

Speaking of male characters, in order to sew some chaos, Neferet's invited humans to come work at the House of Night, which means we're introduced to Lenobia's cowboy, Travis. He's a cowboy. Who works at the stables. And Lenobia, running minor character and horsemaster at the House of Night, is falling hard for him. What does this relationship do, plotwise, other than add a sexy cowboy to the cast? Even though I've criticised things like Stevie Rae and Rephaim or Zoey and…most male characters…I can at least acknowledge that they serve a function. Introducing or adding to the theme of redemption, giving those characters conflicts and secrets, furthering the plot somehow. But this? I guess it's giving us an insight into Lenobia, but so far all I've gathered is that she has a thing for cowboys and doesn't want to be romantically involved with anyone but oh no this guy's too sexy. It drags the book down and takes up valuable page time - not to mention that Travis himself has less depth than a Mills and Boon cowboy. He's just…charming and folksy and respectful to Lenobia and loves horses. Exactly the sexy cowboy archetype. Bleh. Lenobia seems like she might have been an interesting character, but the new context we learn about her is entirely about her love life, or lack thereof, and nothing to do with who she is as a person. It's lacklustre, is what I'm getting at here.

Neferet continues to be the big bad, evilly doing evil things because she's evil. She's escalated to human sacrifice and gives blood to the Darkness to drink whenever she needs something. As if she wasn't enough of a cackling supervillain already. My biggest problem with Neferet is that there's no depth to her. Why is she doing what she's doing? Sure, she wants power, she wants to rule the world and become a goddess, but why? I don't need a Disney-live-action-movie backstory for her, just something other than her hatred for Zoey and lust for power! Has this always been a facet of her from before Zoey? Was she striving towards this goal before Zoey? And, of course, for all that the Casts seem to think they're clever for making the evil bull the white one, we have the Darkness demanding blood in order to do Neferet's bidding. Not at all an overdone trope. And the way they take it from her is uncomfortably sexual - almost like the Casts haven't gotten over their whole 'slutshame the villainous female character' thing. Above all, though, Neferet falls into the biggest trap for her character archetype - she's not camp enough. If you want to have a cackling balls-to-the-wall Evil Bitch as a main villain, she needs to own it. Think Maleficent! Think Ursula! Neferet just isn't interesting enough or ridiculous enough, that's my problem.

Meanwhile, there's trouble in Zoey's inner circle. Erin and Shaunee, the Twins, have started to un-twin themselves, separating from each other to become their own people. This would be a perfectly fine plot point, but for three things. One, Erin and Shaunee aren't well-developed in general - literally, their only character trait is that they are Twins. This would be a good time to give them more character, except that this mostly unfolds with people standing around and telling Shaunee how much nicer she is now, rather than us being shown it really. Two, it seems to come right out of nowhere? There's no particular reason it happens. And three, none of the other characters seem to care about Erin after it happens. They're obviously setting up for Erin to become more of an antagonistic character later, but as soon as the split occurs, all Zoey and her friends seem to care about and check in on is Shaunee - nobody ever checks in on Erin or seems to give much of a shit about her as a person. Which is…really fucking weird? Like, if Zoey et al had checked in on Erin and been yelled at or something, that'd make sense. But it's like this girl wasn't their friend at all, so quickly is she dumped. And that's just lazy writing. It's a clear signal to the reader that Shaunee is the 'good one' and Erin is the 'bad one', despite it being a particularly cold and uncaring thing for the characters to do in-universe. There's no reason why Zoey can't be like 'hey are you okay' to Erin at least once. It'd give a chance to show how Erin is changing! But nope. Subtext is for cowards. Let's just spell it all out to the audience. Wouldn't want them to start thinking.

And yet, for all that seems to be going on here, that's actually a negative. Because it makes the book so unfocused. You can hardly concentrate on one plot thread, so much is being brought up and juggled and dropped. And a lot of it isn't resolved - sure, this is a series and there's three more books after this, but it just feels like the Casts are throwing a lot of spaghetti at the wall to see what will stick. It strikes me as a series that hasn't been tightly planned, that was loosely improvisational, and it really shows. New conflicts come out of nowhere and aren't properly foreshadowed in anyone's behaviour. New twists are set up that are predictable from the moment they are introduced. Characters are sort of fleshed out, but only in very limited ways. Characters stick to one-dimensional archetypes. There's a lot going on, but it's all as thin as paper. And it's just as bad as all the books that came before it.

Next up, time travelling meets a pirate tale.

[subby-kat]

STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW THEY SHOULD GRIEVE!!

this is really off topic for my blog but i truly don’t care. this is very important to me so either keep scrolling or just shut up and read.

recently it was 7 years since my dad passed away (he took his own life when i was 11, it really fucked me up) every year on the anniversary i make a post on my instagram and it’s almost like a letter to him, saying how much i miss him and updating him on my life. for the past 2 years i have been ridiculed for doing this, i’ve been called attention seeking more times that i can count and i’m over it. STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW THEY SHOULD GRIEVE!!

im actually so sick of it. i really need everyone to remember that no matter how much information you are told, you will NEVER know the full story, so keep your fucking mouth shut and let people heal and grieve however they need to. there is no correct way to grieve, it’s a long, torturous process, never criticise someone for how they get through that time. i mean ffs, it’s been 7 years since my dad passed and i’m still in denial, it’s a different process for everyone. please stop telling people how they should heal <3

[oneaneonly]

i would say most things that plague them are avpd and bpd related, not dissociation. i feel like they are relatively “fine” but they do not ever feel happy nor okay and they dont really want to live, so if nothing happens theyre at Most content. just surviving, fine. the issues arrive when avpd or bpd stuff happens. i feel like the former is more … constant. and the latter less so, but a lot more fiery. well, actually its both. because its like theyll be criticised or corrected and then go away and not eat because they feel not worth it. or consider trying to die or whatever. or other things, i dont know. another issue for them is their ocd but only sometimes. its like most things are only sometimes

most things that they experience are like sleeping monsters. and then you stand by the monsters and they attack. the things that affect their life the most or at least the person they are, to me, is avpd, bpd, autism, and the dissociative amnesia. id say they agree

there are mini micro triggers and threats that cause big things. like, autism for them does not like a lot of loud sound. if they could live on their own they may be more stable, because there would be less sound. part of the reason they are the way they are is theyre permanently exasperated because the autism does not like that there are people in the house who make noise, and then theyre stuck. if they close doors, leave, wear headphones, etc everything has issues. whether it be others or theirself. they sleep in headphones (autism and ocd reasons) and they dont like to because they dont like how the headphones feel, so that isnt resting. plus its loud. so everything is still, for lack of a better word, “traumatising” for the autistic state of mind

that is a horrible and dangerous baseline threshold to be in especially with everything else because either that or everything else is immediately last straw. time and time again theyll see something upsetting, and then hear at the worst time the piano playing. now they are in hell, they cant cry if they wanted to because physically its slightly impossible and well they dont want to, they cant scream, they cant really do much to navigate this. and even if they tried to “regulate” the issues are still around. its like trying to calm down when the room is on fire. how. when the room is literally on fire

triggers often include being told how bad they are at things in any way, moralistic language in any capacity, hearing people talk shit about others, i dont know there are a lot of them. they have to wear their headphones to hear none of this, but then theyre overwhelmed. it seems like everythings an issue. and it feels like everyone reduces their feelings to the fact theyre autistic as an excuse to not aid them. like You dont get this because youre autistic. rather than considering that their own perspective may just be plain wrong to begin with

no one is willing to accomodate them when things get weird. any accomodation thats unconventional doesnt get respected the same or is just something to get over. if they say something about this then it doesnt matter or whatever else. i dont know anymore

theyll never want to live, they always live for other people so they dont grieve and because they beg, and i dont think thatll change. thats been their life for nearly eternity. though, it makes them fragile in some places. they always feel awful as a baseline, more or less, so bad things make them feel worse. i cant say this all easily right now. im sure i stopped making sense some paragraphs ago, but the point is i think dissociation is an affect. i think dissociation is the byproduct of the taxing life they life. they probably need an escape. not sure how they do it honestly. i feel like the things giving them the most grief are the pds, but sometimes other things happen. i dont know, everything seems to Start there. maybe autism sometimes. but i wont know until a crisis occurs. i can barely remember and they are tired. so. dont know

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[hannahsliteraryhaven]

A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy

by Sue Klebold ★★★★☆

I read this book as a Brit who was only 4 when Columbine happened. It was something mentioned on the peripherals of my life, some brief awareness of the two boys in trench coats shooting at students, not knowing much about the facts of the case, but you could say I was entirely detached from the event. And I think that's why I was able to go into this book without prejudice.

The reviews on Goodreads are absolutely infuriating.

The reviews where people criticise Sue for defending her family and how she raised her kids… of course she's going to do that??? She received endless abuse, hate mail, blame and threats from essentially the entire world, so it is totally understandable that she wants to set the record straight! Who wouldn't? She would be damned if she did and damned if she didn't. She mentions in the book that people already viewed her negatively, so why not share her experience to at least try to set the record straight?

Also, the frankly idiotic reviews talking about how couldn't she have recognised the anger in Dylan as a child?! You all only say this IN HINDSIGHT. There are countless kids out there who behave like Dylan did as a kid and as a teenager that don't do what he did, and turn out to be great human beings. Do you kick off at their parents for not recognising that their kid is a little angry or too independent? No. She also covers in the book how even 4 year olds can deceive adults and FBI experts. Teens are excellent at hiding things and their true feelings. I feel that even if Sue did everything "right" (as if her parenting had any influence at all) he would've never admitted to his mother what he was planning and she may never have been able to prevent it even if he did tell her. The world is placing far too much on Sue and her family's shoulders.

What Sue does an excellent job of is drilling into the readers' head the warning signs of depression in adolescents (they present slightly differently to adult depression). If you have a teenager at home that you're worried about, Sue shares the things she regrets not doing or saying with her son (as well as some anecdotes of parents whose child committed suicide whilst they were unaware of their feelings) and knows now what signs/opportunities that she missed, largely because she assumed her family were fine and happy, so it could be incredibly informative to a parent who doesn't know what to do for their teen. It's probably not the first resource to go to, but it's certainly very eye opening at how little parents know and understand about poor mental health in adolescents. She has done an excellent job of turning the tragedy into something positive by spreading such awareness.

My heart goes out to Sue, for the sad loss of her son who could've gone on to do great things (most likely if he had not met Eric). My heart goes out to her for the intense emotions, stress and trauma she experienced whilst having the community point their finger at her and send her abuse and hate, instead of seeing her simply as a grieving mother who has absolutely no culpability in the tragedy. I hope Dylan's family have learned to ignore the idiots that criticise them and focus on the positive comments and support from people around the world. We're out there.

And although I know Eric was the main instigator of all of this, due to his psychopathy/personality disorder, and despite not knowing absolutely anything about his family or upbringing, I still have the ability to see Eric as a human being separate from his family. His actions are his alone. It's the same for Dylan. Keep their families out of it!

[darkwing-ramblings]

Please, don't be worried. (This is Tumblr so I assume people can get worried easily, sorry if I am talking too much here)

Ooh I've figured out indenting! That makes sense, intentions are often notably harder to parse online after all and direct and explicit communication is the most effective method to ensure everyone is on the same page. I understand and read you silent and clear 👍. I also believe my previous check up was openly described as motivated by worry in any case making it relevant to address.

Also, I like to "credit where due" to characters too.

It's the only way to drag and/or celebrate them later after all if that's what the heart desires! Feats diminished in veritable satisfaction if you can't laud or criticise them with, goodness gracious, sufficient accuracy! Why, the shame! (I jest here, but also heartily concur that accuracy where possible is important just like seeing merit where present in characters no matter what else is going on with them, it's a nice exercise in recognising one's one biases and practising that personally disliking something does not fundamentally change its essence)

XD I love this! Also, true. (And disliking M&Ms because they killed Elves.)

I'm flattered! Yes, the silmarils have such non-controversial moral standards it's great as well as personal sensibilities going by all of the examples above! Hence murder=bad, torture=bad, eating me=bad. They may wear out mortals but that's not deliberate, all of their deliberate decisions they do something about (burn it, burn it with treelight-essence-fire!) are very simply motivated!

First, to repeat from another post (I don't expect you to read all my posts, but also, do nor expect me to paraphrase things I can copy):

These are reasonable expectations if I may say so myself!

I don't feel like going into an "omniscience, Providence, free will" debate

I understand as wholly as I find myself intrigued by that summary of the essence of the debate. But never mind that! I have seen the opportunity for a somewhat relevant favoured tangent of mine!

I leap for joy at the opportunity to supply my understanding of how writing a character works! That being if you've set up consistency of history, personality, values, opinions and relationships in a character by placing them in a context the equivalent of multiple choice options that they could take should present yourself to you and it's up to you to pick which one works best for your aims and run with it. So the character need not fundamentally change to react to something one of a few ways but once you're chronologically past that if it properly shapes their development their pattern of choices developing gives you insight into them and creates more streamlined understanding of why exactly that is.

It's a fun part of writing, as sometimes a character will therefore fundamentally stop being the "themself" model your parameters guide you to write if you force an ill-fitting choice onto them for narrative smoothness; therefore, it takes clever manoeuvring of your options originating from them and/or adapting the external factors as required to go the direction of you want that functions as a puzzle built on an in-joke known only to you! Hence outlines are fluid guides that are not hard and fast rules and writing is interactive and interesting and enjoyable and never entirely predictable despite it originating from your own mind! It is understandable that it is as a result not always helpful as a minor point in larger discussions if that's not the point of figuring out an alternate timeline/universe because the detail is a little excessive for wider considerations!

with some characters having foresight (and Providence being a canon-established thing), we cannot do linear (in time) reasoning

It makes for fun considerations that are very text-specific, yes.

Finwë would be grieving for Feanor, but also he was more level headed. So… worst-case scenario you can probably imagine (no Flight, Morgoth Melkor roams free and still has a cool name).

Melkor not be renamed, for shame! Shame on all of the elves who couldn't come up with a suitable name-insult upon such similar circumstances! Feanor's greatest impact on the world made clear: having the audacity to wittingly rename an ainur as an insult that stuck for all of forever. Does Mairon similarly remain Mairon the Not-Sauron/Thauron because of this then? I actually don't know who granted him his clearly more accurate name, but without precedent/Feanor dead it could theoretically also not occur, hmm.

(Joking aside I can indeed imagine this, yes, I am with you)

Finwë promises the Silmarils to the Valar (because Trees), swears a better Oath (we will reclaim the gems and defeat Morgoth to avange my poor son + no blasphemy + no revenge on people who are not Morgoth). Many Noldor follow him, not as many as followed Feanor, but they probably get some Maiar as support.

Ooh that's interesting. Nolofinwe likely accompanies him but probably due to the noldor not having to repick a favourite/most-legitimate royal with the same haste as post Finwe's death has a smaller host too. Arafinwe keeps his remaining status to look after things at home easily enough I imagine here, because someone ought to.

I see we must replace the oath with another oath for without it the story would differ, fair enough, better is still improvement.

The war still isn't as quick as Finwë hoped. Sun and Moon are still made, Men are awaken, but Morgoth is defeated sooner thank in the canon timeline and with less losses. Also, Finwë hangs out with his friend Elwë and convinces him to let his daughter marry a Man with no stupid conditions. ;)

Oh of course there still needs to be plenty of ill-fate going around. I would not blame Elwe for being sceptical of Finwe's family related advice. But I'm sure Melian would keep her stance of that's a bad idea husband whatever he might suggest (possibly pointing out the hypocrisy of banning a never before seen marriage between kindreds, exactly like their own was unprecedented) and perhaps with Finwe and Melian tag-teaming it Elwe would concede?

Regardless, there are plenty of tasks to set Beren if Elwe still insists of him proving his worth/hopefully failing to ever force Elwe to follow through with the "win" condition that need not end up inciting kinslayings in this hypothetical au.

Morgoth (courtesy of whoever stepped up to grant the name in Feanor's place) being defeated earlier is our first tangible improvement that affects the simarils- rescue from the horrible, evil Morgoth and horrible, evil Angband!

Morgoth defeates, Trees maybe restored, maybe not. I can see some people (Maeglin, for example) stealing a Silmaril for weird reasons (to impress Idril), so we can still have the two Silmarils gone if we need it.

Aha, we return to the heart of the matter! For we must forget about everyone else and ask how this changed things for the poor silmarils! Hmm, I don't think the trees being restored is necessarily better for the silmarils in question for they have life as they are and are already perfect. For the elves quite possibly? But, for the silmarils I don't know that gem-plant-light-hybrids being forced into the shape of the original trees to forever be compared to the glow of their forebears is a happy ending? I think they would need to be somewhat more differentiated to have their distinct lives recognised as their own and not imitations of the "better" long-mourned similar but fundamentally different from them trees. If we're leaning into free-range silmarils they also are now even more immobile and not even moved around to see different things by other beings.

But you hit the mark that one silmaril must be retrieved/taken from Morgoth earlier than the other two to not decrease possible silmaril-happiness from the canon timeline and end up somewhere or equivalent or better note condition wise.

Second, I really don't think Thingol had the Feanorians in mind when sending Beren on his quest. It is possible that he didn't know about the Oath at all! Just that the Noldor (in general) want to reclaim the Silmarils (but not that it's such a high priority).

Hmm see this has merit and notably dampens the bettering of a Finwe lives au, for it means that if the oath's absence affects them not at all a kinslaying/violent conflict that accidentally ends in grievous harm is not out of the question yet and the silmarils may meet someone they accordingly do not like! Finwe is Elwe's friend yes but also a leader of a foreign people it's not unthinkable that Elwe feels some need to save face in front of/prove he is still separate and not beholden to.

(Plus there is the languishing in Thingol's vault, not optimal for silmaril happiness, slowly killing Luthien may also make them sad the same way if she ends up with it too but we really don't know about that).

If there was was no Oath of Feanor, there would probably be no mass murder at Alqualonde. And then there would be no closing of Valinor and Earendil wouldn't be necessary.

Well that sorts itself out neatly. There's certainly a pretty equivalent scenario to canon where the first kinslaying happens irregardless of Finwe's best efforts if the offer of the silmarils to the valar isn't enough to convince them endorsing leaving this early is a good idea yet. Given Olwe is not Finwe's best friend and his reasons for denying the ships weren't that related to Feanor as an individual- more the principle of taking them at all/valar disapproval. But it's easily enough handwaved away as it'll work itself out from creasing the song of arda whatever way it needs to probably.

As I said, much of the reason why "Silmarils in a vault" give me a red flag, is metatextual. In the Bible there are some verses about putting a lamp/light under a (bucket? not exactly but I don't know the English word) and that you need to put it up somewhere high instead so it can shine. And I am sure Tolkien knew those lines, because they are some of the more well-known.

It's got a higher possible relevance than where my mind went of the debates surrounding which pets can be kept inside if the conditions are favourably sympathetic to them at least? I also thought of houseplants and standards of care for them. That's a cool titbit to bring in at least that's new to me as a concept put quite that way anywhere. I was more thinking UV light and plants... wait! Wait were the poor trees also deprived as nearly the only light sources with no sun powering them!?! Stars are something maybe... plus they have wider foliage etc giving surface area to get things through than the silmarils have.

I wouldn't be complaining so much about the poor gemsies if not for that. However "poor gemsies" seems to be a reading supported by the book. ;) (But yes, Elves and Men are more important than gemsies)

Gasp! Shock horror! But the poor gemsies!?! How can lives be so easily compared when each is immeasurably of value? The poor gemsies have rights, rights I say! Just because they do not have legs and arms. What is this outrageous mobile-children-of-Eru based discrimination! The poor, poor beleaguered gemsies!

What makes a happy silmaril?

For context we must consider that the silmarils are written as living is not intelligent beings in a way and that they were derived of trees and so are a probable never-before-seen-gem-plant-hybrid-creature-with-opinions-just-no-mobility. Also I am @darkwinganimus by another name, to be clear, and this moves a previous discussion @eri-pl and I were having in the replies of one of their posts over to a format with no restrictively frustrating word limitation.

As @eri-pl puts in their Silmarillion reread part 6: "They loked like diamonds, so canonically white-ish. their fire is made of mixed Treelight, so I would assume warm white is canon.

They shone like stars of Varda but had real life inside — I really need this in English! OK, I googled it.

OH. Something else but: "he pondered how the light of the Trees, the glory of the Blessed Realm, might be preserved imperishable" — It may be me jumping on things + Tolkien's poetical wording, but this seems like a strong suggestion of "Fefe wanted to jump higher than his head" (he was not the first one) and sheds a light (pun intended) on his sttitude towards the Silmarils later.

Anyway back to that part about life: "and yet, as were they indeed living things, they rejoiced in light" So they are living things, not just "like" living things. Silmarills = baby Trees is canon! (OK, somewhat canon? but they *are* alive, and by logic they must be bred not made-in-the-strict-sense by Feanor)

So they glow by themselves with warm white, but also they are iridescent like diamonds. Beautiful indeed."

(Opinions such as disliking Morgoth then Carcaroth enough to burn him when the former wore them in his underground torture fortress Angband and the latter rudely ate them).

Anyway, the discussion points I actually want to raise are below, now that the nature of the silmarils are established as probably-living- beyond the possibility of poetic and figurative language along those veins merely sounding cool- is explained:

@eri-pl Hmm, okay, so per your reply attached to this post "Melkor (to be precise this was his name at that point :D ) wanted to kill Feanor anyway. He thought Feanor would be home too, iirc from the book. And still, Fefe could have worn them to a well-guarded situations, at least. But he was too paranoid." let's imagine Feanor takes the measure of no vault and just wears the silmarils everywhere, because he's pretty sure no one else distrusts Melkor enough to be sufficiently on guard. Melkor now has no reason to attack Formenos during the party so I don't know waits to ambush Feanor travelling on the road back from it, directing Ungoliant at the trees for a distraction etc and stealing the silmarils+killing Feanor as planned. Good for Melkor he achieves all his goals.

I humbly ask how this then might end up in your opinion better for the silmarils in question, aside from more time outside out and about Aman in sun years per your "Feanor wearing them might have ended up better for them anyway. At least he could have worn them to well-defended occasions (like That One Party), but he didn't because he was paranoid about the normal Valar too.". Because without Feanor and with Finwe alive there a question of if the flight of the noldor even happens afterwards- which they were agitating let's assume so and skip the how-that-happens/goes for now- and about the oath.

Now the oath is terrible for most beings involved, yes, but is it terrible for the silmarils themselves? It's a force of dedicated warriors specifically trying to retrieve them from Melkor their evil abductor- a force of dedicated warriors who make their retrieval from Morgoth so fraught a topic Thingol invokes it in an arguably rash and spur of the moment to Beren arguably meaning "I-would-see-you-dead-before-I-give-permission-for-you-to-marry-my-beloved-daughter-go-die-to-Morgoth-and/or-the-feanorians-over-a-silmaril".

It sees one of them get out of Angband in the hands of Beren and Luthien and enjoy free-range-ish years in the open then ultimately make it to Earendil upon Vingilot's prow. Earendil and Elwing's arrival with said stolen silmaril also helps petition aid from the valar in the war of wrath successfully leading to one ending up in the ocean (not terrible for pseudo-plant-gem-creatures as an environment) and a random volcano that maybe also got swallowed by the sea (at least there's no Melkor and it has possible gem-friends in its volcano). If there is no oath all of the latter is in question and whilst things could end better for the silmarils probably (and definitely those who died because of the oath on both sides, but that's not the focus here) they could also end up worse.

Now, Feanor's son's swear the oath of their own initiative when he begins to but on their own with him dead it's not exactly assured say Kanafinwe is going to see to it a very similar one is made.

I understand entirely that it is a lot of words however so won't be offended if you'd rather call it a day/don't actually read this all. Either way putting it together in one place has pleased me greatly whether any response, staggered yay or nay, results.

[caro-bug]

Ok the time has come

If you are a diehard Raiden fan or won't take me criticising Genshin for some other reasons, plz skip this post, because It's gonna be one hell of a Rant.

Don't get me wrong, I love Genshin and I'm not planning to quit it or something, but criticism must be given.

And that being said...

GENSHIN 2.1 STORYLINE WAS VERY, VERY BAD

And here's why:

Barely any playable characters were given any depth in this version. They were all treated just like plot devices.

Especially Yae Miko, who was there just to explain everything to our dumbassess and and give us an axcess to the power of ambition and friendsip I guess

Kokomi and Gorou? Nahhh, why give them any actual spotlight, if they were there only to deliever the schocking news that Fatui gave dellusions to the resistance? We might've as well learned that from some random soldier NPC and it would make little to no difference.

Speaking of delusions, don't Kokomi and Gorou fight on the front line? HOW THE HECK did they not notice that all of their visionless soldiers suddenly can use the power of elements? Did everyone hide it from them and everyone actually succeeded? Wasn't Kokomi weired out buy th sudden improvement of the whole resistace? How the heck did none slip up? WHY DIDN'T KOKOMI OR GOROU CHECK OUT THESE "WEAPONS" BEFORE GIVING THEM TO THEIR SOLDIERS? THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BOMBS OR SOMETHING

Also the fact that Kokomi just made us a general without giving us time to get to know how resistance works, or that she would give Teppei promotions just because he asked was extremely stupid. Not a master strategist move for sure. We could be a spy. Kokomi didn't even aknowledge Teppei until he asked her for a promotion.

Overall the whole resistance arc was extremely rushed and basically almost useless. If it was wisely prolonged, this update could be spread between two versions no problem. We could have had more quests where we and Teppei would slowly climb up the ranks, get to know more about Kokomi, ACTUALLY FIND OUT STUFF ABOUT EI AND SCARAMOUCHE INSTEAD OF LETTING YAE INFO-DUMP IT ON US.

Kazuha was ok I guess, but he was given very little screentime, and as my friend (a big Kazuha fangirl, mind you) noticed, that his whole arc revolves around Tomo and he barely has any personality besides grieving his loss, which is dissapointing.

I'd rather see him actualy join the resistance and face Ei not because he randomly appeared to save us, but because he was banished from Inazuma and had the courage to return.

Speaking of random appearances, why were Kazuha and the resistance at Tenshukaku anyway? Like, hear me out: Last time they've seen us alive was when we declared we would find the dellusion factory. So unless Yae told them we were here, they had no right to know (and if she did, how would that help?) And if they ACTUALLY thought that they could raid Tenshukaku, why do that right after their army recieved such a big blow, and with so little men? Besides the fact that Kazuha Conviniently managed to save us, it was all just an unnecessary bloodshed.

And Ei... Oh my god, I'm sorry, but the way they did her was such a mistake.

She basially went through the same thing as Venti and Zhongli, but was the only one to chose violence.

When we tell her that her people are suffering she's like "yeah, I know, so what?" But then we defeat her with what's basically a power of friendship and she's like. "Ok, I'll stop the decree I guess" and in her story quest she suddenly wants the best for her people? Oh no I know you don't.

She could have been the actual victim of The Fatui's plot. Imagine if Sara was actually collaborating with the Fatui and when we told her about them "manipulating" Ei she'd say she's gonna tell her but would actually go to backstab her before she realises the truth. Or if the "you've changed, you're getting weak" line would be what Scaramouche said to Ei after he defeats her.

Or, she could be an ACTUAL villain. The one that isn't forgiven just because she buys some dango milk and pulled a sword out of her boobs. She's a tyrant and there's no denying it. So why didn't she die to get what she desserved? Why didn't she get any actual redemption, or make some sort of sacrifice to show that she wants well for Inazuma after all? She could face the consequences of her wrongdoings and see the death she caused or experience the wrath of the people she hurt but noooo, her people already forgave her and are concerned for her health! But she's just being angsty, so let's go on a peacefull stroll and show her some horny light novel people wrote about her <3 Like come on, really?

Like seriously, if Mihoyo had the guts to actually call her evil, that would barely infulence her popularity. People simp over well-written villains like crazy. Well-written villains rule.

I'm honestly worried about how The Tsaritsa will be handled...

But okay, okay. To lighten up the mood, here are some things that I liked about this update:

Teppei, duh.

Watatsumi Lesbians.

Sara. Oh dear, oh dear, gorgeous. Once again, she proved herself to be an honorable person. We've seen her admit that she was doubtful about the decree. We've seen her world being shattered as she realised what her family did. We've seen her put away her selfless devotion to do what's right. My hot tengu gf, I absolutely love you and your writing so far.

Scaramouche has more interesting backstory and motivations than hid creator. He's the villain we deserve. He has the gnosis and he's yet to cause some drama, so hopefully he fixes this hell of an arc.

Thoma didn't have much screentime, but I like how they touched the topic of how it's hard for him to stay in hiding

Sayu was cute and fit into the story nicely.

ANGRY TRAVELER YES. They spoke. They were pissed. They were traumatized by witnessing Signora's death, even though they hated her. They see that the gods are nothing to mess with, they're changing, they're becpming just like their sibling. YES, YES, YES.

The fact that Raiden somehow "marked" us to attack us when we join the resistance army was cool and relflected her elemental skill really nicely.

[a-wild-rosette]

I just think that... It feels very unfair to compare Bdubs and Impulse's first session to Ethubs' entire Last Life series and then say Etho is a worse partner to Bdubs. I feel like that kind of comparison take a way a lot of the context and scope of both relatioships, and feel a little... Cheery picking on Ethubs' relationship.

Cause the thing is that we have seen comparatively much more of Ethubs' ups and downs with their 8 episodes, and only 1 episode of Impdubs. There is more downs than ups in Ethubs' story than what Impdubs currently have right now, because that's how math works. Not to mention, because most of the things that makes Ethubs' a sad story happened a lot later than their domestic and soft moments, we remember the sad moments a lot more.

When you're comparing Ethubs and Impdubs, you're comparing an old marriage and a new relationship in a honeymoon phase. You're comparing people who know each other so well they know they don't need flashy declarations of affection, and people who were so newly and excitedly in love that they want to shout it to the whole world and shower each other in sweetness. They are very different showcases of love, but it doesn't make either of them less valid or less sweet.

When you are comparing Ethubs and Impdubs, and call Etho a bad partner because there weren't much "loving" actions, you are taking them out of their series and putting their way of love as an individual choice, without interraction with the world they were in. Double Life, for all the first session, is about finding love. Last Life, since the first session, was about death and betrayal. Impdubs has something Ethubs was never afforded: they was allowed peace. Impulse's Bdubs wasn't forced to kill, Etho's Bdubs was. Impulse will not be forced to give up on his ride-or-die, but Etho was, and he said "no, he won't give up on Bdubs" three times, and the one time it didn't work out, he was blamed for it. Impdubs was allowed to be openly loving in their honeymoon phase, Ethubs had a giant target on their backs. Impdubs' world put them together, Ethubs' tried to tear them apart.

And yet, that doesn't mean Ethubs don't have domesticity or softness. Doesn't mean the only way they show love was to kill and betray for each other. Because there was "Bdubs, I'm glad you were my partner". Because there was the stairs and the mushroom and the roof conversations. Because there was "my fragile little flower" and "I care more about Bdubs than an enchanting table". They have domestic moments, so many of it. They build together and tease each other and take care of each other. They are domestic, as much as the world allows them to. We just didn't remember it because Bdubs turned red three times, because Grian wanted Etho dead, because Tango was also a redlife and bitter about them both. But Etho loved Bdubs, and he made it known numerous times. Maybe he didn't explicitly use the word "i love you" but was it really necessary? Their world was so inherently violent, so inherently tragic, but they found softness for each other so many times, people just did not remember it.

Also it's just such a petpeeve of mine that Etho was so demonised for not giving Bdubs a life. You can love someone and have a boundary for what you are willing to give. You can love someone, and not tear yourself apart to prove it. Etho was not a coward for wanting to run away from the wither fight, he wasn't uncaring or selfish to want to live. Because in the end, he stayed and fight with Bdubs. Because he wanted to win for Bdubs afterward. Love is not sacrifice yourself without self preservation. No one else was as criticised as Etho for not giving their red partner a life, so why was Etho so harshly judged? Was it because Grian said Etho didn't love Bdubs? Because Grian's words were so trust worthy? Did you know that Etho was silent the whole way back to Scott and Pearl's after Bdubs' death? Did you know that he was grieving? That grief was just love without a recipient anymore? You watched Etho's silence and you watched his final confession, and you tell me he didn't love Bdubs. That he was a bad partner because he wanted to live.

[earlyzakariya]

Yeah yeah you're good, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I will say, I do think yours is quite flawed (not trying to hate on you, just stating a fact)

She idolises Chujin because he is, 1. Her literal husband, 2. Dead

When your husband is dead your internal bias will not be looking towards their flaws, especially because the aspects of you that are greivijg don't want to paint them as a bad person

I've seen relationships like Crroba and Starlos, and I do think the friendship they have makes sense, I think we only see the depth of their friendship in flawed pacifist/genocide as well, North Star is a persona, who is who we are with during majority of the wild east segments. They both get extremely defensive if you kill the other in geno/flawpaci, showing that beyond the playful banter, they can be serious

Starlo is currently living, which does make him easier to criticise as a person. Also Ceroba is currently grieving, for her to be seemingly distant and treating people differently does make sense

I'm not trying to tell you to change your opinion or anything I just wanted to make sure you knew some of the more conceptual flaws

The way she treats starlo vs chujin does vary alot, part of it is to show her characters depth and how she adores Chujin and wants to follow him blindly, and destroying her life trying to follow his plan, her arc is about moving on from her grief (shown theough her giving up on the super soldier plan)

I don’t really like Ceroba. (Pt 1)

Don’t get me wrong, I love her design and her as a character but the way she treats Starlo/North star and how she idolizes Chujin rubs me the wrong way.

Example 1:

for some reason she treats Starlo as a little kid, even though they’re best friends?? She mentions that she considered dating Starlo instead of Chujin but chalks it up as her being young and naive, saying that her brain was still developing; implying that she thinks that someone would have to be childish to like Starlo.

She says she envies Starlo’s “optimism” but says it more as an adult envying a child’s naivety. Saying that he “clearly chose the better path”

“I wanted to grow up and.. Star wouldn’t follow.” kinda messed up, ceroba

[dkettchen]

Watching the honest trailer for Homecoming and realising how soul cleansing it will be to see them pick apart Ragnarok in a few months

[baladric]

i was just randomly scrolling through the tdt tag and i saw your post about the horrible treatment by supposed fans towards stiefvater and trc/tdt and i couldn’t agree more. things were always tricky and it was a sad sad day when she closed her tumblr and i remember a lot of it had to do with the treatment of kavinsky’s character. i’m not saying there weren’t problematic elements to her writing but she more often than not got criticised for all sorts of dumb shit but i truly hoped that the fandom had matured in the years following the release of the raven king but i suppose it was not to be. i remember when she did a reddit ama and got accused of being homophobic because declan and jordan got engaged but not ronan and adam. like ?!?!? did this person even pay attention to the story and their character arcs?? it would make very little sense for pynch to get engaged, not least because they are barely in the same place for most of tdt. anyway sorry for the rant but i just truly feel bad for maggie, for all the work and love she put into these characters and doing it all through a scary illness that nearly stopped her from writing and by all accounts would have killed her. i definitely think she wasn’t prepared for the level of fandom and attention she was going to receive for trc and it sucks that she’s had to reduce her presence from social media since. i can’t wait for her next books though especially because they seem to be more for adults. i think she has truly mastered young adult fiction so i’m curious to see what she does next, and it’s bound to be good if tdt is any indication

oh word, friend! honestly the vitriolic outlash re: kavinsky was sort of my personal first red flag about the rising of purity culture in fandom spaces (though there were, and are, valid criticisms of k obviously, like yikes re: the "face of a refugee" shit)—and now all this stuff about pynch in tdt is like... idk, people have lost touch with the concepts of nuance and also unhomogenized relationship arcs.

(THIS GOT SO LONG SORRY, I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS)

idk how understood this is, but as a chronically ill person, i think about it a lot—ronan's entire arc in tdt, especially in cdth, is about chronic illness and the arduous, painful process of acceptance of one's disability and consequent limitations. like you said, stiefvater came into tdt after a terrifying illness during which she literally lost the ability to string sentences together, and very much had no idea if it was a skill she would ever regain. and she's still dealing with issues, i'm sure, because any serious illness leaves its marks.

being a dreamer has always had aspects of chronic illness, though one could argue that its original plot inclusions in trc aligned more with experiences of addiction and mental illness (with a soupçon of internalized homophobia, for Flavor™). but the way tdt starts off with ronan being very directly forced into conflict with his physical capabilities in regards to doing the things he needs to do for his own essential happiness (read: moving to be closer to adam, and his following inability to actually do that, as it took him too far off the ley line to be safe for him,or anyone around him) is a classic chronic illness narrative. and considering what stiefvater was coming out of, experientially, it's very clear that this is deliberate.

(i think she's actually talked about this somewhere, maybe in that reddit ama, but idr where! if anyone wants to follow-up with that, it would be lovely)

the thing is!!! navigating one's own disability is a grieving process—and grief is multifaceted, and comes paired with a lot of anger and railing at god/nature/reality/whatever. which, of course, can absolutely ruin relationships and push loved ones away. and even if it doesn't firebomb those relationships, it still complicates them intrinsically. a person can't help someone that's not helping themself, and it's hard to have space for helping yourself when all of your resources are going towards survival. and ronan is very much surviving. he is not helping himself—and he hasn't been for a long time at the start of tdt. we see that in the daily/weekly schedule declan had to force him to write so he wouldn't just waste away, and it continues apace into, you know. violent ecofascism. (which is a lot more destructive than your average joe can manage with their disability crisis, but you know, each to their own!)

meanwhile, adam's on his own self-worth/self-concept journey, spreading his wings at college and doing the very classic job of swinging oneself so far in the opposite direction of their old behaviors or the person they used to be, that it ends up being its own brand of personal disservice. he has put the adam parrish of henrietta in a box and shoved it to the back of his mind, and donned this very literal disguise (my boy! in a tweed fuckin vest and slacks! love that for him) of ivy league therapist friend!adam, and though we obvs lack adam pov to take the actual temperature of this, it's really clear that this shift isn't sustainable. you can't run from trauma, and you can't run from your past self, and he's making a valiant effort at doing both. it's gonna back up on him, if it's not already.

so ronan going off the rails? not something adam has the capacity to manage gracefully, even if ronan was letting him in—which he isn't, because he's grieving the simple fact of an inherent freedom he'll never be allowed. all of his friends have scattered on the wind like so many traumatized dandelion seeds, and he's stuck in the same place, unable to put the ghosts of their collective past behind him, because they live in his house. this is the driveway where he found his father, dead; this is the barn where he spent countless fruitless hours trying to dream a sweetmetal for his mother, only to have her die horribly before he could; this is the car in which he raced a dead boy, and these are the streets he drove with his best friend on long, sleepless nights when all they could do was try to keep each other from falling through the holes in their heads. the school he failed, the church in which he dreamed a crime worse than anything he'd dreamed before or since, the hummocks of disturbed earth, grown over with tall grass, in which he buried the things that wanted to kill him and who knows how many other corpses of his own physical self.

and he can't leave. he can never leave, so he's clutching at straws and alienating everyone who loves him and just McFreakin Losing It! which is fine, because he's nineteen and stranded and feels more alone than he ever has, in this void of anything like guidance, in the void of parental figures, in the void of any kind of traditional life path, and he has to work all of that out for himself.

so of course he and adam aren't getting fucking engaged. of course it's not a happily ever after—and it would be disinenguous for maggie goddamn stiefvater to give us that! because when has she ever been anything but a writer of complex, messy and wretchedly gorgeous characters? isn't that what drew us all to her in the first place? because fuck, y'all, the draw sure isn't her plots or her worldbuilding! (i love her worldbuilding, to be clear, it's just... aside from the dreaming, it's not super consistent)

stiefvater's appeal as an author is the very unique and complex way she understands her characters' minds, and refuses to ever play them as archetypes. gansey isn't just a nerd, or just a rich boy, or just a lonely person—he is all of them at once. he's a king of men, he's miserable, he's giddy with the thrill of being alive, he wants to get pizza with his friends and drive too fast and be allowed to go fuckin bonkers now and again and kiss the girl he loves.

gansey is a fucking problem. blue is a problem, henry is a problem—adam parrish and ronan lynch are PROBLEMS, and god fuckin bless stiefvater for not only allowing this in her characters, but for leaning into it. she lets them be messy, lets them be awful and fight and do the wrong thing, and—most importantly—she lets them find ways to come back together afterwards!

all this to say, it blows my fucking mind that people are surprised that this trilogy is doing anything other than absolutely wrecking shop. stiefvater wouldn't have written these books if there weren't things in her characters that needed to break in order to be patched back up, stronger than before. the entire raven cycle universe is built on the shifting nature of individual identity, and the ways we all have to create our own fulfillment, because the goals we set for ourselves are very rarely the point of existence that we want them to be. and if the first quartet was about gansey and adam, at their core, then this trilogy is about ronan and declan, building their fulfillment. finding their footing in the world as adults (which, you know, quick point, tdt is not young adult fiction, it's regular old speculative fiction, so uhhh yeah of course the material is gonna be even less fluffy homogenized shit than the first series) and that's fucking HARD and MESSY and just. jeez, y'all, have faith in stiefvater that it'll all come out the better, and find some peace that things are messy right now. (it's not HOMOPHOBIC for a queer person to struggle in fiction, and if you're thinking that, you need to sit down and examine that thought very deeply. i could say a lot about how declan falling in love and getting engaged is extremely meaningful for his personal development, where the same thing wouldn't be for adam and ronan, but uhhh idk)

we make a lot of jokes that stiefvater likes to hurt us, but does she? really? like, yes, her writing hurts, but as a person who was dragged kicking and screaming through his mid-20s by the nape of his neck and the slim hope of the brighter future shown in the raven cycle, i can say that her stories are actually, at their core, about healing and the awful paths we have to walk to reach it. and, with the advent of tdt, they're now also about the fact that healing is cyclical, not linear! there's no end point to growth. there's no happy ending—because there's no ending, short of death. life has ups and downs, and with every layer of ourselves we heal, another, deeper layer pulls back, demanding that same care and attention, those same tears and clawing for the light. it's hard. it sucks. but at the end of the day, we can get gelato with our friends. we can look at art. we can find our sweetmetals to carry us through our days, whether those be assistive devices, or people, or a favorite book.

;laskfjw idk TL;DR, these books would not only not be maggie stiefvater books if adam and ronan just... got engaged and were having a happy, fluffy time of it (and fwiw, declan and jordan are distinctly NOT having a happy fluffy time??)—they would also fucking suck. they would not be entries into this world. they would be doing these characters a fucking disservice. so just. everyone needs to calm down and realize they can just not read something if it makes them mad. what's that meme with the skeleton? you can just LEAVE!!! you can put the book down instead of harassing the fucking author, who is doing nothing but staying true to herself and her motivations in storytelling.

clearly i have a lot of feelings about this. if you read this far, blessings be on your funky little soul, you absolute legend.

[sunbeams-and-honey]

Ceres Part 2

Ceres in Aries: They love any physical activity, and often use it as a way to relax. They have a need to be independent and may be prone to self realisations. A lot of them. They need to be physically stimulated often, so they may fidget a lot or naturally snuggle up to people without even knowing that they're doing it. They value sharing experiences with the ones they love above any other type of gift. They find it much easier to show love, rather than to outright say it. They want to help their loved ones to find their independence. They are very protective but hate asking for help. They may have issues surrounding their own self-worth, even though they are the first person to boost the confidence of others. They need to allow themselves to work through their grief, rather than ignoring it.

Ceres in Taurus: Their love language may be touch; they absolutely love to be held and physically comforted by the ones they love. It's vital that their home is a place where they feel safe and loved, and they may like having physical reminders of good experiences in their home, such as having framed photos on the wall. They probably love comfort food, they just need to make sure that this doesn't become a problem. Eating some chocolate when you're sad is all good, but if you're doing it every day, then you should probably look into other ways of comforting yourself. They love to be pampered, even if they try to deny this fact or try to deny themselves this due to self-guilt. Things like massages may seem very appealing to them. They wish to provide financial stability for others, and find comfort through material matters, such as physical gifts. Any issues surrounding their finances will be particularly hard for them due to the comfort money usually gives them. They may be prone to being manipulated and/or manipulating others. It depends on the rest of their chart. They don't like to let go of their grief, which is very unhealthy for their grieving process and wellbeing as a whole.

Ceres in Gemini: They grow when communicating with new people in a positive way, even if they're more introverted than extroverted. It's important for them to be kind or at least civil with more or less everyone they meet. They may find themselves drawn to education, whether that means following higher education, going into the sector as a career, or just constantly having a need to learn new things. Places like libraries or old bookshops may be appealing and comforting to them. They like to talk things through as a form of care for themselves and for others. They may be more comfortable with verbally expressing their love rather than showing it. They love to spend time with the ones they truly love. Their identity may be primarily built of their intellect, so they may have some confidence issues surrounding this. They can't easily deal with rejection. Despite this, they quite literally reject their emotions during times of grief. They need to talk to others in times of hardship.

Ceres in Cancer: They tune into their maternal side and instincts when caring for others, and like to be treated in a similar way. They are very protective of their family and feel like they have a duty to look after them. Remember that this doesn't necessarily mean your biological family. Just like those with Taurus in this placement, it's important that their home is a safe and loving environment. Their home is their special place and should be treated as such. They want to provide this sense of security for their loved ones, and they really do want to care for them. These people often make great parents if they decide to have children. If not, they would at least be quite good with kids. They love to form emotional bonds and connections with others, and this comes very easy to them. However, they might deal with abandonment issues and/or self-esteem issues. They also may have a tendency to cling on to their grief for fear of moving on and forgetting. They need to remember that it's okay to get on with their life; they shouldn't be bound by their grief.

Ceres in Leo: Self-expression and developing their creativity is vital for their self-growth. They have a strong need to be recognised and appreciated and struggle greatly when they feel like they're not loved. Deep down they are a true artist and may be gifted in a certain form of art. Caring for others gives them a huge sense of pride and they might centre their identity around how they do this. They truly want to do their best with their care and are not ones to do this half-heartedly without good reason. They feel loved when they're at the centre of someone else's attention. They thrive on praise from others but they need to learn how to not always rely on this. They need to be able to motivate themselves and this is something they are destined to learn during their lifetime. They are confident in their care but it can lack a sense of empathy. They are good at raising other's confidence, and often do this by recognising the originality of others.

Ceres in Virgo: As most Virgo placements would also imply, anyone with this one probably has some kind of workaholic mentality. They value their work highly and often won't stop until they feel like they're done. They care for other people through discipline, so their way of showing you that they care would be telling you where you're going wrong and why you shouldn't do that. This makes them sound like an overbearing parent or teacher, but they just want to protect you from making bad decisions, and this seems to be the easiest way to do it. They can be harsh when doing this, so they should be told when to rein it in, but they really do care and aren't being mean for the sake of it. They love to help others improve their general skills because they really want them to go far in life. They generally take criticism well because they understand why they're being criticised and know that it will help them in the long run. They love to learn new things, especially in a tactile way. They define themselves based on their achievements, but because of this they can unrealistically high expectations. They go through grief rather quickly, which means that they can overlook what they need to work through. They need to take more time for themselves more often.

Ceres in Libra: These people are highly focused on helping other people, which they often do by expressing their acceptance of their loved ones, and by building a stable relationship with them. They're very good at adapting to the specific needs of specific people, as they understand that everyone is different, and are very observant when it comes to this. It doesn't take them long to work out what a certain person wants/needs. They thrive on communication and stability with a person, and they love to share with them. They also love general intimacy, and this doesn't necessarily mean just sex. They can be selfless to the point of neglecting themselves completely, and this is a hard thing for them to overcome because they base their identity so much through others. They need to learn how to put themselves first and how to separate themselves from other people. Their identity is their own. They are quite open with their emotions so grief isn't as difficult as it could be.

Ceres in Scorpio: People with this placement want to have real connections with the people in their lives. They care for others through any and all kinds of intimacy, and like to be treated in a similar fashion. They don't favour emotional or physical care, tending to combine the two instead. They try to inspire their loved ones to achieve their very best because they think personal transformation is very important. Growth and control are also valued highly with this placement. They prefer to stifle their emotions, so they unknowingly make dealing with grief more difficult for themselves than it could be. They need to learn how to open up more to others.

Ceres in Sagittarius: People with this placement absolutely love to learn and explore, and they need the freedom to do so in order to feel loved. This is how they best grow and thrive. They want to inspire and support the other people in their lives so that they can help them do their best and get through hard times. Their own confidence and optimism helps them greatly with this. They also tend to use their own past experiences and knowledge to help others. They like to build their identity on these things, as well as their beliefs, morals and, to an extent, their loved ones. They have a tendency to avoid grief, preferring to stay strong for other people. That isn't to say that they ignore their grief altogether. They do work through it at some point, it just takes them longer than most.

Ceres in Capricorn: This placement is an indicator that the native holds recognition and achievement in very high esteem. They feel that other people truly care about them when they try to help them achieve their best. Stability is also very important to them and is the main reason why they want to be successful. They're quite big on responsibility and discipline because it's important to them that the people in their lives also achieve success. This focus that they have can mean that they are sometimes too hard on themselves, so they need to understand where to draw the line. They need to learn that their self-worth is not just defined by their achievements in life, and that failure is not necessarily a bad thing. They sometimes feel guilty for dealing with their emotions and grief because they don't think they have the time to work through that side of themselves. They need to learn that this isn't true.

Ceres in Aquarius: These people like to support their loved ones through genuine friendship and by defending them. They loved individuality as a whole and it's vital to them that the people in their life are accepting of one's individuality. They try to make sure that their loved ones feel wanted and respected. They like to be treated in a similar way but they also need a lot of freedom. They need to feel like they're able to breathe. Their role in their community is important to their identity, as well as their connections, originality and creativity. Their politics and what they believe in is also crucial. They may struggle with intimacy and intense emotions because of their tendency to be somewhat of a lone wolf. They're the type of person to have lots of friends but not many close ones. They prefer to detach themselves from their feelings.

Ceres in Pisces: People with this placement are great at understanding and emotionally supporting others. They're selfless to the point of self-sacrifice when it comes to their loved ones, especially to their children. They want to be strong and dependable for others as much as they can. They are sympathetic, compassionate and hugely accepting. They have a large and very alive imagination which needs to be constantly fuelled. They have a tendency to work themselves to the bone so they need to be reminded that they deserve to have a break and be looked after. They sometimes have issues related to their self-worth because they mainly define themselves by how they support others. They constantly feel like they need to be helping someone. Grief can be difficult for them because they feel their emotions so intensely. They are easily overwhelmed by their feelings so they need to learn how to cope in a different way.